#he can cook and clean but when it comes to big life stuff like finances and course registration and all that? GET UR SHIT TOGETHER OMFG | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oswaldsleftbicep · 18 days

Note

I thought someone would’ve asked already, but can you complete the “married life” series with the angels please? Thanks <3

married life with mikael, ricardo, & noel

the long awaited finale to the married life series! gotta be one of the sweetest things i've written :,)

genre: fluff

cw: language, nsfw innuendo in ricardo's part

Mikael

❧ the finances would be split 50/50,,, in theory at least. he ends up actually paying for more stuff despite him not really,, having a job? he's got a side hustle that allows him to stay at home while still bringing in the big bucks, it's insane and i'm jealous

❧ that being said, he's a big homebody and doesn't much enjoy running errands. if you want him to go grocery shopping with you you'll have to ask him relentlessly and have it planned days in advance. either way, he lets you use his card and says you can get yourself a treat while you're out so it's okay lol

❧ omg he doesn't clean either, you have to lowkey train him to clean. it starts small with having him help you fold laundry or do some light dusting. did he complain? yes. but did he grow to see the domesticity of it all? yes.

❧ he much prefers to help you out with the cooking. he's so used to having someone make food for him, so actually working through a recipe is a refreshing challenge for him; just be careful tho, he can be impatient and will sneak bites of ingredients and from the dish as it's being prepared

❧ he's a secret romantic at heart, so you can bet he will not give up on dates and anniversaries once y'all are married. most of these events are held within your home, so expect flowers and spa nights, but there's also plenty of fancy dinners out or late night picnics under the stars. he researches upcoming astronomical events and y'all will travel to go see them; he'll keep a photo album/scrapbook full of these trips with pictures of the stars that night along with a photo of the two of you and little mementos from the area

❧ mikael is kinda indifferent on having children as he's always seen it as something expected of him, but something he's never seen himself doing. so, like most of the boys, having kids is a big conversation that's to be had

❧ he has the same indifference with having pets; he doesn't particularly want one, but doesn't loathe the idea. so when you decide to sneak one in, he'll pretend to hate it at first, but ends up growing the biggest soft spot for it and will spoil the ever loving hell out of the creature

❧ assuming he doesn't live in his castle, he wants a fairly large modern house with lots of open space and a clean, bright interior. he's got expensive taste and it takes forever to find a house for the two of you. he wants to keep a certain aesthetic with his decor, very clean and minimalistic

❧ but overtime, you start to add some of your own picks to the place, like pictures and fun art and pointless decorations, and he's like "wtf how did this get here??" but as soon as he realizes it was you, he feels a warmth overtake him, and it really hits him, "this is our home"

Ricardo

❧ he's also want to go 50/50 with the finances, but purely because he does not want to pay for anything, yet he would feel incredibly immasculated if he let his partner pay for everything all the time, regardless of their gender

❧ his disdain for spending money comes in handy tho, and he's pretty good at budgeting and frugality. if you decide to go grocery shopping with him, he complains about the prices of everything the whole time and searches for all the best bargains and deals

❧ he's surprisingly a fairly tidy person, but he prefers cooking to cleaning, and he's also surprisingly pretty good at it. you both received a few cookbooks as a wedding present and he's made it a goal to try every single recipe in them. he likes sitting you up on the counter while he cooks, letting you taste test and sprinkle in some ingredients every now and then

❧ going back to the cleaning thing, he really shines when it comes to folding laundry, like he'd fold all the laundry ever without much complaint. he's also good at taking the trash out, washing dishes, and general tidiness of the home. however, his mortal enemy is making the bed. good luck with that

❧ he takes you on dates like y'all are still in the dating stage; like it's all fun and adventures, running around and giggling like lovesick teenagers. he takes you to every nearby carnival and arcade, and late night rides and club outings are a must. don't worry tho, he'll take you on more romantic dates, but he prefers to save those for anniversaries, which he likes to celebrate biannually. if you personally value smaller milestones like when you got engaged or when he first asked you to be his, he'll get you some flowers that he stole from noel's garden

❧ prefers to practice how to make kids than the idea of actually having them, but i can see him shaping up and showing out to be a decent father if kids are something you seriously want. he 10000000% wants a dog tho, and it's absolutely a big guard dog that he trains to protect you and your children at all times

❧ ok i remember seeing something that was like a scenario where someone gets their s/o a guard dog to protect them and then they get into an argument and make a move toward their s/o, not intending to hurt them ofc but still spooky, and the dog fuckin attacks them to protect the s/o, like good doggie. someone ask me to write this plsplspls-

❧ doesn't really care about where you live, and he leaves the decor completely up to you. ofc he has his preferences with colors and aesthetics, but will absolutely set that aside with mild complaint if it's something you want. just leave the heavy lifting to him, with the small price of some paint fights lol

❧ the one thing he must have is a shared hobby room where he can have his sewing and embroidery supplies, and you can have your setup for whatever your hobbies are :)

Noel

❧ genuinely thought y'all were already married before it even happened-

❧ like the second the two of you talked about marriage and agreed it was something you both want, he thought that was it. so cue his confusion when you started talking about a wedding lmao don't get me wrong tho, he's glad you ended up actually having one, and it was a very joyous occasion, and then things for the most part carry on as they were before you were married

❧ hate to break it to you, but you're the breadwinner. he'll absolutely pitch in when he can, but you end up being the one handling the bills and such

❧ please teach him how to cook so he can stop bugging you to make certain things and bugging you while you're actually cooking. this guy really just needs to get used to living with and sharing a whole space with a person. he's messy, very disorganized, and has never really been bothered to fix that. sunday resets are a necessity in your home, and with time, noel learns to be a functioning and contributing partner in your marriage lmao

❧ the one thing he's got the hang of right out the bat is yard work and caring for your garden. he's very diligent with it, and makes sure you have a fresh bunch of flowers for the kitchen and for the bedroom every week

❧ with his garden, he also grows a majority of your produce, so grocery trips aren't very frequent. but when you do decide to go, he's very keen to join you, just make sure he eats before you go so he doesn't fill the cart too much. he enjoys seeing all the new options and makes it a point to grab something new to try with you every time you go shopping

❧ he doesn't really plan dates, he just sees something that he'd like to do with you and asks you if you'd be down. he doesn't really realize it's a date until about halfway through the outing lmao. as for anniversaries, his main priority is the big annual wedding anniversary, but that doesn't mean the little ones are gone forever. he keeps calendars every year, and when it's time for a new one, he'll go through and fill out all the special dates, like when you had your first kiss, when you first met, etc. when these days come, he'll bring them up softly to you when you wake up or over breakfast; just the fact that he remembered those milestones is more than enough to make you happy

❧ he doesn't feel like he needs to have kids to make his life or his marriage complete, but if it comes up he'd much prefer to adopt a child; he feels that adopting a child and giving them a better life would heal something within him. he also wouldn't mind having a pet, as long as it's something not super energetic, and he doesn't mind high maintenance pets, he likes the routines that come with the responsibility. either way, he treats your pet as if it's completely sentient, having full conversations and giving it a voice in matters of opinion lmao

❧ he'd prefer to have a smaller house, maybe something a little older too. he's not a maximalist like lucas is, but he'll absolutely fill your house up with fun, warm decorations and photographs, making sure to put all of your fondest memories together on full display

#my. hcs #nightmare harem #nightmare harem hcs #nightmare harem mikael #nightmare harem ricardo #nightmare harem noel #otome games

6 notes · View notes

minteyeddevil · 3 years

Note

Hey Toni! I'm not sure if you're still up for requests rn, but if you are can I request the brothers+dateables with a perfect house-spouse MC? Like, the MC can cook and clean and manage a budget (just all the usual household stuff) like no one's business! Like they stepped straight out of a Ghibli movie~ hope you're having a great day!

(Thanks for the request, lovely, and I have been doing alright, just busy taking care of my mom and playing Obey Me more on the side lmao xD Hope you are doing well, and these come out to your liking!❤️)

---

Lucifer:

He sincerely loves having MC as a partner because they help him keep everything organized and tidy, despite how chaotic his brothers can be

They have taken over a lot of household responsibilities for him, and he appreciates the load being taken off his shoulders

Hell, they even managed to coral his brothers for the better, getting them to listen and behave, at least for the most part

Sometimes he gets annoyed because it seems like his brothers might be taking advantage of his MC at times; they usually cover all the cooking duties as well as do all their laundry on top of it

But they never complain and simply smile while taking on the duty and get it done quickly and perfectly

They clean his study, organize his books and help him adjust his paperwork, filing it into piles of what needs to be addressed first, what needs to be signed, and what is done and ready to be sent to Diavolo

They have literally become his right hand in everything, and he never fails to show them appreciation by taking the time to help them as much as he can or take them to a nice dinner/help them relax in the evening

Mammon:

As much as he loves MC, he sometimes gets annoyed how they make him stand still and organize his uniform before going to class

They want him to look tidy and prestine, even though he is used to just throwing on his clothes and getting the day over with

He also gets frustrated that they have taken over his finances and gives him an allowance, taking most of his 'hard earned' Grimm and putting it towards the debts he owes

Though he has to admit he hasn't been this debt free in his entire life since they took over his books

He does appreciate how they keep not only their room but his room super tidy, even to the point that Lucifer can't find a reason to punish him for not keeping it clean

Hell, MC actually helps him A LOT with keeping out of trouble when it comes to Lucifer, so he has been punishment free for a while now!

And the way they make his car sparkle and shine when they clean it up for him? Man, no wonder he loves them so much~

He eventually gets to the point where he picks up the chores for them, wanting to show them how much he appreciates them; or at least he tries to help them, if they tell him they enjoy doing the work themselves

Leviathan:

He genuinely feels like he is living in one of his slice-of-life animes with the way MC is with him

They help him keep his room tidy (despite getting on his case sometimes for leaving it littered with snack wrappers and coke cans) and help dust and organize his figurines and book shelves

They often surprise him with baked goods and meals from his favorite animes, and he tears up every time

They help monitor his shopping habits, making sure he has money for necessities on top of being able to buy more figures and anime/video games

And with enough pull (and occasionally begging) they will take a break from cleaning to sit and watch shows or play video games with him as well

They lecture him on getting enough sleep, even forcing him to bed at times to make sure he doesn't burn himself out, and this gets on his nerves

But he knows they mean well and will begrudgingly listen, tugging them to bed with him as well because they need rest too with how much they do for him and the house

Satan:

He appreciates how much MC respects his room and his books, helping him to organize them by genre and length, taking their time to dust off each one before putting it in its place

He has a habit of leaving books lying around in haphazard places, so they always return them to his room, a note teasing him for leaving them lying around with a heart drawn on it as well

They often help him organize his school notes and review what he needs to know for an upcoming test, studying along side him into the wee hours of the morning

They often bring him hot meals and tea as well, when he is either absorbed in a book or buried in school work, making sure he is watching his own health on top of it all

He finds himself following them around and talking about the latest book he found while they do their chores, and it sometimes rolls into talking about his own feelings and things that have been going on with himself

He finds that they help him organize his own thoughts as well, and he truly appreciates them being at his side

Asmodeus:

He honestly tries his best to keep MC from working so hard because he doesn't want them to get burned out

But they hush his worries with reassurance and go about doing all the chores for the house, on top of keeping his room organized and clean, his clothing pressed and washed, and his vanity spotless

Oh Father above, he worships his MC for all that they do for him

He makes it a point to also help them out where he can, because he feels horrible seeing them work so hard and never ask for assistance

He gets a tad bit jealous when they help his brothers with things they need like washing their clothes or helping tidy their room, so he often pulls them away when he can manage it

He also makes sure they take breaks often drom work, and he spoils them with spa days and bubble bathes and lots and lots of pampering; they deserve it and so much more, so he plans to give it to them

Beelzebub:

The first thing he fell in love with was their cooking; as stereotypical as it may sounds when it comes to Beel, he does often think with his stomach

But he comes to love MC so much more when they shower him with praise on how much he protects and loves his brothers, and how he has such a big and loving heart

He develops a habit of taking over chores MC is in the middle of doing and finishes them for them, despite their protest on it

He wants to take care of them the way they take care of him and his brothers so much, so he is always right there at their side to help

He absolutely loves how they always make his favorite snacks and meals to surprise him with, and they MUST sit with him when he eats them because it makes the whole experience that much better

Belphegor:

The one thing he finds annoying about MC is that they are constantly moving and working, doing chores almost all day

(Well, aside from how they make him get up on time for class and so they both won't be late, but that's a whole other deal, anyway)

He wants to just wrap his arms around their waist and pull them into bed and make them nap with him because he feels tired watching them, they have got to be exhausted by now

But of course they tell him they are not tired, place a kiss on his forehead and go back to cleaning and cooking, getting things done as quickly as they can

With a frown he joins in, helping them with said cleaning, whining the entire time that he would prefer they just curl up with him but their laugh and smile make his frown slowly fade

He loves watching them cook, and sometimes joins in to learn what they are making, so that he can surprise them one day by making dinner for them

Will be practically wrapped around them if they are tending to one of his other brothers (save for Beel) and be telling them to just ignore them, they can take care of their own chores/laundry anyway

Diavolo:

Can't help but chuckle at how MC can give Barbatos a whole run for his money

They can keep up with his cleaning of the castle, moving almost as fast as he does with the chores, all while smiling and humming on top of it

He often tries to tear them away from their work, wanting their attention and time, saying that Barbatos is perfectly capable of taking care of everything

But they feel for the butler having to tend to it all, so they really want to help out as much as they can

They help keep his office organized, paperwork filed and tidy, everything dusted and in its proper place; even help him with the full budget of the Devildom, keeping the books in order as well

They also seemed to have done the impossible, getting Diavolo to actually help do chores around the castle and even begin learning how to cook!

Barbatos almost feels neglected if he wasn't so proud of all they have done for him and his lord

Barbatos:

Match made in heaven (well, um, hell, in this case), an unstoppable duo, two peas in a pod!

Barbatos loves the fact that MC keeps up with his pace, assisting him with every chore and duty that needs tending in the castle

He enjoys their time in the kitchen especially, each teaching the other a recipe, theirs from the human world and his from the Devildom

They tend to the garden together, and he can't help but sneak by them and give them a small peck on the cheek before going to the next rose bush that needs watering

They go grocery shopping together as well and often just chit chat the entire time, a genuine smile on his face as he enjoys his time with them

Diavolo is a giant supporter of their relationship, though he often tells them both to take a day off and rest with how often they both are working

Simeon:

If he had his way, he would be the one caring for MC and doing everything for them, not the other way around

MC often cooks for him (and for Luke on top of that), and keeps both their rooms tidy for them, despite how they both claim they will do it themselves

MC also has become a guardian for Luke, helping him with school work and offers to teach him how to cook and bake on top of taking over chores for the little angel

Simeon has to often remind them that they don't need to do everything, he can take over as well and let them relax and rest

But they always just smile and kiss him, telling him how they want to take care of him, and go about doing everything for him

He always joins them in the endeavor though, not letting them burn themselves out or do too much at one time

He also makes sure they eat and take care of themselves, because the last thing he wants is to see them get hurt when caring for him

Solomon:

He can honestly say he has never been more cared for in his thousands of years of life

MC cooks him hot meals: breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and brings it to him if he is caught up in his studies or work, making sure he eats so he doesn't pass out on them

They press and wash his clothes, even though he tells them that he can do it just fine himself

They also help organize his work desk, vials and potion bottles put in their proper place and safely moved so they don't fall over the edge and cause trouble

He watches them work sometimes, and how they stop to admire a book or an artifact they are holding, and always offer to explain the book or item to them

He uses these moments as an excuse to pull them to his side and have them sit or lie down in his bed, so they can relax with him for a bit; plus he enjoys their attention being solely on him on top of that

#obey me #shall we date obey me #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #diavolo #barbatos #simeon #solomon #request #headcanon #undine-taz

279 notes · View notes

kuroopaisen · 4 years

Text

kita as your boyfriend

✧ steadfast. reliable. unshakeable. kita understands that a healthy relationship is beautifully mundane. he doesn’t express love through grand gestures or lyrical proclamations; no, kita is a man of action, and he wants to make good on his promises.

✧ to people who don’t know him very well, he can come off as cold, even when he’s speaking to you. but, you know that he’s actually quite warm, if you listen to him properly. if he’s being ‘blunt’, it’s because he cares about you, and he wants you to improve. and his compliments are always quite bare, but they’re honest. he doesn’t feel the need to pretty up his words – is it not enough for him to be authentic?

✧ but he’s very soft with you, and the team kind of hates it. they don’t hate you – no, they’re rather fond of you, actually – but they’re just jealous. they try to tease him for it; calling him whipped, telling him he’s already acting like he’s been married for thirty years,,, but it never works. because to kita, loving you is an honour, and he’s grateful to be given the opportunity.

✧ and, you’re one of the few people that can make him smile so easily. some days, simply looking at you is enough to crack that expressionless mask of his. he also tends to find you quite funny, even if you don’t consider yourself such. it’s just because he can be so charmed by you, sometimes; so delighted by your existence in the world.

✧ looking after you becomes part of his routine. it’s not that he’s doing it thoughtlessly – as if kita could do anything thoughtlessly. it’s just that you’ve become so precious to him, so integral to his life that he’s made sure to incorporate you into that daily routine. he’s always looking out for you, and he does his best to take care of you. he’s always making sure you’re eating well, drinking enough water, getting good rest, etc.

✧ he’s never controlling or anything like that; he’s just making sure that you’re feeling okay. for example, he makes you care packages when you’re sick, and he bought you one of those two litre water bottles that have the marks down the side to indicate how much you’re supposed to have drunk by a certain time of the day. but he also makes sure to check in with you emotionally, as well. he may not be the best with comforting words, but he’ll be there for you.

✧ furthermore, he’s such a grounding force because of his outlook on life. no matter what’s stressing you out, or what’s weighing down on your shoulders, a small talk with kita is usually enough to help you stop and breathe. he helps you appreciate life for what it is, to take advantage of the moment and slow down. and the comfort and peace that brings is invaluable.

