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befuddled-calico-whump · 8 months

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Hand in Hand (part four)

@whumptober Alt. 10: Shaking + Alt. 06: Playing Cards

cw: aftermath of whump

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When they're done with Wes, when his body is limp and trembling, they unchain Dan and drag him out of the cell. He asks them to let him check on the unconscious man, in a voice hoarse from screaming for them to stop, but they ignore him. He knows they're taking him to Swift.

Dan doesn't realize how cold the cell is until he's taken out of it, the warmer air of the hallway easing some of the tension out of him, though it's not enough to make a difference. Even with the men supporting him on either side, walking is difficult. His head throbs, and his legs shake with every step, threatening to give out. He's gone longer without food, longer without sleep, taken harder hits, but the combination of the three is hell on his body. It's a miracle he's still on his feet.

Mercury Swift is sitting at a table when they reach her, a pack of playing cards in hand. She doesn't even glance up as the men push Dan into the chair across from her, not bothering to restrain him before leaving the room. He knows why. All the assurance they need that he won't try anything is back in the cell.

"Are you ready to tell me your terms?" he asks once they're alone, but Swift acts as if she didn't hear, idly shuffling the cards from hand to hand. The movement looks bizarre; Dan never took her for the type of person who likes having fun.

At last her hands are still, and her gaze slides across the table to land on him. The look in her eyes is one of appraisal. Is she taking in the fresh bruises? The way he's gripping the table to stay upright?

"Do you play rummy?" she asks.

"Some," he replies, easing his forearms onto the table and leaning heavily on them. Better support. Less swaying. "What happens if I lose?"

"I'm not a gambler, Mr. Melchior," she says with a heavy sigh. "I only wanted some company. Maybe a challenge, if you're any good."

He won't let himself believe her. It'll be so much worse if he goes in expecting mercy; better to brace himself for the worst outcome. But he isn't going to turn down the game either, not when the alternative is probably returning to the cell for another twenty-four hours. "Then let's play."

Dan takes deep breaths through his nose as she begins to deal the cards. His head feels like it's full of gravel, and the rest of him... well, the rest of him feels like it just took a beating. Still, he needs to try and stay sharp. He can't let the waiting game go on forever; he needs to figure out what she wants.

They play a few rounds in silence before he tries. His hands shake as he sorts his cards, and he isn't sure if it's nerves or exhaustion.

"If all you wanted was a partner for cards, you could've asked," Dan says, laying a three-of-a-kind onto the table.

"Mm. Isn't that what I just did?"

"Without torturing my friend," he adds, trying to make the accusation sound light. Friendly.

"You admit you're friends then?" She lays down a sequence of her own. "He isn't insignificant?"

Dan clenches his jaw, wincing as the movement spikes pain through his bruised cheek. "I know the stakes," he says, drawing a card. "I swear, I'll do what you want if you stop hurting him."

"Why, I haven't lain a finger on him."

"You give the orders. Or do you mean to imply you don't have control over your new army?"

Her eyes darken as she looks up from her cards. "Careful, Mr. Melchior, that's hardly polite."

"My apologies," Dan mutters, letting the silence draw out as she considers her next play. So far, even her responses have just been another way to toy with him. He needs to be more direct. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," she says.

"Nothing," he repeats. There's no way. Why keep him alive at all, if she wants nothing? Why force him to listen to Wes scream, if she wants nothing?

Swift finally lays out a sequence of cards. "What could you possibly give me?"

Dan makes his own play immediately. "You're the one who came to me," he says. It was months ago, but that changes nothing. Before that day, he'd never once heard the name Mercury Swift. He wishes that were still true. "You're the one who wanted to meet with me."

"And now I have what I want. My new army." She pulls apart the sequence he's played, adding it to her own.

"Then why am I still breathing?"

"Maybe I thought you'd entertain me."

No. No, that can't be it. He knows she's a schemer, she must have some bigger plan than breaking them both for her own amusement. She let Wes live, let Dan know he's alive. She wants his compliance with something.

"Maybe," he says. "But I think you need me. You need my image." That has to be it. Physically, he's only one man, hardly enough to make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Strategically, she can't trust him. But if she truly wants to take over the known universe, she'll need more than pure strength. She'll need support from those of a similar mindset.

"If the world sees me agreeing with your cause, willingly conceding leadership to you, don't you think they'll take you more seriously?" He's almost certain his hands are shaking from nerves now. He's holding his cards with both, digging his elbows into the table to try and keep Swift from noticing the tremors.

But she smiles at his words, not looking up from her own cards. "Now you're speaking reason."

Dan lets out a shaky breath. At least he's made some sort of progress. At least he's less in the dark, but he can't rest yet. "Alright," he says. "If that's what you want. I can play your loyal dog."

"Play?" Swift draws a card. "Hardly. I want you to become it. Convince me it's your true nature."

"I will," he says. He has to, doesn't he? "If you let my friend go."

When Swift lets out a short laugh, he knows she won't. He already knew it wouldn't be so simple, but he had to try.

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to take you at your word? A good leader ensures they can trust their underlings. A smart leader has collateral."

Dan clutches his cards tighter. "So he stays. Fine. But if you hurt him--"

"I will hurt him," Swift cuts him off. "Every time you step out of line, he will pay the price. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

He did. "Mercury--"

"It's your turn."

Dan lets his shoulders drop, leans heavier on the table. He plays one card, adding it onto an existing sequence. "Will you at least give me a show of good faith?" he says, his voice quiet.

"Good faith?"

He swallows. "Unchain him. Let him rest, give him food and water. Please. You have nothing to lose by treating him humanely." At this point, it's all he can hope for. He can wait. Play her game. He just needs to keep Wes alive until he can come up with a way to outsmart her.

"Hm. I'll think about it," she says, and lays down the last of her cards. "I suppose a dog is better controlled if the leash is maintained."

~ ~ ~

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast @kixngiggles @shywhumpauthor

#whumptober2023 #no.9 #no.10 #playing cards #shaking #altprompt #oc #fic #riotkingsau #angst #psychological whump #two for one cause im tired #im so bad at ending things sorry lol #aftermath of whump #<<this isn't the actual ending i just mean ending chapters #endings are hard

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jaskierswolf · 3 years

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My dearest darling Wolfie, I saw your idea for game gerlion friends to lovers in @thewitcherbog horny chat and I am here to ask you to write the fic. Pls 💜😘

Tada!! I can't remember if this was exactly what I had planned... but it's what we're getting. Lovingly beta'd by @comfyswitcherblanketfort.

