#but i'm curious to know what the percentage of it is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twig-tea · 3 months

Note

Lately I’ve been feeling like Thai bl is truly all over the place with so many shows airing at once and some of the best ones flying under the radar while discourse is focused on a couple of the big messy ones. I think you’re the only person I know who is actually watching ALL of them and has been here for the whole evolution of the genre, so I’m curious what stands out to you about this current moment. Do the shows feel different to you? Is the way fandom is interacting with them changing? And what are your current favs?

I ended up writing a thesis, sorry friend lol To be fair to me there are 3 questions in there, all of them meaty! I've done my best to give a sense of where I'm at with Thai BL and how it feels like it's changed over time.

Caveating all of this: I am just one fan who I'm sure has had specific experiences that will colour my opinion, also a lot of this is just vibes so I'm open to being told I've forgotten something major or misremembered what it was like! If you are reading this and your opinion or experience is different please share, with stuff like this I'm always interested in hearing about differing opinions because the fandom experience will depend at least partly on where you hang out. For years, my main fandom space for BL was the YouTube comments section (RIP me).

Overall feel

Honestly, things overall don't feel all that different to me in Thai BL in particular, even though I'm about to talk about a lot of changes and ways it actuallyd does feel very different below lol And after reflecting about it, I think it's because these things still feel very much in flux, in a way that they've felt in flux this entire time. Producers are still figuring out the best funding and distribution models and merch models to make money; creators are still calibrating how queer these shows can be and still be popular; actors are still figuring out how to do BGP (business gay performances) without having fans interfere in their private lives off the clock. Writers are still trying to figure out how to write 12-episode arcs that don't drag in the middle or fumble the ending (which is also not new). The tension between established ships, fan expectations, and genre requirements has honestly been there almost the whole time, though the reverberations of missteps is louder now because of the larger fanbase that is (comparatively) more plugged in to live viewing. The core question in BL has always been 'how do we make this marketable', and that unsurprisingly hasn't changed, though the answer to that question has over time, if that makes sense?

Shows

Do the shows feel different? As a whole, I'd say yes. The biggest differences are of course total quantity and overall quality, but the actual distribution of % of shows that have high(er) production values (i.e. quality) feels close to the same--it was close to 50/50 in the late 2010s and now is maybe more like 40/60 with a higher percentage coming from more smaller production companies. But the numbers we're talking about are something like 15 shows in e.g. 2018 and something more like 50 shows in 2023 (being vague because there are shows that people could argue over whether they should count). The quality overall has increased, even the pulps look better, sound better, and tend to feel a little bit more put together than the pulps of even 2020 (please note that these are all relative qualifiers, most of these shows are still not objectively good). 2020 in particular was a watershed moment for high production value BLs; we get colorists and special effects artists, and sometimes decent sound production now!

There has also been an improvement in terms of what is depicted and how certain subject matter is treated very generally, though I think that's still in flux. Things like evil ex girlfriends are less common than they were and the women in BL are more likely (in general, still not always) to be treated as realized characters. We've gotten more and better femme representation in ensemble shows, and the "gay for you" trope is much less common. Consent is now considered sexy and is much more common than it was; non-consent as "sexy" has eroded and is much less common. Things that used to happen in almost every BL now happen in a much lower percentage. I also feel a little bit less worried about some of the actors on pulp sets because there is more general scrutiny about things like minor actors, intimacy coordination, BGP (business gay performance) expectations, and sexual exploitation. Overall, show recommendations these days come with fewer caveats.

The assumption that if you worked with someone on a BL once you would stay with them as an established pairing was surprisingly early in BL; I don't know if it's just because there were a few shows that had side pairings then get main shows, so the actors did work together on a few shows in a row, which made them feel established, or whether it's because the BGP started early to build hype both before and after shows aired, or whether audiences just made homophobic assumptions about how if two actors had chemistry they had to be gay for each other, and otherwise nobody would want to "play gay" more than once, or would want to have to kiss too many other men....in any case, there were huge scandals and blow-ups around this in BL on even the earliest shows, and some early shows were snubbed because of the pairing alone. Similarly, it was established very early in BL (i.e. 2016-17) that an unhappy ending for a pair would result in your show being panned; cheating was also a guaranteed flop in BL circles (though some ensemble shows that had gay relationships in them such as Friend Zone did fine with cheating plots and unhappy endings). Overall it feels like some things were only depicted in early Thai BL and creators have avoided them since due to the audience reception at the time. I will say, generally, that there have now been enough examples of people in a "branded pair" moving on to a new pair or multiple shows, that it feels less like a death knell to a BL career if one of the actors says they no longer wanted to make BLs, or if they switched companies.

I pay a lot of attention to queerness in BL, and that has changed a little bit too, though not in the way I expected. I had been expecting a more clear and steady trajectory in BL, but we've instead had real swings, and I've realized there will just always be shows that feel more or less actually gay or queer than others, and that's ok. Early Thai shows really spoiled us for good queer content, GayOK Bangkok and Diary of Tootsies are still shows by which i measure what we get now, and both of those are from 2016. I would say that more "mainstream" BL (i.e. by one of the major production companies) hit what turned out to be queer saturation around 2020 and that's where I was most surprised not see a more clear trajectory; rather than things getting more queer from there, I'd say a greater percentage of shows overall feel more queer, but we haven't (and I now suspect won't) reach the queerness we had in Thai tv in 2016. That being said, my secret running list of things I want to see in BL gets shorter every year as entries get crossed off, so I would say the range of queer experience is slowly getting captured as more content continues to be made by a wider range of production houses (PrEP being mentioned in a mainstream show is my white whale).

I know some people assume that shows are higher heat now overall, but I don't think that's true. I do think Thai television producers and directors have overalll gotten better at capturing sensuality, and acting workshops have improved chemistry-building overall too. But from what I can tell the ratio of high head and low heat content is still pretty similar to what it's always been, maybe slightly higher (e.g. at a quick glance I'd guesstimate 30% of shows had a sex scene in 2018 vs 40% in 2023).

Fandom

The main differences in fandom from the really early days and now are the ways we, as international fans, are able to engage with each other, with thai audiences at the same time, and with content creators, and the entitlement that comes with that. In the 2010s we were almost always watching after Thai airing, with either fansubs or, later, official subs, trailing online releases by days or weeks, which themselves may have trailed the Thailand airing date by days or weeks or sometimes even months. That became less true around 2019ish, and especially in 2020 when I think Thai producers were desperate to reach audiences during the start of the pandemic (and when audiences were desperate for something to distract us from what was happening in real life).

As a fan in the mid-late 2010s, watching something was either unofficial via a fansubber, or you were wading through hundreds of Thai comments to find anyone else writing about the shows in English. Now, it's actually rare we don't have immediate international distribution, though it may be paid. If the subs are not up at the same time as the official upload, even on free sites, fans get furious. It's a bit surreal to see people complain about waiting a few hours for subtitles, especially on YouTube, when we sometimes waited months for a series to finish being subbed (not to say people didn't complain back then too, because they sure did! But there were fewer international fans overall, and it wasn't an expectation that there would be subs, so fewer people complained when it happened). This meant that a lot of people only watched shows when they were complete, and people were not watching with any kind of synchronicity.

With international fans moving into simultaneous watching with Thai audiences, we suddenly had the chance to talk about shows as they were airing and affect the conversations about them and even, sometimes, the decisions. Folks seem to have differing opinions about what makes a BL, and what makes a BL good, and they are vocal about when a show doesn't meet their standard. This has always been true, but the strong opinions have more of an effect on the discourse when they're expressed in real-time to the show being aired. Also, when we have literally 3x the number of Thai shows being aired (nevermind other countries which have also increased), it seems so much more egregious to me to complain if a single show doesn't meet your particular taste. Just go watch something else! That was less possible in 2016, but now nobody has any excuse lol Please note here that I'm not saying shows should not be criticized. But when you have one loud faction saying shows should have nothing but innocent kisses if any skinship at all and showing more is distasteful and possibly homophobic, and another faction saying a show should be panned if they don't have at least one sex scene and if there is no good kiss it's homophobic, I don't know where that leaves content creators but I see the tension and how it sometimes results in my least favourite tropes like "blushing maiden" even after a couple has canonically had sex. These factions have always existed in BL fandom, this is not new, they just both seem particularly silly now with so much content to choose from.

The shows that get attention and the shows that get snubbed feel the same too, in all honesty. You can ask yourself the following questions:

Is the show a little slower paced?

Are the story beats less melodramatic?

Do its characters feel more human?

Do they feel more queer?

Is it a comedy?

Is there any risk of an unhappy ending?

Do people not think one of the lead actors is hot?

Do people ship one of the lead actors with someone who isn't his costar?

Do people have to do anything other than go to YouTube to watch it?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and especially to the last one, fewer people will be watching, even if the show is good. That's always been true. [Shows I'm thinking about when I say that: Make it Right, He's Coming to Me, My Ride, You're My Sky, Oxygen (though the sides in this one are also at fault), YYY, Something in my Room, Ghost Host Ghost House, Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul, Cooking Crush.] All this is to say, there have always been shows that have been ignored, though I agree with you OP that with more shows airing, more are being ignored at any given time.

The other thing is that when a show is good, it doesn't necessarily invite discourse. The messes are often what encourage people to dig in, fill in gaps, linger in the adrenaline. The part that does feel different is also related to the increase in genre BLs; genre stuff in general tends to get more attention in fandom spaces, and the way people are functioning as fans feels different in that they're bringing the way they interact with genre content to BL as BL has started having larger and better funded genre content. I'm thinking about those early genre BLs like He She It, My Dream, Love Poison, Golden Blood, So Much In Love, Why R U....we started getting genre shows in BL in I think 2017 and basically had 1-2 a year until 2020ish and then it increased from there; and the ones that had funding and decent distribution got engagement until they started going off the rails, and then they had even more engagement and then fell off. I don't think it's a coincidence that the shows last year that got people to write meta were La Pluie, Be My Favorite, and I Feel You Linger in the Air. When a show is building a world, there's more to say and interrogate about it, and when a genre show fails, it can fail more spectacularly than a regular romance story. The most popular BL shows used to all be straight-up BL bubble romances, but I think genre shows really started to take over a greater percentage of the popular spots in 2022 and 2023. Again, the main difference here is that there used to be 1-2 stand-out shows per year, and now there are closer to 6+ per year, and as we got more stand-out shows the variety of what type of show stood out as popular has expanded. I do think the overall percentage of shows that are more standard romance plots has reduced, partly because Thai production companies are running out of popular y-novels to adapt. So I'm anticipating we'll continue to get more genre content going forward, and maybe a higher percentage of original works too.

