#his daughter will never be elle in the same way his partner is elle

[kresnikcest]

in the ludger ending i think ludger either has a full depressive spiral the party need to actively pull him out of until he's functional enough to be ceo or he just puts all his energy into being ceo of spirius and ghosts the entire fucking party for it because if he has to see all of them living their lives while he's haunted by elle and julius' sacrifices he is going to lose it

#v #x2 #loneliest end #and it's like a horrible way of thinking and i think ludger would be aware of that because he doesn't want to feel resentment for the party #because all he knows about victor is that his desire to protect elle resulted in killing everyone else #and ludger tries to think about elle because if he thinks about julius he's going to think about the brief brief brief moment #where he thought he could just kill everyone instead of letting julius die #and he can't delude himself into some 'what if' solution where he can save both julius and elle #it's easier to believe julius. who told him to save elle. who clearly wanted them both happy #than it is to believe elle who wanted ludger safe and wanted him to meet prime elle #except ludger cannot face lara. he knows when elle was born and knows he has to meet lara soon but he just can't #maybe it will make him happy the way it did for victor. maybe they are more of the same. but right now he's just thinking it's not elle #his daughter will never be elle in the same way his partner is elle #and he'd just rather actively avoid anyone he knows than stay in contact and watch them tiptoe around him whenever he's there #(and of course because ludger is avoiding them they never quite get back into being friends...) #im sad now :( this fic is gonna suck

[reidsbookclub]

All's well the ends well to end up with you

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem! reader

Word count: 3K

Category: angst , hurt/ comfort , happy ending

you can find the angst no happy ending version here - I recommend reading both since the story differs slightly throughout not just in the ending.

Shout out to@samuel-de-champagne-problems for encouraging me to write this & @boldlyvoid and everyone who helped me come up with Venus' name... you'll see why her name is important in this version

There’s a point in the life of someone where you just give up on the idea that you will find a loving partner that accepted every single shining side and damaged ruptured side that you have to offer, Spener Reid was at this point in his life where he was just about to give up on finding a partner to grow old with. Spencer had always longed for a family to call his own, a partner he could confide in all his fears, insecurities, hopes, and dreams, and children he could tech about life in all of its shiny facets such as mistakes, rebounds, heartbreak, and love. He first could see that dream become a reality when he asked JJ out on that date, but now he is forever grateful that it resulted in an amazing and unmatchable friendship with Penelope after JJ invited her to tag along. With Lila, he saw the spontaneous, get-love quick scheme side of what a shiny lust-driven relationship would entail but he knew that there would be no future there.  Things were slightly different with Elle, he was ready to let her teach him the ropes but she chose another path, a path that he had no choice but to respect. The first time Spencer was able to get a glimpse at the life he always longed for was with Maeve, but it got ripped away from him in the cruelest of ways. Austin brought him an imaginable joy in the form of his daughter and just as he was about to propose, two short days after she was born he showed up at the hospital to find every trace of Austin gone, in her place a letter detailing how sorry she was but this was a life she was just not ready for. It left him heartbroken, not understanding how she could abandon someone as delicate and fragile as their daughter in just days. He ended up picking the name alone, naming her Venus Penelope Reid. Hoping that the little angel would grow up to shine as bright as Venus does and radiate kindness and positivity the same way his best friend does.

Now, Spencer spends his free weekends at the park reading with his daughter and teaching her how to play chess. At times he finds himself wishing that there was someone next to him with her head resting on his lap reading or listening to music. Someone who actually would remember to pack snacks because he was too worried making sure Venus was covered in enough bug spray and sunscreen but, he was slowly resigning himself to the reality that a lifelong partner was just not in the cards for him.  That’s when Spencer looks up and sees her. The sunlight casting a glow on her that he had never seen anyone wear. And when she turns his direction and smiles brightly at him, waving at his little girl Spencer knew that he wanted to get to know everything about her. For the rest of the day, Spencer couldn’t concentrate on his book, just thinking about her and what it would be like to go on a date with her. He spent the whole week daydreaming about the possibilities he would be giving his daughter if he actually found that long-life partner in her, surprising even himself at how wonderstruck and enchanted she had left him.

“Sweetheart, would it be okay if you spent tomorrow with Aunt Penny?” He asked the following Friday.

“Yes!! I love auntie  Penny but why daddy”

“Daddy is going to be a bit busy with tomorrow, that's all, let me call your aunt penny to see if she is not busy”

Spencer spent more than half of his Saturday walking around Centennial Park looking for her, eventually feeling a little silly because the chances of her being there two weeks in a row were not in his favor. Spencer spotted an empty chess stable and sat down planning on starting a game against himself until he was greeted by the most melodic voice he had heard.

“Do you play?”

“Yeah, actually I do” Spencer replied in a rare surge of confidence

“I don’t, would you teach me?”

“I-uh- yeah of course. I love teaching people chess, I teach my daughter every Saturday.”

“Oh…so…so you’re married?” Y/N asked sadly

“No, actually I’m not.”

“Y/N Y/L/N , hi nice to meet you.”

“Spencer. Spencer Reid.  Did you like Pride & Prejudice?

“How did—how did you know? Wait?”

“Ohh-i- i actually saw you—geez I sound like a creep and I’m stuttering like an idiot teenager” he mumbled. “ I saw you last week reading it, you waved at me and my little girl…. I’m not a creep I swear.” he was silently wincing and cursing at his word vomit.

Spencer thought she would walk away right then and there but instead, she just laughed, a harmonious giggle that sounded straight out of one of the many princess movies that his daughter loves to watch, one that he longed to be woken by for the rest of his life.

“I know Spencer, why do you think I’m here. I was hoping to run into the handsome man I saw last week”

Spencer spent all afternoon teaching her how to play chess and in another surge of confidence he asked her out on a date for the following Friday but was overdriven with joy when her reply was, “its barely 7:00 pm how about a coffee date right now?’

Six Months Later

Six blissful months of dates with each other, and in others including Venus is what they both liked to call family outings. Spencer loved the way she fit right in, bringing joy and spontaneity to their lives.  Everything seemed to be going very well for Spencer and Y/N. There were the slight moments that they could tell Venus was adjusting to sharing her dad with someone but they knew that eventually, they would get to become the family that both Y/N and Spencer had longed for.

It wasn’t rare for Spencer to leave Venus with her when he had a case since they started dating, what was rare was the lack of communication and how long he had been gone. Venus was starting to get antsy and annoyed at everything Y/N did that was not the way Spencer did. From not adding chocolate chips to her pancakes to doing her hair wrong, Y/N hoped that Spencer would be back soon.

It takes as a shock to everyone when Emily lets them know that Spencer was in prison in Mexico. The biggest shock came to Venus, when she heard the news she exploded, taking her anger out on Y/N.  “Everything was perfect without you here, and now he is in prison. I HATE YOU”

“Tell you what, behave for me, and when he gets out- because he will- I will leave, everything will go back to the way it was before.”

“You promise?”

“I do”

“Cross your heart and hope to die?”

Y/n goes to make an ‘x’ motion across her heart and says, looking directly into Venus’ eyes “cross my heart and hope to die”

As the weeks passed Y/N could see Venus needing a distraction from everything. She needed a change of scenery so with Spencer’s permission she took her a weekend to New York City. Spending a girls' day at spas and shopping. Y/N and Venus even played a couple of chess matches at central park in honor of Spencer.  Throughout Spencer’s time in prison, Y/N made it her mission to bring just a little bit of light into Venus’ daily life. From baking nights with Penelope to movie nights just the two of them. And when Venus needed help in school she was right there to help her, even if it meant spending all night up trying to understand the ins and outs of mathematics.  And slowly but surely both Venus and Y/N were finding a new normal. And it was one of these nights when Venus got up in the middle of the night for some water that she spotted Y/N cursing at her textbooks and silently wishing Spencer to appear next to her that she found herself wishing Y/N would stay with them for a long time, even catching herself starting to call her mom in front of her friends, but quickly dismissing it as just missing her dad and waiting for a parental figure around.

Three Months Later

Spencer could sense it in the air when JJ told him he was free. He could feel a whole new nightmare begin he just never thought about how hard it would actually hit him. All he wanted to do was go home and hug his two girls. It surprised him when they weren’t outside waiting with Penelope, and he was even more surprised when arriving at the BAU and she wasn’t there only his team, Venus and Diana.

After everyone had their turn in hugging him and welcoming him back he turns to the Venus and says, “Where’s Y/N?”

Venus had long forgotten about the pact with Y/N so she full-heartedly believed what she was saying when she replied, “oh, she said she was going home. She wanted to give us some time for ourselves, your real family she said.” Spencer couldn’t grasp the meaning of her words, the gravity they held. He was too happy to be back and be able to hug his daughter and mom to fully hold on, grasp, understand, and notice the wording his daughter had used.

That night, when Venus and Spencer went home, he noticed the apartment a different shade of black, it was as if every color had been stripped away. The apartment felt 10 degrees colder than he remembered and he felt his heart drop to his stomach when he turned to look at the coffee table and notice every photograph that had y/n in it gone. Silence surrounded them, it was as if you could hear a pin drop. He didn’t like the eerie feeling one bit.

He ran to his bedroom and noticed all her things weren’t there. Spencer started pulling on his hair, scrambling around the apartment mumbling, “no no please no” tears threatened to spill out.

It was as if his heart was being torn apart by a thousand cuts. A thousand paper cuts that is, the reason a paper cut gives feels like it hurts so much worse than other wounds is because of the amount of nerve endings residing on your fingertips. It was this exact feeling that spencer felt slowly taking over his heart.

Two weeks later

Spencer was worried,  alongside Penelope and Luke were picking his daughter from school and when they pulled up to where she was Venus started crying.

“No no go away I want mom, I want mom”

He could feel his heartbreak for his daughter. She hadn’t cried out for her mom in years.

“Baby, my little V, your mom left a long time ag–”

“Not her! My mom. I want my mom Y/N”

“My sweet girl, Y/N left, remember. I think me being in prison was too much for her.”

It was then that Venus decided to look up at her father. And with a guilt-ridden face, she said

“No, she didn’t leave because of you, she left because I asked her to do so.”

Spencer was stunned. That was on reply he wasn’t expecting.

“Care to elaborate?”

“ I was mad. Everything was going well. I felt my life was perfect with just you and me. And then she came along and you went to prison so I was bottling up my feelings - which yes I know that's not a good thing to do - but I did it and then I told her I hated her and that I wouldn’t listen to her for as long as she was in charge of me. That's when we came up with the pact. She said that if I behaved when you got out she would leave. And she did.”

Spencer was holding back tears, he knew Y/N well enough to know that she wouldn’t be back because she respected and loved Venus like her own daughter. Spencer knew that if Venus didn’t want her  around she wouldnt be.

“Wait,” Penelope said, which is when Spencer remembered he had brought both Penelope and Luke with him. “Why are you calling her mom then?”

“Okay so, today we had to write about a family member, why we loved them and how do they make us feel safe and I wanted to write about you dad I really did, but all I could write about was mom- y/n. And I need to tell her. We need to tell her daddy. I need to tell her she’s my mom. I need to tell her how much I miss her, how I had forgotten about the pact, and how even my friends refer to her as my mom. That’s how much I talk about her.”

“You need to understand that what you did has consequences, bigger than getting grounded”

“How big?” she asked

“She might not want to come back, she might have moved on already there are many things that are a factor sweetie”

“Can you at least try to find her so I can apologize?”

“I’ll do my best, little one and I’m sure Aunty Penny will love to help”

Two Weeks Later

“Hello, Dr. Spencer Reid speaking ”

“Hi, Dr. Reid this is Dr. Lancaster from Memorial Hospital I’m calling because a Y/N Y/LN has you as her emergency contact. How soon can you get here?”

“I’m on my way”

It was as if the world had suddenly stopped for Spencer.

Standing up in the middle of the BAU he felt time stand still, he couldn’t hear the world around him, didn’t notice Penelope had picked up his daughter from school and brought her in. All he could do was feel his stomach bubbling up, shivers running through his spine letting out a high-pitched shriek he crumbled to the floor, a panic attack coming in

“Dad dad dad what’s wrong”

“Spence!”

“Boy wonder??”

“PRENTISS GET HERE NOW” Luke yelled

“Y/N….Y/N”

“daddy did you find mom??? Can I finally tell her I love her like a mom and that I’m sorry”

“…Y/N she’s at the hospital”

“Well then let’s go!” A very excited Venus says.

The whole team went to the hospital with Spencer and Venus, there for emotional support in case it was needed.

Walking into the emergency room Spencer felt like he could finally breathe again the moment he heard

“ I don’t care what Dr. What’s his face said. I too am a doctor and I’m telling you I don’t need an MRI, Ct scan, OCT, or anything else that ends in a scan.”

Chucking he couldn’t help but speak up, “well luckily for the poor nurse you’re scaring, I too am a doctor and I say you do…let’s call it…your second opinion shall we?”

“Your Ph.Ds. are of no value here,” y/n said in a teasing matter then added, “what are you doing here anyway? We broke up remember”

“ First, we didn’t break up you left, giving me no choice. But that doesn’t matter I’m here now. Second, you have me listed as the emergency contact”

Y/n wanted to explain why she had left but she didn’t want to get Venus in trouble, not when she had grown to love her as her own. She was bout to come up with a little white lie when she was was interrupted with Venus’  pleading

“Mommy, can you please get the scans done so I can hug you and ask if I can please call you mom because that’s what you are to me? I told dad about our deal and I’m very sorry but mom please get checked out I can’t lose another mom”

Turning to the student male nurse y/n says, “well you heard my daughter take me to the ct scan. Or what do I have to drag myself there?!”

“Dr. Y/L/N please, don’t scare away my student nurses”

“Sorry Bokhee” she sheepishly siad.

“And there will be no scans for you. Dr. Montgomery sent me. She will call you later today with more information, she knows how much you hate being here as a patient. But congratulations you’re pregnant.” Spencer finally remembered he had an audience when a collection of cheers from the team could be heard alongside “I’m going to be an older sister!” excited chanting a y/n saying “I’m what now?” But at that moment all Spencer could feel was happiness, he finally had the family he had longed many years for, the woman he loved was okay, his daughter was happy and he was going to be a father again. It was then when he knew that all would be well if he ended up with her.

“So….y/n can you please come home?” He whispered in her ear memorizing the feeling of her between his arms

“Let’s go home Spence,” she said with a smile.

8 months later

“So pretty boy you got Venus and what are you guys naming this handsome boy?” Penny asked.

Spencer and Y/N at each other knowing that the team would be shedding some tears after this.

“Well, his name is…wait pretty boy? Derek’s the only one that calls me pretty boy why did you—unless..”

“…you didn’t think I was going to miss the birth of the new prettiest boy now did you? Let me see where is he?”

Spencer is grinning widely. Turns to Y/N and sees her nod signaling it’s time.

“ well, you first need to know I named this princess Venus Penelope because Venus is the brightest planet in the solar system and she was my light and my beacon after Austin left and Penelope because she’s the kindest soul I’ve ever met and I wish that for my daughter... And this little guy his name is after the best big brother I ever knew, the first real friend I had as well as after the sun because I think this family is ready to spend some time in the daylight. Meet Derek Aelius Reid.”

Taglist: @samuel-de-champagne-problems

@fightingdragonswithreid @writer-in-theory @pretty-boys-book-club @kodiakwhiskey @the-chaotic-cow @slytherinintj13 @nygmaperry @reidslibrarybook @luredwithpretzels @justreadingficsdontmindme @nomajdetective @lilibet261 @safespacespence @dontjudgemeimawriter @serenity-lattes

To join my taglist click here

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x y/n #dr. spencer reid #doctor spencer reid #boldlyreblog

[kaypeace21]

What's in a name? (Analysing all the names in stranger things)

*I'll be repeating some names more than once as I break down categories .

Show , book, and tv easterggs

Alot of character names may have deeper meaning but some are also refs to stories they liked. The stranger writers twitter posted a list of movies said to inspire s4 (which I’ll be referencing).

Dart- dustin names him this after d'artagenean (a 3 musketeers book character) and one of Dustin's fav candies (3 muskateers). Similarly his pet turtle yurtle is implied to be named after the dr Seuss’ story 'yertle the turtle'.

Brenner- main character from 'the birds', which was on the st s4 list.

Byers- john byers from x files. The duffers mentioned x files was an inspo for the show. Although John byers (from x files) resembles Murray as an unhinged conspiracy theorist. The documentary paradise lost was also cited as inspo for st- john byers and his son, terry, Michael, and Steve were names in said film

Jim Hopper- in Predator (another st inspo) he was a soldier who was flayed to death in the woods. Another character in the film with a similar fate was “Hawkins”.

Detective Wheeler and elle Holloway- from silent Hill franchise. Another ref mentioned by the Duffers. Holloway was the surname of st's Heather. Elle (is el) and Wheeler is Mike's surname. Wheeler was also on the ep of twiglight zone (another cited ref by the duffers) . In the ep 'mute' sheriff wheeler takes in a mute psychic girl as his foster daughter. So some hints at hopper too . Hopper even mentions el-anor (gilipse) in s1. The surname of a main character in the silent hill series.Lt. Colonel Sullivan (s4) could be a eastergg of silent hill 4 which had a Sullivan character.

Henderson- st twitter mentioned how all the bond films were on the s4 inspiration list . So Dustin's surname being the same as one of the bond characters is a nod. Duffers also mentioned ‘freaks & geeks’ as inspo- and 1 character’s surname was also Henderson (another nod).

Mrs Driscoll (from s3) - a nod to invasion of the body snatchers which was mentioned as inspo by the Duffers. And clear inspo for s3.

Powell (cop and partner of hopper ) - diehard films also on s4 list. He's named after the cop powell.

Callahan (cop and partner of Hopper) - father Callahan ref. He shows up in many of Stephen King novels. The Duffers have cited over 10 novels and books from him as inspo for st

Nancy- she's called ‘Nancy drew’ (from the novels). And the duffers have mentioned they are fans of elmstreet - who's main character was Nancy. Nancy also references 'Oliver twist" ,and that book has a character named Nancy in it. Nancy was also a first Lady in the 80s similar to her friend Barbara- who was also a first Lady in the 80s.Nancy's name might also be inspired by "Nancy Wheeler", a secondary character in the 1970 book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret written by Judy Blume.

Fred (s4)- apparently a high-school journalist who may be friend or foe. This one is a stretch but given nancy maybe being an elmstreet ref- and her enemy being fred-die kreuger. Fred may have animosity to Nancy and that's why his name is Fred. I mean ... they even cast a new s4 character with Freddie kreuger's original actor.so...

Jason (s4) - is in the 1986 Nancy drew novel (when s4 takes place). He is similar to the duffers description. In the novel he's a rich, popular, arrogant jock and blackmailing students at the high-school . S3 even named one of its episodes after a nancy drew novel- so wouldn't surprise me.

Christie carpenter (s4/reffed in s1 by hopper)- christie is the main character in the hellraiser series (which is on the s4 st list). Carpenter is the surname of the director of 'the thing' name dropped in s3. (The flesh monster in s3 also resembles the thing) , and in s1 mr clarke watches it ,and mike has the thing movie poster in his basement.

Argyle (s4) - die hard 1-2 were on the s4 st list. And is a name of a diehard character.

Max- her name is 'mad max' like the 80s film. But since the Duffers like videogames. Her name may be a ref to max caufield from the ‘life is strange’ game as well. She has a 'never Maxine rule' similar to max in st. But the game character is similar to jonathan as she is a teen photographer and says similar words to jonathan in s1 saying she would rather watch people through a camera than interact with them.

Eddie munson (s4)- not going to lie. I have no proof of this but I immediately thought of the TV character Eddie Munster (the friendly monster ).

Possible comic book easteggs

The duffers are no stranger to comic book references. The duffers have already directly reffed xmen, wonderwoman, and green lantern. Kali's place also has a comic book ref to 'the invisibles' on the wall. While the s4 movie list mentions thor ragnock , age of ultron, and 2 batman films. Some of these refs will go over your head if you haven't read my DID theory. But a lot of this analysis will still be enjoyable. :)

Jane st ives (jane ives aka el). marvel. (jane st ives sees her dad k*ll her mom and vows revenge against him.Sort of similar to what brenner did to terry).

Stephanie harrington (Steve harrington)- 80s marvel comic. DP.7. Will DID ref. Antibody, is a medical resident who can project from his body a dark figure of himself (also called an "antibody", a word play on the medical term) that flies, can become intangible, and transfer its memories to another person by physical contact (mindflayer).  He later merges with the antibody. like how susie refs ‘wizard of earthsea’ -the novel where the young wizard Ged releases a shadow monster (said to be an ancient evil) but it turns out to be the dark aspects of his personality and the only way for the chaos to stop is to accept his darkness and merge as 1.

Barry bauman (Murray bauman) . marvel comics - Will did easteregg.Bauman lived in never ending darkness. He felt, that there was a realm outside the darkness and started to explore the entire content of his brain thus using now more than the usual 10 % .Also had telekinesis.He turned his attention to the stars in order to exact revenge on the human race which spends billions of dollars to kill each other, but wouldn't spend the mere million or so it would have cost to cure him. For his vengeance he transported the suns near our galaxy into his omnipotent brain. As the people of Earth would learn of the disappearing of the suns they would panic and feel Bauman's loneliness before he would destroy Earth.Despite the death of his physical body, Bauman's consciousness somehow survived and began hopping from body to body throughout the galaxy, his powers growing until the Star Thief was recognized as a major threat to galactic society.

Sinclair- last name of xmen rhaine.  Will Did ref. storyline Rahne Sinclair is mentally bonded to Havok against her will(Will/mf).She is subsequently manipulated by the Shadow King. Her bond with Havok causes her to act irrationally, sometimes threatening teammates, sometimes by flirting with them.  She undergoes more than one attempt to undo the bonding, with varying results. Her instability also manifests in many odd dreams, in which her identity is merged into pop culture figures. What’s funny is charlie heaton (jonathan byers) was just in an xmen movie with this Rhaine character.

Victor creel (s4)-sounds like mutant victor creed of the xmen comic. x men Mutant with ab*sive dad and poor socioeconomic background. He had a "birthday tradition" of ab*sing his young relatives on their birthdays. Which reminds me of Lonnie making jonathan cry for a week (because he forced him to k*ll a rabbit on his b-day). Not to mention Lonnie is prob coming back for Will’s b day in s4... so... the name is prob a ref to that ‘birthday tradition’. Could also be a stephen king reference -since Duffers love him. The Creel family was in sk’s book “pet cemetary’-which fun fact (the actress who plays El’s aunt is in the recent remake)!

Yuri (s4)-Yuri Topolov (Russian: Юрий Тополов) was a Soviet scientist and the first foe of the Hulk. 

Dimitri (s4)-Dmitri Bukharin was born in Kuibyshev, Russia (some sources say Moscow).  First appeared in Iron man.

