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janiedean · 3 years

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I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 3 years

Text

Feral Fatality

(Part 1)

So this has been in my works for a week now. You see, it was a typical day for me scrolling through Tumblr and visiting some....tags, and then a short drabble inspired me to write about a feral reader totally not because I was craving violence and murder no, which reached more than 4k words on the first draft so here we are! Shitty title, I know. The proofread work went over 7k, and it's not even finished yet. Once I'm done posting this and my main orc fic, I will get into the requests so please be patient!

Pairing: Jason Voorhees x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Brief blood and violence at the end of the first part

Contains: Swearing, mentions of neglect and abuse (not graphic)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Screams slit through the twilight as the frigid autumn wind blew harshly through the trees of Camp Crystal Lake. The rustling of bushes and cracking of twigs echoed as foolish teenagers attempted to escape, running for their lives when they were the ones who dared step foot in the place, tarnishing it with their sins.

Jason Voorhees, the innocent kid who died several years ago; pushed to the lake by his bullies and left to drown for being different and unsightly— all because the counselors were busy with their fucking business—, returned as an undead killing machine right after his mother murdered them and died. His sole purpose: to protect the land and purge the people who had no right to be here, sentencing them to a horrendous death.

One by one, they struck the ground, lifeless, either chopped into pieces, beheaded, or stabbed countless times by his trusty machete.

Limbs...ripped off with his bare hands.

The muffled snapping of branches reached your ears as the vehicle's wheels ran over them, stirring you from your nap. You rubbed your chilled skin under your clothes as you looked out of the window, thumping your forehead on the glass when you leaned forward the moment you saw the scenery. Trees, both ancient and young, their leaves varying in hues of green, orange and red, filled your line of sight. It was still early in autumn, your favorite time of the year, not hot but not too cold either. You watched in awe as the warm-colored leaves cascaded down from the branches and down to the ground, some carried by the wind farther from their origin.

The view did its best to distract you from a couple in session a seat before yours. They always seem to do that all the time, regardless of place or occasion.

This was a week-long getaway after graduation, they said.

Nothing but a white lie.

An excuse for the girls to hook up with their campus crushes, a week of fucking and smoking drugs.

You, however, just got invited —forced— by your "friend" Eloiza, the self-proclaimed hottest girl in the entire school, typical captain of the cheerleading squad; blonde and curvy. Her words were much too sugar-coated that even a deaf person could tell she had ulterior motives.

She only planned to use you as a tool to raise her fame. A stepping stone for her own gain.

That wasn't the only reason though.

Everyone knew who you were, but only by your name. News and rumors alike spread like wildfire through gossipy mouths. Your deeds were known throughout campus.

(Y/N)(L/N), top academic competitor and multiple-award winner, a straight-A student for five years in succession. Some believed you were a genius, the rest called you insane.

You wouldn't call yourself a genius though, you did not possess the obsessive need to acquire eternal knowledge and discover the secrets of the universe as most of them do, to effortlessly solve every problem that comes their way.

If that were the case, then you wouldn't be here in the first place.

You only love learning and indulging in the beauty of Mother Nature, plus a handful of hyper-fixations.

Fine, a buttload of hyper-fixations. And such came in handy in various situations.

You were unrivaled, not one of your peers could come close to your level of wit. Many people wished to have a brain like yours, and just as many hated you for even having one, praised you just as much as slandered your name and judged you.

Despite your reputation, the poor school didn't broadcast it, at least every time. The staff probably got tired of repeating the same phrase over and over again. Which caused more than half of the whole campus to never believe you to be the one behind all of that, laughing at your face when you said your name.

"You? The (Y/N) (L/N)? Ha! As if I'd fall for that! Everyone knows how she looks. You're the absolute opposite!"

"You got to be kidding me."

"You're a joker, aren't you? Is this a prank? If so please stop it, don't pretend like you're her."

Yep, and it goes on and on and on. They were right, you didn't look like someone who would win contests or excel in class.

You constantly wore clothes that hid your form, silent unless spoken to or asked to answer, distant and reserved, you preferred the company of books and nature to the rowdiness and prying hands of humans. A sociopath they deemed you. Quite an extreme word to use when you simply wanted to enjoy the only things that made you happy in this living hell.

You only know a handful of people who approached you first-hand and praised you genuinely, even asking for an autograph, which really surprised you.

Yet, they would never understand you even if you explained, because you can't, words evade you when it comes down to voice out what you feel. Even if you can, no one would care. And even if they did? You doubt it was real. Everyone wants to use you, and they seem to believe you'd let them. You didn't trust anyone. The last time you did only left you sobbing on the dirt.

You wanted to be left alone.

To connect with nature and get as far away as possible from your parents. Parents who kept shouting profanities at each other, the main cause for your depression and anxiety levels to skyrocket, the shaking turning into trembling, 7 hours of sleep to barely a blink.

That's why you agreed to go in the first place.

You hated your household—despised it— a mess of broken shards of bottles and ceramics littered your kitchen floor more often than not. You didn't bother cleaning it up anymore, your mother would just waste away her money on more things to break and throw them at your joke of a father when they fought anyway.

Not only that, you thought...No, you believed if you worked hard to be the best and win countless competitions, your parents would give you recognition and reconcile for your sake, but no, no, no. They didn't care one bit about you or your medals, it was as if you were never even included in their lives at all. Even birthday celebrations ceased to exist in everyone's books after your 13th.

So you gave up.

Down into the void, your wishful thinking went, that they'll become better people over time, that the attention and love you deserve will be given one day. Instead, you wallowed yourself in your studies, besting everyone in everything academic. Oh, but you weren't athletic. Far from it. Damn, you were getting thin and sleep-deprived from being neglected, dark circles under your eyes every time you looked at your reflection. People hating your existence wasn't helping, some teachers even suspected you of cheating.

There's no way in hell you'd let yourself get dragged down to end up like them! You were of legal age now, a fresh graduate from high school, you doubt your parents even knew that since they didn't fucking show up on your graduation day. You were moving out of that shithole of a town. Anywhere is better than where they breathed and spat their poison.

And so here you are. Standing in this breath-taking and mysterious place. Camp Crystal Lake, it is named, secluded, barely touched by modernization as it is hidden between mountains and trees as far as the eye could see. Not to mention its namesake, the lake, you imagined it would mirror the sky, be it day or night. You loved it, you adored the fresh, breathable air that went through you the moment you stepped out of the van.

You also knew about him.

Resolved to never go back to that goddamned house, you took everything you had and needed; the special little trinkets you've collected through the years shoved into a box, the few clothes you had, art materials, and your precious books carefully packed inside a big travel bag, along with your stocked up canned goods, convenience food, snacks, and toiletries.

And other, important things.

You hauled your baggage out of the van and got off, immediately moving to the side and away from everyone.

You got used to people ignoring you that you didn't care anymore.

Why waste your time with them when you can have all of it to yourself?

Eloiza led the group into the larger cabins, the others went straight into the lake for a swim. You even notice some teens disappear into the trees, most likely for a quickie.

In return, you stayed out of their way, fully satisfied being invisible and with your own company as you trudged to a cabin, the one you caught a glimpse of earlier in the van. It was a long way's separated from the rest, closest to the forest and hidden behind a few trees.

You were panting when you finally stopped in front of it, clearly not used to walking long distances and carrying stuff near as heavy as your weight.

Upon closer inspection, you found yourself gaping at its appearance. The wooden walls lost their color as they aged, white and brown mushrooms grew on the ground along with green moss sticking to the beams, and a few vines crawling their way up and on the roof. Despite all of that, the cabin looked sturdy still.

