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gayerthanevertbh · 11 months

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pretty when you cry.

pairings: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

n.r masterlist | navigation | n.r one-shots masterlist

summary: you and nastaha were once a happy couple, until she became a whole different person.

warnings: extremely toxic!natasha, degrading, alcoholism, verbal abuse, cheating, pure angst - 18+ MINORS DNI.

author’s note: just did this anon request! hopefully you enjoy this!

Natasha was the ideal girlfriend. She was tenacious, loving, generous, and irresistibly romantic, among other qualities that are difficult to put into words. The redhead was everything through your mending heart during the first year of your relationship. She took you on daily dates, brought you flowers every week, took care of you whenever school got in the way, and would make love to you in your bed until the sun rose again. She took you to her favorite forest, where she had a small cabin in the middle of the woods, and you'd sometimes spend time alone with her there. You sighed at those happy memories, they were once good when she suddenly transforms into a completely different person.

"I'm going to the compound for a bit," Natasha murmured as she grabbed her coat and walked to the front door without looking over her shoulder or even kissing goodbye. "You don't need to cook dinner; Steve will do it anyway."

You only responded with a nod, knowing she wouldn't say anything else but leave the house. As soon as she was gone, you could feel your own tears streaming down your cheeks, not knowing when they would stop. The pain consumed you, the loneliness fed into your system, and the sense of betrayal lingered in your mind for a long time. One thing is certain: you're not sure if you still trust Natasha. Would you? She's been acting this way for nearly two years, so you're not sure if she's still faithful to you.

You'd like to believe she was still faithful.

When the sun goes down and the air becomes colder, you decide to go to bed early because you were expecting Natasha to be late. You were used to this routine because she was gone every night. She'd come home around midnight on occasion, but most of the time she'd return the next day but not sleep in the same bed as you. She'd either sleep in the other room or on the couch, drunk from the night before. Most of the time, she comes home and then goes out to drink with her friends. The Avengers were no longer her friends; they had turned against her because of everything she had done to you. You were constantly fighting, which caused the older woman to leave the house. And whenever you mentioned these fights to Sam, he'd always say, "I told you so, Y/n."

He was right, but you still had your hopes for your girlfriend.

Surprisingly, before you got to bed, Natasha came home early that night – not even intoxicated. She goes to the kitchen and pours herself some orange juice, while lighting a cigarette from her mouth. You leaned against the countertop and asked, “Why are you home early?”

The woman scoffed.

“Can I not be home early?”

“Of course you can,” you stated quietly under your breath, knowing that within the next few seconds she would be yelling at you. “I don’t know, it’s just that you are never home.”

“I got work, Y/n. I save people’s lives, I need a fucking break from all of this shit in my life.”

You are not saving our relationship.

Knowing that she was right for the whole time, you decided to end the conversation there by saying: “Okay, you’re right. I’m going to bed.”

But she didn’t stop there, she continued to speak.

“What have you been doing all day?” she asked, almost in a condescending tone. She swung the cigarette away from her lips, chuckling. “I bet you were just lying down in bed all day, expecting me to give you everything.”

“I work too, Nat,” you sighed, pressing your fingers onto your forehead. “I don’t want to fight, okay? Can't we just go to bed?”

“You’re avoiding this conversation.”

“That’s because I know what you’re going to say.”

“What do you want me to tell you, hm?” she takes a few steps closer to your frail body, looking down at you with so much power in her green eyes. You dared yourself not to gaze back at her, because if you did – you were doomed. “Look at me!”

“I can’t.” you whispered with a voice crack, causing her to groan.

"You're so difficult to talk to," she grumbled, hurling a glass against the wall, which splattered all over the floor, your body flinching at the harsh sound. She didn't bother to console you, and she was even moved by the sound of your whimper. "You little bitch, don't cry at me. You expect me to give you everything you fucking want?!"

“I don’t even ask for anything anymore, Natasha!” you yelled back at her, wiping the tears away using the back of your hand. “We barely talk! Do you expect me to ask something from you when we don’t even communicate?”

“But that’s what you are, a greedy bitch!”

You let out a painful sob as the sound of her voice and the use of her words made your knees weaken. She's been calling you these things lately. You tried your hardest to remain strong, but it eventually caught up with you. It really does.

"I-" you stammered, afraid to look into her angry eyes. She was breathing heavily through her nose, pleading with you to speak up. “I don’t want to fight, please.”

"You keep avoiding this type of shit," she said vaguely. "Whenever I called you out, you'd tell me to go to bed. Y/n, I'm not a fucking kid. "I'm an adult!"

“Then act like one!”

Natasha raises her hand to strike you as you close your eyes, but she stops. She looked at you for a moment before dropping her hand, noticing that she was completely unaware of what she was doing, despite the fact that she wasn't drunk. She sighed as she pinched her nose bridge, mumbling: “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

"Whatever," you replied, walking back to your room and closing the bedroom door behind you. You cried yourself to sleep that night, knowing that you would have to leave her at any moment.

What happened to us?

The next few days were crucial. You and Natasha never discussed that night, and she never intended to. You were fine with the idea because it was just another way to avoid a fight, but you also wanted your girlfriend back to the way she used to be. Despite your optimism, you were beginning to give up. You had a strong feeling she would never return. She'll stay this way forever.

For some ethical reason, you took a visit to the compound, finding out if Natasha was there or not. When Tony let you in, you were surprised that she wasn’t there. Huh, you thought. Where has she gone?

“She’s not here, Y/n,” said Tony from behind. “She uhm… left somewhere.”

You turned over your shoulder, giving him a frown. What did he mean by that exactly?

“Can you tell me where she is?”

"I'm not sure if I should," he admitted, his face flushed. He rested both of his hands on his waist, still debating whether or not to tell you. He continued, “I think you’ll be very angry if I–”

Steve speaks up, his arm crossed. “You should tell her, Tony. She is entitled to know.”

"But Natasha is our family," he said. Were you also not family? His words pierced your heart, as if a knife had been thrust through it. “She’ll be very upset.”

"We've been upset with your girlfriend for a long time," the old man sighed, leaning uncomfortably against the wall. You sat down on the stool, silently requesting that he continue. "She's been cold with us, and there's something you should know before it's too late."

"I'm sorry," Tony apologizes to you. You could tell he was sincere because his eyes weren't looking back at you, and you already knew where this was going. "I'm sorry for disappointing you, sweetheart."

“Tell me what’s going on.” you whispered in final, hearing Steve breathe deeply.

"Natasha has been flirting with one of our young recruits for the past year," Steve said, his head low. "But she's gone now because Natasha asked her to. We couldn't get a hold of her, but she had every right to leave. She had no idea Natasha had a girlfriend, which made her very upset. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be mad at the girl, but that’s what happened.”

You have known this from the very beginning; all you needed to do was stop wishing that Natasha would change into a better person. There was a mixture of anger and sadness in your throat, and you didn't care much if you cried in front of them.

"Oh," you murmured, unsure what to say next..

“I know this is very hard for you, and I’m sorry that you had to hear it this way. You deserve to know what she has been doing, Y/n.”

“Did they ever had sex?”

Steve shrugged. “I’m not too sure about that, but maybe they have.”

"They probably did," Tony says. "Natasha is family, but we don't support her actions. We all know how much she loves you, but I don’t think she’s right for you.”

"That is certainly a wake-up call," you sniffled, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand. "I had a feeling she'd do something like this, let alone fuck them. I'm not sure if there are any more girls. I just…”

I just want to love you again, but I don’t know how.

You were disgusted by the thought of Natasha fucking another girl. Were you not providing her with the satisfaction she required? Most importantly, what happened to you? You had a feeling you were the source of the problem, but you couldn't hurt Natasha in this way - it was too much.

All you know is that you wanted to leave her, you didn’t care if she cheated on you, you just wanted to stay away from her presence.

“I’m going home then,” you stood up from the stool as you walked towards the front door, giving them a small smile from your lips. “I’ll see you when I’m around.”

You quickly left the compound and returned home with a scream, throwing vases around the living room area as you reflected on the times Natasha had degraded you as a person, doing infidelity scenarios behind your back, doing the things you were supposed to do with her without your presence. You returned to your old bedroom with her as you packed your belongings, leaving the jewelry she had given you as well as the books she had also given you. You had enough of her horrible behavior; you were done being hers.

Natasha returned home a few hours later, with broken glasses all over the floor, ruined picture frames from the wall, and the bedroom thrashed with pure rage. When she looked at you, you were sitting on the ground, and she already knew what was going on - she was just too embarrassed to admit it.

You muttered to yourself, your eyes getting heavy, “You finally came home.”

She asked with a choking sound in her voice, “Did they tell you?”

“They told me everything.”

“Can we talk about it?” she asked, her voice becoming softer as she looked at you.

“If you're willing to change,” you said so bitterly that you didn't recognize yourself. “If you're willing to give up the girls you've been messaging.”

“I will,” she rushed onto her knees and embraced you, kissing your collarbone. But this did not seem to have much of an effect on you, as you continued to have a trusting nature toward the woman who has caused you god knows how many problems. “I promise I will, okay?" I'm sorry, baby. I'm truly sorry. I didn't intend for this to happen.”

You nodded, your nails digging through her jacket, wishing that you could die today without being hers. But if you didn't have her, then who were you to begin with?

“I know,” you patted her back as you felt her lips lightly brush against your skin. “I know, don’t worry.”

Natasha was only perfect for a week before returning to her old routine after convincing you to stay. She was out of the house once more, drinking until she passed out on the road, then texting a girl on her phone with no shame. You were sick of her by this point. You were tired of being her partner in everything, of being her individual. Heck, she never asked you to marry her, so you weren’t that serious for Natasha. You felt lonelier and lonelier, until you were consumed by the thought of being a bad person for leaving her again.

But you knew tonight was the night of leaving, and Natasha had to just take the fact about it.

The redhead came home around midnight – as expected – and sat down with you, surprisingly kissing your knuckles. But you pulled away instantly, disgusted by her. She frowned.

“What’s wrong? I’m trying to be affectionate here.”

“I saw you texting another girl.”

She laughed, scratching her nose. “I was texting Maria about the mission, that’s all.”

“Maria isn’t named Angela,” you pointed out with a dead pan look on your face. “You don’t talk sex with Maria, you also don’t text her about it. So why would Maria be in your favorites then?”

Natasha sighed, cupping her face as she could feel irritation boiling through her veins.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s always that,” you chuckled with sarcasm, standing up from the table as you picked up your duffel bag from the kitchen floor. Natasha raised her chin, noticing that you were holding two bags. She gulped and stood up slowly, trying to hold your face. “Don’t touch me, I’m leaving you.”

“I know I’m stupid, okay? And I'm sorry,” her voice was pleading, and you were sick of hearing it. She pulls you into a hug before shoving her away from your tired body, marching you to the front door until she blocks your path. “I love you, I’m still in love with you! Don’t leave me, please. Baby, don’t.”

“Move out my way, Romanoff.”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she chanted, her cold hands meeting your arms and stroking your skin as tears streamed down her cheeks. Her pupils were bloodshot. “I’m just going through something right now, I’m sorry. Please, my love, stay. Don’t go, don’t leave…”

You sobbed loudly, stomping your foot on the ground pitifully. “God damn it, Natasha! You always do this! You only tell me you love me the minute I’m leaving you, and it makes me feel tired! I’m tired of you, don’t you understand that?”

“Sweetheart–”

“I’m tired of your mess, you picking up a fight, degrading me as if I’m stupid, and making me feel foolish too! I’m tired of you cheating on me, not spending time with me, choosing a girl over me, and everything else you have done! So please, spare me some remorse and let me leave you!”

“I can’t!” she screams, rubbing her eyes furiously. “I can’t, okay? I need you here with me! Through thick and thin, remember? I will move heaven and earth for you–”

“Do not even do that.”

"I love you so much," she said softly, pecking your lips. You let her kiss you because you knew it was the last time she'd kiss you. “I want everything from you, including your love. I promise to change, okay? I’ll stop drinking, I’ll stop it all! Just don’t leave me, baby… don’t leave.”

You pushed her chest away with all of your might, crying in front of her, feeling defeated once again. You looked at her for one last time before saying, “If I see you change, I will decide if I should take you back or not. But if you don’t, expect me to never see you again.”

You parted ways with her that evening, walking to the bus stop while simultaneously texting your mother to tell her that you'd soon be moving in with her after a separation of five painful years. During the night, Natasha let out all of her pent-up emotions, finally acknowledging the magnitude of what she had lost. She took a broken picture frame, memorizing your face as if it were the last time she looked at you. She smiled brokenly and kissed the picture, whispering for you to come back.

I’m sorry.

Are you?

TEN MONTHS LATER.

“So, when’s the baby shower?”

Your sister smiled happily at you as you rubbed her swollen stomach, amazed with the idea of a woman carrying a child. You sometimes thought about having one, but that was a long time ago. You continued to rub her rounded stomach, smiling fondly at it.

“Probably next week since James is still finding a crib for the baby,” she sighed, smiling down at you. “Are you excited to meet your niece?”

“Of course,” you responded with a grin. “Are you excited to be a mother?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

You were washing the dishes while your sister, Alica, was sleeping in her bedroom because you both ate lunch. While your father was at work, your mother was at the farm. You enjoyed being at home again, finally leaving the city and returning to the rural town where you grew up. When you peeked out the window, you noticed an unusual car going to the gravel and abruptly stopping. At first, you couldn't believe what you saw.

Natasha stepped out of the car with sunglasses on and a leather jacket slung over her shoulder. You felt your breath hitch from the sight of her, unsure whether you should leave or not. But before you could, Natasha knocked on your front door.

Don’t open the door.

Oh, but you did.

Her eyes and her glowing face greeted you. She smiled warmly at you while lowering her head, scared to gaze further into your eyes.

"How did you find out about me?" you inquired, looking around to see if anyone else was nearby.

"I came to get you back again," she said confidently. "Y/n, I want you back. I'd like to get you back again."

You crossed your arms at her and asked, "Look me in the eyes and say it."

That she did. Natasha smiled as she took your hand in hers and brought it close to her lips. She stroked your skin gently, moving your hand into her hair. You sighed contentedly, knowing that this was the Natasha you remembered.

"I stopped drinking and left the compound," she admitted. "Right now, I live in an apartment; I sold the house we used to live in because I don't see the point in me staying there. But I saved our photos on my wall, as well as the mugs you gave me every month."

You laughed, recalling the times you used to give her odd mugs.

"And I, uh, brought a ring with me so that I could ask you to marry me."

