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galedekarios · 3 months

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Gale headcanons go! :]

thank you for your ask. i'm sorry it took this long to get around to it. my mind blanked.

i want to add that these are solely my own headcanons and just that. nothing more. if you have a different opinion, that's valid. i'm not here to argue or debate about it.

anyhow, these aren't in any particular order, just writing as i think of them:

-gale was clean-shaven before the orb and being discarded by mystra. his hair has outgrown its original style as well. this is the reason why tara hates gale's beard, even when felines usually like to rub their faces against them.

-while gale has enchanted the piano in his tower to play by itself, he can and does play himself when the mood takes him.

-gale doesn't truly get jealous or possessive. he skips that step and slips right into questioning himself and feeling sad/insecure.

-gale tends to overthink, he struggles with anxiety and feeling overwhelmed esp after the orb, but has found methods that help him deal with these feelings and bring them under some form of control to examine them ("please, i need to think... i need to retrace my steps to a glade of calm and think.")

-he cries at his wedding & struggles through his vows

-he never takes off his wedding ring

-while he is very much an acts of service person in a relationship, he learns to accept and love being taken care of and doted on by his partner

-gale is very much able to find beauty in the mundane and simple things of life: beautiful flowers in a garden, the way the light falls at sunset, the sound of rain tapping against the window, the fresh salty sea breeze in the morning, a warm cup of expensive tea, a beautiful piece of art, a touching poem

-he often prefers walking home with his partner after work instead of using portals or teleportation. it allows him to talk about both of their days and show his partner things about the city he loves so very much. it also allows him to clear his head after a long day.

-his spellbook has pages that look like this:

when tara has decided that nagging him to stop working didn't cut it anymore.

-speaking of: gale gets so absorbed into his work and research that he skips both sleep and meals

-after his long isolation and depression, struggling with orb and being affected by it physically, gale is quite slender/willowy (tara has several lines reminding him to eat and take care of himself in an origin run) with a soft stomach and no muscle definition

-he's ~175 cm

-he's touch-starved

-while he does like to cook for others, he doesn't tolerate anyone helping him with the task. he will however appreciate it if his partner cooked for him.

-his tower now is quite barren, except for his extensive book collection, having consumed most magical artefacts he owned

-after his return to waterdeep, he likes to fill it with little things he has collected over time. the space is healing as much as he is.

-gale still suffers from chronic pain flare-ups, even after the orb is gone/calmed

-he likes it when things (fabrics, clothes, pens, books, etc etc etc) are well made and of high quality, but not necessarily ostentatious

-he has an eclectic taste, sort of imparted on him by morena's own

-his father abandoned him and morena

-gale is extremely open-minded and accepting, and will entertain almost any and all thoughts and opinions as long as they are well argued for / follow a sound logic

-while he's not easily spooked or scared given how diverse and open waterdeep is, nothing quite managed to prepare him for the things he would see during the journey to cure himself and the others of the tadpole. his knowledge was mostly academic, save for the stray unfortunate death slaad encounter. he works through these things by compartmentalising. writing them down, examining them and going over them in his mind.

-he hopes that he and the friends he's made on this journey will stay close. he writes them regularly and is elated when he receives a reply himself, but will need encouragement and reassurance to organise a get-together in waterdeep.

-his biggest flaw is not hubris or the ambition in the pursuit of knowledge he held as a chosen, his biggest flaw is his sense of worth as gale dekarios, the imperfectly perfect human being, the person behind the titles and accomplishments and perceived failures and insecurities

-he still has to realise what truly happened in his 'relationship' with mystra and still has a lot of healing to do after the game ends

-in the early stages of his relationship with his partner, he's very willing to please/tolerate, at times sadly to the detriment of his own preferences (drow twin scene)

-while he takes compliments in stride, he still likes and appreciates word of affirmation and praise; his partner insulting or degrading him would wound him deeply

-while he wouldn't be a father himself, he would be perfectly happy to be the eccentric uncle. yet even so and while he does love it, he would need time to recharge his social batteries after / recover from the overstimulation that being around children for a prolonged amount of time brings.

-gale's magic is a second nature to him and he likes using it even for the many mundane things, turning the page of a book, getting a spice from a high shelf, etc

-he's a born sorcerer with a wizard's education

-after settling in waterdeep with his partner, he lets his hair grow out more

-while easily lost in his work and research, gale is extremely thoughtful about anniversaries or birthdays, always striving to find the perfect gift

-he likes reading to his partner or being read to & discussing it, exchanging thoughts and opinions

-it's canon that he does write poetry, i like to imagine he'd sometimes leave little haiku-esque verses for his partner

i'm sure i have more, but they escape me right now so. 🖤

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav #tav x gale #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: asks

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ilys00ga · 3 months

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𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀.

➞ pair: yoongi x reader.

➞ genre: hurt/comfort (why do I keep making these lmao), established relationships, I'm so bad at tagging sorry.

➞ warnings: angst and fluff cuz we all need that (we really do). reader has anxiety and abandonment issues, yoongi is trying his best for the sake of both of them, just relationship things.

➞ A/N: requested by @parkjennykim, this was very fun to write! thanks for yet another idea <3 I hope u like it. I'm organizing this blog/post (?) while listening to mono, and let me tell yall, it's such a vibe omg. I think you should read this while listening to that album, I love it sm, I can't even begin to explain UGH- if namjoon ever goes on a world tour, he better perform every single song in that album, cuz imma be losing my mind in the crowd, esp during moonchild. my vocal cords are already getting sore. yeah. if u want this to hit that spot, maybe u should do what I said (this is a friendly order, if u will). if not, just enjoy and pls ignore any mistakes, english has been challenging me recently (for the last 10 years lmao)

ps. I am in a dire need of a yoongi in my life. specifically the one I wrote in this one. oh how I love being a lonely fanfic writer <33

★ MASTERLIST.

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

God knows how long it had been after it hit midnight when Yoongi stood in the kitchen. His eyes were red and heavy with drowsiness, but he couldn't sleep that night.

How does one sleep through a restless, biting night?

Surely not with a bad headache, or overflowing thoughts, and especially not with guilt chewing on his core.

He gulped, throat begging to be quenched as it held onto a slight, delicious, yet bothersome burning sensation. He opened the fridge and filled a glass with some water, raising it to his lips when loud a cry of his name, followed with a thud and a number of sobs, disturbed the quiet of the night and made him jump, startled.

His limbs froze in their place, glass almost slipping his hand and crashing on the floor when his sleep deprived brain realized that the muffled cries were yours.

Wide awake, he dashed after the sound. Thirst and sleep no longer occupied his mind, all he could think of was holding you in his arms.

He found you on the stairs, trembling as you wailed into your hands.

He hated it so much: seeing you in pain. He wanted nothing more than to shield you from the rainfall of your gloomy sky, from his own rainfall, from the world. How could one be an umbrella and the rain at once?

He blinked, once, twice, then gulped and heaved a deep, tired breath.

One storm doesn’t require another storm to be calmed down, that he knew. One needs to be composed and collected to stand still during a storm, that he knew as well.

With worried eyes, he gently called out your name and walked up to you, “darling, what’s wrong?”

You looked up as soon as you heard his worried voice, some tiny sense of relief washed over you when you saw him right there. A hundred daggers digged so deep into his heart and bones, aching, the moment a broken whimper of his name fell from your lips.

Without a second thought, Yoongi hugged your face to his chest. One of his hands was patting your back and the other affectionately caressed your head.

As he listened to his name that never left your lips, Yoongi held you there on the cold of the stairs with nothing but sweet nothings whispered back to your ears.

Everything he did and said was so gentle and soft, like he was so afraid you'd crack and come to tiny bits and pieces at any given moment. It all made you want to cry even harder, to hold him so tight and never let go.

Soon, when your tears started winding down, pulled away and cradled your face with his hands, palms faintly pressing on your cheeks as if he hoped to share their warmth with you.

Tender eyes met your wet ones and stared as their owner’s voice made its way through the noise of your sniffles and hiccups. He said, “It’s alright. I'm here. Talk to me, hmm?”

You answered his plea with a small nod, before wiping your tear stained skin and hugging him again. He smelt like home. You took a deep breath, greedily feeding your lungs with his lovely scent.

He hugged you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your body closer to his. He pressed light kisses on your temple, patiently waiting for you to talk.

“I had a really scary nightmare. so, so scary- I woke up, didn’t find you there- then…then I remembered the fight we had earlier. I…I thought I lost you- I'm sorry. sorry for the stupid things I said earlier. I love you so much! please don’t leave. please..”

Your voice quivered with fresh tears ready to be spilled again. Yoongi started hushing you as soon as he noticed that you were working yourself up.

Squeezing you in his arms, he whispered “I never left, and I never will.”

“I’m all right, nothing happened to me, see?” he leaned away just enough to allow you to take a quick look at his body, then added, “a stupid fight is not going to make me leave. I love you way too much for that, and I'm sorry for hurting you too.”

He could still read fear and uncertainty all over your face, and he didn't like that. He knew that you trusted him, and he didn't doubt your love for him.

At first, he didn't get it. He didn't understand the insecurities, the anxiety and the nightmares you suffered from especially after the inevitably worst of arguments that happened between you and him. But after longer and deeper talks, with you expressing your feelings and him listening with careful ears, it made much more sense to him.

Sometimes he hated himself for triggering your alarms and making it harder for you, but he knew it was neither his fault nor was it yours.

Growth and pain are two key elements that come arm in arm with love, and fights are an unpreventable part of any kind of relationship. For all that, he always ended up blaming himself for making you question your worth to him when he can't even sleep without you happily cuddling his side.

Softly, lovingly, he started prepping tender kisses over your cheeks, nose, forehead, chin, temples, all over your flushed face.

It worked like watching waving fields of green wheat dancing with the wind, your storm started to slowly die down and your heart felt at ease again. slowly, but definitely.