There's this "one with nature" vibe that drew you to it, like a string pulling you closer and inviting you. Ominous most would say, but you almost cried when the rich scent of earth and oxygen filled your lungs as you took one big inhale, sighing in content for once. It was a lot smaller compared to the others, but you didn't care. As long as you were left alone with your stuff you were a-okay.

Perfect.

You turned the knob and peeked inside, letting out a small gasp and opening the door wider to see the whole thing.

Old as it is, it was proper and neat, regardless of the tiny cobwebs on the upper corners. A small, square dining table sat in the middle of the first part of the place, two wooden stools placed underneath. There were cupboards on the wall and a simple sink with an empty space to the side. You went to the next room, doorless and separated with but a wall of thick plywood. It had a single bed in the corner, off-white cotton sheets sitting atop, not a wrinkle in sight. No pillow though. There's a decent-sized closet along with a small table on one side of the bed. One of the windows had a hole in the middle, a ray of sunlight streaming in through the cracks. It was too big for the size of a gunshot, so maybe a rock.

A bit hesitant, your fingers traced the wood, feeling the inconsistent texture. When you went through the back door, your smile reached your ears when trunks of trees and bushes greeted you...

Wait, is that what you think it is?

Stepping closer to the treeline, your jaw dropped when you spotted a thicket of fruit-bearing plants past them, gathered in a tiny clearing.

Blueberries.

Purple little cuties poked out of the green shrubs, sporting a vibrant hue that caught your eye. The sun shone overhead and providing the energy they needed. Blueberries managed to grow in the area despite the trees fencing them.

Tempted and suspicious, you crouched down, inspecting the shrub if it really was a blueberry plant and not a deadly doppelganger. Once you were sure it was, (it would be hilarious if you simply died from nighshade poisoning), you plucked one and brought it to your mouth. It was sweeter than you expected, with a slightly bitter aftertaste. You hummed in delight, wiping the juice with your thumb when it dribbled out, staining your finger and lips.

You didn't want to anger anybody. Hell, coming here was already trespassing, so you didn't push your luck and left it alone, hoping they'd forgive you for picking one. They surely didn't look wild with the way they lined up.

You scanned the rest of the area, eventually going back inside to unpack after your little evaluation.

The sun was a hand's away from setting when you finished. Pride swelled in your chest at the work you did, your things stocked and organized with care inside the cabinets and drawers. You won't have to worry about your food for now as cupboards were filled to the brim with them. You also had a decent amount of money left from your savings account that your parents weren't aware of. Prize money, allowance, and the salary you got from doing online jobs all went into it. The camp was a few miles off the road, and a couple more to the nearest gas station with a convenience store. Very far yes, but it's better than living with the people who made you do this in the first place.

You just hoped you wouldn't die walking.

Everything was worth it, anyways. You were free now, at least that's what you think.

You trudged to the bed, eyeing the cushions, wary and a little scared to touch the sheets that appeared to be cleaned just recently, you didn't even lay a finger on them ever since you got inside. Oh, but your tired muscles were screaming to just flump down and relax.

So you did.

You dumped yourself face first and inhaled. It wasn't smelly nor fragrant, just the simple freshness on the cotton fabric. You felt beat but ain't sleepy, yet, so you reached to the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a book to pass the time as you waited for the sun to go down and give way for the moon. Its spine and pages had creases, worn out and yellow-stained from age and use. It was a horror-mystery novel told through a first-person narrative, a story of a middle-aged detective and her Maine coon in their attempts to solve a murder case of a young European lady named Cassandra Chase.

You dozed off in the middle of chapter 21, the part where Dinnie, the cat, discovers a valuable clue to the crime, a rotten limb in the dried basement well.

—

Jason settled down on the stairs of his porch; shoulders relaxed and hunched as he leisurely sharpened his machete with a small whetstone. Lines of sunlight kissed him through the leaves of trees, the birds in the area chirped on their perches, and the grass swayed, gentle, as a cool wind passed by.

His day be so fine. No troublemakers to deal wi—

The alarm rang, announcing unwelcomed arrival. As if a switch flipped inside, he's already on his feet, making his way swiftly to their location.

A new batch of wretched youngsters, another day ruined. Hunting them down makes his blood thrum in his veins, yes, but they soured his mood, just when he was at peace. He's dead set on slaughtering them in the most gruesome ways possible, only then he could go back and enjoy the serenity the nature around him brings.

He surveyed the area, camouflaging with the wilderness, silent as he watched and counted the soon-to-be corpses, his mother's voice at the back of his mind, guiding him.

They decided to go either to the main cabins, or the lake...even into the trees.

All but one.

Jason already planned to cut down the couple later as they lose themselves in the forest, doing nasty, dirty things to his camp. The killer shifted his attention to you, curious as to why you didn't join the lot. Instead, you walked back down the road. He followed and saw you approach the small cabin, separated from the rest, your eyes widened...

Adoration?

You were quiet— except for the little gasps of awe you let out in between pants—as you looked around and over the place. The ones you came with were rowdy and destructive, a complete opposite. He hid as he observed you from afar, moving around to adjust his vision on you. You smiled every time you looked to the trees, he noticed.

Why were you smiling like that? Why did you pick this cabin? Were you planning on defiling it?

The last question in his mind made his blood boil. He'll kill you first if that was the case. That cabin you chose was special, it was where he and his mother used to stay. He occasionally visits that one to keep it clean and free of dust. If you even think of—

Jason, sweetie...look closer. She does not have such intentions.

His mother's words rang in his head. Even from where he stood, he could see what you did inside. You looked a little hesitant, touching and drawing back your hand before letting your fingers feel the wood as if it was something delicate. Despite the initial...shyness? You proceeded to make it your home, somewhat, dropping the large duffel bags you carried on your front and back, and a similarly large roller case on your left. It was as if you planned to stay for a long time.

Jason hears you take a long breath and sigh as you went out the backdoor. You grinned wider when you saw the nature around you. You stepped forward, straight in his direction...

For a moment he thought you saw him, seeing your jaw drop. You moved closer, and he just froze there, until you crouched down.

Oh, his plants.

He watched you as you gently picked a fruit, your gaze...soft. You brought it to your mouth, some of the juice spilling on the side and you wiped it with your thumb.

Cute.

You went back inside and continued to unpack your things, carefully maneuvering around the cabin.

Maybe he'll spare you if you continue to be good. You didn't do anything dirty, yet. It's only a matter of time before the camp is shrouded in darkness and his hunt will begin.

Let's see what you'll do before that happens.

Jason tracked down the three that went into the forest. He knew the place like the back of his hand, and it was easier to pinpoint them as he heard moans.

What he saw was utmost disgusting, two girls pleasuring a male with their mouths in broad daylight.

Kill them, my boy! Such foul beings need to die! Kill them, kill!

He circled them, steps soundless. Jason gripped his machete and brought it down the guy's neck, embedding the weapon into the bark, the head rolled down, oozing with blood, and fell against the women, drenching them in red. Not a single cry left from their mouths as he sliced both with one swing, blood pouring out of their throats and staining the ground. Jason dragged their bodies and tossed them into a pit he dug beforehand, making quick work in burying them.

A swift end. Now he waits.

#jason voorhees x reader #jason x reader #friday the 13th #blood #violence #slatra #lmao #my writing #fiction #horror #slasher x reader #feral reader #slasher x fem!reader #reader insert #slasher fic #slasher x reader fic #jason voorhees #friday the 13th fic

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exosmutfactory · 2 years

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It's really heart breaking to read this. I can't begin to imagine the exhaustion you must feel. It's sad to know that something that you used to give so much drive and joy became this toxic and just ends up consuming you because of others. I'm sorry to hear that from you. I don't know if you will continue to write even if you don't decide to publish and just write for your own entertainment. But I really hope you do! I created my ff blog after anonymously reading Six Phases and it had such huge impact of on me. As did many of your works... You are a really gifted writer. Thank you for everything I can only hope things go right for you. Sending strength and compassion your way.

