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yandere-kokeshi · 2 years

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Yandere Bakugou Katsuki with a female darling who's on her period + a little scenario at the end

Request(ed?): Yes! - Hello, please ignore this if this is too uncomfy. Could i request bakugou with his girlfriend who’s on her period? This shit hurts and i need some comfort from my favorite yandere. Love your work :) — submitted by anonymous

Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, talks about periods/blood, sex mention, cursing.

Author Note: I’m so sorry you're in pain, I know the feeling. Make sure to take some advil; drink plenty of water and stay in bed for a bit so you can rest. Maybe stretch, take a walk or do yoga! Those tend to help me. If I can do anything, please tell me!!

Katsuki knows a bit of periods, but as he’s the only child in his family; he never had sisters or his mom explain it fully to him, till he got older, dated a few women and started taking notes on what to do.

He’s very observant, and it’s almost impossible to hide something from Katsuki. So once you show signs of starting your hell week, he’s on you, asking what’s wrong while examining you for any injuries or signs of discomfort.

If you decide to tell him, his reaction is a deer in headlights, with a small worry in his face: ‘Ah. Sorry about that… What can I do to help?’

Now, if you decide to hide it and not tell him, but rather let him find out; he’s gonna be a wreck. He’s gonna be pulling at his hair, snapping at anyone at work as he browses Google to find out what’s wrong. Once he starts to put the symptoms into Google, it snaps like a key in a lock. He rushes to the nearest store, buying literally any sanitary products and snacks and rushes home. Once he comes in, he gives you a huge big crushing hug while whispering in your ear gently; ‘I love you, but sometimes you're an idiot. Why didn’t you tell me you were on your period? Well, get your ass on the couch while we watch some movies and I cook your favorite, m’kay? Love you so much, dumbass.’

Katsuki would take some time off hero work and stay home with you the entire week, he doesn’t care what others say. However, in a rare scenario, if he can’t; he will call you at his breaks and lunch, even coming over to cook you something and ask if you need anything.

He’d grab and cook anything you are craving, but he does check the food you eat/want and tries his best not to give you a lot of salty, sugarery, and dairy products.

He goes into full on protection mode, following you around. He gets irritated if you decide to climb up on the counter to get something, he will carry you in a bridesmaid way. He absolutely hates you not resting (staying in bed or the couch), saying ‘it’s a way to heal’ as if you were ‘injured’.

He will run you a lot of baths, even offer to go in and wash your body and hair so you don't ‘strain yourself more as you’re already hurt’.

He’s surprisingly okay with your mood swings, but very confused. He tries his best to be supportive, get you anything you need, but he can get a bit irritated sometimes. Though, he tries his best to not yell or snap back at you; he keeps reminding himself that you're in a lot of pain and have a lot of stress on you at the moment, that clearly you don’t need any more of that.

If you’re having a hard time sleeping, either with cramps or just can’t sleep because of insomnia; he will offer to massage your back, take a midnight walk around the neighborhood with him or get you some sweets that he knows you would be craving.

He’s your personal heating furnace, he’s always warm; mostly walking around the house either with no shirt or shorts and a sleeveless shirt. He often pulls you into his lap, massaging your lower back, hips, and stomach while talking about things to ease your mind.

Whenever you cry, he never mocks or makes fun of you. He just grabs you, cuddles you while rubbing your back and stomach, while kissing your neck to try to calm you down.

As he’s a pro-hero, he’s a very light sleeper; meaning if he hears, sees you groan or yelp out in pain, he’s up in a second, asking what’s wrong and what he can do to help. He worries a lot about you.

The bathroom is filled with whatever you need: tampons, pads, a menstrual cup, or period underwear. He’s not ashamed of buying it, nor telling you that there’s more stocking under the sink.

He will try his hardest to make you laugh or smile, even though his humor is at times dry and sarcastic; he will push further to make sure your okay and comfortable, it makes him upset that he sees you in pain and can’t take it away immediately

He’ll try to suggest working out, doing yoga, or having sex as Google said it was helpful. However, if you don’t want to, he won't bring it up again till you want to.

He’s never disgusted at this topic, he knows it’s completely normal and never gets embarrassed whenever you bleed onto the blankets, clothes or sheets.

Always reminds you that it’s okay for you to wake him up or call him if you need something, even if he’s at work or it’s 2am.

