#i cant write this because i like to write healing stuff and i think the tone of this one would be very

[nekioe]

au where c!Dream is a vampire. Because he heals faster none of the torture actually leaves any scares, except for one.

English is not my first languge and I don't write very often. I'm scared, pls be kind

cw/tw: Usual prison stuff, torture, a teeny tiny bit of gore?, mention of vomit but it doesn't actually happen, branding

He keeps no scars from the prison. Except for one. 

One day, Quackity brought one of those irons you use for branding wood. Usually, they're some kind of iron, but not this one. At first, Dream doesn't realize what's happening, Quackity doesn't heat it up in the lava as he’s done before with another iron. Instead he ignores the lava and walks around the chair and stops behind Dream. He tries to keep his breath under control, the anticipation is almost worse then the actual torture, he can’t see what Quackity is doing, he cant prepare himself for whatever pain that’ll come next. 

Then, all of a sudden, the cold metal meets his skin and it burns. Silver. Silver, it’s Silver. He can't stop the scream from escaping his throat as he flinches away, but tight ropes bind him to the chair and Quackity’s hand lashes out and keeps him in place. His skin sizzles as the silver digs into it. It was worse then any torture he’s been through before. the scorching agony as the pure, holy, silver meeting with his twisted flesh, an abomination, a cursed being that should’ve long been dead. He can't think, he burns and he tries to grasp for something, anything to stop it but there's nothing he can do. The ropes bind him too tight. He hears a voice crying, sobbing, begging for the pain to stop. And it sounds a bit like him, but it's hard to concentrate as a thousand knives rip through his back simultaneously as it turns to fire.

Suddenly, Quackity stands right in front of him, silver pole in hand. He didn't notice it get retracted, his back still burns and writhes in pain. Ugly sobs wrack his body as he tries to gasp for air he doesn’t really need, for release that won’t come. He just wants this to be over, he just wants this to stop, please just make it stop. He feels fucking pathetic. 

Before him, Quackity holds up the silver piece and quietly observes it, he flicks away a bit of burned flesh that falls and squishes when it collides with the floor. Dream holds back vomit. Quackity wears no gloves. Why would he? he’s human, the silver doesn’t burn him. It only burns impurities, creatures that shouldn't exist yet still do, creatures like Dream. His expression is indifferent as he handles the material, it feels like mockery. Maybe that's the point. Quackity looks up and smirks when he makes eye contact with Dream. Then, he takes a step closer and disappears behind Dream again, and before Dream can even flinch or open his mouth to beg, his back is on fire again. 

Months after the torture and the prison that burn scar still remains. Everything else healed within a day or two, leaving no trace of what had happened, but the silver mark on his back stayed. It serves as a reminder, a branding.

#c!dream #dreblr #dsmp #cw mention of vomit #cw slight gore #cw torture #cw branding #nekioe writing

[prettyboykatsuki]

getous entire story is such a perfect allegory for addiction and i think about it every day btw.

#aristotle.txt #drugs cw #addiction cw #like. down to the wire #the feeling of helplessness and hopeless #the disgust the remorse being unable to tear yourself away feeling like your falling behind #abandoning greater society the desperation #his entire metaphor about the consumption of curses and the disgust in the ritual..... its so there #i cant write this because i like to write healing stuff and i think the tone of this one would be very #difficult to write unless i wrote it with him in his sobriety which is possible. but its So Personal. like JKFDHJS #it would therapize me in the worst way known to man #the oliver fic is much more attainable so i may write it someday but hes not going to be likeable in it at all KJSDFHKSD

[ashh-tree]

not me thinking about writing a fanfic where i try to revise "rudolph the red-nosed reindeer and the island of misfit toys" because even tho the cgi animation was very unfinished, the ideas and writing of the movie clearly had potential but they just weren't executed too well and explored enough because it was supposed to be a cash grab made by goodtimes

#cant guarantee that i will make it because im bad at getting myself to write lol #but its still fun to think about #i wouldn't change too much obviously #but like. i think about exploring rudolph having a hard time adjusting to being famous #and its like a year after that foggy christmas eve so. the wounds are still taking their time to heal #and also none of that 'i want a normal nose' stuff. he's long since accepted his nose #he just feels hollow when everyone puts him up on a pedestal and treats him like a celebrity #but idk what do u guys think #too much? #rudolph the red nosed reindeer #rudolph and the island of misfit toys #rankin bass

