#but I didn't see it said in That Particular Way

[yoursweetwife]

Did you know that...

warnings: female reader (pronouns are not used, so you can read as male), fluff, mention of Aventurine, Aventurine (a separate warning for him), display of affection, attempt at flirting

Synopsis: Ratio's attempt to surprise you didn't go as planned.

p.s. I don't like writing dialogues, but this idea seemed too interesting to me

"[Name]."

You shuddered in surprise and looked up from the papers you had been looking through for the last hour. Your gaze fell on Ratio, standing not far from you. The serious gaze did not waver, even when you smiled at him.

“Oh, Veritas, I didn’t notice you came, I’m sorry. How are you doing?”

You smiled awkwardly and clutched the paper, your heart still racing from fear. For a split second, a guilty expression appeared on his face, but it quickly gave way to a thoughtful one, as if he was deciding on something.

Ratio began to slowly approach the sofa where you were sitting. Sweat formed on your face due to the uncharacteristic silence coming from your lover.

"Veritas? Is everything okay?"

You asked worriedly, tilting your head, and if he didn’t know how to control himself, he would definitely have smiled. Eons, you were too sweet.

Ratio grinned and leaned towards your face, one of his arms resting on the back of the couch, allowing his body to completely cover you in shadow. You felt like your face was burning right now, this situation was very strange, but you couldn't deny that you were enjoying it. There was a beautiful view of his muscular body and arms, and the warmth emanating from his body made you squirm in place in anticipation...

"Did you know that penguins find a partner for life??"

You were silent for a few seconds, trying to process the question. If he saw the look of complete shock on your face, he definitely just ignored it. He still had a smirk on his face, apparently taking this as his cue to continue.

"Will you be my penguin?"

"Pen-penguin...Pfft"

You quickly covered your mouth with your hand and turned away from Ratio to contain your uncontrollable laughter. Veritas looked at you incredulously, this was all contrary to his original plan!

He watched as you held your stomach, your red face was visible even through the veil of hair, and snatches of loud laughter somehow slipped out, making Ratio feel like an idiot.

"That's the last reaction I expected to see from you."

Ratio furrowed his eyebrows in irritation and crossed his arms over his chest.

You finally took control of your will, quickly stood up and took his hand, preventing Veritas from leaving.

"Sorry, sorry."

You spoke quietly, still recovering your breath from the sensation of laughter.

"It was just so unexpected, were you... trying to flirt?"

You smiled cheerfully, making Veritas’s heart beat faster. Oh, he could have sworn the room was getting hot.

"Veritas, don't turn away!"

You stood on your tiptoes and took Ratio's face in your hands. He sighed irritably, what a pity that his mask is not with him now. He cleared his throat and looked at you, immediately noticing the happy smile on your face.

"I read that flirting helps make a relationship more 'romantic'. I thought you'd like it since I often see you reading romantic nonsense."

You couldn't help but blush when you heard Veritas' words, and your awestruck gaze didn't go unnoticed, making him feel a strange sense of pride.

"You did this for me! Ooh that's so cute..."

Your arms wrapped around Ratio's neck, pressing your bodies together. The scientist's hands found your waist and he had to lean down so you could kiss his cheek. But immediately one question popped into your head.

"But why did you decide to choose this..."

You were too curious as to why he decided to choose this particular line. An irritated grimace appeared on his face, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, which at least helped to hide his embarrassment.

"Perhaps I asked Aventurine for help."

Well, those words said it all. You put your hand over your mouth to hide your smile, and your man seemed to notice. He ran his hand through his hair, mentally cursing the blond.

“This gambler, I immediately found his enthusiasm suspicious.”

Aventurine’s smug face immediately appeared in his mind. He slowly twirls the glass of champagne in his hand, deftly leaning over his colleague's shoulder.

“What's this here? I never thought I'd see a seduction guide in your hands, have you really decided to be a romantic for the first time in your life. Haha, you’re lucky, my friend, I’m an expert in this matter.”

You quickly took his hand and squeezed it softly. A quiet laugh escaped your lips, having a sedative effect on Veritas.

“Just don’t kill Aventurine, I still have to play cards with him.”

"Don't expect me to let him get close to you at all after this."

Veritas sat down on the couch, crossing his legs, and you immediately followed him, clinging to his side and resting your chin on his broad shoulder.

"Don't be mad, his idea actually worked." He instantly perked up and looked at you incredulously.

"Really?"

You pulled his face down with one hand, kissing his cheek passionately, practically squeezing both sides of his face.

"Of course. But did he advise you anything else?"

Ratio instantly reached into his pocket and pulled out a notebook.

"Thirty lines, however, I would prefer to forget about this situation and return to our normal routine, but if you are wondering.."

"That's right!"

You said loudly and snatched the book, scaring Veritas with a sudden movement. The only thing you wanted now was to relax in the arms of your loved one, and not look at the list of phrases taken by Aventurine on some forum, although knowing him, he could come up with them himself. You can discuss this with blonde a little later.

"How about a shared bath?"

Your proposal was met with a quiet chuckle, but his gaze immediately softened, relax in hot water next to you? He wouldn't refuse.

"Sounds great."

You may have stopped a murder today.

#dr ratio x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #female reader #dr ratio #honkai star rail #dr ratio fluff

[pablitogavii]

Protecting her

Life with Pablo Gavi, the boy everyone adores, and I hate with all my passion not for any particular reason. I actually tried making peace with him the moment I stepped foot into his house at the beginning of my exchange program.

I tried to be nice, to even become his friend but he would always push me away and find some reason to fight me. Even Aurora and his parents tried to make us like each other but it didn't work so I just deiced to stay out his way..somehow that didn't stop him to sabotage me every step of the way all the freaking time!

leo: look at what your brother did to me! boy is a delinquent! I can't do this anymore Y/n..I'm sorry.

There was a picture attached of my soon to become boyfriend with bruised eye and busted lip. Did Pablo really did this just so Leo dumps me knowing it would spite me!?

I heard stumbling and rushed towards the front door to comfort Pablo about this. I was done staying on the sidelines and letting him do whatever he pleased just because I am guest at this house..this is MY life he was messing with for his own amusement!

"Why did you do it!? Tell me he said something to provoke you? Tell me you weren't just trying to spite me by doing this Pablo.." I said but he completely ignored me, like I was invisible, unimportant and that drove me mad.

"No! You're going to start listening to me! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO LEO!!??" I said pushing him against the wall with all my strenght which was not possible unless he let me do it.

"Hm..or what if I don't listen chiqui? What will you do to me precious..huh??" he pushed back and I needed up glued on the wall in the matter of seconds. I gulped..he was so close..and I was no longer angry at him..I was tired of this whole "hate" thing.

"I'm tired of this Pablo..just leave me alone!" I said trying to push him but he wouldn't budge looking down at my face like he was lost in thought. I would give up everything ot know what he was thinking right now.

"P..please.." I was close to tears yet again being dumped not to mention that all my "friends" here only hang out with me thinking they will get to meet my new "brother"..I just wanted to be left alone by everyone especially Pablo Gavi who made this whole trip horrible!

"Fine.." he moved and i walked away not knowing that something in him broke seeing me so sad in front of him knowing he was the reason for it.

I was crying rather loudly knowing his parents and Aurora are not here and Pablo probably didn't even care about it. I was very wrong since he was glued to my door listening to each sound until finally opening the door and walking closer to the bed.

"Stop crying.." he said and I realized that he was indeed there watching me, probably in amusement.

"Leave me alone asshole!" I yelled feeling the bed move as he laid behind me making my whole body contract especially when his strong arms wrapped around my body..what was this nervousness and why did it feel so good to be held by him!?

"Please stop crying...if you like Leo that much I'll stay away.." he said while his hands were tracing invisible shapes on my bare skin making shivers moving down my spine and make me breathless. I truly didn't care that deeply for Leo..I almost cared more how it was angering Pablo..how I finally gotten some type of reaction out of him. I slowly moved turning around in his embrace to face him.

"It's not about Leo..it's about you..why can't you just stop hating me!?" I spoke my hand moving to his face caressing it gently and he let me do it for a few moments closing his eyes looking like he was enjoying it..maybe Pablo felt something for me..maybe I did for him too..maybe that's this tension between us..maybe it's love?

"Because you're annoying!" he pulled away and that gentle caring Pablo vanished in a matter of a second and he was back to being hateful asshole..he only wanted to feel in control and I gave him the chance..like an idiot..thinking he was genuine.

Quickly, he was out of my room returning to his crying himself to sleep..he was a coward to speak about his emotions..because I am not permanent..I will leave him soon and he couldn't afford to get attached.

Weeks went by and I couldn't sleep without imaging those strong arms wrapped around me. Leo asked me to try again but I rejected him..I couldn't stop thinking about my "gentle" Pablo wondering if that was his true nature..I wanted to get to him again..to feel that way again..to understand him.

"Are you ready hermanita?" Aurora said and I met her outside as she was my ride to the stadium for El Classico. I rarely went to his games thinking he would hate me there, but today I wore his jersey and went with the rest of his friends with pride. I wanted him to look me in the ye and tell me hates me if he does so much!

y.n.bebe

Rora and me at #ElClassico ❤️❤️

comentarios:

gvirafans: with Gavi jersey👀

aurorapaezg: hermanitaa💗

belengavira: pretty girls ❤️❤️

pablogavi: ❤️

I saw his comment..he probably did it because people would talk if he didn't..but a heart..it felt special..and made me even more determined to get close to him again.

During the game, Gavi was comeptlely focused as always wanting to win against the biggest enemy. Barca was better but it was frustrating that no ball would finally enter the goal..and time was running out till end of first half.

"I saw that new hermanita of yours..hmm..the things I'd do to her body" Vini provoked and Gavi lost it kicking the ball into the audience and walking towards him while everyone pushed him backwards and referee showed him a red card.

"Say that again hijo de puta!? Let me hear you say it again!" Pablo was not stopping until Xavi himself pulled him away from the pitch giving him a whole lecture about being more mature player.

"It was a good game hermano" Aurora said when we met with Pablo since Barça still ended up winning. Pablo was still heated and seeing me there wasn't helping.

"It's all her fault!" he said pointing at me in front of everyone and I looked away sadly..he was trying to hate me so I give up but I'm not giving up that easily because i know what I felt that night is real!

"Leave her alone! She did nothing wrong!" Aurora tried defending me but I was done being silent walking towards him bravely.

