#fuckin in my chest

[anotherpapercut]

is anyone else just trying to keep it together and finding that it gets a little harder when it never gets better or is it just me and that guy from fall out boy

#oh my god also when travie mccoy said #'i can feel my heart beating harder and harder and harder and the skin on my chest getting tighter and tighter #until i just-until i just fuckin spontaneously combust' #i felt that #fob #pete wentz

[captainfern]

Not a request, just a remark: soft but strong and hairy dad bod Price makes me very weak at the knees

#stole this from my darling bbbbyblu and i felt like it was fitting #this made me have a physical reaction #i’m obsessed #i love my men big and beefy and just large #and hairy wtf #i can’t stand mf who say hair is gross or hair is unhygienic blah blah blah #i’ll lick the fuck out of a man’s happy trail i’m telling you now #rubbing the hair on his chest and stomach like he’s a fuckin scratch and sniff #love hairy men lol #god can you tell i’m obsessed or what LMAO #captainfern #captainfernsalutes #captain john price

[system-architect]

if you dont play revenant you might not know that revenants have dialogue lines where their own invoked legends (shiro, kalla, etc) talk to them and the revenant responds back, and these happen like CONSTANTLY-- it gets mildly disruptive sometimes when it plays over story voice acting or such, but that aside

i love thinking about this in a world lore context. like, shiro is talking to me in my head, right? is my revenant just standing in a crowd in lions arch and abruptly screaming "DO YOUR WORST! I AM IMPERVIOUS!" at nothing in particular, in front of onlookers? does he ever just suddenly make a Face and then go "sorry, glint was making those weird grunts again"?? i enjoy the thought.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #my stuff #playing rev is like adhd simulator #like sorry can you repeat what you said. the little demon in my head was saying weird shit #oh no its fine the demon is chill thats not a metaphor or anything #i just couldnt hear your bc hes fuckin loud #glint DOES grunt btw its kind of awful #shes always making like. grandma wailing noises #its like shes 90 years old and trying to lift a cedar chest

[piers-official]

//OOC Reminder

//UNFRIENDLY reminder that if you are any sort of transphobe/trans-exclusionist (Radfem, Libfem, Conservative, Right-Wing, ETC.) You are-

NOT

FUCKING

WELCOME

HERE

//Kindly fuck off and don't follow me, because I will not only block but report you too!

//Also read my pinned post please if you're just joining. It's LITERALLY there for a reason and you can see my DNI list is in there. For those who have been here awhile and have never read it, PLEASE READ IT. Literally all I ask.

//This also goes for ALL of my other sideblogs too.

#//ooc post #mun speaks #//literally had a fucking 'trans-exclusionist libfem' follow me #//bitch pls you're a fuckin terf kiss my ass 🖕🖕🖕 #//anyway just needed to get that off my chest #//okay to reblog/like/reply #//Nova is done ranting now back to your regularly scheduled blogging

[zosiayarn]

I TURNED THE HEEL!!!!!! that part was easy but the gusset gave me sooo much trouble. the silver lining is i finally learned how to safely undo knit stitches now lol. but i did it !! now i get the ease of simply knitting the foot in the round for a while

#yarnblr #knitblr #knitting #sockblr #HOWWW do u take good photos of wip socks #i got thru this watching a lot of TCM 60s horror movies #my favorite was about a guy who doesnt believe in witchcraft then discovers his wife is a witch. makes her get rid of all her shit and stop #and then he has to face the consequences #she was keeping his ass safe and also like.. god forbid a woman has hobbies SHE LOVES U SHES KEEPING U SAFE #id be sooooo fuckin pissed if someone made me get rid of all my dead bugs r u serious . (he gets rid of a dead spider she has ) #hes kinda fine tho... just a Logical Man #which i guess the movie is an interesting example of 60s social dynamics of the idea of masculine logic and feminine intuition #but rly ..... dur hurr hairy chest . man tits.

