#i HATE having to do things like collecting items that get all reset if you fail

[olomaya]

Student Council (Afterschool Activities+)

18 August: This mod has been updated. Please refer to this post for more information before downloading.

12 March: Updated: Thanks to the people that let me know about the missing strings in non-English languages. It's been fixed and you can redownload the MAIN file. I also adjusted the skilling for the student council roles because sometimes it wouldn't stop after Student Council meetings so I fixed that.

7 March Update: PLEASE REDOWNLOAD Hi! Please re-download the "olomaya_StudentCouncil_MAIN" file if you downloaded it already. There was an issue with the milestone tracker so it will reset your Sim whenever you try to canvas for donations. If you have the other files, no need to redownload them, just the "MAIN" one.

I just played TS4 High School Years. The items are really cute but there's about 6 hours of gameplay in the whole pack, lol. But it got me thinking about how I wish we had more child and teen-specific stuff to do in TS3. Like Afterschool Activities which could have been more…active. So I started making a few active afterschool activities for teens. This is the first I'm releasing.

With this mod, your teen can join the Student Council where they can then take on different activities. They can run for office in the council and support school issues to try and make their school a better place. There are 8 different student issues your Sims can try to address, like buying new textbooks or running an anti-bullying campaign. Each one will require your Sim to get a certain number of signatures and raise X amount of funds. If you don’t do so by the deadline all the students will hate you (not really but also, yes). If you are successful, then all the students will get some kind of reward related to the campaign and it will increase your popularity. You can learn about student issues and the like through the Bulletin Board object.

There are 3 different Student Council elected positions you can run for which also have extra perks and each have their own unique interactions they can do as well so they are a bit more personality-based to the role.  There's more details in the documentation.

Download here

Credits/Thanks: @bioniczombie for the TS4 HSY Bulletin board object conversion and all their wonderful conversions. Battery TS3 Script Template Creator for making modding easier. 

You'll need NRaas Careers in order to load custom afterschool activities and of course, the Generations EP. Let me know if you run into any issues!

Future Updates/Additions: I do want to create some activities for council members to organize, like a beach clean up or school charity events. So that would be the plan for a V2. Also maybe doing a proper animation for the collect signatures interaction. I know TS4 has one, I couldn't get it to load through a social xml. It's a whole thing but yes, I'm aware Sign Autograph is not the ideal animation.

#sims3cc #s3cc download #s3cc #afterschoolactivities #sims 3 mods

[theot3rulesofhyrule]

Having not played for quite a while now- though having played a LOT after launch... I find that My feelings on Tears of the Kingdom lead more towards dissatisfaction than anything else.

No hate to those who love it and enjoy every aspect!!



Don't get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE the original story that has been spun. I think it's intriguing and engaging and more. It's honestly the only reason I kept on playing after my first whole impression was done.

I also like the creativity and many elements of the game. The Depths, for one, have some of my favorite decorative plant life, and the designs of the Stewards I find to be very adorable and wonderful.

I am ALSO aware that the tales in and around The Legend of Zelda as a whole are TRAGIC. It's completely normal for the tone to be so sad and downright dismal at times.

But the game as a whole unit? I just.. so much of it is 'off' and just downright unpleasant for me. For one- one of my least favorite and biggest gripes is why oh WHY are those stones called SECRET stones?! That is one of the WORST possible things they could have been named/translated to. It warps the tone IMMENSELY especially as they're really not all that secret AT ALL. SACRED stones would have been divine and kept the tone much better... or something else. Secret stones is just... that's a "no" from me. Kills the mood every single time.

I don't know if the whole story of the Zonai is explained or revealed in further gameplay- but if it's not and that it's hinted at only a few times and never discussed... it's an extremely frustrating detail. There's always going to be mysteries, but this one had far too many chances to be explained and just wasn't (if it's not, of course... I don't rightly know- I stopped playing).

And then we get into actual gameplay....

I know now that it was a HUGE mistake to play Breath of the Wild right before diving into Tears of the Kingdom. My biggest mistake, in fact. I honestly didn't know how much I absolutely loved that game until faced with something so entirely different, but meant to be a part of it. And the controls... I was so used to my toggles being what they were that the change in TotK I still wasn't used to after over 105 hours of gameplay. I still messed up almost every time I needed to do something.

The menus too are just... there was no rhyme or reason to completely redesign them. Breath of the Wild had some amazing features and I feel the item screens was one of the that should have absolutely stayed. But instead they had a team completely and utterly revamp them. Very unpleasant and clunky to use.

There's also just... SO MUCH to do/keep track of. It honestly feels overwhelming in ways Breath of the Wild never was for me. There's so many quests, sure... but it just doesn't feel like you can take your time at all (or, if you do, like you're WASTING time)- and I HATE the quests that need you to do or be somewhere at a certain time of day... oof. So many shrines I just ignored because no thank you... AND all that stuff you can do? WAY harder. It is so challenging to do not only the shrines, but even basic side missions and quests. I seriously struggle with the poor Koroks because you really have to get it juuuuust right in so many ways. And if you mess up... welp. Be ready to just abandon it until the reset. (Accidently launching a Korok into the ocean when they needed to be up on a cliffside? ... That was some major frustration after the laughed 'oops.' for me T^T)

If it was a few hard challenges and/or tasks here and there I wouldn't be complaining, but the whole game is like that for me. Challenges after challenges after challenges to the point it killed my fun. Don't even get me started on how hard it is to build up Rupees (and I'm an AVID collector of items. The prices and difficulties there collecting enough with those SUCK).

All in all.. I was happy to see the progression of old characters, new faces, and the progression of the world as a whole... and yet they also did me SO dirty.... and Removed Kass- my all time favorite Rito- from the game entirely. Barely a whisper left of his existence. His challenges weren't always the most fun for me in BotW... but I was so happy to do them because I knew I got to see Kass again, progress his story, and I looked forward to the struggles I faced for such a well-written character.

I think I don't like this game because it's meant to be a challenge more than it's meant to really tell a whole, and wonderful (if tragic) story like Breath of the Wild was... and that makes me really sad. I haven't found much of it to be worthwhile enough to keep fighting through more of the game... and that's extra sad.

(also... controversial opinion- I don't like Ganondorf in this one. Something I haven't been able to put my finger on just feels wrong about the whole thing.)

#legend of zelda #loz #the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk #loz totk #controversial opinion #text post #long post

[lesless]

My friend felt overwhelmed by getting things cleaned up so here’s some tips for cleaning & organization for people who are not organized:

Do the biggest job first, you’ll feel accomplished & all the rest will feel easier after that.

Take a break & have a snack. Time it so you don’t get stuck when you stop.

If you have an overwhelming mess, start by breaking the problem into small piles. Then, you can tackle each of the piles more easily. Piles are categories: clean laundry, dirty laundry, trash, papers, electronics, etc.

If the entire home feels like a wreck, start in the bedroom, then do the kitchen. It’s important to have a place to rest & fuel to get things done.

Work top down. After handling piles, I always dust, clean mirrors, wipe surfaces, then handle the floors. This will prevent you from having to redo work!

Keep a “get rid of” bag somewhere out of the way. I have a bag behind my bedroom door which typically stays open, when you come across something that is ill-fitting, not your style, or simply unwanted & in the way, toss it in the bag. This prevents unwanted items from recirculating with minimal effort. Drop it off to donate when it’s full.

Everything should have a home. It’s a lot easier to tidy when you know where things live. If I use it regularly, it’s on the counter or in a top shelf, easy to access & put away. Items used less often can be stored in cabinets or harder to access drawers.

Always go through your closet when you have a lot of laundry to do. Anything in need of wash is something you wear! Then you can evaluate the hanging items with less work.

Bins are your friend, but use with caution! If you’re not the kind of person who wants to fold underwear or socks, or neatly line up stuffed animals, a bin is a great solution. Bins are not great solutions for things like electronics or paperwork, that’s where it gets dangerous. A poorly implemented bin is just a future problem waiting to happen.

Keep things off the floor. Stuff on the floor just makes it harder to clean & tends to be overlooked more easily. Plus, tripping hazard.

If you have trouble staying on top of laundry, get a bin with a lid. When the lid doesn’t close it’s time to do laundry. Also, you can put clothes away while watching a show, makes it less painful.

Make it easy on yourself! You don’t need to suffer through cleaning if you don’t have to. If you’re short get a duster with a long handle, if your sinks & tubs are a pain to clean spring for a magic eraser, if you have a surface that’s textured & a pain to wipe down regularly slap some laminated contact paper on that bitch, if you have knickknacks that get dusty & make you want to avoid cleaning them you can put them in a shadow box (I got mine from goodwill for $7 so I could display my lightbulb collection without going mad). I don’t like touching wet food on dishes, so I got a scrubber with a long handle. Think of what you hate cleaning & ways to make that easier.

If you can, reset even a little before bed. It feels good to wake up to dishes in the sink instead of spread around the house if I was too tired to wash them the night before. I’m more inclined to wash them if they’re already gathered vs making it a two step process.

Dedicate a weekday to tidy. I usually don’t want to tidy on the weekend, so I do a general clean (throw in laundry, dust, sweep, flip laundry, mop/vacuum, put away laundry) on Thursdays.

Be nice to yourself! A lot of friends who are dealing with a mess are unnecessarily mean to themselves about it. The mantra is, “a little is better than none at all” you got this!

Hope this helps!!

#me

[icameisawifished]

Custom Legacy Challenge Rules

For a couple of years I've felt like the rules to the usual legacy challenge are restrictive, sometimes unfair, and increasingly impossible with the addition of more and more packs.

So I created a more simple rule system that can be checked off generation by generation, and doesn't punish you for having a non-traditional family. For me, this is a way of opening up storytelling options, and not bothering with stuff like hoarding potions and the traits of spouses.

Rules below the cut.

Setup:

Make a Young Adult founder.

Randomise their traits, likes and dislikes. You may “roll” again if you get a combination that doesn’t make sense or feel interesting, and freely edit likes and dislikes that don’t make sense (ie joke star aspiration, dislikes comedy).

spin for their aspiration (I like James Turner’s random trait generator for this https://jamesturner.yt/randomtraits)

Name them & choose their appearance

Move into a furnished starter lot, add a lot challenge and remove all money

Roll 1d6 to determine how many children they will have

There’s no “heir selection” system- just use whatever kid you want to carry on the story when they’re ready.

Rules after setup:

You may move house as frequently as you can afford to, and can live in any world.

Your founder and subsequent heirs must always be part of the original household (to maintain collection progress even if objects are lost)

Roll 1d6 at the start of each generation to determine how many children will be in the generation. You can have more, but not less. If you want to up the difficulty for a generation, roll a d8 or d10

Randomise all aspirations and traits for every sim born into the family.

Randomise likes and dislikes at childhood.

Optional: Roll for gender on every birthday, as soon as the sim becomes a Toddler. A 1 or a 20 makes a sim trans. a trans sim continues to roll for their gender on their birthday, but now a 1 or a 20 makes them switch up their presentation a little. You choose how much. You may want to use the cheat “cas.fulleditmode on” to modify sims younger than teen’s genders.

You could do something similar for sexuality, if you’re interested in that!

You should keep a memento of major life events (Marriage, birth of a child, a death in the family, graduation, etc.). A photo, or a collectible, or anything that could be used as a memory trigger. Use these as decoration or keep them somewhere safe. Keep these through all generations. If you have Growing Together, the automatic mementos count (ie. Marriage certificates and First Handprints) but don’t feel the need to keep lost teeth stuff unless you want to.

When sims in your household die, put their gravestone in a graveyard community lot in a neighbourhood chosen by your founder OR keep them with the family. (In a graveyard, they can remain ghosts without constantly breaking your appliances and plumbing)

You may extend your sims’ lives as long as you want using potions of youth etc. You’ll get bored eventually, and each generation can only earn 10 points except in collectibles

If you do not have a partner (romantic or platonic), you must complete all of your children’s childhood aspirations, and have a child max a part time job or after school activity instead for the partner goals.

If any of your children moves out of your household they must either move into another household, or take starting funds (20,000 simoleons) with them. If there is a divorce or breakup between the current head of family and their partner, the leaving party should take half the current cash from the family.

Try to keep at least one of each collectible you find. If you must sell them for cash due to desperation, try to find them again later in the game.

You may not cheat for money, skills, or motives, but may use cheats to reset sims, fix bugs, access items or decorate, or to do things like remove a NAP you hate.

Similarly, use whatever mods you want

“I’m not sure if x skill or career or aspiration counts” - anything counts unless you feel like you cheated. this is for fun. if you feel guilty that’s not fun. if you did something boring it’s less fun. keep it interesting for yourself and if that means only finishing a freelance career and doing a bust the dust aspiration thats what it means.

Scoring:

Each generation’s family leader can earn as many as 10 points for the following -

Complete a career

Complete an aspiration

Have [1d6] children

Max a hobby skill with 10 levels (ie. not a skill required for your career or aspiration)

Get married

Go on a holiday for at least 3 days

Pay all your bills on time

Retire at least 3 days before dying of old age

Have your partner complete their Aspiration

Have your partner max their career

One additional point is earned for each finished collection, making the possible score over 130. A success is a score of 100

I haven't made an official scoring document for this - i'm using to do lists in Notion to keep track of my own, which are difficult to export. You could just print 10 copies of the scoring list and tick them off if you wanted. or something like that.

#ts4 challenge #ts4 #sims 4 legacy challenge #sims legacy challenge #ts4 legacy challenge

[ganondoodle]

oh boi i cant wait to play skyward sword again !!!

*remembers the silent realms*

#ganondoodles talks #skyward sword #tloz #loz #memes #way to ruin my fun game #i got the speedrun strats for the imprisoned fights #but the silent realms UHG #it has everything i hate #taking away your weapons CHECK #timelimit CHECK #goes from chill to horrifying within a spilt second CHECK #has stuff you need to collect that gets reset if you fail at any point CHECK #that last one especially #i HATE having to do things like collecting items that get all reset if you fail #fgjlkfgnjbdlngldjgndbjngblsfjbgdkgfrud

[germvity]

RISES THE MOON

leon s kennedy x reader // 8 // two-way mirrors

"ah..!" he sighs, letting you off as you swallow. "good boy. you feel okay?" you ask softly, fingers tracing lines on his outer thighs. leon nods, drowsy from his intense peak. "good, this trial will probably last for a little while longer and i wanna see how many times i can make you cum." you grin as leon whimpers.

tags: protective!reader in this one, david being a bully 3.0, fighting (physical and verbal), leon being a sub part 2, smooches, he's a simp for you pls

warnings: fighting (physical and verbal), mild smut, hurt/comfort

sorry this chapters late i was writing a lot theres like-- 7 drafts in here 😭 enjoy!

