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faithshouseofchaos · 6 days

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The truth stick— Dad!daniel ricciardo x mom!reader + Lucas and Sadie

Fluff pure fluff

Word count 2k

Kinda based on s3 episode 27 of bluey

Not edited

Daniel is so Bandit wheeler coded and I stand by that

Daniel stood at the kitchen counter making sandwiches for Lucas and Sadie while the two kids sat on the bar stools watching.

“You did!” Lucas yelled

“I didn’t!” Daniel says

“You did” Lucas tells again

“I did not,” Daniel responded, his voice cracking with humor, cutting Lucas’s sandwich in half.

“Did too,” Lucas said loudly.

“Hey what’s going on?” You asked, walking into the kitchen as you just got back home from walking the dog.

“Dad farted in my face!” Lucas yelled pointing at Daniel.

“I did not” Daniel says smiling, handing Lucas his sandwich.

You chuckled watching the situation unfold before your eyes, Daniel's usual playful demeanor never failed to entertain you.

"Daniel, did you really-" you started to ask, but were cut off by Daniel's quick response.

"No, of course not" Daniel says, waving his hand dismissively. "He's exaggerating"

Lucas crossed his arms, looking at you with wide eyes. “Mom! He made me smell his fart!”

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Lucas’ dramatic accusation. You watched Daniel feign surprise and innocence, the corners of his mouth twitching as he held back a smile.

"Is that so?" You asked Lucas, unable to keep a straight face.

Lucas nodded furiously, his expression serious. "It smelled so bad!"

Daniel placed a hand over his heart, looking wounded. "I swear on my life, I did no such thing!"

You chuckled and shook your head, knowing better than to believe Daniel entirely.

"Daniel, are you sure you weren't just... letting one loose near Lucas?" You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face.

Daniel gasped in mock indignation. "Me? Never. My farts smell like roses."

“Nuh uh daddy” Sadie says

Daniel looked at Sadie, acting offended. “You too?” he exclaimed, pretending to be hurt.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at Daniel's exaggerated reactions. He clearly loved playing the part of the dramatic, misunderstood parent.

"So now even my own daughter is turning against me?" Daniel asked, pretending to pout.

“Yes daddy,” Sadie said, her eyes wide with innocence.

Lucas chimed in, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Yeah, we know you did it."

Daniel huffed, still playing along with the farce. “I’m being falsely accused here! Where’s the trust?”

You smiled at the exchange, enjoying this playful banter between your family.

"Well, to be fair, Daniel, you do have a history of... accidentally letting one slip" you said, trying to hold back giggles.

Daniel clutched his chest again, pretending to be offended. "Key word being 'accidentally.' I didn't do it intentionally!”

Lucas, sensing an opportunity to tease his father, chimed in, “How can we believe you, though? You lie a lot.”

Your eyes widened at Lucas’ blunt comment, a mix of surprise and amusement.

Daniel feigned shock, holding a hand over his heart. “I'm hurt. My own children doubting the truth of my words.”

You tried to hide your smile, biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

Sadie, not wanting to be left out, added, “Yeah daddy, you always tell us fibs to get us to laugh.”

Daniel put a hand on his forehead, feigning defeat. “You got me there, kiddo. But I swear, I did not fart on your brother.”

Lucas, now fully invested in the teasing, put on a smug expression. “We don't believe you, though.”

Daniel looked at you, silently pleading for backup. “Can you help me out here?”

You took a deep breath, trying to maintain a serious expression but failing miserably.

“I’m sorry, Daniel. They have a point,” you said, barely suppressing a smile. Daniel’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You too, babe? What do I have to do to prove my innocence?”

Lucas and Sadie looked at each other, both silently agreeing on the next step.

“I know!” Sadie interjected. “What if you promise?”

Daniel looked at his children, then at you, contemplating the offer.

“Fine,” he said, a hint of resignation in his voice. “I promise I didn’t fart on your brother.” Lucas squinted his eyes, studying Daniel's face.

“How do we know you’re not lying right now, though?” he pressed on.

Daniel let out an exasperated sigh, throwing up his hands in surrender. "Seriously, kids? How can I prove to you that I'm being honest?" Daniel asked, now more amused than offended.

You chuckled, enjoying the playful exchange between your family. Lucas thought for a moment, tapping his chin in an exaggerated manner. Then, he suddenly brightened up. “I know how!”

Daniel raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Okay, I’m listening. How can I prove my innocence?”

Lucas leaned in, a smirk on his face. "You have to take the 'Truth Stick' test."

Daniel exchanged an amused glance with you, then turned back to his son.

"And what exactly is the 'Truth Stick' test?" he asked, humoring Lucas' game. Lucas's grin widened as he explained. “It’s pretty simple. If you tell a lie, the truth stick will whack you!”

Daniel chuckled, playing along. “So, it’s a magical stick that detects lies?” Lucas nodded excitedly. “Yep! It’s never wrong.”

Sadie chimed in, just as enthusiastic as her brother. “Yeah! It’s a special magic stick that only works on grownups.” Daniel chuckled, clearly amused by their childish game.

"Alright, I’m game. Go grab the 'Truth Stick'," he said, playing along with their antics.

Lucas and Sadie scurried off, leaving Daniel and you alone in the kitchen. Daniel turned to you, his expression a mix of amusement and defeat.

"I can't believe I'm being humiliated by my own kids," he said with a wry grin. You chuckled, unable to keep a straight face. "Hey, you brought this upon yourself, Daniel. Besides, it's all in good fun."

Just then, Lucas and Sadie returned, brandishing a thin wooden stick like a magical wand. Lucas held the 'Truth Stick' up in front of Daniel, a look of satisfaction on his face.

"Alright, Dad. Are you ready to take the test?" he asked solemnly. Daniel tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t help but smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Lucas and Sadie both looked thrilled, clearly enjoying having their father at their mercy. "Okay, Dad,” Lucas said. “We’re going to ask you some questions, and if you lie, the ‘Truth Stick’ will whack you. Got it?”

Daniel nodded solemnly, trying to maintain a serious expression. Lucas smiled, pleased that Daniel was going along with their game. “Alright, first question. What did you have for lunch today?”

Daniel thought for a moment before answering. “I had a salad and a sandwich.”

Lucas turned to Sadie, who held up the 'Truth Stick', ready to administer justice. However, the stick stayed still. “Looks like you’re telling the truth so far,” Lucas stated, clearly disappointed that Daniel hadn’t been caught yet.

He thought for another moment before asking the next question. “Okay Dad, my next question is… what did you get Mom for her birthday last year?”

Daniel chuckled, seemingly unfazed by the question. "I got your mom a beautiful necklace and some flowers," he said confidently.

Lucas and Sadie looked at each other, then at the 'Truth Stick', waiting with anticipation. When the stick stayed motionless once more, they both let out a huff. "Well, you’re on a roll so far, Dad," Lucas sighed, clearly not expecting such an honest answer to the last question.

He thought for a moment, trying to come up with a more difficult question. "Alright, this might be tricky. Did you fart on me earlier?" Daniel feigned an insulted expression, placing a hand over his heart once more.

"Absolutely not! I would never do such a thing!" he replied, pretending to be deeply hurt by the accusation.

Lucas and Sadie held up the 'Truth Stick', both of them silently hoping it would react to Daniel’s answer. But much to their disappointment, the stick remained still. Lucas sighed, clearly frustrated that the 'Truth Stick' wasn’t catching Daniel in a lie. Sadie too, looked disappointed.

“This isn’t fair,” Lucas grumbled, not happy that their foolproof plan wasn’t working as they had hoped. Daniel chuckled, enjoying the children's growing frustration.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm just a very honest man," he joked, a sly smile playing on his lips. Lucas rolled his eyes, clearly irritated by his father's easygoing attitude. "This stick is broken," he exclaimed.

Sadie spoke up, her voice tinged with irritation. "Yeah, it’s not working right!" Daniel put on a sympathetic look, pretending to agree with them.

"Maybe the 'Truth Stick' is faulty," he said, barely containing his amusement. "It’s not working as intended." Lucas and Sadie looked at each other, both convinced that the 'Truth Stick' wasn't working properly.

"Maybe we should try another question," Lucas suggested, clearly not wanting to give up on outsmarting his father just yet. "Yeah," Sadie echoed. "Let’s ask another question."

Daniel held his hands up in mock surrender. “Bring it on. I’m ready for whatever you throw at me.” Lucas and Sadie conferred for a moment, trying to think of the perfect question to catch Daniel in a lie.

Lucas suddenly brightened up. "Got it!" he yelled excitedly. Daniel's eyebrows raised in anticipation, bracing himself for the next question.

"Alright, hit me with it," he said, feeling confident that he would pass this test too. Lucas smiled mischievously, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with what he believed to be the ultimate question.

He turned to Daniel, grinning widely. "Okay Dad, here it comes. Are you ready?" Daniel chuckled, enjoying the children's determined faces. "As ready as I’ll ever be," he replied, preparing himself for whatever question came next. Lucas looked at Sadie, who nodded in approval, holding up the 'Truth Stick' like a judge wielding a gavel.

"Okay Dad, here it is…" he started, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Did you secretly eat a cookie from the cookie jar this morning, even though you knew we weren’t allowed?"

Daniel's eyes widened, his confident smile faltering for just a split second. He hadn’t expected the children to ask about the cookie incident.

However, he quickly composed himself, trying to keep a casual expression.

"Of course not. Why would you think that?" he responded, his voice slightly higher pitched than usual. Lucas and Sadie looked at each other suspiciously. They had definitely caught a hint of dishonesty in Daniel's response.

Lucas picked up on it too, narrowing his eyes at his father. "Dad, are you sure you're telling the truth?" Daniel swallowed hard, now feeling a bead of sweat forming on his forehead. He tried to maintain his casual demeanor, but his expression gave him away.

"Uh, yeah. I'm positive. No cookies for me this morning," he answered, his voice wavering slightly. Lucas and Sadie exchanged glances once more. They could tell that their father was lying, and they were more excited than ever.

Lucas turned back to Daniel, a sly smile playing on his lips.

"Are you absolutely, positively, 100% sure about that, Dad?" Daniel could feel the tension in the air building, and he knew he was caught. He tried one last attempt to feign innocence, but his nerves betrayed him.

