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#bruh my brain aching

supercriminalbean · 1 year

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Went to the biggest mall of my country today. Honstely, it's not that big. I'm pretty sure the one I went to yesterday was bigger. Anywayyyy. I saw a shop called David Reid and I couldn't stop laughing 😂😂 my babies.

#criminal minds #criminal minds ships #david rossi #spencer reid #david reid #bruh my brain aching

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peachy-dove · 8 months

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LA!Buggy x Fem!Chubby! Reader x LA! Alvida Headcanons/Drabble

CW:MDNI 18+!!!! Oral (female receiving),teasing, sub! Buggy, Dom! Reader and Alvida, Scissoring, spit, vaginal penetration, cowgirl, face sitting, fingering, barely proof read

A/N: I've been thinking of a buggy and Alvida threesome for so long but Alvida’s Actress is sooo fine bruh, I had to write this because Buggy deserves two plus size baddies bouncing on his lap!! I practically wrote a fic but in headcanon form but this way helps my brain figure out what I wrote. Just think about buggy and his two chubby girlfriends who never fail to make him feel loved and his dick hard!

NSFW BEOW THE CUT!!

→ Imagine Buggy tied down to a chair nearby watching his too pretty girls playing with each other, putting on a show for him to enjoy

→ His cock hard and throbbing as you suck and lick at Alvida’s slick fat pussy and playing with your own, as you’re bent over full cunt on display as you moan and plunge your fingers in deeper and faster.

→ “come on, dolls! Won’t you let your favorite clown come play too?” he says in a light whimper, the restriction of his pants becoming unbearable, all he wanted to do was fuck you fro behind as you ate out Alvida, her plump thighs wrapped around your head

→ you pull back from her cunt and kiss her deeply as your tongues sloppily kiss, the room hot with passion and lust as the two of you drown out buggy’s pleas for release.

→ You both switch positions and Alvida gets on top of you, rubbing her puffy cute cunt on yours, the wet sounds of pleasure echoing off the rooms walls as she grinds down onto you.

→ “Please vida baby~ fuck me!” you cry out as she leans down to lick and suck on your neck claiming you as hers. She runs her tongue up your neck and moans as well.

→ “open your fucking mouth~” she growls out at you placing her thumb on your bottom lip and forcing your mouth open wider, she spit on your tongue and your eyes roll back with pleasure.

→ Buggy was in heaven as he watched her spit in your mouth, both of your pussies making beautiful music together, your chubby tummy and tits pressed together as you both practically eye-fuck each other completely ignoring him the sight was intoxicating

→ You start to grind faster against her bedding in closer to suck on her nipple as she throws her head back moaning your name

→ the climax you two shared made you both starstruck gushing all over the sheets and each other finally sharing a loving kiss before you get up and walk over to buggy

→ “mmm~ i think it’s time we let our cute jester have a turn hmm my dear?” you say running your finger down his chest

→”finally! I was dying of blue balls over here!”

“Shut it clown!” Alvida says as she walks over to him and helps you untie him, “I think I like you better quiet, we’ll find a better way to use that mouth of yours~”

→ as they strip him down they push him onto the bed, your plump thighs and hips plopping down on him as he grabs onto your fluffy tummy

→ you start to move you pussy along his dick wetting him up for you and making him groan out trying to buck hips hips into you

→ “holy fuck- just put me inside babe! I’m aching for your fucking pussy right now!” Buggy moans out his makeup running down his face

→he quickly gets shut up by Alvida sitting her plump ass on his face, pussy silencing him as she moans while he licks a stripe from her hole to clit suckingling on it as you finally put his cock inside you and ride him nice and hard

→ Alvida moans places her hands on your hip and kisses you gently pulling you closer to her as Buggy ate her out from below

→ You bounce and moan into her mouth as you both hold onto each other, Buggy’s cock filling you out and bullying your cervix

→ Buggy wraps his arms around Alvida’s thighs and eats her like a starved man, her juicy pussy dripping down his mouth as he tongue fucks her, feeling her walls start to clench around his tongue and your bounces making him lose his mind as he feels your ass clapping down on him he wasn’t going to last much longer

→ “that’s it fuck me good baby boy” She says as she grows quicker to her orgasm . Her breath quickens and she clenches her thighs around his face squirting as he moans into her fat cunt.

→ She climbs off of his face and kiss his softly “told you i’d find a use for that tongue~” she says as she moves behind you and rubs your clit “go ahead and cum for me baby”

→ you start to ride Buggy harder and faster, your thighs jiggling as he grabs your plush tummy and fucks you from below, the pleasure overwhelming you as you hold on tightly to alvida’s arms

→ “F-FUCK!” You yell out as you finally cum around Buggy’s thick cock, your gummy walls squeezing him rapidly his dick soaked in your juices

→ He couldn’t take it anymore and his cum flooded your pussy, filling you up to the brim as it leaves a white ring around his dick as he rides out both of your orgasms.

→ You slowly pull away from him as alvida helps you lay down on the right of buggy and she lys down on the left, reaching over his chest to take your hand and kiss it

→ She wraps her thigh up onto buggy as you curl in on him as well, she kisses his cheek as he catches his breath

→ “Well we definitely need to do THAT again” he laughs as he holds you both in his arms, he is more comfortable than he has been in years and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #one piece smut #buggy x reader #op alvida #op buggy #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #buggy <3 #alvida <3 #iron mace alvida #alvida x reader #iron mace alvida x reader #x chubby reader #one piece x chubby reader #one piece headcanons #peachh works💗🍑

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q1ngqve · 3 months

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Hey, its ✒️ again! I'm glad you enjoyed reading my brainrots ahdvjdnidbd. Now I'm back on my brain rots about the same reader from my previous brainrots isjdjnd;

how do you think Dan Heng and Jing Yuan would (star) rail (aornjdidhidbd sorry I couldn't resist) the insecurities out of anxious!reader???

Honestly I'd imagine them being really methodical and break reader down with bodyworship and praise absibdjdb even one of them holding readers hands down so they can see and hear readers sweet noises as they ABSOLUTELY RUIN THEM.

I think they'd get even more turned on by watching reader trying not to lose themselves in their touches as reader protests everything the two say and it backfires for reader. Immensely. Makes the two more determined to taste their well earned prize.

Them taking turns eatting reader out? Both fingeirng reader with Dan Hengs fingers are deep in reader while Jing yuan is rubbing circles om the outside? Then both taking turns railing reader?

Competing and yet working together on their common goal of ruining reader? Holy shit. These two would be insatiable, especially after their game of cats-and-mouse.

Even after railing reader to an inch of their life, I'd think Dan Heng and Jing Yuan would be the KINGS of Aftercare. A bath? Food? Dan heng using cloudhym magic to aid in the aches? (Healing for comfort but leaving the marks in places) Anything for you darling~. Be careful, you might go for another round if you tease them too much.

Bruh imagine waking up the next day sandwiched between the two with a new bracelet instead of the usual two? One with a teal dragon and lion charms and a mix of beads from readers old bracelets? (What happened to the rest of the beads?? Ittle come back later)

Mutual claim???? Ayooooo??? As if the bite marks weren't enough. Apparently not because they want "pesky flies" to stay away. 🙄 These two are soo pleased with themselves too ajdbidn (Jing Yuan more smug, while Dan Hengs tail wraps around reader's leg, giving him away)

If reader isn't able to walk? Guess you'll be escorted (aka carried and guarded heavily) by two verry protective lovers to Jing Yuans abode for those two to continue their spoiling with affection (and aftercare), practically swathed in the nicest of fabrics and the gentlest of kisses and cuddles as overdue conversations involving their relationship occur. (Dw reader aquires very loving and protective partners ifbjdnmd)

(Extra bonus: if the two have strings of beads made up of the old bracelets incorperated into their outfits as well ever since. If asked about it, although they may not give a verbal anwser, the soft look they give to the beads tells people everything that they need)

aidnidbdidb sorry if it's long again, 😅 I needed to get these out of my head akbdidbjdbdh anyway I hope you have a good one akbdjdbhd

i … i literally have nothing else to add 😵‍💫 this is perfect hehe reader has scary dog privileges and i want that too

#your brainrots are always a whole universe anon 😭#it’s so interesting to read and think about hehe #✒️ anon!!!!!

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sweetest-florida-blue-peach · 1 year

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Southern Roots Series:

Song: Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That

Artist: Dolly Parton

Characters for Scenario: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

{{And before y'all come at me with your pitchforks and torches, HE IS AGED UP, so stop clutching your pearls and quit looking at me like I scandalized a nun}}

Warnings: None that I can think of other than Bakugou's usual potty mouth. Part of the scenario takes place in a bar, so there are mentions of alcohol and drinking, and cigarettes. Not sure if any of these are relevant for a warning, but I'm adding them just in case. Oh, and breakup angst, because, why not?

Notes: Tried to keep the reader GN. Concept is almost entirely from Reader’s perspective, so lots of usage of the pronoun ‘you’. Bartender calls Reader “sugar, hon, darlin’,” etc. Bartender is ‘she/her’. {Bartender is my self-insert, and no, this post was not intended to be all about her, but she is integral to the underlying story}. Uses they/them pronouns when discussing Reader. If I slipped up anywhere, politely tell me, and I’ll go back and edit.

Word Count: Bruh, I ain't got the mental capacity to count right now 🤣😭

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★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

For @trashpotatoess.

Sloane, my love, my darlin', my dearest, my wonderful friend--I am so, so, SO sorry for the lateness of this, and doubly sorry if it’s absolute garbage, but I sincerely hope you enjoy your requested scenario. 💙

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

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Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your cowboy boots and your painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream. Why'd you come in here looking like that?

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The bass of whatever song is croaking through the speakers is doing nothing to help the ache that’s been building up in your head for the last few days. Between that and the seemingly never-ending hangover, your brain was constantly pounding against your skull.

It’s been three months. Three months of tears, anger, denial, depression, alcohol, and mornings where you struggled to get out of bed. Three months of staring at the cracked screen of your phone, hoping for a notification from him. You had thrown it at your bedroom wall in a fit of rage after he had texted you for the last time asking for his things back. One half of you wished that you’d never deleted your social media, but you did it because you were prone to stalking his account, and you were glad you did. You were downright terrified of what you might find on there. Or who you might find on there. The other half wished that he’d text again, perhaps even be so courteous as to call. Just so you could answer and tell him to go to hell before hanging up.