—

You woke up in immense pain all over your body, sweat drizzling down your forehead and cramps zap through your legs. As you moved to go into a more comfortable position, you realized that not only you bled through your undergarments and shorts, but the blankets and sheets.

As you sighed and sat up, remembering that you had a bunch of home chores to do before Katsuki came home; you huffed out, loudly.

You got up, used the bathroom, took some meds and started to work on the chores, including changing your clothes and sheets.

“I’m home.” Katsuki yelled, yet nobody replied back. Usually you would run up to him, hug him while kissing his face about missing him. But you were nowhere to be.

As Katsuki took off his boots and hero custom, yelling out your name again yet, you still did not reply.

His heart started to race, thinking the worst scenarios in his head. As he walked upstairs towards the rooms, he started to check each room; opening the doors, peeking in then huffing like a bull.

Once he reached the shared bedroom, it wasn’t hard to hear the loud whimpering and sniffling coming from the bed.

“Hey cheeks,” Katsuki huffed out, closing the door as he walked towards the bed. “You okay? Scared me when you didn’t kiss me to death.”

You laughed while nodding, but groaned right after.

As Katsuki sat beside you on the bed, he lifted the blanket towards him to see you curled in a ball.

“You sure? Seems to me like you're almost dying,” Katsuki added right after he moved the blanket.

“Are you sure you're okay baby?”

You huffed out loudly, pushing out a small ‘no’.

“Don’t tell me you’re sick, do you have a fever?” He added.

He brushed his hand over your forehead to check your temperature, yet he frowned as it was a bit hot.

“No, m’ started my period,” You whined in response, “didn’t get to finish chores today. Sorry.”

“Baby, don’t apologize. Don’t worry about those, you could've called me.” Katsuki stated, yet with such soft eyes that were only shown to you.

“Can I do anything to help you?” He asks, not knowing what to do besides wanting to crawl into bed, hug the pain away.

He leans in towards you, kissing your forehead and between your eyes, making you smile a bit.

“Could you maybe crawl in with me? ‘M wanna sleep for a bit.” He nods in response, lifting the blanket and crawling under while kissing your cheek. “Do you want me to rub your tummy?” You also nod in response, rolling over to put your face on his chest.

As he moves his hand in a rhythm on your stomach, he starts to lay his head on the top of your head, kissing your forehead while looking at you with such doe eyes; reminding himself of how lucky he got to have you.

“Tell me if you need anything else, m’kay?” He says as he starts to work his other arm on your hips, slowly rolling them to help you relax more.

Slowly, you started to drift off, making small snores as you rolled more into Katuksi’s chest; making him chuckle loudly.

“Thank you” You said quietly, but clearly Katsuki heard it loud and clear due to his soft smile planted on his face. If anyone dared to see how he smiled, laughed, even wheezed in front of you; he’d be hella embarrassed. But for you? He’d let it go, but maybe as a price for a kiss. He loves you to dear, just as much as you do.

—

Masterlist || Please check it out for more content like these :]!

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

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wonderinc-sonic · 3 months

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TDW 4 - "Medicine for Malware" on Ao3

2.7k Gen, All Audiences

Slice of Life, Illness, germaphobia, Silly, Domestic, Post-Comic Arc: Metal Virus (Sonic the Hedgehog)

TDW 4: Creation // Malfunction - I chose Malfunction

Shadow takes any potential malady a bit too seriously, but when it comes to friends it really can't take risks.

Shadow started the coffee machine in Rouge's kitchen. Once the beans had crushed for her drink, it snuck a few out the top that hadn't gone through the grinder, crunching furtively. It flicked its ears back to face away from the whirring.

She was under a blanket, and on the phone to some sister, or friend from school, or whoever else Rouge knew. They were laughing about something.

"That's so grim. A judge couldn't drag that out of me!" She cackled. The person on the other end said something that made her snort even more, then said something else. Rouge was quiet for a moment, flicking through something on her phone.

"Oh, god, that was tomorrow. I'm gonna have to pass, I'm, er, actually not feeling well. Sure, I mean I didn't wanna say, kill the vibe, but yeah it's kinda nasty. Uh huh, don't think I should go far from the bathroom. God, no don't catch it. Oh, thanks I will. You have a lovely time! I, er, actually gotta go right now, see-ya-mwamwa-bye-" she hung up the phone with urgency, then leant back on the sofa and smiled to herself, tucking the blanket under her chin.

"A-hem! Barista?"