I spent the last 2 weeks taking a break away from here and AFF. The only way to not stress is to not see anything, so I make sure to stay away as much as I can.

I remember how active and happier I was in January this year. I wanted to start the new year right and full of positivity. Yet for the past two months, I'd wake up every day wondering: which story will they report this time? Did I block all their suspicious accounts? Why are these strangers I've never seen before laughing then deleting their weird replies to me?

It took me this long to stop feeling hopeless when I had to delete a blog post on AFF expressing my frustration. I posted the same one here as well, when someone reported my story for having smut when it didn't have smut. 5 days or so after I received that report, I had published a new smut-free story. That same day, of all days, a reporter came and reported my blog post. One where my readers were "bashing" the reporter. "We do not tolerate this behavior, reporters are doing their job." Yet I am held responsible for other people's actions? I simply said I might not update often because I was upset over it, yet when my supportive readers react more intense than me, I get the blame.

-Anyway, I learned not to say sh*t on that site coz it is crawling with people ready to report me for everything and nothing. Its very uncomfortable to be watched 24/7. That's exactly why I turned off my "online" green dot on Tumblr, because some people wait for me to Be Online before they come in with their trash talk :) months ago someone came into my Tumblr inbox in September like "for someone on break, you sure are clogging the tags with your shit posts" ??? BLOCK me? Or come off anon so I can do it for you, seriously, it takes 2 seconds.

Sorry this is so long, I've been holding this in for a long time and every time I get upset over it, I ask myself if I'm overreacting or too sensitive. I had a breakdown 2 weeks ago because someone reported my story on AFF for "violation of content guidelines" because:

hahaha. It's hard. The stress makes it impossible to write. I feel like a lot of my readers there hate me because I am inconsisitent with posting and I can't even tell them what is happening because I'll just be reported again. It's funny seeing writers with big followings throwing my name around in their public conversations with their friends. It's so nice to know how hated I am and a relief because I could disappear from the internet any day and never hear from them again. Because a hobby, a passion, causing so much stress is never worth all these sleepless nights.

I barely interact with anyone anymore because I feel like a failure. I can't even write fanfics and post often without hating every word I write. I always wonder how unreliable and selfish I must seem to other people, but those are all my problems. I wanted to spread happiness with my stories, and now, my stories are the ones sucking the joy out of me.

I'm trying my best, but I have to look after my health first, and all of this isn't helping.

Sorry for all of this (>.<) thank you for sending me this message, anon. I will finish my stories no matter how long it takes. My works are supposed to be happy vibes, not full of my personal pains. It's hard to write things when I don't feel them. Honestly that's how Six Phases came to be (>////<) good luck with your blog!!! Share your unique writer voice with the world 💕🌸✨ I wish you the best, love 💖

#❣#I've already forgotten half of what I typed here #oof (>.<)#sorry for the angsty vent/rant #I'm doing better this week than I have in a while #...#I swear if I jinx my luck-#thank you lovely anon 💕#might as well bear my heart since I don't feel numb anymore #still keeping my guard up coz ✨trust issues✨#I avoid these writing sites so much coz I get anxiety attacks when I see messages like a mofo and I don't need that

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sebbytrash · 2 years

Text

I posted 568 times in 2021

96 posts created (17%)

472 posts reblogged (83%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.9 posts.

I added 173 tags in 2021

#reblogathon - 82 posts

#kale answers - 25 posts

#the life of kale - 12 posts

#i would come for queue - 12 posts

#fic recs - 11 posts

#things im in - 7 posts

#<3 - 7 posts

#scotland - 6 posts

#feedback reblog - 6 posts

#euro 2020 - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#if you can forgive zemo for all his stuff but not sam for giving up the sheild then you are probably not a good person

My Top Posts in 2021

hey who told me to watch Fleabag cmere I just wanna talk

26 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 22:42:27 GMT

I'm not a Bottas fan but imagine being taken out of the race by a fucking wheel nut

28 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 19:14:15 GMT

A snipped for Ayesha 💙 @barnesandco

SamBucky - The Things We Say in The Night

Bucky never intended on staying with the Wilsons, with Sam, but in the days and weeks after Sam took up the mantle, he kept being handed excuses to stay.

“I could use your help with training.”

“Could you take a look at the boiler?”

“I have a game tomorrow, will you come see me play, Mr Barnes?”

So days turned into weeks, and weeks. Nights on the couch turned into an apartment near the harbour that he rarely went to anyway because when he did, he could never muster the strength to climb into his too new bed. Instead, he spent his nights on couches or on the floor of the boat.

He made himself useful to them, and in time, useful to the community. It wasn’t the easy nameless acceptance of New York, no, it was recognition in their eyes and somehow openness in their hearts. A place to call home even if you weren't ready to be claimed by such a thing, the tight fist on his gut that made everything temporary loosened with each passing day.

And yet, he was still stuck in the loop. Of living without living, or living for other people.

Truthfully, he doesn’t know what to do now that he isn’t working his way through a list of names or in a world ending fight.

It’s a late night on the boat, Sam decided to try out the new fishing nets he got and dragged Bucky out with him way too early that morning, so now they are both dog-tired and hungry, sharing a pot of pasta Sarah made them take with them that tastes like it was made with gold.

“So, what's next?” Sam asks between mouthfuls, looking at Bucky that way he does sometimes, like theres answers on his face rather than from his mouth.

“Well, normally people go to sleep at the end of the day.” Bucky replies, knowing full well that's not what he meant.

“For you, what's next for you?” Sam clarifies, and then suggests, “A beach in Bora Bora? A NASCAR driver? Trying all the different kinds of cheese?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and tries not to show the panic that grips his lungs, chews on his lip as he tries to think of what he might say. Or not say.

“Figured I’d help out Captain America when he inevitably fucks up.” Bucky tries to throw a little smirk but his lips don’t quite cooperate so he ends up doing a grimace instead. Instead of the smart remark he expected, Sam is quiet. Too quiet.

“You know you are allowed to enjoy life, right?”

“Am I?” It leaps from Bucky's mouth before he can stop it, the blade's edge of his thoughts brought free by Sam's gaze.

“That's the thing with being the one who survived. You have to find a way to live.” Sam's look lays him bare, “Otherwise, you might as well both be gone.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say to that.

34 notes • Posted 2021-10-10 21:37:09 GMT

Bucky is hilariously dramatic and I am here for it. He really did stockpile sass for 70+ years. Hobbit reading lil toddler in disguise

37 notes • Posted 2021-03-29 19:12:59 GMT

Hello friends. I've been gone a lot recently and it's been even longer since I wrote anything, never mind posted so I'm truly sorry to all who followed for the fanfic. I'm even sorrier to those who have no idea how they ended up here, tumblr.... eh?

Anyways, super quickly, myself and my tiny human have had like back to back illnesses for 2 months, my gran passed away and I started a new job which is great but also requires a lot more of me. So all in, its been a lot. I'd like to come back soon tho, I miss writing a lot and reading even more.

Anyways, I'm at a cabin for a few days to rest and refill my cup. Signing off with the view...

45 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 23:15:59 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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stateofgrace1303 · 5 years

Text

My chronic illness, how it started.