"Uh… yeah… absolutely, positively, 100% sure," he stammered, his voice cracking ever so slightly. Lucas and Sadie were practically bouncing with excitement now. They looked at each other and nodded, both knowing they had him.

Lucas turned back to Daniel, holding up the 'Truth Stick' triumphantly.

"Dad, are you ready for the truth?" he asked, his voice dripping with satisfaction. Daniel felt a mix of defeat and amusement, realizing that his children had outsmarted him. He chuckled and shook his head, clearly impressed by their detective skills.

"Well, I guess there's no point in denying it any longer. Go ahead, bring on the truth," he said with a resigned smile. Lucas smirked and looked at Sadie, who gleefully held up the 'Truth Stick'.

Lucas faced his dad and took a deep breath. "Okay Dad, the 'Truth Stick' will reveal it to us now."

Daniel braced himself, knowing he was doomed.

Lucas looked Daniel straight in the eye and asked with great determination, "Did you or did you not eat a cookie from the cookie jar this morning?" Daniel knew there was no point in lying anymore. The jig was up.

He sighed and slumped his shoulders, a sheepish expression on his face.

"Okay, fine," he admitted. "I ate one cookie. But it was just one, I swear!" Lucas and Sadie both let out victorious cheers, knowing they had finally caught their father in a lie.

Lucas put his hands on his hips, triumphantly declaring, "I knew it!"

Sadie was even more excited, practically jumping up and down. "We got you, Dad!"

“Wait ah minute what’s that smell?” Sadie asked looking at Lucas. Lucas sniffed the air, his eyebrows scrunching up in confusion.

"I don’t know, what is that smell?" he responded, genuinely puzzled.

Daniel chuckled, knowing exactly what was coming next.Sadie frowned and sniffed the air once more, her face contorting in disgust. "Ugh, it smells awful!" she exclaimed.

Lucas nodded in agreement, the horrid scent becoming more apparent to him now.

"Yeah, it smells like something died!" he exclaimed, plugging his nose with his fingers. Sadie and Lucas looked at each other and then let out a squeal “mom dad farted again!” The kids yell running away.

You couldn't help but burst out laughing at the kids' reaction. Daniel, caught off guard, let out a guilty laugh.

"Hey, hold on now," he protested, a mixture of amusement and embarrassment on his face. "That wasn't me!" Lucas and Sadie stopped in their tracks, their eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Then who was it?" Sadie asked, crossing her arms.

Daniel shrugged innocently. "I don't know. Maybe it was the dog?"

But the kids weren't buying it. They both looked at each other again, then back at Daniel, their faces filled with skepticism.

Lucas pointed an accusing finger at Daniel. "It was you, Dad. We know it was you!" Daniel held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. You got me," he admitted, a sheepish grin on his face. "It was me. I farted." Lucas and Sadie wrinkled their noses in disgust, both of them making dramatic gagging noises.

"Ew, that's gross!" Sadie said, fanning the air around her.

Lucas put his hand over his mouth, pretending to be nauseous. "Ugh, Dad. Your farts stink." Daniel chuckled, clearly enjoying the kids' exaggerated reactions.

"Hey, hey now. Cut me some slack. I'm only human. Everyone farts," he defended, still grinning from ear to ear.

Tagged — @ashy-kit @astraeaworld @67-angelofthelordme-67 @alwayzbeenale @amatswimming @a-casual-romantic @anedpev @bblouifford @bbtoni @barcelonaloverf1life @badassturtle13 @charlesf1leclerc @dark-night-sky-99 @dudenhaaa27 @crashingwavesofeuphoria @clowngirlsstuff @eugene-emt-roe @embrosegraves @entr4p3 @formulas-bitch @formulaal @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @thef1diary @llando4norris @hangmandruigandmav @hollie911 @ironcowboycopnickel @jeffs77 @kimiracing07 @lollypop90907 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @lightdragonrayne @moss-on-tmblr @omgsuperstarg @oconswrld @otako5811 @purplephantomwolf @sweate-r-weathe-r @swifth0lic @starkwlkr @strugglingyetvibing @toasttt11 @the-ghost-lovwr @tallrock35 @uluvjay @vellicora @venusisnothere @danielshouseofwhores @raikkxz

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ghouljams · 16 days

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I wanna do my own writing challenge but I am also a jokester and a buffoon, so...

Ghoul's "King Killer" Challenge (inspired by @391780 and @glitterypirateduck)

I want to see people kill König in absolutely insane and convoluted ways. I'm gonna be honest this is for the König lovers as much as the haters, you cannot tell me you love a character if you're not willing to explode them in your mind just a little bit.

Rules:

Please be 18+ to participate and tag me @ghouljams in your post. I'll put all posts onto a master list. Please tag your fics appropriately, and please no suicide or rape, these are meant to be comedic deaths.

This can be angst fic or this can be a background death in a different character fic, I just want that man dead. And most importantly I want it to be in an incredibly convoluted and stupid way. I'm providing what I call "dumb ways to die" prompts but honestly if the spirit moves you or you have an idea fucking go for it.

There's no real time limit on this but I'll give y'all June 16-23 as the golden zone.

"I want that man dead"

The second known case of spontaneous human combustion

Death rolled by an alligator

Eaten by hampsters

Fell out of bed too hard

Someone stuck their finger in his gun and it exploded looney toons style

His phone battery exploded while he was calling someone

Bit by a rabid animal

Turned into goo

Hit by a t-shirt canon

Tried to pet a bear

Testing a stab proof jacket gone wrong

Attempted to drive a fork lift

Tried to outrun a train

Attempted to rescue a chicken from a well

Tried to disassemble a grenade

Insisted he could literally walk on water(couldn't)

Snake coiled around his shotgun and ended up pulling the trigger

Attempted to demonstrate "unbreakable" glass

Tripped and fell into concrete

Shook a soda can too hard and it exploded

Fell out of a roller coaster seat

Ate a peach pit and got cyanide poisoning

Vicious mockery but in real life

Ate expired food

Tried to climb an electric fence

Smoking near blasting powder

Hit by a meteor

Attempted electrical work himself

Anal gone wrong

Anal gone right

Osha violation

Was watching the eclipse while driving

Sat too long in a sauna

Fell down stairs

Choked on own spit

Lawn chair balloon flight into controlled air space

Circus performance gone wrong

Attempted karate

Easily preventable causes

Flying hammer

"Be quiet silica gell packet, can't you see I'm starving?"

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing"

"You're not going to shoot me, you would've done it already"

"I saw someone do this in a movie once"

A legless lizard crawled somewhere it wasn't supposed to

Spiders

That evil bunny from Monty Python

Driving with both feet

Fell in a wood chipper

Attempted sword swallowing

So so bad at blowjobs

Overheated

The hubris of men

Too many pillows on his bed

Met a cryptid

Weather related accident

Walked into a pole

Falling piano

Siphoning gas

Bee sting

Mosh pit accident

Not wearing a helmet

Not watching where he's going

Fell in a hole

"Looks safe enough"

Antagonizing the crows

Ghosts

Cow tipping gone wrong

"No little german boy don't go in that cave"

Microwaving something

Rube Goldberg Machine

Dinosaurs

Time Machine

Shrink Ray

Building falls on just him

Dog farts (those things are deadly)

Crafting gone wrong

Jumanji

Cuteness Aggression (The cute thing is aggressive)

Vampire

Werewolf

Ink poisoning

A dog wags too hard and hits him with their tail

Slipped on a banana peel

Choking on a life saver candy

Electric car explodes

If none of these strike your fancy feel free to come up with your own convoluted and silly death for the man we all love (or love to hate)

#ghoul speaks #cod writing challenge #writing challenge #konig #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #könig cod #könig call of duty

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thegnomelord · 3 months

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Ahh I love the food thing that you got asked <3 food can have such a special place in our lives it's so precious

Ya think Hound develop concerning eating habits due to Makarov? Due to the whole stressful situation

I just want someone in the 141 to cook him a meal, filled with love and care, maybe Hound is in the kitchen watching them cook it for his own security.

I just want him to have a nice meal 😔

-🐙

I do feel like Hound would have some food hoarding habits or just distrust about eating something he didn't make himself. It wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten drugged through food...

But the 141 making food communally would be a fun idea lol so here's a quick brain fart :D :

You feel out of place. Well, you're always out of place, but you feel especially out of place sitting at the table while Soap and and Gaz busy themselves by the stove, Price humming to himself to the side as he gets the mugs to make tea. Ghost sits next to you grumbling under his breath, both of you in 'time-out' — you hadn't done anything (save for not being trusted around anything sharp), it's Ghost that had gone and microwaved beans in the can. Now Johnny swears up and down the microwave is possessed.

Your eyes flicker between Soap and Gaz, watching them cook you don't even know what. The only British 'cuisine' you know of is the cremated steaks Price would sometimes make you before. . . that. But nothing the two are making smells nearly as bad as the charred hockey pucks Price would feed you and Simon.

"Hey!" Your brought out of your thoughts in time to see Kyle swat away Price's hand with his spatula. "Don't you dare cap! I'm not about to get rained on because of your bad cooking." You hadn't considered Gaz could take charge, too soft in your eyes, but you're surprised by how tight of a ship he runs when he's by the stove.

"Alright, alright." Price huffs while Ghost lets out an amused huff. He's not quite laughing, but you can see the subtle tremor of his shoulders in silent laughter.

That gets Soap to point a spoon in Ghost's direction. "Oh yer one te fockin' giggle. Mr. 'ah cursed the damn microwave with me beans'."

"Sod off." Simon grunts, but there's no edge to his words. Soap tuts, but soon enough starts off rambling about something you're not quite able to follow along to when your eyes once again focus on where their arms are, how they move, paying especially close attention any time they rest them by their sides (even though realistically you doubt they'd try to drug the same food they'd eat).

You still tense when you feel Price's hand on your back, only now noticing that you'd started hunching your back, your shoulders raised closer to your ears. "You're alright, straighten your spine, sweetheart." His voice is calm, his hand warm as he applies gentle pressure on your back until you straighten back out. "There you go, good man." He rumbles, hand going up to ruffle your hair before he pulls away before his touch can turn into stinging pain to your skin.

