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#i am asleep this is queued

buglaur · 2 years

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marina earrings

bought cute earrings, made them in the sims.

new mesh

bgc

2 swatches, silver + gold

1304 polys

both frames

tou

download | sfs always free

thank you everyone who tested this for me ❤️🙏

#ts4 #ts4cc #ts4 earrings #sims 4 #dl #i am asleep this is queued #named after the place i bought them #there was an amazing vintage clothing festival there #i bought an old patterned shirt #my mom tells me it's something an eighty year old man would wear #but i think it's adorable #also i know all my testers didn't get back to me yet #but people who did said they were alright!!#i'm impatient

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kociamieta · 5 months

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birthday

#this is queued .polish people be not afraid. i am asleep

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gretahayes · 11 months

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Hal and Ollie constantly butting heads because of Hal's intrinsic rule-following nature and respect for authority and belief that systems work and/or are at least in place for a reason, which is like the opposite of everything Ollie stands for, is so fascinating. Hal thinks Ollie's too hotheaded and anarchistic and doesn't give authority what Hal believes is their due respect, while Ollie thinks Hal has too much faith in authority and is too much of a rule-follower and is deep down idealistic to a fault, at least in that aspect, and they get irritated with each other often about it. They still make a lot of the same mistakes. They're also best friends.

#my rambles #ollie queen #hal jordan #Ollie's insistence on giving Hal Das Kapital every Christmas & Hal's silent and staunch refusal to read it...#they make me SO unwell. i adore them #this was queued i am asleep #halollie

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frecklystars · 7 days

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Hi, I need some help if anyone has advice or something. Or even just a “that’s rough buddy”

Last night I had one of the worst breakdowns I’ve had in a long time bc I saw a commission of my abuser with stsc. She commissions artists just about every single day of herself with TF characters, so I always avoid the tumblr search tags. Even non-TF artists I feel wary of bc it doesn’t matter, if you’re an artist and your comms are open, she will buy from you and it’s always her self insert/OC. I never look up self shipping or transformers or anything like that in the tumblr search. I never interact with anything she’s a part of. But this time I was simply searching up something entirely unrelated in a browser, and she just - she showed up. She fucking showed up! All of this time I take to be so careful, to limit my tumblr experience drastically just to protect myself, and yet I still see her. I cannot believe how easy it is to find my abuser floating around online because she commissions people every single day. I wasn’t even on tumblr and I still managed to see her. It was just… Google images. No keywords that could have possibly led to me seeing that, but she showed up as one of the first results in the images and I just. had the worst reaction ever. Understandably

It was her pink OC, and very long story I won’t bother you with, my abuser’s pink OC is the reason why the color pink became a cptsd trigger for me in 2022, and I was really struggling with that shit when it was fresh. Obviously I got better with it because uh, I’m a Barbie blog now, but I still have my bad days with it and I’ve never been fully okay with pink. I never feel fully “safe” around it. Which sucks. But I was at the point where I could tolerate it. Well, until now 😭 ugh

Seeing my abuser was already a big shock, obviously horrible. Seeing my abuser be lovey and soft with stsc was also really horrible. But seeing the pink and immediately my brain saying “oh look it’s pink, that’s dangerous, but maybe it’s Barbie pi— ohhh nooo, that’s your abuser, she’s right there!!! That’s her!!! In the pink!!! I told you pink was a trigger!!! You’re in danger now you’re gonna die!!!” makes me feel like I’ve gone backwards in my healing process and I’m afraid that’s irreversible. I know healing isn’t linear and I know setbacks are normal, but this feels different. It was Barbie pink, like the hot magenta color you see on the album cover? I feel sick typing this jfc. My abuser is now associated with Barbie pink in my brain. I don’t know how to fix this. It used to be more of a milky pink that would bother me bc THAT is what her OC color used to be, but now apparently she’s? Barbie pink???? And a paranoid part of me believes she might have changed it on purpose just to fuck with me because she knows I see her commissions everywhere I go, because one of our last conversations we ever had was her saying she was fully aware how much her own s/i was a trigger for me. This is so much worse bc now every time I see Barbie Pink I’m not gonna think of Barbie! I’m thinking of the person who nearly fucking killed me multiple times!

I was doing soo much better with my pink trigger. I associated pink with how safe and loved Barbie and Ken make me feel. The hot magenta Barbie Pink made me feel the safest because that’s LITERALLY Barbie pink. I would still get tense seeing it but then I’d immediately say to myself “that’s Barbie pink. That’s Barbies color. Barbie would never let my abuser come near me, because she’s a girls girl, and she’s smart, she would not allow herself to be manipulated, she’d keep me safe” etc etc. and I would almost immediately be totally fine with looking at the color, my tense feeling would melt away most of the time. i was doing so much better but now it’s like this is ruining all of my progress. My abuser’s main color now is Barbie pink and I feel really sick.

