Tumgik
#but if you want to watch me ramble more lmk! i’m always down to discuss 5sos and colors lol
bandsanitizer · 3 years
Note
Hello!🤍🐥
5, 20, 43 & 51 for the 5sos asks
hi!! thank you for the ask!! hope you are doing well 💖
5. top five songs overall?
this is a difficult question LOL based solely on my tastes and preferences etc I’ll go with (in no particular order outside of the only reason as 1st):
the only reason, story of another us, os/co, close as strangers, and high (honorable mentions to moving along, over and over, red desert, and kill my time)
20. a song that indulges your emo needs?
I’m going to say over and out? first because drums. second because alex gaskarth writing credits.
43. what color do you associate with each of the members?
THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION! I have so so so many feelings about 5sos and colors that I’m putting it in small text to save space. if it’s difficult to read pls let me know and I’ll make it bigger. it just got a bit… long and honestly I have more thoughts about like their ships/pairings as well
okay so easily Calum is dark green. like specifically dark green like forest green-ish in terms of like range of green between yellow and blue, as well. this is because Calum is very very much a cool color—but blue is too cool, like even teal isn’t warm enough to capture the grounding that Calum has, yet he lacks the energized aspects of the warm colors. he definitely has some yellow—he’s pretty friendly and he has his brighter moments, etc (I’d say a lot of his luke and duke interactions are this) but he’s an earthy color. he’s grounded. he’s thoughtful and introspective and while that can be self-orientated he’s very aware and observant. like he’s just… he’s the dark green that resembles the non-creepy sort of comforting surrounding of a forest/trees.
michael is red and I mean bright red like his hair. an unforgiving and unapologetic red. the kind of red that sticks to everything it touches and sticks out in a crowd. which seems odd for michael, but to me he’s always comes across as someone who doesn’t go down quietly or without a fight. someone who wants to know they done something with their life. which is pretty universal, but michael is such a driven dude and he’s 5sos’ number one spokesperson regarding pushing them towards bigger risks and greater chances (them dropping out and the killer queen recording are two examples) and that’s something I find to be bright red? that it’s a fiery sort of passion that can be burning or just a light? that michael is emotions in the sense that I’m sure he has a bit of a temper? but also is so… when he’s happy and proud? he’s so genuine about it? like in general he’s very genuine whether he tries to pretend like he’s not and that’s bright red bc there’s no hiding bright red? it sticks to everything and I do think something about michael is so specific that he leaves behind something with everyone he meets.
luke is blue, usually a sky blue, but a wide array of blues. like everyone has duality but luke does in a way that’s unsuspecting? in the way that blue jeans aren’t usually bold but a swipe of blue eyeliner is a whole statement. he’s blue in that luke moves a lot between softer and harsher sides, deeper and brighter moments. that there are distinctions between front man luke and interview luke and livestream luke and luke posting things on social media that are… subtle but stand out. that he can take up a whole arena with his presence but just from an interview? hard to tell he’s the lead singer sometimes. he’s blue in how blue is full of things. full of meanings from stormy seas to clear skies. full of capacities from making an outfit go from dressy to casual to stepping up an all black fit to a focused statement moment. he’s also just a cool color in the sense he’s introspective and logically led (which is how I associate colors) but he’s a lot more free? airy? than a grounded color like green. he’s mostly clear skies though. and it’s a warm and happy that’s not necessarily the full warmth from the sun on skin? more like that feeling of “today will be a good day” that he’s a star but night skies and bright lights or going unseen in the daytime. just a whole lot of duality in this man i’d say.
last but not least, ashton is a deep red. the kind of red that’s usually velvety or viscous. to start, he and michael are both red (in general) for the emotions I associate them with. they both carry an ability for warmth (think red and fire etc) and they both are emotion dudes. passionate af. they’re the kind of colors with something to say and won’t go unheard. that said, ashton is the “layers” deep red can have. which is like more so the way ashton has very purposeful personalities for situations (like I said with luke) but they’re very *line down the middle* sort of distinct. that he’s the dad friend and the uncle and the older brother and the snippy cousin who won’t talk to you at family reunions and also that other cousin who will start up a conversation out of no where. he’s full of opinions and thoughts and it’s deep red in the sense that he won’t always share them? but they pull or reach out and sprinkle in things he creates. idk if calum’s the open comfort of a forest then ashton is the embrace of a library or comfy couch in a dimly lit room.
51. realistically, what member do you think you’d get along with the best and the least (based on how they appear to the public)?
I can tell you that I would get along with Ashton the least. Particularly as current Ashton, while earlier 2014 Ashton might’ve been the best for this question. I just don’t think I’d vibe with him? We’d probably get angry at each other lmao
Maybe I’d get along with Michael best? He comes across as a friend you don’t need to have a lot of shared interests to maintain a friendship with and I’d say he comes across as pretty patient with people. I think we’d get along regarding these burst of wanting to talk to people and hang out but also having moments of needing space and some realm of alone that isn’t lonely.
5SOS asks!
7 notes · View notes
jacepens · 3 years
Note
1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong
And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)
You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)
1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)
Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary
Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons
5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton
Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺
Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza
Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell
A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))
An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)
My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?
My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD
Most badass character: Mary my beloved
Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down
Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe
Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)
Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.
Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.
Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.
2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)
Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa
Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date
5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie
Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie
Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 
Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker
A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?
An unpopular opinion: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 
My canon OTP: wandavision
My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol
Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many
Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol
Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?
Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me
Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite
Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 
Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor
3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)
When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 
My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3
What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 
What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)
Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.
Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol
My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)
My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)
4. Anna Strong (character)
How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on
Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund
My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb
My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them
Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben
My crossover ship: I have no idea
And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here
Octopath Traveler (my beloved)
Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Star Wars
Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812
Persona 4
Zelda (to a point)
Pokémon
What We Do in the Shadows
Sailor Moon
Literally anything historical
Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3
7 notes · View notes
tomspancakes · 4 years
Text
This Way: Part 4
Tumblr media
*not my gif*
Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader
Word Count: 3580
Warnings: still a crazy ass bih lol. I can’t stop with the drama sorryyy
Summary: Y/n starts noticing how weird Tom is being and decides to confront him.
A/N: I think I’m going to post two days in a row then have one day off, but like a sis is nearing the end of her school year so let’s hope I stick with it haha. Please lmk if you’re enjoying this/ have any constructive criticism. ALSO I need help like ded ass don’t know if I’m stupid or if it’s tumblr’s fault, but when I tag people some of the tags don’t work :/ BUT don’t hesitate to ask to be a part of the tag list :) 
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
+++
*week and a half before lock down*
You opened the door to the flat exhausted after a long day of filming and walked into the living room to see Tom busy on his laptop. He looked up, 
“Oh hi, y/n.” He shut his laptop and stood up, you gave him a strange look.