Peter ballard ( s4 character) may just be a hellfire ref . since I guy with last name ballard was a double agent for the hellfire club (name of st s4 ep 1). And ballard means bald which the actor is certainly not lol. I don't think he's literally associated with hellfire but its just a ref. And because its implied in his st character summary despite working for the mental hospital-where brenner is most likely at- he's horrified by the treatment of the psych patients. So that may be where the double agent aspect would come into play.

Ian Hargrove (billy hargrove)- batman comics. had a history of mental health problems dating back to childhood, which his parents were unable to afford treatment for. His brother John hargrove tried to keep him out of trouble but Ian developed an uncanny talent for explosives (will the wise fire powers). He ends up at Archam asylum. Cough billy is Will's alter. Why he has the name billy (a nickname for William) . Jonathan in s2 mentions how he likes the writer vonnegut- who wrote slaughter house 5- the main character was Billy. Already mentioned how it connects to my did theory .

Jason carver (s4)- carver is the last name of the comic hero thunderbolt (in the flash)-the first name of thunderbolt is Will and his brother is named Lonnie. There was also a John carver in the comic.

Holland (barb's last name) last name of Swamp thing. I think its plot has quite a few s4/5 spoilers but Im not diving into it right now.

Names associated with religions or mythology 

(if you’ve read my DID theory- some themes will appear relevant in relation  WIll’s alters or to WIll’s past/tr*uma).

-‘Kali prasad".Kali  is the name of a Hindu goddess . Kali’s iconography and mythology commonly associate her with death,  violence, s*xuality, but also paradoxically -motherly love. In myths ‘she only k*lls demons’ and is described as  ‘overflowing with incomprehensible love for her children’ - (aka ST’s Kali k*lling people from hawkins lab for hurting kids). Her third eye stands for wisdom (like Will the wise).Kali is called at times ‘ the bright fire of truth’ (will the wise/fire powers).The devotee makes her image in his heart and under her influence burns away all limitations and ignorance in the cremation fires. This inner cremation fire in the heart is the gyanagni (fire of knowledge), which kali bestows (cough Will the wise-fire powers). The goddess also could create a darkcloud of lightning (similar to the mf). The phrase “brilliant as a dark cloud” is a snippet of one such prayer dedicated to Kali.The name Kali is derived from the Hindu word that means “time”. Kali receives her name because she devours ‘kala’ (Time)- like clocks ticking when El sees demogorgan/clock being wonky when Will see mf/clocks in s4 promos.’ After devouring time she resumes her own dark formlessness. “This transformative effect can be metaphorically illustrated in the West as a black hole in space” (cough mf cough hopper blackhole/time refs). Kali’s s2 butterfly-“Kali is the Hindu goddess associated with eternal energy. ... The cocoon, butterfly and the karmic golden wheel reflect Her deep connection with life.”And Prasād (her last name) is a material substance that is a religious offering to gods in  Hinduism .

-While, EL is the name of a Cannanite (male) god associated with “salt water “ (pool filled with salt in s1) who “dwelled in a tent” (in s1 Mike’s blanket fort) .And his gray-beard was described as " "full of wisdom.” él’  in Spanish means ‘he’- which could be a nod at her ( androgynous) presentation in s1. El can also be translated to "God" or 'god'. The el character has various mythologies depending on which culture/ religion is using the term 'el'. In the post-biblical period, "el" became a regular element in the names of angels such as "Gabri·el," "Micha·el," and "Azri·el," to denote their status as divine beings.And Jane translates to " Yahweh (god) is gracious/merciful". The cannanite god El was also dubbed “Compassionate God of Mercy.”  Earlier, a ninth century B.C.E. inscription  identifies Ēl- the name of the Babylonian water god Ea, lord of the watery subterranean abyss (cough watery  dark void in st). Terry (el’s mom-aka Teressa) was originally used in the Middle Ages for a “child baptized in holy water” (El in the sensory water tank/Terry used it too,according to Becky in s1). Eleanor (called this in s1)- can mean "sun ray" (possible the opposite of the ‘shadow monster’ or Kali who can represent a “black hole”). 

-Will-the s4 st movie lists (‘red dragon’, gods of monsters, & ‘blade runner’ ) mention the artist and writer William Blake  (specifically his painting of the angel michael fighting a dragon in revelations - reffed in st s1). He was one of many painters part of the exhibition of “ The World Turned Upside Down: Apocalyptic Imagery.”The World Turned Upside Down explores the myriad ways that artists in England visualized the apocalypse in a period fraught with political, religious, economic, and cultural change. 

During this period Blake was commissioned to create over a hundred paintings intended to illustrate books of the Bible along with revelations .  He also drew illustrations for the novel Dante’s inferno. Blake’s brutally satirizes oppressive authority in church and state.He said those who proclaim restrictive moral rules and oppressive laws as “goodness” are in themselves evil. Hence to counteract this repression, Blake announces that he is of the “Devil’s Party” (cough hellfire club ref-and dissing the satanic panic of the hellfire club and other marginilised groups) . He also says “men forgot that All deities reside in the human breast.” So Instead of looking for God on remote altars, Blake warns, man should look within.He produced a diverse and symbolically rich œuvre, which embraced the “imagination as “the body of God.” He wrote his own stories based on biblical writings- one includes the fire wielding character of Los (will the wise) who represented jesus. Los (like jesus does in revelations) causes the destruction of the world and the second judgment unfolds. The poem ends with Los’s unfallen state rising up and shepherding in science and removing the dark religions. I also talked about  how this story ‘book of los’ hints at the DID theory-but this is getting long-so you can just read the explanation here if interested. Also, hellooo Both names are William B(yers/lake). Billy (a alter of Will-sharing the name William) in s3 he even wore “lady of pillar” medallion- i.e about jesus/mary.

JOHN (supposedly Jesus’ blood relative- who wrote ‘revelations’.) In scripture John was called “the disciple whom Jesus loved as a brother” .Fire is the most typical element associated with the Saint John's Eve celebration (Jonathan did light the demogorgan on fire). Many scholars consider John & Jesus ("apocalyptic prophets"). Jonathan itself translates to " yahweh (god ) has given" in Hebrew.

Michael- Similar to kali, he’s a religious figure known for killing demons. He’s the arch-angel from the book of revelations (Apocalypse). A evil Beast (with seven heads usually translated to ‘satan’ or ‘dragon’) appears .“it was a 7″ causes Will to be attacked by the demogorgan ( which in d&d is a demon with multiple heads). The Archangel MICHAEL fought and defeated this 7 headed beast/satan. Corresponding with Mike at the end of s1 writing a fictional d&d story for Will (based off defeating the demogorgan) which was about helping kill a 7 HEADED MONSTER! Michael is also the archangel who oversees on Earth the natural element of fire (Mike telling Will the wise to use ‘fireball’ to defeat this same 7 headed monster in the game, at the end of s1)! Ironically though Jesus /Christian god is also associated with 7s a lot (he has 7 angels and during the apocalypse causes 7 plagues , he has 7 candles etc .)cause the number seven, represented ‘perfection’ according to ancient numerology . Will’s b day is March 22- (3) +2+2 =7 (“it was a 7”). Will’s bday even falls in what christians call “the holy week”( the week immediately preceding Easter.)  At the end of s1 they even defeat this 7 headed monster because Will rolls a 14 (which can be broken down into two 7s). Michael & William also have 7 letters in each of their names respectively- equating to this 14. This dragon biblical story (of Michael) is also William blake’s most popular painting. Also, random fact in revelations god has a rainbow throne (with thunder /lightning -will the wise powers- coming from the throne, and seven lit torches next to it ) . He also wears a rainbow halo. Lol. Michael also roughly translates to  ( 'Who like el?' The answer being roughly translated to ' no one like el' ... which i mean literally is saying there is no one similar to her. But I still think its a linguistic pun/ burn that Mike is not actually into El romantically).

Jim (James) hopper- According to the s3 script Hopper’s real name is James. JAMES (JIM) was an apostle to jesus- brother of john. And in the bible was called a ’son of thunder ’. Will’s powers/ hopper being an alter of Will's so technically brother of jonathan and thunder powers. Not to mention David on Instagram saying hopper has " he has risen. like bread" is a Jesus ref to 'he has risen"... even the bread ref could be a catholic ref to the last supper.

  Martin Brenner/marsha holland-  have their first name reference the roman god Mars who was originally a ‘thunder or storm deity’ (will the wise/mf powers). EL (in cannanite mythology) also allowed Baal the storm god to rule the entire earth.

ROBIN- was the God of Thunder’s- Thor’s- favorite bird. And Dustin also means ‘Thor’s stone.’The red belly robin is also an important bird in Christianity. Legend has it that the robin got its red belly from a fire in which it was trying to protect Jesus. Robin also name drops the greek god prometheus- the god of fire (will the wise) who brought human beings life and knowledge. And Steve looks at Robin and says "let there be light" a biblical passage. The robin represents selflessness for a higher truth. 

Barb- Saint BARBara- dad kept her locked away from the outside world (like el/brenner) . He tried to k*ll her when he learned she didn’t believe in his religion- so the dad was punished by “god” who electrocuted him with lightning/lit him on fire. (Will the wise powers).

Nancy- is derived from a medieval diminutive of Annis, an English form of Agnes.  There’s the christian saint Agnes- who was beautiful and from a wealthy family. She was the Christian saint of girls and v*rginity . And the duffers subverted this along with the problematic horror movie trope of the ' v*rgin female heroine surviving while her more se*ually liberated female friends are punished by the villain' ( by having her survive specifically because she decided to have s*x).Agnes was also led out and bound to a stake, but (allegedly) the bundle of wood would not burn, or the flames parted away from her (will the wise fire powers). Also people claimed that any man who tried to r*pe her was struck blind.

Hopper's wife’s name -Dianne- is also the roman goddess of ,nature, hunting and wild animals( and greek equivalent to Artemis) .Becky  means ‘snare’ -for hunting animals .Teressa (Terry) means ' huntress'.  The name was originally used in the Middle Ages for a child baptized in holy water . Name of 2 saints-Teresa of Avila and Therese of Lisieux. Lonnie’s gf (Cynthia) was originally an epithet of the Greek goddess Artemis, as well.

Power couple Angela & jake (s4) - Angela means 'messenger of God". And Jake (also means ”supplanter”) is derived from jacob. Jacob was the son of Isaac and Rebecca in genesis. El’s aunt,Becky (Rebecca) is wife of isaac.Other theories claim that Jacob is in fact derived from a hypothetical name like יַעֲקֹבְאֵל (Ya'aqov'el) meaning "may God protect".The name jacob is also where the names James/jim is derived from.

couple Steve spies on in s3- Anna Jacobi & Mark Lewinsky. Anna ( name of the mother of the Virgin Mary) Jacobi ("he who supplants"-aka same meaning as jim since both names are derived from jacob). Mark (”the god mars”-same meaning as martin brenner) .Lewinsky (lion-same name meaning as Lonnie). Also derived from the Hebrew root לוי‎ (leví, “priest”)

Joyce means "lord". Could also be a ref to the ('unofficial') saint Joyce who gave up wealth to live in poverty.

Ted-is the short form of the names Theodore and Edward. Theodore is a Greek name meaning "gift of God", Edward has an English origin and means "wealthy guard." Eddie (from s4) also means ‘wealthy guard”

Holly (nancy and Mike's sis)- Holly meanings are 'One who is pious' or 'sacred'

Karen- can be short for Katherine-one of the first christian saints.”Saint Katherine of the Wheel “(er). A 4th century martyr who suffered t*rture on a spiked wheel.  Wheeler does mean ‘occupational name for a maker of wheels’ after all. 

Gospel of LUKE (lucas?) , or simply Luke, tells of the origins, birth, ministry, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ.

Sinclair- Catholic saint of computers and TV screens (i mean... he is in the av club).

MAXimilian was deemed a saint in the 1980s- saint of journalists and radios. (Both aspects of s3)

Saint stephen/steven ( STEVE)-an early disciple and deacon . Considered one of the first m*rtyrs of the church.Stephen is first mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles as one of seven deacons appointed by the Apostles to distribute food (lol icecream) .According to Orthodox belief, he was the eldest and is therefore called “archdeacon”.

Sara- Her name is a feminine form of sar (Hebrew: שַׂר‎), meaning “chieftain” or “prince."  She was the wife and sister of Abraham (ew -given her being an alter of Will though, such a name doesn’t surprise me). Similar to st Barabara’s dad - Abraham tried to k*ll his son isaac in the name of god. Becky (El's aunt) - is derived from Rebecca - wife of Isaac.

Claudia (Dustin's mom)- Christian woman of Rome greeted by Paul in his second letter to Timothy (in the bible).

Sam mayfield (max's dad) -  Short for Samuel or Samantha, from the Biblical name Shemu'el, which means "God has heard", from the Hebrew shama, meaning "heard" and el, meaning "God". Samuel is rumored to be argyle first name.

Marsha Kelly (s4)- Kelly means "frequents churches" or " bright headed". Given she's a counselor the bright headed pun makes sense. But maybe she's not to be trusted if she frequents churches during a satanic panic arc which was fueled by Christian religious extremism . Or she's someone who contrasts the rest of the religious people in town since she's not originally from hawkins...who knows. x files’ main character was catholic but in one ep she criticized a small town for the satanic panic occurring-and says how accusing these kids who listen to rock as satanic or being k*llers is ludicrous.

Peter ballard (s4) - Peter was also the name of an apostle. 

Tina (side character s2)- like christy (s4) it’s short for Christina which translates to "follower of christ" or 'stream'. Tina was the gal who hosted the t halloween party and also the name of one of Erica’s friends in s3.

Samantha (goth girl jonathan talks to in s2 party) translates to "told by god".

Tommy (s1-2) "God's gift" or "twin".Thomas is the Greek variation of the Aramaic name Ta’oma’. It came about because there were too many apostles named Judas; Jesus renamed one Thomas—meaning "twin"—to distinguish him from Judas Iscariot and the Judas also known as Thaddeus.

carol (tommy’s gf)- Carol is the short form of Caroline and the meaning is derived from the English vocabulary word for “song” or “hymn". A hymn being a religious song or poem.

Benny ( who helped El at his dinner) - originally derived from latin bennedictus which means "blessed"

Stacey (s2-3 ) rejected dustin at dance. Stacey- "resurrection "

Grigori (the guy following and tracking hopper, Joyce, and alexi)- The name was adopted by early Christians heedful of the Biblical passage located in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober-minded; be watchful."grigory now means 'watchful and vigalent'

Alexi- prob based on the russian folklore story of alexy. A clever priest's son who tricks a dragon.

Harrington- similar to Robin's religious animal iconography. Harrington means 'he goat'.The most popular image of the Satanic goat dates back to the ever-mysterious Knights of Templar, who were accused of worshipping an idol known as Baphomet (a 1/2 human 1/2 goat man). Roman Catholic society decried it as a demon that demanded human sacrifice — but it would take a few more centuries before the goat became a truly occult symbol.Anton Lavey adopted Baphomet as the sigil of the Church of Satan in 1966, and it has appeared on countless metal album covers. But, Baphomet isn't the lone source of inspiration for our goat-like depictions of Satan.it's also believed that early Christians, seeking to demonize preexisting Pagan traditions, drew comparisons between the Devil and the Greek god Pan (god of nature), who happened to resemble a goat.Some cited how in revelations- during the apocalypse- Jesus separates the 'lambs from the goats'. ( supposedly Good vs bad)

Given the fact s3 alluded to the satanic panic. A Christian movement in the 80s that demonized and said d&d ,rock music, homosexuality, other religions, stephen King,horror films, wearing black,and non conservative ideology were 'satanic.' I wouldn't be surprised by this possible ref. Heck even William Blake criticized similar religious movements in his own time period. Several movies from the s4 list allude to this. The most obvious being the documentary paradise lost (named after the fictional retelling of satan/adam and eve story) - the documentary directly focuses on a witch hunt of rock loving teens (wrongfully accused of m*rders) in a small town during the satanic panic. Not to mention ironically s4 is hinted to be around easter. So Using such symbolism to address religious fundamentalism and the bigotry/hysteria it can cause isn't surprising. No i’m not lumping all religious people into this negative category- obviously.

Other Names with similar definitions

*Hunting /forests woods, nature, animals

Hunters and people in forrests

name meaning : becky - snare (a trap for catching birds or animals). Teressa-huntress. Dianne/Cynthia (Hopper’s ex wife/Lonnie’s gf) - is a roman/greek goddess of hunting and wild animals.  Rhadaghast- Will's password for cb is a lothr wizard who protects forests/wildlife.martin/marsha- previously god of agriculture/plants.As an agricultural guardian, he was believed to directed his energies toward creating conditions that allow crops to grow, which may include warding off hostile forces of nature (pumpkins rotting in s2). El in phoenician culture was called Elus and its Greek equivalent Cronus (god of agriculture) steve- he goat- associated with pan- god of fields, groves, wooded glens . brenner- ‘someone who cleared forests by burning’. the blond women, Brenner worked with,  Fraizer-  “of the forrest men”

* FUN FACT: Kali’s name originally was going to be ‘Roman’ (which is derived from Romulus-the son of Mars... aka Martin Brenner) .

Trees

Ives and owens- ives means 'yew wood' while Owen means 'yew tree. ' bauman- nickname for someone who lived near a tree.comes from the German word "baum," or "boum" in Middle High and Old German, meaning "tree’. Jennifer hayes- Jennifer  derived from Old English words "jenefer", "genefer" and "jinifer", all of which were variants of Juniper used to describe the juniper tree.Lonnie means "oak tree; or lion". Lion plushie in cb and the lion el has along with the tree establishes a connection between all 3 maybe? Oak groves were especially sacred to  the goddess dianna too. Buckley (it has many different translations) - Old English "boch ley" (with boch meaning beech tree and ley meaning wood, glade or clearing).

Nature

buckley if translated from "bok lee," means meadow, or field. mayfield- open country (field) where madder (mæddre) grows. Holland- wood land, Bruce (who was also possessed) - means WILLow lands . Keith (s2-3) : woods or forrest.Hargrove- meadow filled with rabbits (Jonathan’s hunting story).Holloway is a topographic surname, which was given to a person who resided near a physical feature such as a hill, stream, or type of tree. Tina means 'river' . Burness (guy who claimed he jumped into quarry)-stream. Neil- cloud. Lowe (Bruce's last name)-This surname is derived from a geographical locality 'at the low,' i.e. the hill. Hayes means "hedged area'.

Flowers

Flo (hopper's secretary)- means flower. Suzie-  lily flower. Susan (Max’s mom)- means lily, lotus flower or rose. Karen (in Japanese can mean)- flower, lotus, or water lily. Heather is also a variety of small shrubs with pink or white flowers which commonly grow in rocky areas.  Erica is a type of "heather" plant. martin/marsha: in the legend of Mars,his mother become pregnant with him using a magic flower- which was given to her by the goddess flora.

Bright (aka intelligent)

Bob- nickname of Robert . Both Bob and Robert mean 'bright, shinning or fame'. Aka smart -he's called ' Bob the brain ' for a reason.

Robin- is also diminutive of Robert . And we all know robin is smart too. Being multilingual/ cracking the code.Robin (like Robert) also means 'bright, shining , or fame.'

Lucas- means "bright" or "shinning" aka he's also a smart cookie. His firework plan saving the day.

Lonnie and Larry (the mayor) can both be nicknames for Lawrence which also means ' bright one' or 'shinning one'. Well... both are cunning I'll give them that. Lonnie is unfortunately ...smart. I think this detail had other foreshadowing. Joyce to Will about Will the wise ' if he's so wise why does he need the fireballs? can't he just outsmart the bad guys? " Will: " yeah. Usually. BUT sometimes the bad guys are smart too." I never understood why on earth Joyce would be with someone as awful as Lonnie in the first place- than be with his literal opposite Bob- but maybe she just found intelligence attractive?

Names associated with thunder/lightning/fire (Like Will/mf/Will the wise)

Byers-reprsents Greek Zeus (god of thunder/lightning). Martin - references the roman god Mars who was originally a ‘thunder or storm deity’ .ROBIN- was the German God of Thunder’s- Thor’s- favorite bird. And Dustin also means ‘Thor’s stone.’Jim- “son of thunder”. Christian god- has throne (surrounded by thunder /lightning). Kali- could summon thunder storms.Nancy/Barb-both saints associated with fire. Kali-is called at times ‘ the bright fire of truth’ /and bestows the fire of knowledge. Robin also name drops the greek god prometheus- the god of fire. Mars -the keeper of Rome's perpetual flame . The Robin bird in a Christian story myth protects Jesus from hell's fire. William Blake- wrote about a fire wielding character of Los who represented jesus. Jesus during end times wields fire. Michael is the archangel who oversees on Earth the natural element of fire. Fire is the most typical element associated with the Saint John's Eve celebration (Saint John- called Jesus’s brother).

Animals (and their symbolism)

Byers- means ‘ cattle shed’.The Greeks considered the bull animal totem to be a symbol of Zeus (god of thunder and lighting - will the wise powers). He is the head of the gods and the almighty ruler of Olympus.  I”n hinduism, Shiva is known as Gorakhnath, means the lord of the cows.  And is also known as, Pasupathinath, the lord of all animals (similar to Rhadaghast). According to some scholars, Shiva’s association with cows and bulls might date back to the Indus Valley period. Cows have a special significance in Hinduism, as aspects of Mother Goddess and as symbols of selfless service. Mahatma Gandhi declared the protection of cows a central feature of Hinduism.Hindus worship cows as the Mother Goddess and symbol of motherhood, kindness and forbearance.”

Tigers: (Sarah’s plushie/ Hawkin’s macott/ Will & Mike have tiger posters in their rooms): The goddess Kali & God Shiva wore a tiger skin (this fact was actually mentioned by Kali in the prequel novel ‘suspicious minds’ ).”In many tribal traditions of India, the tiger (or lion) is worshipped as a god. In some Hindu hymns the domestic fires are compared to the tigers that guard the house.Tigers also figure prominently in many Indian folk-tales, Jataka-stories, and the Panchatantra.”

Lions:(Lonnie means ‘lion’ and el and Will have matching lion plushies)- In the Bible, the lion has two opposite meanings: it is compared to the Devil (1 Pet 5:8) and to Christ (Rev 5:5). Aka: Lonnie is the devil. The kids are the opposite. Nancy also compares the demogorgan to a lion. “In many tribal traditions of India, the lion is worshipped as a god.One of the ten incarnations of Vishnu is Narasimha, who has the head and shoulders of a lion, but the torso of a human.Goddess Durga, a fierce form of Parvathi or Shakti, has a golden lion as her vehicle, while Rahu, a planetary guard, rides upon a black lion as his vehicle.Lions form an important part of Hindu religious art. The face of the lion (simha-mukha) is used in images and sculpture in many Hindu temples to decorate the doors, walls, arches, and windows.The memorial pillar at Saranath  contains four beautifully carved standing lions at the top on a round abacus representing the imperial power. They now constitute the official emblem of the government of India.”

