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samandcolbyownme · 9 days

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Summary: After being a guest on the podcast, you thought your communication with Zach was over with, but that was until you got a certain texts from a certain someone.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, dealer!Zach, mentions of smoking weed, being high, friends to lovers, cuddling, cute actions, fluffy and smutty, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, handjob, fingering, sensual filth

Word count: 3.7k | not edited

Sorry this took so long, I’ve had writers block for days. I hope it’s okay, love yas! Enjoy! 🖤

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You walk through the door, “Hello, hello.”

“Ahh!!” Tara says excitedly, “I so happy you’re here!” She walks over to you and you embrace her in a hug, “I’m so glad you reached out, again, thank you!”

“We’re so excited to have you.” Tara says as she leads you over to the seat, “You can have the honor of sitting next to Zach, he’s probably going to target you today anyway. I think he has a little crush on you.”

You roll your eyes laughing as you sit, “Yeah, I seen how he is. I watched a few videos to kind of catch up on everything.”

Zach and Jared walk in and Jared is the first to greet you, “Hey, y/n. How are you?” He walks over and you stand back up to hug him, “I’m good, busy. But good. How are you?”

He nods, “I’m good.” He steps out of the way and you gasp, “Oh my goodness.”

Zach smirks, “Sheesh, I know I’m attractive but no need to make it a big deal.” You shake your head as you walk over, laying a hand on the head of the dog in his arms, “I was talking about the dog.”

Zach nods ever so slightly and his voice is low, “I know.”

You smirk, scooping the dog from his arms, “You just lost your dog.” You walk back over and sit down to put on your headphones, hands going right back to love on the dog in your lap.

“So, this is your first time meeting Zach right?” Jared asks and you look up, giving him a nod, “Yep, first time, I mean. I think we’ve followed each other on Instagram for a little bit.”

Zach holds his hand up and tilts his head, “Oh, so we have decided to pretend like last night didn’t happen, got it.”

Your mouth drops and you gasp, “Zach.” You laugh, “Don’t do that.” Tara raises her hand, “Actually, y/n was with me last night.” She looks at you, “Can I say it!?”

You smile, nodding your head, “Yeah, go for it.”

“So for those of you who don’t know who y/n is, she has multiple brands, a swimsuit line, a make up line-“

Alyssa cuts Tara off, “Which are both really good by the way.”

You smile and blow her a kiss. She pretends to catch it and you laugh and Zach scoffs, “Get a room.”

“Wow. I don’t know who Zach is more jealous of today, Alyssa or Handsome for being in y/n’s lap.” Jared laughs and Zach sighs, “Have you ever heard of the term, think before you speak?”

“Have you?” Tara and Jared yell at Zach in unison and you cover hour mouth, “I’m so glad I showed up today.”

——

Followers in each others Instagram lists is what you and Zach have been to each other for a while.

You’d like his stuff when you seen it, vice versa.

You couldn’t lie when you said his posts didn’t put a smile on your face, or make your heart skip a little beat when he posted a picture he looked a little too good in.

You’ve been newly single these last few months, and you just knew that you were set out to get nervous around anyone you found attractive.

But Zach didn’t make you nervous.

He made you feel comfortable.

You felt like you knew him for as long as you followed him on insta. It was weird, but yet, so refreshing to just have someone talk and joke around with you.

There only thing that was serious about it, was the tension you hoped no one picked up on, but with being a, basically five star rated influencer, you had a fan base that picked apart every thing you did.

So in the long run, you wouldn’t be shocked if you woke up to you and Zach trending on twitter or have new edits posted that ship the two of you that your friends would send to tease you.

Your phone rings, pulling you from your thoughts.

You sit up from your bed and reach over, furrowing your brows when you see a number displayed across the screen.

You answer, kinda skeptical, “Hello?”

“Y/n?”

You pull your head back, slightly shocked, “Zach?”

“Yeah thank Tara for leaving her phone laying around.” He chuckles and you laugh, “You could have just asked for it, you know?”

He sighs, “Yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t just do that.”

You smile and tilt your head, “So, what’s up?”

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, “Do you.. want to come over?” He quickly follows up, “Just to hang out.”

The words roll off your tongue with major ease, “I would love to just hang out with you.” You tease, “I’ll text you when I leave.”

——

You pulled back up to Zach’s, chewing on your lip as you text him, I’m here.

He responds back almost instantly, like he was waiting for you already, Come in through the studio door.

You get out, making sure you have everything before you walk towards the door. As you grow closer, Zach pushes it open, giving you a smile, “Hello again.”

“Hey.” You smile as you walk past him and into the house. He nods towards the steps and you follow him, making your way up to his room.

He motions for you to go in and you oblige, walking in, and you know his eyes are on your eyes, but you can only smile.

You turn around as he closes the door and he licks his lips, “So if I did my research right..” he walks over to his nightstand and opens the door, “C’mere.”

You walk around and your jaw drops as the sight in front of you, “Zachary Justice.”

His head snaps towards you, “What?”

You smirk, shaking your head, “What a plot twist you are.” His eyes look around the room, “Not following.”

You sit down next to him and you lean in, “Are you a..” your voice goes barely audible, “..drug dealer?”

He turns his head, his lips inches from yours, “I stay away from the harder shit, so..” he purses his lips, “that would just make me a, weed dealer then?”

You nod slowly, eyes flicking from his lips to his eyes, “I supposed it would, wouldn’t it.”

He smiles, looking back down at the box in front of him, “I can roll us a blunt if you want, a joint. Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Well, how m-“

“Mm.” He shakes his head, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You laugh slightly and he looks at you, a smirk toying with his lips, “Offer to pay. If I wanted you to pay, I would have gotten the money first.”

You bite your lip, “Okay.” You swallow, “We can just do a joint or something. Doesn’t have to be much.”

He nods, pulling a pre-rolled joint from a thick plastic bag, “Okay.” He nods towards the bed, “Make yourself comfortable.”

You look at the bed and back to him, “You.. you’re gonna smoke in here?” He nods, “Or whenever you’re comfortable. I usually just do it here while watching a movie.”

“Do they know?” You start to kick off your shoes, “Jared and everyone else?”

Zach nods, “Yeah, they get from me, so they keep it hushed.” He slips his shirt up over his head and walks over to you, placing the joint between his lips as he lights it.

He takes a drag and hands it to you, “I’m going to go get some snacks, tray is there. Remote is here. Make yourself at home, sweetheart.”

You smile, taking the joint from him, “Thank you, Zach.” You watch him walk out before you place the joint between your lips, taking a much needed drag.

You hold in the smoke, eyes glancing over the screen as you look at the movies. You tilt your head back letting out the smoke as you slowly feel the buzz of being high creep its way in.

You hear the door open and tilt your head up, “That was fast.” You take another drag, eyes watching as he walks around to his side of the bed.

He chuckles, setting down the stuff he brought, “Did you pick a movie?” He looks up and over to you, you nod, handing him the joint, “Uh huh. I was just-“

You pause as you watch him take a drag, “-waiting for you.”

He nods, “so nice.” He smirks back at you and hands you the joint. You press play as you take a third hit, really feeling relaxed now.

You move back towards the headboard, leaning up against it as you move around to get comfy.

Zach glances back and shifts over and back to lay between your legs, his arms hooked under, so his hands rest on top of your thighs.

You look down at him, smiling as you take another hit.

You reach down, placing the joint between his lips and he nods his head when he wants you to pull it away.

You sit up, putting the joint in the tray before you slowly lean down. Your free hand on his cheek as your press your lips to his, mumbling out, “Blow.”

He exhales and you inhale the smoke from his mouth.

You peck his lips quickly before sitting up to exhale, “Sorry. I’ve always wanted to do that.” You explain and he tilts his head back to look at you.

You glance down at him, “I had a feeling you’d be okay with it.”

“The only thing you had a feeling about today?” He asks and you shake your head. He bites his lip, nodding his head slightly.

You clench your jaw as each movement of his neck resting against your clothed crotch area sends shivers up your spine.

“I figured I’d take a shot because your eyes..” he smirks, “Your eyes said you were feeling it, too.”

All you can do is nod slowly. Your hand moves to his hand and your run your fingers through the brown stands as he stare up at you, “Talk to me, baby.”

His quiet voice makes you feel weak.

“I feel it.” You whisper out, eyes moving to his glossed over ones, “I’ve never.. felt this way with someone before.”

“It’s nice, right..” Zach laughs weakly, “When you fall so unexpectedly for someone and they feel the same way back.” His hands slide down to give your knees a squeeze and you clench around nothing from the action.

He knows he’s teasing you, but he’s waiting for you to make the first move. Or, for you to tell him to stop, which is something you won’t be doing.

He smirks, looking back at the tv. A little bit goes by and he’s now laying with his arms on either side of your body and his head rested on your shoulder.

His forehead is resting against your neck and you’re nervous now, and the urge to swallow is screaming at your loudly.

You don’t want to seem nervous, but if this goes you know in your gut it’s going, you can’t help but be nervous.

“You know.” Zach says, finally breaking the long silence. You hum in response and he chuckles slightly, “Weed.. be perfect together.”

You giggle slightly, “That’s cute.”

“Get it.. weed..” he laughs weakly and gets serious really fast, “Please don’t leave.”

“I’m not going to leave.” You run a hand through his hair, “You’re cute. You have good weed, and you make me laugh? Please. You’ll have to kill me to get me away from you.”

You feel him smirk and he pulls your body closer to him, “Good thing I don’t want a murder charge.”

You laugh and almost like muscle memory, plant a kiss to his forehead. Instantly, he retaliates with a gentle kiss to your neck.

Neck kisses are your weakness.

You test it again, planting another kiss on his head. He kisses your neck again, and again. And again.

You let out a little moan as he sucks gently, his teeth grazing your skin, “Mm, you like that huh?” Zach’s voice is low in your ear.

You nod, a hand sliding to the back of his head, “Yes.”

He starts kissing your neck again, his hand sliding up to push your sweatshirt up your stomach slightly. Your muscles twitch under the light brush of his finger tips and you gasp, whimpering out as you feel his teeth sink into your skin.

You moan, body pushing closer to his as he kisses up to your ear, “You sound so pretty.” He gently bites down on your bottom lip before his fingers slide to the bottom of your sweatshirt, “Can I go under?”

You raise your brows, “Such a gentleman.” Zach smiles, pecking your lips in between kisses, “I.. just.. want you.. to be.. comfortable.. and.. relaxed, baby.”

You go to sit up and he cups your cheek, bringing you back to him, “Let me do it.” He sits up and quickly but gently takes off your sweatshirt.

You bite your lip and lay back down, Zach lays back down besides your and slips his arm under your head as your leg goes over his hip.

Your hand moves to rest on his neck as your lips meet again, but this time the kiss was hungry.

His hand slides from your thigh to your ass and he pushes you in to meet his hips. You moan against his lips when you feel his hard bulge press against your clothed cunt, “Please.”

He moves his hand from your ass and brings it up to squeeze your boobs, going back and fourth between them.

You tilt your head back, moaning out as you grind down onto him, “Zach..” your tilt your head forward, “P-please.”

He slides a hand down between your bodies, leaning his back so he has room to slip his hand into your sweats and panties.

Your breathing grows rapid as you await the needed touch. His fingers slide down to press onto your clit and your breathing gets caught in your throat as your hips buck forward slightly.

“That what you want? Does it feel good, sweetheart?” Zach asks against your lips. You whimper out, “Feels so good..” you reach down to push his hand down a little further, “Need more of you.”

He waists no time fulfilling your request.

Two of his fingers slip into you, causing a groan to rip from his own lips, “Fuck, you’re so tight just around my fingers.”

Your eyes roll back as his fingers curl to reach that perfect little spot, “F-fuck.” Your chest pushes into his and he groans, “Can you cum for me?” He kisses your neck, “I want to get you off, sweetheart.”

“Close.” You whisper out, “Keep going.”

“Think you can take a third, baby?” Zach asks and you nod eagerly, “Please, please, please.” Your voice is whiney, “Fuck.”

You feel Zach’s two fingers withdrawal but they’re quick to return and you moan louder as the slight stretch you feel as he thrusts them into you slowly.

“F-fuck.” You gasp out, arching your back as Zach leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth.

His tongue flicking and swirling over sends you over the edge, squeezing his fingers and moaning continuously.

Your hands tangle in his hair and tug, earning a groan that vibrates your nipple that’s between this teeth.

He guides you through your high, kissing up to your lips before he pulls his hand out of your sweats.

You wanted more of him.

You grab the waist band of his sweats and tug on them, leaning in to have a turn with his neck. He groans as you kiss and lick upward, whispering quietly in his ear, “I want you to fuck me.”

His cock twitches against your hand, “if that’s what you want.” He whispers as he grips your hand and pushes it down harder.

You squeeze and pull your hand away so you can roll over to take off your sweats and panties. You turn back, shocked at how quick Zach was to take the rest of his clothes off.

“I know, I’m quick.” He smirks and grabs your arm, pulling you back into him. He pulls the blankets back up around your bodies before moving to roam the newly freed skin.

You tilt your head up, lips searching for his. You weren’t sure if it was just because of your connection with him, or the fact that you were high, but you feel so needy for him.

And Zach loved it.

He drapes your left leg over his hip as pulls you closer, his lips connect to yours. You moan against his lips as you feel the head of his cock brushing up agains your soaked opening.

Your nails dig into his back as you whimper, rolling your hips into his, “Baby.”

Zach grips your hips, pulling you down as he pushes his hips upward. You gasp, jaw falling slack as you feel him slide into you.

You look at him, brows furrowed as you slide your left hand to his cheek.

He breathes out quickly before smashing his lips to yours, “Fuck you feel so good.”

You moan against his lips, walls clenching his cock as he thrusts in and out at a slow pace. He had you feeling so good within a matter of seconds, the way you felt from the high mixing in made you feel like you were on top of the world.

