#definitions stolen from google btw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefirstknife · 3 years

Text

SIGH

Myelin released a video today arguing that Osiris is already dead. I disagree with most of his arguments and also am not a fan of some of them in particular and I want to address this in case people watch and are confused. And I assume people will ask questions about it. I think Myelin himself is also confused about certain things he mentioned and isn't interpreting them properly.

Disclaimer: obviously I am biased when it comes to this. I want Osiris to not die. This isn't an attempt to entirely disprove the theory that he may be dead already. Ultimately I don't know if he's dead. I'll do my best to look at it objectively and also address Myelin's points objectively.

I'll try to summarise Myelin's points and address them but you can always watch his video yourself to make sure I didn't interpret him wrong.

Now, Myelin's main point is that Osiris was possessed by Savathun instead of Savathun making a meat puppet/clone in his image or simply shapeshifting into him. His first proof is the Wolftone Draw bow lore. We've all read the lore and Myelin also reads the lore.

First, he wonders how Osiris is seeing what Savathun is doing. Obviously, we have no answer for this yet. Myelin's position is that this is proof of him being possessed and him trying to break through the possession. He also says that some of it seems like "Osiris views his own body in a third perspective." Which I agree with!

What I disagree with is Myelin saying this could mean Osiris' "physical body was destroyed" and that he may be floating around in some form similar to Toland. I'm not sure why complicate the matter in this way when the most obvious answer to this is simply that Savathun has created a clone or shapeshifted into a form of Osiris and the real Osiris is trapped somewhere. The lore seems to indicate this pretty clearly to me:

I cannot speak, cannot breathe, I reach for Sagira but then I remember… I form a fist but feel nothing, I am bound, and as I thrash the images cut fissures through my mind—

And:

She has stolen my form, my voice, but someone will see my failure and cast her out… they MUST—

These seem to me like he is somewhere and he is seeing through his clone's eyes at certain points. It would fit Savathun's MO to torture him in this way. She assumed his form and the real him is bound elsewhere, somewhere safe. I've said so before, and it turned out to be true: Savathun is using Osiris as a bargaining chip so possessing him would be much riskier to her plan than simply keeping him imprisoned somewhere where we can't get to him and where he can't break free from possession. It would make no sense for her to kill him.

As for how he's seeing things if he's not possessed: Savathun is THE Witch Queen. She has exhibited a wide array of magical and paracausal abilities, including the ability to shapeshift and watch others through objects and living beings. Osiris specifically says that he is "bound" and that the images of what she's doing "cut fissures through his mind" and that he's "thrashing," as well as asserting that Savathun "has stolen his form." If he's bound somewhere in her throne world, she may very well be using some sort of Hive magic to inflict images she wants him to see upon him. Just enough to allow him to know that he is a prisoner.

I'm not sure why Myelin only makes two positions: either he's in third perspective without a body like Toland OR he's possessed. The third option is right there: Savathun assumed his likeness.

That brings both Myelin and me to his next point which he positions as the "real turning point" for him. It's from the Chrysura Melo autorifle:

Savathûn, physical form a twisting instar, emerges from the shadows and crawls over the shattered pieces of the Ghost. She reaches toward the ruined man.

Myelin focuses on the bold part, a specific word: "instar." This is a nice catch btw, something I haven't noticed before. He describes what an "instar" is. Tw bugs for that link, but an instar is "a developmental stage of arthropods, such as insects, between each moult (ecdysis), until sexual maturity is reached." Savathun's physical form is described as a twisting instar at this point and Myelin says that she is in the stage of changing herself into a new form. He also says that in this form she "needs a new skin" and therefore steals the skin of Osiris aka possesses him.

But from all the googling and research I've done, I can't seem to find any examples of insect instars needing to acquire a new outside source to change their forms. They simply exist in one larval form (instar) and then change into another as they outgrow the previous one. They don't have to find another body or a host to inhabit.

Seeing as Myelin bases most of his theory on this specific word, I have to challenge that because this is simply not what that word means. Savathun, in the process of changing from one instar to another, doesn't have to possess Osiris. She simply has to change her form from one instar into another. It's still her and it's more likely that she looks to the real Osiris to use him as a model for what new form she will take.

This is why the Chrysura Melo lore page is describing "Osiris" as being uncertain on his legs and confused by human behaviours and slowly falling apart over months and months of existence: this is Savathun's instar in the shape of Osiris which is reaching the end of its lifespan and at the end of that lifespan, Savathun has to shed that instar and turn into another. Generally, moths have a few instar forms before turning into a cocoon and then later emerging out as moths. This is a nice page with pictures, but again, tw for bugs. She has clearly reached the end of her Osiris-instar and shed it away when Mara trapped her in a chrysalis cocoon where Savathun is continuing to grow, like a moth, to eventually assume the form we see in The Witch Queen. Some examples that, to me, allude to Savathun existing in a Osiris-instar and how that shape is unfamiliar to her:

Osiris takes a shaky step forward.

...

He passes the bottle, and Osiris, hands numb, puzzles at it. His mouth hangs in a half-smile before he takes a long drink, slaking a bone-deep thirst.

...

When Saint places a hand on his forearm, Osiris holds impossibly still just to see what the other man will do.

...

Osiris stumbles as he walks through the Last City.

Savathun is describing her life as Osiris and it's clear, from this and other huge amount of lore, that she was very unfamiliar with the human form and that, at the end, it started falling apart on its own. Which is what would happen to a instar of an insect, forcing it to switch into a new stage. In Ripe, she also specifically states "I am ready earlier than anticipated." In the same lore page, she also mentions a lot of really weird descriptions of how her "form" is dissolving essentially and "I clench the gangling black mass that threatens to unspool recklessly from within this shell of flesh. My new arms are too thin, too weak. My new shell still bound with thick mucus." She's barely holding it together. I'm not sure why Osiris' real human body would've been doing this.

There's another aspect from Ripe and that is that she mentions her worm inside of her:

I feel this form splitting beneath its wrappings, held together weakly by wet strands of sinew. And from deep inside, stirred by that latest scrap of deception, I hear the oily growl of the Worm.

This is how we know that her Osiris-form is her. Otherwise, Osiris' real body would've been possessed by Savathun who also holds her worm and that's more than convoluted. What we're looking at, presumably, is Savathun's instar which always has a worm at the center and evolves into other forms around the worm itself.

I'm sorry if this is rambly, but I just really can't see how possession would be possible, especially when based on insect morphology. As a last addition to the whole "instar" business which seems to be the center of Myelin's theory, I want to take a look at the word itself. It's a Latin word, and well... :

īnstar n sg (indeclinable, no genitive)

image, likeness, resemblance

counterpart

worth, value

an equal form (of)

of equal weight/size/form (to)

By the Traveler this can't be happening. Once again I am caught in the euphoria of analysing Latin words being used in Destiny. By all definitions, except maybe number 3, this alludes to a clone. An image of something. Resembling something. A likeness. Counterpart. An equal form of...

Savathun's insect-instar form fashioned in the likeness of Osiris. Not Savathun infecting Osiris: Savathun morphing herself into a counterpart of his form.

With that whole thing done, Myelin focuses on the infamous sidearm Spoiler Alert. It has a description which is just: "Someone is going to die." Myelin uses this as proof that, well, someone is going to die because the last time this gun was issued, Cayde died.

The problem here, even if we're taking this as a serious lore hint, is the timeline. Originally, Spoiler Alert was issued in Warmind. Cayde-6 died in the expansion after Warmind.

Spoiler Alert being issued in Season of the Lost would then be an equivalent of telling us someone is going to die in The Witch Queen expansion.

What does that have to do with Osiris? The position Myelin takes in this whole video is that Osiris is already dead. Not that he will die in The Witch Queen: that he has already died, perhaps at the start of this season when Savathun transformed off-screen OR even further back, at the end of Immolant, when she possessed him. This makes no sense with his other position, that Osiris is observing what Savathun is doing: how, if he's dead and why would we even get this lore if he's dead?

Most of all, Spoiler Alert, if it's alluding to a future death of a major character, cannot allude to Osiris having died before the gun was re-issued OR to him dying literally on the day the gun was re-issued. What kind of a warning is that? If they really wanted to allude to Osiris dying with this gun, the gun would've had to have been re-issued in Season of the Splicer as the final possible season to "warn us."

If Spoiler Alert is telling us some important character will really die, it's telling us this will happen in The Witch Queen. I can't imagine a situation where we save Osiris in this season and then he dies in the next expansion. Kinda pointless plotline. And it also does not fit with the rest of the video which is telling us that Osiris is already dead and Savathun is bluffing about having him as a bargaining chip. I am also not in favour of the theory that we will not find the real Osiris this season and that this plotline will stretch into The Witch Queen because that would be almost a year of grappling with the same plot of "we have to find Osiris." So whatever happens to Osiris, we will know this season. Which means the Spoiler Alert gun is of no relevance to the outcome of the Osiris plot.

The next point Myelin makes is the cutscene from week 1 of Savathun talking to us. He focuses on the image of Osiris looking kinda dead, with moths flying around him and one moth coming out of his mouth. This image is a better argument than any of the above because the imagery here is very clear. No room to misinterpret this really, we literally see Osiris being half-skeletal with a moth coming from his mouth.

However, if we take the position that Savathun made a clone, then the "dead" Osiris in this image is just that clone being dead after it fell apart and Savathun had to transform. The moth coming out of his mouth is probably what this is supposed to symbolise: Savathun outgrowing her Osiris-instar and assuming a new form, currently cocooned in Mara's chambers.

Not to mention that she literally says she "assumed his shape." Not "took his body." She "assumed his shape" to be "more pleasing to our eyes" so she could "guide our victory" against Xivu Arath. Obviously she couldn't guide us if she looked like the Hive. Instead, she morphed into a shape that looks like Osiris and kept him to herself, possibly for information as well as a bargaining chip.

The next part is something I heavily dislike as a point from Myelin.

He starts by saying how there's a trope in movies where you get attached to a character and you just have a feeling that something bad is going to happen to them because the narrative is making you form a bond with that character. And at first I thought he'll say that the narrative has been doing this with Osiris, which is WEIRD, due to how generally disliked he is in the fandom, mostly due to people misunderstanding him, but also due to other reasons which have resurfaced ever since he's been officially confirmed as a gay man in a relationship with Saint.

And of course, Myelin is not talking about Osiris at all. He's talking about Saint. He's saying that the narrative made us attached to Saint and that "they are setting up Saint-14 to lose Osiris." This is aggravating in several ways.

One, that trope about being attached to a character is generally about the character that is going to die. Bungie didn't make us get attached to Cayde so they can kill off Ikora. They made us attached to Cayde and then killed off Cayde. Making us attached to Saint-14 to kill off Osiris is completely disregarding Osiris as a character in his own right and Osiris is by far THE most powerful and important Guardian that has ever lived. To boil him down to an accessory of Saint's story is not just disrespectful to Osiris, it's just utterly wrong.

And second, essentially fridging Osiris for Saint's manpain is just homophobia. As far as I know, Myelin is not a gay man so him making this point is simply homophobic. We do not need Osiris to die to see Saint's pain and drive for vengeance against Savathun. Bungie has made that clear. It's actually never been clearer just how much Saint suffers right now, in how much pain he is and how angry he is.

It's been shown in the voice lines in the main quest, in the cutscene at the start of the season, in the week 2 radio transmission, in voice lines during various activities, in voice lines from other people talking about him (most notably Ikora saying he's "tearing up the system to find real Osiris") and in various lore tabs. We truly do NOT need more affirmation to how much Saint is suffering. We surely don't need to ramp up the angst by killing Osiris off in order to send Saint into a more of a frenzy. His frenzy is already known and already underway. The man has tried breaking into Savathun's chamber to kick her ass already. He is "tearing the system apart." He is broadcasting live. He went on a mission with Mithrax to find Sagira's remains and the most likely place where Osiris went missing. The man is already on a crusade.