El almost k*lling a cat- “Some superstitious beliefs are also associated with cats in Hinduism. For example, killing a cat is considered a grave sin, for which one may have to offer prayers and give in charity at least seven golden images of the killed cat. “

Harrington- he goat. Buckley- has various translations. Anglo-Saxon: ‘bucc and leah’ meaning goat and wood respectively. And obviously there’s the robin-bird. And I've already discussed their symbolism. Goat= baphomet/pan. 

Robin- thor's fav bird/ helped Jesus from hell's fire.

Buckley- can also translate to " field filled with deer" (like the deer attacked by the demogrogan or the bambi film jon reffed in relation to the hunting story about lonnie).And Karen ( when from it’s Hebrew origins) can mean- antler or horn. Also the caananite God el was usually depicted with animal horns on his head.Diana in Roman art usually is accompanied by a hound (demo dog) or deer.  Because of the story of her turning an attempted r*pist-hunter into a deer/ and then causing dogs to attack him.  Deer is also one of the symbolic animals accepted since early Christianity as an allegory of Jesus Christ and the Christian Disciple. And when associated with Shiva (kali's husband) in Hindu iconography, the deer omen denotes sovereignty over nature and symbolizes the lord of all animals, humans, and the King of the Forest. In many visual and written illustrations, human beings and deer appear as close companions and in some cases, humans adopt the face or antlers of a deer, in images more common in stories of human strife. Deer also have a supernatural significance and appear as apparitions of divinity and in legends of spiritual awakening.

Hargrove- meadow filled with rabbits (like the rabbit lonnie made jonathan k*ll.) Hopper sounds like thumper the rabbit- which jonathan mentions in relation to bunnies . And ... idk... Hopper did make that pun in s3 about bunnies to Larry (lawerence) ? We also have rabbit refs elsewhere like with- el in Benny's. They play the song 'white rabbit' a song referencing Alice in wonderland and in el's room at Terry's house is the white rabbit from that story. Also paralleling to jonathan- el was almost made to k*ll a cat by her father (Cheshire cat aka Alice in wonderland ref + cats are associated with magic powers/witch craft).In Celtic folklore, the rabbit is seen as a supernatural being from the Otherworld.The rabbit symbolism in Christianity has found its way through the Germanic deity Eostre from which the name Easter came to be (s4 will most likely have the Easter holliday).One tale describes the rabbit as the pet of Jesus Christ. And rabbits were often inserted into art of jesus' mother .

Creel- basket or container of fish.fish is taken as symbolizing Christ’s faith, charity, and abundance. A biblical story goes how Christ fed his disciples with 2 fishes and called them “fishers of men.”  The Christians made an acrostic from the Greek word for fish, “ichthys” as early as the first century and it is, “Iesous Christos Theou Yios Soter”, meaning Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.

Names hinting at character traits (which are very literal)

Mr clarke (science teacher)- clarke means 'scholar'

Dottie (in kali's gang)- she was in an insane asylum . And ‘Dotty’ is a very old British slang term  for 'crazy'

War (usually relates to ‘villains’)

Troy- means ' foot soldier'. Martin brenner: Martin means 'war like'. Lonnie is diminutive of Alonzo or Lawrence. Alonzo means 'ready for battle'.

In contrast to Lonnie, Will can mean "desiring peace. " Axel  who is part of Kali’s crew (who i think Will created along with others ) even means "father is peace."

Twin

Tom (Heather's dad) and Tommy mean ‘twin’. Robin's crush Tammy ('twin') Thompson ( 'son of tom’).

* Besides similar/identical name meanings.There’s also a lot of other repeated names that go into this whole twin/mirror imagery which i find strange... makes me wonder about @strangertheory ‘s version of the did theory. If not...maybe it’s just a allusion to the whole Will vs Will the wise arc (possibly) coming up?

Jennifer hayes (popular girl) & Jen (Mr clarke’s gf). Tina (highschool gal) & Tina- erica’s friend- Tina & christy are also nicknames of christina (s4 character). Susie (dustin’s gf) & susan (max’s mom). Sam (max’s dad) and Samantha (girl at party)/ samuel (possibly argyle). Billy Hargrove, Bill (dianne’s new huband),  and Will-all being nicknames for William. Robin & Bob-nicknames for Robert. Lonnie & Larry-nicknames for Lawerence. Ted  & Eddie being nicknames for Edward.James (Will’s bully), Jim Hopper (real name James), jacobi, and jason- all 4 are derived from jacob . Marsha Holland (barb’s mom) and marsha kelly (therapist s4)/martin relate to mars. Tom (reporter), tommy (highschooler), thompson (other highschooler).

it’s definitely peculiar to repeat names like this in a story. Unless it means ...something... I talked about how David was mentioning alot of doppelganger/twin imagery recently-here. So the name mirroring could just be an allusion to the Will/WW arc coming up ...possibly?

#will byers #mike wheeler #el hopper #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #jim hopper #steve harrington #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #murray bauman #robin buckley #byler #kali prasad #martin brenner #lonnie byers #stranger things #stranger things theory #billy hargrove

[kaimelia]

Would you write a story about Addison, Henry and Jake visiting Amelia for a few days and Ellis or Bailey or Zola being really jealous of Henry and that he calls her Aunty Amelia because she's their aunt and not his.

Homage

a/n: hi! thank you for the prompt and I hope you enjoy this!

---------------

"Who the hell is knocking on our door at 9 AM?" Amelia groaned, shifting her son onto her other hip. "Are your parents coming to visit again?" Link shrugged and pushed past her gently, rubbing his tired eyes as he opened the door and pulled on a mask.

"Hello-oh," Link's eyebrows rose, and Amelia paused from in the kitchen.

"Who is it?" She waited for a minute, pouring cereal into a bowl and placing it in front of Ellis at the table. "Elle, go grab the milk," she muttered, rushing towards the door.

"Amelia!" Her eyes widened at the familiar face in the doorway, and before she could think, she was rushing towards Addison for a hug.

"Addie, what the hell are you doing here? Oh, crap," Amelia pulled away and grabbed a mask from the table by the door.

"We all got tested this morning, don't worry. I came to visit you! You can't just have a baby and not expect me to visit; god, he's so adorable!" The red-headed woman held her arms out and grabbed Scout, immediately pressing her nose to his head. "I miss having a baby; their heads smell so amazing." Link laughed softly and pulled his mask off.

"Oh, Addie, you haven't met Link yet," Amelia leaned into his body, wide grins across both of their faces as he wrapped his arm around her.

"We've met over the phone, Amy."

"Amelia."

"Right, sorry. I knew if I called, you would've said no, and we all needed a vacation." Addison bounced her nephew up and down, smiling as he grabbed at her necklace.

"Is someone else here? You said we all," Amelia muttered under her breath, stepping out onto the porch. "Jake!" She ran down the steps and into the driveway, grinning as she wrapped her arms around her friend's neck.

"It's good to see you, Amelia," he opened the door to reveal Amelia's godson, much bigger than the last time she'd seen him.

"Henry! You're so big, now!" She picked him up, placing a kiss on his cheek before setting him down.

"I'll be honest; I never thought I would see the day when Amelia Shepherd was chasing four kids around all day," Jake mused, taking his son's hand. Amelia grinned.

"Neither did I, if I'm honest." They walked back up to the porch, where Link and Jake shook each other's hands firmly, their partners both rolling their eyes at the sight of their seriousness. "Okay, are you done?" Amelia grabbed her boyfriend's arm. "There are three very impatient kids in that house, and we should probably get back in there." They led Addison, Jake, and Henry into the house, introducing each of them to the children. Eventually, Link and Jake led all of the children outside, leaving Addison and Amelia alone with the baby.

"I like him," Addison brought her mug of tea up to her lips, taking a sip slowly before continuing. "Link, he seems like the perfect guy. Awfully tall, though."

"He is. Both tall and perfect," Amelia grinned. "I'm waiting for Jake to come back in here and tell me what he thinks. He was always a little overprotective of who I was dating, so if he can get past Jake, everything's fine." The neurosurgeon lifted her son from his play mat, holding him close to her as she approached her sister again.

"He looks exactly like Derek when he was a baby."

"You think?" Addison nodded.

"Mhm. I spent far too much time in your mother's house panning through dusty photo albums and staring at photos of him as a baby to not see it." She set her mug down, holding her arms out. "Have you told your Mom?"

"I did. She said she'd come and visit after the pandemic is over, but I'm pretty sure that'll never happen," Amelia handed Scout to her sister, picking up her own cup of tea. "I'm fine with it. Link's parents are both great, and his Mom honestly treats me like the daughter she's never had, so I don't need my Mom to come out here and validate all of my life decisions."

"You want her here. I said the same thing for a while, telling myself I didn't need Bizzy to approve of anything, but it feels good to have the support." Amelia sighed, easing her empty mug into the kitchen sink.

"So, you just showed up here to therapist me? I would've told you to at least bring Violet for that."

"Amelia, I'm just saying. You've built this whole life for yourself, the perfect boyfriend, your own family, your dream job, and I know you haven't always been close with your biological family."

"Haven't ever been close," Amelia muttered.

"Still. That doesn't mean that you can't build relationships with them. Think about how spoiled Scout would get on every birthday and holiday; gifts from his grandparents, aunts, cousins, friends, parents, everyone." The neurosurgeon shrugged her shoulders and remained silent. "But, whatever happens, you know I'll be here for you, right?"

"You don't have to try and parent me anymore; you know that?" Addison began to pace around the kitchen space, bouncing Scout up and down to calm his light fussing.

"I still feel protective over you, Amelia. I haven't seen you in person in years, and we both know that talking over the phone is so much different than being able to see you. I'm going to be coming up here a lot more often now; I have Scout as an excuse to come and visit." Scout cooed at the sound of his name, placing his tiny hand on Addison's face. "He's way too adorable for me to see all of his life through a screen. I'll be coming up at least three times a year."

"You've gotta bring Henry every time, too," Amelia looked outside, where her boyfriend was chasing her godson around the yard. "And Jake. I missed all of you; maybe Link and I will start coming down to L.A. a few times a year. He'd love to go surfing."

"Mm, maybe you two should just move down there." Amelia rolled her eyes.

"Well, if Meredith doesn't get better, Link and I get custody of the kids, and I doubt we'd be moving if that happens."

"For whatever it's worth, you're doing an incredible job with all of them. Having a newborn is no joke, and you're parenting three other kids during a pandemic on top of that? Charlotte keeps saying it's your payback for teasing her about the triplets." The door opened, and Link walked through with Ellis on his back, her giggles causing everyone to smile.

"Someone took a nasty fall, but we thought it would be better with a juice box," he walked towards the fridge and opened it, leaning down so Ellis could grab a juice box from the refrigerator.

"Auntie Amelia?" She looked over to see Henry standing in the doorway. "Can Scout come outside to play with us?" Amelia grinned and took Scout from her sister, walking over to where Henry was standing.

"You have to be super gentle with him," she whispered, leading Henry back outside. "Why don't I give Scout to your Dad, and he can make sure that everyone's being safe, okay?" Henry nodded enthusiastically and ran over to his father, tugging at the leg of his pants as Jake took Scout. "If he fusses, just walk around. The movement calms him down."

"Are you all gonna come back outside or just pawn off all the children on me?" Amelia laughed and crossed her arms over her chest, watching as her son snuggled into Jake's body.

"I'll go get Addison and Link," she muttered, heading back over to the door and calling for them.

"Auntie Amelia? I have a question," Ellis whispered, holding her arms up to her aunt. Amelia lifted her and sat down at the picnic table.

"What is it, Elle?"

"Why does Henry call you Auntie Amelia? You're my Auntie Amelia, not his." She shook her head in amusement, brushing back some of Ellis' blonde hair.

"Well, Addison is my sister too, just like your Mom is, so I'm Henry's Auntie, too." Ellis pouted her lip out.

"But you love me more, right?"

"I love you all, Elle; I don't love one of you more than the other." Amelia began to braid her niece's hair as she spoke, Ellis' eyes falling to where Link was playing with Henry and Bailey. "You're my niece, and Henry is my nephew. Just like I'm your aunt, and Maggie is also your aunt. That doesn't mean that you love one of us more,"

"You're my favorite Auntie." Amelia laughed softly, biting her lip to hide the satisfaction she felt.

"Well, I don't have a favorite. I love all of you, but I'm excited to see Henry right now because I never get to see him. I get to see you every day, Elle." The brunette tied a hairband around her niece's hair and hugged the girl lightly before standing up. "Let's go play with them, okay?" Ellis took her hand, and they walked over to the playscape, where Ellis quickly scampered up the ladder to the top of the structure. "How long are you staying?" She asked Jake as he paced around the lawn, bouncing Scout up and down.

"We're up here for a week. Figured we'd spend some time with you, go up to Mount Rainier, just do anything to give Henry a change of scenery." He moved to stand next to Amelia. "I like Link. He seems good, more relaxed than I expected for someone you'd be dating." Her mouth fell open before quickly turning up into a smirk.

"Hey, I haven't managed to corrupt him yet. I'm sure next time you come to visit, he’ll be a pessimist."

"Are you happy? Because last time I saw you, this was the life you didn't want to live. Every time someone brought out a baby, you'd practically gag and complain about women and babies."

"You know, I never thought I wanted this, but honestly? I wouldn't trade it for anything." She looked over at her son, his bright blue eyes staring back at her. "I'm happy, Jake. I really am."

#amelia shepherd #amelia x link #amelink fanfiction #atticus lincoln #amelink #grey's anatomy #amelink fanfic #greys abc #greys fanfic #scout lincoln #scout shepherd lincoln #addison montgomery #jake reilly #henry montgomery #private practice #my fics

[gubes-sweaters]

Mind, Body, and Soul 5

Authors note: Hey, so it's been a while oops. I’ve been writing one-shots in between writing chapters 4 and 5 only because I wasn’t sure where to take this series, but I’ve figured it out and now I’m back. I still have 3 or 4 one-shots written that still need to be edited. This chapter has a couple of switches of the POV. Sorry if it’s a little confusing, but it’s the easiest way to write the story. Also, I know Gideon and Rossi didn’t work together in the early season, but I’m changing it. I realize the TL of a lot of the members is off, but it’s all intentional for the story.

Content warning: Nothing I can think of, but don’t be afraid to tell me about a warning I should put in.

Word count: 2.7k

Chapter 5: New Member of the BAU

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

I shift under Spencer's grip trying to reach my phone as it's ringing. He’s such a heavy sleeper that by the time I wiggled out from his arms and grabbed my phone he was still sleeping. He just rolled over before snoring very quietly. I look at my phone and see it's my dad! Shit, I was supposed to meet with my dad at ten today and it's already eleven. I'm not even ready this is such a disaster, what am I supposed to tell him? Oh, don’t worry dad I’m just busy because I’m in the back of this guy’s car and I slept through my alarm! He’s going to kill me because I'm supposed to meet some of my dad’s work friends then go out to lunch with him.

“Ciao papà,” I say trying to sound like I'm awake. He can probably see through my bullshit though because I'm a shitty liar, and he's a profiler.

“Where's my bambino and why isn't she at the BAU right now? My colleagues want to meet you.”

“Sorry, I spent all night studying and I must've slept through my alarm I'll be there as soon as possible,” I technically lie to him I did sleep through my alarm.

“Okay...well, I love you. I have a security badge ready for you. All you have to do is tell security who you are and you're here to see me,” He's clearly not convinced but I don't think he cares enough to press the issue.

“Okay, love you too. Bye!” I hang up then turn to Spencer trying to wake him up.

I shake him over and over until he finally stirs. Seriously how the hell does he sleep so heavy. Once I get him up I explain that I’m supposed to have lunch with my dad and I’m supposed to meet his coworkers now that he’s coming out of retirement for whatever reason.

“Okay, yeah give me a second to clean up the back, and we can take you back to your apartment,” He says while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Thanks,” I say before planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He blushes at me before signaling for me to hop out of the trunk. We make a collaborative effort to clean out the trunk and sit the back seats back up. We then get in the front and make small talk on the way back to my apartment. Once we arrive I feel that pit in my stomach again, the same one I feel every time one of us has to leave.

“Thanks for yesterday!” I say before turning to open the car door with the bear we made yesterday. When I asked who's keeping the bear he jokingly said we’ll split custody and I guess this is my week. Before I could open the car door he placed his hand on my forearm very gently like I was made out of glass. He has this pained and disappointed look on his face.

“Can I see you again?” He asks just barely above a whisper.

I just respond with a nod and a quick kiss before I hop out of the car and wave goodbye. All I see is a wide grin on his face and a wave before I disappear into my apartment building. I knew Stella and Raven weren’t home because neither of their cars was in the parking lot. That meant I could get ready quickly and slip out of the apartment without any questions being asked.

I set the stuffed bear on the bed and begin getting ready. After I shower, dry my hair, brush my teeth, apply a small bit of makeup, and slip on a sweater and jeans I’m finally ready to leave. It’s only one pm, so I'm not making a horrible time given that I was already late. I then practically drive like a mad man to the BAU. I stop at security and tell them I’m here for my dad David Rossi. I get directions to the floor and where my dad’s new office is. I walk into the bullpen and see two very familiar and comforting faces, but the others belong to complete strangers. I immediately spot my dad’s old partner Jason Gideon and the Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner. I met them both when I was in middle school, but the rest of the team was new to me and my dad as well. He’s been there for a couple of months since his book tour was just now ending. As soon as Gideon sees me he walks towards me with his arms outstretched.

“Hey kiddo it’s been a long time. I may be getting old, but I’ll never forget that face.” He says while engulfing me in a hug. Honestly, I talked to Gideon probably more than my dad growing up. This is odd because he didn’t have the best relationship with his own son, but he was always like a cool uncle. Then the same click happened to me and Aaron Hotchner when we first met. He always wanted kids and some of the only times you would see him smile and laugh was around kids. He and his wife Haley jokingly called me their test run when I would spend time with them. When my mom and dad were both busy I spent a lot of time with Haley because I didn’t want to be with a nanny.

“Hey, guys!” I say before hugging them both once more.

“So, how’s school been? You’re not getting into any trouble are you?” Uncle Jason asks before nudging me as the three of us walk towards my dad’s new office. I can see two people’s eyes on me from the bullpen then suddenly a third when a blonde woman who doesn't look much older than me comes strutting out of her office flashing me a quick smile.

“You know me, I’m David Rossi’s daughter, so I seemingly can't stay out of trouble,” I joked with them as we arrived at my dad’s new office. It had a shiny new nameplate that said “David Rossi” on the front of it. Gideon knocks and I feel a wave of nostalgia. I remember in the 6th grade visiting my dad at the BAU and walking up to my dad’s office hand in hand with Gideon. Now I’m much older and much taller, but much hasn’t changed. After a few seconds, my dad opens the door with a huge grin on his face I swear he hasn't changed since I was a kid. He still wears overly expensive suits and a watch that probably would pay a year and a half of my rent if not more.

“Ah, there she is. Oh, how I’ve missed you,” He says before eloping me in a bear hug.

“Come I want you to meet my other co-workers,” He says as the four of us walk back down the stairs where a small conglomeration of desks are.

“Everybody this is my daughter (y/n),” My dad proudly says while the three people went to introduce themselves. The first being the woman walking out of the office earlier. She is tall and blonde. She looks a little young to be a profiler though.

“Hi, I’m Jenifer Jareau, but you’re more than welcome to call me JJ. I’m the communication's liaison,” She says as she sticks her hand out for me to shake. After a woman with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes also extended her hand out to me. She was wearing a tan leather jacket with a black top beneath it and black dress pants along with tan ankle boots.

“Hi I’m Elle Greenway, it’s nice to meet you these three have been talking about you all day,” She says while gesturing towards my dad, uncle Aaron, and uncle Jason. Lastly, a tall very muscular man walks up to me with an awful lot of confidence. He’s wearing a tight heather gray t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Accompanied by his gun sitting snugly on his hip.

“Well Hello I’m Derek Morgan and you must be an angel,” He says forgetting that my dad is standing right behind me either that or he doesn't care. I shake his hand before my dad clears his throat not amused by Morgan's antics.

“Well, now that you’ve met my team it’s about time we went to lunch. Aaron don’t hesitate to call me if something pops up about that DC hacker case,” He says as we walk away and Uncle Aaron just responds with his usual very stern-looking face and a slight nod.

“DC hacker?” I ask as we exit the bullpen and make our way to the elevator.

“Let’s not talk about work. I want to know about school how are you?”

“I’m doing good I guess I've been a little distracted as of recent but I'm keeping myself on track I promise.”

“Atta girl,” He says before the elevator doors open, and he leads me out to his car.

-----Time Skip----

“So how are Raven and Stella I haven't seen them since I went to sign the lease again last year.” I can tell what he’s doing he’s making awkward small talk, so he feels like he's an integral part of my life. I appreciate the effort and I can’t shit on him too much because at least he’s making an effort. So I’ll play into this and make him feel better for the time being. I’m hoping that he doesn't feel like utter crap because we have nothing important to talk about besides this DC hacker case that I can’t get out of my mind. I haven’t talked about it since we were in the car because he clearly doesn’t want me to know anything about it since he keeps dodging my questions.

“They’re doing pretty good. I mean we don’t have any classes together this year because our majors are somewhat different, but we live together, so we're still close.”

“Oh, how's that friend you were telling me about? Penelope Garcia, that's her name right?” He asks as he leans in close to me. If I didn't know any better I would think he's shamelessly profiling me right now. We continue to talk about school and my friends throughout lunch. For someone who has such an extra and boujee person, he didn't talk about himself at all. Which is not my dad's usual behavior at all.

“Well, that's good to hear. So I was thinking after lunch maybe we-” As if God himself answered my prayers my dad's work cell starting ringing. I can hear small mumbles from the blonde woman I met earlier I believe her name was JJ. I can't exactly make out what is going on but either way, I'm taking whatever excuse I can get.

“I’m sorry sweetheart I’m going to have to cut this short that was a call from work. On the bright side, I’m not going to be on my book tour anymore, so whenever I have a day off we can spend time together.”

“Of course!” I say trying to humor him.

“Well, I’ll drop you back off at the FBI building.” He says before flagging down the waitress to pay for the check.

----Rossi’s POV----

I walk back into the FBI building after dropping (y/n) off. Aaron, Gideon, and I feel terrible for using her to get information. I feel the worst out of the three of us because I promised her after going back to the BAU this time would be different, but she's currently just another pawn in a game she didn't agree to.

“So what do we have Aaron?”

“Follow me to the round table we got all of the information needed from another technical analyst in the building Kevin Lynch.”

As Aaron and I walk into the room JJ is giving Gideon, Morgan, and Emily all of the information we need to know.

