#have been assuming it's one of those Experience of Womanhood things

[genderkoolaid]

i am genuinely confused by something you said in your joan of arc post & i would love if you could clarify. you said "women afab can be trans. men amab can be trans." i understand how that applies to intersex people, who may be assigned a sex they identify with but have other sex characteristics that they get dysphoria from. or theyre assigned as one sex but once puberty hit they developed far more traits of the other sex, so they had to transition back to what they used to be. i understand those scenarios. but as far as we know, joan of arc wasnt intersex & you dont bring up intersex in your post. how can a non-intersex person transition to something they already are & have been for their entire life? changing how one presents, like changing their style of clothes to better suit their gender & personality, doesnt count as "transitioning" imo, cis people do that aaall the time, multiple times throughout their lives. so what do you actually mean by this??

So my definition of trans is very much inspired by Leslie Feinberg's definition of trans(gender): An umbrella term for "everyone who challenges the boundaries of sex and gender," in which ze specifically includes cross-dressing and GNC people who are men AMAB and women AFAB. I would define trans as being inclusive of anyone who queers sex and/or gender.

In my humble nonbinary opinion, we way over-rely on the idea of trans as being about identifying as a gender that isn't your assigned sex. I, for example, was assigned female and identify as (amongst other genders) a woman, but my womanhood is very much trans. For one, I was on T for two years and intend to get bottom surgery, but I was also alienated from typical cis girlhood for my entire life and my womanhood is inherently tied to me also being a man and abinary. My womanhood is not cisnormative at all.

"Woman" and "man" (and male and female) are all constructs. Just because someone may call themself a woman, and have been assigned female at birth, does not mean they identify as the same kind of woman that society expects and demands them to. There are different ways of constructing womanhood. The "gender identity that isn't AGAB" definition was built on the idea of trans people as going from one binary point to the other, with the assumption that "woman" and "man" are still Real Things with one natural meaning. Attempts at being nb-inclusive have basically just said "well nonbinary isn't a gender assigned at birth, so its trans!" which is completely true, but it also ignores all the nonbinary and genderqueer people whose genders are more nuanced than that.

On Jeanne d'Arc specifically, I actually have some relevant quotes on this:

(from Vested Interests: Crossdressing and Cultural Anxiety and Clothing and Gender Definition: Joan of Arc respectively)

This is why I included that line: because we often assume, in our exorsexism, that a historical figure must identify as a man/woman (cis), as the opposite (trans), or maybe as neither, but those are the only options. We are still limiting ourselves and these historical figures' by limiting how we understand gender and genderqueerness. To Jeanne, being a cross-dressing female virgin soldier could be its own gender, something different than the genders of cisnormative mothers and nuns.

& as a note: I feel like, a lot of the time, non-intersex people in the community will make exceptions for intersex people (like "well, intersex people can be transfemmascs/male lesbians/etc" but no one else!!!") which. doesn't actually seem that great for intersex people? Like aside from assuming that these genderqueer experiences can only be had by intersex people, it also means that if you identify that way, you must Prove that you are Allowed to be doing that, by both outing yourself as intersex and arguing that you are intersex Enough.

#m. #ask box #i hope this makes sense my brain still isnt working fully #trans history #transmasc history #theory

[molsno]

I've already written about why male socialization is a myth that needs to be discarded, but in the responses to those posts, I sometimes find tme trans people who concede that yes, the concept of male socialization should be rejected, but refuse to let go of their own supposed female socialization. this always makes me quite reasonably angry, for two reasons:

I dislike it when people hijack my posts about transmisogyny to talk about things that aren't transmisogyny.

rejecting male socialization but embracing female socialization is still innately transmisogynistic.

you might find yourself wondering how that second point could possibly be true. it's true for a lot of reasons, and I'll explain to the best of my ability.

"female socialization" is the idea that people who were assigned female at birth undergo a universal experience of girlhood that stays with them the rest of their lives.

right off the bat, this concept raises alarm bells. first, it is a bold (and horribly incorrect) assertion to claim that there is any universal experience of girlhood that is shared by all people who were afab. what exactly constitutes girlhood varies greatly based on culture, time period, race, class, sexual orientation, and many, many other factors. disregarding transness for a moment, can you really say that, for example, white women and black women in modern day america, even with all else being equal, are socialized in the same way? the differences in "socialization" only become more stark the fewer commonalities two given people have. to give another example, a white gay trans man born in 2001 to an upper middle class family in a progressive city in the north is going to have a very different life than a cis straight mexican woman born in 1952 to an impoverished family and risked her life immigrating to the us in the deep south. can you really say anything meaningful about the "female socialization" that these two supposedly have in common? I think that b. binaohan said it best in "decolonizing trans/gender 101":

Then in a singular sense we most certainly cannot talk about 'male socialization' or 'female socialization' as things that exist. We can only talk about 'male socialization**s**' and 'female socialization**s**'. For if we take the multiplicity of identity seriously, as we must, then we are socialized as a whole person based on the nexus of the parts of our identity and our axes of oppression. ... Indeed, it gets complex enough that we could assert, easily, that each individual is socialized in unique ways that cannot be assumed true of any other person, since no one else shares our **exact** context. Not even my sister was socialized in the same way that I was.

and while I could just leave it at that and tell you to read the rest of their book (which you should), it wouldn't sit right with me if I just debunked the concept without explaining exactly why it's transmisogynistic at its core.

now, I should preface this by saying that I believe trans people have a right to identify however they want, and I think that trans people deserve the space to talk about their lives before transition without facing judgment. there are tme trans people who consider themselves women and there are trans men who don't consider themselves women at all but nonetheless have a lot of negative experiences with being expected to conform to womanhood. I don't want to deprive these people of the ability to talk about their life experiences. however, I do want them to keep in mind a few things.

first of all, "female socialization" is terf rhetoric. terfs talk all the time about how womanhood is inherently traumatic, which they regularly use as a talking point to convince trans men to detransition and join their side. when your whole ideology hinges on the belief that having been afab predestines you to a life of suffering, who is a better target to indoctrinate than trans people for whom being expected to conform to womanhood was a major source of trauma and dysphoria? the myth of female socialization is precisely why there are detransitioners in the terf movement who vehemently oppose trans rights.

that's why when tme trans people talk about having undergone female socialization, it's almost always steeped in the underlying implication that womanhood is an innately negative experience. even if they don't buy into the biological determinism central to radical feminism, that implication is still present. because, you see, womanhood can still be innately negative because the result of being viewed as and expected to be a woman is that you are inundated with misogyny.

that right there is why clinging to the notion of female socialization is transmisogynistic. it allows tme trans people, many of whom don't even consider themselves women, to position themselves as experts who understand womanhood and misogyny better than any trans woman ever could. that's why I find it disingenuous when a tme trans person claims to reject male socialization but still considers themself as having undergone female socialization; how could they possibly benefit from doing so, other than by claiming to be more oppressed than trans women, by virtue of supposedly experiencing more misogyny?

by being viewed as more oppressed than trans women on the basis of female socialization, they gain access to "women's only" spaces that trans women are denied access to. their voices are given priority in discussions about gendered oppression. people more readily view them as the victims when they come into interpersonal conflict with trans women. they become incapable of perpetrating transmisogyny on the basis of being the "more oppressed" category of trans people.

how exactly could such a person not be transmisogynistic, though? if they believe that gendered socialization is a valid and universal truth that one can never escape from, then what does it even mean for them to reject the concept of male socialization? if they were to actually, vehemently reject it, then they would no longer be able to leverage their own "female socialization" to imply that trans women aren't real, genuine women on account of not having experienced it. and make no mistake - there are very few tme trans people who subscribe to the myth of gendered socialization that even claim to reject male socialization. most of the time, they're very clear about their beliefs that trans women have some "masculine energy" that we can never truly get rid of after having undergone a lifetime of being expected to conform to manhood. and as a result, they continue to treat trans women as dangerous oppressors.

that's why gendered socialization as a concept needs to be abandoned wholesale. there's nothing wrong with talking about your experiences as a trans person, but giving any validity to this vile terf rhetoric always harms trans women, just like it was intended to do from its very inception.

#txt #transmisogyny #my writing #1k

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I’m so happy your request are open again!

Could you do aemond comforting his wife while she’s on her period

thank you nonnie! so happy you sent in this ask, this is actually really perfect timing for me AHAHAHA god do I need my own Aemond right about now :(

hope you like this xx

Comfort this Agony

PAIRING: Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader

WORDS: 1,344.

WARNINGS: mentions of mensuration, period cramps and blood.

