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barelylivingscholar · 13 hours

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Arlecchino with a daughter prt. 2 tw: Dottore (mentioned), gore(?), torture.

I’ve been hearing from Pantalone, that I am being searched for. Interesting. I sipped on tea as Pantalone had given me updates in regarding the new “successor” that had replaced me. Lyney was his name. He has a twin sister, Lynette. I have not met them before. I fiddled with the fur of my cloak, as Pantalone then switches the topic about the Northland Bank… A few weeks had passed after my exit from the House of the Hearth. I have been working alongside Pantalone to establish plans and how to manage each branch. I have learned a lot from him in regards to Mora, and how to use it effectively. In one week, I learned how to negotiate, bargain, and put someone into debt… Then on the second week, I have learned how to use different torture methods to instill fear upon people who are unable to pay their debts… By the third week… I learned how to control people. By using Mora.

So far, Pantalone has been nothing but more of a figure that I have learned to respect… Unlike “Knave”, Pantalone gives me time to explore places, areas that I have not seen before… I am free to do whatever I want to. There is no limit to what I cannot do while I am under his wing. Pantalone is more honest and straight to the point. He is not vague on wording things regarding any type of situation. He feels more familiar than the “Knave.” While I do not have any obligation or whatsoever to call him “Family”, I feel more connected to him rather than what I had with the “Knave”. Pantalone had given me permission to call him by his name, rather than his codename. I like to think that Pantalone grew on me as I grew on him too. He started little, he invites me for tea after finishing missions, gifts me things from other nations, and values my input rather than ignore it. Pantalone was never shy on telling me what life was like back then when he was once someone who had no Mora in his name…

Pantalone had told me stories about his coworker “The Doctor.” Stories that had my bone chilled even until now. He warns me to not wander off far from his radar. “Who knows what Zandik would do to you once he had set his eyes on you as another project of his” Pantalone remarked, as he shakes his head and switched topic. It seemed that he had noticed my discomfort about his coworker. Pantalone mentions that the “Knave” seemed very adamant on not believing that I was dead. My expression had hardened. Pantalone as always, caught onto it. He nods in understanding. “You’re in a better place now.” “Am I really?” “It depends on how you see it.” We then finished our tea and left to go back at his base. I encountered a few children from the House of the Hearth on the way back, their eyes widening as I walked alongside Pantalone. A child who I presumed to be Lyney, as Pantalone had described to me what the boy’s appearance was approached me. “Are you Blanche? The one who has been missing for weeks?” I stiffened at the mention of my former name, but regained my composure. “Surely you are mistaken. I am not Blanche.” I answered, staring at him curiously. Is this the person who is the “successor” of the House of the Heath? “You look exactly the same as the image “Father” had provided.” “I may look the same as the person in that photo but that isn’t me. That person is dead.” I say bluntly, scanning Lyney’s surprised expression. “But-“ I cut him off. “I am not the same person you are looking for. I am a disciple of “Regrator”. As you can see, we are busy. He is a busy man. If you’d excuse us…” I then walked away from Lyney. His twin who I assumed to be “Lynette” had come up to him and exchanged glances. I am not coming back from that place.

Pantalone surveys my expression. “You look pale.” I attempt to calm down, as I answered him in a tight voice, “I am fine.” Pantalone does not buy it. “Are you afraid that the “Knave” will take you back to the House of the Hearth?” He goes straight to the point. I then replied in a harsh tone. “She can try. But I’m not coming back. I’m never stepping foot in that place again.” I looked haunted. “If it helps, I do not intend on surrendering you to the “Knave.” You are now my disciple. Not her orphan anymore.” I attempt to at least smile a little at his attempt of comfort. “Correct. But people like her do not intend to give up easily. There will be consequences.” I sighed. “She has no other choice. I provide the funds for the Hearth. She cannot act rashly.” I then looked away from him, staring at the path ahead. “I know someday I will return to that place eventually, but in a different standing.” Pantalone nods. “You will. But as my disciple this time. You have been well informed of our upcoming schedule.” I stretched my limbs. “Duty is duty. I am bound to it. You have been accommodating enough to me that I see this more as a business opportunity rather than… Revisiting trauma.” I shakily sighed. “Whether I have any negative feelings of that place… It does not apply to the agenda. This is strictly business.” I attempt to convince myself that there is nothing more than that. But thoughts still continued to plague me on the way back to the base. We walked in silence. Pantalone does not further question me anymore.

I was left to my own devices by Pantalone to deal with an unsettled debt by an old man. I subdued the man into torture, as usual. The torture method used is to mark their skin with an iron stamp, as I cast the iron to the stamp and brand their skin with the Fatui logo, I enjoyed the screams of my victims. Before, I was afraid. Now, I am numb to it all. I left the chamber with a bloody bag of mora in hand. I report back to Pantalone that I had collected the debt, and left to write down a report for Pantalone. I then scrubbed the blood off the bag of mora. I tutted as the old man’s blood was spilled on the bag of coins. I hate filth. I hate who I was once. I am now cleared of the filth that I was once covered in. This is me now. Blanche is dead. “Disciple” is who I am now. I emerged out of the washroom as a new person. In a month, I will revisit the House of Hearth under the banner of “Regrator.” If there is anything that Pantalone had taught me best, it is the language of Mora. I am just as obsessed with Mora as well. For now, I must stay in Snezhnaya.

Freminet had been searching for Blanche for a while now. She was a calm girl who only spoke a few words. “Father” had seemed to favor her over the many children of the Hearth, which led to many despising Blanche. All but Freminet. He never hated Blanche. She was the only girl who respects his boundaries and chooses to speak with him in a manner that is comforting. She indulges him in visiting “Penguin Town.” And had once gifted him a penguin plush that is still kept by him in his room. Although their interactions are limited, but he considers her as his only friend. Freminet believes that Blanche hadn’t died. Before her disappearance, he saw Blanche rushing out of the house, seemingly in a hurry. He paid no mind to it until he saw Father asking about Blanche’s whereabouts an hour later. He then went to search for Blanche. Only to come back with a frozen bloody pin. Blanche had disappeared. No one knew where she was.

Until, Lyney had come to him to inform him of Blanche’s reappearance. Freminet was stunned to know that Blanche had chosen to not come back to the House of the Hearth. Freminet believed she will be back after being found. The man she was with had something to do with it. “Regrator”, ninth of the Fatui… Father must know of this. Lyney had said to him. He then leaves Freminet to think about the news. Blanche should have no reason not to return, she was favored, loved by Father, why else would she not return? Surely, she had not been brainwashed by the man she was with. He vows to help Blanche come to her senses so she would return to House of the Hearth, to where she will spend time with Pers and him again. He just had to convince Father to let Blanche play with him. ̶S̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶a̶̶l̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶̶s̶ ̶u̶̶n̶̶a̶̶v̶̶a̶̶i̶̶l̶̶a̶̶b̶̶l̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶p̶̶l̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶w̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶.

Lyney entered Father’s office. To where Father has been waiting for updates in regards to her beloved daughter. ̶H̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶d̶̶a̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶o̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶l̶̶o̶̶v̶̶e̶̶d̶. She had loved them so much that she didn’t want any harm to come upon her daughter… Her daughter had run away from her after what she said to her, to which Arlecchino had come to regret deeply… Perhaps she shouldn’t have said those words. ̶M̶̶a̶̶y̶̶b̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶d̶̶a̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶'̶v̶̶e̶ ̶s̶̶t̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶ ̶b̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶n̶.

Her crossed eyes had seemed to have a dangerous glow at the mention that her daughter was with Pantalone. ̶H̶̶e̶ ̶s̶̶t̶̶o̶̶l̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶f̶̶r̶̶o̶̶m̶ ̶m̶̶e̶! Silence had engulfed the office… Before she finally spoke up. “Thank you for the report, Lyney. You may now leave…” After Lyney left, Arlecchino angrily digs her nails on her desk, leaving a claw mark. Mɏ đȺᵾǥħŧɇɍ... Ɨ wɨłł ǥɇŧ ɏøᵾ ƀȺȼꝁ...