“This is Penelope Grace Garcia. She is a 28-year-old female. We didn’t have many people to contact for information on her because her birth parents are no longer alive. Her parents passed in a car accident ten years ago that was caused by a drunk driver. Since then she has seemingly lived a low profile life and has managed to stay under the radar when it comes to the justice system. We have been able to get enough evidence on her because of her close relations with David Rossi's daughter (y/n) Rossi. We are going to bring her in for questioning. She’ll likely have no prior knowledge of interrogations because she’s been able to fly under the radar. That also makes her extremely cocky, and she’ll think that we have no information on her. Our job is to be as docile yet forward as possible. We want to be docile, so she’ll trust. She has so much skill that Strauss approved for us to recruit her into the BAU. She’ll be of more use to us than she would be in jail. That’s all for now.”

As JJ finishes with the profile we all gather our things and mentally prepare ourselves for the interrogation. I was advised to stay out of it just in case she knew I was (y/n)’s father. Given the fact that she’s an elite hacker that isn’t such a farfetched statement.

-Hotch’s POV-

“You have two options either you can serve jail time or you can work for us at the BAU,” I tell her just before Morgan walks back into the room.

I have her make a quick resume, so we can hire her onto the BAU. I think she has potential and that she’s just putting up a tough front. I have to give her props though because I’ve seen grown men crumble a lot easier than her. Once we’re able to strike a deal with her I have Morgan unlock her cuffs. I make sure Morgan knows to tell her that she can’t talk about any of this with (y/n) for a while especially since the case involving her isn’t fully closed.

-(y/n) POV-

I finally make it back to my apartment when I get a text from my mom asking how lunch with my dad went. As I unlock the door to my apartment I text her back and let her know that it was okay, but dad was acting super weird. I told her it seemed like he was interrogating me. She just let me know that it’s out of habit because he’s a profiler and it’s not that big of a deal and to not read too much into it.

I feel like there was something that I had to do but I can't remember. It’s not until I check the calendar on my phone and realize Daisy’s birthday is in two days and I didn’t get her anything. I’m far too lazy to leave my apartment for a second time today which was supposed to be my day off. I also don’t want to go alone maybe I should text Spencer and see how busy he is.

Me: Hey, I have a birthday party to go to on Saturday. I still need to get her a birthday present would you mind coming with me tomorrow?

Spence: Sure, what time should I pick you up?

Me: How about 10?

Spence: Sounds good I’ll see you then :)

.

.

.

.

.

Taglist: @haylaansmi @rexorangecouny

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid au #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds smut #plug spencer #spencer reid fanfic #plug!spencer fanfiction #plug!spencer #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Supernatural OC Masterlist

Name: Ainsley Winchester

Story: Angel Born In Hell

Face claim:  Shelley Hennig

Love Interest: possible Jo Harvelle

Summary:  The middle child, Ainsley Winchester was often overlooked.  She spent half of her time arguing with her older brother, and the other half protecting her younger brother, and all of her time being tired of her dad’s pointless crusade.  But when her dad goes missing, she’s right there sitting shotgun on the way to get Sam from Stanford.  The Winchester siblings had always had a complicated relationship, but when push came to shove, Ainsley would do anything for her family.  Anything.

Name: Anna Winchester

Story: Memory

Face claim:  Kaylee Bryant

Name: Asher Milligan

Story: Don’t You Cry (No More)

Love Interest: Briony Harvelle

Face claim:  Dylan Sprayberry

Name: Belladonna

Story: Every Night Has Its Dawn

Face claim:  Zoey Deutch

Name: Briony Harvelle

Story: Don’t You Cry (No More)

Love Interest: Asher Milligan

Face claim:  Danielle Rose Russell

Summary: The first time Briony Harvelle met the Winchesters was only a week before she turned fourteen. It was a meeting she’d never forget - it was both her first hunt and her first near death experience - but she never expected to see them again. Until a few years later, when she comes from to see the Winchesters in the diner, this time with a boy her age, an apocalypse to stop, and strict orders for Briony and Asher to stay put. And though Briony may have just met him, it’s clear that Asher Milligan is about as willing to sit out the apocalypse as she is.

Name: Cybil

Story: Heavy Is The Head (That Wears The Crown)

Face claim:  Danielle Campbell

Name: Deborah Winchester

Story: Heaven Waits For You

Face claim:  Phoebe Tonkin

Love Interest: [REDACTED], Isaac Cabot

Summary:  Once upon a time, the three Winchester siblings had been inseparable.  Deborah, the oldest, was three when Dean was born, six when Sam was born, and seven when their mom burned to death in her childhood home.  When she was eight, her dad put a gun in her hand and told her about the monsters under the bed.  By the time she was nine, she could hold her own against the best hunters she knew.  

And that was her life for fifteen years; endless training with her dad, taking care of her brothers while her dad went on hunts, leaving her brothers while she went on hunts with her dad; going on hunts with her brothers; leaving her brothers while she went on solo hunts, and, eventually, leaving her brothers.  

When Deborah was twenty four, she grabbed her duffle - always packed for the next hunt - and left.  The only sign that there had ever been a third Winchester was the paper - two identical pieces of paper with a phone number and an LA address that she left under her brothers’ pillows.  And she never heard from them again.

When Dean turned twenty one, which they always promised to celebrate together, nothing.  When Sam started at Stanford, only a short drive away, nothing.  When she was twenty nine and gave birth to her wonderful daughter, Ruth Mary Winchester, nothing.

And then she turns thirty, John goes missing, Sam’s girlfriend dies just like their mom, and suddenly, after six years of nothing, her baby brothers show up on her doorstep.

Name: Dinah Novak

Story: State Of Grace

Face claim:  Eliza Taylor

Love Interest: Dean Winchester

Name: Elizabeth “Elle” Winchester

Story: The World Upon Your Shoulders

Face claim:  Chloe Grace Moretz

Summary: Jerk, bitch, punk; Dean, Sam, Elle.  It was just the Winchester siblings against the world. Ever since Elle was dumped on John’s motel door yearly two decades ago, it had always just been the three of them against the world — right up until Sam ran away after a fight with their father and never came back. Years later and Elle and Dean have started to get used to just being a duo. Then John disappears and the two realize that they’ll have to drag Sammy out of his idyllic collage life and back into the nightmare he tried so desperately to leave behind. But, while the search for their missing father unravels many mysteries of their past, there’s one mystery they just can’t solve. What the Hell is happening to Elle Winchester?

Name: Esther Colt

Story: Living On A Prayer

Love Interest: Dean Winchester

Face claim:  Crystal Reed

Summary: When John Winchester started hunting, Bobby introduced him to Ruth Colt. The single mother of a three year old daughter, Ruth was reknown as one of the best active hunters around and was more than willing to partner with a novice. Over the years, the two partnered up more and more until, just before Esther turned ten, Ruth died on a hunt. Honouring a promise he’d made years before, John took Esther in and continued to train her alongside Sam and Dean. But Esther never stopped blaming John for her mother’s death, and on her sixteenth birthday, she was gone. They never saw or heard from her again, until John disappears and the brothers go to investigate a crashed plane.

Name: Evelyn “Eve” Jacobs

Story: If We Can’t Find Heaven

Face claim:  Vanessa Hudgens

Love interest: Dean Winchester

Summary: Jessica Moore had been her best friend, through infancy, middle school, high school, and four years at Stanford, and Evelyn Jacobs knew that something was wrong about her death.  She didn’t know how she knew it, but she did.  So she packed a bag and hopped on a bus, determined to find out the truth.  And if her path kept crossing with that of Sam Winchester and his unfairly attractive older brother then, well, Eve knew that there was no such thing as a coincidence.  She didn’t know if they would tell her the truth, or if she would have to do some digging of her own, but Eve would find out exactly what had happened to her, God help anyone who tried to stop her.

Name: Genesis

Story: Heaven Won’t Take Me Back

Face claim:  Jenny Boyd

Summary: It had been a long time since Genesis had set foot in heaven.  As Lucifer’s right hand, she had been cast away with the archangel aeons ago.  But Genesis didn’t believe in Hell, just like she hadn’t believed in Heaven.  No, Genesis had always supported mankind.  So for millennia, the angel had roamed the earth, befriending humans along the way.  She couldn’t interfere, not really, so when a four-year-old Dean Winchester started praying to anyone who would listen, begging for his mom back, there was nothing that she could do.  But twenty two years later, when Dean Winchester starts praying again — for protection for his baby brother — Genesis decides that she’s done playing the observer.  The Winchester brothers are facing an army from Hell, and who better than the former queen of Hell to fight beside them?

Name: Isaac Cabot

Story: Heaven Waits For You

Face claim: Joseph Morgan

Love Interest: Deborah Winchester

Name: Isla George

Story: No Grave Can Hold (My Body Down)

Love Interest: Dean Winchester

Face claim:  Nina Dobrev

Summary: The first time that Isla George met Dean Winchester, she thought it would be a one time thing. They finished the hunt together, got drunk, hooked up, and parted ways. And that was supposed to be the end of it. But their paths kept crossing, time and time again, until eventually she found herself hoping to run into him. Every time was the same. Share a motel, finish the hunt, get drunk, hook up, and leave while he slept. But when she runs into him while hunting a Wendigo, and finds out that his dad is missing, she can’t help but offer to help. She never thought about what secrets might come to light if she was still there in the morning.

Name: Jude Winchester

Story: Hey Jude

Face claim:  Trinity Rose Likins & Britt Robertson

Summary: Grandpa Bobby always told her that family don’t end in blood. And he was right, but Jude knew that there was still something to be said for the importance of blood. After all, blood was the reason that she was Jude Winchester; blood was the reason that Dean had begged his ex girlfriend to give him their daughter instead of putting her up for adoption, blood was the reason that he’d gone against John Winchester’s orders and kept her, blood was the reason that he’d named her after his mom’s favourite song. But family wasn’t just blood; family was living with Uncle Bobby when hunts were too dangerous for the ten year old, family was trying pumpkin pie with her dad in every diner they’d ever stopped in, family was driver picking the music and shotgun shutting his cakehole. Family was joining dad and Uncle Sam in looking for her grandfather, even though he’d never made a secret of how much he wanted her gone. Family don’t end in blood; it don’t start there either, and Jude Winchester will do anything for her family.

Name: Katia McKinley

Story: Hallelujah

Face claim: Candice King

Name: Marmaroth

Story: Winds Of Fortune

Face claim: Meg Donnelly

Name: Naomi Talbot

Story: Road To Hell

Face claim: Alycia Debnam-Carey

Name: Rachel Winchester

Story: Angel With A Shotgun

Face claim:  Natalia Dyer

Summary: Rachel Winchester didn’t know all that much about herself. She knew that she was a mistake, that her dad didn’t - doesn’t - want her, and that her mother was named Lucy. She doesn’t know how her parents met, or how she ended up with her dad, or anything about the important things, and she doesn’t know why her dad won’t answer any of her questions. But she knows other things, things that aren’t to do with her past. She knows how to shoot a gun and perform an exorcism, she knows how to drive and hustle like a pro, and she knows how to keep her mouth shut and be a good soldier. But when John Winchester goes missing, Rachel knows one thing with more certainty than she’s ever had: if they don’t find their dad, she’ll never get the answers to the questions that matter.

Name: Roxanne Marlow

Story: Good Times, Bad Times

Face claim:  Kaya Scodelario

Name: Ruth Winchester-Cabot

Story: Heaven Waits For You

Face claim:  Summer Fontana

Name: Scarlett

Story: Beyond Your Command

Face claim:  Kat McNamara

Name: Thomas Novak

Story: Of Angels And Apocalypse

Face claim:  Finn Wolfhard

Summary: Thomas Novak never believed in god.  Or in angels, or heaven or hell or anything that goes bump in the night.  Or at least, he didn’t.  Not until his dad was possessed by some self-righteous asshole angel named Castiel, who also possessed his sister Claire, and who tried to possess him.  But asshole angels don’t think about the people they hurt with their actions, and didn’t think about the consequences of the Novak twins losing their father.  So Thomas decides to tell him, and maybe get his father back.  Only, apparently it isn’t that simple, and he finds himself travelling the country with the asshole wearing his father’s body and two equally asshole “hunters” named Sam and Dean.  All he wanted was to get his dad back, but now it looks like Thomas is going to have to stop the apocalypse.

#masterlist #supernatural oc

[thefandomlesbian]

okay I DEFINITELY want to see you rank your favorite BAU characters

oh boy oh boy oh boy i’m TOAST--

1.) Emily Prentiss: This woman was my gay awakening and I’m still madly in love with her. All of my original works when I was in middle school featured a character who was basically Emily Prentiss under a different name, and she still is easily in my second favorite fictional character of all time. 

2.) Spencer Reid: Spencer was the first character I ever saw on screen who loved learning as much as I did and made me realize there’s no shame in being intelligent or in craving knowledge. I’ve been compared to Spencer since my family first started watching the show when I was a kid, and we share a name, so that’s that.

3.) Aaron Hotchner: I projected all of my insecurities onto Hotch when I was a kid. When I watched his relationship with Haley fall apart on screen, I felt that in my very bones. I cried with him upon her death and raised Jack with him and even though I was long out of the fandom when TG was fired, I was still devastated to hear that he was being forced to leave. His ship with Reid was the first gay ship I ever connected to, and together, they were the first characters to ever teach me that people are gay and it’s okay. The one thing I do dislike about Hotch is how he’s implied to be wickedly intelligent, but it never gets, like, followed through with? The implication that he graduated law school at nineteen or twenty asserts that this man graduated high school when he was sixteen or younger, that he sped through undergrad and was able to get accepted into one of the most prestigious law schools in the country and graduated early and was an incredibly successful lawyer and prosecutor. He worked personal security, SWAT, he did a stent in Seattle, before he became leader of the BAU at twenty-seven years old. Hotch is, in all likelihood, a child prodigy of his own right, and it never gets mentioned because Spencer’s academic accomplishments are more impressive (and I could take this space to do a whole character study on why I think Hotch stopped his pursuit of academia, but I won’t waste my own time, lol). 

4.) Elle Greenaway/Alex Blake: I love both of these ladies so I had to include them. Elle was done dirty by the canon and I adored her work in season one and the unique sensitivity she brought to the field when the BAU was still, as one unsub described it, “a boy’s club.” Alex took a little longer to grow on me (mostly because I was super bitter about Emily being gone that I didn’t want to like her), but the relationship she nurtured with Spencer was like no other, and her submitting her resignation to him instead of her direct superior gets me in the feels every time I watch it. 

5.) Erin Strauss: Strauss is another character done wrong by the canon, and I’m so furious and bitter for her still. I loved watching her grow from a stern politician into someone who genuinely cared about the BAU as part of her family and would do anything to protect them. It was true character development that she went from trying to come for Hotch’s job in season two to deliberately fabricating paperwork to try to catch the Replicator in season eight, the latter which she did without informing anyone because she knew it could put them in danger. Watching her grow close to the team, watching Alex forgive her for her transgressions and become bonded with Rossi and Hotch, I really thought we were going to have an awesome thing going in later seasons, and I was devastated when I saw that it was all poorly written build up just so the writers could snatch the rug out from under us when they killed her off. She gave her life to protect the BAU and I’m going to work to redeem her character in my pieces. (This is an Erin Strauss AND Haley Hotchner defense blog, leave my ladies alone.) 

6.) Dave Rossi: I sometimes take issue with Rossi’s character because he can be so damn arrogant and in early seasons seems to think he’s God’s gift to profiling, but I’m so fond of him for his nurturing relationship with the other characters. He doesn’t believe himself to have any family (of course we find out later he has a daughter, but besides that) so he takes it upon himself to make himself the father of the team. We see this dynamic with Emily and Spencer the most, with Morgan to some degree, with Ashley Seaver a lot (one of the only things I loved about Seaver’s presence in S6), and even with Jack’s little league team. Rossi who will do anything and everything for his team because those are his kids, dammit. 

7.) Penelope Garcia: Penelope is my little ray of sunshine! I love sweet and special headcanons about her and how she keeps up with the team and brings joy to their lives. We share a love for cats, and her origin story always makes me chuckle, especially the opening scene where she says, “I am a psychopath,” and Hotch says, “No, you’re not.” Her relationship with Morgan brings me joy, though I’m still frustrated with the canon for not following through on that and making it “just talk.” I also disliked how canon handled her relationship with Kevin. I love Penelope as a character, but there were some moments that I thought were not written very well for her which is why she isn’t higher up on the list.

8.) Jason Gideon: I know it’s popular to drag Gideon in this fandom, but I like him a lot, and I think his downfall played into the team very well in the end when it led to Rossi’s joining the team. He had some of my favorite moments, especially when he chose to save the school children rather than apprehend Frank (I like to imagine what the other characters would have done in his shoes if Frank had fixated on them instead) and when he saved Billie Copeland while everyone else was prepared to throw in the towel. I like his dynamic with the team and how they (other than Spencer) lose faith in him from the pilot and then gain it back slowly. I enjoy how he interacts with Spencer and teaches him things on screen. I do take issue with his allowing Spencer to view him as a father figure when he knows that that is what Spencer desperately needs and I think Gideon, as compassionate as he is, can be unintentionally manipulative and quite harmful. Still, I think he’s a very intriguing character and I regret we didn’t get more of him. 

9.) JJ: It’s not that I dislike JJ actively (though if you had asked me ten years ago, I probably would’ve said I did). I find JJ’s character incredibly difficult to relate to because, much like I mentioned with Penelope above, she is a victim of bad writing. Unlike Penelope, JJ’s bad writing is damn near ubiquitous from the time Henry is born until the end of the show. She can’t be in a scene with a victim or a family member without bringing up her family, and every time she shows her actual personality, it gets followed up with, “I’m also a mom!” I don’t relate to women whose entire lives revolve around their children, so finding any common ground with me and JJ is extraordinarily difficult. More than that, I abhor her relationship with Will and how Will was allowed to treat her so incredibly poorly and not only does the fandom worship him and never call him out--the writers acted like JJ was in the wrong. It drives me absolutely insane that Will and Haley treated their partners in the exact same way, their character arcs line up almost perfectly, but Will winds up happily married to JJ with two kids and Haley gets to bleed out on the floor of her own home while her husband clutches her dead body and weeps. This storyline is just part of the misogyny in the Criminal Minds canon, and though I like JJ, I have a hard time seeing past all of it to form a good bond with her. Fanon JJ > Canon JJ. 

10.) Derek Morgan: Derek is a character who I think had a lot of wasted potential. He’s the expert on obsessional crimes--never mentioned again. He’s the expert on explosives--mentioned two or three times. Chicago PD? We never get any information as to how he went from PD to FBI. Derek is such a wildly intelligent man, we know that, but much like Hotch, his intelligent gets forgotten in exchange for Spencer to exposit at random, except his is even more pronounced than Hotch’s. After the first few seasons, the writers just treated him like the brawn of the BAU with no other expertise or presence, and I hate that for him--it was such a criminal injustice against his character. Unlike JJ, I do love Derek (my feelings for JJ are generally neutral leaning toward positive--I adore Derek Morgan) but the writers did him so dirty. I don’t like his relationship with Savannah at all. As a CSA survivor, his whole CSA storyline generally bugs the hell out of me because it only gets mentioned when the writers want to go boohoo Derek has trust issues or have an excuse to say “hurrdurr buff guy hates pedophiles” and he’s never shown having any meaningful struggle with his trauma (can be said of most of the trauma in the show) or having any character development (he’s often criticized for not trusting the team as much as he should but he never grows from it). Derek is a character I’m very protective of, but as much as I love his relationships with Spencer, Penelope, and Emily, I just can’t defend the ways the writers let him down so grievously. 

#emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #dave rossi #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #alex blake #erin strauss #elle greenaway #jason gideon #criminal Minds

[justa-starrynite]

Choices: One

A/N: It is finally here! We have been excitedly talking about and anxiously waiting on posting our first Collaboration story together. We have been working on these for a month or so. Finally we get to share it with you all. We hope you enjoy this little adventure we’ll be taking you all on!

This is new territory for us so bear with us! For now, this page is solely for this story, but you never know what can happen down the road!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, feel free to leave a comment or shoot us a message!

Co-authors: @justahopelessssromantic & @starrynite7114

word count: 4175

tagged list: @chibsytelford @phoenixhalliwell @lady-pswrld @carlaangel86 @cocotheclown @mrsjaxtellerfan @loveandglamour26 @nakusaych9 @courtrae89 @briannab1234 @vicmackeybullshxt @gemini0410

Felipe had his gun drawn, cautiously making his way up the driveway of an old friend he knew so well. ell. Looking behind him he saw a few of his colleagues surveying the area. Seeing the footsteps and the front door that was wide open, he knew that they were too late. 

“I think we’re too late.” Felipe told his colleague. 

Quickly, they made their way up to the front door and found the place in disarray. The smell of gunpowder was still fresh in the air. 

Felipe heard the cries then. Making his way to the back of the home, he saw his former colleague and his wife, face down, their blood pooling under them. Their daughters surrounded them, crying as their parents became colder and colder.

“Mommy,” Amelia shook her mother, begging for her to wake up. “Arper, she no wakey.” 

Harper frowned, shaking her mother as well with the same result. She turned when she heard the footsteps, immediately wrapping her arms around Amelia. When she realized it was Felipe, her face scrunched up, the tears now flowing down her eyes. Felipe picked her up, his colleague, Jorge picking up Amelia. 

“It’s okay bebita, Tio Felipe is here now.” Felipe kissed her head. 

This was the reason he started anew in California, why he had to keep Angel and his newborn, Ezekiel along with his wife Marisol away from this. The cartel was hardly forgiving, and this was evidence of that. Looking at the two young toddlers in his arm and Jorge’s, he knew he had to do the same for them. 

Harper sat down by the computer in her room, letting out a sigh. Packing was a bitch. Moving from Seattle all the way down close to the border was a feat. It’s not like she couldn’t find a place in Seattle to work. Plenty of hospitals needed nurses, but she wanted to work at an underserved community and well, her recruiter found her a job in Santo Padre. Which was fate bringing the puzzle pieces together.

She’s been wanting to see Felipe, to thank him for everything he’s done for her all these years.

More importantly, she wanted to meet Angel, Felipe’s eldest son and the man who’s had her heart since she was eight years old. It was surreal how this all began over the phone and after all these years, they’ve never met face to face. 

Her adoptive father, Jorge, always spoke highly of Felipe, they used to be comrades of war. He never spoke about it often. But every once in a while, when he had enough to drink to let his inhibitions go, she could get a few things out of him.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but your parents love you dearly.” He would always tell her that, yet, he would never elaborate what happened to them. She knew they were no longer in this world and she had a sister, but from what her father told her, when he found her at an orphanage, it was only her left.

Harper remembered bits of pieces of her childhood, but at times, she felt that she blocked it out. 

Too traumatic or some shit.

Regardless, here she was, spending her last night at her parents home. Her older brothers Oliver and Dominic were having a hard time letting her go, even though they themselves no longer live in Seattle. Oliver was currently stationed in San Diego with the Navy and Dominic was in Arizona. Right now, they were in Seattle since they were going to drive down to Santo Padre with Harper. No matter her age, Harper would always be their baby sister, no amount of degrees or make up could change that.

