#hi tumblr friends!! i started this a While ago but took my damn time with it

[dovalore]

fanart of @cecils-dragons’ deity redesigns! go check them out!

these are available to use on fr too if you’d like

#flight rising #hi tumblr friends!! i started this a While ago but took my damn time with it #y’know as i do #these redesigns don’t have their colours set in stone so i went with their on site appearance and asking caecilius about it #the two things i will point out about this are that they have the exact same dimensions as my previous art of them #and that the arcanist’s tentacles are arranged to look like a head kinda #since he’s a squid and they cam camoflage themselves

[threecirclingbuzzards]

Three's Patch Clothing Masterpost!

Inspired by @genderfluid-and-confuzled 's own masterpost of his jackets, this is all three of my projects I have been actively adding to over the past year and a half!

The jacket that started it all for me, DisA. I started work on DisA all the way back in January 2022 [See my one year post for progress photos.] and she's been my main jacket for a lot of that time. If it's cold enough to wear a denim jacket, I'll be wearing DisA a lot of that time. Very full of pins and patches from that year of collecting, including a bunch of pins I found on the ground or was gifted.

I recently reorganized all the pins, so it may not perfectly line up with past photos, but this is photos I took following that so it's quite accurate at this moment.

My favourite piece is probably my handpainted art of Enne's House from VOIDWORLD, a comic by fellow tumblr users @wizard0rb and @musicsmithy . Appreciate you guys!

With my jacket covered, I have to go on to my Pink vest! I recently did the back's artwork in preparation for the pride parade this year, and I posted these pics here already as a precursor to this masterpost because I'm finally happy with it, however most patches were added a while ago. The vest is really nice for this summer, because it's really damn hot out lately.

The back of the vest has patch from the now closed shop run by Lauren of Stick and Poke, a fantastic Canadian Folk Punk band. That patch is probably the most treasured part of this vest to me, but it also has the pin set for Chloe and Max from life is strange on the pockets. Really had to take good care of those so they don't get too worn or damaged because they stopped selling those as well.

Finally, my pants! they got ripped, so I decided to put patches on them. These are still quite blank because I haven't found much I want to put on them, but I encourage any friend who's physically around me when I have them to draw or write on them, because I have done that a bit and want more people to do that too.

Most notable thing about these is that the big tan patch on the front is an extra pocket as well.

Those are my three patch projects! I love them all very much as you can probably tell. I also have a history of working on other people's jackets and such, it's somewhat my thing, but I don't have super great photos of some of that. @tacocat7997 's jacket was a lot of my handiwork, so if he takes photos and adds them in a reblog, I'll reblog the addition. Also worked on another friend's very recently, but it's still a work in progress, and I'm handing it back to them soon.

Also, because it was only to mend it, I left out my leather trenchcoat. I added a crow patch to that shoulder after it was ripped open against a brick wall because of some Nazi assholes chasing me. Fucking high school. Adios you wretched place.

#punk jacket #patch jacket #patch vest #patch pants #battle jacket #crust jacket #street punk #punk fashion #my jacket #masterpost #punk rock

[dbnightingale24]

A Dream Worth Chasing

Part two to ‘You’ve Always Been My Dream’

~~

~~

Okay, so I’m fucking annoyed because I just spent an hour editing all of this, just so Tumblr could fuck me over. ANYWAY, this is part two to ‘You’ve Always Been My Dream’. Thank you @fuckingbye​ for making such an amazing mood board, but also being an amazing wedding planner, and an amazing friend. I love you so much. Thank you all so much for your patience, there's so much going on right now. Okay, I hope you all enjoy it!!

Word Count: 35,640 (be proud of me please)

Warnings: SMUT (so much), MINORS DNI, Angst, Swearing, Age kink, Family drama, lying, drinking, FLUFF, Arguing, Drinking, Oral (m/ receiving) (f/ receiving), Degrade kink, Daddy kink, Unprotected sex (reader is on birth control but it’s nit mentioned), Anxiety, Lying, Cheating (I guess), and more shit I’m sure I forgot

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone

Summary: You and Andy just can’t quit one another, so you’re both done trying. However, your new found love means that you now have friction with your best friend. How the hell are you two supposed to tell Jacob that you’re in love with one another?

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

Part 1

~~

“Why didn’t you answer me?” Laurie asks as she makes her into the bedroom.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I was sleeping,” Andy scoffs and you hear his feet shuffling around the bedroom.

After quickly making sure you had everything (except the panties Andy ripped off of you because he refuses to give them back), you ran into Jacob’s room just in time. Now, you have the privilege of hearing them going back and forth.

“I called you-”

“Laurie, my phone is downstairs. I don’t feel like going back and forth with you, especially when I’m just waking up, so I’m not fucking going to.”

“You spent the night with her and expect-”

“Her being in the same house as me while sleeping doesn’t mean we fucking spent the night together.”

“You had no problem telling her to stay!”

“Would you have preferred that she drive in that shit and crash into a fucking pole? You saw the same fucking storm I did, it was a shit show! It’s not her fault that Jacob didn’t show up, so leave her alone!”

“Andy-”

“She means nothing to me, Laurie. I barely fucking know her, so just drop it!” he snaps.

You know why he’s saying it, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting any less. It doesn’t help that, less than 24 hours ago, you gave yourself to him completely.

You don’t want to be mad, but you’re fucking pissed.

“I don’t mean to start an argument, Andy. I just wasn’t expecting...I did something for us,” Laurie beams.

“What?”

What?

“I booked us two tickets-”

“Don’t even finish that statement. You know I can’t just randomly take off from work-”

“We used to go on spontaneous trips all the time!”

“Things change and I can’t-”

“Hello!?” Jacob calls from downstairs, reminding you that you need to finish getting dressed.

“Hey bud!” Andy responds and you roll your eyes.

You’ve been awake for all of 20 minutes and you already have a fucking headache.

“Y/N, are you up?” Jacob asks as he knocks on the door to his bedroom, “I’ve-we’ve got news for you!”

“Jesus, are you two pregnant?” you laugh awkwardly as you open the bedroom door.

“No, not yet,” Jacob laughs “we got the place! Took longer than we wanted, but we got the place we wanted!”

“That’s amazing! Jake, I’m so damn happy for you!” you smile as you wrap him in a hug. “You too, Sarah!” you beam as you let go of him and wrap her in a hug just as tight.

As you two break apart, you can tell by the look on her face that she knows something is wrong.

“Hey, what is this I hear about you getting a place?” Andy bellows as he walks out of his bedroom with just his pajama pants on.

Gorgeous asshole.

“Yeah, we got the call last night at around...7? Sarah’s parents knew before you guys,” Jacob laughs as he goes to give Andy a hug.

“I’m so happy for the both of you!”

“Jesus Andy, what the hell happened to your back?” Laurie questions as she lightly traces her hand over his back.

It’s taking all the strength you have to not face palm yourself.

“What do you mean?” Andy asks, avoiding looking at you as if his life depends on it.

“Your back is covered in marks!”

“I mean I used that back scratch thing you got me-”

“If these are the results, never use it again,” she mutters.

“We should all go out to celebrate,” Jacob suggests and it’s obvious he just wants to get the fuck out of the house.

“Oh, I at least need to shower,” you laugh awkwardly as rub you the back of your neck.

“You can shower here!”

“I don’t wanna wear the same clothes two days in a row. How about we do dinner? That gives everyone time to get ready,” you suggest, thinking it’s the best way to end the most cringe worthy conversation you’ve ever had in your life.

“Dinner is actually a great idea! It gives your father and I enough time to set a reservation and everything,” Laurie squeals, and it pisses you off that you’ve done something to make her happy.

“Sushi?” Sarah smiles, noticing your anxious state.

“If we’re not paying, I don’t care,” Jacob laughs as he wraps his arms around her.

“Tonight is on us, I promise,” Laurie laughs as she takes Andy’s hand in hers.

You want to throw up.

“How does six sound?” you ask as you step into your Vans.

“Six is perfect!”

“Six it is,” you smile at everyone “I’m gonna head out!”

You take your time going down the steps, but the minute you’re outside, you’re practically running to your car.

What the fuck?!

How the hell did everything go so wrong so fast? One minute you’re in heaven with the man of your dreams, the next you’re listening to him lie to his wife about how you mean nothing to him.

Fucking alcohol.

The entire drive back to your place, your phone won’t stop buzzing and you know it’s Andy. You know you shouldn’t be mad at him, and you know he didn’t mean it, but that doesn’t stop the stinging those words left. By the time you’re back at your place, your headache has evolved into a migraine. You finally look at your phone and you have eight unread texts from Andy and two from Sarah.

Babydoll: Okay, what the fuck was that about?

Babydoll: I knew it! I fucking knew it! I knew you two were gonna fuck last night!

Y/N: Please don’t say anything to Jake.

Babydoll: What the fuck happened?!

Y/N: Sleepover tonight? I need a minute to fucking decompress because what the fuck?!

Babydoll: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Y/N: Ugh, we’ll talk about it tonight, just...idk, act normal.

Babydoll: I swear to fuck, you two.

Y/N: Imagine how the fuck I feel.

You take a deep breath before getting out of your conversation with Sarah, and tapping on the text conversation between you and Andy.

My Heart: I am so fucking sorry, sweetheart.

My Heart: It hurt me to say it, but you know I didn’t mean it.

My Heart: Nothing has changed. I love you so much and I want nothing more than to be with you. I will be with you, I promise.

My Heart: Honey, please don’t be mad at me. I just fucking panicked.

My Heart: Just call me when you’re home, okay? Or let me know, and I’ll come over.

My Heart: I just don’t want this to be over as quickly as it started.

My Heart: You know you mean the world to me, please don’t take it to heart.

My Heart: I love you.

Y/N: I can’t talk to you right now, Andy.

My Heart: Please, just call me or let me see you. I don’t want our first argument to be about this.

Y/N: Andy, I can’t fucking do this right now.

My Heart: Well, when can you?

Y/N: I don’t fucking know, Andy! I’m not the one who said that you mean nothing to me!

My Heart: Please, even if it’s just for a moment, just let me plead my case in person!

Y/N: I really just can’t fucking do this right now. I need to lay down and I need to think.

My Heart: Please don’t change your mind, sweetheart. There’s so much that you still just don’t know yet.

Y/N: I’ll see you later, Andy.

You plop down on your bed and try to calm your emotions, but you can’t. You really shouldn’t be mad at him, because what else was he supposed to do? If Jacob wasn’t in the picture, you’re more than sure he would’ve been fine with telling Laurie the truth, but the fact of the matter is that you both would never want for Jacob to find out that way.

Still, he didn’t have to say that.

You know he feels terrible and he probably felt guilty right after he said it, but it still hurt. The one person who means the world to you and made you feel like the center of his universe, said out loud that you mean nothing to him. Yeah, it was a lie, but it still hurt like a bitch. In that moment, it felt like he was treating you like everyone else in your life had. Your parents, your so called “friends”, all of the guys you had dated...trauma is a son of a bitch.

As you toss and turn, trying to find some peace of mind and get some rest, your mind can’t stop going over last night. The more you keep trying to tell yourself that it was just sex, the more you know it’s all bullshit. No, it wasn’t traditional love making, but you felt his passion in every thrust. You felt his desire in every kiss, you saw the love in his eyes, and you felt care in his every touch.

Andy wasn’t trying to play you for a fool, and you know that in your heart of hearts, Andy’s love for you is just as genuine as yours is for his. So why can’t you just get the fuck over it? You know he didn’t mean it, so why isn’t it enough to just let it go and pretend you didn’t hear it?

Because he’s everything to you.

Nonetheless, by the time five o’clock rolls around, you’re dragging your feet about getting ready. You take the longest shower you’ve probably ever taken in your life, and you take your time picking out your outfit. Yeah, Andy’s sorry and feels like shit, but you still decide that torturing him all through dinner is your best move. It’s getting closer to summer, so the weather is nice enough that you can dress in something that’ll make him salivate.

You decide on one of your more flirty white crop tops, and your light blue denim jean shorts that hug your ass perfectly. Seeing as you just got a mani and a pedi last week, it’s only fair that you wear your favorite pair of open toed white sandals. Yes, it’s petty and unnecessary, but if he’s going to pretend that you mean nothing to him, why shouldn’t you pretend that he means nothing to you?

It’s childish, but fuck all if you aren’t tired of being made to feel like shit by those who mean the most to you.

You park right next to Laurie’s car when you pull up to the restaurant and fight the urge to key her car when you get out, telling yourself that would be taking it too far and she isn’t worth it.

“I love that shirt!” Sarah beams as you make your way over to the table where everyone is seated.

Andy looks up at you and almost chokes on his drink.

Good.

“I figured I’d finally pull something out of my closet that’s appropriate for the season. The weather is finally nice enough,” you chuckle as you take a seat, “did I miss anything?”

“The waitress took drink orders, so I got you a whiskey neat,” Jake shrugs, not even bothering to look up from his menu.

“You know me so well. So, tell me all about the new place!”

“It’s gorgeous!” Sarah squeals. “It’s a two bedroom, it’s not far from where Jacob is gonna start working after graduation, it’s only 20 minutes from my job, it’s not far from you at all, and it feels like home as soon as you step inside! You’re gonna help us move in, right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it!”

“You sure you won’t get cold in that shirt?” Laurie asks with a small laugh, but the look in her eyes lets you know that she’s pissed.

“Well, it’s 72 degrees outside, so I think I’ll be okay,” you smile softly.

“Leave her alone, Laurie. She’s a gorgeous young woman, let her take advantage of the nice weather. Especially after that shit show of a storm we had last night.”

Now it was Sarah’s the one chocking on her drink.

“Yeah, what the hell was that? That was insane!” Jacob laughs incredulously, completely oblivious to the tension.

As usual.

“I owe you a new bottle of whiskey,” you laugh, looking down at your menu, realizing that you don’t have a clue as to what you’re gonna eat.

“No, it’s my fault. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s really not a big deal. You didn’t know it was gonna happen. Besides, I had fun,” you smirk, and you see Sarah’s eyes go wide from the corner of your eye.

“What did you get into?” Laurie questions, trying to hide the alarm in her tone.

“Played some of Jacob’s games, watched some movies on TCM, and had small talk with Mr. Barber when I went downstairs to get myself another drink.”

“Oh? What about?”

“What it’s like to be satisfied after living a life where you haven’t been.”

“What are you satisfied about?”

“Work is finally going the way I want it to,” you lie with a pleasant smile, before looking up at Laurie.

“Has anyone been able to figure out what they want? Everything sounds amazing and I love sushi too much,” Sarah laughs awkwardly, and the look on Andy’s face lets you know that he’s trying his best to contain his amused his smirk.

“I’m pretty sure I know what I’m getting. Y/N?” Jacob questions looking over to you.

“Well, I’m definitely gonna have the pork goyza for for my appetizer, but I’m on the fence about what I want as my main course.”

“What are you stuck between?” Andy asks with a smile that makes you weak.

“The spicy salmon maki and the tempura maki.”

“I’m having the same issue,” he chuckles.

“How about I get the spicy salmon, you get the tempura maki, and we’ll split it?”

“Sounds good.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jacob interrupts “you’re my splitting food buddy!”

“We can still split fried handmade spring rolls.”

“Alright, then you and my dad can split whatever, I don’t care,” he smiles as he closes the menu and you shake your head. “How about you mom?”

“How about me what?” she smiles, finally turning her attention from you to Jacob.

“What are you gonna get?”

“Oh, pad thai. As always,” she shrugs.

As the evening goes on, you truly wonder how Jacob has no clue what’s going on. Laurie glares at you on and off, Andy is doing all he can not to look at you, Sarah is doing her best to pretend she doesn’t have a clue as to why there’s so much tension, you barely look at Andy or Laurie, and then there’s Jacob.

So completely ignorant to everything that’s going on, and you envy him so much. They really weren’t lying when they said that ignorance is bliss. However, this also makes you wonder how the hell you’re gonna tell him about you and Andy.

Is there even anything to tell?

Of course there is. It’s one argument and Andy didn’t even mean it. But still. Can he handle it? Can you handle it? Your heart has never burned for anyone before, and Andy is all you’ve ever wanted and more, but will he still want you once everything comes out? Will he be willing and ready to to handle the shit show that’s bound to take place when Laurie loses her shit? Is he ready to argue with Jacob? Handle Jacob not wanting to talk to him?

Will he still truly love you?

By the time everyone is finished with dinner, you have a migraine.

“Can we get separate checks?” you ask the waitress as she comes to collect the empty plates.

“Oh no! This is on Andy and myself!” Laurie exclaims with a false smile.

The last thing you want is a fucking handout from Laurie Barber.

God, it fucking sucks that they still share a last name.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. This was to celebrate Sarah and Jacob. I’m fine to cover my end,” you smile at her before turning your attention to the waitress, “my drinks and what I ordered can go on a separate bill.”

She only smiles and nods before walking off.

“I feel awful,” Laurie chuckles.

“It’s perfectly fine. I got a raise, so it’s actually affordable.”

“You got a raise?!” Jacob exclaims.

“It’s a recent development.”

“Why do I feel like I never know what’s going on in your life?”

“Because I never know what’s going in my life.”

“Anything else I should know about?” he asks with a small laugh.

Oh Jacob, there’s so much more you need to know.

“I think we’re all caught up,” you lie with a plastic smile as the waitress returns with the checks.

You’ve never been more excited to get out a place so fast.

“Alright, we’re moving the beginning of next month, you sure you’ll be able to help out?” Jacob asks as all of you stand in front of your car.

“I don’t care if I just have to pull a no-call/no-show, I’m going to be there. This is a huge step and I’m more than happy to be there for you!”

“You’re the best friend I could ever ask for,” Jacob smiles as he engulfs you in a tight hug.

You hate keeping all of this a secret from him.

“I’ll text you all of the information later, okay?”

“Sounds good to me,” you smile at him as you force yourself to hold back tears.

You’ve never lied to Jacob, and a lie this big feels like the worst betrayal in the world. But how do you tell him? How do you make him understand?

You get into your car and quickly start it before almost speeding off. The entire drive you’re at war with yourself, because for as terrible as you feel, it’s not enough to make you want to stop. It’s not enough to pull you away from Andy. It’s not enough to convince you that all of this is a bad idea. In fact, you’re not sure if anything is capable of making you feel that way. Andy has been the center of your universe since you two spent that night eating ice cream on the hood of his car, and it’s only grown over time. For as much as you’re terrified of what’s to come, it’s not enough to make you quit on the both of you.

It’s not enough to make you stop loving him.

The second you step foot back inside your apartment, you kick off your shoes and make yourself a drink.Yes, they’re better ways to handle the situation, but you aren’t interested in any of that right now. You just want Andy and you want to be numb.

You’re alone for an hour before you hear, “bitch, open up! We gotta talk!”

You can’t help but giggle as you make your way over to the door and open it, “took you long enough.”

“What the fuck was that?!” Sarah exclaims as she makes her way inside your apartment. “You two are insanely cute, but in front of Laurie?! What the fuck?!”

“I don’t understand what the hell that was either.”

“Okay, lets rewind. What the hell happened last night?” Sarah asks as she makes her own drink.

“Well, when I got there yesterday, I saw Andy’s car but no one answered when I called out, so I assumed I was alone. When I woke up and discovered that not only was I not seeing you and Jacob, but also wouldn’t be able to leave, I put on Jacob’s hoodie, and finished off his whiskey. I wanted to get drunk so I could go to bed, so I went downstairs, without pants, to steal a bottle.”

“Ah shit.”

“And guess who was sitting in the dark, drunk, and watching the Turner Classic Movies channel?”

“Jacob said Mr. Barber’s been into black and white films a lot lately. Wait, why weren’t you wearing pants?”

“I thought I was alone and don’t like sleeping in pants when I’m alone.”

“That’s fair, so what happened?”

“He asked why I came downstairs and I told him that I was gonna grab a glass and a bottle of something to drink, and he told me to grab a glass and have a seat with him.”

“You didn’t think to put on pants?”

“When I said I would, he told me it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.”

“Come again?!”

You sigh as you get up, going into your bedroom and grabbing the picture  he gifted you on Christmas,

“He came by on Christmas and left this and a key chain gifted in front of my door. When he was back in his car, he called me and we talked for a bit. I sat in my window sill,” you nod over to the window, “and I wasn’t wearing any pants. Nothing had happened at that point.”

“When did you two take this photo? You both look so happy,” she smiles softly.

“We used to go on late night drives together. When he couldn’t sleep, he would pick me up and we’d hangout. Sometimes we’d just drive around and talk, other times we’d get food. That was a selfie I took of us the first time we hung out. We got ice cream at 2am and stayed up till the sun came up. That was the night I realized that I’m in love with him,” you finish in almost a whisper as you tear a little.

“Y/N-”

“Anyway,” you interrupt as you clear your throat “that’s what he meant. I grabbed a glass and sat down next to him and he vented. Apparently, Laurie had a full blown affair the first time she cheated. The guy would buy her flowers, take her on dates, get them hotel rooms, they fucked quite a lot...it was a whole thing. However, when she came clean to Andy, he forgave her cause he wanted to make it work. Then, a few months ago, maybe a year at this point I’m not too sure, she cheated again because he didn’t answer his phone and she got all pissy. So, that’s why he started yelling about a divorce that night you told me Jacob told you about-”

“Hold the fuck up! She did what?! And she’s treating you like shit?! You and Mr. Barber?! JACOB DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU ARE WAY NICER THAN SHE DESERVES, BUT SHE’S GONNA GIVE YOU BOTH A HARD TIME?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Yeah, that’s only part of what I’m feeling,” you scoff, finishing off your drink and pouring yourself another. “So, I started to tell him that I was sorry and he told me I had no reason to be sorry. He told me how much he loves me, how much he wants to be with me and he doesn’t understand why we can’t be...when I went to tell me to stop, he told me to get on his lap...I couldn’t have stayed away if I had tried. It doesn’t help that I’ve craved nothing but his touch since the last time we made out-”

“Back the fuck up, you two did what now?!”

“The night I bailed on you guys because I was fed up with my day, I went to a club and Andy was there with his friends, because Laurie wanted him out of the house since I was supposed to be there. He begged me to let him take me home, because he couldn’t stand to see me leave with another man. We got to my place, things were said, he brought me upstairs and as he was about to leave, I grabbed him and kissed him. We made out for all of 5 minutes before he stopped it. He felt bad because I was drunk and he said it felt like he was taking advantage of me.”

“You kissed him!”

“That’s what I said, but he said it didn’t matter. Anyway, last night...we fucked around a little on the sofa, then we went upstairs and into his bedroom and...,” you trail off and a small smile comes to your face at the memory.

“Okay, I know I shouldn’t ask because he’s my boyfriend’s dad, but you gotta tell me,” she giggles and you burst out laughing.

“Not exaggerating, the best I’ve ever had. I swear to God, that man worked my body like a fucking fiddle! He’s not selfish, he’s skilled with every part of his body, he takes his time....last night was a fucking dream, and after...he was so fucking sweet and gentle. He was reassuring and held me so close, like he was afraid I wouldn’t be there in the morning.”

“That’s so fucking sweet,” Sarah smiles, curling her legs up on the sofa.

“It was, then morning came,” you scowled.

“What happened this morning?”

“Well, he woke me up and got me all worked up, and we had just started when Laurie came home. I’ve never gotten of bed so fucking fast in my life. I ran across the hall naked, holding onto Jacob’s hoodie and my bra as if my life depended on it and-”

“What about your panties?!”

“I didn’t get those back,” you chuckle with a smirk.

“I swear to God, you two are meant for each other,” she laughs and you laugh softly with her.

“So, I get to Jacob’s room and start getting dressed fast as fuck, because for whatever reason, I was afraid she’d walk in. Anyway, she gets upstairs and starts laying into Andy about why he didn’t answer his phone, why did he let me stay over, why he’s naked, and she wouldn’t let up. Eventually, Andy got fed up and said that I mean nothing to him and she needs to drop it.”

“I mean, I get why he said it, but he definitely could’ve said something else.”

“My fucking sentiments exactly. I guess tonight he was trying to show me how sorry he truly was, and of course, Jacob was completely oblivious to all of it. I just don’t know.”

“Babe, I know it hurt, but we both know he didn’t mean it.”

“It’s just triggering, because it’s always me that ends up getting hurt. I know Andy isn’t a bad guy, and I know he’d never purposely hurt me, but the fear is still there and hearing him say that...it just triggered all of my insecurities and fears. Will he love me enough to stay if Jacob gets mad about us? Will he stay when Laurie gets mad and turns the town against us? Will he be ashamed when the town turns up their noses up at us? Yeah, he says no, but a lot of people have told me a lot of things,” you sniffle as you dry your eyes.

“Oh sweetie,” Sarah sighs as she moves closer to you and wraps you in a tight hug, “this isn’t anything like those other times. He’s not your parents, he’s not Mr. Fucking Matthews, and he isn’t like any of those other assholes you dated.”

“I just don’t know,” you sob.

“It’s gonna be okay, babe. You’ll see,” she promises gently as she strokes your back.

Sarah’s words roll around in your head as she tries to calm you down, and you know she’s making perfectly good sense, but everything happened so fast today...you just can’t quiet the fear.

As you cry into Sarah’s shoulder, you wonder if the fear will ever pass or if it’ll live loudly inside of you forever.

You wonder if you’ll ever feel like you’re good enough for Andy Barber.

Andy’s P.O.V

“She’s gorgeous, Andy? Really? You didn’t even try and hide the fact that you were flirting with her!” Laurie barks as I take some clothes out of my drawer.

“You believe whatever you want, I truly don’t give a damn.”

“And you said nothing happened last night! I wouldn’t count a fucking conversation as nothing!”

“I suppose I could’ve taken her to a hotel, fucked her all night, come creeping back in early in the morning, then lie to your face about where I’ve been all night!”

“Andy, it’s like you two were on your own little date!”

“I can’t help the fact that you hate her, Laurie. That’s something you need to work out in your own time,” I sigh, fed up with lying.

I don’t want to hide you, or us. I don’t want to say things that’ll hurt you or draw attention to us, I sure as shit don’t wanna sneak around, and I don’t ever want to make you feel less than.

How could I fucking say that?

‘She means nothing to me.’

Of all the fucking things to say, I had to go and say that. You’re good at masking your facial features, but your eyes said it all: my words cut you right to your core. You didn’t even want to talk to me, and I can’t find any fault with that. After so many other people have said one thing and done another, I had to go and sound like another asshole.

Fuck, everything was so perfect, then fucked up almost instantly. Fucked up because of my inability to think fast, which is saying something, cause I’m a fucking lawyer.

“Are you even listening to me, Andy?” Laurie sighs, putting her hands on her hips.

“No. Listen, I don’t feel like doing this tonight, so I’m not going to.”

“Andy, please-”

“Laurie, I’m gonna be out late and I’ll be sleeping on the sofa when I get back. I’m gonna start packing tomorrow. Make this easier for the both of us and just sign the damn papers. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this with you.”

“There’s still so much more-”

“There’s nothing left for us, Laurie. Do whatever you need to, to deal with that, but you do need to finally accept and deal with it.”

I hear her breakdown and start to cry as I turn to leave, and while I feel bad for being so blunt with her, I don’t know how else to approach this anymore. I’m through with keeping you on the sidelines, and I’m done trying to keep Laurie happy.

You are my main concern now. You are the only one I’m concerned with keeping happy, and I’m ready to do whatever I need to do to prove it to you.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“How have I never heard this album before?” Sarah asks, drink in hand, as she drunkenly dances around to ‘Tony Adams’ by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros.

“You can’t always be cooler than me,” you tease before getting up, grabbing your cup, and making your way into your kitchen, “do we wanna eat?”

“When don’t we wanna eat?” she laughs.

“That’s a very good point,” you murmur, opening the door and seeing what you have available to you. “How about-”

You’re interrupted by a knock on door.

“Probably Jacob feeling left out,” you giggle to yourself as you open your door. “Oh.”

Andy doesn’t say a word, he just wraps his arms around you, pulls you close, and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in decades. Your only response is to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back.

For as hurt as you are, you’ll never turn down a soul stirring kiss from Andy. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, you’re not sure yet, but right now, you just don’t care.

“You’re drunk again,” Andy breathes once you two break apart.

“I told you I have a tendency to drink too much at times,” you mumble, still in a daze from his kiss.

“I don’t like you drinking to solve your problems. Especially when you’re alone.”

“Oh, I’m not alone,” you laugh softly, moving your head to the side so he can see Sarah standing in your living area.

“Hey there, Mr. Barber,” she chuckles.

“Oh...hey, Sarah,” he greets awkwardly and you can’t help but laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go watch YouTube videos in Y/N’s room. You two lovebirds workout whatever is wrong,” she hums before practically running to your bedroom and closing the door behind her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Andy-”

“No, you don’t know how much I regretted it as soon as I said it. I didn’t mean a word of it. You mean everything and I’m so sorry I hurt you like that.”

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not, so don’t pretend that it is. Don’t lie to me.”

“She’s your wife,” you scoff as you let him go.

“Don’t. Don’t act like it’s something I want.”

“She still hasn’t signed. Lets move you out of the doorway, I don’t need anyone seeing me be a man stealing whore,” you mutter, breaking out of his hold and stepping to the side so he can come in.

“Should I just come back when you’re sober?”

“You should come back when you’re divorced.”

“Honey, there’s just so much more you don’t know.”

“Did she sign the papers?”

“Honey-”

“Did she sign the fucking papers, Andy?!” you snap, slamming your hand down on the kitchen island.

“I’m trying.”

“Okay.”

“I want to be with you! I want to be out in the open with you! Give me the okay and I’ll go back to that house right now and tell her everything! I’ll tell her that I’ve been in love with you since I helped you move into this loft, I’ll tell her that we made love last night, I’ll tell her that I’ve never felt so strongly as for anyone as I do for you! Give me the okay and I’ll do it!”

“You can just do that to Jacob?”

“He’s an adult-”

“He’s your son!”

“He’ll get over it!”

“Why are you here?!”

“Because I love you! I am so in love with you and I...last night, I wasn’t saying a bunch of words to get you into bed. I meant everything-”

“But your first thought to respond with was ‘she means nothing to me’?”

“I panicked!”

“Andy, I love you, but I really don’t have the energy to jerked around-”

“We can do this. It’s messy and it’s fucked up, but we’ll figure out a way to tell Jacob and we’ll be together. I told you, I don’t give a fuck about what anyone in this town has to say and I don’t give a fuck how Laurie feels. I just want you, sweetheart. I told you that you’ve always been my dream and that wasn’t bullshit. You’re a dream worth chasing and I’m gonna chase you until we’re a reality.”

“Andy...”

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll do everything in my power to prove to you that this is real.”

“You can’t stay here tonight,” you sniffle, trying to hide your tears, “Sarah’s staying here.”

“I had a feeling,” he laughs “lets do lunch tomorrow?”

“We’ll figure-”

“Y/N, I know you and Sarah are having girl’s night or whatever, but I need to talk to you!” Jacob calls from the other side of your door.

“For fucks sake, is my place just the place to be tonight?!” you mutter furiously as Andy chuckles softly and Sarah runs out of your bedroom.

“Time for us to trade places, bud,” Sarah awkwardly smiles as she ushers Andy into your bedroom.

“Where’s your key?” you question, trying to sound as normal as possible, getting yourself together.

“I don’t know, it was on my nightstand and now it isn’t, can you open up?”

“Babe, give us a second, you’re catching us mid-concert,” Sarah responds with a faux laugh, looking at you with concerned eyes.

You give her a small nod as she draws a deep breath before opening the door.

“Someone’s impatient,” she chuckles as she steps aside, letting him in.

“I don’t mean to be a dick, and I tried to wait, but I just needed to talk about it. Was tonight weird to anyone besides me?”

“Weird how?” you ask while making him a drink.

“My parents were more socially awkward than usual. My dad calling you gorgeous? What the fuck was that?”

“Why was that weird?”

“Don’t start that. You know you looked great, but my dad isn’t like every other old pervert in this town.”

“Your dad isn’t old, Jacob,” you scowl as you grab your glass, pouring yourself a drink.

“I know guys his age are more your style, but to me, he’s old. Plus, he and my mom got into a pretty loud screaming match before he stormed out.”

“What about?”

“I don’t know, I sat out on the porch and drank a beer. I think all of this is starting to take a toll on my him,” he huffs as he takes a seat at the kitchen island, sipping on his drink.

“I’m sure he’s doing his best to sort things out,” you sigh as you sit across from him.

“Should I say something to him?”

“Have you spoken to him at all about how you feel?”

“No. He’s been so calm and collected about all of this, but he went out of his way to hurt my mom tonight and that’s not him at all. I’ll talk to both of them separately.”

“How did he go out of his way to hurt her?”

“The comment about you being gorgeous, you two bonding over fucking food, the little jokes.”

“Why does that mean he went out of his way to hurt her? Andy and I just have a lot in common!”

“Andy?”

“Jacob, it’s late and I’ve been drinking. I’m not about to be formal every five seconds, it’s just us three.”

“You don’t think it was a little weird?”

“I mean, I think your dad is hot, so no,” you shrug as Sarah chokes on her drink.

“You know what you don’t need to tell me?”

“You asked.”

“That’s the last thing I need; my dad having a mental fucking breakdown and start dating someone my age.”

“I’ll drop off an application.”

“Please stop,” he groans as he lays his head on the table.

“Well Jacob, what exactly are you expecting him to do? Get divorced and be alone for the rest of his life?”

“No, I just...I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past few days. I want them to divorce, it’ll be best for him, but I don’t...it’s always been the three of us. Whether it was healthy or not, it’s the only family I’ve known, and we’ve been through hell and back. I don’t know if I’ll ever accept either of them having anyone else in their lives, but I want him to be happy. I want them both to be happy,” he finishes with a heavy sigh.

How the hell are you and Andy supposed to tell him now?

“If he settled down with someone younger, would it really be so bad?” you ask timidly, terrified of the answer.

“It wouldn’t be my first or second choice, but it wouldn’t be awful. If he’s truly happy, I won’t care,” he mutters softly with a frustrated sigh, finishing off his drink.

You force yourself to swallow down the lump in your throat. You blink away tears trying to accept that if you pursue a relationship with Andy, it may be the end of your friendship with Jacob.

“Guess we’ll just have to see how it all plays out,” you shrug with a meager smile.

“What should I even start off with?”

“Just tell them how you feel, separately, of course.Yeah, you’re moving out, but they’re still your parents, and it’s taking a toll on you. You can tell it’s taking a toll on them. You need them to get it together.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

He takes a deep breath before rubbing the back of his neck and standing up. You can feel the heaviness he’s trying to ignore, and you’re torn because you don’t want to cause him anymore stress and frustration; but you just love Andy so damn much.

Why does all of this have to be so damn complicated?

“I’ll let you guys get back to your night, keep an eye on her,” Jacob chuckles with a nod towards Sarah, who flips him off in return. “I love you both, talk to you later.”

You start crying the second he’s out the door.

“He’ll come around,” Andy coos softly as he steps out of your room.

“He’s gonna fucking hate me!”

“No, he’s really not,” Sarah tries to reassure you, occupying the seat that Jacob was in. “He’ll throw a hissy fit, probably won’t talk to you for a month or two, and then he’ll apologize and ask to talk it out. He’s emotional, not a complete idiot.”