*Can you guys please reblog and/or tag Taylor?? I really want her to read

this. I want this to get to her and I'll take any help I can get. I rarely ask this but it'd mean to world to me. I wanna get my story

out there (even if this is only a part of the entire story. The rest I

might post sometime if you guys want me too. I think I did include

everything I wanted to for now though). Just thank you all so much!!! I

love you all ❤*

(Im really sorry about how long this is. Its like a little novel. Plus I'm

OCD and tend to talk/rant until it feels just right... I just wanted to

share it with all of you, since its something I would've shared on TSL,

even though it'd probably be too long for there... But I wanted to share it

here because most of those swifties can be found on tumblr, and I want you

all to hear this... Maybe it'll even get to Taylor too. But please read if

you can. It'd mean a lot to me. Also I tried writing this but then it got

deleted when I tried posting it, so hopefully this one posts (I ended up trying to post this ALL DAY. I'm so glad it's finally up).)

Hey Swifties! So, I thought I would post this because its something I'd

post on TSL if it was still around, as I shared pretty much my whole life

on there, and I always found swifties very easy to talk to (plus you're all

just the nicest people)! So, I wanted to share this on here since most

swifties can be found on tumblr. I'm sure i talked a little bit about this

on tsl (my user was stateofgrace1303, same as on here and ig) but I wanted

to tell you guys more, especially because its getting so much more intense

now and like I said I've always found swifties very easy to talk to you.

Basically, when I was 12, my dad took me to see the RED tour at Gillette

Stadium. We had gone to see the Speak Now tour there and I had been

completely wonderstruck (no pun intended) by Taylor that night. I was 10 at

the speak now tour and had idolized Taylor since I was 6 and she put out

TOMG (and I was known as the Taylor Swift girl by now at my school). So

even though I was 10 I asked my dad, if I save up the money will you take

me to see her when she comes again? And he said yes. About 2 weeks before

the show, I had saved up enough. He didn't think i could do it, but I did.

So, I got tickets and we went to the tour. But when I was walking towards

the stadium (we had parked in a lot right down the street), my vision

became weird, almost like tunnel vision although nothing was turning black

around the edges of my vision. My feet looked very far away from me.

Suddenly, a rush of dizziness came over me and instinctively i grabbed onto

my dads arm to keep from falling down. He asked if I was okay and I could

barely get out words for some reason. I was starting to sweat and we

thought maybe i was dehydrated, so we got into the stadium as quickly as

possible. I was gripping onto everything around me to keep from falling,

but eventually we got into the stadium and I got some water. We had seats

on the field, so that's where I was, drinking some water when suddenly I

was pretty sure I was going to throw up. It was starting to get super

uncomfortable so my dad brought my to the first aid, which was actually

right at the enterance on the field. So when we went in there my dad told

them what was going on and they all looked at me weird and said "people

never get sick. We usually treat bee stings and allergic reactions. We

almost never have people get sick" which actually surprised me. But, they

took me back and laid me down. Almost immediately I started puking. The

nurse I had actually had just had a baby and had some anti nausea

medication on her. So, she gave me that but it didn't work. And I just got

worse. My dad went to find me something to eat so I'd have something in my

stomach. He came back with some chips and iced/frozen lemonade but I threw

up every time. I was so dizzy at this point I was gripping onto the bed

they had me on and puking my guts out, as well as sweating a lot. After a

while, as it only got worse, they actually thought I might have had food

posioning and asked what I ate. But there they noticed something. I was

completely white. Like white as a ghost. Except for my lips, which were

turning blue. And I was struggling to breathe. They wanted to take me to

Boston Childrens and my dad asked if I wanted to, but it was Taylor. I

couldn't miss it. So I said no for that reason. But actually, everyone at

the stadium was trying to get me tickets for the show the next night as she

was playing two nights. Security guards, the nurses, my dads girlfriend...

But nobody could get tickets in the end which was okay. But later my dad

went and for a list of everybody's set times. I had been in first aid for

about an hour at this point. He came back with the list and said "I promise

I will not let you miss them" he said and pointed to Ed Sheerans name, then

Taylor, since I was a huge Ed fan as well. He knew I probably wouldn't be

able to stay, but even seeing them for a minute would've been perfect to

me. Another hour had passed, and I was still there in the same condition.

It was terrifying, and they were really pushing me to go to the hospital

(they wanted to call an ambulance because they actually thought something

very bad might happen if they didn't). But I keep pushing that off because

I wanted to see Taylor and Ed so badly. But, 2 hours I had been there in

the same condition, puking up everything, completely white with blue lips,

struggling to breathe, so dizzy I couldn't even sit up. It was starting to

get painful honestly. So, I suddenly just burst out crying. I was just a 12

year old who wanted to see my idol, and I got this... This weird sickness,

and got stuck in first aid. In so much pain. I didn't even really

understand what was happening. I had always been a sick kid. Always getting

colds and infections. In fact, I almost died as a baby from a problem with

my kidneys, and had become septic. Its a miracle I lived. But I had never

experienced anything like this... And to experience it when I was just

trying to see my idol? When it was only my second concert ever? It crushed

me tbh. My dad asked what was wrong and I finally said the words I had been

avoiding all night... "I wanna go home" (which was actually his

girlfriend's house who lived in Boston... I'm from Maine). And he said

"okay". That was all he needed and he left, walking back towards where we

left the car. However, around 7:30ish the traffic in this area is really

weird I cant even explain it. But traffic can only go one way, instead of

both ways like normal.. So he couldn't get a ride back to the car and had

to walk, and then drive the car in traffic all the way to the stadium to

pick me up. So i had to wait a while, and while I did I heard clapping and

then a British voice say "hello Boston" and he started playing give me

love. I listened to him play and i only cried more because I was so

frustrated I couldn't go out there to see him. About half way through the

set, my dad showed up. They let him park in a no parking zone to come and

get me so he was right next to the enterance to the field. They were going

to put me in a wheelchair, but instead my dad came and helped me up. He was

holding me up straight and almost dragged me out of the first aid station,

into the stadium. I remember this part so well. The air hit me, I heard

Ed's voice clearly and saw him on stage, and suddenly, I let go of my dad,

and I was able to stand on my own... And I was fine. It was like a miracle.

I yelled to my dad over the music "is it too late to stay?" And he screamed

back "what??? After all that you wanna stay???" And I said yes, so, we

stayed. He went to go move the car (the girl was so nice who did the

parking, he told her the story, and he just needs to park the car and het

back in the stadium, how much would it cost. And the girl said park

wherever you want no charge. I thought that was seriously the sweetest

thing.) Sooo he did that, and since I was only 12 in a huge stadium, one of

the cops that was patroling the place stayed with me and asked me all kinds

of questions about Ed Sheeran, especially about the A-Team, when he played

it. He said "this isn't his song right?? Is this a cover?? I know this

song." And I told him it wad and told him all about it. It was the ideal

conversation for 12 year old me 😂 Anyway, my dad came back, we got to our

seats, and I actually met Andrea for a very brief moment! And before I knew

it, Taylor was playing. And I had made it through the entire show. I woke

up the next morning, still feeling a little sick but actually felt better

after eating, so I thought the worst was over. But, I was wrong... I didn't

know that one night would become my life... And god I wish I had gone to

the hospital... Maybe I would be okay now if I had... But anyway... A month

later (in August), it happened at my friends end of summer party. Then a

month later (in September), while I was at school... Each time worse than

the time before. Everyone had been informed I was having issues, but nobody

had seen anything happen yet. I seemed like myself. Then one day, I was on

my way to lunch with my friends, and I collapsed in the hallway... Same

thing happening. All my friends freaked out and 2 stayed with me while the

rest went to get the nurse. She actually thought I was dying, and honestly

I could've. She called my mom and said she wasn't sure if she should call

my mom or an ambulance. Then my mom came and got me and immedaitly took me

to my doctor (because she said next time it happens to come in so they

could monitor me). I was monitored and fell asleep, then 4 hours later i

woke up like nothing happened. After that i was pulled out of school and

constantly at the doctor. And I just got sicker and sicker... Which was

later diagnosed as... "Anxiety". By an unqualified doctor. He was a thyroid

doctor and diagnosed me with that?? As time went on, I got incredibly sick

to the point I can't even move. I have become completely disabled and lose

control of my body a lot. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body.