Nothing mattered but Zach.

No busy work days.

No constant emails, calls, and texts.

Your world was silent for a moment, for the first time in a while.

“Fuck.” You whine out, digging your heels into the back of his thigh, “Gonna cum.” You smoosh your lips to his, moaning against them as you cum undone around him.

“That’s it, baby.” Zach whispers as his hands press harder into your body, “Just let go for me.” He presses his lips to your forehead before resting his own against yours.

He slides a hand up to your cheek, running his thumb over it as he groans lowly. You slide your thumb to his lips, pulling it down slightly as you moan out, your voice soft when you speak, “You sound so hot.”

He groans at your words, moving to bury his face into your neck as he thrusts into you deeper, “Keep talking, please.”

Your hand slides around to grip the hair at the nape of his neck, “You make me feel so good, Zach.” You gasp when you feel his hand slide down to rub on your clit, “Fuck.”

You tilt your head back and he lifts his head to attach his lips to your skin. You squeeze his cock, earning a moan from him.

You smirk slightly, “Does that feel good?” You tilt his head up to peck his lips and he nods, “Fuck, baby. Yes, so good.”

His hands grip your body and he rolls on top of you, your legs instantly locking ankles on his lower back, “Where do you want me?”

You arch your back, moaning out as he keeps his thrusts as steady as he can, “Just.. pull out if you can.”

He nods, connecting his lips to yours again. You drag your nails up his back, and he thrusts his cock into you, “Sh-“

You feel his cock quickly disappear from you before feeling his cum pool between your hips. He lifts his head from your shoulder and kisses your cheek before he gets up to get something for you to wipe off with.

Your eyes follow him as you regain your breath. He hands you a towel and you smile as you take it.

“So do you want to start the movie where you started distracting me or?” He looks at you with a smirk and you roll your eyes as you sit up, “Hey now. I’m not the one who started the neck kissing.”

“But you did start the kissing.. I mean, the whole sucking the smoke from my mouth?”

You feel your cheek redden and you fight back a smirk, “Mm.”

He nods, slipping on his sweats before bending down to grab his shirt for you. He crawls on the bed, “don’t think I definitely didn’t pick up on that little peck before you backed away “

You roll your eyes, laughing as you take and slip on the shirt, “whatever helps you sleep at night, honey.” You look over at him and he leans back, pulling you with him, “I’m sure hoping it’s you now, but.. yeah.”

You smile, leaning into his body and watching as he hits play, “If that’s what you want.” His hand moves to intertwined his fingers with yours, “If it’s what you want, too.”

You squeeze his hand, “It is.”

——

A little bit into the movie, you’re laying on Zach with your head on his chest and you let out a quiet sigh, “Thank you.”

His thumb moves over your shoulder, “For what, sweetheart?”

You laugh slightly, “Well, not only getting yourself hired as my new dealer.” You smirk and look up at him and he looks down at you, “Oh yeah? Who says I’m taking new clientele.”

You roll your eyes, “Please. I have you wrapped around my finger.”

“And I love every second of it.” Zach leans down and pecks your lips, causing you to smile and giggle slightly, “And for making me feel like a normal person for once.”

He brushes hair from your face, “I figured you could use a little time out of any sort of light, hence why it’s so dark in here if you didn’t- yeah.”

You reach up, laying a hand on his cheek, "Gosh, how lucky am I? You do have a sweet side, Zach Justice." You scrunch your nose, smirking slightly as he smiles at your joke, "Do you think people will judge me for falling for my weed dealer?"

He reaches up lazily hold your wrist as his head turns to press a kiss to your palm, “I only care what you think, baby.”

——

Thank you for being patient.. I’ve had major writers block this last week or so and I’m trying to push through it. Let me know how you liked it!

As always, I love you all! Thank you for reading!🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

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redclercs · 1 year

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DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

v. i gave my blood, sweat and tears for this

— the one where both of you have given everything to be where you are.

warnings: misogyny, sexual harassment, this is how monaco went btw i accept no criticism. barely proofread, sorry. 3.7k words (+ article, podcast excerpts)

masterlist ✢ next

'Have we let y/n y/ln get away with way too much?'

By Alan Gomez

Yes folks, it might be our own fault, we have created a monster in the form y/n y/ln. Mediocre actress at best and with an even worse personality, if the latest events are any indication.

But how could we let this happen? Come on, we're smarter than this!

The thing is, y/n brainwashed us into believing that her doe-eyed, no-brain characters were actually her. Don't beat yourselves up over this too much, even I was a victim of those pretty eyes. But now that the blindfold has fallen, we have come to realize we have let y/n get away with everything!

You might know y/n from Supercut, the romantic comedy that took the world by storm in 2019, where she starred alongside Aidan Kim and it lead to these two becoming one of the general public’s most cherished couples. At least until two months ago, when their breakup was announced via Inside Out. Although there haven’t been any official statements, given the circumstances, we believe it was the actress who broke it off with Kim.

→ Aidan Kim and friends at Cannes Film Festival

→ Y/N supports alleged boyfriend at charity football match

But whether she’s dating a new guy now or not, why do we keep letting her do whatever she wants?

How did she actually brainwash us into thinking she’s anything close to an “it girl”? After Supercut, all she’s done is the absolute bare minimum to keep people talking about her, it’s all RomComs and no effort. I didn’t want to be that person, and you have to believe me on this, but Aidan Kim made her.

Let’s remember Aidan built his career from the ground as a member of Star-5 the early 2010’s boyband that split in 2018. He was the ‘someone’ in the relationship. How can people even compare having the hit song “Round and Round” in your résumé to being in Scream (Netflix) and The Mist (again, Netflix)?

Aidan made us like her and the writers of Parisian Valentine, The Hating Game and Last Night In Love, did her a HUGE favor by consolidating her as the “Queen of RomComs” by what standard? Well, don’t ask me.

The truth is, we accepted y/n into our hearts and homes, thanks to Aidan Kim and an unbelievable amount of luck, and we haven’t held her accountable for anything ever.

Here’s what I’m talking about, if you’re still wondering what the point of this article is, click on every link to be taken to the whole context, you’ll thank me later:

❍Y/N yells at paparazzi to leave her alone as she walks around Beverly Hills with Victoria Presley.

❍ Y/N praises Taylor Swift while tearing down several male artists for writing songs about their personal experiences.

❍ Y/N says in interview with ELLE that not every movie has to be “profound”.

And just for fun:

❍ A collection of Y/N’s disastrous looks.

It’s time we realize y/n y/ln is talentless, has a horrible personality and feigns innocence she certainly doesn’t have. You will NOT continue to take advantage of us, y/n! It’s all over for you, so I’m glad you’re dropping your pathetic career to become a WAG. #Y/NIsOverParty.

↺ FROM ❛WE WATCH❜ PODCAST

Paul Byrnes: Can y/n really do another role now, after all she’s known for are romantic comedies?

Anna Sanchez: well, I really liked her in The Mist, she did great as character in a horror it was—

Paul Byrnes: No one cares about The Mist, Anna, just you.

Anna Sanchez: all I’m saying is she’s a good actress, she can do other things. That was your question, Paul.

Paul Byrnes: Well, in my opinion she can't and that's it.

↺ FROM ❛IT TALK❜ PODCAST

Greg Zane: Let's talk y/n y/ln and her fashion choices now that she's an F1 WAG. What do we think?

Riley Green: She's a what now? How long has it been since she broke up with Aidan Kim?

Martha Vincent: I think she's looking great, I just wish she'd let go of the ugly caps.

Riley Green: No seriously, how long did she stay single?

Greg Zane: I agree Martha, but caps are big in Formula 1, nothing we can do about that. I'm wondering if she'll go for a more glamorous look in Monaco.

Riley Green: guys? hello?

Martha Vincent: Oh Riley, we're not talking about her love life, let it go.

↺ FROM ❛HOLLYWOOD VIBES❜ PODCAST

Pauline Oscar: [cont.] I'm just so curious about the reason of their breakup, why hasn't anyone said anything?! It must be juicy.

Brenda Yim: I feel like it's bad for one of them, most likely y/n. Hello, can anyone offer one of their friends some money? Just like old times!

Pauline Oscar: [laughs] Definitely! We need to know! Can it get any worse than the fact that she's already with another guy? What's his name? Charles Le what? She soooo cheated.

liked by charles_leclerc, vicpresley, mati.bassi, carlossainz55 and others.

ynfreesia UM THE LIKES?

xxynbaby it's "monaco" of course

aidanluvs you don't even have the decency to pretend like you're alone? fuck you

ynredstar i cannot defend you if you pull this shit girl

mati.bassi great view for breakfast with my best girl!💕

ynredstar oh ynredstar nevermind thanks mati ↳ feels4aidan don't be so gullible she's obviously covering up for them

THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ARE DISABLED.

May 27th, Montecarlo, Monaco.

THERE are tears in your eyes, and despite your best efforts not to let them run down your cheeks, it's futile. The worst part is that you're the one doing this to yourself. There's zero need to read 'articles' from pseudo journalists on how a man gave you your career and how you're tossing it into the trash for another. Not to mention the cascade of curses you received for a picture on instagram, where everyone thought you were with the other man.

Has your life really come to this? People don't talk about you unless a guy is involved? You loathe it. Your career was never about Aidan, and it's not about Charles now. Who only makes things worse every time he shows up and yet you can't manage to bring it up to him.

It's embarrassing. You don't want to walk up to him during whatever free time he has in a hectic weekend, and ask him if it really doesn't annoy him everything the press has made up about the two of you, or if he's really that unbothered by being paired up with you in the wildest scenarios, and tell him that he can shut them down whenever he feels like it (you wish he would already), and let him know you won't mind whatever he says about not being involved with you.

But no, Mr. Leclerc is busy giving unclear answers at interviews and liking your instagram posts, as if this isn't already a wildfire.

You put down your phone and pick it back up almost immediately, Vic's ringtone fills your hotel room and you wipe away your tears before answering her FaceTime request.

"Were you crying?" it's the first thing she says, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head. There's a lot of noise in the background and you can barely make the words out, but she comes so close to the phone that all you can see is the tip of her nose. "Why were you crying?"

"It's nothing, Vic. What's up?" you sigh, rubbing your eyes only makes things worse but you don't want to worry about that now.

"I just got to Monaco, babe," the phone is at a safe distance from her nostrils again and you can see around her, the airport where you landed a few days ago. "I'm with my parents," she rolls her eyes, lowering her voice. "But if you could get me into the Ferrari Suite I can hang out with you tomorrow!"

They allowed you one guest and the spot has already been taken by Mati, so there really isn't much you can do in terms of getting her into the Ferrari Suite. "Well, let me see what I can do, okay?"

"Okay," she sounds unsure, you know Vic enough to be sure she expected a different answer. "I mean my parents have Lounge privileges but it's more fun to be with you."

Had she said something about coming to Monaco you might have been able to do something, but as far as you were concerned she planned to stay in France all week, enjoying Cannes and mingling.

"I'll do my best Vic, but you know how they are," you exhale heavily, "Plus it's a crazy-ass weekend."

"Isn't it always?" she's yawning now, "We can meet for dinner later and you can tell me what's up alright? Being with my parents is so boring."

You shake your head, "Be nice, they just want to hang out with you. I'll call you after Quali," you check the clock on top of the nightstand, it's 10 am. You have to get ready for FP3, which you don't care about attending or not but Stuart Schaffer asked to see you, so you haven't got much of a choice.

"Sure babes, love you." Vic pulls her sunglasses down again and blows a kiss to the screen.

"Love you too," it's your turn to yawn as you tap the hang up button.

You look at the special edition Ferrari cap you received as a gift yesterday on top of your suitcase and immediately discard the idea of wearing it. No caps. And then the wave of disgust invades you, are you seriously going to do what some random man said on a podcast you came across by accident?

The answer is yes, unfortunately.

─────────

You would rip your leg off if you could, at least it would mean you’d be able to get out of this chair and away from Stuart. But his palm resting on top of your knee feels like a death grip and you’re frankly afraid to move in case it goes further up.

Mati decided to skip FP3 and you’re really hoping she’ll be on time for Quali because you have no one else to talk to, Stuart is just parading you around again and keeping you way too close for comfort because he’s in a great mood since both Ferraris maintained their top spots and things are looking hopeful for Qualifying.

You know it’s your chance to ask if you can bring Victoria around tomorrow, and you know the answer will be yes, but you don’t. You don’t want to ask things from this man, he’s the type to never forget a debt.

You barely catch a glimpse of Carlos and Charles as they walk by on the way to their debrief and Charles waves at you quickly, with a single-dimpled smile. He’s wearing the same cap you refused to put on.

“I’m going to call my friend,” you blurt out once Charles is out of sight, finally moving your leg back to make Stuart’s hand drop. “She had the worst hangover, I have to check up on her.”

“Oh, you girls get wild in Monaco,” Stuart cackles as you sprint away from him, actually resisting the urge to wipe your knee clean.

"Hey y/n!" Mati's voice can barely be heard above the EDM playing wherever she is. "What's up?"

"Where are you?" you whine, looking back inside the Suite. "Help."

"What's wrong?" you picture her frowning as she tries to walk away from the noise helplessly.

You feel guilty for worrying her so you sigh. "Nothing, I just hate being here. Are you coming here for Qualifying?"

"Yep," she pops the 'p' and laughs. "Listen, why don't we have lunch here at the yacht and then go back for Quali?"

"Yes!" once again you look over your shoulder to where the Elix men are laughing at their own jokes and patting each other's backs. “I’m on my way, okay?”

“I’ll be right here, also don’t scare me like that again, please.”

“Sorry,” you chuckle, embarrassed. Maybe you’re a bit dramatic at times, but it’s really all good-natured. “See you in a minute.”

You turn to the door of the Suite, giving a short jump back when you open it at the same time as someone else.

