#but i do think he's an angry person

[sunflowerthiefsunny]

Watching this episode made me think (no matter how much I hate it) that Porter has a point about Gorgug not properly utilizing his rage. Gorgug is constantly trying to distance himself from his anger, he doesn't enjoy being angry. We see this often, but especially during the frost festival when he's so mad at Ruben, his parents, and just the overall situation, but he just squashes it down. And of course, it's something that has become more prevalent with his foray into Artificer because it's a class that requires a lot of focus. I think he's seeing it as a disadvantage when it could be his greatest asset and motivator. I really think he could actually be using his rage in a similar direction and use it as a calming point of focus (kind of how Lydia has to constantly be in a rage but shes very chill) rather than an explosive violent rage.

#dimension 20 #gorgug thistlespring #i know its wishfull thinking but im seeing parallels #Gorgug has never been a loud violent person #but i do think he's an angry person #and rightfully so #growing up in a space that feels too small for yourself and constantly having to question your abilities is frustrating #i think he could really translate that rage into a more quiet smoldering sort of anger #i also think it would act as a cool analogy to the actual physical threat of this maybe rage god #gorgug using rage in a way this god wouldnt #dimension 20 fantasy high spoilers #dimension20 fantasy high #gorgug fantasy high

[autisticrosewilson]

While we're on the topic of De-aging AU's I wanna talk about Jason and Damian if Jason was 14 again real quick.

Do you guys think that Damian looks at this version of Jason, so different from the version he knows, nothing like the person he was told Jason was, and feels uncomfortably seen?

Damian was always told that Jason died because he was reckless, because he disobeyed orders, he was fired as Robin and he got himself killed. A cautionary tale, not a threat to his position. He dismisses Jason because Bruce does, because Dick does, because sometimes even Babs and Alfred do.

That's not the kid that he's looking at now. This Jason is happy, and smart, and full of love that has not yet soured into grief. He hangs on Bruce's every word, trains until his hands bleed and his body gives out to perfect the moves Bruce teaches him. He looks at Bruce with stars in his eyes and he calls him dad.

And Damian can't help but think, that this is the perfect Robin. The perfect son. And if Jason - sweet, loving, strong, Jason - can be fired, can die and have his room locked away and his pictures torn down, can have his last memory as Robin be as A Good Soldier, how could the rest of them ever compete? What could Damian do to stand a chance?

Jason will never grow out of the shadow of Robin, like the rest of them did. As long as Bruce, and Dick, and Babs, and Alfred look at him and see a dead kid who came back wrong, he will never get to be anything else. He will not get to be looked at through who he is now without the shadow of a dead boy looming over him.

And the worst part? Jason is exactly the same person he was back then. Bitter, sure, angry, justifiably, but he is still the boy with too much love in his heart and righteous fury festering in his gut. He is exactly the same boy who threw himself in front of an explosion to save his mother.

(The lines between the mother that betrayed him and the father that disgraced him are so very blurred. Fire or blade or crowbars or fists it does not matter. It ends the same way it always does because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe, in every timeline, Jason dies and crawls out only to be killed again and again and again.)

#dc #jason todd #damian wayne #de aging #I personally am obsessed with the headcanon that they met in the league which lends it's own sense of tragedy #but this is a more canon take on it #Bruce Wayne critical #do you guys think he watched Jason fall back into old routines and is so unbelievably angry because none of it matters #do you think he listens to Jason talk about homework and his grades and his clubs and the colleges he wants to go to #and all he can think of is how unfair it is #that Jason never gets it. That everything about who he was got distorted and exaggerated and there was nothing left of this boy #that the love and blood and late nights never mean anything because this is a ghost walking the halls disproving all the legends #what is the prodigal son to do when he comes home but the locks have changed

[molinaesque]

"You went against your word and defied our contract! In doing so, you brought the chaos of your world into mine! I will not abide it!" - Raphael (Baldur's Gate, 2023)

#raphael #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #raphael bg3 #raphael baldur's gate 3 #games #bg3gifs #okay one of the things i love is how if you do the team raphael route and sign the contract and choose to break it #all of this sounds SO much more personal #like kudos to Andrew Wincott... Raphael just sounds so angry and dissapointed #like he's not being smug or smarmy for the most part #which is pretty damn rare already #when he pops in and says “You?!” it's with such utter disbelief #like he genuinely didn't think you'd ever even consider doing such a thing when he has been actualy pretty truthful #he just operates LIKE THAT because as Korilla mentions “he's the devil! It's his nature!” #i LOVE that #like that third line? when he says “littlle mouse” it just sounds SO dissapointed #i just love how layered and they wrote the characters #anyway don't worry booboo i'll do a save file where tav doesn't break your black heart

[midnightcrows]

His nose was broken, and his lips and chin were wet with gore. There was blood in his eyes and under his hair, and his expression was one of cold and perfect murder. It was as though losing the rapier had snapped some invisible shackle. He didn't even look angry; he looked like an ending given human form.

