#i almost died so many times i almost stopped believing i even can die and i put all my faith in you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cowboahs · 2 years

Text

quotes that broke me starters

feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.

❛ i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one. ❜

❛ if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places. ❜

❛ no one heard our screams for a long time. ❜

❛ i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers. ❜

❛ there is a home for every departed thing. ❜

❛ it reminded me that i will never truly know you. ❜

❛ i also buried a part of myself alongside them. ❜

❛ after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral. ❜

❛ you don’t have to be awake to cry. ❜

❛ forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do. ❜

❛ the human eye is the loneliest creation of all. ❜

❛ fairness is for happy people. ❜

❛ the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed. ❜

❛ perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone. ❜

❛ you stain the pages with yourself. ❜

❛ tears will not wash away the sorrow. ❜

❛ beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off. ❜

❛ who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? ❜

❛ i have scars on my hands from touching certain people ❜

❛ despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart. ❜

❛ you tried to change, didn't you? ❜

❛ you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that. ❜

❛ i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them. ❜

❛ we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace. ❜

❛ i didn't leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself. ❜

❛ at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss. ❜

❛ there are too many sad eyes on happy faces. ❜

❛ it's strange, i felt less lonely when i didn't know you. ❜

❛ things change, friends leave. life doesn't stop for anybody. ❜

❛ it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all. ❜

❛ i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short. ❜

❛ i felt your absence. ❜

❛ what do we do now, now that we are happy? ❜

❛ you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you? ❜

❛ don't stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him. ❜

❛ i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning. ❜

❛ i dont have a single friend - not one. ❜

❛ i've had more than enough pain in my life, what's a little more going to do? ❜

❛ it would have been you if i met you first. ❜

❛ i really thought he was going to be my forever. ❜

❛ maybe in the next life it would work. ❜

❛ in spite of everything, you're still you. ❜

❛ the dead have it easy. ❜

❛ there's an ocean of silence between us, and I'm drowning. ❜

❛ there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead. ❜

❛ what on earth... have i become? ❜

❛ don’t look at me! i don’t ... i don’t want you seeing me like this. ❜

❛ i wish i could’ve been like you. ❜

❛ your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood. ❜

❛ the future should know the mistakes we made. ❜

❛ of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption. ❜

❛ i'm here because you can't accept what you've done. it broke you. ❜

❛ even now, after all you've done, you can still go home. lucky you . ❜

❛ you're all that's left, and we can't live this lie forever. ❜

❛ prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation. ❜

❛ take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. ❜

❛ i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day. ❜

❛ don't let yourself get killed for... for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk. ❜

❛ you and me, we ain't decent... but those folk... they were. ❜

❛ we're more ghosts than people. ❜

❛ despite my best efforts to the contrary... it turns out i've won. ❜

❛ i gave you all i had ... i did. ❜

❛ this whole time, I've blamed myself for that decision. ❜

❛ do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜

❛ i don't want to break their hearts all over again. it's better if they never see me. ❜

❛ please leave me alone. i can't come back. i just ... can't, okay? ❜

❛ no matter the struggles or hardships you faced... you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜

❛ people like you don't ever want to be happy. ❜

❛ i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet. ❜

#rp meme #sentence starters #rp sentence starters #angst meme #angst rp meme #angst starters #angst sentence starters #honestly the undertale ones still hit hard even after only one play of the game when it came out #MISS ME with the resetting everything and taking peoples happy ending away from them

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bahrtofane · 2 months

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here we go again - pt.2

pt.1, pt.3

jude x fem!reader , trent x fem!reader

empty promise after another leaves you walking in the cold. alone. on valentines day. youre never speaking to another player again. but, a familair face is here to save the day

word count - 2.2k+

watch it - jude is still an ass sorrehhh. angsy angst and more angst ! ur welcome

-----

You don't know where the hell you are, what time it is. A few more minutes you're going to forget your own name and start screaming to feel something other than misery. So much for the holiday of love. You are feeling so much love you could jump out of a plane. With no parachute. And land on a pile of rocks.

You kick a trash can out of frustration and groan at the impact it gives your poor exposed and suffering toes.

You can not believe the events of today. Everything keeps replaying over and over like a broken projector. The fact that he got you to dress up in your favorite special occasion floor length dress just to have it drag across the grimy dirty fucking disgusting club floor. Oh god you want him dead.

You're deep into Birmingham nightlife by the time your senses come back to you enough to fish your phone out of your bag. The bag is a birthday gift from your mother of all people forced to be seen among that bunch of people,it makes you seeth.

You should have known taking you to Birmingham wasn't a good idea. It made no sense in your head, why fly from Madrid to god damn Birmingham. You both live and work in Madrid? Your sweet naive mind thought he came up with something unique, something sweet.

You groan the second your phone turns on. One too many notifications to keep up with and by the looks of it they aren't stopping anytime soon. Twitter is blowing up, you already know what it is. A bunch of low quality pixels of you entering with him and looking lost with a bunch of tacky headlines. You'll get that settled when you get home. You go to order an uber, but your phone manages to die on you miraculously. How lucky. All the times you spent trying to get a hold of Jude really drained the battery. You clench your jaw.

Good god. You shove your phone back in your purse and keep stomping through birmingham. Shivering with each step. You didn't bring a jacket, how foolish.

You try to follow streets you think you know, but it's not going very well. There aren't very many people this far out. Leave it to fucking Jude to take you to the worlds more obscure club location. It's been about an hour since you left him at the club you think. An hour of walking through alley ways and neighborhoods that only raise the hair on the back of your neck. He couldn't even get you a ride home?

You think the last person you saw was a nurse chucking coffee at a bus station, the bus that you tried to catch but it sped away faster than your aching legs could take you. Better night than yours you're sure. You wander about trying to find at least a store open to be able to call for a taxi.

You hear the crunch of slowing tires come up behind you, and you instantly quicken up your pace. You almost swear you hear your name shouted, but you don't stop. The second time, it's a little too clear to be mistaken for anyone else's name as the car comes to a crawl side by side to you.

You turn on your heel harshly, “why in god's name-“ your voice dies the moment you recognize the familiar car model, and its driver. Trent. Oh.

“Get in the car." he dead pans, windows rolled at the way down, door already unlocked for you.

You wrinkle your nose, “I don't want to talk trent."

The very last thing you need is that sorry excuse of a man to send his friend of all people to run after you and do his bidding where he fell short just hours before. This is so embarrassing it only makes you wish his car would explode. And then drive it into the club. While it's on fire.

“I'm not letting you roam around these parts at this time, just get in." he sighs.

You scowl, "he’s low for sending you to change my mind, after this whole fucking night why cant you leave me alone."

He gives you a look, “this has nothing to do with him, this is me. Worried for you. “

“Fuck off." you spit.

“You’re so hard headed, just get in the damn car before someone robs you. Or worse."

"How'd you even know I was here?" you squint at him.

he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "i still have your location from when i picked you up for his birthday. And I heard about everything from just about everyone. "

"You have nothing else to do on valentines day?" you jab.

He stays silent, hands wringing the steering wheel. You notice he's in what looks like pjs, Liverpool jacket thrown on top. He drove all this way for you?

You swallow your pride for a moment, hiking up your dress while you duck inside the car. Sighing in relief as the pressure is taken off your aching legs. Snapping your seatbelt over you, swinging your purse over your head and gently setting it on your lap, wiping away the tears that blur your vision.

Your rage has turned into a simmer for now. The main goal at the moment is to just get out of these clothes and sleep till you forget what year it is.

Trent is quiet while he lets you get comfortable, rolling up his windows backup and locking the doors. You've never sat passenger in his car before. Hell you haven't seen him in months.

“Did he touch you." he asks, turning the heater on higher.

You put your hand out in front of where the hot air blows oh so nice on your frozen hands,“What?”

