#how he talks abt charlie..... hey.

[slashpaws]

me when scrap baby's speech at the end of ffps

#SHE'S JUST A KIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS #and henry's speech. coughs up my lungs. #FUCK MAN. FUCK. #''don't keep the devil waiting old friend'' i'm gonna throw up. #in a good way. #im insane. #''be still and give up your spirits. they don't belong to you.'' SCREAMS. #hyperventilates. #how he talks abt charlie..... hey. #fuckingggggggggggggggg iconic. goodbye. #talking.txt

[qmorningcrew]

dump all your ideas abt ur summer camp au i want to hear it

ahhhhhh first of all anon ily <333

here’s my ideas for the summer camp au so far :)

- it’s called quesadilla summer camp (im so creative lmao)

- the camp was created on an experiment. if it went well, they would implement the plans on a larger scale. (what’s the experiment? it’s assumed it has something to do with crossing the language barriers but no one actually specifies)

- all participants get college scholarships

- but the whole thing is really badly executed? like it just does not have the set up or functionality of a normal summer camp

- there’s just very little supervision or guidance

- the camp is run by some version of the duck, and they’re very uninvolved which leads cucurucho and zero to just Not Care.

- counselors are rubius, cucurucho, and the code entity

- the code entity goes by zero

- zero really doesn’t talk but they all learn pretty easy it’s how fucking awful of an idea it is to piss them off

- cucurucho and zero are they/it besties

- rubius is the same age/around the same age as the campers, cucurucho and zero are older

- sometimes one the campers walks into their cabin and sees an entirely new person in their cabin, which is normal. they switch cabins constantly

- the first week people just keep. randomly wandering off. “where’s wilbur?” two hours later wilbur walks out of the woods with a rock. (not even like a cool rock. it’s just a normal fucking rock)

- phil’s the mom friend. but he’s still a disaster. he’s just the only one with any shred of responsibility. he’s also just got an aura of trustworthiness that makes everyone trust him with their problems

- fit is just. so chill

- he also just? always has what you need? “yeah sorry it’s a bit hot in here, a screw that seemed important fell out of the fan earlier so we haven’t turned it on yet” “oh! i think it’s in here- nope screwdriver’s in the left pocket, where did you say the screw was?”

- dan just kinda disappears for a bit? cucurucho tells the campers he went on vacation but they don’t entirely believe them. dan comes back a little different.

- spreen is always either starting chaos or nowhere to be found

- quackity manages to keep putting himself in the middle of like every problem whether he’s involved or not

- however charlie pretty much is always involved

- luzu is had DID and arin is an alter

- luzu does know about arin but he was just diagnosed and is still figuring it all out

- roier flirts with everyone (except jaiden, he respects her boundaries)

- wilbur brought his guitar with him and sings at the campfire some nights

- charlie only joins in on the meme songs

- jaiden finds the most. random shit. “hey guys i found $20 stuck to the bottom of the picnic table with a piece of gum” “oh dude look! a patch of four leaf clovers!” “woah look at this cool bottle cap i just found!”

- maximus is a conspiracy theorist but in like a, hey this actually genuinely makes sense kind of way

- bad is terrified of spiders

- he saw one in the bathroom of his cabin and was completely moved in to a different cabin within seven minutes

- roier finds this hilarious

- foolish and vegetta are dating. no one knows how they got together or when they got together. if you ask either of them, you’ll get two completely different answers

- the brazilians join two-ish weeks in

- they all arrive together in a bus together and have already formed a Friendship on the journey there

- the bus was almost set ablaze 4-6 separate times (depends on your definition on separate)

- there is an extremely done cucurucho driving the bus

- forever sees phil and immediately turns to tell felps how that is the man of his dreams

- mike and pac are inseparable. they’re just kind of always within the vicinity of each other.

- cellbit, bad, foolish, and maximus attempt to take over the camp together. it doesn’t go as planned.

#im so tired lmao i would not be surprised if half of this is incomprehensible #qsmp #qsmp au #qsmp summer camp au #qsc #twig speaks

[intertexts]

TRIVIA TIIIIIME. THIS IS ONE OF THE LONGEST ONES YET !!!! IM SO FUCKING HYPE FOR U TO BE HERE THIS IS A BIG MILESTONE

EPISODE 13 TRIVIA:

- FIRST OFFICIAL PIECE OF MARK WINTERS ART !!!!!! HELL YEAAAAAH THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING COOL. this man haunts me

- bizly is talking about how he was fucking SWEATING all week before they recorded this ep bc he thought for sure william and vyncent were gonna just get in there and mirder the lich immediately. grizzly starts to say something like "no i wont-" and bizly cuts him off like "im not worried about YOU. youre my shining star, my golden boy"

- charlie, in response to this: "well. you should feel better because i cant even win against a WALL"

- grizzly: "i was really hoping youd take the bait and depower the villains. i was hoping to give you a cool idea with that"

- "the lich shouldnt even be alive, hes undead, hes breaking the laws of-"

charlie, interrupting "OKAYYY HEY NOW LETS NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT" << GETTING. INSULTED ON WILLIAMS BEHALF. AHA

- Dakotas memory about his dad pranking him in the car is an ACTUAL THING THAT GRIZZLYS DAD USED TO DO !?!?!?!!

- "william took 4 degrees of failure from punching a wall so hard your bone popped out" "yeah kind of like how i took 4 degrees of failure from sniffing a bag of doritos. kind of like how i took 4 degrees of failure from dakota comically picking me up and throwing me into a dumpster. all my trips to the spirit world are so pathetic"

- bizly: "okay let me say. you were going to go to the spirit world at the end of this regardless, i just saw an opportunity there and took it. originally i was gonna have you see a wisp while you were alive and follow it through a door or something" << AAURGRHRGHRGGH. i loooove talking abt williams powers

- HELLOOOOO THE FUCKING ANIMATIC. GOD. MAKES ME FUCKING CRAZY

- they all want to do a body swap episode. fully freaky friday moment where they cant switch back until they learn something about each other. i also want them to do this i think it would be funny

- bizly: "i love dakota dakota is one of my favorite characters in media."

(bizly: "because i relate to him"

charlie: "well THATS worrying.")

- "dakota doesnt necessarily *ignore* the why when thing happen hes just really... slow. it takes him a long time to reflect on things. it either takes him a really long time to process things and come to a conclusion OR he will just pull sage wisdom out of thin air because hes so simple minded. he'll just think for a really long time before he comes to these ideals that ive written for him as a player. itll come around, it'll just take him a long time to get there. as a player i know what kind of hero i want dakota to end up as at the end of it all" << i cant even add anything to this. grizzlyplays i am shaking you like a sack of rocks

- another mention about how dakota and chip riptide would be best friends i love this recurring bit

- "what did you guys think about seeing wavelength in the prison"

"uhh. hes mean :("

"it was awesome seeing him again, he scares me"

"it made me feel guilty that we havent found ashe yet"

- grizzly: "if he gets out of prison im gonna kill him" << HEAD IN HANDS

- "william wisp experiences incompetence consistently"

- hey remember in the episode how when william rolled to see if he was okay breathing inside the prison cell and bizly said something along the lines of "youre only hyperventilating because you *think* you should be, youre actually fine" << think about this in context with what you know now :) and hold onto it for the beginning of 14

- theyre talking about what happened between william and mark over the 10 month timeskip: william contacted him at some point, not really about anything in particular, just to ask him if he knew anything about ashe that could help thsm find him/updating him on their progress finding ashe. then when they started playing again william stopped contacting him (for meta reasons, charlie just forgot that was an option BUT) bizly took note of that anyway and thats why mark was so hostile right off the bat. he just like. stopped hearing things from william and didnt know what was going on anymore. so when they showed up here and had no update on ashe whatsoever it just made him think they werent actually doing anything to find him