"Let's leave them alone.." Pablo's guy friends said and everyone left as the two of us stood there across from each other not saying a single word. Two can play this stupid game Gavi!

"What did I do to you huh!? Why don't you admit that you don't actually hate me Pablo?? I know you don't.." I said touching his sweaty jersey but he pulled away quickly like he was scared..

"Don't touch me!" he yelled expecting me to turn away and run but I moved closer again.

"Why? What are you sacred of when I touch you huh?"I said once again touching his chest and this time he didn't move staring at my lips longingly.

"Chiqui don't.." he whispered when I moved closer feeling my cheeks blush at the new nickname he chose..the feeling was back and I didn't want to lose it.

"Why?" I asked touching his face and again he closed his eyes as his hands wrapped around my waist pulling me even closer as our chests touched.

"B..because I won't be able to hold myself back" he whispered as we both opened around eyes looking into each other.

"P..Pablo.." I said breathlessly moving even closer but then Leo's familiar voice interrupted our little moment and Pablo pulled away angrily.

"Please let's talk Y/n..about us" Leo said and I internally cursed seeing Pablo's disappointed look as he just walked away without a word..freaking great!

"Is she coming?" Aurora asked

"She has another ride" Pablo said annoyingly reminding himself why he put up a wall..last thing he needed is to get hurt by a girl right now.

"No! I don't!" I said rushing after them after telling Leo I was done with him and sitting in the backseat next to Pablo whose jaw was clenching and he was clearly angry.

"He understood that it's over.." I whispered to Pablo but he was unfazed..once again like he didn't care. Here we go again!

"I don't care!" he whispered back before going on his phone as I sighed loudly besides him.

That night I couldn't sleep..I couldn't have him mad at me anymore..I did maybe the stupidest thing in the world walking to his room in the middle of the night. Luckily he was awake..

"P..Pablo.." I said and he turned around sitting in his bed with a surprised look on his face.

"Go away!" he said but I moved closer standing in front of him.

"I'm not going anywhere..I know why you hit Leo, he told me what he said to his friend and that you heard him" I said and Pablo looked up with raised eyebrows.

"He said you're alone and he can get with you in a week..and I showed him you're NOT alone" Pablo said and I smiled nodding my head and touching his hair as he looked up at me.

"And Vini?" I asked moving my hand down to his face while he looked at me finally putting down his guard and being vulnerable once again.

"Don't talk to me about that disgusting hijo de puta!" he said angrily and I knew he must have said something about me on the pitch..something that didn't sit right with Pablo and he needed to protect me..something you don't do for a person you "hate".

"Don't get angry.." I said and he nodded feeling more sad than angry while his hands snaked around my waist and he pulled me in kissing my stomach over my dress and I breathed heavily.

"I can't stop hating you chiqui.."he spoke into my stomach and I sighed raising his chin up and moving to sit on his lap.

"Why Pablo?" he said moving his hair back and he leaned into my touch as his face went into my neck and he started kissing my skin passionately.

"Because you're leaving me so soon..and I don't want to lose someone I love so much.."he finally said what's been on his mind for awhile and I felt my heart banging against my chest.

"So you decided to hate me? Why didn't you just ask me to stay with you??" I said with a smile and he was surprised to hear me say those words looking up into my eyes hopefully.

"And would you stay for me chiqui?" he said while I held his face and his hands tightly held onto my waist.

"Hmm it depends.." I said smirking moving in and he gulped once again looking at my lips longingly and I smiled.

"On what chiqui??"he smirked and I blushed to scared to tell him what I wanted right now..I just wanted him to finally kiss me.

"Hm..let me guess then" he held my face pulling me in and kissing my lips hungrily making me breathless but never happier. Then he pulled away..and I wanted to cry..I was so tired of these games and I just wanted to be with him!

"Please don't push me away again..please" i latched onto his shoulder and he smiled kissing the top of my forehead before pulling me in bed with him letting me lay my head on his strong chest.

"I'm never letting you go again precious.." he said as I looked up kissing him again as we continued to make out pulling onto each others clothes int he heat of the moment...

#gavigif #gavi #fc barça #fc barca #fc barcelona #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavira #gavi x reader #gavi x you #gavi x yn

[starlight-bread-blog]

The Fortune in The Fortune Teller

This is an isolated look into this specific episode.

The Fortune Teller is the 14th episode of book 1 of Avatar: The Last Airbender. It is famous for supposedly developping the show's romantic subplot between Katara and A\ang. The episode does two things: A\ang attempts to flirt with Katara, and Katara is finally willing to consider him as more than just a friend.

However, I believe that this episode could have masterfully foreshadowed the pair not getting together in the end. In this essay I will detail how each step the episode takes towards a Kat@ang endgame is actually foreshadowing the opposite.

1. Katara and the Nature of Destiny

In the beginning, the Gaang meets a person getting attacked by a bear. He is acting incredibly passive, simply dodging the bear's attemps at his life. Then, A\ang and Appa interfere to help the man. When the Gaang questions him on why he was so passive, he says it's because the Fortune Teller told him he'd have a safe journey. They then have the following exchange:

The man's logic is obviously flawed. If the Gaang didn't interfere, if the man continued to passivaly dodge, the bear would have attacked him. Fortune and destiny come from agency – from actively shaping them.

However, Katara is delaited at the prospect of seeing the future. Her and the Gaang go to meet the Fortune Teller, Aunt Wu. Aunt Wu tells her she'll marry a very powerful bender. Later, she comes back asking more details about her future husband. Remember her excitment, fantacising about her future husband:

After that, Katara becomes somewhat reliant on Aunt Wu's prophecies. She goes as far as to ask her what she should eat.

And she obeys her "prophecy", despite not wanting to. She became like the man from the beginning. She knowingly follows the fortune even though it doesn't make sense. She had given up on forging her own destiny.

Although by the end of the episode, she is no longer in this state of reliance, she still believes in the prophecies. Then, Sokka says that A\ang is a very powerful bender. This reminds her of what Aunt Wu said about her future husband. I don't want to cherry pick, so I took 4 different pictures of her face when she realizes A\ang might be the powerful bender she is to marry:

With the look in her eyes, with her mouth tilted down and with the ominous music, this could easily be read as disappointment. Especially when remembering how she fantacized about the powerful bender earlier in the episode. She doesn't smile, but looks concerned. As if she doesn't want this. Earlier in the episode, she says this:

A\ang is like the papaya. The fortune says he's right for her, but Katara doesn't want him. Now, she isn't like the man, passively dodging the bear attacking her. She shouldn't sit and wait for the prophecy to come true point blank. She has the agency to shape her own destiny and not to choose A\ang as her future husband.

2. A\ang, Meng, and First Crushes

In this episode we're introduced to a girl named Meng. Aunt Wu told her she'd end up with someone like A\ang, and so she developped a one sided crush on him. Throughout the episode she attempts to talk to him, all to no avail. Because A\ang is not interested in her.

Interestingly, her one sided crush is directly paralleled to A\ang's crush on Katara.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Please note that in exhibits B and C in particular, there is an emphasis on the other party not reciprocating their feelings.

In this parallel the show draws, A\ang is Meng, the younger, shorter one the one who is in love; and Katara is A\ang, the older, taller one who... *checks notes*... doesn't reciprocate.

But in the end, A\ang and Meng have a heart-to-heart.

Sometimes you'll like someone, and they aren't going to feel the same way, and even though it's hard, it's okay. They're young, just kids having a crush. A\ang responds to this with "I know what you mean". Because he, just like the audience that watched the parallels, knows that Katara likely doesn't return his feelings.

———————

In conclusion, The Fortuneteller could have been brilliant foreshadowing to Kata\ang not being the endgame couple, and it would have done so through beautiful, mature lessons about first loves and destiny. Thank you for reading.

#anti kataang #zutara #atla critical #anti anti zutara #pro zutara #zutara analysis #zutara evidence #zutara forever #zutara meta #zutara nation #zutara should have been canon #zutar #zutara supremacy #zuko x katara #katara x zuko #katara #meng

[shadowtraveled]

would love to know your thoughts on rinsha dunmeshi. or on rin and kabru :-)

OH!! i love rin honestly lightning damage and unaffiliated spellcasters will get me every time.

i would have loved to see more of her, but i do really enjoy kui's style of storytelling where she gives us the information about a character that will tell us exactly what she wants us to know. it reminds me of the way someone described suzanne collins' writing as surgically precise—she has more information about characters and the world, but she included what would get her story across most effectively. kui gives off a similar impression, and i think rin is a good example of that.

sorry readmore because that was getting long already.

rin's backstory is really interesting to me because it helps us to extrapolate so much more about the world and the other characters in it.

for what it's worth, i don't think it's terribly likely that her parents were practicing ancient magic. they were immigrants of a visibly different ethnicity, though, and they were magic users, which othered them doubly in the northern continent, and that otherness cost them their lives. this is sort of a running theme in dungeon meshi overall ofc, but i think a lot of discussion surrounding dungeon meshi discrimination focuses on the elves. which is fair, since they seem to be the most significant world power and they're weird race elitists as elves in fantasy frequently are, but the story does not want us to forget that discrimination is complex and so is otherness. tallmen may not be respected by long-lived races, but in communities where they do have power, they're still perfectly capable of leveraging it against others. they seem to have a particular bias against magic, but really anything people deem weird or creepy is enough to land you in trouble: laios faced constant rejection and, in some cases, severe harassment just for being autistic; kabru's eye color was enough to push his mother to the fringes of society and get her accused of witchcraft, suggesting that "weird or creepy" is regularly conflated with "magic" in tallman societies; and falin's affinity for magic led to her isolation and ostracism as her mother frantically tried to suppress it. rin's parents, meanwhile, were outright executed. the nature of these reactions to anything unfamiliar or non-standard are definitely meant to convey something about tallman societies in the world, but i think rin and kabru's situations specifically lend some explanation as to why falin is so forgiving of her parents. they didn't really know what to do with her, and some of the things they did to her were harmful, but she seems to see them as trying their best to protect her, perhaps because she knows the emergence of her magic could have put her in immediate physical danger but didn't.

with that being said, i'm surprised rin doesn't have more of an aversion to tallmen, but maybe kabru made enough of an impression on her that she developed some hope for them.