“Oh, god,” you sigh, stepping inside as Charles moves out of the way to let you in. “Thanks.”

“Sorry I scared you,” he smiles, closing the door again once you’re fully in. Charles is once again holding a closed Elix can, tapping his fingers on the side.

You eye it suspiciously, wondering if the thing has really grown on him. After all, one of the first things he told you was how much it disgusted him.

“It’s alright. I thought you were in your debrief?” You grab a can of Elix yourself, looking good in front of the sponsors cannot hurt.

“It was a short one. Keep doing what you’re doing kind of thing,”

“Right. Well, good for both of you,” you look around for Carlos but he’s nowhere to be seen. “Would it jinx it to say ‘good luck’ for later?”

You know many sportspeople take their jinxes and rituals way seriously, and you don’t want to be the one to blame if something goes wrong for the local star.

Charles considers this for a second and then shakes his head no. “Wish me luck,” he smiles.

“Good luck, Charles.” You beam back at him, enjoying—despite yourself—the way his eyes burn into yours.

─��───────

You’re back at the Suite with Mati 10 minutes before Qualifying starts. The tension that had seeped out of your body in the form of laughter and loud singing with Mati is already making its way back to your back and jaw. You’re not ready to be around the Elix people again, but you must. However, first, you make Matilde promise she won’t leave your side.

Stuart Schaffer is already patting the empty seat next to him when you make your way through the refreshment tables. You smile at him, a muscle in your cheek falters as you walk past him on your way to the balcony, to catch both Ferraris leaving the garage.

“Oh don’t drink that,” you whisper when you see Mati walk your way, two cans of Gold Elix in her hands. “Don’t.”

Matilde snorts, “You’re literally the ambassador of this thing, and you don’t like it?”

“SHHH!”

“Fine, but those guys are looking at us so we have to at least sip it.”

You groan, opening the one she offers you and then taking a huge gulp. “Yum,” you mock.

Mati laughs again before her face goes sour with the taste. “Oh my God,”

“Warned you,” yet you take another sip. You think that if it grew on Charles it might grow on you, but you don’t really see it happening.

Q1 and Q2 go by smoothly, at least for Ferrari and you’re on the edge of your seat for Q3. This is the race you’ve been more excited for, but it’s not like you’ve attended many others. Still, Monaco just hits different.

The end of Q3 almost gives you a heart attack, although you also blame your almost empty Elix. You didn’t even notice how much you drank, but the thing that really gets your heart jumping out of your chest is Victoria’s ringtone.

Begrudgingly, you turn away from the track. She has texted you a thousand times, without exaggerating, since Quali started and you know it’s because she’s bored out of her mind at the Lounge with her parents. But you’re starting to find this genuinely entertaining and you are bothered by the distraction.

“I told you I’d call you after Quali, Vic,” you singsong, looking up at the screens inside the Suite.

“Well Quali is almost over, no one cares about the last three minutes.”

You do, Max Verstappen is in first place, then Charles and Checo in P3. You’re crossing your fingers for Charles to manage to get above both Red Bulls. And for Carlos to squeeze in there too.

You don’t say anything else, too enthralled by the battle on the screen.

“Y/n?” Vic raises her voice, “Are you listening to me?”

“Yes Vic, what is it?”

“We’re going to be at Ferrari together tomorrow, right?”

You wince, glad she chose a phone call instead of FaceTime this time around. You haven’t asked and you don’t intend to. Vic still has VIP Lounge access, she’ll be fine.

“They said no, Vic.” You lie, your eyes scanning the screen, it’s the last lap before they get the checkered flag out. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why? Did you tell them I can give them publicity? I have one million followers!”

“Monaco is different from Miami,” you explain gently, “But you’ll still be at the VIP, you have a great view.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she’s beyond annoyed now, as it happens every time things don’t go her way. You can’t blame her, but you also think it will be good for her to spend some time with her parents, whom she refuses to visit although they live in Malibu and pay her mortgage. “We’re still up for dinner though, right?”

“Yep! I’ll meet you at your hotel.”

“Okay see you then, babes.”

By the time your eyes return to the screen, Charles is in P1, Carlos in P3 and the Ferrari Suite is exploding in cheers.

YOU’RE up painfully early the next day. Vic and you went back to your respective hotel way past three am and you’re exhausted, but at least you had enough self-control to avoid today’s hangover.

Nevertheless, the morning goes by in a blur between breakfast with Elix people, calls with Mildred and Walter, your manager, and two casting agents that tell you that no, you don’t need to go for an in-person casting, you’re not getting the role.

By the time you get to the Suite you have a headache and the knot on your throat is progressively getting harder to swallow. You only make things worse by rage-reading tweets with your #IsOver hashtag.

People claim, with more force every day, that Aidan gave you everything and you are starting to regret ever meeting him.

You have worked your ass off for years, taking on small roles, commercials, stock-photo deals. Learning scripts and going to castings and taking classes, you have been criticized and rejected for more things than just “not fitting the role”.

You have given everything you are and everything you have, and people assure what you got in return you owe it all to some man.

“Hola y/n!” Carlos is the first one to get back to the Suite and you wish he would rub off some of his good mood on you. “How are you today?”

“Hi Carlos, I’m alright and you?”

“You definitely look it,” he says, semi-sarcastically. “Something on your mind?”

The knot is back in your throat so you shake your head no. “And yours?”

“Nada de nada.” he smiles. You’re still growing on each other, but this is the most comfortable you’ve been while sharing the same space.

Charles arrives while Carlos, Mati (who is hungover from her party at the yachts) and you are comparing workout playlists. Wearing what now seems to be like his comfort cap, and a pair of ugly ripped jeans, he smiles brightly at the three of you.

You’re happy to see both Ferrari boys so smiley after the past couple races. Miami especially. And you hope they’ll do well; but you’re particularly scared for Charles, and whatever it is that made him unlucky in his hometown, you don’t want this day to end on a sour note.

You spend about an hour talking to them about anything, your movies, their races, Mati's tour with Romeo and Juliet. Music, hobbies and quirks, Charles and Carlos have an opinion on everything and they are actually quite fun to be around. Then, a Ferrari Team member comes to get them for the Drivers Parade so you wave them goodbye, wishing them a smooth race.

"You're not going to wish me luck, y/n?" Charles asks, the smirk on his face is one you identify as mischievous, and it makes a small wave of anxiety run down your back.

Mati stops the bottle of water halfway through her mouth to ogle at the two of you, and the palpable tension that has installed itself in the space.

"Good luck, Charles," the smile you return falters in one corner, but Charles doesn't seem to mind as he adjusts his cap and says thank you before leaving behind Carlos.

Mati has forgotten about her need to hydrate and is staring at you with both eyebrows raised. "I thought you were not doing that?" she gestures with her head towards the door through which both drivers vanished.

"I'm not doing anything," you reply, defensively. "He's being—"

"y/n, you could cut the tension there for a minute," Mati finally takes a swig of water and you wait for her to continue talking. "Like I said, I don't recommend it but... you're free to do whatever you want." she isn't unkind while wording that last part, but it still stings you with annoyance.

"Thanks, Mati." you bite the inside of your cheek, leaning back into the sofa.

─────────

The Ferrari Suite explodes in cheers once the checkered flag is out. After a frankly insane race with rain, crashes and too-long pit stops, both Ferraris have crossed the finish line, and most importantly Charles has finally managed to get rid of his Monaco curse. His enlarged picture appears on every screen with P1 right in the middle. Carlos is P4, but the points are extremely important in the long run, so people celebrate nevertheless.

Before you know it, Mati and you are being dragged down to the track for the podium celebrations. You're buzzing with excitement, holding Matilde's hand as you run to one side, where the mechanics can't crush you as they jump up and down.

Even above the general screams of happiness, you can hear talks of 'Charles deserves this so much', 'It was about time' and 'His hard work is finally paying off at home'.

At least someone's blood, sweat and tears are valued.

YOU are probably not living down the Charles dating allegations this weekend. Which is not your fault, honestly, had they enlarged the picture, it would have shown Mati just as excited for Ferrari as you were. She's Italian, and she bleeds for Ferrari.

But right now, surprisingly, you're not overwhelmed with whatever it is they're saying on Twitter. Although it took Mati snatching your phone away and tossing it in her own purse before sitting you down to retouch your makeup for the celebration party.

Victoria is joining you too, because a 'the more the merrier' applies to any sort of party happening in a Monaco club, especially if it is for the unofficial prince.

It is the first time in three months you let go of your worries, even if it is for the shortest amount of time as you dance with Victoria and Mati and drink anything you please and whoop every time the DJ mentions Charles and Carlos.

You're happy to be with your friends, away from Elix and celebrating two people who can become something more than coworkers to you. Although through the night you see them on a few occasions, Carlos waves at you as he passes by a few times only stopping in the third time to let you congratulate him with a quick hug that's more of a shoulder squeeze than anything.

Charles is obviously harder to approach, and to be fair, it's not like you're even trying. He's surrounded by his hometown friends and by anyone who wants to have his attention for a minute, for a picture or a dance or to buy him a drink.

It's past three am when Victoria is beyond buzzed and you're starting to feel exhausted so you decide it's time to leave. Mati has found someone to take home so she's been gone for around forty minutes, minding her business.

"Come on, let's go," you are grabbing Victoria by the wrist as her ankle twists. "We've both had enough," you laugh, Victoria joins your laughter as you snake through the crowd of people pumping fists in the air, some of them point and wave at you and you smile back at them politely.

You hear your name being passed around a few times, but you focus on finding the exit while keeping Victoria by your side, who has started to whine about not wanting to leave.

Once you break into the outside, you take a breath of fresh air, the coolness makes your skin rise in goosebumps and you shiver, letting go of Victoria to lift the hair on the back of your neck.

"It's too early!" Victoria complains once again, her eyes are glassy and she's just as sweaty.

"It's not, plus you're drunk, we should leave," your ears still feel drowned in the sound of music. “My feet are killing me.”

The exit opens again, and a couple stumbles out laughing and they tell Vic and you goodbye in drunken French. Before the door shuts again, Charles is out on the street too.

"I heard you were leaving," he says in what you're sure it's a too loud voice. But your ears have barely stopped ringing, so you can't blame him. "Are you two okay?" he eyes Victoria, who is starting to lean down on her knees to soothe her dizziness.

"Oh we're alright, we've just partied enough," you smile at him. Charles is rosy, bright-eyed and sweaty. Is it corny to describe someone as painfully handsome?

"I didn't get to congratulate you," you add, trying to keep your attention on Charles while being aware that Victoria might start retching at any given moment. "You did amazing."

Victoria straightens immediately, her glassy stare focusing on Charles. "You're such a good driver, Charles, for real."

"Thank you," Charles nods awkwardly a few times as Victoria pokes him with her left index finger. "And thank you y/n."

"Come on, Vic," you chuckle, keeping her hand away from Charles. "Seriously though, I'm happy for you."

Charles smiles again, running a hand through his hair. "Thank you, really. I'm sorry I didn't see you earlier," he points behind him, to the club.

"It's your party, you can't be everywhere,"

Vic is yawning loudly, and you roll your eyes, amused. "We better get going."

"y/n, when are you flying to Spain?" Charles blurts out, the moment you turn to lead Vic down the street.

"I'm not sure, Wednesday probably?"

"You know, I can still show you a place or two in Monaco. If you want." He sinks his left hand in the front pocket of his dark jeans, and you wonder where the mischievous aura from what seems like ages ago went.

You pause, letting Vic put her whole weight on your shoulder as she finally gives up to the exhaustion. "Um well..."

The same tension that appeared at the Ferrari Suite is back, and the more you hesitate, the thicker it becomes.

Victoria pulls you down with her as she throws her head back, yawning again. Charles is just in time to hold you back up, his other arm pulling Vic back to a standing position.

"Only if you want," he says, he is far too close now and you can smell the mix of alcohol and cologne on him.

And maybe it's the alcohol in your own system, and you'll regret this once you sober up and realize that you told Matilde several times this is exactly what you were not going to do, but you say yes.

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I want to say thank you to everyone who interacts with this series, it means a lot to me to know that you're enjoying it!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @majx00

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 1 month

Text

03/29/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika/Rachel; Con O'neill; Will Arnett; Trans Day of Visibility; Cool Pirates; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

Hey lovelies, I'm late again, but I got some good sleep. I'm finding it's much easier to write love notes after I wake up so I'm debating how I wanna go about moving forward :) I'll keep you posted. Hope you have a good day <3

= David Jenkins =

Chaos Dad just poking his head out to weigh in on the milk debate. Src: @Soupbeech on twitter

= Rhys Darby =

Just a little sing along with our favorite captain.

The Edge Podcast: Apple / Spotify Source: EdgeAfternoons Instagram

= Taika Waititi =

Taika is spreading the word on Rachel House's new movie The Mountain! Src: Taika's IG

= Con O'Neill =

Con O'Neill just out in Dublin feeling cute. Src: Con's IG

= Will Arnet =

Will Arnett is just hanging with a few... Former Presidents of the United States?! SRC: Will Arnett's IG

= Samba Schutte =

== Trans Day of Visibility: Cool Pirates ==

First on the #CoolPirates From in the House is Kate!/Force! Learn more about Kate: Tumblr

#CoolPirates from the crew side: Jes Tom! @jesthekid 💛🤍💜🖤 🏳️‍⚧️ Instagram / Tumblr

== Fan Spotlight ==

Yes! And how could we forget, CHICKEN HAT MAN, Ted Barton! Thank you @melvisik!!

= Big Gay Energy Podcast =

Another reaction episode of Big Gay Energy Podcast is out!

youtube

== Love Notes ==

Can I just take a moment to tell you all how much you mean to me? I have been on the internet for a long time, since the olden days of AOL, Dial Up Internet, yelling at your family to get off the phone so you can log on, and when google image search had only like 3 pictures when you did a search on it (my first image search was Harrison Ford by the way).