✧ “repetition. consistency. care. doing stuff right just feels good.” that attitude of his shines through in your relationship, too. he’s got a quiet dedication, and that means that you’re never left feeling unloved. there is never any room for doubt when it comes to his feelings for you. not because he’s flashy, or loud, or even particularly affectionate. no; you never have room to doubt because of how purposefully he loves you. whether that be in the ways he takes care of you, or how frank he is with his words. kita loves you – and it always shows in his actions.

✧ he’s one of the most reliable partners you could ask for. you’d know that your living space would never be out of order, and if you’re forgetful, he’s always there to make up for it. it’s one of the ways he looks after you, too; he does his fair share and more, and he does it with confidence.

✧ if you need advice or an opinion, kita’s your man. you’d be used to the fact that he doesn’t sugar-coat things, and his honesty is something of a blessing. you always know you’re getting the truth from kita, and that’s one of the cornerstones of your relationship. regardless of whether it’s a major life decision you’re about to make, or an outfit you’ll wear on a friday night, you can trust his counsel.

✧ you’re going to end up best friends with his grandmother. sorry, that’s just a given. yes, she started talking about a wedding the very first time you met, but you know it’s just because she wants to see her beloved grandson happy. and, she noticed that you were the person who brought him the greatest sense of peace and contentment.

✧ there’s no way his grandmother didn’t teach him all the pertinent domestic skills. not only can he clean worth a damn, but he can cook quite well, and he’s a master with finances. in many ways, he’s the image of “domestic.” but most of all, he has a particular fondness for practicing domesticity together; preparing meals together, doing spring cleaning together, sitting down and doing the bills together,,, it might seem unromantic to some, but kita sees it as an expression of how you’ve willingly tied your lives together; something that he personally understands as a significant declaration of love

✧ kita’s not a man with big, lofty ambitions. he just wants to live a happy, stable life – with you. if you are the more ambitious type, he’s delighted to support you. but, if you’re like him, content with a quiet yet fulfilling life, that’s wonderful too. no matter what you want out of life, kita is there to ground you. he’s a safe place to come home to, an anchor in the storm. no matter what changes in your life, no matter what surprises it throws at you, you’ll always have him.

✧ quite frankly, kita’s the kind of person who motivates you to be the best version of yourself possible, just by his mere presence. he’s the sort of person who gives it his all, even if he doesn’t make a ceremony out of it. and to see him give you everything you could ask for and more, to see him live his life with such genuine honesty,,, well, who wouldn’t be moved by that?

✧ kita has a quiet kind of love, one that’s so gentle and quiet and dedicated. it isn’t flashy, and some people outside of your relationship might be baffled by it. but you know that he’s just being himself. true to his philosophy in other areas of his life, he doesn’t need praise or applause. he just loves you, and he makes sure he does it right.

#haikyuu x reader #kita x reader #kita shinsuke x reader #kita shinsuke #kita headcanons #kita shinsuke headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #for the longest time my draft for this just read 'read the fuckingingn manga you FOOL' lsdkjflkj #boyfriend series

563 notes · View notes

excitedlysuffering · 4 years

Text

Neji Headcanons Collection

Requested from my wattpad account

For everyone who has requested, I’m slowly getting through them, but I’ve been busy and exhausted lately so it’s taking longer than I wanted it to, I’m sorry!

What He Looks For In An S/O~

• Neji is a pretty stoic, introverted guy, so he’d need someone who was more on the introverted side as well. However, he would love an S/O who could bring him out of his shell a little

• He definitely seems like someone who would prefer to date a fellow shinobi so he didn’t have to worry about them and since they most likely aren’t apart of the Hyuga clan, them being a ninja would help his clan be a little more approving

• He needs a PATIENT S/O

• Neji is new to relationships and someone who understands that and wouldn’t rush him would be ideal

• Although Naruto changed Neji for the best, he can still be a little insensitive sometimes, so a partner who has a thick skin is important

• Neji hates small talk with a passion, so he would look for someone who could hold intellectual conversations or who didn’t mind silence

• As an introvert, Neji is something of a homebody, but make no mistake; this boy is always training so you’d best be ready for rigorous training being a regular past time

• COMMUNICATION is key in a relationship with him

• As smart as Neji is, he does not have the aptitude or patience to deal with mixed signals, so just talk to him, please

Relationship With Neji Stuff~

• Neji isn’t clingy by any means, but you’re his girlfriend and he expects to see you often, and will easily become concerned or upset if his partner starts to seem distant

• Trust is the most important thing to him, if he’s dating you he clearly trusts you A LOT, and it will upset him if he notices you don’t trust him as much

• Your relationship will most likely be lowkey, in public at least, but that’s not because he’s ashamed, he’s just an incredibly private person

• Although Neji will enjoy sparring with you, he will also be up to other ideas for dates

• He loves taking walks with you, whether it’s after dark, before average people are awake, or in the middle of the day

• He’s the kind of person to have a certain amount of time set aside for you, whether you spend it out and about, or inside, he won’t interrupt that time unless it’s unavoidable

• He’s very good at picking up your moods and such things, but he doesn’t always know what to do about them, so he’ll help you in ways he knows how tea and training

• He has a great memory. Whether it’s certain dates, the timing of your week, or little things he’s noticed about you; you can trust he won’t easily forget it

• PDA embarrasses him, but he will allow hand-holding and the occasional cheek kiss

• He takes so much pride in his hair, he won’t allow you to touch it until way later in your relationship, but once he does… he’d rather die than admit, so sometimes he’ll wordless put his head in your lap and scowl until you take the hint

• Neji doesn’t just date around, he’s looking for something serious, so if he realizes that you’re not what he’s looking for in a wife he will immediately (and respectfully) end it

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Generally, Neji is a very forgiving person since he’s needed to be forgiven many times, but there are some things he won’t tolerate; cheating, slander, and genuine disrespect

• An S/O being rude to someone for no reason would turn him off

• He really can’t stand gossipers and busybodies so if you want to lose him, go off I guess

• Laziness is a major thing for him. He can understand being tired of at your limit, but he really can’t handle his S/O just lazing around for a long time

• Immaturity is a big no-no. Neji comes from a clan who only recognizes maturity and formalities so he would be uncomfortable with an overly childish S/O

• Selfishness or being chronically inconsiderate can and will make him angry

• He won’t even entertain someone with bad hygiene like he really doesn’t understand how someone could be okay with not being clean?

• Incessant complaining and whining will grate on his nerves like anything else

• Not respecting his boundaries, even if you don’t understand them, will have him running for the hills before you could even say ‘Byakugan’

Soft Neji Things~

• Neji isn’t one for constant affection, but once he realizes how much he enjoys the lotus position (you sit in his lap, facing him, legs around his waist) it’ll be a regular occurrence. Whether he’s reading or just savoring your presence you’d better get used to it

• He loves to read and sometimes if you ask beg he’ll read to you and he has the smoothest most ASMR voice ever??

• He actually enjoys shopping with you because he loves helping you choose (and he likes to spoil you)

• I strongly believe that Neji plays an instrument (piano, flute or violin) and sometimes he’ll play for you

• If he’s had a really bad nightmare or his family is stressing him out, don’t be surprised if he climbs in your bed at a random hour of the night

• Locked doors or windows have never stopped this boy, so you’d best expect him to just walk in like he owns the place

• Considerate to the max, he’s always thinking about you and doing small things for you

• You actually bring out a new side to him, he’s more playful and free around you

Random Neji Facts~

• Neji made it into a game without your knowledge to see how many times he can scare you by just waltzing into your house

• He’s incredibly competitive, so the second you mention being the best at something, even in jest, prepare to have to prove it in competition

• His love language is in between quality time and acts of service

• He doesn’t really expect gifts or anything, so if you really want to see him light up, get him a little ‘I’m thinking about you’ gift

• Neji likes to journal, he likes to write down little things about his day, or ideas or even quotes that he heard and liked

• He really enjoys domestic activities because he didn’t really think he’d be able to find anyone to do that with

• He loves receiving and writing letters, it’s intimate and it’s special and he’ll keep everyone you send him

• Neji has a love/hate relationship with his hair; he’s very proud of it, but he hates all the extra work that goes into taking care of it

• He always carries extra scrunchies/rubberbands on missions in case his hair gets loose

• He gets sunburns so easily, he’ll always have sunscreen during the hottest months

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your wrist pulse point; it’s intimate and it feels so natural for him, especially when he’s holding your hand

• Way to hug- He loves to place a hand on the back of your head and one on your back; he loves the feeling of being so close to you

• Things to do with you- He loves doing small things with you; reading, drinking tea, or cuddling

• Cuddle position- When he’s not busy, he loves to lay back on the couch with you on top

• Type of date- Lowkey ones, maybe a stroll through the park, or going to a nice little cafe/restaurant

This or That-

• He enjoys spring the most, he loves seeing all the new life after a long winter

• He’s a hardcore morning person, he lives to be productive and the day won’t wait for him to ‘get in the mood’

• He’s a good cook, but as I’ve mentioned, his love language is acts of service so you cooking for him means a lot to him every time

• Loves to read, either on his own or with you and his favorite genres are classics and nonfiction

Conflict Happenings~

• He has a very sharp tongue, but he really hates arguing with you and will try to avoid that for as long as possible

• However, if something needs to be addressed, he will not hesitate

• Would prefer to have a calm, rational, debate, so if either of you loses your cool, don’t be surprised if he just up and leaves

• However, if you say something that crosses the line… God/Pein/Jashin/Kami have mercy on you, this boy will go off

• After the fight is over, he’ll need space to calm down, but once he is, apologies and makeups are quick and sincere

• He refuses to fight over small insignificant things, he finds it beneath him

• He will listen, though, because if something is bothering you, that’s valid to him

• Don’t push him or test his limits, it’ll make him uneasy and feel like he can’t trust you, which can lead to your relationship self destructing

• After fights, whether big or small, he needs some good ol’ fashioned cuddles (you both do honestly)

• He’s a firm believer in not going to bed angry, so even if you’re still upset, he’ll do everything in his power to get rid of his own irritation

• It’s hard to hurt his feelings, but if you do he’s cut deeply, so watch what you say

Modern Neji~

• OMG this boy is one of those people that are always smartly dressed and no one can change my mind

• He’s not a teacher’s pet, per se, but he’s very polite and is always doing his best

• He’s one of those gym obsessed people, but very lowkey about it

• I could definitely see him into fencing and/or martial arts

• He’s the kind of person to only hang out with his closest friends because he feels most comfortable with them

• Most people would know he was from the esteemed Hyuga family, but no one would really process it because he’s not overly flashy and doesn’t really mention it

• He’s still pretty antisocial but after Naruto pretty much shoved his way into his life he started to open up

• Has so many fangirls and is always being asked on dates but is so confused, like why do these strangers always follow him? And who are these gifts from??

• I can really see a turf war between Neji’s fangirls and Sasuke’s fangirls over who’s better

• He most likely majors in business and finance to inherit the Hyuga company or at least have a fundamental role in it

• I think he’d like a roommate, especially if he lives off-campus

• I could see him living with someone like him so he’s not constantly overwhelmed by someone with Naruto’s personality

• Neji is always the model student and I could see him tutoring a few people (begrudgingly, of course)

• He’s always doing his best, but it might not seem like it? Neji is very good at retaining information, so the only time you’ll catch him really studying is if he knows he has trouble in that area

• His living space is meticulously clean and probably kinda bare

• He doesn’t really feel the need to decorate because it’s temporary, but if his roommate wants to he won’t care

• Neji is not a partier, but if his friends drag him to one he might stay for a while

• He’s such a lightweight and he might find himself drunk quicker than he thought possible

• Doesn’t have much of a hangover besides waking up disoriented and dizzy

• I love Neji honestly

Masterlist

#neji hyuga #neji #headcanon #naruto scenarios #naruto shippuden #collection #canon #modern #requested

253 notes · View notes

wenevergotusedtoegypt · 4 years

Note

I hope you don't mind me coming to you for advice. I have a friend I'm considering dating, but don't plan to bring it up for a few months for unrelated reasons. We're both observant orthodox but not interested in the shidduch system and might be a good match for each other. I'm trying to make a list of good questions to discuss (i.e. finances, number of children, aliyah) but was curious if you had a list of suggestions of questions to ask a potential partner outside of the get to their (1/2)

get to know their personality stuff, which we’ve already done. I know the basics—where do you want to live, what’s an ideal budget lifestyle, etc. but I’ve never dated and so I’m trying to be mindful of what the important things are ahead of time and since you only married a year ago, I was hoping you might recall what your important questions were. Thank you so much for reading! You always give such good, thoughtful, and kind advice (2/2)

Hey, sorry for the delay - I know you sent this twice, probably thinking I didn’t get it because I’d answered other asks. The more thought a response takes, the more time I need to write it, so I’ll sometimes answer certain things very quickly because they take less thought while delaying others.

You know, it’s funny how very much memories can fade in just 2 years when they no longer feel especially relevant (our 2nd anniversary is in Cheshvan) - sometimes shidduchim really feels like it was a different life. I honestly don’t even remember very many questions my husband and I asked each other, let alone anyone else. I also never dated someone I already knew, so there were very few people with whom I ever got much past getting to know their personality; I only went on 2 or more dates with 5 people including my husband, and he was the only person to make it past 4 dates. But I guess just some things to consider (which should by no means be considered a comprehensive list):

-Hashkafa - even if you identify with the same label, what exactly does that label mean to you? How do you relate to secular media or education (and how would you want your children to relate to it - which may not necessarily be the same as you do)? What hashkafically-based customs or the like are important to you? How did you get where you are today religiously? (This last one is more obvious for BTs and converts, but if you’re FFB, I still think there’s what to discuss - have you taken ownership in some way of your own yiddishkeit as you’ve gotten older? Are there ways that your hashkafa varies from how your parents raised you, and if so, how did you arrive at them? If you’ve pretty much stuck with how you were raised, what about it made you choose to do so?)

-Parental/gender roles - do you believe there are defined roles for each gender in a marriage? If yes, delve into what those are. If not, discuss how you feel husband and wife should relate to each other/how you picture your ideal relationship. Would he change diapers (if not, run IMHO)? Is there a place for the husband sometimes missing minyan to help out with the kids, or is it more important that he is always at minyan even if it’s difficult for the wife at times (both of you can have opinions on this fyi, not just him)? How do you envision splitting household responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, running errands, etc? (if you both say something vague like “equally,” how would you determine what’s equal?) Would you want to stay home with the kids, work part time, or work full time, and does that line up with his vision for a family?

-Women’s issues - if you have any struggles as a frum woman, talk about them. This isn’t a question. This is just you sharing your experience and observing how he reacts to it. Does he mansplain that this really shouldn’t be such a big deal for you? Is he sympathetic? Does he claim to totally understand (this is not good because it’s not possible and means he hasn’t fully internalized/listened to what you’ve shared) or does he acknowledge that he can’t 100% understand an experience he doesn’t live, but will do his best to try anyway? Does he seem like someone who will do what’s in his power to improve your experience with whatever struggles you express, even if he can’t fix a wider issue as a single individual?

-Style of handling conflict - this can be a little tricky because sometimes the way we want to say we’d handle conflict isn’t what actually happens in reality, but try to be honest with yourself when presenting your side and hope he’ll try to do the same. If you were upset at your spouse, would you want to be left alone until you were ready to talk, or would you want them to approach you to try to work it out? If you did [insert really annoying and/or thoughtless hypothetical thing here], how would he handle it (and vice versa)? When you have an issue with someone, e.g. a roommate, do you tend to confront them about it directly, or be more passive-aggressive?

-(a little later on - not first date material) Discuss any significant medical or mental health issues that a potential spouse should be aware of prior to getting engaged. Explain what it is and how it affects your life.

-How you want to raise your kids - What did you appreciate about your upbringing (and want to replicate) and what did you dislike (and would not want to replicate)? What would you prioritize when choosing a school?

-Shabbos - Do you envision having a lot of guests, or mostly just eating as a family, or trading off depending on the week?

Related advice but not what you actually asked for: Always keep in mind when you are giving your own answers to these questions (and any he might bring up) that this isn’t about having the “right” answer to convince the other person to keep dating you/marry you. It’s about giving your honest answer and finding out if your honest answer and his honest answer are compatible. If they aren’t, you want to find out now, acknowledge that unfortunately the two of you are not a match, and move on (assuming the issue is a dealbreaker; if it’s not an outright dealbreaker, you still want to have the cards on the table and be aware that a compromise will be required should you move forward rather than finding that out later). You don’t want to give the “right” but dishonest answer, get married, and then have issues because the two of you aren’t in fact on the same page.

Hope this helps! Whether or not this guy is your beshert, may Hashem give you full clarity on the situation as you proceed. :)

#shidduchim

14 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

984

Have you ever tried Turkish Delight? No. I’ve looked up photos of it before and it has genuinely never looked appealing; sorry to those who are delighted (heh heh) by them :/ I’m willing to try it if I ever get the chance, but I really doubt that I’ll enjoy.

Do you have a Vietnamese restaurant in your town or city? They’re a lot less common than other Asian restaurants, but I think we do have a fair share, yeah. The most common are banh mi joints. I think the reason why they aren’t super popular in my country is that Vietnamese dishes tend to be veggie-heavy - at least that’s the impression of most people here - and with Filipinos loving rice and meat in everything they eat, other cuisines simply end up being more popular, like Thai and Chinese.

Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yes; we had a couple of PSPs and a DSi as kids. These days, we have a Switch.

Have you ever been in a car with a sunroof? Yeah the Vitara has one. It’s my favorite trick to pull off whenever a friend is riding with me in it for the first time, haha. Everyone always gets so excited about it.

Do you have to have an occasion to eat out or do you just do it for fun? Back in college I allotted a certain portion of my weekly allowance to be able to eat out once or twice a week. Food is the way to my heart and happiness and it just felt good to have nice food, man. I didn’t want to have to wait for occasions to be able to eat at my favorite restaurants.

Have you opened a letter today? No, I haven’t.

How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s around a 10-15 minute drive.

Have you ever been to the emergency room? Nope.

Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? I wasn’t for a very long time, but it’s starting to become that way now that I’ve started having a regular 9-6 shift. I find that I’m way crankier and am prone to crying from anxiety if I don’t make myself a cup of coffee. When I do, I feel super productive and more motivated to do work.