Three months of this back-and-forth war with yourself was about to drive you absolutely insane, as was the thought of spending another aimless night holed up in your apartment. So you did the logical thing. You came to the only decent bar Yuuie had to offer and were drinking your sorrows away--for the eighth time this month.

As you down your second drink of the night, you stare down at the brim of your empty glass, mulling over how you found yourself here. A pair of crimson eyes, ash-blonde hair, and a devil-may-care smile flash through your mind. Sighing, you lean your elbows on the bar, bringing your fingertips up to your temples to massage them, trying to rid yourself of some of the discomfort.

The worst part about the breakup wasn’t actually the breakup itself. Sure, there was the screaming and the arguing before he eventually hopped in his truck and left you in a cloud of dust, but that wasn’t the worst part. No, the worst part was the fact that everyone knew about it almost as soon as it happened. And it’s all anyone had been gossiping about. For weeks. So even if you wanted to try and forget and move on, you couldn’t. The price and curse of living in a small town. Everyone knows everyone, and you have no kind of privacy whatsoever. You couldn’t even nurse your heartache behind closed doors because someone was always dropping by your place to “check up on you”.

It also didn’t help that your ex was practically famous. A traveling bull rider and Yuuie rodeo champion for the last six consecutive years, he’d made quite a name for himself.

His rodeo stage name was ridiculous.

The Great Explosion Murder God and his equally explosive steed, Dynamight.

That was the title the papers had graced him with after his amazing win on the bull riding portion of the rodeo. No one expected him to last eight seconds on Yuuie’s most notorious bull, Samson. Samson was the bull that put more cowboys out of commission than any farm accident ever could. But your ex craved challenges just as much as he craved the sweet taste of nicotine in his favorite cigarettes. So he rode Samson. And hung on for twenty-three seconds before being flung off. He’d been the town hero ever since.

Around rodeo season, everywhere you looked, pictures of TGEMG could be seen on every visible window, telephone poll, and building wall imaginable. But you never saw him as the golden boy of Yuuie. You saw him for who he was. A troublemaker with an explosive temper, as hotheaded and stubborn as Samson the bull. To Yuuie, he was The Great Explosion Murder God.

But to you? He was simply Katsuki Bakugou.

Just the thought of his name caused a sour taste to build up in your mouth. Running your fingers through your already messy hair, you seriously contemplate banging your head onto the polished bar.

“Can I get you another, sugar?” A sweet voice draws you out of your thoughts. You glance up and see the bartender swiping down the counter with a wet cloth. Her dark hair is pulled back into a messy bun, with a few loose strands hanging out here and there. Light, subtle strokes of mascara cling to her lashes, accentuating the color of her eyes, two different hues of brown; the left eye a much lighter shade than the right.

A black Jameson Irish Whiskey racerback clings to her curves, accentuating her hourglass figure. A delicate silver chain hangs around her neck, an unknown pendant playing hide-and-seek in the plunging neckline of her tank.

She cuts her mismatched eyes to your glass. “Do you want another, or are you calling it a night?”

Without a word, you shove it toward her. She raises a questioning brow at your actions, lips quirking up slightly, but to your surprise and thankfulness, she doesn’t say anything else. She just grabs the bottle of your favorite liquor and refills your glass for the third time. As she works, you take a moment to study her.

She was new in town. Landed a job as a bartender. Quiet, kept to herself. A walking enigma as no one really knew anything about her. Hell, you weren’t even sure what her name was. All anyone knew was that she moved to Yuuie shortly after you and Katsuki had called it quits. But from her accent and manners, you would’ve thought she was a local. She fit in well enough, seeming to belong with the rest of you, as if she’d been here the entire time.

Setting the glass back in front of you, she gives you a small smile. “Here you go, darlin’.”

You blink once. Twice. You then seem to realize that you still need to pay for your drink. Snapping out of your daze, you reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet. Your fingertips barely brush the stash of bills you have tucked away when the bartender shakes her head.

“On the house, hon.”

You stare incredulously at her. She shrugs, grabbing up empty beer bottles. “You look like you need it.”

You wince as the coolness of the glass seeps into your palms. “That obvious, huh?”

She snorts, wiping down the counter again before throwing the towel over her shoulder. “I’m a bartender; it’s my business to be observant. Kinda part of the job description.” Brushing back the stray hairs dangling in her face, she sticks out a hand. “I’m Blue.”

This time, it’s your turn to raise a brow. “Blue? Like the color?”

An expression settles on her face as if she’s in another place, another time, but she doesn’t give you a chance to dwell on it or even ask what she’s thinking about. The look disappears almost as quickly as it came, replaced by a wistful smile. “Exactly like the color.”

“That’s not your real name is it?” You ask. Again, you lived in a small town. And small towns came with a variety of names. Some were vintage, a little older but still respectable: Beau, Imogen, Pearl, and Edmund. Others were very Southern: Cash, Oakley, Easton, Wes, and anything that ended in ‘Lynn’. And then there were the off-the-wall ones like Cooter, Gator, Coon, Younique, Texas, Amarillo, and a few others that were just plain ridiculous. All in all, Blue wasn’t too bad a name to be saddled with.

She shakes her head, a small chuckle rumbling through her. “No. It’s....a nickname. Well, one of them. Two different nicknames gifted from two very different people. Blue and Peach.”

“Peach?” The dubiousness of your tone causes her to throw her head back and laugh.

“A long story from a lifetime ago. I got so used to them when I was younger that I sometimes wouldn’t respond to my actual name. Feel free to call me either. I’ll respond to both, but if I’m being honest, Blue is my preferred choice.”

Stretching out your arm, you take her hand in yours, giving it a firm shake. “Well, nice to meet you then, Blue.”

Her eyes sparkle, wrapping her fingers around yours. “Likewise.”

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Even though the clock on your phone reads only a quarter past ten, the tavern was nearly jam-packed with patrons.

Several people crowd the bar. Few were playing pool or making bets on a game of darts. Others had paired off and were line-dancing on the dance floor to whatever playlist Present Mic had geared up for the evening.

Laughter bubbles in your chest as you take another shot. You were tipsy, borderline drunk, your giggles growing louder and louder, everything becoming funnier by the second. You were finally beginning to unwind and relax a little.

Okay, you had relaxed A LOT.

Blue made you hand over your keys after your fourth shot of vodka. When you tried protesting, she silenced you with a glare that nearly rivaled your mother’s.

“I’ll give you a lift when my shift ends. Until then, these,” she jangled your keys in front of your face before dropping them into a glass jar that she stashed behind the counter, “are staying with me.”

You begrudgingly but gratefully accepted, especially as you were aware of the way Sheriff Enji Todoroki had been cracking down on drunk driving lately. You didn’t want to take any chances of getting thrown in the slammer and giving the town yet another reason to talk about you. The breakup was enough fuel to keep the fires going for a good long while.

To keep yourself from reliving the event and becoming a blubbering mess, you impulsively decided to ask Blue to tell you about herself.

She gave you a look that you couldn't quite perceive before sucking in her bottom lip and whistling to her partner.

"Neijire! I'm taking ten."

Your eyes travel in the direction of Blue's attention, landing on the bouncing figure of the other bartender. She wore nearly an identical outfit to Blue’s, but her shirt was more strategically ripped to bare more skin and bore the Jack Daniels logo instead of Jameson. She was happily putting a hefty bill into the Tip Jar, but Blue's words turned her mouth down into a pout.

"You're just now taking a break? Blue!" Neijire scolds, throwing a rag at the back of Blue's head. "You need to take your breaks as they come. Being on your feet for hours gets real exhausting real fast. I don't need you burnt out during your shifts."

Blue gives her a sarcastic salute while Neijire just rolls her eyes. She reaches across the counter, grabbing a pen, scribbling something down on a notepad. Ripping the paper cleanly off, she shoves it into Blue's hand, her golden eyes glittering in the low lights of the bar.

"Go ahead and give this to FatGum. He'll whip up something for you in the back. Take all your missed breaks and get yourself some dinner too. I don't want you back behind this counter until you've eaten something, you hear?"

“Neijire-chan! Can I get another over here, sweetheart?” One of the patrons calls, holding their glass up.

Neijire winks at you both, tucking back a curly lock of lavender-purple hair. “Welcome! What can I get y’all started with?”

Blue limbos under the ‘employees only’ trapdoor and plops herself beside you on a cushy barstool, grinning. "What do you wanna know?"

"Anything,” you answer, slamming your shot glass down after swigging the contents. “Do you like living in Yuuie? What's your name? What's your sign? When's your birthday? Do you have any tattoos? Have you ever done anything illegal?" The questions were pouring out of you like water from a leaking spicket.

Blue laughs as she hands off her meal ticket to one of the passing waiters, setting it on top of his empty serving tray. "Thanks, Mirio!”

The blonde bows at the waist, a thousand gigawatt smile flashing. “A pleasure, Miss Blue.”

She waves him off, shaking her head at him and his antics before turning back to you. “This sounds more like an interrogation than a getting-to-know-you icebreaker."

"Well, it's not only me that's curious. The whole town has been abuzz about you since you got here. You're like a mystery novel with no ending."

Blue's face scrunches up in disbelief. "I'm an open book! Hit me."

“Do you have any pets?”

Her entire face lights up when you ask her that.

"Do you wanna see my cat?"

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And that’s how you found yourself about an hour later, learning everything there was to know about the elusive new bartender.

She whipped out her phone, showing you pictures of a tiny white kitten with a splotched black tail and scattered salt and pepper patches on her face and back. For reasons unbeknownst to you, she named it Queso Mozzarella but lovingly calls her 'Mozzy' for short. Your heart squeezed at the absolute adorableness.

After Blue put her phone away, she began to tell you about herself, bit by bit. Almost like putting together a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle.

One of the first things she told you was her favorite flavor. Any and everything peach.

"I actually got the nickname 'Peach' when I was in elementary school because I always brought a fresh peach for lunch, even when they weren't in season."

She despises oranges, mainly because she's allergic to them.

"I swell up like a Goodyear Blimp. It ain't very comely."

She likes chocolate milk, mozzarella sticks, forget-me-not flowers, 80's movie soundtrack music, and her favorite color is blue (real surprise there).

"Told you, I'm an open book."

But the thing that shocked you the most was when you discovered that your previous assumption about her had been right. She did grow up in Yuuie.

"Born and raised."

"Then why did you move away?"