An: Things will get more confusing once part three rolls out... There is more to it now that there's another pov... Especially "Father's." Feel free to interpret things as there will be more misunderstandings to come in the next following chapters...

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin angst #arlecchino x reader #pantalone x reader

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autumnslance · 3 days

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G'raha's Leadership in the Final Days

Finally got PunchyCat to the Final Days, and while we often speak to the big cutscene where G'raha "goes into Exarch mode" and takes command in the chaos, before that he and the WoL run around Radz-at-Han investigating the Blasphemy, and even there, G'raha's many years as Exarch really show through in how he interacts with the traumatized and terrified people.

Rahdvira: Sisters have mercy, what is happening to the world!? What am I to do…? Is nowhere safe!? G'raha Tia: Settle down, friend. The danger has passed…at least for now. If it's not too painful to remember, could you tell us what you saw?

and at the end of the man's tale:

G'raha Tia: That is enough, my good man. You were brave to share with us your tale. Many of your fellow merchants are safe. The High Crucible, too, has survived mostly unscathed. Pray stay close to your friends and loved ones, and rest your body and mind while you are able. G'raha Tia: I suspect that is the most we can expect the people here to tell us. I think it best we find a place outside the bazaar where we might rest and review our findings.

Choosing to Speak with G'raha...

G'raha Tia: It might distress those still traumatized by the incident to discuss what we've learned within earshot…

He also remembers the details of how WoL knew Khalzahl (thanks to that great memory of his, hearing the reports of the first trip to Thavnair). As Mihleel is shaken by remembering the terror erupting at her tables, however...

G'raha Tia: Forgive me. I would not have you recall the memory if it brings you pain. If I could, I would ask just one more thing.

After getting directions to Khalzahl's neighborhood, WoL and G'raha question an older woman:

Mahti: I don't travel much these days, but my daughter's told me not to venture outside. Stuck in here as I am, I've heard little about these bizarre goings-on. G'raha Tia: Rest assured, the city is safe for now, but the situation may change without warning. G'raha Tia: I urge you: stay close to your daughter, and be prepared to take refuge should the satrap order it. Mahti: Yes, I shall do just that. Thank you for your concern, and pray stay safe as well.

And then the sleepy Arkasodara down the street:

Parigha: Hmmm…? Could you come back another time? I just woke up, and I'm not exactly in the mood for idle chitchat. G'raha Tia: Well, that's one way to avoid the panic, I suppose… G'raha Tia: Pardon our intrusion. You may not have noticed, but a great danger has come to Thavnair. I encourage you to stay alert, and prepare to flee the city should the situation turn dire. G'raha Tia: But before we leave you in peace…pray allow us to ask a question or two.

And finally, when dealing with Djinabaha at Ruveydah Fibers, helping the employees pack things away before he'd even talk, G'raha finishes with this as we go on to the next quest (and Ahewann's fate).

G'raha Tia: My friend, we must take our leave. I pray that your establishment is spared further tragedy. But remember: your lives are far more precious than any wares. If you are ordered to flee, do so without hesitation. Djinabaha: Indeed… I thank you for your concern, and pray you two take care as well.

G'raha knows how to talk to people shaken by disaster, calming and reassuring, and giving them clear advice and action to take to keep themselves safe. It's a handy precursor to his taking command in the next cutscene, reminding us that he is, unfortunately, all too familiar with events similar to these, and this steadiness, thoughtfulness, and concern comes from too many years of practice.

#final fantasy xiv #endwalker #G'raha Tia #Radz-at-Han #Final Days #Crystal Exarch

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yanderesbeloveddarling · 14 hours

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Three flavors of compliant darling headcanons:

Your yandere is like an obedient puppy for your whims. People wonder if you like them too, or if they’re forcing you. One thing is certain, they love you so much, and it gives you power to have their leash in your hands. There's nothing they wouldn't do for you, consequences be damned.

You love your yandere so much that you embrace them no matter how scared you are. Maybe their hands find your neck when they notice you flinch— you whimper, fighting against the urge to protect yourself. They won’t hurt you, you remind yourself. And soon enough, your yandere seems to wake up. They pepper kisses on your face, apologize into your skin. They didn’t want to hurt you, no. They just can’t stand that you’re afraid of them, you know? But they know it’s a process. They will be patient until you wholly accept what they are.

You've given up. Whether it's because you feel bad for them, or they broke you down enough, or because you know there's no one out there that will love you as deeply as them. There's simply no reason to fight the inevitable. They're much kinder when you comply, and ever so loving.

This unintentionally has been listed to my most favourite... I have preferences in depictions of how violent, if ever(!), a yandere can be toward the darling, but I really like it when there's an established "shouldn't make the yandere unhappy" situation, even if it's to protect other people. Or if it's for a peace of one's mind.

#yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere #yandere scenarios #compliant darling #yandere headcanons #yandere x you

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fanfic-obsessed · 6 hours

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Well...That Esclated Quickly

Here is another idea that came to me during my walk to work. I want you to know, though it goes in a humorous direction it really is not a full fix-it.

When Order 66 went live, some of the chips did not activate. There is no rhyme nor reason as to which chips activate and which did not. Not a huge amount compared to the whole, but some. Enough that a few hundred Jedi and a Few thousand Clones regroup in the aftermath.

While you can fill in most of the blanks the following are included in my idea

Obi Wan Kenobi and a company’s worth of 212th clones, including Cody: Obi Wan was still shot off the cliff, to the horrified eyes of the still free clones. The still free clones don't have enough numbers to take on their brethren who appear to have gone insane, but do have enough to steal one of the midsized transport ships, one capable of hyperspace flight. They reluctantly allow Obi Wan to go to Coruscant on his own, with the rationale that one person can sneak to the surface much easier than a whole company, while the clones establish a regroup point. From there Obi Wan goes on the Mustafar, which ends as it did in canon. Obi Wan brings Padme to the transport ship where she still dies of complications of her pregnancy

Fox, Hound, a dozen other members of the CG, and the Younglings: Fox and the few members of the CG that were unaffected by O66 raced to beat the 501st to the Temple. They made it just a few minutes before their enslaved brothers. Just barely in time to evacuate the children in the creche with the help (and insistent sacrifice) of the adult Jedi. While there were a few Creche Masters evacuated with the children, it was now basically just Fox and his CG functionally in charge of baby Jedi ranging from Babies to Pre teens. They connect with remains of the 212th before the events of Mustafar.

Yoda, who did still have to kill his commander in order to escape, but was able to bring a few clones with him. They still end up being collected by Bail Organa.

Ahsoka, Rex, Jesse and a portion of the maintenance team for their battalion: They do not meet up with the rest for quite some time (at least three years). Rex’s chip did activate but he was able to get Ahsoka the message about Fives. After Rex is freed they find Jesse and the other free clones (soft shells all) looking on in horror at their controlled brethren. With the help of the maintenance team they are able to escape from the ship without freeing Maul or crashing into the moon. By the time they are able to look past the immediate situation, the Temple is already burning and it has been announced that the Jedi are traitors. These 25 or so go to ground in Mandalorian space and try to figure out how to free the clones from the chips (beyond surgery which really does not work with the numbers they have to deal with). They do not realize anyone else has survived.

Aayla survived, due to one of the clones (not Bly) pushing her out of the way and sacrificing his life for her. Bly’s chip does work. She escapes with two dozen free clones and six chipped clones tied up in the back (Including Bly, even the clones agree they cannot save everyone and hopefully it means that they can figure out what is going wrong).