her dislike of elves, meanwhile, is entirely understandable—her interactions with them seem to be framed as emblematic of how they treat short-lived races in a way we don't really see with the others. milsiril objectifies short-lived races but does seem to... kind of care, otta fetishizes them but seems to... kind of care, mithrun's squad only get to be patronizing for a bit before it becomes apparent they bit off way more than they could chew, and mithrun isn't invested in these designations anymore. but the elves that found rin treated her like evidence, then like a toy, and then they got bored and ignored her, and then she was evidence again, and then she got adopted out to elves who kept her like they would a pet. miserable fucking experience, and a very thorough and efficient way of expressing just how little the elves are socialized to consider the humanity of the other races.

as for her relationship with kabru... i'm glad they had each other around. it's impossible to be surprised that she latched onto him in her circumstances, and i think it's sweet that she was the one he stuck with (despite the implication that milsiril was raising other children alongside him that he ostensibly would have spent more time with).

i also love how apparent their closeness is! rin gravitates to kabru, and if i'm remembering right, most of the time she speaks it's to him. that immediately established to me that she is uniquely comfortable with him, and interestingly it goes both ways! it's less apparent with kabru, because he's a lot more social than she is, but vitally, he lets the mask slip with her. she's the only character he goes out of his way to tease, and sometimes he takes it a little bit into "alright that was kind of mean" territory, which sucks of him but is kind of the point. kabru's interactions with rin are the earliest ones where we see him fuck up or be a little bit of an asshole, and that's almost certainly because she is a person he feels comfortable enough with to not try to game every conversation. kabru being a little bit of a bitch is the first time we see him not trying to be charismatic. and she gives it RIGHT BACK lmfao it really conveys the feeling that these two are kind of "safe people" for each other, even if they're bantering a little meanly. very charming, top-tier childhood friend dynamic, no notes.

editing to add:

^ YEAH THIS IS IT thank you @gerrykeay i think this really captures the spirit of her revulsion with regard to things like magic school (and its graduates), etc... she seems to think of magic school as this sort of lofty opportunity only people with a certain level of social standing are able to access (which seems to hold a level of truth) and reject it on the basis that something like that is fundamentally incompatible with who she is as a person, and that's probably the same reason she remains unaffiliated despite knowing practicing magic without organization ties is potentially dangerous for her. these systems rejected and failed her family and her, so she rejects them in kind.... god i'm so obsessed with the way practically every character has a main character backstory and motivations this really is like a ttrpg lol

#anon #ask #rinsha fana #kabru #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #thank you this was fun to think about #severe problems

[acourtofthought]

@starsreminisce posted these comments on their blog:

And the last paragraph really stood out to me.

Something I've seen said by a certain side of the fandom is that a bonus chapter should not change the trajectory of what is in the actual book. I disagree with that because I look at the bonus chapters as a sneak peek of what's to come in future books (with this particular bonus following the pattern talked about in a post yesterday, with the resolution to the small story pointing us in the direction of Gwynriel), things that Sarah will at a later point expound on within the actual series even if they weren't initially clear to us without having read the bonus.

But say that's the truth, say the bonus chapters are only in line with that which we already know (which still works for Gwynriel because though the bonus hinted at Gwyn having a curiosity towards Az and him possibly having a bond with her, we do see bits of that in the actual book as well, there are scenes with her staring in his direction and scenes where he's staring in hers, where he shows admiration for her, where she's teasing him, where Nesta calls Az her new ribbon).

One of the big arguments is that it's extremely clear that Elain has no interest in Lucien, that it's been the case for multiple books. It's said Elain does not owe Lucien an explanation, that she does not owe him her time or attention.

So why not write an Elain bonus chapter in SF where she and Lucien have a conversation discussing how they don't want to explore their bond? According to E/riels there's no need for it in the first place since she's made herself clear but they have also claimed that she won't break the bond until we have her POV. Then wouldn't a bonus in Elain's POV before her book be the perfect place for something that's so obvious so that when she starts her own book "with Az", there's nothing standing in their way and the focus can be on their romance and the plot and not the emotional toll that her severing her bond with Lucien would take? If the Elucien bond is as much of a non issue as some claim it be be, then why not deal with it in an Elain Bonus Chapter? When her book starts, Sarah could even recap the events of the bonus for those who had missed it.

Elain thought back to that conversation she and Lucien shared shortly after Solstice. Where after Azriel's rejection, which had cut her deeply, she realized there was no place in her heart for anyone but Az even if she wasn't sure he still wanted her.

That would have actually be a perfect way for SJM to move us past the Elucien bond with very little in the way of feeling devastated on Lucien's behalf, where his heart is not being broken in real time within her romantic arc.

But the author didn't do that. She gave Az and FEYRE a POV. Feyre who already had 3 books and a novella and Elain with a total of 0.

We know Az doesn't think Lucien is good enough for Elain but we don't know if Elain agrees with that.

We know Az questioned the Cauldron because of his brothers and her sisters, that he hadn't thought of being with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies but we don't know where Elain stands on the whole "just wants one taste / why wasn't Az made my mate" debate.

We know Az thought of Elain as too trusting and hopeful but we've no clue whether Elain was really thinking anything of the sort.

We've got Feyre thinking back on how she made sure to keep her mouth shut on Elain not wearing Lucien's gloves, how had she put them on she would have never been pierced in the first place but we still don't know whether Elain's actions with the gloves actually line up with her thoughts.

If Sarah wanted to continue on with what is apparently so evident in the four books of buildup for E/riel there was nothing preventing her from finally giving us Elain's POV in SF and having her tell Lucien that there's no reason for him to hold out hope any longer.

The more likely explanation for why Elain wasn't given a bonus is because everything that E/riels and Az claim that is so very obvious regarding Elain's character might actually not be as obvious as they think.

If she's so happy in the NC, then why hide her thoughts?

If she's so in love with Az, that it's clear as day, then why hide her thoughts?

If she's so disinterested in Lucien, then why hide her thoughts?

If we're supposed to believe that Elain's choice is Az, that there is no competition and that it should not be a mystery to anyone at this point, then why has she been so reticent to put us into Elain's head?

#elain archeron #pro elucien #elucien #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra

[strawberrylesbiana]

Cloudy days clear nights

summary: When you grow up in a home where your parents are emotionally absent it affects your life, when your mother wasn't prepared to be a mother and throws all the traumas and insecurities she had at you it's not easy, a father who doesn't know how to apologize and lives drunk and has aggressive tendencies isn't easy to deal with, and reader relapses on a bad day that leaves you stuck in thought and she doesn't tell Natash, leaving her worried.

warnins: angst with happy ending , angst to fluff, use of Y/N sometimes, suicidal thoughts, mention of self-harm and scars from self-harm, Be careful if this triggers you, don't read if you know you can't deal with triggers, you are not alone and don't be ashamed to ask for help.

All the ghosts of the past follow me to this day, they all live in my mind and make me tremble like a child, today in particular was a difficult day, one of those reminiscent of school days.

The day had started well but the mission had gone wrong which had resulted in intrusive thoughts questioning whether she was really worthy of being there with the Avengers, then there was the meeting with Tony where he made a point of reminding her of the mistakes she had made.

At lunchtime there was the problem with the rain and the first phone call from her mother, the more the phone rang the more her appetite went away, there was no putting off the call for long.

The unpleasant voice came from the other end of the phone, things like "why are you still working there?" "you've been in newspapers all over the world, do you know how hard it is to have a daughter who doesn't do anything useful?" "did you really try to do something? of course not, you've always been worthless".

the voice yelled and screamed for a few minutes before hanging up, before Y/N could say anything or defend herself her mother's voice didn't stop and when it did it was because she hung up the phone.

To make matters worse, for the rest of the day her girlfriend, Natasha, was stuck at work until later, when Y/N was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling, she spiraled into a spiral of negative thinking.

she saw herself in high school again, being bullied by her classmates, she saw herself at that time taking out all the anger she felt on herself, she saw herself as the useless girl she had felt all day.

Y/N didn't know when she started crying but she felt the tears dripping from her eyes. She went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, her hair messy with tears and her eyes red.

-How could Natasha like someone like me? - she asked herself, she had scars all over her thigh and wrist, she wasn't even that pretty.

-"Maybe I should just disappear... she wouldn't even notice," she muttered to her reflection in the mirror and sat down on the bathroom floor.

When the redhead returned home in the early hours of the morning, she felt a strange air hanging over the apartment. She walked into the kitchen, where the lights were off and a cold plate was on the sink.-Baby? - Natasha called out as she walked to her room. The light in the bathroom at the end of the corridor was on, which made her follow her there.

-"Honey, are you all right? It's me," Natasha said, trying to open the door and failing. "Honey, open the door," she said in a tone where she was almost begging her girlfriend to open the door.

The lack of response worried Natasha, who began to try to force her way into the bathroom. When the door opened, Natasha almost fell into the bathroom. She saw her girlfriend lying in the bathtub crying.

-Bear?- she said, running over to her girlfriend in the bath and kneeling down outside the bath - Look at me, darling, are you all right? What happened? - she says worriedly, putting her hand on Y/N's cheek.

The woman in the bathtub looks at the redhead and tears fall more than before -You shouldn't see me like this - she says as she looks away from her girlfriend.

-"Sweetheart," the redhead says as she steps into the empty bathtub and pulls her girlfriend onto her lap, "talk to me," she says as she strokes her girlfriend's hair. It took a while for Y/N to finally talk, she looked at Natasha and felt like crying even more.

-Today was so stressful...I made a mistake during the mission and Tony wouldn't let me forget it, so my mom called me...and - Y/N stuttered through her tears - I feel so useless, like I don't deserve this life - Y/N's comment made Natasha's heart sink, the redhead continued stroking the woman's hair in her lap and kissed her forehead.

-"Sweetheart, mistakes happen, life isn't easy but we can't let mistakes consume us, you fought to be here and you deserve all of this, I love you so much," she said, wiping away her girlfriend's tears, "come on, let's go to bed, so I can hug you properly," Natasha said, getting up and helping her girlfriend up too, she held her girlfriend close as they walked to the bed.

-Thank you Tasha - Y/N says as she looks at her girlfriend changing to lie down next to her.

-Thanks for what? - the redhead says, looking at the girl sitting on the bed.

-"For taking care of me...not letting me give up." The girl on the bed says looking at her scarred left arm, Natasha walks over to her and sits down next to her, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers.

-Thank you for what? - the redhead said looking at the girl sitting on the bed.

-For taking care of me...don't let me give up - The girl on the bed said looking at her scarred left arm, Natasha walked over to her and sat down next to her, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers.

