#dont think about the logistics too hard It’s fine

[bonefall]

how does the fire scene play out in your redux?

Had a whole thing written out and Tumblr crashed and deleted my post again :/ take 2

The Fire Scene's one of those things that, because of a bunch of my reduxes, can't exist the way that it does in canon.

Adopted kits are valued just as much as regular kits ergo she can't have a reverse psychology "Ok fine kill them it won't hurt me" moment. The Queen's Rights also means that she did not have a social obligation to reveal the father of her kits (though many cats in the clan will think it was a dick move she didn't tell Bramble)

But I do need to preserve Ashfur's motivation that he's scorned by her rejecting him. It's important that he wants to possess and hurt her because he is an incel... though, I do want to weave in something about the "Kin of your Kin" prophecy reaching him and adding an element that they should be dead because their power could threaten ThunderClan (which is from my Villain Thornclaw AU, and imo a much better motivation behind the Fire Scene in general. Especially since it connects thematically to The Broken Code.)

Fragments, rough outline:

-I'm going to change the logistics a bit; Squirrelflight is trying to push a tree down for the Three to climb up. Ashfur interrupts this action

-"My quarrel is with you!" They brawl here, Ash wants to force her to watch her kids die

-I'm thinking she lets loose the secret to disarm him for a moment, "ok. kill them. they aren't my kits so i dont care" "Wait-- what? Wait! No you're lying you turned around go go back into th-" SQUILF KICKKK

-Maybe she even kicked him so hard she launched him into the tree, knocking it over. Girlboss. let my cats do anime battles

-This is when the three start coming up the tree, but Ash obviously is trying to stop that. Lionblaze gets to run up and slap his bald head

-Lion can have a moment here, if it's fitting, that he isn't capable of killing Ash and feels ashamed of his monstrous powers. He was his mentor-- in this rewrite, a mentor is emotionally like another parent. He's overwhelmed by hurt, betrayal, and thinks back to all the things Ashfur did that hurt him

-In general I really need to hammer out what their mentor/apprentice dynamic was like, and how it affected Lionblaze's personality. Thinking about it now, it's super important for this scene

-hmm... maybe I can tie the prophecy-motivation back in here, and have THIS be the moment where they logically work out Leafpool is their parent. "They aren't Squilf's kits, BUT Lionblaze obviously has star powers, so they must be Kin of Firestar's Kin through someone else! Ergo the only logical choice is LEAFPOOL"

-but like... y'know, less smartly worded.

-Anyway Ashfur runs. This is also the last story beat in Hollyleaf's Po3 arc; the last betrayal she can take before she begins her villain descent.

Post-Fire Consequences:

-Ashfur... he can't just walk off scot free, in any case, Firestar or Bramblestar (depending on if Firestar is dead yet) wouldn't let an attempted murderer stay in the Clan

-Maybe Hollyleaf kills him purely out of revenge? For how he hurt his mom, his brother, how he threatened his family. she deserves a lil revenge tbhhh

-Maybe Firestar died somewhere else during the fire and killing Ashfur right now could look like part of the same murder. Especially since Fire could have "black fur" in his claws too because Breezepelt does it. (tfw you and your evil half-bro are drowning two guys in the same creek and there's an awkward silence /j)

-When Brambleclaw/star finds out, he's upset that Squilf lied to him. That's understandable. If he's -Star by this point, he demotes her as deputy immediately because he can no longer trust her and she helped conceal a crime.

-ThunderClan is NOT completely in favor of this. Opinions are super mixed; some agree that a leader has to be able to trust their deputy. Others say Squilf was upholding the warrior code by protecting the kits. Others think it's fair for Bramble to be mad, but that Squilf was the best choice for a deputy and his personal anger is clouding his decision (a sign of a bad leader)

-Overall though, Bramble's reputation takes the larger hit here. The Thistle Law-leaning supporters who don't respect the Queen's Rights didn't like Squirrelflight politically to begin with.

-Also this is the beginning of the end of Bramblesquirrel in my rewrite. She never gets back with him romantically after how he acts in Bonefall OotS, though she does, briefly, consider it in Squirrelflight's Horror. (I think the title of that redux says everything about how 'Great' of an idea that is.)

So In Conclusion

This is the second-to-last major conflict of Bonefall Po3 before we end the arc and go to Bonefall OotS, and the widely accepted end of the Power Era as Inter-Clan political relationships sour, with no proper Fire Alone leadership to smooth tensions.

I would like to have one final Clan battle after the Fire Scene to set that up, after which Hollyleaf vanishes into the tunnels. If I was renaming the books of each arc (which I haven't yet just because none of my outlines are truly detailed enough yet to really outline 6 individual books), Sunrise would become Cruel Season.

In Cruel Season, we also get the birth of Jayfeather's kits, adopted by Lionblaze in a parallel to Leafpool.

Feel free to leave suggestions and feedback on parts that are good, and what's not working about this. It's still WIP territory.

#Bonefall Rewrite #Bonefall Po3 #Bonefall Fire Scene #Hollyleaf #Lionblaze #Ashfur #Squirrelflight #Bramblestar

[adoredmarigold]

Questions!! Yay!!!!!! I've got a lot to ask about, I'm sorry

1. What are your favorite ships other than david and lingard (tbh in some way that ship reminds me of kirk x bones, not sure if youre into star trek tho xd)

2. Ava or Tripp?

3. Favorite S2 characters? Do you have any S2 ships?

4. What do you think are the best possible and your favorite endings of S2, S3 and S4??

5. And of course, I wanted to ask, whats your opinion on Bonnie.

I feel like I've been asking you some questions before but I dont remember excstly what it waasszzzzzzddsdszs if I already asked some of these questions IM SO SORRY but I cant say no to asking twdg questions

hello :) 1. VIOLENTINE!!!! It's such a lovely ship I will defend it with my life, istg Violentine haters have yet to bring up a valid point as to why they don't like it. I have some crack ships like Eleanor x Kate or Eleanor x Ava, I don't have much to say about them I'm just gay and wanna ship my girls together lmao. hmmm, I've been seeing some Mark x Lee stuff to and that looks pretty cute. Ermmm this is making me realize I actually don't ship much in twdg lmao, I guess I also ship Clouis and Gabentine Clouis is sweet and has good moments but I just don't find them as compelling as Violentine (sorry Clouis shippers). As for Gabentine I guess I would say I ship it, but more so in a "first crush/puppy love" kinda of way, The relationship never becomes anything serious they're just kids with a crush on each other and honestly I don't need them to become anything more than that. aaaannnd I know nothing about Star Trek but you're gonna make me look into Kirk x Bones now, thanks. 2. Well if we're just talking about the characters in general then Ava, she's so underrated imo. BUT, if we're talking about whether I choose to "save" Tripp or Ava during the execution, I always choose to let Tripp live. I'd rather have Ava die here than get that stupid fucking death she gets in ep 5, Tripps death in ep 5 is a lot better cinematically and writing-wise. 3. Sarah :) She's been my fav season 2 character since the season first came out and I will never forgive the writers/fandom at the time for how they treated her, SHE DID NOTHING WRONG. As for ships I guess I don't really have any for season 2, I mean Alvin x Rebecca I suppose though I'm not particularly invested in either character. Never been a Nick x Luke fan, I get the appeal but it ain't for me. 4. I can't really say which ending for each season is the best cause it's all pretty subjective, but I will give you my favs :) I guess I don't really have a fav ending for season 2? I choose the alone ending each time just cause I can't deal with Jane and Kenny's bs, don't hate either character but Clem doesn't deserve to put up with their bullshit anymore, she's the main character it's fine let's just ignore the logistics of an 11-year-old going off alone with a newborn. I also like the Wellington ending alot though! Not only because it's the best location for Clem and AJ to end up at but it also gives a satisfying conclusion to Kenny's character imo. Kenny spent all of season 2 trying to keep Clem and in the end AJ by his side for ultimately selfish reasons and he became extremely violent and unhinged in the process. So to see Kenny finally be selfless and be willing to give them both up to ensure their health and safety really redeems him for me. Kenny loves Clem and AJ but I really don't think he's fit to take care of them, this is the best possible Kenny ending for me. 5. Bonnies cool. It's been awhile since I've played season 2 and 400 days so I am in a desperate refresh of her character, but from what I remember she was interesting. I def think the fandom goes WAY too hard on hating her, from what I remember she's not really any worse or better than any of the other adults in season 2, she's extremely flawed but hell who isn't in The Walking Dead. I get being frustrated with her but the lengths people go to shit all over her character is kinda insane to me. So overall I guess I don't have much of a strong opinion on Bonnie, she's an interesting character with alot of flaws but I don't think she's evil or cruel. I hope her and Mike where able to get away and join a community or something. Also, I distinctly remember her being my fav 400 Days character and having a crush on her when I was a kid lmao. wowie okay that's all I gotta say, and don't worry you're all good! If you (or anybody really) send me a question and I don't reply it's probably just cause I forgot to or I'm stumped on what to say. CRIES