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? Twice. Once for junior prom and the next was for my college grad photo shoot.

Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They both started out as part of the kitchen crew in a luxury hotel in the city, my mom as a waitress and my dad as a cook. My mom started pursuing my dad when she discovered what school he came from lol because priorities, I guess.

What is your favorite Chinese food? Minced pork with eggplants is a huge favorite of mine. Xiao long bao and pork buns (steamed or baked) are also suuuuuper good.

Would you ever work at a movie theater? Probably not at this point in my life. It would’ve been a nice gig during college.

Do you have a phone charger in your car? Yessir. I need one since I constantly use Waze to get to anywhere for both directions and traffic updates, and the LTE I need for that drains my battery.

Do you live far from your parents? No, they’re like 10 steps away, in another room.

Have you ever submitted a video to Funniest Home Videos? Nope. I always loved the videos though and the show made up a big part of my childhood.

Have you ever been attracted to an authority figure? I’ve found several teachers attractive before, yeah. The biggest crush I had was on my biology teacher...I think everyone else had a crush on her too lol, she was the personification of beauty and brains.

Do you think you have a wide vocabulary? I mean I guess I know more words than most people my age...but I also feel that my vocabulary still would’ve been a lot wider if I just continued to read well into my teenage years and now as a young adult.

What was the last hot food you ate? Lumpia.

Have you ever seen a meteor shower? I don’t think so.

Describe your current position: I’m sitting up on my bed, laptop on my lap, right leg outstretched with my left leg tucked underneath it.

Have you used a microwave today? It’s only 5:01 AM, so I haven’t. We’ll see about today.

What was the last electronic device you purchased? I don’t really buy electronics. I’m more likely to buy accessories for the stuff I already have, and the last one I got was a new case for my phone.

Have you ever slept through an alarm? I think so; only a few times though. I wake up from them easily.

Do you have any celebrity crushes? Kristen Stewart and Kate Winslet are where it’s at for me, y’all.

Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? I can go either way. Coffee is coffee. I don’t mind making my own for convenience, or paying a few hundred bucks for a little more quality coffee.

Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? Yeah I have a cup of 3-in-1 barako coffee beside me. I actually made this cup at like, 7 PM last night...then I fell asleep for a bit, woke up at midnight, fucked around for a few hours and now I’m back to drinking it at 5 AM, ha.

Do you have lactose intolerance or know anyone who does? I have a mild case of it. It’s not a complete disaster for me to eat cheese or consume milk, and I wouldn’t say that my trips to the bathroom afterwards are emergencies. My body has for the most part been nice to me, hahaha.

Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not to my knowledge, no.

Have you killed a bug this week? Probably.

What was the first food you learned how to cook? I followed a recipe for onion rings a few months ago and that was super fun, but I haven’t followed that up yet so I dunno if it’s right to say I ‘learned’ it.

Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? Journalism.

How many email accounts do you have? Four, but honestly I barely use the Outlook one anymore. I have three main email addresses on Gmail.

Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? My parents come with me because they take care of the finances and insurance that go with things like that.

Have you ever made your own pasta noodles from scratch? Hmm, I don’t think so.

How long is your average shower? 5-10 minutes.

How close is the nearest park from your house? We don’t have any public parks because my country sucks, but my village has a few small parks that residents can flock to and walk their dogs in or bring their kids to play in or whatever. The nearest one is a 10-15 minute walk or a 2-minute drive away, depending on how you prefer to get there. Which household chore do you hate the most? Cleaning up dog pee.

Have you ever been to an all-you-can-eat buffet? So many times. They’re very common here and there are a lot of restaurants that solely have a buffet gimmick. Sambo Kojin was my favorite, and I’m really hoping their business wasn’t affected by this stupid virus.

Can you see out any windows from where you are? Yup.

Do you like pineapple on pizza? No, but I also don’t like pineapples and all other fruits.

What color is your soap? Green or white. I don’t really pay attention.

Is anything bothering you right now? Just about all the time, yes.

When’s the last time you had a headache? Sometime this week or last week.

What woke you up this morning? I woke up naturally as I normally do these days.

Are you planning to go see a movie anytime soon? Yeah my workmates have been watching American Murder on Netflix and all of them so far are raving about it, so I want to give that a shot soon.

Will you sleep alone tonight? I always sleep alone.

How do you feel right now? Confused at my lack of drowsiness and a little sad but it’s manageable for now.

Is shyness cute? I don’t feel any particular way towards it. I suppose it can be endearing and it can also be annoying.

Will you be up before 7:00 a.m. tomorrow? I already am.

What are your plans for tonight? Maybe keep doing surveys or send in my online interview that a company I’m applying to asked me to accomplish. I didn’t even know do-it-on-your-own-time interviews were a thing; it’s super convenient and removes my anxiety of being interviewed in real time by strangers.

Would you rather write in pink pen or blue pen? Blue.

Have you ever kissed the last person you text messaged? Yes.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Just myself. Haven’t cried in front of anyone in a while.

Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yep.

Have you smoked a cigarette in the past 24 hours? No, but could definitely use one.

Were you happy when you woke up today? Nah I woke up crying I think. It was one of the more difficult mornings.

Are you the youngest sibling? I’m the eldest.

#survey #surveys

5 notes · View notes

argylemnwrites · 4 years

Text

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment - Chapter 21

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Canon Divergent from Book 2, Chapter 15)

Word Count: ~4600

Rating: R (language)

Summary: Riley and Drake settle in for the next chapter of their lives.

Author’s Note: Wow. Just the epilogue is left. I can’t believe this story is basically complete.

This series diverges from TRR canon, where instead of waiting to discuss his relationship with Riley until their last night in NYC, leaving her a note while Liam is proposing to her, Drake tackles this topic as soon as possible after Tariq makes his statement and Riley’s name is cleared. To catch up on this series, you can find the previous chapters in my masterlist (link is located in my bio).

Drake heard the locks on the apartment door clicking open and the squeak of the hinges, pulling him awake. He had no idea what time it was. With the time zone changes and his numerous flights over the past couple of days, any traces of an internal clock were blown to hell completely.

He heard Riley, clearly trying to move through the small space quietly. He figured it couldn’t be too late, otherwise she probably wouldn’t be making that much of an effort to stay relatively silent. Of course, given the number of times he’d woken up last night, his body clearly having no idea what time of day it was, maybe she was just being nice and letting him sleep in. He was contemplating keeping his eyes closed and seeing if he could fall back asleep, but when she turned on the faucet, any possibility of him drifting off again went out the window.

“What time is it?” he asked, clearing his throat and cracking his eyes open. Riley was in the little kitchen area of her apartment, in front of the coffee maker which Drake heard gurgling to life. She was still in her glasses and her hair was thrown into a messy sort of braid over her shoulder. She was wearing a blue t-shirt with a red “ny” printed across the front, but oddly enough, was wiggling out of the jeans she was wearing. She glanced up at his question, giving him a warm smile.

“A little before 10,” she said as she continued to peel off her pants.

Alright, well he’d slept in a lot, but at least it was still morning. Maybe he’d be able to correct his sleep schedule in the next night or two. He stretched slightly and sat up in bed. “Not that I mind,” he said as he let out a yawn, “but why are you getting undressed?”

She laughed, stepping out of her jeans and turning to the radiator that was on the side wall, crouching down and turning it on. “It’s brick out today, so I’m gonna have to turn on the heat, but this radiator has two settings, off and insanely boiling. ”

“So your radiator works… too well?”

“Yeah, living here in the winter means a very minimalistic dress code. And don’t ever put anything on it to dry or you’ll definitely burn down the building.”

“Noted. Where’d you go this morning?”

She grabbed a little white bag off the counter and flopped back down on the bed, handing it to him as she propped her pillows up against the wall and settled in. “Grabbing breakfast,” she finally replied, nodding at the bag she’d handed to him.

“I would have made us breakfast. You could have woken me up if you were hungry.”

Riley smiled, but she shook her head slightly before she dropped it to his shoulder, “I want you to be happy here.”

Her statement caught Drake off guard. “I don’t mind cooking, Liu.”

“And while I intend to keep reaping the benefits of that fact, I want you to actually experience some of the fun things about New York.”

“And that means… bagels?” Drake asked as he peeked inside the bag.

“New York City bagels are special. Nowhere else in the world gets them right.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious, Drake! Bagels in Cordonia are just not the same.”

“I’ll keep an open mind,” he said with an eye roll. “What kind did you get?”

“Sesame and everything,” she replied. Drake held the bag open for her to pick first, but she shook her head. “I like them both; you should pick.”

“What about ladies first?”

“Well, good thing I not a fucking lady,” she said raising an eyebrow. Drake just laughed and pulled out the sesame bagel before he passed the bag to Riley. She watched him expectantly as he took a bite. It was a damn good bagel, but he didn’t know if it was as life-changing as she made it out to be.

“So?” she asked once he swallowed down his first bite.

“It’s good, Liu.”

“Just good?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s a good bagel.”

“Whatever, you just don’t get it,” she said, shaking her head and pulling the other bagel out of the bag. Drake smiled before he took another bite.

“Eating these in bed was a terrible idea,” he said as he watched crumbs and sesame seeds tumble onto the sheets.

Riley shrugged, “We’ll just do laundry later. I have to go through and clean some stuff out of the closet and dresser anyway.”

“Why?”

“So you can finally get some space for your stuff and stop living out of a suitcase.”

Drake turned his head to look at her fully. She was happily enjoying her bagel, checking something on her phone with her other hand. After a few seconds, she glanced up to look at him. “What?” she asked between bites of her bagel.

“Thank you, Riley.”

“You’re welcome, Drake.”

He leaned forward, dropping a quick kiss on her lips before he climbed out of bed, sliding on his boxers and heading over to the coffee maker, figuring the pot must be ready at this point. He poured two mugs of coffee and added cream to Riley’s before he came back to bed, handing her mug to her before he slid back under the sheets. Riley shifted slightly as he settled in, draping her legs over his knees.

“So, I wanted to get your opinion on something,” he said after he took a sip of his coffee.

“What is it?”

“When I was in Texas, my mom invited me to come down for Christmas. Or rather, she invited us, I guess.”

“Okay…”

“Well, what do you think about that?”

Riley took a second before she answered, “I think what I think doesn’t matter as much as what you think.”

She was right, of course. It wasn’t fair to put this decision on her. Drake was just really torn. He got the sense that his mom was trying to reach out with the invite. But at the same time, it felt like doing this all at the holidays was just a way to pretend things were totally normal. Like they were some happy, perfect family who got together at Christmas and drank eggnog and sang carols. And Drake just wasn’t at that point yet, he didn’t think.

“I think… I think I’m not ready to do a big family holiday with her again. Not this year. Not so soon.”

Riley nodded slowly, “Okay,” she said, “We can do Christmas here. Just you and me. New York is a pretty fun city around the holidays, even if the tourists are a bit much on New Year’s Eve.”

“Sounds good, Liu. I do want to take a trip back to Texas at some point, though. With you, I mean.”

She gave him a little smile, “I think that can probably be arranged.”

Drake ran his free hand over her legs as he brought his coffee back towards his lips, but before he could take another sip, Riley spoke.

“I have to tell you something, too.”

“Okay,” Drake replied, pausing and glancing at her. The statement sounded like it was something bad, but she only looked slightly nervous, and she was still drinking her coffee. He knew how she got when she had something to talk about that made her truly uncomfortable or upset, and it certainly wasn’t like this. So whatever she wanted to talk about, it must not be a massive deal.

“You know how we flew out to Cordonia and got that hotel for Constantine’s funeral?”

Drake held his coffee out in front of him as he carefully shifted slightly to face her a little better, “Yeah, Liu. I was there.”

She kicked her heel back lightly against his knee and rolled her eyes, “Anyway, I didn’t exactly pay for either or those things.”

Drake was sure he looked almost comically confused. He felt his brow furrowing as he shook his head slightly. “Then how-”

“Olivia paid for them.”

“Huh.”

“And I know you don’t like accepting favors from her, but I couldn’t see maxing out my credit cards when she was offering, you know?”

Drake nodded slowly, “So, you’re telling me that the hotel that we had for four nights, but only used for one, and the plane tickets that I only used one way - Olivia was the one who ate that cost?”

Riley smirked a little and dipped her head, “I didn’t know it was going to pan out that way.”

Drake just threw his head back and laughed, “This is great! Here I was feeling guilty that I wasted a bunch of your money, but instead I wasted hers.”

“Drake!”

“Oh, come on. You’ve been in her wine cellar, Liu. She’s not even gonna notice the difference.”

Riley shook her head, but she was smiling, so Drake figured she wasn’t too upset with his glee that Olivia had been the one to finance the travel plans that had ended up going completely sideways. “So, I take it you aren’t mad?”

“Not even slightly,” said Drake, sliding his hand down to her calf and squeezing it gently in reassurance. As they both continued to enjoy their coffee, they just talked, not about the serious, or the stressful, or the emotional. After last night, they’d both had enough of that for the moment. Instead, they talked about the mundane, the stupid, the silly, the bland, getting each other caught up on their days apart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been just about a month since Drake last set foot in George’s diner. He cringed, thinking back on how he’d left things back then. How he’d been a sullen ass, consumed with guilt, angry at himself and the world. He hoped George didn’t fully remember the person he’d been, the way he’d behaved.

He pushed open the door and entered, walking up to the counter. George was over serving an older man at the far end of the counter, but nodded at Drake in greeting, his eyebrows climbing his forehead just slightly. As soon as he’d taken care of the other customer, he strolled over to the register, reaching out to shake Drake’s hand.

“It’s been awhile, son. How are you?”

Drake paused for a moment before answering, “Better.”

George nodded at him slowly, wiping his hands on his apron. “Glad to hear it. You still looking for work?”

Drake shook his head, “No… well, not exactly. I signed with a temp agency last week. I started a few days ago with an insurance company, doing some data entry for the next couple of weeks.”

“Nothing wrong with that, son.”

Drake nodded. “I know” he said, “a paycheck’s a paycheck.”

He knew that most people wouldn’t view working as a temp at his age as a great thing, but Drake had been relieved after his first meeting at the agency. When Riley and him had talked about what he might want to do for a job, she’d suggested checking out temp work when he expressed frustration that he didn’t really know what he wanted as a career. It felt like something he should have a better idea of at this point in his life, but Riley had seemed utterly unphased by it. She’d mentioned temp agencies as a way to gain some actual work experience and make some money while he figured things out. Interviewing with the agency had been much lower stress than any of the other interviews he’d gone on last time, probably because, as Riley had told him, the agency wanted as many potential employees as possible since they got paid when their clients found work.

“I assume you’re here for some food and not just to chat.”

Drake chuckled, “I am. I actually called in a carry out order for Walker.”

So Drake paid up, chatting with George about Sam and the baby and how things were in his life as he got the order all bagged up. He waved goodbye and headed back to the subway, making his way back to the apartment.

He was getting better at navigating the city, or at least navigating Manhattan. Riley was right, the whole thing was a giant grid, so that much made sense. And he could appreciate that people here were blunt and direct. It was a nice contrast to the social games and doublespeak of court.

He didn’t know that New York felt like home at this point, but being here this time didn’t feel anywhere near as overwhelming as it did the first time. Part of it, he figured, was because he knew what he was getting into now. He also appreciated how much of an effort Riley was making to help him find aspects of New York he’d like. Every Monday night, when Riley was off, they’d gone out to some restaurant and bar. Riley assured him she was picking out places that she thought he’d like when he’d balked at some of types of cuisine she’d suggested, and she’d been right every time thus far. Besides, she’d told him there was little point living somewhere with every type of cuisine on the planet if he didn’t at least try some of them.

Their weekends had been a bit more variable, based on whether or not Riley was working. But this weekend she was off, and tonight was going to be a lazy night in. He knew Riley wasn’t really the type who liked to spend a Friday night lounging around in pajamas, but he appreciated that she understood him well enough to not push him to go out every night they could. Besides, tomorrow they were going to check out one of the city’s Christmas markets, something they were both actually looking forward to, it turns out.

The amount he and Riley were actually planning things was a little bit weird, considering she always talked about how impulsive she was and he knew he didn’t put much thought into the future or whatnot. But Drake realized that their combined efforts to not just roll along, with Riley getting up to eat breakfast with him a couple of mornings a week, with him going out for happy hour with a couple of his coworkers at the insurance company where he was posted, with both of them stepping out of their comfort zones just a little bit when it came to date nights, actually was making things a lot better. For him, at least. He hoped Riley felt the same way. He was pretty sure she did.

Drake exited the subway at the stop by the apartment and walked the couple of blocks quickly. It was December now, and the temperatures had really plummeted. Riley consistently referred to cold days as “brick,” which he’d found odd, but Luke at the office did the same thing, so he figured maybe it was a New York thing. He checked the mail and then climbed the stairs up to the fourth floor. He went to unlock the door, but paused for a moment. It almost sounded like the power drill he could hear running was coming from her unit.

He unlocked and opened the door, taking in what was going on. The first thing he noticed was, as always, the sweltering heat. Riley hadn’t been kidding when she told him the radiator ran very hot. He’d taken a peek at it to see if there was some obvious fix, but he was nervous to mess with too much, because Riley warned him the landlord would definitely assess them damages if it stopped working all together. Besides, he didn’t really mind the fact that both of them ended up wearing very little around the apartment these days.

The next thing that caught his attention, though, was Riley. She was indeed using a drill. It was a strange sight, watching her stand over by the window, dressed only in some gym shorts and a little tank top, attaching the legs to a chair. Drake wasn’t sure if he was more turned on or confused.

As soon as the whir of the drill stopped, Drake called out to her, “Liu, what the hell-” but she shrieked in surprise, letting the drill drop to the ground.

“Drake, you scared the shit out of me,” she chastised as she reached down to pick up the drill. Anderson abandoned his post on the armchair, trotting over to greet Drake.

“Sorry,” Drake said, crouching down to give the dog a couple of scritches, “Does he need to go out?”

“Nah, I took him out maybe an hour ago,” she replied, before she turned back to her project and turned on the drill again. Now that he knew he didn’t immediately need to go back outside, Drake started stripping off his clothing, getting down to his t-shirt and boxers and placing their dinner on the counter before he went and sat on Riley’s side of the bed, watching her work.

