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azucanela · 4 years

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DIVINE INTERVENTION [PT.2] OIKAWA TOORU

DIVINE INTERVENTION MASTERLIST | HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Maybe getting into a fight with one of Oikawa’s fangirls hadn’t been the best idea.

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

WARNINGS: violence, injuries, bruises,

A/N: do people actually plan their series ahead of time, because i kinda just write whenever my brain has an idea

Meeting Y/N L/N had been... weird for Oikawa, to put it simply.

As conceded as it may sound, Oikawa knew that he was well-liked, he knew that there were people lining up to go out with him— especially since he got confessed to nearly daily— but it wasn’t just that. Teachers had placed Oikawa on a pedestal for balancing athletics and good grades, along with simply being a ‘joy to have in class’ because he was respectful and offered his help often. Other students adored him because he was actually a rather kind person when he wanted to be; and he was well known in his school.

He’d been singled out for as long as he could remember, that now both Oikawa and his own classmates felt as though they were simply on two different worlds.

Which is why Y/N L/N had been weird. Most of the time his natural charisma charmed almost everyone he’d met, his skill in volleyball and academic prowess were something that had also earned him respect in the school. And yet Y/N L/N simply extended her hand to him like he didn’t matter, offering her name only momentarily before retuning her attention to Iwaizumi. She’d simply treated him like just another person; and it had been a while since Oikawa felt normal.

So he began to pester her, whenever she was around—most of the time with Iwaizumi— he’d started talking to her more in their shared classes, even inviting her to his volleyball classes.

Talking to Y/N had been like a breath of fresh air, as stupid as it sounded. He would never admit this to her, of course. Though he was fairly close to when their last year of middle school had come upon them and they were all deciding on which school they’d be attending.

Thankfully, the entire trio ended up going to Aoba Johsai. Even now, Oikawa didn’t know what he would’ve done had Iwaizumi and Y/N attended different school, though he’s happy he doesn’t know. Blissful ignorance.

Despite their years of friendship, Oikawa had never actually been annoyed by Y/N, he enjoyed her presence if he was honest. She was good company. She’d always put up with his ‘nonsense’ as Iwaizumi put it, and she’d supported him throughout his life— though she’d also threatened him for taking things to far and endangering his well-being, Oikawa had a feeling that was something he was supposed to appreciated. Yet, Oikawa had a feeling that today would be the day Y/N truly annoyed him.

Rumors spread fast in Aoba Johsai, especially when they were about Oikawa and his love life, it had always been an issue. He hadn’t been in many relationships, much less committed ones. People tended to talk, his fans tended to act out, and after about two weeks any relationships he had were over. Which is why Oikawa was shocked to discover that he was in a relationship with his best friend, and had been for a while. And his apparent girlfriend had gotten into a fight with another girl earlier today in class.

If Y/N was honest, she just hoped that Oikawa went with the little story she’d made up— otherwise she’d seem like an idiot who was just as obsessed with him as the girl she now sat beside in the principal’s office. And honestly, there was no real explanation for why she’d lie, not without her seeming crazy.

Was fighting her the best idea? No, not at all. Did the girl deserve every hit? Definitely. Was Iwaizumi struggling to pull Y/N off of her? Possibly, we don’t discuss that. Now you might be wondering, why would the lovely, kind, amazing and beautiful Y/N L/N ever get into a fight?

Well the girl started talking and wouldn’t stop. Speaking like Oikawa was an object, a trophy to be won, a game like the one he played. She spoke like she knew Oikawa personally, as though he owed her a relationship, a chance. But if Y/N was honest it was the threats that set her off.

She wasn’t sure if Iwaizumi was more shocked by the girl’s words or Y/N’s fist ramming against her face after this girl tried to smack her.

“Oikawa doesn’t find out about this.”

That was all Y/N said when he finally pulled her off the girl, just for her to get escorted by the school’s security guards, down to the office. Though Iwaizumi wasn’t necessarily sure was she was referring to seeing as the fight had been the talk of the school now, and Oikawa was headed Iwaizumi’s way. He’d been seated outside of the office for some time now, awaiting Y/N’s inevitable return, suspension, or expulsion.

This was going to be bad. In all their time as friends, Iwaizumi had never expected something like this to happen. If we was honest, he wasn’t even sure if the pair was or was not dating. Perhaps they’d been hiding the relationship from him or maybe this was something Y/N had simply made up on the spot, he wasn’t sure. What he did know, was that things had never been so... messy between Y/N and Oikawa.

Now, Y/N wasn’t considering the impacts her little plan would have on the friend group at the moent, just that she didn’t play the death threat card often but now seemed as good a time as any to allow a false tear to fall down her cheek, “and then—” A sniff, “and then she threatened me and I got so scared, Principal! She said she was going to kill me.” Getting expelled was the last thing she wanted, but if this didn’t work— well, she was running out of ideas.

Now, Y/N wasn’t the best actor, but she was friends with Oikawa, and she’d definitely picked up a few things from him. Like the fact that their principal was a lot more sympathetic towards members of their sports team; and Y/N happened to manage one of the teams. And she was fairly sure that their most noteworthy players would’ve drained themselves entirely had it not been for her, so she considered herself... kind of valuable. Especially with Oikawa’s knee injury that he insisted on disregarding, Y/N had a feeling things would’ve been far worse for the boy had she not gotten involved.

Speaking of Oikawa, even as Iwaizumi warned him not to enter, the boy simply pushed the door open, a fake smile making its way onto his face as he spoke, “Principal!” He exclaimed, arms spread open, his smile only faltering as he notices the fading red mark on Y/N’s cheek, accompanied by a few bruises on her arms and several bruises on the other girl. Oikawa quickly recovers from the shock, returning his attention to the man before him, “how are you?”

The Principal offers Oikawa a tight lipped smile as he replies, “a little busy in case you haven’t noticed.” A deep breath from the man in question, “you should see yourself out—”

“You see, Principal. I just came her to collect my lovely girlfriend, I heard about this little mix-up and got worried, you know?” His eyes meet Y/N momentarily, and the look on his face tells her that she’s going to regret this once he manages to get them out of this situation— hopefully with her clean school record being maintained. “Things can get so blown out of proportion by school gossips, right?”

The Principal doesn’t seem to buy his words as he gestures to the other girl seated across from Y/N, who’s holding a tissue to her bleeding nose as she stares up at Oikawa in shock. “This young girl was very injured and—”

“She’s just fine? Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” Oikawa looks to the girl, placing a hand gently onto her shoulder as he offers a sympathetic look, and she practically swoons at the pet name he sues, eyes zeroing in on the hand placed on her shoulder. The girl is clearly in awe at the fact that the very boy she’d intended to confess to all those hours ago was now here and touching her shoulder.

Y/N nearly rolls her eyes as the girls mumbles out, “oh my god you’re– yeah I’m fine! I really shouldn’t have disrespected Tooru’s—”

“Oikawa.” Y/N corrects quietly, first names were reserved for people close to you, and this girl just had a crush formed from basic manners and good looks, though the girl pays no mind as she continues. Y/N can’t help but feel irritated by the fact that even though she’d literally been attempting to choke Y/N earlier, she was now acting as though Oikawa was her best friend.

“—girlfriend! I didn’t know you two were actually together, I’m so sorry but—”

Y/N can’t help but feel odd hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth. Girlfriend. The word feels wrong in a way, and leaves her with an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’d never considered being Oikawa’s girlfriend, not really, she’d heard other people’s speculations but she’d never actually considered why they might think that.

Oikawa has already moved on from this girl, turning back to the Principal as he spreads his hands wide, “see! No harm done, now I need to be getting to Volleyball practice along with our lovely manager here, if you don’t mind that is?” Y/N nearly laughed at the fact that he was pulling the, ‘I’m literally your star athlete so you better do as I say,’ card. Though she only watched as the Principal brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose with a sigh, waving them off.

“Just don’t do it again.” He grumbled out, not sparing them another glance as he grumbled something out about young love and ‘Oikawa’s stupid fans.’

Y/N practically shot up from her seat, bowing to the man in thanks, “of course sir! Thank you, and have a nice day!” Oikawa’s hand has already come to the small of her back as he guides her out of the classroom, passing Iwaizumi who simply sighs as he watches them.

“Try to be on time to practice, idiot.”

Oikawa waves back to his friend, “of course, Iwa-chan! Anything for you!”

Iwaizumi probably would’ve started cursing had he not been standing just outside the Principal’s office, opting to glare daggers into the back of the boy’s head instead. Watching as he and Y/N made their way through the halls wordlessly.

Y/N knows Iwaizumi’s eyes are focused on Oikawa but she has a feeling that the rest of the people in the hallway are more focused on her; seeing as she was today’s scandal. For several reasons. There was the being Oikawa’s secret girlfriend— though they weren’t actually dating, and Y/N had a feeling the gossips at her school would have a field day if they found out about thaT— and the fight with that girl and the— well, we don’t discuss that last bit.

She doesn’t have a plan, Y/N was now wishing she’d just accepted the possibility of suspension because then she could’ve put off this conversation with Oikawa, the conversation where she’d have to explain what exactly happened. And at the moment, she didn’t have an explanation to offer him. What she’d done had been impulsive, yes, she could admit that. But stupid? Well, the girl did apologize, so maybe not.

“So... how’s your day been?”

A sarcastic laugh escapes him as he pushes open the door of an empty classroom, eyes scanning the room once more before he’s shutting the door and bringing his hands to his head. “Care to explain?”

Y/N offers him a sheepish smile as she takes a seat on top of a desk, shrugging, “shouldn’t we get to practice like you said?” Avoiding confrontation happened to be a specialty of Y/N’s, and more often than not, Oikawa respected this. But it seems today was not one of those days.

“Shouldn’t you have stayed out of it like you said?” Came his response, eyes narrowed at her as his eyes trailed over her figure. “What happened, Y/N?” His thoughts go to the conversation they’d had not too long ago, he’d explicitly been against this idea, for a variety of reasons.

Oikawa’s racked through his mind for reasons why she would do this even after he’d explicitly asked her not to, even more so why she’d get into a fight over him. A small thought in the back of his mind nearly made its way back to him, one he’d been struggling to bury for years as he searched for an explanation.

Y/N doesn’t really have an explanation either, maybe it was because she had been tired of these people pretending they knew Oikawa, because of the conversation they’d had in the gym. Seeing him upset over it might have triggered something inside of her, and made her decide— why not take things into her own hands? He didn’t deserve any of it, they could be so overbearing, acting as though he belonged to them.

Maybe it was spite, pure spite. Anger over all the ways these stupid confessions and fans had affected her. Maybe she’d wanted it all to stop and thought that this was the best way how. Maybe there was no real reason beyond that. She finds herself wishing she could offer him an answer, though nothing comes out of her mouth.

When Y/N doesn’t reply, Oikawa simply sighs, bringing a hand to the bridge of his nose before turning to Y/N, his eyes trailed along the dulling red on the edge of her cheek and the bruises evident on her arms. Frowning, Oikawa brought a hand to her arm, “well at least you won the fight.” He didn’t know much about what happened, just what he’d heard in passing and when one of his teammates had approached him to congratulate him for ‘finally getting in to a relationship with Y/N.’

A small laugh escapes Y/N as she nods along to his words. “Yeah,” she mumbles in agreement, lips pressing together to form a tight lipped smile as she struggled to find words, “so... what do we do now?”

That would be the question of the hour.

[tags] lmk if you want to be added via askbox

haikyuu!!: @shawkneecaps @therainroguefanfiction @iwaizoom @aquabcrry-y

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anonymouslyangsty · 3 years

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Okay so I adore Kazuichi Soda, but GOD do I feel like his character is wasted somewhat in game??? I really wish he had more of an ark

(Warning, I’m going to ramble like a himbo about my Sodapop son below. It’s...way to long and has spoilers)

So, Kaz’s whole character backstory is that he was a nerdy, shy kid who got pushed around by his ‘friends’. He got in trouble for helping a friend cheat on a test, but he wasn’t upset when said friend threw him under the bus. He only got upset when that friend stopped talking to him after, which in turn encouraged him to distrust others and change his behavior and appearance to appear tough.