---

you wake up with leon curled around you. memories of yesterday came back to you, and you can't help but smile. leon was truly smitten with you after it, clinging to you like butter on bread. "leon~.." your voice is soft as you comb your fingers through his hair. the blonde mumbles slightly, nuzzling your collarbone as he exhales slowly. "come on, wake up for me. trials will start soon." you purr, gently tapping his cheek. "mmn. y/n?" leon yawns, tightening his hold on you. "be a good boy and wake up for me." you tease, watching leon's ears turn red as he whines. "stop..."

you giggle, kissing his head softly as he stretches. "sleep well?" you grin, letting him kiss you before nodding. "i haven't slept like that in years." he jokes, his nose kissing your neck as he cuddles into you. "i'm not surprised that you slept so well, you went for about 4 rounds." you tease as he makes a small embarrassed noise. "what? you don't like being my good boy?" you tease, and he shoves your shoulder slightly. "shut up.." leon pouts, and you chuckle, kissing him sweetly.

melting into your lips, leon hums into your mouth as he tilts his head for you. "good boy." you smile when you pull away, admiring his soft blush and slightly parted lips. "knock it off-.." he huffs, sitting up and shuddering when your fingernails traced soft lines over the hickeys on his back. "you did so well for me." you breathe, and leon hums softly, back arching into your touch. leaning forward, you kiss one of the hickey's softly, making him jump. "sorry, you're too tempting." you smile, kissing his shoulder.

leon's back is to you, but you can just tell how flustered he is at your attention. "aww, is my baby embarrassed?" you tease, and leon groans slightly as you press down on one of the hickeys. "please-.." he mumbles, but you tut. "not now, we have to get ready for trials." you smile, kissing his neck softly. "you're so mean." he fauns hurt as he leans back onto you, placing his forearm over his eyes dramatically. "oh hush, you might get a treat tonight." you grin, kissing his jaw.

leon seems satisfied with your answer, getting up to get dressed. a bell tomes, signalling that trials will be beginning shortly, so you join leon in getting ready. "need anything?" you ask, rummaging through your items. "no, i'll be alright." leon smiles, grabbing your hand to get your attention. "for good luck?" he asks, and you catch on immediately. smiling, you give leon a soft kiss as black fog rolls in to collect you both.

unluckily, the two of you start separated. in fact, all of the survivors were separated. cursing, you step over to a generator, starting it up carefully. a yell catches your attention, and you stand slightly, turning to look over your shoulder for the source of the noise. silence. sighing, you turn back to your generator, connecting the wires carefully. nea finds you, giving you a small smile as she crouches next to you. "y/n, long time no see." she teases, and you glance at her with a polite smile. "yeah... how is everything?" you ask, not really that interested in knowing about the survivor camp. "eh, same old. david's still a tyrant." she sighs, falling silent before murmuring a small. "and i miss you."

you sigh at her confession, not knowing how to respond as your dull eyes stare at the belly of the generator. "will you ever come back if we manage to knock david off his pedestal?" she asks, trying not to seem hopeful. "i can't... i'm sorry." you sigh, falling silent once more. "oh.." she mumbles, and it was clear she still had feelings for you. "i just... really miss you." nea breathes out, and you nod. "i know... i just... me and.." you take a breath and turn to nea. "i'm seeing leon.." you whisper to her, and she seems so hurt. "what?" her hands are trembling and you're nervous she'll fuck up the generator.

"i'm sorry... he just.. cares for me, a lot." you sigh, looking back to your hands. "and i don't?!" the rebel yells, standing from the generator. "shh..! i'm sorry! it's just... we weren't official, nea." you huff, standing to soothe her. sniffling, nea storms away, and you sigh. "nea wait..!" you want to go after her when another yell comes from around the corner. furrowing your brows, you decide to leave your gen, not caring that ruin was currently eating away at it's progress. upon following the source, you see david standing over leon, a foot on his throat and a bloodied stick in his hand. "leon!" you yelp, charging david off of him. "you fucking whores! i hate you both!" david snaps as you struggle to get the heavy stick from his grasp. "you ruined everything!" the fighter growls, pushing you away to try and hit you.

quickly, you evade his swing and snap a sharp piece of metal off of a nearby hook. "david, please." you try to reason, arming yourself and not caring if it cut your hand. "y/n..!" leon rasps, trying to get to you. "stay there, leon." you demand, keeping david's focus on you. "you fucker, i swear. all you had to do was not say no-!" he swings, and on instinct, your sharp metal finds his throat. spluttering, david drops his weapon and grabs the metal, falling to his knees. you gasp, ignoring the way his blood had splattered onto your face as david collapses. the fighter gurgles, and you glance at leon, seeing his broken form. grabbing the stick, anger fuels you as you bludgeon david brutally.

gasping at the small whimpers, your attention shifts to leon, his hazy eyes are fluttering closed as he looks away from you. "leon!" you scramble to his side, cradling him in your arms. an ugly bruise blooms on his throat as he coughs sharply, blood seeping down his face. "y/n..?" he mumbles, clutching you tightly. "hey, it's okay, you're okay! tell me what happened, baby." you smile, ignoring your shaky hands as you hold his hand tightly.

"i was working on opening a chest, and he just-..." leon pauses to cough again, and you hush him softly, rocking him carefully. "he hit me, and tried to choke me and-." leon can't finish as his eyelids flutter. "hey, hey..! open your eyes for me, it's okay..!" you breathe out, your tears dripping onto his face and mixing with his blood. "it hurts.." he admits, managing to keep his eyes open for you. "i know baby, i know." you sigh, looking around for nea. the rebel stood nearby, clearly terrified of the situation, but she clutched a med kit tightly.

"nea, please help him!" you beg, and she sighs softly. moving over to you, nea crouches and unzips the med kit. "i can't stay mad at you... i'm no monster." she smiles, pressing some antiseptic onto his gash. leon whimpers, and you hush him, easing your rocking so nea could heal him. the antiseptic gives him a bit of oomph to sit up slightly, letting nea bandage the gash on his forearm where he had defended himself. "you poor thing.." you gush through tears, gently stroking his face with your hand. nea's hands freeze at your words, but she keeps going despite her own feelings. "thank you so much nea.. i owe you big time." you sigh as she presses a small needle full of red liquid into his arm. "yeah, you do." she smiles despite her watery eyes.

"i'm sorry that we didn't work, but despite us being separate.. can we still be friends?" you ask softly, and nea nods. "of course." she smiles, wiping her tears away as she hugs you tightly. "thank you.." you smile, hugging her back despite leon being squished between the two of you. heartbeats pick up as the killer approaches, and nea pulls away. "shit.." you mumble, grabbing leon's hands. "can you stand..?" you ask softly, and the officer nods slightly. "i think so.." he says, still holding you tightly as you help him stand. "come on, we gotta go." you usher leon away from the scene, but ghostface cuts you off.

"jesus christ, what happened here?" he laughs, voice modulator crackling. "leon, stay behind me." you mumble, stepping in front of the blonde protectively. "damn, relax cutie. i'm in a good mood today so i'll give you time to run." the killer is masked, but you could tell he was smiling. quickly, you push leon the other way, staying behind him as he runs. footsteps gain on you, and you grunt as the ghostface's knife slashes against your back. you split up from leon, vaulting the killer shack's window adeptly. "fuck, i hate this place." the killer grumbles, climbing through the window clumsily. "good! get used to it!" you snap, darting out the door.

you keep him there for two gens, and he huffs, leaving agitated as the third one pops. you sigh, resetting the shack pallet carefully before heading off in the other direction. "y/n!" leon calls, and you turn to see him ushering you over. "leon, are you alright?" you ask, jogging over as you cup his face with your hands to inspect him. "i'm feeling better yeah, those syringes are good shit." he chuckles, and you smile, giving him a soft kiss. "i'm glad you're feeling better." you say, grabbing his hand to lead him to another generator. "come on, let's try and get out of here." you say, crouching before the generator.

"i saw you looping ghostface.." leon trails off, and you glance at him. "it was hot." your blonde grins, and you laugh slightly. "thanks, maybe i can teach you a thing or two." you chuckle, grinding on the generator as nea pops danny's ruin. "let's go!" you smile, letting go of the gen to kiss leon lovingly. he gasps, letting go of the generator too. "y/n..!" he whines, grabbing the wires once more. "sorry, but letting go of a gen every now and then feels good." you smile, brushing his hair out of his face.

finishing the generators was easy as nea now keeps the aggravated killer on her tail, and you lead leon to the gates. luckily, your spine chill managed to carry you in small bursts to 99 the gate, and the two of you wait for nea to find you both. "so.. while we wait-..." you tease, pulling leon's jacket to kiss him. "open the fucking gate!" nea calls, and you look over to see her hauling ass towards the two of you. "got it!" leon calls, opening it quickly and pushing the two of you to safety.

the three of you cheer as danny storms off, angry at his loss. "take that you tosser!" you yell through the thorns as leon pulls you into him for a kiss. "gross..!" nea fake gags, and you roll your eyes. "hey, before we split... are we good?" you ask, and nea nods. "as long as we can kick ass in trials, we're good." she smiles, hugging you once more before waving and heading off to the survivor camp. leon seems confused, going to ask you what was going on but you cut him off. "come on, let's go relax before any more trials." you smile, pulling him along to your shack.

#resident evil #dbd leon #dbd resident evil #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #sorry this took a while #germvity writing

[brywrites]

Flight Risk VII

Summary: An answer to the age old CM question, “who’s flying the plane?” And the story of a pilot and a profiler. Part V: In which there are some distances that must be maintained and others that are simply begging to be crossed.

(Series Masterlist) ( Previous |  Next )

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Something is off. She can tell by the way Spencer sits alone, looking so focused on a book that it’s clear he’s not actually paying attention to it. He’s trying to give the impression he’s busy. He doesn’t want to be bothered. There is a tension he carries, and she notices that JJ carries it too. They wait on opposite ends of the hangar. When it’s time to board, she peeks out from the cockpit and notices they’re sitting on opposite ends of the plane. JJ is curled up in a blanket, staring blankly out the window. Spencer stares down at the book he’s clearly not reading.

Y/N wishes she could lighten the burden the same way a plane suddenly seems weightless at the moment of liftoff. This large thing speeding down a runway is propelled into the air and lift and thrust make physics feel like magic. There’s a strong bout of turbulence over the Great Plains, and she and Arthur have to focus on keeping Geff as steady as possible. In a smaller jet like this, an air pocket can feel so much rougher than it would on a commercial liner. One they navigate through it, it’s smooth sailing. The sun is setting behind them as they travel through time zones back to the east coast. The sky around them turns from orange to pink to violet. The stars begin to appear, blinking their salutations.

As they get closer to the airfield, she calls out over the radio. “This is niner-two-two Foxtrot Bravo, checking in, requesting clearance to land at Quantico base.”

“Foxtrot Bravo, enter the holding pattern at Quantico base, while runway is cleared maintain seven thousand feet,” replies a controller.

“Foxtrot Bravo, roger, hold at Quantico. Maintain seven thousand feet,” she echoes back. Together she and Arthur adjust the instruments, setting the proper altitude and speed, and reset the Chronometer. There’s a few planes in the queue ahead of them, and they enter the holding pattern, circling slowly around the sky. So close to home.

She asks, “Do you think something’s wrong?”

“At the base?” Arthur asks. He begins to initiate their first left turn. “Holding patterns are quite standard.”

“No, I mean with the team,” she says. “I don’t know something just seems… off. It’s unusual.”

“Y/L/N. It’s not our job.” They’re not profilers. Their concerns are with the navigation instruments and smooth landings and weather conditions. Not the behavior of people around them. “I need you present when we’re flying. Not worrying about whatever horrors they’ve seen on a case.”

She nods. “Sorry, sir.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I know you care. And I know you’ve found friends with them. But I’ve told you before – they don’t let people in. And it’s best if we try not to get involved.”

The controller cuts in before she can reply. “Foxtrot Bravo, cleared to land, runway Romeo seven.”

“Cleared to land, runway Romeo seven, Foxtrot Bravo,” she says. She can be present. She can be here, in this seat, doing what she loves. And that can be enough, can’t it? She can ignore the text from Penelope Garcia inviting her to join her and the female agents for a drink this weekend. She can stop finding reasons to spend more time with Spencer than she needs to. She can be objective.

Arthur addresses the agents they’re supposed to stay away from. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We’ve just been cleared to land at Quantico base. Please make sure your seat belts are securely fastened and all personal items are stowed away.” His voice reaching to another part of the plane, another world.

On final approach, they guide Geff back down to the ground, a beautifully smooth landing.

“Welcome back to Quantico, Virginia,” Arthur says into the speaker. “Local time is 7:15 PM and the temperature is thirty-nine degrees Fahrenheit. Please wait until we have parked at the gate to move about the cabin. And as always, please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as items may have shifted during the flight.”

She and Arthur sit in the cockpit, the sound of agents shuffling out down the stairs muffled behind them. “You know,” he says, “Malik wants to have a dinner party soon. Maybe next weekend you and Martin could come over. He could bring Theresa and the baby. It might be nice, to spend some time altogether.” Their little misfit crew of pilots.

She’s not sure if it’s his way of apologizing for earlier, or perhaps a way to remind her of her own team and duties, but she says, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

They collect their own go-bags and descend the stairs. When the door has been closed once more and they turn the corner to leave, she’s startled by the familiar figure waiting by the hangar lockers. He’s busying himself with staring at the walls around him, but when he hears them, he lifts his head and looks right at her. As if asking permission.

Y/N glances at Arthur, who just sighs and shakes his head. “Go on then,” he says. “I think it’s too late when it comes to this one.”

With his blessing, she walks over to Spencer. “Hey,” she says. “Is everything okay?” Though if it were, he wouldn’t be standing here.

“Um… not – not really. I’m sorry, I know it’s late. But would you mind giving me a ride home? I’ll order us takeout to make up for it. I uh, ­– I was hoping that maybe we could talk. If that’s okay?” He adjusts the strap of his messenger bag. “I just need someone to talk to right now, and I really want it to be you.”

How can she say no to that? “I’ll grab my car from the lot. Should I meet you outside of the Bureau building?”

“Yeah. That’d be great. There’s something I have to finish first.”

Soon enough she’s parked under the awning of the Academy entrance, waiting for him. She starts the engine up when she spots him coming out of the double doors, pulling his coat a little tighter against the chill of the winter air. His eyes trail curiously over her car before he opens the door to get in. It occurs to her that he’s never seen her car before.

“What?” she asks. “Is this not what you were expecting?”

“I guess after your conversation with Garcia I was expecting your taste to be… more flashy?”

Y/N laughs. Her blue Prius is far from flashy. “Well, as much as I’d love to drive a Plymouth Fury or a vintage Ferrari, I thought I should get something that’s a bit more kind to the environment if I’m burning jet fuel all day, and a Prius is a decent hybrid. Not to mention, it’s got a great safety rating. Do you know how much more dangerous it is to fly than it is to drive?”

“On average, it’s about nineteen times more dangerous. The odds of dying as a result of a car accident in the United States are roughly 1 in 114, but the odds of dying in an aviation accident is closer to 1 in 9,821. You’re far more likely to die from choking on food than in a plane crash.”

“Of course you know that.” She grins at him, letting him know that she’s not making fun of him. She’s impressed by him. She always is. “I don’t know why I bother asking at this point.” The smile he offers in return is only half-hearted. The drive into the District is quiet. Given the tension she felt earlier, she decides not to push him for conversation. Yeeqin is away visiting her sister for the weekend so she offers to take them back to her apartment. He calls to order takeout to be delivered from the Indian place around the corner. They arrive at her place only moments before the food does, fortuitous timing.

It feels strangely intimate to invite him in. She’s been to his apartment twice for their LOST marathon, but this is the first time he’s seeing her space. She wonders what it looks like through his eyes, what a profiler can discern about her life from the books on the coffee table and the pictures on the walls. They sit at the tiny kitchen table she usually shares only with Yeeqin and split the samosas down the middle.

“So what’s going on?” she asks, taking a sip of mango lassi.

Spencer purses his lips and pushes the tikka masala around on his plate before answering. Whatever has happened is still bothering him. “This case was hard,” he says. “There was a cult. They were separating kids from their families and it just became something awful. Seeing someone taking advantage of all these people who put their trust in him, it just… I try to distance myself from things when I’m in the field, you know? I try to be objective and treat it like a puzzle, but it’s not. And sometimes it’s harder to keep that distance.”

“Yeah. I know.” She doesn’t have to push down her emotions to solve a killer, but she does know the difficulties of keeping one’s distance. Of trying not to feel something.

“The case was hard enough, but then I had a… a fight, I guess with a team member. Not like we were arguing more just, like I made them upset I guess. And I didn’t mean to. But I think in trying to be helpful, in trying to be objective, I hurt them. I think that I know things or that I understand people because of this job and then when I don’t… I feel like I’ve failed.”