Blue fiddles with the basket of fries that came with her mountain of a burger. She’d polished off most of her food, playing with the remaining bits she couldn’t quite eat. Mirio dropped it off earlier, as well as a giant glass of sweet tea. He had playfully ruffled her hair despite Blue's protests before disappearing back into the sea of dancing bodies.

"My dad was in the military. He ended up getting promoted to a higher rank and stationed in another country the winter I became a junior. He packed us up and moved us overseas before I could finish the year out." A heavy sigh escapes her lips. She picks up a French fry, dipping it into a small bowl of ranch dressing. That was yet another thing you learned about her: she hated eating ketchup with her fries.

It drops back onto the checkered parchment paper in the plastic basket.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye."

You slightly sober up at the sadness in her tone. However, before you or she could say anything else, a frazzled-looking Neijire rushes to y'all's end of the bar. "Blue, it's the Pre-Midnight Rush. I need some help back here."

Blue nods. “On my way, darlin’.” She wipes her hands on her jeans, standing.

“Back to work, then.” She pushes the basket towards you. "Here. You should eat something to soak up all that alcohol you've been drinking."

You take it, deciding to heed her advice. She rounds the bar, walking to the sink to wash her hands before clocking back in.

“Hey, y’all,” she greets the fresh flood of customers alongside Nejire. “Pick your poisons.”

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"So why did you come back?" You shout at her over the pumping bass. Present Mic turned the tunes over to his DJ in training, Kyoka Jirou around midnight. The later it got, the louder the music became. And Jirou seemed to prefer it that way.

Blue vigorously shakes a silver canister before pouring a pink margarita into a salted glass. She throws a cherry in the middle of it, topping it off with a sliced lime before handing it off to the person who ordered it.

"My gramma is sick," she answers, shoveling ice into a few glasses. "I'm the only person willing to come take care of her."

Blue didn't seem too keen on delving into details, and you were smart enough to take the silent hint and not ask. You’re nursing your eleventh, maybe twelfth drink? as she steers the conversation away to lighter subjects.

She regales you with a story of how the town flirt and electrician, Denki Kaminari, shocked himself on an electric pole after he tried hitting on her as she was walking home with her groceries the other day.

“He kept giving me a thumbs up from the back of the ambulance and muttering ‘yay’. I feel so bad but I couldn’t help but laugh at him,” Blue chuckles as she polishes another pint glass before putting it on the shelf. “Bless his heart.”

“Sounds like a typical day for him.” You slur, a hiccup escaping your lips. “He gets electrocuted so much that everyone in Yuuie calls him Sparky.” You chug back the rest of your bourbon, belching loudly. “Except for Jirou. She calls him ‘Jammingyay’.”

Blue gently pries the glass from your hand. “Jammingyay? Well, that’s certainly creative. I always used to call him Pikachu.” She places it in the sink, eliciting a drunken whine from you. “Sorry, sugar. I’m officially cutting you off. You’re three sheets to the wind.”

“Am not,” you insist, but your vision blurs and you aren’t sure which Blue you’re looking at. The one on the left or the one on the right. Both of them frown at you.

“Yeeeeaaah, definitely time to call it quits. You’re as full as a tick on a bloodhound.”

You burst into a deep belly laugh at her euphemism. Your laughter ends, as does the song that had been playing. Some rough feedback from the speakers grabs everyone’s attention, as well as the tap-tap-tapping of someone’s finger against a microphone.

“Alrighty, y’all. It’s that time of the night. Karaoke hour,” Jirou announces, stirring up the crowd as they erupt into a fit of cheerful hollers. “You know the rules. Take a number, pick a song, and sing your little drunk hearts out.” Jirou places a couple of spare mics on her counter as a slew of girls immediately rush her DJ station.

You scoff. “Who would wanna do something as dumb as karaoke?”

Blue flips a bottle behind her back, catching it before filling up a row of shot glasses. She takes out a lighter from her pocket, flicking it before setting the row on fire. They burn for a couple of seconds before she whips out two coffee mugs, setting them over the shots one at a time. After the flames die down, she passes them out to awaiting patrons.

“I dabble in it from time to time. It’s a good way to get your emotions out or feelings across.”

“You’re joking, right?”

She shrugs. “To each their own. We all cope in different ways.”

You feel the corner of your mouth twitch.

“Blue! I need a pitcher of sangria and three whiskey sours!” Neijire shouts the orders as she places more bills into the Tip Jar and rings up tabs.

Blue sighs, glancing up at you from under her lashes. “Never a moment of peace around here, I’ll tell ya that.”

As she makes her way to Neijire, you replay her words over and over in your head.

‘We all cope in different ways.’

The first song gears up on the karaoke machine, lyrics displayed on an ancient projector screen. Familiar chords of a song you loved singing on long road trips start to filter out of the speakers, and the soft, subtle backup vocals of Dolly Parton croon in your ears.

You had no idea who was currently butchering one of the best songs (in your opinion) that Dolly Parton ever created, but you couldn’t help but want to sing along.

“Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your cowboy boots and your painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream. Why'd you come in here looking like that? Here comes my baby, draggin' my heart behind. He's drivin' me crazy! Who says love is blind? He's got a wanderin' eye and a travelin' mind, big ideas and a little behind. Out with a different woman every night, but I remember when he was mine.”

And how had you been coping? Not moving from your couch in several days, refusing to change out of your ratty pajamas. Hygiene had been a foreign concept during the first week or so after you and Katsuki had called it quits. You didn’t shower. You didn’t bother putting on a new outfit. You hardly opened your blinds, reveling in your misery in the dark. Netflix should have sent you a medal for watching nearly every romcom known to man on their streaming platform, all while sobbing into your ice cream cartons. You deactivated every platform of social media from your phone because you didn’t want to see how happy he was without you and didn’t want to give yourself any opportunities to fall into a deeper spiral of stalking his accounts. You chose to send your liver into an early grave and your bank account into the red with how often you frequented the bars and dives around town, doing your best to forget him.

How he smelled: like burnt sugar and salty caramel. How he tasted. How it felt when he held you in his arms. Like you were the only person he wanted to touch. To kiss. To love.

“Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your high heel boots and painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream. Waltzing right in here lookin' like that. Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? When you could stop traffic in a gunny sack. Why you're almost givin' me a heart attack! When you waltz right in here lookin' like that I just can't stand it. To see him on the town, he's out slow dancing with every girl around. I'm a softhearted woman; he's a hardheaded man, and he's gonna make me feel just as bad as he can. He's got himself a mean streak a half a mile wide Now he's dancing on this heart of mine.”

You feel as if the song is directed at you. Like an evil version of Cupid crawled from the depths of hell just to play with your already broken heart strings. That, or the person singing just had it out for you. Either way, each word hit you like a slap to the face.

“Ooh, Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your high heel boots painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream.Why'd you come in here lookin' like that?”

Tears stung your lower eyelids as the song ended and the crowd exploded in whooping applause.

Maybe whoever just got off the stage was in the same boat as you. Still in the tender stages of a splintered heart, trying to figure out how to put the pieces together. Perhaps that was their way of doing their best to move on and start fresh.

‘We all cope in different ways.’

How had you been coping?

Not well. Not well at all.

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“Darlin’? Darlin’, you still with me?” A gentle shake to your shoulders startles you, causing you to jump a little. Blue retracts her hand. She meekly tips her head. “Sorry to wake you, sweet pea, but I’m nearin’ the end of my shift.”

You yawn, rubbing some of the sleep out of your eyes. “What time is it?”

“Nearly two. You fell asleep about thirty minutes ago.”

You grimace, rolling your neck from side to side. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. If we had a decent taxi service or some type of Lyft or Uber, I would’ve gotten you one a while ago. Let me just get a few of these stragglers and then I’ll take ya on home, okay?”

You yawn again. “Thanks, Blue.”

She smiles, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Ain’t nothin’ but a thing.”

“No,” you blurt out. She stops in her tracks and stares at you. “It’s not.”

“It’s just a ride home. I ain’t really doin' much, sweet pea.”

“It is a big thing.” You insist. “It’s a really big thing. Thank you.”

She shakes her head. “No, really, darlin’, it’s--”

“You’re the only person that hasn’t treated me like I’m made of glass.”

There’s a heavy, pregnant pause.

“Well, why on earth would I do that?”

“Because he broke up with me.” Damn you for drinking so much. You always were a bit of a talker when you got more than two sips of alcohol in you. You lost count of how much you consumed this evening, and now you were no better than the town’s gossip columnist who went under the alias of Mount Lady. Here you were, bearing your heart and soul to someone you didn’t even know, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

Blue tilts her head to the side, her eyes searching yours. “Who broke up with you, sweet pea?”

A bitter laugh nearly chokes you as it collides with the sob rising in the back of your throat. The same tears you tried keeping at bay earlier decide to form a prison break and escape the confines of your eyelids, slipping down your cheeks.

“The Great Explosion Murder God of Yuuie, Katsuki Bakugou.”

You weren’t sure if it was the strobe lights coming from the dancefloor or the way your tears caused impairment of your already compromised vision, but you could have sworn in that moment that Blue blanched.

“Ka...Katsuki....Bakugou?”

“Yeah,” you swipe at your eyes with the heel of your hand, sucking snot back in before it could drip from your runny nostrils.

“I’m...I’m so sorry, darlin’.”

She says it with so much sincerity that you know she means it. Truly means it. Not like the other people in town who said it to you so flippantly. No. Blue was different. And maybe that’s why you felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with her, sans all the alcohol running through your system. Because Blue had something a lot of folks in Yuuie didn’t. A sense of realness.

And that was something you needed right now. A real friend.

“I hate to leave you like this, darlin’, but I gotta finish these orders. Will you be okay for a few minutes by yourself?” Blue apologizes, handing you some napkins. You take one and angrily blow your nose.

“I’ll be fine.”

Blue’s upper teeth knaw at her bottom lip as she looks at you, skepticism written all over her face.

“I promise I’m fine.”

“Okay....I shouldn’t be longer than fifteen minutes. We’ll leave right after that.” She reaches up on the shelf to pull down some beer steins, ready to run them under the taps. Once they were filled to the brim, foam spilling down the sides, Blue slides the beer down to Neijire for her to pass on to the people who ordered them.

“Blue?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Thank you.”

A small burst of air leaves her nose as her face relaxes enough to gift you with a gentle smile. She opens her mouth to reply to you, but the sound of the double Western-style saloon doors draws her from the conversation.

“Welcome!” Blue shouts over her shoulder. “We’re fixin’ to get ready for last call soon. What can I--”

Shattering glass can be heard in the quiet pause between music selections.