You blink as a plate full of food is placed in front of you. The food smells good and doesn't look like it had been cremated, made with care you don't deserve. "I. . ." You don't know why but your throat feels clogged, like someone had poured hot tar into your mouth and forced you to swallow, the collar around your throat constricting your breathing even more.

Simon's shoulder bumps into yours, "If you don't eat that I will." The childish threat makes you breathe out a small laugh.

"Aye, the bastard's like Henry the hoover, he'll eat anything." Soap supplies as he sits down opposite of you with his own plate. Though you get the impression he's talking about himself when he stabs a sausage with a fork and almost inhales the entire thing.

"Mhm," You grunt, taking the fork. "I don't doubt it." You stab a piece of black pudding. It tastes earthy, but the small coppery tang of blood sizzles down your nerves, but fuck it tastes good.

"Look at that, is it good?" Kyle chuckles as he watches your facial features shift as you swallow the food, his own face that of pride like he already knows your answer, but you nod your head all the same.

#gnome correspondence #🐙anon #x reader #cod mw2 #male reader #trinkets from the hoard #captain john price #good dog fic #Hound-reader #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #captain john price x male reader #kyle gaz garrick x male reader #this was pretty quick and I intend to do an extended version of this when i finally get around to writing the next chapter of Good Dog

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miss-dollette · 7 months

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I was thinking in random hcs? Maybe your thoughts about the character? something general? Nothing like nsfw stuff, 'cause it’s all what this fandom have lol

Sure, how 'bout some relationship headcanons! And some character headcanons. Basically, what I believe he would be like in a relationship. At least, the more positive side of being with him. He's a goofy guy, and people take him wayyy too seriously.

Eats food like he's in a competitive eating contest. Consumes enough to feed a small village—your grocery bill might just fund a lunar mission. Don't throw a fit, though; Mr. Riley's mission is to ensure your wallet stays plump at all times. He's a provider through and through.

Transforms into a human fortress at the mere hint of trouble. If someone dares hurt you, Mr. Riley becomes Mr. Ghost in the fraction of a second. And trust me, taking a hit from him is like receiving a love tap from a freight train, minus the love.

Navigates family gatherings like a penguin on roller skates. His military background remains a classified mystery, and his family tales are as fictional as a unicorn on vacation. American relatives? They're convinced he's the next NFL sensation, begging him to join their backyard football league. Spoiler alert: he's more of a brick wall than wide receiver.

Master of the unexpected headlock, coupled with a smirk that screams, "You wouldn't be able to get outta this if you tried your best." Yes, he's a bit of an asshole, but he's your asshole.

Enormous nerd alert. Chuckles at his own jokes. No, he's not ashamed of that.

His humor is on a level of sophistication that revolves around fart and poop jokes. He's not afraid to assert his dominance with a fart, maintaining eye contact for that extra level of charm. Try throwing a pillow his way, and he'll throw it back with the force of a thousand sun's (may have broken your glasses once).

He's British—like, sipping-tea-in-the-rain-with-the-Queen British. The epitome of Brit-ness in a world filled with brits. Probably has a secret stash of crumpets somewhere.

Experienced a growth spurt at eleven that defied the laws of gravity. Shot up from 5'1" to a towering 6'4" by the time he graduated.

His taste buds are stuck in the bland era. Thinks anything spicier than salt is equivalent to summoning fire-breathing dragons. Pepper in his food? Cue him giving you vicious side eye. Introduce any other spice, and he'll act like you're conducting a culinary assassination. Consider yourself warned—he takes his seasoning very seriously. But he'll still eat your food, with a side of milk, of course.

Love Language: Fluent in acts of service and physical touch. To unlock level 10, you'll need a lot of patience, kindness, and understanding. Once you get there, anything you request, he'll do—no complaints, just a casual acceptance of his fate, like a loyal sidekick in a superhero movie.

His commitment is so strong; he'd probably agree to build a rocket to the moon if you asked. He'd do whatever it takes to make sure you get what you want.

Always keeping a hand on the nape of your neck in crowds—part protective gesture, part GPS system. It's his way of ensuring you don't accidentally take yourself off a cliff.

I have so many more ideas.

#cod mw2 #mw2 x reader #mw2 #cod mw3 #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #cod ghost #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #mw2 headcanons

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kwinnieppang · 3 months

Text

𝐈 𝐁𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 || Kim Da-yeon x Fem!Reader

I Bet You Are So Soaked || Kim Da-yeon (Pyramid Game)

Starring : Kim Da-yeon (Pyramid Game) x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : You and Dayeon have been friends for a long time. You are Dayeon's most comfortable place, you could say that your relationship with Dayeon is more than just friends. Even though you're both women, the way Dayeon treats you is like a man. Pyramid Game is not an obstacle for Dayeon not to be with you. Only you can make Dayeon feel calm.

Warning : Fluff, Lesbian, NonVirgin! Reader, PWP, Smut (Oral!Reader receiving, Overstimulation!Reader, Pussydrunk!Dayeon, Dub-con ⟶ Con, Degrading), Typographical Error

Author's note: I'm not normalising the things that happen here in the real world, this is all just for stories and not for the real world! Stay safe for you all out there and I'm sorry if this story is triggering you!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

You and Dayeon have been friends since childhood. You already know each other very well. Your parents also know each other. Dayeon's arrogant and stubborn nature has become your daily bread. You also can't deny that your family is slightly below the Dayeon family.

Wherever you go, Dayeon will always follow you.

You could say that you are a little bored with Dayeon. But, what else can I do?

Dayeon is the friend you can trust the most.

"How? You do still feel the pain?" You asked casually.

“Well…” Dayeon winced slightly in pain as you treated her.

Dayeon grew up in an abusive family.

All problems are solved by venting using violence, especially on Dayeon.

"I told you, don't do anything." You're nagging.

“I've been trying not to fight, ___. But, that old fart is the only one who is sensitive.” Dayeon grumbled.

You didn't respond, you just focused on treating Dayeon.

"Haha… ___."

You started to become suspicious of Dayeon's behaviour.

"What?" You stopped for a moment to look at Dayeon.

Dayeon brought her face closer to you.

“Want to drink wine with me?” Dayeon asked with a soft intonation.

"I don't like-"

"You have to try it, ___. If you don’t try it, how will you know if you don’t like it…?” Dayeon moved her index finger from ___'s chest towards ___'s stomach.

You could feel her amusement, you held Dayeon's hand.

“You are out of your mind.”

Dayeon pouted for a moment.

“Then… If you refuse…”

Dayeon grinned.

"I can drink your juice, right?" Dayeon asked with a grin.

You can't refuse Dayeon's request. Just say that you're afraid Dayeon is threatening you with terrible things. You know that in fact, Dayeon could go berserk at any time. You don't dare to fight Dayeon, you don't understand Dayeon very deeply. You don't feel like living with a family of bastards.

You took off your pants and underwear.

When you leaned against the edge of the bed, Dayeon positioned her head between your legs. Dayeon immediately grabbed both of your inner thighs and opened them wide. Dayeon licks your clit, playing around there. Makes you sigh and feel uncomfortable. Your body squirmed and shivered, you could feel your nipples harden under your shirt.

“Dayeon… Ahh… Don't play there…” You clenched your fists.

The cold floor of the room makes you even more carried away by the atmosphere.

“Uhm… I want you so wet…” Dayeon was still licking her clit.

“Haa… Ahh…!” Your body convulses.

Dayeon stopped.

Followed immediately by pulling your hips and sucking your already wet vagina.

“Ahh~! Uhm… No…” You covered your own mouth again.

You just remembered, there is someone else in your house.

“Ahh… Dayeon…” You moaned her name.

Dayeon keeps licking and sucking your pussy.

“Hmm… Ahh…”

Dayeon's tongue started to poke at your hole. Your clear liquid is getting more and more and it's all being sucked up by Dayeon. Until finally, you reach the point of enjoyment. You orgasmed and Dayeon stopped. Dayeon saw you trying to neutralise yourself.

Dayeon was very happy.

“I really like you.” Dayeon moved closer to you.

Dayeon hugged you and buried her face in your shoulder.

“Dayeon…”

“I wish I were a boy.” Dayeon whispered.

“Huh?”

“I want to make you mine, I… Like you.”

You were quite touched to hear her words, but you thought again.

‘I like you better if you are who you are now.’

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

In the end, you both entered as students of Baekyeon Girls High School. At first you thought that you would separate classes, but it turned out you didn't and you were still in the same class as Dayeon. The two of you are in class 2-5, a class that can be said to be special. Luckily, Dayeon is starting to get away from you. Dayeon made some new friends, and so did you.

“___, I have the latest information.” Dayeon sat next to you.

“Huh?” You're clearly confused.

“Do you like caste games? Me, Harin, and Doah will make a game about caste.” Dayeon smiled proudly.

“Ah, if it's just a game—”

"Listen first~ If you are in the highest position, you are free to do whatever you want! But, if you are at the bottom, you will be—”

“Bully?” You reply curtly.

Dayeon nodded, she didn't seem to understand the situation yet.

"How? Cool, right?" Dayeon smiled casually.

“It’s not cool, really.�� You don't agree with Dayeon.

“Hey, if you're angry… You can take it out on the lowest ranked person…”

“That's not cool.”

Dayeon put her arm around you and poking your cheek.

“Hey, don't be like that... Ah, what's your opinion anyway? Not used either."

You were a little annoyed with Dayeon's behaviour, so you pushed Dayeon's hand away.

“That's enough for me. Whatever happens, I will follow the flow. If it really comes to that and i can't stand it... I'll leave."

“But, you will tell—”

"Don't interfere." You replied coldly.

This was the first time you were cold to Dayeon.

“___…? You… are just annoyed, right?” Dayeon asked doubtfully.

You ignored Dayeon and walked out of the classroom.

Now, you have other friends besides Dayeon. Lim Yerim and Sim Eunjung are your new friends. The differences in character and way of speaking between the two of them are very significant. Yerim tends to be friendly and sweet, while Eunjung tends to be cold and quiet. But, you think it's okay, humans are unique.

The Pyramid Game is still being implemented.

Although, you don't know whether the people around you agree to play the game or not.

You wonder why Dayeon can always be in A with Dayeon's new friends. You also felt a change in Dayeon's attitude. You thought maybe it was the Pyramid Game that put you in position C. Dayeon's attitude towards you also changed, she became more indifferent and arrogant. You don't care, you think it's normal.