Shadow plonked the mug in her hand and rolled its eyes.

"What?" She shrugged.

"Why lie? You should say you don't want to go."

She blew on the foam and smiled toothily; "The plan was to set her up with the only other person who won't bail, somewhere they're in bikinis. I think it'll go swimmingly."

"That's invasive of you."

"Sure is! But it wasn't a total lie, I don't feel great, and I would rather stay in."

Shadow's fur stood on end, but it didn't move. Rouge didn't notice, flicking through the TV channels unimpressed.

"You feel ill?"

"Enough to sit in front of the sofa and be waited on, sure."

"What are your symptoms?"

"Eh? Oh, nothing that bad. Usual stuff, y'know. I just don't fancy a waterpark."

"Is it the caffeine? I will take this away. Dairy is also an irritant to the gut."

"What- no, it's not food! I just want to stay in and rest, I'm tired. What's wrong?"

Shadow took the coffee from her hand and poured it down the sink, holding the mug with only its fingertips, and took a deep breath. It disappeared into a room, which she thought was odd until she realised it was her room.

"Oi- what are you doing? Get out of there!"

It reappeared, and let the breath go, having opened all the windows in her room and placed the washing up bowl next to her nightstand.

"Go to bed."

"Go to hell! This is my house, don't tell me what to do!"

"Bed. Now. You're ill. I will manage all duties. Do not move fast, but go immediately."

She tilted her head, but scooped up the blankets and her phone and laptop.

"Well whatever, weirdo. I didn't wanna hang out with you anyway. Sure, you wanna do things for me? Go buy my shopping, then, and do a couple loads of laundry while you're at it. I want takeaway for dinner, and it better be nice. That's what this terrible disease demands - chop chop!" She huffed, and it distinctly thought it heard the word 'dumbass' as she closed the door.

Shadow threw its gloves in the washing machine, and started scrubbing down its hands, arms and face in the kitchen sink. It cleaned the surfaces with a bleach cleaner, and put every soft fabric surface in the washing machine too, setting it to very hot. It finished opening the windows in the flat, and stared out, hands shaking.

Tests would be needed, and Shadow would of course need to administer them to reduce any further contact, at risk of picking up a greater potential viral load. They would need a double seal on the entryway for incoming supplies, or some method of receiving from the outside world that couldnt transmit disease...

Shadow tapped out a message to E-123 Omega with trembling bare fingers.

It could hear the sounds of banal television from Rouge's room when Omega arrived with ample groceries and a bit less ammunition than he set off with.

"I do not like Waitruse. I am coincidentally no longer welcome in Waitruse."

"Clean yourself down this instance." Shadow barked, tossing a cloth and isopropyl alcohol to Omega, who dropped all the shopping and caught both. Shadow laid a bowl of soup and bottle of still water on a tray in front of him, with a little packet from the shopping bags.

"Take this to her, then immediately clean yourself again. Take her temperature, the instructions are here."

Omega looked dimly over the sealed thermometer, and barged open Rouge's bedroom door, as Shadow darted to the window to breathe the clean air.

"Why are you in bed?"

"I've been sent to bed, oh thank god some lunch. Has it done my washing yet? I want my fuzzy slippers. And make it fill my hot water bottle. And kick it, just because." Rouge yawned, taking the soup and eyeing Omega's shining chest.

"Did you wash?"

"I was forced to. What is your core temperature reading?"

"How should I know? Normal temperature? I'm fine."

"Puny meatbag, insufficient internal data. I will perform manual test."

Rouge huffed and put the soup down, then shuffled up in her bed as a thermometer was stuffed in her mouth.

"38.5°C. Within normal range of Bat. Why is Shadow afraid of you?" Omega huffed.

Rouge blinked dimly, and paused the sitcom as she thought.

"Is it? I thought it was angry with me? Shadow! Why are you scared?" She shouted through the door, but Omega stopped her.

"You will leave until we know it is Shadow who is faulty. I will reconvene."

As he shut the door, Shadow was spraying him down.

"She is bat temperature."

"Go back in with this kit."

"Query: why are you cleaning me again? Illogical order of events. Clean once after contamination."

Shadow huffed, and threw some testing kits at Omega.

On the other side of the door, Rouge groaned.

"Oh my god, is it some kind of germophobe now? Honestly, one zombie apocalypse and everyone and their granny is a virus expert." She grumbled, sticking a swab up her nose as instructed.