And never in my many years of fandoms, and being online have I ever met such a wonderfully welcoming group of people. I spent a lot of years being anxious, and even now, when my confidence has grown, it was hard at first to want to just jump into the fandom. But you know what? I took a leap, and all you wonderful people just welcomed me, and every other person with open arms. You were kind, and supportive, and continue to be every single day.

I see so many folks mention that they were afraid to use tumblr or to engage and then some kind person in the fandom made them feel safe and welcome, and now we have another lovely, talented, kind, beautiful member of our crew.

This fandom really is second to none, and I want you to know just how much a positive impact on the world you have, because it's huge. And sure, we do some other cool stuff like raise money and things but like, on a day to day scale, you make people feel safe. Our crew gets to go throughout there day with a positive experience they didnt have prior... they can take that positivity and spread it to others because they might have one more spoon today because of all of you.

I just want you to know you make such a wonderful impact on this world, so if you're ever struggling and wondering where to go from here, poke your head back into this fandom and see all the love we have for you.

Hope you have a lovely day/night m'dears, get some rest this weekend <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Today's theme is Silly!

Darby gif courtesy of @thunderwingdoomslayer

Taika gift courtesy of @mxmollusca

#ofmd #daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #our flag means death #rhys darby #david jenkins #taika waititi #samba schutte #will arnett #jes tom #trans day of visibility #con o'neill #rachel house #save ofmd #adopt our crew #Youtube

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kiibichio · 3 months

Text

PLAY DATE 2. 𐙚 ❤︎ M. STURNIOLO

OVERVIEW ;; you and matt get into a heated argument over your ‘friends with benefits’ deal, how will it end ?? (good ending i promise)

CONTAINS ;; angst, fluff, good ending !! (that’s it?)

momo speaks ;; PART TWO OF THISSS. this was so fun to writeee. I HOPE U GUYS REALLY LIKED IT BC I WORKED HARDD MAN I WAS BREAKING A SWEAT OVER HERE (but kinda rushed). enjoy !! (PART ONE HERE <33)

date published ;; 02.20.24

not proofread !!

——————————————————————————————

6:49 pm.

“are you serious? you just told me you ‘missed me so much’, but you’re letting me leave just like that? am i just some sort of play date to you?” i ask, sitting up. anger, sadness and confusion written all over my face.

maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

matt goes silent for a while, then speaks up.

“you do realize that when we started this we both mutually agreed to have no feelings right?” he says, trying to keep his cool

“well- i mean yeah, but-” i try to speak

“then what makes you think i want to be something more?” he cuts me off. he stands up and starts to get dressed.

“matt. good fucking god, i mean you just have sex with me that damn near kick me out?”

tears start filling my eyes. shit.

“yeah!” he exclaims sarcastically “i do because when we established this, i told you i didnt want a fucking relationship. we’re just friends that just so happen to fuck.” matt raises his voice at me.

then the water works break. goddammit.

i wipe my eyes before speaking up, “okay then… if that’s how you want it to be, then we can end this shit right fucking now. im not gonna allow myself to be used like some damn sex toy.”

“wait.. y/n- c’mon i didn’t mean it like that.” matt tries to explain, regretting what he had just said.

“oh no. i fully understand what you meant,” i reply, now getting dressed.

“fuck..” he mumbles under his breath, but still loud enough for me to hear.

“that’s all you have to say?” i stand up after putting my shoes on, crossing my arms in front of the bedroom door.

matt goes silent.

“oh, what? we’re mute now? real cute.” i ask sarcastically before storming out the room. he follows behind me, trying to explain himself with ‘y/n this!’ and ‘y/n that!’ but i easily tune him out.

as i reach the front door, it starts to open.

it’s just chris and nick, i give a small wave and quickly pass by them and start walking to my house.

ill be damned if i ever let somebody treat me like this shit again.

——————————————————————————————

an hour later, i get a knock on my door. dear lord, who is it now? i walk over to the front door and open it.

matt’s on the other side.

“hey.. forgot your phone…” he says sheepishly, handing it over to me.

“mhm. thanks.” i answer. i start to close the door before he pushes it open again.

“can i… come in?” he asks

“why? so you can screw me over again? no thanks.”

“y/n. im serious. please?”

i can tell he’s serious, but im still hesitant.

i sigh and open the door wider to let him enter.

he makes his way to the couch, while i lock the door and follow behind him, but sitting on the opposite side of him.

there’s a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

“just gonna sit there?”

he lets out a deep breath, “listen, i’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. i didn’t take your feelings into consideration and i clearly wasn’t thinking in that moment.” matt explains sincerely.

“i accept your apology. and i understand, but now that my secrets out, we cant keep doing this. it’s just- not.. right.” i shake my head

“that’s another thing i wanted to talk about. it’s not that i don’t like you.. i do- it’s just…” he sighs

“what, matt? you can talk to me. we’re still friends.” i speak. i move closer to him and put my hand on top of his.

“ive been extremely busy lately. flying back and forth, videos, podcasts, everything. its just a lot to handle and im not sure im ready for commitment. so its not a no.. its just a ‘not now.’” he looks at me.

after he said that, i felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. i needed that sense of reassurance. but now i feel like the asshole. i should’ve thought about him too.

“that’s perfectly fine, matt. i can handle that.” i start to smile, “ill wait for you, matt. take as much time as you need.”

he hugs me and i can feel his face growing into a soft smile against my shoulder.

“thank you, y/n.”

4 months later ;;

“matt! baby, i missed you so much!!” i say, leaping in his arms as he walks out into the airport parking lot towards my car. i attack him with kisses all over his face and hug him just a bit too tight.

“too tight, my love.” he says almost out of breath.

“it’s not my fault, this is the first time you’ve ever left me like this! i just really, really missed you.” i exclaim, letting go of him.

“you’re so extra.” he chuckles

okay that first part was a partial lie, but it really is the first time he’s gone back to boston without his girlfriend of 2 months!

“can you two get a room? good fucking god.” nick says disgusted, chris nodding his head and agreeing with his brother.

me and matt both shoot them the middle finger and continue walking to the car.

he grabs my hand, “i missed you too, though baby. i was thinking about you the whole time. and…” he continues to tell me how much he had missed me and loves me.

best boyfriend ever.

——————————————————————————————

momo speaks (again) ;; ugh this was really rushed im sorry if it sucks 😭😭 BUT I GOT IT DONE. love you guys <3 hope you enjoyed !! TOODLES xx

tag list ;; @sturniolos-blog @mayhem-72 @hearts4chris 🍵

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #youtube #youtuber #fan fiction #fan fic writing #fanfic #fandom #sturniolo fluff #kiibichio

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ladylooch · 1 year

Text

All About You- Brady Skjei

A/N: Whew, is it ever too early for smut on a Saturday? No? Okay thanks for making me feel better 🤪

I had a couple of requests for Brady Skjei, so this is my gift to both of those lovely anons.

My perception of Brady is very, very soft with a rough side, so I tried to capture that perception here. Thanks for reading!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: 18+ Content, swearing, unsavory things while driving (be safe. Obey most of the laws).

I’m awakened on an off-day Sunday by Brady rolling out of bed. I wince at the sun streaking in through the blinds, annoyed with last night us that decided we were too drunk to do one last step. I toss my arm over my eyes, stretching my back out. I attempt to settle myself deeper into bed as I feel the other side dip from Brady’s return.

“How do you want your coffee?” He asks me. His fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling it from my face so he can place kisses along my soft skin. I sigh at the brief presses, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

“Cold and in two hours.” I mutter.

“Cold it is.” Another kiss and he’s gone.

I doze in and out of consciousness for the next few minutes until I hear his heavy footsteps coming back down the hall. I open one eye at him, seeing my to-go tumbler filled with delicious liquid gold. I reach for it, confused.

“Am I going somewhere?”

“Yeah, baby. Get dressed. Comfy clothes only today.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” His smile is mischievous.

“Brady, it’s too early for games.” I say to him, slowly sitting up. My shoulders slouch forward. I can tell my hair is a mess, my mascara is definitely smudged into raccoon eyes and my breath is hot garbage. And still, he looks at me like he’s never seen anything more beautiful. His brown eyes liquify. Eventually, he comes to, leaning forward to connect our lips. He doesn’t mind garbage breath.

“No games. I promise.” He says nothing more as he wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me from the bed.

“This is a game.”

“No, it’s to get you to move that hot ass a little faster.” He sets me in the bathroom then gives my butt a slap. “Hustle, Skjei.”

I try to do as coach asked, alternating between getting ready tasks and small sips of my coffee. Brady comes in at least three more times to check my progress until I shut the door on him.

“You’re making this take longer!” I yell through the door at his protesting.

“I need you done in five minutes.” He responds.

I’m done in three, opening the door to find him laying on the bed, hands crossed over his stomach, staring at the ceiling. He pops up, assessing my outfit of yoga pants and a cropped, peach sweatshirt. My hair is settled into a high ponytail and I’m makeup free.

“Just the way I like you.” He murmurs, walking towards me. His hands slide to my ass, gripping both cheeks with his strong hands. His mouth encloses mine. My fingers card through his long hair, tugging the strands slightly just how he loves. “Oof. Okay, we better go before I change my mind.”

“When do I get to know where we are going?” I ask him as I click my seatbelt into place.

“When we get there.” He insists, pulling out of our garage. “Enjoy the ride, baby.” He jokes as he puts on my favorite true crime podcast that he literally loathes. I squeal in delight, tucking my legs into a pretzel, gripping my tumbler and listening intently.

We are on the road, traveling through the morning humidity haze until we come to an obscure building with windows only facing out towards a fenced wooded area. I turn to Brady expectantly.

“Today is all about you.” He murmurs. “You’ve been so good to me this season. Taking care of every detail with the house renovation, food for us, attending every home game, and making sure I’m always ready to hit the road. I love and appreciate you so much. I couldn’t be successful in this league without you.”

“B-” I pout sweetly at him.

“Nah. Don’t deflect. I mean it, I’m so lucky to have you. So, I planned a whole spa day for you. Just you. I know you really want to get some alone time in to recharge, so it’s all set for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, whatever they do here, you’re getting it. You deserve to be pampered. And I would gladly do it, but I think you’ll be getting better service from the professionals.” I laugh, thinking of Brady attempting to paint my nails.

“Let’s be honest. We wouldn’t get passed the massage part.” I grin, leaning across the center console to kiss him. “You’re so sweet. Thank you.”

“Thank you. Now, get out of this car. I’ll pick you up in five hours.”

Brady wasn’t kidding. He absolutely went all out for me. The spa had it all- tranquil music, cozy waiting areas, and the most luxurious robes I’d ever slipped onto my body. I started with a gentle, Swedish massage, then moved into a moisturizing facial. By the time I got to my manicure and pedicures, I was a puddle of goo in the chair. I sipped on expensive champagne, ate delicious snacks of fruit and assorted cheeses all while enjoying my own company and several podcasts that had built up in my Spotify episodes. By the time I saw my husband again, I felt like a completely different person.

“Holy shit.” I say to him as I collapse into the passenger seat. His hand immediately finds my thigh, rubbing his thumb against the smooth fabric of my pants. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this relaxed in my whole life. And that includes our honeymoon.” I rest my head back against the seat, sighing contently. I slowly open my eyes, turning to Brady who gives me that same look from this morning- like I’m the best thing he’s ever seen. “Thank you.” I finish in a whisper. “This season has been a grind.” I admit, not that it’s news. After two shortened seasons, the 82 game season was an adjustment.

“I know.” He reaches his hand up, cupping my cheek to bring our lips together. He feels like heaven. I can’t help but moan. The air in the car shifts and Brady presses his mouth tighter to mine. I nibble his bottom lip in my mouth, reaching my hand out to skirt across the zipper of his shorts.

“Only one more thing could make this day perfect.”

“Oh, we aren’t even close to done yet.” He tells me. “That was just phase one.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” I whine, watching as he pulls away to start driving.

“It was the five star head on our 1st date.”

“Brady!” I snap, slapping his thigh. His quad seemingly claps back, making my hand sting. My cheeks tint red at the memory. Normally I’m not someone to put out on the first date, but something about Brady was different from the start. I wanted to.. no I had to, at that sophomore year homecoming party hosted by the hockey team.

“I think about that on a weekly basis.” He admits to me, flipping his turn signal on and heading to the right. “Knew I’d do just about anything to keep that mouth on me.” I drop my head in my hands, laughing. I slide my fingers apart, swiveling my head to look at him.

“What would you do for it right now?” I can feel the breath rush from his chest at the thought. Most of our way home is obscure backroads. Very little traffic is with us or going the opposite direction. It’s risky, but not impossible.

“You start us in this car and I’ll finish us inside of you.”

“Promise?” I ask, skirting my fingers along the growing bulge.

“Yeah, baby.” He moans as I work the button of his shorts apart.

After a little awkward maneuvering, I get him out of his boxer briefs. I work the seatbelt around my shoulders, keeping it across my lap and perching my mouth in front of his thick shaft. I wrap my fingers delicately around it, pumping the velvet skin and watching as a bead appears at his slit. My tongue licks at it, savoring the salty pleasure. Brady’s hand comes between my shoulder blades like he’s bracing himself for what is next. I kiss his tip the leisurely part my lips for pull him into my mouth. The passionate sigh he releases has anticipating tightening my inner core.

“Was it this good?” I ask him before taking him all the way into my mouth. I let him thrust deeper, nudging down my throat.