“You both heard him! He said-”

“He said as long as I’m truly happy, he’ll accept it. Listen to me, honey,” Andy starts, gently pulling you out of your seat and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close. “This isn’t a breakdown or some sort of crisis. I love you. I am so insanely in love with you to the point that it terrifies me because I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I don’t want to fuck this up, I don’t want you to get hurt, and I don’t want you to quit on us. We both did our best to avoid this, but it was pointless because look where we are. I’m so happy when I’m with you, and for once, life makes sense. You are worth everything to me and I will be with you. It won’t be a secret and it’ll work out fine.”

“Jacob-”

“I’ll deal with Jake, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure out a way to get Laurie to sign those damn papers, and then I’ll tell him-”

“We’re in this together, Andy. We’ll tell him together. If we’re gonna do this, really do this, we should do it together.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can’t leave you to face all the hard shit alone. That’s not how relationships work, well not how a healthy one works. I wanna be all in with you. Even the hard stuff.”

“You two,” Sarah whispers with a grin as her eyes start to water.

“Shut up,” you scoff, drying your own eyes.

“Sarah, I’m sorry you’re in the middle of all this-”

“It’s fine, Mr. Barber. You both deserve a win and I’m happy you two have each other. I’m more than happy to keep my mouth shut until you guys figure it out.”

“Thank you,” Andy smiles with a nod before turning his attention to you. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Honey-”

“It’s just going to take some adjusting. All of this is about to get a lot harder before it gets easier and...not every day is going to be amazing. It is what it is, whatever.”

“Don’t make plans next weekend, okay?”

“What? Why not?”

“Just trust me. Please don’t make any plans.”

“Well...okay then.”

“I’m gonna get out of here, I love you, Y/N. I love you so much. Please...don’t change your mind, okay?”

“We’re in it now, so where else is there to go?” you chuckle softly. “I love you too, Andy. Let me know when you’re safe.”

“I always do,” he smiles before kissing your forehead.

He nods towards Sarah before turning and making his way out. Just like that, you feel alone all over again.

“I know I probably shouldn’t be rooting for you two, but you two are just so fucking cute!”

“Sarah,” you scowl and laugh as you get up to make yourself another drink.

“Okay, I gotta ask, what’s the draw? Obviously, it’s not lost on anyone that he’s fucking fine, but what makes him worth...everything?”

“I’m safe with him,” you shrug. “When I’m with Andy, I’m home. My brain never shuts off and it’s always so fucking loud, but with Andy...I’m so calm. Nothing is scary, stressful, or tiring. When I’m with him, I just feel light. Yeah, the one time we had sex was amazing, but it’s so much more than a physical desire. It always has been. We’ve been on so many car rides, had so many conversations, helped each other cope with so much...he just knows me. He gets me, ya know? He’s my home.”

“God, I’m so fucking jealous of you,” she scoffs as she scarfs down her drink.

“What? Why?”

“I want Jacob to feel the same way about me. I want us to have what you and Andy have.”

“Sarah, stop it. You know Jacob is head over heels-”

“I own half his heart, babe,” she smiles softly, getting up and making her way over to the counter to make another drink.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. You can’t tell me that you don’t know.”

“Sarah, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Jacob is in love with you.”

“Stop it! That’s horseshit and you know it!”    

“Do you know how many times I’ve tried to talk myself into believing that? It’s infuriating at times, because I know you have no interest in him, but I see it in him. I see it, how he looks at you, the way he always comes to you for council; like he did tonight-”

“Sarah, there is no one on this planet that Jacob loves more than you. Jacob loves me, but he’s not in love with me.”

“You really are as pure they come,” she chuckles softly, shaking her head.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N, I don’t blame you or like, hate you. There was a point in time when I abandoned Jacob, and we basically broke up. Then, when you came into his life, you just trusted him completely. You were always there for him.”

“Sarah-”

“It’s fine,” she smiles sheepishly, trying to ignore her tears, “you don’t want him at all, so why should I be mad?

“Sarah, you’re drunk and-”

“Trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot,” she laughs humorlessly, “this has nothing to do with me drinking.”

“Is this why you want me with Andy so bad?”

“God no,” she scoffs before taking a sip of her drink, “if anything, it’ll make it worse, but you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy and so will Andy. I don’t tell you that you’re my best friend to make you smile, I say it because you really are my best friend. I want you to succeed, I want you to be happy, and I want things to work out in your favor. I’ve seen all the hurt you’ve gone through and I want better for you.”

“Sarah...why do you-”

“Stay with Jacob? Because I love him,” she states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s never going to cheat on me with you and you’d never let him. He’ll get over it at some point.”

“This isn’t fair or right. I’m ruining everyone’s life.”

“You’re not ruining shit. What’s wrong between Andy and Laurie is on her, and there’s nothing wrong between Jake and I. In all honesty, I don’t even think he knows. That’s part of the reason I didn’t want to meet you in high school,” she laughs, taking a long sip of her drink. “I knew he had a thing for you, but we were trying to work things out. We always joked about being the old couple that were once childhood sweethearts. I was terrified of meeting you, because I was terrified of seeing the person who would take him away from me, but then I met you,” she laughs. “It was so evident how much you weren’t into him.You made it so easy to love you and get to know you, and honestly? I get it. The way you describe Andy? That’s how you make everyone else feel. You don’t understand how much of yourself you give to people. Even if it’s just for a moment, you make people feel like they’re safe, like they have a home. It’s not hard at all too see why Andy is so in love with you.”

You’re thoughtful before you speak: “Sarah, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“What did you and Andy talk about at the Christmas party?”

“I was wondering if you’d ever ask,” she chuckles. “We talked about you and the relationship you two could have. He’s so fucking in love with you. He  said that the only reason he hadn’t made a move was because he wanted you to be as happy as you made him. I told him that he can do that by being with you, but he shook his head. He insisted that you two being together would only complicate your life more, but he wanted nothing more than to be with you. I told him that he’s the piece of your life that’s been missing and he said you’d be happier with someone else, that he didn’t want to weigh you down. So, I asked him why he was willing to suffer if he knew you felt the same way  he did.”

“And?”

“He said he’d be willing to take on all of the pain and suffering in the world if it meant you’d be happy,” she smiles softly.

“Fuck!”

“Y/N-”

“Sarah...you don’t get it. Before I met Andy, I didn’t even feel like I could breathe. Last night, it was all so simple because there was no Laurie and Jacob. No thought of them.We were in our own little world and we were happy. It was peaceful, full of love, happiness, and for once, my life wasn’t a complete shit show. He’s been trying so hard to get her to sign the fucking papers...there were times I completely forgot about Jake. How shitty does that make me? I didn’t think about my own best fucking friend!”

“Babe, you’ve spent the better part of your young adult life looking out for Jake. When it comes to love, you’re allowed to be selfish.”

“Sarah, what the fuck am I gonna do?” you sob as your phone buzzes.

You’re quick to take it out and check, and a smile is instantly painted on your face when you see that it’s Andy.

My Heart: Had to stop to pick up a few things for this weekend, but I’m safe. I love you so much, honey. Counting down the seconds until I can see you again, because I miss the fuck out of you. The day we start living together is gonna be the best fucking day. Please don’t drink too much, okay? We’re gonna figure all this shit out. I love you.

“Sarah, I can’t quit him and I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t,” she smiles at you reassuringly, “fight like hell to make it work.”

As you and Sarah go back to drinking and dancing the night away, one thought is clearer in your mind than it’s ever been: you and Andy are meant to be with one another. By no means will any of it be easy, but you’re more than ready to fight like hell for the love of your life.

You’re more than ready to fight like hell for Andy Barber.

**

Laurie’s P.O.V.

“Andy, can you stop packing for five fucking minutes?!” I sob as he continues to load his clothes into his duffle bag.

“Laurie, I’ve told you multiple times that I’m done, and you won’t fucking hear it. I don’t know what else to do,” he shrugs, a look of pure indifference on his face.

“Andy-”

“You’re the one that cheated. Without saying it out loud, you decided that you don’t want this anymore. You don’t want us. So, I’m moving on. I’ve moved on!”

“Andy, no. You think you’ve moved on, but you’re just-”

“Laurie, I don’t love you. I have no desire to work this out, and I never will again. Please, just let it go and sign the goddamn papers!”

“You just need time,” I sob as he throws up his hands and scowls.

That’s what he used to say to me all the time, and it always worked like a charm; he could always bring me back. However, now? It seems like a lie. I’ve been using the same line for practically a year, and for what? The more I say it, the less he wants me.

Maybe that’s the difference. He was fighting for someone who he truly loved, and somewhere deep inside, I loved him back. Now? I’ve pushed him away so much that he truly is finished with all of this, but now I finally wanna come back.

I finally see what’s worth fighting for.

“Where are you even living now?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m gone for good, and you need to sign the damn papers.”

“You don’t need to be so cold!”

“That seems to be the only way that you’ll respond,” he huffs before closing his bag. “Laurie, at one point, we were lovers and best friends. We have Jacob. I don’t want this to get ugly, so please don’t let it get to that point. He’s moving out, we both know he’s gonna propose to Sarah sooner or later, and you and I both know that we’ve run our course. You can have the house, the cars, you can paint me as the bad guy. I truly don’t care. Please, just let me go.”

“Andy, please, lets just go away-”

“I don’t want to go away!” he finally snaps, causing me to jump just a bit.

Hes never been this way with me.

“Laurie,” he sighs dropping his bag, clearly frustrated and worn out “don’t make me be this guy. The angry husband who has to be an asshole. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to upset you, and I don’t want either of us to hate each other. After all is said and done, I still want us to at least be able to have some sort of healthy relationship. It doesn’t have to be something fueled by hate and anger, it can be amicable. I don’t hate you, Laurie, I just don’t love you anymore,” he sighs before picking up his bag. “Think about it, I’ll see you in a few days.”

As he walks away I can’t help but think back to college. Was this all my fault? He never pursued me, I always wanted him.

He never looked for me, I always looked for him.

“You came!” I beamed as the handsome brunette came walking into my dorm room.

“You made it sound like I’d be missing out on something big if I show up,” he chuckled with a bright smile.

I’d been daydreaming about the smile since I first saw it two weeks ago in the campus library.

“You didn’t bring anyone?” I asked, hopeful that I wasn’t about to make myself look like a complete fool.

“No one to bring. I spend most of my time studying or working. That’s why I decided maybe it would be nice to go to a party. Thanks for invitin’ me.”

“Thanks for showing up,” I replied, and I could tell my cheeks were burning red.

From that day on, I looked for him, I waited for him, and I tried to come up with any reason to talk to him, until he finally asked me out. At first, it was exciting and I was enamored with him. Then, after about five months, I started to get lazy and he took notice. It’s not even that I stopped loving him, but I realized I wanted to be young and experience college as a single woman. Neither of us said a thing about it, but I could tell he knew and that I’d hurt him.

Then I started seeing him hanging around with some girl and it made my blood boil.

He was mine.

So, I showed up at his dorm one day and when he opened the door, I practically pounced on him, and of course he didn’t say no. Of course, my little impulsive act ended up with me pregnant, and he was a saint about it. Why wouldn’t he be?

Andy is the sweetest soul on earth; he always has been.

Everything was perfect for a while. Even with school being as demanding as it was, Andy was a loving and doting father. I wasn’t surprised that he proposed, and I was more than happy to say yes. I wanted nothing more than to devote myself to him forever.

For a while, it was perfect. We had the perfect life. Sure, I looked at other men sometimes, just wondering what it would be like to have the freedom to do whatever I wanted, but I never acted on anything. I had a good life, why mess it up?

Then, Jacob’s trial.

Even after everything that happened; the arguments, the trial, the sleeping in separate rooms...the accident...he still treated me like I was the center of his universe, and loved me unconditionally.

But I felt betrayed.

How could he not tell me about his father? Yeah, it’s his life and he’s allowed his secrets, but I’m his wife! So, after all was said and done, even with him being as amazing as he was, I still cheated. I cheated because I wanted him to feel as betrayed as I did. I seduced his best friend, best man at our wedding, and fucked him in the backseat of our car. It should’ve been quick and dirty, but I fucked up and let it turn into something that it should’ve never been.

It was nice to feel like I was a priority, to feel beautiful, and just get away from the weight that now comes with being a Barber. The flowers, gifts, the sneaking...it all felt new and exciting. I felt young again.

Andy started to notice of how distant I was becoming and offered to take me  on a trip, or pay for me to go on my own trip, and that’s when the guilt set in. I was out being the world’s worst wife, and he was still trying to take care of me. So, I broke off the relationship and came clean to Andy.

He didn’t even say a word, and to be honest, he didn’t need to. The look in his eyes told me everything. I had crushed him and instantly felt terrible. I was so ready for him to demand a divorce, and a small part of me wanted him to, but he just stormed out and spent the rest of the night driving around. Of course, Andy being the amazing man he is, came back in the morning and told me he loved me and wanted to work it out.

That should’ve been enough for me and I should’ve been happy, but of course I wasn’t. I dug my nails in and did my best to make sure that no one would ever be able to steal him from me, including making sure he never met Y/N. Yes I’m the one that made the mess, and it was obvious that she’d done nothing wrong, but still. Enough people talk and word gets around. It was irrational, mean, and dumb, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

All my hard work and it did nothing.

I messed everything up out of pure fear and jealousy, but it was nowhere near as bad as the last time. I knew it pushed him to his wits end, but it’s something I know we can make our way back from it.

But now? After that dinner for Jacob and Sarah?

God, the way he looked at Y/N that night? Is she the one he’s in love with? No, she can’t be. It’s just not possible. He wouldn’t do that to Jacob, and she’s so damn young. 24? 25? He’d never go for someone her age.

No, whoever has his attention...I can fix it. I can make it right and do better this time. I know it took me forever to realize it, but I truly do love Andy, and I’ll do anything I can to prove that to him.

I can fix this.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“What?!” you snap as you answer your phone, making your way into your loft.

“What did I do? I’m sorry,” Andy starts and you instantly feel bad.

“I didn’t check my phone before I answered. I’m sorry, what’s up?”

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Sweetheart, talk to me.”

“I’m just fucking fed up.”

“With what?”

“With everything!”

“Baby, what happened?”

“Fucking...Andy, I miss you,” you sigh as you sit down on your bed, kicking off your shoes before taking your hair out of a ponytail and laying down.

“I miss you too, honey. Talk to me, what happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“How can I help?”

“Come over.”

“I can’t, I’m gonna see you tomorrow though.”

“Why not now?”

“You’ll know tomorrow.”

“I need you now.”

“What do you need?”

“For you to make me feel better.”

Andy chuckles before responding,” how can I make you feel better right now?”

“I wanna see you.”

In just a matter of moments your phone is buzzing and you know it’s Andy FaceTiming you.

“Where are you?” he asks, looking over you as much as he can as you unbutton the top two buttons on your blouse.

“I’m home, in bed.”

“Now, how am I supposed to make you feel better if you’re in bed?”

“I think you know, daddy,” you pout as you continue to unbutton your blouse.

“It hasn’t even been a full week, sweetheart,” he chuckles, but his gaze is intense.

“You made me feel so good.”

“Only once and you’re already so desperate?”

“Please come over, daddy.”

“No, but I’ll watch you get yourself off,” he states with an authoritative voice.

And just like that, your pussy is more than desperate for him.

“Daddy-”

“Lick two fingers then rub your clit.”

“Please-”

“Don’t be a brat. Do what daddy told you to.”

“Fuck,” you sigh, bringing one of your hands to your mouth, licking and sucking two of your fingers, then hiking up your skirt and pushing your panties to the side and playing with your clit. “Daddy,” you moan pathetically.

“What do you want me to do to you?”

“I want...I want you to eat my pussy so bad! It felt so good having your tongue on me!”

“Yeah? What else, baby?”

“Daddy, please just come over. I haven’t seen or felt you all week and I’m going crazy! I miss you so much,” you whine pathetically.

“I feel the same, honey, but if I come over, I won’t leave. Just gotta wait, sweetheart,” he broods as you hear him undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants. “Now, tell daddy what else you want him to do to you.”

“I need to feel your lips on me. I need you to kiss me like you did when you were carrying me up the steps, I need to feel just how much you love me before you’re mean to me!”

“Mean to you how?”

“Make me choke on your fat cock, daddy! Make me take every inch of it, then fuck me like a slut, please!”

“Jesus Y/N,” he growls, “lick your fingers then tell me how you taste,” he demands, voice rough and coarse.

“Mmm, so fucking good!”

“Shit, I can only fucking imagine! Now, be a good girl and start fucking yourself with those fingers, baby. Fuck yourself and cum hard for daddy.”

“Shit, I miss you so much, daddy!”

“I miss you too, baby. Can’t fucking wait...can’t wait to see you and bend you over tomorrow!”

“Jesus daddy!”

“Gonna spread those fucking legs and eat that pussy so good, then I’m gonna taste that ass...fuck!”

“Shit!” you cry out, cumming hard, and almost dropping your phone.

“Fuck, sweetheart!” Andy groans softly as you see bits of his cum landing on a desk.

“Where...where are you, daddy?”

He takes his time, collecting himself and regulating his breathing, before he answers, “at work.”

“Andy!”

“It’s alright,” he laughs softly, “no one’s here and the door is closed.”

“You can’t do that, daddy.”

“Well, I can’t exactly do this where I live.”

“You could’ve come over.”

“I told you, sweetheart; if I would’ve come over, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.”

“It’s not like that’s a bad thing,” you sigh, finally meeting his warm and loving gaze.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve had an attitude all week, you’ve been distant, and I know you were crying before you answered the phone last night.”

“Andy-”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just hate this fucking week.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t seen you, my mother is in one of her rage moods; which is apparently my fault cause I don’t go and see her, my fucking heel broke the other day and I stepped in a fucking puddle, my boss actually fucking put his hand on my upper thigh today-”

“I’m sorry, he did what?”

“It’s fine-”

“It’s not fucking fine!”

“Andy, calm down. It’s fine, I told him it made me uncomfortable and-”

“We’re finding you a new job.”

“You’re sweet,” you chuckle softly, sitting up and taking off your blouse, “I have bills to pay.”

“We’ll live together soon enough, it won’t matter.”

“Yeah okay,” you scoff. “Don’t you have to get home to your wife?”

“Don’t. That’s not fair and you know it.”

“Yeah, that’s not fair,” you mutter, rolling your eyes before getting up.

“Sweetheart-”

“Do you fuck her?”

“You know I don’t, I don’t even sleep in the same bed as her!”

“You still live in the same fucking house.”

“Honey, what’s going on?”

“I’m lonely, Andy!” you finally snap as you grab a glass. “It’s been a fucking week and I...I heard you say what you said, I haven’t seen you since, Jacob’s been telling me that he secretly wants you two to work it out, and...what the fuck am I doing?!”

Andy lets out a heavy sigh and it only makes you feel worse. “Do you just wanna break this off now?”

“No,” you sniffle, trying to control your emotions, “I love you. I love you so much, and I just want to be with you, but all of this-”

“It’s not always going to be like this, honey.”

“Andy, are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want me?”

“I’m coming over.”

“Andy-”

“No, I’m on way. I’ll see you in a bit, I love you.”

With that, he hung up and you’re left to wonder what the fuck is going on. For as much as Andy wants to be divorced, he isn’t. For as much as Andy loves you, he still isn’t with you completely. For as good of a mam Andy Barber is, he still isn’t only yours.

But God, does he want to be.

Why are you picking a fight with him? Why are you trying to hurt him? It’s more than obvious that he just wants to love and be with you. Hes spent the entire week staying late in his office, listening to you bitch and complain about your week (at least what you were willing to tell him), and he promised constantly that it would get better. He promised that this wouldn’t be how it’ll always go. He promised that you two would be openly together, and he’d have no issue being with you in front of everyone who has something negative to say.

He told you a million times that he loves you and just how much.

However, there’s still fear, worry, and guilt. Fear that he’ll decide you’re not enough and leave, worry that you’ll fuck it up because you’ve never actually been in a good or healthy relationship, and guilt because you’re sneaking around and lying to Jacob. Yes, Andy was unhappy and trying to get out of his marriage before he met you, but he wasn’t fully committed to it until he met you.

What if Jacob thinks that you’re the one who broke up his family? What if he lashes out at you? What if your best friend decides that he wants to walk out of your life for good? Could you really handle that? Would Andy be able to handle his son being that furious? Would he still choose you?

Yeah, he says that he’s all in and wants nothing more than forever with you, but what happens-

The sharp knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts.

The second you open the door, Andy’s lips are on yours and he’s picking you up. His grip on you is tight as you wrap your legs around him, finally feeling some relief at simply the feel of him.

“Am I sure that I want you? Am I sure that I want us? Honey, I’m never changing my mind,” he whispers, showering soft kisses all along your neck.

“Andy,” you whisper, running your hands through his hair, not caring if anyone sees the two of you.

“You are my whole world now, sweetheart,” he husks as he kicks your door closed. “I desire you. I burn for you. I crave you.”

“Baby please,” you whimper, letting your hands travel down and unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt.

“I want you by my side every second of every day,” he confesses softly, as one hand reaches around and unclasps your bra.

“I...I missed you so much, Andy.”

“I missed you too, baby,” he coos and lays you down, looking you over as he pulls off your bra. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart.”

“You think so, baby?” you moan as you unbutton the rest of his shirt, gripping him tighter with your legs as he takes it off.

“Mhm, I think you were made just for me,” he husks as he unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. “I think you’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever known and most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Then show me, Andy. Take your time and show me,” you beg, unzipping your skirt, right before he pulls it and your panties down.

“I’ll take all night if I have to.”

He dips down and kisses you gently, but there’s an urgency to it, and you instantly know he understands. He knows that this isn’t just about sex; it’s about intimacy and vulnerability. It’s about understanding and honesty.

It’s about trust and love.

“Fuck,” you softly sigh as he thrusts himself inside of you, “I missed you.”

“Finally fucking home, baby,” he groans as he moves slowly and deeper within you.

You cup his face and keep his focus on you, softly stroking the side of it as you try and hold on for the ride. He keeps hitting that spot in you that makes you feel everything all at once, but you’re not ready to reach that euphoric moment. Yeah, it’s only been a week, but Andy was right: you finally feel like you’re home.

“You don’t think I’ve been thinking about you all week? You don’t think I’ve wanted anything more than to be with you?”

“Andy...baby, I just...I needed you here!”

“We’ll be together soon, my love,” he coos as he starts to pick up his pace, “why are you denying me what I want?”

“Want...wanna make it last,” you whine as you arch your back a little, trying to feel as much of him as possible.

“We’ve got all night, baby. Please...give it to me,” he begs earnestly as he rests his head in the crook of your neck. “Let me feel you, I’ve needed it all fucking week!”

“Oh God!”

“I want every part of you, every day, forever, baby!”

“Andy...oh God, Andy YES!” you whimper as you claw at his back. “I can’t...fuck, I can’t...fuck!” you sob as you clench around him.

“The way you squeeze me...honey, you are so perfect!”

“Shit!” you cry out, squirting hard on his cock as you grip him tight.

“So fucking good for me,” he husks as his seed spills into you.

You both stay that way for a moment; lost in each other’s embrace, no sound except each other’s labored breathing, and taking each other in.

This is what you needed. You needed him, his love, and his touch. Sure, you’ve only had his embrace only once before, but all it takes is once. Andy makes you feel everything at once, and it’s something you’ll always need and never tire of. When he loves you like this, kisses you endlessly, and holds you close, you know exactly why you’ll never be able to give him up.

Why you’ll never want to.

“I love you,” he breathes after a moment. “I love you so much, Y/N, and I’m all in. I’m all in for as long as you want me.”

“What if I want you forever?”

“Then I’m in this forever. You’re not gonna scare me off, Laurie isn’t going to scare me into staying, the town can go to hell...I love you. I’m madly in love with you, and nothing’s ever going to change that.”

“Show me.”

“Like I said, baby; we’ve got all night.”

You and Andy spend the next few hours tangled up in your sheets, and getting lost in one another. He doesn’t even bother to answer his phone as it constantly goes off; determined to show you just how in love and dedicated he is to you. Every kiss awakens something in you, every touch sets your skin alight, and every thrust is filled with passion.

Andy is yours just as much you’re his, and no matter how messy things may get, that’s never going to change.

When the both of you finally tire each other out, you both lay back on your bed, and Andy holds you close while you lay your head on his chest.

“You have to go back tonight?” you ask as you make little circles on his chest.

“Unfortunately,” he sighs before kissing the top of your head, “but I promise tomorrow will make you extremely happy.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because that’ll ruin the shocked look on your face tomorrow, and I’ve dreaming of seeing it,” he chuckles and you smile to yourself. “We should order dinner.”

“More like we should make dinner.”

“It can’t be that late.”

“Babe, look at my alarm clock. It’s 9:30,” you laugh and Andy chuckles before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

“Guess I got carried away, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” you giggle, “what do you wanna eat?”

“Well, I already had my favorite meal-”

“Andy!” you laugh as you playfully hit his chest.

“So, I’m fine with whatever.”

“Freezer food okay? I haven’t gone grocery shopping yet.”

“Is it stupid that I’m excited about going grocery shopping with you?”

“Why is that something you’re excited about?” you laugh.

“I don’t even know. It feels so normal? I want every experience with you, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Something as mundane as grocery shopping feels like it would be an adventure with you,” he chuckles. “Maybe I’m just crazy-”

“Andrew Stephen Barber, I am so in love with you. I can’t wait to do everything with you too,” you smile up at him.

“Lets eat something,” he smirks before dipping down and kissing you passionately.

This man is gonna be the death of you. Andy pulls on his boxer briefs as you pull on the AC/DC crew neck he got you, and you both make your way into the kitchen.

“Okay, I have lasagna, hot pockets, anytizers-”

“What do you want?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you as he presses soft kisses along the column of your neck.

“It’s really hard to think when you kiss me like that,” you moan as you lull your head back.

“I’m sure my good girl can think of something,” he presses before lightly licking the side of your neck with the tip of his tongue.

“Daddy...please,” you whimper, getting all worked up again. “We’ve gotta eat.”

“I know what I wanna eat, baby, and it’s nothing that’s in your freezer,” he husks as he hoists you up and places you on the counter top, quickly getting on his knees.

“Daddy-”

“Let daddy enjoy his favorite meal,” he smirks up at you before pushing the bottom of your crew neck up and licking your clit.

“Daddy, we have to...shit, just like that,” you whimper as grip his hair tight, the feeling of his tongue fucking you while he massages your clit with his thumb driving you insane. “You eat my pussy so good, daddy.”

“My perfect, desperate little girl,” he murmurs before sucking on your clit and sliding two fingers into your weeping cunt.

“Oh...daddy,” you moan as you lull your head back against one of your kitchen cabinets.

Needless to say, you two end up back in bed.

Andy loves you until you’re barely able to stand, telling you just how much he loves you and can’t wait to be with you like he really wants to. As he holds close while you drift off, there’s only one thought that runs through your mind:

Andrew Stephen Barber will never stop being the love of your life.

Andy’s P.O.V

“You’re home late,” Laurie mutters with a slight slur as I make my way into the house.

“This isn’t my home anymore, Laurie,” I sigh, taking off my suit jacket and heading to the kitchen.

“You reek of sex.”

“That’s because I just had sex, Laurie.”

“So, you’re cheating now?”

“Cheating would imply that we have some sort of a functioning marriage, which we don’t,” I scowl as pull a package of bread out of the cabinet.

“So, who is it? Who are you so in love with that you don’t want to try anymore? Is it her?” she asks, folding her arms across her chest, losing her balance a little.

“Her who?”

“Andy, don’t be an asshole. Y/N.”

I want to say yes so fucking bad, but I can’t do that to you. I won’t say anything until you’re ready.

“What is your obsession with her?” I scoff, taking ham and cheese out of the fridge.

“You seem to be in love with her, and Jacob is in love with her-”

“I barely know her and Jacob’s in love with Sarah.”

“Well, who is it?”

“Why on earth would I tell you that? So you can go and harass her?”

“Andy, you used to-”

“Laurie, you cheated on me twice, you treat Jacob like shit-”

“I do not!”

“Yeah, alright,” I scoff, putting my sandwich together, wishing I had taken you up on your lasagna offer.

“She’s so fucking great, but she can’t feed you?”

I open my mouth to tell her that my favorite meal today was that perfect little pussy between your legs, but stop short and just scoff and shake my head instead.

‘That’ll be taking it too far, Andy,’ I think to myself.

“I’ve had a long day and I don’t feel like arguing with you, Laurie. That and you’re drunk, so there’s really no point. I’m going to sleep.”

“When are you telling, Jacob, huh? When are you going to tell him that you’re moving out? That you’re fine with breaking up our family?”

“Laurie, you broke up this family when you purposely drove your truck into a wall, trying to kill our son, and when you spread your legs for my best friend.”

“You know that accident was just that! An accident!”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day. Listen, I told you, you can paint me as the bad guy to everyone, you can keep everything, I don’t care. All I want is for you to sign the damn papers. There’s no sense in arguing about this anymore, I’m done. I’ve moved on and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. If you ever truly loved me, if you claim to love me now, then please just sign the damn papers,” I practically beg, feeling a little pain at the tears welling up in her eyes.

I don’t know how else to get through to her.

“Andy, whoever this new woman is that you’re in love with...it’s not going to work out. She’s just gonna hurt you.”

“You say that like you haven’t a thousand times already.”

“I didn’t get it before and I’m sorry. I made mistakes and I know I hurt you, but I can do better now. I will do better!”

“Laurie-”

“Andy please,” she sobs, slowly making her way over to me, “let me show you how much I’ve changed. Give me a month-”

“Laurie, please don’t make this harder than it already is. I just don’t want this anymore...I don’t want you. I don’t want to hurt you, but I just can’t do this anymore. Please, just let this-”

“You loved me before, I know you can love me again,” she whispers before standing on her tiptoes and kissing me.

Nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. It breaks my heart, because there once was a time when I lived for her kisses, but now? Now, nothing. If I’m being honest, I’m almost repulsed. She’s not the woman I fell in love with, but to be fair, I’m not the man she fell in love with.

I’m not sure if I ever really was.

“Sleep in our room tonight, please,” she pleads softly as she takes a step back.

“I’ll be in the spare room downstairs,” I sigh, looking away as her tears start to fall, “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up. I’m moving the last bit of my stuff, and I’ll do my best not to wake you.”

“Andy, please-”

“Goodnight Laurie.”

I quickly make my way downstairs, throwing out the sandwich I made, no longer having an appetite, before getting undressed and stepping into the shower.

This isn’t how I wanted any of this to go, but I don’t know why I expected any of this to go easy. Once Laurie sinks her claws in and sets her sights on something, she doesn’t give up easily. Still, this shouldn’t be the shit show that it is. It shouldn’t be this hard to get some damn closure and just move on. Laurie and I have run our course and I’m so damn tired of this shit.

Tonight with you? It was perfect, but fuck if I don’t hate myself for making you question everything. Question me. I never wanted to be a person in your life that makes you question whether or not love is real, or if it actually even matters. How could I say something that made you feel so horrible less than 24 hours after you completely gave yourself to me? After you told me you trust me completely?

I want everything and every day with you, forever.

If Jacob end up hating me, then so be it. If Laurie rains down all hell fire on my head, then I’ll just deal with it. Nothing and no one is gonna stop me from being with you. Grocery shopping, picking out furniture for our home, taking trips, coming home to you daily...all of these things and more make my heart burst with excitement and pure love.

It’s not lost on me that people are going to see me with you and think that I’m obsessed with someone who’s younger than me, and I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t boost my ego a bit, but it’s so much more than that. You are the most selfless and thoughtful person I’ve ever known. The way you would stick up for Jacob in high school to the point that you would get into fist fights, you would go out of your way to make sure he always felt included, the fact that you got a job to help out with the bills even though it wasn’t on you to fix the damage your father had done, how you took care of your mother after your father abandoned the both of you...

Even now, you’re just taking all of this in stride. Keeping secrets you shouldn’t have to, being so much nicer to Laurie than you should be, keeping Jacob’s feelings in mind, being patient with me while I figure all of this out...you’re so fucking gracious, sweet, and thoughtful. It honestly infuriates me that everyone else just constantly lets you down, over some shit you didn’t even do.

I refuse to be another person that hurts you. I’m gonna stick by you and I’m not leaving your side, come hell or high water, I will be with you and we’ll make it work.

Y/N’s P.O.V

You don’t make much of a fuss about getting out of bed, since you’re a bit sore from your long night with Andy. You’d hoped he’d be good in bed, but you didn’t think he’d be that amazing in bed.

It’s not like you have any complaints. Andy can do whatever he wants to you, and in the end, all you’ll do is thank him and beg for more. No, it’s not necessarily a healthy concept, but there’s comfort in knowing that Andy feels the same way you do. Somehow, the second time around was better than the first.

Probably because you two were both sober this time.

As you roll around in bed, trying to decide if you have the energy to actually start your day, your mind plays over everything Andy said last night; both when he was inside of you and when he wasn’t.

It’s hard not to give into the fear of it all, but how can you not trust him? The way he looks at you, the way he holds you, the way he smiles at you, the way he loves you...it’s all so damn genuine, you know that he means it. He’s not telling you what you want to hear so he can keep getting access to your pussy; it’s obvious that he means every word.

You just have to find the strength to believe everything he’s saying is true.

You’re finally ready to get out of bed when your phone buzzes. The smile that comes to your face almost hurts when you see that it’s Andy. However, you’re completely confused when you open it and see that hes sent you an address.

Y/N: Huh?

My Heart: Meet me here as fast as you can, and bring clothes for the weekend.

Y/N: What’s going on?

My Heart: You’ll see when you get here, so don’t take too long. I love you and I’ll see you soon.

Well, now you’re wide awake and full of energy.

You quickly get out of bed and make your way to your shower, doing your best to ignore all of the anxiety that you feel. They’re not exactly bats in your stomach, but they sure as shit aren’t butterflies. By the time you’re dressed and ready to go , you feel like you’re gonna lose your mind.

Just an address? What the hell does that mean? Yeah, hes talked about you two moving in together all the time, but so soon? When Laurie hasn’t even signed the papers yet?

That’s another thing; how the hell is going to get to her to sign the papers? He’s entirely too kind to actually pressure her into signing the papers, but he’s also fed up with everything. What the hell does he have up his sleeve?

When you finally reach the destination, you’re in pure shock and awe.

What the hell?

“Andy...what is this?” you question as you get out of the car.

“I’ve officially moved out,” he smiles as he wraps his arms around you and dips down to kiss you.

“Someone could see,” you smile sheepishly as you turn your head away from him.

“Who cares?”

“Andy-”

“I told you that I told her I’m in love with someone else, and when she told me I reeked of sex last night, I told her it was because I had sex. I’m not hiding anything from her, because I truly don’t care. No, I haven’t told her that I’m with you, but the second you give me the okay, I’m telling her. I love you, Y/N. I want this. I want us.”

“Andy...,” you start to tear “is this house...?”

“It’s a condo I got for me, but when you’re ready, I would love for it to be ours. There’s no pressure, and we’ll take this at whatever pace you want, but I’m all in,\. I know they’re things you need to figure out on your end, and I’m perfectly fine waiting while you figure it out-”

“How will we tell Jacob?” you interrupt, trying to suppress every emotion you’re feeling as you keep looking over the gorgeous house.

“I was thinking we’d talk about that today,” he smiles at you.

“Is Laurie any closer to signing the papers?”

“I can tell that she’s starting to realize that I’m serious.”