[ourfag]

i think part of the resistance i’ve seen in response to the view of ed as an abuse victim—not just the view of izzy as someone who abused ed, but of ed as someone who was abused by him, as opposed to interpretations that pursue an image of Nuance and Complexity (unnecessarily, because their dynamic has heaps of both, but there seems to be a popular impulse to conflate complexity with shared culpability) by characterizing their relationship as being toxic/unhealthy in equal reciprocity, or as “mutually abusive” (oxymoron)—i definitely see the influence of racism there, but i think the racism is also working to amplify an adjacent issue where we tend to receive very specific cultural messaging about What An Abuse Victim Looks Like, and ed is excluded from a lot of that criteria.

he’s outspoken. he’s boisterous. he’s Very Cool and he Wears Leather. he’s physically bigger and browner than the person mistreating him. he spends the first season with a big grey beard, he’s covered in tattoos, he projects the image of A Man’s Man, to say nothing of his being a man in the first place. we see him get aggressive and we see him get angry (and sometimes we even see both at the same time). we see moments where he’s surly, prickly, insensitive, arrogant. his survival techniques and trauma responses incur collateral damage to other people, and in the second season this extends into affecting people we actually sympathize with. he’s extremely private about expressing fear. without examination, his professional relationship to izzy seems to position him as the one with the power slanted in his favor.

most damningly, we see him react multiple times to izzy’s abuse with physical violence. this is behavior that gets referenced all the time in the construction of narratives condemning subjects of physical abuse, let alone emotional abuse. which is why writing that intends for its audience to interpret a character as being unambiguously A Victim Of Abuse will often, for simplicity’s sake, avoid showing the character regularly engaging in anything of the kind.

and again, all of these departures from the image of The Model Victim are compounded by his being a man of color.

without any of the shorthand designed to point a big flashing arrow at his mistreatment, all we have left to work with are the words and actions we see from ed and izzy onscreen. who instigates conflict, and how does the other respond? how are they able or allowed to respond? how do we see them speak about each other to outside parties? does one go out of their way to control or isolate the other? what consequences does either party stand to face in saying “no” to the other? in acting against the other’s wishes? in trying to leave the relationship? when either of them attempts these things, how do we see the other respond?

i realize and appreciate what people are driving at when they garnish their analysis with disclaimers that they’re not saying ed’s just a poor innocent abuse victim, they’re not saying he’s a perfect angel who’s never done anything wrong, and that’s true, but these are points already contained implicitly in statements like “this show’s protagonists act like human people” and “ed’s emotional struggles are portrayed in a realistic and believable way.” my assumption is that these disclaimers are anticipatory responses to worst-faith interpretations of any discussion that attributes any victim status to ed whatsoever, so i definitely sympathize with their inclusion, but a (very small) part of me still worries about them potentially reflecting or reinforcing a belief that there is any way for someone to behave towards their abuser that imparts a responsibility for them to make right whatever damage the abuser receives, or for that matter any degree of ambiguity over their status as an abuse victim in the first place.

part of what i find so gratifying about ed as a character is that i don’t feel like the show’s writing is pressuring me to consider that ambiguity at all. which was a really nice thing for me to discover!

and tbh—did using ed to deconstruct The Model Victim even factor into the writers’ agenda?? ive got no clue. im guessing no? ??maybe?? probably not?? but if you create a main character whose central premise is that he feels trapped in a performance of exaggerated masculinity that he’s desperate to escape, and then you set him up with a character premised on embodying a tangible obstacle against that escape, then i guess that’s the natural shape your story’s gonna be inclined to take

#man thats a lot of words when i couldve just said ‘im not an ed apologist bc he has nothing to apologize for’ and yalld get the message #had to get it off my chest though #abuse tw #sorry about the verbosity Im Aware. Its An Ongoing Issue #this is actually after i went through and edited to make it as concise as possible #the good news is ive finally managed to limit myself to a mere half dozen commas per sentence #the bad news is all these words are mush in my brain now and i can barely tell if theyre actually saying anything #are any of these paragraphs related to one another? i dont fuckin know #i do know i agreed with them when i wrote them though #am i procrastinating in the tags because im nervous about posting this? maybe. shut up #im gonna go do todays wordle

[monsterkitties]

OLD fucking. olivia and aaron comic. like from 2019. annoying her on purpose. getting that goat. pulling all 8 of those legs. also sorry its kind of hard to read :')