Shaak Ti, 10 Veteran clones, 40 ‘Shinies’, 300 child and teenage cadets, three junior Kaminoan Scientists (not Nala Se) none of which knew about the chip or Order 66, and Omega. Shaak Ti had been working with a few Kaminoan Scientists to see the clones as sentients in their own right and the reactions of the clones under the chip's control horrified a few of those scientists. Between them and Omega, who had been paying attention and used this as a chance to escape the lab (the Bad Batch being off planet at the time) they were able to evacuate anyone not under the control of the chip.

All of these people (Barring Ahsoka and Co) converge on the ship that had been stolen by the free 212th clones. Had less children survived (about a third of the living Jedi are children under the age of 11, plus the cadets) they all would likely have split into small groups and made their own way through the galaxy. But there was just no way to break into small enough groups to be safe AND still make sure the children (and to some extent the Shinies) were taken care of. They were also too large a group to go anywhere in the Republic, or even anywhere in Mandalorian space (There were an awful lot of uninhabited planets in the galaxy but most were uninhabited for a reason). Thus there was only one thing they could do.

Take over the Hutt Empire.

To be fair the take over part did start out accidentally. The actual goal was to find a place to lay low in the Hutt Empire, possibly the only place Palpatine’s Empire could not reach quite yet(at least until Palpatine solidified his rule).

So they found a planet within the Hutt Empire to lay low on, While Bail Organa left to begin planting the seeds for the rebellion (No Leia as the twins were not being split up). As much as I want it to be Tattoine, it just has too small a population to not have a couple of thousand people (Most of whom hide their very distinctive faces) showing not be noticeable. So they choose a planet with a higher population.

This is where the trouble began. All of our adults are deeply traumatized, trained warriors who are not used to sitting by, universally feeling useless. They are facing an insurmountable task, still mostly directionless, and deeply angry at life.

It starts with the local Hutt’s minions trying to shake down some newcomers, who were not looking for a target to vent their spleen but found one just the same. It does not end well for the minions. Nor the next six attempts, with different groups of Clones and Jedi each time. No one has told Command yet, but they look at each other and ‘shit we can’t keep drawing attention to ourselves but we can’t leave either’

The solution (Commander Cody himself would like to reiterate this was not the correct solution)? Take out the Hutt. Then they realize that taking out the Hutt has just drawn more attention to this city as the other Hutts for the planet try to figure out who took out this one.

The next Solution? Take out the rest of the Hutts on the planet.

They have now drawn even more attention to the planet from yet more Hutts. This is the one thing that is critical they do not have.

The next Solution? Try three to make this plan work (Commander Cody reminds you that trying the same thing over and over again, hoping for different results, is the definition of insanity) and take out the Hutts looking for answers.

By the time that these small groups have admitted to Command (Obi Wan, Cody, Yoda, Shaak Ti, Fox) what is going on, a few months later, they have accidentally taken over the Hutt Empire.

The Hutt Empire that is still nominally allied with Palpatine’s Empire. The Hutt Empire that has to stay allied to Palpatine’s Empire if they do not want to draw the attention of the entire Imperial Forces to the largest concentration of living Jedi and free Clones in the galaxy. The Hutt Empire that no longer has any active Hutts.

In this the human centric leaning of Palpatine’s Empire is actually helpful. They very rarely wanted to deal with other species, so it was easy to appoint someone unknown but human to deal with the com calls and visits. It does mean that they have to make up a Hutt that they essentially have to play ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ with, a couple of times a year when a representative insists on meeting with the Hutt in charge.

Also the fact that Palpatine’s Empire is more interested in enslaving their own citizens for free as opposed to buying them from the Hutts means that they can shut down the slave trade within Hutt Space (over time). Fox both loves and hates running a criminal empire.

It should be noted that, even with Bly and the five other chipped clones, no one actually knows what is going on until Rex and Co find their way back to them. We are going with the thought that a level 5 atomic scan is a ludicrously high level of scanning. Like sitting on a Nuclear Reactor to get an X-Ray kind of ludicrous, so not only does no one think to do that level of scanning to see what is wrong, but they do not even have that kind of equipment readily available. The reports about Fives from Rex never made it to any kind of centralized repository, there is no way to know why most clones suddenly started to kill Jedi. Bly and Co spend the three years before Rex shows up in a makeshift brig, they can function almost normally until a Jedi is brought up or in the room with them.

Bail laughs his ass off when he is told, through several intermediaries and coded messages, that the Jedi and the Clones accidentally took over a criminal empire. Then he starts funneling the Path and the people his rebellion are rescuing into Hutt Space to find the Jedi.

Three years in Rex, Ahsoka, the clones with them (now having grown to nearly another thousand) arrive with the news that they can disable the chips from a distance of about a large cruiser.

That is how the Hutt Empire became freedom fighters.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars au #obi wan kenobi #fanfiction prompt #anakin skywalker #bamf obi wan #I imagine it is CodyWan though it is not mentioned in this #commander cody #commander fox #Hutts #Accidental Empire #order 66 happened differently

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barrenclan · 2 days

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okay hey its me (spotfurfan on main) back again reporting live on another fucking patfw issue

OKAY SOOO YOURE CRAZY. you. YOUUUU.

i just cant believe we're finally here like... it's finally happening. crazy. ugh so crazy and im so excited and horrified. this issue was so so good obviously i dont think i even gotta say that at the point but!!!!

OBSESSED with so many things about this. again, you NAILED the feeling of dread and horror so well. like actually making me feel sick GOOD JOB!!! everyone being so horrified is WONDERFUL. its all in the small things, like mallowstar panick-ly ordering everyone around as a last attempt to save them, and daffodilpaw crying. really good and heartbreaking details. im super interested about deepdarks... situation with wildrose. that man is up to Something. really interested to see how that will play out and if it will effect much.

ALSO im very much wondering if anyone will mention.. pinepaw. like recognizing him as that little blue cat. if anyone will spill about rainhaze. ugh WHATS GONNA HAPPEN I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!

and MALLOWSTAR. god, mallowstar. not even one of our main characters really and yet his death is so incredibly devastating. he just wanted to protect his clan. even when theres no fucking way he could have done anything. his death is quick, and i think that makes it even more upsetting somehow??? i figured he was gonna die but. man. MAN. pick on someone ur own size prowl

overall. good. very very good shit. poor corm. poor everyone. if they had just been a little bit earlier to leave.... just a little bit. fuckkk i really cannot see this ending well and i am so excited

YAY I love when people do live reactions at me! I love to hear your thoughts so so much.

Panic and action is always something that's been hard for me to get across in writing, so I'm always happy to hear that I've succeeded. I like this issue as it sets the tone for the 4 to follow and really establishes that this is not a force that BarrenClan can just fight their way out of, which was important to me.

I am personally very happy with the conclusion of this story so I am hoping everyone else likes it too... coming THIS SUMMER! And fall, and probably winter,

#ask #analysis #mallowstar #prowl #daffodilpaw #pinepaw #deepdark

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 4 months

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In your lights out!au when Eddie wakes up, how did Frank feel? Was he happy? Relieved? Were they a thing before everyone went to sleep, or did they realize they had feelings for each other afterwards?

I hope this hasn't been asked before! I'm just really curious

i'm thinking that before everything went dark, they were getting there. nothing was said aloud, but they were both having Mutual Feelings and Charged Moments that neither could ignore

just because i think it'd interesting if when Eddie wakes up, it's like no time at all passed. he walked Frank home just last "night". but it's been years for Frank - they have to reestablish where they had been with the added facets how time has worn on Frank. among other things

#and they only get like 5-6 months to figure their shit out!#thankfully for the both of them frank is less inclined to keep up pretenses. he becomes a bit of a go-getter #cause he's like 'well its been years. im tired & im dying. fuck it we ball'#its that class The Apocalypse Speeds Up Relationship Development thing #not drastically! it still takes them a good couple of months #this is actually why i had eddie wake up before julie #i wanted him and frank to have Some time together #5-6 months isnt half bad i think. sorta #rambles from the bog #wh lights out au #to make a long story short #feelings were realized but not shared pre-dark #and post-dark they're shared and somewhat established #how established can you be in their situation!#as for how frank felt... A Confusing Tangle Of Emotions #too complicated to write out here really

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joshuaalbert · 1 year

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every time I see someone pitch a picard spinoff about [insert character here] I just get so tired like. I know I’m years late to pick this battle but I genuinely just don’t think single character focused shows are the right choice for star trek given that at its core it’s about a group of people working together for a better future. obviously the main character would still have a crew, and obviously the captains have always been closer to main characters than the rest of the crew to a degree, but naming the show after one person means that everything that happens on that show ultimately happens in service of the titular character, and that very individualistic mindset feels wrong for trek imo.

