#devil’s garden mustang
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Got first touches on both of these handsome fellas today!!
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If y'all aren't aware, @the-barn-rat and I are directors of a tiny non-profit called Rising Action Mustang Society (www.risingactionmustangs.com). We have had over 55 mustangs come through our property on their way to their lifelong homes across New England!
We are asking for help to support one of our horses in a scary health crisis. Our boy King, a 10 year old Devil's Garden mustang, is currently fighting Potomac Horse Fever. He is very ill and has severe colitis, which needs time and supportive care to beat.
We have been providing around the clock care for this gentle giant, and through it all, King has been patient and brave. He is a magnificent, kind, and goofy horse who deserves a chance to heal and find his forever home, where he can represent the best that mustangs have offer.
We want to do everything we can to give King a fighting chance, but vet bills run up FAST. Almost all of our work is done out of our own pockets, so ANY amount helps us help King. Donations are also tax deductible!
Donating, sharing, spreading the word -- it all makes a difference. Thank you and keep your fingers crossed for our big guy!
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This just in:
My puppy has grown into an oversized lap dog
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BLM Mustangs for Sale - Fox Hog HMA Geldings
These boys are in the March 2023 auction, images taken in October
3 YEAR OLD GRAY GELDING HORSE (9737) 15hh
6 YEAR OLD GRAY GELDING HORSE (9732) 14.2hh
4 YEAR OLD BUCKSKIN GELDING HORSE (9688) 14.2hh
7 YEAR OLD BLACK GELDING HORSE (8485) 14.2hh (devil's garden HMA)
9 YEAR OLD ROANRED GELDING HORSE (8117) 14.2hh (devil's garden, not Fox Hog)
3 YEAR OLD WHITE GELDING HORSE (6207) 14hh
4 YEAR OLD SORREL GELDING HORSE (6201) 14.1hh
4 YEAR OLD BAY GELDING HORSE (6190) 14hh
5 YEAR OLD PALOMINO GELDING HORSE (6189) 14hh
8 YEAR OLD BUCKSKIN GELDING HORSE (6176) 14.1hh
8 YEAR OLD BUCKSKIN GELDING HORSE (6172) 14.1hh (broken ear?)
6 YEAR OLD BUCKSKIN GELDING HORSE (6169) 14.2hh
4 YEAR OLD BAY GELDING HORSE (6156) 14hh
7 YEAR OLD PALOMINO GELDING HORSE (6155) 14.2hh (don't yell at me about his color)
5 YEAR OLD GRAY GELDING HORSE (6140) 14.3hh
4 YEAR OLD PALOMINO GELDING HORSE (6136) 14.2hh
3 YEAR OLD BAY GELDING HORSE (6120) 13.3hh
6 YEAR OLD BLACK GELDING HORSE (6113) 14.2hh
3 YEAR OLD PALOMINO GELDING HORSE (5991) 13.2hh
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Hi there, I'm Mara.
Full name: Mara Evangeline Gaia Gabris
Age: 24 (Would be 32)
Birthday: May 16th
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Familiar: Odysseus the Mustang
Personality:
Birth chart (big three): Taurus Sun, Gemini Moon, Aries Rising
MBTI: ESFP-A
Patron Arcana: The Star
Upright: Hope, Faith, Rejuvenation, Healing
Reversed: Hopelessness, Faithlessness, Despair, Despondence
Minor Arcana: Nine of Swords
Upright: Fear, Isolation, Breaking Point
Reversed: Recovery, Coping, Finding Hope
Likes: The color orange, watching the wind kick up dust devils in the desert, fine jewelry, braiding other people's hair, when people make her laugh, roasting marshmallows, flowers of all kinds, putting new horseshoes on her horses, riding in the bed of trucks, cow print, going out dancing, square-toe boots, getting drunk off three shots of Jameson, equating strength with beauty, smiling, barbecues, the month of May, when people compliment her, the way her skin looks when kissed by the sun, shopping at the farmer's market, painting her nails, experimenting in the kitchen, the way her key ring jangles on her hip when she walks, wearing cute clothes that make her feel feminine, brushing her locs, Cole teasing her when she can't say his last name right, pound cake, Summer, playing cards, doing her makeup in natural light, when Cole takes off her cowgirl boots for her, watching the sun rise when she's rounding up her cattle, sleeping with the window open, when people request personal deliveries from her farm, the sounds of the desert at night, riddles that she won't guess, when dogs chase cars, fishing, holding hands in public, giving gifts, feeding her chickens, showing off how well she can whistle, hugs, do it yourself renovations on the house, evening rides with the love of her life.
Dislikes: Washing dishes, blood blisters, using spurs on her animals, baked beans, when people expect more out of her than she feels like she can give, the end of summer, eating the same thing every day, taking animals to the slaughterhouse, when people frown at her, waking up before the rooster, unwanted touch, standing at the market all day selling things from the farm, people who cheat during games, rope burn on her hands, dust storms that ruin the crops, people calling her ditzy even though she knows she's not that smart, the feeling of someone leaving her behind, herself without her locs, hauling water from the river, when people tell her she's lost weight, when she has to get feisty for her voice to be heard, replacing her favorite jeans because her thighs chafe too much, when her family yells at her for making a mistake, convincing others she's soft and deserving of love, the feeling of regret.
Abilities: Mara is a very skilled cowgirl. She can ride horses very well and knows a lot about the upkeep and care of farm animals. She can lasso and whistle and tie a lot of knots. She's pretty handy, able to fix little things around her house and farm. She's very in tune with nature and has a natural sense of direction. Mara also likes to garden and has a green thumb which helps a lot when you grow up on a farm. Mara is also really good at cooking and baking.
Favourite food: Tater Tot Casserole with Cheese and Sour Cream and Bacon
Favourite drink: Sweet Tea with a slice of Orange
Favourite flower: Somraldic Poppy
Favourite place: Under a Somraldic Sycamore in the arms of her love
Magic: Mara is a Prairie Maiden, one of the native witches of Somrald. The magic can be either hereditary, obtained if you complete a special ritual, or you are ordained before you're born. Although she's not as devout as other witches in practice, she often prays and gives offerings at her altar for the Maiden of the Valley, the feminine spirit that watches over Somraldic people, specifically women. Her magic is emotional, providing peace and comfort to the people around her through her touch and her words. She also has a lot of empathy for others as well as animals due to this gift. Mara was also born as one of the Maiden's Messengers, a woman blessed by the Maiden of the Valley with the power to change form into that of an animal. Mara's animal spirit is a Red-Tailed Hawk.
Appearance:
Height: 5'11 or 180 cm
Weight: 217 lbs or 98 kg
Hair: Mara has long black goddess locs that she's been growing since she was a young girl. They're waist-length now and she loves to put charms and weave prairie flowers in them. She often does different styles with her locs, wearing a bandana on her head or tying them in ponytails under her cowgirl hat. In her last few years of life, she cut them, revealing shoulder-length dark bouncy curls.
Eyes: Mara has black eyes, like most people in Murik Valley. They're some of the biggest, sweetest eyes you'll ever see. She has long lashes and always lines her eyes with makeup before leaving the house. She's very expressive and sweet and you'll often find yourself softening under her gaze. One bat of her eyelashes and you'll give her anything she wants.
General description: Mara is tall and curvy. She's strong from all the physical labor she does. She carries her weight in her arms, stomach, hips and legs. Her hourglass shape is accompanied by the cute pudge of her stomach that can be seen when she wears the low-rise jeans she loves. Her face is sweet with round cheeks and a soft jaw. Her lips are quite full and she has dimples when she smiles.
Mara is a free spirit. She loves adventure and feeling alive. She loves experiencing new things and going to new places. She's family-oriented, as Valley folk tend to be, however, she's got a wanderlust that can never be satisfied. If she loves you, she loves hard and you'll know it. She's loyal and dutiful to the people she loves. She's quite responsible when it comes to work, but she loves horsing around and having fun. Mara can be a little forgetful, but if it's important, she'll get it done.
Fashion Sense: Mara is always wearing Western clothing, but she still likes looking nice. A good pair of body-hugging bootcut or flare jeans are her go-to, with a nice belt, no matter the occasion. If she's working she'll wear a henley or collared shirt to protect herself from the elements. If it's cold she'll wear a denim jacket with a fleece interior. She's also got chaps and a few vests she'll wear depending on her work day and the weather. If it's a day of leisure, she'll opt for those jeans paired with a fashion top or a low-cut shirt that shows off her full figure. She loves ribbed tops or henleys, but it's always a scoop neck. Mara never leaves the house without her boots. She's got several pairs, some simple for work, some snazzy for going out. She's always wearing gold or turquoise jewelry and never leaves home without a few prairie charms.
Mara also likes dressing up sometimes. She'll wear a dress with a plunging neckline and some decorative boots. It's very rare you'll see Mara in a pair of heels, but she loves how pretty they make her feel.
A brief look into her life:
Occupation: Mara works with her father on their farm. Her duties include cattle wrangling, milking the cows, feeding the chickens and pigs, slaughtering livestock, tending to their farmland, and a world of other things. There's a lot that goes into having a farm. She does most of the intensive labor with the help of whoever they can afford to employ since Myvern is not able to handle most of that labor due to his illness. Mara also dedicates a portion of her life to the Maiden of the Valley as one of her Messengers. Whatever duties the Maiden calls her to do, she will see in a dream, a vision, or a sudden compulsion.
Love Interest:
Cole Berlusconi
Family and friends:
Myvern Gabris, father
Eleni Gabris, mother
Persephone Gabris, little sister
Tiana Samaras, aunt
Clio Mallas, aunt
Pollyanna Evander, best friend
Nazir Circe, close friend
Olympia Mathison, Castor Bedlam, Jason Karras, friends and colleagues
Tomás, Matías, Marcos, and Emilio, acquaintances she met in Maeth
Isabella Ziergah, friend
Hercules Argo, husband
Bree Argo, daughter
Miscellaneous facts.
Mara is insanely strong. She can't quite tear an addressbook in half but she can make a rip.
Mara never saw herself settling down with a man in a traditional sense, but adventuring and traveling all over the world doing new things with the man she loves, and only after that settling down.
She's always wanted a house with a whole wall made of windows.
Mara's love languages are gift-giving and acts of service.
Mara has a few tattoos, most of which she's gotten in honor of the love of her life. The tattoos include a spaceship, an 8 ball, and an oak tree. Her others include a horseshoe on her wrist, a feather on her forearm, and a bull on her shoulder.
Mara is a lively and adventurous girl, but she's almost always been held back by her family.
Mara can shotgun a beer in record time and its one of her favorite party tricks
Mara can drive both a manual and an automatic transmission vehicle and she teaches her friends how to drive. She taught Cole how to both drive a car and ride a horse.
Mara struggled with her self-esteem as a child, in large part because of her family.
Mara has a younger sister who ran away when she was fifteen and Mara was sixteen. This affected Mara in a lot of ways. She hardly likes to talk about it.
Mara has a complicated relationship with her family, but nobody seems to really ever see her side of the story.
Mara meets Cole one summer when they're 18 years old. They fall in a love so deep and intense the relationship sustains long distance for three years, until Mara's family pressures her into marrying someone else to save their farm and livelihood.
She has never loved anyone more than she's loved Cole Berlusconi.
"When you're here with me, I like to think everything's gonna work out. I love you."
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There are over 60 2017 Devil's Garden foals at the BLM’s Litchfield, CA corrals right now, and I am working hard to try to convince the BLM to ship a trailerful to the eastern US to be adopted once they are weaned.
The people at the Modoc National Forest (where these horses are from) that I talked to expect the weanlings to be at least 15hh and 1100lbs. Many of the younger adult horses are much smaller, but that appears to be due to their population increase (10 times the appropriate management level before last year’s roundup, I believe!) as the slightly older horses are all 15-17hh and 1200-1500lbs!
If you are looking for a big, stout mustang, these guys might just be for you!
You can see pictures of the mare/foal pairs here and more recent pictures of the foals only here
Please pass this around whether or not you are interested or in the eastern states. And if you are interested, please send me a message or an ask! I’m trying to get a number on Very Interested adopters to lean on the BLM with, :)
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Roy, Greed, and Havoc (my dumbass clown faves) for the ask game! [It's edwardelricsrightarm from my main]
Ahhh! Hi, I love your blog so much, so thank you! :)
Roy
What song reminds me of them?
Somebody Else Now by Daði Freyr and Honor For All by Daniel and Jon Licht both immediately come to mind. Also Solovey by Go_A could be a childhood/teenage (like Roy apprenticeship era) Royai song.
What do they smell like?
He smells mostly of clean laundry, ash, and a mild cologne. Maybe a hint of floral perfume on him depending on how much time time he’s been spending with Madame Christmas’s spies.
An OTP
Royai! They’re basically canon and I adore their dynamic. The sheer determination they both have to stay true to their beliefs and their loyalty to each other is something that I just can’t get over. I also think Jeanroy is pretty neat.