#twdg #Oh I also ship Joan and Clint

[kurain-genealogy]

im so glad people on tumblr think the dittophobia stuff was ridiculous. i absorbed all that info via twitter (i didn't look here because i honestly didn't think there were people actively keeping track of fnaf lore news on tumblr 💀) and everyone was acting like the fucking. fnaf4 gas chambers solved everything and that it was genius and i felt like i was going insane because what the fuck is all that. that's ridiculous. WHY. it's overkill like for what reason does that have to happen. i know trying to think about things logically in the fnaf universe is out the window but logistically i cannot suspend disbelief that hard. i don't care if it was planned/hinted at since SL. it's dumb. it's weird. it's cartoonishly evil and in the BAD way. william afton is not some sort of mad scientist. he's a dad that fuckign sucks at being a dad and kills other peoples children for an undisclosed reason. ive always thought the immortality motive was dumb too. for why. for what reason. why in any way is this a compelling motive from a narrative standpoint.

i thought illusion disks were dumb until this. i'd rather that than whatever this is. to me fnaf4 is still just a nightmare. all the sci-fi elements of fnaf that occur before like, 2020, just straight up don't exist to me. my [non-paranormal] suspension of disbelief ends at the child-snatching funtime animatronics. like sure he fucking did that i guess. remnant? whatever. i dont acknowledge it but it can supplement the Lore if you want it to and it's fine who give a shit. but ur not going to tell me bro made a fake house and pumped scary gas that makes you see freddy fazbear and kept a guy in there for a decade. what.

steelwool-era fnaf can be as sci-fi as it wants, i enjoy the sort of new chapter they're doing with the mimic and virus and all that. very cool way to keep the story going while keeping afton in ucn hell. assuming they dont change their damn mind again.

#dontlistento me #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #william afton #dittophobia #fnaf dittophobia #this is very rambly sorry

[tumblezwei]

ruby neo fist fight idea anon is back again to say... just watched the episode (only once, and on a tired brain) and I am mildly disappointed that there wasn't a storm at all but I'm having feelings. ruby Did get bruises but holy Fuck? genuinely probably rewatching it at least once. i dont understand half of what happened. one of my biggest questions, how did the cat speak while in neo's body because she's physically not capable of oral speech???... THAT HAS SOME VERY DISTURBING IMPLICATIONS idk how i feel about most of this i feel like ill proabbly rewatch it tomorrow when im not as tired so i can understand what the hell happened. kinda what i expected kinda not. and idk if i like the parts that were really off (but the cat being a twist villain is something i genuinely didn't see coming and the "transformation" will haunt me for weeks)

I'm kinda sad we didn't get a storm either, but I still expect it to show up before the volume ends. Gotta have some payoff for ep 7's set up.

And I'm pretty sure CC was able to speak bc of magic stuff. I wouldn't think too hard on it, since I'm not even sure we know why Neo can't talk, just that she isn't capable of it. Of course, it could be explained in the novel that I still haven't read, but even so I wouldn't try and work out the logistics too finely. The cat possessed her so they're soul overtook her's and allowed them to speak through her.

I hope you get you thoughts sorted out! Personally I really enjoyed this ep. I found the transition from the forest to Neo's mansion to be a little too abrupt, but I think this is one of the best pay offs that RWBY has done in a while.

#ask #and yeah i am saying thst bc it's ruby focused #anon #rwby9

[doyouevenshipbr0]

ok SO obv doing a legend of korra rewatch.

as much as i love season 1 i have some changes i would like to make…… (the show is over 10 yes old and there is literally no changing it)

BUT! im ngl i never loved the exact way the last episode fans out. its good!!! really good!!!!! but consider this……

first, if amon took korra’s bending…… i find it really hard to believe she would still be able to airbend…? like. ok. fine. i get it and i believe it. but it still doesn’t seem like an airtight plot point.

heres my change: amon never takes korra’s bending. hes about to, but it triggers her to go into the avatar state for the first time and therefore triggers her airbending for the first time. it wouldve been reealllllyyy cool if the first time we see her in the avatar state wouldve been during an actual battle. wouldve been more impactful imo.

then, u might think, “well i love the part where she meets aang and he restores her bending!” so i agree. but again, the logistics of this are a little iffy. this feels a little too easy for her and a little too spoonfed. also, if im being honest, it doesnt even really feel earned. yes korra grew a lot and she beat amon, but she gets a special visit and little treat from aang JUST BECAUSE shes throwing a fit bc she cant bend anymore? (not downplaying her grief! bc i would also be pissed! im just sayinggggg i dont love it.)

SO! insteadddd maybe a couple more people lost their bending. yes lin but maybe tenzin also loses it before korra is able to rescue him. or maybe mako loses it when he fights amon. and THAT could make korra all depressed bc she feels like since shes the avatar, she shouldve been able to help them and stop them from losing their bending.

and THEN!!! aang shows up! and gives her the power to restore bending! he already does that anyway butttt yea hehe.

im just saying it would’ve been way cooler to see korra beat amon via some avatar state destruction (also in turn unlocking her airbending abilities). and i think its too easy for korra to get her bending back just from aang (whos dead btw) doing a lil avatar magic. seems more plausible that his avatar magic could just give korra the ability to restore bending!

im js the original is obviously fine buttttt…… just consider my version ok. mine is cool too.

#personal #tlok #lok #legend of korra #the legend of korra

[dawnowar]

Feeling good

I don't know if I'll remember to do it, but I have found out today that theres a way to cross post from instagram that doesnt take too many more clicks than not cross-posting so I'm gonna try and keep my tumblr up. From the day I first found tumblr in the very beginning, I have always preferred this as a format than any other way to post my stuff online.

No one looks at it but not only is that fine, it keeps me very unguarded here since I don't have to worry about which assholes on my friends list are gonna argue about things I say here or who is going to see my opinion about them or whatever so I've been using it as a place to vent.

Anyway I just got back from my 2nd workout of 2024 and I'm just logging here that my fitness level is much higher than it usually is when I start my January diet. Probably because I just did 17 classes in like 21 days to get my 2023 shirt before the end of the year.

It's good. I'm also a lot flabbier than i usually am this time of year but i feel like its very realistic to think that by Valentines Day i'll be considerably less flabby.

I always do January diet and exercise till Valentines day when i begin celebrating my birthday for way too long. Till im sick of it and then i go back to being normal, meaning some balance of eating and exercising till the holidays when it all goes out the window.

I got sick back in October and then again and again and again 5x till i just gave up and was like ill go back on a diet in Jan. Theres no way to be sick and on a diet. anyway i've been eating whatever for so long im flabby as i was before i got serious and took it off last summer so I gotta do it again. Which sucks but I also feel like I know how and I'll do it.

So i just cross-posted most of 2023 over here and had to take the time to look at everything i did all year.

It's a scrapbook really. I think tumblr started out with that premise. That you should use it as your scrapbook. Ive always seen it that way. its just a public-facing scrapbook.

Only things I really left out were some failed relationships. I started or tried to start or meant to start and i think ultimately all of them, even though they were all completely different, failed because I just wanted to do my own thing. I think I've been on my own a long time, and as much as I'd like someone to fall in love with and live happily ever after with, i also have my own agenda and its hard, after so many years to coordinate time and spending money for other people.

And again, I spent all this time on diet and exercise only to have to do it over again now... but romantic dates = eating for some reason and I'm so stressed out spending time and money on meals. I like company but I need to save money and exercise and this is my priority now.

I do girly exercise so its not like i can exercise with a date and its too damn cold to go for walks or whatever. I hate gyms and i dont think theyre a good place to get to know each other anyway.

I just logistically can't make it work.

Oh im sure there are other reasons I'm not trying to publish that things didnt work out with any of these guys but it really is just so much easier and less stressful to not try to date and to eat right and exercise.

So thats what ive been doing and thats what i intend to do for January and into the first two weeks of February and then i guess maybe ill reevaluate.

[the-darkgod]

its like, the reason i didnt end up moving was bc a) i was scared and b) i was thinking that i should stay in seattle rather than kinda "giving up" parts of my life to move. i do think i wouldve had to - i think i wouldve had a hard time making friends, wouldn't've been able to go to as many events (many small american artists are not exactly touring in geneva lol, and as small as europe is comparatively, i dont make enough to be traveling every weekend or w/e)

but now im faced with so much regret. did i make a mistake in not moving? im not really doing much in this city anyway, its not like im doing something great by not leaving. sure i have some friends i hang out with, and i love those friends a lot, but is it worth it? am i really sure i wouldn't have made more friends? would it have been as bad as i was expecting?

im not sure. i think it wouldve been rly hard, i dont want to diminish that just because im feeling regret. the moving process sucks, and geneva is a really difficult city to move to, afaik. living there is expensive, and id prob be living in one of the french towns outside of geneva, making it even less of a city and more of just... a town. finding a place to live would have been challenging - i was reading a lot about it and the amount of paperwork you need as a foreigner is tough, and time consuming, and i wouldve had to find a place where i could keep my cats as well

im also on various medication which i wouldve had to find someone to prescribe to me. a psychiatrist wouldve been doable, but something like going to a gynecologist wouldve made me nervous, esp. bc im nonbinary, and on T, and wouldve liked to keep that going even after moving. switzerland isn't a super progressive country (not the worst, ofc) but it wouldve been harder to find an accepting physician or gyno than it is in the city i live in rn, where basically everyone is at least aware of trans people on some level, and the vast majority are trans positive

like - im not saying it wouldve been impossible. there are trans people in switzerland, obviously. but it wouldve been like - i moved, then in one month basically idve had to: travel btwn switzerland and home to get my cats a couple times + dealing with all of that, getting my antidepressants set up over there, finding someone to prescribe me birth control, and getting hormones and a doctor who is knowledgable about hormones specifically for nonbinary people. impossible? no, obviously not. but a lot to do in a short amount of time, when moving itself wouldve been hard.