#I know the expression is angry but let’s pretend this is taking some of the coming off the coffin like the emperors wrath energy #after doing 4 of these I actually got to thinking about Hey what was Nonius like as a person I wonder #and now I need to do a nice normal piece of him like drinking tea or smth #who’s the man behind the myth like #did he have hobbies #did he ever have a collection of objects or plants #matthias nonius #fanart #harrow the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth #the locked tomb #my art #tlt #tlt fanart #harrow the ninth fanart #cw blood #the locked tomb spoilers

[agentark]

in the span of maybe an hour, clara oswald goes from, "I already know - don't say it." to, "people like you and me should say things to each other" and I'll never get over it

she literally gets pulled out of time the moment before her death and learns he's been clawing his way back to her for 4.5 BILLION years?? Just to save her??? I would also suddenly and urgently have words

#doctor who #clara oswald #12th doctor #twelveclara #you say goodbye to the person who's most important in the whole universe to you #things between you are left unsaid but not unknown #and then just before your heart stops beating - he's there?? #but he's frantic and desperate and angry and not entirely himself and when you look in his eyes #you know it's been more than a few minutes for him #but BILLIONS of years??? #(Clara's stronger than me I'd pass out or go catatonic from the sheer enormity of that realization) #of course you have to say something in the face of something so terrible and beautiful #and frankly he's too consumed by grief and anger to hear her #but I imagine whatever she said was both a confession and a plea to never do that on her behalf again #dw #i think even at the end clara doesn't quite grasp the sheer depth of his love for her until then #and she never wanted to die - but she didn't want him to do THAT; that level of devotion was unfathomable #god im obsessed with them #when is it my turn

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[itsdefinitely]

doctor i just thought about the jeri/rys for too long and teared up . is this normal

#look look look im not insane #im just thinking about how boy jerry is angry and loud and demanding #and how girl jeri is sadder and quieter and lets boy jerry do the dirty work #like burying the bodies and cleaning up the blood #how girl jeri probably thinks she can only rely on boy jerry #but how boy jerry probably thinks he can only rely on himself #do you see what im saying #how boy jerry takes and takes and takes and takes #and how girl jeri just keeps giving without question #because to her boy jerry is the one person she can give her trust. so she gives him all of her trust #how boy jerry probably doesnt trust girl jeri nearly as much as she trusts him #all for none and none for all yknow? #<- i know it's supposed to be 'all for one' but i need to get my point across #definite's ted talks #man. i need to shut up about them

[kaladinkholins]

guys cmon. be ffr please. akemi did Not love taigen. the only reason why she was desperate to search for him to the point of putting herself in danger is because she didn't want to get married to an abusive man (which she believed at the time that takayoshi was). when seki tried to dissuade her from running off, her reason was not "but i love taigen and wanna be with him 🥺" it was because she refused to be controlled and have her autonomy taken from her; she literally says "i won't be locked away in edo married to a stranger." and when seki still tries to argue that getting married to the heir of the shogun would be better than getting caught by brigands, she then says "that kind of man"—referring to takayoshi—"treats women like animals. they say he's a tyrant." and when seki chuckles and says "what man isn't?" her response is "you." she doesn't even talk about taigen. she is using him as much as he was using her. they both see—or, well, saw—each other as means to an end. for taigen he saw that marrying into the tokunobu clan would elevate his status and wealth. for akemi she wanted the right to choose who she married, and she wanted that person to be someone kind. that's it! neither of them loved each other. but since they were courting of course they acted sweet to each other, and they do still care for one another, especially due to their romantic history. but let's be real! akemi is a boss bitch who dropped taigen and forgot all about his ass as soon as she saw takayoshi was a nice guy. because duh? not only is takayoshi a better lover (it's implied their lovemaking lasted a long time) but he's also kinder towards her and presents her with an opportunity to claim power and freedom, which she would not have if she had married taigen, as she would have still been stuck under her father's thumb. so literally why should she settle for taigen's stupid ass! she may be a little naive at times but she's still incredibly intelligent. she would not do something stupid for the sake of "love." you know who would though? taigen.