“Andy...are you sure-”

“I love you and I’ve never been more sure of anything. If you don’t want this, I’ll completely understand and I won’t be mad in the slightest, but if you really do want to do this-”

“I know I can’t move in right away, but I’d like to keep some of my stuff here. I’d like to have...I’d like to have my own key,” you almost whisper, trying to convince yourself that all of this actually happening.

“You’re in luck,” he chuckles as he takes a key out from his pocket, “I already had one made for you. This is your home too, sweetheart.”

“Andy-”

“I genuinely want everything with you. I love you, Y/N. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will say it every day until you believe it.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe it, Andy, it’s just...this is a lot...it’s everything. I love you so much and I just don’t want to get myself all wrapped up in someone who isn’t-”

“Honey, this is as real as it gets. I love you and want forever with you. That’s never going to change. The moment I laid eyes on you, I was already thinking of ways to see you again. Then, when I helped you move in, seeing just how thoughtful and kind you are...I’ve been in love with you ever since. I know that this is moving kind of fast, but if only you could understand just how deeply and how much I love you...my heart rate speeds up whenever I see you, your smile alone is enough to calm me down and make me come alive at the same time, and your laugh...honey, I could listen to you laugh and talk all day and still want more. I love you, Y/N. I’m madly and truly in love with you,” he finishes with a warm smile as he wipes your tears away.

You don’t know what to say. How can all of this be real? How can he choose you so easily? How is he choosing you at all? And how the hell is he so calm about all of this?

Are you sure you’re awake? Is this actually real?

“This is really happening, it’s not all in your head or some dream,” he chuckles softly as he practically reads your mind.

“Can we go inside and take a look around?” you sniffle after a moment, wiping your eyes.

“Anything you want, honey.”

You don’t mean to gasp when you go inside, but the place is gorgeous and spacious.

How much money does Andy have exactly?

“Now, I had to get some furniture, I didn’t want you coming home to a completely empty house. I figured we’d go shopping for the rest of it together. Out of town, so you don’t have to worry about being seen. I figured we could go tomorrow.”

“Andy, this is gorgeous!”

“Yeah, you really like it?”

“I love it!” you beam, turning around wrapping your arms around him tight. “Give me the full tour,” you smile up at him.

Andy is more than happy to show you around, very clearly excited and happy that you didn’t go running off in the other direction. It all seems so unreal, especially when he shows you the little art studio he set up for you.

“Andy-”

“You told me that you loved to paint when you were younger, but had to stop between work and school. I’m obviously not going to push you, but I want you to feel free to start again. Maybe you’ll fall back in love with it, and if you don’t, this will still be your space to do whatever you want in.”

“You didn’t have to do this for me, Andy. Any of it. I just...how can you love me this much?”

“How can I not love you this much?” he chuckles as he wraps an arm around your waist. “Come on, there’s still the upstairs.”

“Somehow I forgot all about the upstairs,” you laugh along with Andy.

“So,” Andy starts as you both start up the stairs, “there are three bedrooms. I’ve started setting up what I think you’ll want to be our room, but just tell me-”

“Say that again,” you smile up at him once you two reach the top step.

“Hmm? Say what?”

“Our room.”

Andy smiles down at you before cupping your face and giving a soul stirring kiss, “our room,”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

As he shows you each room and leads you down the hallway, you can’t help but wonder why he got a place with three rooms. Yeah, a two bedroom would make sense, a spare room form Jake and Sarah if they ever sleep over, but why three?

“And this is ours,” he smiles at you as he pushes the door open.

It’s amazing how well Andy knows you.

“I know the furniture is a little bland and we can get something else, if you want. There’s a 30 day warranty on everything,” he laughs softly. “I know you prefer then left side, so I set up all my stuff on the right. If you want, I’ll-”

You cut him off by crashing your lips into his and pulling him impossibly closer to you. “You are incredible,” you breathe once you two break apart. “You are so incredible and I am so in love with you.”

“You’re happy?”

“I’m so far past happy, daddy,” you whisper before you start to kiss down his body, “you did really good.”

“Sweetheart, we don’t have to-”

“But I want to, daddy. I really want to,” you plead as you look up at him with your most innocent eyes.

He tries to hide it, but you can see lust and desire in his eyes, and you know he’s about to give you what you want. “Get on the bed,” he demands with a low growl.

“But daddy-”

“You always wanna argue with daddy, and we have to put a stop to that,” he scowls before gripping your hair roughly, “I think that’s exactly what we’re gonna do now.”

“I’m so sorry, daddy,” you whimper, getting more and more desperate for him by the second.

“Oh, you will be, now strip and get on the bed. Don’t make me tell you again.”

And just like that, you’re up on your feet and undressing yourself. Soon enough, you’re naked and in the middle of the bed, waiting for instruction as Andy looks you over.

“Such a gorgeous little girl, but such a dumb little slut. Open those pretty little legs and start playing with your clit.”

All you can do is whine like the bitch in heat that you are as you follow his instructions, trying to hold his burning gaze.

“Daddy,” you moan, closing your eyes and lulling your head back, fighting off a release he hasn’t given you permission for.

“Eyes on me,” he demands hotly, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans.

When you focus your attention back on him, he’s stroking his angry red cock that’s leaking with pre-cum. “Daddy, please let me-”

“You don’t cum until I say so, little slut. You understand me?”

“Please-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, really such a dumb little girl,” he smirks mischievously, “and to think, I was about to eat that perfect little cunt of yours.”

“Daddy please!”

“Guess I’m just gonna teach you how to obey,” he sighs before taking off his shirt and stepping out of his jeans. “What has daddy told you about begging?”

“No-not to,” you breathe, still trying to hold his intense gaze as you watch him take a seat on the edge of the bed.

“So, why do you keep being a whiny little brat?”

“Just want you so...so bad all the time.”

“Is that so? Well, come and sit on daddy’s lap. We’re gonna have a little talk about why you should be a good little girl,” he coaxes, starting to stroke himself again.

You’re quick to make your way over to him, ready to straddle him, before he stops you.

“You’re gonna face that mirror, so you can see how much better it is when you’re a good girl.”

“Daddy-”

“You’re just making it harder for yourself. Now, face the mirror, and take daddy’s cock until you learn how to behave.”

How the hell are you supposed to last? You have no idea.

“Oh God, daddy,” you moan as you slide yourself down on his cock, lulling your head back at the way he still pulls you apart.

“Look at yourself in the mirror, sweet girl,” he coos against your neck, licking it lightly.

“Daddy!”

“I said look!” he snaps before slapping your clit.

“Fuck!” you cry out, looking straight ahead as you start to bounce up and down on his cock.

“That’s a good girl,” he smirks against your neck, “see how your greedy little cunt takes my cock so well?”

All you can do is nod.

“You know daddy doesn’t like it when you don’t use your words,” he scolds before slapping your clit again.

“Fuck daddy! I’m...I-I’m sorry!”

“Now, I’ll ask you again,” he husks as you pick up your pace, “do you see how well your greedy little cunt takes my fat cock so well?”

“Y-yes daddy!”

“All I wanna do is spoil you and make you feel so fucking good,” he groans in a condescending tone, “but you just love to act up. Doesn’t it feel so much better when I don’t have to punish you?”

“Everything you do feels amazing, daddy,” you sob as he starts to massage your tits, pinching your nipples hard.

“Oh, so that’s what it is? My little girl just needs to be treated like a little fucking slut?”

“Daddy please!” you whine, clenching around him, knowing you won’t be able to hold off your release much longer.

“That’s not being a good girl,” he sighs against your neck, slapping your clit again, causing you to yelp; you try and close your legs. “If daddy lets you cum, you’ve gotta watch yourself the whole time. Watch how beautiful you look when you explode for me. You understand?”

“Anything you want! Just please!” you whine, knowing you sound pathetic, but you’re so far beyond blissed out that you don’t fucking care.

“So fucking needy,” he laughs as he starts to massage your clit with two of his fingers, “alright, be a good little whore and cum for daddy.”

In no time at all, you’re screaming out in pleasure, squirting all over his cock and the floor, not feeling an ounce of shame as you see how wrecked you are. Andy’s grip tightens on you, and you’re sure he’s about to cum until he stills you.

“Sweet girl, you made a mess all over my cock,” he chides as you clench around him, knowing he’s going to be just as mean about cleanup.

“I didn’t...I didn’t mean to,” you breathe, trying to come down from your high.

“But you did, and what do good girls do when they make a mess?”

“Clean it up, daddy.”

“Exactly.Get on your knees and clean daddy’s cock.”

“Please-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, there you go again,” he sighs, slapping your clit again.

He’s going to fucking ruin you.

You slowly stand up, your legs still unstable, but you’re quick to get on your knees in the little puddle you created. A whimper escapes your lips at the sight of Andy’s cock in front of you, happy to finally be able to take it into your mouth. You lick it softly and moan in satisfaction at the taste of yourself on him.

“Take it, sweet girl,” he husks, gripping your hair as he bucks his hips slightly, “take every fucking inch of it.”

You’re quick to get your mouth on him, desperate to make him feel an ounce of the pleasure he’s made you feel. You soon find that just because you’re eager to do something doesn’t mean it’ll get done.

“C’mon sweet girl, I know can take all of it. Relax your throat for me,” he coos, guiding your head down.

It’s not like it hadn’t dawned on you until now that Andy’s cock is the biggest you’ve ever experienced, but you’re still annoyed with yourself for not prepping for it.

“That’s it...fuck, that’s it! Such a good girl,” he groans as you take him more and more.

You both moan in satisfaction when he finally reaches the back of your throat. He starts guiding you slowly, but the second you start whimpering, he’s rough, picking up the pace.

“Fuck, you’re such a good little whore, baby,” he grunts, his grip white knuckling, “wish you could see how well you’re taking daddy’s cock. Fuck!”

When you start gagging, he pulls you off and you whine in protest.

“What did daddy say about being a whiny little brat?”

“I wanna taste you so bad.”

“Another time, sweet girl. For now, get on the bed and on your hands and knees.”

Once again, it takes you a moment to get yourself together, completely blissed out, but determined not to throw in the towel in until he does.

The bed shifts behind you almost instantly, and you whimper when you feel one of Andy’s hands smooth over your ass cheek.

“Daddy!” you scream out when he smacks it hard.

“Are gonna start behaving?”

“Mhm!”

“Use your words!” he reprimands, slapping your ass harder.

“I’ll be such a good girl, daddy! I promise!” you cry out.

“That’s what I wanna hear,” he praises.

You prepare yourself to feel him thrust inside of you, but are completely caught off guard when you feel his tongue against your folds.

“Holy fuck!”

“Told you, rewards feel so much better than punishments,” he smirks before starting to fuck you with his tongue.

Between the lewd slurping sounds between your legs, and Andy’s groans of approval, you lull your head back and get lost in that blissful state only he can bring you to. You’re right on the edge when Andy replaces his tongue with his fingers, and before you can protest, you feel his tongue licking your asshole, and you arch your back, gripping the sheets to keep yourself upright.

“Y-you make me feel so fucking good! I swear to fuck!”

All Andy does is slap your ass in approval and it makes you clench tighter around his fingers.

Never in a million years did you ever think Andy would or could be this dominant or controlling. The same man who loves late night ice cream drives and is insanely romantic to you: the quiet and shy guy, the loving father. He cuddles you close during movie night while also the same guy who dominates the fuck out of you, making you feel like the dirty little slut you secretly are.

“You ever been fucked in this perfect little hole, sweet girl?” Andy asks, making little circles around your asshole with his finger.

“N-no daddy!”

“At some point this weekend, we should fix that,” he husks before removing his fingers from your weeping cunt, “but for now, I’m gonna use you as my little cum dump.”

“Fuck, please daddy!” you sob as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Are those pretty little tears for me?” he coos condescendingly, reaching down between your legs and rubbing little circles on your overstimulated clit.

“Never felt so fu...so fucking good!”

“Yeah? Show me just how much by cumming for me right now,” he demands with a throaty grunt as his movements become erratic.

“Fu...fu...FUCK!” you shout with a sob, squirting all over all his cock and the bed.

“Sweet girl,” he growls, dipping down and resting his forehead on your back as he coats your inner walls with his seed. “Such a good fucking girl.”

Andy rides out both your highs before letting you down gently and collapsing next to you. He instantly pulls you close, and you cuddle up against him; feeling loved, full, happy, and content.

“Was I too rough with you?” he asks after a moment, softly making little circles on the small of your back.

“No baby,” you all but mumble, trying to stay awake.

“You promise?”

“I swear.”

“I love you so much, honey.”

“You are my world, Andy. I still can’t believe you did all of this for us. It’s so...I’ve never felt so loved or cared for in my life, and I’m trying to accept that all of this is real, it’s just gonna take a bit. I’m so afraid you’re gonna wake up one day and decide I’m not worth all of this and walk away. Everyone always walks away.”

“Honey, I told you I’m all in and I mean that. This isn’t a phase and I’m not looking to fuck around. I’m in love with you, so fucking in love. That’s not changing.”

Now you’re crying for a completely different reason.

“I’m so happy, Andy. Thank you.”

“Get some rest, sweetheart.”

As you drift off to sleep, feeling safe and secure in Andy’s arms, you slowly feel your fears and insecurities fall away.

Maybe this all can work out.

**

When you wake up, the sun is setting, the TV is on, and you’re alone in bed. You grab your phone, (ignoring all of your notifications) and see that it’s 5:30.

You would sleep the day away.

You’re slow to get out of bed and make your way over to his drawers, quickly grabbing one of his sweaters since your clothes are still in the car. A smile comes to your as the memories of what took place earlier play in your head.

It wasn’t a dream.

You quietly make your way down the steps, listening for Andy, but when you hear him the backyard, your smile quickly fades.

“Laurie, I’m not having this talk when you’re drunk...Jacob took Sarah away this weekend and when he comes back, he’s moving out. You know that’s why I did it this way...he’s not going to notice anything, he’ll be too busy taking out all of his packed boxes...I’ll tell him when I finish helping him and Sarah move into their new place....I would imagine Y/N is gonna be there, she is their best friend...don’t start that shit again....I’ll tell him about her when we’re both ready...well, we wouldn’t still be married if you’d sign the damn papers, now would we?...God, don’t start with the tears...listen, I’m gonna go. Please don’t call me again, unless it’s to tell me you’ve signed the papers,” he finishes with a frustrated sigh before hanging up and tossing his phone down and taking a seat on one of the lawn chairs.

“I’m guessing she’s not taking the move well,” you practically whisper.

“Hey,” he smiles at you, but his eyes show just how frustrated he is.

“Andy-”

“Don’t start, honey. Come here.”

You slowly walk over to him and pulls you down into his lap and holds you close.

“Do not worry about Laurie, I can handle her.”

“You wouldn’t have to if I hadn’t-”

“Stop that, you didn’t do anything.”

“I kissed you.”

“I was in love with you long before that kiss, sweetheart. Besides, I was the one who begged you to let me take you home.”

“Baby-”

“You said it yourself; this is gonna get harder before it gets easier. Laurie can cry and complain all she wants to, it’s not going to change anything.”

“What about Jacob?” you mumble, cuddling up and curling in to him.

“That’s up to you. I told you; you set the pace.”

You’re thoughtful before you speak, “after graduation and the proposal. Those are both really special days, and I know that this will ruin it for him,” you softly sigh.

“Babe, he’s gonna get over it.”

“Will he, Andy? Sarah and Laurie are convinced that he’s in love with me-”

“Because he is.”

“Oh, not you too!”

“You can’t tell me that you don’t see it.”

“I don’t because he’s not!”

Andy just sighs and presses kiss to your forehead, “okay, honey.”

“Besides, if that is true, he’s probably never going to talk to me again.”

“He’ll get over it. Yes, he is going to be upset and overreact, but he’ll get over it. You’re his best friend and, at some point, he’ll get over it.”

“Andy-”

“Listen, if it’s too much for you-”

“It’s not,” you quickly interject, “you’re worth all of this and more. I just...I have to prepare myself.”

“We’re this together, sweetheart,” he promises, pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

“ ‘Roman Holiday’ was on when I got up.”

“I planned that perfectly,” he laughs softly.

“I think I’d like for us to do that one day. Have our own Roman Holiday.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nod as a small smile comes to your face, “I think it would be a lot of fun. Plus, we’ve never actually been away together, obviously. When I have some more money saved up, we should go. Would you like that?”

“Anything I get to do with you is something I’d love.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, sweetheart.”

You two spend the rest of evening cooking dinner, planning when to move some of your stuff in, and deciding what time you both wanted to get up to go and look at furniture.

After almost falling asleep in bed, twice, you both decide it’s time to shower and call it a night. It’s the best shower you’ve ever had with another person, because there was nothing sexual about it. You both washed each other, made each other laugh, and at the end; he just holds you tight and kisses the top of your head.

You never knew love could feel this good.

“You’re not wearing your ring,” you yawn as you two settle under the covers and turn out the lights.

“Why should I?”

“You’re still married.”

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m not. I signed the papers and the only person I’m with is you.”

“Andy, people will notice.”

“Good,” is all he says before wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close. “That way, when they see us together, there won’t be anything to question.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, honey. Goodnight.”

You’re almost asleep when you remember, “babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you get a place with three rooms.”

“Oh,” he comments softly and you feel him stiffen a little. “Well, ya know, for when Jacob and Sarah sleepover.”

“You’re gonna make them sleep in separate rooms?”

“Well, if they want options.”

“What are you not telling me?”

“Just...maybe one day...if you wanted to have a kid or kids with me...we have the space,” he confesses sheepishly.

You turn over in his hold, wide eyed and in complete disbelief, “what?”

“You obviously don’t need to think about it now, or even at all, it was just...just in case it is something you want.”

“You want a family with me?”

“I keep telling you that I want everything with you.”

“Even kids?”

“Marriage, kids, sharing an AARP membership,” he laughs, “all of it.”

“If we have kids, you’ll be like Atticus Finch.”

“Only in the sense that I’ll be an old lawyer. We won’t be poor and their mother won’t be dead.”

“That’s a good way to look at it,” you laugh.

“We’ll talk about it more in the morning. I love you, Y/N,” he smirks before kissing your forehead.

“I love you too, Atticus.”

As you drift into dream land, secure in Andy’s hold, you’re finally certain of at least one thing; this isn’t made up at all.

**

Its been a constant roller coaster for you and Andy in the following months after he first shows you the condo he got for you both. After helping Jacob and Sarah move into their new place, Andy told him that he had moved out while he was away, and of course Jacob wanted to go and see it instantly.

“Have you seen the my dad’s new place?” Jacob asks you two sit in your apartment two weeks later.

“Why would I have seen it?” you scoffed before you took a sip of your whiskey neat, trying to burn away the guilt.

“I don’t know, I figured he might’ve asked you for help or something. The place has an essence of you,” he chuckled.

“What does that even mean?”

“Like...some of the sheets in the bedroom, some of the kitchenware, the pillows...hell, even some of the paintings he got. I don’t know, it feels very you,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

All of the things you picked out.

“He seems happier though. Maybe this is just what they needed, time apart.”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t know...maybe there’s a chance they’ll get back together.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, doesn’t every kid want their parents to work out their shit out?”

“Not when they’re toxic.”

“I don’t know, I guess with us going to look for rings soon, I’m looking for something to believe in. Believe that love lasts and that its real.”

“Stop it. You and Sarah are different.”

“How would you know?”

“I just do. Besides, maybe the person your father finds next will be the one.”

“I don’t wanna think about that,” Jacob scowled and it only made you feel worse.

“So, when are you gonna propose?” you asked before you downed the rest of your drink, trying to think of anything to make yourself feel a little less worse.

“December.”

“W-why December?”

“One, I just feel crazy right now. Graduation, the new job, adjusting to living with Sarah and paying bills, and all this shit with my parents...it’ll just be too much at once, ya know? Second, I think she’ll really love it if I propose to her at the ‘Festival of Lights’. It’s already the number one thing she looks forward to all year long, so why not propose then?”

“That’s a good point,” you muttered before you downed the rest of your drink.

Jacob spent the next few hours telling you about how torn he is about his parents, how he’s not sure how he’ll handle his parents moving on and his family splitting up, and how he wishes things were like they were before Ben’s murder.

It also didn’t help that Laurie still hadn’t signed the fucking papers.

“Sweetheart, when are you coming home?” Andy asked once you finally answered his call.

“I’m not coming over tonight,” you sobbed, curled up underneath your favorite blanket.

“What’s wrong, baby? What happened?”

“He’s gonna hate me, Andy, He’s never gonna talk to me again,” you cried.

“I’m on my way, sweetheart,” is all he said before hanging up.

Andy was at your place in 10 minutes.

“Sweetheart?” Andy called out, once he entered using the key you had made for him.

“In here,” you croaked out, not even bothering to move.

“Oh honey,” Andy cooed once he made his way into your bedroom. “Do you wanna talk about it?

All you could do was shake your head ‘no’ as you sniffled.

“Then we won’t talk about it,” he agreed as he kicked off his shoes before getting into bed with you, “I’ll just hold you until you feel better,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around you kissed your forehead.

In moments like those, you were more than happy that you had Andy in your life. He gave you your space, he let you feel what you needed to feel, he never pressured you into telling him what the issue was, and whenever you were ready to tell him, he was patient and understanding.

However, it doesn’t go without saying that you two had your fair share of arguments about the situation you found yourself in.

“Why are you mad at me?!” Andy snapped as the two you got ready for bed.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Andy.”

“Y/N-”

“I just had to stand there like a fucking idiot while you all took family pictures!”

“It was his graduation!”

“I should’ve just stayed home.”

“Stop it, Y/N.”

“Don’t you dare catch an attitude with me, Barber! You’re not in my position! You don’t know how this feels!”

“She’s his mother! What do you want me to do?!”

“I’m sleeping in the other room.”

“Can we please work this out? Don’t go to bed angry.”

“Andy, I’m tired and-”

“What do you want me to do? You’ve heard the phone calls, I’ve offered her everything and she still won’t sign the papers. I’ve threatened legal action and she still won’t sign the papers. You want us to go to her right now and tell her about us? Lets go. You wanna call Jacob right now? We can. I love you. I want to be with you. I am with you!”

In that moment, you felt embarrassingly small.

“Can we just get away?” you questioned as you covered your face with your hands. “Lets just go on a trip. It doesn’t have to be some big to-do, but lets just get the fuck out of here for a while. I feel like I’m split in two and since Jacob is dead set on a December proposal, the feeling isn’t going to go away any time soon.”

“We’ll go away soon, sweetheart. I promise,” he sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Please sleep in here tonight.”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Baby-”

“I’m just...I’m just tired, Andy. Lets just go to bed,” you muttered as you got into bed.

Andy sighed heavily in response before he got into bed and pulled you close.

“I love you, sweetheart. You set the pace for all of this. I just want to be with you. Only you,” he whispered before he kissed the back of your neck.

It’s very rare that you ever find yourself truly angry with Andy. No, he’s not perfect, but he does his best to be perfect for you. Overall, you both are extremely happy, even with things as fucked up as they are.

Your anger is mainly fueled by your frustration. You know that if you leave it up to Andy, he’ll tell everyone everything in an instant.

However, you’re about to railroad Jacob’s whole life, and he deserves better than you fucking up his ideal proposal. Which is why, when he wanted you to spend your birthday with him and Sarah, you didn’t put up a fuss. You spent your morning and afternoon with them, and you spent your night with Andy; him taking you out to dinner and you finishing the night bouncing up and down on his cock.

When Jacob wanted you to go over to his place to hangout, you went without fuss or complaint. When it came to your home with Andy, you accepted with grace that you couldn’t have pictures of the two of you up, just because Jacob liked to frequent his dad’s place. You constantly talk yourself into accepting how things are, because after Christmas, things are about to change drastically.

“Laurie, what do you want me to do? If Jacob wants her at the propsal, he wants her at the proposal,” Andy sighs, plopping down on the sofa next to you, and wrapping an arm around you. “They’re best friends, Laurie. If you’re gonna be this crazy about it, talk to Jacob. This isn’t my proposal...alright, I’m not getting into this, I’m going. Bye,” he snaps before hanging up. “She won’t be my wife forever, she won’t be my wife forever,” he mutters to himself as he pulls you close.

“I can say that I’m sick and not show up-”

“No,” he instantly cuts you off, “you’re going to be there and she’s going to deal with it. She doesn’t even know we’re together, so it’s just her being paranoid.”

“I don’t want her to keep giving you a hard time.”

“She’s hellbent on always giving me a hard time. Don’t worry about it.”

“Andy-”

“Don’t worry about it, honey,” he repeats in a firmer yet gentle tone.

You sigh before straddling him, “how can I make you feel better?”

“It’s not fair when you ask that question and you’re in this position,” he whines.

You dip down and whisper seductively in his ear, “you know I’m yours to use however you want, daddy.”

“Y/N,” he growls, gripping hips tight.

“Take what’s yours, daddy,” you moan, grinding yourself against him.

“Sweet girl,” he husks.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to sit on my face, sweet girl. Ride my face until I’m drowning in cum from that sweet pussy.”

“Oh daddy,” you whimper, picking up your pace.

“Then, I’m gonna abuse both your holes because daddy needs to relieve some stress.”

“I’ve missed having you in my ass, daddy!”

“Yeah, well get ready for a long-”

“Dad!” Jacob calls from the other side of the door, knocking a little aggressively.

“Fuck,” Andy breathes into the crook of your neck.

“I’ll make myself scarce-”

“No no, I’ll think of something to tell him by the time I’m at the front door. Fuck, we’re picking this up the second he leaves.”

“I’m betting on it,” you giggle softly.

You moan as you get off of him, the friction of your panties rubbing against your now extremely sensitive clit only making you more desperate, and Andy’s quick to give you that look.

“I know, daddy: I can’t cum until you say so.”

“There’s a good girl,” he smirks at you before getting up, readjusting his pants, and slowly making his way to the front door.

You quickly turn on the TV (happy that it’s Turner Classic Movies) before heading into the kitchen and making drinks for you and Andy.

“Hey bud, what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you,” Jacob mutters, pushing right past Andy. “Should I propose-”

“Hey Jake,” you smile, popping out from the kitchen and holding a glass out to Andy, which he happily takes.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had a few legal questions for Andy about my parents, because they’ve been driving me crazy. The more I talked about it, the more I got upset, so we turned on Turner Classic Movies, and I just made us some drinks. I figured we’d dive back in soon.”

“You could’ve just come to me, ya know.”

“Are you a lawyer?”

“Don’t be an asshole-”

“Jacob!” Andy snaps.

“You know what I mean,” he rolls his eyes, “you could’ve talked to me.”

“You’ve been so stressed lately, I didn’t want to add on anymore.”

“I wouldn’t have-”

“Yes, you would have. Whenever I bring up how upset my parents make me, you get pissed off and worked up.”

“You don’t tell me anything anymore!”

“It’s one thing, Jake.”

“Whatever.”

“Jake, you didn’t come here to argue with me, I’ll go-”

“We’ll go into my office, you sit down and calm down,” Andy tells you softly.

You want to say something, but you know there’s no use. As Andy leads Jacob to his office, you resume your seat on the sofa and do your best to focus on the movie on the screen, but now you’re irritated.

For the last few months, when you tell either Sarah or Andy something before you tell him, he catches an attitude. The only thing that you’ve purposely kept a secret from him is your relationship with Andy, and it’s obvious why. Hell, he was pissy with you for being secretive about his birthday until the actual surprise. Even then, he gave you a half-ass apology. You don’t know when he started getting so selfish with you, but you’re really growing tired of it.

Until he starts hating you for being with Andy, Jacob is still your best friend, and you’ve done your best to show him that. By the time both men come out of the office, you can tell that Jacob is more at ease, but it’s also clear (to you at least) that Andy is trying his best to hide his frustration.

“Y/N, you’re gonna be there tomorrow, right?” Jacob asks, standing in the doorway.

“Are you done being a dick?”

“You know I’m sorry-”

“That would be something hard to know since you never fucking said it.”

“I really am sorry, Y/N. I don’t know whats gotten into me lately, but I don’t mean any of it. I’m just frustrated and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Jake. Just don’t make a habit of taking your anger out on me, please. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you smile softly.

Jacob just nods before practically running out.

“He should be wearing a jacket,” you mutter as Andy closes the door.

You’re about to ask him what’s going on, when he suddenly throws you over his shoulder, “unbutton your jeans,” is all he said as he starts on his way up the stairs.

Maybe you won’t make it tomorrow.

“Take them off,” he demands, tossing you down on the bed before taking off his shirt and undoing his pants, “and take your fucking shirt and bra off too.”

You want to tell him to calm down and ask him what happened, but you’ve never seen him this angry before, and your hormones are winning the battle.

He lays down next and motions for you to come over, “come take a ride on daddy’s face, sweet girl.”

And just like that, you’re doing any and everything he wants.

You were already expecting Andy to be rough with you, but you didn’t think he’d be as rough as he is. It’s not like you mind or that it hurts, in fact you’ll probably ask him to act like this more often, but pleasure aside: something is wrong.

“Come on, sweet girl, give it to me,” he grunts, fucking you hard from behind, pushing you to your limit for the third time.

“Daddy,” you mindlessly moan, clawing at the sheets that you’re more than sure are ruined.

“This cunt is amazing, sweetheart! You’re being such a good little girl for me!” he praises, slapping your ass hard.

“Fuck!”

“There she is! The way this pussy clenches me!”

“Fuck! Daddy!” you cry out, squirting on his cock for what feels like the millionth time, as your body gets lost in another mind-numbing orgasm.

“Good girl,” he grunts, coating your inner walls with his desire.

He hovers for a moment, panting above you before he pulls out, and you think he’s finally spent.

“Get on your back, sweet girl,” he husks, pinning you down.

Alright, what the fuck is going on?

“Andy, baby...wait.”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“Baby, I’m perfect, but you...you aren’t,” you breathe, trying to get your thoughts together, “what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mutters before dipping down to kiss you, but you turn your head away just in time. “Sweet girl-”

“No Andy. We can go all night if you want to, just like this, but you gotta talk to me, baby, please. What happened?”

“Please-”

“Andy, this doesn’t work if we don’t talk to each other.”

He lets out an exasperated sigh before collapsing next you on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, “Laurie told Jacob I started seeing someone.”

“I’m sorry, she did what?!”

“He obviously doesn’t know it’s you, but he did have questions about you...us. I obviously lied and he bought it, but it’s only gonna make everything worse in the long run.”

“Did he say anything about it?”

“Well, he wants to meet her,” he scoffs, running one of his frustrated hands through damp his hair, “he’s a little upset because he was holding out hope, but he understands.”

“Do you want to just tell him now?”

“No, because you’re right; him finding out before proposing would ruin everything. Everything is tied into one, sweetheart,” he sighs heavily.

“What are you not telling me, baby?”

“The reason he came over initially...he was having cold feet about proposing to Sarah, because...he figured out that he has feelings for you.”

“Jesus Christ,” you groan into your hands.

You can’t catch a fucking break.

“I asked him if he could see himself having a real future with you if he broke it off with Sarah, and he said no. He said that he isn’t in love, but he didn’t realize just how much he was used to being the only one in your life until he stopped being the only person you spend your time with. He swears it’s just a crush and that he’ll get over it. That’s when he asked if anything was going on between us and I told him that we’re just friends. I know for a fact that this is why Laurie said anything, because she wants her suspicions confirmed. To pull this shit now though? The day before he’s supposed to propose? That’s a fucking low blow, even for her.”

“We’ll just...we’ll deal with it after Christmas, okay baby?”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“Hey, we are in this together. This is something we both decided to do and I’m all in. Whatever we have to face, we’ll face it together. Good or bad.”

“You know this means we’re gonna have to be even more discreet, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” you sigh, finally turning on your side to look at him, “but it won’t always be like this,” you smile weakly.

Andy raises himself up on his elbow and looks you over, before cupping your face and giving you one of the most passionate kisses hes ever given you, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Ya know, you did say that we can go all night just like we were...”

“We can do whatever you wanna do, daddy,” you smirk as he chuckles before kissing you again.

You both go for another two rounds before deciding that you need it to call it a night. However, neither of you actually goes to sleep. Andy just holds you close while leaning against the headboard, stroking your arm gently, while you lay your head on his chest. Not a word is spoken as you two lookout the window; up at the moon, it’s just a silent understanding that very soon, things are going to become very hectic and chaotic.

**

“Why aren’t you coming to the ‘Festival of Lights’?!” Sarah whines into the phone and you laugh.

“I have some things I need to take care of.”

“You better not be putting Andy before me.”

“I��m not!” you laugh, coming up to a red light, “Christmas is a week away and I’ve got some last minute things to do.”

“Y/N!”

“Listen, it’s not my fault they choose the worst time to do this every year. A lot’s been going on.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I mean, yes and no.”

“Uh oh, what happened? What did the Wicked Witch do now?”

“Don’t worry-”

“No no, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Laurie told Jacob that Andy has started seeing someone.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“To make matters worse,” you start as the light turns green and you pull off, “I was over when Jacob came over last night, and of course he asked Andy about it.”

“Oh no.”

“And of course, Andy lied.”

“Fuck.”

“So, thanks for that, Laurie.”

“Why not just tell him?”

“And ruin his Christmas? No thanks.”

“That’s a fair point. He’s actually so excited this year. Christmas morning with you, lunch with Andy and my parents, then dinner with Laurie. He’s planned the shit out of it,” she laughs softly. “What about you and Andy?”

“He’s coming to get me as soon as you two leave for dinner,” you chuckle.

“Ugh, I’m so happy for you two. You’ve been so much happier these last few months, and the fact that he got a home for you both? Y/N, I’m so damn happy for you.”

“Thanks, babe.”

“Oh, I hear footsteps approaching, we’ll talk about this more later, okay?”

“Sounds good,” you smile as you pull up to the town square, “I love you.”

“I love you,” she beams before hanging up.

As you park your car, you see Laurie standing next to Andy, and you mentally prepare yourself not to punch her face in on site.

“Oh thank God you’re here!” Sarah’s mom laughs, as you get out and open your trunk. “You know how everything is supposed to look and Jacob was a nervous wreck when he was here earlier.”

“He wasn’t that bad,” Laurie laughs following behind her.

“Sorry sorry, things ran a little late at work, but I’m here now and we’ve got...2 hours to get this done! We can-”

“Hour and a half,” Andy interjects with a laugh. “Jacob is a little too excited for Christmas this year, so Sarah wants to show up early.”

“Well...shit, okay then,” you laugh awkwardly. “I guess we should get to work.

As everyone gets to work on setting up the “proposal area”, you can’t help but notice how much Laurie is clinging to Andy, and how much Andy is trying to keep his distance. The whole thing wants to make you scream, but what can you do? What can you say? As far as everyone knows, you and Andy are nothing more than acquaintances.

So, you have no other option but to sit and watch?

An hour into setting up, your phone buzzes and you assume it’s Jacob, but a small smile comes to your face when you read the name on your phone.

My Heart: I know we said we won’t see each other again until Christmas, but I really want to see you tonight.

Y/N: Baby, you know we can’t.

My Heart: Laurie is driving me insane, all I wanna do is kiss you, and I hate sleeping alone.

Y/N: Christmas will be here before you know it, baby. Besides, we’ll find other alternatives while we wait. As for Laurie, I’m ready wring her fucking neck if she puts her hands on you one more time. What the fuck is she even talking about?

My Heart: How excited she is and reminiscing about how we used to talk about this day all the time.