- grizzly: "man you would thing being in prison and losing his son would give this man some perspective and adjust his personality but he just became more of an asshole"

bizly: "no, the problem is youre not thinking about it from his perspective!! youre only thinking about it from dakotas point of view where hes a villain and hes doing bad things so hes bad. hes just a guy who thought he was doing what he had to do to keep his son safe"

charlie: "okay but he like locked his son up forever"

bizly: "yeah i never said he was a good person! and then some teenagers came along and made him rebel and now he wants to be a super hero and the first thing that happens is he gets possessed" << THANK YOUUUU BIZLY. THANK YOU BIZLY. JUSTICE FOR MY HORRIBLE MAN

- they keep referring to overlord as "alligator guy" because they forgot his name. charlie even at one point goes "yeah and he was a crocodile or whatever, dont you know those are power level 9" << this will never stop being funny to me

- "HEY WILLIAM what do you think about dying again"

- charlie is Very concerned about the no blood thing. his theory rn is that the archway he saw was like "crossing over" for ghosts. like fully passing on and not being ghosts anymore. seeing himself/his memories in the prison cells was very poetic, he kind of feels trapped by himself right now. hes the most curious about the 5 empty chairs and what that could possibly mean

- theyre trying to figure out who the group of 5 could possibly be. williams old group didnt have 5 people, prime defenders doesnt have 5 people even with ashe so they have no ideas right now and are excited to find out more :)

- "williams pretty fucked up right now to be honest!!! we just spent an episode and a half arguing about how we're allowed to kill the lich because its undead and not human. and then he learns hes fucking deteriorating. uh oh! now hes probabky thinking 'am i even a person?' i dont even know if he knows what to think about the spirit world right now i think hes just kind of panicked"

- "if only the ghost of party city were here, hed know what to say about this"

- "how is vyncent feeling right now?" "hes still kind of pissed. his one goal of killing the lich after all these years was just ripped away from him. hes accepted it for now but if that lich escapes. man hes gonna go nuts"

SUCH an insanely good episode dude hoooooly shit. head in hands. everybody say thank u bizlychannel!!!!! man. this was SO good man it really does feel like.... not a turning point, necessarily, but very important. honestly, really glad that by now they've had time to really like, sit with their characters & the world & let it all steep for a while? this season already really feels like such a tonal shift & kind of a step up frm season 1 so far!! (NOT that season 1 also wasn't really fucking good. but a lot of what we've got in s2 so far feels a lot more settled and cohesive) im here for it!!! LOVED the animatic that shit was crazy. if thats a precedent they're setting now im gonna go wild.

I ALSO THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA MURDER THE LICH. i was like ohhhh great this is how we get the vigilante on the run arc its gonna be so bad theyre never gonna see tide again. phew!!!! i mean, i, too, still think the lich should be dead. but. also yeah WHAT DO YOU MEAAAN THATS A REAL THING HIS DAD DID. FUCKING CRAZY.

what else.. having so many thoughts about william's Situation . as always. man. it's so fucked up. i have no clue where any of it's going dude... the only thought i have is that i don't think. we have any real context for the five thrones thing yet. i don't think that's related to anything we already know except. mayyybe mal. i think that's some spirit world-specific bullshit! we'll see though. we'll see.

YEAH <333 DAKOTA IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS IN MEDIA TOO <33333 auaurrghghhggghhh. ohh hes so everything 2 me. also i love seeing characters who don't Get Everything Immediately. like yeah! you got time to parse through it all in yr brain man. hell yeah rotate it in ur mind for weeks before coming to a conclusion!! no one has their entire belief system hammered out in advance!!

+ also feeling fucking unhinged over mark winters. as always.

#GODDD this was great trivia thabk u mac ive been chewing on it all dayyyyyyyyyyy... i love u permanently incompetent at everything Except #being a scooby doo character william wisp. #mac tag! #pd lb #man. i wanna talk about william wisp for another several hundred words but i feel like i should finish 14 first.!!

[sp1drrthwips]

okay late christmas gift from charlie again but wtv ...

CH☆R'S REQUEST 💌

robert 'bob' floyd x gn!reader

reader has been avoiding bob + overworking themselves, bob being the wonderful boyfriend material, he asks reader but it doesn't seem to work no matter how hard he tried ( etc, talking / trying to comfort them ,, asking them whats wrong ) , he then asks Phoenix for help on ways to help you ... ( idk what else u continue , )

OVERACHIEVER

platonic! bob x aviator! gn reader ; fluff / angst

summary — r has been overworking themself for the upcoming mission, avoiding bob in the process — that is, until an accident happens in the air

content / cws — mentions of overworking, blacking out, and a jet crash

a/n — i feel very meh abt this oneshot, and i'm not sure if this is exactly what you wanted, but it was all i could think of so hopefully you like it <3

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

you were an overachiever, you knew that. hell, it was your call sign for a reason. it wasn't that you were trying to be better than others, no, simply that you were scared to disappoint, so you made sure you went above and beyond to manage expectations.

this mission scared you, it scared the other pilots too. flying at a level was way past the hard deck, being on the verge of blacking out, pushing your jet to the breaking point — it was a lot, but, being in the 'best of the best' tier in the navy, you had no choice but to train excessively. okay, maybe not excessively, that was a you thing.

in the process of overworking yourself, you ended up pushing away everyone close to you, leaving you to be by yourself so you could focus on training. you were good friends with bob, but you also didn't know him for that long, so he had only seen this happen once before. he had absolutely no idea how to help you. he tried to ask phoenix for advice, but she had just told him to talk to you about it, and that was the thing, he didn't know how to. he had come up with the general things he wanted to bring up, but maybe it was way too late for that.

you remembered the events all too well, how you could not? it was just a few hours ago. you pushed yourself too hard for the exercise, you had gotten the closest to hitting the target than anyone else, but ended up blacking out in the process of going up the simulated mountain that lead to coffin corner. maverick managed to wake you up with the loud alarm that came along when an enemy locked onto your jet, but by the time you regained consciousness it was too late to save your jet, leaving you to eject at the very last second possible.

now you sat in a hospital bed, head resting against the back of it with your eyes shut and nails digging into the arm rests of it. you were sure that no one could be more disappointed in you than yourself right now.

"hey, uh— earth to [n]?" you were pulled out of your thoughts, opening your eyes to be met with bob standing at the side of your hospital bed, "hi, bob."

sitting down in the chair beside your hospital bed, bob's facial expression contorted into puzzled look, as if he was trying to make sense of something.

"i need to talk to you about something," he began rambling on and on about how unhealthy your overworking habits were, "you can come to me, y'know."

"i know." looking down at your lap, you felt tears well up in your eyes, bob was nothing but a sweetheart to you, and you pushed him away. he noticed and immediately pulled you into a hug, well, the best he could manage with you being in a hospital bed.

"i have to go back out with phoenix, so i'll see you later, okay?"

"okay." you smiled, watching as he jogged out the room to phoenix, who was waiting outside with her eyebrow raised. she patted him on the back and gave you a quick wave before dragging him away.

#top gun maverick #top gun bob #robert floyd #robert bob floyd #top gun bob x reader #robert floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x reader #₊˚⊹ᰔ requests .ᐟ

[brains-n-guts]

Hazbin Hotel villain Rant n random bullshit!!!

So as many of you suspect for season 2 of Hazbin Hotel (HH) that the Vees or mainly Vox is going to be the main villain in this season, it js makes sense for them to be the villain they’re literally planning something

They’re mad devious fr fr but I’m not talking abt them or season 2 Im talking about after that, Idk how many seasons Vizzipop’s planning to make but at the end of the series the main villain is Going to be Alastor.

Ik how many of ya’ll absolutely adore Al, but you have to agree that he would be the perfect villain for the finale.

