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gunsli-01 · 1 year

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just wanna say since I've been away from fixating on milgram for a month or so and came back for a skim (I got my therapist hooked, so its on the mind).. I wanna say how the fuck did this happen but I've similar enough that like, I hope you're taking care of yourself, congrats on the marriage (thats recent right?), your posts are always nice to see, I hope Organ Thief's Dance Party is entertaining for you too

I got so carried away beneath this cut that it's just a new Mu post I'm sorry in advance! Before any of that though I'll try to answer your points to the best of my abilities!

I'm so happy to hear about the therapist thing! I hope more people can enjoy Milgram so many that getting to a million views is pretty much immediate during trial three!

I think conflicts appearing in the fandom in and of itself isn't a bad thing it just means people care about the material, but I hope people can do that in a fun and respectful way. Not only to make the environment comfortable for old fans but newcomers as well. I don't believe it's good for fandoms to become exclusionary or too closeknit since that can lead to terrible forms of conflict down the line.

A fandom should be full of various people and opinions. So, I always wanna remind people to look at the views of others outside of mine since it helps form a more well-rounded opinion. It's even helped me better reflect on my own biases. I do like passion, but too much of anything in one direction can be bad, and I want more and more people to like and watch Milgram! So, regardless of what happens, I want people to see the fun in it not just from the content but its fans who do great things in a passionate way every day.

I'm taking care of myself and my dad to the best of my abilities he surgery went smoothly too! I'm still very much enjoying Milgram all the way! I hope none of what I said about the fandom comes off as pretentious or too serious because I know it'd be easy to read it that way. When it comes to the marriage, I assume you're referring to my blog description.

Ah, Star and I have known each other since late 2013! We met through Tumblr actually. That's why I was so upset to have my blog shadow banned because it has a lot of sentimental value and I'd hate to lose it. We started dating maybe three years after and we got engaged two to three years after that. Though, since we live in different countries, we haven't officially tied the knot yet. She's my best friend, confidant, and we hang out often. Even meeting up in person whenever we can manage/afford to.

Actually, she's the reason anybody even gets to see me talk about Milgram at all right now. She introduced it to me! She wanted me to look over the entire series. Because she was very well acquainted with my penchant for deductive reasoning and love of solving mysteries. Because of thar she wanted to know what I would think was going on based off the trial one music videos alone. I was a bit miffed at her at the time, so I was like, no, I don't wanna.

Though she went if I didn't want to watch all of it then she'd at least like it if I looked at Mahiru's song. Causing my response to Mahiru's first trial song to pretty much be you trying to say something about me, huh?! However, I really loved it and pretty immediately went okay I'll watch the rest. However, that was only after she asked what I thought happened and the only thing I could think was with the focus on food, probably poisoning, but other than that I'm unsure.

So, I'm very nostalgic when it comes to Mahiru's song since it's related to a person I love.

If you don't want all the personal stuff here's the Milgram stuff!

I think the thing I'm looking most forward too is hearing Shidou's cover of Delusion Tax given how the VA handled Liar Dance! Shidou's voice tends to be more reserved when it comes to singing his original songs but go hard in his covers. Mu is the exact opposite, her voice being stronger in her original songs but going to a gentle whisper in her covers.

Showing the dichotomy between how she presents herself and how she may be inwardly. That outward appearance of dominance breaking into a soft-spoken stint. While Shidou's soft demeanor breaks way into a more domineering tone with hard enunciation that's so good to hear. So, I'm really curious if that will stay in Delusion Tax just like it stayed for Mu with MKDR.

I like Mu's covers far more than her original songs because of that vocal change and the subtle gentleness like holding porcelain. Especially the scream here and how it directly contrasts with the one here. Her covers really highlight that similarity between her and Futa of putting on a tough front but having an incredibly soft interior that needs a lot of nurturing from their environments.

Something also highlighted by her being represented as Parasitic Wasp in It's Not My Fault.

One of the insects that build cocoons on a host and use the nutrients off them to feed their young. Meaning It's Not My Fault we are literally seeing an artistic rendition of a Parasitic Wasp nest being built on a beehive.

Explaining why Mu is so large in comparison to the others. It's a literal hostile takeover until she gets enough of what she needs and leaves.

This also explains why she's so quick to leave and nothing remains when she does in the end. Since they eat everything and go. Yet, it has another meaning too! Mu being a parasitic wasp can be read as her leeching off of a society of course but it can also be read as her needing external validation to support her own beliefs. Showcasing that she lacks the mental fortitude necessary to defend or rationalize her own behavior or past actions.

This is highlighted in After pain when she's literally drowned in her own negative opinion of herself. Something that used to be feeding her is now eating away at her. Because it doesn't come with that sweetness of external validation. No one else is saying that she's right so she'll always wonder if she's wrong on some level. Because she's incapable of validating her own behavior this is even shown in It's Not My Fault when she basically begs the viewers not to hate her or even look for her bad side the source of her pain.

In a, "Just keep liking me, keep feeding me, I can't do it I can't take it on my own." In a way, reminiscent to the way Mikoto freaks out when everybody, but Kotoko wishes him a happy birthday. It also feeds into why her victim ignoring her bothered her so much and she couldn't let it go. The reason she's behaving this way is perfectly illustrated at the end of It's Not My Fault where she's literally reformed by the previous verdict and breaks away from her host, in this case the hourglass.

Something that very much comes through in the tone of her cover songs. While Shidou- Ah, his are so full of that usually restrained animosity of his that I just love! So, that mixed with Delusion Tax may just get me.

#milgram #kirisaki shidou #kusunoki muu

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linawritestwst · 1 year

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hello, lina! congrats on 1k, i'd like a matchup if there are still some slots open? ^_^ i use she/her pronouns, my MBTI is INFJ, and my zodiac sign is Libra!

personality: i've been told i'm a nurturing and perceptive person who can notice the emotions of and encourage the people around me. i have good social skills and can lead when needed but i prefer to be a follower since i'm actually little reserved myself. i also prefer to show my candid self to a select few who i really trust. i laugh at silly things really easily but i usually stifle my laughter. i am also a bit physically affectionate!

interests: poetry/literature, history, intellectual and philosophical topics, documentaries, nature and anything related to tea and herbs.

hobbies: reading books, writing poems, stargazing, taking walks during nighttime.

what i'm looking for a partner: someone who can indulge me on my interests (they don't have to necessarily share them. if they're willing to indulge me even if they don't know what it's about, that is more than enough!), who can tell me to step back when i get too distracted taking care of others, who wouldn't mind that i can be a bit childish and silly at heart, someone who can be honest with me and keep me grounded.

what i'm not looking for in a partner: someone who is brutally inconsiderate, who is impulsive and follows their emotions too much (i value emotions myself but not to the point of carelessness/recklessness without logic), who is self-absorbed, or anyone who is dishonest and don't put the least bit of efforts.

i don't have a preference for specific years or dorms! i really, really want to know who i might be compatible with in your eyes and also, don't forget to take a break when you need it! thank you so much and congrats, lina. your works are always the best <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE TOO SWEET.. i'm so sorry for being so late, but i hope you like this matchup anyway!

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

riddle rosehearts!

i'll explain why i chose him:

i think your dynamic would be so cute! riddle could definitely use a s/o who's good at noticing other people's emotions and how their mood changes, haha. also i think that him being more of a leader because, you know, he's literally a dorm leader and he's based on queen of hearts, and you being more of a follower is a very interesting and fun concept! it's like he can be the one who's good at leading people and you can be there to follow him, but also gently guide him and give him advice in case he does something wrong.

it's hard for riddle to admit it, but he actually would love to hear you laugh more often. you can really notice him showing favoritism when he hears ace or cater laughing at something dumb and tells them to stop, but then he sees you trying really hard not to laugh at the same joke and for some reason.. he doesn't say anything and pretends not to see it. also he's not used to physical affection and he has no idea what to do when he receives it, but.. to be honest, he actually kinda likes it. please pretend you didn't hear that from him.

riddle may be a bit very impulsive sometimes, considering his temper, but he started to work on that after his overblot and also he just feels more calm whenever you're around. and even though it can be very hard for him to control his emotions, he still tries his best and trust him, he would never hurt you. he wants to help you as much as you help him, so if he notices you spending too much time taking care of others while forgetting about your own needs, he will remind you that you're just as important as those other people, so you should remember to take care of yourself too. also, you two share quite a lot of interests, so i'm sure you two would have lots of fun together!

