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#david bowie is a god
sunderwight · 4 months
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Thinking about a situation where SQQ gets a look at Luo Binghe's package (post-Abyss but pre-Maigu Ridge, or in an AU where Maigu Ridge doesn't happen) through like, the outline of his pants or whatever (maybe Binghe took a wardrobe tip from Jareth of Labyrinth), and then got to thinking about how huge Luo Binghe's meat is, like in an actually non-sexual way this time just his brain gets onto a tangent about a bunch of scenes from PIDW where the descriptions varied wildly, and then he starts wondering about exactly what size it is, because to go by the novel's descriptions it's either bigger than average but not insane or there's another arm stuffed into that codpiece somehow. Surely it's closer to the former than the latter? SQQ doesn't have any other evidence that physical limitations in this world are that different from his own world, but then again, would it come up in any of his conversations if women in this world have sufficiently cavernous vaginas for damn near every virgin Bingge met to accommodate a dick that big? Does it at least make childbirth easier? He hasn't exactly polled anyone on it, so it could be the case. But what about the back door, so to speak? There were a few sex scenes that went in that direction, forbidden tunnel of love type stuff and it was all incredibly bad and cheesy, but of course, SQQ actually has a "back door" too and surely he would notice if it was possible to stick his own arm up it. Although it's also not as if he's tried, and as a peak lord with a fantasy metabolism he doesn't actually have to take a shit either, his body processes everything extremely efficiently and it's been years since... well anyway it's not like he's had occasion to investigate it much, now that he's thinking about it. Maybe he can? Not that this is relevant information to anything though and given the inconsistencies the probable limitations of the numerous people PIDW Binghe had sex with, his package, though prodigious, is probably not actually that big of a weapon. How could he even comfortably keep it contained otherwise...? Etc etc etc.
Meanwhile the entire time he's having this internal spiel, he's just... staring. At Luo Binghe's dick. Really blatantly. It doesn't even occur to him that he's doing something incriminating about his interests or possible attraction precisely because he's not, for once, getting flustered about it (much) but is in fact genuinely vexed by the mystery. This is not so much a case of imagining Luo Binghe's dick as wondering about fantasy physiology. So he's lost track of where his gaze has wandered.
The longer it goes on for though the more flustered Luo Binghe gets though. Like, should he say something? Is this a prelude to Shizun making a move? Is there... something wrong with it? Why is he staring so intently? Is Shizun aware that he has just been looking straight at Luo Binghe's dick for almost ten minutes now...? He should definitely say something, right? Maybe this is his chance! Or maybe he should wait and see what Shizun does next? Should he try a line? Something suave? Ask if he wants to see it! Shizun can absolutely see Binghe's dick if he wants to! No wait, but what if Shizun is planning on making a move and he ruins it by being impatient? He should wait and see where this is going.
...How long is it going to take, though...?
Luo Binghe's brain frazzles between trying to decide if he should make a move or prepare to be receptive towards one, or maybe check and make sure his dick hasn't turned into tentacle or something without him noticing, while Shen Qingqiu slooowly (very slowly) begins to realize that yes, he has been staring at Luo Binghe's dick while lost in thought for such a long time that now it's weird. It's definitely weird. He should look away now, at once, except now if he stops staring at Binghe's dick it's going to end whatever stalemate this is and he's probably going to have to explain why he was ogling it in the first place, and he definitely cannot explain anything, so he just keeps staring while furiously trying to think of a non-gay explanation for why he's now glaring intensely at Luo Binghe's crotch.
...He can't think of anything. Oh god. This is a disaster. Luo Binghe is going to kill him for being a perve!
(Good luck, Binghe.)
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moonyackertarg · 8 months
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lestat really woke up from his century long nap and said “mmm how can i make the 80’s about me and how can i fuck david bowie???”
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vampyre-kin · 2 months
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Damn shawty, your haunting eyes, unique nose and janky teeth have bewitched my mind, body and soul.
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miko-fellco · 1 month
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Guys I need you to know that David Bowie appeared in my dream today, we were making a clay sculpture in my kitchen and he told me that true art is found in the horrors of humanity or sth like that. I was also extremely nervous, because of course i was making a sculpture with David Bowie.
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legendarytragedynacho · 5 months
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David Bowie, Chicago 1980
📷 by Anton Corbijn ©
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ryan-waddell11 · 11 months
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Bowie x Joseph. This is how I win.
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superhusbands4ever · 6 days
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I don’t even go here, but if the Buck 9-1-1 backlash (outside of tumblr spaces lmao) has taught me anything, it’s that there is still an inherent level of biphobia that exists within homophobia and that many people still do not comprehend/believe that bisexuality is a real thing.
“I can’t believe they made him gay!”
Actually, he’s bisexual.
“But he’s been with so many women!”
Yes, because he’s bisexual.
“So he just suddenly likes men now??”
Yes, that is included in being bisexual.
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aseriesofshocks · 8 days
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hey guys i recently encountered this glitch on Spotify, if anyone knows how to fix it, don’t hesitate to lmk! thank you!! 💖☺️
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clowndensation · 8 months
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this is my best friend, goth jareth.
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Your feed has been blessed by god himself 😌🫶
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lizzie-templexoxo · 22 days
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🫧“You have no power over me”🫧
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poop-diddy-scoop · 27 days
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a cunt serve was due on the days that these photos were taken
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I’m not religious but I do have an intense religious experience every time I listen to literally any song by David Bowie or Florence and the Machine
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spw-art · 7 months
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Feeling very normal about Ziggy today. Keep your electric eyes on him!!
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ziggyrette · 1 year
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this era tho... >>>>>>>>>>
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Those EYES
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Harrah's postcard from 1973
Source: avaluer.net
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