A NOTP
R*yed. Even aside from how gross it is, there’s literally no romance there.
What are my favorite platonic/familial relationships?
Of course, I really like his relationship with the Elrics. I think the dynamic of gremlin teen and tired adult who was also probably a gremlin teen is absolutely hilarious. I’m a pretty big fan of team Mustang, too, but that’s because I’m just generally a huge sucker for found families. *vaguely gestures to all of my art* Also, Olivier and Mustang have such an underrated rivalry.
What popular headcanon do I disagree with?
I can’t really think of one at the moment. Maybe that he has a fatherly relationship with Edward? I think he’s more like the uncle that comes over for holidays and asks Ed whether he has a girlfriend yet or not and calls him sport.
What position do they sleep in?
He’s a stomach sleeper but he always has to have one arm under the pillow. He kicks the covers off of him in his sleep and wakes up sprawled out.
What crossover AU would I like to see?
This one is hard because I don’t think about crossover AUs a whole lot. I think it might be funny if he met Therion from Octopath Traveler considering that he also has fire powers but essentially acts like Shadow the Hedgehog.
What’s my favorite outfit they’ve worn?
This one! I just really like scarves and formal wear.
Greed
What song reminds me of them?
Oh, so many songs. The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience, Morirò Da Re by Måneskin, So What by P!nk, The Stand by Mother Mother, I’m the One You’re Looking For by Lynda Carter, and Community Gardens by The Scary Jokes are all ones that I’ve associated with him for a while.
What do they smell like?
Charcoal, blood, and expensive liquor. I have a bit of a headcanon that all homunculi smell faintly of blood.
An OTP
I am such a sucker for Greedol. It actually originally started as a bit of a joke, and then I realized that I actually really like both their existing dynamic and potential as a pairing. People are always trying to ship Greed with anybody and everybody who isn’t one of his friends and that just feels so strange to me. Like he’s got a bodyguard who’s extremely loyal to him right there, so why not ship them?
A NOTP
Romantic Greedling is just… ew. I’ve also seen people shipping him with Edward and Lan Fan which is equally gross.
What are my favorite platonic/familial relationships?
Really just him with the whole Devil’s Nest gang, but especially Martel and Bido. I feel like he and Martel are drinking buddies that get competitive with one another when it comes to things like cards and knife tricks. On the other hand, I think he’s close with Bido because he appreciates that he’s a great listener and very trustworthy. I also like the idea that him and Lust were close with each other, so they’re another favorite dynamic for me.
What popular headcanon do I disagree with?
It’s not really a headcanon, but I really don’t like how people portray him as a complete idiot. Arrogant, reckless, and lacking a certain practicality that comes with growing up as a normal human? Yes. Utter dumbass who doesn’t even know his abc’s? Absolutely not. He’s cunning, charismatic, and people-smart. After 200 years of living, he’s probably got a surprising amount of wisdom when it comes to people, too.
What position do they sleep in?
Very comfortably next to his Hatsune Miku body pillow. He doesn’t sleep a lot since he doesn’t need to, but when he does, he alternates between sleeping on his stomach and side. He can’t sleep without a few pillows, plenty of soft blankets, and a lover next to him (or so he claims.)
What crossover AU would I like to see?
Him and Bad Grief from Pathologic would be an unholy combo. They would scam people together while internally crying about how they just want their friends to love them.
What’s my favorite outfit they’ve worn?
I personally think that original Greed has the best design (except for those godforsaken shoes of his.)
Havoc
What song reminds me of them?
I actually don’t really have a whole lot of songs that I associate with him. Maybe Don’t Worry Baby by The Beach Boys? It kind of gives me his vibes.
What do they smell like?
Gunpowder, cigarette smoke, and roses from the bouquets he buys.
An OTP
I really like Havoc x Catalina a lot. Part of it might be my completionist mind telling me to ship the two characters that complain about not having partners, but also I think himbo x energetic girl has great energy. They also work painfully well in film noir AUs.
A NOTP
Havoc x Lust is really pretty eh, but I’ve not seen a whole lot of people shipping it. For the most part, I haven’t seen a whole lot of bad ships with him.
What are my favorite platonic/familial relationships?
As much as I enjoy them romantically, I also really love his friendship with Roy and Riza. I think that his friendship with Breda is underrated, too. The idea of Breda coming to visit Havoc every other day to keep him company since he’s the least busy of team Mustang lives in my head rent free.
What popular headcanon do I disagree with?
I’ve not heard a whole lot of headcanons regarding him, so I don’t have a whole lot to disagree with.
What position do they sleep in?
Unlike Mustang who progressively sprawls out in his sleep, Havoc just flops down on the bed and sleeps in whichever position he lands in. He has a tendency to flail a bit in his sleep, especially if he’s dreaming a lot. Post paralysis, he sleeps on his back and is far more still with his arms.
What crossover AU would I like to see?
Him and Alfyn Greengrass from Octopath Traveler! They’re my blonde himbos of choice, so I legally have to think they’d be fun in a crossover.
What’s my favorite outfit they’ve worn?
This one! It’s really simple, but I like it a lot.
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Info
Name: Aster
Pronouns: He/They
Age: 21+
Other socials
Reddit: u/bluestaraster
Discord: asternightingale
Rp 「new account, follows from @/despairs-memorial」
@despairs-memorial 「Danganronpa canon」
@hopes-memorial 「Danganronpa ocs」
@coronated-prima-donna 「Genshin」
@forgotten-from-the-realm 「BG3/DnD ocs」
Fandom:
@commonwealth-misfit [fallout]
Misc:
@catboy-kiyotaka-edits [editing blog]
@sword-and-nightingale [memes/reblogs]
Fandoms/Interests
Danganronpa
Deadman Wonderland
Dimension 20
Don't Starve
Dungeons and Dragons
Dungeon Meshi
Durarara!
Fallout
Fear and Hunger
The Gray Garden
Hazbin Hotel
Hello Charlotte
Keep In Mind
Ken Gao Games
Metaphorical cannibalism
Needy Streamer Overload
Oshi no Ko
Pathologic
Pokemon
Segawa Games
The Evillious Chronicals
Your Turn to Die
Vampire the Masquerade
Comfort Characters/Favorites/Gender/Kin List [only as a joke]
Abiko Samejima [Oshi no Ko]
Ai Hoshino [Oshi no Ko]
Alcor [Devil Survivors 2]
Ame/Kangel [Needy Streamer Overload]
Anri Sonohara [Durarara]
Arbus [The Gray Garden]
Astarion Ancunin [Baldur's Gate 3]
Aster Laker [Tales of Symphonia]
Ater [The Gray Garden]
Badoh [Walking on a Star Unknown]
Basil [Omori]
Colin Provolone [Dimension 20]
Corme [Walking on a Star Unknown]
Charles Eyler [Hello Charlotte]
(All) Charlotte(s) [Hello Charlotte]
Eiji "Gin" Kamiya [Devil Survivors]
Emmet/Kudari [Pokemon]
Emil Castagnier [Tales of Symphonia]
Es [Alter Ego]
Etihw [The Gray Garden]
Falin Touden [Dungeon Meshi]
Frei/Oracle [Hello Charlotte]
Gale Dekarios [Baldur's Gate 3]
Gertrude Jekyll [Farethere City]
Gundham Tanaka [Danganronpa]
Haru [Devil Survivors]
Hatsune Miku [Vocaloid]
Ichimatsu Matsuno [Osomatsu-san]
Ingo/Nobori [Pokemon]
Izaya Orihara [Durarara]
Jungo Torii [Devil Survivors 2]
Juzo Sakakura [Danganronpa]
Kakashi Hatake [Naruto]
Kantera/Ryuuzen [End Roll]
Katakuri Charlotte [One Piece]
Kazuya Minegishi/Protagonist [Devil Survivors]
Keita Wakui [Devil Survivors 2]
Kiyotaka Ishimaru [Danganronpa]
Kcalb [The Gray Garden]
Kujou Sara [Genshin Impact]
Laios Touden [Dungeon Meshi]
Larry/Aoki [Pokemon]
Ludger Kresnik [Tales of Xilla]
Lycion [Dungeon Meshi]
Macarona/Macaroni [The Gray Garden]
Marcille Donato [Dungeon Meshi]
Midorino [Walking on a Star Unknown]
Mintaka Alcantara [Pokemon: Reborn]
Mondo Oowada [Danganronpa]
Morty/Matsuba [Pokemon]
Naomichi Kurumada [Your Turn to Die]
Neil Watts [To the Moon]
Raspbel Perserves [The Gray Garden]
Rawberry/Rawberrya Perserves [The Gray Garden]
Roy Mustang [Full Metal Alchemist]
Russell Seager [End Roll]
Sayaka Maizono [Danganronpa]
Senji Kiyomasa [Deadman Wonderland]
Shiro [Deadman Wonderland]
Shizuo Heiwajima [Durarara]
Sonia Nevermind [Danganronpa]
Takaaki Ishimaru [Danganronpa]
Takumi Hijirihara [Danganronpa]
Tartaglia/Childe/Ajax [Genshin Impact]
Toto Sakigami [Deadman Wonderland]
Uta [One Piece]
Xan Feur'sel [Baldur's Gate 1]
Yamato Hotsuin [Devil Survivors 2]
Yor Briar [Spy x Family]
Yu Ishigami [Kaguya-Sama, Love is War]
Yurika [Walking on a Star Unknown]
Yuuya/Pigula [Farethere City]
Liked Characters:
Alice [Tales of Symphonia]
Aquamarine Hoshino [Oshi no Ko]
Angel Dust [Hazbin Hotel]
Ayumu Fujimori [Fanganronpa]
Chihiro Fujisaki [Danganronpa]
Chilchuck Tims [Dungeon Meshi]
Daiya Oowada [Danganronpa]
Elize Lutus [Tales of Xilla]
Elle Mel Marta [Tales of Xilla]
Gin Ibushi [Your Turn to Die]
Haku Yuki [Naruto]
Hibiki Otonokoji [Fanganronpa]
Kanade Otonokoji [Fanganronpa]
Kabru [Dungeon Meshi]
Kyoujuro Rengoku [Demon Slayer]
Loid Forger [Spy x Family]
Inosuke Hashibira [Demon Slayer]
Izutsumi [Dungeon Meshi]
Maki Harukawa [Danganronpa]
Marta Lualdi [Tales of Symphonia]
Mikan Tsumiki [Danganronpa]
Mitsuri Kanroji [Demon Slayer]
Monaka Towa [Danganronpa]
Mukuro Ikusaba [Danganronpa]
Nagisa Shingetsu [Danganronpa]
Nico Hakobyan [Fanganronpa]
Nico Himuro [Fanganronpa]
Nifty [Hazbin Hotel]
Obanai Iguro [Demon Slayer]
Peko Pekoyama [Danganronpa]
Rosie [Hazbin Hotel]
Ruby Hoshino [Oshi no Ko]
Sakura Oogami [Danganronpa]
Sara Chidouin [Your Turn to Die]
Satou Matsuzaka [Happy Sugar Life]
Senshi of Izganda [Dungeon Meshi]
Takemichi Yukimaru [Danganronpa]
Takiko Ushina [Fanganronpa]
Veronika Grebenshchikova [Fanganronpa]
Discomfort Characters:
Chihiro Fujisaki [Danganronpa, Discourse]
Izuru Kamukura [Danganronpa, Certain Fan Interpretations]
Kazuichi Souda [Danganronpa, Stalker Moments]
Tenko Chabashira [Danganronpa]
Disliked Characters:
Boruto Uzumaki [Naruto]
Byakuya Togami [Danganronpa]
Haiji Towa [Danganronpa]
Hifumi Yamada [Danganronpa]
Kazuto Kirigaya [Sword Art Online]
Makoto Naegi [Danganronpa]
Teruteru Hanamura [Danganronpa]
Twelam [Walking on a Star Unknown]
Ships I like bc why not:
Bandage Buddies [Danganronpa, Platonic]
Celesaya [Danganronpa]
Kirizono [Danganronpa]
Ishimondo [Danganronpa]
Ishikuro [Danganronpa, Platonic]
Macaberry [Grey Garden]
Munasaka [Danganronpa]
Obamitsu [Demon Slayer]
Oowashima [Danganronpa, Platonic]
Sondam [Danganronpa]
Sonikan [Danganronpa]
Ships I dislike:
Any ships with Haji Towa [Danganronpa]
Any ships with WoH [Danganronpa]
Celesishi [Danganronpa]
Chimondo [Danganronpa]
Daikaaki [Danganronpa]
Despaircest [Danganronpa]
Fujishira(?) [Danganronpa]
Junkan [Danganronpa]
Kresnik-cest [Tales of Xilla]
Naegicest [Danganronpa]
Naeishi [Danganronpa] [HUGE discomfort]
Naeishiwada [Danganronpa] [HUGE discomfort]
Naewada [Danganronpa]
Sounia [Danganronpa]
Soutaka [Danganronpa]
Takaaki x Hiroko [Danganronpa]
Togafuka [Danganronpa]
Toudencest [Dungeon Meshi]
Otonokoji-cest [Fanganronpa]
Yamaceles [Danganronpa]
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Kats Anime List (о´∀`о)
Open to any recommendations. This list is MY opinion.