[pearlescentmoon-enjoyers]

nosey neighbors warm up doodles from yesterday (the standing ones) and today (the headshots)!

still trying to figure out my markers nonexistent skin tone scale and I feel like I definitely did better w getting closer to bigb's skintone today, but I like the pearl from yesterday more :)

au stuff under the cut !!

alr. so this is an au i've talked about in one of my previous posts. the ground rules are:

people do not remember the games, unless they're winners. after winning, they both retain their memories from the game they won & future games, and the past games.

winners retain the major injuries from the games they've won (such as pearl's frostbite and scarring in this au), but not any massive injuries from other games

typically, these injuries heal over time (such as grian's bruising after the desert duo fight), but for more extensive and permanent injuries ie frostbite don't tend to heal

the watchers are canon in this au

also disclaimer or whatever this isn't shipping the nosey neighbors!! i think they're a great duo as friends and/or mentor-student duo kind of :)

so, pearl wakes up after double life w bad frostbite damage (she didn't lose her fingers bc of that cause um i said so but the lore explanation is probably that it would make her more boring to the watchers). her frostbite made her legs and arms weaker, making it difficult to walk or take care of herself properly.

bigb helps pearl deal with her frostbite and lends her his sweater, since she didn't want to keep her scarlet pearl clothes. in general, bigb assists pearl in adapting to her new injuries, coming up with ways for her to still fight without needing to strain her hands too much, etc.

also bigb is a cat hybrid in this because um. i drew him as a a cat once, and now i cant undo it sorry guys he's furryfied.

there's more to the au (ie more interesting timeline details, especially for secret life), but i'll probably write it out more once i rewatch pearl's last life & limited life, cause i have very little memory of them lol

#nosey neighbors #raghhh!!! #pearlescentmoon #bigbstatz #pearlescentmoon au #life series #trafficblr #leafpost #warm up doodles

[bibberbang]

i dont reblog those posts about how hard it is to have moralizing ocd in online spaces, even though i deeply resonate with them. ironically, i can only talk to 2 people about my ocd, because one of my obsessions is that other people will assume im using my mental health as a shield against criticism if i talk about it. therefore, if i talk about my ocd in any circumstance, my brain believes that i'm already doing something immoral

basically, most of my obsessions resolve around people assuming bad faith of me or that i'm somehow secretly an irredeemably bad person, no matter how hard i try to be good. i am a bad person if i dont reblog posts about serious topics, spend every waking moment thinking about extremely serious topics, or make any social mistakes whatsoever (which is scary because i'm also autistic). i believe that i am irredeemable if i make a small mistake, and i often think all my friends are waiting for me to make a mistake so that they can attack me, and that my life will be ruined if i fuck up. im constantly scanning all my interests (and people i know) for the tiniest imperfections (far beyond healthy amounts of criticism in your interests) out of fear that liking anything or anyone makes me a horrible person. if you dont take a side on this lgbt label discourse, then youre a bigot! im ALWAYS mentally preparing responses and apologies to totally theoretical situations of people being upset with me. i have intrusive thoughts about doing the immoral things that scare me most.

the problem is, *talking about* any of these thoughts invites people who will actually bad faith me. "if youre so worried about this stuff, then you must have something to hide! you just want to avoid accountability!" they make your obsession a reality by accusing you of the exact thing you fear most. none of these thoughts are reasonable or realistic, and i know that. i know that i'm mentally ill. i know logically that i'm as good a person as anyone else. when i actually do make a mistake, i stay level-headed and apologize, acknowledge what i did wrong, and change my behavior

but there is a large part of me that does not want to heal from my ocd, because i believe constant self-monitoring and self-critique is the only thing preventing me from becoming a horrible person

there is nothing i want more in this world than to be a good altruistic human being who is capable of growth, but spending weeks trapped in thought loops analyzing all my behaviors for the smallest signs of a mistake will not help me be a better person. it makes me a worse friend. it drains my energy so that i dont have the mental capacity to actually spend time being kind to others. i reread this post many times while writing it to make sure i didnt accidentally write 6 different slurs. but i can't figure out how to heal. what the fuck do i do about this

this is incredibly hard for me to write about. i'm fighting the urge to delete this post as you read it. i cant stress how debilitating this is for me, it is the biggest hurdle in my life and it sucks away days worth of my time and energy. i will become trapped in thought-loops THE SECOND im not kept sufficiently busy and stimulated by tv/music/my bf/being out of the house somewhere/etc. so much of my life is wasted wanting to be good, that i dont get a chance to actually live the life of a good person

i really hope this post resonates with someone. ive only met a few other people who have this particular kind of ocd, and its extremely isolating. but i want to try to heal from it, and i know the first step to healing is talking about it

