#i am purposely not tagging this post to avoid the drama i got into last time

[deannagrey]

Just Dare Me: Chapter 2 (1/4)

At the top of the New Year, I have a habit of reading old stuff. It's got me nostalgic so I started re-working some scenes from this book. You can read chapter one here.

Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

The dares started last semester when David and I finally accepted we’d be in one another’s lives whether we liked it or not. At the time, only one of his teammates had been dating mine. Now, that count was up to two….almost three if you included Ari’s on-and-off-again thing with a certain wide receiver. Since our group was slowly pairing off, we were often left on the sidelines during nights out.

It didn’t take long for me to realize David was the kind of guy who loved getting a rise out of anyone. He’d made it his mission to find all the wrong buttons to press. Apparently, my responses to him were some of his favorites.

Ari warned me not to engage when she noticed how irritated I got in his presence. But I couldn’t just stand around listening to his contrary nonsense.

“Sure, nihilism has its place in society,” I ranted to Ari and Covee in our kitchen. It might be too early for a philosophical debate, but David’s response to my well-thought-out discussion post had me seething.

After my call with my sister, he’d spend another forty minutes waiting for his clothes to dry. While I typed away on my laptop, he’d been typing away on his phone. It wasn’t until after he left that I realized he’d crafted a lengthy response to my post on hope in a capitalistic society. His response was three times as long as the requirement. He’d picked apart every one of my arguments without so much as an attempt to see my side of things.

“But we’re doomed if we think nothing matters,” I continued.

Ari stood at the breakfast bar, balancing on one leg while her foot rested on her thigh. Covee was at the microwave, trying to avoid eye contact because she didn’t like conflict in the morning.

“Doomed might be a strong word,” Ari disagreed in a calm voice. She sipped her green juice through a metal straw.

“You’re on his side?” I raised a brow, surprised. Ari was Miss. Cool, Calm, and Collected in times of stress. But, she had beliefs. She loved meaning. In her world, things had a purpose. I’d been to too many of her yoga classes, listening about the importance of breath and balance to not know that she believed in purpose.

“No, I’m not on anyone’s side.” She smiled and tossed a curly loc out of her face. “I’m just considering his viewpoint. You know, like you say people should.”

I huffed and grabbed my favorite mug. Covee hurried out of my way with her bowl of oatmeal. I hadn’t reached rampaged levels yet but I was getting close. As the coffee machine hummed, I grabbed a protein bar from the pantry.

“Whatever, I’m over it,” I mumbled.

“Really?” Covee looked surprised as she settled next to Ari at the breakfast bar.

Ari laughed. “No way. She’s outlining a nine-page opposition essay as we speak.”

“I am not.” I turned away from them, pretending to be focused on my brewing coffee so they wouldn’t read the lie in my eyes. How should I open my argument? With something subtle or go right for his jugular?

Jugular. The answer was always jugular.

“God, I wish I was in your class,” Ari mourned. “Witnessing the fights you two have would be worth the hefty credit price tag.”

Ari was the only one of my friends on campus who wasn’t enrolled in school. She’d taken her classes online from her college back home.

Each day Covee and I came back from in-person classes, she got amped on hearing about our campus drama — no matter how big or small.

“I’ll have you know, I’m well-behaved in class,” I promised.

Ari snorted. Covee tried to hide her smile by taking a big bite of food.

“I am. There’s no way I’m letting David Porter make me out to be some raging, argumentative know-it-all. There’s so much more to me than that.”

“Of course there is,” Covee agreed with a sweet smile.

I nodded. “Plus, I have to be on my best behavior because I represent something bigger.”

“Hope?” Ari teased.

“Ha ha.” I made a face. “I’m talking about the Black Women Development Circle. Check this out. Here are this year’s executive board sign-ups.”

I pulled out my phone and scrolled to the photo of our signup sheets. Ari whistled impressed while Covee gave me a round of applause.

“Not exactly overflowing enough so that we have to hold a vote with non-board members but still…I had an actual team this year! And I have a good feeling about them. They’re going to show up and do the work.”

“Oh my God, Yara,” Covee gushed. “That’s incredible. Every spot’s full?”

“Every single one.” My smile widened and my shoulders relaxed at the change in subject. Not talking about David was far better for my health. “Even our social media manager. I won’t have to bug you every weekend for poster designs.”

Covee rolled her eyes at my teasing. “You know I never mind. Besides, designing stuff for you gave me tons of practice and content for my portfolio. It was a win-win.”

“Since that’s the case…” I wiggled my brow. “Could I keep you on call? Just as a backup. No pressure, of course. I know mixing work and friendship is always a little dicey.”

Covee waved away my worries. “I’ll be on call for as long as you need. As far as I’m concerned, I’m your personal graphic designer now and forever.”

I beamed. “You’re the absolute best.”

“So, I’m assuming the ball’s a go?” Ari looked excited about the prospect. “I live for any excuse to dress up.”

“It’s a go--I just have to get a few other orgs on board. My pitch is airtight,” I said. “ I’m talking to a few other presidents next week. I’m planning out venues and entertainment next week with the girls. We’re voting on themes, too.”

“Can I toss gothic into the ring?” Ari asked. “I know a good recipe for a vegan red icing that drips like blood. I can make all the desserts.”

“That’s an option. Sure.” I laughed. “Covee, what about you?”

“Kind of like the idea of a regency ball. Cliche, I know, but for a reason,” she said with a shy smile.

“It’s cute. Classic.” I nodded and typed each of their suggestions into my growing notes list. Before I could relock my phone a text from Mr- Thorn-In-My-Side himself came through.

David: Don’t forget about tonight. A no-show means an automatic forfeit.

I scoffed and responded: I know what it means. I made up the rule. Why don’t you just worry your pretty face about your part of the dare? K?

David: She thinks I’m pretty. I’m blushing.

The thought of David blushing had me shaking my head. Long ago I was convinced because of his energy-sucking powers, he was a vampire and thus, incapable of changing shades.

“Don’t forget an umbrella,” Ari’s warning made me look up from my phone. “Rain’s on the forecast. Your hair looks too good to ruin.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I ran a hand over my Havana twists. They swayed down to my hips. The four-hour installation was more than worth it. I always felt ready for any and everything after my hair got done.

“Alright, ladies, I’m off to conquer the world. Do you need anything while I’m at it?” I poured my coffee from the mug into a travel cup.

“Mm, hearts of enemies make good broth I heard.” Ari winked.

“I’ll take weapons,” Covee decided. “My sculpture elective is killing me. I need something unique to impress my professor.”

“Done and done. Hearts and swords for my soulmates.” I grabbed my bag and the clear umbrella by the door. “I’ll see you guys for dinner. Love you two!”

“Love you!” they said in unison as I stepped out of the door.

#westbrookeangels

[sewingbear]

Quick List To Help Moving Around Tumblr

Highlight words in your post to made them look fancy. Wanna make things pop? Wanna change your mind on things?  Well there you go! Just selected the text you wanna use and hit what you want. There’s a way to change color of text and fonts but I still have no clue how to do that one. Example:

Shift + Enter to continue the same line of text/paragraph. Hit Enter to start a new line. When you start a new line you get the options to add media of your choice. The last one in the list is a Read More. Read Mores in my option are very important. It’s to hide bulk. You add it to your post and then anything under the line will be hidden and will only reveal it’s self if you click the read more button. Yes you can go on and on and on but most people fucking hate long posts. Hit read more and put your bulk under it. Such as long photos. Also important for hiding sensitive or NSFW information that could fall between the cracks of tag blacklist extensions. Great for wanting to vent in the open but also wanting to hide it.

Use one or all of these extensions to make you’re life easier on tumblr. These are are all free btw (Also hot tip words with underlines are words that have a link attached to them)

-XKit Rewritten. It adds a lot of features on to tumblr that make it easier to be on here. Google Shop Link and their GitHub here.  -Tumblr Savior. Blacklist and whitelist tags. Don’t want to see anything tagged as elon stinky musk? This one will do the trick. They also have setting to hide other stuff. Link to their website here -Shinigami Eyes. Google Shop Link It highlights users who have been mass reported as either Homophobic/Transphobic or someone who’s LGBT+ friendly.  This one works on Tumblr, Twitter, Youtube, Twitch, etc. I use this to know if someone is sus or not. If their name is red(Anti LGBT+) there’s a reason behind whether they want to admit it or not. Never ever message someone saying that they are reblogging from a lot of people who are highlight as anti LGBT+. As someone who’s been told and also warn other people it causes more drama then you think it would. Use it this one for yourself but don’t use it to police others.  -uBlock Origin. It’s an ad blocker that useful for any site. Google shop link

GET YOUR BLOG WEBSITE A THEME Here’s where I always get mine https://www.tumblr.com/roleplay-theme-recs

You can lock your likes and followers list so no one can see them. They’re in your settings to change them. I use it. I don’t like people seeing my likes because I don’t wanna people see how cringe I am.

If you notice a pattern of someone likes your posts and a different blog reblogs right after. It’s always the same two users back to back. Then it’s most likely that the reblogging blog is a side blog and the liker is their main blog. You can not like things via your side blog; thus seeing a different user popping up. Side blogs are other blogs with different handles that are connected to your main account. They are often made for the purpose to get one certain thing on that one blog to keep your main neat. Such as fandom or art related posts. For example, this blog is a side blog that I use for posting art and now I’m slowly making it also into my vtuber side blog. My art doesn’t get buried under whatever shitposts I’m putting on my main.  Some people get a whole new account to avoid the mismatch names on liking+rebloging. There are different pros and cons to side blogs and side accounts. Do whatever you feel like is best for you.   Another things about side blogs is you can attach other people to them. As in admins or moderators. So more than one person can share a side blog. 

I feel like that’s some basics that can got over most new people’s head. So there you go. I hoped the random advice helped someone. 

#there's some features that I still have no clue how to use #like the reply system makes no sense to me #long post #tumblr

[capn-james-t-spirk]

the worst part of whenever j*red does something dumb and starts trending or memes start getting made about whatever dumb shit he pulled this time, is having to watch his stans flood every single post that vaguely references him to defend him regardless of any context.

#im tired #9 times out of 10 a post about j*red will have at least one stan in the comments bending over backwards for him #like yall he is almost 40 years old and has spent decades in the limelight as a celeb #he doesnt need you defending him nor does any questionable shit he does get to be swept under the rug #l o r d #/ignore me #wank for ts #i am purposely not tagging this post to avoid the drama i got into last time #anti stan culture

[imaginesupply]

Homecoming - Chapter Four

(Gif's not my own.) 