And I get this weird feeling im falling off a cliff and I cant feel my arms

and when that happens, I cant move at all. I cant even express how bad it

can get, how scary and painful it is. I'm a lot sicker than most people

think I am... I spend most days in bed, actually unable to move. I find

ways to keep my spirits up, luckily. Mostly its listening to Taylor and

watching friends but yeah 😂 I have days where I can't even sit up I'm so

dizzy and weak and it hurts so much. Its also terrifying when you don't

have full control over your own body. Absoultely terrifying. Although I

have okay days where I can stand up and function for a little bit, most

days lately have been like this... Bad and living from my bed due to

weakness and dizziness (extreme dizziness honestly). I have days where its

even a struggle to breathe, the most simple thing in the world. It gets

depressing at times... When you spend all ur time in bed or a wheelchair it

really can vet discouraging... But I'm still fighting. And I'm so happy I

am. And like I said, Taylor always lifts me up. Even on my worst, most

disabled and bed ridden days. Oh, that reminds me... I also have seizures

now, sadly. But I hadn't had what happened that night at the RED tour in a

while though... Until one night last year... While I was seeing Ed Sheeran

in Gillette Stadium 😂 Maybe its him?? I dont know 😂 Anyway, I spend most

days in bed, and I do online schooling now. I've seen Taylor twice since

then. For 1989 and for reputation. With 1989 I needed a lot of help but I

got through it. Reputation, it had gotten so bad I needed a wheelchair and

I still do whenever I go out, really. I dont have full control over my body

and I'm too weak and just very sick. I'm really hoping to go to lover fest

but if i do will need a wheelchair and even then I'll probably still feel

sick... But Taylors worth it ❤ Hopefully can get ada seating like with rep.

Wanted to keep this last part short but I think I failed 😂 Mainly wanted

to focus on the red tour. My health story is so incredibly long, I couldn't

say it all (maybe I will later). However, for now, I will tell you this, I

was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, migraines, and seizures. Then it was

discovered that all of this... Was advanced Lyme Disease... And it created

something called Dysautonomia (basically a disfunction of the autonomic

nervous system, which most people don't even realize they have, or how

important it is, until it makes you sick and either nearly kills or

cripples you... Depending on the kind though.) Also known as POTS, or

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (there are actually 15 kids of

dysautonomia, that being one of them, I might possibly have more than one

kinda, were not sure yet. But its basically half cardiology half

neurology). And there's no cure... I could be this way, this disabled and

sick for a while... But there are treatments that might work luckily!!!

Since there are no Dysautonomia clinics in Maine, I either have to go to

New York, Baltimore, Cleveland, or Minneapolis. So looks like im taking a

trip! Sadly to a hospital, but still 😊 I honestly don't know how we'll pay

for it, but I need it, or I will spend my life like this. So I'm sure we'll

find a way... Like I always seem to do in life, no matter what 😊❤ Oh, and

funny thing is, I have something called PANS as well... So I have Pots and

Pans 😂😂😂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys because like

I said you guys are always so great and Taylor is my favorite artist so I

wanted to share it with the people who understand my love for her. I've

been a huge fan of her for 13 years (I'm 18, 19 next month, now). Theres

something about her... She's always helped me but especially now. She makes

me so happy and feel so safe during this time... Im fact, the only time i

smile like i did when I was younger,before all of this, is when I listen to

Taylor. I even have a Long Live tattoo on my wrist because I felt it

represented my love for her the most, and what we've made as a fandom, the

magic we've created. Plus, it reminds me that I'm fighting my battle (this

"dragon") with Taylor and her music on my side, as well as all of you. And

it makes me smile. I can't wait to get more Taylor tattoos... Honestly,

after all of this and the other health issues I faced as a baby and a

child, I can't believe I'm still here, that I'm still living... Especially

because since I've always been so sick with so many different illnesses and

health issues to the point I'm disabled, my immune system is so weak. I

truly cannot believe I'm still here. But... I guess my body just isn't

ready to give up. It hasn't yet at least!!! And it doesn't want to. It

won't. I'm strong. Me, and my body, want to fight until the very end. And

I'm grateful for that. So grateful that I am still alive, and still

fighting every day of my life. It might be hard, and I can't function or do

really anything but lay in bed and watch tv most days, but I'm just so

thankful that I'm still alive, that it's okay I have to be at the doctors

so much and have to take all these meds (I do anything at this point that

can help me even the slighest). And no matter what life throws at my

health, my body always fights it and gets right back up. I fall down 10

times, I stand up 11. And I could not have the courage and strength to do

this if it wasn't for my idol, Taylor Swift. I've been a fan of Taylor for

13 years (I'm 18 now, 19 next month) so her and her music have helped me

through every problem I have ever faced, and this is no different. She has

a song for everything, so I can always find something to listen to that

makes me feel like she understands and she's telling me it'll be okay...

And ever since LOVER came out, I've been listening to soon you'll get

better on days its really bad, and my girlfriend sends me that song on bad

days too... It makes me feel safe. And like I can fight this. Thank you,

Taylor. I will never be able to repay you. I may struggle with this every

single day im here on earth, but with your music and the support I feel

from the swiftie fam, I know I'll get through it. Anyway... I guess I

should end this here. Again, sorry this is so long but if you read this

thank you so much for taking the time to!! If you made it to this point,

I'm proud 😂❤ And it means the world to me, you have no idea. Im hoping

this will get to Taylor and maybe even Ed one day. I love you all so much

and once again, thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤

@taylorswift @taylornation 🌈❤ @taylornotices 💜

(Pic is from when I was in First Aid at Ed Sheeran. It was so bad there

they had to give me an IV. I was in the first aid station, wrapped up in my

nightmare before Christmas blanket, on a stretcher with an IV in my hand

pretty much the entire night. It was so painful. When I arrived to first

aid I was actually unresponsive. Like I knew what was happening but I

couldn't talk or open my eyes. All I could do was make very small

movements. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was having bad heart issues as well and they wanted to give me a medicine fot my nausea but since I had lyme disease it could make my heart issues worse so they had to give me an EKG... Right there at the concert 😂 Interesting... But, I got through it.

Like always 😊 So yeah thats where the

picture is from ❤)

#taylurking #taylorswift #taylorstans #taylornation #red #redtour #edsheeran #lymedisease #dysautonomia #taylorlurking #i love you taylor #tay #usertaylornotices #tswift

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mrsedmercer · 5 years

Text

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Chapter 30:~Time After Time~ FINALE

Summary: The nights alone have become colder and colder, and not just because of the weather.

Warnings: Angst in the beginning.

Read it on my Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 2596

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn @cherrygeek86 @peachlobotomy666

A/N: This is it. The final chapter. Thank you so much for everyone that has liked, reblogged, or simply read any and every chapter of this fic. It's the first fanfiction I've completed in almost 5 years, but it's the first I've ever made public on Tumblr. It may be a while until I get back into writing completely, as I've decided to ship some of my creative focus towards drawing. I'm not very good at it, but I aspire to improve. Will I show my work at all? Maybe, if there's really a demand for it (though I doubt it lmao). I may post some Oneshots here or there. We'll see.