“I’m sure you haven’t,” she says.

“They were struggling with something. And I thought breaking it down to a science would make it easier. Maybe because that helps me. But it just made things worse and then I didn’t know how else to comfort them.”

“What happened, exactly?” she asks.

Spencer hesitates. “Uh, I can’t – I can’t really say. It’s not mine to share.”

“Oh. Of course.” But it stings slightly. You can’t get close to them. Arthur’s words of warning echo in her head. They don’t let people in. After all this time, she’d begun to think that maybe it was different. Maybe they would trust her – maybe he would trust her. But perhaps the BAU is still an impenetrable world, one she’ll never truly be welcome in. Even now. Even with him. He still won’t let her in.

He looks down. “I hate knowing that the way I am made someone I care about feel worse. I don’t have a lot of friends outside my team. And sometimes I wonder if maybe that’s because I’m not a very good one.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she says, trying to push her own frustrations aside.

“It is. The only people I’m close to who aren’t colleagues are my mom, a former colleague, and… well, I guess my girlfriend. Before she died.”

The words instantly steal her breath. She had no idea. “Spencer, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

He shrugs. “It’s okay, it was two years ago, and I don’t usually talk about it. But it’s just so easy with you. I feel like I can tell you anything.”

The sting subsides. The way he looks at her so softly like a salve for the bitterness. He’s trying. He is letting her in. He is sharing things with her he doesn’t usually share. And small bit of knowledge lifts her hopes once more.

“Well I’m glad about that. And thank you, for telling me. Although I guess what I was trying to say was that I don’t think it’s true that you’re not a good friend. I mean, I haven’t even known you a whole year and I think you’re one of the best people I know. You’re thoughtful. You’re smart. You have a tendency to be passive aggressive sometimes,” she teases, and he nods in bashful acknowledgement. “But you’re a good friend. And I’m really, really happy that you’re my friend.”

“Me too,” he says. “I really like having you in my life.”

They stand at the sink together, washing the few dishes they’ve used, and she tries not to think about the way his arm rests against hers, his fingers touching hers when she hands him a plate to dry.

“I want to be a good friend to you,” Spencer tells her. “Which means I should probably ask how you’re doing now that I’ve talked about myself so much.”

“I’m good,” she answers. “I guess I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to belong somewhere. My parents haven’t spoken to me since I took this job.  I think they had higher expectations for me and I don’t think any of us really knows how to start to repair this rift between us. So it’s been strangely lonely. But I have Yeeqin, and our neighbors. I have Arthur, and Martin. And I think I’m finally starting to feel like I have a place with this job. Like I belong here.”

“Of course you do, Y/N. I mean we all think you’re great. Garcia always asks me about you. Ever since you came along, things have been different. Flying feels different. You’ve become part of the team. Not that Captain Dobson wasn’t,” he adds quickly. “But I get the sense he likes to keep a distance from things, while you…” He pauses, looking for the right words. When they don’t seem to come he just smiles. “You’re you. And you fit right it in.”

“Thank you, Spencer.”

“I’m sorry, though. About your family. You have a gift for flying. And for lifting people’s spirits. I don’t understand how who you are wouldn’t make them proud.”

Flying is her gift. Something she has always intrinsically understood. The world makes so much more sense to her from the sky. But it’s nice to know that someone outside of her world of aviators sees it as something worthwhile. It’s not just jet-setting and traveling and steering. It requires communication, a knowledge of physics and the earth and the weather. An ability to think fast and act faster.

Spencer sees her. He understands her. And he knows exactly what to say to make her feel at home.

“See?” she says, gently elbowing him. “You are a good friend.”

She decides that there has been enough trauma bonding for the night, and scoops them both a bowl of ice cream. They sit on her couch and she flips through the channels before settling on one playing one of her favorite old movies, Sabrina. It’s a nice way to unwind, with a the soft distraction of the television and the sweetness of the ice cream. And the simple pleasure of sitting beside each other.

Humphrey Bogart is sitting in the back of a car as his beloved Sabrina’s father, the chauffer, reprimands him. “I like to think of life as a limousine. Though we are all riding together, we must remember our places. There’s a front seat and a back seat and a window in between.”

Y/N is struck by the parallels. A cockpit and a cabin. A door in the middle. Two completely different worlds, inhabited by heroes who save the day and the pilots who ferry them from place to place. It’s easy to imagine Arthur saying those exact words to her, trying to protect her from her own heart.

Then she feels Spencer’s hand against her own. Glancing down as subtly as she can, she finds his pinky and ring finger stretched out over her own. So close it might be an accident. Maybe it is. But maybe for tonight she can let herself pretend it isn’t. Let herself believe that she is allowed to be close to him. Testing the waters, she slowly leans her head against his shoulder. He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t pull away. But he does, seconds later, respond in kind, resting his head against the top of hers. It’s warm, and his cardigan is soft against her cheek. Is this really the same man who didn’t want to shake her hand when they first met? Now they sit together, not quite embracing, but close. It’s so gentle. It feels so tender.

Neither of them says a word. They just sit there, in silence, sharing the same space.

And then the next thing she knows, she is blinking awake in the morning light. Her arm is around his waist. His hand on her shoulder. Her back incredibly stiff from falling asleep sitting up. The television is still softly playing.

She carefully pulls her arm away and sits up. His hand falls away from hers. She isn’t sure what is okay and what is too soon and what this is even supposed to be. What they are supposed to be. Y/N carefully inches to the opposite end of the couch and lies back down, pretending to still be asleep. But she stretches her leg out and allows her ankle to touch his. Holding on to some little connection. Soon, he awakes himself, and she pretends to startled out of slumber by his movements. Spencer looks at her, at their tangled legs, at her bedhead, and laughs. And she does too, giggling at how tired they must have been to fall asleep like that, how silly. How incredibly comfortable next to each other.

They walk downstairs and grab coffee and pastries at the bakery next to her building. She drives him home. He concedes that she’s far better at the helm of any vehicle than he could ever hope to be. She stops outside his building and he grabs his satchel and coffee.

Door open, he pauses, turns to her and says, “Thanks for this, Y/N.”

“Anytime, Doctor.”

He climbs out of the car. “Bye,” he says. “I l-” He blinks. “Um. I – I’ll see you on Monday.”

He closes the door. She waits until he gets into the building to start the ignition again, but lingers there on the curbside a few minutes more. Wondering what he would have said if he’d woken up to find them with their arms around each other like that. Wondering what exactly they are to each other.

#criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #brywrites #flight risk

[lonestarbabe]

Learning to Speak

Chapter 1: Channeling the Noise

[A03]

Moments of TK in therapy.

“Has anything important happened since your last session?” Melody Janson asks, a warm expression on her face. T.K.’s seen her for a couple of sessions already, but he’s still getting used to her therapy style. He’s been to a lot of therapists in his time, some of them good and some of them bad. He isn’t quite sure where Melody falls yet, but he likes her as a person, which is enough that he’s going to take the sessions semi-seriously, even if his willingness to share about himself is still limited. There are still some things that he can’t say and he’s not sure he will ever be able to say. He’s made peace with the antsiness of the things that go unsaid. The thwarted words bounce on his tongue like it’s a diving board and they are waiting to plunge into the icy waters of hard conversations.

“Depends what you consider important.” He pinches his lips together. He continues when she doesn’t say anything. “I don’t know. It’s been the same mostly. For all the action I experience, my life is boring most of the time.” Boredom is one of the things that makes him want to use, so he craves the moments of action, but there are never enough of them. He could tell her about calls he’d had on the job— like the baby in the tree—but he hadn’t done a whole lot in that rescue. The brunt of the work had been all his dad, ever the hero, and T.K. doesn’t feel like bringing up his dad because Melody always hones in on that topic. As nice as she is, she’s a vulture when it comes to certain discussions, which is probably what he needs, but he doesn’t want to need it. Some days he loves therapy, and other days, he hates it.

“Have you still been feeling restless?”

“Since birth,” he jokes. “I don’t know how to keep myself busy. Time is slower when I am sober. I only used oxy that once, but it feels like it’s sent me a million steps back.” One slip up, and he feels like he’s ruined everything. It feels like things will never be back to normal, and how can they be? He’s moved across the country to a hot and stuffy place that lacks the cool veneer of New York City. He misses Manhattan nights already. He doesn’t need stars. The New York skyline has always been more dazzling, and since he was a kid, it told T.K. stories that the constellations could never tell. New York may not be a natural wonder, but it’s a wonder nevertheless.

“Progress can be slow and isn’t always linear,” Melody reminds him. “How have the urges to use substances been?”

T.K. shifts in his seat. The urges are there, and that’s enough to send a wave of self-hate through T.K. It bothers him that he’ll never rid himself of those urges. He can lessen them, but he can’t stop them from existing. “Okay, I guess. They’ve been more manageable lately. I’m still fucked up, but I always will be.” Melody raises her eyebrows at “fucked-up,” and he knows it’s not because she’s concerned about his foul-mouth. He can tell she’s noting that to talk about later.

“What techniques have you been using to keep them manageable?” He has a whole toolbox of techniques that he’s collected from various stints in therapy, but some of them have become rusty, and it’s taking time to make them usable after neglecting them.

“I’ve been able to notice when I feel on edge more.” It’s like looking at the radar to predict a storm. He was never able to do that before. He’d always ignored that feeling of creeping closer to a cliff until he was staring down at the abyss below and gravity pulled him over.

“Sounds like you’re learning a lot about yourself. When I saw you in our last session, you were very on edge. You said you were feeling antsy about being in Austin. How are you feeling this week about being here?”

“It’s never going to be home, but I’m getting used to this place. I’m not getting lost as much, and it has a weird charm.”

Melody understands what he means immediately. “Yeah, it sure does. Have you been keeping up with thought-behavior logging?” The thought-behavior log is a worksheet that she gives him each week to explore how certain situations can lead to beliefs that produce unhealthy behaviors and negative feelings.

T.K. nods. “I’ve been filling it out, but I don’t know that it’s doing anything.”

“You did say that you were more aware of when you felt anxious. That’s progress. Did you make any helpful observations when you were logging your information? Even something small can be important.”

“That distractions are good for me.” Getting his mind off what was wrong with him is the best way to pretend that he was okay. He isn’t sure if that was an unhealthy way of coping or not. Knowing himself, it probably leaned towards unhealthy.

“What kind of distractions do you mean?”

“Anything I can find.” Anything but that one thing that he shouldn’t do, shouldn’t even think about.

“What’s the first one that comes to mind?” She’s persistent enough that she can get past the resistance that T.K. can’t help but have when some tries to get to know him.

“I met a guy— Carlos— and he’s been keeping me busy enough that I can keep my impulses in check.” He adds, “It doesn’t hurt that he’s hot. Between seeing Carlos and my job, I don’t have too much time to think. I can’t be tempted if I don’t have tempting thoughts. It’s a win-win.” T.K. is enjoying the no-strings relationship he has with Carlos. He’s glad they haven’t decided to complicate things by defining a relationship. He’s not ready for a real relationship. He gets attached too fast and that only leads to heartbreak.

“So these distractions are the main tool you use to stay sober?”

“I guess. It’s been working so far. I haven’t relapsed.” He’s thought about substances— a lot— but he hasn’t acted on those thoughts. He doesn’t let himself be proud of that fact because staying sober never should have been a challenge to begin with.

“I think that would be a good topic to add to our session today. But before we dig too deep into that, I want to know what else you’d like to cover today. Is there anything you think we need to talk about beyond this new relationship and the other distractions you may have going on?”

“It’s not a relationship,” T.K. tells her. “It’s… complicated.” T.K. chuckles to himself. “I’m sure you’ll want to unpack that.” So much to unpack, so little time.

“You’re as much responsible for our agenda as I am.” He doesn’t want that responsibility. He wants someone to shove him through this process as quickly as possible so that he doesn’t have to think about it anymore, but Melody has explained how important it is that he takes an active role in the process, so he’s trying to meet her halfway.

“I guess we can add it. It can’t hurt.”

“Okay, T.K.,” she says, “I think we should also touch on how you’ve been feeling about your sobriety.”

“We can talk about it, but I’m feeling fine.” He’s not happy, but it’s not like he’s ready to swallow a handful of pills— again. He wants to be sober. He wants to be alive. I’m good.

“You seem apathetic about most of these topics,” Melody observes. “Why do you think that is?”

“It’s just been that kind of week.” Work’s been hard. He isn’t sure what to think of his new coworkers yet. He likes them, but he doesn’t know them yet. It doesn’t take long for firefighters to bond with how much time they spend together, but T.K. is overwhelmed with having to basically reset his whole life and try to make sense of his new situation.

“What kind of week is that?” Therapy is a lot of questions, so many questions.

“The kind where I don’t want to think.” He wants to clear his mind and forget he exists because that’s easier than having to sort through the influx of feelings that he has. It’s the perfect kind of mood for substances to creep in and screw everything up.

“I see. Is something weighing on your mind?”

T.K. shrugs both shoulders. “Just the usual stuff. Work, getting used to this crazy place. I haven’t slept well.”

“Have you been having trouble adjusting?”

“It’s hard not knowing anyone. I’m good with people, so I can fit in, but it’s still hard. ” He puts on a big smile and acts like his normal goofy self and that seems to endear other people enough, but it doesn’t bring them too close. He’s not sure if he’s ready to get too close.

“That’s something we can explore some more because you’ve expressed in past sessions feeling like you don’t have a good support system here in Austin.”

“Another item on the agenda?”

She nods, a pleasant look on her face. “Does what we have sound like enough?”

“We’ve got a lot on the agenda,” T.K. says with a sigh. “So, yeah, sounds like enough.”

“You always rise to the challenge. Remember that we can always be flexible to suit your needs, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Let me ask, what is the most important of these items for you, T.K.?”

“Let’s start with the distraction thing,” T.K. tells her because he’s not sure where he wants to begin and the first thing on the list seems easy enough. Might as well just knock them out in order. “Or the guy thing. They’re pretty much the same topic.” His heart gets fluttery when he thinks of Carlos, and he’s not sure if it’s in a bad way or a good one.

“Okay, the male distraction. Do you want to tell me about him?”

“His name is Carlos. I met him on a call.”

“What do you like about him?” He’s nice to me. He has the best smile. He was the first person who made me forget that I was an outsider in Austin.

“I think the sex might be better than drugs.” He says the sex part before thinking about it, and then he feels weird because he’s talking about his sex life with a woman he barely knows. He’s always been pretty open about that kind of thing, a trait he inherited from his parents, but it’s different in a clinical setting. The faded, geometrically-patterned chair feels stiff under him like it’s judging him.

Melody’s face doesn’t change from neutral. “What about sex is satisfying to you?” Everything. T.K. doesn’t really believe that sex is better than drugs, but it is close and it helps him to pretend that it is better than drugs. Sex is a release. It allows him to escape his head for a while and give in to his carnal urges. “Like I said, it’s a distraction.”

“What does it distract you from?” Everything.

“If I think about it too hard, that defeats the purpose of distraction, doesn’t it?” He doesn’t like to use the words addict or drugs or substances, which probably doesn’t bode well when drugs are what got him in therapy in the first place, but at the end of the day, the drugs are a symptom of the feelings he has that he can’t deal with. Those stiff words hang in the air and then he keeps thinking about them, and if he thinks about them, he figures that he’ll give in eventually, and he doesn’t want to give in. He doesn’t want to disappoint his dad, lose his job, or hurt anyone else. He doesn’t care much about himself, but the way his addiction impacts other people holds him back when he’s on the edge between resiting and relapsing. Sometimes, it is enough. Other times, it is not.

“What do you think will happen if you talk about it?”