“As I was saying,” he continued the next time the drill stopped, “what the hell are you doing?”

Riley looked at him like he was stupid. “I’m putting together a table and chairs.”

“I see that.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“Where’s your desk?”

“I sold it online,” she replied before moving to turn the drill back on, but Drake reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

“You gotta give me more than that, Liu.”

“The desk worked fine when it was just me, but you sitting on the side of the bed and me sitting at the desk to eat was not sustainable. So, I decided enough was enough. Uskea was running a promotion, so I bought us a table.”

“Riley…”

“Now, I picked a really small one, but does stick out a bit more than the desk did, so it’ll be a bit of a tight fit when you pull the chair back, but-”

Drake stood, grabbing her shoulders and kissing her roughly. After a few seconds, he pulled back, glancing down at the table and chair set she’d selected. A table and chairs that were meant for the two of them. It was such a tangible representation of a future with them together.

“I take it you like it?” she asked. He looked up and saw her smirking at him.

“Yeah, Liu. I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley felt some faint butterflies in her stomach as she entered the restaurant, scanning the waiting area to see if he had arrived already, but she couldn’t find him anywhere. She checked the time on her phone. For once in her life, she was early. She could probably chalk that up to nerves.

Liam was in New York. He had let Drake know that he would be in town for three nights surrounding the UN Holiday Gala about a week ago, and had asked if the two of them would like to join him for dinner one night. The thought of hanging out with her live-in boyfriend and his best friend who happened to be her sort-of ex was a bit on the weird side already, but Drake had texted her this afternoon that his boss was making everyone stay late for some “bullshit,” so he would be coming straight from work and would probably be a bit late for the reservation. It meant that it would be just her and Liam, at least to start the night.

Deciding that a drink might help take the edge off a little bit, Riley made her way over to the bar and ordered herself a whiskey sour. She was taking her first sip when she saw a couple of men in crisp black suits enter and station themselves near the door. Sure enough, Liam was a few seconds behind them. Riley raised her hand, signaling her location. After a couple of seconds, Liam made eye contact and gave her a warm smile before he made his way over to join her at the bar.

She stood up from her stool, giving him a loose hug in greeting when he reached her. “Hey, Liam.”

“Hello, Riley. It’s good to see you.”

“You too. I was just grabbing a drink since we’ve got a little time before our reservation. Would you like one?”

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” he said, before sitting down on the stool next to the one she’d been using. He flagged down the bartender and ordered himself an Old Fashioned.

“I’ve never seen you drink one of those before,” said Riley as she climbed back onto her stool, mainly trying to find some innocent topic of conversation to carry them through until Drake arrived. Not that Drake’s arrival was going to lessen the dredges of awkwardness, but at least there would be three people to fumble through conversation instead of just two, so there would probably be fewer moments of uncomfortable silence.

“Yes, well… I’ve been having them on occasion since my father passed. They were his drink of choice, you see.”

“Oh,” Riley replied, taking a sip of her own drink. So much for an innocent topic of conversation. “Do you find them… therapeutic?”

Liam tilted his head to the side slightly, “I guess they’re a safe way to remember him.”

“That makes sense.”

The bartender returned with his drink at that point. Liam accepted it with a smile and nod, taking a sip of it before he continued.

“I know my father wasn’t a saint, and in some ways I’ve come to terms with the man he was. The choices he made, both as a father and a king, that I cannot stand behind were a part of him, but they weren’t all of him. But sometimes I just want to think about him as the man I loved, the man I looked up to, without worrying about the harsher realities. Drinking something that always made him smile is an easy way to do that.”

“Well, I get that,” said Riley, taking a sip of her own drink.

“Is there something you do like that to reminisce about your mother?”

“Oh sure, I just shoot up a little heroin,” she quipped, taking another sip of her drink.

Liam didn’t say anything, so Riley turned her head and looked at him fully. He was staring at her, his drink clutched tightly in his hand. “I’m fairly certain you’re joking, but I don’t want to say anything insensitive.”

Riley laughed at that, “Of course I’m joking, Liam.”

He let out a sigh before he smiled and gave a little chuckle, “I just wanted to make sure. You see, it’s come to my attention that I may not have gotten to fully understand your sense of humor.”

She frowned at that, “What are you talking about?”

Liam gave her a little shrug, “Drake and I often seemed to have somewhat different perceptions of you, your attitudes, your opinions, that sort of thing. Given everything that transpired, I think it’s safe to say that Drake’s understanding of you is significantly more accurate than mine.”

Riley winced at that. He said it all so matter-of-factly, but it was so fricking uncomfortable to remember that time and how she treated him. “Liam, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not looking for an apology. I’m just looking to actually get to know you. The real you, not the version of yourself you felt the need to present to me before.”

Riley didn’t exactly know how to respond to that. Everything he’d said was painfully true. She’d been intimidated by him initially. She’d been so careful to not swear, to not be too sarcastic or judgemental in front of him. He was royalty, and she was a brash, potty-mouthed waitress. It’s part of the reason she’d started spending more and more time with Drake, even when he was still a rude asshole to her. She’d never had to pretend around him.

Even as time went on, she never felt comfortable enough around Liam to fully drop the act. I mean, he got flustered if she flirted overtly, he never teased her, always just finding little ways to agree with her when she teased him, and he pursued her like he was some cheesy romance novel character. It had always just felt like she had to keep playing a part with him. She just didn’t know how to tell him that without hurting him more than she undoubtedly already had. It wasn’t that his way of doing things was bad; it just was never right for her.

Liam shook his head at her prolonged silence. “Riley, I can understand why you felt the need to censor yourself around me. I had hoped I had made you comfortable enough to be your genuine self with me, but that obviously wasn’t the case. But at this point, I really just want to get to know the woman who’s dating my best friend, okay? If you’re going to be in his life, I want us to have an authentic friendship of our own.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“How about cursing?”

“What?”

“Drake tells me you have a rather colorful vocabulary. Well, I’d like to hear it.”

“I don’t know, Liam….”

“Trust me, Riley. I’m friends with Drake. I don’t think there is anything you could say that would scandalize me.”

She let out a rough breath and closed her eyes, not sure if his idea was mad brilliant or mad stupid, “Liam, do you really fucking think that hearing me call some of the fucking bitches at court annoying, petty motherfucking assholes with no goddamn common sense is going to help you get to know me? Because it feels like it might be a bunch of bullshit.”

She opened her eyes slowly, but Liam was just giving her a gentle smile. “Good. I think that’s a start at least.”

Riley smiled back at him, “Okay then. You asked for it. You get all the fucking profanities from here on out. Just remember, it was all your idea.”

He laughed at that, “No need to worry. I’ll remember.”

Riley was about to suggest going up to see if their table was ready, but she saw Drake dart through the door, scanning the waiting area, clearly looking for one or both of them, and then approaching the hostess stand when he couldn’t find them.

“Ah, shall we go join him?” asked Liam as he followed her gaze.

“Yeah, sounds good,” said Riley, hopping off her stool and falling into step beside Liam as they walked over. As they approached the entrance, she caught the tail end of what the hostess was telling Drake.

“- first from your party to arrive, but your table is ready if you want to follow me.”

Drake shook his head, “That can’t be right. I-” but he stopped talking when he caught sight of the two of them. “Oh, there you guys are.”

“Hello, Drake,” said Liam, walking over with his arms extended, exchanging a brief hug with him before stepping back.

“Hey, man. How are you?”

“I’m doing well. Did I hear our table’s ready?”

“Yes, sir. If you three could follow me,” the hostess chimed in.

As Liam fell in behind the hostess, Riley stepped up, squeezing Drake’s arm in greeting and sliding her hand down to his as she moved to follow Liam and the hostess to their table. But Drake tugged her back, so she spun to face him.

“What’s up?”

“I’m sorry I’m late for this. Was it… are you guys okay?”

She just gave him a smile and nodded, “Yeah. I think everything’s going to be fine.” She squeezed his hand to reassure him, then tugged him forward. “Come on, let’s go enjoy a fancy ass dinner with our friend.”

Permatag: @speedyoperarascalparty @mfackenthal @lilyofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @jamesashtonisbae

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie @octobereighth

Drake x MC only: @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley--walker @notoriouscs @butindeed @addictedtodrakefanfic

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment: @wickedgypsymoon @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @feartheendlesssummer @ao719 @ooo-barff-ooo @sunnyxdazed

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr fanfic #the royal romance #trr #choices trr #trr liam #king liam #choices fanfiction #choices #playchoices #choices stories you play

45 notes · View notes

nobunaga-the-warlord · 4 years

Note

Nobu/Hermione

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

How long will they last? - A hundred years or more. Witches can live a long time and Nobu wouldn’t leave her for a moment of it~

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It was a slow build-up. At first, it was nothing more than lust and taboo running rampant during his classes. Soon enough Nobu kept wanting her to stay longer and taking risks just to be with her.

How was their first kiss? - Passionate. A late night training in his brand of magic had him behind her. Guiding her fingers to the perfect gestures... Hermione turned for a question but Nobu silenced her kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Nobunaga~

Who is the best man/men? - Harry if only for Hermione’s sake

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Luna. Tonks, Cho, and Ginny

Who did the most planning? - Hermione for their first ceremony, Nobu when he took her to his Empire to be crowned Empress

Who stressed the most? - Hermione but her finance was there to help her relax~

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Ron and Remus. Unfortunately, unlike Harry they still held a grudge against the old dragon.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Nobunaga~

Who is the one to instigate things? - Surprisingly both! Nobu is often teasing her in places he shouldn’t but Hermione gives back with surprises in meetings/class

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Hermione lasts a few hours before having to tag out~ Having his true form being a dragon came with a few benefits of Stamina

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - She tries but Nobu often spends time tying her to the bed making her cum countless times~

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Nobu will try for as many as possible drakes! But his dragon blood makes births rare so two or three

How many children will they adopt? - They certainly don’t need to but they’d be willing to take one in

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Nobu. He is more than happy taking care of their children while she rests in the next room.

Who is the stricter parent? - Hermione. Often scolding Nobu for doting on them too much.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Both. Nobu might teach them a few tricks but it swift in stoping things too much for them.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Nobu! He adores cooking for his family.

Who is the more loved parent? - Hermione!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Hermione tried to get him to come but he flies off on a ‘diplomatic meeting’ whenever they come around

Who cried the most at graduation? - Hermione is so proud of her O students

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Both~

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Nobunaga! Cooking is one of his passions

Who is the pickiest in their food choice? - Hermione still keeps some of her parent's habits about watching sugary foods.

Who does the grocery shopping? - They go together but Nobu will go on his own to find dinner ideas

How often do they bake desserts? - Nobu often makes them much to Hermione’s annoyance.

Are they more of a meat-lover or a salad eater? - Nobu is meat while Hermione is salad eater.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Is it a surprise when Nobu does it almost every year XD

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hermione though he agrees to try more dishes

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Nobu sneezing while cooking lol. With her skill in potion-making Hermione is a good cook as well! Though she doesn’t believe her husband when she does

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Servants

Who is really against chores? - Nobunaga. “Where magic aren’t we? Why should we have to clean...”

Who cleans up after the pets? - Hermione is used to taking care of Crookshanks

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Nobu though his more likely to turn them to ash before sweeping it under

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Hermione

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hermione since Nobu rarely pays attention to money with his gold

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Both due to sharing for fun times

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Nobu if one of their kids convinced them to get one. He still misses his old pup.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Hermione often has to remind him before he does so. Even after hundreds of years, he forgets about holidays from his childhood.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Marriage and children~

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Hermione after getting lost in his library again. Nobu hates mornings but wakes early for his training or sex

Who plays the most pranks? - Nobu often does sexy pranks for her huff about later... Even if she secretly loves them~

#betweenthesinnersandthesaints

2 notes · View notes

leigh-kelly · 5 years

Text

Your Promise Must be the Reason the Happy Season is Here

Some new Fire Island!AU.

Once the storm subsides, Brittany manages to get Dr. Chang on the phone and he braves the snowdrifts to come care for Ana. You had been right about it being influenza and he gives Mercy medication and instructions to keep her comfortable. They stay another night and then they take her home, promising you that they have enough candles to keep the house lit until you have power again. It takes six days before you do and though you’re missing it, Brittany insists that you go to get a Christmas tree. She strings the lights, though they can’t be lit, and you decorate it together in front of the warm fire.

Together, you bake cookies and her arm gets better each day. You see her get antsy to do the things she shouldn’t and you don’t chastise her when she does. You know that she’s grown and can make her own choices but still, you worry each and every minute. Christmas is coming though and the two of you get wrapped up in the excitement. Though you won’t be going back to the city, you wrap gifts for your mother and father and the little girls and get them in the mail so they’ll have them in time. You shop for gifts for the Karofskys who will have you over for dinner, you find a few small things for little Ana and you kiss Brittany beneath the mistletoe that she hung in the sitting room.

“Ya sure do look pretty.” Brittany comes up into the bedroom on Christmas Eve to find you dressed for your evening alone together. “If I’d’ve known ya were gonna dress up, I’d’ve ironed somethin’ else real nice for tonight.”

“I love you just the way you are.” You smile at her in her work trousers and suspenders. “I have to call home before my family goes to Christmas Eve mass, but after that, it’ll just be us until dinner tomorrow.”

“Sure sounds like the most special kind of night to me.” She grins. “Mind if I talk to the little gals?”

“I don’t think they’ll let me off the phone without it.”

You kiss Brittany’s lips, that tender kind of kiss that strives to show her just how much she means to you and you feel her smile into it. Lord Tubbington mewls at your feet and you feel this deep sense of contentment within you. You thought that you might feel a sense of deep sadness at being apart from your family again for Christmas, but it seems to have lessened this year. You’ve settled so very securely into your life with Brittany, you look forward to the holidays with her and though you miss your family terribly, it’s easier to not feel the pain of the distance when you’re in Brittany’s arms.

Together, you go downstairs to the telephone and Brittany sits beside you on the sofa. You hope that someone in the hallway will hear the phone ring, you hope that your family hasn’t left early for mass and you squeeze Brittany’s hand, anxiously awaiting an answer. It’s Robbie Gutierrez, the man about your age who lives on the second floor who answers and you wish him a merry Christmas before you ask him to get your family from their apartment. You hold for several minutes and then you hear the small voices of your sisters clambering to speak with you.

Your mother takes the phone first, and you give her another apology that you didn’t make it home for Christmas. She hushes you and thanks you for the gifts you sent, telling you that she loves you before she passes the phone to your father. When you speak to him, you can hear, even over the phone, how much he’s aged since the war and it saddens you deeply. You wish that he’d been able to stay home, that he hadn’t been injured, that he didn’t have to work with his bad leg. You long to tell him that you helped support the family while he was away and that you could send more money than you do so he could stay home, but you know he’d never allow it. You’re certain that your mother uses what you do send for things for the girls, that he wishes to have nothing to do with it, and so you never mention that you’d use every penny of extra money that you have to help them.

When Mariana takes the phone, you feel your dampened spirits brighten. She speaks of Santa Claus, of the tres leches cake she had after dinner, of the new dress she’s wearing for church and you smile. Brittany leans in against the receiver and she speaks with Mariana and then Carlotta and Concetta just as you do. There’s another pang of missing them, but your mother had promised that she’d call after breakfast in the morning, so you know you’ll get to hear about all of their treasures after Santa Claus comes. Concetta hangs up the phone and you lean a bit into Brittany, smiling into her shoulder, and she kisses the crown of your head.

“Those little girls sure do love ya.”

“I love then too, so much. I want them to have the most magical Christmas.”

“With the gifts ya sent them from Santa, they’re sure to have an even better one than your parents could give them.”

“I worry about my parents quite a bit. My father doesn’t sound well...”

“Do ya need to go spend some time there?”

“I don’t know, I may. He’s such a stubborn man, he refuses the help of anyone who tries to give it to him.”

“I know something about that...” Brittany looks off into the distance and you immediately feel bad.

“Brittany.”

“‘S alright. I’m just missing my Pop a bit more since it’s Christmas.”

“If you’d like, we can go to his grave in the morning, perhaps bring pine branches to commemorate the holiday.”

“I don’t want to depress ya on Christmas.”

“You’re not.” You promise, kissing the back of her hand. “I know that it’s your first Christmas without him and that’s sure to be difficult.”

“I just think of him sittin’ at the Karofskys’ table. It’ll feel awful empty without that. But I’m alright. I don’t mean to feel sad.”

“It’s alright to feel that way, love. You had a big loss this year.”

“Still doesn’t feel quite real.” She shrugs. “But it is.”

“We’ll plan to get up early and care for his grave. When we’re there, I’ll give you a bit of time alone with him.”

“I think I like it better when I have ya by my side. Sure did help when we went down to see Willie.”

“Whatever makes it easier for you, I’ll do.”

“Ya sure are swell.”

“I just love you quite a bit.”

For a long while, you sit quietly until you know that the roast is done and you have potatoes to mash. Brittany follows you into the kitchen and she watches as you make gravy. A Christmas roast was a tradition your mother picked up when she came to America and you’ve carried it on in your own home. Like your sisters had, there will be tres leches cake after your meal and you think that every bit of the work you’ve done throughout the day will be worth it when you get to watch Brittany enjoy Christmas Eve dinner. She’s told you that she never did much for the day, since her father worked and it was difficult for him to put together a meal like this when he came home to two children, so now that you have her, you try to make it special.

She cuts into the roast while you bring potatoes and yeast rolls and vegetables to the table and you smile at how much food there is, even just for the two of you. As little money as your parents had when you were growing up, the Christmas Eve dinner before mass was always an affair and now that you have quite a bit more, you don’t have to worry about where that money will come from. Once you’re both seated, you bow your head to say grace and you ask God silently to pay special attention to Brittany as she suffers through her grief over the next few days.

“This sure is some meal, Santana. I can’t believe ya spent all day in the kitchen.”

“You were quite a bit of help yourself. I appreciated having the company.”

“Wasn’t anythin’ much. Ya did most of the hard stuff. Plus ya made things to bring over to Davey’s tomorrow.”

“I know that Mrs. Karofsky works so hard to put Christmas together, I was just glad that she let me bring something this year.”