"Unclear: are you malfunctioning? Rouge is not known for compliance with orders."

"No. I wanted to laze around today anyway. It's normal, Omega, don't let Shadow spook you."

"If Shadow is wrong, why comply with its idiocy?"

"Because my stomach aches and I don't want to fight right now. If it wants to spend the day playing doctor, then it can knock itself out. You done? Thanks for the soup. Now go play somewhere else, apparently I'm contagious." She growled, stuffing the completed tests into his hands and shuffling back into bed. Omega left, something nervous churning in his core processor.

Shadow took the tests in a pair of rubber gloves and laid them out on labels it had prepared.

"Clean yourself off, and you can go. You are highly unlikely to incubate a disease."

"Query: why am I expendable to infection?"

Shadow glared at him, and shook its head like he was being stupid.

"You're a machine. We have no evidence you can be infected with anything biological. I am apparently not so fortunate. I'll have to stay isolated too."

When Omega stared nonplussed, it sighed, covering each little test strip with a glass as it expanded:

"On the ARK new crew spent 3 weeks in solitary confinement, sealed with a different air cycling system. I thought it was excessive, but I see now..." Shadow stopped, bearing its teeth and closing its hands into fists.

"It was only with those careful measures that Maria could stay well. Even the smallest illness in mortals can be deadly. And you are less likely to carry transmissable diseases than I, even if I don't become as unwell as others."

Omega's head felt light again as he thought about how deadly mobian infections had proved they could be. He spread his arms out to let the excess heat leave his body quicker.

"... Concern level unwarranted. Rouge is lazy, hungry and grumpy: she is clearly in normal Rouge condition."

Shadow tutted its tongue, and scrubbed its hands again, before it began to sanitise the shopping. It quirked its ear back as Omega whirred hard.

"What? Are you thinking? Try not to."

"Unit has no thoughts."

"Lies, your fans are going."

Omega looked down at his chest and bonked the fans.

"Nothing can be wrong. They are... congested, working theory. Take them out immediately."

Shadow frowned, but took a screwdriver to Omega's chest. When its damp hands touched the barrel the water hissed.

"You are very warm. Something is wrong."

"Ridiculous! Robots are immune to fever."

"I know. I meant mechanically."

"Query: can machines run a fever? Time sensitive. Urgent. Respond now."

"No. I just said that, calm down."

"Secondary opinion required! Acquire more testing aparatus!"

"You want a swab? For what? How do you suppose you'll get a saliva sample?"

Omega spun his wrists in panic, and clanked to the ground as Shadow tripped the back of his knee.

"I am in peril!"

"You are incorrigible. Sit down, I'll check inside."

"Urgent: Shadow is machine and meat. Shadow is susceptible to all viruses! Beware my malware!"

Shadow flexed its hands in and out of fists, and bore its teeth.

"I'll risk it. Stop moving."

It opened his chest, and started carefully unpacking the wires.

"Beep. Beep. Beep." Omega trilled rhythmically while it laid all the pieces out on the floor meticulously, digging for his fans. As Shadow's fingers came close to the motherboard, the beeping surely sped up, because it was in tune with its own hammering heart. Something hissed and rumbled in the background, and it wiped sweat from its brow. It had watched Rouge do this thousands of times, but what was that blue coil again? It touched a latch carefully.

"Ooh, wouldn't do that if I were you." Rouge whispered over its shoulder.

Shadow sprang from Omega and her, clinging to the curtains where it landed. Omega gasped dramatically.

"Urgent! What has it touched! Shadow has forsaken its brother!"

Rouge tittered, and stuck her hand boldly into Omega, cuddling a freshly filled hot water bottle to her stomach.

"Rouge must leave! This unit is compromised by her diseases!"

"More like my fur - when did you last clean your fans, Omega?" She huffed, yanking a greyish mound made of white fur and black spines from one of his fans.

"Get back in your room! I can't help you if you make me sick!" Shadow hissed, as Rouge glared at it, clipping Omega's chest back on. He whirred his fans fast, but they only whooshed this time, instead of roaring.

"Why did you open his whole chest instead of the back panel to get to his fans? Are you feeling alright, idiot?"

"Critical Failure: Rouge's malady is spread to Shadow! The whole team is compromised."

Rouge clutched the hot water bottle and pulled herself up, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Do I need to explain to you two there are some things you literally cannot catch? Beyond yourselves not being susceptible, but completely uncontagious? Are you that dense?"