A/N - I think we can all assume most of the men in HOTD AU, especially the young ones are not too educated about woman's health and the whole idea of periods, so Aemond's a little clueless but he catches on pretty quick!

That familiar, dreadful sensation had been brewing in the pit of your stomach for past few days, and you knew precisely what was to follow. The unpredictable, emotional reactions to the smallest of things, the sudden craving to devour something sweet every few passing hours, [not to mention] how sensitive and swollen your breasts felt. It seemed the Gods had not yet blessed you with a babe in your belly, just yet...

Ever since you had entered the tipping point of your maidenhood many years and moons ago, it seemed you could never quite acclimate to the pain nor the goriness of your periods, despite many claiming womanhood to be a miraculous and beautiful thing. For many of those maturing years, you had been alone in seeking relief and solace during each visit of your monthly cycle, and yet now you had the companion of a man, a husband, in your life with whom would be present in these experiences.

A wonderful man, he is though...

"Aemond, baby-" You did not wish to stir him so abruptly from his deep, peaceful sleep. You'd witnessed how exhausting his day had progressed: training in the bright and early hours in the morrow, only to proceed in running errands on behalf of the realm, as the dutiful Prince Regent. Since, his return in the late hours of the evening, Aemond retired to bed, looking so defeated, as he clambered himself to bed, seeking your warm comfort and solace. After a solid year of marriage, you grew accustomed to reading his face, for he was a man of very few words: this time a weary look drenched across his handsome, pale face, desperate for an ounce of some good night's rest.

"Aemond-" You softly whispered again, although this time with some urgency in your broken voice. With each passing minute, as your husband began to stir awake, you could feel the warm, liquid oozing between your inner thighs. Slowly, wincing in great pain your begin to pull the bed sheets down, checking in the dim candlelight that the white linen are free from stains, as you examine the mess beneath.

Aemond hearing your faint winces, he immediately wakes up, seating himself up hastily as he focuses on you, realising the reason you'd awoken in the first place.

"Aemond, dearest, could you fetch me a wet towel, please." Without a second to spare, Aemond was wife awake, swiftly moving towards the bedside basin as he quickly rings the wet cloth and rushes it over towards you.

"I-I'm so sorry you have to see me like this, I-I must've miscalculated my cycle-"

"Do not apologise, my sweet girl." Aemond interrupts you, in his deep, tender sleepy voice. Instinctively, his hand reaches over stroking your back gently, as you attempt to wipe yourself clean.

"Does it hurt my dearest?" He quiveringly questions, as he observes you with a sorrowful look on his face, his eye glancing from the bloody mess to your tearful, flustered face.

“Hmm, just a little. Nothing I haven’t endured before," You muster, although he can tell the pain is agonising, as you struggle to maintain focus with him, your bashful face slightly contorting in pain from the sharp cramps.

"You must be disgusted by me, I apologise, Aemond-" You persisted, as you stood yourself up in a haste, rummaging through the wooden wardrobe for your thick, sanitary cloths you used to fold into a makeshift pad. Just before you'd turned your back towards Aemond, ashamed of the sight unfolding before him, you noticed his face look away for a slip second, a hint of frustration strewed across.

Laying the folded pads neatly in your undergarments, you adjusted yourself comely, before turning to face Aemond, who remained focused on you.

A defeated sigh escapes his defined mouth, before he turns to look down at the bloody stained mess before him, remnant of where you had once laid comfortably.

"Seven Hells!" You cry out, as you hastily rush forward to undo the sheets from the mattress. Although, a firm grip of a large, rough hand tugging you by the wrist, caught your motions. He pulled you down, gesturing you to seat yourself on a clean spot near the foot of the bed by him, his thumb stroking your soft, cool skin.

“Y/N, I need you to stop apologising. You need not to be sorry over such matters. I must confess, shamefully, I do not know much about these things. Naturally, from what I’ve seen with my mother and Helaena, however, I do know that it is not a pleasant experience. Tell me what I can do to help you, my love."

"I-I just want to rest but I'll have to change these sheets. I know how tired you are, Aemond, and I apologise for waking you-"

"Jorrāelagon [Love], what did I mention about the apologising, hmm? I do not care if I miss a few hours of sleep, I cannot rest if you are hurting."

A slight tilt to your head, as you longingly fastened your gaze upon the dearest man before you, a heartfelt smile beaming on your face naturally.

"You take a seat by the fire, I'll fetch a maid to help me change the sheets. Do you wish for some milk of the poppy or some other remedy for the pain?"

Aemond stands himself up, before pulling you up with him, as he walks you over slowly towards the chair by the fire, grabbing his pillow as he props it appropriately, behind your back.

"I-I'll just have a peppermint tea, if that's possible. I find it helps ease the pain. But A-Aemond, please, I can help you change the sheets-"

"Nonsense, you will do no such thing, ābrazȳrys [wife]. You need to rest now." He plants a soft kiss on your hand as he kneels before you, making certain you are well adjusted and comfortable for the mean time.

He leaves the room swiftly, after donning a loose, linen white shirt, and some evening, black trousers. Intent on completing the tasks he'd set out to do on your behalf.

****

The bed linen now changed, clean and fresh, you settled yourself back into the cosy, soft material, as Aemond fetched the brewing kettle and tea from the servant at the door, along with some extra goodies he instructed to bring.

"Aemond, you spoil me so..." You whisper sweetly, as you take the hot mug from his hands, as he rests the half filled kettle by the table, close by in case you wish for a refill.

"It is too late in the hour to be eating these sweets, please join me."

"Do not fret, my dearest. I've noticed from before what you crave in these times. I wish for you to be sated and nothing less." He utters, a gentle smile on his face, as he watches the relief wash over you taking the first sip of the tea. His hand rests over your stomach covered by the sheet, making sure not to exert too much pressure.

"Do you wish for me to massage you? I can help soothe the pain."

"No-No, it is fine, husband-"

Although, there was no use protesting. His hand instinctively began to gently move from side to side, as he began to knead against the tender, swollen pit of your lower stomach.

"Do not think you should endure this matter alone, Y/N. I am your husband... I intend to comfort this agony by your side, as I vowed before the realm and the Gods, many moons ago. To love you in sickness and in health."

Reassuringly holding his tough hand in yours, you pull on his long fingers, encouraging him to move closer. Your hand now reaching over, cupping his chiseled face, you plant a long, soft kiss on his forehead as he leans towards you. You contemplate how blessed to have been, to have an endearing, unfaltering husband, such as Aemond by your side.

"You are far too good to me, Aemond. How could I have been so lucky?"

#aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #aemond targaryen imagines #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen fluff #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond x reader #aemond x y/n #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #hotd imagines #hotd imagine #hotd fanfiction

[sailor-rowling]

I believe a woman is a human being who belongs to the sex class that produces large gametes. It’s irrelevant whether or not her gametes have ever been fertilised, whether or not she’s carried a baby to term, irrelevant if she was born with a rare difference of sexual development that makes neither of the above possible, or if she’s aged beyond being able to produce viable eggs. She is a woman and just as much a woman as the others.

I don’t believe a woman is more or less of a woman for having sex with men, women, both or not wanting sex at all. I don’t think a woman is more or less of a woman for having a buzz cut and liking suits and ties, or wearing stilettos and mini dresses, for being black, white or brown, for being six feet tall or a little person, for being kind or cruel, angry or sad, loud or retiring. She isn't more of a woman for featuring in Playboy or being a surrendered wife, nor less of a woman for designing space rockets or taking up boxing. What makes her a woman is the fact of being born in a body that, assuming nothing has gone wrong in her physical development (which, as stated above, still doesn't stop her being a woman), is geared towards producing eggs as opposed to sperm, towards bearing as opposed to begetting children, and irrespective of whether she's done either of those things, or ever wants to.

Womanhood isn't a mystical state of being, nor is it measured by how well one apes sex stereotypes. We are not the creatures either porn or the Bible tell you we are. Femaleness is not, as trans woman Andrea Chu Long wrote, ‘an open mouth, an expectant asshole, blank, blank eyes,’ nor are we God’s afterthought, sprung from Adam’s rib.

Women are provably subject to certain experiences because of our female bodies, including different forms of oppression, depending on the cultures in which we live. When trans activists say 'I thought you didn't want to be defined by your biology,' it’s a feeble and transparent attempt at linguistic sleight of hand. Women don't want to be limited, exploited, punished, or subject to other unjust treatment because of their biology, but our being female is indeed defined by our biology. It's one material fact about us, like having freckles or disliking beetroot, neither of which are representative of our entire beings, either. Women have billions of different personalities and life stories, which have nothing to do with our bodies, although we are likely to have had experiences men don't and can't, because we belong to our sex class.