I don't think he needs to learn that Osiris has died somewhere, alone, months ago in order for us to see his pain. Or to cause more pain to us, the players. It's simply a completely insensitive way of looking at a story of two gay men who have been through enough suffering already.

I know people dislike and misunderstand Osiris. I know people absolutely adore Saint. I know people would get a kick out of seeing Saint going feral instead of him behaving in a very trope-shattering way by plugging holes in the Wall and feeding pigeons and singing songs to the children of the City.

I think those people don't understand Saint nor do they appreciate him as he is. They certainly have no respect for the man he loves or for their relationship that transcends time, space and reality. And if Saint knew that, he would definitely go feral on their ass first and foremost.

I'd like to think that Season of the Lost is a direct mirror of Season of Dawn. Two very important turning points in Destiny's story that are led by an undying love between Osiris and Saint-14. Just as Osiris risked it all and we all supported him in getting Saint back, right now we are all supporting Saint and risking it all to get Osiris back.

And as an important note, the story so far has been very clear to explain to us that we're looking for "the real Osiris." This is what this whole season is based on. We want real Osiris back. This alone disproves the theory of possession, but it also highlights that this season is about saving someone we've lost. Ending the season that's based on trying to find Osiris by telling us "oh he's dead" seems to be very much narratively senseless.

Speaking of narratively senseless, Osiris' death would not make sense yet. His arc isn't over. His questions and plotlines aren't over (and he has raised many of them in Immolant, which hasn't been followed up on because he got kidnapped). And speaking of Immolant, there is the following, from Sagira:

"Shut up! Listen to my words!" Her iris is bright with Light. "There are great things still left for you; don't lose hope in the darkness." She is luminant.

Osiris breathes the word, as if he could hold it back: "No." He would understand in time. She had seen it.

This seems like a pretty strong implication that his story is far from over. It would be quite a bummer if this was completely ignored and we're delivered Osiris' dead body at some point during this season.

Of course, I'm not discouting the possibility that Osiris will never be the same after this. It's likely that there will be lasting consequences if he's alive.

I am also not discounting the possibility that Osiris may as well be dead. I want to make that clear. It's possible. But I did my best to make a somewhat coherent analysis of why that is probably not the case and why Myelin's position in particular is flawed. And as I said at the start, I definitely am biased in a way that makes me hope that Osiris is not dead. I fully understand that and would not be opposed to people pointing out flaws in my argument if there are any. I am, genuinely, trying to be as objective as possible with this though, but as always, I could end up being wrong in the end.

And that is my TED talk.

#destiny 2 #osiris #savathun #saint-14 #o14 #lore vibing #long post #i am burdened with writing essays when lore youtubers make a video

111 notes · View notes

kae-karo · 3 years

Text

fic writer interview!

i saw @prince-liest do this and thus i will take ur 'tagging anyone who wants to do this' seriously lmaoooo (also hi btw hope ur well!!! 💜💜)

How many works do you have on AO3?

ahaha,,,,,159 lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

fdsjkkjlsfdklj as of today, 2,089,769

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

only three fsdjkldslfkj the phandom (dan&phil), bnha, and genshin!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

chosen (x) - zhongchi (genshin)

to love (and be loved in return) (x) - kaeluc (genshin)

little bird (x) - dabihawks (bnha)

feet don't touch the ground (x) - xiaoven (genshin)

i knew you were fire (x) - dabihawks (bnha)

honestly none of that surprises me except that little bird is still up there, although i think i owe that to sif (@the-final-sif) for sharing it around the time it got posted since it was partly inspired by her raptor stress grip post!!

the rest are all chaptered fics, which is mostly what i expected to be in the top 5 lmao

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes!!! always!!!! no matter what u comment, i will respond!!! and if i don't, it's probably cause ao3 didn't notify me properly or i didn't see it in my inbox or something

as for why, it's mostly to do with like...i know how hard it can be for some people to comment, even just a bunch of heart emojis or a 'i loved this!' or something short and simple? and it means a lot to me that ppl are going out of their way to say something nice, no matter how small, and it's really really important to me to acknowledge that

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

hmm,,,,,this is a hard one, cause for a very long time, my policy was that my fic would always have a happy ending? and for a long time, that was true!! but the dabihawks interaction (during the raid) broke me, and from an emotional standpoint, i think freeing icarus (x) is probably the one that has the angstiest ending of the two or so that i wrote in that time?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

u know i really haven't written any crossovers? it's normally not my thing cause my brain typically focuses on a single thing and doesn't really have the capacity to think about more than that, so i end up writing just au-style or fusion-style (shoutout to that one bnha but it was scooby doo fic i wrote - x)

i don't think i'd be opposed to writing a crossover but i'd have to be SUPER inspired by the idea and both fandoms lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha yes, i have. the only straight up hate i've received was on a kaeluc fic (surprisingly not because it was kaeluc, but bc i was 'mistreating' kaeya in the fic) - to be entirely fair, the commenter pointed out something that i hadn't realized myself, and it led to a second piece of the story that helped me tie up some loose ends, but...let's just say they weren't very kind about their feelings lmao

other than that, i had someone very upset because i didn't tag which character was bottoming in a fic (valid if that bugs u!) and they read through most of it before getting to the smut (and said that they enjoyed everything up to that point) then said they were 'disgusted' by it. i have opinions on that and a few other comments they made, but i will keep them to myself lmao

and beyond that, just a few ppl on my xiaoven fic saying that they were unhappy about the background kaeluc (which is tagged lmao) - really no hate whatsoever til genshin, honestly, which is...very hmmmm :) lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yep!!! mostly vanilla or vanilla-adjacent lmao i'm not super into heavy kink, although i know if epi reads this she's gonna call me out for being a monsterfucker bc of my dragon!zhongli smut :) lmaoooo but really i tend to write pretty vanilla smut! i also prefer to avoid any noncon/dubcon or hate sex or anything particularly angsty, just not my jam to write!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

hmm i don't think so? although i don't heavily monitor ao3 (or wattpad/ffn), so i can't really say that for sure lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! i've had a few fics translated to russian (little bird is one of them!) which is very sweet and i hope that anyone who prefers to read in russian has been enjoying those fics!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

alksdfjklsdf only once, and it's deadass how me and rose got together. we decided to co-write a podcast au fic for the phandom (x) and ended up flirting via google docs asldkfjkldsfj

What’s your all time favourite ship?

what a horrible question, making me choose between my children like this!!!! sdlfkjdskf tbh i'm not sure i have a real answer bc it changes as i go? and 'favorite' is so vague,,,,,favorite to read? to write about? to think about? asdklfjkjsdfk i really don't know if i have an answer, but i'll maybe say kaeluc for now lmao

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

well first and foremost, with only 2 exceptions, i never post a fic unless it's done. i tend to follow wherever my passion leads my brain, so i'm notorious for jumping around between stories and taking breaks from long fic and returning later on to finish them, and i know that i would not do well under the pressure of posting something unfinished and trying to finish it in a timely manner

that said, many wips sit in my google doc folder, but one is Well Known as the one that has followed me through both the phandom and bnha (rose keeps asking who i'm gonna switch the chars to in genshin, but i think it suits bakudeku too well to do that) - only the lonely survive. it sits at like 36k in my wip folder, and i adore the story dearly and i want very much to finish it, but it never makes it quite to the forefront of my motivation, and so it rarely if ever gets worked on...i hate the idea of 'never' finishing it, but it's unfortunately quite likely that i won't 😭😭😭

What are your writing strengths?

emotion!!! and immersion!!! it's my goal in a fic to make it as immersive as possible and saturated with emotion to help convey that feeling of being in the place of the pov character, and i think i do it pretty well. also just bc i feel a little obligated to say it - another strength is actually sitting down and putting words down. i know that's a struggle for a lot of writers and i often get,,,,lovingly bullied? i guess? lmao for being able to bash out a few k in a day most days

What are your writing weaknesses?

this isn't so much a weakness i guess but i am basically incapable of treating crack fic as crack. if i have a cracky idea, it will, without a doubt, end up turning into a Perfectly Serious fic somehow (notable 'crack treated so seriously that it's no longer crack' fics include: todoroki doing the freeze-the-ocean thing from frozen 2, 'shmigaraki', todo and denki get together bc of vine references, the league sells feet pics, shiggy and natsu own a nightclub/bakery, scooby doo but make it bnha, and dabi getting his ears pierced at claire's)

but in all seriousness, i think my main weakness is that i often get comfortable? and i'm not one to typically push myself forcefully out of my comfort zone when it comes to stories that i come up with on my own, which often means that ideas inspired by discussions with others are what prompt me to branch out and try new things?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think, like anything, it has its place? there are certainly stories where it makes sense to do that and even adds depth to a story, although i personally am not exceptionally comfortable enough with other languages (except maybe asl) to do that in fic myself without the assistance of someone very comfortable with that language lmao

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the phandom! not really my jam to write rpf anymore but it definitely got me started and i'm really grateful for my time writing there, as everyone was super supportive and kind, and it was really a perfect place for a beginner to get comfortable and practice

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

again, forcing me to choose between my children...i really don't know that i can pick one fic bc they all exist in such wildly different spaces? i poured my worldbuilding soul into the king of disaster series (mainly dabihawks - x), exile (dan and phil - x) was my first massively long fic, our hearts are heavy burdens we shouldn't have to bear alone (chayea - x) is probably my favorite character/character dynamic study, i'm exceptionally proud of the smut in chosen (zhongchi - x), the list goes on and on and on lmao like. i could probably list half my fics as favorites in some regard dsflkjdfsjkl

anyway, tyty bellamy for putting this on my dash so i could do it as well!!

tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this, i have so many writer friends slkdjfjklsdf but please please tag me if u do it so i can read urs!!! 💜💜💜

#writing

15 notes · View notes

fl-oralfawn · 2 years

Note

I just finished reading 🥐. I also had a question about the dni because it made me think of my own content in terms of being unsourced. So the main thing I do on my blog is put together agere outfits on an app in my phone. I usually take pictures from clothing items on google and I don’t really say where the pictures are from or what brands own them. Do you think this would be stealing content from others? Because I really don’t want to do that, so if I am I would like to change that. Sorry for the long ask 😅

hiya!!! first thank you so so much for reading my pages💓 i really appreciate you taking the time to do so c: ohoh and also you never have to apologize for long asks i never mind!!!

as for the rest of your question, outfit boards have always been weird for me to have an opinion on!! yours are very wonderful btw it looks like you put a lot of work into them! 👗 i think if the clothing/accessory photos are product images from large, well known brands/fast fashion, sourcing isn’t really necessary. like if you can go onto a well known store’s website and look up the exact picture you’re using, linking to those pages would really just be you promoting stuff for free for companies that definitely don’t need any free promotion.

but i would recommend looking over the source of each picture you’d like to use and see what kind of business it comes from. because something you want to look out for is if you’re using pictures of clothing/accessories from any small businesses. if the product you’re using a picture of is from a small business i would say you should definitely include the source.

i feel this way because small business owners often do all parts of their business, including taking product photos. and small business owners need and deserve exposure a lot more than large brands/fast fashion. so ya in that case i personally feel credit should be given to them since it’s both their photo and their product and they’re not getting paid by any larger company to take that photo like a photographer would get paid to photograph items for a large brand. exposure is how small businesses make a living.

another thing i would recommend sourcing is pictures for moodboards if those are something you’re gonna continue to make! places like google and pinterest are pretty much just full of stolen art and photography, often from smaller artists that also rely on exposure to make money. so it can be helpful to use websites that have all free use photos instead. i know there’s posts that have gone around on tumblr about websites for creators of moodboards that are like that and i can try to find some if you’d like!

it’s really great that you want to make sure you’re not using stolen content and i hope this helped!! and see, no need to be sorry for a long ask because i gave a really long response ^^ i hope you have a wonderful day!!💓

#fawn💌answers #bravelillo24

2 notes · View notes

the-acid-pear · 3 years

Text

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

#luly talks #btg #having a shitton of fun #the anime is NOTHING compared to the manga #the only good thing about the anime is the voice acting which is just on point #but everything else SUCKS man #they made me hate my man Spec and now im seeing he wasnt as nearly as annoying as in the anime #AND THEY BUTCHERED SO MANY FACES... EVERYONE WAS SO FUCKING UGLY #HANAYAMA... KATSUMI... EVEN BAKI WAS MAD UGLY 😭😭#but everything is better now ☺️#also i hit the limit of letters again 🥴#baki liveblog

9 notes · View notes

storm-and-starlight · 3 years

Text

tagged by @handwrittenhello -- thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3?