Omega scratched at the nape of his neck, trying to open the panel with his finger. Shadow climbed down the curtain and unscrewed it, eyeing Rouge carefully as Omega's fans were exposed and spluttered out more fluff and dust.

"... I thought I couldn't catch and spread anything. That was my design, I never doubted it was true. I won't make the same mistake twice."

Rouge pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded.

"Right. I get that. But, you never used to think I'm dying when I got a headache, or try to take Omega apart when he's a bit dirty. You're gonna have to go back to that."

Shadow nodded, but visibly leant away from her still. She sighed.

"Shadow, I'm so confident, I'd bet... my whole fridge that you won't catch what I have. Does that ease anything?"

"Fridge is replacable. I won't go out until we are passed the infection window."

"I would bet the whole house."

"It isn't actually yours."

Rouge clapped a hand on Omega's metal body: "I bet the 'bot you can't get what I have. So stop worrying." She smiled tiredly at Shadow, and it weighed up how serious she could be.

"This unit is not a pawn! Omega is Queen of Chess Board!"

"So I win Omega if I get sick? Perhaps that's a fair deal." It smirked slightly, as Omega spun his head between them.

"Oh sure, buddy, I'm that confident you'll be fine. And if I'm right?"

"Well, you can have Omega, obviously."

"Protestation! This is not obvious!"

"Fine, I guess I'll take Omega. How about I'll keep him for now, and when you catch my period, you can come claim him, how's that?"

"... that didn't occur to me. Fine, you win Omega."

"Idiot. I change my mind, I don't want just him. If you lose, you can keep serving me til I'm 'better'. And I am going back to bed. Actually, Omega: you're mine now so princess carry me. Then make me a mocha."

"This unit did not consent to bet!"

"Caffeine is still an irritant-"

"Irritant yourself."

"-As is your fur to his fans. You shouldn't keep him in your room, it's filthy in there." Shadow huffed, shunting the fur tumbleweed around with his toes.

"Oh, you're volunteering to clean that too? How thoughtful!"

Omega growled metalically.

"Conversation Moot! This unit is not won! He will go wherever he wants!" Omega huffed, and Rouge tapped a hand on his forehead, shushing softly.

"Careful, all that bluster has you feeling a little warm, big guy! What was that talk of malware? Maybe you need some soup and a bath?" She laughed softly, but put herself to bed. Omega turned on his heel and plugged himself into the internet port, downloading an antivirus update.

In just twenty minutes, he was in a half-sleep mode, whirring away at the foot of Rouge's bed, while she flicked through crap TV. Shadow lay on top of the duvet criticising everything, and flinching everytime she groaned. She shifted in her bed, and its ears pinned back to its head.

"Really not a big deal, Shadow."

Shadow nodded, staring at the screen.

"You wanna talk?"

It shook its head.

"Fine by me." She snickered, and they both groaned at a laugh track, so Rouge changed the channel again.

"You..." Shadow began, then shook its head.

"I? Moi? My favourite topic?"

"You have to take care of yourself. Don't get ill."

"I won't try to."

"Good."

"But I'm not making a promise."

Shadow sniffed, and exhaled a low growl, staring at the nature documentary before them.

"It's gonna be fine, Shadow."

It hummed back.

"I'm not weak, and I'm not planning on hitting my deathbed anytime soon. I've got to spend at least a few more years getting mad at you before I have to say something inspirational and check out."

She chuckled to herself, but Shadow shook its head hard.

"You can't live being scared of people getting sick, Shadow. You don't even remember most of the virus."

"not scared. Cautious. And not remembering is what's unnerving. Yet,"

Shadow stopped himself, watching a killer whale pack corner a baby seal in awe.

"Yet?"

"... yet I'm glad I wasn't in your shoes."

Rouge sniffed.

"You would have coped."

"Naturally."

The baby seal was thrown between the Orcas.

"But I guess it's fair. I mean, you'll do your turn of... holding down the fort."

"Supposedly. I don't know what I believe anymore. Perhaps Omega will have to live on without us."

"Omega alone? Harrowing. What say you, big guy?" Rouge snickered, kicking the back of his head.

Omega jerked awake, eyes whirring before he pointed at the screen, where the baby seal's body was being tossed around by the orcas.

"Excellent. The sports channel has been found." He remarked, standing up to stare at the screen, tapping his feet with glee.