Some people feel strongly that they should have been, or wish to be seen as, the sex class into which they weren't born. Gender dysphoria is a real and very painful condition and I feel nothing but sympathy for anyone who suffers from it. I want them to be free to dress and present themselves however they like and I want them to have exactly the same rights as every other citizen regarding housing, employment and personal safety. I do not, however, believe that surgeries and cross-sex hormones literally turn a person into the opposite sex, nor do I believe in the idea that each of us has a nebulous ‘gender identity’ that may or might not match our sexed bodies. I believe the ideology that preaches those tenets has caused, and continues to cause, very real harm to vulnerable people.

I am strongly against women's and girls' rights and protections being dismantled to accommodate trans-identified men, for the very simple reason that no study has ever demonstrated that trans-identified men don't have exactly the same pattern of criminality as other men, and because, however they identify, men retain their advantages of speed and strength. In other words, I think the safety and rights of girls and women are more important than those men's desire for validation.

J.K. Rowling

#jk rowling #j.k. rowling #pro jkr #jkr #they basically made her write her essay from 2020 again and still will not read this

[this-is-exorsexism]

here's the thing:

exorsexism functions differently than antitransmasculinity and transmisogyny, which is why binary trans people do have privilege over nonbinary people.

exorsexism is based on identity and not/hardly about how you are seen by society. this is because the gender binary has been created to exclude nonbinary genders/gender identities. the gender binary positions two valid options when it comes to gender: (exclusively, fully and always) male and (exclusively, fully and always) female. the gender binary is not about gender roles, as there are plenty GNC men and women whose identity comfortably fits into those categories - gender expression doesn't equal gender. the gender binary is also not the same as cissexism or cisnormativity, as many trans people comfortably fit into one of the two aforementioned options. nonbinaryhood is about identity and realising you're a man after falsely believing you were a woman before is not the same thing. in hindsight, a lot of trans people, binary or nonbinary, actually do realise that they were their gender/gender identity all along. the gendef binary is also not the sams as gender oppositionism (the idea that men and women are exact opposites from one another), as many people who defy that logic comfortably fit into a binary gender. the term exorsexism was coined to refer to an identity-based oppression because that's simply how the gender binary works. there are some people who may be - as much as i hate this term - "collateral damage" of systemic exorsexism (such as binary people using they/them pronouns). but they don't experience exorsexism the way nonbinary people do. nonbinary people are the core target of exorsexism, and the only people who are systemically affected by it. it is quite literally impossible for exorsexism to be about anything else than identity, because in s society that barely recognises nonbinary people, let alone as any sort of comprehensive group, it's basically impossible to exist and be mistaken for nonbinary.

transmisogyny and antitransmasculinity however very much are based on how society sees us. claiming manhood/womanhood or masculinity/femininity when it's "not ours" or being seen as doing so or being seen as "moving away from womanhood/manhood" and many more arr all things that lead to people being subjected to antitransmasculinity or transmisogyny. this is why transmisogyny is not exclusive to transfems and antitransmasculinity is not exclusive to transmascs, but rather they are experienced by transfems and transfeminised people (i.e. people who are regularly seen as transfem), and transmascs and transmasculinised people (i.e. people who are regularly seen as transmasc). transmascs can be transfeminised, transfems can be transmasculinised, nonbinary people can be either, intersex people can be both. it really depends on how an individual is perceived by the world which may vary from person to person because bodies are different. especially as trans and intersex people are often perceived to occupy some sort of visual, physical middle ground of gender expression, it's highly subjective whether a cis person perceives us as transmasc or transfem. we may experience antitransmasculinity and transmisogyny both in the same day, looking the exact same but being perceived by different people. this is especially true for non-cis-passing and GNC trans people. and because they're both based on perception, people like (perisex) afab demigirls or (perisex) amab nonbinary guys absolutely need to be included in those discussions as well, because they're still seen as moving away from cis manhood/womanhood, and, due to exorsexist ideas, often assumed to be moving towards the other binary gender. there's some "collateral damage" here too, where some cis perisex people are seen as transmasc or transfem, but never to the extent or as frequently as trans and intersex people.

experience of transmisogyny and antitransmasculinity are also different depending on your identity though. i know that my experience with antitransmasculinity is different from transmascs and trans men as someone who doesn't identify as either, and i know that my experience with transmisogyny is different from transfems and trans women as someone who doesn't identify as either. not just because people who transmasculinise or transfeminise me are misgendering me and erasing me, but also because it just feels different to be mistreated for your actual identity rather than a constant misperception of who and what you are, because at least i have somewhat of a chance to brush certain things off because i don't actually identify as masculine/feminine or male/female.

it's also important to note that neither-transmasc-nor-transfem nonbinary people being subjected to antitransmasculinity, transmisogyny or even both is rooted in exorsexism and the erasure of nonbinary gender identities, because we're always effectively misgendered in being transmasculinised or transfeminised when we're not, because people think if we're "moving away" from our AGAB, we must be moving towards the other binary gender because there are only two options.

now you might be thinking: what about binary trans people who experience both transmisogyny and antitransmasculinity, who are discriminated against for being seen as "in between"?

let me introduce you to misandrogyny, the hatred of androgyny and people perceived as androgynous, regardless of their actual identity. misandrogyny affects all kinds of trans people across the board, as well as many intersex people.

exorsexism functions in similar ways to bimisia: both are based on not fitting a binary, either the gender binary or the gay/straight binary, both are based on supposedly occupying some kind of middle ground between the two that's seen as not real, both nonbinary and mspec people are seen as not trans/gay enough while still experiencing the full blast of transmisia and homomisia, both exorsexism and bimisia are deemed not real and seen as "misdirected transmisia/homomisia", both are mainly identity-based and rarely on other factors, both nonbinary and mspec people face significant erasure and misgendering/mislabelling, both identities are seen as a phase and a stepping stone towards "the real deal" and so much more. and the conversations around exorsexism and bimisia also sort of mirror each other, with mono gays refusing to acknowledge that being mono and not experiencing bimisia is a privilege, and binary trans people refusing to acknowledge that being binary and not experiencing exorsexism is a privilege and both groups complaining about supposedly being lumped in with straight/cis oppressors. both exorsexism and bimisia are erased because people think nonbinary people are only oppressed for not being cis and mspec people are only oppressed for not being straight, when we are specifically oppressed for being nonbinary or mspec on top of being (seen as) gay or trans. both identities are seen as "only queer because they're not cis/straight" while the inherent queerness of not being binary and being attracted to multiple genders is erased and our identities are flattened to conform with binaries as much as possible. both exorsexism and bimisia are identity-based because there's always this idea that if we simply stopped insisting to be nonbinary or mspec, no one would actually mistreat us. we are mistreated because we disrupt binaries and assert an identity outside of it. both nonbinary and mspec identity is seen as inherently more of an ideological choice than being binary trans or mono gay is. binary trans and mono gay identities are seen as inherently more genuine whereas nonbinaryhood and mspecness are seen as people just trying to be "extra".

and i would like to explicitly state that when i talk about privilege here, it's not the same as actually having the power to oppress, i am merely talking about the privilege of not experiencing a certain kind of oppression, and to be taken more seriously etc. binary trans people don't have power to oppress nonbinary people, but they do have the privilege of not experiencing exorsexism, they do have the privilege of cis people being more likely to listen to them, so it's important to acknowledge that privilege so that you can use it responsibly to be an ally to your nonbinary siblings and not do a Buck Angel on us.