#their relationship to me is like. they both annoy each other constantly (out of love) #they can both practice snarky remarks on each other because they think sarcasm and sitcom level insults are hilarious #THE ROAST #aaron davis #olivia octavius #THEIR FUCKIN NAMES RHYME OH MY GOD JESSE AND JAMES LEVEL RELATIONSHIP HERE #into the spiderverse #theyre both chest bumping going through the mcdonalds drive thru on foot #theyre both always in it for the bit #my art

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Not to continue my recent trend of oversharing on tumblr dot com, but I am very much struggling not to feel like I'm doing everything in my entire life wrong at present

#normal things to think after your doctor tells you you need to get a blood test re-taken bc you mistimed your dose #I'm just. I'm tired man. #I've been putting off a phone call for two months #i spend every day lately torn between do I need to go to hospital or am I just unfit and anxious #I rot and decay when left alone but also people are Too Much #I want to Create but I can't get started and when I do I'm just so disappointed with whatever I make #I'm exhausted but I'm awake at 4am bc if i go to sleep tomorrow will start and I'll have to do this all again #and I need so fucking badly for someone to just crush me so hard in a really long hug until my bones realign #and i need to find past me shake her by the shoulders and yell “you're fine! you'll be fine! cut your hair! eat your greens! #take up swimming and also some new pronouns! no one else will respect em but they're for YOU and so is the health stuff #please for the love of fucking god just look after yourself better than i did!“ #there's toooooo many fuckin holes in this sinking ship #I need a full body MOT and then to be cradled against the chest of a large gentle man for 12-36 hours #mr. bees speaks

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

As someone who’s acespec. Hate hate HATE when certain asexuals use “I’m asexual I don’t want to have to think about anything even remotely sexual! >:(“ as an excuse for their conservative purity culture bullshit. Girl there is nothing inherently sexual about seeing a man’s happy trail because he’s wearing a croptop. A leather daddy in a harness at pride isn’t the same thing as two fags fucking nasty in front of you. Neither is someone in a puppy mask. You’re just a conservative.

To be clear, it is absolutely valid and okay to be sex repulsed. It’s okay to be uncomfortable.

But it is NOT fucking okay to use your discomfort as an excuse for the same sexually conservative ideas that right-wingers hold and are ACTIVELY using against the queer community. You’re reinforcing the bullshit they’re spewing by labeling nonsexual acts – by labeling just EXISTING in certain clothes – as sexual. This is exactly the shit conservatives are trying to pull against trans people right the fuck now.

Pride month is about, among other things, queer solidarity. And right now we need that more than ever. If you’re going around complaining about being forced to witness other people just fucking existing in a way that you don’t like, then you’re part of the problem.

#needed to get this off my chest #because i've been seeing some fuckin BULLSHIT lately #ace rambles #asexual #trans #trans rights #pride #pride month #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #y'all can reblog this if you want #in fact i would encourage it

[tu-es-gegg]

I need to know,

Was I the only person who was thinking during the last episode of generation loss thinking, " This isn't the end, also long as we are watching the show will go on. "

Or am I just a tab bit insane?

NO YOURE RIGHT I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING BECAUSE LIKE;

Generation Loss (Gen 1), to me at least, was about the effect of an audience, what sort of things happen when suddenly a mass of eyes flock towards a person so suddenly, its so prevalent throughout.

It's a commentary on the media industry and how its focus seems to be ONLY the audience, not its creators. They don't have any problems torturing their subjects, forcing filters and inhibitions to act on a democratic whim, just so they can have an audience. But the audience is not exempt from being used by the industry either. The audience is a part of the social experiment, we are just as much the lab rats as the streamers are.

The ending of the 3rd episode brought that home for me because literally the audience is a perpetrator and witness to a poor guy's death. It's what the audience chose to do when they cant look away. It's what the audience will ruminate on as the credits roll with his dead body being zoomed away from. They can't stop seeing the corpse, the camera won't let them all the way until the end.

All the glitches into the "reality" were intentional otherwise the cameras would've panned away, cut to a technical diffulties break. But no, they showed the blood in Charlie's gut for a split second, they showed the characters freezing on hold as Sneeg is being reset.

The audience can't help but watch a comedy and a tragedy. So the show goes on with that in mind. They want the audience to laugh at the bits and jokes, they want us to cry and plead when our favourite character is threatened. The audience gives Showfall Media power when they react, when they give their eyes where they shouldn't be.

The only way it ends is when people look away, but Showfall Media won't let that happen.