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst x reader #twisted wonderland matchups #twst matchup

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in-my-feels-probably · 1 year

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!congrats on 600! 🎉👏

Could I ask for option 2 romantic ship with one of the marauders boys (sirius, remus, james or peter)?

I'm female, short, dark hair sadly not naturally dark just dyed, blue eyes. I don't know if I count as ace, I don't want to put labels on myself, but yeah physical intimacy in that way is a no go for me. Introverted.

I like vintage furniture, trinkets and clothes. Someday I hope to have my own place fully decorated and furnished with vintage items. Maybe like each room done in a different decade.

Things I like to do:

go for walks and visit my favorite cafe alone. Watch judy garland movies. Or frank sinatra movies. I maybe have a miniscule crush on Mr Sinatra lol. Listening to music, all kinds of music from the good old stuff like frankie laine, otis reding, doris day to modern stuff like YouTube musicians violet orlandi, halocene, postmodern jukebox (Hailey reinharts cover of seven nation army!) Reading. Sewing. Making up fictional scenarios in my head 🤣

I believe in the turn the other cheek motto, it is ridiculously hard to make me hold a grudge against you, I pretty much don't ever. I can hold plenty against myself though lol

I'm sentimental, I had all my birthday cards and occassion cards from a bunch of different people since I was a baby but then I got annoyed at myself for holding onto too much junk 🙃 threw it all away and wish I didn't. I have a little jewelry box (it's literally 100 years old which I think is so cool) it's full of gift tags of presents I've got over the years where the sender wrote a little note on the tag- they're all mostly from my aunty that I don't see often

hi! thank you for participating :)

i ship you with sirius!

i think he’d be immediately attracted to you, and find you and your hobbies adorable. i think sirius loathes most of his upbringing in a pureblood household, and he’d hate most things that remind him of it, but he’d also have such great taste in old things. and he’d love to have a home of his own with you, and he’d help you decorate it in a way you both liked. he’d make a new home with you, one that didn’t remind him of his childhood. and he couldn’t deny, he does have good taste. he’d probably steal a bunch of shit from home that he did actually like, or already have inherited some heirlooms you could share. he’d appreciate that you have a love for old things, i think that’s a part of his old life that he couldn’t let go. but until you, he didn’t really have a chance to visit it. i think he’d give you gifts too, knowing you’d love them. he’d attach new and special meanings to his things, now that they remind him of you. and he’d love how sentimental you are. i think he’d be pretty sentimental too. he values the few people he has in life that he loves, and so he’d understand why you keep things from them. he doesn’t get to see any of his family, so he’d make new family, and would probably keep things that remind him of all of you. he wouldn’t think anything you keep is junk, even if it’s something as simple as a concert ticket or an old card. what you chose to keep and throw away is fine by him.

i think he’d like the fact you’re introverted. he’s a pretty outgoing guy, but i think he’d also have times when he wants to be alone, and he’d know he could come and be with you. i know that some people consider sirius to have a reputation of dating/sleeping with a lot of people, and im sure he’s got plenty of experience, but i think he’d really value that you don’t put physical intimacy in a sexual way at the front of your relationship. he really wouldn’t mind not being intimate that way with you. despite what some people might think, it’s really not that important to him. i think he’s probably used to girls who want that, and it’s fine for girls who do, but i think he’d get a little sick of being known for that. honestly, he’s probably been used for that, and fronts like it’s ok, but internally he feels really bad about it. he’d love that with you, touches could be innocent. he’s probably not be used to little touches, and would crave them, especially from people who he loves.

after a hard day, he wouldn’t want to go to the common room and sit with everyone. he’d just want to go to bed, and have some time to himself. he’d remember you, and know that you were probably not in the common room, and he’d think of all the places you liked to hang out. he’d find you somewhere quiet, immediately relaxing when he saw you.

you’d smile, immediately holding your hand out for him to take. “hi, love. are you alright?”

he’d sit down, leaning into you. “long day.”

you’d frown, tucking his hair out of his face and intertwining your fingers. he’d smile to himself, rubbing his thumb along the back of your hand.

“do you want to talk about it?”

sirius would feel his heart warm, knowing you really meant it. he couldn’t say no, nodding. you’d hold his hand, listening to everything he had to say. he’d ask you about your day after, sitting with you the rest of your night.

#harry potter #marauders #marauders imagine #sirius black x reader #harry potter imagines #sirius black #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #ships #600 followers celebration #600 followers #followers celebration

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morimakesfanart · 3 years

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Sindria's Prophet #16

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15]

[AO3]

~POV Sinbad~ Mori wasn't just a Prophet, she had immense knowledge of her own that was going to make Sindria untouchable. Sinbad was going to achieve his dream much sooner than he had ever imagined. Mori was special; intelligent, clever, capable, and she could read the waves of Fate. Was there any other woman as attractive? The unknown craving that had plagued him for the past week was placated. Delicious wine, beautiful women, delicious food -none of his normal pleasures had fulfilled whatever that feeling was, but for some reason this moment with the his Beautiful Prophet was. "And now you're *my* kind and generous King Sinbad, ... Right?" Mori's bashful confidence was always endearing, but hearing her call him 'my King' in person made something snap in him. They were in a corner and Mori is small; he could easily block view of her in case any of the magicians turned around. He wouldn't even have to lean that far to get a taste of her. "DO EITHER OF YOU Have an ounce of self awareness??” Ja'far popped the bubble that had formed around the two.

King Sinbad froze. Everyone in the room was watching them. Sinbad stood up straight. He shouldn't exactly continue his plans with an audience. He removed his hand from the window and crossed his arms. Yam was practically shaking the magician next to her. "I wasn't the only one to see it this time!” An older magician with a beard laughed and said something like 'to be young.' Another said something a long the lines of "So it's like that then." Ja'far was still grumbling about his King's behavior -he should know better by now, he promised he wouldn't, etc. but 1. Sinbad didn't do anything wrong, and 2. he said he knew what he was doing -he knew how to handle flirting with Mori; he never said anything about not flirting with her. "And you, Lady Prophet," Ja'far changed targets. 'Oh?' Sinbad didn't expect Mori to be reprimanded for his flirting -although, she did flirt back. Ja'far continued, "You said that you knew about Sin's habits so wouldn't fall for him or-" "AAAAAH" Yamuraiha yelled over the other General as she crossed the room as fast as she could, and clapped a hand over his mouth. She turned to the King and Prophet with wide eyes and a forced smile. "Your Majesty! Mori! Would you like to see the spell again with our new changes?!" She didn't let go of Ja'far. The group of magicians started supporting her suggestion with "Let us show you," "I'm sure we've got it this time," and reciting the changes to the formula. They were clearly trying to stop Ja'far from discouraging Mori. Sinbad had no idea why they suddenly decided to become his wingmen, but it was convenient for him since he planed to do more than flirt with her later. Mori walked up to the Generals, although she only addressed Yamuriaha. "Yes, please! Even if it's not perfect I'd like to see your progress!" She spoke with the same forced enthusiasm as Yam. Sinbad only got a glimpse before Mori's back was to him, but her face was definitely a brighter red than it had been a moment ago. She was getting better at flirting with him, but she couldn't hold her composure for long. The King laughed as the head magician practically body checked Ja'far out of her way and left him out of the group before they preformed the newly revised spell. This time it produced a mostly clear stone. It wasn't a high quality diamond, but they had done it. They would have to be careful with this though since it could lower the market value of whatever they make. As they figured out the specifics for every substance they needed, Sindria could become fully self sufficient -they would still deal in trade so as to not completely leave the rest of the world behind. It was amazing. His magicians were amazing for being able to figure this out in such a short time, and his Prophet was just as -if not even more- amazing for knowing all of this and being able to explain it to them. When the excitement around the magic spell died down they finally showed him the microscope. It was a prototype so they had to be gentle with it. Two pieces of glass with water squished between them were slid under and when Sinbad looked through the lenses he saw the strange small creatures that Mori had written about. Seeing them forced him to accept that what Mori wrote about 'germs' had to be true too -and those were even smaller than these things. Looking at those things squirming around and knowing they were everywhere made his skin crawl. The King stopped looking through the device. "They really are real." "Yup." Mori responded plainly. "And now that you all know and have proof. There's going to have to be a lot of changes. The way illnesses are handled is obvious, but there's going to have to be a lot more changes to how food and housing and things are handle to better maintain sanitary environments. I know a bunch of sanitation procedures so I can help there too." Ja'far was rubbing his temples. "This is going to be a logistical nightmare. Do you realize that we are going to have to fix all those things and get all Sindrians to understand without having it affect our production or