#also like. yeah I guess technically the 90s shows all spun off each other but a) they each had a distinctly separate premise #and b) they each set up basically entirely new casts of characters that were specifically crafted for that show and that situation #vs if you spin off an established character you ultimately limit how new it can get I think #worf is an outlier to a degree but he had to adapt to the show it wasn’t built around him #idk the point in the tags is I guess a lesser complaint I just find it limiting #san rant

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ectonurites · 5 months

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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS

#tragically had to skip the 'are you afraid of me' exchange i love at the start bc. this scene is Long #super dark times #josh templeton #zach taylor #sam edits #btw i'm firmly in the 'Josh didn't kill John' camp. bc to me THIS scene is the point that... makes the most sense as Josh's breaking point/#'villain turn' if that's what you'd want to call it. because this is really when Josh... sort of 'officially' loses Zach. from early on in #the movie it becomes clear how much Zach is like... an anchor for him—the way Josh is just fucking *chanting* his name in distress during #the Daryl accident. The way Josh begs Zach to believe him that it was an accident. The way Josh turns to Zach for answers/clarity/direction #Like even if we want to take a cynical approach and think of it as Josh just latching onto Zach in the Daryl situation because he was There #rather than that being an established thing w/ them... in the aftermath of that same incident Josh is still looking to/depending on him!#Josh self isolates at first... but after they talk & Zach tells him they shouldn't act weird Josh goes back to school. (yes #he lashes out there because He's Dealing With The Crushing Guilt but *all* of 'em are acting off then—Charlie specifically calls attention #to the idea they all probably are) Josh goes to the party just like Zach said they should and is *visibly confused* when Zach seems mad to #see him there. He goes to Zach's house to talk and you can SEE how caught off guard he is by what Zach says. Even though the script version #of this scene is VERY different from the final version I do think this one bit of description from it is... insightful: 'Josh seems sincere #almost vulnerable. But Zach is too focused to see it.' LIKE in this scene Zach is already convinced Josh has lost it! He's trying to act #more neutral about it (claiming they could just 'draw a line') but we saw his phone call with Charlie. Because of his own guilt-fueled #paranoia—something shown pretty clearly through the assorted dream sequences and like tht scene of him walking in the hall hearing people #gossip about Daryl—it seems like everything lines up too well! that '*of course* it's Josh and what if it's *been* Josh all along and well #then the role *I* played in the situation really isn't *my* fault because it was all *Josh* and...' etc. even if that's more subconscious #But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although #Zach says he isn't... i mean he fucking stumbles on the word 'afraid' (like... he hangs on the 'f' sound a moment too long to sound natural #its very subtle but like Noticeable). But Josh sees right through him. Zach doesn't trust him anymore. Zach thinks he's the bad guy. the #monster. Josh feeling like he lost the last person he had in his corner feels like the most realistic thing to... push him over the #edge. like that's a compelling tragedy to me—the idea that these two poorly coping with the Daryl situation in these separated ways where #they *aren't* talking/communicating ends up CREATING the feedback loop that makes everything get worse and worse.#But for that to be the case... it wouldn't make sense for Josh to have just randomly killed John before this scene. I think it's a more #interesting story if certain things really ARE just coincidences but it's that Zach's paranoia won't let him see that 🤷

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marinsawakening · 29 days

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The problem with BOTW is that it's obnoxiously popular in the LOZ fandom to the detriment of other games but also unfortunately it's genuinely really really fun to write fanfic for.

#it really hits that perfect fandom balance of good but not THAT good you know #its base is really interesting and you can do a lot with it. there's a lot of freedom to be had playing with its characters and concepts #contrast and compare to Link's Awakening which imo has a way better story and is my most beloved zelda game #but also like. what do i even have to add. how do i write fanfic for it when it has such a great bookend #like i don't even really want to do AUs or change the ending #the reason I like it are the Themes(TM) and changing the story too radically or changing the ending risks losing that #don't get me wrong i can and have written link's awakening fanfic. i am writing link's awakening fanfic right now #but it's a lot harder to come up with concepts bc it already does such a good job with all its stuff #on the other hand botw does not utilize its story potential much yet establishes enough it's fun to expand on #so with link's awakening i'm like ok. how do i put marin in Situations this time when the game's already the best Situation she could be in #and with botw i'm like 'so here's three different link and zelda role reversal AUs'#'this is the one where zelda is transmasc'#'this is the one where urbosa is fighting ganon link is dead and riju and zelda are on a roadtrip'#'and this is the one i'm planning a 40k hubris fic for'#being a fandom hipster is all fun and games until you like something popular #at least i still don't care much about link #my posts #loz #botw

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misspickman · 3 months

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transfem kon proposal could have been good if was good

#it was not. good #and i know theres a lot of transphobic assholes happy we didnt get it bc of that #but pretending that everyone who criticizes it is doing so only bc they cant handle kon being a trans woman. is just.#you cant see past the blind want for representation #again i would kill for canon transfem kon but everything about that idea was bad #and her characterization of kon was horrid and so clearly based on yj tv show #remember how when her first bit of kon writing came out and everyone was mad about it bc it was Bad and put him in a relationship with mgan #who he. never spoke to in comics before but suddenly theyre in an established relationship #and it was all around not good kon writing. but then the proposal came out and suddenly everyone is oh we were robbed..#as if anything about it was good except for the general idea of making kon a trans woman #also im sorry but i saw her replies on twt where she was saying being trans is about burning your past and leaving everything behind #or whatever. as if being trans is the same for all of us. and as if it makes sense for kon who isnt in a bad situation re family?#but of course it would seem that way if youre coming from yj tv show. where most of the clark and kon misconception comes from afaik #and her whole issue with conner and kon as his names? bc they were given to him by another person??#i know that we like. if we were to get trans woman kon. it would have to go with changing her name and everything #bc u know dc cant conceptualize any more complex trans person than someone who instantly changes their name and fully transitions in a sec #but the way she talked about the name issue as if its bad that clark named kon. as if he wasnt so overjoyed at getting that name.#'he said not to call him superboy and we kept calling him superboy!' girl he said that bc he wanted to be superman. of all the many ways #u can find trans allegory in kons story. that single line aint it #so sorry but every time im reminded of this i get so sad and disappointed u took the best concept and fucked it up so bad #and now all people think of when trans kon is mentioned is fucking sk*******#its so over (its not bc im about to forget about it again and ignore its existence)#txt #im sorry for being a bitch again but did u read that. thats not the kon we know. dont tell me thats the point bc its about transitioning bc #u do not become a whole other person when u realize youre trans #and sorry but i do think itd be nice to have trans kon without just turning him into a (new) oc

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bookwyrminspiration · 11 months

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“how did you even get sick? you look ugly. come here.” For Keefe and Tam? Can be platonic or romantic if you want to do anything for it :). Maybe with cuddles because I, personally, am craving the skin

I love your writing btw please write a book one day <33

That's very sweet of you--I'd love to write several books someday! I've got some concepts up my sleeve already. Also, the way I set up their dynamic (a self-inflicted personal hell) the cuddles aren't as prominent as I would've liked to give you, but hopefully the rest of the fic makes up for that <3

idiot boys and stupid feelings <- ao3 link

warnings: sickness, brief reference of the twin's time banished and all associated troubles, but that's really it!

word count: 6.1k

Watching the sun wallowing, meekly disappearing before an unforgiving horizon as it trailed reds and purples and loud oranges in its wake across the sky was a conflicting sight for Tam, who observed unimpressed from the balcony.