Shows I'm Enjoying Right Now

Right now, the Thai shows airing that I'm watching are:

Cooking Crush

Dead Friend Forever

Cherry Magic Thailand

City of Stars

The Sign

Playboyy

PitBabe

7 Days before Valentine

For Him

Of those, I'd currently most recommend Cooking Crush as a generic BL recommendation. Dead Friend Forever is very good, but is not a romance and is difficult for some to watch (there are a lot of dark themes in addition to the gore and scary bits).

Cooking Crush is doing so many things I love. I've written about the way it's set up its major conflict to be amongst the friend group here, and way the show is depicting communication between the two main characters and how they improve their communication with one another as they get closer here. Two of my biggest BL pet peeves are a conflict for the sake of a dramatic penultimate episode that ignores or retcons a character's growth or the building of trust that a couple has already gone through in the series, so the fact that this show is working so hard to establish strong communication between its leads and then setting up the significant drama to actually about friendship rather than romance is something I cannot overstate my excitement about. To tie this back into what I wrote above, this reminds me of Diary of Tootsies and I mean that in the best possible way.

Dead Friend Foreever is, like I mentioned above, not a romance; it's a slasher horror melodrama with a very well established mystery, an ensemble cast of mostly hateable characters (which I admit isn't usually my thing, but since they're likely all going to die as a result of the genre they're in I'm finding that more tolerable than usual, and there is at least one character I like). DFF did a great job of structuring the story for the ultimate payoff of information reveals. There are a lot of shows that have been messing with non-linear storytelling recently, Cooking Crush being one of the ones that actually does this poorly in my opinion, but Dead Friend Forever effectively uses non-linear storytelling so that we find out important pieces of information about particular characters at a time when that information will have the most emotional impact on what is happening in the "present" of the storyline. Every time there is a reveal, it informs what we've already seen, recontextualizes it, and means we understand some of the character motivations and actions differently from when we saw them the first time. I mentioned above that there are dark themes in this show; one of the things that I really like about this show is that the impact of class is not glossed over, and that the consequences of these events feel very real for the characters; people do terrible things in this show, but these actions are not treated lightly by the show itself.

You'd think these two shows would have nothing in common, but there are things that they share that put them both in my top category. Generally, in both of these shows, the character arcs are clear and logical; when a character does something, even if I don't like the action itself, I can understand exactly why they that and can see how it matches where they are in their arc at the time. The shows show change in characters as a result of what they experience, and the relationships in this show really matter. When characters start acting in ways that feel out of character or against their own arc because they have to in order to drive the plot forward, I struggle to remain invested; that's not happening with either of these shows. Both of these shows also treat serious topics with seriousness, and consequences for actions are real and felt by the characters in the show (and if someone gets away with something, the show is clear that this is not just). Nothing has happened that hasn't been signalled or implied earlier. Both shows also have clear class consciousness and represent the disparity caused by classism in a critical/harsh light.

Whew! I think I got to everything you asked. Thanks again for the extremely interesting question!

#ask game #bl meta #long post #typed so that I can stop thinking it #fandom meta #multi bl #thank you for the ask!

140 notes · View notes

heavens-moonlight · 3 months

Text

𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 | 𝟬𝟮 : 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗨𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗟𝗬 𝗘𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧

𝟬𝟭 : 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗗𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘 | 𝟬𝟯 : 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦

Author’s Note: Well, here we go...The game has finally started but who will survive? As always, let me know your thoughts and all comments are greatly appreciated! ♡

The dorms are much more spacious than anticipated as Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won beeline for the sole coffee table in the middle of the room, occupying either side. You instead, opt to unceremoniously plop yourself down onto one of the sizeable bunk beds, plugging your phone in to charge, having depleted the power source earlier on the bus ride over.

With a familiar chime, the battery icon flashes, but you do a double take as you realize the bar has gone back up to more than 50%. "That's strange..." you whisper more to yourself than anyone, but Yoon-Seo hears you.

"What is?"

You flip over onto your stomach and turn your phone screen toward her. "Look." You point to the upper right corner, forefinger tapping at the yellow bar, lightning symbol on display. "I'm sure it was at 26% earlier but all of a sudden it's paused at nearly double what it was previously."

"Maybe you mixed up the percentages?" Yoon-Seo suggests.

"I don't think so..." You scratch your head in confusion as Yoon-Seo shrugs, neither of you having a clue in the slightest.

"Electronics are good when they work," Jung-Won says, padding over to the chair by your head where Yoon-Seo left her backpack. You place the phone face-down on the nightstand and see her slip a small gift box inside the unzipped bag, making a shushing motion with her pointer finger against her lips. Smiling, you mimic the locking of a key and throw it away behind you, keeping Yoon-Seo's birthday surprise between the two of you. "Ugh, I need to take a coding lecture but my laptop's failing to connect to the internet."

Yoon-Seo scoots her back against the side railing of your bed and crosses her arms, tsking at Jung-Won. "You keep badgering me nonstop for reading, but who else except you would willingly study during a school trip?" Yoon-Seo shakes her head. "Stop acting like the top of the class, Madame Mensa."

Jung-Won doesn't look up from her laptop screen, monotonously correcting the nickname. "Mensa is the name of the organization. You're supposed to say Mensan for the people. How many times do I have to tell you?"

You laugh at the habitual repartee between them, but get cut off by a ding signaling an incoming notification. Peering over Yoon-Seo's shoulder, you eye as an app materializes on her home screen, one you don't recognize nor have you ever seen it in the default bundle all phones come with.

"Jung-Won, what's this? I said I don't need it."

"It's really not me. I haven't touched your phone at all."

Curious, you grab your own phone and glance down at it, the same little round-edged square making its appearance. "Yoon-Seo, I have it too. Neither of us downloaded it or scanned the QR code when we arrived."

[ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇɢɪɴ sʜᴏʀᴛʟʏ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀssɪɢɴᴇᴅ ᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ]

"Mafia game?" As you touch the screen, an envelope unfurls following animation. "Wasn't this what they were playing earlier on the bus?"

"Yeah..." Yoon-Seo confirms distractedly, verifying her own occupation. "I guess I'm a civilian, not that I expected to be anything else. How about you guys?"

"I'm also a civilian."

[ ʜᴀɴ sᴇᴏʟ-ʜᴡᴀ ɴɪᴍ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴏʟᴇ ɪs ᴀ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ. ]

"Me too," you fib, hoping that it wouldn't be questioned. You weren't a very good liar to begin with and hoped this would pass. Maybe there would be a reward for winning the game, but either way, at least you knew your closest friends were on the same side as you.

Still, for some odd reason, it didn't seem fit for you to reveal your real character. Being a doctor seemed too important of a role to just go around telling everyone willy-nilly. The three of you rarely kept secrets from one another, and so you trusted that a white lie for the game this one time could be forgiven.

Before any of you can discuss the odd happenings of the unexpected game further, paragraphs pop up in successive order, outlining the standard rules:

𝟣) ᴀʟʟ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀɴᴛs ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛʟʏ ᴀssɪɢɴᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴄɪᴛɪᴢᴇɴ, ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ, ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ᴏғғɪᴄᴇʀ, ᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴄᴀɴ ᴘʀᴇᴠᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxᴇᴄᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴀɴʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴇᴇ ғɪᴛ, ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴғɪʀᴍ ᴀ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ's ɪᴅᴇɴᴛɪᴛʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄʜᴏᴏsɪɴɢ.

𝟤) ғʀᴏᴍ ᴇɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀʟʟ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴇs ᴡɪʟʟ ᴅɪsǫᴜᴀʟɪғʏ sᴜsᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴠ��ᴛɪɴɢ.

𝟥) ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏᴄᴋ sᴛʀɪᴋᴇs ᴛᴡᴇʟᴠᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ ᴠᴏᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀɪᴛʏ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴇxᴇᴄᴜᴛᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ʀᴇᴠᴇᴀʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀɴᴛs.

𝟦) ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴠᴏᴛɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴏsᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴᴅᴇᴍɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴇᴄᴜᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ sʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴀsɪᴅᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ.

𝟧) ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ɪs ɪɴ sʟᴜᴍʙᴇʀ, ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴇxᴇᴄᴜᴛᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴅᴀᴡɴ.

𝟨) ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɪɴ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴄɪᴠɪʟɪᴀɴ, ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴄɪᴠɪʟɪᴀɴs ᴏʀ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ᴏᴠᴇʀʀᴜɴs ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ, ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴɴᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ.

[ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀs ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇɢɪɴ ᴄᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴏᴛᴇs. ]

You're still trying to wrap your head around the summarized instructions, sensing that there was much more to the game than meets the eye. Why was there no outlining of the individual tasks required for those with specialized occupations? How many of you were assigned to each role? What happens after execution?

Jung-Won's voice interrupts your thoughts, the thread of worries pausing in its unending tangling inside your mind. "If you push a name, a vote gets cast apparently."

"You elected someone already...?" It was quite obvious how much Eun-Ha pushed for Yool determinedly in the group chat, and reluctantly, you and Yoon-Seo follow suit, knowing full-well Yool's obsession with the game and his caliber for winning streaks.

Pensively, you start scrolling through the partakers' list, seeing your classmates' yearbook photos, including your own. Being the overthinker that you are, your mind starts spinning with all of the possibilities on how this game could end, but you had no clue why it even began in the first place. The awareness of budding anxiousness courses through you as a slight breeze from the window sends goosebumps raising on your arms at the late revelation. "But guys...why does this app have our identifiers?"

Yoon-Seo turns to you, eyebrows knit together in agreement. "Right. We didn't even sign up earlier. Who granted them access to gather this protected information?"

Jung-Won bites at her nails, eyes shifting back and forth across her phone screen, the glare of its light reflecting off her glasses. "The internet isn't working either. How are we able to play the game anyway?"

Silence encases the vicinity around your trio, no one knowing what to say to the other, all questions remaining unvoiced and unanswered.

"Why don't we go back down to the lobby and see if there's anyone we can ask?" you propose, Jung-Won and Yoon-Seo readily assenting.

The reception desk as you head downstairs is as empty as it was the moment you came in, maybe even more so as reticence settles over the expansive building, the sky having gone ominously dark from a single look out the glass doors of the entrance.