Until then, thank you for reading.

After you'd return home, Tom would start calling you at least twice a day for the next couple weeks. You didn't have the heart to block his number, but you certainly weren't going to pick up and talk to him. You couldn't believe what had happened at that event. You couldn't believe you allowed it to happen. You were always against public sex, but you couldn't help yourself around him. It's like he had you under a spell that forced you to need him. To desire him.

That's why you needed to stay far away from him. It doesn't matter that he loves you. He hurt you, in ways you can't even explain. In ways you don't want to explain. You just wanted to forget that night. Forget your feelings.

Forget him.

Though even after a month of locking yourself into your work, you still received his calls. You kept hearing about the play he was in and how great he was doing, even though the public had finally found out that you were no longer together. You couldn't help but check up on him and his play. While it hurt to hear his name, you were proud of him. You were proud of all he had already accomplished. You wish you could just talk to him and hear him boast about it. You were so excited to talk to him more about it before the big fight. It ate away at your heart that you couldn't hear him ramble about it. Hear the excited tone in his voice. You didn't want to stay mad at him, especially after the last thing he said to you...

Did he mean it? Did he...love you? Really love you? In truth, you were tired of being angry. You just wanted a chance to talk, but everytime he'd call you, you'd freeze up. You wouldn't, or couldn't answer.

That night, you really couldn't get to sleep, and you couldn't put on a happy smile for a stream. All you could really do is lay in bed with your phone beside you, quietly thinking to yourself.

You heard your phone begin to ring, looking at the Caller ID. You recognized the number. It was Tom.

You felt your heart flutter a little. You've been thinking about him all day, and you had wondered if these calls were ever going to stop. Did you even want them to stop?

Before the ringing would stop, you picked up the phone and answered it, holding it up to your ear. You heard nothing. Not even breathing.

"...Hello?..." You whispered, already feeling your emotions flare up. "...Tom?.."

"...You picked up.." You heard him speak, his tone sounding a little shaky. Had he been crying?

"Y-Yeah, I know..." You smirked slightly, sitting up some. "I-I guess I had to, eventually.."

"You...haven't picked up at all...f-for weeks.." Tom whispered. "I-I've just...been calling to hear your voicemail."

That hit you rather harder than you expected it to, already feeling tears well up in your eyes. You didn't want to get emotional again, but it was hard not to. He sounded sad.

"H...How's the play been?.." You asked, giving a shaky smile.

"Good.." You heard a half laugh from Tom. "I-It's been...fun. I...wish you could see it."

You frowned a little, closing your eyes to let some tears slowly fall down your cheeks.

"...Me too.." You admitted, giving a shaky breath. "I...I'm...tired of being angry. I want to talk.."

Tom let out another sigh, taking a minute to find the right words before speaking up again.

"...I was wrong to get angry at you.." Tom spoke, his voice a little shaky again. "I shouldn't of said the things I said, and I should've let you speak for yourself instead of barging out of that house and leaving you with all that paperwork. I regret it. I regret it all. I regret everything I did to you to make you upset, (Y/N).."

You frowned deeply, the hand holding the phone becoming a little shaky. You believed him, but part of you still hurt. He really did break your heart.

You sniffled somewhat, knowing he heard it. "D-Did you mean it?.." You finally managed to ask, your body shivering a little.

"I didn't mean to make you upset.." Tom spoke, though he was a little confused with what you meant.

"I-I mean...at the show.." You let out a shaky breath. "W-When you said you loved me...did you mean it? Or--Or was is just from the heat of the moment?.."

"...I meant it." Tom admitted, giving a slight sad chuckle. "I absolutely mean it. I love you.."

You couldn't help but smile, your heart fluttering up again. You placed a hand on your chest, feeling your heartbeat increase.

"...I love you too, Tom.." You spoke, holding back a slight sob.

You heard Tom give a shaky chuckle. You could practically see his big smile in your head. You missed that smile dearly. You wished you could see it again.

"S-So.." Tom calmed himself, clearing his throat a bit. "Wh-What now? Will you take me back?"

You smiled a little. "D-Do you think this would work? A long distance sort of thing?.." You asked.

"If I could fly you down here to be with me, I would.." Tom admitted. "But this play has me incredibly busy. I hardly have time to walk Bobby in the morning.."

"And I barely have the assets and time to actually start a moving process.." You frowned slightly. "Moving to another country, as much as I want it, would be ridiculously hard on my own."

You and Tom both went quiet for a moment, both of you really thinking about this. Neither of you had the time to help you get to him, but neither of you wanted to be apart for months. Who knows what else may come up during Tom's play? He could end up being gone until Christmas or something. You wanted to see him.

"I'm sure I'll think of something.." Tom finally spoke, smiling a little. "I promise. I'll find a way to you.."

"Don't start throwing money around to get to me.." You chuckled a bit, making him laugh as well. "As much as I miss you, I can wait for as long as you need me to."

"I'm not sure I can.." Tom admitted, letting out a slight sigh. "I'd love to catch

up with you on everything, but it's nearly 3 in the morning and I need to get some sleep.." Ah, you had forgotten about the Timezone differences. He's all the way up in London now, after all.

"I promised to call you before the play. I promise.."

"Okay.." You smiled warmly. "I-I love you, Tom.."

"And I love you, (Y/N). Truly.." He spoke in a warm tone. It made your chest feel all warm.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight.."

He hung up first after that.

You set your phone down, feeling your heartbeat once more as a few more tears slipped down your cheeks. You forgave him and admitted that you loved him, but would you really be okay having to wait months and months to see him again? You just wanted to be in his arms again and feel his lips on yours. You were scared of how long you'd potentially have to wait.

Despite that, you were able to get some nice rest. You dreamed of the day you'd get to lay in his arms.

And it would come sooner than you thought.

Another month went by, and you had gotten yourself on to a talk show to talk about your rising fame and upcoming movie. You had never been on one before, so you made sure to doll yourself up a little bit and wear a nice dress. It would be weird going up there on your own, but you had heard and seen from other interviews that the talk show host man was really nice. After fixing yourself up in the mirror, you saw the show start. The talk show host introduced you to the audience before calling you on stage. You smiled brightly as you climbed the stairs and went on stage, seeing all of the people from the audience begin to cheer. All of those people made a permanent bright smile appear on your face. You waved at everyone with a soft chuckle before sitting down on the soft sofa, shaking the show hosts hand as everyone quieted down.

"So nice to have someone new for a change!" The host spoke with a chuckle.

"It feels amazing to be here.." You admitted with a bright smile, crossing your legs.

"So, you've got your first movie coming out, eh? Got yourself quite the co-star, I hear.." They began, leaning forward a bit on their desk. "How was that?"

You chuckled again. People had learned that you and Tom were back together, so you've never stopped hearing about him.

"Yeah. We actually had to live together by that little outdoor set.." You admitted. "I messed up with renting one of the houses, so he let me stay with him."

"And that's how you fell in love, yeah?" The host grinned, being interrupted by the audience clapping for a moment before they'd quiet down. That was so surreal to see.

"I always hear about flings happening between costars on set.." You admitted. "But...my time with him was much more than that. He's treated me better than most, that's for sure."

"You haven't seen him since the beginning of the year, yes?" The host asked. "Has that been hard for you?"

You smiled sadly, placing a hand on your chest some. "It's not impossible, but it's been hard. I'm not upset about it, though. We've both become incredibly busy rather quickly. He's got his play, which I hear is amazing, and I've been streaming practically 7 times a week now that I've had the time again."