#nonbinary #exorsexism #agender #aporagender #bigender #demiboy #demigirl #genderfluid #genderflux #xenogender

[transmascissues]

i hate how when people see us talking about transandrophobia, they immediately think we’re talking about “how transfem oppress us.” but people who talk about transmisogyny aren’t expected to have to clarify that they aren’t talking about transmasc. what is it with all these double standards?

in my experience, a lot of those double standards come from a view of manhood/masculinity as being inherently oppressive paired with a view of womanhood/femininity as incapable of being oppressive

a lot of people in conversations about gendered oppression come from a foundation in what i like to call Baby’s First Feminism, which teaches that women are oppressed and men are the ones doing the oppressing, that all men have oppressive power and all women are incapable of possessing it

and they try to map those overly simplistic ideas onto gendered power dynamics among trans people, resulting in a belief that trans manhood/masculinity is oppressive and trans womanhood/femininity is incapable of being oppressive

so the implication that someone might believe transmascs oppress transfems isn’t seen as some bad thing that you need to avoid at all costs — in fact, to a lot of people, it’s common sense, and they would never make a disclaimer saying they don’t believe that’s true because they honestly do believe it’s true, and why would they lie? and even those who don’t believe it usually see it as an understandable conclusion to come to

at the same time, the implication that someone might believe transfems oppress transmascs is heresy — how could the group associated with womanhood and femininity ever have power over the group associated with manhood and masculinity? it goes against everything they’ve ever been told about gendered power dynamics and oppression!

and they’re not wrong to be upset at the idea that someone might believe that; it’s clearly not true, and spreading the idea that it could be true undeniably does a lot of harm

they have every right to be upset when someone implies that transfems oppress transmascs — the problem is that the vast majority (if not all) of us are not in any way implying that

the only reason they think we are is because they assume that one group of trans people being oppressed means the other must be doing the oppressing, because they’re still working off of that Feminism 101 logic that says one group must be the Absolute Oppressor and the other must be the Absolute Victim, and they don’t see any other way that gendered oppression could play out

(and hell, i can’t even really judge them for that because until relatively recently, i also hadn’t moved past that simplistic logic, and the only reason i did move past it is because my own lived experiences of oppression as a trans man basically forced me to consider other, more nuanced possibilities)

and i think people also just tend to react more strongly to possible implications that transfems oppress transmascs because accusing transfems of being oppressors is a Classic Transphobe Move which most people are very familiar with — and honestly, that strong reaction is absolutely warranted in situations where there actually is evidence that someone might be implying that

but when it comes to transmascs, even the people who don’t believe we oppress transfems still don’t react strongly to others’ implications that we do because it’s not as well known of a Transphobe Tactic (most people are more familiar with us being infantilized or erased than demonized) so it doesn’t register in as many people’s minds as a Bad Thing To Imply, and people are a lot less likely to question if that is what someone believes or expect a disclaimer if they don’t believe it

basically, these double standards exist because for the people perpetuating them, they don’t look like double standards at all — the difference in expectations makes perfect sense based on their worldview

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: one of the biggest reasons people are so reluctant to believe trans men and transmascs face a unique form of gendered oppression is because for many people, accepting that fact would require them to totally rework their entire belief system regarding gender dynamics, and sticking with the more simplistic way of looking things is just...so much easier

#i could say even more but i think this is long enough djsjdf #ask answered #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #trans men #transmascs

[blackbird-brewster]

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - NOW POSTED

It was a complicated situation, which Elle seemed totally uninterested in talking about, and although JJ wanted to be respectful of her boundaries, she'd also found herself surprisingly fascinated about Elle's gender fluidity. It had piqued her interest in ways she couldn't entirely explain. After kissing her, JJ realised she wasn't attracted to Elle in the ways she originally thought, but JJ was attracted to Leo. She couldn't make heads or tails of those feelings, because the fact was, Elle was Leo and he was Elle, so how was it possible for JJ to only be attracted to one without the other?

From JJ's confusing attraction, to her strange dreams, to the sexual fantasies she'd been envisioning recently, to how much she enjoyed Emily giving her a blowjob, JJ wasn't sure what was going on anymore. She assumed all of these things, these new feelings and turn-ons, were connected to each other, the question was -- how?

These feelings, which she'd been having since first realising who Leo was, were becoming more and more daunting. She'd never thought about her own gender at any great length, she never had a reason to previously. JJ knew she was a woman and she loved her body. She'd never felt dysphoric about it and she definitely never felt like she was a man, in the ways that Luke was man. She also didn't feel detached from her 'womanhood' in the same ways Penelope did. Back when Penelope first came out as nonbinary, the pair of them had plenty of in-depth discussions about gender, but to JJ's understanding, even Penelope's nonbinary identity was more of  static thing, unchanging and clearly defined. 

JJ couldn't relate to Luke's transness, nor Penelope's, but the way Elle described of her own experience made something deep down in JJ's subconscious flutter closer to the surface. Elle used the word 'fluid' when she explained how some days, she felt like a woman, other days like a man, but she'd also said, a lot of time, she felt detached from her gender completely.

JJ had never thought about gender as being something fluid, something that changed from day to day for some people, but the more time she spent trying to comprehend the concept, the more it terrified her. A lot of what Elle said seemed almost familiar to JJ in some ways, it had her reframing some of her own experiences, looking at her past through a new lens. The whole ordeal suddenly had JJ questioning whether she wanted to be with Leo -- or if she simply wanted to be Leo.

[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]

----------------------------------------

Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.

Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]

Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST

#criminal minds #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #tara lewis #temily #jemily #jara #je t'emily #cm fanfiction #my writing #faafil3 #fic update #queemrinal minds #ao3

[detransraichu]

okay so. controversial statement, once again lol. and this applies more easily to binary trans ppl than nonbinary ppl, or trans ppl who want to transition and pass as the opposite sex.

(if you disagree with me saying opposite sex, implying there's only two, why do we only say afab and amab? why does it matter in discussions? why do we say male dog and female cat and don't mention intersex (DSD) animals? amab ppl are of the sex that can produce smaller spermatozoa gametes, and afab ppl are of the sex that can produce larger gametes (ova), whether or not they're fertile. and people with DSDs are variety of one of those, there are no third options. lmk if you can disprove that. but imo that's why there's two sexes, and why those sexes matter in social justice discussions.)

i think if trans folks had just said, like old school transsexuals used to say, "i want to become part of the opposite sex socially, i want to live being perceived and/or treated as the opposite sex" a HUGE amount of trans vs non-trans issues would be gone. transness once used a language that wasn't telling bio men and bio women that manhood/womanhood means having manly or womanly feelings in one's head, identifying as a man/woman - when actually most people have historically ALWAYS used man/woman as just neutral body types (well, neutral without misogyny lol) one is born into, not an identity - and it said what trans people actually want and request from bio men & women. it says that you have been debilitated by an unusual condition that creates a disconnect from your sex at birth, and that after lots of therapy and self-introspection you and your doctors saw it just wasn't going away. instead of being combative you politely ask to be accomodated to a reasonable degree, and to be allowed to transition to look like the opposite sex and be treated as such, whether other people understand it or not, without assuming what the opposite sex goes thru bc you haven't experienced it at all, at least not yet. it was disability accomodations in a way, more similar to disability activism than gay & bi activism, and was seen as a disconnect in the brain, something being wrong, not a neutral trait like someone simply being born capable of homosexual attraction

this phrasing of "wanting to live as the opposite sex" would recognize that you're not a man/woman from birth and you don't live as a man/woman right now, you have no clue what it's actually like, bc you don't live that way. and you recognize that's literally all being a man/woman means and has always meant, it's that you live in a certain body type and are seen like that in your everyday life without needing to wear pronoun pins or disclosing it. you are part of the population that either risks misogyny or avoids it. and not just conditionally avoids misogyny btw, bc afab ppl are still oppressed under misogyny for their upbringing and their body type medically, no matter how many surgeries they get. and imo transfems experience terrible yet conditional misogyny which ends if they're outed, at that point they're treated as gnc men again, no matter how transitioned they are (which also fucking sucks). they also need to listen to bio women!! and transmascs! and afab people should listen to transfemmes' unique experiences too! everybody needs to listen to eachother and give eachother space to have a voice!

i think some people may identify as a man/woman but not plan to ever live as such, and they should acknowledge it, see it as just a personal life thing if they're not questioning transitioning to be seen as the opposite sex. they shouldn't claim bio male or bio female or transsexual experiences. they shouldn't blame average bio men and women for not being trans and for society not being trans-centric by default. they're blaming others instead of coming to terms with their unique and difficult circumstances and trying to communicate their experiences and needs with cis society respectfully. y'know, like older transsexuals tended to focus on, instead of trying to fundamentally change language and affect women's rights. older transsexual generations tended to show so much more care to bio/cis women, they tended to be wayyy more protective of bio women. and trans women knew that they were immigrating into womanhood, and shouldn't claim to be born into it or affect women's rights in any negative way. they knew they had been privileged of not living under misogyny up until this point. bio women didn't understand transfem life, and transfemmes didn't understand bio women's lives at all, at least until transitioning, usually later in life. older transfemmes and male crossdressers had such a radically different dynamic with bio women even just 20 years ago. it's sad, honestly.