What I get from this is that Kaz puts on a fragile act to look tough, has a hard time trusting others, and has rather low self esteem. He acts like a punk, but the second someone attacks him, verbally or otherwise, he crumbles and cowers.

That all being said, I don’t feel that these traits are properly handled or addressed in the game

Firstly, the whole Sonia obsession. I think it makes sense from a few perspectives. In one option, Soda could see Sonia, being a princess, as above ‘normal’ people, thus making her an object of his affections. Option B is that he doesn’t REALLY obsess with Sonia that hard, but because he wants to look cool, he pretends to like her so he can fit in with what he thinks dudes are like.

Whatever option we go with, it’s clear that Soda has a very shallow ‘love’ for Sonia, only really liking her for her title and appearance. Whenever she expresses the darker sides of her personality (love of the occult and serial killers), Kaz always tries to divert attention from or ignore it. He doesn’t love her as a person, but as a figure.

The shallowness of his love is coupled with her total devotion to her. Kaz makes the exact same mistake he did with his friend: he trusts Sonia irrationally, incapable of seeing any fault in her whatsoever. So, whenever she’s put into question, he jumps at her aid, trusting her regardless of any evidence.

This also means that he’s incapable of seeing how uninterested she is in him. She never bluntly says it, but it’s clear that Sonia, at the very least, vaguely dislikes Kaz. She straight up hopes that he’s the killer in chapter 4.

But again, just like with his friend, Kaz brushes it off as nothing. Sonia could do anything to him but, as long as he has her ‘companionship’ (or the illusion of it), he’s fine. This is clearly a terribly unhealthy mentality for a relationship, as Sonia gets idolized to an uncomfortable degree and Soda leaves himself open to any level of abuse as long as he thinks he’s accepted.

Kaz is repeating the same mistake from his backstory, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. The bad part is the fact that it’s never addressed.

Sonia never tells Soda to stop, nor does anyone ever highlight the fact that Soda doesn’t really love her. He is constantly following her, but probably couldn’t say 10 things about her personality. If that WAS addressed, it could be used to show Soda that he isn’t going to make connections to people by keeping up his “cool, thirsty bro” persona, but instead by being genuine and kind, which is more align with his true personality. Honestly, I was expecting this to happen after chapter 4 but nope.

Another option, darker this time, is that Soda could find himself betrayed again. It would makes sense thematically; Kaz repeats the same mistake of blind trust, and is thus betrayed again. Maybe Sonia tries to kill someone, betraying the ideal pedestal Kaz places her on. Maybe she frames HIM for murder in an attempt to save Gundham.

Slight tangent here, but I really like the idea of a worst case scenario where Soda’s failure to learn from the past gets him killed (TLDR for the tangent, as if this whole thing doesn’t need a TLDR: Sonia and Kaz pull a DR1 first murder, but Kaz legit acts in self defense).

Let’s say that, instead of the funhouse, chapter 4 gives motivation videos regarding everyone’s home. Of course, Sonia’s is about how her kingdom is falling into shambles. Extremely stressed, she locks herself in her room for several days. She eventually decides that, to save her kingdom, she has to sacrifice everything, even her morality. She decides to kill.

So, Sonia goes after the easiest target: Soda. Because of his blind faith in her, Soda wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever she asked. So Sonia asks him to meet her in some secluded area, perhaps the abandoned warehouse from chapter 1, sometime late at night.

Soda agrees to this blindly because he can’t EVER believe that Miss Sonia would ever do wrong. However, when he arrives, she attacks him, perhaps stabbing him in the shoulder. I know this is probably slightly underestimating Sonia, as she is trained in weaponry and could probably kill Kaz in one blow, but let’s say she’s so distressed that she doesn’t fatally would him.

Of course, there’s a struggle because, as much as Kaz obsesses over her, he’s not going to let Sonia murder him. She eventually backs him into a corner but, before she can kill him, he knocks her out with a wrench or something (he’s already established to carry one around because it comforts him, so it makes sense that he’d have it)

So now Kaz is alone, bleeding in an abandoned building with an unconscious woman at his feet. That would be a good point to wake everyone up and say what happens, but here’s where Kaz’s personality comes to bite him again. He still has faith in Sonia despite everything, unable to see her faults despite her having literally tried to kill him

So, his first priority is covering up HER crime. He hides the evidence of the attack as best as he can (which probably isn’t well given his panic and his wound). Then, he takes Sonia and carries her back to her room. He probably ties her up so she doesn’t her anyone else or herself when she wakes up.

The next morning, Sonia isn’t at breakfast. Given that she’d locked herself in her room for several days, it wouldn’t be suspicious. Not wanting her to stay tied up, Soda offers to take breakfast to her. Once there, he wants to talk to her and calm her down, before letting her go and never telling anyone what happened.

However, you can’t just knock someone over the head and think they’re fine. That kind of kills people, and Soda soon learns that. When he gets into Sonia’s room, he finds her still tied up, dead.

Kaz is a coward, but is shown to be kind at heard. So, while I don’t think he’d be brave enough to confess, I don’t think he’d be willing to kill everyone else. Perhaps he’d try to kill himself before the trial to spare himself from execution. However, Nagito stops him. Nagito convinces Soda to cling onto the hope that he ISN’T the killer, and instead someone came to Sonia afterwards and killed her. It’s farfetched, but given his mental state, Kaz would buy it.

This all creates something I’ve always wanted in DR: an innocent blackened. Soda acted in self defense and had no intention to kill. In the trial, he wouldn’t be hiding info in an attempt to trick everyone, but in misplaced hope that he ISN’T the killer.

Not only that, but this outcome really highlights the error of Soda’s mentality. Because he so blindly trusted Sonia, he was easily tricked by her. Because his self esteem is so bad, he doesn’t even get mad when she tries to kill him, instead hiding HER crime. Perhaps, if he’d gotten upset and ratted her out, she could’ve gotten some kind of medical attention and been saved. Instead, Kaz bent over backwards for her, leading to their deaths.

That was a long tangent, but the point is, I want Kaz’s failure to learn from past mistakes to be addressed, either by him growing past it or being punished for it. Nether happens though. The Sonia obsession continues throughout the ENTIRE game, with it never being addressed as a problem. It’s really strange thematically and character wise, as addressing it could’ve given both characters good development.

Moving on from Sonia somewhat, I HATE Kaz’s character ark, as he doesn’t evolve, but devolves. The source of Kaz’s problems is lis low self esteem. If he cared about himself more, he wouldn’t have accepted poor treatment from his friends in exchange for their companionship. He wouldn’t have changed his appearance and personality because he thought he was unlikable and boring.

Despite that however, in the end, the lesson he learns is to trust people again. That’s not a BAD lesson, but it doesn’t solve the problem. His self esteem is still nearly nothing; by once again falling into the idea that he has to trust his friends nonmatter what, he’s setting himself up to be used again (I’m not saying anyone in the DR2 cast WOULD do that, but the possibility remains.)

By trusting again without gaining self esteem, Kaz somewhat goes pack to step one. His ark really shoud have been about trusting and loving HIMSELF before he trusts and loves others. Kaz needs to realize that he doesn’t need to put on a tough act to make friends, as anyone who requires a tough act to like him isn’t his friend at all. He needs to realize that he deserves good treatment, and someone being your friend doesn’t justify cruel behavior towards you.

But! He never learns that!!! He just goes right back to trusting without considering his self worth. That...really isn’t healthy and I wish it was addressed in his ark.

Another thing: why doesn’t Kaz have any dead friends? The entire surviving DR2 cast has someone who they were close to that died, Akane and Nekomaru, Fuyu and Peko, Hajime and Chiaki, Sonia and Gundham. It’s strange that everyone BUT Kaz has a close relationship with someone who dies in game.

Why not make Kaz friends with Mikan? I feel like they have a bit in canon, with both being anxious and prone to being bullied. I feel like a friendship between those two could be used to show Kaz’s more genuine personality. It’d be a chance to show that he isn’t CONSTANTLY thirsty over girls, that he can talk to Mikan without a hint of lust. Instead, they could just be friends, finding comfort in the fact that there’s someone else who’s just as terrified as they are.

Also, this relationship could be used to both mess with Kaz AND make another parallel to DR1. Make Mikan frame Kaz for the killing, just like Celeste with Hiro. This would not only be super interesting, but also a MASSIVE blow to Kaz’s ability to trust, which is already terrible. Also again, I just feel like Kaz’s anxiety is used for comic relief too often. I want this boy to straight up have a panic attack in trial. Destroy him with fear.

So uh, yeah. I feel like Kaz’s depth is sacrificed for the sake of comic relief. He could’ve been so much more, but he isn’t and it’s a shame. Also, if you read this whole thing, then you must be just as obsessed with Kaz as I am. So, send me some good Kaz fics! It is SO HARD to find a fic that focuses on Kaz instead of Nagito. Do it.

#why did I write a NOVEL?????#IM SORRY I GOT IN THE ZONE #watch out i may do the same thing with Taka #dont test me #i just have feelings about this boy #kazuichi soda #Danganronpa

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argentdandelion · 4 years

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Lightners Aren't Mind-Controlling Darkners

Argument: Nothing supernatural or very unusual influences Darkners’ decisions to help Lightners. Kris and Susie just happened to fall into a social environment where Lightners are seen as famous, helpful, esteemed heroes: much like beautiful, kind, and wealthy royalty-philanthropist-celebrities that no one’s heard from in a while. The psychological effects are all mundane, just amplified by the particular situation.

Introduction

Ralsei’s behavior (and to a lesser extent, Lancer’s behavior) might suggest a “fulfillment effect”: some kind of supernatural psychological effect that bestows or unlocks a strongly positive emotional state for Darkners when they assist Lightners. This would skew interactions in Lightners’ favor, and explain a lot about Darkners’ friendliness and admiration. (and especially for Ralsei)

The most logical interpretations of the “fulfilment effect” have delayed effects or only moderate results, rather than, say, immediate and visible surges of a unique positive emotion. But, for the milder interpretations it would be harder to prove any kind of mind control. Most persuasively, not all Darkners are eager to help Lightners; some, most notably the Spade King and Rouxls Kaard, actively hinder or attack them. Indeed, there are so many unclear correlations, loopholes, and ways to avoid or bypass the “fulfillment effect” that it brings into question whether this effect exists at all.

If, though, the effect is not supernatural, but normal psychology, it’s much easier to explain all the inconsistencies or loopholes.

Lightners the Celebrities

Lightners live a life something like royalty-celebrity-philanthropists, if paparazzi didn’t exist to spread or stir up anything imperfect. For one, Lightners live a sort of parallel life of glamour in faraway areas: Lightners can go between the Light and Dark worlds, but it seems Darkners cannot do the same. The Light World might seem like a mysterious or even glorious realm to Darkners, and they cannot learn about it for themselves.

In addition to the lack of information about how they live, it’s hard to grasp the depth of their personalities or attitudes. Lightners don’t live in the Dark World, and the nature of the Dark World lacks mundane frustrations (school, traffic tickets). Thus, there would be fewer opportunities to look grumpy or flawed.

Furthermore, it would seem Lightners and Darkners have been in friendly relations for a long time, and Lightners have a reputation for kindness and helpfulness. If all the Lightners that have shown up have only ever been kind and helpful to Darkners, Darkners might assume this is inherently a property of Lightners, and love them for it. Indeed, this is so assumed of Lightners that a Lightner who isn’t kind or helpful (i.e., Susie) is hard to understand or surprising. One Rudinn (who’s fanning Lancer) seems baffled at the possibility of a “mean Lightner”. However, other characters apparently can’t recognize Susie as a Lightner at all, calling her a “beast” instead. Even Top Chef, who would logically know that Lightners have shown up to fight the king by the time of the epilogue, still calls Susie a “beast” or (potentially) “Clover’s mother”. (Suggesting she’s a Darkner)

It is normal to feel happy when helping others, but this normal result is likely amplified when helping Lightners, due to their status as royalty-celebrity-philanthropists. Furthermore, the Lightners are outright characterized as heroes by a few Darkner characters: their sudden outfit changes probably help this. (One Darkner outright says: “You folks look like heroes!”) Additionally, as he Lightners oppose the anti-Lightner king whom nearly everyone dislikes, it would only make them look better.