#blue eye samurai #wank.mp3 #kinda? #fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #like out of the 4 main characters #akemi is the brains (the mental aspect) #she mainly uses reason and rhetoric. that's why she's so good at persuasion and manipulation. #ringo is the soul (spiritual aspect) #ringo serves as the show's moral compass and gets mizu to follow her morality #taigen is the heart (emotional aspect) #taigen will always impulsively follow his feelings (he's so brash for this reason. if he feels angry he will act on it etc) #mizu is the body (physical aspect) #mizu suppresses her emotions. her reason. and her morals. she only lets her skills and primal instincts guide her. #that's why she's almost super human sometimes #but anyway yeah #akemi? is a strong-willed self-empowered woman! she is not some damsel. she is intelligent though somewhat naive #please do not mischaracterise her cuz she is a boss bitch! she is a queen a cuntress a baddie #also on that note. the nature of taigen and akemi's rship is one of the reasons why im not keen on a polycule ending #like please explore it in fanfic and fandom! i personally just dont want it canon. i just dont see it working! #like literally i dont even think taigen found her attractive... #i mean he did obv find her very beautiful as everyone does. but did yall SEE his face when she propositioned him? #no desire in that man's eyes. he is GAY! his sexuality is men + mizu. he is a raging and bitchy bisexual!

[arsenicflame]

izzy hands with misplaced resentment towards jim because of the association with losing limbs in the night out of his control

#& the whole begging them to kill him thing and having that denied feeling like its taking away his autonomy in the situation #idk its something #i just think exploring complex emotions is really interesting like. obviously jim was doing it for his own good #and its not that izzy doesn't understand that. but hes been held down in the night and had things taken from him before #and its hard not to associate that sometimes #& maybe you can't be angry at the person you really want to be angry at but you need to be angry at someone #and maybe its easier to be angry at the people trying to help you #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #jim jimenez

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Getting a little emotional over Colin and Jamie in 3x09, what with that long hug and the “I love you so much, man”. because Colin was one of Jamie’s side-pricks way back when, and that’s different from, say, Sam being the victim of Jamie’s very overt bullying (not that Colin escaped the vicious barbs by being a sycophant; jaundiced worm and everything). Like, the anger you can feel towards someone that did not only treat you badly but also inspired and encouraged your own bad behaviour? Yeah. Sometimes being complicit in the nastiness makes it even harder to forgive.

Yet here they are, and not that much later. And it’s not just them being fine with each other, either, not just them getting along well enough to make do: it’s Jamie saying we got you and then holding and holding and holding Colin after his stellar perfomance in that match, and Colin telling Jamie that he loves him so much. However unequal and destructive it started out, it’s such a great thing for both of them now, and I do love that.

#colin hughes #jamie tartt #colin and jamie both have this sassy himbo vibe #OF COURSE they’d get along like a house on fire #once jamie stops being an asshole #and colin feels confident enough not to just go along with whatever #i am so so interested in how colin navigated jamie’s return #because he was initally among the most angry and vengeful #and i do think that part – though certainly not even nearly all! – of that is him struggling with his own guilt #or distaste of the person he'd once been in part because of jamie tartt #delicious complicated feelings... #3x09 #meta #well for a certain value of meta... #happy midsummer y'all!

[itsafternoonpast5]

thinking about their friendship so hard

#camp camp #cc #David #jasper #fanart #DUDEEE nobody gets them like i do theyre so good #theyre so tragic.. they never truly got to know each other. the last time they ever seen each other they were angry with the other :( #but there’s so much regret that comes with it too. they never got to talk it out. be on good terms #they could see each other at any moment but they other doesn’t know #they call each other best friends yet we never really see them being best friends.. but maybe they get each other like no one else does #their personalities did a complete swap with each other - they understand how the other is thinking and feeling. #David hated the camp but after one good thing he loves it. viseversa with jasper #when they last saw each other they were clouded with their views and didn’t try to understand things from their lens #yet even if they didn’t - they still understood each other. if you get what I mean #theyre foils. but so is max and david and that’s what makes both relationships compelling for me. theyre so similar to each other #no wonder david is so attached to max. he sees himself in him and he sees jasper in him too #i know jaspers just a character to show how bad the camp is. but there’s so much depth to him too #he has a lot of missed potential.. i hope he’s in season 5 at least. id like to see him again #srry for the character analysis im insane #jaspvid