Let me explain why. Alastor clearly has alternate motives than Charlie, which was clearly stated in the pilot episode and in the first season, he doesn’t believe in the idea of redemption he’s only there bc it’s “entertaining”, and this really got me thinking if that’s really the real reason he’s there, I mean he’s literally in hell there’s gotta be entertaining stuff there. Maybe this goes deeper than we think, what if he plans on using the hotel for something other than Charlie’s redemption idea. I mean Alastor is a powerful demon, a deal maker of sorts

Him making the deal with Charlie:

But what if he’s using the hotel for own personal gain?

I feel like that would make more sense

Example of why:

It’s clear that Alastor isn’t that powerful as he makes out, there’s someone or something else more powerful then our beloved radio demon that owns his soul; he doesn’t like anyone brings up, we could see this with Husker’s and Alastor’s little ‘chat’. but maybe this mystery person is why he left for 7 years trying to escape the bars he’s trapped behind.

Proof:

He’s clearly plotting something, I think maybe revenge, getting his freedom that he desires but I’m still confused about something

Could this mean about the his deal? And I’m not talking about the deals he made with other people, and the souls he owns I’m talking about his personal deal he sold his soul, and Ik I said this before but could this line “the constraints of my deal surely have a back door” mean that’s he’s desperate, trying to fine his way out of his personal hell in hell?

———————————————————————-

But hey, that just a theory. A FILM THEORY!

I hope this makes sense sorry if it doesn’t especially the last part, this originally was going to be a rant about the Vees and their contribute to the next season with being the main villains & shit. Anyway feel free to share your ideas and thoughts abt this

Sorry if I repeated stuff!!!

#alastor altruist #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #idk how to tag this #to be fair idk how to tag anything #i really hope this makes sense

[razberrypuck]

ep 102 liveblog

jehfjegdg thank you for this intro condi

NO THEYRE LEAVING ALREADY?????

GRYFFON 🙏🙏🙏

JAHSJWUDHSH "chip, I can't lie, tell him he did good out there"

chip flat out lying so hard it made grizz break character

"because the beyond section is actually navy ran" "whaaaaat D:????? noooooo!!!!"

"its government subsidized fucking mystery cave. fucking sure I guess."

"she told her no" "thanks for listening, gryffon" "no problem"

QUEEN 👏👏👏👏

"okay queen is being based right now" YEAHH YOU GET IT GILL

"can I just insight check queen" JWHWHDHAGDY

QUEEN I LOVE YOU <33333

jay: I was right to be angry, right? she was kinda making me feel bad about it

gillion: you reacted more than -- MORE than fairly

chip: I have a lot of opinions, none of them matter. I'm not gonna tell you how to feel.

gill giggling at chip going "I'll show you my hidden darkness" we love visible character development he would've gotten ready to throw down if this were early campaign

"no, it's like a metaphor" "a meta for what?"

gillion quietly trying to comfort jay im not okay..............

gillion: I'm just gonna be straight with you guys, if they fucking....murked a god of the undersea or something, or disrupted the natural order of life, I might be up for a little war."

jay and chip immediately being down to join the war on the side of the undersea hello???? they weren't lying these captains really are ride or die

hey actually I want to talk abt how MUCH having gillion be their moral backbone (whether they like it or not) has changed chip and jay. I don't have the words right now but I want to talk about it. you get it.

GRIZZ DO NOT BRING UP EDYN HOW COULD YOU

OHHH GRIZZ HOW FUCKING COULD YOU

OHHHH ITS AVA'S HANDWRITING ISNT IT

FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF >:[

" 'your face makes it look like a good memory' and I close her hand over the pin" GILLION TIDESTRIDER

gillion's trying so hard to bring jay comfort dude ohh my god. im so emotional over them.

JSJFJSH TAKING A SAFETY SNIFF

"he's not evil. he's just angry." "and a dick." "and a dick."

"we've got an arlin to find" "well, I was thinking first, maybe we could... see what was going on with edyn" OH CHIP. EVERYONES BEEN GOING THROUGH FAMILY SHIT AND HE KNOWS HOW WORRIED GILLS BEEN OHH HE WANTS TO BRING GILL TO HIS SISTER CHIPPPPPPP

hes a little confused but he's got the spirit

oh chip picked up on gill changing the subject 👀

"okay. I'd like that." STOP GILLION YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME. hes forcing himself to be more open gillion I love you

EARLLLL

JAHDHSJD WALKS OUT IMMEDIATELY CALLING OUT DREY LOVE YOU EARL

BEST FRIEND????????

drey earl stole your bestie

chip and gillion suspicious of queen

give me finn please gillion go see your grandpa

FINN TIDESTRIDER

"the g-paw dap is the nose squeeze" AWH

NOOO THEY EXPIDITED IT GRANDPA COME BACK

enza <333

"I dap her up as soon as she comes through the portal" "I give her a refreshing earl juice drink" "I give her a hug and I say hi" enza just join the crew fr they love you

JAHRHEJ CHARLIE

THE FUCKING COMPASS

OHHHH CHIP. HIS DEEPEST DESIRE IN THIS EXACT MOMENT IS TO HELP REUNITE GILL AND EDYN FUCK OFFFFFFF

grizz what are you doing.

PERMANENTLY INCREASE HIS STRENGTH BY ONE??????? HELLO???????

GRIZZ

THE FUCKING SUN DREAM AGAIN

YEAHHHH JAY YES JAY

JAY HETEROCHROMIA POG???????? HOLY SHIT??????????

JAYYYYYYYYY 👏👏👏👏👏👏

"I'd like to go whaling" "gillion just looks at you until you stop having the idea" "okay nevermind I don't want to go whaling"

oh jay wants to call ollie :[

the fact that zero could see the whole fight. dude. that's kinda sick.

"did we take you to the BLOCK?????" "ollie I'm happy you're home." jsjdnsfbfj

"they call me uncle rizz ferin" JDJFJSJFHHSH DREY

"I cast protection of evil and sex on myself"

JAFHSGDHS BIZLY AND CHARLIE FREAKING OUT

oh they really didn't think about their disguised huh

AMANDA RINN???? AMANDA RINN????????

"we're the boobatross"

blonde chip with big pants, pants elemental, and jeay ferin

lionel starr, jortstorm, and gene applebottom

JULIAN!!!!!!!!!!! JULIAN MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPTAIN AMANDA RINN

GILL DONT GILL DONT GILL DONT

"lionel starr has never been married he doesn't believe in it"

HOW DID THEY FUCK THIS UP SO BAD?????????

NOOO THEY GOT ARRESTED

jahdhdhf amanda I love you

"what do you want me to say to her, I forgot I have the message spell" "move on, he's dead"

gillion head in hands

JAHDHSJD GILL KISSED HIM ON THE FOREHEAD

gillion's better at lying than chip?????

"they don't like you, but you get through"

gill immediately assuming edyn must be mad at him :((((

"happy low-tide to ya"

oh she hasn't come back.

oh she's letting him use her callnch........

please please please

"hiiiiiiii. it's, um... hi, edyn, it's me, gillion. um, just... wanted to give you a call. I know you might've seen the number and thought it was weird. um, but, in case you're by the phone right now and are just letting it ring out or something, 'cuz you thought it was work and are quitting, I'm just gonna scream really loud in case you're somewhere nearby -- [gillion screaming] -- in case you just hear that and you wanna run into the room and pick it up, 'cuz I know you can hear the voice message, um... okay, um, well... I just wanted to tell you that I, um, kinda sorta broke my phone, um... 'cuz I was really scared. and. I know you're okay, but I hope you're okay. um... I know you're out there doing really really big stuff... but... your little brother really misses you, especially lately. and... would give a lot to hear your voice again, um... I hope the gods bring us together soon, and... I just wanted to tell you that chip, jay, and I, and all of the other riptide pirates are sailing into the black sea, and it's, um... it's pretty dangerous stuff. I've got no doubt that we'll come back, and... sooner or later, our paths will cross, I just... I pray that it's sooner. I was... really upset. but. I think I can understand now, if you gave me a chance. And, um... I hope that this is the last message that we leave for each other. love you a medan, edyn. nope. that's nothing. love you a -- love you a m-mu-mi-gh-gu-mm- bye."

his deepest desire is still for gill to see edyn

northern sea. that's where the capital is. she's in the undersea.