Of all the sunsets he’d witnessed, the view from whatever place this was--Mr. Forkle had told them, but he hadn’t bothered to listen to that part; he’d been more focused on words like “resurgence” and “outbreak” and “victims,” the more important things--wasn’t one to stand out. A simple skyline, typical colors. The sun could do better.

A frown started to surface, but instead of letting it breach, he reached to tug on his bangs instead, the one habit he could never seem to break.

Cool air washed over his face, chilling the drying sweat sticking to his skin, a remnant of the efforts he’d exhausted, that they were all exhausting.

Over an hour ago, their group had dispersed to their various assignments, each to return to Wherever-the-hell once they’d finished their parts; he’d been done first, and was now alone in the hideout--as alone as one could be when they were always watched.

The balcony sat perched over a tumbling, mountainous expanse, sloping down into the night, a twisted metal railing decorated with florals and feathers encasing it. The wide doors were fully open behind him, allowing the light from the room beyond to spill into the creeping night and the cool, fresh air in.

As he stood there, he pretended he couldn’t feel the eyes of this place, examining his hand for traces of shadow, darkness caught under his nails, averting his gaze from that uninspiring sunset. From the memories they stirred.

Another sunset meant another day survived, but another night to face. Time without reliable warmth, with impaired sight, things moving in the night, fitful sleep.

Tam’s mouth twitched, more of the frown slipping out, shoving those thoughts aside and finding the nearest other to latch onto and distract himself.

Which landed him on blonde hair, pale eyes, bags creeping beneath them, charcoal smudges on fingertips.

And something…off.

Of all the people to think about, he didn’t have to settle on Keefe, how he’d seemed…fuzzy, ill-alert, at their “meeting” earlier. There were over a dozen people in the room, and he made it his business to watch each and every one of them, to be prepared just in case--

But, regardless of how many people he observed, his thoughts snagged on Keefe. There was something unspoken about him, something festering, something that had made him want to leave him behind. Give his piece of the assignment to someone else.

Instead, he’d decided that, with the least important piece of their puzzle, Keefe was the least of his troubles.

It had been a surprise, actually, to return to the hideout and find himself the first one back, he’d been so sure that with such a small responsibility Keefe would be impatiently pacing the place, about the track someone down to join them instead of waiting for them all to reconvene while complaining about how miniscule his job had been.

Tam’s thoughts were interrupted by the soft, dragging sound of approaching footsteps.

He stilled, darkness staining his fingers like charcoal as he tilted his head to the side, listening.

They came from somewhere around the hideout, outside, only audible because he, himself, was outside.

Shadows traveled further up his arm, a tactful, slow acclimation to the darkness falling further with each second the sun acquiesced the sky.

The footsteps paused, and in their place a door handle jangled; stone-like, Tam turned just enough to peer over his shoulder, to watch as the door swung open and a particular pale-eyed blond stepped through, hand pushing through his hair, eyes scanning across the room, the empty couches facing each other, barren counters, untouched chairs with throw pillows still dented from over an hour ago.

His eyes missed Tam, skipping past the balcony sheathed in unnatural shadow as he swept the door shut behind him.

Immediately, his facade crumbled, and if Tam said he was surprised he’d be lying.

Keefe’s shoulders drooped, carefully curated carefree expression melting into bland nothing, fingers coming up to hold his temples, traveling back to poke gently at the base of his neck like it ached.

Shuffling, dragging footsteps took him to one of the couches, where he lowered himself as though the weight of the world rested solely on his shoulders.

Tam only watched, squinting to see better.

He wondered how long it would take Keefe to realize he was there, if he even would at all. The thought of how long he could probably get away with it amused him, but slipped from his grasp at the sound of a sniffle.

His muscles tensed once more, ready to make himself known and gone immediately if Keefe was about to start crying, but the sound repeated, and with it, everything from that evening clicked into place.

“How did you even get sick? You look ugly. Come here,” he said, turning fully as he did so, facing his back to the memory of a sunset and inclining his head as he learned against the railing, looking Keefe over from the better angle.

With that angle, he got a good view of the way he jumped, spine straightening and eyes widening, showing the whites all around.

His hands dropped from his head, falling in his lap as he shook himself off, a few precious seconds passing before he had himself sorted. “Were you just watching me? Dude, that’s so creepy.”

Tam ignored the question. “Drop the act, I can see right through it.”

Keefe’s shoulders tightened, and he opened his mouth to retort, but was interrupted.

“Don’t even bother to try and lie to me right now. You’ve been off all evening. Now, like I said, come here.” Tam jerked his head towards the spot beside him.

His posture shifted, softening ever so slightly as he glanced between him and the door, as if there was someone else to see. Perhaps waiting for Biana to leap out of the shadows and accost them.

“Why?”

“Fresh air.”

Keefe frowned, leaning back further into the cushions, a slight grate to his voice. “But I just got all that fresh air running around scouting, looking for nothing.”

Tam shrugged. “Fine. Don’t, then.”

Silence fell for only a few short moments before Keefe grumbled something Tam couldn’t pick up, not even with all his practice, pushing up off the couch and stalking over to the balcony beside him, leaning facing out.

At least, Tam thought that’s what he was going for; instead, his feet dragged across the floor and his path swayed, Keefe unable to keep himself moving straight until he slumped against the banister, breath shaky--though he tried to hide it.

“You’re a mess, where’d you even catch…whatever that is,” Tam eyed him up and down, from the wan pallor of his face contrasted with the unnatural flush on his cheeks to the uneven rise and fall of his chest to the unsteady stance of his feet, relying on that railing for support.

Keefe huffed out what might’ve been a laugh. “Wow, thanks. Real supportive. I feel so cared about.” A low sighed rolled between his lips, laughter fading. “I think I caught it from Fitz. He wasn’t feeling great, but I ignored that and insisted we hang out anyway, and now…wait, earlier, did you say ‘all evening?’ Like you’ve been watching me all evening?”

It took Tam a moment to follow Keefe’s disjointed thoughts, lips tightening as he recalled the exact words he’d spoken.

If his cheeks felt warm, it was all the layers, all the black, nothing else. He scowled. “It’s not my fault you’ve had that funk around you all day. It’s hard to ignore.”

It wasn’t, actually; he had more than enough experience curating what, exactly, he paid attention to and was aware of. Pushing Keefe and the haze around him from his mind would’ve been simple enough.

In fact, it took more energy to pay attention than to let his gaze skip past that concealed fog around him. And yet he’d paid attention anyway.

“I think you just like me,” Keefe said, grin pulling at his lips, lifting his head enough to turn and peer at him. The unhealthy flush spread across his cheeks had starting fading to a lighter pink in the cool air, his eyes still dimly alight with fever, he noticed.

His eyes scanned scarred, warm skin, mussed hair, a silhouette backlit by the soft glow of the room beyond, the silence stretching on, his statement unanswered.

Keefe shifted, pushing off the railing to stand straighter, the two of them almost equal in height, though Keefe stood slightly taller and shamelessly used it to his advantage. “We’re alone; you can admit it, you know.”

That was…much more forward than usual.

Tam rolled his eyes. “All I have to admit is how much more annoying you are than I let on.”

“You hesitated.”

“You’re aren’t thinking clearly.”

Keefe shook his head, looking down the few inches he had on Tam, leaning in closer, unconscious of the movement; Tam was very conscious of it. “Uh uh, I may be fuzzy”--he tapped at his temple, blinking as though fighting to keep his eyes open--”but I noticed. You were thinking about it, weren’t you? You’re always thinking about something.”