Summary: The day has arrived, Captain Syverson is going home. For good, this time. He is going home to a civilian life he can hardly remember and a wife he barely knows, with memories of the war still fresh on his mind. Love might not be able to heal everything on its own, but it’s a good start.

Genres: Romance, drama.

Story warnings: Smut (always fully consensual), mentions of PTSD and nightmares and mental health, angst, hurt and comfort, fluff, mentions of war (minor), mentions of cheating (minor), mentions of pregnancy (very minor), police appearance (very minor), violence (very minor).

Notes:

-It’s my first time writing for one of Henry’s characters and I’m unsure I did Sy’s character any justice.

-This is a Capt. Syverson x OFC (Ada) story, written in 3rd person POV but OFC’s physical description is very limited so it could also be read as Capt. Syverson x Reader, I think.

-English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. Proofread, but not beta’ed. We die like men and all that.

-Timeline is a little wacky: The movie takes place in 2003 and the U.S. forces were withdrawn from Iraq in 2011, but I never set a precise date because I don’t think it’s essential for this story. However, some elements might not be realistic because if we set this story in 2003: Phone cameras quality was not as good as it’s now, but for the purpose of the chapters, I will need you to imagine you could film great videos with your flip phone haha. Plus, it says Sy is coming back after being deployed for more than three years which makes no sense unless we set this in 2006 or later. I am asking you disregard any time inconsistencies.

-Also: I am not American. I only lived in the US for six months and it was in the Midwest, not Texas so please bear with me if I write something stupid.

-Finally: This will be a Christmas fic and I intend to post the last chapter (there will be seven in total) on or before Christmas. However, religion is never mentioned in this story and the Christmas-sy elements of this story are limited to family gathering, gift giving and tree decorating.

Chapter Four starts after the cut. (Chapter Three can be found here.) Let me know if you wish to be tagged in future chapters or if you wish to be removed from the tag list.

Chapter Four

Chapter warnings: PTSD, angst (or as much angst as I’ll ever write), couple’s fight, outdated expectations of marriage (is that even a warning?), mentions of masturbation.

This chapter is a little different from the previous ones and it’s stitched together weirdly. Also, there’s no smut (which is unusual for me!), but Chapter 5 will be more humorous and lighthearted.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

“When’s your next leave?” Harper asked from behind the wheel, knowing better than to take his eyes off the sand road. He had been transferred to the Special Forces after the whole water pumping station incident, with Sy’s approval.

They were at the very back of the convoy, like always. It was the only way Sy was able to keep all the Humvees in sight and look out for everyone.

“Not sure I’m gonna be seeing home before July.” Sy replied, blue eyes scrunched up as he tried making something, anything out in the darkness surrounding them. Doing this scouting mission at night hadn’t been his idea, but the order had come from higher up and it was when the guards were at their lowest.

Harper smiled, a short huff escaping his chest. “Ah yes! What are you going do once you’re home for good?” The soldier asked, the tiniest hint of teasing in his voice. “Give your wife a small army of Texan babies?”

Sy scoffed, his chest shaking beneath the heavy protective vest. “Eyes on the road, soldier.”

“Yes, captain.” Harper chuckled even as he obeyed the command.

The rest of the drive went by in silence. The whole point of doing it at night was to be unseen and unheard. Confirm it was an armory so that an airstrike could later destroy it. Quick and easy.

Sy absentmindedly rubbed his finger through the thick glove, trying to feel the wedding band beneath. He never took the thing off, but it still somehow eased his mind to make sure it was there – make sure she was there across the ocean. They had talked on the phone the night before and he could still hear her shriek as she stubbed her toe on the doorframe whilst pacing around the house as she spoke to him. She wanted to order new tires for his pickup truck because she was afraid the current ones would be expired once he got back. He told her not to worry about any of that, but she insisted and then asked about Aika, changing subjects. No matter what they talked about, he always slept better after hearing her voice.

The landscape changed ever so slightly. They were there, right outside the deserted town’s walls. Sy gave everyone the order to pull up and get ready. It was only when he stepped out of the Humvee, his feet landing swiftly on the soft sand and the cold night’s air hitting his face, that he realized that Sy had been there already. He was dreaming again.

He had been there hundreds of times, taken the same steps, given the same orders and run away from the same explosion. After having the same nightmare night after night, the shock and the surprise element had lessened, but the dread remained unchanged. Sy was cursed to relive the same scene again and again, for moments even wondering if he lacked imagination so much that his mind was unable to come up with anything else.

Still, every night, he'd try changing the outcome, attempt to take control of his past self and make different decisions: refuse the mission, take a different team, catch Lieutenant Wilkins before he had a chance to run into the trap. It never worked. The result was always the same with him shouting for everyone to retreat and grabbing on to the back of Wilkins' uniform, trying to drag him out of the building, unsuccessfully. Then the telltale detonation followed, the building shook and they were thrown backwards with the explosion. When Sy landed on the concrete, there was a corpse - or what remained of it - on top of him. It was what had shielded him from the worst.

He once tried to warn Wilkins about the child's voice asking for help, to tell him it was a trap and that they needed to ignore it, but he was unable to speak. They were there, on the exact spot, a large room right down the stairs with no windows or lights, only three parted doors. Unlike the first time, the real time, he knew what was about to happen, through what door the grenade would be thrown out of before rolling on the dusty ground. And he went through it all over again.

It was the noise that alerted him the first time, the impact as it hit ground and then the rolling sound on the uneven surface.

"Retreat!" Sy heard his own voice shout loud enough for the rest of the team behind them to hear, then an echo of hurried, heavy footsteps followed.

He knew what happened then. Sy waited for the faint, unidentifiable cry for help and for Wilkins to blindly bolt towards the voice, the grenade.  He knew he'd unable to stop him this time just like all the others. What was the point of making him relive the same failure over and over again?

"Help!"

Sy froze on the spot, unlike all the other previous nights. This time it was not a random infantile voice. It was Ada's. She was crying out for help, for him.

This time it was him who dashed after the voice, the grenade exploding before he could reach her.

°°°

Ada thought that they had dodged the bullet, that they had somehow managed to avoid all the stuff she had crammed her head with when she had found out Sy was retiring from active combat sooner than expected. The notes she had taken, the websites she had visited, the therapists she had researched and ranked according to online reviews; she had started to think none of these would come in handy. Apart from that small incident when grocery shopping and the whole thing with Tom, Sy was okay, they were okay. Or so she thought.

It only took maybe eight days of Sy being back home to find out that wasn't true. It was almost like when you took a plane and fly halfway across the globe. The first days you’d eat dinner at 3am and go to bed three hours later and nothing felt real. Then it settled in. But this wasn't a spontaneous holiday or a mid-life crisis, this was an honorable discharge. Sy wasn't leaving behind an unsatisfying career, he was leaving the war.

He came home. They reunited, caught up with each other, basked in other's presence. Ada had to keep reminding herself that she could fall asleep at night without the anxiety of feeling like she was wasting away his leave with something as frivolous as sleep.

Only sleep wasn't frivolous, Ada soon came to realize. Sy slept well the first few nights back home. The exhaustion helped, so did sex. Sy would kiss her, roll over, pull her into his arms and fall right asleep after it.

That changed quickly. On the eight night, she woke up to pee hours before dawn only to find his side of the bed empty. She found him downstairs playing on his new console. It was the jetlag that made him unable to sleep, he said. Ada knew better, even as she acquiesced.

The following night, after making love and taking care of her, Sy didn't even bother pretending he was going to bed. "I won't be able to sleep anyways and I don't want to keep you up," he claimed, putting on a t-shirt and some sweatpants before going out for a run. It was past midnight.

After going two days with barely shutting his eyes, Sy did finally fall asleep in bed with her. Ninety minutes later, he was awake again.

"You okay?" Ada groaned softly, forcing her eyes open but it was too dark to see anything. She had woken up with his tossing and turning.

"Yeah, just go back to sleep," Sy replied dismissively, turning on his side and facing the window away from her.

Ada was about to do just that, believing his words in her incoherent sleepiness, when her hand touched his clammy back. He had managed to sweat through his t-shirt, but his skin remained icy.

"You're not okay," she whispered to herself before switching on her small bedside lamp and sitting up.

"I told you to go back to sleep, Ada," Sy protested, still facing away from her.

She shook her head softly and tried to pull him into her arms, but he was too heavy, and she couldn't move him without his help. "If something's wrong, you can tell me, you know."

She waited in silence for him to answer, to say something, anything at all. She had planned on watching podcasts, meeting with veterans and whatever she could do to help, but Sy had come home several months earlier than planned and she didn't know what to do, what was expected of her as a wife, as his partner, as his support person.

"Alright, you don't have to talk if you don't want to," she attempted quietly, sliding back into bed and moving in behind him, doing her best to be the big spoon for once. "We can just cuddle until you fall asleep."

Apparently, that turned out to be the wrong thing to say. Sy jumped out of bed as if her touch had burnt him. "I'm not a fucking child, Ada. I don't need your cuddles."

She flinched at his tone, taking a deep breath but her voice still came out strangled. "I was not implying you were a child, Sy. I just thought - no - I just hoped that you would find some comfort with me," she admitted but he was already getting dressed, sweaty skin and all. "Clearly I was wrong."

His face was red behind his full beard. He was pissed, she could almost feel him buzzing as he tried to restrain his anger and not - she didn't know what he was keeping himself from doing. Whatever it was, Ada was sure his next words hurt just as much as whatever he was initially going to do.

"I don't need you to fucking comfort me, woman!" He spat out, putting on a pair of boots. "I don't need anyone's help and certainly not my wife's!"

With that, he marched to the bedroom door, forcefully throwing it open. "I'm going out for air. Don't wait up for me."

They barely saw each other the next day. Sy texted that he was going to spend some time with his mom. Still hurt and offended, even though she knew this was not about her, Ada left for the day without telling him her whereabouts.

She took her car and drove to the animal shelter to help out. No one was expecting her there, but they gave her some work to do and it did help her feel better for a couple hours at least. But it was barely noon when she was done and she refused to go home, meeting up with friends instead. None of them asked why she wasn't at home practically glued to Sy. They were used to their friend pretty much vanishing off the face of the Earth whenever Sy came home for two or three weeks, but they were wise enough not to question it.