14 works total!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

137,563 words total. Honestly, that’s bigger than I expected!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Technically I have written for nine fandoms, as listed on the Fandoms section of my dashboard, but in actuality it’s three, maybe four -- Supernatural, Doctor Who, The Witcher, and maybe Dragonriders of Pern

What are your top five fics by kudos?

All of these are Witcher fics, btw.

1.) Death and Destiny, Heroics and Heartbreak 2.) The Fear of Falling Apart 3.) Forever Wanting More 4.) I’ll Sip The Sunlight From Your Eyes 5.) Scream “I Won’t Forget You”

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I’m not always the best about it, but I do in fact reply to comments as much as I can (bar the “pls update” ones I find them. upsetting.)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Inevitable, actually -- what would happen to Dean Winchester if season 6 never happened, from the angstiest perspective possible.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I have written One crossover, total, and it’s an angsty SPN/Arrowverse crossover written, as always, post s5 of Supernatural where Sam never came back from hell.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have not, and I hope never to!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! For some reason, it’s usually vaguely-nonhuman (merpeople or a/b/o are the two I’ve posted so far), but I’ve written plain vanilla smut as well. I don’t do kink though, I’m afraid.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so? But if anyone ever notices please tell me lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but again, if anyone would like to please tell me!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

This varies based off of which fandom I’m in (current fandom is all-time favorite lol), so right now that’s Geraskier to the very bone.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Probably the Pern AU, actually. I really like the idea but it’s just. so long and so much and I’m not as invested in it as I was.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, imagery, prose, and character (voice and characterization) -- I’m particularly pride myself on my style of prose, and worldbuilding is one of my massive passions. I very much adore coming up with backstories for people and places and all their funky little traditions while also trying to make it fit with the tone of the world itself... I love worldbuilding.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot and symbolism but mostly plot -- I really like really tightly-plotted fics with a lot of interesting twists and foreshadowing, and that is... very hard for me to do. And then my brain just doesn’t seem to want to comprehend symbolism, or having something in a story mean something else that it is, or being representative of something.... I’m working on it, but I’m very literal-minded a lot of the time.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I would only do it with a language I spoke, or with a language a close friend spoke so I could ask them for help, and also it’s just never come up in any of my fics before, so....

I don’t super care when other people do it, but like. at the very least don’t just google translate and stick it in the fic randomly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Well, there was an HTTYD fic I wrote when I was nine, but in true honestly the first fandom that I wrote and posted for as being part of the fandom was Supernatural.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Most definitely my lovely, poetic, all-the-feels-I’ve-ever-had-about-selkies-and-the-sea-and-letting-people-go The Fear of Falling Apart, my adored selkiefic.

tagging @stars-in-my-damn-eyes, @teamfreehoodies, @trissmarrygoals, @ruffboijuliaburnsides, @heronfem, @violaceum-vitellina-viridis, and if you would like to do this as well, consider yourself tagged!

#storm's writing #about me #ask game #storm's fic #the witcher

4 notes · View notes

kezziablue · 4 years

Text

Okay, so this is my first time ever using tumblr! Hopefully I do this right lol So basically, I wrote something for this fourth of July bc I’ve had a lot of conflicting thoughts about it lately, and it helps me a lot when I’m able to get some of my thoughts out of my head. I posted it on my other social medias (which yall are super welcome to check out and follow btw, i’m @kezziablue pretty much everywhere) and honestly very few people saw it from what i can tell. But my sister (god bless her lol) read it and urged me to post it here on my (up until this point) unused tumblr acct. So, here goes. Hopefully none of this goes against any guidelines? Like I said, V NEW HERE lol. Also forewarning, this is super long (I have a lot of thoughts lol). But it is here if you wanna read it and if you’re maybe thinking some of the same things:

I guess I should start by establishing the fact that i am American, since no one here would necessarily know that since I haven’t posted yet. Anyways! That being said, in the past, I’ve always loved July 4th, I think especially once we moved overseas because it was fun that it was a holiday that was distinctly American and reminded me of “home” (or at least one home of many). And to be honest, a lot of my love is probably for the BBQ and other delicious foods (potato salad 🤤) that I associate specifically with July 4th. And it’s in the middle of summer, my favorite season. There’s singing, gathering, and festivity. For me, it was the time of year that usually meant I got to see friends that I normally didn’t because we lived so far away. And fireworks are cool (at least they used to be, sound sensitivity is a B). What’s not to like? Or so I thought?

This year is different. I mean, that much is obvious. It’s different in almost every way imaginable. The amount of time between this month and the last, much less this July 4th and the last, seems unfathomable. So much has happened. So much has changed. So then, it seems reasonable to expect that this July 4th would be different as well. And it is.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been asked what I’m gonna do for the 4th of July. Do I have any plans? And honestly, no, I don’t. The holiday hadn’t even crossed my mind. But with it being brought up, I started to think about it, and found that I was met with total disinterest in observing this holiday this year. It took me about 0.5 seconds to realize why: This year it just feels wrong. And celebration, honestly, is the farthest thing from my mind.

So I was left with the question: “do I celebrate the fourth of July this year?” And if not, what do I do instead? I pondered this, and didn’t come up with much. My brain is often so jumbled these days. So, in true millennial fashion, I did what I always do when I have questions like this that need answers, and I turned to Google, hoping maybe someone else was wondering the same questions I was.

I found several articles that were really helpful to me (and if i figure out how then I can link some if anyone wants to read). And I’m not gonna tell you what to think or feel or do. You decide what’s best and what’s true for you. And if this is something you care about at all, or if you’ve been wondering the same sorts of thoughts that I have, then I do encourage you to do your own research, figure out your own thoughts, decide what’s right for you. There really is a wealth of information out there that is so readily accessible.

So essentially, here’s what I’ve come up with, in deciding what’s right for me: this year I’ve decided that if I really care about America, the best thing I can do is educate myself about it. I can’t rely on school or media to tell me the truth. My twenty-four years on this earth and a lack of so much knowledge regarding both our history and the true current state of things have proven that much. I have to learn on my own. That’s my responsibility.

Even though I am black, I was raised in a white family, and by association and upbringing I also benefitted from white privilege in many ways (and this is something I’ll definitely discuss more as I continue learn and educate myself and process my own thoughts and experiences). I’ve spent almost half of my life living in countries other than the US, which also makes a difference. I’ve spent several years removed from many American realities and from feeling the immediate impact of prevailing issues that would have directly affected me otherwise.

I’ve come to recognize the weird duality of knowing that while I have experienced racism my whole life in many ways, I have also experienced white privilege in many ways. Because of my upbringing there were many times when, even when faced with racism directed towards me, I could turn away and say “it shouldn’t be this way”, thinking that my denial ensured that it wasn’t that way simply because I didn’t want it to be. It took a lot of learning (much of it still ongoing) to realize that the only way to truly eradicate racism is to face it head on.

So I can’t ignore the way things are right now (and have been for hundreds of years). And for me personally, I can’t use my breath to sing about American freedom while a man chokes out “I can’t breathe” as he is murdered by American police.

I can’t celebrate an ideal and ignore the directly opposing reality. Let freedom ring? When there are children being detained? Let us come together? When there are families being separated? “God bless America my home sweet home”? When we’re living on stolen lands? Sweet land of liberty? When the US has the highest rate of incarceration in the world? One nation, indivisible? When human rights and national safety become a political opinion instead of a given? Liberty and justice for all? When people of color are being disproportionately murdered by police who are not held accountable unless there is massive public outcry (sometimes not even then)? When we have laws that state that some people have the right to healthcare while others don’t simply based on who they love?

Maybe some of you have these freedoms and would like to celebrate that. But I don’t believe that any of us are free until all of us are free. So I’m not going to celebrate freedom today, because we don’t have it yet.

This is what I have decided is right for me. This isn’t me saying that you’re wrong if you choose to celebrate July 4th today. But I do ask that you be informed when you do so. Celebrate the freedoms that some of us do have, but don’t be satisfied, thinking that because some are free all are free. Maybe take a little time today to learn about things like:

-our country’s significant racist history

-the history of the peoples from whom this land was stolen

-the epidemic of missing and murdered indigenous women and girls

-systemic and institutional racism

-police brutality

-state-sanctioned violence against people of color

-trans black women being killed

-the current normalizing of mass death by virus

-massive income inequality

-immigration detention facilities

-the prison industrial complex

-the school to prison pipeline

...and that’s just me naming a few of the things I can think of immediately. There is literally so, so much injustice in this country. So much oppression.

I can still absolutely acknowledge that we are a free nation in a lot ways that many other nations don’t experience. But the honest truth is that we’re a nation fighting for freedom yet built on racism and oppression. The freedoms we do have are guaranteed to some, and conditional to so many others. And so there is still so, so much wrong in this country that prevents us from fully experiencing “liberty and justice for all”. This isn’t me saying “wow. America is the worst”. This isn’t me ignoring the liberties that many of us do have. This is me acknowledging that in a number of ways it is (or is intended to be) good. But it’s not good enough. And it never will be, until we’re all free to fully access and enjoy our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

#blm #blacklivesmatter #blm movement #black lives have always mattered #blacklivesalwaysmatter #black lives fucking matter #4th of july #thoughts #july4th #july 4 2020 #independenceday #america #american #black lives matter movement #noneofusarefreeuntilallofusarefree #freedom

23 notes · View notes

curtangeled · 5 years

Photo

This part is mainly them breaking down what the King and Queen told them, Rosencrantz having a moment of greed where he imagines how they might be rewarded and Guildenstern completely ignoring the material aspect to play with the idea of a “royal retainer” - my favorite versions are the ones where Guildenstern imagines the “royal retainer” as a physical thing that he is holding in his hands.

So, instead of going deeper into this section. I’m going to talk about the first Rosencrantz/Guildenstern fan fiction I found because I feel like this section really influenced that writer.

So, the first few years Rosencrantz/Guildenstern was my OTP I couldn't find anything. I mean ANYTHING. Slashfiction.net only had a request for Rosencrantz/Guildenstern. FanFiction.net didn’t have anything but a kidfic that a bunch of assholes jumped all over “They’re fictional characters and don’t have a past that’s the whole point. Did you even understand the play?” ON A FUCKING FAN FICTION SITE!!!! Dicks. Let people have fun.

For those years, I literally spent probably 90% of my time on the internet searching for Rosencrantz/Guildenstern fan fiction using various search terms and mostly finding other people going “Why doesn’t someone write Rosencrantz/Guildenstern.

Now, I know someone is going be a smart ass and say “Why didn’t you just write your own?” - because fuck you that’s why.

Let me explain this to you:

My writing anxiety is so extreme it carries a skateboard. eats pizza and says “Cowabunga” instead of speaking the proper Queen’s English.