“Leaving already? Do I smell or something?” You joked and flopped on the couch. Tom has been acting really strange with you after the dinner with his family. Lately he’s been leaving you alone whenever one of the boys got up to leave as well. ‘Was he feeling awkward about being friends?’ you thought to yourself. 
“Oh no no you don’t smell. You always smell nice,” He blushed because he said too much, “Just need to work on this script, Harry’s been on my ass about it.” He said and began to walk away before you could reply.
“What? Not even gonna ask how my day was... you know like a friend?” You teased and Tom sighed and squeezed his eyes shut and turned around
“How was your day, y/n?”
“It was long, tiring, and someone was really rude to me on the set.” You sighed and waited for him to sit back down so he could listen, but he never did, “Ok then… how about your day, Tom?” This was starting to get awkward, 
“Didn’t really do anything, just ate and worked on the first act of the movie, which still isn’t done so if you’ll excuse me I’m going to my room now.” He said quickly, turning around again walking away.
“How rude. ‘Ya let’s be friends, y/n, it’ll be fun.’” You grumbled and mimicked him in an annoyed voice. Tom heard and felt really bad to pretend he didn’t.
-
You were now sitting on Harry’s bed watching him edit his short film and eating ice cream, he listened to how your day went,
“And oh my god one of the stunt fighter guys was being a straight up asshole,” You rolled your eyes eating another spoonful of ice cream,
“How so?” Harry asked
“Well I kept messing up this one stunt where I was in heels and we ended up filming it 7 times. I mean I felt bad for wasting time, but that was until the dickhead said, ‘I don’t even know why they casted you, it’s a simple stunt just get this shit down already so we can move on!’” You said in a deep voice mimicking the guy, “I was so embarrassed, but thankfully Ryan stood up for me. Still ruined my day though.”
“What the hell? What kinda asshole-,” He got up from his spot on the bed all riled up, “Who is this guy? I’m gonna end him. Does he even realize how damn hard it is to do a stunt in heels?” You laughed at Harry’s protectiveness, “Tom literally took half a day to film one stunt and he wasn’t in heels!” You shrugged.
“Sit your ass back down. Thanks for trying to protect me, but everything will be fine, I’m strong. It’s business gotta suck it up.” He rolled his eyes and jumped on you with a bear hug. You laughed and tried to push him off of you, but he was too heavy. 
“Harry, you bitch, I can’t breathe.”
“I just want to protect my best friend.” He said before letting you go and going back to editing.
“Speaking of Tom, have you noticed that he’s avoiding me?” You asked quickly.
“Huh? I haven’t noticed anything of the sort. I mean you guys are both really busy right now aren’t you?” You nodded and rested your head on Harry’s shoulder,
“I mean I guess, but haven’t you noticed like yesterday when you left the kitchen Tom rushed a bit to leave also?” 
“Oh yeah I forgot about that, it was quite strange now that I think about it.” 
“Yeah Tom’s been doing that to me ever since we left your parents’ house. And when I got home today I tried to talk to him about my day, because you know I thought he’s my friend, and he just said he really needed to work on the script and left to his room!”
“Hmm, I did tell him to finish the first act by tomorrow, but he’s been working in the living room all day. Said something about his room being more of a distraction. Also it’s not like Tom to leave without hearing someone out. He always listens.” You just sighed,
“I guess he thinks it’s still weird to be friends. I tried, sorry, Harry.”
“Please don’t give up just yet, y/n, maybe he’s just stressed or something. You know I wouldn’t want to pick sides.” You nodded and started to drift off to sleep and felt Harry remove the bowl from your lap.
-
“Y/n, love, wake up.” you were being shaken by Harry.
“Huh? Oh sorry, did I fall asleep?” You asked groggily and he laughed,
“Yeah and I finished editing the short film!” You jumped up no longer tired anymore.
“Oh my god yay, Harry! Can I see it now pleaseeee?” You jumped up and down on the bed.
“Tomorrow, love, it’s 1 am now and I want to show everyone in the house at the same time.” You pouted and he laughed.
“Fine then be like that. But I’m proud of you.” You hugged him, “Good night, Harry, can’t wait to see the finished product!” 
“Night, love.” He chuckled and you walked out with your empty dish.
You pulled out your phone and opened the Instagram app to see that Tom posted something on his story about 30 minutes ago. It was a picture of the script and his foot captioned, “Working on something big, like my big toe.” You giggled a bit and muttered, “Idiot.” The next story post was from Tuwaine, it was a picture you all took together after breakfast when Tom burnt himself. You were laying across the boys’ laps and Tom was happily looking down at your smiling face. It was captioned, “If lock down happens, it’ll be a real party with these people.” You smiled and reposted it to your story.
As soon as you reached the kitchen you saw Tom sitting at the counter and typing away on his laptop.
“Hey, Tom, still working?” Tom jumped at the sound of your voice.
“Jesus, don’t scare me like that. And yes I couldn’t sleep, b-but I think I’m getting tired now.” He was about to close his laptop and leave, but you stopped him. 
“Oh my god… I’m just gonna put my dish in the sink and leave.” His frazzled expression turned to a relaxed one and he sat back down typing again, refusing to look at you. You began to walk away then felt the urge to ask,
“Tom, a-are you avoiding me?” It came out quieter than you thought, you felt vulnerable. He stopped typing for a brief moment when you asked.
“No, definitely not. Why’d you think that?” You walked back to the counter and stood across him leaning on the surface.
“I’ve been noticing that you're in a rush to leave the room when we’re alone…” Tom continued to type, but incorrectly because of his nerves. 
“Oh, I-I’m sorry, love, didn’t mean for you to think that. I’m just busy is all, I promise.” He said and pointed at the laptop.
“Too busy to hear your friend rant about her day?” You asked and he sighed. His heart dropped when you called yourself his friend.
“I’m afraid so, love. Now why don’t you go sleep don’t you have to film tom-” You cut him off getting tired of the excuses,
“Tom cut the shit, I know you’re avoiding me and I don’t get why.” Tom sighed as you rambled and he put his laptop to the side because he wasn’t getting anything done, “I really appreciate you letting me stay here, but shouldn’t we at least talk a little bit? I mean I was ready to be friends with you for Harry’s sake and then we talked at the dinner and then I was genuinely ready to start off on a new foot. I’ve been trying so hard to reach out to you and you’re literally avoiding me now. Like are you even trying at all? Because I don’t-” Your eyes began to water. Tom got too frustrated and cut you off,
“Y/n I can’t talk about this right now. Please, it’d be better if we discussed this another time.”