trade??" "It's not like we're doing this alone." Mori tried to comfort him. "We'll figure something out." The conversation moved to this new problem. His Beautiful Prophet really was something else. She had solutions to problems they didn't even know they had. Mori had a habit of using her hands whenever she talked -even more when she was excited. She was cute and deserved to know, but she was in the middle of helping his people so he would hold his tongue and just watch her. If Sinbad was honest, he had stopped listening to the conversation a while ago and was just looking for an opportunity to finally ask Mori -and Yam of course- if they would join him for dinner so he could get all of his Generals more aquatinted with her. Someone mentioned a specific scroll in one of the libraries. Before the whole group could drag Mori out of the room, King Sinbad raised a hand and got everyone's attention. "I know there's a lot to do, but I have some things to discuss with my Beautiful Prophet as well." Mori looked back at him. "What is it?” It seemed that nickname wasn't as affective as before -hopefully it was just the timing. "Is it something we can talk about here?” "I was thinking we could talk over dinner," Sinbad paused to see how she would respond to the implications. Mori's eyes widened and her shoulders tensed, and best of all that blush came back. "With all of my Generals, of course." Mori blushed harder realizing he was messing with her. Yam looked disappointed at first -his Generals cared way to much about him finding a wife- but then she looked content with being a part of the plan. "You might have met them, and know them from reading Fate but they still don't know you yet." He finished. Yam spoke first. "This is a great idea. Pisti was just telling me that she wanted to get to know Mori." Mori regained her composer. "I'd like to get to know everyone personally too, so I'm find with this." It was a roundabout way of saying 'yes.' Her blush was gone but she was still embarrassed. With that settled, Ja'far let Yam and Mori know when dinner would be ready. It was a little earlier than he normally ate but this would give them more time to mingle before they'd be completely out of sunlight. "Well then," the King turned to his Prophet, "since we have some time beforehand-" "OH no you don't!" Ja'far cut in. "You've already had a long enough break *and* you plan on ending early today? The least you can do is work your butt off until then." --- ~POV Mori~ The King was pushed out of the room by his right hand man. I had a mix of relief and longing watching him go. "You'll see his Majesty again soon." Yam had a sweet smile on her face, but I knew better than to trust it. All eyes were on me and they were no longer the eyes of academics; they were hungry for gossip. I was not ready to explain why shipping us was a bad idea. "So about that scroll you mentioned earlier..." I completely shifted conversation back to the eventual rebuilding effort and luckily one of them obliged me.

I was lead to one of the libraries and handed a few scrolls on the construction used in the country. I had read a little on ancient construction methods out of interest and some on modern methods since my uncle worked in the industry. I had a little bit of experience with construction when I worked at a community theater, but it wouldn't be anything the people here wouldn't know. That paired with these documents showing how magic was used in the process made what little I did know completely useless. 'Can't know everything I guess.' I turned my head up towards the ceiling. I wasn't sure how much time I had left and I decided to use it soaking up the ambience of the library. The smell of paper, the maze-esc layouts, the quiet feeling; it's like a gentle space separate from the rest of the world. The libraries of the Black Libra Tower also had huge windows to let in a ton of natural lighting. I was really going to enjoy working in this place. --- Yam and I ended up lost in conversation, so someone ended up being sent to bring us to the dinner. When we finally arrived and opened the doors to the dining hall my nose was filled with the smell of herbs and delicious food. This was my first meal that wasn't paired with bitter medicine. I might have been procrastinating subconsciously to avoid the medicine I was no longer taking. Everyone was already there chatting. The long table was covered with food, but I couldn't make out any of it from the door. King Sinbad was sitting at the head of the table at the other end of the room with a goblet in his hand. Yamuraiha started in ahead of me and called into the room. "I'm sorry we're so late! We were talking about magical proofs and," she rambled in her explanation. I heard a few comments of congrats for getting better and said "Thanks" reflexively more than consciously. As I got closer, I ignored the Generals at the table to look at the spread. There were a few different types of fish, meat of some kind, a bunch of vegetables, and bread. It brought tears to my eyes; It was so beautiful. The Imuchukk laughed at my obvious interest in the food. "What are you waiting for? There plenty for everyone." He was sitting closest to the door. I didn't look away from the food when I answered. "I'm small with a small stomach so I'm going to need to pace myself to be able to eat a little of everything. If I save the best for last like I normally do then I might not even get to eat it." That garnered laughs and comments. I ignored them; I was too busy weighing my options. As the guest of honor I was placed at the opposite end of the table from King Sinbad. Thank goodness, because I didn't think I could handle being super close to him all evening. Even with the direct line of sight, I had distance to protect me. Yam sat on the other side of Hina from me. Pisti was on my other side. Sharrkan was across from Yam. Spartos was between Yam and Ja'far. Drakon was across from Ja'far. And Masrur was between Drakon and Sharrkan.

I picked up my plate to get food. "Alright. I've decided to just grab my favorites. If I have room later then so be it!" I was used to being watched while I eat so their stares didn't bother me. I covered my plate in all of the types of fish and some vegetables. "I take it you like fish?" Sinbad asked while I was taking some of the fish that was on his end of the table. "It's my favorite!" I answered excitedly. I could tell as I placed the grilled fish on my plate that it was going to be heavenly. It was already flaking and letting the smell reach me faster. I couldn't wait to get back to my seat and took a bite of the fish. It melted in my mouth. I let out a squeak of approval as I grabbed another bite. After a moment Sinbad asked me another question. "What do you think of greasy foods?" It felt pointed. "I'll eat it if it's the only option, but I'm not a fan." The Generals made some comments that amounted to, "They have the same taste." I was too busy enjoying my food to think about what they were saying. Pisti asked me her own pointed question as I sat down. "Do you like alcohol?" They were comparing me to Sinbad. I suddenly remembered the Official Character Encyclopedia. According to it, Sinbad's favorite food was fish, his least favorite was greasy, and his favorite snacks were the types that paired well with alcohol. "I'm not a big drinker, but it's not like I dislike alcohol. I'm just allergic to sulfites." "Huh?" The group asked in unison. Time to explain one of my allergies again. "Sulfites are a very useful preservative so it was also added to a lot of foods back home including alcohol. All grape wines produce sulfites naturally. When I ingest about 2 shots of a drink that contains sulfites I will struggle to breathe for about an hour." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the goblet of wine I didn't realize was in front of me was grabbed by Hinahoho. They all looked panicked at each other like they had just dodged a bullet. In an attempt to relieve the tension, Sinbad asked Yam to catch everyone up on the meeting from earlier. Yam started ranting about the progress we had made with the alchemy magic. While they focused on reclaiming the mood, I focused on the delicious food. I tried a root vegetable on my plate. It was a little earthy with a subtle sweetness. The seasoning added to the sweet, but also had a little spice similar to cracked pepper. It had been streamed so it wasn't crunchy. I was asked to repeated what I told Sin and Ja'far earlier about the tech of home, Their questions had me explain more about my world and many of the things I had done: volunteer work to get scholarships, marketing for some networking organizations and some other companies, an assistant and teacher in out of school programs for 6 years while also working at a theater to pay for my own education. I only mentioned some of the places I had traveled to. I didn't even get to the things I did as hobbies or in working toward my dream of being a full time writer&artist. "I'm surprised by how much you say you've done." Drakon commented. I had heard similar before when talking about my past. "Is it really that shocking? Considering my age, I think it makes sense for me to have done a bit." It's more shocking that I was doing all that while getting so sick from my chronic illnesses that I would be fully bedridden and need a machine to breathe at least once a year until I turned 15. But I had also ate up inspiration porn as a child as a motivation to not let my body hold me back if I could. "Aren't we around the same age?" Yam asked me in response. I laughed. "Do I look 23 to you?" I've been mistaken for much younger than I actually was for as long as I could remember. It 1st became a problem when I turned 18 and got told I was clearly 12 with a fake ID when trying to buy an M rate game (Devil May Cry btw). "You're not?” ”Nope.” I rested my elbows on the table, interlocked my fingers, and I placed my chin on top with a smile, "But I'm curious how old you all think I am now." At 25 I was mistaken for a 14