I literally have life altering levels of anxiety around writing. Once someone left an rude comment based on a misunderstanding of what I wrote and I was so affected I was bedridden for days and it took me months to be able to write again.

I’ve been trying to decide if I’d already written about this fic on this blog in any but the most abstract way, and I don’t think I have because when I first started writing on this tumblr all those years ago fan fiction was a severe anxiety trigger for me, I couldn't even go on AO3 without having a panic attack. The idea of being the only person writing in a particular category of fic is not for me.

That’s one of the things I love about the Jeeves and Wooster fandom, there are so many stories I could feel a little anonymous,

Back to the topic at hand:

So about, I would say, about 6 or 7 years after I first started searching for Rosencrantz/Guildenstern fan fiction, I finally found one. Not exaggerating.

I even remember the google search term that led me to it: Guildenstern Hamlet orgasm.

I unfortunately am no longer clear on the title. It was either “The Stone Beds of Elsnore” or “The Stone Beds of Wittenberg”. Maybe it was something related to France? The author for some reason thought Hamlet was going to university in France (it was Laertes who went to school in France, btw), not Germany. The fact that I don’t remember the title should tell you that this will not end with a link to the fic (in fact if you recognize it and know where it is PLEASE TELL ME).

I know getting Hamlet’s school wrong seems like a big mistake, but I’m not going to bitch out the only fucking person writing a fan fic in my fandom for getting something like that wrong even if it does kind of affect the color of the whole fic.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were the primary characters and they first see Hamlet standing on a bunch of tulips and say “He looks like he’s standing in tulip blood.” - one of my favorite fucking lines. Hamlet is the new student. They’re both kind of attracted to him.

Somehow or another they end up hanging out with Hamlet and they become friends. More accurately, Guildenstern and Hamlet become friends and Rosencrantz is tolerated.

So we get a scene where Rosencrantz and Guildenstern talk about this and Guildenstern reassures him that while he enjoys Hamlet’s company, Rosencrantz is still his boy.

There is a line where Guildenstern mentions that Rosencrantz is “so sweet to kiss” that I think I might have stolen at least once.

Its implied their relationship is mostly romantic and only sorta sexual? There definitely seemed to be an underlying thing that they hadn’t gotten too sexy together.

So now Rosencrantz has gone back home for a holiday. Hamlet and Guildenstern are having a picnic in a graveyard drinking and talking (which is SO FUCKING AMAZING that I still get a big smile on my face thinking about it) .There are some great lines in this scene and I don’t remember most of them except in the vaguest manner.

Its revealed somewhere in here that Rosencrantz is a merchant’s son - his dad built ships. I think this fanon is a little silly, but I like the thinking that went into it.

There’s a pun involving “bred” and “bread” that the author explains from Guildenstern’s point of view and I appreciate that because I probably wouldn’t have picked up on it.

The wine is flowing and things start to get sexy.

There’s a great character moment before he and Hamlet begin sexy times where Guildenstern worries that he might be the butt of a very unfunny joke.

Hamlet and Guildenstern have mutual sexy times and after Guildenstern feels kind of bad about it and as a result Rosencrantz and Guildenstern hang out with Hamlet a lot less.

Hamlet is not happy about this - as I recall its either implied or directly stated its because he sees Rosencrantz as “lesser” somehow.

So he goes up to Rosencrantz like “Hey just so you know, Guildenstern hit on me while you were gone. Told him no though.”

Rosencrantz doesn’t really know what to do with this so Hamlet implies that he told Guildenstern no because Hamlet really wanted Rosencrantz. And then invites Rosencrantz back to his place.

Rosencrantz isn’t really picking up on what’s happening when they get to Hamlet’s home so Hamlet starts kissing him aggressively and its implied they have sex. Afterwards Hamlet gets really hateful towards Rosencrantz and kicks him out.

I remember the first time I read it being like “And then what happens?”

Oh man, I loved this fic so much. I’ve considered trying to rewrite it from memory but there are so many lovely little details that I couldn’t do justice.

I bookmarked it. I saved it to my computer, naturally. I remember once sending a link to someone as a rec. All well and good, right?

And here is how I lost it after just a few months with it:

Unfortunately I didn’t back up my bookmark (which I could just kick myself for). I thought I did - I swear I thought I did. I used delicious back then and I had a bunch of other completely useless bookmarks that got saved.

I’m not sure in what exact order this happened anymore but the computer I saved it on died and Google changed up its algorithm so those search terms didn’t bring up that story anymore. I couldn’t dig up the email that had the rec link (back in those days email tended to be deleted automatically after some time). The only other computer I had access to I had never looked at the story on. I never even got it printed which is the part that really drove me up the wall because I had JUST gotten access to a printer and was looking for it because I was planning to print it that day..I actually held onto the computer that I had the story saved on for a few years in the hopes I’d be able to come up with the money to have the memory extracted but it never worked out.

Here are the details about the author I remember: I’m 90% sure it was a geocities account (attempts to look at geocities archives haven’t come up with anything yet). The author had a really long Buffy story, and a poem about looking in the mirror with wet hair and feeling like a mermaid. This would have been probably 2003-2004 and the author acted like it was an old story she had just lying around.

It was several more years before I found another Rosencrantz/Guildenstern story and even then it was mainly drabbles on Livejournal. This was the only lengthy story I found that had a plot and sexy times before A03.

I’ve tried to find this fic periodically, searching for lines I remember, retrying my old search terms. Ah well I guess it happens.

1 note · View note

leaveharmony · 5 years

Note

Btw they've changed their url to lijgirl25

Yeah, probably.

I appreciate the heads-up nonners, honest & truly I do, thank you for bein' on the side of right and true. But I'm working on being zen about it tbh. What I wanted to do and was excited to do tonight was work on some lil clothes for my Tana bear, but what I ended up doing was stewing in anxiety and rage bc some grown-ass woman never learned not to steal ppl's creative content & claim it as her own.

There's shit-all I can do that'd convince her to admit she stole those gifs/captions from me and I don't think I can grieve it w/ Instagram either. She obviously thrives on attention and loves acting like an innocent victim of baseless persecution. So yeah. I mean I could message her followers and defenders with the indisputable evidence, I could burn up energy and time trying to get the posts removed, I could knock myself out trying to right a blatant wrong, I could hunt her down and tattoo "plagiarist" on her lily white forehead (assuming those pics were actually her, of course! Can't trust anything a thief posts!), but but the thing is...

I can't control what she stole from me. She took my work and my words & pretended both were hers. She probably will again. If not from me than from some other poor soul. I can't prevent it. But I can prevent her from stealing my time and balance and peace of mind and recovery. She knows exactly what she did - nobody saves gifs and the caption that accompanied them and ~forgets~ where they came from. She even said "I found it on tumblr," so this isn't an innocent mistake, it's a deliberate act...she stole them for attention and keeping on giving her attention is clearly what she wants, so...fuck her tbh. Shrug emoji. It sucks and it's not what I want - I've actually had ppl repost stuff in error cos they found it stolen elsewhere - some are friends now! Cos I ain't unreasonable and I get that shit happens sometimes when you'e down a google hole or w/e. I get that I have a hair trigger temper in a few things and this is definitely one of them, oh my god I was seeing red all day.

But some people have absolutely no shame about ripping ppl off, and we clearly have one here...so all I'm doing is staying pissed about one more shitty thing out of my control. And that isn't gonna get Tana-bear his pants sewn!

So I'm trying to be zen. I really am. I dunno that I'ma succeed in that regard, but I am trying.

1 note · View note

bad1dimagines · 7 years

Text

Allllllright so here we are, as promised, a masterpost of some of the crazy stuff that has happened in the One Direction fandom since the beginning of time. This list definitely isn’t exhaustive because I’m pretty sure it’s virtually impossible for someone to remember absolutely everything so feel free to message me/reblog with additions, but with that said lets get going:

1) #LETNIALLSING

off to a great start!!! this hashtag was started during a one direction performance pretty early on in their career, when fans noticed that Niall’s mic pack had been turned off during his solo. people immediately thought that it was management (shocker) who turned off his mic because they didn’t think he was talented enough to have a solo during their live shows, and so #LetNiallSing (LNS for short) was born. fans created a petition on change.org (seriously) so that Niall could have his fair share of solos during 1D’s performances, and tons of fan videos and edits were made (example) -- they’re literally amazing please google them. turns out that during the performance that started #LetNiallSing, Niall had accidentally sat down on his mic pack which caused it to turn off which was why you couldn’t hear his voice, so LNS kinda just died. it’s a good memory though.

2) The time that fans “hacked” the CCTV at Auckland airport to watch One Direction wait at their gate

i don’t really have a lot to say for this one but here’s a pic

3) That time a girl "killed" her chihuahua so 1D would follow her on twitter

this is not real, it’s a little graphic so sorry about that but if you’re gonna blame anybody blame @ illumivato on twitter for tweeting this mess. so theres that.

4) Stalker Sarah and her accidental feature in the What Makes You Beautiful music video

Stalker Sarah (heres a little background info on her) (is she still around????) was basically a girl who had met like literally every celebrity and had a particular fascination with one direction

one day someone noticed that Sarah had made a surprise appearance in the background of the What Makes You Beautiful music video. I’m pretty sure this one isn’t real but its still funny and there were a lot of good memes about it back in the day (example)

5) Lewis Jones

Jumping a little ahead in time here, meet Stalker Sarah 2.0, LEWIS JONES. again, not a whole lot to say about him, more of a reminder that all of those pictures exist

6) @ PlasticBieber on Twitter

that one time in 2012 when an 11 year old girl made a twitter account to harass directioners online. here are some of her choice tweets:

and a video of her falling down and hurting herself????? (read the comments)

youtube

7) One Direction (Zouis) vs The Wanted

that whole thing was..... a lot, so here’s an article with a full timeline of the fight. also p.s. The Wanted blame 1D for their breakup which imho is funny to this day

8) That one pic of Louis and Eleanor where people were seriously trying to say that Eleanor was actually Liam in drag

not kidding, that happened. here’s the pic:

9) The Calder Triplets

This fancy little theory came out of ~2013. The idea was that 1D’s Management recruited 3 actresses to stand in as Louis’ girlfriend on a carefully calculated cycle for reasons that I’m not gonna get into on this post but you can easily google them.

Eleanor (the only actual Calder) apparently had 2 sisters, Gretchen and Tina, this was mainly because of a number of pictures in which Eleanor’s face looked different, or because of Eleanor’s height differing in comparison to Louis depending on the picture. Here’s a good post that’ll walk you through the whole debacle.

10) Mr. X

Mr. X was this anonymous twitter account that “”””predicted”””” stuff about One Direction and then one day he was like oh yeah btw someones gonna kill Harry and people freaked out and #HarryBeCareful was trending on twitter

11) Niall Violently Masturbating in Japan

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE. This is probably one of the funniest One Direction rumours in the world, maybe one of the best pop culture rumours of all time and I am not being dramatic. It is so funny like I don’t know how else to describe it it’s so good. LETS GET TO IT. The story is basically that while One Direction was on tour in Japan, a fan found Niall up in his hotel room “vigorously masturbating”, banging the walls, swearing, and yelling some phrases that could only have been brought to us by the comedy gods themselves; “wey hey”, “up the lads”, and “that’s the craic”. The girl apparently had a video and was blackmailing Niall, saying that if he didn’t “hang out with her” she would release the video.

This is (obviously) fake but it’s seriously one of the funniest things that I can think of at any given moment. Here’s a link to a masterpost of some of the jokes that came out if it. So good.

12) The fanfic about Harry that got published into a real legit book

I actually hate this one, I think it’s awful but it was dramatic at the time so here it is. For completely obvious reasons, Harry’s name in the story had to be changed, so the author changed it to Hardin. I’ll let you mull that one over.