“No.” He admits. “It’s better now that you’re my wife.” I smile around him, then grip the base of his shaft with my hand. When my mouth and hand begin to work together, Brady groans deeply. His breathing increases and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. He presses into my back, encouraging me deeper. I do, then revel in the tortured sounds coming from his mouth. I feel the car stop, sensing we are just about to turn left into our neighborhood. “Go faster until the light turns green.” He begs. I comply, working him over quickly- sucking, licking, and squeezing. “Fuuuuuck.” He moans. A car honks behind us. Brady tugs my ponytail for me to stop. “No more until we are home. Damn, I hate saying that, but I won’t make it if you keep going.”

I pop back up, shoulders rolled back like a queen while wiping at my mouth. Brady’s hand moves to between my legs, feeling the heat radiating. He works his fingers in deeper as I spread wider for him. I grip his wrist as he teases me with the tips of his fingers, not able to get the movement he wants through my Lulu’s.

“Hold on a bit longer, babe.” He says as he turns onto our street.

The garage door is barely open enough for the car to clear. I cringe, expecting Brady to hit it and breathe a sigh of relief when he doesn’t. When the car is in park, he pushes the button again to close. I shove my door open, meeting him on the outside. Our hands grope each other greedily. He works us backwards towards the door. He presses me hard against the wood, wrapping my knee around his waist to grind into my folds.

I reach behind me, twisting the knob so we crash into the mudroom. Brady spins us, then pulls me towards the built in oak, cubbies.

“Come here.” He demands, sitting in the middle of the built ins. I laugh, thinking of how we built these slots for our future children to have a place for their little coats and shoes.

Brady’s shorts drop to his ankles. I work myself to straddle his lap, more than ready for him to be stuffed inside of me. I grip his rigid cock so I can slide down. I glide down him, settling my thighs against his. I moan, accepting his immediate thrusting up into me. I’m so wet, him so rigid, that the feelings are electing profound moans from us both.

“Good God.” He pants, looking up into my face as I ride him. He shoves my shirt up, pulling my sports bra down to reveal my nipple. I sob out in pleasure as he works the bud with his tongue. I reach up, gripping the metal hooks and adjusting my angle on him.

“Yes. Oh my god, yes.” I laugh incredulously at how unbelievable it feels. I can already feel my orgasm torturing me for release. “Babe.” I warn him.

“Mmm, you’re so beautiful fucking me like this.” He insists between tugs on my nipple.

“I’m coming.” I tell him. He keeps the exact tempo I need, keeping my nipple flush against his tongue as he wiggles me to my explosive orgasm. “Fu-fuck yes.” I wail, gripping the back of his neck, my fresh manicure digging into his tan skin. “Shit.” I sob to him as my inner muscles clench tightly around him.

“God damn.” He moves his hand to the small of my back, working my hips into him until he fills me. I rut against him to help him finish completely, then collapse against his chest.

“So our least favorite kid gets this one?” He jokes of the cubbies.

“That’s mean…” I trail off, hot breath dancing against his t-shirt.

“Fair… maybe the one we just made then.” I smile against his skin.

“So we are trying now?”

“I mean, you threw your birth control out of the car last night on the way home from dinner?”

“What!” I exclaim, shocked.

“Yeah, you were like… I’m ready Brady!” He mocks me with a high voice. His hand tosses over his shoulder.

“What the…” I trail off, not remembering that. “Stop letting me drink Palomas.”

“I mean, I just came in you unprotected so, I’ve done what I can on that for nine months.”

“Yeah… then I guess we are trying. Thanks drunk me.” I giggle, placing our lips together. Brady gently lifts me. I wince a bit as he slides out, my folds feeling used and a bit raw.

“Okay?” He asks me, searching my face.

“Way better than okay.” I assure him.

“You ready for phase two?”

“Mhm.”

“Good. Trashy TV, couch cuddles, and take out- coming right up.”

It’s finally confirmed, I think to myself as Brady exits the mudroom to get phase 2 prepared. Being married to Brady Skjei is heaven on earth.

#Brady skjei #Brady Skjei fan fiction #Brady Skjei smut #Carolina hurricanes #hockey writing #NHL fan fiction #writing request #my writing

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softstraykidshours · 1 year

Text

~skz when they're stuck in traffic ~

pairing: none, just ot8 stray kids

genre: fluff, headcanon

length: 375

warnings: none (other than traffic and low key road rage lol)

chan

he is so prepared for this situation, like this man has basically all the emergency supplies you could possibly need (this includes a water bottle to pee in just in case)

already has spare snacks for basically any type of craving

he’s a big “listening to podcasts to kill time” guy

he will usually save the newest episode of one of his favorite podcasts for when he's stuck in traffic as a way to make waiting forever more enjoyable for himself

minho

the silence is so loud

he doesn't really talk when he's stuck in traffic, but he’s the kind to use aggressive hand motions

will white knuckle the steering wheel out of unadulterated rage

once traffic clears enough, call him vin diesel with the way he just tokyo drifts through lanes to escape

changbin

he becomes a total dad when stuck in traffic

he's checking google maps to see how much farther ahead traffic will last

he’s also the one that will report accidents or traffic to google so other people know about it

making dad comments like “gen z doesnt know how to drive,” “i remember when there wasn't this much traffic” literally the entire time

hyunjin

sooooo dramatic

this is quite literally the worst moment of his life and no one can convince him otherwise

how dare traffic be bad while he’s on the road??? disrespectful

will not stop complaining and whining about it the entire time he's stuck and for at least an hour after the traffic clears up

jisung

he is so loud out of straight fear

he doesn't like stopping on the freeway so the second he sees brake lights, he's yelling as if the world is about to implode

“please don't hit me please don't hit me please don't hit me”

he turns off any music and makes anyone in the car with him stay silent for the entirety of traffic because it "helps him focus"

felix

the nicest person you will ever be stuck in traffic with

he is sooo nice, like he is letting 4 people in ahead of him to merge

everyone behind him hates him (i can't blame them)

will be apologizing to the other car if someone almost hits him

likes being stuck in traffic because it gives him more time to talk with whoever is traveling with him

seungmin

his road rage just gets worse as the time goes on

he absolutely hates traffic and blames everyone else but himself

will keep the same even tone of voice with his comments, but will get so much meaner

“this wouldn't happen if everyone knew how to zipper”

“you stupid idiot what the hell are you thinking?!”

jeongin

he's not driving

he’s the passenger princess so he’s having a pretty good time while stuck in traffic because he doesn't have to navigate any of it

but he is 100% side seat driving

everything you do is wrong and he could have gotten you out to traffic ages ago if he was the one driving

#stray kids imagines #bang chan imagines #lee know imagines #changbin imagines #hyunjin imagines #han jisung imagines #felix imagines #seungmin imagines #jeongin imagines #stray kids #stray kids headcanons #headcanons #mine #soft stray kids hours #q: painting with hyunjin

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blacklister214 · 3 months

Text

Patrick's and Eliza's Relationship Isn't Platonic Friendship (3x06)

After reading the podcast transcript which claimed Scarnash was never intended as a romance, I went back and watched their scenes again. There are any number of looks from Patrick and a few from Eliza that I would interpret as romantic, but I suppose that can be subjective. It also can be hard to discern the exact nature of a relationship, rather than just the value you place on it. In 3x06 however I found solid character aligned evidence of romantic feelings from both Patrick and Eliza.

Patrick's clues were more obvious. William has given Patrick several cases that year (side note, any particular reason he didn't give them to Eliza instead? But I digress.) Patrick knows the value of this relationship to his business. He yells at Eliza for being antagonistic with Phelps in season 4 for this reason. Despite this, he picks fights with William. First, he insults William's progress on the case, and then criticizes him for "making excuses" Later he blames their lack of progress on what William's "friends" did to his office, when he knows perfectly well William had nothing to do with it. He even manages to covertly sticking out his tongue at William whilst ostensibly licking his pen. The only explanation for this out of character behavior is that he views William as a rival. They are not professional rivals here so the only thing it can be is a romantic rivalry.

The second clue that Patrick is romantically interested in Eliza, is how interested he is in William's dinner plans. He stops what he's doing to listen to the exchange, and then prods for more information. Contrast this behavior to Moses', who couldn't care less about who William is meeting for dinner.

Finally Eliza. I actually missed this the first few watches, but then it hit me: Eliza is trying to cook without Ivy. She only has ever done that when Arabella's skills were making her feel insecure about her relationship with William. She is cooking in this episode with no expectation of William joining them. To my recollection she's never offered to cook for Moses. The new element here is Patrick. It doesn't seem like he asked her to either, so this has to be her trying to prove to him that she can. Hilariously, unlike William whose heart is definitely through his stomach, Patrick doesn't give a damn and just runs out and grabs food for them all. She's not good at cooking, he knows it, and after a single teasing line he is ready to move on.

#scarnash #patrick nash #miss scarlet and the duke #eliza scarlet #shipping

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poppyandzena · 16 hours

Note

(same anon as the recent recaps re: Noeh)

Someone anon'd Noeh with their theory that the rpe accusation was partially just a way to avoid admitting that Noeh might have broken up with them simply because Poppy (and P&Z) were just toxic, undesirable partners.

That's totally spot on.

Especially when Poppy had been so wildly vocal about their obsession with Noeh. Admitting that Noeh left after meeting them one time wouldn't be good for the ego or for the reputation. It could make other people question things.

Especially since the timing was so soon after Milena released the first docs and GayFesh was already on the way out. An UNDESIRABLE SUCUBUS?

All of the P&Z yelling has always been following the same playbook:

Deny. Divert. Delay. Discredit.

Step 1: Deny

None of that happened. The screenshots are out of context. My child is lying. Those docs are all lies. The few things that I am willing to admit to (because I can't deny it), aren't really that bad. Noeh totally wanted me. Noeh never said that she was ACE. Okay, maybe she did once, but she didn't really mean it because she didn't understand it. I don't HAVE to pressure someone into having sex with me. In fact, I only ever have sex with people who are ENTHUSIASTIC, so clearly Noeh was. Besides, restricting bathroom time is normal. Yelling at my partner all day long is healthy communication. Telling my prospective partners that they are responsible for my mental health and I'm not is a "boundary" that they must follow or it's their fault if anything goes wrong. *I* didn't dox those people, someone else did! It's not even LEGALLY doxing. *I* never harassed Noeh, I just put that image of her being called a r*pist up for a few months and repeated it and tagged her in it. That didn't have any REAL WORLD impact like me my job. People didn't stop being my friend because I was pushy, cruel, and selfish, it was just VIBES. People are only saying things because they got weaponized against me! I'm a licensed therapist. I know more than you. I AM RIGHT.

Step 2: Divert

Yeah, you have proof? Well I do, too! So much! Thousands of tweets worth! More than you could ever read or follow! Look at all those screenshots! Read these tweets! And these 7 articles that may or may not agree with me! By the time you realize that they don't actually prove my point I'll already be talking about the next thing and I'll make fun of you for trying so hard to prove that one small thing - that's just more proof of how dumb you are! Plus, I talked to lawyers! And a therapist! Maybe 5! Also, a bunch of these people only left because of VIBES! They didn't even read the docs! So that's proof that the docs are dumb! Look at all of these people who agree with me! Liana has a podcast so that makes her more believable! I'll also tag all of my allies all the time so that they have to get involved! Don't pay attention to whether or not they are "good" people. They are good because they agree with me and I AM RIGHT.

Step 3: Delay

I have so much proof! Slam dunk proof that my lawyers said would literally win any case against me. I'll get it out if I have to. I need to gather it up. There is a video coming at some point soon. I'll have to see if I can find that screenshot. If I get forced to show it and it doesn't match what I lied about, then I'll just say I was wrong. Oopsy no big deal no me. It's the bigger picture that matters most! Go read NightWyld's doc first before you talk to me. Go read that article I posted two weeks ago. I'll win a debate against anyone about this, but also I won't talk to any people who already spoke to my ENEMIES. I'll cover it later. On a different channel. Until then, though, just know that I am telling the 100% truth because I AM RIGHT.

Step 4: Discredit

You can't believe anything that this "mob" says. Milena is a ST*LKER (a term I notice Poppy picked up from Liana's discrediting of her own accusations). Noeh is a R*PIST! GayFesh is only doing it for the likes (even though all of their other posts get MORE attention). Spawn is a lying c*nt (still can't believe she called her child a c*nt). My old boss and friend of 20 years is just greedy and weak! Loomie wants to kill all animals! White Nervosa is weak and only doing what people tell them! One of them looked at KF one time, so they're all FARMERS! And SA apologists! Look at who they one time liked a tweet from! OMG! These are the people you want to TRUST? They are all just on a coordinated effort to end me. The goal is to make me admit I'm wrong. No, wait, the goal is to make me get cancelled. No wait, the goal is to make me lose my job. No, wait, the goal is to get clout off of me! No wait, the goal is to.. nevermind, it doesn't matter what the goal is because they are wrong and I AM RIGHT.

The sad part is that it is working somewhat. Poppy is still managing to drag new people into this and get them over to their side.

Although I notice they aren't having as much success anymore. They've lost partners because they didn't want to get dragged into the constant posting and tagging. Their own posts are only being liked and retweeted by Saige and their own secondary accounts.

That's why I follow this blog and try to keep engagement going. So that people have a safe, active space for when they are ready to start looking for the truth.

🧡🧡🧡

#poppy #poppy and zena #zena and poppy #poppy diabolique #ladydiabolique #poppy & zena #zenaandpoppyonyoutube #zena #spawn #nf

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antrea · 18 days

Text

24.04.26 PHLY Flyers: F-Around Friday: Examining Flyers future of Joel Farabee, Morgan Frost, & Tyson Foerster

I was laughing my head off at some parts of the PHLY show today - I really enjoy listening to their Flyers content! Full show here. Charlie O'Connor: beat reporter covering the Flyers for PHLY Sports, formerly of The Athletic. Kelly Hinkle: reporter and podcast host for Broad Street Hockey. Bill Matz: podcast host for PHLY Sports and PHLY Flyers.