His words had stung. Ada was aware he had been mad, and that people always said dumb stuff when they were mad, but she did find some truth in his words. Why would he need her comfort? Her help? Or even a wife at all?

Sy had lived thirty-three years without knowing her and then three more married to her but living continents' apart. He could command soldiers, lead missions, plan attacks and whatever it was that he also did back in Iraq. The house was his, his mom would be overjoyed to cook for him and do his laundry again if he didn’t want to do it himself and Ada didn't kid herself - if he wanted sex, all he had to do was walk into a bar.

So, technically speaking, she knew Sy didn't need her. He was a grown ass man who could survive on his own better than ninety-nine percent of the population. What had hurt her was that he didn't want her, nor her help or her comfort. And if he didn't want her to try and make his life a lil' bit better, what was even the point.  Ada didn't know and all the cocktails she consumed didn't provide an answer either, but they did end up forcing her to eat almost her own weight in food to soak up all the alcohol before driving back home at ten.

She was still fishing out her keys to open the front door, when Sy pulled it open with so much force, it almost flew off its hinges.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Sy shouted as soon as she set a foot inside.

"I was out with friends.” Ada took off her shoes by the door. "How's your mom?" She looked up only long enough to find him staring down at her with his thick arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I sent you a dozen texts and called you just as many times, but you never picked up." Oh, his tone had switched to that unsettling calm before the storm.

"I apologize, my phone was on silent," Ada replied. It was true, though she had still noticed his calls and texts. "Look I am tired, and I am going to take a shower." She said before walking upstairs to their bedroom.

To her surprise, Sy followed her up, stopping only at their room’s threshold as if he weren’t allowed inside without her forgiveness. "I am sorry for yesterday," he sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

“It’s okay.” Ada shook her head, undressing rapidly and balling up her dirty clothes to throw them in the hamper. She smelt like a whole bar and she was desperate for a shower.

“I didn’t mean it, what I said,” he added, finally walking inside the room but still keeping his distances.  

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” She reassured him, disappearing inside the en-suite. This was just a fight. Couples had them all the time. Sy had even apologized. “I am sorry too. For today.”

His voice startled her, Sy was closer than she had expected. “Do you have need for me?” He asked, making her still as she bent down to fetch some fresh towels from the drawer. Did she have need for him? Ada frowned even though he couldn’t see her face. She heard him sigh again behind her.

"I felt useful back in Baqubah. I ran that city, commanded soldiers, gave my country something and then an explosion happens, two of my men die. And you know what they do? They send me home. Not to punish me for fucking up; they send me home because they thought I had witnessed enough shit and deserved an honorable discharge. Whatever the reason, my services weren't needed there anymore."

"Then I come home to my wife, to you, Ada. And you know what?” He asked before providing the answer himself. “The doors don't screech, the mirror has been replaced and my wife doesn’t even need me to take her out on dates or to the movies because she already has someone for that. So really, what's my goddamn purpose here? The house doesn't need me. You don't need me. Even my mother doesn't need me what with her new boyfriend. So why the fuck did I come back?"

He paused and Ada took it as a chance to stand up and face him. She didn’t know what this was. His voice wasn’t loud, he wasn’t shouting, and his posture didn’t appear hostile. They weren’t arguing, this was something different. “That’s not-” Sy cut her off.

"Then, last night, I realize that while you don't need me, I sure as hell need you, Ada. And that's not how I imagined my marriage would be. I should be the provider. I should be taking care of you, not the other way around."

"This is not the 1950s, Sy," Ada chuckled faintly despite herself.

"That don’t matter. It's how I was raised: preside, provide and protect. I don't care about the presiding part; I knew from day one that I'd never be able to boss you around and I didn't want to. But I still very much believe in providing for and protecting what's mine, and instead, you're the one doing that. So, not only did I fail my men back in Iraq, but now I’ve failed you too."

“No. Stop right there.” Ada interrupted him, more forcefully than intended. "Okay, first, you never failed me. Don’t you ever say that.” Sy huffed from his spot by the door, clearly unconvinced but she was determined to get this out. “Second, I... I think you need to stop settling for being needed and instead accept that you are loved, at least by me."

Sy stiffened against the doorframe, his face taking over an unreadable expression beneath his beard. Shit. Did she mess up again? "Did I say something wrong?"

He didn’t reply right away. Ada took a few steps to him when his words took her by surprise. "You said you loved me."

She stopped in her tracks, opening her mouth and closing it again a few times, stammering. Confusion was evident on her face. "Well, yeah."

"You've never said it before," Sy explained, the hint of a smile on his lips.

Ada frowned, a little unsteady on her feet as she thought back. "Are you certain? I'm pretty sure that is what I ended all our phone calls with."

He shook his head. "I meant in person.”

"Oh, I never realized.”

The cold bathroom tile floor was not the place either of them would have picked out under different circumstances, but it was where Sy finally allowed himself to be cuddled into the warmth of her embrace for the first time, his head resting against her naked breast with her slow heartbeat lulling him into a different kind of peace. “I do love you, Sy.”

Ada was no fool, this wouldn’t soothe all his troubles, but for now, it was a start. And that was all she could ask for.

°°°

Sy sat down on the chair in their study. Most walls were covered with Ada’s textbooks from floor to ceiling. He huffed at the sight. If you’d told him five years ago that he’d end up with an academic wife, he’d have laughed in your face. Now, he tested touched the shelves, watching them wobble slightly and decided he ought to build her something sturdier.

First, he had to take care of some administrative bullshit for the new job he'd be starting at Camp Marbry in January. He had always hated bureaucracy but there was no escaping it. He had learned it the hard way as a private. Maybe it was also time he started going through their utilities folders. Ada had taken over all of it when they got married, managing their bank accounts and paying the bills. Sy hadn't taken of that shit in years but he probably should relieve her of some of those chores.

His eyes wandered over to the neatly organized shelves under the office desk, trying to find the correct binder when his attention landed on what appeared to be a fancy silver notebook. Was that the one Tom had mentioned?

Sy knew he shouldn't go through her stuff, but he was curious and it was not like she had hidden it or anything. Ending his hesitation with a shrug, he picked up the notebook only for stray bits of paper to immediately fly out and land on the carpeted floor. "Shit!"

He bent down and gathered them all up quickly in his hand, lest Ada find out he was snooping and chide him like a soldier. He sat back on the chair and started reading through some of the bits and slips of paper he had caught: "shaving gel not cream!", "dog treats (the fancy ones)", "boxer briefs in L"... They were all dated too. Sy figured they were just old shopping lists until he opened the notebook.

The first part appeared to be a logbook of sorts with notes about each and every one of their calls for the past year. Sy went over some of them, grinning despite himself. He never imagined Ada took notes during their weekly phone calls.

"Sy says it's really cold at night in the desert."

"He seems a little down..."

"Aika has a sweet tooth." Damn, he missed that dog!

“Explosion. Two men dead.”

He skipped over the next few pages, remembering it all too well. After the logbook part, came a set of lists, all dated. "The monthly care packages," Sy realized, reading through them and concluding that this was where the bits of paper had fallen from.

All the care package lists were cross-referenced with the calls logbook. Sy had never understood how she always managed to send him exactly what he needed. He wasn't even aware that he had mentioned most of these small things to her. Most of the time, he didn't even understand how she managed to fit so much stuff into those small USPS boxes. Whenever he tried putting everything back in the cardboard box for safekeeping, half of it didn't fit back inside.

He flipped through a few more care packages before landing on a particularly long list. The date was highlighted, it was the package he had received on the month of his birthday. Ada had made him promise not to open it before the 18th. “You can open the box, but I will know if you open the present before your birthday, Sy,” she had warned him on the phone, trying to sound very stern.  “And if you do, I’ll come to Iraq just to whoop your ass.” He had laughed so loudly, Harper had knocked on his door to make sure he was alright.

Sy laughed again as he went over the list, remembering how the private from the deliveries and postal department kept on complaining because packages this big were 'not usually authorized' and that he was getting 'favor treatment' because he was captain and that Ada shouldn't even have been allowed to ship a box exceeding the maximum dimensions. Sy had taken the package from the soldier and asked if he fancied a trip to the infirmary. That had shut him up quickly.

There had been candy (no chocolate because it had melted through its packaging once when she had tried sending him some), gum, the two first James Bond novels, dog treats, a new photo of his niece and nephew, underwear that was way too fancy for him and a handwritten letter from Ada.

What had immediately caught his attention was the very neatly wrapped gift box with a big red bow and a small card that reminded him once more not to open it until his birthday and only when he was alone.

Sy laughed, remembering how giddy he was to open that damn box. They'd gone on a recon mission on his birthday and when they got back, everyone was exhausted and dirty. He had hurried to the showers, cutting off some soldiers and then rushed to his private room to open the gift.

In all his adult life, Sy could only remember blushing three times, two of them the same day. First was when Ada said 'I do’ and he tried sliding the ring on her finger, but nervous and tipsy like he had been, the damn tiny thing slipped off his hand and fell on the carpet. Second was when the limo supposed to bring them back to their hotel was caught up in traffic, and the two of them decided to get it on in the chapel's storage room while another couple was getting married. Not only did they promptly – and accidentally, might he add – knock over all the props, he literally ended up fucking her through the cheap and unstable dry wall. The look on the couple’s face had been priceless!

The third time was on his birthday. Inside the box, he had found a handful of professionally made photos of Ada in lingerie and sometimes not even that much. If that didn't have his mind spinning and his dick throbbing after so many months away, he certainly couldn't believe his eyes when he found a small tube of lube and a transparent fleshlight.

It was not the gift as such that made him blush. The photos had him beyond excited and he was all too eager to try out the fleshlight. No, the embarrassment only settled in afterwards. More specifically when Sy remembered that despite having a private room as a captain, the washrooms where shared and he found himself cleaning the fleshlight in the sink with the little water they had, hoping no one would see him.

"Oh shit!"

Sy jumped in his chair at her voice, he hadn't heard her get home, let alone upstairs.

"Fuck. You weren’t meant to see that, Sy.” Ada babbled, quickly walking up to him with a sheepish look on her face.

Sy smiled, interrupting her as he seized her hips and pulled her down to sit on his lap. "It’s okay, darlin'."

Ada's eyes widened incredulously. "Really? You’re not even mad at me for meeting with a therapist to get advice?"