13) One Direction’s trip to Australia when Liam had his underwear stolen straight off of his hotel balcony by some girls who also tried to break into his room

(read these from the bottom up)

this was also the day that this infamous pic of Liam looking for his underwear was born

and so was one of my fav moments of a 1D tour ever

youtube

14) Harry accidentally favourites some 18+ content on twitter

Harry was looking at some good old fashioned twitter porn when he accidentally faved a pretty graphic pic, and then in true Harry fashion made a joke about the weather and faved a bunch of pictures of puppies and kittens to cover it up. Here’s a decent timeline of that day, you can also check out #HarryDontLickAnything on twitter, and scroll down a bit in Harry’s twitter favs to see the aftermath (a.k.a the puppies)

15) Last but definitely not least, Conchobar Tomlinson

Before sweet lil Freddie Tommo (here’s a pic of him just because he is so cute that i cant stand it) was named for real, someone started a rumour that his name would be Conchobar, which is an Irish name that is apparently “pronounced like Connor”. I honestly dont know......but it was hilarious. Here are some of my fav tweets from that day

and there we have it, hope i reminded you of something you forgot about :)

#one direction #1d #harry styles #liam payne #louis tomlinson #niall horan #zayn malik #popular

4K notes · View notes

redvalravn · 6 years

Text

Lisamouthfilter.exe has failed to install

Mom: isn’t it amazing your cousins both have brown eyes and their baby has blue eyes? Me: that’s called recessive genes Mom: you used to have blue eyes like your cousin Me: and then they turned green, and my hair turned darker and you were upset Mom: what can I say I like what I like. I have preferences that doesn’t make me prejudiced Me: you are prejudiced. You make racist comments. Mom: I am not racist. It’s not like I’m a member of the kkk or anything Me: you don’t have to be a member of the kkk to be racist. Mom: that’s not true, I think it’s someone’s actions that make them racist Me: that’s not what racism is Mom: look I just think that statistically minorities commit more crimes Me: that’s generalizing, that’s racism Alex: well like think of it this way, if me and a person from the Dominican Republic apply for the same stockroom job, the guy doesn’t speak much English, we have the same qualifications though, but I’d still get the job Mom: because he doesn’t speak English Alex: but it’s a stockroom job, English isn’t required. Mom: it’s a matter of being educated. Yeah minorities have a harder time but they can rise above their circumstances. I have a black kid on my bus who is very nice, very smart. Alex: but black people and other minorities have a history of generations of shit like redlining and being passed over for jobs for white people Mom: so they have obstacles but it’s totally possible to rise above that Me: do you drive mostly black kids or mostly white kids Mom: white kids Me: because you live in CT, a rich state and it’s so much harder for a minority to live here as opposed to white people Mom: look okay I just don’t think it’s a mindset that makes you racist. Listen we got a nice brand new bus, very nice bus. There’s another black kid on my bus that cut up the back of a seat, and when we asked him why he did it he was like I dno... Me: why are you holding the actions of one kid to his entire race? Have you seen white kids get in trouble? Mom: of course Me: then see you’re basing your opinions of an entire race around 2 individuals. That’s what racism is Mom: don’t you want to live in an Area with more educated people and people like yourself? Me: no I don’t give a crap if people of other races live around me. Alex: you say this, yet we live in Boston, which is still very white and segregated Me: true Mom: Boston is still segregated? Alex: yes it is. Very much so. Mom: but Boston is a liberal city Me: that doesn’t mean anything, you can be liberal and still be racist. Alex: gran torino was an excuse for Clint Eastwood to be an old racist grandpa. Mom: what? But that was such a good and heart-wrenching movie. Me: I’ve never seen Gran Torino Alex: Clint Eastwood spent most of the movie calling the Asian family next door various racial epithets. the plot of the movie is that this poor Asian kid gets forced by a gang to steal Clint’s car. Clint goes all ptsd on him pulling out his old rifle and chances him. Clint then grudgingly tales the kid under his wing while continuing to insult him at every turn. After the gang rapes the kids sister. Clint decides to get rid of them by ticking them into murdering him because the only reason police would put a gang away is they killed a white person. Mom: but that doesn’t make Clint Eastwood a racist. Hollywood tends to be full of liberal people Alex: Mel Gibson is part of Hollywood and he’s still an asshole Mom: oh well Mel Gibson is the worst don’t get me started on Mel Gibson Me: well yes see mel Gibson is an actor and he’s still an anti-Semite, because he made anti-Semitic remarks Mom: I dno. I don’t have all the answers. Speaking of which what do you guys think about trump naming jerusalem as the capital of Israel? Me: I think it’s a move to please his base that think that it will encourage the rapture and the onset of the apocalypse Mom: The UN is anti Israel and keeps attacking them. Israel is trying to the right thing but no matter what they do they are attacked for it. Alex: the Israelis are more trying to appear to do the right thing while doing nothing. I think the UN picks on them because they are a democracy and there for can be influenced unlike say Saudi Arabia Mom: look jews were killed during the holocaust Me: what does that have to do with anything? Alex: see this is what I hate about people arguing about Israel is that someone brings up the holocaust when it’s completely irrelevant to what’s happening now. Mom: Well the Israelis are not murdering families while they sleep and stabbing people. Alex: that’s a minority of Arabs that do such things and there are conservative israelis that have attacked Palestinian settlements. Also the Israelis have killed far more Arabs than the other way around. It’s like a child fighting an adult. Until Israel shows restraint this will continue. Me: I’ve been to Hebron, in the area where it’s mostly Arab and the area where it’s mostly Israeli. The Arab area is full of soldiers on duty with guns. Mom: aren’t there soldiers everywhere in Israel? Me: yes, because everyone is required to serve in the military, but I’m saying that in areas that have more Jewish people it doesn’t feel like a police state Mom: Well I just see all these videos that Palestinians put out that they teach their kids to hate Israel and their government pays stipends to the families of suicide bombers. Did you go to the golan heights? Me: yes Mom: did you know that the people on the other side used to shoot Israelis from across the border Me: yeah because they felt like their land was being stolen, which it was Mom: My cousin Avi who is in the Israeli defense force says they show restraint when they can and they even warn Arab people by dropping leaflets that they’re going to attack the area Me: yeah for all the good that does Alex: *laughs* but they still destroy the area. The problem I also have with that is that a lot of them dont have the means to get out. They also don’t say when they’re going to attack so people will try to get out at the wrong time and they end up being caught in the attack and they die anyway. Mom: Well it’s just that what your cousin said...btw I read that Palestinians use their children as human shields and then make videos that say they killed our children to foster hate. Me:...are you saying that they deliberately herd their children into the line of fire for the express purpose of being able to say look they killed our children? Mom: look I’m just saying that I believe what [some woman I don’t remember] says that there will be peace in the Middle East when Arabs love their children more than they hate Israel (She kept talking but at this point I got up to go to the bathroom and because I needed a minute) Mom: what did your tour guides have to say about this Me: I felt like we were being fed a lot of propaganda Mom: look any group of people will say what they need to say to survive, it’s only natural that they would put out propaganda. Me: of course they would only say good things because they want us to move there. Alex: yeah that’s the whole point to increase the Jewish population in the area by getting more Jews to move there Me: yeah it’s so they can increase the percentage of Jews and decrease the percentage of Arabs living there Mom: well the Arabs do a good job of killing themselves off don’t they? Alex: ...what the fuck?? Me: see THAT was a racist comment. Also you keep saying Palestinians plural, like it’s the entire group, when really it’s only a few Arabs that do this. Mom: well the Palestinians... Me: see you keep doing it. Mom: I mean the few Palestinians that stab people and suicide bomb Jewish areas Me: then say that. Say “the ones that do these things” because it’s more accurate Mom: okay fine Alex: also, there are a few Jewish extremists that attack Arabs Mom: no. There are Jewish people that stab Arabs? Alex: no, they shoot them. Mom: you’ve read this? Alex: yes, I’ve read this. Again, it is only a small portion of Jewish people that do it, just like it’s a small portion of Arabs that stab people and suicide bomb people Mom: okay fine, I get that they feel like second class citizens but I just see all these articles about the UN being unfair and your cousin Avi posts these articles on Facebook about Arabs stabbing families and how hamas pays stipends to the families of suicide bombers Me: that’s your problem, reading articles on Facebook. You’re supposed to google these things and fact check them *mimes typing* gee maybe the UN has reasons for condemning israel Alex: because Israel has done shitty things Mom: they’re trying to survive while all the countries around them think they don’t have a right to exist Alex: yes, the most extreme hardliners think they don’t have a right to exist. A lot of Arabs living there just don’t want to be treated like second class citizens and resent the fact that they don’t have a voice in the Israeli government that’s very conservative right now. I guarantee you that if Netanyahu were to stop acting like they’re in a constant state of war with these people then he would lose a lot of power. Mom: but a lot of Arabs kill each other like saddam Hussein, colonel gaddafi Alex: Hussein killed a select subgroup of Arabs yes. But you seem to be naming Arabs who the US has backed that killed other Arabs Mom: what? Alex: yeah, we’re the problem Mom: okay fine I’ll try to read more about this it’s just it takes so much time to look up all this stuff This is all paraphrasing and the order of which topics were talked about may be inaccurate because this happened last night and both our memories are fuzzy but the main ideas were definitely said.

#racism #israel #white privilege

1 note · View note

kairiofknives · 7 years

Text

Trading Hearts (Part 1)

Summary: It's been months since Akira won his freedom and saved the world. Now, back in his home town, separated from his friends and girlfriend, Futaba, Akira finds that the place he grew up doesn't necessarily feel like home anymore. Back in Tokyo, Futaba starts to piece together that Akira isn't exactly happy with his change in scenery. She resolves to do what she can for the man who changed her life, whether he is aware of this endeavor or not.

Warning: Spoilers for end of game

Read on AO3

Sometimes Futaba wondered why she or Kana-chan ever wanted to go back to the eternal prison of damnation and lack of intelligent thought that was high school. It was a societal norm that functioning members of society attended high school before acquiring more practical real life paths to take, but the longer she spent here, the more she was convinced that this was merely slow method of torture than a useful method of learning anything.

She'd seen much weirder things to be certain.

To: Kana Banana

The true meaning of survival of the fittest is he/she who can get through high school without offing themselves. I'm convinced.

To: Phantom Leaves (group)

What even is the point of first year biology? Almost none of this falls within the realm of actual science. I would know.

From: Kana Banana

Your school doesn't seem to do too well on that front then. No offense.

From: Skull Bash in Phantom Leaves (group)

Ur doin better than I did already Futaba. I didn't even know what subject I was in half the time.

From: Cafe Noir in Phantom Leaves (group)

Should you not all be paying attention? :) You wouldn't want me to tell Mako-chan, would you? :) :) :)

From: Skull Bash in Phantom Leaves (group)

!!!!

Suffice to say, Futaba was bored. Starting high school had seemed like a tremendous first step towards getting herself to be normal again. Sure, she'd be a grade behind, but at least she had a path to start moving down. It was almost laughable that she was managing to sit in a classroom full of students, after taking a crowded train to get here, and wasn't freaking out at all. A year ago, leaving her room was an impossibility. Now, she felt the smallest tinges of panic when people pressed on her too hard on the train, got a bit sweaty when strangers talked to her for too long, but neither feeling was enough to derail her day. She felt like a real life person most of the time now and it was all because of...

From: Key Item

As long as you're getting good test scores, it doesn't really matter if you pay attention in class. Word of advice though: beware of flying chalk. It's got a 90% chance of critical.

...a wonderful, adorable nerd who always knew how to make her day better.

To: Key Item

Gasp! I'll make sure I put my best armor on then. Thanks for the intel. Btw, aren't you supposed to be slaving over a midterm paper?

