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tuttertime · 2 years

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@justcastiel day 3 trueform

here’s a fic inspired by the concept of cas posting. is it a little strange? yeah. i had fun tho. enjoy <3

After he fell what Cas felt most was relief. He hadn’t been an angel for years before he fell for good.

His body felt wrong though, now that that form was all he had. Jimmy Novak of Pontiac, IL. His body had always been his trueform. When he fell his body was now just that, his body.

He explained this once to Dean, when he’d asked him how he was holding up, and Dean has responded with the customary kind but coarse sympathy.

But he still felt a tugging of discomfort. Something he didn’t think he could voice.

It was late. Dean had one hand on the wheel and was propping his head up with the other. Occasionally, his face was bathed in the golden light of a passing streetlamp. His green eyes caught the light and still held brightly despite his weariness.

They had lapsed into silence 10 minutes back. They were at the portion of every trip where every cell in your body just wants to be there already and is tugging ahead to a bed and sleep.

Yellow light filled the car and to cas’ eyes, Dean glowed. Then back to darkness. Cas shifted for a moment. Cleared his throat.

“Sorry, bud. ‘Know you’re used to zappin’ around. But we’ll get there in about 20 more minutes.”

Cas blinked at him.

“Ok. Thank you, Dean.”

“Yeah. You good, man? Seeming, I don’t know shifty. You getting restless? I know you can’t just bolt like you used to, but-“ Dean trails off

“I’m adjusting” it was clipped.

Silence again.

And then softly “Dean, you’ve never seen me.”

“What? Man, you’re right here. I can reach out and touch you if I wanted.”

Cas sank a little.

“No, Dean. You never really saw me. My...true form.”

“Oh.” Dean masked the startled sound in his voice. “Well, I don’t know what to tell ya. I like my eyes and I like not having them burned out of my skull so I’d say that might’ve been for the best.”

He said it evenly and kept his eyes dead ahead.

Silence.

Under the next street lamp, he took a quick glance at the man in the seat next to him. And Cas met his eyes directly. Dean’s mouth felt stale. That comment had probably been in poor taste.

Cas spoke a moment later. His voice had the usual tone that always commanded Dean’s attention, but it seemed tinged with something else.

“Dean, I’ve seen your soul. I know your body inside and out. I formed every inch of you again- and you have never seen me.” Cas paused. As if waiting for a reply, but it didn’t come. Dean sat there. The road outside continue to pass under them, but inside the car was deadly still.

“Dean, this body is not mine.”

Now Dean shifted uncomfortably. And took a moment before he spoke.

“Umm. I mean...you could’ve chosen a worse vessel.” He sounded uncertain, “I always, ummm, I don’t, man I always like this look for you. I mean I thought it suited you-or whatever.” Dean stumbled a bit.

Cas’ eyes seemed to see right through him. Into his soul again.

“Well, I’m glad you don’t find Jimmy Novak to be an unattractive man.”

“Cas” it comes out a little too soft, a little too tender, “man, most people haven’t seen each other’s souls, ok? Most people didn’t rebuild someone and raise them from hell. That doesn’t mean they don’t know the other person’s soul.”

As soon as it was out of his mouth Dean realized how desperately earnest it sounded.

“We aren’t most people.” Was all Cas said.

“Well fuck, man. Sam, I haven’t seen his soul. He hasn’t seen mine. And I know that kid better than he knows himself. I probably know him better than I know myself too.”

“Fine. I know, there’s not anything we could do about it now anyway.” This time there was certainly a current of anger in Cas’ voice. He want Dean to understand that this felt important. Dean wasn’t taking this seriously.

Cas sighed in his exaggerated way.

“I know you are accustomed to this body. I know this the body you have always known me in. You’ve grown fond of these physical characteristics. But, Dean this isn’t what I look - looked like.” At the correction the anger faded and left a hollowness.

The brief moment of street light caught Cas’ eyes and highlighted the furrow of his brow the familiar nose. And lips. But Dean didn’t see it. He was looking straight ahead. The words had startled him. You’ve grown fond of these physical characteristics. He scrambled for a reason that didn’t sound overly...fond.

In the end all that came out was, “You think I just see your body?”

In the silence that followed Dean rush into an attempt to fill it.

“Like you think all people see when we look at each other is the body? You think that...like.. god I don’t know. You think when I feel in love with someone for the first time all that mattered was the body. That was all i saw. You can see people’s souls, man. Angel or not. The first time I fell in love, man, I fell hard. Cassie. I told you about her. Man, when I looked at her it was like a thousand suns and all that bullshit. I mean it sounds sappy as hell but when I looked at her, I mean she was beautiful. She was like-“ he took a breath, he needed to stop but he kept going, “like she, I don’t know. She was like sitting in a field on a warm summer day or a sweet bottle of Coca Cola, the good kind real sugar and all that.”

He was rambling.

Then softly as the pulled into the motel parking lot, “I don’t know, I’d like to think that even if you can’t see someone’s soul you can feel it.”

He fumbled with the car keys in his hand, “You know I’d like to think I’m not a total superficial guy. You can sense that kind thing about some. Even you can’t see it. Maybe that’s even more powerful you know. It’s faith.”

Then with a jerk he open the door and stepped out.

Cas sat there. And sat there. His thoughts weren’t collecting into concrete thoughts.

Once he stepped out he knew he had to say something as Dean hand him a duffle and slammed the trunk door.

“Dean, that was strangely profound.”

Dean’s body language had stiffened after stepping into the parking lot.

“If you mention any of that bullshit to Sam I will fucking kill you. Which I can do for real now.”

They paid for the room. Got the key. And walked to the door of the somewhat shabby double room.

Dean didn’t bother to turn on the light. Just dropped his bag to the floor and flopped on the nearer bed.

Cas methodically set down his bag and stripped to his T-shirt and boxers before pulling back the sheets.

“Goodnight, Dean”

“‘Night, bud.” Dean mumbled from face down on the bed.

The room was hot and Dean finally motivated himself to divest of his pants and shirt before moving to open the window for some cool air. He then flopped face down again on the bed.

A moment later.

“Cas, you still up?”

No reply.

“I think you’re like that window. The light shining through that thin curtain. The breeze coming in. God the breeze feels good.”

“Dean?” A low voice reached across the dark room.

“Shit, man. you were wake?” A tinny crack of panic hid in Dean’s voice.

“Dean, umm--Thank You.”

“What, I’m just babbling. I’m tired as hell. But cooped up in the car too so I don’t know. It’s hot. Can’t sleep. I-“

“Well, thank you.”

Silence. Heat. Some rustling of sheets.

“Cas? You see that alarm clock?

“Mmhmm”

“You’re that too. It’s so piercing and bright. I felt like it’s interrogating me.”

“Do you feel like I do that?”

