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heartfullofleeches · 17 days

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Dea [Worshipper God] comforting an upset Darling before Bed

Word Count: 1.2k. Commission 2/2.

Warnings: None besides some mild hurt/comfort. Pure fluff

No Pronouns for Reader. He/she/they used for Dea

“Penny for your thoughts, my grace?”

The slackness of your shoulders. Vacancy in your gaze. The incurious disposition to their cheerful greeting. All signs your vigilant adorer searches for upon being blessed with your return. As your most faithful and presumably sole devotee, Dea is forbearing to your woes - granting you time to settle in and breathe before airing their concerns.

A short walk to the couch with your hand in theirs, not another word spoken as the deity cautiously directs their touch to your shoulders - ushering you to the sanctity of the cushions. They proceed by relieving you of some of your burdens - peeling the damp coat from your arms and draping it over their right. As if this day couldn't get any worse for you, the beginnings of a storm had caught up to you right before you made it through the door. Dea knew they should have been more persistent when encouraging you to carry an umbrella with you, but the selfish part of them knew it'd serve to hasten your journey home.

Thankfully, aside from your jacket and hair, the rest of you was almost entirely dry. The deity excuses themselves to carry your coat elsewhere - returning seconds later with a towel in hand. Warmth radiates from the cloth as it's delicately placed atop your wet scalp. Only when her ears catch that awaited sigh of relief passing through your tight lips does their question reach you.

“Sure…”

It's pained - debilitated. There's that familiar, heart-rending sting swelling behind their eyes at the utter defeat in your voice. How he longed for the tears obscuring their vision to be sobs of joy… No- they mustn't cry when you are the one in turmoil. Dea waves a hand over their eyes, conjuring a small coin from their robes with the scant turn of their wrist. Taking your palm in theirs once more, the deity firmly places it in its center - closing your fingers around the offering with a tender kiss to the backs of your knuckles.

Upon first glance, it's simple to tell it's no ordinary penny. For one, it was significantly larger than one of typical size. Gold plated as an alternative to the common copper tinge. As your nails scrap over its surface, a thin line splinters the golden finish. You pick at the film with your nails until you're left with a white, faceless coin. You hold it closer to your face, sniffing curiously. No scent.

Hesitantly, you wedge the small disk between your teeth - biting down.

The coin breaks away as smoothly as butter whilst remaining firm on your tongue. As you chew, it makes a moment for any flavor to register. What you presumed to be white chocolate turned out to be… something else entirely. It doesn't quite taste like it anyway. This taste.. It reminds you of something. The first bite of a sweet you haven't had in some time. Did you eat so much of it that you grew bored of it? Was it not being sold anymore? Was it still in stores - and just didn't taste the same anymore?

Swallowing, you sigh. Where do you begin? Do you tell them about the falling out with your friends? Your troubles at work? How everytime it feels like you're taking a step forward in life, you're knocked three back? Your mind is racing, yet the rest of you feels so drained. It's all too much. At least for one night.

“I'm just… tired, Dea. That's all.”

Dea’s lips remained sealed - expression one of contemplation. It softens, fingers tucking a now dry strand of hair behind your ear as they hushedly mutter. “Thank you for being honest.”

The deity slides a hand beneath your knees, the other positioned to your neck as they lift you up from the couch, heading towards your bedroom. “I would appreciate hearing the minor details in the morning, but for now I believe some well deserved rest is what you are in need of most. Come morning, I shall have a bath for you prepared soon as you wake. How does that sound?”

Had they possessed a human heart - it may have combusted upon the weight of your head falling to their shoulder. “That sounds… actually kinda nice…..”

Dea pushes the door open with their foot, adjusting you in their arms as they enter your bedroom, trailing leisurely towards the bed. The blankets had already been peeled back, awaiting your fated return just as she had. The god places you upright on the mattress, kneeling as they lift your foot into their lap. Dea unties the laces of your shoe, gently grasping your ankle as they remove the footwear, setting it on the floor beside your bed. They repeat the process with your other shoe, carrying both of them to your closet to be safely stored away.

Joining your side yet again, Dea helps you into bed - arranging your legs comfortably beneath the sheets before rolling them up to your chin with a corner left untucked for them to easily slide into once finished with their mission.

“I am so proud of you, My Grace.”

Your voice is muffled by the layers of blankets swathed over you. “For what?”

‘Just for being you. It's not easy - being human, facing so many hardships throughout such a short time on this earth. I wish I could take it all away. Keep you from those who may harm you. As much as it pains me, I am aware being with others of your kind is a necessary part of life… It's what allows me to grang you the freedom to run off into this cruel reality with me everyday….”