Her parents taught her the value of hard work. 

They provided a roof over her head, gave her things that she wanted as long as they could afford it. They were never rich in the sense of materialistic things but their family was always rich with love and laughter. Jorge seemed to be a very strict man due to his military background, but he was the biggest jokester of them all. Harper’s friends growing up love coming to her home and just talking to her father, hearing his stories. Her mother, Elia, was an amazing cook and much like her father, a jokester. 

Harper felt blessed to have her family. She couldn’t even say she missed her biological parents cause she never knew them.

But she was grateful for being blessed with Jorge and Elia. Along with her two doofus older brothers.

Dominic was the eldest at thirty four years old. He was currently a manager at a bank in Phoenix, Arizona where he resides with his partner, Brandon. They were in the process of adopting a baby boy, four months old. Oliver was thirty-two years old and was currently an active member of the Navy. He currently resides in Coronado, close to base, with his fiancé, Haley. 

The three were all close growing up, the two boys taking in the toddler than their father brought him. They always wanted a sister and they got one in Harper. Blood or not, Harper was their baby and no one would ever harm her, especially not the people that killed her parents.

“Harp! Is everything packed?” She heard Dominic holler at her.

“Yes! We’ve been over this for the seventeenth time!” She yelled back. 

“Okay smartass, if you fucking forget one thing tomorrow I’m throwing your ass in the lake.” Dominic warned.

Harper laughed before she stopped and rechecked her items. She wasn’t taking everything, this would always be her home after all. The most she took were her clothes and this dresser her father had made for her, she could never truly part with it.

There was a knock on her door.

“Come in!” She called out. “Who knew you knew how to knock Dom.” 

Looking up, she found her father, a small smile gracing his lips. This has been difficult for him. He didn’t want her to move. Though the threat may no longer be there, he was still hesitant to part with his baby girl.

“All packed?” Jorge asked as he sat beside Harper on her bed. The bed where she shed tears over the first boy to break her heart. The bed where he read her endless stories about happily ever afters. The bed where he would hold her and lull her to sleep whenever she dreamt about the night her parents were slayed. The bed where he promised her that no matter what, he would always protect her.

“Yes, don’t believe Dominic, he’s just being an asshole.” Jorge gave her a look and she immediately corrected herself. “A jerk, Dom’s being a jerk.”

“You’re twenty-nine years old Harper, you’re allowed to cuss.”

“Yes well, you’ve embedded it in me that if I get that look, that means I’m not supposed to do something.” Harper gave him a sheepish smile. 

“I know.” Jorge chuckled. “I decided to come along with you and your brothers, it would be nice to see Felipe again.”

“Really?” Harper grinned. “That would be great, you two could catch up and you could ease my nerves about moving to a new place.”

“You’ll be fine mija. If there was one kid I wasn’t worried about, it was you.” 

Harper chuckled. “Thanks dad.”

She was ready for this new chapter. However nerve wracking it may be, she had a good feeling about this, that she was on the right path. 

It was the path that led her to Angel and unbeknownst to her father, her sister. 

Miguel fastened the last button of his white shirt as he walked into the dining room greeting his family. “Buenos días my beautiful familia.” He grinned looking as his two favorite women and his precious little girl. He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek then leaned over cupping his beautiful wife Amelia’s face in his hand leaning in for a soft kiss before turning to the other side and placing a sweet kiss to the top of his daughter, Marisela’s head. He then took his place at the head of the table unfolding his cloth napkin and setting it across his lap. “How was everyone’s night?” He questioned as he looked to Marisela. He had been working all night so he had not come to bed. The last thing he did before shutting himself in his office was tuck his daughter into her bed and read her favorite bedtime story. He was hoping last night was finally the night she could sleep by herself, nightmare free. The poor thing had been suffering from terrible nightmares, waking up crying in the middle of the night before finding comfort in her parent’s bed. He loved her dearly but it could only go on for so long before something had to change.

“I had ‘nother nightmare.” Marisela spoke up quietly looking up at her father with her big brown eyes. “A scary monster came and swooped me away from you and I would never see you again.” She recalled, her little eyes filling with tears. 

Miguel and Amelia’s hearts broke at the sight. They felt for their daughter and wished more than anything to be able to rid her of these fears. “You have nothing to fear mi princesa.” Miguel spoke softly to her, “Papa would never let that happen. You’re safe, surrounded by people who love and protect you.” 

“Like tio Nessy?” She asked, perking up a bit. Nestor and Marisela had a very special bond, the little girl holding a special place in his heart as well. 

“Ella,” Amelia spoke up catching her daughter’s attention. “Did you know Mama used to get terrible nightmares too when she was little like you?” Amelia had suffered from nightmares that would plague her after she was adopted. They were always so vivid and felt real but at the end of the day they were just dreams and eventually they faded with time. Hopefully it wouldn’t take Marisela’s quite as long to disappear for her. 

“You did?” Marisela asked, eyes wide. “How’d you make ‘em go away?” 

“Eventually they just did, baby.” Amelia said, giving her a comforting smile and reaching out to brush a curl behind Madisela’s ear. “Yours will too.”

Miguel watched on intently, Marisela was beautiful looking just like her mother and he thought about how lucky he was to have his family. “So,” he spoke up taking a sip of his coffee, “What are our plans for today?” 

“Well, we’ll probably just have a little girl’s day.” Amelia said buttering her toast, “Do some shopping, maybe get our nails done and then dinner at (restaurant name)?” 

“That sounds wonderful. I’ll make sure we have a reservation.” Miguel said. 

Nestor stepped into the room instantly gaining the attention of Marisela. She perked up at the sight exclaiming, "Nessy!" Nestor smiled at the little girl walking over to her as she bounced on her seat. He'd never get tired of the excitement she had every time she saw him. Looking up at him as he got closer Marisela pouted. Where the nightmares were a terrible feat for her she also knew how to use them to gain the sympathy of those already wrapped tightly around her little finger. "Had 'nother scary dream tio Nessy," She informed him, bottom lip jutting out as her eyes watered over. 

"That's no good," he said brushing the stray tear away that trailed down her cheek. 

Amelia looked to Miguel hoping she could have a moment to speak with him. The nightmares had been at the front of her mind for some time now. She hated seeing her daughter suffer through similar things to what she had growing up. She also missed having the bed to herself and husband again, the frequent addition blocking any and all intimacy between the two. 

Miguel picked up on his wife's silent signal. “Why don’t you go wash up," He suggested to his daughter, "You've got a big day planned ahead, mi princesa. You'll need to be heading out soon."

"I'll take her, Mykie." Nestor offered lifting the girl off her seat and taking her hand. "Come on now little Ella." Amelia smiled at her daughter as Nestor and Marisela walked out of the room to clean up leaving Miguel, Amelia, and Dita still sat at the dining table.

Amelia’s smile faltered as she sunk down in her seat exhausted once her daughter was out of sight. She looked to Miguel again. “We can’t keep doing this Miguel. The nightmares have to stop. Marisela is barely sleeping." She rubbed her temples between her fingers in an attempt to massage the stress away. "Maybe it would be good to seek outside help, find someone she can talk to. Someone who could help her more than us." 

Miguel grabbed her hand, stilling her movement and bringing it down to his lips for a kiss to the back of her soft skin. He held it tight giving it a squeeze as she placed her other hand on top of his “I think that’s an excellent idea, amor." He agreed. "We’ll find someone, look into it together. I promise." 

Dita sipped her tea remaining silent throughout the conversations until now. “She’s a child, they have nightmares all the time.” She spoke up waving it off, “She doesn’t need a shrink messing around in her little mind and filling it with nonsense." She set her cup down on the table looking to her daughter in law "What she needs is for you to stop letting her sleep in your bed every time she has a silly little dream. The sooner she learns she doesn't have you to fall back on she'll get over it." She said sternly. "She's a Galindo, strong like her father." Dita smiled at her son. 

Amelia gave her mother in law a tight lipped smile in return. It took everything in her to keep her calm. She and Dita did not often get along, Dita thinking Amelia belonged in the role of loving mother and doting wife nothing more and certainly not getting involved with the cartel business. What Miguel and Amelia had was a partnership though. She refused to be left in the dark. They respected each other, were a true power couple through and through. It was because of that that their marriage remained strong. 

Amelia was adopted by the Mendoza’s, another powerful cartel that was south of Sonora. Together, their marriage would unite the two powerful cartels, sparing bloodshed between the two. The Galindo’s never crossed a certain border, helping the Mendoza’s retain their power in that part of Mexico, while the Mendoza’s helped the cartel keep their territory intact. After the DOJ’s meddling, the Galindo’s were not as powerful as they used to be. The partnership, forced partnership, with the government made them look weak, leaving distaste to other cartel families. But they also understood why everything occurred the way it did. And now, Miguel Galindo was in power and it was different to his father’s reign. They were unsure of his prowess, but he has proved that he could play their game, they just didn’t know how well he could. Regardless, the Mendoza’s allied themselves with Miguel, strengthening their partnership with a marriage. If they had a marriage, a child, it would be hard to betray one another, the fallout would be far too great. 

Amelia and Miguel knew one another from when they were children, and always had polite conversations. When they were informed that they would be arranged, there was no fight from either as they knew their fates. Powerful families rarely wanted to marry outside of their class. Even though it seemed ridiculous at this time period, with all the progressive ideals that has been put forth, old habits were difficult to break. They’ve been married for 

Miguel made her a promise the night their engagement was announced.

‘I know this is not ideal Lia, but I will protect you. I promise you that no matter what happens, it will be you and me against whatever is thrown against us.’ 

And Miguel has kept that promise. He’s even gone against his mother for her.

Miguel squeezed Amelia’s hand in support as he addressed his mother. “This is between Amelia and I, Mama. Marisela is our daughter. It is our decision to decide what is best for her. Even a Galindo could use a helping hand every now and then.”

Amelia gave Miguel a grateful smile, squeezing his hand back. Dita gave them both a tight smile before leaving the two alone. Amelia didn’t hate Dita, but she didn’t particularly like her either. More often than not, Dita always inserted herself in their marriage. 

Amelia smiled as Marisela slowly awoke from her small nap during the ride over to town. She had to drop off a few things at the post office and she figured no better time than the present to see who her Pediatrician would recommend for Marisela to meet up with. Though, they most likely would go to San Diego as the choices were by far vast. 

Hearing the familiar roar of the motorcycle, she looked as two Mayans passed her by, parking across the street at Carniceria Reyes. Coco and Angel dismounted, taking off their helmets and placing it on their handles. Coco looked back, his eyes meeting Amelia’s. She managed to give him a small smile and he returned it, their past memories running through both their minds. 

What could have been.

What should have been.

“Still can’t believe she’s married to Galindo.” Angel shook his head. “Hola Amelia, come estas?” 

Amelia rolled her eyes and flicked off Angel. 

“Very nice to do in front of your kid.” Angel further teased her. 

Coco smacked Angel’s arm, shaking his head. “Leave it, you don’t want Galindo breathing down our neck because you’re fucking with his wife.” 

“You’re right.” Angel nodded his head, stepping on the sidewalk to make his way over to his father’s butcher shop. 

Coco knew that no matter how he felt, this was the best for Amelia. Like what Miguel told him the night Amelia collapsed in his arms, she was better off with him. He could get her the proper treatment for his condition and he, a nobody, could barely reap his benefits from his military service. It was one of the hardest things he had to do. A relationship that lasted less than a year had such an effect on him, still did to this day. He dreamt of her often, how she would laugh at his corny jokes, take in his words of wisdom and always compliment on how intelligent he was. Those were the most cruel dreams, they were equivalent to nightmares, since it was a taste of what he had and could never have again.

“Yo, you alright?” Angel broke him away from his thoughts. 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m good.” Coco turned away from Amelia, moving towards where Angel was. 

Much like everything else in his life, Amelia and his children, were pushed to the side, because they were better without him. He would just ruin his life, much like how he always fucked up in his. 

The club was the only family he had and it would always remain that way.

Harper walked in, the nerves in her stomach were going inside. Her father Jorge followed after her, smiling at Amelia’s excitement. He was glad that she was finally able to meet her Tio Felipe again after all these years. Ever since Marisol’s death, Felipe’s visits were sporadic at best, but Harper understood she always did. 

“Be with you in a moment,” Felipe had his back turned to them, preparing the meat he was going to place in the display case. 

“Take your time.” She responded. 

“Compadre, you’re moving slower, should we be concerned?” Jorge couldn’t help but tease Felipe.

Felipe froze and turned around. “Jorge?” He wiped his hands with his apron, taking it off as he made his way towards them. His eyes then landed on the young woman beside him and his smile even grew larger. “Harper?”

“Hello,” she shyly greeted him.

“Don’t be shy now, go hug him.” Jorge gave his daughter a slight push.

Harper walked over to Felipe, wrapping her arms around him. The warmth she felt was similar to the one she felt when her father would embrace her. The men who saved her and her sister, wherever she may be. 

“Mija, you’re so grown.” Felipe rarely smiled, but seeing Harper in front of him, even though he had seen Amelia numerous times, it was different. Harper was kept away, just to assure that the two would not be put together and hunted down. It was ironic how Amelia was now married to the family who got her parents killed in the first place. Felipe didn’t know who Amelia was going to be adopted too, he trusted a friend of his to find a good family for her, a family who would be able to afford her condition. 

And those were the Mendoza’s. 

“What are you doing here?” He questioned Harper once he pulled away. “What are you both doing here?”

“Came to help her unpacked, make sure everything is in order at her apartment.” Jorge wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

“I got a job here as an ER nurse, I’ve always wanted to serve underserved communities and my recruiter found me one here.” Harper excitedly told him. “I jumped at the opportunity as I’ve been wanting to see you and Angel as well.”

Felipe chuckled, shaking his head. His eldest son was enamored with Harper. Ever since they were younger, Angel always spoke to Harper. It was odd that they became as close as they’ve been, but Felipe was thankful. He felt that he failed Angel, that he didn’t give him the love that he deserved. He would make it up to Angel eventually, but he was glad Harper was here now, just so the two could finally meet face to face. Every time they would try and meet, it was never the right time. It was upsetting to say the least, but Angel always pushed through. 

“Angel has been looking forward to meeting you for so long, I’m sure it would make him immensely happy to see you.” Felipe chuckled. “Have you two eaten? Let’s go grab some food and bring it back here.”

Felipe went to the back to lock up and change, Jorge following after him. Harper stood by the counter, checking her phone. The bell rang, indicating someone walked in. She looked up and found two men, one taller than the other, wearing leather vests. Giving them a small smile, Harper’s attention went back to her phone.

Angel studied the young woman before him, his eyebrows furrowing. “Amelia, weren’t you just outside?”

Harper looked at the man behind her and gave him a confused look. “Amelia? My name is Harper.”

Angel froze. 

Harper.

He knew that voice. 

It was her voice. 

Angel didn’t know how he could feel so strongly about someone he never met. He’s always felt at ease with Harper. He could even say that he loves her. She’s been his best friend, his confidant for years. And to have her in front of him, he was in disbelief. 

“Is it really you?” Angel studied her face, she looked just like Amelia, but she just looked different, seemed different. The smile on her face was brighter, more genuine. Her hair was burgundy stuck out to him. He remembered when she was nervous about coloring her hair and she looked beautiful. The half sleeve tattoo on her arm caught his eye, a sleeve she had shown him before. 

God, she was gorgeous.

“Want to pick up your mouth bro, it’s kind of embarrassing.” Coco couldn’t help but tease Angel. Though it was eerie how much she looked like Amelia. “Fuck, I owe Gilly money.” Coco took his phone out, preparing to text their third musketeer. 

And the fact she wasn’t a dude really surprised Coco.

His voice registered to Harper then. Her mouth dropped open before she shrieked and ran over to him, jumping in his arms. Angel’s arms immediately wrapped around her. 

“Angel!” Harper buried her face at the crook of his neck. 

“Fuck, you are real.” Angel couldn’t even explain how overjoyed he was to finally have Harper in his arms. He always thought that maybe life was playing a cruel trick on him and he was being fucking catfished, especially since she would never show him pictures of herself. She reasoned that her parents wouldn’t allow it, that people were looking for her and his father explained the same thing to him. Angel never pushed it, which was surprising for him, but he knew it must have been something if even his father and mother advised that it would be best to wait to see Harper

#angel reyes #angel reyes fic #angel reyes x oc #angel reyes fanfic #coco cruz fanfic #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #coco cruz x oc #miguel galindo

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

In a Parallel Universe

Could it be... fluff? The happy, uplifting tone of this can entirely be credited to Mustafa as a muse. I truly believe the man should be held up as an example of how to be a good human and how to be masculine without it becoming toxic. (The way he is treated by WWE, much like that other paragon of positive masculinity Sami Zayn, is something I can angrily rant about another time.) 

Pairing: Mustafa Ali x reader (platonic)

Word count: 2,659

Content advisory: Racism/ racist language

“Did you ever have a thing for me?”

Your eyes widen in shock as you look back at Mustafa, your best friend, wondering if you’ve heard him correctly. He’s looking at you with those big, ingenuous eyes, as if he’s just asked you if you’ve decided what you want for dinner. In all the time you’ve known each other you’ve never once brought up the subject of romantic interest or physical attraction and yet here he is, just throwing it out there. 

You’re watching your daughters collaborate on a colouring project that might as well be “Guernica” for how seriously they’re taking it. 

The bell-like laughter of his wife and mother-in-law is drifting in from the back patio where they’re taking some much-needed time alone together. 

You’re waiting on your husband Jake, who’s already sent four apologetic texts about how the Saturday he’s been called into work keeps dragging on, promising that he’ll be there as soon as he can, but that he doesn’t expect you to hold up the barbeque just for him. (Even though he knows you will.)

You laugh a little and squint at him, as if what he’s asked is somehow ridiculous. But it’s not ridiculous. Two heterosexual people who’ve been close friends for so long… it would almost be weird if there hadn’t been any sexual tension. Nevertheless, you think of just rolling your eyes and blowing the subject off. It would be easy enough to do. But his unwavering earnestness has always demanded respect and honesty and it’s possible that he knows the answer already. You certainly do. 

“I guess,” you begin, aware that your voice is wavering a little, “early on. I had a bit of a crush.”

Is that the truth? In as much as feeling can be summed up in so few words, yes. It wasn’t like you’d been pining and crying yourself to sleep at night, but sure, you’d felt it. You’d approached him to ask if you could train with him after the two of you had worked a few of the same local shows where the wrestlers outnumbered the audience members. Yes, you’d been beyond impressed with his skills but you’d also noticed how very, very cute he was.

“I mean, everyone did,” you assure him. “All the girls liked you.”

Not all the girls had your confidence or your desire to really break in to the wrestling world, though. So you’d been the one to steel yourself and walk up to him at the gym one night and ask if he’d help you. It was a calculated risk, you figured: he could refuse, he could give it a shot and get bored or irritated and walk away, he could help you become a better wrestler even if he wasn’t interested in more, he could feel your skills were hopeless but also decide you were attractive enough to pursue, or he could want to be both a training partner and something more. Five possible outcomes, three of which worked in your favour. You’d always been clever with numbers and the numbers clearly gave you a better than even chance of a positive result. 

He laughs shyly and looks down at the idea that “all the girls” had found him attractive. It’s not that he’s ever been insecure about his looks and charm, exactly, but he’s never been the sort of arrogant prick who’s assumed everyone must be in love or lust with him. And that’s always been part of his charm; confident enough not to seem needy but humble enough to appreciate the attention. 

Of course, you’ve always been a little surprised that he doesn’t have more of an ego. The luscious mane of black hair, the smile that could power a small city, the toned body that never crossed into that lumpy, bulgy look that too many of your counterparts developed, and most of all those huge, soulful eyes… The man was infuriatingly flawless and even now it’s not like you are immune to the occasional whisper of desire.  

“Shit. I never did anything to hurt you, did I?”

And then there was the personality. Mustafa had always been too great of a guy to be real. He’d been your rock. Whenever things ground you down, he was the one who could build you up again. When you got angry and depressed at the state of the world, he’d commiserate but he’d also be able to give you hope, if only because a world that produced someone as awesome as he was couldn’t be all bad. 

You could honestly say that without him, you’d never have fought your way out of the indies and into the big leagues. That wasn’t just because training with him made you a stronger, better wrestler. It was because the two of you had been able to lean on each other when things were rough. And damn, things had been rough at times. 

When the two of you had graduated from bar shows for disinterred old men drinking watered-down beer and playing slot machines, you’d been beyond excited. The shows you got invited to took place in gymnasiums and legion halls and church basements with actual audiences who had come specifically to watch the wrestling. You knew it wasn’t the big time; you were excited, not stupid. But it was progress and a lot of people you knew hadn’t even made it that far. You’d grounded yourselves by talking about your meager pay and by calculating how much you’d earned per bruise at each show. 

One of the larger, or at least more successful promotions that had booked you had provided an eye-opening experience. The promoter was a corpulent man with a mouth full of lumps that barely counted as teeth and breath to match. He’d called both two of you aside a few hours before your first show to tell you the gimmick that he had in mind for the two of you. It had come as a bit of a surprise because although you were friends, you’d never teamed up in the ring. You’d reveled in being the foul-mouthed heel, while he had, of course, been a natural baby face. (And if you were honest, so few people knew who you were that your characters hadn’t ever mattered.)

“I wanna do a thing with the two of you,” the promoter began, sweat already dampening his forehead and staining the armpits of his cheap shirt. “You two are gonna be like a pair of terrorists. You can fight all the American guys- and girls- and get them over with the crowd. Get the audience riled up.”

The two of you had stared back at him in horror, jaws slack. 

“I’m thinking something like ‘Osama and Elle Qaeda’ for your names.” His brow furrowed as he processed another idea. “Can you come up with some shit to yell in Arabic?”

You remembered thinking that it must be some kind of joke. Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden were products of the Arabian Peninsula. Mustafa’s parents were Pakistani and Indian. Yours were Kurds from southern Turkey. Not one of your parents even spoke Arabic. But more to the point, the two of you were American. You were both born and bred in Chicago. Neither of you had any hint of an accent. Why couldn’t you just be normal? 

The promoter looked at you impatiently. Mustafa recovered his voice enough to stammer through an explanation of your ethnicity, only to be greeted with a look of supreme indifference and boredom. 

“Look,” he said sharply, “it doesn’t matter. You have the look. Around here you’re all sand ni-“

Remembering that night still hurts. The pain has dulled over time because at the moment he’d said it, it felt like you’d been shot in the chest. For a few moments you’d been afraid that you were actually going to vomit. Growing up in a racially mixed area, your features and your family name had been ambiguous enough that people thought that people usually guessed that you were Greek or Italian before they got to Turkish or even broadly Middle Eastern. You’d been proud to declare that you were descended from the little-known but courageous and resilient Kurds. But out here in the wider world, you were an Arab and therefore a terrorist. The Indian subcontinent, birthplace of so many cultures, arts, religions and philosophies, crossroads of empires, might as well have never existed. Mustafa was an Arab and therefore a terrorist. 