year old. At least, a few months back someone thought I was legal (they guessed 19). Most realized I had to be older the more they talked to me, but their impressions never fully dissipated. As frustrating as it was, I found amusement in times like this by turning my age into a guessing game. Sharkkan had the face of someone fearing they had hit on someone too young. "You are at least 20, right?” They all suddenly looked worried. "I'm definitely older than 20." I answered. Pisti laughed. She was also short with a baby face; she knew my struggle. "Maybe she's older than Ja'far!” Of course she would make the closest guess. "There's no way she's older than me." Ja'far scoffed. "I am older than 25 though.” I could have teased him but I held my tongue since he already seemed annoyed with me. "How old are you then?” Hina asked. "I'm 29.” I smiled at everyone's surprise. I might only have surface levels similarities to Sinbad, but when you're a simp for a fictional character does that really matter? "I was born on April 7th so I should only be 5 days younger than King Sinbad since he was born on the 2nd. However, I don't know if there's a time dilation between my world and this one. The day we met was Oct 3rd for me back home. It wasn't the same date here, was it?" Sinbad is 29, Ja'far is 25, and Masrur is 20 during the Balbadd arc; their 2nd set of ages are 30, 26, and 21 respectfully. Ja'far's birthday is Aug 30th and Masrur's is Dec 27. Those 2nd ages listed can't be for right after the 6 month time skip because no matter how you calculate it the shortest distance between those 3 birthdays is 8 months. I was really interested in how the current arbiter of this world was going to figure this out. "It was Oct 3rd here too." "Oh. Well, that's convenient," was what I said while my thoughts were cursing the arbiter. 'That lazy son of a bitch synced the worlds so they wouldn't have to deal with a time dilation. I can feel it. Hold on... I arrived on Oct 3rd; the coup was 4 days later on the 7th. 6 months later would mean Sinbad arrives back in Sindria on my birthday. Did some 'real me' somewhere plan a b-day present for myself in some self-indulgent fanfiction??' ((Yes. Yes, I did UwU & I plan on making Mori panic then too.)) King Sinbad had that smile on his face that told me he was ready to flirt. "I didn't realize we were so close in age." No colors got in my way when he talked. That was good. I was desensitized again, and wouldn't have to deal with unnecessary distractions. I couldn't tease Ja'far, but I could tease his Majesty. "I know, right? It's amazing what the difference of 5 days can do for one's complexion." Sinbad froze and his expression went blank. Something that was probably wine sprayed across the table as Sharkkan had a spit take before erupting into laughter with Hinahoho and Pisti. "Oh my" Yam murmured with a hand over her mouth. Drakon , Spartos, and Ja'far stared at me in disbelief. Sinbad still wasn't responding... Maybe teasing him about his age was a bad idea. So far, unless it was something important I flirted with Sinbad since that was the best way to get on his good side; hearing something like this from me must have hurt a bit extra. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forgot just how sensitive he was about his age. I ended up flailing my hands from nerves, and to get his attention. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that when I know how self conscious you are." He flinched. "I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but you won't look any older than you do now 5 years from now..." "I uh.. Is that so?" Sinbad asked as he started to regain himself. "It is. You'll be just as-” "If you're willing to talk about the future, does that mean you are finally ready to explain about those calamities you mentioned in Balbadd?" Ja'far cut in with a fierce look. He had been waiting for any mention of the future to bring this up. The King spoke with a gentle but stern tone. "I don't know if this is the time for that conversation. This is Mori's first meal with

everyone after all." "I'm fine. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. As long as everyone else is willing to talk seriously for a few mins, I don't see the problem." I had been avoiding this conversation for long enough. There were things I still planned to keep secret, but I couldn't avoid having this conversation forever. And besides, I could feel in the waves that Ja'far wasn't going to let this night end unless I explained some of it. ((I have the next 3 chapters written but it's going to take me a bit to draw all of illustrations & comics. Also, good luck to all the students reading this. I know classes are starting up again. Be safe out there.))

#magi prophet fanfic #sinbad x oc #magi sinbad x oc #king sinbad #sinbad magi #magi fanfic #magi sinbad #yamuraiha

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madseance · 2 years

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This post may be true for a lot of people, and congrats if so, but the idea that there's no reason to write a story (as in, write it down vs. make it up in your head and let it stay there) except to share it with others is so Wrong to me personally that I have to make my own wee post to say how wrong it is, even though I absolutely do not want to Get Into It on the original post.

Reading a story I've written down is a completely different experience to me than mulling over the idea of a story I've got floating around in my head. And writing a story down, as OP recognizes, is a wholly different process than tumbling it around in my head. And I actually like to do both of those things entirely for myself. Yes, actually writing is hard! Much harder than just knowing what the story is! But sometimes I do things that are hard, even when I don't have to, because I get something out of them.

When I actually have to write a story down, I don't get to just gloss over the bits that need to be in there to make the plot work, but that aren't as fun to linger over as the juicy bits are. I have to actually work those out. (I mean, I guess I could still ignore them. But that's a lot harder to do when it's on the page and I can see the hole in the story.) However, I also don't like to write things that aren't fun, so I'm forced to go, "Okay, what would make this more fun?" and then rethink that bit into something I do want to linger over.

And you know what's great about that part of the process? It produces something new, that I wouldn't have made if I just left the story in my head and yada yada yada'd over that part to get to the bits I already knew about. Sometimes it even produces unexpected things that are MORE fun than the bits I already knew. I imagine this is because those other bits come from different, more emotional and instinctual places, and the stuff I had to puzzle out works different mental muscles and produces different results, creating things that surprise and delight the emotional/instinctual brain parts.

And that happens even when I'm just outlining. Actually turning the outline into words on the page is a whole other iteration of this process, where I have to pay attention to even finer details that I could've glossed over in the outline. This, again, involves creating story that didn't exist before.

So what do I get out of it, ultimately, when I actually write a story down instead of letting it stay in my head? A whole lot more story, for one thing. Story that's just as delightful and satisfying to me as the parts I could hold in my brain as vague ideas. I can remember the gist of a story, but I can't keep the full text of a book in my brain. Language! The language is important, too, and it's a whole other set of muscles than the story-dreaming ones. I get as much satisfaction from crafting a great sentence as from thinking up a great plot twist.

A written-down story is a different thing from an in-my-head story, and they both have value to me. The idea that the written-down story can't possibly be worth making if I'm not going to share it with someone else is bewildering to me; it makes no more sense than if you said the in-my-head story wasn't worth making. Or if you said, "You can just imagine the picture you want to paint; there's no point in actually painting it unless you're going to give it to someone else."

So no, OP who will probably never read this, and that's fine because I don't actually care to get into a debate with you simply because you had a bad opinion. The reason I am a "write for yourself" person, and you aren't, isn't because I've never actually written anything long form (I have) or because I don't understand how hard it is like you do. It's because you, from what you've said, don't actually enjoy the "writing" part of writing. And that's fine! A lot of people don't! Even people who do, have days (or much longer) when they Don't Like Writing. But if you ever do, it isn't hard to imagine why someone might actually write a story down just for themselves, regardless of whether they ever do anything else with it.

And that's why I say, "Write for yourself." If that sounds too "~uwu~" for you, and you don't buy it, that's absolutely fine. You had your realization about your relationship with writing, and it doesn't match mine; but what's important is you got something out of it. And actually, I had my realization about my relationship with writing because of how much I disagreed with your post. So thank you.

#writing #write for yourself #uwu i guess ✨#i will pass over the allegation that “write for yourself” is partly about shaming people for wanting validation #I'm not in this picture so #anyway don't forget to like and subscribe #(i am crossposting this to my wordpress in fact ~ madseance.wordpress.com)

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trashlie · 3 years

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they both tried so hard to put on a mask only for them to call each other out ☠️ by far one of my favorite chapters so far!!! look at those parallels!!! gosh i am hurt but excited!!!

Yeah, honestly, I think this is one of my favorite chapters lmao which feels so funny to say but sometimes you just need to see your characters break before they can get better. Nol was never EVER going to address his mask - and worse, he was planning to disappear without saying goodbye to anyone, and frankly, that was really devastating for me to think about. As sad as it is to watch them like this (someone pointed out that it reads so much like a break up scene lmao) it was necessary to put those things in the open. With the way Nol believes a. No one saw through the Yeonggi mask and b. That no one really cares enough if he WERE to disappear, he was going to just carry on like this forever.