Your eyes widen as she pulls a black box from her pocket, opening the cover to reveal a little diamond heart in the center of the ring, glittering beyond your vision. You looked up briefly at her, taken in by the situation.

"Natasha, what-"

"Marry me?" She breathes out, her forehead pressed against yours as she inhaled your scent. "Oh, God, marry me Y/n. Make me the happiest woman alive, and I swear I'm changed. I'm ready to be with you again and finish our story. Accept and adore me once more. Because, lovely girl, I can't live without you. I can't live without my girl."

You lifted her chin and smiled, tears on the brim of your eyelids as you closed your lips together. When she eventually kissed you again, you felt her tongue caressing your bottom lip, almost falling to the ground. You drew back, your thumb caressing her cheek, and nodded joyfully.

"Yes, I will marry you, Natasha Romanoff."

You moved back in with Natasha in New York, and lived with her with the happiest decision of your life.

A HAPPY ENDING?! YAAAY

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x yn #natasha romanoff fic #natasha romanoff angst #a's oneshots!

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xoxoavenger · 1 year

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Soulmates

pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

summary: Y/N hasn’t met her soulmate; she knows because she can’t see color. It doesn’t stop her from wondering how Mando is supposed to meet his when he can’t lock eyes with anyone. (aka you can’t see color until you lock eyes with your soulmate)

word count: 2531

warnings: so much fluff except for S2 finale stuff

notes: happy birthday to pedro!! i thought this would be a nice birthday treat :)

masterlist

Y/N wasn't used to the weather on this cold planet. She wanted to go back to Tatooine, no matter how dry it was. She would deal with the peeling skin if it meant her back would stop aching from shaking in the cold. Her teeth chattered against each other, and she cursed Din for not having a central heating system.

Not that it would help with the massive hole in the wall that wasn't being covered very well by the tarp Din had thrown up quickly.

"We're not getting out of here tonight." Din said, watching Y/N hug her legs to her body tightly. Her head was buried in her thighs, and he could tell she was shaking. It was quiet in the hull, save the kid making funny sounds and banging his hands on things as he crawled around. She tried to keep the jealous thoughts out of her mind when she heard the frog-lady clasp her eggs close. She had been far more fortunate than most of the galaxy, traveling far and wide and meeting thousands of people - but never her soulmate. "Okay," Y/N whispered, teeth gritted so that the Mandalorian couldn't hear her chattering.

It didn't work very well.

"Go lay on the cot." Din nodded his head toward the small closet like resting area, even though Y/N wasn't looking. If she was honest with herself, she knew part of her just couldn't deal with the bleak grays that painted her vision right now. It would only make her feel self conscious for thinking about the fact that Din had never met his soulmate, and he probably never would with his Creed. She wasn't sure how it worked out for him, if he had to guess or if he thought he was just destined to be alone.

The thought made her heart break. Their unspoken connection, the fact that they shared the bed now instead of the off and on switch they did when Mando first took Y/N on the crew. She had never seen him take his helmet off, but she'd seen him in just his pants when that quarry had gone crazy with the blaster, catching him a couple times. She'd had to use the cauterizer to patch him up on his back, pretending not to notice the shudders of Din's shoulders when her hand brushed against his muscular back for a better angle.

"What?" She looked up, one of the blankets slipping down slightly at the movement. She had been so lost in thought she forgot what Din had said in the first place. Her lower back was aching from the shaking, but she couldn't stop herself.

"I'll go start fixing up the ship." He grunted as he pushed himself up.

"I thought you said-" She started, but Din cut her off.

"I can tell you're in pain." He said, watching her lips part and show off the shaking. "Get in the bed." He helped her up and guided her over to the closet-room, helping put the mountain of blankets on her. While she moved around to get comfortable, Din grabbed the Child to put in him in the hammock. His eyes caught on her still shaking form, and before he realized what he was doing he was taking off the beskar on his wrists and unwrapping the cape from his neck. He pulled back the blankets laying on Y/N's shivering form and put the cloak underneath all the blankets, knowing it was the warmest layer. He then closed the small door and walked back out into the cold.

She tried to force herself to sleep, hoping that she would somehow work up a sweat while being asleep and wake up warmer. She was lost in her thoughts as the door slid open, causing her to jump and pull the blankets close as she sat up to see the Mandalorian staring at her from the main hull of the Crest.

"You're l-letting the h-heat out!" She chattered, trying to keep the fact that she was shaking away from Din.

"I could hear you shaking from the cockpit." He told her, and maybe if it wasn't so knifing cold, her cheeks would heat up.

"You're l-lying." She accused, eyes widening as he put an unarmored knee onto the bed, leaning more into the small room.

"I don't lie." He told her, putting a warm hand on the exposed part of her shoulder. She jumped and turned to see Din free of all his armor except his helmet. "I'm going to need to be close to you so we can share body heat."

"Your helmet is literally freezing." Was the only thing she could say, heart racing at the thought of actually cuddling with Din. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about the ice that was beginning to fuse to his helmet, however, and she knew that neither of them would be warm if he didn't take it off.

"I'm going to bend the rules." He muttered, switching off the light and drenching them into darkness. She couldn't see anything, but after a moment she heard the hiss of his helmet and then the clink of it being set down.

It seemed like the unspoken thing was multiplied by ten in the dark room.

"What are you doing?" She whispered, squeezing her eyes closed and keeping her head turned away from him. He slid into the bed behind her, grabbing the blankets and pulling her close.

"Keeping you warm." He said, and she felt hot at the sound of his unmodulated voice.

"I thought you couldn't take your helmet off." She said, because she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You're not shivering anymore." Din changed the subject, wrapping his arms loosely around her. She grabbed them, pulling him close to let him know that she was okay with this.

"Looks like your methods work." She whispered, letting him entwine his fingers with hers. Everything about this situation felt immensely intimate, had her heart racing with adrenaline.

"They usually do." He muttered softly, pulling her as close as he could, so close she could feel his breath against her neck. When they had slept in the same bed in the past, he always had his helmet on. The only time he didn't was when he ate, locking himself in the cockpit. This was new, and she still wasn't sure if this was against the rules.

She closed her eyes, finally warm enough to sleep, and tried not to think about it.

"I'll go with Mayfield." Y/N said, pausing the argument for a moment. Everyone looked at her, and for the first time she was glad she couldn't see Mando's expression; she was sure he was looking at her as if she was crazy.

"No, you will not." Din said, and Y/N raised her eyebrows.

"I'm not on any lists or whatever. I'm the only one here who won't set off any alarms." She told him.

"Not the only one." Mando told her, but she just looked at him incredulously.

"Oh, because they won't notice a Mandalorian coming onto their base." She turned, looking at the Empire vehicles slowly trucking along.

"You're not going without me." He told her, causing her to role her eyes at his over-protectiveness. She knew it was because he was hard on himself for leaving Grogu - he felt like he should have never left him alone, that it was his fault that Grogu was taken.

"They're never going to let the Mandalorian in." Y/N says annoyed.

"I'm not going as a Mandalorian." He said, watching everyone else looking at him confused.

"Unless your Creed has changed recently, you're not getting in with that helmet." Mayfield told Din, who just shrugged

"I'm going in," He said. "But I'm not showing my face." Y/N just frowned as she was confused.

"Then Y/N can't go. There's only two guards in each vehicle." Fennec said, but Y/N smirked.

"I have an idea," She said as her eyes widened. She turned toward Mando. "But you're not going to like it."

"You were right." Din said as he helped her out of the huge truck. He had taken down all the enemies without his weapons or armor, which was impressive.

"About?" She asked as she smiled up at him. She was trying to act like she wasn't looking for his eyes, the same way she always did. Except now, she was worried the dark panels weren't dark enough to block out his face.

"I hate this plan." He said, a hand on her lower back as he lead her through the Imperial base, nodding at the Troopers who were thanking him and Mayfield.

"Why do you think I didn't tell you until after we were on our way?" Y/N was wearing a borrowed dress from someone in the village, playing the part of a 'pleasure girl' - it was obvious why Din was pissed that she had come up with a plan of making herself a prostitute.

"We're almost done anyway." Y/N told him, feeling his hand curl around her waist and hold on tight when a couple of helmets didn't turn away quickly enough for his liking.

"It's right there. I'll be in and out." Mayfield said, walking into the small break area but walking right back out.

"What do you think you're doing?" Y/N asked, eyes wide as she realized Mayfield wasn't going to get the data for them. She needed to find Grogu, if not for herself, then for Din.

"I can't go in there. My commanding officer is in there." He explained, causing Y/N to be even more confused.

"So?" Din asked, sounding as annoyed as Y/N did.

"If he recognizes me, we're never getting out of here anyway. It's over, we're done." Mayfield said, but Y/N shook her head.

"Give it to me." She held out her hand, but Mando shook his head.

"If you go in there looking like that, it'll be even more suspicious. I'll do it." He turned to Mayfield, who was looking at him in shock.

"You have to show your face, Mando. To make sure you're not a droid." Mayfield informed them, but Din just held his hand out.

"Give me the stick." Y/N's heart raced as Din grabbed the stick from Mayfield, marching into the room and going straight to the machine in the corner.

"He's gonna cause a scene." Mayfield said, knowing an alarm would go off when the machine scanned a helmet and not a real face.

"He'll do something." Y/N told Mayfield, knowing that he was right. They watched as Din eventually did set off an alarm, and Y/N's heart raced. "Come on," She whispered, knowing that one move from Din and she would help him take out everyone in the room.

But then Din was taking off his helmet.

Y/N saw dark hair before she turned, seeing Mayfield lean around her to look at Din. Y/N slapped him, watching him look annoyed as he cradled his cheek.

"What are you thinking?" She whisper-screamed, annoyed that Din was in there breaking his Creed for Grogu when Mayfield couldn't even handle going in there himself.

"Come on," Mayfield grabbed her as they walked into the room.

"What are you doing?" She asked, eyes widening when she realized that Mayfield was dragging her into the the room.

"Just follow my lead." He whispered, Din pointedly not looking at Y/N as Mayfield spoke to the officer.

The whole time Din's helmet was off, Y/N made sure she wasn't looking at him. She was silent as she leaned against him - playing her role as a whore - as Mayfield talked about his brown eyes - so now she knew his eyes were brown, and that Mayfield had seen his soulmate. She still didn't look at his face, into his eyes, keeping her head down.

Y/N only made sure to pay attention to the signal to shoot, and in no time they took out everyone in room.

"You did what you had to do. I never saw your face." Mayfield said as he handed Din his helmet, eyes cast down.

"I actually never saw it." Y/N chuckled awkwardly, still not looking as Din slipped the helmet on and they began fighting more.

When they got back to Boba Fett's ship - sans Mayfield - Y/N couldn't look at Mando, even though he had his armor back on. She knew he wasn't looking at her either, but as soon as Fennec and Cara walked out of earshot he was speaking.

"You don't have to be here anymore." He said, his voice straight forward and even-toned. "The ship is gone, so your job is done." Y/N had forgotten that Mando had hired her as a mechanic, since the recent problems with the Razor Crest were problems she couldn't fix on her own with the few tools she had.

"I'm not leaving until we get the kid back." She said, head snapping up to be surprised that his helmet was pointed toward her. He was silent for a moment until he finally sighed.

"I know he meant a lot to you." He said, and Y/N nodded.

"He meant more to you. You meant a lot to him." She smiled comfortingly as she said it, but it was clear Din was having a moment.

"You didn't look at my face?" He asked after a while more of silence, and Y/N answered immediately.

"No. I saw your hair when you took off the helmet, but I turned before I could see anything else. And when I went in there, I made sure not to." She smiled, hoping this was making Mando feel better. "I only know your eyes are brown because Mayfield made that joke." She scoffed with a tight smile.

Mando didn't respond, and it was a strained ride back.

"He doesn't want to go." Din said, not wanting to let Grogu go. He'd had to say goodbye before when he thought the kid was going to go with Ahsoka, and he'd just saved the kid. He didn't want to give up Grogu.

"He wants permission." The Jedi said and Y/N felt tears well up in her eyes. She also didn't want to lose Grogu. She could barely hear what the Jedi was saying before she watched Din take off his helmet.

Y/N was staring at Din's hair once more, watching him say goodbye to Grogu. They all watched as the Jedi took Grogu with him, but Y/N's eyes ventured back to Din's helmetless head. She didn't have the chance to look away when he turned toward her, their eyes locking.

For a moment, nothing happened. Y/N's heart had just begun to sink when color erupted from Din's eyes and began spreading to everything, making her lightheaded. Everything was bright, and she didn't hesitate to run into Din's arms.

"It's okay." She whispered, hands running through his hair. He squeezed her tightly, his armor bruising her. She didn't care, however. She had her love in her arms.

Din was crying into her shoulder, not caring about the people around her who were watching.

"You're okay, Din." She told him, kissing his cheek and tasting the salt of his tears. "We'll be okay."

