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vanillanaps · 3 years

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What Once Was | Steve Rogers

Prompt - “He’s gone now and he died wondering where the hell you were.”

A/N - Thank you to the anon who sent this prompt in 😭 this isn’t my best but I still hope y’all enjoy :)

Category - fem!reader, angst

Warnings - Endgame!Steve, language, a funeral.

Word Count - 1.2k

♡♡♡♡

You could remember the last conversation you had with him as clear as day, almost as if it happened yesterday. Watching the large group of people wearing black amongst others wearing their respective uniforms to give him a proper send off, you thought back to that day. You sulked in your thoughts of feelings, thinking of how he could have been so for what he did, then be so bold to call and ask for you.

The sun had just settled and the moonlight was shining bright through the windows of the small Brooklyn apartment, being its only source of light. Steve stood across the room from you, leaning against the wall frame and his arms crossed over his chest and you sat broken on the couch that you both put in a ridiculous amount of money for. He didn’t have the courage for his eyes to reach yours and honestly, you didn’t know if you wanted them to. Not after what he just told you.

That lump in your throat was thick, stopping you from speaking because you knew the moment you did the tears that you were desperately holding back with fly loose.

“Please say something..” Steve spoke, eyes still glued to the floor.

You scoffed, clearing your throat as hard as you could, “What do you want me to say, Steve?”

“Something, anything?” He asked.

Taking a deep breath, you finally allowed your eyes to fall upon him, “Why? Did—did these last five years mean nothing to you? Are you not happy with me? All this shit we went through together and-and you just decide to leave?”

After the fight with Thanos and Tony returned to earth, you and Steve found comfort in one another. Confided in each other as you both felt useless, defeated and unworthy. And that comfort soon blossomed into what you would know as love. The way he looked at you, the way he held you, the way he’d kiss your lips with so much passion as he told you how much he loved you. How you were currently his world and if anything, he was glad to have you by his side.

But it wasn’t love, you came to realize in this very moment. His words sunk in. It was grief. Half of the universe had been dusted away and he used you to cope with the loss. The way he looked at you? You were the one of the only people he had left. The way he held you? To console himself in his failure. The way he kissed your lips? To give himself a distraction with the world falling apart at his cost. When he told you he loved you? Well he did, but not in the way you loved him.

“Of course it meant something to me!” Steve sighed, growing the courage to meet your eyes, “But, I have a chance..A chance to set things right.. A chance to do things the way it should’ve been in the first place.”

“And that means leaving everyone you love behind? Your friends, your family. Your best friend that you fought so hard for.” You were exasperated. You knew you were being selfish, but screw that. You had a right to be. You deserve an explanation, “What about me?”

Steve sighed, his head dropping once again, “I love you. I love all of you, I swear I do.” He started, chewing on his lip before finishing his sentence, “But Peggy’s the love of my life. I deserve a chance to be happy and I want it with her.” The tone in his voice was assertive. It was his ‘Captain America’ tone. He was serious and there was nothing that you could do or say to change his mind.

After a moment of silence, his boots clacked against the hardwood floors as he made his way over to you, bending down so his lips could be even to your ear, “Thank you for helping me these past five years, I’ll never forget them, I’ll never forget you. But my mind is set.” He spoke softly before placing a tender kiss on your temple, “I hope one day you can forgive me.”

Wiping the tears from your eyes as you pushed away the memory. You didn’t come here to reminisce. Hell, you didn’t want to come here. It had been months since you last saw them all. The moment Steve left your apartment that night, you packed a bag and got the hell out of town. Not being able to stay in an apartment that you’ve spent countless nights with him in. Not wanting to stay in a town that reminded you of him on every corner. You abandoned your duties, you abandoned your friends. Much like he did, but fuck how could you not? Steve Rogers ruined the scenery of New York, killed the connection you felt for Brooklyn. Now, it was just one big grey area that you never wanted to step foot in again. And after today, you wouldn’t.

You waited a little down the road in your car until the crowd of people in black clothes cleared out before you got out. Keeping your hands shoved into your jacket pockets to shield them from the surrounding cold air as you crossed the graveyard. Your heart thumping faster with every step you took before you finally got to the edge of the grave. The freshly covered up grave with a tombstone at the head of it.

Steven Grant Rogers. A friend, brother, husband and a Captain.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” An all too familiar voice rang through your ears.

“Didn’t expect to come here.” You replied, eyes not moving from the sight before you.

“I’ve been calling you for months.” Sam spoke as he settled next to you, his eyes also glued to the grave. He couldn’t believe Steve was gone either. He couldn’t believe that he had passed the shield onto him, “He wanted to see you.”

You scoffed and sniffled, shaking your head at Sam’s words, “I’m sure he did.”

He sighed, “I get why you’re upset. What Steve did hurt you, he hurt us all. Holding this grudge against him isn’t helping anybody. Steve deserved his happy ending.” You grimaced at his words, wondering if Steve ever even told Sam the reason you left that night, disappeared for months and been dodging everyone’s phone calls ever since. Did he tell Sam that he practically ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it or did Sam just think you were just sad that one of your best friends decided to leave you, “He’s gone now and he died wondering where the hell you were.”

Sam glanced over at you when he heard you sniffle. His eyebrows furrowed at the tears rolling down your cheeks, “No, he knew where I was. He just didn’t care enough to stay.”

“Y/n..” He called out.

But you stopped him, shaking your head, “It was good to see you, Sam.” You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you turned on your heels and headed back to your car. He was right, Steve did deserve his happy ending. Now it’s time for you to get yours.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers imagines #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers angst #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction #endgame!steve #steve rogers fic #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america x female reader

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verai-marcel · 2 years

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Vulgarity & Vows (RDR2 Fanfic, Morgan Twins x F!Reader, Chpt 1 of 2, 18+)

Summary: While the three of you don’t exactly have a traditional relationship, Arthur & Thorne decide that they want to be with you forever. But how will they show you the depth of their devotion?

Author’s Notes: Let’s bring this to a close, shall we?

Tags: morgan twins AU, smut, threesome, marking/hickeys, dirty talk, blow jobs, deep throating, a bit of name calling, wedding night, finale, MMF, double penetration, clothed sex, anal toys, creampie, other such naughty things that two men can do to one lucky wife, ridiculous refractory recovery

AO3 link is here, darlin’.

Word Count: 4216

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Chapter 1 - Claiming Their Wife

Some time had gone by, and your relationship with the Morgan twins was warm and comfortable, like a well-handled quilt. Even when things were tough and pickings were slim, the three of you took care of each other, supported each other.

The gang had fled the west after a botched job and had taken up residence in a small camping area south of a small town called Valentine. Everyone was working hard to make money, especially Thorne and Arthur. But even they had their limits. Thorne had forced Arthur to turn down a collection job from Strauss, knowing that they usually involved beating up poor people for little pay. Dutch had sent Micah instead, and made the two of them go on more jobs to make up for it.

You were also working harder, since now you didn’t have the same equipment you did before, having left some of the nicer items back in Blackwater when you all had to flee town. Washing clothing with beat up old washboards that needed repairing after every other use was getting to be a pain in the ass.

But despite all the stress, whenever you could see your men come back to camp, you always felt better. Thorne, with his seductive smirk and a naughty glint in his eyes, and Arthur, with his sincere gaze and warm grin, were your two soulmates. You knew that nothing would tear the three of you apart.

Granted, knowing that the three of you had this relationship, you had given up on having anything traditional like a marriage. But you were okay with that. As long as you were together, nothing else mattered.

***

The day started out just like any other.

Arthur and Thorne had gone out again, having been called out randomly by Josiah Trelawney. With that man involved, it must have been some kind of con job.

So you didn’t question it when the three of them showed up, all decked out in fancy clothes at the end of the day. The sun was setting, and Arthur and Thorne made quite the vision, riding in with the golden rays of the sun shining upon their clean, fancy clothes.

You walked up to them, cleaning your hands on your dirty apron. Your drab green blouse and tan skirt, both faded from multiple rough washes, weren’t much cleaner. Your eyes roved over their decadent looks, and you couldn’t help but glance over at Trelawny, who gave you a wink and a nod, as if he had cleaned them up for your approval.

Arthur was dressed in a very traditional tuxedo: black tailcoat, white waistcoat, shirt, bow tie, and black pants. He was still wearing his boots under those pants, but they were cleaner than you had ever seen them.

Thorne’s color scheme stood out more: he wore a grey tailcoat and pants with a matching dark red waistcoat and bow tie. It looked like Thorne had gone all out, getting a pair of brown tuxedo shoes to go with the rest of his outfit.

Your mouth watered just looking at them. You were so entranced by their entrance that you didn’t realize they were walking straight towards you until they stood right in front of you with matching grins on their faces.

“Wha… what is happening?” you stammered as you saw people begin to gather around you.

Together, Arthur & Thorne went down on one knee.

“Oh my god,” you whispered.

“Darlin’, you’ve been the greatest blessing on us two dumb idiots that we could ever hope for,” Arthur said reverently.

Thorne continued. “And we dare to believe that we could make you even a little bit as happy as you’ve made us.”

“Will you marry us?” they asked together, each of them holding out a ring.

Afraid to hug them because of your dirty clothes, you dropped to your knees in front of them and held your hands to your mouth, trying not to cry.

“Yes, yes, of course!”

There was cheering all around, and the twins each put a ring on both of your ring fingers, Arthur’s on the left, Thorne’s on the right. They helped you up to your feet and each of them kissed your cheek.

Swanson came forward and clapped both men on the shoulder. He reeked of alcohol, but he still managed to affect some kind of vow exchange as the three of you stood together, your hands held gently by your men.

After the vows and another round of cheers, Tilly came forward and brought you a bag. “A change of clothes for the morning.” She winked. “Go enjoy yourself tonight.”

“Tonight? What do you mean?” you asked, just as Arthur and Thorne came over to you. Arthur took your bag, and Thorne picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

“You barbarian!” you screeched, but you were unable to keep yourself from grinning.

“We’re claimin’ our woman,” he decreed before he looked back at the crowd. “Don’t wait up for us,” Thorne yelled to them as he sat you on his horse. He climbed up into the saddle, and with barely a moment for you to wrap your arms around him, he sped off into the waning light of the sun towards town with Arthur following close behind.

***

The clerk insisted that you had booked the most lavish hotel room in town, but it was really just a slightly larger room with a slightly larger bed. But that was enough for you. While you and Thorne were getting settled into your allegedly lavish room, Arthur snuck up the backstairs to come inside.

“Cheaper if he don’t know there’s three of us,” Arthur explained as he locked the door behind him. As he walked up to you, he shared a look with Thorne, and the two of them nodded and took off their jackets.

As you reached up to undo your blouse, Thorne gently took hold of your wrists.

“Don’t move a muscle, sweetheart.” He guided your hands back down to your sides and moved to stand behind you, his hands gliding up and down your sides.

“We’ll take care of ya,” Arthur added, stepping forward to stand in front of you. He reached up to unbutton your shirt slowly, taking his time to reveal your skin to his hungry gaze. Halfway down, he spread the fabric apart, his fingertips brushing the cotton chemise beneath.

“So damn pretty,” he murmured before continuing to undress you. Once your blouse was undone, he slipped it from your shoulders and let it fall to the ground. He quickly returned his hands to you, rubbing your arms with his warm palms. Stepping closer, he kissed your forehead, your cheek, the tip of your nose, the corner of your mouth. Then he pulled back and just looked at you, a soft grin on his face.

“I could just look at ya all night,” he said reverently.

“Well I can’t,” Thorne said. You felt his body heat at your back and took a step back to get closer to him. His hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you the rest of the way against his body. You immediately felt his desire for you, hard against your rear end.

Thorne’s lips grazed the back of your neck. “I need to fuck my beautiful wife.”

Arthur scoffed. “You mean our beautiful wife.”

“You said you could just look all night,” Thorne sneered. He swiftly turned you in his arms and pulled you flush to his hard body. Staring down at you, he continued to taunt Arthur. “You can just look while I make her sing my name.”

You almost felt Arthur’s growl as a shiver down your spine. He stepped closer, pressing his own body against your back. His hips rolled against the curve of your ass, gently reminding you that he, too, wanted you with an almost feral desire; he was just better at hiding it. He bent down and gently bit your bare shoulder.

“Ain’t no way I’m missing out on my own weddin’ night,” Arthur said in a low tone. His lips traveled up the column of your neck before grazing the shell of your ear. “I need to mark my wife.”

You shivered from desire, feeling both of their hot, dark stares directed straight at you. Suddenly both of them had their hands on you, caressing your skin as they removed your chemise, sliding the fabric down your body, their fingers teasing your nipples and gliding along your waist. As one man removed your skirt, the other was immediately undoing the ribbon of your drawers, sliding those down as well, until you had on only your stockings.

Arthur put his hands on your hips and turned you around to face him again. His attention lingered on your face for a few moments before his gaze traveled lower. Without a word, he leaned down to kiss the mound of your left breast, his hands reaching up to cup them, giving them a soft squeeze before he lifted one up and began sucking on a nipple. He pinched the other one between his thumb and forefinger, grinning against your skin when you moaned.

Not to be outdone, Thorne snaked his arm around you, his hand delving between your legs to find your core. He slid two of his fingers along your slit and pulled them away, a trail of slick dripping from them.

“Lookit’chu, so wet already,” he murmured into your ear. “What a slutty wife.”

You moaned at Thorne’s dirty talk. You wouldn’t tolerate such demeaning words from anyone else, but from Thorne, they just turned you on.

Then you felt a sting on your chest and gasped. Looking down, you saw Arthur sucking on your skin. With a small pop sound, he pulled away, leaving a darkened bruise on your chest, right above the curve of your bosom. He looked up and met your eyes.

“Just markin’ what’s mine,” he rumbled before he went for your neck, his lips working your skin.

A low growl from behind you was your only warning before Thorne’s mouth closed in on your neck as well. They both kissed and licked and sucked on your neck and shoulders, leaving little red marks all over you.

“Your little moans are wonderful,” Thorne said as he pulled his head back from the latest mark on your shoulder. “I wonder how much louder you can be.”

He led you backwards until he reached the bed. Sitting down and taking you with him, he wrapped his arms around your torso so he could cup your breasts in his big hands.

Arthur stood before you, watching as Thorne spread your legs open to him, hooking your legs over his knees. His breathing was labored, and he stared as if he was trying very hard not to lose control of himself.

“Prettiest sight I’ve ever seen,” Arthur muttered as he knelt down before you. He loosened his bow tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt before taking your legs and draping your knees over his shoulders. His hands gripped your ass and lifted you up and towards his face, while Thorne moved his legs to support your back, your head propped up against his hard stomach. His hands continued to tease your nipples while Arthur leaned in to kiss your nether lips.

His first lick along your slit made you sigh happily. His second made you moan. Then he growled low before taking your center between his lips and sucked and lapped at you like a man starved. Your hands shot out and dug into his thick hair, reveling in its softness as you tossed your head around, losing yourself in fevered ecstasy.

“Arthur, oh my lord, Arthur,” you cried out as he stuck two fingers into your core.

Above you, Thorne had let go of your breasts just long enough to loosen his bow tie as well. He undid the first button of his shirt, then grinned down at you. “You look like a fancy lady of the night for us two gentlemen.”

You laughed and moaned at the same time, Arthur continuing to eat you out mercilessly.

“I think our lady needs release, don’tchu think?” Thorne said with a smirk.

Arthur hummed in agreement, the vibrations driving you ever higher.

Thorne’s hands returned to your breasts, cupping them while his expert fingers pinched and pulled at your sensitized nipples. As your breathing became more ragged and your hips began to buck against Arthur’s face, Thorne held your neck in one big hand and forced you to look up at him. His eyes were intense, focused completely on you.

“Let go, sweetheart. Show me yer release.”

You screamed, climaxing hard against Arthur’s mouth, your body trembling as wave after wave of pleasure pulsed through you. You clenched hard around Arthur’s thick fingers as he continued to pump them in and out of you, his tongue pressed against your center while you came. He gave you one last lick just to make you whimper helplessly. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, Arthur moved back, caressing your thighs as he stood up.

You whimpered again, already missing his closeness.

“You need more, darlin’?” Arthur asked. You could see his manhood pressed against his fly as if it was trying to escape. He stroked himself through the cloth and grinned at you.

“Please,” you begged as you unconsciously reached for him.

Thorne distracted you by sliding one hand down your body, stopping when he reached the junction between your legs. A smile spread along his seductive lips as he languidly drew a finger up and down your labia. Then he casually circled your clit, not quite touching it.

“Yer makin’ her so needy,” Thorne said to Arthur, his fingers delicately tracing the shape of your ear. “Just the way we like our girl,” he added with a smirk.

Then Thorn pulled you up and deposited you face down on the bed. Your legs were hanging off the side, and you quivered with anticipation as you looked behind you.

Thorne smiled at you as he gave you a light smack on your backside. “I see you shakin’, sweetheart.”

You watched him undo the button fly of his dress pants, purposefully slow to taunt you. His knuckles brushed against your skin as he freed his shaft, giving himself one long stroke. Leaning forward, he pressed the tip of his manhood against your wet core and stayed still.

After what felt like an endless, torturous moment, you couldn’t wait any longer and shifted your hips towards him.

The sting of his spank came like lightning, so fast that you didn’t see it coming. Letting out a surprised yelp, you glared back at him. “Thorne!”

“I’ll give it to ya when ya beg nicely fer it,” he chastised, pressing you down with one hand on the small of your back. “So start beggin’.”

“Please Thorne, please take me,” you keened, immediately giving into his demands. You know he would give it to you so good if you were obedient.

Thorne chuckled. “Good girl,” he murmured. Leaning forward, he let his own weight pushing his cock into you, slowly penetrating an inch at a time. He took his time, moaning softly when he finally hilted inside of you. “Our sweet wife.”

Then Thorne grabbed you and shifted you to the corner of the bed so that your head and your left arm were hanging off the foot of the bed. Arthur walked up towards your face, his hands working his button fly. You salivated at what was to come and opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out.

“Lookitchu,” Arthur marveled, pulling out his cock and stroking it slowly, just out of your reach. “Ready fer two cocks, ain’tcha?”

“Yes, please, let me taste you,” you pleaded.

Arthur quietly laughed as he closed the distance and pressed the tip of his cock onto your tongue. You greedily sucked him into your mouth, your left hand wrapping around the base of his shaft as you worked the head of him with your tongue. One hand gently held the back of your head as his fingers carded through your hair.

“So fuckin’ hot,” Thorne groaned, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he started to rut into you. “Seein’ our slutty wife take two cocks so good, fuck.”

The room was filled with only the sensual moans and cries of the three of you giving into your lust accompanied by the wet sounds of you pleasuring Arthur, moaning around his thick shaft in your mouth. As you hummed around him, his grip on your hair at the base of your head suddenly tightened, keeping you from moving. Surprised, you stopped your humming right before his hips started to thrust into your mouth.

“Stay just like that, darlin’,” Arthur crooned as he fucked your mouth. “Look up at me.”

You did as he commanded, watching his eyes darken with desire as he slowed his movements, gently pushing himself deeper into your throat. Arthur looked so sexy at that moment, his shirt unbuttoned, his hair disheveled, his bow tie askew. He had rolled up his sleeves, and for a moment his head leaned back, his eyes closed and mouth open as he breathed your name like a prayer. You were never scared when Arthur was taking your mouth; he was always careful with you and treated you like a goddess. After a few slow, deep thrusts, he slowly pulled himself out of your mouth, giving you a wondrous smile.