but despite all of that, and knowing all of that logically in my brain and recognizing all of that - i still wish that i didnt leave this group. i wish that i had stayed, and moved, bc shouldn't it be worth it in the end?

finding research im interested in is hard - and that was research i was interested in. it was cool stuff - the physics was fun but it also was a lot of training in something i wanted to do after graduation. and thats maybe the biggest thing. the new research im doing now is fine in terms of physics but the computing is .... limited. the group is much more physics oriented rather than being like a mix of physics and CS. and thats fine - great even - for most people. but i dont want to do physics necessarily after i graduate, id rather do some sort of computing. but this new group isnt going to prepare me as well for that, and then what am i going to do?

like, was i just not going to move because it was too scary and missed out on this great opportunity for me? did i ruin my future just because i was too nervous to move? too scared of all the logistics? what am i even doing with myself now that im in seattle. just sitting around basically and thinking about how anxious and depressed i am. maybe seeing some friends once in a while. was it worth it? i dont know.

#alex speaks #this has me feeling sick like every day el oh el #grad school tag

[alstroemerian-dragon]

alright lets get this show on the fuckin road finally

🌺 hi! im aed/meria, and my friends have finally bullied me into making a dr blog because i have worms in my brain. 🐛

im both an artist and a writer and i will try to post some of the stuff ive done soon! i was putting off posting my fics for a long time because i was embarrassed but now that this exists i guess i have no excuse. as for art, i dont have a load of time for it, and when i do its rarely anything finished (plus my laptop is definitely on its last legs 😔) but ive still got some stuff, and its very gay, so hopefully people like that

im gonna state for the record im Primarily obsessed with sdr2. dr1 is fine but im not all that attached to the characters, and my relationship with ndrv3 is extremely toxic and unhealthy and we should probably seek relationship counseling because its getting a little out of hand. i also am the kind of person who thinks way too fucking hard about things that truly do not matter all that much, and i do insane amounts of research in order for a single piece of dialogue in a fic to be realistic, so my main brain space is occupied by logistics of the remnants of despair and post sdr2 canon events, so expect mostly content about the five survivors, both canon and in aus

i got into dr bc of scout of clown_depot and papermariowiki fame and because my boyfriend made me watch the streams they and their friends did of that game and it did irrevocable damage to my brain. specifically, hajime and fuyuhiko grabbed my brain stem in their fists and decided it was theirs, so im ngl im probably gonna mostly post about them.

big shout out to tumblr users hajihiko and causeitsagame for being my main source of inspo and content for the past six months of silently stewing in this fixation. y’all are real ones and a few of the only people i respect in this place. gd bless

#personal #intro #not gonna tag w anything dr related yet bc this is gonna be my pinned for a bit until i get something more comprehensive #and maybe clean this place up a little more. get a proper pfp. #anyway 👋 to anybody whos reading this #welcome! #meria canon

[mydekuacademia]

Aizawa and fem u.a student reader with bipolar ok so Aizawa to the reader dorm to check up with her and see a note on her bed saying that she ran away but happy ending (because the reader is manic episode) platonic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You betcha!!!

Full disclosure: i dont have Bipolar Disorder, so I dont know the specifics of it. I do, however, experience mania to an extent, so ill try my best to keep this as accurate as possible. In addition, I reached out to a couple people who experience manic episodes to make sure I'm being accurate and respectful. Please please please let me know if any of this needs to be changed

When I refer to a character saying your name, I use (y/n) so you can decide if youre close enough to be on a first name basis. I use (l/n) (f/n) when referring to your full name :)

Warning: manic episode

Can't Be Here

You had felt something building inside you all day. It started with a minor twitch that wouldn't go away. Then a quiet buzz in the back of your skull - insistent, annoying, but barely there. Too soon, though, it morphed into more.

Your skin was crawling. Not like there were bugs on you, but like your skin itself was moving. Your mind was racing faster than it ever had, even during villain attacks. You didn't know why, or how, but you needed to get out now.

You hardly managed to scrawl a note to your sensei and friends and toss it onto your pillow before you were out the window. Luckily, you were on a lower floor, but you didn't think a bigger height difference would have stopped you. There was no way you could sit still in that damned dorm anymore.

The worst part was that you knew you were being irrational. You were safe, your friends were safe, your teachers were safe. There hadn't been any notable villain attacks in almost 2 weeks, and the League of Villains was completely silent. Your grades were fine, your family happily was on vacation, you even found some money on the ground ealier in the day. Logistically, nothing was wrong. And yet...

Your legs burned as you sprinted, breath coming out in gasping pants. You knew you had the stamina and endurance to handle a run like this, but something was wrong, you just didn't know what. It was infuriating. You kept running, hoping to outrun the exhaustion.

You ran until you physically couldn't anymore, until the sky was dark and the streetlights cast flickering shadows across the sidewalks. You finally stopped when your legs gave out, stumbling to your knees then faceplanting onto the dusty sidewalk. Your mind continued racing, only pausing long enough to supply you with, "I'm lost."

Truly, you didn't recognize your surroundings in the slightest. You saw the neon lights that could have signified a fast food chain you knew, but you weren't facing it, so you couldn't tell. Now you were disoriented and scared and exhausted, but your fatigue won out and left you unconscious on the street.

--------------------

Aizawa was worried. That morning, he'd noticed how your eyes were just barely flighty, how you seemed to space out more than normal, how your friends shared concerned glances behind your back. He knew about your bipolar disorder - he earned your trust with this knowledge a couple months ago - so he wondered if you might be having a hard time with your mental illness. He wasn't sure how to help at first, so after class ended, he made a stop at Hound Dog's office for advice before heading back to the dorms.

He had a whole mental checklist of ways to offer help while not giving you special treatment. Extra time on the essay he'd assigned the other day, ask for your input on any changes the classroom might need to help you stay focused, set up regular counselling appointments with Hound Dog, etc. He saw your potential as a hero and was ready to do whatever it took to help you get there.

Aizawa stalked into the common room to a chorus of "hellos" from his students, minus the one he wanted to see.

"Where's (y/n)?" he asked his class.

Jirou sat up a bit. "I saw her go to her room right after class. She hasn't come out yet."

Yaoyorozu nodded. "We were just discussing whether or not we should get her for dinner." The girl paused and frowned. "I'm sure you noticed, sensei, but she's been acting off all day."

Aizawa sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, I noticed. I was hoping to talk to her about it." At the sight of the two students' concerned faces, he tried to reassure them. "Whatever it is, she's a hero-in-training. She'll be fine. I'll go look for her now." The girls nodded at him and turned back to each other, and he made his way to the stairs.

He reached your room in no time, having speed-walked to your dorm. He knew he just told Jirou and Yaoyorozu that you were fine, but he still had his concerns. He raised his hand and knocked at your door.

"(Y/n)," he called. Silence. He knocked again, harder. "(Y/n)!" Still nothing.

"I'm coming in," he warned. When he still heard nothing, he pulled out his master key and opened your door, pushing it in slowly to give you time to protest. When you didn't, he pushed it all the way open and peered around your room.

While you weren't absolutely spotless like Iida or Yaoyorozu, your room was normally tidy. At worst, there might be an empty mug on your desk or a crumpled paper just outside of your trashcan. But now, Aizawa noticed just enough of a mess to indicate that something was off. Your bed wasn't fully made, there were a few scribbled-on papers on your desk, and your shoes were haphazardly tossed against a wall. Upon further inspection, Aizawa noticed a crookedly-folded note lying on your pillow. He carefully picked it up and read it, heart racing.

"I'm sorry. I can't be here anymore. I'll be back when I feel normal again, whenever that is. Sorry to worry you.

-(Y/n)"

The note crumpled in Aizawa's fist. Damn it.

Just as he whipped out his phone to call Nezu, Present Mic, All Might, and the rest of the staff, his phone began ringing.

"Tsukauchi?" he asked aloud. He answered the call. "What is it?"

"Hello to you too, Aizawa-san," the detective said dryly. "I'm calling to let you know that a student of yours was found collapsed 5 kilometers from the school."

"(L/n) (f/n)?"

"Yes. I took her to the hospital to be checked out, and she's in my office now. She's fine, just exhausted. Please come collect her at your earliest convenience."

"Of course, I'll be right there." With that, Aizawa hung up and dashed down to the detective's office, where you were curled up in an armchair next to the chair Tsukauchi was resting in.

"Ah, Aizawa-san! Perfect timing!" Tsukauchi greeted with a grin. "Miss (y/n) is ready to go back now."