“You have a bruise on the back of your arm. Did he do that? “

“No.” you sigh.

he turns to face you, brows furrowed,“i need to know if he did. “

“He didn’t trent, i'm alright.'' your voice softens.

he nods, hands resting on the wheel,“where do you need to go? “

“Just take me to my hotel please."

He nods, handing you his phones to put the directions in. You watch as he takes the car out of park, making a u turn and heading out of whatever bizarre neighborhood you're in, back into the city. And soon the freeway. Birmingham flashes by you and you try to forget the man that sits like a heavy weight in your mind.

You still wonder why Trent would make the trip all the way out just to pick you up. especially if Jude wasn't involved. You're somewhat close you suppose. The kind where you would call him a friend in a group setting, but not much more. You've spent only a couple of times truly alone. You don't know if you're that close.

Trent has always been somewhat of a mystery to you. Few appearances and even fewer words. Jude had told you once he was shy, just taking a minute to warm up to new people. He has a habit of staring off into nothing you noticed at Judes birthday party. Always quick to snap out of it the moment eyes were on him. Oh so different from the way he plays. You've seen him now and again in highlights and clips posted on instagram. He's good, but man is he aggressive. You expect it for a defender but the man gets up in everyones space on the pitch.

A complete 180 from the way he can barely look you in the eye now. What is he thinking?

You don't let your curiosity blind you from being at least a little courteous.

“Thank you, " you mumble, playing with the fabric of your dress, "and sorry for being a bitch.“

“Hey I don’t blame you.” he shrugs.

You hum and leave it at that. You'll put unraveling Trent on the to do list.

Your hotel comes into view and you thank him again for the kindness, promising to make it up to him some day. He waves you off, seeing till you're inside to leave.

Your mind is so blurred you can barely stand anymore, every step only throws you off balance. You need your bed. Asap. Or you will fall over and die.

The hotel's heating is a welcome treat as you beeline for the elevator. The staff give you a strange look but you do NOT. have the time for any of that. Right now all you care about is getting in bed. Can this elevator hurry up? It finally comes and you lean against the metal walls when you step inside, sliding your purse lazily over you.

You all but tear your clothes off the second you make it inside your room, in a rush, wiping your makeup off while you undo your shoes, hobbling around with one foot while you dig for your pajamas. You end the night with a trip to the bathroom. Skipping on your usual night routine and just settling for a quick shower and brush of the teeth.

Hotel covers have never felt better, warmer, safer.

In the quiet of the room and the hum of the ac, you can't but let your thoughts consume you. Can't help but circle back to him. Why?

Why weren't you enough? Why did it have to end in fucking flames on whats supposed to be the most romantic love filled day of the year.

You think back of every moment and piece of you shared with Jude. You remember the first time you kissed you, under the stands at his first madrid home game, clutching onto his jersey like a lifeline. He looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered. Gently holding your hand all the way back inside the building. Mumbling confessions and making you smile with every cheesy pick up line.

That jude is gone now, instead replaced by the man who you have to fight for even a second with. But are expected to drop all for. A selfish bitter man.

It doesn't matter anymore. It's over, you can rest now and deal with the inevitable fall out as it comes. You know you're more than enough, but with the way you let yourself be treated it's hard to let yourself believe that.

Never again though. From now, you're swearing off footballers.

—--

You wake up as early as you can manage, getting all your things together and booking a flight out of here as soon as possible. You need to get back to madrid.

Your headache is massive as you shove the last of your things in your suitcase. You can't believe you took days off for this. Nonetheless, you need to get back. You have a team to get back to and plenty of work to get done. Real Madrid's creative department never rests does it.

Your phone has a slew of missed calls, mainly from Jude but you see a few from Trent, rather recent ones. You give him a call back but it all goes to voicemail.

The key card jams while you're locking it for the last time, it takes a hit from your hand to get the scanner working but you make it out in one piece. Smoothing your clothes down and making your way to the lobby. Sitting down for a few minutes while you confirm your flight details and triple check that you haven't forgotten anything. You hear your name and are greeted again by Trent, who's all but spriting to you. It's a little early for him to be here now isn't it.

“Can I help you ?”

“I'm sorry I tried calling and I couldn't answer when you called. Judes outside waiting for you. he-“

So last night really was all just a ploy from Judes end? You try to get up and far far away from him, but he stands in front of you.

“Listen. He told me to come and get you out there so you can talk to him and to not tell you. But obviously, I'm not. i’ll tell him you're not here yeah? Take care.”

Trent doesn't leave you with anything else, leaving in the other direction. You take this as a sign to leave while you can, grabbing one of the many taxis outside to the airport.

—--

Trent gives Jude a scowl, “She's not there Jude, give it up. “

“I can't just lose her. “ Jude sighs, furiously typing on his phone.

Trent rolls his yees, patience wearing thin,“You’re fucked in the head you know that? After all you’ve done to her, you still want her to come running back?”

Silence.

“I care about you Jude I really do. But you left her walking around at 3 am with a dead phone in the middle of alleyways dude. That's not okay. “

—--

The airport has never felt lonelier, but you swallow the lump in your throat, boarding your flight home and trying to forget the man that you've come to associate it with. Madrid will be a hard place to move on in, when its walls shine with its star boy. Its halls all but cheering his name. Every corner you're bound to be reminded of him. You can do it, one way or another you won't let yourself be miserable.

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theship-thewalrus · 1 year

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can i request the alternate ending to this fic

considering in my thoughts after reader died i don't think aegon will even let rhaenyra touch a strand of the baby and im also want to see jace and luke reaction jejdjejejj

Hi anons! I put both of these together, hope you don't mind! I must say I love some sadness. Hope its what you are looking for :)

aegon ii targaryen x niece! wife! reader

pretty much the ask

word count: 1034 words reading time: about 6 minutes warnings: death, le sadness

Part 1 || Part 2 || Ending 1 || Ending 3 || Ending 4 || Headcanon 1 || Headcanon 2

The hurried footsteps of the small group echoed through the hall. Unlike before it was deathly silent, no more did your screams bounce off the walls, your voice was no longer heard and it was as though the world stopped moving. Not hearing you anymore made Aegon speed up, jogging past Rhaenyra and her sons.

The doors were thrown over with little regard to whoever may be close to them. Aegon's eyes roam around the room before they finally land on his wife. The first thing he noticed was the dark red blood that covered the white of the sheets. His mother's sobs filled his ears next, his eyes drifting to the side of the bed where her face was covered by her hands. But it was clear she was crying by how her body moved with each cry. He then registered how pale you were, almost the color of the sheet.

No words were uttered for him to understand what happened. The maesters had failed you, they allowed you to die. The man flew to your side, hands clutching yours as though his will alone would bring you back. But you were cold to the touch, your usual warmth had left you. Tears began to well up in his eyes as his brain began to realise what happened. "no...no, no, no, no," the words poured out of his mouth like a string of prays.

When Rhaenrya saw the scene in front of her she broke, tears welled up in her eyes but they did not fall. Her fists clenched by her side as she takes in the two cryings next to you. Her sweet child, her little girl, was gone. She remembered the day you were born, how she held you in her arms as you wailed. How she swore to protect you from all the worries and pressures of the world. Yet she had failed you, her only daughter. You died thinking she hated you, that you no longer held a place in her heart. All because she was too stubborn to speak to you.

Jacaerys was beside himself with grief, like his mother he had not spoken to you since arriving. He believed you slighted them in some way, siding with his mother instead of his little sister. He should have not cared about this stupid rivalry, you were his sister above all else. He felt like he failed you. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unlike his mother, he held no reservations about crying in front of these people. He would come up beside Alicent, not wanting to get caught up in Aegon's grief.

Similarly to his older brother, Lucerys was distraught. He stood there frozen in place, simply looking at your pale and bloodied body. Despite being so young the boy had witnessed so much death, yet it never got easier. Especially when he gazed at his sister, only adding to the bodies.