[carefulfears]

the scully of fight the future who doesn’t want a career in the bureau at all if she can’t do it with him. who debated even telling him that she’s quitting in person, and feels like her loss won’t even make a difference: he doesn’t need her, she only holds him back. the scully who doesn’t even make it to the elevator. the way that as soon as he starts speaking, she goes silent. she can’t even respond. this is not a debate. tears just pour down her face, as he tells her that she owes nothing. that she has made her favorite person, a “whole” person. that she has saved him “a thousand times over.” and she stays completely silent. all she can do is cry, and hold him, and kiss his forehead. how small she must feel sometimes…being dragged from one spot to the next, following along. the way her face just collapses as she moves from holding onto his shoulder to pull him down to her. he breaks her open sometimes.

#she believes in him so much and she thinks he can save the world even if she moves on. and he’s so frustrated he’s almost angry #as he just spits out at her that she’s the entire reason he’s here. #‘i owe you EVERYTHING. scully…and you owe me nothing.’ #from the person she believed in so much she nearly lost her life to follow him!! whom she looked up to from her deathbed #and said take EVERYTHING i have left!!! my dignity my reputation my dying breaths take it ALL!!! #her ahab!! #and she owes nothing. she is everything. she matters. #and she’s been going back/forth with him every day for 5 years but she is rendered with nothing to say. #nothing to do but cry and hold him and hold him and hold him #make him bow his head to her so she can kiss it and try to absolve him. like he did her in that hospital hallway. #so much grief in being needed #it just says so much that the only time she ever considers leaving him is because she thinks SHE is bad for HIM. #and he tells her……i cannot do it without you. but i expect nothing from you anyway. #and being told she’s needed by her best friend reduces her to tears. no wonder. #txf.txt #ftf

[talentforlying]

time to get pissed about the fact that constantine's father's hatred for and dismissal of him extends all the way down to his fucking name.

like yeah, john is a fine & normal name. he doesn't have any strong feelings about it and neither does anyone else. but john's mother wanted him, loved him, and iirc might have already had a name picked out for him before she died. (his older sister was named cheryl, which wasn't even in the TOP 100 most common UK girl names at the time, so there was a precedent for putting a lot of thought into naming her kids!!) and then she dies, and thomas just. doesn't. care. john, number one most common UK baby name for the four preceding decades. like john smith. like john fucking doe.

how it must feel to him when people say that name with actual affection instead of rage. how rare that is in his line of work. how different it must sound when he's wanted.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #PERSONALS DO NOT REBLOG #wrapping up my rage of caliban obsession with this fuckin thing because AUGH. I'M MAD ABOUT IT #'john doe' is particularly what i think of when i consider name choice bc his dad Confirmed that he wanted john dead as soon as he was born #said to him multiple times in the comics that he wished john had died instead of his mum #almost completely ignored him as a baby until he was old enough to understand being blamed for things outside of his control #GOD. thomas constantine makes me so fucking ANGRY #don't mind me i'm rereading issue 100 and SEETHING #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

[waterberry-strawmelon]

just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—

if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.

#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify #but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/ #popular media. #I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction. #But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists #because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance #and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual. #Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic. #Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic. #(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.) #anyways. #the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum #is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation. #because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or #‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance. #I’m angry and I’m allowed to be. #I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something #But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together. #I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation #Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively #Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT. #But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon #OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all. #fhjy #fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #riz gukgak #aromantic riz gukgak #fhsy

[devondespresso]

writing my silly little fic and again im struck with how much opportunities they missed by pretending the s2 stancy breakup wasn't messy, specifically for Nancy's guilt about barb and forcing herself to grow up too fast

like s1 Nancy spends one night being a stupid teenager goofing off at her boyfriend's party and staying over to get spicy while Barb goes home. then she later realizes Barb disappeared and died that one night she was letting go and having fun. this is widely recognized trauma for her and informs a lot if not most of her actions through the rest of the show

in season 2 she's feeling the weight of it more around the first year anniversary. steve trys to help by taking her to a party to forget for a little while and 'be stupid teenagers' for a night. a perfectly set up parallel already

the way the show wants it to go, we get the bullshit argument, they fight, allegedly break up at some point, and nancy sleeps with Jonathan. later steve tells her to go with him and we're supposed to read it as Steve stepping back so jancy can happen. we're supposed to be seeing this as a happy ending.