I can't get too deep into this in the moment, but Nol and Shinae both have a habit of squashing things down in effort to be "okay". In fact, Nol's whole "Maybe I should just go with it all" spiel has a lot of connotations of wanting to just lay down and accept things, because fighting is exhausting. Likewise, Shinae tends to just... roll on from things she's endured without really doing anything about them. Kinda like when things were weird with her and Maya and she didn't address it - sometimes you go with things because facing them is hard and it's scary.

I am honestly so, SO obsessed with their parallels, I'll never shut up about it. It's why even though I'm never totally certain what I think will happen in ILY, I AM always certain that Shinae and Nol will always have each others' backs and be partners, whether it's platonic or romantic, because they have been so intricately designed to always mirror each other.

(More below because I started big rambling lmao)

The masks one is especially good because the look on Nol's face when Shinae calls him out for being the same as her. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

No one ever calls him out, no one sees through him, no one ever seems aware of his mask and even if Shinae was one of them until now, the point is, now SHE is seeing into the real Nol, she is seeing beyond Yeonggi and I think that is both scary and intimate. Yeonggi was so, SO convincing - and he was a good shield. I think it's not necessarily that Nol wore a mask only to keep people out, but I think more because as Nol he hates himself SO MUCH, Yeonggi was the way he could try to put that behind him. Nol is terrible but Yeonggi? Maybe Yeonggi could be a good guy. Maybe Yeonggi could form friends. Maybe someone would love Yeonggi. (*muffled sobbing*)

Another good parallel is even the opening! They're all the lines Nol has said to Shinae as he earns her friendship, and you see the snowflake melting because it was her melting to him and letting down her guard and becoming true friends with him. He melted the cold shell she uses to protect herself. But notably, those lines are also likely her own thoughts towards him. "I want to help you." "Let's be friends." "It's not good to bottle everything up inside. You can only hold out so long before you break." Nol needs to open up, he needs to let things out, because he is at breaking point already. He is breaking.

(Incidentally, stuff like this is why I'm such an ardent shipper of this pair; they understand each other inside and out because they've both been through this, they both understand what it's like to carry something with you that you can't release yourself from, how hard it is to let someone care, both loathe to feel like a burden. They have such an innate understanding of each other that their emotional intimacy is already formed without them realizing it!)

The one that keeps haunting me lately lol is when Jayce says "You're the only heir" or whatever and it shows Nol, and when Kousuke is told "Congrats you're the new CFO" and it shows Shinae. That.... is really loaded. I'm not sure if it's going to be as face value as it sounds but at any rate, the two of them will remain involved with the Hirahara Corp (as much as I want them to run together). But I believe that whatever involvement they have in the future will be okay as long as they are a team. Shinae and Nol are just soulmates man, okay? They are SOULMATES and I'm in love with them and the way they each bring things out of each other that they need to and I can't wait to see what kind of effect they'll have on each other in the future. (I'm also hoping badly that Nol is the person who shows up on the rooftop at the party at the Parks', because pls I want them to reconcile now rather than 4.5 years in the future lol)

UGH I just love them and I love this episode I'm SO happy to gush about it with people after all these weeks AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

#I Love Yoo #Yeonggi #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Shinae Yoo #Stalkyoo #there's def a lot of overt Stalkyoo tones in here #like even within their paralllels #whether or not you interpret it as romance #i view everything so far as foundational - something is developing but neither is in the place to acknowledge it #they each have so much to work on #but the seeds are sown and one day we'll see them sprout #anyway i am v obsessed with Nol and Shinae as parallels #ILY is sooooooo full of parallels i never get tired of it #ILY Brainrot

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silvanable · 4 years

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I hope your requests are open! I didn't see a post whether they were or not 😅 but I was curious if I could request Theo, Arthur, Comte, Napoleon and Leo with M/C that has crazy amounts of tattoos? I'm working on my 2nd sleeve right now and my back piece is almost done! I feel like tattoos like that are totally unheard of in their time lmao thank you in advance!! 🕸

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congrats on almost finishing your second back piece! honestly i adore people who get tattoos ( i’m terrified of needles so for bravery ) and the fact that the designs can get so intricate.

i especially love this request because you’re right, it is unheard of! so i’m here to supply the demands.

i actually did do a bit of research on tattoos and as mentioned in comte’s part, up until about the 1970s they were only evident in tribal cultures ( symbolism mostly ). they became popular in the 70s and more widespread!

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦

↪ GUIDELINES

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ー ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

would marvel at a s/o who’s skin is marked over with ink.

he would certainly be intrigued, calling it a mystery of it’s own.

arthur would find it intriguing.

he would want to understand how the ink from a tattoo is different from the ink one might use will a quill or pen.

not to mention the fact that it does not smear off is impressive.

tattoos are uncommon ( read: really don’t exist ) in the 17th century beyond those that serve the purpose of tribal or cultural means.

but still that is uncommon to come across and those who are aware of tattoos would associate them with “heathens” and “uncultured”.

there would be an interrogation lots of questions about the process, the details, etc.

even if his s/o isn’t all that great at describing the process and answering his questions he still gathers the general idea.

feel like he would have the most reaction to learning the ink is placed in the skin by repetitive needle pricks.

it leaves that question, that is most certainly voiced, whether it is painful and how someone could sit still like that.

and if the tattoos happen to hold various meanings or value to his s/o, expect to be bombarded because he will want to know each story behind them.

he would definitely trail his fingers over them. tracing the outlines of each design.

expect lots of endearing and flattering comments. he has to make it known how much he adores his s/o’s skin and masterpieces.

ー COMTE DE SAINT GERMAIN

it’s not that big of a shock for comte.

after all the man is a time traveling, immortal vampire.

he’s been to the 21st centuries where tattoos were fairly popular ( specifically after 1970 ).

plus tattoos were a great deal in many ancient civilizations and cultures.

so having a s/o with a lot of tattoos would not faze him.

on the other hand, he would be very curious about their tattoos, as he knows sometimes they have special meanings.

he is respectful about it, when he asks his s/o about their tattoos.

will marvel time to time when having tea with his s/o.

he will not stare though. it’s rude and he is a gentleman.

would have the most knowledge of how s/o got their tattoos.

but still would ask questions when appropriate about the process.

his touches are very ginger when running over s/o’s tattoos.

mostly slow and calm as he admires and follows the detail.

personally see him as having a bit of a protective streak with a s/o with tattoos.

on one hand would absolutely love to give his s/o clothing that would show off the art that decorates their skin.

but also this is 17th century paris.

soooooo the other hand would be him trying to make sure his s/o was well covered so no one would give them grief about their tattoos not that he would let anyone though.

ー LEONARDO DA VINCI

this man is also an immortal vampire.

so while it would be something intriguing, i don’t think having a s/o with lots of tattoos would totally shock him.

i believe he’s aware of the door and its purpose throughout the different time lines and if i’m wrong oops.

now that’s not to say he would not be surprised when first seeing them.but he would.

especially because tattoos were a very cultural things.

but also it was seen as savage so that would raise some questions.

it’s just something so strange and he’s never seen it before.

will probably be the most forward in touching his s/o’s tattoos.

he’s gentle with his touch in case it might hurt them, but it would be a genuine curiosity of how their skin would feel.

is quite surprised to find that beyond the appearance, nothing seems different about s/o’s skin.

the most forward with questions.

he knows his s/o comes from the 21st century and things are different but it’s still a wonder.

may or may not have a few sketches of his s/o particularly to capture the designs on their body.

if s/o has a lot of tattoos, specifically normally hidden ones you can bet your sweet butts he would have his s/o show him.

absolutely would get his s/o to pose nude just to capture the perfection they are, a masterpiece of a masterpiece.

ー NAPOLEON BONAPARTE

i’m going to say that napoleon is probably not all that fazed by a tattoo (or many) on his s/o either.

this man was an emperor and if we’re talking historically he did traverse and dominant many lands with varying and exotic cultures to the one he came from.

but it would certainly be something that he’s curious and maybe a little wary of.

probably would not touch them, at all, and avoid placing his hands on his s/o where their tattoos are.

it’s not that he’s being rude but he’s uncertain of what might happen if he touches them.

personally believe he would view them like scars or live wounds, which is why he’s afraid to touch them lest he hurt his s/o.

or that it might even be a cultural thing from the future and touching them might be rude.

his s/o would have to explain to him when he eventually asks about them only after his s/o questions why he seems so scared of them.

explaining that they aren’t anything that hurts them is one thing but explaining how they came to be on their skin is another.

napoleon is rather calm, there’s only ever the brief flicker of concern his s/o picks up in his face as they explain.

he’s cautious at first, when finally touching the decorated skin of his s/o.

eventually he doesn’t hesitate and grows to quite admire them.

when his s/o is sleeping in his arms he will trail his fingers over them ever so lightly so he doesn’t wake them.