Should Ralsei suddenly feel positively giddy when helping Kris (especially if he happens to have a crush on Kris) Ralsei probably would assume something special is happening. Ralsei, after all, has apparently lived alone his whole life, waiting the other legendary heroes to arrive, and he has no life experience with which to compare his feelings. Of course he would put them on a pedestal and worship them even more than most Darkners.[1]

Conclusion

While Lightners do not actually have mind-control powers over Darkners, it’s still possible the Lightner-worshipping social dynamic could be unwanted or unhealthy.

For example, Susie doesn’t seem interested in performing the role of a hero and its expectations, even if she does want to go home and sealing the dark fountain is the only way to do that. She’s also unnerved at the idea Darkners’ “purpose” is to assist Lightners.

Ralsei, too, has an unhealthy amount of hero worship/celebrity worship. Though his position as one of the Delta Warriors would logically put him on more even footing with Lightners than most other Darkners, he still acts awfully self-effacing and conflict-minimizing. This “worshipping” isn’t a healthy foundation for a friendship, and it could cause problems later on.

Knowing Lightners aren’t really gods...what would Darkners think if Susie and Kris revealed they were just outcast teens in the Light World? Would they worship them nonetheless? Would they deny it? It remains to be seen.

Made with the help of Tumblr users Ihasafandom and Batter-Sempai. If you enjoyed what you read, consider donating to the author's donation hole. (Patreon and Ko-Fi links on the sidebar of the original blog)

[1]One should note Ralsei isn’t highly self-effacing with everyone. For the very few times he’s visibly upset/angry, he’s upset/angry at Lancer/Lancer and Susie, but probably aimed at Lancer. He also looks mildly annoyed or displeased with Lancer/Lancer and Susie on a few occasions.

#Deltarune #Ralsei #Analysis #Meta #Social Relations #Celebrity Worship #Delta Rune #Theory #Deltarune Theory

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jiminscaramel · 5 years

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plateau | jimin [bts]

[GENRE] angst, smut

[COUNT] 4K+

[PAIRING] jimin x fem. reader

[WARNINGS] unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (m receiving), deep throating, face-fucking, cumplay, mouth spitting, dirty talk, slight sir kink if you squint

[AU] college, childhood friends, f2l, fwb?

[A/N] hello all! This is the extended Jimin drabble that was highly requested by you guys! It might get a part two because I feel like I need more space and words to write this level of angst. This is also my first attempt at very explicit smut so I hope it’s not too bad. Please enjoy!

⬸ drabble ⡇⤑ part 1 ⡇⤑ part 2

Your room has always been stuffy and tonight is no different. The well-sized, humid room is big enough to accommodate all your furniture and precious belongings but it never seems big enough to handle more than one person. It feels cramped, almost crowded whenever Jimin is around, though never in an invasive way. The smothering intimacy is usually quite comforting, being so close to someone so kind and familiar. You’d never given the proximities much thought, even throughout your most volatile years of raging hormones and unexplained urges.

Things had always been neutral, level and balanced. And it had been a mutual agreement, albeit an unspoken one. Your friendship had transcended that of any other normal companionship and the two of you often spoke without speaking, communicating through small gestures and idiosyncrasies.

You’d really thought nothing of it and assumed Jimin thought the same.

Though the sounds softly ricochetting off your whitewashed walls prove those thoughts to be quite contrary.

His dewy palms traverse the planes of your skin, dipping and curving around every bump and valley of your body whilst his lips make quick yet precise work of your neck. Every hair stands on edge, due to the cold or his touch, you’re never entirely sure. Your fingers dig into his shoulders as he thrusts deeper, maintaining his slow and steady pace, eager to feel every last bit of you.

Your mewls of equal pain and pleasure sound in the otherwise quiet room and he shivers when your breath ghosts against his cheek, your lips grazing the shell of his ear. You mumble incoherently as his pace begins to quicken, a deep and blossoming heat beginning to form in the pit of your stomach.

Jimin pulls away and studies your face, your mouth shaped into a perfect ‘O’, and a deep groan of complete and utter lust rumbles in his chest. You can just about see the stray strands of hair matted to his forehead and feel the droplets of sweat land on your collarbones.

He leans back further and hoists one of your legs up onto his shoulder, creating a new, blissful angle. “Jimin–” you sigh into the air above, your fists clenching the ruined sheets. “Jimin, please–”

“God,” he whispers, completely enraptured by the sight below him. “You’re so fucking beautiful. So fucking beautiful.” He places a kiss on your calf and continues to piston his hips at a relentless pace, watching with hooded eyes as your breasts bounce from the motion. The lewd sound of skin against skin makes you blush in complete embarrassment but the flush goes unnoticed in the low light.

You reach up behind you to grip the headboard, your hands slick with sweat as you struggle to keep hold. Your back arches up from the bed and a desperate cry escapes your lips which only seems to spur him on even more. His free hand flies down to your stomach and continues further down south in a haste to find your clit. He rubs small circles into your little bundle of nerves and the added sensation is almost too much to bear.

You can see his lip pulled between his teeth, pink and swollen from the prior abuse. “You’re so fucking good for me, you know that? You take me so well, baby, you were fucking made for me.” His sentences are strung together with barely any room left for a breath in between but he doesn’t fail to let you know just how good you make him feel.

You can do nothing but nod through half-lidded, wanton eyes as another pang of heat flutters in your stomach, threatening to boil over any minute. Another moan gets stuck in your throat as he lowers your leg and buries his face into your neck once again, your chests colliding with every desperate breath. You wrap both your legs around his waist and urge him to pound even deeper, wanting – needing – more than anything to reach the Shangri La Jimin is more than capable of sending you to.

Your hands fly up to find purchase in his raven locks and you’re sure you’re holding on too tight but if it hurts, Jimin doesn’t let up.

“I’m– I'm so close–” your voice breaks with the admission, the heat rapidly intensifying as Jimin’s thrusts become sloppier and hungrier. Your stomach twists and turns with the most amazing sensation, you’re not sure whether you want to relieve the ache or prolong it even further. “Jimin, I’m so fucking close–”

“I know, baby, I know,” his breath is searing hot on your neck, growing heavier and heavier. Your clit throbs and you feel your pussy tightening around him, drawing him back in for more. “Cum for me, princess,” he rasps into your ear, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. “Cum for me.”

“Fuck– I-I’m–”

The sharp sting of his bite mixed with the perfectly timed thrusts and dirty words send you over the edge – tripping, stumbling and falling into a plane of intense and blinding pleasure. Your eyes squeeze shut as you cry out from the intense force of your orgasm, colourful splotches of light painting your eyelids. Your fingers tighten in his hair, harder and harder while he continues to fuck through your climax.

He babbles and slurs into your skin, his voice rising in pitch with every word, chasing his own high. “Fuck– I’m gonna cum. Oh god, I’m gonna– fucking–” he gasps, a sudden, sharp intake of air, before he stills inside of you, spilling his seed all over your walls, his cock throbbing in the aftermath.

He winces as he rolls off you, your chests heaving in unison as he pulls you close. Your skin is clammy and cold with sweat, despite his heat and the stuffiness of the room but you nestle close to him regardless. He mutters sweet nothings into your skin as the beckoning arms of sleep pull you under.

Jimin was – and still is – your best friend, despite the events that had occurred last year. The two of you hold each other in the highest regard, never letting anything get in between your unique friendship.

Though the sexual tension remains high, your sexual desires remain dry as a result of the boundaries and rules you’d set. Which weren’t anything specific, per se, but allowed the both of you to benefit from your peculiar friendship without hurting the other’s feelings.

It had been on and off until the beginning of college, which saw you in the school library at all hours of the night frantically typing up your essay more often than you’d like to admit. With so much work to do and so many lectures to attend you barely had time to spend socialising. Which, in hindsight, is probably a good thing because who knows where your benefiting friendship would’ve led to had it not been for the social deprivation. You can only assume the same thing had happened to Jimin; being too inundated with work and assignments to make real time for you.

Though in between your caffeine-jumped all nighters and his busy days, you sometimes found mutual free time, most of which was spent competing and seeing who could get the other off the quickest.

And you never really realised how much of a toll your actions had on your heart, refusing to acknowledge the far more concerning cons that come with such a complex relationship. You never really understood just how invested you are in not only the relationship but in him also, in a way that far surpasses the levels of platonic friendship.

You realised that perhaps that lonely tug in your chest at 3am when you're sitting in the library and staring blankly at your laptop isn’t just down to the inevitable caffeine crash or the longing for a friend in stressful times, but rather a yearning for his touch, a craving for his hands to be all over you.

You come to realise that you can no longer hold him up on the platonic pedestal, no longer regard him as your best friend because he had unwittingly become so much more. And if Jimin feels the same way, you haven’t the slightest idea, because if it’s one thing Park Jimin is good at, it’s hiding his true emotions.

“A toilet? Classy.” You deadpan, following him into the small cubicle.

“Dorms are too far,” he chuckles and fumbles with his belt as he struggles to pull himself free, the clinking echoing in the empty stalls. “And we can’t be too long.”

You lock the door behind you and glance at the ground, grimacing at the slimy floor. “I’m not kneeling on this floor, are you fucking kidding me?” You shudder at the prospect of kneeling on such a grimy floor, cursing Jimin and his spontaneous urges.

He sighs shucks off his jacket, tossing it to the floor, not bothered in the slightest. You only stare with your mouth agape in complete horror, but he seems totally unfazed, blinded by his need to be pleasured.

He seems short, you notice, holding less patience than he usually does when it comes to you but it could just be because he’s desperate. It would seem like a reasonable, acceptable answer that would usually soothe any qualms but his attitude recently seems a lot more withdrawn and distant. You’ve noticed a new group of friends he’s attached himself to, favouring their company instead of yours and though you’re not the jealous type, you can’t help but feel a little envious.

Because the only time Jimin wants to see you is for a quickie in the dorms or, much like now, a spontaneous blowjob in the toilet stalls. You tell yourself, repeatedly, that you cannot expect to be exclusive to him, not when your relationship has the blurriest lines. Not when he’s flooded with work and assignments. It’s simply not possible. But you can’t help that awful feeling of growing apart from the person who was once everything to you. Nothing can even begin to prepare you for that.

His soft moans bring you back to the present, bringing to attention the more pressing matter that needs taking care of. His head is tipped back against the cubicle wall, jeans bunched up haphazardly around his thighs and his cock firmly grasped in his hand. Jimin strokes himself to attention, biting his lip and suppressing further moans from escaping as he undresses you with his eyes. “Come on, we don’t have much time.”

You drop to your knees, hesitantly kneeling on his jacket, afraid you’ll soil it even further. But Jimin doesn’t seem to care, his adorned fingers lacing through your hair and guiding you to where he needs you most. You swat his hand away from his base and replace it with your own as you lick kittenishly along his engorged head, tracing your thumb around and spreading any precum leaking from the slit.

He groans in frustration, his hands curling tighter in your hair. “Ah, fuck–” he curses under his breath. “Don’t tease me, baby. You know what to do.”

But a defiant streak runs through your blood and you purposefully disobey. You continue to lick along his length, running your tongue along every ridge and vein, teasing him and leaving him keening for more before he realises what you’re doing. His groans turn into a growl and his hand pulls your head back, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

A dangerous glint flashes through them, his brown irises darkening with authority and something a little more predatory. “I said, don’t. Tease. Me.”

“Yes, sir,” though it barely comes out as a whispered breath. Your face softens as his grip in your hair relaxes and he moans out a sigh of relief when you finally take him in your mouth.