Seeing what he perceived as hesitation, the promoter scowled at both of you. “Give it a shot,” he counseled. “It’s the only way people are gonna take you seriously.”  

You and Mustafa smile at each other, as if you’ve both been recalling the painful judgments you’d faced together, as if you’re amazed you survived let alone flourished. You’d pulled each other through. 

“I’d always kind of wondered if you’d ever liked me,” he says shyly. 

Yes, you think, you had. You were a tall, muscular girl. It had made sense that you work with a male training partner. So he’d been happy to work with you and you were thrilled to be able to learn from him. You felt yourself improving every time you practiced together. But your mind had often drifted to how it would feel to have his arms wrapped around you in other circumstances. More than once you’d been tempted to close the scant distance between your lips just to see how he’d react. 

“I liked you,” he adds, eyes snapping up to see your reaction. 

You do your best to mask your shock. “You did?”

“Sure. C’mon, look at you.”

Your mouth feels a little dry. The sounds from the patio have faded and even the children have fallen silent. 

“Maybe not right away because I thought you were kind of scary, to be honest,” he chuckles. “But after we’d been hanging around, I don’t know, about a year or so, I really liked you.”

You can’t help but laugh at the idea that you were scary. Maybe you’d thought you could be scary to some of the smaller, less experienced women you’d fought. But to someone on your level both skill-wise and vertically? No. 

“I’m serious. I wasn’t desperate or anything but I remember thinking a lot about what might have happened if I’d made a move.”

You wonder about the math in your head. You hadn’t entertained those thoughts about him for all that long. Sure he was hot, but as you’d risen through the ranks together, he’d quickly come to seem like a brother. The idea of the two of you being a couple had started to seem weird. You’d thought about it less the longer you spent together, so it was strange for you to think that as you’d gotten over your initial crush, he’d begun thinking of you in that way.

Your shared reverie is interrupted as his little girl climbs into his lap, sour-faced and frustrated that she’s running out of brown crayons. The work of art that your girls are creating relies heavily on earth tones for the ground, for the tree trunks and bushes, and, you note happily, for the different faces of the people occupying the epic landscape they’ve made. There are all sorts of shades of people and there just aren’t enough brown crayons to build the different tones. 

Your daughter purses her lips in a look of stubborn determination you’ve come to know all too well. She’s grabbed red crayons, orange crayons, yellow crayons, green crayons, whatever she can get her hands on to colour in her people. She’s as upset as her friend that there aren’t enough browns but she would never let on. As ridiculous as it seems, you’re actually a little intimidated by just how headstrong she is. Now that she’s learned the alphabet, she seems like she’s about ready to move out and start kicking ass. 

She casts a quick glance in your direction and you have to hold back a gasp at her fierce, beautiful eyes. Looking at her face, you’re gob smacked by the idea that something that gorgeous came out of you. It’s like looking at the sun. It’s even stranger to think that she could be the product of the wild, all-encompassing lust that you and your husband had- still have- for each other. How could something that seemed so deliciously sinful produce something so perfect?

You glance back at Mustafa, whose attention is now completely absorbed in his daughter’s lecture on the need for more brown crayons. She’s articulate far beyond her years and you hope beyond hope that years of school won’t convince her to hide her intelligence the way girls of your generation did. 

It’s possible that there was a time when your desire for Mustafa and his for you overlapped, that there was an opening when the two of you could have touched lips and fallen into each other as if nothing else in the world existed. The two of you would probably have been a power couple in the industry. Your dazzling combination of skills would have been irresistible. With the way your families have come to love the both of you, it’s likely they would have moved beyond the cultural differences that absolutely do exist, no matter what some ignorant arsehole might have told you when he insisted you were both Arab terrorists. 

And it is most definitely possible that the two of you would be sitting in a living room just like this, embracing as you observed your children colouring or playing video games, or chasing each other around with rubber swords, or, worst of all, trying to emulate what they saw their parents doing on television. And perhaps as you watched, you’d look at each other and touch lips with all the tenderness in your souls and you would be filled to the point of bursting with happiness. 

But then there would be no…

There would be no Jake, the man who made you realize what true, unadulterated love really was. You would never have had someone make you laugh the way that he can, make you laugh so much that your ribs ache for hours. There would never have been the man who taught you how to curse in Irish or how to snowboard. And you would not have your daughter, so filled with her father’s sarcasm and stubbornness. 

For that matter, you would never have had Mustafa’s wife as your friend. When Jake had been hit by a car while riding his bike to work, you would not have had her comforting arms and her voice to pull you through the agonizing days when doctors cautioned you not to be too hopeful about his prognosis. You would never have had that feeling of someone strong enough to hold you up yet tender enough to nurture you through the pain. 

A few hours later, the gang of you are gathered around the picnic-style table in the back yard. Mustafa, his wife, her parents, you, Jake, his brother who’s been run ragged by his job more than any of you, and, of course, your children. You’re all laughing so hard that it’s a legitimate danger that the neighbours will call the police with a noise complaint. You make a clever joke and Jake, impressed by your wit as he always is, presses a light kiss against your neck. You feel the familiar thrill move through you, suddenly thinking that it’s time to wind things down and head home. Just for a second, your eyes connect with Mustafa’s and there is this perfect, still moment when you can see that there could be an alternate universe where the two of you would be together, something that might have been better or worse or neither. But then the moment is passed, and you’re once again back in this universe with the lives that you love.

#wrestling fanfic #wrestling imagine #mustafa ali #mustafa ali imagine #wwe imagine #mustafa ali x reader #wayward wrestle writing

[davieslandon]

Discord Thread || Landon&Jaycee

Discord thread featuring: Landon & @jayceelynd

When: sometime after Jaycee find out she’s pregnant then timeskip to April 4th  

Mentions: @romanbeckett @aaronhart93 @quentindelancret

Description: Jaycee tells Landon she’s pregnant and that the baby is his; timeskip: Jaycee gives birth to Baby Sebastian Beau Davies on Easter Day, with Landon by her side.

Trigger Warnings: accidental pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, talks of labour, breastfeeding

Jaycee.

Jaycee had take five tests so far and went to the drugstore to to buy five more on her way to Landons house. Elle was at school so they’d have time to discuss this and figure things out. Jaycee loved Landon to pieces and he has been the best friend a girl could dream of. Picking on one another with mean come backs, with nothing but love for one another behind the remarks. Truth is, she’d take a bullet for Landon and Elle, and the fact that she was pregnant with someone she cared for and knew was a great dad. It comforted her, even though her nerves were a mess as she knocked on his door. Why didn’t she think it was weird she hasn’t had her period in four months, and her boobs have plumped up more than than usual. With her water bottle she walked in and grabbed Landons hand, her cheeks flushed from the cold air outside. “Landon, I’m sorry to rush over here. I just. I really really need to talk to you..” she turned around and the see through grocery bag showed the test, and a urine specimen cup to use the tests in. It was visible she was nervous and scared, as she furrowed her brow trying to read him. “I um.. Can we go to your bathroom?” She needed to sit down and talk but she’d drank so much water to retest for him, she was about to burst. Besides, they’ve both seen one another naked multiple times from the show they were on to recently a few months back. 

LANDON

One of the benefits of being a journalist was the opportunity to work from home. It made things easier back when Elle wasn’t going to school yet and the habit stuck around, even once his daughter got older. He was much more likely to get some work done in the comfort of his own home with no one around to distract him than he was at the office. A knock at the door brought him out of his working zone and he got up with a sigh. When he saw Jaycee on the other side of the door, his confusion only grew. His friend knew that he usually spent the time Elle was at school working and didn’t interrupt him so the fact that she was here right now, looking frazzled...it worried him. “What’s going o-“ His words cut off when he noticed what was in her grocery bag. Those were pregnancy tests. Landon felt his stomach drop to his feet and he stared at Jaycee with wide eyes. She didn’t even need to say anything for him to come to his own conclusions because why else would she come to his place with pregnancy tests? In a daze, he followed Jaycee to his he bathroom, feeling completely caught off guard. When he saw her take one of the tests out of the bag, Landon finally managed to get his mouth working again. “You’re pregnant?”

Jaycee.

Jaycee couldn’t hold it, and nodded for him to follow her to the bathroom. Deciding the leave the door open so he could talk and watch her do the tests correctly. “I have taken fivw tests already that say I am pregnant, and I have five more to double check. Landon I don’t get it..” after collecting a sample to dip the tests in, she cleaned herself up then washed her hands. It wasn’t that she’d think Landon wouldn’t believe her, she herself didn’t believe it. It has to be fluke or something. “And I’m pretty sure when we got snowed in is when we got pregnant.” She licked her lips, it was obvious she was scared and nervous of just telling him. Walking towards his bathroom, sitting down as soon as she pulled her pants down. Grabbing the cup to capture what she needed for the other tests as well and finished cleaning up. Standing with her hands on the counter as she took in a deep slow breath through her nostrils, taking the tests she divided them up to be opened by them both. Jay laid the dipped tests on its box. “I want to keep this baby, are you okay with that.?” She asked him with panicked eyes, trying to stay strong.

LANDON

Landon knew that the next tests Jaycee was planning on taking would only confirm what the others said. With five tests saying that his friend was pregnant, how could it be a false positive? It was pretty much impossible but he also knew that wasn't the right thing to say right now, not when Jaycee looked so nervous already. This was pretty similar to what he'd gone through with his sister six years ago. The disbelief that this could actually happen and the fear over what it would mean. Only this time he was the father and not just a concerned brother. Jaycee also wasn't the only one in disbelief. How could he have let this happen? Whenever someone asked him if he was planning on having more children his answer was always the same. Maybe in the future. Landon still remembered the conversation he had with Alison when she was thinking of giving Des a little sibling. He understood the reasoning behind it but he wasn't ready. For six years, he raised Elle on his own. He had help from his family and friends but it was different than having a partner to share the experience with. Landon always said that the next time he did it, it would be with someone he was in love with and wanted to spend his life with. And most importantly planned. And now here they are. He shook himself out of his thoughts at Jaycee's question and nodded. Having adopted his sister's baby, there was no way that he was going to be against keeping his own. "Of course I'm okay with that, and I'm going to be involved and present. I promise."

Jaycee.

Her hip rested against the sink countertop, with her arms crossed under her newly swollen chest. Should have been her first sign because she’s never been big up top. “I know you will, and knew you would. You’re a great father and I know this baby wasn’t planned. But he or she never could be a mistake. I was told it’s probably be impossible to be a mom, and you know it’s something that bothered me..” picking at her full bottom lip as her eyes showing how she zoned out, knowing and feeling he’ll be someone co parenting could be so easy with. “I’m just thankful it’s yours, and someone I trust. And you know I’m going to always love Elle as mine as well. And she can still come stay over to visit with her brother or sister while it’s my time. I would encourage it.. I’m rambling cause I’m so nervous, holy shit Lan..” she cupped her hands over her nose and mouth as she softly cried. “What if I’m horrible like my mom with my own child.. Don’t let me be my mom, please..” she shrugged softly and opened her arms needing to be held and he could probably use some comfort as well. “I have an appointment later today if you want to go. I’m okay with Elle go if you’re okay with it. They’ll be doing an ultrasound.. And hearing the heartbeat.” Her voice chokes up a bit at the thought of hearing something she prayed to one day hear.

LANDON

Even though this was very unexpected and not exactly what Landon had planned for the moment, he would never even think about referring to his child as a mistake. He was just grateful that at least it was with Jaycee. They might not be together like that, especially after he came out as gay, but they did love each other. She was always there for him, whether that was a shoulder to cry on or someone to help him with Elle. And he knew for a fact that she would be a great mother who would love their child unconditionally. Landon was quick to pull Jaycee in for a hug when she started crying, murmuring comforting words in her ear. “You could never be a horrible mum Jay, no way. You treat Elle like your own and you know she loves her cool aunt to pieces. This is something you’ve always wanted but thought you couldn’t have...this baby is going to be so loved and you’re going to be a great mum.” What he was saying was also a way of comforting himself. He went from planning on going back to college for his masters to finding out he was going to be a dad again. It wasn’t something easy to wrap his head around. “I’ll be there”, he reassured. “But I’ll try and find someone to look after Elle while we’re there. I need to wrap my head around it myself before I tell her about it. And you know that once Elle finds out she’s going to be a big sister she won’t keep the secret for very long.”

Jaycee.

Jaycee wanted to comfort him as well, knowing he had to be feeling some form of panic. Using her hands to rub his back, while she looked down at the tests that were all boldly positive. “Thank you, that means a lot. And you know if you still want to get your masters then go for it. I got Elle when you need me to.” Jaycee would have offered that regardless, because she loves that little girl to pieces. Laughing softly at agreeing needing to wrap their heads around the news. “I still can’t believe I’m pregnant.” Her eyes shined a bit from when she was crying, but she was beaming with a bright smile. “Well I guess after the appointment we can discuss different announcement looks. If you want to stay ahead of Miss Elle.” Smirking until her stomach growled causing her to laugh. “I can’t wait to eat after my appointment. I have to fast for blood work.” Scrunching her freckled nose as she playfully pouted.

LANDON

Landon knew that he could count on Jaycee to have his back, just like he would always have her back. She was being serious when she offered him to look after both Elle and the baby so he could get his masters done like he planned before all this happened. He just wasn’t sure he could do it now. When Elle was a baby and during the first years of her life before starting school, Landon was always around. He was present for all the big accomplishments like her first word and her first step. There was nothing he feared more than the baby not getting the same attention from him that Elle got. What if he was at a lecture that he couldn’t get out of while his child was learning how to walk? No, he would hate himself forever if that were to happen but he also didn’t want to make Jaycee feel guilty so he just smiled. “You’re the best, thank you.” Landon wasn’t expecting his day to turn into such a rollercoaster of emotions and it was finally setting in...he was going to be a dad again. Talk of announcements brought Landon out of his reverie. Shit. He was going to have to tell Roman and Aaron about this. They didn’t deserve to find out from some announcement on social media. After the appointment I promise to take you to McDonald’s or something”, he chuckled, hearing the way her stomach was growling.

Jaycee.

Leaning against the sink counter she just dazed out looking at the test, then down at her flat stomach. Brows furrowed as she thought how this was going to go, praying she didn’t disappoint herself or Landon in being a mother. Turning to her side she raised her sweater that was baggy over her plum colored yoga pants, looking from the mirror to her stomach and yeah she was bloating but she thought it was going to be a painful period. Tiniest little bump was evident but only if you really knew how small Jaycee was. “Hey I’ll take McDonald’s. Chocolate shake sounds really good right now.” She spoke while she dropped her sweater, blushing a bit. Probably looking like a weirdo looking at her stomach, or thinking she’ll freak out over gaining weight. And to be honest she was a little, but she’s stronger and would never ruin a chance to be a mom. “Are you okay?” She asked him in a soft tone, knowing she just fastened a seatbelt to a crazy ride for him. “I know it’s a lot.. I am still not sure if it’s true and probably won’t until the doctors appointment.” She pulled the ends of her sweater to bunch them up into her fisted hands as she laughed softly.

LANDON

Landon looked on as his friend lifted her sweater and looked down at her stomach. This might not be the first time Landon found himself about to raise a child, but it was a completely different situation then it was with Elle. With Elle it was a completely different experience because his sister was the one who was pregnant and she never showed any interest in being the one to raise her. As much as he loves his sister, Landon never quite managed to figure out how she kept herself so detached from the situation and from the baby growing inside her. Once Elle was born, his sister signed over her custody to him and took on the role of fun aunt without a second thought. It wasn’t going to be the same this time as Jaycee was obviously going to be a very big part and it left Landon wondering about what he should be doing. Was he supposed to act like a doting father to me to his partner even though he and Jaycee weren’t together? Hopefully he would get more than enough time to come to figure it out and get used to the idea. “Yeah I’m fine. It’s just...quite a situation and unexpected. This isn’t how I thought I’d have my second child but it is what it is.” He knew the chances that more than five pregnancy tests were wrong were slim but he didn’t say anything. If that thought reassured Jaycee, then he wasn’t about to ruin it.

Jaycee.

”It’s not how I’d picture having my first child. Neither of us planned this, and some how or some way we will figure it out. We’re friends before anything and Elle and this Baby  comes first.” She didn’t know what to expect, but she was definitely trying to hide she was upset. Holy hormones! Walking out of the bathroom after she cleaned up the mess she had made. Disinfecting the counter top was the least she could do, for getting upset and causing a scene. Uncrossing her arms from under her chest she held her hands up and looked up at him. “I’m sorry, that’s now the right way to speak to you. I don’t doubt you want to be in this babies life, and I know you’d want to be part of everything. So if you want to discuss living arrangements we can. I’d have my own room of course, and we can decorate both nurseries. Yours first, like I said earlier. I’m just repeating myself, yeah?” She pressed two fingers to each temple and massaged. “I just believe you and I could make this work. I don’t expect you to want to be with me just because. And I trust you’re not going to bring just anyone into our child’s life, unless you trusted them. Because I’ve seen you with Elle, so in a way maybe it was meant to happen this way. I can’t think of my baby as a mistake.. I know that much..” she laughed softly, before placing her hand to her neck to massage it. Her other hand going to her mouth as she yawned. “Sorry, I’m just so tired. I think I’m going to take a vacation as we figure things out, and my body adjusts to these hormones.”

LANDON

Landon wasn’t sure what he said to upset Jaycee. He was supportive and had every intention of helping raise this baby, but he didn’t think he could be blamed for being shocked. It’s not like they planned this and now all of a sudden he found himself about to become a dad again. He was caught off guard but Landon also knew that saying all that would just make things worse if his friend was already upset with him. So while he would usually argue at being talked to like that, he knew that keeping calm was key right now so he just tried his best to smile. “Exactly, Elle and the baby come first. I’m glad we’re in agreement.” If there was something he wouldn’t settle for was for his daughter to be made to feel like lesser to the baby but he knew that Jaycee would never do that. She loved Elle too much. “We will make this work and I’m going to be with you every step of the way. And you know that I don’t bring just anyone around Elle so I’ll do the same with our baby. I never said this baby was a mistake Jay, no child of mine could ever be a mistake. All I said was that it was unexpected and you can’t really tell me it wasn’t. That doesn’t mean I’m...upset about it, or anything like that.” Landon wished there was something he could say that would help the girl feel a little better about it all, but he wasn’t sure what that was. “We’re going to be okay...I promise.” 

Jaycee.

Hearing him out and speaking she felt like such an ass, Landon of all people. Someone she’s known for years and knew very well would never feel how her fears were screaming at her. Sitting on the end of his bed she sighed softly, before catching herself yawn. Placing her hands to her face as she shook her head, apologizing. “Lan..” she looked up at him with pure apologetic eyes, tears threatening to fall. “I’m so sorry if I was mean, holy shit what was that?” She gasped with her hand on her chest, trying to calm herself down a bit. Taking in slow breaths, before exhaling slower to relax her anxiety of the day. “I know all of that and I know you know Elle is just as equal to me. I think I just panicked and wanted you to know everything.” Two single tears fell from each eye as she sniffled a bit, while she looked down at her hands bunched up in her oversized sweater. “You know know..” she looked up smiling softly. “Elle is going to be the best big sister there is..” she imagined her excitement in wanting to hold her sibling for the first time, was something she’d be sure to catch not only for Landon but it’s a memory she wants for herself too. Using her sweater as she cleared her face up, she walked up to her friend and just hugged him. She needed it and she trusted his promises. “Did you know morning sickness is NOT morning sickness? I’d like to slap whoever came up with that term.” She tried to joke as she looked up at her sweet friend, now father of their child. Together, their family will no doubt be filled with laughter and fun. “I am hoping peppermint yeah I got will help, but then I get such heartburn after drinking it.” She laughed softly. 

LANDON

Landon didn’t hold it personally. When his sister was pregnant with Elle, he lost count of how many times she was close to snapping his head off over an innocent comment he made which she took personally. It was all part of the experience and the joys of being around a pregnant woman. Not that he was about to tell Jaycee that, he valued his life thank you very much. So he just smiled and shrugged good naturedly, which only turned more sympathetic when he noticed that she was crying. “Hey, it’s okay”, he mumbled, squeezing her comfortingly. “I’ve got thick skin and I know better than to get insulted over something like that.” If there was one thing he was grateful for, it was that he wouldn’t have to ever experience morning sickness himself. It was no secret that the name was very misleading and it wasn’t only experienced in the morning. “My sister used to swear by ginger tea and saltines. If you’re lucky, it might even help you avoid getting heartburn. Although I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want to try, ginger tea’s disgusting.” 

Jaycee.

Nodding her head, sniffling as he assured her it was okay. “I just, I wouldn’t ever talk to you like that. I know we’re both mentally freaking out and that’s okay..” Jay scrunched her nose at the idea of ginger tea, but she’d try anything natural and safe. It was dangerous to have morning sickness so much. Not only for her and the baby, but her past as well. Thankfully she’s strong and has a powerful group surrounding her, reminding her they’re her family. “I will give any a try, maybe pick some up after the appointment?” She asked with a soft tone,smiling. Reaching for her pink water bottle the entire dance crew had, she took a sip of water. Drinking her water as if she’d been dying of thirst, without being messy. “I swear I go through double waters bottles a day now.” She laughed softly, trying to stay hydrated with morning sickness was important and she’s always been self conscious of what she puts in her body. “You know I have nausea meds from when I.. well you know the past. And Google says they’re safe. But, this might be the only child I ever get a chance to carry and I’m just so protective already. Besides I’d want your opinion on anything like that too.” She spoke with her hands, her phone went off and she saw it was and email making her smile. She opened it and saw the head shots for the girls came in and showed him. “Those two are going to keep us all stressed. They’re so precious.” She leans in to look at them again. “Elle and Destiny’s head shots will be the models of dance for the studio. So when you walk in there’s my girls.” Her eyes lit up as she spoke about the girls and the dance academy. 

LANDON

“It’s okay, really...I know it’s a stressful time for both of us.” Landon wasn’t about to take it personally. This was a shock for both of them but he couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like for Jaycee, finding yourself pregnant after being sure that wouldn’t ever happen for you...that wasn’t something Landon could ever relate to. So he was going to do anything he could to help out and make the experience a little more bearable, even if it meant buying shitty ginger tea that was never ever going to drink himself and keeping it in his cupboard. He could understand her feeling of protectiveness towards the baby. Having just found out about the baby’s existence, he already felt like he loved them so he couldn’t even imagine what it felt like for Jaycee. But he wasn’t about to force his friend to feel like shit over an opinion that he wasn’t really entitled to anyways. After all, he wasn’t the one suffering from constant nausea. “Maybe check with the doctor while we’re at the appointment to make sure? If you get their go ahead then I don’t see why you shouldn’t take them, especially if they help you out”, he reasoned. Landon looked at the photos on Jaycee’s phone, a fond smile on his face. He loved those two girls with all his heart and it was heartwarming to see Jaycee love them just as much. This is what he meant when he said his friends in Kingsboro were like his family. “They’re going to get really big heads if you keep spoiling them like that.” The smile on his face made it obvious he was only teasing though. 