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @roxaya

#din x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #star wars

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lakesbian · 6 months

Text

was doing a bit of Thinkin about bakuda due to my worm reread liveblog. she is very much a stereotypical fiery asian woman with blue eyes--shitty mundanely racist caricature alongside savage-yet-honorable lung--but it feels like there's just enough meat there that it's easy to imagine what bakuda could be if worm was really really good instead of just really good. which is why i was sitting in the shower for 10 minutes rotating her in my mind.

this little background detail:

Armsmaster nodded, “Not surprising. She’s new. What we know about her is limited. She made her first appearance and demonstration of her powers by way of a drawn out terrorism campaign against Cornell University. Lung apparently recruited her and brought her to Brockton Bay after her plans were foiled by the New York Protectorate. This is… something of a concern.”

combined with what her powers imply about her could have some genuinely interesting implications. i'm getting into "imagine if this part of worm was better" mode here & not "analyzing what's actually explicitly in the text" mode because what's in the text is very shallow but you can dig something out of that.

she has a tinker power, and tinker powers are powers that result from traumatic rock-bottom events the person with the power saw coming from a mile away--the type of thing you desperately try to build yourself an out for, but find yourself inevitably, horrendously railroaded into anyway, to the point where it would take a miracle to escape from. and that's what the resultant power is--the type of miracle you were hoping for, coming far too late to solve your problem, and fantastically extreme in its ability to solve the sort of problem you were dealing with without actually solving any of your underlying behaviors which led you to that problem in the first place.

and what, precisely, is her tinker power? Exploding Shit Real Good. she very much comes off as the literal version of finding yourself in the midst of a shitty institution, one stacked against you, one expecting you to break yourself to succeed in it, and thinking "damn i kinda wish this entire building would explode rn." it's very easy to imagine her being the type of person some would call passionate and some would say needs to calm the fuck down, very intelligent but swamped by university's increasingly difficult barriers to success and fiscal safety, perhaps expected by society as a whole to serve as the model asian woman in a deeply racist environment--smart, hardworking, successful, and still subservient. you know, all the type of shit that would have someone going Damn I Wish This Building Would Explode And We All Die in their head every time they attend college. i've seen it put forward before that she triggered after just. abruptly failing/being locked out of something academic despite all her effort, and that's what i can envision for her: struggling to keep her head above water, knowing that she's failing to meet expectations, knowing that she's eventually not going to be able to scrape by, socially or academically. her head goes under, so to speak, everything she's been working towards is fucked despite all the effort she put in, and--having always been the type of person to explode when something that unfair or awful feeling happens--she triggers, and literally explodes. proving to the university that she's talented, she's good at something, she's got something to be proud about no matter what anyone says--and if the system won't let her have anything after all the time she spent breaking herself to fit into it, then fuck the system, she hopes it explodes.

so. thats my 2 cents on bakuda but if she was more interesting. hopefully that makes sense 👍

#parahumans #worm #wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 1 #bakuda #i think she deserves to be allowed to be nomral person amounts of angry for understandable reasons #instead of just like. fiery asian girl trope #also can she have brown eyes. please #im not saying please im not asking. brown eyes

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pupyuj · 4 months

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Can't get vampire gaeul out of my mind;;;

Also, can I be ⭐️anon;;

let's fawking goooo gaeul ask 😈 and welcome ⭐️ anon!! so sorry this is super late, again 😭😭

[cw: vampireeee, blood.]

she would definitely not hide that she's a vamp just because she preys on people's (men's) fantasies about having a vampire lover lmaooo vamp!gaeul would be really scary despite her easy-going nature and unfortunately you had an amazing bullshit detector so the moment you made eye contact with gaeul at a party, you knew she was something else 😰 of course, gaeul doesn't let you out of her sight for one second! sure you'd make a pretty good meal but she also can have you cause a havoc in the party and blow her cover 😵‍💫

her cornering you in a bathroom,, luckily for her you were a bit buzzed so it didn't take long until she had you melting,, her making you face the mirror and coming up behind you, getting her so excited to taste you because you just so happened to wear an off-shoulder blouse and she was so close to you she could practically smell how sweet you were.. "i can definitely see why you attract such a crowd, (y/n)-ssi..." while she's brushing your hair aside, leaving the softest trail of kisses on your shoulders all the way up to your neck and only stopping behind your ear.. "you're not scared of me... why is that? you know what i am." her pressing herself up against you, chilling red eyes piercing through yours as you stared at each other in the mirror..

"i don't know..." bcs your head was clouded with the booze in your system and the sheer intimidation you felt being around gaeul's presence :(( you were completely helpless—just how she likes it 🫠🫠 the initial plan was to suck you dry in that bathroom, but the moment you pressed your ass against her groin, gaeul lost her composure and allowed her desire take over her hunger 🫠 her turning you around and immediately crashing her lips into yours,, letting you feel her sharp fangs for yourself when she lets your tongue inside her mouth 😩 you reeked of both booze and other people's scents.. two of which gaeul absolutely loathed,, it only made her want to ruin you more 😵‍💫

her lifting you up and putting you on top of the counter beside the sink with ease,, she was delighted that you wore an off-shoulder top! it made it easier for her to just slowly graze her teeth on your skin, relishing in the way you shivered in fear but looked at her with desire,, "i work better when i'm fed." and before you knew it, she had sunk her fangs down your collarbone only slightly, but it hurt like a bitch 🫠🫠 tasting your blood for the first time was nothing short of euphoric and fuck gaeul should really just suck you dry right there but that wouldn't feel right.. she has to have you screaming her name first 😌

she would only feel a deeper kind of hunger for you when she feels how your cunt clenches around her fingers,, gaeul usually doesn't like to waste time but watching your expression as she slowly fucked you was worth it 🤭 gaeul would really just stare at you, relishing the way your moans sounded in her ears... she'd use her entire fingers' length and watch you squirm and reach for her, grabbing onto her shirt and pleading pathetically 😵‍💫 "please, let me cum..." you'd say it right up against her bcs you don't want anyone to hear and you know what? it would give gaeul chills! (which was weird considering her skin's already ice cold but yk—)

and since you asked nicely ofc gaeul would oblige for once and give you what you want! pulling her fingers out of your cunt only to replace them with her tongue 🤤🤤 her sharp nails having your thighs in a death grip while you pushed her head further against your pussy :(( throwing your head back and filling the air with your moans as well as gaeul’s name… nearly losing yourself when she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks harshly, making you grip and pull on her hair… god, her mouth was too good 😵‍💫💔 glowing red eyes piercing into yours, a smirk making its way to gaeul’s pretty face as tears well up in your eyes bcs of the pleasure 🥺

now see this—you’re cumming after her mouth has done its work, and ofc your head was clouded so gaeul takes this opportunity to sink her teeth down your thigh 😵‍💫 it hurt a lot but the sight was kinda hot so you don’t complain 🤭

omg getting disheartened when gaeul exits the bathroom without a word but you don’t hear her warning everybody outside to not enter the room… then she comes back with a tall glass of juice a few moments later and bandages to cover up the bite on your thigh 🫣🫣 she’d even help you wrap it around your thigh! “here’s a deal: you don’t tell anyone i’m a vamp and i keep it a secret you like getting fucked in bathrooms by strangers.” she’d say, as if you’d even dare to tell anyone! she’d probably hear it from a mile away and snap your neck before you even realize 😭

in conclusion, vampire!gaeul wouldn’t be all bad.. especially if a pretty thing like you would keep her company from time to time 👀 whether or not you were her blood bag or sweet little fuckdoll 🤤

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writersblockedx · 1 year

Text

Loose Ends: Chapter One

Chapter One: Insects

Based off - Episode One Pairing - Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Warnings - General violence, language, a good bit of angst Words - 6.3k

A/n - Hello! Welcome to my the last of us rewrite! I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going to write this as I’ve never tried to start a rewrite without having watched the full series first. I’m hopping everything I’ve planned for the reader’s character works out and I hope you enjoy it!

⇨ Next Chapter Read on: AO3 Wattpad

Masterlist

There was a hasher side to having the job Y/n did. But, the bad things were lucky they didn't weigh out the good. She had a job that not many could replace. At least, not yet. She may not occupy the great muscle that soldiers did but she held knowledge above a college level. Without, any sort of school system left standing, Y/n was a rarity many had fought over. Though, she found herself settled in Boston for the last ten years.

A very long, a very complicated ten years.

She wiped the used needle, putting it back in its box of the remaining free that they had no choice but to keep using over and over. The woman turned, halted by the figure standing in the doorway between the hall and her makeshift office. She shifted and her expression turned sour as a huff fell from her lips, "I thought you were avoiding me."

Joel was leant against the door frame, hands in his pockets ever so lazily. "Apparently Doctor Davis is unavailable." He informed as his gaze guided along her. "And I'm in need of pharmaceutical resources."

She shook her head, "Doctor Davis was demoted because he failed inventory. Lost some painkillers and couldn't explain it. We came to the conclusion a smuggler was behind it." The man tensed. "Whatever it is you want Joel, I'm not helping you."

"What about a check-up?" He pressed.

"You want a check-up?" She gestured to a group behind him, analysing some lab work, yet they lacked the lab coat that hung around Y/n's shoulders. "Get one of the junior doctors to do it for you."

Joel glanced back at them and scoffed, "You mean your little science projects?" He raised a brow which seemed to taunt the woman.

She walked from the middle of the room towards the door. And even with him towering over her, her stern expression didn't dare to break. "I'm not giving you anything, I'm not helping you. So whatever has brought you here after a year, I can't do-"

"It's Tommy." He interjected, his gaze falling down to meet hers. Her lips shut. "Its been three weeks. He hasn't responded."

Y/n thought on it for a moment but the second her eyes met with Joel's, he knew it was a lost cause. "That's got nothing to do with me anymore, just like you don't."

He peered behind him, catching sight of the working group once again. He looked back and leaned in slightly, his words only a hushed whisper, "I know you don't owe me anything, but-"

"You're right." She cut him off like her tongue were a knife. "I don't owe you anything. I'm sure you or Tess will figure something out." It took Y/n a lot, but she looked him in the eye and she swore all she could see was a flicker of a memory she had forced herself to forget. "Now, if you don't mind, I've got somewhere to be."

But Joel nodded and took the rejection in his stride as he turned his back to her and exited the building.

Y/n wasn't lying. She had somewhere to be. Somewhere she needed to be desperately in fact. She left the building with a bag of her usual medical supplies. This was her third time sneaking around in the last week; she was surprised no guards had started to catch on. Then again, as Joel had once put, the white lab coat she wore seemed to open every door and drew any attention away from her.

She took the same route. Though, as organised with Marlene, never the same time. Y/n's lab coat couldn't quite hide her from everything, she still had to be smart. She slipped into the Fireflies building, unnoticed and, seemingly, safely.

There were a few people dotted around, all of them tightly focused on their individual tasks.Y/n didn't have to walk far until coming across Marlene, likely planning within the space of her own head. "Hey," The woman greeted, wandering around the table where maps were laid out. She jolted a little, only settling when her gazed settled on Y/n. "Jesus, what's up with you?"

Marlene huffed as she looked back to the papers scattered beneath her, "Got some new resources coming in before we move." She informed.

"Since when did that put you on edge?" The other girl questioned.

She finally pulled her gaze from her maps, finding her palms settling on her hips. "Since it's a new smuggler whose delivering."

Y/n nodded her head in realisation, "Ah, right." She uttered before her eyes pulled to a door situated across from them. "You spoke to her yet?"

Marlene looked to the door too, "Yeah. Once we get this stuff, we're gone." Y/n met the gaze of her friend and found a glint of regret surged through her pupils. "You can still come if you want."

She flashed an apathetic smile, "You know I can't." As much as she may have wished she could. "I'm the only doctor they've got left in this zone."

"What happened to Davis?"

Y/n could have laughed. In fact, she almost did, "Helping Joel smuggle painkillers." By the expression Marlene wore, she wasn't all that surprised by such. "I'd go with you if I could, but you can get her out of here and you keep her safe better than anyone else ever could."

Marlene shifted in her stance, her expression softening, "You can still come with us. We'll find somewhere with better medical supplies, somewhere that's safe-"

"Marlene," The girl cut in. "Nowhere is 100% safe, I think here is the best place for me." She went on, taking a cautious step forward as her voice lowered, suddenly aware of the ears which could be listening in. "There will be other scientists, other medics, whatever you need will be out there to maybe do something." She assured.

"We'll miss you." She sent a smile which was easily returned.

"I know." Y/n was already walking out the room as she continued, "How long have I got to do vitals?"

"Dealer should be here in five."

Y/n nodded in understanding and fully turned, heading for the room Ellie was still stuck in. As she had been doing for two weeks now, the girl entered the room with her bag of medical supplies and a smile she hoped would comfort the kidnapped girl. Ellie wore the same clothes she came in. Yet, now, she was freed from the chain which once kept her here, along with having her bag returned to her.

At the sound of the door opening, Ellie stood, relaxing only a little when Y/n walked further into the room. "You're still here." She observed with knitted brows as if she hadn't expected it.

Y/n unzipped her bag, pulling out the damaged and remaining supplies she had. "What? You miss me?"

"That lady-" She gestured her head towards the doorway.

"Marlene?" Y/n questioned.

To which, Ellie nodded and continued, "Said I was leaving. I wasn't expecting the FEDRA doctor to come with me."

"I'm not coming with you." She broke to the younger girl.

Something of which seemed to insight panic, "You're not?"

Still, with that comforting smile which wasn't doing a brilliant job, Y/n shook her head. "I can't." She started walking further into the room. "Come on, sit, I still need to check your vitals before you go."

Ellie wasn't certain but she took to the floor as Y/n did. The woman reached for the blood pressure machine and as she always did, she turned to find Ellie had already rolled up her sleeve. "What will you do now then?" Inquired the girl.

Y/n didn't look away as she strapped the machine around her arm, turning it on as it started to squeeze against her skin. "Nothing different." She answered mindlessly.

She waited until the machine relaxed around her arm before continuing, "You know they tell stories about you at military school."

The older woman barely looked up from jotting down the results as she answered, "And do you bother to believe them?"

Ellie shrugged, "Some are a bit far-fetched." She thought aloud with a hum as Y/n reached for a thermometer. And, as had become routine, Ellie looked to the side as Y/n scanned her ear. "Mainly the ones that call you a murderer."

She chuckled, "And what are they becoming in military school I wonder." The thermometer beeped and Y/n pulled it back. Once again, noting down the results. "I wish I could come with you, you know." She admitted.

"Then why don't you?"

Y/n thought on it for a moment. She thought about avoiding the answer all together but that curious glint in Ellie's eyes seemed to insight her. "Because them stories you've heard, they travel further then your little military school."

The younger girl was about to give a reply when the mutterings from outside the door got louder. At first, Y/n wasn't going to pay much attention to them. That was until she caught the words woven between the sudden sharp tones. "This wasn't what we agreed." Yelled Marlene.

A sickening scoff was sounded, "Oh, was it not?" Taunted another voice. Y/n wasn't certain, but she made an assumption it was the new smuggler. Obviously not one to be trusted by the sound of things.

She glanced back to Ellie who was listening just as intently as she were. "Stay here." Y/n instructed.

Ellie watched with wide eyes as the woman slowly crept closer to the doorway, keeping low to the floor as to not give away her location. Well, more importantly, as to not give away Ellie's location. She peered her head around the doorway, lucky to find most backs faced her. The smuggler and his fellow guard dogs were talking to Marlene and a few other loitering fireflies.

"Look, I don't know what your plan is here, but either you're going to get what we actually agreed on or we're gonna have a problem." Said Marlene.

She scanned the various smugglers. Their ripped and ragged clothes. And then the pistols which hung from their belts, accompanied with shivs and other blades. A part of her worried for the woman who was facing the group, but Y/n knew Marlene could handle herself. And while she was certain Ellie could too, she took the decision to protect her.

With a sharp inhale, Y/n delicately pressed the door shut, holding her back against it. She met Ellie who had still yet to move from her spot. "You got a gun in that backpack of yours?" She questioned, quietly, gesturing to the bag which was near the girl.

The girl didn't speak. Instead, she rummaged through the bag and pulled out a very small pocket knife. Not a gun, not a dagger, just a small, blunt pocket knife. Y/n could have sworn they were dead there and then.

"I don't think that's how this is gonna work!" Snapped the male voice, immediately followed by the sound of gunshots.