but with the material we're given this would have been the perfect place for an emotional repeat of season 1 for nancy. she and steve go to the party and pretend to be stupid teenagers for the night. but oh no! nancy lets lose too much, lets herself relax and drink and dance, and the next day her boyfriend's pissed. hes saying she said things she never remembered saying and its hurt him and she doesn't know what to do. and kids around school are talking about them breaking up at the party, and that fits with Steve's anger she saw, so they must've broken up right? it sucks, even if she wasn't in love with him, that'd be the worst way to break up with someone (especially if she's confusing platonic and romantic feelings or convincing herself it has to be romantic when she really just values him as a friend)

and then she doesn't have time to work it out, she needs to go with Jonathan to avenge barbs 'disappearance' to give her family closure. She's got a lot of conspiracy shit to do and its stressful. so when murray starts going off about how she's not really in love with steve, how she actually likes Jonathan and he seems to like her back. they finished a lot of the hard work with the conspiracy stuff, she can let her guard down and have a quick good night.

then the next day is chaos. demodogs and labs and will being possessed. It a rough fucking day. Steve tells her to go with Jonathan while they get the mindflayer out of Will, civil like they're on good terms so she does (and thank god she did because that was rough and they needed all the help they could get)

and then everything's fine again, with the upside down. and it looks like she handled things better this time, was about to relax occasionally and still made it through.

except apparently she and steve didn't break up. he thought it was just a few fights, that they put their shit aside for the apocalypse and now they can work things out.

and it could ruin nancy. a year later and she's still hasn't learned her lesson, that letting her guard down hurts the people she cares about, that relaxing and having fun makes her lose people. its her fault for the messy breakup with Steve and its her fault that barb is gone. she's the reason she's lost friends close to her, 2 for 2, and now she only has Jonathan left (and what do you know, season 3 has her conflict with Jonathan and in season 4 she's not let anyone else get truly close to her and fred still dies)

you see what i mean?? by having conflict magical resolve itself in the background we loose so much powerful, painful character drama for her. our girl who thinks she has to keep the world around her up solely on her shoulders because she can't handle the loss of her best friend in season 1. Nancy who desperately wants to be normal and have people she loves but keeps losing them, through factors both in and out of her control, but feels like everything has to be her fault just because some things were.

and to be fair, that story is still present in the show. its there and definitely compelling, but it could've been even more so. i feel like if maybe there was less 'nancy has to be a strong independent girlboss' in there (abd it's definitely there, they want to make a point of making her a Strong Woman Character so bad) and she was allowed to have mistakes acknowledged by the narrative, this is the direction it would've gone. She could've been an excellent example of well written women who are strong and awesome through their own right instead of the narrative trying to make us like her

#nancy wheeler #stranger things meta #stranger things thoughts #platonic stancy #stranger things #platonic stancy because while this could definitely be used in a jancy breakup then stancy fic #my personal theory is that she thinks she should like him romantically because he sees her like that but she actually likes him as a friend #and the bullshit scene was just the worst way for her to say it because she waited so long and refused to when she was sober #also didn't tag anti-nancy because i don't think it is really? like its anti-canon-depiction-because-i-think-they-did-her-dirty #also this is kinda nancy pov so its not like she's actually at fault for everything but in her mind she blames herself anyway #so yea #the fic is my Steve Henderson AU btw for ppl who've never seen me before #stancys not the focus (its steve pov with the Hendersons being main characters) but i want to do a serious platonic stancy workthrough in i #so this is just my headcanons (technically canon compliant based on what we see on screen but not following the narrative direction y'know) #devon's steve henderson au #steve henderson au rambles #hoping praying to god this doesn't make people angry but if it does feel free to block me i don't mind and i really dont want to argue #no disc horse for me just silly little thoughts and headcanons thanks for understanding #devon thinks sometimes

[yellowocaballero]

man, reading ch3 was a ride, it's like all fun and jokes and then all of sudden, Nope! It's time to be sad now! but it's so good with it? like, I really enjoyed how seriously you took it, and that moment in the classroom was really like 'oh shit this is legit' in a way that had my heart just sinking in my chest and with the tone whiplash from the rest of the fic so far, it was just literally so good to read. also, seeing byleth and the rest of the class just kinda grapple with wth to do with dimitri while he's deep in this episode is just very interesting, especially when they all have their own hangups and issues with everything. 👍

YESSSSS. I'm always so excited to post the moment the story actually kicks into gear, and this chapter was it for Weekenders. A lot of fun.

