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wwwafflewrites · 4 years

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A Rewrite of History

Chapter 10—Bugs (Part 1)

The Winchesters shoved you in the back seat, handcuffed and tied. You were mostly just thankful they spared you the indignity of a gag. Anyway, you kept your mouth shut. Not like there was any point convincing them of your innocence; they'd see enough proof for a lifetime.

The silence in the car was awkward, like you had impeded on what was usually their time alone. It obviously wasn't your choice, but it still felt like they were blaming you.

Dean had his music playing softly in the background, but that was about it.

So this is how it's gonna be. Fun times.

They were silent the whole way, only finally talking when saw a town up ahead. Night was soon falling.

Dean sighed as he pulled into a bar parking lot. He asked Sam, "You wanna come with?"

Sam shook his head. "Nah. You go. I'll watch her." He proceeded to take out a newspaper and began perusing.

Dean shrugged and went on his way.

You couldn't help but peek over Sam's shoulder. 'Local Death & Medical Mystery' the title read. Looks like the public suspected it was 'Accelerated' Mad Cow disease. You both knew that that was not the case.

Sam got annoyed with you peering over him so he decided to get out of the car and sit on the hood in peace.

"Bugs," you murmured. Literally the worst episode, in your opinion. Then, you realized that the window was open and you fell silent. If Sam had heard it, he didn't react, though.

Nothing was ever resolved in Bugs. They just told them to never come back. And anyone with a brain knew that would never last. Eventually, after a few generations, people would be back at it.

You just prayed they wouldn't leave the car door open or something when the swarm came. Could bugs get into the car? You weren’t sure.

Wait. Hold on—were they just going to drag you around the country with them until they figured out how to kill you? Is that what this was?

Wasn't that just comical.

You'd save the 'I'm human' speech, then. The longer they thought you had something they needed, the longer you could see yourself surviving this. The longer you had to form a plan.

Not that you had much to work with.

///

A little while later, Dean came out of the bar laughing at the wad of money in his hand, waving it at his brother like a little kid.

Sam sighed. "You know, we could get day jobs once in a while."

"Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap."

True.

"Yeah, but… hustling pool? Credit card scams? Not the most honest thing in the world, Dean," he scolded.

"Well, let's see. Honest…" he lifted his hands like he was weighing the words on a scale. "...fun and easy. It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it. It's what we were raised to do."

Sam was smiling, but he shook his head. "Yeah, well how we were raised was jacked."

"Yeah, says you." Dean started counting his cash. "We got a new gig or what?"

"Maybe." Sam stands. "Oasis Plains, Oklahoma. Not far from here. A gas-company employee. Dustin Burwash supposedly died from Creutzfeldt-Jakob."

Dean paused. "Huh?"

"Mad cow disease," Sam said. You muttered it under your breath along with him, shaking your head.

"Mad cow… wasn't that on Oprah?"

"You watch Oprah?"

You muffled your laugh—quiet enough so they wouldn't hear it through the window. This was the part of them you missed seeing. A side you'd likely never see directed at you, unfortunately.

Dean straightened, like his masculinity was hurt by admitting he's seen Oprah once or twice. "So this guy eats a bad burger. Why is it our kind of thing?"

Sam began explaining. "Mad cow disease causes massive brain degeneration. It takes months, even years, for the damage to appear. But this guy, Dustin? Sounds like his brain disintegrated in about an hour. Maybe less."

"Okay, that's weird," Dean admitted.

"Yeah. Now, it could be a disease. Or it could be something much nastier," Sam said.

"Alright." Dean clapped his hands. "Oklahoma."

You had to get out of here.

///

You refused to sleep on the drive there. It wasn’t far anyway: about three hours. You could tough through it. If you fell asleep they'd see that you were vulnerable—you were human, and you weren't comfortable with them figuring that out yet. Even if you had insisted so many times before.

So you kept your eyes peeled. Regardless of how tired you really were.

Sam seemed perfectly comfortable sleeping. Probably because his brother was right beside him.

You brooded, wondering if they were going to torture you for information on their dad. Information you didn't have.

"Do you even sleep?" Dean asked, breaking your train of thought. You were probably creeping him out.

You let the question settle into silence. It was one in the morning, and you were struggling to stay awake.

"No," you said softly, careful not to wake Sam. This was a conversation for you and Dean alone. If you could convince Dean you weren’t human, then he'd eventually convince Sam. Convincing Dean of your guilt would be a lot easier than convincing Sam, in your opinion.

Despite Sam hating you, he was one smart cookie. Dean was too, but he also often blinded himself with his own stubbornness, and you could use that to your advantage.

Funny, how something you were trying to prevent a few days ago was now the only thing keeping you alive.

As unfortunate as it was, you needed them to believe you were something more than human so they'd figure you had something to offer.

At this point, you honestly weren’t sure what side you were on anymore.

It was probably more 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' kind of thing. The Winchesters just didn't know it yet.

Dean narrowed his eyes. "So what can you do?"

You took your shot. "I can tell you that Dustin definitely didn't have Mad Cow Disease," you said, twiddling your thumbs, which just barely jingled your handcuffs.

He gave you a dubious look through the rearview mirror. Does he ever watch the road? "What killed him, then?"

"Bugs," you said easily.

Dean scoffed, but you can feel yourself smiling. This was going to work—it would just take a little time.

///

The Winchesters still visited the gas company to confirm that Dustin never had Mad Cow Disease. You bit back your I-told-you-so when Dean came back grumbling.

They left you alone, again, when they arrived at the construction site. At this point, your legs were cramped, your arms sore, and your wrists rubbed raw; maybe later you'd ask them to loosen the handcuffs.

Maybe.

Though you had a feeling Dean would just tighten them.

When Sam came back with a dead beetle in hand, you felt a smugness play on your lips. You couldn't help the little grin. "What's up?" you said smoothly. You were getting a lot more comfortable with them, maybe because they weren't set on killing you just yet.

There was tension as Dean drove, like they were deciding whether to even consider your opinion or not. Then, Dean swiveled around in his seat, and stared you dead in the eye. "How did you know?” he demanded.

You dared to raise a cocky eyebrow at him. “Lucky guess."

Dean looked ready to punch you in the face, but Sam redirected his attention by grabbing his shoulder to point out the sign saying 'Open House: BBQ'.

Dean was silently fuming.

Amused, you couldn’t help but add, "Oh, just so you're aware, they accept homeowners of any race, religion, color, or…" You smirked. "Sexual orientation."

Dean slugged you in the jaw, and your vision greyed. Frick—

///

When you came to, the Winchesters were gone and you were drooling against the upholstery. So much for convincing him you didn’t sleep.

Once again, they had left you helpless—waiting in the Impala as they worked the case. As a current hostage of the Winchesters, you were surprised by the lack of torture, and endless waiting that you had to endure.

You lazily watched as a red minivan pulled up in front of the Impala, probably to join the barbecue. "Don't mind me," you sighed, "just a hostage waiting in the car while you go to a party. No biggie." The guy looked stiff and awkward. Almost robotic. Weird.

You shrugged it off.

Anyway, in your book, that was sometimes worse than torture.

You probably shouldn't be as shocked as you were that you weren’t getting tortured. Neither of these boys had even endured death yet. Dean hadn't gone to Hell…

If Crowley had been here, he would have agreed with you. Nobody likes waiting. Though, he was probably off scamming some poor, naive people of their souls right about now.

Demons confused you.

Speaking of… did the Minivan Guy's eyes just turn black?

You stiffened. You pulled at your cuffs. "See," you hissed to yourself, "this is why you shouldn't leave me sitting in the car, Winchesters. This is exactly why—"

The man—the demon—approached the car, and you cowered as far back into the seat as you could. But no matter how you positioned yourself, there was no hiding.

Damn—he was a big guy, too. You probably couldn't stand a chance against this guy if he was a human, let alone a demon. He was almost bigger than Sam Winchester. Not taller, just... burlier. Meaner looking.

And as much as you hated to be a hostage of the Winchesters, the demons were not a better option. Whatever they had planned, you confident you wouldn't like it.

You cursed to yourself. "If anyone's listening, I lied earlier; torture is so much worse than waiting in the car all the time. I was freaking joking!" You desperately tried to open the door, but it was locked. "I swear this universe has it out for me!"

The demon was coming straight for you. Your car was gone, as was your angel blade. And… he had a brand on his arm that looked like a cancel sign. It was a binding tattoo. So exorcisms were out of the picture—so they knew your go-to, now. And they knew you were defenseless otherwise.

Your only hope was the angels, but they definitely weren't interested.

When the demon brought up his fist, you covered your face, bracing for the inevitable.

The window spat glass when he punched it. A hand reached through and grabbed for the chains of your handcuffs. When you pulled away, he socked you in your bruised face.

The demon snatched your handcuffs. You leaned away, but it was useless. If a demon could casually open an airplane's emergency exit, it wasn't going to have any trouble uprooting you from your seat.

And with that, he wrenched you through the broken window like a whip, resulting in your head slamming into hard concrete, and glass cutting into your exposed skin.

Ow.

How was nobody seeing this?! Sure, mostly empty neighborhood, but sheesh. They were having barbecue while you got your brains knocked out on their driveway.

You wheezed on the pavement, blinking up at the Impala's broken window. The Winchesters going to think I did that, aren't they? Always my fault…

Unless you left signs of struggle.

There was already some blood on the sidewalk, but that could be dismissed. No, you needed to leave an alarming amount. And the demon could give that to you.

With what small amount of strength you had left, you pulled your arms toward your chest, and bit down on the demon's arm. You spat the blood on the ground, and his arm left puddles behind him.

The demon laughed in his deep, demonic voice, but you struggled to hear him over the ringing in your eardrums. "You think that will harm me? And you call yourself a hunter."

Who ever said I was a hunter? Survivor, maybe, but never a hunter. Hunters are supposed to be brave.

And I am not brave.

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sam-writesstuff · 5 years

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Family (Crowley x reader x Aziraphale)

Requested: Hey! I was wondering if you could write a fic with a teen!reader where she spends a lot of time with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're like protective dads over her. One day the angels/demons take her to try and get information about Crowley and Aziraphale, obviously they rescue her and they don't want her to bother with them anymore because they don't want her to get hurt so she yells at them?? Very angsty with a lovely fluffy ending xo

Warnings: Ignorant family, Slight child abuse.

Word Count: 1899

A/N: I know I said I will post a fic last weekend, but due to some technical issues with my computer, I wasn’t able to finish this ‘til today... I’m sorry🥺School’s kind of dragging me behind with literally everything I enjoy doing;( Learning is important, but I miss the days I can just go anywhere and do anything whenever I wanted to😩 I didn't expect this to be turned into a series... But I guess it is? I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

---

Life wasn't fair.

You learned this way to young. Your mother hated you, specifically because her own life was ruined in the result of your birth. Your father was selfish and ignorant; an arsehole. Weird enough, you couldn't bring yourself to blame either of them. Your mom was a poor victim of society, and your father was a victim to his father. Not enough reason to abandon a child, but the world you lived in taught you things that most people learn in their thirties. When they got divorced, you were handed to your grandmother. When she died, you were handed to your aunt. Handed, like an object. Like a hot potato, keep being passed on and on until the music stopped playing. When you realized that you can decide when to stop your music, you didn't linger longer. You were around thirteen when you first tried to escape from your aunt.