Y/N: Of course she fucking is, because I guarantee you she doesn’t think that Jacob talked to you about what she fucking said.

My Heart: I wanna say something so bad, but this isn’t the fucking time or place, and I’m not gonna argue with her before Christmas.

Y/N: We’ll sort all of this soon. Today isn’t about any of this. Jacob and Sarah have been through a lot and I just want this to be perfect for them.

My Heart: I am so in love with you, did you know that?

Y/N: That’s good to hear, because the feeling is mutual :)

You look up and over at him for just a split second, and see the biggest smile on his face, and a small one comes to yours. God, you can’t to truly be with him. When your phone buzzes again, you know who it is before even checking it.

The Dark Lord: We’re on our way!

“Alright everyone, they’re on their way, so finish up and get to your spots,” you happily announce, tying up your last bow.

Everything is perfect, it’s even snowing, but you’re still annoyed. You completely understand why Laurie and Andy’s hiding spot is together, but it’s painfully clear that Laurie isn’t going down without a fight. Yeah, Andy will turn down all of her advances, but she shouldn’t be trying anything anyway. Whether or not you’re with Andy, he’s made it perfectly clear that he just wants to move on, and she refuses to accept that.

Also, yes, he’s your boyfriend so everyone needs to back off.

However, you can’t focus on that right now. Jacob and Sarah will be arriving any moment, and you’re the one in charge of recording everything.

Thank God you finally hear Sarah’s voice.

“Jacob, c’mon! I wanna do the maze while it’s still snowing!” she calls and you force yourself not to giggle.

“I had to grab something from the car, take a walk with me really quick though.”

“Babe-”

“I have a surprise for you,” he laughs softly as he takes her hand and starts to walk towards the spot that’s been set up for them. “Now, I know nothing about this relationship has really been normal or easy, for fucks sake, we started talking because you wanted to tip me off about what Derick said over a murder case,” he shakes his head in disbelief. “Yet, here we are all these years later, still in love and making it work. There’s no one else I can see myself having a future with and there’s no one else I want a future with.”

“Jacob-”

“I am moody, messy, argumentative, and I always forget to clean the coffee grinds out of the sink, but Sarah...I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. So,” he starts as he gets down on one knee and ‘Reflecting Light’ by Sam Phillips starts playing, “will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Sarah doesn’t hesitate for a second.

“Of course!” she squeals, almost knocking him over with a hug.

Everyone soon erupts into cheers and applause as they come out of their hiding spots, and you finally stop recording.

“You sneaky little bitch!” Sarah exclaims when she sees you. “I love you so much!”

“I love you too,” you laugh as she almost knocks you over.

“You know you’re my maid of honor right?!”

“You sure about that?” you laugh as you two break apart, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything,” she promises with a nod.

Thank God for loyal friends.

Soon enough, it was time for photos and you do your best to mask the pain you feel when you Laurie hanging all over Andy. You know she’s doing it for show, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You want so badly to be in those photos and not some secret. You want so badly to just feel like it’s really real.

When she kisses Andy on the cheek, you’re not sure how you’re able to hold yourself back from smacking the shit out of her.

‘This isn’t about you or Andy. Control yourself,’ you tell yourself mentally.

“Y/N, you should get in some of these pictures,” Andy calls, giving you a small smile.

So much for being more discreet.

“What? Why?” Laurie questions, very obviously upset.

“She’s their best friend and has been there for them almost as long as their relationship, She’s practically apart of the family. Besides, she’s also the one came up with the design for all of this and got the decorations.”

“That’s a fair point,” Laurie begrudgingly agrees.

Well. Shit.

You’re about to stand on the other side of Laurie when Andy says, “here, stand between Laurie and I.”

“What? Why?”

“She can’t stand between Jacob and me or between Jacob or Sarah. She obviously stand between Sarah and her parents.”

“But why between us?”

“Why does it matter? It’s not like we’re together anymore.”

Fuck.

“It’s not a big deal, Mr. Barber, I can stand on the other side of-”

“No, that’s okay,” Laurie smiles the best she can, trying and failing to mask her pain, anger, and embarrassment. “You can stand between Andy and I.”

You and Sarah exchange a quick look before you stand between Andy and Laurie, and the smile that comes to your face is genuine. Not only is Andy going out of his way to make sure you’re included, but he’s also taking a stand.

He’s standing up to Laurie.

Yes, Andy’s a good man and you’re more than sure it hurt him to hurt and embarrass her, but it’s not like she didn’t draw first blood. From the look on Laurie’s face, she could tell that he really isn’t coming back.

He isn’t going to and he doesn’t want to.

You can’t stop yourself when he comes over later that night. Yeah, you two agreed to be more discreet, but after the massive display of affection he showed, waiting till Christmas feels a little more impossible.

However, that night was the only slip up you two had. From then until Christmas Eve, it was only texts, phone calls, and FaceTime. The only reason you went home (his place) on Christmas Eve was because he invited Sarah and Jacob over to decorate the Christmas tree, and Jacob invited you.

You both tried to hide how happy you were about doing something so simple together, but the look on Sarah’s let you know that she could see right through it. All she did was offer a small and subtle smile.

As silly as it seems, it was one of the best nights of your life.

You can’t think about that right now, though. You can’t even think about Andy, because you’ll get too excited and Jacob will start asking questions. In a few hours, you’ll be having the best Christmas ever, but for now, you need to focus.

“So, have you met my dad’s new girlfriend?” Jacob asks as you all finish up breakfast.

“Leave her alone, babe,” Sarah coos, collecting the plates and taking them all to your kitchen.

“It’s just a simple question.”

“Why do you think I’ve met her?” you ask sheepishly, quickly grabbing your coffee and taking sip; doing your best to hide your face.

“You two just seem pretty friendly-”

“You saw me at his house once and it was just to ask legal advice. There’s no reason for me to know anything else about his personal life, Jake.”

Lie.

“Speaking of that, how the hell are you gonna handle Christmas with your parents?”

“In and out for both. I’ll pop in, drop off gifts, and come back here, make dinner, and watch Christmas movies.”

Another lie.

“That sounds lonely, you wanna come with us to have dinner with my mom?”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure she just wants to spend time with you two.”

Truth.

“Lunch with my dad and Sarah’s family?”

“I have gifts to give,” you laugh humorlessly.

Another fucking lie.

“I just know that Christmas is your favorite and I feel bad about you spending it all alone.”

“It’s really okay, Jake. I’m fine with it. Being alone isn’t so bad. I’ll have ice cream, booze, and my favorite holiday movies. I’ll be fine.”

Lie, lie, lie.

“If you say so,” he sighs as he gets up, “but we gotta get going. We’re meeting my dad at Sarah’s parents’ house, then it’s off to my mother’s. This would be a lot simpler if they could’ve just stayed together,” he grumbles.

Ah, yes. There it is: guilt.

“We’ve had this talk, Jake: it’s for the better.”

“I know, I know, but still.”

“Just do your best to enjoy the day, okay?”

“I guess. I love you and I hope you enjoy your gifts,” he smiles as you both stand up and he engulfs you in a huge hug.

“I love you too, Jake. Merry Christmas.”

“We’ll see you after New Year?” Sarah asks as she makes her way over to you.

“Yeah, lets all do lunch on the 14th. Sound good?”

“It’s perfect,” she smiles as she wraps you in a tight hug. “Enjoy your time with him, you both love each other so much. I left the food you asked for in the fridge and Jake has no idea,” she whispers.

“Thank you, Sarah. For everything. I love you,” you whisper back, hugging her just a little bit tighter, before breaking away.

“I guess we’re off,” she sighs as she makes her way over to Jacob.

“You just gotta get through today then you two are on vacation,” you laugh.

“Thank God.”

The second they’re out the door, you’re pulling out Andy’s gifts and wrapping them. It would’ve been done earlier, but with Andy soaking up every single free moment you have since you two can’t see each other, it wasn’t going to happen.

You both agreed to small gifts, but you knew Andy was bullshitting, so you went a little over your budget (nothing you couldn’t make up with overtime), and got him a couple of pricey gifts you knew he’d love and find useful.

You take your time showering, feeling both anxious and excited about spending an almost normal Christmas Andy. The fact that, soon enough, you two will be able to have a real relationship and not have to hide in the shadows. You’ll live together, shop together, fall asleep together, talk about your days in person, have dinner together...all of it. So many things that are done in private, will finally be able to happen freely in the public.

Soon, you and Andy will finally have the life you’ve both been desperately seeking for over a year.

You decide on dressing in your favorite Christmas leggings and pull on the AC/DC crew neck he’s always happy to see you in. Just as you finish brushing out your hair, your phone buzzes and the butterflies appear all over again.

My Heart: On my way, sweetheart.

The squeal that leaves your mouth even causes you to laugh.

You gather all your groceries for dinner, as well as, gifts and a few more clothes you want to move into your home with Andy, before checking that everything is off and away as it should be. Then, you quickly making your way downstairs to the parking garage and waiting for him.

When he pulls in a few minutes later, you can tell he’s laughing without the window even being open.

“I would’ve come up to get you,” he laughs as you get into his car.

“I was too excited! Merry Christmas!” you beam, wrapping your arms around him and engulfing him in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he chuckles softly, “you ready to go home?”

“Always.”

The entire time Andy is driving, you sing all of your favorite Christmas songs loud and off key.

And he’s begging you to stop.

“Okay, now I know that for next Christmas, I need to hide all things that provide music,” Andy sighs as you two make your way inside the house.

“You loved every second of it, I don’t care what you say,” you smirk as set up your presents up underneath the tree.

“Yeah yeah, which present do you wanna open-”

“No no, there’s an art to this. For starters, you should be wearing something Christmas-y, not jeans and a sweater.”

“I don’t have anything Christmas-y,” he chuckles and you shake your head.

“I thought you’d say that, that’s why I got you this!”

“I’m not wearing that.”

“Andy, you can’t break Christmas rules.”

“Since when is wearing a ridiculous sweater a Christmas rule?”

“Since you decided you’re in love with me. Now, put this on, along with some sweatpants, and I’ll make the drinks.”

“I’m about to have the longest Christmas ever, aren’t I?”

“You bet your ass, now change,” you giggle as you make your way into the kitchen.

You hear Andy huff before he starts on his way upstairs, and giggle a little as you get to work on the hot chocolates. Once the stove is hot enough, you start mixing everything together before grabbing a few of the appetizers you asked Andy to get out of the freezer, and preheating the oven.

“I’m not coming downstairs,” Andy calls from the top of the stairs.

“Oh, stop it! It’s not the bunny outfit from ‘A Christmas Story’, it’s just an ugly sweater.”

“It’s the ugliest sweater.”

“C’mon, Christmas grump.”

“I’m not a Christmas grump,” he mumbles as he starts making his down the steps. The second you see him, you burst out laughing and he rolls his eyes. “I’m not wearing this ever again.”

“It’s okay to look ridiculous, babe,” you giggle, “I do it every day.”

“You’ve never looked ridiculous a day in your life,” he smirks as he makes his way over to you, snaking his arms around your waist.

“You’re sweet. How was lunch?”

“How was breakfast?”

“That bad, huh?”

“Sarah’s dad was telling me about all the women he could set me up with and Jacob kept asking me about my new girlfriend.”

“He tried to ask me about your new girlfriend too.”

“I could scream at Laurie.”

“It’s Christmas, babe. Don’t think about it,” you sigh as pour the hot chocolate into two mugs. “We’re gonna have a shit show to deal with after New Year, so lets just enjoy today.”

“Why is the oven on?”

“So I can heat up the appetizers?”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna start making dinner before we open gifts,” he groans, resting his head in the crook of your neck as you start laughing.

“Babe, it’s late! I should’ve started making dinner a while ago!”

“Who needs dinner?”

“Andy.”

“I wanna know what you got me!”

“I didn’t know that I’m in love with a child.”

“According to the town, I am.”

“Fuck you!” you laugh as you feel him smirk against your shoulder. “One gift, Andy.”

“That means you have to open one too.”

“I wanna wait.”

“You’re difficult, you know that?”

“You’re one to talk,” you grin.

“Fine, I’ll wait to open my gift,” he huffs and you can’t stop yourself from giggling. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Are you gonna be like this every Christmas?”

“Uh huh,” you smile, pouring Baileys into his hot chocolate then yours, “and you’re gonna love it.”

Andy takes a seat at the kitchen island and starts telling you about the traditions him and his mom had up until she passed away, while you get the appetizers together and put them in the oven. Just as you close the oven door, ‘The Christmas Song’ starts playing and you don’t even notice that he’s standing right behind you.

“Andy-”

“I think we should dance, don’t you?”

“You never fail to surprise me,” you laugh softly.

He pulls you close and you two slowly dance to one of your absolute favorite songs, and it feels like a dream.

Being with Andy is a dream come true.

When the song comes to and end, Andy continues to hold you close and rests his head on top of yours.

“I just want to stay in this moment for a minute,” he states softly, “I’ve waited for you for so long, and I’ve loved you...I just want us to stay like this for a moment. We finally got here, babe, and I just want to live in the moment that has made me the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You both just stand there and hold each other until the timer goes off on the stove.

You place a soft kiss on his chest before letting go of him and opening the stove, “alright, I made a few different things, because options are always a good thing.”

“That and you’re terrible at making decisions.”

“Both can be true,” you huff before sticking your tongue out at him and he chuckles. “What Christmas movie would you like to watch?”

“I don’t really have a favorite. I guess, ‘The Shop Around The Corner’? That was my mom’s favorite.”

“She had great taste,” you smile at him as you finish set up the plate, before you both head into the living room.

For the first hour, everything is perfect and Andy teases you for being able quote the movie line for line.

However, dreams do have their bumps from time to time.

“Fuck,” you mutter as your phone starts going off.

“What’s wrong?”

“I know who it is and I don’t wanna talk to her.”

“You don’t have to answer, sweetheart.”

“Yeah I do, or she’ll just keep calling,” you mutter, sitting up and grabbing your phone. “Hello?”

“Well, merry Christmas to you too,” your mother laughs and you roll your eyes. “When are you coming over? David and I are waiting.”

“Who the hell is David?”

“My boyfriend.”

“What the hell happened to Eric?”

“Oh, we broke up months ago.”

“Of course you did. Anyway, I told you last night that I’m not coming over.”

“Y/N-”

“I’m not arguing about this with you again. I don’t want to see you and I don’t wanna see dad. I don’t need either of you ruining my favorite holiday.”

“Y/N, I know we’ve had our differences but this used to be our-”

“Don’t. This was our holiday until you deiced that I don’t matter anymore. I did one Christmas without you both and it was almost near perfect. I think I’ll survive another one just fine without you two.”

“If you don’t see your dad-”

“You ruined it when you decided that I don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I see him or not, you’ll always talk shit about him, and he’ll always talk shit about you. Now, I’m actually enjoying my day and I’m not about to ruin it by arguing with you. I love you and Merry Christmas,” you finish with an exasperated sigh before hanging up.

You feel your tears coming on and you know you shouldn’t be, but you’re upset with yourself. Why let her get to you? Why let either of them get to you? They chose to make it this way and you’ve made your peace with that, so why are you so worked up now?

“Talk to me, honey. What’s going on?” Andy questions, pausing the movie and pulling you close.

“It’s so fucking stupid,” you sob, wiping your eyes, “I’m ruining everything.”

“Hey, no you aren’t. What’s going on?”

“Christmas was such a big deal when I was child because we didn’t have any money. We made ornaments, stayed up on Christmas Eve to decorate our shitty tree and watch movies, then on Christmas Day my mom would make a big breakfast,” you chuckle softly, sniffling a little. “We’d eat, sing and dance around to Christmas songs, watch more movies, have a small lunch, and we’d get around to presents late in the afternoon. I never cared about them much, because I knew they couldn’t afford a lot. The only thing I cared about was that we were happy. For two days out of the year, we were all really happy and we were happy together.

Then as I got older, and they started arguing more, Christmas became a day for just my mom and I. She knew how much it meant to me and she wanted me to still have that feeling. She wanted me to know that even though things were changing, some things would always stay the same. It was alright for a while, but after the divorce...it just got so nasty. I would split my day with them, which would be an argument on its own, because the both them wanted me for the day. I would spend the morning and evening with her, then finish the day with him. Yeah, they had money at that point so they showered me with gifts, but they would just talk shit about each other to me. The whole spirit and idea of it was ruined. Last year was the first Christmas I spent alone and it was the first time that I loved it again since I was 15. There was no arguing, no feelings of guilt that I could letting one of them down, and no anger. It was me, my TV, ice cream, wine, and a quiet dinner.

Now, I get to spend it with you and I’m so fucking happy, because even without the gifts, this is the best. I have you and I really couldn’t ask for anything else,” you smile at him as more tears start to come.

“But?”

“Jacob doesn’t understand how lucky he is at times. Even with you and Laurie split up, he still got to see the both of you today. You’re a gentleman, so I know you didn’t say anything awful about Laurie, and for as awful as Laurie is, she knows how much Jacob worships the ground you walk on, so she’s not going to say anything terrible about you. Even if it’s not together, he still gets to see the both of you and enjoy it. He gets to bring Sarah with him and know he won’t be embarrassed or have to apologize for the actions of his parents. My parents fucking hate each other and that’s never going to change, and I know for a fact that if I were to ever bring you on the holidays, it’ll be a shit show.

They’ll spend the whole time just tearing each other down. I’m so fucking mad at them for doing this. For just tearing apart something that meant so much to me. That means something to me. Christmas was such a special time for us and it was everything, and now I’ll never enjoy it with them again. The one thing that would bring us together is now one of the many things that keeps us apart,” you cry.

“Sweetheart,” Andy coos, pulling onto his lap and you lay your head on his shoulder, “that’s not stupid at all. It’s okay to be upset about something that’s upsetting. Your parents have had more than enough time to get their shit together, and the fact that they refuse to is utter bullshit. You told your mother last night that you weren’t coming over, and she still called and tried to act like it was something that hadn’t been discussed. That’s fucked up, and no matter what’s happened over time, she knows how much today means to you. It’s fucked up and it’s selfish. Don’t feel like you’re ruining anything by being rightfully upset, because you’re not.”

“I should start on dinner,” you sniff, wiping your eyes as you go to get up, but Andy’s hold on you is strong.

“Hey, I love you, Y/N,” he tells you as he softly forces your gaze on him with his free hand. “It’s okay to open up to me about your past, you know that.”

“I don’t want you to go away, Andy.”

“I’ve told you I’m not and I mean that, why don’t you trust that?”

“Because you’re too good to be true,” you laugh humorlessly, “I keep waiting for you to go, because all of this is a lot. I’m a lot to deal with.”

“Babe, I got us a home,” he chuckles, “what else do you need me to do? You want me to propose?”

“Andy.”

“Listen, I think about it every single day. I want everything with you forever. I’ll propose to and marry you today if that’s what it takes for you to believe me.”

You don’t even think about it; you just cup his face and kiss him passionately. As always, you want to get lost in Andrew Steven Barber and every emotion he makes you feel. Even if it all crashes and burns, everything he makes you feel lets you know that all of this is worth it.

He truly is the love of your life.

“I should start on dinner,” you breathe once you two break apart.

“After the movie?”

“It’s getting late and-”

“Please?”

You’ll never tell him no.

“Right after.”

“Sounds good to me,” he smiles at you before pressing play on the movie.

You two barely watch the movie, because neither of you can keep your hands off of each other, but the second it comes to an end, you’re practically pushing Andy off of you.

“Just a little bit longer,” he begs breathlessly.

“Judging by what I just felt on my inner thigh, we won’t get anything else done tonight,” you laugh.

“Tonight?”

“I’ll make you so happy tonight, daddy,” you promise in the innocent tone that makes him insanely feral.

“Don’t start,” he warns with a low growl as he gets off of you.

“Punish me for it later,” you wink, getting up and letting up a little yelp when he slaps your ass. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, daddy.”

“I swear to God, you’re gonna ruin me,” he groans and you laugh. “What am I supposed to do while you’re cooking?”

“Watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’,” you shrug before walking out of the room, and you hear him scoff.

You start going over everything that you two discussed over in your head as you start on dinner and it feels as if your heart is about to burst open.

Yes, hes told you he wants everything with you multiple times, but the fact that he’s so ready to marry you? It’s not something he said just put you at ease, and you could tell by the look in his eyes.

You know that he’s happy to wait and you’re so happy he’s so patient with you, because the reality of someone genuinely loving and wanting you is something you still aren’t able to able to believe.

However, that’s not something you wanna focus on right now. It’s Christmas and you’ve got a dinner to prepare.

You notice that the water is finally boiling and you frown. You hate this part.

You sigh as you open the fridge and take out the stapled plastic bag. “Sorry buddy, I really don’t wanna do this.”

You take the lobster out of the bag, place it on the cutting board, and look at it. You wanna call Andy in and ask him to kill it, but it’s supposed to be a surprise, so that would defeat the purpose. Sure, you can close your eyes, but knowing you, that’ll more than likely make things worse. Usually, you can get Sarah or Jacob to do it, but that’s obviously not an option right now.

You’ve just got to do it.

You pick up the knife and hold it directly over the lobster’s head, “I’m so sorry!” you exclaim before stabbing it.

You’re quick to remove the rubber bands on its claws and throw it into the pot, before throwing the knife into the sink.

You’re a murderer.

“What’s going on in here?” Andy asks as he makes his way into the kitchen.

“Nothing nothing,” you smile as you quickly cover the lid.

“Who were you apologizing to?” he asks as he cocks an eyebrow.

“Dinner.”

“What the hell are you making?” he laughs.

“You just wait and see. Now, out of the kitchen!”

“I want a drink,” he says with a coy smile as he makes his way over to the cabinet and grabs a glass.

“Don’t try and get slick with me, Barber,” you laugh.

“I’m not trying anything,” he shrugs as he pours himself a drink, but you see the smile playing on his lips.

“Out of the kitchen.”

“I miss you.”

“You’re nosey.”

“Both can be true.”

“Andy!” you laugh, pushing him playfully.

“I’ll leave you alone...for now,” his tone foreboding as he starts to walk away, “but I’ll be back.”

“Out of the kitchen!” you laugh before sticking your tongue out at him.

From that moment on, Andy won’t give you a moment of peace. He’s either trying to call you out of the kitchen or he pops in to bother you.

“You’re making steak? Now we’re getting somewhere!” he beams as he pops up behind you, causing you to jump.

“You’re honestly the worst person to make dinner for,” you giggle as he wraps his arms around you.

“In my defense, we usually make dinner together.”

“That’s a shitty defense. I’m appalled, District Attorney Barber.”

“I can’t really make a good case when you look this good,” he mumbles against your neck before kissing it. “What was in the pot earlier?”

“Food.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because dinner is almost ready!”

“Did you make this salad yourself? A homemade chicken ceasar salad?”

“Andrew Steven Barber, go away!”

“How much longer do I have to wait?”

“Keep it up and I’ll send you to bed without supper.”

“You’re mean on Christmas,” he mutters and you laugh. “Jacob’s been calling and texting you.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t go through your phone.”

“I don’t care. You know my passcode, just check it and tell me.”

“So, I have permission to leave and come back into the kitchen?”

“I’m going to fight you,” you giggle.

“I just wanna make sure I’m not breaking any rules. I don’t wanna get banished from our home.”

“You are such a pain in the ass,” you chuckle as he leaves the room.

It’s quiet for only a few moments before you hear, “well, it seems like he had an eventful dinner.”

“Uh oh.”

“By the time they arrived, Laurie was drunk and Sarah had to help her finish dinner.”

“Fuck.”

“Do you want me to read the rest?”

“Might as well.”

“She cried over me moving on and away and said that if I give her another chance, she’ll be better.”

“Jesus, she didn’t say this in front of Sarah, did she?”

“He doesn’t say.”

“Fuck.”

“What do you want me to say?”

You’re thoughtful before you speak. “Just say, in the middle of making myself dinner, but that sounds like a fucking shit show. My phone was in the other and that’s why I missed your call. I promise to talk to you before you go on vacation, but for the time being, just enjoy the rest of your night with Sarah. I love you.”

“How do you know how to handle him so well?”

“Years of practice, Barber. Now, out of the kitchen.”

“So damn bossy,” he sighs before kissing your cheek. “How much longer?”

“Soon! Now out!” you giggle.

It’s not that you don’t want to talk to Jacob, but for right now, you just want to focus on you and Andy. Thankfully, a few moments later, you hear Andy answer his phone with ‘hey bud’, and you know it’s Jacob.

You’re more than happy for the welcomed distraction as you finish up dinner and start to put everything together on plates.

��It’s dinner time,’ you mouth to Andy as he paces back and forth while talking on the phone.

“Bud, we’ll talk about all of it when you get back from vacation, okay? I wouldn’t stress too much about it, because your mother is just being...your mother. It’s all gonna be fine, okay? Don’t worry....I love you too, Jake...Merry Christmas to you and Sarah too,” he smiles before hanging up.

“Everything okay?”

“One way or another it will be,” he smiles weakly, “now, show me what’s for dinner.”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

“Please feed me,” he whines and you laugh.

“I guess, come on,” you smile as you make your way back into the kitchen.

“Sweetheart, all of this looks amazing. It smells fantastic!” Andy marvels as he looks over the table.

“I made the sauce that you love for the fettuccine and-”

“Is that lobster in the pasta? Oh no,” he starts laughing, “you had to kill it didn’t you? That’s why you were apologizing?”

“I’m a murderer! I stabbed it in the head!”

“Why didn’t you just put in the pot?” he laughs, wrapping you in a tight hug,

“I was told that it’s more humane to kill it first! I usually get Sarah or Jake to do it, but that obviously wasn’t an option.”

“You could’ve asked me.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise!”

“You really are the sweetest thing,” he chuckles, “I love you.”

“I love you, I hope you enjoy everything.”

“There’s so much food.”

“Leftovers, my friend. Leftovers,” you smirk as you two break apart. “I seasoned the broccoli just the you like, but there’s very little butter because I put a good amount on the lobster.”

“Have you thought about going to cooking school?”

“Don’t suggest anything until you try it,” you laugh as you pour yourself a glass of wine.

Dinner is perfect (according to Andy), and you can’t help but feel a little silly about crying earlier. Yes, your feelings were valid but, for the most part, the day has been everything you’ve ever wanted and more. You’re with the love of your life, you’re both happy, it’s snowing, and you honestly don’t think there’s ever been a time in your life where you’ve felt this content.

This is how it should be.

“It’s finally time to open presents!” Andy yells after he puts away the last of the leftovers, running into the living room.

“You’re giant child,” you laugh, following behind with a bottle of bourbon for him, and you freshly refilled glass of wine.

“I wanna see your face when you open your gifts!”

“You go first, cause you were the one who wanted to open gifts first.”

“How about we both pick a gift?”

“Fine,” you giggle as you sit on the floor next to him.

“Alright, open this one and I’ll open-”

“Why do you get to pick your own gift and I don’t get to pick mine?!”

“Because I bought that gift 7months ago and have been desperate to give it to you since I purchased it.”

“What did you do?”

“Just take it,” he laughs as he passes you the small long box. “I’ll take this one...why is it heavy?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, sipping on your wine.

“We had an agreement-”

“I have a feeling that whatever is in this box breaks our agreement.”

“Y/N.”

“Just open it!”

“Fuck,” he sighs, putting his drink down before tearing off the paper. “No.”

“You needed it!”

“Sweetheart-”

“Andy, your old laptop is shit, and you were never going to get yourself a new one.”

“An Apple?!”

“It’s what you’re used to!”

“It’s too much!”

“Just say ‘thank you’ and give me a kiss.”

“You are something else, ya know that?” he chuckles in disbelief as he leans over and gives you a kiss. “The most selfless person I know.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. Now you.”

“I’m afraid.”

“If I had to open yours, you have to open mine.”

“We’re the worst,” you mutter and he laughs. “Andy...jewelry definitely breaks our agreement.”

“After the gift I just opened from you, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Andy-”

“Open it.”

You’re slow to rip of the paper and glance at Andy before opening the box. “Andy...”

“Do you remember the talk we had that night we went for ice cream? The first time we hung out?”

“You didn’t...oh Andy!”

“You said that, after dogs, butterflies make you the happiest. They’re so delicate, but also so strong, and they’re so light but also leave you with a good feeling. A butterfly is something so fleeting, but so everlasting.”

“Andy, this gorgeous, but it’s too much.”

“No it isn’t.”

“A diamond encrusted bracelet of butterflies-”

“Stop, you’re worth it. I know it makes you happy.”

“You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to. I love you.”

“Andy, this is too much.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.’

“Then its not. Put it on, lets see it.”

You’re hesitant at first, but the second it’s on your wrist, there’s a smile painted on your face.

“Andy...”

“It looks great on you.”

“This had to cost-”

“Don’t worry about the cost. I saw it, thought of you, and decided you needed it. I’m not returning it, so just enjoy it.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“I’m not good enough,” he smirks before kissing you.

How is this real life?

As you suspected, all of Andy’s gifts are much more than you two agreed upon, and you feel foolish for not getting him more lavish gifts.

“You didn’t stick to the agreement at all,” you laugh as you open up your last gift from him; a brand new kitchen knife set.

“Listen, you you said your blades were getting dull and-”

“You didn’t have to put yourself into debt to get me new ones! I was gonna buy some soon, anyway!”

“I didn’t put myself into debt and now you don’t have to spend the money. Besides, the new briefcase that has ‘Attiucs Finch’ engraved in it? I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You’re annoying.”

“So are you,” he laughs before kissing your temple.

“Let me take my stuff upstairs and we’ll watch another movie,” you giggle as you get up and grab your bag.

“I’ll clean up while you do that. Do you liken your gifts?”

“I adore them almost as much as In adore you.”

“I really love making you happy.”

“Same here,” you smile before making your way out of the living room.

You get upstairs and take a deep breath as you get yourself ready for your next and final gift. Yeah, you know Andy thinks you’re beautiful, but you’ve never presented yourself to him like this. He’s usually ripping your clothes off or making you strip, but there’s always clothes on your body. And now? You’re going down there in just velvet red ribbon underwear, hoping he thinks you’re sexy as hell.

“You okay up there?” he calls with a small laugh as you put your Santa hat on.

“Yeah, I’m just getting your last gift together,” you respond, making your way down the steps.

“Funny you should say that, because I have...fuck,” he sighs as he looks you over.

“You’ve been a really good boy this year, daddy.”

“Sweetheart...holy shit.”

“I think you should be rewarded, don’t you?” you innocently ask as you straddle him.

“Baby-”

“Because I really think you should,” you moan, grinding your hips against his.

“Santa’s little whore, huh?” he grunts, gripping your hips and starting to move with you.

“I’m whatever you want me to be,” you promise with breathy sigh as he moans. “You like it, daddy? Your cock...it’s so hard! It feels like you do!”

“Jesus, sweet girl!”

“Wanna feel you,” you whimper, raising yourself just a little as you pull his sweatpants down just enough that you see him, stroking him a bit before lightly tracing the tip of his cock with your fingers. You smirk, getting just a bit of pre-cum on your fingers, bringing them to your lips as licking them softly.

“Sweet girl,” he growls with a warning tone.

“Just wanted a taste, daddy...oh fuck!” you mewl as you lower yourself down on his cock. “You fucking fill me so good, daddy!”

“Look at you,” he moans as you start to ride, “you look so beautiful when you take daddy’s fat cock!”

“Shit!”

“Daddy’s gonna destroy this perfect little cunt, but you gotta cum for me first.”

“F...fuck, you promise?”

“You’ve been such a good little girl today, it’s only fair that I-”

“Andy!” Laurie yells as she bangs on the door.

Andy’s quickly turns his head, but you force his attention back on you, “focus, daddy,” you coo softly as you pick up your pace.

“Andy!” Laurie calls again, a little louder and longer this time.

“Just focus, you wanna make me cum, don’t you daddy?”

“Fuck,” he groans as you take his hand and place it around your throat.

“You know what I need, daddy,” you whimper, “be a good boy and make me cum, please!”

“Sweet girl,” he grunts as his grip on your neck tightens.

“Andy, please!” Laurie begs pathetically.

“That’s it, daddy! Ri...right there! Oh God!” you mewl as squirt all over his cock.

“Fuck!” he broods as he fills you with his desire.

You both just sit there for a moment, breathing heavy and embracing each other, as Laurie continues banging on the door.

“Hands and knees. On the floor,” he demands hotly, looking up at you with lust filled eyes.

You don’t hesitate at all as Laurie’s banging finally settles down a little.

“Just can’t stop yourself from making a mess, can you?” Andy taunts as he thrusts himself inside you.

“Daddy!”

“And we just got that sofa, sweet girl.”

“ ‘m so sorry, daddy! Just felt so good! Fuck!”

“ ‘ts okay, baby. You look so fucking pretty under these fucking Christmas lights,” he huffs, slapping your ass hard, “cause you’re daddy’s gift, right?”

“Y...yes!” you sob, feeling your orgasm building up again.

“Andy, please just talk to me!” Laurie begs from the other side of the door.

“Feels too good, daddy! I need to-”

“Tsk tsk tsk, you know you only cum when daddy says so,” he chides, gripping your hair tight.

“Oh my God!”

“Jesus, I always forget how pathetic you get when you’re desperate to cum,” he chuckles darkly before dipping down and biting your neck.

“Daddy please!”

“I want her to hear you,” he husks against the shell of your ear as he starts to massage your clit.

“Fuck!”

                                                                                                                   “Makeher hear how much you love me.”

“Daddy!”

“Make her hear how much we love each other, because I love you so fucking much, sweet girl.”

“OH FUCK!” you cry out, squirting hard all over his cock, and you’re more than certain you’ve made a mess on the carpet.

“Such a good little whore,” he praises before pulling out and flipping you on your back.

“Daddy!”

“I know, sweet girl, I know,” he coos, gripping your hips and adjusting you a little before thrusting himself inside you again. “Daddy’s gonna take such good care of you.”

“You...you always, fuck! You always do,” you sob, pulling at the ends of his sweater. “Wanna see all of you, please!”

“Anything for you, sweet girl.”

If Laurie is still out there you can’t hear her.

Andy quickly discards his sweater before dipping down and pressing soft kisses to your collar bone.

“Oh God, please don’t stop, daddy!”

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby! Everything about you...”

“Fuck!”

“C’mere,” he broods before pulling you upright with him. “So fucking gorgeous.”

You look down at him as your hair falls in front of your face, taking in every bit of his hard, beautiful body. You’re sure that you’ll never see a more gorgeous man in your life, and you’re also sure that no one will ever make you feel as good.

His hand travels down between your bodies, and his fingers find your most sensitive spot and you know that everything happening tonight is real. He chooses you, he loves you, and he wants you.

He needs you.

“Too full, daddy! Too...oh God!”

“You can take a little bit more, babygirl,” he husks as he starts rubbing your clit faster.

“Daddy...please! I need it!”

“Gonna make you so fucking happy, sweet girl! Never gonna...fuck, never gonna be brokenhearted again!”

“Fuck! I’m gonna...fuck!” you mewl while clawing at his back.

“Jesus, sweet girl! Let go! Let go right now!”

You scream Andy’s name as your orgasm washes over you, clenching around him tighter when you feel his release filling you up.

Neither of you say anything. You just hold on to him tightly, trying to come down from your euphoria as well as trying to stay awake.

“You okay, babe?” he asks after a moment.

“Mhm.”

“Was I too rough?”

“No daddy.”