You could hardly look up at your sensei with how ashamed you were. What kind of hero runs in fear of nothing? For nothing? With no goal in mind? However, Aizawa didn't allow you to wallow any longer.

He dropped to his knees in front of you and tightly gripped your shoulders. "Please, (y/n), tell me next time you can't be there. We'll figure something out, I promise. We can train, I can pretend not to notice when your classmates get too out of hand, I'll give you extra time on your assignments. Whatever you need."

You sniffled and nodded.

"I'm so-"

"No," Aizawa interrupted. "Don't apologize for having a mental illness. This is not on you, got it?" He held a hand out to you.

Your eyes widened a bit, and you looked uo at him, searching for any hint of a lie or stretched truth. You didn't find any. You placed your shaking hand in his, and he tugged you to your feet.

"Let's go back, yeah? I hear the others are planning a movie night."

#boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha x reader #my hero academia #mha #mha x reader #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #dadzawa #platonic

[pespillo]

man.  

you know what , yeah , ive been a major jackass for gd knows what long, i am bossy, i am annoying at times, i tend to take the wheel umprompted , i think I Know SOOOO much even when really im throwing stuff at the wall seeing what sticks best, i hype myself up because i legitimately feel like i need to do it , maybe im overcompensating a lot, i know i can make people feel Bad when i talk to them and criticize them , i think you all got all the right to criticize me when its due, i Should Drop Shit faster when some things turns out to be bad and not just hold the hot coal 6 months after the fact because my head tells me “there may be a chance things do an upturn right? maybe theres some inner company logistics i dont know about” n wait around like a fucking dog, barking but not biting . I Should have bitten. Maybe i should have been a kinder person sometimes , maybe i should have been a meaner person other times . And if i ever made you feel bad over something small, i Am sorry, i mean it, you deserved better.

but when i tell you all you dont know even half of me i really mean it, you guys dont know the fucking shit ive been through the past 5 years dealing with family and unemployment , i know it seems like i fucking got it alll together , that because i draw well enough to gain a measly income every month , im just living la vida loca and building this hugeee ego about my persona online , You dont fucking know me , and if you do? lemme tell you, i got dumped out from a newish group because apparently they couldnt Ever Tell me that i was a bit too bossy when roleplaying for a stupid fucking arg , they just decided to all block me and ghost me , PRETENDING to be all like “no no we wouldnt ever just cut people off like that lol” , i tried acting like i was gonna be fine, but i felt worthless and abandoned for a good ass month or two , like i did something  so awful that it was just better to dump me off like that without any answers or closure , turns out , it was just some petty rp bullshit because how dare i tell someone that their writing can be a bit Much i guess. and you know what ? after i learned that this month, im done being a spineless doormat , i realized just by this stupid drama, i WAS being a doormat to cawthon , i was treating this franchise like it was a real “friend” just because im horribly mentally ill about it and let it overtake me in my late teens, and since it was sooo hard to dump a “friend” i just felt like i JUST couldnt do it full on. thats so fucking dumb isnt it?

listen i have no fucking idea where some of you get the idea that i am some kind of , harasser or some shit like, fine , if you build this idea of me in your head because you think i receive too many compliments (its not like im asking for them , i am not gonna reject Kindness) sure whatever, but i dont waste my fucking time sending anons or calling out random people for nothing, literally i just sit here having to witness vile shit out in the public from people who are legit unapologetic and then putting out a post or two saying “hey what the fuck is wrong with these people please dont expose vulnerable people to the gross shit you put out for sexual gratification”. When do i ever act like im hot shit? i feel like a fucking wimp every day of my life, i feel like im a fragile bitch about everything , like i walk around and feel like i wanna cry but im supposed to suck it alllll up because im a grown ass man now and i need to keep people i care about safe , at all costs, even if most of the time i really wanna say “i wanna kill myself” .  

ive said this before, but i am not gonna lay my guts in the sun for strangers to gawk and look at me , not anymore. this is the LAST time i am laying down my problems like this , if you want to seriously talk to me. do it , do it because i literally dont care about blocking random people , i am not gonna fucking block any of you unless you legitimately want me to or , actively try harassing me or harm me or others . And i have good faith in so many people, you should feel good about yourself for having guts to tell it like it is.

anyways, i wish everyone a happy new year´s eve or just , a happy new year, keep yourselves safe and have a good time 

[dwimmerlaiks]

gender thoughts

Amongst all that’s been happening, I’ve been having thoughts about Gender(tm). I don’t know how my brain is fitting that in between all else, but then again, maybe that’s just a last, desperate attempt to distract myself, or reroute the crisis. It’s not working of course, and it’s not a topic that usually has a lot of emotional impact on me (gender, I mean). But it’s been in the periphery of my mind, when I’ve thought back on it, maybe since childhood, in a very vague way, never really pressing. But until the last years, when I started learning more about the topic, found language to discuss it, was able to see other’s experiences with it and expressing themselves, I’ve started side-eyeing this topic a bit more.

One of the problems that I’ve had before, was that I questioned myself for internalized misogyny whenever I experienced that flicker of aversion to being referred to as a woman. And I do know that that was something that was happening, especially from my teens to my early twenties (the 00s were.. well. you know. not to blame it on the times, like, to whatever extent that was a problem, that was of course very much a Me Problem. But I’m just saying the culture of the time didn’t help. Neither did the very rocky relationship to my mother at the time). But I feel hopeful to say that that’s not a problem anymore, or anyway, I’m sensitized towards it and always try to be reflective in regard to my weak spots). And then also, it’s much better being queer these days. I never struggled much with my identity in terms of identfying with it and being open about it, but again, the climate is a bit better these days, I feel like (at least where I live). I think that also factors into it. Also I don’t think that me identifying as a feminist has to be in conflict with me, not very strongly identifying as a woman.

Another thing is that I for example, don’t mind presenting as quite feminine I guess? I like the fashion, I like the expression, the presentation. I’ve never struggled with that much, although I do enjoy presenting much more these days as some sort of genderless blob. It feels comfortable, feels like the status quo. But I do enjoy performing feminity (whatever that means, lol).

And after all the body issues I’ve had most of my life, I do enjoy being in a place now where I feel pretty at peace with my body. I wouldn’t mind being able to switch a couple of parts every now and again (and switch back - basically I’d just love to be like a little lego guy??? does that make sense? i love a blank slate, i love being able to switch it up), and continue to have major moustache envy, but as I said, I’m fine with my body as it is, it’s mine, and I personally see it as pretty neutral.

But yeah, with the other stuff, I don’t know how that mixes with not wanting to be seen as a woman?

But then, seeing people on the street, internet, in the community who are very .. you know. Just seem better and more sure in their relation to gender, or being nonbinary specifically. Like my ex, who is like, beautifully androgynous and nb and where I’d often be like, OH. Gender envy. (Am I allowed to say that? this is all a sensitive topic, I’m sure I dont always find the right words).

So yeah, I’d feel like, ok I obviously don’t struggle hard enough with my gender or identity, these little feelings that I have, I must be faking surely, or, I don’t need to take them seriously. And it doesn’t really bother me to like, put female in document dropdowns (although clicking ‘other’, or whatever options you have these days, does look attractive sometimes). And it doesn’t bother me too much if like, strangers or near strangers perceive me as a woman. The way I feel about it, they don’t know anything else about me aside from that, either. And it’s definitely easier, logistically, bureaucratically, etc., for me to just go with the assigned binary, and yeah. So that’s also something where I’ve thought sometimes, ok does that make me a fake? I’m just faking. I’m not feeling Enough, etc. If I don’t feel like an intense urge to make big changes, if I’m not feeling super averse against it (and I’m not, it’s just unpleasant to be perceived in a certain way  by certain people sometimes)  I must not be real about it?? idk.

Although I do struggle some with the idea of like.. only being found attractive if I perform feminity to a certain degree. I would like to be also be found attractive as a neutral blob, lol. But I do feel pressured to perform feminity to a notable extend, and this has been a point where I’ve felt uncomfortable about it in previous partnerships, but mostly with cis men. But also like, this is nothing I feel the need to look at too directly just yet.

Also I’ve never had much of an urge to like, Come Out as [gender]. So that’s something where I’ve often struggled thinking, ok I’m inauthentic with these feelings. But when like, people close to me refer to me as a woman, it just feels uncomfortable. I’ve tried to express this before but I’m not very good at it, and I don’t think it registers. I was referred to twice as a [...-] woman these past days and especially one time it just made me feel - not seen, or something. But with all my own confusion, I don’t think I’ve ever really expressed this properly before, even to those closest to me. But I do feel very comfortable with those friends of mine who tend to treat me as sort of, neutral. Like, that’s just a vibe you know? But a good vibe. I like being perceived as no gender/tabula rasa gender. Sometimes I like being perceived as [none gender with left girl], sometimes something stronger feminine.

But now I think, these little thoughts and feelings matter too. Maybe these thoughts are just like a soft ball of thoughts I can keep in my hand at play with a bit, and look at a bit. No goal in sight, just like, continue exploring myself and my identities. I haven’t felt the urge to find like, the perfect identity sexuality or gender wise for some time now, but it’s nice to like, reflect and see where I’m at these days, I guess.

