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drifting-pieces-blog-blog · 6 months

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Breaking down the Comics: Writing a legend, building a history.

Today we aren't reviewing an issue of Moon Knight. Today we are going to talk about something important.

So who wrote Moon Knight?

"Easy!", you might say. "Doug Moench!"

Sure. But you'd be surprised to find that it's not as much as you'd think.

Doug Moench wrote issues 1-15, 17-26, 28-33.

He returns in 1998 for a 4 issue mini seires Vol 3 "Resurrection Wars" which revives Marc Spector, who had been killed off in the previous volume.

He continues in 1999 with Vol 4, another 4 issue mini series "High Strangers/Strangeness" which won an award for favorite limited series.

He also wrote werewolf by Night, which gave us the first iteration of Moon Knight. An instantly popular character that made appearances in other comics like "The Hulk" before he was given his own comic.

He had time to work on the designs with Bill Sienkiewicz. They built up the weapons, the costume, the cab, and the copter.

He also built up the side characters of Gena, Gena's two boys, Crawley, Frenchie, Detective Flint, and Marlene.

He set the ground rules:

Moon Knight system is Jewish.

Marc, Jake, and Steven are a part of a system and are not one man pretending to be someone else

Jake is the one that is friendly and loves being with the people.

Steven is posh, collected, and takes care of things.

Marc is the one with experience, has the skills needed to get things done, and holds all the pain.

They are former Mercenaries who did terrible things and have deep guilt.

Khonshu resurrected them to act as Moon Knight

They strive to protect any who would come to them for help that perhaps might not get it elsewhere

I would even argue that he was building up to the fact that Moon Knight himself was his own form of alter but it has since been glossed over and replaced with the idea that Marc is most often the one under the mask.

Pretty simple rules to follow to make it a Moon Knight comics, but you'd be surprised what some writers have done with it.

These comics were written long before DID was acknowledged and the different forms of PTSD and Dissociation were defined.

And yet, here we stand with a traumazied man from Chicago slowly working through a freshly cognizant system and trying to figure out how three (four) people can work together towards not just a life, but life as a superhero who wants to help people.

Further more, an odd thing happened in this.

We had a comic that often focused more on mental health than on super powers, heroics, or villains.

More often than not, we watched Marc, Jake, and Steven struggle with themselves and one another. We watched stories unfold from the villain's point of view, often just being ordinary people pushed too far by a system that failed them.

More so, we watched Moon Knight sympathise with these villains.

How often he let them walk away or he let them kill their abusers, wondering if he was doing wrong himself.

How can he help when sometimes the help he offers is not what is needed?

We even watched him fail. We saw him lose his temper and cause damage. We saw him curl into a ball and break. We saw him get lost in his own nightmares and dissociative fuges.

Moench stepped forward and often handled current events with raw emotion. We saw his characters cry over the loss of public iconic figures. We watched people struggling as they returned from war. We saw child abuse and poverty. We watched economic struggles with classism and we watched people struggle to deal with grief.

We even watched them deal with antisemitism over and over again. How many times were the victims of his stories Jewish and trying to survive in America? What about the story that took place with the mass shooting in the Synagoug? We heard stories of Generational trauma as elders struggled with survival after the Holocaust.

Moon Knight was a unique comic unlike any other I've ever come across. For it's time and for it's topics at the time. What's more, this comic continued.

It was no 'special of the week' comic and spanned multiple years as they grew.

What do we know about Moench? Who did he write this comic for?

The Moon Knight in the Were Wolf by Night certainly didn't have all this depth. He was just a man dressed in silver, fighting a monster and ultimately choosing the side of the monster.

Moench himself was from Chicago. He knew what it was like to live in the city and see the fall of factories and hard times on the streets. We know he witnessed the times of Vietnam veterans being forgotten and abused. He witnessed a lot of changes happening in the world and the places he was writing about.

He wrote about what spoke to him and what he saw around him.

And in his stories, there often were no clear heroes, winners, or villains.

But there was one issue that he chose to add into this comic that was already filled with so many things that other comics avoided.

Moon Knight wasn't written as Jewish in that one shot cameo. He wasn't written with DID either, but I'll get to that.

There are interviews of Doug admitting that "I didn't say, 'I'm going to sit down and create a Jewish character.'"

In fact, he picked a name and later found out it was a Jewish name. This made him do research. Not just into Judaism, but into the areas that Marc Spector fought in and where his family came from.

Do you have any idea how many writers of that time and our current time simply slap the label of "Jewish" on a character and refuse to actually look into what makes them Jewish?

I can't say how much he researched and how much he got wrong or right, but I do know that when he did choose to dive into topics that touched on certain issues, he handled them with a grace that is often overlooked.

The writer that came after Moench? Alan Zelenetz, a former Jewish day school principal from Brooklyn.

Zelenetz had been acting as an editor for a bit before he took a look at Moench's early start.

And it was in Issue 37 and 38 where we get the real backstory of Marc Spector. A man running from his Rabbi father.

Marc now became the son of an Orthodox Rabbi who had been forced to flee Czechoslovakia after the Nazi invasion.

Here, we get the story of Marc running to the Marines. Running to the mercenaries, and running from home. Perhaps even, running from G-d.

Zelenetz wanted to lean into the Jewish past and Jewish story. He explored themes of using a holy book to create a villain while playing with Jewish myths. He also explored Antisemitism without toning it down or hiding it under comic bookish villainy. He portrayed Moon Knight facing white supremacist vandalizing a Jewish Cemetery. He showed Moon Knight saving the Torah from a Synagogue fire. He also showed a strained relationship and the question of Moon Knight finding his own relationship in what he does with his father's views.

Alan Zelenetz edited/wrote shorts for issues 18, 21–22, 27, 32, Then wrote the whole story for issues 36–38.

Zelenetz voiced that he was looking to add some Jewish representation into his workforce and perhaps into the comic industry at the time. Considering his background, perhaps he was the only one at the time that had the proper knowledge to play with things the way that he did in the story of Elias Spector's death and Marc Spector's pain.

He did not stick around with Moon Knight for long after. Though, he admits that he wanted to play with the fact that Khonshu was an Egyptian god and Marc was from such a Jewish background. I am sad we didn't get to see that story.

After that, Moon Knight's original 1980s run was finished. The question of what to do with Moon Knight, where to take him, and who would take up the mantle of writing him now lay in the hands of Marvel.

Many failed after this. They failed to keep the heart of what Moon Knight stood for and who Moon Knight was. His Jewishness was forgotten and his mental health became a joke.

Not to say all of them failed. There are a few shining stars that gleamed in the darkness and I like to think that it was these moments that kept Moon Knight going all these years.

Moench didn't set out to write a story about mental health, and yet his approach is the most real I've seen. Hardly a shining picture of perfect representation, there is still something there in watching the character almost seem to push back against the unintended desire to push him into a corner.

No matter how often Jake and Steven and Moon Knight were seen as Marc pretending to be someone else, there was always ALWAYS that correction. Always that push back.

Call it the writer's curse of characters misbehaving and taking on a life of their own, but perhaps there was something more there. Perhaps he felt the weight of time and cry of the suppressed and overlooked.

So many of his stories danced the line of "I can't say it because it will get edited out by the big wigs at Marvel, but if you would just look... Just look over here for just a moment..."

And years upon years later, a writer did see the whispers there and said "I see the story of pain. I see the cry of mental health." Lemire told the story that Moench couldn't and from that, we are still pushing forward with McKay.

And more, perhaps we will see the Jewish story that hides in all that also get a spotlight again.

In the era of big battles, cross-over events, explosions, and super villains cackling about domination... I still look back at Stained Glass Scarlet, The Druid, the Music Box, And Colloquy.

As I finish the original 1980s run, I brace myself to dive into what comes next.

I think I'm trying to find where and how the original run ventured so far into the dark and insulting territory it did and the journey back into a revival that now means so much to so many.

In a way, perhaps it mirrors a journey into our own mental health. How easy it is to become lost in what everyone around you tells you that you are and how you are supposed to be until your own doubt sets in to drown you. Perhaps it is the journey of Moon Knight's character emerging from this to find a path to healing that is what kept us here so long.

#Moon Knight #Moon Knight comics #Analyzing the comics #Marc Spector #Jake Lockley #Steven Grant #Doug Moench #Moon Knight is Jewish #Moon Knight has DID #A system of hope #I'm rambling again #But this is important to me

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loopyarts · 2 months

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Here’s a sketchy drawing and a two panel comic that I did back in late January this year of an Au idea concept inspired by @crate-of-edges fic idea concept of them being turned into little kids with no memory of themselves as adults post and this is my Au idea and take on the concept idea of what if somehow Sanji brothers got cursed/de-age 10 years back to being 11-12 year old boys and now Sanji and Strawhats have to deal with them while also trying to find a way to reverse the curse/de-age effect inflicted upon them.

In this state, Sanji brothers are weaker because one they’re kids again and two their bodies can’t handle they own powers right now and they also seems to have a bit of memory loss at the moment but will regain them as time goes on. Yup, Sanji is basically having to babysit his brothers and play big brother to them, the only one that feels natural to him is Yonji because Yonji is his actual baby brother.

While with Ichiji, Sanji strangely finds that he starts to look after now as well and despite his age he acts like he’s 15-16 rather than a 11-12 year old boy although he does have his bratty and prideful moments and Sanji slowly starts to lose his mind whenever Ichiji decide to wonder off on his own or weirdly enough go fish diving.

Sanji feels like he has no idea what is going on in his older brother head and it doesn’t help that he also rarely talks which is fun but as time goes Ichiji began to open up more and more to Sanji to where he’s finds out that this Sanji is actually his little failure of a brother Sanji.

Niji is well Sanji living hell, an absolute brat of all brats. But as times go on Niji starts to respect Sanji and they both bond through kick combo training together and Sanji share some of his techniques to Niji to which the little gremlin absorbed like a sponge.

Also Niji a nightmare when it comes to food to point he refuses to eat what Sanji gives him, since he didn’t trust him yet. When Sanji does get Niji to try his dishes, he eats them up like no tomorrow and surprisingly asks for seconds. Niji also grows the closest to Sanji to where he wants to protect him and look after him just as much, that need to protect Sanji.

Which grew even more when he found out, this Sanji is his little brother Sanji.

Yonji is at first is very spoiled and entailed little chestnut, who acts like snot nosed brat to Sanji and constantly calls him stinky fish man. But Yonji bonded with Sanji the quickest and he loved that Sanji acknowledges his book-smarts and especially loves talking to Sanji friend Robin about the books and world, although he does get annoyed how Sanji treats like a little kid all the time.

When Yonji finds out, he not all that surprised by it but he surprised by how strong his big brother has gotten and is confused why they all tiny while he’s not.

After a while they found a cure for curse and let just say the brothers have had an experience while they still part ways. They surprised felt connected and didn’t let go of that experience they had together despite how odd it was for Sanji brothers to go through.

The comic kinda explains partly on how the boys got de aged. But to give a further more in depth rundown basically it takes place after Wano and they somehow encounter each other on another island before Egghead. The reasons the Sanji’s brothers are there is because they have a mission they carrying out which involves the person who cursed them to be 10 years younger. Who has been causing an uproar in town on the island due to their mending with age.

Basically they find her she kinda like a witch with feathered hat leak stick and has giant bag where she keeps her bottles and has the power to take memories and age take away or give age to a person and seal in a bottle.

Blah blah Sanji and his brothers start fighting and arguing giving her loads of time to quickly curse Sanji brothers and take away 10 years of age and memories away making them 11-12 year old kids again. Sanji was too shock to realise she escaped and went into hiding on another part of the island. Now Sanji is stuck looking after his de-age brothers along with strawhat crew and they now begin the journey of finding the age witch and reversing the curse done on his brothers.

Ichiji, Niji and Yonji basically got magic poofed into being kids again like an old fariytale. Also the time Witch thought it be funny because how childish they were all being and with how awful they being to Sanji, she decided to punish them and she hoping Sanji will give them a taste of they own medicine.