His phone buzzes and you whine in protest. “Just rest, sweetheart.”

“You said...you said you have another gift for me,” you breathe as his phone buzzes again. “You may as well answer her.”

“She can wait.”

“Clearly not.”

“Hey, come back to me,” he coos softly. “Don’t get upset over her. Not now, not tonight.”

“She’s just never gonna go away. She’ll always be around.”

“But that has nothing to do with us.”

“Andy-”

“Y/N, I love you. Whatever bullshit Laurie is dealing with is just that: her bullshit. It’s just you and me now.”

“You feel that way now-”

“I’ll always feel that way.”

You sigh and rest your forehead against his, “today was perfect. I love you, thank you.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“What’s my other gift?”

“Oh,” he chuckles, “that. You’re gonna freak out, but don’t.”

“Andy, what did you do?”

“Well, you said you wanted us to go away together.”

“And?”

“You said wanted us to have our own ‘Roman Holiday’.”

“You didn’t!”

“Before you start yelling, it isn’t as expensive as you think it is and-”

“Andy! I said I would save up money!”

“You wanted it, so I wanted you to have it,” he says simply with a shrug.

You cup his face in your hands and kiss him like you’re afraid he’s about to leave you. His hold on you tightens, he deepens the kiss, and you feel him coming back to life.

“Andy,” you moan, grinding yourself against him as his phone buzzes again. “For fucks sake!”

“I’ll answer her and then I swear I’ll take care of you,” he groans, pulling out of you as you settle yourself underneath the Christmas tree.

Andy’s quickly gets his phone, and you undress yourself, deciding that clothes are no longer necessary for the rest of the night.

“What the fuck?” he mumbles as he starts making his way to the front door.

“What’s wrong?”

“More like, what’s right,” he counters as he opens the door. “There’s no fucking way...”

“Andy, what’s going on?”

“Holy shit!” he exclaims, grabbing something out of the mailbox before closing the door, turning to face you. “She signed the papers.”

“Are you serious? What did she say in the texts? Are you fucking serious?”

“A few choice words about you-”

“I can handle it.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Just read it, Andy.”

He sighs before unlocking his phone. “You and that little whore are disgusting, I hope you know that. Also, the whole block can probably hear you two, so that’s a nice gift for everyone on Christmas. I hope whoever the fuck she is that she’s worth all the hell you’re wreaking on our family. I just want you to know that when she walks away, I’ll be ready to take you back. I love you. Merry Christmas.”

“How did she even find our home?”

“Probably Jacob, cause she still doesn’t know that I’m with you.”

“I feel like there’s a catch. Laurie being selfless? It doesn’t add up.”

“Her signature is everywhere it needs to be, sweetheart. It’s finally fucking official,” he smiles at you.

Without giving it another thought, you’re on your feet, running over to him and jumping on him as soon as your arms are around him.

“This is real?”

“As real as it gets, sweetheart.”

“You still want me?”

“Ya know, I think I’ll use the next few hours to show you just how much I still want you. How much I’ll always want you,” he smirks before starting to run up the stairs as you start laughing.

In the back of your mind, you know this isn’t as simple as Laurie is making it seem, but for right now, you don’t care. You belong to Andy completely and he finally belongs to only you. Yes, he’s been telling you how you’re the only one for him, but this is different. It’s so much more. Yeah, you’re one step closer to pure and utter chaos, but you’re also one step closer an actual real relationship that’s truly worth all of the energy and stress you’ve put into it.

Merry Christmas indeed.

**

“I don’t wanna go back to my loft tomorrow,” you sigh as you rest your head on Andy’s chest, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Then just move in. This your home.”

“I know, but we haven’t told Jacob yet and...it’s gonna be hard, but we need to do it. We need to have that talk with him before we officially do anything.”

“He comes back tomorrow, so lets-”

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” you practically mumble as you make little circles on his chest with your pointer finger.

“Y/N.”

“Just hear me out. I’m not backing out of anything, or asking for more time. I just don’t want our vacation to be filled with me crying because Jacob hates me.”

“He won’t-”

“Don’t, Andy. Just don’t. He’s going to be furious with the both of us. I don’t want out first trip away together to be clouded by that.”

“Sweetheart, the trip isn’t until May.”

“I know, I know. So, if you still want to tell him when he gets back tomorrow, I’m fine with that.”

“No, you have a point,” he sighs. “He is gonna be furious and you’re gonna be beside yourself, and that’s something I don’t want. Especially during our very first trip together. I just don’t like keeping it from him.”

“Trust me, I feel the same, but the timing wasn’t right. It didn’t help that it took Laurie for-fucking-ever to sign the damn papers,”

“At least she signed them though, and that’s something to smile about,” he reassures you with a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, you have a point. What did she agree to in the end?”

“She keeps the house, her car, we split our Savings and I keep whatever is in mine, she gets the furniture, and she gets to keep the timeshare we got in California.”

“You have a timeshare?”

“Had a timeshare,” he laughs, but he can sense your uneasiness. “Uh oh, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Talk to me.”

“There’s just so much...I don’t want you to feel like you have get me things because you have more than me.”

“Y/N-”

“And it’s not like I think you’re rich or anything, it’s just very obvious that you have more money than me and-”

“Hey, stop,” he chuckles softly. “I don’t buy you things because I think of you as some charity case. I do it because I love you and I love making you happy.”

“I’m just not used to being loved, Andy. I’m not used to being the girl that someone picks.”

“Well, take as much time as you need to get used to it,” he reassures you before kissing the top of your head.

“You really wanna face the world with me when all of this comes out?”

“I wanna face the world with you no matter what.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than you’ll ever know,” he whispers before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

As you both lay in bed, looking up at the moon, you wonder just how well you both will handle the hell that’s about to come your way. You believe in the love that Andy has for you, and you know it’s stronger than anything you’ve ever felt, but the fear is still there, because who the hell ever chooses you? You’re terrified of pushing him away, but you don’t have a fucking clue in hell how to keep him close when it all becomes too much.

God, you really hope you don’t fuck this up.

Jacob’s P.O.V.

“What do you mean you’re going away?” I ask as you continue to pack.

“I just need to get out of here. I feel like I’m gonna lose my fucking my mind,” you huff, slamming a drawer shut.

It’s not like I haven’t noticed the changes in you since Sarah and I got back from vacation, but this just seems drastic.

Then again, your moods have been too.

You’re either extremely happy or severely distant. You either wanna be left alone or are desperate to hangout. You’re not you and for as much as I wanna ask you about it, Sarah keeps telling me that you’ll talk about it when you’re ready, and I know she’s right, but lately it feels like you’re a million miles away and I can’t reel you back in, no matter how hard I try. I hate that.

I hate feeling like it’s no longer me and you against the world.

“It’s just for a few weeks,” you mutter, throwing more close into your suitcase.

“It’s just my dad and now you-”

“What’s going on with your dad?”

“He told me that he got tickets for a vacation last week. Between work and all the shit with my mom, he just needs a break.”

“That makes sense.”

“Y/N, can you please just take a break and tell me what’s going on?”

“We’ll talk when I get back.”

“Y/N-”

“Jacob, its been a hell of a few months...a hell of a few years. I just need to finally do something for me.”

What aren’t you telling me?

“Y/N, what’s going on with you? I know you say that nothing’s changed between us, but it feels like it has. I don’t feel close to you anymore.”

“Jake-”

“You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed a change in our friendship.”

“Of course there is! Both of our lives are changing! You’re planning a wedding!”

“And what about your life? What’s going on? Please talk to me!”

You’re hesitant before you answer me, “I might be moving when I get back. I don’t know, nothing’s been decided yet.”

“Moving? Where? Why?”

“It’s just time for a change. I feel like I need to uproot and start over. I’m not gonna be far, I’m just-”

“Are you moving in with someone?”

You’re hesitant again. “Why does it matter?”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Jake, whether I am or I’m not doesn’t concern you.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Jake-”

“Is it my dad?”

“What the...why would you say that?”

“My mom’s been saying-”

“Don’t finish that statement,” you warn before walking over to your dresser and grabbing more clothes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We’ll talk about of it when I get back.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I don’t wanna fucking talk about it right now!” you snap, throwing your things down.

I’ve clearly hit some nerve, because you’ve never acted this way with me before.

“Y/N-”

“I just can’t do this right now. That’s all there is to it. There’s a lot going on that I don’t know how to deal with and I don’t know how to put them into words, so I just don’t feel like doing it now.”

“There was a time when you were okay with telling me everything, and now-”

“How are things with Sarah?’ you counter.

“What do you mean-we’re fine?”

“Then why aren’t off planning a wedding with her?”

“One, everything is on hold till you get back; not my decision, hers. Two, my best friend is icing me out-”

“I’m not icing you out, Jacob!”

“Listen, if you’re just over this friendship, just have the fucking decency to say it, because-”

“Jacob, just stop! Please...stop,” you sob.

Great, now I feel like an asshole.

“Y/N-”

“When I get back, okay? We’ll talk about everything when I get back, okay?”

“You could always talk to me before-”

“And I know I can now,” you interrupt with a heavy sigh, “I’m just tired of talking and planning right now. I need a break and then I’ll be back to myself.”

I can’t fault you for that. You’ve spent your whole life arguing and planning, it only make sense that you’re fed up.

But still.

“When you get back?”

“I promise, Jake.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jacob. Just go home and rest, okay?”

Something is off, but there’s no use in pushing. Not when you’re like this.

All I can do is give you a kiss on the cheek before making my way out of your place. I guess I made it our home, which was fucked up on my part.

It’s not like I lied to my dad when I said that my feelings for you aren’t stronger than the love I have for Sarah, it’s just that you’ve always made me feel normal. Being my friend has never been easy, but you’ve never left my side. You’ve always defended me, gotten into actual fights, and have always believed me. Believed in me. Sarah and I separated at one point, and it’s not like I can blame her, but you...you’ve always been there. From the day that we met, you’ve never let my side.

I know that you’ll eventually meet someone and they’ll become the love of your life, and they’ll more than likely be older, but the way that my mother is going on about it being my father...you wouldn’t do that, would you?

I’m your best friend.

However, you didn’t deny it and that has me on edge. You probably haven’t noticed, but I see the way he looks at you, and I know you think he’s insanely attractive (like every other woman in this dumb little town). I can handle you being with someone else, but my dad?

What does he have that I don’t?

“Is everything okay?” Sarah asks as I make my way into our home; bridal magazines everywhere.

“She says so.”

“Baby, I’m sure whatever is going on, she’ll tell you when she gets back.”

“Her and my dad leaving on the same day? Even you have to notice that it’s a bit strange.”

“Babe-”

“Plus, every time I ask him about his girlfriend, he changes the subject, which is fucking weird since they’ve been dating for months.”

“Well, what did she say when you asked her?”

“She didn’t confirm it.”

“There ya go.”

“She also didn’t deny it.”

“If there’s anything to tell you, she will.”

“Why are you so calm about this?”

“Because I don’t care,” she scoffs with a shrug.

“Well, why not?!”

“Honey, they’re both adults. If they want to date, just let them, it’s really not a big deal.”

“So, you don’t care that Y/N might be the reason that my dad left my mom?”

“No, because you and I both know that the problems in your parents’ marriage didn’t start with y/n. I think that there’s a bigger issue here.”

“Not that shit again!”

“Jacob, just tell me-”

“I just want you, babe. I only want you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sarah, you’ve been the one ever since I met you, and that’s not changing any time soon,” I promise with a smile.

It’s not like it’s a lie. Sarah is the only person I want to be with...I just need you to be with anyone but my dad. That’s not asking too much...is it?

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“We have to go to the Mouth of Truth before leave!” you whine as Andy picks you up and carries you into the villa you’ve both been staying at for a week and a half.

“We’re gonna go, I promise,” he laughs, “we’ve got two more days.”

“No, lets just stay here. Here is so much better.”

“I wish we could, sweetheart,” he sighs as his phone goes off. “For fucks sake.”

“Just ignore it.”

“You know I can’t,” he mutters as he sets you down before taking out his phone and answering it. “Hey bud, what’s up?”

For the most part, the vacation has been amazing. The villa Andy got you both is beautiful, you’ve been to almost every place you’ve seen in ‘Roman Holiday’ along with a few places that Andy’s always wanted to visit, the dinners you two have made for each other have perfect, and the sex has been remarkable.

That doesn’t mean it’s been smooth sailing.

Every day, Jacob calls you and Andy, looking for cracks in either of your stories, Laurie texts him non-stop, and Sarah has told you multiple times that she’s getting tired of Jacob’s obsession over the whole.

If things are this bad, you can’t even begin to imagine how much worse they’ll be when you two get home and tell everyone. However, you’re not home yet, and you’re determined to make the best of the last few days you two have left. You quickly slip into the blue lace lingerie you were saving for the last day of the trip, your skinny black heels, and let your hair done. You do a quick look over in the mirror before making your way downstairs.

“I’m sure she’ just taking a break from...,” Andy trails off once his eyes land on you, jaw dropping just a little.

Mission accomplished.

“I’m sorry, I got distracted,” he almost stutters as he clears his throat, “I’m sure she’s just taking a break...she is on vacation, Jake.”

“Hang up,” you mouth as you straddle him, starting to undo the button on his jeans.

“You said she seemed pretty stressed and frustrated when she was packing, so I would imagine....she has a lot going on. I’m sure she’ll tell you everything when she gets back...I’ve been working non-stop for 4 years, Jake. I just-” he gasps as you slide yourself down on him, “I-I needed a break. Your mother and I talked about gong away a lot, but....but we never did it.”

“Hang up,” you mouth again as you start to pick your pace, hitting that spot deep within that makes you come alive for him.

“Listen, when...when I get back home, you and I will have a lunch or dinner, and we’ll talk about everything...y-yes...yes, we can go to the diner,” he breathes as he grips your throat tight, “I’ll talk to you later and I’ll be home soon.”

“Daddy please,” you mouth, gripping his shoulders as your climax starts to build. “Need you so much.”

Andy’s eyes go wide as he watches you, memorized by the way you move your hips as you take your bra off, your mouth agape as you try to hold on.

“I gotta...I gotta go, okay? Yes Jacob, we’ll talk soon...I really gotta go...I love you too,” he grunts before finally fucking hanging up.

“Daddy!” you cry out come undone, leaning your forehead against his.

“Now, who told you to be a whore and pull that little stunt, huh?”

“I want all of your attention, daddy. This is our trip, isn’t it?”

“You don’t feel important?” he taunts as he wraps his arms around before getting up, “you don’t think you’re my main focus?”

“No,” you moan, wrapping your legs around him as the feel of him deeper inside of you starts driving you insane as he heads for up the stairs.

“I thought I was doing a good idea of that night after night.”

“Shit,” you moan, grinding yourself against him.

“And every morning when I wake you up by eating this perfect little pussy.”

“I just need...need you! Didn’t feel important,” you whine.

“Let daddy fix that,” he smirks, laying you down on the bed before fucking into you relentlessly. “Let daddy make you feel better!”

“Fuck!”

“My sweet, sweet girl.”

“Oh my God!”

“You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. God, I never get tired at looking you...at this perfect little body.”

“Fuck, I’m so...so close!”

“Yeah? You gonna be a good girl and cream on daddy’s cock?”

All you can do is nod.

“Use your words,” he growls, slapping your clit.

“Fuck! Yes...YES!” you cry out, gripping the sheets as your body trembles.

“Such a good girl,” he praises as he pulls out, “I want you to tell me how good you taste,” he coos as he slides two fingers inside of you.

“Fuck, daddy!”

“Tell me, baby,” he encourages as he smears your lips with your cum. “Daddy really wants to know.”

“So good,” you moan as you lick your lips.

“Yeah? I think I’ll find out for myself,” he smirks before getting on his knees.

“Fuck, you make...make me feel...shit!” you cry out, gripping his hair as uses three of his fingers fuck you, while he sucks and licks your clit. “So fucking good to me,” you moan.

You prop up yourself using one of your elbows and look down, meeting Andy’s intense gaze on you.

“I...I love you so much, Andy,” you brood, feeling that knot in your core tighten. “I only...only need...you!” you cry out, coating his fingers (and you’re sure his face) with your release.

Andy takes his time cleaning you up, keeping his eyes on you, before slowly peppering you body with the most soft and delicate kisses hes ever given you, as he makes his way up your body.

“Never been this in love with anyone,” he groans he pushes himself inside of you. “Never knew I could be this in love.”

“Andy!”

“You are everything to me. I’m gonna love you until...until my dying breath,” his promises as his movements start to become erratic.

Between your juices still glistening on his beard, his words, and the fact that he keeps hitting that spot inside of you that makes your whole body ignite, you feel yourself ready to come apart for the final part.

“Can’t...need to let go!”

“Do it, sweet girl! Give me everything!”

“Andy!” you sob, squirting all over his cock as you dig your nails into his back.

“Fuck!”

You both just stay there for a moment, living in the moment, and trying to commit to memory how perfect this moment is.

“I’m just tired of hiding, baby,” you breathe after a moment.

“I know sweetheart, I can’t wait to tell Jacob about us.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Sweetheart, it’s not going to be ideal, and I know we’ll have hell to pay, but I just want to be with you. That’s all I care about at this point. Hell or high water, we’ll finally be together for real. I’m in love with you and I want to finally express that the right way. Not just in private.”

“He’s gonna be so hurt, Andy.”

“I know, sweetheart, but he’ll get over it.”

“Can we just ignore our phones for the next few days? The trip is almost over and I don’t wanna deal with anything that’ll make us unhappy until we get back.”

“Sounds good to me, sweet girl. Come here,” he coaxes softly.

You move closer to him and lay your head on his chest, sighing in content as he wraps his arms around you.

There will never be a better feeling than being in Andy’s arms.

“Lets just do it when we get back. We can do dinner at our house and we’ll just...we’ll deal with it,” Andy suggests with a heavy sigh. “Our flight lands at 3:30...it’s time to get it over with. Tell Jacob then tell Laurie.”

“Oh God, Laurie.”

“Yeah, that’ll more than likely go worse than everything with Jacob.”

“What the fuck did we get ourselves into?” you laugh humorlessly.

“Love. We got ourselves into love.”

“You’re damn right we did,” you smile up at him.

For the rest of the trip, you and Andy ignore your phones and just focus on each other. You go site seeing, dancing, make love, watch ‘Roman Holiday’, make dinners, go out to the best restaurants, and just live in the moment. There’s no sense in pretending that going home won’t be chaotic, so you both decide that it’s best to just live in the moment until it’s time to go back.

Until it’s time to deal with the consequences of your actions.

“Andy, are you sure-”

“Honey, I know all of this is scary, but I’m not changing my mind. It’s gonna be rough, it’s gonna suck, but we’ll get through it,” he interrupts as you both lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling.

“I just want you to be sure that you want this. Want us. Want me.”

“I’m never gonna change my mind, sweetheart. I’m all in forever. Are you?”

“You’re the only one for me. Always have been and you always will be.”

“Just don’t forget that we have each other, okay? No matter how chaotic it may seem, you have me and I have you.”

“You don’t forget either.”

“It’s you and me,” he smiles down at you. “It’s me and you until the end.”

As you both lay in bed, trying to calm your nerves about heading back tomorrow, you know that you both have the same question on your mind: how the fuck do we approach this?

“Lets do dinner at the loft,” you suggest, catching yourself as you’re about to fall asleep.

“Hm?”

“I think it’ll soften the blow. Us telling him that we’re together and that we’re living together? It’s gonna be too much at once.”

“But you’re moving in-”

“No, I know, but lets just take it one thing at a time. If we tell him we went on vacation together, have been dating for a while, and live together, he’s gonna lose his shit.”

“You’re making a more than good point and that’s annoying.”

“Trust me, I don’t like it either. He knows that I’m moving and I’m sure that he’ll put two and two together once we tell him, but I think the visualization will be too much for him.”

“Alright, we’ll tell him at the loft and you’ll finally move home the next day?”

“I promise.”

“Then we better get some sleep. We have an early flight.”

“Sounds good...I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

As you both settle into bed, anxiety at an all time high, you hope and pray that telling Jacob won’t be as bad as you think it will be.

Yeah, he’ll be hurt and annoyed, but he’ll hopefully get over it quick...right?

You drift off to sleep with that thought leading and you can only pray to God that you’re right.

Please, just this once, let things not be painful.

**

“What time are they coming over?” Andy yawns as gets out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, sitting next to you on the sofa.

“One, get dressed,” you laugh, “two, you need a damn nap.”

“I’m fine.”

“You know I can see you, right? That’s bullshit, you need rest.”

“It’ll just fuck up me adjusting to the time change. Lets watch something that’ll keep me awake.”

“Or, you can take a nap and store up your energy.”

“There is never going to be enough sleep in the world for me to tell my son that I’m in love with his best friend.”

“That’s fair.”

“What are you watching?”

“ ‘Chicago’”

“Of course you are,” he laughs as he wraps an arm around you. “What time will they be here?”

“In two hours.”

“Shit, okay.”

“Just take a deep breath, baby. At least we’ll tell him and have it out of the way. Like you said last week, he won’t be angry with you forever.”

“He won’t be angry with you forever, either.”

“I’m not worried about me. I can handle him hating me, I just want you two to be okay.”

“Sweetheart-”

“I mean it, Andy. Your relationship with him is more important than mine.”

Andy says nothing. He just cups your face and kisses you passionately, and you let yourself get lost in it.

Lost in him.

It’s not like you two mean to get carried away, but it’s so hard for you two to contain yourselves. Soon enough, the kiss leads to you two making out, making out leads to you straddling him and grinding yourself against him, which leads to you on your knees and blowing him, which is why your clothes and the towel he was wearing are now on the floor and he’s fucking you senseless.

“Oh my God!’ you whimper as Andy picks up his pace as he sits up.

“You take my fucking cock so well, sweet girl!”

“Daddy!”

“No one has ever been take me as well as you do, not even her,” he grunts and smirks when you clench around him.

You’ll never admit it outloud but you love it when he tells you how much better you are at pleasing than Laurie ever was. Yes, it’s mean petty, and a bit sick, but fuck all if it doesn’t make you feel all that much more special and important to him.

“You got so fucking wet just from sucking daddy’s cock! Should’ve tasted this perfect little pussy before I started fucking it!”

“Oh my...fuck!’

“Got your fucking cream all over my fucking cock! God, wish you could see...shit, you I could stay in this fucking cunt all day!”

“Daddy!’

“I should film me fucking you, just so you can see just how well this greedy little cunt takes my cock!”

“Please!” you mindlessly beg, with one hand clawing at the bed and the other clawing at his chest.

“Of course my good little whore wants to me film me filling up this pretty little pussy,” he smirks devilishly before slapping your clit.

“Jesus...fuck!”

“I’ll fill this pussy then, while I fuck your ass, you can watch how wrecked you looked while I fucked this sweet little cunt. You want that, sweet girl?”

You’re too blissed out to answer. Andy spits on your on your already soaked and sticky cunt, before starting to massage your clit.

“Can’t...can’t...daddy please!”

“You don’t cum until you answer me,” he husks. “Do you want to record us? Do you wanna watch how well you take daddy’s fat cock while I fuck your perfect little ass?”

“Yes! Yes, I wanna see how well...how I take your cock, daddy! How good I am at pleasing you!”

“Fuck, and the way your perfect tits bounce with every thrust! You’re so fucking perfect, sweet girl! Ya know, daddy thinks he’ll record you soaking the bed,” he chuckles before grabbing his phone off your nightstand.

You two always take it too far.

“Look at the camera, baby. Fuck, those tears! Feel too good sweet girl?” “Yes daddy! I need to...I need to let go!”

“Such a good little whore, keep your eyes on the camera as you cum, sweet-”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Jacob exclaims as he bursts through the door.

And busted.

“Jacob, get out!” Andy yells, instantly covering you as you cum hard and squirt all over Andy’s cock and the bed.

This is definitely in the top three moments you never want relieve or remember in your life.

“You fucking said-”

“Go wait in the kitchen! Get out!” Andy yells as you bury your face in the crook of his neck in an attempt to hide.

Jacob huffs before slamming your bedroom door shut. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go at all.

“Looks like someone found his key to my place,” you mutter as you fight off your tears.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“Why? Why the fuck did we have to get carried away now?!”

“I’ll go out there and-”

“No, we’ll go together. I just...I need a moment.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart.”

“This isn’t on you. You didn’t force me into anything; I wanted you. I always want you. I knew they were coming and I still...fuck!”

“We can do this another-”

“No, he’s already seen...we may as well just deal with this now.”

“Are you sure, sweetheart?”

“I’m all in,” you smile up at him weakly.

Andy cleans you up and the both take your time getting dressed, not sure how the hell you’re going to approach the current situation at hand. You pull on the AC/DC sweatshirt Andy got you and the Boston College sweatpants Jacob got you, while Andy opts to only wear a pair of black sweatpants.

If the situation weren’t what it is, you would drag him back to bed, but there’s obviously no time for that.

“Does anyone want a drink?” you ask as you two finally make your way out of your room.

“I’ll take one,” Sarah mumbles as she leans against the kitchen island.

“We need to talk about-”

“We’re definitely gonna talk about it. Do you want a drink?” you interrupt Jacob as you pull two glasses out of the cabinet.

“You’re acting like-”

“I’m not acting like anything, Jacob. You and I are about to have a talk about how I’ve been dating your father and in love with him for a while. I’m gonna have a fucking drink. How about you? Do you want something that’ll help the sting or do you wanna have this talk completely sober?” you ask, finally turning your attention to him.

He’s thoughtful before he speaks, “yeah, I guess I’ll take that drink.”

“You?” you ask as you turn to Andy.

“Yeah, I think I will, sweetheart.”

You pour the four of you a tall glass of bourbon, before handing them all out and standing at Andy’s side.

“So...lets have it out. Lets talk about...your father and your best friend,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink. “Lets talk about your father and your best friend being in love.”

~~

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[bellaxgiornata]

Keep Coming Back to You (Series Prologue)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Serena McKenna–that was the name you’d given yourself years ago. There was no point going by your real name, not when you’d lost your old life long ago. It’s not like you belonged anywhere, either. Not when you constantly traveled the multiverse–or rather you hid in the multiverse. From them. You’d been on the run ever since they’d learned of your existence, back when you’d been trapped on the hellish world of Nightmare 1, the place you’d spent years perfecting the control over your emotions just to avoid being pulled there against your will again.

Then one day you met him. Matthew Murdock. The only person you’d ever let get close enough to love, and the one who inevitably broke your heart. But for some damn reason you kept finding yourself right back in his path no matter how far you tried to run.

Warnings: 18+ for this series; angst, smut, horror, language, violence (& a brief comment about sexual assault in the prologue)

Word Count: 2,300

a/n: Just posted this up on AO3 (which is where I have posted all four of my other Matt Murdock series) but figured I'd try sharing a piece fully on tumblr for the first time ever and see how it goes. I figured the prologue of this new series was a good place to start. The entirety of the prologue is below the cut! And yes, this is the Matt Murdock series with zombies I shared a snippet of a bit ago on tumblr.

PROLOGUE

The heat was sweltering on your walk home, sweat dripping down your hairline as the sun beat down overhead. Your heavy backpack that was pressed to the back of your tee-shirt wasn’t helping, either; you were positive there was a massive damp spot hiding behind the bag. Each step on the sidewalk only jostled the heavy books you were toting on your back against the damp, clinging fabric as your feet took you back to your current foster home as if by muscle memory already.

But you weren’t too focused on your discomfort as you walked, your mind currently centered on one thought: Kyle Felton. You’d been partnered up with him for a grammar activity in English class today. While he hadn’t exactly been friendly and talkative with you, he hadn’t exactly been mean to you today, either. Which had only further grown your absolutely ridiculous crush on him. 

You knew it was foolish to feel this way, too. Kyle Felton was on the football team. He was one of the cool kids who was vastly out of your league with his perfect blonde hair and his stupid boyishly attractive face. His sarcastic jokes that he always had the nerve to disrupt teachers’ classes with had caught your attention on the first day of school, and you’d been surprised that he was so well-liked that even the teachers found his interruptions entertaining and delightful. It didn’t help that ever since P.E. class three days ago you’d glimpsed the six-pack of his abs that you hadn’t known existed until his gym shirt had ridden up just enough during a game of basketball that allowed you to catch sight of the muscle. And then you’d been unable to stop thinking about him shirtless ever since. It was a miracle you hadn’t been struck dumb working with him today in class.

But it didn’t matter how much you liked Kyle and it never would. And that was not just because you often got bounced around the system, moving from foster home to foster home your entire life and making it difficult to maintain relationships with anyone. No, it was because a boy like that would never take notice of you . It didn’t matter that you were the new kid at Glenview High School this year because you’d already been deemed an outcast. The weird, quiet girl. The one with no family. Even the art club kids you’d often always managed to befriend seemed to snub you at this high school. 

Despite how much your new foster family had been growing on you over the past month and a half, you honestly hated it here. At least you had friends at your last high school, even if your foster parents were too busy to ever notice when you were even home. You hated that feeling of loneliness that seemed to cling to you like a second skin wherever you went, as if you never truly belonged anywhere with anyone.

“Oh, there she is! I thought that was the new girl,” a voice rang out, interrupting your train of thought.

Your head whipped up at the sound of your name being called out. The moment you spotted the three girls pushing away from the side of the local downtown coffee shop–a place you learned most of the teens here hung out at–your hands instinctively gripped onto the straps of your backpack. Swallowing hard, you came to a stop on the sidewalk.

Lindsey, Marissa, and Deirdre were approaching you, each of them moving with an exaggerated saunter and sway of their hips. You felt your palms prick with sweat which was not due to the late afternoon heat. 

Mean girls were what they were. Always tormenting you any chance they got in and out of class, but their bullying had always remained in the confines of the school, so you certainly hadn’t been expecting them to ambush you on your walk home. 

“Well come on,” Marissa pressed, stopping just a few feet in front of you with both girls flanking either side of her, “aren’t you going to say hi? Or are you really a mute?”

“Did one of your previous foster parents really cut out your tongue?” Lindsey goaded, a cruel smile on her pink lips as she gestured to your mouth. “Because that’s what I heard.”

“Well I heard she let her previous foster daddy touch her,” Deirdre mused, crossing her arms and shooting you a sneer. “Her foster mom found out and had her sent away. That’s why she’s here now.”

You’d quickly come to learn that you faired better when you didn’t fight back with bullies. It’s not like you knew how to fight anyway. So instead of meeting their taunts with one of your own, you let that fear curl itself around you as you abruptly spun on your heel, turning back the way you’d just come. Fine, you would take the longer way home today. You’d just come up with some excuse for your foster parents about how you’d stayed after school trying out a new club.

Though you only made it two steps before something roughly yanked at your backpack, the gesture pulling you backwards. Looking over your shoulder, you spotted Marissa holding onto the handle of your backpack with a vicious smile on her face. 

“Well that’s rude,” she spat. “Just going to walk away without a word?”

She gave another sharp tug on your backpack, her effort managing to pull the straps halfway down your arms. With a chorus of laughter, the other two girls joined her until they’d tugged the backpack entirely from off of you.

“Hey!” you exclaimed, spinning back around towards them. “That’s mine!”

“Ohh, she speaks!” Lindsey squealed.

Marissa held up your backpack with one hand, her head tilting curiously to the side as she eyed the faded maroon bag. “What do you think is in here?” she asked the other girls. “You think she carries candles and some Satanic bible?”

Lindsey was nodding her head enthusiastically in response. “Oh, totally. I bet she summons the Devil after school,” she agreed.

“Bet she’d fuck him, too,” Deirdre snapped, her dark eyes scanning you up and down. 

Your heart was pounding hard in your chest, your hands clenching tightly into fists at your sides. It was taking everything in you not to begin crying from the fear and rage growing inside of you. You wanted to snatch your bag back from Marissa, your body shaking with the desire to just reach out and rip your bag back from her manicured hands. Instead, you helplessly watched her unzip the backpack before she turned it upside down, dumping the contents at her feet with a loud clatter. She toed the textbooks out of her way with her expensive looking sandals, a smile lighting up her face when she spotted the CDs on the pavement.

“Oh, wow, you would listen to this demonic shit,” she teased.

She placed her shoe over the top of one of the CDs and stepped down hard until you heard a crunch . You flinched, tears pricking at your eyes. You’d gone weeks at a foster home a few years ago not eating lunches at school just to afford those few CDs–the only possessions you had besides some clothing. The other girls only laughed, encouraging Marissa to crush the other CDs. 

When she placed her foot over another, you took a step towards her, your curled fist raising and drawing back ready to strike. You wanted to punch her in that pretty little face of hers. But you didn’t get very far, because the moment you began to swing your fist forward, something solid hit you in the side of your own face. Pain shot through the left side of your face as your vision briefly blurred from tears. You stumbled backwards at the impact, falling onto your ass on the pavement and scraping your hands as you tried to catch yourself. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Devil lover?” Deirdre growled. 

Your left hand flew to your cheek, wincing as the skin stung under your light touch. All three girls were towering above where you sat on the pavement. Deirdre was still raising a fist towards you as if she was intending to punch you again. You flinched when she drew her hand back like she was about to and that only drew out another round of laughter from them. 

“What a big baby!” Lindsey cried out.

“Look, she’s even crying,” Marissa mocked you. “Poor thing, we really upset her.”

Eyes snapping shut, you drew your legs into your chest, letting the tears flow freely down your cheeks. You just wanted to disappear, you wanted to get away. You were embarrassed and scared and hurt. Your heart was hammering wildly against your ribcage as you internally begged them to just finish smashing your CDs and lose interest in you for the evening. 

And that was when a strange sensation fell over you.

Something ice cold made its way up your back, snaking its way up the length of your spine despite the burning heat of the day. It felt like a pair of freezing cold hands had gripped onto your shoulders before you were suddenly and sharply pulled backwards.

Your eyes clenched tighter at the feeling of whatever was happening to you next. It felt like you were falling through the air while simultaneously being crushed. Your organs felt like they were twisting and squishing together inside of you as a high-pitched ringing hit your ears. 

Something solid hit your back hard and you cried out in pain at the unexpected impact. The sensation of falling had abruptly disappeared but you were hit with a sudden wave of dizziness that overtook you before you’d even opened your eyes. Flipping yourself over, you vomited right there on the sidewalk. You’d expected to hear more taunts and teasing as you retched, but you didn’t hear anything. After a moment, the spinning sensation slowly wore off and you opened your eyes, wondering if the girls had finally left you. 

You froze instantly, utterly confused when you saw you were sitting on the floor of what looked like a destroyed gas station. The windows were shattered and broken, something like ivy snaking in through the shattered glass. A few nonfunctioning lights on the ceiling were dangling haphazardly above you. The tiled floor you found yourself on was coated in dirt and dust and now accompanied by the contents of your stomach. 

In a panic you crawled backwards along the floor, your eyes darting all around you as you moved. The shelves seemed almost entirely bare and you spotted a few empty plastic bottles littering the dirty floor. There were no lights running in the store, either. Not even the ‘Exit’ sign was lit. Your heart rate quickly picked back up.

Where the fuck am I?

You had just been on the sidewalk. Deirdre had just punched you in the face–you could still feel the sharp sting of where she’d struck you on your cheek. Those three mean girls had just been laughing at you, crushing your CDs. How the hell were you suddenly in a rundown gas station? 

Why the hell were you suddenly in a rundown gas station?