“Don’t know. You really stare a lot, bud.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No it’s not bad. It’s just. You look right through a guy sometimes. It’s weird.” Dean trailed off.

He then he spoke a little louder and harsher, “Shit, it bright it here. Seriously, how’re you supposed to sleep.”

The clock blinked back at him. He heard movement from the other end of the room. In a moment Cas’ form was silhouetted against the open window.

Hell it’s like he was meant to be looked at that way. Outlined starkly against then soft curtains. Viewed only via absence. How doesn’t he know that he looks perfectly himself? Dean’s garbled mind wasn’t coherent, even to himself.

Cas bent and picked up something of the floor. Dean’s discarded shirt. Cas draped it over the curtain-rod, fashioning a second curtain.

He turned to face Dean.

“Better?”

“Yeah, a bit. Thanks, you didn’t have to.”

“You know dean I think if I had to describe your soul-“ Dean expected a very literal description to follow. A deeply Cas description. But instead, “I think it’s little one of these warm nights.”

Dean was a little taken aback.

“Warm, Cas, man, it’s boiling in here.”

“I find it somewhat pleasant actually. And I don’t think it’s entirely inaccurate, Dean. Aside from the temperature of your soul, you are a very passionate and fierce individual. I could see that in your soul.”

Cas was still vaguely outlined against the window. Dean could see his mussed hair and the curve of his neck and shoulders.

“Well ok then. We should probably try to get a solid few hours though.”

Cas’ outline vanished and Dean could hear his feet padding back to the bed across from him.

“I suppose. Sleeping is still something I’m adjusting to.”

Dean rolled to his side to face the other bed.

“Yeah,” he said into a yawn.

“The heat doesn’t help.” Cas’ voice rose through the muggy air.

“ 'thought you said you liked it.”

“I do. I’m just stating that it also makes it difficult to sleep.”

“Ok, I’m not going to pretend to understand that logic,” Dean mumbled as he positioned himself to lay on top of the sheets instead of under them.

On the other side of the room, Cas flopped around on his bed. The air made him lethargic but also restless. A frustration settled over him.

“Cas, you’re flipping and flopping like a fish over there.”

Cas grumbled something incoherent. Dean stood above him and Cas blinked confused. Dean yanked him out of bed with force. Grabbed the room key and pulled him out the door.

“Sammy and I used to do this sometimes. Gets hot as hell sometimes and I make him go get us ice from the machine out here. See.”

He pointed at the dully humming machine.

Cas still look a little perplexed. He tilted his head so slightly and his face caught the blue glow of the ice machine.

“Know you’re like the too” Dean whispered in the humid night air. “The humming, ambient. Always there in the background even if you try to ignore it. And again that light.”

He pushed for ice and caught some cubes in his hand.

“You’re comparing my true form to a vending machine?” Cas jabbed but pleasantly.

Dean met his eyes. The ice in his hand began to melt and drip down to the pavement.

“Does that count as blasphemy or something? I mean I’ve tried to kill God already so I don’t think this is my biggest offense.”

He brought the ice the back of his neck to cool himself quickly.

Cas smiled warmly at him, “No, Dean, I just found it funny that you. Well that you found a ice machine beautiful. You find divinity in the strangest things. You worship a sandwich or a car. I would’ve laughed at that but you taught me-“ he was cut off as Dean pressed a fresh hand full of nice to the back of his neck. It melted against his burning skin and melted into the collar of his thin cotton shirt. He hummed at the sensation. He pressed back into the touch.

“I don’t know. I don’t think shit’s that deep”

Looking at Cas in that moment though Dean realized that was a lie as it left his lips. Standing there with a former angel in ecstasy at the feeling of ice and the throbbing of the machine behind him he could feel something of the devine. The way the light illuminated Cas’ features. His parted lips. The taunting way the coloring managed to mimic the slips of Cas’ grace Dean had witnessed on occasion.

These machines were littered at motels just like this one all across America. But places of worship are built all across America too aren’t they? Does abundance make them any less holy?

He pulled his hand back. Cas let out a sigh. The night wrapped around them again.

“Cas, you know you’re beautiful just like this, right?” Dean barely spoke it. His voice hitched.

Cas squinted at him.

“I mean, you you. Not just your body but that too. I mean it’s yours now right...I mean Jimmy’s-“ Dean waved his hand, “gone...or whatever”

Cas nodded slowly.

“So make it yours, man. That body is yours. At this point I’ve seen your true form; and that’s it.”

Cas had that pained look in his eyes again.

“ look, bud, I’m not trying to be mean it’s just- we’ll you don’t want to be God’s power ranger again do you?”

“No, but-“

“Well, then I don’t know what else to tell you. This is what you’ve got. We’re all good that. You gotta fund a way you can be good with that too, Cas. I mean I can help. I’ve been trying. But-“

“Thank you, Dean. You’ve been very good to me.” Cas’ voice has less gravel to it but still more gravity than usual. It was a gravity that always seemed to be trying to pull at Dean.

Dean shrugged it off. But Cas’ tugged slightly at his hand, still cold and wet from the ice.

A moment later Dean found himself contained in a hug, Cas’ arms wrapped tight around him. Both their bodies’ were hot and sticky from the oppressive night air. Cas’ hair tickled Dean’s ear as he pulled tightened his grip.

They stood there, the sound of distance summer crickets interrupted by the engine of a car on the highway behind them.

They stuck together despite the damp air, Cas pressed his face into the crook of Dean’s neck, Dean stroking his hair softly.

“We’ll be ok, man. We’ll be ok.” He whispered. He could feel Cas nodding against him, and kissed his cheek. It was light, chaste, and all most unconcise, but when Cas pull away it gave Dean pause. Cas looked at him intently, deep in his eyes, and blinked slowly, before moving in. His lips brushed gently, hesitant, against Dean’s. Dean breathed him in and brought his hand to rest tenderly on the nape of Cas’ neck, nudging against Cas in response. Dean kissed Cas, with more passion than tenderness now, in Cas’ enthusiasm to return his kiss their teeth crashed together. Dean broke the kiss gently, cupping Cas’ cheek. He sighed, “It’s late. Let’s head back to the room, ok? Let’s try and get some sleep.”

He placed a soft kiss on the base of Cas’ throat before turning towards their room.

