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javierpena-inatacvest · 5 months

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Chapter 17- No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

Summary: You and Javi are continuing to make progress on building your new house, until a few distractions are thrown your way that you definitely weren't expecting.

Word Count: 12.3K (how bad is it that I'm like, wow! What an average length for a chapter! Well done, me!)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), HELLO, STRAP IN EVERYONE. unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), romantic? ANAL (you guys, I'm sweating), vaginal fingering, anal fingering, oral (f receiving), rimjob (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink, insecurity but Javi being our consent KING and literally taking such good care of you (but would we expect anything less?!), Javi with dogs (hehehehe), everyone say thank you to our favorite village idiots Carter and Miller for helping out Javi and Osita (you'll see!!)

A/N: If there are two words to sum up the plot of this chapter, it is butts and dogs (if you watch Bluey, yes, the puppy is named after Muffin LMAO) 💀 I am so sorry this chapter took FOREVER, 1) Life has been crazy busy (parent teacher conferences sucked the life out of me for like a full week), and 2) I would be lying if I said I was not shakin' in my boots to post this bc I have never written legit butt stuff smut (say that 3 times fast) before and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, so if you don't wanna read this chapter/skip the smut I will not be offended at all!! Also for my non-American friends, Home Depot is like a giant hardware store (that also sells hot dogs that absolutely slap) Okay, that's all, love y'all more than words, forehead kisses for all of you!! 😙 also please laugh at the name of this chapter I thought it was funny as hell, I'm crackin myself up

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“Okay, we have paint samples, countertop samples, carpet samples, sheets of drywall, toilets that are ordered can come get picked up on Tuesday, and we can let Danny know they finally have those screws he’s been looking for back in stock. That’s everything, right? Please say that’s everything.” You sighed, going over your home project to-do list for what felt like the 47th time before exiting out of Home Depot for what also felt like the 147th time this week.

What had started as a plot of land and and a head full of ideas was slowly but surely becoming reality as progress on your new home came to fruition- as winter faded into spring, your house began to grow and change with the seasons, bare bones wooden beams and dirt of a few months ago now becoming walls, floors and roofs of the new place you’d spend forever in. While it was exciting to move into the stages of actually deciding what the inside of your home should look like (not just shape and size), it felt like you and Javi had been making a million and one decisions every day related to something to do with the house, and unfortunately, this Sunday night was no exception.

“No, I think that’s everything.” Javi nodded, scanning over the wrinkled piece of paper in his hands once more.

“We might as well just start changing our permanent address to this Home Depot. I’m pretty sure the employees are convinced we live here at this point.” You laughed, resting one hand on your hip, the other full of the sample swatches you and Javi needed to look at when you got home. “You sure that’s everything? Honestly, even if it’s not, let’s face it, we’ll be here some point later this week anyways. At least now it’s getting to the fun stuff- Paint and floors is a lot more fun than plumbing and electrical.”

“I know. We’re almost there, Osita. Danny said 8 to 10 more weeks last time I talked to him.”

“Over/under on how many more trips we make to Home Depot between now and then. I’m gonna say 56.”

“You’re such a dork. I fucking hope it’s not 56.”

The two of you made your way out to the parking lot with hands full of goods, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the other buildings of the shopping center- a Chinese restaurant, a laundry mat, a building that had been under construction since your frequent trips to Home Depot began, and a pet store.

You and Javi had tried the Chinese restaurant once, a few bites in simultaneously agreeing it was 100% the worst food you had ever had, never needed to go to the laundry mat, and god knows what the mystery building was getting turned into. You had, however, always wanted to go into the pet store, knowing it would be fun to walk around and look at the animals since it was something you loved doing as a kid with your brothers. But by the time the two of you were done with your hardware shopping, your brain was too fried to ever ask Javi if he wanted to go in and check things out as an entertaining thing to do. Tonight probably would have been no exception to the rule, but that was before you noticed the big sign posted in front of the store reading “Dog Adoption Event Today!”

You and Javi had both agreed you had wanted to get a dog- that was something the two of you had easily agreed upon early on in your relationship- but like most things nowadays, you were waiting until the house was finished and you were out of the apartment before looking into getting one. You knew that going to look at dogs before the two of you could really do anything about it was a bad idea, but the longer you stared at that sign, the less and less willpower you began to have to keep yourself from running over there.

“Jav.” You nudged, the two of you almost to Javi’s truck before stopping in your tracks, gesturing over to the pet store. Javi paused next to you, taking a moment to read the bright bold letters of the sign, letting out a deep sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Baby, you know we can’t get a dog right now. Believe me, I want one too, but we gotta wait until the house is done first.”

“I know. Can we just go look? Please?” While your puppy dog eyes were no match compared to Javi’s, you pouted your lip just about as far as it could go, batting your lashes at him with a pitiful frown on your face. You had no idea how Javi was ever going to be able to say no to your kids if he was already immediately caving from your silly, overexaggerated begging, let alone his own sweet brown eyes staring back at tiny versions of him. Regardless, right now, Javi’s lack of iron will was working in your favor, letting out another small sigh, contemplating for a moment before nodding his head in agreement.

“Fine. But just looking, okay?” He muttered, almost as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you.

“Yes! Thank you! I promise, just looking… Probably.” You grinned, changing directions and speed walking across the parking lot towards the pet shop. Javi laughed to himself, shaking his head as he followed behind you.

“I heard that.”

As you walked through the front doors of the pet store, you were greeted with the sounds of high pitched barks and yaps, joining the few people gathered by the pen set up to contain the litter of what looked to be a mix of cattle dogs and something shorter and stumpier, the brown and cream speckled puppies bouncing and playing with the toys, blankets, and other littermates in the cage with them. You audibly let out a gasp as you looked down at the pure adorableness of the sweet little balls of fluff below you, squatting down next to the pen to get a better look at the group of puppies.

“Oh my god, they’re so cute. Javi, they’re so freaking cute. Hi lil babies, aren’t you the most precious things ever?” You cooed, holding the back of your hand up to the cage for the playful puppies to sniff, their tiny bodies toppling over each other to smell you.

As much as Javi wanted to be tough and strong willed to try and prove a point, you were right- these puppies were the cutest things he’d seen in a long time. Crouching down next to you, he glanced over, giving you the I told you this was a bad idea look that you knew you were bound to get from him the moment you saw the puppies.

“They are really fucking cute.” Javi sighed in reluctant agreement, bringing his hand down by yours to try and pet some of the puppies through the cage.

“Oh hi there! I see you two found the puppies!” An employee, an older woman with curly gray hair, smiled down at the two of you, gesturing towards the pen full of tiny, yapping pups. “Are you interested in adopting one?” You and Javi looked up at her, each of you letting out a deep breath before speaking at the same time, your answers lacking unison.

“No.”

“Maybe.” You quietly whispered under Javi’s no, letting out a little shrug, eyes darting away towards Javi to spare yourself from the eye roll you knew he was giving you from your response. “No, we’re not…” You finally agreed, giving another pouty, sad look to Javi. “We really want one, but we’re in an apartment right now and are moving into a house soon. We’re waiting until then to get one. Although these guys are making it very hard to keep it that way.”

“I can understand that.” The woman laughed, a playful grin spread across her face, clearly sensing your willpower about the situation was much weaker than Javi’s. “Well, even if you’re not interested in adopting one right now, you’re more than welcome to pick them up or play with them! It’s good for them to practice being handled anyways.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Immediately, you stood up, bending over the edge of the pen to pick up one of the puppies closest to you, cuddling it against your chest as it squirmed and wiggled in your grasp. You sat bag down on the floor, cross legged as you cradled the puppy, eyes almost as wide and sweet as the dog you were now holding. “What’s this one’s name?” You asked the woman, carefully setting it down between your legs to let it bounce around.

“That one is Muffin. He’s a feisty one, but a sweetheart.” She beamed, slowly bending down to pick up one of the stuffed toys in the cage, handing it over to Javi. Before you knew it, Muffin was scooting out of your lap and bolting over to Javi and the plush rabbit he was holding in his hands, making the both of you giggle at his goofy, floppy gallop. Javi held out the toy in front of him, a smile spreading across his face as Muffin bit down into the rabbit, shaking it in his mouth, tugging back at Javi’s grip on the stuffed animal. Any shred of stubbornness Javi was trying to hold out on was long gone, smiling and snickering just as wide as you as Muffin hopped into Javi’s lap, curling up with his toy in his mouth.

Javi was like a little kid, practically giggling as he grabbed the stuffed rabbit and tossed it along the floor, watching Muffin slip and slide across the linoleum before pouncing on the toy and trotting back to Javi with it in his mouth.

“Good boy! You’re smart, aren’t you?” Javi grinned, tugging at the toy before looking back at you and your look, screaming, So much for just looking, huh? without having to say a word. “He is really cute.” Javi admitted, trying his best to keep his composure from completely crumbling. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, giving each other the look that made you seriously contemplate if you were going home with a puppy today, until you looked back down at Muffin, now hunched over Javi’s foot, pee dribbling down his shoe.

“Oh shit!” You grimaced, reaching up to pick up Muffin mid-stream, scooting him over to finish peeing on the floor instead of on Javi.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!” The woman gasped, grabbing some towels next to the cage, handing them off to Javi for him to wipe the pee off his shoe. “That is the thing with puppies, the potty training does take a while.”

You were trying your best not to burst out into laughter as you picked Muffin back up, putting him back in the pen with the rest of his brothers and sisters, giving Javi and apologetic shrug at his current circumstances, knowing it was not helping your in any way shape or form to bring a puppy back to your apartment. “No it’s all good, no worries.” Javi smiled, wiping off his shoe with the towel and giving it a quick shake with a reluctant sigh, grounding him back in reality.

“Can’t be any worse than stepping in a pile of cow poop.” You teased as Javi looked down in disappointment at his shoe, finally beginning to shake his head and laugh along with you. “Alright, you win, Mr. Reasonable. Muffin has made a very good case for no puppies at the apartment.”

“Eventually baby, I promise.” Javi smirked, giving you a little nudge, the two of you waving goodbye to the cuteness corralled in the kennel behind you, finally making your way back to the car after your detour.

Well… So much for that plan.

“What about this one?”

“Baby, I don’t know, at this point, they all just look like the same color.” You sighed, slumping your hand in your face, resting your elbow on the kitchen table where you and Javi sat, paint swatches spread across the wooden surface, among scattered samples of carpet, countertops and backsplash tiles. “I don’t think my brain can make any more house decisions tonight.”

“Me either.” Javi huffed, reaching across the table to organize the paint sample cards into a pile next to the stack of other house things that now seemed to have a permanent home with you during dinner time. “I had no fucking idea there were so many goddamn shades of beige.”

“It definitely doesn’t help that we’re trying to just pick through different shades of brown instead of fun colors.” You laughed, gathering the samples in front of you and stacking them in Javi’s pile as he stood up, pushing in his chair and making his way to the other side of the table where you sat, coming behind you to drape his arms over your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as you leaned your head back into his chest, wrapping your arms around his to pull him closer.

“Fun colors? What, you wanna paint the house purple, Hermosa?” Javi smiled, giving you a little shake in your chair making you giggle.

“No, you dork. I was actually thinking more hot pink or neon green.” You retorted, giving Javi a nudge back tiling your head up towards him. “No, I don’t know, I know we want something neutral through the house but like, it’ll be fun to pick cute paint colors when we have kids and stuff.”

Javi squeezed you a little tighter, his heart warming at the thought of when they’d get to do this again when there were actually kids in the picture to fill the empty rooms of their house. No matter how many times you and Javi talked about it, he was sure he’d never get over the fact that you wanted to have a family with him. It was a dream that had come and gone for him all those years ago, resigning himself to a life of simply surviving, even after he had returned home to Laredo. But now, the fact that dream was in reach, and undoubtedly in the near future had him beaming, knowing there was no one else in the world he wanted to spend the rest of his life and build a family with beside you, and that for some reason he still couldn’t quite comprehend, you felt the same way.

While you had agreed that you would wait until you were married and your house was completely finished before you started trying and your birth control made its permanent home in the trash, with every day that he got closer to marrying you, finalizing your house and starting the newest chapter of your lives together, Javi couldn’t help but feel a want, no, a need, to start a family with you- to fulfill a purpose he so desperately craved to be a father.

“Well…” Javi grinned, leaning back down to kiss your neck, his pecks becoming much more tender and slow with each press of his lips, “you could let me put a baby in you right now, and we could pick out fun paint colors along with the borning brown ones. Got a lot of rooms we need to fill and paint, Osita.”

“Javier Peña! You are a menace! You have to stop with the baby talk, or I swear, you’re about to make me cave in and crumble. You are testing every ounce of willpower I have.” You sighed, shaking your head as you looked up, entranced by Javi’s sweet brown eyes and their powerful effects.

While you and Javi both had undeniable cases of baby fever ever since you had gotten engaged, there was something about knowing you were about to have your own house with 4 extra rooms, solely built for the purpose of being filled with your kids that drove you, and even worse, Javi, absolutely crazy. In the past few weeks, the house had taken shape enough to finally have rooms that actually looked like rooms, Javi making it a point every time the two of you went over to check on progress, to point out just how good the spare bedrooms looked, like he was the most proud of those 4 extra rooms more than any other space in the house.

The irrational part of you would have given him a baby yesterday, but the rational part of you knew you wanted to be married and have every last inch of that house finished before you brought a baby there. But every time Javi saw those bedrooms, looking at you with that big, goofy grin on his face for his children that didn’t even exist yet, oh god, did it make you want to say fuck it to every ounce of rationality you had left.

“I think you have baby fever worse than I do, Jav. And that’s saying something.” You teased, reaching up to scrunch his cheeks. With another little giggle and content sigh, you pushed yourself up out of your chair, coming around the back of it to get the slightest running start to jump on him, full koala style, wrapping your arms and legs around his broad back, making the two of you burst out in laughter as he spun you around while you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, covering him with little kisses. “I love you so much. You’re gonna be such a good dad, you know that?”

“I love you too, Osita. I hope I am. I want to be.” Javi sighed, a hopeful half smile pursed between his lips, causing you to cup both your hands around his face, forcing him to look at you.

“You will be. I promise.” Tilting your head in, you pressed a soft, tender kiss onto his lips, lingering just a little longer than normal for your added reassurance. “Alright, I gotta get down now though, we have dishes we have to put away, and I have to shower tonight since I have a staff meeting tomorrow morning before school and I don’t wanna have to get up earlier than I need to.”

“Un beso más (One more kiss).” Javi smiled, gripping a little tighter on your thighs wrapped around his legs, refusing to let go until you fulfilled his request.

“Solamente un beso más? Por qué no dos? Tres? (Only one more? Why not 2? 3?)” You giggled, one of your hands running through the thick curls of his hair, while the other traced soft circles along his jawline.

“Me gustaría darte todos los besos, Osita. Te daría cualquier cosa. (I’d give you all the kisses, Osita. I’d give you anything.)” Leaning in, your mouths met again in a soft and sweet moment, a kiss that felt like he meant it- He would give you the world if you asked for it, and then some.

“God, I could kiss you forever. Alright, Romeo, put me down, we got things to do, and if you don’t, I know for a fact none of those things are getting done.”

“Fine.” He sighed overdramatically, letting your legs fall to the floor as he released his grasp. “I’ll clean up dinner and you can go take a shower.”

“I can help with cleaning up, Jav. You made dinner, the least I can do is-”

“Go get your ass in the shower. I’ll clean it up.” He smiled, planting a kiss on the top of your head before gesturing towards the bathroom, making you cross your arms over your chest with an unseriously stern look on your face.

“Are you trying to tell me that I smell? Rude. Sure you’re not the one who needs to shower after your foot got covered in piss?” You raised an eyebrow at him, trying your best not to laugh.

“Go shower, you dork.” Javi chuckled, giving your ass a playful slap as you parted ways, sticking your tongue out at him as you disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom.

After a long, and even hotter shower than usual (considering you didn’t have to account for Javi’s temperature complaints), you wrapped yourself up in your towel and headed back to your room, where you found Javi laying in bed, reading one of the books you had been teasing him about for the past few weeks as it sat on his nightstand, unopened, even though he insisted he really was going to read it soon. As if the fact that him finally opening up and reading the book wasn’t enough to taunt him about, the way his face scrunched as he squinted at the pages certainly was.

“You doin’ alright over there, Grandpa? Jav, you just have to give in and get glasses, you know you can’t see anything, stop trying to fight it.” You giggled, your appearance in the bedroom catching Javi’s attention, making him rest his open book over his stomach.

“I don’t need glasses. I can see just fine. I’d look stupid in them, anyways.” He grumbled, refusing to admit that you were right even though he knew just as well as you that his eyesight was definitely not what it once was. He let out another sigh, dogearring the page of his book and setting it on his nightstand, his grumpy demeanor quickly shifting as you gave him that playful smirk you always did when you wanted to rub something in to prove your point. You let out another laugh as Javi rolled his eyes at you, shifting himself on the bed to lay on his side, face resting in his palm with those sweet puppy dog eyes that never left your sight any time he watched you get ready, even if all it meant was putting on one of his oversized shirts and sleep shorts to go to sleep in.

“Yeah, okay.” You replied, your voice oozing with sarcasm. “And you wouldn’t look stupid in glasses, you look hot in anything, and I’m sure you would look extra hot with 20/20 vision.”

“Pendejo…”

“You love me.”

The two of you laughed as you shuffled through the drawers of your dresser, pulling out one of Javi’s t shirts to wear to bed along with a pair of underwear and cotton shorts, piling the clothes next to you as you unwrapped your towel drying yourself off once more before letting it drop to the floor so you could change. You could see Javi’s reflection staring back at you, more specifically, your ass in the mirror, an awestruck and lustful look growing in his eyes as you reached over to pick up your shirt.

“I can literally feel your eyes burning a hole through my ass, Jav.” You sassed, smirking back at him through the mirror as you watched him bite down on his lip.

“Fuck, I love your ass so much, you know that?” Javi rasped, his tongue gently darting between his lips, eyes still locked on your behind.

“Yes, Javi, you are very adamant about letting me know how much you love it.” You snickered, slipping his shirt over your head, followed pair your pair of underwear, opting to completely forgo your shorts to play into his comment. You crawled up into bed next to him, nudging him over so his back laid on the mattress and you laid on top of him, pressing a soft, slow kiss against his lips as his hands roamed down your back, sneaking under the hem of your shirt to knead the soft flesh of your ass, letting out a low groan as your mouths met.

“Because it’s fucking perfect.” He hummed, gripping his fingertips even deeper into your skin after sliding them under the thin, cotton fabric covering it.

“Wow, someone’s in a mood about my butt tonight. Didn’t know your giant t-shirt and my plain ass underwear was really doin’ it for ya.” You joked, a little grin spread across your face as you ran your hands through Javi’s hair before sliding them down his face to cup his jaw. It didn’t take long for you to realize that the look on Javi’s face had quickly turned from one of lust to deep thought, his brow scrunched and nostrils flared, making you tilt your head in confusion. “What’s wrong?” You asked, immediately noticing the shift in his demeanor. “You only get that look when you’re really thinking hard about something, or you have to fart and you’re trying to hold it in, and I’m really hoping it’s not the second one.”

Your comment was enough to snap him out of his own thoughts, making him shake his head as the two of you laughed, Javi still holding back slightly as his eyes shifted down towards the mattress, practically hearing the gears in his brain turning, when all of a sudden, it clicked with you.

Oh shit.

The combination of his stare down and silence told you everything you needed to know.

You tilted his chin back up towards your face, a curious smirk stretched between your lips as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“You wanna fuck my ass, don’t you?”

Your voice was sweet and sultry, immediately making Javi’s face go blank in shock that you had connected the dots before he had even said anything. You could hear your heart pounding in your chest almost as loudly as Javi’s, a nervous swarm of butterflies filling your stomach as you waited for him to respond.

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it before. There had been plenty of times that Javi had put a thumb or fingers in your ass when he fucked you from behind, and holy shit, did it feel good whenever he did it. You’d honestly debated bringing it up before, but there was a part of you that could never bring yourself to do it because you never had, and you couldn’t help but feel nervous about it.

It wasn’t that you didn't trust Javi- You’d trust him with your whole life without a second thought. There had never been a time since the moment you first had sex that your comfort wasn’t always his first priority. But with how full Javi felt inside you with just a thumb or a finger, couldn’t help but make you feel a little worried with how big he’d feel with his whole dick inside your ass.

You also couldn’t help but feel a preemptive guilt if it ended up being too much and you had to ask him to stop, not that he would ever make you feel bad about it, but still, you couldn’t help but play out worse case scenarios in your head. But something about that look in his face as he stared you down in the mirror and head turning deep in thought was enough to spark that little flame of confidence you had brewing and beat him to the punch.

“Hermosa…” He paused, the Adam's apple of his throat bobbing as he gulped, taking an anxious deep breath. “Baby, I-”

“Do you?”

The tightened grip of his fingers in your ass, gentle nod of his head and the low groan releasing from his chest was all you needed to know to figure out the answer to your question without even needing Javi to say a single word. His free hand mirrored yours, cupping your cheek as the two of you locked hungry gazes with each other, Javi now finally working up enough confidence to respond.

“I want to so fucking bad.” Javi rasped, his dark brown eyes filled with a mix of desperation and need for reassurance. “But if you don’t want to, I don’t ever want to make you do something you’re not comfortable with. I promise, I won’t be upset about it at all.” The confident facade you had been fronting quickly began to crumble, your body flooding with a combination of nerves and excitement.

“I do, I just- I- I’ve never done it before.” You weren’t sure how your voice had gotten so small and meek- maybe it was the reality of what you were about to do setting in at a rapid pace. Something about the sweet, soft innocence of your voice already had Javi hard as a rock, using every ounce of willpower to keep his composure, considering how even just the thought of even getting to put his dick in your ass already had him on edge.

“That’s okay. Like I said, it’s only if you want to, baby. We can take it slow and if it’s too much, I’ll stop, no questions asked.”

You could feel your head beginning to gently nod in agreement as Javi’s thumb rubbed soft circles on your jaw, a little smirk forming between your cheeks while your heart raced at a million miles per hour, almost feeling as worked up and nervous as the very first time the two of you had sex all that time ago.

“I want to.” You whispered, letting your lips meet his in a tender and ferocious passion, muted moans escaping from each of your parted mouths.

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to say yes just because I want to.” And fuck, could you feel how badly he wanted to, his fully hard dick straining against the fabric of his sweatpants, heavy against your thigh. You were no better despite your nerves, the cotton fabric of your underwear absolutely drenched already without Javi even touching you.

“I’m sure. I promise.”

A low groan rumbled deep in Javi’s chest as your mouths met again, Javi flipping you over so your back was flat against the mattress, letting his hands roam along your body while his lips traveled down your neck and collarbone. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, sweet girl. Gonna take my time with you, okay? I promise I’ll make sure you’re ready.”

“Well I appreciate you just not going straight to shoving your dick into my ass, very gentlemanly of you.” You joked, trying to calm your nerves with your sarcastic wit, Javi practically snorting at your comment.

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi whispered to himself through his laughter, resting his head on your chest as he looked up at you in amusement.

“Sorry, I’ll stop and let you get back to business.” Javi lay frozen, still staring up at you with his head cocked to the side, eyebrows raised.

“Osita, you know I love you very much, right?”

“Yes.”

“And that since we’ve been together, I’ve learned a lot of things about you?

“Also yes.”

“So you know I can tell when you’re nervous about something, right?”

You let out a defeated sigh, crossing your arms in stubborn defiance, not wanting to admit that you knew Javi’s suspicions were correct. You waited a moment, and with a little frown pursed between your lips, you finally gave in.

“...Yeah.”

Javi rolled over next to you, draping one arm over your waist, the other holding his chin in his hand with his elbow propped up against the mattress, his tender gaze locking with yours, filling you with a sense of calm and reassurance you were convinced nothing else in the world could. “Osita, talk to me baby. What are you nervous about?”

You flapped your arms up before planting them over your face, burying your head in your hands in embarrassment, your words muffled from underneath your palms. “What am I nervous about? Not to stroke your ego any more than it needs to be, but you have a huge dick, Jav. I’m also guessing this isn’t your first time, and it is for me, and you being the first giant dick to ever enter my ass has me a little nervous.” You rambled, your thoughts spilling out of your mouth faster than your brain could process them. “I really want to, I just don’t want it to not be good for you or for you to be upset if we stop or- I don’t know. I don’t want you to be mad about it if I’m the reason for- I- I’m probably overthinking it, I’m sorry.” You let out another deep exhale, averting your gaze from Javi’s staring down at the bed.

This time, it was Javi’s turn to connect the dots, taking a moment to wonder why you were so worried about making him upset before putting the pieces together, his prediction making him clench his jaw in frustration. “Paul wanted to do it and you said no and he was a fucking asshole to you about it, wasn’t he?”

Your head instantly shot up, swiveling around towards Javi’s agitated grimace, your face almost as shocked as Javi’s was when you had asked him if he had wanted to do this in the first place. “How… Javi, how did you-”

“That motherfucker… he didn’t hurt you did he? I swear to God if he did, I’ll fucking fly up to Chicago right now and I’ll-”

“Jav, Jav, cool your jets, killer.” You laughed softly, pressing your hand to his cheek to try and ground him before he really was on the next flight to Illinois. “No, he never did anything. He said that he wanted to and it kinda came out of the blue- I didn’t really want to at the time, especially not with him. He kept asking and asking and I would tell him no and he got so mad about it. Turns out that was around the time he started cheating on me anyways, and became an even bigger dickhead than he already was. But I always felt so guilty, and that it was my fault he was upset because I didn’t want to. I don’t know- I- I guess maybe this has stuck with me way more than it probably should have.” You could feel your voice shrinking, your eyes darting away once again, mortified by the fact that you completely ruined the moment by bringing up your shitty ex and his blatant lack of respect. “Sorry, I don’t know why we’re talking about this I-“

Before you could finish the rest of your sentence, Javi’s lips were on yours, swallowing the rest of your words as your mouths met with a passionate intensity, letting his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in closer, caging his chest against yours. “Hermosa, you know I would never be mad at you about something like that, right? I love you, Osita, you have nothing to apologize for. All I ever want is to make you feel good, baby. Fuck, that gets me off more than anything else. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”

“I trust you, Javi.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, lips grazing over his, giving him a gentle nod of reassurance. “I want you to.”

You could audibly hear the gulp Javi had let out, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he let out a low groan, tightening the grip he had around your waist. “Want me to what, sweet girl? I wanna hear you say it, baby.” His lips began to travel down your jawline towards your neck, hot and wet presses languidly making their way to your collarbone as he tugged at the end of your shirt, snaking his hands up the soft skin of your stomach. You could feel the heat building in your core, letting out a soft moan as his hands palmed at your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between the tips of his fingers.

“I want you to fuck my ass, Javi.”

With that, his hands were shuffling your shirt over your head, tossing it over the side of the bed before letting his kisses make their way down your newly exposed skin, letting his tongue flick along each nipple before letting his gaze lock with yours, a small smirk spreading across his face. “I promise I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good, Hermosa. Gonna take good care of you, baby, I swear.”

“I know.” You nodded, staring back at the hunger pooling in the dark brown of his eyes, practically squirming in the sheets of your bed from the throbbing between your legs, feeling the slick almost dripping down your thighs from just how turned on you were. The grin on Javi’s face had become devilish, biting down on his bottom lip as he snaked his hand down your front, tugging at the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your legs before running a finger through your slit, already drenching him with your arousal.

“Turn around, baby. Hands and knees, okay?” You could hear the subtle smugness in his tone, giving you a playful squeeze as he grabbed your hips, flipping you over face down on the mattress, making you squeal. You did Javi one better, laying your chest flat against the sheets, lifting your ass up in the air and giving it a little shake, Javi’s hands instantly kneading at the soft flesh in front of him, digging his fingertips deeper into your skin, feeling his hot breath hovering over your cunt.

Suddenly, you felt a long, wide strip of his tongue through your folds, pressing hard and intensely along your clit before diving in like a man starved, lapping you up as he began to eat you out from behind. Each stroke of his tongue was more persistent than the last, the grip of his hands on your hips pulling your heat closer to his face as he licked and sucked at your throbbing bundle of nerves, the mix of your slick and his saliva coating your inner thighs. His feverish pace already had you fisting at the bedsheets, whimpering and moaning as his mouth worked along your dripping core, making you gasp even further when you felt his tongue begin to travel up towards your tight ring of muscle.

“Oh holy fuck- Javi, oh my god, baby. Fuck me, oh shit.” You whimpered as Javi’s tongue swirled along your puckered hole, dancing around the edges before dipping inside, the sensation making you shudder in pleasure, feeling Javi’s low hum of approval deep in the back of his throat. If that wasn’t enough, one of the hands that had a tight grip on your ass was now collecting the slick dripping from your entrance, his fingers tracing through your folds before pressing firmly on your clit, the added stimulation immediately making the tingle begin to build at the base of your spine. As he worked at your hole, the pads of his fingers circling your sensitive bundle of nerves you could feel your breath becoming ragged, letting out a few more shaky exhales before your orgasm crashed through you, crying out into the soft fabric of the sheets, pleasure and euphoria flooding your body.

As you came down from your high, Javi let his hands slide gently up and down your sides, pressing soft kisses along your back until he had made his way up your shoulder blades and neck, whispering tenderly into your ear. “Such a good girl for me, Osita. Came so hard letting me eat out that pretty little ass of yours. You want me to keep going?”

“Fuck yes, oh my god Javi, please.” You whimpered, shaking your head frantically as you looked back at Javi, already sitting back on his knees to lift his shirt over his head before sitting up to kick off his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free, precum glistening and weeping from his tip, considering how painfully hard he had been since even the thought of getting to fuck your ass.

You could feel his body hovering over yours, hands sliding up and down your sides before grabbing at your ass again, placing tender kisses on each cheek before leaning over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, pulling out the bottle of lube and setting it next to him. His hands roamed to your core once again, two fingers dipping into your cunt, curling to hit the soft, spongy spot inside you that already had you moaning again.

It wasn’t long until his fingers were substituted for his cock, running his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal along his length before slowly pushing inside your pussy, already so wet and worked up, that even with sweet sting of his stretch, he still slid in with ease, setting a steady, even pace as one hand dug into your hip, the other reaching over to grab the bottle of lube, popping open the cap with a click and letting the cool liquid drip over your tight hole, making you gasp. You could feel the pads of his fingers pressing at the entrance to your ass, gently teasing you open with one finger, breeching up to his knuckle, the combination of both his finger and cock inside you making you whimper in pleasure.

“That’s it. Such a good girl. Fuck, you’re already so fucking tight around my finger. You want another one in there, baby?” Javi mewled, prodding his finger deeper into your hole as he continued to thrust into you, his strokes slow and steady, but still punching deep into your g-spot with each thrust of his hips against the back of your thighs.

“Yes- oh fuck- yes, oh my god.” You weren’t really quite sure how your brain was still even managing to form words at this point, the warm feeling that had been growing inside you spreading to every inch of your body. The pad of Javi’s second finger teased at your tight hole, collecting ample amounts of you slick and lube before pushing in to join the first, the thickness of both of his fingers making you clench even tighter around his cock and digits as you cried out in delight.

“Shhhhhh, I know, sweet girl. Relájate (relax) baby, I’ve got you.”

You could already feel your second orgasm starting to build again, heat beginning to bloom in your belly from the rhythmic pounding of Javi’s dick punching against your g-spot and his fingers prodding at the nerve endings of your ring of muscle, already feeling so full from the stretch of both holes.

“Fuck, fuck fuck- oh fuck- Javi, I’m gonna cum again, fuckahhhhhhh-” You cried out, letting your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, clenching down around Javi’s cock and fingers as you grabbed at handfuls of your bedsheets, trying to ground yourself as the intensity of your pleasure ripped through you.

“There you go, Hermosa. That’s it, baby. Such a good girl. Did so good for me.” He cooed, gently pulling out both his cock and fingers, the emptiness making you shutter as Javi pressed tender, soft kisses down your back before making his way up your neck and nipping at your ear. “You think you’re ready for me, Osita? If not, it’s okay, I only wanna do what you want, mi amor (my love).”

You took another few ragged breaths to compose yourself, unsure how your brain was even managing to function at this point as you came down from your high, trembling in delight. You nodded before you could speak, Javi letting out a low groan as he sucked at your pulse point, his words hot and heavy against your skin.

“Need to hear you say it, pretty girl. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.”

“Fuck my ass, Javi. I want you to fuck my ass, please baby.” You whined, whimpering your words against the soft fabric of your sheets, desperate for more, needing to feel all of him inside you in a way you hadn’t before.

Javi let out an audible groan as he pulled back, letting his hands roam up your body and back to the lube resting on the bed, once again, popping open the cap and squirting some of the liquid into his palm as he fisted his dick, stroking himself a few times before lining himself up with your tight hole. “You promise you’ll tell me if you want me to stop?”

You shook your head rapidly, fingers already gripping into the pillow in front of you as you braced yourself for Javi to enter, feeling his tip press against your tight ring of muscle. Suddenly, you could feel the sensation of Javi breeching your entrance, making you gasp at just how full you already felt as he had barely made his way inside you. Javi pushed further in, leaving you practically breathless from the stinging stretch of his cock filling you as he paused halfway, leaning over to check on you.

“Oh fuck me- You okay, sweet girl?”

“Mhhmmmmmm. Fuck Javi, you feel so big. Holy shit, baby. Oh fuck.” You gulped, squeezing around Javi’s length as he inched deeper and deeper inside of you, your clit and cunt throbbing as he filled you, the newfound sensation making you see stars. You were so focused on how you were feeling, you had barely noticed how tightly Javis fingertips were gripping into the soft flesh of your ass, like he was bracing himself for dear life as he sunk further and further into your tight hole.

While Javi had found himself in this position with other women a handful of times before, he had never come close to feeling the same way about anyone the way he did about you- He had been dreaming about the day that you agreed to let him fuck your ass, and now finding himself inside you, knowing he would be the first and the last to ever have you like he was right now, had him on the brink of busting any second if he wasn’t careful. Javi had never been more thankful that you couldn’t see his face, because he knew he looked absolutely wrecked and was struggling to keep the ounce of composure he had left as you gripped around his cock like a vice.

“Javi, oh shit- Javi, you can move baby.” You moaned, adjusting to his fullness, the initial pain quickly transforming to burning hot pleasure as you gave Javi the green light to keep going. After a few seconds, when Javi had said nothing and hadn’t moved at all, you spoke again, thinking maybe he hadn’t heard you. “Javi, I’m good, you can-”

“I know, I know, fuck- sorry, baby. Jesus Christ- you’re so fucking tight, Hermosa, fuck me. Give me a second or I’m gonna fuckin’ bust right now.” Javi replied, halfway between a whimper and a moan as he firmly grasped your hips, carefully setting a slow pace as he began to thrust in and out of your ring of muscle, shocked to feel how quickly heat was beginning to bloom in your belly once again, his length languidly sliding in and out of your asshole, filling you and striking new nerve endings you had never felt before making you quickly begin to come undone.

Your legs began to tremble, grasping at the mattress to brace yourself as you felt your clit throb and cunt clench as the coil in your belly tightened further and further, the lewd noises of your moans and grunts filling the room.

“Javi, fuckfuckfuck, oh my god, baby I’m so close again, holy fuck.” You cried out, as even just the slightest pick up of Javi’s pace had you reeling closer and closer to the edge of your release. Javi freed one of his hands, snaking it between your legs to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves, already swollen and pulsing from your first two orgasms, and now even more responsive as the pads of his fingers circled against it.

Javi wanted desperately to hold out for you and make you cum as many times as you wanted to just like this, but he knew damn well the moment you came and clamped down even harder around his cock than you already were, he was a fucking goner and going right along with you. He needed to give you one more before he also came embarrassingly fast, but he couldn’t help it.

“Fuck Osita, fuck- I’m not gonna last much longer either, baby. Need you- oh shit- need you to give me one more, pretty girl. Cum for me, Hermosa, I’ve got you.”

With only a few more strokes and circles around your clit, you were cumming so hard, you were honestly convinced you had blacked out. Your whole body shook as you wailed in delight, squeezing around Javi’s dick so hard it was only seconds before he was following suit, letting a ragged groan escape through his gritted teeth as you milked him of every last drop, Javi bracing himself for dear life with the grasp he had around your hips as he finished.

Javi slumped over you, the two of you breathing so heavily it sounded more like you had just finished a triathlon more than anything else. He let out a deep hiss as he pulled out, taking a moment to admire his work as he watched his spend drip out your tight hole as your body collapsed onto the mattress.

You weren’t sure how long you had been laying there before you were finally able to wrangle the brain power to speak again, and even then, the only words that you were able to manage were a quiet “holy fucking shit…”

Javi flopped down, laying on his back next to you as you rolled over, both of your faces bright and blissed as you stared at one another, almost unsure of what to say.

“Are you okay?” Javi asked, gently cupping your flushed cheek in his palm.

“Am I okay? Javi… Holy fuck. I don’t think I have ever cum so hard in my entire life. I honestly thought I blacked out there for a second. Baby… That was, fuck, that was insane.” You half laughed to yourself, shaking your head in disbelief. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fucking great. Holy shit. Sorry I couldn’t last longer, I didn’t think I was gonna go that fast but you felt so fucking good. Thank you, Osita.”

“Thank you? For what?” You giggled, giving Javi a playful poke on the chest as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“For this. For trusting me.”

“Javier Jesús Peña…” You smirked, propping yourself up on your arm to get a better look at him, “I trust you with my life. More than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be the one thanking you for so graciously taking my butt virginity. Wouldn’t want anyone else in there besides you.”

The two of you burst into laughter, Javi practically letting out a snort as he rolled his eyes at your ridiculous comment. “God, you’re fucking ridiculous. I love you, Osita.”

“I love you too, Javi. C’mon, let's go shower before your cum sits in my asshole any longer and I get pregnant with your butt baby.” You snickered as you rolled off the bed, making your way to the bathroom.

“Jesus fucking Christ… Butt baby? Seriously?” He snorted, following behind you, giving you a playful smack on your ass, scooping you up to hike you over his shoulder and fireman carry you to the shower, making you squeal. “You’re so fucking weird.”

“Weirdo you love enough to put your dick in my ass and make your wife, so that’s on you, Jav.” You giggled as Javi set you down on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, giving him a little shrug before reaching into the shower to turn on the water.

“And what a fucking lucky man I am.”

Ever since starting his job at the Laredo Sheriff's Department, Javi had been able to count on a few things every morning when he got into work. Sheryl at the front desk would greet him with a half hearted “Good morning, Javier” , the smell of shitty work coffee would be brewing in the break room, and Agent Carter and Miller already arguing about something stupid at their desks instead of working on anything that actually needed to get done. That’s why when Javi made his way into work on Monday morning and was not greeted by any of those things, he knew his day was getting thrown for a loop- he just wasn’t quite sure how yet.

“It was their idea, not mine, believe me.” Sheryl grumbled, rolling her eyes as she nodded towards the path to Javi’s office, holding her hands up in defense as if to prove she had nothing to do with whatever was going on beyond her desk. Javi paused, tilting his head and scrunching his brow in confusion at Sheryl before letting out a sigh, and hesitantly making his way back to find out what in the world she was talking about.

He was surprised by the lack of Miller and Carter’s presence in their desk chairs, and the unusual silence filling the office as Javi turned his head, wondering where everyone was. He peered over the cubicles, looking for any sign of life, until a strange sound caught his attention from behind the door of his office.

Woof, woof, woof!

Javi shook his head, convinced he must be hearing things until the low bark repeated, followed by a hush of anxious voices whispering around the corner.

“Oh no, shhhhhh! Shit, I didn’t think he was gonna bark.”

“Well it’s a fucking dog, Carter, what the hell did you think it was gonna, do, meow?”

“Maybe he didn’t hear it.”

“I highly doubt that, dumbass. God, he’s gonna be fucking pissed.”

“Your idea, not mine.”

Even though he couldn’t see them, Miller and Carter’s worried whispers were enough to let Javi know he wasn’t imagining the barking coming from behind his office door. Letting out a deep sigh, which sounded a lot more like a groan, Javi carefully twisted open the doorknob to his workspace, only to be greeted by a large, shaggy and very dirty Golden Retriever staring back at him with big brown eyes, happily wagging its tail and shaking excitedly at Javi’s presence. Although Javi had heard the bark from behind his door, it didn’t stop him from doing a double take from the dog now residing in his office, running his hand over his face in a confused frustration as to how and why Miller and Carter had already managed to make his Monday morning a pain in his ass.

“Why the fuck is there a dog in my office?” Javi half shouted, making Carter and Miller sheepishly appear from around the corner with guilty looks on their faces, avoiding eye contact with Javi as he glared through the two of them, wondering how the hell they were going to try and talk themselves out of this one.

“Hey Peña, uh, I uh… Listen Miller was the one who brought him in, and he was so cute that I wasn’t not gonna do anything about it and-”

“Oh, way to throw me under the fucking bus, Carter!” Agent Miller huffed, cutting Carter off in attempts to let the blame completely fall on him. “You agreed we should keep him here so that we could-”

“Okay, that still doesn’t explain why the fuck there’s a dog in my office.” Javi groaned, cutting off Carter and Miller before they found themselves in a pointless arguing match about how and why there was now a dog happily leaning itself against Javi’s leg, his tail shaking back and forth, completely enamored by Javi.

It was taking everything in Javi not to reach down and pet him to try and prove a point to Carter and Miller that they had astronomically fucked up the rest of his plans for the morning, but the dog was sure as hell adorable and sweet as could be.

“Okay, well, I was driving into work this morning, and as I was making my way down that back road past the cattle ranch a few blocks down from here, this guy ran out in the road. Thank God I saw him when I did. I stopped, got out, and he came right up to me, but there was obviously no one with him. He looked relieved that he’d found me. Poor guy is dirty and skinny as hell. He hopped right into my car and ate the rest of my McGriddle which I was kinda pissed about, but I can’t blame ‘em.” Miller sighed, now crouching down to give the dog some scratches on the head before continuing on with his story. “So I went to some of the houses on the street and no one had ever seen this dog before. I called Webb County Animal Control to see if anyone had reported a missing dog that looked like him, but no one had. I asked if I should take him to the shelter to see if anyone would come for him, but the lady on the phone said if no one’s reported him missing, they probably wouldn’t come for them.”

“Well tell him what else, Miller.” Carter encouraged, trying to aid in Miller’s defense as he rose back up, standing next to his partner.

“When I called the animal shelter to ask them what to do, the woman I talked to said the shelter is so full, that if we brought him in and no one claimed him within the next two weeks, that they’d…” Miller trailed off, him and Carter both grimacing, unable to finish the rest of his sentence as he looked down at the gleeful, furry face staring back up at him. “Well, let’s just say that things weren’t gonna look so good for him. I couldn’t bring myself to drop him off, and I wasn’t just gonna fucking leave him, so, I uh- I brought him here.”

Javi let out a deep sigh, burying his hands in his face for a moment before rubbing his temples, understanding why Miller had done what he did, but nonetheless, still frustrated that now he had become wrapped up in solving a missing dog case.

“So what? Are you gonna keep him?” Javi questioned, finally giving in to bend down and give the dog a few pats on his side, feeling just how skinny and boney he was as his hand met his belly.

“Oh no, I can’t keep him. Apartment doesn’t allow dogs. I would if I could.” Miller admitted, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, feeling guilty for his lack of helpful response.

“What about you? You keeping the dog?” Javi asked, looking over at Carter, giving him a little shrug, hoping he was the solution to his temporary canine problem.

“Um, no. Sorry. I’m allergic. He’s cute as hell but my eyes have been itching ever since he got here.”

“So what, he’s just gonna live here? C’mon you guys, really?” Javi grumbled, now crouching down next to the dog, getting a better look at his begging eyes and goofy grin under his panting tongue, giving Javi a few licks on the face in excitement as his tail began to wag rapidly from Javi’s closeness.

Javi couldn’t help but let out a little laugh as the dog lapped against his face, wrapping his hands around the dog’s head and giving it a playful rub to get the dog to stop before staring back at the sweet, sad eyes staring back at him. He scratched under the dog’s chin before it was snuggling up next to him, comfortably plopping himself down over Javi’s feet and letting out a content little grumble as his tail continued to thump against the floor in joy.

Javi closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. A deep sigh. Not because he didn’t like this dog. Hell, not even because he was really that mad at the two office idiots for bringing the dog here this morning. Javi let out a long, exasperated sigh, because he could feel the willpower he had preached to you about holding out on a dog until the new house- a conversation he had just had with you last night- was absolutely crumbling.

He couldn’t come home with a dog, right? He had just spent all of last night convincing you that the apartment wouldn’t be a good place for a dog. But… that was for a puppy. This was a full grown dog. A calm one, at that. A fucking cute one at that. God, it had been 5 minutes and this dog was already attached at the hip to him, and it was probably fair to say that Javi had gotten just as attached, if not more. Carter and Miller were right, with the shape the dog was in, it really did look like no one had been taking care of him, or had any plans to come and find him, and Javi couldn’t bear the thought of sending the dog off to the shelter, knowing his inevitable fate.

Fuck.

“Okay, well, do you know anything else about him? Are you sure that there’s no one looking for him?” Javi grunted as he pushed himself back up to stand, trying to keep his cool as he looked over at Carter and Miller, their eyes still peeled to the ground in hopes the lack of direct eye contact would lessen their chances of a complete reaming from Javi.

“No, boss. Only other thing we could find about him was the little tag on his collar, which wasn’t helpful at all, because it only had his name.” Carter shrugged, peeking up at Javi, surprised by the even keel of his tone. Javi bent back down, the dog immediately rolling over on his back and exposing his belly for Javi to pet as he reached towards the dog’s neck, gently tugging at the tethered collar under his tangled fur to read the poorly engraved tag attached, letting out an even bigger sigh and shaking his head in disbelief at the name.

Bear.

Of fucking course. As if the universe needed to send him another sign. Of fucking course the dog’s name was the same as his nickname for you, Osita- little bear.

Javi couldn’t help but laugh to himself, running his hand over his face once again. “Shit. You sure no one’s looking for him?”

Both Carter and Miller shook their heads, crossing their arms over their chests in sad disappointment at Bear, laying sprawled across Javi’s feet. Letting out one last reluctant exhale, Javi looked back at the pair, nervously awaiting his response before he spoke.

“If… If no one calls looking for him by the end of the day… I’ll take him home with me.”

Carter and Miller’s faces lit up in shock and delight, staring at Javi, dumbfounded by what they had just heard. “I mean… Fuck, well… that was way easier than I thought it was gonna be.” Miller half grumbled to himself, glancing over at Carter, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I obviously don’t have any dog shit at home so I’m gonna have to leave early today to get some, so you two idiots are gonna have to finish up the rest of the paperwork I needed to do this afternoon, we clear?”

“Yeah, yup- Absolutely. Will do.” The two nodded in agreement, still in shock that the worst they had gotten from their boss from dropping a stray dog off in his office was the rest of his paperwork for the day.

“Fuck me. Alright, c’mon Bear.” Javi sighed, pushing open his office door, Bear, happily trotting along behind him, tail wagging in delight as Carter and Miller stared back at each other, frozen in shock that they, with very little convincing, had gotten their boss to happily take their furry problem into his own hands.

If the fact that Bear wasn’t cute as can be was enough to win over Javi, he was also the sweetest, most relaxed dog he’d had ever met. Bear was perfectly content to lay down next to Javi’s desk, letting out content grumbles and sighs as he slept and Javi worked, sprawled out across the floor. Bear also seemed to love everyone he met, joyfully making his rounds around the station with Javi after a failed attempt at leaving him behind in his office, immediately caving to Bear’s sad, lonely whines and big brown eyes from behind the glass of his office window. Around 2:00 PM, after Javi had given Bear the better half of his turkey sandwich for lunch, he found himself just as hungry as that poor dog probably was this morning, deciding to cut his day short to get himself some food, and gather whatever else he needed before bringing Bear back to the apartment.

Javi thanked whatever higher power that the woman working at the pet store this afternoon was not the same woman he had adamantly convinced last night that he was not coming with a dog, because in the back seat of his truck, sat a dog he was now bringing home. The woman working at the store had helped Javi to find everything he needed for Bear and probably then some, Javi more than thankful for her patience and advice, feeling overwhelmed by what to get for a dog that had landed in his care only a few short hours ago.

After 2 trips up your apartment stairs to drop off the bed, food, treats and toys Javi had gotten, he made one final trip back for Bear, who had glady hopped out of the truck and followed Javi back to your place after a quick pee on the bush in the parking lot, leaving Javi very thankful the dog had found a spot to relieve himself that wasn’t on his shoe.

“Well, welcome home, I guess.” Javi chuckled as Bear busted through the apartment door, tail wagging at a propeller like speed as he meandered through the space, sniffing and exploring around the kitchen and living room, before wandering back to the bags from the pet store Javi had set on the ground, giving them a little prod with his snout before sitting next to them, looking up at Javi as if to ask if he could have the food and treats that were inside. “Well… I guess a little more food couldn’t hurt, right?”

There were very few times where Javi was home from work before you, and when he did, he normally told you before he left, or called you at work to let you know- so when you pulled into the parking lot to see Javi’s truck next to your empty parking space, it was safe to say you were a bit perplexed. You quickly unpacked your bags from your car, making your way up to the apartment, trying to rationalize with your confusion and nerves as to why Javi had beaten you home. As you unlocked your door, you gently pushed it open, now even more confused by the muffled grunts and swearing coming from down the hallway. Dropping your things at the entryway, you quickly began working your way through the apartment to figure out what was going on before you almost tripped and fell over a large dog bed now in the middle of your living room.

“What the hell…” You murmured to yourself, your brow scrunching in bewilderment as you caught your step over the soft, plushy surface, doing a double take to realize that what had almost taken you to the ground was a dog bed. Looking over, you then noticed the several bags from the local pet store, now even more puzzled as your attention shifted back to the end of the hallway, hearing Javi’s voice as well as the sound of running water and frantic splashing.

“Goddamnit, will you just stay still please? We’re almost done, bud.”

Almost sprinting to the bathroom, you pushed open the door to find a pile of towels spread across the floor, Javi kneeling over the side of the tub, shirt absolutely soaked as he held the shower handle towards a goofy, wet, golden retriever dancing around in the other end of the tub as he saw you.

“Uhhhhhh, Javi… Why is there a dog in our bathtub?” You stood stunned in the doorway, your presence startling Javi as he spun around, dropping the shower handle, making it spray over the walls, leading the dog to playfully bark and shake as it hopped over the ledge of the tub to greet you.

“No, Bear! Come back here! Fuck. I uh- I can explain, I-” Javi stammered, scrambling to grab the flailing shower head before reaching for the dog to try and wrangle him back into the shower, the rest of his thought cut off by Bear taking one more step towards you before bracing himself for a giant shake, absolutely drenching you as you burst into laughter, wiping your now soaking face with the palms of your hands before reaching down to pet the cheerful dog, wagging his wet tail as he leaned up against your leg.

You couldn’t help but let the smuggest grin spread across your face, now putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “Bear, huh? You come up with that one?” You giggled, crouching down to greet who you now were presuming to be the newest resident of your household, rubbing his hands over his drenched, furry body, squealing as he licked all over your face. “I thought we couldn’t have a dog in the apartment, Jav, and I hate to break it to you, this is definitely a dog… very much in our apartment.”

Javi let out a snort, rolling his eyes at you as he reached over to shut off the water, resting his back against the edge of the tub, propping his arms up over the sides as he braced himself to try and explain his current situation to you. “Well…” he grinned sheepishly as Bear paced back and forth between the two of you, his tail swaying side to side as he dripped puddles across the bathroom floor, “I got into work this morning and the first thing I saw was a fucking dog that Carter and Miller had dropped in my office after Miller found him on his drive in.”

“Which I am assuming is this dog?” You laughed, gesturing towards the giddy Golden Retriever jaunting around the bathroom.

“Yeah, this one. Miller said that he found him on a dirt road. Called animal control and no one had been looking for a dog that looked like him, and that when he called the shelter, they were so full, that if someone didn’t either come to get him or adopt him in the next couple weeks, that, well… they probably would have to… Fuck, Cater is allergic and Miller can’t have dogs at his place, and I- he’s so sweet, and I couldn’t just let him go so-”

“So you bought out the better part of the pet store so he could live here with us?” You grinned, raising an eyebrow at Javi as Bear happily sat himself down in his lap, making Javi grunt at the weight of the dog plopping himself down across his legs.

“I mean… I uh… I-” Javi mumbled, sheepishly looking down at Bear before looking back at you, doing your best to contain your laughter and giggles. “What, Hermosa?” Javi phrased it as a question, even though he already knew the answer- You were never going to let him live this down for the rest of his life.

“And you thought you needed to be worried about me bringing a dog home without asking. Does this mean we have a new member of the Peña family?” You smirked, making your way over to Javi and Bear, squatting down on the soaking bathroom floor next to them, pressing a playful peck onto Javi’s cheek as you gave Bear a big scratch.

“If that’s okay with you.”

“You’re lucky he’s cute, and you’re lucky you’re cute, too. Yes, of course it’s okay with me. Welcome to the family, Bear Peña.”

The two of you smiled at each other as you sat on the bathroom floor, a damp and soggy Bear spread across your laps with the happiest and goofiest grin spread over his face, too. While coming home to find Javi wrestling a stray dog in your tub wasn’t exactly how you pictured welcoming the newest member of your family into your lives, in some strange way, it couldn’t have felt more perfect. Getting to grow and share your life together with Javi was all you could ever really ask for, even if that meant a Monday night, soaking wet from a dog bath gone wrong.

“Okay, well, we should probably dry this goofball off and get his stuff all situated. Poor guy is probably exhausted after all of his adventures today, aren’t ya bud? Do you think we should put the dog bed in our room? I don’t want him to get scared during the night, but I’m not really sure if we should have him up on our bed, ya know?”

As you pushed yourself up to stand, you waited for Javi’s response, only to be greeted by double the amount of big, brown puppy dog eyes now staring back at you as you turned around. Javi still said nothing, a guilty look growing across his and the dog’s, as you let out a deep sigh, wondering how in the world you were going to build up your immunity to another sweet face that made you crumble.

“You already let him on the bed, didn��t you, Jav?”

“.... Maybe.”

“Like I said, the two of you are very lucky you’re cute.”

Taglist:

@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadress @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse

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kentopedia · 9 months

Note

Any dating Gojo headcannons?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ dating gojo headcanons

so starting this off by saying that if you’re in a relationship with gojo, there will be so many photos taken! they could be of both of you together, just you, just him, etc.

he likes to keep memories of all the times you’re together, and will scroll through all the photos when he’s feeling down or when you’re apart.

also, he also changes his lockscreen frequently to whatever recent photo of you has become his new favorite. <3

gojo will do absolutely everything in his power to make you laugh, especially if you’re feeling down.

at some times, he will be the most ridiculous boyfriend, but it's just bc he always wants to see you happy

whether or not you’re a sorcerer, gojo will introduce you to all his students!!

but... they already know everything there is to know about you because gojo talks about you non-stop. so when you do meet for the first time, hey feel like they’ve already met you before.

they definitely tease gojo about how you deserve someone better than him, especially nobara and megumi <3 though, it's all for fun and they are all genuinely so supportive of your relationship.

he makes you come to his classes as a "guest speaker." there is absolutely no learning done at these times. ever.

but you get to know the students better, and gojo loves seeing you interact with them. mostly, he just invites you to the school to see him and all the students know it.

because gojo takes care of megumi, you'll be the closest to him of all the students. and megumi is honestly tired of both of you, but he’ll tell gojo he likes you more just to annoy him.

gojo will take you out to eat a lot, especially at nice restaurants--but only if that’s your thing! if you'd rather eat at home or don’t feel comfortable at stuffy places, then he doesn’t care.

he just wants to spend time together and make you feel special bc you are!! <3

also, there will be so many dates to get a little treat. it doesn’t matter what, if its sweet, gojo will be buying it.

if you don’t like sweets… gojo will probably still buy you one so you can try it (and then he'll just eat it himself).

gojo loves when you wear his clothes, even if they fit you horribly. he starts leaving tshirt and sweatshirts at your home in the hopes that you’ll wear them when you’re lounging around

expect a lot of stupid texts or phone calls, and always at inconvenient times.

he sends you things that make no sense. then sends you screenshots of when he sent them to nanami and got left on read.

gojo sends a lot of screenshots of him annoying nanami. it's honestly his favorite hobby

every time you walk into a room, gojo will smile so brightly to the point that people notice and start teasing him about it. he doesn't care though :)

he is always excited to see you, even if you’ve only been apart for five minutes

we all know gojo's got generational wealth, so he’s going to spoil you all the time. don't protest bc he loves spending money on you. gift giving is def a love language of him.

so he's always buying you gifts, whether they’re just random things that reminded him of you, unnecessary items he secretly wanted for himself, or extensive, thought out gifts he’s been contemplating for a while.

gets you big bouquets of flowers all the time.

once he sees that one of the flowers is wilting, he’s on his way to buy another. he’ll switch up which flowers he gets depending on what looks the best during the season.

but if you have an absolute favorite flower, he’ll gravitate towards those <3

he uses an excessive amount of pet names. sticks to the classics most of the time, but when he’s feeling silly, he'll whip out something so ridiculous you will cringe

when you’re out in public, he usually keeps a hand on you somewhere, just so he can reassure himself you’re nearby. he doesn’t expect that any curses are going to sneak up on him, but he knows better than to take a stupid risk like that.

teases you so much it’s almost painful, but he knows when he’s taking it too far. he’ll never do anything to upset you.

he's pretty good at reading you, but he wants you to know the you can always talk to him about anything! he doesn't want his partner to be scared of talking to him, because he knows that communication is important

(even if he's sometimes bad at it.)

at the end of the day, he is going to be the most supportive person in your life, and he just wants to feel as happy as you make him

if he’s been away for work, or had a particularly rough day, he’ll be extra clingy.

he loves cuddling <3

i feel like there will be lots of movie watching dates on the couch (though expect that this will lead to something more)

he won’t (always) do it on purpose, but he likes seeing you get jealous.

gojo’s pretty flirtatious by nature, but he’ll make sure that you know it doesn’t mean anything if he smiles a little too much at the barista, or talks to the waitress a bit too friendly.

but he would also be lying if he said he disliked the annoyance that would spread on your face, and he’d kiss you even harder once you were back home.

gojo’s outwardly very confident, but secretly, he wants a lot of reassurance from you.

initially, he tries to do things that will get a lot of compliments from you. you eventually pick up on this and just shower him in affection

and when you’ve said you loved him, he will ask you to say it all the time. <3

gojo loves taking you on shopping dates and watching you model all of the clothes. he will be no help at picking things out because he’ll think you look good in everything!!

he can be quite spontaneous, so whatever you want to do, he’s always up for it.

gojo falls first, but he doesn’t tell you first. he’s honestly a bit insecure that he’s not enough for you and waits for you to say “I love you” first.

honestly, he decides pretty early on in the relationship that you’re the person he wants to spend the rest of your life with.

but... he waits a while to propose because he’s a sorcerer and he knows that things in his life could change at any moment.

he will love you so so much <3

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its-time-to-write · 6 months

Text

this is 100% self indulgent. no one asked for this except me and I have zero excuse for how it turned out. i have no defense, no witty rebuttal, no nothing. i wrote this because i wanted to, and at the very least i hope this inspires someone to write their borderline-self-insert fic and post it publicly.

this fic is set after season 3. enjoy😂

(oh now might also be a good time to mention how much I love Man City. bc it’s a lot.)

can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)

Calling Lake Como beautiful is like saying space is big. It’s true for sure, but it feels like an understatement. It’s June and the weather is absolutely gorgeous, perfect for the wedding you’re attending. It’s for two good friends of yours, and it’s going to be a party full of football royalty. You’re mostly excited to see friends who are WAGs from other teams who you’ve connected with over the past year and a half.

Oh, and you suppose it will be a nice vacation with Jamie, too.

You’re staying at a beautiful hotel that’s been open since 1910, and you swear you’ll never stay somewhere as beautiful again.

“Getting ideas for the house?” Jamie teases, and it sends a thrill down your spine with the way he refers to his house as your collective home.

You grin as he spins you around the Suite Greta. Everything is golden, from the drapes to the pillows to the sun catching on his face.

“No,” you reply, “but maybe for a vacation home?”

Jamie laughs as he catches you up in his arms. “I could see us here in the next off-season. Not sure we’d get out much,” he muses and you wrap your arms around him as tight as they can go.

You’re here for a full week but Isaac’s wedding is only one day. You and Jamie have plans to see everyone who’s in town, as well as have some time to yourself.

“Sasha wants to go out for dinner tonight,” you tell Jamie as he unpacks his suitcase.

“Girls only, or will Jack be there?”

“Let’s see,” you hum as you scan the group chat. “Isabel said she and Erling will be there, so looks like it’s a couple’s thing. That’ll be fun, right?” you ask with just a hint of anxiety. Jamie and Jack are friends, they’ve run in the same circles for years, but you’re not sure how he’s going to feel about being outnumbered two to one, City to Richmond, at dinner.

“As long as Rodri ain’t there, I’m fucking chuffed,” he says as he lays out his suit on the bed.

“Chuffed? Is that a thing you say now?” you ask, flat on your back on the bed.

“Yep,” he replies. “I’m posh now, babe. Sorry you Americans can’t do it as well as we Brits.”

“I have it on good authority that we do it very well,” you smirk. “But I don’t think that’s something you’ll get to experience tonight. I haven’t seen Sash or Isa in ages, so we’ll probably talk for a long time and then I’ll be tired when we get back to the room.”

Jamie groans. “You’re sadistic, woman. The shit you put me through.”

You smile and remind him, “You’re the one who picked me, remember?”

—

Jamie is technically the one who picked you. You had just moved from America to London, got a temp job at a Richmond FC, and the rest is history. You don’t work at Richmond anymore, haven’t for a while, as you’ve been able to start your own thing in between attending matches and events and whatever else Jamie’s invited to. Being Jamie’s girlfriend is a full-time job on its own, and he definitely spoils you beyond what you’re used to. He’s the one who bought your dress for the wedding and it freaked you out just a little bit until you called Sasha (an angel, by the way) who laughed and talked you off the ledge.

“Comes with the territory, babe. They’re just boys with more money than they know what to do with. Jack’d buy me the moon if he could figure out how. Enjoy it. It’s been a while since anyone’s seen Tartt this happy.”

So you do. You had been living together for almost a year now so you’d think that a dress wouldn’t push you over the edge, but there you go. You’re trying to be calmer about it. It’s better ever since you met Sasha and Isabel.

You had been stuck in a room while Jamie talked to his old manager, and they had noticed your deer-in-the-headlights expression. You’re right in the middle of the two, age-wise, and from similar enough backgrounds.

“Here’s my number. Come over to my flat tomorrow for brunch. We’ll get you settled, babes,” Sasha had said. You went and it had been amazing to finally make real friends, even if they were technically on the opposing team.

You’re excited to see them, excited for Isaac to finally get married, and excited to spend a full seven days with Jamie by your side. It’s going to be the best.

—

You enter the venue arm-in-arm with Jamie, practically dancing across the grass. The sun’s shining and there are all sorts of people you know and love. It feels a little surreal to be here.

Earlier, back in the room, you had slipped into your dress carefully to avoid getting makeup stains on the front. The skirt fell just at your knees and puffed out ever so slightly, with thick straps instead of regular sleeves so you could fully enjoy the warm weather.

“Do a spin,” he had said, voice full of glee. You’d acquiesced, twirling around to let the blue tile print billow out before he caught you, kissing your shoulder so as not to ruin your makeup.

Now, you’re holding onto him and trying not to wrinkle his linen suit when you hear someone shout your name.

“Sasha!” you screech, running toward her as best you can with your shoes on the grass. You squeeze each other into a tight hug, uncaring about about the state of her hot pink dress.

“Hey man,” Jack says to Jamie, who grins and shakes his hand. “You’d think they haven’t seen each other in fucking ages.”

“It’s been twelve hours,” you say. “And before that it’s been like two months. Anyway, don’t you two have some football to discuss or something? Or headbands? Or-”

“Really short socks,” Sasha helpfully supplies.

Jamie shakes his head. “Fuck off, Attwood.”

“Fuck you, Tartt,” she replies.

“Oi, you two wouldn’t even be friends if it weren’t for me. You could be a little nicer,” Jamie says.

“Oh is that Hughes?” Jack asks before either Sasha or Jamie can escalate. Their entire friendship is based off sniping one another and neither you nor Jack are particularly in the mood for it today.

Jamie turns to look. “Oh mint, looks like things are starting. You saved us seats?”

“Yeah, with Haaland and Isabel,” Sasha returns, linking her arm through yours. “C’mon, did you get yourself a parasol?”

—

It’s the most beautiful wedding you’ve ever been to. Stella looks stunning in her gown, Isaac stoically sobs his eyes out while Colin surreptitiously hands him a tissue. Even Roy seems to be having a good time, but then again Keeley once told you that he “really fucking loves weddings.” You hadn’t believed her, but his lips are in a straight line instead of a frown so maybe she was right.

There’s a group of City and Richmond players together, and it’s a little strange to see how friendly they are off the pitch. Dani is explaining something with lots of hand gestures to Phil while the rest of the group jokes around.

Sasha sneaked you and Isabel away to get drinks for yourselves and you were about to get away unnoticed when Erling caught Isabel’s arm and asked for a drink too, so now you’re ordering for your boyfriends as well as yourselves.

You don’t really care, there’s a part of you that’s reveling in the sheer joy of being young and hot. Sue you.

“Cosmo, please,” you say while the girls order drinks of their own. Sasha raises an eyebrow so you shrug and say, “Jamie likes what he likes.”

She rolls her eyes and scoffs “Tartt,” but it’s with the affection of an older sister so you elbow her and ask, “What did Jack want?”

She makes a face. “Heineken. He also likes what he fuckin’ likes.”

You wheeze out a laugh as Isabel comes to join you. She smiles as she sips from something lavender colored in a martini glass. She cuts an elegant figure in her yellow, billowy dress. You smooth your dress and open your mouth to say something when a voice calls your name. You look to see your ex walking up, hand-in-hand with his wife. You know, the one he left you for.

“Jake,” you say in surprise. God, you need your brain to form coherent thoughts right now. “What are you doing here?”

He grins, far too wide and goofy to be real. Not like Jamie, you think.

“Oh, you know, Emma’s loosely related to the bride on her dad’s side. She asked for an invite, so here we are. Who are you here for? Bride or groom?”

“Both, actually,” you reply automatically. Jake’s words are grating, not so much in content as they are in tone. He always had a way of saying things condescendingly, like everyone else was a stupid little kid.

“Oh,” he says in what you think is supposed to be surprise, “that’s funny. I didn’t know you knew anyone out here. You’ve been living in England all alone, right?”

Emma just hovers by Jake’s shoulder. She’s not contributing anything to this conversation except a snooty little smirk.

“No,” you say. “I’m not alone. This is Isabel, by the way.” You look around for Sasha, but she’s disappeared. Smart girl.

Isa doesn’t extend her hand. “Nice to meet you,” she says and Jake takes her at her word. He puffs up his chest a little bit as he asks, “Where are you from? You don’t sound British.”

“We’re from Norway,” a voice behind her says. “I’m Erling.”

Sasha has reappeared with Jack, Erling, and Jamie in tow. You mentally congratulate her with a well done, Sash as you feel Jamie’s arm loop around your waist.

He feels like a solid wall against your back, a glimmer in an otherwise garbage moment.

Jake takes stock of the three men who are looking at him with less-than friendly stares. You’re not sure what Sasha told them, but you’re absolutely positive Jamie recognizes Jake. You can practically feel the hairs on his arm bristling.

Jake finishes his assessment and deems it appropriate to talk. “So, how do you all know each other?”

Jamie scoffs and looks away, while Jack stares at Jake like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

You wonder what it is with your affinity for J-names.

“We’re footballers,” Erling says before anyone can take more offense.

“Premier League footballers,” Jamie adds, as if it means anything to Jake.

Jake’s American, like you, and he’s never been much for sports anyway. He wouldn’t even recognize David Beckham if the man were standing under a poster of himself.

Jake says, “Right. Hey, weren’t you on one of those trashy dating shows?” and Jamie stiffens.

Sasha mutters, “Fuck’s sake,” under her breath as Erling and Isabel take pointed interest in something in the distance.

“No,” Jamie replies shortly. “The fuck were you talking to my girl?”

Jake looks to you in surprise. “Oh! You two are together? That’s… well, that’s… I guess I just didn’t expect her to be whoring around like that. But hey, move to another country and all morals go out the window, right?”

That’s the thing about Jake. He never speaks as if he’s actually trying to be offensive. He just says what’s on his mind. And you’re a little concerned that what’s on his mind is going to land Jamie (and quite possible Jack) in jail. Neither of them are especially known for backing down from a squabble. “Cut from the same cloth,” Pep was rumored to say.

“Fuck off, mate,” Jack interjects. “Just fuck off. Everyone here loves her, and you can’t talk about her like that.”

Your ex reevaluates the situation at hand and decides the best thing to do would be to take Emma’s hand and walk away.

“Strange that his wife does not speak,” Erling remarks.

You grimace. “You could’ve stopped at ‘strange.’ No idea what I ever saw in him.”

Jamie has a crushing grip on your waist so you wiggle a bit to get him to loosen up.

“Prick,” he mutters. “How the fuck did he even get here, anyway? He’s in fucking America.”

“His wife’s loosely related to Stella. They asked for an invite,” Isabel volunteers.

Jamie rolls his eyes. “Oi, if he tries to talk to you again, I’ll grab Roy and we’ll fucking kill him.”

“Yeah, ‘cause McAdoo’s never been above a little violence at a party,” Jack grins.

You return his smile and say, “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure his mother-in-law would kill you.”

Erling huffs out a laugh. “Never a dull moment in the Premier League, is there?”

Isabel grins and loops her arm through his. “I’m tired of all this,” she says. “Let’s go dancing. There’s a band and we don’t have to think about anything other than celebrating, yes?”

“God yes,” says Sasha.

Jamie still looks murderous, but you squeeze his hand once and whisper, “I’m fine, babe. It’s fine.”

He looks like he wants to argue, but he lets you pull him along to the dance floor with the group.

—

There are so many people that you don’t even catch a glimpse of Jake and Emma. You’re not sure what they’re up to, and fairly certain they don’t know anyone else here. You on the other hand, are living your best life as Jamie sings along to “Ain’t No Mountain.” He’s swinging your arms around as he sways in time to the music. You just let him lead you however he wants. The song ends and he presses his lips to your ear so you can hear him over the sheer volume of everyone talking. “D’you want a drink? I can go get you something.”

You nod and mouth my usual, please, so he salutes and begins weaving his way through the crowd. You watch him as long as you can before spinning back around with a smile.

A smile that quickly fades when you realize Emma is right in front of you.

She says, “Cute dress,” and for a moment, you believe she’s being sincere but then she follows it up with, “Did you borrow it from your grandma’s closet? I’ve seen people do that.”

Right, because grandmas are known for wearing dresses like this.

“What? No, Jamie got it for me,” you say.

“Oh cute, is it from Walmart? I think I saw something like it there last week.”

Emma is trying to draw blood. You suppose she’s taking her shot now as opposed to back then because she thinks there’s no one around to call her out. No one who knows her.

You say, “They don’t have Walmart here,” instead of “It’s Dolce & Gabbana,” because the second phrase would make you sound like a prick. There’s a part of you that wants to be a prick, though, wants to channel that part of Jamie that’s ruthless, vicious and cruel, messing with the opposition before he cuts them down.

The first time you saw it, it was hard to believe the Jamie on the pitch was the same Jamie who played with your hair while you cooked, or put a sticky note on his fridge titled “Babe,” detailing everything you’d ever said you liked.

Emma sees she’s not getting to you, so she changes tactics. “Must be hard being here without any friends,” she remarks. “All alone. And you’ve never been especially extraverted. Are those people the only ones here you know?”

God, Jamie, where are you?

You open your mouth to respond but are cut off by someone with a distinctly midwestern twang say, “I heard one of my favorite countrywomen was here.”

You turn to see Ted Lasso grinning at you in a black suit. It’s the same smile you remember, albeit his eyes are a little sharp. You’d bet anything he knows exactly what’s going on between you and Emma.

“Ted!” you smile as a rush of relief floods your system. You step into his arms for a hug as he says, “Hey, sweetheart. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know,” you say. “Kind of great, actually. I wondered if you were going to be here! Have you seen Jamie yet?”

Ted shakes his head. “Y’know, I haven’t. Why don’t we find him together?” He offers you an arm and you take it gratefully, choosing not to spare Emma a glance.

“She seems like a real bucket of laughs,” Ted remarks.

“You have no idea. That’s my ex’s wife.”

Whatever Ted thought you were going to say, he certainly wasn’t prepared for that. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before settling on a short, “Well I’ll be danged.”

You laugh and stand on tiptoes to try to see Jamie. You don’t see him, but you catch a glimpse of an especially tall, blond head.

“This way,” you tell Ted. You brush past Phil who smiles at you, past Colin and Michael, and past someone you’re pretty sure is a Beckham.

You make your way to Erling and Isabel as they dance to the music in their own corner.

You frown. “Have you seen Jamie?” you shout.

Isabel shakes her head. “He was looking for you,” she calls back.

“Oh,” you say, “Ted, this is Isabel and-”

“Erling Haaland,” Ted says, hand outstretched. “Pleasure to meet you, son. Big fan of the way you play the game.”

You miss Erling’s response, startled by a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Sam standing behind you.

“Sam!” you exclaim with a grin, “You look so handsome!”

Sam returns your grin and strikes a pose. “I’ve been sent on a very important mission. I am to retrieve you and bring you to Jamie and I am under no circumstances allowed to let a small rat man named Jake speak to you.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Jamie’s words, not mine,” Sam clarifies. “Although I must admit, I have seen this rat man. I do not like him very much.”

“You and me both,” you agree. You wave to Isabel and pat Ted on the arm before following Sam.

He leads you away from the crowd of people to a stone path illuminated by small lights. This can’t be right, you think but Sam points down the path and says, “This is where I leave you.”

He turns to leave then changes his mind and spins back around. “It was lovely seeing you today, albeit for a short amount of time. I hope I will be seeing more of you while we are here. It is not often I meet someone who makes Jamie more tolerable.”

He speaks with a touch of humor and it’s just enough to dispel any apprehensions about what’s waiting for you in the dark.

You say, “Thanks Sam. Love ya,” which he returns before he disappears back to the main party.

You take a breath and head down the steps.

It’s dark, the light barely shining enough for each step, but as you get farther you see a shadowy figure sitting on a bench under a tree. You smile. You can tell exactly who it is by his silhouette.

Jamie stands as you get closer and pulls you into his arms.

“Thought we’d sneak away to make out a bit,” he says. “And maybe to you wouldn’t yell at me in front of all our friends.”

You groan. “What did you do? Please tell me it has nothing to do with Roy. Or Jack. Oh my god, did you two start convincing people you were separated at birth again? Because it’s really only funny one time.”

“Well…” Jamie hedges.

You pinch his back. It’s the only part of him you can reach at the moment. “Jamie Tartt, you’d better tell me what you did right now or so help me you are going to be sleeping on the couch for the rest of our lives.”

“Oi, don’t fucking do that!”

He reaches back to grab your hands and holds them flat on his chest. “We- Roy, Grealish, and me, might have gotten your prick ex kicked out.”

“You what?” you gasp.

Jamie starts speaking in a rush before you can say anything else. “Look, y’know how protective Grealish gets, especially because Sasha fucking loves you, and then Roy heard that your prick ex was here (not the twat ex) and he said it’s easier for him to get in and out of fights on account of him being a fucking manager but then Grealish said that it’s pretty much expected that fights happen so might as well and anyway, no one’s gonna fuckin’ snitch on any of us because (hate to break it to you babe), but you’re, like, everyone’s kid sister. They’d fucking kill for you so it’s possible that we channeled that into threatening to break all of his bones if he ever ended up in the same country as you again.”

You’re processing all of the things Jamie said plus the incredible speed at which he said them, so all you can manage is a single “Okay,” before he’s talking again.

“Ehm, it’s also slightly-fucking-possible that someone did break his foot.”

“What?” you all but shout.

“Coordinated effort between Isa and Haaland,” Jamie says. “Lad’s a fucking wall, don’t know if you’ve noticed.”

“Jesus, Jamie,” you groan. “I don’t know if I should kiss you or pinch you again.”

“You can do both,” he suggests.

You sigh. “I’m going to kiss you. Like, a lot. And I’m not going to worry about getting caught and after we’ve snogged like a pair of kids in high school- sorry, secondary school, then we’re going to eat a bunch more food and dance with our friends. And if you want to get sloshed, I promise I will only take funny videos for myself, and I will not send them to your mum this time.”

Jamie says, “Liar,” as he kisses the tip of your nose.

“Fine,” you concede, “I will most definitely send them to your mum. And Simon. We’re on a group chat.”

“Not even gonna fucking ask,” Jamie says as he threads a hand through your hair so he can get at a better angle to kiss you.

—

You wake up the next morning (ahem, afternoon) to Jamie’s foot in your face.

“Excuse me, sir,” you say.

He hiccups himself awake. “Yeah?” he rumbles. “What fucking time..?”

“Late, I assume,” you say.

He groans and flips himself around so your heads are on the same side of the bed. He wastes no time in tangling your limbs together.

“Oi, koala boy. Some of us have morning breath.”

“No y’don’t babe,” he mumbles.

You scratch his head and a shudder runs through his body. “I know,” you say, “my breath is perfect. I meant you. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Cruel woman,” he returns before lapsing into silence. The sun slips through the curtains, and you’re sure it’s going to be another gorgeous day

“Jamie,” you begin then stop.

He says, “Yeah, love?” while looking up at you with his gorgeous blue eyes and you take a moment to freeze this image in your head.

Jamie Tartt, in bed, hair tousled from sleep. Pillowy white duvet, golden freckled skin, warm body pressed to yours.

He kisses your shoulder, rousing you from your thoughts.

“Jamie,” you say again, “I wanted to say-”

“Don’t,” he interjects. “You’re not fucking allowed to say thank you for the bare fucking minimum.”

“But it’s not,” you reply, opting to skate over the fact that he apparently can read your mind. “Bare minimum is like, making sure I’m not alone with him, not getting your friends together to scare him off and break his foot.”

Jamie’s been kissing your skin wherever he can reach as you speak, so his words are interspersed with pecks. “Technically, the foot was an accident. Ask any one of our witnesses. And besides, they’re your friends too. You’re the one who got ‘em all to like ya despite the fact we’re mortal enemies on the pitch.”

“You’re the one who goes tanning with Jack,” you remind him.

“Lies told by the press,” Jamie grumbles. “This is my natural sexy glow.”

You say, “Okay little British boy,” as Jamie decides that his current position is not enough and he wants to lay on top of you.

He says something but his face is buried in the crook of your neck, so all you can feel is vibrations.

You ask, “Hm?” so he lifts his head.

“What if it were us next year?”

“Tanning or breaking feet?”

“Getting married.”

Jamie goes back to having his mouth on your neck as if the air weren’t just punched from your lungs.

You’re quiet long enough that he lifts his head again to ask, “Is that good quiet or bad quiet?”

“Good!” you hastily confirm. “Good, but, babe- you haven’t even asked me yet.”

He says, “I’m going to,” as if you should have known already.

“Okay,” you breathe, “can you give me like a little heads up or something so my nails are done?”

“Uh-huh,” he says, “At the end of the week. Been planning it. Ring’s in my bag, even asked Stella if she’d be pissed that it’s the same week she took on the most un-sexy last name in history. She said she don’t give a shit as long as it’s not at her actual wedding. So.”

“I love you,” you tell him. “Not just because of yesterday or right now. I just think you’re great.”

“I am great, babe,” he says like it’s obvious. “Picked you, didn’t I?”

You crack a smile. “Alright, that’s enough out of you. Do you want to get out of bed or go back to sleep?”

“Sleep,” he replies immediately.

“Thank God,” you groan, “I didn’t want to move. You’re like a weighted blanket.”

“It’s me sexy muscles,” Jamie says. You wiggle under him to get more comfortable.

“Uh huh,” you agree, but the words are hardly out of your mouth before you’re both back to sleep.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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tallulahblankhead · 1 year

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I think my favorite interaction this season between Ava and Bea is actually the cheek kiss bc it reveals a few things about their months hiding out together:

1. That Ava has come into her feelings for Bea much more obviously. We saw in season one the way she always looks at Bea very softly. Almost reverent. She does that this season too, but the cheek kiss is certainly more mischievous than she had been with Bea in the past, indicating that she no longer sees Bea as just some cool badass who comes to her rescue. Bea is her cool badass who will let her get away with anything.

2. She's pushing the envelope a little bc I think it's obvious they're both kinda touch starved people for different reasons. That's her saying "I'm comfy with you and I'm trying to be affectionate with you, but I know you're skittish so here is something with deniable plausibility. Don't overthink it."

3. She's straight up flirting with Bea and of course it would be Ava doing it first. She's brash. She takes life by the horns. It's so in character.

4. Bea is of course overthinking that moment. She's stunned by something so small bc she's probably listing a million reasons in her head why that's a platonic kiss bc of her own internalized homophobia.

All of this to say that when you have writers and directors who know wtf they're doing, every small interaction is meaningful. Which, the moments between Avatrice have always been meaningful, and if people on the internet had any goddamn media comprehension they'd see that from season 1.

#warrior nun #sorry for long post #avatrice

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riveracheron · 4 months

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hey guys have my wild magnus protocol theory that stemmed from me just overanalyzing the little bits of content we have

i think lena is a homunculus.

(spoilers for the pilot and jonny + alex’s post pilot discussion under the cut)

basically this stems from. a lot of places w small amounts of information so some of this might be stretches. But

1. a lot of marketing around protocol mentions the theme of “what does it mean to be a person?” which. leads me to believe there’s gonna be a plot around a protag being Not Human but has the heart or whatever the fuck. standard pinnochio or wizard of oz story. sure youre not human but ur a person bc of xyz free will or whatever

2. lena’s behavior in the pilot is So odd and almost inhuman in its extremely dull corporate jargon way. she literally uses things like “you can file a complaint” or “here at the oiar we….” (advertiser shit) , in genuine conversation. she doesn’t leave the building, either and has a Generic office party.

im genuinely thinking bureaucracy and the weird eldritch stuff of the oiar is Literally all she knows, not that shes being manipulative and evil in the trailer like elias; she doesn’t or maybe cannot question the whole. asking sam about the eldritch trauma thing, something something cant understand human emotions and why that might be troubling.

also “people like chocolate cake.” that sounds weird and something someone with only base knowledge of humanity would say.

she’s described as “an odd one” by jonny and that we will “get her soon”. im under the full belief that shes the non-human character of the bunch thatll yknow. have the Real Boy plot

3. homunculus specifically comes from all the alchemy shit around protocol, and homunculi are some of the most famous alchemical creations in popular culture, and i think she’s not. an entity creation. lenas too much of an important character to just be like. tied to An Entity, as a main character extremely tied to the OIAR, that entity would have to be the basis of like the entire plot of protocol; which i doubt theyd do.

the eye is so important to archives because the themes of archives was the consequences of knowledge- the entire plot was engineered around the Eye as the Main Character Entity and the Eye was written to be that in turn, sorta similarly to how Griffindor is the Main Character House (TM) of HP with its themes of bravery. i doooont think the oiar is tied to the stranger or flesh or any other simulacrum creating entities.

all that to say i think lena is a different kind of artificial human, one that’s manmade rather than entity made yknow?

we get glances of the people above her in status, theres mentions of an ephemeral “he” in the pilot, so. heres what i think

the He in question is an alchemist whose in charge of the OIAR (and maybe other branches but lets focus w the oiar). He created Lena the homunculus to be the middle manager of the branch in his stead; “programming” her to be as dull and corporate as possible to keep the employees in line or whatever. something something shes got a plot wrestling with that and her inherent lack of persondom

EDIT: totally forgot this part

adding that the first statement’s plot was about an abomination of corpses given a humanlike shape and coming back wrong which is. exactly what frankenstein’s monster is, and frankenstein’s monster is considered a homunculus.

with the anglerfish’s importance to season 3 of archives i definitely think the Arthur monster will come up again in some form, but maybe instead of Actually being In Podcast maybe its a parallel to the main characters’ story in the same way that many s4 statements were used to give us more information on how jon is working through it all. the zombie statement when he just wakes up comes to mind especially. maybe it’s a hint and echo of what a Character in podcast (lena) is

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #lena kelley

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samuel-de-champagne-problems · 1 year

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ok but how do you think Spencer would react to you reading in his favorite cardigan and his favorite lingerie set?!?

okay but almost bought a very expensive lingerie set bc i am sad and retail therapy is the best but we all know no one’s gonna be seeing anything for the foreseeable future lmao

ANYWAY! Okay so ofc I’m saying this is early seasons spencer bc i have deluded myself into thinking he’s my husband and i am his wife <3

spencer reid x fem reader (18+)

Let’s say you’re shopping online and come across an advertisement for a new lingerie brand.

Not to protect my tastes but I think he’d like lingerie that’s mesh and unlined with delicate floral details on the sides in pastel pinks, blues, whites, and of course lavender

But also something riskier and more strappy in dark reds and black with garter belts that wrap around your body

I think he’d like the contrast of the lace or mesh against the soft, coziness of the cardigans

And then there's the fact that it's his cardigans which makes Spencer's possessive side just jump out

He would walk into the apartment, exhausted and drained, hardly realizing that you’re sitting on the couch wearing next to nothing

“Oh” Spencer would say, dropping his bag to the floor rushing over to you on the couch. He’d crouch to his knees, his hands going immediately to your hips. “What on earth did I do to deserve this?”

He lifts his head, melting as you thread your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. Spencer would close his eyes, loving the attention like the touch starved man he is.

“Being you” you’d say, gently kissing Spencer’s forehead. “You sounded exhausted on the phone, baby. I thought we’d relax. Enjoy each other.”

“I’m going to more than enjoy you,” Spencer would whisper trailing kisses along your thighs. He’d be so good at making you feel pretty you almost believe it.

He would be so gentle, holding himself back from tearing away the pretty lace and fabric. Even though he wants to rip the flimsy fabric in two.

This is Glasses Spencer (My Beloved Husband TM) so there would be a nervousness to him as he sees you in his clothes coupled with something as overtly sexy as lingerie. He would be blushing from his cheeks to his ears to his chest.

And you undo a couple of his buttons, trying to get him to relax a little bit, but just making him more anxious

He would be ridiculously attentive, whispering praise and blushing when he receives all this well deserved praise too

Once he gets more confident in his sex life, Spencer would 100% be ordering sets he would think you'd like. And totally be down for a try-on show after a stressful day at work.

#asks #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #my writing #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

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booksandpaperss · 10 months

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How Stranger Things (poorly) handles racism as a topic compared other heavy topics it successfully tackles

before we get started, I would to direct you all to some other accounts who have already discussed this that you should check out either before or after reading this post: @wewebaggit @googoogagaeyes @elekinetic and anyone else please feel free to tag yourself or another account that’s discussed this and I’ll happily boost it

Content Warning for in show examples of racism and discussions of racism, as well as mentions of homophobia and the AIDES epidemic

. While we're discussing historical accuracy in stranger things and homophobia + ignorance being present even in well meaning characters, I want to point out that if the writers of the show weren't so squeamish about addressing racism in any in depth way, than this type of historical accuracy would be for racism too.

what I mean by this: in this sense, the show is not consistent. It's clear that the writers have done their research on 80s homophobia and how openly prevalent it was, if the AIDES allegory in season 2 and the way homophobia was very clearly present in seasons 1 and 2 (it still is in seasons 3 and 4 but the first 2 seasons showed it in the scope of the entire town), but racism was just as overtly prevalent, and yet the writers have neglected to address it in the same thoughtful and coded way. if the show was just as consistent about racism as it is about homophobia, than the white characters would be at the very least shown as ignorant just like the straight characters are.

and I'm not going to say that it's completely ignored, because that's not true:

-in season 2; mike makes an ignorant comment that implies Lucas should have been Winston because he's black, and Lucas calls him on it. There's also the very racist undertones (that are practically overtones) of Billy's treatment of Lucas. -There is almost nothing in season 3 except for a jokey joke when Nancy says the whole party is her family and the receptionist, who is a black woman, gives Lucas a skeptical look.

-Season 4 is a little better, with the implications (key word: implications, I'll come back to that in a moment) of Lucas's season 4 arc being that he was trying to fit in because he didn't want to be racially targeted and bullied for being a nerd at the same time anymore, that he felt like even more of an outsider compared to the rest of his otherwise all white friend group who, as far as he knows, are all cishet and giving him shit for wanting to lessen how much he's perceived as an outsider because he's automatically seen as even more of a "freak", and his friends just weren't getting it because they were white and ignorant. So the writers aren't blind to race and racism.

However. None of the examples that I've just listed are addressed later in any in depth way; not like the homophobia is. The only one that's even remotely delved into instead of simply being glossed over is Lucas's s4 arc, and even that is still very flitted around and left up to interpretation of the audience.

The writers seem to have a very "hit and run" sort of policy with addressing racism. They clearly know they should, and they at least seem to know that having a black character in an 80s setting with a cast of mostly white characters inherently creates a lot of racial subtext-

-for example, the very loud subtext of Jason (a white boy much older than Lucas) seeing Max (a white girl) in a trance alone with Lucas (a black boy) and immediately assuming the worst + Jason's white friends tackling an 11 year old black girl to the ground: subtext that I'm still not sure if the writers and directors were even aware of bc they never addressed it and their track record isn't great-

-but they hardly do anything about it.

I'm not surprised, considering this show is headed by two white men, but what really gets me is that they all truly could have tried harder. Like I said earlier, it's clear they've done research and put thought into addressing homophobia (it still could've been handled better but that's an entirely different conversation), and it's evident from Max's s4 arc that they also did research on Depression, PTSD, and the impacts on someone of their abusive family member dying. So the lack of care and thought put into addressing racism in the same way is clearly more than ignorance (which would still be bad, when you're writing a show this big in 2023 with topics like this you're actually, shocker, responsible for making sure they're addressed properly, ignorance is a choice at that point), its just fucking lazy. they don't care. And this not caring is inherently harmful on a show this big and frankly, I'm tired of so many viewers and people in this fandom straight up ignoring this fact, just like the show runners.

And I haven't even covered the complete lack of effort put into Patrick's backstory, or the fact that Erica is very much the sassy, mature for her age black girl stereotype (she deserves so much better). Oh, And we can’t forget the copaganda.

I'm glad that season 4 started to explore the dynamic between Lucas and Erica and expand on both their characters, and from the looks of things that will continue in season 5, so the writers have a chance to do their research, actually put effort more effort into the sinclair sibling’s characters, and improve, and I'm hoping they will but as of right now I don't trust them to, and won't unless they prove me wrong.

TDLR; the main issue is that Stranger Things is clearly a show that addresses topics like depression, abuse, homophobia, and racism, but the racism part is neglected compared to the others, just like how Lucas and Erica's characters are handled poorly compared to the white characters,. it's lazy, horribly insensitive, and racist in and of itself. There's a clear bias, and even if it improves in season 5 we still should be talking about it, and more white people (yes white queer people included, we are not exempt from this discussion, if anything we should care just as much about it as when we’re talking about homophobia) in this fandom need to start listening when black and brown people do talk about it instead of just waltzing through and ignoring it for your own peace of mind.

also I should clarify that I myself am white, I made sure I did research before making this post in order to talk about this accurately and consciously, but if I made any mistakes or said something insensitive or used an incorrect term or anything else, feel free to correct me and I will readily fix it

as a final note: please check my rebligs of this for links to more posts that talk abt this issue

#also I know this is a lot of text I’m sorry I tried my best to format it but it’ll be way easier to read on desktop than on ur phone #stranger things #stranger things analysis #stranger things fandom #tw racsim #elli talks stranger things

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inchidentally · 3 months

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https://x.com/charlclerc/status/1749478427239891090?s=20

I think someone here missed the sight of a soaked Oscar <3

ok so big shock!! I'm gonna use this sweet little morsel of Lando pausing in his remaining winter break to look back on that glorious day

to create an absolute smorgasbord of what Suzuka meant to him and to Oscar

I've edited together the most chewable parts of the post race press conference tho tbh it's mostly just removing the parts where Max tries his best to put a slight new twist on answering the exact same questions as last weekend lgflajsg.

so at the start I love the little private smile Lando and Oscar share when Max's fanfare is going on - it gives me a little rueful but also slightly creepy twinning vestal virgins au like are we going to destroy him Lando? yes we are going to destroy him Oscar

(I AM NOT BEING SERIOUS IT'S JUST JOKES).

which is even funnier with what Max leads into about seeing these two goddamn McLarens sandwiching him and for a split second thinking ah so they want to destroy me? oh dear. like Max is very at home on that couch but the presence of these two creatures sharing covert smiles with each other has him (and probably a lot of that room) uneasily wondering if that's all y'know, normal and above board? they're not like... witches, right? haha. crazy!

and I think the cool meticulous way Lando treats his own performance is a really good example of how (in my opinion!) his self-flagellation does need to be reeled in because he's never the sort to be soaring high enough to compensate for those lowest lows. for a while I was undecided but honestly I agree with Martin Brundle, Jenson Button and Oscar who've said (in different ways and indirectly from Oscar) that Lando is far too level-headed and race smart to be hanging his own tender hide out like he does. I so appreciate how measured he was in self-approval over his back to back podiums and no one's asking him to get cocky, but I'd really love to see him match this approach to when he struggles as a driver (and not just a car issue which was the case pre Silverstone).

contrast that with Oscar discussing his own self-criticisms of the weekend but equally saying he'll still relish the maiden podium. and crucially that he can fairly put at least part of his struggles - which he was also meticulous about - down to this being his first time racing at Suzuka. an anon sent an ask about Andrea praising Oscar specifically for his performance there and you can really feel the influence Andrea has had throughout the season on Oscar. because before Silverstone, Oscar had a tendency to monotone lowness and disappointment in himself that bordered dangerously on bitterness and maybe even a fear/doubt of how his rookie season would indeed turn out? but Andrea's approach of optimism, faith in teamwork and specifically in making sure Oscar was looked after while Lando naturally performed so much better, absolutely sank in.

and it makes sense that Oscar as a rookie has so much more mental plasticity when it comes to outside influence - and says a lot about Andrea's leadership too. it's where I wish Lando could have had Andrea as principal from day one too. bc understandably, Lando has graduated to that level of knowing himself so well as a driver relative the drivers around him that there's an existing almost prejudice about himself that the people in charge of guiding him have to overcome.

literally everyone who knows and who matters has said how similar Lando and Oscar are in terms of their approach to the car and their dedication to the team. and I know Andrea has shielded Lando in his own way by saying that it's a champion's mentality to have as much passion and emotion as Lando does. but - and this is honestly such a great piece about Andrea go read it and thank you again to @mecachrome for repping him so much - he also emphasized the positivity that was so crucial to pushing the team through those awful early races. I don't at all blame Lando for getting a bit grim toward himself at times thinking not only about that first race win but also the championship. but I also really hope that between Andrea and Oscar (source: Lando himself!) he can use the lifts of his highs to not sink so low anymore.

skipping back to around the minute mark when Lando says how much more this second place means to him than Singapore because of the double podium and also because of his own performance being better. not to get too ~contentious~ but this is why I really have needed the Singapore high to wear off as fast as it did for Lando when people are discussing Lando's 2023 as a driver and not as part of a ship. absolutely still revel in it in an rpf sense! but like, real life Lando is intensely loyal to his team and y'know what else? he's intensely loyal to loyalty. which is precisely what Oscar has been proving to McLaren since signing that pre-contract the summer before. it took an entire court case for Oscar to get to McLaren and he was met with a wall of hate coming from three sides. comment sections were filled with people celebrating McLaren's 2023 initial struggles and vilifying Oscar for how much he was costing them (in every sense) for paying out Daniel. and it was the Suzuka weekend when Oscar agreed immediately to extend his contract further.

Lando had a front row seat for all of that once the season started. and considering how few races Oscar's dad and Lily were able to make due to being on the other side of the world and final year of school respectively, Oscar spent a fair amount of that time getting to grips with being in F1, and the particular pressure and stress from media and fans, largely alone in terms of a private life. so it says so much about how well he was repaid by the team and also by Lando for keeping his cool and putting in the extra hours and keeping the faith.

and around 2 mins "we have two drivers up fighting for those positions" "we can help one another and use one another". that tandem the two of them have achieved before the season is even over was largely formed when the car was fighting against them. as was the case with Carlos and then Daniel and truly every other F1 driver, Lando did NOT have to intervene or take on a specific responsibility toward Oscar. F1 drivers aren't pack animals, they move through their careers alone and are happy if they can be buddies with their partner. so to see Lando as the number one show faith in Oscar and stand up for him and receive that trust and faith in return is so unique. Lando controlled that as much as Andrea did - maybe even more considering how he says he feels Oscar is so similar to him in a lot of ways. it's not uncommon for charismatic guys like Lando, Carlos and Daniel to make friends with their team mate.

but I think the whole "Lando effect" thing has actually been a huge disservice to what Lando has put into the partnership with Oscar. in this interview early on in the season, he says how Oscar is really quiet and that it's just how most people are in their first year and "we'll change him". but as we've seen, Oscar didn't end up changing and funnily enough the hanging out he and Lando do off the track has been as private and only alluded to as the rest of Oscar's private life. Lando got a lot of Oscar on his camera (again, a lot we haven't gotten to see yet) but really there was no big transformation in terms of Oscar becoming one of the charismatic personalities of the grid. and yet he and Lando only got closer and more supportive of each other in all the ways that matter to a partnership. so I think it's a much bigger credit to Lando that he learned to understand Oscar's personality better and still found ways to establish that sense of trust and loyalty without a bromance or a bunch of common interests to act as glue.

when they do that slightly eerie, intense active listening when the other is speaking, it's them having a synchronicity that has nothing to do with how guys usually bond. (that's why my vestal virgins au yes I know it's weird)

Lando wasn't in any position of power for any of that to be relevant with Carlos or Daniel - Carlos was so far advanced already in his career and Daniel had his thing going on w McLaren that Lando had no control over (and rightly didn't respond to people demanding he show some kind of shame?? or partake in the blame). so loyalty never really played a part in his partnerships with those two, whereas (and maybe as a result of that) Lando's loyalty to McLaren as a team only grew each season. so seeing someone close to his own age but far behind in experience, work so hard and prove so early on that he wants to stay, absolutely brought out a pride from Lando for Oscar that I really hope he will also extend to himself more. major Zak Brown levels of back pats to Lando.

and side note but it needs to no longer be a question or point of contention when Lando says that Silverstone and then the double podiums are superior races for him. Lando loves his F1 buddies, absolutely. but Lando didn't burn through junior championships by favoring his buddies. he loves racing and his team more. and he sure didn't get that second place podium in Singapore because of a buddy, it was because of the position he'd put himself in. just like how Carlos would have given DRS to anyone behind him who was on older tires like he was to ensure that win. like, let's remember the manic obsession that has brought these men to where they are. buddies are a part-time thing. rpf is my meat and drink but I'll never confuse it up with that reality lol.

4:45 the Senna-Prost comparison - and I could probably get all deep about the youngest generation referring to those old bitter alpha male rivalries as something long gone (but I won't). but it's a really good call-back to Monza and the coming together because there's Oscar's ability to see his performance clearly and where it went wrong for him leading to that third place and not higher. and god, I am in no way saying that it's possible to compare Lando being in his fifth season without a race win to a rookie celebrating his first podium. I just really hope that Lando reminds himself that he's come of age in F1 in the Max Verstappen era and that in the cool down room at Qatar, Oscar giddily thanked Mercedes for clearing a path for him. that it doesn't always have to be pure perfection and pace to keep him afloat. sometimes points are points and serendipity plays her part.

"I've been drowned by Lando in champagne" god I will never be over Lando's smug toothy smile

and I will also never be over the way Lando went from clearly dreading being the "older/experienced" teammate and not knowing what to make of Oscar's quiet, reserved personality, to the intense proprietary authority of practically holding Oscar up by his collar like a prize cat in Suzuka and saying "this is mine! I helped make this what it is! look how good this is!"

all while baptizing him in champagne <3

#inchreplies #inchidentallyanessay #landoscar

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petitprincess1 · 3 months

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What critiques do you have of Hazbin? I'm wondering because I keep seeing a lot of criticism and hate towards it and I don't Wana get into something that's possible waste of time. Srry if thats rude

Dude, you're perfectly fine. I'm gonna keep it to like five points bc some things that I have problems with are mainly nitpicks. None of this, imo, is a dealbreaker for me. However, if it is for you, fair.

This is one that everyone has talked about and I fully agree with. The pacing is whiplash-inducing. I still do believe it's better than HB S1, but there is just so much information being thrown around that it's mind-boggling. The songs definitely help to slow things down a bit and introduce more info in an engaging, catchy way. However, I feel like there were some eps that either needed to come sooner or later in the series. I get they were fighting the clock, but still.

Lucifer and Charlie's relationship needed better explaining. Without going into spoilers, from what it felt like in the Pilot, it seemed like they were building up to something a bit more confrontational. I always figured Charlie possibly embellished Lucifer's words, but now it makes it feel like Charlie was talking to a completely different man. Someone that isn't even her father. Lu acts so much like Charlie, or vice versa, that it seems almost impossible to misinterpret his words.

NO FILLERS! The closest episode to a filler is the 3 ep, but even that brings up information and moves the plot along with key points. Now, that's not a bad thing entirely. It keeps you engaged. But this show very much lacks any breathing room. There's so much being thrown your way. Either things get overly talked about or not talked about enough. Which brings me to my next point-

The world-building is both fulfilling and empty. You do get a good sense of Heaven and Hell in this universe, especially Hell. You get an idea of the hierarchy and even some hypocrisy. However, we also don't really know how Heaven nor Hell operates. Like Lucifer appeared to be a shut-in. Yes, Lilith was the one inspiring demonkind, but what about when she disappeared? Is that why everything is garbage now? How much does Lucifer influence Hell? Where are the archangels? Was this conflict not important? Is there a "God" even in this show? What is Heaven's hierarchal system? There's so much being said, while also nothing being explained.

This one is the lowest for me bc I'm a bit torn on it. I've seen a few people complain about how the main characters are introduced as if you're supposed to know them. I didn't get this feeling, but I'm also a fan of Hazbin. I try to go in with a fairly "empty mind" so that I can view the material without rose-tinted glasses. However, it felt like some of the characters were given decent introductions at times. Idk. I'd like to know other's opinions on that.

Another one that I want to add is probably more diversity in the body sizes in the show. I'm not too worried about it bc Helluva Boss does a great job with body diversity, but Hazbin seems to be fairly stick and slender. But, again, I'm not too worried about it.

All in all, those are my biggest issues with the show. Like I said, none of these are dealbreakers, especially since we'll be getting a S2. Vivzie seems to listen to criticism, judging by the differences with HB S1 vs S2. So, I'm really hoping that we finally get to relax and actually get to know the characters more. Like, Adam shows the 7 Deadly Sins, while Charlie shows the 7 Virtues. I hope Adam isn't permanently dead bc I feel like this would be a good wake-up for him. He'll become the being that they were exterminating. But only time will tell.

Majority of this can be blamed on Prime and A24 for only giving them 8 episodes. I feel like either a longer run-time or more eps would've helped the show. Hopefully, they'll have learned from their mistakes in the next season.

#hazbin hotel #long post #hazbin hotel analysis #media criticism #vivziepop #ask answered #ok 2 rb

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bookworm551 · 1 year

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Of Duty and Desire | Chapter 4 | Neteyam x Metkayina!reader

A/N: So, ya girl got COVID on Monday, so I’ve had to miss work all week, but let my misfortune be your blessing bc I was able to finish this chapter early. Thank you for all the love from this fic, it’s almost finished!! I promise the next part will be fluffier, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy angst :)

Words: 6.5k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Epilogue

Fate seemed to be making a fool out of you. Before, when you wanted to see Neteyam, it was like he was never there, but now, one week after his confession, you were constantly running into him. To make matters worse, you were never alone together. There was always someone there to force the two of you into awkward interactions that you both wanted to avoid, and you would just have to pretend like everything was fine.

What was surprising was that nobody seemed to notice. Nobody paid any attention to the fact that you two were almost like strangers to each other. You wouldn't even look at each other if you could help it, though you couldn't resist watching his face every now and then when he wasn't looking.

You felt miserable, and there was no way to stop it. You had nobody to talk to about it since the one person you would go to was the one person you were avoiding. You wished that you had listened to him, that you hadn't pried, because now he didn't even acknowledge you in public. He would just nod politely like he would any stranger, or sometimes he wouldn't do anything at all. He would just walk by like you weren't there.

The only person who could manage to take your mind off of Neteyam was Tsireya. The two of you were inseparable, and even though you felt you couldn't tell her the truth about Neteyam, being around her eased the hurt you were hiding. You would often ask her to accompany you on errands around the island just so that you wouldn't have to be alone with your thoughts.

On one such occasion, the two of you were planning a trek up the island mountain to gather as many star berries as possible now that they were in season. You each had a large basket and a pouch full of water as you set off towards the trees to the mountain. As you crossed the beach, your attention was drawn to the figures of Lo'ak and Neteyam not far off.

You looked away quickly and hoped desperately that they didn't see you, but your luck didn't hold because Tsireya saw them, too. You sighed as she called out for the boys, and they both crossed over to where you both stood. You gave Neteyam a quick glance before looking down at the sand.

"We are heading up the mountain to pick star berries," Tsireya explained with a shining smile. "You should join us!" Lo'ak returned her smile eagerly and replied, "Sure, that sounds like fun." You stifled a sigh. Of course, he would agree to come with the two of you.

Neteyam glanced back and forth between you and Lo'ak uncomfortably. "Actually, there is something I need to go do," he said quietly and took a step back. Lo'ak shot his brother a confused look. "What are you talking about, bro?" He asked, giving Neteyam a light smack on his arm. "Don't be a wuss, come on."

Neteyam looked carefully over at you and hesitated. You realized that he was gauging your reaction to see how he should reply. If he came, it would force the two of you to interact more than you had the whole week put together. At first, you were inclined to react negatively, but after a split second, you said, "These baskets will be heavy when they're full. It would be nice to have more hands to carry them."

Neteyam blinked in surprise before nodding slowly. "Alright," he conceded. Honestly, you surprised yourself. Maybe it was for the best that you avoided him, but doing that was already causing you so much misery. If you could try and ease the tension between you, perhaps you could regain some semblance of your friendship again.

The four of you walked together into the trees. Tsireya and Lo'ak stepped side-by-side while you and Neteyam each walked on the opposite sides of them. You listened to their chatter while occasionally joining in to seem less awkward.

The path through the trees eventually narrowed so that only two at a time could walk together. Tsireya and Lo'ak pushed through together, forcing you and Neteyam to fall behind them. He hadn't said a word this whole time, and it seemed he would keep it that way unless you interjected.

"Hi," you said softly, looking up at him with a faint smile. He glanced over at you in mild surprise before replying back, "Hi." You took a couple of steps in silence while you thought of something better to say.

"Listen, I—," "I'm sorry—,"

You both rushed to speak at the same time, cutting each other off. Awkwardly, you both gave weak smiles before Neteyam said, "You first." You took a breath to regain your thoughts before speaking.

"I wanted to say that we shouldn't have to be so formal around each other," you explained quietly. "I miss speaking with you, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life treating you like a stranger." He took a couple of steps in contemplation. "And how should we be around each other?" He asked thoughtfully.

You gave a soft shrug. "Like friends," you suggested. He didn't say anything for a moment, he just looked up the trail where Lo'ak and Tsireya had disappeared to. "Friends," he repeated slowly like he was testing the word in his mouth. You nodded. "Friends," you confirmed.

He seemed dubious, but he nodded with you. "It's your turn now," you stated. "What were you going to say?" He looked over at you with a faint smile that quickly faded away. "I am sorry for my behavior lately," he told you sincerely. "I wasn't sure how to handle everything, so I just decided that avoiding you was for the best."

You sighed as you looked down at the shrubs around your feet. "I understand," you said. "And I am sorry for what I did, too. I should not have pried, it was wrong." He shook his head with a sigh. "I was pulling away," he explained. "You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

You walked in a slow silence for a while. The path through the trees was now clearing up and turning upwards into the mountain. Lo'ak and Tsireya were already way ahead of you. "Keep up!" Lo'ak called from above with a laugh.

You and Neteyam shared a look before increasing your pace across the ground. The terrain was growing rocky, and your large basket made the ascent a little awkward. At one point, you stopped before a steep boulder, trying to figure out the best way up. Neteyam scaled it easily before turning back and offering his hand wordlessly.

You hesitated for half a moment before taking his hand, and he effortlessly pulled you up to him. You stood face-to-face for a moment with your hand still in his. His eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes and lips for a beat before he dropped your hand and took a step back toward the trail.

Heart pounding, you sighed and shook yourself mentally. Friends, you reminded yourself. Just be friends. You pressed on after the others ahead of you.

Before long, you all came upon the bushes of star berries that grew along the trail. The four of you immediately began picking, feeling triumphant about finally reaching your destination. All around you, the bushes spread over the ground and intermingled among various plants and flowers.

"Don't eat them!" Tsireya scolded Lo'ak playfully as he popped the berries into his mouth. You couldn't help but laugh as he skipped out of reach from your friend's swatting hands. "Just a couple won't hurt," Lo'ak argued with a grin.

He headed further up to start picking the berries further away so he could snack on them without fear of getting whacked for it. You shook your head at him with a smile as you, Tsireya, and Neteyam worked closely together to harvest the sweet food. "That skxawng is going to eat them all," Neteyam stated with a sigh, earning a laugh from you and Tsireya.

"I'm glad the rain lilies are still in bloom," you noted. "They are so pretty." Tsireya hummed in agreement. She leaned over to where a large, red flower grew from the ground and plucked it. With a smile, she turned back to you and placed it behind your ear.

"There," she said proudly. You laughed at her playfully but kept the flower in place. "Doesn't she look beautiful?" She asked Neteyam. His eyes glanced up at your face, and he smiled softly. "Very," he agreed after a beat.

You turned your head away to focus on picking more berries while you felt a warm blush spread across your face. Maybe having him come was not such a good idea.

Slowly, you made your way up the trail with your basket growing heavier and heavier. Tsireya had gotten up and moved over to Lo'ak to keep him from eating all the berries he picked, leaving you and Neteyam to work in silence together. You wanted to say something, but the words just didn't seem to flow like they used to. Now, it seemed that you had too much to say and no way of saying it.

After you had cleared most of the bushes around you, you stood up to move further up the trail. As you stood, the flower resting behind your ear came loose and fluttered down to the ground. Before you could stoop down and grab it, Neteyam reached over to where the flower had fallen and picked it up. He stood up beside you and brought his hand up to your head.

He carefully placed the flower behind your ear again, his fingers brushing against your hair as he stared down at you. You felt paralyzed as you looked up at him. His eyes were trained on the lily for a moment before moving to look at your eyes. You could see the longing in his face as his fingers slowly moved down and gently traced the edge of your face, causing your breath to falter.

With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and pulled back. "Friends," he muttered under his breath as he grabbed the basket off the ground and moved over to where the others were. You stood there for a moment and took a deep breath. This definitely wasn't a good idea.

You all continued collecting berries until both baskets were completely full. Together, you and the others hauled your harvest back down the mountain, Lo'ak and Tsireya walking together with a basket between them, leaving you and Neteyam to walk together with the other basket in silence.

"Surely, we can have a normal conversation together," you said finally, breaking the awkward silence between you. "I miss talking to you." Neteyam didn't say anything for a beat before responding, "I miss talking to you as well." He looked over at you and studied your face for a moment. "I just—," he hesitated, and you both slowed your pace. "I don't know how to be 'just friends' when I feel the way I do," he admitted. "Or when I know how you feel, too."

You looked away from him, feeling slightly abashed. "I know," you said quietly. "I wish it was simple." You kept walking a few paces before stopping, forcing Neteyam to stop with you. "You know why it must be this way, yes?" you wondered aloud, staring up at him intently. He hesitated and took a deep breath.

"Yes," he answered quietly. "I know that you have a duty to uphold to your people." You nodded solemnly, turning back to walk down the trail. Neteyam didn't move though, and you looked back up at him questioningly. "But if you had a choice...," he began slowly, watching you carefully for your reaction.

You shook your head and gave him a warning look. "Don't do that," you told him in a low voice. "There is no choice, and wishing that there was will only make this worse." You noticed how his jaw flexed at your words as he stared down at you. You held his gaze for a moment before he looked away with a faint nod and continued down the path.

The truth was that you did wish that you had a choice. You tore yourself up over it day and night, yet somehow, it was more painful knowing that he also participated in that self-inflicted torture. Hearing it out loud made you aware of just how hurtful wishful thinking could be when there was no possibility of it coming true.

Still, Neteyam didn't seem happy with what you said, and he didn't say anything else for the rest of the trip back to the village. When you arrived back, you left your baskets with those preparing the food for the night. Neteyam immediately began walking away back toward the beach, but you still felt dissatisfied with how your conversations ended and wanted to give it one more try.

"Neteyam," you called out, stepping quickly across the sand to catch up to him. He stopped walking at the sound of your voice, but he didn't turn around. You grabbed his arm gently and pulled him around to face you. He turned to you with closed eyes and took a deep breath.

"Can you just tell me what you're thinking?" you pleaded softly. He opened his eyes and looked down at you tenderly. He waited a moment before speaking. "I want to be with you," he quietly admitted at last. "All the time, every day, I want to be with you." You stared up at him wordlessly as he took a breath. His face was gentle and forlorn as he gazed down at you.

"But you have an obligation to be with someone else," he continued with a slight shake of his head. "So, as much as I want to be with you, I think that me staying away is for the best." Your jaw clenched reflexively at his words, feeling the sting of them deep in your chest.

You stood there, not sure of what to say to him. "I am sorry," he whispered earnestly. "This is how it must be." Your eyes met his, and you could see that he truly looked regretful at what he was saying. He could only hold your gaze for a few seconds before he turned around and walked away, leaving you standing on the beach hurt and alone.

The hurt hadn't subsided by the next day, but you carried on as normally as you could. You didn't see him at all the whole day, even during meal times. He seemed to be committed to his resolve of staying away from you.

Later in the day, you were working in Ronal's tent when, from the corner of your eye, you saw a dark blue figure enter into the tent. With a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes. "I thought you said you weren't—," you cut yourself off mid-sentence as you opened them again. Lo'ak was standing there with one of his human-like eyebrows raised apprehensively.

"Sorry," you muttered, slightly embarrassed. "I thought— I thought you were Neteyam." With an awkward look, Lo'ak replied slowly, "Uh-huh." Taking a breath, you asked him, "What can I help you with?"

He studied you for a second. "My mother sent me to get something for a stomachache," he explained. You nodded and pushed yourself up from the floor to walk across the tent.