Alicent lifted her head from her hands to see Jacaerys standing there. The woman sniffled softly, standing up from her stead before moving over to the other side where her son sat. Jacaerys took Alicent's seat, grabbing onto his sister's cold and limp hand. A delicate hand began to rub Aegon's back, trying her best to comfort her distraught and broken son.

A high-pitched wail took everyone's attention away from the bed for a moment. The door opens and shows a timid and frightened maid holding a newborn child. It had been washed and wrapped up in a blanket, the maid trying her best to calm it. The Maester instructed her to show the child to the Queen and its father, but there was no indication that so many people would be there. The little boy in her arms was crying his heart out, little face contorted and fists balled up. Whisps of white hair adored his little head, the hair was still slightly damp.

Rhaenyra was the closest to the maid and the first person to move. Wanting to see her grandson, to hold him in her arms and maybe even take him away from here. To raise the child herself and away from the claws of the vultures here. But Aegon shoot up, face pulled into a murderous glare. "Don't you dare touch him!" His voice shocked everyone, the maid nearly jumping out of her skin. Rhaenyra stops in her tracks, her hand returning to her side. Turning to her half-brother she spoke loudly, in order to be heard over the small child. "He is my daughter's son, my bloo-" Aegon marched forwards anger blazing in his eyes. "He is my son! My blood! My wife's child!" He screamed, the fire inside him burning brightly.

Everyone was taken aback Lucerys moved to his mother's side, not only to get a better look at his nephew but to also support her. Jacaerys took longer to move to his mother's side, not wanting to leave you just yet. He was not ready to let you go just yet, to leave you cold and alone. But he joined his brother and mother. Alicent moved to her son's side, standing behind him just slightly.

Rhaenyra's eyes burn at Aegon, but she would not fight him right now. Not in front of her daughter's body and certainly not in front of your child. Glancing at you she moves across the room quickly, bending down slightly and placing a small kiss on your forehead. A wordless goodbye and display of the affection she should have been showing you all along. A single tear slips past her eyes and lands on your forehead. "My sweet child, I have always loved you. I pray to the gods you knew that." Her voice was soft and kind, pouring her grief into her words. Wishing her words could bring you back, even just for a moment so she could tell you how much she loved you.

"I will see my grandson. Perhaps not today, but soon." The woman says power is portrayed in her voice. Moving to the door her sons follow. Leaving Aegon and Alicetn along with you and your son. There was an underlying threat in her voice, one that may come soon.

#aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii x reader #aegon targaryen imagines #aegon imagines #aegon x reader #house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon imagines #hotd x reader #hotd imagines

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bones4thecats · 5 months

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Heyy hii hellooo , hruuu and what's your fav cat breed , btw can i req a leonidas , Nikola Tesla , hades , and Hercules x fem!homura akemi!reader

I hope you watch Madoka Magica , i just want a simple long ahh angst and then fluff

So basically the reader is like the goddess of time (for the gods part) and a time traveler(for the humans part) the reader basically repeat the same month that Ragnarok has taken place for over 1200 years just to save them from their fate which was turning into a green weed snort dust in because the charas are who she hold dear so much since they are her husband , each time she failed and failed and that affect the universe since she bend the time around the charas making them stronger but each timeline they just die , and i want them to confront the reader Abt it and then the reader is like having a meltdown or something and then tell em all the stuff she have been doing to the point she almost gone insane with all the timeline of watching them die

And after that can you just put on like a huge comfort scene where the charas finally survive and comfort the reader after all the pain she gone through

I hope you don't mind , sorry if it too muchhh srryyyyyy

A/N: Okay, my favorite cat breed is the Birman, it's just so fluffy and cute!! It also reminds me of a Siamese. This is one of the saddest things I have ever written, so expect to cry a few tears and then feel like your heart’s gonna explode! This is kinda themed after the song Haunted by Taylor Swift because I was listening to it while writing. Enjoy~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🚬 You had tried so many times, yet you always fail… why?

🚬 Why wasn’t it fair then, why wasn’t it fair now? Why did he have to die, why couldn’t that selfish and impish God Apollo die?!

🚬 1,200 years you have tried, over 103,782 attempts have been made in counting, maybe this would be the one to work!

🚬 But it was too much for one person to watch their one and only, their husband, die over and over and over by the same cause

🚬 You watched as he trained, and you couldn’t stop crying each time

🚬 Leonidas looked over at you and grinned his signature grin saying, ready for battle

🚬 When he hugged you that night you started to cry and not stop, which caused him to look at you with shock

🚬 You never cried

🚬 He kneeled down and tilted your head towards his face, his eyes asking the same question over and over again

“ Are you okay, my love? “

🚬 That was when you let loose, spilling everything, the endless death and depression you had gone through just to see him win, it made his heart ache

🚬 You went through all of this to see him come out on top, to see him alive again

🚬 Leonidas held you and shushed you, while you mumbled how it wasn’t fair since no matter how much you tried it never worked

“ You cannot escape fate, love. But, no matter what happens, believe me, I will always, always be by your side. No matter what. “ “ Promise? “ “ I promise. “

🚬 And he did. He won. He beat that snobbish bastard, Humanity cheered for the win while you smiled and cried happy tears for another reason

🚬 You finally did it, he lived…

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🧪 This stupid myth wasn’t coming to fruition, it said every time you traveled, he’d grow stronger! Just how much more strength did he need?!

🧪 Time after time again he died from that depleaded and god-awful immortal Beelzebub, why did he have to live?!

🧪 He hurt a child for crying out loud, causing him to turn into a blood-thirsty monster for the heck of it! He didn’t deserve life! He showed no remorse for what he had done, even Thor showed some of it to Lü Bu!

🧪 While thriving on the past, you were watching Nikola work on a problem for his armor for Ragnarok and you smiled when he got the fact right, it was better than last time, maybe this was it?

🧪 He did the same thing as last time, but he added more weaponry and more strength to it per your request, now maybe it could work!

🧪 You sat by Hlökk and Jack while the fight ensued, and you were praying that he would win, that your husband could finally come home safe and sound

🧪 And he did it… he- he beat Beelzebub!

🧪 Nikola was healing as you jumped onto him, he chuckled and kissed your forehead, and that was when you let it loose

🧪 You spilled the tea, all of it, the 1,200 years of torment that you faced watching him die, the same fate over and over and over again, not being able to stop it hurt

“ Darling, I am sorry for failing you so many times. “ “ It’s not your fault, you’re here now… and I’m thankful. “ “ I am thankful as well, Y/N… “

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💀 No, no, no, no!

💀 Every god-forsaken time, the same damn thing!

💀 Oh that human will pay for his insolence, killing the King that you loved was a crime only punishable by death at the hands of his victim!

💀 Every single time that Hades proclaimed his wish to fight, you were with him, helping him train to beat that puny being

💀 But every time it wasn’t enough, and it hurt so much…

💀 And the way that human smiled and had every human there cheering for him made you sick, many lost an ally, Zeus, Hermes, Ares, and Adamas all lost a brother and uncle, one that cared for them oh so much, and you…

💀 You lost your one and only love…

💀 But maybe this time it would work! It said that they grew stronger every time you traveled, so maybe now it would be right!

💀 Hades looked up at you and smiled as he prepared for battle, and every cut and bruise only gave you the biggest PTSD stain in history

💀 He couldn’t die, he just couldn’t!

💀 And when the cry of Zeus’ cry entered your ears, you started to doubt everything

💀 It worked, it finally fucking worked!

💀 You had never sprinted that hard before into the arms of your love, dragging him to the infirmary after sharing the best kiss known to the Gods

💀 Hades saw how sad yet happy your eyes were while he healed, and when he looked at you and asked why you were so down, you tole him everything, sobbing the process

" My dear, you've seen that happen all those times? For that long? " *Sigh* " I apologize for not being able to change that for so long, but, now we can start the life we've always wanted, by each others sides for eternity. "

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💪 He was the kindest soul you had ever met, why would fate just screw him over like this?!