Before you could say anything, you were suddenly wrapped up in Thorne’s arms. He easily lifted you up and shifted you again so you were fully back onto the bed, laying on your belly with only your feet dangling off the side. In a flash, he was upon you, his knees spreading your legs wider apart before driving his cock deep into your pussy in one passionate thrust. He wasted no time continuing to ravish you, crushing you under his weight. His arm wrapped around your neck to grip your shoulder while his other hand dug into your hair and pulled your head back.

“Yer goin’ to take my spend, ain’tcha, my sweet wife?” he asked with his lips against your temple, knowing what your answer would be.

“Yes, yes, give it to me!” you cried out shamelessly.

Thorne roared with triumph, his hips crushing your ass, the fabric of his pants rubbing against your skin as he filled you with his spend. He gave you a couple more shallow thrusts, just to make sure he got himself deep inside of you, then held himself still as he caught his breath. A satisfied groan followed by a few soft chuckles were all he could manage for a minute before he rolled off of you.

“My turn,” Arthur said as he sat on the bed next to you. You could barely move your head to look up at him, but you didn’t need to. He manhandled you into his lap, spreading your legs to straddle him as he lowered you onto his cock, spend dripping down your thighs. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close.

“Gonna get his pants all messy, dirty girl,” Thorne taunted from where he lay on the bed, watching you as Arthur held your hips. Your legs trembled as the head of his cock rubbed against your clit.

Ignoring him, Arthur looked up at you with his intense gaze. “Guide me in, darlin’,” he said softly. You focused on his encouraging hums as you leaned back, reached down, and grasped his thick shaft. You held it steady while you lowered yourself onto him.

“Feels so good,” he rumbled, looking down where he was entering you. He gave you another few moments to take him in further before laying back on the bed, his grip on your hips tightening. “Can’t wait, any longer, princess.”

Suddenly his hips surged upwards, filling you so completely that you lost your breath. He launched into a rapid rhythm, a combination of his own thrusts and moving you up and down his cock like a rag doll. You leaned back, gripping his thighs for dear life while he fucked you, his muscles flexing under your hands. His biceps stretched the fabric of his shirt as he lifted you easily, like you weighed nothing at all. All you needed to do was hold on for the ride.

Arthur’s grip shifted as he laid back on the bed, pulling you down with him. Laying you across his chest, he wrapped his arms around you, one hand grabbing your backside, the other burying into your hair. He pulled you in for a rough kiss, his whiskers brushing against your cheek. The texture of his vest and shirt tickled your bare breasts, heightening your sensitivity. Somehow, the juxtaposition of his fancy clothes and your nudity made your situation all the more erotic.

You distantly heard Thorne shifting off the bed. “Hold’er still fer me,” he ordered. “I need to fuck her ass.”

Arthur growled. “Worst timin’.” Yet he suddenly held you still anyway, his member deep inside of you.

You felt Thorne behind you, the edges of his open vest and the cold metal of his button fly grazing your rear. With the familiar sound of a small jar opening, you knew it was the ointment that he always seemed to have on his person. It was as if he wanted to be able to fuck your ass at any time. It certainly felt that way with his eyes constantly glancing down at your rear whenever he got the chance.

Thorne rubbed some of the lube between his fingers, warming it up before brushing your rear hole. He slowly stretched you with one finger, and then two, making sure you were slippery enough for him.

All the while, you were looking down at Arthur, who could see every reaction on your face. He let out a guttural moan when you clenched around his cock at Thorne’s intrusion.

“Fuck, yer squeezin’ me real tight, darlin’,” he gasped.

You grinned. “But you like it that way.”

Arthur could only smile back at you before he let out a low rumble, pulling you down for another kiss.

Distracted by Arthur’s possessive growls, you weren’t quite ready for Thorne when he pressed the head of his cock against your rosebud. You cried out, muffled by Arthur’s mouth.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” Thorne murmured as he pushed slower. You did as he commanded, relaxing your muscles and letting him penetrate you. Feeling filled up in both of your holes, you lifted your head and took deep, slow breaths until Thorne was fully inside of you.

“Oh lord,” you sobbed. No matter how many times you took both of them at the same time, it was always a gloriously transcendent experience. It was like you finally felt whole.

Thorne’s hand gripped your neck, careful not to put any pressure on your windpipe, and pulled your head back, forcing you to look up at him. His other hand dug into your hair and held you by the base of your head, not pulling your hair, but possessively gripping you.

“Say our names.”

“Thorne, Arthur,” you whined.

He smirked. “That’s right.” He started to move, and together they fucked you in tandem, rendering your mind utterly blank. All you knew was their shafts pumping in and out of you, their hands grabbing you, holding you. Their mouths grazed your skin, and they both left love marks on your neck and shoulder and chest. You felt wholly possessed by them and you loved it.

“Yer ass is so tight, goin’ to drain me,” Thorne groaned.

Arthur only grunted before gripping your hips and pumping up harder in small thrusts. Ever the gentleman, he reached down and stroked your center in time with his thrusts, watching with an intense lust as you spiraled towards your climax.

“Arthur!”

Thorne’s hand tightened slightly on your neck.

“Thorne!” you cried out as you looked back up at him.

He pulled you back and growled in your ear. “Let go for us, sweet wife.”

His command was enough to make you shatter, your body quaking with the power of your release. Pleasure shot throughout your entire body. It felt like waves of unending warmth spread from your center, making you feel incredibly euphoric. Your body clenched around the cocks that were possessing you, and you heard both Morgans moan with pleasure.

Thorne let out a low bellow and slammed his hips against you, releasing his spend deep in your ass, just as Arthur called your name, his cock twitching inside of you as he finished within you.

Thorne slipped out of you nearly immediately, collapsing beside you. You weren’t sure how long you lay on top of Arthur, but at some point, he rolled the two of you over so that you were nestled between him and his twin.

“Darlin’,” he rasped, caressing your arm. “You alright?”

You nodded, barely able to keep your eyes open.

Thorne chuckled beside you. “Let’s get you cleaned up and tucked in, sweetheart.”

You grunted in an unladylike manner.

Arthur and Thorne both kissed your cheeks.

“That’s our wife.”

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Chapter 2 will come when it’s ready... (but of course, reblogs & comments will make it ready faster, just sayin’.)

#arthur morgan #thorne morgan #Morgan Twins au #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #fanfic #writing #lemon fanfic #nsft

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your-brilliant-lady-m · 3 years

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Part 1 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Miraculous Jewels

Alright! I promised you meta and now I deliver!

I feel like people mostly watch Miraculous for the romance these days. Shipping is all everyone cares about. I wonder why? Probably because writers themselves don't take their worldbuilding very seriously and because they don't put much effort into making the audience care about something other than Love Square, like the mythology behind the Miraculous, or motivations of the main villain, or some pretty heavy topics for a kid's show that they bring up and then refuse to touch again. You know, all the good things. And this is coming from someone who is a passionate multishipper. I have lived through several shipping wars in different fandoms and came out victorious after all.

I am probably the only person out there who cares about the big picture, the overall storyline and the worldbuilding of Miraculous in addition to all details and implications that could develop into fascinating plotlines relevant to the main story. It is a rather lonely fandom experience, I must confess. But, hey? Who cares? I am here to have fun and bring to the table discussions no one wants to have.

So, let's talk about the basics.

If you, as the writing team, are capable of keeping only 1 thing consistent, then please, I beg you, let it be the basic concepts of your universe. Because in this case, one has to actively put effort into writing characters and conflict resolutions badly. And also because nothing can save bad worldbuilding.

I don't have high worldbuilding standards for Miraculous. They certainly aren't as high as the ones I had for Legend of Korra (which was a badly written trainwreck, that ATLA doesn't deserve as a sequel) or the ones I currently have for Dragon Prince. Therefore I won't be too harsh in my criticisms. Granted, I think that Miraculous has better worldbuilding and lore consistency than Winx Club for example (I haven't seen the reboot yet, so writers might have fixed their worldbuilding at least a little bit). Even though I enjoyed Winx when I was younger and some elements of this story still attract me.

Both serialised and episodic shows as well as movies to the lesser extent must have some flexibility in worldbuilding and plot because you can never be 100% sure where your story is going. Maybe, you'll get money for more seasons, maybe not. However, you must never lose sight of your basic concepts. They have to stay the same no matter what, because rewriting lore and retconning major developments every new season is not and never will be called good writing.

Forgive me for using architectural metaphors, but you need a solid foundation to build any kind of structure. Otherwise, everything falls apart.

I like to apply this logic to writing as well. When designing a world where your story takes place, you must lay a few ground rules. It's especially important if you have a magic system. What kind of ideas absolutely must exist? What kind of conclusion do you want your story to have? Does your magic system has limitations? Where is the grey area? Could you introduce new elements later on?

And I feel like the writing team of Miraculous Ladybug did not ask these questions. This may feel like I am nit-picking canon material and looking for problems that simply aren't there, but I promise that I am not. You see, things that I am about to point out only seem small at first glance. But these details are actually the source of the largest plotholes in the series. And their presence negatively affects character development, conflicts and resolutions of said conflicts.

That doesn't mean that I have nothing good to say about the magic system of the show and its elements. There are a lot of great ideas and concepts. And some of them have the potential to contribute to the delightful story.

Let's dive right into it, shall we?

Camouflage

I have to give credit where it's due because the idea of camouflage and shapeshifting for Miraculouses is brilliant. It seems like Miraculous can't fundamentally change its type of jewellery or accessory. The ring will always be the ring but with a different ornament, colour or shape. This is true most of the time (Monkey Miraculous is an exception since it transformed into earplugs/headphones/headband/circlet) It makes sense and avoids plotholes. Grimoire doesn't have the pictures of each Miraculous in disguise for identity protection. That was very neat too. I have no comments. This concept was very good.

Also, since Marinette wore a nose ring of the Ox in "Kwamibuster" without any problem and Adrien wore Ladybug's earrings in "Reflekdoll", we can assume that you don't need to have piercings to wear a Miraculous. Miraculous just magically passes through your skin.

I'm interested to know the following. Can Kwamis recognise a camouflaged Miraculous on a person? Can the holder order them to confess the identity of this person? This shouldn't be possible for identity protection just like with Kwamis sensing each other. But more on that in later posts.

Power Levels

For a long time, we assume that there are only 7 Miraculouses. Turtle belongs to Master Fu, Gabriel has Butterfly and Peacock, Marinette and Adrien have Ladybug and Black Cat. Everything is pretty straightforward. Then it's revealed that there are more jewels and more boxes. It makes the worldbuilding interesting, but it also majorly complicates things, making them inconsistent.

Their position in the Miracle Box implies their power levels. Creation and destruction are the most powerful forces in existence, therefore they are at the top. Moreover, it makes this Box the most important, the most powerful out of all others. Su Han in "Furious Fu" calls it "Mother Miracle Box". Fox, Turtle, Bee, Butterfly and Peacock have less power than the main pair, but more than the Miraculous of the lower Zodiac tier (since they correspond with animals of the Chinese Zodiac).

1. Ladybug can create anything out of nothing (Lucky Charm, which gives what you need the most at the moment). This Miraculous can resurrect the dead, reverse the effects of the Cataclysm. The power of Miraculous Cure or Miraculous Ladybug can work in several ways:

it simply repairs the damage (puts stuff back together, heals injuries and so on)

it reverses time for the matter, restoring things back to the state they were before the destruction occurred (however, the Cure doesn't erase people's memories of everything that happened unless they were mind-controlled, frozen in place or transformed by Akuma into something else - this is an important point that I'll discuss some other time)

How does Miraculous Cure work when there are no supervillians? In NY Special Marinette just says this.

Excuse me, what? What was that? You can't do anything when the villain is gone? What the hell?

*insert here every scene where Ladybug fixed Paris after destroying akumatized/amokized object (this action causes the Akuma victim to detransform/sentimonster to disappear - villain is gone) and purifying butterfly and feather*

It was such cheap angst. I couldn't even be upset when Adrien gave up his Miraculous, because that whole situation is just stupid. But, never mind. We aren't talking about that today.

Apparently, Lucky Charm and Miraculous Cure only work when summoned to battle a specific villain. What is the point then? Huh? You can't tell me that Ladybug has the power of unlimited creation and then say that she can't repair the damage without a special Lucky Charm that was magically synchronised with specific big bad of the week.

Ladybug also can purify Akumas. It makes sense for Ladybug to have the ability to reverse the magic of less powerful Miraculous. But this power can't be applied universally. How does this power of reversal apply to different situations where there is no evil Butterfly holder? Can Ladybug reverse the magic of any Miraculous?

The unlimited power of creation introduced in season 4 ("Mr. Pidgeon 72") is another fascinating thing. On one hand, it's logical and proves the status of this Miraculous as the most powerful. On the other hand, by introducing this power, you have created a plothole. Look, Marinette can create the charm which repels Akumas. If Ladybug can create anything then what stops her from creating a tool for finding Hawkmoth (like special glasses for discovering identities or a compass)? I mean, the show says that the power of creation is unlimited, it means that the creation of such tool is possible.

2. Black Cat can destroy anything with Cataclysm, even other Miraculous. He can kill living things and turn them into ash, but not himself. This Miraculous is supposed to have other special abilities that we don't see. And they should be equal to powers of Ladybug, both in number and in potency. Unfortunately, after 3 seasons writers didn't give us anything. It makes laughable the idea of balance between Ladybug and Black Cat.

Now, to the second tier. These Miraculouses have a singular ability, but they need a second one to keep the power balanced between Zodiac and the main pair.

3. Butterfly creates champions with different superpowers. But how does the time limit of children work for Butterfly? In theory, the countdown should start right after the creation of the Akuma since for Ladybug and Chat Noir countdown starts after activation of their powers even if they don't use them. However, if the countdown of the Butterfly begins after Akuma creation then there's no point because the holder has to stay transformed to guide their champion. The charged butterfly won't have time to even grant powers before the transformation of the child-holder drops. This issue is never explored because Gabriel doesn't have a time limit. However, I feel like it should be addressed in flashbacks of past Butterfly holders for example.

This Miraculous should be less powerful than Ladybug and Black Cat. It's often not. Some Akumas are too overpowered. Stormy Weather can move the Earth away from the Sun, Timetagger can send people through time and jump through time as well, Chat Blanc destroyed the world with a single energy blast, Miraculer could steal powers of those more powerful than her by default. These are the most notable examples. One could argue that Chat Blanc was a different case. Hawkmoth simply gave the most powerful Miraculous a boost. However, we know that even without a holder (the wildest and the most powerful form of uncontrolled Miraculous magic) Plagg's Cataclysm can't destroy the universe just like that (he presumably wiped out dinosaurs and sunk Atlantis on his own without a holder). I think that the less powerful Miraculous (Butterfly) shouldn't be able to increase the power of destruction to such a degree and give Black Cat the power to destroy celestial bodies and galaxies.

Writers want us to see Hawkmoth as the formidable villain. But it's not easy because he is less powerful than your main heroes by default of your worldbuilding. Sometimes writers make the Butterfly more powerful than creation and destruction to raise the stakes, breaking the laws of their magic system. So, how do you solve this? Let Ladybug and Black Cat keep their status as the most powerful and instead of giving Hawkmoth more magical power, make him smarter, more cunning, inventive. Gabriel is a fashion designer, whose creativity makes him a very good Butterfly holder. He has a life full of experience, he knows much more about things than the main teenage characters. Catalyst was very interesting for this very reason. Gabriel sort of discovered a cheat code to boost his powers. Show us how he experiments with his powers, how he analyses his past Akumas and tries to find the most effective ones. Maybe Gabriel tries to design Akumas that can specifically neutralise Ladybug and Chat Noir. This exploration could also give writers an opportunity to explain how the powers of Butterfly work. Can he control the type of powers he grants? Can he control the appearance of Akumas? There are many things to be explored.

4. Peacock creates sentimonsters. I remember that fans were very disappointed when the power of the Peacock was revealed at the end of season 2. I was one of them. The concept of Amoks is far too similar to akumatized butterflies. Other Miraculouses have unique abilities and keywords for their powers, while Peacock just looks like Butterfly 2.0. That glowing mask effect just adds insult to injury.

You have to start by figuring out the powers of the Peacock in a normal situation. If a holder is a good person, then how does their power work? For example, make them related to sight (because of the "eye" pattern on feathers). Maybe, Peacock grants the ability to see the several possibilities of the future, but only a few minutes ahead. Maybe, this Miraculous gives you the ability to see through someone's eyes for a few minutes (and the victim is completely unaware of the intrusion). Perhaps, Peacock allows the holder to use feathers (or tiny peacocks) as cameras one at a time and be all-seeing. These feather-spies can be destroyed by the holder or disappear on their own after some time. Such power could be devastating when used against heroes in canon.

5. Bee can paralyze. This power is pretty straightforward. Once I read a fanfiction focused on very vell done Chloe Redemption, where she fights alongside Ladybug and Chat Noir. Eventually, she grows and becomes a better person. This fic ends with an Akuma battle, where LB and CN are trapped and Akuma is ready to kill them. But Chloe uses a second power of the Bee on the villain - Miraculous Stinger. It's deadly both for the holder and for the victim (because bees die when they sting someone). Chloe kills the Akuma with a Stinger before it can get LB and CN, but she too dies making the ultimate irreversible sacrifice. I will add a link if I find it again.

6. Turtle can create a shield. I don't have much to say on this either. It feels underpowered compared to others in the second tier. Maybe Turtle can also slow down opponents (because turtles aren't the fasters animals out there).

7. Fox creates illusions and acts as their puppeteer. In order to create a balance between other powers, these illusions must hold for as long as the holder needs them to. I propose this mostly because we see that Venom of the Bee lasts very long, the shield of the Turtle lasts either until it's destroyed or the holder wants to remove it, same goes for Akumas and sentimonsters who disappear only when the holder wants them to or their affected object is destroyed.

Let's talk about Zodiac tier. Miraculous of the third tier shouldn't have the second ability like more powerful ones. These powers are the most inconsistent. Even if we haven't seen all of them yet.

8. Mouse can create many small clones of the holder. It is unclear how these clones communicate with each other and how many of them this Miraculous can create. The holder can control the number of clones. This power was very convenient in "Kwamibuster" and it makes sense symbolically for the mouse. What activates the time-limit for children? Marinette didn't have any problems with it when she became Multimouse.

9. Snake can create a 5-minute time loop and has the ability to come back in time. This Miraculous feels a bit overpowered for the Miraculous of the Zodiac Tier. The holder can reset the time as many times as he/she needs to. It's was a good source of drama and trauma in "Desperada". I was honestly surprised that Adrien was capable of fighting after spending months in a loop. But this doesn't change the fact that Snake is overpowered. You can give this Miraculous the power to hypnotise or keep the time ability but place a limit on the number of resets. How does the lyre work as a weapon? Who knows? No one!

10. Dragon can shapeshift into elements: water, wind and lightning. It has the coolest transformation words hands down (Bring the Storm and Open Sky). Apparently this Miraculous doesn't have the time limit.