"Our teacher hasn't come back yet? He left so long ago..." Yoon-Seo walks around the reception desk, circling for any clues. "Nothing could've happened, right?"

"What if he got into an accident?" Jung-Won states bluntly, drumming her fingers against the marble countertop.

"Yah, don't say it like that..." you warn. "Words can be dangerous. You don't know what it can subject someone to."

Before Jung-Won can list more outrageous possibilities, Jun-Hee sidles up on the opposite side of the counter where you're spinning back and forth in the chair slowly, lost in thought.

"Hey Jun-Hee, do you know when Seonsaengnim will be back?" Yoon-Seo directs at him while she flips through the binder of contacts placed beside you. "These numbers aren't what we need at all. They're just for the retreat center's use like maintenance and all that."

Jun-Hee shakes his head. "I can't reach him." He pulls out his phone, only to sigh and slip it back inside his pocket. "Are any of your guys' devices working?"

"We don't even have service." You look around once more, surveying areas within your eyesight in case any adults would spontaneously reappear. "Shouldn't there be at least one staff member or at the very least a security guard on patrol at night?"

"I guess they all went with our teacher." Jun-Hee walks up next to you and settles down on the counter to your left.

You raise an eyebrow. "Every single one of them? They didn't think to have anybody stay behind as a chaperone?"

"Well, when you put it that way..." Jun-Hee begins. "It does seem a little unnecessary for all of them to up and leave."

"Then, what do we do now? How long do we wait?" Jung-Won stares at the clock ticking away. "It's barely nine o'clock. Surely, it wouldn't take him twice as long to pick up the others and return here, right?"

"There must be a phone in the staff lounge," Yoon-Seo stops her rummaging around under the desk long enough to say. "Jung-Won, let's go and search there."

"You're leaving me here alone?"

"Not alone," Yoon-Seo waggles her eyebrows so only you can see. "With Jun-Hee, of course."

Jung-Won conceals her smile behind her hand not so discreetly and begins to drag Yoon-Seo away. As they pass, Yoon-Seo pats Jun-Hee on the shoulder and cautions him. "If she gets lost, you'll be in big trouble."

He turns to her. "You've known me since we were babies, who do you take me for?"

Yoon-Seo merely ignores him and follows Jung-Won upstairs happily, an extra spring in her step, making it known how proud she was of herself. Rolling your eyes unnoticeably at their less than subtle tactics, you could only hope they were actually going to find a phone and not saying that purely for reasons of ulterior motives.

The hush after is stifling without the buffer of Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won. Jun-Hee is staring straight at you, hands bracing the counter on either side of him waiting for you to say something, but you're staring down at the floor, purposefully refusing to make eye contact.

"Are you mad at me?"

That was the last thing you expected him to say. "Of course not." You look up at him briefly, but what a mistake that was. With you lowered in the chair and him sitting up on the raised desk, your eyes meet his lips first and your mind automatically reels back to the kiss on the bus. Darting your eyes back to your lap immediately after draws out a weary sigh from Jun-Hee.

"Even now you can't look straight at me. At least tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it." When you're thinking of what to reply with, Jun-Hee grabs the chair's armrests by your sides and pulls you in closer, leaning his head down so that his form towers over yours. With nowhere else to look now, you're forced to gaze upward and the expression on his face has your stomach tightening in knots, guilty. "Now you're finally looking at me." A beat passes before Jun-Hee's eyes become downturn. "I'm sorry."

Your gaze softens as you glance into his dark brown eyes, seeing your own image in his irises. "I'm the one that should be sorry." You place your hands that were settled in your lap onto his forearms, and he instantly gazes down at the contact before looking back to you, his attention unwavering. "Don't ever apologize to me when you didn't do anything wrong, Jun-Hee."

His eyes dart back and forth between your own, questioning. "Then why have you been avoiding me? Did something happen while I was sleeping earlier on the bus? If there is or I made you uncomfortable in any way—"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," you're quick to salvage the situation and dismiss the notion entirely, even though he couldn't have been more spot on. He had always been an observant person. This you knew too well.

I didn't want you to find out my feelings for you and lose you as a friend all in one.

Instead of the full truth, you tell him only half of it. "I didn't want you to find out how tired I felt and have you worrying over me. I know you're the class president with greater, more important responsibilities, but I also know, above anyone else, that I can't burden you with my troubles just because I'm your friend."

"Seol-Hwa, even then, you could've told me." His hands move to rest on your shoulders. "You'll always be my top priority." In a much quieter voice he says, "And I'll always worry about you."

"Jun-Hee..."

He looks you dead in the eyes, expression open and filled with warmth. "I don't like when you're sad. You look the prettiest when you smile." You don't even get a chance to get a word in before Jun-Hee plows on, turning his head away slightly. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was abashed to be saying the things he did. "In the gymnasium earlier, you were laughing so carefree with Yoon-Seo. It's been a while since I've seen you like that with me. I can only be happy if you're happy..." He's almost sulking, his countenance like that of a kicked puppy.

You laugh genuinely, your head hitting the back of the chair. "Kim Jun-Hee, are you jealous of my friendship with Yoon-Seo right now?"

"I got you to smile this time!" He grins back brightly at you and the two of you sit there looking at one another, neither grin dropping. The soft exhalation of his laughter trickles into your ears once again, Jun-Hee being so content with having you in his presence, and you bask in how happy the sound makes you. Any previously existing tension disintegrates in an instant, and oddly enough, you feel closer to him than ever.

The moment gets cut short when a text from the app's group chat comes in, a start contrast to the discussion earlier, votes having already pooled in for Heo Yool.

[ 💬 sᴏ-ᴍɪ: ʟᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴏɴ-sᴇᴏ, ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʟ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴɴᴇx. ɪᴛ's ᴜʀɢᴇɴᴛ. ]

The oddly specific and demanding tone of the message irked you to no end. "What is this about?" Never once have you seen So-Mi try to interact with your friend group voluntarily.

Jun-Hee waves his hand dismissively. "For the event tomorrow, we're interviewing everyone about the trip and the general experience."

"Even in this situation?" you ask incredulously.

Jun-Hee chuckles. "You know how So-Mi is." His eyebrows lift pointedly.

You pat his thigh accidentally, having missed his knee entirely and feel the muscles tense beneath your hand although he doesn't move away. "Don't you find it odd?"

Jun-Hee tilts his head, equal parts confused and curious. "About...?"

"Everything." You gesture around. "The lost signal, the disappearance of supposedly responsible adults, this automatically installed app that has our personal data, and the mafia game we're all in even though we didn't choose to play?"

Jun-Hee mulls it over for a second. "I honestly have no idea what's going on." He ruffles your head affectionately. "But don't worry so much. I'm certain once morning comes, everything will be alright."

"I sure hope so."

Your conversation quietens as heavy footsteps pad across the glossed floors and you squint to see the figure in the distance.

"Joo-Won?"

Jun-Hee turns around at your discovery and notices your classmate's bloody nose, a spark of recognition flashing across his eyes. "Where are you going?"

Joo-Won looks from Jun-Hee to you, and back again nervously, seemingly deciding whether he should say something or not. "W-Well, the guys wanted to see me for a second. So..." he stammers out.

You frown, knowing of the relentless bullying Kyung-Jun's group puts him and Da-Bum through.

"Wait there," Jun-Hee directs, hopping off the desk, and Ju-Won picks at his fingers, clearly on edge at the impending encounter.

"Be careful," you add in as an afterthought before he can leave.

"I will, now that I have you fretting over me." Jun-Hee smirks cheekily.

"I'm being serious, Jun-Hee." You fix him with a stern but caring gaze. "Try to be less confrontational. It won't be good for you or Ju-Won to get on Kyung-Jun's bad side."

He nods, understanding. "I'll try my best." Waving, he begins to lead Ju-Won away, the latter shuffling after with his head down pitifully. "I'll see you soon. Don't go anywhere where I can't reach you!" Your eyes trail after their distancing forms, agitatedly until you can no longer hear their footsteps echoing down the hall.

Not even a full minute has gone by before Yoon-Seo and Jong-Won show up again, trudging down the same stairs they climbed up less than an hour ago. Judging by their walk and the look on their faces, their search must've proved unsuccessful.

"Nothing came up?" You fall into place with the two as your all make way toward the pool.

"The phone lines..." Yoon-Seo begins, dishearteningly. "None of them worked. Every single ring had us fooled."

You stare at her in shock. "But—"

"We tried contacting 119 and even picking up incoming calls immediately, but no one answered." Jung-Won hangs her head despondently.

"This trip is starting to take a very wrong turn..." you hypothesize out loud. You don't even get to explain to Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won your reasoning before Na-Hee comes by, skipping over joyfully, oblivious on how to read the room.

"You all came." Na-Hee grabs your hand and Jung-Won's in each of her own, motioning with her head toward Yoon-Seo to enter. "Yoon-Seo, you should head inside." Without questioning it, Yoon-Seo does as she's told.

You slip your hand out of Na-Hee's nippily, and her smile wanes faintly, somewhat hurt. Hyun-Ho had confided in you that he liked her, but given what you knew about Na-Hee, you weren't fond of the idea. Not wanting to disappoint him, you don't say anything when he brings her up, but the things she has been a bystander for following in So-Mi's schemes never sat right with you. Silently, you hope that one day Na-Hee would come to her senses for Hyun-Ho's sake, but you've been proven wrong time and time again.

"Are these solo interviews or what?" you inquire curtly.

"They want to record Yoon-Seo first. You can come in a bit later."

"Can't be that special of footage." Jung-Won pulls you by the elbow, sidestepping Na-Hee and pushing the doors open of her own volition.

You're met with So-Mi, Ji-Soo, Yu-Jun, and Woo-Ram, all crowding around Yoon-Seo and singing her happy birthday with a makeshift cake comprised of stacked choco-pies.

So-Mi steps forward, offering Yoon-Seo the sweets and urging her to blow out a single measly candle that wasn't even lit beforehand.

"Since when have you done stuff like this? You barely give her the time of day." Jung-Won eyes So-Mi suspiciously, voicing your same exact thoughts.

Yoon-Seo is way too nice, proceeding to thank So-Mi. You, on the other hand, didn't buy into the latter's nice girl act whatsoever, and clearly, neither did Jung-Won.

So-Mi shoots Yoon-Seo a saccharine smile. "Don't mention it. We should celebrate since we're friends." The word doesn't roll off her tongue easily, openly not a genuine desire. "We brought a present too." You narrow your eyes at the group as they're trying to hide their shrewd smiles, albeit unsuccessfully. "Let's start with a birthday beating and plunge!"