She couldn't help but grin to herself. One of her biggest worries starting this year had been that despite the massive amounts of support she knew she could get from the other members of the now disbanded Phantom Thieves, Akira Kurusu had moved back to Kyoto to finish out high school in his hometown. She would always credit her revival from the corpse of her previous self as a victory for the entire group, but it was truly Akira who had stayed with her every step of the way. His warm presence by her side made pushing herself out of her comfort zone not only less scary, but infinitely more rewarding. They'd spent countless hours cultivating their bond both between one another and with Sojiro. Sojiro, Akira and Morgana were her family. And the Phantom Thieves were the perfect extension to that family. She would have been more than content to stay in that perfect bubble of happiness forever.

Alas, after saving the world multiple times and nearly dying for the sake of doing so, Akira had finally been granted the freedom he so deserved and was finally free to resume the life that had been stolen from him by Shido. Futaba had been gutted to know Akira would be leaving, but no matter how much she wanted him to herself, she knew he deserved the chance to try to put his "normal" back together, the same way she was trying to fix her "normal".

Still, it sucked pretty bad to have to start one of the potentially scariest steps in her life without her combo best friend and boyfriend there to cheer her on.

As soon as concrete plans had been made with regards to Akira returning to Kyoto, Akira had insisted that if they intended to keep dating, they had to tell Sojiro. Futaba had suspected that perhaps her loving boyfriend had developed a death wish, but agreed anyway. She had envisioned having this conversation with her adoptive father many times, and each had ended in some sort of disaster.

Thus, she had been thoroughly shocked when Sojiro's reaction was to sigh and grumble "I don't like the idea of Futaba dating in general, but if it has to be anyone, I guess I couldn't have picked someone better." They had hashed out rules concerning their alone time and curfews while Akira was still in town, but Sojiro made it very clear that Akira was still a treasured part of their family and was still welcome at LeBlanc if he was ever in town. Needless to say, there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

So they had kept dating. The concern that they'd drift apart was a valid one, but luckily both of them were good about keeping up with Skype dates and keeping in contact via text and phone calls. High school had been going better than expected, the old Phantom Thieves group was still super close, having dinner at LeBlanc every Sunday, and her relationship with Akira still felt just as fun and relaxing as ever. All in all, Futaba really couldn't complain about her current life situation.

From: Key Item

Procrastination nation. Don't worry about it. It'll get done.

From: Key Item

How is that computer building project coming along?

...with one minor exception.

It hadn't seemed like such a big deal at first. She wasn't even really sure there was an issue in the beginning. But the more they talked, the more she started to realize that Akira did not want to talk about himself, at all. She could go on and on for days about every little detail of her own life, down to even absolutely insignificant things like that one time Sojiro bought almond milk, and Akira would always stay attentive. But anytime she directed these questions back at him, asking about his school or town or even what he did with his free time anymore, she was met with vague answers and then a swift redirection of conversation back to herself.

Fueled by the intrinsic desire to be connected to Akira's life in a more reciprocal fashion, Futaba began her newest mission: decode the life of Akira.

To: Key Item

What are you doing after school today?

From: Key Item

Nothing. Why?

To: Key Item

That's weird. You did so much stuff here like every single day. You'd better not be holding back on having fun just so we could talk!!

From: Key Item

I promise I'm not doing that.

From: Key Item

I'm still free though.

To: Key Item

...alright. Do you wanna Skype? Usual time?

From: Key Item

Sounds great.

Futaba sighed. This was going to be slightly harder than she had originally anticipated. That was fine though. She'd grab some intel from the friend group and then prepare her counterattack.

~~~~

"Hey, Ryuji. How often do you and Akira talk?"

Ryuji paused in his desperate destruction of what might have been a sandwich at one point, chewed thoughtfully, then spat "rrvydy, hy?"

Ann scrunched up her nose in distaste, scooting away from the boy in mock offense. "Eww. Stop. Please be like a normal human being for like ten seconds?"

Ryuji gulped loudly, smacking his lips, "Whatever floats your boat, Ms. Princess." He received a warning glare. "Fine, fine. Anyway, yeah, we talk on and off basically every day, why?"

Futaba fidgeted a bit, playing with the leftover rice from the curry Sojiro sent with her to school for lunch today. "I don't know. Anything seem off about him to you?"

This got Ann's attention. "Off, how Futaba?"

Futaba shook her head a bit, "it may be nothing, but it feels like he's avoiding talking to me about his own life right now? And I was wondering if you guys noticed it too."

"Oh man, I think I know what you mean!" Ryuji exclaimed, gesticulating wildly with filthy hands. "Once, I asked him if Kyoto had any good arcades. And he sent me a Google search instead of telling me about it himself. Like, what?"

Ann nodded, "I've never noticed it myself, but it doesn't seem completely out of his character. I mean, he never really wanted to talk about himself, even when he was here."

Futaba considered this for a moment. "He definitely would talk about himself to me, maybe not...full life story all the time, but he would tell me who he had been hanging out with and what he'd been up to. Now I can't even get that out of him. I'm wondering if something isn't wrong..."

Ryuji scoffed, "Naw man, ya know, I bet he's just trying to not make us miss him too much. I know I'd feel like shit if he was constantly going on and on about how much better his home is than here."

"Why?" Futaba asked, a bit upset by Ryuji's response, though glad he'd be that honest. "He has to stay there for a year. Don't you want him to enjoy that year? If he wants his life to go back to normal, I want him to succeed in that quest, ya know? I mean, he's done so much for us. Doesn't he at least deserve that...?"

Ryuji leaned back, slightly surprised. "Alright, alright, calm down Futaba. Geez. Didn't you know you were Akira's number one defender..."

Futaba blushed. While both Sojiro and Morgana knew of her and Akira's relationship, they had not told the rest of the group as of yet. She often wished she could, but they had agreed that they wanted to see how things went before getting the group all excited about this. After all, it would seriously suck if they told everyone then broke up...

A comforting hand settled on her shoulder. "I agree, Futaba," Ann smiled, "Knowing Akira he probably wouldn't wanna risk burdening us too much whether it be with good or bad information. And honestly, it could just be that he has nothing to say. After all, life now compared to life 6 months ago is really boring."

Futaba nodded, sulking. She didn't care if he was having the best time ever in Kyoto or had nothing to talk about except the A tier naps he and Morgana had been taking. She just wanted to be able to share whatever their mutual lives were like equally since they couldn't be together living the same life anymore.

Ann sighed, then offered, "let's shoot a private message to Makoto. She was talking about bothering him about his college plans awhile back. Maybe she'll have an opinion for you."

Futaba glanced up at Ann, and smiled, thankful for such understanding friends. "That sounds awesome, thanks."

With that, the first warning bell signaled that lunch was basically over. Hopefully, Makoto would answer before she Skyped Akira tonight.

~~~

She had luckily managed to snag a seat on the train ride home and was settling in to read a book when her phone chimed. It was Makoto. Futaba praised the God that blessed their friend group with such a capable and efficient Mom Friend.

Actually, they may have killed that God....hmm...

From: Dream Queen

Hey, Futaba. In reference to what Ann asked me about, I have noticed that Akira is acting a bit strange. I did end up talking to him about college entrance exams and apparently he isn't currently planning to take any. He wouldn't give me a complete answer but what I pieces together is that the issue is a combination of not being in the right college prep classes at school, the school staff not taking his desire to go to college seriously, and his father not believing he could pass the exams and thus not wanting to pay for them. Now, keep in mind, he told me very little of this flat out, but from our conversation this was what I could draw conclusions about. Hope that helps.

Futaba's jaw fell open a bit. So, Akira was having troubles and not speaking to her about them. Again. Damnit. She shot a message back to Makoto quickly, needing to process this information before her conversation with Akira.

To: Dream Queen

Thank you so much for the info Makoto. God, he hasn't told me any of this. Not even a little bit of it. It's just like the prison thing...why does he do this?

Luckily, it seemed Makoto was still attached to her phone for the moment.

From: Dream Queen

It's likely a complex answer. I'm sure he thinks sharing this sort of information with us would bother us because we would try to fix it. Sadly, he's right. We will try to fix it. And he should probably just get used to that fact and let it happen.

That made her laugh. Their little group was quite infamous for being overly close and overly protective. Just because Akira was used to doing the protecting didn't mean he was exempt from the protection.

To: Dream Queen

I want to talk to him about this. See if there's anything we can do to help. But I don't want him to deflect me. Any ideas, Ms Prosecutor-Lite?

From: Dream Queen

Let's not call me that. In general, direct questions are more likely to get useable information. If he can purposefully side step a meaning of a question, he seems to do so.

She figured as much. Formulating the right questions might be hard though. She didn't want him to think the decision not to go to college was what she was upset with, so lingering on that topic might not help. Truthfully, she just wanted to know if he was happy and if not, why.

Huh. That might be a good one.

Her phone chimed again.

From: Dream Queen

But being frank, Futaba, I don't think you're going to get straight answers with a screen in between you. Skype may be slightly more effective but Akira is a face to face kind of person. We may not be able to address this until break. And that's perhaps a long shot if he doesn't plan to come to Tokyo for break.

The thought stuck in her head for a moment. Face to face. Midterms were this upcoming week. After Thursday, she wouldn't have class again until Tuesday. Hmmm...now if only...

To: Dream Queen

Do you happen to know Akira's home address?

From: Dream Queen

No, but shouldn't Boss? He did have mailed correspondence with Akira's family a bit over the last year.

Perfect.

To: Dream Queen

Thanks Makoto. You're the absolute best. I'll tell you what I'm thinking of doing tomorrow.

From: Dream Queen

Anytime dear. Hope it goes well :)