“I’m sure Davey’s been tellin’ her all about your cookin’.” Brittany grins.

“No one likes it quite as much as you do, sweetheart.”

“That’s because I get to kiss the cook.”

Dinner is much more joyous than your conversation before it and you linger long after with the champagne you’d bought for the occasion. When your head is a little light from the alcohol and the bubbles, you get to your feet, figuring you ought to start cleaning up before you’re too drunk to do it. Together, you clear the table and though Brittany normally washes the dishes while you dry, her arm makes either impossible so she stands at the sink to keep you company.

When you’re through, you go into the sitting room with refilled glasses of champagne and you curl your legs beneath you on the sofa, even in your dress and stockings and you rest your head on Brittany’s shoulder. She feels so soft and warm beside you with nothing but the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree and you feel such a swell of happiness that it’s hard to contain. Gone are the fears about your father, the worries you and Brittany have had about finances, the whole outside world. It’s just you and Brittany, wrapped up in each other as you sit beside your tree.

When you fall asleep against her shoulder, she gently wakes you and helps you upstairs. You’re so tired that it’s hard to wash up and get into your nightgown, but she helps you as best as she can with one hand and you lean over to kiss her lips. Your bedroom is always cold and you quickly get beneath the quilt, wrapping your legs with Brittany’s and leaning your head back on her shoulder. In the morning, you’ll go to see her father, but just for the evening, the last thing you see before you fall asleep is a soft, contented smile on Brittany’s face.

Brittany isn’t in bed when you wake up on Christmas morning. The bedroom is cold and you feel an emptiness at her absence. You don’t really want to get out of bed and brave the iciness, but you do, sliding into your slippers and robe before you pad downstairs. The kitchen smells like coffee and bacon and when you see Brittany standing at the stove, you come up behind her and stand on your tiptoes to rest your chin on her shoulder. Your arms find a place around her waist and you feel her smile, though you can’t see her face. She’s flipping pancakes in the pan and you smile to yourself at the fact that she woke up to make you breakfast.

“I was supposed to bring ya breakfast in bed.” She laughs.

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I wanted to. Ya cook me breakfast all the time, I thought I’d do somethin’ nice for ya on Christmas.”

“It’s still such a nice thing, even if it’s not in bed.”

“I think ya should go back to bed. Stay warm under the blankets while the house warms up.”

“It is awfully cold this morning.”

“Go. I’ll see ya up there in a few minutes.”

Listening to Brittany’s orders, you go back upstairs and slide your slippers off before crawling under the covers. The bed is still warm from your body and it helps take the chill out from when you went downstairs. You take your book from the nightstand, turning the pages of The House of the Seven Gables while you wait for her to come and soon enough, she’s standing in the doorway holding a tray of food and coffee in one hand. She sits down on her side of the bed and you smile, glad that she brought two plates, glad that she’ll be having breakfast with you in the warmth of your bed.

“My pancakes sure ain’t as good as yours, but I tried real hard.”

“They’re perfect, Brittany. Thank you for this, you always make me feel so cherished.”

“Well I cherish ya. Ya always do so much for me and I wanted to do this for ya in return.”

“It wasn’t too much, with your arm?”

“My arm is gettin’ a whole lot better. I’ll be goin’ back to work just after the new year.”

“Can you promise me that you won’t do something that will get you hurt again?”

“I...Santana, it’s real hard for me to promise that.”

“You’re just as good as those boys, better. You don’t have to prove yourself.”

“I don’t feel like it a lot. I’m not a normal woman and I’m not a man, I’m caught somewhere in between and I’ve just gotta make everyone see that I can do anything they would do.”

“No one should be doing things that would make them get hurt. You told me that Mr. Brewster said as much.”

“I know.” She looks into her lap. “I can promise ya that I’ll try.”

“That’s better than you not promising at all. It terrifies me when you’re sick or hurt, I can only do so much to care for you.”

“Ya sure are good at tendin’ to it though. Ya always know the right thing to do.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt so badly that I won’t. A lot of the boys in my neighborhood worked in construction when I was living back at home and my father saw to some of them with devastating injuries. I couldn’t manage if that was you.”

“I’ll try real hard not to get hurt, but ya know when I go back out on the Alcott...”

“I know.” You suck in a breath, looking her in the eyes. “I know it’s a dangerous job.”

“Just so ya know, I really want to come home to ya every night.”

“I know.”

Together, you finish your breakfast and you go downstairs in your robe to help clean up the kitchen. When the cleanup is through, you go to bathe and you get ready to go with Brittany to her father’s grave. You pull in your dress and warm woolen stockings and she puts a sweater over her trousers to keep warm in the bitter December weather. Because supper is early at the Karofskys’, you pack the things you’re bringing in a basket and you walk down the beach together, holding hands until you can’t anymore.

The cemetery is empty when you get there and Brittany meanders through the graves until she finds the place where her parents are laid to rest. She carefully traces her fingers over the name of the mother she never knew and then she turns up her father’s name, taking a deep, shuddering breath. It’s the first time she’s seen his name inscribed there and you can see the pain of realization on her face. She lays the Christmas wreath that she brought from the house and she kneels down in the snow in front of the stone.

“Pop, it’s me, Brittany. I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit ya, it’s just been real hard without ya. But Santana is takin’ good care of me. Ya know, I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone. She’s here with me now because she wanted to make sure I was okay and because she really became fond of ya while she was takin’ care of ya. It’s the first Christmas that ya aren’t here and I keep thinkin’ about how empty it’s gonna feel around the Karofskys table without ya. We’ve been goin’ there since I was a little girl and it was always the one day ya didn’t have to work. I just wish ya could be here somethin’ fierce. I miss ya a lot Pop, and I’ll try to come visit ya more.”

Tears fill your eyes as you listen to Brittany speak and though she still kneels, you wish you could gather her up in your arms and take away her tears. You have your parents, you don’t know how to feel the kind of grief that she feels and you hope that it’s a long time before you do. But you can almost feel her pain as she kneels there in the icy snow, her heart belongs to you and when it aches, yours aches in return. She finally stands again and she turns to you. You open your arms and she falls into them, big, hiccuping sobs escaping her when she does. Alone in the cemetery, you rub her back, careful of her arm, you kiss the side of her face, you promise her that you’re there, because that’s all you can do.

For a little while longer, you linger in the cemetery. Then, she’s ready to leave and she wipes her face on her coat sleeve before you begin the walk to David’s. You know she doesn’t want to sadden them on such a joyous day and you give her hand a little squeeze before you drop it and just walk side by side over the wooden pathway. On the grey day, Christmas lights illuminate the Karofsky house and Brittany forces a smile onto her face. The door opens and David stands there, a big grin on his face. He lets you in and immediately, you go to the kitchen to help his mother.

You appreciate that Mrs. Karofsky doesn’t usher you out, but she lets you help, taking the dishes you brought while Brittany puts the gifts under the tree. With Mary Ellen, you set the table and then the two of you work side by side with her mother, making sure that everything is ready to go on the table quickly. Smelling like a cigar and a whiskey, Brittany takes her place beside you at the table and you bow your head before you eat, despite the fact that the Karofskys don’t pray before meals.

It’s a beautiful dinner, though you watch every time Brittany looks over to the place where her father sat last year and you long to hold her close to you, to let her know that you’re with her as she mourns. When it comes time for you to go, it’s dark and snowy and you step out into the cold air, looking forward to when you get a bit further down the beach and you can burrow into Brittany’s side for warmth. As soon as she’s able, Brittany opens her good arm to you and you tuck yourself into her side, always feeling so enamored with her when she makes sure you’re warm enough. It seems that you’re always a bit cold and she’s always a bit warm, so she shares her body heat with you and you walk in silence until you arrive at the front of your house.

“Did ya miss out on goin’ to church these last two days?” She asks you, same as she did last Christmas.

“It’s alright, I know it’s difficult for us to make it to the mainland when the ferries run so irregularly. I enjoyed Christmas with the Karofskys and with you.” You smile as she opens the door and you step inside. “Now I’m looking forward to spending the evening curled up beside you.”

“I was thinkin’ I’d make some hot chocolate, if ya’d like that.”

“That sounds nice.”

Because you had agreed not to exchange Christmas gifts, since you know that Brittany is worried about her loss of income, the time you’re to spend together means more than anything else. Uncharacteristic of you, while she makes the hot chocolate, you go upstairs and change into your nightgown and robe, borrowing a pair of her thickest socks to keep your feet warm and you return downstairs to light a fire in the fireplace. Just as you’re settling in on the sofa, she comes back into the sitting room bearing two mugs of hot chocolate. She sets them down on the table and though you assure her that she could go upstairs to change if she’d like, she chooses to stay dressed and she gathers you up in her arms.

“I’ve been lookin’ forward to this all day. I wouldn’t’ve said no to Mrs. Karofsky, but mostly what I wanted this Christmas was just to be with ya.”

“I know you’ve been sad all day today, I wish I knew how to take away your pain.”

“I sure do to. But it’s helpin’, holdin’ ya like this. Ya never change out of your clothes and come back downstairs. I like that ya look all cozy in your nightgown and my socks.”

“I was feeling a bit restricted in my dress and I wanted to be able to be close to you without feeling like I was constricted.” You tell her as Lord Tubbington jumps up on the sofa beside you.

“I wish I could love ya tonight. I wish my arm was better...”

“When your arm is healed, we’ll have all the time in the world.”

“I know, but I miss...” She trails off, looking into your eyes.

“I miss it too, but the most important thing to me is that you heal properly.

“I’m really doin’ everything the doctor said. I need to have full use of it when fishin’ season starts up again. What good’s a captain when she can’t use her arm?”

“I’m sure you’d still be a fine captain without the use of it. You always find a way to make things work.”

“Ya know, so much of who I am is wrapped up in my boat. I just can’t imagine who I’d be without it.”

“I think you’d still make something special of yourself. I imagine you’d find a way to do good on land.”

“I feel like I’m lost a bit since Pop died. If I didn’t have ya lookin’ out for me, I’d probably be driftin’ about aimlessly, tryin’ to find a place where I fit in.”

“I know that it’s been difficult for you, now that a lot of the people on this island treat you differently.”

“I’m just different, that’s who I am. Pop couldn’t raise me to be like a girl because I wanted no part in that. It’s just that without him, people look at me funny when I walk around in my trousers.”

“They shouldn’t. I didn’t know your father when I met you and I thought it was brave of you to do that. It’s hard being a woman, we all have to make our way the best we know how.”

“I think ya might be the only one around who’s ever expressed that it was hard to be a woman.”

“It is. I look at my mother, who works just as hard as my father each day, yet she’s the one who cooks each meal, does the laundry, cleans the apartment and cares for my sisters. I love my father, but I think he might be lost without my mother.”

“I guess it’s different for me, since my Pop did all those things until Willie and I were old enough to help out. I never really saw how men were and how women were.”

“I think that’s what makes you so special. You’re just you.” You tilt your chin up and catch her bottom lip. “I admire you for that.”

“Ya probably are the only one.”

“That’s not true, the boys on your crew respect you like no one else. As far as everyone else goes, they don’t matter.”

“It’s strange, ya know? I never realized that I was lonely until ya came around and I didn’t feel so lonely anymore.”

“I feel the same way, sweetheart. When I was in school, all of the girls were always talking about the boys they were going to marry and I just...didn’t fit in. I’d talk about it too, pretending I was interested in Roderigo Perez or Juan Gutierrez, but the truth was, I didn’t want to marry either of them. I’d imagine that I’d live in my parents’ house forever, helping my mother with the girls until they were grown and then helping them as they aged. There was no one I could talk to that also felt different.”

“I guess I at least had Davey to talk to. I knew he liked boys and I liked girls too for a really long time. Then we found Cherry Grove.”

“I’m sure there are places in the city where the homosexuals go, I just never would have sought that out. I probably really would have been alone forever until you kissed me that night.”

“Do ya know how scared I was? I never kissed a girl outside of Cherry Grove before, it was too dangerous.”

“You kissing me was the scariest thing that ever happened to me...and the best.”

“Do ya still get scared?” She asks you, eyes earnest.

“Not when we’re safe in our house. I do get scared sometimes when we’re out of it. I wonder what people would think, what Mr. Woodhull would do if he found out, if my parents would keep me away from the little girls.”

“I get scared too ya know. Not so much about people finding out, they already think I’m odd, but what would happen if something happened to ya and I was just your landlord.”

“I think everyone knows that you’re more than just my landlord.”

“But even as your best friend. I can’t be your wife out in the world and I wish for that more than anything.”

“I wish for it too. I long to hold your hand so often.”

“Ya have it now.” She squeezes your hand. “At least we have that.”

“This house is the safest place I’ve ever known. It still amazes me every day that you built it for us.”

“I wanted ya to have a place here, I never wanted ya to go.”

“Even when I thought I might go back to the city, it was never because I didn’t love you, it was because I didn’t know how I could. Here, I’ve figured it out. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Ya sure do talk real sweet sometimes.”

You snuggle further into her side and she hands you your mug of hot chocolate, now that it’s cooled a bit. Under the lights of the Christmas tree, you sip it quietly, just appreciating her presence as you do. She strokes your hair, she kisses your forehead and you realize that though you’d forgone gifts this year, this moment is the perfect one. Before you realize it, you’ve fallen asleep against her body and you’re not sure how much time has passed before she wakes you up.

“If I had both arms, I’d’ve carried ya up to bed so I didn’t have to disturb your rest.”

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”

“It’s alright, ya were tired. We ought to go up to bed.”

“Brittany?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“I love ya too.”

#brittana #fire island AU #starlight!verse #1940s fire island

35 notes · View notes

kandisaurus · 3 years

Text

Moving In With My Man (and How I Survived It)

I've lived on my own now for a solid number of years, even when living with a partner before it was always me paying rent and all the bills. I was, unfortunately, the only bread winner. So after I dug my way out of that mess and met my current boyfriend, the conversation turned to living together after a while. I was happy with the idea, eager to move forward with our life together and solidify things between us even more. When he had access to a vehicle, he'd come over and spend every weekend with me at my apartment. I didn't want to feel like I was just a place away from his mom's house (he'd fallen on hard luck with a car crash and debt forced him back there for a bit), so as soon as I'd been shown that I wasn't just a home away from home I was satisfied. This visitation ritual continued for almost a year before he'd been given an opportunity at transportation via a kind of lease. As soon as he got that news, we started moving forward with our plans. The moving bit wasn't difficult, as he didn't have too terribly much to move. it took a few trips over the course of a few weeks to scoot everything upstairs in our home, but we got it done! Now I guess this is where I can say my stubborn side started getting antsy. I'm a particular person when it comes to things like cleanliness and clutter. While my boyfriend is certainly not a slob by any means, there was a "guy" aspect to the way he did things. In my mind, the way he did things just didn't make sense. When he lived on his own, he told me he used to just leave his clean clothes in the dryer and take them out as he needed them. The dresser he reserved as extra space for video games and dvds. I'm so glad I'm in his life now. I've been worried that me being too particular about these little-but-not-so-little things would eventually make him resent me and want freedom to be as laid back about his cleaning strategies as he wanted. From grumbling while I pick up his clothes that he sheds as soon as he's in the door, to taking his used washcloth out of the shower so I can bathe, to picking up dishes or banana peels left on my coffee table (to fussing at him not to DARE put his feet on the coffee table!!!), I started to feel more like his mom than I did his girlfriend. This, ladies and gentlemen, is where the lesson comes in. I had conversations with him regarding my maid status in the household. I worried endlessly about his view of me. I wanted to feel wanted and sexually attractive, and how was I supposed to feel like that if I feel like his mother? I no longer wanted him to hold the privilege of "guest" status in the home. He is now a permanant resident (unless we move) and I wanted to feel like it. In my mind, it just made sense that if you live somewhere you take care of it. Don't wait for me to ask kind of thing. What I had to accept was that some people weren't raised with the same rules and expectations that I was raised with. His own mother even admitted to me once that she'd spoiled him and just expected he'd know how to do all these things when he grew up. Wrong. Truth is, he'd started working on it the moment I brought it up. I just wasn't happy with the resluts, and I like my home cleaned a certain way. So I kind of keep some chores to myself. Not because he's incapable, but because I'm too much of a prude to give up my reputation of OCD cleanliness. He has his own talents in upkeeping the home, and I commed him on that greatly. Plus, he still does laundry for me on the weeks that I'm off, which in itself is a blessing! No couple is perfect, but we can strive for a perfect harmony in the home. We've been living together for about five months now and have found a balance. I'll still pick up his socks and hang up his clothes, but he does so much for me otherwise. AND, best of all, he doesn't make me feel like I should be kissing his ass every time he does a chore. We're partners, and we act like it! I had to learn also that I'm not seen as a mother or maid by him, it was my imagination playing tricks on me out of fear. Besides, I enjoy taking care of my man in little ways like cooking for him. It makes me proud that I satisfy him in many facets of his life, just as he does for me. If you're thinking of moving in with a partner, there's a few things you should cover beforehand. Just about everything fell into place for us because our energies matched so good from day one. While typically I'd wait until after the six month mark to move in together, where are your individual deadlines envisioned? Do one of you go to school or want to go back to school? Things like finances and bills, chores, cooking, grocery shopping, and other expectations should be discussed. Do you plan on marrying this person? Have you two talked about the BIG stuff in marriage like kids and house buying and plans for the future? Things like chores might seem puny next to the "do you want children" talk, but if you planned on never touching dirty dishwater again just because you're adding hands to the house, you might want to talk a little more with your partner. Because it's the little things in the end that make a difference. The actions we take are the choices we make, so just make sure they show that you care and love your better half! P.S. we bought a couch together just recently, one of our first big financial decisions we've made together! Getting to these milestones are what it's all about, but it takes time and practice and the choice to love one another every single day.

#couplesgoals #longterm #relationships #lovestruck #goals

0 notes

betsyhavekost91 · 4 years

Text

“What is the deepest root of your joy: what God gives to you or what God is for you?” -John Piper

Singleness. It isn’t the place in life I expected to be, nor wanted to be, at 29 years old. It is the season I didn’t want to experience long enough to write about. Yet, it is the place God has me.