It was freezing that night. The night was so, so cold. Everything moved slowly, but you kept walking. You didn't have much on you, and you weren't sure what you needed to do now. You were lost. You thought walking might lead you to somewhere. Anywhere. It was devastating. London was huge. Even so, not a single place in this city had a room for you. You once saw the news on the tv inside a store use the word 'overpopulation,' and how the world was so crowded. You wondered if that is why there wasn't any place for you.

'God created everyone for a reason, there is a place for everyone in this world.'

Your grandmother was very forgetful. She sometimes forgot that its morning and tried to put you back into bed. Or wake you up in the middle of the night thinking its morning. She sometimes forgot how to use the bathroom. She sometimes thought she was in someplace else and kept screaming. The rare amount of times when she wasn't, she always told you that God created everyone for a reason, and there is a place for everyone in this world. You never took her word for it, but you truly wished for it to be true at this moment. If it was true, now was the time to prove it.

The bookshop across the street was the only place that had lights on. Every other store on the street was closed. You could've gone over to a cafe that was a few blocks away, but you didn't. It was as if you were possessed by something. You were like the little girl that sold matches and the bookshop was what lit up at your sight. That should be the place. That had to be the place. You entered the bookshop and a gentleman with golden hair came out.

"Hello, I'm afraid we are quite definitely clo- oh, dear. Are you all right?"

"I-I'm sorry. The lights were on and I - Ah, achoo!"

"No, it's not a problem. Please, you can sit here."

The man offered you a sit on a chair. Honestly, you didn't know what else you could do but to sit. There was nowhere else for you to go. Nowhere else for you sit. This was at least somewhere.

"Tell me, my child. Where are your parents?"

You hesitated. If you tell him the truth, will he let you stay? Will he care? He might call the police. What will happen to you then?

You were foolish. You thought escaping would help, only to lead you nowhere but to leave you to freeze to death.

"Do you have nowhere to go?"

He asked softly. Soft enough to get an unwanted child talking. No matter how high your walls were, that was all it took to collapse. But you knew this. You tried to avoid a direct answer, still, you couldn't resist the tears that formed in your eyes.

You expected more questioning from him, but he asked you none. Instead, he let you stay in the store for the night. The next morning, he made you promise to come back.

"Angels will watch over you," he said.

You didn't say anything back. Not a typical phrase you think you'd hear from a stranger. What a weird man, you thought. But then you came back because you were desperate. And every time he welcomed you with a warm heart. He seemed glad to see you again. You talked, he listened. He helped you, he took care of you.

"What is your name, my dear?"

"Y/N," you didn't say your last name on purpose. You didn't like it. Those people weren't even your family.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I'm Aziraphale."

Aziraphale. You saw the name before. Yes, you saw it and not heard it. In the bible. In the dirty, old, dark room you and your grandmother lived, she kept a bible. She'd sometimes read it out loud to you. You were too hungry to care. However, to your curiosity, you had opened it before.

Not long after you met Aziraphale, you met Crowley. You were terrified of him at first. You swore you saw him yelling at plants once.

Then one day, Crowley came to your school to see the Christmas play you starred in. You have been working on it for months, and although you weren't the main character, you enjoyed playing your role. You didn't even bother to tell your aunt about it. Instead, you asked Aziraphale if he could come and watch. He said yes, of course. Sadly, on the day of your play, a very important customer to Aziraphale came to the bookshop. Having to deal with him, Aziaraphale couldn't make it to your play. Not knowing that, you waited for him to enter through the door. Your eyes searched among the crowds, but he was nowhere to be seen. Nowhere.

More parents entered, each time waving at their kid on the stage. Some held flowers, probably to give them afterward.

"Uh, my mum is holding a camera," Harry, who stood beside you, grumbled at the sight.

"What's wrong with a camera?" You asked. You couldn't understand. What was wrong with a mum trying to savior a memory of her child?

"It is embarrassing. She'll show it to everyone at the Christmas dinner," Harry stated annoyingly. Almost like asking for sympathy. As if you are supposed to feel the same way. As if you too, had such a caring mother who would come to watch your play and record it for showing off purposes.

"Where is your mum?" Harry asked. It is these simple questions that hurt you the most. All of the assumptions, all of the conditions to be defined as a normal kid. What you hated, even more, is yourself wishing for your mother to enter from that door any moment now, and apologize.

"I-" You hear a large creek when you opened your mouth to answer. The door swung opened and entered a very familiar-looking person. Crowley.

Besides the dramatic entrance, he was a very unlike figure to be seen at a school play. Flaming red hair, wearing entirely black with usual sunglasses; his posture, in general, had a weird aurora. Parents stared at him with questioning eyes and so did you. You queried why he was there, he didn't appear like a parent. He marched over to you, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a large bouquet.

"I am not late, am I?" Crowley said as he looked around the room, "Is the play already over?"

"No," you took a moment before answering him. You were confused. "It hasn't even started yet. Where is Azi?"

"Aziraphale couldn't make it, had an important customer to deal with. Wanted me to tell you how sorry he was."

Disappointed look spread on your face. It wasn't his fault, you knew that. Though, that didn't stop you from being upset. You'll just leave as fast as you can after the play. Your friends will want to take pictures with you but... Well, you didn't have anyone to take the photo for you. If you leave fast enough, you'll be able to avoid all the questions.

"Don't be so gloomy about it. I'm here."

You looked up at Crowley with unbelieving eyes. "You are not going to leave?"

"What? No. Why do you think I came here in the first place?"

Your teacher announced that the play was starting soon, and Crowley went to find a seat. When he did found a sit, he took his phone out. You expected him to be on his phone instead of focusing on your play, but to your surprise, his camera lens landed on you. Later, himself joined other crowds of parents who scooched in the front row as quietly as possible trying to get the best shot of their children.

When the play ended, he whistled loudly. It was the loudest whistle you've ever heard in your life. He had a bright smile onㅡalmost grinningㅡand you've never seen him smile so widely. A proud smile. A kind of smile you've never gotten it before. You ran down the stairs after the final bow, towards Crowley and you hugged him tightly. He seemed stunned by your sudden action since you always hid behind Aziraphale whenever you saw him, but he patted on your shoulder in return.

"This is for you, by the way," he said, handing you the bouquet. Your smile widened at it. The flowers were beautiful.

Your friends ran over to you, wanting to take pictures with you. Their parents followed with their cameras. You looked up nervously at Crowley, but he was already taking his phone out. When all the picture fiasco was done, he took your hand and led you out to his car.

"I know my way home. I can walk home," you said but then hopped onto his car.

"Aziraphale is treating us dinner," Crowley answered fastening your seatbelt.

"Really?" Your face lightened up in excitement. A family dinner. Something you've never experienced before.

"Yes. Do you know your aunt's number? I'll call her," he handed you his phone from the driver's seat.

"I do, but I don't think you need to. Don't worry, she won't care," you didn't take his phone, knowing that she wouldn't care either way. She didn't the day you ran out of the house. She didn't when you came back, so why would she start caring now?

However, Crowley looked rather disturbed. He didn't say anything, and with his sunglasses, it was almost impossible to read him. You were greeted with Aziraphale when you arrived.

"Oh, hello, my dear. I deeply apologize for not being able to-"

"It's okay. Look! Crowley gave me flowers!"

"They look wonderful," he smiled at you softly before turning to Crowley. His face expression changed quickly and his voice deepened in a serious tone. "Did you film her as I asked you to?"

"Yes, yes. I did. Now come on, she must be starving."

After this day, you considered Crowley as your family along with Aziraphale.

You promised to yourself every single day, that one day, you'll give it all back to them. All the kindness they showed, all the things they gave you. You'll pay them back.

You never thought that your existence would endanger them, or that their existence would endanger you.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens imagine #good omens x reader #crowley x reader good omens #aziraphale x reader #crowley x reader #crowley x reader x aziraphale #crowley #Aziraphale

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aziraamane · 5 years

Text

Human AU - Part 4

(Previous) - (First)

"Anthony Jophiel "AJ" Crowley (born 12 October 1979) is an English physicist, socialite, and philanthropist, formerly serving as a professor of Physics and Astronomy at the University of Manchester. He is the youngest of media mogul Beatrice "Bee" Crowley's five children…"

Ezra didn't mean to snoop, but, well, the information was right there on the Internet, and surely it was the done thing to know a bit about the person whose home you were visiting, yes? Or that was what he kept telling himself, as he skipped to the bottom of the page to the section entitled "Personal Life."

"Crowley seldom interacts directly with the media and has confessed that he can be shy. He identifies as humanist and denies claims of atheism, stating that he would rather “listen and analyse.” In a rare television appearance on the American late-night talk show Conan in 2013, Crowley admitted to foiling the media’s attempts to take newsworthy photos of him, by wearing similar clothing every day and never taking off his sunglasses, a stunt later emulated by actor Daniel Radcliffe in 2017.

Crowley has no children of his own and has never married. He adopted his nephew, Adam, in 2018. They currently live in Mayfair.”

"Dad! Are you ready?"

Ezra clicked off the tab open on his computer screen before shutting the machine down. "Yes, darling, I'm ready," he called back into the flat at large, getting to his feet with the slight groan and creak of a body beginning to feel its age.

Well, well. It seemed that Ezra had vastly underestimated his schoolyard acquaintance. Not just a pretty face, as the saying went. There was a clever brain and a big heart behind the black clothes and dark glasses.

Ezra and Warlock lived above an old bookshop in Soho, neighbouring Mayfair, so it was a simple case of one bus and then a short walk to the address sitting in Ezra's message inbox. He had to get Warlock to help with the whole GPS navigation thingy on his phone, but without too much trouble, they soon found themselves standing in front of a high-rise block of flats that Ezra knew, just from the exterior, had to be wildly expensive. He held Warlock's hand firmly, and pressed the intercom button beside the door with his free hand.

The speaker crackled a moment. "Hello?" came a young voice.

Ezra's cheeks plumped in an affectionate smile. "Hello, Adam, dear boy. I've brought Warlock to see you."

"I'll be down in a minute! Hang on!" A burst of static, and then silence.

Barely thirty seconds later, Adam came flying down the hallway and almost slammed head first into the glass doors. "Whoops," he laughed as he opened the doors. "That was a bit silly. Hello!"

"Adam!" Warlock crowed, jumping up and down.

"Are you our guide, dear?" asked Ezra.

"I think so. Come on, but the lift is broken, so we have to take the stairs, but it isn't very high up! Come with me!”

“Not very high up” meant the sixth floor in Adam's language, by which time Ezra was wheezing slightly, thighs and ankles aching. Not for the first time, he wondered if he ought to lose some weight.

But then Adam opened the front door, and Ezra lost his breath for an entirely different reason.

Crowley's flat was magnificent, all carved marble and polished granite, very minimalist and yet utterly stylish. There was a hint of nature in the air, rich soil and woody sap, alongside the freshness of cleaning products and notes of smoky cologne. From somewhere in the flat, Freddie Mercury's soulful warble sang Let me Live.

"Uncle AJ!" Adam yelled.

The music dropped in volume, followed by a series of dull and then metallic taps. And then there was Crowley, dressed down in a loose vest and ripped jeans, dirt under his fingernails, a smudge on his cheek...

And no glasses.

"Hello, Anthony!"

Crowley blinked once, twice, then went pale. "Shit - um, just a sec." He disappeared a moment, returning with sunglasses back in place.