i think trans ppl who have no plans of ever transitioning are closer to living gnc lives than trans(sexual) lives. i think they have radically different experiences and needs than transsexuals. transgender & transsexual maybe should become two different categories? they used to be iirc. and cis feminists have different issues with each side, but usually wayyy more with transgender folks bc they tend to unfortunately be loud and inappropriately try to claim bio women's, transmascs' and transitioned transfems' experiences with ACTUALLY facing misogyny or the oppression and violence that gnc amab people who are actually seen as such in society face. not just gncphobia (is that a term?) and ppl being weirded out and confused by them. non-dysphoric transmascs also at times show weird misogyny, bc of their disconnect from womanhood, and an obsession with men's rights, and sexism. after transition trans men experience a sudden lack in misogyny and actually get more respectful from what i've seen??? but non-dysphoric transmascs can be so disrespectful of women in general, cis and trans. and act like they know transsexual experiences

i'd be really interested in reading more about transmeds' views on things like this and the disrespect, sexism, misogyny and just unhinged chronically online behavior non-dysphoric trans ppl often seem to show, especially nonbinary folks. i'm a trans-inclusive radfem with a research-gathering blog that has not-so-respectfully worded posts reblogged (they tend to still make some good points and i like hoarding interesting points for my dumb wip tirf book) and that understandably gets ppl heated, so np if no transmeds or trans folks in general want to share. but i just really wish we got to see more nuanced opinions from trans folks. usually ppl w nuanced views just get harassed off the platform in classic tumblr fashion :/

#lay text #transmed #radfem #radblr #kicking the hornets nest once more sorry lol #idm getting angry asks though. i just like interacting w varied kinds of people and hearing their pov even if we disagree on certain things #an overwhelming amt of time i end up finding common ground if the person is genuinely looking for a conversation not a fight #and i really appreciate that <3

[coochiequeens]

Of course in pandering to the TQ+ cult the article dismisses sny risk to the fetus frpm developing in a woman who took cross sex hormones beforecgetting pregnant and makes no mention of the impact on the kids she already has and how being raised by a woman so eager to not be a woman or a mother.

If you have the “working parts” to achieve your goals, you might as well use them! At least, this is something that one pregnant father is preaching after he was flooded with questions about why he chose to carry his child while undergoing his gender transformation. 

The pregnant dad chose to answer these questions in an educational TikTok video where he explains how the experience saves him money and that it does not cause him to suffer from constant gender dysphoria. 

The pregnant father chose to be a surrogate for himself.

Maxwell (@ledpaintsoup) is already a father of two and carried his children himself. His third pregnancy is no exception, and in a video that has been viewed over 380,000 times, he is shutting down those who are rudely assuming that he cannot carry a pregnancy since he is a man. 

Maxwell shares that he has received his fair share of questions from other TikTok users regarding his gender and pregnancy. Many people ask why he is choosing to be pregnant himself instead of turning to surrogacy since many people associate pregnancy and childbirth with womanhood.

According to Maxwell, not only is being pregnant cost-effective in his case but he also does not view his pregnancy as a process that is exclusive to women. 

“I would first of all like to say, that it [pregnancy] is free for me,” he says. “I feel like I’m doing surrogacy for myself. If I have the parts… I’m gonna get my well-use out of them.” Maxwell also plans on breastfeeding his baby since he is still able to produce milk. 

The dad also does not view pregnancy as an exclusively feminine process. 

Secondly, he shares that pregnancy is not a “womanly” experience for him. “Do I feel connected to women who share their pregnancies [online]? Yes, but I also feel connected to other trans men who share their pregnancies and non-binary people who share their pregnancies,” Maxwell says. 

“Pregnancy in itself is not a feminine, woman thing for me.” 

Maxwell adds that taking testosterone has not affected his fertility, although he does not take it while he is pregnant. 

He also recognizes that his own experience and feelings toward pregnancy do not take away from those of mothers who go through pregnancy. 

“For them, that is a woman thing,” Maxwell says. “For me, it’s not… I’m not a woman and when I’m pregnant, I’m still not a woman.” 

In another video, Maxwell says that he came out as transgender when he was 14 years old, and when he became pregnant with his first child at 18, he admitted to having feelings of gender dysphoria throughout the pregnancy. However, his feelings changed after he became pregnant with his second child. 

By the time I had my second, I realized that I was more of a ‘they/he’ than a ‘he/him’... it made me come to terms with myself and my body,” he shares. 

While Maxwell claims that he still has moments of dysphoria during this pregnancy, they are few and far between. 

He also reveals that his transition does not affect his relationship with his husband, whom he met after he began his transition. The two lost touch for a few years, during which Maxwell met his ex-partner and had his first two children with. After reconnecting, they got married and Maxwell is currently pregnant with their first child together. 

Like Maxwell, there are people who do not identify as a woman who have also successfully gotten pregnant and have given birth.

Most of them are born with a uterus and identify as transgender male, gender fluid, genderqueer, Two-Spirit people, etc. 

The exact number of transgender people who have carried pregnancy is unknown, however, a 2019 news release from Rutgers University claimed that their research suggests that up to 30% of transgender men have had unplanned pregnancies. 

Contrary to the popular myth, taking testosterone does not make one unable to conceive, nor has it been proven to have detrimental effects on an unborn baby’s health. 

Trystan Reese, who transitioned in his early 20s was told by his endocrinologist that he would become infertile after taking testosterone and would never be able to carry a child. In his early 30s, Reese carried and gave birth to a healthy baby. 

“I am not a fluke,” Reese wrote for Family Equity. “Hundreds and maybe thousands of transgender men all over the world have successfully given birth or otherwise contributed their eggs to a pregnancy.”

Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships. 

#Those working parts are all part of the female reproductive system #He least she didn't turn to exploiting other women through surrogacy #But the first reason given was saving money #In other words up 30% of women in the TQ+ community have unexplained pregnancies #The TQ+ cult needs better education about their reproductive systems while transitioning #They claim Testosterone doesn't impact the health of the fetus #Yet I once posted a story about a father accidentally exposed his son to Testosterone gel just by not washing his hands after applying gel #The kid toddler was so much bigger than the other kids his age other parents asked about it

[howcurioustobehere]

Devil Trigger is trans af

well, ok, to start, we have a masc appearing person with two voices explaining their thoughts. the first voice, masculine, is expressing a need but inability to control urges within themselves. and yes, that voice as well as the whole song, expresses these urges in terms of "darkness," "demon," "losing control," and "wickedness." but queer people intentionally assuming the role of monster that people place upon them isn't new. the second voice, the freer, more confident, and the main voice for the rest of track, is feminine. i have no doubts that this song was NOT written with trans people in mind. it isn't that the lyrics are about transness, but rather that they can be analogous to a trans experience. "darkness of night falls around my soul," "hunter within," "rage that's inside me," "born in the abyss," "all these thoughts running through my head," "darkness that's within me," "hiding in the shadows," "storm welling inside me." now, yes, the song uses terms of rage and anger. that's not really my experience in life or in my transition. but thoughts and storms and darkness and urges that just will not ever go away? that... kinda was, a bit, yeah. i was never settled or happy as an egg. i could never find peace. and i'm sure there are some trans people who *do* experience their dysphoria as something like rage, instead of malaise. "loses control," "has ahold of me," "trying to break free," "gotta let it out," "i can't seem to control," "i just can't resist," "frustration is getting bigger," "no hiding in the shadows anymore," "i refuse to hold back anymore." those same thoughts and urges, the need to acknowledge and confront them just does not go away. they will keep coming back, getting stronger, and eventually overwhelm a trans person. you just cannot keep faking being cis. it crumbles away, and you have to step out of that darkness and break free into your proper life. "i'll endure the exile," "branded by fire," "bang bang bang pull my devil trigger," "embrace the darkness," "no hiding." transition sucks. it is painful. it's the mood swings and body uncertainty of a second puberty combined with, typically, a fucking ton of rejection. by family, by former friends, by coworkers and management, by society at mass. but you *fucking do it anyway,* and you scream at the top of your lungs that something is finally right in the world. the first time there's gender euphoria, it's like realizing that you've been wearing your skin on backwards your whole life and now it finally *fits.* "this wickedness consumes me," "i'm a wildfire you won't tame," "can't put out my flame," "no way to contain," "a bomb you can't defuse." they try. they're trying right now so fucking hard. but we aren't going back. we won't detransition, we won't slink back into closets. this first pride was a riot, started by trans women of color, and the brick in my hand holds the same existential rebellion. "when the night ends, it's not over. we fight through to get closer. like a silver bullet piercing through, i throw myself into you." transition, living your new life, this is not a one-and-done thing. it's every day. my womanhood doesn't come off like a drag costume. it's all day, every day, and i'm struggling to make my existence in the world. i am becoming Seraphina with everything i am. some friends joke that i'm trying to speedrun transition. i'm just throwing myself into her. into me. now again. the developers and song writers and performers didn't make this a trans song. it wasn't ever meant *to be* a trans song. but the context Nero's thoughts, while Nero appears to be masc, are expressed by a woman? the lyrics describe in metaphor and analogy an experience similar to that of trans people. so it *can be* a trans song. genetics and family and society didn't mean for me *to be* a woman. but my life and my heart and my experiences tell me that i *can be* a woman.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Being a Transgender Nerd

Originally posted December 28th, 2015

Unpacking the male dominated culture of nerds from a trans woman’s perspective.