ー THEODORUS VAN GOGH

he’s an art dealer and i’m saying it now, tattoos intrigue him because of the artistic factor.

really tattoos are art and the medium is needles, ink, and skin for canvas.

honestly theo is most likely to glaze over the fact that the tattoos are permanent.

why? well because the first time he sees them on his s/o he assumes that his s/o was drawing on themself.

it isn’t until later when he sees s/o with the same drawings every day does he bring it up.

so has to explain that they aren’t ordinary drawings and are actually embedded their skin.

that surprises him.

theo is a gruff guy but as he has a passion for his brother’s work i feel it would be all art in general.

the tattoos would be a surprise but i also see him wanting to understand how they’re made, considering he’s never seen such a thing before.

there are questions. lots of them.

but all of the things he asks are professional. revolving around techniques, properties, and they get more in depth the more his s/o explains.

having a s/o with inked skin would be something he might secretly take great pride in, because essentially s/o is a walking masterpiece.

it would not be uncommon for his s/o to catch him staring.

not that he’s being rude but whenever they’re around theo finds himself mapping the exposed art on their body.

he just likes to admire them okay.

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#Ikemen Vampire #ikemen series #IkeVamp #ikevamp arthur #Arthur Conan Doyle #ikevamp comte #comte de saint germain #ikevamp leonardo #leonardo da vinci #ikevamp napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #ikevamp theo #Theodorus van Gogh #ikemen vampire headcanon #ikemen vampire headcanons #ikevamp headcanon #headcanons

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awed-frog · 3 years

Note

You know, all this talk about languages got me thinking about my own personal history with foreign languages, fluency and the need to learn them. I was born in a Eastern European country and ever since I was a toddler I used to hear " to succeed, you need to learn foreign languages and learn them well, cause your language ain't shit and nobody else speaks it anyway." So I started learning english quite early thought the way it was thought rendered the lessons pretty useless. I attained fluency on my own, by watching tv shows and reading in english. My pet project as a 13year old was 'become fluent in english and start learning french'.

Funny enough my family moved to France around that time, so the moment of my reckoning with French came much sooner than expected. I had a poor level of French (my name is X and that's a door level) and I arrived here after they stopped teaching french children french grammar. So I basically had to learn on the fly, empirically, a bit like I learned english before. I was severely mocked for the way I spoke, ffor my lack of vocabulary or my lack of knowledge of french culture, for my foreign accent or my rolled r. It kind of became an obsession to me to speak "like a native". To imitate the regional french accent so well that no-one would know I wasn't from around here when I opened my mouth. After 4 or so years I finally attained fluency in french. I could read their 18century texts with no problem get their cultural differences etc. The first time somebody told me I didn't have an accent I was literally screaming inside me : OMG I pass! I pass as a French!

I was really proud of my self and of speaking fluently 3 languages. Only then I realized that while I considered French a foreign language, for them it was their native language. My own native language wouldn't be useful at all here, for any potential job. Nobody speaks some obscure language from Eastern Europe. You had to know English and some other neighboring language...at school I chose to learn Italian because I fell in love with Italy during our vacations there. So I threw myself head first into learning Italian, all the while trying to perfect my French. I reached intermediate level but by then I got into University and I couldn't keep up with my Italian studies.

You know what your posts made me realize? I never had any fun with my foreign languages. I liked them, but I always viewed them as an obligation or some necessary thing to my existence. I never actually took the time to simply enjoy it, quietly and slowly at my own pace...idk I find it kind of sad. One of the things I want to do next year is restart working on my Italian because I forgot a lot since highschool and you gave me a lot to think about how I will do it 🤔

Thank you for sharing this story.

It’s very sad when people feel their language is not worth anything. I wish we could come up with a way to tell everyone that you can do both - you can learn ‘useful’ languages while valuing and loving and being proud of their native language. With so many languages disappearing every year, we really need to do more to get this useful/useless dichotomy tf away from culture.

And I’m sorry all that happened to you. If it helps, I was on the other side of it all and I always regretted it. When my small town got its first refugees from the Balkans, I was very young, and I don’t remember any explanation from the grown-ups other than ‘Be nice to them’. Which, children being children, wasn’t enough. While I wasn’t mean or anything, I must admit the fact they barely spoke my language was enough to consider them all uninteresting, and possibly a bit stupid. It wasn’t until I was learning languages myself and traveling that I realized the frustration of wanting to add more than a ‘Yeah, sure’ to a conversation and not being able to. How so many people reach adulthood still fixed in this ‘He doesn’t speak my language very well and that means he doesn’t have anything interesting to say’, that’s beyond me.

Congrats on overcoming what sounds like a really shitty time and kudos on reaching your language goals! I wish you all the best with your Italian. Take it easy this time, and have fun!

#ask #langblr #language learning

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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i'm answering it like this bc i felt like it was too personal to share to the entire world so... hi r anon! this one's for you 😙❤️ if you're not r anon, please don't bother reading. this should have loads of trigger warnings but idk which ones anymore im kinda out of it lol

there are a lot of unexplainable things in this world. like,, for example... i have anxiety and i know for a fact that i have no reason to feel like this but i still feel anxious anyway. just because it defies logic doesn't mean that it's not 'real.' anw, ig what i want to say is... your feelings are valid and your coping mechanism *could* be healthier but your experiences lead to you forming them so i can't say it's 'wrong' either.

first of all, congrats on your oral test! so proud of you, love! second, a human person is designed to evolve and adapt. in this context, there will always be a 'better' but that doesn't mean that we can't celebrate the 'good' of now. it's progress you see and nothing can devalue progress. it just is. personally, i believe that there would never be an 'enough.' we grow by constantly pushing our limits however, pushing our limits is not equal to not taking a break. break isn't something you earn, it's a necessity that you shouldn't deny yourself. you failed a test? take a break and work again after you're rested and maybe things would be better this time. you passed a test? take a break, you deserve it. you've done nothing but you feel tired? take a break. becoming better isn't a race. you could walk or dash depending on your energy and motivation. it's okay. we have our own paces. this is something i'm still working on personally but you don't need to fit in someone's definition of 'better.' not your family's, friends, society's. you just... need to be content with yourself ig? today, i have 3 things planned out but i dont have the energy to do all three so i just did one and i'm happy with that because the me from before wouldn't even try in fear of disappointing myself. today though, i realized that as long as i am making progress, even if that progress is just a millimeter in a mile-long run, i'm content.

i've never thought about harming myself or anything (mostly bc im scared) but im happy that you're getting help. i didn't study psychology so i may not be able to help aside from offering support. i personally don't expect anyone to be perfectly happy and sane all the time but i also cant come clean about my anxieties to my parents bc they think so highly of me. i understand where you're coming from really but my rational side just keeps popping in to yell, you don't have to be guilty for feeling things and being human.

i'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this but... i want to say that i value you and i think you're so strong. i'm not sure what the right thing to say in this situation is but i love you and i'm so proud of you. i'm here if you need me anytime.

also,, no offense but that's bullshit. i could be a millionaire rn and i would still be depressed and anxious and tired. material things do not dictate the mind's state of health. it's not as simple. there are so many factors to take into consideration and just... no. your feelings are valid. you're lucky to have the things that you have, yes, but it just... doesn't connect you know? you're not lucky to be feeling shit, no one is. period.

it's a hard time for you and i sympathize with you. again, if you need me, i'm here. always. i believe in you and i know that we can get through this together. exams be damned, you and your health are more important and anyone who says otherwise is just straight-up wrong. and idk if its just me blindly trying to be optimistic to deal with my own problems but i like to believe that one day, our pain would ease and maybe then, we'll be clear-headed enough to see the true value of things.

don't hesitate to take breaks, dear. be it from studying or social media or writing. do what you think is best for you and your safety. it's your life and your body, you know it best. i hope you feel better soon and please remember to breathe. i love you and i'm grateful for your existence in my life.