“Blue!” Neijire hurries over to her coworker, mindful not to step on the broken pieces. “Are you okay?”

You glance up to see Blue’s wide eyes staring at something behind you. You assume her concerned gaze is directed at whoever just came in. Her skin pales, and you see her visibly gulping. “Oh, sugar honey iced tea...”

Neijire follows her line of sight. Her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.

“Uh oh.”

Her eyes dart from you, to behind you, to you, to behind you again. She snatches the towel out of Blue’s hands, firmly shaking her as if trying to snap her out of her daze.

“Blue, you’re shift is over. Go home.” Neijire says in a tone you’ve never heard come from her before. “Tamaki and Mirio can help me with the mess, but you should go. You need to go.”

You stare at the two of them in bewilderment. Why were they looking at you like that?

The stomping of boots encroaches on your space, coming closer with each step.

“Cat got your tongue, dumbass? What the hell are you starin’ at me for?”

All the blood in your body turns to ice at the sound of a gruff, grating voice. One you were all too familiar with. One you hoped you’d never have to hear again. Not since the day he left you in a cloud of dust, never to look back.

Blue is in front of you in a millisecond, seemingly teleporting from one end of the bar to the other. “Hon, I’m clockin’ out now. Grab your stuff and we can go.” Blue reaches under the counter to grab your keys. But you don’t move. You can’t. You’re glued to your seat, your hands shaking.

“Leavin’? I just got here! Neijire, what the hell kinda service is this?” The voice draws closer until it’s directly behind you. A hand slams down on the surface of the counter, right next to you, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. “I swear this town ain’t got nothing fuckin’ going for it anymore.”

You try swallowing, but the lump in your throat won’t allow anything past it. You squeeze your eyes shut.

Don’t look up. Don’t look up. Don’t. Look. Up.

“Service can be refused if the occasion calls for it and the occasion is callin’ for it. My shift is over and I’m headin’ on to the house. You need somethin’ you ask Neijire and you ask her politely.” Blue huffs, irritation and disdain coating every word.

“Who the hell do you think you are? My mother? I already got one old hag harpin’ on me day and night. I don’t need another.”

“I ain’t old and don’t you dare talk about your mama that way, Katsuki Bakugou. I will call her and tell her you’re causin’ trouble again. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Still the same ole’ tattletale, aren’t you, Blue? Even after all these years, you ain’t changed a bit.” He pauses, but you can hear the salacious grin in his tone. “Well, parts of you have.”

A resounding slap echoes in the air and you hear several gasps. Your eyes fly open to see Blue almost climbed over the bar, her arm raised high, palm a burning red. In your peripheral, your ex is hunched over, fingers pressed to the side of his face.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, Explosion Boy. You never did. Don’t pretend like you do now.” You hear betrayal, hurt, and a slight tremble in her words. You stare at her.

Did they know each other?

But just as you opened your mouth to ask the silent question, the familiar sound of your keys clinking together snags your attention away from the scene unraveling beside you.

“Come on, sugar. I’ll drop you off.” Blue tells you, lifting up the trapdoor of the bar before closing it behind her.

A hand shoots out, clamping down on her upper arm. Her eyes shoot daggers at the person it’s attached to.

“Off in such a hurry, Blue? Always willin’ to start a fight, but ain’t ever willin’ to finish it. I was right. You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Get your hands off me before I have Tetsu knock you on your arrogant, conceited, spoiled little Southern ass.”

“Hah? That extra? Please. He wouldn’t last two seconds.” He tugs on her arm, trying to draw her closer, but his elbow knocks you in the back of the head. You weren’t expecting the impact, so it’s no surprise to you when you fall clean off your barstool.

You crash to the ground in a graceless, drunken fashion. You hear Blue call your name, several people shouting, (all of their insults and anger directed at your ex), and three or more pairs of hands reaching down to help you to your feet. However, one set is faster than the others. Warm calloused fingers encircle your wrist, yanking you up off the floor.

“Don’t toss them around like a ragdoll. Lord above, Bakugou. Sometimes I wonder if you’ve got anything up in that spiky head of yours. Then again, if your brain was leather, you probably wouldn’t have enough to saddle a Junebug.”

“Shut the hell up, you fuckin’ extra.”

“Don’t you swear at me.”

“I’ll do whatever I so fuckin’ please.”

Blue pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. “You could make a bishop mad enough to kick in stained glass windows with that outhouse of a mouth.”

You want to laugh. Really you do. The entire situation is like something you’d read from a tacky fanfiction, or would be a terrible scenario for one of your cheesy romcoms. You’re on the floor while your ex and new friend are above you, bickering back and forth like an old married couple.

It’s like a trashy Southern soap opera. With a Dolly Parton soundtrack to boot.

However, your entire world comes to a standstill when a pair of furious ruby eyes stare into yours.

Katsuki Bakugou.

His forehead is crinkled into those grumpy lines you slowly grew to love, once upon a time. Bits of his hay-colored hair poke out from beneath a black cowboy hat. He’s wearing a dark button-up shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, displaying his muscular arms. A clean pair of Levi’s cling to his legs and ass, perfectly sculpting the body worthy of a mythological god.

So maybe there was some semblance of sense to his rodeo stage name. The god part at least. Because honestly, looking that fine should be considered a sin. You suck in your bottom lip, a not-so-subtle attempt to make sure that you’re not drooling.

Damn, boy.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He all but yells at you, giving you a hard shake.

The lyrics from the song from earlier dance around in your mind as your eyes drift down to his custom-designed cowboy boots. Black with bright orange X’s running across the front of them and olive green grenade emblems stitched to the sides near the top.

Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your cowboy boots and your painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream. Why'd you come in here looking like that?

“Did you hear me, or are you deaf now? I said, what the hell are you doing here?”

Your mouth works faster than your brain.

“Getting over you.”

His eyes widen, and for once in his damn life, he seems at a loss for words.

“W-what?”

“Getting over you. The only way I know how. Because we all cope differently, don’t we, Blue?”

She stares at you with such sadness that it makes you feel guilty for even asking her.

“I cope by drinking myself into oblivion, and you cope by inviting whoever the fuck you want into our bed. Oops. I mean, your bed.” The words are out before you can even process them, and you can’t take them back, even if you wanted to. Because, again, the more you drink, the more you talk.

And you drank quite a bit.

You really, really wish that you had gone through with the plan you first concocted when you first arrived. Because a concussed head was sooooo much better than what you just did. You recall what Blue said the moment that she saw Bakugou enter the bar.

Sugar Honey Iced Tea.

Shit indeed, Blue. Shit indeed.

Bakugou still stares at you, mouth hanging open. You reach over, placing your fingers under his chin, tenderly applying enough pressure that his lips slam together, shutting his mouth. Again, a feat you once thought to be impossible, but hey, you were just full of surprises tonight.

“Trying to catch flies, ‘Suki? It’s easier if you use honey.” You purr, hand falling to his chest. His heart flutters underneath your fingers.

“You drunk or somethin’?” He asks, clearing his throat as pink stains his cheeks.

Giggling, you lean forward, your lips mere inches from his.

“And if I am? What are you gonna do about it?”

His eyes narrow, glaring down at you.

“Alright, I’m breaking this up,” Blue announces, tugging on the sleeve of your shirt.

“Katsuki already did that for you,” you giggle, leaning back to look up at him. “Ain’t that right, ‘Suki? Dropped me like a sack of hot potatoes the moment I was no longer of any value to you.”

Bakugou says nothing, lips pressed into a firm, narrow line.

“Time to go home, sweet pea,” Blue urges you, all but shoving you out the door.

You throw up a casual wave, flipping Bakugou off in the same breath.

“This was fun, ‘Suki, Let’s never do it again.”

And with that, Blue guides you through the double doors, allowing them to swing behind you. Your lungs greedily suck down the cool night air, goosebumps raising on your skin. Your body leans on Blue as she walks you to her truck.

“Almost there, darlin’,” she assures you with each step. Finally, you’re brought to a halt in front of a navy blue Chevy Silverado. But before Blue can even reach over to open the door, you crumple into a sobbing heap. Your knees slam into the broken asphalt, but you barely register the pain.

The agony consuming your heart is enough. And after the scene you caused inside, you only gave the town more ammunition to use against you.

You hated this place. Hated this town. Hated the people in it. Hated him. But most of all, you hated yourself. Hated yourself for still caring about him. For still holding some kind of hope that things would work out and you’d be happy again.

With him. Just the two of you. Like you always wished it would be.

A pair of warm arms wrap around you, and you allow yourself to be held as you finally have the breakdown that’s been building up for the last three months.

“It hurts, Blue,” you blubber into her shoulder. “It hurts...so much.”

“I know, sweet pea. I know. And I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” She whispers, smoothing down your hair. “He was an ass anyway. Always has been.”

“But he was my ass. And I loved him. I loved him. I loved him.” You repeat, clawing at your chest, desperately trying to reach into the hollow activity of your ribcage and rip your heart out in a pitiful attempt to find some relief, hoping that if you were able to do it, it would make the pain go away.

Blue doesn’t have an answer. No magic cure or spell to help you through this.

But she’s there with you.

And that was more than you could have ever asked for.

"Why'd he have to show up like that? All decked out in his fancy boots and favorite button up and that hat. That fuckin' hat, Blue." You ask, salty tears dripping down your chin. "Just when I think 'to hell with him, I deserve more and better,' he waltzes on in like a damn movie star and steals my breath away all over again. Despite everything he's ever done, I love him. And I think part of me always will."

You look up at Blue through your haze of tears.

"Why'd he have to come in there lookin' like that?"

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your cowboy boots and your painted-on jeans, all decked out like a cowgirl's dream. Why'd you come in here looking like that?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

IT'S DONE. I HAVE FINISHED. I HAVE COMPLETED THE TASK BEFORE ME. ALL HAIL THE EXHAUSTED BLUE PEACH.

Seriously, I am so thankful that I was finally able to finish this request.

It's currently 2 in the morning my time and this entire scenario is probably flaming garbage that resides in a sewage plant because I wrote most of this half asleep. And before you tell me, yes, I am aware that it looks like the spirit of an 1800s author took hold of me and had a field day using commas for ridiculously long sentences. I KNOW.

But I had a lot of fun writing this, and if you don't like it, don't read it. It wasn't for you anyway. 😘

I write for my own pleasure and enjoyment, not for the validation of others.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

This is the first scenario of the Southern Roots Series. I will do my best to update as often as I can but life gets busy so don't expect too much out of me.