#deancas #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel #spn #spn fic #supernatural #justcastiel2k #my writing

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angelsdean · 2 years

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they should've made an episode where dean gets de-aged into a kid, like 5 or 6 years old. sometimes kids just imprint on people the instant they're seen them, imagine this scenario with cas. liddol adorable dean just following cas everywhere like a baby duckling while sam's being all 😮

you know how people say young children are able to perceive the supernatual and can see things adults can't? what if young dean could see cas's wings / trueform? i think young dean would be fascinated and follow cas around like "you have pretty wings" and cas would be so patient and kind with dean, listening intently to dean's little stories and putting on his favorite cartoons, and coloring with him. sam would be freaking out trying to figure out how to reverse the spell because he just. doesn't know what to do with a kid, bless him but sam is clueless. though i think it would be healing for both of them for sam to have to take care of his brother for a change. sam trying to cook them dinner (because cas sure as hell has no clue how to cook) and remembering all the stuff dean did for sam when dean was still young himself. also !! jack !! interacting with young dean ohhh that would be SO healing too. jack would teach him how to play games and give him piggyback rides and sneak bowls of krunch cookie crunch cereal after bedtime. all of this also reminded me of this post where dean's de-aged and taken care of by a random mom at a park. dean deserves to heal his inner child<3

#replies #young dean

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sheepstiel · 3 years

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Suptober #14: Stardust

#suptober21 #suptober #deancas #destiel #destiel fanart #dean fanart #day 14: stardust #sheep draws #he is seeing cas' trueform<3

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sunforgrace · 3 years

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if cas didn't have a vessel until after he raised dean from hell why was there even a handprint on his shoulder........ shouldn't it be like... a tentacle.....

WHAT an ask. anon I am obsessed with you. that being said, I’ve long maintained that Angel’s true forms are inherently incomprehensible for the human mind. it’s why your eyes burn out and you potentially lose your mind, you’re literally incapable of comprehending it. bass boosted shrimp colors.

with that, I’ve posted that I think that Cas met Dean as his true self in Hell, where Dean was a pure soul, and that he carried Dean enveloped in his grace out of Hell, but because the human mind is incapable of processing that as opposed to the soul, it’s why he remembered the trauma of Hell but not the rescue. he quite literally couldn’t remember, because his brain was fundamentally incapable of processing the meeting as memory.

the point of this all being, I think that on Earth, Angels sort of...shift into interactions with their environment that is comprehensible to the human mind. whether that is intentional on their part or just a result of the human mind just...filling in the blanks; substituting the comprehensible in place of the incomprehensible, as a natural way to process. (I like to entertain a literal interpretation of celestial being of intent, an Angel is fundamentally what their intentions are, which is why the majority remain statuesque in their original purpose and loyalty to God, to the Host, to carrying out his word and his will. where as Cas became human in his capacity to love and feel and care for the world, through falling for Dean. his intent shifted and so did he, on such a core level that even his true form evolved. maybe this was even when iridescent rainbow became a part of his black wings. <3 which again, I think would perhaps only manifest that way on Earth as a way for the mind to comprehend, like the shadows of wings that we see. they may not be wings in the way we are capable of understanding and seeing them.)

so, with that, I think that the handprint actually represents a mark upon Dean’s soul made by the touch of Cas’ trueform in Hell, grace carrying a human soul. (and we know canonically from season 6 that when an Angel claims a soul they leave a mark - whether that was intentional on Cas’ part [do you ever covet your brother’s one true vessel?] or an accident [did you fuck the Michael Sword, Castiel?] is up for you to decide!) it manifests as a handprint upon his shoulder, because that’s the way it can be comprehended on Earth, in that material plane. both by human consciousness, the body itself, and a representation of the mark upon the soul in a tangible form. and a handprint is one of the most recognizable marks of humanity, of touch, of connection. it shows, I touched you, I held you, we were joined. there’s an intimacy in hands, a unique connection. we as a species use them to create and to destroy in turn, to comfort and to harm. to touch. and for Cas’ Angelic, celestial and incomprehensible touch upon Dean’s very soul to manifest as something so earnestly human, so wordless in it’s understanding, is so so captivating to me.

#sorry about this essay I just have a lot of Thoughts lmao #so with that #I actually posted about this last night #but I think their true forms are constantly in shift #while their intent usually remains the same #to serve the host and God #but to change intent is to change your form on such a base and fundamental level #altered forever #and for Cas - that change was love #it's why they were depicted as flaming rings and many faces and thousands of eyes #incomprehensible #shifting #everything and nothing #so. yeah! he could very well have tentacles!#but imo that's less of like. tentacles being an inherent part of his form #but more so if he willed it to be they would be #Anonymous

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babesonly · 3 years

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fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still�� an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

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destielfanfic · 3 years

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Good Things Do Happen

Good Things Do Happen - post 15x18 fic rec list with Cas being rescued/ already back from the Empty. Hopefully way less angsty than our previous Happiness isn’t in the Having - 15x18 coda fic rec list. We all deserve good things. <3

All title links go to AO3, hashtag # indicates that this is also a tag on our Tags Page.

ours is the fire, all the warmth we can find by xylodemon [M, 6,800 word count] Dean POV, grief, #reunion

Sam brings it up as they're driving back from the steakhouse in Mankato. Dean cuts him a sharp, sideways glance. "You think I should what?" "I think you should try journaling." "Why the hell would I wanna do that?"

the rhyme of salvation by LymeandCoconut [T, 6,200 word count] Dean POV, #winged!dean, #reunion

“Nothing human can exist in the Empty,” Jack replied, shaking his head. “It would just - spit you back out, and probably kill you in the process.” “Then -” Dean pulled in a deep breath. Made his choice. “Then make me not human.”

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun [T, 5,800 word count] Cas POV, #reunion

For Love by Bookkbaby [T, 1,200 word count] Dean POV, #reunion

With Chuck no longer a threat, there's just one thing left to do: get Cas out of the Empty.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime [NC-17, 7,700 word count] Dean POV, #djinn dream, #wing!fic, #reunion, smut

Maybe it’s the cynic in him. The hunter, always under the surface of any quietude he ever found. Or maybe it’s just that he has always had trouble with blind faith. But after a while (a blink? A decade? A century?), Dean raises his eyebrows, looks around, and says— “Uh. No.” It’s so close. Just so slightly imperfect. And maybe, he analyzes, maybe that’s the final knell of this bell called contentment. Dean’s experience with happiness has always been that last rise in the road, right before it turns. Right before fate comes barreling around the corner head on. He turns in his spot on the bridge, and suddenly Sam is like a cellophane film through which he can see the light streaming, and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue is much, much older a memory than it should be. “Oh, you’re good,” he says, and means it.

Up to Date? by whelvenwings [T, 5,200 word count] Cas POV, Dean POV, texting

It's three months after Castiel was brought back from the Empty after confessing his love to Dean, and things are awkward between them. They haven't talked about it. Castiel can feel how much Dean wants to, but he won't let himself, and Castiel can only wait. But one night, with Castiel halfway across the world, he gets a text from Dean that might change everything - even if Dean didn't quite mean it to.