Dea pauses.

“N-not that you need my permission! It just kills me to see you hurting… I've probably talked your ear off enough for one night- Goodnight, My Grace.”

“Dea?”

Your voice is even harder to make out than before.

“Yes?”

“....Thank you….”

The stinging behind their eye makes it return, but isn't as melancholic as before. “It is my pleasure, Y/n. As always.”

The deity shuts off the lamp beside your bed, snuggling up next to you with a protective arm projected over you as exhaustion takes hold - your eyes drifting close to the soothing whispers of your eternal admirer.

“Sweet dreams, My Grace. Know as you fall asleep that I will always protect you. As your faithful disciple, and the one who cherishes you ever so dearly in my heart.”

#dea my oc #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere oc #yandere insert #yandere blurb #yandere god #yandere fluff #soft yandere #yandere drabble

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softcryz · 23 days

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Hi it's been a while since I posted anything related to Spite I need to fix that [+, of course, the dogs]

[ VCYU belongs to @zarithial -- first image, right ]

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jksprincess10 · 9 months

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Exile 1. So long and goodnight

Summary: After Steve Murphy's unforgivable death in the never-ending fight against Pablo Escobar, Javier Peña finds himself stuck with a new partner. A girl that they brought from Miami. Smart, devastating, strong. Nothing he would have thought her to be. Their rivalry builds up to something intense, destructive.

CW: canon violence, mentions of death, smoking and drinking, language, bullshitting my way through the Narcos plot, no y/n (3rd person), no physical and racial descriptions of the girl, eventual smut. 1500 words. Divider by @cafekitsune Masterlist for exile Notification blog

He can’t look at anyone in the church. But he feels the weight of their stares. The weight of the unsaid words, the weight of “it’s your fault”. He couldn’t protect the gringo. He was too fucking late. And now he was laying in his casket, stab wounds hidden under a painfully black suit. White face even whiter under the powder hiding death. Stillness incarnated.

When the priest starts talking, it’s getting too real, death’s hands reaching for his neck. He leaves to breathe. Sits on the concrete stairs and lights a cigarette. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels salty water sliding down his cheeks. He curses, uses his wrist to wipe them away.

He doesn’t know how long he’s there until he sees the people starting to come out of the church, a party of various shades of blacks. When Connie sees him, she heads straight to him. She’s in tears, understandably. And she grabs him by the collar, brings him up and looks at him with all the pain she has. He lets her. He understands. When she’s done, he hugs her, begs for her forgiveness. He knows she doesn’t forgive him.

But he tried.

So he leaves.

She’s sorting through files when the boss calls for her. Her heels clack against the impersonal tiled floor as she gets to the main office. She sits down, crosses her legs while she assesses the man’s expression. Is she in trouble? No, she doesn’t think so.

“Thank you for coming so fast. We think you should get more… hands on in the Pablo Escobar case.”

“Meaning?” She asks.

“You’ll be sent to our office Bogotá. There’s a free position for you there. You’ve been good at dealing with the narcotics crisis here in Miami. But we think that keeping you here is wasting your potential. You’re a smart girl.”

She feigns her surprise, like she hadn’t hoped for this position and worked towards it for years now. She gets up and shakes hands with her boss, her grasp surprisingly strong. She smiles like a hungry wolf.

“When do I leave?”

“Can you leave on Monday?”

That left her a week to get ready.

“Yeah. That’s enough for me to do my goodbyes and pack.”

She didn’t have much. She lived alone. Her family was scattered.

“Then, I suggest you go home early and start packing.”

“Thank you.”

With that, she leaves and goes home. She already had multiple luggage stored just in case. She knew her job was something fragile. She knew that she would have to leave one day or another.

She calls her mom first.

“Allô ma chérie? Tout va bien?” (Hi honey, is everything okay?)

“Oui, oui… je voulais juste te prévenir que j’ai été transférée à Bogotà. J’ai eu une promotion. ” (Yeah… just wanted to tell you that I got transferred to Bogotà. I got a promotion.)

“Oh mon dieu ! C’est super. Je suis fière de toi. ” (Oh my god! That’s amazing. I’m proud of you.)

“Merci. Je suis désolée que ça m’éloigne encore plus de toi. ” (Thanks. I’m sorry to go even farther from you.)

“Si c’est ce que tu veux, ma chérie, je suis contente pour toi. Tu vas prévenir ton père? ” (If that’s what you want, honey, I’m happy for you. Will you tell dad?)

“Oui. J’irai le voir demain. Je pars... Lundi prochain.” (Yeah, I’ll try to see him tomorrow. I’m leaving… next Monday.)