“What the hell? Are you being serious? You were a dick when we broke up, you were a dick when I tried to reach out to you, and now you’re being a dick for putting our so called ‘friendship’ on ho-”
“Y/n, stop! Ok? I get it. You can call me a dick and an asshole whatever you want, but this is all for you! Everything I do is for you or because of you! So just leave me the fuck alone, please.” His voice cracked when he said the last sentence. 
“What the hell are you talking about? What are you doing for me?” You stared at him confused.
“I can’t say anything, it’s for the best. Just drop it.” You looked at one another, tears threatening to fall out of Tom’s eyes, you hadn’t noticed you were already crying.
“No. I’m not gonna leave until you tell me what’s going on, Tom. I care for you and I want to be here for you, just tell me what’s going on please.” He looked at you and furrowed his brows making tears stream down his cheeks, it hurt to see you so sad especially since he caused it. He turned around in distress and brushed his hands through his hair before turning back to you. He looked into your eyes and sighed knowing there was no way out of this situation.
“I’ve been avoiding you because I told Allana you’re my ex.” 
“Ok and what’s so ba-”
“Let me finish, y/n, please.” You apologized softly.
“I told her not to tell anyone because I didn’t want to break the promise of letting the world know that we dated. A-and she threatened to spill the secret if I didn’t stay away from you. She said if I ever told anyone about what she said or if she ever saw me close to you again she’d expose us right away. I-I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship because I decided to be honest to my two-faced girlfriend.” All this information hit you like a train.
“Wow, what. a. fucking. Bitch.” You said stunned, Tom scoffed.
“I feel like an idiot for not listening to the boys and not seeing the red flags.” He sat back down and put his head in his hands. 
“Hey don’t worry, I didn’t notice anything either. Hell I tried to help her. Maybe we’re too gullible…” What you said didn’t really help so Tom began to sob a bit. You walked over to his side and put a hand on his forearm so that he could look at you. His heart was racing at your touch.
“Look, I know Allana is bat shit crazy, but…” You paused thinking if this was a good thing to tell him, “I uh I don’t think I can have you avoiding me all the time, I want you in my life,” He looked up at you surprised, “a-as a friend.” His heart dropped, was that all you were ever going to see him as? A damn friend? 
“Ok, but Allana will tell everyone, and I know how much you care about your privacy.” He said with a stuffy nose, you grabbed a tissue for yourself and Tom.
“I know, but we’ll figure out a way. We were clever enough to hide a 6 month relationship.” You smiled, but you both felt sad when you mentioned your past. He got up and wrapped you in his arms tightly. You swayed back and forth as you felt wet droplets fall on the top of your head, and you soaked Tom’s white t-shirt. You both weren’t crying only because of what just happened, but because you missed one another in a way that words can’t explain. You let out the tears you didn’t cry from when Tom didn’t respond to you and remembered the nights you’d go through old pictures of you and him alone. Tom was crying out all the tears he wanted to let out when he saw that picture of you and Gavin and from the nights that he craved your touch. He tightened his arms around you like it was the last time he’d ever see you. 
“Allana might be watching from outside the window, I’m gonna let you go now.” You said and Tom chuckled sadly letting you go, “We’ll talk about what we can do about this situation in the morning or another time.” You smiled kindly at Tom and he nodded. Tom grabbed your hand softly before you could walk away and pulled you close. You gulped because of how close you were to him,
“Thanks for being so kind, sleep well. Goodnight, y/n.” You smiled and replied,
“Thanks for being more kind to me. Goodnight.” You gave him one last hug and walked away feeling relieved while Tom still felt guilty despite what you said. He still felt like he needed to do more.
-
You woke up at 8 AM feeling a lot happier for some reason. Maybe it was because you cleared things up with Tom last night or because you were going to film a really exciting scene today with some new people. 
You walked into the kitchen, “Goodmorning boys!” You said enthusiastically walking up behind where Harry was seated and gave him a hug from behind.
“Ew why’re you happy?” Harry asked, still tired. 
“Morning, y/n!!” Tuwaine and Haz said in unison. You grabbed a bowl and poured yourself a bowl of cereal.
“Harry, when are we gonna watch your film, I can’t wait any longer.” You complained.
“Maybe when you come back from set, I want to go back to sleep after I eat.”
“Ugh you’re so lazy.” You joked, “where’s Tom, isn’t he usually up by now?”
Tuwaine looked at the other boys then at you apologetically, “He uh left around 5 this morning.”
“Oh for an early workout or something?” You asked, taking a bite of cereal.
“No,” Tuwaine cleared his throat, “to Berlin, Germany.” You choked on your cereal. 
“Wait what, you’re joking I thought he leaves in 3 days.” 
“I don’t know exactly why he left, something about needing a few days for himself before filming. Which I understand because he’s been working hard.” Haz said and you furrowed your brows, was it because of what happened last night? Harry noticed your concern.
“Y/n, do you know exactly why he left?” You wanted to tell him, but you couldn’t. If the boys found out what Allana said they’d definitely do something about it and you couldn’t let that happen. You shook your head,
“Nope, I’m just as confused as you are.” You said coolly.
-
“Are you sure you don’t know what was making Tom stressed?” Harry asked as he pulled up in front of the studio.
“Ya, I’m sure. He’s avoiding me, remember?” It pained you to lie to Harry like that, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to let the world know you and Tom dated. Harry looked like he didn’t believe you, but he let it go.
“Ok then… Text or call when you need me to pick you up.” You thanked him again for dropping you off and walked to the set. You saw Lana and walked with her,
“Hey, babes, did you see the text from Melissa?” You shook your head no. Melissa was in charge of scheduling which scenes would be filmed every day, “She said everyone needed to meet at crafty’s before going to sound stage 32.” 
“Really? Why?” 
“Not quite sure, but there’s been rumors that filming will be postponed.” Lana said sadly.
“Wait, you’re joking.” She shrugged and shook her head as you guys entered the food tent, everyone already looking disappointed.
“Hi everyone, as many of you know Covid-19 was just announced as a world wide pandemic and we’ve just been shut down from shooting anymore scenes at least for two weeks.” Melissa said everyone groaning, “Yes I know this sucks, but please stay safe and healthy while we’re shut down. If you have a trailer here please make sure you clear all your things out because there will be a cleaning team here in two days to…” You drowned Melissa’s voice out
“Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…” You sighed and dropped your head on Lana’s shoulder and she patted your head.
“Lastly make sure you all stay in the same shape you are in now, so nothing looks different when we resume shooting.” Melissa hopped off the table and everyone began to clear out to get their things. You called Harry telling him the sad news. 
-
“I’m so upset, Harry, today sucks.” He patted your thigh as he made a right turn.