#have you ever noticed how i'll add addendums in the tags of my posts where i'll clarify EXACTLY what the post was about? #i do that bc of my obsession that some1 will screenshot something i say out of context and make me look horrible #this is not just a Go Outside problem btw. i know a lot of the examples i gave were internet related #but ive had ocd since i was a child. the other half of my symptoms are health related #like obsessions about emetophobia. or food being contaminated or making me sick. or other physical illness #ppl assume ocd is just washing your hands and not wanting to be touched. naur. i wash my hands a normal amount and i love being touched #so i didnt believe i could have ocd for a long time cuz i didnt fit the stereotype. even though it was incredibly obvious and debilitating #amygdalae #ocd #actually ocd

[brandycranby]

You have Ari wips? ☺️ if you're up for it, may we have a nibble of something ip?

hi needle ☺️🫶🏻 have a snippet from one of my oldest wips, arranged marriage a/b/o duke!ari x princess!reader AU, (asian/desi coded as always but no description)

His hands guide yours off your clothes but he doesn't try to loosen your skirts. Instead, he slides closer on the bench, pulling you onto his lap and enclosing you in the fold of his arms.

"This is a hug, sweetest. Have you… have you never had one?"

Muted by the cloak of his scent, you shake your head. His heart beats under your ear, a steady even pound that soothes the bristling creature in your head. It's so warm, so dark where you're pressed up against his chest, hidden away in his arms. Safe. You're so safe cradled here. It makes you want to nuzzle his neck and breathe in his thick musk until you’re lightheaded, take liberties with this kind Alpha without his leave.

The wetness of your tears doesn't register immediately, but when it does, it's with a jolt of panic that makes you twist away.

long rambling under the cut :^))

i've wanted to write a palace setting ever since i started writing fic, especially during quarantine when i was consuming stuff like bajirao mastani and a shitload of tvb historical dramas. i think about what it must have been like to grow up in a harem, to fight for dignity and respect that should have been given to you, to have to hide your softness and be strong and sharp and smart unless you wanted to get killed by another concubine.

i also think about how physical touch is something so forbidden in many asian cultures and how much im starved for contact. i think about how emotional i am, how many tears i can cry at a time, and how my mom never ever cries when things get tough because it's natural for her to process rationally and logically. she's not broken or missing anything in the same way that someone with autism isnt broken for experiencing life and emotion differently. im not looking to demonizing one culture or another and i definitely not making this into an east vs west white savior thing.

but growing up, i didnt know what to do. it was a big learning process solved by communicating what i needed. i recommend this comic by ruth chan which is very healing

so, this fic is an illustration of the balancing act i've finally kinda mastered after 20 years. duchess isnt there yet, she's still struggling to accept that she's more emotional than what her culture prescribes as proper and appropriate and that she can't control it. because she was never taught why or how and how to feel safe communicating this with someone she trusts.

i thought it'd be interesting to put all of this in the context of a/b/o which we know deals a lot with physical touch and instinct and emotions. i wanted to see how different origins and traditions create miscommunications. and ari is the perfect vehicle for this. it's going to hurt so much (sorry duchess) and then he's going to be a soothing balm for us all.

it's all so very very complicated and close to my heart. thats why it's taking so long :'))

i also understand that this is reader with a lot of personality, one that you (general you) may not vibe with and i say thats valid. jjst please move on if she bothers you or if you feel like you cant connect with the fic.

that being said, even if she's was not written for you, i hope you can still try to understand her and feel affection for her and the story

@punemy-spotted duchess mention <3

#debating whether to tag with a tw #lemme know ig #brandy answers #needle <3 #needlereads <3 #needleandhammer <3 #my asks #my writing #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x you #asian self insert #desi self insert

[earlgreytea68]

Pete saying the 8balls not from under the cork tree we are watching this basketballs game to the people in the suites made me feel a little sad. After all the talk of healing tour and mixing things up he still feels the pressure to play the old stuff? Limited to no Mania in the setlist and the somewhat poor reception for some of the post hiatus 8 balls. This is why we cant have nice things!

Awwwww! I wonder if that's why he was paying attention so keenly, because he's watching for the reception??? This makes me sad, though, because I'm still hoping for an AB/AP song for my 8 ball later on the tour hahaha.