The Novel by FriendofCarlotta [NC-17, 4,600 word count] Dean POV, #domestic

Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen are happily retired and living their best lives. There's just one problem: Sam has decided to commemorate the Winchester brothers' adventures by writing a novel, and it's not very good at all. AKA the episode coda where 15x20 was nothing more than Dean reading a draft of his brother's first novel and becoming increasingly appalled.

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal [T, 2,200 word count] #heaven, #trueform!cas, #humor, #jimmy, #reunion

Based on the tumblr textpost: jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time; katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store. Thanks for letting me write it, guys!

Fifty Ways to Lose Your Lover by PallasPerilous [T, 1,106 word count] #humor

Castiel's love confession scene is proving difficult to nail down. SURELY the characters will settle down in the next draft. SURELY.

Other useful resources - there’s no time in the world for me to read all lovely season 15 coda and fix-it fics, so, check out these AO3 tags by yourself!

Episode: s15e18 Despair

Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair

Episode: s15e20 Carry On

Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On

Post Episode: s15e20 Carry On

If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos! And if you found our recs useful, let us know by Liking and/or Reblogging our posts!

screencap from homeofthenutty

#destiel #fic rec #destielfanficnet #su #season 15 #short #angst #humor #T #M #NC-17 #reunion #winged!dean #domestic #trueform!cas #heaven #jimmy #coda

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sir-elyan · 3 years

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MAY 2021 — month in review & monthly favorites

what a month!! so much content!! lets dive in with a recap of some of my stuff and my favorites from may!

link to last month's post

— WRITING

Ramble On Prologue: Matthew 26:52 [wc: 4.6k] jack and dean miscommunication ficlet [gen, dean pov, wc: 780] sam and jack bonding time [gen, sam pov, wc: ~590] the three idiots bake jack a cake [gen, cas pov, wayward sisters, wc: 1.2k] claire and jack bonding time [gen, claire pov, gender topics discussed, wc: 1.1k] jack’s life told through flowers [gen, cas pov, wc: 460] jo goes LARPing [gen, mild charliejo, jo pov, wc: ~950] mary babysits jack and cas...or is it the other way around? [gen, mary pov, wc: 1k] kaia tries to deal with coming back from the bad place [gen, kaia pov, wc: 1k] jess comes back from the dead [gen, minor sarahjess, sarah pov, wc: ~500]

— POETRY

twin pines resort

— OTHER

spn women + washing machine heart by mitski (AMV)

MAY FAVORITES

so many events this month means SOO many amazing works! here are some of my favorites that i saw this month. remember to reblog content that you enjoy so that more people can see it!! <3

— ART

cas + where were you when i needed to hear it ? by @m-i-r-i vampire!alex jones by @clairenovvak cassie robinson bi4bi icon by @heller-jensen kaia for spnwomenweek by @butchsubaru destiel + his hands are full by @cantsleepkid cas with triple-pierced ears by @destielamv jack + sunflowers for his bday!! by @crybabycastiell jack is four + super cute outfit by @nephilson howdy pardner by @avaarts cas + pour mercy on me by @theend bow down to your new god by @liorlen dean and cas reversed by @dragqueendean destiel kiss on the cheek by @stonelions two handprints on dean by @daphneallen sam doodles for his bday by @ivydean sam he/him lesbian by @cannibaldatingsite

— GIFS, GRAPHICS, MISC.

season one ladies by @forthiswholeworld rowena graphic and trueform!cas graphics by @grungydean happy fourth birthday jack! and this tombstone comic/graphic by @bestfriendcastiel i cared about the whole world because of you by @holmesemrys castiel in blue and gold by @mckkachins i had it all and then i risked it all by @valleydean sam's birthday set by @buckysbarnes what matters most sam bday set by @seraphcastiel

— WRITING & POETRY

+ be sure to check out my fic recs page for more awesome writing!

kids are supposed to eat your food and break your heart by @tarantula-teeth we've been through much together, you and i by @https-castiel time is observed ... by @storyheller slow burn by @casismymrdarcy feeling Just Love ficlet by @myaimistrue sam's birthday + bobby ficlet by @pinkfloydguy coming home by doriangay

definitely a packed month!! remember, if you ever want me to reblog something of yours, you can use my tracking tag #rambleoncas so i can see it!! <3 thank you for all your creations!!

#2021lookingahead #my post #content creators

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ghostmary · 3 years

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@themactrix hello <3

you sent me this as a prompt: hmmm. cas is Injured and so he can’t contain his trueform in his vessel and dean is just. 😮

i wrote this if you’d like to read it on ao3. it’s like. they’re camping and cas is sick (that’s why he’s thinking about the miserable wet duck) and once he settles down enough the nature comes alive around him !!

Dean tries to count the bug bites on Cas’ legs. He keeps getting up to 10 before getting distracted, but all of them are in different places. “I’d hate to be that duck,” Cas says, sudden in the moment. “I know, obviously. It has the protective underlayer of feathers. It’s waterproof.”

“Swimming duck, you mean?” Dean replies, sticking his hands close to their campfire. He got a spot by a lake.

“The one in the water,” Cas confirms. They both stare at it circling the mucky banks, disturbing the moonlight on the water. “I’m sure it has lots of worms to eat, though. And weeds.”

“If you feel really bad, I’ll get the bread.” Cas is already shaking his head. Dean must have forgotten some ecological rule, again. Cas is even worse with Sammy, crying when he killed the fireflies.

Well, that same Sammy is a grown man now, who ganked a werewolf last week. He’s changed. Cas hasn’t been so soft hearted- understands better than everyone the circles of life worn into the ground, but camping always brings out a melancholy in him.

This time, it’s worse: he’s sick. He sneezes, laying his head in Dean’s lap. It drags a long sigh from his lips. “Bread isn’t good for waterfowl. It doesn’t provide what they need.”

“If I see something, I’ll shut it down, then,” Dean promises. “Be your knight in shining armor and shit. As you wish.”

Cas doesn’t get what he means but Dean grins at himself anyway. “I don’t believe I can feel any worse, but that water would do it. I’m glad I have a human vessel,” Cas says darkly. He rolls his shoulders out. The cold is an unlucky thing that Sam gave away and Dean tried to escape. Cas got hit with the stuffy nose and the muscle aches. He has a swollen throat, too.

“Just breathe through it, buddy.”

He coughs. The lakewater loses some of its stillness. Cas still has his head in Dean’s lap, so he’s the only witness to what’s going on. The next time he coughs, Dean watches the waves rise, not lapping at the shore anymore. Not crashing; something in between.

As he shivers with cold, the night loses some of its humidity. Dean feels out of body with what he’s witnessing. It’s a clear night, he can see the planets, and there’s no weather to be had. It’s all Cas.

When he drops off to sleep, the air snaps back to its usual level. “Awesome,” Dean whispers.