“It’ll be ok, love. I’m sure you will go back to filming in no time and you’ll actually miss having a break.” You just leaned your head on the window wondering if Tom at least made it safely to Berlin, and in that exact moment your phone pinged. 
Tom: Hi, y/n, I assume the boys have already told you that I left for Berlin. I just landed. I’m really sorry for not giving a warning, but the space is for the best. I hope you can understand xx
You were upset with everything and everyone at this point and Tom’s text just ruined your mood more. How does he know what’s best for you? Mad and feeling petty you texted back,
You: k.
Tom: Please, trust me, y/n. This will help out our situation.
You: Last time I checked running away from your problems never helps the situation.
You threw your phone back into your purse annoyed.
“Oh shit, what the fuck is she doing here?” Harry asked, displeased. You looked up to see Allana pulling into the driveway just before you and Harry did. 
“Great. Just fucking great. Harry, I think I’m gonna scream.”
“I think I will too. Can we just drive around until she’s gone?”
“That would be nice, but I think she already spotted us and won’t leave.” You pointed at her going to sit down on the porch. Harry groaned and pulled into the driveway. As soon as you and Harry stepped out the car she stood up and barked,
“Where the hell is Tom? He hasn’t texted me since yesterday afternoon, today is our 5 month anniversary.” Well that makes things more complicated. Harry looked at you with wide eyes, “What? Why’re you looking at her like that? Did you have something to fucking do with this, y/n?” She said giving you the dirtiest look ever. ‘Bitch I hope it wasn’t because of me.’ You thought. Harry got closer to you in protective mode.
“No no I swear. We were all surprised to see Tom gone this morning.”
“Gone? Where the hell is he?” 
“He went to Berlin early. Now if you’ll excuse us we’d like to relax in our home.” Harry said not letting you talk, almost standing in front of you now. You both began to walk past her, but she squeezed your arm tight and yanked you back. You winced in pain.
“You bitch what did you do? Don’t even think about fucking lying to me.” Her eyes burned into your soul.
“Allana, what the fuck you’re crazy! back off!” Harry said, pulling you back behind him, “I suggest you leave now before things get more ugly.” He said in the most intimidating way possible.
“Ok, but the only thing ugly about this is whatever y/n did with Tom. I don’t doubt for a second that you’re a stupid whore. I saw that photo of you laying on him last night, and I’ve seen how you flirt with Tom you sk-”
“Allana that’s enough, go now!” Harry yelled and she looked surprised. She glared at you before stepping back, “Stay the fuck away from Tom he doesn’t need your ugly ass all over him.” “Allana, sweetie, we live in the same house. Quite dumb of you to think we can really stay away from one another.” You laughed darkly as tears of anger welled up in your eyes.
“Ok then, cunt. Go near him, I dare you. You have no idea what I’m capab-”
“Allana, I said fucking leave!” Harry was tired of this shit. Allana scoffed and finally drove away.
Harry turned to you cradling you in his arms as you let tears fall down your face, “I hate today…” you hiccuped, “a lot.” 
“I know, I know.” He cooed. You looked up at him, “I know something is up, y/n. You need to tell me why my brother really left so I can help you.” You sighed and nodded.
“Ok let’s get you cleaned up.” He kept you close to his side and you both walked in. Tom was so wrong thinking him leaving would solve anything.
+++
Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts​ @thollandx​ @mrsjeffwittek​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @racewife2004​ @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @witchything​ @wheelertozier​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @rafficorn @jessirosebud​ @peterspideyy​ @superstarchick​ @jackiehollanderr​  @astridcommings @mineymak712 @hollands-osterfield​ @inhumanwithpowers​
160 notes · View notes
twilightofthe · 4 years
Note
So...about that Obitine Anidala rant. Also, you said something about how Sidious and Obi-Wan are foils. I would love it if you elaborate. (Also, I love your blog.)
Awwwww thank you anon!  I just be yelling on here!
*wheezes* okie doke!  Tho I stress that this won’t exactly be a rant because I adore Obitine and Anidala and rant kinda implies aggression towards them, this is more of just a long-ass ramble because while I love them, I don’t always love the way canon portrays them in the narrative, particularly in relationship to each other, because I often do not feel that what the show is trying to push us to think about them is accurate to how they actually act and come across.  Notably, the show attempts to draw comparisons to the two relationships that really don’t exist below surface level similarities.  Again, these are my own personal opinions, and in fact, I welcome discussion!  I truly do!  Please politely debate me on this if you disagree!
(god dammit it got long again, so long I’ll actually put ur Sidious and Obi Wan as foils part in a separate post)
I’ll get to why exactly the show compares the relationships very strangely in a moment, but first we gotta explore the reason why it does this in the first place, which is that the Clone Wars show has decided to make Obi Wan and Anakin narrative foils to one another.  Narrative foils, by the literary definition, are two characters that contrast one another.  They don’t have to be the protagonist and the antagonist, these characters can be on the same side, basically the thing is that they have “opposite” personalities where if one character is hot, the other is cold, if one character chooses to go right, the other will go left.  It’s usually used to show one character’s qualities as more favorable for the situation as opposed to anyone else’s.
TCW does this whenever they possibly can with Anakin and Obi Wan.  I get its reasoning behind it.  I do.  The reasoning is that while Anakin is supposed to be a main character, he makes questionable decisions quite often and for the kiddies watching, those decisions must be seen as Bad even if the hero does it, so they have Obi Wan, the unquestionable good guy, encounter the exact same scenarios Anakin makes his questionable decisions in, and then has Obi Wan make the Right(TM) decision to teach the kids a valuable lesson.  They turn Obi Wan into the voice of reason for the entire show, which turns basically almost everything Obi Wan and Anakin do into a constant competition in the narrative in a way the movies do not do (and I’ll get to the movies later).  I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, making them foils, but it’s definitely more of a show-only thing and it does it quite, quite often.
So yeah, TCW likes to compare Obi Wan and Anakin to the point that sometimes they try and use Obi Wan to diminish Anakin’s genuine trauma and struggles by going “well why didn’t you do it like THIS?” and I think that writing parallel plotlines for the purpose of shaming/criticism is kinda ://////, but that’s another rant for another day that again, if y’all wanna hear about, lmk
Anyway, the need to compare them absolutely made its way into their romantic relationships as well, as they acknowledge the similarities in the show, and Filoni and the crew explicitly compare the two relationships in interviews.