His hand cups the back of your head, gently guiding you for the time being as you work your throat, preparing to take all of him in. You hollow out your cheeks and bob along his cock with increasing speed, spit gathering in the corners of your mouth, filling the stall with lewd noises.

He hums in satisfaction, his head tipped back once again and his hips bucking ever so slightly. He hisses as you pull back with a loud pop to use your hand instead. Your hand glides along his shaft, slick with your spit and a whole load of new expletives tumble from his thick lips. It’s not long before he guides your head back, almost frantically, desperate for the feel of your velvet tongue against his cock.

Jimin pushes your head closer, forcing himself down your throat and you choke helplessly around his length, spit pooling in the corners of your mouth. Your nose nuzzles his abdomen as he pushes further, bucking into the very depths of your throat and your eyes begin to tear up.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” his voice sounds strangled, as if he’s only holding himself together with a tiny shred left of self-control. “Your pretty little mouth is just perfect for my cock.”

He loosens his grip once again, allowing you to pull back and breathe. You gasp for air, saliva running down your chin. You feel your heat throb with anticipation and squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to relieve yourself, but it only worsens matters, your panties quickly dampening further with more of your arousal.

“You look so pretty like this,” his eyes roam your face, drinking you in in your fucked out splendour, teary eyed and red faced. He bites his lip again, a primal feeling unfolding in his chest, followed by something familiar.

Guilt.

Because he knows he’s being unfair. He knows you won’t question his attitude or his behaviour because of how much you mean to him, as a friend. He knows he’s taking advantage of your kind nature and your avoidance for confrontation and he hates himself for it.

When did it get like this?

More importantly, how and why did he let it get like this? He knows you’re not built for this kind of relationship – hell, he does’t even know if he himself is built for one – but he knows you deserve better.

Which leaves him with the ultimatum: let you go or become that better person.

Jimin can’t begin to imagine letting you go but he doesn’t know where to start on bettering himself and so he finds himself doing what he does best: blocking it out.

His worry quickly dissolves once your mouth is wrapped around him again, your plush lips perfectly circling his cock in the most splendid way. He holds your head still, one hand on either side of your head, and fucks into your mouth, his cock twitching at the sounds you make when his head hits the back of your throat.

You relax your jaw to allow him better access, groaning in deep pleasure when you can. Your hands find purchase around his thighs as he thrusts into you, quickly chasing his elusive high.

“I’m close, baby,” he hisses, momentarily slowing to allow you time to breathe before he starts up again. “So close. You gonna be a good girl and take everything I give you, yeah?”

You make a sound of agreement, spit dripping onto the floor and your tears tracking down your face. You’re pretty sure you look an absolute state and that you’d have a level of explaining to do once you get to class, but you struggle to think any further than right now. Your hand snakes down into your jeans and you groan in relief when you finally feel your clit against your fingertips.

“Shit...are you ready for me, babygirl? Fuck– I’m–”

You rub in time to his thrusts, each one more forceful yet less convicted than the last until eventually, you feel his warm seed spill onto your tongue and down the back of your throat. Your hands work quickly to catch up to him and you soon feel the rest of your arousal coat your fingers as your own climax peaks.

You lean back and sit on your haunches, opening your mouth wide, showing him with a strange sense of pride all the cum inside. He smirks impishly, his eyes half-lidded and tired, but leans forward nevertheless and grasps your face with one hand, forcing your lips further apart, before spitting into your mouth.

“Such a good girl,” he pants as he watches you swallow, his hand limply carding through your hair whilst you do your best to pull yourself together.

But little does he know, you feel anything but.

Your meetings become few and far in between, fizzling out until they eventually stop altogether.

Now that you had allowed more time to pass, you’re sure that it isn’t your imagination and that Jimin has become distant. He doesn’t prioritise your calls or texts, sometimes only replying days later.

He snubs your attempts to mend things and to try and salvage something of this weird friend/relationship. You notice he surrounds himself with a whole new clique and doesn’t even acknowledge you when your paths happen to cross.

You’re too busy at first to care, your attention all focused on your work, but as the end of the semester approaches, you have less work to do and more time to think, something you know is unhealthy and won’t help.

But what else can you do?

Jimin, on the other hand, seems to believe he’s coping well by staying distracted and completely ignoring the person who once meant the world to him. It’s not out of spite and it isn’t with malicious intent but anyone of the receiving end of his treatment would say otherwise.

But he truly believes it’s for the best.

His smile shines as bright as ever from the other side of the room as he laughs at a joke someone has told. His laughter rings the loudest and rises above the general din of the classroom and makes your heart soar with sad delight.

You steal another glance and manage to catch a glimpse of his small frame doubled over in someone’s lap, laughter wracking his frame.

These days it was near impossible to catch Jimin alone, the social butterfly was always surrounded by a group of friends eager to gain his approval and earn a permanent spot on his friends list.

But you’d known Jimin for a while and it wasn’t like him. The once quiet yet outspoken boy had shed his humility and kindness and replaced them with conceitedness and uncharitable behaviour.

Yes, you agree that people change but it’s more often for the better, going through experiences that teach them more about themselves. But Jimin has definitely, without a doubt, changed for the worst.

A wave of melancholy washes over you as you continue to watch him smile, jealous of his happiness, more importantly, his happiness without you. But it’s quickly replaced with a familiar feeling of indignation, your face flaming up and your hands tightly clenched above your keyboard.

You try and stop him after the lecture is over, seizing the perfect opportunity to catch him alone. His face visibly displays his annoyance in having to stop and talk but you don’t let it deter you. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him up close and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. You steel your heart and continue, determined to set the record straight.

“You’re not answering my calls,” you state, digging your heels in the ground but ready to pounce if he attempted to get away.

He shrugs, the silver earring in his lobe twinkling as he does so. “I’ve been busy.”

You scoff at his answer and shake your head at his awful attempt to make a reasonable excuse, though the theatrical reaction is nothing more than a facade to hide the oncoming tears. “Busy? You couldn’t even make it to my birthday, Jimin. What has you that busy?”

“Many things.” He folds his arms defiantly across his chest, his usually full lips pursed into a thin line.

You blink and take a step back, the shock so strong it’s feels like a physical punch to the gut. When had he become this unrecognisable asshole? “What happened to you, Jimin?”

He rolls his eyes but stays standing, body language defensive. “I don’t know what you’re talking about–”

“I don’t even know you anymore. You’re not the same guy I knew before college. Because that’s when all this–” you motion at him in his leather jacket, his flashy jewellery and personality change. “–started. That’s when you turned into this… ignorant, ugly, self-centred pig who can’t even pick up the phone and check up on his best friend.”

His face slightly relaxes, his eyes losing their defensive spark and for a split second you see the old, humble Jimin. You think, for a second, that you’ve broken through, that you’ve talked some sense into him. But it only lasts a heartbeat before his eyes glaze over and his gaze turns cold again. And before he has a chance to change his mind, the words come tumbling out. “We’re not friends.”

You blink, not quite believing your ears, truly thinking that you’ve heard him wrong. You step back and frown, your mind reeling from the statement. “Jimin–”

“We’re not friends.” He repeats with more conviction, almost as if he’s trying to convince himself. “People change. Some for better, and some for worse.”

He leaves it at that but the implication is crystal clear. Your breath gets trapped in your throat as you try to answer back but the tears win over, pooling in your eyes and threatening to rain down.

He takes your struggle to find the right words as his cue to leave but as he attempts to walk away you lunge forward and grab his forearm, pulling him back. “Don’t–” and you hate yourself for the way your voice cracks, betraying the depth of your true emotions. “Don’t you dare walk away from me.”

Jimin’s lips thin even further as he purses them tighter, his eyes never settling on your face. He crosses his arms across his chest in a futile effort to distance himself further from you but it only aggravates you further. His eyes twinkle with saturation and it takes you a minute longer than it should to realise that Jimin is tearful.

You swipe silently at your cheeks, uselessly smearing the tears everywhere instead, and swallow the ball in your throat. “What did I do?”

He swallows but refuses to make eye contact, as if you’re not there at all.

“Why won’t you look at me, Jimin? Huh? What’s happened to you? To us? I thought– I thought we were...” you struggle again to find the right words, anger and hurt fuelling your confidence. “I don’t fucking know. But we were ok. And now we’re–”

“I’m ok.” You almost miss the quiet statement, uttered discreetly into the air between you. And nothing can quite describe the agony, the absolute phantom pain that rips through your chest like a chainsaw. He’s ok?

“Jimin, this isn’t you. Just... talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong,” you hold your breath as his eyes finally find yours. “Please?”

And just like the years before, back when things were a lot simpler, he speaks to you with his eyes. They’re watery and conflicted but beneath the raw emotions lays something far more complex. They’re still familiar and under the cold, hard exterior he’s putting on show, you recognise him.

But his words don’t match up.

“I think you should go.”

“Jimin, please–”

“I seriously think you should just get on with things...like I am... and stop dwelling on something we never had.”

And that deals the final blow, the final strike to the thing you held above all else.

He tugs on his jacket and adjusts his bag, spinning on his heel and walking off. He doesn’t even look back, doesn’t even pause until he gets around the corner. He tuts in frustration as the tears build up again and wipes them away angrily. He can feel his heart pang with every sob he can hear echoing through the empty hallway and wonders if there’s ever any coming back from this.

He knows that, in the end, you will find it in your heart to forgive him and knows that you’ll offer your hand out for a friendship again. But it’s something he’s decided that he isn’t worthy of, something as pure and genuine as your love belongs nowhere near people like him.

Because it will manifest and grow to become the very thing he’s afraid of and he hasn’t the courage to commit to something like that. Love is a dangerous and in the wrong hands, much like fire, it can kill.

That’s just not a game he’s willing to play.

⬸ drabble ⡇⤑ part 2

#Jimin smut #jimin angst #jimin fics #jimin x reader #bts smut #bts angst #Bts fics #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #hoseok angst #hoseok smut #Namjoon angst #namjoon smut #seokjin angst #seokjin smut

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lihikainanea · 5 years

Note

Tiger and Bill fucking, not anything too our of ordinary, but it clicks in her mind as she looks at his face. He’s so beautiful, kind, and is so great, beyond words. She gets very soft, her heart aching at the thought of how much he cares for her. When they both finish, she’s spun into a complete sense of vulnerability, pushing him away immediately after he finished. She started to breathe heavy, tears flowing as he stood, trying to calm her down anyway possible.

Anonymous said: bff!bill and his tiger having sex but she cries at the end, revealing something she’s going through that she actually hadn’t told him about? maybe she went on a date with a guy and he said some nasty stuff to her?Anonymous said: You think it ever had times where tiger was insecure about her body (maybe she gained weight or something) and one of her boyfriends made her feel insecure about it. How would Bill react?

Oh, nani(s). I love these. I combined them because they are all threads of the same root for me, but my god, send me more. Send me more that lets my imagination run on how good Bill is, because I’m so here for good dudes right now. Solid dudes. Confident dudes who lift up the women in their lives.

I’m guilty sometimes of swinging too much one way, and making strong people too strong and denying that they have any kryptonite. Which is funny, because I always am so enthralled by vulnerability when it comes to beautiful people. That’s the part I want to know, the part I want to see. It has never let me down.

I think most times, when tiger feels this way, it’s usually in direct relation to Bill somehow. Like she knows he’s beautiful, she sees it, but sometimes she forgets how beautiful he is, forgets this whole side to his life which is that he’s a celebrity. And then when she gets caught up in that, when she sees pictures of him with industry people…I mean shit, how can a normal human being not feel terrible about themselves? And make no mistake, he would be furious with her for thinking that way because of all people, he expected her to be smarter than that, to know him well enough to realize that he doesn’t buy into that shit either.