#generation loss #generation loss spoilers #generation loss analysis #genloss #ask #lolsonic-idk-man #sorry im mentally ill #i need to get this out of my chest ive benn thinking SO FUCKIN HARD abt it #it reminds me of Nope in a way when it comed to this theme #of spectacle in tragedy; how the line between thrill and horror intertwine when it comes to like #serious tragedies and events anf that being exploited by greedy actors who want to profit from that spectacle #how trying to look at somethign so horrifying gives it power and such

[b1mbodoll]

to the rude fuckin loser that just sent me a mean ass ask 😭😭😭 are you not embarrassed? ur saying its embarrassing that im upset over hatemail but if you got that shit repeatedly im sure you’d be upset too…???

LOL and thanks for sending that in cus it just proves to me that ur nothing but a bitchless, friendless, fucking coward 😭 ur acting all tough and thinkin ur a hardass for sending alllll that bullshit on ANON!!!!! like youre a little loser, lets be so serious. i know it and so do you 😭😭 if you really bout this shit say it off fucking anonymous like a real bitch so i can block you 😭😭 talkin all big n bad just to hide behind the anonymous option 😭 yeah okay LMAO!!!!!! like why r u do scared to come off anon what am i gonna do to you ??? punch you with an EMOJI??? 👊👊👊 like lets be serious ur a cowardly fuckin loser ass freak with no life and ur taking it out on me 😭 jealousy is a fucken disease and for you im afraid its a chronic case 🫶

trying to shame me for having feelings and then proceeding to say you hope i end up in a ditch? ur fucking pathetic!!! and trying to invalidate my sexuality? 😭 bitch YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW ME!!!! god damn you are a fuckin weirdo. do not speak to me or step to me like you know me bc at the end of the day, you’re nobody!!!! you are not my friend, you are not someone that knows me, so dont act like you do. you have no fucking right to invalidate me or my sexuality i seriously cannot believe you’re really trying to speak for me and tell me MY SEXUALITY?? calling me bi and disrespectin me for WHAT?? does spewing hate like a miserable cunt give you such a rush? is that it? its so funny to me like as if id listen to a pitiful fuckin asswipe like you 😭

im so sick of you little fucking freaks trying to walk all over me just because im sensitive and kind. fuck you and ur fuckin mama bitch🖕suck my dick and kiss my fucking ass thank you very much.

#♡.gabi barks #sorry for being rude and uncouth 🤞 that shit just pissed me AWF #LIKE YOURE SOOOO FUCKING LAME 😭 SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST OMFG #what a fucking pussy like ur a joke #sorry to my followers if this seems mean but holy fuck that ask was genuinely awful and i didnt want to trigger anyone by posting it #blocked and deleted 🤞 if you still got shit to say dm me so i csn block you 🤞 loser #i am a sweetheart but im fed up like im done being ur punching bag i need yall to get a grip and just block me of ur this fuckin tight over #smut 😭 like baby howd you find me??? were u reading x reader fanfics ??? be honest its okay!!!! fuckin hypocrite

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

my friend is listening to tma for the first time and had a theory from like the 5th episode onwards that jon was a monster like the ones they kept reading about in the statements since he kept dismissing them/being skeptic (so obviously he knows something) and i don’t know how to tell him that the idea that jon was always a monster, that from the beginning he was less than human, is possibly the most tragic concept anyone has ever dreamed of.

#HE KEPT BRINGING IT UP AND I HAD TO ACT LIKE MY HEART WASNT BEING TORN OUT OF MY CHEST #tma #the magnus archives #jonathon sims #i can’t do it…. i know he was doomed from the start #but the idea that he was a monster as soon as he picked up that tape recorder is too fuckin much #🌫️

[brawlsbigbadonkers]

I’m so normal about earthspark brawl.