Tam’s lips pressed together, averting his eyes, scowling. His gaze flickered to the door, fragments of shadows skittered along the edge of the room in tandem. They were alone, but for how long? How long until the rest of their group finished each of their individual scouting missions, returning to catch them too close in the dark?

He’d spent his life with it as his defense, and yet now its charged silence threatened to turn on him.

“You’re doing it again,” Keefe interrupted, the words fumbled, exhaustion creeping its greedy fingertips around the edges, digging its claws into the vowels.

His voice drew Tam’s gaze back, piercing through the dark. Had Keefe gotten even closer?

How had he missed it?

Tam’s body went rigid, the cool air doing nothing to combat the turmoil stirring in his mind, leaving him to fend for himself. “What--what are you doing? Cut it out.”

Brow furrowing, the words took a moment to pierce through Keefe’s thick skull.

When they did, he took a step away.

He opened his mouth, but closed it again, instead letting out a breath, one hand unconsciously rising to rub at the base of his skull, poking and prodding at what he was now certain was a headache.

Tam latched onto it like a lifeline against the sudden silence, the retreat he’d asked for and dreaded. “Have you--hailed Elwin? He always fixes you up.”

Keefe let his prior comments drop untouched, as though they were never there, snorting, “Elwin’s got enough going on with the gnomes and all the councillor visits. I’m not going to bother him with just a”--he gestured at himself--”cold or something. Whatever it is.”

“He’d want you to,” Tam reminded him, trying to be less…whatever it was about him that had Keefe stepping away. Even though he’d told him to.

Keefe had slumped over the banister again, forehead practically pressed to the railing, goosebumps raised across his skin, shivering now instead of overheating. He didn’t answer.

A few shadows slipped forward, invisible against the descending dark, hedging around the edges of Keefe’s shape, hesitating.

“Keefe.”

“Are you going to tell anyone?” It was more exhale than speaking, the words happening to tumble out at the same time, by chance rather than intention.

Tam frowned, only for a moment before he schooled his expression. “What are you even talking about?”

“When everyone else gets back, are you going to tell them?” Without any force, he gestured to himself.

“That you’re sick? Tell them yourself. Probably won’t even have to, one look at you and it’s obvious.”

Keefe sighed in what might’ve been relief. “Thanks.”

Tam crossed his arms, looking away, eyes scanning over the empty room, shadows creeping through the door searching and searching for others, but there was no one to break the silence that fell once more. They truly were alone, just like Keefe had said.

Why? They weren’t supposed to be. Where was everyone else? Why hadn’t they come back yet?

“You,” Keefe started, though he stayed with his head pressed to his arm against the railing, “are one to talk about funks when you’ve got your own all over you.”

“What?”

Keefe waved a free hand, nonchalant. “You’re so worried I can feel it, and I’m not even touching you.”

Tam glanced down to Keefe’s hands, where they rested against the railing. Close enough that they could reach out and touch him, if they wanted to.

He looked away.

“Did I successfully distract you with my charming personality?” Keefe asked, shifting his head so he could look at Tam, the hint of a smile on his mouth. But…less so. Not as wide as he’d been smiling earlier.

“You talk too much,” he scowled, reaching up to tug at his bangs, the scratch of metal against his fingertips comforting.

Keefe made an indignant noise. “You’re the one who started this conversation, creeping on me from the shadows and telling me to ‘come here.’ This one’s on you. If you didn’t want to talk to me, why ask me to come closer to you? Hypocrite.”

Now it was Tam’s turn to be indignant. “You were feverish, I told you to get over here to cool off--and so you wouldn’t infect the room.”

“Nice to know you care.” Keefe mumbled, eyes rolling.

“Of course I do,” he hissed back, then clamped his mouth shut.

Keefe stilled beside him, but Tam refused to move his gaze from where it bored a hole into the far wall, that frown from before resurfacing as his fingers dug into the railing he leaned on, bones and muscle turning to stone.

Silence screamed for long enough Tam was nearly convinced neither of them would ever speak again, and then--

“You’re gonna pass out if you stay so rigid. Didn’t anyone ever teach you to loosen up once in a while?”

Internally, he flinched, but his body remained impassive. He shot Keefe a glare. “You have to make everything into a joke, don’t you?”

It was Keefe’s turn to flinch, scowling as he looked away--but it lacked any real conviction, lethargy dimming the edges as he sniffled, a slight shiver running through him.

Tam’s frown deepened.

He watched--though if you asked if he’d been watching, he’d deny it--as Keefe’s attention snagged on something he couldn’t see, eyes distant as he flexed his hand over and over.

Flashes of cold nights and running noses, flush cheeks and wondering hoping begging Linh to wake, to be well, to push through the haze and find him again passed through his mind. Searching for herbs but not knowing what to look for, never enough supplies, coughs and setting suns and days stretching into weeks into months into eternity as Keefe faded further and further into that haze, away from him.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. “What?”

Somehow Keefe found a way to slump down even further, resting his head on his arm, squished cheek distorting his words as they spilled out, filter breaking like a dam under his exhaustion. “I don’t get you. You say you’ve been watching me all evening and tell me to come stand next to you, and then get all defensive and upset with everything I say. You’re feeling something strong enough I’m picking up flashes through the air, but I’m not touching you and I can’t think straight so I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t feel great. You say you care and then snap at me, what am I supposed to make of all that?”

Outburst over, Keefe stopped leaning on the rail entirely, instead lowering himself to the ground as he rubbed at his neck, still sniffling, staring off into the dark, sun long since gone.

Tam couldn’t help the lurch in his chest at the sight.

Keefe or the darkness, he couldn’t tell, but the jolt was there all the same.

“You must be worse than I thought if you’re getting all emotionally aware on me,” he peered down at him, trying to distract himself from the stone sitting in his chest.

“Seriously? You were just getting on my ass about making jokes out of everything.”

Shadows pulsed under his palms, swirling with an unidentified heat he didn’t want to think about. “Fine. You have a point there. I…sorry.”

“Whatever.”

Keefe made a dismissive gesture up at him, other hand still flexing, eyes closed now as he rested his face against the railing, legs crossed beneath him. It didn’t look comfortable.

After a few terse moments of debate with himself, both sides screaming adamantly, he huffed out a breath and lowered himself down hard, not giving himself a chance to second guess any longer.

“Do you want to read my emotions?”

Keefe sat up in surprise, looking over at the hand extended in offering.

“What? You’d let me?”

Teeth grinding, words slow, “You said you couldn’t tell through the air. Wouldn’t this help?”

Keefe searched his face as though making sure he was serious, and Tam fervently hoped there wasn’t anything to find as he reached to tug on his bangs. “Make a decision before I change my mind.”

That was all the encouragement Keefe needed, gaze sliding down his body--Tam swore he could feel its weight against his skin like static--to his hand, wrapping two fingers around his wrist as though taking his pulse.

Keefe’s eyelids fluttered as he inhaled, sudden and deep, grip tightening, a furrow between his brows as he pushed through his fatigue and into the maelstrom of emotion he’d been complaining about.

Trying not to squirm beneath the scrutiny, all he could do was watch, entirely unaware of what, specifically, Keefe was finding. What he’d learn.

Was this what it felt like when he read people’s shadow vapor, the sitting and the waiting?

Why had he agreed to this?

Why had he even suggested it?

A small, rebellious voice in the back of his head knew why, but he shoved it away before it could put voice to those thoughts.

“What--” Keefe made a face, scrunching up his nose, soft confusion in his tone, “what are you afraid of?”

Tam started. “I’m not--”

“You do realize you can’t lie to me, right?”

Keefe looked at him with an intensity that made him want to knock the look from his face, to turn around and walk into the night.