#//personal #/del later maybe #lina stop

[geektrashfan]

"This is it Sam, I can feel myself fading"

"DEAN YOU CAN'T--"

"After everything we've been through, I can't--"

"Dean after everything we've been through, everyone we lost, you can't leave me alone, not like this--

Jack, if you're listening, PLEASE, just one last miracle, one last time"

Sam can see his brother's eyes droop, the light going slowly.

Not like this. We faced worse, you can't go like this

"Jack ple--"

He wasnt expecting to be cut off by a flash of bright light--

So much for a blaze of glory- a fucking vamp mime got him.

Dean feels the black closing in, his heart slowing, and the cliched flashes of life. The last is a flash of the familiar trench coat--

"How is he doing?" Eileen signs while putting down the coffee.

"Could be better, but yea he's out of danger"

"I'm sorry Sam, if I had been with you on the hunt I could have helped, I could ha--"

"May be you would have been dying too. We are no longer Chuck's favourites so who knows what could have happened. And I cant afford to see you both like this"

With a soft smile, Eileen cups Sam's face with a look that tells him 'things are going to be okay now'

"Hey, I have a thought. What do you think about not going out there? We can set up a base, we have the bunker, handle logistics and research" and I can be like Bobby

"Do you think it'll work?"

"Why not? We both know a normal apple pie life isn't for us, at least not for the Winchesters. And Garth managed it well, has a wife and kids. May be he could give me pointers on how to go about doing it."

"Getting a wife and kids?"

"A middle ground somewhat, but yea..the wife thing too"

"I guess it doesnt hurt to try..both"

When he opened his eyes, Dean was expecting cookie-cutter heaven (or greeted by Rowena). What he didnt expect was being back in his bed in the bunker, with the soft hairy mess of Miracle at his feet.

"What memory is this now?"

"It's not a memory Dean"

The low gravelly voice snapped him fully awake. There he was, on a chair beside Dean's bed, blue tie, trench coat, messy hair and suit-back in full form.

"Cas--is that really you? Are you really here?"

"Yes it's me" Cas stares into the green eyes

"I regret not coming sooner, heaven needed me."

"Heaven? You went back to heaven but you didnt come home? So what, Jack being God means you're back to being a soldier?"

"That is--that isnt the case Dean. Jack is hands-off and he needed someone to be there, to set things up. The bomb, the empty--it threw everyone out, for quiet time. Angels are back and most of them werent adjusting well with new boss. It took some convincing, but finally there is a new order upstairs. I have been there, keeping the peace, with some close-knit people."

"Okay--wow. Reordering Heaven, what--what are the chang--you know what, I dont even want to be bothered. As long as those winged idiots stay in line and dont threaten your life--"

"I dont think they'll want to go against the boss' father"

Both chuckle at that..so it wasnt a dream, Jack really is God and Cas really is back, and Dean is free...

"There's something more Dean. I'm..I'm not an angel anymore...I am human."

It takes more than a second for Dean to register that..

"Cas" He tries for casual but the shaky voice gives it away, "you said something, right before--did you--how long have you felt this way?"

"A long time"

"And you still do?"

"Yes"

"Stay here then, with us, with me. This is your home after all"

"Of course"

"I guess I should see the sasquatch"

"I'll go get them"

Dean watched Cas move and felt a warmth spread across his chest. "Hey Cas, I love you too"

---------------------------------

"How you feeling?"

"Scared and nervous"

"Dude, you punched God"

"But this is different. This is committing my life to someone, sharing all the good and bad"

"You and me share all the good and bad"

"You know what I mean! But hey, I got you and Cas right here, the good-old-married-couple example"

"We've been together for a year, tops"

"Oh like I didnt suffer the CasDean UST for a decade"

"Whats that?"

"Nothing"

"May I have this dance?"

"Do you see anyone else lining up to dance with me?" Cas rolled his eyes, some things dont change after all

"Gotta say, seeing the big family together at a wedding is pretty great...wish mom and dad could see this"

"Well, they are watching over you, new heaven order and all"

"You know, Sam had this life planned, with Jess, before dad disappeared and all this craziness started. He got his happy life in some way or the other"

"And you didnt have it planned?"

"I thought I'd be dead by now, the way I had been living. Never thought I'd live to see grey hair"

"I like the grey"

And I like this, you and me happy together.

----------------------------------

"What if the baby doesn't like me?"

"He'll like you just fine"

"It's a nerd baby"

"Baby arent born nerds Dean. And besides, he's Sam's kid, no way he wont adore you"

"You think so?"

"Yeah"

May be Charlie is right. I mean Sam loves him, no reason the baby wouldn't.

Wow, his baby brother has a baby now, talk about time flying.

"How are they doing? Is everything fine at the hospital? Did the baby come yet? I got one of every toy."

Okay, Cas is definitely way way more anxious.

"Relax you people, if you're freaking out now, I have news for you...parenthood is hard" Jody chimes in

"It's not like we dont have any experience, Jack had his trouble period"

That earns a big laugh.

"Cas..Jack was a special kid, human kids are more trouble"

"Ohh"

Dean can get used to this. This soft domestic life, theres no picket fence but theres plenty love. He still occassionally thinks he doesnt deserve it, when he does, Cas is right by his side to kiss that worry away.

#spn #spn spoilers #spn ficlet #spn 15x20 fix it #spn finale fix it #spn fix it fic #spn 15x20 coda #spn finale coda #destiel endgame #saileen endgame

[currentfandomkick]

Why Marinette Hates Tim

Marinette blames Tim next summer for all that happened. Why? He cursed her with a vague theory. And Max and her Both know give her a clue and she has to follow it to solve the puzzle—a fatal flaw for her, Puzzler, Hero Stalker (Tim), Riddler and her father, Professor Strange (even if he is using an alias and supposedly dead as far as legal documents go).

Hero Staker Tim swore he’d become Robin if the current one left. It was a joke between them, she thought. Then he vanished the next summer, the first one where there wasnt any Robin mentioned anywhere. It was eery.

Then, then Timothy Drake, heir to some company-who looks a lot like her Hero Stalker—is a Wayne. And there’s a new Robin. This... deeply bothers Marinette. Why? New Robin seeks her out and talks a lot like Hero Stalker. And has a too similar movement pattern and tells.

And wasnt Hero Stalker Tim from a rich but high on neglient at best family? Didnt that happen to Timothy Drake before ending up as a Wayne?

Her that puzzle peice was central to figuring this out and goddamnit. Frost, who hates gossip, told her to just look up the rich families with kids Hero Stalker’s age and see who looked like him and to leave from to his lab and antidotes already.

Frost accidently gave her the vital method to see if Hero Stalker was that dumb to be become Robin after Robin the Second (Jason) was brutally murdered. The answer was yes.

And now Marinette had a crisis. She knew Batman’s identity was Bruce Wayne. How? Tim calls Bruce his dad. New Robin slipped and called him dad. And Tim is New Robin since Tim is Hero Stalker and no one else came close to looking like Hero Stalker from the data pool which involved more hacking than she ever thought she would do.

Marinette, a child, figured out who Batman was by age 9 becuase his new Robin/former Stalker was too obviously himself. She is embarrassed on his behalf, and honestly debates asking Riddler to separate him and Bats in a non-lethal puzzle trap just to lecture him. Becuase what the fuck Hero Stalker! If she can figure it out, then everyone else can too! Probably(?) likely. Either way its bad!

She doesnt though... Riddler puts together she’s concerned for the new Robin, traps Bats in a different puzzle maze from Robin, who is stuck with a grounded Marinette. Why was she grounded, easy. She got caught returning stolen jewlry on camera. It was punishment for failing basic stealth—always take out any witness.

And instead of pointing out she knows who Bats is, she tells him to work on a different persona since ‘i made you weeks ago. Its pretending to be someone you’re not completely is all. I have to do that around Maman and Papa all the time, and whenever i go out with anyone really. Up your secret identity game already!’

Riddler is busy with Bats and didnt do cameras. Why? “Im not redesiging a perfectly good grounding maze every time. They take time and i dint always have it. Its time economics Batman. I dont know what our lovely Princess said or did to your Robin. He’s fine though, see? No major injuries.”

Tim relized Marinette knew Hero Stalker was batman’s new Robin. This meant one thing—he could still help her and the RKC now! Why? He knew even if they made him out, they want to help people and never be like their parents, duh. And if they added to his budding information network with incredibly accurate information so long as he didnt rat them out to Batman, its fine.

Afterall, Pixie Pop wants to help poeple and is working the rouges into vigilantes to help more than hurt, and is doing a great job of it for the most part. So if Pixie Pop is Princess who’s the maybe kryptonian and her powers align with that theory, so what? Superman has an heir already and a bio!son too, apparently. Lois didnt tell him since they werent together then and yeah. So really, Superman didnt need another kid, and Pixie Pop didnt want another dad—“i have Papa and Father and now four of my friends’ dads in Paris called dibs on partial custody. I have more dads than i need for a quartet. That is far too many dads and i refuse to get another one!”