💪 You understood he knew Jack far better than you, but watching the human just kill your lover blinded all of your judgement, no matter what

💪 Heracles had died so many times in front of you that you felt like crying tears of joy and sadness from both seeing him alive and from knowing what was bound to happen

💪 This time he had been talking to his adoptive brother, Ares, when you traveled back to see him and try getting him to survive, and seeing him with the only other person who wept and understood how much the lose of him affected you just hurt

💪 He called out to you and hugged you in his arms while calling his goodbyes to Ares, in which the God of War just smiled and waved back

💪 Your husband was the one person you didn't want to lie to anymore, and you hopes that after 1,200 years, this may be the final time you'd have to travel to save him

💪 You grabbed his hand which caused Heracles to turned around and give you a curious look, and that was when you told him

" 1,200 years for me? Angel, you... you didn't have to do all of this for me! "

💪 Heracles looked at you with shock, he figured nobody would drain themselves physically or mentally to the point of near insanity just for him...

💪 He hugged you even closer and he swore the same thing you heard over the last thousand years;

" I'll be safe, and when this is all over, we'll rest together just like before... I promise. "

💪 Your husband laid the most gentle kiss on your lips ever as you nodded, believing the words more than you ever did before

💪 Before Round 4 of Ragnarok started, you strolled over to the Humans side to speak to their fighter, Jack the Ripper, so you could get something clear

" In these last 1,200 years, I have been trying to get my husband back... as whenever he fought against you, he lost... died at your hands. And while I respect you and everything you have done for your people, I am just asking you one thing; Is this really what you want to be known for? Pure murder? "

💪 When Jack was about to kill Heracles, he remembered your words and smiled humbly before lowering his hands to the ground and laying on his knees, causing Heracles to stop and stare at the male

" I do not wish to kill you, God. " " Heracles. And Jack, I do not wish to kill you. This match stays at a draw! "

💪 All Gods and Humans were obviously pissed, but you got your husband back, and one of your previously close friends. Win-Win for you!

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bonefall · 5 months

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is hawkheart allowed to be a nuanced or at least fun character in better bones? on my knees begging after so many aus of “hawkheart goes straight to hell because he loves murder and nothing else” and “hawkheart killing an enemy during a battle where the invaded his home to destroy his medicine supply and immediately and long term endanger his clanmates actually means he put his clan in the wrong”. he has so much fun personality across his appearances and i love how hes one of the few characters who we’re allowd to see is multi faceted based on whos perceiving him (yellowfang sees him as curteous, bluestar sees him as cruel, tallstar sees him as gruff but kind, etc)

WHO IS BEING MEAN TO MY SON?? I LOVE HIM. What is it about WindClan that just sucks the ability to have nuance out of a person??

BB is about that. It's about pointing out how the extreme emphasis on war pits good people against each other, and people die over pointless bullshit. I spoke about it in passing once before but the Killing of Moonflower is something that I plan to expand on with Bluestar's Flowers.

When Bluepaw was young, she hated Hawkheart. Blamed him for killing her mother, NEEDED to believe it was StarClan's will that they went into glorious battle that day. She was insulted when Pinestar and Heatherstar entered talks after the vigil-- was her mother's life really only worth a couple squares of linen??

But Bluefur eventually makes friends. From ShadowClan, RiverClan, and even from BloodClan-- and there's two members of the little group from WindClan. Hoprunner and Ashfoot.

Meeting them starts to put things into perspective. She hears the story from the other side. Ashfoot was still a kit at the time, sick and being treated in the Cleric's Den. She remembers a ThunderClan warrior who burst in, and how terrified she was before Hawkheart shot out from the shadows... but she didn't know that was Bluefur's mother.

She just knew that if Hawkheart hadn't stopped the nameless warrior that night, she would be dead. Even if Moonflower hadn't even touched her, without those herbs, Ashkit would have died. Ashfoot wouldn't be standing here before Bluefur.

I haven't planned out her reaction yet, but it's something that should absolutely shake Bluefur. She probably ends up leaving the get-together early because she needs to be alone with that. Everything she's ever had to believe about Moonflower's death, that it was noble, that it was StarClan's will, that she was the strongest warrior and thus worthy of the front line...

How can she reconcile that with the trembling image of one of her best friends, someone she loves more than almost anything, sick and terrified in Moonflower's shadow?

It's hard to hate Hawkheart after that. She still wants to. But how can she? Who's even left to blame, if she can't be mad at her own Clanmates, and she can't be angry at WindClan?

But, anyway that aside? Hawkheart's a neat background character. I like him a lot. He's never going to have a starring role, but I think what he does do is very important.

#I hope Chee knows that I've never been able to look at penicillin without thinking of their Hawkheart post.#Better Bones AU #Bluestar's Flowers #BB!Hawkheart

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where-dreams-dwell · 6 months

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Just finished The Fall of the House of Usher and wow I have thoughts.

……….

Verna is fascinating!

My interpretation (I have read literally NO Poe so sorry if this is obvious) if that Verna is a personification/demon/something for Choices and Decisions.

When she first meets the Ushers she offers them a choice: here is a possible outcome of the decisions you’ve already made, which might well happen on its own, but would you like to *ensure* that it happens? What would you choose to give up to get what you want? I don’t think she’s *creating* this outcome (as it’s literally what Madeline said would happen while they bricked the CEO into the wall) but she’s saying she can make sure certain possible outcomes are the only ones that happen.

Death and killing might be part of her powers but at least in the case of the Ushers she’s only killing the children because the deal was none of them survive Roderick.

I think her deal with Madeline and Roderick is a mix of be careful what you wish for as you’ll get it in unexpected ways, and exposing their own hypocritical choices. The Ushers believe they are entitled to the company due to their father, that it is their legacy, that if he had only acknowledged them and planned for them to continue the company in their name they would have everything they deserve. But in order to get that legacy, they have to behave in the exact same manner their father did, and think only of themselves while not plan to leave anything for their children.

Verna even offers choices to the other people we see her interact with.

For Perry she reminds him he could choose to stop recoding people, choose not to peruse his brothers wife, choose to end the party. It’s not too late. Even at that party when she tells Morelle to ‘leave now’ it is still a choice, one Morelle doesn’t take which leads to its own consequences. And in the run up to the party we’re shown so many moments when Perry could have chosen differently and the outcome would have been different: having the party at all, inviting Morelle (he turns away and then back to offer her a ticket), Napoleon saying he’s better than this and doesn’t need to become a drug pusher, the building not having water and so choosing to use the assumed water on the roof… right up to the last moment when he chooses to give the signal for the sprinklers to go on.

And her conversation with Perry Verna almost admits it: the series of decisions which lead to him, some small ones, a big one, and then another smaller on and now here he is. Choices he wasn’t involved in have led to him being there that night. And she loves bad boys because they always make all the wrong choices.

For Camille she refuses entry to the lab multiple times and offers her the choice to turn around and go home: it won’t change her fate as she’ll die either way, but if she goes home she’ll die in her sleep instead of being torn apart. She doesn’t *need* to see everything with her own eyes, she already has the proof. But Camille chooses to revel in her sisters shame, to twist the knife, and so she dies painfully.

And Napoleon is told the cat he wants to buy isn’t for sale and to choose to go back home to his boyfriend (and likely confess his actions) but he pushes through with his money and demands that he should get what he wants. He even has a moment within his confrontation with the cat when he thinks this might be a drugged hallucination, but instead of stopping or calling his boyfriend he continues to destroy their home.

Victorine also gets choices: the file of perfect patient data is handed to her but she doesn’t have to call Verna back about the human trial. Verna asks at multiple points if this procedure is safe, if the surgeon has agreed, even if her patient data is safe in this clinic. And Victorine chooses to lie at every opportunity, chooses to sacrifice this woman’s life in the pursuit of her dream. And so she is haunted by her lies, driving her to a more gruesome death than necessary.