"Well, it's good to know you're staying optimistic." The host replied.

"Yeah.." you nodded a bit. "It's been...a little harder these last couple days, though. We call each other multiple days a week."

"Do you have a song you like to listen to?" The host asked, smirking some. "One that reminds you of him?"

You took a moment to really think about that. The question brought you back to the time you and Tom went to the grocery store and Time After Time came on the radio in the car, and when he kissed you in front of everyone in that clothing shop, the same song played. You had downloaded the song on to your phone after that day. You didn't realize how important it was to you until now. Tom even had it on his phone, last time you checked.

"Cyndi Lauper's 'Time After Time', maybe?.." You admitted with a shy chuckle. "It's played a couple times during my days with Tom. I downloaded it after people found out we were together because it was playing in that clothing store when he kissed me."

"Awe, that's sounds perfect.." The host smiled brightly, one of his hands moving under the desk. "You think Tom would give the same answer?" They asked.

"I mean, he's into the older styles of music.." You chuckled, a little confused. "I could call him and ask him later.."

You were too focused on the show host to hear footsteps come upstairs on to the stage, though the surprise was ruined by the sudden erupting screams and applause from the audience.

You turned around just in time for the host to start playing that song over the little speaks around set as you and the man locked eyes.

It was Tom.

You couldn't believe it.

Your eyes immedietly watered as you got up from your seat and ran to Tom, seeing him open out his arms to you. You ran right into his arms, wrapping your arms around his body. You almost didn't believe that this was real. It felt like a dream. How was he here? How did he make time for this?

You pulled back and cupped his face with both hands, already nearly sobbing just from the sight of him.

"Are you actually here!?" You asked with a happy whimper. It warmed your heart to see his big smile. He was emotional, too.

"I managed to find some extra time to get a flight down.." Tom chuckled, though he wasn't able to explain himself fully just yet. Hearing his voice so close to you made you want to just break into happy tears right then and there, so you pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. You heard the audience go nuts, making you smile in the kiss. Tom pulled you closer to him, keeping the kiss locked until he remembered you were supposed to be doing an interview. He pulled back and gestured to the seats, holding your hand as you both sat down.

You could barely keep your eyes off of Tom for the whole rest of the interview. Afterwards, you'd say goodbye to everyone and leave the building together. You spoke outside once you reached his car.

"I've got another surprise for you.." Tom admitted, giving you a warm smile as he let go of your hand. He moved into his car for a moment and pulled out something before going back to you. He revealed 2 one-way tickets. Tickets to the UK.

"Would you still like to move in with me, my love?.." He asked you, looking into your eyes with his big, blue orbs.

Your eyes widened some and your heart skipped a beat. You placed your hand over your mouth before giving a shaky chuckle. "A-Are you serious?..." You asked, seeing him nod.

"With one phone call to a familiar moving company and a day or two, you can be living with me.." Tom spoke. "All I need is a Y--"

"Yes! Hell yes!" You chuckled happily before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into another close hug. Tom flinched before chuckling, hugging you back for a moment before pulling back to give you another deep kiss, inhaling some to take in how soft your lips were. The joy you felt in your heart couldn't be properly described.

You pulled back from the kiss to wipe all the tears that had run down your cheeks, including some of the makeup makeup had on. "I'm gonna end up crying all day.." you joked with a chuckle.

Tom chuckled as well, smirking some. "I could give you other reasons to have tears in your eyes.."

Oh god, you had a feeling he hadn't gotten over this flirtatious phase he's had with you.

Then again...

You chuckled some. "It's been a couple months hasn't it?" You asked, biting yhe corner of your lower lip.

"Mhmm.." Tom purred somewhat "and I've learned some things.."

"Have you, now?.." You tilted your head some, getting a nod from Tom.

"Indeed I have.." Tom grinned. "And there's a certain...doctor who has been dying to meet you."

You knew who he was talking about. You recently rewatched High-Rise.

"Ooh, I guess I shouldn't keep him waiting, then.." You purred back with a little wink, moving around him to get into the passenger side.

Tom snickered some, getting into the drivers side.

You bet there would be quite a bit of steamy love after packing.

#tom Hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom Hiddleston x you #fanfiction #wattpad #steamy love

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sage-nebula · 7 years

Note

I'm gonna ask Klance as I can't swing a cat without hitting 12 things tagged with that lol

Frrsajfddajgda I KNOW, RIGHT?? Like ffffff, I have nothing against the ship on principle (and more on that in a second), but I actually do have it in my tumblr savior because I could not go into Keith’s tag without seeing KLANCE, KLANCE EVERYWHERE and it got really tiring. I kid you not, once I added it into my Savior I once had a page with just one visible post because everything else was Klance. Jesus.

But anyway, to talk about the ship itself . . .

Again, I have nothing against it on principle. I don’t ship it, really, but I don’t mind it either. I think that, if written well, it could be interesting and fun and even cute. The problem is, I feel like it’s really . . . really hard to find it written well.

My main issue---and part of the reason why I wanted to stop seeing it so much all the time---is that I feel like, since it’s such a juggernaut ship, at this point it’s become kind of removed from the characters and who they actually are, versus how fandom at large wants them to be. If you watch the actual show, there really isn’t anything romantic about Keith and Lance’s interactions. They’re certainly not the type to call each other “sweetheart” and “baby,” or otherwise act very sappy and in love. But fandom wants them to be like that---they want to believe that one or both of them are pining for the other, that everyone in the castle ships it (and has shipping it as their #1 priority, depending on the work), that this is some grand love story and that, if it doesn’t end up canon, the writers were queerbaiting (when, no, they haven’t been---there’s literally nothing in canon to suggest that this ship is going to be official). It’s to the point where the fandom is so large and so vehement that fanon has superseded canon for many people. Rather than viewing the characters as they actually are in the original work, fandom has decided that they prefer their versions of the characters. And when fandom realizes this, that’s okay (albeit not my cup of coffee), but I think that, by and large, fandom has a hard time realizing it. That’s why you get situations where the shippers harass the creators and voice actors and whoever else on Twitter (which, yes, has happened, apparently---it’s as bad as Steven Universe fandom, ffs).

Even setting aside the absolutely horrendous behavior of some of the shipping base, however, the mischaracterizations are really just not my thing. I like these characters because I like these characters, and so when they act super OoC for the sake of a fanart, fic, or whatever else, I immediately lose interest. I get that people do change how they behave around someone once they become romantically involved (to an extent---their personality shouldn’t do a complete 180), but I’ve seen so many fanworks that supposedly take place in the canon timeline where Lance and/or Keith are so OoC they’re barely recognizable. I remember seeing one fic where Shiro seriously injured / killed(?) Keith (what the fuck tbh), and Lance was crying over him and calling him “sweetheart” and whatnot and I just . . . no. That’s not Lance. It’s not Shiro, either (even though it was an accident on Shiro’s part, to be fair), but that’s really not Lance. When you get to the point that the characters are unrecognizable, why are you even writing fanfiction? What is it that you really want? Is it that you actually want these characters, as they are, to be together, or is it that you just think they’re pretty and want them to fill the tropes that you’ve already become attached to from other fanworks (/yaoi manga)?