There had been something there, something not quite normal...Ezra couldn’t put his finger on it, and decided it was best to say nothing. Crowley scratched the back of his head, sheepish. "Sorry. Knew you were coming, just lost track of time - should I change? I should probably change. Um-"

Ezra shook his head, laughing. "Anthony, dear chap, this is your home, you needn't dress up just so the boys can have a playdate."

Warlock waved from beside Ezra. "Hi, Mr Crowley."

"Hey, kid. Find the place alright?"

"Think we did."

"Great, good stuff. Adam, why don't you take Warlock to your room, show him your toys and such?"

"Alright." Adam took Warlock's hand and they ambled off into the flat.

"Take your shoes off, Warlock!" Ezra called after them.

Crowley shook his head. "S'alright, I'm not fussy about that sort of stuff. Here, just...chuck your coat anywhere, I'll wash my hands and get us a drink."

Ezra frowned. "Am I staying?"

"Ngk - er - I mean, if you want?" Crowley practically squirmed on the spot. "Or I can drop Warlock off later. S'up to you."

"I don't want to intrude-"

"You're not. Honestly."

"In that case, yes, I shall stay." Ezra began unbuttoning his tan overcoat. There were a few empty pegs by the door; he hung it on the nearest one.

Crowley grinned. "That's my man. Alright, follow me."

The entryway led to a kitchen on the right hand side, plus an adjoining dining room and lounge. Crowley strolled over to the sink to rinse the dirt from his hands while Ezra primly seated himself at the island in the centre of the room. "You look as though you've been gardening," he remarked, tracing a finger absently over the polished granite counter top.

"Er, yeah. Something like that." Crowley turned to face him, picking out the last of the dirt from under his nails. "Got a few plants in the back, 's a hobby of mine."

Ezra blinked in surprise. Of all the things he expected of Crowley, gardening wasn't on the list. "You're quite the decorated gentleman, Anthony.”

“Mm?”

“Oh, yes. Botanist, scientist, philanthropist - is there anything you can't do?"

Crowley paused with his hand halfway to the kettle. "Ezra," he said in a low voice, "have you been reading my fucking Wikipedia page?"

Oh, bugger.

After a moment, Crowley burst out laughing, and what a sweet, merry laugh it was. "I'm just messing with you," he said as he filled the kettle. "S human instinct, isn't it, to hunger for knowledge, want answers. Can't say I blame you for looking. I'd have done the same, if it were my kid going to some fancy schmuck's house. Tea or coffee?"

"Tea, please." Ezra found himself relaxing infinitely. That laugh had done wonders for his nerves.

"Sugar?"

"Just milk will be fine."

"Gotcha." Crowley brought two cups over, setting one in front of Ezra. "So…" He sat on a vacant stool, drawing up one long leg to rest his heel on the edge. "Librarian, right? Which uni?"

"King's."

"Chancery Lane?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Ezra wrapped his hands around the steaming mug and sighed at the heat seeping into his palms. "I suppose I just live to be surrounded by books. Tried my hand in the bookshop below me when I was younger, you see, but it hurt me so much to sell the poor things, I just couldn't do it."

"And now you lend them out to students. Late fees, tea rings, dog-eared pages, drunken frat boys, the lot." Crowley laughed again. "Couldn't sell a book...that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I love it!"

Ezra smiled politely, a blush on his cheeks. It sounded like a compliment, but he couldn't quite be sure. "You're looking better today," he said quietly.

"Practically overdosed on Benadryl last night. Reckon I was high as a kite using that bloody headset."

"Was that wise?"

"Still alive, aren't I?"

Ezra tittered as he sipped his tea. "You high-fliers, always living in the fast lane."

"Is that admonishment I hear, angel?"

Blue eyes blinked rapidly over the top of the mug obscuring the lower half of Ezra's face. Angel?

He shook the thought from his mind quickly. It wasn't too different from his usual affectionate “dears” and “darlings.” "I'm hardly in a position to scold you, dear fellow," he replied, and Crowley chuckled as he sipped from his own mug.

"Staying for lunch, Ezra? You a fussy eater at all?"

"Do I look like a fussy eater, dear?" Ezra patted his plump belly. The movement prompted Crowley’s eyes, jewel-bright behind his sunglasses, to follow, a gentle smile tugging at his lips, possibly the first true, relaxed smile that Ezra had seen.

"Oh, I think you and I are gonna get along just fine, angel."

#tia-lew writes #fanfiction #human au #ineffable husbands #slow burn #work in progress #Aziraphale #ezra fell #anthony j crowley #aj crowley #kidfic #writing #fanfic excerpt

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bastionkeeper · 5 years

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Ineffable husbands #5 for the hurt/comfort prompts! ❤️ (ladies and gentlemen...... ineffable husbands no. 5)

(pffffft)

5. “Could you come and get me?”

Crowley had come to Aziraphale's rescue enough times to convince the angel that there was maybe something more than convenience to their arrangement. He'd gotten used to hearing the demon's teasing but concerned voice everytime he got into danger, whether it was a guillotine or Nazi spies. Crowley was always there to save him, like he'd been keeping an eye on him just in case.

So it was strange that Aziraphale found himself answering the call for help this time.

A literal call, on the telephone, around three in the morning.

Aziraphale almost ignored it, focused on his reading and well out of the bookshop's business hours. Maybe it occurred to him that only one person could be calling him at this hour, or maybe it was just luck, but either way he answered the phone and heard Crowley on the other side.

"Hello, who i-"

"Hey, angel."

Crowley's voice sounded raspy and deep, and Aziraphale could hear labored breathing far too close to the receiver.

"Crowley? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, fine… well, no…" Crowley sighed. "Bit of trouble… Aziraphale, could you come get me?"

Aziraphale set his book aside, taking the phone from where he'd set it between shoulder and ear to the more attentive hand. "What's going on?"

"Just need some help getting home,” Crowley murmured, his sentence punctuated with a low pained grunt.

“Where are you?” Aziraphale asked.

“Uh…” he could practically hear Crowley shrugging. “I think I’m near the park, I can probably get there… meet you.”

“You think?” Aziraphale pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you drunk?”

“No, but if it’s alright I’d very much like to be as soon as possible.”

“Just… go to the park, I’ll be there,” Aziraphale ordered, as puzzled as he was concerned.

Peering about in the dark, Aziraphale saw nothing but sleeping ducks and bushes, until someone tall and battered stepped into the pale light of a nearby lamppost.

“Oh, good heavens,” Aziraphale clutched at his chest, heart aching at the sight of Crowley limping towards him.

His wings were out for starters, and it poor shape all tattered feathers and dragging on the ground. Patches of his skin looked burned and raw, and he had an arm held tight around his waist that was wet with blood.

“Crowley, what on earth happened?” Aziraphale rushed to his side, steadying him. Crowley seemed only too happy to lean on him for support.

“Did you know there’s still demon hunters in this day and age?” Crowley coughed. “I blame the movies… and that stupid show that’s been going on forever.”

“Easy now,” Aziraphale said.

“I’m not even working for hell anymore, and they come chasing me down for… tempting their kids with Dungeons and Dragons or something I dunno,” Crowley became heavier on Aziraphale’s shoulder, his feet failed to take the proper steps and Aziraphale had to catch him before he fell.

“Here, can you put these away?” Aziraphale asked, a gentle finger poking at Crowley’s wings. “I can carry you if you do.”

Crowley grunted, wings tucking themselves away.

Aziraphale lifted him, and as they walked Crowley fell silent, maybe asleep. He’d have to hurry them home and see how bad the damage was.

Suddenly, he felt one of Crowley’s hands curling into the front of his shirt. Half-lidded golden eyes peered up at him in the dark.

“Thank you for coming for me,” he said.

“I always will,” Aziraphale assured him.

#blatantbalderdash #ineffable husbands #athenasdragon

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brwolf1995 · 5 years

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My brain: Hey, you know that TW OC you’re making?

Me: Yeah...?

My brain: Make some more!

Me: ...God dammit.

Twisted Wonderland OCs

Benjamin Burton

“I hope we can all get toge-ALONG, get along.”

1st year

Dorm: Pomefiore

Twisted from Big Bad Wolf (kind of)

Cousin of Jack

Roommates with Epel

Went to Night Raven Collage to be with Jack more. Getting put in Pomefiore and the dorm feuds threw a wrench into those plans.

A hopeless romantic. Also very gay.

Tends to butt into the other student’s romantic lives and tries to pair them up. Results vary.

Is also into sewing. He even made two fake Savanaclaw uniforms so he and Epel can hang out with Jack and Ruggie without raising suspicion (thank you @twistedwonderlandimagines for making that headcanon into something more sensible).

Zachery Howl

“Prepare to be blown away!”

3rd year

Dorm: Diasomnia

Twisted from Big Bad Wolf (the other half)

Brother of Jack, cousin of Ben

Had a strong aptitude with wind magic before ever stepping foot on campus.

Despite this, he felt very pressured when he was put in Diasomnia. As a result, he throws himself 110% into everything.

Sleep is for the weak. So what if he ends rather cranky as a result?

Has put a lot of students into the hospital due to picking fights with them. It’s getting on Maleus’s nerves.

Simon Kingscholar

“I’m still just a kid, so don’t be too harsh on me.”

Not a student, just lives there

Dorm: Savanaclaw

Twisted from Simba

Nephew of Leona

His farther was involved in a near-fatal accident and was comatosed. Leona has taken custody of him for now (ignoring the fact that he almost certainty had a part in causing the accident).

Blames himself for the accident and it shows. He tries to maintain a cheerful facade, but...

Is best friends with Ortho, regularly going over to Ignihyde to play games with him. It helps.

What’s not helping is Leona being very controlling of him, partially because he’s projecting his ideas and dreams onto the poor kid and partially because he’s not ready to be a parent by any account.

He will not be able to attend Night Raven Collage properly, for some reason. Apparently it has something to do with the Mirror.

Chester (last name unknown)

“Can’t lose your head when you don’t have one to begin with.”

Not a student, just lives there

Dorm: Heartslabyul

Twisted from the Cheshire Cat

He’s a Dullahan, a type of ghost who has no head. He uses a cat mask in place of one.

Was apparently alive around the same time as the Great Seven. Refuses to say anything about it.

Loves to mess with Riddle. Is probably the only one in the dorm who can get away with it.

Does whatever he wants without regard for anything other than entertainment.

Don’t let him near the Chaos Trio (Ace, Lilia, Kalim). Just don’t.

Eris Farla

“Please just leave. Now.”

3rd year

Vice Dormhead of Ignihyde

Twisted from the Fates

(My only female OC)

Rather strict about sticking to a schedule and is often quite unsympathetic when other students are late.

Is often thought to be a robot with how cold she can be. She’s not. She’s just a bitch

She does have a cybernetic eye that is linked up with a remote drone that she can see from and talk though.

As a result, she may be an even bigger shut-in than Idia, since she doesn’t have to physically attend class and in general, hates people.

Has a soft spot for Ortho, which isn’t really saying much because who doesn’t?

Richard Rattus/Barry Baker

“You will rue the day you crossed Richard Rattus!”

“2nd year”

Dorm: Scarabia

Twisted from Ratigan/Basil

Is the heir to a rising mafia family and is fully prepared to take over and rule the entire criminal empire with and iron fist! ...Is what his cover story is. He’s actually an undercover cop who has received a tip that the infamous criminal “Neo Robin Hood” is among the student body of Night Raven Collage.

Has made special arrangement with Crowley for this. He specifically asked to be in Scarabia because he thought that’s where Richard would end up.