A shiver ran over you, your arms crossing over your chest as goosebumps dotted your skin. You realized it was cold in the store. Which didn’t make sense considering there couldn’t be any air conditioning running without electricity and it had been sweltering outside just a moment ago. 

Carefully you pulled yourself up to your feet, grabbing onto a nearby shelf to steady yourself as you moved. Your legs felt weak underneath you as you stood staring out of the broken windows before you. Your other hand flew over your mouth as you took in the sight outside.

There were rusted and paint-faded cars with their doors left hanging open outside, as if whoever had been in them had quickly abandoned them. Judging by the few trees you could see, it looked like late autumn with how sparsely covered in leaves the branches were. The parking lot and road just outside were cracked and worn, covered in potholes that clearly were in need of repair. As you continued to survey your new surroundings, your eyes spotted a bloody handprint on the hood of a white car. A nauseous feeling roiled in your gut at the sight.

Had you suddenly had a mental break? Were you delusional in an asylum somewhere? Being fed pills and hallucinating nightmares now? Was that what was happening to you?

A loud, choked sob fell out of you behind your hand, tears once again spilling out of your eyes and streaming back down your cheeks. You were terrified and confused. Alone yet again. The tears freely flowed out of you, hot and wet as you sobbed pathetically in the ruined gas station.

What was happening to you? Was any of this real? And how the fuck had you gotten here?

A noise in the distance caught your attention, breaking through the cries of your distress that were spilling out of you. The sound was unlike anything you’d ever heard before. It rang out again only seconds later, the sound sending a chill down your body and raising the hair on the back of your neck.

It sounded like some sort of animal you’d never heard before, something that was loosing a guttural screech that you heard echoing in the distance. As you stood there in the gas station, tears still quietly running down your face, you noticed it had gotten quieter around you. Even the bit of bird call you’d heard only moments ago had come to an eerie silence.

Where the fuck were you?

#matthew murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock series #matt murdock fic #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fanfic

[padfootastic]

hi! i've no idea how i came to your page but i realised i'd read two of your one-shots in ao3 before and had adored them (you'll probably get comments from me in future, btw) and i just wanted to say thank you for your writing and thank you for your prongsfoot<3

i've been very critical of this sort of new, cool and aloof and martyred version of remus lupin for quite a while now (honestly, where did all those traits come from?!) and gosh, you're so eloquent when talking about him!!!

i was wondering what your thoughts were on regulus black? because i think he's getting the same sort of royalty treatment as remus does by making him sort of-- er, perfect? i mean. i've seen so much recently of him basically saving the world single-handedly and i-- ugh. and james is always just there, like a useless idiot? it makes me irrationally angry, and this is coming from someone who enjoys jegulus quite a bit. my problem is that i don't know if this rejection i feel against those two comes from a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty.

anyway, again, thank you for your writing. it's truly beautiful. hope you have a great day!

omg hello 🥺 i’ve periodically opened tumblr, giggling like a loon, and logging off multiple times just to see this ask,,,,thank u sm , ur way too kind <3 and ur comment on ao3!!! i was just,,,,yeah,,,no words. thank u.

ooooooh i remember being asked something similar a while ago and i took the safe route and basically went ‘remus lupin-ification of regulus’ iirc. that still stands. but but. i’ve also got another answer here! all hail tumblr’s search system today!

i still basically stand by all of it, but adding onto the jegulus + sirius bits of it:

annoys tf outta me when regulus is turned into a victim and like sirius damned him to hell when he left . i have thoughts about the way both of them were treated (which,,,another time,,,this post is already getting too long lol) but i imagine the day sirius left to be a Good One for reg bc he thinks he’ll have his parents undivided attention now. i also think regulus is severely defanged in a lot of characterisations, as if he wasn’t a baby DE, as if he wasn’t a slytherin from the house of black, as if he wasn’t walmart sirius black. like man i’m almost offended on his behalf. i’m sure his shaking his lil fist up at us from wherever he is.

with jegulus…okay, i’ve only read a couple oneshots but that doesn’t mean i haven’t tried. i genuinely went thru so many fics trying to get something, anything to stick and i think the problem is me. fully. completely. without doubt. i just can’t deal with a situation where j&s aren’t each others no.1, or at the very least, equivalent to that. that’s where my issues w wolfstar started, same w this. jegulus also has the added horror of ‘james and reg sneaking behind sirius’ back’ which is just,,,,gosh,,,,i have So Many Thoughts ab that. all personal opinions, but still. they’re strong. it fucks me up just thinking about it. i also think the ship tries wayyyy too hard to fit the ‘best friend’s brother’ trope and ends up sacrificing characterisation for it. which,,,again,,,that’s fine but it’s all the ‘oh this is how it was!’ that gets to me. and then james :/// he gives off such weird energy lol. jegulus gives me drarry vibes, and james is treated almost exactly as harry is in a lot of those. reg also gets the saviour treatment, like draco, and both of their fuckery is toned down until they’re almost normal, like they never did any reprehensible shit. j&r, and d&h are placed on the same moral equivalence and it’s just a bit. hmm. okay. (my issue with this is how it leaks into the writing and suddenly i’m made to sympathise with draco bc harry slashed him w sectumsempra, but we conveniently forget he was gonna use an unforgivable, ykno?) so overall it just feels…pushing reg up and pulling james down to get them on equal footing. very similar to wolfstar lbr.

anyway. that’s a ramble and a half lmao.

also!! ‘a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty’ in my mind, both of these occupy a similar plane of existence. so very valid. for me, personally, hating remrem started as the latter and i eventually realised it’s also the former lol i was just mad a how sirius is bastardised to justify his ~deification and it eventually moved on to ‘wow i just. do not like him’. damn.

#anti jegulus #jegulus hate #tagging those just to be safe lol #also #haha love it that my hatred of remus is A Proper Thing now #it’s a knife being honed for years #and now i am Attacking #i’m so fed up lmaooo #it doesn’t help i keep being enabled on here 💀 #i’ve disliked him for years. but quietly. bc i thought it was just me #and now i’m here and can’t keep shut 😭 #it’s a problem lol #it’s also funny bc when i started using tumblr a year ago #i was…so careful #mincing my words and being all apologetic and shit #bc i was like. i don’t wanna step on any toes #‘i don’t want unwanted discourse’ #and now look at me #i think it’s mainly also bc i’ve managed to cultivate a niche. where all my anons r wonderful and mutuals r a+. #so i’m insulated from the outside drama #best way to live really #anyway. enough rambling. #obligatory disclaimer: i don’t care if someone is OOC. i just want to it to be indicated to in some capacity so i can choose s’all #that being said: my fav reg characterisation? him as a little loser #it’s the absolute best #he’s so ripe for it #bc he screams disgruntled younger sibling to me tbh #once again!!! thank u sm for being so lovely💜💜 #ppb #pen’s asks

[misspearly1]

When Two Worlds Collide Series

Chp1 || Chp2 || Chp3 || Chp4 || Chp5 || Chp6 || Chp7 || Chp8

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader x Arthur Morgan 

Chapter One: The Hidden Antique

WC: 4.9k

Warnings: 18+ Content. Minors DNI. Friends to Lovers. Flirting. Little bit of fluff. Eventual Smut. Arthur doesn’t make an appearance in this chapter. A little background and build up in the story first. 

AN: Ok, my loves. This is pretty much an introduction and a lead up to what happened (in relation to the kinktober crossover fic). Starts off with Joel, then Arthur will eventually make an appearance. I’ve broken up the story because posting large works can be a little difficult on tumblr (it crashes terribly lol). I hope you enjoy the first chapter though. Thank you!

You’ve often wondered about the evolution of a yard sale; like where did the idea originate from and who came up with it? Or why does it feel so exciting to sift through second hand goods, looking to buy something that catches your eye? Perhaps it’s because you can sometimes come across antiques hidden amongst the cluttered pile, and finding something that’s not only expensive, but lavish, decorative and useful too, is very exciting indeed. 

These questions spring to mind this afternoon when passing through a neighbourhood adjacent to yours. You were in the process of driving home after a long day at work, but stopped the car with a sudden burst of joy when seeing a yard sale sign. They always said one man’s trash is another man's treasure, and while you’re not a man, you do believe in that saying and felt it was worthwhile to take a look through the household goods laid out across the front lawn. 

Of course, it looked messy and disorganized with the chairs, tables and even the sidewalk bestrewn with clutter, but you have a little experience with locating the valuables amongst the household junk. You have a keen eye for these things, and it paid off really well too because not even thirty minutes after you stopped the car, you managed to bag unopened box of fairy lights to place around your home somewhere, several scented candles to use for those nights you’d love to take a relaxing bath, a summer dress with the price still attached which is perfectly timed since the summer season is here and many new books to read as well.

But the most valuable item that you bagged today is the mirror. A hidden gem, you might call it, as the mirror was buried behind an attics worth of trash. It’s body length in size, oval shaped and sturdy, embellished with finely hand carved details in the wooden frame and it would fit perfectly in the corner of your bedroom. Even the stand it came with was worth a pretty penny. The whole piece is a vintage antique and highly valuable.

Having said that however, you didn’t want to hustle the man selling the item and told him that it was worth more than the asking price, but he already knew. Josh Sinclair — the seller — reassured you that the price was right for him. He just wanted to get rid of the damn thing as it had been collecting dust in his grandpa’s attic for years, and the reason he drove the price down is because it’s plastered with a heavy layer of soot and black paint.

According to Josh, his grandpa tried to burn the mirror years ago, but failed with the attempt and just painted it over instead. Frankly, you wouldn’t have taken any interest in buying the thing if you didn’t know how to clean it up and bring it back to a good condition. It’s not something you’re planning to sell once you restore it. You want to keep it in your home.

Though, you still didn’t feel comfortable with the asking price and debated a little more with the man, and in the end, you both settled on forty bucks and now it's yours. You paid for your other items then took them to your car before opening the trunk and folding the back seats down. After a struggle and muttering a string of curses under your breath, you dusted your hands off and turned to look at Josh, still feeling guilty for how little he was taking. The mirror is worth thousands. 

Reaching into your pocket and pulling out another thirty dollars, you presented it to the man for all of his help. “Here, take this — please.” You persisted and quickly explained. “This mirror was worth so much more in its prime. I feel bad taking it off your hands for only forty dollars and you did all the heavy lifting anyways.” You smiled, hoping it would seal the deal and to your relief, the man didn’t refuse your offer and accepted the extra cash. 

“Thank you, Y/N… Thank you.” He replied gratefully, holding your eye contact for a moment as he nodded with appreciation. You returned the nod and began walking around the car to the driver's door. He opened it for you and waited till you were sitting inside comfortably before shutting it. After you had turned the key in the ignition, you opened the window and looked up at the man with another smile as he said goodbye. “It was nice meeting you. Come back anytime you see me having another yard sale, ya hear?” 

“I sure will. Thanks, Josh.” You beamed. When he stepped back and gave you ample room to drive away without the worry of squashing his feet with the tires, you looked in the rear-view mirror and watched his figure gradually get smaller while driving down the street. You think about how his face and personality will always stick in your memory. He has bright ginger hair, pale freckled skin, a large birthmark over his right eye and he was so kind, sweet and patient with you too.

You’ll never forget your interaction with Josh because it was nothing but a pleasure and you’ll certainly be coming back again when he next hosts a yard sale. Maybe next time, you could even invite Joel Miller to tag along with you. He sure likes a yard sale just as much as you do. In fact, it was only a few weeks ago that Joel dragged you to the flea market near town to buy some decorative items for his house as he was in desperate need of your ‘expert opinion’. But to be quite honest, you don’t think the man really needed your opinion at all. He had that covered all by himself. You just think he just wanted your company for the day, and you didn’t mind at all because he’s become someone that you enjoy spending time with. And of course, he is really handsome too. 

Joel is your neighbour. He lives next door to you and often spends most of his free time sprucing up his home interior after only just moving into the neighbourhood two months ago. He has a brother named Tommy, a chunky brown Labrador named Rex and a fluffy white Persian cat named Felix. The man's house is warm, welcoming and chaotic, especially with the exciting activities that Rex and Felix get up to. You often watch them from your back porch playing in the yard. They’re so cute together, but you miss them dearly as they’ve been staying at Tommy’s house for the last week. 

While Joel has been busying himself with the home décor ever since he moved in, he’s recently taken it upon himself to put his skills to use and just fully renovate instead. His daily work and passion is carpentry after all, which means his house is currently looking a little worse for wear with the scaffolding poles set up, the bags of cement along his front porch and the large yellow industrial dumpster placed on his front lawn. The place is simply too messy and dangerous for Rex and Felix to be around. They can’t even play in the backyard anymore as it’s covered with even more waste that needs to be discarded. 

For the longest time, you have thought about getting a dog for yourself and yearned to have that connection that Joel has with Felix and Rex. You love to watch him interact with the little guys. They’re more like his babies rather than pets and sometimes he just sits out back and plays the guitar for them while you eavesdrop from next door. Sometimes he even sings for them, albeit it’s very quiet and only a few words here or there, but the notion of singing to his little fur babies is most adorable. 

Clearing your mind as you pull into your street, you look upon the eyesore that is Joel’s home and laugh sweetly when seeing the man scratching the back of his head as he stood on his front lawn. He looked a little frustrated and confused while overlooking some building plans with his buddies, as if he were trying to figure out what the next best step was. But that focus and concern etched on his face was distracting to say the least as you try to drive without staring at him too much. It’s dangerous to gaze upon him like this while behind the wheel. 

You snap out of your ogling and focus on the road, keeping Joel and his buddies in your line of sight as you drive carefully. The house may look like an eyesore right now, but you know that once it’s all said and done, it’s going to look perfect. Joel and his brother do most of the work themselves, but some of their work friends pitch in to help whenever and wherever they can. It’s really rather generous and thoughtful of them. You adore that he has friends like that, and secretly hope their generosity extends to his neighbour with the big heavy mirror in the backseat of her car. 

Parking your car up in the driveway and hopping out, you walk around the back and open the trunk. “Hey.” You waved to Joel as he looked in your direction. He said something to his friends before making his way over, no doubt telling them he’d just be stepping away for a moment. They all smirked and whispered amongst themselves, watching the man like a hawk as if he were approaching his crush, and the mere thought of you being his crush made your cheeks burn. 

“Hey, doll.” Joel greeted you in that thick southern drawl as he approached. “You need some help with the groceries—wait… What’s all this?” He cuts himself off to ask, his tone sounding slightly offended. “Did yer go back to the flea market without me, girl?” 

“No, Joel. I would never.” You barked out a laugh and shook your head at the man. “There was a yard sale in the Sunlight Grove neighbourhood. I stopped the car and bought a few things. Look –” you pointed a finger. “–I even bagged this really cool antique mirror.” 

“Oh yeah, that is cool.” He agreed, then furrowed his brows a little upon noticing the thick soot and black paint on the mirror. “You can fix that, right?” 

“I hope so.”

Reaching for the cardboard box filled with your candles, books and fairy lights, Joel reaches for your summer dress and pulls the straps around his neck, laying the clothing over his chest before turning to his friends with a loud whistle. “Hey pretty boys… Come help me with this thing will yer.” He asked, oh so politely. You and his friends laugh at him plenty, your smile growing bigger and wider over his sense of humour before he turned back to face you and winked. “This dress works a charm. I can see why you bought it, darlin’.”  

“That's actually not why I bought it, but thanks Joel.” You giggled and shook your head at him again. Turning away and heading towards your porch steps, you quickly mount the stairs and open the front door then place the cardboard box of goodies to one side momentarily as you help the guys out however you can. Joel didn’t even lift a finger. He just left his buddies to do all the heavy lifting while leading them into your house. He was even swaying your dress around flirtatiously which earned himself a couple catcalls and wolf whistles. 

“Getting real comfortable wearing that, aren’t you?” You pointed out and teased, to which he returned the playfulness confidently, “Oh yeah. M-hm. Why? You think it looks pretty on me?” 

“Oh yes. It’s very pretty, Joel.” You nod seriously without any trace of a lie in your tone. It actually did look good on him. The pattern and colours paired so well with that dark brown head of hair of his and that deep summer tan on his skin. You often spend every morning reminding him to put sun cream on before heading out to work, sometimes even texting him on your breaks and reminding him to add another layer. He needs that protection, but boy does he look good with a nice golden tan.

“Hey um...” You snap out of your mindless gazing once again. “Do you have any WD-40 in your garage? It will help with removing the paint and soot off the mirror.” 

“Yeah, sure. I got a couple cans you can take.” 

After the mirror was gently placed in your lounge, you grabbed an old sheet and placed it underneath before heading outside with Joel and the guys. You walked towards his garage and thanked him for letting you take a can of WD-40 as well as borrowing a scraper and some industrial cleaning wipes too. “I wanna get started on the mirror right away, but I’ll come back later and bring a couple beers for you and your friends.” 

“Will yer be wearing that pretty dress when you come back to see me with those beers?” He grinned and gathered a sarcastic round of applause from his friends as they all mocked him jokingly. “That’s some next level flirting right there, Joel.” One of his friends said, his words making you stifle a laugh, yet hearing him confirm that Joel was in fact flirting with you made you smile a flattered kind of smile. 

As they continued to laugh and jeer at him, you rolled your eyes at their remarks and replied loud enough for them to hear. “Yeah, sure. I’ll wear the dress just for you, Joel.” You throw him a little wink before turning to walk away, the sight of his smile making your stomach flutter and your heart skip a beat. He looked so shy in that moment when his friends honed in on him, as if they were revealing some big secret about how he feels about you. It’s no secret that something is slowly forming between you and the man, but it’s still too soon to assume that it’s more than just friends. 

You like Joel’s company. He likes yours. And that’s all there is to it for now. 

Upon entering your house and releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you made your way into the lounge and got to work right away with restoring the mirror. You have a few tips and tricks up your sleeve when it comes to restoration, and WD-40 is just another trick you’ve learned to use along the way. It works wonders for a lot of things around the house too. You used up the last of your own supply the other week when cleaning your bathroom mirror and shower doors, lifting the stained fog straight off the glass. 

With a little music playing from your stereo, you took your time removing all the dirt and grime from the mirror bit by bit with gentle scrapes and wipes. It was actually really rather relaxing and enjoyable. You lost track of time as the hours rolled by quickly, and before you knew it, the cicadas and crickets had alarmed you that it was night time outside. You didn’t even notice the sun going down. You were so invested and focused on the mirror instead. It looked a hell of a lot better though. You’ve made a big dent in the progress and can actually see yourself in the reflection now. All that’s left to do is remove the soot and paint from the crevices in the wood. 

Reminding yourself of those beers you promised Joel and his friends, you exited the lounge and made your way into the kitchen, then retrieved a four pack of cold Budweiser's from the fridge before heading toward the front door. That summer dress was left hanging on the coat hooks along the wall, and the half-hearted you made to Joel crossed your mind as you contemplated whether or not you should actually wear it for him. 

After a moment thinking about it, you set the beers down on the cabinet and reached for the dress, deciding to fulfil all of your promises. Even if you weren’t being serious earlier, you concluded that there really wasn’t any harm in wearing the piece of clothing for him. Besides, you wanted to see how it looked and felt on your body anyways. 

You were just in the middle of taking off your sweater when there was a knock at the door, the sound so sudden and startling that it made you gasp and jump on the spot. “Who is it?” You called out. 

“It’s just me, doll." Joel answered reassuringly from the other side. You quickly pull your sweater back over your head and hold the dress behind the door as you open it, greeting him with a surprised look on your face. “Hey. I was just about to come outside with those beers when you knocked. It gave me a fight.” You laughed bashfully, noticing the way his eyes dropped to look at your clothes. 

“Sorry ‘bout that, darlin’. I came to tell you that me and the guys are going out for dinner. You wanna come with us? They keep badgering me to check out that new diner in town so I thought we could go out instead.” He explained, but his words went right over your head. You didn’t even hear him at first. You were too caught up on the fact he looked at your clothes, checking to see if you’re wearing that dress for him, and the way he looked a little disappointed that you weren’t was saddening. If he had just knocked on your door a few minutes later, then he would have seen that you were wearing it for him. 

“Um.. It’s okay, Joel. Don’t worry about it,” you stammered. “I’ll keep the beers for some other time instead. Have fun with the guys…” you pause midway through your sentence with the sudden realization that he actually offered you to go out with him and his friends. You didn’t hear him, and it’s too late now to fix your mistake. He already began nodding with acceptance of your answer, and there was yet another disappointed look in his eyes. “... Y'all stay safe out there too,” you quickly add, finishing your sentence. 

“We will.” He nods, then holds your eye contact for a few moments while shuffling on his feet awkwardly. You could see that he was hesitant on deciding whether or not he should lean in and kiss your cheek goodbye, so you took a step forward and prompted him to. He finished closing the gap, and you watched as he closed his eyes when leaning in to plant a chaste kiss on your cheek. His lips were soft and plump, pressed against your skin so gently before he stopped back. It was bliss, and you yearned to feel it again.  

“I’ll see yer sometime tomorrow, darlin’." He said with a deep smile that displayed his relief and joy. You know that he saw you holding the dress when he leaned in to kiss you. And you can see with your own eyes that it made him feel less rejected and more optimistic that something was still there between you and him. 

“See you tomorrow." You muttered and threw a goodbye wave to his friends waiting for him in the car. They all waved back and quietly said their goodbyes too before one of them opened the back door for Joel to hop in.

You probably should have closed your front door and got back to what you were doing at that point, but you didn’t. You instead waited for him to look at you through the backseat window, and you’re glad that you waited too because when Joel’s eyes met yours, he blew you a kiss and still wore that same joyous smile.

It was as if he could hardly wait to see you tomorrow.

Later that night while laying in bed, the entire house shrouded in darkness and complete silence, you open your eyes the moment after you hear a noise echoing through the walls. It sounded like metal clanging against metal, and it was so faint and barely noticeable at first that you wondered if one of your neighbours were watching something on their TV so loud that you could hear it from here. 

You didn’t roll over and close your eyes right away and instead chose to focus on those noises to pinpoint their location. You know Joel is home and laying in bed right now because you were awake at the time when he came back from dinner with his friends. They were so quiet and respectful of how late at night it was, not wanting to disturb your sleeping neighbours. 

As that metal clanging noise subsides and is replaced with several men hooting and yelling as they ride horseback, you assumed that someone couldn’t hear the old western movie they were watching and finally rolled over to ignore it. Although you could hear the movie and all of the sound effects, you didn’t mind all that much as you’re used to something playing during the night anyway. Sometimes you even play some music on your phone and turn the volume down low just to have that background noise while you sleep. 

Now that you're facing the direction of your window however, you narrow your eyes with focus and just make out the waving beam of light coming through the blinds. It was Joel signalling you. He occasionally does that whenever he sends you a text and you don’t reply, but since your phone was under your pillow, you slip your hand underneath to retrieve it and read his text. 

‘Darlin’, you’ve left your TV playing downstairs. I can see your living room lit up with light,’ he wrote and you quickly text him back, replying: ‘Joel, I shut everything off before I came to bed. Are you sure it’s my TV?’ 

You look at your window again and focus on the gaps between your blinds, noticing that he had climbed out of his bed now to look through his window and check. ‘Yeah, sweetheart,’ you received a text from him, then another one shortly after. ‘It’s definitely your TV. I can hear that it’s a western movie too. I didn’t know you like that sort of stuff :).’ 

Overlooking how happy that little smiling emoticon made you feel, you couldn’t shift the anxiety in your stomach and decided to just go downstairs and check. Maybe you forgot to turn your TV off after all and you’re worrying over nothing. You quickly shoot another text to Joel before climbing out of bed, ‘Yeah. I like that sort of stuff :). I’m gonna head down and shut it off though. It’s really late and I don't want any complaints from the neighbours, lol.’ 

Exiting your room with that worry still gnawing away at your gut, you grabbed your metal baseball bat just for precaution and started making your way downstairs. You definitely remember turning everything off and you’re finding difficulty in rationalizing how your TV is even on right now, but as it turs out, Joel was right all along. There was a western movie playing in your living room. You could hear the movie as you walked down the stairs and see the bright flashes of light flicking across your walls. 

With another text from Joel chiming through, you look down at your phone and read what the man wrote. ‘What does 'lol' mean?' He asked, and it made you giggle before he quickly sent another text. 'Maybe we could watch a movie together sometime? I’ll bring the snacks and even cook dinner for you.’ His offer made you smile as you think about what it would look like to cosy up on the sofa together.

You entertained the thought for all of two seconds before lifting your head to look at your TV in the living, and seeing that it was shut off instantly brought that panicked feeling back to your stomach by tenfold. 

You stood still, frozen in place with fear as you realized where the source of those sounds and bright flashes of light were coming from — behind you in the mirror. It was displaying a series of images and producing sound, and it’s physically impossible that it could even do that, yet you could see those images in the reflection of the black TV screen and hear the sounds over your shoulder. There was a group of men riding horseback yelling as they shot at the sky. It looked so surreal. You couldn’t believe what your eyes were witnessing and your hands began to tremble so violently that you dropped the baseball bat to the floor below. 

A flood of text messages came through your phone from Joel, no doubt asking what that clattering noise was or asking if everything is okay. You don’t know for sure. You couldn’t even look away from the TV screen to look at your phone right now. You were too afraid to take your eyes off what you were seeing in the reflection. There was a man lying against a rock around the edge of a campsite, a dark cowboy hat on his head pulled down as he slept peacefully before the next image took over and was replaced by a large oak tree on a hill. 

You eventually gathered enough courage to turn around and take a proper look at the mirror. It’s as if you were looking into a TV, the sight unbelievable as it was only hours ago that you saw your own reflection, not what you’re seeing now. There’s no possible explanation as to how it's possible, and despite how afraid you are, there is also a sense of curiosity to know more as well. You continue to watch and drink in the displayed images, watching them cycle through like a slideshow. 

The first image was of workers hammering giant nails into an unfinished train track, hence the noise you heard earlier of metal clanging against metal. And the next image was a wide shot of a small town and the land surrounding it, a place that looked to be over one hundred years old. You’re almost certain you saw a big wooden sign over a building that said ‘Saloon’. 

But before you could see the next image, your attention was torn towards your front door with Joel pounding his fist against it urgently. “Y/N, open up,” his voice demanded through the wood, “Is everything okay in there, doll? I heard a commotion and I’m worried. C’mon, I need yer to answer me.” 

You could hear that concern in his tone and watched as he twisted the handle with force, damn near ready to break the thing before his knuckles began rapping at the door again much louder now. “I’m coming.” You called out shakily.

Walking towards the door and unlocking it, you stepped back as he pushed his way inside and reached out to hold your arm. “What’s wrong, girl? Did someone break in?” He questioned instantly and pulled you close, almost moving you behind him actually, as if he were shielding you from whatever spooked you inside the house. You looked like you had just seen a ghost, and your state of shock worried the man, so it’s no surprise he’s acting so protective right now.

“No — no one broke in." You managed to utter, then pointed a finger in the living room as you fully stepped behind him now and held onto his bicep. “It’s that mirror. Something’s wrong with it.” He looks at you with furrowed brows, as if he couldn’t believe you were so alarmed over a mirror, but his expression softens when he realizes that you’re being genuinely serious. You looked like a deer in the headlights.  

Joel decides to take a look by peeping his head inside your living room and sees for himself that the source of light and noise isn’t coming from your TV like he expected. He turned back to look at you with a mildly confused expression and reached past you to shut your front door. “I ain’t ever seen a mirror play a movie like that before.” He said with bewilderment, then stepped into the living room with you to investigate. As he takes a closer look though, he now fully understands why you were so alarmed in the first place and asked: “How the fuck is it doing that?”

“How the hell should I know?” You retort, your voice laced with as much concern as his. Moving towards the mirror together cautiously, you stick to the man’s back like glue and remain close as he scans the object with his eyes and searches for answers. 

“I can’t see anything that can explain it,” he mutters cluelessly, “There’s not even a little projector at the top, speakers or a power button to explain how this is possible.” You nod in agreement with him and feel a whole hell of a lot safer that he’s seeing what you are seeing. It was reassuring and validating your reactions that he, too, found it so bizarre and inexplicable. You couldn’t find a rational explanation, and neither could he. 

However, curiosity got the better of Joel as he reached out to touch the mirror. It didn’t feel right and you had a horrible feeling in your gut, but before you could even think about stopping him or voicing your concerns, he was sucked inside with so much force that he yanked you in there with him.

You screamed and yelled while falling into a seemingly endless void of darkness. It was no longer than two seconds really, but it felt like an eternity before finally breaching the other side and landing on tall blade of grass with a soft thump. You were beneath a tree... a large oak tree.

And it was the very same oak tree you had seen earlier. 

Next Chapter

Tagging

Perma Taglist (Everything): @marydjarin @kirsteng42 @supernaturalgirl @supernaturalgirl20 @harriedandharassed @joelmillerscoffee @joelsrifle @swtaura @alexxavicry @boliv-jenta @dragonsondragons @practicalghost @janebby @faceache111 @sleepylunarwolf @tusk89 @anismaria @graciexmarvel @munsonownsmyass 

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#joel miller #joelmiller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fiction #arthur morgan fiction #arthur morgan fic #arthur morgan fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #arthur morgan x y/n #arthur morgan x f!reader #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x you #arthur morgan x reader #joel miller x reader x arthur morgan fic #joel miller x f!reader x arthur morgan #joel miller x y/n x arthur morgan #joel miller x you x arthur morgan #joel miller x female reader x arthur morgan #joel miller smut #arthur morgan smut #pearlyfics #enjoyreaders

[mistressoftheelderitchwhorehouse]

I'm sorry for bothering you with my requests. But I just love your writing so much and I can't believe there's finally someone writing for black readers in the BSD's fandom.

Can I request a scenario of BSD characters dancing with their S/O to some old soul or R&B? Also what songs you think are their favorite. (This is optional but I wondered if you had any thoughts about this) I don't have any specific characters in mind for this one either.

A/N: My favorite bubble friend! I'm happy to serve! There wasn't a lot of black reader content when I was on Tumblr years ago, so I'm just making a space for us. Ya know?

I picked songs I genuinely think they'd like. So here ya go!

Mafia Era Dazai

Dazai didn't understand English. It wasn't because he wasn't smart enough to learn. (He could pick it up easily if he so wanted.) No, Dazai more didn't care to know. It was just another thing added to his already overflowing plate.

However, he liked listening to your music. When he would climb through your kitchen window, he would often hear some kind of catchy song that would have coaxed you into dancing.

Tonight was another one of those nights. You hummed to yourself and danced while putting your hair in its rabbit printed bonnet. There was a pizza half eaten on the small table, and you had some discarded beer cans. Looks like you had a hard day. Funny, so did he.

When you twisted around again you screamed and jumped back from your sink."Osamu Dazai!"

He grinned, his gaze still glazed over as always. "Hello my sweetest Belladonna. Having fun?"

"You nearly killed me!"

"Hardly." He hopped over the sink and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I could fix that for you. I learned a new torture method from Kouyou today."

"Absalutely not."

He tilted his head as the radio switched tracks. "Listening to my favorite?"

"Hm?"

He went over to the radio sitting on a shelf over your dishes. He pressed a few buttons, and the radio clicked and started the song over. Alicia Keys's voice drifted out the speaker. It was a song professing her love for New York. It was catchy, he knew what New York was, and he had to admit the woman's voice was nice.

Enough qualifiers for him to be a "good" song.

When he turned back around you were smiling in that way that made him want to bully you. "Didn't think you'd like Empire State of Mind."

He just shrugged. "I'm pretty simple. I like whatever's on and catchy."

"You would."

You took a step closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around you to bring you to his chest. He allowed you to sway you both in time to the music. Your forehead was pressed against his chest, and your fingers curled into the starched cloth of his buttondown.

He smoothed his hands down to your hips, caressing the exposed flesh that peaked over your shorts. It was intimate and soft, and not something that he normally did for you. However, he he could indulge you just this once. Afterall, you were his precious Belladonna.

Chuuya

Candles? Check!

Dinner? On the table and ready to serve.

Wine? Well, Chuuya was still deciding.

After going through enough hoops to make a circus annoyed, he had managed to get his first day off in damn near a year. Which, coincidentally, was nearly how long you and Chuuya had been dating.

You knew he was a busy man, but he didn't want that to be an excuse. You deserved the best, and he was a man that was happy to show you that.

The light click of the door tugged his attention from his wine rack. On instinct his hand drifted up to his knife, listening for his que.

"I'm home."

He dropped his hand and smirked as he stepped into the entryway to meet you. "Welcome home."

You looked up sharply from your place on the floor, and smiled up at him. "Hey, Hun! Didn't expect you home."

"Work cleared out a little early." He held out a hand, and you allowed him to help you up. "Figured I could see my favorite girl."

You followed him into the kitchen, and the little gasp you made was everything for him. He tapped an app on his phone, and the lights dimmed, allowing the candles to glow.

My Girl began playing from a speaker, and despite all his planning, you threw him for a loop when you took his hand and set it on your waist.

Taking the hint he began leading you in a dance to one of his favorite songs. He pressed his face in your curls, singing along with the radio and you. It was the perfect introduction to their romantic night.

#bungou stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #dazai x y/n #bungo stray dogs x reader #mafia dazai #port Mafia dazai x reader #black reader

[winchestersworld4]

Crazy Girls on Planes

Reader gets a shock when a stranger on a plane shows her a little kindness on a bad day. 

Word Count: 6400

Would love for any other writers to jump on and help me navigate tumblr, I’ve only used fanfiction in the past, let me know if I’m totally screwing this up over here!

.................................................................

“I don’t understand… I-I have my ticket?” You repeated yet again to the flight attendant as you stood in the isle of the plane while everyone loaded.

“Yes ma’am, I’m aware. Apparently, there was a glitch in the system and the same seat was booked twice. Once for you, and once for the gentlemen who’s currently seated with his friends.”

You looked up to the group of frat boys, sighing as you realized winning this battle would be just as worse of a punishment as losing it would be, anywhere else on the plane would be better than being the girl who forced their friend away.

“Is there anywhere else I can sit?” You asked with a polite smile. The last thing you wanted to do was get off of this damn plane when you worked so hard to force yourself to get on it. You knew if you got back off, there was a chance you’d call him.

You’d cave.

You’d go back.

You couldn’t let that happen, because fuck him. He doesn’t get to choose for you anymore.

“We’re gonna finish boarding everyone back here, but I think we may be able to place you in first class. We had a cancellation at the last minute.”

“Okay, thank you.” You breathed. You waited about 10 more minutes standing awkwardly at the attendant’s area until she came back for you.

“This way please.” She smiled wide. “We found a great spot for you, it is however the window. If you don’t mind?”

“No that’s fine. Anything is fine.”

“Okay, follow me then!”

You followed her to the front of the plane, sitting in the 3rd row of seats to the window against the left side of the plane. You smiled when you realized the seat next to you was empty. First class was much nicer, only two seats but the same space as the 3 seat isles, so you could breathe your own air. You preferred the isle because you get claustrophobic, you’re already terrified of planes, and you were still on edge from the dramatic break up that took place only hours ago.

You were a mess.

Anxious. Sad. Angry.

Messy bun and scrub pants, and your favorite old hoodie on in between.

Your make up was left over, and thank you Jesus for lash extensions because without them you’d look like a chronically ill person. They were the only thing giving your face some dimension right now as they contrasted with your eye color.

You sat back and closed your eyes. Angry that you had forgotten your ear buds and had taken the last of your anxiety medication on the plane ride up here.