I wrote a post a while back about people's discomfort with writing severe mental illness,

and while I wouldn't say Weekenders is a spite fic, it was influenced by how difficult it was to find non-modern AU fic that wrote Dimitri specifically as somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum/bipolar.

It was so hit-me-over-the-head obvious while I was playing! His entire personality and behavior flipped on a DIME in Part 1, and it flipped 'back' in Part 2. He couldn't switch topics, he was ranting incoherently, he was having headaches, he was doing nothing but training, he obviously wasn't sleeping or grooming, he was convinced a 12yo had orchestrated an assasination - that's not depression/anxiety/PTSD, and it's not even just a psychotic episode (mania does have elements of psychosis, hence the paranoid delusions). And, obviously, the actual hallucinations, delusions, antisocialness, lack of grooming, impulsivity, etc, of Part 2 that rang very loudly of a schizophrenic/schizoaffective psychotic break.

But equally important is the fact that Dimitri's illness did not make him hateful and homicidal. Dimitri was always a hateful person. I don't think he's naturally hateful nearly to the degree that he shows while having an episode, but one of the most important lines in the BL route is when Dedue just says that Dimitri was always angry and hateful, and that he just hid it. His behavior in late Part 1/part 2 is him losing all capability to hide it. I don't think he's a pathological liar, and I don't think the Dimitri we see throughout Part 1 is 'fake' - I just think he withholds a lot. Dimitri's cruelty is just as important as his generosity. His hatred is as important as his empathy. The horrible sides of his illness are just as important as the comfortable sides. Do you see what I mean?

That is what interests me about Dimitri so much. Dimitri wants to be Marth. Dimitri tries to be Chrom. Dimitri dresses up like Roy. He is not. He is an angry, paranoid, brutal murderer. Any depiction of Dimitri that forgets that - that unironically only protrays the Dimitri that he shows the world and never the sides of him that he's ashamed of - is kinda buying what he's selling, and it both demonstrates a deep disinterest in who he is and a discomfort with the sides of his illness that aren't palatable.

Dimitri's psychosis did not make him hateful (I think his PTSD had a lot more to do with his anger problems). It made him scared. Mania and psychosis are a very, very scary experience. His mind is constantly telling him that he's in danger, that Byleth's in danger, that everybody and everything around him wants to hurt and kill him, that he is a sinner if he doesn't avenge his dead family. And Dimitri is a good child soldier, and he knows that we destroy our enemies with prejudice. He's a good leader, and he knows that the BL are never safe and that their enemies are everywhere. He's a good son, and he knows that you have to avenge them. Violence solves problems and Dimitri is scared and angry and if he doesn't solve the problem he can't protect the woman and people he loves.

This is serious to me! I'm trying not to make this THAT long but I could go ooooon lol. I understanding wanting to either make him realistically/explicitly schizophrenic OR make him violent, because violent schizophrenics are a bad and harmful stereotype. But I think both sides of him are important, because I don't want to whitewash Dimitri's illness or his experiences. It's scary for the people around you. It very frequenty is triggered from trauma and hardship and it is informed by your life. Like many characters in FE3H, Dimitri is the product of the evils of his world.

Byleth's arc in this story is about her growing into a human being. It is shown as a beautiful thing. It is wonderful to be a person. It would contradict the message of the story to show Dimitri as anything else but a human being - flaws, traumas, SMI and all. He was Marth to her. That's the point.

I went on for soooo long lol but thanks for the ask!

#my writing #my asks #you didnt directly ask about any of this but ive been itching to say it so love and peace <3 #i think its also worth mentioning that sometimes PTSD uh DOES make you hateful and angry and mean #and that it's. normal? expected? it's not inherently bad rep to show a character w/PTSD and anger issues? #like ppl will write a character w/PTSD but only if they get panic attacks and are sad :( #you know. sympathetic people. #i do think connecting violence with psychosis is bad rep but uh it's EXTREMELY hard to argue his ptsd #i felt this same way about Vash Trigun. #when people wrote Vash as GENUINELY #UNIRONICALLY #the person he pretended to be #it misses the point. to me it demonstrates a lack of interest in the character #you can project onto the self-esteem and depression so that's all the character is #and that doesn't leave room for the parts that are uncomfortable so those parts just don't exist #LIKE NOT A CRIME BUT. #JUST BORING? #BAD WRITING? #ok and to me. on the internet. being boring is the greatest crime of all. #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd