#but what i'm most interested in is seeing him discover how much everyone has progressed since he left

[pocketgalaxies]

what did you mean about laudna and ashton driving you nuts?

mmmmm. dangerous territory! for me, i mean. to indulge the side of me that don't give a fu about–

it's pretty interesting how this ep turned out to be a direct comparison between laudna and ashton and how they discover and come to terms with the idea that there is an option for them to ostensibly destroy themselves in the name of protecting/helping/saving the rest of the party

a few ppl have already discussed this with far more thought and nuance than i'm willing to put into words right now but something something both of them taking this as an opportunity to Be Useful and Contribute to the cause, blind or perhaps willingly ignorant to the fact that these people love them for who they are and that they don't need to Do Something in order to be loved - in fact, losing them is actually a far less acceptable outcome to the party than whatever reward they perceive to be gained from their self-sacrifice. which is all very sad and tragic and juicy and pulls at the heartstrings which i always love. but this is kind of where the similarities end?

laudna follows this with a conversation in which she tells imogen what she would want to happen in rather explicit terms. and when imogen responds by saying she'll do everything in her power to stop it from getting to that point, laudna says "i can accept that." the next morning, they tell the whole group what happened. on the other hand, ashton pulls fearne aside and has their own grave conversation but in more vague terms, at least in the sense that i don't think fearne picked up what they were putting down or at the very least wasn't given the opportunity to really process and respond to what was asked. and then ashton isolated the two of them from the rest of the group to undergo this transformation without their knowledge. all of which drives me nuts! to see the direct comparison in which one is so much more communicative than the other

and i don't think it's fair to say that this is a consequence of the party being poor communicators overall. it's somewhat reminiscent of vax's initial response to scanlan leaving in c1 - we don't know your mother's name because you never talked about it. aka there's a difference between ashton bringing up this desire or plan to hold both shards and everyone brushing it off/not sufficiently exploring it vs. ashton choosing not to ask for their opinions, ideas, or feelings about it because he thinks they won't let him do it. he unilaterally made the decision for everyone, which is the most frustrating part for me. they presume to know what is best for everyone, and they presume to know that this is the only option, despite being surrounded by not only some of the most powerful people on the planet but also the people who care for them the most. which he said himself: nobody will miss me when i die, given that we all die - implicitly saying that if i am the only one who dies, i know you all will miss me. so to me it feels disrespectful to them, because even having acknowledged that they care, he doesn't trust that they might have ideas for a better solution or that they might recognize what this means to him and try to help him survive it. or that they might not want to be "saved" if it means losing him. or that they might like to say goodbye.

i know many people are saying that this is in line for ashton's character, frustrating or not, which i think is true. but it feels stagnant to me. ashton has come a long way in terms of learning to care for these people but they have learned little about being cared for. and while laudna is trying to believe what others say to her (that they love her, that she's important, that she deserves life) with varying degrees of success, to me ashton feels like they have made minimal progress and/or aren't trying to make progress. they refuse to see bells hells for what they so loudly and clearly are - people who love and care for each other, ashton included. and unfortunately, 77 episodes in and coming up on a vastly important mission (the first in a while), this brand of hypocrisy (taliesin's words not mine!) and lack of awareness for the group's feelings in the name of High Risk High Reward is something i have a rather low tolerance for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and for the record i've been thinking about this a loooot because i know most of it is colored by my general apathy toward this character. and i understand that a lot of people who love this character are so so fascinated by and invested in what happened. but my apathy toward ashton is something that i've tried to circumvent or logic my way out of a LOT in the past few years and at this point it's kind of an immovable object. and doing mental gymnastics to try and enjoy someone that i simply don't makes everything so much worse! so i don't mean to rain on anyone's parade but these are my thoughts whether i like it or not

tl;dr the end of this ep didn't make me excited, it just kinda made me feel annoyed and crazy. sorry

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. things feel very very complicated still. in my brain. all jumbled #but the main takeaway is that i didn't like it. dkfjskdjfksdjf #anonymous #ask #answered #critical role #cr3 #cr spoilers #cr meta #nova shh #cr negativity

[iamasimplesimp]

*scuttles out from the dark* hey

What if I make a new AU? (again)

Lore under the cut :]

So, like, no virus ever existed. It's been a while, some amount of years, and the Fazbear band is still doing good, but the executives aren't happy with the income growth of this branch, so they rework the daycare attendant (again) to try and earn more money.

Now part-time daycare attendant and part-time performer (So exciting, Moon! We're back to singing songs for everyone! Too bad we aren't actors again though.), Sun and Moon aren't a part of the band as much as they're part of a side group, a literal experiment. They sing pop songs and are practically a massive hit within the week.

The execs take a look at the demographics and are shocked to discover that it's mostly the parents and older teens who love them, not the kids. And, they discover, that it's the single parents that are the most adoring.

So, another experiment is pushed for Sun and Moon. They start creating original songs for Sun and Moon to sing, just starting with 3. And the execs watch. The other two songs don't matter, what matters is the third song is a love song for some unknown person. It’s played off cutely, an inoffensive crush for someone that doesn't actually exist.

The numbers tell no lie, the love song made over twice the money of the other two songs combined.

The execs have discovered a new market. And they figure out how to best cater to it.

Soon enough, they realize that the Pizzaplex is too small and perhaps too kidsy to reach the full potential market, so they rent out a nearby stadium for a week and write up another album's worth of poppy love songs. (I'm so excited, we're going outside of this building, Moon! Do you think we'll actually see the sky?)

Word spread, and the ticket sales exploded. Soon, the music was spread online to encourage more fans, and as the weeks progressed, the execs realize that this dumb robot is making them way more money than the original band ever did.

So, they searched the web for any sort of criticism, and find the most common complaints from the loudest fans was the fact they thought that Sun and Moon were separate animatronics, and wouldn't it be so cool to have them sing duets? And there costume and appearance definitely deserves an upgrade.

So, Sun and Moon are separated, and gifted new bodies. (Moon! I can hug you now!!!)

But, now what do the execs do about their relationship? As in, what are they to each other? Brothers? No, that limits that particular part of the fan base that ships Sun and Moon together. Perhaps they both have different types they're "attracted" to? No, that limits the market. Rivals to this mythical person's love?

And then the puzzle pieces clicked into place.

The only problem was that both Sun and Moon were too chummy with each other. So, their AIs were given an update. They act bratty with each other, so they're less likely to be friends.

But Sun especially (Hey dummy! Bet you can't guess how much I care about you!) found loopholes in the code, and despite Moon's warnings, kept pushing to show love and appreciation towards his counterpart. It was too much love, in the execs eyes. Sun was meant to be the flirty fun love interest, who has hatred and annoyance out for his rival. They can't have this love involved.

So they reworked his AI again.

Sun found more loopholes. (It’s not a hug, I'm choking him!)

And they reworked him again.

And more loopholes were found. (Dummy, why aren't you fighting this?)

Eventually they realized how much they redid his personality never worked, because his memories of Moon were telling him that he loved his counterpart. And you can't just erase the memories of animatronics. They have advanced learning AIs, you'd either have to erase the entire memory-base, or leave it alone.

And then some software engineer found a simple workaround. They changed the memories of Sun, just a little bit. The person in his memories? Their name is not Moon. Their name was Eclipse.

And just like that, the execs had the perfect animatronic who acted as they're supposed to be programmed. (Tch, dumbass, why the hell are you bugging me?) (What the hell are you talking about? You and I are not friends.) (I hope I meet Eclipse again someday...)

Now, Moon isn't dumb. He knows if he pushes with Sun any further, that he himself would be next. So. He holds back, and like a good little animatronic, he pretends to be rivals with the first person who cared and loved him.

The execs are very happy. :]

#simples art #dcamv #popstar sun #popstar au

[whentommymetalfie]

A new chapter! And again such a long one! 😃

And - wow! - thank you for your detailed answer to my question. 😃 It's really interesting to hear how you approached this big story. I too think, that it's really important to be aware of each character and their development and to maybe write it down to keep track of everyone. One can tell you're doing this because the story has never lost its thread.

And I have to say: I think the same can be said for your Oneshots. Yes, each and every one is complete in itself, but so is the big picture. Due to the fact that I discovered them not so long ago, I was able to read them all in one go, so that they really seemed like many small scenes from yet another big story. Which was great! 😊

But now to the new chapter: Alfie!!! You wanna shake and hug him at the same time. But then you get to know the complexity of everything. At first you think: Just lie down, damn it, Alfie! It can only go wrong… But then reading your/his thoughts on the subject that Tommy will of course relate it to himself when Alfie is exhausted and as a result will not ask him for help again puts everything into perspective. As already described above: One can tell how much effort you put into it and the development of the characters, which makes them incredibly alive and deep! And of course it goes wrong... but luckily there’s Esther! ❤️ I'm really glad you decided to keep her in the story. She is so great! ☺️ And such a nice ending, even if you want to shake Alfie again so that he finally says what he thinks! Things are looking as if they miiiiiiiight get going uphill. 😀

Thank you for the chapter! I am excited for the next! 😊

Thank you for another incredible message! ❤️  And here’s a very late (and again, very long answer, bear with me) 

I’m very happy to hear your thoughts on my one shots in the wtma-AU, because writing for that AU was very different from these long stories, since they’re not written in chronological order. I wrote most of them based on requests, and sometimes I got a request for something that I thought would fit better earlier in the timeline, so I had to do some planning and thinking to make it feel cohesive. Though when I think about it now, I’ve always taken requests sort of ’in bulk’ so I did have a chance to plan them out and make them work in relation to each other. I didn’t have quite the overview I’ve had with Breathe Again and Home to you, but I’m glad they feel like one long story, because that’s always been the goal. (And just a little note for anyone who enjoys the wtma-AU, I actually might have a story planned out for that, because I re-read them the other day and realized how much I’ve missed writing for it, and a little idea came to mind. We’ll see what happens.)

But back to the current story: your kind words mean the world. Alfie slowly but surely wearing himself out is something that’s been in the works from the moment Tommy got injured and had to be taken to the hospital way back in the beginning. And in some ways from the very beginning of Breathe Again. But I’ve tried to portray Margate as this sort of safe haven, where they’d gotten into a working routine of sorts by the end of Breathe again and the beginning of Home to you, which helped Alfie (and Esther) to care for Tommy. And of course Tommy’s recovery has taken a toll after so much new trauma. Which is part of the core of Alfie’s current struggle, seeing so much of the progress gone, like they’re worse off than when they started. While he’s also grown to love him deeply, and that makes it all the more painful to witness, especially since he feels guilty for being unable to protect him. 

Right I could ramble on about that forever, so I’ll just wrap it up there. 

I’ve been struggling with the new chapter, but I’m working on it, and it means a lot to know you’re excited for the continuation. Thank you again for your kind message ❤️ 

#asks #❤️

[dobythealpaca]

larry ideas??? im listening 👀🍿

JAHDHSJDHFJDJJD WOOOOH YEAH LARRY TIME-

So this will be all over the place since I'm terrible at organising and will also include some ideas about Bing and the rejects-

(Also some of this stuff is like a work in progress, I will be fully fledging it out I just am not very good at it or writing about characters in general shjdkshdjdjd...)

So Larry is a very emotionally distant character, he just lacks the ability to feel emotions in general, especially ones which are positive or good.

He has a very objective way at looking at life because of this and is very good at making logical and calculated decisions (seeing as he doesn't have emotions to get in the way of it). This is to a fault however because it can lead him to being very harsh and cruel with how he acts towards Bing and the Clones, and just people in general, as well as lacking empathy in certain situations. Like someone could be dealing with the loss of a pet and he'd most likely list off all the things that you won't have to do anymore such as "spending money on it trying keep it alive" and "wasting time doing pointless activities with it"

His relationships with both Bing and The Clones are quite mutual-

He works with Bing, who hired him as his assistant, and doesn't see it as anything more than a professional relationship. Bing however, believes they're both the bestest of buddies till the end of time! Who would die for each other no matter what! And always have each others back!... which isn't exactly true-

They met by coincidence outside a theatre and Bing being the guy he is, was fascinated by Larry, mainly his eyepatch interested him-

Since Bing was young he's always wanted to be like those cliché villains in movies. This is because of how relatable they were to him- sad backstories, appear lonely and don't have parents (perfectly relatable for an orphan with no friends!). So he actively tries to be like one, even in adulthood, which is a reason for why he calls himself "Evil Director" and tries so hard to be evil. He doesn't have to but he wants to be just like those villains. When he met Larry, he saw it as a perfect opportunity to have a super evil assistant! Which is how they began working together.

Larry and the Clones on the other hand were very different. At first Larry didn't care for the Clones whatsoever, he didn't see them as much more than just clones. Even when considering the immoral nature of cloning, he didn't stop Bing. And afterwards when they were deciding what to do with the rejects, Larry was originally going to test on them as he saw it as a opportunity to discover new things. Again this was due to his objective and emotionless mindset, seeing opportunities in places where emotions would usually overpower and discourage you.

Luckily Bing felt differently and suggested that they shouldn't test on them yet as it just didn't feel right to him. Then later on, Larry found Bing sitting in the reject room trying to get to know them. Before he knew it Bing was attached to them- and that's how they became a kind-of-family!

Had it not been for Bing, the Clones may not have been the happiest in Larry's presence :(

Now Larry is the one who takes them out and about to places however, he isn't really fun about it. He's very strict when it comes to them messing around in public and like I previously said, he can be very harsh. He's this way not just because he doesn't understand fun, but due to the fact all the rejects don't understand they're Clones. (Apart from Thomas who actually saw everyone else. The rest just believe they're a strange family as they all look somewhat similar, although some do have their suspicions 👀)

And so Larry doesn't allow them to see anyone or anyone else to see them. They'll leave the house at odd times and go to quiet places in the town and park where they can fish or relax without being spotted. This however can lead to shenanigans and getting in trouble, which Larry doesn't appreciate in the slightest. However he does tend to feel strange when the rejects are enjoying themselves.

Now Larry never really had a "childhood" in a sense. He, like Bing, was an orphan. They both never met their parents and didn't have friends either. However they both grew up in very different environments.

Brought into the Red Army at a very young age, he really did not have time or environment to develop healthily, therefore lacking in the ability to just feel emotions. (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT HES AND EX RED ARMY MEMEBR-)

The Red Army use to be a lot harsher compared to present times, which is why Larry was basically stripped from his emotions back then. It was an old method done in an effort to make super disciplined soldiers, and it was made easier due to his age. Although not continued now the army is still a pretty terrible place.

This is why he is very skilled when it come to fighting and gaining information. He worked and trained in the Red army as a spy and soldier since the moment he was forced in it, helping him develop skills earlier leading him to becoming a higher ranked soldier sooner. He was a very good when it came to shooting, he wouldn't miss and had a very sharp eye *wink wink*. Although that helped him greatly with his physical abilities, it really did not help when it came to his personality and emotional state whatsoever :(

Eventually at some point something went wrong which lead to his "expulsion" from the red army.

He had been given a target to eliminate, no matter what. And although it seemed simple, he couldn't bring himself to do it when he encountered them. So he ended up letting them go.

Afterwards there was an outrage, with it mainly coming from the leader himself. It was then decided Larry would no longer be serving to the army and dealt with him in the standard Red army way, partially taking away one of his best senses.

(This black and white version of the image since the actual one has blood in it, will post the actual one later!)

Afterwards he was thrown in their prison without treatment until they could decide on what they wanted to use him for. However he managed to escape before then, leaving the army and getting his eye treated but forever having to wear an eyepatch.

Because of all that he now struggles when it comes to finding himself and his interests later in life when he's free from the army. He never had the chance to really do that and so now, when he has nothing to do, he feels useless in a sense. He can't communicate with people very well regarding his emotions and has nothing to help him or distract him. So he resorts to reading but that's about it.

However he's got a good kind-of-family who'll help him through it <:] Tomatoredd being a good contrast to Larry seeing as they tend to feel to many emotions, Scribs to hug and look after when feeling frustrated, Torm to relax and relate with, Thomas and Matthew to help him look for hobbies and any interests he might have, and Bing his, not yet but eventually, beloved bestie <:]

And yeah! That's just about it on my Larry headcannons so far! There's some stuff I've still not included like the nitty gritty stuff in the army, multiple things regarding the clones and just other things in general akdjdjdj- I'll be making art about them eventually when the ideas are fully down! Maybe some of these will slightly change but for now this is how I see him!

(Literally TYSM if you've read this far I'm going to cuddle you pat you on the head shake ur hand and love you forever-)

#Ik not many people read this since its VERY LONG AJDBHDJD #But literally if you have 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜 #I will come and track you down to hug you- #Like it means a genuine lot if you have #Since I ramble and aren't very clear- #eddsworld larry #ew larry #eddsworld bing #ew bing #eddsworld rejects #ew rejects #eddsworld headcanons #Also ik some of this doesn't match up with the comics #But shhhh it doesn't matter if you pretend it doesn't exist 👀👀👀👀 #I just like messing around with characters that have almost nothing to them #Very generic probably just some dude- #And booom- #Skrunkle up their while life B) #AJDJJDJD anyways this took multiple days to formulate I hope u guys like it!!! #And dw I completely understand if you couldn't or didn't read all of it!!! It's a lot and very wordy and big sjhdjshfhdj

[littleapocalypsekitten]

So, I feel like ranting a bit about something that annoys me. So, a youtuber I watch frequently for politics and interesting religion-stuff took some calls and talked about Islamophobia and some contradictory things he' said. He is an atheist youtuber, but known for tolerance and being all "I don't care if you're (moderately) religious, I want allies to go after the fanatics." At the same time, he openly wants everyone who is religious in any way to "wake up and realize that it is all false." You have no idea how condescending I find that.

First, the take on Islam. (I personally do not have much familiarity with the religion), but this guy I watch seemed to fall into the trap of seeing Islam as "especially dangerous" - (the video was titled "Islam is a problem, how to solve it") which I clicked on because it seemed... kind of out of character for him to have a video titled that. He made clear that he didn't want to see Muslims hurt but saw the religion a above-and-beyond dangerous, like a bit more than Christianity. My first thought is that he only feels that way because he was formerly a form of Christian (JW) and because he lives in a society where it predominates, so, of course, like most Americans, he's not going to see the background-radiation he lives with as nearly as "dangerous" as the foreign thing he is unfamiliar with and which get a lot of war-coverage and propaganda against it. He seems to think that Islam is mostly terroristic, has fewer moderates. Second... it's the take on other religions as an "I'll work with you, but wake up" attitude. The idea that the entire world will be a better place once everyone becomes atheist. Blah! Not with some of the jerks I've known. I truly believe that the solution to religious extremism ISN'T pushing the world toward no-religion, it's fostering and encouraging BETTER religion. Also, just a good, humble, general uncertainty on all our parts. Back when I was more religious than I am now - back when I was Evangelical rather than Progressive/Universalist in my own religion (Christian-based, although I am questioning now), I encountered a lot of people who treated me like I was stupid for believing in a God at all. I encountered people who said that if I wanted to be respected as an intelligent, full human that I needed to give up my faith. This was "the world" that I was warned about on Sundays. I saw people who wanted me to conform to the world. I saw a danger to my soul. Predictably, I dug in, and was like that for a long time. Do you know what got me to mellow out? Not "Be an atheist / be a wan deist." It was... other forms of Christianity that I'd discovered. I disliked what I felt like I "had to believe" and sought out, on my own, online generally, other ways to do Christianity. I discovered the *concept* of LGBT+ Christians, for example - that Church was wrong about being gay being inherently a rebellion against God. And not just "I'm gay but I'm chaste" people, but you know, people who scholared out some of the probably-original-words of Scripture with arguments of them being mistranslated over the centuries. The same with the concept of Hell, which I'd believed in for far too long not just because of dogma, but because of depression, low self-esteem and ideas I had about the inherent cruelty of Nature. (Yeah, I'm weird). I saw people arguing against Hell USING THE BIBLE. (Talking of original languages, and of scriptures that even in English seem to counter the eternal torture idea). The people telling me "just be atheist" scared me, pissed me off and got me backlashing. It was the "Keep your faith, but you're allowed to do it kinder" that got me, well, kinder, more open, and more questioning. And, no, it does not (nor should it) inherently lead to atheism. I've seen atheist into fostering moderate religion because they think they'll eventually "save" the religious people. And on the fundie side, that's exactly why they warn against moderate religion ("you'll lose your faith and lose your meaning.") I DEPISE the idea that both drawn up "sides" seem to think of it having a single direction. Humans are more complicated than that. From one "side" (fundie) there's a scare-tactic. From the other, they may think they are being favorable, but they are being insulting.

#religion #christianity #islam #islamaphobia #atheism #I despise black and white thinking #sometimes there's a third option #or a fourth or a fifth #to be respected as they are #not everyone wants to remain you #not everyone wants to become you #get rid of your certainty addiction #wherever you are in life #can't people shut up? #and respect people for who they are rather than what they think they could be potentially? #I lost my religion but kept my sprituality #and that's okay #sometimes I feel about religion the same way I feel about my sexuality #I'm asexual so I weird everyone out #seen as nonexistant #or just a phase #rant #shadsie rants

[sitp-recs]

Do you think the friendship between George and Harry is underrepresented in Drarry fanfics? From my experience, when fics explore Harrys relationship with the Weasleys its usually Ron (obviously) and then either/or Ginny+Charlie that are used as the "next in line"-Weasley-connection. When during the school years his textually most explored relationship, after Ron, is with Fred and George. The Weasleys he has the most one-page interaction w/ are - i believe- Ron, the Twins, Arthur and Molly

Interesting ask, anon! I would say I see way less George in fics than I’d have initially expected considering him and Fred are so present in the books. I wonder if that’s due to characterization challenges? I personally think the Weasleys are rather challenging to write - especially a post-war George who’s mourning Fred’s death - so it would make sense to explore characters we don’t know much about, like Charlie, instead. Your ask made me thought of a few fics with George I really like so I’m sharing them in case anyone else’s interested in seeing some George Weasley appreciation today! It includes Drarry and rare pairs both.

Drarry:

The Wedding Banquet by pir8fancier (2005, E, 4k)

I'm lying when I'm looking away by InnerLilith (2022, E, 6.7k)

Sometimes it takes a Purim party and a flapper dress for Harry to figure out what he likes. (Spoiler: He likes Malfoy.)

On Target by milkandhoney, The_Sinking_Ship (2021, E, 13k)

A charity dunk tank, some sorry excuses for friends, a Slytherin with freakishly good aim, a (mostly) empty locker room, and one very small towel. Because, apparently, everyone is dying to get Harry Potter wet.

All Roads Lead Home by dracogotgame (2015, G, 15k)

Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.

This is Never Happening Again by hpleems (2018, M, 32k)

“Potter,” Malfoy said, shaking his head. “Do I look like I care about your holiday plans? Trust me: this is *never* happening again.”

Like Clockwork by agentmoppet (2017, E, 39k)

Draco has never been very good at trusting others, and Potter is no exception. But if they're going to survive this, they need to accept that they're holding each other's lives in their hands, and--worst of all--they're going to have to work together.

Little Spaces by dracoladon, lazywonderland (2020, E, abandoned WIP) - Harry/Draco, Harry/Charlie

Draco's back from France and working on the spell damage ward at St Mungo's with Hermione, who invites him over for dinner. Without telling Harry.

Other ships:

You've Been Had by Lokifan (2016, E, 4.7k) - dark Fred/Draco/George, cw noncon

George and Harry might have smacked Malfoy around after that Quidditch match, but thanks to Umbridge, he still needs putting in his place.

Maybe by Vorabiza (2007, T, 5k) - Harry/George

George and Harry need some time alone to heal, but being alone together opens up new possibilities.

Just Like You by wynnebat (2021, E, 9k) - Harry/George

Of friendship, grief, and getting it on with a polyjuice version of your deceased loved ones.

Hopelessly Devoted To You by Writcraft (2020, E, 10k) - Harry/George

Harry and George watch a lot of musicals and accidentally fall in love.

Viscum Album by Camaendir (2018, T, 13k) - Draco/Ron, past Draco/Charlie

George and Ron are decorating for the Weasley Christmas party and George breaks out his newest product, Kiss-and-Go Mistletoe. All is good until Teddy Lupin shows up with Draco and Scorpius Malfoy. As the night progresses, Ron discovers that people can change for the better.

Two out of Three by wynnebat (2014, T, 15k) - Harry/George

A few years after the war, Harry thinks he has the ideal life. He's working his way up to his ideal job, he's still together with his Hogwarts sweetheart, he's got a couple of great friends, and he's love potioned to the gills.

Treacle Treat by @orange-peony (2021, E, 30k) - Harry/Ron

Fred's funeral turns out to be quite lovely, Harry thinks, in spite of how heartbroken they all feel. Everyone says something nice or funny about Fred, trying to remember the good moments. Harry can’t get the words out, but Ron is by his side, the back of his hand pressed against Harry’s, his eyebrows scrunched up as he sobs quietly.

May Contain Nuts by scoradh (2006, E, 32k) - Harry/George, cw MCD

After Voldemort is defeated, the script for Harry's life comes to an end. Unsure of what to do with his life, he does nothing. Only one person is on hand to show Harry that a hero is not the sum of his vanquished enemies, but he's got problems of his own.

#asks #anon #george weasley #drarry recs #rare pairs recs

[jyanadavega]

Everyone on my dashboard is talking about Marc, Marc, Marc.

And first of all, what did my brother do again?

And second, did Marc found his soulmates? Did they jump a cliff together ? Did they fight Zombies while looking in each other eyes? Did they adopted an adorable disciple/son? Did they fight an Immortal because they can't live without each other? I don't think so !

#motogp #word of honor #me looking at everyone with confusion because of my new obsession #marc marquez #like it's not that i don't care #even if yeah a little bit #i'm happy for him because clearly he would be devastated if he can't ride anymore #and i have empathy #and i understand the interest of having an almost unreachable target for the sport #but what i'm most interested in is seeing him discover how much everyone has progressed since he left #like i'm kinda a proud mom and i want them to seems cool #like maverick #fabio #joan #rins #pecxo #franco #Miguel #brad #jorge martin #alex

[alvadee]

hi there! i'm asking bc im genuinely curious, how did you discover vic and what do you think made him so interesting to you?

i had literally never heard of him before 2017 but i wanted to watch Ryan Murphy's “Feud” about the feuding between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford and i figured i should watch “What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?” (1962) before that since the filming plays an important part of the show and i knew it's a cult classic.

and after nearly an hour into it ✨he✨ showed up

and i was like "i've never seen anyone who looks, acts, sounds like you. who are you, you're fascinating?!". after finishing the movie i immediately went to imdb, wikipedia, watched two movies he starred in that weekend, learned about his comedy career and then started to dive deeper doing my own research bcs the surface level internet provides very basic infos about him. now i’ve made a home deep down in this rabbit hole i went into. i just never had such a reaction to an actor/actress before or after that. it wasn’t love at first sight but i immediately liked him and was intrigued and impressed by him.

i think what made him so interesting to me specifically is that i have this thing for actors who are typecast as villains and whose screen image are disgusting, sadistic or perverse guys (who usually loose) but the actors themselves are very nonthreatening, charming, intelligent gentlemen. I think it has to do with the fact that they’re the best of both worlds: the kind, good man I’d be interested in irl but i also get to fawn over the fake sexy threatening scenes and situations they get to play as villains. 

i also find the duality interesting between Vic’s looks as character actor and as private person. i do think that he was a great actor and it still sometimes boggles my mind when i see him as certain characters, how a mustache could change his whole vibe and make him look creepy, how he could convincingly play sixty-year-olds in his mid thirties just with his own beard. it’s wild to me, it’s fascinating. i do think he was a beautiful man though, i think i can get when people don’t find him conventionally beautiful, especially in comparison to his hollywood actor peers, but i think compared to regular people he was, just looks wise, an attractive man. so his screen image, his job to appear “ugly” in contrast to that is always interesting to me.

another thing i think that endears me personally to him is how he managed to deal so gracefully with the outright bullying and microaggressions directed at him constantly because of his weight/looks. even since he was a child. i admire that while it certainly got to him i do think it made him a better person and sensitive to noticing other people’s pain (still wish he wasn’t bullied though, it can always destroy a person too). i think it’s one of the reasons basically everything he did was guided by love for people. i also admire that despite everything he grew a good amount of self-confidence and put himself out there, socially and in the show biz. i think there probably was a layer of insecurity to him but it didn’t let him grow self hating, like so many other male actors of his weight class, and he never projected the fat hate he got onto other fat people. he always was kind to other fat people and i think in his comedy and interviews he reminded everyone that fat people are just people. and all people are flawed, you can just see the “flaws” fat people have while everyone else can hide them. so everyone should remember they’re not better than anyone else and there’s no reason to be so cruel. i think that was a very kind and progressive mindset most people still haven’t arrived at today, fifty years later.

and everything else that make me like him so much are more general attractive characteristics, I think, though a lot of them surprised me. Vic, to me, was a case of: If you would ask me to describe my perfect man I would not have described him but being presented with him he is everything I could ever ask for without previously knowing that’s what I want. I’m fascinated by him as an actor, he could stand on an empty set doing his thing and I would hang on his lips. I fell in love with him through his interviews, which showed his intelligence and sharp wit, and the stories about him, which showed his big heart and qualities as mentor. I think he was very sexy because he was graceful, expressive, had the best face I can imagine, a beautiful, well-trained voice and was an imposing 6′3, 350 lbs bear. He was likable because he was interested, entertaining, introverted, wise, a big child, passionate, calm, a presence but not a bighead, motivated by the fun factor of things but also self-reflecting, someone who knew how to enjoy life but without hurting anyone. someone who i think deserved more respect and success than he got.

sorry, the reply is so long but i haven’t gotten an ask about him in quite a while so i have pent up feelings about him. haha

#vb

[nightswithkookmin]

Jimin is a pretty bOY

This is a continuation of our discussion on my last post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, I think I agree with all of it.