“I’ll lose control?” Control— that sounds deep and pathological, and therapists like that, right? He’d had a therapist who had been obsessed with the control thing, so he ran with the idea, thinking it was something he could hurry Melody through. His real answer is somewhere behind a wall in his mind that he doesn’t want to peak through let alone tear down. He keeps a lot behind that wall, just beyond the point of easy access. It’s a cluttered wasteland, but with the wall, he doesn’t have to look at the mess of life. He can pretend it’s not there, and if he can’t easily access it, he won’t think about it.

“Lose control of what?” she pushes him.

“Just in general,” T.K. tries.

“What is it about control that alarms you so much?” she asks again, and the question is oddly unsettling as flashes of him being high or drunk rush through his mind. He brought this up, and now he’s regretting the can of worms he’s popped open thinking it was just a normal can. He suddenly and ironically feels like he’s lost control of this line of thought. He should have thought this through, but he didn’t. That’s what he’s always done; he didn’t look before he leaped. He’s not afraid of losing control, he realizes with dread. He’s afraid of taking control. Maybe Dr. Bundting wasn’t such a quack about this control thing after all.  There’s something alluring about spiraling. He disarms himself so that no one can do it for him. He hands his life over to substances so that he doesn’t have to take the reigns and navigate through it himself.

T.K. crosses his arms over his chest. “No one likes to lose control.” Except for freaks like me. T.K. feels his chest clench, and his heart is pounding.

“The question seems to bother you. Was there something I said that made you uncomfortable?”

“It’s complicated.” Complicated is the way T.K.’s life works. Nothing is clear-cut, and it makes deciding what the fuck he is doing with his life eight million times harder.

“Can you explain what makes it so complicated?”

“It’s weird,” he tries, but Melody has never been stopped by that excuse before, so he’s not sure why he thinks it will work now.

“Austin is weird,” Melody says with a reassuring smile. “We like weird here.”

T.K. takes a breath. “I used to lose control all the time, and it didn’t bother me. I liked being out of my mind and not caring about anything.”

“And how does it make you feel about yourself when you’re in that state of mind?”

He swallows. “Like I’m defective.” He adds a laugh so it doesn’t sound so pathetic. “But also like I’m alive. It takes away the worries for a while.” He shakes his head. “But, mostly defective.”

“You remember how we talked about core beliefs?”

T.K. rolls his eyes. “I’ve been hearing that word for years.”

“Then you probably know where I am going with this. What makes you think you’re defective?”

“I can’t do things that normal people can.”

“What can’t you do?”

“Handle things in a normal way. When anything goes wrong, I spin out.”

“You’ve been managing your cravings. That doesn’t seem like spinning out to me.”

“It’s more of a feeling, and then the feeling is what makes me want to do things that I shouldn’t.”

“Can you define what ‘spinning out’ means to you?” Wanting to give in and wreck my life just to escape my head for a while.

“I go crazy. My mind starts to race, and before I can think better of it, I’m doing something dumb.” He hates to think about all the stupid things he’s done just because he doesn’t have the mental clarity to resist those impulsive urges.

“What kind of ‘dumb’ actions are you referring to?”

“Relapsing, fighting, fucking up opportunities— those kinds of things.”

“You called those actions dumb, so can you tell me what do those actions have to do with your intelligence?” Because I am an idiot who can’t control himself.

“Because I should know better than to do them. That’s pretty dumb, right?”

“You seem to use that kind of language a lot about yourself. Do you think addiction or mental illness makes someone dumb?”

“I know it makes me dumb.” My mistakes could have all been avoided if I only used my head.

“Okay, so your addiction makes you feel dumb, but if you saw my other patients behaving because of their illnesses, would you call them dumb? Or did your dad’s PTSD, for example, make him dumb?”

“He went through a lot, so it makes sense that he would react in the way he did. He wasn’t acting dumb, not really. He was just trying to survive after a shitty situation put his life in danger.”

“And what’s different about you? When you talk about your dad, you blame the circumstances, but when you talk about yourself, you attack your core characteristics.”

“I made choices. That’s what created his problems. My dad was powerless. Something happened to him while I happened to me.”

“I’m all for taking accountability, but don’t you think you’re showing yourself none of the mercy that you offer your dad or other important people in your life?”

“He deserves that.” I don’t.

“What has he done to deserve that? You’ve talked about how his actions hurt you, so why do you forgive him for those actions that hurt you but not your own actions that hurt you?”

“There’s nothing to forgive. He never meant to hurt you.”

“Did you mean to hurt yourself?” she prods.

“I tried to…” T.K. trailed off. “I nearly died.”

“If you got to choose how you feel, would you choose to hurt?”

“No. Who would?”

“So, that brings me back to the question, why can you forgive others more easily than yourself.”

“It hurts me more not to forgive him.”

“Does it not hurt you more to not forgive yourself?”

“Because maybe he’s not perfect, but I’ve burdened him with my issues, so I owe him forgiveness. It’s not his fault that I’m overly sensitive or whatever. He made mistakes.” But I am the mistake. “But he’s a hero, and the hero’s kid always has to make room for the heroics, but I was always too selfish to see that..” T.K. doesn’t mention how he still has a kernel of resentment for Owen, one that he has never been able to forgive away.

“What about you? You save people every day. Aren’t you a hero? If being a hero is why you are merciful with your dad, shouldn’t you extend that to yourself?”

“Yeah, but it’s my job to save people, and I haven’t sacrificed anything to help others. My dad lost his whole crew on 9/11. That’s a sacrifice.” What about my loss? the childish part of him wants to say, but he’s learned that that part of him is the one that drives him further from his dad. When he lets his inner child say his piece, the tension between T.K. and Owen smothers any goodwill they’ve forced into existence through years of close proximity and the common goal of saving other people’s lives.

“It takes sacrifice to be a hero?”

“Yeah, if you don’t lose anything from doing something, it’s not a big deal.”

“You sacrificed many moments with your Dad. You sacrifice time and energy at your job. Wouldn’t that make you a hero too under your definition?”

“It’s not like I had a choice.”

“Why not?”

“Firefighting was the only thing I’ve ever considered.”

“Okay, and why’s that?”

“Because I knew it was what I wanted.” He didn’t need to think. While other kids his age had been debating what they wanted to be, he never had to make that grueling decision. He just knew. My fate had been decided for me already, and it was nice not to have to think about what kind of future I wanted. It had always been written for me.

“What was it that you wanted?” A dad.

“To be like my dad.”

“And are you like him?”

“Not in any of the good ways.” T.K.’s sure that he and Owen are both headstrong. They’re both passionate and like grand gestures. T.K. knows that he’s a lot like his Dad but not in the ways that would make him proud.

“In what ways aren’t you like him?”

“Well, for one, I’m constantly making bad decisions. I nearly died before I came here, remember? I was so dumb. What was I trying to accomplish by nearly killing myself?”

“You’re back to using the word ‘dumb.’ Do you know the early meaning of dumb?”

“Probably not,” T.K. admits.

“In Old English, it referred to someone who was mute.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And people conflated the inability to speak with the lack of intelligence. Dumb was a word used to degrade and mock those who couldn’t speak because other people didn’t understand muteness”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“While the behaviors that result because of your mental illness may feel dumb as in stupid, you’re conflating your inability to speak with the lack of intelligence. Mental illness doesn’t rob you of your intelligence; it robs you of your ability to speak and communicate your feelings. Your ‘dumb’ behaviors are attempts at communication, but in these sessions, we figure out how you can break your silence.

“So I’m learning how to talk to people?”

“Not just how to talk to people but also how to talk to yourself. Your self-dialogue fuels your feelings and behaviors, so if we can change that dialogue, we can change your experiences with the world. What I want to accomplish with you goes beyond just talking.  What I’m teaching you is how to communicate healthily, which can come in more forms than just verbal language. There are lots of ways to speak, and what you need to do is find the ones that work for you.” Melody’s words linger with T.K. as he carries on the session, and he wonders if happiness is that easy. Is it nothing more than learning to speak?

#text #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #My writing #Elise Writes #My Fics #3000 - 7500 words

[nikibogwater]

The Norse Chaos Chronicles: Chapter Four--In which by some Easter miracle, the Incompetent Vikings defeat the Elder

Been a few days since my last update in regards to Team Bogwater’s exploits in the world of Valheim. This is mostly because we actually had a couple of play sessions that were relatively calm.

We actually did manage to expand to the Black Forest across the sea and set up a functioning base there, where we lived in somewhat cramped quarters for a while until we had gathered enough minerals to enter the Bronze Age (and by cramped, I mean all three of us were crammed into what was basically a single king-sized bed because we failed to make the house big enough to accommodate a reasonable amount of space between each of our beds--clearly some home renovations are in order).

I, being a very kind and responsible sister, spent some time on the server by myself making our base more secure with Stake Walls, setting up a sufficient space for storage, and gathering food, all tasks that the others didn’t seem too excited to take care of. I was expecting the boys to notice and at least tell me that my additions were helpful.

I know for a fact that they at least noticed, because when I joined them for this most recent play session, Gustav had decided that what our base needed now was a spike pit around the front gate, which I know wouldn’t have occurred to him if I hadn’t put up the spiky walls. I was never told that my additions were helpful or appreciated, but considering that there were far fewer deaths happening close to our base, I suspect they were nonetheless. 

Niki: ...Is....Do we really need the spike trap? Like, is it necessary? Gustav: How could you even ask something like that?! I have never been more upset in my life.  Niki: It’s just...like, there’s a bridge that goes right over it. Gustav: Yeah. So we can get across it. Niki: Right but so could the Greydwarves. Gustav: Greydwarves aren’t that smart. (20 minutes later) Gustav, trying and failing to shove a Greydwarf into the pit: You guys, I may have overestimated how unintelligent Greydwarves are.

Gustav got exactly one (1) Greydwarf to fall into the pit and die. The only other thing he caught was Tripe. 

Okay, well, he did manage to get a Troll to walk into the spikes, but then it just smashed them all to pieces. It was at this point that Gustav finally accepted the reality of the fact that a spike pit was completely useless to us in this particular area.

Gustav, filling in the pit with rocks: Man, why didn’t one of you guys warn me that the spike trap was a dumb idea? Niki and Tripe: Yeah, that was our bad. 🙄 (10 minutes later) Niki, just peacefully mining copper in the forest: Wait, so where did the Troll go- *gets slammed by the Troll before I can even finish voicing the question* GUSTAV, WHY DIDN’T YOU KILL IT?!

Tripe and Gustav upgraded to Bronze Gear and Troll Hide (I brought mine over from my single player world to save time and resources). I was still trying to gather up enough Bronze to make a Cultivator so we could eat something other than Cooked Meat and Queen’s Jam, when suddenly I was informed that we were getting into a boat (we upgraded from the raft, finally) and going to kill the Elder.

Tripe: Get in losers, we’re going to kill the next boss. Gustav: *jumps in without any hesitation* Niki: Wait what?! That’s a terrible idea! (5 minutes later) Niki, sulking in the front of the boat: Did I mention this is a really bad idea? Gustav and Tripe: It’s fine. How bad can it possibly be?

Horrible. Absolutely horrible. That’s how bad it was. 

We had rather unlucky RNG with our world generation, and the Elder’s altar was a good 1,000 miles away from us. Which meant a significant portion of this play session was actually just sitting in the boat and watching the scenery pass. 

It sounds like a pleasant time, but I was absolutely terrified the whole way there. 

Gustav: ...Oh hey, we discovered the ocean. Niki, who has seen videos of Sea Serpents absolutely wrecking well-equipped players: BACK TO THE SHORE. GO BACK. DO NOT MOVE INTO OPEN WATERS. GUSTAV, FOR THE LOVE, GO BACK TO THE SHORELINE! (Passing a Plains biome) Niki: ...Did you guys know there are one-hit death bugs in the Plains Gustav and Tripe: Will you please calm down

We happened to run across Haldur the merchant shortly before reaching our destination. Since Valheim doesn’t tie your inventory to individual worlds, I went ahead and bought a few things to bring back to my single-player world (namely the fishing gear). I hopped off the server for a minute to transfer the items, and while I was in my world, I grabbed some extra food (the boys are terrible about keeping food in their inventories) and, since I figured we’d need all the help we could get, grabbed a few jugs of mead without really paying attention to what effects they gave.

When I came back into the server, Tripe and Gustav were setting up our temporary base so we could reset our spawn points. Right. Smack. Dab. Next to the altar. As in, when the Elder spawned, he was going to basically be standing directly on top of it. 

Niki: ...You guys that seems like a poorly-conceived plan. Gustav and Tripe: No, it’s fine. Stop worrying. 

At this point, I was pretty resigned to the disaster that was inevitably going to unfold, so I just grabbed some wood and set up my own shack a decent ways away without making any further attempts to convince the other two. 

Gustav: Niki, where are you? We’re all ready. Niki: I just...I’ll be there in a minute, hold on. Tripe: What are you doing? Niki: ...I’m building a house. Gustav: YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE WHEN WE HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD ONE RIGHT HERE?! RUDE! Niki: I DON’T WANNA RESPAWN AND THEN JUST IMMEDIATELY BE SQUISHED AGAIN, ALRIGHT?!

Houses built and weapons readied, we all gathered at the altar. I chucked the Ancient Seeds into the flame and immediately booked it out of the vicinity as fast as my meaty Vikings legs could carry me, frantically downing a jug of mead as I went. The Elder spawned in and within seconds, absolute carnage reigned supreme.

Gustav died within the first two minutes and spent the next ten trying to make it back to his grave. Which he couldn’t really do because his respawn point was right next to the Elder, and emerging from the house naked of all armor and gear was basically an instant death sentence.

Gustav: I’ve died six times trying to get my gear back. We really shouldn’t have built the house this close to the altar. Niki, why didn’t you warn us? Niki, fleeing from the massive thorny vines that the Elder is trying to impale her on: I hate you guys so much right now.

I was hanging back as much as I could, dealing damage with my Finewood Bow, but the Elder has a huge range of attack, and it had me down to single digits in health within less than a minute. And it was at this point that I realized I had majorly screwed up.

The mead that I had been frantically chugging in hopes of gaining better health regen? It was actually slowing my health regen and only increasing my stamina.

Niki: YOU GUYS THE MEAD WAS A MISTAKE. OH MY GOSH, IT’S MINUS FIFTY HEALTH REGEN, NOT PLUS! OH CRAP CRAP CRAP--I’M LITERALLY SLOSHED OVER HERE! Gustav: WAIT, NIKI CAME INTO THIS FIGHT DRUNK?! Niki: I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MINUS SIGN!!!! *yeets the rest of the mead into the ocean before meeting my first demise at the hands of the Elder*

Miraculously, I only died twice during the fight (again, mostly because my respawn point was away from the altar, meaning I had a clearer path back to my graves when I respawned). I have no idea how many times the other two died. Towards the end we were also being bombarded by hoards of Greydwarves, which only made things ten times worse.

Gustav: Have either of you seen my corpse? I mean, I have several lying around here at this point. 

I don’t even know how we managed it, but we did finally take out the Elder and received our Swamp Keys. We all stood around the scene of destruction for a minute, just kind of collecting ourselves. 

Tripe: ...I feel like that could’ve gone better. Gustav: Yeah.  It’s just, Niki goes and does all this research and watches videos and then she doesn’t bother to tell us not to put our house so close to the- Niki: *punches him*

The trip home was blessedly uneventful. Tripe did decide to cut across the ocean instead of following the shoreline in order to save time. I was 90% certain we were all going to be eaten by a Serpent, but we were fine. 

We made it back to our camp only to find a Greydwarf Shaman mucking around in our front yard.

Gustav: What is he--is he barfing on our house...? NO, HE’S SMASHING THE CART! OH YOU SON OF A-- *takes a flying leap out of the boat and tears through the shallows, furiously waving his spear*

The Shaman poisoned Tripe, who had a mild panic attack because his respawn point was still back at the Elder’s Altar, and if he died now he would have to walk all the way back here. 

