#emotional conflict

[furiousgoldfish]

i hit a breaking point with my sister recently. shes only 12 but shes a preteen so of course shes a bit more work than i would expect. my parents were out the house, and i cared for her like i have for years when theyre out. i even help with my older brother, but back when he wasnt 18, when he was 17 and younger!

she got mad at me for taking too long to shower, then for "looking mean", then she yelled at me for not making her the food my mom makes.

I regret what i did but i talked back. i told her i wasnt mom, im just a girl. i tried the gentle parenting thing, even read my old parenting book i bought when i turned 11!! i still couldnt control what came out my mouth, i was cold to her. i said "fine, you don't have to like it, or me just stop fucking yelling at me like im your mom. im 16 not mama. im still a kid"

she told my parents and they didnt even know what to do, my sister WANTED me in trouble, but instead my parents just ate a silent dinner last night and tonight.

im not a mom, im just a 16 year old person trying to be a good person for the piece of intolerable idiocy of my sister. i love her, but shes so annoying.

I'm not sure what to say, you were right about saying you were a 16 year old, and not your sister's caretaker. Your parents obviously put you in a role of parenting your sister, and you tried so hard, so it's no wonder your temper ran out when all that hard work was met with unpleasantness and lack of gratitude, but this is because your parents put you in a role you were never meant to be in. You're not an adult, you're not supposed to be expected to have researched parenting and to figure out the best way to parent your sister, this is insane that they asked this of you.

What they've done is called 'parentification', and it's putting a child into a role of a parent, expecting them to have their problems figured out on their own and on top of that to care for their siblings, and sometimes even the parents themselves. This puts the immense pressure on a child to keep peace, make everyone happy, appear to have no troubles, no issues of their own, and then also so quickly grow up that they can effectively care for their siblings, have endless patience, do tasks perfectly and take on responsibilities they were not trained or developed enough to do.

You are not supposed to be burdened with all this, you're supposed to be chasing your own interests and hobbies, have free time and enjoy yourself, figure out how to fit with your own peers, have friendships and first relationships, you're not supposed to be burdened with parenting and making everyone in your house happy. You're supposed to be cared for.

So I don't think you've done anything wrong, and it is alarming that your younger sister wanted to get you in trouble - it sounds like she's already realized you're at the end of made up 'hierarchy' of who is supposed to be blamed for everything, so she took advantage to affirm that her place is above you, and that you will be punished if she isn't pleased with you - which has to be immensely painful for you, who worked so hard to try and parent your sister.

She is 12 and just absorbing whatever her environment is telling her, and I actually don't know enough about 12-year-olds to say if her actions were normal or messed up at that stage, I can tell that they hurt you and that it wasn't fair towards you.

Your parents seem to have done absolutely nothing to resolve this situation, to comfort you, or to parent their own 12 year old, which makes this even worse, to know that when you're at the end of your rope and no longer know or can do anything, that even then they will not pitch in and act like adults and resolve a painful situation, or to even comfort you after an incident. I'm really sorry you're in this situation, you shouldn't be. I know this happens a lot, people have children and then think it's an easy out just to leave to the older children to parent the younger, it's not a cool trick, it's neglect and burdening children with their own responsibilities. I hope one day you experience what it's like to be free of responsibilities like this, and to know that it's not your job to raise children you didn't have - even though in this case I understand you love your little sister and you're ready to take on a lot of burdens just to make her life easier. It's still not fair, and this burden shouldn't be put on your shoulders.

If anyone else can relate to this situation or knows some good words to say, please add to this post. I didn't have a personal experience like this, so I probably am not the best person to make comments on judgment on it, hearing other people's experiences might help.

#parentification #being expected to raise your siblings #taking on parental responsibilities as a child #emotional conflict #forcing a child to act like a parent #useless parents #child neglect #older children are still children you need to care for #not a convenience to take care of your kids

[westurn]

#why is this making me cry #why are u .. vintage p*rn... making me cry #love #emotional conflict

[quotationsworld]

He was a dangerous sin, wrapped in angelic eyes; it made my heart pound with distrust and my mind cloud with bewilderment.

— A. L. Nash

#strong feelings #deep feelings #emotional conflict #attraction #intoxicated #temptation #alluring #alluring quotes #passion #desire #forbidden desire #sin #eyes #heart #mind #distrust #bewilderment #quotes #words #spilled thoughts #spilled feelings #spilled words

[thosereblogs]

#therapy #frienship #emotional conflict #TikTok #phone dump

[ariadza-writes]

Sooner or later we have to get real. That sudden burst of honesty is a step in the emotional plot, the conflict that truly grips us.

Donald Maas, “The Emotional Craft of Fiction”

#conflict #writing emotions #emotional conflict #characterization #writeblr #writing #donald maass #the emotional craft of fiction

[drthomasmaples-blog]

Cultivating Happiness: Surfing the Paradox of Sickness and Health in the New Year

Dr. Tom explores health and sickness, good and bad feeling, and the ways opposing paradoxes integrate to drive the Self-Realization journey. #psychology #analyticalpsychology #newyear #lifecoach #newyearsresolution #stocktonca

Good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil, for richer or poorer, or in sickness and health, life presents us with a series of opposing, yet integrated themes that seem to drive our maturation journey. At the New Year, I found myself committed to health. Like many, I set a goal to be achieved, yet as soon as I put that goal out there, an underlying force seemed to throw a series of life…