Smiling ever so affectionately, Yoongi sealed his reassurance with a loving kiss that consumed you whole, and it left the corners of your mouth curving up in a dazzling smile. You nuzzled his chest and sighed.

“I really hate fighting with you.” you mumbled into his clothed chest, drained and light headed from all the crying and nearly-a-panic-attack you went through.

“I know, I'm sorry. I hate it too." he whispered back.

There was a pause of comfortable silence, with both of you breathing each other in, before he wondered aloud: “did you fall down the stairs? are you okay?”

You chuckled breathily at his question, recalling the hysteria he had to deal with just a few minutes ago. But Yoongi was there, right beside you. your arms were tightly wrapped around his torso, right by your side.

He had some kind of exceptionally irrepressible magic in those fierce eyes and that gummy smile of his, you inarguably couldn’t be more grateful for that.

“I'm alright. Was too busy crying, I didn’t even feel a thing to be honest.” you said, and he giggled.

“I love when you’re clumsy like that, but please be more careful, muffin. Can’t have you hurting yourself because of me even more." Even with your face buried into the crook of his neck, you could feel and hear the heavy pout in that comment.

Huffing, you leaned away with furrowed brows and a strict gaze. Yoongi gulped. Hesitation took over him, yet he knew that honesty is the only thing that must be present to drive this conversation to an end.

Honestly brings clarity, he found himself reminding himself of that very often.

"as long as we take care of each other, it's okay. I love you." you affirmed, and perhaps Yoongi almost teared up because of the way you looked at him right then and there. He wouldn't utter a word to spoil that information out loud, though.

The shy grin and the flushed cheeks you were met with were worth risking the entire world and its eight billion residents. You couldn't help but smile and pull him into another hug.

"This is great and all, but my butt is numbed. I think there's no blood flowing down there anymore," he said, his heart swooning when you giggled at his humorous change of topic, so relieved that he was finally able to hear your brightness again.

"Let's go back to rest, darling." He stood up, grabbed your hand and squeezed it in his, then gently pulled your body up and dragged you to your shared bedroom, where everything and everyone else meant little to nothing at all as you laid in each other's arms.

#yoongi x reader #yoongi #bts #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #bts scenarios #bts yoongi #yoongi angst #hurt/comfort #suga fluff #bts fluff #suga angst #suga fic #abandoment issues #bts imagines #bts fic

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777rare · 1 year

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☀️ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.2💥

disclaimer :

DO NOT READ FURTHUR IF YOU ARE A MINOR!!

THIS CONTAINS MENTIONING OF seggs and bad words so please scroll if ur below 18+

THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.

I DO NOT PILRIMIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN

Mercury in 1st house natives are very talkative beings lmao🙊

Mars in fixed signs(AQUARIUS,LEO,TAURUS,SCORPIO) won't take anybodys shit no matter what..if somebody ain't treating em right, they're always ready to fight back

Mars in cardinal signs(CAPRICORN,CANCER,LIBRA,ARIES) can control their temper and toleration levels when somebody's acting all shitty but when they can't take it anymore, you're done for.

Mars in mutable signs (PISCES,GEMINI,SAGITTARIUS,VIRGO) will most of the time tolerate ur shit and get pissed off internally. They won't show it although they do sometimes, its mostly always internal. suppressed anger and frustration.

Apollo-venus/neptune folks are very admiring. Apollo-venus/ 8th house people are charming and alluring whereas apollo-neptune/ 12th house people have ethereal or outwardly beauty. Apollo aspecting ascendant are attractive too. Ex: alexia demie has Apollo quintile venus, zendaya has Apollo in 8th house.

Adams-sun/moon/asc/Mc natives have a very masculine character or mascular body in a man's chart ex: Chris evans has Adam's trine sun, Dwayne Johnson has Adam's sextile moon.

people with aura/ascendant in harsh aspects with moon(esp. Square) could mean people sense ur aura/ energy to be "too emotional" or "cold ass bitch" vibe. the tension in these aspects can also manifest according to the placements, degrees and other aspects.

natives with sirene conjunct jupiter could have such a raw seducing energy and lots n lots of it by the way! They tend to have a very mysterious,sexy,alluring touch to them. its like they have this "cremé dé lá cremé" persona blended in them..it's just so fucking hot..I also feel these natives catch too much attention sometimes even when they don't intend on trying to catch anyone's attention. It can sometimes get really annoying for them too.

In your varuna persona chart usually I feel the native is born to gain world wide fame if their sun/moon conjunct asteroid varuna.

Melete-chiron/sun/moon/asc harsh aspects tend to become victims of anxiety disorders, panic attacks. Check the houses and signs to get more insight as well. Ex: zendaya has melete semi square moon and sesquiquadrate ascendant

Lacrimosa in 12th house natives emotions gets overwhelming when they're in bed or at night. These people could feel overwhelmed with grief and sadness at times and cry themselves to sleep

chiron in aquarius/ 11th house, can show a native getting severely wounded or experiencing trauma, anxiety, grief because of online platforms, social media, technology, anything techno like phones,laptops etc.also these natives never have good, honest friendships. It's always fake friends and getting cheated or left out by friends. These natives should be very careful when it comes to making friends as well. Ex: I have this placement and when I was 10 yrs old, my closest friend food poisoned me. still don't know why.

Saturn-venus natives are beautiful but it's somewhat of an energy that's sleeping in them or yet to sprout. These natives need to put in some self love and work to glow up, especially showing themselves love.these natives tend to dislike the way they look or always try to find some flaw in themselves but their beauty will truly shine only when they begin to love themselves and work on themselves more. (Esp. Harsh aspects)

Virgo lilith natives have a very reserved sex appeal. These people tend to be very picky and minimalistic when it comes to their sexual partners.people most of the time assume these natives to have less knowledge about sex but deep down these natives are just crazy internally. You'll know it when you meet a virgo lilith native.🤠💫Aspects and houses can differ too.

I feel like asteroids in special degrees 11°, 22°,0° also have a really strong or special effect on the native.

sun-mercury natives always look younger than their age. The native can also be very childish even after ageing so much.

Planets in Scorpio sign or where your scorpio is placed is where you keep things hidden, out of reach from others or have deep information about. Thats why when scorpio falls on someones ascendant they are seen as very mysterious and secretive. Ex: I have scorpio over 8th house and i keep my sexual life hidden(8H= sex,money,etc), my brother has scorpio in 3rd house and he knows a lot about my past than my mom, and also about the people in our neighborhood(3H= siblings,neighbours), my mother has scorpio moon so she does hide her emotions a lot. My sister has scorpio jupiter and she does lots and lots of researching and has a lot of knowledge about books and countries that most of the people don't know about.not even me🙂.

Pallas-ascendant(positive aspects) natives look wise and mature

Lots of planets aspecting to chiron can show a native who has been wounded so so many times in their life.

Sokrates conjunct neptune or in pisces/scorpio/ in 8th/12th house natives love deep conversations.they hate small talk and just wanna go so so deep.

Pallas conjunct neptune natives have so much spiritual wisdom.

Tone-pluto natives tend to have a raspy,deep touch to their voice.

Asteroids mentioned above :

apollo - 1862

Adams- 1996

Aura - 1488

Sirene - 1009

Varuna - 20000

Melete - 56

Lacrimosa - 208

Feel free to reblog and tag me when you do❤🙌🏻 Hope you all enjoyed. Thankyou.bye!❤ have a great day ahead!🏝☀️

#spiritualawakening #spirituality #spiritual enlightenment #witch community #witchery #astroblr #astro posts #astrology #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology community #astro community #natal chart

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genderkoolaid · 10 months

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i think the reason why a lot of queer trans men, esp nb/gq ones, are attached to the "butch" label is because the popular narrative of trans men is not just heterosexual but in a painfully square way. it depicts (overwhelmingly white) masculine men who want to date a pretty feminine straight girl and have two kids and a picket fence. and thats not inherently bad, but like...

for me, being butch is, above all else, genderqueer masculinity that people do not want me to have. i am attracted to women, and i am a woman, but being butch is not just "masculine sapphic woman." its about capturing the pain of being masculine/male in an unacceptable & unacceptably queer way. butch identity & butch aesthetics communicate a masculine gender identity that refuses to conform, & thats true even if you aren't attracted to women at all!

theres a need to soothe cissexist/exorsexist anxiety around butchness, to heal the genderqueerness by reducing it to solely "what some straight men do before they realize they Normal Straight Men" or "Womanly Women being masculine but in a Woman Way." but butchness has always been a genderqueer space. i refuse to resolve my identity into discrete maleness and lesbianness and womanness to make people comfortable! no not all butches want to be men. but sometimes its more about rejecting cishet manhood than manhood itself. butchhood can be own kind of manhood, especially when you are excluded from it otherwise. you can either swallow butch trans*ness or choke on it.

#m.