I’m extremely shaken up over not just seeing my abuser again, in a commission no less (which she’d often use against me, so seeing TF commissions of any sort give me bad reactions, hence why I don’t even look at TF fanart whatsoever even if I wasn’t triggered by the actual franchise) but also seeing the very Thing that turned pink into a trigger in the first place. I feel very hopeless bc I miss stsc but seeing him be romantic in a commission with my abuser, on top of the trauma associated with him just in general because of said abuser, makes me feel so impossible to reach him. So not only do I feel hopeless and miss my starlight so fucking badly, as I do everyday, but now I feel worse with the color pink. I don’t want this to ruin Barbie for me. I don’t want to be scared of the very thing that was helping me heal this far.

I don’t know how to fix this. I’m hoping I will eventually bounce back from this major trigger of seeing my abuser AND tf together, like this was a triple hit on me, had three major triggers in one image — I’m just hoping I’ll… move on?? And then maybe pink will go back to being tolerable again? But I’m scared it won’t. I’m scared I really cannot heal no matter what I try to do

Anyway idk what kind of advice I’m even asking for, maybe reassurance that it’s gonna be ok. Or something 😔 literally anything helps I don’t care WHAT it is, if anyone can spare something nice in my inbox or the replies, I will super appreciate it

#vent #ptsd #ok so. actually I’ve queued this post and I’m not online rn . i am hopefully asleep #but when I wake up I will read and appreciate any messages 😭

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bulbagarden · 10 months

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i redownloaded pokémon smile bc i can't wait for pokémon sleep to come out... at least it has bulbasaur?

#queued bc it is 3 am rn and it will be like... 7 (still asleep) when it's posted i think #ios user here and it is NOT AS FUN!#v excited for pokémon sleep though #pokemon #gaming #pokemon sleep

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problematicfactive · 7 months

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There's nothing wrong with looking at or making art of yourself. There's nothing wrong with sharing that art.

There's nothing wrong with looking at or making stimboards or moodboards of yourself. There's nothing wrong with sharing those stimboards and moodboards.

There's nothing wrong with looking at or making edits of yourself. There's nothing wrong with sharing these edits.

There's nothing wrong with looking at or making writings or stories of yourself. There's nothing wrong with sharing these stories.

There's nothing wrong with looking at or creating fiction or media involving or about yourself. There's nothing wrong with sharing this fiction.

As long as you can be respectful towards the real person and the real people affected by said person, theres nothing wrong with engaging in fiction of yourself.

I want to see more problematic factive positivity showcased through the enjoyment and accepting of oneself.

I started looking at 'fanart' of me on Pinterest today. It was so freeing and made me really happy. Some of the art, I really felt like was art of me and not him. I felt accepted. People sourced from fictional media make content of themselves all the time. It helps them. It could help us too. It helps me at least.

I'd love to start seeing more

#positivity post #problematic factive #problematic source #problematic introject #factive #plural community #introject #plural #system #sysblr #fictive #queued because i am asleep 😊

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otrtbs · 2 years

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L'ENFANCE NUE

PAIRING: JAMES POTTER X BASSIST! REGULUS

WORD COUNT: 2k

SUMMARY: Sirius drags the group to see his brother's band play a show. James loves what he sees.

"Sorry, sorry," James muttered as he let Peter pull him along the crowd of people gathered by the makeshift stage set up outside.

“Christ, and Sirius was worried no one would show up,” Peter shook his head, desperately trying to get to the beacon of blonde hair at the front that was Marlene McKinnon.

"Well, I'm excited. Sirius always goes on and on about his brother, but he's quite elusive, isn't he?"

"What?" Peter turned to look back at James quickly.

"I'm excited to see the band," James shouted in an attempt to be heard over the music thumping through the speakers.

They were at Evan Rosier's house. Though, house would be putting it lightly. It was more like they were at Evan Rosier's mansion to see Sirius' brother perform with his band. It was Evan who decided to make a night of it and through a party before the garage show.

Sirius had demanded that everyone show up to support Regulus and made them all promise to cheer and clap loudly in between each and every song. James and Peter were happy to do it, Remus needed thorough convincing to make an appearance on a Thursday night, and Marlene was in charge of rounding up all the girls.

"Oh thank God you're all finally here," Marlene grinned once they made their way to the front. "The band is about to go on and I swear I actually had to bark at people in order to save you a spot at the front. Get here earlier next time, would you?"

James waved to Lily who was standing on the other side of Marlene.

"Where's-"

"Mary's getting drinks," Marlene supplied, inferring the end of Peter's sentence. "She'll be back any minute."

"That's where Sirius and Remus went," Peter nodded, straining his voice to be heard above the noise.

All four of them talked among themselves for a moment, exchanging pleasantries, comments about the party, and remarks about the house.