Rankings:
Haikyuu
Jujutsu Kaisen
Space Dandy
Yona of the Dawn
Kimi Ni Todoke
Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan
Natsume’s Book of Friends
Kamisama Kiss
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
Fairy Tail
The Apothecary Diaries
Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle
My New Boss is Goofy
Your Lie in April
Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Dukes Mansion
BLUELOCK
Skip and Loafer
Demon Slayer
A Sign of Affection
Attack on Titan
Horimiya
Fruits Basket
Kiss Him, Not Me
Sasaki and Miyano
Spy X Family
Kaguya-Sama: Love is War
A Silent Voice
Your Name
Our Love Has Always Been 10 Centimeters Apart
Given
Banana Fish
The Millionaire Detective
Komi Can’t Communicate
My Hero Academia
Naruto Shippuden
Monthly Girls Nozaki Kun
Play It Cool Guys
Snow White with the Red Hair
Kuroko’s Basketball
91 Days
Heavenly Delusion
Link Click
Tsukigakirei
Blue Spring Ride
Yuri!! On Ice
My Dress Up Darling
Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku
Ouran High School Host Club
Princess Jellyfish
Buddy Daddies
My Love Story with Yamada-Kun at Lvl. 999
The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.
Tomo-Chan is a Girl
Death Parade
Kotaro Lives Alone
A Galaxy Next Door
Gauken Babysitters
My Love Story
Tsurune
The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague
The Yuzuki Family’s Four Sons
Mr. Villains Day Off
Kakuriyo
The Devil is a Part Timer
Steins Gate
Trigun
Ron Kamonohashi’s Forbidden Deductions
The Yakuza’s Guide to Babysitting
Sing a Bit of Harmony
Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun
Salaryman’s Club
Josee, the Tiger and the Fish
The Garden of Words
The Stranger by the Shore
Kono Ota Tomare!: The Sounds of Life
My Senpai is Annoying
Bungo Stray Dogs
Japan Sinks
Nodame Cantabile
Toradora
One Punch Man
Cowboy Bepop
Ghost Stories
The Way of the Househusband
Edens Zero
Angel Beats
The Royal Tutor
Bananya
I Can’t Understand What My Husband is Saying
The Girl and Her Guard Dog
Plastic Memories
Our Last Crusade or the Rise of a New World
Anohana
Akira
(As of March 27, 2024)
Watchlist:
Tokyo Ghoul
Soul Eater
Tokyo Revengers
Fire Force
Assasination Classroom
The Rising of Shield Hero
Cells at Work
Parasyte
Violet Evergarden
The Promised Neverland
Seven Deadly Sins
Kill La Kill
Banished From the Hero’s Party
The Daily Life of the Immortal King
Blue Exorcist
Black Butler
5 Centimeters per Second
Barakamon
Hanada-Kun
Ace Attorney
Hetalia
Mieruko-Chan
Daily Lives of High School Boys
Devils Line
Death Note
Sk8 the Infinity
Code Geass
Orange
Lycoris Recoil
I Got a Skill Cheat in Another World and Became Unrivaled in the Real World Too
Girlfriend, Girlfriend
The Angel Next Door Spoils Me Rotten
Classroom of the Elite
Sound! Euphonium
Astra Lost in Space
Shimoneta
Nana
Anime Guys I ✨simp✨ For (๑>◡<๑)
(In no particular order… kinda)
Jujutsu Kaisen
Toji Fushiguro
Nanami Kento
Gojo Satoru
Higuruma Hiromi
Choso Kamo
Yuuta Okkotsu
Fairy Tail
Gray Fullbuster
Loke
Rogue Cheney
Haikyuu!!
Bokuto Koutaro
Daichi Sawamura
Semi Eita
Matsukawa Issei
Osamu Miya
Ukai Keishin
Tanaka Ryunosuke
Ushijima Wakatoshi
Shugo Meian
Yona of the Dawn
Hak
My Hero Academia
Hawks
Natsuo Todoroki
Hitoshi Shinso
Shota Aizawa
Fruits Basket
Hatsuharu Soma
Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan
Usahara Tobikichi
Mitsuo Kumatani
Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle
Cursed Dentist
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
Roy Mustang
Naruto Shippuden
Tobirama Senju
Kuroko’s Basketball
Daiki Aomine
Taiga Kagami
Rinnosuke Mitobe
Ouran High School Host Club
Takashi Morinozuka
Play It Cool Guys
Mima Takayuki
As of February 3, 2023
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Songs that make me think of the Marauders (PART TWO)
(part one)
Everything Happens For A Reason (Madison Beer)
Remus, after the Prank, completely heartbroken and completely confused… when did Sirius stop loving him in that sweet, gentle way he’d always promised to?
When did Sirius start seeing him as the monster he's always sworn Remus isn't?
I used to believe
That everything happens for a reason
But I just can't find a reason
You'd wanna hurt me so bad
Can't get no relief
Time moves on with the seasons
But I still can't find a reason
You'd wanna hurt me so bad
And what in the world did I do to deserve such a pain in my heart?
Guess it's true
I'm never getting over you
I still love you
I still want you
I still love you
If You Love Her (Forest Blakk)
This is the song Sirius and Remus play during their first dance. Fight me.
She always has trouble falling asleep
And she likes to cuddle while under the sheets
She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV
There's still a few other things
She loves love notes and babies and likes giving gifts
Has a hard time accepting a good compliment
She loves her whole family and all of her friends
So if you're the one she lets in
Kiss her with passion as much as you can
Run your hands through her hair whenever she's sad
And when she doesn't notice how pretty she is
Tell her over and over, so she never forgets
Take it
If she gives you her heart, don't you break it
Let your arms be a place she feels safe in
She's the best thing that you'll ever have
On days when it feels like the whole world might cave in
Stand side by side and you'll make it
She'll love you if you love her like that
cowboy like me (Taylor Swift)
Sirius and Remus go on the run together after James’ death. Not at first - they meet up in a bar about three months after. But after that three months they’re inseparable again - desperately in love, playing Robin Hood, driving a blue Mustang into the sunset - they’re miserable, sure, but they’re also very good at pretending they’re not.
And you asked me to dance
But I said, "dancing is a dangerous game"
Oh, I thought, this is gonna be one of those things
I've got some tricks up my sleeve
Takes one to know one
You're a cowboy like me
Never wanted love, just a fancy car
Now I'm waiting by the phone
Perched in the dark
Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear
Like it could be love
I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it
You're a bandit like me, eyes full of stars
Hustling for the good life
Never thought I'd meet you here
It could be love
We could be the way forward, and I know I'll pay for it
And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to mess this up
And the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one
And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town
But that was all before I locked it down
Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon
With your boots beneath my bed
Forever is the sweetest con
And I'm never gonna love again
I'm never gonna love again
no body, no crime (Taylor Swift)
Sirius Black’s soulmate, James Potter, is dead. And Sirius knows who did it.
He just can’t prove it.
(I rewrote it for y'all. You're welcome.)
Cell Block Tango (from "Chicago")
The Dark Marauders. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Severus, and Regulus - performing uselessly sensual dance routines in Azkaban because why the fuck not? Their Dark Lord is dead, and all they have left of him is their loyalty and a bout of snakes and skulls on their arms.
(Wrote this one too. Again, you're welcome.)
Broken Bones (KALEO)
Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and every full moon, this song runs through his mind as James and Sirius envelop his naked body in their arms and tell him he’s beautiful, and so so good, and they’ll love him forever and ever and ever, they promise. And for a single, measley second every time, Remus believes them.
Hoping things might go my way
Some might say I talk loud, see if I care
Unlike them, don't walk away from my fear
I've busted bones, broken stones, looked the devil in the eye
I hope he's going to break these chains
Another hard day, no water, no rest
I saw my chance, so I got him at last
I took his six shooter, put two in his chest
He'll never say a word no more
The devil got him good for sure
Ain't got no place to call a home
Only chains and broken bones
Ain't got no place to call a home
So come on lord, won't you take me now?
So come on lord, what you waiting for?
Oh, the devil's going to make me a free man
The devil's going to set me free
The devil's going to make me a free man
The devil's going to set me free...
traitor (Olivia Rodrigo)
Sirius is innocent. Remus believes that. Remus knows that. He knows it. Because he doesn’t know how he’ll live if he’s wrong. Well, okay, he knows -
He won’t.
Brown guilty eyes and little white lies
Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew
That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse
I kept quiet so I could keep you
And ain't it funny how you ran
And ain't it funny how you said you were friends?
Now it sure as hell don't look like it
Ain't it funny all the twisted games
All the questions you used to avoid?
Ain't it funny?
Remember I brought her up, and you told me I was paranoid
You betrayed me
And I know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt
Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
When she's sleeping in the bed we made
Don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me
Never Not (Lauv)
The Marauders, slowly breaking apart over the years. James and Lily settle in London, and Sirius and Remus run off to travel the world. They split off somewhere in Asia and forget to call. Peter cleans dishes in Hogwarts’ kitchens and Severus spends his time in those dungeons, teaching potions and writing letters he never sends. Regulus holes up in Grimmauld Place, never marrying, never moving. James and Lily divorce when Harry is ten, and go their separate ways. They always move forward, but -
They also always look back.
I lost myself, seventeen
Then you came, found me
There's a room in my heart with the memories we made
Took them down but they're still in their frames
There's no way I could ever forget
For as long as I live, and as long as I love
I will never not think about you
From the moment I loved
I knew you were the one
And no matter whatever I do
I will never not think about you
What we had only comes once in a lifetime
For the rest of mine, I'll always compare
To the room in my heart with the memories we made
Nights on fifth, in between B and A
Didn't we have fun?
Didn't we have fun, looking back?
We were so beautiful
We were so tragic
No other magic could ever compare...
Scared To Live (The Weeknd)
Sirius and Remus after twelve years apart, having no idea what to do with each other. They were in love once - are in love? - but those days are long gone. Sirius sees how Remus looks at Tonks, but knows Remus can’t ever really love her, much as he likes her, because his heart has forgotten every word but Sirius' name. And Sirius is happier than he thought he’d ever get to be without James, really, though he’s far from happy or even content - is this all there is? Is this how they die? Is this their ending?
No. No. No, after everything, this can’t be it - this cannot be it.
(But if he dies, well... he hopes Remus lives on without him. Happier.
I guess.)
When I saw the signs, I should've let you go
But I kept you beside me
And if I held you back, at least I held you close
Should have known you were lonely
I know things will never be the same
Time we lost will never be replaced
I'm the reason you forgot to love
So don't be scared to live again
Be scared to live again
No, don't be scared to live again
You always miss the chance to fall for someone else
Cause your heart only knows me
They try to win your love, but there was nothing left
They just made you feel lonely
I am not the man I used to be
Did some things I couldn't let you see
Refused to be the one who taints your heart
I hope you know that
I've been praying that you find yourself
We fell apart, right from the start
I should have made you my only
So don't be scared to live again
I said, "don't be scared to live again"
I Know Where I've Been (from "Hairspray! Live")
Remus and Sirius, sad and happy together, alone in Grimmauld Place and dancing deep into the night as this song plays on the record player and they sway. Their whole lives have been war, but in these moments, there is peace.
Fleeting, hopeless peace, but peace nonetheless.
There's a light in the darkness
Though the night is black
There's a light burning bright
Showing me the way
But I know where I've been
There's a cry in the distance
It's a voice that comes from deep within
There's a cry asking why
I pray the answer's up ahead
Cause I know where I've been
There's a road we've been travelling
Lost so many on the way
But the riches will be plenty
Worth the price we had to pay
There's a dream in the future
There's a struggle we have yet to win
And there's pride in my heart
Cause I know where I'm going
And I know where I've been
Brooklyn Baby (Lana Del Rey)
Sirius Black being himself, and James Potter and Remus Lupin being in love with him.
They say I'm too young to love you
I don't know what I need
They think I don't understand
The freedom land of the seventies
I think I'm too cool to know ya
You say I'm like the ice, I freeze
I'm churning out novels like
Beat poetry on Amphetamines
Well, my boyfriend's in a band
He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed
I've got feathers in my hair
I get down to beat poetry
And my jazz collection's rare
I can play most anything
I'm a Brooklyn baby
They say I'm too young to love you
They say I'm too dumb to see
They judge me like a picture book
By the colors, like they forgot to read
I think we're like fire and water
I think we're like the wind and sea
You're burning up, I'm cooling down
You're up, I'm down
You're blind, I see
But I'm free
I'm free
I'm talking about my generation
Talking about that newer nation
And if you don't like it, you can beat it
Beat it, baby
You never liked the way I said it
If you don't get it, then forget it
Cause I don't have to fucking explain
Yeah, my boyfriend's pretty cool
But he's not as cool as me
Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby
I'm a Brooklyn baby
I Can't Go On Without You (KALEO)
Sirius and Remus are lost to each other, for twelve years and then two more, Sirius locked behind bars and then a Veil and Remus on the run alone and then with a woman he’s somehow fooled himself into thinking he loves.