Sy closed his eyes, nostrils flaring for a moment. Right. Admittedly, he had not yet made it to that part but while he wasn't exactly keen on discussing his private life with strangers, he felt no anger at finding out that Ada had tried to look after him. Her words from last night had somehow made it through his thick skull.

"No, I'm not angry, not even for that. I know you were just trying to-"

Sy opened his eyes again at her silence only to find his wife grinning like the Cheshire cat as she looked at the open page on the notebook.

"You didn't even make it that far, huh?" She chuckled, pointing at the list. "Nope, you were still stuck with that ridiculous birthday gift I gave you!" While her tone was accusatory, Sy could see that she was trying not to burst out laughing.

Rolling his eyes, he pried the notebook from her hands and set it down on the desk. "It was not a ridiculous gift. I kept it all," Sy reassured her, pressing her body closer to his. "Well, not the lube. That was gone in weeks. And the photos are definitely a little used now but-"

Ada kissed him out of the blue, shutting him up. "Sy, I really love you but you're giving me secondhand embarrassment right now."

The bear of a man laughed, holding ever impossibly tighter before kissing her forehead. "I love you too, wife." Then, another thought crossed his mind. “Do you think it’s possible to send a care package to a dog?”

@colourmeinblue​ @hail-horror-queen​ @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl​ @kmuir1​ @madbaddic7ed​ @coffeebreathy​ @purplelove75​ @summersong69​ @helenaellie​

#henry cavill smut #syverson smut #henry cavill x reader #syverson x reader #henry cavill x ofc #syverson x ofc

[dotthings]

I’m not using the spn or supernatural tags any more, as mitigation where I still can post what loved about it without contributing so much to the “all buzz is good buzz” rewarding its overall profile after the finale failed so many of us. For tagging and blacklisting purposes, i’ll be using #The15YearShow. The character tags I am most likely to use are Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Destiel, Wayward Sisters, Team Free Will, Saileen. Unlikely I will ever use the “mildew” tag again which I used for spn related wanks but if you want to avoid seeing any drama just in case, blacklist that tag.

A reminder that I’ve been in spn fandom for 15 seasons and I have never seen this many fans, across lanes, so hurt all at once. It’s not because spn ended. There are a host of issues with that finale, and this outcry isn’t driven by any one faction’s lenses.

The fandom was divided over Dabb era, but you could find as much love as anger. The series finale reaction otoh is more overwhelming leaning towards fans hurt by it. This had made a deep ripple effect across factions that don’t even get along with each other. The most prevailing sentiment I am seeing is fans feeling hurt, crushed, flattened, disappointed, baffled, confused, stunned, puzzled. We got a whole thesaurus up in here. Who knows what our feelings are doing. On top of processing the enormity of a show with this long a run, with this kind of emotional engagement, ending. 

There’s a lot of deer in headlights for me with this finale because I loved S15 so much. I got what TPTB were doing, I supported and defended the writers room, and I’m not rescinding any of that or my character-based metas. Something, somewhere went bafflingly wrong, that finale didn’t fit the build-up all season.

The disparity between a dynamic, expansive, subversive and warmly character-driven season vs the bafflingly short-changed, oddly muted emotionally (minus Dean’s death scene), oddly paced finale is so jarring it’s making my teeth ache. The finale did harm to Sam, Dean, and Castiel’s arcs in ways that don’t fit what the season had been doing, it lodged found family down to a footnote, abandoned two crucial-to-season-plot canon love stories, rendered a disabled character portrayed by a disabled actor into a faceless anywoman for the sake of plot servicing so Sam can have a son, flung Cas, a now confirmed queer character, off screen at the last minute (with many fans refusing to believe he wouldn’t return because how would that make sense), harming his individual arc and harming Destiel, which is the second biggest focal relationship in canon after the bro bond, and was an A-plot in S15. The finale was so aggressively bathed in nostalgia, so reductive to Dean’s arc especially, so regressive, despite the rebuilt Heaven ending, it feels like the story sacrificed its own story for the sake of mourning the past instead of the sense of freedom and moving into the future that seems to be the actual intent. 

Oh and covid doesn’t explain it. Because covid wouldn’t prevent them from adding more dialogue, doing some ADR, adding photographs, adding name-drops, doing other infodumps if they couldn’t get actors to set. Covid doesn’t explain Castiel’s absence. Given how crucial Cas is to the story right along, having his role in the series finale of the entire show be so expendable it could be cut out due to the needs of covid regulations, or it was never planned as necessary, is an unforgiveable story sin, plus making no sense. There was a large number of people on that bridge in the final bts group season shot and you’re telling me they couldn’t swing putting a massively beloved main character who is the third lead on this show into this series finale. No. And I wish the crew of The 15 Year Show and adjacent accounts would stop acting like covid explains it.

There’s some good things in the very end, once they get to remade heaven. Some hope and promise for the future, but that doesn’t change the string of fails as to what wasn’t on screen. Pulling out those gossamer spots of comfort is a triage.

#The15YearShow #lololol i just realized i am doing the 'not speaking to you' thing with this show #i can't just cut it out of my heart #but i will not speak its name #tell The 15 Year Show to pass the salt #The15yearshowmeta

[hellroots]

『 MOBILE FRIENDLY RULES 』

— here you will find my rules or can also find them on my gdocs as well once i’m done with it. please like this if you read it, but otherwise don’t interact with this post, thank you. rest assured that i always read my moots rules before following and that i fully expect the same courtesy. i tried not to let them get too long but feel free to ask me anything you wanna know about them if it’s not clear ok?

 『 THE MUN』

NOXTROMUN, THEY/THEM, 21+, BRAZILIAN

shy but friendly ! i don't follow for follow, if i follow you that means i've read your rules and want to write with you. i have no triggers nor squicks of my own except drama in the dash, for that reason i do not engage in callouts/witch hunts and if you do it on a constant basis i might have to hard block you for my own peace of mind. although i may come off too strong/harsh, i am always up to talking things out privately. as long as you are civil, so am i. any form of hate will be deleted and blocked -  sometimes mocked, if i’m feeling cocky…

『 THE BLOG』

HELLROOTS, INDIE ( POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING AND NOT MINOR FRIENDLY ), HIGHLY SELECTIVE & PRIVATE MULTIFANDOM MULTIMUSE

primarily run on a low activity \ effort and with a slow speed.. my muselist changes a lot, depends a lot on what i’m watching lately so bear with me please. this is a drama free zone, therefore do realise that mun ≠ muses and (obviously) writing ≠ condoning !! as a quick note, do keep in mind that my blog is my safe space, just as your blog is yours - you are responsible for your own internet experience just as i am responsible for mine. should anything in my blog annoy/trigger/squick you, i strongly encourage you to block me & not write with me - your mental health is far more important ( for me, and hopefully for you as well ) than rp. on that note, please do not softblock me - that’s annoying, just hardblock please.

『 THE TRIGGERS』

TRIGGER HEAVY, PROPERLY TAGGED AND TAKING NO CRAP

i  usually  tend to write for trigger heavy fandoms (such as asoiaf, kingdom and others) and may incorporate some of it into my writing, muses' backgrounds and overall characterization. if you're bothered \ squicked \ triggered by that, i kindly encourage you to reconsider and not follow me. no amount of rp fun is worth your mental health.  i try to tag everything accordingly and i fully expect the same courtesy for our followers' sakes. be aware that there may be mentions of death, gore, violence, consanguinamory \ endogamy (especially when it comes to the lannisters and kekkei genkai clans), rape ( kingdom, though it will only be mentioned on the character’s backstory ) and cannibalism ( hannibal and kingdom ) , as well as unhealthy relationships and dynamics alongside with powerplay, and otherwise bad behaviours.  for all that is sacred, please, do note that i, the mun, do not approve, support or condone any of these actions or behaviours !!  i simply am capable of separating fiction from reality. as long as everything is properly tagged, with mutual consent and there are no minors involved (muse and especially not muns), . i support the right of a consenting adult to explore these awful dark topics in a safe fictional environment with other like minded consenting adults, people shouldn’t have to share their traumas to strangers on the internet to explain why they write what they write, be considerate. if that notion bothers you perhaps you might not want to interact with me, for both of ours sakes. fair warning, most of my graphics and aesthetics might trigger those who have xylophobia/hylophobia (phobia of trees or wooded areas), and considering it is a main theme here i will not be tagging it, i'm sorry. but its too many. however, if you want me to create a special tag for you, there's no issue! it will be either "[your mun name] don't look!" or "[your url] don't look!", whichever you prefer. QUICK EDIT/ADDITION: i do not believe that aging up fictional characters is inherently a bad thing - from what i understand, the whole appeal of aging up a character is that while you like their personality but you do not want them to be kids (for whatever reason) but insteasd adults. if you are one of those who think that aging up a character is automatically something bad (without even knowing why it was done in the first place) don’t bother following me because i do think that opinion is quite silly.

『 THE INTERACTIONS』

OC, DUPLICATE, MULTIMUSE AND CANON DIVERGENT FRIENDLY

my tagging system is simple, i tag triggers as "tw; x" and . images that may be sensitive or triggering as "cw; x". you can further see how my tags work by taking a look at my tag dump post, just search ‘tag dump’ on my blog and you will find the most recent one i’m using.    i shitpost and talk oocly on the dash constantly but you can easily blacklist my tag if it bothers you.  here's something you should know about me:  when i'm doing drafts i usually don't feel like chatting much, so please do not spam me because i won't be able to reply, i love to talk with my moots but sometimes it overwhelms me.  on that note, please don't pester me for replies ic or ooc, i am slow and chances are that if you try to guilt trip me or just nag me about it i'll leave as the ones i'll get to in the later end on purpose, just out of spite. yes, i be like that.   please be patient - i’ll never pressure you and expect the same in return.  plotting wise: i prefer to just wing it with just a faint idea of where to take the thread but honestly i'm cool with anything. please be considerate when formatting your replies, i have a bad eyesight & if i can't read it, i won't bother with it.   my own formatting is simple and clean.   on a smaller note, please bear with me and my muses as my muses ramble a lot but you don't have to match the length, just give me something to work with. if we write together, the chances of me making edits/tagging you in stuff are really big, just lmk if you don’t like that though !