CW: probably rated M? Briefly mentioned masturbation more horny than smutty.

____

A retirement at Corvo Bianco had never been what Geralt expected of his life. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told a young Dandelion that witcher’s never retire, but in recent years between looting caves and haggling for contracts, he’d managed to save quite a bit of coin. He was, objectively, rich. He had the best armour on the Continent, the most deadly swords and crossbow bolts, and thanks to B.B., his house was beautifully decorated, with the exception of the rather garish portrait of his most loyal friend. Yet, he was still gaining more money than he knew what to do with. He’d started investing in merchants and refusing payment but the vineyard brought in a steady income and Geralt had to admit that his life was pretty luxurious these days.

So it wasn’t exactly a surprise when Dandelion had turned up, in fine, brightly coloured silks and the elegantly decorated elven lute from so many years ago. Geralt sometimes wondered whether Toruviel had enchanted her lute. There was barely a scratch and Geralt couldn’t even recall Dandelion ever having to change the lute strings in all the years he’d known the bard. Geralt was no expert but he was pretty sure that you were supposed to change the lute strings.

The sun was shining over the fields of Corvo Bianco, and Geralt felt at peace. Perhaps that was why he was feeling so nostalgic, pondering over the events that had led him to this moment. His life had always been so busy, but with Ciri off touring the multiverse, and Yennefer doing whatever Yennefer did these days now the Djinn wish had been broken, he was… well… bored? He had every Gwent card currently made, and no one would play him. It was just him and the bard, living the bachelor’s life in Touissant.

So was it any wonder that Geralt had started to develop feelings for his friend? Perhaps they’d always been there, clouded by the wish that tied him to Yennefer, or perhaps their newfound domesticity had awoken something in Geralt that he had never expected. Dandelion spent a lot of time in the makeshift study, working on his latest book, but they always ate together and sometimes the bard would even accompany Geralt on his contracts in the fields, for old times sake. After long nights of drinking too much wine or vodka, it wasn’t unusual for the pair of them to fall asleep together, curled up in one bed just like they used to in their youth. Those were Geralt’s favourite nights, because despite his protests of being better alone, he enjoyed the familiar warmth of another body pressed against his, and Dandelion had always been a cuddler.

And as if on cue, the bard burst through the doors onto the patio where Geralt was watching the world go by.

“Ah, Geralt, old friend, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you!” Dandelion announced with a flick of his wrist. “I was just in town.”

“Dandelion,” Geralt groaned. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“Dear Henrietta will forgive me in time, my friend,” Dandelion winked, his tongue flicking out between his lips, “and until then I have plenty of friends who will offer me shelter if the guards are around.”

“You look like a man sized peacock,” Geralt scoffed. “How the hell does no one see you?”

“Ah, dear witcher, you forget that I used to be a spy,” Dandelion laughed, putting one hand on his hips. “Now, stop interrupting, Geralt, or do you not care about the gift I picked out for you in town today?”

Geralt hummed, knowing that it didn’t really matter whether he cared or not. Nothing would stop Dandelion once he was in the middle of a story. Some things just never changed. “Go on.”

Dandelion beamed, and from behind his back he produced a wooden box. The poet cocked his head as he opened the lid, revealing a set of tiny vials neatly lined up. Geralt almost choked, his breath catching in his throat.

“Oil?” he spluttered. A man such as Dandelion had to know of the more promiscuous uses of oil. Whilst Dandelion had never explicitly said as such, the way he talked of his lovers had always led Geralt to believe that he was rather flexible in his tastes, much like Geralt himself.

The poet blushed as he pulled a single vial from the box, his long lutist fingers wrapping around the glass. “Bath oils, Geralt.”

“Oh, of course,” Geralt cursed internally. Dandelion had bought all sorts of expensive oils and lotions when they had been on the path together, neither of them were shy with their bathing habits and the poet was a highly skilled masseur.

Which was not helping Geralt’s sudden rush of arousal as he remembered the feel of the poet’s hands on his skin. They’d laughed off awkward erections in the past, it was just a thing that happened… but Geralt was starting to wonder what would happen if, for once, they let it happen.

“This one will probably be a bit much for your witcher senses, my friend, but I rather like it,” Dandelion continued, oblivious to Geralt's inner turmoil. “This one,” another vial was plucked from the box, “however, I think you will like, and I managed to buy this,” Dandelion pulled a scroll from his pocket, “from a local mage. It’s supposed to move the water around the tub, like a massage!”

“And you’re telling me this, why?” Geralt sighed, rolling his eyes. As much as he adored his old friend, the man could take his sweet time getting to the point. It was even worse when the poet and Regis got together, Geralt honestly thought he might never know peace again.

“Because, Geralt, I am treating my dearest friend to an extravagant bath time experience!” Dandelion exclaimed with wide arms, almost knocking off his own hat in his enthusiasm. “Friendship and love, art and wine, Geralt. What more could you want in life?”

Love.

No, friendship. Geralt needed to focus on that. How many times had Dandelion called him his friend? Too many to count.

“Assuming you have wine, what’s the art?” Geralt smirked, enjoying the offended noises Dandelion made.

“Geralt, I’ll have you know that-”

“Relax, Dandelion. I’m teasing. So how about this bath then?”

The two men made their way upstairs, peeling off their outer clothes as they strolled past Geralt’s bedroom, and picking up a robe each. Dandelion had filled the room with candles, and there was a soft floral scent hanging in the air, roses, the oil vial that Dandelion had initially held up.

“I thought this one was too much for my ‘witcher senses’?” Geralt scoffed, peering at the magically bubbling water.

“Well, yes, but I did also say I liked this one, and I’ll admit that I got a little carried away. You don’t mind, do you Geralt?”