"it's like if you found out your plug was a cop, but he's still your plug" I love you gillion tidestrider

"narc to narc" JAHDHWKJF GILLION

"we're the types of characters that would start making noises to comfort each other"

yooo cave song (not normal about how, once again, gillion is the one to start the song stuff)

it's a portal, not an actual gate. interesting.

the black sea is just one massive dead zone isn't it. god.

THE TREE. THE TREE. ITS THE TREE.

FUCKING GOOP BEETLES. GOOP MONSTERS.

#jrwi riptide #jrwi spoilers #jrwi riptide spoilers #jrwilb

[cutemeat]

hey do you have any thoughts abt dee + waitress in s15? I feel like there’s something there that I’m not picking up on but you might have thoughts on lol

Oh boy DO I anon!!!!

I’ve already pointed out before how s15 brought s5’s “cat in the wall” metaphor full circle, wherein s5 the "cat" (dennis) goes into the "wall" (closet) then comes OUT of the wall in s15 ep07 (“i'm sure he’ll come out at some point ... Got himself in there… I'm sure he’ll get himself out”) but then in that same s15 episode (s15 ep07), Dee gets the Waitress stuck after Dennis comes out of the wall.. So basically what I inferred from that is that Mac/Dennis’ whole long-ass slow burn “will-they-wont-they” is about to get some resolution onscreen soon, since it felt like that was one of the storylines being toyed with and pitched in s12-s14… and while s15 was setting up for that kind of arc they pitched to have some actual PAYOFF in the future, that may mean that after that will-they-wont-they gets resolved, they’ll need a new one: and that’s where Dee/Waitress come in... I believe that since Dee gets Waitress stuck in the bog at the end, this is basically the Cat in The Wall metaphor from "Break Up" rebooted but for Waitress/Dee (since also the breaking up plot beats are echoed in 15x07 by Frank/Charlie's tense arc in that episode) now instead of Mac/Dennis.

My theory here also has threads that began in “Frank’s Pretty Woman" since threads from that episode were brought up again in "Gets Romantic"... in s14 as a whole actually, Dee is clearly struggling with being alone more and more as the show progresses. She needs a sidekick, as Frank n Charlie said at the end of "Mac & Dennis Break Up"... And in s15 they were talkin abt how they needed someone else to work at the bar... so why not Waitress? yknow... <3

Now another reason why I think this is actually a possible plot line and not just totally out of the question is because back in 2018, there was talk about a pilot (entitled “Mean Jean” on IMDB) being developed by Rob McElhenney and Rob Rosell which centered around a lesbian couple. Now, the reason why this is interesting to me is because 1. Rob Rosell had stopped working on Sunny after s10.. but he came BACK for s15 where this deetress stuff really picked back up to me and 2. One of the characters in the couple was supposed to be played by Kaitlin (named “Birdie” lol) so uh… I just have a bit of a HUNCH here ok.. .

https://variety.com/2018/tv/news/fox-comedy-pilot-from-rob-mcelhenney-rob-rosell-1202795531/

https://variety.com/2018/tv/news/leah-remini-rob-mcelhenney-rob-rosell-fox-pilot-1202847084/

https://deadline.com/2018/08/kaitlin-olson-to-star-in-foxs-rob-mcelhenney-rob-rosell-comedy-pilot-1202438553/

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/kaitlin-olson-joins-rob-mcelhenney-170751000.html

https://deadline.com/2018/05/rob-mcelhenney-rob-rosell-comedy-pilot-order-fox-1202381433/

That being said, I am a big pattern-seeker and could 100% just be seeing what I want to see rather than picking up on any real hints here so keep that in mind. rcg may very well have no fuckin clue about any of this n never intended it LOLL. So as always take what I'm saying with a big grain of salt... I just think it'd be pretty cool if that was the direction they were going in so its fun to entertain the possibility. Tbh even if there was a plotline between Dee/Waitress that wasn't romantic, I'd still personally love to see Waitress become part of the main cast and move in with Dee or smth...

Cuz again the subtext of that s15 Bog plotline to me was that she has gotten so sucked into the gang's bullshit despite her best efforts to escape them that she'd probably fit right in with 'em.

#we still know next to nothing abt s16 so i can still have my nonsense for a little bit longer til the reality comes crashing back in okok #this is just my routine. the blue sky phase if u will #except i have no actual insight or power over the direction of the show KJFDNGKFJ so.. #again take everything i say w a grain of salt LOLLL i dont know Shit! #deetress #cats in the wall #u kno theres smth wrong w me cuz i saw their meeting in s15 at the studio n wasnt like 'oh they hate each other' i was like #''omg they did a callback to Waitress is Getting Married this is the meet-cute for an enemies to lovers storyline-'' #srry im like this

[sunnydice]

aheem heem 12 and then like. all of the 20s?

YES KISSA YOU O7 doing dsmp ones uhm

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

well you already know what the hell i'm going to say...ceeschlatt i'm so sorry he only did some of that you guys are so annoying. i think a huge chunk of his story is just like. Canonically Textually way deeper and more sympathetic and more complicated than people want to acknowledge. guys will have direct blatent narrative foil parallels of their mistakes to their blorbo of choice but only one side will get a million excuses and only one side will get their pov analyzed. OK 👍. telephone game ass fanbase. read the parallel storyline of what would've happened had pogtopia won read the nov 16 script look at the canonical smplive isms analyze why someone would want to "revive someone for political power" desperate style after a funeral where it was Blatantly Clear that person has absolutely Zero Power and it paralleling the post charlie death insanity. and then you will calm down!!

honorable mention to ceefundy as well. i wouldn't say he's unpopular unpopular but goddamn. despite the fact he's so interesting and cool and inpactful and represents huge chunks of Core Themes, he just gets ignored and infantalized and has so much of his story plain Erased because it's inconvenient to other characters. Fucked!!!

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

ceeranboo so sorry ok. iget why people like him i do but he is so so bland to me. shepards tone empty promise of a character. to me. some of his implications were pretty interesting, especially when it came to things that were more complicated, the exile isms the being knowingly complicit in ctommy prison murder or him drinking ableist copium abt tubbo being kind of unhinged. the centristism sometimes feeling less waffly and more like he's trying to people please to the point of exploding. too bad i do not care ☝️🔛🔝

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

and if i say tntduo..it's been so overhyped it overshadows everyone else it overshadows their own damn characters entire arcs and decisions and then the whole story itself they are not allowed to be anything except eachothers klance bait which was equally as mid. i do think there is value to it but at this point i am so exhausted about the oc versions being treated like canon when on screen its so bad out here sometimes. ppl going ohhh we never got resolution :[ ,,,.ccwilbur blatantly said what would've happened in the final tntduo stream. cwil would show back up to lnv in the same set up of his apologies but its a bait and switch that pivots into insulting q again and then finish it up w oh hey maybe yr not so bad after all 😂 and then he gives him a fist bump and leaves. there's yr closure. lea me alone

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

i already said i think pumpkinduo is like funny comedy mallets for crazy people but i think most other things get attention properly? el rapids deserved more hype tho i srs think it would change how people see a lot of the characters involved

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

im not sure? weird shit is a given but other than that who rlly care <- edit: HELP i misread the question i thought it was asking what you are Unwilling to come around to. so sorry. to answer the actual question uhm,,still not very sure hheheh im very solid in my dislikes and likes and complaints

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

exile and the prison for sure :heart_hands: /RETCH. sure other things are very annoying but the levels these two arcs get to are Awful and Telling and Shitty the media illiteracy is off the charts. how you can watch streams with your eyes closed and ears closed and without registering the words or characters on the screen. what's going on. anyways if cdrm thinks torture is so bad maybe he should not talk about eye for an eye when he had tortured three people before he was even in the prison. but okay. also rip prison arc sam the world wasn't ready for a character like you 🙏

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

i'm not sure? what are the most common complaints i do happen to agree with a lot of them i think

#thank you sm fr the ask iam kissing!! you!!!! #ask games #huri.txt #solsync #♡ #askatraz

[starboystation]

HhGggGghBb imaginary friend crutchie my beloved

#ive said this at least 38737363653 times before but its TRUE #istgggg hes licherally the best #he always knows how to make me feel better #and he always Does make me feel better and like. jfc HOW DOES HE DO THAT #ill feel like its the end of the world but hes just 'hey its ok i love you' and im just. fine #like. WHAT #who needs therapy when you have an imaginary friend (/j /j /j therapy is important) #charlie.txt #charlie talks abt their imaginary friends!!