In college, my golf coach had us set 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals related to golf performance, academics, and our personal lives. My 10-year-plans included being accepted to and graduating from occupational therapy school, working as an occupational therapist, paying off student loans, getting married, buying a home, and having kids. 10 years later, however, the relational aspects aren’t the case, In graduate school, I was the one in my friend group who had a boyfriend when my friends didn’t-- and now I’m the one who is still single while they are married and starting to have kids. God’s plan for my life has not matched the plan or timeline I had anticipated for my life.

However, I can say with certainty that God has used each season-- of singleness, waiting, dating, breakups, heartbreak, unknowns-- to shape me and mold me into who I am today. He has used singleness to push me to depend on His sufficiency and claim truth that a human being cannot satisfy my soul; used dating to challenge me to be myself and not who I think the guy would want me to be, to ask hard questions, and to hold fast to my identity in Him; used breakups to remind me of truth when the devil would speak lies and challenged me to believe that truth rather than simply knowing it in my head. Through it all, God has been faithful.

And if not, He is still good.

I have a sweet friend who had recently started dating, and she said to me, “Betsy, in many ways, I wish this was you instead of me, because I want this for you. But at the same time, that would be me claiming that this is ‘better’ or that the place you are in isn’t ‘good,’ and that isn’t true.”

Those words have stuck with me. Because the truth is: the place I am in is good.

I heard a sermon on Psalm 34 that spoke about disappointment and the goodness of God. It emphasized that our “ultimate good” as humans is to know God most deeply, in the fullest capacity. Nothing surpasses knowing, with greater intimacy, the one who Created my heart, desires, and personality. It emphasized this fact: if knowing God most deeply is my greatest good, then I can trust the circumstances which God ordains will accomplish that purpose. Thus, He is capable of using, and will use, the unique place I am in to show me Himself most intimately, or He wouldn’t keep me here. It is true for singleness, dating, marriage, parenting, grand-parenting, and all the places in-between. I love how Matthew 7:9-11 says “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” God gives good gifts, He doesn’t give stones or snakes, and I can trust that. But I have to keep in mind that my definition of ‘good’ may differ from God’s.

“ God will only give you what you would have asked for if you knew everything He knows.” -Tim Keller

“If God were small enough to be understood, He wouldn’t be big enough to be worshipped.” -Tim Keller

“Your eternity amnesia makes you unrealistically expectant, vulnerable to temptation, all too driven, dependent on people and things that will only disappoint you, and sadly susceptible to doubting the goodness of God. Recognizing the eternity that is to come allows you to be realistic without being hopeless, and hopeful when things around you don’t encourage much hope.” Paul David Tripp

--------------------------------------------------------

How green is your grass?

That same friend also stated how each relationship status- single, dating, or married- each has its own challenges. It made me think of how we always perceive the grass to be greener on the other side. Someone once joked “the grass is just as brown on the other side” and I laughed, but also found it to be true. Each chapter of life has joys and trials, alike.

Marriage is hard because your freedom looks different than it used to look. Your time is invested in pursuing and serving another sinful human. Your finances are not solely at your discretion. Your plans are less spontaneous, as you have to check in with another prior to scheduling. Your family has needs- there is more laundry to be done, more food to be cooked, more schedules to coordinate, more families to celebrate with (and coordinate with) at holidays, more messes to clean, more opinions to consider, more preferences for food or decorating, more hair on a bathroom floor, less closet space, and less flexibility.

Dating is hard because there is no rule book or guide book for it. It may be fun at the beginning, when both parties are smitten, and then come hard conversations. Vulnerability, greater depth, getting to know each other’s friends and families. Unknowns of the future, processing each other’s pasts, and figuring out how to pursue friendships and have time for a relationship. Communicating, insecurity, sorting out feelings from truth, setting boundaries. The pain of breaking up versus the fear of the unknown that comes with continuing to progress forward. The feeling of failure or heartbreak if it doesn’t work out.

Singleness is hard because it can feel endless or lonely or less than. You may attend bridal shower after baby shower after engagement party to celebrate your friends, all the while feeling forgotten. You commonly see your friends’ time be restructured toward their own family and married friends in a similar stage of life, with less time for you. Options for roommates dwindle. Achievements or celebrations make you wish you had someone to celebrate with. Loss or grief makes you wish you had someone to cry with.

Yet, each season is also beautiful. And as 1 Corinthians 7:7 states, both singleness and marriage are a gift. I’m far from an expert on dating and obviously not married, but I feel like 29.4 years single has taught me a few things about singleness.

The gift of singleness.

Singleness is beautiful because it allows for so much freedom. Doesn’t everyone tell you this? But it’s so true. I can go to bed whenever I want and let my alarm run because it doesn’t bother someone else. I can eat what I want to eat for dinner, without considering if someone else will love it, and I can eat leftovers all week or try new recipes without having to take another’s thoughts into account. I can spend my money how and where I feel called to spend it, without considering another’s opinion. I can say “sure!” to spontaneous plans without asking if it works in the schedule. I can go on hiking trips or go see friends without coordinating childcare or meals while I’m gone. I can show up for friends who need a friend-- easily changing plans on a whim. I can invest deeply in my relationship with God, because my mornings aren’t interrupted by a baby’s cries or need to be fed and changed. I only have to get myself ready for the day. I can even pee uninterrupted (unless I’m babysitting my niece :))!

God has taught me a lot in singleness, and these are 10 of the things I want myself to remember:

1. Singleness is hard and contentment is a process (and it is okay to admit it is hard).

I used to feel weak if I admitted it was hard. I used to think contentment in singleness had a “peak” I could achieve, in which I’d be “good to go” in terms of contentment and then be able coast forward, or that God would bring a dude into my path once I reached that point. Now, I realize that my contentment in singleness ebbs and flows, and that the ebb and flow keeps me coming back to Jesus again and again. I’ve also learned contentment is not found in seeking contentment itself; instead, seeking to know Jesus more deeply brings about greater contentment. Now, I also understand it is okay to be honest when singleness is a struggle- it is called vulnerability- but it is also good not to dwell there.

I have been encouraged by Paul’s words in Philippians 4:

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

Contentment might not be a place we will ever “arrive” or fully achieve, however, it can be learned. Developed. Deepened. And how did Paul say he learned contentment in his life? By walking through the good stuff and the hard stuff, the full and the lack-- and by experiencing the strength and sufficiency of God in all the places in-between. And let’s be honest, contentment is something I struggle with in most aspects of life, not only in singleness, so pursuing Jesus is essential.

“If you give your heart to seeking satisfaction, satisfaction will be the one thing you’ll never find. Your heart will never be satisfied in things. No, your heart will be satisfied only in the Giver of the things. If you seek happiness, happiness will elude you. The earthly glories that God created are to be like signposts that point us to the one glory that will ever satisfy our hearts. If you seek satisfaction, satisfaction will escape your grasp. But if you seek God, rest in his presence and grace, and put your heart in his most capable hands, he will satisfy your heart as nothing else can. You were made for him.” -Paul David Tripp

2. There is grief in singleness (and it is okay to grieve in singleness).

This past year, I realized that I grieved in my singleness and in the things I have hoped for which haven’t become my reality. Grieving that a husband won’t get to meet my Grandma Bonnie or Grandpa Bumper, won’t see my sweet nieces at this stage of life, and won’t experience accomplishments or trials with me.

I’ve realized there is also grieving in feeling left behind or left out. The reality is, most people do get married-- and by this point in my life, many of my friends from college, classmates from occupational therapy school, coworkers, and community are married. Marriage is beautiful, but it affects spontaneity and flexibility. Married people trend toward spending time with other couples, then typically move toward having children- so their time is more restricted, and their friend groups naturally shift toward those in similar life stages. Being a part of their lives certainly does not cease, but it usually does take more creativity and intentionality. It often involves being the initiator, jumping into their day-to-day by bringing food, fitting into their schedule, or traveling to them. It isn’t wrong, it’s just different (and ps. it’s worth it to jump into their lives).

Even this week, I had to admit grief was present and process it with God. God wasn’t, and He isn’t, surprised by it. Yet, glossing over it and not addressing it would not have helped me process disappointment and claim God’s faithfulness and goodness amidst it. Spend some time reading David’s words in the Psalms-- He processes grief by acknowledging it, bringing it before God, and then reorienting his heart toward truth. I love the quote by John Piper, which talks about grieving and moving forward.

“Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God.” -John Piper

3. It is good to guard my heart in singleness (and guarding my heart may look different for me than for you).

If you have been to any talk on relationships, you have likely heard Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

It has seemed almost cliche to me at times, however, God has given a greater understanding of what that looks like practically for me. For me, I am more aware of my singleness, I think more about marriage or meeting my spouse, and I have more difficulty being content in singleness when: I watch chick flicks, listen to music or read novels about love, and talk about singleness often. This list can differ for everyone, and it doesn’t mean that I avoid those things like the black plague; but I do I monitor my intake and know what feeds my soul. I know which things I watch, listen to, and spend time doing serve to reorient my heart toward Christ, His Kingdom, and my purpose on earth- versus what orients me toward myself and my singleness.

My goal is to get my blood pumping and my heart excited about Jesus- and that is impacted by what I read, dwell on, listen to, and spend my free time doing.

“Is it good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night.” -Psalm 92:1-2

“Here is the biblical principle: it is not that I desire only evil things. No, the struggle is more subtle than that. It’s that good things can replace the Giver of those things in my heart. A desire for a good thing becomes a bad thing when that desire becomes a ruling thing. Here is another argument for the depth of our need for grace. We all still have wandering hearts. We are all still tempted to put the gift in the place that the Giver alone should occupy.” -Paul David Tripp

4. It is good to talk to myself (and to question myself).

I love Psalm 116:7, which says “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” In my walk with God, I often have to talk my heart into believing the things I know (in my head) are true. I need to sit down and list tangible evidence of God’s goodness or claim a reality as true, even when it doesn’t feel or seem to be that way.

I read a post last year around Valentine’s Day which has stuck with me. The writer, who was single, said she wrestled with this question: “Could I make it if I’m single at 40? At 50? At 60?” She then shared how she had come to this conclusion (paraphrase by Betsy): I don’t know what my relationship status will be in next year, in 20 years or in 30 years, and I don’t have control over thirty years from now. However, I do have control over today. So, instead, she chose to ask the question: “Do I believe that God is sufficient for me today?” And I ask myself that same question- almost daily, if I’m honest. I can get caught up in God’s timing being far different than my ideal timing, but this question brings me back to trusting God’s goodness today. And then asking the question and choosing to trust again tomorrow. And the next day.

“I cry to you, LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” -Psalm 142:5

“Life is all about to whom and where you look for satisfaction of heart. The shape and direction of your life are determined by what you tell yourself will make you content. Everyone in some way says, ‘If only I had this, I would be content and able to stop looking for the next thing.’ What sits on the other side of your ‘if-only’?” -Paul David Tripp

5. It is good to be intentional in singleness (Show up and sow in season).

Proverbs 20:4 says “A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.” At this point, I don’t know if my season of singleness will be another 3 years, 10 years, or the rest of my earthly existence. But I do know that I want to look back and see evidence of fruit coming from this season, and to hear God say “well done.” Rather than being passive as a sluggard, I want to be actively engaged, eternally-focused, and strategic with my time. I want my season of singleness, regardless of its length, to be devoted to the Lord and focused on knowing Him more deeply and glorifying Him. If I don’t have a vision or a goal, then it is unlikely I will achieve it.

I want to see singleness lead to: maturation in my intimacy with God, deeper belief in and dependence upon Him, investment in friendships and discipleship relationships, use of my time in a way that serves others, development of my spiritual gifts, generosity and stewardship of finances, learning not to keep score, professional development in my career, growth in my ability to cook, awareness of my sin and greater pursuit of holiness, and deeper understanding of God’s love in order to manifest His love to others- by showing up, rejoicing with those who rejoice, and mourning with those who mourn.

“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:34

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.” Acts 20:24

6. Don’t settle: know your non-negotiables (Ps. ‘negotiables’ is not actually a word, according to my spell-check).

I want to finish well in my walk with Christ. I want to maintain a fervor and zeal for knowing Him and loving people as I get older, and I don’t want to fizzle out. Honestly, that is hard enough to do on my own. So I would rather walk alone than walk with someone who has a different end goal or mission in life, who will hold me back or pull me a different direction.

2 Corinthians 6:14 talks of not being unequally yoked and reinforces this idea, but I have also loved the picture of Psalm 92:12-15. I want to still bear fruit in old age and proclaim the Lord’s character- and I want to live life alongside a man who yearns for the same thing. Thankfully, I have examples of couples who live this out so beautifully.

Psalm 92:12-15 “The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, ‘The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.’”

In 6th or 7th grade, I had made a list of what I would look for in a spouse, and the list has evolved through relationships and over time. Now, the list of what I pray for includes qualities which I also pray are true of me, primarily: a soft, teachable, humble heart toward the Lord; a deep love for people, their eternity, and their souls; a desire, knowledge, and love for the Word; like-mindedness and mutual attraction to heart (mission in life), personality, and physical features.

“With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6

7. No human relationship will ever satisfy (and it is good to admit that).

John 6 and Isaiah 55 talk about what satisfies-- and the answer is: Jesus alone. God has made it apparent, this year especially, that no human can ever make me (or you) feel complete, satisfied, fulfilled. Our culture likes to make it seem like people or things can satisfy our hearts, yet it is good to remind myself that is not true. My friends don’t understand me fully, my family doesn’t know fully what I need or want, and a spouse will certainly fail and disappoint me (as I certainly will him). Yet, all of it - beautifully- points back to a faithful, flawless, all-knowing, perfect-in-love, fully understanding, sovereign God. I can’t expect a human being to meet my needs- because that is not what they were created for. (This is one of those truths that I often have to claim and speak to my heart over and over in order to make myself believe it).

Recently, likely as a result of COVID, I felt restless and unsettled- so I tried to figure out what was causing it. And I felt God remind me of what He has taught me before: that restlessness in my soul isn’t actually a bad thing, but instead, it is a good reminder. It reminds me that I will never find complete peace of heart, satisfaction, and fulfillment on this side of eternity- because I was not created for that. I was created for more. For an eternal, life-giving relationship with my Creator, and to enjoy complete fulfillment in Him for eternity. This flawed world and the restlessness it induces serves to remind me that my current reality is not the place I was meant to seek satisfaction- and that I can long for heaven all the more.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

“Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.” Isaiah 55:3 It is in coming to Him and listening to Him that my soul truly finds life.

“Only the gargantuan glory of God can rescue you from all the mini glories of creation that regularly seduce and kidnap your heart.” Paul David Tripp

8. It’s a learning process (I don’t know all there is to know, and God is gracious in it).

I’d like to be able to “master” singleness, but that would lead me to less dependency, more self-sufficiency, and more pride. So God keeps me here- reminding me of things I have already learned and drawing me deeper into them, or teaching me new things, as I have the capacity to handle it. He doesn’t expect me to have it all together, He just wants me to seek Him in it-- as He desires for me to do in every season of life.

The nearness of God is one of my favorite concepts of God, and I love that God is near, is for me, and is faithful- regardless of the season in which I find myself. I love that this reality will not change, even if my relationship status does.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and WILL BE WITH YOU; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

9. Embrace where you are right now (don’t believe the lie that marriage is when “life starts”).

1 Corinthians 7:7 calls both singleness and marriage gifts. Truly, though- what a blessing and gift the little freedoms of singleness can be! So, in addition to desiring to be intentional with my use of singleness, I want to enjoy, embrace, and be thankful for the freedoms it affords. When a friend needs me to show up, I want to be there. When an adventure is on the docket, I want to go for it. When I have the opportunity to buy a house, I want to act upon it. With freedom also comes the need for wisdom, but I want to live in light of the blessing it is to use my time, energy, finances, and talents right now.

I don’t want to wait around “for my life to start” if or when I have a spouse, because my life has already started. The Bible doesn’t put restrictions on my life being valuable or purposeful if I’m married or if I have children. I mean, Jesus, Himself, was single. And He was perfect, God in human form. Thus, singleness does not make me “incomplete” or “lacking” in any way, otherwise Jesus Himself would have been incomplete or lacking. Paul was also single- and look at how greatly God used him for the advancement of the Gospel. My perspective can become far too narrow, far too easily. My purpose is for Jesus to be glorified in my life here on earth- and He is able to do that in any and every season of my life. So I want to be willing and available now. My life is not about marriage, it’s about living for Jesus in the place He has me.

“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in spirit, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2-3

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” -Psalm 90:12

10. Don’t compare your story to everyone else’s (because it isn’t supposed to be like everyone else’s).

It’s far easier said than done. I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart like my sister did and didn’t meet my husband during college like my friend did. My story is unique, as is yours, and God desires for that to be the case. It’s a lot harder to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn when my heart is comparing to another or envious of another. So name the things you are thankful for, admit your life isn’t the same as someone else’s, and live your own story.

I am also not the only one who doesn’t have a spouse and is experiencing singleness. My grandpa Milt and grandma Skeet have both lost their spouses, as have many of my patients. There are single moms and dads. There are military spouses who are doing life on their own as their loved ones are deployed. And so many others who are doing life without a spouse. It’s a lot easier to throw a pity party for myself when I convince myself I am the only one experiencing singleness-- and the truth is, I am not.

“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.” Acts 17:26-27

My life isn’t a surprise to God- He is well aware of my story.

Wise words from a friend, and words from a truth-filled song:

Singleness doesn’t require a special calling. It doesn’t hinder our ability to do ministry, not disqualify us from ministry. The church should be a mix of single and married people, and we all have something to share with each other.” -Salma Sulaiman

“All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.”

0 notes

dephicient · 7 years

Text

Character Questionnaire

Here is a detailed character meme to fill in! (If you’re stuck on some of the questions, check the prompts here.)

Full name

Thaladren Blighthollow

Preferred name/nickname

Pref. nothing - Thal and Dren are nickname-able but he’s not really feelin that

Generally referred to as

Thaladren

Appearance.