11. Rabbit can time travel or jump through alternative realities, even writers aren't sure. Time-travel in this show is so badly written it gives me a headache. This Miraculous shouldn't exist just like its powers. Snake belongs to the same tier, but 5 minutes and whole centuries of time jumps aren't comparable in power levels. They are not and this is the hill I will die on. Give the Rabbit powers related to its symbolism in China like an ability to de-age people, heal them or give them a speed boost in contrast with Turtle who might have the ability to slow down.

This Miraculous is so special that its Kwami - Fluff can live separately from his Miraculous in a Miracle Box for millennia (Fluff lives in the Box in "Sandboy", but his Miraculous, pocket watch, was passed down for generations in Alix's family). This is a discussion for a separate post, however. There's a lot to unpack. We'll do that some other time. You will suffer with me but at a later date.

12. Horse can create portals. They could lead anywhere, which is pretty cool. On the other hand, this power is not very useful in direct combat, especially when it's used by a child since we can have only one portal per transformation.

13. Monkey can cause a malfunction in powers of other people. What is the point of this? This power was specifically created by writers to defeat Akuma in "Party Crasher". That's it. What if your target is not magical? How does this Miraculous work in different circumstances?

14. Pig shows people their greatest desire. Both the holder and the recipient of this power can see this desire. Chat Noir wasn't impressed in "Guiltrip" and neither was I. It's underpowered compared to other Miraculous in this tier. Also, why does the tambourine can shoot energy beams? Why?

That's all I have to say on the matter. I'll update the power analysis as needed.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous analysis #miraculous meta #ml meta #ml analysis #miraculous transformations #miraculous critical #miraculous ladybug critical #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #mt of lb and cn #miraculous jewels

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betafibiiiiiivviiixiiixxixxxiv · 3 years

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Alright, this whole thing with Honey Impact is a clusterfuck, so I’m gonna make a rant (written with the help of friends) about it breaking every leg Honey Impact seems to think they can stand on. Buckle on in kids, because this is gonna be a long one.

Disclaimer: I am not a legal expert, but you do not have to be a legal expert to do some basic fucking research, which Honey Impact has clearly not done despite saying that they have.

First, it should be known that months ago Mihoyo released a statement asking people to stop supporting leaks and that they would be increasing efforts to deal with illegal disclosures of their unreleased content. This has been a long time coming, and honestly with the recent actions of leakers and/or dataminers, I think it’s deserved.

https://twitter.com/GenshinImpact/status/1372142018621706240

Second, unlike what many people seem to think, it is not unfair of Mihoyo to shut down Honey Impact’s site. It is within their rights. Honey Impact is sharing and profiting from content that does not belong to them. That is the bottom line of this. They do not own that content and they do not have the permission, nor the right, to share it.

Furthermore, Mihoyo did not go behind Honey Impact’s back to shut down their website. For example, if a streamer or youtube video infringes copyright, the company/corporation/individual/whatever entity holding that copyright would go to the highest power to tell the streamer or person who uploaded that youtube video that they’re infringing on that copyright, which would be Twitch and Youtube respectively. In this case, the highest power was the host domain hosting Honey Impact’s website.

https://twitter.com/HoneyDodogama/status/1436309421932548098?s=20

https://genshin.honeyhunterworld.com/2021/09/10/mhy-is-trying-to-take-us-down/?lang=EN

Heading on to the points from the 9/11 update Honey Impact shared on their website and on their discord blatantly trying to paint Mihoyo as the bad guy and claiming that what they’re doing is in fact not illegal and pretty much digging a bigger hole for themselves:

Here is where they claim they did some legal work to try and keep their website afloat. Honestly, it seems more like they were trying to find a way to keep doing their illegal work for profit.

1) In their first point, they claim that the Terms of Service (ToS) is not a contract. That is incorrect. It is a contract. You may not have signed with your name in blood, but you agreed to it when you checked the little box(es) to access the game because a digital signature is still your signature. If you agreed to the ToS and you violate it, you can be held accountable for doing so. What kind of legal work are you doing that you don’t even know this?

2) In this point they say that Mihoyo provides a software that requires Kernel level of access to your PC. First of all, you have to grant Mihoyo/Genshin this permission. It is like when an app on your phone asks you for permission to access your photos, your microphone, your camera, etc. Second, the Kernel level of access to your PC isn’t to steal and sell your information, install a virus, etc., but to enforce anti-cheat measures which is common in other games.

Furthermore, it has been adjusted to be as minimally invasive as possible and if they violated any rules or laws regarding invasion of privacy or if they made it so that your computer turned into a bitcoin farm, the Google Play Store and the Apple Store and other platforms would have removed Genshin Impact from their platform. (And Mihoyo would’ve gotten into a whole lot of trouble.) What kind of developer are you that you don’t even know this?

On top of their misleading accusations, they use cookie based ads on their own site. Aka the things that save and keep track of your emails, passwords, browser history, etc, and they sell it to the highest bidder without informing you of who or what it's for or giving you a single share of the profits they're making off the private information you have stored on your device(s) while accessing their site. So who is actually being invasive?

3) Honey Impact does give credit where credit is due with the watermarks, but they host ads on the website and they run a Patreon asking people to support them in developing their website. Which is very hypocritical of them since they themselves said that they make 10kUSD+ a month and stated that they don’t want people in their discord server to donate to them. They also beg for donations in their streams.

They are not only illegally distributing someone else’s content, they are also profiting from it. This violates the fair use clause of copyright law.

This is like people taking artists’ work and selling them behind their back. Even if the artist is making bank compared to whatever you are making, it is still theft of intellectual property. You are pretty much reposting art that the artist has said not to repost. You are a thief. What kind of content creator are you that you don’t even know this?

4) Unlike what Honey Impact has said, everything that is under the Genshin Impact banner, be it released content or unreleased is covered under the trademark that Mihoyo owns. As the owners of that trademark, they want Honey Impact to stop using their website to illegally share unreleased content that they illegally acquired.

Honey Impact also refers to their website as a fansite. But fansites generally aren’t for profit/have ad revenue, as profiting off of someone else's content goes directly against Fair Use, which they seem to think they are somehow entitled to if they scream about it loud enough…

Just look at the Genshin Impact fandom wiki. There is a reason why they do not allow leaked/datamined/unreleased content on their page. (Because it is illegal!!!!!!!) Also, since Honey Impact was using Fandom, the host domain of the Genshin Impact fanwiki, as an example of an entity making money off of official content: first, Fandom hosts a lot more fanwikis than just the Genshin Impact fanwiki (which, btw, has no for-profit ads), which culminates in a lot more overall traffic compared to Honey Impact’s site of stolen goods. Which means Fandom needs more money.

https://twitter.com/HoneyDodogama/status/1436990491942342662?s=20

Second, again, the Genshin fanwiki DOES NOT POST UNRELEASED/LEAKED/DATAMINED CONTENT ON THEIR PAGES. BECAUSE DOING SO IS ILLEGAL. I don't know why Honey Impact thinks the fanwiki has that kind of content on its pages, but it doesn't.

Moreover, about not being subject to the NDA; it does not matter that Honey Impact, or anyone else on their team, did not sign an NDA. The crux of the matter is that the stuff they’re sharing doesn’t fucking belong to them. It is still theft of intellectual property.

Furthermore, this is not a grey area in law. Any company/corporation/individual/entitiy with a copyright has the right to tell other people to stop using their content protected by that copyright if they so choose. There has been precedent for this. D*sney is one such example as is Anne Rice.

As for other content creators that aren’t dataminers and/or leakers, they have been sanctioned by Mihoyo to release the content they have been releasing. Don't drag down other content creators such as streamers, artists, fanmerch creators, etc as they comply with a very much public list of conditions that Mihoyo has published to allow them to LEGALLY profit. They make fun of Mihoyo’s legal department not even being able to make a clear paragraph in English, yet Honey Impact’s English isn’t perfect either. So what if Mihoyo can’t spell? Honey Impact apparently can’t even read.

5) What they are asking Honey Impact to do with their website is to follow the law. It is not some fraud company politics, it. Is. The. Fucking. Law. The reason they don’t want Honey Impact to have backups is because they’re not supposed to fucking have it in the first place. Furthermore, company politics has to do with what goes on inside the company, not what the company does to people/entities outside of it.

Ultimately, the stuff related to unreleased content of Genshin Impact Honey Impact has been posting on their website DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM. It’s bad enough that they were posting it without permission, it’s even worse that they were getting money for it.

Not to mention, with the way they have been acting, if you’ve been sympathetic and/or defending them, they really don’t deserve it. They added a pretty nasty disclaimer on their new website (which has since been deleted), which, by the way, can get them sued for libel, so that’s another charge on them, and also really shows how petty and childish they’re acting.

Moving on to how they claim they’re back, which at this rate won’t be for long, they say they’ve moved to an Amsterdam based server and that that server is non-DMCA compliant.

So Ionos, their former host server for their website, is, in Honey's words, "DMCA compliant" only in the sense that they take responsibility for the content posted on their platform(s) and domain(s). All that means is that Mihoyo has to go through the DMCA process with the company to officiate the start of the paperwork.

Moving to an Amsterdam server that claims to be "not DMCA compliant" doesn't mean they can't get struck by DMCA. It just means that the company disclaims any and all legal obligations regarding the content posted and it will be solely the content creator's responsibility. So all that means is that they'll get their DMCA even faster now because Mihoyo will not be legally obligated to send the paperwork to the hosting company before sending it to them.

By the way, DMCA laws are INTERNATIONAL. Just because you moved servers from the US to Amsterdam does not mean you suddenly do not have to follow DMCA laws. Also, Mihoyo does have a local EU branch to deal with such things in Europe.

#genshin impact #honey impact #rant

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rjalker · 3 years

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[ID: A flag with four horizontal stripes of: gold, rust red, very dark grey, and grey. End ID.]

class traitor flag for people with privilege who instead of upholding the status quo, help to smash it to pieces with a giant hammer even though it would benefit them to keep it the same.

it’s like the rebel sebacean flag from my dream except not as hyper specific

this flag is for people who instead of feeling guilty and getting defensive about their priviledge, not only accept the fact that they are privileged, but actively use their privilege to help others, even when it means having less fun or having to give up something you take for granted.

Are you lucky enough to have a yard where you can garden? start saving seeds and give them away for free. Seeds multiply exponentially. You can buy envelopes super cheap. Start saving seeds and give them to people for free. If beans will grow in your area, grow beans! They’re seeds and you can eat them! You can even give the actual fruits and vegetables themselves away!

Do you get an allowance? Are you allowed to spend the money on whatever you want? Are all your needs taken care of? Donate your allowance to a gofundme or other things that directly help people in need.

Figure out what priveledge you have and figure out how you can exploit it to help other people.

#Rjalker makes pride flags

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argumentl · 3 years

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The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 24, March 2016 - 5th Anniversary of 3/11, Human canvass artwork, Kyo hayfever, Actress childless by choice, Celeb Instagram spat.

Kaoru starts this episode by commenting that that it was the 5th anniversary of the 2011 March 11th earthquake and tsunami. Joe says that as well as visiting the destroyed nuclear reactor, he also spent time in Fukushima. He says that 5 years is a turning point for residents, because this is the point at which government financial grants run out. After this, the residents must support themselves. Having spoken to the locals, Joe says that even if support were to continue, it may not be efficient. The more time passes, the more difficult it gets to know if the support is getting to where it is really required. Locals have compained about the number of volunteers, for example. They don't need that many now. Additionally, there are many people in the area, especially the elderly, who really do need help, but who tend to shoulder their load alone, rather than reach out. For example, people who require help with transportation to hospitals etc. These people are not asking for money, which makes it difficult to know how to help. Kaoru stresses that no matter how many years pass, this disaster must never be forgotten.

Kaoru's topic of interest this time is the British artist Eliza Bennett and her work 'A Woman's Work is Never Done'. In this work Bennett used her own palm as a canvass to stitch in coloured thread, and it has recieved a lot of attention, some quite harsh. Joe asks Kaoru what he thinks about this. Kaoru says he's not entirely sure, but it seems like it wouldn't be possible without some kind of painful trigger, and she may have let it go too far. It looks almost like a highly-evolved prank. But at the same time, he's pretty impressed by it. The thought of sewing thread into your own hand is pretty shocking to him. He says that because of what he's done to his own body (tattoos), he is in no place to tell others what to do with theirs, but still, this makes him uneasy.

Next they are joined by Dobashi for the Tokyo Sports corner. Dobashi asks them both how they are managing with hayfever. Joe says he is fine. Kaoru says he usually suffers a bit just at the start of hayfever season, but after that he is ok. Dobashi says he has been trying out pollen desensitization therapy, and is nervous to see if it will actually work during Spring. Kaoru says that Kyo has tried the same thing. Having hayfever during lives is pretty annoying for him. Dobashi asks whether Kyo ever sneezes during lives. Kaoru doesn't think he does, but then again, maybe he does when he turns his back to the audience.

Dobashi's first news story is that the actress Yamaguchi Tomoko had done an interview for the womans' magazine 'Frau' in which she stated very clearly that she never wants to become a mother. Many of the magazine's readers agreed with her, making this a big talking point in the media. Dobashi says from one perspective anyone is free do as they please, and there is nothing really wrong with this decision, but on the other hand, Japan is facing a population crisis. Who will support the elderly in years to come? Should it be a responsibility to have children? Kaoru states also very clearly that this should totally be up to the individual to decide freely. He asks if anything happened to Yamaguchi in her childhood to influence her outlook. Dobashi says, her parents divorced when she was 6, her little sister was raised by her mother, and she was raised by her father. So she probably does not put much faith in the idea of a conventional family. She probably doesn't feel the need to have children, and feels happy without them. Kaoru agrees with this. Joe says that people have a right to be happy without being classed as a statistic in the declining population. People should not face this issue with indifference - it does need serious thought, but at the same time lifestyle choices should be respected. Kaoru then brings up the problem of the aging population, specifically recent news of over-stressed care workers abusing residents in care homes. What are they doing there? They knew what the job would involve. He feels quite strongly about this, but stops himself before he gets carried away with it.

Dobashi's next story is that the singer Oshio Manabu (formally convicted and imprisioned for drugs offenses) had posted a photo on Instagram of himself with his arms round the shoulder of soccer player Kashiwagi Yosuke. Kashiwagi had subsequently spoken out to the effect that, 'He's not my friend, I barely know him'. Oshio had then tweeted 'You liar!', or words to that effect. Dobashi says Kashiwagi is probably under pressure from the soccer association to distance himself from such dubious individuals if he wants to gain a more prominent image in Japanese soccer. Kaoru thinks this is pretty interesting, and wonders whether these guys are actually friends. No one seems to really know, but they look pretty chummy on the photo. They probably weren't the closest of pals though. Kaoru thinks they should have been more straightforward with each other if that was the case. Dobashi says he once caught up with Oshio in Narita Airport, while Oshio was on his was to Hawaii. At the time, he was dating actress Yada Akiko, but his management didn't approve of the relationship, which meant he could be fired if he persisted with it. Dobashi interrogated him about whether he was going to choose 'love' or 'Liv' (the name of his band). Oshio apparently laughed loudly at this. Kaoru thinks Oshio seems like an interesting guy, although he has never met him. He thinks sponsers are probably behind the pressure being put on Kashiwagi to deny association with Oshio. He says it looks kinda cute, seeing Oshio trying to up his image by posing with a J-league player.

To finish, Kaoru reads out some messages from listeners stating that despite many other fans saying they want some solo material from Kaoru, they do not want him to start a solo project, they think he is just fine in Dir en grey. Kaoru says he hasn't even announced any solo plans! But when he sees so many message with such strong feelings towards Dir en grey, he feels happy. Dir en grey is too busy, and song writing takes up enough of his time anyway.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression

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oss-crime · 3 years

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Chapter 3-Project “Ma” –Adam–; Scene 7

Original Sin Story: Crime, pages 116-122

Just as Horus had said, Seth appeared before Adam himself.

Only, there was no proof that he was the genuine “Seth Twiright”. He had just called himself that.

Still, given that he was the spitting image of Horus from his younger days, Adam and the other researchers were unable to bring themselves to rebuff him outright.

“…You don’t look all that different in age from me,” Adam said to Seth questioningly.

“I just look young. I studied under my mentor long before he became the head of this institute. …That must have been close to twenty years ago.”

That would make it over five years before Adam had met Horus, at least.

“So then…why come to the institute now?”

“Well, I just figured that you guys might be in a bind now that my mentor’s up and vanished. So maybe I’d be able to help.”

Judging from how Horus had spoken of him, he didn’t seem to feel too warmly of Seth.

That was possibly underlined by the fact that not only had the other apprentices never met him directly, but they hadn’t even known he existed in the first place.

It hardly seemed right to let such a man help in his father’s institute.

“…You’re not needed. All of our research is progressing steadily enough.”

“—Including the ‘Next Queen Project’?”

“…”

The “Next Queen Project” that he spoke of was something that only those involved in it knew about.

“I see…So we can be certain that you have a connection to my father, at least. So then—”

Seth raised a hand, as though to cut off Adam mid-sentence. “Ah, let me say up front that I am not his child. I get that a lot, since we look so alike.”

“Then—”

“Though I guess we might have some distant relation? Something like that.”

It was an incredibly vague answer.

Naturally, that wasn’t the only doubt that Adam had regarding him.

My father told me…that this man was scheming with Miroku to control my mother…

If that were true, did Seth know that Adam was the queen’s son?

“…”

He felt it would be dangerous to just ask him point-blank.

He couldn’t read Seth’s intentions.

And he couldn’t help but think that his coming to help in their research was also some means to an end.

But he was also someone who might have clues regarding Adam’s mother, who had come here all on his own.

It might not be a good plan to just send him back at this point.

“…Alright.”

For now, he would just grant Seth permission to enter the institute.

Seth didn’t just resemble Horus in terms of appearance.

He was also something of a “smooth talker”. In the course of several days he had managed to get on well with all the other researchers, and was accepted by them.

Seth’s knowledge on artifacts was enough to astonish even Adam. The “Second Queen Project”, which had indeed ground to a halt after his father’s death, was able to begin making progress again with just a little advice and a “present” from Seth.

“The ‘Seed of God’…What an extremely curious item.” Adam stared hard at the small black box in his hands. “What’s inside only looks like plain liquid at a glance. But it’s…most certainly alive.”

Seth quietly laughed, adjusting some equipment nearby. “It’s something I extracted from the ‘Sin’ below the temple of LeviaBehemo. These are most certainly some of the gods’ cells—Thinking on it like that, they seem pretty innocuous.”

“So you’re saying if we use this there’s a higher chance of creating someone with magical power on par with a god…But how did you come by it?”

“I’m good friends with the head of the senate. I asked him to let me into the underground section of the temple.”

“…My word.”

So Seth did appear to be scheming with Miroku after all.

“Then…did you meet the queen?” Adam inquired.

“…? Why do you ask that?”

“You went to the underground part of the temple…So then you would have had to pass through the ‘Hall of Glass’ on the surface. Where Her Majesty lives.”

“Ah…No, I didn’t go through there. There’s an alternate route to get to the underground area.”

“So you’ve never—”

“Never met the queen even once. I have no need to, for my research,” Seth replied brusquely.

“Seth. Your research…It’s into the legacy pieces, right?”

“Naturally there’s that too. But I would say…I’m far more invested in living things than inanimate objects.”

“Living things?”

“The analysis of things that are living, including humans. You could say this ‘Second Queen Project’ is in line with my theme as well…That’s why I’m helping out like this.”