Geralt shook his head as he stripped off his final layer of clothing and settled into the tub. Dandelion sat in a chair, still wrapped in his robe, and picked up his lute. He plucked idly at the strings until he was seemingly happy that they were in tune, and then he began to sing. Geralt sighed as he sank deeper into the hot water, the enchantment really did feel like a sort of massage as jets of water pulsed against his skin, but he couldn’t help but wonder. The oils, the candles, the romantic ballad…

Was his friend trying to tell him something?

It was time for Geralt to test the waters as it was. He trod the water with his hand, gently splashing to the beat of Dandelion’s song. Normally, he would close his eyes and let the poet’s music fill the room, but instead he was mesmerised by the way Dandelion’s finger caressed the lute strings. Geralt could feel his cock harden as he pondered what other uses his friend’s delicate hands could have, the way they found their mark with such precision. The poet could make any instrument sing to the gods in his hands, Geralt was sure that he was no exception.

“Practicing your fingering?” he asked Dandelion with a tilt of his head.

The strings twanged unpleasantly, making Geralt grimace as the sound reverberated in his head. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Geralt smirked. “On your lute.”

“Right, yes, of course,” Dandelion muttered. “I’m just trying to figure out the next verse. I could use a hand, or an ear if you’d be willing to help.”

“I have a hand you could use, or two,” Geralt muttered not really intending for Dandelion to hear him but the poet had sharp ears and he spluttered incoherently as he set down his lute.

Geralt hummed and let his hand drop beneath the water, stroking his cock lazily. He wasn’t really chasing any real pleasure, but it was a good feeling, sending warmth across his skin. The bath, the candles, the song, they had to mean something even in Dandelion’s subconsciousness. The man was an insatiable flirt, and yet never seemed to notice when others’ affections were cast upon him, not unless it was blunt in its honesty.

So Geralt would be blunt.

He closed his eyes as he continued to stroke the length of his cock, the motion causing the water to ripple slightly, but not yet enough to draw Dandelion’s attention. The poet was too busy wittering on about his rhymes, only noticing when Geralt’s breath hitched as he cupped his balls.

“Geralt?”

“Dandelion,” Geralt grunted softly, his pleasure beginning to build from a warm ember to a roaring blaze that burned through him. The poet’s cornflower blue eyes were on him, dark and hungry. His cheeks were flushed rosy, and it seemed his dear friend was finally catching onto what was happening.

“I- I can leave, my friend, if you would prefer…”

“Stay,” Geralt insisted. “This not what you had in mind?”

“Well,” Dandelion laughed. “I had hoped, but I never thought it would actually happen, and well, really I thought it might take a little more convincing. Who knew all I needed all along were a few cheap candles?”

“Just get in the bath, Dandelion,” Geralt growled.

“Okay, okay,” Dandelion said with a roll of his eyes but shrugged out of his robe, allowing Geralt to admire his slender form. The poet’s cock remained soft as he stepped into the water. “So… how long?”

“Hmm?”

“How long have I been more than just a friend to you, Geralt?” Dandelion asked, settling into the water with a soft moan. His hands resting on Geralt’s thighs, fingers drawing patterns on Geralt’s skin under the water.

It wasn’t an easy question to answer. Could he even pin it down? Geralt wasn’t sure.

“Hard to tell, our friendship has never exactly been normal, Dandelion,” Geralt admitted.

Dandelion laughed, leaning forward in the tub, his hands stroking up Geralt’s thigh, the movement forcing the air from Geralt’s lungs. “You know, you’re right, and I think we should celebrate.”

“Celebrate?”

“Mhmm, and how about we start with a kiss?” Dandelion winked, before falling into Geralt embrace with a splash.

#the witcher #geraskier #gerlion #the witcher 3 #tw3 #geralt of rivia #dandelion #geralt x dandelion #wolfie's witcher writing

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palmett-hoes · 3 years

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Do you have any fan casts or strong takes/feelings on the foxes’ appearances? Fandom tends to use the same Pinterest models, which feels wrong to me.

i do in fact! i've actually been meaning to make a post about how i choose to write all of the foxes' ethnicities anyway

but yes i absolutely agree that the typical pinterest model types u generally see on edits is not how i see any of them. nor is reece king or froy gutierrez or lucky blue smith one of my FCs for anyone

for a lot of them i don't necessarily have a single specific FC so much as i have like,, a general impression of features that i will see on various different people, who all may look wildly different from each other or who may not even look how i see the character as a whole but do have a specific feature i associate with them. mostly it boils down to the Energy i get tbh and that's just a Feeling i cant even explain

fun fact im a tiny bit face blind so that might account for some of why i'm so all-over about this

may as well go chronologically. some of them i definitely have more thoughts on than others

1. Dan

ethnicity: Afro Native (Sioux)

features: medium dark skin. buzzcut, killer fade. she often styles it in waves. she's very butch, wears a lot of basketball and cargo shorts, tank tops and flannels and jerseys, hiking boots. skinny but muscular, with a very rectangular body shape. defined jaw. probably like 5'4 or 5'5

FC/Energy: sometimes i get some dan energy out of janelle monae but more butch. lotta dan energy out of samira wiley. lashana lynch

2. Kevin

ethnicity: a lot of things tbd, but he's pretty multi-ethnic. i like the idea of kayleigh being half- or a quarter-japanese in addition to irish because it gives her more of a reason to go to japan for her undergrad. wymack is from d.c. which is a majority black city for its actual residents, but i also like the idea of him being Pasifika/Hawaiian. HOWEVER - and this is pretty important to my read of kevin's character - he's white passing, and has been mostly treated as a white guy who tans his whole life, like occasionally asked if he's italian maybe. learning that his father was a Distinctly Not White Man was a big shock to him.

kristin kreuk, lindsay price, phoebe cates, and marie digby are all half-asian actresses i base kayleigh on

i suppose i base his story partially on broadway actress carol channing, who revealed publically that she was a quarter black when she was like 80 years old. though maybe wentworth miller, a biracial actor who knows his father is black but also doesn't know him, is more accurate to kevin's story. then keanu reeves is a white passing actor with asian ancestry

also none of these people look anything like how i picture kevin lol. kevin is just like,, a guy. handsome ig. but kind of in a CW character kind of way

actually

kevin looks exactly like young jason momoa

3. Andrew

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

features: fat and muscular, very wide and heavy. this blog is basically all andrew body type refs. medium-olive skin, has a bit of a greyish tinge that makes him look a bit eerie or unhealthy. deep set, droopy eyes; looks so tired. flat face with a low-bridged nose. crooked teeth, especially his canines. natural hair black-ish but he bleaches it light blond. has the beginnings of martial artist punching callouses in his knuckles