"Isn't her family a bit unique?" You mumbled, talking or mocking Dayeon's family.

"___, What is it?" Yerim asked.

"I feel like burning down the house... But, I know... I can't do it." You wore a gloomy expression.

“On what basis do you want to burn down the house?” Eunjung asked.

You put your head on the table.

“Ahh~ I don't have any enthusiasm today…” You grumbled to yourself.

"Maybe she needs some time alone." Yerim said to Eunjung.

"Yeah, but there's no need to burn down the house." Eunjung replied.

“Why are you focused on burning down the house? ___ is just frustrated and just talking nonsense." Yerim said.

The day goes on, the game continues. But, you were never at grade F. Luckily, Eunjung and Yerim loyally chose you. For others, you don't know who chose you. At least, you're not in F and that makes you feel safe. Your ranking always goes up and down, B and C.

“Who voted for me…?” You always mumble like that after the game is over.

You've talked about this to Yerim and Eunjung.

“It would be good if you could equal B.” Yerim said.

“But, I was—”

“Ah— No, no!” Yerim shook her head while telling you to be quiet.

"What?"

“You survived F, for me that's enough. You get more votes, for me that's very good!” Yerim gave both thumbs up with a smile.

You looked at your cellphone which was vibrating because someone was calling.

"Who's that? Hm?” Yerim was curious.

You immediately refuse and your smartphone screen display returns to normal.

“No, no one.” You smiled back at Yerim.

You also started to reject calls from Dayeon.

A revenge would be nice, isn't it?

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“Why do you rarely answer my calls? Am I no longer important? Your behaviour has changed, ___.” Dayeon scolded.

You were talking to Dayeon on your cell phone.

“Stop it, Dayeon.” You reply wearily.

“Stop? Huh! Very funny. You don't like me? You don't care about me anymore, right? Yerim and Eunjung made you forget about me. Am I-"

“Don't try to hurt them, Dayeon-ah.” Your tone is very harsh.

"What's that?" Dayeon held back her laughter.

“You are the one who has changed. If you really want to remain friends with me, come to me. But, in fact it's not. You're noisy, I'll just turn it off.”

"Yah, ___! It is you-"

You end the one-sided conversation, you've had enough.

You think that this way, Dayeon won't bother you.

But, you are wrong.

Dayeon was already in front of your house and asked to come in. Of course, you forbid it. But, Dayeon wouldn't be if she wasn't stubborn. On the other hand, you are afraid that Dayeon will report strange things to her family and destroy your family. Reluctantly, you let Dayeon into your house.

"Very funny... In the past, you were very happy when I was around. Now, you are rejecting me.” Dayeon grinned.

“I am a typical person who is always changing. Whatever it is, my thoughts will always change from time to time. Including… People who are accepted and those who are not.” You explained flatly.

“Hm, that's exciting… Look at you, trying hard to look like me. Oh, are you maybe inspired by Doah?” Dayeon brought her face closer to you.

You just kept quiet while looking at her flatly.

“Then will Yerim and Eunjung be thrown away and I will be accepted back?” Dayeon asked with her confident nature.

"Who knows…"

Dayeon grinned.

"But, it could be that you will really be thrown away by me later." You continued.

Dayeon didn't accept the answer, she pushed until you were pinned against the wall.

“What did you say just now? Repeat."

“I'm not afraid of you, Dayeon. I'm just afraid for your family.”

“I could ruin your life right now.” Dayeon replied arrogantly.

“You are nothing but a schoolgirl—”

"Well-!"

“Self-awareness is important, Dayeon.”

Dayeon threw you to the floor and you collapsed.

“My dear dog seems to be getting cocky. I have to give her training.” Dayeon grinned.

The dog is you.

You just gave Dayeon the middle finger.

Without further ado, Dayeon removed your lower clothing. Dayeon also misses your juice. Your legs were spread wide and Dayeon's head was between them. Her tongue licks your wet pussy mercilessly. Makes your body limp and sensitive.

“Ahh~! Stop it! Haa…~!”

You grabbed Dayeon's hair.

Dayeon squeezed your thighs even more and pushed in opposite directions.

“Ahhh~! No, I don't want to be with you anymore..."

Inevitably, you orgasm.

But, Dayeon still wanted more.

"You said you didn't want to be with me anymore. But, in reality you are still wet with me."

You felt annoyed and grabbed Dayeon.

“You think it's funny? You are playing with my feelings!”

“Playing with what?”

“You think all that is funny? You walked away from me and ignored me. You only come if you need it! Oh, damn!” You cursed at Dayeon.

You pushed Dayeon away and put your clothes back on properly.

You intended to leave Dayeon, but she held you back.

"Wait a moment, ___!" Dayeon grabbed your wrist.

"What?"

"You are jealous?"

You are silent.

'Should I be honest or not? Will this be detrimental for me or not?’ You think.

“Yes, indeed I am jealous! Your crazy family is stressing you out and I should be your comfort place. But, you just go and have fun with the people who are in Grade F! Once you have friends who are the same frequency, you forget about me. Don't you remember anything we did together? You're crazy, Dayeon!”

"What?"

"If you really want to end our friendship, then just end it! But, don't ever look for me again!” You tried to let go of Dayeon's wrist.

"Yah!" Dayeon held you tighter.

"If you dare leave me, I will tell my father that you are a bastard."

You glared at Dayeon.

Dayeon hugs you tightly and smirks.

“Is it unclear? You are mine. Whatever it is, you are still mine. No one can take you from me.” She whispered.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Since that incident, your relationship with Dayeon has become more intense. It's quite a question, but you can answer it and give logical reasons. Especially with Yerim and Eunjung, you played a little fact with them. Your friendship with Yerim and Eunjung is still running smoothly. Now, you have to divide your time to be with your friends and for Dayeon.

Like now, you and Dayeon went to the warehouse during an empty hour or self study hour.

“Mmhhh…” You let your mouth be explored by Dayeon's tongue.

Dayeon's fingers also groped your womanhood.

“Ahh… Really, is this okay…?” You asked.

"Don't worry, it's free time."

Dayeon had an idea, she lay down on the floor.

"What are you doing…?" You asked in confusion, an innocent look.

“Take off your panties and sit on my face.”

You obeyed Dayeon and you sat on her face. You can feel Dayeon's tongue playing on your pussy. You could feel your clitoris being attacked by her tongue. Your hole is poked by Dayeon's tongue. Really, Dayeon's tongue makes you almost crazy.

“Ahh~! Your tongue… Ahh… Hmm… Dayeon… I'm going to cum…” You orgasm.

Dayeon grinned, he still continued licking your juice.

"Haa... Shh... What if the teacher knows...?"

"Just tell me the truth.

"Mmhh... What about your papa...?"

Dayeon stopped licking for a moment.

"Does he care about me?" Dayeon continued licking you.

“Ahh… It's okay, Dayeon… You… Nghh… Ahhh… Slow down…” You grabbed Dayeon's hair.

“Uhm…” Dayeon slurped up your juices that kept coming out.

“Let… Ahh~! I'm talking…! Ahh…”

Dayeon doesn't let you talk by continuing to attack your womanhood using her tongue.

“Ahhh~! Uhm… Dayeon… Enough…” You grabbed Dayeon's hair more roughly.

Dayeon ignores what you want. Dayeon instead grabbed and pulled your waist to keep sitting on her. Basically, Dayeon is addicted to you. Dayeon thinks it's okay, Dayeon thinks you need it. At least, your lust is also channelled.

You like it, right?”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The End

#pyramid game #pyramid game x reader #x reader #pyramidgamexreader #kimdayeon #kim dayeon #kim dayeon x reader #dayeon x reader #kdrama x reader #smut #pyramidgamefanfic #fanfic #피라미드 게임

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livwritesfics · 9 months

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𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

❁ Firstly what I mean by innocent is like: childlike, naïve, trusting.

❁ I feel like if Law dated an innocent girl, he would DIE of complete cuteness overload

❁ Extra points if she is short. She just looks up at him and smiles like in the gif. Law would blush all over and brain fart

❁ Or like if you took Law's sweater and put it on it would swallow said short innocent reader up and he would just... He would pretend he doesn't like it while being a stuttering blushing mess. But secretly he LOVES IT.

❁ "Do you wanna see my stuffed animal collection?" Law would say yes to anything you say. He's fallen for you so much that he's a mess. You have him tied around your fingers.

❁ He would think it's cute how you talk to your stuffed animals

❁ Or how you would insist on holding his hand while walking

❁ Honestly anything you say or do will make him melt on the spot. Because he has a soft spot for cute people/things.

❁ Don't look in the eyes don't look in the eyes don't look in the eyes, he tells himself whenever you ask him something. He ends up doing whatever you want.

❁ So he could end up braiding your hair or giving you all of his hoodies and always getting things off of the top shelves.

❁ But you won't take advantage of him because you love him and he loves you and the both of you would do anything for each other.

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anxious-lee · 25 days

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Nothing To Prove || Gravity Falls Tickle Fic ||

A/N: there's a lot of buildup at the start but THIS IS A TICKLE FIC I SWEAR! more than anything though, I'm writing this for the sake of developing characters. This is familial love so if I see any i*cest, I am blocking you on sight

Summary: When Ford comes to realize how much Dipper looks up to him, he seeks out a way to show his young nephew that there's no need to be intimidated by him.

Word count: 2,454

----

Dipper

Life just got a whole galaxy bigger.

Dipper thought he knew what his life would become when he found that old dusty book in the forest; he'd pursue adventure, get into danger, fight monsters.

But meeting his number one hero? And then finding out that he's related?

Not a chance.

It'd been a year since Dipper and his sister left Gravity Falls. They had lots of time that school year to ruminate on everything they had been through together. In the span of three months, their whole universe had turned inside out.

They had another uncle. Someone else to look out for and protect them. Mabel, as she is with all news of this sort, was over the moon. Dipper, however, wasn't as content. It wasn't that he didn't like Great Uncle Ford. Far from it. He loved him unconditionally. He worshipped the ground he walked on. He would fight a thousand beasts to earn his mentor's pride. And that was the problem.

Dipper had spent so long dreaming of the author as this distant hero; an intellectual mastermind that surpassed all around him. He dreamt of meeting him, yes. Bombarding him with questions, absolutely. But now the man was part of his family. The same family that he cracked stupid fart jokes and goofed around with.

