#god i'm the worst

[youremyonlyhope]

Me at 2am last night: I’m gonna wake up at like 10am, maybe earlier, and then immediately start sewing some projects at 11am! I have iced coffee waiting in my fridge. I will get so much done!

6am: *Still awake, mad at the world.*

7:30am: *Wakes up, gets water, goes back to bed.*

12:30pm *Wakes up and gets confused at the time*

Me: Ok, this isn’t that bad. I’ll drink the coffee and have breakfast, then start sewing only two hours later than planned.

1pm-2pm: *Youtube and Tumblr*

Me at 3pm: ...Hmm... maybe I’ll just sew tomorrow...

#god i'm the worst #my therapist wants me to create a better sleep schedule and a schedule of getting up and out of the house #while i'm unemployed and applying to jobs and not having a normal human schedule at all #and i was SO READY to do that. #especially since i have some sewing to do for a community theater and i'm using the sewing machine at my late grandma's apartment #so i am leaving my apartment to do it and being productive in some way while unemployed #and yet. still no motivation to actually get up and leave and go sew #i have to go to a birthday party at like 7-ish so now at most i'll only be able to sew for 3 hours before i need to shower and leave #but 2 days ago i got a LOT done in only two hours of sewing. so. maybe i can do that again today... #ugh. ok. 3:30. i will get up. get dressed. go to my grandma's. at the very least sew the skirt that is a personal project of mine. #ideally sew that and part of one of the pieces i need to make for the theater #ok now that i've written out this plan i gotta stick to it

[dont-find-me-dude]

I was five minutes late to band practice, had a panic attack, felt like I was gonna faint, felt to embarrassed to go in and felt anxious for the rest of the day. How was your day?

#I also got called by one of the people and I already have phone anxiety #I don't know #I have to meet them tomorrow and I get why they'd be angry #God I'm the worst #i should go to bed #Not sleeping won't help me be less anxious and annoying #I gotta face the music at some point i guess #It feels like saying I had a panic attack would sound like some dumb excuse #It seriously is in the way of all my aspirations #And living in general

[stilitrash]

The dynamic I never knew I wanted but definitely needed

#finn the human #simon petrikov #fionna and cake #finn mertens #adventure time #I love you #Finn but for the love of God STOP PUTTING THIS POOR OLD MAN IN DANGER HE HAS THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL STRENGTH OF A BABY DUCK #I love how Simon just goes along with it even if it sounds like the worst idea ever #Finn is so warm and supportive and caring with Simon #I'm soft #he deals with the situation horribly but HE'S TRYING HIS BEST

[allysketches]

getting that season 3 angst possibilities out of my system... the usual fluff will be returning soon 🥹

lyrics are from 'neptune' by sleeping at last, give it a listen for the full heartbreak experience 🥺✌️

#good omens #crowley #my art #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #crowley x aziraphale #neil gaiman #anthony j crowley #good omens fanart #god i really do be posting at the worst times imaginable lately #oh well #I'm on a break from work #and as miss taylor swift says midnights become my afternoons

[callme-l]

People who haven't read the books don't know that they have just witnessed the birth of one of the biggest rivalries in the saga (Percy and Ares), second only to Zeus and taking care of his children

#percy jackson #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #ares pjo #ares percy jackson #zeus pjo #percy series #rrverse #the lightning thief #I know I'm late for the party #But :P #I was going to put Ares and Percy but I want to show who is the best #They rivalrie is just so funny to me #The god of the war just looked at this 12 years old boy that is too sassy and declared him one of his worst enemies

[strrwbrrryjam]

"we need more complex female characters," you guys can't handle molly o'shea, mary gillis, abigail roberts, sadie adler, tilly jackson, marybeth gaskill, karen jones or susan grimshaw.

#karen tilly and marybeth dont get it as much people are usually quite kind or just completely forget about them #but they are included too. with susan molly mary sadie or abigail they get the worst treatment #being called either a bitch whiny mean asking too much emotional etc #i can understand why people can't handle susan. sometimes i can't handle susan #when i see her sometimes interact with the girls or remember the fact that she killed molly i'm genuinely disgusted but she's more than tha #there are layers to her. she's like dutch yet people still like him and try their damnedest to defend him #people might be surprised by sadie being included too but god the hate that she gets from mostly men for being 'overconfident' is insane #you have complex female characters yet you refuse to either give them a thought or completely disregard them as one negative quality #and refuse to recognize that they are just as complex as the men in this game #treat them as such #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 molly o'shea #molly o'shea #rdr2 susan grimshaw #susan grimshaw #rdr2 sadie adler #sadie adler #rdr2 abigail roberts #abigail roberts #rdr2 mary gillis #mary gillis #rdr2 tilly jackson #tilly jackson #rdr2 karen jones #karen jones #rdr2 mary beth gaskill #mary beth gaskill #rdr2 van der linde gang #van der linde gang