“D’accord. S’il te plait, fais attention à toi. ” (Okay. Please, take care of yourself).

“Promis.” (I promise).

She hangs up the phone and stars packing under her cat’s worried and piercing yellow eyes.

“I’ll bring you with me, don’t worry Riri.”

The black cat purrs and curls around her ankles.

“I know that Agent Murphy’s death is so recent, but we have to keep moving, Agent Peña.”

“Of course.” He offers coldly as he lights his cigarette.

It had been a rough couple of days. But when he got back to the office, he had to do as if nothing happened. The show must go on. Escobar didn’t wait. He kept getting richer and richer.

They couldn’t mourn. There was no time.

“We assigned you a new partner. She’ll be here on Monday; you must get her at the airport. The usual. Her name is –”

“Wait. She?” He frowns as he sets his cigarette down, some ash escaping the tip.

“Is that a problem, Agent Peña?”

“Are we sure… she’s fit for the job?”

“Believe me. She is. Or else she wouldn’t be transferred. She worked on the case from Miami.”

“Look… I don’t wanna question your decisions, but –”

“So, don’t. You’ll pick her up Monday afternoon and you’ll make sure she moves in next to you safely.”

“Yes, sir.”

Emptiness filled her space now. She packed her bedroom already, keeping only the necessities out until the last minute. Her dad had taken the news surprisingly well, he knew how important that job was too her. And maybe, just maybe, she would meet nice people there. She would be less lonely, he had said.

Her dad worried for her. Constantly suggesting she gets a partner, but she brushed him off. This job wasn’t fit for partnership.

She left on Monday in the early morning, her possessions fitting in two big luggage, a carry-on bag and a cage for Riri. The rest of her life, she left behind. The flight went smoothly, and she slept for most of it.

Her new work partner was supposed to wait for her at arrival. So, she looked around to find someone who would have her name written down on a cardboard sign. She finally finds him.

He’s not the tallest man. His body is lean. He has dark hair, gelled down. He has thick sideburns and an equally thick moustache. His lips are pouty, and she can’t see his smile even as she approaches. His nose his generous in size, so are his deep brown eyes. He’s dressed casually but professionally: a light-colored shirt that stretches over his shoulders, dark-washed jeans, and a brown belt.

“Agent Peña?” She offers her hand, but he looks at it and doesn’t take it.

Lovely, she thinks.

“First lesson. Don’t mention our job here.” He says as he gets closer to whisper. Her arm goes back to her side. His breath smells vaguely like mint with a hint of cigarette.

“You’re coming here to teach English. Got it? Do you have all your luggage?”

He looks down at the cage and rolls his eyes as he sees the black cat staring back at him defiantly.

“Yes.”

“Then, let’s go.”

She lets him do the talking, communicating in perfect Spanish. She acts like she doesn’t speak a word of the language to make her character more believable.

Even when they’re in his car – a black Jeep, he doesn’t pay much attention to her. She keeps the cage on her lap to reassure her cat, who seems to hate her new co-worker already, hissing at him.

“Can I have your first name?” She asks to try and strike up a conversation.

He barely looks at her through his yellow aviators. “Javier. But let’s keep it professional and stay on a last name basis.”

“Wow. I feel so welcomed.” She says sarcastically.

He parks the car abruptly – at her new home, she presumes, and turns to her, lips fused in one line that shows his annoyance.

“Look, I can send you back home if you don’t feel welcomed enough, princesa. But we don’t have time for this shit here. You won’t have a castle. You’ll stay in a shitty apartment next to mine. And you won’t get a carriage with beautiful horses. You’ll ride with me every day. So, try to make this fucking bearable, will you?”

“Trou de cul.” She mutters under her breath.

“What was that?” He asks with a cocked eyebrow.

“Never mind.”

“Let’s go.” He says as he slams the car door behind himself. He takes most of her new partner’s luggage, and she’s left with her carry-on and her angry cat in her hands.

Javier unlocks the door, and it’s almost like it protests with the noise it makes. But she doesn’t make any comment. The apartment is so unbelievably grey, but still warm, like someone just had left. But she didn’t ask questions. The man parks her luggage in the entryway, and she lets the cat out to explore. It spits at Javier before it runs away, tail up in the air.

“We leave at 7 AM tomorrow. If you’re late, I’m not waiting for you.”

“I won’t be.”

“Good. There’s a grocery store three streets from now. I hope you speak Spanish because they don’t speak English.”

“I do. Or else why would I take this job?”

“Right. Don’t play smart ass with me, chiquita.” He says as he clicks his tongue in disapproval.