Then Marinette is talking to Alix and finds out about an old director at the Lourve her dad knew, Diana Prince. Marinette was working on a Wonder Woman inspired outfit, and knew her history of Wonder Woman thank you. Its just...

Wonder Woman appeared just after Miss Prince Left. And from the videos Alix sent of her new hero, she was terrifyingly similar to Wonder Woman. Not only did they look alike and have the same hair style preference, it was the same face if she did facial recognition with Markov, her robot son with Max. Then there was gait, generao stances and how she interacted with men and women so differently as both people and damnit. Same person.

She curses Hero Staker Tim for this. She now has to hide two hero identities. Why her?

The third was debatably Ivy and Harley’s fault, but defiantely still Tim’s. Why? He was the one that got her hooked on Barry Allen’s cases, and pointing out that he didnt see meta as bad or evil but as people who can be good or be civilians peacefully. That, she needed that with how much vitrol she had to swallow about her powers indirectly from everywhere but her school and some parts of Gotham.

In her defense, she is a nerd here. A nerd. So realizing the The Flash is also the forensics guy from Central City that she kinda follows on all her social medias, watches the cases of unfold, and knows has a reputation for being late a lot like her but is still well liked. So she may fangirl about his cases with Hero Stalker erm. Tim now, still.

And if one day she managed to pout at her father enough to get him to agree to let her go with Harley and Ivy to Central City for a few days to see the meta museum they just opened up (technically the Flash Museum, but Marinette didn’t care. It was focused on metas not being horrible and that meant a lot to her scared, meta closeted butt).

And then her favorite forensic investigator, The Barry Allen, shows up? Best day ever. He’s nice! And concerned about how much of his cases she knows. Its not her fault this time though! Hero Stalker—Tim—sent her a case of his that went cold and she liked his science and yeah. New hero added to her listpersonal heroes list.

Harley isn’t even mad, just amused as Marinette fangirls over someone that isnt her and Barry has no clue how to respond as a tiny child know him as Barry Allen and thinks he’s awesome? Why?? He is happy but so confused and Iris is dying until Marinette cites cases that she shouldnt know about and tiny child why, how, when and where did you get that information!

The only answer is a friend likes cold cases and has no qualms hacking to find interesting ones, if he’s stumped then Marinette (Jill Smith mr. allen sir!) gets to try. And she is good at it since she can ask an officer in France (officer Raincomprix) about logistical things, common error margins and then puzzle it all out herself from there.

Somewhere she mentions absently that her mom doesnt like her science-y side since her dad was a bad person and liked science but she still likes learning and helping, even if the family buisness is food and service and they want her to either take over or become a designer. She’s thinking maybe for people woth disabilites so she can do more mental work and toy with hiw things bend and move and such.

Iris and Barry are ConcernedTM and debating how to get custody, or get her away from her mom or both. Probably both—no science allowed for a clear science obssessed kid is a red flag for bith of them that somethinf is very wrong. Harley and Ivy wave it off as “trust us, her mom aint budging.”

then the Flash is needed because of some gorilla—Marinette was more focused on an outfit on display and muttering over aerodynamics and friction. Barry is Concerned (smart kid, likes helping, potentially a league ally?) before he bolts, determined to get more on her when he returns and possibly see if he can get cps involved.

Marinette only notices that her hero moving so fast and oh god she did it again damnit! That was superspeed. And only one speedster had similiar measurements, the Flash.

She cant even tell Hero Stalker now because he’s Robin and the Justice League would Flip if they knew she knew 3 of their hero’s identities. She just hit her head and said “i did it again!” Harley pats her head while Marinette burrows into her because why is she a danger to the Justice League and secret identities! She doesnt want to be or to know damnit!

Tim sneezes in the distance and wonders who’s talking about him behind his back this time. He messages batgirl about this bad feeling he has and she laughs it off as the boy developing Batman’s paranoia.

Her Fourth solve was Green Arrow. It was an accident! She swears. She just saw oliver queen with a bow and arrow in a video shooting. and noticed he had a very distinct and familiar style to someone but not who. Then compared it to various archers as her brain was nagging. Then saw a green arrow video and cursed herself again then Tim five more times.

She sent a message to Rose asking why she’s a danger to all secret identities. Rose tells her it is her curse for being too damn smart and not leaving things alone.

Marinette tries reallly hard not to figure out the next one. But really, it should have been an earlier solve and she’s mad at herself for missing it for so long, even if it was more aviodance than denial.

Admittedly this one should have been an earlier solve, but she was very little when she found out about the surgery and everything and it was uncomfortable damnit! So she did what any reasonable child would. Ignore it. Then she went over the file to see if maybe she could possibly target parts of the kyptonian DNA in her to weaken it. And saw who the intended donor was, Clark Kent, a reporter that has impossible luck with big hero scoops, is never injured or rescued, and never been sick. He also looks like... one quick photoshop of his glasses onto superman with a clothing change and she sees her usual disguise technique on goddamn superman. She is overwhelmed with this as ‘oh god superman will kidnap me if he finds out!’ And hides from him whenever he’s in the region—be it France or Gotham.

Her friends think its hilarious, Marinette feels sick from it. She doesnt like this and is genuinely scared for her life and family’s safety now. And we all know how nervous marinettes are.

If at one point batman tried to talk to her on patrol and somewhat suceeded. As in, she spoke beofre bolting.

“I didnt figure out who boyscout and amazon and boltbrain and arrowhead are! Or you and the batfam! Bye!!!!” Yes, clearly Marinette can lie very well.

Batman sees through it and feels sick. He forces a league meeting asap and fills them in.

“this kid put five of our identities together and cant even lie. We need to recruit them.”

“Batman, is this that kid KF mentioned to me?”

Batman nodded. Flash sighed. “Okay. We are on a manhunt for a kid kyptonian that is terrified of all of us, very smart, and may have an active gotham villain as a parent. And somehow knows me and—wait. bats, do you have any pics of your rogues in civilian clothing? I need to test a theory...”

A few minutes later and “oh my god that little kid i met as a civilian figured me out!”

A few days later Flash finds her by acccident as a civilian kid in broad daylight on her own in Central. He doesnt show he knows she knows, And finds out she’s waiting for her babysitter to finish a class.

Flash just asks about a case he put together as Barry Allen that she might know about and...

“Uh, mr. Flash? Why are you asking me? The lead florensics was Barry Allen.”

He tries insulting Barry Allen—he’s late and sloppy and—

only for Marinette to defend him to the death. “He’s late because he stays up late working on other cases. Appearances and organizational skills arent what matters with his expertise mr. flash! He even foghts for metas to have their circumstances and powers impact on them considered dueing sentencing!”

Flash is very touched and shocked. only then he manages to get out of her that where she lives (france) being meta is a life sentence to “a living zombie And jail-time for being born a lot, even if it is t in normal prisons. And you know what? Mr. Allen stated so many times that you need to contextualize powers and abilities and intent in his testimonies for meta cases. Back home youre put in prison for defending yourself...” she tugs at her sleeve here.

“Maman screamed at me when she found out a few kids were getting stalked and i helped out and someone got it on tape. Not becuase my powers showed or anything—father made a treatment so they dont, well, they stay off when i use them and follow all the behavior and environmental rules so they cant put me in one of the centers. But she, she’s stills cared someone will try to check me for abilities back in France, and that she’ll lose me. She doesnt always realize i have them until things like that happen...”

Flash is desperately trying not to adopt her. Wally would love a little sister, and Superman has enoguh kids, Bats does too. he is oreventing arrow form having another one as she’s powered and that isnt a good when working with Green Arrow unless the meta is his girlfriend. And the girl loves science—come on!

batman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman and Superman heard the Feance bit over comms and suddenly it hit them that the kid could be in danger for existing and that an entire country villified being meta to an extreme. That the girl is in hiding and probably using an alias constantly. Batman mentally adopted her ages ago and is now in Worried Dad mode like Flash and apparently Superman was falling into it too. Wonder Woman is in righteous rage mode and ready to fight france herself if she has to—no imprisoning metas for being metas!

Flash decided to be direct since he knew she trusted him as Mr. Allen and knows he’s Flash.“So, am i allowed to know which powers you have?”

Marinette shook her head, visbily distressed and floating skightly. “If, if they ever find out i cant. I cant risk Maman and Papa and Father. I dont know everything but Father only started being a good person after the, the incident where he had to go into witness protection. Maman is dead as far as a lot of people are concerned, or she never existed. Papa doesnt know about any of it. I cant. I cant risk what they worked for by being outted.”

Flash is very concerned. “Thats a lot of pressure to put in yourself, especially at your age.”

marinette didnt make eye contact then. “I have to. If i dont people can connect dots and dashes and blips. Father says its easy for him too and that possibilities are just what we’re both hardwired for but. But i shouldn’t catch as many as i do—my teachers keep saying i need to dial it back and stop catching on so fast and blurting it all out but, i just...” marientte is visibly drowning under the pressure to act not-meta and keep her family safe.

“Sounds like youre a real smart kid.”

“Smart kids dont get caught.” She meant herself with her jewlry returns, Flash thought she meant the JL, and tried to redirect the conversation.

If the JL was out then...