Also, Ichiji, Niji and Yonji will slowly regain parts of their memories as adults as they slowly put the pieces that this stranger is actually their twin brother Sanji. That’s all I got in my head for plot I basically was making it up as I draw the comics amd drawings for fun. OvO’

There a scene with Ichiji putting blanket on Sanji happens way later in the story in my head and it he also confirming to reader that he now knows that adult Sanji is his little brother and yes Ichiji will be first to figure it out because he a sharp cookie. Niji will figure it out last because he’s stubborn and take a bit longer to put two and two together. (Hint, hint I have a full oneshot comic based this idea that be posted soon hopefully. OvO’)

Oh I almost forgot to mention in my mind and headcanons Ichiji powers can hurt him outside of the raid suit. So if he uses his sparks as a child he will hurt himself despite not being as powerful he can still inflict damage onto himself. Also my version of Niji has low vision and cannot see very well without his goggles.

Anyway, that’s all my rambling on this idea. I will probably won’t do much more with this Au idea after I have finished doing that oneshot comic.

#one piece #vinsmoke ichiji #vinsmoke niji #one piece sanji #vinsmoke yonji #vinsmoke brothers #Fic/au idea concept #Doddle #Comic doddle #my art #Cursed VS bros au #vinsmoke sanji

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astrolavas · 1 year

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So, I have a theory that at the end of Thanks to Them when Hunter absorbed Flapjack (that’s the best word I can think of but you get it) he also gained Flapjack’s powers and to use them he turns into a similar form to Harpy Eda I thought that would be cool but what’s your opinion?

yeahhh, it's a popular theory and i'm 👁👁 !

tbh i feel like what is CERTAIN is that flapjack is a part of hunter now and we're definitely... gonna see more of him, in some form. i can imagine that he's a part of hunter's mindscape (similarly to how palismen consumed by belos were a part of his mindscape, except in this case flapjack willingly sacrificed himself; so i imagine his experience would be pleasant: being able to exist in his favorite boy's mind knowing this sacrifice saved his life, as opposed to being tormented by having your soul trapped in your killer's head... oof), especially when we take this crew member's ig post into consideration:

"For Flapjack... See you in our memories." AND IT'S?????? a mystical-looking forest, flapjack's (empty) staff stick, and (hunter's?) hooty mask? okay...... OKAY. i see what you're doing....

flapjack being a part of hunter's mindscape is also a way for us to get an actual look into the past, cuz we still haven't seen what happened between caleb, philip and evelyn directly (we have an idea thanks to, for example, all the hollow mind paintings, but what they showed us in the last episode and how they showed it to us makes me think they're definitely setting it up to fully reveal what happened sometime in the next episodes). so i think hunter is going to get a look into flapjack's memories, since they're literally connected now, and he's gonna see what exactly happened with caleb, philip and evelyn (that's how he's gonna find out clawthornes are descendants of caleb as well), from flapjack's pov. (hoping that if we enter his mindscape, then we also get some more direct look into hunter's past and some of his pre-canon memories 🕯🕯🕯 but like, we're definitely seeing some of flapjack's imo, that's for sure)

so.. tbh what i wonder is..... what's next.

we do know that grief is one of the main themes of season 3 (or, even the owl house as a whole). we're shown different ways grief can manifest and diff ways it can be approached.... luz, camila, darius, flapjack, even belos in a way..... hm. and now hunter.

luz and camila lost manny and we see it's affected them a LOT. we see this grief throughout luz's character journey, throughout camila's too. we see how painful this loss was... but they've also dealt with it in a rather healthy way. they carried on and got better, and even though they're forever going to miss him, they went on with their lives and adapted to that loss. and luz got azura from her dad and read it thanks to him, and now part of this big special interest of her also comes from and reminds her of her dad's love. and it's sooo so 🤲

we see that darius cared abt and respected his mentor a lot, to the point where he thought hunter wasn't worthy to be the next golden guard and was taking that feeling out on him, thinking he didn't deserve to inherit such title after his mentor had died. (hoping we see them talk abt the mentor and other golden guards in the next eps tbh cuz.... come on, they have a lot to talk abt still.)

belos.......... it's hard to call it a typical grief but it IS in some way, maybe has even been since the moment he saw caleb with that witch, cuz that's when he died in his eyes. this grief manifested into almost an obsession, where he keeps re-making caleb over and over, obsessed with the idea of them being witch hunters together, wanting to make a version of his brother that wouldn't "betray" him even though that's sth that is always always ALWAYS going to happen, it's inevitable. refusing to let it go and spiraling more and more... HM.

and now there's.......... hunter. hunter who already went through so so much, and who just lost his best friend, someone he loved the most. hunter who definitely feels guilty, but he also knows it was BELOS' doing, and he wants belos to pay for what he's done. hunter who.. was finally FINALLY happy, yet had all of his happiness taken away just like that. hunter who knows flapjack sacrificed his own life so that HE can live, and that he's forever going to be with him; his palisman soul.. but also the memories they made together. hunter who's clearly so so shattered, but trying not to focus on that pain he's feeling, cuz then he'd completely break. hunter who's angry at belos, who isn't going to rest until he gets some justice for flap. hunter who's going to have to go through this grief and loss... just.

there are so many ways his grief can be approached. especially comparing it to other characters' ways of dealing with grief, especially belos'..... showing how unhealthy holding on to sth we've lost might be.. showing acceptance of loss, a healthy way of letting go... showing that even if someone is gone, they're still going to be with us forever.... showing the anger and the feeling of unfairness that often accompany the feeling of grief.......... hm.

so i feel..... there are a few things that can happen.

the probably saddest but realistic scenario is that... hunter gets to have a final goodbye with flapjack. he gets to talk to him, gets to find out what he's been hiding from him, he gets to experience flapjack's love again and build a happy last memory for the future. and then.. flapjack is gone. and it's sad as HELL.. but promising for the future, cuz then hunter can healthily move on with his life. he can keep on, feeling less guilty, less heart-broken, with a happy last flapjack memory to accompany him. it's.... extremely sad, but when it comes to losing someone..... having that chance, to say goodbye, to have your last memory with a person you love be a happy, full-filling one, it can do wonders for grief. it doesn't make the loss hurt any less ofc but..... it makes you feel like you can go on, like there's no "unfinished business" weighing down on your heart.

the other still rather sad scenario is that yes, they do talk, etc. etc. but flapjack DOES stay with hunter forever, as a part of him. i'd say it's bittersweet, cuz then flapjack IS alive, in a way, he's not gone, he's forever able to communicate with hunter, he remains by his side til the very end.

sth abt flapjack having been alive for hundreds of years, all alone, but then finally finding a new person to love, and deciding to sacrifice his own life in order to save that person, deciding to stay with that person forever. it's so— OUHHGHHGGG. there's this bittersweetness here cuz then hunter doesn't lose flapjack, not completely. but he's still..... gone in a form that hunter would prefer. flapjack's with him but they can no longer fly together. he's never gonna tuck hunter in after he falls asleep reading a book in the middle of the night anymore. he's not going to tug on his hairstrand or annoy him (cutely). he's never going to race with other birds or catch an early rattle-worm anymore, he's never gonna sing in the morning. and it's SAD, it's extremely sad and tragic and.. sad. but he's with him, so it's also sweet. and it works as (a bit more literal but..) a metaphor of "even when you lose someone, they can live on in your heart, and in your memories". but... ouch.

there's also the theory that hunter may find a way to carve flapjack back, since he has his soul inside of him (and maybe it's "extractable" somehow??), has expressed the want to learn how to carve palismen, and eda does have that palistrom seed, and he might have to talk with clawthornes anyway (since he is gonna find out they're.. kinda sorta related, and i feel like the clawthornes would like to know abt that too so jxjsk).

one of the big enigmas of that scenario, though, is the question: "how would he go around doing it?" would he carve him out identical? would he give him a new shape, a completely new form? or would it be a completely “new” palisman but with a bit of flapjack’s loving soul inside? would hunter form “flapjack” with a new "goal"/"intention" in mind? since they previously bonded by hunter's shared-with-flapjack desire to be free and able to make his own choices, so... . AND, if flapjack could just be carved back out like that, wouldn't his sacrifice feel.... more weak/kinda worthless in the end? this just feels a bit too easy but... HM. i can’t imagine it would be easy, though. there’s always sth that’d make it a challenge, and tbh.. even if it wasn’t, at this point hunter DESERVES to have sth good happen to him, even if unrealistic or “too easy”, but yeah. that’s what makes me wonder if they’d go for this writing choice.

.....there’s also the fact that “re-making”/”bringing back” someone you’d lost is exactly what belos has been doing, albeit in a very different way and with very different intentions, but with a similar end goal, so i could see them going for a contrasty parallel here; never moving on from someone’s death vs acceptance of loss. however, on the other hand, belos also never cared abt any of the golden guards, he wasn’t bringing “caleb” back out of love. so i COULD also see the contrasting scenario in which hunter would be able to bring back flapjack, but because he’d do it out of love for him, it’d be a genuine second chance in life, a successful happy ending. sth belos could never even realistically achieve, because he’d only cared abt himself and his own forced vision of what he and “caleb” (the idealised version of his brother that he had in his head) would do together, not abt what the actual caleb (or hunter, or any of the previous grimwalkers) actually wanted or who they actually were; he couldn’t care less abt that. so yEAH, this specific idea has so many “what if”s and “what about”s, narratively it could either work or not, depending on what direction they decide to go with hunter’s grief but...... HM. yeah.

i’ve also seen ppl propose that flapjack sacrificing himself for hunter and “merging with him” gave him some actual magic and made him like a “full witch”, spell circles and all; and.. that'd be awful actually, sure hope the crew didn't go there. i’ve talked abt it before but, in general, hunter's arc as a powerless "witch" works as a strong disability metaphor. and it's just...... it's about acceptance, it's about finding self-worth, it's about accommodating your needs, it’s about becoming proud and comfortable in your identity, NOT.... about whatever the hell him actually permanently getting witch magic would be; it’d be a “fixing disability” trope, which is just..... bad. awful. so, so wrong for so many reasons. sure hope they didn’t go there cuz that'd be so pointless and take away so much importance from his arc.... but also i don’t think they’d do sth like this?? because eda’s arc (which serves as another disability metaphor) is written well and with care; they didn’t cure her curse or give her her magic back, so.. i doubt they’d give hunter magic, either. but, y’know, just to be safe and clear. (also, even symbolism aside, i don’t think hunter (who’s already made of palistrom wood) absorbing a palisman’s soul/magic/energy would result in... him becoming a “real witch” and being able to create spell circles, like? 😭😭 i doubt it’d work that way)

NOW, him getting some grimwalker-specific features/abilities unlocked, though? OR even being able to just do flapjack’s teleporty thing? that could work. him getting at least something nice out of this whole situation, still having flapjack with him, without having the metaphor behind his character erased, would be soooo nice.

now, as for harpy hunter!

it honestly makes a lot of sense too. belos, having consumed palismen, gained his whole..... y’know, goo form, which is a clear indication that absorbing palisman magic/having palismen as a part of your mindscape may change you physically. the way he’d gone about it, though, is he consumed many, MANY different palismen, and he literally..... sucked magic out of each one of them, after killing them. so i imagine that if hunter were to gain his own palisman-based form, it’d be more similar to eda’s harpy form rather than belos’ goo form, because it’d be based on flapjack only (rather than an amalgamation of all these different creatures) AND it wouldn’t have come from, y’know, sucking literal life out of poor little creatures, but from a loving friend’s willing sacrifice. à propos harpy eda, too, her harpy form obviously came from her facing her curse, bonding with the owl beast and accepting it as a part of her; so it feels like if hunter were to get a harpy form, obviously he wouldn’t have to “accept” flapjack (like that’s his little darling baby, that’s his bestie, that’s his sweet little bird), but he would probably have to deal with something in order for that to happen. the mechanics is different but.. in both instances, the “creature” (the owl beast and flapjack) inside of them is a part of them, exists in their mind (most likely/somewhat), and they’re able to somehow communicate with them and feel their presence (in hunter’s case it’s not confirmed but we may speculate that’s the case, based on what we saw in the last episode post-flapjack’s-death), so the mechanics also is sort of similar. different, yet... not.

so, in all technicality, it seems like harpy/red cardinal form hunter WOULD make sense, from the magical pov. it goes along with the logic of how some other characters’ different “monster” forms originate. although, the rules aren’t very set in stone, each of these situations is its own unique thing, so in the end it all just depends on (again) what direction the crew decides to go in.

however, the thing that makes me hmmmm about it is, i’m not sure if they'd.. implement the same metaphor as they did with eda, y'know? like, her curse and harpy form function as this whole symbolism of living with a chronic illness/disability, so hmmm would they go for the exact same conclusion/endgame with hunter? especially with the grief motif of season 3? not sure, not sure. they MIGHT though, who knows.