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yongislong · 1 year

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back scratching + dreamies.

genre: fluff AAAAGH, suggestive? i can never tell lmao nonidol!dreamies

note: no cws just tooth rotting fluff, tysm for requesting anon! i hope you enjoy this... word vomit pfft. not proofread im studying GAHH

mark... adores it when you scratch his back. never knows how to ask for it though HAHA. melts every time you do it. especially likes it when you do it to him before bed or as a way to let him know that the sun has risen. its one of the moments in your relationship that is most intimate if that makes sense? he finds comfort in sitting in silence with you after a long day, as the scratching noises break through the silence in your shared room :")

renjun... is so ticklish. honestly prefers to do it to you but he cant help but curl into your side whenever you scratch his back even if he's practically convulsing under you from how much it tickles. will flat out ask you to do it, but he always needs to be in a specific mood since it doesn't happen often! usually asks for it on days where he's been hunched over his computer for a long time and his back is in more pain than usual

jeno... human cat fr. LOVES it when you do it especially if you have longer nails. he feels recharged and it always helps him fall asleep so fast. if you wear fake nails OH MY GOSH he will never ever stop asking you to rub his back, its become a nightly routine after the first time. he will do it to you sometimes but he always falls asleep so quickly that it bothers you pft, his dead weight lands on your back when its only been 10 minutes. likes it when you scratch his abdomen too. just likes feeling your nails rake over his soft skin

haechan... makes it a game LOL. has you write words on his back and he takes his turns trying to guess the phrase you wrote or guess the letters you're tracing. gets SO excited when he guesses right and pulls you in closer. asks for it without words. will always rest his body on your lap and you know that's your cue to get to scratching. the biggest content smile is plastered on his face, even in his sleep! likes it when you scratch closer towards the small of his back since thats where most of his pain is, or so he says lol

jaemin... so so so kind my babygirl. it kinda just happens. he's resting his head on your chest and his big broad shoulders are in perfect view, its kinda hard not to scratch his back esp when he sleeps with no shirt on. so tempting. his skin is so soft and he MELTSS. also likes to play games with you, especially one night when you traced a heart on his back and his pulse SOARED. makes it a point to grab your wrist and tuck your hand under his shirt or drape it along his bare shoulders whenever he wants it from you. also falls asleep really fast. ticklish around the waist OOP

chenle... wake him up with back scratches PLEASE. i feel like he ends up facing away from you during his sleep so in the morning, raking your fingers up and down his spine softly jolts him awake and its so cute. always acts like its his first time on earth when he wakes up btw LMAO. enjoys it so much. prefers if you use your finger tips because he gets itchy whenever you use your nails HAHA. he's so domestic though. he acts like an old man who's been with you for years. grumbles about how nice your fingers feel until his rant is cut short by his snoring

jisung... god he is so. that boy is a Child. truly the most genuinely nice and pure soul. if you were to ever scratch his back, i think you would feel how he would physically sink into the mattress or couch. has never had a partner before so is pretty timid about asking for back scratches but he really really enjoys them. always insists that he return the favor though! clings to you like a koala. makes it a point to make this a ritual since he finds such fun in it. helps him calm down on nights where his anxiety or nightmares are bad. can't help but get flustered every time you dip your palm under the collar of his shirt

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pineappleciders · 1 year

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heyy first of all its me the fucked up dream anon (now going by dream anon how original) second of all ive decided im going to learn about south park purely through your work so can i get some tweek (ive latched onto that boy) and whoever else you want (probably the main boys) with a reader (all platonic ofc) who's got that #anxiety? thanks even if you dont do it <33

🌌🌟/dream anon

main 4 + tweek with a reader who has anxiety; platonic headcanons

A/N: haii :3 i apologize if this like, distorts your vision of the characters or something. i am so glad you are being converted to the religion of tweek!!!!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety disorders, light mental health topics, paranoia, panic/anxiety attacks, death mention on kennys part

stan marsh

i think stan has a normal amount of anxiety. like he's so regular. he's your average joe

like he gets anxious over tests, and giving speeches, and over wendy. other than that he doesn't experience it to the extent of a disorder

so it might be a little difficult for him to imagine getting anxious over simple things like ordering food and stuff like that

he'll try his best to listen though, although he'll probably try to kinda reason with you, esp if you're feeling paranoid or something

"dude, i checked twice, it's locked. relax, man."

he'll try to distract you, by playing games and watching stuff, and just generally kinda trying to be funny to take your mind off of things

if you're having a panic/anxiety attack, he kinda panics too at first, before quickly pulling you away and asking what's wrong. he is sweating very hard

if you're unresponsive, he tries to stay calm but is honestly considering calling an ambulance. like he thinks you're having a stroke

"shit, a panic attack? uh, okay, errr.... take deep breaths, okay? in.. and out. in.. and out. okay, that's good.."

he looks up grounding techniques on his phone and relays them to you until you calm down and catch your breath. he like sends you images off of google of the 5 senses technique randomly and says he figured you'd need it someday

he tries to keep your anxiety in mind, and might slip up sometimes, but for the most part he tries to be careful with his words and actions as to not worry you. he shows his care in subtle ways!!

kyle broflovski

he tries to kinda. logic it out a bit. like if you're feeling insecure he tells you how unrealistic it is for someone to think about one random passerby's appearance forever

he does feel bad though. he doesn't completely understand, but whenever he's feeling insecure he tends to get really anxious about people at school

he usually gets anxious whenever he's doing something wrong or sneaking out. like he's actually sweating and shitting his pants thinking about what his mom will do to him if she finds out

he'll encourage you to order food for yourself, to get yourself out there more, and if you succeed he'll pat your shoulder and smile a lil

if you don't want to, he might dramatically sigh but he'll do it anyways. cuz he knows how hard it is

i do think he'd get a little anxious about asking workers for help and stuff, but he'll be the bigger person... he supposes... smh my head...

when you have an panic attack for the first time, he's like really confused and gets super concerned that you're having a heart attack, and pulls his phone out to dial your parents or 911

"i'm here for you dude! listen- hey, listen to me. it's okay. can- can you-"

he tries to talk to you to de-escalate it, but he gives up and has his hand on your back, while looking up what the fuck to do

'friend havign panjc atgack what to do'

if you're okay with it, he probably talks to your parents about it. he doesn't really trust himself to be able to always calm you down, so he encourages getting outside/professional help

he does try though, and he'll always be there for you in different ways!! like when you need help with something or just need company to distract you, he's at ur door with his xbox 360

eric cartman

you can tell that eric gets a little uncomfortable if you're freaking out or feeling anxious. whether it's because he actually feels bad or just doesn't know how to handle your emotions, you'll never know

but either way, he'll probably just like. sit next to you like "dude, what's up with you?" or in other cases he'll sneakily slip out of the room unseen

he does try to be kinda logical about it, but that's solely because he physically can't speak words of comfort.

"i mean, dude, be seriously. nobody cares about you that much to notice." you speak such kind words eric!!

he doesn't really like it when things get serious, so he'll generally try to transition the situation into something more casual. like he'll try to ease your (his) mood by getting snacks and playing games together, or even begging his mom to take you both to KFC

if you have a panic attack, all of his alarms are blaring and his brain is screaming flight!!!!! flight!!!! run the fuck away!!!!

and he probably tries to, but when you notice him and call his name he physically deflates

he awkwardly turns around and slowly strolls over. "Y/N... heeeeeeey... what's up... duuude..." you can hear the strain in his voice

if it gets to be too much, as in you won't stop hyperventilating or can't breathe, he'll probably alert an adult or take you to the nurse or something. he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a suspect of your death

if ur having trouble ordering food he'll gladly take ur place and make a scene to get all eyes on him. "erm excuthe me they athed for no pickleth🤓"

other than when you're voicing your anxiety, he probably treats you the same. i don't really think he'd take advantage of your anxiety unless you were like. butters or heidi or something and he was really trying to get you to do something for him or just trying to. stick himself in your mind. because he's a narcissist and he loves that!!

kenny mccormick

he doesn't relate necessarily, but he definitely understands.

he lives a lot of his life in fear of his next death, and is constantly praying it be quick and painless

kenny is more of a reserved fella, but not really shy or anxious. so if you're having trouble speaking up or ordering something he'll step up and do it gladly!!

i think he'd be pretty decent at comforting. like he'll pat his hand on your back and speak assuring, muffled words

"mm, mmph mmph mmmph! mmph mph mph mmmfmf mmf mph mph mmph!" (aww, it'll be okay. i'll walk you every step of the way, buddy!)

he tries to take your emotions into consideration more, and grabs your hand and squeezes it sometimes if you need a boost of confidence. sometimes he forgets your anxiety and says something rude and feels really bad about it

when you're having a panic attack, he's honestly really scared and expects you to start foaming at the mouth or something

he'll hesitate, but he'll pat your back and try to help you with grounding techniques. the 5-4-3-2-1 in particular is his favorite, and he'll tell you how to do it in like a rlly sweet and calming voice

he's still spooked though, and gets you a water bottle and like a washcloth. he's incredibly thankful you aren't dying or anything

kenny is very good at comforting! sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of eye contact and seeing his eyes crinkle that gives you a surge of calmness you didn't know you needed

tweek tweak

tweek is no outsider to anxiety and stress. he's literally a living beehive with all that damn vibrating

to anyone else, it would seem like tweek had a severe anxiety disorder, or even ADHD. but it turns out it's just a result of his crippling meth addiction and caffiene overdoses

he tries to think about what craigs taught him, about grounding techniques and how to handle a panic attack, and tries to apply those for you

he's shakily take your hand and wrap you in a blanket, making you hot cocoa and helping you slowly come back to your senses

"okay, okay, what are 5 things you can touch? or- no- AGH! was it 5 things you see- hear? no, ACK! i can't remember!"

most of the time if you're feeling on-edge about something, his main goal will be to just listen to you talk and validate your feelings. he doesn't really make it a point to give you advice or try to be logical, unless you directly ask for it

he's great at listening!!! he also doesn't trust his own advice enough to say it to someone else.

he really tries to think hard about what comforts him when he's anxious, and so he tries to use the tactics for you. for instance, he tries to help you get into a hobby like painting to have a bit more control over yourself

hc that tweek loves to draw with crayons so he'll make little drawings of you and him as stick figures being all happy and give them to you. as a treat

overall he is very attentive, and cares a lot. he tries his very best to be there for you, and a lot of the time that results in you two just hanging out or gaming together, so you can both get your mind off of things for a while. it makes him happy to be able to be there for someone else like craig was for him

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therobotmonster · 9 months

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So many kid's toys these days just. Arn't fun. They're designed to be COLLECTED rather than PLAYED with. Everything is a fucking blindbag. Materials are flimsy and cheap and designs don't hold up to an actual child throwing them around. And it's all so EXPENSIVE, even accounting for inflation.

To expand on my thoughts here, I'm unrolling a Twitter thread I made about this trend. (with some additions)

The Big H's handling of mainline figs is... distressing, of late. Very little push for show mains, oversupport of already saturated legacy characters, and some frankly unsettling engineering and materials choices (esp in Cyberverse).