Horus had also been a researcher who specialized in that field.

What was more, it was through banking on this and his being the foremost authority on artifact research that he had been entrusted with the position of institute director by Senator Vaju.

“Oop…There’s not enough reagent.” Seth opened the lid of the machinery before him and poured inside a grey liquid in a beaker.

“Then what about your knowledge of drugs?” Adam asked again.

“What a silly question. Someone without any knowledge of pharmaceuticals could hardly work at an institute like this.”

“Then what about, for example…a drug that can control someone’s mind—”

At that question, Seth stopped what he was doing.

Then he turned around, and brought his face right up to Adam’s.

“I’d like you to stop with these roundabout questions, Adam. You—want to ask me about ‘Venom’, right?”

“Uh…Yes, that’s right.”

The brainwashing drug, “Venom”, that he had made to control the queen…Adam had never thought that the other man would be so direct about confirming its existence, and so he replied in the affirmative with some consternation.

“Did my mentor tell you about it? …Yes, certainly, that was a fairly useful item borne from the fruits of my research.” Seth lightly jabbed at Adam’s forehead with his index finger. “The human mind is such a bothersome thing. To such an extent that from time to time even the person it belongs to can’t control it…But on the other hand you could say that this obfuscates the possibility of being easily manipulated by another person.”

“That would be quite convenient, if there were such a method…You could even rule a country.”

Adam had intended for his words to be laced with hidden meaning, but Seth either didn’t notice or simply continued on cheerfully while ignoring it.

“There used to exist people with special powers called ‘Inheritors of Levia’. A power titled after the name of the dragon god.”

“What kind of power was it?”

“A power that ‘could even rule a country’, as you say. In other words…the control of people’s minds.”

“But you said ‘used to exist’—”

“I did. The people who possessed this power have already died off…Or so it’s said. But I found one—the gravesite of someone who had the ‘Levia Inheritor’ ability!”

Adam looked at Seth’s excited expression with a detached gaze.

No matter how amazing their abilities, it meant nothing if they were already dead.

“I know, I know what you’re going to say, Adam…Here’s the important bit. I dug up that gravesite, and took the body back home with me. After I had then broken it down into very small pieces, I threw it into a test tube!”

“…You can’t be serious.”

“And then, after performing several analytical clinical studies, I was able to perfect ‘Venom’!”

Did that mean then that Seth had created a brainwashing drug out of a dead body?

“But if that’s the case you must have run out of materials fairly quickly. You only had the one corpse, after all.”

“Don’t take me for some common scientist! Through analyzing my results I learned how to produce ‘Venom’ using materials I can obtain around hereabouts! So—"

And there, Seth’s expression qiuckly returned to its usual calm, as though having regained his composure.

He continued, “—Well, I’ve never actually made it myself. I just have a recipe.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t I tell you? My field is biology. A brainwashing drug is outside my area of interest.”

He’d been unusually agitated over it, nonetheless.

“Then why did you make such a thing?”

“Who knows? …I guess just a whim.”

Adam doubted that.

I bet that…Miroku commissioned you to craft it to control the queen.

Was his reward money, or perhaps influence behind the scenes?

But this man, Seth…he didn’t seem to care about either of those things.

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wolveria · 4 years

Text

Unable to perceive the shape of you - Ch. 1

Pairing: Connor x f!Reader x Nines

Summary: After breaking the RK twins out of the MarineLife facility, you were determined to return them to the ocean before getting caught by your employer.

What you hadn't counted on were the brothers deciding you belonged to them.

Prompt: Mermay!

Word Count: 2.3k

AO3

The lab was empty and the only noise that filled the space was the gentle sound of lapping water. After a quick glance to make sure the techs had left for the day, you sat at the edge of the tank and pulled off your shoes and socks, dipping your toes into the chilly water. A sigh escaped you, the cold a balm against your aching feet, and the pain in your legs receded to a manageable level.

As if on cue, two fins broke the surface of the water, one stout and grey while the other was dark, elegant, but curled over as if it had lost its rigidness. They headed in your direction, causing ripples from the speed of their passing. Just as the disturbances reached you, they broke the surface, revealing twin faces with very different expressions.

The one with the grey dorsal fin chirped in greeting, brown eyes wide as he rubbed the side of his face against your shin like a cat. You smiled, just as you did every time Connor greeted you that way, and reached down to run your hand through his slicked brown hair. And like every other time, his eyes became half-lidded and a soft rumble came from his chest.

The other Ceta sapien with the dark, limp dorsal fin, his twin brother, kept at a tentative distance. Icy grey eyes, the color of stone in the dim light, watched with an unreadable expression. That was to be expected from Nines, but you knew him long enough to know that he was pleased to see you.

“Sorry I’m late,” you said as you rolled up your pant leg, attempting to keep it dry and away from Connor’s affectionate rubbing. “Had a lot of work to finish up.”

Your smile faded as you took in the sight of the contraption around his head; a metal cage that acted as a muzzle, forced onto him earlier that day by the technicians. Nines must have done something to piss them off again.

“I hope you didn’t bite anyone this time,” you said gently, fishing a ring of keys out of your pocket. “Not that they don’t deserve it. I just don’t want them to put you in isolation again.”

You held out your hand to show him the keys. “Come here, I’ll take it off.”

You’d probably get in trouble for it, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The only reason you were still at this shitty job was because of the RK twins. Everyone else treated them like curiosities at best, lab rats at worst. You were genuinely afraid what would happen to them if you left.

Connor rested his chin on your bare knee as he watched his brother cautiously swim toward you. His face normally didn’t have a huge range of expression, but you could have sworn the area around his eyes was tight with fear. That wasn’t like him at all.

Making sure your movements were slow and unthreatening, you reached down to the small padlock keeping the strap in place. The techs had put it there because Nines had figured out how to undo the straps and remove the muzzle himself, leaving it at the bottom of the massive tank so the divers would have to get it. Probably on purpose, knowing him.

Your fingers were careful as you removed the lock and pulled open the straps, lifting the cruel device from around his face.

“There,” you said, tossing the muzzle away, glad to be rid of it. “That’s better, isn’t it?”

Nines remained silent as he usually did, nowhere near as vocal as his brother, but he brushed the edge of one broad shoulder against your calf, leaving you warm with surprise as he retreated a safe distance. You could count on one hand the times he’d made physical contact, and as far as you knew, you were the only person he’d ever touched willingly.

Connor, on the other hand, was an insatiable cuddle-bug, and even now he was nudging his nose against your leg, and then actually licked it, making you jump.

“You’re especially clingy today.” You ran your fingers through his hair, eliciting another happy thrill. “Is it because of what they did to Nines?”

The smaller ceta was normally much more friendly with humans, but when they handled Nines roughly, he could become a vicious storm of teeth and claws. The techs never worked on them both at the same time for that reason, separating them into different pools and causing them both more stress than necessary.

You hated it. Hated everything about this place, from the rough techs to the cruel doctors. Dr. Stern made your blood run cold, but Dr. Kamski made the flesh on the back of your neck prickle. You hated them both, and you were human. You couldn’t imagine what it was like for the twins.

“It’s okay,” you said, rubbing Connor’s cheek now and letting him lean into your palm. “You’re both okay now.”

A lie you had to tell but hated telling. More than you hated your heartless bosses who only saw the cetas as a source of grant money and academic prestige.

As if they could sense your mood, which you were half-convinced they could, Connor wrapped his fingers around your ankle and gently tugged. He was always gentle with your legs, especially on bad pain days. That’s just how Connor was, in tune with your moods in a way that was almost unsettling.

Even Nines swam closer, brows perked with interest as he hovered a couple feet away.

“I don’t know if I have time for that tonight, guys,” you said, shoulders hunched. “It’s late and I have to be in early tomorrow—“

Connor interrupted you with a pitiful noise very close to a whine and his brother frowned up at you, lips pursed into an expression that was almost, and hilariously, bitchy. Sometimes, you really thought they understood what you were saying. You wished more than anything they could talk, but they couldn’t. They weren’t human, no matter how you wished otherwise.

Connor gave up on pulling you into the water, and instead propped his chin on your knee, staring up at you with big brown eyes that could put an actual puppy to shame.

“I can’t,” you insisted, the sternness of your voice sabotaged by the smile creeping on your lips. “Not tonight.”

The larger ceta snorted through his nostrils and turned away. You thought he was going to ignore you and pout, but instead he dived beneath the surface and—

You yelped and covered your head with your hands as his large black and white tail slapped against the surface, covering you in an impressive wave of cold water.

“Oh, you asshole!” you choked out as you wiped the water from your eyes. Connor was making a rapid-fire clicking noise that sounded suspiciously like laughter. You sent him a narrowed glare and his lips widened into a toothy grin.

“Don’t encourage him,” you said, pointing a figure at Connor. The smaller ceta simply tilted his head as if he had no idea what on earth you were talking about and he’d never done anything wrong in his life.

You really were spending too much time with them. It was a bad habit of yours, seeing things that couldn’t possibly be there. Little looks and gestures that seemed to mean something more, and you constantly had to remind yourself it was all wishful thinking and loneliness.

Huffing and rolling your eyes, you pulled your legs out of the water and rose to your feet. You needed to put a stop to this and start spending time with other people, even if you would rather be here than anywhere else in the world.

Connor made a small, pathetic chirp as he swam to the edge of the water. He grabbed the ledge and stared up at you, and you could have sworn there was sadness there. Even the armband around his right bicep, normally glowing blue, brightened to a bright yellow, reflecting his increase in heart rate and blood pressure.

Goddammit.

“Okay. Okay. You two are gonna get me fired, you know that?” Your protested sounded weak to your own ears, but it was all worth it to see Connor’s ears perk up and his armband return to a soothing blue.

Even Nines had come back, waiting along the edge of the research pool with Connor, staring up at you expectantly. His armband had never changed from its blue color, but that was just how he was. Somehow, he’d learned how to keep his vital signs calm and cool, even when he was seconds away from trying to take off someone’s fingers.

The techs blamed faulty equipment even though they’d never found anything wrong with the armband. You knew better; Nines had learned the humans used the armbands as a gauge to predict their moods, and Nines had outsmarted them. And would continue to outsmart them, because you seemed to be the only person who realized what he was up to.

Sometimes, like right now, as he was leveling his unblinking, heavy gaze at you while you got undressed, made you wonder just how smart he was. Even now, his grey eyes were too aware, and you had to turn away as you tugged off your clothing.

You wore a bathing suit underneath, a two-piece consisting of boy shorts and a halter top. It was convenient in that it acted like underwear under your clothing, and let you slip into the pool at the end of your shift to swim with the twin brothers.

The swimsuit also had the benefit of being kind of sexy. Not that you were trying to impress anyone. It was sad enough the brothers were the closest things you had to friends.

You sat down at the edge of the water and turned around, resting the ledge against your stomach so you could slip down into the water more easily.

A pair of arms grabbed you from behind immediately, pulling you down into the water.

You gave a startled yelp, sputtered as salt water entered your mouth, and spit it out with an annoyed growl. The arms didn’t let you go, and instead pull you back against a warm chest as he swam backwards along the surface of the water.

Usually Connor gave you a little more time to adjust before grabbing you and swimming around like a seal with its favorite toy.

Normally you tolerated it, but you couldn’t stay as long as you usually did, and you wanted to actually get some swimming done to try and ease the pain in your leg joints and soothe the rigid calf muscles.

“Okay, Connor, that’s enough.”

A frantic chirp came from the left from a few feet away. You opened your eyes, startled to find Connor following after you.

You tensed, heart hammering as your limbs went rigid, and the ceta carrying you along slowed to a stop. He didn’t release his hold and you looked down to see the arms were slightly bigger than they should have been.

Oh, fuck, was your first thought.

He’s going to eat me, was your second.

You took a breath and tried to hold your voice steady. “Nines. I need you to let me go.”

You remained firmly within his embrace. If anything, he slightly tightened his grip.

He’s is definitely going to fucking eat me.

“Nines, let me go.”

The fear was definitely clear in your voice now. He must have heard it. You were so screwed. It was the only thing your brain would repeat, even though human deaths by cetas were rare these days. They still happened, though, and the corded muscles holding you still could easily tear you limb from limb.

Connor moved closer, head tilted in curiosity, but worse, his armband was glowing yellow again.

Blue, go through.

Yellow, not mellow.

Red, you’re dead.

The motto the technicians lived by. You were pretty sure you were dead anyway, even without the color codes. You glanced down at Nines’ armband and it was yellow too.

Not good.

Connor chirped sharply at his brother. Nines returned the sound with a lower, deeper growl. The monkey part of your brain told you a shark was about to sink its rows of teeth around your neck.

Connor released another series of noises, complex chirps and clicks you’d never heard before, and could have sworn… they were talking. Sure, cetas communicated with each other, but they didn’t have a language. They didn’t—

Connor moved forward and Nines moved back in equal measure. You could feel the bend of his tail against your legs, long and powerful, and the monkey part of your brain shrieked in fear again.

It was nothing compared to the terror when Nines took you away from Connor and picked up speed. You knew he was going to pull you under the water, drown you, probably not even doing it on purpose.

Tears pricked your eyes as your heart thudded in your chest. This was it. They were going to find you at the bottom of the pool the next morning, drowned and partially eaten.

Would anyone even care?

“Nines, stop!”

Your mouth hung open, your brain unable to process. You hadn’t shouted the words.

Nines came to an immediate standstill. Connor swam forward, brows furrowed sharply as his eyes darted between you and his brother.

“You’re scaring her.”

The words were soft, gentle, and impossibly coming from Connor’s mouth.

“Unfortunate,” a voice said, directly next to your ear. A voice that sounded almost identical to Connor’s. “But unavoidable.”

A hand clamped down over your mouth when you tried to scream, but the fight was already going out of you as an intense dizziness hit, leaving you woozy and weak. This couldn’t be happening.

They were talking.

Next Chapter

#detroit: become human #detroit become human #mermay #mermaid au #merman!connor #merman!nines #connor x reader #rk800 x reader #nines x reader #rk900 x reader #connor x reader x nines #rk1700 #rk1700 x reader #my writing #my fanfiction

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ink-and-flame · 4 years

Text

Kinktober Day 1: Intensity Challenged

Kinktober Day 1 Prompts: Sexual deprivation (long term) ~ Orgasm control ~ Competitions (with other Subs) Fandom: Original Tags: Exophilia, Sexual deprivation, Orgasm control, sub competition, angst, hurt/comfort, F/F themes, dom/sub themes, bondage Pairing(s): Orc(m)/Human(f), Darnok/Lia, Human(f)/Human(f)

[Authors Note: Welcome back to another Kinktober. I hope to do better this year than last because I have a lot of stories mapped out, especially for these two. Originally I had not planned for the competition to go this way and was not intending a mixed scene with both m/f and f/f elements. Hopefully it doesn’t come across as too muddled and unfocused.]

Lia was going to get to see Darnok again soon and they had the opportunity to enjoy the V.I.P. access. Slipping the card into her wallet Lia sent a message to Darnok, checking to see if he received his own invite. She was worried that he hadn’t and worded the question in a way that made it seem like she had not received one. Lia was relieved when he had also received the invite and informed him of her own. Their plans were changed to be more casual since it would be best to explore the lounge and what their new access had to offer as opposed to doing a complex scene.

The night arrived and Lia was both excited and a little worried. She wasn’t sure what would happen and decided not to bring anything extra with her. She dressed a bit nicer than she usually would when going to the club, not wanting to upset Darnok by picking out something inappropriate. The drive felt like it took longer, though rationally Lia knew that it took the same amount of time it always did.

She walked up to the club and showed her new ID card to the bouncer who waived her through with a smile. She headed to the main area of the club to wait for Darnok, not wanting to enter the V.I.P. area without him. Sipping on a drink her eyes lit up when he arrived, holding out an arm to her and escorting her to the Lounge. The V.I.P. area was named Destiny’s Lounge, but most just called it the lounge as that was simpler.

“I hope you aren’t too disappointed about not doing a scene tonight. I know we haven’t really had a chance to have a good one in a while and I wanted to make sure that was ok with you.”

“It’s fine Darnok. I think this is a better plan. See what is offered, and that might help us plan our next scene. I can be patient, can you?”

Darnok laughed and headed to the lounge with Lia holding onto his arm. They were allowed in after showing their cards and walked into the small foyer that granted access to the full V.I.P. area. The lounge had a sign over the door, a soft glow coming from within. Quiet music could be heard as well. There was a bar off to the side, separate from the lounge with plenty of seating for an intimate crowd. There were other areas to explore, but that could come later. The lounge itself seemed like the best place to start.

They had not been there long when they were approached by someone Lia did not recognize, though he seemed to know Danrnok as the two shook hands. The man was unusual looking. Sharp features, horns curling up from his head, eyes that seemed to glow. Lia noticed his hand had dark claws, she wasn’t sure if he looked demonic or draconic as his skin had a somewhat dusty grey hue.

“Well, are you going to introduce me, or are you going to be rude?” The tall horned man was looking at Lia.

“Right, of course, how dare I be rude. Lucien, this is my sub Lia.” Darnok glanced down at Lia to check on her.

“Well, Lia, as Darnok said, I am Lucien and I am quite pleased to meet you.” Leaning down he grasped her free hand, kissing it softly. His eyes shifted color as he winked at her. “I hope my appearance doesn’t frighten you too much.” He stood up straight releasing her hand.

“No Sir, I am not afraid.” Lia knew she had to be extra polite. She didn’t want to embarrass or upset Darnok.

“Oh I like her, my friend, do let me know if you plan to ever share.” He gave Darnok a look and then addressed them both. “Well I must be going. I have some things to tend to and the grape vine is singing. Morwenna is looking for you both.” With a slight bow Lucien left.

Darnok looked down at Lia. “Lucien is an old friend of mine. He has been trying to get me V.I.P. access for over a year now. His sway isn’t as strong as Morwenna’s and my schedule prevented me from being able to attend some key events. I am glad that the owners were willing to overlook the past when considering me.” Darnok led Lia over to a couch with a table she could set her drink on.

There were no worries about drugged drinks as the lounge was heavily surveilled and had security on premises. Everyone knew the punishment for such behavior and it was unpleasant and possibly illegal if Lia thought too hard about it. She relaxed into the couch, leaning into Darnok and observing the people. There was a good mix of races, just like with the rest of the club. She saw other orcs, some elves, a couple of goblins, and plenty of humans. Though some of them might not be human at all.

The comfortable silence did not last long as Morwenna came into view. She seated herself next to Darnok with a smile and waved over a server ordering herself a drink. She looked Lia over with a smile before turning to Darnok.

“I am glad to see that you were finally able to get access to the lounge. It will be so much more fun with all the new blood coming in. The gala saw more invites than usual as there were exceptional performances and behaviors by both dom and sub alike. The owners are not usually so generous, but I am glad for it. We always need new and interesting people.”

Darnok nodded. “I am just glad they are still picky and stuck to their original model. Not letting people buy their way in or otherwise force their way in. It keeps the undesirables out. Having to earn it, means you will respect the privilege more, at least it should anyway.”

“Yes, well, not everyone does and sometimes after they get comfortable they get cocky and I have seen a good number of access privileges revoked over the last year. Not sure why, maybe something in the water? Either way, now that you are here why don’t we discuss that wager I mentioned” When her drink arrived Morwenna took a delicate sip and continued. “I am eager to play with new blood. So how about a two part competition?”