He settled for pulling his arm away, breaking the connection--or at least, he tried to.

As his wrist slipped from Keefe’s grip, he caught his hand, fingers brushing against his palm as he squeezed tight.

“Wait. I’m…sorry.” Keefe looked lost, fumbling for words, rubbing at his neck with his free hand. “I…didn’t mean to push you. It’s just a really strong feeling. It surprised me. Is it the thing with the gnomes? Because we’re going to figure it out and fix it.”

“I know that.”

“Then what…?” Keefe trailed off, looking lost, brows furrowing as he tried to think through the fog in his mind.

Tam’s grip tightened involuntarily, memories from his and Linh’s Exillium days flashing through his mind. “I don’t like sickness.”

Keefe nodded, still not quite following. “Well duh, no one does, it sucks--”

“It’s not the same for you,” he interrupted, looking away, leaning back against the railings, peering into the night sky as his stomach clenched. “When you’ve been sick, you’ve always been able to call on the best care your world has to offer, just a hail away. All the supplies you could ever need readily available. You’d be better by the morning as though it’d never even happened, just a slight discomfort, comfortable knowing you’d be just fine. You could take a day off, even. You never had to wonder if there was enough to treat you, if you could find what you needed, not sure when she’d get better and if she’d be okay to go to school, or if you’d have to leave her alone to go and get your beads, hoping you wouldn’t catch it because there wasn’t enough to treat the both of you and someone had to get the beads otherwise you’d be left behind.”

Tam cut off, biting his lip, for once not even caring what Keefe picked up on his palm, too distracted as he tried to get the images of Linh’s flushed cheeks, the shadows under her eyes, the tremor in her fingers as she propped herself against the wall, out of his head.

“Linh got sick,” Keefe whispered, more statement than question, but he decided to answer it anyways.

“Bad. It’d started out just a mild cold she must’ve caught from another wayward--fever, sniffles, headaches,” he glanced at Keefe’s flushed cheeks, blinking uncomfortably as he rubbed at his neck, both all too aware how it matched up with his symptoms, “but it didn’t go away. And we didn’t have anything to treat it with. And it got worse. A lot worse. I hated watching the sun set because she always shivered so badly without the sunlight’s warmth, no matter how hot I made my body. But the worst part was the only reason it got that bad was because we didn’t have any elixirs or treatment--but they exist. We just didn’t have access. And yet you do and throw it away,” he added at the end, bitterness coating his tongue.

Keefe swallowed, thumb pressed into the back of Tam’s hand. “I…guess I hadn’t thought about that.”

“No shit.”

For once, Keefe let the attitude slide, an incredibly unsettling phenomenon, because instead he was looking directly at Tam. He was suddenly reminded that with their hands still linked, he could still feel every single one of his emotions.

“What if--what if I promise to take something myself then? I still don't want to bother Elwin--the gnomes have him busy enough--but…you don’t need a physician to take elixirs. There’s probably something somewhere in whatever-the-hell this place is called--I wasn’t listening when Fork man said the name.”

“Me either,” Tam admitted. “It’s probably something stupid. Do you really plan to take something, or are you just saying that?” He couldn’t hide the skepticism in his voice, but Keefe would’ve felt it anyways.

Keefe made an offended noise. “I meant it! I’m trying to make you feel better about your sad life, because Foster keeps getting on my case about being nice to you and she’s so stubborn about it--and maybe I just like you, you ever thought about that?”

Unlike Tam, Keefe didn’t look the slightest bit concerned by the confession, grumpily playing with Tam’s fingers in his hand, poking at the veins beneath his skin. Though maybe he hadn’t thought through the consequences of saying it, or was too tired to.

“Do you?” Tam asked, quiet, braced against the answer.

Was he worried he’d say no?

Or that he’d say yes?

“I do,” he said, eyes on their linked hands, “more than I should.”

A heady rush passed through him, spine tingling as his stomach dropped--relief? Fear?

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Keefe’s already flushed face reddened further, as his brain started to catch up with where the conversation was headed, pressing his lips together as though he could stop it. But there was no way Tam was letting him walk away without answers and Keefe knew it; he’d opened the floodgates, now he had to ride out the wave. It was his own fault, really.

Sighing, he made a non-committal gesture as though that would explain everything. “We both know it would be better for both of us if…if no one had to put up with me. If I could just keep all my problems and feelings to myself instead of everyone else having to deal with the mess.”

Tam made a face, snapping, “You don’t have any right to say what would be better for me. Don’t make that choice for me.”

Starting back a little, Keefe tilted his head to the side, mouth falling open a touch, glassy eyes searching Tam’s.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you don’t get to decide what is and isn’t worth my time.”

Keefe’s breath caught, tongue between his teeth as he ventured, barely audible, “And me? Am I…?”

Tam didn’t answer for a moment, heartbeat screaming in his ears loud enough he could barely hear himself say, “You’re the empath, you tell me.”

A few moments passed, Keefe’s shaking fingers pressing against the lines of his palm with intention this time.

As the shaking spread, Keefe’s eyes widening as he glanced between him and his palm, Tam added, “Why do you think I invited you over here?”

“...Fresh air?”

Tam rolled his eyes, but tried to keep his voice gentle as he stared ahead. “Because…I wanted to keep an eye on you. Because I care and its--fuck it, its worth my time, alright? Don’t make me say it again.”

Against his better judgment, he glanced at Keefe, only to see a shit-eating grin starting to spread across his lips.

“Don’t push your luck,” Tam grumbled, shifting as he reached for his bangs with his free hand, fingers flexing in Keefe’s grip unconsciously.

Keefe nodded, smile mellowing, lingering until it turned into something uncertain. “Where…where does that leave us?”

Tam didn’t have an answer.

“Us?” he repeated instead.

Reddening, Keefe tried to backtrack, though he still didn’t let go of his hand.

But he was all out of words, quickfire mind finally exhausted, nothing left to shield himself as his mouth gaped and closed, nothing to save himself.

As if he’d ever need saving from Tam.

Scowling, he cursed idiot boys and stupid feelings, shaking his head, pressing his palm firmly against Keefe’s, deliberately thinking the words he didn’t know if he could voice again, bringing the feeling to the forefront of his very self.

I care.

Keefe hissed in a breath through his teeth. “I--oh.”

“Oh?”

“Us.”

It was all he said, but it was all he needed to say in that moment, because suddenly it was no longer a question.

It was an undeniable certainty.

“Alright,” Tam said, nearly lightheaded, “us.”

He didn’t think he minded his hand in Keefe’s anymore, whatever he’d find.

He’d already found exactly what Tam had wanted him to, what he’d been unwilling to admit he’d been hoping he would.

A shiver crawled through Keefe’s body, and for a moment Tam became the empath between the two of them. Unimaginable lethargy pulled at his bones, breath labored through narrowed airways, a fog in his mind trying to drag him into darkness.

They’d left his illness unspoken for a moment, distracted by their…whatever that conversation was, but no longer.

“You need to rest,” Tam instructed, gentle, but firm. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, but Keefe wouldn’t make it easy.

That, as expected, sparked something in Keefe, some last ditch effort to pull himself together. “No, there’s the resurgence, and we still have to reconvene with everyone--” “Please.”

The word surprised them both, stopping them short.

That…wasn’t what he’d meant to say.

But something in Keefe looked uncertain, lost, so he said it again. “Please, Keefe.”

“I…okay,” he deflated, words barely a whisper as he gave in, the bravado he’d put on slipping away, leaving him hunched over, sniffling, chills coating his bare arms on the now cold balcony, washed in the light spilling out from the room behind them.

Tam looked him over, nodding to himself--he believed him, that he’d listen for once in his life, though he didn’t know why. It wasn’t like Keefe. “I’ll find wherever their stash of elixirs is and bring them to you--why don’t you sit on the couch, get out of the cold?”