-"Honey, you're my girlfriend and I love you more than anything, I'm not going to let you just fall apart, how many times have you helped me, huh? we're a couple, in good times and bad," Natasha says as she pulls the girl close and kisses the scars on her arm. "Those scars just show how strong you are, baby," Natasha says, looking into the eyes of Y/N, who was almost falling asleep in her arms.

-I love you Natasha.

-I love you too Y/N.

#natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #lesbian #sapphic fanfic

[arian-velikan]

Scared for your life

John "Soap" Mactavish x Cagefighter!Male!Reader.

Quick oneshot that jumped on my mind while working on "Judge of your own life", a story featuring Lawyer!Male!Reader x Simon "Ghost" Riley.

Warnings: smut but not that explicit (EVERYTHING IS CONSENSUAL)!, Mild blood, depiction of violence and fluff.

Male!Reader is depicted as 1.90 m (6'2 feet) and John is 1.88 m (6'1 feet).

{Male!Reader} action name: Eos = dawn in ancient greek.

@bnh8

--------------------------🧼-----------------------------

Dead silence filled the ambience. One punch, two punches, a dodge, a taken hit to the temple and the parting of the two contestants.

'What? You too scared to fight me Eos?'.

The stocky builded opponent spoke in a smug tone as he whiped out the blood and warm saliva on his mouth and he narrowed his brown eyes at his enemy.

Eos didn't respond, he locked eye contact seezing the ringing in his ears and the two began to move, circling inside the caged ring like two cats almost prone to fighting.

Eos was more quiet and his steps were more precise while the other's were heavier.

Again, dead silence filled the stadium, and the twp stared at eachother.

In a swift move the two made physical contact and...

'And the winner of this encounter is...Eos!!!'

A man in a black and white shirt and long pants shouted on the dark grey mic as he tugged Eos by the wrist and held it up while white flashes of phones and cheers filled the stadium. News reporters directed the big cameras to the winner as he was looking around while breathing heavily.

The referee then signaler to the medical troup that went to the jaw broken opponent laying on the ring's floor and brought him away while being followed by his trainer and business man.

Eon was now breathing normaly and, after he watched with his empty (eye/color)ed eyes the opponent being brought away, the looked at the referee before smirking and bringing his arms to the hair in victory before doing his signature victory sign (two fist bumbs on his chest and fist on the hair).

Thw crowd was going wild at the gesture and cheered only more.

'Hey hey! bring the camera to him! Like this!!' A news reporter said in an exciting way. 'This is his 30th victory and now he will earn on of the most prestigious prizes for his cathegory!'

While the news reporter spoke, Male!Reader shifted his gaze to the croud searching for a group of people in particular, specifically for a person. He widened and spized his eyes while spinnig slowly on his position trying to find them.

Then they locked eye contact and Eon smiled at them. Four men, sitting in the V.I.P area, two cheering their lungs out while two clapping their hands, the bearded one smiling and nodding and the masked one with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

{Male!Reader} recieved his price, a medium golden throphy with a man putting his left fist in the air and his right hand holding the golden belt of an opponent laying seated unconscius on the front left pillar on the throphy, and went to answer some questions with his manager to some news reporters.

'Damn, knew ya' boyfriend was a beast but not this'

Price said arching his eyebrows and laying on the back of the feather red chair.

'He has some decent skill, went for the unprotected part of the body, the face, and broke is jaw'

Simon adjusted his off-duty black mask and crossed his arms

'That was fucking FANTASTIC!!! Is this like the third round this evening??? I want to see more of him!!!' Kyle was over the ceiling yelling praises like 'Fucking fantastic' or 'We want to see more of you'.

John was proud of the cage fighter and he had a smile as big ad his cheeks could allow it and looked at the rest of his team on leave.

'Told you all, but I'm glad y'all adored the show, eheh, ain't dis a good one?'.

'Yer right, though I got a bit worried as he played the second match'

Laswell said while sighing and looking at her wife as she agreed and looked at the empty stadium.

After all of the people went away, they went down the stairs and waited for {Male!Reader} to exit the changing room. After he reached them they all chatted away to the main doors.

'Kid you got some fine moves! No wonder why it took you only some well placed punches to take him down'

Price spoke first giving a friendly hard pat on {Male!Reader}'s back and made him jolt before giving out a chuckle.

They all went out the stadium and, while everyone went back to the hotel, only Soap and {Male!Reader} stayed back.

'Soooo, what does my favourite fighter do in his free time? I can see slightly tan lines around the eyes and on yah arms'

Soap said in a slighlty teasing tone as they began to go to Eon's motorcycle.

'Mh, I went to the beach, worked, got up, ate and repeat. Gotta say that days are boring without yah'

He wrapped a hand around the other's waist and kissed his temple.

'Eh, you're right, civilian life is boring after all' He smiled as he hugged him.

'Sergent John Mactavish, you're the one having all the fun here, exploding things and people's heads off during missions, getting on Laswell's or Simon's nerves and not to mention always having a competition with Kyle'

He laughed as he put on his black and red motorcycle helmet while looking at him before getting another helmet and putting it on Johnny's head.

'You know lad, I think I have another idea of having fun'

Soap smirked as he traced the middle of {Male!Reader}'s clothed chest before going lower and grasping his waist and bringing him closer.

'Watch your mouth or you will end up in a situation you wont like, cheeky bastard'.

He amirked under the helmet and they both then drove off finally arriving at their flat.

----------------------------🧼---------------------------

A warm fog filled the apartament accompanied by the soft noise of water running.

{Male!Reader} was tense, strangely tense, as he was huffing out hair and pressing his hands on the wall clearly not having a relaxing time as he thought so.

John was waiting for him on their shared bed, sitting and leaning his back on the bedframe while reading a book. He had a bad feeling since the start but tried to brush it off along the road sitting on the back seat of the motor cycle.

He eventually decided to go over the door and check on him.

'M'eudail (My love) are you ok? You have been there for a lot now' Soap knocked and entered. He found his boyfriend having his head down, though the figure was blurry for the steam, he was as clear as the sun how he was feeling.

'Yes, I think.'

His blurry figure turned to look at him and with his hand wiped away the white fog over the pannel of the shower door.

After some minutes of silence he spoke lowly but still audible.

'Do you want to join?'

He proposed opening slightly the door and putting his hand out. His tone was uncertain.

John didnt waste any time as he stripped and hopped on. They helped eachother wash their hair and in between their shapoo usage they didnt waste anytime exchainging kissed but it seemed that {Male!Reader} was rather...affectionate, more than normal to say the least.

'What's wrong big guy? You seem to be very touch starved'.

John said while chocking on a half-grunt as his boyfriend left a red spot on his collarbone.

'What? Cant I kiss my lad anymore?'

He looked at him squinting his {eye/color}ed eyes. He arched his eyebrow as he pushed the other to the water stained wall and continued to bite and kiss him like his life depended on it.

'Hey, I am *sighs* serious mo charaid (my friend), what's wrong?'

He tilted his neck to the side giving {Male!Reader} more access.

He wasnt one of many words, rather more action.

------------------------🧼-------------------------------

When these two met, John was not in the 141 yet and he was in his first ever mission after militar graduation (I...dont know if that's a thing but bare with me). John, not even Soap, Mactavish was with a squadron to clean off a human trafficking quarter with a strong possibilty of even being a mafia outpost.

The mission went south and young Soap had to hide in a seemingly abandoned stadium nearby. Too bad that 'abandoned stadium' full of scaffoldings was in renovation and inside there was a young {Male!Reader} training for his first ever championship.

---------------------------🧼----------------------------

His movements were gentle but firm and left out a choked whine while closing his eyes and biting down the warm base of the neck under him.

His tired sounds were as harsh as thrusts. Not bothering to check on the other as that was how the John prefered it.

'Not talking are we Jonnhy? Do you prefer to be filled up or what? Only some months without me reduced you in this state?'

He was serious

They both were panting heavely and parted making the distance between them a bit more. {Male!Reader} engulfed him in his embrace and pampered him with kisses.

'Sorry if I went too hard on you, I dont know what has gotten into me' he face palmed himself and looked at him sadly.

'Dont worry about it, I had harsher treatments'

{Male!Reader} fell silent and his face turned into one of mild worry as he hesintantly and softly touched the medium scar on the other's head while thinking of what the encounter with that motherfucker of a russian terrorist, Makarov.

'The first time I've seen you on that hospital bed was the worst'

He teared up but the tears were only getting mixed with the strangely scorcing water.

'you looked so pale and so without life..., all those tubes attached to your chest and the one going down your throat....and that white bandage wrapped tightly arounf your forehead'

Johnny's eyes wavered because, in their years of relationship and 20 of knowing eachother, he only saw him cry a handfull of times. He looked at him and a small smile formed on his soft face before taking Eon's face in both of his hands and smiling more.

'We need to work on your ability to express what you feel in words but that is a matter for later'

'I am not going anywere my love, not anytime soon as I promised myself to see you as the last thing before closing my eyes..'

He kissed him and after slightly parting their lips, he spoke lowly.

'My Dawn'.

.

.

.

.

Their were now laying on the sofa and watching an action movie with Mactavish blabbering about all the incorrections during the stealth missions and clearence of the rooms before looking at his boyfriend who was laying his head on his lap.

'So how about a second round? Can I ride you this time?'

His tone was rather happy and he had big puppy eyes too.

{Male!Reader} was face palming himself mentally and physically.

'You really are bored aren't you?'

He looked at him and sighed before nodding.

'On the bed, now.'

-The End

#call of duty #male reader #cod x male reader #tf 141 #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish smut #john x male reader #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod #cod modern warfare #cod mw3

[dr-trafalgar-law]

Trafalgar Law X CisFem Reader

1

The rich scent of coffee percolated through the small apartment kitchen. Preferring to keep the room dark only the tiny light above the stove was left on. The sun had yet to rise and judging by the pattering against the window above the sink it wouldn't matter anyway.

Bringing the hardly sweetened liquid to his lips Law did his best to keep anxious thoughts away. Usually these consisted of work related topics, things he needed to get done when he arrived at the hospital or patients that took priority. This particular morning you were prominent.

He thought back to a night in November. At the time you had been matched for a month and had very recently moved in together. He had been opposed to all of this arranged marriage nonsense from childhood. Forcing people to be together for procreation didn't seem healthy mentally. But the alternative was prison, so most people just went with it.