Y/n stiffed and her gaze jumped to Ellie. She gestured her head for the girl to come next to her. She followed, scurrying across the wooden floor as her back leant aginst the door like Y/n's did. The sounds of bodies getting hit and thrown jumbled with groans of pain. Y/n reached out her palm as Ellie passed the only thing they had to protect themselves. She had no plan on moving from this room. She would wait it out. The only problem which plagued her was if they dared to look in the locked room.

Alas, long moments passed of holding their breath before the gun shots dwindled out. The sound of movement was limited to the sound of body's dropping and suddenly, the only noise from outside their room was the mumbles and groans that Y/n struggled to make out. "Is it over?" Whispered Ellie from her side.

The younger girl was looking up at her for assurance that she was unable to give. So Y/n kept her gaze to the floor as she focused on every sound she could catch. "I don't know yet."

The groaning continued and Y/n thought about escaping the comfort of the room which was keeping them hidden. Then came the footsteps. More than just a pair and that was enough to keep her body and Ellie's behind the door. "Shit," She heard Marlene curse. Another voice replied in a soothing tone which told her the girl was safe.

"It's Marlene." Ellie noted, worry glazing her pupils as the two looked to one another.

"I know." Y/n huffed.

"Well, aren't we going to do something?"

The expression written over the woman's face gave Ellie her answer. She wasn't going to do something. Not yet, anyway. So in an act of desperation, Ellie snatched her pocket knife back and busted the door open.

"Ellie, don't!" Her voice screeched. Y/n scurried to her feet, attempting to grasp the young girl, but she had slipped from her fingers.

Though by the time the words had slipped from her tongue, Ellie had been thrown to the floor again and Y/n found herself faced with the barrel of a gun. A gun that was held by Joel Miller. "Y/n?" Questioned Joel as if he didn't quite believe it.

And, in a similar fashion, she did the same, "Joel?" Their eyes both snapped to the end of the hallway where Marlene was stumbling with a gunshot wound, held in a steady position by Kim.

Then Y/n's eyes jumped to Ellie and her expression simply read: Told you so. Y/n looked passed the gun that was still held at her head, "Ellie? You okay?" She asked, glancing between the weapon and the teenage girl.

She hummed something along the lines of a, "Yeah." before reaching out for the pocket knife, almost bruising her fingers as Joel stepped on it, keeping it from use.

"Ellie." Called Marlene. At first, the girl seemed too captivated with sending a death glare to Joel that she hadn't dared to turn away. "Ellie." Marlene repeated, more stern and forceful than before, prompting her to finally look away.

Her eyes found Marlene's face first, then they jolted to the blood which was drowning her t-shirt. "Oh, shit!"

Marlene hovered a hand in front of her as if silently saying it was okay. "No, it's okay. I'll be alright." She lowered her gun. "You can't be stupid like this."

"Trust me," Y/n spoke up. "I'd tried to stop her." The two were like scolding parents with a disruptive child.

Y/n only caught a glance, but a glance was enough to process the puzzled, tender emotion that was painted over Joel's face. Even if he had yet to move that gun from her. "So this is who Robert screwed us over with?" Came another voice as they rounded the corner: Tess. "The Che Guevara of Boston and the FEDRA medic turned firefly?" She scoffed as if it were laughable. "War must be going pretty shitty for you to buying from scumbags like him."

Y/n found her eyes rolled but her lips stayed tied shut while Marlene replied, "Yeah, it kinda has been. Merch was bad and he didn't take fuck off for an answer." Which would explain the voices her and Ellie had overheard before the gunshot started.

"What about you?" Y/n's gaze jumped between Joel and Tess. "The hell are you doing here?"

Tess snapped back before Joel could, "None of your business."

"Give me my knife." Demanded the voice from below.

The voice of which had been ignored. "What do you need a car battery for?" Joel interrogated.

Ellie moved when she shouldn't have. Maybe the fact she was ignored had prompted her on as she reached for her knife anyway. Thus, leading to the gun once pointed at Y/n to point at her. Marlene and Kim both raised their weapons. And with nothing else, Y/n swiftly pulled the shiv from Joel's belt, swinging it around his throat.

It hovered over his skin just as the gun hovered over Ellie's forehead. "Don't point it at her." She stated in a slow, firm tone which had seemed to send a shiver down Joel's spine.

He didn't dare move. So he gave a harsh whisper in reply, "Then where the fuck am I meant to point it?"

"I don't care." She said. "Just not at her."

So, with that, Joel's hand moved. Rather than point to Marlene or Kim, Y/n felt it prod below her ribs. Sharp and prominent that it made the thought of breathing fearsome. "Why do you need the car battery?" He asked again.

This time, Y/n felt obliged to answer, "For a much better reason than you do." He pushed the gun further into her skin and she tensed.

Luckily, Marlene swept in to continue, "Tommy's just one man." She felt the gun relax slightly at the mention of Joel's brother. "It's our business to know things."

"To know things." The man reiterated. "You're the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me."

"Not the only reason." Y/n mumbled, expecting that to cause Joel to push the gun against her skin again. Alas, it seemed to just keep his lips sewn shut.

Within the silence, Kim brought everyone back to current matters at hand, "That was a lot of gun fire. FEDRA's gonna be on their way." As if they didn't already have enough to deal with.

"I know." Marlene nodded.

Y/n looked over Joel's shoulder, "What do we do now?" It was obvious Marlene was stuck in a thought. A thought of which she didn't seemed to like. "Marlene?"

She sighed but let on such thought, "We were going to move Ellie out of the zone tonight. But we won't make it anywhere like this. Not for a while." She explained. "So now I'm thinking, you're gonna do it."

The shock from both parties encouraged them to pull away as the shiv left Joel's neck and the gun left Y/n's ribs. Spontaneously, together, there came a chorus of negative responses:

"What? Marlene-"

"I'm not going with them!"

"The hell we are."

Glances were shared between the three of them; all of which opposed this very stupid idea. "Who is she?" Tess inquired, considering this deal.

"To you, she's cargo." Suppose that was how they were sure to look at this.

"We don't smuggle people." Said Joel.

Kim looked over at Marlene and offered, "I can do it."

That was instantly shut down by the wounded woman, "Kim you don't have a fucking ear on your fucking head." And that plan went out the window just as quickly as it had come in. "There's a team of fireflies waiting for her at the old State House. We were going with a whole squadron for that very reason. But now I don't have a squadron or a truck. FEDRA's five minutes away. What I do have is you."

Maybe it was practical, but it was still a stupid idea with how delicate they must handle this situation. "Why can't Y/n take me?" Ellie queried.

Tess had scoffed at the idea of that as she stared at the doctor, "Because she's got no idea how to survive without these walls which keep her precious prestige."

She could only reply to Tess with a deadly glare that did nothing. But as she looked back to Joel, she spoke up, "I know what you're both capable off." A glint passed through the man's eyes that she couldn't pinpoint. "For better or for worse."

"What are they capable of?" Came that vulnerable voice from below.

Y/n's gaze flickered to Ellie before back to Joel, "We can give you what you need to find Tommy, not just the battery."

Marlene backed that up, "Just get her to that house safely."

It seemed they were on the brink of a deal when Ellie had to throw in a curve ball. "I'm not going without one of you." She was peering over at Marlene and Y/n, that worry still lingering in her pupils which sparked guilt.

"I'll just slow you down." Marlene pointed out, still having that gushing red pool at the fabric of her shirt.

So then eyes landed to Y/n. The automatic answer of 'I can't' didn't seem to follow. Not when she was facing Ellie's desperation to feel secure with someone she could trust. And it took her a long moment before she sucked it up, "Okay, I'll go with you." She decided.

"Y/n-" Marlene was about to remind her of what she already knew, about what could be awaiting her out there if she wasn't careful.

"It's okay." Y/n assured.

"Well this will be a first." Critiqued Tess. Again, something that had earnt her a glare from Y/n as she was left with nothing else to respond with.

The couple soon met eyes, Joel nodding his head before they trailed over to have a silent conversation. Y/n took that as her chance to move over to Ellie, handing the knife back over to her. "Talk it through but please remember I'm bleeding out over here!" Yelled Marlene.

That seemed enough to draw their ever so important conversation to a close. "Alright, here's the deal." Tess started as she spun on her heels to face the group. "The three of us will get her to your crew at the state house but before we hand her over, they give us everything that we want. If not, we kill her. There and then." As in true Tess fashion.

And, almost too quickly, "Deal." Agreed Marlene.

"Really?" Ellie uttered. "That fast?"

"You are all that matters." Marlene said. "My team will not jeopardise that."

Y/n helped the girl back up to her feet, "Come on, lets get your stuff." She gave one more glance to Joel and Tess before wandering back into the room.

Ellie grabbed her backpack and Y/n stuffed her medical supplies back into her bag. By the time they exited the room, Marlene was by the doorway, offering a pistol to Y/n. "Just in case." She uttered.

She glanced between the weapon and the woman who had grown to become her friend. "Do I get one?" Ellie beamed.

In synch, they both snapped back, "No." Before Y/n took the offer, shoving it in the waistband of her jeans.

"You stay safe out there." Was the last thing Marlene said to her before her and Ellie were trailing behind the smugglers. Joel took one last stare and Y/n overheard Marlene as she practically threatened the man, "Don't fuck this up."

There came no reply from Joel. Instead, he must have nodded his head and continued on with the rest of them. They tread through the pouring rain. Pace in their step as they walked against the curfew. Ellie was smart. Any whiff of a solider and she had her face hidden. Right up until they entered an apartment complex.

Tess led the way, stopping at what Y/n assumed to be their apartment, unlocking it. She slipped in first and held the door open. Ellie wandered in first, her curious eyes translating between this new surrounding. And Y/n followed her. Which was when Tess moved. "Give us a minute." She stepped back through the doorway, and before either of them could realise what was happening, the door was slammed right in their faces.

"What the fuck!" Exclaimed the young girl, while Y/n found it to be expected. Tess had never particularly warmed to her.

Ellie huffed as her back hit the wall. Y/n took further steps into this apartment that wasn't her own, but seemed to have speckles of her memory. Most memories which had Joel attached to them. The blanket they had once shared, the old board games she had been adamant they kept, the books which words were rich, but their pages were lacking in such as they started to tear. As Y/n kept walking, her eyes fell to the paper insect that hung by the window.

The cutout butterfly glistened against the street lights, it's colours reflecting into the room. It was a haunting memory of someone Y/n was still certain came as a comfort to Joel. "Do you trust them?" Ellie questioned, finally moving from the wall she had once been leaning against.

Y/n peered away from the butterfly, "I trust Joel's need to find his brother." Their voices still lingered outside. When the girl looked to Ellie, she was sat in a deadpanned expression, urging for more information. To which, Y/n obliged. "For now, I trust them. I'll let you know if it changes."

Ellie started snooping herself. Though, not for what parts of her might still linger in this room, but for what she could use as leverage. Something better than a blunt pocket knife, she hoped. "How do you know 'em?" She wondered as her fingertips tranced a bookshelf by the window.

"Old friends." Y/n uttered and Ellie hummed in response as if she didn't quite believe her but didn't bother to pester further into the topic.

"Tess!" Yelled Joel's voice from the other side of the wall. Y/n turned, facing the door which was still closed on them. Then she looked to Ellie who was flicking through a music book. "Tess!" He repeated.

Soon after, he entered the room, clearly not in any better of a mood. He threw his bag to the side and headed for the couch without muttering a woad. "So?" Ellie spoke up. "Who's Bill and Frank?"

His eyes widened slightly before meeting Y/n who had seated herself in the armchair by the window. "Didn't I tell you she's good at eavesdropping?" The woman raised a brow.

Ellie continued on: "The radios a smuggling code, right?"

Again, Joel looked to Y/n for an answer. "Or that's she catches on quickly?"

"60s song they don't have anything new, 70s they've got new stuff." She went on, reading from a note tucked into the thick book. Joel stood from the coach. "What's 80s?"

He snatched it from her hold and threw it to the battered coffee table which was somehow still standing. Then he returned back to the coach, getting comfy against the fabric once again. Y/n was just about to turn her head to the window, when Ellie piped up again. "What are you doing?" She was standing over Joel.

"Killing time." He said without taking a peak back at her.

"Well what am I suppose to do?" She snapped.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Ellie spun, facing Y/n who didn't have any excuse for Joel's unwelcoming ways. She took the book back, dragging a chair over to where Y/n was sitting. "Your watch is broken." She pointed out as if Joel were unaware.

That time, his eyes pulled open, meeting Y/n. They both thought the same thing but neither of them made a move to voice it. Ellie huffed harshly as she sat down, "Why were you friends with him again?" She asked.

Y/n stole one more peak at the man who had shut his eyes again, though was still obviously listening, and she chose it best not to answer. Her gaze pulled to the window as she attempted to wash away the thoughts of the day. She wasn't sure yet if she had just made the worse decision she could, but leaving this zone was the biggest risk she could possibly take. Only time would tell if that risk was going to come back to haunt her.

Hours must have passed. The sun set and curfew was soon enforced. Ellie had shut the song book and joined Y/n in staring out the window like it was the most entertaining thing in the world. Somewhere along the lines, Joel stared to stir back awake. Ellie noticed first, "You mumble in your sleep."

Y/n turned her head, confused as she expected Ellie to be talking to her, only to find her eyes centred on Joel. The man pulled himself up and the young girl continued on with her words, "I've never been on the other side of the wall. Look how dark it is. You guys go out there a lot?"

"I guess." Joel answered, still in between the state of dreams and consciousness.

"When was the last time?"

His eyes flickered to Y/n before he said anything, "A year. Maybe." He shook his head, seeping into a different topic, "What's it matter?"

Ellie shrugged, "You know where to go. So were gonna be okay?"

Silence passed and neither of the adults in the room knew how to answer that question. It seemed a matter of false hope or reality. "Yeah," Y/n finally uttered. "We'll be fine." Or so she prayed they would be.

"What's the deal with you anyway?" Queried Joel. "You some kind of bigwigs daughters or something?"

Y/n replied before giving Ellie the chance, "Since when did you ask questions?" She snapped like the words meant something.

Joel shifted at that, standing from the couch in an act of opposition. "Sorry," He spat back. "I won't do it again." Y/n watched as he turned his back to her, wandering over to the kitchen tables. Suddenly, she was wishing she had given the chance for Ellie to speak first, a guiltly feeling burdened her gut that she knew wasn't going away any time soon.

"Oh, the radio came on while you were sleeping." Uttered the younger girl once tension had sizzled slightly.