He looks down. Cas is dozing. Dean brushes his fingers through his hair, as his breathing eases. Cool metal looped again and again, some kind of möbius strip, is tangled in Cas’s hair. He breathes in and out, and instead of normal goddamn breath, it’s- it’s shining silver.

Dean sits back. What’s going on? What’s the magic scattered around him? The grace? It’s like Dean’s seeing a more real version of Cas than ever. Like who he is truly. His trueform. Chrysler building, my ass, he thinks. It’s fluid, throbbing silver.

#destiel #my fic

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found--family · 3 years

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top 3 spn season-starters that deserved more screentime:

godstiel - one freakin ep?! f*ck off. we definitely deserved a 3-ep arc of his wayward deeds inc. Angel/Heaven stuff + the wooing of the righteous man (oh Redemption Road, we're really in it now..)

human!cas - technically he was around for 9 eps but we only saw half. where was the team-up with Charlie? makeover montage? sparring like a graceful badass? Learning to Human 101? learning he was worthy + loved for Who not What he is?? where was the shower scene?

demon!dean - should've been 10 eps + mid-season finale where they "cure" him (dead!kevin who?). where was demon!dean in Hell with flashes of his trueform? where was malevessel!demon!bela flirting with him? get rid of Cole for demon!bela and now i'm getting off track again..

bonus purgaytory - (because those were all characters + i need to mention the one starter plotline that should've been given half a season of exploration) Eve sends all manner of creatures to hunt Dean. we see some familiar monster faces on the journey to Cas + the portal. lots of cool mythological monsters: dragon shadows, mermaids in the water, non-vesseled leviathan. scenery other than 1sq mile of forest. and ofc Cas has his wings out.

#spn top 3 #demon dean #human cas #godstiel #purgaytory #spn rewrite #soulless!sam was cool too. my fave was the ufo/fairy ep bc clueless!sam was unexpected comic gold.#michael!dean also good. loved seeing jensen flex his range. just not a fan of s14 and would rather see his demon reign #trying not to add destiel into all these top 3s and just focus on the other stuff but ofc destiel is implied :D #thoughts

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wideeyedvireo · 3 years

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With Supernatural season 15 finale mere hours away and series finale one week away, I want to get in my last minute wishlist! So without further ado: 1. Death!Dean - Dean has been the only person to ever kill death, and he did it twice! And both times with Death’s scythe. Last episode there were so many hero shots of Dean with the scythe, I just want it to be leading up to something. Plus shouldn’t “the most caring man on earth” be in charge of the afterlife. I think so. On a clowning note, Death also has to opportunity to move between the Empty and other realms and even bring people back from there (Jack 15x18) which brings me to . . . 2. Rescuing Castiel from the Empty - I need it to hurt so good. I want a redux of the time Dean and Cas tried to escape from Purgatory. But this time with Dean absolutely refusing to let go and for Cas to want to be saved. (hopefully all culminating in a kiss and confession from Dean) And finally 3. Shoshanna Stern on screen in person - I don’t want any more Eileen and Sam offscreen moments. Sam deserves his happiness and we deserve to see it. I will be absolutely heartbroken if Shoshanna was not able to quarantine for the final episodes.

And that’s it really. I just need all my boys happy, and I want it to be their choice. Enjoy a short list of wishes that would just be icing on the cake

- more Auntie!Amara scenes with Jack

- “See you on the other side, brother”

- A post credits scene of Rowena throwing an absolute rager in Hell

- beach scene

- Trueform!Castiel

- one last “Bitch!” “Jerk!”

- Jody hugs

#not ready for this to end #spn spoilers #spn finale #SPNFamily #spn speculation #destiel #destiel kiss #saileen

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tonyglowheart · 3 years

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Trying to semi-organize my thoughts on what exactly I am wanting out of spn fic and hm let's see. If I remember this post in the future, I may update it as I think of/on things and use this for reference so I, also, don't forget lol

Okay so, wants/likes:

Cas prominent. He is my, as I believe the kpop kids say, bias, so he is kind of non-negotiable. Sorry I am just not interested in fics where he is not prominent

Destiel not required but a good plus. Slight preference for intricate courtship rituals over ones where they figure things out ridiculously easy, unless it is established relationship. If the revelation comes too quick and easy then I get taken out of the moment :')

Optional: Angels treating Cas like their baby brother :3 Cas can be somewhat put out by it or not. Actually maybe bonus if he IS, bc they are all angels of the lord and relative by rank and experience, And Yet [whoever] just cannot help but be *points* Baby

canonverse is plus. canon divergence is okay but idk how close to canon I'm looking for, if it's too close to an episode rewrite I may not be into that either

casefics are cool. If it's got that canon-typical vaguely racist sht then pls warn me going in 😔

Found family. Family don't end in blood!!! Spn may forget this but I never will!!!

Any exploration of the whole fucky destiel thematic dichotomies, the whole free will vs destiny shit, stuff like words of prophets are written on subway walls, like.. idk, something that is intricate-rituals-gay and also makes me think of the philosophy of thehuman condition

corollary: slow burns ig?? or like mutual pining? canon typical thinking they are not worthy or that it is something they cannot have? canon typical did not realize until later but even then they have their individual canon-typical reasons for not acting on it, until they do bc it's fic so they can get together for realsies?

trope: Cas and/or Destiel being parents. I read one recently where it was like single dad Cas (to Claire and Jack) and then Dean came (back) into his life recently and I rly liked it

AUs are fine but highly subject to mood so we'll see. I did read a Star Trek-y AU I liked

I'm down for a lot of various other kinds of plot tropes and stuff, tho I want stuff that's more character and plot and less, like, pwp or fuck or die or that kinda thing

trope: curses maybe? I've found a couple curse-focused fics which were interesting

trope: Hurt/Comfort of the Cas whump kind but not necessarily have to be just Cas. But like.. u know when Uriel is beating him up and he looks all bloody and beautiful, or when he flexes his sexy angel powers and transports the Winchesters to the past but then collapses bc he overtaxed himself, or when he had that blanket on when he was suffering from the attack dog spell.... yeah,,,

trope: Anything with like the Winchesters caring about and caring for Cas. I just rly like Cas being taken care of :') pls wrap him in a blanket and pat his shoulder brusque-softly in ur emotionally repressed way Dean

bottom line my emphasis tends to be more on character and plot. I can't do plot without character, the relationships - whether ship or gen - are important to my enjoyment of a fic. I can sit thru a lot if the characters/character dynamics are good and chewy lmao like u can rly sink ur teeth into it

Bonus features:

eldritch horror angels are a bonus. Give me unfathomable trueform angels, I feel like I don't see that enough

wings* but.... caveat I like my spn wings more metaphysical than literal unless they're literal for a point, but this isn't set in stone either. I'm just... slightly tired of the physicality of the wings I guess. Like it's not the physicality that's the issue, ig, but when it's not treated as metaphysical (as well)

wouldn't mind some good endverse fics to chew on altho that might also make me sad