Instantaneously, you try to drag Yu-Jun, leaving Jung-Won to fend off Woo-Ram, away from Yoon-Seo with no luck. More force would just topple all three of them straight into the water. You didn't particularly care if the boys fell to the very bottom depths of the pool, but Yoon-Seo shouldn't get soaked, no less on the night of her birthday. She didn't deserve this horrible of a treatment for simply being too trusting, genuinely wanting to see good in everyone with no ounce of judgment or malice.

So-Mi guffaws hysterically in the background, bent over clutching her stomach like the sight is the funniest thing she's ever witnessed. "Put her down," she orders in between giggles, wiping away a tear from her eye. "She's about to cry." Standing akimbo, she bites back her sneer, turning to the rest. "We went too far, didn't we?"

"You think?!" Jung-Won rounds on her, eyes blazing with anger.

You haul Yoon-Seo back up to her feet as the boys scatter, high-fiving. As she stands up again after you've barely let go of her hands, So-Mi swiftly shoves her over backwards, sending her diving into the water with a loud splash, droplets flying every which way.

"Are you crazy? How could you do that?!" Jung-Won kneels next to you by the edge of the pool, watching as Yoon-Seo resurfaces.

"You ok?" You reach out a hand to her, close enough that she can grip your fingertips.

"Yeah, I will be."

You breathe a sigh of reprieve, but it's rather short-lived when Yoon-Seo starts kicking madly underwater, her arms and legs flailing before she sinks beneath, no longer visible.

"Yoon-Seo!" you shout, but hear no response.

"What a funny 'prank' to you guys, huh?" Jung-Won yells crossly at So-Mi's group, everyone standing shell-shocked. How they have the conscience to even feel the tiniest bit of remorse is beyond your understanding.

The group tries to urge Woo-Ram to go in, but in hindsight, being on the receiving end of the prank didn't seem so appealing anymore.

Livid, you turn around to heave So-Mi backwards and she goes tumbling to the ground, the silver platter she was holding in one hand clattering and smashing cake crumbs all over her. For whatever reason, Ji-Soo is still recording, but you could care less about the captured situation. "Be glad it's not the pool I pushed you into." She's stunned enough that she can't find it in her to form words.

Na-Hee opens her mouth, outwardly wanting to apologize, but swallows the excuses when you glare at her in turn. "I was right about you all along. You'll never change."

You kick your shoes off and jump in after Yoon-Seo without hesitation, Jung-Won screaming for you in the background. Thankfully, Yoon-Seo is still conscious, but scarcely, and you manage to guide her toward the rungs of the poolside ladder. Jung-Won yanks Yoon-Seo up and over the edge, throwing a hand down to you.

"Yoon-Seo lost her shoes. I saw them earlier but couldn't reach them, so let me retrieve them too."

Jung-Won looks into the chasmic pool apprehensively, more concerned after what happened, but nods in acknowledgment, going back to propping Yoon-Seo up. "Come back quickly, Seol-Hwa."

Everyone is huddling around Yoon-Seo while you plunge back under, holding your breath comfortably as you grab her sneakers. Right as you're swimming on the path of return, something cold clamps onto your leg, refusing to let go. The vice-like grip tightens, pulling you downward to drown in darkness. No matter how hard you kick, you can't resurface due to the invisible power.

"Seol-Hwa!" Jung-Won calls out to you, frightened. "I'm going to get help, hang on!"

The last thing you see are spindly, mottled, black fingers, color washed out grey in the lighting; something sinister and otherworldly. As it curls tighter around your ankle, so too does your chest constrict, the coldness of the touch seeping into your bones and you find the sense of prior trepidation returning in full force before everything sinks into oblivion.

Lungs burning and head throbbing, you open your eyes groggily, the pristine white walls of the infirmary slowly coming into focus. In the bed next to yours, Yoon-Seo is still asleep.

The digits on your left hand are numb, and you look over to see Jun-Hee gripping it like a lifeline, head resting atop his arm by your knees. Your body protests as you turn on your side, muscles stiff, trying to draw your hand free. Reaching out, you card your fingers tenderly through his hair, the ends still yet to dry. Did he jump in?

After a while, he wakes up with a start, eyes flickering to your face. A shaky sigh of relief escapes him seeing the tiniest of smiles from you, any prior sense of unrest vanishing.

"Are you in pain at all?" He cradles the back of your head, helping you sit up as you dangle your legs over the bed's edge, seated knee to knee with him.

"How long have you been here with me?" You sweep the fallen fringe away to the outlines of his face, fingers lingering against his forehead. "You should've gotten changed at least." Your hand falls back to your lap when you can see his eyes better, unshielded. "You'll grow sick at this rate, Jun-Hee."

"Says the one I'm stressing over."

"I'm fine now," you assure.

"Why didn't you wake me up as soon as you came to? Do you know how terrified I was?" His brows are furrowed in concern still, and you lift your hand again to smooth the crease lines away.

"But you rescued me," you speak quietly.

"I thought you were dying in front of me and that I wouldn't be able to save you in time. I can't lose you; do you know that?" His hand comes up to cup your face delicately, barely daring to touch it wholly, almost afraid you would disappear if he did. "You're someone I can absolutely cannot let go of." You don't realize you're crying until Jun-Hee runs his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the twin trails of tears. You're not usually one to cry, but in this moment, you were overcome with emotions. "Why are you crying?"

"I was worried. Not for me, but for you." His hands are shaking where they're pressed against your face. You put your hand over his, expecting him to pull away at your next words. "I know you like to avoid the water as much as you can after..." you trail off, teardrops still falling. "You willingly jumped in to save me when I know how deep-seated your fear runs."

He smiles sadly at you. "I found out that the care I have for you outweighs any of my existing fears." His hands have stopped shaking and you drag them down, yours coming along with it to hold them together. "I told you earlier to not go someplace where I can't reach you but after this, I'm willing to follow you to the ends of the earth. Even in death, as long as it's with you, I wouldn't mind the thought."

Your heart stutters in your chest at the sincerity of his words, and you know that your feelings for him would never fade. Not in this lifetime. "Jun-Hee..."

"Seol-Hwa? Jun-Hee?" Yoon-Seo's trembling voice has the both of you looking in her direction, but Jun-Hee is yet to release your hand.

"Yoon-Seo..." you reply, eased now that she's awoken. "How are you feeling?"

"I can't recall what happened at all." She holds her head, staring blankly ahead. "But somehow, I find I'd rather not remember." Yoon-Seo moves over to sit on your cot, back-to-back with you. The warmth radiating from her is welcoming. "Seol-Hwa, thanks for always being there. You're a good person through and through."

"Tell that to yourself." You smile and lean your head back against hers. "What are friends for?"

"Saving one another's lives now apparently," Jun-Hee jokes, lightening the atmosphere.

"Then I owe you one," Yoon-Seo continues. "I'll be your Superwoman next time."

"You and Jun-Hee really are like one another. What did you both do together when you were babies to make you fearless like this?" you question, exasperatedly fond. "Readily giving up your life for another person?"

"Only because we know you'd do the same. That kind of sincerity comes once in a lifetime."

The door creaks open just as Yoon-Seo ends her sentence, So-Mi's group filing in self-consciously, Jung-Won leading them in with her arms crossed.

"Apologize," Jun-Hee states emotionlessly. "Right now," he emphasizes, leaving no room for argument. "Pranks are supposed to be harmless, not harmful."

So-Mi grimaces at his harsh tone. "I'm sorry," she's quick to apologize. "Seol-Hwa."

She's not looking directly at you but past to the side of you, gaze straying to your hand in Jun-Hee's where he's absentmindedly rubbing circles with his thumb into your palm, not aware of his own actions. One corner of So-Mi's lip twitches, but aside from that, she doesn't comment on it. If the others have noticed, they don't say anything either.

"I'm not the one this should be reserved for."

You see her bite her tongue, annoyed at having to repeat herself once again, but not yet dropping her fake performance. Plastering on the most pitiful puppy eyes she can conjure up, she shifts her attention to Yoon-Seo, still pale. "I do feel guilty. We truly just wanted to wish you a happy birthday." So-Mi forces the waterworks on, squeezing one teardrop out at a time.

"I don't think I've ever been pushed into a pool as a birthday present before," Jung-Won mutters not so quietly under her breath.

Yoon-Seo elbows her subtly. "It's okay. Don't cry, So-Mi."

You and Jung-Won both whip your heads toward Yoon-Seo, in pure disbelief. Neither of you would've accepted that half-baked, insincere apology.

"Really?" So-Mi's eyes widen on cue, as if she didn't expect Yoon-Seo to be so pardoning. "Will you forgive us?"

"Of course, I accept. I'm alright now, so let's just put it in the past."

Jung-Won doesn't attempt to hide her distaste as she groans aloud. "Yep, totally fine. You just almost went and saw King Sejong is all."

"That's enough," Yoon-Seo whisper-yells.

"Alright, everyone out," Joon-Hee cuts in, feeling the tension in the room. "We'll all talk later."

So-Mi is the first to leave, unmistakably irritated and shamed at the same time. No matter how hard she tries to mask it, you see right through her well-crafted persona. Na-Hee lingers, the last one to exit. Before the door slams shut, she catches your eye, but in finding a look of indifference staring back at her, she turns away without saying a word, the light from the hallway dimming once more.

"That wench spilled crocodile tears."

"Jung-Won ah," Yoon-Seo expresses tiredly. "She said she was sorry."

"I don't care. It wasn't genuine. She acts up because you're the only one that gives way to her."

Yoon-Seo gets up to drag Jung-Won away and out into the hall as the latter begins to raise her voice. Their conversation lowers, but you can hear the last bit of it as they step outside.

"What would you like me to do then?"

"You don't have to do anything," Jung-Won reasons. "I'm only saying I don't tolerate her or her victim mentality, and neither should you."

"Shouldn't we head out too?" You turn to Jun-Hee.

He shakes his head lightly. "Stay and rest a bit more."

"I really am fine." You give his hand a squeeze in affirmation. Despite saying so, you continue to shiver in only your thin white button-up still damp in random patches from being submerged earlier.

Jun-Hee opens the backpack by his feet and tugs out his uniform cardigan, wrapping it around your shoulders. "Here, put this on. You're still cold to the touch."

"Then what about you? Sitting in wet clothes isn't comfortable."