[isimpoveryou]

𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲

chris evans x reader

fc: charlie howard

are your request open? can you do a Chris Evans x reader? and the face claim is Charli Howard

AN: im just gonna shade my cousin in this fict

warning: english is not my first language

tw: ppl talking abt body image??

{𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦}

yourinstagram ✔︎

Liked by chrisevans and 2,890,901 others

yourinstagram some picts for my new agency @musemodelsnyc

view all 20,780 comments

y/nfan279 y/n really said fuck model beauty standard

randomuser88 lmao why would anyone hire you as a model

musemodelsnyc well we do!

randomuser literally also why is chris dating her anyway

chrisevans as always beautiful

yourinstagram i love you so much

chrisfan278 can ppl stop talking abt her body!! shes literally perfect. all body's are beautiful btw, so stop being such an asshole to someone who is bigger. we are in the 21st century, so grow up.

yourinstagram im- crying rn

chrisevans ✔︎

Liked by yourinstagram and 6,901,890 others

chrisevans ❤

view all 31,092 comments

chrisfan70 the prettiest girl i've ever seen

chrisfan11 we know that he is in love when he post something abt them

y/nfan270 beauty

randomuser i dont get why chris is dating her

chrisevans its because she is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen and spread positivity to the world unlike you

yourinstagram ✔︎

Liked by brielarson and 7,902,290 others

yourinstagram the most frequent question ppl asked me is "how do you love your own body that easily?" for me its because for the scars and my squish body has all a meaning. my scars is something i went through and trying to hide it for a long time until i realized its ok to have scars and its normal to have so you dont need to waste your money on anything to get rid of it. for my body it wasnt really hard since i have always talk abt this in a interview. our body do things differently with literally everyone theres someone who eats a lot but never gets squish and theres someone who eats healthy but gets squish (theres also someone who between that). also try to dont compare your body and try to look at yourself in the mirror, literally just look at yourself and try to get all the good compliment out. thats pretty much all. thank you for asking me abt it too. just dm me if any of you struggle and i will help you.

comments were disabled

yourinstagram ✔︎

Liked by chrisevans and 3,289,009 others

yourinstagram the first round and he lost to an 7 year old

view all 23,901 comments

chrisfan278 he will be a great dad (i just know it)

chrisfan200 jsjsjsbwjdjd this is so cute

y/nfan901 pls someone get me like chris evans lawddd

yourinstagram asked scar jo

chrisevans hey i won the fourth round

yourinstagram which was the last one round

#chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris jamal evans #fake instagram #social media au #instagram au #social media imagines #fake social media #charlie howard

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader

[cloudy-leonhart]

puppy dog eyes. | eren j.

honey's notes: I like to think that Eren is a big dog person, and I had a dream about this fic and I had to write it. I also used to have a dog, his name was milo and he was absolutely adorable.

summary: a new puppy widens your family, Eren never had a problem until he saw you giving every ounce of your attention to your pup! He's got competition and he doesn't like it.

female reader.

theme: fluff.

TW; eren being jelly, swearing, talking abt a baby.

recommended song: oops - Little Mix, Charlie Puth.

"Reader! Let's get this one!" Eren crouched in front of a small german shepherd pup as it scratched the glass dividing them from each other. "Look! He really wants to go home with us! Pretty please, Reader??" Eren looked up at your figure, who was getting a kick out of seeing him beg.

"You're absolutely sure, you want," You stopped to look at the documents taped on the front of the glass, "Milo? is his name." Eren nodded as he put his finger on top of the glass, right on top of the puppy's paw, he looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Don't do that, Eren. You're not snow white, besides there's a sign that says don't touch the glass." You swatted his hand away as he cradled it, a small 'ow' coming from his lips. "Are we getting him or not?" The puppy whimpered and jumped up, the pup looked at you with eyes that told you to take him home.

"You- I-" you tried to object, but Eren was doing his angry frown, he really just looked like the puppy who too stared but you just sighed and nodded, turning to the employee who watched the whole ordeal. "we'll get the puppy."

Eren stood up, as he hugged you from behind, excited. "You better be the one taking him on walks, I'm on food duty." You told him, crossing your arms. "Absolutely! Thank you, baby." He hummed as he leaned in to kiss you, before you raised your hand to pat his cheek, both averting it from your face and earning a loud smack, "Don't do that in public." You jokingly sneered.

He followed the employee who helped you grab stuff for your new puppy. He could feel excitement running through his veins, it did not help that he was thinking of the future, you guys are gonna be like a family! 'This is gonna be great!' Eren thought.

This wasn't great at all! Eren huffed as he watched you pepper kisses on your puppy. It has been a few weeks since your adorable fur baby, Milo had come home with the two of you and at first Eren thought it was great, perfect even. He mentally groaned, how could've he been so dumb!

He watched as the dog took every ounce of your attention, not even sparing him a kiss or glance. Milo barked, licking back at your face as you laughed, "Who's my good boy? Is it you Milo, is it you??" You baby talked to the puppy as Eren further merged with the couch, his hands were crossed on his chest as he glared at the puppy in your arms.

You looked over at your pouting boyfriend, as you deadpanned. "nuh-uh, you better wipe that angry pout off your face, you wanted Milo. You've got no business getting mad at the poor pup." You scolded your boyfriend as he continued staring at Milo, who looked like he was taunting him.

You continued your lecture, Eren wasn't even paying attention at this point, too intimidated by the fur ball sitting a few feet in front of him. "Hey! Are you even listening?" You snapped your fingers in front of his face, as he snapped out of his staring contest with Milo and looked at you, before breaking into hysterics. "Reader! He's taking all of your attention away from me!" He fake sobbed.

"You're being a drama queen! Are you really trying to fight with a puppy? It's a puppy." You rolled your eyes as you picked up the little pup. "See! You don't carry me like that." Eren looked at you with his own special puppy eyes, "Eren, Milo is small. You're literally six feet tall, and your diet consists of cold pizza and a can of pepsi." You retorted.

Eren huffed once again. He caught Milo's gaze on him once again. "What're you looking at?" Eren asked, Milo barking in response. "Eren! Stop trying to pick a fight with Milo!" You stopped Eren from tormenting your lil pup. "I'm gonna jump you later, just watch." Eren dragged his thumb across his neck.

"Eren!" You slapped his shoulder. For the rest of the day, you had seen Eren look like a dejected puppy that was left on the streets. You thought nothing of it until you heard muffled talking in your guys' bedroom. "Listen here, Milo. I get that you're cute and all, but she's my girl." Eren was sitting on the bed, Milo at his feet as he pointed at Milo, who just barked. "I'm the alpha here." Eren pointed to himself smugly as he picked up Milo.