Joel snapped back around as Y/n scolded her, knowing where this was going, "Ellie-"

But it was no use, "What?" The man rushed. "What was the song?"

"He kept saying like 'wake me up before you go-go'."

Joel looked down, "Shit." He muttered to himself.

And such had ever so easily given him away. A smile tugged at Ellie's lips as she said, "Gotcha." It was with that when Joel finally caught on too. "80s means trouble. Code broken."

"I did warn you." Y/n added.

The man was about to point his finger and scold the girl just like Y/n usually did when the door swung open again. Tess walked in and all three of them stayed silent. "The spot under Lancaster looks good." She informed before pointing to Ellie. "You got a jacket in your pack?" She nodded and then Tess glanced over to Y/n. "What about you, prestige? Got something other than that lab coat?" Her response was a silent one, the answer given to Tess by the expression which was written over her face. "Of course, you haven't."

Joel was already moving as he spoke, "I'll go get you one from the war-"

Some material hit her chest before he could finish. The man stopped, seeing as Tess had thrown her one from her bag anyway. No one dared to say anything. Y/n slipped from her lab coat to Tess' jacket within the matter of a moment before she announced, "Let's go." And with that, the rather dysfunctional group exited the apartment, uncertain as to when they would return.

The streets were littered more than usual. Soldiers lined the roads, their guns aimed and trucks patrolling the area. Each of them stayed clear of the light, weaving and tangling through the bodies which could easily catch sight of any of them. They were lucky to get so far. Though, once they were outside of the wall, loitering on the outskirts, it may as well not have been worth it.

Tess led the way, turning a corner they didn't realise was going screw them over. "What the hell?" They all stopped at the voice they didn't recognise as one of their own. They turned, a soldier starring at each of them, all while his zipper was undone.

"Shit," Y/n mumbled, instinctively nudging closer to Ellie.

The man scurried to make himself some-what presentable before addressing the group. "Hey, hey! Don't move!" He threatened and they are raised their hands at the sight of the rifle he grasped. And then he uncovered the front of his helmet, "You got to be shitting me."

Y/n looked to Joel; of course, she should have known. "Okay let's talk this out-"

"Turn around!" Suppose he wasn't in a talking mood. "Get on your fucking knees!" He demanded when none one of them moved.

"Now, hold on-" Joel tried again.

And again, he failed. "What did I fucking tell you man? Stay the fuck home."

Y/n glancd to the man, "Glad to know you shared that information with the group." She huffed.

"Get on your knees!" He ordered again.

This time, Tess moved. "Just get on your knees." The woman said. And they followed her, dropping to the dirt and mud. "Listen you let us do this run, we'll split the cards with you."

"Oh, will you?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

But Tesss' plan hadn't worked. He laughed and gave her the sarcastic reply of, "I'm so blessed." Which was followed by, "Put your hands on your head. Eyes forward."

"Really man?" Y/n looked across the line to Tess who was being tested.

Shit. Her eyes widened, soon to meet an equally worrisome Ellie. "Yep." Said the soldier. "We're doing this by the book." The machine beeped and Y/n knew her and Joel were all that stood between Ellie's life and the soldier.

"Alright, how about three-quarters?" Tess still nagged.

"Joel?" Y/n leaned over, her voice low in hopes to not gain the soldier's attention.

He looked between her and Tess a few times before finally listening, "What?"

"Unauthorised exit." Continued the guard.

"I didn't tell you everything." Y/n spoke up to Joel, lucky the guard was too focused on the beeping machine in front of him.

Joel's brows became knitted, struggling to follow her words in such dire situation. "They'll hang you for that." Informed the soldier as he moved behind the man.

"Fine!" Said Joel, bypassing Y/n's words for a moment. "Everything from this run and half off on the pills."

The machine beeped, followed by a scoff from the soldier. "Half of?" He reiterated like it was pitiful. He moved to behind Y/n as he responded, "All off!"

Y/n slowly brought her eyes to meet the man next to her. Her pupils empty as she knew what awaited them. And in that moment of complete uncertainty, she could only say one thing. "Joel." Her words were drowning in the type of fear he had only ever heard her say once before. And that's when he realised something was truly wrong.

The machine beeped behind her head before the soldier moved on to Ellie. Y/n couldn't take another breath. Not until she heard the soldier groan and stumble. The four stood to their feet, watching as the blunt pocket knife was soon shoved into the man's thigh. "Ellie!" Y/n snapped.

And while the girl had lept for Ellie, Joel lept for the guard. The rifle was soon pointed right at him. "Woah woah, we can fix this." Said Joel in the calmest tone he could muster in that moment.

The soldier gave one order: "Move."

And Joel didn't listen to it. He jumped forward, tackling him to the ground. The rifle was thrown to one side. Once given the upper hand, Joel started punching. And punching. He didn't stop until the breath from the guard's mouth did.

He slowed. He realised. And then he rose, turning to face what was left. Y/n was holding Ellie who seemed curious at the violence which had occurred. Not scared, just curious. He looked up and down between that sight and his bloody hand. There were thoughts plaguing his mind. Enough that it had pulled Y/n forward, as softly, she called, "Joel?"

It was more of a question, a prompt for assurance which wasn't given in return. She stepped closer to him until he was only looking at her. "Are you okay?"

He never got the chance to answer. "Joel! Joel!" Screamed a panicked voice from behind them.

Tess was showing the machine, the blinking red machine which meant infected. "I'm not sick!" Ellie claimed.

"Tess, you don't get it." Y/n went on as she jumped to protect Ellie once again.

"Look!" The younger girl yelled, rolling up her sleeve and the wound which painted her forearm. "This is three weeks old!" Tess inspected it herself. "Nobody lasts more than a day. This look a day old to you?"

Y/n went on to add, "You have to trust us Tess. Why else would the fireflies and a doctor be working together?" Tess seemed to be coming around to the idea. "Why are we all trying so hard to keep her fucking safe? Huh? We need to go, alright?"

The sirens made clear of that plan of action. Y/n took a hold of Ellie and Tess started to lead the way once again. "Joel!" Y/n yelled and the man glanced at her. "Come on, we gotta go!"

It took him a moment. He stared between the body and the girls which were already leaving before he started walking, grabbing the rifle as he did so. He joined the side of the woman he once loved as they followed the one he did love and the dead girl walking.

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banananutsmuthie · 1 year

Text

Please Do Not Touch

Idol(s): Gaeul [IVE]

Word Count: 4.3k+ words

Content Advisory: Mommy kink, Femdom, Degradation, C-Ring Use

A/N: Add BNS to the list of writers who have returned in the first week of 2023 😀

“Say it. Say my name.”

She’s got you by the balls. That’s her other hand on your throat, constricting. She’s a killer, that one, standing on a step stool to meet your line of sight just so she can enjoy you begging for it. It’s almost hard to take that naked little thing seriously. Oh, but you’ll take her seriously, alright, especially when she’s clamping down just a little tighter with both hands.

She’s got this look in her eyes, fresh, uninitiated, like she’s about to taste blood for the first time. It’s scary how much excitement is in those eyes. There’s a fire burning down that house. Little machinations running rampant like those little piece-of-shit children she swore she’d let you seed her with when she finally walks away from the idol life. Her body will still be nice and tight then is the only thought running through your mind. You’ll blame the oxygen deprivation for such lewd thoughts, but her pert petite breasts pressing against your bare chest surely doesn’t help.

It’s not that hard, really. She only wants one thing, only wants to hear her name. You can give her that much, at the very least. Of course, it’s not what she really wants, but you’ll amuse her just to see how far she’ll go.

“Gaeul.”

That hand she’s got on your balls doesn’t let up. She twists, and you swear if she goes any further, you won’t be able to breed her properly later. But it’s oddly satisfying. The kind of satisfying that’s making your cock just a little harder. It’s all part of the experience, but you didn’t expect it to get this far.

“No. You know my name. Do it right this time, little bitch.”

You’ve created a monster. This isn’t Gaeul. Not anymore. Not while she has you wrapped between her fingers. This isn’t a role she thought she’d play, but she puts in the effort because she’ll do anything to please her man.

She’s got that hand on your throat tightening just ever so slightly again. “Say my name.”

Pride will be the death of you if Gaeul doesn’t kill you first. That’s fine. She’s got you right where she wants. You’ll hold out a little longer because she loves it—the chase, the capture, the kill, everything. And then right as the room turns white, just before you meet your maker, you let her have it.

“Mommy.”

Gaeul finally lets go. She’s stepping down from her stool, she’s getting back on the bed, and she’s watching you, stiff against the wall she had you pinned against. Gaeul’s got her legs crossed, hiding that view that’s already dripping in pleasure. One hand props her upright against the bed while the other flips through her frazzled hair.

“Now was that so hard?” It’s a game to Gaeul. She’s a neophyte but acts like she’s been there countless times before. Knows the rules, knows the limits of your body. It’s as easy as learning choreography for her. “Do you think my naughty boy deserves mommy’s wet pussy?”

Whether or not you deserve it isn’t the question—mommy’s going to get whatever she wants. She’ll get that pussy filled like a jelly donut oozing its contents all over the floor sooner or later. It’s rather a question of how long she’ll drag this out. You’ll play that game, sure, but damn, does she look fine in her birthday suit.

“I said, ‘Do you think my naughty boy deserves mommy’s wet pussy?’”

Gaeul has to repeat herself because you’re too busy breathing her in, letting the oxygen she deprived you of back into your system. This time, she’s slapping that slit, flecks of her fluid visibly jumping onto her thighs. Gaeul knows how much you love it when she makes a show of how wet she is.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” you answer. That’s the hormones finally kicking in. You make a move toward the bed, but she’s got this look again. It’s that I-didn’t-tell-you-to-fucking-move look. It’s that you’re-gonna-have-to work-for-it look. You retreat back to the wall, and she’s expecting you to explain yourself. “Sorry. Yes, mommy.”

Gaeul owns you. She’s got you trained, domesticated, ruled. You’re nothing but a pet to her, a meatbag she uses for sex and nothing else. If not for your cock making her pussy feel things, you’d be out naked in the cold with a sign that reads, “Will fuck for food”. Even then, you wouldn’t put that past Gaeul: she’d do that anyway just because she could.

“Now listen,” Gaeul says. She’s getting off the bed, she’s making her way back toward you, and now she’s tugging at your cock. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Gaeul’s laughing. Without restraint. Without pretense. God, does she know how to make it hurt. You’re in this semi-solid state, good enough to get sucked, but definitely not hard enough to ram Gaeul’s pussy into some higher state of being. So of course mommy Gaeul is laughing: you’re useless to her right now. There’s no way she’s giving you a blowjob. No, that’d be too easy. Besides, Gaeul doesn’t give out mouthfucks, thinks she’s above getting down on her knees and choking on some cock. She’ll give you some lame excuse, like I can’t stand the taste, or you know it messes with my throat and I have to sound good tomorrow. So now she’s leaving you wondering just how much more embarrassment she’ll put you through before she even lets you touch her.

“You think I need a little cock like yours to get off? I’m gonna need more than that.” She lets go and returns back to bed, legs spread, one foot on the mattress and the other dangling over the edge. “You’re gonna stand there and watch me finger myself until you get your cock hard for me. And if I even see you touching yourself, no sex for you tonight. Nod if you understand.”

“But how—”

“Nod if you understand.” It’s only natural to nod. Whatever it takes to slip between Gaeul’s legs later.

It starts with Gaeul licking her petite fingers, the ones she’s decided are going inside her. She doesn’t need to make a show out of it, but she does it anyway for you. Could be because she’s a benevolent mommy or because she loves watching you squirm. Either way, you’re not turning down the free show.

Gaeul’s a pro by now, of course. Been pleasuring herself well before that dick of yours even came into the picture. Like riding a bike for her. She’s got her left hand spreading those lips. There’s that juicy pink inside, rare, already as wet as the Amazon. Had a big heaping helping of her dildo earlier but it’s clear by the way her body shivers at her own touch that she’s definitely up for seconds. She’s got that thumb pressing gently against her clit, rubbing herself in a rhythmic circular motion. She could easily get off with just the clitoral stimulation alone, but she’s got other plans.

Gaeul’s still got those fingers, wet, ready to penetrate. She tickles the exposed pink flesh with the pads of her fingertips, running from the bottom of her slit and working their way up. She’s exploring herself, testing her arousal, waiting for that perfect moment to strike. Not yet. She traces her slit again, down and back up. And again. Keeps repeating it like she’s a maestro orchestrating her fingers in an endless da capo al fine on her pussy, until that tiny hole you’re well-acquainted with finally puckers.

There it is.

You’re watching Gaeul sink her middle finger into her pussy. Then the ring finger disappears as well. She lets out a faint moan, lets herself sink into the bed while she’s fucking herself and lets you enjoy the one-woman performance.

For a second, she pulls her fingers out and brings it to her mouth for a taste, letting it marinate before pulling them out with a gentle pop. “Mmmm,” she moans. It’s no KFC but she swears it’s finger-fucking good. Gaeul drags her fingers down her neck, through her breasts, down her abs, until she finds her way back into her pussy, leaving a trail of saliva behind. She starts pumping again.

Gaeul’s got this nice in and out motion going now, wet squelches with every penetration that’s displacing the fluids dripping out of that well-pleasured pussy. Her chest heaves with every breath she sucks in through gritted teeth.

“This could be you, y’know, fucking mommy’s pussy. But you’re too big of a bitch to even get hard for mommy.”

She’s absolutely going to town on herself now. Gaeul shuts her eyes. She has her back arched, hips swaying to and fro like she’s riding a mechanical bull, those tiny mounds on her chest swaying along with each thrust of her pelvis that she’s throwing into the air.

“Holy shit, you feel so fucking good in me,” she cries out. “Fuck, this body is yours, only yours! Such a good fuck! You fuck me like none of the naughty boys ever could!”

It really is a cruel joke, the way she’s playing with you, teasing you. There’s Gaeul’s naked body in front of you, bucking the same way she does when you’re normally owning that pussy. She knows just how badly you wanna penetrate her, and here she is toying with you, acting like she’s actually getting fucked. You look down and see your cock throbbing just a little harder. It’s still not enough. You just need that little motivation to get rock hard for Gaeul, so you try to grab your cock to stroke along with her while she’s preoccupied with her own pleasure.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” she says with more venom than a king cobra.

It’s eerie the instinct and awareness Gaeul has even with her eyes closed. You’d push further to see if you could get away with it, but she’s already said no to sex this entire week and there’s no way you wanna test her. She can replace you, have another you delivered to her doorstep faster than you can get a finger on your cock right now. Of course she can, she’s an idol. You’re just another guy with a cock that her pussy likes, coming to the immutable conclusion that you need that pussy more than she needs your cock. It’s frustrating. You let out a sigh and ball your hands into tightly clenched fists trying to endure the rush of hormones being wasted on just watching her.