Tripe, with 1 HP left: NO I’M NOT DYING LIKE THIS! *dives headfirst into the nearest bed*

So yes. That is what I was doing this weekend, in case any of you were wondering where I disappeared to. I am hoping to spend some time working on ToA stuff today, but I again, I think it is important to record these events for posterity...and perhaps as a cautionary tale for others.

#niki rambles #gaming #valheim

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen X’s Gacha Rules for a ‘Good’ Gacha Game (Featuring Arknights)

Hey look, that Arknights essay came quicker than I thought.

Continuing on my goal of finishing up all my years-old drafts by the end of February, I think it’s pretty damn convenient that I glanced over this half-finished opinion piece just in time for the next limited banner for Arknight’s CN server to be announced. This is a topic I’ve been wanting to cover for awhile now. If there was anything that was a decent marker for Allen X’s gaming experience these past 4-ish years it was the fact that he got real into Gacha Games. I’ve dipped my toe into quite a few different Gacha phone games over the years. AFK Arena, Granblue Fantasy, Girls Frontline, and even an Ikkitousen gacha game at one point. And of course Arknights, which is my current main gacha game at the moment.  

Honestly, the only thing I didn’t play was Fate/Grand Order, and for damn good reason, but one thing at a time.

Anyway, with all that time I spent playing these games I’ve slowly given myself a ruleset and mindset for how I handle these gacha games. And I figured I’d talk about how I go about playing some of them, some of the experiences I’ve gained, and what I look into when it comes to the money portion of playing a ‘free-to-play’ game. I’ll mostly be talking about Arknights since it’s the main gacha game I’ve been playing for the past year and I don’t play two of these at once for damn good reason. 

So, with that all said, let’s start off with... 

Point 1: Methods of Ten-Pulls

For those new, the typical loop for most gacha games is to roll for rare characters and use them to complete segments of the game, whether for their looks, stats, or playstyle (but mostly looks). The characters themselves are usually drawn in an attractive and appealing way, along with having abilities and statistics that are desirable from a gameplay perspective, at least those of a higher rarity. The more you pull and buy into the gacha, the higher the chance you get for a rare character. Some games have deals where you pull can pull for free with some in-game resource like Girls Frontline, and more commonly the game encourages you to pull 10 at a time to increase your chances. 

For any good gacha game, I feel you should be able to pull for free at a fair rate. That varies a lot depending the game mechanics at play, how the game handles duplicate pulls, the rarity rate of gacha pulls, and so on, but in general if you can pull 10 times every two weeks I’ll consider the game fair, at least on that front. 

Arknights is actually a pretty good example of this. Headhunting aside, you can pull 4 times a day using in-game resources in the recruitment section of the menu, but those pulls tend to be a lot more common and not viable in the endgame like some of the ones you get in headhunting. And even without the recruitment section you can usually ten-pull about twice a month if you do the daily and weekly missions plus the weekly Annihilation missions. When I first discussed Arknights in this regard I had some confusion about how Annihilation worked and assumed it reset monthly. I apologize if I misled people with that statement. 

Anyway, by doing all the activities and missions that give you Orundum, the gacha currency, you should be able to collection about 10,000 Orundum every month, which is one guaranteed ten-pull a month. This is a little under what I would had preferred for Arknights and there’s a good chance I’m missing a free source of Orundum somewhere (and I’m rounding down to play it safe), but... it’s fair enough. 

But onto my second point.

Point 2: Premium Currency in Relation to Real-World Currency.

In short, I should have a clear idea how much it cost to pull a character if I was going to whale. Typically, in most gacha games you can purchase a premium currency in order to pull characters with real world money. The amount can vary from game to game, but there should be a clear idea of how much it cost to pull for a character. 

As a free-to-play game, most gacha games do need some kind of reliable income. Let’s be real here, this game doesn’t run on happiness and sunshine and I don’t mind giving money to products I want to see succeed and continue, but if it takes 20 bucks to ten-pull I’m going to find that ridiculous unless the gacha rate is in highly my favor.

Arknights uses Originium Prime as it’s premium currency, an item that can be transferred into 180 Orundum per unit. One Originium Prime costs one dollar. You need about 33 Originium Prime to get the 6,000 Orundum needed to pull ten times, or a little over 3 Originium Prime to pull once using 600 Orundum. This means on average it costs around $33 to pull on command.

This is absurd for a tower defense game.

Now, Originium Prime does a lot more than let you engage with the gacha, but the brass tacks of this is that for every ten-pull you do you could just as easily get 3 games off a Steam sale, maybe more. I also think I should note that Arknight’s store lets you buy 40 Originium Prime for $30 as a bundle, cutting that cost to about 75 cents per Originium Prime. There’s also an option for 66 Originium Prime for $50, but that for just a little over 75 cents per Originium Prime if my math is correct. Either way, Arknights is asking for quite the price to engage in one of its main mechanics. 

And yes, you can gain Originium Prime in game by perfect-clearing stages and clearing the challenge modes, but there’s a finite a moment of those stages and events maps are pretty scarce in Arknights, coming around once every two-ish months with about 15-20 chances for Originium Prime. As a casual player this is... fine, but for folks that rush the endgame this is... a tad much. 

Now, I’m a casual player. I don’t rush to the latest content and I don’t try and min-max a gacha game of all things. As much I mostly just buy a monthly pack that grants me about 300 Orundum for free daily for 30 days and 6 Originium Prime upon purchase. This makes the grind a little easier and it’s a cheap way to show monetary support to the development team. However, I do recognize there are people that do these min-max and rush content and my opinion of these folks aside I think those folks probably spend the most money as well, undeservedly so. But this is more a discussion of the individual person and not the gacha community as a whole.

So... moving on...

Point 3: Late Game Viability as a Free-to-Play

To me, it should never feel like you need the gacha to finish the game or get to the endgame content. For a free to play game, you should be able to at least finish the initial pre-update content without needing to try and a pull a rare character to get you through a hard segment of the game. Events and Post-Launch stuff have a bit of wiggle room, but overall I don’t think you should need a team of the rarest characters to just beat the game, at least not a meta-team. That doesn’t mean the desire to pull can’t be there, but at least for the launch-content, you should be able to finish it out as a free-to-play player. Thankfully, most games (most good games) will give you a pretty decent team to work with if you truly have bad luck with rolls. Girls Frontline is a good example of this.

Arknights... isn’t as generous as I’d like it to be.

In Arknights, by the end of Chapter 4, with limited engagement of the Gacha, you’ll have handful of 4-Stars that can be leveled to the late game with decent stats, Amiya, and an assortment of 3 stars that can technically get you through those first four chapters if used and placed wisely. But some four stars like Gavial, Courier, and Dur-nar are time-limited if I remember correctly, so as of me typing this there’s no reliable way to get some of those characters.

Meanwhile, in Girls Frontline you got most of team Anti-Rain by the mid-game pre-updates, a group of 4-star guns that had already great utility and with half of their members being in the meta of the pre-update endgame content, and are still viable to this day if I remember correctly. 

This is a major point of contention I have with Arknights. I think they’re fairer than most gacha games, but I’ll admit they don’t like giving handouts, not as many as I’d prefer anyway. Even the stingy AFK Arena gave you more stuff after maintenance updates and the like, and I hate the fact that I complimented AFK Arena on anything.

But onto my last point.

Point 4: 5-Star/SSR Rates Must be Around 4% or Higher.

This is the main reason I’ll never touch F/GO (along with other reasons). Every gacha game should, statistically, guarantee a five-star/SSR/highest-tier rarity after 30 pulls. Any more than that and you’re playing with a rigged slot machine by my standards. Like I said, the main goal of most gacha games is to get you pulling for these are fancily drawn jpegs and pngs, and while those characters technically have gameplay function and even limited animation in certain non-gameplay settings, they’re still pictures nonetheless. And if I have to dip more than 30 times to get something good then what’s the point.

Again, using Arknights, their 5-Stars are at a rather generous 8%, but their 6-Stars being at a tad crueler 2%. By all accounts, I shouldn’t be touching Arknights because of this, but due to the nature of how busted Six-Stars are and a few other details like base functions, potential levels, and some other factors in Arknights gameplay, I let this slide for the moment.

Regardless, I shouldn’t take more than 20 pulls to get a highly rated unit of some sort. The details of the specific unit can be discussed at a later date, but my point remains.

Also, any gacha game that mixes accessories and characters in the same pull pool is equally unplayable. Characters have utility and gameplay functions that can be used for multiple strategies and methods, along with out-of-game benefits ala the base mechanics of Arknights depending on the game. Accessories and items are stat buffs in game where grinding levels is already purposely tedious. Anything making that act more of a hinderance is honestly trying to rob you blind and should be avoided like the plague.

Now... one more thing to talk about. 

About Arknights Specifically

You know... between me bitching about Chapter 7, bitching about Chapter 6, bitching about 7-18, and bitching about Code of Brawl I get the feeling you all think I hate Arknights. 

Trust me, I only whine and moan because I love this game and the people who made it, I wouldn’t waste my breath or keystrokes otherwise. 

That said, I would like to see some things change about Arknights on a foundational level. I’ll try and keep this short, but no promises.

Endgame Team for Free

This is the team you have to work with for 6-7 because of story reasons and I think this team should gained for free to by the end of chapter 6, everyone in this squad should be in your rooster by the end. Even Blaze, her kit is good, but not as busted as Silverash so she wouldn’t shatter the game’s difficulty. This team overall is very well balanced for end game content and has all the essentials to get through it. E2 medics and guards, cheap vanguards and defenders for last minute placements to stall, a good sniper that can do solid burst damage, some specialists just in case you need to manipulate enemy movement and path detection. I believe you can get Rope, FEater, and Myrrh free, but Blaze and Greythroat for reliable lategame damage feels like a must. And I see nothing wrong with giving out those two for free anyway, especially for what was near endgame content at the time and how pivotal Blaze and Greythroat were to the storyline of Chapter 6. And yes I feel the same way about Rosmontis in Chapter 7 too. She’s actually a pretty niche unit and a 6-Star that’s expensive to upgrade, just having her in your pocket wouldn’t shatter the game like it would be if you gave us, again, Silverash.

Gacha Rates

I think arguing for cheaper prices with the Originium Prime is a fools errand because corporations will never listen, but I’ll at least say this. The rules of the gacha that followed the WWE Banner should be for all future banner. You should get a banner-specific currency that lets you outright buy the rare units on said banner if you have bad enough luck. You needed to pull 300 times to get W or Weedy and about 50 times to get  Elysium. I feel like both of these should be cut in half. Going by the math I previously did counting that requirement in half would mean only doing 15 ten-pulls, about 495 Originium Prime (89,100 Orundum) or a little over $370 for a limited operator.

This is still absurd for a tower defense game, but it is a far more fair than the original system.

Other Small Quality of Life Changes

A quick pull for recruitment operators so we don’t have to see the bag animation 4 times over. Girls Frontline had something similar by the time I left and it was all the better for it. 

A similar form of auto-play to Girls Frontline where you can send in one of your 4 squads to auto play a map off screen a number of times and come back later when they’re down for materials at the cost of extra sanity. 

Have a Orundum be a log-in reward. Again, something Girls Frontline did and I think coughing out 1,000 Orundum once a week wouldn’t kill anyone.

Buff Amiya goddammit. Either remove/shorten the stun on her S2 to make her have reliable (if random) magical burst damage or remove the instant retreat on her S3 so she can become a hard-hitting damage unit at the cost of a high SP cost and cooldown timer. Don’t give major drawbacks to your only non-event free 5-Star when Silverash exists. When Click and Haze has more viability than your main character you have a problem.

Anyway, that’ll be it for me. Next time... I talk about something that isn’t me bitching.

#your dictator is speaking #arknights

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB MIV Week 18 Roundup!

Go lavish some love on our wonderful creators!

Title: Better Than McDonalds Collaborator: 27dragons Card Number: 4027 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S3 - Janet Van Dyne Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Past Abuse, friends helping friends, correcting dickish behavior Summary: For this prompt from the Winteriron Winter Stockings event: Bucky comes out from an abusive relationship. Tony is different, very different. But then, he also forgets dates, makes rash decisions and talks over Bucky. That’s okay. Tony, when he finds out, doesn’t think so and tries to change it. It’s slow going. But he will do everything to get Bucky to smile that smile more often! Word Count: 1210

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Title: The Physics of Snowball Fights Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Card Number: 4042 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - nerf/water gun war Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fluff and Humor, MIT Era, Snow Day, Snowball Fight, Kissing in the Snow Summary: Tony and Rhodey engage in some snow day shenanigans. For science. Word Count: 985

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Title: Febuwhump Day 7: Poisoning | Tony & Morgan Collaborator: startrekkingaroundasgard Card Number: 4048 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K1 - Iron Dad Ship: Tony & Morgan Rating: Teen Major Tags: poisoning Summary: As they’re working in the lab together, Morgan comes over suddenly unwell. Tony realises she has been poisoned.  Word Count: 622

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Title: Hel–loki–tty Collaborator: deehellcat Card Number: 4028 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S3 - Asgard Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: cross stitch Summary: Cross stitched Hello Kitty Loki, with the glowstick of destiny at hand and helmet (adapted for ears!) firmly in place

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Title: I Just Need You Collaborator: JehBeeEh Card Number: 4058 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R1 - A Battle/Fight/Confrontation Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Breaking up and Making up Summary: Tony did the right thing. He really and truly believes he did the right thing. Steve deserved better. Even if it makes them both miserable. Word Count: 2508

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Title: Captain America Shield Sachet Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Card Number: 4042 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: adopted square - vibranium Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: craft Summary: Captain America’s shield, made out of felt and filled with rice & a vanilla scent.

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Title: On the Edge of Glory Collaborator: deehellcat Card Number: 4028 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 - kink: edging/orgasm denial Ship: Pepperony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Role-Play, Bondage, Tentacles, Consensual Non-Consent, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Kinky Tech, Desperation Play, Suspension, Gags, Predicament Bondage, Edging, Begging, Tie and Tease, much fluffier than you might expect, Couples, Loving Smut, Top Tony Stark, Bottom Pepper Potts, (at least for this playtime hehe), Enthusiastic Consentacles, (appearances notwithstanding) Summary: A stealthy intruder gets caught up in a reclusive genius’ kinky security system and is left hanging. Literally. Word Count: 4381

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Title: itchy fingers Collaborator: feignedsobriquet Card Number: 4039 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S1 - Enemies and Lovers Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: art of hands

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Title: Authenticity Collaborator: deehellcat Card Number: 4028 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R1 - mission sex Ship: Tony/unspecified partner Rating: Teen Major Tags: AU—spies, who’s the other party? Choose Your Own Ship, Mission Sex, Simulated Sex, Fake Dating, Inappropriate Arousal, Dialogue Only, SHIELD Agent Tony Stark Summary: Two agents reluctantly paired for a joint mission discover they are being surveilled, and decide to put on a show to maintain their cover…but is it just a show, or will true feelings be revealed? Word Count: 800

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Title: ThunderIron Love Languages Collaborator: startrekkingaroundasgard Card Number: 4048 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T4 - Thor Ship: ThunderIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: love languages, gifset Summary: Gif set showing the different love languages of Tony and Thor

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Title: The Wilds of New Atacama Collaborator: 27dragons Card Number: 4027 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 - AU: Dragon Rider Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: Crack, you have been warned, AU: Science Fiction, AU: Dragon Rider, this ain’t no pern Summary: Tony stood up in the saddle to let his gaze slide over the fluffy backs of the herd, counting idly. All present and accounted for, he settled back into his seat and patted JARVIS’ neck. JARVIS rumbled at him affectionately, and Tony made a mental note to round up an extra treat or two, when they made it back to camp. Word Count: 636

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Title: untitled Collaborator: startrekkingaroundasgard Card Number: 4048 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S3 - Scott Lang Ship: Tony & Scott Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard Summary: Tony and Scott are forced to work together and neither is happy about it.