They’ll be together again. One day. But for now, there’s nothing to do but wait.
Alone.
Well, they thought they were made for each other
Only thinking of one another
Never thinking just for one second
She would take a different attraction
We don't want that
We don't want that, oh no
I can't go on without you
Oh, so what's the point of breaking my sweet heart?
She wanted me to let down my guard
Well, you know what they say
It's better that way
So, you better hush and walk away
Well, was I supposed to wait for you sweetheart?
And hide away the shame, yes I keep it all inside
Though the thought had crossed my mind!
To do all the things I'll regret, we don't want that
I can't, I can't, I can't go on without you
I can't go on without you, oh, lord
I can't go on without you, babe
Oh, she loves me
She loves me not
She loves me
My love don't love me...
Oh, so what is left but a broken man?
Cause nothing hurts like a woman can
I can't go on without you...
happier (Olivia Rodrigo)
Sirius as he watches Remus fall in love with Tonks right in front of him, unable to love Sirius the same way after everything. Sirius loves his cousin - he does. He just kind of hates her, too.
There’s been a lot of things in this life he’s been afraid of, but Remus leaving him never even crossed his mind.
That was his mistake, I guess…
Fuck.
You've moved on, found someone new
One more girl who brings out the better in you
And I thought my heart was attached
For all the sunlight of our past
But she's so sweet, she's so pretty
Does she mean you forgot about me?
And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?
An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean
Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?
And now I'm picking her apart
Like cutting her down make you miss my wretched heart
But she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies
Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me
And think of me fondly when your hands are on her
I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me
I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go
So find someone great, don't find no one better
I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.
That's The Kind Of Woman (Julia Michaels)
James left Sirius for Lily, and that was okay. Sirius loved Lily, and he loved James, so it was okay. At least he still had Remus.
Well, he did. Until Tonks came along.
It’s okay. Really. Sirius has gone his whole life feeling unloved.
He can die that way too.
OR
James, Sirius, and Remus fell in love in fourth year, and it was wonderful. And then Sirius started to notice things - small things, little things. Like the gentle way James and Remus are with each other, the way they wake each other up with kisses in the morning and dance the night before the full moon, the way their hands fit together the way everyone expected Sirius’ to fit with them, but better.
The way they love each other more than him.
And that’s okay. That’s fine. He wants them to be happy, and they make each other happy. So he lets them go the last day of seventh year, and disappears into the wind never to be seen again, just like their love for him.
Childhood picket fence, smells like confidence
Raised with a little more common sense
Isn't always on defense
Sits up straight and knows how to take a compliment
Jealous but the right amount
Isn't scared of missing out, missing out's scared of missing her
Doesn't buy things to fill voids
Doesn't hate the sound of her own voice
Doesn't cry when someone leaves
Isn't contradictory
Mind takes a break when she falls asleep
Always takes her own advice
Crosses T's and cuts her ties
Figured out sympathize from empathize
Doesn't keep those letters in a drawer
Doesn't keep a closet full of things she bought and never wore
Gives all her attention to the people that are with her
She still loves to dance
She still loves her sister
If the me I am
Walked out that door
Would I miss her?
Maybe, a little bit, sure
Oh, I love myself, but I'd love her more
Yeah, that's the kind of woman I'd leave me for
Quarter Past Midnight (Bastille)
The Marauders steal a Muggle’s pick-up truck and fly down the highway, literally. The lights are bright and the music is loud, and they’re screaming with laughter, dancing and kissing under the stars. It’s that one perfect moment, the one poets write about seeking their whole lives. This is that moment, this is their moment.
They’ll never be this happy again.
It's a quarter past midnight as we cut through the city
The streets are getting restless
Good times, bad decisions
And the sirens are mending some hearts
But we're the losers on our back seats
Singing love will tear us apart
It's a quarter past midnight, still avoiding tomorrow
It's a quarter past midnight, but we're just getting going
We keep on running through a red light
Like we're trying to burn the night away
This is my favorite part
Help me piece it all together, darling
Before it falls apart
And the speakers are blowing
We want the bodies on the billboards
Not the lives underneath them
And now we're crawling up the walls again
And it's a quarter past twelve
And you said we'd leave this place in dust
And fall from heaven straight through hell
We never know what we have
We never knew what we had
We keep on running
Why are we always chasing after something
Like we're trying to throw our lives away?
And the secrets are flowing
Our lips are getting looser
I don't know what I'm saying
We never knew what we had
I never know what I've had
Home (Edith Whiskers)
The Marauders remember each other in a haze - well. The ones that are still alive do, that is.
Regulus, falling.
James, fighting.
Lily, screaming.
Sirius, smiling.
Peter, choking.
Remus, crying.
Severus, bleeding.
They all went, and not one peacefully.
If I close my eyes, I can still see them. Laughing.
I do love my ma and pa
Not the way that I do love you
Well, holy moly, me oh my, you're the apple of my eye
Girl, I've never loved one like you
Man, oh, man, you're my best friend, I scream it to the nothingness
There ain't nothing that I need
Well, hot and heavy pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, Jesus Christ
Ain't nothing please me more than you
I'll follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark
Moats and boats and waterfalls, alleyways and pay phone calls
I've been everywhere with you
We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night
Nothing new is sweeter than with you
And in the streets, we run afree, like it's only you and me
Geez, you're something to see
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is whenever I'm with you
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
I Hate That You're Happy (Tiny Little Houses)
Severus is alone, alone again. Lily’s gone. She’s run off to marry James Potter, the prat, and Severus - Severus doesn’t hope for much in this life, but he holds out hope for her. Because everyone knows she loves James now, but she loved Severus once too… and she still keeps his green ribbon tied around her ring finger, almost like they’re still married in mind.
So Severus keeps his vows to her. He promised her forever - it’s okay, honestly. That forever can be spent apart. He’ll love her anyway.
He'll love her always.
I'm sorry if I ever hurt you
And I never kissed you enough
And I just have trouble unravelling sometimes
The feelings that I kept locked up
And I know it's my own misfortune
And I didn't hold tight enough
But I found it hard to keep myself whole
While drowning in my bitter blood
I'll stay awake again and start feeling
The spot where you used to reside
And I'll lay beneath these cold empty sheets
Huddled and clutching my sides
And I know it's my own misfortune
And darling, believe me, I do
And you've got your problems, and hell I've got mine
But I find it hard that we're through
And I hate when you're with him
And I hate when you smile
And I hate that for once you don't seem like you've cried
And I hate that you've kissed him
And I hate that I'm sore
But most of all I hate that you're happier than before
And I hate when you're with him
And at night you're entwined
And I hate that I have to pretend that I'm fine
And I hate that I miss you but you miss him more
But most of all I hate that you're happier than before
Most of all I hate that you're happier than before
Call Your Girlfriend (Clara Mae)
James knows Lily isn’t happy with him. It’s been months, she’s had plenty of time to come around, but she just - she doesn’t love him. She never has. He should’ve seen that, but he was too busy hating the greasy-haired git to realize that Lily has always loved him more than anything else.
Gently, he lets her go. He presses the green ribbon he found in her drawer around her hand, and he kisses her goodbye, and he tells her to go after her happiness, whoever that is. And she smiles at him, the tears in her eyes happy, and she runs away, crashing into Severus’ arms. And they look… they look so perfect together. Like they make so much sense.
It’s okay. James can take it.
Regulus is staring at him. James winks at him, and smiles.
Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
Tell her not to get upset
Second guessing everything you've said and done
And when she get upset
Tell her that you never meant to hurt no one
You just tell her that the only way her heart will mend
Is when she learns to love again
And it won't make sense right now
But you're still her friend
Cloud 9 (Beach Bunny)
James, Sirius, and Remus. It’s an unconventional love story, but not one they feel the need to explain.
They can and will dance together forever, butterbeers in their hands and magic in their eyes, hearts colliding in a messy, three-way kiss.
I don't wanna seem the way I do
But I'm confident when I'm with you
Lately all I feel is bad and bruised
Tired of tripping on my shoes
When I start to tumble from the sky
You remind me how to fly
Lately, I've been feeling unalive
But you bring me back to life
But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving
the last great american dynasty (Taylor Swift)
The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, and its last heir, Sirius Potter Lupin.
Fuck those assholes. He’ll be as mad as he likes.
Was the heir to the name, and money
And the town said "how did a middle class divorcée do it?"
The wedding was charming, if a little gauche
There's only so far new money goes
They picked out a home and called it Holiday House
Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud
The doctor had told him to settle down
It must have been her fault his heart gave out
And they said, "there goes the last great american dynasty"
Who knows, if she never showed up what could've been
There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything
Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever
Flew in all the Bitch Pack friends from the city
Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names
And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet
And losing on card game bets with Dalí
There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything
They say she was seen on occasion
Pacing the rocks staring out at the midnight sea
And in a feud with her neighbor
She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green
Fifty years is a long time
Holiday House sat quietly on that beach
Free of women with madness
Their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me
Who knows, if I never showed up what could've been
There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen
I had a marvelous time ruining everything
I Don't Believe You (P!nk)
Regulus, alone after Sirius runs away. All alone in a giant house, all alone with his wretched mother and her Death Eater friends, all alone without the only person he’s ever loved.
Sirius never comes back, but Regulus waits at the door for him every day anyway.
(Sirius writes Regulus a million letters. He wonders why he never answers. Not even with a cursive fuck you. Maybe he should go back… maybe - no.
No, best not.
It’s not like Regulus misses him.)
I don't mind it, I don't mind at all
It's like you're the swing set and I'm the kid that falls
It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried
We come too close, and every night
The passion's there, so it's gotta be right
Right?
I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams when you can't wake up
It looks like you've given up, you've had enough
But I want more, no, I won't stop
Because I just know you'll come around
Right?
Just don't stand there and watch me fall
Cause I still don't mind at all
No I don't believe you
When you say, "don't come around here no more"
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to not love me at all
Cause I don't believe you.
Little Miss Perfect (Annapantsu cover)
Regulus Black, the perfect child.
He and his brother are nothing alike. Sirius is rebellious, Regulus is obedient. Sirius is brash, Regulus is controlled. Sirius is bravery, Regulus is misery. They have nothing in common.
Well -
Except their hearts, bothing beating for a boy named James Potter with twinkling eyes. A boy only one of them will get to kiss.
Regulus is happy to be the one who’s lost out. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he stares up at the white light, the surface too far above to reach.
Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward
Straight path, I don't cut corners
I make a point to be on time
Head of the student council
I don't black out at parties
I jam to Paul McCartney
If you ask me how I'm doing
I'll say...
Well, hmm
Often I ask myself, "what did I do?"
To get as far as I've gotten
A pretty girl walks by my locker
My heart gives a flutter
But I don't dare utter a word
Cause that would be absurd behavior
For little miss perfect
No, I can't risk falling off my throne
Love is something I don't even know
Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward
Straight girl
Little miss perfect
That's me
You don't even know
Rewind, induce amnesia
Deny the truth, that's easier
You're just confused, believe her
When she says there's nothing there
It's never worth it
When you're little miss perfect
Achilles Come Down (Gang Of Youths)
Sirius, running from his family and his predetermined madness, his wildness carrying him so far he makes a circle.
Remus, hiding from love and freedom, his happiness stitched from his skin in ugly, painful scars.
James, watching his best friends tear each other apart, too blind with love to see the monsters they’ve made of each other.
Children, come down.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
You crazy assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth
Just humour us, Achilles
Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken
Remember the pact of our youth?
Where you go, I'm going
So jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you
Soldier on, Achilles
Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
Hurt and grieve, but don't suffer alone
Engage with the pain as a motive
Today of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Achilles, jump now
You are absent of cause or excuse
So self-indulgent and self-referential
No audience could ever want you
You crave the applause, yet hate the attention
Then miss it, your act is a ruse
It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now
It's a pointless resistance for you
Achilles, just put down the bottle
Don't listen to what you've consumed
It's chaos, confusion, and wholly unworthy
Of feeding and it's wholly untrue
You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing
It's all just conjecture and gloom
And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it
Do not waste your self on this roof
Feel your breath course frankly below
And see life as a worthy opponent
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
You want the acclaim, it's not worth it, Achilles
More poignant than fame or the taste of another
Don't listen, Achilles, but be real and just jump
You dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles)
You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)
You want my opinion (no one asked your opinion)
My opinion you've got
You asked for my counsel (no one asked for your thoughts)
I gave you my thoughts
Be done with this now, and jump off the roof
Can you hear me Achilles?
I'm talking to you
Throw yourself into the unknown with pace and a fury defiant
Clothe yourself in beauty untold and see life as a means to a triumph
Achilles, come down.