FACECLAIM: n/a SEX: male HEIGHT: 5′5 WEIGHT: suuuuuuuuper light BUILD: Dead - he’s a Death Knight and is medically dead, so he’s very very gaunt with little to none muscle. HAIR: Long hair - white - usually fashioned into a tight ponytail. SKIN: Whiteish-yellow, as he is dead. Dry. Although he is dead, the skin is not in horrible rotting condition. (still some patches here and there tho) EYES: ghastly DK blue NOSE: his nose is fairly large and hooked, big ol’ strong bird nose SCARS: everywhere. there aren’t any that are especially jarring, but there are many light engravings into his skin of battle scars and just the negative effects of being dead. his face has notable scaring around the lips. CLOTHES: he is not often seen out of plate-gear, but when so, it’s very plain and dark, lacking a lot of characteristic

Speech.

ACCENT: thalassian, whatever that is VERBAL TICKS: the way he speaks has a certain tone deaf drawl to it. not necessarily apathetic, but almost empty. there isn’t a lot of emphasis on his words anymore ARTICULATION: he tends to articulate things poorly EDUCATION: he has good education and is fairly smart, so he will use long words/etc when applicable. LAUGHTER: when he laughs, it’s usually just a scoff. tho if he finds something truly comedic, it comes off more as a snort and he gets kinda embarrassed. rare occasion, super rare

Mannerisms.

FACE: he’s not that expressive past showing disgust and disdain HANDS: he gestures frequently POSTURE: slumpy PERSONAL SPACE: give it

Health:

SLEEP: sleeping isn’t necessary by any means but he still occasionally finds himself knocked the fuck out ODOUR: smells like nothing in particular. NARCOTICS: too many. he’s apathetic about the whole undeath sort of thing and being alive, so drugs fill that void of sorts. pretty productive ADDICTIONS: ^ INJURIES: probably has at least a couple injuries somewhere. gauze in numerous places

Personal.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: introverted - though he was a bit more extroverted alive. not exponentially tho OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: p e s s i m i s t SEXUALITY: whatever ROMANTIC: not very romantic at all - more keen to flings and the like MEMORY: forgetful af GOALS: not really INSECURITIES: has more insecurities than he would like. tries his damndest to ignore them, and that can only work for soooo long. ACHIEVEMENTS: he’s pretty good at engineering ANXIETY: insecurities ^ SELF-HELP: drugs COMFORTS: solitude or someone who knows how to shut the fuck up BAD HABITS: drugs

The Past.

PARENTS/GUARDIANS: average relationship SCHOOL: not a whole lot. paladin school? ADOLESCENCE: [How did puberty go? Was it a hard change? What was particularly hard (or easy) about it?] LEAVING HOME: [What was it like for them leaving home for the first time? What prompted them to move out of the home they grew up in?] FURTHER EDUCATION: [Did they go to college? University? What did they study, and how well did they do?] FIRST JOB: [What was their first job? Did they enjoy it?] LIFE EVENTS: dying and being forced to live is pretty traumatic WORST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: being ‘resurrected’ BEST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: [What happened?] LESSONS: [What are the most important things they have learned through experience?] LOOKING BACK: he woulda loved his fiancee more :(

Relationships.

FAMILY: big ol happy death knight family FRIENDSHIPS: not a whole lot? more like acquaintances though there are a couple select people that he doesn’t mind hanging around FRIENDS IN NEED: he’s so shitty at helping people in trouble like, patpat on the back and stares off into the distance NEEDING A FRIEND: he deals with everything on his own and would probably rather explode than ask for help ANNOYANCES: voices it ROMANCE: he doesn’t know if his fiancee is alive or not but she wouldn’t want to love him anyway cos he dead af fam MARITAL PROBLEMS: [How do they deal with problems in their love life? Do they talk it through with their partner? Or do they bury their head in the sand?] ADVERSARIES: [What would turn them off a friendship or romance?] ENEMIES: cowardice, flamboyance, dodgeyness, and other traits can put them on thal’s bad list STRANGERS: doesn’t care about strangers, might not consider their existence FUN STUFF: drugs DATING: [What kind of things to they like doing with a romantic partner?] BEST FRIEND: [If applicable - who do they consider their best friend?] LOVE: :( WORST ENEMY: the living RESPECT: [Do they respect their enemies, even if they don’t like them? Is there anyone they disrespect? Why?]

Interactions.

MINGLING: he doesn’t mingle that well and doesn’t care COMFORT LEVELS: usually it’s apathetic within comfort but if the people are extra... extra? he gets uncomfortable and will probably try to shy away. especially if they’re like, happy PHYSICAL: no touchie GROUPS: acherus has big groups but that’s rather military-based in purpose, so socially he prefers small groups OPENNESS: no GENEROSITY: not really JEALOUSY: he CAN become a jealous person despite apathy, which is just petty. TEMPER: he does have a temper EMPATHY: no AFFECTION: not really DISTASTE: obv ETIQUETTE: acherus has negative social norms, it’s just living (unliving) RESPONSIBILITY: he is responsible for what he does mostly and owns up to them, but largely thinks nothing he does is wrong SELF ESTEEM: he gets kinda pushed around due to apathy CONFIDENCE: surprisingly kinda low but shh don’t tell anyone HONESTY: yes very LEADER OR FOLLOWER: he’s a follower but will take initiative if necessary PARTY TRICKS: being dead PRAISE: doesn’t really like praise at all, especially from strangers FAILURES: nawh CRITICISM: he does not take criticism well - he’s never wrong! INSULTS: fight EMBARRASSMENT: he CAN get embarrassed but does his best to not show anything FLIRTING: if it’s anything, it’s probably sarcastically playful ATTENTION SPAN: lacks it SITUATIONS: really bad at dealing with people being upset / etc.

Life.

CAREER: [Do they have a career? Are they good at it and do they like it?] PROMOTION: [Are they hoping to advance their career?] BOSS: [Do they have a good relationship with their boss?] DUTY: [What kind of responsibilities do they have?] TECH: [Are they good with modern technology or do they prefer not to tough a computer?] POLITICS: he’s political in the way that advocates for death knights COMBAT SKILLS: yes HOME: messsyyyyyyyyyy DAILY LIFE: dull and dead INDEPENDENCE: ya COOKING: definitely not. not even alive BUILDING: [Can they put together an item of furniture or do basic DIY?] CLEANING: god no SHOPPING: [Do they like to shop? Or do they prefer to only go to the store when absolutely necessary? Are they prone to impulsive buying or do they shop sensibly?] DRIVING: [Can they drive, or operate any vehicle?]

FINANCES: [Are they in a good position financially? Are they good at taking care of their bank account? Do they usually pay their bills on time?] MARRIAGE: :( KIDS: :I PETS: dead things DEPENDANTS: [Do they have anyone to look after, such as an elderly relative or a sick friend?] LAW: fuck the police COURT: [Have they ever been in court? Why? And what was the verdict?] PRISON: [Have they ever been in prison?] TRAVELLING: [Have they ever been on holiday, or would they like to?] MEDICAL: [Do they go to the doctor/dentist when they need to? Or are they afraid of going to see the doctor?] ILLNESS: [Do they have any mental illnesses that affect the way they live their life?] WORRIES: he’s more of an anxious person than it would be anticipated PEACE: [Do they like peace and quiet? Or do they prefer always to listen to the radio or playing their favourite songs?] PARTYING: drug HOBBIES: drug

#this is memey #wyrmrest accord

2 notes · View notes

labellerose-acheron · 7 years

Photo

Belle Rose Beauton -- Character Sheet

and the heart is hard to translate / it has a language of it's own / it talks in tongues and quiet sighs / and prayers and proclamations in the grand days / of great men and the smallest of gestures / in short shallow gasps

but with all my education / i can't seem to commend it / and the words are all escaping me / and coming back all damaged / and I would put them back in poetry if i only knew how, i can't seem to understand it

Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — May 6, 1993 Zodiac Sign — Taurus MBTI — ISFJ Enneagram — 5, the Investigator Temperament — Phlegmatic Hogwarts House — Ravenpuff Moral Alignment — Neutral Good Primary Vice — Envy Primary Virtue — Kindness Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Charisse Beauton (nee Dubois) Father — Maurice Beauton Mother’s Occupation — famous ballet dancer Father’s Occupation — inventor/clock worker Family Finances — lower middle class, verging on poor Birth Order — only child Brothers — none Sisters — none Other Close Family — none Best Friend — Persephone Acheron (deceased), Hades Acheron Other Friends — Haku (deceased), Howl Pendragon Enemies — Yubaba Ono (deceased), Gaston La Beau Pets — Philippe, palomino percheron, 16 birthday present. He is 10 (b-day 2007). Vincent, black kitten, almost two. Baskerville, Black Shuck, and Bearer of Death, hellhounds. Home Life During Childhood — Happy, until her mother died. Her father fell heavily into depression, so Belle pretty much raised herself. Town or City Name(s) — Swynlake, England What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — The same as it does now, for the most part. Floral wallpaper (white with light blue flowers), blue bedsheets, lots and lots of books. She has a window seat that looks out over her back garden and the forest beyond. Any Sports or Clubs — Nope. Favorite Toy or Game — Books, always. Though, she loves puzzles and taught herself to play chess (she used to play against herself to learn, isn’t that sad?) Schooling — Secondary education only. Favorite Subject — ??? All of them?? Maybe literature or history. Popular or Loner — Loner. She was popular with the boys, but it made her uncomfortable. Important Experiences or Events — Her mother’s death, her father leaving her. Health Problems — None. Culture — Smalltown English, Magick-friendly upbringing, French (but not much.) Nationality — French (mother) and English (father); born in France but raised in England. Religion and beliefs — She didn’t grow up religious, but she does believe things happen for a reason, that there is some Greater Purpose.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim — Emilia Clarke Complexion — perfect porcelain. She’s that bitch in high school who never had breakouts, but also wouldn’t care if she HAD basically she does not deserve her perfect skin. Hair Colour — Brown Eye Colour — Blue (with a golden ring around the pupils) Height — 5’2 Build — Belle is smol, kind of plump--definitely not skinny by any means, curvy. Tattoos — none but not particularly opposed Piercings — ear piercings Common Hairstyle — ponytail, belle almost always has her hair up, it is much more rare to see it down, though she usually has a couple strands that hang around her face because she wears the same ponytail for like two days straight sometimes and it just is a mess. Clothing Style — conservative, belle always wears her blouses buttoned up and doesn’t wear sheer clothing often. She usually wears skirts/dresses unless she’s riding or just having finished riding. Mannerisms — she plays with her hair a lot, tucks pieces behind her ears. She also folds her hands in front of her and fiddles with them if she is feeling especially nervous, but when she’s focused she can become super duper still to almost an uncanny level. Also, she bites her lips a lot. Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Nope! She’ll get the occasional sniffly cold, but that’s about it. And she absolutely loathes being sick. Physical Ailments — None. Neurological Conditions — Anxiety, but it’s pretty manageable since she’s generally a rational person. She can logic her way out of a lot of her triggers. Allergies — none Grooming Habits — Belle doesn’t necessarily have bad grooming habits, but she definitely isn’t particularly concerned with being clean all the time. After she goes riding she’ll hang around in her dirty clothes and it doesn’t bother her. Sometimes she skips a day showering, eh whatever. She’ll wear the same sweater like two weeks straight and not even notice. Sleeping Habits — Belle is a light sleeper but it is easy for her to fall asleep, as long as she’s comfortable. In strange places it could take her a while because she’s not used to it. She sleeps curled up in a little ball on her side usually. Eating Habits — Belle loves fruit, especially apples. She’ll normally have an apple for breakfast that she eats as she walks to work, makes herself salad or a sandwich for lunch (sometimes spoils herself with Hatter’s). And always cooks dinner. She’s a by-proxy vegetarian. She’ll eat meat but since Hades is a vegetarian she’s kind of phased it out of her diet. Exercise Habits — Goes horse riding almost every afternoon without fail (fight me this is 100% exercise) and she walks to and from work 6 days a week. Emotional Stability — 7 out of 10. Belle has her moments and she’s not entirely secure, but on the day to day she’s very good at taking things as they come and going with the flow, even if it upsets her later. There are very few things that trigger an extreme emotional response from her. Sociability — Belle can be quite friendly! The only times she really withdraws are if people are awkward/mean/standoffish. Then she has to analyze everything she says. It’s less shyness than a worry of saying something wrong, which is why when she’s comfortable with someone she will definitely chat their ear off. Body Temperature — Always cold. It’s a good thing she’s got a furnace for a boyfriend. Addictions — none Drug Use — never has, probably never will Alcohol Use — very occasionally; she’s only been truly drunk like 2 or 3 times in her life

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — not thinking she’s good enough, also bites at her nails sometimes, also is kind of absent-minded, she leaves dirty dishes in the sink. Good Habits — very caring, always looking after everyone. Best Characteristic — compassion Worst Characteristic — letting people walk all over her in order to be nice Worst Memory — oh gosh there are so many lmao uhh probably when Persephone died (the first time) Best Memory — the beach with Hades Proud of — her shoppe, her riding skills, her intelligence Embarrassed by — oh gosh lots of things but nothing like super concrete? Everything depends on the situation Driving Style — doesn’t drive, would like to learn though Strong Points — her compassion, her tenderness, her somewhat uncompromising nature Temperament — generally mild tempered, unless you rile her up and then watch out Attitude — she can be a little snobbish, but not on purpose Weakness — easily taken advantage of due to her trusting nature Fears — people leaving her, being useless; otherwise she’s pretty brave in the face of things Phobias — doesn’t have any, really. Secrets — uhhh her boyfriend is lord of the dead? Uhhh Belle doesn’t really have concrete secrets, but she doesn’t share her life with many people. Regrets — Letting Persephone die, not going with Hades when he exorcised Cassandra, not getting to say goodbye to her father. Feels Vulnerable When — she is alone Pet Peeves — people telling her what to do Motivation — to prove to people that she’s not useless Short Term Goals and Hopes — to be fuckin’ happy Long Term Goals and Hopes — she does want to travel eventually, and go back to school Sexuality — Belle is probably on the grey-ace scale, she’s not entirely interested in sex, though she does enjoy it when she has it. She’s definitely demisexual, and straight like 95% Day or Night Person — Day, but she’s become more of a night person Introvert or Extrovert — Introverted, unless you know her well, and then she’ll talk your ear off Optimist or Pessimist — Oh, definitely an optimist, it’s very hard to get her to feel defeated

Likes and Styles:

Music — Belle likes classical stuff, she doesn’t listen to a lot of music, but she’d probably like acoustic stuff more than anything else Books — lol im not even gonna start Magazines — pfft magazines, you mean fake books? Kidding, she likes things like the Times and National Geographic. Things that keep her plugged into the world. She has no use of tabloids Foods — Apples! Those are her favorites, but she loves fruits in general, and vegetables--she eats a good deal of salads. Drinks — Belle likes hot water with a little bit of lemon and honey, or tea, or water with a bit of lemon, she’s not a fan of sugary drinks, though she takes her tea with a bit of cream and one spoonful of sugar Animals — her favorite are horses, but Belle likes all animals Sports — Horse riding! Honestly, I think she’d have fun kicking a football around or going swimming Social Issues — Belle is extremely liberal, her motto is “as long as you’re not hurting anyone you can do whatever the hell you bloody feel like and no one should be able to tell you no.” Favorite Saying — “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, cliche, but so true for Belle Color — Blue! Jewelry — She has her mother’s costume jewelry that she wears to parties, otherwise she wears simple pearl earrings on the day to day and maybe a necklace (she has a lovely cameo necklace that she wears with relative frequency). Games — Loves chess and crosswords and things like that Websites — Pfft, she’s not a big internet person TV Shows — Doesn’t watch TV Movies — Doesn’t watch movies either Greatest Want — to be needed Greatest Need — to become confident

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — the house that her father left her; it’s a three bedroom cottage in the southwest side of Swynlake. She’s got a few acres of land too on which she has a little stable and a field for Phillipe. There is a lovely, overgrown garden in the backyard Household furnishings — Old, but not entirely outdated, she’s just never updated them. The floor is warped and the chairs in the dining room are rickety, but it’s cozy, even if everything is mismatched. There are clocks everywhere--clocks that tell time forwards and backwards and only move every hour and move way too fast. (Only one works properly, it’s in the kitchen, above the sink.) Favorite Possession — Her books. Most Cherished Possession — Pictures of her mother Neighborhood — She doesn’t have any neighbors near enough to see from her house because everyone has plenty of land. Town or City Name — Swynlake, Wiltshire County Details of Town or City — around 6,000 in population; university town; farmlands; magic friendly Married Before — nope! Significant Other Before — nope! Children — Opal Acheron, daughter (FC: Gravity Blue Smith/Mackenzie Foy), born: February 15, 2019 Relationship with Family — estranged from her father, who is her only family Car — none, does philippe count? jk Career — bookshoppe owner Dream Career — something that involves excitement and travel Dream Life — traveling the world and doing good in some capacity Love Life — dating Hades, though she hates the term “dating”; they’re very in love, even if it isn’t always happy or easy Talents or Skills — excellent horse rider, extremely fast reader, super smart, super analytical, a pretty good nurse, tbh Intelligence Level — very intelligent, almost to the point of accidental snobbishness Finances — she’s got like 5,000 to her name, make of that what you will.

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — none Past Lovers — none, though many people tried Biggest Mistakes — not speaking out more Biggest Achievements — she says none lol

#character sheet #about #inspiration #these keep getting longer #bc i keep ADDING CATEGORIES #i need to chill #also i scREAM about my fc on the daily #ugh my lil honey #i love my belle y'all

13 notes · View notes

randomoranges · 6 years

Text

The One and Only Full and Updated Biography of Étienne M. Maisonneuve

Étienne Marie Maisonneuve [he/eventually they]

Now under a cut - and with pictures! - because the post is Long

- Born May 17th 1642 as Montréal; existed before that under different names.

Physical Appearance :

5’ 7.

Of stocky build/pudgy. His skin is darker than Qc City and co.

Of Iroquois and European blood.

His weight will vary based on his mood – was at his thinnest early 70s through the 80s. Thin = not doing so well mentally. Fuller = enjoying life more.

Has curly short dark-brown hair. Curly hair started appearing towards the end of the 18th century. *As of 2020 he’s been letting his hair grow out. In the 1970′s he had really long hair. Cut it back very short in 1980. In the 2000s, it would still be short, but not as short. He does actually like the way his hair looks.