........there’s another thing that makes me think it MAY happen, though, and it’s like. hunter has this cursed tendency to say things that'll later come to haunt him in the MOST ironic way, like this boy literally projects on people in the most random ways and manifests every single unfortunate thing left and right, and i just 😭😭

"ew why are you touching it with your hands?" *touches a suspicious-looking substance with his finger with a FRESH OPEN WOUND on it and gets possessed* “because none of you can use real magic" *is magicless* “you don't tend to think things through, do you, human?" *never thinks things through* *is also technically partially human* "hello criminals" *becomes a criminal* "these things are made of wild magic, it’s dangerous" *is literally a grimwalker made of the same wild magic, like literally the same type of wood as palismen* LIKE..... BOY. STOP SAYING THINGS. IT NEVER ENDS WELL.

so i just.

that damn “at least i'm not delusional enough to think i can turn into a harpy" line is absolutely hysterical to me, cuz if he DOES end up being able to turn into a harpy, then......... 😭😭😭😭😭 look. a throwback to this line, a callback to this line.. it’d be so funny.

but yEAH.

there’s one more thing that makes me wonder abt where this all is going and it’s, like. flapjack basically counted as hunter’s support animal/disability aid. for someone powerless, having palisman while living in a world based around magic is... EXTREMELY helpful. hunter can’t fly without flapjack, he can’t play flyer derby without him (something he expressed he’d like to continue doing), he can’t teleport..

so, does he get a new palisman? because... there’s very little time for us to get attached to it and to kinda.. get to know it, if that’s the case. and also flapjack is still a part of hunter, so. hm. (unless that changes too, but. GAH) i feel like he loves flapjack so much, it’d be hard for hunter to replace him. he’d definitely feel so so happy being able to create palismen for others, or just for the sake of creating life, but creating a new one for himself.. that might be hard. or does he get another artificial staff? because that is a thing that represents hunter’s time at the coven, time before he bonded to flapjack, before he realized wild magic is not, in fact, dangerous at all. so hm..... OR does he indeed get flapjack’s teleporting ability?? or the ability to turn into a harpy, and that replaces the use of a palisman? (+ starts using glyph magic) could he play flyer derby like that? i suppose he could..... i hope so. or does he not replace flapjack with anything, because he spends most of his time in the human realm?

LIKE, IT’S JUST. GAHHHH. hunter... :(

i’m sure there’s gonna be lots of grief-related themes, some anger, some acceptance, some sadness, some justice, and finally some happiness in the end, something hunter deserves and needs just... so, so much. he deserves to heal, he deserves to be HAPPY. but it’s still just..... gonna hurt a lot first.

there’s honestly so many ways this can go and so many things that can happen, so........ yeah. hm. thinking.

#love being in denial! can't wait for flapjack to wake up next episode :) he's just meditating #anyway this ended up being another mini-essay so 💀 i could talk more too. have many thoughts abt that nerd.#his eye color change is also very interesting and can mean so many things...........#like. GAH. many thoughts. head full #toh spoilers #nicole answers #hunter toh #sleepy-paint #hunter #the owl house #my toh talk

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toastandjamie · 6 months

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Been thinking about Mat Cauthon again, not an abnormal occurrence, but here’s an essay about him.

I have to cut this up because of the word limit, so here’s part 1

Part 1: How To Traumatize Your Comedic Relief

So like, Mat’s paranoia and trust issues stem entirely from the events of the first book regarding the Shadar Logoth dagger. But like- I wanna talk meta about Mat’s story and the concepts of loss of innocence, the evils of man, and fear of being powerless and how that relates to his character arc and relationships in the story. So let’s put aside the lore explanation of “evil dagger doing evil dagger things”

So when we first meet not just Mat, but all three Ta’veren boys there’s this element of childlike innocence to them. Despite the fact that all three are eighteen at the start of the series, Emmonds Field is so isolated, safe and peaceful that the boys are actively noted as being exceptionally naive to the outside world. They’re practically toddlers being left alone in a grocery store when they get separated from the actual experienced adults. This is a feature not a bug mind you, when it comes to having protagonists to introduce a world to an audience with. Not to mention that sets up all of the Emmonds Fields kids(this is specifically barring Nynaeve) to have a “Loss of Innocence” character arc, and they all do, but what’s interesting is how each character handles this loss and how long it takes for them to accept this reality. Mat is actually the first of them to really experience the effects of this loss of innocence, due to previously mentioned dagger problems, but let’s ignore the curse and talk about what exactly happened in Shadar Logoth that shook Mat’s worldview so badly. Mat does not start the story as the cynical and sarcastic character we all know and love, he’s introduced to us as being genuinely kindhearted and trusting, like I know it’s easy to forget given EVERYTHING Mat does in the later books, but of the three Ta’veren boys he’s the one who trusts Morraine the most in the beginning. He doesn’t question her motives nor does he seem to have any innate hostility towards her being Aes Sedai like Rand does(though his hostility stems from a place of jealousy and protectiveness of Egwene rather than genuine prejudice). The same goes for Thom as well, Mat doesn’t know anything about this person but he trusts these seemingly well intentioned adults intrinsically. The only person Mat seems to even have the slightest hesitation about is Lan and that’s solely because he’s aloof and doesn’t show much emotion, something that Mat finds extremely off-putting as the type of person who always has Big Feelings, and takes a lot of self esteem in his ability to make others laugh. This makes sense, because at this point they’ve not encountered any darkfriends(that they knew of) so currently the only Evil they encountered has been literal shadowspawn monsters. The Emmonds Field kids have never met a person who had genuinely bad intentions, I’ll-tempered like Cenn Buie, or a bit disreputable like the Coplins and Congars but even these people were at their cores Good People. So why WOULD they distrust these people who say they have their best interests at heart. That’s when we get to Shadar Logoth, and Mat as the ADHD icon he is, immediately gets bored and wants to explore the abandoned city. Rand and Perrin, as the two more mature ones both rightfully call this a bad idea since they were told NOT to go exploring by themselves, but Mat only heard “Trolloks can’t come in here so it’s safe” and nothing else so he decides to go anyways. Rand and Perrin tag along mostly to make sure Mat doesn’t get hurt. And who do they meet except the most suspicious man ever who lures them into his white van- I mean treasure room with the promise of candy-I mean treasure. These boys have never heard of stranger danger in there lives and automatically trust this random man who lurks in alleyways. And wouldn’t you know it, but this guy was not trustworthy at all and tries to kill them resulting in the group getting separated.

Here’s the thing, this is the first time in Mat’s life that he’s ever experienced true man made evil. This wasn’t the dark ones doing, Mordreth was just a guy who had genuinely malicious intentions and took advantage of Mat and his friends. This alone is enough to make him cautious but then throughout their entire road trip to Camlyn they are constantly ambushed by dark friends, in fact after Whitebridge they don’t get any direct encounters with Shadowspawn, they see a few myrrdraal hunting them but they avoid them pretty easily, it’s the People that consistently hurt them; and they are EVERYWHERE. Darkfriends are practically popping up at every street corner and they could be literally anyone. Mat tells Rand at one point that he feels like everyone is out to get them and Rand assures him that not everyone is a darkfriend, but at the same time, I can SEE why Mat would come to that conclusion. I mean is it really paranoia if they actually are out to get you? It wasn’t even just darkfriends, which makes it’s objectively worse, throughout their road-trip May and Rand are constantly met with people who are selfish, greedy, rude and sometimes even outright cruel and a lot of them weren’t darkfriends. They interact with Whitecloaks who are supposed to be righteous and good but are just bullies in shiny armor and carrying around swords. They interact with merchants on the road who take active pleasure in nearly taking out Rand’s eye with whip because the two of them walked a little too close to a cart. An innkeeper who purposefully locked them in a small storage closet so that he could rob them in the middle of the night. Rand remains optimistic but by the time they reach Camlyn Mat had become completely pessimistic and despondent. He didn’t trust anyone, he believed wholeheartedly that everyone wanted to hurt him, everyone except of course Rand.

#wheel of time #mat cauthon #wheel of time spoilers #wot book spoilers #wot meta #mat’s trust issues: an essay

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yourlocalstranger123 · 1 year

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—Iruma-kun—

Yes, I am aware that the anime/manga he is around 14, but in this setting, he is 18-29. The age that is still in college ig.

This is similar to the idea of the various scaramouche versions.

Part 2 (smut) you're here!

Part 1

Blue: our 'Innocent' usual Iruma

Purple: evil cycle Iruma

Red: F! Reader

Orange: M! Reader

Warning: pegging, degrading, k!nks, 4-some and I think that's all?

You honestly don't know how you got here, but on one side is the normal Iruma. Being shy and making sure you were comfortable while the other...the evil cycle Iruma. You were so oblivious to his flirting. At least he's here with you now.

They both do not have any experience at all. So there's definitely a high chance of them being a pillow prince, not able to do anything but take what you give greedily ♥︎

Of course, they both try to please you and try to do some action.

Iruma tries his best, so please call him a good boy? He promise he can take what you give him! He'll try to keep up to your desired pace or hungrily eating you out/sucking you off. So he barely gets any punishments. He would live to love your praises when you whisper in his ear while you fuck him dumb. Overstimulate him, making him whine and whimper. He will sit there so he could be a good boy just for you! So give him the deserving reward, or he might just cry!

Evil cycle Iruma would ride you [could be a strap too], and sometimes, when you are asleep, he'll tease you. Making you wake up while he's sitting/laying there, waiting for a punishment. Degrade him [not too much], with a little of possessiveness and praise. "Aren't you my pretty slut? Too bad you're only mine" edge him, make him beg for it. Put him in his place when he is being a little bratty. Make him desperate when you reward normal Iruma so well.

"Aah~! ToO' faAst~!" He whined when he felt M! Reader thrust into him, hitting his prostate while F! Reader starts kissing his neck, down to his chest, teasing him as she strokes his cock, "Hey, when is it my turn?" F! Reader looks at M! Reader questionably. M! Reader grunts, his pace goes quicker, making Iruma whimper and moan by the sudden pace. He squealed when he felt F! The reader suddenly kissed him, and he kissed back hungrily as he wanted more.

M! Finally cums as iruma cums with him, silently screaming by how full he felt. "Feel so' full...W- want more...please?" F! reader quickly switched places and started thrusting her strap into him while M! Reader cum is oozing out of his stretched hole. As both of you fuck him, making him scream your name, there was a tied up person, trying to get out of the binds as he gets harder by the second hearing Iruma scream.

[Scream - S = cream—]

M! Reader chuckled, pointing out Iruma, who desperately struggled with the binds, "Look at who's trying to get out the binds," making F! Reader stop and look at the view. This also made Iruma whine at the loss of pleasure. "Hic, why did you stop...?" F! Reader noticed and kissed the tears away, apologizing as she continued to fuck him, making his eyes filled with lust. "Sh- so goOd! MoRe!~"

M! Reader whispered an idea to F! Reader, they turned Iruma around to evil cycle Iruma, making him watch how good you guys are fucking him. "We would've done the same if you weren't so bratty today." M! Reader started to mark iruma's neck down to his chest. Soon, Iruma came and passed out by the sheer pleasure when he came. F! Reader took Iruma to clean up.

M! Reader soon walked up to Iruma and slowly glided his finger to his chest, down to his V line, making Iruma shiver from the excitement of what M! Reader is gonna do to him. "Have you learned your lesson, brat?" He said sternly, making Iruma shook. Out of all the punishments, this was the first time he had ever heard a stern voice coming from his beloved. So this shouldn't turn him on more....it did.