Increase in overall fragility, thinner parts, styrene-on-styrene joints that will go floppy in a few months of light play, very little "clicks" or locks solidly... the passion is clearly in the collector's end, and that's just bass ackwards.

This repugnus would have been amazing triumph from Mego in 1970s. But for a mainline big H TF line in the 2020s? This is a backslide. And before anyone brings up that it's from the kids' line, that's the point. They're KIDS, they should get MORE care and effort in their merch.

Every toy you make might be a kid's only birthday gift or holiday present. Toys are /given/ to children, and if the work is subpar, you make a chump out of grandma. You won't be there to blame if it breaks or disappoints.

It seriously drives me nuts seeing how far the stuff-for-kids industries have fallen. There's no brands without the work, but as the poet DMX said: "these cats done forgot what work is."

All your blockbuster superhero empires start in the pulp gutters. Compared to the movies toys, games and comics will never be profitable ENOUGH to be worth it on a billion-dollar scale ledger.

"Give me mighty oaks! There's no profit in acorns!"

If you want the stuff that makes the Michael Bay blockbuster, you have to start with the stupid goofy cartoon no one had seen before where anxiety over the oil crisis was acted out by robotic Punch and Judy puppets. How many studios would greenlight TMNT or TF sight unseen today?

If you make toys and cartoons and video games, your job is to make kids happy. How is that not sacred? If anything is sacred it should be that.

Art is the act of evoking emotion, and fun is an emotion (what else could it be described as?) and it is SO IMPORTANT.

I fear that gets lost in the "what to do over next?" rush. Every artist at those companies has a dozen amazing ideas in their back pocket that won't get a chance to become the next Transformers because a studio is terrified they'll make Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors instead.

Since the world is run by Captain Planet villains, I wouldn't bat an eye if we found out venture capital was a ploy by some disgruntled warlock who just hates the goddamn Care Bears.

Just some dick at Bear Sterns singing "There's no room for joy on a spreadsheet" to a weaselly sidekick.

Cuz guys, we've got companies that make GAMES for CHILDREN hiring the Pinkertons. I repeat. Games. For. Children. That's not normal. That's not a normal thing. That is a very disturbing thing.

And its hard to even discuss without sounding like a frickin' Care Bear myself. Because how do you sum up the creeping dread that the support beams are being mined thin, and everything fun for kids will go the way of Toys-R-Us, dragged down like Artax.

I'm not advocating pure altruism here. There's plenty of money to be made giving kids an awesome experience. It's investing in future fandom. Real Brand loyalty. If you want the blockbuster 15 years from now, get them hooked on the fun cartoon now. The value-add always pays off.

For every Transformers or He-Man there's going to be several Robotix-es or Power Lords. That's a risk. A risk worth taking. New ideas should be easier and cheaper to bring to fruition now than ever. But the system won't let it happen.

#toy design #cut corners #enshittification #80s nostalgia #hasbro #transformers

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crystallizedtwilight · 5 months

Note

When at formal events, does Lock have social anxiety/awkwardness? If so, why?

Below the cut! + answers to similar questions

Definitely, Lock feels very awkward at formal events, and not just because he’s uncomfortable in formal wear, but because he feels like he doesn’t really fit into these scenarios.

He has a very “us vs the world” attitude about Shock and Barrel and “we don’t need anyone else to have fun” so to willingly step into a situation where he is surrounded by many people and expected to be on his ‘best behavior’ doesn’t suit him well.

And (most of all) since these settings are unfamiliar to him, there is a MUCH higher chance that he’ll embarrass himself, which is the last thing he ever wants to do, so he usually hangs close to one or both of his friends for the whole evening.

Yes, Barrel knows. Day-to-day Barrel assures Lock, in small ways and gestures, that he is liked and wanted. At formal events, Barrel does what he can to make Lock comfortable if it's an event they can't leave, and if it's one they can spare, he gets him out of there.

Bad. He's not a fan of formal wear in general because he thinks it makes him look silly. And even when people genuinely compliment him in his formal attire he just thinks they're trying to make fun of him.

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lostin-thesos · 11 months

Text

Mami? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry

Neron "Creeper" Vargas x AFAB!Reader

Summary: You find our you’re pregnant in a fairly interesting way.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy symptoms (esp. vomiting), mentions and slight descriptions of anxiety/panic attack, slight language/cursing

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: No use of y/n or pronouns, but given the context they do have a uterus, but that is it. Oh and some feminine nicknames.

Multiple text notifications back-to-back were what woke you up. You still couldn’t figure out if it was your or Creeper’s phone. In all honesty you did not have the energy to check. If it was important, they could wait a few more minutes. You felt your boyfriend’s side of the bed but found it empty. Another round a ‘pings’ caused you to groan because it was your phone. You blindly searched for it on your bedside table and sleepily checked who was blowing up your phone so early.

The answer was the bar girls groupchat. They were all talking about today’s plans to make tamales. It had been decided that it would be fun to have at Nail’s baby shower. You were getting together today so they would be ready for the party tomorrow. This was the first time they were doing something like this and needless to say a few of the girls were excited. Right now, you were somewhat regretting agreeing to help. Only because you hated being woken up this early. It was a small price to pay to ensure that the tamales would finish cooking at a decent hour. According to the texts everyone was already at the clubhouse, except you and Jess. This info had you scrambling out of bed and frantically getting dressed. You sent a quick reply saying you’d be there in a bit and headed to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast.

Creeper was watching in the living room eating a niño envuelto (Mexican Swiss roll) with his coffee. As quietly as you could, you crept up to him to try and grab his food. Just as you were reaching to grab it, he shoved the rest in his mouth. You playfully smacked his arm and called him a cabrón. He huffed before silently lifting his coffee to offer you a sip. The second the smell hit your nose a wave of nausea washed over you. You gagged a little before covering your nose and backed away from the couch. Neron was quick to move the cup away and placed it on the coffee table.

He apologized. “Shit. Sorry, Mami. I forgot coffee has been messing with you.”

After you no longer felt like puking, you reassured him. “It’s okay, babe, really. I didn’t even get sick this time.”

You squeezed his shoulder before heading to the kitchen to find some breakfast. You felt him watching you to make sure that you were actually good. His concern was comforting and valid because recently your nose had been extra sensitive. All it took was a decent whiff of certain odors to send you running to the bathroom. This sensitivity seemed to pop up out of nowhere and you were hoping it would pass soon.

Once your cinnamon tea was finished brewing, you joined Neron in the living room. You sat on the opposite end and stretched out to rest your feet on one of his thighs. Instinctively his arm came off the back of the couch and loosely grabbed your ankle. His thumb absently rubbed the patch of skin above your socks, while you sat there eating and lightly chatting. You filled him in on how the girls woke you up and needed you at the clubhouse asap. He snorted at their impatience and agreed to leave once breakfast was over. His shift at the junkyard started soon anyway so it was fine. All too soon breakfast was cleaned up, you finished getting ready and headed out.

Creeper’s bike slowed to a stop in its usual spot outside the clubhouse and you removed your arms from around him. He helped you get off, though it was not necessary at this point in your relationship, but it still made your heart flutter. It was the little things that made you feel the most loved. You put your helmet in his saddlebag and grabbed your bag that had some spatulas that were perfect for spreading masa, as well as your usual stuff. Neron, who had slung his work shirt on already, waited until you were situated before pulling you in for a quick kiss. You exchanged “love yous” and you fixed his collar before finally starting to make your way toward the clubhouse. Neron softly smacked your butt as you walked away. You turned back to him in fake shock, all he did in return is wink at you and headed toward the junkyard office.

You enter the clubhouse through the side door and went straight to the small kitchen hidden there. It was alive with chatter and the clattering of dishes as everyone made sure everything was almost ready. There was also music coming from a small speaker somebody bought. True to the group text they were all here although some not looking too happy about being up so early; Letty mostly. A quick survey let you know that the corn husks were already soaking and the meat was cooked, which were the arguably the most time consuming in terms of prep. Everyone was scattered around cooking the chili sauces, preparing the masa, and dicing cheese. There was a table set up in the middle where you would all prepare the tamales. It gave you an odd sense of déjà vu and stirred up memories of a similar scene in your grandma’s kitchen when you were younger.

You made your way over to Letty, who was finishing up the green chili, to ask if she needed help. She just held up a spoon to taste if the green chili was ready The small taste you took was honestly perfect, it wasn’t too spicy that it would overwhelm your taste buds but it had the necessary kick. You told her as such and excused yourself to go put your bag down and wash your hands. Jess and another girl were working the bar right now, since someone needed to be there to help the prospect. Small greetings were exchanged before you returned to the kitchen.

Hope was moving all the different bowls to the table when you walked in. You were quick to help her set them up in a way that you could work like an assembly line. This was proven to be the most efficient way. She sent you a thankful smile in return. Once everything was set up, you all stood around the table ready to begin, Letty delegating specific duties to each of you. The pairs were you and Sofia on masa spreading, Hope and Nails were on adding the fillings, which left her and Cielo on folding and adding to the pot. As you were about to start scooping when Nails spoke up.

“Wait. Before we start, I gotta ask. Neither one of you is pregnant, right?” She asked gesturing to you and Sofia.

It got impossibly quiet in the small kitchen. To say you were all surprised by her question is an understatement. Why was it relevant? You glanced at the others and saw that they looked just as confused as you. The silence was slowly becoming unbearable. Sure, you were close to these girls but normally you worked up to talking about your sex lives. You didn’t know what to do or say so you just started awkwardly laughing. Sofia joined in but you both stopped when you saw the serious look on Nail’s face. Oh, she really wanted to know.

“Maybe I should explain.”

“Yeah, that would be helpful.” Letty muttered.