I was wondering if really the issue is that it was distracting to him. I mean, if it was clear enough that he could literally see that they were watching basketball, it was probably distracting to him. It reminded me of how, when I lecture, I can tell when the students are doing online shopping in front of me or whatever. Like, you think it's not distracting to the person in the front of the room but it's super-distracting to feel you're being ignored. I don't call my students out for it, but I'd love to do what Pete did sometimes.

But you're right that he jumped immediately to "they didn't like the 8 ball song" in his monologue about it. Ugh. Hopefully Patrick, who still can't actually see on stage lol, reminded him of the kids all singing along in the crowd who adored it. It's hopefully Patrick's turn to nudge Pete about being confident about taking risks and trusting the audience.

There's this line Pete had when they played the Whiskey a Go Go at the HMT announcement, when he was looking out over the crowd and said that this was how it was in the old days, only with "fewer fucking suits getting drinks at the bar," or something like that. I wonder if it feels that way to him sometimes. They've got bigger and bigger crowds but there's always going to be someone there just to hear "Sugar." In the earliest days, the crowds were tiny, but if they made the effort to see them, it probably felt more genuine. This is all if Pete's head is deciding to focus on bad things instead of good, I think. Like all the fics we write for him, I'm sure he still struggles with that. And hopefully he had a bus ride with Patrick to help him focus back on exactly how many people were there with signs about how the band saved their life.

#fall out boy #fob

[tinytinybumblebee]

I’ve been working on some silly postgame fic stuff—I really wanted to write something with baby Astarion being a vampire with all the drawbacks now that the parasite is gone, so one morning while Tav is asleep and unaware Astarion is feeling tiny, he pulls back the curtains to look outside because he misses the pretty sunshine…

Cue Tav waking up to a loud thud and open sobbing that does not sound like any sound Astarion would ever make unless he was tiny, and Astarion hiding away from the beam of light with his face burnt and refusing to show Tav because he thinks he’s going to get in trouble for breaking a rule like he would with Cazador (and he also got used to being tadpoled and baby brain him forgot the sun burns again now) but ofc Tav is having absolutely none of that and just wants to patch up and comfort the little elfling with lots of love, cuddles and healing magic… I’ve only just started it but I imagine Tav working on healing his wounds and having him on top of them for some tummy time so they can get at his face, not to mention he definitely gets to feed, not from a bottle but directly because it’s more personal that way. He’s definitely ok but it was a bit of a scare!

I’m working on the idea more hehe sorry to dump it here I just get so excited about my agere concepts—

WaaaaAAAAAAA absolutely adore that idea oh my goodness 🥺💖💖💖💖 please definitely continue that into a fic because pooooor Astarion, lil guy forgot, he needs help remembering that baby bats cant always do the same as other tiny ones aaaa

#agere #age regression #sfw #fandom agere #mailbox #bg3 #astarion

[thehadesincident]

hades fun ramble abt how the yttd fandom treats shin tsukimi :)

haiiii so if you know me you know that i have one billion illness about some guy named shin tsukimi from yttd! and i have some issues on how the fandom writes him, this is coming from someone who has health issues so im going to be somewhat projecting but! hopefully not that much. all of it is going to be under cut!

this is going to cover a lot of spoilers.. so i wouldnt click it unless you finished the game. its also going to cover topics like ableism and a mention of toxic relationships but thats expected when you want to talk about shin and the fandom

so in game (epsically in your turn to shine) its heavily hinted that shin is someone who has health issues (chronic illness and the works), even in the base game it is shown that shin is physically weak (chapt one in the bar where he tries to open the drawer for example.).

and how the fandom made that into shin being a weak person, but not in a strength sense, in the sense that he cant protect/cant hold his own (looking at you shin ship writers.). but! thats just the only issue right? (this is also ableism to me in a way.. but i cant put my words right at the moment.)

nope!! theres more. the fandom at times made shin out to be a 'dirty' person, someone who is gross and unclean. even if that's far from canon (there being a line that shins hands are clean in game.) and to me, thats just stereotypes of people who are mentally ill coming into play. saying that people who suffer from mental illness cant treat themselves on their own. which in some cases may be true, but not in all of them.

i also think this ties into shin being a person who was in game he is saving money, he is a job hopper which some fans took as he is poor which mean hes dirty.. which is just gross that people think just because a person may be poor, automatically means they're dirty.

