SOMEONE accidentally crashed a helicopter containing Tseng and the boys, leaving them stranded in the middle of nowhere for a few days until rescue comes. Who loses their sanity first?
SOLDIER Vlogging Shenanigans pt. 39
[The camera is turned on and immediately pointed to a smug face. Genesis is all smiles as he walks along a shoreline. The sun is splayed on his face, his hair is made redder by the warm sunlight, and he's eating an apple]
"Evening, friends and fans." He takes another bite of the apple to keep himself from laughing. "Today I bring you—"
"Are you FUCKING VLOGGING RIGHT NOW!?"
[Angeal's exhasperated screech makes Genesis turn around, still keeping the camera pointed at himself]
"WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS!" Angeal screams from somewhere off-frame.
[Genesis takes another bite of the apple and winks at the camera]
"Crisis are my aesthetic." He tosses his hair from his eyes. "It's crisis-core."
[A coconut is violently lobbed at his head. Genesis let's the camera fall into the sand. The video blacks out]
-
[The next video also starts with Genesis. He has the camera pointed to himself as he sits in the sand. Sephiroth and Tseng are seen in the background preparing a fire. Angeal comes up behind them carrying some wood]
Genesis sighs dreamily. "When the war of the beasts brings about the—"
"NO!" Angeal, Sephiroth and Tseng scream in unison.
[Genesis ends the video]
-
[The next video starts with Angeal filming himself. It's early morning the next day. Crashing waves and birds are heard. Tseng is seen in the background preparing a fish]
"I need to add context to this nightmare since all Genesis has done so far is be an ass."
[Genesis's laugh is heard from somewhere off-frame]
"We were on the way back from an assignment that...."
[Tseng gives Angeal a dirty look]
"That I cannot disclose. But Genesis the idiot—" Angeal pauses to glare at him. "—Insisted on flying the helicopter. He lost control because he's an idiot—" Angeal glares at him yet again. "—And then we crashed."
"We almost died," Sephiroth says in the background. "I saw my entire life flash before my eyes."
[Tseng stops preparing the fish they caught to look back at him]
"Was that before or after you punched that Sea Worm?"
[Angeal pans the camera to film Sephiroth, who's laying on a fallen tree trunk as if it's a therapy bed. He looks reflective]
"During it," he replies. "It kind of looked like Professor Hojo."
[Angeal veers the camera back to Tseng, who's now looking directly into the lens]
"He also said that about the Beachplug he butchered two hours ago."
[Angeal quickly pans the camera back to Sephiroth, who hasn't moved an inch but now has a concerning smile on his face]
"I have a lot of anger, Tseng."
[Angeal points the camera back to himself as he grimaces. Genesis's continued laugh is enough to make Angeal film him. Genesis is lounging on the sand on top of his coat. He has his copy of LOVELESS in one hand, an apple in the other, and is wearing sunglasses]
"I don't know you're so calm during all this," Angeal huffs. "I thought you would've gone nuts by now without access to the internet and coffee."
[Genesis puts his book down and shrugs]
"Why pine over creature comforts when I have everything I need right here? I'm on a free vacation with a copy of LOVELESS, my friends, and there's an apple tree right there."
[Some voices behind them makes Angeal turn the camera back around. Tseng is wrestling the fish knife away from Sephiroth]
TELL ME, TSENG, HAVE YOU EVER FELT THE DESIRE TO CONSUME DEATH AND DANCE WITH THE GODDESS?"
"SEPHIROTH, MAN, LET GO," Tseng screams.
[Angeal ignores this and pans the camera back Genesis]
"I just think it's a little suspicious how eerily thought out this all was, that's all," Angeal says.
[A commotion off-frame makes Genesis sit up straight and has Angeal pan the camera back around. Tseng is seen running after Sephiroth, who in turn is attacking a coconut tree with his sword]
"SEPHIROTH!" Tseng shouts. "THE TREE DOESN'T SUSPICIOUSLY LOOK LIKE PROFESSOR HOJO, YOU'RE JUST DELIRIOUS!"
[Angeal turns the camera back to Genesis, who takes a bite out of his apple and sighs]
"And now I have free entertainment. This is paradise—why are you looking at me like that?"
[The camera moves in on Genesis. Angeal's heavy breathing is heard as he approaches him]
"Hey, hey! No, not the face!"
[The video ends right as Genesis screams]
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