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Title: Challenging the Status Quo Collaborator: Politzania Card Number: 4007 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S4 - Sanctum Sanctorum Ship: Gen Rating: IronStrange Major Tags: Established Relationship, the Sanctum is Sentient Summary: Stephen brings Tony to the Sanctum for the first time. Word Count: 692

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Title: what i know about you (would fill a thousand books) Collaborator: iam93percentstardust Card Number: 4012 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S4 - Sharon Carter Ship: Carter-Stark Cousins, Stony, Natsharon Rating: Gen Major Tags: Established Relationship, Past Abuse, Insomnia Summary: Here is what Tony knows about Sharon: she tells people she likes blueberry muffins because she thinks it makes her sound grown up, but she prefers chocolate donuts. She likes wildflowers and lilies and violets, but Queen Anne’s lace best of all and that’s what Natasha had brought her for their third date that had tipped her from liking this red-headed spy into loving her. On bad days, she curls up on the couch with the softest blanket she owns and watches old cartoons. Here is what Sharon knows about Tony: he used to love carrot cake but hasn’t touched it since the day his parents died while he and Sharon were out at dinner. He insists on always having her burner phone’s number when she’s a mission because the one time Fury told him he couldn’t have it, Sharon ended up with three broken ribs. He hates roses because they were what Tiberius always gave him after he did something like cheating on Tony or hitting him or mocking him in front of the press (Steve gives him blue poppies the same shade as the arc reactor and Sharon loves him for that). Word Count: 2284

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Title: DUM-E's Drawings - Chapter 14: TON-E be my Valentine? Collaborator: LBibliophile Card Number: 4090 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A1 - use of symbolism Ship: Tony & DUM-E Rating: Gen Major Tags: Bot feels, Valentine’s card, arc reactor Summary: Dum-e knows that hearts are a key theme of Valentine’s day design, so that’s what he draws. But right.

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Title: Safety Reset Collaborator: 27dragons Card Number: 4027 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Psychological Torture Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Established Relationship, post-battle angst, Insomnia, Guilt, Snuggles Summary: Bucky and Tony have both been fighting their brains a little too long. It’s time for a reset. Word Count: 834

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Title: Purr In Your Pocket Collaborator: rebelmeg Card Number: 4034 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - Image of Silver Fox Tony Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: pets, Tony collects cats, Pepper is exasperated and very fond, Tony's happy retirement Summary: Tony has attempted to smuggle another forbidden item into his menagerie. Pepper is not fooled, but darn it if her husband isn't really cute when he's doing something he shouldn't. Word Count: 1310

#tonystarkbingomarkiv #tsbmiv #tsb miv weekly roundup #tsb miv week 18

[edenstorm]

Guess I’ll put this out there since the game’s been out for a few weeks.

Honestly? I don’t see DV lasting long as a site. At least not as it is now.

This is just reiterating a lot of sentiments I’ve seen elsewhere, but... I see it going the way of Aywas, Sylestia, FV, and sites like that. After the launch hype dies down (in 3-6mo) there’ll be... maybe a couple hundred people tops online at a time.

Why? Well I mean. I’m not sure exactly how much content DV has at present and how much they plan to release in the next couple months, but unless that amount is much higher than I suspect it is (one, maybe two towns past the obvious underwater place no one’s gotten to yet) there just isn’t enough content to keep people around. Once people start achieving their goals and the actual content of the site runs dry, and later town stuff becomes available to everyone via the speed runners, I suspect the site will start to die. There’s just not enough content to keep people engaged, and the constant grinding to get anywhere past the stat gates gets boring after a while.

As much as I hate to admit it, FR does just have a better formula. The content is user-made, goals are set by individuals, and because of how the breeding/geneing system is, there is *always* new content if you just look for it. It’s almost impossible to run out of things to work towards. Sure, I grew bored of FR, but it wasn’t because of a lack of content. I didn’t quit out of boredom (like I did at the Sylvie’s Mine stat gates during DV’s beta) or frustration with the mechanics/community/staff (as I’m seeing a lot of people do now with the premium gacha) but instead because I just... grew out of it, I guess. Even then, it took me *6+ YEARS* to do so, just because I was never bored or confused on what to do next. There was always new content and 9/10 times I was excited about it.

Dappervolk doesn’t have that going for it. The way I see things going down is a new town added once, maybe twice a year, seasonal events a few times a year, and new premium items once a month. You can collect all the items, all the pets, maybe save up for the really expensive stuff... but beyond that (very limited) set of things to do, what is there? Besides the forums of course, but you can find forums on every other petsite. The community would have to be truly outstanding for it to draw in any number of users on its own merit, imo.

Really, besides a short story and an (inconsistent) art style, what does DV have going for it?

I think the best comparison I can make here is that DV plays like a Pokémon game and FR plays like an MMO, and that’s why one is a success and the other is almost doomed to fail.

Pokémon games have short stories and a limited number of tasks you can complete (of varying difficulty) before you’re just... done. DV only differs in that there’s a forum instead of replayability - you can’t reset your DV account just to play through the story, at least not with any level of ease. They’re limited because they’re meant to be played for a short time before they’re dropped and the next game in the franchise is picked up. This tactic, unfortunately, does not work for a browser game, because there is no next generation of games to buy.

MMORPGs have a story, usually, though by and large it’s optional to the player’s enjoyment of the game. There’s a lot of customization and nearly every character is unique. Everyone has a different playstyle and aesthetic, and new content is released frequently. They don’t want you to put down the game and pick up another, they want to keep selling you things from *this* game, so their goal is to keep you actively engaged. This tactic works well for a browser game, or really any game that aims to stick around for a while.

That, of course, isn’t even touching the fact that DV DARED to add a premium gacha to the site after the backlash that they got during beta, or the fact that the art style they promised isn’t even really what was delivered, or the fact that customs still aren’t open and I haven’t seen anything as far as an ETA on that... but then again, I also haven’t said much about the issues with FR’s management, so fair’s fair I guess.

Anyhow, soapbox rant over. I’m personally enjoying the game thus far, I just suspect it’s not gonna end up staying like that for very long if things keep going the way they are now. I sincerely hope DV gets better because I think the concept is cool and the art has potential (if they’d just go back to the more painterly art style from the beta...) but I’m not gonna hold my breath.

#might set some of this in the suggestions forum later #because i do want to see the site survive and get better #if anyone has other viewpoints or rebuttals or can provide corrections to mistakes I’ve made in the post I’d love to hear them! #dappervolk

[kazosa]

A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - Part 9

Summary: All you wanted was to use your skills in automotive engineering and design to open your own custom car shop. When the rug gets yanked out from under you, one of your regular customers offers you a job that you just can’t resist. Will it stay a mutually beneficial arrangement, or will something unexpected bloom?

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x Reader

Appearances by: Bobby, Donna, OC* Jack, OC Mom, Ryan, Donna 

Chapter Synopsis: The aftermath of John's actions lands back on Dean's shoulders. The stress of the situation and Dean's sneaking around are taking their toll and they finally take a little break to go visit friends in Bemidji

Word count: 5173

Warnings: Bad language. Fluff. Anxiety triggers.

Masterlist

Tags: @31shadesofbrown  @xhannahbananax03  @closetspngirl  @adoptdontshoppets  @parinarain  @babykalika2001  @docharleythegeekqueen  @22sarah08  @flamencodiva @deans-baby-momma  @collette04  @maralisa124  @mml232  @sympathyforluci  @superthingsilike  @collinsstanharbour  @jxnnxbrxwn  @winchest09 @sandlee44  @screechingartisancashbailiff  @theconfusedcat  @perpetualabsurdity  @spnhollis  @squirrelnotsam @cosicas-cuquis @coffee-obsessed-writer  @sorenmarie87  @his-paradox  @geeksareunique @cloverhighfive​ @dancingalone21​

     By the time you caught up to Dean, he was at the airport, fuming. You could see the scowl on his face from 50 yards out. As you got closer to him, you were catching only a few words. You didn’t need to know what he was saying to know he was very angry. You leaned against the Impala door to wait for him.

     “...where you are or what you think you’re going, get the hell back here!”

     The anger he felt was so intense. What the hell gave his father the right to steal and from his own company?! Then he just flew off without repercussions?! He should have known this was how it would end. Dean knew it would, he just wished he had been wrong. A nearby 5 gallon bucket took the brunt of his anger as he kicked it as hard as he could, sending it sailing. He paced on the pavement a few moments longer before walking toward you and the Impala.

     “How long?” was all you asked as you both got in the car. There were still a few police at the hangar as you were getting ready to leave.

     “Before sunrise,” he sighed, knowing what you meant. The Impala came to life with the turn of his wrist, “How the hell did he catch wind? We were so careful. We made sure. No one talked.

     “Someone had to have said something,” you hoped you hadn’t let something slip, but it was hard to tell. In the last few months, John had gotten more and more obstinate. Only small portions of the stolen cash had been returned, less than half. When the DA decided to prosecute, John’s assets had been seized, though, it had only happened the night before. “What did we miss?”

     Somewhere in Kansas City, a small man bustled about his office collecting items to throw into a bag resting on the top of his desk. He stood in front of his bookcase, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the picture frames on the shelves. Pasty skin from too many nighttime stakeouts. Receding hairline, but still, mostly brown. Nose a little too big for his face and his thin lips only accentuated his nose and weak chin. He knew the ladies didn’t look at him. Maybe now things would change. He grabbed the only thing of real value in his office from the shelf and tossed it into the bag. The item made a soft ‘thud’ with a crinkle of paper.

     The man sighed as he took one last look around his office. His fingers grasped the zipper of the bag. His gaze falling on  the contents of the bag and he smiled. Rows and rows of Andrew Jackson’s looked up at him as he pulled the zipper closed. “Thank you, John,” he said into the quiet, “it was a pleasure doing business with you.” He left his office for the last time, got into his old Camry and left, to anywhere but Kansas City. Maybe he would go somewhere with a beach… He pointed his car to the southeast, hoping to never set foot in Kansas again.

     Dean argued with you about eating dinner in the kitchen. He said it was for the convenience of clean up and access to the enormous refrigerator. Since he no longer had the usual options of his favorite takeout establishments, he’d finally begun cooking on his own and had become quite the chef. That night’s meal was a truly spectacular bacon cheeseburger and he’d baked some frozen french fries. However, you’d argued for the War Room table to chow down. Your only points were that it was cool and it lit up. Finding no fault in your argument, you sat at the War Room table, enjoying your delicious meal and talking.

     “Bobby getting on your nerves, yet?” he asked between bites. “He can be aggressive.”

     “Oh...I don’t think so,” you answered. “I find him very charming.” Bobby did have a rigid sense of procedure, you just needed to learn his way before you could improve them or try anything different.

     “Huh. He used to be on my ass from sun up to sun down,” Dean frowned at his fries.

     “Such a nice ass, though.”

     “Damn right,” he winked at you.

     “What do you think he’s doing?” you asked.

     John and his whereabouts had been weighing on both of your minds, whether you talked about it or not.

     Dean was able to follow your jumps in topics, “Probably on an island, drinking some fruity drink with a stupid umbrella in it.” He continued eating.

     “So, is that it? Are we just going to let him get away with it?” you wanted to know.

     “Yup.”

     “Seriously?”

     “Yeah,” he scowled, “he is still my dad, alright? Excuse me if I’m not comfortable hunting down my dad and dragging him through the dirt.”

     You hadn’t meant to push too hard. Dean hadn’t wanted to get vicious with his dad from the beginning, but with him running, it had changed things. It also didn’t make sense that he would be okay with his dad potentially being arrested and serving time, only to let him get away with it now.

     “What aren’t you saying?” you wanted to know. Dean never gave up so quickly unless he had something else in mind.

     “Remember how Sammy was shopping around the business?”

     You nodded.

     “We called up the most interested one to see how they felt about it now,” he explained.

     “And?!”

     “They still want to buy,” he took a swig of his beer. Dean’s expression hadn’t changed. 

     “Why aren’t you happy? Do you not want to sell? What about your dream?” you asked.

     “My dream is to be part of something I can be proud of. Doing this to my dad doesn’t make me proud,” he answered. “When I left the last time, I gave it up and now that I’m back running it, it doesn’t feel right. There’s a lot of people without jobs now. Families without a provider. Say all you want, but my dad took care of his people. No. If I get to have a brewery, it’s going to be on my terms and no dark clouds hanging over us. I want the dream, just not like this. There has to be another way.”

     You were seeing your future slipping away. You’d spent the last two months working with Bobby. Was that all for nothing? Dean sat across from you looking as serious as a heart attack. You wanted to be with him, that was unquestionable. You just wondered if he knew he was selling your dream with the brewery.

     He both loved and hated that he could see every thought and emotion cross her face. She either wouldn’t or couldn’t hide anything from him. Not for the first time, he regretted bringing her into his too often chaotic life.

     “Nothing will touch you,” his voice was soft. She was the most important person in his life and he was going to do everything possible to make her happy and safe. “I promise. The dealership isn’t tied to the brewery. The Family Business is a… I don’t know what you call it, an Umbrella Academy.”

     “Company,” you said more to yourself than him.

     “You will have everything I promised you, I promise,” he said, reaching to take your hand.

     Somehow, just feeling the warm strength of his hand in yours made you feel a little better.

     “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, but we’ll get through it and we can go on that vacation you keep talkin’ about, okay?”

     You needed to take a few deep breaths. It would be okay. Nothing had stopped you before, nothing was going to stop you now. Steeling yourself, you nodded. There were worse things in the world than slightly unstable employment.

     “Okay, I’m with you, whatever happens. I’ve got your back,” your voice wavered, the worry evident in your voice.

     He got up from his spot at the table and pulled you up with him. His arms grasping you into his comforting embrace. One arm squeezed around your shoulders, the other had rubbing your back.

     “What do you say we go to Minnesota next weekend, have some fun with Donna and Ryan?” he suggested.

     He could have said ‘polar plunge’ and you would have agreed. You and he both needed to get away and have a little reset on everything. Just the thought of nothing to do whatsoever had you feeling better about things. It didn’t hurt that the man you loved, and who loved you back, showed you as often as possible.

     “That sounds great,” you agreed. “Then Jack can take Harry for a while and we can catch up. I haven’t heard from them in ages, all of them, actually.” It had been maybe three weeks since you’d last talked to Ryan and even longer for Donna and Jack. You didn’t even know what was happening with them…

     Dean smiled a little as he looked down at you, “Can’t wait.”

     As promised, a week later, you and Dean were on your way to Bemidji. It was the first week of November and the air had finally turned toward more crisp temperatures. Somewhat surprisingly, Dean was letting you drive his precious car. He’d actually asked you to drive. What wasn’t surprising was that Dean was constantly on his phone texting.

     “Who are you texting so much?” you needed to know. It had been bugging you for weeks. Whomever it was, he kept his answers to your questions short and sweet with ‘work’ or ‘some jackhole wanting something.’

     Dean pushed the button to make the screen go black. “Jack,” was all he said.

     “Jack? What did he want?” you didn’t care if you sounded annoyed. Jack was your best buddy, not Dean’s. What the hell? You would let Jack have a piece of your mind if he ever answered your calls or texts, the big jerk.

     “I was telling him we were coming up for a visit and thought we could get together, so I’ve been planning a little party,” he explained.

     “Oh, for the get together?”

     “Yeah,” he was still being vague.

     You gave him some hard side-eye.

     “Since when are you two besties?” you asked.

     “Me ‘n Jack? We’re cool,” he played it off. It was too soon to give up the surprise. “We’re not not friends. He’s cool. We talk.”

     “About what, exactly?” you were so suspicious. As far as you knew, Jack and Dean only talked when you needed him to watch Harry.