I have been a nerd all of my life.

That’s a statement I can’t see anyone objecting to. If you’ve met me, then it’s pretty obvious how nerdy I am; I’m arguably the biggest fan of Star Wars among anyone I know, I’ve spent a significant portion of my life obsessing over videogames (my favorites being Zelda and Metal Gear Solid), and I run a blog devoted to critically analyzing the abridged version of a popular anime. To put it simply, I have more nerd cred than I know what to do with, and I’ve loved investing myself in nerddom since I was a little kid.

I have also been a woman all of my life.

That statement, unlike the first, carries a small amount of potential controversy with it, given that I am a transgender woman (it’s thankfully much less dangerous a statement than it used to be, as our culture has becoming more understanding and accepting of trans people).

And to the benefit of those who would argue against my womanhood, I have not known all of my life that I was, in fact, a woman. This experience of growing up not knowing my true gender and assuming that I was a man has left me with a unique experience, and as a result, I have gained a deeper understanding of the way one’s gender affects their experience within nerd culture.

The hold that straight white men have upon the role of the protagonist is one of the things I noticed earliest. This however, did not help me understand my gender identity; it reinforced the idea that women were inferior, even though that idea wasn’t something I ever directly vocalized.

Of course, I still found myself drawn to the few female characters there were, and Asajj Ventress, a minor character from the Star Wars expanded universe, particularly caught my attention, as I could feel a lot of empathy for a woman whose troubled past had led her to embrace the Dark Side of the Force.

I quickly found myself rather obsessed with her, and I poured over every bit of media containing her that I could get my hands on, even when her lack of significance outside of the Clone Wars animated miniseries meant that most of that obsession was spent rereading her entry on the Star Wars “Databank*.”

Looking back, I see that that obsession rose not only out of a love for Ventress’ character, but out of a dire need to see women I could relate to in the media that I loved. Now, given the complex environment that I grew up in, it is unlikely that the inclusion of more women in Star Wars would have helped me understand my gender identity earlier (though honestly, who’s to say what could’ve helped), but I can safely say that the inclusion of more women would have helped me feel even more like the Star Wars universe belonged to me.

And while I don’t spend as much time obsessing over Asajj Ventress as I used to, thanks to “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” she and the Star Wars universe have grown up about as much I have; where she used to be shown only as a tool of the men who would use her, she’s grown into a woman who abandons these men to live her own life, and is attempting to live a good life despite it the hold the Dark Side still has upon her. That version of Ventress, as it happens, is just the type of role model I needed back when I was a youngling.

*Back in the early 2000s, the official Star Wars website had a database of professionally written articles summarizing the history of each character and object present in the Star Wars universe. It was unfortunately discontinued a while back, but its spirit lives on through Wookieepedia.

#nerd culture #not sure how else to tag #oof #this piece is fine #the oof is not at the piece #the oof is for ventress being shown as her own woman #and not as a tool of the men around her #because since i wrote this #i have read star wars dark disciple #and fuck you katie lucas #quinlan vos should have given his life for ventress #she deserved someone in her life finally doing that for her #also i don't think this piece actually gets much into my experience as a trans nerd #it touches on what reached that repressed trans side of me #but i had a lot of horrifying experiences growing up as a 'boy' #and saw a lot of misogyny from nerds around me #who were often the only friends i really had

[the-feminist-philosopher]

Agreed about Serano; haven't read her work but I agree with the quotes of hers that I've seen (though I've also heard criticism of her from within the queer community, particularly from trans men, and I'd have to read her myself to see). On the topic of autogynephilia, I have heard radfems acknowledge that some cis women get turned on by their own sex appeal, but that tends to get interpreted as self-objectification based in internalized misogyny. So those cis women tend to get pity from radfems, instead of the hostility that trans women get.

The double standard is wild, innit?

Autogynephilia- which is a very flawed theory- is considered self-objectification among cis women but... not among trans women? The fact that they assume wanting to be feminine is just a fetish or sexual perversion says all you need to know about how they view femininity. They see femininity as inherently inferior rather than something they've been taught as 1.) being inherently feminine (nothing is inherently "feminine," only socially regarded as so), and 2.) being inherently a lesser form of self-expression (there's no "lesser" form of presentation as there's no issue with elaborate or beautiful presentation because the issue is the way we make it a requirement of one single sex for the [supposed] desires of the other sex).

Then the fact they also treat wanting to be a woman as a sexual perversion tells you that they view "woman" as a sexual object because they are tying any desire to be a woman to a woman's sexualization and fetishization. Wanting to be your lived identity is not a fetish, but they assume that the only reason someone would want to be a woman is because the only value people have for women is as an object for men's desire.

It's a very unfortunate way to look at femininity and womanhood, in my opinion.

Trans women don't get turned on by being a woman because they don't only value women for the desire they provide men. Is there a problem in society of women being reduced to mere sexual objects? Yes. Is that the fault of trans women? No.

But what really gets me about the anti-trans activist's analysis is that they will say that "woman" is defined by men/society as a sexual object; that her value is placed in the sexual desire her body can provide men. And they and I would agree with that. We'd disagree with the idea that this is why trans women transition, but we'd agree that a woman's value (and, for me, this includes a trans woman's value) is placed in the desire and attention her body can provide for men.

I'm thinking about such analyses as the following:

“Woman is not born: she is made. In the making, her humanity is destroyed. She becomes symbol of this, symbol of that: mother of the earth, slut of the universe; but she never becomes herself because it is forbidden for her to do so.” ― Andrea Dworkin

"Women and men are divided by gender, made into the sexes as we know them, by the social requirements of heterosexuality, which institutionalizes male sexual dominance and female sexual submission." ― Catharine MacKinnon

“The normal fuck by a normal man is taken to be an act of invasion and ownership undertaken in a mode of predation. Woman have been chattels to man as wives, as prostitutes, as sexual and reproductive servants. Being owned and being fucked are or have been virtually synonymous experiences in the lives of woman. He owns you - he fucks you. The fucking conveys the quality of ownership - he owns you inside out.” ― Andrea Dworkin

“Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.' (Leviticus 18:22). That means simply that it is foul to do to other men what men habitually, proudly, manfully do to women: use them as inanimate, empty, concave things; fuck them into submission; subordinate them through sex.” ― Andrea Dworkin

I can recognize that the patriarchy socializes cis men- *the* primary group with consistent and reliable access to the patriarchal power structure- to sexually subordinate and dominate women. And the anti-trans activists like to try and take this route when arguing against allowing trans women to live in their identity. They try to argue that trans women see cis women as an object to conquer, and that they do this by being women and "stealing" the cis woman's identity and spirit. They see it as a "violation" of the cis body. And they firmly believe that trans women do this because they see women as a sexual object; one which "becoming" turns them on. It's, well, incredibly transphobic.

But, in order to do this, they would need to admit that "woman" is something socially created, right? That's what Dworkin and MacKinnon were arguing: that woman is a socially-made category and that this category is socially constructed to be a sex object; to be something to be fucked by the patriarchy and the paterfamilias. And these feminists also saw that trans women are also seen within this patriarchal dichotomy of the fucked and fuckers with how fetishized and coveted trans bodies are.

However, the anti-trans activist is adamantly opposed to the idea that "woman" is a social category, insisting, instead, that "woman" is defined by a single, fixed biological attribute; that "woman" is biological; an "adult, human female." They're opposed to the social definition of "woman" and "female" because they think that defining "woman" as a discrete sexed caste will keep trans women out of the Sacred Land of the Woman. They're adamant that "woman" is a discrete sex; that the sexes are polar opposites; that the sexes are "naturally" differentiated.

(Sex differentiation *is* a feature of the patriarchy that posits that “men are men” and “women are women” and the two ought be and fundamentally are separate from each other. It is responsible for the social prescription that each group must stay within certain bounds of public and private life as well as certain bounds of behavior and certain bounds of presentation. Male dominant society must see to it that "female" is a woman and "clearly" a woman, opposite that of "man." This is also known as the polarity of sex.)