Isn’t a particularly subtle person to begin with, but as Richard, he goes FULL HAM!

Like, full on evil laughter levels of ham.

Doesn’t really get pop culture. Whenever a student calls him out on it, he claims it’s “beneath him.”

Jamil hates him, due to perceiving him as attempting to replace him Vice Dormhead. Barry, for his part, didn’t intend to come off like that, but decided that it was in-character and went with it.

Nikola Ferox

“Don’t worry. I’ve got everything under control, honest.”

2nd year

Dorm: Octavinelle

Twisted from Nick Wilde/Robin Hood

By day, he’s just the barista at the Mostro Lounge. But by night, he’s Neo Robin Hood, the infamous vigilante taking down corrupt corporations one-by-one.

Has had more than his fair share of near-death encounters. As a result, nothing phases him. Nothing. Not even the Chaos Trio on Karaoke Night.

Is often seen sneaking sips of coffee on-duty. He’s typically looks so tired that everyone let’s him get away with it.

Takes time out of his vigilante schedule to fulfill some of the requests he overhears at the Mostro Lounge. Azul suspects he might be doing this, but doesn’t know how and can’t be bothered to look into it.

Know about Barry is looking for him, but since he hasn’t figured out the constantly tired fox who tends to go missing at night is probably Neo Robin Hood yet, he’s not too concerned.

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destiel-love-forever · 5 years

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Season 11: What’s worth watching

This is the second of 3 installments (season 10, season 11, season 12) because I think 13 and 14 are worth watching fully **I personally LOVED season 14, I haven’t loved one that much since season 5** && plus, this way you can watch the very final season of Supernatural without being confused!

Thanks to @longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac for asking me to do this. I actually really enjoyed it <3

Season 10 HERE

Season 11

Ep. 1 is… eh. I feel like you have to watch it, since it introduces you to ‘The Darkness.’

Ep. 2 isn’t worth watching in my opinion. The angels still have Cas/torturing him for info - they say he’s not their brother because he’s always picking the Winchesters over heaven (duh… you’re just now figuring this out??). We meet the new “Death” which is pretty important - her name is Billy, and she has it out for the boys. Promises that the next time they die, she’ll be the one to reap them, and they won’t be coming back. Baby Amara is going crazy/eating souls. They do the angel needle-in-the-head brain hacking thing to Cas, but then he escapes, kills them, goes to the bunker. And Crowley steals Amara to raise as his own.

Ep. 3 You don’t need to watch this either. Rowena is recruiting witches, Cas is at the bunker still dealing with his curse (boys helping him), they have to keep the poor guy chained up because they can’t control his curse/reactions yet. ** Cas is super adorable all cuddled up in his blanket that Dean’s always wrapping him up with. Amara is a kid now (like 9 or 10ish yo). Crowley is feeding her souls and giving her an education (basically watching hitler speeches and shit like that). Rowena cures Cas.

The last 5 minutes are worth watching. It’s Dean/Cas. You get some adorableness with Dean cupping sick Cas’ cheek, and some happy feelings with the boys at the bunker.

Ep. 4 is a MUST WATCH. Shot entirely from Baby’s perspective, and is just overall amazing.

Ep. 5 I didn’t like this ep. at all. In fact, I don’t even think I watched the entire thing when the season aired. There is a little Ghostfacers reference by the couple that gets killed at the beginning, though, which is cool. Shows at the very end of the episode Amara watching Dean the whole time and she says this creepy, “Bye, Dean. I’ll see you soon.”

Have I mentioned yet that I hate the darkness/amara? I do. I hate her.

Ep. 6 Not worth watching either. Amara is still walking around all barefoot and creepy, eating souls. Papa Crowley is mad. Sam wants to bring Cas in to help with the Amara hunt and Dean isn’t happy about it, wants him to get a break since it’s been rough for him lately (awww). Cas has been binge watching TV (he’s watching a show that’s the equivalent of Jerry Springer or Maury, one of those “the results are in and you are the father!” shows). Dean teases him for it and Cas gives him some sass. Dean’s super worried about him. Cas tries to get himself to leave the bunker and gets a huge anxiety attack/flash-backs to when he hurt Dean under the spell, when he killed the angels, then when Dean beat him up and almost killed him when under the influence of the mark of cain, breaks down and can’t leave the bunker. Cas eventually leaves, tracks down Metatron who has been videotaping crap to see to the news. He interrogates Metatron about the darkness. Metatron breaks and tells Cas that God had to give up the only thing he had ever known in order to create the world - his sister, which is Amara. Dean & Sam show up to Crowley’s to kill Amara, Crowley tries killing Dean, Amara stops him. Dean can’t get himself to kill Amara. Amara points it out to Dean. She cups his cheek and is all creepy talking about how linked they are/how neither of them can fight their connection and it’s weird because she’s in a teenaged girls body and just… ew. Ew. Ew. EW. She says she came there to settle a score “the oldest score,” which is obviously talking about god. Oh, and Sam is getting weird visions about Luci in the cage. I know that was a lot of info, but I’m serious, the episode just isn’t worth watching in my opinion.

Ep. 7 I have to say this is worth watching, because Donna is in it, and who doesn’t love Donna?!? Plus, it’s a good old fashioned hunt, which is so rare in this season.

Ep. 8 Is a good one too. It’s a flashback episode, which anyone who knows me knows those are some of my fav.’s. Plus, it’s a pretty funny hunting episode.

Ep. 9 Pretty important episode, so I’d suggest watching it. Big for plot. Amara is killing preachers left and right to piss God off. Sam is convinced talking to Lucifer will help because of his visions he’s been having, so he and Dean go to Crowley to see if they can talk with him somehow (Dean’s obvi not happy bout that). It is kind of entertaining watching Amara with the bible and trying to understand why all these people believe in him/think he’s great/yada yada.

Ep. 10 Isn’t terrible. A continuation of a lot of the same stuff going on in 9. There’s some great Dean/Cas in this ep. so I’ll give it that. Post whump hurt comfort between the two of them is always my fav. Kind of a cool ep. bcuz it’s Luci and Sam walking through memories. A huge thing happens at the end, too.

Ep. 11 Not that great of an ep. But it has a character that turns out to be a bit of a fan favorite, so I’d watch it for her (Eilene). Also, Lucifer/Cas is interesting. Misha does a great job there. There’s a bit of character development/insight with Dean, too.

Ep. 12 This is a MUST SEE. Ep with Jodi, Claire, and Alex. Great dynamic to see. Plus a nice classic hunting ep. And, of course, the awkward family dinner at Jodi’s where the sex talk comes up? That’s just fantastic. Probably the best of the whole damn season. I loved it.

Ep. 13 Honestly, this is boring as all hell. (in my opinion). I will say there’s a part where the monster shows people their deepest darkest desire, and it appears as Amara. Dean tells that to Sam and is very conflicted/hates it, and Sam points out that Amara is the sister of God, and it’s not Dean’s fault, because she picked him and now he feels these things because of her power. Says Dean can’t be blamed or judged. And he tells Dean that he believes him that Dean doesn’t actually want her, and that he wants her dead, but that Amara is controlling him. Which is like YEEEEEEEEEEEES. Because I hate Amara, AND I hate the whole Amara/Dean weird romance-esque type thing. This is literally the only plot, though. For the whole ep. They talk about this, and then Dean tells Sam Sam has to be the one to kill her when it comes to that because of the control Amara has over him, and Sam promises he’ll handle it. Save yourself 41 minutes and don’t watch it.

Ep 14 This one is interesting. It has some time travel/Dean sent back to WWII times. Badass woman of letters in this ep that Dean gets to meet. Plus, Lucifer as king of hell is hilarious. Some decent plot going on here too.

Ep 15 Honestly, I hated this ep. I also hate anything related to WWE and that shit too, though, so I dunno. Maybe you’d like it? It felt extremely pointless. Crowley escapes hell, goes to find a new weapon (Aaron’s rod), but Luci tricked him into thinking he escaped just so he could get ahold of the weapon. But then Crowley tricks Luci back, uses weapon against him. But then runs out of juice, and Luci is able to disappear. So. Basically. All that fucking happens is Crowley gets out of hell.

Ep 16 This is a cool one because it involves flashbacks from when Bobby and Rufus hunted the same thing. We find out why Rufus gave Bobby that battle of Jack with the note that Jodi and Sam found in that episode from way back when, when they fought the time god. (I wanna say that was s9, but I’m honestly too lazy to look atm)

Ep 17 This is a good one if you have time/feel like watching. Not really any plot, though. Dean takes some pills and overdoses in order to talk to Billy, and Billy mentions something called ‘The Empty’ that’s waiting for Dean when he dies. Tiny little thing mentioned there. BIG THING way later on in the series. Like… 3ish season from now? Other than that, though… eh.

Ep 18 This one should be watched. Very plot heavy. If you feel like skipping it, you can read the paragraph below, it’s not vital to watch. Rowena is alive, explains how she survived (a magic thingy). She’s helping heal Amara. Crowley went and got the horn of Joshua for the battle against Amara, says he’ll give it to the boys if they promise to help him exorcise Luci from Cas and put him back in the cage. Luci is up in heaven terrorizing the poor angels. Has decided to become the new ruler up there. Amara attacks heaven with her dark smoke crap. Luci just giggles. Rowena is afraid of Amara/starting to fear her/regretting working with her. Rowena sends the boys a message that she’s alive, they work together to trap Luci. There is a great scene in here (starts around 26 minutes into the ep.) where Dean uses a spell to try to talk to Cas inside Luci. It’s so sad :( && Luci mocks Dean for being so upset/sad. Crowley possesses Cas’ vessel, so then all three of them are in there. There is some adorableness there when Crowley tries to tell Cas to eject Luci and Cas tells him no, but then when Crowley explains that Dean wants him to do it, Cas is like ‘oh, maybe I should then.’ Luci gains control, tries killing Amara with the horn of Joshua, doesn’t work. Like at all. She takes Luci captive and tortures. Dean and Sam agree to go find Cas and bring him home.

Ep 19 MUST. WATCH. This is the gay hunters ep that got everyone so excited. And for good cause. Who doesn’t love seeing two manly hunters in love with each other, and who doesn’t love seeing Dean’s reaction to that?!?

Ep 20 is a must watch as well. You meet God, which is - ya know - a big fucking deal. It’s also a very entertaining/well-done ep.

Ep 21 I’d say you have to watch this one too. Dean & Sam meeting God. Or, well, re-meeting him I suppose. There is SO. MUCH. EMOTION. In this ep too. Sam & Dean (even Luci) have so much to address when it comes to God. All of the things they’ve been put through. Their feelings of being betrayed. Abandoned. Especially Dean. Oh, my poor baby Dean. I just… he has such a hard time in this ep, but it’s a great ep. Much needed. Well done. Among other things. I could talk about this ep for a really long time, but I’ll just stop there. Oh, and a new prophet pops up, which is always great. He’s not my favorite (no one can replace Kevin) but he’s fucking hilarious, so that’s nice.

Ep 22 Have to watch this too. If not for ALL THE PLOT, then for Luci and God going at it. Oh my. Such a great situation (And Misha did so so so well at it). Luci locked in his room listening to loud music like a pouty teenanger. God cooking pancakes and drinking coffee from ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ mug. I mean, Dean and Sam have to do a family therapy session for the two. Who doesn’t want to watch that?!?

Ep 23 From there, ya might as well finish off the season.