But I mean, beautiful people are fucking intimidating as hell, you know? And it’s easy to make yourself crazy, thinking that they don’t have stomach rolls, that they don’t have cellulite, that they wake up looking the way we see in photographs. I can go on a long rant about how destructive this celebrity machine is, how every single thing that ever makes it to our eyes is incredibly carefully orchestrated, organized, edited, to have us come to a conclusion that we very much think we come to on our own. Anyway, don’t get me started.

Also, look, my favourite bartender in the Zurich airport makes my gin and tonics super fucking strong and I just DON’T HAVE THE STATE OF MIND to edit this right now. Sorry if it’s riddled with spelling mistakes, I’ll fix it when I get to…wherever the fuck I’m headed.

***

Usually, you were better at reeling it in, getting it under control. Usually your need to knock your best friend down a few notches on his celebrity pedestal overruled any ounce of self-consciousness that had ever crept into your mind during your friendship.

Bill had always been drawn to your casualness about it, and you held on to that fact when all of it seemed to be getting the best of you. You were his safe space away from it, you protected him from it at times, forced him to face it at others times, but most of all you just…didn’t seem to care. There was a realness about you, from the very beginning, that he couldn’t get enough of because it had been so absent in most of his previous relationships, romantic or otherwise.

And he wasn’t stupid, he knew what was going on most of the time and he wished for a certain level of normalcy. Group vacations got awkward when he took part, the other women in the group never leaving their faces bare and free of make up when he was around. Even though he was a friend, their outfits seemed more carefully planned, their nonchalance a little more forced, their laughs a little more fake.

You had been unapologetic from the beginning. You didn’t seem to mind who saw you without make up, or what you were wearing. You had called him over to help install a shelf (because it was an IKEA shelf, and Bill was “all Swedish and shit”) and he smiled when you whipped open the door, a half eaten slice of pizza in one hand, hair amuck, in your pyjamas. Bar nights were low key, it was rare he saw you in heels but even though you were considerably less done up than most of the others, you still managed to catch nearly every eye in the bar with your loud laugh and your ability to beat nearly everyone at both pool and darts. And yet, you seemed oblivious to it every time.

But what was intriguing to Bill was often hard to manage at times, for you. You could usually push the thoughts to the back of your mind until they eventually disappeared, but when it was a culmination of events, it became harder and harder to ignore.

Bill was beautiful—conventionally, physically, emotionally—in every sense of the word, Bill was beautiful. And once you got to know him better, his physical beauty became the lesser of all of them, but it was still there and sometimes your forgot that it was the only beauty that some people knew or saw in him. And when compared with normal folk, Bill stuck out like a sore thumb.

He would be oblivious to the looks, but you seemed to catch them every time.

It had started the weekend before, when he brought you to a fitting for an upcoming photoshoot. He had recently signed on with a new designer as a spokesperson and was leaving for a few days to an exotic location for a new magazine spread. You had refused at first—spending the afternoon in a designer’s studio sounded like a nightmare to you—but he had begged for your company, and you agreed.

You wished you hadn’t.

Between the dirty looks the assistant kept throwing your way, how the designer had looked hesitant to even shake your hand as if the resignation of going out in public in jeans and a loose shirt was contagious, you wanted to crawl into a hole and cry. They fawned over Bill, his height, his measurements, his long legs—he was a designer’s dream, and every scrap of material they put on him looked phenomenal. You caught the way the assistant took her time measuring his inseam, the way she looked up at him, biting her perfectly outlined red lips. You fiddled with the sleeves of your shirt—the sleeves which were too long, the chest probably a little too tight, and subconsciously sucked in the two rolls that always seemed to protrude from the top of your jeans when you sat down.

This assistant, you were willing to bet, didn’t have any of that.

It had snowballed from there. For the first time in your friendship, you felt…inadequate. You felt like you finally saw what everybody else had been seeing for awhile; that you were a completely mismatched pair.

The entire week, none of your clothes seemed to fit right, nothing seemed cute. You didn’t know if you had gained weight or if you were just bloated for some reason or another, but things seemed too tight, your breasts looked too big in some shirts, too small in others, noticeably lopsided in the rest. Your jeans fit properly until you had breakfast or lunch or dinner, and then you started to feel your stomach roll over the tops of them.

And now every time Bill walked in the room, you wanted to curl up and disappear. Because he never seemed to look anything short of beautiful; whether it was in the morning when he first woke up, his hair a tousled mess and his eyes barely open, or late at night when he had been working away on a script and his voice was raw, his eyes bloodshot—he still looked beautiful. When he was exhausted, deep bags under his already hollowed out eyes, his cheeks drawn in, there was still a beauty to him. In nothing but jeans and a t-shirt, skinny as he was, there was still something so beautiful about the way he moved, the way he stood. And while you were usually able to push those thoughts away—because this beautiful man was your best friend, and there was so much more to him—sometimes, the thoughts still won. Sometimes, you had a very hard time understanding how someone like him could seek out someone like you, even for just a friendship. And now that your friendship had evolved in a much more physical way, you had no idea how he could be attracted to someone like you, someone so many notches under his level.

So when he reached for you the night before he went away, sneaking up behind you and wrapping his arms firmly around your waist, you enjoyed his embrace for the few seconds you could before those thoughts crept back into your mind. And when he pressed a kiss to your earlobe, a few to your jaw before tilting your chin back to lay his lips more firmly on yours, you let him. Because he almost made you believe. He broke away with a nip to your bottom lip, spinning you around and grabbing you more firmly by the waist, planting his lips on yours again. He groaned into it, but when his hands started to creep up your shirt, the freight train of self-consciousness slammed into you and you pulled away.

“Bill, I can’t…” you paused, swallowing hard, “I’m on my period.”

It was a lie, but it was an easy way out and one he wouldn’t ask questions about.

“Oh,” he said, and you caught the disappointment in his voice before he hid it behind a lopsided grin, “Okay.”

He kissed your nose, pulling you tighter against him.

“I can still hold you though, right?” He smiled at you and the beauty in it made you want to recoil, to pull away, physically remove his arms from around you because you weren’t worthy of it. But you forced a smile back.

“Of course,” you replied.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, ”Like are you…comfortable? Do you want a hot water bottle?”

You needed him to just….stop. To take his arms away from around you, and to just stop speaking, stop being so kind, compassionate, understanding.

When you went to bed that night, he drew your back into his chest, his arms looping around you as he tucked his face into your neck. He brought a hand to your front to press gently on your lower belly like he sometimes did for you to ease some of the pain, but you caught it in yours and pulled it away before it snuck under your shirt. You felt him shift, kissing you lightly on your cheek.

“Tiger?”

“Mmm?”

“Is everything okay?” He asked. Even that, his perceptiveness, his kindness, how gentle he was—you wanted to scream, to shake him, to ask him why he couldn’t see what everyone else clearly saw. That you weren’t worthy. That some other girl—someone prettier, smarter, thinner, more dainty, more feminine—some other girl would be much more better suited to him.

“Fine bud,” you replied instead, “Just grumpy.”

“Ok,” he snuggled closer against you, breathing you in, “I love you, kid.”

He was up early the next morning, his suitcase already packed at your place. He had given you space when you woke up with the same scowl on your face, but as the car pulled up in front to take him to the airport, he stood in front of you.

“Grumpy or not, get over it kid,” he said, “I’m not leaving here until I get a proper hug. So get your sad ass in my arms.”

“I’m not sad, Bill,” You huffed, rolling your eyes.

“Fine, then get your mad ass in my arms,” he quipped, and you crossed your arms defiance but he waved you over with two fingers. And he looked so cute, so relaxed, freshly shaved with his hair all floppy, and he smelled so good. So you did as he said, biting back the anger when he wrapped his arms so tightly around you, kissing your head, taking a big sniff of your hair. It shouldn’t be you. It should never have been you.

You tried to work on it while you had a week and a bit without him. Tried to bring him down a notch in your mind. But every time you tried, some memory of his kindness, of how he cared so deeply for you, of how beautiful he looked when he was laughing and so carefree, it all came flooding back. The first time you slept together, how he had been so focused on you and how he still focused on you, all these times later. How he always made sure you ate, worried about your comfort, if you were cold, if you felt safe. How he always asked you to text him when you got in if he knew you’d be out that night, even if you were thousands of miles away from him. How he just took care of you, of all of your needs, so completely and thoroughly.

A shitty few days at work, clothes that somehow started to just feel so much tighter around you, and terribly-angled photos of you from a fun night out that had you cringing were enough to put you in even worse of a headspace by the time he got back.

But when he walked in—his hair a little lighter from the sun, his skin a little more golden, his eyes a little more clear—he looked ethereal, and for just a few minutes, you let yourself be selfish. Because it was impossible not to feel his genuine happiness, his excitement at seeing you again, as he swooped in to lift you up. And when he set you back down on your feet, a soft kiss on your cheek turned into a few trailed on your jaw, a tentative one placed on the corner of your mouth. And when you responded just enough, he captured your lips in a searing kiss that left you weak in the knees. His lips were so soft, gliding against yours with confidence and passion and lust and gentleness all at the same time. And when he wound his arms tightly around you, groaning as he pulled at your shirt, there was such a hunger and neediness to him that you could convince yourself—if only for a few minutes—that he really did want nothing else. Nobody else.

He pulled away, lifting your shirt over your head and you scooted closer to his chest in hopes he wouldn’t get a good look at you. You were rewarded with that soft laugh of his you loved so much, the one that only seemed to come out in intimate times like these, and another deep kiss to your lips.

“I missed you too, tiger,” he teased, and then his hands stopped on your waist, making you flinch when he squeezed. This was it, maybe he had finally realized that your stomach was soft, squishy, that you had all these imperfections in droves when he was always surrounded by women who didn’t.

But when he pulled back to look you in the eyes, all you saw was concern and a light pink flush creeping on his cheeks.

“Are you still, uh….?” He bit his lip, his eyes shifting awkward. It took you a second to realize what he was asking—a pang of guilt at the reminder that you had lied to him to avoid his affections—but when you did, you managed a smile at his awkwardness.

“Bill, you left a week and a half ago,” you snickered, “Shark week is done, bud.”

“Oh thank god,” he sighed in relief and lifted you, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you to bed.

The feeling of his lips on you, his hands smoothing over your skin, the pleased noises he emitted, was almost enough to make your mind forget. Bill had that ability to make someone feel like they were the only one in the room, his attentions always focused solely on them. It would have empowered any normally confident woman, but the weight of it was suffocating to you.

You tried not to notice the way his taut muscles bunched under your hands, he was all hard lines and edges and beautiful tanned skin. You tried to ignore all the soft parts that his hands grabbed at, squeezed, kneaded gently as his lips followed in their path. It worked for awhile, in no time at all everything he made you feel became the only thing you could focus on and he had both of you climbing so quickly, building in a loud mess of moans and suckling kisses and panting breaths.

And when he tipped you over the edge—always making sure you finished before he did, and usually multiple times—his lips at your ear uttering praises that you didn’t deserve, his hands grabbing at parts of you that you hated, his chest heaving against yours, you wanted to recoil from him, push him away, cover yourself in blankets and cry and tell him to just leave.

So when he found his release immediately after yours, and when he brought his face to yours, bumping your nose as he smiled at your breathlessly with his eyes twinkling and a bead of sweat on his brow, laying a reverent kiss on your lips as he hummed happily….suddenly, you couldn’t take the crushing feeling of not being worth half the attentions that this beautiful man was always so ready to bestow on you. And you let it all come out. The stress, the anxiety, all the tortured feelings of the past few weeks slammed into the forefront of your brain and you couldn’t reel it in anymore.

When he collapsed onto you, you planted your hands on his chest and pushed him away. You pushed until he was on his haunches, looking at you in panic, as your tears started to flow and you scrambled to cover yourself with the blanket. You sobbed—heavy, racking sobs that bowed your shoulders.

“Tiger—hey, woah,” he said gently, reaching a hand tentatively out to you. You flinched, holding the blanket tighter around you. But he wouldn’t let up, slowly crawling towards you.

“Leave,” you choked out, because you couldn’t handle the worry in his eyes, the way he was being so careful with you.