Excerpts of some of the Frosty discussion:

Charlie: I mean, he's best buds - he's best buds with Joel Farabee - have you seen those pictures when they do like the hands like -

Kelly: Yes. They're very cute. Charlie: It's extremely, like, bros for life.

Bill: How's he ever supposed to get a big raise if the coach doesn't like playing him? Like, this is bad for his career. Charlie: I think you underestimate, like, just how like, good of a dude Morgan Frost is - Kelly: He seems like a very nice dude. Charlie: He's a very nice boy. Bill: You can be nice but still go like 'I want to be a millionaire!' Charlie: But I think that was part the reason - like the fact that he is a very nice boy - now a very nice man - was one of the reasons why Tortorella tortured him as much as he did - Kelly: Oh yeah - Bill: *cracks up laughing* Charlie: - because he wanted him to yell at him. Bill: He's such an asshole. Everyone: *laughs*

[more about how Frost might be too nice to fight for more than what the Flyers org gives him 😔; his big step forward defensively this season - this season he ranked in the 80th percentile amongst forwards in terms of defensive impact; how there's still room for improvement especially with his play-making skillset on the power play and bring back Frost in the bumper!]

Charlie: Yes, Morgan Frost is naturally I think something of a people pleaser, and he does want to earn the respect and love of John Tortorella. However - Kelly: Debatable. Charlie: - I do think Morgan Frost - if you put him on a lie detector would he much rather be playing for a coach who, like, actively gave him positive reinforcement? Yeah, probably! I think he might like that a little bit more. Kelly: Yeah, if you're at the Phils game with him and Joel, he's probably not like, 'You know who I miss?' Kelly & Charlie: 'John Tortorella.' Charlie: *cracks up* Kelly: 'I wish he was here.'

#morgan frost #philadelphia flyers #flyers #flyers hockey #extremely bros for life #HE'S A VERY NICE BOY #also charlie is always saying morgan is very polite and nice to the media ;;;;#kelly's delivery of you know who i miss? john tortorella #had me in TEARS #morgan too nice and soft making torts want to TORTURE him oh my gah

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hemmohaze · 1 month

Text

The One With The Camera.

Warnings: Cursing

August 2019

"Hey Mom!” Gabriella answered her phone, setting her camera down and leaning against a mural she was photographing. She always had the brightest smile on her face whenever one of her parents called.

"Hey baby.” Her mom said with a smile on her face sitting on the patio of her childhood home in Laguna Beach.

Gabriella currently works as UCLA's photographer for the campus, ranging from highlighting the art that students have made and displayed around school to creating posters for upcoming events on campus.

Her and her mom continued talking until her roommate, Ashlyn sent her a text urging her to come back to their shared apartment.

Gabriella got to their apartment as Ashlyn basically dragged her in and sat her on the couch.

"Ouch could you pull my damn arm any harder!" Gabriella exclaimed once she sat down.

Ashlyn disregarded her statement as she was pacing back and forth around the apartment while having the biggest Cheshire cat smile.

Ashlyn ran a podcast on campus called The Ashlyn Show almost a direct hit to her favorite show as a kid 'The Amanda Show’ even if the creator of the show was a complete creep.

She talks about topics ranging from the Sephora kids she's been seeing on TikTok to environmental issues. Gabriella also films and edits every video she does.

"Okay so you know how I've been sending countless emails and messages to the radio staff to have musical guests on my podcast right every week, just to bring in more viewers?" She started.

Gabriella shook her head yes as she picked at the skin around her grown out acrylic nails.

"So obviously I've been getting some pretty shitty soundcloud producers and rappers." Gabriella’s lips pursed into a thin line as she raised an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that."

"Well look no further than here, 5 Seconds of Summer are coming on the podcast in less than 15 minutes!" Ashlyn exclaimed, shaking Gabriella’s hands and jumping up and down with her.

"Oh my god shut up! I love their newest single 'Teeth' so much. Not to mention I've had the biggest celebrity crush on their lead singer ever since I was 12 and saw him doing covers on Youtube."

"I'm telling you this would be a great opportunity for both of us, you can plug your video and editing skills and I could woo Ashton with my impressive conversion skills." Ashlyn suggested while dramatically flipping her long red hair over her left shoulder.

"Hey, you guys have matching hair colors. I guess it's a sign." Gabriella joked with her.

"Oh my goodness you're right!!" Ashlyn said, taking the joke seriously. Gabriella just chuckled at her friend.

Gabriella's eyes soon widened as she racked over her appearance. An old graphic tee, some biker shorts and her beat up black converse. "I didn't even straighten my hair today. I look disgusting." She pointed to the messy strands of blonde hair falling out of her bun that she spent too much time this morning that she'd rather not mention.

Ashlyn scoffed as she grabbed her studio keys and clutch wallet from the bowl at the door. “Oh please you look gorgeous as always."

She sighed and collected her video camera, lenses, and tripod before following Ashlyn across campus and into her studio that she rents in the radio station.

"They should be here within the next 5 minutes. I'm gonna go pee before I piss myself mid interview. You can set up your camera and video stuff over there." Ashlyn pointed in the middle of the room

"Well if you did that Ashton would be surprised! I don't think it would be a good surprise nonetheless a surprise." Gabriella yelled as Ashlyn flipped her off from behind.

Gabriella laughed as she set up her video camera and tripod and scrolled on her phone on instagram stories to wait for Ashlyn to return from the bathroom.

She stopped at the @5SOS instagram story as it was a picture of Luke walking across their campus with the caption of 'Tune into our interview on 'The Ashlyn Show' podcast 2pm EST/ 11am PST'

Ashlyn returned less than 2 minutes later and started turning on her LED lights around the small space and turned on all the mics to make sure they worked correctly. She turned on their song 'Teeth' as the boys came in. Gabriella got up and turned her livestream onto the waiting room page and set the timer for 3 minutes.

They all shook her hand and sat down while introducing themselves. Gabriella looked everywhere except in Luke's direction. He looked so good in his yellow satin shirt and black jeans, his signature boots on his feet. Such a simple outfit but on his tall frame it had her weak in the knees.

"Hi guys! It's me, Ashlyn and welcome back to The Ashlyn Show. Obviously you guys know Gabby," Ashlyn dramatically held her left hand out towards the girl who peeped her head in the camera frame and waved. "Hey guys."

"Andddd that was Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer, their latest single! Thank you guys so much for taking the time out of your busy day to come chat!" Ashlyn spoke to the video camera Gabriella had set up to livestream.

"Thank you so much for having us, we hope people enjoy us fucking around for about 2 hours." Micheal joked after 2 minutes of awkward silence. Gabriella made a mental note to herself bleep most of the cuss words they use when she goes to edit.

The interview was going great. They had amazing chemistry with Ashlyn as she kept up with their jokes and chaotic energy, Gabriella even joined in on some of the jokes with them.

Ashton made a joke about the two having matching hair as Ashlyn blushed redder than a tomato. Gabriella even started laughing along with them which she felt Luke’s eyes on her whenever she did.

Within 10 minutes of the interview starting, they already had close to 100,000 people watching them, the most viewers they've seen all year. Close to the end of the interview, Luke subtly found Gabriella’s Instagram account through the podcast account.

After the interview they guys had to leave to go do more press interviews. Luke was bummed out because he really wanted to talk to Gabriella.

Back in the car Luke finally had the guts to follow Bianca's instagram thanks to Calum basically grabbing his phone and doing it for him. It took everything in him to not follow her professional one as well, he thought that'd be a little stalker vibes, he did scroll through it though.

—————

Gabriella stood in the kitchen as she watched her instant microwave noodles spin when she felt her phone buzz in the waistband of her Victoria's Secret pink pajama shorts. She pulled it out and saw an Instagram notification she never thought it a million years would she see.

@lukehemmings started following @gabriellaaacampbell

"Ash! Ashlyn! Oh my god you have to see this." Gabriella turned to the girl laying across the couch watching The First 48.

"What?" She said with a mouth full of hot cheeto’s.

She flipped the phone to as her eyes widened in shock. "No way!! He followed you? How'd he get your instagram??"

"Im pretty sure it's on the bio of the podcast instagram." She quickly replied. "Do I follow him back??"

"What kind of question is that! Yes of course!”Ashlyn said while lightly smacking her arm.

"Okay you really need to not do that." Bianca said rubbing her arm slightly.

@gabriellaaacampbell followed @lukehemmings

She put her phone face down on the kitchen counter and stirred her noodles and added pepper until 10 minutes later her phone buzzed twice. Gabriella’s eyes widened in suprise and shock.

@lukehemmings sent you a DM.

" Did you just get a message from THE Luke Hemmings?" Ashlyn said looking over her shoulder.

"I guess so yeah." She said unsurely.

Gabriella’s hand shook in excitement and nerves as she opened the message.

'I know your probably wondering how I got your instagram aren't you😂' The message read

'Well I mean I'm not not wondering. I'm yet flattered and scared at the same time' She replied back.

'Well I got it from the podcast account. I didn't expect you to follow back so fast.'

'How could I not?! A really famous guy from my favorite band followed me, the 12 year old in me is screaming'

They stayed texting back and forth for another 4 hours until she stopped responding at close to midnight because she passed out from exhaustion from editing.

——————

Gabriella was currently at their upstairs neighbor's apartment babysitting their 7 year old, Ethan. She was on her 3rd energy drink of the day, babysitting a 7 year old can be a lot of work especially when she was up late editing their interview and doing some lab report essay for her Physics class that was due two days ago but her teacher is still accepting it.

She kept checking her phone to see if Luke responded to her messages but nothing. She assumed he was busy, I mean he was a rockstar.

Until then she got a DM while Ethan was napping.

'I know this is gonna sound so crazy but I'm in Southern California for another week, wanna possibly get a coffee together?' The message read. She had to read it five times until she came up with a response.

'Yeah that sounds awesome! I know this place about 10 minutes from me.'

'Pick you up around 3 tomorrow?'

'Absolutely!'

'Sounds like a plan then:)'

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings fanfic #5sos #micheal clifford #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings imagine

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nobodysdaydreams · 5 months

Note

Doug Eiffel and/or Milligan for the Headcanon Ask game <3

Thanks Sophie! To thank you for all your wonderful comments on my fics, I will do both:

First: Doug Eiffel

Headcanon A: realistic

Doing headcanons for Doug is tricky because I haven’t finished the podcast so what’s realistic or not remains to be seen. But I do think it’s realistic to say that if Doug made it back to Ann, and she was open to having a relationship with him as an adult and giving him a second chance, he’d be an amazing dad. He’s be so grateful to be back on earth, wouldn’t relapse, and would be the best dad/grandpa ever.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

I don’t know how Wolf359 ends. Is it too much to hope for Doug getting to yell some catchy pop culture reference catch phrase at Cutter as he’s dragged into the back of a cop car? Like “my how the tables have turned” or something like that, you know since Cutter got him out of prison and now Doug is testifying to put him in prison.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Despite being the one character in Wolf359 who seems to consistently be able, even under pressure, to stick to his morals and try his best to avoid killing, Doug is never able to view himself as a good person or a person whose life is worth saving. The whole “no one who matters ends up here” is something Doug would never apply to Minkowski or Hera, but he still applies it to himself because of what he did to Ann.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

When Doug makes it back to earth, Hera gets to live with him and be part of his family. I don’t care if you ship them or not, or if it’s a ship or not. I don’t care if you want Hera to be the house, still part of the ship, put in a human-like body, I don’t care. She is family, and she lives with Doug and Ann now.

Second: Milligan

This vary depending on book or show version of the character so I’ll keep it vague.

Headcanon A: realistic

Milligan would do his best to help the helpers and everyone else who had their memories erased find their long lost loved ones. After being separated from Kate, he wouldn’t want anyone to live with that level of pain. In the show, he’s also do it out of some degree of guilt, since he vaguely remembers working for Curtain and is unsure if he was involved in the brain sweeping or not. Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

I have a REALLY good one for this. But I don’t want to spoil my own stuff. So I won’t. In my defense, Milligan would 100% do this and the only reason it wouldn’t be in the show is because they just don’t have enough run time for the plot line. Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Milligan having to grieve his wife again. He lost her three years before he lost Kate to some sort of illness (we can only speculate). He loses her, loses the memory of her, and then he has to find all her old stuff, see traces of her in Kate, and lose her all over again. Whether you head canon that he was able to move on and have a new relationship or not, either way, he’d have to go through this pain and it would be absolutely awful.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Show Milligan being friends with Curtain. I might add in my SOS authors note more detail about how realistic I think SOS actually is based on the show, and I do believe based on what they gave us that a storyline involving a backstory Garrison, Curtain, Milligan, and SQ’s birth parents working together was something that they might have planned for future seasons. But I think it’s slightly more likely they were just coworkers and that Milligan got used and stabbed in the back by Garrison and Curtain (who later stabbed each other in the back) rather than the (in my opinion) much better angst parade where they all actually cared about each other once. But a show’s run time can only take us to flashback land so many times, especially when you can’t get actors back and your show is on the verge of cancellation. So I get it.

#I hope you like these Sophie!#milligan wetherall #doug eiffel #bods wolf359 reactions #wolf 359 #Bods answers #tmbs #the mysterious benedict society #mysterious benedict society

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egoistars · 1 year

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FIRST KISS pjsk

what ur first kiss was like with the future world star

writing + hc ：crack, mentions of blood, tsukasa tenma is a DUMBASS (affectionate)

TSUKASA TENMA

you hid your mouth with your palm as you let out a long yawn after walking through phoenix wonderland to go home with your bff forever tsukasa. the sun was beginning to set, red and orange hues washing through the stray clouds like strokes of vibrant watercolor as they bled into the purple of night.

it seemed that the blond had just finished a musical solo on stage as his fellow crew members were clapping for him, sitting in the front row of the wonder stage. tsukasa heavily panted, a proud smile on his face while his hand was placed on his chest.