"So the band name, l'enfance nue," James began. "Any idea what it means?"

Suddenly the technopop blaring through the speakers stopped and people James didn't recognize began setting up microphones and testing the drum set. James raised his eyebrows in surprise and caught Lily's eye. This seemed a little more professional than an impromptu garage show.

Lily only rolled her eyes in response mouthing, 'groupies' before returning her attention to Marlene.

"No clue what it means, but it's pretentious and French, so it's perfect for an underground band," Marlene nodded definitely. "They're bound to make it big with a name like that."

"Pretentious and French? I believe you called," Sirius grinned, passing plastic cups of slightly pink liquid down the row.

Mary must have found Sirius and Remus in the house because she was with them, also carrying cups in her hand.

"MacDonald," Peter grinned widely as Mary bounded over to him and wedged her way in between Marlene and Peter.

They began talking in an excited and rushed conversation, and James couldn't help but smile at the both of them fondly. Mary always was Peter's favorite, and the feeling was very mutual.

The air had a sharp chill to it as the sun had set many hours before and it was nearing the winter season, but one sip of whatever was in the cup Sirius had handed him warmed James right up.

"Sirius, what is this?" James could barely get the question out without sputtering as the sting made its way down his throat.

"Dunno," he shrugged. "It's Pandora's pink punch. She said she spent all day brewing it like a witch over her cauldron," Sirius laughed. "She wants to call it Lovestruck, but I'm very fond of the alliterative title."

James only nodded in response before taking another sip. He felt the warmth in his face almost instantly.

"My name is Evan Rosier, and this is my band, L'enfance Nue," Evan shouted into the microphone before running to take his place behind the drums.

People began cheering as the plucky sounds of an electric guitar began to reverberate through the speakers.

"Oh my God, oh my God," Marlene watched the guitarist step into the light. "Pandora, Pandora. Speak," her voice came out almost an octave higher than normal.

James was about to tell Marlene that Pandora wasn't with them when a soft and airy voice spoke from directly behind him.

"Dorcas Meadows. Lead Vocalist. Also on guitar. Never seen without those boots that go all the way up to your knees, fashion icon, glue of the group, and very single."

Marlene nodded rapidly to everything that Pandora was saying while never taking her eyes off Dorcas.

Another person came into view, playing an impressive riff on another guitar with an almost maniacal grin.

"Barty Crouch," Pandora said, still happy to be supplying information. She always seemed to know everything about everyone. "Jr. Lead guitarist. Incredible and he knows it and will make sure you know it too. Arrogance personified."

More cheers erupted from the crowd.

"Now we're just missing ah-," Pandora stopped speaking as plucky bass notes vibrated in James' heart.

Whatever James was expecting to happen tonight, whoever James imagined Regulus to be from Sirius' many stories of him, was rendered completely obsolete the minute Regulus came into view.

He was wearing a black jacket and let his curly hair fall in his face in a way that looked so effortless. He was biting his lip in concentration as he moved his fingers along the frets of the bass guitar.

Oh, fuck.

James was hardly phased by Sirius' extra loud scream for his brother.

"Regulus Black." Pandora was back in his ear again. "Bassist for the band. Thinks he's better than everyone else because he reads obscure literature and rolls his own cigarettes, amazing bassist but won't brag about it, and sometimes he'll just look at you with that look, and you'll know."

"What look? Know what?" James couldn't stop looking at Regulus as he did a little half spin to nod to Evan before he took his place next to Barty.

In a sing-songy voice, Pandora replied, "you'll see. He's single, by the way. You and McKinnon are wearing the exact same facial expression right now."

James felt his grip tighten on the plastic cup in his hand.

Regulus put his lips up to the microphone and since Marlene had managed to get them all to the front, James could see how beautifully pink they were. "My band," Regulus mumbled around the microphone with a smirk as Evan flipped him off behind his back with a smile.

"Hi everyone, my name is Dorcas Meadows. Thanks for coming out tonight," Dorcas began with a soft smile. "This song is called Motel Reflections. We hope you like it."

"Hey Sirius," James leaned to his left so his chin was practically resting on Sirius' shoulder. "How do you become a groupie?"

"What? Oh no," Sirius shook his head quickly as he punched James on the arm. "Pick your jaw up off the floor, James. And stop looking at my brother like that!"

Quickly, James snapped his mouth closed as Dorcas' hypnotic lilt carried on.

'Coming out from I don't know where. So unwise.'

Occasionally, Barty would join in singing. Regulus, however, was only focused on his bass guitar, bobbing his head along to the beat. James could only watch as his curls moved ever so lightly over his eyes. He could tell Regulus was concentrating, but he appeared almost bored with a completely calm expression and tired eyes. Effortlessly cool.

"Besides Regulus would destroy you. You're nice, you need nice," Sirius was still speaking.