This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things (Taylor Swift)
Remus gets super drunk after the Prank and gives a fucking performance on top of the coffee table in front of the entirety of Gryffindor. Sirius is bright red. James is on the verge of tears. Severus is gaping. And Remus is seething.
You woke the wolf. Now watch it bite.
And there are no rules when you show up here
Bass beat rattling the chandelier
Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year
So why'd you have to rain on my parade?
I'm shaking my head, I'm locking the gates
It was so nice being friends again
There I was giving you a second chance
But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand
And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you
And so I took an axe to a mended fence
But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately
If only you weren't so shady
Here's a toast to my real friends
They don't care about the HE SAID, SHE SAID
And here's to my baby
He ain't reading what they call me lately
And here's to my mama
Had to listen to all this drama
And here's to you...
Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do
Hahaha, I can't even say it with a straight face!
This is why we can't have nice things, darling
Because you break them, I had to take them away
This is why we can't have nice things, honey
Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?
This is why we can't have nice things
right where you left me (Taylor Swift)
Remus is pretty sure he died on October 31, 1981. He’s not sure why his body’s still moving.
Friends break up, friends get married
Strangers get born, strangers get buried
Trends change, rumors fly through new skies
But I'm right where you left me
Matches burn after the other
Pages turn and stick to each other
Wages earned and lessons learned
But I'm right where you left me
Help, I'm still at the restaurant
Still sitting in a corner I haunt
Cross-legged in the dim light
They say, "what a sad sight"
I swear you could hear a hair pin drop
Right when I felt the moment stop
Glass shattered on the white cloth
Everybody moved on
I stayed there
Dust collecting on my pinned-up hair
They expected me to find somewhere
Some perspective, but I sat and stared
Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?
Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it
She's still 23 inside her fantasy
How it was supposed to be
Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?
Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it
She's still 23 inside her fantasy
And you're sitting in front of me
At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want
Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right
I'm sure that you got a wife out there
Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware
Cause I'm right where
I cause no harm, mind my business
If our love died young, I can't bear witness
And it's been so long
But if you ever think you got it wrong
I'm right where you left me
You left me no choice but to stay here forever...
Every Day a Little Death (from “The Count of Monte Cristo”)
Remus Lupin, waiting.
Waiting, waiting, waiting…
For what, he’s not sure. Maybe death. Maybe madness.
Right now all he’s got is lonely.
Lonely, lonely, lonely; la, la, la…
Come out, come out, wherever you are, Peter. Come out and kill me, you coward.
Another day, another week
Another month, another year
Another day, another night
Until it’s day again
The sun has fled, I go to bed
And scratch a line on the wall
Another day, where nothing changes at all
And everyday shuffles by like the day before!
On its way to the blackest of skies
And everyday a little death comes and paces the floor!
And a little bit more of me dies...
Another day, another week
Another month, another year
Another night I spend alone
Until it’s day again
Our little star has moved away
And all the world is a blur
I only see I am not me
Without her
Everyday a little death for everyday I die
Everyday a little death and still I know not why...
He will come back!
Perhaps but still…
He will return to me!
Another prayer
You’ve got to live for today
I will live when we’re together again
Everyday I will pray until then
And everyday another prayer will bring him close to me
And every night out little star we will share
The one day when I open my eyes
He will be standing right over there, one day
There’s something I must say
I wanted to protect you
I wish there was a way
I could make it untrue
I heard the news today
I fear the worst has happened
An accident occurred
He is dead!
Dead and gone
Rest in peace may flights of angels sing him to his rest
Let me hold and help to heal you!
Everyday a little death...
tolerate it (Taylor Swift)
Remus Lupin. Abandoned, alone, aimless. Unwanted, unseen, unloved. Mad, morbid, monster.
He wonders if in the next life, he’ll be dealt some better cards.
Best not hope. Best not be greedy. He could be dead -
Isn’t sadness better?
I sit and watch you reading with your head low
I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed
I sit and watch you
I notice everything you do or don't do
You're so much older and wiser and I
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
I greet you with a battle hero's welcome
I take your indiscretions all in good fun
I sit and listen
I polish plates until they gleam and glisten
You're so much older and wiser and I
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I'm fine
But what would you do if I
Break free and leave us in ruins
Took this dagger in me and removed it
Gain the weight of you then lose it
Believe me, I could do it!
If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
Téir Abhaile Riu (Celtic Woman)
Sirius being Sirius and Remus and James trying to reign him in. I don’t know. Just vibes, I guess - three soft little gays living out a domestic half-insane life on a little farm in Wales, not a mile from the ashen sea.
Stay here and never you mind
The lights of the town are blinding you
The sailors they come and they go
But listen to what's reminding you
Handsome men surrounding you
Dancing a reel around you
Listen to the music flow
I'm falling for the flow of home
I'm home to dance till dawning
Stay awhile and we'll dance together now
As the light is falling
We'll reel away till the break of day
And dance together till morning
No One Knows Us (BANNERS, Carly Paige)
James, Sirius, and Remus are queerplatonic partners. Well, James is theirs - Sirius and Remus are dating. In love. But they and James, they’re not. Not that it matters - every assumes, from their atypical affection, that they are.
James wishes he could be with them, sometimes. The way he wants. Like it’s normal. Without all the prying eyes.
He wonders if he stole a pirate ship and sailed them somewhere else, if it would be any different. Any easier.
Loving the right people shouldn’t be a burden.
Wish I could kiss you when I wanna
Without all the fear and all the drama
Kill to hold your hand in public
I could try to fight the feeling
Dull it down like sleeping without dreaming
I wanna push you up against the wall
Want them all to hear me call you baby
I know it's never gonna happen
And I've learned to accept that
I accept that
I need you closer
Can we go somewhere?
No one knows us
Leave our world behind
We can hole up in a motel room
Where no one knows us
See You Again (Carrie Underwood)
The Marauders as they die, one by one. James too early, Sirius too soon, Remus too late. Reunited wherever wizards go when they die, after a long, hard road of what felt like a whole lot of goddamn nothing.
But here they are, at last: alone no longer.
Said goodbye, turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone
Faded into the setting sun, slipped away
But I won't cry cause I know I'll never be lonely
For you are the stars to me
You are the light I follow
I can hear those echoes in the wind at night
Calling me back in time, back to you
In a place far away where the water meets the sky
The thought of it makes me smile
You are my tomorrow
Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking
But I stay strong and I hold on cause I know...
I will see you again
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me
Til I see you again
I will see you again...
Bloom (The Paper Kites)
James and Sirius and Remus, loving each other. And not knowing what queerplatonic partners are until Severus and Lily shove a Muggle book into their hands with sweet, manic grins.
“Oh,” James says, with wonder. Sirius kisses him. Remus takes his hand. James looks at them, his eyes wide and twinkling. “Oh, that’s us.”
In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through
Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you
Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out
Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?
When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you
Can I be close to you?
Me and My Husband (Mitski)
Sirius and James. Fight me.
(Oh, and Remus - hopelessly in love with them and chasing after their shenanigans as the world stretches out before them, endless.)
I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute
And then I'll be nothing forever
And all of my memories
And all of the things I have seen will be gone
With my eyes, with my body, with me
But me and my husband, we're doing better
It's always been just him and me together
So I bet all I have on that furrowed brow
And I'm the idiot with the painted face
In the corner, taking up space
But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved
And at least in this lifetime, we're sticking together
Me and my husband, we're sticking together
You & Jennifer (bülow)
Regulus, angry and bitter, left alone in his big black bed wondering what’s so fucking amazing about Lily Evans that could make James want her more than him.
OR
Remus, so fucking in love with his two best friends… his two best friends, who are so fucking in love with each other, who look at each other like they’re the world, who fuck Remus when the world is ending. His two best friends… assholes.
Listen, no, we don't need to be enemies
Ain't got a vision of us in the future with a white picket fence and eternal decisions
Now I'm sitting here wondering, when did this all start?
Would rather be the girl that got away than be under your thumb
Don't need to spend no more time on you, not like I was in love
Not that I'm having a nervous breakdown, I'm just let down
You don't know what that's like though to wait up all night
So I thank you for teaching me how I could live without you
Never needed me, I don't need you
Fuck you and Jennifer, I know that you're out with her
Go pretend that you're just friends
I'll pretend that I'm not hurt
I know all the shit I heard, you can take these bitter words
Fuck you and Jennifer
Go fucking make love to her
Soon You’ll Get Better (Taylor Swift, The Chicks)
James, surrounded by people he can’t fix.
James, holding a screaming Sirius against his chest as he sobs and shakes from the fifth nightmare that week.
James, brushing salve across the scars of a terrified and bruised Remus after yet another full moon.
James, trying to lure a quiet and cold Peter back to them with candy as he recedes even further away into Slytherin robes.
James, fucking Lily; James, kissing Severus; James, touching Regulus -
James, doomed to love people he can’t help.
The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair
I didn't tell you I was scared
That was the first time we were there
Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you
Desperate people find faith, so now I pray too
And I say to you
I know delusion when I see it in the mirror
You like the nicer nurses, you make the best of a bad deal
I just pretend it isn't real
I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky
I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try
And I'll say to you
And I hate to make this all about me
But who am I supposed to talk to?
What am I supposed to do if there's no you?
This won't go back to normal, if it ever was
It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because
cause I have to
Soon you'll get better
Soon you'll get better
You'll get better soon
Cause you have to.
Dance Alone (Blanks)
James Potter being his usual idiotic adorable self. (It’s just the vibes, man.)
Been staring at the wall today, to find some hidden meaning
My momma called to ask me how I'm feeling
I've been running out of things to think
So what's the point of dreaming?
Called all my friends cause I cant get along with all my demons
And I've been watching from a distance how the seasons change
Been staring at the wall today, still looking for some meaning
I tried talking to myself for a change to ask me how I'm feeling
I've been running out of room to think
I need a higher ceiling
I've been lost, lost in the rhythm lately
I don't know, know how to dance alone
Strawberry Blond (Mitski)
James falls in love with Sirius first - make no mistake, it was absolutely Sirius first. Because Sirius was just so bright, and so lovely, and so daring, and he made James laugh as they ran and drove and flew for miles without a direction. Anything for a touch.
And then there came Remus - beautiful, sweet, kind Remus, his eyes so gentle and his smiles so pure, and James wanted to hold him forever, wanted to take his hand and dive right into the sun, wanted to burst into flames. Anything for a taste.
And then Sirius and Remus fell in love with each other, and now James watches them from the outside, grinning behind tears and thinking, Oh god. I’m happy.
I love everybody because I love you
When you stood up, walked away, barefoot
And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape
I looked over it and I ached
I love everybody because I love you
I don't need the city, and I don't need proof
All I need, darling, is a life in your shape
I picture it soft and I ache
Reach out the car window, trying to hold the wind
You tell me you love her, I give you a grin
Oh, all I ever wanted was a life in your shape
So I follow the white lines, keep my eyes on the road as I ache
Look at you, strawberry blond
Fields rolling on, I love it when you call my name
Can you hear the bumblebees swarm?
Watching your arm, I love it when you look my way
FML (Arizona Zervas)
James has a habit of falling for people so fierce he can never refuse them. Regulus is just the last one - the one he keeps, even if he dies still trying to figure out how.
(This is the James and Regulus theme song, I’m calling it.)
I might let you drive me crazy
Usually I ain't the type to stay
Cause you could fall in, and go psycho
Ain't no telling where this might go
But I take my chances either way
You look like somebody that could really hold it down
You look like somebody that would always stick around
I know you probably crazy
All my friends said stay away but that shit just don't faze me
Got a little bit of sass, I like that
You don't take no shit, yeah you fight back
Never let a dude hit it on the first night
I can't even sleep over til I wife that
All these bitches in my phone, hit the boy
But I've been curving everyone for you
Girl I would give you every single password
All you gotta do is let me through
Imma keep it honest, I know that you got a plan
I know you ain't perfect, but basic bitches never last
I don't usually do this type of shit
So baby trust me when I tell you that I'm all about it
Yeah, I might fall in love and let you fuck my life up
Just so I could go and write a song about it
Last man left you brokenhearted, let me treat you right
If you need me I could pull up any night
You just say the words, girl, I don't need a reason
Give me something more than just a lover on the weekend
Come and fuck my life up.
Lay Me Down (Sam Smith)
If James married Regulus instead, but the war still tore them apart and to shreds.
They still fall, they still die, they still lose… but James is captivated by grey eyes rather than green ones, at least in this lifetime. At least for now.
Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be where I was
Right there, right next to you
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark
The moon, and the stars are nothing without you
Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I'm missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside
These tears, they tell their own story
Told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong
Can I lay by your side, next to you? You
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
I don't want to be here if I can't be with you
Forever (... is a long time) (Halsey)
Remus didn’t know anyone could love him, the way he is. You can’t blame him for letting James and Sirius slip through his fingers when he didn’t know they would’ve stayed forever.
He wonders if happiness still sounds like his name on their lips.