I really hope y'all enjoyed and I can't wait to write more.

Later, Taters! 💙💙

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

#southernrootsseries #southern au #country au #cowboy au #bakugou katsuki #why'd you come in here lookin' like that #dolly parton #request #blue answers #blue writes

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barkspawn · 1 year

Note

My friend and I were talking about a scenario in which Seb decided to adopt the farmer's baby and we had a massive laugh on how Sam would be that "cool uncle" who just did stupid ahit to give Seb a heart attack.

Bruh what are kids. Also, I had COVID I'm sorry but brains, man.

Amelia was taking a few moments to catch up on some cleaning around the house. It took a long time to get used to being parents and it felt like it happened so fast. They applied and thought it would take years longer than it did, but they got remarkably lucky.

Now, they had Autumn and were happier than they ever thought imaginable. Sebastian and Amelia were natural parents. Sebastian did turn out to be a little overprotective when it came to Autumn’s safety, but Amelia understood.

She was wiping down the counter when she felt Sebastian’s arms slide around her waist, pulling her back into a hug as he kissed her cheek.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” she laughed, turning in his arms to steal a proper kiss. He hummed, definitely not completely awake yet.

“Couldn't help it,” he teased, turning and looking over the house, “where's autumn…?”

She leaned back against the counter, bracing for the response, “she had a playdate with ‘Unc Sam’,” she frowned as he tensed, already walking toward his jacket, “Seb, he would not let her get hurt.”

“I've seen Sam and Vince play together,” he deadpanned, hand on the knob to head outside, “no broken bones or stitches. That's the goal here.”

Amelia laughed to herself, shaking her head before turning back to the counters.

Sam and Autumn were down on the path to the bus stop. Sebastian nearly had a heart attack when he saw the girl on Sam’s hip while skateboarding. Sebastian didn't realize how dangerous those things were until he imagined… Well, he tried not to think about it.

“Sam, what are you thinking?” Sebastian snapped, trying to keep his tone soft enough to not freak out his daughter.

“Dude, it's fine. She loves it,” Sam pushed the last few feet, the girl's laugh echoing through the small area.

“Why can't you take her to the playground like a normal kid?”

Sam laughed, shaking his head, “she's no normal kid! If she's gonna hang out with Uncle Sam, she's gonna be rad as–”

“Sam.”

“Right, sorry. Repeating words phase,” he nodded before looking toward the girl, his voice taking on a dramatic tone as he gave a nod, “right?”

“Right!” she giggled, Sam tickling her with his free hand.

“Sam please,” Sebastian ran a hand back through his hair, “no skateboard.”

Sam rolled his eyes, stepping off the board before turning to the girl again with a silly voice, “daddy's being no fun.”

Autumn crossed her arms, though the smile remained as she tried to use a similar tone, “no fun!”

Sam laughed and looked over at Sebastian. When he saw how exasperated Sebastian looked, he laughed harder, shifting the girl so he held her under her arms, holding her up in the air as she squealed with joy.

“Oh, you're trying to kill me,” Sebastian started as Sam pretended to let her go, play gasping as he caught her again. It was definitely an attempt to make Sebastian stressed and it was working.

“Relax, Seb,” he relaxed and set her down, watching her run and skip around the skateboard, “you know I wouldn't let anything happen to her.”

“Until she wiggles or something and you don't catch her,” he groaned, the familiar pit of worry aching in his stomach.

“Dude, I don't even actually let her go.”

“Still.”

Sam sighed and bent to pick her up, throwing her over his shoulder, his grip firm on her legs as she burst out into another fit of giggles. Sebastian watched in horror as Sam walked her back onto the farm, bouncing along happily.

This is why his mom always warned him he would make her hair gray by 40. He’d have to apologize for that later.

Sebastian followed along, watching as Sam and his daughter plopped down into a patch of grass and started playing with some toys.

He needed coffee.

He sighed and headed inside, Amelia already sliding a cup across the counter. He groaned as he leaned over the counter, propped up on his elbows, “we should look into life insurance.”

She looked taken aback, if not a little worried. Seb looked up and met her eyes, “Sam is going to stress me out into an early grave.”

She relaxed and shook her head, attempting to hide her smirk, “good thing I'm here to help you relax, hmm?”

He couldn't help but break a smile as he took a swig of his coffee. She made her way around the counter and stood on her toes to steal a kiss as he murmured against her lips, “you're going to be very busy helping me then.”

She smiled before stealing another kiss. Just as Sebastian moved to set his mug down and consider taking advantage of Sam watching Autumn, he heard a cry from outside, his heart dropping.

“I'll kill him, I swear,” he was already out the door before Amelia could respond. She followed him out to the porch where she watched her husband freaking out.

“What happened?”

Autumn was sitting in Sam’s lap, crying in small, heartbreaking sobs.

“She fell and got a widdle boo-boo,” he pouted, Sebastian already kneeling beside them. She had a small red mark on her knee, the skin scraped just a bit though it wasn't bleeding. She reached out for him, crying now for her daddy.

“Oh, sweetheart, let me see,” he took her and sat on the ground, sitting her in his lap, “oh, no! Do you want me to kiss it all better?”

She sniffled, giving a quiet ‘mhmm’ before Sebastian bent and kissed the scrape very gently. He smiled at her then, autumn unable to hold back a smile in response.

“All better?”

“All better!”

“Good,” he hummed and wiped tears from her eyes before he allowed her to run off, Sam watching alongside him as she played with Loaf.

“She tripped, dude. I swear I didn't do anything,” Sebastian had stood up, brushing himself off before Amelia tucked herself under his arm.

“You see why it's scary though, right? That scream is pretty universal. I'm worried one day it'll be more than a scrape and I won't be able to kiss it away.”

He watched his daughter as Amelia stood on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek, “I know, love,” she turned to Sam, who took a deep breath.

“Yeah, can't lie, that was a bit scary,” he stood, stretching his legs, “but you handled it like a boss, dude. Who knew kisses made scrapes better? You never kissed mine!”

Sebastian laughed, shaking his head, “guess I just like her more.”

Sam started to protest, but looked over at the girl, “yeah, that's fair.”

“Would you kiss my scrapes?” Amelia teased, Sam's face shifting a bit to fake disgust as Sebastian answered without a second thought.

“And then some. No scrape necessary,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead and laughed as Sam made a gagging noise.

“You don't have to torture him, Seb. He's watching her for free.”

Sam looked between them for a moment before his lip curled in disgust.

“Ugh, I don't need to know. I have to go in an hour, go do whatever it is I wish I didn't know about,” he commented, his grin returning as the child bound towards him, tackling him in a hug with Loaf close behind with kisses.

Amelia looked up at Sebastian before nudging his side to grab his attention back. She kept her voice low, “c’mon. We have an hour to chip away at that stress.”

He chuckled, his shoulders relaxing slightly at the idea of what was to come.

“I can't decide if I want to shower or take you to bed,” he teased, smacking her ass playfully as they walked inside.

“You could combine the two,” she hummed, walking into the bathroom, “shower with me.”

The smirk she gave him made him thankful for Sam for the first time that day.

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contentloadingandstuff · 10 months

Note

Spit some crispy hot Rhymes for us King.

🎤

Well oh well. Do you really want me to rhyme? Last time I tried lyrics (Barbara fic) the only response I got was the eerie, most likely cringe-filled silence.

But you know what? I'll do it. And I'll pay a homage to one of my favorite games - Warlords Battlecry 3, with a diss track for my favorite faction - the Undead.

Disclaimer: Plenty things are exadurated, you know, as in rap.

Shoutout to my dad, who showed me this game nine years ago.

Let's roll.

(Intro) You have suffered defeat. What was that? You, yes, you. You were supposed to run, and you did what? You got stuck on a tree. A tree. And not even a moving one. And then you failed Strip Flesh. All those points in Necromancy... blood into the sand. Where are you all going? We're not done yet... You have suffered defeat So here's a bit for getting your bones beat Hero: I bring power... But a big cow is enough to make you cower Seriously... next time I'll put your b- ass in a tower Skeleton: Master? I wish you f- built faster You do as much damage as thrown Paw Patrol plasters Zombie: Brains? You're far from Engineer mains Build skill 8? Bruh, go get some gains Wight: Turn back! Hell nah, I'm staying right on the track Speed? Seriously, pick up the slack! Wraith: Floating... Next up it's you I'll be quoting When you're around, it's just my popcap that's bloating Skeleton Cavalry: Eternal battle. You? I have to herd you like cattle And when I look away you're no longer in saddle Slayer Knight: Pain! This time you'll be the slain You guys as fleeting as Common Cold's strain Shadow: Flesh is weak! Seriously - how much will you speak?! My brain just aches when hearing you squeak Death Knight: Doom is at hand! One with high level is all I demand But looks like by Shadows my retinue'll be manned... Lich: Do not meddle! Come on! Seriously, step on the pedal! Before I get to you I have a full cap of metal Vampire: Stone and wood, what without they? Warning! Warning! May day, day may A single tower and you're gone, out of play Lord Bane: They are playthings! Lookin' good only on titan ratings 'Cause it's the skelly spam that's meant to do great things Harpy: Am I not beautiful? ... No. Seriously, just no. You're ugly. Get out of my population cap.

(Outro)

Ah. Nine years have passed and you didn't change at all, you beautiful bastards. ... Come on, let's try that again. This time, work with me here. ... Pretty please?

Is it good? I don't know, but I certainly had fun while making it.

#warlords battlecry 3 #contentloading and stuff

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skyblue-haxi · 8 months

Text

Remembering the time I farted in class

Some dumb ass dude went "o u had BEANS 4 breakfast" And I went "No, I actually had frozen fruit, and that makes me gassy. I also get gassy with Burger King onion rings. Only that brand. No other onion rings. It also affects my whole family. The others get stomach aches, but my sister and I have gas for some reason. I get it the worst. Its kind of like a time bomb that's setting off every five minutes or so. no sound, just stink, The stink smells like-" And he went "WOAH WOAH WOAH lemme stop you there, bruh. I was making a joke. And he had a look of shock on his face by how much I could talk about my flatulence. I wish that I was not so engrossed thinking about farts that I could see his face slowly devolve into abject horror as I went on about the dangers of Burger King onion rings. I think my dumbass-too-much-information-adhd-heavily-medicated-brain actually wards off jerks. :3

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l3m0ngal5 · 2 days

Note

Kate:Hello there my enemy

Welcome to my punching spree

This is where I lay waste and you go home bleeding

Didn't have to be this way

Should have stayed out of the fray

Now you're heading for a beating

Didn't mother warn you?