“The reason I asked is because of an old superstition my abuela used to tell us about. She always said that pregnant women under no circumstances should touch the masa. They can help but the masa is off-limits. There’s something about being pregnant that causes masa to not cook for some reason. I don’t know much about it,” She paused letting us process. “I know it’s a silly wives’ tale but I figured it is better to be safe, ya know?”

Another silence filled the room while you took in what she said. Again, you were at a loss for words, but the more you thought about it, you kind of remember your grandma saying something similar when she hosted the annual tamalada (tamale-making party). You didn’t pay much attention then because you were young, and thought there was no way it could be true.

“Oh please. For all we know this could just be a rumor some pregnant lady started so she didn’t have to help.” Letty argued.

“I know that, but it feels safer asking. Just in case,” Nails reiterated.

Letty just rolled her eyes and held her hands up. “Whatever.”

You were quick to try and cut any remaining tension. For whatever reason lately Letty had been bitchier than usual, with everyone. When anyone tried to ask her about it should would just mutter “I’m fine” or “fuck off” before walking away. Hope speculated that it was boy trouble on your double date last week.

“Well in any case. I know for sure I am not. EZ and I are not quite there yet.” Sofia commented. She was semi-new to your group since she had just started talking to EZ. She and Nails have been friends for awhile as well.

“Yeah. Creeper and I are safe every time. Not even sure we are ready for a kid.” You assured Nails with a smile. If you learned anything growing up is that there was some truth to old superstitions. “Now let’s get started or we will be here all day.”

Once that was settled, the work began with some light chatter. It didn’t take long for a system to develop where Hope filled your husks and Nails filled Sofia’s. No topic was considered off-limits given how connected most of your lives were. You dished out a fair amount of dirt about your old men, coworkers, and even rude strangers. Although you still couldn’t get Letty to spill on what has been going on with her. Which was understandable she was the youngest of the group, not to mention that her dad’s girlfriend was here. Laughter filled the room after a story about how Neron claimed you were cheating the last time you played Loteria with your nieces and nephews; he was just upset he kept losing. You may have disclosed that some of the cards went “missing” when he was close to winning.

After the first bowl was empty and the first batch was on the stove to steam. It was unanimous decision that it was time for lunch. A timer was set but it felt irresponsible to leave the pot unattended, so a small group was sent to go pick up food. The once noisy kitchen had gone silent as you all munched on your food. There was not much you could do now, so unlike this morning there was no rush. It was nice and in a weird way took you back to making them with your family before you moved. In some way these girls here were your family. Why else would you be making tamales out of season for a baby shower?

Someone’s hand grabbing your burrito from behind made you jump. An arm wrapping around your waist told you it was Neron. Although, you could not relax because before you knew what was happening, he pulled your food out of your grasp and taking a bite. A small gasp left your mouth at his blasphemous actions. How dare he still your food. You may love him, but sharing your food was testing that love.

“Oh, so now you wanna share food?” You joked turning around to face him, snatching your food back.

All he did was grunt in agreement as he also took a sip of your soda.

“Aye, Güey. Get your own!” You bleated swatting his hands away.

He tightened his grip around your waist before kissing the crease between your brows. You felt your face soften almost instantly. His lips were so damn soft. He held eye contact as he took another sip of your drink. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he set the cup down.

“Is that root beer?”

You nodded your head in answer. “Why?”

“Nothing, just curious. Anyways I came over to tell you my shift is over and I’m gonna hit a meeting.”

You nodded your head in understanding. You were proud of him and his dedication to staying sober. His presence clued you in that he wasn’t here just to inform of this; he would’ve just sent a text. He was here for a good-bye kiss. It was routine in your relationship given how dangerous his life could be. You just wanted to see if he would ask for it or not.

“Okay. Depending how this batch goes, we might be done soon. I’ll probably stay and work the bar, if you are going to come back after.” You told him, walking with him toward the back door.

“Sounds good. Let me know if anything changes, kay?”

“Will do. Love you, chulo.” You cooed, draping your arms around the back of his neck. His hands rested on hips and pulled you closer. You didn’t move to kiss him, you kind of wanted him to ask. A playfully smirk made its way on your face as you raised your eyebrows challenging him He sighed and placed his forehead on yours; partially because he did not like being called chulo in public. Not enough to ask you to stop, he just knew his brothers would rag on him if they heard.

“Love you too, mamas. Dame un beso,” He whispered. This was one of the few phrases in Spanish he pronounced perfectly.

You were quick to peck his plush lips for longer than necessary. The kisses were just that much sweeter whenever he asked in Spanish. A round of whoops and hollers from the kitchen broke you too apart. Heat slowly spread across your face. You had forgotten there was other people here. You flipped the girls off and gave Neron one last kiss.

The girls were still giggling when you returned. You just rolled your eyes at them and tried to finish your lunch. Unfortunately, you hadn’t gotten two bites in when Hope called your name. Something was bothering her and she was not sure how to bring it up. She was playing with her fingers and avoiding eye contact. This caused a knot to form in your stomach. You swallowed your food and waited for her to continue.

“Since when do you like root beer?” She finally asked after what felt like forever.

It was a valid question, that you for some reason could not answer. There was no clear reason. Most of them knew of your distaste for root beer. Yet here you were willingly drinking it. So, you just shrug your shoulders before answering.

“Don’ t know. I’ve just had a hankering for it recently.” As if to further prove your point, you took another drink.

“Hankering?” Letty snorted, “You sure you aren’t pregnant?”

You all but chocked on your drink at her joke. Again, it took you a bit to compose yourself as the weight of her words fully hit you. Logically you knew she was just messing around, but that did not stop the wheels from turning in your head. Could you be pregnant? There were definitely a few signs that pointed to yes. To say that you and Neron had a healthy sex life would be an understatement. But that did not erase the fact that you were safe every single time. Sure, there was a couple of times where you forgot to take your birth control or were in too much of a rush to wrap it. But it rarely happened.

Before you could spiral to deep, a small ‘umm guys’ from Sofia pulled you out of your thoughts. All your heads snapped to look at her… standing by the now open pot… checking on the tamales. Sofia’s wide eyes and furrowed brows, told you something wasn’t right. But there was no way that it could be what you thought it was. Your palms immediately started to sweat as she opened and shut her mouth a few times.

“So uhh. The masa for some of these doesn’t seem to be cooking right. “It might be nothing, but…” She trailed off.

You felt your stomach drop and anxiety wash over you. This triggered bile to rise in your throat, and you ran to the bathroom with your hand covering your mouth. Clearly God or whatever higher power out there was playing a cruel joke on you. After getting acquainted with the club porcelain, all that could be heard was you repeatedly mumbling ‘no,no,no,no,no”. This could not be happening, this wasn’t real. You couldn’t be pregnant, not right now. Right? There was only one way to find out for sure.

You rinsed your mouth and wiped the small tears away before heading back to the kitchen. Careful not to make any eye contact with whatever members were in the main area. The last thing you needed was one of them to bother you and then tell Creeper. The girls were sporting grim looks when you re-entered. You noticed that Cielo was missing from your little group. Before you could ask, Hope told you that she went to go get a test.

Waiting for the stupid test was the longest two minutes of your life. You sat on the closed toilet seat with your head in your hands, unable to stop the erratic bouncing of your leg. All you could do was think about how there were multiple signs, but you chose to brush them off. How could you be so blind? How did this even happen? Well, you knew how, but still. You had no idea what you were going to do if it was positive. Also, where did Neron stand on the whole subject? This wasn’t exactly a topic you two discussed at length. Having kids was always a ‘maybe one day’ scenario to you, and it was starting to look like one day might be here. No. You needed to find out before you started to panic. Which is easier said than done.

The sound of your phone’s timer going off pulled you out of your head. This was it, the moment that could change your life forever. With shaking hands you grabbed the stick off the counter and then closed your eyes. After taking a deep breath, you finally looked at the test in your hands. Pregnant.

Tears welled in your eyes and a flood of conflicting emotions hit you. You gingerly placed a hand over your stomach unable to fully wrap your head around everything. It was like you were trapped in a dream and nightmare at the same time, but there was no waking up from it. You stayed in the bathroom a little while longer to regulate your emotions.

Nails was guarding the broken bathroom door to make sure no one interrupted. All it took was for you making eye contact for her to know. She was literally in your position a few months ago. She understood the emotions you were feeling, how close you were to spiraling. No words were needed as she pulled you into a hug, softly rubbing your back. The pressure of her belly oddly comforting. And thankfully you were calmer once you pulled apart. The clubhouse was definitely not the place to try to deal with this news. You thanked her as you walked back to the kitchen. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Angel send you guys a questioning look.

“Lady troubles.”

“Mind your business.”

You replied at the same time.

The girls swarmed you the second you stepped foot in the kitchen. It was expected because they were almost just as anxious as you.

“Who knew that masa superstition was correct?” Hope joked trying to break the tension.

“Hope!” You exclaimed before laughing.

“I’m just saying.”

You all laughed about it and tried to get the day back on track. The plan was to let the “baby batch” steam longer and see if they cooked. There was still some masa left so you guys could make more if needed, you and Hope would switch tasks.

You left the clubhouse a little while later. Cielo refused to let you stay and work behind the bar like you normally would. Conversations thankfully did not revolve around your newfound situation for too long. The girls were more excited for Nails’ baby shower, and making sure everything was ready. Creeper eventually returned to pick you up so you guy could have dinner together. Giving him some excuse on why you didn’t want to stay.

Exhaustion hit as soon as you walked through the door. Today had been a lot and it wasn’t even over yet. You planted yourself face down on the sofa after turning on a random movie. Creeper had dropped you off to go pick up the food you ordered, which gave you some much needed alone time. Despite how brief it would be. It gave you just enough time to start processing the fact that there was life growing inside you. The initial panic had seemingly run its course, but you were still unsure how you felt overall. Is this something you actually want? Would Neron want this too? Are you guys even ready for kids yet? You also wondered what it would be like to have a mini version of you and Neron running around. Picturing what they might look like and who they took after most. If you were to have it, would you guys be good parents?