"[name]! you just missed the best part!"

"best part as in you running off tempo like four times?" nene muttered, getting a laugh from you and an faux offended face from tsukasa.

"whoops. i guess i'll have to visit another time and see for myself."

"OH! RIGHT! i haven't even explained to you the plot to this months show!" tsukasa excitedly dragged took your hand and dragged you with a disgusting amount of force ( how the hell did some lame ass like him have this much strength? you don't know ). "so basically, i, prince pegasus the eighteenth of the rainbow kingdom comes face to face with a rebellion from my people because the fairy dust st industry has been failing and very out of character for me, i've done nothing to help. can you believe that?!"

"that must be so humbling for you," you teased. "about time."

"what the hell?! anyway, turns out the head fairy, played by nene, does not have enough musical power to produce fairy dust from her singing because music has been lacking amongst the fairies! and emu, who's part of the rebellion, demands that my royal orchestra play for the fairies and in the end, the kingdoms fairy dust is restored and BAM! happily ever after!"

"goddamn how many plots does rui pull out of his ass?"

"...is that a compliment?" tsukasa blinked.

"don't worry about it," you quickly divert, causing tsukasa's mouth to momentarily open in protest, but quickly close. "you should sing something from the play for me. i want to hear what you guys wrote."

"HAHA! anything for my loyal fan."

"on second thought, i'm leaving."

"wait! stay! i'll sing!" he yelled after you. clearing his through twice before quickly running through a scale to warm up.

the song was a soft ballad, the lyrics written witj poetic artistry, portraying the feelings of a prince with regret. this song seemed to take place during the emotional climax of the play where tsukasa's character snaps out of his arrogant and selfish state of mind, realizing how much his people are suffering and begins to break. you've always admired how well tsukasa portrayed extreme emotions in his acting and if you were any meaner, you'd say he reminds you of those shitty tiktok povs where you have a limited amount of farts or something but being the best friend you are, you kept your mouth shut.

the song came to an end and this time, it was you who had their mouth dropped open.

"holy shit i could make out with your voice right now."

his brain SHORT CIRCUITED

smth up there fried and died right in the moment

my boys eyes went blank and stared at you for a good minute before he literally FLUNG his tall ass body at you and crashed his head into yours

man was in autopilot

you thought you broke your nose

your lips hurt but hey!!! shut up!!! stop complaining!!! future world star is literally kissing(?) you be grateful

but bro he was passionate

eyes squeezed close, sucking the hell out of your lips

he doesn't know how to kiss

tsukasa is not a star, he is a black hole trying to swallow you whole starting from your lips

you were planning to contact true crime podcasts for a new case

he only pulled back after he felt smth warm dripping into the kiss and turns out his nose was bleeding 🧍‍♀️

you laughed in his face

bro was too embarrassed to care and ran away like the pussy he is to shove a tissue up his nostril

dw u kissed him later but properly

tsukasa now has a note in his phone titled "days since i kissed [name] and how idk where our relationship lies: 1"

"i'm impressed you were able to kiss them but not ask them out. that's kinda funny tbh. loser behavior" - rui in the wxs groupchat later

#tsukasa tenma x reader #tsukasa x reader #pjsk x reader #pjsk hcs #pjsk fluff #pjsk tsukasa #tsukasa tenma #pjsk #tenma tsukasa #tsukasa pjsekai #wxs tsukasa #wxs #wonderlands x showtime #tsukasa project sekai

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moonchild-in-blue · 5 months

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Hello!! 8D I'm new to the Sleep Token fandom; I saw like 2 concert videos on my TikTok feed yesterday morning and proceeded to complete the fastest casual to full blown fan speedrun of my life in a single day XD And I don't really have anyone I can yell about them to, not even the person who originally introduced me to their music, so :P I'm still working my way through listening to their full discography, but I wanted to say a MAJOR part of how fast I got into them I feel is because of the Wembley show from this past weekend?? It says so much about Vessel that he handled the whole thing the way that he did, and the more footage I see from that specific show the more my heart is FULL for this man <3 That on top of the cool and intriguing lore, AMAZING aesthetics, and of course the music (which I was already into before but even moreso now XD), and it was a RECIPE for a hyperfixation :3 I also wanted to say as a newbie that I love the new masks?? Especially Vessel's; the red edgings are SO cool and put even more emphasis on his TEETH :P His whole look is Iconic (though I wonder if that cloak must be heavy to wear??), I love that the other members of the band are developing their own distinctive looks too?? And it's super cool to see how their look evolves as they become more and more successful, just from what I've seen so far <3 I also just REALLY love how more and more music artists are embracing the innately religious experience that comes with a live concert?? As you can probably tell I'm a Swiftie so I had the same thought about the Eras tour XD but also with other punk-rock/metal artists like Ghost :P So calling their shows a "Ritual" or a "Worship" is metal as hell, I think :3 Plus just as a somewhat personal note, lately I've been running out of podcast episodes that I feel comfortable falling asleep to, and I already want Vessel's voice just PUMPED DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS, so the natural progression I think is using ST to fall asleep to as well?? Which I mean, given their lore and everything, worshipping the eldritch god of sleep, feels appropriate XD Last thing -- so far my fave song of theirs is The Love You Want, I can't stop listening to it :3 I originally got into them through The Summoning, of course, and now I also love Alkaline cause it was in one of the videos I mentioned XD I started downloading more and more individual songs that I saw mentioned by name on here until I just caved and basically downloaded their entire discography, it was gonna happen anyway at this rate XD But I'd love to know what your faves are, too!! <3 (and bless you for reading this long-ass message from a total stranger lol XD)

Hello there! Wow, that's quite the achievement!! I totally understand though, once you get sucked into their tar trap (hehe) it's pretty much impossible to leave (not that I have ever wanted to).

Welcome to the family!! I hope you enjoy your stay here - there are warm beverages and snacks on the table, take as much as you want and get cosy. 💙🍵🍪 You are more than welcome to scream about our beloved cryptics - we shall all join you, like a pack of feral wolves howling at the moon Sleep 🐺🌕

I have recently gotten an ask from another lovely new member of this weird little community, and did an introductory post of sorts. I will link it here - it's a nice read, and there is a very good post linked there with some more background on the band - how did they start, album evolution, some important lore info, etc etc, by our lovely local archivist and knowledge keeper hehe. It's an incredibly thorough and comprehensive read - 100% reccomend!

So, about Wembley. Yeah, I think we're all still collectively recovering from it. There was A LOT of expection for it, being their last Ritual of the year, and the biggest headline to date, and even more things happening (New masks, iii's return, and of course Vessel's unfortunate situation). Vessel, the band and choir, and every single crew member involved did a fantastic, admirable job under the circumstances.

I won't dwell too much on it, as I've already shared my thoughts on another post, as so did many others, but yes - the fact that Vessel chose to perform at all given his condition, and somewhat stil managed to blow everyone away, is nothing short of an indicative of how sweet and beautiful, and loving that man is. I have nothing but respect for him and the guys - it must've been pretty hard on them as well to perform in such sad circumstances. The show was incredible, and my heart is still so so full with it 💙

The masks are pretty amazing!! I'm personally still attached to the old black ones, and in mourning of iii's victorian child look, but I do loooove the new costumes (they got me feeling some type of way, but I won't be weird here. Just Thinking Things)! Very yummy 😚 The new Choir outfits are INCREDIBLE aaaaaa (you will see me fangirl about them a lot).

Vessel's mask in not new per-se - he's had this one since May or June I believe (around the time TMBTE came out). His mask (and shoulder piece) is AMAZING, I am so in love with it still. It was done by Hysteria Machine - the same artists who did the new Espera (my lovely choir ladies) masks (debuted in the first German Ritual of December). His cloak is actually super lightweight, and the shirtless look helps to keep him cool during his adorable zoomies hehe (not sure about the fur on the back - but he seems to be okay with it, for the ~aesthetic~. My love is a nerd lol)

Yeah, the religious vibes are definitely there, even if just for the lore. I'm not a fan of neither Taylor Swift nor Ghost, so I can't really comment on that, but concerts to have a very transcedent feel to it. "Worship" is kind of a tagline for the band and fans, while Rituals are the actual shows!

I have lost count to how many night's I've fallen asleep to Vessel's voice lmao. As someone with severe insomnia issues, their music is nothing short of divine. 💙

I too was a victim of The Summoning - I suppose it really worked! TLYW funnily enough was my least favourite from that album during the first 2 or 3 listens. Then I watched the live performance for it and OMG. Now it occupies a very special place in my heart - even more after iii's brief absence!

My favourite song is Atlantic - it will forever and always have my heart. Very closely followed by Chokehold / The Apparition / Drag Me Under. Special kiss with tongue to Fields of Elation and Jaws (among others)! Do not sleep (hehe) on their eps/singles!!!! They are fenomenal!!! I always reccomend you listen to the albums in full, at least at first, to really get the full experience. But of course, you do you hun!

If you like the lore aspect of the band, I'd definitely recommend you scroll through the ST lore tag. There are so many amazing posts with lyric analysis, lore headcanons, among others. Also thought the fanart tag!!! The amount of talent and care in this fandom is insane. Everyone is so kind and loving and sweet here - I'm sure you'll have a good time! Don't be shy, go full unhinged if you so wish, and feel free to drop by anytime with any thoughts, questions, or anything else 💙

#fellas we got one more!! the cult is growing hehehe #(it feels so weird to be on this side of the fandom now. 6 months ago I was the one making questions and discovering st)#(and now I get to help?? Wack. Spreading Sleep's message as intended - Vessel where's my kiss)#darya answers #sleep token

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

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The latest episode Honestly features something a little different. It’s a replay of an episode of my friend Sam Harris’s podcast, Making Sense. I wanted to put this episode down the Honestly feed—despite the amount of Israel-related content we have already published—because of the moral confusion plaguing this moment. It’s everywhere: from college campuses to Congress.

Sam, better than almost anyone I know, is able to speak to that confusion, with facts, nuance, and clarity. Read an edited excerpt below, or click to listen to the episode in full. Sam’s words are illuminating and well worth your time. —BW

Link: Podcast audio (1 hour)

By: Sam Harris

Published: Nov 13, 2023

In the wake of Hamas’s October 7 attack, it’s important to keep in view the bright line that exists between good and a very specific form of evil. It is the evil of bad ideas—ideas so bad that they can make even ordinary human beings impossible to live with.

There’s a piece of audio from October 7 that many people have commented on. It’s a recording of a cell phone call that a member of Hamas made to his family, while he was in the process of massacring innocent men, women, and children. The man is ecstatic, telling his father and mother, and I think brother, that he has just killed ten Jews with his own hands. He had just murdered a husband and wife and was now calling his family from the dead woman’s phone.

Here’s a partial transcript of what he said:

“Hi, Dad—open my ‎WhatsApp now, and you’ll see all those killed. Look how many I killed with my own hands! Your son killed Jews!”

And his dad says, “May God protect you.”

“Dad, I’m talking to you from a Jewish woman’s phone. I killed her, and I killed her husband. I killed ten with my own hands! Dad, ten with my own hands! Dad, open WhatsApp and see how many I killed, Dad. Open the phone, Dad. I’m calling you on WhatsApp. Open the phone, go. Dad, I killed ten. Ten with my own hands. Their blood is on their hands. [I believe that is a reference to the Quran.] Put Mom on.”

And the father says, “Oh, my son. God bless you!”

“I swear, ten with my own hands. Mother, I killed ten with my own hands!”

And his father says, “May God bring you home safely.”

“Dad, go back to WhatsApp now. Dad, I want to do a live broadcast.”

And the mother now says, “I wish I was with you.”

“Mom, your son is a hero!”

And then, apparently talking to his comrades, he yells, “Kill, kill, kill, kill them.”

And then his brother gets on the line, asking where he is. And he tells his brother the name of the town, and then he says “I killed ten! Ten with my own hands! I’m talking to you from a Jew’s phone!”

And the brother says, “You killed ten?”

“Yes, I killed ten. I swear!”

Then he says, “I am the first to enter on the protection and help of Allah! [Surely that’s another scriptural reference.] Hold your head up, father. Hold your head up! See on WhatsApp those that I killed. Open my WhatsApp.”

And his brother says, “Come back. Come back.”

And he says, “What do you mean, come back? There’s no going back. It is either death or victory! My mother gave birth to me for the religion. What’s with you? How would I return? Open WhatsApp. See the dead. Open it.”

And the mother sounds like she is trying to figure out how to open WhatsApp. . .

“Open WhatsApp on your phone and see the dead, how I killed them with my own hands.”

And she says, “Well, promise to come back.”

I don’t speak any Arabic, and it seems to me that not every word in the audio that’s being circulated was translated, but I think we get the gist. When I spoke to Graeme Wood about this, he said that to him, the mother and father sounded more shocked and worried than anything else, which would be understandable. But I would submit to you that this piece of audio is more than just the worst WhatsApp commercial ever conceived. It is a window onto a culture. As I told Graeme, this is not the type of call that would have been placed from Vietnam, by an American who just participated in the My Lai massacre. Nor is it the parental reaction one would expect from an American family, had their beloved son just called them from a killing field. I mean, as terrible as Vietnam was, can you imagine a call back to Nebraska, “Mom, I killed ten with my own hands! I killed a woman and her husband, and I’m calling from the dead woman’s phone. Mom, your son is a hero!” Do you see what a total aberration that would have been, even in extremis?

This call wasn’t a total aberration. This wasn’t Ted Bundy calling his mom. This was an ordinary member of Hamas, a group that might still win an election today, especially in the West Bank, calling an ordinary Palestinian family, and the mere existence of that call, to say nothing of its contents, reveals something about the wider culture among the Palestinians.

