not to rant on my reblog blog but i have nowhere else to put these feelings
no offence but i feel like it was extremely inappropriate of certain people i considered really good friends to suddenly just tell me i needed to Get Out because they didnt want to "deal with that" (me and jolly knowing each other and later/currently courting) like what?
and then i find out awhile after leaving
apparently people shit talked about me behind my back? like said i was gullible and being abused without even asking me or assessing the situation in a different persons view
like, my guy, you realize you can know someone, who knows someone, that you dont agree with? you know you can be friends with someone who is with someone you dont agree with, right?
right?
guys?
am i crazy?
am i the only one?
what kind of Good Friends suddenly throws you out, like - throws you out. - because of that. after i knew them for what, 7 years? 6 years? i dont know. but that feels extremely inappropriate. you suddenly turn your back on me while pretending to be mildly concerned over me while you also shit talk my name. that kinda really hurts. i dont know. ive been thinking about this a lot.
for a long time.
it feels bad. i trusted you guys! i trusted you guys... you knew me as a child, technically, at 17. i grew up with you basically! i thought you understood me, you know? we did all this stuff,
one of you two even played games with me a lot. and then i find out later your people also disliked me and talked bad about me (because i had autistic habits? why didnt you tell me my behavior of being distracted by a shiny thing was bad for the missions?)
and the other one of you, your nice friend-server. or i considered your server nice. i trusted that server too. i poured my heart and soul out on the server. and i never once mentioned jolly out of respect. and then once you catch wind sometime later, you decide you dont want to deal with that anymore. even though i never did anything wrong. even though i never hurt you, i never crossed you, i never did anything. i thought we were pals.
why would you guys just throw me away like that? what did i ever do to you in a personal way? know someone who you know that you dont like? what kind of crime is that?
i dont think we were good friends after all if you didnt actually care enough about me to say i was being abused and then not check on me or ask me how i was feeling about these things you didnt like.
i dont think we were good friends if you cared more about the feelings of someone you knew that you knew didnt like the person, jolly, that i knew, without talking to me about it past guilt tripping me.
well, except the third person i didnt mention before. opa. wow. that rant he threw into my dms at random after i left flora owel server. that was cringe. the capslock of rage. the stalking-my-twitter-for-years-old-posts and then saying that what happened with my pedophile, predator ex, will happen to me again. thats cool. thats nice of you opa. thanks for that. ill remember that one forever for sure. that wont cause serious traumatic memories to pop back up for me or anything. thanks dude. please dont talk to me again opa.
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you know that tumblr post thats like:
how do people go to mitski concerts with their boyfriend like what does he think when she starts screaming along to i bet on losing dogs
and i just had that experience at julia jacklin like yeah its just my life and its just my body
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