It was a lot to think about, and now there was a deadline, which made every answer that much more crucial. You also had to decide when and how to tell your boyfriend; that was step one. Though that was not going to happen until you knew how you felt.

The rumble of Creep’s bike pulling into the driveway caused you to finally sit up. No need to worry him right as he walked in. A wave of panic washed over you again, but you shook it off. What if he figured it out? What if… Before you had more time to get in your own head, the front door was unlocked.

“I’m back,” Neron gruffly greeted as he slipped off his kutte and boots leaving them by the door.

He kissed your temple before plopping down next to you and placing the takeout on the coffee table. Silence filled the space between you as you two ate. No words were needed for the time being. You were busy pretending to be invested in the movie currently playing. It was entertaining enough and allowed you to relax for the first time today.

“So how was the rest of your day, mamas?” Creep asked. How true that nickname was now.

You tensed up slightly at this, you just hoped he didn’t notice. You took a second to think about how to answer. This wasn’t the time to tell him you decided.

“Oh, uhh well. It was,” you paused pretending to think of the right word. “Interesting.”

He hummed in response and waited for you to continue. You told him about some of the pregnancy stories Nails had imparted on the group throughout the day. It felt like you were cutting it a little close, but for now it was the only option.

One week. You have managed to keep the secret from Creep for one week. It wasn’t so much a secret as it was just trying to figure out what you wanted. Fortunately, a little trick of vaporub under the nose, that Nails told you about, kept your morning sickness at bay for the most part. Unfortunately, now that you knew the pregnancy symptoms hit you full force, you didn’t know what was worse: fatigue or mood swings. It was definitely the mood swings. Everything was okay one minute the next you were either crying or angry beyond belief. You could tell it was getting to Creep as well and it was probably about time to rip the band aid off. That and because you did not know how much longer you could keep this to yourself.

It happened one night as you two were eating dessert in the living room. You were sitting next to each other, but you might as well been in separate rooms with how tense it was. You had gotten snippy with him earlier so the only sounds were your chewing and the game he was watching. You knew you weren’t being fair by giving him the silent treatment, but you didn’t care. Your secret was now creating distance between the two of you and it was time to do something about it. You just did not know how to start this conversation. It turns out your mouth knew though.

“Neron, we got to talk,” you started setting your food down. “Do you remember last week when I told you tamale making had been interesting?” You turned to face him.

“Yeah,” he replied mimicking you, sensing that this was important. Hoping you were finally going to tell him what has been bothering you. He knew something was wrong but he couldn’t figure it out. Which was surprising because normally he could read you like a book.

You took a deep breath and waited for him to make eye contact. It was now or never.

“Guapo, I’m pregnant,” you confessed.

He did not react for a couple of seconds; all he did was drop his gaze to your stomach than back to your eyes. The look of bewilderment on his face might have been adorable in any other situation. But before you could start to panic, he nodded his head a couple of times.

“You’re right mami, that is interesting. How are you feeling? Have you thought about what you want to do?” He asked clearly interested in the answer.

“I’m still not sure, honestly,” you shrug in response. “I’ve been spending the last week trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. But I wanted to tell you, see how you felt.” You bit your bottom lip.

He reached to smooth it with his thumb, before cupping your cheek. His brown eyes bore into yours and held nothing but adoration, tenderness, and love. A smile creeping its way on his face.

“I mean I’m not opposed to the idea. It’s kinda like you said, a lot to process, but I am here for you. I will support your decision either way, okay?”

You nodded as tears welled in your eyes. How did you get so lucky to find someone so supportive. You just wanted to kiss him, and you did. You surged forward and planted your lips on his, cupping the back of his head. He pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around you. The kiss was desperate and passionate. It was like you were trying to pour all your stress, anxiety, hope, and trust into it, while he was soaking it up and reassuring you that everything was okay.

“You don’t gotta cry, baby. We’re alright. Everything will be okay.” He reassured you after you pulled apart. “What do say we sleep on it and talk about it more tomorrow? Huh?”

You wiped your eyes and nodded.

“Sounds good.”

“Shoulda fucking figured it out sooner, with how crazy you’ve been acting.” He teased.

“Shut up.” You laughed smacking his arm. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. You snuggled closer and returned your attention back to the tv. The weight on your shoulders felt lighter already and you trusted that Creep was right. It was going to be okay. No matter what you choose to do, as long as you had each other.

A/N: fun fact this idea has been mulling around my brain for a few years now and I finally got a round to finishing it. I have been working on this particular version for at least a year. So thanks for taking the time to read it. Comments and reblogs greatly appreciated! I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING PUBLISHED ELSEWHERE!!

#creeper vargas x reader #neron vargas x reader #mayans x reader #mayans imagine #mayans mc #creeper vargas

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soleilnomoon · 1 year

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Hiiii! :D <3 I owe you another event request that I announced.. sitting at work, yet another late evening, and dreaming of some Ace goodness. So may I ask for an ice cream sundae, donut hole, oatmeal raisin cookie, affogato and toffee? With female reader? :D If possible with the one serving the ice cream sundae being the reader? I need lotssss of caramel and whipped cream to get me through the week! Thank you so much!!!! <3

i can’t believe it took me so long, i’m so so sorry, but!!! it’s finally here *sobs continuously* so sorry bb that i took forever, but i only like to give you guys quality writing (esp with ace, i love him) so forgive me pls thank u & ily 😭💛🥺️

3.3k words, fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; only a tiny bit of angst (yay), fluff!!!! and smut!!! ace needs to do better, and reader isn't as slick as she thinks she is (but lbr, when is reader ever slick). friends 2 lovers (surprise, surprise i know who am i), feat. v cute things like oral (m receiving), oral (f receiving), a lil roughplay but nothing crazy, a lil dry humping, idk other stuff probably idr anymore ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა but i had fun writing even tho the fluff almost killed me but for u i persevered! (if u see spelling/grammar errors no u didn’t <;3)

“look how we bleed from all this wanting” — ama asantewa diaka

unease is something you’re well-acquainted with — a painful, yet comforting, reminder of things that may or may not come. its slender vines wrap meticulously around each bone in your rib cage, lying in wait as your heart beats faster. it’s a pathetic, melancholic melody; a lullaby you can never escape. anxiety pours into you slowly — poisonous and haunting, tainting the lush, untamed garden that’s grown deep inside of you; one you’ve painstakingly tended to for most of your life, where your childhood dreams remain dormant, where your fears slither around in the thick vegetation ready to strike when given the chance. everything becomes fuzzy and unbearable, but you somehow manage to inhale several large gulps of air before continuing.

it’s not easy keeping secrets, but you do it anyway. for him — only for him. today’s no different, as this is one secret you’re more than happy to keep to yourself.

contrary to popular belief, ace is much more particular about certain things than he lets on. for whatever reason, he’s adamant on keeping his birthday hidden from his crew mates — something you don’t quite understand, but respect, nonetheless. he says it’s because he doesn’t want the fuss and awkward fanfare of celebrating, but you know there’s another reason — one possibly drenched in tragedy and grief, so you refrain from asking again.

instead, you decide to celebrate with him in private; you’re best friends, after all. and after a few months of prodding, he finally concedes, giving you free reign to do as you please. a man like ace isn’t simple to shop for; you stress over his birthday gift for weeks, desperately wanting to find something unique — something that no one else would think to give him. it keeps you up for several nights in a row, where torn pieces of paper with scratched out ideas litter the floor in your room. at a certain point you scream into your pillow, desperate to get all your frustrations out before going back to sift through your failed gift ideas.

you pass out in the middle of ranting to yourself about your own incompetence, and the idea comes to you in a dream. when you wake up the next morning, you’re a little nervous but you’re sure this might be the one gift he wasn’t expecting — the one gift that he’ll appreciate and possibly cherish.

the thought of that only serves to rattle the tiny box of nerves that sits in the middle of your stomach — the lid barely attached; the contents ready to spill at the next inconvenience that comes your way.

ace intentionally kept vague about what he wanted as a gift; he hates the idea of people scrambling around trying to surprise him, and instead keeps his expectations low. life, it seems, has helped him learn that lesson time and time again; it’s better, in his opinion, to snuff out any residual hope — the one that lingers behind all the disappointment that tends to follow him around — before it’s too late.

still, he’s curious to see what you’ve been working so tirelessly on. you’ve kept quiet about everything, and no matter how many times he tries to pry the answers out of you, you remain steadfast and keep the secret to yourself.

he's impressed, to say the least, and a flicker of excitement courses through him as he spends the morning of his birthday obnoxiously guessing what your surprise gift is. you wave him off, tell him to stop pestering you, but he doesn’t let up. there were times when you almost told him, but he has to hand it to you — you’re incredibly determined and stubborn.

you convince him to come off of the ship with you and explore the main town of the island your crew is visiting. he knows you’re not that interested in exploring, that you’re doing all of this to distract him; he smiles to himself in secret, away from your curious and trusting eyes, unable to come to terms with the warmth that’s taken hold of his chest, pitifully churning his insides around. if he had more sense, he’d realize it’s his nerves that have gotten the best of him; but that’s ridiculous, what would he have to be nervous about?

especially on his birthday?

while he thinks he’s being stealthy by trying to hide his emotions, you catch him several times; you don’t say much about it, instead wanting ace to fully enjoy himself unrestricted. you admire the shape of his jaw when he excitedly looks around, nearly trip when you notice how sunlight drapes itself along his freckled, light brown skin, and choke on your drink when he glances over at you. the corners of his lips quirk upward, and a small, devastating, dimpled smile crawls onto his face.

you’re rarely rendered speechless, but your inability to function properly causes you to let go of the cup in your hand — not that it matters, really. you don’t even care that the drink splashes near your sandaled feet, nor do you notice the way ace’s brows furrow together at your sudden clumsiness. a frown works its way onto his lips while you stand there stupidly, trying to remember what it is you’re supposed to be doing.

he tilts his head and briefly wonders if maybe the heat has gotten to you — you’re usually much more with it, but today you’re quieter and spaced out. when he opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay, you simply step over the fallen drink and keep walking down the street. something about your insistence on ignoring your recent faux pas makes him laugh out loud; he doesn’t mean to, but it’s just so damn funny to him.

and while you could be mad at him for the way he can’t seem to stop laughing at you, you know that the small bout of annoyance will fizzle out shortly. you can never actually stay mad at him, even if you tried — and yes, you have tried and failed several times over.

ace eventually catches up to you and that familiar teasing grin stretches lazily along his lips as he playfully grabs your arm and pulls you towards him. you steel your features as best as you can and narrow your eyes at him; the residual embarrassment from earlier lingers obnoxiously, making you stumble over your words.

or, that’s what you tell yourself, anyway.

because if he knew that it was because it’s become increasingly difficult to be around him for extended periods of time, then you’d never hear the end of it.

the problem is: ace already knows, and has known for quite some time. he never brought it up, because then you’d find a reason to keep yourself busy and stay away from him intentionally. he’s selfish and will continue to monopolize your time however way he can, especially today. you’ve never had an issue with ace touching you before, but for some reason his skin is warmer than normal — or maybe it’s because you’re still too nervous about the gift. you know that he’ll like and appreciate anything you give him, which is why you let out a soft sigh and rummage through your purse to shove a small piece of paper into his hand.