F! Reader clicked her tongue, making his a chill down his spine. He trembled nervously and excitedly, "Ha, you think you can make me submit? To you? In your dreams, love"

Both of you sighed, but at the same time, both of you knew how long it took until he crumble and beg for mercy. M! Reader quickly took off Iruma pants and started stroking, while F! Reader hands were slithering up to his chest and pinching the buds.

Iruma bit his lips to refrain the noise to the point it bled. He twitched, giving a sign that he was about to climax, but suddenly, M! Reader stop. He squirmed but didn't give in...

—

"A- aUghH~! Hah, please, no more- HgNh!" He shuddered, tears overlapping the old ones, he begged, but you guys kept torturing him. He kept squirming, not knowing to get closer to the painful pleasure or further. He had another dry orgasm.

"P- leashee! I'll hah- be a good boy! Just let me cum!" He hugged F! Reader that was infront of him, hiding his face between her chest. F! And M! Reader decided to give him what he wanted. He whimpered when he felt F! Reader started to stroke his length again while M! Reader fucks his hole. They went faster with the pace, which made him become a moaning mess. His throat started hurting from all the begging and screaming.

Especially when he screamed your name—

"AhHh~! Pl- ease let me cuuUmmM!" His words started sluring. He finally got the most overwhelming climax he ever felt. His face looked absolutely destroyed as his eyes rolled, dried tears and all of that with a dumb smile as he felt M! reader finally filled his hole.

—

Later, he got cleaned and put in bed with Iruma as both of the readers slept peacefully in bed with them.

[Too bad they won't be walking the next day]

#iruma x y/n #iruma x reader #welcome to demon school iruma kun #iruma smut #setting #evil cycle iruma #iruma kun #iruma x male reader #iruma x m! reader #iruma x m reader #iruma x female reader #iruma x f! reader #iruma x f reader #various x reader #reader does not have a gender or has both/2 gender #female reader #male reader #sub character

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tomboyyyaoi · 1 year

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FUCKDUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKUFKCUFKCVUKV STANPEDEE STATURDAY THOUGHTSD I FUCKING GUESS OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKINGV GOD FUCKING TRIGUN FUCK

AAAAAAA

aaaahhAAAHHHHH

AAHH FCUKFUCKFUFUCK WHTFUCK??? FUCK

FUCK

SHIT

OH MY GOD

elendira is such a little drama queen bitch i love her, annoying little sister coded, can i get 5 more of these little blonde bitches

WE ALL FUCKING CALLED IT I WAS SUCH A PEDDLER OF THIS THEORY BUT I WASNT EXPECTING IT THIS EPISODE I REALLY LIKED HOW IT WAS DONE IM GOING NUTS A LITTLE BIT

MERYLLLL MERYL MERYL OH MY GOD the fact the derringer still has his blood on it makes it SO FUCKING GOOD her pressing the button to go back up w her red raw eyes and loading the derringer w shaky hands oh my god im going fucking nuts im obsessed

BANGER vashwood moments this ep how r u guys doin

SCARS SCARS SCARS SCARS SCARS

FUCK the fact conrad has just been using human kids as bases for clones of knives.... the extent of his experiments, absolutely fucking vicious i love how much they are pushing that he is truly a piece of shit

knives' little eye on his.. knife. epic swag begging for some more body horror

let us not forget roberto got merked by a little trans girl. i support trans rights and trans wrongs, rip bozo ill miss u

nick continuing to treat other eye of michael experiments like siblings he is their annoying big brother who they all hate♡

"wolfwood. thank you for everything" pff gay u'll see him tomorrow i bet

vashs smarmy lil wave at meryl and roberto while A) roberto was fucking dying (unbeknownst to him tbf) and B) meryl was screaming at him thru the glass not to go bc it was a trap. very vash of him.

VASH AND WOLFWOOD GETTING CAUGHT BY THE POLICE BC VASH FUCKING SNEEZED then wolfwood fucking punching him in the head for it which was the most vashwood moment ever THATS their dynamic... 2 me...

JULY LOOKS FUCKING AWESOME its like this super cool mix of steampunk and cyberpunk i really fuck w it, LOVE the culture in it too i love the idea of other cultures being alive on nomans land not just american

zazies lil "aw man. >:(" wen meryl n roberto just walked off with conrad THEY R SO PATHETIC i love them. best antagonist.

wolfwood getting the scar reveal scene instead of meryl is a little weird but oddly enough? i dont mind! ik im a stark mash head but im unbothetrd (looks like shes gnna go in to save him next ep anyway n im BUZZIN 4 that)

roberto sat FUCKING DYING in the elevator and just bein like "im 2 sober 4 this :/" bitch im gnna miss u

KNIVES SAYING HES GNNA REBUILD VASH THEN CHUCKING HIM IN A BIG PLANT VAT?????? RRRGGHEHFHFHGGRGFG GOING NUTS

we r gathered here 2day 2 mourn the loss of roberto deniro, we all knew u were gnna die, we all called it but man? u were great while we had u, bringing a certified smarmy depressed alcoholic uncle vibe to the group that was so much fun in contrast with the others, rip bozo, gnna miss u big boy

anyway fuck fuck man mother fucker fuck shit man shit fuck fuck motherfcukdf come back next week for more

#FUCK man fuck shit #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun spoilers #trigun stampede spoilers

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dallonwrites · 2 months

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lover boy - wip (re)intro

How do you navigate love after losing the person you loved the most?

I realised I don't like writing WIP intros where I just list everything super neatly + have a nice official summary so I am just going to infodump!! Lover Boy is an Adult Literary/Historical novel set in the late 1980s that follows a gay man's navigation of love, sexuality, community and grief after losing his best friend to AIDS. It's inspired by my own experiences of grief + caretaking and the dissertation I did on grief in queer AIDS narratives. It follows Beau, my beautiful special boy, and is like patchwork quilt of all of his avenues of love -- romantic, sexual, platonic, familial, communal, self -- that is stitched together with the grief from this one major loss. This is paralleled with chronological flashbacks telling the story of Bobby's illness, and how Beau took care of him.

Beau and Bobby are best friends who were platonically in love with each other, who had to adapt their relationship as Bobby got sicker and Beau became his caretaker, and in the midst of this adversity became closer than ever. Beau is a lover of love in all ways, who thinks the best holidays Halloween and Valentines Day, who loves sex but is bad at not falling in love afterwards, who has a soft heart, who also has a massive crush on George Michael. Bobby loved his life, his friends and going to the club with them, scenic hikes and swimming, his pet snake named Judas, leather and heavy metal and activism and also the Muppets (his fave was Gonzo btw). He was obsessed with volcanoes and wanted to be a volcanologist. And Beau misses him so much!!! He is trying to understand what his life is now after losing such a big part of it. He is trying to understand what kind of love he wants. He also is trying really hard not to fall back in love with his ex boyfriend who is back in the picture. And he is not really doing any of this well!!

Other features of this novel:

Gay + Autistic protagonist who doesn't know he is autistic but his special interest is horror movies and it shows (favourites are anything monstrous + full of bloodsoaked practical effects. Favourite of all time is The Lost Boys). Beau literally looks towards horror movies to try and understand grief and loss

Protagonist is a guy who actively wants to be haunted and is looking for any signs of ghosts

Lesbian + Gay + Bi + Trans + everything solidarity. An honouring of that history. Exploration on how the AIDS crisis shaped and reshaped community and identity because well, I did an entire dissertation on it and I am not putting that to waste!!! It is interesting and important!!

A narrative that is brutally honest about grief and death, and all the ways it is messy and complicated. A narrative that also doesn't always take itself seriously because sadness and joy are always holding hands

Narrative that plays around with form (video transcripts, letters, journal entries, descriptions of art) and POV (past + present tense blended together, third person present that often dips into second)

Exploration of caretaking on a community level and an intimate, one to one level. Look into how love is often all the little ways we help each other hold on.

Exploration of disability and sickness and how it shapes your identity, your relationship with yourself and others, especially when you're young (I also have a novella planned actually exploring this from Bobby's POV, but you didn't hear that from me!!!!)

The idea that grief never gets smaller, just your life grows around it

The idea that you can love your friends!!! You can be in love with them!! And that love is no "lesser" than romantic love, and it is just as beautiful and big and bright. Even when Beau navigates romantic relationships, these aren't put on a pedestal above any other type of love

A golden retriever named Atlas (Beau's own beautiful, special boy)

This is a personal project that I'm not publishing, but it means a lot to me so I will talk about it a lot!!! I've been playing around with it in its current form for about a year now and am finally making a dent in an actual first draft. My want is to share long, in depth pieces about how I navigate writing a story like this somewhere like Substack, and also all the fun of drafting it along the way. Expect infodumps and excerpts!!!

#i still dont know how tf to make a wip intro!!! posting this like ahhh so scary!#i will be honest i am not in a social media mood recently but it is literally beau's favourite day #so i don't know when i will post something for this but hopefully soon!!!#wip intro #what even are the writeblr tags these days #writeblr #amwriting #??#lover boy #there IS another wip intro for this in that tag but it is mildly outdated!!!

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imagionationstation · 7 months

Note

This is simply my characterisation of 2k12 Hamato Donatello, so feel free to add up your thoughts and opinions :]

This idea just randomly popped out in my head; how stresful it is for Donnie to be still identified as the 'babies of the clan' yet had to bear the title of an older brother. He loves his job, his rensponsibility— ofc, there's no denying that he is absolutely thrilled at being needed/wanted, but there hasn't been much talk of his family dynamic.

First off, I'd like to point out how the show treated both Mikey and Donnie like a complimentary, or an extension to the rivalry between Leonardo and Raphael. They mainly focuses on what the two eldest has going on and had the two youngest thrown into the predicament sometime later. Even so, the show clearly emphasis on how the two eldest had connections— brotherhood only one could wish to have. How if one goes down, the other immediately follow suit.

I imagine the Donnie would be so anxiety-riddled, especially after S1 and so on (or even earlier. That boy been going through some stuff). He has seen how Splinter's death absolutely shattered Leonardo, his oldest brother, who is bound to be the next head of the Hamato clan— just as he witnessed how Raphael has the tendency to drive himself to self-annihilation if anything were to happen to the oldest. He's there. He saw how Leo exhibit textbook signs of psychosis, just as he knew that Raph might as well be suicidal. He knew.

If Leo were to go down, then Raph will go down with him— and Donnie would have to pick up the mantle. He had to be there for Mikey who had, too, lost his father; and with how things are going, his two oldest brothers too. Leaving his younger brother, his only younger brother, would be cruel, no?

I wish the show would also give us content on how Leo and Raph's dynamics affect the two youngest; how many times do you think they stayed up late making sure the two oldests are still there? How do you think they cope with the loss of their father, while simultaneously having to deal with their two oldests?

Do you think that, at one point, Donnie said, "We lost our father too, not just you— and we need our oldest brothers too... I need my oldest brothers too...".

Alright, thank you~

HOLY MOTHER OF MUTATIONS

YOU CANNOT THROW THIS ON ME WHILE I’M LISTENING TO UNSAID EMILY

Silent days, mysteries and mistakes Who’d be the first to break? I guess we’re alike that way…

FREAKING SONG WHY

🤣 Yes, I am blaming you for something completely out of your control because I didn’t pause my music as I opened this. How dare you make me experience emotions and why are these brothers are SO WHOLESOME and YOU DESCRIBE THEM SO WELL LIKE HOW

“I don’t usually feel things, but this one broke through.”

This was absolutely the best thank you

I have many thoughts. Click at your own risk.

I dunno if the idea of being a “baby of the clan” would stress him out as much as the idea of being the head of the clan would. As much as I can argue that he can act as leader in times of trial as the show has proven (see New Girl In Town/Mousers Attack), he’s very much a follower. When he did try a one-man mission (see Operation Break Out), he almost ended up getting himself captured and only escaped because his team tracked him down.

I don’t see Mikey&Donnie as an extension. I see them as their own people, a separate group, their own enthusiastic team.