"I'll let you have your fun, okay? But at the end of the day, I'm the one who better be sleeping next to her, without you in the middle, got it?" He squinted. Milo didn't do anything but lick his face, sniffing it, puffs of the dog's breath against his cheek tickled him. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation, Milo come on." Eren tried pulling away from the dog's who only urged closer.

You laughed quietly, Eren somehow detecting your presence. "I'm trying to put him in his place, Reader. Stop encouraging him." Eren scolded you, putting Milo down as you walked towards him, sitting beside him on your shared bed. "Is that how you're gonna talk to our kids?" You hugged him from the side, your chin on his shoulder, looking up at him.

Eren digested your question before he jumped and tackled you on the bed, MIlo barking at the sudden movement. "Is that your saying that I can be your husband?" Eren's grin was big and he moved around like he was excited, meaning he was giddy. "Yes, I'm saying that I'd let you be the father to my kids." You laughed as he dived into your neck, giving you ticklish kisses.

"But! You gotta practice with Milo. He's technically our baby. It won't really cut if you're treating our kids as competition now, will it?" You teased as Eren nodded into your neck, leaning down to kiss your collarbones. You let a content sigh as you hugged Eren, pulling him closer to you.

Eren listened to your rhythmic breathing for a short while, raising his head to find you had fallen asleep. Milo had long climbed on the bed, waddling his way to you and Eren. Your boyfriend looked at him before raising his hand to pet the little pup.

"You're not so bad after all." He smiled.

#aot anime #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot imagines #aot headcanons #aot fluff #aot #aot fanfiction #eren aot #aot manga #attack on titan x you #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x y/n #eren x y/n #eren x you #snk eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren yaegar #eren x reader #attack on titan eren #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin x y/n #shingeki no kyojin x you #shingeki no kyoujin #snk fanfiction #snk headcanons #snk masterlist #snk x reader

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 9.1

…I apologize in advance.

Babysitters Club Chat

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie just left to go sparring. I need you to come to the store with me.

Wang Pangzi: SOUNDS GREAT IVE GOT PANTS ON FOR ONCE

GET IN LOSER WE’RE GOING SHOPPING

Zhang Qiling: I do not wish to shop. I wish to acquire an item.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY POSSIBLY NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU ABT WHAT SHOPPING MEANS

ALTHOUGH I KNOW FOR A FACT WANG MENG HAS U CARRY BAGS FOR HIM AT THAT NIGHT MARKET

Zhang Qiling: The specific purpose of our trip is to secure a necklace with a ring on it. I would like your input.

Wang Pangzi: OMG R U FINALLY STARTING TO ACCESSORIZE??? IVE BEEN KEEPING HELLO KITTY EARRINGS JUST FOR YOU

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wang Pangzi: OK WHAT ABT A HELLO KITTY BELLYBUTTON RING

Zhang Qiling: if you need more context, the ring in question I am getting today is for Wu Xie.

Wang Pangzi: ….

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: BACK IN A SEC

OMFG

I CANT

…ALSO THAT WASNT TECHNICALLY A NO ON THE BELLYBUTTON RING

When Will They Get A Room Chat

Wang Pangzi: THE POOL HAS ENDED

ITS FUCKING HAPPENING

WANG MENG WE R GONNA DECORATE AND GET WASTED

Li Cu: wtf????

Liu Sang: !!!!!! Ouxing didn’t say anything!!!

Wang Meng: It’s finally happening *sniffles* my Laoban is finally leaving the nest.

Well, I mean.

He’s not leaving at all, and if anything will be around more.

And be more annoying.

I’m going to be disinfecting common area surfaces more often, that’s for certain.

But getting a ring…such commitment is so adult of him, I’m going to cry.

KanJian: how romantic:):)

Xiao Bai: ugh fine it’s awesome agreed

except damnit I bet on another month:( Who won the bet??

Wang Pangzi: IT DISGUSTS ME TO ADMIT THIS

BUT I WAS OFF BY TWO MONTHS

AND HUO XIUXIU WON

Huo Xiuxiu: Damn fucking right I did.

Black Mamba Chat

Li Cu: So.

Zhang Qiling: Yes?

Li Cu: I’m giving you my permission, like, with Wu Xie.

Zhang Qiling: But why would I nee—…that is to say, thank you.

Li Cu: the only reason I’m cool with you two totally ruining my bet timing is bc, like. if u had rushed it and gotten hitched a week into dating, like I bet on, it would’ve been like a really bad communication thing. And stuff.

Zhang Qiling: You are generally alright with everything? Is there anything you need from me?

Li Cu: not really

Like I appreciate it but U do enough

I don’t worry as much about Wu Xie when ur around

Not that I worry about him

Don’t listen to KanJian on that he’s full of lies

But like

Wushanju feels…safe. with u here.

I’m not entirely used to that yet

Zhang Qiling: Perhaps you and I should speak more often?

Li Cu: ngl one text is more than I hear aloud from you in a week

But yeah. Texting more would be nice

So yeah I think that’s pretty much everything covered there

Yep

you are the only man i can think of who would never require a shovel talk

We’re good, bro

Zhang Qiling: why are shovels involved in your conversations?

Li Cu: anyway g2g to the range to deal with another romantic trashfire

I’m beginning to get why Hei Xiazi charges ppl for shit this is exhausting

Zhang Qiling: …oh.

Li Cu: ?

Zhang Qiling: I just realized Hei Xiazi is going to hear about this.

Not A Homewrecker Chat

Liu Sang: …you’re never going to change this chat name, are you.

Li Cu: lol no. Now flip your hair, KanJian is on his way over here

Liu Sang:…pardon?

Li Cu: it worked for Charlie’s angels bro

And ur basically that except for the parts where u aren’t

Damn we should get a convertible

Liu Sang: I wonder if going behind the gate is still an option.

Li Cu: ffs get it together I did not come all the way to the shooting range just to watch you both squirm in embarrassment

Liu Sang: …yes, you did.

Li Cu: well yeah I did but that’s not the point

Lol can’t believe your precious ouxing is gonna pledge his life to my nerd trashfire

Liu Sang: Like he didn’t already devote himself years ago? Ouxing and Wu Xie have been together for decades in every way that matters. At this point, with those two, it’s just semantics.

Li Cu: damn son you should give the speech at the wedding

Liu Sang: Wang Pangzi has called dibs, but I fully intend to compete with him for the spot a la rap battle.

Men in Black Chat

Hei Xiazi: of course I will plan ur ceremony, u don’t even have to ask<3

Zhang Qiling: I wasn’t planning to ask you.

Hei Xiazi: still trying to decide if ur theme music will be “My Immortal” or “One Way or Another”

Maybe a remix ooooh

I’m thinking like maybe KanJian can be the ring bearer and slingshot your rings to you from across the room

I’m sending some links with some decorative/tastefully pornographic napkin shapes, pls state ur preferences

Zhang Qiling: Please stop.

Hei Xiazi: don’t worry Xie Yuchen will pay for everything.

He doesn’t know that yet but he will:)

U got nothing to worry abt

I’ve been qualified to conduct marriage ceremonies in like 6 religions, including one I’m excommunicated from

Xiao Ge’s Gray Hair Chat

Hei Xiazi: not even that mad U didn’t show up for sparring with me today, I figure that you’re gonna be getting busy at home;)

so happy for you too, if you catch my drift:)

Lol really the silent treatment huh?

Rude

…Wu Xie?

Men in Black Chat

Hei Xiazi: uh out of sheer curiosity and zero concern, could you ask Wu Xie if he’s just not responding to texts this morning?

Zhang Qiling: …he is with you. Isn’t he?

Hei Xiazi: uh

No

No he is not

I figured he was skipping our session to be with u

Then I got like this bad feeling and thought I’d check

Sooooo uh

This probably isn’t good

Wu and Zhang Chat

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, please respond when you see this.

Wu Xie, this is an emergency. Call me right now.