For Tammy Verna shows her how to make better choices from their first meeting: we only saw one other sex worker play out the fantasy scene pretending to be Tammy but their interactions with Bill were surface level. When Verna appears as Candy she plays fake-Tammy as caring about Bill, showing Real-Tammy how she could be a better partner from the get go. Verna compliments his cooking, says she’d been craving his ‘famous chicken Alfredo’, asks about his work earnestly and listens to his replies. Even later, when she is Tammys hallucination double, she keeps showing Tammy how she could choose differently: Bill would probably set your fight aside considering another sibling has died, you could call him? Bill would probably be concerned about your health, you could apologise? And after her breakdown Verna pretends to answer Bills call (which Tammy had thrown across the room) and apologises to him for how he’d been treated. The whole time Verna is telling Tammy ‘it’s not too late, you could choose to be kind, you could choose to make yourself happy’: like Camille it wont stop her inevitable death but it could have been easier. And again she didn’t have to die in this manner, she could have gone in her sleep but her chosen treatment of Bill and her own guilt over her decisions has been keeping her awake.

For Frederick, Verna even admits that she has chosen his manner of death *due* to the choices he made: he would have died in his car from a heart attack but he chose to take his wife home, chose to torture her, ‘chose to pick up the pliers’ and so here are the consequences of his decisions.

For Lenore, the only innocent in the whole family, Verna wants her to know that her *choice* to give a statement, her choice to break with her family and get her mother out, will have lasting consequences. That Lenore’s decision will have changed the world.

That Verna’s power focuses on choices is further emphasised with her knowledge of ‘what people would have been’ as I think that’s an expansion upon what different choices would have led to. Of people had chosen differently then this is what they would have become.

And in Verna’s interactions with Pym all of the moments she references are ones where choices are made: the choice to leave a man in the desert, to abandon a guide in the snow, to assault a woman in the arctic. Moments when a choice or decision was made.

So I think she is a bargainer, or demon of decisions, and while she isn’t inherently evil she has her own morality as seen when she chooses deaths which are painful or peaceful, depending on a persons actions.

And really the message of the whole show is choices and their consequences.

#the fall of the house of usher #tfothou #mike flanagan #verna #tv shows #good writing #spoilers #carla gugino

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kwop-kilawtley · 1 year

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Bella’s depression months/suicidal tendencies/ hallucinations in New Moon are not “romantic,” sorry. It’s just horrible how traumatized she is. Imagine being a 17 y/o girl who never dated anyone and the first person you date is a mythical creature who essentially is the idea of perfection. It knocks down your self esteem even more, makes you feel embarrassed for not being enough and then after you almost died at the hands of others of his kind, he leaves. Leaves you for dead.

How is it romantic that she now sees no worth in her own humanity? That she deems life useless without him. Then Jacob comes along and makes her see life can be good again. She falls in love with Jacob naturally and effortlessly. If Edward and Bella were truly “fated” and “meant to be,” Bella wouldn’t be so in love with Jacob the way that she is. Jacob is the only person who truly understands her and he would do anything for her. He would protect her and keep her alive.

Bella choosing Edward is literally suicide and allows her to be stunted, to not fix her self esteem issues. Yet this is supposed to be romantic somehow?? The text literally leads you to believe that Bella will grow and get out of her depression with the help of Jacob. And he totally could have because she could’ve been open about the vampire secret since he knew about them too. It only makes sense in my mind she chose him. She actually has fun with him, he understands her personality better than Edward, understands her mind better than Edward. Their love is so intense that she even says she may have actually chosen Jacob if she hadn’t known what losing Edward felt like. She was so deeply traumatized by him leaving she couldn’t even bear the thought of having to heal. But she almost did. She could have.

The fact Bella cannot let Jacob go all throughout Eclipse even after Edward comes back is proof that she’s not fated to be with Edward. Literally no matter how many times I read these books I will never see it that way even though her narrative wants you to believe that in the end. Like sorry but having cutesy quotes and ogling over his physical perfection every second without there really being true reason behind it, just doesn’t hit for me. They were together for mere months and she’s already talking about “I want to be with you forever.” Like yeah that was me in high school too with the first person who ever gave me attention. I didn’t know any better tho. Now pair that with someone who literally hypnotizes humans lol.. yeah she didn’t stand a chance. Yet her lack of autonomy is romantic? Gross. She even says “it’s like Sam & Emily, I never had a choice.” How does anyone find this romantic LMAO.

If Bella had no feelings for Jacob and he had no good aspects of him and he wasn’t trying to keep Bella alive the whole goddamn time then no one would be for Jacob. But she literally is in love with him, it’s just not “magical” bullshit love. Which doesn’t even make sense for her btw. She doesn’t have any development whatsoever. Vampirism is just her bandaid and Jacob and the entire wolfpack are done dirty.

She tries to die and hear voices of her ex who abandoned her yet that’s romantic lmfao. New moon is legit based off of Romeo & Juliet, a tragedy where they both die. Bella & Edward simply shouldn’t have had a happy ending. Naturally it doesn’t make sense that they do, which is why breaking dawn is such a shit show. Because their relationship just doesn’t make sense and only harms them and everyone around them.

& before anyones like “it’s just a fantasy stop analyzing it wahh” no <3 these books shaped my way of viewing relationships as a teenager and it should be talked about how harmful some of the messages in the series are.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #team jacob #jacob x bella #jacob black #new moon #bella swan #bella x jacob

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sharffffff · 5 months

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Joel punched the side of his helter skelter out of exasperation. He had just failed his task, task he was so happy about, a chance to get back at Scott - and the only reason he failed it was his own blumming stupidity. How is it he’s the only one that forgets to put two minecarts above the door instead of one? How come blumming Scott knew it was him from just that one small mistake?

He even hired all the reds - well, not himself, Jimmy hired Martyn for him - to help him with this Scott problem, and even though he has failed, he wasn’t going to tell any of them that that had happened. He still wanted Scott to be hurt, he still wanted to be the cause of that, as a revenge for countless deaths in the past. Joel even gave Jim a Power 3 bow, just to make it so much better.

As he tried to calm himself down with nice thoughts of turning red and murdering Scott on the spot, he tripped, spilling his entire water bucket all over his crops, ruining his day even further. Everything that was able to go wrong, was going wrong.

“Can this day get ANY BLUMMING WORSE?!” Joel shouts at nothing, at the sky, but most of all, at himself. And is if to receive the answer, he heard the loud explosion in the distance. He was almost ready to ignore it as some failed trap, but something catches him. The sense of familiarity. He has heard explosions like this before. Yes, not too many times, he was pretty early to be out far too often, but this sound has still ingrained itself in his memory.

“No, nononono, don’t be Jim, I can’t lose Jim yet,” Joel pulls out his player list, and breathes out the sigh of relief, still seeing Jimmy’s name on the list. Maybe now that he has survived a bit longer Jim will stop believing in that nonsense about canary curse. But who has died then? As he reads through the list, a realization sinks in, and he lets out a deep, guttural scream. This day kept getting worse.

He rushed to spawn, hoping that someone would know something about what happened to Lizzie. How could she die? HOW COULD SHE DIE? He arrived to see Scott explaining that Lizzie brought him to the End to try and push him off the edge, but accidentally looked at the enderman and was the one to be pushed off instead.

Joel stops for a moment, trying to catch his breath as it eludes him, trying to calm his heart. Lizzie died… trying to kill Scott? Trying to do what he, Joel, asked her to do? Did he just send her to her death in hopes that she would help him finish his task? Did him not telling her he failed it kill her? Joel couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe?

Then he glanced at Scott, looking so smug, telling everyone about how he took a few hits from Lizzie’s axe but got away from the corner. How Lizzie looked at an enderman while trying to look at him. How that enderman killed her. How looking at Scott killed her. How Scott killed her.

Joel could breathe again, but not because he was calm, oh no. His vision went red, how it usually only does when you, well, turn red, and his breaths were still short and heavy, and he was fueled with rage. It wasn’t Joel who sent Lizzie to her death. It was Scott who killed her, it was Scott who sicced the enderman on her, it was his fault, it was entirely his fault.