The train announced that her stop was next and she hopped up, energized and ready to move the plan forward.

~~~

She surveyed her desk space to ensure she had everything she needed. Drink? Check. Bag of chips just in case? Check. Blanket draped over her desk chair? Check. Computer open to Skype? Check. List of questions conveniently out of sight? Check.

She was a bit hesitant to write up the list of questions. Futaba knew there was no way in hell she could link all those questions together coherently without sounding scripted. That was Makoto's thing. But still, Akira was by far the superior conversationalist. She needed some sort of backup if this went south.

She tried to remind herself that this wasn't about only getting answers. Their Skype dates were sacred. It was the closest they got to each other on a regular basis. She needed to find a natural work in for that line of conversation or needed to drop it all together. And besides, she consoled herself, plan B could still work out without this conversation being... productive. No pressure.

She was so screwed.

The sound of Skype's ring tone started up then, and she jumped a bit. She ran her fingers through her hair, pausing to take one huge breath before hitting "answer".

"Hey, Akira."

Her screen slowly resolved into what was becoming a pretty familiar backdrop. The walls were painted a medium shade of blue. All along the back wall, were countless posters. Rock bands, video games, movies, you name it. She fondly remembered their first Skype date, where he explained where he got every single one of those posters. That was the most he had spoken to her about his past since he told her how he got arrested...

The bed was messy, plaid blue comforter thrown across the bed in a half assed attempt at making the bed. She knew for a fact the thin black sheets underneath were bundled up the same as when he first woke up. The only thing in the room messier than the bed was the mop of hair in her line of sight.

"You, my friend, need a haircut," Futaba giggled, earning herself an overly dramatic eye roll and a huff in response. She actually was a fan of the extremely puffy hair, but knew it was getting long enough that his bangs would be hanging in his eyes, which annoyed him greatly.

The lights in his room were off, the only light source being the blueish light from his laptop screen. Futaba didn't try to keep it a secret how much she liked the way his face looked illuminated so minimally like this. The angle of the light showed off features she hadn't paid attention to when they were physically together. Now, she couldn't stop staring at the well defined jawline, sharp cut of his nose, the way his bottom lip was a bit fuller than his top. Maybe there was some truth to the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder".

"What's up, hot stuff? You look a bit down."

Akira met her eyes, the ghost of a smile on his face. "I guess I'm kind of tired. Haven't been sleeping well lately."

This was good. Getting right into it. "Aww. How come?"

He paused, staring at something to the left of his screen. For a moment it looked like he was gearing up to say something, but then he simply shook his head. "I don't know. Happens sometimes."

The bags under his eyes told her that it wasn't as simple as a couple bad nights. Still, she knew he probably wouldn't give her an answer on this particular vein of thought just yet, so she moved on. "Speaking of sleep, where is the sleepiest cat in the history of history?"

That got Akira to smile. "My dad got him some catnip at the store the other day. Before I opened it, he swore over and over it wouldn't work on him because he is a human."

Futaba giggled, "let me guess: he went crazier than when he saw particularly nice looking treasures in the metaverse?"

The smile broadened into a smirk. "Babbled nonsense and ran around the house after 'ghosts' all night. It was a true sight to behold. That said: he denies the whole thing now."

"Not surprising. News headline: local cat does cat-like thing. Is disgusted."

Akira chortled, "Very accurate!"

They chatted back and forth for about half an hour about various things, mostly superficial. Still, it served its purpose as a recharge from all the social exhaustion of the week. She was content. But, she did want to ask him one thing.

"Hey, Akira...real quick before we hang up..."

Akira smiled at her, nodded, "What's up?"

"You've been in Kyoto for awhile now. And I guess I just wanted to know..." She paused, looking him straight in the eye, "are you happy?"

Lightning quick, his smile dropped away. For a bit, Akira's eyes darted between the screen, his hands, and the space just to the left side of his computer screen. This sort of frantic defense mechanism was new to Futaba. To her memory, she had never seen Akira cornered before. It only proved that this was a question she needed to have answered...but, an equal need to soothe him also sprung up.

It was a long pause before Akira finally plopped his head down onto his crossed arms and sighed. When he next revealed his face, it was with a soft, "I guess not."

Futaba's heart broke at the despair in his tone. Her voice was just as soft, "Is being back home not what you thought it would be?"

Akira shook his head. He didn't meet her eyes. "No, it's exactly how I thought it would be." He buried his face in his arms, fingers tapping out a rhythm on the desk. His next words were muffled so he couldn't make them out super well, but Futaba was absolutely positive she heard him mutter "It's me that's different now."

That was all she really needed to hear. "We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to."

He removed his head from it's hiding spot and attempted a smile. "Thanks." The sound of a door opening in the background echoed through his room. He sighed and sat up. "I have to go."

Futaba's heart sank. She hated herself for saving this for last. Leaving conversations on a bad note was the absolute worst and yet...Well, she'd just have to make up for it.

"Ok. I love you."

Akira nodded, "Love you too." She smiled and reached for her mouse to cut the call, when he started, "Futaba?" She made a noise acknowledging him. "I miss you."

God, this kid really knew how to play her heart like a guitar. She smiled widely at him. "I miss you too, Akira. Good night!"

"Night."

The call ended, leaving her alone in her room with her thoughts. Akira had always been there for her when she was going through something awful. Even forced his way into helping her even when she said she didn't want his help. There was no way she was letting this go. She nodded to herself and started writing a message to Makoto.

Failure wasn't an option.

~~~

LeBlanc was deserted when Futaba got home from school that Friday. Sojiro was busy cooking, humming contently along with the radio. Considering what Futaba's goal was this evening, it was probably for the best that he was in a good mood to start.

"Hey Sojiro! I'm home. Need any help?"

Her father turned and raised an eyebrow, giving her a once over glance before nodding and beckoning her forth to help with dinner. Futaba winced to herself, realizing her huge tactical error. She never offers to help with dinner. Alas, the hint that she wanted something from him is perhaps better than springing it on him with no prior suspicion at all. She hurried to put on an apron and slice up the apples he placed before her.

They worked in companionable silence. And once the curry was done to perfection, they both sat down at a booth to enjoy their meal. The air was thick, pregnant with the anticipation of important conversation. Futaba hated this sort of unease, as it was exactly what she feared would occur. And she hadn't even said anything yet.

"So. You want to ask me something, Futaba?"

No surprises there. Futaba nodded, "Um. Yes. I. I do." God, this was harder than she thought. The words were there, right in her head, so why couldn't she get them out? It's just Sojiro! But that was the issue. It was Sojiro, the only father figure she'd ever really had. She could handle a lot of people rejecting her, but Sojiro was not among them.

He seemed to sense her rising panic, smiled at her gently, "Whatever it is, it's nothing to worry too hard over. If you're willing to talk, I'm willing to listen."

"Yeah I know." She took a deep breath, summoned her inner strength (whatever there was of it) and began, "I was talking with Akira earlier. He's...um, not feeling very well, I don't think. I don't know exactly what the problem is, but I really want to help him. He's done so much for me after all."

Sojiro nodded, showing he had heard her. She continued, "I've tried just talking to him about it, but he doesn't give me or any of our friends straight answers. And now he isn't sleeping well. I'm just really worried."

"And what exactly do you expect to do about this?" Sojiro questioned, luckily not looking mad at all. "You can't just force him to ask for help if he doesn't want it. Trust me. I've tried."

"Yeah," Futaba acknowledged glumly, "I doubt he will ever tell anyone what's really wrong over the phone. It's too easy for him to hide behind the screen and pretend he's protecting us. So...I want to go talk to him. In person."

Sojiro stopped eating. Placed his fork down and the folded his hands in front of him. Futaba gulped. "Who would be going with you, then?"

"No one. I don't think he would want to say anything if too many people came."

He sighed and shook his head a bit, sparking panic in Futaba instantly. "He'd probably talk to you and one other person, right? Why not that Makoto girl?"

"I...I already talked to her about it. She. Um. She said she can't take the time off and that he would probably not talk to someone who isn't me or her so it probably has to be just me."

"And I'm supposed to ignore the fact that my sixteen year old daughter with crippling social anxiety wants to travel over five hours to Kyoto by herself to see her boyfriend? On a whim because he seems upset? You're out of your mind."

Futaba's voice grew shaky, "The train there wouldn't be anywhere as crowded as the one I take to school! So what if it's more time, I'd be fine! And it is not just a whim."

Sojiro shook his head, glaring at her through with crossed arms. God she hated that look. "I don't think you realize how dangerous this could be for a young girl by herself. And what would you do when you got there? Talk really quickly and come back home? 11 hours of transit just for a conversation?"

"School will be off for awhile after midterms, Sojiro. I can probably just stay on their couch or something."

"Oh here we go. Probably isn't good enough when planning a trip like this, Futaba. You can't just show up at people's houses and expect them to let you stay with them. Are you insane?"

Tears jerked to her eyes. "N-no, I'm not! I was going to call Akira's dad a-after you and I talked and ask him. Why do you assume I don't think about things? You know I do!" The last thing Futaba had wanted was to cry, but sure enough the tears came rolling down her cheeks in rivers. Her nose was suddenly all stuffed too. Damnit.

"Do you even have his father's number? Their address?"

"Y-you do, Sojiro! I w-w-wasnt gonna go...go behind your b-back and ask when I already made all the arrangements! You h-hate it when people try to do that! And I know you d-do!"

"Yeah and I also hate it when you hatch schemes in private and then just expect other people to go along with them." Sojiro sighed, pressing his thumbs to his closed eyes. "Why does it have to be you who does this? Is this even necessary? You don't even know if something is actually wrong, Futaba."

"Yes. I. Do. You weren't talking to him, Sojiro. You didn't see how sad he looked. No, he doesn't absolutely need someone to go, but I want to now before it gets any worse." She paused to sniffle and wipe at her eyes, feeling a bit less frantic. "And would you please stop thinking about him as 'Futaba's boyfriend' and just think of him as Akira? Just because he is dating me doesn't make him any less a part of our family! Right? Right?? You were the one that said that! Well our family member is far away and something is wrong."

Sojiro was quiet then. He sat with his arms crossed over his chest and a deep frown for awhile while Futaba sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with her napkin. Her entire body was tense and felt gross, typical after crying. Still, it was a small price to pay if she could convince Sojiro. She had to at least try.

"Go home."

Her eyes shot up to meet her father's. "What?"

Sojiro leveled her with a stern stare. "It's getting late and you need to get a bath and get ready for bed. You have school tomorrow."

"B-but Sojiro...!"

"Enough. Futaba." Sojiro stood, collecting their plates and moving towards the sink. "No point discussing this any more tonight. You go calm down and get to bed. If there is anything left to discuss, we will talk about it after school tomorrow."

"Sojiro..."

"I haven't said no yet, have I?" Sojiro looked back at her with a soft look on his face. He hated it when she cried just as much as she hated crying. "Now get out of here so I can think, ok?"