     “You, mostly, and how crazy you are,” he braced himself on the swing he saw coming. With a chuckle, he went on, “Donna dumped him.”

     “What? She did?!”

     “Yeah. She didn’t tell you?”

     “No.”

     Donna had been dodging your calls and texting you excuses. It had been more than a little upsetting. Donna had been your friend for far too long to be ghosting you the way she was. At least, it made a little more sense with the news Dean dropped on you.

     “Is Jack okay with that?” you had a slight worry for him. Jack was 100% kind of guy. He was either all-in or didn’t give a shit and, you’d hoped, just a little, that maybe Donna would be the all-in. 

     Dean had accepted long ago that Jack would be in (Y|N)’s life just because of who she was and she would always care about him. Jack was part of her family like Ryan and Donna...but not Chuck, screw that guy.

     “I doubt he’s crying in his pillow, sweetheart, if that’s what you’re getting at. We’re also not that kind of friends,” he grinned.

     He couldn’t wait for the weekend. It had been driving him crazy to keep the secret for so long. Dean knew it was getting to her, that was obvious, so he’d been making sure to give her attention when she needed it. The last thing he wanted was to blow it and ruin everything. He only had to be careful a little longer.

     You were back in Dean’s apartment in Bemidji for only a night and Dean had been acting strange. Stranger than usual. You’d gotten used to him ignoring his phone after seven. You barely noticed his cryptic answers to your questions and how he would leave the room if he did take a call. At first, it made you worry. Dean was quite the catch. Smart, handsome, funny, and with the Family Business, valuable… If he was messing around, he was doing a damned good job of hiding it. Other than the phone calls and texts, nothing unusual. No lipstick on the collar. No perfumes. No loss of affections… He wasn’t cheating, you were almost certain, but he was hiding something.

     That morning, you noticed he seemed nervous and commented as much to him.

     “What? Me? Nervous? No way!” he scoffed, “I’m cool as a cucumber.”

     He definitely was not. You watched as he paced the floor, his arms making big swings as he unclenched his fists and clapped his hands out in front of him.

     “Oh really?” you asked, “Cuz you look so wound up that a loud fart might set you off.”

     He didn’t even smirk.

     “Hey. Let’s go do something this afternoon,” he said. When he saw you perk up, he continued, “We should go somewhere nice.”

     “Like...how nice? Dress pants nice or ball gown nice?”

     Dean shrugged, “Somewhere in the middle?”

     Your mind immediately went to the pale blue, knee-length dress you bought over summer. With all that happened with John, the move, and learning from Bobby, you hadn’t gotten a chance to try it out.

     “...okay,” you answered, still wary of his odd behavior.

     With a quick nod, Dean said, “Cool,” then immediately left without another word or look in your direction.

     A few hours later, Dean text you the time he would come to pick you up. While you were at the apartment, you tried to do a little work and attempted calls to your friends. They were all busy. If they answered, they seemed excited you were in town, but no one could talk. Even Jack dodged you. It would have been nice to talk to someone about how strange your fiance was acting. Focusing on work was almost impossible.

     After a while, you were finally able to set the feelings aside and get into the work groove and work until your alarm sounded telling you to get ready. When you were done getting ready for your day date with Dean, you felt a little like Cinderella. Your dress fit a little tighter than you remembered, but you had been stress eating and attributed the tightness to the eclairs and peanut butter cups. The short sleeves went to just above your elbow. Unsure of what shoes to choose for this mystery date, you decided on black flats since the weather was still nice. With only your hair left to do, you looked at the unruly mess that you’d dealt with all your life. Opening the drawer to your left, you dug in the contents until you found a hair tie with shiny beads. Setting it aside, you ran a brush through your hair until it didn’t snag, then put your hair up in a simple ponytail. Calling it good, you text Dean you were ready and started down to the front door.

     Dean had been with her most of the morning. She already had a lot done. Mostly, she just needed help setting up. She and Christina had moved a lot of the smaller items out of the great room, but Dean was needed for the larger pieces. Once the room was open, the decorating could begin. 

     The first time Dean called Ryan, he’d called her on (Y|N)’s phone. When she’d asked, “What the hell?”, he’d responded with, “I wanted to make sure you’d answer” and quickly had her call him back on his phone. After he’d laid out his idea for her, she wasn’t super excited to jump onboard with him. It was only when he called her back to say he couldn’t find a place that meant something to (Y|N) and him that she finally agreed to help and offered her home for the “get together,” as they’d begun to call it.

     Surprisingly… or maybe not surprising, Dean knew what he wanted for the “get together” and was very helpful with decisions and choosing the appropriate items. Ryan was impressed with how well he knew her best friend and would have made the same choices.

     You descended the stairs anticipating what plans Dean had for you for the day. For a fleeting moment, it had crossed your mind that maybe you’d been duped the entire time. Pushing the door open, the sight of your gorgeous fiance laid all question to rest, for the moment, at least.

    He was just getting out of his car when you saw him. Whatever it was he’d been doing that morning, he’d come back wearing your favorite blue suit. For some reason, he always kept a suit in the trunk with a “go bag.” You supposed it made sense with all of the traveling he’d had to do.

     When he saw you, he was just closing the car door. Dean stopped and flashed his bright smile at you and leaned back against the car, his hands in the pockets of his wool overcoat. You went directly to him, resting your hands on his chest, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. His mouth smiled against yours and you could feel a chuckle rising up in his chest. Enjoying his always radiating heat, you moved your arms around him, inside his jacket.

     Dean put the open ends of his coat around you, his arms holding you close. You loved him and how he made you feel loved in return, just by touching.

     “Do you ever wear a coat?” he asked. His mouth was just above your ear.

     “If I did, I wouldn’t be able to do this,” you answered.

     “C’mon,” he gently pushed you away, then shrugged off his jacket. He held up his coat so you could put it on. Walking you to the passenger side, he opened the car door for you to get in. 

     He just needed to make it to Ryan’s house, then all of the sneaking around could be over. Dean could keep a secret, but he didn’t like having to do it. It was hard. And he hated hiding it from her, especially since she knew everything else that mattered to him.

     Quickly, he got in on his side and the were on the way.

     “Where’ve you been all morning and what’s with the suit?” you asked.

     “Oh, ...we’re just gonna...jump right into it?” he made a small punching movement.

     “Yeah,” you tried to keep your tone playful, “I mean, I’ve been patient. I haven’t nagged you about whatever it is you’ve been hiding from me for months. The texts, the calls, the cryptic answers to my simple questions… You left in your usual at-home clothes and now you’re in a suit. What gives?”

     “It’s a surprise,” he shrugged. He wasn’t close enough yet.

     You gave Dean a hint of side-eye, “Do you remember our agreement?”

     “The one where we help each other and get everything we ever wanted?” he raised his brows at you in question.

You couldn’t be mad at him even if you tried. He did everything he could to make you happy and keep you that way. Usually you saw eye-to-eye on almost everything and rarely argued. If you did argue, it was almost always over food, TV, or movies. Even then, one of you would acquiesce before it got too heated. 

     “I meant the part where we don’t lie to each other,” you said softly.

     It was Dean’s turn to you a look.

     “If I told you what I was planning, it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said. “The surprise,” he continued, drawing out his explanation, “was really hard to keep. Everyone is in on it. All the texts and phone calls? It was all of our friends and family helping me get this ready.”

     Dean made the 2nd to last turn to Ryan’s house. It was then that you noticed you were following a line of cars and how unusual it was to see out in the country around Ryan’s house.

     “Are all of these people going to the get together?” you were at a loss.

     Dean nodded, “This year has been insane. And I know we’ve been through a lot...of shit,” he paused for emphasis, “If we can get through all of that and still want to get married, I call that a win.” He took the turn up Ryan’s long driveway.

     “All the sneaking was for this?”

     He nodded again and parked the car by the front door, just as planned, and got out to open (Y|N)’s door. Dean swung the door wide and held out his hand to help you out of the car. 

     “So, will you?” he’d really thrown her. His heart was beating in his throat waiting for her to answer, “Will you marry me?”

     “Yes,” you said as you got out of his car.

     You were utterly confused as he held your hand. Everyone already knew you were engaged, what was the get together for? He had an odd expression on his face as you walked, side by side with him to the door. He seemed nervous, scared, and excited all at the same time.

     “Today okay with you?” he asked, walking you to the door.

     You sputtered, “It seems like a nice day…” You looked up at the bright fall sky, remarkably clear and blue. “Okay for what?”

     Dean waited patiently as your brain caught up to his. You hadn’t even noticed that you were already inside Ryan and Christina’s formal entry. When you looked around, your first thought was, “What the hell kind of party looks like a wedding?”

     There were flowers everywhere. All of your favorite kinds seemed to be sitting on every available surface. Soft music was playing over the household sound system… your favorite band. It was one you’d discovered with Dean and you couldn’t get enough. It finally hit you and the shock must have registered on your face.

     “You okay? You look like you’re gonna yack,” he observed, “no yacking.”

     “Whu...whu... what about my mom… and… and Bobby and Sam?” you were having a hard time forming a coherent thought.

     “Typical. Always forgettin’ ‘bout the ol’ man,” Jack had appeared.

     “She remembered me, at least,” your mom elbowed Jack. “Dean. Jack. Give us a minute.”

     Dean nodded, “I’ll just… be the one down front.”

     “Not if I get there first,” Jack teased as they left. You lost track of Dean as he disappeared into the crowd of all your friends and family. Jack hadn’t gone far, but he went far enough for you and your mom to talk privately.

     “Dean did it all,” she began. “He mentioned his idea when you guys came to my house last Christmas.”

     “And you’re okay with it?” you couldn’t believe what was happening.

     “Honey, that boy loves you like Jack never did. He tried so hard to make this day perfect for you...if you’re looking for my blessing… you have it,” your mom reassured you. “He obviously makes you happy and anyone can see that you love him, too.”

     Ryan had, somehow, snuck up on you.

     “Hey, lady, we doing this?” she asked. “We can change this to the best, no-special-reason party ever.”

     “Did you do all of this?”

     Ryan scoffed in mock indignation, “Please. Do you really think Impala Guy could pull this spectacular wedding off without me? Come on.”

     Ryan searched your face for some kind of answer and since none came from your mouth, “(Y|N), I know it’s a lot, but Dean is the guy. You knew almost right away. No one ever came close to the way Dean loves you. He helped me pick out all of this and stressed over the little things. The meathead,” she nodded in Jack’s direction, “couldn’t even be bothered to give a shit about you enough to do this. Dean is going to love you and take care of you and be with you every step of the way.”

     Your eyes flashed to Jack.

     “He knows what he did,” Ryan reminded. “Are you in love with Dean?”

     “Yes,” you nodded.

     “Do you want to be with anyone else?”

     “No,” you shook your head.

     “Good,” Ryan handed you a small bouquet of your favorite flowers, “what better day than today? You look fabulous, by they way. I dig the hair tie.”

     Your hands went to your hair.

     “No, leave it,” Ryan said, “it’s good.” She motioned Jack to come over.

     “It was you Dean was texting?” you said to Ryan.

     “Of course, it was me. Don’t be dumb,” she passed it off. “He’s a smitten kitten. You’d think you hung the moon…” Ryan rolled her eyes. The two of you had a long enough history for her to know all of your dirty little secrets.

     “The lass has that affect on us fellas,” Jack oozed charm. Sticking out his elbow to you, he said, “Shall we? The laddie’s damn near pissin’ himself by now.”

     “You were in on this, too?” you asked.

     “Aye. Told ya, you need anything… Figured I outghta be the one to give ye away,” he answered.

     You had deep affection for Jack and you hoped the look you gave him said that. You looked around and didn’t spot your blonde, spitfire of a friend, “Is Donna here?”

     Jack slightly stiffened his posture. “Suspect she is. Can ye nae feel the chill?” he whispered.

     Leave it to Jack to try to lighten the mood. You snickered and gave him a small nudge.

     “Maybe it’s comin’ from yer ma,” he joked more. “Jaysus, the look she gave me would turn a lesser man ta stone.”

     At that remark, you let out a loud ‘ha!” drawing the attention of curious guests.

     “I’m no scairt of much, but yer ma?” he did a full body shiver, “Woman scare the shite out o’ me.”

     “Never look directly at Medusa,” you were giggling.

     “Never have. It’s how I’ve lived so long,” he was chuckling with you.

     After Ryan told you and Jack to get your shit together so she could queue the music, you and he shook off your giggles and settled yourselves. Ryan rolled her eyes again and you recognized the opening strains of Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” beginning to play.

     Jack put his hand over yours and looked down at you. His expression silently asking you, “Ready?” When you nodded, he smiled and began walking you down the aisle and the future he knew Dean would give you.

     You were glad Jack was there. His pace was the only thing keeping you from running forward to Dean. He’d just stopped forward and his eyes locked with yours. You didn’t even see Donna, Jess, Sam, or Bobby… only Dean. No worries. No fears. Only the excitement one feels knowing they are walking to their destiny. Coming to a stop next to Dean, you snapped out of your dreamy daze at the sound of Bobby’s voice.

     “Darlin’, I never thought I’d see this day.”

     His smile warmed you and you realized it was the first time you’d seen him without a hat. He looked so handsome.

     “Oh, Bobby, you got dressed up,” you sighed.

     “Still can’t believe this idjit’s getting married,” he tipped his head toward Dean, “Thought I’d better mark the occasion.”

     In a quick moment, Jack kissed your temple and left you with Dean. From the time you walked in Ryan’s house, you felt like you were on a runaway rollercoaster. When Jack put your hand in Dean’s, you were no longer terrified of running off the rails. You were where you were supposed to be and time finally seemed to slow down enough to where you could concentrate on what was happening. You couldn’t have wished for anything more than what was right next to you.

     You looked over at Dean. He must have felt the exact same as you. Scared and excited at the same time. You’d never thought you’d be so happy and ready to get married and now, it was all you wanted. He squeezed your hand and you smiled at him.

     “Whatdya say we get this show on the road?” Bobby whispered to you both.

     Your eyes were locked with Dean’s, “I am so ready.”

If I could make a wish

I think I'd pass

Can't think of anything I need

No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound

Nothing to eat, no books to read

Making love with you

Has left me peaceful warm and tired

What more could I ask

There's nothing left to be desired

Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak

So sleep, silent angel go to sleep

Epilogue:

     Ryan had managed to catch a moment with Donna while the new bride and groom were getting ready to leave the shindig. Donna, of course, had made the cake and brought her famous donuts. The two best friends of the bride each had a donut and were watching from the front door as they were getting into Dean’s Impala.

     “Welp, I guess we don’t haaaafta kill him,” Donna mused.

     Ryan looked at how (Y|N) and Dean were both beaming, “Yeah, not unless he’s a monster.”

     “Oh yeah, then we’re doin’ it. I got a wood chipper,” Donna added.

     “I know a guy with a hog farm,” Ryan offered.

     The two ladies looked at each other and cheers’d with donuts.

     The wedding had been a flurry of activity and partying that had left the day a blur except for the feeling of finally being Mrs. Dean Winchester. Dean wasn’t done with his surprise, though. The next afternoon, when you’d both recovered from the day before, he slipped you two tickets to paradise. He actually got on an airplane with you and went to your dream vacation location, the Maldives. Clothing, of course, was optional. Two whole weeks in the topics in November couldn’t have been more perfect. Leaving the islands was tough but it had been the much needed break you both had needed so badly. 

     The sale of the brewery began. When it was all said and done, it would take over a year to complete and you and Dean would be free of that ball and chain. Dean stayed busy with running the brewery in the meantime, but he still took time on weekends to look for places to begin his brewery.

     What neither of you had expected, or planned, was another little surprise that came along in May… and you named her Nova Grace Winchester.