Basically my problem with how they try and draw said parallels can be boiled down to one quote by Filoni that a cursory Google search could not find but I know exists so y’all can take my word or not, that went along the lines of “Obi Wan and Satine are like Anakin and Padmé but better because they know how to stay unattached and let each other go.  They’re a success story.”  I disagreed with this quote so much it inspired me to write a whole-ass fic about it (Mutuals update: yes, it is coming soon, Darth Maul is just himself and therefore an utter pain in the ass to do a POV on and is fighting me like the bitchass he is)
My thesis that I will be arguing today is that while TCW tried to create Obitine as an Anidala parallel, they’re really not similar in the way the writers think they are.  Obitine is not a success story to Anidala, they’re a goddamn tragedy too; the real parallel to Anidala is that Obitine also ended in death and tears despite making all the “right” decisions instead of all the “wrong” ones, and that is what is sad about them.
Like, on the surface level?  Yeah, the crew-intended parallels are there.  A fancy politician and a Jedi get together after the Jedi is assigned as the politician’s bodyguard.  The first time they see each other in over a decade the guy’s first words are basically “damn girl you’re still hot”, there is Conflict(TM) and the choice to try and be together or stay yearningly apart because they are Forbidden(TM) to be together, and ultimately a Sith Lord fucks them both over because he’s obsessed with the Jedi and uses Politician Lady to his advantage, finds and exploits a vulnerability of hers, destroys her life’s work, and then lets her die to make Jedi Man sad.  The difference is all that one pair said “yeah we aren’t gonna break the rules to be together” and the other said “fuck it yeah we are, let’s do this”
But beneath all of that, they real similarities are different and not at all focused on by the narrative.  Obi Wan and Anakin are extremely different people, as are Padmé and Satine, so their relationship dynamics together will not be the same.  You want to try and compare Obi Wan and Anakin and then compare Satine and Padmé like the crew attempts to, and you can’t, they have the same job but not nearly the same life.  Namely, the funny coincidence is that Obi Wan and Padmé are much more similar in personality, while Anakin and Satine are also much more similar in personality, so the first time they meet again, it’s both Anakin and Satine as the one who’s been pining for over a decade and the one more actively pursuing the relationship, while Obi Wan and Padmé who are more like “uh, hi, wow, you’re hot and this is a Problem because I have a job to do pls don’t look at me like that but also I will Cause Problems On Purpose and flirt with you anyway because I can’t help it”.  I get the Corruption TCW ep with Sati and Pads was mostly intended just to help Satine pass the Bechdel test and also show how similar the two leading lady love interests are, but it was a genuinely creative episode that actually ended up showing how much Satine and Padmé compliment each other instead of mirroring each other, much like Obi Wan and Anakin do.
And, onto my next point, despite the character parallels being wrong, the parallels in the relationship are different too.  Like I said, the parallel isn’t that Obi Wan and Satine aren’t attached like Anakin and Padmé are.  The parallel is that Obitine is actively running from what that attachment means instead of embracing it like Anidala is.  The show would argue that since they try to avoid it, that they are able to live without one another, means they aren’t attached like the Jedi define it, but I argue that they definitely still are attached to a degree because they cannot give each other up.  They held torches for each other from a timerange of 15 YEARS.  Yes I know they spent an entire year together at a young and emotionally volatile point in their lives, but I stand that NO ONE is that hung up on their ex for that long unless there is some serious emotions involved.  Anakin was hung up on Padmé for ten years, and that was because Palpatine was constantly bolstering those affections and reminding him of Padmé.  Obes and Sati both-- or at least Satine, the show always makes Obi Wan’s feelings for Satine in return much more vague --held on to their feelings for five years longer without the influence of a Sith Lord.
And the thing is, they know it.  Obi Wan and Satine are both fully aware that they haven’t been able to shake each other off like they should and that that is a Problem, that’s why they’re both a mite venomous with each other beneath the flirting at first, they’re both extremely frustrated with themselves for not being able to get over this thing they have, and frustrated with the other for being there as an active temptation.
And yet, they still are attached to each other.  They try to avoid it, they definitely try, and that’s what makes them different from Anidala, but they are definitely still attached.  You can see it in Obi Wan’s actions in Voyage of Temptation when Merrik is threatening to blow the ship, the way he hesitates in attacking him because that would be “striking an unarmed man”.  Obi Wan Kenobi does not prefer violence, no, but he has never hesitated to cut a bitch before if it’s for the good of the many.  This is the man who stabbed someone with a fork and threatened to eat him just to maintain his cover as a dangerous criminal.  This is the guy who had no problem killing Zam Wessel for information to protect Padmé.  This is a pragmatist who prefers peaceful solutions, but he does not hesitate if he feels it is a justified offense.  But this time, when an entire shipful of people is at risk, Obi Wan hesitates.  Because he doesn’t want to upset Satine.  Because he’s probably thinking on how she told him that if he had killed the last terrorist they encountered, she wouldn’t speak to him, how she had criticized every time he used violence to escape Death Watch before.  He hesitates because he’s putting her happiness, just for a second, over the sake of duty.  Do I think that if Anakin hadn’t shown up to save their moral compasses, Obi Wan would have eventually taken out Merrik?  Absolutely; hell, I honestly think Satine might have done it.
But the matter was, Merrik could have pressed the kill switch any second of Obi Wan’s hesitation, and Obi Wan knew that, and was hesitating anyway.
I am calling this attachment solely because if the situation was reversed, if this was Anakin and Padmé in this situation, with Anakin not taking out a dangerous criminal because he doesn’t want to upset Padmé (lol ignoring the fact that Pads 1000% would have shot that bitch, and even if she didn’t, Anakin would because he is perfectly fine with hurting his loved ones’ feelings if he feels it’ll keep them safe), god, the narrative would have eaten Anakin alive.  
No, I won’t take criticism.  I know how the show handles the Anidala dynamic.  It would have shown Obi Wan popping up to take out the baddie as him doing the right thing and saving the day, and then Anakin would have been shamed for letting his feelings for his wife get in the way of protecting a shipful of people.  THAT would be the Vader foreshadowing, none of this “only a cold-blooded killer” shit, no way would they ever stick that label on Obi Wan.
So yeah, I’m going off of the fact that if that would have been classified as attachment for Anidala-- which, it would, then. it counts for Obitine.
And then Obi Wan and Satine continue to be hung up on each other for the rest of the eps they’re in, Satine saying in words multiple times how much she loves and cares about him and wishes things could be different, and Obi Wan performing it in actions, risking his own neck and political standing to help her even when she’s a fugitive, probably personally putting in to send his own grandpadawan to help her later.  Right up to the time when Satine decides that she is going to call Obi Wan when she is deposed.  Not the Senate.  Not any powerful politician friends.  Not even the Jedi Order or the Council as a whole.  She calls and addresses her distress call to Obi Wan alone.  And Obi Wan, as now revealed to us by TCW S7, defies Council orders and breaks a century old neutrality treaty to try and bust her, a convicted murderer in the eyes of the Republic and Mandalore, out.  He didn’t even know Maul had her.  Just knew she was in danger and came running to her aid.  He risks starting a potential war to come save her.  They acted so in love that Vizsla was able to guess from being around them for like five seconds, and was able to tell Maul exactly who he would need to bait Obi Wan.