“Thank you, Agent Peña. Now, if you’ll let me…”

“See you tomorrow.”

And just like that, he’s gone. She finally breathes. What a fucking asshole.

#exile #javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #javier pena x dea agent #javier pena narcos #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena smut #javier pena x foc #javier pena x female oc #javier pena x female reader

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sleepinglionhearts · 3 months

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Work things, OCs, and... yeah

#doodles #non-fandom stuff #oc art tag #don't worry about it beaumont sam usagiman is a kind creature #the demons in the last image... ah someday i will talk about the demons #they're designs for a thing that could either go the dating sim route or weird workplace comedy route #anyway. creatures.#if ur brave enough to ask about them i may actually respond #likely with my usual slow pace but i will respond eventually #the girl with the red hair up there named Dea #she's part of that strange fantasy idea i had a whiiiiiile back #maybe i'll post more about that too; i already made one post about them #I have some drawings and pages done in that world but... idk they need work and all #i just don't know if theyre interesting enough to worry over #ah the troubles of creating things

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soulslayer2020 · 13 days

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Congratulations!

You caught an Esther!

#pokemon #pokemon legends #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon oc #esther dea #volo #pokemon volo #pla volo #merchant volo #volo x oc

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marvelwitchergilmore · 1 year

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Durazno

Summary: Javier Pena x Fe!OC/Reader (Last Name: Becker) -> When you get a call at work, you try your best to hide your emotions but in the end, Javier is there for you.

Warning: Doesn't exactly follow the plot of Narcos, swearing, narcos-level violence mentioned, fluff, angst, Durazno is Peach in Spanish (according to Google Translate)

Every day was a new case, or, at least, that was what it felt like.

Someone would call with a tip on someone and someone would go and investigate it - see if it was worth while and what they would want in exchange. Usually, it was cash. Sometimes it would be a visa and on the rare occasion, it would be nothing. They’d either just want to be kept secret or have the cops do their job and promise they’ll put whoever behind bars when the time came.

But the call you received today was not one of those calls.

Peña was out on a break whilst Murphy was sat at his desk, smoking, waiting for Peña to get back with their food.

Your desk was just across from where Peña and Murphy’s was. Only, while they sat face to face, you sat on your own with clear view of Peña.

You had just come back from the copy room, dropping off the extra case paperwork by the boys’ desk, when your phone rang.

At first you looked around confused until you realised it was your phone and with stratigic moves, your crossed the room wordlessly before picking it up.

“Becker,” you answered.

Murphy watched you for a second before looking back to his files. In all honesty, he did try and listen to what was being said but you spoke so quietly that it would take a genius at lip reading to know what you said.

Something you had learnt quickly after joining the DEA was that nothing was secret. Nobody could afford it to be. So, you had learnt to speak quietly, quickly and clearly enough to know no one in the office could hear you and it swiftly became a private conversation between just you and the caller.

But it wasn’t until Peña came in that Murphy looked up. His partner tossed him his sandwich before making his way to his desk, only, once he reached the bottom of the stairs, Peña stalled in his tracks.

The conversation came to a quick end and you slammed the receiver down harsher than you had meant.

Within seconds you had opened your desk draw, placed your firearm by your side and strides towards your jacket that hung on the hook.

“Where are you going?” Peña asked.

You didn’t even look in his direction of Murphy’s. Your eyes were fixed on the doors ahead.

Part of you knew if you even thought about looking at Peña, he’d know more than what you wished even yourself to know.

“Out.”

Within seconds, you were out of the door and slipping into your car before tearing down the road.

Peña and Murphy had been having a slow day, mostly filled with typing and filing paperwork. You had been gone for hours, more than you had ever been gone and Peña hated that it worried him.

Those worries were not eased, either, when two high ranking military officers walked into the office looking for you.

Both Peña and Murphy had tried their best to find out the reason why they were looking for you - they could only both hope you hadn’t done something reckless or stupid. But no one was saying anything. Not even anyone in the office knew. And sometimes it felt like they knew anything and everything.

Peña had tried calling you but there had been no answer. He even called round your usual places looking for you - your apartment, the market stalls, the small cafe that him and yourself had found a while back when trying to avoid the hot sun of Columbia.

But you were nowhere to be found.

Until, nearly 12 hours after leaving, you turned up.

Your jacket was now draped over your arm, the baby hairs by your neck had curled due to the sweat from the heat outside.

Both Peña and Murphy had been glad they’d been stuck inside. There was less chance of dying from heat stroke. Even if they were bored out of their minds.

You had pulled your hair back into a messy ponytail but it didn’t stop the shorter hairs from framing your face.