#a mutually beneficial arrangement #au dean x you #au dean winchester x reader #Dean Winchester x reader #Dean Winchester x you #spn fan fiction #dean x you #dean x reader

[everygame]

Cinco Paus (iOS)

Developed/Published by: smestorp Released: 12/02/2015 Completed: n/a Completion: 33 games, 632 points. Trophies / Achievements: n/a

So, Cinco Paus, then. It’s a game I’ve resisted playing for ages and ages largely because I wasn’t that into Michael Brough’s previous games (I somewhat liked 868-Hack, but I didn’t find it very compelling somehow?) but we got to a point where Metanet’s Raigan Burns just bought it for me so I decided to give it the old college try.

Cinco Paus is incredible. It’s also frustrating, unfair, probably taking the piss when it comes to time investment, and yet something that I managed to lose more time, more intensely on, than any game I’ve played in ages. Like legitimately losing 14 hours to it within the first three days.

It’s an easily misunderstood game, so I’m going to outline (first of all) that you absolutely should play it, unless you’re easily addicted to rogue-likes, in which case you probably shouldn’t. Basically, it goes like this:

You’re a wizard.

You have five wands that you don’t know the behaviors of; each wand does five things. Your goal is to compete FIFTY sets of five levels, which are five by five, by getting to the exit on each level.

Wands do a variety of things. You learn by shooting them (drag them to your wizard and point them in a direction; you can’t use them directly against a wall.) They don’t tell you what the thing they do is unless they do that thing so you can’t tell if it hurts an enemy unless you hit an enemy. But you also can’t tell if it does something good that requires it not to hit an enemy (the “buried treasure” ability) unless it doesn’t hit an enemy!

All the explanations are in Portuguese, so ignore them and just look them up here.

You can pick up items.

Books teach you one thing one wand does.

Gems. Collect five gems and you can unlock an artifact (you can have five) which do one (powerful) thing.

Keys. Collect five keys, which you can only do via wand shenanigans (there’s one key per level, and that always gets used up to unlock doors) and you can find a secret level (a hidden door on a wall that doesn’t contain an exit/entrance already) which will upgrade an artifact. Each artifact can have five upgrades. They’re extremely good.

Potions. Heal you one point. This is valuable, but if you’re at full health you can ignore or transform these.

Treasure. It’s just points! If you’re going for score, these are high risk because they give you nothing else. Transform ‘em early if you can, I say.

After a set of five levels, everything resets except for your gems, keys, score and artifacts. So you “keep” some progress.

If you die: you lose everything and start again.

Oh, and every set of five levels is basically the same; the layouts are close to random, but the selection of enemies you face are consistent; level 3 in your fiftieth game will have the same possible enemy selection as it would have in your first game (recounted in this excellent guide).

You die if you lose your hitpoints; you will generally die because an enemy hit you.

Enemies move after you do, semi-randomly.

If you walk into a space next to them, they will hit you. Do not do this! Make sure they move next to you, and hit them.

There are shrimp, lizards, toads and roosters. You don’t want to slug it out with the toads and roosters.

There are also Ghosts, who are weird; they will hit you if you move next to them, but if you are next to them and you move towards them, they’ll move away. That means you can’t kill them without a wand, but is also means that you can move and not get hit by them even if you think you’re trapped!

That’s… a lot. So you might be asking, what the hell am I doing?

Try and learn as much about the wands as soon as possible each run. If you can, track all the big things a wand can do (did it hit a wall, an enemy, etc).

Don’t get hit, and especially never ever get cornered (two enemies next to you) unless you have a big power that will pay off and kill them. On the first level, if you’re deep in a multi-game run, carefully slug it out with lizards if you would otherwise have to fire at point blank range. There are too many ways for things to go wrong on that first level and taking a couple of hits is more survivable than turning a lizard into a rooster, and then having the beam bounce off corners and duplicate it several times (and then teleport you in the center of them. Which could happen.)

Do whatever you can to get as many gems as early as possible; if you can dupe them, do so. If you can use transform on books/potions/treasure to try and get a gem, do it. 

Do whatever you can to get as many extra keys. Upgraded artifacts are so important.

Above all: survive. If you’re fucking up a level, just do whatever to get to the exit. Don’t get greedy. There’s always the next level, or at worst the next set.

Right. So that reads as insanely complicated, I think, but the beauty of Cinco Paus is that it’s actually extremely simple. While there’s a lot of things a wand can do, the things you can do are limited, so the play-space is always extremely understandable (the map is always 5x5; you know you’re getting a particular set of enemies next time, etc.) It’s actually extremely elegant.

The thing about Cinco Paus is that it’s the closest I think I’ve come to truly seeing genius at play in game design. Like, ok, maybe that sounds absurd, but I mean like when you think about a piece of art or music where you think “oh, I could do that” and you probably could, but it’s the idiosyncrasies of the artist that make it something far more interesting and unique and you sort of second guess any critique of that.

I mean listen. This game looks like shit. Just shit. It’s disgusting to look at. I hate it. But maybe that’s totally still necessary to what it is. And I honestly think the decision to make all the text in Portuguese is… problematic? I know it came from a genuine interest in using the language (Brough is, or was, learning it) but that it’s used to make the game more mysterious and alien (for everyone except people who can speak, as he admits, the sixth most spoken language in the world) is kinda… I just don’t think it’s good. 

And the thing is, for me it doesn’t add anything. This game could, I think, look crazy polished and feature some brilliant UI and be in English; like it could track all the things you’ve learned in a big database; fuck it could even cross off all the things you’ve tried. The game would still be extremely challenging, and if anything, more enjoyable as a puzzle.

But… would that actually be better? I’m not sure. I really can’t tell, because it’s a bit like saying Van Gogh should have just drawn normally.

So, you know, here’s to the iconoclasts. Fuck knows I’d probably have been a better games journalist if I didn’t put my best writing in a printed zine, you know? I still did it the way I wanted to.

I suppose the question might be though: why have I stopped playing? Well, I died frustratingly in the middle of my greatest run ever as it turns out Roosters had unlocked a way to warp me three runs ago and, despite being well prepared, I was warped by one where I was surrounded and literally couldn’t survive (some people might quibble.) I didn’t feel any rage, I felt pretty proud of getting that far, but the idea of starting the grind again made me really bored.

You see, in order to get to the point where Cinco Paus is really fun, you have to put up with the “starting grind” where with no artifacts yet you have to play loads of times trying to get a good start and get a few artifacts going. That’s potentially hundreds of games, and after bumping up against that for a few days I just said fuck it.

I know, you can’t question genius by my own parameters here, but I think about a similar genius (uh, actually not similar) Jeff Minter, and how he came up with that genius “high score save” where it just saved the game at your highest score each level and you could restart there. You could always restart too. Here I wish I could just pick a random artifact or two and start at level 5 or 10 with less score, even. Because it’s the getting of those that are the ball-ache when you’re so weak and shitey.

But look. It’s probably good. I kicked my habit. But I’m glad I played it. I’m better for it. I’m still not watching the Wire though.

Will I ever play it again? Maybe if he updates it, which I think has been rumoured. I’m taking a big break from Brough but I’ll be back for Imbrouglio though. Actually excited.

Final Thought: There’s no daily seed here, which might have kept me playing, but I realize that he can’t really do that because one person could just tell you what’s coming, plus doing fifty levels is, what… 8 hours or something? It’s wild that I want a game where everything is so restricted to five of anything still maybe streamlined a bit more. But as I said, what do I know? I’m not a genius.

#cinco paus #games #gaming #video games #smestorp #michael brough #ios #text #txt #review #game guide #guide #faq #iphone #ipad

[stuck-in-jelly]

How do the different mob psycho characters play animal crossing?

Ooooooo this is gonna be a great one but fair warning this is technically my first time playing animal crossing (and it’s cause im living with my friend who owns it sjkfjdskfjk) so I dont have a lot of personal knowledge but here we gO

Reigen 

His adult instincts kicked in as soon as Tom told him how much he had to pay and he obsessively spends the whole game trying to pay him off, he sells everything but makes nothing. He gets a tree branch? He’s selling that motherfucker he got a loan to pay off. He also initially hated Tom Nook but after discovering his backstory cried and now has Tom Nook merch

Mob 

He’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit. Mob doesn't really care or notice when things are a rare find but he often gets them, and he doesn't mind any of the villagers or what fruit he gets. One time Ritsu when to his town and saw that he only had pear trees and the oddest of villagers but was too nice to say anything 

Ritsu 

He’s a competitive player, he time travels, grinds, and hunts for rare items he’s even been guilty of paying to get  certain eviller in his town. When Ritsu plays its complete the whole town and make it perfect. He’s the kind of player who stood outside of Blathers unfinished museum with 60 fish 90 bugs and 100 fossils all laid out ready for the son of a bitch to open up 

Teru 

Teru just wants to be the most popular one, only cute and cool villagers are allowed in his town and he will dedicate his time to writing letters and sending gifts to them. His town also needs to follow a certain aesthetic that he has specifically chosen. He also goes to other players island to steal flowers and other plants. He’s the player who will reset the game over and over again until his villagers are cute god damn it. 

Shou 

He literally cares about nothing but making a community everyone must be friends, he attends every celebration every work shop, every event in general and he cries when any of his villagers wants to move out but most of the time he’s making custom designs for clothes and stuff, some people even ask to commission him since his designs are pretty damn good 

Serizawa  

Serizawa knows all the hacks all the tips and all the tricks, he doesn't even need to time travel to have a better town than you and he’s only using 1% of his power. But he does use his power to make his home nice, he’s mostly focused on interior design and getting all the furniture and wall paper and floorboards, he likes to plant flowers around the town as well. The man just wants a nice home

Tome 

Her village is a mess, her front yard is full of clutter she just drops everything on the ground and hoards it like a beast she doesn't even put it in her storage inside her house. She hardly talks to the villagers cause she’s too busy trying to collect every creature in the book she wants all the bugs and all the fishes and literally nothing else, she likes blathers for this reason but also hesitates to give him certain ones if she only has one (she also wants Brewster back)   

So yeah! I wasnt too sure who else to add but this is my take 

#jelly answers

[ink-flavored]

Writeblr Q+A

Tagged by @silver-wields-a-pen !! Thank you <3

Rules: Fill it out, post your answers, and tag some pals.

1. When did you first learn you enjoyed writing?

Well, I’ve known I enjoyed reading pretty much ever since I could comprehend words. Before I even really knew what I was doing, I would tell myself and my younger sister stories, and write down my day in a journal to have stories to read later. 

My first experience with creative writing was in middle school, when we were asked to write poems every day for our poetry unit. That’s when I remember actually enjoying the act of writing for writing’s sake, but you could count my 6 year old ramblings too, if you wanted!

2. Tell us about the first project you ever wrote.

The first one I remember, not sure if it was actually the first one I ever wrote, was about a girl who had a wereworlf-esque ability to turn into a dragon. It was pretty much my dream. It still is.

3. How does your favorite media shape who you are as a writer?

To this day, my favorite book series -- The Inheritance Cycle -- has influenced the way I write magic systems, telepathic connections, my penchant for fantasy, and is absolutely where my love of dragons came from. I’m not sure where I would be without The Inheritance Cycle, truly.  

But it’s not the only one! Reading House of Leaves was a fascinating dive into a genre I don’t normally read, and it really showed me that horror wasn’t just about gore and monsters (which is why I normally stay away). Playing the Dragon Age games showed me just how much you can do with characters. Probably some more I can’t think of have influenced me as well.

4. What's something you've wanted to write, but aren't sure you could? (A tv show, a genre, a style, a time period, a video game, etc)

I’d like to finish the game I started writing, one day. Maybe write some more.

I’ve dipped my toes into horror a little bit, but I know I’m not at all experienced enough to write a narrative in the genre. The problem is that I’m a giant wimp who doesn’t like being scared and also I’m squeamish. So that rules out a giant chunk of horror content for me to study lol

5. What is the thing that keeps you from writing the most?

Myself, for sure. Whether it be writer’s block, getting stuck in the fine details that don’t matter, or simply not having a plot to go with the story I want to write the most. 

That, and having to work a nine-to-five. I suffer at the hands of capitalism. 

6. How do you deal with an inner editor?

I don’t, really? I’m one of those people who’s half-editing as they write, though I’ve been trying to curb it lately. I’ve gotten over myself recently, not really caring what any of it says until I actually have to be editing. I just focus on having fun!

7. How long have you been writing?

Uhhhh... good question.

For Real Actually, probably since that middle school English class from earlier. Maybe “officially” the next year, but definitely around that time is when I decided I really loved writing and wanted to do it for a living.

8. What is your general writing process? Do you write chronologically? Do you do a lot of planning?

Pfft. Process, that’s cute.

I kinda do whatever? Stories come to me in all manners and in all forms -- just aesthetics, just a plot, just a character, just a single scene or line of poetry. I do as much planning as my brain allows, but I do like to have a skeleton outline of the main story beats before I actually sit down to start writing anything.

I absolutely love world-building tho. I do that so much.

9. Assign a scent to your writing style.

Oh, but that depends so much on WHAT I’m writing!!!!

But if I must choose... a scented candle in an abandoned house, covered in dust and falling to ruin. Comfort in a place where comfort should not be. 

10. One book you hope everyone reads?

Lately, I’ve been re-discovering Eavan Boland’s poetry, and I’m currently reading her most recent collection. I’d recommend anyone who wants to write poetry -- or even just likes poetry! -- to read anything by her. 

11. What is it about your least favorite genre that makes it your least favorite--and how might you change that to better appeal to you?

You know how they say hate and love are two sides of the same coin? There’s a difference between a genre boring me and a genre inspiring enough passion to incite hatred. That difference, reader, is wanting it to be better.

I used to think horror was the worst genre on the planet (anxiety and panic disorder notwithstanding) even though a lot of the genre has things I should like -- putting characters through trials to reveal their true selves, stories that make you think about yourself and the world, all that stuff. I hated it because, from what I saw in popular media, it focused too much on gore and was more concerned with being a scary story than an interesting story -- which has its merits! It just wasn’t what I was looking for.

Stuff like House of Leaves and Welcome to Night Vale really showed me exactly the kind of horror I like. Which is, little to no gore and scares that settle deep. There is so much about both that I think about to this day, episodes I haven’t listened to in months or years. House of Leaves is a story about the protagonist descending to madness and you get to watch it in real time -- knowing it could easily be you. I like horror that reminds us we’re all human, and that being a human is very, very scary on its own. 

So, more horror needs to be like that. 

12. Design a "collector's edition" for your first novel. Include items that might be of interest to your audience.

MAP. BIG HUUUUGE MAP. I love maps. It’s gotta have a big map poster in FULL COLOR, BABEY!!!!

13. If one thing was real from your project, what would you want it to be?

Dragons. You have no idea how much I want dragons to be real.

14. What's something you always include in your work? Do you have any other Easter eggs?

I like magic, I like dragons, and both of those show up an uncanny number of times in what I write. 

15. What is your favorite passage from your own work?

Jeez, that’s a tough one. I write so much stuff! But something I am very proud of is from a flash fiction called One Minute:

You cannot move, or the minute will reset. If you move, you will have to keep sitting. You will have to start over. The creature will surely kill you. If you move. The minute. Will. Reset. If you move. You. Will. Die.

It has been forty-five seconds.

You can’t see the creature, but you know that it’s big. It blocks the light behind you, casting a massive, dark, endless shadow. It is darker than a shadow should be. Darker than the night sky. Darker than the blackness behind your eyes.

You pray to God. You pray to any God.

It has been forty-nine seconds.

I like to read it out loud!! It sounds nice to say imo

Aaaaand, that’ll be it!

Tagging (no pressure!): @royalbounties @rrrawrf-writes @rainy-rose @blueinkblot​ @sunrisecitrusuniverse @tenacious-scripturient and anyone else who wants to do this!! Consider yourselves tagged!

#annika talks #ask game #long post