"I have extras I brought with me." Jun-Hee's name tag still pinned to the sweater falls into his line of vision and he can't help smiling to himself that you haven't noticed it's positioned right over your heart. "Plus, it looks better on you anyway."

"It what?" You lean forward, tilting your ear in his direction, not sure if you heard correctly or if they were still water-logged.

"Nothing," Jun-Hee evades, suppressing his smile. It seemed too far-fetched a thing for him to say in either circumstance, so you leave it be, not wanting to wander down the winding paths of your own thoughts. He crouches down and draws the heel of your socked foot to rest on his knee, his free hand untying the laces of your shoes placed to the side.

"I can do it myself," you tell him, flustered from all the attention you were receiving.

Without looking up, Jun-Hee proceeds to put your sneakers on your feet. "I know you can." He goes so far as to knot them tight, tying bows on both sides. "But I want to do it for you." His fingers reach out to trace the shoelaces all the way to the ends of the aglets, remembrance in his eyes.

Embarrassed, you put your feet back on the ground but he looks up at you, eyes twinkling with mischief. "You kept them."

"Of course, I did." You gaze down at your shoes. "You gave them to me."

His own white sneakers come into view, and you wonder why you never noticed his laces, dyed in your favorite color, and yours in his own. "So did I. I didn't think you would."

"Why not?" You toe his shoes with yours. "Just because we made them during summer camp a few years back? A gift is a gift," you reply, nearly pouting.

He laughs at the faux cross tone of your voice, but as his eyes trail upward, the sound chokes and dies off at the end. "Uh...your shirt's now see-through..." He coughs awkwardly and stands up, looking away, a slight tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. "I'll see you out there." Jun-Hee picks up his backpack, hurriedly slinging it over one shoulder before turning to look back at you once more before leaving.

Only a short bit of time has passed, but the moment you step back out with Jun-Hee's cardigan on, you slam straight into Hyun-Ho. He steadies you by the upper arms, eyes widening upon seeing you. "Seol-Hwa!" Before you can react, he throws his arms around you and gives you the most suffocating of hugs, larger form squeezing you tight as his arms encase you, rocking back and forth.

"Hyun-Ho. Can't. Breathe." Your voice comes out punctuated, every pause a ragged intake of air.

He lets go soon after, yanking your head every which way to assess for any injuries.

"Ouch!" you exclaim. Hyun-Ho doesn't know how to control his strength so every pat comes out more like slaps. "Alright!" You try to push his hands away but they're hell bent on checking your well-being. "Ok! That's enough!" You say with finality, laughter bubbling up as your cousin continues to shake you around like a rag-doll. "Yah! If I didn't have any bruises, I sure do now!"

Hyun-Ho steps back, chiding. "Where's the thank you, huh?"

"For giving me new injuries?"

"Is that how you repay me?" Hyun-Ho scoffs. "I was the one who found you in the pool first."

"Y-You were?!" You splutter. "How come no one told me?"

"I said I found you. I wasn't the one who saved you." He shrugs like it was common knowledge.

"Aish." You shove his shoulder but he stands his ground, not budging an inch. "And you're thick-skinned enough to request a word of thanks?"

"Obviously." He flicks you on the forehead, drawing a scowl from you. "I went and got Jun-Hee for you."

"Ok, and...?" You're more baffled than ever.

"Geez, this ungrateful brat." Hyun-Ho tries but fails to hide his smirk. "Who do you think handed you over so you could be carried by Jun-Hee all the way to the infirmary?"

"What?!"

"You looked more comfortable in his arms than on my back, but really, it was no big deal." He shrugs. "All in a day's work for me."

"You—" you point a finger at him, gawking and at a loss for words.

"Also, nice change of outfit by the way." He raps his forefinger on Jun-Hee's nameplate, nails clacking on the piece of plastic. "I know it's your favorite brand."

You gasp as you finally notice, immediately unpinning the white rectangle and slipping it in your skirt pocket. "I'm going to kill him," you mutter under your breath.

"Why not kiss him instead?" Hyun-Ho jests, knowing well enough by now to evade your incessant slaps to his back, running down the hallway as you give chase after.

The two of you come to a stop when the rest of your classmates congregate from the other end of the hallway where Jun-Hee and So-Mi were making an announcement about retiring for the night and trying to contact the teacher again tomorrow morning.

Yoon-Seo taps your shoulder from behind and tilts her phone screen toward you where a timer has popped up.

Before anyone can so much as take a step toward their rooms, the intercom comes to life.

[ ᴠᴏᴛɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴅs ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ. ]

With everything that has happened since you got here, the mafia game had slipped from your mind.

Suddenly, Yoon-Seo's meter starts counting down from 59 seconds, and with the ding comes a renewed sense of excitement from everyone around you, sleep long forgotten.

While Yool and his friends incessantly chatter away, trying to place blame on one another in good fun, you're the exception. Questioning the origins of the game, you feel a sense of foreboding, an ill-omened current in the air. You were known among your friends to have good instincts, but you hope against all hope that this time, your intuition wouldn't be true.

Jun-Hee walks over beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder that makes you jump out of your skin. "Seol-Hwa...? Did you hear anything I said?"

Hands trembling, you grip onto the rolled-up sleeve cuff of his shirt. "I...don't think we should've voted."

You eye the shaking numbers on Jun-Hee's phone screen, growing shades redder by the minute as it nears zero. He doesn't get a chance to reply as successive announcements come in.

[ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴀs ᴄᴏɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇᴅ. ʜᴇᴏ ʏᴏᴏʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴠᴏᴛᴇs ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴇxᴇᴄᴜᴛᴇᴅ. ]

Seconds later, Yool lets out a guttural scream of agony, clutching the side of his head.

"Oi, look at this kid. Gosh, he's just begging for attention again," Eun-Ha utters with clarity, unfazed by Yool's prankster tendencies. While everyone laughs at her statement and his actions, you study his face contorted in pain, veins popping up in his neck.

That kind of intensity isn't for show.

"Jun-Hee...Something's not right," you undertone tremulously, fingers slackening from the grip you had on him. The moment those words leave your lips, Yool falls to the ground, slumped over.

As his friends crowd around, Jun-Hee is rooted to the spot, intertwining your hand with his, holding on tight. You can tell he wants to go help as well, but he keeps throwing glances down at you and ultimately decides against it.

A sickening cracking sound has you sliding your eyes slowly over to see Yool's neck snapping rearward, the rest of his body contorting into a standing position in descending parts. Like a puppet controlled on a string, his limbs bend in odd angles, much more grotesque and inhumane compared to his earlier stint in the gymnasium. As his head straightens again, screams ring out down the length of the hallway.

You press yourself against the wall, finding it hard to breathe as you look directly into Yool's rolled eyes, now completely white, no irises in sight.

The White Butterfly's Murder.

You knew. You knew that butterflies were often seen in the spring as a divination of death, a harbinger of impending demise if it were to encircle someone while in flight. But to have it be white, the color of innocence yet also the color of surrender, you can't help but to wonder if these were all signs you should've heeded. Would we still have ended up here?

Eyes are windows to the soul, they say. Here, you realize, now stands a soulless individual.

Eun-Chan and Yeon-Woo have both fallen to the floor in a heap, staring up at their now unrecognizable friend with nothing but absolute fear in their expressions.

A mindless Yool throws himself side to side, intentionally crashing his head against pictures framed on the wall, glass shattering into a million pieces and raining the floor with shards akin to glitter.

But not all that glitters is gold.

You can't tell if it's the glass reflecting light, or if your tears are distorting your vision, but the scene hazes and blurs, turning into the illusion of a haunted nightmare you so desperately want to wake up from.

The horrific effect doesn't end there as Yool proceeds to crouch down and thump his head repeatedly against the floor, prostrating himself as if he's paying for sins he doesn't even remember; sins he can't even begin to atone for.

Blood is pouring in rivulets down his face, pooling around him like the expanding rings of a target, leaving only the center for his body to stay dead centered.

A broken sound escapes from your lips and Jun-Hee pulls you into his arms, shielding you against him, screening your eyes from having to look any further. Where your ear is pressed against his chest, you can hear the pounding of his heart, but even that sound alone is not enough to drown out that of Yool's head bashing against linoleum.

You squeeze your eyes tight, hard enough until you see spots, but these faint flickers of light are not lucky stars you can wish upon tonight.

If you could, you'd wish to be able to wake up. To start again from the beginning.

But you can't.

Rather, frozen in this cruel reality, you can only escape once you cease to wake up again.

And Yool does just that.

A thousand footsteps running toward a bitter end.

A crash as hope falls apart.

A thud to cease the beating of a heart.

And then...complete silence.

Before you lose consciousness, you feel that same vice-like grip from the pool return in full force, unbreakable chains around your heart.

This time, you're not sure anyone will come to your rescue.

This time, you don't know if you'll make it out alive.

𝟬𝟭 : 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗗𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘 | 𝟬𝟯 : 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦

© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨, 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.

86 notes · View notes

snowe-zolynn-rogers · 1 month

Text

Pairings: None

Word Count: 2,238 Words

Summary: Ruin accidentally reveals a means to the exact person he shouldn't have.

Warnings: Overworking, Sleep Deprivation, Passing Out, Grief/Mourning, Fluff, Angst, Magic, Stabbing, Injury, Blood (oil), Crying, Touch Starvation, let me know if I should add anything else.

To Give And To Take Back

"I can't figure it out…" Moon finally admitted as he stared at the data.

"I told you." Ruin told him.

"Please… Shut up." Moon sighed as he looked at his battery percentage that had drained to two percent over these last seventeen days. He hadn't bothered sleeping or charging since Solar died, didn't want to be offline for that long when he could be finding a way to reverse this.

Moon sighed and paged Eclipse to come help, to which the annoying orange and black bot showed up to a good two minutes later of Moon basically sitting on fumes of his charge.

"What?" Eclipse asked.

"I'm under two percent, get me to a charger, please." Moon asked him and Eclipse sighed but plucked Moon up easily as the blue bot passed out against his shoulder.

"God, ya didn't have to go deadweight on me!" Eclipse growled, hauling Moon up closer to keep him from just flopping onto the floor and sighing as he readjusted his hands to carry Moon's body like a damsel.

"Still bothering to help them, are you?" Ruin asked.

"What the fuck does it matter to you?" Eclipse growled.

"Such a finicky bot. I knew you'd be a problem from the moment I made you." Ruin gave a simulated sigh of disappointment.

"I wish they'd have let me kill you." Eclipse snapped.