And even though he could not do anything about it right now, the second he turns red, Scott will be gone, rules be damned. But even the rules of following the tasks instead of just attacking wouldn’t be able to stop Joel from ending Scott’s series. Scott was going to die from Joel’s hand, it was only a matter of time.

Now, though, the only thing Joel could hope for was that this day wouldn’t get any worse.

#secret life smp #secret life spoilers #joel smallishbeans #i just wanted to capture the fact the joel was the one who sent lizzie after scott #and that he would blame himself at first #but there was a nicer target to move his blame to #secret life #traffic smp #trafficblr

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bfpnola · 3 months

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image description under the cut

when i was 12, i was ambitious. a heart of gold, in the words of earth, wind & fire, i truly believed that nothing could stop me so long as i gave it my all. no obstacle was too large, no goal was too distant. now, at 20, my dreams are shattered in many ways. yet in many ways i am still grateful (and i am aware that i have so much left to live). i owe it to the family i have created to tell this complex truth over a neatly told lie:

for the nearly 8 years that better future program, inc. (bfp) has existed, i have run it almost entirely alone. each time that we gained momentum, it was as though the narrow visions of others dragged us right back to the depths of the void. and i was the one always left to pick up the pieces. you see, for nearly 8 years, i fought and cried, chased and fell, lived and died. but it was through my struggles that i made lifelong friends to kiss the very scars this organization has graced me with. i will always hold a place in my heart for the volunteers who showed up, who bleed alongside me as these words rip into our spirits.

you see, i am writing this because i am a changed person. called every name in the book right down to ngger whore*, something about my soul is hurting. my children and i, my wonderful children, have spent 8 years begging our white peers to care. it does something to you… to look into someone’s eyes, to say that you feel as though you could die, that the world has cursed you with this endless sense of urgency, and for them to only center their themselves whiteness in the end. even in the home we had created, we could not escape white supremacy. i refuse to sugarcoat just how heartbreaking a revelation this was. in the words of one of our truest and most gentle-hearted allies, internally, we had become parasitic, only existing to serve the needs and wants of our white members. and of course, we were disposable. when cycles of harm were disrupted, they left us without a single word of remorse.

my children and i, we are a broken people. torn from our homes, our hearts cracked open, we are a people whose throats are hoarse from screaming, who eyes flood like the mississippi river, whose soles are calloused from chasing after dreams (after humanization) across red-hot coal. we are burnt out.

so where does this leave us? what does any of this mean? crucial details highlighted below:

better future program, inc. (bfp) is changing. our nonprofit status will remain. but our volunteer positions will not. our liberation library will remain. but our discord server will not. we will no longer accept donations. our current funds will be redistributed through mutual aid networks. our 3,000 free resources will still be available. but our capacity for material change has truly been diminished. we hope to continue to provide marginalized youth with educational materials for as long as we possibly can. and so we will do so, for as long as we possibly can.

you see, my children and i, we are a resilient people. borne of slave ships and reservations, occupation and colonization, abuse and grief, we are survivors. our hands grasp one another’s tightly so that we may never lose each other in this world. we have held hands since before we ever even met. as we venture back out into our local communities, we will never stop being intentional in our relationships (in fact, we already have a new project in the works so that may stick together). better future program, inc. (bfp) has still given us so much. and for that we will always be grateful.

if you have any further questions, which i imagine you might, feel free reach out through [email protected], instagram (@bfpnola), or tumblr (@bfpnola), as these socials will remain available.

thank you so much for supporting us for as long as you have. it’s time we take a new path.

sincerely,

reaux (she/they)

founding executive director

#reaux speaks #announcements

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madwomansapologist · 1 year

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hi, can you do headcanons about being klaus mikaelson's (romantic) soulmate or mate?

Being Klaus Mikaelson soulmate would include

synopsis: in a world where soulmates are more than just a wish, how unlucky was Klaus to have to live millennia before he found his?

warnings: vampire stuff, but that one is way more romantic than bloody

ps: thanks for your request! I didn't know if you meant a color!au or something like this, so I did it on my way. Feel free to ask for more!

• Two milennia lived and no sign of his soulmate. Two fucking milennia. During his life, Klaus saw sixty years old finding their soulmates at a asylum, politicians finding the love of their lifes in the competing political party, even teenagers falling in love at school, and two times he saw kids with less than five years finding the love of their lifes on a day care center. But he never did found his

• He did even think that it was Nature laughing at his successfull attempt to beat death. For a really long time he believed that his soulmate was dead and whatever chance he had to found them was turned to dust. But, fifty years later, Rebecca meet her soulmate. And it wasn’t just someone who was almost so old as then because someone that the Orginals turned into a vampire spread the gift: it was a person only twenty years old

• Klaus felt hope. He was now sure that Nature wasn’t so cruel. That one day he would finally find the person that will make his world burn. He dreamed about this day. But thousand years can make any hope just die. Maybe he did almost found you, but chose to look ar the opposite direction and lost his chance. Maybe you had died. Maybe Nature chose to be mean only to him. Maybe he, after all, didn’t have a soul to be completed

• That didn’t stopped him from living his life. He had a family, friends and plans. He felt hope, and anger, and frustration, and hapiness, and sandness, and pleasure. Klaus did failed to plan and planned to fail, but he also did win so many times and in so many ways. Klaus did not only survived, beating death, but he lived. And that life, that marvelous and machiavellican life, took him back to Mistic Falls

• And Klaus had plans, big plans, that worked in his favor. He did turned into a hybrid and, by the time we’re his mom organized a ball to celebrate the reunion of the family, he thought that Esther’s presence and his new status as a hybrid we’re what he was celebrating. Little did he knew that his life would change again, and in a way he couldn’t expect, that same night

• As mayor’s campaign coordenator, when he was invited to a party of the new rich family, going with him and his family was nothing but work. You we’re there to help him remember names, informations, and make sure that everything that happens around him was nothing but absolutely perfect. Thats the truth about election year: everything, even leisure, is work

• When mayor finally did something that didn’t need your presence (which was using the bathroom), you had a moment to breath in and breath out. You didn’t sit, he would came back quickly, but you took a glass of wine while talking to Sheriff Forbes. She is a great woman, talking to her was easy because she wasn’t looking for mistakes or gossip, she was just being nice and trying to have a great time

• But you weren’t the only person interested on talking to her, obviously the host would talk to her at some point of the night. You heard the mayor’s criticism that the new family talked to him while you weren’t by his side, which you respond that if he wanted you by his side then he shouldn’t make you talk to one of his campaing donor. So now, talking to Forbes, when a member of the new family approached, it was simply a fact: you two hadn't seen each other before

• His smooth voice was directed to Forbes, so you we're ready to just get out of this conversation and let then alone, but when you looked at his way and you both made eye contact, you with a kindly smile and him with a rough confidence on his eyes, the world tremble.

Klaus felt a blizzard burying him alive. His fingers froze. His eyes went still. Something inside him, something heavy and sharp, pierced through every layer of muscle and skin until it reached the surface. You combusted. Your chest felt like a forest on fire and your mind was intoxicated by the smoke. A hot emotion crept through your body, taking over every organ and limb, and lulled you into a calm never before felt.

Forbes was nothing but a acute voice, and even she stopped breathing, with the entire noom, when she notice. Your chest irradiated a heavy scarlet light, Klaus's glowed navy. Whatever space between you both was just a purple blur. Without sharing a word, the entire could see that you both lived to meet one another. Soulmates. So easy to understand, so easy to see, so easy to believed.

"Finally", that's what Klaus said, the first thing he could even think. He smiled, his entire body relaxing just because of your existence. "I had been waiting for you."

You could never really understand the weight of that sentence, but you felt the same. A life waiting for something you could never be sure if it would happen. A life longing to find the person who will not only be your love, but also a soul mate.

"I tend to arrive late", you whisper. You didn't have force to do anything else. "I have been dreaming about you my whole life."