So, when it's politically convenient, they'll argue that the patriarchy creates (socializes) women to be sex objects; to be fetishes; to be fucked. And when that's no longer convenient for their argument, they'll argue that women and men are discrete; that there are separate biological classifications for humans; that there is one self-evident sex (to be fucked) as well as a polar opposite sex (to fuck).

“Male dominant society has defined women as a discrete biological group forever. If this was going to produce liberation, we’d be free.”― Catharine MacKinnon

“…while the system of gender polarity is real, it is not true. It is not true that there are two sexes which are discrete and opposite, which are polar, which unite naturally and self-evidently into a harmonious whole.” ― Andrea Dworkin, “The Root Cause” in Our Blood (1976)

"The ideology of sexual difference functions as censorship in our culture by masking, on the ground of nature, the social opposition between men and women. Masculine/feminine, male/female are the categories which serve to conceal the fact that social differences always belong to an economic, political, ideological order. Every system of domination establishes divisions at the material and economic level... It is oppression that creates sex and not the contrary. The contrary would be to say that sex creates oppression, or to say that the cause (origin) of oppression is to be found in sex itself, in a natural division of the sexes preexisting (or outside of) society." ― Monique Wittig, French author, philosopher, and feminist theorist who wrote about abolition of the sex-class system

But I always wonder... if our sex is self-evident and if our separation is self-evident and if this separation and differentiation and conscious recognition of there being two sexed classes is as old as our species, then how does one fight against patriarchal institutions which base their legitimacy in the "naturalness" of our divisions and justify oppression with "biolog-ics"?

#this got long #sorry #txt #feminism

[oc-place]

For the OC questions; 3, 15, 22, and 37 for Dawn <3

Fifty OC Questions

Ok I'm putting this under a read more because I rambled way too much oops.

How does your OC feel about their birthday?

So I went with the 28th of December for her birthday, thanks to your help! Honestly, probably more positively now than when she was young? With it being in-between Christmas and the New Year, she never really expects much attention anyway. It always felt more like a obligation from her parents when she was younger, so she appreciated whatever she could get.

It was when she reached her teens, that she noticed how the people around her spoke to and about her differently than they used to before. All the talk of womanhood and expectations got worse with each year, and made her dread her birthday. Back then, the main person who was able to make her feel positively about her birthday was Gator, even if it meant they sometimes had to sneak away to celebrate.

It's only after she leaves, and lives with a more supportive family, that they start to encourage her to celebrate her birthday properly, even if she still doesn't expect much attention.

What item does your OC hold most dear?

Well there's the St Jude necklace she's had since she was thirteen (that has likely had to have the chain replaced a couple of times by now). I also think there's a good chance that back when they were dating, Gator got her a necklace with a bird on it that she used to wear all the time too. I think she would have taken that with her when she moved away too, trying to hold onto a scrap of hope, but I think after a couple of years, it probably ends up hidden at the bottom of a jewellery box. (Although it absolutely finds its way back to regular rotation after everything at the ranch) I don't think she was able to take too much with her when she left, so she had to prioritise necessities more when it came to packing, but I know there was more I was thinking of before that I frustratingly can't remember now. I think I'll be coming back to this answer and adding more when I can.

If your OC ever got the chance, would they go back in time? When would they go?

I had a feeling you would ask this one, and honestly it's a complex answer? A sort of yes and no? I assume we're talking about in their own life, and I think for a long time the answer would have been yes, and perhaps unsurprisingly she would have wanted to go back to the last time she spoke (or rather, argued) with Gator, the week before she left. She would always wonder if there had been something she could have said or done to make him come with her instead, so that's why she would have wanted to go back, to try anything to convince him.

Though when she got older (and obviously goes through therapy etc), those stronger feelings would fade, and she would think it was for the best that she left for her own wellbeing and that she didn't really have a choice? And honestly, even after everything that went down after they met again, she wouldn't be fully sure of her answer but she would lean towards no, because she feels that now due to her own experiences and her job etc, that she can help him more now? But obviously she'd still wish he didn't have to go through all that.

So I guess it depends how old Dawn is when the question is posed to her :P (If we're talking more general time travel, I don't think she would want to go back in time. If anything, she would want to see the future, in the hope that life would be better for people.)

What part of yourself do you love in your OC?

This is the toughest question I think! I guess the first thing that comes to mind is the idea of wanting to help others where I can? (And how that comes through with both of my OCs, just in different ways) The other would probably be that for obvious reasons, I'm not much of a physical person, so I have to use my words wisely too, especially in regards to fighting back or conflict resolution and all that I guess. So that's why it just felt right to go down that route for Dawn too?

#jennathearcher #these ended up being longer than I initially planned oops sorry about that! #and sorry it took so long! most of them I had an idea with but every time I'd try to do it something else had to take priority pfft #I hope these make sense though #about dawn

[rosiewitchescottage]

Dr. Abigail Favale: The Genesis of Gender

You may share the Judith Butler, Simone de Beauvoir and Dr John Money view of womanhood and manhood as social constructs, maybe with even the categories of male and female being made up, just oppressive tools of the ‘powerful’.

And that’s your business. I’m not interested in telling you what you have to believe.

 Even if I can show proven facts. Because those facts will be facts, whether they’re believed or not.

But just as I can’t tell another person what to believe, then that other person can’t tell me what I must believe either.

And I believe firmly in both the spirituality of the male and female sex binary. And also in the science that has proven it, time and again.

Human is WHAT we all are. It’s the ultimate equality.

And we come in two kinds male and female. Also WHAT we are.

(Of course with race, nationality, culture, language, religion, sexual orientation etc. We have a limitless variety. Because tribal and communal creatures as we are, each individual human is unique.)

We can cause things to happen when we use language, for goo or ill. 

But when we name things, it’s in acknowledgement of something already in existence, or something that has just been made and needs to be given a name.

A chair may be something to sit on. But not everything that can be sat upon is a chair. 

I can’t put into words what specifically makes a chair a chair. But I don’t have to. If I sit in a chair, I know that it’s a chair and not a stool, a bench, a sofa or any other flat surface that I can sit on. And as long as we speak the same language. I can tell you that it’s a chair, and you’ll understand, because this language is universally agreed upon.

The word ‘chair’ was coined to name a very specific object that can be sat upon. And we all know it, because we experience the object that is specifically named a chair. We know the difference between it, a stool, a bench, a sofa etc. And there are different kinds of chair as well.

Language therefore saw the male human and female human and sought to differentiate between the sexes with names for both. (I’m using the English terms, of course.)

A female child was labelled ‘girl’ a male child was labelled ‘boy’. A female adult was labelled ‘woman’ a male adult was labelled ‘man’.

This doesn’t have to mean that trans people don’t exist, of course not. But it roots things in proven, concrete reality and not in a subjective and confusing ‘theory’.

If one is male and needs to live as a woman, then we know what a woman is. A woman is female.

The male is a trans woman, one sex living as the other. She must do her best to look and sound as female as possible, in order to be accepted as living as a woman.

Or, because she’s male, she’ll be seen as a man. Not simply because people are mean. But because she is an adult male, and the word for an adult male human is ‘man’.

And the same with a female living as a man.  A trans man is female. He needs to look and sound as male as he can, or else people will assume that he’s a woman. The word we use for an adult female human.

A trans man, unless he has his uterus and ovaries removed, may still menstruate and get get pregnant.

Not because he is a man. But because of the femaleness that is his unchangeable biological reality.

A trans woman is is male cannot menstruate, she cannot get pregnant or give birth. Her biological reality is male. And her body does not have the innate potential to do such things.

You may see yourself, and your friends may see you, as neither man/woman or boy/girl. And that’s your business and theirs.

But this cannot be forced onto other people, in any way that won’t cause more problems than it solves.

Because we don’t have a third category. We do have ‘androgyny’ however. And that’s a very old and well accepted concept.

In the past. A woman was expected to be feminine and a man masculine. Society was far from understanding to those who dared to be different.

Today, in The West however, we have a freedom that our ancestors would be amazed by.

You want to be a feminine man? No problem. You want to be a masculine woman? No problem.

There’ll always be people who’ll have comments to make. But these days, the pressure is not nearly as binding. And in actual fact, few people truly care about any of this.

You don’t even have to be masculine or feminine. You can go all out and tread the middle ground of androgyny. Like many have done before you.

Does this make you neither man or woman? No! Because you have the biological reality of being male (man) or female (woman).

You are just refusing to express that biological reality in any way that people will recognise. And that’s completely fine. Go right ahead, get expressing!

Look back at Goths of Punks in the 1970s, 80′s and 90′s. Androgyny was HUGE and they were incredibly creative with it.