You tried to make your mind wander as you listened to the flight attendants move about and make final preparations, but just as you were sure it was time to close up and start the safety speech someone came jogging up the aisle.

A tall man in a black cap, black jacket, and blue jeans rushed to the seat beside you. You instantly turned to face the window, not wanting to make conversation. It was obvious as he slightly huffed to catch his breath that he had almost missed the flight and was probably running through the airport from God knows where.

He settled in quietly and you could barely see him glance at you from your peripheral vision as he placed his ear buds in and the flight attendants began their speech now that all the doors were closed.

The plane began to make its way down the runway and the engine got louder and louder.

THIS was why you HAD to have your earbuds, or ear plugs, or anything to help reduce the noise. For some reason every groan of the engines and clicking noise convinced you that the engine was going to fail and you’d fall out of the sky to your death.

It was loud and overwhelming and you tried to force yourself to take deep breaths as the plane increased in speed. The wheel bumped against something on the ground and shook the cabin, you instantly reached over and grabbed the arm rests, except one of them was occupied and you grabbed a hand by mistake.

“Whoa, you okay sweetheart?” The man asked taking his ear bud out as you pulled your hand back after shortly making contact with him.

“Sorry.” You barely breathed out as you forced yourself to push air in and out of your lungs. Biting down on your lip as the wheels lifted and the plane lifted into the air.

“It’s okay, almost over.” He said as he reached down and grabbed your hand, letting you squeeze his far too hard as he rubbed his thumb in circles.

Finally, the plane became slightly calmer and more level, and you were finding yourself able to take in one solid deep breath as you opened your eyes.

“You good now?” He asked gently.

“Yes. I’m so, so sorry!” You sighed as you turned to look at him, pulling your hand away slowly as he released you. You thought you were as embarrassed as you possibly could be forcing a stranger to hold your hand because you’re a chicken shit, but no.

Oh no.

It gets so much better.

“Oh… my.” You stuttered as you finally looked up to his face. “Yo-you’re Jensen Ackles.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “That’s what my passport says.”

You looked at him, still slightly stunned as he looked back. Then you slightly leaned forward and pressed your fingers against your head as you began to laugh quietly, a sudden case of the giggles finding its way to you at the absolute worse time- now he definitely thinks you’re crazy.

“Uhhh… I don’t know if I should be insulted or not.” He mused.

“Oh. I-I am. I’m so sorry. It just…” You threw your hands up slightly. “God obviously has a sense of humor.”

Jensen stared at you with a funny look on his face before he lifted his hand to get the attention of the attendant not far from him, you watched in horror. Convinced he was going to ask for a new seat and you had hit an entirely new low in your life.

“Excuse me, can we get two jack and cokes? On my tab please.” He smiled, she nodded and he thanked her.

“What are you doing?” You asked curiously.

“Well. I’m buying you a drink, and then you’re going to tell me about God’s sense of humor.”

“That’s basically my life in one catchphrase.” You smirked.

“Well sweetheart we got about 4 hours left.” He challenged. “You obviously know my name, what’s yours?”

“(Y/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Well (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you formally. I’m Jensen.”

“Oh, I’ve met you before.” You teased, unsure of where this confident humor was coming from since you’d been sulking or crying for the last 12 hours.

“Oh, so we’re old friends?” Jensen smiled as your drinks arrived. He pulled down his tray and set them both there in front of him. He nodded to yours as he picked his up for a swig.

“Oh no, not at all.” You said taking a small sip. “You were meeting hundreds of people that day, I probably blended into the background of your memory.”

“I find that hard to believe.” He challenged and you blushed.

“To be fair, I wasn’t acting like a lunatic that day so I may not have made the impression I’ve made today.”

“I don’t think you’re a lunatic, (Y/N). I think you’re upset. I think you need a drink and a chance to get whatever is in your head out in the open.”

You looked down and twisted your hands back and forth in your lap. Debating on just ripping the wound wide open and definitely letting him think you were a lunatic or airing on the side of caution.

“It was a con, I bet.” He mumbled while he waited for you to weigh out his offer.

“It was.” You chuckled. “I got a photo-op and an autograph, nothing spectacular on my part, but man you were the highlight of my day.”

You shook your head back and forth and leaned back against your seat as you took another sip.

“Well, so far you’ve been the highlight of mine. Today sucked.”

“I’m sorry.” You said honestly as you gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m glad I could make it interesting.”

“I’m glad I could show you God’s sense of humor, how was that again?”

You sighed and smiled up to him.

“I am… a fucking mess right now.” You said plainly. Taking another drink before you started, letting the alcohol drop your guard a little. “I jumped on this plane to run away from my problems. I’m terrified of flying. I’m out of my meds that I usually taken when I have to fly. I left half of my shit in the hurry to pack, so I have no ear buds which is why we’re having this conversation now. I am wearing scrub pants because to be honest that’s all I ever wear, even when I’m not working- sue me. They’re easy to clean. I haven’t brushed my hair in a day, and I’m sure I’m only wearing make up on one half of either of my eyes. So yes… to sit beside Jensen Ackles on a plane, today of ALL days. Is God’s sense of humor.”

You threw back the last of your drink before setting the glass bottoms up on his tray table.

“Although, between you and the frat boys who would have hated me in coach, this is definitely the better option.”

“Yeah, how did you end up here anyways? I always book both seats and cancel one at the very last minute so I don’t have to sit with anyone. I was sure I had the wrong seat at first, but I double checked and here I was. Well technically, I was by the window. But I’m not picky.” He smiled.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” You said feeling bad now that you’ve invaded his space.

“No- no don’t. I’m glad you’re here. These 4 hours are going to fly by.”

“Haha, cheesy plane jokes.” You rolled your eyes as you tried to hide the stupid grin plastered on your face. “They double booked my seat, and the guy who’s in it is one of about six frat guys all sitting together. The flight attendant took pity on me and offered me the last minute cancellation.”

“Lucky you.” Jensen winked.

“Yes. Any other day, lucky me.”

Jensen called for 2 more drinks as he drank the last of his as well.

“So what are you running from?”

“Uhhhh… I just left my fiancé about oh… 7 hours ago. On the day of his sister’s wedding.”

“Wow.” Jensen nodded.

“Yeah. Uh. Kinda hard to stick it out when you find him fucking the maid of honor in the bathroom, but… It was a long time coming anyways. I think I tried to ignore all the flags, and God’s sense of humor gave me one I couldn’t ignore.”

“So you think he had been unfaithful before too?”

“Probably, but it wasn’t just that. It was the controlling everything in my life that started to suffocate me. I mean. When we first started dating it was so nice to have someone order for me and surprise me at dinner or push me to try something new. It was nice to have someone else drive everywhere. It was romantic to let him make plans for us.”

“But…” Jensen pushed, glad he was finally getting you to open up a little.

“When we got engaged, it was like a whole new level. As soon as I said yes he started pushing. First it was how we were going to tell everyone and who I was going to call first. I wanted to call my mom, but instead we made a surprise appearance at his parent’s dinner party so they could be the first ones to know. They put it on Facebook before I ever even got to call my mom.”

“Ouch. That one was a tough one I’m sure.”

“Not really. My mom was very understanding, which made me feel worse.” You shrugged as your second round of drinks arrived and you reached for yours with a small ‘thanks’.

“How long were you together?”

“Together almost 4 years, engaged about a year and half of that. We were trying to plan the wedding, but he shot down everything I’ve asked or picked out so it wasn’t getting us very far, although I guess I should be thankful for that now.”

“Yeah, but. It’s okay if you’re not.”

You looked up to him, kind of surprised that he wasn’t chanting some new single life mantra. Jensen had always come off as happy go lucky, and upbeat. You were betting on him to be the kind that cheered you on with a ‘fuck him’ and a ‘you deserve so much more’ blah blah blahh…

“It’s okay if you miss him.” Jensen said softly. “It’s okay if you second guess this. If you get scared and wonder if you made the right choice by leaving and not trying to work it out.”

You continued to stare at him, slightly dumfounded.

“It’s okay to feel like you’re going to mourn that part of your life. I mean… you’re what. 25? 4 years is a long time in your 20s. It’s a lot of changes and growth in that period of time, and it’s okay if you are sad about losing someone who was there for so much of it.”

“Why do you make it sound so normal?” You whispered.

“Because it is normal, (Y/N).” He assured you. “It’s normal to miss someone even if they were shitty. It’s normal to grieve the things you lost, even if they were things that hadn’t happened yet. You can still be happy to get away from such a terrible person, but miss everything you had.”

You looked away from him and out the window, trying to force the tears at the brim of your eyes to go back in. You did NOT want to cry in front of this man.

“Also- fuck him. You will be so better off without him.” Jensen then said with a cheery smile which made you turn back to him and giggle slightly.

“Yeah. I think you’re right about that.”

“So was the rock big?” He asked as he bounced his eyebrows.

“Yes. It’s huge actually.” You said as you fished it out of your pocket and held it up to him. He let out a low whistle.

“Well I just so happen to know that by law he cannot ask for this back, it was a gift. Any lawyer will side with you, and you should cash that baby in for a vacation you actually want to go on.”

“That, actually sounds amazing.” You smiled as you took another small sip.

“Where would you go?”

“Probably somewhere in the mountains. Don’t get me wrong, the beach is fun. The ocean and the sand, I love it. But it’s the only place we’ve vacationed in years, he had no interest in the mountains. I wanna wake up, look outside and see snowcaps and ridges for miles. Cold air and warm blankets. Fire place at night, stars brighter than I ever get to see back home.”

“Well then it sounds like you’ve got a vacation to book. I actually have a trip booked to Colorado in the next few months… maybe, uh. We can bump into each other and I’ll buy you another drink.”

“Oh that is sweet of you, but you are totally not obligated to take pity on the sloppy woman who stole your seat on the plane.” You assured him, looking down at your feet as you spoke.

“Did this asshole also tell you that you had to be put together to be beautiful? Because if he did he’s an even bigger shit bag. If I was taking pity on you, I’d offer you the extra pair of ear buds out of my bag and  order another drink for myself.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, Ackles. Why would you wanna do something like that? I could be crazy… I mean. More crazy then I’ve already displayed myself to be.”

“Because.” He chuckled. “You’re real. You’re not trying to impress me or show off. You’re not terrified to hold conversation, and I’m pretty sure God shared his sense of humor with you- that is sexy as hell. On your worst day you’ve turned mine around. So, I’d love to see what you got for me on a good day.”

You sat back and blushed, chewing on your lip slightly, trying to figure out if you had passed out in the airport and are currently having some vivid dream. Before you could reply, Jensen reached over and pinched you.

“Ow, what was that for?!”

“You’re not dreaming, (Y/N). This is not in your head. This is God’s sense of humor playing out to your favor… at least I hope you see it that way.”

“Well I didn’t spend 300 bucks for a photo op not to be a little shell shocked when Jensen Ackles asks me for a drink in the mountains…” You countered with a coy grin.

“Good. Consider it a date. We’re going the last weekend of September.”

“Should I just search the whole state for you?”

“No.” He laughed. “We’re gonna be in Breckenridge.”

“Okay… Breckenridge. Last weekend of September.” You nodded. He smiled back. “So why did you have a bad day today?”

“No way. I’m not complaining about my day after hearing about yours.” He shook his head.

“C’mon… you let me vent. Bought me liquor. Let me steal your seat- which had I known, I would have definitely taken the aisle because I’m claustrophobic as hell.”

“You think you’d be more comfortable if we swapped?”

“Actually… I’m not feeling so claustrophobic at the moment. Just. Warm and fuzzy.” You winked. He smiled back and bit down on his bottom lip. You swore you could have died in that exact moment and been happy on your way to the pearly gates. “Tell me about your day, Ackles.”

“Well.” He sighed. “I had to fly up for a funeral… old friend from school.”

“Jensen I’m so sorry.” You said reaching out and placing your hand on his instinctively. Many years in the hospital had taught you that death and dying sometimes just required a supportive touch, and you were quite accustomed to hugging and hand holding for family members as they grieved.

“It’s okay, he had been sick a long time. He’s not suffering, he’s at peace. He was loved, and that’s all any of us really want to have at the end of the day, right?”

“Yeah. It is. He must have been a great person to be important to you. You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who makes friends with assholes.”

“No, just crazy girls on a planes.” He teased. You let go of his hand to slightly shove him, but he quickly reached for it again. Your whole body felt a warm flush. “He was a great guy, we played ball together growing up. I feel bad, we lost touch for quite a while… just. Life got busy ya know?”

“That’s not your fault. That’s part of growing up.”

“I kept saying I was gonna fly in and visit with him, but… I waited to long. So today was the closest I got to being able to do that. I’m thankful for phones and stuff though, at least we got time to catch up from a distance.”

“I’m sure that meant a lot to him too, he probably knew your life was chaos right now with filming the show and everything. To know that you still thought of him, and made the time to talk to him. Even if it wasn’t in person. I’m sure that left an impact on him and his family.”

“Thanks, I hope so.” He sighed and then turned, obviously ready to change topics. “So, tell me something you’ve never said out loud.”

You pursed your lips as your eyes narrowed on him slightly, trying to decide if you should really let yourself get this vulnerable with Jensen Ackles of all people.

“I would probably let Sam Elliot tap this ass even when he’s 95 and can’t get it up.”

At that Jensen burst out in laughter, and you swore that you could never get tired of hearing that sound. He caught his breath, and turned to you.

“You are not the typical woman, are you?”

“Not so much.” You shrugged. “Or you’ve gotten me slightly drunk and I’ve made a fool of myself so far, not much worse I can do.”

“I’d cop a feel on Betty White purely to say I got to touch em.” Jensen countered. You gave him a look of mock surprise.

“Sir, how distasteful and absolutely attractive of you… I second that.” You said tapping your glass against his as you both took another small drink. “Okay. Honest answer. I know people say all the time that they would do everything the same, that things happen for a reason or whatever. But… there are things I would change. If I could go back, I’d never waste all the time I could have used for better things. I would have travelled more. I would have worked harder in school to avoid loans.”

“Call me crazy, but I’m glad you can’t because then I would have had an extremely sad plane ride home.”

“You never know… you may have met someone else. Someone pretty and fun to distract you.”

“I did meet someone pretty and fun, even if she is a little sad herself.”

You locked your eyes on his and you both sat there for a few seconds longer than necessary. Like you were really seeing each other for the first time.

“What about you, Ackles. Tell me something no one knows about the man who plays the great Dean Winchester.”

“Okay…” He took in a deep breath. “Dean and I have a few things in common. One of those being that all that cocky flirting is more of a front for a guy who struggles to accept that he deserves good things, wonders if he’s doing enough with his life.”

You tipped your head to the side slightly. Shocked to hear such an honest and vulnerable confession from him. You expected it to be a dirty secret from his time in Hollywood or something.

“What?” He asked, suddenly a little nervous as he tapped his foot and readjusted himself.

“You.”

“Me?”

“You honestly don’t understand how much you mean to people do you?” You said with a soft smile. “At that Con, there were so many people who were meeting you for the first time. All I could hear all day long was how nice you were to them, how you treated them like a real person, how you made them feel like you WANTED to be there with them. For some of them it was the highlight of their entire year… You made a difference to them. Not Dean- you. And those are just the strangers you met, listening to Jared or Misha or anyone else talk about how you treat people on set. How you show the upmost respect for any woman in a compromising scene. The way you protect Jared, take care of him. He’s honest enough with the fans that we all know he struggles. We all know that you love him, and that you obviously take care of the people you love. YOU Jensen, deserve good because you give good.”

“You hardly know me.” He shrugged.

“I know enough.” You countered. “You have done nothing but treat me much better than I deserve today. You will be the only reason I’ve smiled in the last 24 hours.”

“Thank you. For all of that…” He paused. “Man, this ex of yours must be a real dumbass to push around someone like you. Can I be honest with you for a moment, and you not get offended?”

“Sure.”

“From what little interaction we’ve had, I am honestly shocked you put up with someone pushing you around for so long. Let someone else make your decisions for you. You just don’t seem like the kind of woman who let’s anyone tell her what she can or can’t do. How the hell did he get you? And how did he manage to keep you for so damn long?”

You looked down to your lap again, chewing on your lip.

“Hey, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have.” He said noting the way you shut down almost immediately.

“We’re being honest right?” You said looking up to him. “No judgements?”

“No judgement… just a guy and a girl on a plane having a conversation. Call it Vegas, what’s said here, stays here.”

“I’m terrified of being alone.” You admitted quietly, a tear threatening to make its way down your face. You coughed to push the strain out of your voice before you continued. “He was so invested in me. He came into my life at a time when I didn’t have a lot of people, and he made himself present in every aspect I needed someone to be. I needed someone to be there when I was going through school and having a hard time, or help with rent when school required more time and my job fired me. I needed someone to force me out of the house, to make me call and speak to my friends and family when I hid myself in this box because I was too far in my own head to get out. It sounds so pathetic, and I hate it.” Your voice cracked for a minute and Jensen reached out and laced his fingers in yours again. “But I have no idea how to be alone, I forced myself to get on this plane because I knew I’d talk myself out of leaving him purely because I’m scared. I’m scared to go home alone.”

You avoided looking up, terrified to see the look on his face. He probably got way more than he bargained for there and surely he’ll be rescheduling his vacation now so that he doesn’t have to deal with you after today. You can’t blame him. He probably thinks you’re going to attach yourself to him now, what a nightmare that would be… the awkward silence was suffocating all of a sudden.

“You are probably the bravest person I’ve met.” He said after a few seconds longer. You looked up to him like he was the crazy one. He reached up and wiped the stray tear that fell down your face. “Oh, I’m serious. I mean, the fact that you’re on this plane. Means that you just looked your fear in the face and told it to fuck off. It means you realized you deserved more, and you went for it. That takes guts, sweetheart. If no one else on the planet will ever know that, and tell you how proud they are- then I will. Because I’m damn proud of you.”

“Well at least someone is.” You sighed as you leaned against his shoulder, surprising even yourself at the move. You were even more surprised when he let go of you and reached down, pushing up the arm rest that separated the two of you, then he swung his arm over your shoulders and let his thumb trace against your arm.

It was the single most comforting thing you’d felt in months.

“You know, you’re not sad or pathetic. He probably did love you, at some point. How could he not?” You looked up to him and rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the smile that graced your face without your permission. “I’m serious, (Y/N). It’s not sad and I doubt you were getting played from the start. He probably fell in love with you, and who you were as a person. But I also think he recognized that fear in you, and eventually started to use it to his advantage… and that’s not love. He probably ended up cheating because even though he no longer loved you, he knew he could always control you and that part of him wasn’t going to let you leave.”

“Jensen Ackles… actor, director, singer, and now certified therapist for crazy women on planes.” You joked with a smirk. He replied with a classic Dean Winchester smile and you lost the ability to breathe for a moment.

“I just can’t stand the thought of you getting off of this plane feeling defeated, because you should feel so proud of yourself. You shouldn’t go home dwelling on how you wasted all those years. I think he loved you for some of those years, and he obviously helped you through some hard times. It wasn’t a waste, but it just wasn’t what you needed any longer. You need to know you can stand on your own two feet and the world won’t end, because I promise sweetheart it won’t.”

Just as you went to reply the plane began to move unnaturally and you placed a death grip on Jensen’s knee, your other hand reaching up for his as he held you a little tighter.

“We’re okay. It’s just turbulence.” He said softly as your breathing increased and you closed your eyes once again.

“Ladies and Gentlemen.” The captain came over the speaker “We’re hitting a bit of rough patch, we’re going to be out of it shortly as we descend a few hundred feet to get below the storm, please remain seated and fasten your seat belts.”

You and Jensen separated slightly as you both refastened your seatbelts and the attendant came by to gather your empty drinks.

“You okay?” He asked as you both settled again and he placed his hand on your knee this time. He flipped over his palm to face up and you took the hint and wrapped both of your hands around his.

“Yeah.” You sighed. “No more jokes about the world ending while we’re this high up off the ground.”

Jensen chuckled and nodded.

“That’s fair. You don’t fly much do you?”

“No… the flight to the wedding was actually my first one in years. I had one back in highschool, but it was a nightmare.”

“What happened?”

“Turbulence.” You said with eyebrows raised as you looked at him accusingly. He smiled. “It was horrible, it went on for over an hour, they dropped the oxygen masks at one point and everything. I was sure that was it. I never got back on one after that, but my ex insisted that we fly instead of driving because he didn’t want to ‘look tired’ in the wedding photos.”

“You’re facing all kinds of fears today, aren’t you?”

“You must feel much better about yourself after all this. Knowing that you have so much going for you. That you don’t let things like this scare you.”

“There are plenty of things that scare me.”

“Name one.”

“Not being able to be myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… there are so many people who have an image in their head of who I am. What I’m like… and I don’t want to disappoint them, be less than they see. Let them down. Fans. Friends, family. I’m scared I won’t measure up if people really knew me.”

“So you’re facing a fear today too then, huh?” You asked.

“Yeah. I guess I am… are you disappointed?”

“The exact opposite, actually. Even if you didn’t tell me I was pretty and ask me for a drink… you were kind. You treated me like a friend, you’re funny, and damn you look better in person than on TV and I didn’t think that was possible.”

He chuckled to himself and blushed.

“Sorry… alcohol kills my head to mouth filter.”

“I like it that way. Unfiltered. Real… that’s the way you should always be around the people you love. If they can’t love you for who you are without the filters then fuck ‘em.”

“Take your own advice there, Jens.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Easier to say it than to do it.”

“You’re doing pretty well so far.”

“You make it easy, ya know? I don’t feel like I have to fake it around you. I don’t have to be the person you thought I was before we got on this plane.”

“I’m a people person.” You shrugged. “Comes with the job.”

“What do you do? The scrubs… I’m guessing medical field?”

“I’m a nurse.” You smiled.

“In the words of Dean Winchester… Respectable.” He nodded, you laughed at the reference to the show.

“Haha, I always did love that they married you off to a nurse.”

“You work in a hospital?”

“Yep. Cardiac, I can mend a broken heart.” You joked.

“Good to know.” Jensen nodded. The plane shook again. “I’m guessing all this stress isn’t doing that heart of yours any good, huh?”

“Probably no worse than the amount of caffeine I’ve had in the last 24 hours.”

“I always heard nurses make the worst patients.”

“Facts, Ackles. That’s shamelessly true. It’s because we see everything that can go wrong, we don’t want to know what’s gonna kill us.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah well.” You shrugged. “Sometimes I think we get calloused to minor things, unless someone is gushing blood or stops breathing then it can wait. Including ourselves.”

“I’m storing that knowledge for the future when I have to drag you kicking and screaming to a doctor’s office.”

“Future knowledge, huh?” You asked with a smile you couldn’t hide.

“You never know. The next few months will be big for you, lots of change. I don’t wanna disrupt your healing process here, but uh. I’m definitely looking forward to Colorado now.”

“Yeah, I’ll be booking that as soon as I get home.” You grinned. “I wouldn’t mind having a friend to check in with every once in a while, if he’s not too busy.”

“I think he could make time for that.”

You reached down into your bag, pulling a piece of paper out and using the pen from the back of the seat in front of you to jot down your number, you slid it over to him and he bit down on his lip as he slid it into his pocket.

“One more hour, Ackles. What do you wanna know?” You said as you glanced at the watch on his wrist.

“I wanna know whether or not your ex is going to come home and screw with you, did you guys share an apartment or anything?”

“Rent house. In his name, nothing is in my name actually. Control freak remember?”

“You have somewhere to go?”

“I’ll probably crash with my sister until I get an apartment. Gonna have to find one that takes dogs, because I’m not going without Sketti.”

“Sketti?” Jensen asked skeptically.

“Yes. Sketti. My niece couldn’t say spaghetti and when he was just a baby she ran around yelling sketti and he just seemed to think she was talking to him, so that’s what I named him.”

“What is he?” He smiled.

“Golden Retriever. Big ole derp, but he’s my best friend.”

“Sounds like the start to a great support system. I’m glad you got that part figured out. You got your own car?”

“Yes. That was one thing I didn’t cave on, I wanted to buy something for myself after graduation. It’s not much but it’s mine.”

“That’s all that matters, sweetheart. Just want to make sure there’s nothing he can hold over you.”

“Other than some drunken escapades in Cabo, not really.” You muttered shyly.

“That’s going to have to be our story for next time.” Jensen said with a coy grin.

The two of you continued to talk for the next several minutes, until it came time to land and you closed your eyes and let Jensen distract you with a funny story about Jared from set. Once the wheels hit ground and you finally rolled to a stop, you found yourself almost sad the plane had landed.

“Shall we?” He asked as he stood and reached out his hand to help you out of your seat, following you down the isle and through the ramp to the crowded airport in Dallas.

“Well, you got a ride picking you up?” He asked as the two of you walked slowly.

“I wish. 2 hour layover, and then one more short flight home.” You smiled.

“I guess this is where I leave you then.” He said as he stood in front of you. He pulled his backpack around and began digging through a pocket. First, he pulled something small out and held it in his hand as he zipped open the larger compartment. You were confused as he pulled out an old Cowboys hoodie and looked up to you with a smile.

“For your next flight.” He said as he held out some earbuds. You smiled widely as you accepted them with a chuckle. Then he pushed the hoodie towards you.

“Jensen, I can’t. This looks important to you.” You said as you ran your hand across it, it was clearly well worn and soft. A few frayed edges telling you he’s had it for quite some time.

“It is.” He nodded. “Got me through some hard days. You’ll need more than me for a while.”

“Jensen.” You said softly as you blushed.

“I’ll get it back in a few months.” He winked. You took it from him and wrapped your arms around it.

“Thank you, for this, for the plane… everything. I don’t feel so afraid to go home now.”

“Thanks for letting me just be myself for a while.”

“Anytime, Ackles.” You grinned. “Hey. Don’t go meeting any crazy girls on a plane between now and September.”

“Met my crazy girl quota for the year already.” He teased as he leaned forward and kissed your cheek. You lost your breath for a moment as he pulled back. He walked away but threw a glance over his shoulder at you before disappearing into the crowd.

“Dammit, Ackles.” You sighed as you walked in the opposite direction, a permanent smile on your face.

#supernatural #spn #spnfic #dean #deanwinchtser #jensen #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #fanfic #comfort fic

[writer-komaru]

Hi bbg I commented a while ago asking(begging actually) if u would consider writing more fics of gorou scara and our lovely kazuha as subs. I am here today asking if u have taken my questions(my begging) into consideration and thought of making some more, if u have but not on this account i will be needing that other account name to view the fics as a volunteer to see if they are any good(they most likely will be and I’ll be drooling) if u wanted to make them but on this account I will still be checking every 2 mins to see if one is out I do recommend u make an acc for subs since by far most of what I’ve seen u have just sub!reader so it will be amazing if u do make one if u feel like u need more motivation I recommend going to my post(you know who I am) to get inspiration by all my thirsty begging. PLEASE DO MAKE SOME FICS FOR THEM THO U SEEM TO HAVE THE TALENT

I’m so sorry I just saw this! Tumblr was hiding this from me. Damn you tumblr *shakes fist angrily*

I did manage to start this, tho it’s unfinished

(I may or may have not hit the delete button and gave myself a heart attack while copy and pasting this here- 👀)

Kinks I think these perverts would have lol

~. ——————————-.~

Kaveh, Tartaglia, Kaeya

~. ——————————-.~

Kaveh -

MAJOR panty stealer! I mean, all of these guys would but he is on ANOTHER LEVEL

Constantly you will be losing panties you literally JUST wore. Like you just took them off before taking a shower and BOOM! They vanish into thin air

After a while of this magic act, you confront your roommate about it. Just as you would suspect, he pleads innocence. Who would ever admit to doing something weird anyways?

But to Kaveh, he just can’t help it. As soon as he walks by your room and catches a glimpse of your dainty panties loosely thrown on the floor, he feels something wash over him.

A need.

He quickly swipes it and returns to his room.

He examines the material, unable to help from biting his lip as he sees the slight dampness in the center.

God, he already feels hot all over.

Before he knew it, he was huffing your panties like a drug, desperately his fist.

You would certainly think he was disgusting for doing something like this, wouldn’t you?

But, the thought of you punishing him only eggs him on.

That’s why whenever he does something like this, he always leaves the door unlocked, in the hopes you will walk in on him being the pathetic pervert he is.

And maybe his fantasy will come true by how many fucking times he does this. It truly is a problem.

Tartaglia-

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t like knife play.

He lives for the adrenaline rush of battle, but the strangely addictive feeling of you towering over him, glaring down at him as you press a knife ever so close to his jugular.

The power dynamic alone is enough to send him over the edge, but when you actively try to make him submit has his face twisting into the most lewd expression you can think of.

Whether it be knives, whips, tasers, or even guns, he’s into it all.

The more his life is actually in danger, the stronger the rush he feels.

And when you tie him up, too.

God, you will have the man pleading. Not for his life, but for you to absolutely RUIN HIM.

Do anything to him. He wouldn’t mind.

Kaeya -

This flirt LOVES to tease you. And what makes it worse is how he will leave you hanging. The bastard-

He will do the most scandalous things out of nowhere, I swear.

You could be on your way to a meet up with some of your friends and he will just pull you into an alley and tease the everliving FUCK out of you and just.

Let you go.

He’s an absolute brat.

One of the reasons he’s a brat is in hope that when you get home you’ll take all that anger out on him.

He is obsessed with hate sex

He wants you to, just like Tartaglia, RUIN HIM.

Yes, some say this relationship is unhealthy.

But

He’s so fucking good in bed you can’t help but just stick around for the sex.

#I’ll most likely write more for them because they are my beloved lol #kaeya x reader #kaveh x reader #tartaglia x reader

[embracethereaper42]

Ebb and Flow

Author's note: So this is my first short story I have ever posted on Tumblr, or any platform. Feedback would be greatly appreciated if you're willing to leave a note. Thanks for reading!

Summary: A woman, home alone is fed up with her abusive husband and how toxic their marriage has become.

Content warning: abuse, self harm, toxic relationship.

Word count: 1,339

 An unholy cross between a sob and a shriek clawed its way out of my throat as I hurled the balled up t-shirt against the closed bedroom door. Rage irritated my veins as I searched out something to destroy, something subtle that Brennan wouldn’t notice. I strode over to our bed and ripped the sheets off, throwing them in a mangled mess on the floor. My actions only seemed to ignite the feelings I had been repressing for months and the more I tore apart our bedroom, the more torn apart I felt myself. But I didn’t want to stop. I flung the pillows at the wall one by one, making sure each swing of my arm was harder than the last. The sharp ache that spread throughout my shoulder only ignited my frustration.

I strode over to the bedside table and picked up the picture frame that resided on the back left corner. Trapped behind the glass was a photo I had taken of the ocean cliffside from our last trip to Maine together. The sea spray had been icy and Brennan had lent me his pullover sweatshirt to protect me from the mist, his hands on my waist steadying me as I took the picture from the adjacent cliff. I wanted to throw the damn thing into the wall and watch the glass break like the waves did that day. My muscles shook from how hard I was gripping the frame as I stared at it, scorching tears starting to blur my vision. I wanted to throw it so fucking bad, but I knew he would notice glass fragments in the carpet. It would only make things worse.

I used to feel safe around Brennan. Used to love him even. He used to touch me gently at night. He’d hold me or simply rest his hand on my waist, as if he was grounding himself to me while we slept. I used to love watching him sleep, to brush the hair out of his face while his eyelids fluttered shut. He started to grow distant when he lost his job. He would go out drinking in the early afternoon and come home late at night after doing god knows what. He would smell of booze and sweat, drenching the house with his stench as he kicked his shoes into the wall and collapsed on our bed. He started to fade and I was forced to watch. 

His temper became shorter and shorter and he had no one to take it out on except me. He would lash out at me for anything and everything. The bed being unmade, how selfish I was, leaving the door locked, leaving it unlocked, and on and on and on. How he didn’t trust that I was sharing the money I was making, that I was saving some of it for myself and that I was ruining our marriage. Truth be told, he was right. I was storing a portion of my paycheck away. I want to leave so goddamn badly, but I have nowhere to go and no way to get there. Brennan and I share a car, he bullied me into selling mine shortly after he lost his job so we could have some extra cash. I can’t go to my parents, Brennan and I had eloped and moved halfway across the country, I haven’t talked to them since. I had deleted their contacts years ago and for all I knew they weren’t even in the same state as they were when I left. 

I curled my fingers into my palms and flexed them back out as I whipped my head around the room. The anger started to subside and instead I was left with anxiety bleeding from my lungs and into my veins. My muscles were overdosing on adrenaline as I stumbled to the bedroom door, pulling the worn doorknob towards me. I stalked to the kitchen, favoring the outsides of my feet; a result of trying to become invisible. 

I remember the first time Brennan laid his hands on me in anger. He had been out drinking that day and my friend had shot me a text with a picture of him feeling up some skank at the bar. I had had my suspicions about him cheating, but seeing proof in a photograph was something I was unprepared for. For some reason I felt embarrassed, like I was the one caught cheating. I had waited for him on the couch that sat to the right of the front door of our apartment, my leg bouncing with anxiety. The second he slurred through the front door I stood up and confronted him. I didn’t think he could hurt me. I didn’t think he would. But the moment I had raised my voice to match his I found myself against where the wall meets the floor, a sharp pain at the top of my skull from the impact. Another pain in my ribs from where he kicked me shortly after. Whore. Slut. Disgusting bitch. The lingering bruises seemed to echo his voice on my skin. It became worse after that. Ungrateful on my wrist. Crybaby around my neck. The stains caging me to my fear, and to him. I knew I should leave. But in the fear there was familiarity. And in the familiarity there was safety.      

When I reached the kitchen I started opening and closing cupboards aimlessly. My insides were restless, a rabbit trying to escape from a bear trap, bleeding out desperately in its efforts. Finally, I realized there were no more objects left for me to safely destroy. So I started to destroy the only thing I had left: myself. I raked my nails from the junction of my neck, down and across my chest. I crossed my arms and, starting at my shoulders, dug in. Uprooting my skin, leaving pretty little scores for me to trace later. I needed to prove that Brennan wasn’t the only one who could hurt me. I can hurt me too. I’m my own person. I’m in control goddamn it! Not him, me! He can’t hurt me if I hurt myself more. Peeking out from the waistband of my shorts I noticed the yellow tinged bruise he had left on my hip. I curled my fist up and slammed it into the color. A strangled sob of pain escaped me followed by a sharp hiss of an inhale. I held my breath as I waited for the throbbing to subside before I started to pummel it, not stopping this time. Grunted shrieks escaped through my gritted teeth as I relentlessly beat into my flesh. I sped up, my hands moving to hit my palms into my thighs and then moving to grasp my hair as I doubled over, crying. I cried like a child, coughing hard and gagging in an attempt to clear the phlegm coating my throat. Tears ran into my hairline and snot trickled down my lip as I rested my forehead on the cool tile of the kitchen floor.

Gently, I wrapped my arms around myself. My right hand gripping my side, and my left hand gripping my shoulder as I rocked myself back and forth on the floor. Fatigue started to overcome me as my tears dried and I was left with an overwhelming sense of numbness. I took an uneven inhale that got caught as a hiccup, sniffing shortly, then blowing the breath out slowly against the floor. I could feel my eyelids were puffy, wet, and itchy; swollen partially shut due to the salty tears. Softly, I turned slightly before flopping onto my side against the kitchen floor. I couldn’t see the front door from where I was, but I heard the key in the lock before the abrupt suction of the door opening. I felt the cold wind blow into the apartment, brushing the hair back from my face. I rested my eyes, and waited for Brennan to find me.