That is where the attachment comes from.  It’s the fact that Obi Wan and Satine tried so, so hard to give each other up and do the right thing, but when it came down to it, they couldn’t lose the other one so they put them first when logically they shouldn’t.  And thus, Satine ended up dead.
Now I know most people will argue with me that actually Filoni means that since they didn’t stay together after the year on the run, THAT is what makes them able to give each other up, and also the fact that Obi Wan didn’t go dark side and murder everyone when Satine died.
But I still think that at least the murder front is a fairly low bar to cross, and anyway, that just because they could live without each other didn’t mean they weren’t still attached.  Anakin and Padmé were apart for 10 years and then even after that, they were apart almost constantly during the war.  Just because they could live apart or even past the other’s death didn’t mean they weren’t attached, as they both still had not let the other go mentally and also broke rules to try and ensure the other would not die, even if the rules said they should let it happen.
So yeah, that’s my big theory.  We can’t compare Obitine with Anidala by saying Obitine was a success story, we compare them by acknowledging that both struggled with attachments and letting the other go, but Obitine at least tried to the bitter end to do the right thing while Anidala didn’t really bother, and both ended up with dead women and broken men regardless, and that is the true sad parallel to me.
44 notes · View notes
inkykeiji · 3 years
Note
ME TOO CLARI ME TOO my fav thing to do is making someone watch a film that i’ve enjoyed nd observe their reaction all the time hehehe i watch their reactions more than the actual movie pffft
moving onto ur fav film list, your fav film list made me SO happy!! i was so excited to see that most of them were films i’ve watched&wholeheartedly enjoyed ( ^ω^ ) FINALLY SOMEONE APPRECIATING THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS YES!! whenever i mention anderson everyone talks ab the grand budapest hotel so im so happy to see u enjoyed the royal tenenbaums 🥺 also omg u watched burning?!? isn’t it such an amazing film <3 also reservoir dogs and little women and spirited away and ahh i could go on and on forever ab ur list but this ask would be a whole essay so i’ll force myself to hold in cri cri
horror movies are so fascinating aren’t they!!! i love em sm too <3 ari aster n jordan peele r my fav favs when it comes to horror. +the shining and scream! i enjoyed the conjuring series as well :) wait can i drop u a rec, since u love horror i totally recommend a tale of two sisters by kim. one of my all time favs&i have a strong feeling u would love it too! that film has such beautiful cinematography as well (✿╹◡╹)
ahhh my fav films r like, all over the place cuz i don’t have a strong preference/taste, but some of my fav films (that aren’t mentioned above/in ur list) include jojo rabbit-waititi, the florida project-baker, dazed and confused-linklater, moonlight-jenkins, girl interrupted-mangold, your name-makoto, mid90s-hill, lady bird-gerwig, uncut gems-safdie and etc etc so many more but i feel like im oversharing hehehe i also love action movies too but that’s a whole different discussion ;)
honestly u can recommend me anything u want cuz my taste is all over the place like i said, but to narrow it down, hmmm 🤔 is there a movie that u think is a must-watch? or genre-wise, maybe horror/action/drama/coming of age!! love u so so much clari<33 how is tumblr allowing me to write this much huh -🐰
ehehehe okay i’m gonna answer under the cut because i knoooow i’m gonna ramble
RIGHT and like idek why i guess i just love sharing the things i love with the people i care about and observing how they feel about it???
AHAHAHA YESSSSS oh my gosh i love the royal tenenbaums so much!! like my favourite wes film is either fantastic mr fox or rushmore, but yes!! grand budapest is rly pretty tho and i think that’s why so many people gravitate towards it yk? I DID WATCH BURNING actually i was super lucky and got to watch it at TIFF before it ‘officially’ premiered + there was a lil q&a with the cast and director (w a translator ehehe) but it absolutely blew me away. i’m just in love with korean cinema as a whole. i have yet to watch a korean film that i don’t like!!
little women is just !!!!!!! i love greta so much and i can’t wait to see what else she creates; i just feel like greta is a woman director creating films FOR WOMEN. does that make sense??? well-known women directors are already so sparse, but there are some (ie bigelow) who create uhhhhhh films that cater more towards men and the masses??? and that’s not to say that bigelow isn’t a fantastic director, because she IS, but i really like sofia coppola and greta gerwig because their films are so feminine and focused on feminine issues and relationships that we really don’t see on widespread/popular screens (like at first run theatres ie multiplexes).
RESERVOIR DOGS AAAAAAAH listen listen i have A Thing for mr. blonde ehehehe yeah i really love quentin, as i mentioned. whenever someone says pulp fiction is his best film i really have to refrain from rolling my eyes, and i know that makes me sound like suuuuch a snob but like,,,,,,,,,, pulp fiction is his most popular film, not his best (in MY opinion!! since art is all personal opinion yk etc etc). and like i could go on forever about him, i love every single one of his films, i think he’s such a fantastic writer and just aaaaah <333333 love quentin’s work so so so much.
ARI ASTER AND JORDAN PEELE ARE FANTASTIC. i wrote an essay on get out and it was literally one of my favourite essays to write!! i’m really really really excited to see what both of them continue to create!! OOOOH I LOOKED IT UP AND YEAH IT LOOKS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY i will add it to the list n get back to you!!!
aaaaah ur taste!!! dw clearly my taste is all over the place too ahahaha i just love cinema so much, i’m always eager to watch new films and literally always feel overwhelmed with just how many i want to watch ehehehe. OH MY GOD YOUR NAME MADE ME SOB LIKE A BABY such a beautiful film!!!!!! loved it so so so much. eeeee i actually hate action movies ahahahaha 🙈🙈🙈
hmmm i’m gonna try n go with ‘must watch’ films just because i feel like i’ve already mentioned so many in most of those genres n you’ve already seen most of them, so!!
ladri di biciclette by de sica
masculin, feminin and pierrot le fou by godard
news from home by akerman (if you can find it, it can be a lil difficult to track down but if ur school has a decent film library/collection they should have it!!)
rome, open city by rossellini
in the mood for love by wong kar-wai
the 400 blows by truffaut
hotel by the river by hong sangsoo (i literally love this film so fucking much my gosh like another one we saw at TIFF one year and just !!!!!!!)