I knew plenty of them. And not one expected to be seen as neither man or woman. They simply showed it to the world in their own ways.

#multiple reblog

[bingkitch]

Thinking about the frustration of having to articulate myself as a decidedly not binary person forced to navigate the expectations of being a binary trans woman by medical and social systems that have decided on a specific model of narrowly and conditionally “acceptable” transition so tenuous that there’s no room to challenge it without also undermining the few gains we’ve managed to get.

HRT makes me feel like a real person with a future and a self that I can develop and grow as; it’s what made it possible for me to understand myself as flawed, as worthwhile, as alive, as mortal. To me it doesn’t mean I have a “female brain,” but I had to tap dance to a “female brain” script to be seen as worthy of medication. And I want to scream about liberating HRT, how the female brain model was pushed on us by cis doctors who categorized us by our sexual proclivities, but I am also aware of how fragile the right to any informed consent is, how tough that is.

And like. Binary trans people aren’t the problem; they’re binary and have a right to exist and articulate their experience. There are those who push the “two genders” talking point but they’re decidedly in the minority. I’m just tired of the way that the development of the social-medical liberal consensus talking point has us in this constrained system where we’re lumped into the One Trans Experience, and me speaking about my own experiences risks Undermining The Narrative.

Anyway, I’ve:

Described my gender as a 360-noscope back to masculinity, but through identification *with* (not as) womanhood,

Taken a decidedly feminine name and hairstyle

Taken a decidedly masculine fashion style

Realized I don’t think there’s such a thing as a straight relationship I could be in

Used the men’s room regularly

Been in the “women’s” club at work

Had to ask “what research purposes are they getting at” on gender questions in surveys - and answered in multiple ways while staying consistent in my self-identification

Given up on navel-gazing about my gender. If we lived in the gender utopia, I’d be done thinking about it. I’d take HRT, be bisexual, piss in a coed bathroom, and would just fucking vibe. But I’m so tired of having to navigate in situations where it’s assumed that I’m saying more about gender than I am.

#I need to rant on why the distinction in identifying with vs identifying as is so important to me #but it’s a big deal and I might ramble on it if anybody on the hellsite is interested #and literally none of this is intended to say anything about any other trans persons vibe #I’m literally just mad that there’s this sort of consensus among mainstream trans accepting circles of cis people #which assumes there’s like one reason and one way for people to be trans and it’s wild to me #this post was oddly motivated by euphoria #saw another post by someone talking about doing a gender 360 and experiencing solidarity with mtf folks and it was like hey yes cool yes

[guyonrye]

How much of someone is made up from their trauma? How much of a man is derivative of that which he has experienced, and how much is predisposed to be a part of his person when he forms in the womb? It can be a challenge to differentiate between your nature and nurture; regardless of which makes more of an impact, it is irrefutable that both are important in dissecting one’s identity. I’m not sure how much of my identity is made up of the trauma I’ve gone through, how much is inherent to who I am, and how much is still just underlying insecurity piloting my actions. Regardless, all of these things make up who I am in this moment.

It’s been a long journey for me to figure out many different aspects of my identity. I’m pretty sure I’ve gone through nearly every letter in the LGBTQA+ community. I was a lesbian for a while, then a demiboy, then just a trans man, then a bisexual trans man, then a gay trans man… and I’ve finally settled into the most fitting identity for myself, though I recognise as I develop more, that identity is subject to change. As it stands, I identify as an agender guy, who is both asexual and aromantic. Now these may all seem confusing, especially if you know me personally, but I have my reasonings for identifying like this. To me, it makes perfect sense, though it takes a little bit of explaining.

I’ll start with describing why I am an agender guy, as I’m sure those two terms together are the most confusing. As an autistic person, I don’t quite grasp the concept of gender; at least, not in any meaningful way. I have this irrefutable internal sense that I am a man, and have since I could formulate thoughts. At the same time, I’ve never been able to grasp the delineation between “man” and “woman”. Ever since I was young I would draw extremely effeminate men and genuinely not understand how people assumed they were girls. I also couldn’t understand why I was being seen as a girl when I so clearly could tell I wasn’t one, but at the same time, I understood it was “bad” of me to feel that way, so I did my best to ignore it. I would pray to god to fix me, to let me wake up in the correct body, and not to play this joke on me. Obviously it didn’t work, but it did serve to worsen my inability to understand the concept of gender. The terms “manhood” and “womanhood” seem to mean so much to the majority, but I don’t have any feelings towards them. To me, I just know I’m a man, and nothing else is attached to that concept. No feeling of manhood, no feelings of womanhood, nothing. Where others seem to hold a sense of pride in their gender, I feel nothing; just a sense of being a man and nothing else. I don’t grasp the idea of gender, or gender roles, and so I know I’m different from most men in that sense. Even other trans men have a sense of manhood; does that mean I’m not trans, though? No. It simply means I experience gender in a vastly different way, largely due to the fact that I’m autistic. It’s something many autistics report experiencing, it’s just at an elevated level for me. So, I am a guy, but speaking in a larger sense, I’m also agender, as I have no connection to manhood and no understanding of gender roles or gender expression in any meaningful way.

In a joking way, it’s why I describe my gender as “none gender with left boy” in reference to the none pizza meme.

When regarding my sexuality, things get… potentially even more complicated. Many people believe sexuality is black and white; much like gender, however, it is anything but. I’m not sure how much of my sexuality is impacted by my trauma, though I believe it has had at least somewhat of an influence on it. One thing I know for sure is that I am not sex repulsed, and actually quite like sex. I think male bodies are very sexy, with their slightly curved chests and big shoulders, with facial hair and swinging balls… I love it. However, the second it goes from being just a random masculine body to being a person, I stop feeling that attraction. Some people may argue then that I’m just gay with high standards, but it goes a lot farther than that. The mere idea that it is a person and not just an attractive body turns me off for some reason. Only one person has ever been the exception to that, and I have my own theories as to why they are, but regardless, I don’t feel comfortable identifying as just plain gay. The hyper-specific label would be grayasexual, but frankly, I don’t think I want to place that identity on myself since there’s only ever been one exception in my life, and they’re comfortable with me identifying as asexual. I find them very attractive, and am very attracted to who they are as a person as well, but even if another person seems to be perfectly my type, I just can’t find it in myself to desire sex with them even in a fantasy scenario. It goes beyond just not wanting to have sex with random strangers, it’s an active repulsion and discomfort at the thought. So, asexual, agender guy.

There’s one more piece to the puzzle, though. My romantic attraction is incredibly similar to my sexual attraction. I can have fantasies about wanting to be with someone, and I can understand what I’d like from a partner, but any ‘crushes’ I’ve had have been nothing more than friendships with more intimacy. I don’t feel romantic attraction the way most people do, both because of the severe abuse I’ve experienced and my autism. Only one person has ever really made me feel romantically attracted to them, and that would be my current partner. With them I feel a deep, profound love that I’ve never felt for another person. It still doesn’t quite seem to be the same way that others experience romance, but for me, it is. I’ve never felt this sort of feeling for anyone else, I’ve never felt this safe with another person, never felt the same sense of security and understanding with another person. It may be because they were what I latched onto when in an incredibly abusive relationship, but it doesn’t matter; these feelings are real and profound, no matter the circumstances that allowed me to feel romantic love for someone. Outside of them, I’ve never felt the desire for romance with other people. Perhaps I’ve felt the desire for intimacy, but never in a way I would, reflecting back on it, describe as romantic. It is because of this that I strongly feel I am aromantic; just because one person was able to become an object of romantic attraction around my trauma and autism, does not mean I regularly feel romantic attraction for others. It simply means that someone was the exception, not the rule.

This is why I ponder if it truly matters why you feel the way you do at times. Surely it does in some situations, but in a general sense, does it matter that my identity is heavily a result of my trauma and being autistic? Both of those things heavily impacted my development and who I am as a person, so why would their influence on my identity be any less real? Does it mean I need to just identify as a gay man, when that doesn’t accurately reflect who I see myself as? No, it doesn’t. It just means that my nurture has shifted my nature, and that does not have to mean I must work on eliminating that. There are aspects of myself caused by being autistic and traumatized that I do want to change, as they are actively detrimental to my life. My identity as an agender aro-ace guy is not actively harmful, and in fact, helps me feel more complete as a human. It fills in a hole left by my nurture, and provides a sense of healing. I am more than my trauma, and can claim who it has made me without being broken, or otherwise “less than” others.

I am proud to be an agender guy.

I am proud to be asexual.

I am proud to be aromantic.

I am proud to be in a loving relationship

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #agender #aroace agender #transgender #lgbtq