Cas being cute, a la crazy!Cas (who is.... so soft.... his innocence.. *clutches chest*) or like when Cas and Dean went to talk to that police guy and Cas was like you tell them it's angels and demons warring and he will tell you what he knows, or when Cas was like I'm gonna become a hunter :3, or interrogating the cat, or this is his serious face, yes

Powerful af Cas?? I miss season 4/5 Cas, when he was powerful and self-assured and wasn't "mentally deficient puppy" as Metatron meanly put it Cas. I feel like we get less of that as the seasons go on... I miss Cas being powerful and exuding energy that I'm sure is what had ppl assigning him as top energy. Like yes flex ur sexy sexy angel powers pls. There's one ep where my notes just say "ANGEL SMITE ANGEL SMITE / HEAAALING." Season 6 Cas where he is more out of touch with humanity and more brusque was also intriguing even tho he was like that bc of extenuating circumstances. But him flexing his sexy angel powers sure was sexy

Do not wants :(

Endgame human!Cas. Sorry I like short-lived Cassidy am more into feathered Cas than human!Cas. endgame human!Cas just isn't a good solution/happy ending to me, I don't think Cas needs to change to be able to live happily, and also I like to chew on the like philosophical underpinnings of an immortal/mortal pairing if that does get called into question lol

Human AU* but like asterisk bc I will take human AU if the plot is compelling and/or the characterization still manages to capture that je nais se quoi of canonverse. If they are, like, middle age dads being domestic, as an example, tho, then I can probs do that, I just like.. have limited capacity for career-based AUs for the sake of it, if that makes sense... But character/character dynamics trumps all, like I said lmao.. I've sat thru scenarios/setups that lowkey dealt me psychic damage bc of the nature of the set dressing, bc I checked it out out of morbid curiosity but the way they did the characterization ended up working for me

A/B/O - I am not seeking A/B/O at the moment

Hurt no Comfort - it would make me too sad :(

fics that treat angels like literal physical feathered beings. Idk I just like... want the whole angel thing to be treated more metaphysically. They are multidimensional wavelengths of celestial intent in holy corporate/business attire visages but they are still very much multidimensional wavelengths of celestial intent the ballpark size of our Chrysler building. If the wings are treated too literally I find I start getting bored, ironically. This is ironic bc I'm a slut for wingfic. But with spn I find that a conventional kind of wingfic/angel conception where the wings are just limbs with maybe some slight handwaved dimension-shifting stowing is.. slightly passe for my tastes. Unless it's like a forced manifestation or sth. Just like.. get the metaphysics involved, tie it to angelic grace. Something. Make is racy. But not too racy, the whole wings-as-erogenous-zones thing I'm a bit over too, xenobiology to humans would just be biology to these beings, it doesn't make sense to me to be like "oh they have a tail and it's EXTRA sensitive," like are you suggesting your arm/armpit is an extra special species-typical erogenous zone too?

deaging unless it ties to some other kinda plotty deal somehow ig? Like... I got invested in this fandom for them as they are now I'm not too interesting in unseasoned nibling vers

this maybe goes with the human aus tho that's a slight asterisk but hard line no high school aus. pls I cannot take the psychic damage that would deal to me personal

I have no conclusion even tho I feel like I need one. here's wonderwall? ig I can stumble around looking for reclists and see if anything sticks out, trawling thru tags so far has been a mixed bag

Anyway haha lol, stand-up-style-tone I mean I'm not asking for a lot amirite. Just a nebulously specific set of intricate rituals wrapped around a plot and also found family or something, like you know, just a trifling

#supernatural cw #I had a tag for things like this before maybe #idk what #personal reference #hope I remember that in the future lmao...#long post

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helianthus21 · 6 years

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Destiel, trueform!Cas, ~3k continuation of my headcanon thanks to @perfackles again for checking for mistakes!<3 you’re da best

“Alright, I’m gonna hit the hay,” Dean announces, pushing himself off his perch on the kitchen chair. The other men around the table murmur their good nights at him, but when no footsteps follow his, Dean hesitates at the doorframe and turns. “Uhm, Cas? You comin’?” Cas perks up at the mention of his name. For a while there, he seems to be genuinely confused at the question, but opts for a matter-of-fact reaction. “Oh,” he says. “I don’t sleep.” Before Dean can give him another hint about what he actually wants, his brother gives an amused snort from where he’s sitting at the other side of the table. “He’s asking you to spend the night in his room.” The frown on Cas’ forehead deepens. “But I don’t-” he starts, but God must be actually present somewhere in a far corner of this universe because Cas’ expression clears and, “Oh,” he says again, this time in a much more comprehending tone which makes Dean grin. “Of course, Dean. I’ll... follow you.” Something in the way he says it gives Dean the urge to look down to his shoes – no need for his brother to see the unmistakably mushy grin, nor the embarrassing blush that’s taking over Dean’s face. His very new and tentative relationship with the angel had been cause for enough of Sam’s teasing ‘you-guys-are-gross’-smiles and though he’d never said anything, Dean’s still rather wary about displaying his love for his best friend in front of other people. Even when those other people are his brother. Around just Cas, however? It’s surprisingly easy, this new dynamic they’ve established since they’d gotten their heads out of their asses and confessed their feelings for each other. For probably the first time in his life, Dean can let himself fall into someone else’s arms and let go of the burdens the world put on him, and as cheesy as that sounds, he feels... at home. There, in Castiel’s arms. Things like this just don’t happen in Dean Winchester’s life. Except they do, Dean thinks, as he grabs Cas’ hand to pull him out into the hallway and towards his room. Good things do happen, and Dean’s determined to hold onto them for as long as he can. Once they’ve closed the door behind them, the anticipation of the first night they’ll spend together as a couple hits Dean unabatedly. As he attempts to deal with the roller coaster in his head, Dean can barely do more than stand there and stare. Contrary to what Sam might think they're gonna get up to tonight on this specific First of theirs, Dean can't even think beyond the fact that this is happening at all. Because Cas in his room is a rare and welcome sight. Cas in Dean’s bed is even better, as it turns out. In fact, Dean could spend hours just staring at the other side of his bed that it is now occupied by six foot of trenchcoated angel. By his angel, now, he thinks, and the grin rushes back into Dean’s face. “Hey, Cas,” he says, just to make this whole thing more real. Cas turns to look at him with his earnest, blue blue eyes and responds with his usual, “Hello, Dean.” And it's crazy how these two words are enough to settle Dean's whirling thoughts. With a happy sigh, Dean curls deeper into the sheets, his arm draping across Cas’ chest as he lets the angel’s familiar scent lull him to sleep. Yeah, he could really get used to this, falling asleep beside Cas.