Darnok raised a brow. “A competition? Of what sort?”

“Your sub verses one of mine. A test of endurance, patience, and control.” Morwenna was smiling behind her glass.

“I’m listening.”

“Good. Part one is sexual deprivation. The subs must go without sex and release for as long as possible. That includes masturbation, but no one will be disqualified for any nocturnal releases. During this time the sub must perform sexual acts for their dominant. We shouldn’t have to suffer, this isn’t testing our abilities but theirs.”

Darnok looked thoughtful. He had a better chance to win since he wasn’t able to see Lia regularly, something Morwenna wasn’t aware of. It did prevent him from keeping an eye on her, but he trusted Lia. “Ok, that seems fair, what is the second part?”

“Ah, the second part is more fun. Orgasm control. After the deprivation, someone one will of course either lose part one or we call it a draw after hmm, three months? Is that too long, yes probably, 37 days, how is that. A little more than a month. So after 37 days if no one breaks, we move to part two. This will require them to control their orgasms. That part of the competition we will need a room for. We will tease and pleasure our subs and it is their responsibility to hold off as long as possible. Whomever’s sub orgasms first, loses.”

Glancing at Lia Darnok looked back at Morwenna. “I could be on board with this. What does the winner get?”

“Aren’t gloating rights enough?” Morwenna laughed lightly. “I jest. We both have the funds for a substantial prize. Loser buys the winner and their sub an all expense paid trip to an island getaway. It would be just in time for the worst parts of the season and I do like warmth.”

“You speak as though you are going to win.” Darnok did some mental calculations and knew he could easily afford it. Though it would be nice and he could frame it as a business trip when he won.

“Oh Darnok, you know I always get what I want. I rarely, if ever, lose. Still, you do have some advantages. I know you, but not your sub. So I am going in a bit blind. I am still willing to take the chance. So, do we have a wager?” Morwenna held out her hand to Darnok.

Shaking her hand Darnok smiled. “You might want to go ahead and book those tickets now. Save yourself a little money.”

“Oh I do so love it when you are cocky.” Standing up, drink in hand, Morwenna smiled at them both. “The competition starts tomorrow. I suggest you enjoy your evening while you can, I know I plan to.”

Lia watched the woman walk away and felt a lump in her throat. They had not planned to have sex and now she was going to have to wait over a month to do a scene with him? Or was it more she would have to wait to be allowed to enjoy it? Looking at Darnok curiously, she decided it was best to let him lead on this. Maybe he knew something she didn’t.

“I know I should have asked you before agreeing, but this is a perfect opportunity for us. Not only would it give you a chance to prove yourself as a sub, but a nice trip to an island, a resort, maybe a private bungalow. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a dream to me.” Darnok stroked Lia’s cheek. “I know we can do this, our schedules will make this an easier competition for us, at least, the first part.”

Those words hit deep, prove herself, that was something she wanted. She needed to prove to Darnok that she was perfect for him. If they won, a weekend together away from everything could change their entire relationship. It could potentially give Lia what she wanted, or at least put them on that path. There was the possibility of it going wrong, but she had to have faith that it wouldn’t.

“Ok, I am on board with this. I mean I am the sub so I know I don’t get a choice, but I also know you would give me an out if I really didn’t want to do it. How do we make this work though?”

“That will be the easy part. We already are not scheduled to see each other too much over the next month or so. For the scenes we do, I can help you work on your control. I suggest you also practice edging yourself just be careful. Sometimes you can trigger an orgasm without meaning to, and your body has always been quite responsive to my touch. This will take some practice on both our parts. I have to find ways to cool you down while I work you over, to help you keep from hitting that edge.” Darnok slipped an arm around Lia. “I have a hotel room, I wasn’t sure what tonight was going to be like. I suggest we leave now and make full use of it.”

She couldn’t help but laugh a bit and finished her drink. “Well, I can’t say no to that. No practicing, just driving each other crazy tonight ok?”

“That sounds like the most excellent of plans dearest Lia.”

Darnok’s stamina was put to the test as he and Lia chose to make the most of the evening, and into the early hours. Neither wanted to sleep, for different reasons, but the goal was the same. Close to check out time Lia was laying in the bed sore and completely exhausted. Though if she was honest she had been exhausted for hours. Maybe there was a thing as too much sex, but she refused to beleive it and just chalked it up to her body not being used to this sort of thing.

“Well, I am pretty sure that will help keep me from wanting to have sex again for a while, and I am too sore to masturbate.” Lia admitted as Darnok walked back into the bedroom from the bathroom fully dressed.

He was chuckling as he sat down and put on his shoes. “The shower is yours if you’d like, and I agree. I probably wont need sex again for a while, but I will contact you with instructions after a couple of days.”

Lia showered, dressed, and walked out with Darnok. She hugged him before getting into her car and heading home. There was a nap in her future, her very near future and she had to figure out just how she was going to deal with the next 37 days. Lia got the impression that this was going to be much harder for her than Darnok, but that was the point. She was the one trying to prove herself, not him.

The first week was easy, Lia had no desire to masturbate at all, and the idea of sex didn’t appeal to her. It took about that long for her to no longer be sore. Perhaps Darnok had been a little over zealous, but then that may have been the plan. If she was too sore and exhausted to orgasm, then they had this competition in the bag. Of course that didn’t last, but one week down was a pretty good start.

Even after the first week Lia was doing ok, she had gone longer without masturbating before, but now that she knew she couldn’t, the temptation was a lot stronger. It was during the second week that Darnok began instructing her on how she should edge herself. How to bring herself pleasure without release. He wanted to teach her to control her pleasure, to not get lost in it the way she sometimes did. He wasn’t worried about the first part of the competition, it was the second part he feared losing, and he expressed that concern to her more than once.

Their first scene since the wager began was nothing like what Lia had experienced before. It was pure torture. Darnok drove her almost to the edge over, and over. Teasing different parts of her body. Showing her how to take pleasure, let it build, and then let it fade. He practiced a few techniques on her to try and calm her down while still bringing pleasure. There were a number of close calls that had him backing off and letting her cool down completely before he felt safe touching her again.

He could see the frustration in her eyes, her desire for release, and knew to stop pushing. Instead he pleasured himself in front of her. Something he had never done, at least not all the way to completion. Seeing her covered in his seed only made him want her more. A temptation he struggled to resist. It would be too easy to fall victim to his own lust, and if he was inside of her, he would not stop, and he wasn’t sure Lia could resist at that point. As it stood he felt a little bad finding his own release when she could not.

Carefully Darnok cleaned his sub, he praised her and comforted her. The aftercare was most important, not only to help her calm down, but to reinforce their bond. This was the only way to keep the experience from feeling unbalanced. Darnok had to let himself care for her, cherish her, treat her with love and reverence. Something he had been avoiding since things had become complicated in his life.

The third week brought with it some relief. Lia’s hormones shifted and she simply had no desire to seek pleasure. She was still warm from the last session with Darnok. While the experience had brought her to tears, the aftercare had filled her heart even more than it had been before. He had never treated her so lovingly and if this was what it took to feel that, then she would gladly forego the pleasure of her body to have this with him.

Once her hormones had cycled back up, resisting became much harder, especially since she had been practicing edging again. She was focusing on different forms of stimulation, the ones she knew would get her there quicker. She had to practice resisting that pleasure for as long as she could. Many days Lia found herself breaking out a toy multiple times, only to not let herself reach satisfaction. It was getting to the point where she did not want to keep going and just wanted release.

Thankfully Darnok was there to soothe her frayed nerves with his deep calming voice. Their phone calls became more frequent as Lia needed the extra support to get through this and they needed to discuss their next session. This one would be harder than the last. Lia would have to resist even more because Darnok anticipated that simple teasing would not be enough and that Morwenna would expect him to penetrate her during the second part of the competition. This session was to help both of them resist becoming lost in the moment.

When the session began, Lia was nervous, more so than the last time because she could see that Darnok was nervous as well. The time was almost up and Morwenna had not indicated that her sub had lost, that meant tonight could break them both if they got too caught up in everything. Something that was a very real possibility for them both.

Darnok started slow, easing them both into the session. He treated it as a rehearsal for the real thing. Starting with simple touches, using his hands and mouth to push Lia to the edge of pleasure over and over, only backing off when he could sense her body tensing. When it was time for penetration Darnok talked Lia through it, explaining how he would move to keep from overwhelming them both. He held his body in a way that the pressure would not be on her clit, anything to give them an advantage.

At first it was easy, he could go slow, roll his hips, they both enjoyed it but it wasn’t enough stimulation to get them to release any time soon. Gradually he sped up, his control slipping until his tusks were scratching her shoulder and he could feel himself on the edge. Pulling out quickly Darnok came on Lia, covering her slick folds, stomach, and breasts with his seed. He looked at her worried that she had reached completion as well as her body was shaking.

“I… I am so close….” Her voice was small. “Darnok please…”

The begging almost broke him, but he was so proud of her. He lost control, but she didn’t. His smile lit up his face as he shook his head. “Oh Lia, you have never made me prouder, please do not give in. We have come so far, you have done so well my dearest.”

Sucking in a breath Lia nodded. She focused her breathing and relaxed the tension in her body. The needy, pulsing, ache that filled her slowly faded in intensity. She was still filled with need, but she could handle it now. She wasn’t in danger of going over the edge unexpectedly. Darnok let her rest for a good while as he carefully cleaned her, not wanting to stimulate her too much and send her over the edge accidentally.

It was much harder to calm down this time and Darnok did his best to care for Lia, to bring her back to a more neutral place. He worried about overworking her body, taxing her mind, nothing was worth bringing her actual harm. He whispered words of praise and encouragement until he felt her relax in his arms. This session was shorter, he could not risk pushing for more, he did not trust himself to not give into her pleas.

Lia’s frustration was turning to anger and she was glad the time was almost up for the first part of the wager. It was beginning to affect her day to day life. She was snapish, terse, and short with people more frequently now. Explaining it off as bad days was becoming harder and she had to be careful that she wasn’t risking her job.

As the 37th day arrived and passed Lia was curious when she did not hear from Darnok. She had managed to survive the first part of this challenging wager, it was the second part she feared. Being this keyed up for so long meant that she could lose control more easily. Lia was ready to be done if she was honest and wanted nothing more than to go back to exploring this aspect of her life with Darnok, without all the restrictions. Maybe they could revisit this again, but on their own terms. 37 days did not sound like a lot until she had to experience it, and it was just too long.

When Darnok finally called Lia was relieved. It seemed to have been a draw. Something that didn’t really come as a surprise. While Lia did not know Morwenna or her sub, she knew how to recognize a competitive streak when she saw one and the domme was competitive. Darnok scheduled their next play session for the weekend. They would be utilizing one of the larger rooms as all four of them would have a play session together. Lia wondered how much cross over there would be, or if they were just sharing space.

The night finally came and Lia dressed comfortably. She packed a spare set of clothes and some other essentials. She was going to be spending the night at the hotel with Darnok afterwards. Lia had the feeling she was barely going to be able to move and that the after care would take the rest of the night.

Heading into the club she saw Darnok waiting for her close to the entrance. He guided Lia towards the back rooms as they were the only ones open and big enough for all four of them to have enough space to enjoy themselves. Morwenna was already there when Lia and Darnok arrived. Her sub was naked, blindfolded, and bound to one of the small beds.

“I wanted to save a little time and get my sub prepared. She has been, a little difficult to handle these last few days. I am sure we could have timed this better, but I did not let her cum, even after the 37 days were up. I wanted her prepared for this and eager.”

“Lia has been a dutiful sub and has not orgasmed either. Even though I never said she couldn’t, she chose to continue the deprivation of her own volition. I could not be more proud of her, or more eager for this wager to be complete. I miss scening fully with my sub and while this has been excellent practice and has given me some interesting insight, my pleasure comes from the pleasure of my partners. This was no easy task for either of us.”

“Shall we begin?” Morwenna asked her hand sliding slowly along her subs body, teasing the bound woman's nipple gently.

“Give us just a moment to get ready.” Darnok helped Lia onto the other bed, stripping her of her clothing. He would not use bonds to hold her, he needed to be able to read every movement of her body. Stripping down to his pants, he nodded. “We may begin.”

Darnok’s focus was on Lia, he could not allow what was happening next to them to become a distraction. He started slow, his hands roaming over Lia’s body, massaging her muscles, her breasts, hips, and thighs. He carefully avoided her hot spots, wanting to warm her up slowly, get her used to his touch, let her sink slowly into the sensations. When she was relaxed enough he began to tease her, attaching the little bell nipple clamps to her now pert nipples. Smiling as they made light sounds with her subtle movements. “So beautiful my little Lia.”

Lia was torn between focusing on Darnok and being distracted by the scene happening next to them. Morwenna had a similar approach, starting slow, but she was teasing her sub more with her mouth than her hands. Lia became curious about how different it might feel, having a soft feminine touch as opposed to Darnok’s firm and more masculine one. She loved the way Dar made her feel, but that didn’t mean she could not be curious about the touch of others.

When his lips kissed over her inner thigh Lia refocused on Dar. This was a competition and she needed to remain relaxed and concentrate on controlling her pleasure. Even though the sound of the other sub’s moans tickled at her ears, Lia had to stay focused on her own pleasure. Making sure it didn’t overwhelm her or catch her by surprise. When his thick tongue pushed into her, she arched with a cry. It felt incredible, not enough to bring her to release, but enough to make her want more. He hands went to his head holding him in place. She knew that this would push her to the edge faster, but she had been practicing with tug signals.

Lia hoped that Darnok remembered and would ease up when she felt herself spiraling. His finger pushing into her was almost too much and she tugged his hair a bit sharply, it was a little too soon for penetration and she needed to calm down. Especially since it seemed the other sub could handle quite a bit. Morwenna was copying Dar, her face between the other woman’s thighs. If the sound was anything to go on, the efforts were quite enthusiastic indeed. Hearing the other sub moaning, seeing her arch and writhe, the way Morwenna delicately sucked and lapped at what little Lia could see. It only aroused her more. Now she understood why the sub was blindfolded. Yes, it increased her senses, but it prevented her from being aroused by the sight of what was happening in the room.

Gasping Lia arched harder against Darnok, tugging tightly at his hair. She had almost lost focus and cum right then, it wasn’t going to happen so fast. She did not get this far for it to happen this fast. Panting and whimpering she tried to calm herself down but it wasn’t working. Thankfully Darnok stopped and stood up looking down at her. She could see the bulge in his pants, the dampness on his slacks, he was intensely aroused.

“Oh Lia, I have missed your taste, your body, taking you the way I want to. I must have you.” He stripped the rest of his clothing, climbing onto the bed with her. He wanted it to seem like he had less control than what he actually felt, but the truth was, his control was already being tested. The cries of both women were getting to him and he knew that the sights were arousing Lia.

Hovering over her, he slid himself against her, not penetrating, taking his time, letting her cool down some, but still teasing her. “I cannot wait to be inside you, to feel you hot and tight around me.” His voice was a deep gravelly growl.

Lia noticed the other subs cries getting louder when he spoke. Perhaps the blindfold helped with the sights, but not the sounds, so maybe she wasn’t at as much of a disadvantage as she thought. Then again, Darnok’s voice affected her too, so it wasn’t without issue. If he spoke more she might lose control, his voice always did something to her she couldn’t quite explain.

Turning her head she saw Morwenna pulling on a complicated harness. It looked like she was using a strap on, but there were modifications that allowed her to be stimulated, at least it looked like there was a part that went inside once it was buckled on. This excited Lia, having never really seen this kind of thing up close. Her eyes were locked on the Domme, and how she moved over her sub. Untying the bonds holding her down and giving her more freedom of movement. Lia was entranced by the sight of their intimacy. The way their bodies moved together, their breasts pressing into each others. It was beautiful.

“Please, Dar, I need you inside me.” She whispered, knowing that he would hear her, but that it would be hard for anyone else too. As an orc his hearing was far better than a humans and it allowed her to speak to him in low tones when she didn’t want to be overheard. All she received in response was a low, deep growl, and the sensation of his thick cock pushing into her. She hiked her legs over his hips, pulling him into her faster. Her control was slipping and they were at risk of losing.

Maybe making it this far was enough. Lia wanted this, she wanted to cum, and she could not look away from the women next to them. Her face was forcibly turned by Darnok, who gave her an amused look and leaned in nipping her neck. Lia knew he was trying to keep her present, keep her from slipping and going over the edge too quickly. The nip helped ground her a bit, but also riled her. The feeling of him thick and hot inside of her was almost too much to take and she couldn’t resist another look at the couple next to them.

Morwenna was clearly skilled if the noises her sub was making was anything to go on. The way her hips moved enticed Lia and she found herself spiralling towards that edge faster and faster. Lia simply could not look away, finding the women beautiful in ways she hadn't really thought of too much before. She had always had an open mind, but this was something different entirely.

Turning to Darnok, it was his eyes that captured Lia. He had been watching her, watching them, but also glancing at them and it was taking its toll. She could see his control slipping, that slightly feral glazed look in his eye that he got when things were about to get rough and more of his orcish nature would come out. His hips moved faster as he thrust deeper and harder into Lia, filling her body in ways no other man ever had, or ever could. Her pleasure spiralled higher and higher, her body tense, the wager forgotten. She no longer cared. She needed release, craved it, and would no longer be denied.

A sharp cry filled the air as pleasure had culminated in a powerful release of sheer orgasmic bliss, the other sub had broken first. Lia’s cries quickly followed not seconds after as her own orgasm overtook her. The pleasure she felt was so intense it bordered on pain, it almost wasn’t enjoyable it was so intense. Never before had her body reacted this way, the most powerful orgasm she had ever had, a gush of cum squirting out of her and soaking herself, Darnok, and the bed beneath them. Lia was shaking, tense, her body bowed as she rode out the blinding pleasure that tore through her.

It took several moments for her to begin to relax, a foot had cramped because her toes curled so hard. Lia was not sure she ever wanted to hold off from orgasming that long again. The experience was simply too intense for her. She was panting, her vision blurry with little dots floating around when she blinked. It was a while before she came back to herself, seeing the worried look on Darnoks face. He had been speaking, she had not responded, she had not even realized he was talking.

“Lia, are you ok?” His tone was worried as she had not responded.

“Do I need to call the medic.” Morwenna’s voice sounded far away.

“I am not sure. Lia, Lia sweetie you need to respond.”

“ok” Lia croaked.

Darnok breathed a sigh of relief as he slowly pulled out, a gush of fluid following the action. Slowly he stroked his hands over her body. “Tell me what you need.”

“Foot cramp” Lia whimpered as she began to come back to herself.

She smiled weakly as Darnok moved off of her and started massaging her foot and calf, switching to the other leg once she had relaxed. He was talking quietly with Morwenna, both of them clearly worried about her. She raised a hand and waved it at them a bit.

“M’fine.. Think i saw god… or the devil, not sure”

Morwenna laughed heartily. It was the most warm sound Lia had ever heard the woman make. It was so genuine and somewhat contagious. Lia turned and looked at her. Disheveled, soaked in sweat, her hair a mess, clearly she had reached completion with her sub. For the first time, she actually looked human to Lia, and that only made her more curious about the intense and aloof woman.