“i wanted to wait until we got back to the ship,” you say quietly, tongue suddenly much too big for your mouth; you try pulling away from him, but ace’s grip is firm, and you’re not trying that hard anyway. “but, um… happy birthday!”

he watches you curiously before glancing down at the paper in his hand; in a cute, neat script, you’ve written: birthday coupon (1 use only). and before he can ask anything unnecessary, you explain quickly, words tumbling out of your mouth in a rush.

“basically, you have my services for exactly twenty-four hours only.”

and, as ace is constantly in a state of perpetual confusion, he glances back at you to see if this is a joke or not.

“really?”

he wants to believe you, but he also knows that you’d never actually let him have his way for a day — or, would you? now he isn’t so sure.

your usual bravado leaves you faster than you can handle, so you nod a few times and finally manage to free yourself from his hold. after giving yourself a bit of space, you realize that you can think clearly now that he isn’t so close to you.

“yes,” you say lightly, hoping that he’ll buy your false confidence as legitimate. “whatever you want me to do, i’ll do. no questions asked.” you know you’re treading dangerously, but this was the best idea you could come up with. unease finds you again when ace remains quiet — a feat for him, as he’s usually boisterous and vocal about everything — but all of that doubt dissipates when a small, sly smile appears on his face as he pockets the coupon and beckons you closer.

“thanks, let’s go.”

you don’t bother asking where, because ace has already grabbed your hand and tugs you along with him. you want to tell him that he doesn’t have to hold onto your hand like that, but you decide that you deserve a bit of selfishness too. the day passes fairly quickly — you end up eating at several places with him, purchase enough sweets to put you into a sugar-induced coma, and laugh so hard you end up in tears.

he likes seeing this side of you, the part that’s carefree and full of energy; he admires how smooth and soft your skin is and thinks it’s impossibly cute that you can’t stop sneaking glances at him. you’re not as inconspicuous as you think you are, but ace doesn’t tease you about it. already he’s had you do silly things like balance on one leg like a flamingo in the middle of the shopping plaza and cartwheel as long as you can down to the pier — the latter was him testing the waters to see if you’d really do it, but you rise to the challenge and only fall over twice.

embarrassment be damned, as long as ace is happy today that’s all that matters.

when you make it back to the ship, the sun has set, bathing the ocean and sky with a pretty mixture of bright colors. you take a moment to lean against the railing to watch the sky, mesmerized by the artistry, while ace watches you and contemplates how best to proceed with you. he’s normally much better at hiding his desire and attraction, but today he’s at his limit. he doesn’t bother looking away when you feel his gaze on you; it’s always intense, having ace’s undivided attention — and while a small voice tells you that it’s dangerous to let this tension build to a frenzied state, a much bigger voice tells you to just let go and embrace whatever happens.

it's ace who grabs your arm and tugs you with him to his cabin, locking the door behind so that no one would interrupt; and it’s ace who plucks the coupon out of his pocket again, playfully waving it around as your brain scrambles as you try to guess what he’ll request next. it should alarm you that your excitement starts to build all over again when ace plops down lazily in a nearby chair, legs spread; something compels you to move closer and before you can say anything remotely foolish, ace pulls you onto his lap.

you tell yourself that it’s purely for the sake of ensuring he has a memorable birthday, but the truth won’t let you off that easily — not when you shamelessly straddle him as your skirt rides up your thighs; not when you thread your fingers through his hair and tugging on it impatiently; and not when you softly press your lips against his and mumble something along the lines of, “hurry up and ask.”

it’s refreshing seeing you take initiative like that, so ace tosses the coupon onto the floor unceremoniously before gripping your hips firmly. that warmth from earlier comes back in full force, and suddenly you’re wondering why the both of you are still dressed. he doesn’t hesitate when he runs his tongue along your lips, and you, in response, roll your hips forward and grind down hard against his stiff cock. a dangerous game, you know — you know — but you can’t help yourself; not today, anyway.

it's you who kisses him first — clumsy and rash, but after a moment, your lips move against his with more certainty; he guides you with his tongue, heat shooting up your spine, making you pliant and eager. each time he kisses you, you have to remind yourself that it’s not another dream, that it’s actually happening. and even if, after all of this, you both go back to pretending you’re just friends, you’re sure you’ll be fine.

maybe.

you don’t dwell on that thought though, and focus on the way ace keeps rubbing his hands along your thighs — slow and tortuous, the callouses on his hands rough, but welcomed on your skin. you’re panting and whining softly, the heat radiating off his body stifling, but also addicting. he’s not sure how much longer he can hold back, and you somehow get the hint when he bucks his hips against yours, your panties already damp with arousal every time your pussy rubs against his cock.

there’s a slightly dazed look in his eyes when you managed to climb off of him without your legs giving out, and it’s his own selfishness that drives him to watch you as you take off your clothes without prompting. is it adrenaline, lust, or the intoxicating effects of ace’s presence that has you in between his legs and on your knees. when he realizes what you’re about to do, he opens his mouth to tell you that it’s not necessary, but his argument dies in his mouth and fizzles out completely when you unzip his shorts and pull out his cock.

ace inhales sharply as a warm breeze slips in from the open window and tangles itself around both of you; and, although the moon hides sleepily behind a few clouds, some of its light filters through, giving you an ethereal glow as you run your tongue along the length of his cock before wrapping your lips around the tip. it’s not often that ace finds himself powerless in front of someone, but you’ve rendered him weak beyond comprehension. you suck and swirl your tongue around, dragging it along his slit and licking off the precum that leaked out.

it invigorates you — watching him through your lashes as your hands wrap around the rest of his length, twisting and pumping mercilessly, every stifled moan giving you the encouragement to keep going. you inadvertently rub your thighs together, pussy slick with your wetness, but, surprisingly, you don’t feel ashamed about it — not when you take more of ace’s cock into your mouth, relaxing your jaw and letting him have free reign for a bit. ace juts his hips forward, feeling only a tiny bit remorseful when he sees you gag, but the determined look in your eyes tells him that you refuse to back down.

when you feel like you can’t breathe, you lick down his length and massage his balls, earning a string of unintended, slightly incoherent curse words from ace under his breath. it’s a sensitive area — and, try as he might, he can’t help but moan your name out loud, his breathing growing unsteady, making you all the more delirious and obsessed. your teeth accidentally grazes his skin and he tugs on your hair more forcefully than he means to, startling you but not for the reasons it should.

his voice is low and gruff when he speaks again. “y/n… behave.” which is all he really needs to say, because while it was an accident, something forbidden swirls around your lower abdomen, making you bold and somewhat reckless. before he can say anything else, you suck on his balls, melting his resolve and small bout of annoyance.

he wants to ask if you’re trying to kill him, but he partially knows the answer to that already. goosebumps prick his skin as you look at him equal parts mischievous and full of adoration. he’s not sure why, but he likes that he’s only ever seen you look at him like that.it makes all of this that much more intense, and he knows that after tonight he can’t go back to being just friends with you.

it’d be impossible.

you take his cock back into your mouth again, bobbing up and down, his girth still a challenge, but you take it in stride anyway. and its when you suck on his sensitive tip again that ace’s restraint finally gives out; you feel him jerk underneath you, and his cum is thick and hot as it spills into your mouth. he half expects you to spit it out, and even through that post-orgasm haze, he’s amazed when you swallow it all.

with his face flushed — from the force of the orgasm, from how he can’t seem to keep his eyes off of you, especially after you lick some of his cum off of your lips — ace runs a hand through his hair before standing up and pulling you to your feet. he kisses you again, sloppy, yet domineering; your hands work on tugging the rest of his clothes off quickly, and it doesn’t take long before he has you on your back thighs clamped around his head as he devours your pussy.

nothing can compare to the high you feel right now, hips rolling forward, shamelessly tugging on his hair roughly, moaning his name louder than you mean to. anyone passing by can hear you, the walls are thin enough, but you don’t care now. his tongue glides along your slit, your arousal spilling onto his tongue before he flicks it against your clit.

something about the way he’s handling you — as if you’re able to take whatever aggression he tosses your way, especially when he slides his fingers inside of your pussy, finger-fucking and enjoying how you’re falling apart underneath him — makes you that much more reactive to him. and when he sucks on your clit — merciless, just like you were being with him a short while ago — you don’t hold back.

your cries are music to his ears, and he knows he should tell you to keep it down, but he also likes how loud you’re being. almost as if he wants other people to hear that he’s the one making you writhe around on his bed like that. the orgasm is sudden, brutal, and life changing; a blinding light practically incapacitating you, momentarily robbing you of your vision. your chest heaves as you try to gather your thoughts; a lightheaded feeling takes over, making you shiver, your sweet whining only makes him want to keep torturing you with his tongue.

but he refrains, for now.

after pulling back, you both look at each other for a moment before you pull him down for another kiss — this one tender, sweet, and slow. ace lets himself fall further under your spell, not wanting to ask if you complied with his selfish whims because you wanted to or because of his birthday coupon. and if he did ask, you know, deep down, that you’d tell him it’s very obviously the former — that it wasn’t only his selfish whim, that you were equally to blame for letting things escalate like this. not that it matters much right now, since all you can think about, is how you don’t plan on leaving his bed for the rest of the night. and how you know you’ll be plenty sore once he’s done with you later on.