『 THE FLEET』

MOSTLY BI/PAN MUSES, MULTISHIP AND MULTIVERSE, SMUT FRIENDLY

i love shipping but i like my ships to be devices to move the plot/dynamics/muses forward, every once in a while though i partake in some much loved self indulgent shipping. just because i ship a certain pairing don't presume that my characters are approaching yours with second intentions, please.   most of the time i like to reblog those relationship memes, so if you’re interested in a ship the best way (other than  sending me a message ofc) to let me know is by sending ones. there will be some triggering ships here ( like the lannisters, both cersei x jaime and joanna x tywin are my otps, and potential inter clan ships, like with the hyugas - i mean how the hell you think they keep the byakugan in their family?? ) that may either be played with trusted friends or be mentioned/reblogged sometimes, all properly tagged so you can easily blocklist/avoid it.  most of my muses are either bi or pan, those who are not will be specified. don't be afraid to reach out to me for shipping right off the bat - i'd rather have you to be open and honest with me about the interactions you want than lying to me, just know that there will be needed some plotting and threading first to see if your muses match. as an adult, my blog is smut friendly, i partake in sexual sunday a lot because some of my muses are very lewd in nature, you can blacklist my tag if that bothers you as well.

『 THE FINAL NOTES』

GENERAL RP ETIQUETTE APPLIES, CREDITS, THANK YOU FOR READING MY RULES

lastly but not least, general rp etiquette applies on my blog: no godmodding, forced ships, etc. there’s only ONE thing that truly makes me go apeshit crazy, and it’s when people don’t read my rules. i ALWAYS find out and it’s not pretty; i block it like it’s hot, ♪ ♫ ♬ block it like it’s hot ♪ ♫ ♬.   i strongly assure you that i always read your rules before both following you and also before sending memes, just in case. on a much smaller note, i’m not so hot on single shipping and i really feel weirded out about people forcing me to pic who i’m going to interact with due to theirs DNI’s. while i get DNI’s when it comes to actual predators, when it’s something seemingly random chances are that i’ll softblock you because it weirds me out how volatile some can be when it comes to a hobby. i have some trigger heavy hcs ( for example, the one about jiraiya’s hypersexuality being rooted in trauma that he suffered at a young age ) that i share with only a few muns that are closer with me, so i’ll be mentioning them every once in a while but won’t share them, please don’t insist.  i don’t really like most of the main characters of the franchises i write for, and when it comes to certain characters  i reserve the right to decline an rp for my own comfort. for further info on what i use to make my graphics please check my “CREDITS.” tag.  most of my stuff is made by me, i’ve got a lowkey rph in case you wanna check it out it’s @brazucahelps, however if you want a custom content i can see if i get a free time to come up with something :D

 IF YOU READ THIS FAR, THANK YOU SO MUCH — JUST ONE LAST THING, COULD YOU PLS LIKE THIS SO I KNOW YOU’VE READ IT? <3 THANKS!

#RULES.

[alwaysmychoices]

Hey, would you consider writing number 12 from the prompt (things you said when you thought I was asleep or something like that) for Ethan and Charlie, please? Thank you!

I got a few of these, so I’m actually writing another one from Ethan’s POV that I’ll post later. But for now, I hope you enjoy this short fic.

things you said prompt list

A Whisper in a Silent Night

Synopsis: In the early, uncommitted days of their relationship, Charlie makes a bold confession because thinks Ethan is asleep...

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlie)

Words: 1k

Rating: PG

It was late – too late to be awake.

Charlie stared at the ceiling, silently begging to be lulled back to sleep. Not even the most desperate of pleas seemed to work.

She passively looked to her phone on the bedside table next to her. It told her it was already three am. Her alarm was set for six.

Then, she looked to her side – to Ethan.

He slept peacefully. She found that, when she slept in his bed, he often slept well. In the morning, he seemed more rested when he offered her coffee. He was even nicer during rounds.

Secretly, Charlie credited herself with Ethan’s apparent improvement. She never asked, of course. She didn’t even dare comment on it. Still, she liked to think of it as proof that she made him happy. She felt silly for treasuring it, maybe even a little juvenile.

Ethan Ramsey often made her feel silly.

It wasn’t on purpose. He wasn’t even aware he was doing it. He thought he was doing quite the opposite, actually. He valued her as a doctor and took the necessary steps to bolster her confidence with bigger and better cases. Privately, he encouraged his colleagues to select her for their cases as well, bragging about her intelligence and capability. More than once, he told Naveen that she would soon surpass him in accomplishments and expertise.

He was proud of Charlie.

But that wasn’t how he made her feel silly.

No, she never felt disrespected or disregarded professionally. He never doubted or undermined her. He respected her, and she knew it.

No…

It was the way he smiled at her – those rare, private smiles where his eyes lifted and warmed. And the way he put his hand on the small of her back when he walked with her. And how his hand brushed against hers when he brought her a cup of coffee in the morning.

Those moments made Charlie’s world stop turning. Her heart stopped, and her face flushed. There was this feeling in her chest that, no matter how hard she tried, she could never really describe. It was… warmth and expansion and affection and…

Whatever it was, Charlie spent the last month trying to understand it.

It only came with Ethan. It only came when they were together.

She said she didn’t know what it was.

But she did.

Right now, as she looked at him sleeping beside her, she knew exactly what it was.

Charlie shifted on her side so that she could look at him better. The bedroom was dim, but there was just enough light for Charlie to distinguish the strength of his features. The lines between his eyebrows – which she affectionately deemed his worry lines – settled when he was sleeping. He was peaceful. He was vulnerable.

It almost felt wrong to look at him like this.

She didn’t know if she had the right.

Everything between them was so messy and undefined. Even these last few weeks – these perfect, wonderful weeks – were marred with trepidation. Charlie was too afraid to ask for a label. She worried it would ruin everything and that this delicately balanced relationship required ambiguity to survive.

Charlie wasn’t his girlfriend, but she was the one to share his bed. She helped him cook in his apartment, and she knew his morning coffee order. She sobbed in his arms on her deathbed, and he held her all night.

She was something. She just didn’t know what it was.

She wasn’t sure if Ethan knew either or if he could tell her if he did. She didn’t even know if he thought about it. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe this uncertain dynamic was enough for him. Maybe he looked at her and hoped they could stay like this – free from complications and drama.

Maybe he didn’t really think of her…

There was horrible fear in the back of her mind that this whole thing was one-sided and unrequited.

She told herself that she avoided these conversations out of respect for Ethan and his past. He spent nearly four decades avoiding commitment. He was still working through trauma, and she didn’t want to rush him. She couldn’t expect him to change everything overnight. He was never going to be the man making grand declarations on the third date. She knew that, and she picked him anyway.

Because she knew what that feeling in her chest was.

It was love.

She loved Ethan.

She didn’t mean to. She didn’t even want to!

She wanted to be the girl casually slipping into his life, unencumbered by strong emotions. She wanted to remain unbothered by the ambiguity. She wanted to just enjoy the moment.

But she didn’t.

Because almost every night, there was a moment where she wanted to say it.

She always stopped herself just in time. Just before she could make some unwarranted proclamation, she reigned herself in and changed the subject to something safe.

But she still wanted to say it.

So, so much.

Finally, she did.

“I love you,” Charlie whispered quietly into the silent night.

Ethan stirred slightly, and Charlie’s face twisted into pure panic. She watched in horror for any further signs that he had woken up.

But his eyes were still closed. His breaths were even. His expression hadn’t changed at all.

He’s asleep, Charlie decided with relief.

Charlie took a rough, deep breath to settle herself and ease the anxiety building in her chest. He hadn’t heard her. She hadn’t ruined anything.

When she felt calm enough, she looked back in his direction, and this time, she felt… peace. Like, until now, those three words had been weighing heavily on her heart and were suddenly gone. She was free. She didn’t need to fear them anymore.

Charlie moved closer to Ethan, pulling his free arm around her, and she relaxed into his side. Only a few minutes later, she found sleep again.

But Ethan?

Ethan was awake.

He cautiously opened his eyes and surveyed the woman in his arms. She was peaceful, more so than he’d ever seen her be. And she loved him.

Ethan wondered if he’d even heard her correctly.

He was still half-asleep then. Maybe he’d imagined the whole thing.

Deep down, he knew he hadn’t. He knew she said it. And most dangerous of all, he knew he loved her, too.

Tag List:

@schnitzelbutterfingers @curiousconch @starrystarrytrouble @jessirosebud @lucy-268 @aestheticartsx @eramsey28 @macy-ray85 @octobereighth @queencarb @claredal424 @mercury84choices @drariellevalentine @wonderwithrobin @honeyandsunfl0wers @iemcpbchoices @queenbirbs @stateofgracious @kalogh @paulfwesley @canigetanawwjunk @blossomanarchy @lion-ess24 @hopefulmoonobject @caroldxnvxrs @senseofduties @chasingrobbie @rookieoh @delaytheinevitable @mooons-isabelle @rookie-ramsey @thegreentwin @lifeaskim

#Ethan Ramsey #Open Heart #Open heart 2 #choices #pixelberry #ethan ramsey x mc #prompt list #ask

[actuallyvady]

I posted 9,479 times in 2021

107 posts created (1%)

9372 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 87.6 posts.

I added 136 tags in 2021

#lol - 34 posts

#ahahahahaha - 15 posts

#personal - 13 posts

#ahahaha - 11 posts

#ahahahahahaha - 11 posts

#wot spoilers - 11 posts

#i love him so much - 11 posts

#mood - 11 posts

#ahahahaha - 10 posts

#i love him - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#i'm obviously very tired today but the sheer silliness of chess champions playing stupid openings because they think it's funny...

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Last week I posted about saying goodbye to our 18 year old beloved cat...

... this week I am here to introduce you to the new babies in the family, lol

We have always had at least two cats; this was more important when we didn’t all stay home basically all the time (I live with my folks and they are both retired now), but we still generally prefer it. So we knew we would be adopting soon.

I was not expecting this, but I do not mind:

They are sisters, 11 weeks old and from the same litter. The shelter had them isolated from the other kittens because they had ear mites, so we’ll have to be very careful about quarantine until that is taken care of (their last treatment is schedule for a week from now, so it won’t be too long) so our other cat doesn’t get them.

They are a little shy, but very sweet. At least one will be a talker-- she yelled at us the whole drive home. I think they might be social eaters, as they ignored their food until I was just chilling in the room with them, after we got them home.

We hadn’t really planned on two, so we hadn’t picked names, but then my mom jokingly called them Soju and Makgeolli and, well, it stuck. So here they are.

This is Soju:

She’s actually the explorer, the less skittish of the two, who didn’t mind the drive.