#supernatural #season 11 #what to watch

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kylermalloy · 5 years

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My Official Unofficial Ranking of Supernatural Seasons That Nobody Asked For

This was...surprisingly easy. For someone who has a hard time picking favorites, I’m apparently quite eager to throw some seasons of one of my favorite shows under the bus.

My reasonings for this ranking are...all over the place. Since I’m considering seasons as a whole, I look mostly at the overall narrative structure, the prevalent themes, and the major character arcs. I won’t take individual/one-off episodes into much consideration...except for when I do. I won’t like some seasons/story arcs for any rationale between “this was sloppily executed,” “the message is misunderstood by viewers,” or even just that gif of Chris Evans “I don’t wike it.” I’m trying to look at seasons and storylines objectively, but I guarantee my Sam!girl bias will peek through at some point. Also, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point after I post this!

From bottom to top:

14 - Season 14

Ah, the twilight years of SPN. Now that we know this is the penultimate season, I’m a bit more lenient toward its shortcomings. Long running shows usually do stutter to a halt, story-wise. But still. I’m not taking it out of the bottom spot.

What was this season even about? Michael overtaking Dean? Nah, that barely lasted three whole episodes. Jack becoming evil? Not until the last six episodes. Team Free Will becoming a cohesive family unit? Lol. For a season that tried to set up Jack’s evil arc as a kid betraying his family, I hardly saw this “family” except in fanworks. The most heartfelt moments remained between Sam and Dean (not that I’m complaining about that—I loved those moments!) Was there an overarching theme besides “nobody is okay, especially Sam”? Season 14 is clumsy, unfocused, and does a poor job of telling the story it tried to tell. Even Mary’s second death reeked of “well, we didn’t know what to do with her and we needed a tragedy.” Oh yeah, and John was back for a hot minute.

13 - Season 9

Here’s one of these weird seasons. I like it, but I don’t. It’s well done, but it’s terrible. Also, I’m taking fan response into consideration on this one, since it colored my perception of it so negatively.

Season 9 could have been great. In a way, it was great. It was Dean’s dark arc—the part of Dean’s dark arc that I like. I’m not here to debate, just lay out the story. Dean stepped over a line. He tricked Sam into possession, lied to him for months, then refused to apologize afterward. He took the Mark of Cain as a penance, but it blew up in his face and turned him into something worse than he was before.

This is where fan response comes in. Fandom (from what I can tell; I wasn’t here back then) vilified Sam for setting boundaries with Dean, overwhelmingly siding with poor Dean who just didn’t want to be alone. The show, on paper, wasn’t trying to make the audience think this, but the POVs were skewed in such a way that we hardly got a chance to see Sam’s perspective and Sam’s trauma—so casual viewers didn’t really have a choice.

On a completely unrelated note (see, this is why this season is ranked so low) we have the angel storyline. What could’ve been a really cool and impactful story of celestial beings walking the earth, as well as Castiel exploring his new humanity in a way (that wasn’t just about sex) ended up a trite, dull affair about underdeveloped politics and characters I don’t care about. Did Metatron (the supposed big bad) even care about the Winchesters? I can’t remember. Only the actor’s indulgently entertaining performance saves that character. Even Castiel’s human arc was so short and ignored I sometimes forget it happened. This was a season that was so all over the place—good bones, bad execution.

12 - Season 12

This season is just...forgettable. Yet another season that was so all over the place—but unlike season 9, the story arcs did not culminate in a cool twist that pushed the SPN story to new heights. We had the BMOL, Mary’s return, and the Lucifer/Kelly/Dagon/nephilim story, and...honestly I can barely remember anything about them. The twisting story threads got interlocked at some points, like Mary working with the BMOL, and Sam and Dean working with them to take down Lucifer, but the threads were all wrapped up independently. To me, this suggests a lack of true investment in the stories and season arcs. Ultimately, Mary’s return was utterly wasted, the BMOL might as well have never existed, and the Lucifer storyline is a bloody, bloated carcass being dragged along behind the show by a fraying rope (called Buckleming) complete with a bad smell.

The reason I rank this season above season 9 is that I don’t shudder when I hear people talking about season 12. I don’t generally get angry when I think about it (except the way they did Crowley dirty) and it did give us Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever given us. (I’ll elaborate on that in a minute)

11 - Season 10

This is the season in which I don’t like Dean’s dark arc. By that I mean...it wasn’t much of a dark arc. Instead of exploring Dean’s inner darkness and the choices that led him to take the MoC, we get a meandering season of (pretty enjoyable) one-offs. We are repeatedly told Dean can’t fight off what he truly is—except we’re also being told that Dean can’t truly control what the MoC is doing to him, meaning the MoC isn’t what he truly is. It’s a mixed message, and it ends up being too many episodes in a row of Dean staring moodily at his arm while he drinks. Sorry, an ancient tribal tattoo does not a compelling big bad make.

Speaking of bad guys, though, season 10 gave us Rowena! And more Crowley material! And the Stynes—wait, no. We don’t talk about...whatever they were.

I do like Sam’s determination to save Dean, and I even like the underhanded methods he used to get the MoC off. Charlie’s death was a horrifying shock, but it actually fed the story very well. And I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about individual episodes, but Soul Survivor and Fan Fiction are both epic.

10 - Season 8

...this season. This season is such a mixed bag you could almost rank it as two separate seasons! ;) This was Jeremy Carver’s first season as showrunner—and while I like what he ended up doing, I hated the way he played with the brother dynamics throughout the season, especially the first half. Season 8 starts out disjointed, very unconnected from the previous season. The story thread of “Sam didn’t look for Dean” is overplayed and very tired. Also a bit of a reach, considering the season 5 finale. My point is, Sam and Dean both act like pod people for the first part of this season. Dean is mad at Sam for...doing exactly what Dean himself did a few years ago (fandom misses the nuance of Dean’s hypocrisy and jumps right in the blame-Sam boat with him) and Sam is suddenly...living with a strange woman we barely get to meet and okay with not hunting anymore?

This is another example of the skewed POVs hurting the show’s message. We don’t get to see Sam’s grief the same way we saw Dean’s struggle in purgatory, and since Sam’s Amelia arc makes very little sense anyway, we’re forced to imagine it—and this is a disservice to both Sam and the overarching story.

However, the saving grace of season 8 is the second half. We get the bunker, the Trials storyline, which is a whump goldmine for my Sam-loving heart, and one of the best season finales this show has ever produced. I mean...they got married. In a CHURCH! I’m not really a wincester, but seriously how do you not ship it just a little when the show gives you stuff like THAT?!

*deep breath* I’m good. Moving on!

9 - Season 13

I...have a soft spot for this season. Anybody who follows me on here can probably guess why. That’s right, it’s Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever gifted us.

Let me explain. The narrative structure of the season is a mess. The exploratory theme of Sam and Dean as parents is derailed by the fact that Sam and Dean spend less than six episodes with their surrogate child and spend the rest of the season spinning their wheels until it’s time for the finale. Lucifer as a villain doesn’t give a crap about the protagonists, which makes him a really boring and terrible antagonist—to say nothing of the fact that two of the writers try to make him sympathetic and end up assassinating the character harder than Michael!Dean did. I only found Scoobynatural mildly entertaining. As for Asmodeus...who’s that?

Basically, the only shining light in this season besides the brothers is Jack. And we don’t even get a consistent characterization of him. He’s essentially a blank slate, which means we as fans and fanwork creators get to make him whatever we want. While he’s supposedly the Winchesters’ kid in canon, it’s rarely shown—that falls on us as fans to make a reality. And boy do we make it reality! This is where I found my corner of fandom, and that’s why this mess of a season ranks relatively high for me. Still in the bottom half, but it gave me one of the greatest gifts the show has ever given.

8 - Season 7

I shouldn’t have to defend myself, but while most of the fandom harbors a little black spot of hatred for this season...I don’t. Like, at all.

I don’t agree with all the creative choices of this season—the Leviathans were an out-of-nowhere big bad with no connection to the Winchesters. However, the guy who played Dick Roman did a fantastic job hamming it up. And I love how all the pieces came together in the end—Sam and Dean, Cas, Crowley, even Meg as a surprise reluctant hero. We also got Charlie! And Kevin! Bobby got a fantastic arc, both before he died and from beyond the grave. And Crowley, even though he helped win the day, also rigged the game so he took all the pieces left on the board. Mad respect for my king.

Also, as a stalwart fan of Sam whump, Sam’s hallucination storyline was all kinds of awesome. (Except for how it abruptly ended and was never spoken of again)

I know objectively this season isn’t very good, but I still find myself rewatching it a surprising amount. I have a soft spot for Sera’s storytelling, and she did not have complete control over the creative decisions for this year. Season 7 only barely misses out of the top half.

7 - Season 3

This season is great, it really is. I think the main reason I rank it so low is because of the shortened season—Sam’s aborted arc. And that was obviously out of everyone’s control; the creators had to just pick up the pieces and make do with what circumstances gave them.

Basically, I don’t have anything bad to say about this season. It’s a brother-lovefest, it gives us Bela and Ruby, and yes we get some truly great one-off eps. Bad Day at Black Rock, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Jus in Bello, and Ghostfacers are among my favorite episodes to rewatch. I just mainly miss the end of Sam’s arc. Although I do appreciate the writers’ strike giving us Castiel instead, I still wish we could’ve gotten to see boyking!Sam save his brother.

6 - Season 2

While on the surface season 2 is barely different than season 1, it also gives us loads of gamechangers. It’s the coming-of-age season—Sam and Dean aren’t kids anymore; in fact, they aren’t anyone’s kids. The season bookends of John’s death and Sam’s death make a horrible tragedy that I don’t even care much what’s in the middle.

But then again, everything in between is so good. There’s not much of an overarching story, just a sense of dread and desperation as...something...draws near. (We don’t even know what it is, but it still scares us! It’s masterful!) The tone is consistent and effective, the brother dynamics are still balanced enough to fully enjoy, and of course...there’s Playthings. :)

(Y’all are gonna stop believing me when I say I’m not a wincester, I can feel it. What can I say, I have incestuous shipping tendencies.)

5 - Season 11

This is a season that I could tear limb from limb for falling so flat in the end, but...somehow I can’t bring myself to. I didn't find myself into the Amara storyline too much, mainly because the God/Darkness sibling dynamic wasn’t developed enough to parallel with Sam and Dean invest in. But this season does an awesome job of healing the brother dynamics. While seasons 8, 9, and 10 were fight-heavy, Sam and Dean spend this season in relative peace. In times of potential crisis, they band together instead of fracturing apart. And that, honestly, is enough for me to forgive...well, a lot, plotwise. The Dean/Amara connection that went nowhere, the Casifer storyline that went nowhere, the Darkness’s grudge against her brother that...went nowhere...and I’m not even going to touch on the Sam/Lucifer dynamic that started out SO GOOD and then...well...

Again, I’m not going to touch on it. I love this season despite its flaws.

4 - Season 1

Here it is. The season that started it all. I said I was going to consider mostly narrative structures for this ranking, yet here season 1 is without much of a narrative structure, fourth from the top.

The first season of a show is always the feel-around-in-the-dark season. This is where we learn the rules of the show, how the world works, and most importantly, who our characters are. We spend 22 episodes with the writers and actors just...figuring out who Sam and Dean are, most especially who they are to each other. They were so successful in this that they spawned a fifteen year phenomenon centered around this fraternal love story. As an additional plus, since the characters were so new, season 1 gives us the most balanced POV between the brothers. We get to feel for both of them without being pitted against each other, and I appreciate that more than words.