As you were searching for the appropriate remedy, Lo'ak said, "Speaking of Neteyam—," You sighed in exasperation at his words. You did not want to talk about Neteyam, especially not to his brother. "Sore subject?" Lo'ak observed. You shook your head, trying to remain as neutral as possible. "Why would he be?" You asked mutely.

From the corner of your eye, you could see that Lo'ak crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know," he replied, "but you're definitely a sore subject for him." You glanced over at him for a second before turning away, but you caught the expectant look on Lo'ak's face.

"What's going on with you guys?" He asked in concern. You paused, deliberating whether or not you should tell your friend what had happened. "It's nothing," you told him, grabbing a handful of leaves. You turned back to him and handed him the remedy. "Soak this in water and have her drink it," you instructed.

Lo'ak took the leaves but studied your face closely. "Whatever is going on with you," he said slowly, "it's killing him. I've never seen him like this before." Your chest tightened painfully, and you closed your eyes, fighting to stay composed. "Lo'ak," you pleaded quietly. "Just leave it."

He stared at you, unsure of what to do or say. Finally, he said, "Listen, I know that my brother can be annoying, but he cares about you a lot, you know?" You looked down at the floor. "I know," you responded quietly. Lo'ak shook his head. "It doesn't really seem like it," he countered. You felt your impassive countenance crumble as your throat tightened, and you looked up at him slowly.

"I know," you whispered.

Lo'ak froze, and his whole demeanor shifted as he realized what you were saying. "Oh," he replied in a loud whisper. "He told you?" You sighed regretfully. There was no point in denying it now.

"I sort of forced it out of him," you admitted. He hummed in understanding. "So that's why you guys have been acting weird," he surmised. You looked away from him with a faint nod. "It has been difficult for us to be around each other," you told him.

"What does Aonung think?" Lo'ak asked. You shook your head. "He doesn't know," you explained. "He can't know." Lo'ak raised an eyebrow at you. "You didn't tell him?" he sounded surprised. You sighed and ran a hand over your face. "Of course not," you replied. "It would just lead to more problems."

There was a pause, and from the corner of your eye, you could see Lo'ak watching you carefully. "Aonung does not have feelings for me," you explained slowly. "But if he finds out that Neteyam does, he will be very angry with him. And with me." Lo'ak looked at you in curiosity. "Why would he be angry with you?" he questioned.

You didn't respond for a moment, you just turned and looked up at him sadly. "Lo'ak," you whispered urgently. "It's not just Neteyam who has feelings. I...," you trailed off, hoping that he could pick up on what you were trying to say.

Fortunately, he did. "Oh," he whispered, and then his eyes widened at the realization of what you were saying. "Oh." He looked behind himself to make sure nobody was lurking by the entrance before he asked in a loud whisper, "You like him back?!"

You shushed him with a light smack on the arm, feeling embarrassed at his conclusion, but you were not able to deny it. "Oh, that is bad," he continued quietly, unfazed at you hitting him. "I thought you loved Aonung." You closed your eyes in exasperation. Maybe you should have kept this to yourself.

"We are betrothed," you explained in a hushed tone. "But we do not have feelings for each other. We never have." Lo'ak crossed his arms as he looked at you with a puzzled face. "Then why would you agree to be with him if you guys didn't like each other?" he questioned.

You let out a huff of irritation. Was he really this oblivious? "Don't you see?" You said desperately. "This has all been arranged since I was younger than Tuk." Lo'ak's eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed taken aback somewhat. "What do you mean?" He asked.

You sighed and shook your head. "My mother and Ronal have been close friends their whole lives. So, when my mother had a daughter and Ronal had a son...," you sighed in resignation. "It was obvious." Lo'ak didn't say anything as he watched you carefully. "When I turned 15," you continued, "they did a formal announcement, but it was all for show. I knew Ronal had chosen me, and saying yes seemed like the right thing for the People."

You paused as you remembered the day. Your family had seemed so happy, as did his. With hundreds of eyes on you, you accepted the role of tsakarem in front of the whole clan. You hadn't realized at the time what you were giving up, but how could you? You had never planned on falling in love with an Omatikayan warrior.

"So," Lo'ak began slowly, "you never really wanted any of this, did you?" You shook your head sadly. "No," you whispered. "And I cannot give up my position without bringing shame and dishonor to myself, my family, and Aonung. I would practically be an outcast." He nodded and gave you a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry," he told you earnestly. "Being an outcast is no fun, trust me." You gave him a weak smile and sighed again.

"You cannot tell anyone this," you said insistently. "Not Kiri, not Tuk, and definitely not Tsireya." You shot him a pointed look. Lo'ak raised his hands in surrender and said, "Alright, alright. Your secret is safe with me," then added as an afterthought, "but it won't be safe for long if you two don't figure out some way to act normally around each other. People are going to notice."

You nodded mutely at him. He was right— people would notice if you continued with this estranged relationship. "Thank you," you said quietly. "For listening and for keeping this quiet." He nodded softly and chuckled.

"If this gets out, Neteyam would be in more trouble than I've ever been in," he stated in amusement. You shot him a glare and smacked his arm again. "That's not funny," you told him in a serious tone. "Alright, it's not funny," he conceded with a wry grin still on his face. "I'm going to take this to my mother now."

You nodded and watched him leave. It felt nice to have a confidant, but your stomach still twisted with anxiety. Of all the people who could have found out, did it really have to be Lo'ak?

You were relieved, however, that Lo'ak seemed to keep your secret. He didn't tell, and he didn't try to interfere with the mess between you and his brother. You still didn't see Neteyam around very much, and it still hurt knowing why.

The first time you saw him again after picking berries was just a couple days after Lo'ak found out. You were all eating dinner together when Aonung came up to your circle of friends with Neteyam at his side. "I have found our wayward friend," Aonung joked as he sat down beside you. Neteyam had not sat with you all in nearly a week, and the others had started to notice his unexplained absence.

"Is it so bad for one to eat with their parents?" He defended with a small smile. Aonung rolled his eyes playfully. "If you don't like us, just say so," he replied. Neteyam chuckled at his friend and sat down across from you. You didn't bother looking at him, keeping your eyes trained on your food.

"Tomorrow, all of us are going hunting out past the reef," Aonung told him. "You should come with us." Neteyam paused in consideration. "All of you?" He asked casually, but you knew why he was asking.

"Not me," you interjected. "I am working with Ronal all day in the village, so I cannot go out hunting with them." Aonung nudged you gently. "You do not even like going out past the sea wall," he noted with a knowing smirk. The corners of your mouth turned upwards. He was right, you much preferred staying in the reef. It was much more beautiful than outside the drop-off, and you enjoyed the peacefulness of it all.

"I know," you said, nudging him back, "but I still wish I could choose." Neteyam couldn't help but give a quiet huff at your statement and replied quietly, "Wishing for a choice you don't have always makes it worse."

Neteyam hadn't really meant for you to hear it, but you did. The smile on your face immediately vanished, and you stared down at your food again. He saw your reaction and immediately knew that he had crossed the line. You didn't look at him or say anything else for the rest of the meal, and it weighed on him heavily. He decided to wait until you dismissed yourself to go and apologize in private, but you finished at the same time as Tsireya, and without another word, you left with her.

After everyone had finished eating, Neteyam went off on his own to find you before it grew too late in the evening. He walked through the village to where your home was, but he soon found it was empty. He was walking back towards the beach again when he came across Tsireya, who informed him that you had gone out for a late-night walk alone.

"She said she needed to clear her mind," she explained to him with a small shrug. Neteyam nodded gratefully and continued walking along the beach. He knew you enjoyed unwinding on the beach like you had the night he took you out on his ikran, and so he trailed the perimeter of the island in hopes of coming across you.

He wandered further and further away from the village until he came across the edge of the sea wall where the water ran over the edge of the rocks. He paused. When I need to clear my mind, I have a secret place I like to go to. That's what you had told him before. Looking around, he recognized this as the north end of the sea wall, right where you told him you go.

Glancing around to ensure that no one was present to see him, Neteyam walked into the waves and began swimming out toward the overflowing water. The rocks of the sea wall stood out high above the rest of the sea, and the falling water produced a steady roar that drowned out most of the noise around.

Taking a breath, Neteyam submerged himself under the water where you said the cave entrance was. It was difficult to see, so he kept a hand on the rock as he swam deeper and deeper until it gave way and started receding away from him. Following the tunnel with his hand, he swam into the entrance of the rock until he began to see a faint glow ahead. He didn't have to swim far before the tunnel turned upward and his head broke the surface of the water.

You were sitting beside the pool of water that Neteyam had popped up from, and when you saw him, you gasped in surprise and jumped to your feet in alarm. "You scared me," you whispered harshly as you took a couple of steps back to regain your composure and calm your startled heart.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly, but he couldn't resist a small smile at your reaction. "I thought I would find you here." You sighed in resignation. "You are the only one who could," you replied under your breath, sounding almost regretful that you had revealed your hiding spot to him.

Taking in the sight of the cave, Neteyam was impressed. The roof of the cave was high enough for even the tallest of Na'vi to stand at full height without issue, and in the dim light, Neteyam saw that the cave pushed back far into the body of the rock. The ground surrounding the water was smooth, and looking up along the damp cavern walls, there was glowing lichen growing over the rocks, casting a bluish glow throughout the whole space. It was beautiful.

You watched as he pulled himself up from the pool, droplets of water falling from his lean figure. "What are you doing here?" you questioned in a defeated voice. He took a breath, all the amusement from startling you disappearing from his face. "I am sorry for what I said before at dinner," he said honestly, stepping toward you. "I shouldn't have said anything."

You hugged yourself defensively and looked away from him. "You weren't wrong," you muttered quietly. He shook his head with a sigh. "That doesn't mean it was right for me to say," he pointed out. You didn't respond, keeping your eyes fixed on a particular spot on the wall to avoid looking at him.

"I know you want things to go back to how they were," he said gently, "but I do not think that is possible." You closed your eyes at his words, already feeling emotional about what he had said earlier in the evening. "I can't pretend to be fine while you are betrothed to someone else," he continued. "I just— I don't know how to be around you...but I can't seem to stay away from you."

You huffed dejectedly and fought back tears. You were so tired, both physically and emotionally. The friction between the two of you had been wearing you down since he had revealed his feelings for you. It was so difficult for you to go from being as close as you were to now having this tense and strained relationship. You wanted to make things right, but now, it felt impossible.

"So that's it?" you asked quietly. "We just go on with our lives acting like we don't know each other?" He looked down at you sadly without reply. "I don't want to do that," you continued softly. "I still care about you, Neteyam, but when you just ignore me, it feels like you hate me." His eyes softened at your words, and you had to glance away in order to keep your emotions in check. You whispered finally, "I don't know what to do to make it stop."

After a brief silence, Neteyam let out a regretful sigh. To your surprise, he took a step forward and reached out to take your hand in his. "I don't hate you," he muttered quietly. "Not even close." You looked up at his face, his ordinarily amber eyes appearing green in the light of the cave lichen. "You could've fooled me," you mumbled under your breath.

He closed his eyes and squeezed your hand gently. "I don't hate you," he repeated insistently. "I am angry, but not at you." His hand dropped from yours, and you immediately missed his touch. "I'm angry with myself for being so...," he looked away as he searched for the right words. "For not being able to let you go."

You felt an aching in your chest at his words. You had lost track of the hours you stayed up at night wishing that things could be different, that you didn't have to be with Aonung, that you could renounce your title without bringing shame to your family. You felt tears prick at your eyes as you looked at Neteyam's defeated face. The truth was, you hadn't been able to let go of him either.

You shook your head sadly. "Neteyam," you said softly. "Talking about it will only make it harder for both of us." He scoffed quietly at your words. "I think that makes it worse, too," he added. "The fact that you feel the same way, and so we are both here quietly suffering."

You felt somewhat attacked by his words. "You know why I can't," you told him sharply. "You of all people should know what it's like to have to put your duties before yourself." He grimaced. "Of course, I know," he murmured under his breath. "It's all I've ever known. All my life, I have done what is expected of me. I have always played the parts I was given— the son of Olo'eyktan, older brother, warrior, future leader."

His voice was growing more heated as he spoke, and he took a step toward you, drawing even closer. "And I have never complained. I have never once tried to do something or be someone else, and I was fine with it. Even when I wanted different, I never complained." He glanced away for a moment and clenched his jaw. When he looked back at you, you could see the frustration burning in his face. "I just—," he paused, staring at you intensely. "I've never wanted anything as much as I want you."

Your voice felt stuck. Your heart was beating so hard that you were surprised the sound of it wasn't echoing in the cave around you.

Neteyam shook his head and looked down at the floor. "Maybe if you didn't care," he continued quietly, "or even if you hated me, maybe I could bear it. But to know that you...," he trailed off, his hands clenching into fists. "It burns," he said softly. His eyes flashed up to yours, and you could see his face contorted in frustration and longing.

"Doesn't it burn for you?"

Your throat tightened, and for a moment, you couldn't say anything. You clenched your jaw as you fought to stay composed. "Of course it burns," you whispered back, not trusting your voice. "Every day it burns. Every day I wish things were different. I wish—," your voice cracked as you got louder, making you pause.

You shook your head in remorse. "But I can't get my wish. I will never get it. People like you and I don't get what we want. That is the sacrifice demanded of us, for our duty." Neteyam remained still for a beat. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I know," he whispered. "You're right. I'm sorry."

You sighed and ran a frustrated hand over your face. "Don't you just wish it would stop?" You asked quietly. He looked down at you, and his gaze softened. He no longer looked upset, just sad. After a moment, he replied softly, "No." You blinked up at him, surprised by his answer.

"I just wish it could be real," he whispered, his eyes settling on your face intently.

There was something about his answer that made your heart start beating faster. Maybe it was the way he cocked his head at you with his eyes staring at you desirously. Perhaps it was how the glowing reflections of the water around you illuminated his face. It may have been the tone of his voice as he spoke, but whatever it was, it made your mind freeze.

Without another thought or another word, you stepped forward and kissed him.

Neteyam melted into you instantly. He brought his hands around your waist as you slid your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. Your lips broke apart for a second before he eagerly returned for more.

It was everything you wanted. His strong body leaned against yours, and you could feel the muscles in his shoulders under your hands. He pressed against you, and you took a couple of steps backward with blind trust. Without breaking your kiss, one of his hands left your body to catch the wall behind you before your back came to rest against it.

He couldn't seem to get enough of you as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the edge of your lips. You sighed against his mouth, all the tension you had been feeling for so long finally being released. He moved his lips down to your jaw and kissed you all the way down to your neck. You moaned softly as his lips trailed down your sensitive skin. You raised your hand to hold his head as he kissed you when something made him pause.

He pulled back slightly, and you opened your eyes to look at him. You saw that his eyes were fixated on your neck, or more specifically, what rested on your neck. Your hand came up and felt the akula tooth hanging on the necklace Aonung made for you.

Oh no.

You were instantly brought back to reality with a sharp gasp. You pulled your arms away from Neteyam and brought the back of your hand to your lips. This was all wrong. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be doing this.

Neteyam seemed to realize at the same time as you what you had done, and he stepped back with a distressed look. "I'm sorry," he whispered apologetically. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself composed. "No," you replied softly. "It was me, I—," you took a shaky breath, still keeping your eyes shut. "I should not have— I am sorry."

You could still feel the memory of his lips against yours, the warmth of his arms around your body. Even now, you could hear his heavy breathing. You opened your eyes and saw Neteyam's concerned face staring back at you. He looked so worried for you. In his eyes, you could see the longing he felt for you, but he stayed back for your sake.

"I can't do this," you whispered finally. "I thought I could, but I can't." His eyes flashed in pain at your words, but he didn't say anything. You stepped away from the wall, still feeling your heart beat rapidly in your chest.

As you moved away, Neteyam whispered your name softly, making you hesitate. You wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms again, to feel his lips on yours. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I didn't mean to upset you." He shifted anxiously before repeating softly, "I don't know how to stay away from you."

You closed your eyes tightly at his words. "No," you said quietly. "I cannot trust myself around you." You opened your eyes and saw the pain clearly displayed across his face. "Please," he whispered. "Don't go." Your throat tightened, and tears welled in your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said, your voice cracking.

You turned, dove back into the pool, and prayed that Neteyam didn't follow you. Even if he did jump after you, though, you knew you were the faster swimmer, and you moved as quickly as you could away from the edge of the sea wall and back to the village.

That night, you got no sleep. You tossed and turned, the memories of the night replaying over and over again in your head. You couldn't shake the memory of his lips moving against yours, the warmth of his body pressed close to you, and the desperation of Neteyam's touch on your skin. What was most prevalent in your mind was the overwhelming guilt you felt at everything.

How could you face Ronal and Aonung knowing what you had done?

Chapter 5

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