I need to know you’re alri—please call me when you can.

*five missed calls, straight to voicemail*

Men in Black Chat

Zhang Qiling: He is not with me. Or with you. Or Pangzi.

Hei Xiazi: okay. Okay this is still fine. I mean everything is fine

probably

like what’s the worst that could happen right

Zhang Qiling: …..

Hei Xiazi: I saw myself typing that and was like “hoe don’t do it” but then I did it

…fuck.

I’m calling it

It’s time to get the band back together

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: CODE PINK CODE PINK I REPEAT WE HAVE A CODE PINK

Xie Yuchen: That’s my code, why are you using it?

Wang Meng: I made the alert code chart for a reason, Pangzi:(

Wang Pangzi: FUCK I MEANT PURPLE UGH

U KNOW WHAT IDGAF FUCK THE CHART

WU XIE IS GONE.

FUCKING GONE.

NOONE KNOWS WHERE.

AS IN NOT EVEN ME OR XIAOGE KNOW.

TRYING NOT TO PANIC HERE BUT UH

THIS IS WU XIE

AND HE IS THE MOTH TO DANGER’S FLAME

Li Cu: ….what.

Wu Erbai: You are certain? Of course you are. I need to make calls immediately.

Wang Pangzi: IF HE WAS OKAY HE’D FIND A WAY TO GET WORD TO ONE OF US

U KNOW HE WOULDNT JUST GO OFF WITHOUT TELLING SOMEONE

HES NOT THAT MUCH OF AN IDIOT

ANYMORE AT LEAST

HE WOULDNT SCARE US LIKE THIS

FUCK

HIS PHONE IS OFF

I THINK WE GOT A LIAM NEESON SCENARIO

Liu Sang: @ouxing, don’t worry; KanJian, Li Cu and I are on our way back now, we’ll make a plan.

Wang Meng: I was gone for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

Huo Daofu: Unsurprised. On my way.

KanJian: :(:(who would be horrible enough to steal Laoban??

Zhang Qiling: I will find him.

Li Cu: @zhangqiling okay I literally just gave u permission with him and u already misplaced him wtf dude????

Pan Zi: Just saw this. What can we do to help? And permission for what?

Zhang Qiling: Not relevant right now. And you can help us track his phone, Pan Zi.

Wu Sanxing: oh I’ll track him down alright

that copycat little shit

thinks he can just waltz off like his uncle

Amateur pfff

Wang Pangzi: GET HELPFUL OR GET LOST

Wu Erbai: I agree with Pangzi that it’s very likely Wu Xie was taken. Li Cu, stay with Kan Jian and Liu Sang until our full group rendezvous at Wushanju—this could be an attack on the family line.

Wu Sanxing: whoa so I could be a target too?

Wu Erbai: No one would voluntarily take you. Stop clogging up the chat.

Xie Yuchen: I will assist Wu Erbai in alerting the rest of the families. Huo Xiuxiu is already assembling some people.

I can assure you, whoever took him will only live long enough to regret it.

Hei Xiazi: oooh love that spice from u, sugar

Also I’m already on the move n shit, tracing backwards from where we were supposed to meet today

Wang Pangzi: CHECK ZHANG RISHAN

HE DID IT LAST TIME

THE MEGA-BOOMER ASSHAT

LETS STORM THE TEA HOUSE

Zhang Rishan: …you are aware I am on this chat, yes? It was not I.

Wang Meng: It had better not have been:) or I will shove a saucepan so far up your ass—

Hei Xiazi: listen I’m all for turning crisis centers into kinky dungeons but like for now let’s focus here bud

Babysitters Club Chat

Zhang Qiling: I will find him.

Wang Pangzi: I KNOW. DONT TAKE LI CU SERIOUSLY KIDDO IS JUST SCARED AND U KNOW HE SNAPS WHEN HES SCARED

Zhang Qiling: I am…somewhat lost in circling thoughts right now. About not finding him.

Wang Pangzi: I KNEW U WOULD BE

GET OFF THE ROOF

ACHILLES COME THE FUCK DOWN

HEY

HEY YOU

I KNOW U WILL FIND HIM. U KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE U ALWAYS DO.

THERE ARE ONLY A FEW THINGS I KNOW FOR SURE IN MY LIFE: I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE BEST HAIR IN THE TRIANGLE, WU XIE WILL ALWAYS GET INTO THE MOST BIZARRE SITUATIONS ON A REGULAR BASIS, AND YOU WILL ALWAYS SAVE HIM.

AS MUCH AS TIANZHEN IS THE MOTH TO DANGERS FLAME, NOTHING BURNS AS BRIGHTLY AS THE TWO OF YOU DO FOR EACH OTHER

GODDAMN I GET POETIC AT THE WORST MOMENTS

Zhang Qiling: I am heading out with Hei Xiazi in a moment. I will return with Wu Xie.

Wang Pangzi: GO GET HIM, TIGER. LOVE YOU BOTH

Unnamed chat:

[blocked number]: SOS

…is anyone getting this?

#whomst #dmbj #wu xie #the lost tomb #ultimate note #pingxie #zhang qiling #iron triangle #dmemebj

[eldritch-muppetshow]

have some more abt my pikmin aus bc i like posting abt them

the louiemin au

in this au, louie’s terrible first impression on the koppaites is because he thought they were stealing and controlling his pikmin (and vice versa). he doesn’t go after their juice supply at first because he knows how to find/hunt food for himself.. but he does occasionally try sneaking some during the brief time he was aboard the s.s. drake (much to the koppaites’ annoyance, especially brittanny).

the reason for why he has a glowcap for a stem instead of the usual flower displayed by most pikmin is currently unknown. olimar’s currently looking into it.

after several months of hunting for food without cooking it (since he quickly learned that it was more convenient and the smell of food cooking would attract hungry wildlife anyway), louie went through a period where he genuinely forgot how to cook. he eventually recovered and gets super embarrassed if anyone brings it up.

louie mostly kept his mind, but he talks even less now and generally doesn’t speak more than a few short sentences at a time unless someone pushes him.

olimar still blames himself for louie’s death because even if he didn’t permanently die, he still has to live on a hostile alien planet with no real chance of coming home. people who knew him on hocotate think he’s dead (and well, they’re not wrong).

olimar and the koppaites definitely want to study louie more because hey, the guy definitely stands out as an anomaly out of everything they’ve documented (although actually publishing these studies is a different story). louie (understandably) was not receptive to the idea until he was bribed with juice.

untitled pikmin 3 au

i’m naming character d “del” for this, since i personally don’t believe he built the ss drake.

initially, the 3 captains don’t get along at all. there’s still some tension between olimar and louie from the events of pikmin 2, olimar is seriously questioning why del was chosen for this mission if he’s this unequipped for the wildlife, del’s super creeped out by louie’s tendency to try and cook everything he sees, and louie just finds del’s panicking at the wildlife super annoying. they eventually bond because it turns out that they have more in common with each other than they first thought (and because they really don’t have a choice).

finding and fixing the three koppads eventually reveals to our protagonists that the koppaites had high hopes for this mission even if they didn’t get along very well, only for things to quickly go downhill when charlie had an argument with brittany and went off with his pikmin to do things his way.. and never came back. brittany initially assumed charlie did something dumb/petty, but quickly starts worrying when it becomes clear that he’s actually missing.

meanwhile, alph was freaked out by the captain’s disappearance from the very start, and this leads to things getting pretty tense between him and brittany before she agrees that yes, something was definitely wrong. they work together to collect fruit while also trying to find charlie, but it quickly becomes clear that something’s picking off their pikmin while they’re not looking.

a few days pass of searching with no luck, and alph and brittany agree that they absolutely have to stick together. unfortunately, something requires them to split up one day, and alph’s worst fears come true when brittany’s squad of pikmin come back to their onions that night without her.

after that point, alph’s frantically trying to collect fruit and search for his crewmates at the same time, but it quickly proves to be an exhausting task. he passes out from exhaustion eventually, and that’s when the plasm wraith snatches him to join his crewmates.

when they were captive, the koppaites (ironically) bonded and got to know each other better in a “misery loves company” situation.

on a lighter note, del’s notes can best be described as “the pikmin version of what happens when you ask blathers to tell you about a bug in animal crossing” (although he’s a lot calmer about completely harmless enemies and plant life).