“You want this body? Beg for it,” Gaeul says.

“Please, mommy.”

“What do you want? Use your words, baby boy.” Gaeul slows down, opens her eyes and sees how much harder you are. She’s intrigued, as is evident from that smirk on her face, the way she won’t stop staring at your cock while she’s rubbing herself.

“I wanna fuck you so bad, wanna dump a huge hot load of my cum into your needy little pussy. Please mommy, let me fuck you.”

Gaeul stops pleasuring herself. Here she comes again. You’re not really sure what she’ll do this time, whether she’ll drag you to the bed and let you fuck her mindlessly or kick you out of her room without getting what you came for. She hides her cards behind that Mona Lisa smile so well. Gaeul presses her body against yours. She doesn’t use the stool this time, so she’s looking up at you, her wetness pressing against your thigh, dripping.

“So, my baby boy wants to fuck mommy, is that what you want?” Your hands reach around Gaeul’s waist, hoping to grab those bouncy ass cheeks. It’s automatic for you. You can’t get enough of the way her cheeks sound when you slap them, the way she moans, the way her cheeks jiggle in your grasp before settling in your cradling palms.

She catches you, slaps your hands away before you even have a chance to make contact.

“Uh-uh,” she teases, “no touching. Good boys respect women: no touching unless I give you permission. If you can do that, I’ll let you cum in me. Am I clear?”

“Yes, mommy. No touching.”

“Good.” Gaeul smiles with the satisfactory answer. “As a reward, I’ll let you have a taste,” she says, bringing those two fingers she used on herself to your mouth, slowly shoving them between your lips the same way she did between hers. Your needy tongue tickles her digits, licking off your prize for being so obedient until there’s nothing left to savor. It really is finger-fucking good.

Gaeul pulls out her fingers and starts to walk toward the walk-in closet. “Stay right here, mommy’s got a present for you.”

She emerges from the closet after a couple seconds, one hand balled into a fist and the other grasping at a necktie, one of the few garments you keep at her place when you stay the night. She swings it over your neck and starts to tie it.

Over. Around and over again. Through the loop. Tighten. A Full Windsor knot. She’s got that shit memorized and perfected.

“Is this the present?” you ask. She’s got you wondering why she’s dressing you up like a formal chippendale with your own tie. This can’t be the present. She’s kept that hand balled into a fist the entire time, whatever she’s got in there must definitely be the present.

Gaeul ignores your question and gives you a command instead. “Turn around, hands on the wall.”

You obey. Gaeul’s got one hand on your hip, the one that’s clenched into a fist. The other hand is wrapping around, playfully running up your thigh with her fingernails, drawing closer to your cock until she’s got your shaft in the palm of her hand. Slowly, so that you can feel the sensation of Gaeul’s sleight of hand, she wraps a finger around the circumference, one at a time. Every finger that joins adds even more tightness, more pressure around your cock until she has a fist wrapped around your shaft, slowly motioning up and down and jerking you off.

“Fuck, Gaeul. Faster, baby.”

She lets go. “What did you just call me? You know that’s not my name.”

“Sorry. Please jerk me off, mommy.” She continues again, giving in to your request to stroke faster. Her other hand joins in on the action, wrapping around your tip.

“That’s it, baby boy, you’re doing so good. Just look how big you’re getting for mommy. Almost big enough to fuck me.” She strokes faster, and you feel the base of your shaft tighten. You’re throbbing in her hands now. Gaeul, happy with the work she’s done, stops stroking. Even with her hands completely off your cock, you feel yourself throbbing harder than usual, like she’s still squeezing you between her hands. You look down and finally notice the cock ring she managed to slip onto you.

“Do you like the present mommy gave you?”

“Yes, mommy. Please, can I fuck you now?” She’s got you right where she wants you, and you’ve got her on the verge of giving you her body. Before she can answer, she grabs you by the end of the necktie, choking you, dragging you and pushing you onto the bed.

Gaeul’s standing at the base of the mattress, watching, waiting for her time to pounce. She’s a killer, that one, tired of the chase, done with the capture. It’s in her eyes: she’s ready for the kill, and you can barely wait for her to sink that delicious pussy onto your shaft that’s throbbing harder than ever in the cock ring she bought you.

She leans forward, placing her hands on each of your thighs for support, lowering herself until her face is right next to your shaft. She grabs hold, slapping herself in the face with your cock.

“Is this what you want?” Gaeul asks.

“No, mommy,” you tell her firmly. Sure, it’ll be a New Year’s resolution fulfilled if she starts sucking your cock now, but you didn’t come this far just to get a blowjob. You want the whole thing: tits bouncing, thighs jiggling, Gaeul screaming your name as you slide in and out of her pussy. So, no, this is not what you want.

Gaeul smiles. There’s a small wince of disappointment in that smile for not falling for her trap, but she slides up again, dragging her naked body up against your cock before resting her breasts on you. It’s not much, but she pushes her chest together, cradling your cock between her soft mounds and stroking you between her breasts.

“How about a titjob? Is that what my good boy wants?”

You know the game she’s playing. By now, it’s clear she’s toying with you in a game of Deal or No Deal, but you know what’s coming as long as you hold out. Most men crumble this late in the game. Some would’ve even taken the blowjob, but you, you’re banking on the end game, and you can see your cock, wedged between Gaeul’s breasts, hungry for something far greater than a titjob. No deal.

“Please, mommy, let me fuck you.”

She slithers further up your chest, dragging your cock against her tummy as she does so. Keeps going until finally, she has her pussy lips grinding against the underside of your shaft. Oh, she’s wet, alright. You can feel her juicy outer lips, splaying, wrapping around either side of your shaft as she drags up and down on you. You try to thrust upward, hoping to penetrate Gaeul, but she’s one step ahead of you and lifts up just enough to drag this out a little longer.

“Not yet, baby boy.”

Gaeul fiddles with the new shiny toy she bought you, and suddenly, it starts to vibrate. It’s a feeling unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.

This is it. The final stop. She’s got that pussy hovering over you, slowly coming back down. Gaeul doesn’t even ask if this is what you want. She knows.

“Don’t forget, no touching.” It’s the final thing she says before she grabs onto your shaft, aligning it with her entrance and slowly sinking onto you. It’s easy sliding into Gaeul’s primed pussy, the way she feels like she’s perfectly molded for taking your cock. But all of that doesn’t compare to Gaeul when she reaches the bottom and experiences the vibrations of the cock ring on her clit.

“Oh, mommy like!”

It’s a new experience for her. She’s had vibrators, dildos, massagers, all types of sex toys pleasuring her before. You’ve seen her collection. But the moment she bottoms out on your cock and her clit touches that vibrating cock ring, something in her turned on, like she finally knew the answer to the question: “What’s after like?” It isn’t love. It isn’t marriage. It’s getting her brains fucked out.

Her thighs jerk, grasping tightly against your hips, and those eyes, you’ve never seen her roll them back like that before. It’s an instant reaction. Gaeul’s arms crumble and she falls on top of you, almost incapacitated.

“Fuck me, baby,” Gaeul commands.

You sink down just a little into the mattress, just enough to pull out of that heavenly body halfway. You thrust back up, driving further into Gaeul. She lets out a moan, primal, without thought. That vibrator hits her right on her clit and she shakes at the hip, grinding on top of you, feeling those vibrations that’s pleasuring her.

Her lips meet your ear, clinging, nibbling. Gaeul grabs onto you and lets out a soft moan, hot and airy. “That’s it, baby. Fuck me just like that. Oh, God!” Even with her lips right on your ear, it’s hard to hear anything she’s saying over the loud thrusts of your cock crashing into Gaeul’s tight pussy.

“You feel so big in me, baby.”

You can feel that too, can feel yourself throbbing in her with each pump, the pleasure heightened for both of you with her present wrapped around the base of your cock. You didn’t think you’d enjoy it but it’s everything. Gaeul is muttering various swear words into your ear; you’ve never heard her swear this much in your life.

“Holy fuck! So good! Fuck me harder, baby!”

It’s pretty useless without your hands, though. There’s only so much you can thrust into her with just your hips. It feels good now, but you’d enjoy it more if you could grab her and fuck her properly.

At the risk of getting punished, you throw caution to the wind and grab her. One hand wraps around her back, hugging her tight. The other finally gets a handful of Gaeul’s ass, bouncing up and down in your hand with each thrust.

“That’s it baby, fuck!” she moans into your ear. She’s too inebriated with lust to care that you’re touching her, too lost in a stupor to keep up the mommy gimmick. This is Gaeul, raw, untamed, just the way you like her.

She is grabbing tighter onto you, an unspoken sign to fuck her harder. That’s her chest pressing against yours in the fervent fucking, her nipples hardening as the collective sweat bonds you together. You’ve got her in your grasp, and you’re really putting all that force into your thrusts. She is moaning harder than she’s ever had before, her quivering moans growing louder and louder like an oncoming train. Her bandmates will hate her later for the noise, but right now, you don’t care. All you care about is cumming in Gaeul’s needy little pussy.

“Oh my god, oh my god, I’m gonna cum!”

Gaeul tightens around you. You can feel her slick, trickling down your cock, sullying the sheets below. Her nails dig into your shoulders. Her body trembles in your grasp, going stiff through her orgasm until she goes limp on top of you. You tug on her hair to pull her up and check on her, and Gaeul’s eyes are in a daze, her mouth unable to close from the pleasure she just experienced.

“You okay?” you ask.

“Fuck that was so good.” Her eyes open, determined. She’s got that look in her eyes again, embers burning in her loins. She lifts up off your chest, her pussy still clenching around your cock. “Tell me when you’re gonna cum, okay?”

You start it up again. You’ve got your hands on her hips, bouncing her up and down on your cock. Gaeul’s a mess, but she keeps going for you, wanting that cum, giving you the one thing she promised earlier.

“Come on, baby, cum for me. Cum for mommy.”

The amount of sweat on her body is a testament to just how much she’s enjoying herself, tits bouncing, breathing labored. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your cock almost becoming numb to Gaeul’s pussy and the cock ring stimulating your pleasure.

“I’m so fucking close, baby.” Gaeul grabs onto your hands, interlacing her fingers with yours. You can tell she wants this as badly as you do, encouraging you, goading you on. She even grinds on top of you, wiggling that cute little ass on your thighs. There’s that sensation, you can feel it now. “Shit, I’m cumming!”

You thrust upward one last time, attempting to bury yourself into the depths of Gaeul’s folds, but she pulls your hands off her waist and pulls off.

“What the fuck, babe?” you ask in the craziness.

It’s too late now. She’s got your hands pinned to your sides, her petite body on your stomach so that you can’t escape. Gaeul’s shaking her head with the most villainous, evil smile and she’s watching you, defeated, shooting thick spurts of cum everywhere except inside her. When it’s over, you let out one final sigh of relief, rapture, frustration, indignance.

Gaeul is sliding off to the side, falling chest first next to you on the bed. Her back is painted in white that’s oozing off to the sides and the small of her back. It’s not exactly where you want to see it dripping, but it’s still satisfying if not a tiny bit disappointing.

“I told you I’d only let you cum in me if you didn’t touch me. You should’ve listened, babe.” Gaeul’s laughing. Without restraint. Without pretense. But at least it’s over now and she’s no longer so enamored in the roleplay. She collapses back onto the mattress, planting a kiss on your cheek and wrapping her arm over your torso.

She’s got this look in her eyes, dazed, intoxicated, like she just had the best cock of her life. It’s satisfying how much satisfaction is in those eyes. The fire’s been put out in that house. Little machinations finally fulfilled, kissed and tucked into bed. You’re not sure how Gaeul managed to make sex even better, but you’re glad she did.

See, she’s never been a dom before. Absolutely hated the idea. How can you hate something you’ve never tried? It’ll be great, just try it, you’ve told her countless times before. You pleaded and begged until that little piece of ass you call your girlfriend finally said, fuck it, why not. You never thought she’d be such a natural at it.

“So, how was that for you, babe?” you ask Gaeul. Her shoulder is shining in a waxy layer of your lip balm when you kiss her there. She reacts with a little giggle, traces circles with her fingertip on your chest, and lets out a huge sigh of relief.

“That was…” She pauses. The word escapes her. Gaeul’s expression turns quizzical. She’s running through the list of words to perfectly describe the feeling that overtook her. You can see those wheels spinning. Amazing? Fantastic? Mind-blowing? She’ll exhaust her internal thesaurus with how long she’s taking. The wheels keep spinning and spinning, until finally, the lights turn on in that house.

“That was…what?” you ask.

A smile registers on that precious face. She brushes her hair behind one ear and leans in for a kiss, her lips still laced in ecstasy.

“That was…definitely not the last time we’re doing that.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm hoping you'll see more of me in 2023 compared to the second half of 2022!

#kpop smut #ive smut #gaeul smut #male reader #reader insert

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infernalodie · 1 year

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Do you think you could do a Jenna Ortega fic . Either male or female reader and they are like really tall so a lot taller than Jenna because she's like 5ft 1. And it can be about anything.

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 || 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐎𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐚

"𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘭' 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘐'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘨, 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦"

Inspo: 6lack - Pretty Little Fears

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Black!Male!reader

Summary: It’s honorable to put your guard down...

Warnings: Fluff

Words: 1563

Jenna heard you arrive at her apartment before she saw you or received a text from you. But your lumbering feet and quiet mutterings from the thin walls that encased her apartment, she could tell exactly by the smallest of details.

She was seated on the couch when you walked in. Eyes heavy with exhaustion and your work jacket halfway off your body as you walked in the direction of her room. Muttering a quiet greeting as your loud footsteps shook the floor. This was your system every time you came home from a long day at work and knew that in a minute or so, you would come over and lay on the couch and watch youtube with your head resting in her lap. Maybe order some food so the two of you could relax in one another’s embrace.

But as you reentered the room, Jenna quickly noticed you walking in the direction of the kitchen. “What’re you doing?” Jenna inquired, closing her phone and following. Leaning against the island and watching you curiously.

In your work pants that had paint, drywall particles, and little slivers of wood stuck in the fabric. Shirt with a bleach stain along the bottom, you grabbed an apron and slipped it on. “I’m making you food,” you answered softly, tying the garment around your waist and turning halfway to your girlfriend. “You gonna join me?”