Now she's gonna mourn you

Being damaged's how you'll end this day

You're a big mess

'Cause I'm relentless

I gotta tell you I'm on fire today

Crash and burn (crash and burn)

Some lessons are just hard to learn

Scathing eyes (scathing eyes)

That see things from only one side

Yet every misshapen spark

Suffers the judgment and pain

But just as light conquers dark

There's a beauty that's greater than pure symmetry can contain

So let's start the game!

Fool, you shouldn't stare into these eyes of fire

You're goin' to regret this little fight

You don't wanna mess with me

I'm something higher

Anguish you'll know for your miserable plight

Soon you'll bemoan your mistake of a life

You'll watch yourself suffer

You'll watch me ignite

Ana and Jake: Kate!

Kate:Usually, I devastate

This time, I'd annihilate

Any minute now, you're gonna rue our meeting

Messin' with my family

Means that soon, you're history

The moments of your life are fleeting

Looking pretty tattered

Your blood is really splattered

Won't be long until I end this game

You're looking toothless

I'm feeling ruthless

Watch me burn as you go down in flames

Ache and yearn (ache and yearn)

And wait for the pages to turn

Play both sides (play both sides)

The truth you could not recognize

As any remarkable heart

Has gone through the hardship and shame

That's born of standing apart

From the easily processed, the uniform army of same

And that's just so lame!

I dominate, desecrate, leave you in a foul state

Put you in the trash with that nonsense you perpetuate

Why'd you get me riled up? Don't you know I'm wild, bruh?

Bet you'll understand when I'm pissing on your ashes, son

Told you I'm torturous when you feel the force of this blast

You'll crash like a cardiac explosion, bitch

Bloody body, broken nose, screw it it's a bloodbath

Try to get away but there's no escaping Alcatraz

Look what you made me do, told you I would slaughter you

Fools you lose, blood cold, ice water dude

Reach into my bag of tricks, hit you with the baddest licks ever

You'll never contend, I win

Bringing out the beast in me, challenging my decency

Now I gotta ask; do you really want a piece of me?

Hope you're ready for the pain, suffer when I hit your brain

Erase your essence from Earth, no need to explain

Fool, you shouldn't stare into these eyes of fire

You're goin' to regret this little fight

You don't wanna mess with me

I'm something higher

Anguish you'll know for your miserable plight

Soon you'll bemoan your mistake of a life

You'll watch yourself suffer

You'll watch me ignite

This is beautiful Kate

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lady-lycany · 1 month

Text

Bruh my best friend just send me two messages. One made my heart ache a little, cuz eversince I felt rejected by her, I have a hard time believing what she says... And she just texted me something like, that she's unbelievably happy that we got to know each other and that I'm an important part of her life, and that she knows no one else, who shares her humor like I do and that she can't believe, that I'm real and how we met ect." And the thing is, mentally I distanced myself so much from her already, because she hurt me so bad, and yet, I know that this is my own problem and so I try to ignore the voices in my head and keep our friendship up, but to get back to the topic, my heart really started to ache, because I have a hard time believing her...... And then I read her next message, that instantly made me chuckle: "btw I'm aware you still want to slam my head into concrete". I mean, of course that's exaggerated. But this was such an important addition, because it showed me, that she knows how I feel. She knows, that I still struggle with all of it and doesn't pretend like everything is fine. Because my feelings towards her are literally changing by the hour from "You're the best" to "fck you, btch"

Just recently I felt hurt about something that happened last fcking summer. That wasn't even up to date anymore, but my brain tries to tell me now nonstop, that I don't mean nearly as much to her as she did to me... So messages or comments like that always feel like a lie. I don't wanna see it as one, that happens automatically. But the second message felt good. To see that she's aware of it. Made the first messages even more believable for me

#ramble

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seokjinsonlyone · 1 year

Note

HEY BESTIE! WHATS AWP?

I cant stop thinkin about jimin idk what it is 😭 he be having me giggling

and jk was so silent in the send-off video for jin ): like I never saw him that quiet before. my heart was aching bruh 💔

HEY GIRL HEEEYYYYYY

you just like me fr bc jimin be heavy on the brain these days especially wit his lil updates he been giving changing his pfp and telling us not to get sick shorty been down bad 😓 and uhhh yeah i didn't watch the video and i won't <\3 like i am not the strongest soldier and the way my mental health is looking i won't make it to the other side bc MY feelings are one thing i can push them aside but i care about them more than me ion need to see that LOL akdslkjsiso so yeah 💔

#ask #can we talk more about jimin tho ? 🥹

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evelynhug0 · 2 years

Text

my reaction to this juicy fanfic chapter

okay here we go

this chapter will contain some scenes i really loved and also MORE than that oh my god i am nervous af i feel sick

okay i gotta calm down

fuck ah i am so nervous

i want to cry already

What followed was the happiest time of my life. – i already wanna cry reading this

i am emotional already

She would still help me rehearse my lines after a day on set but now we would do it in bed or on the couch, my head in her lap as she caressed my head. – why are you doing this to me??????? why?????????

we would gravitate around each other like satellites: she was my North Star and I was hers. – help me oh lord

We were shamelessly happy behind our closed doors in our personal safe Heaven. We would kiss without a care until our lips were sore and we greeted the New Year drinking ridiculously expensive champagne and making out in her bathtub. – i want to jump out of the window i swear oh my god i cannot deal with this i cannot deal with this

wear each other’s clothes – bruh… bruh… why….

Evelyn was particularly fond of a forest green cardigan of mine, even if it was a bit tight for her – and we all know why it was a bit tight

(now i have images in my head please help)

I can still see her walking around the house wearing it over her bare skin and lingerie. – why would you do this to me? i want to get so drunk that my brain stops working

GAY SCREAMING TILL MY VOICE STOPS WORKING

I want to kick Don and Ruby

“Yes but not together, of course.” – ouch this hurts

this is unfair

i wish they could have been together publicly (is that how you say it idk)

and if I can’t go with you at my arm, I prefer to go alone. – not me having tears in my eyes

She flashed me one of her shy soft smiles that would turn my knees into butter and reached across the table for my hand. She squeezed it gently. “You know I wish I could go with you so badly…” – you wanna make me cry right? right? because my eyes are filled with tears right now and my heart hurts A LOT i can tell you A LOT

But please stop doing it. – i am getting a stomach ache when i read this

We are so not done – okay everyone i need more vodka. also i am trying so hard not to cry

this is all so moving

my heart hurts that they have to hide

i think this is why i am on the verge of a breakdown right now

one more thing like this and i will cry my heart out

kissing me as if to prove her point – very good, i like that

“Shit, Evelyn, you almost gave a heart attack” – celia, i feel ya bro

ignore me at Audience Appreciation event. – evelyn, bro, please stop torturing celia and me

please wear something awful so I won’t be tempted to look at you. – hmmm yes good i like this

Evelyn could barely keep her hands off me. – not me going from crybaby to horny baby in a second when reading this

take me to church

The whole time I was aching to look at Evelyn, stunning as usual in her signature green dress – fck fck fck fck fck fck vodka

I pretended to be surprised: “Oh, is she here? I didn’t notice”. – ouch

my eyes found her – oh lord

Ironically, that’s the only award where both of us were present, although avoiding each other. – this makes me sad again GREAT

Evelyn shook her head at me, amused. – MY BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¨¨

i want to puke i am so nervous

here it is… THE sentence… oh lord… vodka

my babies

gay screaming

i want to puke

gosh this makes me wanna cry and scream

any sign of amusement on her face immediately melted away. I’ll never forget her words. – holy shit!!! well i will also never forget them hehe

gosh my babies

this scene is so fucking adorable i want to jump out of the window i cannot deal with it

noooooo they should have kissed again

the thought of them kissing till their lips almost fall off make me go !!!!!!!!!!!

Her words stayed with me always and pushed me through every step of the way – SIGHHHHHH

omg celia is so anxious that i get anxious too hahahaha

I hate Ari have I mentioned this

gosh i would have thrown up if i was celia

how did she not poop her pants or faint???

aww i feel sorry for Evelyn

I hate Ruby

stupid biatch

she has always been a forgettable actress – haha yes indeed

ruby who?

“You did it! Holy shit, you did it!” – I love Harry & Celia together

my little gays <333333

don’t touch her Ari!!!

Ruby complimented me, coldly and surely against her will – yeah biatch in your face

awww celia, my little baby

i love you

I certainly meant though what I said next. – bro!!!!!

“And to Evelyn Hugo. Thank you.” – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! I LOVE THIS !!!! ICONIC!!!! I LOVE THIS MOMENT!!!! AAAAAAAAAAH SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! I CAN TOTALLY SEE AND HEAR HER SAYING THIS

I AM IN THIS FUCKING OSCAR THINGY TOO MAN I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING IT IS ALL SO “ALIVE”

I wanted Evelyn – not me doing the “evelyn move” when i read this

we all know what is going to happen next

i cannot deal with that

damn

i mean they all know celia is on top of the world especially now that she has won the oscar… but little do they know about the private party she will celebrate afterwards oh lord

i need vodka

i cannot deal with this

Georgia Peach aaaaaaaah

dear lord please help me i don’t want to die now

Celia, with all due respect, you’re not my type. – ahahahahahahaha (but she’s mine)

And there was only one thing I wanted: to be with Evelyn. – screaming crying throwing up

FUCK I AM SO NERVOUS

NO NO NO NO

OH MY GOD

what i hate is: once i have read it, i will have read it you know??? I WANT THIS KIND OF SCENES FOREVER SO I WILL ALWAYS HAVE A NEW “SURPRISE” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh

i am dumb

okay here we go

I have places to go too, you know – very gay, love it

heheh i have always wondered how she got in the house but now i know

flashing her a teasing smile – holy mother of god please help me

my heart is beating like crazy

i am feeling like a drug addict i swear

i love this feeling

i want it to never ever stop

She smiled back at me, ecstatic. – hmm i need to open windows it is very warm in here suddenly

THIS TENSION I SWEAR

IT IS KILLING ME

not me being a useless horny bi

She laughed and kissed me, cupping my face. – this is like the best movie ever… i can see everything as if it was a goddamn movie playing in front of me