#pikmin au #pikmin #pikmin 3 spoilers #character death tw #food mention #louiemin au #pikmin 3 au #ask to tag

[newtonsheffield]

Hey I love your work and am such a fan! I was wondering if we could get some headcanons or drabbles of when Benedict used to interrupt Kanthonys Saturdays and how Sophie later fit into that? Maybe even some abt them being a happy family.

Hi! 🙋🏻‍♀️ Thanks so much for reading these little snippets!

I am going to remain uncharacteristically tight lipped on the first section of this ask because some of this is coming up in this week’s Update (!!!) that’s right! This week we’re diving into Ben and Sophie with a chapter that’s half Sophie, and Half Anthony (oooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhh) God, sorry about me.

Anyway here are some Ben and Sophie headcanons

When she’d first started dating Benedict, Sophie had been very apprehensive of the Bridgertons. Violet had immediately tried to pull her into all sorts of family activities and Benedict had looked so earnest when he’d said Please Soph, I really want my family to get to know you. But she’d been a coward and begged off. Eventually Sophie had been visited at work one day by Benedict’s sister-in-law, Kate. Sophie had been called to the front of house at the restaurant and seen Kate standing there with Lucy Abernathy, both of them dressed so nicely, looking so confidant and put together. Kate’s sister was a model Ben worked with, she knew this, and Kate was gorgeous in her own right and she exuded an air of quiet authority. She’d heard of Lucy as well who had more money than she knew what to do with but who worked and worked so she felt useful. Sophie shifted uncomfortably. Kate looked up grinning when she saw Sophie approaching saying There you are! Now I know you don’t get long for lunch but Lucy and I are going out and we’re not taking no for an answer! Sophie hadn’t even known what to say as she let herself be pulled from the restaurant. When Benedict had arrived at hers later that night she’d said, quietly I switched my shift, I’d like to come to your Mum’s for dinner after all. If you still want me to go that is.

Ben knew how uncomfortable Sophie was with how much money he had. He saw it in her eyes every time he paid for dinner, or bought her gifts so when he decided he wanted her to move in with him he had no idea how she’d react. She was sitting on his couch reading a book quietly and he’d said, quietly, Sophie? Can I talk to you? Her eyes had shot up to his, concern on her face. Of course, Ben. She’d said her voice small I’ve been thinking a lot and I think that we should- She cut him off It’s fine Ben. I get it. This was... a little too good to be true anyway. Benedict’s eyebrows had shot upwards as she’d stood up, and left a kiss on his forehead. So you don’t want to live together? Benedict had said, his voice confused. Sophie had frozen, turning back to him. You don’t want to break up? Sophie had moved into his house the next day.

Benedict had decided in his infinite wisdom, that he was going to make a cake for Sophie’s birthday, with their infant son. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, as a chef Sophie was always cooking for other people, no one ever cooked for her, and together, he and Charles were going to do it. He gotten up early, sneaking out of bed, without waking his wife, padding downstairs with his two year old son. By the time Sophie woke up an hour later, flour and sugar covered every surface of the, usually immaculate, kitchen Charlie was sitting on the counter his arms covered in icing up to his elbows, Benedict had batter caked into his hair and was icing a very misshapen cake. What’s all this? Sophie smirked as she walked into the kitchen. Ben spun around at the sound of her voice, icing falling onto the floor. Happy Birthday? Benedict said awkwardly as Charlie let out a Hi Mummy! Holding his hands out towards her. Sophie laughed and scooped her son up, his icing covered hands going to rest in her hair. We were trying to bake a cake? Benedict said awkwardly, I can see that, and you did such a good job. She cooed at Charlie Benedict rolled his eyes as Sophie laughed again leaning up to kiss her husband on the cheek. Sorry about the mess my sous chef made, I’ll clean it up later. He whispered in her ear. Sophie grinned back at him and leaned back towards Him. Even though you made such a mess this morning, I’m still going to tell you a secret. We’re having another sous chef for you to make a mess with.

#bridgerton and sons au #Benedict x Sophie #benedict bridgerton #sophie beckett #shameless fluff #Molly’s headcanons #molly's asks and aswers #enchanted is coming this week

[that-sarcastic-optimist]

WeDoNtTaLkAnYmoRe *insert Charlie puth voice* gurl where u att

Also Percabeth headcannons pls ❤

Lol, hey, Princess

Sry abt the not talking thing, examsssssss are taking up my tyyyyme *sobs uncontrollably*

Tty soon! Anyway, here are the Percabeth headcannons you asked for:-

Theory that Percy loves his mom's blue food, (that's not even a theory, actually, it's a fact, all those Riordanverse fans know where I'm going with this)

Anyway, Percy is in love with blue food, but he can't really cook or make it himself

Hey, Annabeth

What, Percy?

Whatcha reading?

A book, Percy

Which one?

The Art Of War. Frank lended it to me

Sounds dull. Anyway, I wanna ask you something

No

I haven't even asked you anything yet!

No

Stop that. Annabeth, can you make blue cookies?

Considering all the times I've made them for you, yes

No, like, can you make them right now?

No

WHY?

Because I'm reading, Percy!

But I'm HUNGRY! Isn't that more important than a stupid book?!

No

ANNABETH!

Why don't you learn to make them yourself, Percy?

I tried!

And?

Mom banned me from the kitchen

What did you do?

I'm pretty sure I used eggs

That's good, you're supposed to use eggs

No, I mean I used only eggs. I forgot the flour and cocoa and all that

........

And I don't know how, but somehow Estelle's hat ended up in the oven

.....what?

Yeah, I opened the oven two minutes after putting the cookies in--

You opened the oven TWO MINUTES after putting the cookies in?!

I was hungry. Yeah, so anyway, when I opened it, this blue hat was in the oven. Half of it was black and burnt to a crisp, but looked ok, so I tried something with it

....What did you try?

I bit it

You.....what?

I bit it. It looked melted--

*faintly* Hats can't melt

I know. Now. Anyway, so it kind of looked like a cookie, so I considered the possibility that it was a burnt cookie simply looking like a hat.

......And?

Long story short, I might've needed a trip to the emergency room and I'm pretty sure I have a hat inside me

........

Don't worry, Annabeth, I'm not gonna die!

I know that! The hat will pass through your system--oh my God, I can't believe I'm actually saying those words--

Annabeth, no science talk! Can you make blue cookies or not?

NO! And, this time, I'M forbidding you from going into the kitchen. We have to go somewhere now

Where?

To Will and Nico's. Maybe Will can get the hat out of you and maybe find a cure for stupidity

*half an hour later*

I'm pretty sure the hat's still inside me

That was my favourite hat

I'm sorry, Estelle, I'll buy you a new one. Maybe I should knit one for you. OOH THAT'S A GOOD IDEA

No, Percy, please do not knit a hat for me. Or a sweater. Or socks. Just don't touch any needles. Or anything sharp, for that matter

Maybe I should make more cookies, then

...

Annabeth, there's something wrong with your boyfriend

There's something wrong with your brother

*prances into the kitchen* BLUE COOKIES BLUE COOKIES FOR EVERYONE

Annabeth

Yeah, Estelle?

Please get him out of the kitchen

Hope this was fine! @they-ca-llme-princess, please dm if you want anything else

#percy pjo #funny memes #funny+posts #tumblr memes #percabeth #estelle pjo #annabeth chase #sally jackson #memesdaily #pjo memes