The walk home was one of the most nerve wracking of her life. There was a snowball's chance in hell of her sleeping tonight, since her emotions felt like live wires all tangled together. But the less she fought him, the more likely he'd agree. That was all she could hope for at this point.

~~~

School on Saturday was the longest and worst experience of her life. She was bone tired from not sleeping even an hour the night before and somehow all the teachers seemed to know this because they kept asking her just about every single question they could. It was unbearable. She had zoned out through all of lunch too, far too tired to even register being hungry, so as she boarded the train to go home, she felt like she had had all of her stats lowered and inflicted with despair, dizzy and hunger all at the same time.

Her phone buzzed in her bag as she managed to snag a seat on the train (the only small miracle of the day).

From: Key Item

Hey. Ryuji and Ann both texted me and said you looked really out of it today. Everything alright?

Great. Now she had even managed to spread her bad day to Akira. Wonderful.

To: Key Item

Bad night. Didn't sleep. I'll go to bed early tonight, though.

From: Key Item

Alright. If you're sure. Get home safe. Get Sojiro to make you some curry with extra love in it!

To: Key Item

If his love is anything like yours, I'd prefer he keep the love to a minimum.

From: Key Item

Ouch. That hurt. Such betrayal.

She giggled, glad that even when she felt like death, talking to Akira could still make her smile.

Arriving at LeBlanc felt like a death march. There were five customers enjoying curry and coffee at the various booths, so Futaba place her bag down at the bar. Before she could sit down, Sojiro slid a pad of paper across the bar to her. She met his eyes first, then looked down at the paper. It contained a phone number and an address. Her heart sped up and she looked back at Sojiro, mouth wide open.

"You'd best try calling now. I could usually get ahold of his dad around this time. Go on."

Futaba grinned, kissed Sojiro on the cheek and then fled upstairs to call the number. Maybe things were going to work out after all.

#futaba sakura #akira kusuru #akira x futaba #persona 5 #my fics #fanfiction #persona 5 spoilers

5 notes · View notes

the-scot-blog1 · 7 years

Photo

Scrolling through Twitter one afternoon, I stumbled upon an amazing little feature by blogger Liam McNally – he had posted a text post with a number of different film titles from each year of his life. Bloody brilliant.

So I’ve decided to give it a go. I’ve been on this wonderful planet for almost 19 years now, and although I wasn’t alive for the release of Jurassic Park, there have been a fair few phenomenal films in my lifetime.

This is my longest post to date – I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. (2730 words – bloody hell).

1998: Pleasantville

Oh my God. I didn’t realise how difficult this post was until I searched ‘1998 films’ into Google. The Trueman Show, Saving Private Ryan and The Wedding Singer all in the one year? God, anyone alive and kicking back then must have been having the best year of their lives.

But despite the 10 minute long decision process, I’ve decided on Pleasantville. I watched it when I was very young and hadn’t ever worn a bra, much less watched anything like that bath scene. Despite my mortified eyes however, the film will always be one of my favourites. I remember seeing the main character for the first time and just constantly thinking god, this is a weird film for Spiderman and Elle Woods to be in.

1999: 10 Things I Hate About You

Again, this year is bloody difficult. The Iron Giant, The Mummy and Toy Story 2 – they just don’t make films like them anymore. Although I wasn’t a fan of Star Wars Episode 1 – it has to be one of my least favourites. Anyway.

10 Things I Hate About You was one of the first chick-flicks I ever watched. I knew Heath Ledger as ‘the strangely cute singing guy from that movie’ before I knew him as the Joker. I felt like I related to Kat – I wasn’t big on getting a boyfriend, and I was pretty much destined to be a wee bit strange since birth. Plus her name is so cool.

2000: X-Men

At the time of watching, I was right into Harry Potter. I loved the idea of special schools dedicated to supernatural people – it made my own secondary school even more boring. I’d often just sit in class and daydream about being able to fly or have the ability to imitate people.

But in all honesty, the one person I was most envious of was Quicksilver. And not because I wanted to save the world or any of that pish. No. When I sat in my third year physics class, the smells from the cafeteria always decided to sneak up the vent and attack my nostrils. I would get so unbelievably hungry, and my stomach would always tell my classmates just that. So I used to daydream about running faster than time, sprinting down into the dining hall, grabbing a steaming hot spicy chicken panini (and maybe some soup, if I could manage) and munching it before heading back up to class. Yeah – I wanted superpowers so I could eat my lunch early.

2001: The Princess Diaries

AH. I’ve got a feeling film directors are deliberately messing with me right now. Legit, I had a look at the films from 2001, and I was floored. What an amazing year. The first Harry Potter movie came out this year – the beginning of an absolute era. Shrek debuted as well – but I was always slightly offended when people heard my Scottish accent and compared me to a giant green ogre when I travelled abroad. The first Lord of the Rings film came out as well – see what I mean about them messing with me?

But despite all of my favourite film franchises beginning in this year, I gotta say, the Anne Hathaway/Julie Andrews combo that is The Princess Diaries absolutely stole my heart. I had never related to a character more – I had frizzy hair, buck teeth, oversized glasses and a tendency to prioritise spending time with my cat over hanging out with real-life friends. So when she went through her beautiful princess transformation, I was floored. I mean, I’m still waiting for that to officially happen, but I’m still holding out hope that I have a long lost relative that’s gonna tell me I’m a princess (no, not you mum).

2002: The Pianist

Originally, I had written the first Spiderman as my favourite film of 2002. But that quickly changed.

The first time I watched The Pianist, I was 13 years old in a stuffy history classroom. I still hold the belief that this was definitely not the right time to watch this film. It felt as though my teacher didn’t have any material to convey how horrific the Holocaust really was, and so instead she stuck on one of the most distressing and hauntingly beautiful films of all time. I didn’t fully appreciate it back then – I cried when I watched the horrors that took place in the ghettos, and got even more upset when immature people around me started to laugh.

But I watched it for a second time a few years later. Although I cried again, I gained a much deeper understanding of the film. I still listen to the soundtrack when I want to write a particularly moving or sad chapter of a book. The film has such a disgusting beauty to it, it is astounding – it makes me question my morals when I say it is one of my favourite films.

2003: Peter Pan

Again, there were so many amazing films this year – I can’t explain my guilt at not choosing Finding Nemo or the last instalment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

But I found my first love in the live-action remake of Peter Pan. Just a few years after it was released, I found myself watching it time and time again. I was young, and there was a boy with messy hair and a fairy to keep him company. Honestly, I was head over heels. I grew to absolutely despise Wendy Darling. How dare she take away my Peter, with her stupid bow and annoying accent. And the fact that Lucius Malfoy was Captain Hook just made it that little bit better.

2004: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

You’re lying if you say that this isn’t one of your favourite films.

Again, it was tricky not choosing The Incredibles or Mean Girls – even The Notebook made it to my shortlist. But the way the Weasley twin’s hair sat and the introduction of the marauders just made my life complete. Except for Pettigrew. Fuck you, Pettigrew. I’d read the book before I saw the film, and while I was slightly disappointed with the previous two, I didn’t stop talking about PoA for months. In fact, I still talk about it. It’s great.

2005: Sky High

This year was going to be beautifully simple – I absolutely love Star Wars Episode III. In fact, it was possibly the only film I was certain of when I started this post. But, never the less, I looked at the list of 2005 films anyway, and was reminded of the best thing I’ve ever watched. Ever.

Remember earlier in the post when I said that I frickin LOVE schools for supernatural people? WELL HERE WE GO AGAIN. I watched Sky High recently with my friend Ross, and even although the acting was abysmal and my cringe levels were off the chart, I couldn’t help but smile. As if the flying school bus wasn’t enough, the euphoria I felt when Will and Warren won Save the Citizen was something I don’t think I’ll ever feel again.

2006: Pan’s Labyrinth

I feel like if I choose any film other than this, my Spanish teacher would kill me. Again, it’s another film that we watched at way too young an age in my opinion. Sure, it looks all mystical with fairies and creepy monsters with eyeball hands, but it has this underlying story-line of the horrors of war and escapism that you can’t fully understand until you’re a bit older.

I watched it again when I was 17 and studying Advanced Higher Spanish, and knew the film as ‘El Laberinto del Fauno’. I could go on for 20 minutes about this film and its director (which I did by the way, in the final exam).

2007: Ratatouille

WHAT A FILM BTW. I’ve always loved Disney – my sister and I would spend nights staying up way past our 8pm bedtime watching Aladdin and Peter Pan, with a fair few stolen After Eight mints from my mum’s bedroom too. This film just completely blew me away – the animation was new and cool and it was set in PARIS.

Even now, ten years later (omg ten years wtf) I still think about the scene where Remy combines the cheese and grapes, and little fireworks and swirls form in his mind. I once ate a McDonald’s chip and then took a sip of my strawberry milkshake, and legit I’m pretty sure that’s what happened in my mind.

2008: The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian

Enter stage left – my second love. At the age of nine, Prince Caspian had everything I could ever want in a guy (or so I thought). He had a sword, long hair, an accent I had never heard before and he fought Peter Pevensie (I seem to hate a whole lot of Peters).

I thought it was the coolest combination of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and it was while watching this that I began to have a crisis about my true Hogwarts house. I had always thought myself a Gryffindor – I had the scarf, the pens and the egotistical ‘I’m-better-than-you’ attitude that all young Gryffs seem to adopt. But I found myself siding with Edmund Pevensie about a whole lot of things. I didn’t fully accept Slytherin as my true house till a good few years later.

2009: Star Trek

I watched Star Trek before I even touched Star Wars, and I was absolutely hooked. It was what introduced me to science fiction, really. After Star Trek, I moved onto Doctor Who, and although I couldn’t really get into the Star Trek TV series, I found my love of sci-fi growing.

It was my love of Star Trek that caused me to accidentally find Star Wars. My brother would constantly go on about C3PO and lightsabers, and I decided very early on that it wasn’t for me. But after trying (and failing) to find Star Trek online, I accidentally found Star Wars instead, and thus began my love of the Skywalkers and giant wookies named Chewy.

2010: How To Train Your Dragon

Other than Aladdin, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was one of my first (of many) cartoon crushes. I thought he was the most adorable lil guy ever – he was clumsy, dorky, and absolutely loved animals. He was perfect. I thought the animation was absolutely incredible, and the Scottish accents were just a bonus. I much preferred being compared to Gerard Butler than a green ogre, in all honesty.

And don’t even get me started on how he looked in How To Train Your Dragon 2 – oaft.

2011: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two

HPDHP2 is right up there with the Prisoner of Azkaban. I remember heading to the midnight release of the last Harry Potter book – I was decked out in a Scream robe that we’d stitched a Gryffindor badge onto, with curly hair that reached my shoulders. And yes, I won the costume contest. But I remember staying up that night and reading the book until 7am, and having to head to school the next day without a wink of sleep. And yet I didn’t care – I had just finished the last book in a series that completely shaped my childhood.

So when the movie hit the cinema screens, I was praying that I wouldn’t be disappointed like I was with some of the others. And apparently, my prayers were answered. Even although the Deathly Hallows is split into two parts, I always consider them the one film. And it’s most certainly my favourite.

2012: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

This film really got to me. I bundled up in warm clothes to see it in the cinema with my friend Ailish, and it was the first ever film I had cried at. I’d read the book before hand and cried my eyes out, but the severity and meaning of the story didn’t hit me until I watched the film. Logan Lerman and Emma Watson were two of my favourite stars at the time: I knew Emma from Harry Potter obviously, whilst Logan stole my heart as Percy Jackson.

But what struck me most was the way I related to these characters. I often found myself standing next to the wall in school dances, watching people having a good time but being physically incapable of joining in – it was as if my feet were constantly glued to the floor. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone in this, and it lead to me being able to open up to my guidance teacher about my struggles with anxiety.

I also wrote about the original book in my piece ’13 books to help get over a break up’ – check it out.

2013: The Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug

When the making of the Hobbit was first announced, I was ecstatic. But my excitement somewhat wavered when I heard they were turning into three films. It was a small book – tiny in comparison to the three Lord of the Rings texts – how on earth would they stretch this wonderfully small work into three different films?

And yet somehow, they managed it, and subsequently made one of my favourite films of all time. Why, you ask? The barrel scene.

2014: Guardians of the Galaxy

Not gonna lie, this one was a toss up between the hilarious Chris Pratt and the absolutely adorable Baymax. But, as much as I love Disney’s tale of superpowers and love therapy in Big Hero 6, it didn’t win this year for me. The best thing about the film is without a doubt the soundtrack – even four years later, I still listen to it when I wanna get psyched.

I wanted to cosplay as Gamora for last year’s MCM Comic Con in Glasgow so bad, but then I realised that I’d more than likely sweat off the green body paint and the leather would more than likely get quite uncomfortable.

2015: Star Wars – The Force Awakens

Up until 2015, I was losing interest in Star Wars. I’d watched the films countless times, but as much as I adored them, I couldn’t stop thinking about the shabby effects. So when Finn, Poe and Rey lit up my local cinema screen in December 2015, it was as if I was born again. I suddenly dived back into the world of lightsabers and gun-wielding Wookies, and I genuinely haven’t looked back since.

And although I cried my eyes out when that thing happened, I agreed with it – it was about time.

2016: Finding Dory

I actually travelled Australia for a month last year – I left school and just decided to get away from everything and everyone for a little while. So after I met my brother and we began to explore Sydney, we decided what better place to watch the latest instalment in Finding Nemo than the place where it’s set??

I was slightly disappointed to find out that Nemo and Dory did not, in fact, stay in Sydney for the duration of the film, but even so – it was just amazing.

I was going to write a segment for 2017 but then I realised – I legit haven’t watched any new releases yet. I’ve simply not had any time. And yes, that means that I haven’t even watched the new Beauty and the Beast. For shame.

But even although I haven’t watched anything yet, there are tonnes of films that I’m looking forward to – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Spiderman Homecoming, and Star Wars: The Last Jedi to name a few.

Hey, maybe I’ll revisit this post at the end of the year and add in my favourite film.

I’m tagging the fantastic Emily and Lucie in the ‘Film for every year of my life’ tag.

What are your most loved films from these years? Do we share any favourites? Or do you think my choices are just downright wrong? Let me know!

Follow(function(d, s, id) {var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if (d.getElementById(id)) return;js = d.createElement(s);js.id = id;js.src = "https://www.bloglovin.com/widget/js/loader.js?v=1";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, "script", "bloglovin-sdk"))

18 films in 18 years: My favourite stories since I was born was originally published on Ellan

#Ellan blog #Elle Duffy #Scottish bloggers #Scottish blog #Travel blog #Lifestyle blog #Scottish travel #Personal blog #Scottish girl

1 note · View note