FC/Energy: holy shit the characters i feel have Andrew Energy are all over the place. pedro pascal. babe ruth (yes fr). oddjob (harold sakata) from goldfinger. the jinn (mousa kraish) from american gods. gaear grimsrud (peter stormare) from fargo. takeshi kovacs (joel kinnaman) from altered carbon. and i wanna be clear, it's these characters specifically, and generally NOT the actors outside of that specific role. except pedro ❤️

4. Matt

ethnicity: cuban

appearance: matt has more of an Energy than specific features to me rn. that energy is Warm. he has that Warm bro jock dude energy. kind of a marvel hero build, hunky and muscular. very rectangular face. has this haircut:

5. Aaron

i get to cut myself some slack and not go AS in depth about aaron because he and andrew are identical twins

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

appearance: similar build to andrew, less confident and casual posture and body language. less apathetically murderous and more emotive expressions. better teeth bc his mom took him to the dentist. yes also bleaches his hair

celebrities: probably a lot like the difference between the characters and the actors. andrew is the characters and aaron is how the actors actually look. idk ive never looked at someone and thought 'hey! looks like aaron!'

6. Seth

ethnicity: have been going with half-vietnamese. considering looking into various south asian possibilities like pakistani

appearance: string bean build. that's all i have to offer

7. Allison

ethnicity: allison's very up in the air for me. she and seth are the two foxes i feel fine with being white, but im committing to having no white foxes sooo. i would say i generally see her as either half-middle eastern or chinese

appearance: plus sized and hourglass shaped. heart shaped face. taller, like 5'8 or 5'9. she has a pretty fraught history with her appearance and her parents payed for/pressured her into getting a nose job to have a 'prettier' nose. she also bleaches her hair blonde. she gets it done at a salon tho the twinyards do it in their bathroom

FC/Energy: elle king and nadia aboulhosn are my main inspos for her, esp body type but nadia esp in Vibes

8. Nicky

ethnicity: multi-ethnic. his mother is southern mexican Indigenous, possibly oaxacan. his father is mixed white/kayin

appearance: definitely takes after his mother while his father is white passing. dark brown skin, warm undertones. slightly stocky build. tall ovular head and thin aquiline nose. he's kind of just,, the opposite of the twins ig, so like their facial features look very different, which is a big part of why people don't make the connection between him and the twins alongside the difference in their skin tones, heights, and builds. nicky's build and features are very vertically-oriented, with a tall head, narrow-set eyes, thin nose with a high bridge, etc. the twins are horizontally-orienged, with broad, flat faces, wide-set eyes, wide noses with a low bridge, etc.

FC/Energy: yalitza aparicio, not a guy but one of the few Mexican Indigenous stars in the film industry and i really like her features for nicky. she's oaxacan

9. Renee

ethnicity: Black. african american

appearance: plus sized, circular/apple body shape. round face. dark skin. microlocs to a bit past her chin, bleached white and dyed at the ends. she and allison go to the salon together. femme but plain style, a lot of blouses and long skirts, practical shoes. knuckle callouses. about 5'6

FC/Energy: dominique fishback. tracie thoms, esp in RENT. gabourey sidibe. nicole byer, but not in Energy. brandy, for some reason, probably bc i think she has very serene Energy and is a little bit otherworldly. like if brandy played arwen or galadriel from lotr it would make perfect sense to me, and that's the Renee Energy™️

10. Neil

ethnicity: mixed. Black/Jewish on both sides. his father is polish ashkenazi and afro-brazilian. his mother is Black British and algerian jewish

appearance: very... sharp. like sharp all over. does that make sense? sharp features, sharp face shape, sharp angles to his body. he's got what i vaguely think of as a 'basketball build' not meaning tall but meaning very rangy and angular and lean. all limbs. seth has a similar build. lighter brown skin. he has waardenburg syndrome which is actually where he gets he gets his eye color, and his eyes are very large and widely spaced as well. freckles freckles freckles. freckles everywhere. 4a hair but at least during canon it's not very healthy and thus the curls aren't well-defined. he grows it out long enough to tie back and starts taking better care of it in post-canon. wonky, slightly crooked teeth, with a gap between the fronts

FC/Energy: now neil i actually have a ton for. mostly models which im a lil ashamed of bc i do try to draw more from athletes. alton mason is a main body type ref. mugsy bogues is good to see what i mean about the basketball build without the height. here're the boys: cykeem white, luka sabbat, désiré mia, Leo Hoyte-Egan, dylan hasselbaink, this beautiful stock photo model i've never been able to track down

i think about him every. goddamn. day.

in terms of like,, real ppl and not models: corbin bleu, especially during Jump In. figure skater elladj balde. rayan "ray ray" lopez from mindless behavior. A$AP Rocky a lil bit, maybe i just like his hairstyle idk

two more models i think are important: carissa pinkston and ralph souffrant

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spamzineglasgow · 4 years

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(HOT TAKE) Quarantine Phenomenology: The Curious Case of Daddy Conte, by Denise Bonetti

‘Teenage by design’? SPAM founder and editor-in-chief Denise Bonetti, tapping into her Italian roots, takes us on a whirlwind journey around the lustful theme park that is meme space in the time of quarantine. For many, especially those who aren’t on the frontline as key workers, self-isolation is thrusting us back into a rude adolescence. Having exhausted our usual channels of recursive entertainment, where better to look than to the political (yes, wybi?!) heroes of meatspace to fantasise the intimacies and reassurances we’re otherwise deprived of.

(CW: sexually explicit references)

> Comedian Dan Sebree tweeted that this whole quarantine situation is the closest any of us millennials will get to retirement. The joke is funny because it’s most likely true: the idea of people in my age bracket (mid-20s to mid-30s) ever retiring seems like a fairytale we tell ourselves to keep our boomer parents happy, something we play along to because frankly it’s easier than sharing the extent of our doubts in the future. (Find someone in their 20s who can say ‘when we all retire’ without a shred of irony).