#transformers #tf #brawl #earthspark #it’s been a tough. ROUGH ASS WEEK. #but you know what? it’s okay. I will survive (after I stress my balls off) #anyway I love brawl and I was so happy (in destress ) to see him in earthspark #HES FUCKIN HUGE #I LOVED IT #SOMEONE PLAY SZA BIG BOY BECAUSE HE WAS BIG MY GAWDDDD YESSSSS #BRO WHEN HE SPINEBREAKED BUMBLEBEE I SHOUTED TO MY ROOF I WAS SO HAPPY #AND THEN HE HIT THE FUCK OUTTA BEE WITH HIS CHEST OF GAWDDD I LOVED THIS MAN #I felt like they got lazy with his fight because brawl can THROW DOWN and I was not feeling that In his fight #EARTHSPARK STOP THROWING IN CHARATERS AND NEVER USING THEN TO THEIR POTENTIAL #HE SHOULD OF BODIED BEE LIKE KILLLLL KILLLL #but brawl my darling I loved you for the few minutes you where In earthspark #HE DIDNT EVEN HAVE A VOICE #I hope he’s okay and then meets up with swindle…. #macadam #maccadam #ALSO WHERE WAS HIS BACK CANNONNNN #NEVER SEEN A BRAWL WITH OUT A BACK CANNON #COWARDSSSDS #IM NAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE BARS HOW DAREEEEEEE THEY #BRAWL BRAWL BRAWL #oh brawl i love you

[vcrnons]

mingyu's naked shoulder: several dead, many injured, at least 3 in critical condition.

#mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu gifs #svt gifs #seventeen gifs #my gif #*mine #yeah i deleted the other one and remade them smaller What About It #i spent too long staring at them and decided i did not like how they looked #struggles of the overthinker etc etc etc #i'm like. 60% happier with these?? maybe bc they're smaller they don't LOOK as dithered idk anyway. anyway im not gonna look at them any lo #longer than i have to bc he's causing me pain #gorgeous gorgeous man my heart pounds in my chest every time i see a single fucking LICK of his skin #i hate it here you big fuckin puppy <33333 #q

[blistering-typhoons]

I AM DISTRAUGHT

spoilers, massive spoilers under cut, also it's three am so-

- ALISON! PREGNANT! I'M SO, I'M FUCKING- IT'S A LOT IM SO HAPPYY

- her and mike deciding to go for gender neutral names? And mike casually saying baby cooper could change their name in the future? dead oh my god

- the 'ew thomas' count rose to dizzying heights this series, but spliced with that were genuine moments of pure joy at him also

- THOMAS SCOTTISH

- pat being impervious to alison's pranks was incredible, this man is the loml

- kitty's death made me cry, still coming to terms with eleanor's characterization, but i'm not mad

- also thomas going 'bitch' every two seconds had me shRIEKING

- clever girl

- pat and julian's whole north v south argument had me in legitimate stiches, and cap's contribution was so cute and wholesome, like a border collie

- robin this season made me cry almost every fucking time istg, i was generally a mess

- everybody! carrying humphrey about! Nice!

- walk in safe!

- kitty mimicking a pregnant alison was everything

- have to get this out before i combUST FUKIN CAPTAIN DEATH AND NAME AND FUCK YOU BEN WILLBOND

- sibling asked me to explain myself at this point and i genuinely had to collect myself for a mo i was so choked up

- fanny assuring him that he's brave

- pat's only wish to be with the others in the house

- im making a part two for this because my brain is melting so last two points

- only criticism is that it feels? oddly incomplete? i dunno, maybe my expectations were wired too specifically, but it feels lacking in some way, but ofc! There's a Christmas special still on it's way, so there could be some stuff getting fleshed out- but overall, something felt a little off but also i am an empty husk right now so

- and finally, simon's performance in the finale as julian pours his heart out to alison, the way his breath hitches at the full emotion of it and desperately trying to shoo it away- keep himself together, god that might be the finest bit of acting this whole show i'm not even fucking kidding, it rent an honest to god gasp from me, so fucking talented

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #bbc ghosts series 5 #bbc ghosts series 5 spoilers #god this aint even all of it #but im so exhausted #but i had a fuckin blast #a few things unsure in my chest #but still #my god what a ride #im so fucking emotional i miss them already

[thekingdomofdong]

i cant believe that the persona 3 remake bullshit is 70 bucks, fuck all video games

#i will never buy a game at 70 dollars let alone a remaster of a game u can play for free hehe #i saw it as 69.99 on steam and felt like someone just shot me in the chest #i wasnt gonna buy it anyways cause i have the og on my modded ps2 but christ what a rip off #i can barely understand bigger titles costing 70 now a days but a fuckin remaster lmfao get bent