The horror is old-school, the storytelling can be a bit cliche, but every show has an origin story and I’m in love with this one.

3 - Season 6

Again, I love Sera Gamble’s storytelling. It’s most evidenced here in her first year of showrunning. This season had the astronomical task of following up season 5. How do you follow up the literal apocalypse?

...Astoundingly well. To me at least.

This season’s narrative structure is my favorite. It’s kind of a noir thriller, with more twists and turns than Supernatural usually gets. In fact, having now watched Vampire Diaries and The Originals, season 6 of SPN kind of echoes those shows. (I don’t think it’s coincidence that TVD aired its first season one year prior to this)

Instead of trying to outdo the literal devil (the mistake of latter seasons) we spend most of season 6 not knowing who the big bad is. We meet a few baddies, get backstabbed by former friends, and we’re told Raphael is a threat, but in the end the big bad was the friend we made along the way—Castiel. It’s depressing, it’s not what we expected, and it’s honestly a departure from “traditional” SPN. But I like it. I like it a lot. If Sera had been allowed to do more seasons like this, she probably would’ve stayed longer.

2 - Season 4

I love a lot of things about this season. The way they handled the angels was great—the right way to do unknowably powerful beings. I like Sam’s dark arc. It’s coupled perfectly with his good intentions and his all-consuming love for his brother. The plot twist at the end is perfect—Sam, in doing the right thing, unleashes the worst evil this world has (yet) known.

The tone is also perfect. It’s dark. A little edgier. Edging toward eldritch horror rather than ghost horror. Balanced out with light episodes that pack a hard punch in the feels regardless. And this is a little thing, but the color grading shifts back to more sepia after the technicolor of season 3. It gives us this little sense of dread throughout the season without even knowing why.

I could complain about the skewed POVs, about how fandom still sometimes crows “Dean was right about Lilith!” when all Dean opposed was Ruby and the demon blood—he wanted killed Lilith too. But as this instance of POV-warp serves the storyline in a good, necessary way, and Sam truly did need to be brought back from his dark path, I’m choosing to ignore it.

1 - Season 5

Are we surprised? Maybe some Sam fans are—I know some who get vexed about the blame for the apocalypse being solely and constantly placed on Sam...but I’m not. The overall story of season 5 is just so good. Lucifer is a good villain in this season. Sam and Dean have an excellent healing arc. The angels are good villains, also ironic mouthpieces of the overarching themes—despite touting “fate” and “unavoidable,” they are champions of free will, since they do whatever they want in their father’s absence. Zachariah most notably. Castiel was utilized in a good way (whereas now he struggles to still have purpose in the show) Bobby and Crowley both were good in this season (and also sparked a rarepair that’s—hilariously—canon) and this season did not pull any punches when it came to death. Even the main protagonists were shot point-blank halfway through the season! (Don’t talk to me about the samulet, I can’t do it without bawling)

And Swan Song remains my favorite season finale and overall episode. Dean relinquishing control of his little brother, allowing him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the world. I still halfway wish the series ended with Sam and Dean both throwing themselves into the Cage, destroying themselves for the world, out of love for each other. (insert “poetic cinema” meme)

And there we have it! To my mutuals, I’d love to hear your thoughts or your rankings. And to @letsgobethegoodguys - Steph, since this was so hard for you, I did it myself so I could feel your pain. 😘

#supernatural #through the seasons #spn #rankings #kylerrambles #listen—i welcome discussion!#pls talk to me!#but if you come on my post just to argue with me—don’t bother

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fafsernir · 5 years

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These Are The Days Of Our Lives

Title: These Are The Days Of Our Lives

Fandom: Good Omens (Crowley/Aziraphale)

Chapters: 1/?

Summary: Everything was fine, tickety-boo, as Aziraphale said. And Crowley knew that because he saw him every day, not because he loved him. Because he didn’t.

Read on AO3

Note: Hullo! I’m just dropping this Teachers!AU because I love teachers being in love, and Aziraphale & Crowley. I will be having a great deal of fun with this, so I hope you will too. If you have any suggestions for future chapters, don’t hesitate, I’m here for that too! Oh yes, and the title’s by Queen, of course!

Sometimes, Crowley caught himself staring at Aziraphale. He would watch him do something mundane. Making tea, reading, napping, smiling kindly at some sheets his students had turned in. It was always a gentle smile.

Aziraphale would do this perfectly normal and natural thing, and Crowley would just look at him. He would take in his beautiful white-blonde curls, would wonder at how precise his hands were in any work he achieved, would stare at his chest rising and falling as he breathed calmly, always wearing the same outdated outfit, would lose himself in the blue of his eyes and the immense kindness they reflected – with just a touch of mischief, that only Crowley could decipher.

Although they had known each other since the beginning, Crowley always had the sudden realization that Aziraphale was truly handsome, every time he let his eyes linger on him. Which seemed to happen more and more often.

Was he to blame, though? He saw the man daily, he was bound to look at him properly sometimes. Did he absolutely have to admire him each time he did so? Probably not. But then again, he wouldn’t be in love if he didn’t.

NOT in love. He was not in with Aziraphale. Had never been. Ever. Had certainly not discovered his own sexuality because of Aziraphale. He sure as Hell hadn’t. Everything was fine, tickety-boo, as Aziraphale said. And he knew that because he saw him every day, not because he loved him. Because he didn’t.

They were friends. They had always been. Their parents had been, so they had been, then their parents hadn’t been anymore, but they still had been. And now they were colleagues. Platonic colleagues! Uh, well, colleagues.

Crowley had been working as a biology teacher for a year in the school before Aziraphale had arrived. They hadn’t talked since their graduations, two years prior to that, and Crowley had been planning on leaving the school for another area in London. Now he seemed to be stuck in there. Aziraphale had also confessed that he wanted to leave for another school, sometime during the first year as colleagues. That had been five years ago. They were both still very much in the school. Crowley liked to think that Aziraphale’s presence here had nothing to do with his own incapacity to leave, but even he couldn’t fool himself sometimes. Only sometimes.

But they were just friends.

That bit was clear between them. Friends.

Currently, Aziraphale was enjoying his lunch. Crowley loved watching him do that. He seemed to take so much pleasure in something as functional and simple as eating. For Crowley, it was just that, functional. He ate because he had too, and although he did enjoy some of the food Aziraphale insisted that he tried, he didn’t look at food the way Aziraphale did. He looked at it almost as if he was about to declare his deep love for it. If Crowley didn’t know better, he could think that Aziraphale was in love with food, but it wasn’t that, because he did know him – did he? Crowley wasn’t entirely sure of what Aziraphale being in love looked like.

He wasn’t sure Aziraphale had ever been in love, or dated anyone, for that matter. He hadn’t really asked, either. He wasn’t too keen on hearing about it. So he didn’t know if Aziraphale was really secretive about it, or just had never been interested. He knew for a fact that he had already kissed someone, but he had been pretty drunk that night, they both had been, and Crowley wasn’t sure he remembered. Sometimes, he thought he himself remembered wrong and had just dreamt it. They had never talked about it anyway. Crowley tried not to think about it.

“I just got off an appointment with Adam’s parents, I wish I could strangle kids sometimes.”

Aziraphale’s head shot up, looking at who had been talking, carefully whipping his mouth as he had finished his lunch. Crowley didn’t look away for a second.

“Adam’s not bad intentioned,” Aziraphale smiled.

He genuinely cared about literally anyone, especially his students. And he never talked ill about them. If at first, other teachers had tried to avoid venting when he was there, they had all quickly understood that even if he didn’t think like them, he only tried to give a positive opinion before eventually letting them vent freely.

“He has a strange way of showing his good intentions!”

“What happened this time?” Crowley asked, finally tearing his eyes away from the angelic face.

Adam’s name came up a lot in the teacher’s room. He wasn’t the worst student, but he could be a lot. He was good in almost every subject, even if he often tried to re-invent History to his liking, but he could be a pain in the ass, Crowley had to admit. He didn’t excel in biology, so he wasn’t the first to speak out in his classes – he liked to talk when he was sure about himself, and he was often sure about himself, except in biology – but Aziraphale had shared some stories, after a drink or two. It took that for him to unwind and start talking about students in less glorious terms than he usually did in presence of other teachers.

“That kid’s a tyrant,” the History teacher sighed, sitting in a chair next to Crowley and Aziraphale.

Most teachers had gone back to their classes, but they both had a few minutes left to go back to their respective classrooms.

“He just…” A noise came right from the depth of the teacher’s throat. A mix of frustration and murdering vibes. “He kept asking questions about Atlantis and aliens, I don’t even know why. And his poor parents, they apologized profusely. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

While he was talking, Aziraphale cleaned his lunch box and put it back in his bag very neatly. Crowley looked at him the whole time.

“How come he’s not like that in your class?”

It took a second for Crowley to understand he was the one the question was directed at.

“Mh?” he blinked, then shrugged. “I think he takes too much time trying to understand, so his brain doesn’t have time to create something… inaccurate.”

“See, that’s what I mean.” Crowley and the History teacher turned to Aziraphale, who was smiling softly. His teacher smile, Crowley called it, because it looked nice but also indulgent. And with the amount of crap he heard every day, he had to be indulgent. “He tries to understand. Deforming reality is his way of learning.”

“Yeah, but then he learns false facts.”

Aziraphale opened his mouth, tilting his head slightly on the side. His confused face, when he was short for an answer. Crowley had spent a lot of time watching him and understanding his body language.

“As long as he doesn’t drag his comrades down in their grades…” That was a weak retort, Aziraphale knew it, the other teachers knew it too. Crowley shook his head.

“I’m wondering if he isn’t. Bringing them down, that is. I’ve read a couple of similar answers… False answers. They should follow Pepper’s example instead of Adam’s…”

“Didn’t she refuse to talk about Roald Dahl because he was an ‘anti-Semite little shit’?”

“She… did. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. I just wouldn’t have used the same wording. He was a tall man, after all.”

Crowley hid his smile at Aziraphale’s answer. When others had heard the story, they had thought he had finally been complaining about something. In truth, Aziraphale had never been prouder of a student. Pepper did a lot of research, and she usually knew a lot about authors they were talking about. Aziraphale tried to stick to a creator’s creation, but he too could have opinions about how some writers thought.

Crowley did not listen to the rest of the conversation. It often went in the same direction – Adam was a nice kid, but could be so annoying, he needed to learn self-control and keep putting his creativity into writing books rather than re-writing History, and Pepper was too mature for her own sake, sometimes. What dragged Crowley out of his reverie was Aziraphale’s hand on his shoulder. He shook it off, surprised, but instantly regretted the loss of contact. His friend smiled down at him, and waved to his bag. Crowley shook his head, as if to align his brain and neurons back in place, and graciously got up, sauntering to his classroom, as the bell had rung.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #crowley & aziraphale #tatdool #mel writes #humor fic #english fic #alternate universe fic #teachers au

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bibliophileiz · 7 years

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Things about Supernatural’s last episode

Isn’t it weird how every other b*cklemming episode, we’re like, “It’s not as bad as their last one.” Ringing endorsements all around.

In all honesty, it’s really not a bad episode. I did have to watch it twice to know wtf was going on with the Shidim because I found Asmodeus so hammy and uninteresting that I stopped listening during his dialogue though.