> Sebree is right, most of us are playing retirees now. 80% of your salary to repot your plants, make sourdough, and fend off waves of existential dread here and there: not too shabby - if you used to have a stable job, that is. Things obviously aren’t so chill for quite literally everyone else: NHS workers, shopkeepers, supermarket employees, people on zero-hour contracts (which make up around 9% of all the UK workforce under 25), gig economy workers, freelancers by choice, people whose employers can’t be bothered putting them on payroll, and have therefore decided for them that they’ll have to be freelancers - the list goes on.

> Yet beyond the retirement vibes, there is a stage of life that seems even more appropriate to represent the mood that this pandemic isolation has been creating. We are feeling manic and depressive, anxious and idyllic, bored and obsessive; we have been dying our hair and we’re allowing social media challenges and email chains to make a comeback ( 😩). We’re raging that we’re being told how & when we can go out, and we want to see our friends like our life depended on it. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but we’ve all gone back to being teenagers. (For some of us, the transformation is even more literal: everyone who’s had to move back to their parents tag yourselves.)

> In ‘Glitching the Collective Mind’ a three-part essay published on SPAM a few months ago, Dan Power noted how ‘spending too long online (or rather, too long outside of the real world)’ can easily give way to ‘feelings of melancholic or manic absurdity’ by way of ‘saturating the mind’ with the infinite possibilities of content. In the same essay, Power reflects on the nature of the virtual space this content is localised in, what Grafton Tanner has called the ‘virtual plaza’: a non-place through which ‘we drift and consume, lulled by the saccharine tones of muzak’. Power argues that what the ‘non-local’, ‘homogenized’ structure of the virtual plaza takes away is precisely that something around which the occupants can build a sense of identity: ‘When the features which distinguish one place from another are removed, stable sense of belonging and understanding are removed with them’.

> Although Power could not have predicted this current weirdness, I am interested in his linking the internet’s hypertrophic, endless-scroll format, eradicated from any sense of place as we know it, to its capacity both to strip us of our identity, and to reduce us to a melancholic, manic mess - a passive, wide-awake anonymous content-consumer, lying in bed between waves of anxiety. A teenager who is grappling with their identity because they’re not quite sure where their emotions are coming from - literally and metaphorically.

> Critic Amanda Hess has recently written in The New York Times about the comfort of playing childhood video games during the lockdown. ‘It’s not so much that I miss my childhood’, she writes as she becomes re-obsessed with her 11-year-old self’s favourite game, Myst, ‘as that I feel seized by it’. And I, currently taking a break from a 12-hour The Sims 2 Bon Voyage build-mode marathon to write this, can only confirm such claims.

> I’m sure the fact that we gravitate towards this simple kind of pastime has a lot to do with the fact that no one can be arsed engaging with highbrow content during such traumatic times. (Let me take a break from following the dead count on BBC News by watching Battleship Potemkin, said no one ever.) However it’s not only that we’re drawn to accessible content, it’s that we are drawn exactly to the kind of activities that our teenage selves used to be into. (Otherwise, explain why The Sims 2 is having a resurgence - sixteen years after its release [!], and not either of its two successors.)

> If nostalgia is generally understood as originating more in the disappointments of reality than in the draw of the object of nostalgia itself, then the grimness of the pandemic is also to blame for the current millennial vintage trends. As Hess observed elsewhere, the quarantine has forced us into lockdown with the very devices designed to amplify our obsessions, cranking up that very fixative impulse that makes adolescence the curse and blessing that we all know.

> In Italy, where the full lockdown has been going on for over 5 weeks now, the signs of this 30-going-13 epidemic are in full swing. Everybody knows about Italians competing with each other on who can sing the cringiest medley of 00s songs from their balconies. But there’s something even more beautiful that the Italians are doing, and The Answer May Shock You. Platonic love has infiltrated every corner of Italian social media, and the object, I tell you, is no one other the prime minister Giuseppe Conte.

> Just like teenage love, the obsession is platonic socially-distant just as much as it is carnal. ‘Giuseppe Conte’ has reportedly been amongst the most searched terms on Pornhub over the last few weeks. Spurred by sheer investigative rigour I decided to carry out further research on the platform, and can confirm that the PM-themed content abounds. The material itself varies from adorably chaste, SFW picture montages of the prime minister (‘ITALIAN PRIME MINISTER GIUSEPPE CONTE MAKE YOU CUM HARD’, as uploaded by user TheMinisterOfLove), to the literal hour-long speeches that the PM has delivered to the senate, to more visually explicit heart-reacts to the government’s directives (‘HUGE CUMSHOT WHILE LISTENING DADDY GIUSEPPE CONTE’).

> Pornography aside, the memes have taken over the Italian gram and Twitter. It all started when influencer and entrepreneur Chiara Ferragni regrammed to her 19.5m followers a post by the Instagram page @daddy.conte back in March, erroneously crediting it to @lebimbedigiuseppeconte (Giuseppe Conte’s Little Girls) - now two of the most popular hormone city pages dedicated to the PM. The content is genuinely too much and too good for me to present exhaustively, but I need to show you some favourites so you can get with the vibe (all from @daddy.conte):

[‘Italian daddy locks his girls home’]

[’From today, I declare your smile illegal’]

[’There’s a smile underneath that face mask’]

[’hey baby’ / ‘daddy come to me, my parents aren’t home’ / ‘WHAT’]

[’don’t you dare get close to my girls’]

[’who wants a goodnight story?’]

[’Hi gorgeous, if you’re reading this it’s because i’ve been trapped in a wormhole the only way for you to free me is to stay home until 4th April please do it there is no time i know you can save me baby’] [lol at how quickly this has aged]

>The spinoffs quickly proliferated, I’m talking dozens and dozens of pages devoted to the PM’s fatherly aura and classic good looks - most of them with not a huge amount of followers; a sort of decentralised, massively participatory network of adolescent erotic surplus. Some of these pages specialise in things like the PM’s smile or dimples (for the more faint of heart), inscribing the phenomenon in that Renaissance love lyric convention of praising the object of love’s beauty through a catalogue of their body parts.