I spent a long time watering a plant made out of plastic
And I cursed the ground for growing green
I spent a long time substituting honest with sarcastic
And I cursed my tongue for being mean
Weightless, breathless, destitute
Motionless and absolute
He cut me open, sucked the poison from an aging wound
Now fifty thousand walking deads would cower at this small brunette
It's a nice surprise knowing six feet high
Would reach and grab the moon if I should ask
Or just imply that I want you to be more light
So I could look inside his eyes
And get the colors just right
But love built provinces, callouses, break promises
Cause I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it
What am I thinking? What does this mean?
How could somebody ever love me?
"Tell him he's got bad news coming..."
Used To This (Camila Cabello)
James and Sirius, crazy kids in mad love in a big Muggle city, dancing and kissing under the lights every night… and then meeting Remus, and wondering if all these years they’ve been mistaking magic for something else, because this, love, this is what magic is.
No, I never liked San Francisco
Never thought it was nothing special
Til you kissed me there
No, I never liked windy cities
But I think maybe when you're with me
I like everywhere
It's the strangest feeling
Midnight, I'm not leaving
No, for once, I think I'll stay
I say your name, just listen
Doesn't it sound different?
Never whispered it this way
It's gonna take me a minute
But I could get used to this
The feeling of your fingertips
The feeling of another kiss
Like every tattoo on your skin
I'm memorizing every inch
The callouses on your fingers
I admired them from a distance
Now they're on my cheek
Oh, I've known you forever
Now I know you better
Let's just get carried away
And it bears repeating
Now my heart's bleeding
When you tell me that you'll stay
It's gonna take me a minute
But I could get used to this
I could get used to this...
Love Me Like You (Little Mix)
You cannot tell me James and Sirius did not stand on top of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and serenade Remus with this while he covered his bright red face with his hands and damn near cried with embarrassment and laughter, because they did. I promise you, they did.
I solemnly swear.
Darling, he can't buy my love
It's you I'm dreaming of
so baby, baby
Come and save me
Last night I lay in bed so blue
Cause I realized the truth
They can't love me like you
I've tried to find somebody new
Baby, they ain't got a clue
Can't love me like you
Come Home With Me (from “Hadestown”)
Sirius and James tripping over themselves trying to say hi the first time they meet Remus, his nose buried in a book in a small cafe, at a table by the window in a dress covered in sunflowers, his cheeks pink and his smile blinding.
OR
James, tripping over himself to win Severus over, who just isn’t having it. (Fuck off, Potter.) (Please?) (No.)
You wanna talk to her?
Yes!
Go on. Don't come on too strong.
Come home with me.
Who are you?
The man who's gonna marry you
Is he always like this?
Yes
Your name is like a melody
A singer, is that what you are?
I also play the lyre...
Oh, a liar, AND a player too!
I've met too many men like you.
Oh, no.
I'm not like that.
He's not like any man you've met.
That's what I'm working on -
A song to fix what's wrong.
Take what's broken, make it whole;
A song so beautiful, it brings the world back into tune, back into time.
And all the flowers will bloom...
When you become my wife.
Oh, he's crazy. Why would I become his wife?
Maybe because he'll make you feel alive.
Alive? That's worth a lot...
What else ya got?
You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)
Sirius and James, unable to figure out why they're so bothered by the amount of people who have suddenly started flirting with Remus after the summer of fifth year.
He's just... he's theirs. Their werewolf. Their scrawny motherfucker. Their Moony.
Just.
Theirs.
Oh.
She doesn't get your humor like I do
She'll never know your story like I do
Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor
Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs, and you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me...
Have you ever thought, just maybe, you belong with me?
You belong with me.
Scrawny (Wallows)
I just really love Remus Lupin, okay?
Used to be level with all my friends
Still wear the same shoes I did back then
I don't think they've ever been untied
I can't regret the things I don't try
I'd switch it up but I don't like change
Only content if things stay the same
Don't care to watch the story unfold
Hate feeling like I'm not in control
I've been sleeping with the light on
I tend to freak myself out
Will you come a little closer?
I say the wrong shit at the right times
If I'm offending them, I don't mind
Maybe they all should listen to me
It isn't all about what you see
Question though, how do I look to you?
Am I so thin that you can see through?
I've been sleeping with the light off
I wanted to remember
Will you come a little closer now?
I'll be one of those people you remember
They'll be looking at us when were together
I'll be a mannequin you can dismember
You don't like my clothes but you still like my smile
Take me home to mom but it'll take awhile
They might think they're cooler than me by a mile
I can still have wisdom and look like a child
I'm a scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle
Hate You (Seann Bowe)
Severus and Lily after the Incident. Still loving each other, but not knowing why or how. Having a million things to say, but never the words.
I'm sorry. What a tragic fucking joke.
Look at me now, such a pitiful place
You found someone
I thought that'd help erase
These crazy thoughts that we were never broken
You can't see red flags through rose colored glasses!
I killed you in my head now
If I see you out with friends
I'll just tell myself that it's a phantom or illusion
Guess I haven't chosen which
I hate that I miss you, I hate that I'm lost
I hate those dead flowers you taped to your wall
I hate that you're okay and I can't move on
I hate that somehow this is all my fault!
I hate that I'm wide awake watching the door
I hate these long showers sitting on the floor
I hate in the end it was me who was wrong
I hate that I don't really hate you at all
But I kind of wish I did...
I don't really hate you at all.
Bitter And The Sweetness (The Ready Set)
James and Sirius and Remus, dancing in the rain. Sirius is screaming up at the sky, and James is pulling Remus against him, quelling his shivering in an instant.
“I love you,” he whispers, and Remus beams, throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him as Sirius screams, “ELECTRIFY ME MOTHERFUCKER!” at the clouds.
That’s love, bitch.
Troublemaker look on your face
Followed by a smile and I melt away
It ain't always been this lovely
We turn the ice and start a fire, melt away
It don't happen overnight
It's laughing after fights
Knowing which song I should sing to make you smile again
Your favorite flowers
How I know before you say, "It's gonna be okay"
Love, I think we got time to make mistakes
Bitter and the sweetness, I just love the taste
You give me trouble in the best way
When you let your hair down I can't look away
You've just always been that lovely
We turn the dark into light
You'll be staying close
Like the time we got stuck out in the rain
When you took my hand said, "Baby, we should stay."
Serenade (BANNERS)
James Potter's ghost, watching over Sirius Black forevermore. You don't just leave your soulmate behind. Never.
Stolen, some people stay a life, some for a moment
Some hearts they set a light just to be frozen
And so we're out of time, broken
But now you've got the chance to travel oceans
I hope the world's as wide as you were hoping
Don't let heartache cloud your mind
If the days go darker, darling
And you lose your way
Go on, go on, I'm not beside you
But I'll be the song there in the silence
Let go, let go, darling, it's over now
You're on your own, but I'm on your shoulder
I'll always be your serenade, serenade, I
I'll always be your serenade
They told you
It's not the being drunk, it's being sober
That's when it really hits you that it's over
It's hard to say goodbye
So you can keep me
Somewhere out of reach but if you need me
Just hum these memories and you can feel me
I'm always standing by
Go and write your story, darling
You will find your place
You can always remember that
I'm here to ease your mind
I'm on your side and
You can call me and just like that
I'll sing a song to bring you home, babe
It's Quiet Uptown (from "Hamilton")
Remus, alone. His husband gone, his friends dead, his family murdered. Nothing left for him, until...
"Padfoot."
A sheepish smile.
"Hi, Moony."
Remus takes a deep breath. Sirius reaches for his hand.
They'll figure it out.
There are moments that the words don't reach
There is suffering too terrible to name
You hold your child as tight as you can
And push away the unimaginable
The moments when you're in so deep
It feels easier to just swim down
And so they move uptown
And learn to live with the unimaginable
I spend hours in the garden, I walk alone to the store
And it's quiet uptown, I never liked the quiet before
And I pray, that never used to happen before
If you see him in the street
Walking by himself, talking to himself, have pity
You would like it uptown, it's quiet uptown
He is working through the unimaginable
His hair has gone grey
He passes every day
They say he walks the length of the city
You knock me out, I fall apart
Can you imagine?
Look at where we are
Look at where we started
I know I don't deserve you
But hear me out
That would be enough
If I could spare his life
If I could trade his life for mine
He'd be standing here right now
And you would smile and that would be enough
I don't pretend to know
The challenges we're facing
I know there's no replacing what we've lost
And you need time
But I'm not afraid
I know who I married
Just let me stay here by your side
That would be enough
There are moments that the words don't reach
There's a grace too powerful to name
We push away what we can never understand
We push away the unimaginable
They are standing in the garden
Standing there side by side
She takes his hand
It's quiet uptown
Forgiveness, can you imagine?
Forgiveness, can you imagine?
If you see him in the street
Walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity
They are going through the unimaginable
Dynasty (MIIA)
The Marauders are dead and gone, did you know?
But they were great once. Unstoppable. Invincible, young, in love.
Can you tell? Can you...
Remember?
Some days, it's hard to see if I was a fool or you a thief
Made it through the maze to find my one in a million
And now you're just a page torn from the story I'm living
The scar I can't reverse
And the more it heals, the worse it hurts
Gave you every piece of me, no wonder it's missing
Don't know how to be so close to someone so distant
And all I gave you is gone
Tumbled like it was stone
It all fell down, it all fell down
Thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn't shake
Thought we built a dynasty like nothing ever made
Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up.
Dancing After Death (Matt Maeson)
Oh. It's you. You're here.
I never thought I'd see you again.
Do I know better than this?
You're a word that I can't forget
Though the thought rattles my brain
Will you fold or will you remain?
If I don't get better than this man in my skin
If I let go, would you hold on? Would we fly?
Is it safer if we just say that we tried?
Are we laughing at the danger?
As the sun waits to eclipse
And the taste teases my lips
I'm too tired to wrestle with it
Will we burn, or will we repent?
Are we dancing after death, you and I?
#marauders#the seven marauders#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#lily evans#severus snape#regulus black#james x lily x severus#snily#jily#jeverus#wolfstar#wolfstarbucks#jegulus#sirius & regulus#james &x sirius &x remus#harry potter#music#angst#happiness goddamnit#but mostly not#somebody please enjoy this it took me so long#so#fucking#long#please#have a nice day y'all
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Dust (Epilogue)
Summary: One year later, Dean’s got some big, big plans.
Pairing: Cowboy!Dean x Reader
Warnings: none I can think of
Word Count: ~2,500?
A/N: I can’t promise it’s any good, friends, but here it is! It’s been awhile, so I’m a little rusty! Hope you enjoy. You guys can thank Chris Lane and his song Big, Big Plans for kickstarting my brain. Because wow, it needed it.
Catch up on the series (or re-read) HERE
You practically bounced in your seat as Sam slowly inched the truck and trailer into place near the barns. He didn't need to say anything, you knew he was smirking over there at your impatience to get back and see a certain someone.
You wouldn't outright admit it, but you missed Dean the past few weeks on the road. A busy summer had meant some tough choices at the farm, sending you out to a string of shows with a crew of horses while Dean remained at home. He continued the training schedule as well as he could without you and trucked out to a few nearby shows every now and then.
Riding and training without Dean felt like you were missing a limb, but the runs with your horses had gone well and you'd made some decent money and you were returning home feeling victorious.
Sam had gone along to give you a hand, since moving and showing six horses wasn't exactly a one person activity. He finally put the truck in park and turned to you with an infuriatingly knowing smile. You flipped him off and shoved out of the cab, Rowan on your heels, silencing his laugh with a slam of the door.
The barn staff was already convening to get the horses unloaded and settled, and you nodded in greeting as you ducked into the barn, mercifully cool even in the summer heat. Rowan dashed off down one of the side aisles, and soon enough Benny's booming voice greeted the dog.
"Hey, Benny," you greeted, rounding the corner to find the farrier on the floor with Rowan, both of them grinning.
"Hey cher," he said, still patting Rowan, "Dean's in his office."
"Thanks," you replied, trying not to be in too much of an obvious hurry as you walked away. The giant fans in the wide open doors created a nice breeze through the barn and muffled most of the noise, so Dean didn't hear your footsteps as you approached his office. You stopped and leaned in the doorway, and his attention quickly snapped up from the papers on his desk.
"Hey," you said with a grin. He looked so good it hurt. He was wearing a black Singer Performance Horses t-shirt, his hat abandoned on the hook nearby. He was tanner than usual, the freckles on his face more prominent, his hair cropped short.
Dean stood slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. Then he stepped around his desk, grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him into a kiss. You kissed him back, throwing your arms around his neck as he grabbed your hips.
"Welcome home," Dean said, pausing briefly and pulling back.
"Thanks," you laughed, staring up at him in an effort to re-memorize the details of his face. Dean Winchester was a lot to take in.
"I was busy while you were gone," Dean continued, making you raise an eyebrow. In response, he reached around you to close the door and then turn the lock with a resounding click.
"You put in a lock," you realized, tilting your head suspiciously.
"Just for this," he replied, pulling you back to him.