Klaus took a step closer. "Do you need to be here?" You shaked your head, which makes Klaus to reach out to you. "Then came with me. I need to know you."

Without hesitation, you grabbed his hand and followed him through the night. Nothing, nothing, would have made you choose otherwise.

• Klaus waited a milennia and would wait another one if that means he would have you.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

#madwomansapologist #the originals #the originals x reader #the originals x y/n #the originals x you #the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries x you #the vampire diaries x y/n #the vampire diaries x reader #the vampire diares imagine #the originals imagine #klaus mikaelson x you #klaus mikealson x reader #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaleson imagine #klaus mikaelson x y/n #ask box

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/715801428071972864/hey-maya-what-are-your-thoughts-on-the?source=share

Not this anon but wait that means I can manifest a certain afterlife? Like there isn't one destined afterlife but it can be whatever we want it to be?

I wish there was a voice audio setting because I would tell you guys so many stories! but anyways I’ll tell you guys about a specific occurrence that happened when I was around 13/16 that changed my perspective on everything.

Basically I used to go to church often . My family is pretty religious, and at the time, I wasn’t even really religious, but I still followed Christianity. I had gotten into manifesting but I still believed in god pretty avidly (and still do just not in a religious way) so I didn’t mind going.

Anyways there was this super religious girl who I would talk to everytime I went. guys I mean she was giving cult. Cross tattoos, Bible reading club everyday, and she could read the Bible word for word backwards probably! I don’t really like super avidly religious people who make their entire life abt god and every conversation abt it, but idk for her I could tolerate it. She was super sweet and her passion was admirable.

I remember she stopped coming to church and I knew something was wrong because this girl would rather die than miss service. Turns out she was in an accident and was probably going to die, so we held a huge fundraiser for her family. At the time I didn’t know what happened to her because no one talked about it after the fundraiser and I didn’t have her phone number so I just assumed she died.

Then when I was 16, so atp pretty into manifesting and not into church anymore I saw her at a tarot shop.. that she owned. Now it’s a general consensus astrology, tarots and stuff is against Christianity. (not that I cared regardless I still was into that shit) but The Sarah (fake name) I knew Would never step foot into what she called a “devil worshipping temple”

But it was definitely her and she looked so different. She used to have long brown hair, wore traditional clothing, would never show skin etc. this girl had a pixie cut with black hair, so many tattoos of sigils and zodiac stuff on her body, so many piercings, and was wearing booty shorts!! I almost didn’t recognize her but she said hi to me and I was in shock. This bitch owns a crystal shop.. Holy Sarah owns a crystal shop!! atp I believed the rapture was about to start bc what the hell

Anyways I asked her how she was and what happened, because I assumed she was dead. And she said she was. She had been officially dead for 5 straight seconds, but was “brought” back with those machines. I told her she looks good but why the change in lifestyle. she said when she died, she was in a black space of nothing but still had thoughts. She didn’t see Jesus or the purgatory or whatever, all she had was herself. She was crying to herself in this void like space as she knew it was the end, and the atheists were right. We become nothing when we die. Then she just wished to come back, and she said she would do anything to come back, and then she did. She awoke again and when she did she got into spirituality and it changed her life.

16 year old me at this point was pretty deep into my spiritual research and she basically confirmed what I had believed since I was 8. We choose what happenes when we die and we can do the same for our life on earth. I pretty much talked to her for hours, until I had to go because my mom doesn’t want me in those “weird” shops either. Anyways I assume the “space” she was in was the void state, but I didn’t know what that was until the end of 2021 ofc so I couldn’t make the connection at the time.

But I mean it makes sense. we have free will, so if we can decide every aspect of our life while alive, why would that change at death. death isn’t the end, just a beginning of whatever new chapter you want or believe it to be. Just my belief ofc :) you’re inclined to believe whatever !

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #manifesting #reality shifting #law of attraction #self concept #void success

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artist-issues · 15 days

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Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born. I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her. Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.

I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.

I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either. I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.

But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.

And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.

I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.

It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.

And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?" It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.

And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.

That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.

He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.

I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.

That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.

I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."

So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?

Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.

But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.

But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.

But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.

The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.

I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.

So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own. And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.

#very long post #Asked #answered #Christianity #me #LGBTQ+#transfenderism #testimony #Christian #Bible #Jesus Christ #Yahweh

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imaginefan · 6 months

Text

Alone

Lorenzo St. John X Reader

Word Count: 703

Requested: Anon

Request: You turn off your humanity cause your parents died. Enzo was the only person who actually cares about you but he got distant from you cause he was getting closer to Bonnie and didn't see the signs that you were really bad. He tries to get you back but you won't listen to him and he's also why you shut it off too cause you lost Enzo too even though he is still around.

Tvd one shot please.

You can’t believe that you hadn’t seen them before they died, they kept asking you too but you kept telling them that you were busy, you don’t even know what had you so busy. No that’s a lie you knew what it was, it was the friends that claimed that would do the same for you but they weren’t even at the funeral, the ones that you died for yourself, the ones that you continued to fight for even when you should have gone home and now as you stood over the graves of your parents with none of them there, you wondered if it was even worth continuing but it’s much harder to stop when you were immortal.

So you did something else, something that was supposed to make you feel better but all it did was make you feel empty. The only difference was that you couldn’t find it in you to care, with your emotions turned off you couldn’t care what happened around you. That was how you found yourself in a back alley bar everyone around you was dead and you had just finished feeding “(Y/N) what are you doing?” You recognised the voice immediately. “Enzo, I didn’t know that you’d be around here.” You smiled as you gestured around the room. “You are hungry, take your pick. What’s mine is yours.” You winked as you leaned back in your chair “or maybe you want something else, I’ve never really been a big consumer of alcohol so you can definitely have whatever is behind the bar.” “(Y/N) what happened?” He asked. “They’re dead.” You answered “while I was out helping all of you, they died, you know the last time I saw them was before I was a vampire and that was almost 3 years ago now.” “(Y/N)-” “I know that 3 years aren’t that many to you given the fact that you’ve lived so long and before I know it 3 years will be nothing to me either right?” You asked. “(Y/N) I know that you have lost everything but-” “You know the worst part wasn’t that I lost them, it was that the people I still had weren’t there, when I had been there for every one of them, when Jeremy died I sat with Elena, when Caroline was turned I tried to help her where I could, when Bonnie found out about her magic I was there too but the only reason that I’m here to grieve today was because you… A stranger at the time thought I was worth more alive than dead.” You said and he looked down at his hands. “Do you wish that I had let you die that day?” He asked. “You know even after everything, I’m not sure that I do but I’d have to flip that switch to know for sure right?” You asked. “Do you think they would still be alive if I was dead?” “I don’t know, do you believe that it was our enemies that killed them?” He asked. “There was hardly anything left of them, it couldn’t have been anything else.” You answered. “You saw them?” He asked. “They needed someone to identify what was left of them.” You answered “they left their faces so I would know that they were gone.” “So tell me what are you doing here?” He asked. “What do you mean?” You asked. “Well why aren’t we looking for the people who killed your parents, you know I would move heaven and earth for you.” He said. “I didn’t know that.” You answered through gritted teeth “when I stood alone, crying, you know they had no family to see them off, I was their only child and everyone else had died before them, I was there alone.” “I never meant for you to be alone.” He said “I didn’t know.” “You didn’t know because you pulled away long before they died, so leave me be, I’m not the reason that we play hero.” You were gone before he could say anything else but he had failed you, everyone had, he couldn't make them see but he could surely fix what he had done if he tried.

Requests and general question!

#the vampire diaries preference #the vampire diaries one shot #the vampire diaries imagine #the vampire diaries #lorenzo st john #lorenzo st john imagine #lorenzo st john oneshot #enzo st john #enzo st john imagine #enzo st john oneshot #imagine #oneshot #one shot #reader insert #x reader

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mathanlin · 10 months

Text

*Shink.*

That’s how it starts — the Blood God’s sword being withdrawn, the dust of the pit already stained red.