Jaycee.

Leaning her head against his shoulder, instant calm at how assuring he was. He always calmed her nerves in the craziest of situations. She was so nervous joining the show with him and Aaron but Landon was just so easy to get along with, with her at least. Anyone was to say otherwise she’d ask them what they did, no Landon. “Yeah I’ll ask the doctor, cause I’m scared I’d the ginger tea tastes as bad as you say it does. It won’t help me.” She giggled softly as she saw his face light up looking at the girls, those two ruled their world and they knew it. “They already know they control our lives, and we just added to it.” She bumped his shoulder playfully, before putting her phone in her back pocket. “I just want them to always be confident in themselves, not just their beauty. So I was adamant on them shooting while doing their leaps and warm ups. Of course they had to be little divas. But those head shots are basically for you and Landon. I’m just proud.” She smirked, shrugging her shoulders. Placing the flat of her hand her upper stomach as she felt a cold flush run over her, then got really hot. Holding her other hand to her mouth she walked fast to the bathroom and rushed before she threw up on his floor. Her long hair to the side, hoping none got in the toilet, (thankfully none did cause ew) she flushed it and rested her cheek on the cold porcelain and closed her eyes. “I’m surprised I lasted as long as I did before that happened..” she tried to joke, but wasn’t completely sure if she wasn’t going to sick again. 

————Time Skip ————

Jaycee.

After being woken up at 3 am with her water breaking. She was so scared but Landon had been the best coach she could have ever asked for. From feeding her ice chips, to using a cool washcloth on her forehead to keep her cool. When they got there she was dilated to a five and they gave her an epidural as soon as she was in their room. It was going so fast she never let go of his hand until they were able to sleep for a few hours before it was time to push. And it was as if it all was a blur once they placed their son on her chest, Jaycee looked up at Landon crying in a sweaty tired mess. “He’s here.. he’s so beautiful.. Hey so you’re the little dude that kicked all the time” she leaned her head against Landons smiling, but tired from all the pushing. They took him to weigh him and make sure he was all good before handing him to Landon, bundled up. It was a moment she’ll never forget, watch him take in his son. “He looks so much like you.” She was still a crying mess, but she laughed. The baby wrapping his tiny hand around Landons finger, as he pouted a bit.

LANDON

It was almost like time stopped having any meaning from the moment he got the text from Jaycee at 3am, who he thought was sleeping in the other room, to tell him her waters broke. From getting dressed, to texting everyone that the baby was coming so Elle wouldn’t be left sleeping on her own, it wasn’t hard to believe that he completely lost track of time. The benefit of having to drive to the hospital so early in the morning was that the usual Kingsboro traffic was pretty much non-existent and pretty soon they were being admitted to their private room. With Jaycee being dilated to five, Landon encouraged her to get some sleep after the epidural was administered. It was going to be a very tiring process and his friend needed all the sleep she could get. The plan wasn’t for him to fall asleep as well, sitting in the chair next to the bed and holding Jaycee’s hand but having not gotten any sleep at all before getting the girl’s text, and rushing around to get everything for the unexpected labour, maybe it wasn’t that surprising that he ended up drifting off for a few hours as well. Landon tried his best to be supportive to Jaycee throughout the labour. He fed her ice chips to make sure she didn’t get dehydrated and cooled her face down with a washcloth every time it seemed like it was getting to be too much. The situation was completely different than when his sister gave birth to Elle but one thing that was exactly the same was the helplessness he felt at seeing someone he cared about going through so much pain in order to bring to life his child. All he could do was to be a supportive and encouraging presence for Jaycee. The emotions that went through him as soon as his son was born and placed on Jaycee’s chest was indescribable. That was his boy. His son. It was both surreal and one of the most beautiful moments of his life. “Look at him”, he whispered, in awe at the sight in front of him.

One of his biggest worries after finding out about Jaycee’s pregnancy was that he would never be able to love his son as much as he loved Elle. How was it possible, when Elle was his whole world and had been for six years? It seemed impossible to think that he could hold so much love in his heart. It wasn’t something he ever told Jaycee because he didn’t want to worry her and was glad he didn’t. Because the moment the nurse handed him his son to hold, all bundled up and a small finger wrapped around his, Landon was hooked. It’s true what people say, the moment another child is born your heart grows a little more to make space for another. His baby was barely a few minutes long and Landon already felt like he would do anything for him. “Hey Baby S”, he cooed, tears streaming down his face and yet still able to make reference to the joke him and Jaycee had going on. He walked closer to the bed and sat down so that Jaycee would be able to get a closer look at their son. “Look angel, that’s mummy.” 

Jaycee.

Look at him, and the way he just kept looking at his dad was enough to bring more tears. Jay was exhausted and honestly wouldn’t have made it through without how he comforted her. After they got her fixed up and comfortably resting on an ice pack, thankful that she was still numb. The doctor congratulated Landon and handed him a pack of cigars, as they let them know the lactation nurse would be in soon. Scooting over so he could sit better the best she could. “Hey my sweet little miracle, look at you.” She cooed, sniffling. The moment he was on her chest, Jaycee was so helplessly in love with their son. Looking into Landons eyes, both of them a teary mess, her chin trembled. “Thank you for giving me the best gift there is.” Her voice broke, her eyes filled with so much love and joy. Watching her best friend hold their son was something else. Jaycees eyes were heavy as the days of not sleeping weighed on her, but she was trying so hard to fight it. “I can’t stop staring at him, he’s.. Perfect. Our little Easter Bunny.” She ran the tip of her pointer finger over his nose. “He is definitely playing by his own rules, already.” She joked sleepily as the lactation nurse came in, and helped Jaycee learn how to hold him right and he latched right away. The nurse gushing how amazing he was doing and that she wasn’t even needed. Of course Jaycees heart swelled when she said that, but she just watched him in awe. Bonding even more over feeding him, gently caressing his head. “I love you so much, every breath I take is for you. I will love you beyond my last breath.” Tears still flowing, as she laughed a bit. Still in awe and shock he was in her arms, nursing. Once he was done and she was able to burp him, handing him back to his daddy. “You ready to go see daddy again, I know he can’t get enough of you either.” She felt so happy and drowsy. “If I fall asleep I’m sorry in advance.” She joked knowing better.

LANDON

This was one of the most emotional moments of Landon’s life so he couldn’t even begin to imagine what it felt like for Jaycee. His friend thought she’d never get to have something like this and now here they were, looking down at their son. Jaycee was right in calling him their little miracle. “Thank you”, he said, voice breaking as he got emotional again. If someone had told him a year ago that he would be here, looking at his son with Jaycee right there with him, he would have laughed. Now he couldn’t imagine his life any other way. Landon watched with a fond smile as Jaycee fed their son and then took him back in his arms once he was done. “I can’t believe you’re even apologising. You literally just gave birth Jay, I’d be worried if you weren’t sleeping”, he said, although his eyes barely left their baby’s face. “Get some sleep love, we’ll be right here when you wake up.” 

Jaycee.

Jaycee couldn’t say anything when he thanked her back, all she could do was nod as she choked up. The baby was making the cutest noises as he stretched and yawned. “I think he thinks it’s nap time too, look at you taking all the credit.” She joked, leaning over to kiss their son on his head, as a tear slid down her cheek. “You should get some sleep too, lord knows I’m not big enough for this bed to take it all up. If you decide to chill with him in your arms and watch tv you won’t bother me.” She a assured him, turning on her side to face them but giving him enough room to be able to lay on his side or back. Not even remembering when she fell asleep for a good four hours before she popped her eyes opened, looking around. And smiled when she saw the baby resting on Landons chest and they’re out. The nurse came to check on her and the baby quietly helping her to the bathroom. About 30 minutes passes when she emerges showered in her nursing gown she got with its matching floral robe, and fluffy slippers, feeling more alert and fresh. Gently crawling into the bed, wincing a bit.

#disord #thread #c: jaycee #tw: pregnancy #tw: accidental pregnancy #tw: morning sickness #tw: labour #tw: breastfeeding

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 158

Chapter Summary - Danielle and Diana look after Lucy and talk over a few things. 

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

Copyright for the photo is the owners, not mine. All image rights belong to their owners

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade 

Tom could not help but erupt in laughter at the picture that was sent to him, so much so, people around him looked at him startled, for which he had to apologise.

Emma had been gone for four hours from her home and in that four hours, she had contacted Danielle eight times to check on Lucy, which Danielle informed him of but not in a snide or ridiculing manner, merely a comment in general conversation. To settle Emma's anxiety at being away from her eight-week-old daughter for the first time exceeding two hours, Danielle had taken to taking pictures of the infant to send her mother to show Emma just how calm and relaxed her daughter was, leaving out the fact that Lucy did have a good cry for herself at realising that though she knew the smells of the two women that were caring for her, neither of them were her mother but she settled in the end, thanked mostly by Danielle's idea of the muslin cloth that Emma had used earlier and it having Emma's smell. She also changed her shirt to one she told Emma to wear the day before so that she could settle Lucy better, it seemed to have worked, Lucy was content overall. For all of the pictures, Danielle had a method of telling the time on-screen to show Emma that she was okay. Some of the pictures were of Lucy sleeping or drinking a bottle of expressed milk Emma had left. One was one that Emma had actually sent Tom of Danielle and an awake Lucy both looking at the television, the cycling race on with intense focus on their faces. That one made Tom worried about Danielle's issue with maternal urges. She looked entirely comfortable and content in the picture. But there was one picture, which, going by the message that accompanied it was done entirely in jest, of Lucy, looking a little startled and looking to the side with a still image from the raptors in the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park as the background. It was so ridiculous and silly that it was hilarious, causing Tom's loud laugh in the Wimbledon centre-court food tent that earned the worried looks from those around him, including a momentary startling of the royal bodyguards. Emma enjoyed the picture also, apologising to Danielle for being such a worried but Danielle dismissed her and told her she was more than happy to give her peace of mind.

Danielle, for her time, was spending time watching her cycling, dealing with Lucy and cooking some food to freeze for Emma and Jack since Jack was working full weeks and Emma was still learning to juggle Lucy and her home. She showed Diana the picture she altered that she sent Emma resulting in her erupting in laughter that Danielle knew well was almost identical to the way Tom laughed, something she loved, him having clearly gotten it from her.

She used Lucy's naps as times to sort of few things she knew Emma wanted sorting in her home, including putting up a shelf. As she did so, Diana looked at her almost in awe. “You are a very capable woman, I would not have been able to do that in my day.”

“My Mam was forced to know a lot because Dad would be working the most of the time, especially in the Spring,” She explained as she screwed in the piece of wood in. “And of course, I was there with her, so I learnt a bit from her.”

“What do you think she would make of all of this?”

Danielle sighed. “They'd be really excited. She'd have rung everyone and anyone. Dad and she would have probably come over for a few days because of it. Dad insisting on going for a whiskey with Tom, of course, and I would have her here talking about the finer details of things with us.” Her smile fell slightly and she bit her lips together as she thought of her parents and how they would be elated at her and Tom getting engaged. “I am really going to miss having them for this. This is the first big thing that not having them here for it will hurt. I mean, moving to England was a big thing, I know but I'd probably never have done that if they had been alone and I did it to her away from home. Plus my getting my career, as great an achievement as I know it is, was not like a college graduation or anything, marriage and a family were the ones I felt that if they happened, would be the hardest and being honest, knowing I don't have them for it really hurts and is the only thing I feel is missing from this wonderful event.” Tears began to well in her eyes. “I am so grateful to have you and Emma, I swear but…”

“Don't worry, I understand,” Diana assured. “I have the honour of being here for my girls’ weddings, and for my two granddaughters, I cannot imagine how lonely it feels to not have your parents here sometimes, I wish you had them but not having them here now brought you to our family and gave my daughter a true friend, my son a partner who truly loves and appreciates him and me a lovely neighbour and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.” Diana hugged Danielle close to her, Danielle almost gripping her too tightly. For a moment, Danielle felt like she couldn't let go, Diana said nothing but held her, knowing that Danielle required the contact. It was when Lucy informed them that she woken again that Diana rubbed Danielle's back for a moment and pulled back. “You are an incredible young woman, Elle Hughes and we love you so much. Knowing that you and Tom are taking this step together is wonderful and we are so happy for both of you. We always saw you like family, this only makes it official.”

Danielle said nothing as she went and got Lucy out of her cot, talking gently to her as she changed her, making her smile as she cleaned the mess she had made of herself and bringing her to her grandmother, who had used the time to ready a bottle, curling Lucy against her as she did and loving the smell of young baby against her, knowing it would do her hormones no good yet loving it all the same.

*

“All alone?” Tom turned around to see Benedict smiling at him four feet away.

“Apparently babysitting a goddaughter is far more interesting than tennis.” Tom beamed at his friend, embracing him in a hug. “How are you?”

“Good, how were the few weeks on the south coast? You look as though you went on holiday to the Caribbean. And if Danielle is that excited to mind children, there's two more she can look after any time she is willing.” He smiled.

“Don't say that to her, she already adores those boys. She is wondering when she can spoil them again, apparently, Christmas and birthdays are not enough.”

“You'll have to just bite the bullet and give her one,” Ben joked.

“Not yet.”

“Again with 'yet’, I suppose if you want to do it the conventional way, you're still a few steps off that.”

“We're going through them though.”

“You need to get a ring on that finger, that's the next one.”

Tom could only laugh at Ben's words. “No, I don't.”

“Yes, you do. I mean, Sophie and I did it a little skew-ways but...what's with that grin?”

Tom only continued to grin widely. “Are you and Sophie free any time this week?”

“We have a few things on, would a breakfast work someday, usual place?”

“No, not public, ours.”

“Wait, she's not pregnant, is she?” Ben inquired in a low voice.

“Not that I am aware and going by the swim she did yesterday, I don't think she is aware either if she is.”

“Then why the privacy?” Again Tom smirked. “Tom?” Tom's grin increased. “You've asked her, haven't you?” Tom gave a slight nod. “And?”

“She said yes.”

Ben's face went through the several phases from shocked to elated before he embraced his friend tightly. “Congratulations,” he whispered. “I…fucking hell, congratulations.” he chuckled.

“Thank you. You're the first to know outside of families.”

“Luke?”

“Tomorrow, face to face.”

“Mum's the word,” Ben promised. “Sophie will be delighted. I’m thrilled for you both. How is Danielle with it all, especially with that weird Irish thing of waiting so long?”

“She’s good, she seems incredibly happy with it all, we're talking about next summer,” Tom explained.

“That’s a long time.”

“A year is long in some respects, short in others. If that's what she feels comfortable with, then I am more than happy to wait. Just having her agree is enough at this stage. She…”

Benedict chuckled heartily. “It's great to see you this happy, Tom, it really is,” he clapped his shoulder before the tannoy informed them that the match was starting. “I had best go, I told my father I would be quick. Where are you?”

“Royal box.”

Ben laughed for a moment. “I bet Elle got a kick out of that. We will arrange breakfast one of the days do, check if Thursday works.” He declared as he walked to the stands to watch the match leaving Tom to grin before turning to take his seat.

#i hate you i love you #chapter 158 #wolfpawn #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic

[robotslenderman]

Avallac’h headcanon

IDK if I’ve shared this before but here it is. This got long, so it’s under a cut.

Avallac’h spent the first few years of his life with his single father (which in my HC is normal for elves), Caomhan, out in rural Elfland, after his mother weaned him. His father was a musician who carved and sold wooden instruments, and taught little Crevan how to play the pipes.

When he was five years old some sages from Tir na Lia came visiting to conduct genetic tests on the local children. This test discovered he had a mutation that was known to enhance magical power, so because of that, Crevan ended up being taken away to be involved in the Elder Blood project, which by that time was nearing completion with the marriage of Shiadal to Auberon 

Caomhan could do shit all about it.

Once taken to Tir na Lia, Crevan was pretty much enrolled in a public mage school. After further genetic testing, finding that some of his other genes only made his key gene even more prominent, he was enrolled in a prestigious private one at the expense of the state.

As for how little Crevan coped with being far away from home in the big city -- he didn’t. He was pretty much a mess from the moment he left home, constantly crying for his father and pining for home. Although he got better as he got older, starting to forget his early childhood, he never stopped missing home. His older half sister through his mother, whom I named Melenaya, ended up hearing about him and searched him out. She was no more maternal than other female elves, but she was in contact with their mother when Crevan was born and remembered him as a baby. While he was at the academy she often tutored him to help him get ahead.

When Crevan was around ten years old he, and about a dozen other elves, had their genetic tests submitted to Auberon for review. A few years later (because they’re so long lived that elves take fucking ages to decide shit), with the help of his advisors and experts on the Elder Blood project, Auberon decided that Crevan would be the breeding partner of his future daughter.* This was seen as a great honour and when Crevan told his father by letter -- whom he’d kept in close contact with, despite not having seen him since five -- Caomhan was very, very proud.

* This is presuming that children of the Elder Blood line are always female -- I can’t quite remember if this is actually the case, but I do remember the majority of Ciri’s known ancestors on the Dorren line were female, such as Lara herself, Rhiannon, Rhiannon’s daughter, Pavetta, etc. I may be wrong and I’m too lazy to look it up rn.

As a teenager Crevan ended up developing an interest in the Elder Blood project due to his future involvement as a participant, and that’s where his studies ended up taking him. Lara was born when he was in his thirties, and as an apprentice (since apprenticeships last a long time for Aen Elle), he helped examine her and conduct genetic tests. He tried to avoid meeting her where possible while she was growing up due to the Weirdness, citing the elven name of the Westermark Effect to avoid offending Auberon and Shiadhal, but was still required to occasionally keep tabs on her magical development. 

When he was finally made into a full elven sage in his forties, the first thing he did was visit his father again. He could barely remember him, beyond the constant exchange of letters they made, but they were able to pick up their close bond where they left off. Their bond is why, to this day, Crevan made the unusual step of referring to Caomhan in his full name instead of just his mother, Macha.

Once she was an adult in her forties and had completed her education I accidentally typed aeducation lmao he finally let his guard down and let himself get to know Lara, and that’s when he fell in love with her. He found they balanced each other perfectly -- Crevan was very dreamy, Lara very grounded. She was very quick to anger, but Crevan was very good at reining in her rage instead of getting defensive when on the end of it. It’d be the same kind of balance that would make him a good partner to Ciri. Lara did love Crevan, but not in the way she’d come to love Cregan later.

(In my headcanon, Lara met teenaged Cregan while on an expedition to the human world, and introduced to the local “madman.” Lara quickly deduced that Cregan suffered from schizophrenia, and therefore humans could too, and was able to use the knowledge from Tir na Lia to brew him a potion that kept his symptoms under control. Thanks to Lara teaching him how to make this medicine, Cregan was able to re-enrol in school as a mage, having had it interrupted when his symptoms appeared, and the two of them kept in touch. When he was in his mid twenties Lara met him again and fell in love with him. Unlike Crevan, Cregan [whose nickname, I always notice, is very similar to Crevan] was light and cheerful and often making jokes and making Lara laugh, compared to Crevan, who was prone to melancholy and only showed any wit when he was being sarcastic out of annoyance. Although Crevan was always in denial about it -- there was never any competition. Crevan paled compared to Cregan’s joyful smile and sharper wit. Lara loved Crevan, for a time, but it was only with Creggenan that she was happy.)

(Rhiannon inherited Cregan’s schizophrenia. Because both of her parents were apparently dead [ctrl+F “Ida Emean” to skip to the relevant bit], Rhiannon never knew the recipe of the potion that Cregan used to keep his symptoms in check. When hers appeared, she was completely lost in delusions and symptoms, and was branded “mad” by the humans around her.)

Then Cregan happened. Lara died. Rhiannon was born, grew up, and died young, always living in the shadow of her parents. God I find Rhiannon so fucking tragic why does NOBODY TALK ABOUT POOR RHIA, EVER, THAT STORY IS SO FUCKING SAD

Years later, Avallac’h’s half sister camps in a certain lab when she’s looking for him after he’s accused of treason, and eventually gets in touch with him again, helping him out when he needs it. Having never forgiven Lara, or the Elder Blood project or anyone other than Avallac’h involved for the heartbreak her baby brother went through, she was more than happy to make Ciri think they were lovers and to chew her the fuck out, because “FUCK LARA DORREN, AND FUCK ALL OF HER ANCESTORS, AND THE HORSES THEY RODE IN ON.”

(Later, even after Cirillac’h happens in my headcanon, Melenaya and Ciri were on very cold terms. Melenaya only tolerated Ciri because her brother threatened never to speak to her again if she didn’t, but the relationship remained cool for a long time until Melenaya eventually realised the she-witcher was actually going to stick around, and dropped it. In contrast, Caomhan thought his son was very odd for choosing a human mate, but was quite happy to support it in a well-meaning-but-racist way because she clearly made his son happy. “You’re very eloquent for a human!” Ciri was so amused by how enthusiastic his support was that she couldn’t even be mad about it, making Caomhan the ONLY individual in the multiverse who could get away with that shit.)

#Avallac'h #headcanon #aen elle #the Witcher #TW3 #drunkpost #Lara Dorren

[whereismywarden]

OC Masterlist

@kiraia​ pointed out (rightfully so) that I made quite a few vague posts about my OCs, but that I’ve never properly introduced them. It’s true, mostly because I tend to wait until they are well developed to properly do anything with them, which doesn’t happen all that often. So consider this a formal introduction to my current OCs :)

(Under a cut because there are quite a bunch of them. I hope it works on mobile, because otherwise yikes! I’m very sorry.)

Sad Mages Worldstate

It’s probably the one I talk about the most. It’s the most developed worldstate, with the most developed OCs and I’ve written a lot of fics about them.

The Warden: Ana Surana [Tag | Complete bio | Fanfictions]

pairings: Ana x Daylen Amell (friends with benefits), Ana x Alistair (DAO romance), Ana x Carver (current pairing, now married) + I occasionally throw Isabela into the mix because reasons.

Born in the Gallows and taken to an orphanage in Highever until her magic manifested.

Grew up close to Anders, Jowan, Amell and (to a lesser extent) Finn.

Had a baby that she was forced to give to the Chantry.

Main DAO choices include: romancing Alistair, getting her heart broken after making him king, stupidly refusing to do Morrigan’s ritual and watching him sacrifice his life for her.

Later she starts dating Carver (whom she actually met at Ostagar where they had a brief fling before the Battle).

Takes part in the Mage Underground and helps Anders build his bomb.

Starts hearing the Calling shortly before DAI.

Is Hawke’s contact during HLtA.

The Champion: Alwyn Hawke [Tag | Complete bio | Fanfictions]

pairings: Alwyn x Anders (DA2 romance, on and off), Alwyn x Cullen (one time), Alwyn x Rylen (post DAI, considering making them endgame, not sure yet).

Purple Hawke.