[pathetic-gamer]

me, editing my own writing that I very much did in fact write

#my evil double is writing the worst sentences youve ever read #not me though. I'm god's favorite boy. #alan wake 2 #alan wake #☕️🥧 #writing stuff

[amarkofcain]

½ of the boys from the dwarf have gotten pregnant and i could make it ¾

#red dwarf #arnold rimmer #rimmer #sorry. and yet I'm not #most horrid pathetic morally bankrupt cretinous coward of a maggot to ever crawl up through the dirt. i am enamoured by him #this is without a doubt the worst thing i have ever made and it is 1:30 am #should i have gone to bed instead of making this? yes but it struck me like receiving visions from god #anyway goodnight this is also the realest thing ive ever made

[flimsy-spine]

my favorite madney scenes: [20/?] ⇢ Monsters, 3.06

#madney #chimney han #maddie buckley #911 fox #911 abc #911edit #madneyedit #chimneyhanedit #maddiebuckleyedit #*911 #* #madneyscenes #hi hello sorry for not posting for 2 days #i got really into iasip and realized the true meaning of brainrot and am currently having THEE Worst case of it no joke Oh My God #the ghosts of macden have Literally been haunting my dreams #that being said. posts might start to be more spaced out now #i need breaks sometimes guys. i'm only seventeen. there are LAWS!! #and also i've posted over forty times since december 1st so i think i have the right to a break without warning yes? good glad we all agree

[see-arcane]

God, this entry is really a master class in how to show the fallibility of a direct POV and how to tell the character in question is ludicrously oblivious.

The lethargy grows upon her, and though she seems strong and well, and is getting back some of her colour, Van Helsing and I are not satisfied. We talk of her often; we have not, however, said a word to the others. It would break poor Harker's heart—certainly his nerve—if he knew that we had even a suspicion on the subject. 

Jack. This man lived for two months with four active vampires. He knows. And he knows you know. He did not just magically un-learn all the facts and leave you and your idol alone on top of ‘Me, An Intellectual’ Mountain. 

Van Helsing examines, he tells me, her teeth very carefully, whilst she is in the hypnotic condition, for he says that so long as they do not begin to sharpen there is no active danger of a change in her. If this change should come, it would be necessary to take steps!... We both know what those steps would have to be, though we do not mention our thoughts to each other. 

Jonathan knows those steps too, Jack. He read about Lucy, Jack. He can tell when Mina is being Different, Jack. He knows what you and Abe are thinking of, Jack. 

We should neither of us shrink from the task—awful though it be to contemplate. "Euthanasia" is an excellent and a comforting word! I am grateful to whoever invented it.

Jonathan ‘Never Puts Down His Kukri Knife’ Harker is so glad you agree, Jack! Raise one hand against Mina and you’ll see just how into it he is.

It’s just...wow. Whether Stoker intended it or not, he perfectly encapsulated the ‘Would Never Make It to the End of a Horror Movie’ characterization. 

#I'm trying to give Jack some leeway here #Jonathan is probably using whatever parts of him aren't focused on Murder Dracula energy to mask the fact that #no; he is NOT Arthur Holmwood #he is NOT steeling himself to kill his wife #he is preparing for a worst case scenario the rest of the crew can't begin to imagine #or prepare for #god #jack seward #jonathan harker #mina harker #dracula #dracula daily

[introspectivememories]

#do you people read aoex with your eyes closed????? #if i see one more 'yukio is the worst brother ever!!!!' i'm going to go insane #he's literally 16 #like god forbid a child makes a mistake #god forbid a child breaks under the weight of expectations #like what do you even hate about him???? #the fact that he's mentally ill???? #that he's been in exorcist business longer than rin???? #'b-but he held a gun to rin's head' #he was literally going through a mental breakdown #i am going insane #i am the ultimate yukio defender #that's literally my son #i think youngest siblings should break down and go insane more often actually #aoex #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #yukio okumura #okumura yukio

[writeouswriter]

*banging fists on table* more mentally ill characters in stories that aren't just about them being mentally ill! More mentally ill characters in sci-fi, in fantasy, in romance and fun and high stakes situations and everything in between, as the heroes, as complex individuals, multifaceted and treated with respect, not having their needs and differences ignored or skirted around but, again, not having them be their only trait or plot point/entire premise! Please, I'm begging, on my hands and knees, there's a place for these topics and characters in realistic, reflective and literary fiction, yeah, but there's also a place in those magical, mystical, action packed, mysterious and alien worlds, give them to ME