>A similar sexy/cute type veneration also seems to have developed radially around other Italian political figures such as President Sergio Mattarella, however predicated on a completely different set of desirable traits. Conte’s cult is all about a sort of sub/authoritarian kink power dynamic: ‘Dom daddy tell me what to do’. (Problematic? Potentially. However, wholesome? Absolutely). Mattarella’s cult is inevitably linked to the Italian President’s political function, that of protecting the Constitution, coordinating the three branches of government while heading none. A sort of hands-off grandaddy figure there to break up fights, if you will. Combined with his sweet mannerisms, the result is more of a GILF, sitting-together-on-the-porch kind of desirability, as hinted at by the following meme: (@lebimbedisergiomattarella)

> As a testament to this systematic linkage between quarantine and teenage emotional turmoil, the same dynamic of desire has also developed around political figures in the US. Foremost examples are New York Governor Andrew Cuomo (who we now think might have nipple piercings), and Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear - a ‘clean-cut sex symbol for the coronavirus age’ according to this Salon article explaining how ‘his calm and empathetic leadership’ (read: wholesome daddy energy) have thousands of thirsty people in self-isolation lust after him (via memes, of course).

> The ethos of memes in general is already teenage by design (hypertrophic, impulsive, obsessive, thriving on a sort of possessed desire towards repetition that I refuse to compare to masturbation). But there’s something special about the dreamy, sublimated, Platonic, cute-aggressive nature of these memes in particular that makes them the epitome not only of #quarantinevibes, but also of the virtual plaza’s mood, more broadly. Quarantine has exposed and legitimised, exacerbated and normalised, the internet’s power to make us regress into horny, anxious blobs. And memes like these are the very crystallisation of that ambivalent process.

> Analysis aside, we love a meme (always already), and we love a femme fandom moment. We stan the birth of a wholesome masculinity mythology for 2020. I can think of worse Internet Utopias. Now back 2 The Sims.

Text: Denise Bonetti

Lead Image credit: @onlyconte (Instagram)

Published: 17/4/20

#essay #essays #Denise Bonetti #masculinity #memes #meme #Giuseppe Conte #Italy #sexy #quarantine #coronavirus #hot take

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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How Wizards: Tales of Arcadia Finishes What Trollhunters Started

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In the nearly four years since Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia debuted on Netflix, the animated series created by Guillermo del Toro, and produced by Dreamworks, has introduced viewers to Arcadia Oaks, reluctant heroes, and a society of trolls over the course of three seasons. Then, the adventures continued with two seasons of 3Below, featuring humanoid aliens who crash land on earth whilst escaping a civil war. Now, the final chapter of the Tales of Arcadia franchise, Wizards, debuts on August 7 with a time-traveling fantasy epic that spans Camelot and the suburbs.

In addition to introducing new characters, and re-introducing previous ones, Wizards also seeks to pull the threads together of the entire trilogy, and fill in the blanks on events only previously referenced.

Set immediately following the events of 3Below’s second season, Wizards picks up with Merlin’s apprentice Douxie (voiced by Colin O’Donoghue), and a magical war across time which involves Arthurian characters Merlin and Morgana (David Bradley, and Lena Headey); Trollhunters characters Jim (Emile Hirsch), Claire (Lexi Medrano), Toby (Charlie Saxton), and Steve (Steven Yeun); trolls Blinky (Kelsey Grammer), Aaarrrgghh!!! (Fred Tatasciore), Dictatious (Mark Hamill), and Gunmar (Clancy Brown); as well as Akiridion-5 alien Krel (Diego Luna).

With the 10-episode season of Wizards, Tales of Arcadia, completes its marathon with 88 installments of a family entertainment series featuring a cast of celebrity voice talent, surprisingly sophisticated humor, and arcs that mature alongside younger viewers as the stories progress.

It likewise marks another achievement for Marc Guggenheim, who serves as an executive producer, as well as showrunner, of Tales of Arcadia. Similarly known for his work on The CW’s Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow, and Supergirl, he is not new to complex world-building, and potentially confusing interconnected plotlines. In the following interview, Guggenheim discusses how the final chapter of the franchise fits together while also standing alone as a piece of storytelling, as well as the show’s approach to time travel, and if the conclusion is really “The End.”

Den of Geek: What is the challenge of setting up this spinoff that also serves as a conclusion to a trilogy spanning different genres?

Marc Guggenheim: It’s an interesting challenge because, on the one hand, you’ve got a spinoff of Trollhunters, and my philosophy with spinoffs is they should always sort of function as their own show. They should have their own identity, and they should stand on their own feet. On the other hand, though, this is not just a spinoff. This is the third and final chapter of a trilogy. The show kind of needs to function as two things simultaneously.

But a big component of Wizards also involves Jim from Trollhunters…

The biggest story thread we sort owed was a payoff to Jim’s journey because he essentially ended Trollhunters having become a troll himself, and basically walking off into the sunset as the trolls go off to search for a new Heartstone. Seeing what has become of Jim, even just revealing what happened after those final moments of Trollhunters, was very important to us to help bring the whole trilogy full circle. Similarly, Guillermo had the great idea to actually not do a prequel, but return our characters to the period of time before Trollhunters that tells the stories we’d only alluded to, and referenced in — namely the invention of the Trollhunter amulet, the rise of Deya the Deliverer, the Battle of Killahead Bridge. These are things we’ve only glimpsed. There was something very elegant about that idea because we had to go to the beginning in order to get to the ending. And I kind of liked the symmetry.

You’re no stranger to time travel with your work, but how do the rules of Legends of Tomorrow compare to Wizards?

It’s funny you mention Legends. We did have an episode in the second season where we went back to Arthurian times, and played around with that. There are a million different TV shows, and movies, and novels, and short stories about time travel, and one of the fun things about writing about that subject is the rules operate very differently. The rules in Back to the Future operate very differently from the rules in, say, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. With Legends, we made the decision very early on if you were watching the show for the rules of time travel, you were going to be sorely disappointed. We kind of threw the rule book out.