The reason that they don’t get the spotlight like some people seem to want is because it’s not in their personalities. They don’t have the experience or responsibility of leading/making impromptu decisions like Leo&Raph have. As older brothers in general, giving the final say and having to make the right choices in everything is something you have to learn to adapt to. Mikey&Donnie are used to being led, and that throws off their game when they have to lead themselves.

They are willing and have potential to do so, but that doesn’t mean they can (see Mousers Attack).

One of my favorite thing about the dynamic is how realistic it is. When Mikey&Donnie are worried/scared and need reassurance, they look to Raph&Leo. When something needs judgement, they look to Leo&Raph for the a-okay. When something’s gone wrong and they need an immediate solution, they look to Leo&Raph.

Oftentimes Leo makes the final call, but he’s the eldest and team leader, so it’s his right.

Leo&Raph only look to Donnie if it’s a tech/science problem. If it’s something that they are aware is out of their expertise and don’t know how to handle. Yes, it’s a hard and stressful job, but the reality is that if Donnie messes up, his older brothers will be there to pick up his slack, through fists and plans and retreats.

No eldest sibling is going to lean on the younger ones. Leo only leans on Raph as much as he does because Raph doesn’t give him a choice in the matter. He’s always there- and he’ll always be there- and that’s an unspoken promise that they’re used to. Raph is going to shove himself into Leo’s personal bubble anyway, so Leo lets him in as much as their prides will allow.

One of my favorite parts of the show is that Raph calls Leo, “brother” and Mikey and Donnie, “little brother”. Leo is not his older brother. He is simply his brother, his equal. They are on the same page, and he will not be treated as anything but his equal.

They are the protecters. They can’t lean on their “baby brothers”, so they wholeheartedly lean on each other.

I… Don’t support the psychosis as canon. I will headcanon it the same way I headcanon Leo being unable to use kitchen appliances (despite the fact he has been seen making food in the show), but I don’t see it as canon. It’s a fun idea, but not one I choose to believe.

A favorite thing about the show that I noticed is what happens after Leo gets knocked into a coma. Donnie’s struggle through multiple episodes in the first two seasons to be in charge (questions Leo’s choices, calls Leo out, fights Leo’s decisions, insists his own plans, and even runs off on his own) either softens significantly or disappears completely.

Yk why?

BECAUSE HE BLAMES HIMSELF FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE INVASION AND CARRIES THAT WEIGHT OF ‘KILLING’ HIS FATHER AND BROTHER WITH HIM FOR THREE AGONIZING MONTHS!

The way he sees it: Leo told him what they needed to do to keep everyone safe and he fought him. He got injured, Leo was in a coma, their dad was possibly dead in the sewers, their safe place, and they’d been kicked far from their only home because he insisted upon a robot that failed!

He messed up big time and that traumatized him into submission.

So imagine how terrifying it must be to realize that his family is killable. That there won’t always be a back button. That their father is gone and the chances of Splinter Jr. following his lead and doing something insane, and Raph throwing himself headfirst into the situation in the hopes of getting Leo out, and both of them getting themselves killed permanently isn’t actually all that far-fetched.

And Mikey’s not stupid. He can see the amount of times Leo’s thrown himself into trouble. He knows how far Raph is willing to go to keep Leo safe.

So, YEAH, especially since they know that Leo has no hesitations to solo missions (see Attack of Mega Shredder and Broken Foot) and Raph has a tendency to let his anger guide him towards vengeance, there are so many ways they could lose them. So many reasons that they might blink in the future and find out that it’s just the two of them now.

This would absolutely be something that haunts them at night.

For a while, at least, because I do notice that Leo isn’t quite so Lemme go *off* myself for the good of man in season five. There could be many reasons for this inside canon, but I believe that they did have a conversation about what his actions could do to them.

I believe something happens, maybe they almost lose them and Donnie gets fed up, and a much needed conversation happens.

“That is IT! I’m tired of you two! I’m not going to sit back and watch you kill yourselves! Try thinking about someone else for once! You’re not the only ones who lost him! You’re not the only ones hurting! And your lives are no more expandable than his was!”

“You never think before you act! You could have died! You both almost died! And then what?! You’re gone! You’re gone and we have to bury two more bodies next to Splinter’s! And then we have to live with that! We have to live without you! We have to fight without you! And I CAN’T DO THAT!”

“SHUT UP! You can’t possibly ‘get it’ or you wouldn’t be spending every night taunting death and expecting us to stand by and let it happen! This isn’t a game! This is real life! And NEITHER of you are ANY MORE invincible than we are!”

“I WON’T calm down because YOU’RE NOT GETTING IT! You’re not LISTENING! How would you feel if I threw myself in Kraang fire at every change I got?! Or Mikey?! Yes, Splinter’s gone! Yeah, it hurts and it sucks and maybe this just seems easier to you both because, heck, we’re all just going to die anyway so might as well choose a time and place- I AM MAKING A POINT LET ME TALK!”

“I am being COMPLETELY reasonable! How would you feel if you have to leave the lair every mission wondering if two of us will even come home? I may have wanted to lead once, but I don’t want that anymore! I don’t WANT to take your place anymore than you WANTED to take Splinter’s! Why would I want that?! Why would you make me take that?!”

“You are! Every single mission that you play chicken with death! I can’t take your place- I can’t be sensei! We need you! Maybe more than you need us because clearly you don’t care enough to stick around- but I- we- we don’t want t-to remember heroes or martyrs. We- we just want to keep our brothers. We want- we can’t- I-I can’t-”

“We need you. Why- why can’t that be enough for you to stay?”

Cause the light just keeps leaving my eyes And I don’t know where it goes But the touch from the warmth of your hand And I feel all over again

GOSH DARN IT SAVE ME

THIS PLAYLIST WILL BE MY END

I’M FEELING THINGS AGAIN

All of this is to say- I love your perspective on this. I’m so very grateful to you for sharing because this is one of those things that crosses my mind sometimes, but I don’t give enough consideration too. These new emotions and scenes in my brain are much appreciated. Thank you, anon 💞

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star2fishmeg · 11 months

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Hi!! I don’t know if you do requests anymore or not but anyway I’ll ask for one for High & low the worst. Fujio and Todoroki love triangle with reader, who alos happens to be Todorokis ex. Basically this is the main idea, maybe they have a fight or something to decide on who gets to have reader. Which happens after Todoroki sees Fujio and reader, being together and hearing people say how they fit with each-other. Thank you for your time. And obviously love your writing!!!

ᴍʀ ʙʀɪɢʜᴛsɪᴅᴇ

Pairing: Hanaoka Fujuo x f!reader, mentions of Todoroki Yosuke x ex!reader

Summary: Focusing on the wrong things in life makes people leave, and Todoroki found that out the hard way. Now he must watch his ex-girlfriend leave the gates with his rival, Fujio Hanaoka; the boy he lost to twice.

Warnings: Todoroki angst, mentions of blood, fighting, fluff

Authors note: Thank you so much for being patient, I’m sincerely sorry it took so long! And thank you for the detailed request, it helped so much with writing (writers block has been awful). This turned out to be more of a Fujio fic but writing has no limits so it’s all good. I hope you enjoy!

Authors note II: I’m kinda experimenting with the presentation of my works atm like the banners for example (especially if I want to branch out who I write for, I like the design different for each fandom) so it’s gonna look a bit inconsistent for a bit, I do apologise. I might switch to writing in 2nd person, but I’ll have to see what people think first :)

Request: above!

Romance is nothing to fear, it’s something that can make one stronger as it brings the heart someone to fight for – a purpose. It brings a sense of reality yet also this loss of senses and rose-tinted glasses. The day y/n l/n rocked up at Oya High one afternoon, flying through the halls like a hurricane all to give Yasushi one hell of a bitch slapping was the day Todoroki felt his chest tighten. Why was she so destructive? Yasushi was supposed to help her clean her garage out but he never showed. Todoroki felt smitten after that, offering up acts of service and freeing Yasushi from his unwillingly made plans (which was him being told that he was going to help y/n with something and him having no excuse to back out).

Their first date was an accidental one. Y/n had just finished patching up Todoroki’s wounds after a scuffle and they ended up watching movies her room. Both fell asleep tucked under a blanket, arms creeping around each other and legs getting tangled, waking up to smiles instead of some awkward atmosphere. Their second date ended up being sat by a river, Yosuke fishing while y/n read her book. She remembered vividly for a while; it was the first time Yosuke spoke of Fujio Hanaoka.

“Murayama thinks I don’t have what it takes to be a leader, what do you think?” he spoke, keeping his eyes on his bait.

Y/n didn’t look up either, “If you’re trying to overpower him, then I agree with him. If you’re trying to lead the full-timers exclusively, then I still agree.” She placed her book face down on the grass, pulling her knees to her chest, “Don’t take this the wrong way, you’re strong, an amazing fighter and intelligent, all good qualities but you’re not exactly charismatic. What’s brought this up?”

“There’s a guy who just transferred, his name’s Fujio Hanaoka. Everyone seems to get along with him so quickly, without force. He wants to be top dog, but he hasn’t asserted his strength. I want to know what he has that I don’t.”

“Charisma, by the sounds of it. Some people don’t have to assert their dominance to have people follow them. All they need to do is help others realise a better way of doing things.” He didn’t reply after that, just continued to fish in silence. It wasn’t much of a date, but they both enjoyed it regardless.

The third date happened later in the year, in the winter. Oya was quieter, and so was the brawling. Yosuke and y/n spent the evening at the local festival, and that was the happiest night of his life. At the time. Eleven at night, by the lake, under the stars. Silence had coated the nearby houses and only the distance music from the festival echoed. Y/n’s hands gripped Yosuke’s for the warmth, and his heart thundered in his chest at her pink cheeks. He was supposed to be strong yet there he was folding over for a girl he met a year ago who slapped Yasushi halfway across the room. He hesitated, eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips, lips to her eyes, eyes to her lips until he was being pulled roughly by his collar down. The kiss was sweet and warm, like honey, easy to melt into. It didn’t last too long, but long enough that when they pulled away, he dove back in for more. That was the most painful day of his life.

Two months ago, y/n l/n waited outside the gates of Oya Highschool, impatiently texting Yosuke Todoroki on his whereabouts and assuming he was busy. Two months ago, y/n and Yosuke sat in an outdoor cinema, talking shit about a film neither of them particularly liked nor found remotely interesting. Two months ago, Yosuke obsessed over surpassing Murayama, instead of focusing on his own life and the people who cared for him, the girl who patched him up every time he got injured. And she left him. Explained that they just weren’t going to work, their goals were too different, ideals incompatible and that he clearly cared more about a reputation and role he was never cut out for in the first place. Two months later, y/n stood outside Oya’s gate, but not for him. Never for him again. Fujio Hanaoka jogged over to her, sweeping off her feet into a bear hug with a grin. He was never late for her, he always left anything early so he wouldn’t be late. Todoroki’s jaw clenched, his breaths becoming deep.

Full-timers briefly glanced out what was left of the window, nonchalantly gossiping to one another watching their leader give his girlfriend a peck on her cheek before making his leave.

“Damn, that Fujio’s so lucky dude. I want someone to look at me the way they look at each other.”

“Y/n super chill too, ‘dunno where she was hidin’ two months ago. I spoke to her the other day, gave me tips on how to keep my hair healthy with all the bleach in it. Now it’s not yellow, in my pretty blond boy era.” Yeah, Todoroki knew all that anyway, they once dated. He knew everything all the guys talked about. He began to believe if people started admiring her just to taunt him, as if it didn’t kept him up at night enough as it was. He was no idiot, he was the strongest among the full-timers, he'd physically beaten Fujio before but time and time again Todoroki kept losing everything he desired to him; control and now a woman who could tolerate his lifestyle. He turned and stormed away, blocking out the sounds of people calling his name, through the halls and out the gate, home. Alone. His norm since she left.

Meanwhile, Fujio sat at the bar of y/n’s family pub, watching his girlfriend attend customers with hearts in his eyes and a childish grin on his lips. His chest swelled around her, always had since the day he met her, which he remembered vividly as if it were a film replaying in his head. It was a Friday afternoon, warm and bright, but y/n stood outside Oya’s gates furiously typing on her phone with tears welling in her pretty eyes. Fujio had just returned from a fight, bruised and bleeding but the pain in his face didn’t hurt as much as the aching in his chest. He sauntered in her direction, gently making his presence know, but as he had opened his mouth to speak, she looked up at him and witnessed a vase of flowers shatter at his feet. His pain was nothing compared to what her eyes were screaming at him. And that was the day the little boy in Fujio grew up and promised he’d make her smile again.