This is Makgeolli:

She spent more than half of the 40 minute drive home expressing her displeasure, loudly.

It has been 18 years since we have had a kitten in our house. I am delighted by them.

13 notes • Posted 2021-10-29 23:04:07 GMT

#4

The year Sir Terry died, our local comic con happened to take place over the weekend of the Glorious 25th of May. I didn't have a lot of time to throw anything together, but being Vetinari was still one of my favorite things. Very few people recognized it, but those that did were so happy, it made the lack of attention from others worth it.

13 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 16:26:07 GMT

#3

Annoying niche experience: watching a korean drama on Netflix and being really annoyed that there are no subtitles when they speak English

14 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 16:26:42 GMT

#2

@chaos-in-the-making this is my car, his name is Huaisang. I even got custom license plates for him:

... which is one of the author's nicknames for him-- it means "Director Nie" because he was, well, directing all the events for most of the book, lol

18 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 04:55:53 GMT

#1

I have avoided the larger part of the Untamed fandom quite on purpose, and sometimes I see evidence of discourse going by and I just...

Listen, if you have an opinion about any MDZS character that amounts to them being 100% good or evil, you missed the entire point and should maybe take a step back, especially if you're going to hate on others who do not share your opinion.

22 notes • Posted 2021-06-15 19:49:16 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #... i do not actually make new posts often #the kittens are more than twice the weight they were then #less than 2 months later #and the car is awaiting repairs-- someone hit it (badly) in a parking lot #i stand by that number one post though

[roguebelle]

Okay, not to be all “in my day” about it but...

When I was in high school, the by-word was “self-determination”. And being teenagers, we rolled our eyes and thought it was dumb -- but our school actually did live by it. We could propose clubs, and as long as at least one teacher was willing to be a sponsor (ie, a vaguely responsible party for insurance purposes), you could start a club. The teacher had to be on-site when you were doing things, but they otherwise really did not have to be involved. Sometimes they provided more guidance; sometimes they were just, y’know, around. As students, we got to direct ourselves a lot. I had this especially in drama club -- with the exception of the big spring show which the drama teacher directed, we made our own choices about what to do. My creative writing class decided to put together a post-9/11 magazine because... we wanted to. Our teacher supported us, but we decided what would go in it, what it would look like, and all of that. Fundraisers for anything were student-run. You did the thing, or the thing wouldn’t happen. It all fell under that umbrella of self-determination.

I went back for an Alumni Day last year, and after watching the school in-action and talking to some students, I was absolutely appalled. Teachers and parents appeared to be doing everything. They made the decisions. They organized the fundraisers and staffed them. Students had to be attended and guided every moment. They were given no freedom, no empowerment to determine things for themselves, and certainly no self-determination. And even worse, so far as I could tell from talking to them, they didn’t seem to mind.

It depressed me unutterably.

The fanfic pearl-clutching feels like an outgrowth of this mentality.

Because my generation also grew up learning the internet as it grew. We had to figure out how to navigate it for ourselves. We had to learn what we were comfortable engaging with and what we wanted to avoid. We developed the guardrails necessary -- trigger warnings, tags, closed communities, etc -- and we used and continue to use those to determine our online experiences. (Certain platforms have made that way harder than others -- Facebook and Twitter are not interested in you governing your own experience; they’re interested in marketing to you, whether or not it’s in your self-interest. This is why AO3 is a godsdamned blessing upon this earth and I will fight to preserve it). We learned to recognize that not everyone interacted with media -- or the world -- the same way that we do, and that that was okay.

And those are valuable skills.

A writer-friend of mine did a great thread on why: 

A person who is not confident in their personal agency goes through this thought process: 1. I don't consent to read this 2. I don't feel like I'm allowed to withhold my consent. 3. I feel unsafe. 4. I need to be protected. 5. I can't make it about my feelings, because I'm not allowed to. 6. [displacement] Others need to be protected. 7. This shouldn't be allowed.

You need those world-navigating skills in order to be able to give informed consent (not just in sex, but in so many situations in life).

I feel like too many kids today are not being taught the skills attendant with self-determination. (Yes; I know it is not all of Gen-Z. Some of them are seizing the reins no matter what, and bless ‘em for it. But institutionally-speaking, the odds are not in the favor of that type of kid).

I could actually go on a different tangent about this being a failure in education as a whole, that has infected our politics as well. We are not giving people a proper liberal arts education -- the purpose of which is to prepare citizens to live in a free society.

This is a microcosm of that problem -- generated not least because fanfic is and has always been an easy target. You don’t see people going after ~classic literature~ written by white men the same way they go after the largely female, queer-and-POC-friendly spaces of fandom.

I am so sorry, pearl-clutching folk of whatever generation, that systems have failed you. Genuinely and truly. I am sorry you do not feel confident in your agency. I am sorry you have been denied self-determination. I am so sorry that your parents and teachers have failed to give you these skills. I hope you have the opportunity to develop them, I truly do. The world needs you to have them.

#in which cass has opinions #fandom #fandom elder #fanfic #you know naught of the true darkness #this is how we got Strikethrough 2007 ffs #also abuse is always the fault of the abuser #not someone writing fiction you don't like

[royally-wilde]

...On today's "debate"

The whole 'omg you've reblogged from tinhats!' thing has attracted my interest a while before it blew up, actually. I've seen a few occurrences of this… but then actually went on the person's blog and easily verified they've nothing to do with them. Plus if you don't like what people reblog you can just unfollow them - it's not that deep?

Unfortunately tinhatters think there's nothing wrong with them and many attempt to behave like average fandom members by posting normal content as well. Let's remember many of them had to be doing something before Meghan came and prior to that they might've racked up some following (especially if they were one of them thirsty Harry blogs, lol!). Now people do have a life and might've been on a hiatus for a bit, or just not on every single day - doesn't matter. Things can change very quickly on Tumblr. I mean, a person can wipe out all of their posts and completely rebrand their blog with you still having them on your follow list. And until you spot something odd on your dash, or actually go through every blog you currently follow (long!), you wouldn't know? You can't possibly be expected to keep up with everything and everyone!

Misunderstandings do happen, and that's fine. We're only human. I don't check every single source I reblog from because ain't nobody got time for that. As I said elsewhere, I can't even get to finishing off my blog's HTML theme, so how can I be expected to analyse every single blog that turns up? The Tumblr fandom is huge and one cannot be realistically expected to recognise everyone. It just ain't possible. People come and go. Some people have sideblogs. And let me tell you, some tinhatters are one and the same person because their idiolect and style of writing is the same - I have a knack for spotting that sort of thing. So I will admit I might recognise many of them myself - but that's my OTT long-term memory to blame! But I am my own person and I choose what I do with my spare time. One thing people need to get over is grasping the concept that you cannot expect everyone else to be just like you!

Last but not least… I am that one person mad enough to have considered making a list of tinhats at one point. But I've decided against it for a number of reasons. You know why? First of all, tagging/listing people, even for bad things, always gives them publicity, and I don't want to give them that advantage. Nutters like them will use that list for their own purposes… Another thing is I want to avoid generating even more drama if I possibly can - I've enough of it in my life already thanks. Not mentioning some get deactivated, resurrect, etc. - do I even want to waste my precious time to spend on those losers? Or do I actually want to do something productive and positive about my life? I think the answer is easy!

#royal fandom #text #comment #opinion #my post #Alisha speaks

[yuna-dan]

Outlaws

The other day I was listening to this song and suddenly this idea appears. I couldn’t help myself, so I really hope you all like this one!! I’m tagging the love of my life @obviouslyelementary (Take it as a little gift <3)because she deserves everything this in this world and because this is a Logince! Moxiety!

Warning: Human!AU PopStarRoman, ManagerLogan, SongwriterMorality and CostumerAnxiety. Past Toxic Relationship, but nothing graphic. I hope you all really like this one!!

Here’s the song

“For someone who always uses bad clothes, you sure know how to design some nice ones.” Roman said when he saw his reflection in the mirror, wearing a beautiful sparky white with feathers costume, having slight greyish. His make-up was already done, leaving his eyes with a purple eye-shadow.

“Yeah, yeah.” He was kneeled next to the artist, seeing one last thing, “You have said that a lot of time.”

Roman scoffed, “I just don’t get it. Why? I mean you can dress fabulous!”

“Ah, Ro, let him be,” Morgan spoke from the couch that was in the little room, chuckling when the young dresser tensed a little but smile nonetheless, “He can do whatever he wants.” The songwriter smiled.

Roman felt a pain in his calf, “Oh sorry.” Ann smirked and in that moment Roman knew he did it on purpose.

“He can do whatever he wants and also hurt you and destroyed your costumes.” He giggled.

Point taken.

Roman was waving off his fans while Logan was trying to get him into de limo. Ugh, he knew it can be excited when you just start your musical career but this guy was so careless.

“C’mon Roman, we need to get to the hotel.” Roman sighed but obeyed his manager.

“You are no fun.” He sighed and took out his phone.

“Don’t post anything yet, we need to arrive first and make sure there’s no one in the hotel.”

Roman rolled his eyes, “I’m just talking with Morgan.” He showed his phone.

For some reason, Logan’s jaw clenched and suddenly he was mad.

Morgan was in the park, writing some stuff in his pad when he felt a presence next to him, he turned only to find the dresser sitting next to him with one smoothie in each hand.

“Thought you would be thirsty,” Anx, his artistic name, was smiling shyly at him.

“Thanks.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a criminal record?” Logan was trying his best to control his voice, but really, he was mad. Someone just exposed Anx in social media and in Roman’s last interview the host out him in a really bad situation. Ann watched that in television and was avoiding even grabbing his phone.

He was in his studio when the singer and his manager burst into it, “It was a long time ago…” His voice sounds almost sad.

Roman was trying to get Logan out of there, “C’mon Logan, it’s not a big deal.”

Ann was sketching a new dress for a wedding, “Yeah, it’s not like I kill someone…”

“Then what was it?”

“I don’t have to tell you…”

“It happens that you have, I’m your boss!” Logan’s arm was being held by Roman, who was tugging at it.

“Look, even the drama queen doesn’t care, why would you?” Ann snapped, feeling intimidate, grabbed his sketch book with both of his hands.

Logan, finally snapping back to reality, “Look, it’s for the rumors Anx. I don’t care what you did, but I have to know in order to protect your image and his image.” He explained calmly and sighing slightly.