>>>
"Can I open my eyes yet?" you complained for the umpteenth time, slouched dramatically in the passenger seat of the impala. You had tipped your hat down low over your face after Dean had insisted you not look to maintain the surprise he was planning. He considered the request for a moment thoughtfully. It wasn't like you could know where he was taking you, he was just being dramatic with all the secrecy.
"Yeah alright," he finally agreed, watching as you ripped your hat off excitedly, only to frown at the endless blank landscape around the highway.
Good. You didn't have a clue where he was taking you.
"Where are we going?" you asked again, giving him an imploring look. But Dean only smirked, beyond pleased with himself. It had been a year since you came to the farm, since Dean first met you, and he wanted to do something special for it.
Because you changed everything, and Dean had some big, big plans.
You scowled and crossed your arms with a huff, making Dean chuckle.
"Patience..." he advised, already knowing that wouldn't go over well.
"How much longer?"
"Half an hour."
"Please tell me where we're going."
"Not a chance."
"Dean..." you whined, dragging out the vowels.
"You'll like it, just relax," he insisted, adjusting his grip on the wheel. It wasn't often that he had an excuse to take baby out for a nice long drive, not when so many aspects of his job demanded the towing capacity or the storage space of a pickup. Thankfully, this trip had allowed him to take his prized possession out for a well-deserved joy-ride, with the added bonus of confusing you even further about the nature of this trip.
"I'm not really dressed for a nice dinner," you informed him, making Dean chuckle. You were determined to get the answer out of him.
"I told you, we're not going anywhere to eat," he said, making you hum thoughtfully.
"Are we going to see your dad?" you asked suddenly, and Dean barked out a laugh.
"Definitely not."
You huffed in annoyance again, staring out the window at the fields rolling by, eyes flicking to every sign on the side of the road, likely hoping to pick up on some clue. Dean knew there wouldn't be anything obvious to point out your destination, though. There was a sign, but it was simply for a national park, and those weren't exactly uncommon out here. You perked up a little when Dean finally turned off the highway, but were silent until he pulled down the driveway.
"Devil's Garden?" you asked incredulously, reading the sign at the gate, "what the hell is this?"
"You'll see," Dean replied, easing the impala down the dirt road. He had been here once before, mostly to do some scouting and get more information. Then he had gone straight to Bobby, who had given him a long, strange look before agreeing that it was a fantastic idea.
"I swear to god if you hauled my ass out of bed for a goddamn auction on our day off, I'll kill you," you grumbled as you spotted corrals and holding pens. But there was something different in your voice and you sat up straighter, like you knew there had to be more to this place, more to Dean's plans. And it didn't take long. Up ahead there were more gates, more fencing, and at least a few hundred horses. As the impala crept closer, more details made the picture all too clear. The horses were separated into smaller groups, many with brands or paint on their hip indicating age, which ranged from foals to seniors. Some were skinny, bones poking out of their hides where they shouldn't, and others looked healthy as anything, but they all bore long, tangled manes, and they all were wild.
"Are those..." you breathed, hands gripping the dashboard as you craned your neck to see everything, anything, "mustangs?"
>>>>
You couldn't stop staring.
There were so many horses, and it broke your heart.
Wild, majestic and proud - only to be rounded up and confined to holding pens. The mustangs were becoming a controversial problem as their numbers climbed and their habitat shrunk. Farmers put up fences, landowners didn't want them around, and more and more the mustangs, something you considered a symbol of freedom and strength, were being viewed as a nuisance.
Dean was standing beside you, quiet, as if he knew you needed a moment to sort through your emotions.
"Are they- are they for sale?"
"Adoption," Dean corrected, "we're here to pick out two."
"Two?"
"Well yeah, I want one too."
You turned to find him smirking at you, which only made you grin.
"Where do we start?"
One of the staff members led you around to a few of the corrals, showing you the different horses, separated into age groups. It was an impossible choice, really, but you were sure that you'd know the right one when you saw it. There were a few that caught your eye, a large grey with a dark mane, a couple paints and bays that tugged at your heartstrings, but you couldn't make the choice.
Until you spotted them.
A pair of horses stood near the edge of one pen, almost shoulder to shoulder. One had it's head lowered, eyes half closed in sleep, but the other was alert, ears swiveling to catch sounds from the workers and other horses. They were dark brown bays, solidly built and in apparent good condition, tails swishing idly.
"They're brothers we think," the girl said when you asked, "they're always looking for each other. The bigger one nearly killed us when we separated them for vetting."
You glanced sidelong at Dean only to find him chuckling, scuffing his boot in the loose red tinted dirt.
"Them, I want them," you said firmly, and when Dean met your eyes, you saw approval in his gaze.
"We'll take em," he agreed.
"Do you want to pick them up when you come for the others?" The woman asked, scribbling down the horses' hip numbers on her clipboard.
"Others?" You demanded, whipping back around to face Dean, who only gave you a cheeky grin before answering.
"Yeah, but we'll use a second trailer. Pulling them from this group will be hard enough on them, don't need to do it again."
"Fair enough," she replied, handing her clipboard to Dean for a signature.
"Who are the others?" You hissed as the woman walked away, leaving the two of you leaning against the fence and watching your two new mustangs. They eyed you back suspiciously, the larger one pinning his ears and snapping at a passing chestnut. You knew to be patient with Dean, that pushing for more information too hard wouldn't get you anywhere, but god was it frustrating.
"When we heard how desperate the mustang problem is," Dean finally began, eyes trained on the wild horses before you, "Bobby offered to take a herd."
"A herd,” you repeated, dumbfounded.
"An entire family. So they could stay together, stay wild and unbroken and in their homeland. The back field behind the cabins will be theirs, to live out their days. We won't ride em, won't break em, just give them a safe place to live."
You couldn't help the tears that sparked in the corners of your eyes, and Dean slid an arm around you, pulling you into his side.
>>>>
Dean leaned against the rails of the roundpen, his eyes trained on you where you worked with the slightly smaller of the mustangs, who you had named Gunner. The whole taming wild horses thing was going well, he supposed, all things considered. The transition had been hard on everyone, but things had settled down and the horses were starting to respond. Gunner and Zeppelin hadn't taken kindly to being separated, but everyone agreed that they had to learn to have some independence. For now they lived in adjacent paddocks that Bobby had set up specifically for the mustangs, where they could see each other most of the time.
You'd been brought close to tears by their fear and outrage the first night, slumped, exhausted after a long day on the cabin porch, the horses' panicked calls audible in the distance. Dean had sat there with you for a long time, one hand running back and forth across your back, until finally the calls stopped. The next morning found both horses calm, crunching contentedly on their hay, but they still fell back into their dramatics every now and then.
The days since had brought bruised egos and limbs, frustration and fury, relief and pride. The process of gentling - not breaking - the wild horses was grueling for everyone. Just getting a halter onto them had been a monumental step, and building from there sometimes felt agonizingly slow. Dean had a slightly different approach than you did, but ultimately your goals were the same: build a partnership based on trust and respect.
More often than not Dean would find you sitting in Gunner's pen with your phone or a stack of paperwork or even your lunch, offering and asking him only for companionship. Usually the mustang would ignore you, but lately he’d been getting more curious. Dean had taken to using Kaz to help him with Zeppelin, hoping her model behavior would help the horse understand that he was safe to trust.
Dean bit his tongue before he could call out a suggestion, knowing he would only distract Gunner and that you knew well enough to do your own training. As if you'd read his mind, you turned and did exactly what he would have suggested, a wide grin breaking across your face as Gunner responded appropriately. You had ditched your hat in the late-afternoon heat, hair pulled up into a messy bun, a few strands escaping to fall down to your shoulders. With a start, Dean realized your Singer Performance t-shirt was actually his, the extra length tucked into your jeans. Not a huge surprise, considering you and Rowan practically lived with him now, but it was an oddly welcome sight. He liked seeing you in his clothes.
You ended the training session on a good note, patting Gunner on the neck and leading him out of the pen, back towards his paddock and his brother. Zeppelin whinnied as he heard them coming, and Gunner replied with his own nicker, trotting over to check on his brother as soon as you released him.
"He's looking good," Dean commented, slinging an arm across your shoulders as you joined him.
"That felt really good. I think we made some progress," you agreed, hip-checking him playfully as the two of you set off towards the main house for dinner, "think we can start backing them soon?"
"I think so. Need to go slow, but I think they're ready to try."
"Zep hasn't tried to murder you lately for leaning on him, so that's promising," you laughed, making Dean smile.
"I'm glad you find the thought of my death so funny," he said, pulling you closer and kissing the side of your head roughly. Still laughing, you shoved off of him, jogging a few steps towards the house before turning to face him.
"You almost died once on me, Winchester," you said, smile still on your face but something more serious in your eyes, "no more of that."
"Cross my heart," Dean promised, stopping just in front of you.
"The rest of that is 'hope to die,' dummy," you scoffed, scowling up at him.
"Shut up," he muttered, leaning down and kissing you, long and slow, your arms coming up to circle his neck. He pulled back after a second, staring down into your face and was hit suddenly just how hard he'd been falling. "I ain't goin anywhere," he said, “I’ve got plans.”
“Do you, now?” you asked, tilting your head questioningly. Dean only grinned, his mind wandering back to his cabin, to the ring hidden in one of his boots and the three acres he’d bought from Bobby last year.
Big, big plans alright.
>>>
Devil’s Garden - yes it’s real, and no, I didn’t have to make up something so appropriately named. You can find them on Facebook, too.
#dust#dust epilogue#dean x reader#cowboy!dean#cowboy!dean x reader#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester au#spn au#supernatural au#dean winchester#benny lafitte#sam winchester#bobby singer#singer ranch#omg look i finally finished something
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Introducing Harvest Moon aka Harvey! 5-6yo 15.3hh Devil’s Garden gelding.
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TASK // 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔶𝔰𝔦𝔰
Full name: Jackson Sawyer Raemers
Pronunciation: Jac-sun, S aw-y uh r, Ray-m uh rs
Nickname(s): Jackson often prefers nicknames to his full name, anything in the name of making a situation more informal. Jack, Jacky, Jackson of a bitch, he’s open to creativity.
Birthdate: 11th of November 1990
Age: 29
Zodiac: Saggitarius,
Strengths: Generous, idealistic, great sense of humour
Weaknesses: Promises more than can deliver, very impatient, will say anything no matter how undiplomatic
Sagittarius likes: Freedom, travel, philosophy, being outdoors
Sagittarius dislikes: Clingy people, being constrained, off-the-wall theories, details
Gender: Male
Pronouns: He/Him
Romantic orientation: Heterosexual
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Nationality: American
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Miami
Living conditions: Motel rooms, Jackson currently resides in a motel room shared with Derek, a cat and a large dog. He’s never been too attached to a place and moves around quite often from one place to another. The goal in Miami is to find an apartment with a garden for Bella (The doberman)
Background
Birthplace: Phoenix, AZ
Hometown: Phoenix, AZ
Social Class: Lower., Jackson has never had money and so the vacancy of it in his bank account is nothing he’d ever raised a brow towards. Being thrifty to make ends meet is in his DNA.
Educational achievements: Graduated high school
Father: Jackson Raemers ✝
Mother: Marilyn Johnson
Sibling(s): None
Birth order: There can only be one
Pets: 6 month old doberman named Bella
Previous relationships: He dated Neve Kaplan for 2 years, and everyone is more than aware that it was Neve who cut it off and Jackson had to run and buy a dog to distract himself from the heartbreak.
Arrests: 2
Prison time: 3 years in a confined medical programme created for felonious mutants with powers that could be useful for creating new pharmaceuticals.
Occupation & Income
Current occupation: Gambling and stealing
Dream occupation: Stunt double
Past job(s): Taco Bell employee as a teenager, a mechanic in a garage before stealing the best car in that place and heading west.
Spending habits: Money smart, only spends on what he needs and doesn’t let is dictate him. He probably spends more money on his dog than himself.
In debt?: No, but that doesn’t mean he’s exactly stable either. His account dips from being secure to overdrafted from week to week.
Most valuable possession: A wristwatch bought for him by Neve that’s worth more than he could afford.
Skills & Abilities
Physical strength: Above Average
Speed: Average
Intelligence: Average
Accuracy: Average
Agility: Below Average
Stamina: Above Average
Teamwork: Works very well in a team, he likes having orders and things to do. He’s a better follower than a leader.
Talents: Survival knowledge, fixing things, stealing, identity theft, being a simp
Shortcomings: Clumsiness, impatient, occasionally very immoral.
Languages spoken: English, gibberish
Drive?: Yes
Jump-start a car?: Yes
Change a flat tyre?: Yes
Ride a bicycle?: Yes
Swim?: Yes
Play an instrument?: No
Play chess?: No
Braid hair?: No
Tie a tie?: Yes
Pick a lock?: Yes
Cook?: Yes
Physical Appearance & Characteristics
Faceclaim: Casey Deidrick
Eye colour: Brown
Hair colour: Dark brown
Hair type/style/length: Always kept short and maintainable. He’ll buzz it out of boredom every now and again, it’s really his beard that he puts all of his attention into.