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗

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peakyblinders1919 · 2 years

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Hi! Can I get a peaky blinder men pairing? I’m a 5’2 girl, I’m basically the definition of perfectionism, idealism and ambition and…also a walking contradiction haha. But I love helping others, I listen a lot. I hate conflict but I still protect my values and what I think is right. I am very very loyal and honest and that’s what people tend to like about me: they know they can really count on me, i won’t give them up and I’ll always be straightforward with them (even if they don’t always want to hear the truth) I can be quite bossy, i love being in charge and having control over...well, literally everything. I’m a hopeless romantic, I’m very vivacious and bubbly and usually a laughing wreck! I am very anxious and stressed most of the time so it’s a bit overwhelming to deal with that many emotions (for me and for others). I come out as cold but I’m really caring and passionate like...deep inside lol! You really have to give me the time to get comfortable to you or I’m just very awkward with a great resting bitch face. People also say that I have an old soul, i love old stuff, vintage fashion and antiques. I’m very curious and anything can catch my attention, i also love learning and discovering new things, playing the violin, dancing and singing (but just alone in my room when no one is watching otherwise I’m waaay too shy), daydreaming, reading...Thank you very much and congrats on the milestone I’m so happy for youuuu💕

Thank you so much babe! Honestly, reading this it sounds soo much like me!! resting birch face and perfectionist over here!! Honestly made this harder for me but I ship you with.... I think you'd be a perfect match for Tommy. You may even be too similar, like it could be a very emotional, stubborn, relationship but I think it could work! You'd know how to put him in his place.

Hearing a beautiful noise, Tommy's got no choice but to follow it down the hall. He stops when he finds you, watching closely as your body sways to and fro in time to the music created from you plucking the strings of the violin. He loved the way you lost yourself in the sound, eyes closed, mouth pursed in concentration.

"Sound's like you're getting better."

Immediately you stop, totally frozen and suddenly shy in front of your love.

"Tommy, out!" You point at him, a violin bow never having looked so dangerous.

"I didn't mean to interrupt you-" he begins to protest, hands raised in silent surrender.

"You know I prefer to do this alone. Out." You demanded.

He smirked.

"Well, what I have in mind right now I prefer to do with you, but I suppose I can do it alone..." His eyes devoured you.

"You're so distracting. I'm not saying it again- out!"

"Can't I just stay and watch?"

"How about you go back to what you were doing and when I'm done I'll come find you, hm?"

#5kpeakycelebration #ship

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artistclock · 3 years

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WHEN IT WILL BE ME?

By: Cherry Mae Parohinog

Be the best or be nothing at all. Remember that no one remembers the second best or the rest for that matter. Aim for the top place. Always.

I had it in my head that individuals were constantly looking for attention and a good reputation. We lived for their compliments. Who doesn't like to be complimented? One positive word from you, they can live for a day. One positive sentence forms you, then they can build an altar and worship you. They can even kiss your feet.

"Our school's pride! Let us give Mr. Merritt a standing ovation! The well-known art competition was held in Manila. And, of course, congrats to Ms. Hernandez on her second-place finish. Thank you very much! Mr. Merritt, top one!”

Roaring applause was given by the crowd to us and especially to him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s drop-dead gorgeous or because he won. I bet my life, it’s the former.

When my name was called, I couldn't help but notice the host's low tone. See, second place means nothing. I also stood up and clapped. I didn't clap because I wanted to; I clapped because it was my initial inclination, and it was required by the program. And I should, because I'm one of the winners!

“Congratulations, Ms. Hernandez. Your arts are good and getting better.” The host mumbled to me and smiled with her lips pursed.

Comparative versus superlative adjective, I see.

Her words could no longer be heard due to the great weakness of her voice and the crowd’s loudness. I accept her compliment with a nod of my head. It would have been lovely to hear her praises, but they didn't last long in my ears. Her words sound rehearsed.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” I return the smile she gave to me.

Another medal and trophy to be cover with dust.

James Austin Merritt, the winner, in his custom-tailored tux from the back of the host, sashaying his way to us. His chiseled arms are highlighted by his serge coat. His tousled hair, crimson lips, flushed cheeks, and metal timepiece. His deportment now matched his brusqueness and arrogance so well. He looks expensive and extremely confident.

“I know I mentioned it before, but let me congratulate you again,” he says as he clears his throat. “Congratulations, Ms. Olivia,” He's in top form, with his cheeky smile on his face, and his right palms outstretched in front of me, indicating that I should take it.

This is the type of guy I should avoid.

“You, too, Mr. Merritt. You brought the school’s name again. I’m so honored to join you in that dazzling journey we had in Manila. You’re the best companion.” I clasped his hand in mine and smiled at him.

The words taste so wrong on my tongue. I can even taste the bitterness.

“You two did an outstanding job. And this handsome prodigy, oh, darling, make us prouder,” the host taps his right cheek. She has the look of a proud mother. I almost puked when I saw how sweet it was.

He turns his face toward me, allowing me to get a good look at his aristocratic features. “Not at all, Ma'am. Olivia is here, and she is the best at everything. As with anything! Did you happen to notice what she used in the competition? She used oil paint as well as poster paint! The beauty of her artwork is breathtaking! I'm lost for words to describe how stunning and talented she is. I was startled and mesmerized as I stared at her. I-I'm referring to her painting,” His prominent cheekbones turning a slight shade of red.

I stifle a little chuckle. I'd like to believe him. His comments, despite the oozing tone of sarcasm and stupidity, ring true in my ears. I only hope Mrs. Ronald, the host, agrees with us, although I doubt it. Her sour expression tells me so.

My hands are itching to hit him - no, beat him! Hmm… maybe later, Mr. Merritt.

“What exactly are you saying, Mr. Merritt? You won, which implies you're the best. What would happen to our department if you weren't there? A strong and confident man. Your artistic prowess is out of this world,” she shook her head, wanting to put a stop to the conversation.

Mrs. Roland may believe that a man has all the power, but this is not the case. I wholeheartedly disagree. I believe that women can accomplish just as much as men.

It appears to me that I am not as important as him and that I was only placed there to fill the gap. My achievement and trophy mean nothing to them.

“No, no, Ma’am. She’s also a winner in the competition too. I was so amazed at how good she was that I was ready to go home crying that day,” He shoves his hands in his pockets and glances over me. His left dimples popping out.

“Alright, Austin, if you say so. I'll leave you two alone now. I’ll just talk to someone on the other side.” She gracefully turns her back on us. Her sour expression remained.

“What was the point of that?” You want to court me?” My arms are folded on my chest.

His mouth fell open, and his brown eyes were as large as saucers and almost out of their sockets. He has a peculiar appearance. I nearly roll on the carpet!

“No. Never, Miss, but you can thank me though. And then I'll say, 'Welcome, Olivia.' How does that sound?”

I groan. As I looked at him, I wondered how someone could be so dumb.

“I appreciate your kind words, Mister. Hearing that made my day.” I mock him by pressing my palm to my chest and bowing slightly.

He mumbles an expletive under his breath. “Stop dissing me, please. The competition ended well and unbiasedly. And are we already friends, or am I imagining things? But for me, we’re already friends. We can help each other. We can also create beautiful artwork. What do you think?” He wiggles his eyebrow. As a result, he is quite attractive; otherwise, he would resemble Mr. Bean.

“No, we're not friends, and we never will be. Well, unless you are the firm believer of ‘keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer, then we can be friends,” I shrug my shoulder acting as a cool kid. I just need myself and no more.

His stares are so intense that I almost cringe.

“If that’s what you want, then fine. We’re enemies now.”

Perhaps it is true that when the universe aligns, there is a force that allows two opposing things to become one.

I let him see every inch of my heart.

On the floor was a jumble of canvases, paintbrushes, and paint colors. Images of hazy landscape sceneries, abstract paintings, and random people's portraits are hung, while some are simply lying against the wall. I watched him in the corner as he was serious about what he was doing. It’s like he’s the only one in the room and his painting is the most important thing in the world. His hand seems to be dancing to a rhythm that only he can hear. The veins in his arms protruded when the paintbrush kissed the canvas. His brow wrinkled and his crimson lips parted slightly. It's amazing to look at him in such a way that you wouldn't believe he's puerile and truant.

Let’s make art together. No rivalry between us.

His words break the high sturdy wall I built for anyone to protect myself.