Roman look at his manager. Then at his designer, who was biting his lip, as if wanting to tell him but was refraining.

Look at his manager.

Look at Ann.

“I’ll go.”

And Ann told him.

Anxiety knew that something happened when he arrived that day to work in Prince’s next tour and everyone was avoiding his gaze.

All thank to a fucking mistake, that was it. A misunderstood.

He looked around and sat in a little desk in the studio, he could hear the voice of Roman practicing his new song. He smiled at the song,

“Oh, when the lights go down in the city You'll be right there shining bright You're a star and the sky's the limit”

Morgan was the responsible of writing most of Roman’s songs. He had a habit of writing love pop song and a little of indie, which was completely his style.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?” One of his co-workers asked with an evil smirk.

“You mean for murder? I don’t know, I haven’t done one in a while.” He glared at them.

Logan knew this was probably not the best way to handle this, but he was under a lot of stress and it seemed as the best thing.

“I am not firing you, Anx…” He remembered reaching to touch his shoulder but got his hand spatted away. “It’s just while this disappear, give me one month.”

Anxiety had been looking at the floor and just moved his eyes up, watching him through his fringe. “Okay.” He sounded so defeated.

“This is not your fault and you’ll still be in charge of the costumes of Roman’s world tour.”

Ann just stood up, give him a short nod and leave his office, not even bothering to close the door behind him

Now Logan was in his office, yanking his hair and wondering if he made the correct choice.

He felt horrible, specially after seeing the broken face of his friend. Ann was his friend. He rubbed his temples, and everything because of a fucking gossip.

Suddenly he saw a cup of coffee in front of him, and when he raised his face he saw the young diva smiling at him. “I don't support your choice,” he was about to tell him to go away, “But I know this is hard and I'm not mad, I'm here Logan.” He felt a quick kiss right next to his mouth.

Okay, maybe not everything was bad.

When Morgan noticed that Ann wasn't answering his texts he went to his house as soon as possible, and while it may not have been the best decision he was glad.

Anx opened the door, confused only to be tackled with a hug.

“Mo... Morgan?”

The writer hugged him, still on the floor and the writer was mumbling something about not caring and missed you so damn much. “Morgan?” He asked in a tiny voice, “What’s the matter? Why are you here?” He squirmed away and both stood up.

Ann went to close the door, looking at the white cat that was hidden under the table, “I just wanted to see you, Ann. Ever since… you know, you haven’t answered my texts so I got worried.”

The younger one raised an eyebrow, “That’s all?”

“You know, I missed your devishly charm at the studio.” He smiled shyly.

“Oh…”

Morgan stay that day. And the next one.

Logan was talking in the phone when Roman entered his office once again, with a coffee cup and a cupcake. “Hey, Lo…” Logan put his index finger in front of his lips, signaling him to wait, “Oh sorry.” He felt a pair of lips in his cheek.

He really like that feeling.

Ann woke up. Another dreadful day. He chuckled dryly, that happens when you get to invested in your work. He shook the covers up and jumped out of the bed.

“Hey, Tag,” the white cat stared at him, “Sleep well?” he scratched his ears. He then proceeded to go to the kitchen and make some breakfast for his cat.

He was not hungry.

Morgan was in his studio, struggling with the words (likeme:D) when his phone ring.

Woke up. U going to come? -Anxy

He let the pen next to him and started typing:

Yeah. Chinese or pasta? -Mo.

Whatevs. Idc. Need to clean. -Anxy

He let himself chuckled and shook his head.

K. See u later. -Mon

“Ohh…” Roman’s voice echoed, “Who are you texting and why are you smiling so bright?” He wiggled his eyebrows and sat in front of him.

“Our favorite outlaw.”

Roman frowned, “Hey, don’t called him like that.”

Morgan shrugged, “He likes it.”

He did, after all. Morgan smirked a little and he heard the start giggling, “You’ve got an idea.”

He did, after all.

Roman was in his apartment when someone knocked. “Roman opened up!” The diva laughed softly and paused the movie.

“What’s the matter, Lo?” He smiled, resting his arm in door’s frame.

“I don’t know what you are playing! You have to stop! I am your manager!”

Roman raised an eyebrow, “That’s not what you say last night.” He winked.

The oldest one’s cheek flushed slightly, “Roman stop!”

“Or what? Going to punished me?”

Logan growled, something slightly out of character of him, and launched himself at the pop start. Grabbing his head and uniting their lips again.

Roman’s voice was melodic not only in singing.

Logan woke up naked, tangled in sheets with a body next to him.

“So, why are going to stop?” He heard the pop start whispering next to his neck, kissing softly the flesh leaving a little circle purple form.

“Stop that, they’ll see it.” He hissed, but didn’t make an effort to move away.

“That’s the idea, babe.” He let little peck up to his naked shoulder.

He let Roman pampered him, feeling hot all over again and before they went for another round, his last thought was that they really need to stop.

Ann was silent and Morgan was getting more and more nervous with each second.

“Y-You’ve got a be kidding!” Ann flinched away when Morgan tried to touch his hand. “Why?”

“Look, Ann don’t panic. You don’t have to answer in this moment or reciprocate me, I just thought you should know. I like you romantically, don’t act as if it’s a bad thing.” Morgan said almost offended, crossing his arms in his chest.

Ann looked at him and grabbed his hand, “It’s not bad… Not for me. Morgan, you deserve someone better than me.”

Morgan didn’t believe that.

“So, I can go back at work?” They were having a coffee near the studio. Logan was smiling but Anx knew better, he was nervous because of something.

“Yeah. Sorry for all this inconvenient. I hope you’re not mad at me for my decision.”

Anx purse his lips, and drink from his coffee. “I am.” Logan flinched, “But I got my job back, so it’s fine.”

“Morgan hasn’t stopped talking about it,” he smiled, “Saying something about needing your piercing eyes to come up with a new song.”

Ann felt the blood running in his cheeks, “He does that.”

“Soo… What’s that on you neck, Lo?” Ann smirk.

“Shut it.”

“So basically,” Ann was sketching some new stuff while Roman try some new clothes for the tour, “He cheated and make it seem you commit the fraud?”

Anxiety nodded, blowing in his drawing a bit, seeing the lines. “Pretty much. He told me he would help me to get out, but well…” he trailed off, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Morgan kissed his forehead and Ann chuckled softly, “I think you're going to jail again, Anx...”

Ann was resting his head on the shoulder of the writer. He raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“You steal my heart.” He kissed his cheek again.

“Oh my god, Morgan!” He was chuckling and blushing, and it was such a beautiful thing.

Logan was biting his lip when Morgan entered the room.

“You called me?” He asked.

“Yeah... ugh.” He coughed softly, “D-Do you have the n-new song?”

“I do... I was looking for Roman so we could practice... Have you seen him?” He raised an eyebrow at the flushed face of his boss.

“I-I'll tell him to go there...” He trembled, “You can go.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yep. Perfectly Fine.”

He shrugged off and went outside.

Roman, who was under the desk, snickered, “What's the matter, Lo?” He left a little kiss in his inner tight and bit the flesh, tugging it.

Logan groaned. “I can't believe we're doing this.”

Roman smirked and kiss the tip of Logan's length, silencing his manager.

“Ann hate surprises...” Roman said when he read the lyric.

Morgan smiled sweetly, “He'll love this one.”

The singer hummed, tapping his chin, “What's up with you two?” Morgan blushed slightly but say nothing. “Are you two a thing?”

Morgan shrugged, “I really like him, like really really like him,” Roman chuckled, “and I think he likes me too. We are a thing… just the thing doesn’t have name.”

Roman laughed.

“And you are Logan are…?”

His laughter died.

“So you two are fucking?” Alex took a bit at his sandwich and Logan choked with his coffee.

“Wh-what?”

“You and Princey, of course.” Ann smirked softly at the pink cheeks of his best friend. “Never mind, I know the answer right now.”

“Shut up. I know we need to stop.”

“No really,” He smirked, “A lot of people date their manager.” He took a sip at his soda.

“We are not dating…” He mumbled, “I don’t know, we don’t have a name.”

“Mm, I know that feeling.”

Roman felt a pair of lips on his shoulder, “Tomorrow start your first world tour, aren’t you excited?”

“I’m nervous.” He admitted and left a little kiss in the neck of his… of Logan.

“You’ll be great.” He whispered and nip at his ear.

“You’ll be there, of course I’ll be great.”

Logan smiled lovingly, “You’ll shine.”

Apparently, that was the way they I love you to each other.

“Roman will sing a new song tomorrow in live, right?” They were cuddling, watching a movie and with the little kitten in their laps. “Aren’t you nervous?”

“Yeah, but for other reasons.”

“How are you doing, today?!” Roman’s voice echoed through the theatre and the yells of the different fans were his answer. He chuckled adorably, “I couldn’t hear you!!!”

“Ugh! Such a drama queen!” Ann mumbled, in the backstage, watching the star on a TV.

“Hey, your suit looks great on him!” Morgan cheered on him. Ann rolled his eyes, “Of course, I made it!”

After a few hours of different songs and a lot of costumes, Roman took his microphone, “Okay, so today we’re going to try something different this time.” He took a little stool and put his microphone in a tripod.

Morgan was on the stage, with his guitar.

Logan opened his eyes, suddenly startled. “What are they doing?!” He glared at Anx for an answered.

Ann shrugged, “I don’t know! This wasn’t planned?!”

“OH! Roman!”

Suddenly the music took over the stage and silent ruled the stage, “This is going to be a new song. I hope you all enjoy.” He glanced at the backstage quickly.

“I wrote this one for a special person, I hope they enjoy it.” Morgan smiled and started playing his guitar.

Ann felt his heart shattered. He felt as if he missed his chance and suddenly got the urge to leave at that moment.

“I took you at your word, when you said you would steal my heart. Yeah this might sound absurd, but would you be my thief, take all of me, every part?” Morgan sang the first part of the song, smiling softly.

“Love, love, love, is my crime. So, baby come catch me and let's do the time.” It was Roman’s time to sing and a little sigh of love could be heard on the stage.

“I…Is that a song for you?” Logan couldn’t tear off his eyes of the little television in the backstage.

“I think we might be outlaws. I think I might be in love. 'Cause I'm all out of reasons, like seasons, winter, summer, fall They're all washed up.” Their voices sound in a perfect harmony, each one with a different person in their minds. “If you're still way over there, maybe slide on in by my side, 'Cause I'm just an outlaw, wanted if you want me.”