Then he met you and discovered how similarly you operated so he decided to learn more. You had been pretty forthcoming with your reluctance, almost offensively so. You also felt the need to explain that you had a previous relationship that ended abruptly because of the law and obviously weren't dealing with it in a healthy way.

That week you stayed late at the shop every night working on different orders. When he did see you, you were practically vibrating with nervous energy. So, the nightly ritual of visiting the shop started, at least until that Friday. When he had announced he was coming to the shop you told him you'd meet him at home, which you did arriving at the same time. Even in the chilly humid air he thought he caught the scent of cologne as you passed, chalking it up to the hoodie you must have borrowed from a coworker, as he had never seen it before. After showering you shared the meal he'd brought from the hospital. You didn't say much but somehow seemed at ease especially considering the project you had been working on. Perhaps finishing the cakes provided some sort of closure? No, Law couldn't be that naive. Something definitely happened, something you didn't want to share. However, at the time he wasn't compelled to press you for information. He wasn't sure that even now after nearly four months you'd come clean. It wasn't like you had grown any closer as a couple, and he didn't know if you ever would.

His ears perked hearing your bedroom door softly open and shut behind you. Finally, the smell of coffee had made it to your room inviting you into the kitchen. You rounded the corner in an old purple shirt with the collar cut out, so it hung off your left shoulder, a pair of black leggings and mismatched knee-high socks.

His silver eyes roamed over the dip of your exposed shoulder before swaying up to your yawning face. It amused him that from day one you had no problem looking like a straight up mess in front of him. Perhaps it was because you weren't interested or maybe you just weren't like other girls. No woman he'd ever slept with dared to be seen without makeup.

You wore makeup as well, but it was always tastefully done. Law had surprised himself finding that he preferred you without, he liked the very light olive toned semicircles under your eyes and the natural hue of your lips so much so that on occasion you caught him staring. Being unaware of this preference and very aware of his constant stern expression, you had not thought about the attention being out of attraction.

"Morning." You yawned again running your fingers through your tangled hair.

"F/N-ya." Your fiancé nodded bringing his cup back to his lips.

"Top you off?" you asked pulling your mug from the cupboard not bothering to turn on the lights.

"Big order this week?" Law asked leaning back to hand you his cup.

"No, just couldn't sleep. There isn't much going on today I might just stay here and get some things done." Now that you'd said more he noticed your voice was a bit hoarse.

He hummed turning to let his eyes trail over you, even in the dim yellow light of the stove your skin seemed pale and clammy. Carefully he watched you fix his cup of coffee with shaky hands and move on to your own. The shadows under your eyes had deepened slightly, it was probably nothing, but no one would die if he asked.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes doctor," you smirked handing his cup over, "just a restless night is all."

"Then It's best if you stay home." He affirmed sipping the strong brew.

Somehow it was always better when you made it, though you did it the exact same way he had, yours was something to savor.

"Is it good?" You asked in amusement.

"It's ok. Why?" was his curt reply.

"You hummed," you chuckled, "That means you like it."

Had he? When were you so observant?

"I did no such thing." He glanced away from your smug expression.

"Will you be home for dinner? I was thinking about cooking." The light from your phone caught his attention drawing his gaze back to your face.

"I can probably arrange that." He tried to sound nonchalant, but you caught the intrigue in his tone.

"Anything you'd like? It's been a while since I made something savory, but I can still throw down."

He raised a brow at your enthusiasm, "Whatever you'd like is fine."

"Sandwiches then?" You teased.

He rolled his eyes, "If you can really throw down, how about onigiri, Ms. Chef."

"That will require some research and a trip to the store, but I accept your challenge." You were already searching for recipes on your phone.

After sitting in silence for a few moments and finishing his second cup of coffee Law checked the time and rose from the table to place his mug in the empty sink.

"Seven o'clock." You murmured looking up to meet his stormy gaze.

"I'll do my best. Have a good day F/N-ya." He exited the kitchen, a few seconds later followed by the sound of the door locking from the outside.

After your short trip to the store, you returned home to stock the fridge and pantry. It was shameful how much time you avoided spending there. Only coffee, sugar and creamer sat in the kitchen, and there were still boxes stacked in a corner of the living room waiting to be unpacked. You intended to remedy that.

Moving into the common space you began opening boxes. They'd been there so long you didn't know if they belonged to you or Law. The first was heavy and filled with medical magazines and notebooks. Box two was full of novels, most of them adventure, and the smallest was yours full of framed pictures and photo albums.

You organized the magazines and novels on the empty bookshelf that lined the back wall, leaving Law's notebooks for him to sort. At the bottom of that box you found a small framed picture turned over. Carefully you plucked it from the box curiosity piquing as you flipped the silver frame over. Law hadn't had any pictures of family or friends that you knew of. Making a mental note to ask about that your gaze fell over an old photo of your fiancé. He couldn't have been more than ten, wearing a school uniform with a little yellow backpack hooked over his shoulders. Next to him crouched a tall blond man with shaggy bangs swept across his face and a cigarette pressed between his lips. You were sure he'd always had that attitude and judging from the look on his adolescent face you were correct. The man in the photo must have been his adopted father, whom he didn't talk much about.

You filled your day with little projects and finally got around to making dinner. It wasn't difficult, but it was time-consuming. You felt good about preparing something he had picked specifically. It was your job to make people happy through their appetites, but this for the moment muted the crippling guilt that had been plaguing you.

Seven turned to eight turned to nine o'clock. You covered dinner in plastic and placed it in the fridge before moving back to the living room to binge watch some shows you had missed. It was disappointing that Law hadn't arrived or returned your texts but you supposed that came with being a doctor.

                                                                                          ____________

Law walked in quietly shutting the door behind him, first noticing the pictures lining the hallway. He stopped at the photo of his eleven-year-old self with Corazon on the first day of sixth grade. You must've had a productive day. Feeling incredibly guilty he continued into the apartment greeted by the soft light of the tv, he hadn't even noticed you on the sofa buried in a mess of blankets until you gasped.

"Sor-" Law was cut off as more gasps left the now writhing blanket pile.

Removing his coat, he crouched down pulling the throws away quickly. Your body had curled up into itself as you tried desperately to catch your breath. In the natural motion to ball up you'd smashed yourself into the back of the sofa. His slim tattooed fingers wrapped firmly around your wrists as you clawed at your chest and throat.

"D-don't..." you rasped.

"F/N-ya," he started softly pulling you into him as he sat, "try to calm down."

"Trying." You shuddered grasping his hands trying to fend off your instinct to fight back.

Now your clammy skin and shaky hands that morning made sense to him.

He hummed cradling you while you cried and hiccupped still hooked into a fetal position. Being wrapped in his warmth and hearing his low soft voice helped you focus on your breathing. The dark abyss that had been enveloping you began to fade.

"I'm... I'm sorry." You stammered. 

#trafalgar d law x reader #closure #x reader #one piece #trafalgar law #lyndsyh24 #heart pirates #marco the phoenix #18+ mdni #mdni #slow burn

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Retro Reader is attentive, wants to ensure they can help they people they love the best they can, so for situations where they can't just listen/observe what they need i see them going to the others and asking questions, some which no one can answer because the trip never thought to try before.

Questions like:

Is Vox rain proof?

Can Vox hypnotise himself?

Does Val like chewing holes in fabric?

Has Val ever been caught in something like a sticky fly trap?

If Velvette's a doll can she do the 180 head spin (asks this after they see Alastor do it)

If Vox started out with a Box tv head then where is it now as is he still connected to it?

I could also see Retro testing things on themselves and scaring the Vs constantly with the weird things they do 'for science'.

Velvette scared when they see Retro drink a poison, as she didn't know Retro would be fine.

Valentino and Vox forgetting Retro is a Sea Bunny when they fall in the shark tank and Retro doesn't come up for air (funnier if this is how Retro learns the fact as a sea bunny sinner they can breath underwater this way)

“Hey. Hey!” I said, poking Valentino.

“What is it now, mi cariño?” He asked, looking down at me. He seemed tired.

“Is Vox rain proof?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I imagine it’d be a very poor feature to have if he couldn’t handle water. It wouldn’t be particularly easy to be an Overlord if a drop of water could kill you.”

“Oh,” I said. I paused for a moment. “Can he hypnotize himself?”

“No,” Val said with a sigh. “Not that I know of. Not unless he wants to.”

“Darling, Val’s busy,” Vox said, appearing besides me. He took my arm and led me away. “He’s working on a script right now, you’ll only break his concentration.”

“And he’ll start chewing holes in his shirt again if he gets stressed,” I said with a nod. I let Vox walk me around the tower as I imagined how hard it would be to fix his clothes again. “Does he ever get stuck in those little sticky fly traps?”

“We don’t really have any of them, so no,” Vox said, with a small smile. “You’re awfully curious today, aren’t you? Any particular reason?”

I shrugged. “I saw Velvette turn her head all the way around today and I started wondering what traits you guys share with the things your based off of. Speaking of which, what happened to your old head?”

He blinked, then looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear.”

“You know, the box TV you had back when you and Alastor were friends!” I said lightly.

He shook his head and gripped my arm tighter. “I haven’t a clue what you mean,” he said pointedly. I paused, picking up on his tone, then let the topic drop.

(And yes, everything else Anon mentioned would definitely happen.)

#hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #writing #vox x reader #my writing #x reader #thanks anon!

[sleepyfan-blog]

Chase

Author’s note: The fourth fic for Nadesir! previous. Next

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel @kit-williams

Warnings: kidnapping, violence, ask me if you want me to tag something else

Summary: Nadesir catches the trail of one of the lurking Alpha Legionnaires, but something more worrying comes up.

Nadesir silently made his way through the forest, using his wings to keep from leaving tracks on the ground. For reasons known only to them, the Dark Angel Interrogator Chaplain and the squad he had brought with him had decided to linger in the small human town, and had been terrorizing random Astartes by asking questions that made no fucking sense to him. Perhaps it was a Loyalist thing that they were chasing? Not that the Night Lord Raptor had made it his business to find out what the Dark Angels were up to - though he hoped that they would fuck off soon. With the Alpha Legionaries somewhere in the forest that he was currently flying through doing fuck knows what, the presence of another group of deeply mysterious and secretive Astartes was... Not great. While he was looking for four-legged prey to hunt, Nadesir was keeping a careful eye on his surroundings, just in case he caught a glimpse of a hydra lurking in these woods, or to catch their trail.