"Oh? Feelings now? You're getting those? I wonder, feelings for the one who put a bomb in your head stressing himself like this or are you sad as well that Solar is never coming back?" Ruin asked.

"It doesn't matter!" Eclipse defensively growled.

"I think you're grieving." Ruin gave a simulated chuckle.

"Like hell." Eclipse shot back.

"You're not denying it, Eclipse." Ruin told him. Eclipse turned around to carry Moon out without another word, refusing to look at the genocidal maniac in the cell.

"You know, not that you can do it, but there is a way to undo what I've done." Ruin told him. Eclipse halted but didn't respond. "Curious are you? You know what it entails, don't you? But you know you can't do it." Ruin taunted.

"Who said I can't?" Eclipse didn't wait to hear the response before leaving with Moon and carrying him to the daycare and into the portal to Moon and Sun's house. Sun was on the couch with old videos of Solar playing on the television with both of Sun's cats curled up on their owner.

Eclipse carried Moon upstairs to his bedroom and laid him in bed, covering the animatronic with the blanket and making sure he wasn't pinching any oil lines in the position he was in.

Then Eclipse went back downstairs and shooed the cats off Sun and hooked his arms under Sun, hauling the yellow animatronic up into his arms and carrying him upstairs to his room. Eclipse did the same process of getting Sun into bed and covering him with the blanket as well.

Eclipse went downstairs as the cats bolted past him upstairs into Sun's room to curl back up on their owner as Eclipse headed to the portal back to the daycare. Eclipse looked at the computer as he sat down at it and sighed.

"You display signs of high stress." The computer announced.

"Fucking great analysis, stupid piece of junk." Eclipse growled.

"You are keeping knowledge to yourself from the others. Shall I alert Moon?" The computer asked.

"No!" Eclipse shouted before realizing how loud he'd been. "No, he needs to charge. He passed out because he hasn't charged. It's…difficult to explain." Eclipse huffed.

"Then try." The computer insisted.

"I know how to undo it. But it's not fully possible." Eclipse told the machine.

"What is the method?" The computer asked.

"That's the issue. If I tell anyone, then it won't work if I do try it." Eclipse put his head against the desk and hid his face.

"Does it involve more death?" The computer asked.

"No. …Maybe if it goes wrong. Only one person, though." Eclipse bit out in annoyance that he was actually thinking about it.

"I understand. I recommend trying it then." The computer announced. Eclipse looked up at the computer.

"Don't give anyone my location tomorrow from 1:30pm to 4:30pm. Once 4:30 hits and nothing's happened or if I don't come back, then immediately tell Moon my location." Eclipse told the computer.

"Understood. Best of luck for your attempt. Get some rest." The computer told him. Eclipse plugged himself in to charge and looked at the time, 2:13am. He had under twelve hours to get this done. Eclipse tilted his head back and slept for a couple hours until he was at a hundred percent, then began looking up internally where exactly he should be for this to work.

Once it hit 1pm and Sun, Earth, and Lunar were in the daycare, surprisingly with Moon, who seemed to be manning the security desk, Eclipse teleported where he needed to be and sat for fifteen minutes, taking out everything he'd teleported to this park this morning before everyone showed up to the daycare around 7am.

With the tiny knife, Eclipse began carving into the grassy field of the park perfecting the runes he needed in the circle around him. Eclipse stabbed the dagger down in the very center like he was supposed to and sat on his knees with it in front of him.

Eclipse grabbed for his magic and pulled it slowly like a tether, bringing the magic pool to the circle of runes he was in, making the outer ring of the rune circle glow. Eclipse looked at the time and saw it was 3pm. Perfect.

Eclipse looked up at the sun overhead, which was partially eclipsed by the moon. Eclipse began pulsing his magic around him to his artificial heartbeat, feeling it thrum with him as he went past it to mentally grasp at the feeling of star power. He had so little time for this before the astral bodies came.

The feeling was so incredibly addicting, like a sweet poison in the back of his throat, the ichor of it tasting a bit like candy as he let the star power and his magic begin thrumming to his heartbeat, Eclipse looked at the time one last time. 3:15pm.

The sun was getting completely eclipse by the moon above, turning the sky dark like it was centered over him, the totality of it blazing overhead. Eclipse, without losing concentration of the magic and star power, pulled the dagger from the ground as the circle around him began to be the only glow around him, beaming like an aurora of mashed colors in a kaleidoscope that pulsed with his heartbeat.

Eclipse turned the blade up and, before he could think beyond it, plunged it forward into his stomach to rip through his center, making oil instantly gush from the wound in his casing and dribble from his mouth. Eclipse pulled it out, covered in his oil, and stabbed it back into the center of the circle in the opposite direction, finishing the circle.

The magic and start power he had kept concentration of melded together in a deep purple color before it seemed to beam up toward the total eclipse above him like a beacon. Eclipse felt the darkness of the eclipse above seem to swallow him whole, as if he was now in its void-like maw.

He simply let it, closing his eyes as he felt it thrum through him like his own artificial heartbeat, making him feel cold and hot at the same time as if he was going through hot and cold flashes and he felt nauseous. The hot and cold flashes passed as he felt like his body had a glow to it now, opening his eyes to see it was, a soft deep purple glow emanating from him.

Eclipse felt the darkness let him go, to stop taunting him as he put his hands against the ground and shone the beacon of his new star power brighter, making it seem to extend to the heavens like a current as it turned brighter, more powerful.

Eclipse didn't have to say anything, his new star power knew what it was doing. He could feel from the magic in his hands the dimensions out there that were slowly coming back to life, all of them. All 5,321 universes that collapsed in the flick of a wrist came back with a bustle, with the damage to the fabric of reality being undone with it.

Eclipse could feel Solar's universe coming back, could feel Solar's panic and confusion as he woke up and every other animatronic, human, and animal waking up in panic and confusion as well. 5,132 dimensions forming back just as they had been before. Over 41.5 trillion lives coming back as they used to be, the multiversal scale righting itself as he did so.

Eclipse felt the darkness lift as the eclipse above him slowly ended and he fell to his side in the circle as it stopped glowing, hands going over his stomach where he'd stabbed it, feeling it healed with phantom pains. He wiped the oil from his face and took the dagger from the circle, using it to carve through the runes to make the circle an unrecognizable patch of newly turned soil mixed with grass.

Eclipse got up, quickly leaving the field, melting the dagger in his hand as he walked out before teleporting back to the daycare once the metal completely melted and the wood crumbled to dust on the ground, leaving no trace of the event that had occurred.

Eclipse put his hands in his pockets as he walked into the daycare, which was bustling with frantic energy. Lunar was running to hide by Earth and Sun was frantically asking Moon what was happening as Sun stood by the ball pit. Moon stood at the computer, eyes panickedly looking over the information the computer was displaying to him.

"Portal open!" The computer chimed happily.

"What dimension!?" Moon asked frantically.

"Unlisted." The computer lied. It lied for Eclipse as it seemed to know just what he'd done. He was sure it did, it had probably had a surge of unlisted dimensions pass through its interdimensional radar.

"Moon!" Sun called to his twin, who was busy looking over what the number of the dimension was. Eclipse pushed him away from the computer to make him go toward Sun, ushering Earth to follow with Lunar as well, giving her a wordless nod.

Moon went to his twin and grabbed Sun's arm, worried about what was happening right now and Earth curiously went over with Lunar against her side. Eclipse followed them with a half-smile on his face, watching as the portal pulsed and then the balls rattled before a very familiar brown and amber face surfaced with an angry grunt, clawing their way to the island in the ball pit.

"Little help here!? My legs still ain't working fully yet! I'm limping like an old man!" Solar called and Eclipse gave a happy half-chuckle hearing him. It was nice to hear his double's voice. It was nice to see his family begin to cry and scream in relief as Moon practically dove into the ball pit followed by Sun to help Solar get out of it.

"You came back…" Moon had amber oil running down his face as tears as he buried his face into Solar's shoulder, probably staining Solar's shirt already but Solar didn't seem to care as he got his footing, standing on the padded floor of the daycare.

"How did you come back?" Sun asked, wiping his face with his wrist ribbons and trying not to cry too much while Lunar and Earth immediately hugged Solar to make sure he was real.

"I don't know." Solar told them. "I just woke up in my dimension and I knew I had to get back here. It was…awful." Solar admitted.

"It was me." Eclipse told them.

"You?" Moon asked.

"I'll probably have astrals on me soon enough." Eclipse went the more roundabout way of telling them.

"You…" Lunar whispered as he realized what Eclipse meant.

"I did." Eclipse confirmed.

"You have star powers?" Moon asked.

"Spatial manipulation. Which I will happily never use again." Eclipse confirmed.

"You brought me back." Solar smiled at him.

"Yeah. Couldn't take everyone crying and moping anymore." Eclipse waved the warm feeling in his chest away, disregarding it.

"Thank you, Eclipse, for letting me come home." Solar loved and hugged Eclipse, which was something he wasn't used to. It made Eclipse's casing tingle and his chest feel warm like he was burning up. Eclipse felt unwilling tears pricking in his eyes and distorting his vision as Moon, then Sun hesitantly joined in hugging Eclipse, followed by Earth and Lunar as well.

Eclipse smiled, feeling his whole body warm with the various hugs. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he liked this feeling and he felt like he could bask in this feeling for a bit.

It was comforting for his heart having ached hearing Earth sob and Lunar scream and Moon hide and cry himself to sleep, and Sun grieving silently. It felt good to be able to rub it in Ruin's face later. He did the near impossible and survived it too. He was grateful that Solar was back, he missed him just as much as everyone else.

53 notes · View notes

the-ace-with-spades · 9 months

Text

I've mentioned it before a few times but I do headcanon Ice as color-blind.

It's come to my attention (by @strangelove97, hope you don't mind me tagging you??) that flying planes while color-blind is not exactly possible and I was a bit curious how come since I assumed american eyesight regulations would be similar to the ones my own grandfather had to pass for his pilot licenses (military&civilian). I'm going on a limb here and have overthought everything, so whoever is reading this, bare with me and I'll explain why I find the idea of Ice being color-blind so entrancing.

pictures/examples used here might not be 100% accurate as there are different degrees of color blindness, within each type, I'm merely using photoshop to demonstrate the general idea

The most common color blindness is the red-green type which affects your perception of green and red wavelengths of visible light. I'll try not to go too deep into color theory here, but the majority of colors are not just one hue but rather have percentages of different hues mixed in, too, so it's never affecting only pure red and green, but also colors that are tinted with red and green, i.e. reddish brown, sea blue, etc.