“I love you every day and every night.” Morgan’s voice sang that last part.

Ann… lost his words inside his throats. He could remember every time Morgan would called him all these lovely words.

Was this… was this really a song for him? For a person like him?

He felt the smile in his face and even if he commanded his brain to stop, he just couldn’t.

He was so happy for that.

Morgan shot a quick glance to the person of his heart and smiled, “Lock me up for good, right here in your arms. You vandalize my neighborhood, with your piercing eyes and devilish charm. Love love love is my crime. So baby, come catch me and let's do the time.”

Yes. This was his song. This was for him.

For him.

For ann.

“Baby we're just outlaws, baby I'm so in love. 'Cause I'm all out of reasons, like seasons, winter, summer, fall they're all washed up. If you're still way over there, maybe slide on in by my side, 'cause I'm just an outlaw, wanted if you want me.  I'm just an outlaw, wanted if you want me.

I love you every day and every night.”

Ann was holding back tears and chuckling.

“Oh my god! Just go and hug him or something!!” Logan yelled

Morgan stood up from his own stool, making a little bow. “I hope you all like this little song!!”

The crowd cheered.

Ann, slightly out of character, run to him waiting for Morgan in the stairs of the scenario. Once he saw Morgan coming down he jumped to him.

“You idiot!”

They kissed.

They smiled.

“You are my idiot. I love you, you idiot!!”

Morgan hugged him hard, kissing his hair, “I love you too, my outlaw.”

End.

I hope this make sense and you’ll enjoy it!!!! 

#Yuna's Fic #fanfic #fan fic #fic #Moxiety #Logince #logan sanders #Logic sanders #Morality sanders #anxiety sanders #roman sanders #Prince Sanders #song fic #slight #Outlaws

[kepesh-yakshi]

I’ve been tagged!!!

I was tagged by @wyndx (you’re awesome!) great questions in this one!  I’m going to answer yours, my fair tumbling friend!

Rules:

a) Always post the rules, answer the questions, then write 11 questions of your own.

b) Tag 11 people.

1. Do you have a hobby outside of gaming?

I have a few, though gaming has been taking up most of my recent time.  1) I am a writer by both hobby and pseuo career (aka, I do not yet make enough to cover any bills, but I get something for it sometimes).  2) I love archery, and thus play an archer in most of my games.  My favorite bow is my newest:  a Bear Cruzer, it’s blaze orange, though I don’t count it as one of my “required orange” wearables. To be honest, I like to deck out in all blaze, so other human hunters can see me while most animals can’t discern my orange from actual camo.  3) Most of my work life has been devoted to security of some kind.  I spent ten years with the TSA, and now am in retail security, and though it is my job, it’s also a major interest, and in a way, hobby of mine.  Enough so that I read and chat with others in the field about it.

2. What Dragon Age companion could you see yourself actually hanging out with in real life?

Honestly?  Cassandra.  In real life, my closest friends (I have three) are all tall, strong, beautiful women, all but one are of culture aka, they choose a non-mainstream lifestyle and are proud of their heritage or path or belief(s), yet are still welcoming, open-minded, intelligent, forthright, and forgiving.  Great role models.  I stand 5′8″ - shortest on mom’s side, tallest on dad’s.  Cassandra would be one of those three.  I could see her in modern day calling me for a cuppa coffee and talking about her newest discovery in classic romantic literature.

3. What is your favorite movie?

Shawshank Redemption, hands down.  But...Dumb and Dumber is my favorite laugher.  Arlington Road pisses me off to tears, so it is among my favorites because it moves me so much.

4. Which DA game did you play the most?

Inquisition.  It was my “welcome to DA” game.  I am on Windows 10, and the other games don’t play well with this OS. and that sucks. But I am working on it. Origins, so far, has been a blast to play, so far!  I have not really started DA2.  But I can’t wait to get into it.

5. Would you ever move somewhere else to live?

Yes!  I lived in Durango, before, back in the late 90s.  I’d definitely do it again!  Beautiful place with great people!

6. Do you have any new year’s goals for 2017?

Two:  one is recurring and doesn’t count because I do it every year.  “physically” get back in season.  Enjoy the summer months in a great body, then throw it back to the fat hell in the winter months.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  But this year, my goal is to not have to explain myself for what makes me happy.  I am me, I do me, and if people don’t like it, that’s their shit.  I just dropped a long time friend of six years because she took my self-deprecative humor personally.  Tired of that shit.  I am not a doctor, psychologist, etc, and i don’t want your family drama, and i should not have to explain in detail why i do not wear makeup when YOU KNOW I am transitioned to male.  UGH.  I do not and will not explain myself.

7. Do you have any pets?

One cat.  I rescued her over the summer.  She was five when I met her.  She actually picked me out.  We’ve been best buds ever since.  Her name is Crackers.

8. Where in the world of Thedas would you a)live b)vacation c)avoid?

Live:  southern Marches or northern Fereldan.  Close to water (fishing!!!!) and seems to be a nice easy community gathered around the area.

Vacation:  Nevarra or Western Approach.  Culture and food for the former.  Hunting and endles beauty of the sands for the latter.

Avoid:  seheron.  Stories like what comes out of there kinda push me away.

9. Are you a reader? What is your favorite book?

YES!!!  Classic Lit.  Favoite book is The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay.  A pro hockey player friend gave me a copy.  I’ve shared it with many.  I also love The Count of Monte Christo (Dumas) and The Idiot (Dostoyevsky), but I can’t limit to just three.  I have so many I love and so many I have yet to read.

10. Any secret talents?

I am left handed to a fault -- I crook my hand when I write.  So my secret talent is that I can sign my name upside down, right side up, top to bottom, left to right, and even backwards.  I can also blow bubbles out of my left eye (dog attack severed my tear duct when I was 13). And I was a goalie for an inline hockey team in an all-mens league between 2001-2005.  Once held 6 records before it got popula.  1) most shutouts in a season (36).  2)most wins in a season (36), 3)first female goalie to make it to regionals (lost 2-1 in triple overtime, other goalie bought me dinner, I thought I had a husband at that point LOL)  4) longest game ever played (still in the record books at 4 hrs 36 minutes)   5) hottest game ever played (126* outside)  6)coldest game ever played (-20 outside) -- last two records were october 2003 in Texas within three weeks of each other.  the last three still stand.  LOL.

11. Do you ship any rarepairs?

Rarepairs?  OH like leliana and sera?

My questions:

1. If you could pick any superpower to have what would it be?

to be able to see 5 minutes into the future. 

2. What is your preffered race and class in the DA games? human rogue archer

3. Favorite food? Grilled chicken breast.

4. If you could choose to live in any fictional universe which would you choose? Either Dragon Age or Elder Scrolls

5. Anything you really want to see in DA4? Nevarra

6. Are you in any other fandoms? Elder Scrolls

7. Biggest fear? Death :(  it’s something we all will deal with, but I fear it.  I have heard that fear of it means we have much more to live for, and we need to be stronger in our own personal convictions.

8. First Video Game you ever beat? Legend of Zelda (Adventures of Link) or Shadowrun (on Genesis), I forgot.

9. What’s your hogwarts house? (if you know) Slytherin -- which is funny, because I hated that house in the first movie.

10. Are you a night owl or a morning person? All-nighter, baby!!!

11. What’s the best advice you’ve ever recieved? Don’t give up on you!!!! My 11 Questions (answered) : 1.  Who is your hero? Me, first and foremost.  I’ve been through shit that people often write books about. And I’m still here and still enjoying life. But I also love my life coach, J, who guided me through the process of dropping all hindrances and learning to love my inner child. 2.  Have you ever met someone you looked up to and were happy about it? YES!!!   She left me with some keen advice.  Sylvia Browne is her name. She passed into the next world, so to speak, but when I met her, I was working the walkthrough at TSA, and she was in a wheelchair.  I was pre-transition (I am ftm), and she complimented me on my kindness and asked if she could give a reading.  Of course I agreed, after complimenting her on her books.  She said to me, “you are going to change.  A metamorphosis.  It will be painful but worth it to you.”  Almost exact quote, that was back in ‘08.   She also said that I would be a beacon to others who need to grow out of their boxes if I overcame my own obstacles.  She’s been right so far. 3.  What are your three current favorite songs? Sorry - Justin Bieber (the kid is good, I have to give props here  -- I jam to this) Can I get a - Jay Z (high school favorite, still a favorite) The entire Under Reprisal CD by Threat Signal -- I kill workouts to this CD Anything at all from Fear Factory -- because again I KILL my goals with their music blasting. 4.  Favorite pizza topping? Meat. 5.  Favorite obscure movie? Hmm...The Upside of Anger (Joan Allen and Kevin Costner).  Joan is my favorite actress. 6.  Are you a sports fan at all? YES to almost everything.  I played goalie in roller hockey. 7.  What tumblrs do you follow and love but haven’t given love to? (tag the person) @meridok and @customhawke ... and @my-mother-mercury

damn fine tumblrs, there. 8.  Any crazy bad habits? I bite my nails almost religiously, though they’re quite healthy, despite this. 9.  What career do you think you had in a past life? A scribe or bard.  I love to sing and write, now. 10.  What is your best feat ever?  Ran 2.6 miles in an airport terminal to exchange switched laptops between two high-up people in two major and well-known companies.  Both offered jobs to me afterward.  Hmm, perhaps I should contact now for career purposes. 11.  What is your favorite motivational quote (or one you made up)?

“The ability to not know is an essential quality in learning anything.” -Jeff Brooks  (article here)

My 11 Questions (for those I’ve tagged) : 1.  Who is your hero? 2.  Have you ever met someone you looked up to and were happy about it? 3.  What are your three current favorite songs? 4.  Favorite pizza topping? 5.  Favorite obscure movie? 6.  Are you a sports fan at all? 7.  What tumblr do you follow and love but haven’t given love to? (tag the person) 8.  Any crazy bad habits? 9.  What career do you think you had in a past life? 10.  What is your best feat ever?   11.  What is your favorite motivational quote (or one you made up)?

I’m breaking the rules and tagging less than 11 people (sorry). Tagging:  @meridok @archievement @customhawke @cuddlingcassandra @fereldan-dog-lord @my-mother-mercury @solasofficial @dragonageconfessions @dawriting @earthen-soul @fantasyartwatch

#me #about me #questions #tagged #tsa #hockey #books #reading #classic literature #LOVE THIS #i love this