If he could find where they were hiding out in - when not sneaking around the town in the guise as other marines - it might help? If he could make his way through the Alpha Legion base, try to snoop through their things, to see if they had any plans written down - likely coded, if it was written down - he and the other bonded Astares who lived with their humans might have a clue as to what those teal-hued snakes were after. Not that Nadesir was of the opinion that they should give the Alpha Legionaries whatever it was they were after. Not with the underhanded groxshit that they've been pulling for months now. 

Snap!

A branch broke loudly, startling the Night Lord, and Nadesir choked back the instinctive desire to hiss or growl at whatever had made such a sound, whirling where he was hovering to try and see the cause of the broken branch. At first, all he could see were several different kinds of trees - odd, as none of them were the type of tree to shed branches at this time of year unless the tree was damaged or sick somehow - when he saw a flash of teal and silver. A vicious smirk spread across his face beneath his helmet as he flew as swiftly and as silently as he could manage toward the brightly colored flash he'd seen.

He quickly approached where he'd seen the initial flash of silver and teal, noting that particular Alpha Legionnaire had indeed been caught in the deadfall trap that he'd left out for unwary prey, from the destroyed trap and the scrapings of paint on the underside of the large and heavy branch the other had likely been trapped - or partially - trapped under. There were a set of Astartes-sized footprints for him to follow deeper into the woods. The smirk on his face broadened to a grin, and he was about to fly off to hunt down his two-legged prey when he paused for a moment as he got a message from his bonded.

[You busy, Vanya?]

He hesitated for a moment before answering, using the text-to-speech feature in his helmet (making sure that his external comms were off - no need to potentially tip off to his prey that he was closeby) [Somewhat, but never too busy for you. Did you need something? I am on a hunt.]

[Oh, have fun! I just thought I saw you at the grocery store. Must have been another Night Lord.] She said, unintentionally causing Nadesir to panic a little.

He didn't know of any other Night Lords who lived in this area, and there were no Night Lords in the migratory war bands who passed through this town. At least, that had been true the last time one of the warbands had passed through, and they'd come and gone before this group of Alpha Legionnaires had decided to be spooky bastards. [... Be careful, darling. Most of my brothers are... Spectacular in how poorly socialized they are, to use your words. And it's possible that the Night Lord You saw was actually one of the shape-shifter Astartes borrowing someone else's form.]

[I'll keep that in mind. Have fun on your hunt, Vanya!] She texted back [I'll tell you when I get home.]

[See you soon, this hunt shouldn't take long.] Nadesir promised, anxiety and determination making his hearts beat quickly. He was torn between his desire to run the Alpha Legionnaire to ground, and flying back to his bonded... Especialy with this suspect Night Lord in town, he was worried that this might be some kind of trap or bluff -

Snap!

Another broken branch. Another flash of teal and silver paint.

A silent snarl left Nadesir as he lunged for his prey, while also making sure to send all of the information he'd gathered on this hunt to the Ultramarine Lieutenant who'd been put in charge of handling all information that the allied Astartes in the area had gathered on their wholly unwelcome visitors. That way if he was captured or went completely silent, they had some sort of clue as to what had happened to him.

The trees were too close together for Nadesir to fly properly, but he leapt from branch to branch in the upper canopy, gliding on silent wings as he sought out the Alpha Legionnaire he'd caught sight of twice, one hand on his bolter, the other helping to steady himself on the branch he leapt to, to keep from making too much noise. 

It did not take long for the Night Lord to catch up with the single Alpha Legionnaire who was limping on the ground.

...

Why was there only one of them? Of the traitor legions (were Alpha legionnaires traitor? They were labeled such by the Loyalists, but Nadesir wouldn't be surprised if the true answer was much more complicated. Even so, was this Alpha Legionnaire a traitor, or was he from a time before the Horus Heresy?) the Alpha Legion almost never splintered off into groups fewer than two. He looked for signs of more Alpha Legionnaires, but did not find any. He kept pace with the bastard Hydra limping around on the ground, careful to keep behind him and moving as silently as possible, in the hopes that if the other did not know he was there, that he would not alert the other to his presence. And the injured Alpha fucker definitely seemed to be headed in a specific direction, rather than wandering around aimlessly.

Nadesir stalked the injured Alpha Legionnaire from the forest canopy, resisting the urge to swoop down and pounce on the bastard - to tear him limb from limb and leave a pretty little warning for his fellow teal fucks to find in the woods - patience was the mark of a true hunter, and if he was lucky, the other would lead him directly to wherever it was the group of Alpha Legionnaires were lairing. Hours passed, and the Alpha legionnaire eventually limped up a well-worn forest trail to a wooden cabin, knocking on it four times before entering.

Anticipation sung through the Night Lord's veins, but he again sent his current coordinates and a short explanation as to what he'd found to Lieutenant Ollias. He paused for a moment, realizing that his beloved bonded had sent him three more messages, while he'd been focused on the hunt, each more concerning than the last.

[I'm almost home, but I think I'll need to spend some time at a neighbor's place. I think someone's following me.]

then

[How badly socialized are most Night Lords, again? The one from the grocery store is trying to talk to me. Says he can smell you on me?]

and finally, a terrifying 

[Help! He's ajklreg-]

The timestamp was half an hour ago. No no no no no! Nadesir knew that he should have turned around and gone to his beloved at the first mention of another Night Lord. It was too unusual a happenstance for it to be a good thing, and he couldn't shake the feeling that something awful had happened to his bonded. He could only hope that she was still alive. He'd been told by older Astartes that they had felt when their human had died. Had felt the bond snap as their sanity waned. Forcing down the panic, Nadesir closed his eyes as he reached out to the wonderful, strange bond that he had with his beloved human, trying to get a general sense of where she was, his body already moving towards where she was by the time he opened his eyes again.

He could hear and smell the large, unmarked van coming minutes before it arrived, its noisy engine and awful pollutants chugging along, with his bonded inside of it. The van was moving at speed - but no faster than Nadesir himself could run. He silently judged the distance before landing on the roof of the van with an unfortunate thud.

Nadesir dug his claws into the roof of the van, the inferior metals bending and buckling beneath his strength and frantic determination. the metal shrieked and screeched as he tore open a hole large enough to see what was going on.

His human was bound and gagged, held in place by a wide-eyed human male. She was struggling against him. There were several other humans in the van, two of whom were also bound and gagged, the other six trying to keep them in place. All three of the captured humans were bonded to Astartes. He leaned in, growling in the dominant human language "I don't care what foolishness you think you're up to, but I will be taking the humans you are foolishly attempting to kidnap. Resist and I will kill you."

"Y-y-you wouldn't dare!" One of the capturing humans stuttered. He stunk of fear and was dressed in a black suit and tie, with a white under-shirt. "I-I am-"

"I. Don't. Care. Who. You think you are. You attempted to kidnap my bonded, and the bonded of two others I consider allies and friends. Then again, I could leave you stranded here. The Hydra hunt in this region. I'm sure they would feast upon your fear and helplessness before tearing you apart." Nadesir hissed. Or he could leave them for the Salamanders to find. While they were loving and soft to those whom they cherished... Well, these idiots definitely would have roused the fury of the dragons. And enraged Salamanders were breathtakingly vicious and cruel. 

"We... We... We still have a working-" Suit and tie stuttered uselessly.

Nadesir ignored his babbling, looking over to his beloved - who continued to struggle furiously against her captor. He reached for her, cutting the ropes off of her, offering her his combat knife "I'm going to stop the vehicle. I imagine these two's bonded aren't far behind you." He gently bumped his helmeted head against her forehead in a gesture of affection. "Strike hard and fast, my heart." Before he crawled back on top of the van, pulling his bolter from it's holster and shooting at the hood of the van, aiming for where the engine probably was, and blowing a large hole through the middle of it.

There was a lot of panicked shouting and wailing from the would-be kidnappers. Their symphony of fear was almost enough to provoke Nadesir to purr - but he wouldn't. Not until his precious human was safe. And that the other kidnapped humans were safe too. 

Sure enough, he could see several large green Astartes sprinting down the road towards the rapidly slowing van. He waved at them from his perch, calling out to them over vox {You here to retrieve our kidnapped humans?}

{Yes! Your appearance is timely, if surprising. We were told you were on a hunt?} The lead Salamander asked. He was one of the Primaris Marines - larger and allegedly better than first born marines. The young dragon was sure a fast fucker, at any rate. Nadesir wasn't sure what his name was.

{I was. Then my human texted me for help, so I followed my bond to where my human is. I've given her my combat knife and freed her hands and legs, so the others who were captured are going to be freed soon too.} Nadesir explained, looking back into the hole he'd created. Sure enough, his beloved had freed the other two bonded humans - and was threatening Suit-and-Tie human at knife point, using methods he'd taught her. He's so proud of her. He calls out to her "Are you ready to go, love? Or do you want to kill your would-be capturer? Or I could kill him for you, and give you his heart to devour. Or his liver. Or both!" He was... Mostly joking. He knew that cannibalism wasn't something that most humans on ancient terra did unless under extreme circumstances and desperate. But he was leaning into the terrifying reputation that his legion had earned on Ancient Terra.

"... I'd rather they face the justice system, then have them killed out of hand, Vanya. Even if this shithead's parents are wealthy enough to pay off the courts." His human huffed, glaring darkly at suit-and-tie.

"Mmm, the squad of angry Dragons says otherwise, dearheart." Nadesir crooned. He doubted that these would-be kidnappers would last long in captivity, unless they had some very compelling information to give to the local chapter masters. "Then again, the Interrogator Chaplain has been getting restless... I'm sure he'd be delighted to... Mete out the due justice these fools have earned." Oh look, and the scary bastard and his posse were following the squad of furious Salamanders. "You never should have kidnapped our humans. Ready to go home, darling?"

His human blinked and smiled, handing him his combat knife. Instead, he picked her up, nuzzling her lovingly. "I thought you wanted to hunt?" she asked, confused. 

"If you think that I am going to be anywhere but at your side for months after you got kidnapped, you should reconsider that idea. I... I am sorry to have failed in protecting you, beloved." Nadesir rumbled, guilt and shame gnawing at him. One of the would-be kidnappers tried to reach for a weapon, but with a flick of his wrist, he cut the bastard's offending hand off with one of his claws without looking.

"Hey... It wasn't your fault I got grabbed, love. And you came to get me as soon as you knew I was in trouble. I... I'd like to go home now. I'll talk to whoever Captain Urar sends to talk to me about what happened tomorrow." His beloved responded, shaking a little as she buried her face in his chest.