Another tremor ran through him as he finally let Tam’s hand slip from his as the two pushed to their feet in tandem, one much steadier than the other.

And even though their hands didn’t touch, not even the barest of brushes between their fingers, a silent electricity hummed between their bodies, tingling along his skin as they split. Keefe collapsed face first into the couch, groaning, and Tam moved to search the rest of the place in the quiet that followed, haunted by the hollow feeling of skin that hadn’t been touched, but nearly had been.

It didn’t take long for him to find a small, but well-equipped supply of medicinal elixirs, balms, and miscellaneous assortments for small injuries and ailments. He grabbed two he thought would help, shutting the doors behind him as quietly as possible, but they still echoed in the silent place--seriously, where was everyone else?

Had so little time passed that no one else had returned?

He could’ve sworn lifetimes had come and gone on that balcony.

So brief, and yet now the scope of his world had changed, new, undefined tethers drawing him to a certain troublesome boy with no sense of self-preservation or risk sprawled across the entirety of a couch.

Leaning over the back of it, peering down at him, Tam tapped the two vials he held against the back of Keefe’s head, smiling to himself as Keefe swatted half-heartedly at him.

“You already agreed, you don’t get to take it back.”

“I wasn’t going to!” he protested as he shifted to a propped up position, though it had less force than he would’ve expected. “I told you I meant it. I know everyone’s always telling me off for being stubborn, but I don’t always push back. I can make smart decisions.”

He’d believe it when he saw it.

Keefe grabbed the vials, uncorking the first.

Tam blinked as he downed the contents and studiously avoided his gaze. “You’re holding something back.”

Keefe scowled at his matter of fact tone as he downed the second, though his hands shook as he uncorked it. “Fine. Your story about Linh got to me, okay? I don’t want to worry anyone else.”

Of course. He’d never relent for his own sake, only to prevent himself from becoming a burden to others.

Idiot.

Keefe wrapped his arms around himself, shivering, waiting for the elixirs to kick in and for Tam to say something, but he was too busy scanning the room for a blanket, frowning when he came up short. Surely a secret, underground rebel organization trying to fix fundamental problems in their world had enough interior decor sense and time to have decorative blankets somewhere.

Apparently not.

“What are you looking for?”

“A blanket. You’re shivering, but I don’t see any,” he continued, ignoring Keefe’s mouth opening--likely to protest. He always had something to say. Infuriating.

Keefe didn’t like being ignored and rolled his eyes--though he winced with the action, probably aggravating whatever of his headache hadn’t eased yet--and grumbled, “This is ridiculous. I’m not even that cold. What are you even going to do about it without blankets? Share your body heat?”

It took a moment for Keefe to register what he’d just said, but when he did his eyes went wide, mouth snapping shut as he dared a glance at Tam.

He kept his face carefully impassive, but he reached up to tug at his bangs, habit traitorously giving his frazzled state of mind away.

Neither of them spoke for a moment longer--Keefe, because while sick, had the sense to realize he’d given away much more than he’d intended to tonight, and Tam because he had no idea what to do with everything Keefe had given him.

“Careful there, someone might think you actually wanted to be close to me,” Tam deadpanned at last, fingers still in the rough metal, though the joke fell oddly. Like with whatever their new us was, it didn’t fit anymore. Like it was just going through the motions without the venom behind it.

Keefe said nothing, but his gaze flickered, away from Tam’s face--only for a few moments, but long enough for Tam to see him rake it down his body before snapping back, and he could’ve sworn it lingered on his hands.

Tam stopped short, mind going blank. “...do you?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to,” was the answer he got, unable to tell if his flush was from sickness or embarrassment as he refused to meet Tam’s eye.

He gave his bangs one final tug before he dropped his hands, blurting out, “When we couldn’t keep warm in the neutral territories--before we’d learned to regulate our temperatures or when we were too tired--we’d share body heat.”

Keefe’s brow furrowed, looking up at him, uncertainty on his face. “...are you offering--”

“Well if you don’t want to--”

“I didn’t say that! You…you’re warm,” he tacked on at the end, trying to find a suitable explanation, but the hesitation gave him away.

Tam stayed silent for a moment, then, “Sit up.”

“I--huh?”

“I said sit up; you’re taking up the whole couch. Unless you want me to crush you with my body weight, I need space,” he continued, but Keefe was already scrambling to push himself up, freeing up a spot that Tam slid into, breath catching as their arms brushed together.

He’d been close to people before--closer, even, usually with Linh.

But something about Keefe’s arm against his jolted through him, every hair on his body standing on end.

“I’m not going to bite,” he said, amused, watching Keefe sit stunned beside him, rigid as a statue, a cornered animal ready to bolt. “Well, probably not.”

Keefe huffed, something sounding like asshole and fuck it spilling past his lips as he shifted closer, their legs pressing together too now, the static between them building, though neither mentioned it.

Quietly, glancing at him for permission as he did so, Keefe reached out and took Tam’s hand; he felt rather than saw the tremor that rocketed through him at the influx of emotions the touch provided, but Keefe just held on tighter.

Their breaths the only sound, they sat like that, pressed together, until Keefe’s shivers had started to abate.

“How are you so warm?” Keefe mumbled suddenly, starting to melt back into the cushions beside him--whether because he was comfortable or exhausted, Tam couldn’t tell. “You’d think a shadow guy would be freezing.”

“Shadow guy?”

“Shut up. You know what I meant.”

Keefe’s eyes had fallen closed, words slurring, chest moving slow, rhythmic.

Hardly daring to move, Tam watched as Keefe’s muscles gave in to sleep, his head tilting, falling in a slow arc towards him, until Keefe’s cheek was pressed against his shoulder, grip loosening in his hand.

Tam’s breath caught in his throat, but he stayed still--until Keefe started to slip, at just the wrong angle that gravity tried to pull him forward.

Before he could fall further, Tam caught him, grinding his teeth together as he weighed his options.

Gently, he shifted, hardly daring to breath lest he wake Keefe from his much needed nap, and just…adjusted his trajectory slightly.

Instead of falling forward and off the couch, or roughly shoving him back, Tam lowered his head into his lap, hands hovering over the rest of his body uncertainly before he finally let them settle on Keefe’s arm.

A few terse moments later, Keefe gave no sign of stirring, settling into the new position, breaths even--and Tam thought his color had improved too, the elixirs starting to kick in.

There was nothing else to do in the silence that followed but breathe an easy sigh, looking around at the well furnished room--unforgivably devoid of blankets, but otherwise lavish--the steady light, the stable structure, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happened next, he wasn’t--they weren’t--out there still.

That they could get what they needed, and enough of it.

They weren’t the only people looking out for them anymore.

Which brought a different problem to mind: where was everyone else?

Almost as soon as he put thought to the question, something prickled his senses, and the door across the room swung open, Biana bursting in with Linh close behind, breathless.

They stopped short at what they found as Tam tensed, Biana’s mouth falling open and Linh covering a knowing smile with her mouth.

“Don’t you dare say a word,” he hissed, glaring at them, heart pounding.

The glance the two shared and the grins that followed didn’t bode well for him.

But as Keefe shifted in his lap, sleeping peacefully, safely, recovering, skin soft against his own, he couldn’t quite remember why he cared.

#kotlc #kotlc fanfic #kotlc kam #quil's quill #quil's queries #nonsie #look guys I did it! i wrote a fic!#i am putting it out into the world you better be nice with it <3 #also I'm sooo good at titling things <33333 #okay I'll be quiet now enjoy the fic :)#nonsie I hope this satisfies your prompt I kinda created. a whole situation out of it #would've been so much easier if they were already established i don't know why I didn't do that #but hey. love a challenge!#maybe if this isn't enough cuddles I can write a follow up sometime in the future where they're more physically comfortable #i like how I said I'd stop talking and then I didn't #i'l actually stop now. very giddy atm I haven't posted fic in a while this is quite the rush

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