"He'll be fine." She nodded.

@teamdarkweek

#tdw 2024: day 4 #shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e-123 Omega #team dark #teamdarkweek #team dark week #tdw #prose #text post #wonderincs #writincs

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squeakykid · 11 months

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Day 1!! (Fashionably late) Reddie week- mythical creatures!! (Richie is a ghost)

Ghosts in movies are usually ancient beings of untold power or Victorian children in nightgowns with no eyes. Something ominous, right? Something grand and mysterious.

"Are you gonna eat that?" The ghostly white and see through visage of a floating guy with coke bottle glasses and a shit eating grin asked from behind Eddie's back.

Without even cracking a smile, Eddie responded. "You can't even eat, dumbass. You have no stomach."

He somehow snorts with no physical nose. "I'm sure I could find a way to make an exception for something like that. Besides." He flew around Eddie as if he were swimming in air and tapped the side of his "glasses". "I don't have eyes, and yet I still have these babies."

"Yeah, why do you do that to yourself, anyway? Are you even capable of taking them off?"

"That's not the point. The point is, I look devastatingly handsome in my glasses, so I keep them, and the cake would be devastatingly delicious, so why not enjoy it? I'm already dead. I gotta at least try to live a little. What do ya say?" He flared his fingers out as if he thought he really did something.

Eddie stabbed a piece of the dairy-free gluten-free cake. One of the few treats he allowed himself. "No."

"Please." Richie begged, bringing his not-face closer to Eddie's and puppy pouted half inside of his face.

"No." Eddie continued, unfazed, and put the piece in his mouth.

"Please." Richie said again, this time face to face, eye to eye, close enough to kiss if they could even physically touch. Instead, their faces were just partially merged.

Eddie shrieked sharply and bits of cake fell out of his mouth and through Richie's face. "Oh gross, look what you made me do. If you're gonna pull this shit at least have the courtesy to be alive enough to clean up your mess."

"Another perk of being dead, Edwardo. Now about that cake." He said.

"Oh my god." Eddie groaned, throwing his head back as he swept the hard cake crumbs from the floor. "You may be the one that's dead, but you make me lose my will to live."

"I love you too." Richie chirped.

After letting out a long, heavy sigh, Eddie stood up next to his plate and silently cut off a piece.

"Ahhhh," Richie let his jaw unnaturally unhinge, like a snake, with his tongue lolling out like a Looney Toon.

Eddie held the cake on the fork. "Don't get cocky." He held the cake out to him, keeping his hand under the fork to manage crumbs. Richie got close, too close, and put his mouth around the fork. The fork and Eddie's hands were fully visible through Richie's milky white head. Bits of the cake fell from the fork onto Eddie's hand.

Richie kept trying, miming biting and licking, much to Eddie's disgust, but nothing happened. "Awww." He backed away, defeated.

"I told you. We do this multiple times a week. What made you think the result would be any different this time?" He looked at him through his eyelashes, a headache coming in.

"You're making it sound like you don't treasure our 'boy and his ghost' bonding time, Eds."

"Boy? I'm basically middle aged!"

"I hope not. If you're middle aged, I'm middle aged Eds."

"You're dead."Eddie sighed. "Not sure if I should be more worried about your sanity or mine. You know what they say about insanity. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result or whatever. But I'm the one talking to thin fucking air and trying to feed it my dessert."

"I don't know about thin. I've put on a few pounds in my old age. I'm middle aged you know." He smiled, wide and smug.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." Eddie instinctively chucked his forkful of cake at him. Richie tried to catch it in his mouth, but of course, it fell to the floor. Richie wouldn't have gotten it anyway. He was a little too left.

"Are you gonna clean that up?" Richie winked. "I'd help, but, ya know, dead."

"I hate you so fucking much. What did I do to deserve this? Is it too late for the clown to just take me?" Eddie begrudgingly got the broom and stomped around, diligently looking for crumbs to sweep into his little pan.

"Then you'd really be stuck with me, Eds. Till death do us not part. Because I'm dead and I haven't parted. So, I'm sure you'd be just as stuck here as I am."

"Oh my goddd," Eddie screamed into his hands.

There once was a boy named Richie Tozier. They grew up together. They met when they were in the first grade. Bill, Stan, Richie, and Eddie were typical best friends that loved each other, and would do anything for each other, but also kinda hated each other sometimes. Mike, Beverly, and Ben joined when they were thirteen. They didn't have time to form a dynamic before they were all haunted by horrors beyond their wildest childhood imaginations. The clown. It was more horror than any kid or anyone for that matter should have to witness in any lifetime. They did what they could, but they were kids.