Dipper wasn't prepared to have someone so important to him in his life on a permanent basis. He couldn't help but feel a little small around Ford, like every move he made was a chance to embarrass himself in front of his idol.

After his first summer in Gravity Falls ended, Dipper hoped that his overwhelming sense of awe would pass with the time, and he would grow more comfortable around this new addition to the family. But the moment he stepped off of that bus and saw his great-uncle there to greet him, he knew it wouldn't be quite that easy.

He volunteered for as many of Ford's experiments as he could. He offered as much help as he could provide. When faced with an obstacle, Dipper made sure to prove to his uncle that he was smart and tough beyond his years. This, as one might expect, is a difficult and exhausting image to maintain. Being "the perfect, mature man of science" was hard when you were a young, hormonal teenage boy. But that wasn't going to stop Dipper.

When Ford had asked if him if he wanted to help engineer a stronger form of glass that could withstand abnormally high temperatures, he nearly fell over with excitement. He was going to be the best lab assistant Ford could ask for.

It seemed, however, that he couldn't get that right after all, because when bringing over the regular glass jar for experimentation, it slipped through his fingers and shattered.

Dipper was mortified. Not only had he broken the constant variable in their experiment, but possibly also the trust Ford placed in him to be a responsible assistant. How could he have been so careless? Was their experiment ruined now? Did Ford think he wasn't taking this seriously?

"Oh my gosh! Oh my- I- I'm so sorry, Great Uncle Ford! I don't know what happened. I thought I had it" Dipper rambled, throat tightening.

"Aw shoot," Ford cursed under his breath, "It's okay, Dipper, it happens. Here, why don't you go fetch me a new jar from the back shelves while I sweep up this mess?"

"Act- Actually you know what, I think you might actually have an easier time doing this if I wasn't here. I- I don't want to get in your way. " Dipper shuffled back towards the door.

"But I thought you wanted to-" Ford turned to his nephew only to find that he was already gone.

---

Ford

It was unusual, and not the kind that Ford enjoyed. The puzzling kind of unusual.

The conclusion did not follow the variables. Variable one: Ford was conducting an experiment. Variable two: Ford asked Dipper for assistance. Variable three: Dipper was eager to help. Conclusion: Dipper had panicked and ran off. It just wasn't right. Something was off balance.

Now, in a technical situation, Ford could figure out the root cause himself. He had well over thirty years of practice doing so. But this was a human being. Moreso, this was his great nephew, and he wasn't so skilled in the people area. He needed to outsource this predicament with someone who knew Dipper longer than he had. Someone he could trust to tell him what he was doing wrong.

That someone in particular was tucking away a large medieval flail in the cupboards of the sitting room when Ford found him. What it was for, Ford thought it better not to ask.

"Stanley, can I talk to you about something?" He said.

"I didn't know it was a bear, honest!" Stan yelled.

"What?"

"Uhh, nothing. What's on your mind?"

"I have the strangest feeling that Dipper is more anxious than normal. He ran out of my lab this morning looking like he'd seen a ghost, which I have ruled out as a possibility because the air did not smell at all of sulfur. Anyway, the point is, I think something's wrong with him. You've known him far longer than I have. I thought maybe you would have better insight into these things" Ford explained.

Stan stood silently for a moment.

"Stan?"

"Oh sorry I was just enjoying the moment you finally came to me for advice"

"Stanley."

His brother quirked an eyebrow at him. "You don't gotta be a genius to figure this one out, Poindexter. The kid's afraid of looking bad in front of ya."

Ford was stunned into silence. This was a new feeling. An new, terribly odd feeling.

"What?"

"Come on, you've got to have noticed by now. He looks to you like you're a god. He practically worships the ground you walk on. You were like his hero before you'd even met him. You think he's not gonna feel some pressure to live up to your standard? He just wants you to be proud of him."

"I love him! He's my brother's grandson! And of course I'm proud of him. He's very remarkable for his age" Ford said.

"Then why don't you tell him that once in a while."

Ford lost himself in thought.

"Well, time to get back to restocking my weapons. Good luck with your family tension. I'll call you for dinner," Stan sauntered away, seemingly unbothered by the problem, "Prepping for battle, do do do..."

Once again, Ford was left alone to think.

---

This wasn't the first time that Ford had heard someone tell him that he had a standoff-ish impression on people, but he never thought it would impact his kin. Someone he treasured so greatly. Now that he knew how Dipper was feeling, he couldn't waltz around and act like he didn't know. Something had to be done. The only issue was, he didn't know what.

Ford waited a couple days before asking Dipper to rejoin his experiments, knowing that the boy probably wouldn't be willing to assist him just yet after what happened. To his relief, Dipper agreed.

It was still painful to know that his nephew was intimidated by him, but it felt nice just to have him by his side again being his seemingly normal self.

The day went without a hitch this time. In fact, things went quicker than expected and they finished early. It was as they were readying themselves to leave when Ford spoke.

"Thank you for your help today, Dipper. I've been having trouble operating all of this machinery by myself lately. Must have thrown out my back or something."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Dipper replied, "Muscles get tighter with age, so I'm sure it's normal."

Ford turned to look down at his nephew. "Are you calling me old?"

The boy paled. "Wh- I- Uh- I- I wasn't-"

"I'm afraid I have no choice but to punish you for your disrespect" the scientist said darkly.

Before Dipper could have time to overthink that threat, Ford pulled the boy into his arms, sat himself on the ground and started tickling his belly.

The first few seconds were filled with frantic babbling; jumbled syllables trying to make themselves into a coherent sentence. Ford wasn't hearing a "stop", so he didn't.

Dipper giggled hysterically. His face had instantly screwed itself up tight and was looking for a way to bury itself into some hiding place. "GREATUNCLEFORHOHORD! WHAT ARE YOU DOHOHOHOING?!"

"Tickling you, of course! I thought that was obvious," Ford answered with cheer, all pretend-seriousness gone. He chuckled. "I guess you inherited more from me than I thought."

Dipper couldn't seem to figure out what to do with his hands, until he settled on hiding his face with them.

"Aw, don't be shy, son. I'm not the author today. Today, I'm just your uncle," Ford then added with a growl, "Your uncle: the tickle monster!"

The boy's arms fell from his face, settling down on his lap like little t-rex arms. He seemed to have surrendered to the silliness of it and didn't bother to fight.

Wonderful, Ford thought, that means he trusts me!

As Ford moved from belly to sides to ribs, Dipper's laughter went up and down like a rollercoaster, his child-like smile never leaving his face. "IHIHIHI'M SORRYHIHIHI!"

"Nuh uh, kid. "Sorry"'s not gonna cut it," Ford said playfully. He was surprised how good he was at this. He didn't have much experience with playing with children, and he had thought his decades of interdimensional travel would've hardened him to such silliness. Thank the gods that it hadn't.

As Ford's hand started to travel up to the boy's underarm, the boy shrieked and suddenly found the will to fight.

"EHEHEHEK! NONONONONO!"

Ford couldn't help himself laughing at his adorable little ward. "Ticklish there, huh?"

"YEHEHES" Dipper cried.

"Okay, okay, I'll make you a deal. You take back what you said about me being old, and I'll stop tickling you."

Ford had expected the kid to be worn out by now. He thought it was only fair to offer him an out. To his surprise, he didn't take it.

Dipper seemed to think it over for a second, then shook his head with an extra giggle, one that was not from the tickling.

This kid is going to be the death of me, Ford thought, not a hint of regret in his mind.

"Okay, if you say so," the man said playfully, and dug all six fingers into the boy's hollows.

A shriek, and then more rambling, and then loud laughter.

Dipper, despite being tickled within an inch of his life, looked happier than Ford had ever seen him. If this was a dream, Ford did not want to wake up.

"I've got some questions for you, Dipper. Smile for yes and laugh for no, ya got it?"

All he could do was laugh.

"Okay, are you smart?"

Dipper sunk his chin in to his chest.

"Dipper, this won't work if you say yes and no" Ford remarked with fake incredulousness, "Okay, hmmmm... are you brave?"

The teen began to snicker.

"I don't think you understand the rules of this game," Ford said, which only made Dipper laugh harder.

"Alright, alright, last one. Are you ticklish?"

Dipper let out a snort at that infernal question.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ford smiled smugly.

After several more minutes of goofing around, Dipper finally had enough.

"OKAYHYHYHY OKAYHYHY! I TAKE IT BAHAHACK!"

"Good lad." And with that, Ford released his victim.

Dipper wrapped his arms around himself and giggled till there were no more laughs left in him.

"You okay, son? I didn't go too crazy, did I?"

"No no, I'm fihihine. Mabel's put me through much worhorse."

"I can believe that. She got that from your uncle Stanley, you know."

After having regained his breath, Dipper got up from his uncle's lap. "So... are you really not mad about the jar I broke the other day?"

"Oh, Dipper, of course I'm not. You should see the things I've broken down here. You'd be shocked."

"But when you make a mistake, it's different." Dipper recoiled. Apparently, he didn't mean to let that slip.

"What do you mean?"

Dipper's timidness was returning, and Ford almost regretted even asking.

"It's just... you've done so many great things and are so perfect the rest of the time that the mistakes you make don't count as much."

That was some seriously flawed logic, but Ford chose not to point it out.

Dipper continued. "I make too many mistakes."

"Dipper, you're supposed to make mistakes. You're twelve. Do you think I was able to do all the things I do now at your age? Not even remotely.

"And more to the point, you don't have to embarrassed about those mistakes. Especially not with me."

"But you're different! You're the author! The author I'd been searching for all summer. You're a dimension-hopping scientist! And surprise, surprise, you're even cooler in person! And I'm just... so... small.

"I keep trying to make myself useful, to be someone you can be proud of, but-"

Ford kneeled down and placed both hands on the kid's shoulders. "Dipper, listen very close to me. I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to really hear me, understand?"

Dipper hesitantly nodded.

"I am so proud of you. You're my great nephew. I'm proud of you every minute of every day. That's not something that can change. You've got nothing to prove to me. You make me proud simply by being who you are. Never question that. Can you do that for me, son?"

The boy looked near to tears.

Oh gods, Ford thought, did he say something wrong? He thought this would make him feel better, not worse! Should he-

Little arms suddenly hugged his neck tight. "Yeah... yeah I can."