“Please just go,” you whimpered.

“No,” he was back in front of you now, trying to look into your eyes, but you kept them downcast. He reached gently for your chin and you pulled it away.

“Tiger, did I hurt you?” His voice was so low it was almost a whisper, and you heard the regret, the sadness in his voice. You couldn’t even shake your head to reassure him.

“Kid, look at me. Please,” he pleaded, “Tiger, did I do something that you didn’t want?”

And your heart broke. You were having a full on meltdown, and Bill—your beautiful, empathic, gentle best friend that you loved more than anyone on Earth—immediately thought that it was his fault. It made you cry harder, curling in more on yourself. He shuffled closer, and then suddenly his arms were wound tightly around you and you were lifted onto his lap, his legs curling around you and his arms wound tightly around your back crushing you into his chest. You struggled, tried to push at him, but he had your arms pinned to your sides.

“Let go,” you tried to sound firm, but it came out as a broken sob.

“No,” he said, “You’re not okay.”

“I said let go,” you squirmed harder but it just made him hold you tighter as he pressed his lips into your hair.

“You have a safe word,” he reminded you gently, “Use it if you have to. Otherwise, I’m not letting go.”

He listened for it, knowing that if you uttered it, it would low and barely audible. But you didn’t say anything, so he just held you as you sobbed. He repositioned you so that you were straddling his waist and he leaned back against the headboard, burying his face in your neck and rubbing your back.

When you finally started to catch your breath, when you still heaved a bit but there were no more tears falling on his chest, he tried to cup your face to bring your eyes to his. But you resisted still, pulling away, and he let your bury your face back in his chest.

“Tiger,” he said as he stroked your hair, “Do you want to talk about it now?”

You shook your head, but it wasn’t enough.

“I need words, kid,” he reinforced, and he was using that tone of voice that you had a hard time defying. “Do you want to talk about it now?”

“No,” you whispered.

“Okay,” he yielded, “We don’t have to talk about it now. But we are going to talk about it, when you’re more ready. Yes?”

“Yes,” you mumbled.

“Good, kid,” he praised, “But I need to know two things. Can you give me an answer for just two things?”

“Yes,” and you nodded. His encouragement was helping you out of your headspace.

“Look at me,” he said, and his voice was gentle but still held that firm undertone. You did as he asked, begrudgingly bringing your eyes to his and your heart constricted when you saw the amount of concern and worry in his eyes. He ran his thumb across your cheek.

“Thank you,” he said when your eyes met his, “Are you hurt, tiger?”

“No,” you answered, and he rewarded you with a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Okay. Was it something I did?”

“No,” you replied honestly, and you tried to maintain eye contact to reassure him. You knew it would crush him if you were distressed because of something he did, and you owed him that confession. Owed him the peace of mind.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” you whispered, and you made a feeble attempt to push him away once more but he responded by squeezing you tighter.

“I’m going to keep holding you, okay? And if you want me to stop, you know what to say.”

But you didn’t want him to stop. You wanted tell him no, to push him away, to have him recoil like you thought he should. You wanted him to respond the way you thought he ought to, and it only made you sob harder when he didn’t.

“I love you, kid,” he murmured, “and I’m sorry you’re hurting. But we’ll fix it. Together. If you’ll let me help.”

#Leilani answers #BFF!Bill #BFF!Bill HC #BFF!Bill headcanon #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard

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nadziejastar · 4 years

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It's sort of amazing the difference between the fan interpretation of RAX and how they interact in canon. In Days they're super dysfunctional, border on being toxic, and their friendship was unsustainable from the start even if they didn't realize it. In fanon they're a picture perfect family who can never be torn apart. And the KH3 went with the fan interpretation instead of acknowledging any of their issues.

I totally agree. I think the reason is that the fandom tends to be very young. It’s a big reason why Akuroku became so popular, IMO. Young teens tend to misinterpret unhealthy obsession (like Axel’s) as romance and true love. And the Sea-Salt Trio’s dysfunction also was also overlooked in a similar manner.

I gotta be honest. I feel pretty uncomfortable with the general interpretation of the Sea-Salt Trio in this fandom. It’s just so bizarre to me how Roxas and Xion’s friendship with Axel was put on such a pedestal and how his relationship with Isa was pretty much ignored by almost everyone. It’s just…amazingly unrealistic if you think about it. I think it’s a testament to how young the fans are, in general.

Axel’s relationships truly aggravate me, because he was written a LOT differently than Sora or other simplistic characters. I know that the target demographic for Kingdom Hearts is pretty young. And in the end, I think Axel’s character was a victim of that. Nomura tried to write him very authentically at first.

But his characterization was dumbed down to fit in with a largely tween/teen audience and their preferences. I don’t say that to be disparaging to younger fans or anything. But, had KH3 not been a Disney property, and had it been targeted to a slightly older audience, I think Axel and his relationships would have been handled a LOT differently.

I definitely think the Sea-Salt Trio was VERY misunderstood by the fandom. Axel has known Saïx for at least 10 years. Probably more. Even before their backstory was explained, you could tell they have been through hell together in the organization, without anyone else to trust besides each other. Axel was willing to do all of his dirty work.

Then Axel meets Roxas and Xion. Two kids who—let’s be honest—are about on the level of your average fifth grader. Not a bad thing. They’re just very naive and childlike and he obviously can’t be 100% himself around them. Do people really think Axel is gonna replace his best friend so easily with two kids he’s known for less than a year? Apparently, yes. Let’s look how absurd it is.

Day 75

Inseparable

The Genie we met in Agrabah said he and his friend Al are "inseparable." Axel told us best friends can be inseparable even if they're not always together, but it sounded like he wasn't too sure about it himself. I thought Axel knew everything. Oh well...

At this point, Axel spent quite a while at Castle Oblivion. He hasn’t even gotten to know Roxas that well, and he’s only known Xion for a few days. It’s totally realistic that he’d say he doesn’t have a best friend. He sounds like he knows what it’s like to have a best friend, though. He just doesn’t have one anymore.

Day 96

Roxas: I just…want these days to last forever. Hanging out, the ice cream, the sunsets…

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

Not even two weeks later, he’s acting all touchy-feely about the time they spend hanging out together. Roxas and Xion make fun of him because even they know they’re not really that close, lol. They hardly know each other at this point. If you read between the lines, you could tell that he was thinking about Saïx here, too.

Friends

Author: Axel

I feel like I’ve been spending more time talking to Roxas and Xion lately than my old friend, Saïx. This has to have been what it was like, friendship.

But if that wasn’t obvious enough, the report clears up all doubt. He WAS thinking about Saïx. The message I got was: Lea and Isa had a very close relationship as humans. They were the ones who were really inseparable.

Axel misses that and, the more he remembers it, is desperate to fill the void. Every time he mentions “best friends,” it relates back to this. But this concept went “whoosh” over 90% of the fandom’s head. It baffles me. I really just don’t get it. Again, I have to think it’s due to the fact that this series skews really young.

Day 118

You Changed, Not Me

Author: Axel

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

Anyways. Three weeks later. Axel is very hung up on the past. He sounds like a heartbroken lover (because that’s exactly what he is, if you ask me). The reason Axel spends so much time with Roxas and Xion is because Isa changed.

Day 150

Too Precious to Lose

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something. I don’t remember my past, but the idea of losing the present–Axel or Xion–scares me.

A month later. Axel comes back from Castle Oblivion yet again, and he’s even more nostalgic for the past than last time. I bet Axel’s time at C.O was gonna be featured as a blank period in BBSV2. But whatever. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his memories of the past.

The reason Axel treasured his memories so much was because it’s all he had left after losing something. OBVIOUSLY it’s because of his relationship with Isa. I mean, duh. It implies a pretty special connection between Axel/Lea and Saïx/Isa for him to feel that way, especially considering how mean Saïx is to him.

I’m not trying to trash Axel’s feelings for Roxas and Xion, either, or make them out to be unimportant. They were important to him, for sure. But they absolutely did not reach Isa’s level of importance to him. No fucking way. Not. Even. Close. Especially not on Day 150. By the end of the story, Axel couldn’t bear to lose Roxas and Xion because they were all he had to fill the void of Isa.

That’s not to say that he didn’t care about them as friends, or that he was just using them. It just means that I don’t think Axel really would want to be “inseparable” with Roxas and Xion once he was mentally and emotionally healthy. He’d want to be friends with them, of course, but not hang out every day like Hayner, Pence, and Olette. He’s not on the same level as Roxas and Xion. And that’s fine.

Terra: Protect the things that matter… Right. My friends matter to me, too. So, I still have things that I have to protect.

To use a comparison, Riku was very important to Terra. I LOVED the connection between them. Other than Lea and Isa, one of the things I was most excited to see in KH3 was Riku and Terra reuniting (yeah…). They had a very special bond. Riku helped comfort Terra when he was down. But. Riku was NOT as important to Terra as Aqua and Ven were. Even if Terra had spent a whole year with Riku, he still wouldn’t be as important to Terra as Aqua and Ven.

Roxas and Xion being portrayed as the most important people to Axel is as ridiculous to me as Riku being portrayed as the most important person to Terra. It would be weird if 99% of the fanart out there depicted Riku as Terra’s best friend and Terra’s reunion with Riku got more spotlight in KH3 than his reunion with Ven and Aqua.

That’s how I feel about the Sea-Salt Trio. I really liked it for what it was in Days. A complex, morally grey friendship between an emotionally damaged adult and two innocent kids. But I really don’t like the overly saccharine, cutesy, cuddly, one-dimensional fandom version of it, where Axel is treated like he’s on the same level as the two teens. It’s a testament to how young the fandom is that people really thought Lea would be “meh” about reuniting with his childhood best friend who’s been possessed for 10 years, and be waaaay more excited about getting to eat ice cream with two teens every day once again.

Day 172

What’s Love?

On my mission at Beast’s Castle, Xaldin told me about "love” and the special power it has over people. I tried to ask Axel about it, but his explanation didn’t make any sense to me. Every time I ask him about this kind of thing, he tells me I need a heart to understand. It’s like he’s dodging the questions.

Axel tolerates severe emotional abuse from his possessed best friend because he loved him back when he was normal. He copes by with his extremely shitty life by living entirely in the past, through his memories. Hanging out with two kids helps him remember his old life, back when he was happy. God, he was such a fascinating character. Such wasted potential.

Day 193

Best Friends

Xion's awake now. The three of us were gonna go get some ice cream after our mission, but she passed out again, so we had to take her home. I talked with Axel in her room until she woke up. He said the three of us were best friends—inseparable.

Axel said he had no best friend on Day 75. Now it’s Day 193. That’s only 119 days. That’s less than four months!! He gets in a fight with Saïx, who, once again, says he’s changed. A very sore topic for Axel. Then immediately afterwards, he says these two kids are his best friends.

If I was gonna compare it to real life: Let’s say Lea and Isa were two normal high school kids who were kidnapped and raised in a gang. Axel is a 25/26 year-old former gang member. He’s got blood on his hands. He’s a good person deep down, but he’s seen a lot of shit. Then he meets these two fifth graders. This adult gang member, with tear-drop tats and everything, suddenly starts calling these two fifth graders his best friends. He wants to spend all of his time eatig ice cream and playing Minecraft with them.

If this was real life, would anyone say how cute it is that they are best friends? Two kids who he had to teach the concept of “best friends” to? NO! No, they’d say that’s unhealthy and weird and that the guy needs therapy. Because it IS unhealthy and weird. Perhaps it easier to see that as an adult. Perhaps it’s easier to see it in a romanticized way when you’re young.

The Sea-Salt Trio was, in a way, Axel forcing the label of “best friends” on two kids in an attempt to cope with the heartbreak of his loss of innocence. It did have genuine cuteness and sweetness. Of course it did. Axel was not a predator or anything. Roxas and Xion loved him. Axel loved them. But…it wasn’t as cutesy and wholesome as people make it out to be. At least not from Axel’s end. It wasn’t JUST a cute wholesome trio.