You removed the sunglasses as you came down the step, watching as the two officers stood.

“Agent Becker?”

“That’s me.”

“We need to talk.”

You shared a look with the two men - maybe they already knew that you knew. After all, this was mandatory, coming to tell the family, wasn’t it?

You showed no other emotion on your face before you directed the two men into an empty office where they sat and you opted to stand. If you turned around, you’d face them and anyone would could see in through the windows. So, you kept your back to the two men and the window, whilst looking out the window in front of you and onto the streets below.

It was like you could feel Peña’s eyes on you the whole time. You didn’t even have to look back.

The only reason why you didn’t shut the shutters fully was because one; they were broken anyway, and two; it would only raise more suspicion. You didn’t need the office gossiping about your life. You were already one of the only females in the office who was an actual agent. You didn’t want more judgement or gossip.

You listened to the officers words as they told you the news you had already found out.

Of course, no official higher than a CSI or Coroner would know that you already knew. The call had come from a friend who wasn’t too far from the place. They thought it was better you found out of your own, rather than through some military official.

By the time they finished speaking, you turned back to them and thanked them for coming to you, to which they nodded with solem looks before replacing their hats and making their way out of the office.

They bid good evening to Peña and Murphy who only looked back to where you stood in the office, your attention fixed on the people outside.

You and Peña, from first meeting, had a connection. It was what made you great partners when working. You knew what the other was think or doing before it was said aloud.

Which was why you knew he was stood by the office door before he even opened his mouth.

“I’m good, Peña. Everything’s good.”

“Are you sure?”

You turned around once you knew that any tears that wished to make their way out were fully gone.

“I’m sure.”

Quickly, you made your way out of the door causing Peña to move back, but as you grabbed your jacket, Peña was by your side again.

“Becker-“ You moved away quickly.

“Tell Messina I’ll be back in tomorrow.”

Standing with his hands on his hips and a worried expression on his face, he called out to you again, but this time, with one foot on the step, you turned around.

“Durazno,” Peña hadn’t meant to say it too loud. After all, the story behind it was one just between the two of you. Maybe if others paid attention, they’d realise why, but it was something only he called you.

He didn’t have to say anything else. Just the look on his face was enough.

“Honestly, Javi.” You said in a slightly softer tone than before. “I’m good. Everything’s fine.”

All he could do is watch you walk away. By the time he returned to his desk, Steve’s eyes hadn’t left him once.

He’d heard Peña call you by that name a few times over the last year or so. Often it was only said late at night when no one was really in the office, or when Peña wanted information that you wouldn’t share with him - even when you wanted to. But whenever he said it, it was always affectionate.

“Do you think she’ll tell us?”

Peña pulled his chair in and folded his hands, scratching his brow, “I don’t know.”

You could be stubborn at times, Peña knew that. Whenever it came to something personal that you shouldn’t be dealing with alone, you were even more so. Peña knew that, too.

But it wouldn’t be too long until he found out the truth.

It took around a week before the papers would publish the names of those who had died in a shoot out.

There was always plenty of crime in Columbia so when Murphy was flicking through the paper, he didn’t take much heed to the crimes that had happened or else he’d never be calm.

After 20 minutes of reading, he threw the paper down.

“Fucking assholes. Three military boys dead in a stone cold shoot out about 2 hours out. Fuck.”

Pena, holding his cigarette between his lips, picked up the paper and fanned it out.

“Page 5.” Steve told him.

Flicking through, Peña eventually found it and when he did, it felt like the world finally levelled out.

Steve looked over after a few minutes of silence. Peña’s eyes were fixed on one name in particular.

“What? What is it?” Murphy asked.

That was when Peña looked up since you had hopped down the steps of the office and towards your desk.

You were busy with work so hadn’t spotted Peña’s eyes fixed on you as you moved about.

“Nothing.” Peña answered, tossing the paper back down. “Nothing.”

Thankfully, Peña’s phone rang with a tip on someone.

You still hadn’t mentioned anything. Maybe you would now that the article was out. But in all honesty, you were praying that Peña didn’t see the article. He was the only one who knew to link your name to one of the officers in the article.

And your chances were good since it wasn’t often he bought a paper.

But when you saw the paper on Murphy’s desk, you could only pray he hadn’t see in - or had forgotten.

But this was Peña.

When it came to you, he forgot nothing.

You thought you had gotten away with it, for a while at least.

When it came to personal things, you didn’t like talking about them much. You believed you’d be better at your job if you just ignored the feelings. Yeah, maybe feel sad once in a while, or angry. But you didn’t have that luxury of knowing that your anger would be accepted…by anyone.