Eddie had a broken arm. He had no business splashing around in a sewer trying to fight evil itself, but he wasn't going to let his best friends go in without him. Richie was a goofy kid with broken glasses, a smart mouth that wouldn't stop running, and buckets of unearned confidence and bravery. He never was okay with anything happening to Eddie. If a bully hurt Eddie, Richie would open his mouth and end up getting hurt way worse than Eddie was in the first place. If Eddie was tripped, Richie ended up with a black eye and bloody nose. And what was the clown but a big, supernatural bully? So when he came for Eddie, Richie didn't even think before using his mouth to get himself into trouble. The last trouble he'd ever get into. They really were best friends and it turns out, they were inseparable, even in death.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47685511/chapters/120198859

#reddie #reddie week #reddie week 2023 #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #ghost Richie #sunny writes #reddieweek #day 1 mythical creatures

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shroomboi67 · 1 year

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I have nothing to post really so take some dumbass memes i do have an insta @moldyboi67 so join me and see some of my art if you want 💖

Ethan: *messaging* 'hey just to let you know i'm not gay'

Chris: 'this is literally grindr'

Ethan: 'i guess people who are lactose intolerant can't go down the fucking dairy aisle i'm just looking-'

Fandom: i'm gonna hug you!

Heisenberg: i will literally kill you

Ethan: i'm going to kill you.

Heisenberg: 🥵 please do~

Ethan: *sneers with bloodied teeth and with a dirty blood smeared face literally smelling like a sewer and with limbs hanging on by a thread

Heisenberg: i want that one.

Donna: ethan.. will you.. be my brother in law..? *pulls out a ring getting on one knee*

Ethan: ...!

Heisenberg: did you just propose for me!?

Donna: someone had to do it

Ethan: !?

Ethan: we call them indicators as it indicates where we are going

Heisenberg: we call them blinkers because they go blink blink-

Ethan: you know i have no idea what i'm doing 90% of the time..

Chris: if you can't blow them with your brilliance baffle them with your bullshit.

Moreau: one in four people are gay!

Alcina: that means someone in here is gay

Heisenberg: i hope its Ethan he's cute

Alcina: ...

Moreau: ....

Donna: ....

Ethan: ......

Ethan: i swing both ways...

Ethan: with a bat come at me motherfuckers!

Mia: if you were a drink what drink would you be? I'd be lime soda

Chris: bleach

Ethan: sewage

Mia: alright calm down edge lords

Ethan: FOUR MONTHS

Mia: whats he going on about?

Heisenberg: don't worry about it

Ethan: FOR FOUR MONTHS YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT!

Ethan: once you've hit rock bottom the only place to go is up! Right?

Capcom: haha jokes on you i brought your pickaxe and your going to dig.

Ethan: karl truth or dare

Heisenberg: truth

Ethan: how many hours sleep have you had?

Heisenberg knowing he stayed up all night on a project: dare

Ethan: i dare you to go to sleep

Heisenberg not sleeping till its done: i don't like this game

#resident evil village #karl heisenberg #resident evil #ethan winters #shitpost #wintersberg #heisenwinters #donna beneviento #lady alcina dimitrescu #salvatore moreau #mia winters #chris redfield

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shitpostingsystem · 4 months

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my irl friend called me a dumbass for eating dairy. i hate him /j. like sure my throat gets all itchy and sometimes i break out in hives but they go away eventually. i would die for ice cream. my cause of death better be an oreo blizzard from dairy queen

#shit is allergic to milk #shitpost

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b1as1an-souya · 2 years

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“We’re a bunch of idiots, y’all know that right!”

Baji x younger brother reader

Tw: cursing, slight mentions of fighting/violence

Ps: reader is a founding member of Toman and is two years younger than Baji

“YOU’RE FUCKING WRONG!!” Said a voice that could be heard across the park that the founding members of toman were supposed to be at. “NO IM NOT!” A voice said back.

It was no other than Keisuke Baji and his younger brother [Name] baji, the argumentative bastards. “ARE TOO!” Keisuke yelled back. “AM NOT!” [Name] screamed back. “What the hell are those two bastards are arguing about now?” Mitsuya said to the toman members that were there.