Nadesir kissed the top of her head. It was still a failure on his part that she'd gotten kidnapped - perhaps he needed to ensure his reputation was terrifying enough that none would dare approach her with covetous thoughts? Ah, but he didn't want to potentially scare her away, either... These were things to consider later, however. The squad of Salamanders had arrived and he nodded politely to the sergeant leading them, saying "I'm going to take my human home. We'll both give full reports of what we know happened tomorrow."

"That works for me, go on home." The sergeant responded. "And yes, I'm aware of the Pride half a klik behind me. They're bored and frankly, I think that letting them handle the idiots would be entertaining."

The night lord raptor nodded, holding his human closer as he took to the skies. She slowly started to relax in her arms, the fear and anxiety in her scent giving way to wonder and delight. She always did really enjoy it when he took her for a flight.

#space marine husbandry sentience #warhammer 40k #my writing #space marine husbandry #night lords #alpha legion #salamanders #dark angels #x reader #cw: kidnapping #cw: violence

[i-mybrunettelady]

a gravitational pull

Summary: Renira goes on a date with a very singular woman. Content warnings: sensuality/making out (M) Spoilers: None Note: Happy Lesbian visibility week! I may not be a lesbian but Ren is and I wanted to write this for ages now but just.. didn't, so here's one for a ship that could've been, but never was. Ft Babymander Nyra.

Renira doesn’t ordinarily meddle with targets that don’t concern her current mission. The Vigil, as far as her orders go, are allies and not people whose secrets she should be focused on. A secret here and there is fine, but there is a line that the agents can’t cross. Not when there’s General Soulkeeper and Warmaster Kernsson on sight as two high ranking officers. The Warmaster, maybe, if she were daring enough to attempt to spy on him again at such a time, but the General? 

She cannot risk it; not as a Lightbringer. Not when her squad relies on her in this way. 

Yet when Kernsson’s pretty apprentice starts chatting her up and asks her for a date, Renira is all too quick to agree. There is no shortage of pretty women, but there is a shortage of time. Now, after that whole business with Ajax Anvilburn is done with, she can take a break for one evening. It’s nothing serious, after all.

Then again, Renira does wonder if digging up info on your date before you even go out is standard practice for anyone who isn’t of the Whispers. Probably not. Alysannyra Ainsaph’s name has popped up here and there - starting with a file in bold, red letters called the Hero of Shaemoor. She has family here in Ebonhawke. And now, apparently, she has joined the Vigil and bears the title of Crusader. 

That’s where she makes herself stop. There need to be conversation topics. She cannot know everything in advance. 

“Nice dress, by the way,” Alysannyra says with a slight curve to the ends of her lips. “I see you’re taking cues from the locals.” She then pauses and joins her hands before her. Her lips, full and pink, are slightly parted. “I think it suits you, personally. We’d wear it belted in Rurikton, for the waist emphasis, but it looks good like this, I think. And I think the flower I chose works well with it? As if I’d known!”

Renira takes a deep breath. “Thank you,” she says and accepts the flowers - a vibrant yellow to match the pink of her dress, just as Alysannyra said - and gently holds them in her hand. Then Alysannyra offers her a hand and off on the streets of Ebonhawke they go. 

She looks good tonight. They look quite the pair, unintentionally so. The thought makes Renira smile. Nyra looks rather good in the traditional Ascalonian embroidered shirt and a jelek. The shirt is open enough to reveal her collarbones and the tightness of the vest makes her chest look pronounced. Her hair is long and loose, brushed but only barely, alternating between brown, red and blonde in the dying light of day. Her face is bare. 

Renira hasn’t seen eyes as blue in a while. Or maybe the lack of romantic attention in recent times finally reared its ugly head. While not that common, blue eyes aren’t exactly a rarity either. 

“Your hair changes color in the sunlight,” Renira says, by way of observation. Their footsteps fall in rhythm.

“Only the wisest of men know what my actual hair color is,” Nyra supplies, and lifts her eyebrows. “It has been foretold, certainly, that one who guesses it right will win my hand in marriage.” 

“Should I keep looking then?” Renira laughs. She likes the way Nyra talks. The dryness of her humor is refreshing. 

“If you like. I like to be looked at. If you guess right, you might get me to pop the question, Ascalonian style.” 

“Oh? I assume your heritage allows you for more insight on that particular topic than my few months of living here does?” Renira leans in - rather, down. Nyra’s hair smells of fresh herbs. 

Nyra lifts her head to meet her eyes. She holds her gaze. “I could show you, if you’d like,” she says. 

Renira hums. “There is time, Nyra.” She masks the extent of the excitement the response leaves in her. Nyra is a woman of the court, and she knows the art of conversation just as well as Renira does, yet not everyone acquires the charm needed to get to be as good as it can be. 

No, it’s not charm, not really. It feels like she has something of a gravitational pull that makes Renira unable to look away. The steadiness of her gaze, the warmth of her hand, scent of herbs and a hint of perfume, all coupled with her head held high, tempts Renira to bend down and kiss her then and there. When has she grown attracted to muscle on a woman? That is a new development. 

Not that she minds. 

Nyra’s smile is lopsided. “Enough time to squeeze a second date in?” 

Renira laughs. “Maybe. If I don’t make up my mind by the end of this one.” She pulls her closer. The eye contact breaks when she snakes their fingers tighter together and runs her nails over Nyra’s knuckles. “We aren’t even at the date location yet. The night is young.” 

And indeed, the sun has just set. The moon is just peeking through, an invited, observant figure to  the chatter of people and their joint hands. By the end of this, Renira thinks, she could have Nyra in her bed if she wanted to. And where would the harm be, if she has a willing participant? 

Nyra nods, pink in the face. “That is for you to decide, but in the meantime, I think a delicious meal awaits us.” 

And the food is good, admittedly, the kind both humans and charr would enjoy. Well done meat with kajmak, chopped onion that neither of them are touching, reflections of the bright yellow flower in the little rakija bottles. Turns out Nyra isn’t a fan of it. She takes one sip, swallows like a battleworn hero she is, and places it down with all the grace of a woman of the court. Renira downs hers in one chug. Nyra lifts a brow, as if impressed. 

And maybe alcohol did lower their inhibitions, but they’re kissing in a dimly lit street later, with Nyra on the tips of her toes and her hands around Renira’s shoulders. She’s a good kisser, it turns out. 

“Billiard rooms,” Nyra explains in between kisses. It’s a rather silly high society excuse to stare at people’s asses and steal a kiss. 

Renira slides her hands down and squeezes Nyra’s ass. She doesn’t need any overpriced rooms. “Were there any bets?” she asks, curiously. A part of her laughs, almost; is she as cocky as someone like Nyra can afford to be, to place a bet to be the best she’s ever kissed? She doesn’t voice it. 

There are many things she hasn’t been able to afford herself. There’s something so very aristocratic about the way Nyra carries herself, the way she grabs attention and stamps her seal all over it. Even now, red in the face, with lips darkened by kissing and lipstick, she knows she looks good, she knows the world should be watching her. 

Arrogance, Renira thinks. Arrogance that’s hardly ever faced a pushback. Arrogance that makes her want to fuck her against that very wall, in this very street. What a luxurious thing. 

“Nothing that went beyond tongues,” Nyra replies after a thought. “My parents have always been of the old, Ascalonian cut.” 

Renira tilts her head and licks at Nyra’s lower lip. “And you?” 

Nyra looks visibly distracted for a moment. “I’ve never been to Ebonhawke before,” she says. “Is that good enough?” 

“More than enough.” Enough to write in your file later. Tastes divine, is hardly in touch with where her parents came from. Looking to reconnect. Doesn’t care about the way things are done here. She places a kiss on her jaw. Nyra’s nails dig into Renira’s skin. She then kisses lower, to her exposed neck. 

Then, she then feels Nyra’s hands pushing her face away from her neck. Just as Renira was about to ask to leave her a little bite. Rude, she thinks and smiles. You arrogant, rude, sexy aristocrat. You just need to be in charge. Did the world see that? Or do you keep these things to yourself?

“I know a place where we can have more privacy,” Nyra says in a voice that doesn’t invite questioning. A command wrapped in a statement, and the quietness of the tone doesn’t take anything away from its force. She slides her hand down so it rests on Renira’s hip. “It’s not that far away. Come.” 

She then takes Renira’s hand and goes down the street, lipstick stains on her face and neck be damned. She walks like it all belongs to her, like she’s the queen of the fucking world, with her head held high. Without shame. Arrogant. 

Not arrogant. Proud. 

It takes Renira a lot to fall in love, but maybe this is a closer thing. Or maybe it’s the rakija, and the kissing, and the moon whispering in her ear, and the Ebonhawke and its pressing history and its proud descendant that’s holding her hand. 

Whatever it is, Renira slides into the night with her. 

It is, after all, a call she can’t say no to. 

#gw2 #inspo birb has come to town #alysannyra #renira sulver #gw2 writing #my writing #gw2 fic #lesbian visibility week #listen ascalon is serbia to me and they went to a kafana and had rakija and roštilj and kajmak #a kafana date. and one dressed in traditional clothes #for reference ren is in an anterija type dress #which is a largely woman's traditional garb #so many good examples online #they're not in opanci but shhhh #opanci good. we love an opanak. #anyways give it up for some. sapphics on a date #please give this notes i worked hard #i trust y'all to read this

[flutterbyfairy]

btw sexuality labels do not have to be super specific with strict boundaries of what "qualifies" as being that sexuality. you do not have to base how you define your sexuality on the first description that comes up on google; history, culture, the nuances of personal experience, and what you feel connected to are just as important a part of how you choose to identify!

#brought to you by a lesbian continously annoyed at the 'non man loving non men' description of lesbianism #i used to think i had to wall myself off from being attracted to certain genders in order to continue identifying as a lesbian #but like. gender is weird and silly and so is sexuality!! #this isn't something i'm the most knowledgeable on but to my understanding before lesbian separatism the term lesbian was used a bit #differently than it is today - being attracted to men didn't make someone not a lesbian #which i like! cus i identify a lot with (especially femme) lesbian history #i like queer masculinity! in the particular way that is common for femme lesbians #to me being a femme lesbian describes my experience with the way i feel within myself and the way i love queer masculinity. it doesn't feel #contradictory to me to be in relationships with men. i luuuuv my boyfriends and #me being a lesbian doesn't mean i don't or that i don't see them as men or anything #i am not particularly good at the whole Social Constructs thing due to autism so that probly plays into it #it is all confusing and i don't necessarily understand some of it (even my own identities) but i go with what makes me feel like me #^-^ #meg (boyfriend) saw this post and said ''i used to think i wasn't attracted to men. i was just looking at the wrong men'' #which is sooo true

[birdmenmanga]

@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

#just thinking thoughts... #stray bird thoughts #so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good #I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am #OH #I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT. #YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!! #A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized. #it was written for the people they would become. #and I stand by that 100% #if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet #and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor #like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things' #but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever' #which she clearly isn't. #I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day #and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring' #(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.) #and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15 #like WHAT is she going on about? ? ? #like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm #but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know. #like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed. #the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know #but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage #recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it. #there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight. #it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most. #cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.