You lose track of a CI, having no idea if they’re dead or not? Keep your emotions buried. You lose a partner on the job even though you had told your boss it wasn’t safe to split up? You bottle up any anger you have and take it out on the gun range.

By the time night fell, you found yourself swamped in work. It was only when Messina came out from her office and told you to go home that you realised how late it was.

“You are allowed to grieve, Becker.” She told you. “We all know what it’s like to lose someone. Nobody would judge you for taking a few days.”

Your voice was quiet when you spoke. You’d barely said anything all day, it was like you had only just woke up when you talked aloud.

“Thank you, Boss. But…”

You didn’t quite know what to say. Any family you had talked to was angry. Angry that he had died. Angry that he had joined the military in the first place. Angry that you hadn’t looked after him better.

Messina nodded. “Talk to Peña.”

Messina knew you two were close. Sometimes it felt like the two of you were more attached by the hip than Murphy and Peña were.

“I-,” you paused and looked down to your papers for a moment. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Talk to Peña.” She repeated. “You should at least tell someone about him. Have a drink, share a couple of memories. Grieve.”

You could do nothing but nod.

“Go home, Becker. Get some rest.”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

It took a little longer than 10 minutes but eventually you made your way outside and to your car.

His funeral would be back in the states in a couple of days. Maybe you’d grieve then.

Your drive home was silent. Usually, you’d play some kind of music to bide your time. But not tonight. Tonight the drive was completely silent. There was no noise apart from the rumbling of your car engine.

But the moment you pulled up outside your apartment block, you took a few minutes.

You couldn’t get out just yet. You needed to breath.

Slowly, you rested your head on your steering wheel and it’s listened to the noise outside. Someone was having a party a couple blocks away. You wondered what they were celebrating. Life? A wedding? An engagement? Promotion? Just because?

Soon, you found your body switching to auto pilot.

You climbed out of your car, shutting the door behind you. You reached into the back and grabbed your bag before shutting the door again and locking your car.

That was when you looked up to the steps of your building.

Peña slowly stood when he knew you’d spotted him.

How long had he been there?

“A short while.”

So you had said the question aloud.

You walked around your car and towards the steps and door of your apartment.

“How precise.” You mocked.

“Well, I am known for my transparency.”

That made you smile a little as you slipped your key into the lock.

Peña followed you inside, you locking the door behind him.

“What are you doing here, Peña?”

“I got worried.”

“Like I told you last week, everything is good.” You breezed past him and into your sitting room/kitchen, dropping your bag by the sofa.

“I know about the shootings.”

Well, there went your chance of hope that he didn’t know.

“I’m fine, Javi.”

“But you’re not.”

“How would you know what I’m feeling? You’re not me.”

“You’re right,” Javier said, defeatedly. “But I know you, maybe better than you think. Durazno, por favor.”

You couldn’t look at him. Not yet, anyway. You just rested your hands on your kitchen counter where the bottle of fresh orange juice you’d just grabbed from your fridge was dripping condensation.

“I can’t, Javi. Not right now.”

“Okay.” He agreed.

Removing his hands from his hips, he paced on the spot for a moment. Part of him wanted to hug you. The other wanted to leave you alone knowing you’d come and find him when you were ready to talk.

“Do you want— do you want me to-“

Neither of you really knew what the end of the sentence was going to be. Stay? Hold you? Leave? Make food? He knew you’d probably not eaten in a while since you’d been swimming in paper work all day.

“I’ll be okay, Javi.” You looked at him over your shoulder now. He could see where the tears in your eyes wanted to show but you were still fighting them off. “I promise.”

Javi looked at you and his heart broke.

For as long as he’d known you, you’d been tough. Tougher than any agent he’d ever known. Even in cases where he could no longer look, you went in for him. You dealt with the tough cases, you kept your emotions at bay as best you could.

He’d known you so long, he knew by the amount of holes in your targets how much you were really feeling.

But no one else did.

Peña was always there for you, even during the times you didn’t want him to be.

He knew you.

And you knew him.

That was how you knew from just the look in his eyes and the slight shift in his body language when he was looking at you that his heart was breaking, and watching yours break, broke his all the more.

You managed to pull yourself together for a few minutes, turning around and folding your arms across your body with a small, forced smile.

“Go home, Javi. It’s late.”

“Alright.” Javi moved after a couple of seconds, rubbing his mustashe and looking around him. “I’ll be seeing you.”

“Bye.” You’re voice came out faint as you watched him walk away.

The next few days were filled with longing and worried looks from Peña. He was watching your every move.

And in all honesty, was so Messina.

That was why she pulled Javier into her office when you had taken your lunch break.