***

A tickling sensation against his cheek wakes Dean up the next day. It’s a long and pleasant dream he surfaces from, feeling so well-rested as he hasn’t in pretty much forever. That’s why it takes him an uncharacteristically long time to pull himself out of sleepy disorientation. When he finally does, it’s with a bang. Because when he blinks his eyes open, he finds himself face to face with the gaping mouth of a fucking lion. No joke, there’s a row of big, sharp white fangs mere inches from Dean’s face. It’s crazy enough for Dean to forget his basic hunter instincts, and instead of being a big warrior guy about it, what he does is fucking scream his fucking lungs out! Shrill and undignified and nearly pissing himself while he’s at it, and it takes him a few more embarrassing seconds to think of grabbing the gun from under his pillow and point it at the friggin’ lion in his friggin’ bed. “Dean, it’s-” And that voice he knows, because that’s Cas’ voice, and the synapses in Dean’s brain are working rapidly to figure out what Cas’ voice is doing in his room so early in the morning and how that relates to the big lion head that’s still lurking next to him. (And it is indeed just the head of a lion, Dean observes, and not the whole animal, which makes it all even weirder.) To its credit, it seems to be doing everything it can to look considerably less threatening than it did just a few seconds ago, what with its mouth now shut, and backed off on the mattress as far as the width of Dean’s bed allowed. Another few seconds pass in which Dean tries to get over the confusion brought on by the mix of feelings he’s experienced in the first two minutes after being roused from sleep in such a nasty way. Firstly, there’s the sense of safety that Cas manages to encompass him in with just the sound of his voice. Compare that to the complete madness that is waking up to the sight of a lion head on the pillow next to him like it belongs there, and Dean’s hunting instincts are at a loss about whether to shoot or protect, or let himself be protected. And suddenly something clicks in Dean's head, and it all starts to make sense. Because the summation of Cas + madness isn’t so far off from the equation of Cas = safety, and really, Dean shouldn’t have expected his first night with his angel boyfriend to be any less crazy. “Good morning, Dean,” comes the sheepish greeting from the familiar human form that Dean normally associates with Cas. He’s leaning on his elbow to peek over the lion head that, Dean realizes now, is also Cas, trying for an expression that’s probably supposed to look both calming and apologetic. Dean, who may or may not have made quite an impressive, panicky leap into the air somewhere in the process between grabbing his gun and directing it at his unsuspecting partner, finally relaxes back against the mattress. He can’t help himself. He starts laughing. “Jesus, Cas,” he wheezes. “Holy shit! You scared me!” “Sorry, Dean,” Cas says, sounding so genuinely upset that Dean immediately reins in his laughter. He moves to put the gun onto his nightstand and out of direct reach, and then turns to look at Cas – at all of him. He regards the human head with his adorably mussed hair where it’s flattened from the pillow on one side, as well as the lion head that looks a little less like the zoo animal Dean is familiar with, and more like a very old, very distant ancestor of the good old Twentieth-Century-lion, his mane a dirty shade of gray and so long that it reaches down to Cas’ shoulder. Tracing his eyes down its length, Dean notices that the lion head seems to protrude from Cas’ neck, which, huh. Not a view you get to see every day. Upon closer inspection, he also notices that the lion head isn’t even the weirdest thing about early-morning-Cas. Huge, black shimmering wings are jutting out of Cas’ shoulder blades. And despite the careful, chivalrous distance he’s keeping from Dean since the dramatic reaction of the latter, one of the wings is still draped over a great portion of Dean’s body. Distantly, Dean realizes that those feathers must’ve been what woke him up in the first place. When Dean reaches out a hand to touch them, though, Cas retrieves and folds them behind his back in one swift move. “I’m sorry,” Cas murmurs. “I didn’t mean to-” “Hey, no, I was looking at that!” All at once, the rush of the feathers stills completely, and Castiel turns to blink owlishly at him. “What?” “I wasn’t done looking. At your wings, I mean,” explains Dean, making impatient gestures with his hands. “C’mon bring ‘em back over.” Another few seconds of owlish blinking follows, before Cas hesitantly complies, arching the wing that is easier accessible from this angle down towards Dean again. “Can I?” Dean remembers to ask, not wanting to dive into the feathers without the owner’s specific consent. Who knows what the etiquette for wing touching is between angels, and even so, sticking a finger at somebody’s body parts unasked is just generally rude. But Cas apparently doesn’t mind Dean prodding at his wings, because he nods his yes readily enough. So prod Dean does. The feathers are soft to the touch, and pretty and delicate though they look, Dean judges them impressively resilient. It only makes sense, considering what they probably had to go through in Cas’ epic angelic battles. Dean traces his fingers along the upper bone-thingy – he really needs to read up on the subject of wing anatomy – and then down, letting the softness of the feathers caress the back of his hand – when he suddenly moves over something that feels substantially different than the rest of the feathers. He pulls his hand back as if burned. “What-” And then, before Dean can voice his confusion, that exact space between the feathers splits into something like lids and Dean’s staring at a perfectly almond-shaped hole right in the middle of the wing. What takes the cake: the hole stares back at him. “Is that a friggin’ eye?” Dean wonders aloud, voice taking on a decidedly un-manly shrillness. Cas draws his wing back a few inches, but otherwise leaves it in place before Dean. “I closed them all to reduce your discomfort,” he explains. “Sorry.” “Them... all?” Dean croaks. “Cas, there’s a friggin' eye in your wing!” But, “Yes,” is all Cas has to say to this. “They’re, uh. They’re supposed to be there.” “They,” repeats Dean. “Yes.” “Plural.” “Yes.” “There’s more than one.” Cas fidgets. “Uh. Yes.” Dean clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He nods, because yeah, angel wings come with a ton of creepy eyes apparently, and of course they do. “Show me,” he finally says. “Dean-” “Show me, I wanna see.” Cas studies him for a long moment. Then he seems to come to the decision that works for both of them, because a dozen of those creepy freakish eyes in his partners wings open their lids, and Dean is met with the deep, soul-searching stare he’s gotten used to from Cas, except multiplied by, well, a dozen. “Aw, that’s just not a fair game,” Dean mumbles, complete bafflement competing with his awe at the absurdity of it all. Not all of the eyes have their attention focused on Dean, though. A few are glancing into random directions that probably aren’t random at all, knowing Cas, and some seem to be gazing inward. Whatever they might be seeing there. “I know they’re gruesome to you. I didn’t mean to show them to you anyway, it’s an error I deeply regret, Dean, I’m-” “No, it’s...” Dean cuts in before he has to hear another of those sad, misguided apologies. “Just takes some getting used to, ya know?” Really, Dean’s the one who’s sorry, because while his coffee-deprived brain was all occupied with processing everything