Jenna stared up at your hulking figure, practically a spec of dust from your perspective. Unable to help herself from the dirty thoughts that invaded her thoughts with you towering over her. Unintentionally getting her worked up without so much as a touch or word. Your warm eyes and lean figure could simply get her wanting to tie you down and have fun. Your chocolate-toned skin glistens with sweat. Love bites leaving a red-tinged mark on your chest as she slowly worked her way down. And your eyes are swamped with wants and needs. Things that she could only provide. Oh, how much she would love for that right about now-

“Get your head out of the gutter.” Jenna blinked rapidly, shaking her head slightly as she looked up at you in question. You smiled. “We can have sex after supper, sweetheart.” Leaning down, you kissed her flushed cheeks.

She gently pushed you away, trying to hide how red her face was. “I wasn’t thinking about sex,” she defended. Groaning in annoyance when your arms curled around her waist with your figure bent down slightly to press your lips to the crown of her head.

“Sure,” you whispered. “Whatever my girl wants to believe. Not like I saw you looking at my dick for a good 5 seconds-”

“Shut it!” She exclaimed, hand pressing to your lips. Head rolled back to look up at your inverted face. A deep chuckle rumbled from your chest as you kissed the palm of her hand softly. Parting from her small frame and moving throughout the kitchen, gathering all the ingredients you needed for whatever meal you planned on making.

Hoisting herself onto the counter, Jenna watched you work effortlessly. Grabbing a bottle of white wine from one of the cabinets, only raised questions in her mind. But as she saw you cut meat, chop up vegetables, and pour oil into a pan, she allowed you to take full control.

There was a lot that Jenna knew about you. From the days when you two lived in a three-bedroom apartment with one of your buddies, she got to know you inside and out. Of course, at that time, you two weren’t well acquainted before you moved in. But as she saw you come home from work, sitting at the kitchen table with a dimly lit light hanging above with a beer in hand, she took those times to talk to you. Maybe it was just because she wanted to relax your mind from the endless amounts of work you did at whatever construction sight you worked at. But she had always been curious as to who you were as a person.

Yet, here she was, seeing you cook with no help needed and seemed to know way more than she did. Which wasn’t a bad thing, but it irked something deep inside her. An inquiry of what else you had in your skillset that she didn’t know about. You knew how to build things judging by most of the furniture in her apartment being from IKEA–you being her first person to call for help. You could act but never wanted fame and now, you knew how to cook.

“Where did you learn how to do this?” She asked, seeing you place the meat into the pan. A loud sizzling sound throughout the tiny kitchen as you gently shake the pan. Making to get all the oil around the food before grabbing some seasoning and sprinkling it onto the meat.

“Mother taught me,” you said, voice almost barely able to be heard. “She worked out of a restaurant back in New York. Often when I was being a jackass at school, she would have me catch a train and work at the restaurant.” Rubbing your hands down the apron, you turned to the girl, smiling faintly. “Taught me most of what I know now.”

Jenna nodded, unable to take her eyes off how memorizing you were. How you spoke with such passion and how happy you were about something so long ago. It made you who you were today.

“And your dad taught you how to build?” That made you laugh, walking to the fridge. Grabbing a beer from inside and popping the cap off with the lip of the counter.

Taking a sip, you placed it down beside Jenna and gave a thin-lipped smile. “That’s all he ever taught me,” you said, leaning against the counter opposite of her. Using your hands to express yourself, you said, “Asshole taught me how to fix the pipes in our house, build decks, and flip houses.” You sighed, shaking your head. “Fuck, that guy was a dickhead.”

“Where’s he now?” Jenna then inquired, making you sigh, and rub your forehead in thought. Stepping towards the girl, who wrapped you up in her thighs, pulling you closer until you stood flush to the edge of the counter, staring down at the girl in thought.

“Um, I think he’s in Chicago with his sister working with a trucking company or some shit,” you said. “Comes back to New York ever so often to visit mom.”

Placing her hand on your shoulders, she pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Well, good to know I have my own handyman.”

“As long as I get something in return.” A wicked smirk formed on your lips as Jenna slapped your chest with a laugh. And for a moment, the two of you just stared at one another. No words need to be spoken about the love you two held for one another. One small look was enough to give one another butterflies. And Jenna guessed that was how she knew she loved you. How relaxed she felt being under your gaze or touch that had been innocent before the two of you dated.

Finishing up the food, you and Jenna prepared the meal and table. The tiny table near the windows and looking down at the streets of New York. Jenna lit the candle in the center of the table and took a seat.

When the plate was placed in front of her, Jenna raised a brow. Inhaling the scent and allowing a smile to appear on her lips, humming in delight. “What is this?” She asked, looking up when you sat down across from her.

“Braised short ribs,” you replied. “One of the first dishes my mom taught me when she could trust me inside the restaurant on my own.”

A soft laugh fell from your lips, Jenna smiling as the two of you began to eat. Small conversations were had as you talked on and on about your parents. Two people she was sure never existed from the lack of information you’d given her about them. But the sudden change was great to know. She had always wanted to know and understand who the two people responsible for raising the big loving giant you were.

“-And I just stood there staring at this flame with my mom screaming at me to put it out-”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Jenna asked softly.

Now, you could’ve immediately taken her words as something venomous or agitated. But seeing the twinkle in her eyes, told you otherwise. Allowing a smile to appear on your lips as you took a bite of your food. “I don’t know,” you responded. “I want to say something romantic, but I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that I never told any of my girlfriends about my family.

That made Jenna raise a brow with a smile dancing across her face. “And why is that?”

“Because they didn’t have my heart in their hands as you do.” Jenna’s face flushed as you tried to maintain the bashful smile that appeared.

“You said you didn’t want to say anything romantic,” she whined as you leaned over the table and kissed her on the lips.

Parting just a breath away and smiling. “But I love you, Jenna Ortega.”

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega fanfiction #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x black!male!reader #jenna ortega x black!reader #jenna ortega x black male reader #jenna ortega x black reader #jenna ortega fluff #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x male!reader #x black!reader #x black reader #x black!male!reader #x black male reader #x poc reader #poc reader

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feminismisstillahatemovement · 4 months

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If you are not a close follower of American college campus politics, you are likely to be unfamiliar with a woman who has been making headlines for over a month in the US and increasingly around the world. The lady in question, one Claudine Gay, was President of Harvard, one of the most renowned educational institutions in the world, until earlier this week when she resigned over plagiarism allegations.

Why does or should anyone care about this? Well, Gay’s decision to step down is the culmination of long-running efforts to address the cancer at the heart of Western societies: the idea that the way to fix injustices of the past is to commit injustices today.

Following her resignation, Gay’s defenders were quick to emphasise the racial dimension of this story. Ibram X. Kendi, for example, tweeted that “Racist mobs won’t stop until they topple all Black people from positions of power and influence who are not reinforcing the structure of racism”.

And while his claims of this being a racist campaign are absurd, it is true that Gay was not targeted solely for seemingly adopting the personal motto: “I came, I saw, I copied”. She became a focus of major Harvard donor concerns and a media campaign led by Christopher Rufo – a man I would approvingly describe as the diversity industry’s greatest enemy – in the light of her mind-boggling testimony in Congress. Her statements, given alongside the Presidents of MIT and UPenn, revealed the core of the ideology the entire Western education system is based on in all its glory.

The oppressor vs. oppressed mindset which is - no matter how uncomfortable this may make some readers - cultural Marxism, says simply that white people and “over-performing” minorities like Indians, Jews, Chinese, Japanese and Korean Americans should be discriminated against in hiring and student applications in favour of “underprivileged groups”. As a result, college campuses on which regular meltdowns have occurred for a decade over such “hate speech” as dressing in a Mexican costume for Halloween found themselves with nothing to say about pro-Hamas demonstrations and the harassment of Jewish students on their campuses in the wake of the October 7 attacks.

But even that is not painting the full picture. Yes, Gay, a darling of the diversity industry, was targeted for her plagiarism following her complete failure of leadership in recent months. But she was also partially targeted because of the assumption, if not outright conclusion, that the reason she was appointed in the first place was, to put it mildly, not merit alone.

After all, Gay’s primary achievement is not stellar academic work, exemplary managerial skills or even charisma and force of personality. She was appointed President of Harvard following a distinguished career in fields like “improving diversity” and researching “race and identity”. To put it bluntly, many people believe that she is a diversity hire and the reason she pushed the DEI ideology that eventually led to her appalling testimony in Congress is that she is herself a beneficiary of it.

To be clear, she has not been forced out for being black. She has been forced out for being placed in a position for which she had neither the skills nor experience to succeed and then failing in it. This is the rotten legacy of affirmative action, which, as Thomas Sowell explained decades ago in 90 seconds and in many of his books since, hurts the very people it is attempting to help:

youtube

If allowing students to enter universities in which they are destined to fail for the sake of diversity harms them, then what might be said about hiring people for leadership roles in major institutions in which they are destined to fail? This harms not only them but also the people who work and study at those institutions.

To be clear, I have no evidence that Claudine Gay was hired ahead of better, more qualified candidates. But it is not hard to imagine that a position holding the prestige, reputation and nearly $1-million-a-year salary the role of Harvard President commands could have been filled by someone with more executive experience, academic achievements and other relevant expertise.

This is the other curse of the counterproductive attempts to artificially increase the presence of “underrepresented” groups in employment and education. Because everyone knows that some people are routinely given unfair preferential treatment, it becomes easier and easier for the rest of us to suspect specific individuals of being there for reasons other than merit.

So here is the truth: we must return to pursuing the goal of a colour-blind society immediately. There is no such thing as positive discrimination. All discrimination is wrong. And because it is wrong, it will create precisely the kind of resentment that Claudine Gay is now facing. She is seen as the standard-bearer of the DEI industry and is being treated as such by people who have had enough.

All of us must be treated on the content of our character. When we refuse to follow this principle, we hurt everyone: white, black, hispanic, Asian, Jewish. A healthy society relies on the equal treatment of all individuals. The fact that we have to say this out loud in 2024 is a sign of how far we’ve fallen.

DEI must be dismantled. This will take years, perhaps decades. But, in recent weeks, for the first time in a long time, we have grounds for optimism.

#Claudine Gay #DEI #affirmative action #positive discrimination #harvard #diversity #education

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jyndor · 1 year

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what’s fascinating to see is the juxtaposition of cassian as a recruiter (as an axis or a fulcrum) and luthen as a recruiter.

the show has been playing on chirrut’s words in rogue one: there’s more than one kind of prison.

so you’ve got luthen who every episode gives me more and more former jedi vibes - and say he is actually a former jedi in hiding, say it’s not just a similarity. he has made his mind a ‘sunless space’ and thinks of himself as damned because he is using his enemy’s (the sith’s) tools against them - anger, ego, unwillingness to yield, eagerness to fight. “they’ve set me down a path from which there is no escape.” i mean im not ready to pound the gavel yet but he’s definitely a jedi in hiding who has felt a need to use the very tools that he doesn’t believe in. that are antithetical to his very belief system. even if he’s not a jedi, he’s trapped in a world that he loathes, selling the pieces of cultures that have been marginalized and oppressed to fund a rebellion, a rebellion he believes in but cannot serve without selling his soul. that is a horrifying thing.

you’ve got mon mothma who lives in luxury and affluence but has locked her truth away to protect herself and to protect the rebellion - and is in a traditional marriage that began when she was a teenager, a child. for all of her privilege and she does have that in spades, that is something the show is saying - that mon is in a prison of sorts too. vel as well - though she has her freedom when she is with the rebels and with cinta.

you’ve got jung who has been undercover in the isb for six years, who now has to live with the guilt of kreegyr’s rebels likely being massacred so that the isb doesn’t find out there’s a spy in their midst. man luthen that was cold.

but those are metaphorical prisons. and that’s important to remember because ultimately while they are at risk, they’re also not in literal prison. they’re not enslaved like cassian and the others on narkina-5, or tortured like bix.

and a metaphorical prison IS easier to survive, no matter what mon says. the irony is that while cassian has been in many ways lying to the audience and to everyone else in the show until narkina, he’s always known what he’s against. to borrow saw’s words, cassian has clarity of purpose from the moment he is imprisoned. we don’t see him worn down although he surely is exhausted, we don’t see him disillusioned like melshi or in denial like kino loy (who andy serkis says was put in prison for organizing his workplace. fun fact).

he is at serious risk of torture and death but cassian is more alive and more himself than he’s seemed in the show until this arc. he’s organizing, he’s being a leader, he’s recruiting - and he seems like he’s free in some ways. because he knows the enemy intimately like luthen, but in different ways. the fact that he knows the empire thinks they’re not even worth listening to because he’s lived that his whole life, that liberates him to openly rebel in a way that seems counterintuitive. but he’s right. and it works.

but unfortunately recruits don’t always live. shit goes wrong or someone doesn’t get the help they need when they’re at their weakest - kino loy - sometimes someone has to die - like tivik, like kreegyr’s rebels - to get a message to people who can do something with it. like cassian and jyn and the rest of rogue one.

that’s where cassian is when we meet him in rogue one. back in prison, but more of a metaphorical prison (i mean saw’s cell aside lol) as chirrut notes. a mental prison, like luthen’s. like lonni jung’s.

kino loy says that “if we can fight half as hard as we’ve been working, we will be home in no time.”

rogue one is when he can finally liberate himself again and go home.

#star wars andor #cassian andor #meta #andor #andor series #kino loy #ruescott melshi #bix caleen #luthen rael #mon mothma #btw jyn is the key #she is literally what is on his mind when he frees himself in saw's cell #and also the home references and welcome home #i'm just saying it's a thing #and cassian is her key too #he is the reason melshi and kay break her out of prison #it's omg #andor spoilers

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spotsupstuff · 5 months

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Iterators, of course, aren't made capable of resting. They are here to work.

Even if biological to a degree, the components of the Hiveminds either take careful turns for a shut eye or they work themselves to death from exhaustion. Terrifying-, is Three Sparrows' opinion on that, -but they can't live any differently. Just like moths without mouths or crazed fish fighting against the streams of oceans, that's just how their Cycles are predetermined.

But there's these few rare days... Especially with the newer Iterators- those that are still chugging through life like newborn rain deer fawns, unsure in their existence, a little too vulnerable- when they slow down for a thorough, long debug session.

For the citizens this means a little dimmer day. A little bit of detoxification from screens as nonessential devices shut down or receive far too little power from the hearts of the Iterator. As those beats slow down and the energy that does get generated from them is more focused internally.

For her, as his Mechanic, this means an especially busy couple of days. Anxiety inducing ones, too.

First thing in the morning of the first day, Sparrows sends her charge a question- "how did the debug start up go?"- then remembers that the drama queen that is Caper of Euros does not wish to be bothered to formulate as horrendous things as whole words at this stage, because, in his words: "You don't understand just how *draining* it is to put together syllables in such a state!". So she adds a little unprofessional "doin good?" supplement message right after.