[Name] Baji was also a founding member of toman, and he was always arguing with his older brother Keisuke Baji.

“Toman! Tell your friend that chocolate milk comes from brown cows!” [Name] yelled. “It does NOT!” Keisuke yelled back. “That’s what you two dumbasses were arguing about!” Draken said while trying to contain his laughter.

“I have proof I’m right Draken!” [Name] said. “Well then show it dummy!” Kazutora said while smiling. “Look here! So y’all have chocolate milk cartons at home right? On the carton it literally shows BROWN COWS!” [Name] yelled trying to prove a point.

“Hmmm, now that I think about it, [Name’s] right!” Pah-chin said. “Exactly Keisuke!” [Name] laughed victoriously. “No [Name], you’re wrong chocolate milk comes from white cows…” Mitsuya said. “Hmh! I won’t hear it! All those who agree with Me come on my side! Those who agree with Keisuke go on his side!” [Name] said thinking that was the only way to solve this problem.

Currently Pah-chin, Kazutora, and Mikey were on [Name’s] side, while Mitsuya, Draken were on his side. “See I win! You’re wrong!” [Name] yelled out sticking his tongue out at his older bro. “I’m gonna kick your ass!” Baji yelled jumping towards [Name].

Pause you two, lets go to the store and see if [Name’s] evidence is actually correct.” Mitsuya said. “That’s a reasonable solution.” Kazutora said as the rest of the Toman members agreed.

The six middle schoolers, plus [Name] who was in his last year of elementary made it to the Nearby supermarket. “Hey, last one to the dairy section has to do ding dong ditch!” Mikey said while already running. “No fair! That’s cheating Mikey!” Draken and Mitsuya said while running after the others.

The last one there was [Name]. “No fair, you all cheated! Right Keisuke?” No we didn’t you’re just too slow idiot!” Keisuke teased followed by [Name] kicking his ankle. “Ok where’s the milk…” Mitsuya said out loud. “Right here! I found it first!” Mikey said, “No you didn’t I was here before you!” Draken yelled. “Idiots! I’m holding the chocolate milk right now!” Kazutora yelled victoriously.

“Ok look here, this has a photo of a brown cow at the back. While this one has a photo of a white cow…” Pah-chin said confused. “Ughh! This is too hard for me to figure out!” Mikey yelled defeatedly. “It’s obviously the one with the white cow, look here it says “All produce received from white cow.” Mitsuya says while looking at [Name].

“But see here this one says “No artificial flavors 100% real chocolate?” Kazutora questioned. “Well it’s obvious the correct answer is chocolate milk comes from white cows!” Keisuke said. “DANMIT!” [Name], Kazutora and Pah-chin yelled. “I’m right and you are wrong!” Keisuke teased. “Shut up!” [Name] yelled back.

“Come on guys, let’s get outta here! Lil [Name] still has to do ding dong ditch!” Draken said while smiling. “Danm you Mikey!” [Name] yelled while flipping him off.

The six Toman members walked to a random door step ready to play ding dong ditch. Talking about random things.

“Go on [Name]! Unless you’re scared!” Kazutora teased. “Shut it! I bet you haven’t even grown any pubes yet!” [Name] yelled. “Just ring the danm doorbell for fucks sake!” Draken yelled obviously annoying. As [Name] quickly pressed the door bell, the other Toman members quickly whispered. “Come on! Let’s go before they catch us!”

“Huh?” The person said opening the door only to find seven boys running away laughing their asses off. “Come back here!” They yelled chasing them down.

“I think we lost em!” Kazutora yelled looking behind him. “We did.” Draken said while panting. The seven boys ended up in a park. They quickly fell down on the grass laughing and playing. “I’m not doing that again!” [Name] said. “But it was fun though, you gotta admit that!” Mitsuya laughed.

“Y’all are fucking dumbasses!” Baji yelled.

“But you love us!” The six teased back.

“Hey… do ya think strawberry milk comes from pink cows or strawberry cows?” Mikey asked absentmindedly.

“Well then Mikey… LETS FIND OUT!” The six replied back getting ready to go back to the supermarket.

#tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers x male reader #tok rev #tokyo revengers manga #x male reader #anime #male reader #tok rev fluff #tok rev x male reader #anime / manga #baji keisuke #ken ryuguji #kazutora hanemiya #mitsuya takashi #manjiro sano #pah chin #baji x male reader

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