Evelyn was perfection, it was like studying a Picasso…and she was the woman I loved. – i am having a heart attack

why can’t i feel my legs… is this anxiety or vodka

this tension and this love… i am dying

I was touched and filled with so much love for her. – BRO I WANT TO CRY

IT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN…

IT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I NEED TO GET MORE VODKA

I AM NOT READY Y’ALL I AM NOT

OKAY HERE WE GO

I AM SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA

i want to vomit

ok now for real

my heart beats like crazy

but i can do it

here we go

BROOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

OH MY GOD

I AM DOING THE EVELYN MOVE

AND IT WAS ONLY A KISS SO FAR

I AM HAVING A STROKE

this tension oh my god i am going to vomit

unzipping my dress, slow and teasing. I knew she was watching me and the mere thought of it turned me on. – HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM HAVING SUCH A STROKE NOW THE STROKIEST OF THE STROKES

f u c k

FCKFCKFCKFCK

I HAVE NO WORDS

THIS TENSION

GOOD GOD

VODKA

MY HEART BEATS SO FAST

I WILL PUKE

NOT ME SIGHING LIKE CRAZY NOW HAHA

I AM HAVING A STROKE

GOODBYE WORLD

I NEED CHURCH

bro

i need help

therapy

help

my head is exploding

this chapter leaves me wanting more

oh my god

i am blushing like crazy

my face is all red and hot

my head hurts hahaha

i am having a stroke

I AM GOING TO DIE

goodnight

bro

i have no words

my head is empty

holy mother of god

goodbye

#tshoeh #diary #fanfiction

0 notes

chocoenvy · 2 years

Note

I have to do this. We have had Mommy Yae, Mommy Ningguang and Mommy Beidou. Now it is time I say what I have been waiting to, Mommy Signora with a little child god she keeps bundled up in a fur coat and takes with her everywhere.

A little god who had cried upon seeing her because her story was just so sad to them and they were so sorry they couldn't help her. Mommy 'Look at my kid like that again and become a popsicle' Signora with aunt 'Raise your voice to them and I drown you' Mirror Maiden.

Now picture that regardless of gender said little god starts dressing like their mommy and auntie.

You're welcome for the brain rot.

omfg mommy signora <33333 you're such a genius

bruh the way you worded it, child reader is just a little purse dog ALSKFJASFL-

Platonic!Mommy Signora

spiritual part three to the platonic!mommy Yae and platonic!mommy Beidou + Ningguang

Warnings: cult behaviors, a child under 10 is considered god, crying/panic attacks, fluff

~1.5k words

Snow days are any kid's favorite part of the winter season. A day off of school to go and play in the heavy snow. The streets covered in ice and a warm drink of hot cocoa and a fire waiting back at home for you.

It was the best time of the year and your all-time favorite.

Or it should've been anyways.

You strayed a bit too far from home and slipped on some ice, tumbling down into a ditch somewhere that shouldn't have been too far from your home. Yet, when you'd managed to crawl your way out, tears in your eyes and an ache in the foot you'd fallen on, the snow was so thick you couldn't see anything. There were no visible landmarks for you to find your way back home, and for a moment the chilling thought came to mind that you had passed out in the ditch.

It was still daytime though, that much you could tell, so surely you didn't pass out for long. Right? You should be able to find your way home, you weren't that far. You just had to keep walking in this direction... or was it that direction?

You whipped your head in every direction, searching for something to give you that 'aha' moment and let you know where you are.

You found none, you checked and re-checked and checked again, over and over, around and around, finding something that would guide you home. You didn't even notice how hard you were shaking and crying.

Finally, out of frustration and desperation, you flung yourself in a direction you thought would lead you home. If all else failed, maybe you could find a neighbor's house?

You clung tightly onto your coat, it wasn't much especially in this bad of snow. You choked on the cold air and your tears, while the snow did nothing but pick up in pace while you slowed down.

the snow was thickening, going up to your knees as you just covered your face with your arms, unable to see anything and praying that someone would find you soon.

Oddly enough, someone listened to your prayers.

You were shaking, sitting in the snow, your face buried in your arms, and over the howling wind you heard a voice.

"What is that?" The voice was feminine, not familiar, but you still shot your head up.

You squinted through the snow to see three feminine figures. A short one, a taller one, and a very very tall one. Could people even be that tall?

It didn't matter, through your tears you shouted out to them, "Help!" Your voice wavering and desperate.

"Is that a child?" The shocked voice of a much more familiar voice broke through the wind.

With her voice, you now recognized her silhouette along with the shorter person's silhouette.

Oh no... you were in trouble.

They were part of the Fatui, they were evil, they had beaten up Venti!

Your breath got stuck in your throat as they approached you, their figures becoming more visible. What would they do to you?

Your teeth chattered from the cold and terror as you squinted to look up at the three women. The tallest one leaned down, her arms wrapping around you and picking you up easily.

"They're shaking like crazy. I don't think they're from Snezhnaya. I don't recognize them and surely a child from Snezhnaya would know not to be out at a time like this." She placed a hand on your neck to check your pulse.

Instinctively, you rested your head in the crook of her neck, seeking some type of warmth. You found scraps of it, but it wasn't enough to soothe your freezing body.

The lady with the complicated outfit - the one that beat up Venti - sighed roughly, "Give them to me." She held out her arms.

You were limp as you were passed off, your head weakly laying against her shoulder.

She brushed your hair out of your face, softer than you were expecting her gloved hands to be, "Let's head back," She turned, her bitingly cold, dull blue eyes lingered on your form, "If this child is not from Snezhnaya then it becomes a foreign affair and possible security issue. We'll need to figure out why this child is here, and to properly ask them we'll need to get them somewhere warm..."

She spoke about things you couldn't properly understand, but the entire time her gaze was on you. Staring at you with an odd glint in her eyes. You couldn't bring yourself to care because she was warm. Despite much of her skin showing, it was radiating heat you desperately needed.

You yawned against her skin, cuddling more into her warm body. You could feel her grip on you stiffen, but you couldn't bring yourself to care or really notice before your eyes shut and your consciousness slipped between your fingers.

*~*

The first thing you felt when you woke up was fingers playing with your hair while you sat in someone's lap. That wasn't too strange, you thought, sometimes your mom got a little sappy and held you. Or maybe you just fell asleep on her again.

"Childe." You froze as she spoke, her voice harsh, "You didn't even knock."

That was not your mother.

Where were you? The memories from last night (yesterday? How long had you been asleep?) flooded your senses. A shiver ran down your spine as you recalled how cold it was.

The (evil?) lady felt your shiver and huddled you closer to her. How could a human be this warm? Was she an alien? Were you being held by an alien right now?!

"I wanted to see them..." He was right next to you, "Is it really..?" He whispered delicately, as though afraid to break something.

"Leave them alone. They're tired." Despite her cold voice, she was so oddly warm as she held you. The dichotomy had your head spinning.

You could hear the pout in the man's voice (was it a man? He sounded like one but she called him a child) as he mumbled something incoherent. His heavy footsteps left the room again, hesitating at the door before it shut.

Just by a bit, the woman relaxed, "I know you're up."

You jumped, your eyes snapping wide open and meeting hers. They were... warm. Or more lukewarm, like melted water. Still, they made you freeze up.

"Calm down, little one, if I wanted to harm you I would've done so already." Her confident voice was quieter and calmer.

Just a bit, you calmed down, but you still pulled away from her hold. She let you, and you climbed off of her lap.

"Whe- where am I?" Your voice was barely a whisper, your eyes darted around the room unable to leave her form yet you couldn't meet her eyes.

"You're in Snezhnaya, the land of frost ruled over by the Tsartisa. Tell me, how did you get here?" Her tone made you shiver no matter how nice she tried to make her words seem, "We found you in the middle of a snowstorm, half-frozen."

"I'm- I- I don- I don't know..." You sniffled, clasping your hands together. Now that you were fully aware, you noticed you had a large and warm coat on. "I was playing in the snow outside my house and then the storm kept on getting worser and worser. I didn't even know snow could get that bad! Then- then you and those other ladies found me!" Fat tears were already starting to roll down your cheeks again. "Momma told me to not go far I-" you hiccupped, "I didn't mean to!"

"Shh," The lady gently placed her hand on your face, giving you the option to pull away. You didn't. She wiped the tears away, "She knows you didn't mean to, trust me, she knows."

You whimpered.

"Little one, can you tell me where your house is? Is it in Snezhnaya? Fontaine?"

You sniffled and blurted out the the first thing that came to mind. You weren't even sure what it was, you just knew you that you lived there.

She hummed, and the look on her face didn't say anything good, "I see, I'm afraid... your home is nowhere near here. Are you even from Teyvat?"

"Teyvat..?" You whispered. It clicked, finally, that you weren't home. You were so, so far away from home and your only comfort was her. Evil and mean and hurt your friends, but the only thing warm.

You choked on tears and buried your head in your hands. Despite being a "big kid", you cried like you were four years old on the first day of school. Like it was the first time you'd been somewhere without your mom. Though, this time, you weren't sure if you'd see her again.

"Oh dear," The evil lady's voice held a frown as she scooped you back up into her arms. You didn't struggle. "Hush, little one, it's alright. You'll be okay." Her fingers entangled in your hair and her other hand rubbed your back.

You sniffled, curling in on yourself as the evil lady comforted you. Despite how mean she'd been to Venti, how evil she looked when she beat him up, she was so so warm. And you couldn't help but think that maybe she was nicer than you thought.

#sagau #choco.asks #genshin cult au #genshin self aware #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #la signora #child!god love #child!reader #the urge i had to make this puppet au THE URGE-#NO BC THEN YOU AND SIGNORA WOULD BE THE PARENTS TO THIS ADORABLE CHILD #AND LIKE- IM SUCH A SIGNORA SIMP PLS SHE'S SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#pretty women my weakness-

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lilevixen · 3 years

Text

AOT Eating Out HeadCanons

Characters: Armin Arlert and Eren Jaeger

•*Warning- 18+ Content* Heavy sexual themes and mentions of oral sex (female receiving) and slight humiliation•

Armin Arlert

Please cuz Armin would absolutely LOVEEEE eating you out

He’s almost always the one to initiate it (once ya’ll get comfortable w each other ofc)

He sees it as getting to know the body that he loves so much even better, like a hands-on experiment of sorts that shows him what you like

And you know this boy is observant as FUCK so it doesn’t take him long to get in-tune with your body

Every little noise you make, every arch of your back or twitch of your thigh, he’s logging it in his brain for future reference

Like he’d change the pace and stiffness of his tongue on your clit with his slender fingers curled inside you, taking note of every minute change in your reactions.