#writing #short story #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #feedback please #dark art #goth #toxic relationship #dark story #storytelling #gothic

[el-ly-sha-give-no-f]

What about something like mr Ben Barnes and the reader get caught in the rain and have their first kiss? My idea was first kiss, but I just tossed something out there. 💕 I’d love anything you have. Please and thank you!

DANCING IN A RAIN

PAIR: Ben Barnes x reader

looks like Mr Bin Bons again, so here is it, thanks for your request, sorry for the delayed post! I got my Tumblr normal again! enjoy <3

words: a lot

It's Saturday, which means I'm off to work today. Ben and I are planning to go to our favourite cafe that we always go to. You know..... talk about life, work or maybe love life. I don't want to talk about the love life stuff actually, but that's the only interesting topic to talk about. Well, actually I had a crush on Ben since three years ago, Yeah three years ago, starting when we met at my friend's party and we get along.

I mean who doesn't have feelings for him? It's Ben Barnes...... and I know he will never love me back, how can I know? lately Ben has been talking about this mysterious girl. He refused to tell me about her, not even a little bit. She seems like a pretty and kindhearted person that makes everyone adores her. Maybe they are in love with each other? or perhaps they are already together but Ben doesn't tell me yet? I don't know shit about this.

Ben has a great personality that makes him suit her, unlike me. The loveliest thing I like about him is he would call me using pet names such as "darling, sweetheart, love" and many more, I can't even address it!!!, I know it's a typically British thing to do but I flatter every time I hear him calling me those names from his pretty mouth.

Sadly, my "thinking about Ben" section is interrupted by my phone ringing. Speaking about the person itself, Ben is the one who calls me... probably wants to talk about today's plan. "Hello?" I greet first, "Hello,, Y/N! where are you? I'm in front of your house right now, I've been ringing your doorbell and standing in front of your house for the whole of my life," he said, "bro what?" "yes what indeed".

I run to my window, and there he is the most revising man I've ever met in my whole life, except my father of course. "Hello? you there darling?". Interrupted by Ben's voice, "Yeah, yeah I'm coming in 10 minutes", "come on, I know it's not gonna be 10 minutes" he stated to me while laughing. "No no, I promise it's 10 minutes"."okay, your ten minutes starting from now" SHIT, I immediately ended the call.

Im not even ready yet, everytime we both go hang out, this guy will never ever gonna tell me when he will gonna come to pick me up. I fucking hate it.

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10 minutes later

"well, you took 9 minutes 55 seconds, You did great sweetheart," he said while he stopped his stopwatch on his wrist. "yeah, yeah, let's go before someone takes our favourite spot," I said while opening his car door. ". Now we both in his car. Suddenly he asks "what's up with the grumpy voice? Is it your time of the month?" I turn to look at him while I gasp and I smack his arm "ouch! that hurt" he yelps, "Good, im not grumpy, and no, it's not my time of the month" I stated. "okay okay, sorry" he mumbles and he starts his car engine.

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It's hard for us to find a parking lot around the cafe, it's packed with many people today its usually doesn't, but I guess it's because of Saturday. It takes us about 20 minutes to find a perfect parking spot but our parking spot is far away from the cafe that we always go to. "let's go, we need to walk a little bit. Are you okay with that? or do you need me to carry you?" ben teased, but I just glare at him and open his car door, I heard him mumble "no? okay, alright" and step out of his car.

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Damn, it's really far than I thought, delighted that im not wearing my heels, just sneakers, cause im a casual and simple person, but maybe I need to accept Ben's offers earlier, Ew no! It'll be weird. Come on y/n don't be that obvious. "y/n", back to reality and I look at him, "we're here darling" and I nod.

We enter the cafe, the first thing I look for is our favourite spot, guess whattttttttt!!!!?? no one sits there yet, well I'll take the"Yet". As I walk to the table, I heard Ben calling for me, so I turn to look at him (and said johnny don't hit me you said you loved me forever LMAO NO)

"order?" he mouthed while pointing his index finger at the menu. "as usual" I mouthed back, and he show me thumbs up. So I continue walking to the table and sit down on the wooden chair. I zoned out of the window while thinking about the "mysterious" girl that Ben talking about, to focus on zoning out till I didn't realize Ben sit down in front of me. "it's my turn to pay right?" I nod but still watch people walking by the streets of London.

"y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n...look at me" he calls me with his strong tone

oh oh.....

I do as he said, I turn to look at him.

"I don't know how many times I've already ask you this question, but I can tell something is wrong, please answer me this time, are you okay and is something wrong?" he asks. I can tell he's getting annoyed right now.

"and I don't know how many times I answer your dumb question, im okay and nothing wrong!" I whisper-shout, not to get anyone in the cafe's attention or distract them cause of my voice. If he wants to know how much eager I am wants to ask about the girl.

"it is something wrong with you y/n, cmon, hey, I knew you for 3 years and you know your bullshit thingy doesn't work for me"

God help me, I swear this guy, the urge to just throw him out of the window, but I can't refuse to look at his beautiful eyes.

''it's nothing wrong Ben trust me, just tell me about you"

"about me? girl, you know me for 3 years, isn't it enough for you to know everything about me?"

"no, I mean, what's new, cmon we do this every week," I said

"Okay okay, im joking, nothing new, I brought a new book and some stuff I brought from oversees just came in front of my doorstep yesterday and about the girl that I told you, boring boring boring."

bro, it suddenly makes me excited, finally! he mentions the girl, and oh, here it comes.

"what's up with the girl?" I ask him, trying to not sound so desperate

"nyeh, nothing much, she so annoying sometimes and grumpy for no reason but I love it, she looks so cute" he replied

I didn't hear him talking, all I can do is staring at him, and the way he just talked about her made me shiver and how the feeling of jealousy I can't even describe, and it was time to ask myself.

"why not me?"

didn't even realize how stupid I am, I mumble it but enough for him to hear.

"why not you what darling?" he asks me confusedly.

I quickly shake my head" nothing, must be you that misheard it" trying to cover it up.

"maybe"

he continues to rumble about the girl, all I can do is nothing but just nod my head.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The amount of time I waited for him to talk about the girl, only God knew it.

"darling we gotta go seems like the sky is turning grey and we parked away from this cafe so we don't have time to run, let's go let's go" I turn my head up to look out from the window, indeed true.

we quickly stand up, he collects all of his stuff on the table and we run out of the cafe door, ignoring people's stares, but guess what.

IT'S RAINING!

Ben is behind me, as we continue running I heard his step become slower, I turn my body to look at him and see him just standing still. What the hell does this man think his doing?!

"WOI! what the frick are you doing Ben?!" I yelled.

"COME HERE Y/N!"

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO!!" not gonna lie, I conquer our voice will be gone tomorrow.

"just, come 'ere darling" his voice becomes slower

I groan and run to him, carefully.

"if i catch a cold you we're the one who going to take care of me, im not joking Ben, im serious" I warn him

"yeah I can see that, well no problem boss"

we just stare at each other

"let's dance?" suddenly he asks, are this guy serious?

"I can't, I don't know how to dance, all I can do is step on your feet," I said while we both laughed.

He nods, "I know, just follow me" no need to object, I just nod

He snakes his right arm on my waist, and my right hand lock with his left fingers while my other hand wrap around his neck.

we start to sway back and forth, and he twists me around, we laugh and do the same thing again and again until this one time we look at each other eyes.

"People will see ask Ben, especially the paps" I remind him

"Let them be, I want to show off my beautiful girl to this entire world, the girl that I can't stop thinking and talking about this lately, the girl whose smile is just magnificent, her laugh enough to drive me crazy, the girl that I've been falling in love and waiting for three years, the girl in front of me right now is the one who I've been waiting for, it's you y/n, it's you" he confesses.

I start to tear up and speechlessness washing over me, don't know if it's real or not, I don't know how to reply to his confession. But instead , he adds.

"y/n, I like you! I just wasted my three years confessing my feeling for you, three years y/n" he sounds regretful.

I shake my head " no it's okay Ben, it's okay, we both wasting our time, I like you too ben, I'm just afraid to confess that I like you. I thought the girl you talk about lately is a girl from your works or something, but no im so stupid to reali-" my rumble got cut off by Ben's soft lips on my lips.

Sadly we have to pull away because of our breath.

"hey" he cupped my cheek "as long as we are together, is enough," he said sweetly.

"of course" I nod and kiss him again, softly.

"Finally, you are mine and I am yours" he hugs me tightly

"quite romantic doesn't it?" im joking

we both laugh

the number of kisses we share on the streets of London and on a rainy day I can't address it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh ma gadddd yeayyy!! finish let me know what you guys think, I love you guys thank you for reading stay safe and much, love <3

#ben barnes x reader #ben barnes #ben barnes imagine #billy russo x you #the punisher imagine

[jujutsuflavoredpeach]

Choso, Chapter One.

Pairing Choso x fem!reader Content angst, hurt, choso neighbour, slow burn romance Warnings domestic violence, physical abuse A/n This is something I started to write not so long ago. I tend to gravitate towards angst every damn time, even if I don't really want to. I tried to keep it light this time. This is trully shameless, 'cause I wanted to finish another series first, but Choso really got to me and it couldn't be helped. Besides, there's not much written about Choso, on Tumblr at least. I've been half drunk, half sober writing this, tbh. I've been leaning on this character way too much and projecting a whole damn lot. ¡So here you go! Enjoy.

CHAPTER TWO

It hadn't been long since Choso had moved to the city. He still hadn't gotten used to how noisy it could be. Tonight a storm had claimed over it, so his ears would be getting a much needed rest.

Choso was calm, immovable and patient, and that is exactly how he stayed sitting from his spot on the windowsill, straining his ears, hearing the sound of keys jingling and the complaints of a female voice that came from the corridor.

After a while, he walked to the door and opened it without trying to make too much noise. There you were, struggling to open the door to next door's apartment. He knew the building locks could be a proper headache, but the fact that you looked upset and didn't seem to have the patience couldn't be helping you much either.

Your eyes immediately locked with his, as you turned your heard to the sound of someone clearing his throat beside you.

The man's appearance took you a by surprise. He was a big guy, broad-shouldered and pale, with dark hair tied in a lose knot, and a dark mark across the brige of his nose that extended to both sides of his cheeks. The small hairs on your arms raised as he towered over you with his great height.

"So sorry for being noisy at an hour like this." you told him with a worried face. "I'm Y/n. My boyfriend just kicked me out of our apartment and the landlord of this building happens to be my best friend. He was kind enough to let me stay here. We'll be neighbours, for a short while at least." Your tone of voice showed how embarrassed you were, and how bad you felt. It was late at night after all, and you got nervous at the thought that you might have woken him up.

"I'm Choso ¿Need any help?"

His deep voice tickled your ears, you were taken aback by how soothing it actually was. Choso eyed you up and down, noticing how soaked you were from the rain. Droplets fell from your hair at the same rate as his breathing, and you were only wearing a long coat with a crop top and shorts underneath. You were shaking like a leaf from the cold, and he could see the exhaustion reflected in your eyes.

"Oh, ¡No! That's too kind, and it's almost 2:30 a.m.." you words came out with a complementary sneeze. "The sound of raccoons fighting in the garbage alley for a slice of pizza it's the only thing you'll hear after I tear this door down, I swear."

"That's what makes this place so lovely."

Choso earned a giggle from you. Even as he remained expressionless, he made you feel more at ease.

"Yeah, I bet." you smiled.

"If you let me I can just- I'll be quick." he said pointing at the door with a nod, asking your eyes for permission. You nodded quietly, gulping hard at the sight of his veiny forearms and strong set of rough hands. He was wearing a black loose t-shirt and black joggers. Even if the shirt didn't hug his body, the movement of his shoulder blades was noticeable as he worked the keys on the lock.

Said and done. Choso turned the keys from side to side and opened the door in less than a breath, making you snap out of your thoughts with a blush.

"Thank you so much Choso, I apprecia-" you turned around as soon as you dropped the last bag in your apartment but Choso had disappeared, leaving you dumbfounded.

You gently closed the door with a sigh, thinking just how awfully quiet he was. Choso had been nothing but helpful to you and he seemed like an overall nice guy. The purplish reddish bags around his eyes gave you a hint that he was probably desperate to dive back into his bed, and you didn't blame him in the least.

At the moment, you just focused on findging the stuff you needed for the bathroom. Your body was begging for a hot shower and preferably dry clothes. All of a sudden your phone rang, but as soon as you reached for it you heard a barely audible knock on the door, more like a thump. You were torn between asnwering and picking up, so you just grabbed the phone an answered mid-way to the door.

"¿Hello?" you said taking a look through the peephole. Like you had locked the door once you got inside.

"It's Choso."

'It's Koji.'

You opened the door with annoyance written all over your face. It was directed at the voice on the other end of the phone, but of course, it wasn't like you could explain that to Choso right at that moment, as you met his gaze with furrowed brows and a sigh of frustration as soon as he came into vision.

He was carrying a mug on each hand. One with a tea of ​​some sort, and the other one you assumed it was coffee, plus he had a thick fluffy towel draped over his shoulder. There was no expression on his face, but you caught a slight twitch of his eyebrow that made you realize that you looked nothing like five minutes ago.

"Pick one before it gets cold" he said bringing the cups forward. "This is chamomile, and this is coffee with two sugars in it. Sorry, I had to knock with my foot."

'¿Y/n?'

"¿What is it that you want Koji?" you replied in a harsh tone, without taking your eyes off of Choso's and took the chamomile tea from his right hand.

"The towel is for you. With so many bags I asumed you wouldn't find one very quickly, I don't need it right away." he placed it on yor shoulder, seeing as you were the one with her hands tied now. You only stood there with your lips parted as the phone was starting to burn your ear.

'Just so we make it clear, this is definite.'

"Sorry to intrude, I'll leave."

"¡Wait!"

You dropped the phone as you gently grabbed him by the forearm preventing Choso from leaving, and slowly pulled him inside the apartment with a tight lip smile and a nod, as if to say it was okay for him to go in. Your face softened as you watched him take a sip from his mug. For some reason you felt that he'd gotten a little tense back there, when he saw another side of you, so you tried your best to tone it down for the kind giant.

"Don't go." you told him with a hushed tone as you brushed the soft skin of his forearm with your thumb. "But, just let me-" you said, picking the phone up from the floor and showing it to him with an apollogetic look.

He nodded and you took a sip from his mug. You mouthed him a quick 'Thanks' before going back to your call. He started walking around to distract himself from the burning sensation that your fingertips had left against his skin. There wasn't much to see. It was the first time someone inhabited that other apartment since he had moved in, and now he'd be sharing the floor with you.

Choso stood by the window, watching the rain that still poured over the rooftops. Suddenly, the reflection of your image on the window glass made his attention fall on your face. Again, those furrowed brows and that angry vibe. You moved from one side of the room to the other, annoyed, taking sips of the tea he had prepared for you. He didn't forget about your sneeze, or your wet kitty look. Choso kept looking at you through the reflection. The coat bothered you, so you abandoned the cup for a moment to take it off, while you pressed the phone to your shoulder with your cheek.

That's when his lips parted and his brows furrowed at the sight of your discolorated skin. A few bruises on the outside of your left thigh and a hematoma right on your back. As your right arm came into view, he swallowed hard.

"Don't worry, I'll never need you again Koji. If anything, you didn't deserve to know me like that."

Choso turned around this time, with your eyes glued to your face. You hand't noticed, of course you knew you had them, but you were so caught up in your argument that you didn't realize how exposed you were in front of him.

"¿You are selling it? Hm. Well, that's- ¿Who? Oh, I feel sorry for her." you said with a breathy laugh as you took another sip from your mug. Choso could see the tear that had escaped from your eye as soon as you turned around to face the counter. "Well, once my leftovers reach her stomach I don't think she'll be able to digest them. You are simply vomitive."

Choso stood in the middle of the living room checking the time on his wrist watch. He had to be at his work in an hour.

You saw him from the corner of your eye as he left the room, mug in hand, coming back seconds later with a piece of paper between his fingers. You didn't want to turn around and show him your crying face, but just as if he had sensed it, you felt Choso's rough hand giving your good shoulder a light squeeze. You felt the warmth his body radiated from behind you when he slid the piece of paper across the counter surface right in front of you. The arm that came around you brushed against your skin lightly, and you froze at the feeling of his breath against your ear.

"After you rest, head there. Or whenever. That's the adress. I have to get to work."

You heard the door closing, standing there with your stomach pressed against the edge of the cold shiny surface, sniffing quietly as more tears coursed down your cheeks.

#choso #choso imagine #choso x you #choso scenarios #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujustu kaisen #jjk x y/n #jjk x fem!reader #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk scenarios

[shinystars-stuff]

Hello everyone. It has been 9 months.

I apologize for no longer posting but my mood for Tumblr came to a downhill and so I just stopped posting. I moved on to Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, Pinterest, and Discord.

Well… let’s just say… I’m doing a shit ton better on those platforms.

I came back today and only today to update you guys on how much my life has changed.

So nine months ago… that was before I graduated, which would mean that would be February. Jesus, this is about to be long.

So February 28th of this year, I ended a one-year relationship with a boy only to get with someone else. Now, keep in mind that both of these relationships were online. When I got with the new boy, my behavior and actions started to change. We tended to fight a lot and I made him upset quite a lot just as he made me upset. Well, July 18th, he had enough of my lying and my behavior that he broke up with me. Oh yeah, I skipped something important. I graduated on May 28th! 👩‍🎓👩‍🎓

I was pretty upset over the breakup and I stayed single for a while until drama happened and I got with somebody else. I realized how stupid I was and I called off the relationship. My family situation has worsened. A few months ago, my brother officially came back to live with us after his girlfriend cheated on him. He’s been a total pain in the ass, btw.

Me and my brother hardly get along, but the good news is that we are semi-bonding now these days. My mom’s leg situation has worsened for she can hardly stand up now these days. My uncle… he got a rare disease and might not be making it for much longer, plus I’ve lost a lot of family members as of late. I luckily have my Switch to keep me distracted and well organized.

Well- after I graduated high school, I found out that I have social anxiety. I was placed on an anti-depressant pill and bumped up more on my ADHD medication. My parents have been nagging at me to get a job, but with the shit I see happening in life today, plus the things I hear from my family, why would I even want to work in a society like this?! Also, my whole family thinks they have the right to say that I should get a job when I take the fucking trash out, I get shit like drinks and stuff for them, I bring in all the god damn groceries, I check on them everyday. I do the shit willingly and never get asked to be fucking paid!

Let’s uh- change the topic for now. So- well- I’m still making videos and stuff. However, my original TikTok got banned over a dispute with a best friend and uh- I lost three friends by them ghosting me. My videos have actually really improved. In fact, I have them right here.

Well, I only have this one, but this is my biggest and longest working one. This one took me three hours. I mostly make edits on TikTok but on Discord, I have a little roleplay server :3

My Twitter and YouTube, plus Twitter stays quiet most of the time because usually I’ll just scroll and save videos and stuff on the platforms.

My proudest moment and my best moment of this year is this photo right above this. If you don’t know who that is, that is me and a VO actor known as Bob Carter. Bob Carter is in many animes, but when I looked at the top of his poster, my world changed. As you know, I am a huge Fullmetal Alchemist fan and the character he played was Izumi’s husband, Sig Curtis.

I was legit amazed and he was absolutely friendly. I asked him for a hug and he gladly accepted it because I told him I had watched the anime a million times. I really wanted to show him an FMA edit I made, but I was too excited to show him. I even got to meet the singer for Sailor Moon, only to look later and find out that Bob photobombed it XD

So yeah, even though I’ve gone through a lot of shit this year, I’ve had a pretty good year. Anyways, I think I’m going to go ahead and finish off the post here.

Thank you guys for supporting me on Tumblr. If you wish to add me on Discord or anything, my Tumblr ask-box and messages are still open, so feel free to. I love you guys. Thank you for giving me a home.

#arcane #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #sailor moon #edit #arcane edit #life #update

[popsicletheduck]

Tumblr has denied me a notif about you answering my ask. Very rude. Anyway i Big Care Mosca and Ash now and ending on Ash calling Mosca kadan took me Out. Pls tell me about their one-sided enemies-to-friends speedrun (or anything else you wanna), I'm all ears (P.s. it doesn't matter when you answer this, could be a while from now and I'd still be interested, i don't wanna drag you into typing up essays for me if you've got more pressing things to put your energy towards!!)

haha, my evil plan to inflict my blorbo feelings on my friend has been a success!! I am an evil genius!! (also, I appreciate the concern, but don't worry, I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing. this brainrot is terminal)

okay, the one-sided enemies-to-friends speedrun, aka the first week or so Mosca and Ash knew each other. I'm gonna try my best to make this readable and coherent and not go off on long tangents, but where the story of the first udaak fight took place mostly over a single session, this story spans many, and draws a lot more on both characters' backstories, so it's probably gonna be a bit more scattered. and longer. definitely longer.

So this story actually starts many months ago (both in and out of game), when Ash first got pulled through a portal from his home world of Thedas to... somewhere else. See, this game is a multiverse game, with characters drawn from a variety of different worlds who ping around the multiverse working to stop chaos on the behalf of a strange group of mutiversal entities called The Quanta. Now, I wasn't there when the game started, so all this information comes courtesy of my good friend who plays Ash. Ash took this transition outwardly pretty damn well, but inwardly... he'd been raised in an anti-magic cult (which is a gross oversimplification of things, but a full explanation would be long and complicated, so this will do), taken from the only home he'd ever known, was now stuck with people who he previously would've considered purposeless things, didn't speak the language particularly well (apparently even worse than currently) and was constantly surrounded by unsettling, fucked up magic. There was a lot going on for him that he lacked the ability to express or anyone he trusted enough to express it to. So he kinda just... sat with it, until slowly things got better. He learned to trust and care about the people he was with, he learned to be less scared of magic (some of the later involved talking to a Skyrim dragon which I wish was a joke but is not).

So time goes on, and we jump forward to the moment Mosca joined the party. See, Mosca also unexpectedly got pulled through a portal, but Mosca got pulled through a portal in the middle of a fight. As in, they were fighting, and a portal appeared and swept towards them, and then on the other side of the portal the party was also in a fight. Which means their introduction to Ash is watching him in a rage use the skull of an undead to kill another undead. It was... memorable to say the least, but not necessarily in a good way (yes Mosca also killed a bunch of undead in that fight, yes one of those kills involved violent decapitation, I never said they weren't a hypocrite).

So Mosca is introduced to the multiverse, and let's just say they don't take the change gracefully. They're not as scared of magic as Ash was (or is), but they don't like it and they don't trust it, and they are suddenly surrounded by it. They had also spent the last six months without seeing another living person, and the change to suddenly being with a party at all times is jarring to say the least. By their second day they're curled up outside a tavern having a panic attack. And the one who ends up sitting with them is Ash. See, Ash understands what it's like to struggle with the transition and sees a lot of himself in Mosca. It's cathartic for him to have someone else who doesn't trust magic, and he has a lot of empathy for them.

Mosca, on the other hand, does not trust him in the slightest. Ash is Big and Strong and Very Clearly A Threat. This is unfortunately and accidentally only amplified by an interaction maybe two days into knowing each other? After another fight in which Mosca is triggered to hell and back by the smell of gunpowder (backstory thing), they end up screaming at Ash to fuck off when he attempts to help. Ash actually takes this fine, but Mosca, once they calm down, is afraid they've made him hate them, which they need him not to do only because their patron is starting to make it clear that they're going to be stuck with these people for at least the foreseeable future. So Mosca goes to apologize. Ash waves the apology off, but in the process of trying to explain why an apology isn't necessary because he understands what they're going through, he ends up explaining what happens to mages in the cult that he was raised in. I'm... not going to explain here because it's... uncomfortable and a bit graphic, but suffice to say, Ash does explain. And Mosca, who previously had been hunted for having magic, takes this very, very badly. In their mind now Ash is a ticking time bomb, that will explode into violence the moment he figures out that they have magic (which they have been attempting to hide... poorly).

So this is where the one-sided enemies-to-friends comes in, because Mosca is convinced that there is a very real possibility of Ash killing them at some future date, while Ash could not be more chill. Mosca is in the corner plotting way to try and fight him if necessary while Ash is just like "neat, new companion, they seem like they might be cool". He is completely unaware that Mosca is terrified of him until...

Well, while traveling the party found a massive, and massively magical, skull, and some of the party decided to fuck around inside said skull and then came out with funky colored eyes and temporary magical bonuses and Mosca, well... kinda snapped.

"Grave of the gods, you're all insane! The only one here who has any sense is him" pointing to Ash, "and he-"

And there they very abruptly cut off, suddenly aware that you shouldn't accuse someone of plotting to kill you. Because either you are right, and they will, or you are wrong, and because of the accusation they then might.

"And he what?" Ash asks. Mosca makes no reply at all, just silence. The party eventually moves on. That night at camp Ash tries again.

"Do we have a problem?"

And Mosca, in one of the worst lies in their life, just says, "No."

Ash is, of course, not fooled by this, but understands there's no trying to talk to them about it now. He's patient. He can wait.

He doesn't have to wait long, because this is where the speedrun comes in. I can't remember the exact timeline, it might've been that night, it might've been a few days later, but not long after all that, Mosca has a dream. They've had a few interactions with the patron, but up to this point their patron hasn't been particularly direct, not since the making of the pact. They are, after all, dying. Their communications have been sparse to nonexistent. But Mosca gets a dream from their patron, where they end up in a cabin sitting across from them, as their patron explains that there are no more living people in their home world. The only thing left are the undead. That's why six months passed without Mosca seeing anyone else. There was no one else to see. Mosca's quest to save their world from the undead has unequivocally failed. And their patron does set them on the path to fixing thing, pointing them in the direction of, essentially, time travel. Reverse time to a point before the undead curse happened and then make sure it doesn't. But in the moment, Mosca can really only focus on the overwhelming weight of their failure and being the last survivor from their whole world.

After this dream they spend two hours alone on watch, stewing in all these feelings. And then the end of their watch comes, and they wake their replacement, who happens to be Ash. And they should just go back to bed, but. They can't. How in the world do you even begin to process something like that?

Well, for Mosca, they ended up spilling it to Ash, just to say it out loud to someone. It's disjointed and awkward and not at all the whole picture, but they tell him they can't go home. That they're the only one left. And he responds by telling them he can't go home either. The cult he grew up in would kill him on sight if they ever found him. And when Mosca explains that they never hated him but that they were scared of him, that they've been running for years from people who want them dead, Ash says that they're part of the group now, so he's going to protect them, and that their problems are the group's problems, and if those people show up, they'll take care of it. And Mosca, in the grip of grief and desperate for any comfort or reassurance, believes him. Maybe not fully, maybe not completely, not yet, but enough to understand that he's not a threat to them, and that he understands what it means for them to have lost their home and be surrounded by magic they're uncomfortable with. And they stand with him on watch for the next couple of hours, but they do so not wearing their mask. The symbol of their paranoia and lack of trust.

Because no matter what else happens (and so much has happened since then) Mosca and Ash's trust in each other is complete and unshakable. For all that Mosca doesn't trust themself, and for all that they believe that Ash shouldn't trust them, he does. And for all that Mosca is a terrible, suspicious bastard who trusts no one, they trust Ash. That, more than anything else, is the foundation for all that has come since, and no matter how often they argue (and boy have they argued), that trust still stands unbreakable.

#mosca #battle bros #multiversal shenanigans #god I hope that made sense "^^ #there were a few bits I had to leave out #mostly to make this coherent in any way shape or form #but this should be the gist of it all #though it does neglect the detail that when mosca went to apologise #ash was in the middle of target practice with his javelins #and upon mosca approaching insisted they try as well #which was definitely the beginning of 'ash deals with mosca having too many feelings by startling them out of it' #mosca convinced ash hates them now: listen- #ash literally shoving a javelin into their hands: you try! #mosca: ??????????

[gingerbreadmonsters]

hi friend!! i found u thru obey me and ive read most if not all of ur works in that fandom and loved every one!!! i see ur talking about something else that makes u super happy, i think redacted asmr is how u tag it?? it makes me super happy that u love it sm, but i know nothing abt it!!! :( if u have the time and energy to spare, would u be willing to tell me more about it :D?

lots of love for u and i hope u have a wonderful wonderful rest of ur day!!

ok darling i am back!! full of delicious breakfast and ready to go!! (do not mention that it is 1:45pm)

OBEY ME!! i took a bit of a break from logging in while i had exams but i'm getting back into the habit now, and let me tell you i am LOOKING at the monster outfits...... yum 🤩🤩

i generally do a pretty shite job of explaining, as you can see in this ask, so i'll have another stab at it:

"redacted asmr" is a youtube channel run by this guy called erik, and is essentially a collection of audios describing the lives of various people who live in a universe similar to ours, except that they have magic! each audio is focused around a particular character (e.g. "sweet werewolf" asher, "flirty vampire" vincent, "tsundere fire elemental" damien) voiced by erik, speaking to the listener, and the vast majority are romance-oriented (i.e. the character falling in love with you, the listener), although that's not true for some.

seeing as all twenty-something boys probably aren't all going out with the same listener (unfortunately, there's just not enough hours in the day!), they each have a particular nickname for you, which lets us distinguish between the different listeners a bit more easily.

(e.g. david calls his listener "angel'", and geordi calls his listener "cutie" - the two listeners are technically both you, the real person listening to the audio, but within the redactedverse, they're two separate people in two separate places with two separate boyfriends. this is the case for virtually all of the boys, except for the ones that i'll affectionately call the DAMN gang: gavin, lasko, damien, huxley, and caelum. all of them have the same listener, called "freelancer" - well, gavin calls them "deviant" but he's still talking to the same person, yk?)

the audios technically function on their own, but put them all together and you get this incredible connected universe that's still ongoing! we get new audios every tuesday and saturday (or monday and friday for patreon subscribers), with an 18+ BA (stands for bonus audio, and is basically a soundgasm audio with one of the boys - i think last month was aaron, and the month before was sam) once a month on patreon 🥰 we're currently in the throes of hot boi summer 2022 (fun and spicy audios for the whole month of june), and let me tell you it is GOOD hehe 😈😈

the wonderful @softredrobin made an EXCELLENT graphic for first-time listeners, because the long list of potential audios can be very intimidating when you're trying to choose which character to start with - you can find that here 😍

or if you'd prefer to listen to all of the boys in a semi-chronological order, @obsessedwvampbois has put together a suggested order for that - you can find this incredible labour of love here! it was made in january, so more audios (plus another character or two) have since been released, but this is still a very comprehensive and useful list for new listeners 💫

as if that wasn't enough, the redacted fandom really is a lovely bunch - the official discord, the ao3 tag, and the tag here on tumblr are PACKED with amazing, incredible people and their gorgeous creations! any list i make would be FAR too short, but might i point you in the direction of some of my gorgeous mutuals?

when i joined the fandom a few months ago, i was in AWE of the writers - you HAVE to be following @/ejunkiet, @/sealriously-sealrious, @/solclaw, @/dominimoonbeam, @/romirola, @/lovelylonerliterature, @/onesmallcentury, @/starlitangels, @/glassbearclock....... there are a LOT more, but if you're looking for somewhere to start, you'll DEFINITELY find what you're looking for here 🥰🥰🥰

and the ART!! don't even get me STARTED!! again, there are far too many incredible artists for me to list here, and they literally NEVER miss?? like?? they just... cannot miss?? @/slushrottweiler-blog, @/softredrobin, @/palilious, @/sri-rachaa..... again, this is not a comprehensive list and i'm sure i'm missing a lot, but i think about these guys (gn) literally all the time

in any case, i rambled a LOT, but i hope this makes it a bit easier, darling anon!! the link to the channel is here, and it's free on youtube so no need to pay or anything - you can listen to everything in its entirety there, with the exception of the nsfw BAs, for which you get a preview but the whole thing is too explicit for youtube's rules, so those go on patreon. i suggest only dipping your toes in when you have a bit of time, though - it's very addictive hehe 🤩💕

#ginger speaks to anons #i hope this is ok!! #it sparks so much joy i love it sm :))) #too shy to put this in the tag #so i didn't actually tag people #but you can see who they are #hope you're having a lovely day as well!! #mwah <3

[fartibaba-real-saw-jeffeptsien]

watching a movie with my friends and its really hot but its pretty good cuz we gonna get pizza in like half an hour and I am on my computer doing homework but not really cuz I'm on tumblr and we were watching inception but we got bored so we now watching eric andre and then we stopped it to take a break cuz its hot but another friend came with a fan and now its slightly cooler but its still really hot I mean why do some times of the year be hot like omg can we get some air conditioning like come on well anyway tumbler is fun cuz I can do whatever and booba in my dms I wonder if shes single but idk I have negative rizz PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE so we gonna watch bonesaw its a really good movie with lots of plot welp now the tv went into sleep mode and eric andre isn't on anymore wow I really need to do my homework also my mouse sounds like a space blaster and the door to the room is open to try to cool it off but its not working the fan is helping a little tho idk my nicotine tastes good but it makes me sad welp my name is john kramer and I live at 204 negra arroyo lane albequrque new Mexico and yup that's my real address pls come sent pizza cats are really cool I like them they make funny sounds like meow and mrrp and stuff like that dogs are dumb they don't make funny sounds except boof and stuff like that welp actually it got a little cooler for a split second damn tumblr wheres the character limit my god this is taking forever my Grammarly is begging me to stop also my fingers are starting to hurt a little bit more i mean prolly my arthritis i mean like soup that gives you arthritis and stuff like that also there is the beach that makes your dick fall off and start talking to you that's a line from a movie we watched a while ago this guys dick falls off cuz he took the pill that gives you cancer and his dick fell off and started talking to him anyway guys this is my fanfiction I wrote it myself its about the gay love between lucario and john kramer from saw so it all begins in the woods where john is walking his brain tunmor and he hears something in the woods and he goes and follows the noises and its lucario he is stuck in the tree and john is like omg no way lucario and lucario is like lucario so john helps him get out of the tree but lucario falls down and hits his arm with a loud thud and hes like omg jiksaw no way i love your show and john is like omg tysm and lucario is like what can i ever do to repay you for letting me out of this tree and john is like idk so lucario pulls down johns pants and says i just thought of something and johns old man cock is all flopsy and his pubes are like an old asian man wiht a long beard and lucario sucks off john and john is like ooo ooo aa aaa feels so good and lucario is like schlurp schlurp and john cums but its all dust because hes old and all old men cum dust and john is now in the mood so he turns around and says to lucario to take him so lucario gets hard he has a 9inch red rocket cock and he puts it in john but its not very tight because hes old so it kinda just goes in really easy and lucario is thrusting in and out of john and its really hot and john has a backwards baseball cap on and lucario knots him and john does an aheago face and lucario fills up john with cum and makes his stomach bulge so a few minutes later the knot comes out and john passes out cuz he eepy and lucario smirks and is like thats why they call me the steamroller and phases into nothingness like he was never even there john still waits to this day for lucario to come back but he doesnt know if he ever will so that was my fanfiction guys i hope you like it it took me a few months to write in betwwen my classes so yeah pls like and subscribe also its still hot as fuck in this room but the fan is helping a little bit ok according to google i have only a few hundred more characters left so i will leave you with the wordle answers for the next few days i know them cuz my dad works at the york times and knows all the wordle answers so here you guys go the worlde answers for the next days are