Ford could not get his arms around him fast enough.

"Now, don't you ever go comparing yourself to me. What a disservice to your incredible self."

Dipper hugged tighter.

Ford himself could feel little pin pricks in his own eyes. He released his hug and cleared his throat.

"Well, I think we've had enough excitement down here for one day. What do you say we head back upstairs for dinner."

Dipper wiped his eyes with a happy smile. "Sounds good to me."

The two walked back towards the door, a new kind of bond formed between them. It felt like something had been accomplished today, and that was all either of them could ask for.

"You are old, though."

"Oh, I'll show you old. Get back here!"

----

This has been an idea of mine for quite some time. Rewatching the show was just the straw that broke this writer's back apparently. So happy to have finally written this ❤️

#tickle #tickles #tickling #ticklish #tickle community #tickle fic #gravity falls tickles #lee!dipper #ler!ford

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writing-for-life · 2 months

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Dream's Therapist

I’m not sure if I should apologise for this brain fart in advance, but it just found its way to the page after this. Yes, this is how my brain works (or rather doesn’t)…

Intake Session

The client presented for his intake session on 22/04. When he made his appointment, he showed particular interest in the fact that this is an integrative therapy practice which uses cognitive, behavioural, somatic and Jungian approaches and is also versed in sex therapy. Naturally the ethical kind.

He was extremely on time (that is to say, close to three hours early), but he insisted on spending that time in the waiting area instead of coming back later. My receptionist assured me he did not move from the offered chair during that time and that he, in fact, did not move at all. She occasionally had to check (inconspicuously of course) if he was breathing.

Upon entering my office, he was polite if slightly aloof. He was dressed all black and refused to take off his coat. No problems with personal hygiene could be perceived from a distance. After getting seated, he enquired whether I could dim the lights ever so slightly because it was too bright, to which I agreed.

I noticed his staring at the crystal paperweight on my table for an extended period of time before he, seemingly out of nowhere, asked: “I trust your office is a mere illusion, a fleeting moment in existence?”

DT: Something like that I guess. What brings you here?

Dream: Well, I have these recurring nightmares. Not while I am sleeping, since I obviously don’t sleep.

DT: Obviously.

Dream: I create them.

DT: The nightmares?

Dream: Yes. And all of a sudden, they all suffer from… existential dread instead of helping to get rid of it. Also, my hair keeps getting tangled and knotted all the time, but I am not quite… certain if this relates in any way.

DT: Interesting. And how does that make you feel?

Dream (deadpan): Feel? I don't “feel”. I weave narratives, conjure nightmares, and occasionally attend celestial tea parties. Emotions are for mortals. The hair is inconvenient though.

DT: Right. Let's explore your childhood. Did you have any issues with your family?

Dream (I notice uneasy shifting in his seat): My family? My father, always running late. My mother… (I notice a slight tremble in his bottom lip)… well, she is… dark. My sister, Death, tells me I am a buzzkill, especially at family gatherings. Truthfully, I believe all my siblings are just trying to gaslight me into believing so because I can be… quite entertaining? (I notice uncertainty). Plus, one of them is… let's just say: they are the reason I have commitment issues.

DT: Commitment issues. Let’s expand on that a bit. Have you ever been in love?

Dream: (I notice extreme rigidity): Love is a quaint human invention, like gluten-free pizza or reality TV.

DT (I don’t know what that means and ignore it): I sense reluctance around the topic?

(He stares at the paperweight for a good 3 minutes)

Okay, let's try word association. I'll say a word, and you respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Dream: Proceed, mortal.

DT: Sand.

Dream (I notice a raised eyebrow and a slightly tetchy sigh): Golden grain sifting through my fingers.

DT: Pillow.

Dream: A convenient weapon during astral battles.

DT (I momentarily feel confused and lose my footing, to which he reacts with)

Dream: I could show you? (I notice he makes a move to get up from his seat)

DT: That won’t be necessary right now… Word association: Unicorn.

Dream: (I notice grave seriousness) My ex-wife. I think.

DT: That should suffice for now. Let’s briefly discuss coping mechanisms. How do you handle stress?

Dream: Stress? When the universe unravels and the fabric of the Dreaming tears, I binge-watch reality shows. The Kardashians, mostly.

DT: Why the Kardashians?

Dream: Distraction. Inspiration. For all manner of things. Mostly nightmares.

DT (I notice the recurring theme of nightmares): Do you hold any hopes or dreams for the future?

Dream (I notice a nervous twitch around his mouth which he tries to hide unsuccessfully): I am the King of Dreams. Dreams shape reality itself. But if you must know, I dream of a world where everyone flosses regularly and understands general relativity.

DT: Why is flossing important?

Dream: I just like good teeth.

DT: Why general relativity?

Dream: Because it would help. With ships.

DT: What ships?

Dream (I notice eye-rolling and bridge-of-nose-pinching): Never mind.

DT: It’s okay, we can talk about anything that seems important to you.

Dream: It is of no import. Is time up yet?

DT: No.

Dream: Good, I shall leave then.

DT (I feel confused but try not to show it and respect the client’s wish to leave. I’m getting paid either way): Same time next week?

Dream (who is already standing): Time is a mere construct. But yes, let us pencil it in. And remember, reality is just a draft…

Further notes: The client suffers from insomnia and thinks he creates nightmares. He potentially has internalised he is one. He seems detached from his feelings to the point he believes he does not have any emotions and does not seem to relate to being human. He feels misunderstood by his whole family and suffers from the delusion that his sister is Death. He makes another of his siblings responsible for his failed relationships, which has led to the ingrained belief that love is not for him. He seems to compensate with believing he is above others and refers to himself as the “King of Dreams”. I notice a tendency to shirk potentially painful topics. He seems to communicate diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities apart from binge-watching TV, but he seems quite enamoured with the concept of astral battles and general relativity, which requires further exploration…

Next Session >

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #Dream’s therapist #satire #or a tragicomedy of sorts #dream of the endless RP #morpheus RP #the stupid ideas generated by polls

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thrushforreal · 1 month

Text

I threw names in a quote generator again!

Duke: Do dragons fart fire?

Trace: I don't know

Duke: I thought you went to college?

~~~~

Cass: I reserve the right to judge a movie based on when it was made, thank you very much

Babs: You consider everything made before 2000 old and bad

Cass: And I reserve that right! After all...

Cass: I bet you wouldn't like the average movie made in 1879!

Babs: There were no movies made in 1879

Cass: *slams table* WRONG! There was ONE movie made in 1879! The first movie! A zoopraxioscope of a horse galloping!

Duke: Oooh! Let's ask Dick if he saw it in theatres!

~~~~

Duke: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I've got a whole box of old positives back at my house.

Steph: You're an American treasure.

~~~~

Trace: I'm going to get myself some soup

Babs: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot

Trace: Pfft, I won't burn myself

*30 seconds later*

Trace, entering the room: I burned myself

~~~~

Tim: You know what I've learned from my friendship with Jason?

Trace: There's no such thing as too mean?

Duke: Never let your family know for sure if you like them?

Dick: Always hold a grudge?

~~~~

Jason: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed.

Jason: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it

Jason: But who's to say

Duke: I think France isn't real

Tim: Duke, you've been to France

Duke: And???

~~~~

Babs: Yesterday, I overheard Damian saying, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" And Duke replying "Trust me," and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

~~~~

Steph: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée"

~~~~

Steph: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Duke: *in the cell next to her* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

~~~~

Tim: As a responsible adult

Steph: *chuckles*

Tim: ... As a responsible adult—

~~~~

Dick: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Cass: Your life?

Dick: I- well, yes, but-

~~~~

Damian: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.

Steph: I almost died

Damian: That...was my favorite memory.

~~~~

And that's all for now!

#batman oc #trace drake-wayne #tim drake-wayne #batfam incorrect quotes #dick grayson #jason todd #batfam #duke thomas #cassandra wayne #stephanie brown #damian wayne #barbra gordon

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weirdstills · 2 years

Text

Q&A with Serizawa Katsuya (from the fanbook!!!)

credits: Muz🧂🌂 on Twitter

Q1. What are your grades at night school? What's your best subject?

A. I'm best at language and history. My grades aren't bad, but I'm not trying to compete with anyone.

Q2. How did you end up at Spirits and Such?

A "If you have nowhere to go, how about you work here?' Seems like other people got that offer too, but I guess I'm the only one who took it.

Q3. What do you usually talk about with Reigen?

A. Things we liked eating at the konbini recently and so on. He often asks me about what's going on at school, or about games and anime that are good for passing time.

Q4. Do you plan to keep working at the consulting office? A. It's rare for me to get hired, so I'll keep working there as long as my employment period lasts. I don't really know what I'm capable of doing, so it's enough that I have a job I can do.

Q5. Do you stay awake for New Year's or do you sleep when the time comes?

A. Awake.

Q6. Who did you talk to most when you were in Claw?

A. The President and Shou, I guess. They have very different personalities, but they treat everyone equally. I'm the kind of person other people usually look down on, so I can tell.

Q7. What's your alcohol tolerance? Do you go out when you're free from work?

A. I don't drink. Reigen doesn't either. We went out for drinks once, and we basically licked the surface of our beers before we started going madly at the edamame. Actually, Reigen fell asleep in the store just like that.

Q8. Serizawa-san, you're reliable and trusted by your boss. Give some advice to the rest of us working adults!

A. When you're just starting out, it's enough just to be able to say hello, thank you, and apologize! But doing these correctly is actually rather difficult.

Q9. What did you do with your first paycheck?

A. Reigen-san lent me money for my suit, so I used it to pay him back.

Q10. Is there anything you wish Reigen-san would stop doing?

A. At first, I thought he kept farting loudly and with no hesitation. Even if he's my boss, I'd hope that he can at least control the volume. It seems like that was actually the sound of the chair being in poor condition and rubbing against the floor, though, so hope he can fix the chair. Also, wish he'd stop joking around when there's dangerous evil spirits in front of him. Kageyama-kun says those aren't jokes, but if that's the case, there's really some situations I don't understand.

Q11. What's the most useless information you learned from Reigen?

A. He said there was a secret method to eating pizza without burning your mouth and then immediately burned his mouth. Also, there's supposed to be some trick to throwing salt around...? My school exams are coming soon and I'd like to remove those memories from my memory, even though I respect him very much.