It’s important to point out that not only members of Hamas but ordinary Gazans appear to have taken part in the torture and murder of innocent Israelis and the taking of hostages. How many did this? And how many ordinary Gazans were dancing in the streets and spitting on the captured women and girls who were paraded before them after having been raped and tortured? What percentage of Palestinians in Gaza, or the West Bank, many of whom are said to hate Hamas for their corruption and incompetence and brutality, nevertheless support what they did on October 7 with a clear conscience, based on what they believe about Jews and the ethics of jihad? I don’t know, but I’m sure that the answers to these questions would be quite alarming. We’re talking about a culture that teaches Jew hatred and the love of martyrdom in its elementary schools, many of which are funded by the UN.

Of course, all of this horror is compounded by the irony that the Jews who were killed on October 7 were, for the most part, committed liberals and peace activists. Hamas killed the sorts of people who volunteer to drive sick Palestinians into Israel for medical treatments. They murdered the most idealistic people in Israel. They raped, tortured, and killed young people at a trance dance music festival devoted to peace, half of whom were probably on MDMA feeling nothing but love for all humanity when the jihadists arrived. In terms of a cultural and moral distance, it’s like the fucking Vikings showed up at Burning Man and butchered everyone in sight.

Just think about what happened at the Supernova music festival: at least 260 people were murdered in the most sadistically gruesome ways possible. Decapitated, burned alive, blown up with grenades. . . and from the jihadist side, this wasn’t an error. It’s not that if they could have known what was in the hearts of those beautiful young people, they would have thought, “Oh my God, we’re killing the wrong people. These people aren’t our enemies. These people are filled with love and compassion and want nothing more than to live in peace with us.” No, the true horror is that, given what jihadists believe, those were precisely the sorts of people any good Muslim should kill and send to hell where they can be tortured in fire for eternity. From the jihadist point of view, there is no mistake here. And there is no basis for remorse. Please absorb this fact: for the jihadist, all of this sadism—the torture and murder of helpless, terrified people—is an act of worship. This is the sacrament. This isn’t some nauseating departure from the path to God. This isn’t stalled spiritual progress, much less sin. This is what you do for the glory of God. This is what Muhammed himself did.

There is no substitute for understanding what our enemies actually want and believe. I’m pretty sure that many of you reading this aren’t even comfortable with my use of the term enemy, because you don’t want to believe that you have any. I understand that. But you have to understand that the people who butchered over 1,400 innocent men, women, and children in Israel on October 7 were practicing their religion, sincerely. They were being every bit as spiritual, from their point of view, as the trance dancers at the Supernova festival were being from theirs. They were equally devoted to their highest values. Equally uplifted. Ecstatic. Amazed at their good fortune. They wouldn’t want to trade places with anyone. Let this image land in your brain: they were shouting “Allahu Akbar” (God is great) all day long, as they murdered women and children. And these people are now being celebrated the world over by those who understand exactly what they did. Yes, many of those college kids at Harvard and Stanford and Cornell are just idiots who have a lot to learn about the world. But in the Muslim community, and that includes the crowds in London and Sydney and Brooklyn, Hamas is being celebrated by people who understand exactly what motivates them.

Again, watch Hotel Mumbai or read a book about the Islamic State so that you can see jihadism in another context—where literally not one of the variables that people imagine to be important here is present. There are no settlers or blockades or daily humiliations at checkpoints or differing interpretations of history—and yet we have same grotesque distortion of the spiritual impulse, the same otherworldliness framed by murder, the same absolute evil that doesn’t require the presence of evil people, just confused ones—just true believers.

Of course, we can do our best to turn the temperature down now. And we can trust that the news cycle will get captured by another story. We can direct our attention again to Russia, or China, or climate change, or AI alignment, and I will do that on this podcast, but the problem of jihadism and the much wider problem of sympathy for it isn’t going away. And civilized people—non-Muslim and Muslim alike—have to deal with it. As I said in a previous podcast on this topic: we all live in Israel now. It’s just that most of us haven’t realized it yet.

many of those college kids at Harvard and Stanford and Cornell are just idiots who have a lot to learn about the world. But in the Muslim community, and that includes the crowds in London and Sydney and Brooklyn, Hamas is being celebrated by people who understand exactly what motivates them.

This is the nub of the current insanity. This is an extreme Islamification, supremacist movement, and you have stupid idiot kids who have no idea what's going on - many of whom would be murdered in a heartbeat and their bodies dragged behind a motorcycle to the cheers of the faithful - endorsing and enabling it against their own interests because they've succumbed to shallow "social justice" rhetoric, and you have the true believers who do know, and are more than willing to be supported by the useful idiots who will eventually be thrown on the fire.

"Israel is only the first target. The entire planet will be under our law." -- Mahmoud al-Zahar, Hamas Commander

#Sam Harris #islam #islamic terrorism #moral confusion #jihad #islamic jihad #Hamas #islamic violence #religion #exterminate hamas #islamic fanatics #religious fanatics #useful idiots #religion is a mental illness

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how-to-do-it-better · 2 months

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How to make him scream for you

What every man wishes you knew

By almost. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You don’t see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope ‘em, hog tie ‘em and throw ‘em in the barn…well men ain’t cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there.

Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men aren’t worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you don’t want one like THAT… Well, ladies, I catch them…and if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you aren’t going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me.

Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, it’s not looks or weight, or height or make up, it’s how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, they’re attracted to us. They’ll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? That’s the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. It’s keeping hold of them that’s tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their money’s worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They aren’t about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of “Phew, I”ll never have to do THAT again!” Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times.

Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men aren’t one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, they’re really somewhat simple, they’ll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. That’s really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and they’ll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them.

You’ll hear wives lament and whine that he’s cheating on her, but what you don’t hear is why he is, and it’s not just some younger body, it’s… she’s interesting and the wife isn’t. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and he’s tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, who’d want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant!

Half of that is she berates him, it’s never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, we’d leave, in a second! And do. We’d never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasn’t…You can’t keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you weren’t what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a week? And you didn’t keep your buns firm or your underwear sexy. You bored him into leaving and you berated him for not liking you that way. And you follow it up with insulting him after the fact that he’s shallow, and he has the problems! So were the cupcakes for the bake sale really THAT important? Cause you sure act like they are!

Men want fantasy, they want entertainment, they want the princess we are, they want the fairy sprite, the little girl in us who dreams, they want eternal youth from our INSIDES, but they also want the slut lurking within us all, they want excitement and to fly, and then land safely, they want to be our wings, our angels of destiny and if we deny them that part of us, if we refuse to go with them or let them take us on their flights of fancy, they lose, but so do we, all we are is housekeepers then, neither queen or whore, and not their partner in life either, we become grounded as the world moves on without us. We just exist to make dinner, when we could be going on exotic trips and living a life of dreams. We choose to be dull and boring, and then whine they don’t.

Classic sex symbols, from Mae West to Madonna, from Liz Taylor to Brittney Spears, are women men dream of, women of passion and fire, women who are playful and adventurous and have a natural sexuality. Men, dream of a nymphomaniac in their lives, or at least one who can be one at times? They want to be cherished, and adored and worshipped, and they should be! They want to be teased and pleased and played with. They want a playmate, a friend and a confidant. They want a woman who makes them proud, who their friends go WOW, where’d you find THAT one, you must be a stud huh? To keep HER! It’s a man thing, it’s pride, its competitiveness, it’s what makes them happy…its what makes them manly, ladies, if you want him to be more of a man, be more of a woman!

They want a princess to provide for, they want a woman who sparkles at them when they do things for her, and sighs and coos. They want her to be pleased, and surprised by their efforts to win her and appease her. They want to chase her and feel her give in to them. Ladies the guys want romance, not pink lace, real romance, the kind with feeling, the kind that has candlelight and soft music, and sighs, they want the longing glances and the deep involvement. And we sort of end up handing them Chef Boyardee and saying What’s your problem? Well, gosh, dinner from a can, might be some of it, the Dog eats dinner from a can, and we pet the darned dog at least? Or I pet mine, but maybe my dog lives better than your man does too? Consider that. That’s sort of sad isn’t it, for him.

They want her to be glamorous at times, slinky and sexy. They want her to be natural at times, and able to get ready in less than an hour, they want her in baseball caps and jeans, as they sit and fantasize about how hot she was last night, and watch her looking like a tomboy now. They want her to like their bodies, and revel in them, as males, to act like a greedy sexual creature who can’t get enough, at times, as well as listen to their thoughts, and try to make their dreams come true.

They want her to be all the women in the world at once, pure and innocent, devilish and dangerous, squirmy and high spirited, needy and soft, nurturing and comforting, and sexually awake and aware of sensual pleasures. They want the mother in us, the sister, and the slut, they want us to be as multi-dimensional as they are. They want the lady in the living room, the whore in the bedroom, and always have. Be that, and able to carry on a conversation about something other than yourself and your interests, and they will all eat from your hand, with pleasure.

And if we give them that, they really don’t care if we make dinner, or vacuum, they’ll do it, they’ll hire a maid, or they’ll take us out to dinner! Trust me on this, ladies, I don’t do housework! I do keep my passport handy just in case. It takes so long to go back for it, is why, we may miss the flight! I go places, I do things, I get taken out, and away, and I love that I do, they carry my bags, they open doors, and they buy me things to please me! And they call later! I love men, and it shows, and they love me right back!

They don’t want to hear, oooh, yuck, and no way, and you’re kidding, I’m not doing that! They want her to blush and go really? You want me to do that, for real, and try it…they want us to tell them that things feel good, and why, and how to touch us. They want to please us so we do go out of our minds with pleasure. They want to know what we think, but not about the sale at the grocery store, to them it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t! Who cares if lettuce is twenty cents less, like change matters? Now if you could do something sexual with that lettuce they’d want to know about that. They want to be pleased, surprised, seduced, coveted, treated with awe, and worshipped, that’s all! They want to be on a pedestal, just like they put us on one! And for that, they will give us everything they have, can find, can earn and look for more if it pleases us. We become their goddess, but only if we make them our gods…

I’m sexual, very…I like sex, I like a lot of it’s aspects, I enjoy exploring it, and adventuring in it. And there are men, who don’t like it as much as I do, that prefer quieter realms and softer ones, there are compatitble types, there are. But they still crave the sex, the affection and the bonding, and they have to have it ladies, it isn’t about they physically need, it’s how they express themselves to us, if we would only learn to listen! It’s their language, it’s primal, it’s instinctive and it holds them totally in its’ thrall, when we deny them that, they have to go looking, it’s male. They cannot survive without it, and neither can I.

I like a lot of different flavors in life, from the spicy to the sweet, to the hot and ice cold, salt and vinergar to sublimely mild. I like tastes, I like feelings, I like emotional intercourse, which by definition is communication. When we bond together in physical unity we can’t hide from each other, we allow each other inside us, and to me, life without that is pretty boring.

Changing our approach is so easy, it really is. When we join that exercise class at the gym, instead of whining about the effort and expecting to be praised, all we have to do is strip down and show them our behinds daily and say, “What do you think, is it getting smaller, is it getting tighter?” And they love it, and smile, and go hmmm, some, come over here, let me check closer. Then it becomes, for him, we work out, and then they’re more than happy to share it…they’ll check our progress with glee…and insist we take more classes, if they get to be part of it like THAT?

If we make dinner, add candles, dress for him, cook in just an apron for heavens sake? Want him to take out the trash more? Stand there naked. Wear a thong…and say, Like this? Well, as soon as I take out the trash? If I’m still in this mood…the trash is gone, girls, never to be mentioned again…if he forgets? Wear that same outfit…he will learn fast…see thong, take out garbage, get some, it’s like electricity to men. They’ll move so fast and while they’re out there, they’ll put your car away and close the garage door, they do not want more interruptions! As in phew, got her mind on me finally…I got to keep remembering that trash, or yikes she’s gonna find someone who will! Men learn so much quicker than we do. It is just about motivation, use that, there is no You forgot the trash again, oh no, he won’t forget…every day for six years, he’ll remember the naked woman saying I’m gonna take out the trash now…like his own private pin up girl.

And kids? Oh right those anti-romance creatures, uh, feed them early, put them to bed, they’ve had you all day? Daddy’s turn. Get a sitter, trade with a neighbor down the street, you keep mine tonight, I”ll keep yours tomorrow night…just give that man, some of what he needs, he’ll be happy! He had the kids, he loves them, just once in a while, he wants to play with the grownups too. And it doesn’t hurt the kids to be told, Mommy and Daddy are going to play together tonight, it’s our turn. You guys are going to bed early so we can. Give you Dad kiss now, night night.

And if I hear one more woman tell me she’s tired, in this day of electric appliances and television, here’s my answer…you will be more tired if you work all day and come home and then take care of the kids and have no one to help. Take a nap, plan it, don’t wear your self out dusting once in awhile, schedule your man like he matters! Quit whining, once women made the soap, spun the cloth, plowed fields, baked bread, ground flour, knit the socks, and still had the energy to kiss him hello and wrap her arms around him when he walked in, so what is your excuse? The dishwasher door was so heavy to close you’re tired now? He worked all day, he’s tired too! And all he wants is a cuddle and a squeeze and a big smile to see him and to cop a feel, like that’s hard to give him? Uh, give it to him ladies, or know, someone else will.

Men need several things, acceptance of their masculinity, pride in their existence, self esteem, love, affection, sensual pleasures, credit for their contributions, titillation and warm welcome, and to be important in their own lives and for that, they will give you everything they can gather to honor you and please you, they’ll lay anything at your feet, if you just treat them with respect and admiration.

It’s our call girls, it is…and it’s ok with me, if you don’t want to wake up to it! Cause your husband takes me to Mexico while you’re busy at the PTA meeting, and I like going on trips to exotic destinations…and being treated like I’m important and wined and dined and catered to. You can do the PTA if you want? It’s ok with me!

Doubt me? Ask any man.

By almost for Literotica.

from How-To Sex Podcast https://how-to-sex-podcast.tumblr.com/post/744493229006848000

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