[wild-at-mind]

Don't want to tone police anyone else, but I kind of hope that if anyone sent me a misguided ask trying to 'correct' some terminology I used for my own self-identity, I'd be able to reply in a way that didn't frame myself as superior for being out longer than the asker.

#i've only been out for like 5 mins anyway so i kind of hate that anyway for maybe personal reasons?? #i met a lot of trans people my age this year who also didn't come out during their entire 20s for Reasons #and we all agreed it fucking sucks and feels like wasted time #and i'm well aware people come out much much later than that and the same applies #as a transmasc person i have detected a small amount of 'well how would you know you only just came out like 5 mins ago' #from other transmasc people about my age who have been out way longer #and i understand where they are coming from i guess but i also can't help it #and i hope our community never has to be divided by supposed privilege lines of who came out when and who spent more time as 'cis'... #maybe people are already trying to do this but i hope not because none of that stuff is fixed enough to be an axis of oppression #though it does change our experiences of life of course it's never as simple as 'privileged vs oppressed' on things like this #in particular there's one transmasc person in my local area (there aren't many lol) who i really want to connect with but who has made #implications that they see people like me as trans babies of sorts #like not talking about me but someone else they said of a long-time friend of theirs who just came out as transmasc #'i could have used that support 10 years ago!' #i was just like :/ well they aren't talking about me but is this how people in my community see me?? #anyway i think if we can't have compassion for and acceptance of each other's unique experiences it will stand in the way of intra-communit #connection

[softquietsteadylove]

How about jealous Thena in the Doctor au?

Let’s say a small group of 4 doctors 2 females 2 males in different expertises are visiting the ER to gather some information on something medical. And these 2 females would not stop flirting with Gil

"I have to say, I'm really quite impressed."

Thena offers a genial smile. Making nice with other people has never been a forte of hers, but the visiting doctors from a nearby hospital have been perfectly civil. "Our staff is quite impressive."

"You run a tight ship, Doctor," the other male doctor comments, also making light talk as they tour through the hospital. The ER is the last stop on their trip, releasing them back on the ground floor after touring through the rest of the hospital.

Thena gives Ajak a wink on their way to the main door, "believe me, it's all her."

Ajak winks right back at her and then nods at the visitors, "she's my favourite kid here."

Ajak is an odd handful of years older than Thena at most.

"We've heard such wonderful things about your triage centre," one of the female doctors offers a bright and lovely smile. She's a pediatric specialist, if Thena remembers correctly. "It doesn't surprise me--wow."

The other female doctor also cranes her neck to look down the hall. "Wow is right--those are...?"

Thena's eyes bounce between the women, a strange and uncomfortable feeling welling up in her chest. "Those are two of our paramedics, Gil and Kingo."

The visiting women grasp at each other, not even attempting to hide their interest as the muscle of the ER make their way over to them. They grin at each other before looking back at Thena, "who's the one waving at us?"

Thena bristles. "Gil."

"Hey," he greets them with a smile, because of course he does. Kingo doesn't even bother to say anything, continuing on to the nurse's station without him (as is a regular thing, with Gil).

"Gil, these are the visiting doctors here to look at our facilities," Thena introduces (somewhat). "Ortho, Cardiovascular, Peds and Neuro."

The doctors might be a little surprised at her choice to list their specialties and not their actual names. But Gil isn't surprised in the least, giving them a friendly smile and a tilt of his head. "Thena's been showing you around, huh? Well, you won't find a better run ER."

"Yes, we were just remarking upon that."

"Are you just getting back?"

Thena watches as Pediatrics drifts closer to Gil, her hand raising up as if to touch his arm before drifting down again. She instead clasps her hands in front of her, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Yep," Gil answers blithely, totally unaware that he's being ogled.

"The paramedics at our hospital are never in on time after a run," Neuro sighs, landing herself at Gil's other side, even closer than Pediatrics did.

Gil skips over both of them, though, looking at Thena, "I try not to stay out too long. Just in case I'm needed here, y'know?"

She smiles at him, able to forget about the intruding doctors for this one, tender, fraction of a second.

"You help out here, too?" Pediatrics gasps, now actually laying her hand on Gil's arm. "A real jack of all trades, aren't you?"

Thena taps her toe on the floor, although it's silent, given they're all wearing running shoes.

"Well, Thena and Ajak are the real captains of the ship, down here," Gil shrugs. The only awareness he even has of the hand on his arm is his confusion over it. "If we're not out on a run I just kind of float around. Some of our interns are real airheads."

Both women let out a loud and exaggerated laugh. Neuro takes the opportunity to pat the back of her hand against Gil's shoulder, although it's a little too close to his chest.

"You're funny!"

Gil is funny--everyone knows that. Thena crosses her arms. "It might be funny if it weren't such a headache."

The Orthopaedic specialist at least gives her a sympathetic smile, "some of ours are terrible too."

"Wait you just got in!" Pediatrics gasps and beams at Gil, "so you can show us one of the ambulances!"

Thena rolls her eyes, muttering just to herself, "it's an ambulance, it should look just like yours."

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Gil shrugs, though. He looks at Thena, asking her to come with them so he's not stuck hosting three strangers by himself.

If it were anyone but him; Thena sighs but follows behind them. Ortho and Cardio are talking to each other from either side of her but she's not listening. She can't possibly; Neuro is walking so close her elbow keeps knocking together with Gil's, while Pediatrics is all but hanging off his arm as they walk.

Not that it bothers her, but they could have a little professionalism. A modicum, even--one fluid ounce of professional integrity!

"Here we are," Gil announces as they exit into the ambulance bay, his particular bus parked right outside. "We have the usual stock of stuff. Although Thena had the idea for us to add an inventory specifically of fast working anaesthetics."

"Really?"

Gil is beaming with pride. "Well, we're always advised to be so stingy with them. But patients can describe what they're feeling better when they can think straight. Plus, women in particular are used to downplaying their pain, even when it's really serious. So we always try to give them just a little bit more than the recommended amount."

"That's so forward thinking!" Pediatrics gasps up at him.

Gil seems like he's barely heard her, "it was all Thena's idea."

"And Ajak," she mutters, not that anyone is listening to her. Pediatrics and Neuro are still chattering away at Gil's sides while Ortho and Cardio have climbed into the bus to examine the extra supply Gil was describing. She looks down at her hip. She's being paged, "Gil."

He leaves the sides of the visitors in a second, pulling his hands out of his hoodie pockets to touch his palm to her elbow. All she does is look at him to tell him that it's not something she can ignore. He nods, "you go."

She nods back at him, offering a smile before trotting back inside, her ponytail swinging behind her.

Thena's ass looks great even in the unflattering scrub pants. The two male doctors have obviously noticed this over the course of their tour, leaning out of the ambulance just for the privilege and indulgence of watching her go.

Gil clears his throat loudly.

The two doctors scramble out of the back of the ambulance - Gil's ambulance - and tug at their white coats. "I-It's quite a fine piece of equipment you're running."

"Hm," Gil glares at them as he tosses the massive doors closed with one hand. His hands are back in his hoodie pockets, mostly so they won't see the fists he's making. He leans down slightly to the shorter men, "I know my wife is beautiful, but do you mind keeping your eyes to yourselves, Doctor Dumb and Doctor Dumber?"

"Y-Your-"

"We didn't-"

Gil just shrugs, heading back into the ER without waiting for their distinguished and invited guests. "Honest mistake. Just don't let it happen again."

#Thenamesh Doctor AU #Gil feels a particular way #and that is mad when he sees people checking out his wife #work wife rather (same thing) #The visiting doctors leave thinking Thena and Gil are married #and Gil is just fine with that #after seeing them looking at Thena the way they were #Ajak catches him in his lie because of course she does #she brings up how the visiting doctors offered their apologies #they had no idea the head of the ER and their paramedic were married #since they don't wear rings and they didn't introduce each other as their spouse #Ajak is like...well they forget sometimes anyway thanks for coming #Gil is like please don't tell Thena I said that #Ajak just rolls her eyes #the things she has to put up with #I don't think Gil is nearly as clueless about when he's being flirted with as Thena thinks he is #he just prefers to play dumb so as not to encourage it #but he can tell instantly when someone is looking at Thena too long #or talking with her a little too flirty #while Thena is the one who can't detect interest in her to save her life #I mean...Gil is evidence of that

[mod2amaryllis]

my albino kribensis died tonight :( I'm still looking into it, I'll put like test details and stuff in the tags, I'm so at a loss....i found him probably minutes within death because i check on them so often. was going around saying goodnight to tanks before lights out and found him. super super bummed. it was barely more than a week but i really liked him...

#yeah I'm extremely sad #i think i have an ok understanding of pet death cuz of my job. like I'm able to focus at least and not get discouraged like- #-ok I'm extremely sad but let's get out the test kit and remember these things just happen #but this particular fish was so cool :( he was already personable #always came out to see me #that's how i knew something was wrong. he didn't come out so i looked behind stuff and found him covered in snails #i found him so quickly the snails hadn't even made a dent he's PERFECTLY intact. like weirdly intact. looked all over- #-and not a scratch. #the female seems freaked out too #analytical time: i tested and there was an ammonia spike. there's no way it would've spiked that fast from his dead body #could've been leftover food but i did a regular 25% water change yesterday and the food hasn't been in there long #it's out of nowhere i really don't know what happened or if i did something wrong #not trying to beat myself up at all just if i DID do something wrong i want to know so i don't do it again #animal death #m2a #uggghhhhh...... #just sad #Jose said something nice. i was saying how it's such a bummer that i only had him a week yet fell so in love during that short time #and he said well there you go he gave you a very happy week #lol it's exactly something i would say to a client..... like thanks honey