#mob psycho #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #serizawa katsuya #katsuya serizawa #mp100 fanbook #this shit is so funny #so fucking funny #he just like me fr

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deleted-sissy-baby · 7 months

Text

"Oh mommy knows how excited you must be to finally get to wear boy colors. It's been 6 months now of pink EVERYTHING! So mommy is going to reward you with a boy colored diaper for once. Actually mommy's going to let you wear several boy colored ones, then gender neutral ones, and then the pink ones last so they poop. Oops I meant pop. But speaking of poop your going to absolutely fill your special boy diaper when that turboLAX takes hold in a few minutes."

"Ok sissy girl 15 all diapers on. Sheesh that took forever and let's not act like mommy didn't hear you let out that nasty sissy fart. My guess is that litte fart was not at all just a fart and the look in your eyes told me exactly what I already knew. Don't worry little girl you have about 45 minutes or so until you really explode and trust me its gonna hurt you way more than it hurts me. Now go ahead and moan and push and really let go because mommy is going to film this and post it to your social media so we can make some money off your stinky sissy ass."

#sissy diaper #sissybaby #sissydaddy #sissy daddy #sissydiaper #adult diaper #diaper sissy #diapersissy

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winterrrnight · 11 months

Text

prompt list

note: none of these are mine! I searched all around Tumblr and the internet in genuine; my sources are varied so I don't have one specific person to credit these for

"your hair is really soft after you wash it."

"ssh. Stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair."

"you look better in my clothes than I do."

"did you just kiss me?"

"your lips are really warm."

"quit smiling at me. I can't stop messing up my sentences with you looking at me like that."

"move your blanket, I wanna lay down on your lap."

"sweetheart, you look cute, but I'm going to need that sweater."

"let's go home, you're freezing, and i wouldn't want you catching a cold."

"can I sleep over? My parents are fighting again."

"I know I've kissed you like, 10 times, but just like another 10, please."

"you're so cute." "What did you say?" "I said you look like a boot."

"this sounds like you're flirting with me." ". . . I've been doing that for three years now."

"hey, hey, hey, don't let them say that. You're beautiful."

"no one's ever done that to me before."

"sleeping with you was the best sleep I've gotten in years."

"did you just fart?" "Yes." "Okay, release your demons."

"you're so annoying, oh my god - i love you so much!"

"how did you manage to get the frosting in the ceiling?"

"This tastes like dreams."

"Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

"He treats me well-" "okay good for you." "-but he isn't you."

"put me down!" "I'm not putting you down." "Put. Me. Down." "You're enjoying it, I know you are."

"can we stay awake together?"

"you interrupt my reading once more, and this book becomes a lethal weapon."

"kiss me you twat."

"Don't mess with that, you'll hurt yourself."

"you need to know that I've grown to care for you. Deeply."

"should we like, talk about it?" "aboutwhatnothingweirdhashappenedlatelyhaha-" "let me see if I can jog your memory."

"should I cook today?" "I- i don't trust you with my kitchen babe."

#prompt list #fluff prompt list #fluff prompts #edith's fluff prompt list! 🪄

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comradekatara · 3 months

Note

Hello! So this is not quite an ask but THANK YOU for doing god's work of injecting some actual nuance, defending bolin (among other things), critiquing the comics, and all the plot holes/things that just don't make sense which become glaringly obvious if one thinks about any aspect for more than two seconds (lol but you know this already duh) and am only annoyed I did not stumble upon this blog sooner, since I am so done with this show (but also I keeping at it like the scabs). Also, your art is delightful! If you still require an ask, do you perchance write fanfic? (it's possible you might have mentioned it but sometimes I can't read lol)

Have a good day!

hello, and thank you! also it’s funny that defending bolin is the first thing you list because I thought I made it pretty clear that I think his character is direly poorly-written and that I do not care for him. but… you’re welcome I guess? but yes obviously critiquing the comics and imbuing nuance and all of that I will definitely gladly take credit for. and thank you for liking my art! i do occasionally write fanfic, but i’ve only ever shown it to my friends and never actually posted it anywhere, so functionally, my answer would be no. i have debated posting it in the past, but idk, i don’t think that would be a good idea. maybe someday i’ll snap tho who knows.

as for your other ask…

Also because I clicked on the ask button before I had a brain fart (so if this would come off a bit deranged for posting an ask right after the first my apologies), I also want to mention the commentary that Iroh being 'everyone's favourite sexist' is gold because we just gloss over that and no one ever seems to mention that scene. Another thing about atla is that the reason given for Zuko's constant internal struggle and conflict is because he's descended from the previous avatar and the fire lord but hello, Azula?? Did Ursa have an affair now?? Isn't she just as worthy of redemption, or the fact she's just as abused anyhoo ok im done

I mean I’m assuming by “that scene” you mean the one with june, but tbh his misogyny isn’t relegated to simply one unpalatable scene. it’s reflected in how he treats azula (versus zuko) across the show. and I know that zuko is softer and more amenable than azula, and he has demonstrated a desire to do good that azula hasn’t, but it’s also quite troubling that iroh just writes off his fourteen year old niece as a lost cause when she is also the sibling who most resembles him. and he somehow just can’t seem to understand that she is worthy of the same empathy and compassion and understanding as zuko is, that playing favorites like this isn’t good or normal. and I actually think that azula has it way worse than iroh, both because she’s a girl and because azulon seemed to love iroh conditionally (despite clearly not feeling the same about ozai), whereas ozai’s love for azula is incredibly conditional and does not exempt her from his violence. but you know. her hysterical wandering womb is outta control she needs to go down she cant be trusted she’s a sickopath!!!! like. ok old man.

as for your next point, I do think that what iroh says about zuko’s ancestry reflecting the ideological battle within him is fully bullshit, but I do reconcile that by interpreting iroh’s claims not as what he truly believes, but as a rhetorical point he thinks might get through to zuko. because he’s really run the gamut of wisdom and guidance, some of it even being contradictory, just in an attempt to pierce through zuko’s thick, stubborn skull. and it does pay off, eventually, but it takes ages to get there. like how much do you wanna bet his first approach was to just straight up be like “your father is an abuser and you shouldn’t adhere to his dogmas.” and then when that didn’t work he started getting creative with it. and like, the reason it gets through to zuko isn’t even because roku was his great grandfather, but because he was ursa’s grandfather. and realizing that he too can be good and stand up for what he believes in, like her, his true role model, is his ultimate takeaway from that lesson. but I really do think by that point iroh’s rhetorical strategy was really to just throw vaguely pertinent metaphors at the wall to see what sticks.

#traegern #asks #iroh #zuko #azula #iroh&zuko #azula&iroh #azula&ozai #ursa&zuko #analysis #also thank u for calling it ‘fanfic’ and not ‘fic’ this is rly a pet peeve of mine #fiction????? just any fiction????????#(i do also write ‘fic’ in this sense but like. that’s a completely different question)

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gashotbox · 5 months

Note

(happy new year 🎊 here's a little story to start it off. though it's still winter, we're fast forwarding to a summer setting. also, i have a clear idea of where to take this next so if you're interested, i could write up a part 2?)

they had buried you neck-deep in a sand pit on the beach. one moment, you were chilling on a blanket with your earbuds in, oblivious to what your friends were up to. the next, they persuaded you to climb into a hole they had dug in the sand, saying that you were the only one small enough to fit and that they'd let you out soon enough. evidently, this did not end up happening.

as your head peeked out from the ground, you couldn't move or free yourself of your own accord. with you in this defenseless state, your friends decided it would be the perfect opportunity to pull some pranks on you. one of them stuffed your mouth full of a snorkel you had originally brought for diving. now unable to shout for help, and hidden away in a nook behind a sand dune that was surrounded by reeds and tall gras, you were invisible to the other beach goers.

"and here i thought you've learned from your mistakes the first time around", Jesse tutted mockingly.

"yeah, trusting us this easily after that teabagging prank my brother helped us pull at the last sleepover is crazy", quipped Alex. "well, you're gonna learn your lesson now! lemme see...what should we do with you...".

"y'know, the sun's beating down on them pretty hard. let me cover you up", Jesse said, moving to grab the blanket next to you. but instead of simply covering you up, Jesse sat down right in front of you, ass mere inches away from your face. afterwards, your friend pulled the blanket over you as well as their crotch.

"sorry, gotta change into my swimming trunks without flashing anybody. well, anybody except you." there was an obvious grin in Jesse's voice.

then, their private parts were revealed to you. you tried closing your eyes but as neither of you had taken a dip in the water yet, the reek of Jesse's unwashed junk and naked butt hit your nose regardless. even worse, Jesse didn't seem to be in a hurry to change into their bath suit. instead, you could hear both of your friends faintly chatting above you.

suddenly, noise errupted from the ass in front of you and on reflex, you breathed in the unmistakable stench of a fart. before you could react, another blast hit your face, whirling up grains of sand in the process. you tried breathing through the snorkel in your mouth when something blocked its tube.

"no way, did you just gas them out under there??", asked Alex, clearly amused.

"sure did", Jesse laughed. "even blocking off the vent here. otherwise it wouldn't be much of a prank, right?"

"fuck mate, they'll be planning our murder once they get out."

right on cue, a long, particularly nasty sound escaped from between Jesse's checks, making you open your eyes again in fear of what else might've left their colon. you were relieved to find nothing more than a sweaty but otherwise unmarred asshole spewing putrid gas at you-- and how screwed up was that thought.

"shit", Jesse cursed. "at this rate, my stomach's gonna be the likelier killer. gotta find a loo somewhere."

"or how about we go take a swim and you do your business there?", Alex proposed.

Jesse shook their head, chuckling. "you know, sometimes you can be even more fucked up than me. c'mon then."

finally pulling on their trunks, Jesse stood up while leaving you under the blanket. "don't worry, we won't be gone for too long", Alex reassured before both friends got on their way. after a short while of wildly tossing your head from side to side and having your screams muffled by the makeshift gag in your mouth, you accepted defeat. you slumped forward and waited for your friends' return.