With Wizards, we kind of take the opposite approach. We are making part of the drama the difficulties of time travel; namely it’s very easy to screw up the future if you don’t know what you’re doing. And we have some characters in Wizards who could safely be described as not quite knowing what they’re doing. So, we definitely wanted to show the consequences, and also live with the stakes of what happens if you make a change to the past you did not intend.

The show has subverted expectations by allowing characters to grow, or evolve. Steve begins as a bully, and now he’s a good guy. And within the Arthurian legend, the king is not necessarily the king you might expect him to be. Has that subversion been cooked in since the beginning of Trollhunters?

From the beginning with Trollhunters, me and Guillermo, and Kevin and Dan Hageman, we always felt like we were telling a very classic Campbellian hero’s journey. When you are doing that, the only way to make it feel fresh and original is to, as you say, subvert expectations. I think it’s Gertrude Stein who said tell the truth, but tell it slant. That’s been our governing philosophy, which is we’re going to tell you this familiar story, but we’re going to do it in a way a little off center, a little off kilter from what you’re used to.

This final chapter also feels more intense, more mature, and at times a little scary. Was this decision based on the notion that your audience has grown up a little with this franchise?

You’re right on the money. From Guillermo’s very first pitch to Jeffrey Katzenberg, when Jeffrey asked for an additional two shows and basically asked for trilogy, Guillermo said he wanted the humor of 3Below to be a little bit more sophisticated, make it a little bit more adolescent because the kids, our audience from Trollhunters, is growing older. And then he wanted the tone and the vibe of Wizards to be darker and a little scarier, again, because our audience is growing older. So there was a real intentional evolution in terms of tone. 3Below isn’t scarier than Trollhunters, but its humor is definitely more sophisticated. Wizards is much darker than 3Below.

We meet these new villains, The Arcane Order, which are visually compelling sorcerers. Can you talk about their design?

Thank you for calling that out, specifically, because those are among my favorite designs of the entire trilogy. I think it’s the result of a really fantastic mind meld between the designers and Guillermo. Guillermo was very specific about what he wanted to see with these three characters, and it’s always a privilege to watch his design notes sessions with the designers. They would print out the designs on these big sheets of paper, and Guillermo would actually draw on them. Guillermo’s a very good artist as a lot of people know, down to these really minute, small details that make big changes. And the designers were, I think, particularly inspiring. I can’t draw a stick figure, so I’m very impressed by the work they’ve done.

Is this really the last we’ll see from these characters?

If I were to comment on the end of Tales of Arcadia, it would mean the end of me. Dreamworks and Netflix have paid assassins on retainer, and I hear they’re very good shots.

Tales of Arcadia: Wizards premieres on August 7 on Netflix.

The post How Wizards: Tales of Arcadia Finishes What Trollhunters Started appeared first on Den of Geek.

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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Here’s why The CW’s ‘Riverdale’ isn’t just ‘Dark Archie’

Pictured (L-R): KJ Apa as Archie, Camila Mendes as Veronica and Lili Reinhart as Betty in ‘Riverdale’

Image: Katie Yu/The CW

When Luke Perry was growing up in small town Ohio, sharing a tiny bedroom in a trailer with his brother, he took sanctuary with a stack of comic books piled high in his closet. Hed pull issues from his stash and read them diligently by flashlight, and amid the many superheroes and sci-fi epics there was another favorite a staple of the medium since debuting in 1941: the quaint, relatable, all-American adventures of teenager Archie Andrews and his high school pals, rivals and crushes, set in the idyllic town of Riverdale, U.S.A.

Today, Perry no stranger to series centered around iconic locales, thanks to his stint on Beverly Hills 90210 is among the cast of Riverdale, The CWs ambitious and decidedly edgier take on the 75-year-old comic book series.

Veering away from the wholesome vibe that many associate with classic Archie, the drama adds a Twin Peaks-inspired aura of mystery, danger and controversy to the small town proceedings.

For instance, in the pilot episode, our redheaded, freckle-faced hero, played by New Zealander K.J. Apa, indulges in a steamy backseat tryst with his teacher Miss Grundy reimagined from the comics silver-haired spinster into the much younger, more curvaceous form of actress Sarah Habel. Not only that the site of their forbidden dalliance soon puts them in uncomfortable proximity to the season’s unfolding murder mystery.

I was the biggest skeptic, Perry admits to Mashable of the more adult take on the Archie gang. I said, Im the guy youve got to convince. I grew up reading Archie I am that guy. So show me what is different about this. And they did.

KJ Apa as Archie and Luke Perry as Fred

Image: Diyah Pera/The CW

“They” are the production team led by writer-producer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, an accomplished playwright and veteran scripter of popular television series including Glee and Big Love, whos also enjoyed an acclaimed second career in the comic book industry.

A stint at Marvel Comics writing top-tier characters including the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man ultimately led Aguirre-Sacasa to an opportunity to write the 2013 comic book miniseries Afterlife with Archie. The endeavor represented a bold step for publisher Archie Comics in which the company combined their longtime characters with a zombie apocalypse narrative drawn by emerging fan-favorite artist Franco Francavilla.

It is a five-year-old Robertos dream come true, Aguirre-Sacasa tells Mashable. Ive always loved the characters. I read them from when I was a kid.

Like Perry, the writer was among a second generation of Archie devotees that discovered the now-iconic characters Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica and Reggie, as well as spin-off headliners like Josie and the Pussycats and Sabrina the Teenage Witch over a quarter century after they first debuted.

Ashleigh Murray as Josie

Image: Katie Yu/The CW

In 1941 a few years after rival publisher DC Comics had launched the superhero genre with Superman MLJ Comics had been riding that pop culture wave with their own powered-up characters, including the patriotic, pre-Captain America hero The Shield.

But publisher John L. Goldwater was looking for a new comic book genre that would feel fresh yet familiar. Hoping to capitalize on the popularity of the wholesome, funny, relatable teen antics of MGMs Andy Hardy screen franchise, starring a young Mickey Rooney, he gave over a six-page portion of the twenty-second issue of an established title, Pep Comics, to the earliest incarnation of the Archie gang.

Though not even mentioned on the cover of its debut issue, the Archie feature, originally written by Vic Bloome and drawn by Bob Montana, was quickly established as the hottest and much imitated new genre in comics, so popular that within a few years MLJ formally changed the books name to Archie Comics, and Archie himself appeared on every cover from 1944 onward.