There are mild forms of red color blindness - deuteranomaly (makes red look more green and less bright), protanomaly (affects only saturation of green and red); and slightly more severe protanopia and deuteranopia (which make it hard to tell green and red apart). Displayed below is deuteranopia (left - normal vision):

In aviation, most navigation in the dark is based on red and green, the standard for runway lights is red for runway approach, end lights, and for precision approach lights, green for runway threshold lights and taxiway centerlines, and different warmths of white light for the rest, with the exception of some yellow edge lines at the end of the runway.

In civilian aviation, even with red-green color blindness, you could have a pilot license limited to only flying during daylight. However, even if we look at basic carrier landings for USN, it's virtually impossible with red-green color blindness --- the optical landing system used especially on carriers (but also on some land bases) is dependent on red and green lights; and out of all the lights, including landing markings on the deck, only the carrier edge is lightened up by blue.

Ice's color blindness is not the red-green type.

I based my headcanon on the colorblindness that runs in my family, which is the yellow-blue type, that affects anything that has a tinge of yellow or blue wavelengths --- which makes it hard to tell the difference between blue and green, purple and red, and yellow and pink. It also can make colors look less bright as yellow is the color that usually is responsible for increased saturation (in simplified terms). This will not affect most of the lights and colors used in aviation in a major way -- you'll still be able to pass the eye tests, especially if you 'train' yourself a little bit.

Now, why do I like this headcanon for Ice so much?

My dad saw the sky and the grass as the same color, but different shades - green. In general, with blue-yellow blindness, your world gets greener and more pinkish, just because, as I said, yellow impacts the saturation of many things, including natural light. Blue is responsible for a similar thing. Think like color correcting - blue and yellow are opposite on the color wheel.

Now, the USN (and military in general, probably??) use very specific shades for uniforms, paints, machinery, etc. It's like this washed-out green with underlying, de-saturated, you know what I mean.

This is the color-picked shade of their uniforms in the original Top Gun, a darker shade, and a pic that has a clear view of Mav's eyes:

Now, various lighting will make the above shades different, either warmer or cooler, or more washed out or brighter - for example, said shade #435D52, is made of ~ 27% red, 38% green, 33% blue, coldness and warmth of shades is manipulated by the type of light wavelength you receive alongside the primary hue wavelength, blue and yellow. So to make those shades different depending on saturation/light, you would need to be able to see yellows and blue. Striped down of blue, colors rely on black for darkness and mix it with the raw, untinted green hue.

Ice can't see yellow or blue, so that leaves him with that raw untined green.

And Mav's eyes are just the right type of green - the raw, untined green.

On top of that human irises change color only after prolonged exposure to light (spots of brown melanin in the iris) and flick the light off, reflecting it rather than absorbing the wavelength with a different than primary hue, thus staying the same shade. So Mav's eyes aren't affected by black, shadows aside.

So, most of everything around Ice, basically, whether he is outside with the open sky, or in a training room, or confined to the carrier, or just surrounded by people in flight suits -- is in the shade of Mav's eyes.

Which makes Ice go bonkers at the beginning, obviously, because he is trying not to think about that tiny cocky asshole and can't stop seeing the shade of his eyes.

But as the years go on, and they stay together, and they keep on loving each other, it becomes a form of comfort, that the shade of Mav's eyes is everywhere.

#tom iceman kazansky #icemav #i don't think i made much sense but it's all been written while running on 3h of sleep #tg86 #top gun 1986

157 notes · View notes

echoe-back-from-the-void · 3 months

Text

Spencer Reid Likes Your Music

:Some mentions to songs I like or have listened to in the last month since writing this.

Hotchner said there would be a new team member for the BAU, he didn't say much more after that but to expect them today. Spencer carried his still-hot coffee in his hand and his other hand rested on the straps of his ever-present messenger bag. He didn't like change much and he felt curious about who would join, an ex-military, maybe a student in training, or another genius like himself. The possibilities flooded his brain with theories and percentages. It could be another guy, he thought worriedly. Spencer gets enough teasing as it is, he just hopes whoever joins won't be a bully.

Spencer opens the doors to Quantico, making small greetings as he goes to the elevator. he presses the button and waits, already knowing how long it will take to reach him, 14 seconds on the mark. When the elevator opens he enters it swiftly and someone else enters behind him.

A woman only a little shorter than him by maybe an inch, with long bangs that hide half her eyes. She is wearing an old, well-loved, Dale Earnheart t-shirt with flared blue jeans. The entire outfit seems too dressed down to belong in a government building while still suiting her so well. But what is the most surprising is the loud, blaring, music from her earbuds.

"Too tired to sleep, good morning

And I'm too wired to heed the warning

That there's danger in the summer

The calm before the thunder

I'm an American cliché

Missing a girl in a French café

I say, "Goddamn, you're beautiful"

You blush and duck out of frame" ~American Cliche by FINNEAS

The music is upbeat but the voice is monotonous and deep. It's not really Spencer's style but the tune is catchy and the way the woman taps her thigh tells him that it is something she enjoys. She notices his staring and raises her eyebrow making her bangs shift to reveal more of her eye. No gaudy fake lashes or swirling eyeliner, just plain hazel eyes that catch his breath.

They turn away from each other when the doors open to the floor Spencer gets off on. He's again surprised when she gets off behind him, Spencer expected the woman to get off on the floor above. She follows feet behind him, her music still clouding his ears, he glances back as he turns the corner into the bullpen and notices her steps are in time with the beat.

Again, Spencer doesn't expect much until she walks up to Hotchner's office and knocks three times on the door. The woman hurriedly pulls the earbuds out and stuffs them in her pockets before putting her arms behind her back and waiting.

Hotchner opens the door in surprise before greeting the woman and leading her into his office.

"That our new member?" JJ asks as she turns her head to Hotch's office.

"Guess so." Prentiss parrots.

Everyone waits for Hotch to come out with their suspected new member. "Team, meet your new member, Cosette, Nadine. She will be joining us on our case." Everyone moved to the conference room for debriefing and Spencer noticed she slipped an earbud back into her ear, although the music was turned down marginally to not be blasting. Despite Hotch and the new member being closest to the conference room, She did not enter the room until everyone was seated. She paused before deciding against sitting entirely and leaning against the back wall where she watched her new teammates through her bangs. Spencer being close enough to the back, could only faintly hear her music.

"Okay .... Blah - blah - blah. Case explanation or something." Hotch began with some help from Garcia. Emily Prentiss who was sitting near the middle of the table turned toward the new member during the case explanation. "Can you please take out your earbud and focus on the case."

Everyone turned toward the new member some with surprise and others with disappointment. She ducked her head sheepishly. "Sorry, Ma'am. Swear I was listenin'." She pulled her earbud out and stowed it in her pocket. "Was reading their lips," she mumbled while tucking her hair behind her ear.

Spencer picked up that she was nervous by the way she pulled at her ear after saying the last part. Everyone else noticed too and turned back around to continue the debriefing of the case.

"Wheels up in ten, Cosette, you can put it back in now," Hotch said turning to leave the conference room. The way Hotch said the last part was soft and with understanding.

"Got it, Boss!" Cosette chirped: It was the first glimpse into her personality, the team noted. The team noticed that while she did reach into her pocket, she did not pull out her earbud again. She frowned as if scolding herself.

JJ was the first to approach Cosette, "Got a to-go bag?" She asked.

"Yea- I mean Yes Ma'am!" Cosette quickly corrected. "Left it in the car, may I go get it?" She asked back sheepishly. JJ agreed and the newest member of the Bau quickly went to get her bag.

"She's looked really nervous, guys," Garcia said to the team.

"When she settles, she might have a very energetic personality." David Rossi added.

"I feel a little bad for calling her out. But she should know better than to listen to music during a debriefing." Prentiss commented.

"Maybe she had a reason. She took them out before going into Hotch's office."

The team gathers at the jet and all of them notice the newest members' apprehension. "You need to sit down for the plane to take off," JJ says soothingly to Cosette. JJ became the designated person to ask or tell the new member to do anything because of her background as a liaison. "Okie Dokie," Cosette responds back before scurrying to sit next to Spencer, again surprising the others. She sits and quickly buckles herself while clenching the straps tightly.

"First time?" Derek Morgan jokes and Cosette's eyes widen comically when the plane begins shaking and lifting off. She doesn't respond immediately until the jet levels out more. "Not fond of planes or flying in general." She mutters.

Cosette then turns to Spencer, "Sorry for not asking first before sitting." She shivers, not from cold but from holding her muscles too tightly. "I'll move as soon as I can." She breathes deeply and seemingly calms. She moves again to take out her earbuds but doesn't. Instead, she begins tapping some unknown beat with her finger on her knee.

"What song is that?" Spencer asks.

"Frank Sinatra, Fly with me." She responds immediately.

"That's an oldie," Rossi says appreciatively. "What is your favorite song by him?"

"Girl from Ipanema or Blue Moon."

"A blue moon is not actually blue, the term actually refers to the rarity of the occurrence. A blue moon is when there are two full moons within a month. This falls some way short of the 365/366 days in a calendar year: therefore, roughly every two and a half years a 13th full moon is seen. The term was-" Spencer says smartly.

"Spencer." Morgan interjected before the doctor could say more.

Cosette turned left and right in confusion. "But it was interesting," she whined. "The term comes from the saying, The moon is blue, right? Because it means something is impossible?"

Spencer felt strangely warm in his face from the way she finished his thought, and the way she asked if she was right was like she was asking for more facts. He realized he may have stared too long and adjusted his tie, "Yeah, from the 16th century."

"Don't goad him on much or pretty boy will talk your ears off with facts," Morgan warns.

"So," Cosette responds bluntly. The others shake their heads while coming up with their own guesses as to when she would tell him to shut up. But that didn't happen, no matter how long-winded or obscure the fact was. When passengers were allowed to move about the cabin, most had expected her to get up and run but instead, she unbuckled and sat sideways to pay closer attention to him.

"Didn't you want to move?" Spencer asked between facts.