“I like her, I really do Darnok. Are you sure you wont share?” Morwenna was tending her own sub now that it was clear Lia did not need medical intervention. She had removed the girls blindfold and was holding a water bottle for the sub to sip from. “Slowly dear. I will get you a blanket in a moment, you need fluids first.”

The aftercare was soft, gently, the subs being pampered by their doms with the utmost care. Both couples ended up on the couch. Lia wrapped in a blanket curled on Darnoks lap, and Morwanna’s sub was burritoed and draped across her Domme’s lap, hair being stroked softly.

“You won, but barely. I suppose a deal is a deal. Let me know the dates and I will get the tickets as agreed. I do hope we can do this again sometime. Well, maybe not this exactly, but it would be nice to play again. Maybe with a little more interaction?”

“We will see, I would enjoy that, but I have a few scenes planned out that I would like to get through first. I will need to check my calendars and get back to you on the rest. I am honestly surprised we won. I could feel Lia losing control beneath me and I hit a point where I no longer cared about winning.”

“I think we both hit that point. I got caught up in the moment just as much as you did. We all did, and I think that is what made this so much fun.”

Lia did not remember falling asleep or how she managed to get to the hotel. She woke up in Darnok’s arms, resting against his chest. He was deep asleep and she just watched him for a while. Wondering what tomorrow would bring.

#exophilia #orc boyfriend #Orc x Human #Darnok/Lia #intensify series

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night-rook · 4 years

Text

Sinful Delivery | Feitan Porter x Reader |

Word Count: 2709 Reader Type: Neutral Gender, Media Influencer, Model Story Type: Modern AU setting Beware: Sexual thoughts, BDSM, Curse words Summary: Reader is doing some media distancing due to harmassments. Feitan just happens to be the delivery guy on the day they wanted takeout.

Key terms: (Y/N) = Your name (H/C) = Hair Color (S/C) = Skin color (E/C) = Eye Color (F/F) = Favorite Food (S/F/F) = Second Favorite Food (S/N) = Screen Name (B/T) = Body Type (B/H) = Body Height

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A pair of empty eyes stared at the grimy ceiling. The pools of (E/C) reflected a blank canvas as they laid on the large bed. Their body felt frozen to the touch, almost as cold as a corpse. Taking in small breathes to fill their lungs, they closed their eyes and listened to the white noise of the room.

Their name is (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). Yes, That (Y/F/N). The infamous media influencer who specialized in dark styles of romance. Hacking to the fetishes that everyone is too scared or embarrassed by and bringing it out with their photos. Posing and modeling from all levels. If there was something out there, they were the first to act on it. Taking photos for the eyes of the dark. From innocent acts of bondage in bed to heavy blood draining, (Y/N) had a photo for the media.

Then, why were they laying in bed? Why were they alone?

There were numerous rumors that the model was faking their stats. Editing everything to where it looked realistic. Each photograph was nothing more than a scam of a freak who sought attention. As the rumors spread like wildfire across the internet platform, (Y/N)’s publicist advised them to stay away from the media until everything settled down. Their whole career was on hold because some people thought they were posers.

So, here they are laying in their loft condo and keeping a low profile. The (H/C) would go out for the usual grocery trips and daily exercise. Despite the dark cloud of their career, (Y/N) was a humble person and had a simple lifestyle. They just happened to have an interesting career path that differs from the norms. Boredom had become unavoidable these past few weeks, taking a toll on their adventurous spirit.

“Maybe I should have taken Gon’s than the Troupe Café,” (Y/N) mumbled and slowly sat up. “But, I’m kinda tired of the usual (F/F).”

Finally getting up from the bed, they stretched their limbs out into the air as they let out a huff of breath. Shaking off the sleepy dust from their body while walking down the stairs. (Y/N) looked at the clock that hung by the staircase. Its second hand ticking away while the minute hand was just barely moving.

Knock Knock, knock

Three rapid yet vigorous knocks caught their attention from the time. A smile broke across their (S/C) face as they walked to the door. Turning the knob, (Y/N) was greeted by a rather gloomy looking male. Being (B/H), the model was puzzled by the rather short male. His grey eyes stared at them, waiting for them to make a move. An austere expression was painted on his pale face.

“Are you gonna take it or not, dumbass. I don’t have all day.” the monotone voice seemed to match his demeanor. He held up a black bag that contained (S/F/F).

Shaking their head, the model took the delivery bag and left the door open. They got a whiff of food before setting it down on the living table to get the money. (Y/N) hummed happily at the thought of eating the heavenly meal but also for the change.

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As (Y/N) was gone, the male’s eyes narrowed slightly as something felt odd about the whole situation. The customer looked strangely similar to someone he followed online. He dug his hand into his pocket just as his phone vibrated. Pulling out the device, he internally grunted at the notification from Phinks. He pressed the text chat to read what was sent, probably a stupid excuse for not wanting to work. Reading the text in the grey bubble, the gloomy dressed male blinked before realizing what was said.

Lazy Fucker, 2:55 pm

Dude! Feitan! I remember where I saw that name. Ya know the model whose fan base is rioting? THAT’S THE CUSTOMER WHO ORDERED!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING LUCKY YOU SCORED?!?!

*read

Feitan felt a slight flinch in his gut. The universe had randomly granted him the opportunity to come across his favorite pastime. He knew of (S/N) and the alleged rumors against them. The short man didn’t care for what was said about the photoshopping because he knows real authentic torture when he sees it. Every drop of blood that dripped from their (S/C) (Y/H) body. Each cut that is made on their (B/T). He never doubted the reality that (S/N) performed.

When he heard and read about the accusations made about their work of art, his anger hit sky high. His blood boiled like magma, the more absurd every claim got. The day (S/N) went offline, Feitan’s hunger became unsatisfied. His entire Trevor Brown collection couldn’t fill the craving that rested deep inside his coal heart. There was just something in the model’s performance that made him growl in pleasure. His irritation followed him from home to work every day for the past couple of weeks.

“Here you go! I’m so sorry for making you wait this long. I misplaced my wallet.” they laughed and rubbed the back of their head due to the embarrassment.

He only grunted and took the payment, counting the bills to ensure it was correct. Underneath his bandana, an eerie smile made its way onto his apathetic face. Their voice was just so soothing and light, the perfect pitch to hear moans from in private. The more he stared at them, the stronger his desire grew. Feitan slipped the money into his pocket before deciding to speak.

“You’re (S/N), correct. Why haven’t you said anything about the bullshit,” he asked. Well, honestly, it was more like a demand than asking.

(Y/N) was about to close the door until he spoke up. Blinking at his bold words, they were confused about what told of them. Oh, he’s a fan… they realized. Placing a hand on their hip, the model gave his words some thought. They were surprised the delivery guy knew who they were, giving they weren’t exactly in costume. They were only wearing a plain (F/C) shirt and shorts while their (H/L) (H/C) hair wasn’t styled.

With a smile, (Y/N) answered, “I can’t change anyone’s mind on what they see. Our perspectives are different, so I rather just let them believe what they want to believe.”

Feitan frowned at them. Their answer didn't sound convincing to him. His grey eyes stared at them more, searching for something. “It’s obvious that those scumbags are just picking for a reaction. Probably waiting for a suicide announcement about you.”

This time, his words did make their stomach turn. It was unnoticeable when their account got negative comments or when their inbox was spammed with death threats. (Y/N) did their best to avoid them and ignore the pessimistic thoughts that came with every troll. Yet, the words aimed at them did hate their self-esteem. It was when the rumors started to take effect did they finally get time to feel peace. The media distancing helped the depressing cloud clear up above their head.

“Want to join me for lunch? My legs are standing to ache from just standing and the food is gonna get cold,” (Y/N) smiled while pointing at the couch behind them, “ I can ask all your questions while we eat if that’s okay with you.”

Feitan nodded and walked inside the apartment. He took a few glances around the place and took notice of how moderate it looked. If he could bluntly say it, the place looked like a boring image in a magazine you could find in an office. Taking a seat on the leather armchair, the gloomy male sat and waited for the other to join him.

Getting some plates and drinks from the kitchen, the (Y/H) model went to the living area and served him some (S/F/F). The two ate in silence for a bit and got acquainted with each other’s presence. Feitan observed them some more, his eyes never leaving their body.

"Well, are you going to talk or not." Feitan scowled, glaring menacingly as his patience was going thin.

(Y/N) sweatdrop at his impatience, but took a drink of their soda. Their mind playing back the beginning of the chaos and the events leading to isolation. Recalling the confusion when their publicist instructed them to make the accounts private and go offline. The devastation they felt later followed when they read the article claims against them. The model simply felt their heart crack from the madness.

"I was told to sit and be quiet until things settle. These few weeks haven't been great. The assaults are still going and I can't do anything," (Y/N) sighed and stared at their drink. "I am- sort of- at a breaking point. No matter how strong the bubble I'm in, the insults make me crack and it hurts. I had ideas! I was going for approval but then got told to be quiet so the adults can talk."

Feitan leaned back into his seat and listened to them rant out their pinned up frustrations. From what he saw, it seemed to bother them that they were seen as a fraud. He watched the way their arms moved as they spoke and how their clothes would reveal the hidden story. His grey eyes took in the faint scars and discoloration on their (S/C). Fighting back a growl, the gloomy male set his plate down and got the model's attention.

"Fuck what those bastards say. Do what you want and show them everything." he smiled at the visible shiver they had.

(E/C) eyes glanced up to meet with metal eyes. Despite the coldness in them, the model could see just a small flicker of light. It was a small light, small but it was enough to make something in (Y/N)'s mind snap. The small click of gears before complete clockwork began to shift inside them.

He was right! Why did they have to be put in the corner when all they were doing was their passion?! Why were they being punished?!

(Y/N) looked straight at the short male. Their eyes reflecting the newfound determination and that same emotion cause him to smirk with interest. What he heard did catch him and made his inner desire water with hunger.

"I want a tape of real-time punishment. So, seeing as you are well aware of my work, I take you to know what to do?" they innocently smiled.

The gloomy spider leaned forward from his seat. His eyes darkening with a cloud of cruel lechery with every passing moment he stared at them. His mouth watered at all the methods that came to mind with how he will have them beneath him. To hear their cries, witness their tears, the expressions that cute face can make... Oh, how fate gave him an angel in a devil's clothing. Pulling down his bandana, he smirked at the model.

There it was again!

The cold chill when he smiled at them. (Y/N) might have picked the perfect candidate for a partner. At least for the project... maybe. Getting up from their seat, they grabbed his hand and led him upstairs.

"Let's get started, shall we."

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Upon the release of the video, four months had passed by. The video had gained a couple of million views and thousands of comments. Whether the attention was positive or negative, (Y/N) had no clue but Feitan did. He read through the comment section and was amused by the words.

Feitan was on his break and sitting at a table, a cup of forgotten tea sat in front of him. He scrolled through the section with an entertaining smile on his face. His eyes squinted up as he grinned with each passing comment. The spider worker enjoys the memory of that evening. It was his absolute favorite and it was something he looked back to whenever he watched the video.

He can recall how he felt with each scene as it plays out. The adrenaline that coursed through his veins with burning aspiration. How he wanted to make (Y/N) submit and to feel those agonizing vehemence. He wanted to keep hearing the moans and cries they made with each whip. The lewd face they made when he flogged their bareback. The way their body tense and pull on the restraints when he made a deeper cut.

Phinks and Shalnark were a bit disturbed when the short man came back to their shared apartment into the next morning. He was grinning menacingly while his clothes were covered in blood. Who's blood exactly, that was unclear. Both males watched him enter the apartment before vanishing into his room for the rest of the day. Endless to say, they shrugged it off and believed some poor stranger just wasn't lucky.

"Hey, Feitan! Can you take my shift real quick? I need to use the restroom, please. Please! Please!" The blond whined a bit.

The gloomy male grunted before heading back into the kitchen to tag him out. As he worked, he didn't hear the bell chime of the front entrance. He cooked until a soft voice caught his attention.

"Ello! I'll like small grey ice cream with a dash of sadistic sparkles." they happily chirped. Smiling as brightly as ever from the other side of the bar window.

Feitan looked up from the stove and hummed in acknowledgment. He turned his attention back to the food as (Y/N) took a seat on one of the stools. Their (E/C) eyes shined with the same happiness while watching him cook. The comfortable silence around them was pleasant and neither wanted to break it too. Until Phinks came back and stared at the new face before realizing who they were.

"FEITAN!! It's that model!!" he managed to shout despite the small space.

The short man remained stoic while (Y/N) giggled at the blond's reaction. Feitan grabbed the blond's shirt collar and pulled him into the kitchen to take back his job. Feitan grabbed two drinks and walked out of the kitchen. Handing one drink over to (Y/N), the short man took a seat by them.

"What brings you here." he finally asked after a few sips of beer.

Setting their glass down, (Y/N) turned to face him before tilting their head a bit. They were a bit confused by his questionable demand but then sat up when they remembered the reason for their sudden arrival. Turning to pull out a notebook from their bag, the cheerful model set it on the counter and turned to the desired page.

"I got another idea and wanted to see if you could help. I was thinking of an ice bath this time, but I want your opinion since your nasty little mind was the brilliance behind the video," they showed the page to Feitan and slid the notebook to him. "The agency will cover the cost if you have something else in mind. They even want to ask if you wish to apply. Seeing as you like a natural on camera and how fans reacted."

Feitan looked over the information on the page while listening to the (B/H) model. He could get paid for tormenting them with his dark fantasies. He smiled at them and slid the notebook back to them. Nodding, he finished his drink and looked at them with the same eyes as the day they met.

"Yes! You're the absolute best! I'll text you when the due date is and we can meet up this weekend to see when you got." (Y/N) grinned before jumping off their seat.

═✩══╡˚✧❨✧˚╞══✩═

Feitan's smile vanished after they said goodbye. He returned to his expressionless husk and decided to clock back in. When he was about to get back to work, his blond roommate finally spoke up and questioned the gloomy spider on what had just happened.

He simply shrugged and went back to his job. His eyes squinted as a grin hid under his bandana. "Just my pet wanting approval."

The blond nodded but quickly snapped his head to look behind him and stare at the man in shock. Since when did he manage to hook up with someone before Shalnark or himself?! Turning back around, Phinks frowned and grudgingly had to pay Shalnark when they closed the café for losing the bet.

═✩══╡˚✧❨✧˚╞══✩═

#feitan #hunter x hunter #feitan portor #reader insert #feitan portor x reader #hxh 2011 #hxh feitan #hxh fanfic #hxh one shot

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years

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Slashers x Reader(Mostly Chucky and Michael) || Oneshot

Title: Sometimes Its Best Not To Decide //or// She Will Always Unlock The Door

Notes:

Chucky is in human form here.

This is a strange ass AU where all the Slashers live in the same time(Including billy and Stu) that caters to my needs to write this shot.

Plot:

You want a normal life, but you will always let the dark in. Even if you don't want it.