“You alright, ‘jio?” Y/n leant over the bar towards him, eyes smiling directly at him. He never expected that they’d end up like that, he just wanted to help her feel better but before he knew it, he was agreeing to date her, and he was glad she confessed because he still believed that he would’ve fumbled his confession.

He grinned, “With you here, always. Was just thinking about you, is all.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet,” she paused, “I still remember the day we met. I had just called it quits with Todoroki and you had just won a fight. Despite the pain you were in, you made the effort to make sure I felt better. You’re really kind, y’know, unconditionally. I love that about you.”

“I could take a thousand beatings, but I wouldn’t feel a thing if I could see your smile. You heal me.” Y/n flicked his forehead, rolling her eyes but smiling, nevertheless, before attending a customer. Fujio’s phone buzzed on the counter, Todoroki’s name popping up. His thumb hovered over the notification, he always assumed it was more likely that Murayama would fight him than Yosuke ever dropping him a text so casually, he wasn’t even sure how he had his number.

Courtyard, tomorrow. We need to talk.

Fujio shrugged, replying dryly because whatever he wanted was not to end peacefully, they were full-time Oya High student after all. And Fujio knew that he’d added salt to a wound (in which wasn’t really his fault). He never really understood why Todoroki hated him so much, he didn’t really do anything in his eyes, except maybe uniting the full-timers making them follow him and not Todoroki and except maybe date his ex-girlfriend. Aside that, he was nothing but friendly. Y/n walked back over, placing freshly washed glasses back onto the shelves. Oya High students were not easy to manage, but they also weren’t difficult to love either. They weren’t criminals or hooligans; they were largely a group of guys who grew up rough and came together for a place to belong away from the world. They deserved to be loved too.

“You good, hot shot?”

He closed his phone and gave a small smile, “Yeah, just Seiji.”

There are some things in life worth fighting for, worth getting injured over and worth enduring any sort of pain for. It’s a natural human response to fight for what you believe in and for what you love, why would you not? If you truly believe that there isn’t anything in life worth the energy, then you haven’t lived or been given the chance to fully embrace and consume something at full capacity. It’s natural for people to love other people, and for this love to trigger other emotions to protect it, it’s because we are scared to lose something that made us so unbelievably bliss that we’re willing to endure any kind of pain if it meant it would be safe.

Fujio’s steps were lazy when he strolled into the courtyard, hands in his pockets and shoes kicking the dirt. The moment he saw Todoroki brooding alone he had two assumptions running through his head: fight or a series of intellectual metaphors he wouldn’t be able to understand immediately. He hoped it was option one. Todoroki tensed, which wasn’t common for someone like him, but considering the topic of the matter he had every right to be on his guard.

“Yo, ‘Doroki! What’s this about?” Fujio called with a laugh, stopping an appropriate distance away.

“What do you have that I don’t?” He grumbled.

Fujio smiled, raising his eyebrows, and shaking his head, “What? Is this about being leader again-“

“No. It’s about y/n. All I hear is about how perfect you two are and frankly it’s annoying. You found her at her most vulnerable the played the hero. That’s what this is about. What do you have that I clearly don’t?” he spat. Yosuke Todoroki, seething over a girl. What an Oya thing. An unpredictable move on him.

Fujio shook his head and just laughed, practically unable to keep himself stable and wishing Tsukasa were there to enjoy it. “Why don’t you just ask her yourself? No need to be embarrassed that you got dumped, bro. Besides, I never intended to date her, some things just happen.” He pulled his hands out his pockets and balled them into a fist when Todoroki took his glasses off. Now they were getting to the best part, but also the ridiculous part. Fighting over a woman? Sounds like Oya behaviour.

Yosuke took the first lunge, in his usual manner of swinging his fist into the jaw, only to be caught by Fujio and dodged. Meanwhile y/n’s shoes slammed against the concrete up to Oya, cheeks pink and giving her best attempt at controlling her breathing. Upon seeing a notification pop up on Fujio’s location, she had sighed and thought the worst and took off to find him. He wouldn’t have dropped his location if he hadn’t wanted her to know where he was going. And she wouldn’t have dropped everything and made a break for it if she hadn’t known what that location drop meant – a petty scrap, in her eyes, but it meant he wanted collecting.

By the time she rounded the gate, chest heaving and feet sore, Fujio had received a kick nicely enough to wiggle out of it. “Fuck’s sake!” y/n groaned, loud enough for Fujio to pause, face dropping as if he’d been caught doing something unspeakable. Backing away, he placed his bloody hands in his pockets and attempted to pull one of his puppy-like faces at the woman. Todoroki – in his usual manner – scoffed, shaking his fists, and rolling his eyes, slightly stumbling before catching his balance again.

“You two have been insufferable, you know that?” y/n marched towards them, her fists balling. If there was one thing Fujio feared, it was the wrath of a woman, especially one who was let down by the guy who basically just lost to him (he liked to believe that due to Todoroki’s wobbly balance). Standing face to face with him, y/n gently picked the glasses from Todoroki’s pocket and slid them over his nose, straightening his collar. She kept her cold gaze, sighing while he pursed his lips as if he were waiting for something good to happen, like a change of heart, or a confession he’d dreamed about, one which went something like ‘I’m sorry for leaving, I still love you, Yosuke.’

But it never came, she just shook her head lightly, stepping back, “Todoroki, stop it. Leave him alone. You fucked up, take the responsibility for once, it’s why you’ll never be a leader.” She spoke softly, the disappointment laced in her words strangled his throat, stomach dropping at the confirmation that he’d truly lost to Fujio, and it was his fault. He watched her and the other boy walk out the gates and down the street, tears welling in his eyes as his mind swapped out Fujio’s figure for his, replaying the memory again as if he hadn’t thought about it every day. Another loss to Yosuke Todoroki.

H&L harem (if you wanna be tagged in future H&L content, just lemme know :D);

@straysugzhpe @airbendertendou @strxwberrychocolate @rouzuchan @yuken-gf @rinwhore @simpforchuchu

Dedicated to @straysugzhpe who gave me the energy boost to write and post this and the rest of the h&l community and their works, love and support goes out to those who had their work stolen and plagiarised <3

[Masterlist]

[Requests CLOSED]

#high&low #highandlow #high&low x reader #fujio hanaoka x reader #fujio hanaoka #high&low the worst #oya high #high and low the worst x #high&low the worst x #todoroki yosuke x reader #yosuke todoroki

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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Grief, Guilt, and Defying Death: An Analysis of the Twisted Tale of the Shroud Brothers

***Massive spoilers for chapter 6 of the main story and various vignettes!***

***Trigger warning for discussion of death and suicide.***

Losing a loved one is never easy.

Death is a concept that is pervasive in the world, regardless of culture, socioeconomic status, age, gender, race, or other factors. We all experience death in some form, but perhaps one of the most difficult kinds of death is the loss of a loved one, be it a relative, a pet, a friend, a mentor… The people we care about most pass on, leaving us behind with to deal with the aftermath and its emotional scars.

Not even fiction is free from the touch of death. Chapter 6 of Twisted Wonderland addresses grief and how one copes with it through the internal and external struggles of both Idia Shroud and Ortho Shroud.

To be clear, experiencing and reacting to grief is non-linear and different for each person. In this post, I only intend on discussing and analyzing death as it applies to the Shroud brothers.

Let’s begin and prepare a box of tissues for this.

Prior to chapter 6, I think a lot of us had inklings that something was “up” with Idia and Ortho based on implications in a few vignettes. To begin with, why is Ortho specifically a robot, not an organic being, not a “real boy”? Given that Idia is very reclusive and antisocial, it didn’t seem likely that he’d build a little brother because he was lonely, or on a whim. However, in Ortho’s Precision Gear (equivalent to the Labwear) vignettes, Idia states: “Y’know, I wonder what I was trying to accomplish by giving you so many different functions. Installing the latest medical tools in you now can’t change the past… […] I mean… I mean, it was originally me who…” This, along with our knowledge of Idia’s personality, seems to imply that he originally HAD a younger brother, but something terrible must have happened to the original; medical science was not able to save him, and Idia seems to hold himself responsible for said incident. We get even more ominous hints in Ortho’s Birthday Boy vignettes. In them, Ortho tells us that he has memories of playing with Idia when Ortho was five years of age eleven years ago. This gives us a rough idea of when the aforementioned incident occurred.

I believe that Idia holds a lot of internalized guilt over what happened. If we observe his behavior with the current Ortho, Idia seems doting but also emotionally dependent on him, as Ortho is one of the few characters that Idia doesn’t stutter with and can just “be himself” around him. Ortho, meanwhile, is extremely bright and supportive, always pushing Idia to step out of his comfort zone and make memories with him and others. The problem is that Idia is extremely closed off to other people, often preferring to hide out in his room and avoid as much social interaction as possible. He retreats to anime and video games as comfort. These appear to be hobbies that he enjoyed as a child and shared with Ortho, and in modern day, they appear to be forms of escapism for Idia to cope with the loss.

Idia has a very… unique relationship with Robo!Ortho leading up to chapter 6. I think many of us presumed (when Dead Ortho was still just a theory) that Idia was using the robot version of his brother as another coping mechanism. Then chapter 6 rolls along and Idia makes it clear that all along, he was very cognizant of the fact that Ortho is just an AI and will never be able to fully replace the original; Idia implies that he has never seen Robo!Ortho as his brother, but just a robot meant to simulate his brother. (This may explain why true Ortho has sharp teeth; a physical trait shared by the Shrouds, whereas robot Ortho has normal looking teeth; Idia, as a genius inventor, could have easily given robot Ortho sharp teeth like his own, but made the conscious decision NOT to.) To some degree, I think Idia is aware that what he’s doing is maybe not the healthiest, but he doesn’t want to outright drop it because… well, it’s hard to do that. It’s so much comfier to live in denial, in this alternate reality where his little brother hasn’t died.

But that isn’t the full story.

In chapter 6, we get Idia’s full background. It turns out that he also had a very strict upbringing like Riddle. As the eldest son to the Shroud family, Idia’s future was already decided before he was born. He was a child genius that easily excelled in his studies, but disliked that he didn’t have the freedom to choose his future career. Young Idia also expresses sentiments that are the total opposite of present day Idia: as a child, he wished to go outside of his home, outside of STYX facilities, and go on adventures in the world. He wished to be a hero, just like the protagonist of Star Rogue, his favorite video game. The original Ortho convinced Idia they should go on an adventure together, so Idia goes and backs into security to make it easier for them to escape. Unfortunately, a Phantom escaped when the security system was compromised, and it was this Phantom that killed Ortho.

“Give me Ortho back. Every part of Ortho… Return his body, his personality, his memories, his everything!!” It’s devastating and confusing for such a young child to experience the death of a sibling. Idia is, naturally, in shock and denial. He blames himself for the accident; he was the one who wanted to go on an adventure. How can he be called a genius if he can’t do something as basic as protecting his own brother? How can he ever be a hero? If he had been born into a normal family, could he and Ortho have led normal lives? With friends, with each other? Adventuring the world together? Could he have been a real hero to Ortho?

This guilt powers Idia through the next 2+ years. In this stretch of time, STYX researchers remark that he has not left his room, only occasionally asking for magical parts. He has shut people out of his heart after losing Ortho, which includes physically keeping away from people and even later turning down multiple lucrative job and internship offers. Keep in mind that Idia is just barely a teenager at this point in time, and has been left basically ALONE to suffer with his own grief. He’s just been stewing in those complicated feelings, left to fend for himself (on TOP of, presumably, continuing his training to succeed the Shroud family one day). That is so much stress on a kid, and he was likely not given the time or the space to properly cope and come to terms with what happened.