And it quickly ends, that sword thrust into Tommy’s chest.

*Shink.*

Tommy blinks.

He’s… alive again.

Or, Timeloop/Pitfighting AU where Tommy’s forced to fight the Arena’s long-reigning champion.

He doesn’t stand a chance. He knows the moment the Blood God unsheathes his sword he’s dead.

And he’s right. But not for long.

*Shink.*

“Whoa, whoa.” Tommy stumbles back. His knife falls to the dust — not that it would’ve been useful, anyway. “Hey— wait, wait, something’s wrong—”

The Blood God tilts his head. Tommy could’ve sworn his face was… regretful. Soft.

The sword in his gut is anything but.

*Shink.*

There’s not much time to think.

The Blood God’s the Arena’s champion for a reason. He’s quick. Brutal. Adaptable, too — strangely so. Despite the timeloop, he reacts to every one of Tommy’s moves.

But despite the violent deaths, Tommy is *hopeful.*

“You win, you earn anything you want,” the pit masters had said. *Laughed,* more like, because Tommy didn’t have a fucking chance at winning.

But now? Maybe he does.

And he knows exactly what he wants.

First, though, he needs to *kill the Blood God.*

One knife. No shield. No armor, just a ragged shirt and the family necklace he somehow hadn’t lost.

It’s… not impossible.

But as a sword slides through ribs for the literal hundredth time, Tommy starts to believe it might be.

*Shink.*

Tommy stumbles back, knife flailing as the Blood God lunges—

*Shink.*

He dives for the bloodstained dust, skidding—

*Shink.*

He lunges first, knife bared—

*Shink.*

“No, no, don’t—

*Shink.*

That’s the worst of it.

No matter what Tommy tries, it fails. There’s no time to do anything but die — and that he does, over and over and over.

Until he breaks.

*Shink.*

“Please.”

The Blood God… stops.

The seconds tick by. Seconds Tommy’s never gotten past.

He takes a shuddering breath. “Please. Don’t.”

The Blood God’s silent. Then, hushed, almost like he’s talking to himself—

“I will kill you as many times as I need to.”

Tommy’s head shoots up.

“You— you know?”

It’s all he can say, thoughts whirling too fast to speak.

*You know what’s happening? You’re stuck, too?*

*…you knew, and you still kept killing me?*

Two hundred thirty-six times.

Tommy shakes his head, tipping backwards. The Blood God follows, sword lifting.

But for once, Tommy doesn’t watch it.

Because he’d seen something far more important.

An emerald necklace, peeking out from beneath the Blood God’s armor.

The same necklace that falls from Tommy’s shirt as he scrambles back.

The Blood God steps back, shaking his head.

*Techno* steps back.

“Tommy?”

*Shink.*

It’s not the loop resetting — the opposite. It *ends.*

Tommy’s long-lost brother *sheaths* his sword, hand shaking.

And whispers, agonized and broken. “Tommy.”

(“Kill this one kid, and we’ll help find your brother.”

That’s all the Blood God had been told. It was enough.

It didn’t matter that the kid reminded him of the very brother he was trying to find. It didn’t matter that he cried, pleaded, died at his hands countless times.

But now it does.

Because Theseus — *Tommy* — is staring up at him, shivering & curled in on himself. Because Techno can remember every fatal wound he’d caused, even if Tommy’s skin is unmarked.

Because the fear in his little brother’s eyes is killing Techno himself.)

#mcyt #dsmp #dsmp au #sbi #sbi au #threadfic

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enpr-ss · 6 months

Text

1 HOUR LONG RUN?! HE WOULDNT FARM THAT LONG WOULD HE?

He doesn’t recognize the bony ravagers lol. “You gotta feed the ravagers they’re skins and bones!” LOL.

Also the amount of cards he has is just visually intimidating.

The joy in his voice every time loot n scoot plays.

He just can’t stop hitting these pressure plates. LOL HE THREW A BERRY INSTEAD OF THE COMPASS. dude needs to stop jumping onto the pressure plates. He’s just booking it out because he’s scared. And of course he gets bounding strides as he is being chased by a ravager to go right over the jump boost wall. HOW DID HE FALL IN JUMP BOOST?!? THERES LITERALLY A JUMP BOOST BYPASS FOR THE CHAIN PARKOUR. AND HE DOES IT AGAIN!!! DOES HE NOT KNOW ABOUT THE PATH? He could have made it on the second try but now the ravager’s there.

Ravager ping pong is always so funky to watch. What do you mean very hard to do with bounding strides etho please. THERES A BYPASS SPECIFICALLY FOR BOUNDING STRIDES. how does he fall into the same pit 3 times WITH bounding strides. HE GOT BOUNDING STRIDES AGAIN?!? AND HES GOING TO WAIT FOR IT TO END BEFORE GETTING OUT?!? WHY. I’m having a breakdown watching this. I’m losing my mind. Tango is also correct; there’s other ways besides the chain parkour and he has jump boost AND armor. He can take 2 ravager hits. “But they’re not blocked because you have jump boost, skippy” TANGO LOL.

Is this really our champion. The best player. The winner of phases 3 and 4?

“We’re going to get it first try” *takes berry damage* AND HE FALLS DOWN FOR FOURTH TIME. THE RAVAGER ISNT EVEN INTERESTED IN HIM ANYMORE BUT GETS LINE OF SIGHT BECAUSE HE LINGERED TOO LONG ON THE WRONG END. How does someone fall into the same pit 5 times. He was almost out of there. “How many times can I fail this?” “You’ve surprised me so far” Tango absolutely obliterating this man. Good. And he finally realizes the jump boost bypass. The regret in his voice. Delicious. He’s begging, weeping and wailing and cowering in the pit. Keep it coming this is fantastic. “I’m safe to come up now” as the ravagers wanders closer LOL. THE DUNGEON TRULY IS YANKING HIS CHAIN HAHAHAA. where are your Jedi mind tricks now Etho? Look at him yelling and pleading with the ravager. Pearl logging in just to roast him. We love it. NOW THERE ARE TWO RAVAGERS LOL. IM LAUGHING SO HARD IM CRYING. He’s overloaded with sounds and no one has any pity for him. We’re too busy laughing. Kangaroo Master LOL. NUMBER 6 HAHAHA

lackey on demand for 30 crowns honestly not a bad idea. LET HER IN!! LET HER KILL! 7 times. This is a farce. “That was a bad booping.” That llama idea by Pearl is brilliant. The shame, the humiliation of dying by being literally spat on. Definitely should be the path of the coward death. Meatball and Snausages LOL.

New plan to live in the dungeon? DUNGEON LET’S PLAY CUB HAHAHA.

AND TANGO GOES IN JUST TO PUNCH HIM. OH MY GOD. PEAK COMEDY. “I can’t believe this. It’s ridiculous at this point. What are you doing?” Eat your own words Etho.

AND HE’S OUT!!! AFTER LIKE 20 MINUTES. Is he literally going to go camp the berry bush. Just live in the treat or trick hut. I’m losing it. IS HE GOING TO RUTSY? I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 12 CROWNS AND 53 EMBERS?!?! DIE. “Just a little more berries and I’ll go just trust me IM GOING Don’t let Gem in” most pathetic man ever.

HES JUST BEELINIG TO ALL BERRIES LOL. AND THE RAVAGER IN THE WATER HAZARD IN THE CRYPT AGAIN. NOT AGAIN. NOT THIS CAMPING AGAIN.

“Oh no you might hit max clank soon” tango stop LOL. “Which year?” LOL. THE HAZARD BERRY BUSH IS INSANE. IT REGREW INSTANTLY TWICE. AND HES JUST THROWING COINS AND KEYS INTO THE LAVA.

AND HE FAILS!! AND DIES TO A VEX!! YAY!!!! GET HIM GEM!!! GET HIS ASS!!

A lava bucket at max clank! Making it worse for himself! Etho’s run was so long that the server died HA.

This run as long as one of my reaction posts.

#pearlescentmoon

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