It takes unnaturally long for him to respond (twenty whole seconds!!!) with a singular checkmark. She breathes a sigh of relief and allows herself to go about her day now.

The city of Ales keeps relatively quiet. The typical churn of energy, cogs and thoughts of a behemoth beneath her feet is near silent even in the depths of the inner subway system. The traffic lights blink a little slower, the fake birds overhead sing just that tad bit louder. The children freed from school thanks to the low current bump into her by accident as they chase each other through the city square. Three Sparrows clutches her breakfast, gives the little rascals some mock chase with her fist waving in the air and then she sits down to finally scorf that food down.

First day is the hardest. This one is dedicated to check ups of the hearts, gravity generators and the memory arrays. All of that is functioning at its bare minimum right now and she better make use of that! Less thunderous beats for her body to weather even through the suit specialized for this, less frustrating fights against complete antigravity and less train of thoughts for her to derail by accidentally bumping into the softer bits of his mind.

She won't get to really interact with Euros today- or well... at least he won't be able to respond much to her day's worth of effort like he'd usually do. It's still strange to think of that. Running all around someone's body yet not actually properly interacting. This job forces a person through so many paradigm shifts... It gets exhausting to change one's understanding of simply *being* so many times.

So today she ensures his hearts are without a single scratch. That the Void Fluid trapped inside of the water is still spinning right (that part is always needlessly scary. the Void stuff can't be trusted, no matter how holy the preachers say it is, Three Sparrows on a Wire doesn't give a damn). She checks all the cables and tubes surrounding them, the antigravity generators solely dedicated to only this giant chamber all the while trying to keep her own little heart from panicking at the loud noise.

Manually she visits all the major generators sprinkled through the facility and runs diagnostics on the lesser ones through her watch. She amputates and treats the biological parts of the arrays that need it, tells hi to a sleepy yet determined Inspector that came to check it out, pries neuron flies out of weird places they somehow managed to wedge themselves into and takes a peek into Euros' mental state as per regulations.

She already knows his priority list won't make the demanded norms. Her own name shines at her from the first spot, forcing all too familiar self-blame to bloom in her chest. With a swipe of a finger, the screen disappears. Her final report will have lies in it again, then. Nobody can know.

At 23:11, fifteen hours since the beginning of the work day, Three Sparrows stumbles out of the stuffy biomechanical guts of her boyfriend without popping into the puppet chamber once absolutely destroyed.

"Oh, I always forget how sweet the evening air is. Void below, wow," she says, taking a deep breath before dragging herself home.

Aching limbs force her to skip normal dinner for easier-to-prepare and consume nutritional supplements, but they don't manage to stop her from making it to the daily family call. Or from quietly hacking into Euros' systems afterwards.

There's a spike of panic in the entire Hivemind, according to the live diagnostic program running on her watch and she looks on as his systems reach for the firewalls he unconsciously dropped alongside his damn heart rate (most likely, she has yet to catch the moment when he actually drops them). Three Sparrows can't help but grin to herself a little as she turns off her computer's cloaking *just* before the firewalls reactivate. The recognition of her IP address is instantaneous- telling by the sudden stop of Euros' frantic efforts at self-defense.

At least for a few seconds. Then he's rapidly purging her out and slamming the firewalls back into their place behind her. She barely manages to burst into laughter and her watch already pings with a new message. Message in question? Only reads a singular period.

But oh, those few pixels somehow manage to obtain all the dramatic affront, anger and disbelief a typical Euros rant would have. It only makes her laugh harder.

When she finally wills herself to stop, lest she gets a headache, she replies: "when will you finally remember to *not* become a sitting mouse for hackers during your debugging. you dumbass you!"

Euros replies with another period.

"watch out for yourself, ok? just bc im tots willing to break a guys face in the name of keeping your giant eight legged box butt safe doesnt mean im exactly itching for that kinda situation" "now good luck during the night. i gotta go take a five everything hurts"

Two periods and a second later, a heart.

Sparrows smiles at the screen a little, turns off her computer and climbs into the soft bed sheets.

The next day flies by a little easier. This one is dedicated to check ups of technologies related to production of the biological Hivemind members. There's quite a lot of those scattered through the whole body of Caper of Euros, but at least the hearts are beating a little faster today which means the gravity generators everywhere are stronger and that again means Sparrows gets to call upon an Inspector to hitch a ride with it for the whole day. No solo swimming in 0g this time!

All the production centres end up being more or less perfectly fine. Any damage caused by use is miniscule enough to not matter and be fixed naturally in a matter of days. As it should be with all Iterators out of their test run phases.

A small feeling of pride settles warmly behind her ribs. Another thing she can be almost certain to check off the long long list of her duties as a Mechanic, another Euros' step towards being completely self-dependent and, for the lack of biomechanical term on an Iterator scale, fully mature.

He's progressing despite small hiccups here and there and she couldn't be happier.

Though, one thing she will admit.

As she gives her goodbye to today's guide, Sparrows just can't wait for this day to be over. It won't be admitted aloud, especially where Euros could hear her, but she's starting to painfully miss their usual interactions.

Sure, today her interactions with him were... "closer" than yesterday, but it still wasn't it.

Another dissonance. Even being near something more closer to her level than the entirety of his physical body is not exactly a direct mutual interaction. The Inspector nuzzled to her, held her, clicked at her in some attempts at communication. And it was Euros, but... also just such a small piece of him.

So small, that it almost borders on meaningless. But it hurts to think of anything with such personality and role in the grand scheme of him as meaningless so she quickly shakes that thought out of her head.

It is strange. But she doesn't mind calling the *puppet* meaningless. That thing is what her heart yearns for now, whose embrace she's currently missing- its carmine coloration and big dark lenses are what her eyes are searching for. And still, the cynical and rational part of her dubs that piece useless without an issue.

Because the puppets are useful with their emptiness. The uselessness makes them precious, paradoxically enough.

She's even writing a paper on this subject, questioning if the existence of these masks or decoys- essentially inherent lies- are really so important. So naturally, her thoughts spiral further as she's walking back into his facilities during the third day.

Today is deep puppet chamber maintenance day. A whole day dedicated to the bullshit.

In her paper, Three Sparrows argues that puppets are installed more for the sake of the Anemon population more than the Iterators themselves. In the grand scheme of things, can it be said that these priorities will pay out?

Yes, certainly, there are aspects to puppets that are helpful for the Iterators themselves too. Mainly that the relatively little things are the central focus point of the Hivemind- a means for the entirety of the scattered person to come together and form an Individuality seamlessly.

'But,' she asks, 'isn't That a condition Created by The Puppet's Existence? If We direct Our Attention to the Iterator Inconvenient Sporadic Change, she was known to exist Outside of her Individuality Without Complications! Research shows that she performed just as well if not better in Her Duties than the other Iterators of Her Time Period- which, if I May remind The Reader Kindly, are some Monumental Names. Better output than that of Boreas' Blessing, Orion's Pathway and even The Dedicated Aftertaste of Disdain.

Her Processes proved to be Seamless, Direct, Quicker. Reports are Also Kind Enough to mention the Need for Maintenance- Be it Physical, Psychological or Emotional- was at a sweet Minimum.

If a Puppet of an Iterator Should not be Given, is it Possible that the Hivemind would find a Different, Healthier Way of Coming Together? Of My educated Opinion, I'd dare to Say Yes.

The Consciousness would have the Free Choice of expanding Outwards, to the Limits of the Superstructure, rather than Claustrophobically Inwards. This Change of Procedure would Potentially Result in Absence of These known Disorders that Plague Your Great Gifts to the World:'

Then there is also of course the benefit of pearl reading and printing, but really? Her computer doesn't need a whole person just to burn her a picture, song or some text into the surface of a pearl and then also read it back. This function of the puppets is a weakness if anything. Why not exchange the entire chamber setup for something like a series of pearl readers so they might as well multitask in this, too?

Euros certainly could be reading twenty pearls at once and burning information onto thirty other, for sure. Maybe that would sate his programmed hyperactivity at least a little before he gains access to his predetermined role as a Phone Operator Chief of the Eo group.

The puppets are just a ginormous fumble at optimization of the Iterator blueprint and that's that.

And still...

Three Sparrows climbs through the pipe into Caper of Euros' puppet chamber. This place is like another heart, despite its function being nothing like a real one. A hub of his mind, maybe. An important, precious piece of him, even if those epithets are forced onto it by circumstance.

Her feet hit the floor and the chamber brightens up just that bit to signal at least a piece of his attention is now dedicated to the happenings within the room, but stays deep carmine instead of turning light pink. That signals he's still working, just as she instructed him.

Overseers come and go to take a look at her, some stay to watch her. Understandable, since the puppet is slumped over in the middle of the floor, sitting with its eyes half closed- for once, he is the one frustratingly limited in his ability to interact with her properly even though she's right here.

"Good morning, Caps!" Sparrows cheerfully calls into the more or less empty room, giving the Overseers a quick salute in greeting. They reply with quick spins of their tendrils, the room itself greets her back with a pleased purr. One that she can feel shaking her legs even through the metal soles of her boots as she walks over to today's main point of interest.

Kneeling next to it, she rests a hand over its chest in support. "Alright. As always, we'll get through the detachment sequence and you can go fully back to finishing off the debugging. How close are you to being done?"

Something whirrs and then a projection appears on the wall in front of her of a progress bar. 87%.

"Nice! You are getting faster. Come on now, then."

During a deep maintenance of the puppet, it is advised to nearly fully disconnect it from the rest of the structure. The purpose of that is to give the systems some rest, but also to avoid stressing out or making the Hivemind uncomfortable by sticking a hand into what it perceives as its very personal very own chest.

The first step is for the Hivemind to pull back from the body, to avoid the shock of forceful extraction. Once that is done, the Iterator disconnects the umbilical arm from the back and allows the Mechanic to slowly push it away. Carefulness is needed during this- the arm contains cables and tubes, acting like an umbilical cord for an unborn offspring in some animals.

The baby analogy never fails to make her skin crawl. While Anemons conceive children without such things, it's still so... personal. It stirs unwanted feelings inherent to intelligent organic beings, the need to look after a child. These puppets are like stillborns. Stuck within the womb for the "mother" to use as an extension of its being.

That is not a matter easily pondered.

The next step, after the bundle of crucial cords safely rests on the ground, is to disconnect the umbilical cables from the back of the puppet's head.

One by one, Sparrows disconnects them. And with the last, Euros' puppet goes slack against her hand. Quite unnerving, that. It always makes her heart jump even though she knows better than to worry.

She secures the umbilical cables to the arm and pulls back to take a look at him, both arms supporting his shoulders. The head lolls, eyes still open a little yet unseeing. Something whispers that's not right, so she guides his eyelids closed for him.

...Iterators can't sleep. But the useless piece of Euros looks like he does and suddenly she can't help but feel like this is the most important thing in existence.

The something in her shifts, the something that is yearning, loving, that wants to take care of another and keep him safe from the sharp world outside.

Sparrows caves. Gathers the puppet into her arms, rests his head against her shoulder. The chamber lowly, but sharply whirrs. He's probably annoyed that she has decided to be all cuddly and sweet now when he can't be fully present for it. What little consciousness he can still muster in the puppet presents itself in the tiniest nuzzle of his face into her neck.

Such a small gesture, yet it steals her breath away. She hugs him... it.. closer, cheek presses against his forehead, a hand moves to caress the side of his face.

She marvels at the feeling of holding him. Questions why she is left stumped by an almost empty thing.

He's sleeping, face buried against her neck, says the something- he is awake, just a little drowsy, staring at her with seven eyes across the room, replies reason.

She cradles him in her lap… he's so thin and light, the feeling begs her to keep him safe until he wakes up again, he wouldn't be able to defend himself against a predator-! He holds her in his center, so small and insignificant compared to his mind breaking vastness.. her life span so minute compared to what he is yet to live through. Someone of his caliber wouldn't find a challenge in simply deleting her like a line of code.

'The only thing keeping me truly safe are the taboos woven in their genes,' says the cynical piece of mind, jaded by decades of unkind life and all tired, entertaining the absolute worst of scenarios for the sake of a warning. 'I couldn't be in a safer place than here, at his mercy, in this artificial world where he might as well be a true god,' says the lovesick heart backed up by years of experience, making her arms tighten in a hug.

She caresses his arm, taking a note of the bit too dry skin, created similarly enough to her own to bring comfort of familiarity, only to be snatched away again when there's no softness of flesh beneath.

'That's just a Generation 2 thing,' the knowledgeable mind shrugs it off.

And the more primal worrywart of a heart panics about it as it applies organic understanding of things to it. Remembering the few times Sparrows was allowed to touch Boreas' puppet, the many times Zephyr pulled her against her side for the night. Those are his family members! They are padded with something pliable-

Cushioning of Generation 1 to combat possible gravity generator outages. There's more certainty in the Iterator engineering now, Euros has no need for those. He's better off than either of them. He's safer and, terrifyingly, many times more loved than them.

She sighs, concerned and-

"Sparrows?"

Ah, that seems to be the limit for how long Euros is willing to take the actionless silence. The voice is relatively quiet considering it always echoes through the little room from the speakers seated in the corners of the ceiling. It's kind of sluggish. Not entirely out of the concentration of debugging. The Overseers have come closer.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Sure you were. Your face went on quite the journey there. Why were you frowning so much?"

She considers. "...dissension of... wants and reality, I guess."

"Well then don't go doing that when I can't feasibly help out. Same with the cuddles I want in on that."

Three Sparrows only rolls her eyes in amusement at that and goes back to work, this time with the Overseers watching her a bit more intently. It's a little uncomfortable, but she can't blame him for worrying when she does so constantly.

Later that day, when the sun hides away, her gaze lingers in random places.

In the kitchen at the table with one chair, one plate and one cup of tea. She stares at the too much space on the couch in the little living room, one toothbrush waiting at the sink, the empty place beside her in the bed.

Perhaps an Iterator puppet isn't the only empty thing in her life.

#rw #oc: three sparrows #oc: caper of euros #oc tag #philosophy sessions au #my writing #inspired by the need to have sparrows cradle a sleepy caper puppet despite her opinions on puppets #the fight of mind's opinions and heart's instinctual opinions.... oh the inner discord #mind: puppets are basically appendixes. Useless. | heart: That Is My Fuckin Boy!!! my LOVERBOY. i protect partner... get awae from him...#kinda a sad ending but what can you do. rw is tragedy adjacent and iterators are actual literal tragedies. their existence Sucks

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