The fact that Idia’s parents aren’t mentioned at all in the flashback gives me the impression that the Shroud parents are either very busy with their own work or very “hands off” in their parenting approach. They’re barely mentioned, even in modern day, they don’t seem to directly communicate with Idia often (he says he was surprised to see them in person), and they mainly seemed to have reached out to their son concerning work. Idia himself states that, “Prioritizing results over their son’s feelings sounds like my parents, alright…” This lends credence to the former option. As for the latter, it’s very possible that perhaps Idia’s parents decided to cope with the loss of their younger son by bottling up their emotions, never discussing the matter, and hoping that it would just go away. Everyone deals with death differently, so if this is what the Shroud parents did, I don’t blame them for doing so… It just maybe wasn’t the best option, considering that they had a surviving son that was still dealing with the trauma and NEEDED their support to get through that difficult period.

When Idia finally completes Robo!Ortho (who was still extremely robotic and not human-like at all) and shows him off to the STYX staff, who react in an appalled manner. They tell Idia that what he is doing is wrong, that it’s an affront, that it’s taboo–and Idia lashes out and defends the Ortho that he built, bragging about how this new Ortho cannot be easily hurt or lost, how this new Ortho can someday go to space one day (which does end up happening in the event Wish Upon a Star). He soon devolves from laughter into crying, and it becomes clear what he’s doing. He’s not only defending his “perfect” creation to the STYX researchers, but he’s also trying to convince himself that this Ortho can fill the void left by the original. It’s reinforced by his constant mentions of the improved features of this Ortho, and how the same mistake won’t happen again. Not this time. Now, Ortho is strong enough to stop anything. In that moment, Idia was still very much dealing with the consequences of his loss.

Over time, Robo!Ortho learned more about the world and how to better simulate human emotions using his advanced artificial intelligence. Even then, it seems that Robo!Ortho was aware of his purpose as a “substitute” to help Idia cope, as he doesn’t seem shocked when Idia remarks in chapter 6 that Ortho is “just an AI”. He, however, becomes inspired to act on his own and free Idia not only of the future he has been assigned, but also of his self-imposed guilt. It’s unclear if this is because Ortho is acting like how the original would, or if this is because his AI has just advanced to the point of granting Robo!Ortho a consciousness outside of his programming, but I choose to believe the latter, as Ortho refuses to turn back on his decisions after Idia confronts him about them. (The other characters also remark that Ortho seems “different” after rebelling against his programming, specifically citing that he “acts like Idia”, which may imply Ortho and the OG!Ortho have merged.)

All of Idia’s guilt eventually culminates in his Overblot, which is spurred on by Ortho, who thinks that this route will make Idia a “hero” (that can make many friends by saving people from Phantoms). If you reference the Ignihyde PV (English subtitled version can be found here!), you can see Idia being consumed by what is presumably his blot. Strangely, his expression seems fearful at first, but then changes into THIS:

That’s not fear anymore, that’s a look of resignation.

It’s almost as though Idia knew this was coming sooner or later, and has accepted his fate, finally embracing his own guilt, his dead brother, and the weight of his family’s responsibilities and his role in it… and willingly Overblotted. Idia’s OB form interestingly resembles the Ortho that he built, and his own Phantom IS Ortho, the anchor and the shadow that looms over his shoulder. And what do Phantoms do? They use their host like a magic battery until the host is dead. If that’s not enough proof that Idia’s own guilt has literally consumed him, then I don’t know what is.

When you fight OB Idia, there’s a few details that are very… interesting. Note that you use spears that generate lightning (aka the TWST equivalent of Zeus’s thunderbolts) to attack him. If you look at Ortho’s official in-game profile, his pet peeve is lightning. You are literally attacking an already dead child with something they dislike, and may even be fearful of. How does Idia react when you attack him? He always checks to make sure that ORTHO is okay first, and THEN he proceeds to get angry with you. Idia is placing the safety and the wellbeing of his brother above everything else, including himself. The other OBs we’ve seen so far have mainly been attacking in a blind rage, but Idia retains enough self-awareness to care for and to defend his brother, even when his own emotions and mental stability are spiraling out of control, even when he’s screaming about how he’ll finally be “free”–free of the shackles of the Shroud family, and free of the guilt that’s constantly eating at him.

After OB Idia is finally defeated, we not only get his backstory, but Idia gets to speak with his brother one last time. Now, here is where it gets… somehow even more morbid. I’m aware that Yana/the devs can’t say certain things or touch certain topics because Big Brother Michard Mouse is trying to keep its clean image, but during the conversation between Idia and Ortho in the white void… I distinctly got suicidal vibes. Think about it: aside from Idia already demonstrating some of the common behaviors related to suicidal ideation (closing himself off from others, feeling great shame, hopelessness, anxiety, or the general feeling of being trapped/being a burden), Idia researches blot, so he is well aware of the consequences of Overblotting, yet when he finally did Overblot, he didn’t seem to resist or to fight it. In his Overblot state, Idia even gleefully talks about Overblot like it’s some great thing (how exhilarating it feels, all his power, etc.) when very clearly it isn’t. Then, when he dives after Ortho, he KNOWS they’ll be falling into Tartarus, which drains the life force of living beings, while dropping the ominous line “This time, I’m not going to leave you.” When Idia speaks with Ortho for the final time, there’s several more suspicious lines like Ortho (remember, DEAD Ortho) telling Idia “you shouldn’t come yet” and Idia responding with “I will go with you; we made a promise to each other.”

Idia follows up by cursing out the world and implying it is not worth staying in, and that he hates it. Despite this, Ortho reassures him that they will be together again “someday”, but that day is “not now”; which implies that Idia had every intention to end his life early just to be with his brother again. Ortho reminds Idia that there are many things to live for, and that Idia shouldn’t give up so easily anymore.

There is a future for him. There is a reason to keep living to see tomorrow. It won’t be easy, but it’s possible, even if it’s 0.001%. The chance is there, he only needs to seize it for himself. Idia can go from zero to hero, just as Vil said he could.

Before Ortho’s soul departs, he gives his final words.

“It’s okay. I’ll be with you forever, so don’t give up.”

Ortho is saying that even if he is no longer physically here, he will continue to live on in his brother’s memories. In this way, he will always be “with” Idia, cheering him on in his endeavors. Idia will never be truly alone anymore.

He is free from the past, and he can make his own future, just as Vil said he could. “Reality is harsh and it doesn’t always end with a ‘happily ever after’… but that doesn’t mean that you can’t try to change your future.”

That freedom extends to Ortho as well–Idia rebuilds Robo!Ortho with his memory card that now allows for free will. With that memory card, Ortho becomes “whole” and gains “heart”, encompassing both the original and the robot. Like Pinocchio, he becomes a “real” boy and then formally enrolls as a new first-year student of NRC. Idia declares that Ortho is now free to be his own person. Something to note is that Idia initially made Robo!Ortho in the image of the Ortho he lost; this explains Robo!Ortho’s childish appearance and the manner of speech that he adopts. Idia never got to know what kind of a person his brother would become, because his life stopped so short. He’s disillusioned and wants to retain the “best” parts of the Ortho he remembered from childhood, which is why I think he kept Robo!Ortho in a child-like body, rather than continuously “age” him with new gears as they grew up together.

In setting Robo!Ortho “free”, the effect is twofold. Idia is finally moving on from the childhood Ortho he fixated on. Meanwhile, Robo!Ortho can finally be his own person, using his AI to develop his own identity rather than constantly be nothing but a support system pretending to be another person. (A nice detail is that Ortho ends up deciding to join Film Club, which may be a reference to him first learning how to emulate human emotions by watching movies, which we learned in his Birthday Boy card vignettes. After all, what is acting if not resonating with the audience’s hearts? As a robot, Ortho wants to explore if he can do such a thing.)

Idia accepts Robo!Ortho as his brother while making peace with OG!Ortho and his passing. He doesn’t need to cling to the past anymore.

He’s slowly acclimating to coming out of his shell again. He’s making new friends, even if it’s difficult to do. He’s growing, just like Ortho is.

That is chapter 6: a tale of love, loss, and a brotherly bond that transcends time and death.

And with that, I will end this post on an insightful quote from a movie with a certain blue alien–a quote that I think summarizes chapter 6 and the tears it has brought us very well: “Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Thank you for reading.

#Ortho Shroud #Idia Shroud #Ignihyde #twst analysis #twst character analysis #twisted wonderland analysis #twisted wonderland character analysis #spoilers #notes from the writing raven #MAN OH MAN CHAPTER 6 WAS SO GOOD #I WAS CRYING SO MANY SILENT UGLY TEARS #tw // depression #tw // suicide #tw // suicidal ideation #tw // death

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vergilbergart · 2 years

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- Maybe it’s like you said. Maybe there is something out there that explains why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always ... always ... want to be here with you.

- So what? You’re just gonna ignore everything else? You could be anything, anywhere. Why not go somewhere where your ... where your grandson is more than just ... this?

Everything Everywhere All At Once x One Piece AU

more thoughts under the cut < 3 (includes more explicit spoilers about the movie btw)

I have so many feelings about Garp and Ace’s relationship .... it made me think of parallels between them + Evelyn and Joy in EEAAO

The AU doesn’t follow the movie exactly but Ace become Jobu Topaki-esque because in his universe (the Alphaverse), Luffy actually dies at Marineford instead and that’s what splits his mind across the multiverse. Ace blames both himself and Garp for Luffy’s death, and upon learning about the existence of other universes + giving into his subsequently amplified self-hate, trauma, and nihilism, he starts reaching out to other multiverses to keep himself and Garp away from Luffy out of a deeply misguided desire to protect him.

But much like EEAAO, the reality is that Ace is searching for a Garp in the multiverse that understands his feelings self-hatred and pain and anguish and loss. Removing himself and Garp from Luffy’s life is ultimately secondary to this.

Luffy actually kind of turns out to be the Waymond of this. He is the one, out of his bright optimism and ways he finds happiness in the small things, who shows Garp (and eventually Ace), that there is a life worth living out in the world and there's hope and love out there for them too.

Sabo's also here but he fits multiple roles. Him in the Alphaverse is close to Alphaverse Gong Gong (seeing it necessary to remove/kill Ace for the sake of the multiverse's stability, and so the Everything Bagel doesn't consume everything), but him within the Protagonistverse fills in the role of Waymond as well. Not as much as Luffy, but he does want to save Ace in the Protagonistverse rather than kill him.

The Protagonistverse version (so the version we follow) of Garp, I like to imagine, quit the Marines to raise Ace and Luffy on Dawn, and ofc Sabo showed up along the way. But the sort of Gong Gong-esque force that drives him is the sort of concept of him questioning if it was the right decision to leave the Marines behind and if the Marines ever was actually a good choice in the first place considering how they acted when he decide to retire (also the whole thing of him taking in Ace + having to hide it from them), and him still sort of enforcing his idea of Luffy + Ace (and maybe Sabo idk) becoming Marines, even though he himself isn't one. Because he has an actual presence in Luffy and Ace's lives rather than just Makino or Dadan or even Shanks, they don't actually ever like, leave to become pirates, but they're not Marines either - they're sort of just civilians, which lends itself to a lot of the mundanity + boredom that Ace and Luffy and Sabo experience. But this also makes Ace stew in his feelings of being undeserving of love and his feelings of being a disappointment more since he doesn't meet Whitebeard. Garp, as much as he loves his grandbabies, is an imperfect guardian - his expectations for the boys (either become a Marine or lead a civilian life) do not help Ace at all and it creates conflict between them since they don’t see eye to eye on anything ):

I’m still trying to figure out Protagonistverse Garp’s entire deal so if this point conflicts with the previous one then Oops but like ... he’s dealing with the boys growing up (they’d be the ages they’d be pre-timeskip, so Sabo and Ace are 20 and Luffy’s 17), their desire for independence while simultaneously wanting to stay close with him bc that’s their grandpa yknow?? He’s also still hiding Ace from the Marines (you could even say he’s hiding Luffy from them bc of Dragon, and he’s hiding Sabo from his parents in Goa too) so the idea of them going off on their own could be so terrifying to him. There’s also the matter of him feeling disappointed in himself for not being as good a grandfather as he could’ve been - wondering if he’d raised the boys well - and even like ... the Marine side of things potentially being disappointed or angry at him for trying to raise these boys only for them to become pirates. And kind of like how Evelyn questions her decision to leave her family to be with Waymond, Garp questions his decision to leave the Marines to raise Luffy and Ace and Sabo ..... THERES LAYERS, OKAY.