-🔺

this story has me throbbingg.. gosh how humid and sticky it must be, what with the summers heat combined with the fact their hot, sweaty pucker is wagging inchess away from your face. trunks hanging just below their asscheeks so that every salty gust of wind sends the muggy stench of their junk headed your way. each fart ripping out their hole and sending a spray of sweat , sea water and sand particles flecking your cheeks .. fuckkk. only thing that cld make this better is if they bend over and spread their cheeks and slather sunscreen on your nose .“hey, champ, i missed a spot. mind rubbing it in for me?”

#asks #eprocto #eproctophilia #gassy guys #gassy girls #🔺anon

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gallusrostromegalus · 1 year

Note

How do Hisagi and Kira cope with all the chaos Tousen and Gin wind up causing?

So my concept of this is based off these panels in the Manga, where Shuuhei realizes just how much work goes into running the Ninth Division:

(I love Jushiro's r u fuckin' serious? face here lol)

From the interlude between major battles in the middle of the Arrancar arc, in a cafe in seireitei:

*****

Kira sat in awkward silence as his friend and mentor bawled into his shoulder.

"EVERYTHING! I SWEAR, HE WAS DOING EV-ER-Y-THING!!" Shuuhei wailed. Five drinks in and the teetering walls of Shuuhei's stoic facade has crumbled like day-old cookies. "Managing all our contacts and sources, writing in the cultural articles as needed, keeping the presses stocked and in working order, wrangling the other captains to actually submit their reports, keeping the filing up-to-date- He was even writing the crossword every week!"

"It's uh. It's been a change for me too." Kira mumbled, awkwardly patting his shoulder. Across the table, Rangiku has assumed a facade of gentle sympathy as she waited for the storm of emotions to blow over.

"WHY?" Shuuhei demanded, sitting back up. "WHY DIDN'T HE ASK FOR HELP? The workload must have been killing him- it's killing ME and I read at least twice as fast as he ever did! Did he just... Not Sleep?"

"Well, perhaps he found the tasks he had delegated to you to be difficult for him, but the stuff you're struggling with was easy for him?" Kira tried, optimistically.

"No, that can't be it- It's almost the same work, just more of it." Shuuhei sniffled. "Did- did he not TRUST me to handle the workload? He was always a stickler for details- was- am I not good enough?"

"There's also the whole Treason thing." Rangiku pointed out, unhelpfully. "If I were plotting to overthrow the government, I'd take on extra paperwork to keep it quiet."

Shuuhei slumped over the table, contemplating the thought despondently. "...Was I not good enough to take wi-?"

"-You finish that sentence and I'll break this bottle right over your skull." Rangiku threatened. "You were TOO Good for him to make you an offer like that. If anything he knew you'd do the right thing and turn him in."

Shuuhei sniffled, unconvinced.

"How are you holding up Blondie?" Rangiku changed the conversation with the gracelessness but irrefutable power of an ox.

Kira considered her question, chewing his lip awkwardly. "I... Well I don't know how to say this delicately but, um-" he glanced down nervously at Shuuhei, who at least looked like he couldn't get MORE miserable. "-It's actually been kinda great."

Shuuhei stared up at him from the table, scandalized, and Rangiku barked a laugh loud enough to make the room ring.

"Gin was a...hands off sort of manager. He would always back up whatever we decided to do of course- Heck, he crossed swords with the old fart that runs the Fon Clan for us once, but ah... well. As annoying as him being largely absent was, he was worse when he decided to help." Kira sighed.

"THAT'S GIN!" Rangiku cackled. "I swear talking to him was like talking to someone from a different dimension sometimes- not a damn clue how anything worked."

"Yeah..." Kira smiled weakly. "We had a secret staff calendar to make sure he'd be occupied with something if we had a REALLY important project going on, which probably should have been indicative of something, now that I say it out loud."

"It's indicative of a crap manager, which is a far cry from treason, even if both should be hanging offenses." nodded Rangiku. "Speaking of management- Any idea when you lads are going to take the captain's exam?"

"What?!" Both yelped, startled.

"ME? CAPTAIN! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Kira shrieked, laughing nervously like a Hyena.

"Nononono-" Shuuhei waved. "I'm half-dead running things as is, and Tousen left things relatively tidy- Apparently Aizen absolutely TRASHED the fifth division's filing and casework on the way out and it's bedlam over there. For all his other sins, Capt- Tousen at least finished payroll out until the middle of November." Shuuhei shrugged.

Rangiku blinked at what Shuuhei said, confused, but was distracted by the sudden arrival of more friends.

"Hi Rangiku-Chan!" Orihime waved from the door, out of breath and lightly singed from training with Rukia, who followed her in, looking equally gleefully disheveled.

"HEY GIIIIRL!" Rangiku squealed with delight, waving for Orihime to come over for a hug, and the girl practically tackled her. "Oof- How's training?"

"She can throw any Hado up to the mid-seventies right back at me now!" Rukia panted, delighted. "We're gonna start on Bakudo tomorrow, to give myself a break."

"-And Miss Rukia has been casting Hado in the 80's and a 90th level one without incantations, so I can't predict what the next attack is be like!" Orihime bounced with excitement.

"Sorry you're doing fucking what?" Kira gaped as Rukia sat down next to him, looking more than a little smug.

"Casting without incantations Kira, try to keep up!" She teased.

"Goddamn." Muttered Shuuhei. "All I've been doing is drowning in paperwork and failing to drown my sorrows."

"Oh no!" gasped Orihime, joining them at the table. "What's wrong?"

"Besides the everything?" Kira laughed darkly. "Apparently Tousen had been doing like 90% of the Ninth Division's Work and now Shuuhei is playing catch-up."

"Oh, wow." Orihime nodded, patting Shuuhei's shoulder sympathetically. "-that's a lot of work! And with his Spinal Implants too!"

The table blinked at Orihime, confused.

"...what spinal implants?" Shuuhei asked, peeling himself off the table and staring at her.

"Oh! oh no, I didn't mean to blab medical information-" Orihime waved.

"Traitors aren't covered by HIPPA, What Spinal Implants?" Shuuhei demanded, calmly but firmly grabbing her by the shoulders to stress the seriousness of the situation.

"I- um, well- When I was being attacked by Mayuri-Taicho, um, Mr. Tousen stepped in and- well frankly, he saved my life!" Orihime mumbled. "But- he lost his um, what do you call it-? The white jacket? and the back of his uniform had been ripped open so I got a pretty good look at his spine and honestly I thought it was some kind of weird body piercing thing at first but when I asked he got really cagey for a bit and said something about 'spinal implants' but MAN, they looked like they had to have HURT, not to mention the big scars on his shoulders..."

The assembled shinigami shared wary looks.

"...Okay, you're not in trouble. In fact, you might be doing us a big favor." Rangiku gently put her hands on Orihime's. "-But I need to you be totally honest about what you saw, or didn't see, or what you think you might have seen but aren't totally sure about, okay?"

Orihime nodded.

"-Did you, at any point, see Aizen's sword, or think you saw one of it's attacks?" Rangiku asked, eyes focused on the girl in a way that reminded her uncomfortably of being stalked by a leopard at the zoo as a small child.

Orihime thought carefully. "I- um. I saw the big Kido spell he launched right before he and Mr. Gin and Mr. Tousen went through that portal- he was really far away, but I don't think he had his sword out. I couldn't actually see what he looked like, just where the light was coming from? It's kind of embarrassing, but I still don't know what this Aizen guy actually looks like?"

"Oh my god." Realized Rukia. "He didn't take Kyoga Suigetsu out the whole time he was at the execution grounds. If Orihime hadn't seen him before then, she was never under his illusion."

"Rukia, sketchbook." Rangiku demanded, hand out and Rukia rifled through her pockets for the book and a handful of pens. "Alright Orihime- do you think you can draw what you saw on Tousen's back?"

"Oh! yeah, I think I can do that!" She nodded.

"Remember, only draw what you're really, really sure you saw- no adding details!" Rukia prompted, remembering The Orihiminator form her art midterms.

"Right! Um- well, if this is his back-" She drew an outline of a human back, noting were his spine and shoulders were. "-there were these like? Little iron nails? Going up in pairs on either side of his spine. I'm not totally sure, but I'm like... 98% sure there was one pair for every vertebra. His hakama and scarf were in the way so I don't know how far up and down the went, but it looked like his entire spine? and then there was this bright red thread woven and tied in really elaborate knots between them- Um. I'm not sure how exactly, but it was something like this- if I saw pictures I'd be able to point the pattern out again." She explained, continuing the illustration.

"-And then on his shoulders there were a pair of Kanji that had been like- carved into his skin? They were bright red, like they were infected or maybe that's what they look like when he'd been running? but um- yeah, it was "Silence" on his left shoulder, and "Obedience" on his right- Like this!" She said, holding up the drawing.

The shinigami, as a group, turned white. Rukia slapped a hand over her mouth that only sort-of stifled the scream she let out. Kira started to shake and Shuuhei got up and leaned out the window like he might be sick.

"...They weren't medical implants like he said, were they?" Orihime winced.

Rukia reached over and gently pushed the drawing down so it was facedown on the table. "That's. um. That's a Curse Orihime. That's a really, really nasty curse." She explained gently.

"Shuuhei-" said Rangiku, frowning. "You said that Tousen had finished the Payroll, right?"

"Yeah, out to the middle of November." Nodded Shuuhei, still looking green. "Weirdest thing- he ended it on the thirteenth, a Teusday. Totally not like him."

"-Its also really weird for a guy who is allegedly planning on committing treason to make life easy for the people he's leaving behind by finishing out the payroll." Explained Rangiku, taking out her communicator and Dialing. "Shuuhei- I want you to go back to the Ninth and see what other work he finished that doesn't make sense, and keep track of the dates he finished them out to, Kira- you do the same for the Third Division. That Teusday thing is bothering me. Rukia- I need you to go find someone from the Kido Corps and meet me at the First Division. Orihime- you're with me."

"Yessir!" The three lieutenants jumped to their feet and took off as Rangiku finished placing the call.

"-Sasakibe-San?" She asked when the line clicked on. "Sorry to disturb you, but I think Miss Orihime has discovered something of critical importance. Can I meet you and Yamamoto-Sotiacho at the first division? Now?"

#an elephant is warm and mushy #AEIWAM #Bleach #Bleach fanfic #matsumoto rangiku #orihime inoue #shuhei hisagi #kira izuru #rukia kuchiki #long post

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