#*sobs into hands*#i have so many more to do but don't worry i'm working on them <3 #fic request #500+ followers event #milestone event #🍭✨🍨sticky & sweet event🧁✨🍭#one piece fluff #one piece smut #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #portgas d. ace #portgas d. ace x reader #portgas d. ace smut #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace smut #ace fluff #one piece imagine #one down... 1493984 left

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mlmxreader · 2 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/mlmxreader/743699285536915456/people-really-do-need-to-examine-both-their

hi, genuine question but would you mind elaborating on this post? bc i read a lot of nikto fics and would like to educate myself on which instances they r fetishizing him (i assume its about him since u tagged him x reader)

thank you!

of course!

so, when I talk abt fetishisation of mental illness (in this case dissociative disorders & psychotic disorders specifically), I'm also talking about romanticisation and glorification of them; so, something I've seen a LOT within fanfic, headcanons, fan art, etc in terms of Nikto specifically is this idea that somehow his mental health issues make him "uwu so soft" or they make him scared, innocent, infantilised, etc. they treat a very serious, very GENUINE, mental health disorder as something is NOT serious or genuine, but rather, something that causes somebody to be "cute" and "adorable".

this idea that somehow mental health disorders turn you into LESS of an independent grown adult and somehow mean that you need help with everything. which simply isn't the case.

it's the portrayal (specifically) of Nikto being the "perfect" mentally ill person - he doesn't exhibit the "scary" symptoms, such as episodes where he lashes out and accuses people of not being real, or where he doesn't experience positive symptoms like delusions and voices in his head. or that somehow he experiences symptoms and episodes which DON'T scare him.

which isn't to say that EVERY SINGLE fan creation regarding Nikto SHOULD portray these things (bc G/d knows the cod fandom is NOT a safe space for ND people w stigmatised disorders as it is, esp not people w dissociative, personality, psychotic and schizospec disorders), but it IS saying that these things DO exist and should at the very least be ACKNOWLEDGED as part of the character.

on the flip side, it's also the fact that a large majority of fanfics, fan art, headcanoms, etc ALSO take away his disorder completely; suddenly he's neurotypical, or his symptoms simply DON'T exist and even the canonical mannerisms he has BECAUSE of his disorder (such as speaking as a group by using words like "We" instead of "I") simply are nonexistent. or making his symptoms line up MORE with *anxiety* disorders instead of dissociative disorders.

all in all, it's this ideal that either Nikto is "uwu soft bby boy who's going to cry if you're not close!!" or he's just... not mentally ill?? at all??

which is shitty!! it's shitty!! as someone who HAS been on the receiving end of this treatment due to being mentally ill myself and being schizophrenic, it's the type of fetishisation that people BELIEVE is ending the stigma against these disorders but is literally just turning them into something DESIRABLE instead.

BUT in all honesty? it shouldn't come as a shock whatsoever given the fact that the cod fandom is INCREDIBLY saneist and EXTREMELY disrespectful towards anyone who has a disorder such as Nikto's; it is NOT a safe space for people like me, in the slightest, and people refuse to do better and to learn how to just Not Be Shitty.

it shouldn't come as a shock that Nikto is treated the way he is when people go around w slurs in their urls (esp "schizo"), or when people use terms like "delulu". the cod fandom NEEDS to do better and NEEDS to stop being shitty towards people w "scary" mental health disorders.

#asks #anonymous #nikto x reader

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hwnglx · 5 months

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Hiii can I ask you how the riize members are feeling after seunghan was forced to go in a hiatus? Thank youuu

how do riize feel about seunghan's hiatus?

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

okay, remember i solely focused on the members' emotions here, so in general the energy is very messy. each member's feelings are pretty complicated and different, also a lot of it is surpressed, so much caution around what they express and what they keep to themselves. they seem to be walking on egg shells, esp when faced with the company, just having no choice but to accept whatever decision is made. you gotta remember they just debuted and are afraid of messing up by voicing their opinion impulsively. so they're just kinda nodding at everything, i feel like.

shotaro 10ofp, pagofw&lovers+kingofw, 7ofp, aceofp, 10ofc

his priority is in the future and stability of the group.. you can tell he's the oldest just by his mindset, and the fact that many big decisions seem to be made by him. i can tell his previous experience helps him a lot in giving the newly debuted and more insecure members a push in confidence and braveness. he's encouraging them and trying to establish an attitude focused on hard work and patience, but also really wanting to keep the group in harmony. it's pretty interesting, because i literally can't see any glimpse of seunghan in here? he doesn't consider him much and believes if his hiatus is what had to happen for the group to get to a successful and stable place, then so be it. not much emotional attachment to the situation, very driven and work-focused mindset for him.

eunsok 4ofsw, 5ofsw, 9ofsw, 10ofsw, 7ofp, knofp

okay, he's definitely one of the more affected members. seunghan's hiatus seemed to have driven him to an anxious and tense state full of doubts, i can see him constantly worrying about the ways in which the negativity of the scandal could affect them. he felt pretty helpless, like he couldn't really do anything other than watching everything happen. there were different stages of emotion for him, from hopelessness to anxiety to feeling like this was a significant "rock bottom" moment for them. however, the 10 of swords is the last card of its suit (plus it transitioned in this spread starting from the 9 of swords), so things seem to have slowly moved up again considering the pentacles i got afterwards. i previously got the seven of pentacles for shotaro as well, so it seems like they're trying to just believe in the power of hard work and remain patient, believe in the process. there's this sense of optimism now, where they try to hold on to the belief that this might be beneficial in the long run.

sungchan 5ofp, moon, devil&10ofc, kingofc

phew, the situation messed him up for sure. i feel like he's especially stressed about the amount of things happening without him knowing. it seems like he didn't know about the things seunghan was doing. a lot of deception here.. he feels wronged and definitely blaming him here, thinking he was an idiot for spoiling the group in such a reckless and selfish manner. (no offense, that's what i'm picking up.) like i can tell he hates how the scandal affected the group's mood and harmony, he seems to be someone who truly values this collective feeling of contentment, wants everyone to be happy. he's someone very emotionally intelligent and mature though, so he's focused on being the bigger guy in this situation. (he's still the one arguing the most tho. like, stepping up and talking the most.) not sure if he's the leader, i don't know much about the group in general, but it seems like his mood has huge impact on the group's dynamic, which he's aware of. so he's trying to be the strong shoulder to lean on, though deep inside i can sense a lot of frustration.

wonbin strength, judg, moon, 2ofsw, 6ofp, queofc, fool, 10ofc, tower&justice

so much major arcana, seems to be the most emotional one out of all them, very big feelings. it's very messy. i think he himself gets confused and overwhelmed by his emotions a lot. the scandal really stirred things up in him. it especially made him look back on himself a lot. i can tell wonbin is someone very focused on upholding a clean and faultless image, he cares a lot about what people think. so in a way, he believes seunghan was just being idiotic and immature. he thinks his band member should've been more responsible in what he does, since he's an idol now, and the result is just a cause of his impulsive actions. still, he seems to be the only member who actually genuinely felt bad for seunghan (like i'm not gonna lie, most of them don't care much about him and primarily about themselves 😬) and let him know he's there for him. i can see him hugging seunghan.

sohee aceofp&6ofsw&8ofp, aceofc, knofp&8ofc

more than anything, sohee sees the situation as a new beginning for them. making the transition from the ace of pents to the 8 of pents, he believes it made them work even harder, putting in twice the effort, making sure the negativity of the situation doesn't stand in their way. it's almost like it gave him a push of motivation? the six of swords does have a bittersweet undertone, putting a member on hiatus wasn't his most ideal outcome. but idk, i can just see him trying to see the good side of it all. the eight of cups is kinda similar here, since it also indicates leaving something behind for the better. however, cups represent emotion. combined with the knight of pentacles, he's ready to leave behind what doesn't serve him anymore, or in this case a member who's continuously had "bad" influence on the group, despite there being certain emotions tied to him. he isn't over the moon happy, but at the end of it all, he thinks this was the right decision for the group's trajectory and their careers. anton moon&sun, 5ofw&star, queofsw&justice

anton is the third member i got the moon for, so they definitely felt lost and confused on how to deal with everything. a scandal happening so early in their career caused them to feel pretty insecure and uncertain. with the moon, there's also a sense of hiddenness. i can just tell communication is on the more difficult side for this group, since they're still getting to know each other. (i can see sungchan being the most vocal one, and the rest just kinda watching him shout?) anton is another member who felt a lot, thought a lot, but didn't really know how to express it, or how much to reveal. the five of wands definitely reveals a lot of conflict, external and internal. however the sun and the star card following the two negative ones, is a good indicator. he was able to avert his focus on his own goals and dreams. "he did it to himself, whatever." is the vibe i get. anton doesn't care much about things unless they concern himself, i will say. he seems like the type to believe in karma, so he doesn't really feel bad for seunghan persé, since he just should've known better in his eyes. he's just trying to move on from it without letting it affect him emotionally.

#kpop tarot #riize tarot #i went into this reading not knowing what awaited me 😵‍💫#this was a looot

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