"I'll be nice enough for the both of us," James responded, barely feeling his lips move.

It was still loud enough for Sirius to hear as he let out a loud snort.

"This one," Barty began and winked at a group of girls who were calling out to him as the first song ended. "This one I wrote myself. It's called Post Break-Up Sex."

The group of girls cheered once more as the next song began.

Barty had a nice voice. It was rough and a little gravelly which made it unique. In the back, Evan was beating on the drums with all his concentration. James tried to pay equal attention to everyone in the band, but his eyes always found their way back to Regulus.

Regulus' fingers, which were long and slender, strummed away. His black nail polish chipped slightly and a silver ring glinted on his thumb. His eyes traveled along Regulus' jawline, which would become more pronounced when he looked out at the crowd.

Dorcas began to sing a third song and then a fourth. James watched as Regulus' eyes scanned the front row, first landing on Sirius. He rolled his eyes affectionately and tried to hide his smile when Sirius waved enthusiastically to him. Then his eyes landed on James. James was practically vibrating under his stare.

In the most unsubtle way possible, Regulus' gaze lingered on James, looking him up and down slowly. Then, when James caught his eye, he smirked before returning his attention back to his bass guitar.

"I'm not making that up, right? I couldn't have imagined that," James spoke at last, desperately trying to hide the grin threatening to spill out.

"Fuck's sake, that idiot is doing this on purpose," Sirius shook his head. "No, James, unfortunately, you weren't dreaming. Pandora put your hands down," Sirius hissed.

James looked back just in time to see Pandora pointing to him with one hand and giving a giant thumbs up and a smile to Regulus with the other hand.

He wishes he could say he felt embarrassed.

The night carried on. Eventually, Sirius found himself entangled in Remus' arms, swaying to the beat. Lily was also in the same boat, swaying back and forth with Mary.

Ever so often, Regulus' eyes would flick over to meet James and James would have to do his best not to scream.

"I'm just saying," Marlene leaned closer to James to be heard over the music. She was still staring at Dorcas. James wasn't sure that she had blinked once since Dorcas came out, not that he was any better. "How cool would it be if we toured with the band? Me with Dorcas and you and Regulus. We could go to all their concerts and have backstage passes and-"

"They're not even famous," James interjected, smiling anyway.

"Not yet," Marlene huffed. "Manifest this with me, would you?"

James nodded in response. It would be cool.

"Uh," Regulus laughed into the mic after a few more songs. "This is the last song of the night. It's called Sensitivity."

He ran a hand through his hair and James felt his heart jump to his throat as Regulus smirked directly at him, raising his eyebrows. "We're L'enfance Nue and we want to thank you for coming out tonight."

Then to James' surprise, Regulus began singing. It was the only song he had sung the entire night, and his voice was otherworldly. James was positive he was ascending.

'Meet me in the backseat. Tell me that you love me. Please just be so caring to know that I'm here.'

"Anyway," Pandora rested her head on James' shoulder from where she was standing behind him. "Regulus wants to know if you're available after the show tonight."

"Hah," James scoffed. "And how could you know that?"

"Because he gave you the look."

"The look?"

"The one and only trademark Regulus Black look. Plus, I know you have butterflies in your stomach, don't lie. And I've been his friend long enough to read his mind. Don't worry he'll ask you after the show, I'm just giving you a warning so you can formulate a cool and calm response," Pandora laughed.

'All my sensitivity. Never let it get to me. Grabs me like a cavity. Brings me to a tragedy.'

Regulus continued to sing. James was free after the show. James was free every day for the rest of his life.

(The songs reference in this are as followed. Motel Reflections by Pro Teens, Post Break-Up Sex by The Vaccines, and Sensitivity by Worn-Tin if you want to give them a listen!)

#nat writes #l'enfance nue #if you like lady bird you might like this #james potter #regulus black #jegulus #actually this was just self indulgent #as is everything I do these days #hA #don't mind the typos or whatever i wrote this and refuse to reread it #it's not that deep #i actually made l’enfance nue my entire personality when I saw lady bird #it’s true #i am most definitely asleep btw #this is queued

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krysmcscience · 2 years

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In honor of the impending release of Tokyo Mew Mew New (and in very late celebration of the release of Tokyo Mew Mew Return), have this very dumb headcanon I have that does not in the least bit absolve Kisshu Quiche Kish of being a fantastically creepy douche. :D

Also I wanted an excuse to draw Kish and various others in brand new and/or stupid outfits I made up, because I have about as much self control as I like to think Kish does when he's within three feet of another person.

AKA None.

I will not be taking any questions about how I came to have this ridiculous and inane headcanon, and I cannot be talked out of this ridiculous and inane headcanon, because as far as my nonsense brain is concerned, this is just how a Kish do now. So...yeah. Have fun with that.