I also have an issue with the fact that so many Klance works I’ve seen treat Keith as basically a prop or accessory to make Lance look / feel special. Like, it’s not necessarily that Keith is outright bashed (though I’ve seen that too, and it’s pretty disgusting), but it’s more like they want him pining after Lance as a way to make Lance seem super cool and amazing because he clearly has to be if Keith is pining after him! Or there are instances where like, Keith is the one to stay behind and fret and worry while Lance is out there running dangerous missions all the time (when, in all honesty, why wouldn’t they be on missions together?), or Keith obviously is just the supportive trophy boyfriend who wants Lance to be the leader, etc etc, you get the idea. And I’m not the only one who has noticed this; there was a post someone made a little bit ago about this very issue, where OP actually talked about how they’re a very passionate Klance shipper, but they’ve seen a “a disturbing number of Klance fics” (their words) where Keith is bashed. Keith is my favorite character, so obviously I’m going to have a real issue with Keith being mistreated (whether that’s bashing him or treating him as a trophy / prop to make Lance look better), but even if he wasn’t my favorite I feel like that sort of behavior is garbage. Why ship a ship in which you treat one of the characters horribly? Why are you using Keith as a prop or trophy for Lance? And why would you think Lance, even though he does see Keith as a rival, would want that? (/ why would you think Keith would tolerate it, because again, he’s not the type to stay home and fret while someone he loves does something dangerous---he would be throwing himself into the conflict right alongside them, tbqh).

So I have a lot of issues with how the ship is treated in fandom, and I’m tired, too, of the fact that it’s everywhere to the point where it’s essentially The Ship™ and so it’s present even in things that have nothing to do with it (like Broganes content that comes with a side of Klance out of nowhere, like, sometimes I just want Broganes, can we just focus on that, please?). But that’s more fatigue, rather than actual dislike.

But that said, as far as the ship itself and potential for it goes . . .

Again, if I look at it from a canonical perspective (i.e. if I see these characters how they actually are in canon versus how fandom wants them to be), then I really don’t mind it, and could even like it if it was developed properly. The way I see it is:

To begin with, I see Keith as asexual. His romantic orientation is up in the air; I haven’t decided, and I think that Keith hasn’t had the time nor inclination to really think about it either, because he’s been through too much in his life + is waaaaaaaaay too high-key stressed at the moment to even begin to think about it. Certainly there’s no way he was thinking about it throughout season two, when he was so preoccupied with the thought that he might be Galra (he is) and finding out the truth of his heritage. So even setting aside his orientation, I think that there’s absolutely no way that Keith has feelings for anyone in canon at the moment. I do like the idea of some Keith ships (for instance, I think that Keith/Hunk has potential to be pretty damn cute), but I think that, right now, Keith is just not in the right headspace for a romantic relationship, and it’s not even on his radar. He’s not pining for anyone, Lance or otherwise. He has way too much on his plate right now for that to be the case. I also feel that, similarly, he wasn’t pining for Lance (or anyone) prior to season two, either. Even when he was less stressed / had less going on . . . I mean, let’s be honest, here: Keith didn’t even remember who Lance was in the first episode. It took him a minute before he remembered, “Oh yeah, you were a cargo pilot, weren’t you?” Keith’s interactions with Lance never gave me the idea that he had some massive crush on him. Even his, “We had a bonding moment!!” only really counts toward friendship, because he spoke similarly to the Red Lion (“I’m BONDING WITH YOU” --- oh Keith, that’s not how bonding or friendships work). So as far as canon goes, I don’t think that Keith has a crush on or feelings for Lance. I just don’t.

Lance, on the other hand, I see as bisexual, but I think that he thinks he’s straight, and I think (though note that this is headcanon) that this is part of the reason why he’s so insistent on flirting with pretty much every woman (or female-like alien) that crosses his path. Lance is pretty much closeted even to himself, so he acts aggressively heterosexual in order to try and maintain that denial. Eventually, as he becomes more comfortable with who he is as a person, he’ll come to accept this part of himself as well and that will help him tone down the insistent womanizing, but until then, he’s pretty much bisexual in denial. He’s trying really, really hard to convince himself (and everyone else) that he’s straight.

So that said, I could see him having a crush on Keith, particularly since we know for a canonical fact that he was very attentive to Keith prior to the show even beginning, to the point where he easily picked him out through binoculars in the first episode and ran hell for leather in after him. Yeah, it was all under the guise of “NO I’M NOT LETTING HIM WIN THIS ONE!1!!” but god, how much time did he spend staring at Keith to be able to recognize him like that, despite the fact that Keith had the lower half of his face covered with a bandanna? That’s suspicious af, Lance. Suspicious af. I think that with Lance’s feelings toward Keith, it’s a bit complicated. I do think that some of his rivalry, and some of his desire to chase after / catch up to / surpass Keith is genuine. I think that Lance sees Keith as this amazing goal to chase after, and he gets himself fired up in chasing that goal because it motivates him to keep working and to try harder. Everything seems to come naturally to Keith (from Lance’s perspective), like Keith never struggles, and that simultaneously inspires and pisses Lance off, because Lance works hard for what he gets (even though he wants it to be effortless), and so for Keith to (seemingly) have everything come naturally to him, that makes Lance want to work three times as hard to surpass him.

But at the same time, I also think that there’s a measure there where . . . Lance WANTS Keith to be The Ace, he WANTS Keith to be amazing, he LOVES that about him. Like, again, it’s half inspiration, half anger; he doesn’t actually hate Keith, he doesn’t actually resent Keith, and posts that talk about Lance being an antagonist if Keith becomes the Black Paladin because Lance would never follow him are absolute bullshit because a.) Lance has already taken direction from Keith in the show (last episode of season two), and b.) Lance doesn’t actually hate / resent Keith ffs, he just uses his rivalry with Keith as motivation to push himself to be better. But for that to work, Keith has to be at the top of his game. I think that a lot of people see Lance’s hostile attitude toward Keith dropping out as some resentment / bitterness for Iverson only saying that he (Lance) was in the program because “the best pilot in your class washed out,” and I do think that it’s true that Lance is hurt by Iverson saying that. However, I also think that Lance might have taken Keith’s dropping out personally because . . . Keith was supposed to be the best. He was supposed to be at the top of his game and here he is, dropping out, what the fuck? So he’s super hostile and aggressive toward Keith at first because Keith sort of dropped the ball on being a goal to chase. Meanwhile, Keith is just like “I don’t even know who tf you are” at first, which makes matters worse, haha.

All of this is to say---I do think, certainly, that there’s potential for Lance to have a crush on Keith, that he saw Keith as a sort of goal to chase, as a rival, but also that he couldn’t help but be attracted to that, that he couldn’t help but find Keith extremely, extremely cool (and, though he ignores this part of his brain, damn pretty, too). Keith and Allura have a lot in common in terms of personality, and so it’s possible that the parts of Allura that attract Lance (personality-wise) are the exact same traits that Keith has, and therefore Lance projects his crush on Keith onto Allura, because again, he’s in denial about his sexuality, it’s easier for him to hit on Allura than it is for him to hit on Keith. And it’s extremely possible that his feelings could grow stronger as he gets to know Keith better, though at the moment I still see it as a crush that Lance hasn’t even allowed himself to really acknowledge, because he’s not quite in the right head-space for it at the moment, either.

I could see this relationship working over time, particularly if we got to a point where Keith is the leader of Voltron (I still want Shiro back in the immediate future, though), and Lance is his right-hand. They work really well together as a team and I think that, out of everyone else on the team, Lance is best suited to be Keith’s right-hand, to back him up in terms of leadership. I could truly see them growing closer in this context, could truly see them coming together and, perhaps when things have calmed down and Keith has more of his life in order, he could develop romantic feelings for Lance as well. It’s definitely possible, just not right now.

So yeah, I have nothing against this ship in terms of the characters themselves, but my feelings on it are certainly complicated thanks to the fandom and I don’t really ship it, haha. Maybe someday, but not right now.

(Though some of the art is really pretty, I will give the fandom that.)

#brutally honest ship meme #shinygoku

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