Over the decades, circulation soared to nearly 300,000 copies, and Archie-mania was born: Several of the ever-expanding Archie-verse characters headlined their own solo series; Dan DeCarlo, who moonlighted drawing sultry pin-up girls for pulp magazines, became the definitive Archie artist and developed the signature look of the comic; The Archies, a prefabricated pop group of anonymous studio musicians (packaged as Archies garage band) scored an enduringly popular hit song in 1969 with Sugar, Sugar; past issues were collected in conveniently miniature digests; progressive new minority characters were introduced into white-bread Riverdale; and the characters became widely commercialized, appearing on TV shirts, lunchboxes, Saturday morning cartoons and a hit primetime sitcom starring Melissa Joan Hart as Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Although the Archie lines mainstream appeal would gradually wane to cult status among comics fans in the 1990s and 2000s, the characters would endure as iconic figures to multiple generations of readers.

Through it all, though the hairstyles, hemlines, hotrods and hi-jinx evolved, the Archie stories rarely wavered from their core conceit: the misadventures of an average American high-schooler pursued by a pair of beautiful, competitive girls, constantly vexed by his rivals and consoled with good humor by his offbeat, free-thinking best friend.

By 2010, more opportunities were arising to tap the ongoing goodwill toward the Riverdale mythos.

I love the characters. Id grown up reading the characters. I always kind of went back to the characters, says Aguirre-Sacasa. I always wanted to write them even when I started writing for Marvel Comics. I was exclusive to them for years. And in fact, I broke my exclusivity with Marvel because I had a chance to write an Archie comic, Archie Meets Glee, which was the first thing that I did for Archie, and that was a dream come true.

SEE ALSO: 9 shows to get excited about in 2017

Even as he was bringing the characters slightly outside of their traditional comfort zones, it was clear that Aguirre-Sacasa was simpatico with the essence of the Archie gang, and he quickly assumed greater custodianship of the characters, eventually being named Chief Creative Officer of Archie Comics, overseeing a critically and commercially successful re-launch of the core titles by top-tier comics creators. At the same time, he began shopping new and left-of-center takes on the properties to Hollywood.

I really want to help bring these characters to life in a way thats never really happened successfully, he says, explaining how he promised publisher Jon Goldwater, the son of the original Archie Comics head, that theyd have to create a slow build of heat on the publishing side before turning Hollywoods head.

Though theres always sort of heat on Archie, he adds. When they make a move and they get tons of press. I know that my friends at DC and Marvel were always like, Why do you get so much ink? People love the characters.

Afterlife With Archie, a surprise sensation in the comics world, demonstrated that after three-quarters of a century that the tried-and-true Archie format had more malleability than expected.

Image: archie comics

We were really nervous about putting the Archie characters in quite a hardcore horror story with a lot of gore, and violence, and some pretty wild ideas, says Aguirre-Sacasa. But we found out two things: one is that the characters could withstand that kind of caldron of stuff; and two, the fans loved it the fans loved seeing the characters they loved in different situations, and they were emotionally invested in what happened to the characters. They were sad when characters were eaten by zombies.

It of course has a little bit informed Riverdale, says the writer, who teamed with executive producer Greg Berlanti no stranger to successful comic-to-TV adaptations thanks to his success with DC Comics and The CWs interconnected superhero series, Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl and DCs Legends of Tomorrow to infuse a similarly shadowy sensibility into the television take.

When we start pushing at the boundaries, I think people get nervous, but I think when you see it, you see that its done with integrity, and care, and comes from a deep abiding love of these characters,” Aguirre-Sacasa says. “No one wants to protect them more than I do. But you do have to evolve them, and you do have to push boundaries, and you do have to be more than just a story with a joke at the end.

My pitch to Roberto was, Number one, we have to find a form where in this can work as a TV show, Berlanti tells Mashable. Number two, can whats beloved about Archie and intrinsic about Archie and the Americana-esque, period element of it translate to todays audience? Thats the challenge we have to at least be aware of [Id tell Roberto] it has to be as much of his personality as possible, because youre a show creator, and youre creating this thing, and theres so many elements of things you love: you love horror, you love comedy, you love irreverent stuff. It has to be as evocative of you and your personality, as Afterlife with Archie really was too.

As we moved along, he wrote a script that was terrific and had that magic thing, Berlanti adds. Im not sure I knew until I read his draft of the pilot script that we developed that it was a real TV show.

One misconception that is out there is that this is Dark Archie, this is dark, gritty Archie, and Rated R Archie, chuckles Aguirre-Sacasa. And in fact the show is a mix of light and dark. The show honors what is Archie, and then subverts it. For me, the sweet spot is the tension between Twin Peaks, and the tension between the 1950s sock hop Archie right in between that is where stories work on both levels. They work as good Archie stories, but they work as good noir, or mystery, or moody stories as well.

KJ Apa as Archie, Camila Mendes as Veronica, Cole Sprouse as Jughead, and Lili Reinhart as Betty

Image: Katie Yu/The CW

Roberto loves these characters, and I dont think anyones salacious to be salacious, Berlanti says of the elements that may sound eyebrow-raising to anyone who hasnt read Archie Comics in a while. That is not our goal. That being said, the show wants to deal in the tropes of these kinds of shows, and comment on those kind of things, and have that be a part of it. Im sure that wont be the first time we have a subject matter that makes people [take pause] – but I can say, in terms of our heart being in the right place, we dont start from that place of like, ‘this is going to get us some people to watch.’ We love these characters, and you dont want to assassinate them either.

Though the characters may be in dark, adult, morally-compromised, scary situations, the characters are still true to their essences, says Aguirre-Sacasa. Those characters are basically the characters they are in Archies Double Digest, just put in a crazy, messed-up situation. Theres trial and error, but I think thats where the show lives in the tension and the juxtaposition of those things.

I would say weve been met with guarded optimism, Perry who ultimately signed on to play Archies father, Fred Andrews says of the Archie fanbase. They dont want us to mess Archie up, but they do want to see it in a new way. They do want these characters to have a new life thats the sense Ive got. So were going to try to give them that without messing up the other.

Riverdale airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on The CW.

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