Spoilers under the cut:

Let’s start with Asmodeus: What a letdown after seven seasons of Crowley, who was interesting, sympathetic, clever (when not written by you-know-who), well-developed and played by an exceptional actor. I already said this once, but it would be just like these particular writers to screw up Crowley so much that Mark Sheppard quits and then replace him with Tropey McTroperson.

I rolled my eyes just at Asmodeus’ introduction – nice to know he has access to a smoke machine to make his entrance more dramatic. Remember when Cas made the roof rattle and the lights pop as he strode into the barn the first time we saw him? What about Rafael, who took down power in the eastern seaboard? What about Crowley, who kissed a dude then told the heroes he didn’t care for Lucifer and gave them the Colt. What about Billie, who sang a spiritual about death as she reaped souls?

Then Asmodeus turns out to be scarred, have an outrageous good ole boy Southern accent (that is fake as fuck – my job is to talk to Southerners, and none of them sound like that), wear a stupid white suit, and immediately choke to death a bunch of demons because the “hobbies” Ramiel referenced must have included watching Darth Vader’s scenes in Star Wars over and over. His dialogue is nothing I didn’t hear from Jafar the first time I saw Aladdin, and his evil plan is to become the manipulative adviser to the ruler of Hell. We just won villain stereotype bingo, and we’re only in the first scene of the episode.

It was also a letdown after Azazel, Ramiel, and Dagon … who by the way never shapeshifted. Weren’t they always in vessels? It wouldn’t be the first time this show has retrofitted its own mythology (*coughing all over the angels in Season 9*)

Do I just shrug it off and say these writers are terrible at writing villains and always have been? Not sure I can blame them entirely … if Asmodeus is going to become as big a deal this season as I think, there has to be more than just b*cklemming contributing to the character. It’s a bummer because if this was just a one-episode villain like Ramiel had been, I’d have found it hysterical. Yes, Jack, smite Big Daddy demon on your third day of existence, it’ll be hilarious! But I’m not sure I can take an entire season of this guy, especially if the only other big-time villain we get is Michael.

Speaking of Michael: Ok, if I’m going to get a showdown between the two most powerful archangels ever, I want it to be more than just … a fistfight. It needs to be at least as impressive as Castiel’s introduction in Season 4. I know the show’s special effects budget is limited, but how threatening are your villains really when Dean gets into more impressive brawls like every single episode? Let me see their wings! Let me see them try to smite each other! Let me hear them break glass and make stars go out!!

Jack is a muffin and I love him a lot: Jack was just as good in this episode as he was in the last one. I don’t know where they found Alexander Calvert but I think he was put on earth to play this role. In his first episode, he walks this fine balance between manacing and charmingly innocent. In this episode, the charming innocence is still there, but it’s slowly being clouded by this fear of his power and what it could do if he misuses it – even by accident, as we saw when he tried to free the Shidim. He’s kind of like Cas in that he wants to do the right thing and be heroic like Sam and Dean but isn’t really equipped with the decision-making skills he needs to know when he’s about to make things worse.

The scene between him and Sam in the alley is exceptional. Jared Padalecki nailed it. I loved Sam telling Jack he loved him – that’s not exactly what he said, obviously, but by equating himself with Jack’s parents with the “Your mom thought you were worth it and so did Cas and so do I” line, he basically says that. That’s why I’m much more on board with Sam becoming a parent figure for Jack than Dean. (Also because Dean always gets to be a father figure and Sam never does, but I digress.) It just goes to show b*cklemming can pull off good emotional scenes when they actually put in effort. I’m thinking specifically the two scenes in “All in the Family” when Dean is asking Chuck why he left and the scene right after when Lucifer tells Amara she may defeat God but she will never be him.

The great Song of Solomon debate: So there’s a thing when you grow up in Sunday School where teachers tell you to open the Bible to the book of Psalms. It’s a big deal when you’re five, because it’s usually the first book in the Bible you can find on purpose – it’s right smack in the middle. But it’s close to Proverbs and Song of Solomon, so while you’re trying to find Pslams, you might first hit one of those other two. (You might also hit Ecclisiastes, but it’s like … two pages long, so probably not.)

All this is to just say I don’t think we should be reading too much into the fact Jack opened to Song of Solomon. Yes, it’s the sexy bit, but it’s also the bit little kids find when they just open the Bible to the middle, which is honestly how I took that scene. If you’re not flipping to a particular spot you’re just opening the Bible to look around like Jack was doing, you have a decent chance of landing on that book.

Also, when the camera pans back, it looks like he’s gone to the beginning to read Genesis.

I don’t know how to take the ending scene: There’s a scene in the first episode of Firefly that’s a lot like this one. If you’re not familiar with that show, it chronicles the adventures of a crew of space smugglers who are hiding fugitives on board their ship. In the scene, the captain, Mal Reynolds, tells one of the fugitives he can stay on board the ship and be their doctor. The fugitive, whose name is Simon, is skeptical because up until this point, Mal thought the fugitives were a danger to the rest of the crew (sound familiar?) and was either going to turn them over to the authorities or maroon them on a hostile planet. Simon asks Mal, “How do I know you won’t just kill me in my sleep?”

Mal says one of my favorite things ever said in a scene on TV: “You don’t know me, son, so I’m only going to say this once. If I ever kill you, you’ll know it, you’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed.”

What Dean said to Jack kind of reminds me of that, even though the contexts of the two scenes are different. If you need killing, I’m going to make sure these are the circumstances in which it happens. It’s almost noble. There’s this understanding and respect both for killing and the person you’re killing. It’s kind of like Ned Stark says: “A leader who hides behind executioners soon forgets what death is.”

That said … Dean’s anger is misdirected in such a profound way I’m not sure we can put him in the same class as Mal Reynolds or Ned Stark, at least in this scene. He spends the entire episode going out of his way to find things wrong with Jack so that his promise comes across much more as a threat than a comfort to a kid who is terrified of his own abilities.

It also doesn’t help that it’s his response to a suicide attempt – if that’s how we’re supposed to take what Jack did. On the one hand, Jack’s already pulled an angel blade out of his chest, so he knows he’s reasonably immune to most if not all weapons, so he probably knows normal blades aren’t going to kill him. On the other hand, stabbing himself multiple times like that speaks to a desperation and hopelessness that I don’t think you’re going to find in curious experimentation.

I really do like Donatello: I find it amusing that at the end of Season 12, Andrew Dabb opens up this portal to another world, setting the stage to where beloved characters long dead might return, and everyone was like, “Eileen! Charlie! Bobby! Kevin!” and other assorted characters b*cklemming has killed. (I guess they didn’t kill Bobby, but you know what I mean.) And in their first episode, they’re like, “lol, we’re not bringing back Charlie or Eileen, we killed those mutherfuckers, but here, have Donatello.”

That said, Donatello might be like … my second favorite thing b*cklemming’s ever done. I think he’s kind of goofy and Keith Szarabajka does a great job playing him. I did get frustrated with the number of times he referenced being an atheist in his first episode (I’m watching it now and he says it at least four times.) He didn’t do that in this episode, which I was strangely disappointed by, if for no other reason than it made my “Take a shot every time Donatello references being an atheist” post kind of dumb.

Also, Keith Szarabajka did a better job playing Asmodeus than Jeffrey Vincent Parise, as did the actress playing the bartender, though that could just be because neither of them put on the atrocious accent.

Other things: Thing 1: The “make hell great again” joke was only marginally funny the first time and not funny at all the second time. I swear I saw the actor pause and mentally gear himself up to say it. Poor guy.

Thing 2: Donatello: “That’s not Donatello!” Asmodeus-disguised-as-Donatello: (pointing at Donatello) “No, that’s not Donatello!” Me: “That’s not good TV!” B*cklemming: (pointing at Robert Berens’ episodes) “No, that’s not good TV!”

Thing 3: Dean was so fucking hot it was distracting.

Thing 4: Dean got two good fight scenes in a row, between the fight with Miriam last week and the fight with the demon this week. Also, did anyone notice, he had his legs wrapped about the demon’s head and then the demon threw him on the bed? I’m just saying.

Thing 5: All that aside, Dean was a giant super bitch this episode, even to Sam.

Thing 6: “What would Mr. Rogers do?” Guys, I love Donatello even if he is the Jar Jar Binks of this series.

Thing 7: “What are you doing here?” “That’s the question we all must ask, isn’t it?” “What are you doing in Wyoming?”

Thing 8: Jack is so proud of himself for walking through the door. It’s like last week when he was pleased he understood prepositions well enough to explain to Clark that he was on a chair on the floor on the planet Earth.

#supernatural spoilers #13x02 #jack kline-winchester #sam motherfucking winchester #dean winchester #donatello #donatello is the jar jar binks of supernatural but i love him anyway #dean is a giant super bitch #this is not bad for b*cklemming #i'm already gearing myself up for mary dying horribly in their next episode #how I learned to stop worrying and tolerate b*cklemming

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dreamydrarry · 7 years

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First off hi. *waves excitedly* Second, I have a question that have been on my mind that involves your fav HP? Why is Draco is your favorite character? Don't get me wrong, I love him. He's my favorite boy to the series, second to Harry. But I know you're a hardcore, ride or die Draco Malfoy defender. I'm curious on why. And has it been since the beginning of the series or close to the ending? And did the movies play a part in it?

okay, this answer’s gonna be a bit long…

i’ve always loved Draco.

usually, my love for characters that are viewed as “villains” or “bad guys” start because i just flat out tend to find those characters the most entertaining or interesting, over the regular protagonists. i don’t love “bad guys” just to be all rebellious or anything like that, i just really like them. for example, Jim Moriarty from Sherlock, Crowley from Supernatural, Norman Bates, the Joker from Batman, and more minor bad-guy types like Roman Godfrey from Hemlock Grove, Hyde on that 70s Show, Cook from Skins… the list goes on and on but i’d be here for days… and of course HP characters like Snape, Draco, Voldemort/Tom Riddle, and even Peeves. i love them. that’s how i started liking Draco at first, but naturally, when you love a character, you pay a lot more attention to them. so i started paying a lot of attention to everything Draco said and did, i loved his back story and stuff like that and i always thought about his point of view in situations where he’s normally seen as what a lot people find terrible, and i started loving him more than usual. it definitely wasn’t just because of Tom Felton playing him in the movies, (even though JKR unfairly blames him for that), but i’m also in love with Tom, so that’s kinda just a plus.

outside of the canon series, i love Draco more and more every time i read a new fic, or see blog posts of headcanons or edits and all of that. i mainly just think that Draco Malfoy is a very misunderstood character and i don’t think i’ll ever forgive the movies for cutting out some of his best moments and making all the people who don’t read the books see him as a bratty villain.

when it comes down to it, Draco Malfoy came from a very loving home with two great parents, and their family just happened to be at the top of the food chain when it comes to well-known wizard families. they were always protective, and sure, he was definitely spoiled, but they were also very strict with him when it came to grades and other responsibilities. Draco was used to getting everything he wanted, and only truly bullied Harry through the series because Harry was probably the first person to not take his shit. when he rejected his friendship, Draco pretty much decided to take it upon himself to hurt/embarrass/disappoint Harry more than Harry hurt/embarrassed/disappointed him in front of all the other students on their first day. not to mention the fact that this other boy constantly got attention 24/7 for being “the boy who lived” and constantly fighting off evil, while also beating him in quidditch on the side and having snarky comebacks to his own insults.