Carver becomes a warden.

Supports the mages.

Develops a close friendship with Ana.

Breaks up with Anders after the Chantry explosion, wishing he’d trusted him enough to share his plan with him. They do get back together later on.

Is the first one to learn about Ana hearing the Calling.

Stays behind in the Fade during HLtA, but eventually finds a way out.

He was found by Inquisition scouts in the Western Approach, suffering from amnesia.

Later falls in love with Rylen.

(Note that I still need to update that last part into his bio.)

The Inquisitor: Violette Surana [Tag | Complete bio | Fanfictions]

pairings: Violette x Orsino (once twice), Violette x Samson (current partner).

Ana’s mum.

Orlesian who grew up in Ferelden during the occupation.

Was taken to the Gallows at age 13.

Was a close friend of Malcolm Hawke.

Had her baby (Ana) taken by the Chantry. Later escaped.

Hates the Chantry.

Attends the Conclave in the hopes that Ana might be there.

Starts sleeping with Samson after his capture because he basically said fuck the Chantry to her face and it turned her on.

Hardened Leliana becomes Divine.

Other OC: Neriah Amell-Hawke

Is Ana’s daughter. She got her out of the orphanage after the Blight (thanks, Leliana).

Her father is Daylen Amell. Carver adopted her when he married her mama.

Is 18 as of Trespasser.

Second Chances Worldstate

This one started off as an AU for a fic starring Ana and Alistair which is why these two worldstates are so similar. The point of divergence is that Jowan went to Amell for help instead of Ana for some reason.

The Warden: Daylen Amell [Tag | Fanfictions]

pairings: Day x Ana (friends with benefits), Day x Morrigan (DAO romance and while I did consider for a while not having him follow her through the eluvian, I changed my mind. There’s too much growth potential.)

His father was Maurevar Carver, because I say so.

Main DAO choices include: Sparing Loghain, Alistair becoming a drunk, not doing Morrigan’s ritual because he can just throw Loghain at the Archdemon (which he did).

Helps Ana get their daughter out of the Kirkwall orphanage. Bails on them right afterwards.

Does follow Morrigan through the eluvian and actually ends up being a decent dad to Kieran.

Does not become Ferelden’s Warden-Commander.

The Champion: Alwyn Hawke (yes, again)

Like I said, this was originally an AU, so it made sense to keep the same Hawke. There are quite a few differences, however.

pairings: none.

Does not bring Anders to the Deep Roads. Carver dies.

Suffers from severe depression afterwards.

Goes from purple to full blue after Leandra’s death.

Stays behind in the Fade. Probably won’t make it out in this worldstate.

The Inquisitor: Asaara Adaar [Tag | Fanfictions]

pairings: Asaara x Cullen (starts before DAI, now married).

Meets Cullen shortly before the Chantry explosion. They fall in love.

Not going into too much details because it will be part of Second Chances’ main story.

Other OCs: Ana Surana and Neriah [Main fic | Other fics]

Again, can’t go into too much detail because spoilers.

pairings: Ana x Carver (before the Deep Roads expedition anyway), Ana x Alistair.

Day brings Ana to Kirkwall shortly after the Blight to meet their daughter. She ends up staying after they get Neriah out of the orphanage.

Single mom. Works as a waitress.

They find drunk Alistair in their garbage. Ana wants to help him get better.

Other OC: Issala Adaar [Tag]

pairings: Issala x Varric (post-DAI).

Is Asaara’s overexcited little sister.

Likes to tinker with explosives.

Built a handheld cannon. It’s clunky, not very accurate and is prone to misfire. In other words, it still needs a lot of work.

Varric thinks she’s adorable so he made her his personal bodyguard.

Angry Dalish Worldstate

The Warden: Shaelyn Mahariel [Tag | Fanfictions]

pairings: Lyn x Tamlen (Origin), Lyn x Bethany, (considering Lyn x Alistair between DA2 and DAI but even that might be too cruel.)

Doesn’t want to be a warden.

DAO choices include: Alistair remaining with the wardens because he doesn’t want to be king.

No in-game romance, she was too heartbroken after losing Tamlen.

Eventually starts dating Bethany.

Travels to the Free Marches after the death of her clan to kill the man responsible.

Almost dies in the resulting fight against Hawke (thank the Creators Anders was there).

Goes home and confesses to Bethany that she almost killed her brother and that she would have done it had he not been so badass. They break up.

The two of them reconcile post-DAI, after Hawke and Merrill’s wedding.

The Champion: Kris Hawke [Tag]

pairings: Kris x Merrill (now married).

Blue Hawke.

Sadly couldn’t save Merrill’s clan.

Didn’t want to hurt Lyn that badly during their fight, he was just defending himself. Deeply regrets it afterwards.

The Inquisitor: no one specific yet, but likely a Lavellan romancing Solas.

Alistair stays behind in the Fade.

Elves in Luuuuv Worldstate

The Warden: Kallian Tabris [Tag | Fanfictions]

pairings: Tabs x Alistair (DAO romance)

Probably the most canon-compliant OC.

Main DAO choices include: making Alistair king with Anora as queen and becoming his mistress.

Madly in love.

Will have a happy ending.

No Hawke or Inquisitor yet.

Homecoming Worldstate

The Warden: Elaine Cousland [Tag]

pairings: Elle x Nathaniel (pre-DAO, now ex-husband), Elle x Leliana (DAO romance), Elle x Sebastian (current).

Was BFF with Anora during their childhood.

Actually met Sebastian before he was sent to the Chantry. The two of them had similar lifestyles back then, so when Elle visited Starkhaven with her father, the two of them developed a rivalry of sorts in their romantic pursuits (think Merteuil and Valmont, but a lot more light-hearted). They do spend one night together after learning that he is going to be sent to the Chantry.

Eventually fell in love and married Nate. They kept their relationship a secret, however. They divorced after the Blight.

Main DAO choices include: romancing Leliana, making Alistair king with Anora as queen, sparing Loghain and performing the ritual.

Her relationship with Leliana didn’t survive the distance.

Leaves the Wardens after the Chantry explosion and basically goes on the run from everyone because she feels responsible for what happened.

Helps Sebastian reclaim his throne. They fall in love. (I’m currently writing a fic about this, actually)

Still unsure about her DAI fate. Either she replaces Hawke in HLtA and stays behind in the Fade, or she becomes Inquisitor.

The Champion: Violetta Hawke [Tag | Fanfictions]

pairings: Letta x Isabela (DA2 romance).

Yes, she was totally named after Violette.

Is Kris’ sister.

Carver becomes a Templar.

Spared Anders.

Sails into the sunset with Isabela.

DAI fate will depend on what I decide to do with Elle.

The Inquisitor: no one yet.

Loghain survives HLtA.

I am considering having Neriah (yes, again) be the Herald with someone else as Inquisitor since she’s only a kid. In this worldstate, she grew up in Kirkwall’s orphanage before being taken to the Gallows. She escapes the massacre and Carver eventually takes her under his wing.

I'm planning to have two additional worldstates (I want one per warden origin). One called "Happy Dwarves" with a male Brosca romancing Zevran and one called "Dead Heroes" with a male Aeducan romancing Leliana (and probably Alwyn again, idk). I also have a couple of Cadashes that I want to put somewhere, a woman romancing Josie and a man romancing Divine Cassandra. Idk yet if they'll be Inquisitors or if I'll just add them to one of the existing worldstates. Odds are one will be Inquisitor while the other just tags along.

I probably missed a few things here and there, but that’s basically the gist of it. Thanks to anyone who actually stuck to the end, lmao.

#dragon age #oc masterpost #ana surana #alwyn hawke #violette surana #neriah amell-hawke #daylen amell #asaara adaar #issala adaar #shaelyn mahariel #kris hawke #kallian tabris #elaine cousland #violetta hawke #long post

[itsjustascarecrow]

hap birth to Ellody Marhn! born on Relona 1st, 57 BBY!

Parker’s second romantic partner, and thus Barrow’s dad! the two met b/c they’re essentially in the same profession, just w/ different pirate crews. they also met towards the end of Parker’s career as the pirate queen she was, but the two of them never really thought about settling down together. not to mention they were never really part of the same crew; Parker had her own while Ellody was merely working for another one before eventually starting a crew of his own. but they did work together often enough, which is how their relationship grew to the point where they eventually had a child together, and that’s how Ellody was able to convince Parker to officially retire. plus, by that point she felt like she’d had a good run of it, so it made sense to raise their daughter comfortably back on Parker’s home planet of Pamarthe while Ellody took on the remnants of her old crew and continue w/ the whole piracy thing. also i guess it could be a way for him to pay child support, djhjgjh.

but ye, he and Parker were never married, nor did they ever consider their relationship to be a super serious thing, but they still enjoy being Barrow’s parents. part of Parker’s conditions for finally retiring was that he would visit as often as he could so Barrow could know who her father is, and of course he was more than willing to do so. Barrow def grew up as a momma’s girl, but her dad was still a pleasant part of her life too.

~one year later...

i’m stating this for the record before i lose the idea for the umpteenth time; his former crew he was w/ when he met Parker was called The Purgatory, and the crew he started after the fact he called the People of Limbo. i don’t think it was entirely made up of whoever was left of the Siren’s Wail (Parker’s crew); it also contained maybe some friends of his who left Purgatory w/ him, and then prob just some others they all picked up along the way. but as for like anyone specific, i have no idea currently. i also don’t think Parker’s former first mate stayed w/ Elle either; maybe they also retired, but frankly i can’t be asked to consider who exactly all these people are, kjhgskj. at the end of the day, Elle’s the type to take in just about anyone b/c he believes in second chances.

#originally i think i didn't have him as a part of barrow's life at all #but honestly the more i thought about him the less he seemed like the type #like if nothing else parker's just not the type to commit to anyone but he totally respects that #so they're both totally cool w/ basically being distant domestic partners i guess?? would be the term for it?? idk but yeah #barrow gets fairly regular visits from her dad and he always brings her back some Neat Shit from his escapades b/c he's cool like that #sw oc tag #star wars #random bullshit #ellody marhn #siren's wail #cassidy

[lilyjcollins-news]

Lily Collins :“I want to dig deep, tell the truth and be more brave” by Jane Mulkerrins.

(click here to see the photoshoot and here to go to the website.)

The day before we meet, Lily Collins had what felt like a breakthrough encounter. At the end of a short, on-camera interview, the journalist had asked where she lived. Los Angeles, she told him, where her mother was born and raised, and where she has lived since the age of five, when her parents divorced. He then asked where her father lived. England, and partly in the US now, too, she answered. And what did her father do for a living? After some stifled giggling from the crew, Collins, who has just turned 30, gently explained her parentage. “And the guy just looked at me with the biggest eyes,” she laughs. “He’s like, ‘I’m sorry, what did you just say? Oh God, now I feel silly.’”

She insists that she was very grateful for his ignorance. “I’m so proud of my family, but I have also worked really hard to carve my own path and to not have that define me.’”

The daughter of superstar musician Phil Collins and his second wife, Jill Tavelman, she admits that her famous surname has inevitably opened doors, but insists that nobody has ever “made a phone call” for her. “I did get told that I could have other ways in,” she shrugs, when we meet on a rainy New York afternoon. “but I never wanted to give anyone the opportunity to say: ‘Well, she only got X or Y because of that.’ I knew it would take longer to do it on my own, but it would be so much more worth it.”

Collins’s insistence on carving her own path is now paying off, with two high-profile films – Tolkien, and Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, and the US launch of the BBC miniseries Les Miserables, for which her performance as the tragic Fantine is already creating some early awards buzz.

Tolkien, a biopic of the author’s early life, stars Nicholas Hoult as JRR Tolkien, the philologist and author of The Hobbit and the Lord of the Ringsseries, while Collins plays Edith Bratt, his childhood sweetheart and, later, his wife, who was the inspiration for Lúthien Tinúviel, the elvish princess in Tolkien’s Middle-earth. “I had auditioned to play an elven character in one of Peter Jackson’s movies, and I didn’t get it… but I’ve ended up playing the woman who inspired the elven princess,” grins Collins. It is her most mainstream, highly anticipated film to date, and a world away from the romcom roles she was getting five years ago. While there’s a heavy focus on Tolkien’s male friendships – the inspirations for his “fellowship” in his books, Bratt is fully fleshed-out and three-dimensional, too, not some flimsy, token love interest. “She was very creative and very passionate and driven, and he was intellectually stimulated by her,” says Collins. Bratt and Tolkien were both orphans. “At that time women of her status and in her position weren’t really afforded the opportunity to seek higher,” says Collins. “But she encouraged him to continue on his path. It’s very selfless, and, at times, heartbreaking.”

She sees a similar selflessness in Fantine, her once-vivacious character in Les Miserables, who becomes a prostitute and sells her hair and teeth in order to feed her child. “I died on day two of filming,” says Collins, with a laugh. She sent a picture of herself in character to her mother, who replied, “No one should have to see their daughter like this.”

“My choices have tended to go quite dark,” admits Collins of her recent roles. Just three days ago, she finished filming Inheritance, a forthcoming thriller in which she stars alongside Simon Pegg. “That’s incredibly dark, too. I really enjoy playing these characters that, under the surface, have so much more going on than they are saying, or who seem like they are barely keeping it together.

“I’ve always believed that asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength,” she continues. “I have a tattoo that says: ‘True delicacy is not a fragile thing.’ You can look delicate, but it doesn’t mean that you’re fragile.” I surmise, from her having it made permanent in ink, that people have, perhaps, underestimated her in the past.

Undoubtedly the darkest of her recent projects is Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, about the serial killer Ted Bundy, who murdered more than 30 girls and women in seven US states in the 1970s. The title comes from the judge’s summation of Bundy’s acts when sentencing him to death. Collins plays Elizabeth Kloepfer, the killer’s long-term girlfriend who is convinced of his innocence, with Zac Efron playing a charismatic and persuasive Bundy.

While preparing for the role, over the Christmas holidays, Collins recounts how she would wake every night at 3.05am. “I would go downstairs and have a cup of tea, trying to figure out why I had woken up again.” Then, she says, “I started being woken up by flashes of images, like the aftermath of a struggle.” She went to the internet to investigate. “I discovered that 3am is the time when the veil between the realms is the thinnest and one can be visited.” She began to believe women who were murdered by Bundy were, perhaps, trying to contact her. “I didn’t feel scared – I felt supported. I felt like people were saying: “We’re here listening. We’re here to support. Thank you for telling the story.”

Collins tells me all of this in a completely matter-of-fact manner, as if receiving messages from long-dead murder victims were a perfectly normal part of preparing for a film. It’s pretty much the only moment in our time together when she seems more Californian than British. Even her looks – porcelain skin, dark hair and dramatic eyebrows – are eminently more London than LA. And, while in person her accent is pure California, on screen in Tolkien, her clipped, turn-of-the-century English consonants and vowels are flawless, as are her more working-class ones for Fantine. She looks deeply relieved when I tell her so. “I did worry that people were going to be like, ‘Well, she is actually British, her accent should really be better,’” she laughs. “There’s an extra level of pressure. I worked with a dialect coach as I needed it to be absolutely spot-on.”

Collins was born in Guildford, Surrey, at the height of her father’s success – six months later he would release Another Day in Paradise. Is it true, I ask, that Elton John used to babysit her? “I’ve really got to sit my parents down and ask them questions about that. I’ve been hearing it for so long, but I really have no idea,” she says.

After relocating with her mother to LA at the age of five, following her parents’ divorce, she attended the prestigious Harvard-Westlake school, where former pupils include Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal, and began auditioning for film and TV roles. “I was getting told ‘no’ all the time,” she says, which she puts down simply to a lack of experience. “I’d done musicals and plays at school, but I hadn’t studied acting or anything, and auditioning for film and TV is very different.”

At the same time, journalism held an appeal, too. “I wanted to be the youngest-ever talk show host,” she says. After pitching ideas to magazine editors, she began writing for Teen Vogue and Elle Girl, and scored a job as a reporter for the children’s channel Nickelodeon, covering the 2008 presidential election and Obama’s inauguration. “I was 18 and I could just vote, so I was like, ‘Oh great, I get to ask all the questions that I don’t know the answers to.’” What she liked less, however, were the questions she had to ask as a roving reporter on the red carpet. “I would think, oh, that’s not what I really want to ask this person, I would hate to be asked that,” she recalls. On the other side of the microphone now, there are questions she simply doesn’t answer, about her personal life, or about politics, on which she refuses to be drawn.

She studied broadcast journalism at the University of Southern California, but dropped out in her second year when, in 2009, after several years of auditioning, she won her first film role, as Sandra Bullock’s daughter in The Blind Side. Soon after, she was perfectly cast as Snow White in Mirror Mirror, followed by Rosie Dunne in Love, Rosie, the adaptation of Cecelia Ahern’s novel Where Rainbows End.

Though acting has clearly won out over journalism and talk show ambitions are on hold for now, Collins is still a keen writer. In 2017, she published Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me, a collection of personal essays in which she opened up about her struggles and self-doubts, her relationship with her father, with partners, and with her own body, writing about the eating disorders she battled for some years. “A lot of young women write to me on social media [she has more than 14m followers on Instagram], saying, ‘I just wanted to let you know that this is my situation and my insecurity, not that you would ever be able to relate to it…’ and I’ll always be like, ‘No, I really can relate,’” she insists.

Collins describes in Unfiltered how, as a child, she had only positive associations with food, but that changed when she turned 16. Her father was separating from her stepmother, his third wife, while Lily was juggling school, a budding modelling career, a social life and trying to break into acting, too. “My life felt out of control,” she writes. “I couldn’t handle the pain and confusion surrounding my dad’s divorce, and I was having a hard time balancing being a teenager with pursuing two different grown-up careers – both of which I’d chosen myself, but which also focused heavily on how I looked.” She began starving herself, exercising obsessively and became addicted to diet pills and laxatives, habits which continued well into her early 20s.

She pitched the book proposal during a dry spell in acting. “I hadn’t booked anything film-wise for a while, and I was itching to do something. The idea for the book had been at the back of my mind for a while, and I thought, well, maybe now’s the time.” Soon after, she was also sent the script for To The Bone, a film about a young woman with chronic anorexia. “It was too big a message to ignore,” recalls Collins. She attended group therapy sessions with recovering anorexics. “I didn’t want them thinking that I was just coming in to be nosy. I wanted them to know that I actually could relate. It encouraged me to really dig deep and tell the truth, to be more brave. And it was freeing,” she says. Collins sent a copy of the book to Michelle Obama “on a whim. I wanted to reach out to certain people and just thank them for being an inspirational woman, someone who I look up to,” she says. “I certainly never expected to receive a letter back thanking me and saying the same thing. I need to get that letter framed.”

This summer, she’s heading to France to film Emily in Paris, the new comedy-drama from Sex and the City creator Darren Star. “I knew I had so much baggage that I needed to get rid of in order to take on the baggage of all my characters,” she says. “And the second I did that, my career and my personal life opened up in a whole new way.” Collins, it seems, having been drawn to the darkness, professionally and personally, is now heading towards the light.

vía The Observer Magazine.

#lily collins #interview #magazine #the observer #to the bone #Extremely Wicked Shockingly Evil and Vile #tolkien #unfiltered

[gwinnetts-archive]

💢 ✍ 💭 🔥 (For both Dean and Elle)

mun talks about muse ;; accepting | @stubbcrnwcman

Something about the muse that annoys you?

>  elle

i specifically chose to make elle stutter-prone because... frankly, there just... aren’t... enough characters who are. i get it — creators need their characters to be easily understood, but i’m stutter-prone, and everyone talking so smoothly in media ... kinda messes with me sometimes...

anyway. this is under the ‘annoys me’ question because, even though i chose that quirk for a very specific and personal reason... sometimes i’m annoyed writing it, because i have to sit here and be like, “is she still understandable? does this make sense? am i being clear enough about my meaning?” etc. so... the reason why it annoys me... is that it stresses me out sometimes... gg i played myself

>  dean

dean, do you HAVE to use a heavy but different emphasis on every other word? dean, i only have italics at my disposal, since you aren’t the all caps type 99% of the time. i don’t want to pick up using tumblr formatting just to communicate all your fucking emphases. i’m going to strangle you with my bare hands

Favorite thing about writing the muse?

>  elle

less writing and more like, an effect of writing — i Love seeing people’s characters react to elle in a way that, like... validates the role i try to write her in. there are certain things she’s supposed to be good at, some effects i try to aim her towards — and every time i see the internal or external dialogues of her CR that reflect these things, i’m like. “i’m writing her right”

with OCs, you don’t have a canon to reference / check back against to make sure you’re IC and writing them correctly. this is the best i get with elle, but honestly, it feels even better than that, because it’s much, much more difficult to write a character who is, say, supposed to inspire people to believe they are capable of change, or supposed to evoke certain symbolism, without just shoving this down the “audience” (the thread partners and those who are reading along)

>  dean

any time i really #Nail writing his dialogue. /clenches fist

Favorite memory of the muse?

>  elle

another shoutout to rafe because it’s gonna be rough topping the character development that built up during our long running doctor who audio series crossover verse. this isn’t a very specific answer, but it’s hard to narrow down a specific moment out of that and my memory sucks to boot

>  dean

i havent gotten a chance to break him out of his box very often, but i really enjoyed the ghoul questions from his old blog. writing his answers was a lot of fun, but having multiple ghoul muses on my dash also doing those questions at the same time... it was a Good Feeling

Unpopular opinion about your muse?

>  elle

elle might be a malleable protag, but she’s still an oc, so i’m always a bit ??? about questions like this for any of my protags

as for the courier six role in general... i, uh. well...

okay, let’s go with this one: i’m personally not terribly fond of female couriers who go the legion route and then don’t get fucked over by it, one way or another. likewise, i’m not really fond of... “queen / princess of the legion” + someone else filling caesar’s seat. that’s just... that’s just not how the legion works. the legion was always doomed to fail because of the way caesar set it up. if caesar dies from his cancer, the legion is going to fall about sooner rather than later — but it’s still not gonna last past his death

and it doesn’t matter if the courier is related to caesar (like being his daughter), because the legion’s culture is specifically set up so that there aren’t dynasties or family rivalries. and it doesn’t matter if the courier is married to caesar, because women have no power in the legion and never will. they can’t even fight in the arena. like... it just doesn’t work. the lore made that really clear, imo

>  dean

pls stop joking about “how do his sunglasses stay on,” those jokes were old eight years ago, they’re especially old now. pls

also, i am 99% certain dean is straight. there is a small chance he’ll surprise me, but... sometimes, a character just seems straight, y’know?

one more for the road... before he was a ghoul, dean 👏 domino 👏 was 👏 black. this stopped being a discourse a long time ago, bbbuuuut, i ain’t budgin’ on this

#stubbcrnwcman #asks : ooc ;; the answers are buried in me #muse : dean domino ;; give me envy; give me malice; give me your attention #muse : elle days ;; she didn’t choose this role but she’ll play it and make it sincere #;; long post