“I need you to go with her back to the states.”

“Boss?”

Claudia intertwined her fingers and layer them on the desk.

“You and Becker are attached by the hip and since I’m the only one who can see the worry in your eyes every time you look in her general direction, I take it you know.”

Peña nodded.

“We both know that people grieve in their own ways but we also know Becker is one of the best agents on this team. I need to know that she’ll be fit to come back to work here with at least a little emotion attached.”

“What about my cases?”

“Murphy has agreed to take them on.” she stated. “I’m risking letting two agents leave to ensure both come back, not just one. Do you understand, Agent Peña?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.”

Peña caught the next flight out from yours, but you wouldn’t know this until a few days later when he, like both an angel and devil, appeared by your side at the funeral.

Everyone else had began walking back to your childhood home where they would have the final drinks that would probably disappear into the late night as they remembered him.

But you had stayed.

Your dress covered your knees and the heels your aunt had chosen were beginning to hurt your feet. God, why did shoes have to hurt so much? Weren’t they made to protect your feet? Not kill them slowly in blinding pain?

But you didn’t have much time to think because you heard someone steadily approaching from behind. At first, you thought it was the minister. Isn’t this the part where he tells you some shit about life and it’s wonders and how death just continues that? Life and death, no matter what, it’s just one big journey?

God, you hoped not.

And your prayers were answered because the person who stood beside you was not a minister but it was someone who you trusted with your life completely.

But he wasn’t meant to be here.

“Javier.” You’re voice came out shocked and you began to look around you. “Is-“

“Relax,” he told you. “It’s just me. Thought you might like a friendly face.”

Once you recovered from the initial shock that he was in the states, stood beside you and not sat across from Murphy in Columbia where you thought he was, you gave a soft nod and smile before turning back to the dirt covered hole in the ground.

“For what it’s worth,” you said after a long time of silence, “I’m kinda glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

That was when he took your hand in his. He watched your hand intertwined with his for a moment but when he looked up, your gaze was fixed straight ahead.

“When we were kids…we’d play by the park, just down the street.”

Javi knew which one she meant. He’d passed it on the walk down to the church.

“A couple years ago, we came back here for my cousin’s wedding. It had gotten too loud for my liking so, I took a walk and about 30 minutes later, there he was, walking up the park path with two beer bottles in his hands. We just…we stayed out there until dad came looking for us. Mom was driving him so mad,” you laughed a little as you pictured it in your head. “Just…everything about the night reminded me of when we were teenagers and just…he was there for me, you know.” You couldn’t stop the small tears that began to fall. “I should have been there for him.”

“Hey, no. Don’t think like that.” Javier squires your hand and pulled you closer until you were facing him. With his other hand, he wiped away the escaped tears from your face.

“I don’t know what I’m meant to do. He was my brother, Javi. He was the only one who-” you said trying your hardest not to cry.

“You grieve,” Javier told you. Swiftly, he pulled you in for a hug, his hand resting in your hair at the back of your head. “You grieve him.” Peña repeated. “And you remember him.”

After that, you gripped onto him a little tighter.

Neither of you cared how long you stood there. You grieved for your brother and all the memories you shared. And Peña would have stood all day and night if he had to.

You deserved to grieve. You deserved to cry. You deserved to be able to remember your brother without any judgment from anyone.

Eventually, you pulled away from Javier and he wiped the last few tears away. You both gathered there would be more later, but in that moment you were exhausted.

“Come on,” Peña’s voice was soft and calm. Slowly, he peeled himself from you for a moment to remove his blazer before putting it over your shoulders, securing his arm in the same place as you both began to make your way back to your childhood home.

Everyone was either falling asleep on the sofa watching old reruns or they were outside, talking and laughing through the tears of old memories.

“Come on,” Peña spoke softly again.

On the way down to the house, he’d gotten you talking about family and about other things to help distract you.

Taking your hand, he led you upstairs. Your other hand remained attached to the bottom of his shirt as he climbed the stairs.

“Which way?”

You pointed down the hall and he continued into the bedroom, peeling back the covers and finding you some pajamas that you had packed.

“Can you stay with me?” You asked as he places the clothes on your lap.

He was crouched down now, his hands still on the clothing. Your body was on auto pilot once again. Your fingers tracing his, tears in your eyes once more. “Please.”

After a moment, Javier nodded.

10 minutes later, he climbed into bed with you and lay by your side.

You didn’t quite know why, but he calmed you. Everything about him calmed you. Even in the most stressful situations at work, he calmed you.

His hand was tracing your hair absentmindedly, and once he knew you had fallen asleep, he placed a soft kiss to your head.