Green-brown eyes; his eyes are usually greener, the brown comes through in darker light.

Has glasses that no one really knows if they’re a fashion statement or if he actually needs them to see.

Has 6 known tattoos.

Clean-cut/Doesn’t like having a beard. The only exception being playoffs.

Is ambidextrous

Family Relations

Has two older brothers; Qc City and Trois-Rivières. The baby of the trio and the spoilt one. Still thinks he's the "most important" of the 3.

Has strained relations with Québec City [Samuel] but is closer to Trois-Rivières [Jacques]

Is closest to Élyse, his twin sister [Anglo MTL] He is the older twin.

Does not like Toronto. Not because of the hockey rivalry, but because of what happened in the 70s. Has kept and nurtured this grudge over the years.

Can speak English better than his two brothers.

Historical Stuff. Kinda.

Was in a bad place during the 70s. Hung out with the not-so-good-crowd of the city. Fluctuated through spectacular highs and lows.

The late 70’s in MTL were the hip place to be for disco.

Expo 67 put him on the map. The extent of the city’s/mayor’s motivation to get the project to work was amazing.

Historically the commercial capital of Canada. Surpassed by Toronto in the 70s.

Important centre of commerce, aerospace, finance, pharmaceuticals, technology, design, education, culture, tourism, gaming, film and world affairs.

HQ of the International Civil Aviation Organisation.

One of three places that is home to organisations of the UN.

Named UNESCO City of Design.

Way back when was an important trading spot between the Native Communities and the Europeans.

Used to be the meeting hub for Native communities back in the day.

Food Stuff

Big on food. Giant foodie. Likes to try all the unique and various different restaurants of his city.

Doesn’t go to “commercial restaurants”.(Tim Hortons, Starbucks, Subway...)

Will actually make an exception for chains that were started in Montreal. (David’s Tea, Squish, Cacao 70, Cora...)

Into local and organic stuff.

Also poutine is divine food.

Mocked his sister when she started raving about bagels, when he later discovered St-Viateur when they opened up, he swore fealty to them forever – likes to conveniently forget it was his sister who found bagels first. Poppy is the true way to go.

Can’t cook. Will eat out and order in a lot. *Has found alternate ways of cooking. Can use “old fashioned ways of cooking (fire, bbq, etc.) The stove is his true nemesis.

Could eat a smoked-meat every day if he could.

Allergic to pineapple.

Enjoys beer more than wine.

His biggest guilty pleasure is a chicken breast meal with the traditional coleslaw from St-Hubert (which was founded in 1951, on St-Hubert street) - in his opinion, it is the bestest chicken ever. He and Élyse will usually have that when they eat together.

City Things

The metro is the bane of his existence and his pride is the metro. Does not have a car and he bikes/buses/metros everywhere.

Doesn’t drive. Doesn’t have a license.

Love/hate relationship with the Olympic Stadium

Big on the whole urban thing. Urban living spaces are a way of life.

Has a festival for everything.

Loves summer – it’s when he feels most alive.

As much as Grand Prix/Formula1 brings in a lot of money, it is also when there is a hike in prostitution, especially juvenile prostitution, something that never sat well with him.

Personal Stuff

Will always have something Habs on him. (A hat, a scarf, a jersey, socks, a pin on his bag, etc.) Sometimes it’s discreet, other times it’s excessive. If it’s the off-season it’s more discreet.

Hockey is very important to him – represents more than just a sport.

Has season tickets to the Habs.

Is a tactile person/Llkes being physically close to the people he cares about – physical contact is his thing

Tries too hard at everything. The guy with the good ideas that get badly executed.

Tries to be many things and absorb all cultures but doesn’t always succeed.

Open minded.

Fashion forward and trendy.

Supports local shops.

Borderline hipster.

Tries to be sophisticated and sometimes fails epically at it.

Big on jazz.

Likes to listen to jazz all the time.

Wants everyone to love him and stay at his place.

Very into modern art and local culture.

Likes to paint.

Is close to Ottawa [Emma]

Given the fact that he likes to party and being in big social circles, is surprisingly only close to 3-4 people. Doesn’t open up to people easily.

Smokes too much for his own good

Always 25 cents short

Goes through some spectacular lows every now and again.

Intelligent man who acts stupid/doesn’t let others know he’s intelligent.

Sexual preferences and relationship things

Really enjoys sex. He finds it fun.

Pansexual. [note: his pansexuality has nothing to do with his enjoyment of sex. He could have been heterosexual and still would have enjoyed sex a lot.]

Demi-romantic.

Is interested in anyone who is interested in him

Likes to try new things as well

Is afraid of being abandoned and being alone/people finding out about his flaws.

Therefore does not do relationships for those same reasons. Even though it has backfired spectacularly on him

Has fallen in love exactly 5 times.

Job Things

Teaches a theology class part time at both UDeM and McGill.

Can go off on a tangent about anything related to religion for HOURS.

Equally teaches a “sports and religion” class at the two universities mentioned above

Works part time in an art gallery he curates.

Doesn’t enjoy the city meet-ups for work.

If he had a choice, he would work in his gallery full-time

Language & Identity

Has lots of torn feelings about his Anglo identity.

Will slip into English mode often, much to the annoyance of his more Franco relatives.

But then will have periods of 100% Franco.

Will be a little shit and pretend not to understand English

As much as he’s a Franco Boy through and through, he understands that Not Everyone Speaks French – however will get Annoyed when those who should know French don’t. And will be a little shit about it.

An interesting dichotomy exists within him – although he is of Iroquois and French blood – and his family name is Maisonneuve, The French and Maisonneuve did NOT side with the Iroquois during the wars and the French were ruthless with the Iroquois - his two identities have been a clash since almost day 1.

Photo refs

Circa before J Cartier and crew arrived.

1970s

1976 Olympic uniform [with women’s shirt]

2000s

2020: Hair starts to grow out again.

#pc: montreal #étienne maisonneuve #since this used to be on my old blog #which i accidentally deleted #i finally decided to repost it #voilà

8 notes · View notes

abcdefghijklmnoalphabet · 4 years

Text

Dear Martha,

We haven’t spoken in a while. 26th February, you hurt me so deeply I didn’t know how to feel about it. After all, you’d spent two years of our friendship building me up and telling me that I should accept better from the world around me (professionally, personally), it never once occurred to me that you might be negatively judging me for the things I’ve been through.

I still don’t understand why you felt it necessary to say the things you said, nor why you were so hell-bent on making sure I knew how shit I am with money, or how terrible my family is for taking the money from me. That’s why I didn’t really back down, and kept trying to explain myself. With Violet backing you up, I can see why you felt empowered to let me know every single fault you saw with my situation, but I don’t understand why you refused to see things from my perspective. After all, you’ve never struck me as the kind of person who just trusts one single source of information - but perhaps I’ve had you wrong all these years.

You told me that domestic abuse, physical and mental, is no reason for me and my mum to be in any kind of financial hardship. In fact, you and Violet were very dismissive of the fact that I opened up about my abusive stepfather, and that hurt more than anything else. You see, at the heart of it, I had a shit childhood. Allow me to explain.

At the age of 2, my mum left my dad because he couldn’t care for me properly. He would sooner see me piss myself in the middle of a shop and blame it on my ‘inability to let him know I needed the toilet’, rather than take me to the toilet himself. He was crippled with fear that people would think he was some kind of paedophile, and so he couldn’t take good care of me. My mum met my stepdad, who was more than happy to take me to the toilet, even asked me if I needed to go if he saw a toilet. No fear from him, and I support her choice.

When I was 6 years old, I lost my granddad. He was a constant in my life, and I’m sad I only got six short years with him. He was more of a father figure to me in those six years, even though he wasn’t my mum’s real dad, nor was he my aunties’ real dad. He was my nan’s last relationship. Yet he stepped up to the plate and took care of me even when he was in the final stages of a very aggressive leukaemia. When he died, I was broken and devastated. It then didn’t help that shortly after, aged 7, I had to attend court hearings because my mother and father were battling for custody of me. My mum ultimately won (and likely against your approval used all of her savings paying for legal representation to keep hold of me), but only because my father reliquished any and all care of me to her just two weeks after he’d won. So my granddad died, my father didn’t want me, and my stepfather was regularly at odds with my mum.

What neither of us knew, as I grew older, was that my stepfather was working to back my mother into a corner financially. He saw a strong woman, manager of a banking branch, manager of a team of 12 people, capable of raising a child on her own effectively, and used her. Used her for money while he studied a postgrad degree in computing, stole her car, charmed her incessantly so she’d feel sorry for him and give into him. My mum isn’t stupid - she’s a giving and generous person, even more so if it’ll benefit her children. When he got a decent job, he was happy to buy a house with her and sign her into a joint account with him. He’d slowly ensnared her, used her for her good credit score, taken money from her and backed her into a corner which she didn’t know she was in. Because that’s what sociopaths and narcissists do, Martha. They lure you in, they gain your trust, they methodically break you down, and then they ruin you properly so you rely 100% on them for everything. They make you, then they break you.

He didn’t stop at money. No. He broke a number of family relationships too - he made it uncomfortable for my family to visit, and so they stopped. He made it clear he wasn’t happy, so my mum stopped inviting them so often. He ruined those relationships... and there was fuck all we could do about it, because he was volatile and aggressive and explosive if he was angry. You try living in that situation. It’s hard.

Growing up, I was usually afraid of him. Every single day I’d run back and to towards the window every time I heard a car pass by to check if he’d come home from work early, so I could start cleaning. He wasn’t happy with me unless he came in to me cooking, or cleaning, or ironing clothes, or anything like that. I couldn’t even do homework - I HAD to do chores. If he came in and I wasn’t, that meant the evening was spent with him and my mother screaming at each other because my mum defended me, and he wanted to break our relationship. He tried. Fuck me, he tried to break our relationship. He tried to get her to hate me, to remove our solidarity. But he only succeeded in making our bond closer,and enviable to other families.

He grew physically abusive, too. Borderline with me (he would throw cutlery at me - he once threw a DVD at me because I hadn’t moved it even though it wasn’t mine, it was his). He threw a laptop at my mum during an argument and broke her rib. I was told she’d fallen down the stairs. She was taken to hospital, and she told them she’d fallen down the stairs too. That went on file as possible domestic abuse. I was 8 when that happened. He pushed past her on the stairs one time, too. Lilly saw. Lilly told the school. The school pulled my mum in and asked if they should send social services. He threatened her with knives, too. Always tried to turn it on himself, though - “GO ON THEN, STAB ME! STAB ME, YOU FUCKING BITCH!” he roared one night. That night I had to go get into bed with my sisters and make them laugh and tell them funny stories because they were both shaking in fear. That happened a few times. It happened again when I was 21 and about to leave for Belgium. He roared so hard at my sisters that they clung to me and begged me not to let them get into the car with him. I had to stay between them and a very angry six-foot-tall man. He punched the door downstairs. I had to let them go with him. I was terrified he’d crash with them in the car, he couldn’t calm down. I let them go with him, I nearly threw up. I called him a spineless cunt, and then I did throw up because he came charging back up the stairs and screamed in my face ‘WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!’. I was convinced he was going to punch me, finally. One punch from that man and I’d have been dead. I didn’t want my sisters to go with him, but I was powerless to stop him, and my mum was in work. Do you have any idea how that feels? To be that powerless against someone? To be unable to protect two little lives?

I told you about the bailiff who came to our house. I got my age wrong. I was 12 when that happened, and at the time a 12 year old couldn’t be left in the house on their own. So, if I’d been caught in that house on my own, I’d have been taken into care, as would my sisters. So, when Violet countered that with ‘yes, that’s nothing, our power got turned off for three days’, you can understand why I felt that was a dismissal of something quite serious. See, if I had been taken into care, I wouldn’t be in Brussels. I wouldn’t be okay. My sisters wouldn’t be okay, either. My family would have been torn apart purely because my stepdad got into debt and didn’t tell my mum. That’s not her fault - that’s entirely his fault. He wanted her for himself. One of the things I never mentioned (partly because it’s the darkest thing I’ve ever done to myself), is that aged 13, shortly after the bailiff incident, I grew so tired of the stress that I sat one night, took two full boxes of paracetamol, and wrote out my notes to my few friends and to my mum, explaining that I didn’t want to be a financial burden on them any more. That’s why I want to protect my sisters. I don’t want them to understand things wrong and feel that it’s on them to put things right.

I appreciate that you don’t know how to understand the mentality of a child - you never grew up with two tiny babies in your teenage years, how could you? But I am aware that kids misunderstand things. Ruby, my youngest sister, actively starved herself to fainting in school because she overheard my mum telling me how the child support money barely covered the girls’ school food accounts (while we were planning her financial relief route). She told my mum that her dad was paying for her school food, but in reality she was maybe eating an apple at best. She fainted, Martha, because she was so hungry because she felt bad for spending so much money on her dinner. And no, packed lunches aren’t an option for her - she has to carry everything with her all day, and that equals more than 5kg of stuff in her bag (books, dance class kit, afterschool workout kit, homework books, and a coat). Another load of food would be too much. We know, we’ve thought of it. So you can surely understand why I want to protect my sisters, both of them, from knowing anything about finances. If they want something big for their birthday, we save for it and we get it for them because they ask for nothing all year. They know we have little, and they get very little. But I refuse on principle to refuse my sisters a christmas present that costs a lot.

My stepdad tried to force my mum to abort my youngest sister. He didn’t want kids. He wanted my mum for himself, and he wanted the kids out of the way. He never wanted to spend time with us, and when he did, it always ended in a screaming match.

Stepfather aside, I had no respite at school, either. From the relentless ‘walking on eggshells’ I had daily with my only friend in primary school, to the relentless bullying because I was fat/spotty/weird in high school, I never actually got any respite from stress. I was physically attacked walking home from school, and I was spat on one time for being a fat piece of shit cunt who deserved to die. One day I even had a tennis racquet thrown at my face because I was spotty, and the girl who’d stolen it off me got angry that I had to go home and wanted it back. I was always forgotten, left out, and when I was invited to parties I was the butt of the jokes and left out of the in-jokes. I had things planned in front of me, and when I turned up thinking I was invited, I was told I wasn’t, and made to leave just by being ignored.

My only foray into a relationship was with a guy who strung me along for three weeks to as a dare from his friends (who were mutual between us). I waited 2 hours in town for him to get off the bus for our first date, but he never showed up. When he finally answered my calls, he said his granddad had died, and that he couldn’t come. I supported him, or tried to, but the Monday after, he met up with me in college and told me he couldn’t keep up the pretence any more - he wasn’t with me at all, it was a huge joke, but it wasn’t fair at all because I was too nice. He didn’t expect that, because they’d told him I was a complete weirdo and would probably become obsessed with him. When that didn’t happen, and when I was more grateful that he found me attractive... well, he felt bad. And I felt like the biggest twat walking the planet. Since then, I haven’t had a boyfriend. I’m still a virgin, and I can’t imagine that anyone would want to sleep with me, have sex with me, or even would find me attractive. I can’t see myself holding a child of my own, and I can’t see that anyone would want to spend their free time with me. And furthermore, who would WANT to hang around with me? I’m always the weird one. I always will be the weird one. But it’s because I was never allowed to grow fully.

When I moved to university, my first choice was far, far away. I applied to Scottish universities that took at least 4 hours to drive to. My reasoning was firstly to get away from him, but then secondly to get somewhere where my mum and the girls could escape to if he got really bad and they needed to. I lived financially independent of them because I knew my mum would need any and all cash she could get to get out of there if she had to. I had depression at Uni, I was terrified of going out, I couldn’t form good friendships either. I wasn’t a normal human because I’d only ever known stress since I was 2 years old. Obtaining a degree and having minor success as a rower was therefore a huge achievement for me.

So. I understand that you have your way of saving and using your finances, but I have my way too. I have a demand on me to keep my family together. There are so many variables which rely on money for my mum to keep her job and custody of my sisters, and even if that means I have to adjust my own way of life, I will ALWAYS put my family first, because we’ve been through hell and back together. If my mum loses her car, for example, which I pay some towards, then she cannot get to work. She loses her job. Or, she takes a two-hour long busride to work, and leaves my sisters alone in the mornings before school, and in the evenings after school. She would be out of the house for longer than 12 hours. If the school was made aware of that, she’d lose her job. If she loses her job, she can’t pay rent. No rent, no house. No house, the girls have to go and live with their abusive father who has gotten A LOT worse since he lost control of my mum. I don’t think I could live with myself if that happens, so I’d be moving back to the UK to take the first job I could find, and I’d be caring full time for two young children, six months of emergency money or not. My family is my priority. Your family isn’t. I have never judged you for that, and I never would, because I don’t know enough about your life or your background, and it’s not my place to judge. But I will not accept you dismissing my abused past. It’s affected me far more than you could ever know.

In conclusion, I’ve done well to get to where I am. I need to seek therapy for everything that’s happened, but I’ve learned one thing. You don’t care about the things you said to me. You don’t care about the things it triggered within me. You don’t care about the effect it had on me, nor do you care that my response to what you said was to harm myself, to pick at my body and bleed to feel better. I have complex PTSD from years of stress, and I have OCD which is responsible for my picking and my obsessive ‘weird’ nature. You triggered an episode of PTSD in me so bad that I actually reached out and rang for therapy. Poor me, though; I didn’t get a chance to see anyone because the lockdown ruined it all. So, I’ve had to learn to let it go by myself. You’ll always live by your own standards, and in a way I feel sorry for you that you can’t see things from my point of view, more so that you clearly don’t have the level of closeness that I have with my own family. But I don’t judge you for it, because I don’t know them and I don’t really know you that well.

I forgive you for the short-sighted view you have. I think you’re lucky to have gotten far in life without suffering abuse at the hands of family or friends. But I also think you have a lot to learn in the way of being more open-minded and accepting of those who have only known stress and suffering. And I realise now that spending so much time and anger hurting over what you’ve said to me when I trusted you is only hurting me - you don’t care. You’ll continue to live your life as you do, and you won’t change anything whether I hate you or not.

But know that I will never forget what you said to me on the 26th February, and I’ll never forget how it felt. I’ll never forget it, and I likely won’t let you forget it, either.

0 notes