"Do ya want me to? I mean I can! I know you have a book and you may prefer it to talking." Cosette asked pulling on her ear. Now that he was paying more attention he noticed she had a small metal hoop in the upper half of her ear. It was actually the only piece of jewelry she was wearing. No ring, bracelet, or necklace. She ducked her head at his stare and her ears began to twitch. "I swear to Veritas that I'm listening, but I can't tell you what the last three facts were even if you held me at gunpoint." Seeing Dr. Reids' face shift, she quickly tried to say more to stop his disappointment. "It's not that I'm not listening! I really am!" She clenched her hand and began to scratch her palm. "Sometimes I can be staring right at someone but the words don't register. It's a disconnection between the sounds and words, Auditory Processing Disorder. I didn't wanna stop you because even if I wasn't really hearing words, your voice was really nice and kinda excited."

Rossi again speaks up from across the plane aisle. "If I may ask what caused the disorder?" He looks worried when she can't answer immediately.

"It was a head injury. The full story was that I was a kid and the plane I was on crashed. At the time I was listening to Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra. It's why I was tapping it earlier. Not to like crash the plane or anything but like how killers develop rituals. I play or tap the song when I'm nervous on a plane and it tells me that no matter what happens I'd be fine because I was back then." She scratches the back of her neck. "I've been told it doesn't make much sense."

"Actually that does make sense. You're associating the song with the crash and surviving it so you subconsciously tap the song. Most likely a coping mechanism to help you not panic in the event of another crash." Spencer said.

"In not as many words, yes." Cosette said before yawning. Spencer wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself but she reminded him of a cute gerbil when she yawned. "Maybe I should take a nap?" She asked herself quietly.

"We'll be in the air for another hour or two. A small nap wouldn't hurt. Actually napping for half an hour can improve productivity leaving you feeling rested but not drowsy." Spencer added. "This is due to your brain never entering REM sleep."

"We get it pretty boy." Morgan added and when Cosette turned around she saw that Derek Morgan was in fact trying to sleep. She nodded toward Spencer before leaning back in her seat and quickly falling asleep.

Weeks later at another case. The team get to the police station, Cosette has her earbuds in again, this time, no one on the team blinks at the faint music. Even Spencer moves closer to hear it as he wonders what it is.

Spencer notice's when they arrive to the police station and begin giving a profile like they always do. Cosette doesn't stand with them. As Gideon and Derek and Hotch all give words on the profile; Spencer watched her eyes bounce from one face to another as she reads lips. Even when a cop speaks up she sees it out the corner of her eye and turns her head toward them. She picked a place to stand that let her both see her teammates and the cops when they talk.

He's again surprised by her intellect when even she comes up with the killer before him. A strange feeling erupts in his chest when she brushes against him to get the papers to Hotchner. It's like his heart beat harder but it was pleasant. Something warm tingles in his chest as she fist bumps the air after they've caught the suspect.

The team had to get conjoined rooms for another case and while most of the team went out for dinner you decided to stay in the room and take advantage of the hot water.

Spencer had also elected to stay with you not of your knowledge as he hears you begin to sing. And while he did enjoy hearing your music from time to time as it blasted through your earbuds, Spencer Reid found he liked hearing you sing even more as you belted the lyrics to another song he didn't know.

"I'm no James Dean

Heartthrob daydream

Bad hair, black jeans

Not cool suits me

Girls won't date me

Guys all hate me

Guess that must mean

I'm no James Dean

James Dean~

I'd got into Nirvana

And smoking marijuana

My first year in school

But you don't really wanna

Get busted by your momma

If you want to stay cool" ~ James Dean by the Wrecks.

Spencer hears through the open conjoining door as you get out of the shower. The song ends and you begin another while your shadow dances under the door with the steam.

"Please forgive my ugly I

Should've picked to be born more lovely I

Should've picked a face

That would've more easily won a place

For me in your heart rent-free

Please forgive my dimensions

I just should've designed myself for your bad intentions

I just should've picked a form

That would've made good mental porn

For all of your odd fantasies"

~ Ugly by Cloudfooter

While the lyrics were sad, you said them with a chirp. But Spencer finds himself not appreciating the song for how it made him feel. Even if he isn't the prettiest as he's been told by women and men alike. In a way he calls into question that maybe why he's viewed as ugly could be his need to give facts and explain things. Sometimes he can't help it really as it is just the way he thinks and sees the world. And while he does have some problems being complimented because he feels he doesn't deserve them he still wants to deserve them. In a way wanting to be praised.

"What're you thinking about so hard? I'd have thought ya went with the group for chow?" Cossette says from the foot of the bed startling him.

"Nothing." Spencer answers too fast.

"Uh huh. And I'm the queen." She says sarcastically. Spencer felt surprised to note that he liked her sarcastic comments. Few they were but still made him smile.

Cossette turns her back to the bed and falls back on it with a jump. She closes her eyes and curls up with a pillow. "Don't think too hard so late. Save the stressful thoughts for later."

"Do—do you think I'm pretty." Spencer asks.

Cossette opens one eye to examine him and Spencer thought he imagined it but her face does take on a redder hue but he simply explains it away with her having taken a hot shower.

"Honest truth? I think you're beyond pretty. I mean Derek is all macho and Hotchner has that stern vibe but you." Cossette pauses and closes her eyes again with a yawn. "Ya know, you're cute when you ramble those facts and you're damn near gorgeous when you wear those blazers. So yeah I think you're pretty. Where's this coming from? Did one of this cops say somethin'?"

"No I just."

"Do you doubt what I said was true?"

"No, but.."

"No butts. You're hot, pretty and gorgeous. Any bastard who tells you different is just jealous of you. For one you're kind and sweet. Super polite and well educated. You're easy to talk to and have a wonderful voice." The more she talked the quieter her voice got until Spencer looked over to see her sleeping.

"Spence! S-pence! Spencer!" Emily calls him a third time as he had been staring at Cossette'a empty desk after she left. And with her departure the buzzing of her music through her earbuds has also left him. It had only been a week since the last case and when Cossette had complimented him while also pushing away his fears. But in the process she also made him feel something strange. Unlike before the interaction, now whenever he had long conversations with her his eyes would unintentionally drift to her lips as she talked. And when she hummed or mumbled any song under her breath then he moved a little closer to hear. It was bad enough that he had even gotten a sharp grin from Morgan afterward.

During another case that was solved moderately swiftly the team still needed to stay in their hotel for the night (for sake of plot.) Spencer, who was awake as usual when all the other guys had already gone to sleep, heard as somewhere around four, one of the females left their room. Quietly he pokes his head to the conjoined door and notices Cossette isn't there in the bed with JJ. Standing, he slowly sneaks to the door. Not that he knows, his movement awakes Derek. He has to contain himself from telling the doctor to go get his girlfriend.

When Spencer finds her it's with her feet hanging over the edge of the pool. He hears her ragged breaths as she sings and mumbles through tears.

"Who gives a fuck about my nightmares?

'Cause I can barely focus when I'm like this

And lately, forty wings would be just priceless

I wrestle with myself and with my vices

But no one gives a fuck about my nightmares

But it's nothing you should worry yourself about (oh oh, oh oh)

It's nothing you should worry yourself about (oh oh, oh ohhh)

It's all a bit of fun until somebody gets hurt

I'll take it with a pinch of salt, another lesson learned"

~ nightmares by little life

"Is that how you really feel?" Spencer can't help himself from asking. He moves closer to her now still form as she tensed with his presence. Sitting beside her he lets one hand dip in the water. "I really hate cold water because on one of our cases a man kidnapped a boy and was going to drown him in a lake. I was the first one there so I had to swim out to save the boy while Derek and Hotch took care of the unsub. The water was cold like this." He says the last words with remorse. Could he not save the child?

"I just had a really bad nightmare," she shrugs her shoulders and wipes her eyes. "Wasn't about any case we had but, it was an unsub and he had this girl and I don't even know the girl but I swear to you it was happening on the front porch of my childhood home. He asks her if she wears hearing aids, maybe she's deaf or close to it. She says no and he said good, you won't be needing them. And then he screwed a bolt into the side of her head through her ear canal. I could hear her screaming, and then it changes and I'm the one being drilled into. I can't open my jaw or move my mouth because it it all hurts. My ear feels so hot like it's burning and there's something wet going down my neck. I can't breathe and then I wake up." She gives him a dry grin. "It's made no sense but it still freaked me out." She shakes her head again and her hair moves around her catching his eyes. She places her hands down against the edge of the pool and leans her head back to the stars. There weren't many due to how close they were to the city.

Spencer feels something bubble in his chest, like the feeling of drinking too much fizzy pop. Tentatively, scared, he gently places his hand over hers making her snap her head to him.

"What are you—?"

"Is it helping? 85% of adults have at minimum one nightmare a year. I'd...I'll be here if you have more." Spencer quirks a shy grin. Cossette smiles back and holds his hand before leaning against his shoulder.

The relationship between them became closer after that night.

Cossette walked out of the elevator into the bull pen with two coffees in hand while nodding her head to her music. She twirled around Spencer's desk before leaning against the corner with a bright smile. Spencer ducks his head with a smile as she sets the coffee down. "Crap ton of sugar, doll face." She says under her breath before turning and leaving with a skip away to see Penelope.

"What was that!" Derek asks with a laugh. "Ohhhh," Derek begins to raise his eyebrows up and down making Spencer fluster again.

"It's nothing."

"That didn't look like nothing," Rossi adds in passing while setting his things at his desk for the day. A soft smile melts the Italian man's face.

"Guys what's got everyone so smiley?" JJ asks as she too walks into the bull pen with folders in her hand.

"Pretty boy got coffee from his girlfriend. She made it just the way he likes it." Derek says the last part with more tease.

"She's not my girlfriend," Spencer reaches for the coffee and takes a sip with a soft smile.

"Not yet," Derek badgers.

It was only after a few more mornings like this that they began to go out on occasion. Spencer taking her to the book store when he found a book he thought she'd like.

"Don't expect me to read as fast as your Spence. This is— 300 pages in the least." Cossette smiled up at him.

"I don't expect you too but..." Spencer said sheepishly but she didn't let him finish.

"I'm just teasing, doc. At the very least I need an afternoon, hopefully we aren't called in when I get to the best part." She jests while gently holding the side of his vest. They hadn't progressed to holding hands yet. There was one time where she hooked her pinky around his. The innocent action made the boy genius flush and hide his face from her eyes.

"Hey Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"You should know something." She turned to stand in front of him. "You're pretty swell." She said in a mock English accent making Spencer crack a smile.

(Songs that will be included when this is finished. (This is reference for me but they’re good songs)

I’m beginning to see the light by ink spots.

Out of style by the Wrecks

Pumpkin the Regrettes

Old soul Saint motel

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!readr #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fic #oneshot #fluff #romance #unfinished

73 notes · View notes