Not sure how I feel about the calling eachother out bit or near scolding of others in the comments. Please let's be welcoming and respectful of others's thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with it. It's ok to hold diverse views. We do after all come from different backgrounds and have accumulated different experiences and I think it plays out in how we see things. Everyone's opinion is valid. Plus, I purple yall.

Now, do I think he is trying to pack on muscles........? Yes. He said so himself in Festa when he said he would rush to the mirror when he thought he had gained some muscle only to find out his biceps looks like a muscled kindergartner.

He also said lately he's into exercising and staying in shape which is true because for quite sometime now since early this year he has been talking about how "weak" he is in their Vlives and have even given instances of him not being able to do certain things- certian simple and easy tasks- which is typical of him I'd say. He's always talking about how "weak" he is especially around JK and juxtaposing that with "but JK is so strong" which I'm sorry but I have to smirk at right now cos it's such a typical gay pick me simp thing to do. We've all been there.

Do I think he's trying to be a muscle bunny or revert back to his body shape around debut? Absolutely not. But I do think he is straddling the line of toxic masculinity which is what the conversation is about.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to stay in shape or even enjoying work outs. Last night I ran downstairs because I had left my stew on the stove and now this morning I called renew my gym membership because I discovered running can be actually fun to do... No. No it's not. The gym instructor would have to come for me kicking and screaming.

RM have said even though JM looks skinny and fragile he is one of the strongest within the group. Besides, this is not the first time he's expressed interest in working out and building his body- hello, on Era?

I remember people complaining he looked too buffed up in that period on SNS and PJMs quickly jumping in to clear the searches for it. The choreo for On required agility and endurance and required the members- not just JM build up some definition in their muscles.

We've seen them go through all that. So it's not simply a matter of black and white staying in shape or doing it because he feels pressured to do so. Especially, when you consider that he's undertaken some pretty unhealthy measures in the past in attempts to lose weight or soften out his body post these muscle building, weight gaining periods and we've always chalked it up to his dance and how as a contemporary dancer he has to look a certain way or this or that to try to justify and make sense of it. Next you, know there are six chapters of break the silence of him talking about all the dark places he's been, the pressures to look his best for his fans or for his job and all these other painful stories he's shared with us over the years. And it's like, but why? Why do this to yourself?

I'll never forget the look he gave JK when JK was talking about wanting to build muscles in one of the interviews for the promotion of Be- I think I made a post on it. When JK noticed JMs disapproving glare he backtracked saying he would want to stay skinny after gaining all that muscles.

I mean if I'm to be honest, he was bound to crack at one point. The signs were there being surrounded by all these men who adhere to the traditional aesthetics of a masculine body- from Namjoon to Taehyung.

I wish y'all will steer the conversation in this direction and make it more about gender norms and expressions and breaking stereotypes and diversity in the body aesthetics of men.

Jimin is a man too. He just isn't what people traditionally will label masculine. Androgynous is more an apt word in my opinion. How many times have I said, I think Jungkook hetero passes because his body aesthetics is quintessentially what most associates with a masculine man?

Breaking gender barriers is not just about embracing feminine apparels- that teeters on cross dressing quite frankly and can be a bit performative and baity. Then you have to consider their culture in itself has an inherent pro gender diversity feel to it.

Now, let me explain my problem with the Klout ad campaign a little bit.

Do you see how Tae stands out? And I'm not saying this to fuel the "Tae was their fav" debacle. It's the 007 feel... I'll explain in a bit.

Most often, alcohol advertisers as well as most advertisements intended to sell to men often try to appeal to men's internalized ideals of masculinity or try to shape and define what a man or masculinity should look like. These ideals are so often toxic and detrimental to men and mostly women too.

Take a look at these ads for example. All I had to do was google search ads for men.

Real men drink milk and look at the image they present as real men. This blatantly implies if you don't look like this, if you are not a strong cliff climbing man with abs you are not a real man.

The second image is subtle. I call it the 007 slash Kingsmen-esque ideals of masculinity. It portrays men as sexy cool badass- works out but isn't too buff, filthy rich or middle class, wears Rolex, designer clothes, is kind but has a mean exterior and is every 13 year old wattpad girls's dream of a man. In fiction, you see this kind of masculinity in characters such as Edward cullens to Christian Grey. And a lot of ads for men alternate between these two ideals of masculinity.

Do you see how they modeled Taehyung in these ads after this kind of masctheme? Tae looks the same in almost all the ads. 007 sexy cool badass.

Now, I may not be a makeup beauty guru or MUA or whatever, but one thing I've picked up on especially when it comes to makeup for men- BTS and Kpop idols mostly is that, they soften out the harsh features on their faces and make them appear more androgynous or effeminate to suit the Kpop look and they ditch it entirely in different settings.

So for instance, Tae and Kookie's natural hawkish eyebrows tend to get softened around the arch and edges- don't know how the fuck they do that- but it appears less in your face intense most times when they wear make up in kpop related contents.

However, in certain other contents that lean towards a certain gender theme those features are emphasized. Not to say hawkish features are masculine features. Just saying in men, Kpop idols, my observation is they soften those features out with makeup or surgery.

Now, take a look at JM in these ads and look at everything from his posture, make up, hairstyle and brows. It's as if someone took an eraser to his androgynousity and erased his feminine side. Take a look at his photo above and compare it to the ads.

I am not a man. But I feel the gender look they went for, intended to appeal to men, tapped into a rather outdated stereotype of what man and masculinity should look like.

What is a man?

What should a man look like?

What aesthetics of masculinity is Jimin gravitating towards now? And I'm not talking clothes, I'm talking the expression of his gender. Time and again, he's talked about how looking a certain way made him uncomfortable in the past because he was constantly fighting his feminine side. He is androgynous. Sometimes he leans more into his feminine side. Other times he leans more into his masculine side but this is the only time he's leaning into his masculinity that makes me uncomfortable to watch because like I said it bothers on toxic masculinity.

He's said whoever he was, the version fighting to look masculine, that wasn't him. So forgive me if I worry whenever i see him suppressing his feminine side and acting like 'one of the boys.' Him staying in shape is not synonymous with him erasing a valid part of himself or suppressing it. He can stay in shape, celebrate his masculinity and still be FILTER.

What I'm saying is, this not a conversation about him exercising. This is a conversation about an ad erasing his feminine side and boxing him into a narrow expression of his gender and how that might be affecting his view of himself especially in the way he's been gravitating towards a certain masculine aesthetics and how that could be toxic.

Tae has said the same thing and BTS have agreed the JM as of 2019 was the real JM according to them.They said he was that way- suppressing his feminine side, because there weren't much songs and choreos that suited him and so he had had to bend himself to fit with the others.

And so when I see him leaning a certain way I tend to wonder if his exterior environment is playing a role in that. I hope you can understand that.

He is a contemporary dancer and strength and flexibility are prerequisites for his craft. The company go out of their way to incorporate contemporary dance in their choreos for JM's sake which helps solve that problem of him trying too hard to look a certain way.

May be I'm projecting. May be my little brother is effeminate and I've always recommended Jimin as a role for him to tell him not to try to look different just because other boys look different. May be I've seen him try one too many times to kill himself in the gym trying to build on muscles and getting frustrated with himself because he ends up looking like someone else. You can't gym the queerness away. Society will never let you be who you want to be so you might as well flip it the middle finger.

These boys are being shaped by their environment. I hate to say this but the environment they are in isn't exactly progressive and the longer they stay in there cut off from the outside world...

Flying out helps. Meeting different people and being exposed to different cultures and conversations on gender expression helps.

Anywho, these are just concerns I have. Will have them till I see that's not where he is headed towards. But let's not act like these ad campaigns do not and can not psychologically impact these boys especially as these advertisers are not looking to tap into their own definition of gender and masculinity but shape it and redefine it to appeal to the demographic they intend to market to.

I think this is just a grey area for me. Rather than try to change JM to look a certain way in order to sell alcohol. I think the ground breaking thing would be to have a man who looks like JM show us how someone like him would sell a can of drink. I think that would be revolutionary.

Signed,

GOLDY

[cqtlatte]

How are you feeling after chasm quest? I really have to say, I liked dain before but its your fanart that really made me fall in love with him. The mood is just so evocative it makes me want to write a story like that

Gosh, I'm really flattered to hear that, thank you so much 😭😭

Obviously (but just in case) this contains spoilers from the quest and some extras from the Chasm exploration itself!!

For me, the Chasm quest was amazing tbh, although I felt like I had to strain my eyes and keep my computer brightness super high to navigate all the areas we had to explore before reaching the main archon quest, it was well worth the trouble LMAO. Wasn't it incredible how seamless the progression of the story felt, from something as simple as stumbling into Dain after sending Zhiqiong to rest, to each layer's music blends into its respective combat ost?

Hoyoverse possesses this art of answering most of my questions, and leaving me with 10 more, though. I used to be on my toes, a bit paranoid that Dain sided with the Abyss Order all along, but as it turns out, that was debunked since he doesn't understand how to navigate the Abyss's portals! It was a relief to know he wasn't beat up by our abyss sibling and got the field tiller's eye stolen from him as soon as he got it lol.

We still haven't discovered why Dain and our abyss sibling were travelling together as we slept, with 'fate' being a recurring theme. How does one 'find their fate'? Isn't that supposed to happen as you live?

"The keeper is fading away" line was cleared up, when Dain mentioned that all of the Khaenri'ahns were faced with erosion from their curse, but what is THIS

what is 'It?!?' does this have to do with why Kaeya and Dainsleif hadn't been turned into monsters like the rest of Khaenri'ah? Am I reading too much into this?

I mentioned this on twitter back when the trailer released, but I'm also intrigued by how the Black Serpent Knights and hilichurls were affected by the amplification device, but those loyal to Abyss Order itself seemed to be fine. Dainsleif said everyone in Khaenri'ah were affected by the curse in some way, but does the Abyss Order's contradicting will keep them from feeling the effects of those devices? And on an unrelated note, those in the abyss order are different types of intellectual beings. Who ranks higher than our abyss sibling who is a prince(ss)? Is there a queen or king above them?

It's interesting how Enkanomiya and the underground city have similar architecture as well, particularly the statues of the robed people carrying bowls (in front of the Dainichi Mikoshi and in the fountain room). It would've been nice to get some literature similar to the Byakuyakoku collection in there, but I suppose it'd be too easy, since the Chasm is so close to the surface of Teyvat and susceptible to prying eyes, unlike Enkanomiya.

And lastly, is Zhiqiong okay?

"If the interaction of these forces alone could twist stone and metal thus, if that ordinary heroine was truly able to witness the end of the pitch-dark path, how would she have faced the discovery she would make?" - Frostglaze crystal dialogue

A lot of people are mentioning that the path she took to get deeper in the chasm hinted we'd probably see her again in another patch, but I wonder if this was like a Vanessa ascending to Celestia situation.

As a small bonus, (completely off on another tangent I know), I'm curious about the 'Deathly statuette'. It immediately made me think of the bp icon, and the mural we see in artifact/talent domains, and has an interesting item description as well. Why is it red, rather than the dark blue/purplish colors of the abyss I wonder~ cough cough gnostic chorus and the Sustainer?? ...ahem. Time will reveal everything I suppose.

Thanks for reading if you made it to the end LOL.. it turned out to be a lot of speculation and questions, and I could go on because I also wonder about the Black Serpent Knights' dialogue scattered throughout the Chasm, but I think I'd get too spammy at that point!! Hopefully Dain will have a nice vacation, narrating more collected miscellany as he recovers 😔

#<3 inbox

[renetess-b]

I'm curious as to how episode 5 would go in your swap au

This one’s a bit messy because I don’t have a proper finale for it yet hhhhh

But I’ll share what I have right now:

Once again, the new order of the stone are treasure hunting, in the exact temple the enchanted flint and steel were supposed to be. Unfortunately for them, that was another case of coming out empty-handed.

So they head back home, and just as in the original, Olivia and Axel are distracted by Ivor’s mess of a house. When Ivor asked if they’ve found anything, their answer got him all worked up and worried. They didn’t understand what he was so concerned about, but he told them to go talk to him in the Order Hall as soon as possible and runs off there first. As Jesse and Petra were approaching it, they’ve spotted Aiden, who was nervously shuffling near the entrance. Once he noticed them coming toward him, he regained his composure and quickly came down to business. He said he’d received Jesse’s letter and got here as soon as possible. They wanted to resume their conversation inside, but got quickly interrupted by Ivor. He was really concerned with the fact that someone got their hands on the key for getting the Eversourse. He demanded that they head out as soon as possible, as it may not be too late.

Jesse couldn’t just leave Aiden hanging while they go out adventuring, so she quickly tells him about the confrontation they’ve had with the Ocelots the day that she wrote him a letter. When they realized that they were supposed to find a flint and steel, Jesse says that they’ve heard Lukas, Maya and Gill mention it that day. So his friends might have something to do with this whole situation they’re having right now.

Since Jesse’s group have all the information about that thing Lukas, Gill and Maya were interested in, Aiden wants to go with them. He’s only interested in finding his friends and said he’d leave as soon as they get to them. He’s very reluctant to ask for help at first, especially with how “great” the last time he tagged along with them went, but this was his only lead in months and he couldn’t possibly miss that chance.

In the end, Jesse, Petra and Aiden follow Ivor to the portal, which had already been opened. They didn’t want to waste any more time and enter it.

Luckily for them, Lukas, Maya and Gill arrived only a few hours prior, meaning they still got a chance to get the treasure first. But during that time they’ve managed to leave a really good impression on the Founder. She recognizes them as people who clearly know what they are talking about when it comes to building, and she sees their visit as a great opportunity to exchange knowledge and experience. So things are going great so far for the Ocelots.

When Jesse and the gang arrives, they break the rules by building a bridge. While they were exploring the city, they discover that some other people arrived here not that long ago too and they’ve actually managed to get into the palace. After the witness of their horrible bridge building crime informs the guards, they confront Jesse and the others in order to arrest and escort them to the Founder. Since the Ocelots weren’t shit talking them, their situation is not that dire actually, but they’re still in trouble for breaking the rules.

They’re given a chance to either escape with Milo’s help or surrender. As in the original, Ivor thinks this is the best course of action since it’s the fastest way to get into the palace and Petra’s saying they should leave right now. Aiden actually agrees with Petra at first, but if his friends are really in there, and if that’s the fastest way he could get to them, he’s willing to take this chance. Jesse thinks this all can be resolved if they just talk it out and makes a decision to surrender.

As they’re led to the Founder, they find Maya, Gill and Lukas standing beside her. Of course, Jesse, Aiden and Ivor are greeted with “Oh god, not you again”. As they seem to recognize each other, Isa asked the Ocelots to tell her what they know about them, so she knows who she was dealing with. Basically, they’ve described them as mostly harmless, but unpleasant to deal with.

So Jesse’s telling Isa everything as it is: they didn’t know the rules, it was all a big misunderstanding. And this is the first time the Ocelots have heard about the law that prohibits building and think: “??? Kinda fucked up”. Then she takes Jesse to have a conversation in private on the balcony, while the others are kinda left there to awkwardly wait for them. But Aiden got there with one purpose: to talk to his friends. And he tries to strike a conversation, but is quickly shut down by Lukas. After all, he shouldn’t be discussing personal stuff in a room full of random people, it’s at the very least impolite. But he doesn’t give a damn about being polite, he’s been waiting for this moment for months and doesn’t want to waste it. They actually end up making quite a scene and prompted guards to shut them all down.

As Jesse and Isa returns, naturally, they’ve failed to defend themselves and are going to jail, which shocked both groups. After they’re escorted to jail, Isa and Lukas are having a conversation where he actually questions her decision and laws. He may not like these guys, but getting jailed because of building something is wild. Isa notes that he and those criminals actually share the same mentality when it comes to things like these and warns him that even if they’re her guests, she expects him and his friends to respect her rules.

This time Reginald doesn’t get Jesse and the others out of jail, because he has no reason not to trust the Ocelots. They’ve been nothing but polite and respectful to the Founder and the citizens (well, for the most part). So they’re pretty much stuck there. Their best options are either to wait for Petra to somehow get them out of there or to break out themselves. Which they spend quite some time unsuccessfully doing.

Some time later they hear someone approaching their cell. To their surprise, Lukas, Gill and Maya came to bust them out of jail. Even if things are still pretty tense between them, it just feels like the right thing to do. Besides, a couple of spare hands would be quite helpful right now, as they still need to figure out how to get back home.

Waiting outside of jail were Petra and Milo. Turns out they were caught by the Ocelots while trying to sneak in and they actually agreed to help them free their friends and leave this place all together. So now basically everyone is a criminal and they all need to get out of there quickly.

Now they have a temporary alliance in order to escape while still looking for the Eversourse. Eventually they all end up in the storage room where all the spawn eggs are kept and that’s where they find Benedict. But then they’re confronted by Isa and the guards. She’s very angry that she was betrayed by the Ocelots and thinks that it all was some kind of convoluted plan to get to the Eversourse. So a big fight starts out, which resulted in Jesse, Lukas and Isa falling over the edge and discovering that there’s land underneath Sky City.

Aaaand this is pretty much all I’ve got for now lol. With how things have been going, this episode won’t have some grand spectical finale and they actually could safely escort all people to land, so there aren’t many high stakes there really, so it can be pretty boring.

Also, after this point, there’s no big enough reason for Aiden not to stay with his buddies. I obviously didn’t go into too many detail with dialogs and how the scenes play out (otherwise this post would’ve gone on forever), but by the end of this episode Maya, Lukas and Gill actually want to make things better again with Aiden, or at least try.

But at the same time I really want to send Aiden adventuring without his friends as it progresses his character development even further, plus him interacting with Jesse, Petra and Ivor even more and in ways he never did in the original is such a blast to imagine and write.

So yeah, these are my thoughts

#mcsm #mcsm au #mcsm aiden #mcsm lukas #minecraft story mode #role swap au #swap au #long post

[prompt-master]

Bear Trap (Part 1/3)

Request fill for @hibiscuswolverine and art done by @doodles-by-noodles

The world was starting to heal.

Little by little, everyone who survived Hope's Peak Academy's killing game was bringing about change to the world. It had only just started, and they likely wouldn't live to see their vision fully realized, but there was hope. Hope the world hadn't seen since the tragedy broke out in the first place.

Yep, Naegi Makoto had a lot of work to do, but he also already had so much to be proud of. He and the survivors had already proven themselves to adapt to a world that was nothing like the one they left behind. They had been given a warning from Enoshima Junko herself, but even with the knowledge of killer robots and rampaging despair-induced rioters nothing could really prepare them for life on the outside.

Honestly, they had never expected to make it to where they were right now. Proud members of the Future Foundation, able to work together with the higher ups to take down the biggest threats against the world's progression. It felt like just yesterday they were sleeping in the rubble of what once were apartments, tightly packed together in case anything were to break in. And now Makoto stood proud and tall, going over his next mission on video call with a member of one of the higher divisions.

"I suppose I shouldn't be terribly surprised that the Ultimate Hope would be so adamant on these matters."

Makoto smiled, still as strong and inspiring as it had been back in the killing game, "Really, you don't have to call me that. I'm nothing special, just Naegi is fine."

She completely ignored him, looking over the notes he'd sent to her one last time. He and Aoi had accidentally discovered a distress call from a group of survivors in an unsafe area. There was no way he could ignore something like that, he wouldn't ignore any possibility that someone was suffering like his class did. Even if there was an equal possibility that it was a trap.

"Well, your plan asks for Ultimate Detective Kirigiri Kyoko and Ultimate Affluent Progeny Togami Byakuya to go with you. With those two, plus the Ultimate Hope, equipped with hacking guns then I see no reason to be concerned for any mishaps. Your mission is approved."

Makoto's smile widened at that, feeling a rush of pride and hope at her words, "We won't let you down! Promise!"

She didn't even look up at him, simply humming to let him know she heard. But he could tell, there was a slight smile on her face. Makoto managed to melt his fair share of hearts even if he couldn't explain how. The call blinked off, and Makoto shut his laptop gently, but with no regard to what it was running.

He let out a loud sigh, slouching back into his chair. Any and all office calls felt so nerve wracking. Each one held its own weight in importance. Every exchange oversaw the future. He pulled his arms over his head, stretching them as far as they could go.

He could already feel himself getting pumped up. A small, prideful smirk snuck it's way onto his face. The plan wasn't anything extreme, but he knew with his friends by his side it would all be ok. They were meant to go together in a group so that they could protect themselves in the event of a trap or other unforeseen circumstances. The distress call came from a fallen city mostly blocked off by a collapsed building. They would drop off inside the city's bounds, and continue on foot to find any survivors they could. They knew there would be some despaired within, but that was a given anywhere they went now.

It would all be worth it to save them.

Now he just had to tell Byakuya and Kyoko the good news

It was clear to anyone near the survivors that Byakuya, Kyoko, and Makoto were a force to be reckoned with. While the general public has no qualms with calling Makoto the leader of the group, it was more so all three of them were coleading. Each taking charge in their own way, from the start of their new lives to now. The three of them were all incredibly smart in their own ways and their combined skills lead to a team that could likely conquer any despair they faced. But it took an even closer eye to see the emotional connection the three shared with each other. 

Makoto walked in front, leading since he had heard the distress call in the first place. It was certainly an interesting relationship that the three had. Although Makoto certainly didn't see himself as the leading type it seemed that Byakuya and Kyoko both trusted his guidance entirely. And he did the same for them. There was no way to describe the significance that lay underneath the floorboards of their bond. For the two most emotionally shut off of the survivors to so openly trust him? To Makoto that was enough to lay their hearts out in the open for him to see. And not to mention…

Makoto glanced back at the two. Byakuya was messing around with his hacking gun, glasses slipping down his nose, and hair nearly hiding his eyes from Makoto's view. Kyoko was taking in her surroundings, trying to figure out sooner rather than later if this whole thing was just a trap as suspected. Her eyes may be void of emotion but the color and warmth was vast. Makoto faced forward again, his face feeling just a bit hot. 

They were both really pretty. 

No, no he can't focus on his silly crushes. Yes, crushes plural. Because Makoto's sensitive heart was so big he managed to give it away to two different people. That didn't matter right now though, because the focus was on the mission. 

The town was about as decimated as it looked from the outside. It reminded him of his first experiences out in the new world, making him wonder how many survivors might be hiding under rubble, scared to come out. So far they hadn't run into any sort of trouble. No robots, no despaired, no survivors. There was really...nothing here. It was starting to look more and more like a trap. 

Makoto stopped walking at a split path, "The call said to find the convenience store but...I can't tell where to go since everything's been destroyed." 

Byakuya came to stand by his side, "Not that it should matter much all things considered. Let's just get this over with so we can clear out those insane idiots and rebuild this place already." 

"Togami-kun!" Makoto pouted, Byakuya may have softened up but he still had a habit of harsh thinking first, "don't say that. I'm sure there has to be someone here who needs saving. There's people who need to be rescued everywhere we go!" 

"Indeed" Kyoko chimed in, "but it's not a bad line of thought. If we stage a rebuilding operation here then that increases our chances of finding survivors then if only a search team walked around." 

Byakuya smirked, pushing up his glasses in that annoyingly arrogant way of his, "And to do that, we need to weed out the problems first no?" 

"Yes...yes we do." 

"Besides what would you rather do? Try to talk to the despaired? And get clubbed again?" 

"It was one time, Togami-kun!" 

Byakuya laughed, placing his hands on his hips as he looked around, "Come now, this way. All these buildings are too destroyed to make any sort of distinctions regardless. And by your sentimental logic we should be checking more than just the given location, wouldn't you agree." 

Byakuya didn't wait for an answer, he walked ahead to begin searching the first building to their left. Makoto had to break into a light jog to catch up to him; damn your long legs Togami! 

That marked the start of their exploration, building after building. They found nothing. Not to mention everywhere seemed like it has been residential, no sign of the store they were told the survivors were. Even Makoto felt like something was a little bit off but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. Regardless he kept up hope, he had heard those survivors speak with complete clarity in their voice. They had to be here. He wouldn't give up over a simple bad feeling. 

Byakuya stepped over broken glass, moving further into the crumpled home he was currently inspecting. A surprisingly intact kitchenette caught his eye, and decided a thorough search was necessary without telling his company. Although they didn't need much prompting to understand when he went off trail again. Kyoko thought if he was going to focus on possible material goods stored away in this forgotten piece of life, then she could at least see if there was any current piece of life hiding away as well. Makoto stood at the door of the house. He'd given nothing more than a glance to Byakuya before turning toward the outdoors again. Looking for anything. Any sign of life lurking under the foreboding red sky. 

Nothing. 

He sighed, turning his attention down to what used to be a grass area. Not much was left of that, in fact it looked almost like any plant life besides the weeds in the street cracks were...set on fire. The ground had this grey ashy feeling to it. And when Makoto scuffed it with his shoe….yeah, that was definitely the remains of something burning. That was a good sign right? It meant that someone was alive. This couldn't have been that long ago. 

Makoto opened his mouth to call for his friends, when a cold hand slapped over his mouth and forcefully tugged him backwards. 

Huh

Huh?!

Makoto was immediately kicking and yelling. He bucked like a disturbed wild animal, trying everything he could to get out. Wiggling, kneeing, elbowing, even trying to bite the hand over his mouth but none disturbed the individual. The house was getting farther and farther away but his voice was too muffled to ever reach it. There was heavy breathing in his ear, the air wet and warm against his skin in a way that made his body shudder. He forced himself to look up at his kidnapper. An individual with a wide smile on their face and eyes that spoke of a spiraling psyche. Everything about them...from their expression to their actions to their lack of reaction to pain...it all said despair. 

Eventually Makoto was dragged into the street and thrown down like a slab of meat. Makoto was about to scream again for help, when a hand quickly reached out for him. He couldn't help but flinch back, shoulders bunching up in an attempt to shrink away. His tie was yanked off, the force pulling his body upwards. When the tie snapped off he fell back again, he could feel rocks digging into his skin from the fall. Then his hands were tied behind his back. This was bad. This was so bad. Bad didn't even BEGIN to cover it. 

His captor came uncomfortably close, having lost all concept of personal space in the madness the end of the world has provided. Makoto tried his best to keep calm as they placed their arms to either side of him so that they were above, staring down below. There was a tense moment where neither moved, they simply tried to catch their breaths so that the silence would stop being filled with panting. It felt like a test. Like they were waiting for him to even dare to try to escape. They wanted to show Makoto what happened when he disobeyed! He could see it in their eyes! In the manicale look, in the smile that kept opening and closing like a strange gutted fish. The way their arms trembled and shook by Makoto's head, just waiting with the high of excitement.

Arms still shaking, mouth overflowing with spittle and pupils pinprick sharp, they began to slowly lower themselves. Makoto held his breath, willing his body to sink further into the concrete. His heels scraped against the ground, but he willed himself not to move in fear that any sign of escape would reward him with a slit throat. Their noses pressed against each other. The captor let out a shaky relieved sigh, as if the contact was the greatest thing they'd felt in a long time. Their eyelids fell half lidded, their smirk from excited to downright sadistic.

"I've got you now, Mr. Ultimate Hope."

Stay calm. You've dealt with this kind of person before. 

Makoto's nails gave a tug as he ran them against the concrete in an attempt to ground himself, dirt filling the space between skin and keratin. His heart hammered in his chest as if he were a scared rabbit, but there was no time to panic here. His life depended on it.  The despaired were completely delusional...which meant..

Makoto felt a laugh rise out of him, nervous and high in pitch.  A bit too high in pitch. He scraped the ground again, enough so that it began to hurt from the force. Calm down. Stay fucking calm. 

"Heh...heheh! Yeah! You got me..!" A smile graced his face, "what did you...get me for?" 

They pulled back, but not enough so that the pungent smell of smoke and ash left Makoto's nose. Their head tilted, daring to make an innocent face, "You know who you are, right?" 

"I do. And who are you?" 

Their body moved back and forth as they laughed with everything they had, their knees closing in so that Makoto could feel it against his leg. "Me? Me? Mememe?? Forget that! You're the Ultimate Hope!"

"That's right…" 

"I wonder what Miss Junko would say right now. Seeing you pinned down like this?" Their eyes flickered to the sky at the fantasy that no doubt filled their mind. 

Makoto tried his hardest not to cringe, and just attempted to change the subject instead, "Do you want me to do something for you?" It was a loaded question. One that made Makoto feel like he was picking all the wrong dialogue choices. 

"I do!" 

Progress. He wasn't sure if it was good progress, but it was, in fact, progress. 

"What's that?" 

Their voice dropped to a whisper, waning and cracking in excitement once again. They reached into their pocket. 

"I want you to watch this" 

They pulled out a little remote that looked horribly put together. Even with how much their hand trembled he could see that it was made of what seemed to be the remains of a torn apart scrap pile. Before Makoto could ask what they meant, they pressed the only button built in. 

What ensued was a large explosion. 

------

BOOM 

A loud eardrum breaking noise filled the previous silence. Byakuya was forced to grip the kitchen countertop as the world around him shook, a sudden intense burst of wind following soon after. The heat uncomfortable against his face. He made his way to the open wall, Kyoko not far behind him. 

"Was that an explosion?" Kyoko asked, not wanting to waste any time. 

Byakuya looked outside at the smoke and fire that overtook the sky. It was suffocating just to look at. Shit, it was definitely a trap then. "Looks like it" 

They watched frozen, transfixed on the horror as a building toppled from where it was standing, joining the others as rubble for them to walk on. They still stayed in place. They knew there was nothing they could do to prevent or help the issue. 

Byakuya was so focused on the sight, thinking about how he had to call for an early pick up that he didn't even notice until Kyoko asked. 

"Where's Naegi?" 

------

Makoto gasped and gasped as he ran for his life. After whatever that person had rigged went off he found himself surprisingly not being pinned anymore as the person sat cackling nearby. He had managed to slip away when more despaired came over and argued with the individual who had been pinning him.  Now he was running as fast as he could hoping he wouldn't get caught once again. 

He struggled against his traitorous tie, feeling it chafe against his wrists uncomfortably. Untying it would have been enough of a challenge without the running aspect. Now he found himself tripping over his own feet trying to think about the two things at once. 

Before he knew it, his feet had slipped right out from under him and he barely caught himself before faceplanting. 

Taking the fall as a hint, he stopped to catch his breath, looking around the area to gauge where he was. It seemed like more of the same until he saw a rather structurally sound convenience store. It was surprisingly big too for how little damage it had. A smile overtook his face. Aren't I lucky? Maybe the people inside can help me get this dang tie off. 

After letting his breathing calm down he made his way toward the store. Elation filled his heart, a familiar hope that kept him going. He knew it couldn't have all been a trap! Almost there now. Once inside he'd have someone untie his hands, and then he'd find his friends and-

His friends. He hoped Byakuya and Kyoko were safe. He had no idea how far the damage of the explosion traveled, but if it was enough to collapse an entire building there was certainly the risk of them being in hot water. Not to mention the multiple despaired that were walking around, who knows what sort of danger they could walk into. Then again, if anyone was capable of holding their own it would be Byakuya and Kyoko. But he should probably focus on his own safety instead of imagining Byakuya and Kyoko taking down their enemies in the most attractive way possible-

He was right there. He'd reached the convenience store. All the windows were covered up so that he couldn't see inside, but he knew someone inside was waiting. He just had to- huh? What's that? 

Makoto looked down to see a familiar, very unwelcome sight. It was a Monokuma with yellow and black stripes. At the top of its head was a red siren. And they were making eye contact. 

"Shi-" 

Instinctively he reeled back at the loud, sharp noise. The sound raised and lowered it's pitch smoothly, reminding him of tsunami drills he had to do back when he was in school and the implications it brought were similarly horrifying.

So much for being lucky. Makoto felt himself panicking again, the siren was loud enough to hurt his ears. He couldn't tell if his ears were ringing or if the siren was just that obnoxious. But he didn't have time to complain about that. The noise and the light… no doubt others would be coming soon. 

"Shh...shhhh!! Stop it!" He couldn't break the machine with his hands the way they were...he had to settle for getting help. 

Makoto stopped in his tracks before he could approach the door of the convenience store however, because there was someone watching him through the window. They'd opened the curtain to check what the commotion was. Makoto saw no madness or instability in their eyes...the survivors really WERE here. Makoto smiled, wishing he could wave and gesture for help, but he had to hope his expression was enough. 

The survivor frowned, eyes fixated on the Siren Monokuma. Without looking at Makoto again they closed the curtain.

No one was coming to help. 

Makoto backed away. That's ok. There was still a chance. If he ran quick enough maybe he could get away before reinforcements arrived. 

The growling he heard mocked his fruitless thoughts. That was the deranged sounds a Beast Monokuma made…he couldn't hope to outrun one of those. They were like real rabid bears but worse because they never got tired. They never stopped running once they had you in its sights, just like this one. 

But Makoto tried anyway to flee, only to end up taking a riot shield to the face from a Guard Monokuma. 

"Oof!" 

He fell back hard feeling all air leave his lungs. The snarling and pounding of the Beast Monokuma was getting louder. Too loud. Makoto rolled onto his side, scrambling to get up. He winced as a claw grazed his cheek, first blood of the night welling up. 

He felt like an insignificant worm with how he desperately rolled on the floor, hoping to find good enough footing in his panic to stand. But when he got to his knees he was met with another riot shield. He almost didn't react in time to dodge another slash from the Beast, managing to get the tie around his wrists cut. 

He'd never gotten to his feet so quickly before in his life. Bits of gravel stuck to his palms and blood ran down his right arm. He scrambled to find something -anything- to defend himself with, but he was already surrounded. It was too late to even bother going for the Siren Monokuma. How the hell was he supposed to-? 

He yelled out as sharp metal claws dug into his back, seemingly deep enough that he feared for his spine. The claws rake along his back as the beast removes them. If that wasn't enough to bring him back to reality, he was quickly overwhelmed, bruises being beaten into every inch of his skin from the shields, and slashes from regular Monokuma's on his arms. And worse of all the Beast Monokuma that was trying its best to chomp his head off with it's twitchy manic movements. He tried his best to fend it off, pushing at it personally with his bare hands despite the continuous relentless assault he was receiving. 

Another good hit with a shield and his hands slipped. In a split second moment that he didn't even get to think about, he reached a leg up and kicked at its face. He only had a moment of victory.

It bit down on his leg and didn't let go.

Now the interesting thing about Makoto is that even though he doesn't seem capable, he's grown to be able to keep himself calm when it mattered. Even at his own execution, where he was slowly heading towards his untimely demise, With frequent reminders of what was about to come, he had managed to keep as calm as possible. Even well he fell stories down into the garbage. He refused to make a peep and panic when every one of his friends could see. But right now no friends were watching.

Naegi Makoto screamed.

-----

"I'm going to kill Naegi my damn self for running off when we find him." Byakuya was, as per usual, annoyed as hell. 

Kyoko sighed, "Calm down. I'm sure there's a reason, you know he isn't like that." 

Byakuya rolled his eyes, but didn't say a word. Kyoko was completely right, but he would never give her the satisfaction of admitting that. His silence was enough. 

They had made way for the source of the explosion only to find the path to the other side of the city was completely blocked off by the collapsed structure. Due to the closed off nature of the cities remains that left them with only one option: go the long way around and hope those entrances aren't blocked as well. 

When it was just Kyoko and Byakuya there was always this weird silence. Sometimes comfortable, sometimes tense. Makoto was always the one to fill it, he was like the bridge between the two. Kyoko wished he could tell Byakuya to cheer up -his attitude was getting on her nerves- but Makoto's absence was the whole reason for it in the first place. 

"Keep your guard up" she reminded, her own hand staying close to the pouch strapped to her thigh. Inside was an all weather purpose mini notepad and a handheld taser. She quite liked her taser, it was both heavy hitting and satisfied Makoto's wish to not kill anyone: even the despaired. "I'm certain that explosion was rigged up by a person." 

Byakuya scoffed, "I am Togami Byakuya" he kindly reminded her. Kyoko rolled her eyes, she'd heard that way too many times to count. "My guard is always up and my reaction time is perfect. Maybe you should worry about yourself instead." 

"Incorrigible as usual, I see." 

He glared back down at her, still walking forward with overconfident strides, "I'll have you know-" 

There it is. Another rant which consisted only of Byakuya boasting about his own skills. She shut him out without a second thought, focusing on her surroundings instead. It's not as though Byakuya would provide any sort of new information anyway. 

"Wait." She interrupted, which Byakuya hated, but his feelings be damned, "do you hear that?" 

Byakuya paused, facing towards the direction she was looking. There was a sound in the distance, something familiar. It was far, but if he focused hard enough he could figure it out. 

Kyoko and Byakuya looked at each other, both having recognized the siren's undeniable screech at the same time. With a nod, they began to run. Makoto or not, whoever was caught by that Siren Monokuma was in danger. Byakuya steadied his hacking gun in his hand and Kyoko effortlessly pulled her taser from it's bounds. Despite their great desire to find Makoto meer seconds ago, they hoped that anyone else would be caught by the Monokuma's. But, this was Makoto after all. 

It took an undetermined amount of time for them to loop around to the convenience store, but the time spent felt uncomfortably long to them both. When they did arrive they found it was a chaotic mess. There was a group of Monokuma's huddled together over one unseen person. There was blood scraped across the concrete as though someone was dragged with their horrible injuries and all. But there were no sounds of a struggle. The sight was more akin to school yard bullies gathering to kick a victim than a genuine fight. 

Without wasting much time Byakuya fired at the Siren Monokuma, destroying it without a second thought. "Damn noise was getting on my nerves" He said. 

Kyoko shook her head, "Focus" she pointed her nose towards the pile up. Byakuya's uncaring attitude toward the situation showed that he believed the person was already dead. One by one the machines fell apart or destroyed themselves. And in their wake was a small, bloodied mess in human shape. The smell of copper and the sickening sight of messy pink was one they had gotten all too used to over the years. But that didn't make it easier when you recognized one of those bodies as someone you cared about. 

Byakuya felt harsh, furious breaths of air pushing in and out of his nose. The action was an almost unconscious response. He couldn't help but let anger well up at the sight of Naegi Makoto laying on the ground curled up on his side.

He grit his teeth, "Is he…?" Dammit. A Togami didn't hesitate. Certainly not Byakuya.

"No." Kyoko's voice was barely more than a whisper, and for a split second he thought she was simply in denial. But no, she had caught  sight of Makoto's chest moving up and down. She made way to him, hands hovering over him unsure of how deep his injuries ran. The first thing she saw were vicious claw marks running down his back. There were bits of debris clinging to the wound. They were ugly and jagged things. She wanted to roll him onto his back to get a better look at him but was it even safe to move him at all? She didn't want to risk paralyzing him. Not to mention she'd be pressing his wound to the ground. She glanced to his leg. A complete mangled mess, she could tell the unit that attached itself to his leg was relentless in its attack. Shaking and thrashing and the like. The fabric that once covered his leg was all but torn to shreds leaving the whole injury on brutal display. There was blood pooling underneath where he lay on the ground. His skin was pale from blood loss, breaking into a cold sweat that made her certain shock was already setting in. Almost all exposed skin was blossoming into a different, unnatural color indicating a plethora of bruises. His breathing was quiet but heavy, he'd already lost a lot of blood. When her eyes finally trailed up to his face she felt a small bit of relief that his features were marred by only a small cut on his left cheek, with a lazy stream of blood pouring from it. 

Byakuya and Kyoko were two individuals with a massive disconnect of their emotions brought about by their upbringing. Byakuya turned any emotion he felt into anger and disdain. Kyoko snuffed out most emotions she felt so that nothing would show. They had the emotional resolve of steel, it wasn't easy breaking down their walls. Makoto was that strange part of the equation that ruined all of that. He managed to get Byakuya to be intrigued by someone so seemingly insignificant and he managed to get Kyoko to act pouty and almost childish during the game. Yes, their entire lives were spent crafting these defenses. And now they had to fight to keep it all together with only elmers glue in their arsenal.

Kyoko was up close and personal with all the gruesome details of his attack. She tried to shove it all down so that she could completely focus on ensuring Makoto's survival. But he was looking up at her with a dazed half lidded look, as though any second the world would slip away from under his feet. And despite that Makoto smiled when he caught eyes with her. Kyoko's heart cracked. 

Byakuya could only watch with his fists by his side. He had set out to ensure all the survivors of the first killing game continued to survive and here we are. He forced all these feelings to be translated into anger. But he knew the underlying causes. He knew there was a part of him that simply was scared for his friends sake. 

The two of them both understood the others emotional grievances. And that's exactly why Byakuya's heart skipped a beat when Kyoko looked up at him with fear vibrant in her eyes. 

"It doesn't look good." 

#naegirigami #naegamigiri #makoto naegi #byakuya togami #kyoko kirigiri #whump #fanfic #dr #dr:thh #danganronpa #im so peeved because tumblr wont show this pic in the main tag #dangaronpa #dangan ronpa #naegiri #naegami #dr3 #dr 3 #bear trap

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

So there's a blanddcheadcanons post that says that "Kara is the mortal avatar of Rao" and I really don't like it, especially in the context of SG 3x04 (The Faithful). At best, as was pointed out to me by a friend with whom I discussed this post, the House of El is likely blessed and somewhat sponsored by Rao, which probably doesn't do much but produce Krypton's greatest heroes, given what the word "El" **means** in Kryptonian. I'm interested in your thoughts on this (pls post your answer).

    I reject the headcannon solely because if it were true it would mean Coville was right and I fucking hate that bitch.

     In all seriousness, though, this is an idea I've seen a lot and I'm not a huge fan of. I don't know much about Raoism beyond what appears in the show and that which can be inferred off of the show. One thing I would point out though is that El in Kryptonian (while obviously being intended to mean God by the original comic writers) can mean Sun or Stars, and since the Kryptonians in the show are, as far as I can tell, monotheistic, and worshipped only one particular star, the El family is not necessarily named God. It would, however, signify their enormous prestige on Krypton and contribute to the famous El pride (or rather, arrogance). I’m not sure it would necessarily have to mean anything more than that-- that the Els are a respected house who have produced a variety of successful politicians, civil servants, and scientists. And (this time reaching a little bit) that they are perhaps so old and respected that their house name was once a title. 

      There is a certain allure to the theory, for sure. Kara is a paragon character. She always, always does what she thinks is right, regardless of the cost, personal or global, and regardless of what other people might think of it. She has a very direct moral compass, and there are only a handful of times when she doesn’t follow it, all of which involve saving Lena. Ship who you want, but it is notable that Kara routinely prioritzes Lena’s life over that of others given the rarity of that happening otherwise. She never even considered breaking Rick Thompson’s father out of prison when he kidnapped Alex, and all he’d committed was bank robbery. Kara has lines she does not cross (though murder is clearly not one of them). She is a character that has seen some of the worst that sentient life is capable of, has seen more death and suffering than most people could imagine, and she came out of it with an all-encompassing desire to protect others. She lives to give people hope. Plus, the humor of having Kara-- the one person most offended by the idea of being an Avatar of Rao-- turn out to be an Avatar of Rao is great.

       But, I would also say that having Kara want to do good because she is the avatar of a benevolent god is reductive and not particularly true to her character. It is true that helping and protecting people is a large part of the core of who Kara is. But there is a difference between altruism and the self-destructive, bordering of suicidal desperation to save absolutely everyone that Kara practices. And to anyone who doubts the suicidal bit, I direct you to the season 1 finale where Kara literally goes on a goodbye tour because she thinks if she goes out to fight Non she’ll die. She still goes because she has hope, but that hope is that she can at least save Earth with her life. She doesn’t fight because she is certain in the ultimate victory of good and justice. She does it because she more afraid to lose another family than she is to die. Kara doesn’t become Supergirl and risk her own life because she believes in good, she does it because she can’t stand to listen to people suffer-- because she has suffered. To use Alex’s words in 1x13 “You fight everyday to keep people from struggling like you have.” Notably also in 1x13, Kara wakes up from the Black Mercy and her first words are “Who did this to me?” and then she goes after Non in what could arguably be described as a homicidal rage-- a rage that is fueled entirely for personal reasons, not the greater good of Earth (though that comes as an added benefit), which is.... not very befitting the avatar of a benevolent god. 

     A major part of season 1 is Kara dealing with grief and rage. She nearly breaks a guy's arm in episode 6 because he screamed at her for damaging his car, to hell with the children he'd almost hit with it. In season 3's Midvale flashbacks we see her first put both hands through a lunch table, then attack Jake when she suspects him for Kenny's death. She gets better at controlling it as the seasons progress, but during Crisis she very nearly melts Lex. Also not particularly godly of her. 

     Then there is the fact that so much of who Kara is is shaped by fear: fear of the government, fear of humanity, fear of abandonment, and fear of herself. In her civilian life, Kara is, for the most part, unnoticeable. She's polite, soft-spoken, doesn't wear a lot of bold colors or styles, and is often a pushover. As shown by her encounter with Red Kryptonite, Kara would not dress or speak the same way to people without the pressure of hiding her identity (though much of her dialogue is purely the loss of her "don't be an asshole" filter, some of it is stuff she had every right to say before and just didn't). I have always found that episode to be very interesting purely for the fact that Kara doesn't actually seem to be seeking harm on others so much as seeking their attention. Her argument with Alex is almost entirely about how much she hates having to hide and pretend to be less than she is. Kara drops Cat off the balcony and then catches her. She attacks the police when they point weapons at her but doesn't kill or even hurt them that badly, instead of destroying the car they're using as shelter. Red-K removed her inhibitions, made her angrier, yes, but if her goal was to actually hurt people, she could have done so-- would have done so, and with great ease. She goes to a public bar and uses super strength to smash bottles by flicking peanuts. Why do that at a crowded bar? Why not just flick potato chips at the windows in her own apartment?

      This is Kara at her absolute worst-- but does she seek out the DEO agents who shot her out of the sky? Does she go after Maxwell Lord or Non? No. She tries to make people pay attention to her. Her most shameful and hideous desire is for people to give her respect. (Admittedly, respect gained through fear, but still.). Kara's a nice person-- much, much nicer than average-- but a lot of that "nice" is just her avoiding conflict to avoid attention.

      Kara is a good person. Kara inspires people. But that is because Kara gets up every day and chooses to be good and to inspire. It's one of the reasons I enjoy Non as a villain so much-- he and Astra are Kara's narrative foils. They also remember Krypton and grieve its loss. They also were trapped in the Phantom Zone. But where Kara had the Danvers to convince her that some good people existed and would risk themselves just to help others, Non and Astra had Alura sentencing them to eternal suffering rather than helping them save their planet (through the means they thought necessary) and then landed on Earth and found it headed on the same path as the planet they'd just lost. Kara had people to help her grieve. Non and Astra were surrounded by misery. They lost hope. Kara discovered it.

     Kara is the Paragon of Hope because she has been hopeless. Because she has suffered so much, seen so much, and because she chooses to believe in a better future. She didn't have hope her first time in the Phantom Zone. She didn't even have hope for a while on earth. From what we can gather, Kara's choice to start actually believing in the future was a gradual shift that occurred sometime after Kenny's death and has lasted her ever since. For Kara, hope is learned. She chose to hope and she won't let it go, and to assign that incredible victory off to her being a God is an insult to her growth and to her character. 

   Now I personally thought “The Faithful” handled this concept very well. 3x04 is one of my favorite episodes of television in general, let alone in Supergirl. Season 3 is my second favorite season, and that says a lot for its good episodes when the bad of season 3 is so, so very bad (To say nothing of the episode to episode production value, we have the waste of Argo, Mon El’s return as obviously he’s grown he has a beard Mon El, and whatever the hell was going on with Kryptonian genetic engineering eclipse causing witches). To this day I don’t know why Kara had magic dreams. The show did nothing to explain it and I can’t imagine up a reason. 

     But “The Faithful” works because it highlights the whole paragon part of who Kara is. When you realize that every person in the room of Coville’s cult is a person she has personally saved-- that hits hard. Especially since only a fraction of the people she’s saved would ever set foot inside that building with the totally not-creepy, entirely wholesome way they deliver the invitations. (“Your daughter is special. She has been chosen. As have you.”) It works because it focuses on how the average human must view Kara, the ones who don’t see her argue with her sister over potstickers and crush her phone when she gets mad. It works because of how desperately hard Kara tries to be a human. It works because the writers know that we, the audience, do not see Kara as anything but a regular person with irregular abilities: a kind and remarkably devoted person, but not a god. 

#I didnt discuss it above. but Kara gets REALLY mad about Covilles whole deal #I really love watching her reaction to kryptonian artifacts #girl goes suspicion first and anger second #and it highlights her humanity #even as it puts her on a pedastal #Kara saved all these people but she will still tear her holy book from your hands #and scream at you for daring to quote it #Supergirl 3x04 #Supergirl 1x13 #Supergirl 1x20 #Supergirl #Kara Danvers #Supergirl meta #Kara Zor el #Raoism

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Light on me Ep 5&6

Okay, I think "Light on me" is becomming my most favorite show of the year so far. I love all the characters because they feel so very real. Each of them portray a different kind of personality and their complexity fascinates me. Tae-Gyeong looks like he's so smart with people but at the same time, he - of course - doesn't know more than people show and tell him. This show does such a great job in showing how much and how less we show of ourselves. They are always at school or at least not at each other's homes. They are always outside, so we don't know more private stuff about them than they say and show. We, as the audience, see them through the filter they put on themselves, the filter we are all putting on ourselves. And I find fascinating how authentic it is. It is not weird, we don't know more. Still, we are curious but just up to a certain extent, then there's a line we don't cross and from which we know, is not necessary to cross. Everyone of us has people around them they only meet in explicity one part of their lives like work or school and "Light on me" shows exactly this kind of group of people. Randomly thrown together, getting along very well but not oversharing and only knowing as much about each other as necessary. Is it even necessary to know our surroundings more than what they are around us? I don't think so. And this realism gets to me and my most favourite shows are the ones which are realistic or contain realistic actions and reactions of characters.

Filters

Da-On

When it comes to filters, Da-On is a pretty interesting character. He obviously hides his other emotions behind a smile and doesn't dare showing his weakness.

"I'm a bit distracted right now, so let's talk later. Pretend you didn't just see that."

He always talks nicely, keeps calm and stays friendly no matter what happens. It's his protection but also his greatest weakness, making himself hide even more and feeling even more lost. Even after rejecting a girl who told him to not treat everyone so nicely because it leads to false hope, he continues smiling shortly after. This obviously hurt him and got him thinking but he doesn't dare showing and sharing it. He has to learn vulnerability doesn't equal weakness. But that's a fight he has to have on his own first because that would mean letting his guard down plus not living up to expectations the outside doesn't really have but he has of himself. It's a false picture he draws and I was that kind of person myself and letting go of this is hard but you are rewarded with more love from your friends, so it's really worth it. But yeah, Da-On puts on a smiling filter and switches topics whenever something sad comes up, like his parents.

"I've never been complimented."

He isn't eager to talk about his parents and doesn't like them very much, but he doesn't seem to realize, he's a bit like them.

He doesn't talk about his inside as well, putting up a smile for the world to see and like him.

Shin-Woo

Shin-Woo is putting a filter onto himself as well. He doesn't hate Tae-Gyeong, more like the other way around. But to protect himself from any possible heartbreak, he choses to push Tae-Gyeong away and makes him hate Shin-Woo. This tells us a lot about him being shy and a loner. He's hardly coming out of his shell and has a hard time expressing his feelings. Not like Da-On, he is easy to read for the audience, but harder to understand for Tae-Gyeong. Unlike Da-On who is easygoing, Shin-Woo expresses his thoughts in other, more subtle ways. He hides himself pretty good, because no one knows anything about him, just like no one knows anything about Tae-Gyeong. They are the real mysteries of the show and that's why they like each other. Both are interested in lifting the veil of the other.

Shin-Woo actually takes a step forward later, making Tae-Gyeong understand him better, since he gave signs Tae-Gyeong somehow misinterpreted.

Touches and affection

Da-On

Da-On definetely likes Tae-Gyeong. He always seeks an excuse to touch him.

Tae-Gyeong is mostly flattered by it and also very confused. Even though he says "I can't just be friends with Da-On" he never touches him back.

The feelings are just one-sided here. Tae-Gyeong obviously sees something going on between them, he can't name, but dooesn't really want to have. I still don't quite know what he meant at the end. Yes, it's about him and Da-On being together or nothing at all but Tae-Gyeong coud've meant them ending up being nothing because he rejects Da-On when it comes to a confession. Tae-Gyeong seems to enjoy Da-On's company not in a romantic way.

Shin-Woo

Shin-Woo and Tae-Gyeong make the most progress here. First, they got closer when they were on the phone in the evening, but greeted each other very awkwardly the next day. This week, the touching becomes more and less overthought.

Tae-Gyeong is the first to touch Shin-Woo at a random, mostly out of rage, but it still counts because physical contact is always a sign no matter in which cotext. It always means some interest, if not romantically, then on a friendship-basis. But with people like Tae-Gyeong and Shin-Woo who are both socially awkward and hardly open up to others, touching is a big deal. Like I said, Tae-Gyeong doesn't touch Da-On, which adds even more meaning to him touching Shin-Woo.

Shin-Woo touching Tae-Gyeong willingly has the same amout of meaning. It means he overcomes his fear and acts on his feelings. The jealously mostly lurred him out of his shell, but the motivation doesn't count that much here. After avoiding Tae-Gyeong at first and then being awkward about it, he chooses to be more casual with Tae-Gyeong. He must have come to realize that Tae-Gyeong really doesn't understand him and since he can't just stand by watching Da-On, he stops being mad. I mean, Tae-Gyeong was pretty intimidating in the cafeteria...

"I don't hate you" totally breaks the ice and Tae-Gyeong can see him a bit clearer now. They talk like real high school kids... Nervous and awkward. Tae-Gyeong isn't like this when he's around Da-On. Da-On doesn't make him blush when he's around or let's him forget what sentences are, so he doesn't turn away to flee the scenery. I love Shin-Woo not being any better and even worse at talking to his crush. He's so overwhelmed afterwards.

Conclusion

So this week we discovered the filters all of them put on themselves because that is something humans do to appeal as a socially chameleon. Also, we learned about the importance of touches and how much they mean in real life.

An honorable mention here: I heard at the beginning, when there are scenes with Tae-Gyeong and Shin-Woo, there's light, happy music in the background whereas scenes with Tae-Gyeong and Da-On don't contain any music. But at the end when Tae-Gyeong and Da-On stand outside, there's suddenly music which I'm afraind doesn't verify my theory of Te-Gyeong rejecting Da-On later on...

A last analysis about the scene at the very end because it shows a lot about the characters:

You can see here, Da-On touches both of them but they don't touch him. This underlines how much meaning Tae-Gyeong and Shin-Woo's intentionally touching has. They let others touch them because it would be unfriendly to just deny an older person. Also, Da-On is BETWEEN Tae-Gyeong and Shin-Woo, do I have to say more? And Shin-Woo obviously looks at Tae-Gyeong who looks up to the sky like Da-On instructed, so that's of course forshadowing about the upcoming conflict. We already have this love triangle, so let it play out in the chaotic way it's gonna be.

Yeah, that's it because Tumblr doesn't allow more pictures in one post.

#light on me

[robin-the-enby]

I've been wanting to request a Marvel one for a while now, but have just finally thought of something that I agreed on—

A oneshot with the avengers and the genderless reader celebrating their first birthday. Like where they came from, birthdays don't exist, the actual celebration and having a date of being born doesn't exist for them.

I'm also only familiar with the movies so I don't know what actually happened after Endgame— So spoilers outside that would be very appreciated if that's alright—

True meaning behind birthdays

Pairing: Avengers x gn!reader (platonic)

Summary: Reader comes from a planet where birthdays don't exist. The others decide to throw the best first birthday party ever for them.

A/N: I made this story so that it doesn't contain any spoilers. I really hope you like this, I tried my best.

Y/BD - your birthdate

Earth didn't have the best reputation among the other planets. Everyone you knew always told you it's a place not worth visiting. But that didn't stop you.

And oh wrong they all were. Sure, Earth didn't have the most impressive technology, but it compensated for it with many rich and diverse cultures. So many nationalities and religions, each celebrating their own holidays and traditions. Sure, some might say that it was impractical for so many cultures to live alongside each other, but you thought it was fascinating.

You've been on Earth for over half a year now and you already knew about many human customs, yet there was still so much more to learn, since they mingled with each other constantly, for example holidays typically celebrated in the U.S. migrated all the way to middle Europe.

However, there were some events that were celebrated by everyone. Like New Years Eve, when humans celebrated their planet's complete rotation around the Sun. Silly creatures. And the biggest catch? Different people celebrated New Years on different days!

You chuckled at the memory, focusing on your previous activity. You were relaxing in the compound's living room, since there weren't any missions that regular S.H.I.E.L.D. agents couldn't handle on their own.

You were soon joined by Tony, a very extravagant and bold man, but still a very friendly colleague of yours. He scooted over until he was sitting next to you and asked "So, how did you enjoy Nat's birthday party?"

Ah, birthdays, of course. Celebrating one's day of birth every year was something all humans did as well. The concept was very foreign to you, I mean, why would anyone celebrate being one year closer to death? Still, you could not deny that you enjoyed yourself very much.

"Are you asking just because you organized the thing?" you asked back with an arched brow. Tony looked at you as if you grew a second head "Y/N! You know I'm better than that!"

"But...did you like it?" he asked after a few moments of quiet. You laughed "Yes Tony, I really enjoyed the party." You could practically see his face light up like a Christmas tree (another thing you discovered during your time here) "Awesome! Say, when can we celebrate your birthday?"

Oh... "Uhm, well, I don't really have one..." you explained. Tony's eyes widened "What do you mean? Everybody has a birthdate!" he chuckled, but his tone was mainly confused. "Well, yes, of course I have a birthdate, but where I come from, birthdays aren't really a thing. We don't celebrate them or even really acknowledge them." you shrugged.

"Well, when is your birthday?" Tony asked. You thought for a moment, before replying "Well, we don't really divide our days the same way you humans do. You would describe someone's date of birth with the day, month and year, whereas we just describe it with the position a certain set of constellations has in the sky at that moment. You'd be surprised how accurate it is." Tony blinked a few times "Yeah, that doesn't clear it up much." You laughed again.

For the next couple of minutes you tried to explain to Tony how it all worked, using "your" constellation as an example, not knowing about the plan the genius playboy had in mind all along.

After he told you he finally understood what you meant, he promptly excused himself, saying he was actually just taking a break from something he and Bruce were working on. You said your "see you later"s and parted ways.

As Tony entered the lab, Bruce, who has been working on their project when Tony had his break, looked up to see who came in, before turning back to the machine set on the working table in front of him. "Hi Tony." he muttered "Did you enjoy your break?"

Tony walked over to his friend and leaned on the table he was working on "Yea yeah. Listen, I have an interesting idea..."

It took a lot of math and research, but after a few days, the two geniuses finally had it. They managed to convert your birthdate from your people's system to theirs and it was supposed to be on Y/BD.

Which was gonna be pretty pretty damn soon.

So they did the most logical thing. They called a secret Avengers meeting to get everyone in on the plan.

"Are you sure they even want a birthday party?" Steve asked, because the last thing he would want to is to make you uncomfortable.

"Of course, you know they like to be involved in everything." Wanda reassured him with a wave of her hand. "Still, I think we shouldn't throw a big party." Steve muttered. "I agree, it's their first birthday, we wouldn't want to overwhelm them." Vision nodded. Tony sighed and slumped in his chair dramatically "Ugh, okay then. You guys are no fun, I swear..." straightening up once again, he eyed everyone seriously "Okay, here's the plan..."

And what a plan it was. Wanda and Vision were in charge of making a birthday cake, Tony and Nat were in charge of the alcohol and your favourite drink. Thor was in charge of getting your favourite snacks, Bruce and Sam were in charge of decorating and that left Steve in charge of taking you somewhere nice until the others had everything ready.

It wouldn't have been that odd for someone from the team to ask you to hang out, but you couldn't help but notice Steve's eyes darting around almost as if in fear. He must've thought he was being sneaky, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

But once you were out of the compound, you could feel Steve relax as he took you to a restaurant that quickly became your favourite after a few weeks of staying with the Avengers.

You two had so much fun, talking about anything and everything. One thing you had in common with the captain was your love for exploring. Of course, he knew much more about Earth than you, but he still missed nearly seventy years. You two would often share your favourite music or artists you discovered, as well as movies or literature.

"What do you think about birthdays Y/N?" he asked you out of the blue. It caught you off guard a little. Just a few moments ago you were discussing if Disney was a good brand or not and now this...Especially when you discussed birthdays with Tony just a few weeks ago. Strange...

"I think it's fascinating how you humans find so many things worth celebrating. I mean, birthdays are a little hard for me to understand, why would you want to celebrate getting older? I thought that humans wanted to avoid that?"

This answer seemed to throw Steve off his rhythm for a bit. "Well, it's not really about that-" he wanted to explain, but was cut off by a buzzing sound. Steve quickly reached into his pocket, taking out his phone, the culprit guilty of disrupting your conversation, checking the text message he recieved, before putting it back and looking at you again "Sorry, Fury needs me for something. Do you mind if I drop you off and then go?"

You were a little sad that your good time had to end so soon, since you both were having so much fun, but you knew it couldn't be helped, so you just shook your head and smiled.

As you made your way back, you turned to Steve again "So, what did you want to tell me, back at the restaurant?" you tilted your head to the side.

Steve almost started talking again, but before any sound could escape his mouth, it seemed like he changed his mind "Would you believe me if I told you I really don't remember?" he chuckled awkwardly. You couldn't help but squint at him. He was acting very suspiciously... "Yeah..." you answered absentmindedly. Just what was going on?

You spent the whole journey back to the compound mulling it over in your head. Was it somebody's birthday? No, surely they would've told you if that was the case. Was it your birthday? But, nobody knew when that was. So what on Earth was going on??

You decided you were gonna confront Steve if he wasn't going o explain anything by himself. So as soon as you were about to pass the compound's living room, you quickly tugged him in, telling him you needed to talk to him before he had to go.

The room was darkened, somebody must've drawn down the blinds. That didn't matter to you in that moment, you wanted answers. Steve became a silhouette in front of you, so you couldn't see his exact expression. You looked into what you imagined were his eyes, and with the most serious look you could muster you said "Alright Steve, quit joking around. What is happening?"

But before your interrogation could progress, the blinds were drawn up and the room was suddenly bathed in light as people yelled "Happy birthday!!!"

You whirled around and saw everyone gathered in the living room, standing around the coffee table, upon which were various snacks that you grew to love during your stay here, complete with your favourite drink, and in the middle of it all sat a beautiful cake. The room was decorated with ornaments in your favourite colours and everyone had a big smile plastered in their face.

Well, you certainly did not expect that. After carefully looking around at everything, you couldn't help but laugh "So it's my birthday??" you asked, surprised.

"Wait, what did cap told you?" Tony asked, alarmed. "Well, nothing specific, but he wasn't subtle either." you smiled and looked at the now blushing Steve from the corner of your eye.

The rest of the day was great, possibly the best one you've had here. Good food, drinks and laughter all around. It warmed your heart to receive so many beautiful gifts, words couldn't express just how grateful you were. One thing still nagged in your brain though...

All of you were seated on the various sofas and armchairs around the coffee table, calmly chatting about beloved memories, exchanging funny stories and everything was heavenly peacful.

"I still can't wrap my head around why you would go throuh all the trouble for me." you shook your head, the disbelief still lingering in your mind.

"Well, that's simple. We like having you around." Tony shrugged. The others nodded. "Yeah, we appreciate having you with us. You're a great friend." Wanda added. "Celebrating birthdays is like showing gratefulness that the celebrated person is still with you." Bruce explained.

Their confessions were so heartwarming, you couldn't help but to shed a few tears. Sam, who was sitting next to you, put his arm around your shoulders, rubbing your arm comfortingly. So that's what birthdays were really about...

It was great to have friends.

#marvel #mcu #oneshot #fluff #requests open #avengers #avenger x reader #avengers x y/n #reader insert #platonic x reader

[maxwell-grant]

Downfall of a Dark Avenger Part 2: Shadows of Manhattan

Having finished reading Al Ewing’s El Sombra trilogy and having had enough time to digest it, I’d like to talk about the trajectory of it’s titular protagonist, the character and series’s relationship with it’s influences. Relating to The Shadow and Zorro and general pulp archetypes, and also the way it incorporates Astro Boy’s Pluto into the mix.

This part is focused on Gods of Manhattan and El Sombra’s first appearences in Pax Omega and the ways in which the urban vigilante manifests itself in the books. 

In Gods of Manhattan, El Sombra takes a backseat to it’s central players, Doc Thunder and The Blood-Spider. I’ve mentioned how Thunder, while ostensibly a Doc Savage/Superman amalgam, also combines aspects that allow the character to condense the entire history of the superman into a single being, but to a character very much centered on the future and in progressive ideals, described in the book as someone considered both the city’s ultimate savior as well as viewed as "a faggot, a liberal and a miscegenationist”. In that regard, the Blood-Spider becomes his opposite. Perhaps the most comprehensive savaging of the dark detective/The Shadow ever put on paper, that has a larger point behind the questions and criticisms it brings up to what this kind of figure can be. 

"You can hardly have a war on crime unless you are the one defining what a crime is. First rule of the war on crime: everyone is guilty or something"

Us am vigilantes! Am us not men? Us use violence to effect social change! Am us not men? Us bring terror to underclass, make streets safer for overclass! Am us not men? Am us not men?

Making them loved rather than feared. Having them fight crime, or the right kind of crime, at least. Created a persona designed to appeal to the worst in people, to bring the citizens of New York around to his cause, his war on crime, which would, of course, then become a war against ‘urban crime’. Or some other little euphemism. ‘Inhuman’, for example. Sounds a lot more relatable than subhuman, doesn’t it? Comes to the same thing, though.

Although The Blood-Spider is an evil take on The Shadow, most of his character traits are taken from characters that followed him. He’s got the moniker, savagery, fright tactics and branded murders of The Spider, he climbs buildings and has a civilian identity akin to Spider-Man’s, with constant name references to characters like Stacey, Jonah and a redhead named Mary Watson, with him sharing a name with Peter Parker as well as Batman villain Jonathan Crane, he’s got Rorschach monologues that are echoed by his associates past his demise in white supremacist organizations dedicated to carrying off Spider’s legacy, predating HBO Watchmen’s take on Rorschach legacy. If Doc Thunder is all about taking the superhero’s past to create a better future with it, Blood-Spider takes the future of the urban vigilante and uses it as a conduit to enact a barbaric and reactionary agenda in service of undoing everything Thunder stands for, even before he’s revealed to be a Nazi agent. 

Blood-Spider is what happens when the absolute worst aspects of said characters are brought to the forefront and twisted by a dose of reality. He’s to The Shadow what Plutonian is to Superman, the most sour way said character and legend can be twisted into something horrendous. He’s the Doutrinador in a fedora, everything I vehemently argue that The Shadow wasn’t, and yet seems sadly ever closer to as more and more comics dehumanize the character. He’s Howard Chaykin’s Shadow, naked and raw and exposed for what it ultimately is. An insult and a wake-up call, if a necessary one.

In fact, said poisoning of a legend is explicitly a plot point in the book, because the book establishes that, before The Blood-Spider, the city’s main vigilante used to be a man by the name of Blue Ghost, friend of Doc Thunder and, although a mysterious public figure, still firmly on the side of good. Unfortunately, moral victories aside, “good” alone doesn’t cut it in the world of El Sombra. 

You took a look at the Blue Ghost - mysterious masked avenger, operatives all over the place, big fan-following with the working classes, and you figured...we need one of those. Just take away the Japanese orphan kid and replace him with a foxy Aryan chick.

Blue Ghost is almost a textbook Spirit analogue, even defined as being beat up a lot as his main asset, except here, he’s placed as Doc’s counterpart that died before the story began and is now replaced by a darker and more horrendous counterpart, and because The Spirit was influenced by The Shadow, it opens a roundabout connection. You can read this as a comparison between the shift from Adam West’s Batman to Frank Miller’s Batman, or a comparison between The Shadow and earlier more straightforward pulp vigilantes like Jimmie Dale, or a comparison between the pulp/radio Shadow and later iterations of him or analogues to his archetype that upped the nastier aspects. Again, nothing in El Sombra is ever quite just one thing. 

And at last we come to El Sombra, who spends much of the book caught in between the duels of Doc, Untergang and players in between. And it’s interesting that here, while El Sombra’s final victories over the story’s major conflict lie in his willingness to team up with Doc, despite knowing of his origins as a Nazi weapon, his victories over Blood-Spider instead come from turning tricks of The Shadow against him. First, when he discovers Spider’s true nature, spying on him by pulling a Fritz the Janitor. And then in the finale, when he schools Spider on what a real shadowy avenger looks like. 

"Amigo...that's my sword"

The voice came from the darkness above them, where the gaslight did not reach. The Spider's blood ran cold for a long moment, and then he grabbed hold of his other gun, tearing it from its holster and raising it to fire a volley of bullets into the darkness. "Where are you? Show yourself!" he hissed, turning in place, the gun raised to fire at the slightest sound or movement.

"You're not the only one who can hide in the shadows, my friend. I've got very good at it, over the years."

"Show yourself!" Another volley of shots, with no result. Was he throwing his voice? Was he everywhere at once? Was he a shadow himself? A ghost?

The voice echoed from another place now, continuing his speech exactly where he had left off. And still that mocking voice echoed from the shadows above.

"See, I didn't know if you were a good guy or a bad guy. I mean, sure, you killed people, and you were kind of a dick about it, you know? But I didn't know if you were one of the bastards. I didn't know if you needed to die or not, amigo."

The gun clicked empty. He was out of bullets. He turned again, and there was the man in the red mask. Just standing there, in the middle of the concourse. His smile didn't look human. And his eyes. Oh, his terrible eyes...

"Stay back." The Spider whispered, and his voice sounded in his ears like a frightened, animal thing, waiting to curl up and die in its hole.

The man in the red mask only laughed. A rich, deep, joyous laugh, a laugh that echoed and filled the whole station, bouncing from pillar to pillar, careening through the great vaulted arches. Such a laugh!

Then the laughter stopped, and he fixed the Blood-Spider with a look that would freeze the fires of Hell.

And suddenly - quite suddenly - there was no Blood-Spider. There was only Parker Crane, the Nazi. Parker Crane, the traitor. Who thought he could destroy America, and only managed to destroy himself. Parker Crane. Just a man wearing a mask. He ran, and left the sword behind him.

"Nice trick," Doc murmured, turning to the masked man. "Throwing your sword from up on the balcony - good aim, by the way - then throwing your voice and a little mental suggestion to make him think you were up in the arches where he'd been. Where did you learn that?"

The masked man shrugged, lifting up his weapon. "In the desert. You can learn a lot in the desert, if you put your mind to it."

By the story’s end, once Lars Lomax, Thunder’s arch-enemy and Lex Luthor, takes center stage as it’s ultimate threat, Parker Crane is left a traumatized, broken shell unable to even move, utterly stripped of any mystique or power that his mask and guns may have brought him. And in the end, El Sombra finds him, neutralized and no longer a threat to anyone. And he makes his choice.

El Sombra knew what it was to hate, to hate so hard and so long that you knew nothing else, to hate so strongly that it crossed that line into something beyond reason.

He lifted his sword, resting the blade in his palm for a moment, considering. Crane only stared, weeping and making his soft, mad noises. El Sombra sighed, shaking his head. "You know, I don't know if I can kill a guy who's already dead. Even if he is one of the bastards."

"Don't let him in here." Murmured Crane, his eyes wide.

"Shhh, I won't let him in," smiled El Sombra in response, trying to be reassuring. "You'll never have to face him again. I promise. It's okay, amigo. It's okay."

It was strange. He knew he should feel hate for Parker Crane. It was Djego's job to bear things like pity and doubt, to feel sorrow and shame. That was Djego's role in their team of one. El Sombra was there to take never-ending revenge and to laugh and to never look back. But to know that his murder of Heinrich Donner - his righteous kill - had resulted in so much harm coming to so many... and now to see the leader of Undergang, the man he'd come to New York to kill, just an empty, broken madman, a shell of a person... El Sombra wondered if he was changing.

"Don't," whispered Crane, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Don't let him back in."

El Sombra smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, amigo. I'm going to go and make sure nobody ever needs to see him again. And I couldn't have done it without you." He squeezed lightly. "You didn't mean to, but you did some good. Remember that."

Then, gently, he pushed the tip of the sword through the front of Crane's skull and into his brain.

He was not incapable of pity. But he was who he was, and he did what he did.

And broken or not, the bastards had to die.

We’ve seen El Sombra struggle and be faced with choices, choices between Djego and El Sombra, choices between kindness and violence, between peace and conflict. We’ve seen the conflict in his soul between things that he knows are right, because Djego is a good man with a good soul who wants good things for himself and others, and things he knows he must do, because he is El Sombra and El Sombra was created to kill the bastards that brought his world to ruin and therefore it’s what he must always do. And in the end, El Sombra is simply stronger. He has to be. But strength and violence and hatred can only get one so far. 

Gods of Manhattan is the trilogy’s moral compass, the book that most clearly defines the morality the series operates on. And in between the spectrums of justice embodied by Doc and Crane’s approach, between the two urban avengers in The Blue Ghost and Blood-Spider, El Sombra made his choice. And it’s the first choice that dooms him.

Enter Pax Omega, and we learn that, 4 years since the previous book's events, El Sombra joined a squad of agents called Yankee Bravo Seven, who work for an organization named STEAM, who enact missions against Nazis to turn the tides of war. He is joined by several other types of characters, including The Blood Widow, Crane’s former assistant Marlene Lang now having taken up the moniker (just as Nita van Sloan did for The Spider, even with the “Widow” prefix). We see that El Sombra has joined a team of bantering heroes and even formed a friendly rivalry with a man named Savate, modeled after Batroc the Leaper. 

But we see that the hunger for vengeance still burns, still burns beyond reason, restless because it’s been 4 years and the war still isn’t over and Hitler still isn’t dead by his sword. And it’s that restlessness that again dooms him, when he once again makes the wrong choice and betrays leader Jack Scorpio, Scorpio who had personally brought him on board and gave him the best shot he ever had at getting to Hitler. 

El Sombra frowned. "We need to make our move now."

Scorpio shook his head. "Not yet."

"What?" El Sombra looked incredulous.

"Wait for my signal, I said! Damn it, I need you to trust me!" Jack Scorpio reached up to brush the back of his finger across his forehead, and realised he was sweating. 

Through his special glasses, El Sombra's aura was glowing an angry, pulsing red, like a throbbing vein. "Just...trust me. I'm asking you to hold back for just five minutes. There's more going on here than you know."

El Sombra just stared at him, his lips pulling back from his teeth in a cold snarl.

"Trust me. That's all I ask." Jack Scorpio looked into the blazing eyes behind the bloodstained mask, and spoke softly, soothingly, almost desperately. "Can you just hold back for one minute?"

The eyes behind the mask narrowed.

"Can you?"

PERSONNEL FILE: DJEGO "EL SOMBRA". TO EYES ONLY: THIS INDIVIDUAL IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS. IT IS STRONGLY RECOMMENDED HE NOT BE INCLUDED IN ANY OPERATIONS CLASSIFIED ABOVE TOP SECRET OR HIGHER. (I'll take the risk - J.S)

El Sombra spat in Scorpio's face.

"Chinga tu madre."

Then he drew his sword and leaped down into the fray.

After the mission is over, with the base destroyed and a major victory secured, although with Jack Scorpio having been killed, the team disbands. El Sombra continues to wander the forests near the Luftwaffe base for about two weeks, killing as many Nazis as he can, until an explosion blast hits near him, knocking away his mask and portions of his leg and arm, and rendering him unconscious for 8 months. By the time he wakes up, the war has ended, and so has El Sombra for the past 7 years.

Djego was afforded the best of medical care at the hospital in Venice. El Sombra was nowhere to be found.

His mask had been torn off in the explosion, along with some of the meat of his leg and arm. He walked stiffly, now, with a pronounced limp, and his left arm was all but useless, hanging limply at his side. The Wildcat crew had salvaged his sword, but Djego had little interest in using it.

Gradually, he regained his mobility. The back of his head itched constantly, and he suffered from horrendous mood swings, when he would rage against the Fuhrer and the bastards, or weep helplessly, like a child. But gradually, he found his personality stabilising in the gentle, antiseptic atmosphere of the hospital. He found that Djego - so long despised as a weakling, a coward and a fool - was capable of a kind of gentle, melancholic wit that made him popular.

Djego healed and grew, and the itch in the back of his skull began to subside, as El Sombra relinquished his grip.

Djego felt his heart seize in his chest. The cloth was missing a scrap at the end, and there was mud ground into the fabric along with the old bloodstains; but it had two evenly-spaced holes in it, and was unmistakably a mask. It seemed to be looking at him.

He takes up gardening and establishes himself in the city of Brandenberg, he becomes a fixture of the city and a friend of it, he enters a relationship, and El Sombra never appears again.

Until a mysterious stranger named Leonard Lorraine, walks through his door one day, saying he’s got a mission to fulfill, and hands him his mask. And, once again, El Sombra is simply stronger, and he makes the wrong choice again. 

Djego shook his head and tried to step back from it, but his legs wouldn't move.

"No," he whispered. "No. Please"

"I was happy," pleaded Djego. "Doesn't that matter to you?" He picked up the cloth in trembling fingers, looking into the empty eyeholds. "Doesn't that mean anything?"

There was no answer. The patrons of the bierkeller did not even notice anything was happening.

"I was happy," Djego choked, and then, in one spasmodic motion, he pulled the mask onto his face, and secured it tightly, so that the knot once again rested in the back of his head, where it belonged: so tightly that it might never come off again.

El Sombra looked at his hands.

He prodded his belly, amused at the rounded shape of it, and took a couple of steps back from the bar. The limp was gone.

He laughed, very softly, so as not to disturb the patrons.

Djego and Lorraine walk through the desolate streets of Berlin, which in the years since has completely sealed itself from the outside world through an impossibly thick dome, and Djego discovers the city completely bereft of life, with only a few lobotomized robotic citizens aimlessly wandering and chewing on the mountains of corpses in the city, as their Nazi ideology reached it’s inevitable outcome of total annihilation of any and all that the party could find an excuse to slaughter in the name of purity, which eventually included it’s few remaining members. In this world, Hitler has been a brain inside a robotic contraption ever since 1945, and it’s amidst this scenario that El Sombra, while thinking about how his final confrontation with Hitler would play out, eventually finds what’s left of Hitler. 

All around them, there were the sounds of machinery, but the Mecha-Fuhrer was completely silent, utterly motionless. In the centre of its chest rested a tank of toxic green fluid, and on the surface of the fluid, a human brain floated, like the corpse of a goldfish.

It was quite dead.

El Sombra stared at the Fuhrer for a long moment. Eventually, he spoke, and his voice was cracked and raw, and choked with rage. "Is...is this a joke?"

De Lareine smiled his terrible smile. "The Fuhrer's body needed a great deal of maintenance and repair, you know. After two years, one of the processes delivering oxygen to his brain failed...and there was nobody left to repair it. He died, slowly." There would have been some pain, at the end".

El Sombra slammed his fist into the great iron throne on which the massive body sat, shattering his knuckles and tearing the skin from them. He didn't seem to notice. "Some pain," he choked, through gritted teeth."

El Sombra was still staring into the empty, dead eyes of the Fuhrer.

El Sombra again chooses poorly. It’s this moment, above all else, that truly damns him to his fate, as we come to see what is it exactly that a persona created for the purpose of vengeance has, when said vengeance is robbed from it. Like Parker Crane, his persona crumbles completely to expose the petty, ugly little feelings that drove it to such grandstanding antics in the first place, and the allmighty El Sombra is exposed for the all-too human failings that damned him once and for all.

"This isn't right," he said, eventually, in a strangled voice. "How...how can it end like this?"

"Why shouldn't it?" De Lareine shrugged. "Here's a thought. Maybe, despite his twenty-year tantrum and all his dressing up, spoilt little Djego is not the centre of the universe -"

El Sombra turned, face red, tears streaming from his eyes, and charged at De Lareine, slashing his sword. El Sombra crashed down onto the floor, into the soot scattered about, as De Lareine walked around him.

"Did you really believe Adolf Hitler would wait around for your sword? Did you not imagine that it might be better for him to seal himself off in a hole to die, instead of murdering and enslaving continents until you finally got around to him? Did you think you were the hero of your own little story, El Sombra, with your mask and your laugh and your-"

"Shut up!" El Sombra cried out, scrambling to his feet, the sword shaking in his hand, tears and snot running down his face. "He was mine! He was mine to kill!" He lifted the sword, the tip trembling. "Bring him back," he screamed, "do you hear me? Bring him back to life!"

De Lareine had to laugh at that.

And in the end, El Sombra is crushed, spiritually and physically as his spine is shattered by Lareine, who begins to experiment on him as he lays dying, ready to fulfill fate’s greater purpose for El Sombra. Ready to become not just the perfect machine Pasito’s conquerors intended, but a superior design. Ready to abandon his former life, ready to abandon everything that defined him, ready to shed any and all traces of Zorro and Shadow and pulp hero in his system, because the age of pulp heroes and superheroes has passed. 

The metal man emerged from his hole, dragging the corpse of the Fuhrer behind him.

The brain in the metal man's chest would, perhaps, live for thousands of years. He wondered how he would spend the time.

He remembered little of his former life; he had been a man named El Sombra, or perhaps Djego. He had been stupid - he realised that now - but that was something he would never be again.

Apart from that, there was only a succession of faces, the memory of laughter and of a final, awful betrayal that had destroyed him. But there was also the sense that a great and terrible mission had ended at last, and it was time for a new life to begin.

The metal man took a last look back at the great dome of Fortress Berlin. Somewhere in there, the Leopard Man was hunting, freed from his own mission. And in the Fuhrer's old office, the empty, lifeless clay of El Sombra - or was it Djego? - lay, discarded, like a butterfly's cocoon.

The metal man thought on this, as the Fuhrer rusted at his feet and the tanks began to approach from over the hills ahead.

He would need a new name.

It’s now the age of Pluto.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #al ewing #el sombra #pluto