That’s what made it so good. It was complex and grey. Axel never went against the organization, even though he could have if he really wanted to. It got to the point where he nearly killed both Roxas and Xion, just because he couldn’t bring himself to go against the organization. And the reason he couldn’t go against the organization was because of Saïx. Yes. Axel came thiiiiis close to killing both Roxas and Xion for a sociopath who treated him like shit. Their friendship was very dysfunctional and had a lot of kinks to work out.

Again, I’m not trying to denigrate the bond Axel had with Roxas and Xion. It was still genuine and sweet, in a sad and messed up way. I can still appreciate the cuteness of it.

But I hated the Sea-Salt reunion in KH3. Because it only focused on the most one-dimensional, saccharine and cutesy portrayal of them possible. They didn’t have to talk about anything. It was just instant hugging and ice cream, now they’re best friends forever. Everything played up to the max to manipulate people’s emotions. None of their issues were worked out and they had no better understanding of each other than they did at the end of Days. Honestly, even though Roxas and Xion got the red carpet treatment compared to Isa, the resolution to their trio was just as pathetic as Isa/Lea’s duo.

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harelan · 5 years

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tell us about the meta you were gonna write in the tags! pls i have a n e e d

like ok YES obviously this is funny and also, this has been said a thousand times

however ,

one of my favorite things about solas (as a character) is just how obviously lonely and isolated he is and i mean he flat out tells you after his personal quest that he’s used to having no one he could turn to in grief. and this obviously extends back to before he erected the veil, when he was leading the elven slaves in revolt and they started making him out to be a god as well. a pedestal is a lonely place. (this compounded with how he counsels sera to use the jennies -- "You have already divided your group's membership. That is wise. No one cell can betray all your secrets.“ -- indicating that he ran his own rebellion with everyone working on a need-to-know basis and him being the only one who knew everything, meaning he really couldn’t confide in anyone in the rebellion -- lest they betray all his secrets -- and we know from the library in trespasser that he was something of a... pariah among the normie ancient elves)

anyway. when solas says that spirits are his only friends he probably really means it; the only beings who could be sympathetic to him and also did not make him out to be more than he was.

but i do wonder if solas’ ability as a dreamer affects how he can relate to spirits -- by which i mean, like, if he can shape the fade and if spirits reflect what you expect of them, his relationships with them would be quite one-sided. the fade and its residents could be a comfortable cocoon for him, a place where he could find comfort and support when he needed it, but the intimate reciprocal nature of a relationship between two imperfect corporeal beings... i’m just not convinced spirits could replicate that.

which is why i think a friendship of any sort with the inquisitor is so important. they like him as a normal person. they value what he has to say and care about his comfort and safety. he can’t tell them everything, can’t lay all his troubles out for them, of course. but they are neither the rebel elves who see him and think “god” nor the citizens of arlathan who see him and think “traitor”. a befriended inquisitor is something different.

this is all true of a romanced inquisitor, and then some. he is so lonely. part of me wants to set that as a defining character trait of his. his conflict is between his duty and his desire -- to bring back the people who isolated him because he must, or to abandon that duty and be satisfied with a world that is to him imperfect but that is home to people who value him as an individual.

he knows he can’t. he knows himself. if your inquisitor has high enough approval to romance him, they’re probably some variation of kind or clever or curious. they’re in some way admirable and moreover they like him, too, as a person, and he knows logically that it’s a bad idea. he says it like a speech act, like “we shouldn’t” will give him the strength to stop himself.

i’m not exactly sure where i’m going with this. this all hinged on me remembering that solas’ greatest fear is dying alone. not failure, not letting his people down. it’s living the rest of his life as lonely as he has been.

#i only just realized that the original post is from 4 years ago fjdsklfds #carly tells tales #drthamen

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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Dragon Ball. Dragon Ball Z Dragon Ball Super. Which is your favorite?

Oh, anon. You poor soul. You’ve activated my current obsession. Okay. I preface this by saying that DBZ, imo, is the CLASSIC. Frieza, Cell, and Buu? Iconic. DBZ is what I think of as the core of the DB franchise and I adore it accordingly. That being said… I’m really, really loving Dragon Ball Super.

(And I’m totally gonna tell you why because you made the mistake of starting this conversation in the first place :D)

I’m just? A sucker for lore filled with fallible gods?? This is my long-lived love of Greek mythology rearing its head. Even back in DBZ the Supreme Kai was instantly a favorite of mine. Yeah, yeah, the whole fandom rags on him for supposedly being “useless,” but that’s precisely why I love him? He starts out as this mysterious, incredibly powerful figure–powerful enough to scare the crap out of Piccolo–and then very quickly falls off that pedestal, making him relatable and humanized. Shin clearly has a shit ton of trauma from, you know, watching Buu kill and/or absorb his entire family. He’s been forced to take on a job meant for five and he definitely hasn’t been trained (or at least fully trained) for this particular position. He comes to Earth expecting to use mortals as a tool, as one would expect from a high-ranking god, and is just totally blindsided by how powerful they are. It’s an instant double-edged sword. On the one hand hell yeah defeating Buu just got a whole lot more likely. On the other hand, existential crisis much? Who am I–who are all the gods–if we’re not intrinsically more powerful, knowledgeable, or spiritually sturdier than the mortals we watch over? Goku, Vegeta, and especially Gohan upset the presumed hierarchy. It’s why we get such a good dichotomy between Shin and Kibito. Shin rolls with this new information and embraces it fully. Okay. Mortals are stronger than us in so many ways, how wonderful! We can learn from them and rely on them, forming equal partnerships to achieve our goals. Kibito is stuck in his assumptions. How dare you set foot on this world? How dare you think you can pull out the Z Sword? How dare you think yourself equal to a god?

It’s a familiar theme for DB: humanizing the latest, all-powerful entity. And each new introduction becomes more extreme.

Kami was our original god… who got some awkward moments. Then King Kai is the top guy…who loves lame jokes and lets Goku tear up his sacred planet in the name of training. Then Shin, Supreme Kai of the whole damn universe… who is also an anxious bean Just Trying His Best. It’s a theme I love because it upholds humanity (or in this case Saiyans adopted by humanity) as beings of endless potential. DB is all about pushing past your limits, but that doesn’t just apply to physical power. It also ties into upending the status quo; showing those who think themselves arrogantly better–in this case the gods–that no, we all have worth here. When the chips fall it’s mortals who consistently manage what the gods cannot, reaching a point where, ki-wise at least, they’re indistinguishable from gods, raising the question of why they were ever above them in the first place. They’re not. We’re all on equal footing once those assumptions are acknowledged and done away with. Ancient Kais can like dirty magazines. Supreme Kais can have panic attacks. Destroyers can love pizza as much as the next, average anime watcher.

Indeed, we see in the Tournament of Power that these rules now apply to Goku in his god state. He might have reached incredible power that everyone else thought impossible… but that doesn’t make the rest of the cast “below” him. It’s only because of his friends–presumably “useless” friends like Krillin and Tien–that allow him to enter the tournament and get as far as he did. It’s his old mentors who he has far outpaced that remind him he still has much to learn and who help Goku tap into Ultra Instinct in the first place. It’s a simple android we haven’t seen in years who manages to win the whole damn thing. The story consistently applies that same message of equality and worth to everyone, including our original paragon who has now reached the status of the very beings he’s worked to outpace. Rather than turning Goku into the hypocrite, DB keeps reminding him that no amount of power is going to change his or anyone else’s worth. He’s still BFFs with Krillin. Still married to Chi-Chi. Still needs other “weak” people like Bulma to help him when things get tough. No time machine, money, or strategic smarts? Sorry, no win.

In short, Dragon Ball Super takes that fantastic message and dials it up to 11. Now suddenly we’ve got a scary Destroyer God… who is easily swayed by tasty Earth food and a good nap spot. Angels who are equally humanized in their humor and love of mortal creations. An omnipotent ruler who is recognizably child-like. It both makes Zeno lovable and downright terrifying. He’s human enough to form friendships and use his power inappropriately. Zeno has the capacity to fall in love with a simple handshake as well as destroy an entire universe with the same detachment that we might, say, walk through an ant hill. Why did I do it? Because I could and no one has taught me yet that this might be something I shouldn’t do. Everyone has the capacity for growth.

youtube

And it’s so goddamn funny? Literally this scene is everything to me because it slams godly assumptions together with simplistic, mortal friendships, then lets that contrast play out. The most powerful being ever, creator of it all, the god that makes every other god shake in their boots wants… a friend? Okay! Our equally intimidating Grand Priest cracking up at this development? Whis losing his shit in the background? Shin straight up fainting? Goku pressing his shiny new god button because who DOESN’T press a button when you’re suddenly presented with one? All of it slays me. Forget stories where you endlessly bow before your supposed betters, knowing that you will never be able to even fathom their power. I want more stories like this, where the hero introduces enough kindness and brazen communication that it upends everyones’ expectations and fun, crazy new relationships form. Goku moved from utter shock at learning the Supreme Kai even existed to hoisting him over his shoulder like a drunk friend who is still refusing to head home. I love this weird-ass family.

All of which of course introduces the opposite as well. What if we’re given Zamasu, a fallible god whose imperfections don’t result in him becoming another quirky family member, but lead him down a path that endangers the entire multiverse? Though Super hasn’t commented on it explicitly yet, we’re also starting to toy with the idea of exactly how “human” the top gods are and how much growth they are capable of. For example, I’m fascinated by the Grand Priest. The anime makes him out to be far darker than he is in the manga, and I know there’s a disconnect between the two, so I’m not currently inclined to think that he’s the end Big Bad. Rather, he seems to actually have a stronger moral sense than Zeno–he comments on how awful it is that mortals riot and kill one another after learning about the Tournament–but as Zeno’s subordinate, and being well aware of how easy it can be to displease him, he’s not in a good position to sway him. We see him introducing tiny bits of logic to the Zenos (like stopping the fight between Goku and Toppo in the anime), but that’s a far safer thing to suggest then, say, “How about we don’t erase a ton of universes at once, hmm?”

Like his angel children, the Grand Priest ultimately exists to serve his Lord… but Goku and his friends are in no such position. Not as overtly, anyway. Created through evolution and developing their own ideals, they have the freedom to challenge and ultimately teach all those high-level gods, including Zeno. He says it himself in that clip: “No one will try. You can do what no one else can do!” Goku, both as a mortal and a very straight forward one, has the capacity to charge past those expectations and hit on something grand.

However, we see with Whis that, wow… maybe angels really are so far removed from us that they don’t care in any meaningful way. Whis seems like a friend, but when push came to shove he wasn’t very upset about his entire universe–and a Destroyer he’s known for who knows how many thousands of years–getting destroyed. We can attribute this apathy to him assuming it will all turn out alright (if anyone would realize that whoever wins can just use their wish to revert everything back to normal, it’s Whis), but even if he actually doesn’t care much right now… he’s learning too. Whis went from shrugging about Beerus destroying the Earth (at least he has his leftovers!) to telling Trunks and Mai how to break more time rules–rules Whis originally thought were more important than anything else–just so they could get a happy ending. We’ve seen him form a legitimate friendship with Bulma. He does little things like waving a Universe 7 flag and having them hold hands that demonstrate care, outside of practicalities (like delivering Bulla so Vegeta can fight). He seems more invested in challenging the status quo than his brother and even his brother, notably, slips up and uses “Father” instead of “Grand Priest,” demonstrating a certain level of familial love that can sometimes override pure duty.

Vados copies Whis and sits with the Universe 7 team, shrugging off the other gods’ disgust. Whis then shows legit pride in Goku managing Ultra Instinct. It’s GREAT watching these beings move from seeing mortals as inconsequential specs in the multiverse to individuals worthy of their time, attention, and respect. We’re seeing that development with Whis most of all, slowly but surely.