he’s been confronted with so far, he’d neglected to notice Cas’ own bashful discomfort. He’s showing Dean a part of himself he’d kept hidden for as long as they’ve known each other, and is actually afraid now that his True Face might appall Dean. As if anything about Cas actually could. “Cas,” he says, voice softening to a much more reassuring tone, and he scoots across the mattress towards his partner, searching for closeness. “Let’s get one thing straight here: your wings? Are fucking badass.” That seems to throw Cas. He looks up – with the human and the lion head, plus a dozen of wing-eyes, naturally – and there’s such a hopeful glimmer in his eyes (yes, all of them) that Dean’s heart aches for him. Only logical that he reach out with a comforting touch to Cas’ shoulder in order to quell that ache. “Do you really think so?” Dean smiles, clenches the hand he has clamped on Cas’ shoulder. “Yeah.” And for good measure, he extends his other hand to the lion head and starts to pet the mane – carefully, because that's still the head of a friggin’ predator that sticks out of his best friend's neck for fuck's sake, that shit's terrifying! In any case, the (almost) unafraid touch to that part of him that's new to Dean, makes Cas relax quite a bit. So far, in fact, that the fur under Dean's palm begins to vibrate. “Dude, are you purring?” The eyes of the lion that had fallen shut at Dean's caress, open again. “No,” Cas says. It's a total lie, and it slaps a wicked smile onto Dean's face. “You're totally purring!” Cas rolls his eyes – yes, again, all of them. But it's a common reaction to their banter, so Dean takes it as a good sign that Cas is more at ease now, and trusts that Dean is saying the truth about liking his morning look. “I haven't been touched there in a while,” Cas amends, and from anyone else this admission could've had huge flirty undertones, but coming from Cas? There's no ulterior motive here at all, which all the more strongly sparks in Dean the wish to grab Cas and hold him in his arms. Which he does, because what's holding him back? It's a bit awkward, trying to hug both heads and the body they're attached to at the same time, especially when there's also wings involved, but Dean tries anyway. After Cas wraps his wings around the messy pile of bodies they've created, it's actually pretty cozy. Dean could happily stay like this for a while. “Your lion head is touch-starved,” he surmises, when the purring starts up again. “It's not actually a lion,” corrects Cas helpfully. “It's... well, to be truthful, its Enochian name wouldn't be perceptible by your ears, so there is not much point in lecturing you about it. At any rate, the panthera leo as you know it was created in this image.” The “Not the other way around,” is left unsaid, but Dean knows his angel well enough to read his pride from between the lines. He grins. “My boyfriend is a badass celestial feline.” “I'm not a-” Cas tries to protest, but is interrupted by Dean brushing his fingers through Cas’ mane, which causes the purring to grow louder. “Kitty,” Dean confirms, pleased. Cas sighs. Which is not a denial, so Dean counts it as a win. “How come I can see you like this anyway?” He inquires. The last time Cas wanted to reveal a part of his True Self to him, blood had spilled out of Dean's ears. Thankfully, both his ears and eyes are still intact now, and Dean’d like to keep it that way. But still – it's curious. Cas moves to cradle Dean's face, and it takes Dean a moment to realize that the touch doesn't come from Cas’ hand but from his wing. He presses his face against the feathers, soaking in the feeling of comfort that is just as strong like this as it is coming from human limbs and skin. He hears Cas let out a long exhale that tells Dean exactly how hard he's still plaguing himself with worry, before he says, “What you’re seeing is, thankfully, a mere reflection of a fraction of my True Form.“ "A fraction?” Dean wonders aloud. “So, this isn’t really what you look like?” “Not all of it, no. Think of this,” and here he makes a gesture that encompasses all three of his additional body parts, “As a three-dimensional projection of a multidimensional object, the object being myself. The three-dimensional level isn’t capable of reproducing the whole image, but what does come through is tangible and true to the original. I suppose it is for the reason of this incompleteness, that the sight does you no harm,” he pauses, training his with contrition filled eyes directly on Dean. “I would never have forgiven myself, had I hurt you, Dean.” “Hey now,” Dean makes to defend him, but Cas isn't done with his confession time yet. “I put my guard down,” he says. “I didn't mean to confront you with this sight, I truly didn't, but it was warm and comfortable, and you were here by my side, sleeping soundly and...,” He pauses, grasping for the right words. “Quite foolishly, I forgot to hide part of my True Face from your capacity of perception. And then you woke up, and it was too late. It is incompetent and unforgivable, and I apologize for my sluggishness. It will not happen again, I promise you.” Dean hums, working through the things just said. “So you're saying you were too comfortable to hide yourself from me, is that it?” Averting his gaze down to his feet, Cas says, “Yes, basically.” “Dude, that's not a bad thing at all, that's a,” Dean snaps his fingers, trying to summon the word he’s looking for. “That's a blessing, that's what it is!” He smiles, proud of the pun he could sneak into his pep talk. “You're apparently so at ease around me that you don't care to put on your ‘make-up’. You just grace me with the natural look, that's healthy relationship stuff, right?” He looks at Cas, who is probably the one person who's even less versed in “relationship stuff” than Dean is. Right. Who's he asking. “Never mind,” he says. “Point is: You're showing me a side of yourself you haven't dared to show me ever before, that's a huge ego boost for me! And look at me, dude, I love what you got! The wings, the whiskers – the whole nine. So there's the ego boost for you. It's a win–win.” And that earns Dean one of those sweet Cas smiles he loves so much, coupled with a head tilt that squishes half his face into the pillow since he’s still lying sideways on the bed. Looking around, Dean notices most of the wing eyes, too, have averted their gaze bashfully, and if he didn't know any better, he'd say the lion head was sporting a faint blush around the whiskers. “You really like it?” Jesus, Cas either is just that blind or he needs that praise like a drowning man needs air. “Cas, you have giant wings with terrifying eyes on them, and a second head in the shape of a predator. What hunter doesn't dream of baggin' that?” Cas frowns lightly. “I don't know the exact statistics, but I assume not many do.” “Yeah,” Dean agrees. “Not many. Probably not. But hey, more for me!” An actual laugh escapes Cas’ mouths, and Dean revels at the unique sound, filing it away for a later, more thorough examination. “So waddaya say?” he asks, snuggling even closer against Cas, head sandwiched comfortably in the space between Cas’ human and animal head. “Few more minutes?” The lion’s tongue slips out to fondly lick a quick, sticky stripe across his neck. “A few more minutes,” Cas agrees.

#destiel #ficlet #trueform!cas #part of it anyway #established!destiel #mine #original post #fluff #i can't make them not sappy for some reason #okay so i've read this a billion times and am sick of it now #but i think at some point last week i didn't find it too bad actually..:'P #might put this on ao3 later..

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