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#Baggage #body #Dream #Emotional Conflict #Happiness #Health #Mental Health #mind #New Years Resolution #Paradox #Physical Health #Self Awareness #Self Realization #Sickness #spirit #Vision

[drthomasmaples]

Cultivating Happiness: Surfing the Paradox of Sickness and Health in the New Year

Dr. Tom explores health and sickness, good and bad feeling, and the ways opposing paradoxes integrate to drive the Self-Realization journey. #psychology #analyticalpsychology #newyear #lifecoach #newyearsresolution #stocktonca

Good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil, for richer or poorer, or in sickness and health, life presents us with a series of opposing, yet integrated themes that seem to drive our maturation journey. At the New Year, I found myself committed to health. Like many, I set a goal to be achieved, yet as soon as I put that goal out there, an underlying force seemed to throw a series of life…

View On WordPress

#Baggage #body #Dream #Emotional Conflict #Happiness #Health #Mental Health #mind #New Years Resolution #Paradox #Physical Health #Self Awareness #Self Realization #Sickness #spirit #Vision

[ericamnickels-writing]

Geode

Years of deposit and pressure have formed a geode around my heart. You've seen little more than the rough exterior but not for lack of trying. It's all I’ve seen as well for years though we both know there must be something inside. I've forgotten the color of the gemstones within, milky white or royal blue. Your gentle hands tried to wear down the exterior only to add sediment to the layers and it's going to take something heavy and painful to break me open. It scares me to let the crystals see the daylight, so fragile and easily broken that they are, so I built this wall of rock around them that they'll stay safe forever. Time and trial add layers that you would see if you broke it open but until I'm shattered, I can't give you my gemstones, only the solid exterior that's become so familiar to me too.

#geode #emotional detachment #emotional conflict #distance #spilled ink #amwriting #flash fiction #mystuff #introspection #Photo by Krystal Ng on Unsplash

[passiveaggressive]

We want to hear your opinion!

We want to hear your opinion!

Dear friend, It’s time to get acquainted…we know that you sometimes browse or read my postings. I’m here, trying to share ideas and experiences and some times the knowledge gained through painful experiences, those that make you grow up fast!…And I wonder about you: what are going through? what are your wishes or needs now? who do you share them with? Well, this is a conversation…so I’m inviting…

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#conflict coach #costs of emotional conflict #emotional conflict #healthy life #healthy marriage #relationships

[drthomasmaples-blog]

Cultivating Happiness: Surfing the Paradox of Sickness and Health in the New Year

Good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, life presents us with a series paradoxes. Dr. Tom Explores How to Cultivate Happiness and Advance Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams!

Good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil, for richer or poorer, or in sickness and health, life presents us with a series of opposing, yet integrated themes that seem to drive our maturation journey. At the New Year, I found myself committed to health. Like many, I set a goal to be achieved, yet as soon as I put that goal out there, an underlying force seemed to throw a series of life…

View On WordPress

#Baggage #body #Dream #Emotional Conflict #Happiness #Health #Mental Health #mind #New Years Resolution #Paradox #Physical Health #Self Awareness #Self Realization #Sickness #spirit #Vision

[drthomasmaples]

Cultivating Happiness: Surfing the Paradox of Sickness and Health in the New Year

Good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, life presents us with a series paradoxes. Dr. Tom Explores How to Cultivate Happiness and Advance Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams!

Good and bad, right and wrong, holy and evil, for richer or poorer, or in sickness and health, life presents us with a series of opposing, yet integrated themes that seem to drive our maturation journey. At the New Year, I found myself committed to health. Like many, I set a goal to be achieved, yet as soon as I put that goal out there, an underlying force seemed to throw a series of life…

View On WordPress

#Baggage #body #Dream #Emotional Conflict #Happiness #Health #Mental Health #mind #New Years Resolution #Paradox #Physical Health #Self Awareness #Self Realization #Sickness #spirit #Vision

[luminarily]

Am I supposed to rip acomaf apart or hug it?

No seriously I'm rlly conflicted rn

#acomaf #a court of mist and fury #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #emotional conflict

[ericamnickels-writing]

Nomad

There is no home for a nomad. No commitment, no danger of loss can bring anxiety to my heart. Nothing waits for me to come, disappointed when I don't show my face at nightfall. There is nothing to lose in a fire that consumes all and nothing to fear leaving behind when the call for evacuation comes. I cut no tie because there is no rope to hold me down, only the rope I use to tie my few belongings to my back. They may be meager and you think I could have so much more if I only had a home in which to keep them. You are right that I could have a home and I could collect my treasures and display them on shelves where they would be safe to gleam like gold. Instead, I keep only what I carry and those possessions are scratched, worn, and road-weary. They have been broken and repaired countless times and used every day to the extent of their function as they are the only tools I keep, no elaborate chest held in the basement for when they're needed. I may stay in one place for a while, but the structure I built to keep me warm holds no part of me when I pack up to leave, only a shell and a structure, bare bones and sinew, no heart to feel remorse. I'm sorry you met me there, during one of my frequent stops to rest, and thought you'd build your home next to mine. You invested, sold your own possessions to build that house that will not move with you. I've already stuck around longer than I said I would and the distant sunrise calls my name again to leave. I could stay, just like you want me to, but who I am stays strapped to my back and the horizon knows not how to leave me alone. There is no home for a nomad because home is all I am and it comes with me where I wander.

#spilled ink #amwriting #flash fiction #emotional conflict #detachment #mystuff #introspection #friend #miracle #im sorry #Photo by Amanda Sandlin on Unsplash