Warnings: Swearing, mention of blood? mention of Sawyers?

~~~

It’s been months since I last saw them, so I figured I was okay. I could do this; I could take that last step into a normal life. My final, best chapter.

So, I took the plunge, the risk. I said yes to a nice boy, with glasses who wears a tie at the coffee shop and paid for my drink for me in the morning, and we went out earlier this evening. Everything went great, it was like a fairytale, compared to how the rest of my life has been.

When we nearly kissed is when things went downhill.

As soon as his nose brushed on mine, feather light and not heated at all - nice, -, that’s when the loud, barking knocks on my front door started.

And I knew immediately who it had to be of course, but I still hoped it was just a really, really enthusiastic salesperson.

At 11 at night.

Of course, I was right initially, and the minute I opened that door all hell broke loose. Michael’s brought in from the rain, getting puddles of blood and water all over my damn floor and Chucky drops him on my perfect cream coloured couch. “What the hell happened to him??” I’m asking, hyper aware that he’s injured but Danial is still standing right there by the kitchen doorway, adorably confused. I round on Chucky, who doesn’t seem as concerned as he should be, seeing the situation. “What do you want??”

“Well, I tried to put him down when I found him but then he threw a fucking handful of mud in my face,” He wipes some of what’s left of the mud, off his face. “And kept trying to come here so I came along.”

“Why??” I wouldn’t have stopped the rude lilt to my tone just then if I could have. He just looks amused, at my anguish though and turns back to the bleeding murderer on my couch, which is turning red. I glance at Danial, fearing his reaction, then turn back pleadingly to Chucky. As if him and Michael leaving now will make things easier at all for my poor, now self-destructing ‘normal life’. “Can’t you just leave? Michael will be fine- Michael you’ll be fine. You always are. Take off the mask and go to Hospital- Chucky. I’m on a date.” I clasp my hands together and try to ignore the pinging guilt in my gut for trying to get rid of them, when I know Michaels in pain. But I told them, I can’t be a part of this anymore! I don’t want it; I don’t want his life!

“Aww, doll, you’re gonna abandon him in a time of need? Here I thought you were the good one.”

“Fuck you!” I am the good one, which is why I don’t want anything to do with this. First it’s Michael and Chucky, then I start getting dreams again, and Jason thinks its okay to come over when he’s lonely, I’ll get phone calls from Billy, and then I’ll have the whole fucking Sawyer clan in my home. As much as it hurts, and has downsides like leaving my friends, I cannot be connected to this anymore. I can’t say it enough! I want a normal life! And they know that! “Get out, get out of my house. And make sure to tell Drayton on your travels that this is not a stowaway home and to stop sending me letters with money, I don’t care how much he can pay me.” I put a hand on Chucky’s back and attempt to push him out of the house. I nearly succeed because he’s letting me by some miracle until he turns out of my clutches and back into the living room. Damnit!

I watch, hopelessly as he plops himself down in an armchair. And turns… to… Danial. “So, you’re the new toy?”

“U-Um, sorry? I-s that Michael Myers? Are you- “

“Charles Lee Ray, nice to meet you. Y/N tell you we’re old buddies?” A devious smirk reaches his lips, and he really is a concerning picture right then. With wild hair and a muddy coat. Oh crap, he’s getting mud on my armchair. “No, I guess she wouldn’t. Too much of a priss to be connected to me.” A second passes and Chucky raises his eyebrows like he just remembered something. “Oh! Have you heard of Fredrick Krueger? He was on the news some years back, she’s pals with him to-“To stop him from talking, I grab a pillow and viciously hit him in the face with it.

Then I kneel down and put it under Michaels head, carefully. I guess there’s no getting rid of them now, the damage is done.

Danial looks to me, looking horrified myself even compared to his pale face. Quickly, I go towards him and try to explain. “I knew him as a kid, I don’t hurt people Danial- “What else can I say? Its best to be straight to the point and focused then to jabber on. I’ve done this all before.

Slowly, he nods. As if he understands. But he doesn’t look at my face, just the floor and occasionally he glances at either Michael or Chucky. “I think I need to go home, Y/N. I, I’m sorry.”

“No, I am.” I sigh, with a severely heavy heart as he walks past me knelt on the floor by the infamous Michael Myers, and leaves. As soon as the door shuts and the sound of rain is muffled, I turn furiously to Chucky. “You should be sorry, too.”

He levels with me, eyes going dark and smirk twisting into a dangerous grimace. “Look, Y/N, you let us in- “

“You pushed your way in! -“

“Irrelevant. You knew who would be at the door, more or less. You knew it would be one of us at least. You can try to pretend to be Plain Jane all you like, but when the wolf comes knocking on your door, you will always open it for him. Your soul is slate grey, get the fuck over it.”

I can’t agree with that because that life, is not what I want. But I can’t disagree either because the simple fact that Michaels hair between my fingers, as I comfort him mask-less makes me feel warm inside. Comfortable, in the right place.

While I get up and grab the medical kit, Chucky pulls out a cigarette and a lighter and lights up, and Michael shifts on the couch tiredly. “I didn’t come up with the Plain Jane thing, by the way. That was Ghostface boy.”

“So, this has been a topic of conversation??” I ask, sternly, half a decibel from vicious really. He chuckles, and nods, causing me to sigh heavily and start looking for Michael’s wound. Really, it could be anywhere. His outfits ripped up in places and there’s blood everywhere. Probably not all his, but it’s still very confusing.

He blows tobacco smoke into my living room. “Hehe, yep.” I find the wound and clear the area, to start cleaning it. Its on Michaels side, as if someone took a machete Jason style and wacked him right in the side with it. Not too deep, though. He’s just lost a lot of blood. I get a roll of toilet paper and get to work cleaning the area. It smells terrible. I don’t think people talk about the smell, enough. It really is rank. At least for me. So metallic, and totally unbreathable.

Quietly, I excuse my actions to them both. “I just don’t think, that because I love you,” And, by that, I mean all of them. Someone had to in this life and I guess that’s me, despite everything they’ve done. That’s what I tell myself. “That I should be taken away from my life, because of it.”

“But, there’s a part of you that loves it. The chaos and danger. Every good girl does, and yours grows every time one of us contacts you.”

“How dare you be so deep.” I half joke, carefully cleaning closer to the gash so Michael won’t move. When I’m done with that, I throw the tissues indifferently to the floor, where Chucky already tread mud. Its not like it can get any worse. Not wanting to talk about this anymore, I start sewing up Michael, feigning the fact that I need to concentrate. I know Chucky knows that, at this point, I don’t need to concentrate when doing this -I’ve stitched him and the rest up enough times to do it with my eyes closed,- but he grants me a few minutes of silence, thank goodness.

When I finish, I wipe the area quickly, but carefully to get every possibly infected spot with a medical wipe and get up. “Michael, you should be okay in the morning. I mean, I would recommend to anyone but you that you should rest for a few more days, but I know you wont. So, I’m just putting that idea out there at this point.” Wiping blood off my hands and onto my jeans -date jeans!!- I turn tiredly to Chucky who’s just quietly chain smoking away on the chair. “Are you gonna stay tonight? Cuz if you are, you’re taking a shower. You already owe me 15 bucks to get the mud out of that chair.”

“A gracious offer, but I got a hiding place for tonight.” He aims a dirty smirk at me then, hinting at something about his new hiding place that I really don’t want to think too hard about, and then pushes off the chair. He walks on by me, but before he can pass, he stops and turns to me one last time. “Think about what I said, Y/N. You’re lucky you get to live both worlds- even with us crashing into this one too often. If it were up to just Michael or Jason, or even Freddy, and definitely those crazy hick Sawyers, you wouldn’t see normal life again. You’d be kept in a basement, or a coma. Be happy with what you have, because we love you too. But not enough to respect your freedom if you go too far.” He looks down at me carefully through his hair. “Got it?”

Same old threats… “Yeah, I got it.” … But they’re getting closer to being real, I know that. Not all the love and care in the world could change their inability to handle loss without a fight. And if it came to a fight, I would most definitely lose.

A few minutes after he leaves, I check on Michael again and find he’s sleeping peacefully on the couch. If I was honest with myself, I like him there. I like having him around- I like having them all around. A musty old forest zombie isn’t so scary when you come to feel safe with him around, and nightmares aren’t so bad when they include mostly bad puns and dad jokes. Just like a crazy, possibly incestuous, definitely cannibalistic and slightly off the hanger family isn’t unbearable when they leave aside a plate of veggies just for you because they know you won’t eat human.

I love them, and I want them around. And if I was honest with Chucky, I would agree that I couldn’t survive without the splash of danger and extraordinary in my life. But I won’t, because if I do then I’m locked in, but then again if I say it isn’t true then I’m lying to myself. And he might leave and take the rest with him. So, sometimes it’s best not to decide.

Finally, I turn off the light and whisper goodnight to Michael and go to bed.

#Slashers x Reader #Chucky #Charles Lee Ray #Chucky x Reader #Michael Myers x Reader #Sawyer Family #Drayton Sawyer #Jason Voorhees #Freddy Krueger #Ghostface #Stu Macher #Billy Loomis #Sometimes Its Best Not To Decide #She Will Always Unlock The Door

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skypalacearchitect · 3 years

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Sandy Saeteurn grew up in Richmond, California, where Chevron’s massive 3,000-acre oil refinery reigns supreme. She’s no stranger to the refinery’s chemical flares, and she spent many of her childhood days home sick. She’s not the only one who has learned to link the refinery and the presence of illness in her community: A 2008 study (co-authored by Grist board member Rachel Morello-Frosch) found that almost half of all homes in the area had indoor levels of refinery-related particulate matter pollution that exceeded the state’s air quality standards.

Every day for nearly 120 years — longer than the city has existed — the refinery has processed thousands of barrels of oil. Its flares regularly paint the sky burnt orange before thick grey clouds of smoke cover the city. Chevron’s influence stretches beyond its pollution and the 3,500 refinery jobs it provides as the city’s largest employer — it also showers money on local elections and even runs a local newspaper, the Richmond Standard, which has been known to cast a positive light on the company.

Ever since Black residents first arrived in large numbers in the 1940s, people of color have been relegated into low-quality housing surrounding the city’s large industrial zones. Today the city, which is 82 percent non-white and home to large groups of migrants from Latin America and Southeast Asia, has worse air pollution than 94 percent of the country, according to data from the Environmental Protection Agency, which has cited the refinery for environmental violations roughly 150 times since 2016. The city’s childhood asthma rate is more than double the national average and, in the immediate aftermath of an explosion at the refinery in 2012, more than 15,000 people were forced to seek medical treatment for respiratory distress.

Chevron funds around one-third of Richmond’s annual budget through taxes and municipal services the company provides, which includes education and workforce development programs. When the company wanted to modernize its facility in 2008, it offered the city $11 million for the Richmond Police Department to “increase the number of police officers on the street,” according to a document outlining Chevron’s community benefits agreements with the city. The modernization project was eventually blocked after community groups sued the city for failing to do a proper environmental impact analysis, but a 2015 agreement between Richmond and Chevron ultimately set aside $2 million for Richmond police. Over the past decade, Richmond police have arrested hundreds for protesting the plant’s emissions.

As a child, Saeteurn and her family didn’t think to connect the Chevron plant and their disposition to illness. “Growing up there was a lot of explosion drills, and we never understood what they meant,” Saeteurn told Grist. “In elementary school, Chevron would come and have certain programs for kids, giving us money for books and school supplies. I left elementary school thinking ‘oh wow, Chevron’s a great company,’ when in reality they were slowly killing us.”

Saeteurn’s lighthearted view of Chevron didn’t last long. By age 14, she was a dedicated organizer and member of the Asian Pacific Environmental Network, or APEN, which is based in both Richmond and nearby Oakland. She’s used her struggles against environmental injustices to fuel her work, helping to organize influential campaigns such as the first-ever county-wide multilingual warning system, which now warns Richmond residents of looming chemical flares in Spanish, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Lao.

In response to questions from Grist, Chevron provided a statement saying that its Richmond workforce “takes its role as good neighbors seriously and continually works to reduce our environmental footprint and to improve reliability.” The statement listed modernization projects, such as a new hydrogen processing unit, which have contributed to reducing the site’s “air emissions by 86 percent over the last 40 years,” according to the company.

Because of the way issues like a growing housing crisis, immigration, and police violence intersect in the San Francisco Bay area — where more than 350 refineries and fossil fuel companies are based — Saeteurn and other organizers at APEN have been at the forefront of reframing the environmental justice movement to incorporate all aspects of residents’ encounters with their lived environments, whether that’s unwanted interactions with the police or gentrification and the displacement of poorer people from their home communities. This is a reimagining of the traditional focuses of environmental organizations that have long prioritized organizing around issues like toxic waste or access to public parks, while leaving issues like housing and criminal justice to different organizations.

“We think of environmental justice as being about how our communities get to be in relationship with our environment,” Alvina Wong, APEN’s campaign and organizing director, told Grist. “That means trees, air, and water — but also our neighborhoods, our homes, and how we get to be in relationship with each other.”

Saeteurn, a local political director with the group, said that this message resonates with the residents APEN serves.

“When the community talks about the environment, they’re not talking about clean air or water — what they’re really talking about is their struggles,” she explained. “So when we talk with the community about how the environment is impacting them, they’re not saying ‘oh yeah, Chevron’s in my backyard.’ They’re saying, ‘I can’t afford my rent. Oh yeah, the energy bill is going up and now I can’t afford food.’”

Besides continuing a long struggle with Chevron in Richmond, APEN has also been a crucial part of recent campaigns to move millions of dollars away from Richmond and Oakland police to do things like building new supportive housing for people experiencing homelessness and mental illness, as well as increasing residents’ access to healthy food through affordable markets. The organization has worked on recent campaigns for rent control and tenant rights in both cities, including mutual aid projects to crowdsource funds for rent and food for community members. It has fought to pass the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act, which would grant tenants two months notice and the first opportunity to purchase their home if their landlord plans to put their building on the market.

“Our work is trying to make the connection to a bigger kind of struggle related to racism,” said Saeteurn. “We’re here next to a refinery because of racism, which is the same reason why our members get stopped by the police or harassed on the streets. Environmental justice is about who we can call community, and what access we have to the environment around us.”

APEN came to fruition after a proposal at the First National People of Color Environmental Justice Leadership Summit in 1991, when summit participants noticed that Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders were largely underrepresented. The summit was attended by activists from everywhere from Puerto Rico to Vietnam and Laos, as well as other territories struggling with American chemical waste. During and following the American bombing of Vietnam and Laos in the 1960s and 1970s, thousands of Southeast Asian migrants fled to the Bay area and Richmond in particular. Connecting the dots between environmental injustices in America and the environmental fallout from American firebombing and the use of Agent Orange in their home countries, Bay area delegates decided to form an organization centered on the leadership of Asian immigrant and refugee communities.

“APEN is so successful because our organizing incorporates our cultural heritage and our own legacy fighting aggression and chemical warfare in our homelands,” Wong said. “For us, this memory of how our homelands were affected both physically and culturally by environmental violence and war allows us to really address the root causes of injustice.”

Since 1991, APEN has been an unstoppable organizing force, working to pass bills mitigating pollution, like SB32, which in 2016 laid the foundation for many greenhouse gas emission goals we see today. In 2018, they were part of a coalition that helped push Chevron to pay out a $5 million settlement for its 2012 explosion. Most recently, APEN helped spearhead the Reimagining Public Safety Task Force in Richmond, which just passed a reallocation of $10 million away from Richmond police to fund various community services. (In a short phone interview with Grist, Richmond Mayor Tom Butt acknowledged Chevron’s mighty role in city life and said that the city council is doing everything in its power to act as a counterweight to the fossil fuel giant.)

APEN is hardly alone in its expansive approach to environmental justice. It’s a member of the California Environmental Justice Alliance, which includes Bay area groups like Communities for a Better Environment, or CBE, and People Organizing to Demand Environmental and Economic Rights, or PODER. Two weeks ago, APEN, CBE, and PODER led Richmond’s participation in the 8th annual Global Anti-Chevron day of protest, drawing more than 100 people who participated in chants and painted murals in front of the refinery to protest the refinery’s emissions and hold it accountable for its alleged commitment to racial justice.

Denny Khamphanthong, an APEN community organizer who worked on the campaign to reallocate funds from Richmond’s police budget, says APEN’s approach to justice is not only about saving the environment around him, but also about building a safer future for his family’s next generations.

“What we’re all trying to do is build a better world so that our community can thrive,” Khamphanthong told Grist, “which requires our community to be funded and resourced in a way that feels most important to us, whether it be less police on our streets or less pollution in our air.”

#APEN #Asian Pacific Environmental Network #san francisco bay area #environmental justice #environmental activism #intersectionality #skypalacearchitect #idk what else to tag this

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hillblah · 3 years

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Podcast Recommendations:

I just spent nearly 2 hours writing these for a work Teams thread #justpandemicthings. So uh, here you go. If you’re following this blog (why tho?) you might like my vibe, so you might like some of these! Finding categories is hard, so I've mostly lumped podcasts together in small groups by loose connections, or vibes. This is also how I sort my bookshelf after admitting defeat on having a perfectly coherent system. Past me would have been horrified, but I think that's what growth looks like. Some descriptions are all mine, some are copied from the creators. Feel free to read into which ones I copied and which I wrote myself as much as you want.

Fiction:

36 Questions A 3 part musical podcast about a couple on the brink of divorce. The title references the "36 Questions to Fall in Love" (/build intimacy) that can be found here: https://bigthink.com/ideafeed/how-to-fall-in-love-36-questions-and-deep-eye-contact

Alice Isn't Dead Audio diaries of a long road trucker searching for her wife who she thought had died, but Alice Isn't Dead. Really cool sound design and writing from the team behind Welcome to Nightvale. Slight absurdist/ more than slight horror vibes. There's 3 seasons in total that tell a meandering overall story roadtrip. Best listened to while parked in an empty carpark on the edge of town with rain running down the windshield and creating flickering shadows from the streetlights. It took me a few attempts to listen right through the first episode, but I eventually fell in love with the sound/feel/vibe of the podcast. Teaser is here: http://www.nightvalepresents.com/aliceisntdead

The Magnus Archives A horror fiction podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Each episode is presented in the form of a witness statement being read by the newly appointed Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute - London. Over time the stand-alone statements start to form connections, and then an overarching plot. I don't normally enjoy horror, The Magnus Archives is absolutely the exception. Really well told stories with incredible soundscaping. Maybe don't listen right before bed...

Kiwi Podcasts about Sexuality and Gender:

Micro Wave Feminism Micro Wave Feminism is a place for open, inclusive, loving and vulnerable feminist chats. It's all about talking to real people about real sh*t and experiences of femininity and masculinity in this crazy (beautiful) world we live in. Really interesting discussions on feminism through the personal experiences of kiwis. Sporadic episodes as a non-professional labour of love, but boy does it have cozy vibes.

BANG! RNZ's BANG! explores sex, sexuality and relationships over a lifetime, from parents attempting "the talk" with their children, through the fraught teen years, modern dating, long-term relationships, contraception and conception, right up to intimacy in retirement homes. So many people talking about their experiences with all aspects of sex, sexuality, relationships and gender. My personal favourite is the Takātapuia episode from season 2: https://www.rnz.co.nz/programmes/bang/story/2018651794/bang-season-2-episode-6-takatapui

Let's Get Sexual Let’s Get Sexual is a podcast dedicated to exploring sexuality. It is part of the growing global movement to normalize conversations around sexuality, to embrace its complexity, and highlight how we all have our own sexual journeys. Similar vibes to BANG! But with a more personal approach and more time with each guest. Really interesting conversations with people from all walks of life.

Kiwi Current and Not So Current Events:

Gone by Lunchtime The Spinoff's politics podcast. A good balance of views from the 3 hosts, and the only politics podcast that has made me laugh out loud multiple times.

The Citizen's Handbook Robbie Niccol (White Man Behind a Desk/that guy that I went to school with) partners with RNZ for a video series all about the history of Aotearoa, and the things all citizens need to know about where we are now. There's also a podcast that goes with it, that's a game show? Really the video series is the more important part... But the podcast is a great listen.

Isolation:

The Habitat The true story of six volunteers picked to live on a fake planet. You know those stories that occasionally pop up about people living in isolation with each other to see what happens so we know about the problems and can prepare for space travel? Well this 7 episode podcast follows a group of 6 imitation NASA astronauts stuck with only each other for a year. Something I'm sure the rest of us will never have to experience right?

Our Plague Year Essays and listener messages about Our Plague 'Year'. Some really talented writers pouring emotions out. This was one of my favourite podcasts last year, though some of the episodes hit a little hard. My personal favourite episode (so far) is Trust Ends at the Windshield, featuring Hank Green, Meg Bashwiner, and Erin McKeown. Which talks about the the-show-must-go-on mentality, includes this gem: "We are killing people because we are bored. We are killing people because we are entrenched in a toxic, capitalist society that values money over life.", and was one of the triggers for me writing a 12 minute, spoken word, poetry adjacent, thing, last year.

Doing Stuff:

Cortex CGP Grey (educational youtuber) and Myke Hurley (host of about 50 podcasts) talk about productivity, and how they run their businesses, and education, and the Apple ecosystem, and a whole bunch of other things. Long episodes, and occasionally dated by reference to current events. Definitely not a super condensed productivity podcast, more of a personality / sitting in on a conversation vibe.