Glasses/contacts?: No
Dominant hand: Right
Height: 6ft 5
Weight: 194lbs
Build: Muscular and lean. He’s mostly legs if i’m honest.
Exercise habits: Daily runs and weight training every other day
Skin tone: Fair
Tattoos:
Torso; upper- Roman numerals of fast and furious’s first release date on his collarbone, moth on sternum, doberman on the left side of his abs, questionable DIY sun with sunglasses the size of a quarter on his ribs
Arms; full-body skeleton on his bicep, lucky dice, snake, joker card and distorted smiley face smoking a cigarette all dotted around the lower arm, all on his left arm.
Legs; dancing frog in a grass skirt that’s drinking beer on the top of his thigh, burning match stick near his ankle, Bon Jovi quote spelt incorrectly above his knee, a glass half full the back of his thigh, grim reaper on a skateboard his shin, all on the right leg
Back; Arrow through compass central, magic 8 ball lower left hand side, large peony left hand shoulder blade
Misc; Neve’s name on the inside of his lip, ‘angel’ and ‘devil’ script on his shoulders
Piercings: None
Marks/scars: Small scar going down from the front of his hairline just touching onto his forehead, skateboard accident when he was younger.
Clothing style: Tacky, short-sleeve button-up shirts worn open over plain tshirts, comfy denim jackets, graphic tshirts, jeans, all black converse or boots. He’ll wear anything he’s given for free or got a good deal on at goodwill.
Jewellery: None
Allergies: Shellfish
Diet: Clean eating most of the time, cheat days go hard. Jackson’s weakness is anything the has been deep fried and served with BBQ sauce.
Physical ailments: None
Psychology
MBTI type: ENTP
Enneagram type: Type 6, the loyalist
Moral Alignment: Chaotic neutral
Temperament: Sanguine
Element: Fire
Emotional stability: Stable
Introvert or Extrovert? Somewhere in the middle
Obsession(s): None
Compulsion(s): None
Phobia(s): Bugs, small places
Addiction(s): Nicotine, adrenaline
Drug use: None
Alcohol use: A lot, he’ll drink when he’s upset, he’ll drink when he’s happy. It’s something that he knows would always be there for him but does his best to not abuse it.
Prone to violence?: Only if provoked
Prone to crying?: No, not if anyone is looking anyway
Believe in love at first sight?: Yes
Mannerisms
Accent: Southwestern
Speech quirks: Rambling, going off topic
Hobbies: Driving, skateboarding, cooking
Habits: Impulsive decisions, smoking
Nervous ticks: Stutter, scratching the back of his neck
Drives/motivations: Fun, liberation
Fears: Fear of being unworthy
Sense of humour?: Dad humour
Do they curse often?: Yes
Favorites
Animal: Any dog
Beverage: Cherry cola
Book: Into the Wild
Colour: Red
Food: Onion rings
Flower: Peonies
Gem: Topaz
Mode of transportation: Chevrolet
Scent: Oranges
Sport: American football
Weather: Sunny
Vacation destination: California, Lake Tahoe
Attitudes
Greatest dream: Total freedom and owning a red mustang. His dreams change weekly, next time you ask he’ll be wishing for a tesla.
Greatest fear: Isolation from others, being left alone or losing everyone
Most at ease when: Driving late at night blasting Fleetwood Mac with all the windows rolled down
Least as ease when: Speaking to someone with authority or having to do something precisely
Worst possible thing that could happen: People favouring his power over his own identity
Biggest achievement: Making 20k in one night at a casino and donating most of it to Mutant orphanages and rehabilitation clinics.
Biggest regret: Bon Jovi tattoo on his leg spelt ‘Jon Bovi’
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BLM Mustangs for Sale - Devils Garden
These horses are in the August 2023 auction - this is a fav HMA of mine (thanks, RAMS)
6 YEAR OLD BAY GELDING HORSE (6723) 15.3 hh (HELLO?)
4 YEAR OLD BROWN GELDING HORSE (6773) 14.3hh
4 YEAR OLD BAY FEMALE HORSE (6795) 14.3hh (hello???? head whomst?)
4 YEAR OLD BAY FEMALE HORSE (6807) 14.3hh
3 YEAR OLD GRAY FEMALE HORSE (6782) 14.1hh
and my immediate auction fave:
8 YEAR OLD ROANRED GELDING HORSE (6842) 14.2hh ( just discovered he was up in January too)
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Six Sentence Sunday, deleted scene 1
This was originally going to be the first chapter of With a Smile and a Song. First chapter was going to be Sam’s pov and second chapter Billy’s, but the whole thing became way too dark for the premise and also veered into territories that I as I white person and not american felt uncomfortable writing about and had not researched enough, plus again, it felt insensitive for the rather frivolous subject. And I had wanted to have Sam in it but in the end that layout turned into two characters of colour talking about a white person so I ditched the idea. I might try to re-purpose it later for a Sam & Goodnight (or Sam/Goodnight) story.
The scrubland is dry for miles and miles and the sun is beating on Sam’s shoulders when he approaches the well and comes up on a brawl.
Actually a brawl is a gross misrepresentation, what he can see is a company of ten men beating a single man on the ground. There is no reason for him to interrupt them, his errand is with another man, but maybe it’s the pitiful wail or the fleeting glimpse of a white hand, large-knuckled and bony wrists, curling around a head, in between rough boots, and in any case Sam has never been able to stick to his own business, so he halts his horse and intercedes.
“He done something?” he asks, nodding towards the prone person on the ground and the men turned around, like children with their game spoiled. He spotted a few blue caps between them, a tarnished insignia here and there, so they are army men then. The world had not been kind to old soldiers, not that it ever had been, Sam had forged himself a new life, becoming a ranger and duty sworn warrant officer, sliding like a smooth layer on top of the soldier. And now he is here, six shooters comfortably on his hips,the star on his chest, staring down a crowd of men with calm authority. The man on the ground has a grey coat, so Sam supposes the root of the argument does not need explaining.
“You know who this is?” one of them asks, a burly white man with a shock of blonde hair, bleached almost white by the sun.
Sam looks over at the man on the ground, he looks mostly like a bundle, the coat ingrained with dirt, the only thing visible a scrawny neck and that feeble hand trying to ward off the attack. He’s bleeding from his nose, streaming red across his face, dirt and blood stuck in his beard.
“Can’t say that I do,no.”
“This is the goddamn Angel of Death, Goodnight Robicheaux.”
Sam looked down on the ground again, and shrugged. “War’s over,” he pointed out mildly.
Still, whatever sympathy Sam had felt for the man dwindled away fast. He might be on the ground now, but how many times had the position been reversed? This man fed and clothed and served on the backs of others? It might do him good to be on the ground for a while. But all the same, if the kicking continued he would die, sure as anything. If he even pulled through now.
“War’s never over,” the man, Robicheaux says, in a voice that sounds like its coming from the bottom of a well. “...Of names once fam'd, now dubious or forgot, And buried ‘midst the wreck of things which were; There lie interr'd the more illustrious dead.”
His voice die away in a wet hitching laugh, blood bubbling from his nose, the men look from him and up to Sam again, the blond man raising his eyebrows and Sam hitches his chin at him, away towards the horses.
“I guess we’d better get going boys,” he says, and still looking Sam dead in the eyes he aims a vicious kick, hitting Robichaux in the ribs. Sam tried not to wince at the sound, watching them mount their horses and disappear, in no particular hurry. After they have gone, there is a distinct lack of riderless horse and Sam sighs, deep and heartfelt. He supposes he might as well camp here for the night.
Dismounting he looks down at Robicheaux, he’s a scrawny white man with a narrow nose, his forehead and cheeks pink and mottled from the desert sun, with an unkept beard and dust ingrained into his greasy hair. He’s not really sure what he expected, the tales told of a man who’d just as soon smile at you as shoot you in the face, silver-tongued like the snake in the garden of Eden. Robicheaux’s mouth is bleeding and there are bruises already rising on his cheek and temple. It’s likely that his ribs are broken.
“You alive down there?” he asks and Robicheaux opens his eyes, startlingly blue and stared up at Sam.
“”In grim array the grisly spectres rise, Grin horrible, and obstinately sullen, Pass and repass, hush’d as foot of night. Again the screech-owl shrieks……””
The eyes focused on Sam slowly and the man smiles at him, a horrible rictus grin made worse by the gaping black hole of a missing tooth, his eyes shining maniacally. “Every night we rise up, and up, we the colorless dead from our graves, the restless sleeper from his pallet. Once more unto the breach, once more…il faut laisser les morts ensevelir les morts…” he says, eyes staring and unseeing. His hand on the ground have two fingers broken, already swelling.
Sam recoiled a little, that was unsettlingly morbid, coming from that grinning skull of a face, before setting up camp and hauling water, refilling his canteens and water his horse. It’s a fine animal, a lovely chestnut brown mare with a white star on his forehead named Comet, not that Sam ever used it, never having the need to call the horse anything. “Hey you” seemed to do just as well. The horse was usually an unperturbed sort of animal but now she was dancing and tossing her head, refusing to stand still and tugging against her picket while Sam set up camp.
He had a fire going and tin of beans nestled in the coals when Robicheaux sat upright, and Sam sighed, of course food would make the man move, but instead of coming closer to the fire Robicheaux crawled over to Comet, half lying by her massive hoofs.
“Hey! Get away from her,” Sam called suspicious, granted he didn’t look like he was in any shape to steal Sam’s horse but Robicheaux is undeterred slowly running a clumsy and shaking hand along her left front leg.
“Hush now, cher,” Sam hears him murmur, a string of soothing nonsense, “we’ll get it sure ‘nuff, so we will, yes, yes..”
“Hey, Robicheaux,” Sam calls again and ambles over, if this crazy man lames Sam’s horse in the middle of ass-end nowhere Sam is going to have to shoot him, and that’s just that.
Robicheaux is rubbing his eyes with a dirty hand when Sam reaches them, his eyes sliding away along the ground but he wordlessly holds out half a Foxtail grass awn to Sam, the sharp barbs could twist and twist into the skin of an animal, causing no end of misery.Its obviously dug out from the sensitive area just above the hoof, Sam himself must have missed it.
“Huh, how on earth did you know that was there?” And Robicheaux looks up, gives him a smile which is nothing more than a nervous grimace.
“Horse told me so,” he says and Sam decides, what the heck, the man can have some beans after all.
Comed adore Robicheaux after that and Sam thought it was typical that a man who kept people as property would be soft-hearted about animals.
They rise at first light and Sam points towards the nearest settlement, not really willing to let Robicheaux ride double with him but also not quite willing to leave him in the dust just yet. He could hear him waking up in the night, murmuring disjointed strings of words. The moon was full and shining on them, sometimes so bright it seemed nearly to be day. His mama always said that sleeping in the moonlight would make you crazy, not that he’s sure there would be a noticeable difference in Robicheaux.
They had been making their way, Sam ahead on Comet, letting the horse walk slow and Robicheaux picking his way behind them, the sky turning a warm pink and the full moon just a faint silver disc low on the horizon when Sam spotted something ahead of them on the trail.
It was a horse, large and grey, almost glowing in the early morning light, with liquid dark eyes and flared nostrils, the white colored mane falling silkily over the broad forehead. It whickered lowly and Sam could feel Comet answer but when he came closer it backed away, tossing its head.
The grass rustled faintly as Robicheaux came up alongside him and walked past with one hand stretched out. The horse backed away a couple of paces before coming closer, slowly nuzzling the outstretched hand, slowly letting Robicheaux stroke its neck and flanks. Sam wasn’t sure if he really believed his eyes when it slowly lowered its head and bent the front legs at Robicheaux’s feet. The man gripped the mane and swung one leg over and the animal got to its feet, docile and tame as a cow. Sam had never believed in magic, or in his mother’s stories about Uncle Jack who trapped the devil himself in his purse, but he had to admit this was the strangest thing he’d ever witnessed with his own two eyes.
“You know horse theft is a hanging offence?”
“Good thing I didn’t steal her then,” Robicheaux answered. “No markings or brands on her. Too big to be a wild mustang and no iron shoes on her hooves.”
“Yes, but..” Sam says, in his, not inconsiderable, experience, horses don’t just turn up because you need them (he’s even sure he heard a fella in a play say something to that effect once).
“We’ll bring her back to - and is she has an owner they’d be right pleased to see her,” Robicheaux says, seemingly untroubled about the prospect of being shot for a horse thief. It is just the first in a long string of odd animal related events as they start travelling together.
#the magnificent seven#sunday six#Delete scenes#with a smile and a song#Sam Chisolm#sam & goodnight#Goodnight is quoting#The Grave#by Robert Blair#which is another tenuously feasible literary reference
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I may have done something exciting but dumb.
I just bought two horses from the Devil's Garden Wild Horse Corral's. Aka mustangs. Do I still need to out more rides on Freyja? Yes. Did I just get two more unhandled horses? Also yes.
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