A few hours passed and neither you or Peña had moved from the position you’d both fallen asleep in.

It had been your dad, Frank, to open the door. He’d been woken by his wife, telling him to go to be before he got a bad back again for falling asleep on the recliner. He’d asked for you and she told him that she hadn’t see you in hours. Last she knew, some guy was approaching you as the service was wrapping up.

He was careful when opening the door and when he saw you covered and wrapped securely in the arms of the stranger, he then realised who the stranger was.

He’d heard the stories of a certain Co-worker. The same man you’d met years ago on a work trip.

In most recent months, he’d come to know one Javier Peña even if Peña didn’t have a clue who Frank was. Although, Frank could guess since he seemed to know about his son and your brother, he had a pretty good idea that Peña knew who the main people in the family were.

Softly, he shut the door behind him.

Tomorrow could wait for questions. Tonight, everyone needed rest.

When tomorrow finally came, you woke before Javi which was something. Sometimes it felt like he was up at the crack of dawn to beat the roosters.

But not this morning.

Carefully, you removed yourself from his grip, slipped out of bed, and headed into the en-suit bathroom. You didn’t fully close the door knowing the sound of a lock would wake Peña in an instant.

For a few moments, you stared at your reflection in the mirror.

Your eyes were less puffy, but sleep still remained in the corners. Your hair floated around your face and with the t-shirt you wore, your skin seemed like it was fading.

So, running the tap, you quickly splashed your face with water before turning the tap off and drying your skin.

By the time you finished, you just stood there for a few moments. It felt like everything was on a slant whilst also being grounded.

You’d lost people before, like this. But it…it never felt this way.

The moment you heard Isabella’s voice on the other end of the phone and what she was saying, it felt like your world was spinning g and you was doing everything you could just to keep it still and let you move.

Your eyes had been fixed on the office door and by the time you arrived, there were soldiers everywhere and CSI cleaning up the bodies.

People were yelling and taking statements about what had happened. Meanwhile, you could see the outline of three bodies in body bags on top of gurneys. And your eyes focused in on one.

In all honesty, the looked the same. But, for some reason, you focused on the second one. You just knew.

You quickly flashed your badge to get past the guards and flashed it to the CSI that was taking pictures.

If Javi or anyone else had been there, they probably would have told you not to look. You didn’t need to see your brother in that state.

But you needed to know.

The words came out of you quietly as you signaled to the bag. The Coroner opened it up and…you didn’t know where to put yourself.

There he was, three bullet hole in his chest.

“Do they know if it was a targeted attack?” You asked before repeating it in Spanish.

The consensus was no. In fact, your brother has been trying to save a baby from getting caught in the cross fire. Some kind of family feud in the middle of the street and a baby in its carrier had been pushed into the road.

Your brother had died to save a child.

He would forever be known as a hero.

Always.

You found yourself slipping from the memory as you felt a hand touch the top of your arm. That was when you saw Javi.

“Hey, you-“

You nodded quickly. “I’m okay.”

“Hey, wait.”

“What?” You quickly turned back, Javi taking your hand in his.

You both stood close to one another, your eyes searching his wondering what he wanted to say whilst his just stayed fixed on you. There was still that look of longing in his eyes.

He wanted to ask you a million questions and in his head, he was. But out loud, he spoke softly and said one thing with a smile.

“Good morning,”

You couldn’t help but smile back. “Good morning.”

Sentences were spoken wordlessly between you until finally you could hear clattering downstairs from your mom being up and making breakfast.

“We’d better-“

“Yep.”

Neither of you got dressed too much. Peña had changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel whilst you remained in your pjs top, just shoving on a pair of shorts in place of your joggers.

“Have you seen-“

You didn’t have to finish your sentence as Peña was already passing you a bobble as you scooped your hair up.

“Thanks.”

By the time you both made it downstairs, you took the pans from your mother. She wasn’t in any state to be doing anything, never mind cooking breakfast.

“No, I have to- I have to do this.”

You stood your ground. “Mom. Go and sit down. Dad’s in the living room. Go.”

Eventually, your mom gave in.

Usually, you were both as stubborn as one another and it would have been your brother who would have become the mediator between you both. A single word from him and your mom would melt. She’d go and sit down and be singing his praises.

In the kitchen, Javi helped you cook breakfast for your family.

One day, it would get easier. It would be something you’d always hold in your heart but not so much in your head.

But having Peña by your side, it was less tense. Less like a weight on your shoulders that you couldn’t show anyone because your knew it was safe. You knew it was safe to fall if you couldn’t take it anymore because Peña would be there to catch you.

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