full metal jacket by kubrick
apocalypse now by coppola
bride of frankenstein by whale
nosferatu by murnau (honestly anything german expressionism is worth watching esp the cabinet of dr caligari and metropolis, too,, i just really love german expressionism lmaoooo)
peeping tom by powell
king kong (1933) by cooper + schoedsack
aaaah like tbh i’d be surprised if you didn’t know/watch these, too!! like, i feel like they’re fairly common in film programs but!!! recommending films to another film student is hard cause i’m sitting here like ‘well, they most likely know all of the american/hollywood ‘must watch’ films’, but then i’m all ‘but if they’re a film student, there’s a good chance they’ve watched these, too’ so aaaah idk i hope some of these are new to you, at least!!! i kinda just thought about my favourite cinema movements and picked a film or two from each ahahahaha
SORRY I WROTE U A MINI ESSAY LMAO JUST RAAAAMBLING but !!! i can’t wait to hear more about ur cinema adventures!!! lmk if you’ve seen any on the rec list omg omg and once again sorry it took me so long to finish answering this :((
3 notes · View notes
silverlightqueen · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Just as my head hits the pillow, I hear a knock at the door. Supressing a sigh, I drag my tired body out of bed and pull open the door to see Jimin stood there, his hair a mess after running his hands through it like he always does, in just a pair of grey shorts half-way down his thighs and a plain white t-shirt. ‘Jimin?’ I say in confusion, and his seemingly stressed face softens into a gentle smile. ‘Hey, daisy. Can I come in? I just wanted to speak to you,’ he says, and I nod, moving aside to let him in, feeling slightly worried. ‘Wait, were you just about to go to sleep?’ he asks as I shut the door, noticing my messed-up bed sheets, and I shake my head. ‘Don’t lie to me, daisy. Why else is your bed such a mess? And you’re in your cute pyjamas,’ he says with a grin as he takes a seat on the end of the bed, eyes traipsing up and down my body, clad in just a pair of pink satin pyjamas and a pink eye mask resting around my neck. ‘I wasn’t! I was about to watch TV!’ I say, and he raises an eyebrow, not pressing the issue any further as I take a seat beside him, crossing my legs and facing him.
‘So what’s up?’ I ask, slightly nervous, and the grin slowly disappears from his face, becoming more solemn. ‘I was supposed to speak to you during the day, before the show, but I didn’t get a chance after we all woke up so late. And then I noticed that… you were a bit a sad at one point during the show,’ he says, and I know exactly which point he’s referring to. Namjoon gave a little bit of a statement during our show, just to clear up the confusion after last night, and all I could think about was Jimin running into one of his booty calls in the club. ‘Oh… yeah, um, I guess I was. But, um, I wasn’t sad about you, I was sad at the thought of you and JK fighting because you’re such good friends and-’ I ramble and Jimin hold us a hand, cutting me off. ‘You don’t have to lie to me. I know you were sad at the whole booty call thing. I just want to apologise, y/n. I don’t know if any of the boys told you, but I’ve stopped with my… ‘different-girl-every-night’ habit. I know we’ve only known each other a little while, and we used to hate each other, but you’ve somehow managed to worm your way into my heart with your crackhead ass behaviour,’ he says, and I supress a laugh, my heart warm. ‘I’m usually very cold and I don’t really open up to anyone. I’m only the way I am with the boys and with our staff because I’ve been around them so long, and I grew to love them. But with you… there’s just something about you that makes me… makes me want to make you smile and make you happy. And I can live without sex every night, if it’s something that would make you happy. As Yoongi hyung said, I’ll use my hand like every other young man does,’ he says, and I shout out in disgust, covering my ears, trying not to think about Jimin… using his hand. He chuckles at my reaction, and I smile at him.
‘I appreciate that, Jimin, I really do. I guess I was a bit upset about the whole… booty call thing, but not because I disagree with the ‘sex-every-night’ thing. It was more because… well, I don’t know, I guess I just… I kinda feel a connection with you. I didn’t ever think it was possible to click with someone, and feel so comfortable with someone, in such a short space of time. I feel at home when I’m with you, and it’s too early to even try to work out what it is that I feel, but I know that I care for you and I enjoy your company. And that I don’t want to think about you having sex with a random girl in a club,’ I say honestly, and he bursts out laughing at the last part, before taking my hand into his (only slightly) bigger one, silver rings cool against my skin. ‘Thank you for telling me the truth, and I guess I’m the same. It is too early to try and discuss anything like this, so I suggest that we just go with the flow, don’t rule anything out, but don’t rush into anything either. What do you think?’ he asks with hope in his big eyes, and my heart flutters. ‘That sounds like a plan,’ I say, watching a grin appear on his face, his eyes practically disappearing, and before I can stop myself from doing so, I pull him closer to me, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.
When I move back, his face looks neutral, just a small smile on his lips, but the surprise in his widened eyes betrays him. I feel proud of myself for making such a cool and collected man flustered, even if he tries to hide it. He brings my hand up to his mouth, pressing his plump and soft lips against my skin, looking up at me through his cute, curly lashes. ‘You’re so cute, daisy,’ he murmurs against my hand, and now it’s my turn to be flustered as my shoulders lift up unconsciously, a shy smile spreading across my face. He lets out a laugh at my state and I pout at him, feeling cold when he releases my hand. ‘D’you wanna stay?’ I ask, and he raises his eyebrows, making me realise what I just said. ‘Wait, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, d’you wanna stay and watch TV or something with me? I was just about to start watching Me Before You,’ I offer, and he pretends to think for a moment. ‘Hmm, I mean, I guess I could stay if you want me to that bad,’ he says, and I shove him gently, coaxing a laugh from him. ‘Don’t try to be mean, daisy,’ he teases, ‘you’re far too adorable for that.’