Start With This Art is hard, starting is hard, if you want to start somewhere you should start with this. The co-creators of Welcome to Nightvale talk about making things/the artistic process. Every episode ends with 2 assignments, one thing to consume, and one to create.

Building Positive Culture:

Dare To Lead Brené Brown talking with other people about Leadership. Really interesting and inspiring conversations. Top recommendation is the episode with Simon Sinek.

A Bit of Optimism Simon Sinek talking with other people about working together to make a better world. Really interesting and inspiring conversations. Top recommendation is the episode with Brené Brown.

TED Worklife Organizational psychologist Adam Grant takes you inside the minds of some of the world’s most unusual professionals to explore the science of making work not suck. From learning how to love criticism to harnessing the power of frustration, one thing’s for sure: You’ll never see your job the same way again. Pretty new on my feed, but every episode I've listened to so far has been an absolute hit!

Interesting Stories/People:

TED Radio Hour TED talks, collated into similar subjects with extra stuff pulled out interview style. Good to search through the archives to find areas you're interested in, or just pick a random episode and dive in!

99% Invisible - 10,000 Years [person from work who I’m too lazy to edit out a reference to] has already recommended the podcast, but I want to throw in my favourite episode. It's about the challenge of trying to mark nuclear waste sites in a way that will last 10,000 years (for reference 10,000 years ago stone tools were a pretty neat invention) and is absolutely fascinating. https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/ten-thousand-years/

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fortheloveoffanfic · 4 years

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Love; Lost (part 2)

John Wick x Reader (A/n- the only canon thing about this is that John is an assassin with a cute dog.)

Part1

Warnings- (more) Angst, pregnancy (does that need a warning?)

5 years ago To Y/n, fall in New York always went by vastly underrated. Sure, there were some places in the city where you could walk a mile without seeing a single tree, and the sheer volume of people made the air typically seem more humid than necessary, but there were also little sections of the sleepless city that could turn out to be absolute gems. As it turned out, Central Park, while it couldn't really be called a "hidden gem", was actually a cornerstone of New York's autumn experience. The air was cleaner, the surroundings somehow seemed brighter and when the leaves changed, they created the perfect, picturesque scene.

That day, she had really just been scouting for a place that would afford her some good shots. She had recently been hired by a popular fashion house to do their fall shoot and after seeing their sample pieces, Y/n had decided that a natural backdrop would perfectly compliment the line.

By noon, she had been already been at the park for a couple hours, snapping pictures at spots she liked, drawing nearer and nearer to the thick foliage, that had at some point, gone from healthy, lush green to warm orange and red.

Closer to the forests, the crowd was thinner and the scene was beginning to look more conducive to Y/n's upcoming shoot. She could already see it; the models would pose among the trees, the brightly colored leaves perfectly blending with the popping colors of the outfits.

Y/n was just a couple feet into to the thicker part of the forest when she saw him; a dog, no owner in sight. The grey pit-bull sniffed around, shifting leaves around with his nose, apparently searching for something. Curious and a little smitten by the canine a few feet away, Y/n lowered her camera, trying not to make any sudden movements or startling noises as she approached him.

He looked so cute, Y/n thought, not a care in the world, seemingly amused by the the crunch of the fallen leaves. Raising her camera again, and against her better judgment, Y/n took a couple pictures; the light filtering through the canopy created by the tall trees captured his healthy coat wonderfully and he didn't even seem to mind that there was a complete stranger cooing over him.

When a man cleared his throat loudly behind Y/n, she jumped startled. Gasping, she turned around, only to find the definition of "tall, dark and handsome" dressed in a off white Henley standing a couple feet away with his arms folded across his chest. At the sight of him, the dog perked up, trotting over towards him. A little taken aback by his looks, Y/n internally stammered for something to say, "God," she sighed eventually, letting the camera hang freely from her neck, "I'm so sorry," she smiled sheepishly, "I swear I'm not some weirdo taking pictures of your dog; he just looked so cute playing in the leaves, I couldn't help it."

Taking in her words, the man eventually smiled, crouching down to rub the mutt's head affectionately, "It's okay, I'd be lying if I said he doesn't love the camera," the man's smile widened and Y/n could help but feel the slightest tingle in her chest, "Isn't that right boy?" He took the dog's head in his large hands, letting him lick all over his face.

"Well he certainly has every right to, he's very photogenic," she quipped with a bright grin.

Beautiful. That was probably the only word that John could readily think of to describe the woman standing before him. Her hair was effortlessly wind blown and she seemed dressed the part of a born and bred New Yorker in tight jeans, a sky blue button up with a long thick coat over it and ankle boots. John couldn't remember a woman ever having that kind of effect on him; rendering him at a loss for confidence and aching to talk to her, to say something funny, just so he could hear what her laugh sounded like.

Swallowing his nerves, John glanced at Dog and then back at the gorgeous photographer, "Yeah," he chortled softly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "He is, isn't he. I'm John, by the way, sorry about startling you earlier."

Y/n chuckled quietly, blushing despite her brain's orders not to. John had a firm grip, though it felt like was purposely avoiding squeezing her hand too tightly and his palm and stocky fingers were calloused. "It's okay," Y/n breathed, "I'm Y/n." When John released her hand, they still lingered there, kept apart by a just about eight inches. Clearing her throat, Y/n inhaled, trying to fill the new silence, "So you're John, and he is....."

"Dog," John offered bluntly.

Y/n furrowed her brows, "Your dog's name is......Dog? That's actually kind of cute," Y/n giggled.

John chuckled too, "I guess it is." For a minute he wondered if he'd have to let her go. John didn't want too though, something about Y/n was already reeling him in; her musical laugh, her shy smile, something. Maybe that was love at first at first sight felt like. "Would you mind sending me those pictures?" John finally summed up the courage to ask.

Her cheeks and the tips of Y/n’s ears heated up, not sure if John just wanted to spend more time with her or if he actually wanted the pictures. “Sure,” she finally managed, “Just give me your email and I can do that tonight.”

“Great,” John bit his lip. He couldn’t believe himself, he was actually going to do it; he was going to ask Y/n out, even if he had only known her for just over fifteen minutes, “Maybe I could give it to you over coffee.”

Taken aback, Y/n blushed again, “Now?”

Suddenly nervous, John rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah,” he smiled tentatively, “If it’s good for you.”

Laughing giddily, “Yeah,” Y/n nodded, hoping she didn’t sound too eager, “It’s good for me. Lets get coffee.”

6 Weeks Later Y/n sat on the bed in the guest room of her best friend’s apartment. They had met in collage and had been roommates until graduation, so naturally, when she had left John, Lacy had been the one to suggest that Y/n crash at her place until she’d found something she liked. Y/n had been at Lacy’s little two bedroom apartment in the city for going on six weeks. The first three had been fine, though, tear filled, but as more time passed, Y/n had started to feel off. She couldn’t define it really, but she knew that something was different. Her clothes had started to fit differently, tighter in some areas, an occurrence that Y/n had passed off as a consequence of having ice cream for dinner but there were other things too. Frequent tension headaches, fatigue in the middle of the day and an odd repulsion to coffee, which she usually loved.

When Lacy had first suggested it, Y/n didn’t want to believe it; it couldn’t be, not now. But sitting there on the bed, with the truth staring back at her, Y/n realized that there was no escaping it; this was happening. The only thing she could do was make a decision going forward. “What are you gonna do?” Lacy broke the tense silence.

Y/n’s breath caught as tears welled up in her eyes. What was she going to do? Fumbling for words, she shook her head, tendrils escaping her loose ponytail and falling sadly over her paled face, “I don’t know......this is....” She trailed off, getting lost in her own though.

Pregnant?

How’d that happen?

Well, she knew how that happened.

But she and John were always careful; Y/n was on the pill. Granted, she’d sometimes forgotten to take it, but that wasn’t often, once, twice tops. “Well, this is just an opinion, but I think you should tell him,” Lacy had always strove to be a voice of reason, even when reasonable wasn’t something that Y/n particularly wanted.

Scoffing, Y/n stood abruptly, tossing the flimsy plastic test to the made sheets, trying to ignore how the two little pink lines mocked her. It sort of felt like a betrayal of her body. She couldn’t be pregnant! A single mother in her late twenties, without even as much as an apartment? Of course, Y/n knew she could afford a decent one, money wasn’t the issue, it was time. Just six weeks after she’d left John, in the midst of her career; where did a kid fit into that? Of course, Lacy was right, telling John was the most viable course of action, no doubt he was the father, but what kind of father could he be? He was an assassin!

Briefly, just for a minute, Y/n’s mind took her back to a time where John would promise to leave the criminal life behind so they could have a normal life, but that was years ago, and he never did it. And now, they weren’t even together. Y/n wasn’t even sure if she wanted kids. “No,” Y/n finally dismissed Lacy’s idea, nervously toying with a loose thread at the hem of her t-shirt, “No,” she repeated, “John is.....”

“A good man,” Lacy stood too, trying to still Y/n’s fidgeting hands, “You said it yourself. And it’s not like you’d be getting back with him, but don’t you think he deserves to know? This is his baby too.”

By then, quiet tears were falling freely, warm on her cheeks, her lips trembling slightly, “I know, I do, it’s just.....” if Y/n went back, she couldn’t trust herself to leave again.

Emotion overtook her and Y/n finally let a chocked sob escaped her lips. Sighing, Lacy pulled her into a hug, her hands rubbing soothingly over her back, it was nothing like John’s hugs, warm, protecting and consuming, but it was still filled with love from one friend to another. “It’s okay,” she whispered, low and close to Y/n’s ear, “Whatever you decide, I’m here for you, I’ll always be here for you.”

John’s sleep had grown fretful and unsatisfactory in the past six weeks and he’d only recently realized that it was because he had grown used to the security that Y/n offered. Of course, he’d often sleep alone when he was away for work, but it was always with the knowledge that she was at home, awaiting him, and when he’d return, she be there with ready arms and a safe haven, with an embrace that made him feel blissfully normal. Y/n made him feel loved. She made him feel at home, at ease. She made him feel safe.

Maybe that was why John had squeezed her so tightly, not just to protect her from his life, but because deep, deep down, he know that she was protecting him. Protecting him from the insanity that he always feared loneliness would drive him too, protecting him from himself. John missed her, he needed her and he craved her.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, John sat up in the bed, sparing a glace to the empty space next to him. For weeks, he’d tried patting the spot to coax Dog into sleeping next to him, but it was if even he knew that the spot closest to the awning window was reserved for only one person. It was hers, even if she no longer wanted it.

Swinging his legs out of bed, John didn’t bother with slippers as he padded out of the room towards the kitchen, Dog close on his heels. In the kitchen, John stood in front of the open fridge, trying to decide if he actually wanted something, or if he just needed a reason to be awake. Despite the late hour, he reached for a beer, though eventually decided against it, opting to go for something stronger; a glass of his preferred bourbon.

With the bottle in one hand and two fingers of the amber liquid in a crystal glass in the other, John slid into a stool at the kitchen counter. Dog wandered around the room, whining despondently when he neared a shelved table at the corner of room, where the wall of the kitchen and the hallway joined. The top was still littered with things she’d left behind, the kind of things that John assumed blurred the lines of ownership. Some of Dog’s toys, ornaments she’d bought in an attempt to add personality to the place and of course, more pictures. Standing about half foot away from the stand, Dog trotted in his place, whining and John took a lengthy sip before turning to him, “I know boy,” he sympathized, “I miss her too.”

Dog didn’t seem to notice John, and it pained him even more to think that they were both hurting. Y/n had been good to Dog, she adored him and often, he could return home to find them playing together in the backyard or cuddled on the sofa watching television. One of the reasons that John could often leave for work so readily was because he knew, that in his absence, Dog would protect Y/n with his life.

“Come ‘ere boy,” John called, and seeming to give into him, Dog just hung his head, moving over to lay at John’s feet. Though, the painful silence didn’t last long, because in just a couple minutes, his furry friend was up again, that time hurrying to the front door; barking as if to tell John to follow him, his ears alert. “What?” John grumbled, wondering what the dog could possibly want with outside at nearly one am.

At the front door, Dog jumped anxiously, barking and begging as John sifted though the keys, looking for the right one, “Alright, calm down,” he shushed, about to slip the right key into the slot when his trained ears heard it; the hum of a car growing closer and eventually parking at the top of his yard, light footsteps approaching the door.

Thinking the worst, John stepped away from the door; judging from the sound of the footfalls, his uninvited guest was on the lighter side. Not before long, soft knocks hit the heavy wooden door and John figured that the faint taps made the person seem almost afraid to draw his attention. Ignoring John wordless demands to get back, Dog lunged for the door again, barking excitedly, presumably begging John to open it.

After a debate, where through it, Dog primarily ignored him, John finally succumbed, unlocking the door and pulling it open, gasping quietly when he saw who it was. Swallowing tightly, John licked his lips, not even noticing that Dog had started jumping at her feet.

Briefly, Y/n bent, scratching between his floppy ears and hugging him quickly, one might have assumed she missed the animal more than she missed John. “Y/n,” even saying her name hurt, “What are you doing here? It’s so late.” Though a huge part of him was happy to see her, hoping it meant that she was coming back, John was also worried; she shouldn’t have been out past midnight alone, anything could happen.

Ignoring his question, Y/n’s fiddled with her fingers nervously and John thought she looked tired and a bit worn out, though still absolutely beautiful, the same woman he wanted to marry, the woman he’d still marry if given the opportunity. “Did I wake you?”

Raking his short nails through his scruff, John shook his head, “No, I uh....” haven’t been sleeping much, “Haven’t gone to bed yet.”

“Oh,” she forced a smile, though her breath shuddered and John could see the first hints of tears in her eyes, “Can we talk? Please?”

“Yeah, sure, of course,” John pulled the door open some more, “Come in,” he huffed, feeling a little strange inviting her in; he had bought the place long before he’d met Y/n, but it was her house too. Their home.

“Thanks,” she smiled tightly, pulling her thick, woolen cardigan closed as she stepped inside, more out of nervousness than coldness. Awkwardly, she waited for John to lead her towards the familiar kitchen. Immediately, she noticed the glass and the bottle, noting that he’d been drinking, but hoping it wasn’t too much.

Catching her staring John hesitantly offered, “Can I get you a glass?”

Y/n shuddered again, she loved whiskey almost as much as John did, learning loads about the drink from her father, who before his passing a couple years ago, was a collector of rare bottles. Even in her young age, Y/n could probably name the more popular labels by just tasting them. It was one of the things that she and John had bonded over in the beginning and before he passed, her father respected John’s refined taste. John and her father; they had become fast friends, Y/n wondered what he’d think now. Y/n also hated thinking that he’d never meet his first grand-kid.

“No thanks,” Y/n waved off his offer and she could see, even in the low lighting, the furrow in John’s brows.

“Okay,” John managed, moving the things away, “Should we sit?” He gestured to the stools.

“We should,” Y/n claimed the one next to John’s. Internally, she scolded herself for procrastinating. She had planned the entire thing in her head, yet, from the minute she saw him, all of her courage melted away, probably still in a puddle at the front door. She knew that it wouldn’t have been easy, but it shouldn’t have been that hard either. Absently, Y/n placed a hand at the top of her stomach, trying to quell the nerve included nausea all while slowing her heartbeat.

She hoped he hadn’t noticed, but John knew her better than most and worriedly, he reached out, tentatively resting his hand on her arm, his eyes worried, “You okay? Can I get you something?”

“No,” Y/n breathed, blinking away tears, “I’m fine, I just need to.....umm...” Blurting out seemed a little too brash and suddenly, Y/n was at a loss for the right words.

“Are you sure?” John felt a breath-stealing surge of worry swell in his chest. He hated seeing Y/n even remotely sick, and if he had his way, she’d never be troubled.

Nodding vigorously, Y/n swallowed tightly, “John, I uh.....I have to tell you something,” nonspeaking, John questioned her with his chocolate gaze, licking his lips, “I’m.....I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” He breathed. In another instance, he’d be overjoyed; it was one of the reasons he’d bought the ring. John had promised Y/n that he’d get out long ago, but lately, he’d finally started seeing a way of doing just that. No longer under the mob, he’d just have a few loose end to tie up before he was done for good and he and Y/n could get married and hopefully, soon start a family. The idea had given John a giddiness and he was over the moon with the prospect of their future. Had things gone as planned, John would have gathered Y/n in his arms from the minute she told him she was carrying their child. Hell, he might have been there when she found out.

But finding out like that; when she no longer lived with him, when she’d made it clear that he wasn’t any good for her, it was confusing. Part of him was still happy, he’d always wanted to be a father, so he could give someone the thing things he’d longed for as an orphaned child. But another part was worried; worried that she was only telling him to be polite, that she was about to follow it up with the admission that she didn’t want a part of him with her like that. Unknowing of how to proceed, John asked what he thought was the most logical, and perhaps impersonal question, “How far along are you?”

“Nine weeks,” Y/n looked down at her lap, before meeting his eyes once again, “I’ve only known for a few days now, so I understand if you’re surprised. I wasn’t expecting this either.”

Nodding, John stood, combing his hands through his hair. Her words had him a little unsettled, “Are you,” he winced at the words, hating how harsh they sounded, “Keeping it?” He’d respect her decision either way, it was her body after all, “Obviously, I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured-”

“I could never....” Y/n shuddered of at the thought; she respected the notion of choice, but she could personally never do it. “I’m keeping it,” shaking her head, Y/n corrected, “I’m keeping the baby,” she couldn’t get her head wrapped around the idea of calling their child an ‘it’ even if she logically knew it was still just a fetus and probably couldn’t even hear her.

Sighing in relief, John moved to the other side of the counter, all in an effort to put some distance between them and get his emotions under wraps, “Okay,” he dragged his lips between his teeth, “Have you done one of those......DNA test things?” he didn’t know why it mattered, but some part of him screamed that it did.

Scoffing, annoyed Y/n folded her arms, “This baby is obviously yours!”

“I know that,” John stressed, just realizing how insulting the question must have sounded, “I meant,” he searched for the words, though his very finite knowledge on the medical jargon had him stammering, “You know, one of those tests where you find out the gender.”

“Oh,” Y/n frowned, wishing she hadn’t just taken that tone with John. She knew him well enough to know that he trusted her. “No, I haven’t. I wanted to wait,” she smiled sheepishly, though it looked more like a faint frown.

Licking his lips, “Okay.” For a while, they fell into silence. Everything that he thought of saying felt wrong, like he’d be overstepping somehow. It was funny he thought, he’d known Y/n for five years, she was pregnant with their child, yet all it only took was six weeks to put a seemingly unbridgeable space between them. Though, according to Y/n, that distance had existed long before their break-up.

Courage. That’s what he needed. John typically had it in excess, his job required it. But that night, he seemed severely lacking in that department. His thoughts swam in a pool of confusion and indecision as he debated whether or not he should try to convince her to come back.

In the interim, Dog had made his presence known at Y/n’s side, somehow sensing that his other person needed him more than John did, stationed protectively at her feet.

Finally summoning some resolve, John reached over the granite, his fingers just barely brushing Y/n’s, “You could come back,” he suggested.

When she pulled her hand away, John had to pretend it didn’t sting and when Y/n stood, Dog did too, on high alert, “That’s not why I came here tonight. We don’t have to be together just because we’re having a baby together.”

“So why did you come?” John folded his arms across his broad chest, “So you could walk out of my life again, but make it hurt more this time?” He grew defensive, hating that she wasn’t willing to change her mind.

“You think I came here to hurt you?” Y/n’s voice rose, “I came here because it was the right thing to do. I don’t need you to....”

“To what Y/n?” John could feel the tension building between them, a long over due fight on the horizon, “To stifle you?”

Y/n chuckled humorlessly, “God, you’re so....” she sighed, ranking a hand through her hair, “No John, I’m more worried about you just popping in and out of this kid’s life. You know, like you did mine.”

“I told you, I only did that to keep you safe,” he managed through gritted teeth.

“And I told you that I didn’t need you to keep me safe!” She yelled. “You know what? Maybe coming here was a mistake,” already, Y/n was swiping her keys off the counter, and starting to walk off.

A few paces behind, John wasn’t ready to let her go so easily that time. He couldn’t let her got, not when she was mad, not when he felt, despite her protests, that it was his job to protect her and their baby, not when there was still so much he had to say, “Oh yeah?” John huffed, “And what were your other options? Hide it, do this on your own and never tell me about our baby?”

“Yeah John. And I was gonna do it too, but I figured that there were already enough secrets between us. Didn’t really feel like adding one more to the pile,” there was a venom in her tone and as they stood at the door John and Y/n both wondered where it came from. How did still loving each other turn into so much anger.?

They both stood there, eyes challenging, something tense flowing between them. Y/n did still love John, but that night wasn’t going the she’d expected it to, though, she wasn’t really sure what she was expecting. Maybe it would have been easier if John had told her he didn’t want the baby, that way she could disappear from his life with a reason to hate him, with an excuse to give their little one someday. But he just had to step up to the plate, be the good man she knew him as, make her love him even more.

On his end, there was so much John wanted to say; he wanted her to know that he had planned to get out, to commit fully to her and now, to raising their child. But the more she pushed him away, the more defensive he became. Not speaking, he held her gaze, not even knowing if trying to fix things would make them better or worse.

“I’m leaving John,” Y/n’s voice broke and John’s anger cracked. He didn’t want her to go. Y/n didn’t want to stay. His fingers itched to reach out, his heart bled with the desire to beg her to talk things through with him. But John knew Y/n; he knew her will and determination, how hard it was to change her mind when she’d made a decision. So instead of starting another fight, John let her go, just like he had nearly two months ago

That night was different though, there was a new bitterness between them, and something buried deep in the back of their minds told both John and Y/n that things weren’t near over.

*******

Tagging- @harrisongslimited

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