#books #mental illness #mentally ill characters #writing #writeblr #not so much a problem with writers here but in books and such in general it's an impossible search #because you try and look up books with mentally ill protags and it's giving you either 1. the worst horror rep you've seen in your life #2. secondhand inspiration or pity p*rn #3. just irl biographical or realistic literary fiction which is not what i'm looking for at the present #4. either complete hollow cardboard tokenism or just barely true hc or etc. #&god forbid you try to find a character with psych*sis w/o it giving you killers or big plot twists where it was in their head all along 😑 #like i just i want a funky scientist studying aliens who happens to be b*polar #i want a fantasy adventurer or ghost hunter or etc who happens to be sch*zospec is that so much to ask 😔 #bizarrely hard to find male protags in this category as well? if you do have recs for scientists in fiction like this hmu 👀 #anyway and yeah yeah yeah write what you want to read I'M TRYING #i have all these guys i have this funky scientist but i have the illnesses™️ as well such is the world #so i want something to read or see like... now

[figsandphiltatos]

the raw power of gorgug and kristen synchronized second hand embarrassment is unspeakable

#okay i have more clips from this episode #i feel bad because emily and brian aren't in this one but it might be one of The Best in fantasy high #purely because lou is on an absolute TEAR #everything he does is fucking astoundingly funny in this episode #like he is on fire for real #god i love fabian he's THE WORST #his character growth in this season alone is astounding like in junior year he's sooo much better at just. not being selfish lol #love this guy love his fucked up family dynamic where his parents try to fight him to the death all the time #love the idea of being raised in a family where emotional vulnerability is almost always substituted for violence #i'm normal about him #fabian seacaster #kristen applebees #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year

[heymrspatel]

can we talk about this real quick? like can we talk about how ian's just lying there looking at his husband in their new space? were they chatting? quiet pillow talk? were they just being quiet and ian was taking it upon himself to fondly observe him? thank you for your time.

ray. you come into my house with this? fully knowing? the effect? it's going? to HAAAVE?! i see how it is...

i think it's a mix of all. i think they're absolutely floating in the afterglow. just taking their time coming down. caressing. quietly talking. taking their time with what they want to say. conversations about anything and nothing. "do you want pancakes tomorrow?" and "we have an easy work day planned" and "i loved how you touched me tonight" and "kiss me" slow, soft. little smooches. little giggles. long stares. easy smiles. heavy sighs. a 'baby' here. a 'big guy' there. i love you, i love you, i love you.

but, i know ian also took his time looking. just going over all those features he already has memorized. mickey's straight nose, his long eyelashes, his eyebrows currently at rest, his freckles. so many! lighter than ian's, but there all the same. his shiny black hair, his ears, his neck - faintly marked - beautiful, collarbone, shoulders, chest, belly, down down down... ian's hands slowly touching everything he's looking at. with his fingers tips, feather soft. mickey all floaty and glowy and warm, accepting it all.

so, yea. i think everything, softly and slowly.

#eepy baby! i'm fully wondering if you're still awake and are going to see this lol but here it goes 🤞🏼 #i wont yell at you for dropping this in my lap cause shhhh you're sleepy - maybe tomorrow 💙 #but thank you for making me lose it more than i already had upon seeing this gifset. i've seen what god has done for others. i simply ask.. #i love YOU! you get my silly words #also i would love for tumblr to stop deleting my ray tags. out of all the things this website has done. this is the worst. #whatthebodygraspsnot #asks #shameless #gallavich #ian x mickey #j ramble drabbles

[skulandcrossbones]

Oh dear, what are we gonna do about all this blood? — my liberation notes 1x02

#mlnedit #my liberation notes #kdramaedit #kdramadaily #kdramasource #giffing this show is so hard because none of this seems meaningful out of context #but god!!!!!! #it's about KNOWING each other its about seeing each other's worst moments first #it's about wanting to hide and hating yourself but having someone else See You and still like you and want to know you #he sees her shame and she sees his and it's this. this deep mutual understanding of each other from DAY ONE!!! #i'm so normal and sane about this show and about these two don't even worry about it i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine #originals

[bumblingbabooshka]

In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.

#it reminds me of that time in 'Alice' (NOT related as vis a vis takes place seasons BEFORE 'Alice') but when B'Elanna says Tom: #'practically assaulted me' Janeway's not taking it seriously at all she says 'that doesn't sound like Tom' and I was like CAPTAIN??? DEATH? #but again that has no bearing on this in-universe bc that hasn't happened yet. REALLY I'm screaming and crying about B'Elanna's self esteem #issues which Steth literally manifested the worst case scenario of #Tom's little gesture when he gets back also goes over so well bc of this in MY mind. #Tom wanting her and Tom being with her is something B'Elanna wants regardless of how he actually acts in their relationship #(as long as it isn't abusive). He rarely puts her first without prompting or complaining BUT...he's a handsome human guy who wants her to b #his girlfriend. Ostensibly. And that's a prize you wanna hold onto. #God I love B'Elanna............ #did she tell ANYONE or did she just sit with that interaction alone??? #her not telling anyone implies that she DIDN'T go 'hey that's not like Tom! I should inform the captain of this incident!' #and that KILLS me dude...she's not like 'Something's terribly wrong with Tom or maybe that's an imposter!' she's like 'Tom said/did that to #me.' SCREAMING. SCREAMING. TOM. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS /BAD/ WITH B'ELANNA.