“She really likes that, I should do that more”,“Ah she’s not really into that”, “Fuck she feels incredible clenched around my fingers like this, I’m definitely doing something right.”

And God does he LOVE your reactions

This man is literally in heaven between your legs, inner thighs glistening with arousal, your body a hot, trembling mess at the mercy of his touch

Knowing that he’s responsible for you feeling so good turns him on more than anything else

Like it REALLY turns him on you don’t understand

When he sees you start to shudder and your legs close around him-&-9-9 he LOSES it

He would 100% moan into you as he’s eating you out

Face shimmering with sweat, blonde strands of hair clinging to his flushed forehead as his glossy eyes drink in the sight of you

Your taste, your smell, your skin, the fact that you’re even letting him do this to you and that you were feeling so good bc of it-that’s all he needs for a hot rush of pleasure to reach his pulsating cock

He’ll grind his hips into the bed as he’s doing it to relieve the aching need for you swelling in his dick only to end up CUMMING just from eating you out

He probs cums like 75% of the time he eats u out

Sometimes he won’t even need to stimulate himself, just the sight of you sprawled before him, sweaty and writhing from what his unrelenting tongue is doing to you is enough to send him over the edge

You’re just so STUNNING

And be ready to hear that A LOT

He cannot stop praising you, in general, but especially while eating you out

“Fuck y/n how’d I get so lucky?” “mmm you look so good spread open like that” “You’re so beautiful babe”

His favorite position to eat you out is missionary just bc he likes having a good view of that pretty face of yours, but he also loves it when you ride his face hehe

Also be prepared for an occasional wandering tongue

He likes to tease your asshole a little sometimes just to hear you squeal lol

His head game is 12/10 trust

Eren Jaeger

Definitely doesn’t do it as much as Armin

Not bc he doesn’t like to

It’s just he can’t see your pussy oozing with your legs spread in anticipation WITHOUT wanting to fuck you silly, simple

That being said, he will do it on occasion when he REALLY wants to drive you insane

And when he does he’s so fucking sloppy with it

Like this man is spitting on it, slapping it, practically motorboating it-

Bruh like are you that wet or is that all just his saliva the world may never know

This man is full of the passion

When he’s doing something he does it with the entirety of his being, and this is no exception

He’s only satisfied when you are giving him the most intense reaction possible

And he will continue to assault you until he’s gotten the reaction he wants

And he’s such an asshole about it too lol

Like just to see how crazy you’ll go, he tells you to stay completely still and if you don’t he’ll stop. And he’ll only resume if you BEG

So he’ll be there holding you down by your hips, his nails biting into the soft flesh above your pelvis, alternating between having his tongue buried impossibly deep inside of you (boy’s got a long ass tongue) and sloppily lapping at ur clit, and when you start move your hips to meet his mouth, he’ll punish you by stopping

“I told you I’d stop and you’re still trying to rub your wet cunt into my face?”

“Tell me how desperate you are. Tell me how much you need me and I’ll continue”

He LOVES having that power over you

On the topic of him being an asshole, he’ll lowkey embarrass you by calling out how crazy you’re going for him

For example, when you start moaning and whining loudly, he’ll say some shit like:

“Why are you so noisy? Does it really feel that good?”

“If it was my dick fucking up that pretty pussy of yours the neighbors would swear you’re getting murdered”

Like sir you are doing the MOST what do you expect??

It does feed his ego tho

Oop and ANOTHER thing

It’s almost always his goal to make you squirt

He sees squirting as biological proof that he is capable of making you unravel in the most nasty, vulgar way possible.

And he likes seeing you all messy

After you finish he’ll stand back and admire you, marveling at how spent you were just from his fucking mouth alone

“Turn around. Let me get a good look at you”

He’ll just be there practically salivating at the sight of your ass in the air, thighs glossy with wetness gliding down your skin in fat, slimy streams

His cock is ready to burst at this point so just be prepared for a LONGGGG night

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 2 years

Text

These are free use. Enjoy!!! 😜

“Bend the fuck over…sexy…”

“You heard about me that’s why you’re here?”

“You look at me with my dick in your mouth.”

“Don’t forget the balls.”

“You’re my little slut?”

“Gag on that dick.”

“Suck it and fuck it.”

“Her throat is available anytime daddy wants.”

“Bounce that tight pussy on this dick.”

“This dick in your ass got that pussy dripping.”

“Get on your knees for me…”

“It’s been a minute since I gave someone a facial…”

“I’m not pulling out.”

“I drop dick off for real.”

“I love when it gets creamy.”

“I’m not what you’re used to.”

“She not texting back tonight bruh.”

“I’m tryna eat you with them heels on.”

“It’s been too long since those juices been on my face.”

Come over real quick so we can talk.”

“I need this swallowed today.”

“Which hole should I stuff first?”

“I’m the man you want to take home to your parents....and the man you want to fuck you when they’re in the next room.”

“I need a good girl who’s eyes sparkle when I wrap her hair in my fist.”

“There’s only one kind of sex I need right now 😈🖤”

“Choke on my boy’s dick while I fuck you from the back.”

“Yes I’m Dominant. Yes I still want you to sit on my face.”

“My wooden antique paddle needs a playmate who likes being on all fours.”

“When I look at you I automatically think about what your face looks like when I push inside you for the first time.”

“I’m ok with being your filthy secret, baby…”

“I know I keep looking at you. It’s because I’m going to fuck you.”

Wide awake in the dark fantasising about being ridden hard by a good girl.

“Real Dominance is a state of mind. It’s not an act.”

Wide awake in the dark, mind racing, rock solid.

“My obsession is to have you as my possession. Adored, spoilt and mine.”

“I want to squeeze you, spank you, fuck you, cuddle you, but ultimately adore you.”

“Repeat after me…face down, ass up.”

“To be blunt…I want to cum over your nipples”

“I bet I’m kinkier than you.”

When I look at you my heart beats faster, my big dick throbs and my eyes glisten with desire.

Women who get wet at watching a guy cum are dangerous.

“Every time I look at you I want to make you mine.”

“I'm tryna put somebody’s daughter in a headstand and suck her pussy until it's throbbing.”

“Do you wanna see me cum again?”

In the mood to fuck some pussy until it's sloppy wet I'ma fill it up.

“Cum on this dick baby.”

“What if I shove my fat dick inside you & give you a stomach full of this nut!?”

Man I swear my girl ain't never gonna leave the house without cumming first.

Just got home from the gym, his dick won't stop getting hard and jumping. why the fuck does he get so horny after a workout!?

“I wish I was there so I could push myself inside you…fuck you while sucking on your nipples and your neck…calling you a filthy little slut while you cum wrapped around my fat dick… I'm choking you and humping your fucking brains out…”

“You gonna bounce on this dick and drain me for every drop?”

“Just like that baby, let it out.”

“All I do at work is daydream about licking and sucking on your clit.”

“That throat is mine😈”

“My demon time is nothing nice 😈”

“Make daddy proud.”

“Play with it while I’m stroking that pussy.”

“Ride me like you miss me.”

“do you think your little pussy will be aching between your legs while I warm you up?”

“I want your pussy to get so fucking drenched for me tonight.”

“Come grind on Daddy’s thigh, beautiful.”

“You like that don’t you baby?”

“Needy for me even in your sleep? Such a naughty little thing.”

I swear she knows I’m watching her. Watching her spread her legs for me. Not to much, but enough for me to know she isn’t wearing anything beneath her skirt. She knows my weaknesses, she knows what drives me crazy. Why else would she be giving me that smile? She looks at me with those eyes, the same eyes I can’t help but get lost in. I watched as she glided her finger to her now exposed area only to bring it back to her mouth to suck on it. She knows I want her now more than ever. She can see it on my face. Teasing me in a place like this. Oh how naughty has my little girl become.

“It's okay baby no worries you're not in trouble. Daddy just wants you to open your pretty little mouth for him that's all.”

“Baby your moans sound so pretty while daddy gently licks your pretty little pussy.”

“You love it when Daddy breeds your needy little hole don’t you Princess?”

“I could just lick every inch of that.”

He’s a good deal older than her, but that’s what she wants…isn’t it? She likes his rough touch. The way he took her. A firm hand holding her tight like a driver that knows how to maneuver her body just right. It takes a lifetime to learn. If she let’s him take control, he’ll fill her with love and warmth. His promise.

“That’s my good girl, I’ll take any hole I want.”

“Give daddy this pussy.”

“Open wide and serve.”

“It’s the way her eyes look into the camera with her legs spread showing off that pussy.”

“My dick would slide in so fucking easy.”

He needed to find himself a woman who wants to be man handled with ferocity and adoration.

“The truth is…I miss you.”

“Kissing you is the thing I dream of the most.”

Just when she felt the slightest doubt that he’s her daddy, he kisses her pussy softly through her panties to remind her that she’s his precious lil princess.

“just like that baby.... there’s my good girl, just like that”

“Leave it up to Daddy to take care of that.”

“If you’re a princess you deserve a cute collar i’m sorry but i don’t make the rules.”

His fingers worked fast and deep, his pretty shy sub in front of the mirror on his lap. Her eyes would look into the mirror and every time she would become too embarrassed. He noticed, his fingers stopping only to tell her, "I want you to see how much of a horny slut you are for me princess".

“I just want to finger you till your body shakes, eyes roll in the back of your head, non stop cumming while I tell you what a good little whore you are for me.”

“Oh, you’re horny? That’s cute. Come hump my leg about it like the pathetic impatient little slut you are while I decide if I wanna fuck you or not.”

He wakes her up in the middle of the night. It’s two, three, some obscene hour that has her blinking slowly as she turned over to him, mumbling out, “What’s wrong?” And when she turned over, she sees it; the flush of his cheeks, the darkness of his eyes, his dick between his legs, and she knows before he even speaks how this is going to end.

“This daddy only fills his babygirl until it’s leaking out of her.”

“I need you to kneel for me okay, precious? You’ll stay still and be good for me, yeah? What an angel. You’re always so so pretty for me.”

You ever just think about someone and go wow I want to make them cum

“I wanna make your pussy so sensitive it has a heartbeat.”

You can watch netflix while I suck your pussy.”

“I Just wana squeeze all that asssss.”

“I bet if i dick’d you down, you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

“I get pleasure from making you cum.”

“The way you say my name makes me feel like I’m that nigga”

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