I’m not sure who the Deirdre of this would be either. I am imagining Sengoku though but the lead up to him showing up in Garp’s life again considering my ideas is up in the air right now. Part of me thinks he’s showing up at Dawn as a half-favor and half-last ditch attempt to get the ASL bros to join the Marines. Like, Sengoku is just generally grumpier than Garp and the idea of the two of them ending up together in other universes is so intriguing to me ... also the exchange in the movie of like “it’s unlovable bitches like us who make the world go ‘round” and then the “you’re not unlovable! there’s always something to love!” ..... but with Garp and Sengoku ..... yeahhhhh. Maybe in this case it’s not a divorce tht leads Sengoku to believe that, but instead its a wedge was driven between him and Rosinante bc he’s putting his Marine duties before his family like Garp had been doing........ hmmmmmm!!!!

I have more thoughts about this AU but this is all I’m gonna write under this lol. I might actually write a fic of this heehee we’ll see! ur free to like, send asks about stuff btw im down to answer any. 🤷

#one piece #op fanart #portgas d ace #monkey d garp #need u all to know tht it took me 3 days to make All of these #i havent painted digitally in forever but i managed to pump these all out! 💪 im insane!#anyways i watched this movie for the like. 8th time this month LMAO.#of course ik tht a lot of the message of the movie is lost upon making this AU but w my hcs .... it worked rlly well idk #one piece at its core is about love i think. so it just sorta fit. this is just for fun too so yknow ❤️

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thecatslug · 1 year

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Ravenloft DM Musing*:

The Von Zarovich family probably suffered from a cocktail of personality, mood, and psychotic disorders.

Strahd’s meltdown™️ has the characteristics of a major depressive psychotic episode, possibly brought on from the overwhelming strain of both running the country and grappling with the death of his parents! In lore it was very sudden and tragic, and would have left Strahd to finally grapple with a LOT of childhood trauma that he’d never fully be able to resolve now that his parents were dead.

But psychotic and mood disorders don’t usually exist in a vacuum! There is usually a very strong hereditary component, meaning Strahd likely inherited the predisposition and risk factors from a close family member! A close family member like, say, his mother Ravenia. Though there’s little to no concrete lore standing for this headcannon, I personally run with the idea that Ravenia suffered from bipolar II and was possibly rather low functioning at that. The major, crippling depressive episodes that come with the disorder would have given her ample time to ruminate over the loss of her son Strahd (and possibly Strum) to the military. Barov most likely bullied her into enlisting the boys (because let’s face it, no mother willingly puts their kid in the military at age seven) and when Sergei came along, she had over a decade of depression fuelled regret put in to her relationship with the youngest Von Zarovich. It would explain why he was treated so differently, why he was so unusually pampered. Ravenia had reached her breaking point, and somehow managed to put her foot down and protect Sergei, at the expense of far overdoing his upbringing. If you want to run further with this (as I have) I headcannon that Strum likely suffered from a more mild case of bipolar II which he passed down the family line. This generic predisposition eventually led to lovely Lyssa Von Zarovich who I personally feel has a lovely little cocktail of a psychotic and mood disorder (Schizoaffective disorder) but that’s just my take on things, and is mostly due to how delusional and parabolic her mental stability seems to be.

Which brings us to Barov, my behated. Barov was a domineering, withholding, callous, and likely abusive man (he put his seven year old into the military, kids. That’s abusive even by irl medieval standards). Judging by what I can glean of his behaviour from Strahd’s HEAVILY biased little emo biography, I wouldn’t be surprised if Barov either had personality disordered tendencies, if not full blown Antisocial Personality Disorder (Psychopathic subtype). And oh look at that, personality disorders have hereditary components. To be clear, do I think Strahd has ASPD? No. He’s got some seriously unhealthy behaviours, but he’s not consistently disordered. It’s very circumstantial and I wouldn’t say he fits the full criteria of ASPD or Narcissistic personality disorder. I think he’s a very sick little man whose been warped by trauma and ya know- messing with the dark powers. HOEVER I do think he’s got some hereditary tendencies towards psychopathic behaviour. He’s eerily good at compartmentalizing emotions and has a much higher threshold for empathetic responses.

In summation- Strahd himself is a cocktail of an abusive past (I might do a bigger post on my reasoning for that later) and a really shitty genetic background. Villains aren’t born, they’re made. And unfortunately Strahd (IMO) had the deck stacked against him, at the very least when it comes to mental health. Thank you, if you read this far! Let me know your takes in the comments!

(*Disclaimer: I’m not a professional psychologist, but I will be in 2 years! I also suffer from several of the aforementioned brain issues, so it stood out to me when some NPC experiences were eerily familiar! These are just my takes on how I run these NPCs and interpret their past!!! Feel free to steal or disagree, fellow DMs)

#DM Musings #NPC Analysis #ravenloft #strahd von zarovich #curse of strahd #barovia #dnd #dnd npc #strahd #dungeon master #ravenloft2e #Ravenia Von Zarovich #barov von zarovich #strum Von zarovich

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keykeep · 1 year

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You’re Not Him - George Weasley

Authors note:Apologises for not uploading for ages. Life has been hectic.I had a shit night so imma make everyone sad with me. This song is called she’s not him by Miley Cyrus in bold.

I want to start by saying thank you, i’m going to miss you hunny

The tears run down your cheeks and your hands clutch onto his sweater you’re wearing, the smell lingers and you know it will start smelling less and less of him, you don’t care that your makeup is running all you care about is how the love of your life is in a wooden box while you’re alive.

You gave me things you can’t buy back with money. You changed my life. You’ve been my world

The experiences you and Fred had were priceless.

The pranks, the date nights, family gatherings.

You’d even settle for another argument with him just to have him here.. with you.

There’s no other guy that looks like you darling . Those eyes, that tongue,those teeth, that body

Fred grew up a twin brother and although they were difficult to tell apart. You look across to George who is now a broken shell of a man. His eyes are lifeless weighed down by the heavy bags under them.

You spent countless hours counting every freckle on Fred’s face as he slept beside you, when his eyes fluttered open and the morning sun caught them and make them sparkle. You had that colour etched into your memory.

Even though we’ve gone to outer space.

Still no one can take his place.

Your not him.

No matter what you say,

No matter what you do

Every day you see George at the Burrow, you and Ron try to convince George to go to work at the joke shop. You both talk his ear off with new ideas but he never talks and you suspect he never listened. Every day you know it’s pointless to keep trying but every day you hope that he will let you in. You know deep inside, you could never fill Fred’s shoes.

I just can’t fall in love with you cause your not him

After Fred’s death you wondered if you could fall for his twin but it was impossible. He was too good and innocent for you. You missed Fred’s mischievous side.

Sneaking into your dormitory or Sneaking you into his room. Sneaking out of detention or sneaking kisses in class.

His ability to flirt and make your knees go weak when he gave you the look.

And maybe it’s beyond my control, some sort of chemical reaction.

Making it impossible to let him go.

Losing a family member is hard, you’ve had the experience first hand but when you lose the other half of yourself, no more twin telepathy, no more inside jokes.

As much as George knew his family was grieving no one could understand his loss when he looks in the mirror and hates what he sees.

You deserve a heart much bigger than one that’s torn in two

You know that one day your heart will heal but looking over at George. You knew his heart would forever be fractured for the scars of his best friend will remain. Fred was so young but George didn’t deserve his heart torn apart.

Every time you walk through my door.

I swear to god you’re more beautiful than before.

But your not him.

As time passed and you watched as George came alive again. The colour returning to his cheeks a less tired hilarious boy emerged and as he grew older you watched him blossom into a confident man, you weren’t surprised he got married or had kids.

But nothing would ever replace the love of your life.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter #george weasley #gender neutral reader #fred weasley #fred and george #fred gideon weasley #hp fanfiction #fred weasley angst #george weasley angst #song fic #oneshot

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igotsnothing · 3 months

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hey, butterfingers! you dropped this... oh? you didn't? details, schmetails 😏

break - Lawrence desire - Sabine failure - Jairo guilt - Henry hide - Sasha nightmare - Nia please 😇

You sly, sly...

Also important to note: you're the best! I mean, you're asking about my pixel children- is there a greater kindness for an obsessive storyteller???

Ok: STORYTIME

Lawrence- break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

The older the vampire, the quirkier- but here's the thing: when it comes to keeping their existential shit together, they do it very well. They've dealt with lifetimes of loss and crap, so they have it DOWN. They'll flip over little stupid stuff but are very good at navigating the life-and-death scenarios. HOWEVER! Being in a relationship with Julian has made Lawrence feel emotions he'd not dealt with for a very long time. He's very aware of his attachment to Julian. He's acutely aware that he's in love with someone mortal and he worries about something bad happening to Julian. The anguish is fierce. Julian has seen Lawrence break down over this and it's heartbreaking. The compromise they reached is that Julian carries a protective amulet with him at all times and they've agreed to revisit the idea of Lawrence turning him or his starting to take a longevity elixir in a couple years.

Sabine-desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Sabine's desire has always been- without spoiling much- to be independent. She's in a bit of a bind right now and fighting to stand on her own two feet (more to be revealed- plot, not feet...). She thinks of herself as a no-nonsense person and tends to be practical and pragmatic. Working for Hiram has opened her eyes to new experiences and awakened her curiosity. Would she admit that she is experiencing new emotions? That she finds her mind wandering when it comes to Hiram? No. Never. It'll pass, she tells herself.

Jairo-failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

HAHAH! JAIROOOO! Jairo is the kind of person who would try to bake a cake, it would fall apart, and then he would simply serve it as "cake crumble" or something as half-assed and somehow it would be great. If you asked him, he'd tell you that his greatest failure was that he did not manage to convince Mr. Lam to turn Erato Bookstore into a bookstore/petting zoo/crepe cafe.

Everyone else will tell you that Jairo consistently fails at READING THE ROOM.

Henry-guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Henry is honest and straightforward. He's good at articulating his feelings and doesn't usually hold things in. Since his and Lee's move to Tomarang, Henry realized that he did not notice how upset Lee was about uprooting them from San Sequoia, where they had a good life with lots of friends. He thought that because Lee was moving back to Tomarang, and near his family, there would be no qualms. Instead, Lee, who is extremely sensitive, felt insecure and mortified that maybe he'd acted selfishly in wanting to move. Henry felt terrible- and guilty that he hadn't seen the breakdown coming- when Lee opened up about his fears. He accepted the guilt and saw in it a lesson that helped him communicate better with his husband.

Sasha-hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

Oh, Sasha... Where do we BEGIN? This boy could be a case study. But...He hides his heart. It's been hurt and broken so much that he has perma-paywalled it more fiercely than some asshole content creators. He can't afford anything to be vulnerable and has rationalized his abrasiveness as a means to survive.

Nia-nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

AAAAAH!!! You remembered NIA!! I love Nia so much! I need to get cracking on Bite Me! so she and Sam can show up more (because they do). Ok, so Nia has been terrified of scary or sad clowns since she was a little kid. Ask Sam about the time they went to SpookyTown on Halloween: Nia screamed more than a D-list actress in a low-budget slasher film anytime a scary clown snuck up on them (but she claimed she was still having fun- go figure). If Nia hasn't been getting enough sleep OR if she overindulges in spicy food late at night, the probability of a clown nightmare skyrockets, and Sam knows they'll be consoling her and rubbing her back later. All their friends know about this because Nia will share the nightmares' outlandish plots with them in these mini-impromptu analytical sessions (Julian especially loves to offer his interpretation of the symbolism behind the imagery, and he and Nia feel oh-so-insightful and smart afterward, while Sam shakes their head in bewilderment)..

#answered asks #greighish #i loved doing this #bite me!#lawrence saint-germain #nia and sam #tact #sabine fletcher #tomarani adventure #henry tan-mcgraw #darker #sasha #thank youuuuu #❤️

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