“If you cant tell me, can you at least tell me you have someone to talk to about these things?”

“Auntie Quinn and Rose. Rose doesnt like you guys though.”

Flash laughed a little at that. “Alright, fair enough. Who made her mad? Was it arrow?”

“Batman.” Marinette frowning as she said the enxt bit. “Something about her being given to someone that should never be allowed bear children? She rants a lot so i cant always keep up.”

Batman internally bangs his head against a table. Outwardly, he says “Ivy’s daughter, rose. That girl, she’s the Princess.”

The assemebled winced. They all pushed for Rose to be sent toback to her mother, Ivy, since they didnt trust her with any available mentor and Ivy was usually a low ranking Gotham eco-terrorist pacified by wayne gardens and green initiatives. Apprently Rose has a lot of sway over the Princess too.

Marinette changes the conversation while. Waiting for her babysitter, Ghoul, to leave class. She needs a distraction from her situation that the Flash was willing to give her.

“Can i look at the case again? Something doesnt add up... there! See? Its close to the Speedsters that leave marks at those angles but only if they really mess with the speed force and the spacetime continuum! But theres no evidence of that, its a lightning meta, Possibly using it to teleport since no one came in or out on camera. Its a slight angle and all but...”

Flash decides Marinette will join the Justice League one day or so help him! He also decides to target france’s anti-meta policies and possibly kidnap Marinette.

The League isnt letting him. But he has a fan of Barry Allen who is handling Gotham’s criminals and beign given slack by them... albeit also raised by in-part. But the girl has a strong moral compass that is a lot like most of League’s so.

He’s fighting Bats for custody on principle. His fangirl, he has dibs!

Dont know why it ended up with Flash becoming a ‘Marinette is my daughter now’ person but why not? Wally would like her as a sister, probably.

Marinette blames all of this and the future consequences on Tim. She hates her vanishing freind for this.

#maribat #bio!dad au #bio!dad strange #marinette strange dupain cheng #accidental secret identity solves #my au #my ideas #justice league is trying to get mari and there will be a custody battle #not just between heroes and rogues #but each other becuase yep. too many claims #wait until she gets tikki and diana throws her hat into the mentor ring

[shijiujun]

History3: Trapped FanMeeting Summary - I am an embarrassment to this fandom

Okay guys let me summarise what happened today for the fanmeet - I fucking, absolutely fucking died - Like I died both from excitement and quality content and more importantly, for BEING A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT IN FRONT OF CHRIS BUT MORE ON THAT IN A SEPARATE FUCKING POST OH GOD 

General comments on the event: Chris and Jake’s friendship is okay I think, and I guess putting it in perspective, Andy and Kenny are way better at fanservice and knows what the fans want, while Jake firstly isn’t really the kind to really go overboard on the fanservice with Chris due to his personality I feel, although there was still quite a bit of fanservice between them both - But it was more genuine I feel because Jake or Chris would jump in with something clever and a bit flirty, it felt really natural actually - And also because Jake srsly looked confused half the time regarding what they were supposed to do for the games and segments - More on that below

But more importantly I think jake is legit busy with work, and he’s not really a person to do stuff on social media, it’s not in his personality but he tried today hahaha with a post after the event - jake says that whenever he logs on once in a while he always sees chris’ handsome photos and he looks so good, and chris replied that jake looks... down to earth in his photos hahahahaha

So a few highlights:

Freebies!! There are so many freebies from dedicated Taiwanese fans literally just giving out shit for free - banner prints, stickers, hair clips, photo cards etc. - We took a lot and we’re going through what we have right now, but would you guys want some of the freebies? Let me know!!! If the shipping cost makes sense I’m totes fine with sending you guys some of the loot

Saw Jake’s back going into the building in the morning in front of all the fans because I was too slow but I did see his back 

WeStar is literally in the heart of downtown and it was frickin packed - We started queuing at like 11am+? And there were only 2 lifts to get everyone up to the EIGHTH FLOOR and each lift could only hold like less than 15 people? And there were like 700 of us. Luckily my friend and I were in the front of the queue and managed to get upstairs with the second round of lifts (the staff were asking some of us to take the stairs because it was faster, and it wouldn’t be faster if I died on the stairs while getting upstairs)

In terms of organisation - It wasn’t half bad because we were lucky where we were, we were always in the right queue and right area, but there were literally zero directions or instructions on where to queue or how to go upstairs etc. etc.

Too bad we were seated in row 16 which was actually pretty far, and we were blocked by too many people in front of us and i’m literally like 157cm so wow I really was blocked really bad BUT we could still see the stage

There were like two tables in the hall that allowed us to leave gifts for the four of them - So in my other video you guys saw that I actually did deliver the message books! They’ll definitely get it I think, no chance of it dropping out or mistaken for anything else considering the covers

The event actually started more or less on time - And the hosts were great - There’s Xiao Yi and Chen Chen (they’re both hosts from showbiz, the variety show) and they were fucking good as hosts - Xiao Yi has hosted quite a number of their events, and if it wasn’t him the event would have gone a bit differently

They started singing the opening song for the show first together, coming on stage and like rotating turns to sing a line - They tried the boyband formation it was quite hilarious

They introduced themselves as always - And can I be the one to first say that Jake’s fugly shirt - Fashion was absolute shite at his event - At least Chris had like a suit on even tho i take issue with the print on the suit itself, but wow Jake really went for... wannabe gangster loan shark OR grandmother’s quilts put together - i dont know which is worse idk guys, is it just me or my eyes or is it really fugly - Andy and Kenny were perfect tho

So they began with some best couple scene recaps through the show:

Jack/ZZ - 1st grandma/instant noodles scene, and the ep 20 scene where Jack is trying to confess to ZZ while ZZ is angry

Tangfei - Jealous andy scene at the tea place, the touching hospital scene, and the lift scene from ep 1

They recapped these scenes one by one, alternating btw the couples and then the hosts asked what they thought about each scene when they were filming it and LOL jake and chris were like laughing and being embarrassed when certain scenes came on, and then for the 1st grandma/instant noodles scene, kenny said it was a really cold day that day when he filmed that scene and the noodles were actually ice cold and he had to keep eating it - andy like patted kenny on the back 

for the touching hospital scene - jake said that it was easy to act out because the emotions always came through the moment he looked at chris, and chris said he was really touched by that moment, by jake’s acting

the lift scene was quite tough to act out because of how long they took to get the logistics right

And while the angry ZZ and jack scene from ep 20 was being shown on the screen, ON STAGE kenny and andy were literally reciting their lines and re-enacting the scene

And then Xiao Yi asked the audience which scenes would we like the couples to act out - and everyone was just yelling for the lift scene re-enactment - but logistically that was hard to do and chris was like, “if there’s no lift we can’t do the scene!!!” 

Then Andy and Kenny offered to be the walls of the lift for them but Chris was like whoa then that’s a bit weird because when Jake is slammed against the wall in the lift, that part, Jake will turn around and crash into Andy hahaha so they decided to re-enact the jealous scene instead - with a few additional lines hahaha and then andy and kenny re-enacted the part where jack asks zhao zi if he wants him to stay or go

and then the next segment - there was a game where each couple is supposed to stand together on a piece of newspaper and play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses will get their piece of newspaper torn into half - in the end chris and jake won hahaha but both jake and kenny ended up being piggy-backed by chris and andy respectively hahahaha it was cute

then chris and jake went off stage to take a short break, and since andy and kenny lost, they were punished to do the titanic pose and lines which kenny had to do in half english and chinese

then jake came on stage to sing I’m Yours - he was super nervous so he false started a few times, but he was pretty good and he has a very nice smooth tone - and i think a lot of people didn’t know the song in the audience LOL and then as he left the stage after his performance he left a bouquet of flowers for chris who was coming up next

chris came up after to play the piano and sing some chinese song i’ve heard before but don’t know the name of - and then after he finished he was very touched by the bouquet and then some member in the audience shouted to ask for the bouquet and chris protectively hugged it, but decided to give her one stalk anyway, and when he was giving it out, jake literally came out and then chris was explaining to him like why he was giving away his gift, and jake said, “yeah that’s okay, he knows my heart” AWWWW

then they all came back on stage for a segment of talking where Xiao Yi revealed their childhood photos - jake/kenny/andy were very talkative and chatty when they were younger and andy was isolated in the middle of the classroom, while kenny was directly placed outside of the classroom because he was so noisy, and omg jake was a little chubbier when he was younger and he didn’t like to study HAHAHA

chris was a shy boy and still is apparently!!! and he got a lot of love letters when he was younger and he couldn’t believe that jake/kenny/andy didn’t get any, and then when jake’s childhood photo came out he jokingly said, “now i can finally understand why (you didn’t get any letters”

then we had andy and kenny singing and dancing to marry you totally out of beat, poor guys they tried, and kenny totally missed an entire line, but they were so sweet - they ran off the stage and threw sweets at the audience, and andy said he was thankful to kenny for practicing the dance repeatedly with him because he’s not good at dancing and then they hugged awww it’s cute

fan games: LOL okay so interesting thing was that all the fans said they didn’t want to play the games with the cast but instead wanted to watch the cast play the games so in the end they randomly chose four of the audience to go on stage to watch the cast play the game LOL - so the ones picked were two men and two women #genderequality