Tumblr media Tumblr media
part twenty-two - JinHit
daisies
(idol!au - crack, fluff, smut, angst)
←previous
next→
a/n: it’s been a while !! I doubt many people will read this, but for those of you that will, here’s a bit of an update. I only have two weeks of school left (thank god) and then it’s summertime bitches !! 🎉 well, first I have two weeks of touring universities around the area and then it’s summer (so four more weeks but who’s counting? me, i’m counting sksks). I got a job the other day working up in the boxes and lounges at my local football club on match days so i’ll be waitressing for all the richies (maybe get myself some big tips and a sugar daddy🤩🤑) but I was so happy because I applied, they called me in for an interview like two days later, and just gave me the job on the spot, I didn’t even have to do an interview (I guess i’m just that good💁🏽‍♀️). the friend of mine that Vic is based off is no longer my friend bc she’s toxic and trash sksks 🗑 . But yeah, I think that’s it! lmk what y’all think of this part and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist !!💕
au masterlist
silverlightqueen masterlist
taglist💕: @khaoticamour @rjsmochii @minniestudies @oodlespadoodle @shay-the-turtle @yasbts705 @goldenchemistry @arvbellas @anothershorthuman @knadiuniverse @golden-pixie-dust-200 @onlinewhale @maknaeroni @sweetchocolategoblin @conslack @missbowkimjinju @pocketfullofsuga @booklover240 @dimple-jungkook @squishyshit @sakurauchiha2018 @keylowmonie @untainted-memories
204 notes · View notes
mattyslittleworld · 6 years
Text
1 up top ahk
Over the last week or two I’ve had to time to reflect of things that have been lingering in a negative way. But since I’ve been running fast, I’ve been pushing it aside and smothering it. I think all of this music I’ve been making, all of these collaborations, photoshoots, video shoots, traveling and just over all activation is me out running and avoiding Bepa passing away. I don’t think my mind could really handle that...ever. Everyone goes through this and everyone is stronger than me. I’m a coward. I walked away from that and never looked back and avoided it entirely. But very recently passing through the kitchen I’ll look at the family pictures instead of subconsciously turning my head. I feel it slowly coming back to me in reality like a dream becoming real. That friendship seems like a dream, like when I think of it and that dude as soon as it seems to become tangible it disappears. I get lost in those moments a few times a day. Something in my mind broke that day but in a beautiful way. I became a man. I’ve dealt with enough loss in my life to think I was good but this was a challenge. This was get up and change your life. Stop sitting around crying about these people who make fun of you, stop running around in this same circle, stop chasing your tail. Man up and do something with your life. But in the most beautiful way that was like believe in yourself. He was one of the only ones who believed in me, so bedside I had to make a promise to myself to do this shit for him. I’ve since met the most beautiful people, met a beautiful girl, and really came a long way just as a human. Me and Belv played an acoustic show in Asbury with some great people then immediately had to go to this club because we had a walk through. It was a college club on a Thursday - line around the block. Kids EVERYWHERE and lights dancing it was just so insane. We got rushed through the back door, through the kitchen and behind the DJ booth and he debuted our new single F Being Friends and it was crazy seeing ny voice go up in a club like that. It’s also so weird being a straight edge hardcore kid in this whole other world. I always thought my musical life would move forward within an underground culture but instead it flourished in a pop normie mainstream world and it’s a culture shock. So the owner of the club was feeding us all drinks, all heavy alcohol except the Red Bull’s she kept handing me. I was wired white girl sugar wasted dancing to gods plan like nobody’s business. Then we shot back to the show we played an hour before and it was all love. The juxtaposition of these two genres being parallel with each other is so funny to me I love it. Belv hit me last minute to be in this documentary about Hip Hop and the growth of it in the area. It’s with the producers of Impractical Jokers, and featured in it is Method Man, Bon Jovi, hella poppin DJs and it was a blessing. It was setup like drink champs we all sat in a circle in the back of a cigar shop. Cameras everywhere and everyone was smoking and it was just open discussion. It was wild. Belv squashed a crazy beef on camera between him and some crip and it made me happy. I don’t think a lot of those kids knew how much about rap I know and been a part of. I think they just think I’m the white kid next to Belv. But I’ve been a part of this culture since I was in middle school from rapping, to making beats on demo versions of Fruity Loops to painting graffiti on 287, freight and clean trains, to being around gang culture because I was always fighting. So when I had a strong opinion I think people were taken back. I think everyone should have a strong opinion about Shit they care about in general. It means you got passion. I felt grateful to be a part of that experience and the other documentary we are in. I didn’t really realize what dark city lights is doing because I’m always onto the next shit but I’m proud and happy it was a POSITIVE mark on this little subculture. This morning I signed some papers for my album. Put the order in for vinyl. And it has a release date. What a trip. Striking deals as an independent artist, with the same companies everybody my age is striking, as a signed artist. I learned from watching the absolute nothing these people are getting. It’s insane. Go against the grain and don’t conform. These people don’t know shit about anything and I swear they walk around like their gods knowing what’s good. I’m literally ready for Christmas. Like let’s fucking get it. Snow Christmas trees lights frank Sinatra fireplaces cute porches. Who’s going to come with me this Christmas and drive around Asbury looking at cute porches? Lmk. I’m rambling now. I’m happy. I’m drinking my pumpkin spice coffee outside typing this on my phone while I listen to music. Waiting for Rob to come by so we can kill off these two videos. After that we got a few more and were Gucci. I can’t wait to finish this song with Chad B, it’s fire. Same with Arsonal. They’re two great artists that I think are gunna be stoked when they hear this shit. I like working with people like this and offering them something they don’t already got and kinda taking a step back and looking at their catalogue and being like okay this is a hole I can fill. But you gotta be super dialed into the game to understand the threshold of what’s even possible within the realm of failure and success and where an idea could fall between those two. I dropped a flier with 4 shows I’m doing in Canada. I had an interesting outcome with that. People were hitting me up like crazy which I loved but it’s wild to think oh shit a lot of these new people are form a foundation that is built off of this new attention from the past year. They haven’t seen that what I do and been doing for 10 years is touring. So to get that reaction as if I’ve never done this was a TRIP and I LOVED it but wild. Tour is what I do and what we do and the end goal. I’ve toured 14/15 countries arguably 16 as an indie artist in 3 different genres from basements to arenas then took a year off to record and now these little dates are to just get back in the saddle. Okay robs here back to work I go. Brb. Okay I’m back. It’s 3:39 am and I’m pounding coffee in unreleased 115 merch editing all these music videos. I killed off 2 tonight. I’m a psycho and need everything to be how I envision it so I have to direct and edit everything myself. It’s such a good feeling having this shit done. I’m now watching the new Mozzy press run for his new album. I love this dude he’s such a poet it’s crazy. Pac of the modern times. I run miles to his music and when my life was down his records really pushed me to better myself. That and wins and losses by meek. So crazy. When your backs up against the wall and it feels like it’s you against the world that’s some good work to push through it. I haven’t been seeing daylight too much or having much human contact these days. I can’t wait to just get back into the world after taking care of all of this. I pray that this shit opens doors and is accepted well, if not I’m proud of it all. The other night I was driving around and ended up in Asbury and I hit the Gallery real quick and there was a sea hear now event and I walked in and Danny and Rachel told me to play a song and threw me a guitar and within minutes I was on stage with Danny and it really dawned on me how beautiful life is. How is that possible? To see music touch people. To be a part of that. To be wanted to sing. To kind hearted actions of these beautiful people is so inspiring and I’m a student to them when it comes to being the best person I can possibly be. Saturday Jesse Malin is playing the fest and I wanna catch his set then shoot up to Rahway and catch Albee Al at his jersey show. I’m stoked and happy. I’m gunna be up all night and day again. Probably going to go for a walk and listen to music. I feel inspired and I feel humbled. Stay inspired stay weird stay young and stay hungry!!!!!!!
0 notes