and on top of all that, Draco came from a line of purebloods who only hung out with other purebloods who all worshiped an asshole who promised purebloods immunity if they just stayed out of his way of (and occasionally helping him with) getting rid of muggles and halfbloods on the reg. his father hated the Weasley family, not because of their blood status, but because of differences in the workplace to put it in simple terms. and because they didn’t work together and see eye-to-eye, of course Lucius would tear the other family down when it came to money status.

because of all this, Draco grew up hearing his father talk shit about the Weasley family, (”red heads blah blah hand-me-down clothes blah blah populate like rabbits blah blah”) along with bad-mouthing “mudbloods,” (”why should we invite muggle-borns into our world and risk ruining everything just to teach them our ways of magic and lifestyle when they thrive perfectly fine in their dumb little magic-less world blah blah blah what if they expose us? blah blah blah if purebloods continue populating with mugle-borns, soon enough there wont be any more purebloods around! blah blah blah”)

so, growing up with rich, pureblood, snooty assholes and no one else to around to teach him right from wrong and show him that of course the world outside of purebloods isn’t that bad, it’s obvious that little 11-year-old Draco is going to meet a Weasley and a muggle-born Granger and automatically tear them down. you and i and everyone else knows it’s wrong, yes, but we grew up in an environment where we can sort out what’s right from wrong because we weren’t just stuck in some prejudice rich bitch bubble for the first 11 years of our lives. and it doesn’t help that the other Slytherins he hangs around with in the series laugh at and instigate Draco’s insults towards Harry and the other kids the same way. obviously we know not all Slytherins are like that though.

no one is born with hate in their hearts, it’s the way you’re raised.

but little by little, Draco changes. going to Hogwarts for all those years of his life and being around such a large group of diverse people who weren’t all just stuck in the same shiny bubble he grew up in changed him. regardless if he made friends with anyone outside of his Slytherin gang.

he made friends with Moaning Myrtle of all people, and cried alone with her in her bathroom on multiple occasions.

he was angry and pushed himself harder every time Hermione, the “mudblood” who was (in his mind) supposed to be on a lower level than he was by default, would score higher than him in classes.

he was scared sick and riddled with anxiety when he was tasked to help find a way for Death Eaters to get into Hogwarts, because he KNEW it was wrong. he could feel it in his gut. he LIED TO HIS FAMILY and said he didn’t recognize his ‘childhood nemesis’ Harry, when he so clearly knew it was him. he LIED to his FAMILY for HARRY even though he KNEW that there had to be some sort of punishments if they found out he was lying. because he knew Harry had a chance of changing the world and getting rid of the Dark Lord. he, himself, hated all of it and wanted it to end.

the poor kid couldn’t even bring himself to kill Dumbledore, the man that was Voldemort’s biggest obstacle at the time, even though he was alone with him with his wand pointed straight at him. and though he even got the permission from the man himself to go through with it and kill him, he couldn’t do it. he knew it was wrong, he knew he didn’t want to live in a world ran by Voldemort, so he couldn’t do it.

there are two outcomes before the final battle where the Malfoys call Draco over to their side. in the one used, Draco obeys and silently crosses over to join the side of Death Eaters and his parents. but in an extra cut from the last movie, Draco stands his ground and decides to stay on the side with his fellow classmates. the good side. and when it’s revealed that Harry is in fact alive, he even calls Harry’s name and throws him his own wand so that Harry wouldn’t be defenseless and could fight Voldemort. (i’ll ALWAYS be mad that they didn’t choose that ending. forever salty.)

and, whether you want to view it canon content or not, the Cursed Child had some great redeeming moments for Draco as well. such as admitting to Harry and his friends how he was always secretly jealous of their bond, showing how he was STILL against Voldemort in the “future” alternative where Voldemort is in power, and his all around strong love for Scorpius and Astoria.

(even though we all know i ship Drarry)

anyway, DRACO MALFOY IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER AND NO ONE CAN EVER EVER EVER CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THAT!!!!!

((this is so long, but tbh i didn’t even hit every single point. believe is or not this is my ‘long story short’ version hahaha but i hope this answers your question.))

#draco malfoy #harry potter #q&a #this is so long sorry

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silence-burns · 7 years

Text

Something Different //part1

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Slow-burn Crowley x asexual!reader. When Crowley notices you actually have a weak point, he becomes very interested in taking advantage of it. But not everything goes as he expected.

Word count: 1,621

[Masterlist] [Part 2]

A loud yawn almost broke your jaw. You rubbed your tired face that felt more like a mask, trying to wake up just a little bit more. Even though a fresh cup of coffee was an extremely tempting idea, you doubted you would survive one more. You were pretty sure that caffeine was flowing through your veins right now, after so many cups that you lost count.

It was a hard night. You and the Winchesters were wandering in the dark, trying to find out what was going on in a small city in the middle of nowhere. You hated this particular hunt. Nothing was going as it should be and since you arrived there, you have been attacked three times already in the span of a few days. But people were dying, so there was no chance of leaving it unsolved. To be honest, you didn’t even want to leave it be, you were a hunter after all – but you were exhausted after another sleepless night and another sleepless day when you had to interview more people. It was fair, actually. Dean had taken the guard before you, and Sam was supposed to watch over you two on the upcoming night. You still had no idea what was hunting people down in this city, but you were sure as hell that it was aware of your arrival. And it wasn’t happy.

You bit your lip slightly, just to keep your mind awake, but it took you only a few seconds to go back to your previous, barely alive, state. You were leaning on Dean’s Impala, watching the boys flirt with a middle-aged woman across the street. She must have known something she didn’t want to tell, because otherwise the boys wouldn’t be acting like this just for fun. Not in the middle of a hunt at least, you hoped. And damn on you if it wasn’t working.

“Hello, darling. Fresh and resplendent as always, I see,” a well-known voice erupted behind you. You could almost smell the sulfur. Or maybe it was overstrain.

“Yeah. Few more days like that and I may even visit you in Hell personally,” you muttered, not bothering to look back. You felt like every move was taking the tiny scraps of your energy that were left. You didn’t have many of them, so you surely weren’t in the mood for taking a risk.

“As much as I would love your visit, I am pretty sure it’s still too early for you,” Crowley said with a smirk, now standing on your left.

You gave him a tired look.

“But Dean-o said I will rest in a grave. It’s so tempting.”

Crowley laughed quietly at your poor attempt in joking, even though it was really bad. You have known each other for a while now, since you were working with the Winchesters and they had to use the demon’s help from time to time. You have known every sin and every move Crowley made even before you had actually met him – that was the boys’ way of protecting you from him and his charms. It was kind of cute of them, but they didn’t have to worry so much about you, to be honest. You were not a kid anymore. You understood how the world was working.

But even though Crowley was not a Saint, he was still playing by the rules and you respected this side of him, just like he respected your hunting skills. There were times when you had been a true pain in his ass, killing so many demons that he almost didn’t believe one person was able to make it. And yet, there you were, standing side by side.

“You feel alright?”

“I’ve been worse,” you shrugged. “But I’ll be back to my old self once we finish this mess. I wish we could do it soon.”

“I don’t have any information about this case, unfortunately.”

“Since when would you want to help us without begging?” you raised an eyebrow. “I thought the begging was the best part.”

“Oh, I still love it. I just do not enjoy seeing you in a state like this, it takes the fun out of your poor attempts in convincing me to do anything. Especially if you are driven to the limits because of some stupid monster.”

“And who’s saying that?” you asked sarcastically.

Crowley shot you a bright smile, obviously proud of himself for making you a little more alive.

“Maybe we could discuss this problem somewhere in private,” he offered slyly.

“Sure, ‘cause I obviously have so much free time right now. Who cares about people dying,” you dismissed his flirt. You weren’t even mad at him. He was Crowley. He flirted all the time, with literally everything that had two legs.

“I’m not saying about right now, but I’m always open for any...”

“Go there,” you pointed out to the other side of the street, where the Winchesters were working their magic.

Crowley frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“If you want to have fun, show the boys how they should charm the pretty lady, because I've been waiting for like half an hour and they still have no answers. Well, I mean, I’m pretty sure they have many answers, but none is useful for our case. And you may lose some steam by the way.”

The Demon blinked, taken by surprise.

“Darling, I’m pretty sure I sense something more than you are actually saying,” he stated carefully, watching you with concern. “If anything is wrong, you may tell me...”

“Sorry, Crowley,” you backed up, feeling guilty. He had nothing to do with your irritation and shouldn’t be blamed for it. “I’m just tired and everything makes me angry right now. I mean, just look at this woman – how can anyone be so stupid? Boys aren’t even trying, and she is still so tacky… And it’s gonna take some time before she says anything connected with the case.”

“Oh my, are you jealous?” Crowley gasped theatrically. “Is it Moose or Squirrel? Who should I hate even more?”

“Nah, stop it. I just can’t believe anyone can think like an animal. I mean, I’m used to it, but it still keeps me surprised every time people act like they have never heard about dignity.”

“It’s not that bad, everyone has their needs...”

“Crowley. She is drooling in front of them.”

“She is not...”

“Look closer. She just raised her skirt with the door frame, of course unintentionally.”

“...you may be on point a little bit.”

“Say that again, so I can record it.”

Crowley laughed quietly.

You yawned again. You had only slept in the Impala once and it left a not very comfortable feeling, but at this point, you were so tired you would fall asleep on the ground. You gazed longingly at the backseat, almost feeling the soft texture underneath your beaten up, exhausted body…

Crowley was observing you, but you were too lost in your thoughts to notice it. The two of you were neither friends nor enemies anymore (for which he was more than relieved, but would never admit). You were an interesting person and he kind of enjoyed working with you. You often had those little conversations, when things weren’t in so much rush and you had a short break before rushing into new problems.

He got to know a few things about you. Most of the time, you kept being hardy and determined as to what did you want to archive. There was hardly anything one could use against you. And now… You probably didn’t even think about your words, but Crowley was rarely forgetting anything. And now he had something that could be considered as your weak point. Of course, he still wasn’t sure what precisely caused it, but was more than willing to find out. In a world where people and monsters constantly had to fight each other, having an advantage over one of your biggest opponents was at a premium.

“I guess the boys have finally found the answers they were looking for,” Crowley stated casually, looking at the other side of the street. The Winchesters noticed him and visibly hastened their steps.

“You sure you don’t want to teach them how to take from people what they want faster?” you asked.

“I think I still have to learn a few things myself, love,” he said in an abnormally nice tone. He was radiating with happiness, just as if he won a billion dollars. Or maybe souls, who knows what demons preferred.

“Okay,” you shrugged.

Before the brothers came to you, Crowley was gone in the blink of an eye. They didn’t look very pleased.

“What did he want?” Dean asked worried.

“I don’t know. Maybe he was bored in Hell. Can we finally go to motel? I’m dying…”

“You could take a nap in the car.”

“I didn’t want to be mugged. I hate breaking fingers of muggers, they scream so loudly...”

“Right. Let’s go back, Rambo,” Sam laughed, patting you on a head. You may be smaller than him, but you could toss him to the ground any second.

You wanted to remind him of that, but another wide yawn stole your words and closed your eyes, and after you entered the car, you already forgot what you wanted to say. Thanks, Chuck, that nothing important happened that day and you could sleep through the better part of it, not bothered by any more problems.

#crowley x reader #crowley #crowley x you #crowley/reader #supernatural #crowley/you #crowleyxreader #crowleyxyou #crowley imagine #supernatural imagine #asexual!reader #crowley x asexual!reader #something different

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