And it helps that our protagonist is really worthy of that respect this arc. Beyond his innate capacity for kindness, Goku is wonderfully smart in Super. I myself have mentioned that being naive and battle obsessed to the point of endangering others is kind of his thing, but Super hits a wonderful middle ground. Goku is the one who thinks to use the future Zeno to destroy Zamasu. He figures out a good portion of Zamasu’s plan. He thought up the idea of using dead warriors in the Tournament of Power and instantly has a way of negating the danger Frieza would pose: let’s use Baba so he can only come back for 24 hours. The anime (strangely…) emphasizes how the Tournament is supposedly Goku’s fault, but Vados reminds everyone that Zeno planned to erase the universes regardless. Though he didn’t intend the outcome, Goku’s suggestion of a tournament gave all universes a fighting chance. Much more importantly, it introduced the reward that would ultimately save them all. Goku’s got a good head on his shoulders this time around and the story emphasizes that it’s his capacity to care that saves far more than his brute power. Sparing enemies leads to them turning over a new leaf. Cultivating a diverse family results in a team with the strength and strategy to win. The ability to look at anyone–even Zeno–and smile as you shake their hand results in allies who can save the day when your own strength fails. IT’S ABOUT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP AND I’M A WEAK GOODY-GOODY.

I just… fucking love DBS. It takes all of the best underdog themes of the DB franchise–Can a low-class warrior become the best? Can a normal human woman gain the love of a prince? Can mortals ever stand side-by-side with gods?–and homes in on those questions, emphasizing them to an almost meta extent. I could give you another hundred reasons of exactly how much I’ve enjoyed these new stories… but I should stop now lol

Last note though Ultra Instinct is AWESOME

#Anonymous #Dragon Ball Z #DBZ #Dragon Ball Super #mymetas #I'm a simple person with simple obsessions #and then I write shitty rambles about them #it is a joy in life

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dontlookatmeitwashim · 7 years

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Even The Gods Feared Them: Part Two

Boom! Part two!!! Thanks to @illustraice and her Sun/moon spirit au for giving me inspiration!

“Tikki! Plagg!” Marinette screamed, running to their sides; immediately healing them of their wounds. Bright orbs surrounded their battered, bruised and bloody bodies. “What happened? Who did this to you? Is Adrien alright?”

The redhead caught her mistress’ hand, her eyes half open. She was ready to just fall asleep, but she needed to tell her, needed to tell that the sun king was gone. “Hawkmoth… he has his head.” Tikki’s hand fell, surrendering to her needs.

Marinette’s body went rigid as she stood, her hands balling into fists. She could feel Anubis behind her, but she didn’t care. Nothing else mattered than her anger that was burning inside her. Her blue eyes turned red as she turned and the tips of her fingers turning black with her rage.

Turning around, she walked past Anubis and to her armory. The room held thousands of weapons, but there was only one that she had never been used...

It was a sword, her very first one. It was completely black and made completely out of shadows, some of the shadows wisping out of the weapon. It had the power to not only kill its opponent, but reduce them to nothing. No body, no soul, just completely gone.

The weapon was one of a pair, the second one belonged to Adrien. His was completely white and was completely blinding to anyone but Adrien and the young sun gods. It had been made from a piece from the sun, with the power to bring life to anything.

Marinette clutched the sword and nodded. He deserved this, he deserved to be taught a lesson that he will never forget. She turned and saw Anubis standing there, looking concerned and confused.

“What are you doing? And why do you have that sword?” The god had never seen that sword before, none of the gods have. His black eyes searched her face for any other emotion than anger.

She didn’t answer him, just walked past him once again and opened a portal to the only place that she knew Hawkmoth would be. It was a pocket in time, like her and Adrien’s realms, were gods from all different time periods could go and loiter around in; but they could never go into different time periods than their own. And sadly, even in that time pocket Adrien and Marinette could not meet one another…That is where Hawkmoth would go to gloat that his ‘great victory’ of the great sun king.

It had always been Adrien that adversaries targeted, always thinking that he was the strongest of the two and he would always play into it because he didn’t want to put Marinette at risk. Wouldn’t want her to revolt make to the ways before their friendship.

Entering the time pocket, no one had noticed that she walked in. The time pocket was more of a garden, trees and flowers everywhere; couches, chairs and tables placed for the young gods. She looked around and found that they were all praising Hawkmoth and partying; Adrien’s head on a pedestal. The scene made her blood boil, her blue skin turning completely black now. Raising her blade slightly, the moon spirit’s sword pierced the green grass; turning it black.

The whole garden was black and dead before long, causing everyone to become panicked. Until Hawkmoth saw who it was that was causing the beautiful garden to die. “Ah, isn’t it the kind moon spirit! Come to congratulate me in my victory?”

“I’ve come to punish you.” Her voice was even despite the rage that filled her.

This caused the whole garden to uproar in laughter, while Hawkmoth stood from the sofa he was sharing with the Greek love goddess; swaggering over to Marinette and smirked. “You? The great moon spirit that hides behind the sun king for every battle? The kind moon spirit who couldn’t protect her own friend?”

A sadistic smile spread across Marinette’s face, taking the sword out of the ground and took a step towards the purple man. “You think me weak?”

“Of course,”

She laughed, snapping her fingers and dozens of copies of her back sword had trapped all the gods and goddess in their chairs; the room becoming completely black with her shadows. Her red eyes the only thing they could see in the blackness. She grabbed Hawkmoth by his throat and forced him to his knees. “I wasn’t hiding behind the sun king… He was holding back and now? You will get to see the endless nothingness I was born into, you will become nothing.” Marinette pierced the sword in his chest, letting it slowly into his body; letting the shadow sword eat his soul with every inch she pressed into his body. “He held be back from becoming the moon spirit that was before our alliance. Back then, I was merciless and cold. There was a time when I would just snap my fingers… and destroy complete galaxies because I wished it so. Who are you to think that I would fear a lowly spirit like you.”

When the hilt of her sword was pressed against his chest, the purple spirit turned into dust. Marinette stood up tall, taking Adrien’s head from the pedestal before addressing the terrified gods. “Listen to me now! From this moment on, our realms are forbidden to all without invitation and those who trespass will suffer the same fate.”

And then she was gone… back in her palace, where Anubis had left and Tikki was pouring a cup of tea for Plagg. The moon spirit entered the tea room with a sigh, placing Adrien’s head on the table and sat down. Marinette’s sword returned to its cabinet as she made her way to the tea room.

She summoned her own cup a tea before glaring at the head, eyebrow arched. “You can stop pretending that your dead, Adrien, we are in my palace.”

The spirits of the sun and moon could not be killed by any normal blade. It took a weapon from their own armory to kill, really kill them. But there was also the fact the being in their full forms? Could kill one another. Adrien was too hot and bright for Marinette. Marinette was to dark and cold for Adrien; both would cancel each other out and seize to exist. That’s why they were only allowed to see one another during eclipses because it was only then that their power, their souls were one.

“Wow! I’ve never seen your home!” His green eyes sparkled as he looked around the room, taking in every detail before he looked to Marinette; his eyes growing dim as he thought about the earlier events. “Where is Anubis?”

Shrugging, the moon queen took a sip of her tea and leaned back on the sofa. “Today could have ended much different if Hawkmoth had gotten a hold of one of our weapons, he really could have killed you.” She ignored his question and he knew that she did. Marinette met his green eyes and smiled, she reached forward and tugged on one of his blonde hairs. “You’re lucky I love you because if I didn’t? I would have let you stay there.”

Adrien blinked a few times before grinning. “You love me?”

“I have ever since we met.”

“I’m head over heels for you, mu queen.” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Marinette made a face, but laughed and sat back once again. She let out a sigh and looked to Plagg, his black hair tied back. He met her eyes and immediately knew what she wanted, he nodded. Marinette stood up and made her way out of the room, stopping at the doorway; not daring to meet the blonde’s eyes. “I think it’s best to return you to your body… the longer you are away, the weaker you will become.

“Wait, Mari-” Plagg covered the sun king’s mouth, earning him a deathly glare as the queen left. As soon as Plagg knew that the moon spirit was no longer in ear shot, he let go of Adrien’s mouth. The sun king could only glare, it was the only thing he could do since he was only a head. “Why did you do that?”

The advisor arched an eyebrow, trying to decide if he should tell him or not. He chose not to and sat back down, sipping his tea. “If you haven’t figured it out now, then you truly are useless.”

“Plagg,” Tikki hit him over the head before turning to Adrien with a sigh. “Marinette may have finally confessed her feelings for you, but it doesn’t mean she wants to marry you… she still believes that it would be best to forget each other’s feelings and try to find someone they can have a normal relationship with.”

Adrien’s eye grew dim. He had thought she had changed her mind, he thought that they would be together. He felt like an idiot to think that she would agree to marry him. Tears formed in his eyes, he had confessed time and time again, all Marinette would do is nod and continue with business. He would send her gifts and she would merely put them away; he had given her countless jewelry and she never worn one. He should be angry, he should take back all his gifts and return home… but he couldn’t find it within himself to be angry with Marinette because he knew how she felt.

“Come on, let’s go home.” Adrien sighed. Plagg got up and picked up his head, but before he could leave. The sun king met Tikki’s eyes and gave a sad smile. “Tell Marinette that she doesn’t need to worry about me anymore… and that she and Anubis would make a great couple.”

The redhead nodded, watched them leaving the tea room Entering in the hall, Adrien’s eye caught the moon spirit’s armory and suddenly he thought of a plan. He explained to Plagg what his idea was and the advisor agreed.

Tikki sighed and took a sip of her tea, closing her eyes as she spoke. “So, your majesty, what will you do now?”

Appearing in the doorway, the moon spirit stared at the floor; her eyes mixed with so many emotions. “Nothing, it’s better this way, Tikki… come on, it’s already night.”

Standing, the two women walked outside with their weapons in hand. Marinette walked through her realm, not thinking of where they were going until she stumbled across not just one flower, but a whole meadow of beautiful flowers of gold and black. And there in the middle of the meadow was her shadowy sword and Adrien’s sun made sword; pierced into the ground.

She was sure that she had put away her sword and there was no one who could touch it but… Adrien. He must have Plagg grab it as they left., but what was the purpose of it? All it did was make the earth black around it while the golden sword brought it make to life; in an endless cycle.

“Now, these flowers? They will never wither.” The sun king grinned from the other side of the meadow, picking one of the blue flowers and smelling it. Marinette gawked at him. It was impossible for him to be here, but there he stood; in his white sleeveless shirt and pants. The white clothes had multiple delicate flowers sewn in gold. His blonde hair tied back in a braid and his cape the color of the sky.

The moon queen didn’t dare to move a single step, terrified that he would sending just vanish. “How, why are you here?”

Adrien grinned, stepping towards the two swords and place one hand on each of them. His green eyes shining brighter than normal. “While Plagg was carrying me out, I had the most brilliant idea… these swords, they are made from the very same things we are; equally as powerful as we are.” He put all his weight on his hands and lifted his legs over his head; showing off. “So, I thought; ‘since those two swords can be in the same realm, what if I used them to create a middle ground between ours’ and well… it’s bit complicated to explain, but the end? We finally have what we have always wanted; the ability to see one another any time we want.”

He pushed off the swords, flipped in the air and landed in front of Marinette. Tears were in her eyes, a void that was in her heart was filled and it was because of Adrien. She threw her arms around him, loving the warmth that he had given off. “Thank you, Adrien…”

“I would give you my very soul,” His fingers played with the ends of her hair, loving the way the stars moved as he did. Adrien pulled away slightly, still grinning as he cupped her face; fingers laced in her hair. “Marinette, I love you.”

“I love you.”

Their lips pressed together and stars started to fall from the sky in their enjoyment. His hands fell to her waist and pressed her cool body against his while her arms wrapped around his neck, kissing one another like it was going to be their last. But it wasn’t. In fact, the two spirits would share many kisses of their lifetime, get married, even have children. They would eventually hand down their throne to their children and live in endless happiness in that meadow, where they had built a palace the soon after the first time they had kissed.

(so if there are grammar mistakes? it because im only typing with one hand and/or something went wrong in uploading...)

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