1st game: chris/jake and jack/kenny had to feed each other a sushi piece i think, or a pastry i’ve no idea but one of them was filled with chilli, so the challenge was for the audience to guess which of the four of them ate the chilli one, and jake said he can’t stand spicy food and if he had it he’d totally show it on his face - in the end it was kenny who ate it and literally no one could tell

then the second part there was a huge confusion because the hosts weren’t very clear on who was supposed to play the game in the next part - anyway, so they had a how-well-they-know-the-cast quiz with the fans - and here we know that chris likes blue, winter because that’s his birthday period and then he and jake had a moment where they were like ‘oh your birthday is in december too?!!!!’ LOL, kenny likes to eat bbq meat

then the next part, they had the fans on stage and jake + andy drink a sweet drink and also a bitter drink, everyone had to figure out who is the one with the bitter drink and lol jake was so sweet he didn’t want the fans to be punished with the bitter tea, and chris said that he’ll help him to finish the drink if it’s really bitter, and jake was like, “because you’re here, i’m not scared”

afterwards, ezu came out to sing a ballad version of the opening song that made people around me cry hahaha

and also kenny announced a third fanmeeting stop in taiwan after chengdu, on 18 august in taichung

and then there was the hi-five touch and photo thingy - and you guys already know that i fucked it up i am still wanting to cry - i know he doesn’t remember but god I WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO DOESN’T REMEMBER

but i touched their hands hahaha

anyway at the end, jake said that no matter where he is, where we see him in the future, he’ll always be the same jake, and i think this is beautiful

they had the afternoon tea party after the event and from photos i see that it was like a mini-fanmeeting where fans could sit closer to them and really like be able to talk to them, and jake/chris and andy/kenny were very friendly and accommodating from what i see

when we went back to the building at about 6.20pm there was still this long queue outside the entrance, and i went for dinner so i didn’t actually stay to wait for them to come out, but a lot of fans did - jake was surprised so many people were waiting for them outside and he left first - andy/chris/kenny left together in a van and chris was holding a huge bouquet of flowers

if you go on twitter/weibo you can see that jake talked to a lot of fans, said hi to the ones who called out his name, and someone asked if he was tired and he said he was still okay

chris was bowing repeatedly the entire time he was walking through the crowd to the van <3

#history 3: 圈套 #history3圈套 #history 3: trapped #history3: trap #history3: trapped #chris wu #andy bian #jake hsu #kenny chen #history fanmeeting #taiwan fanmeeting #history party #summary #trapped news desk

[gayregis]

sleipnirlo replied to your post “bro if im this petty about how they treat dandelion think about how...”

I feel you friend - from what we've got already, whatever they're doing to Dandelion/Jaskier seems... not ideal, to put it gracefully, and it pains me quite a bit, but if/when they get to Regis... considering the pain in my heart during some parts of b&w, having in mind that I generally believe cdpr's interpretation to be proper (aside from some jarring mistakes) it's going to be a completely another level of ridiculousness on my part; like,, I know it's most probably not possible for the show to meet my standards, but pls... just... get SOMETHING right...

I came to feel so protective of this particular vampire, and people not familiar with the books knowing him as a caricature of himself fills me with dread

tbh my main hope for regis if/when they get to him is that they don’t shy away from making him complicated. he’s kind, also ominous, also funnie … to summarize: shitty old bitch. 

b&w did this thing where they just made regis a very solemn character and also made him closer to the typical arrogant immortal which was just ooc imho... and then they created a new plotline that revolved around him being Uncontrollably Violent for a few seconds which.......... like i just found it SO disrespectful to how regis’s backstory is an analogy for alcoholism/addiction in general........ they literally did the opposite of humanizing him, they uh... monsterfied him? 

regis’s entire character (like geralt’s, and also the rest of the hansa’s) is about paradox and logistical impossibilities. if you’re this, you can’t be that -- but he’s both, for some fucking reason, he defies logic. 

regis is supposed to thread this weird line of what is man and what is monster, and if you’re kind for a century does that make up for three centuries of absolute cruelty? what does it mean to act honorably? at what point can you feel safe and trust someone? 

one thing i appreciate about regis’s character is that he’s always just seemed to go BEYOND his context in the fictional world he exists in. at the end of the day, these characters are not the people we love them to be, but rather messages about what ARE good and evil, what IS humanity, and other deep questions the witcher loves to tackle. within the books, i got a VERY clear sense of how regis as a character was answering these questions and the kind of messages sapkowski was trying to communicate with him. same with the rest of the hansa, in fact. that’s... why... the hansa and ciri and yennefer are my favorites...

to contrast, in blood & wine, i didn’t get this sense of existing beyond the context of the media at all. cdpr just wanted cool vampires which is fine, but the elements of the books are lost because they just gave them up

(wow this got long sorry! i just wanted to explain my thought process behind this list im about to give) 

as for netflix.............. i don’t necessarily think that regis is easy or difficult to cover. but IN MY OPINION nailing these things would help out regis’s character the best:

we should feel safe. one of the things that struck me so hard when reading baptism of fire was how much i initially trusted regis when they found him in that stupid graveyard, despite being well-familiar with the adage of “stranger danger.” he just seemed safe to me. 

this is probably because of how eloquent he is and how omniscient he has the ability to come off as..... so good writing for his dialogue that captures his superfluous nature, that isn’t just what cdpr did where “funny smart guy use big words unnecessarily” ... no, you need to put effort into it by having him use words of an intermediate vocabulary, but using them in such a way as to philosophize about everything and anything that comes up. 

this also relies heavily on how regis delivers his lines when they first meet him. all of his dialogue cues are like, “said softly,” “said gently.” there’s NO aggression, no harm in this man. no reason to fear him.

the atmosphere of his cottage should really communicate this wonderful sense of bucolic bliss, as it were.... the intoxicating heavy scent of herbs... the only lighting in the cottage being fro a pot-bellied stove........ remember, geralt describes this as having could have come directly from a fairytale. in contrast, fen carn should feel ominous, until his appearance.

costume design! don’t forget the apron wrapped around his black coat, please! who can fear a man in an apron?

we should feel suspicious. we SHOULD still feel like he’s harboring some kind of dark secret, though. 

there are so many little clues and points in baptism of fire that hint at his identity, that just should NOT be cut out or overlooked: him being able to detect the healing brokilon medicines in geralt’s sweat, when he refuses the drink politely and says softly, “it’s a matter of principle. i never violate the principles i set for myself,” the dipping into a conversation to name every type of vampire that exists......... the sense that he knows just a little too much to be only who he says he is.

cahir and dandelion making guesses as to who he ‘really’ is shouldn’t be cut out, either. i think their guesses are conduits for the audience to attach onto as we make our own guesses and theories within this short amount of time.

we should feel fear. oh so cdpr wanted crazy ass vampires? well don’t worry, because regis is a crazy ass vampire. but how to get this through to the audience, when he’s not off his shits anymore because it’s the 13th century and not the 9th? it’s going to need to come mostly from geralt. 

they should emphasize the tension in the scene by the yaruga where geralt has his blade to regis’s throat by having geralt’s lines be delivered in a very precise, careful manner. he shouldn’t be furious and dripping with adrenaline, ready to fight regis. he needs to be wary, conserved. we need to sense apprehension to engage in conflict, because he knows that he would likely lose the fight... which will freak the audience out, because asides from that bit with djikstra, geralt up until this point has been pretty powerful and undefeated, i mean we just saw him cleave his way through a fuckton of scoiatel at thanedd (that bit with torque in edge of the world was more for comedic relief imho)

on a related note, the scene where milva and dandelion have doubts about regis and ask geralt for advice, and geralt answers with a laundry list of all the things regis can do and says for himself that he doesn’t know if he could kill him....... that shouldn’t be cut and should strike some fear into our hearts.

regis shouldn’t be devoid of humor. he has his own sense of weird humor...

please keep the fucking pun in: “the immortal soul (...) abandons the stinking carcass and spirits away, forgive the pun.” i think this demonstrates how he has this kind of skewed sense of humor, that serious philosophical topics aren’t dull to him... rather they are exciting and full of riveting debate and also, jokes

that really long conversation with geralt where he concludes with “but i’ll give you some advice anyways: life differs from banking somewhat,” and in the fish soup scene where he really makes fun of geralt as well... but really the whole company should do this

don’t make him an asshole

he should be self-sacrificing for humanity. he should protect the girl in the refugee camp with the utmost conviction... i think this part is kind of easier because regis’s pure actions in the books are enough to demonstrate how committed to humanity he is, unlike cdpr which just made shit up and it went sour because their shit was all like “oh haha humans are so weak and i dont get why they dislike death :/”

tldr: don’t cut shit because even the smallest details add to the larger picture, make a cool atmosphere, paradox of safety and fear. you’re welcome

#sleipnirlo #replies #regis #the witcher netflix #this post basicaly answers the 'what are your hopes and fears for twn regis :3' wonderful question that ive gotten a bit #long post /

[cryinggameff]

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

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