“I'm hungry,” I said, although I'm not. All I want is for him to pay attention to me as well.

“Then, eat. I don't have your mouth,” he says. He didn't even look at me. He's really serious about what he's doing.

“You’re arts is romantically beautiful, Austin. It never fails to amaze me. I want to make you a statue,”

“Really? That's very thoughtful of you, Olivia. Thank you for your backhanded compliments. It's much appreciated. And I think... I'm going to cry. Could you please hand me a tissue?” He retorted.

Oh, God! Give me more patience.

Dropping my head back against my chair and dragging my breath through my nose. I prop my right elbow on the armrest and lean my head against my hand.

“Have you read what was posted in the bulletin? They’ll have competition again. Maybe you'd like to join?” Now he's focused on me and telling me something else. His words were vague in my ears. In a trance, I'm staring at a line of ants scurrying around the wall. What if I lose once more? A second-place finisher again? I don't want to lose. For once, I'd want to be on top. No, I always want to be at the top. No one but myself! The best of the rest!

I'm a sad little girl who craves attention and longs to escape reality. My anxiety began to attack.

I recall my father yelling at me, "I won't look at your trashy trophy, and I'm not proud!" He claimed that painting is not a career and that I cannot earn a living from it. The benefit here is that dad let me choose the course I wanted, which is why I chose fine arts, but how could this freedom feel so lonely?

He spews his venom at me for not being the best. I held my tongue and waited until he was satisfied with the damage. I can't blame him; he's one of the most competitive people I've ever met. He was distraught. It’s like I’m trying to hold hot water in my bare hands. So cruel. He has such a terrible opinion of me. I value the arts in all of their forms.

I believe in the power of words and their ability to affect people. They have the power to make or break you. They can even kill you.

“You’re worthless! You deserved everything bad that happened to you! All the hate! Why won’t you just die?!” I screamed as I stood in front of the mirror, pointing to myself.

And he made me feel unloved and unworthy.

I was immersed in thought when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

He looks at me as if he’s reading my mind and my soul, “Hey, I got you now. You’re doing your absolute best. Stop trying to control everything around you. Stop it. Stop thinking about the outcome of every situation, just enjoy the moment. Don’t be hard on yourself, Olivia.” His tone is gentle.

“If everyone turns their back on you, then look at me. I’m your number one fan, remember? I hope that’s enough.” He mumbled.

In response, I gave him my genuine smile.

People have asked me if I’m okay with placing second or third, and I’ve always said yes. That's the response they're looking for. They don't care about me. They simply want to pique their interest. That's all there is to it. That's why, in the end, you're the only one left in the dark, bruised, and defeated. You didn't get the kind of attention you were hoping for. Who would want to hear from someone like me? Nobody knows who I am. This is how the world works

Jesus! I sound like a petulant child.

The afternoon zephyr gently ruffled my hair a little. I'm seated in my school uniform on the far side of the school's reading sanctuary section's concrete gazebo, surrounded by trees whose leaves are already falling and scattering on the sidewalk. It's a peaceful spot. The sound of the page of the book I’ am reading hurt the silence of the surroundings.

It tells the story of a wise man who can't seem to find himself. He was enslaved to the standard that society and his family imposed on him. Because of his intelligence, he lacked a friend. His diary was his lone confidante. In this journal, he writes down all of his thoughts and the words that are stuck in his head.

Why do I have an affinity towards him? Perhaps because we are in a similar situation. I recognize myself in him and can relate to him. If he utilized a pen and paper to write down what was going through his mind. In turn, I used a paintbrush and a canvas to express my feelings and resentments in life.

I was so engrossed in my daydream that I didn't notice the mighty Austin lounging coolly against the jamb of the gazebo, hands in his pockets, and chewing his bubble gum, which he even inflated and chewed again. Yes, he is sometimes gross. He chuckles awkwardly at me and takes the chocolate cupcake from his pocket. He uses his teeth to peel it off.

“I wish you a very happy birthday, Olivia. And I'm sorry I won't be singing you a happy birthday song. Now, Olivia, make a wish.”

I lock my gaze on him. I consider myself extremely blessed to have him. I close my eyes and whisper to the wind.

“Break those shackles, and watch me fly.”

My room opens with a loud bang, waking me up. I could see his familiar shape in my hazy eyes.

“Join the contest and show me what you've got.” He spoke it loudly and authoritatively. My father's actions surprised me. Isn't that the truth? I heard it very clear. My nails dug into the palms of my hands so deeply.

Take the risk or lose the chance. I'd go with the former, despite my reservations.

I shield my face from the light with my right hand. He, too, squints from the sun. I'm not sure why we decided to go for a walk in the middle of the day. I'm perspiring, and his neck is flushed. He unlocked the door for me when we arrived at the school's art studio. The door is excessively large and heavy. To open it, he must use all of his strength.

“How come this old door won't let a handsome man like me in? If this door is a woman, I'd say she's just trying to get my attention.” He winks at me as he turns to face me.

This man!

I take a seat next to him and maintain a comfortable distance between us. We're currently practicing. The crickets could be heard all around us.

To be honest, I had lost track of what made me happy. I've run out of ideas, motivation, and energy. I didn't have anything to look forward to. I close my eyes tightly.

“Yes, you’re doing it right. Stroke it slowly. Don’t get frustrated,”

“Everything is mediocre,” I scream, hurling the paintbrush. He took it and returned it to me.

“Slow progress is better than no progress at all, Olivia,”

“Easy for you to say. You’re famous. You’re so good. No, you’re the best! The greatest! Everyone loves you. And me, I’ am no one. A good-for-nothing daughter. Tell me… when it will be me?”

He blinks several times. Because of his heavy breathing, I notice his shoulders bouncing up. He's chewing his lower lip. In his eyes, I can feel his exasperation and sorrow. He reaches for my face and gently caresses my cheek.

“You know what, I think I should call it quits. My dreams are shattered all around me. From the start, everything is wrong. I can't function properly,” I grumble. I'm furious at myself.

I'm losing control of everything. I'm losing interest in things that used to excite me. It’s like I'm no longer a part of anything. My cheeks are flushed with tears.

“If that’s wrong, then I don’t want to be right. And don’t compare your artworks to mine, or everyone, that’s just deadly. Everyone has their uniqueness. You are your person,” he whispers.

Despite his words, I am still empty. I'm desperate to get this emotion out of my system.

“It isn't that simple.”

The opinions of those around us have an impact on how we perceive ourselves. Austin, on the other hand, is arrogant, harsh, and blunt, but he can be a dark knight in sparkling armor. He sees right through people. He lives his life to the fullest.

I stare out the window. The car was moving so fast that the trees we were passing through swiftly vanished from my vision. I'm leaning against to it. I believe we are all dissatisfied individuals. We wish for something that we don't have. We envy people and things in various ways and on various levels. We wish to be that person and live their life. We desire things to satisfy ourselves. People are usually asking for something good, yet they are frequently asking for something bad. We just don't notice it, or if we do, we're too afraid to acknowledge it. People are also cynical.

I'm extremely nervous right now. Inside, my toes wiggled into my shoes. I can even hear my heartbeat in my ears and a strong throb against my skull. I'm feeling nauseous. My heartbeat quickened as fear swelled in my chest. Austin, on the other hand, appears to be a lost child at the playground. His eyes are shining with enthusiasm.

Today is the competition day. I used to think of him as my enemy, my tough opponent. But suddenly things are different.

“I'm drowning in anxiety and fear. Who wants to swim with me?” I asked him. We were in the park at the time. I'm sitting on the concrete bench, watching the kids play.

“Me. I can even bring some colorful floaters. You want that?” he answered me while licking his lollipop.

I lift my eyes and stare at him. He was looking at a large artwork in front of us, arms akimbo. He has a carefree smile on his face.

“This is it! The world has to be ready. We are here now, ready to conquer them,” He has a devilish grin on his face.

"Don't live too much in our head, Olivia. This time you are not alone,” He added, and continued watching the artwork, "I will not allow you."

The overthinking sucks that drove me to do some irrational things, as well as my anxiety, which accompanies me around and feeds my fear, are still here. Now all I have to do is revalue myself to forgive and love myself better. I'm going to improve with time.

And he’s with me now. We are here now. This is our now. This is the reality.

“And Olivia, it’s always been you.”

#creativewriters #creative writing #creativestory #artistry #short story #writing #words words words #when will it be my turn

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