theres also the issue with shadow sou (also know as shadsou in the fandom) where (some) people treat it as not a part of shin, it just being a part of midori. shin didnt bring out the hiyori persona out of nowhere, it wouldnt make sense that shin is some 'soft boy'.

fans tend to forget that shin isnt the best person, even in a few pregame thoughts. he can still be an asshole without being told about the 0.0% thing. you can let him be petty, you can let him be sly, you can let him be mean. he doesnt need to be doomed to do any of that.

its the same with the shinai, we only really saw small bits of the shinai.. and guessing from his dialog, he is still close to hiyori and that can affect how he acts, but that doesnt mean a pre game shin acts just like shinai, his an ai for a reason, he learns over time and picks up his own traits. its similar to how the fandom treats highschool shin and his friendship with hiyori and thats a whole another can of worms.

people who say they dont ship hiyori and shin.. and then say they dated in the past are an issue to me. not every toxic friendship has to be romantic, yes hiyori wanted to study shin, but thats because he wanted to see how much he can push a person. even the shinai says he likes to experiment on people, and hiyori most likely did the same with shin but more in a mental sense.

theres a reason why i dont interact with people who tag stuff with their ship tag, i dont trust them to take them in a way thats just them being 'friends'. and if you see it like that or make it out so hiyori isnt that bad of a person... block me i dont want you guys near me. (this goes with those 'midori isnt a bad person!!' au writers to. get out.)

on the topic of shipping, a handful of people who ship shin with people srsly make him out to be someone whos weak and needs to be protected by whoever the pairing is with. you guys just want your yaoi. i see this the most in keishin / alishin circles. shin doesnt need to be 'saved' or whatever, he just needs to heal on his own time, he doesnt need a romantic partner in his life for that.

thats a good part of my thoughts! if you have any questions on my thoughts on shin you can send me an ask here or shoot me a dm on discord :3 (samuraiyaiba)

#letters from the underworld #shin tsukimi #yttd #your turn to die #cw ableism #ableism mention #ask to tag #long posts #ranting it up

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

[mejomonster]

Genuinely. Red white and royal blue was gorgeous.

It's healing.

Fucking phenomenal.

It's hope. It's a future worth having and wanting, even when you feel trapped in the past (like prince henry), when you feel like you might fall off a cliff if you take the leap (Alex saying he loves him, trying to win an election that changes the whole direction a country goes and if people like Alex can even fucking exist safely, Henry's life being determined by if the populace can accept or discard him when the existing historical powers only seek to repress, the fucking WAY this movie goes opposite to so many romcoms and so much "soft bl" type stories by being so overtly fucking political is good actually. It's fucking great. It's like this, Florida is telling kids they can't know gay people exist and this movie is saying we can fucking be politicians, we can be in love, we can change the world, we can be what children aspire to in making their world better and kinder to all. It's like. The message. The message to make a son of a president bisexual and in a spotlight in a current world where they're making laws we can't even be out. Cause that's rhe world we want. And we know it's not the world we may have and we may lose that right at any time but we're fucking brave and we are going to fucking exist and we DO want a world where we fucking get to be us as loudly and happily and joyfully and hopefully as everyone, and where we Matter and can do so much fucking good by existing and trying our best.

And then like. They cast Uma Thurman as the president! God!

And like. they PLAYED CANT HELP FALLING IN LOVE. THE SONG. THE SONG!!!!!! listen I never read twist and shout that destiel fic, but I know culturally it's SUCH a song, it's a song i remember singing about lovers and so many people think fondly of their loves with THAT song and it was so perfectly and beautifully used in this movie.

The decision to be clear about queer sexuality in this movie. Superb. Fucking phenomenal, like the whole movie. So often queerness is sanitized, downplayed, considered inherently "unsafe" (which leads to the laws attempting to harm us), and so to make the romance as sexual as any straight movie fucking THANK YOU. To make it romantic, to not shy away from that either, to not lessen its impact as inherently so romantic and sweet and intimate, the hands. The hands, a trademark of any good queer romance, such a beautiful use of hands as the reveal of emotion and love. I loved the care and tenderness put into it. And the realism oh my fucking God! The awkward conversation about making love! Sweet! Real! Real love is silly, awkward, imperfect and not smooth and so wonderful BECAUSE of that. Because real life isn't perfect but it is because that's the person that makes your world feel brighter and brings a smile to your face even when they say and do silly things! Queer people deserve it, we deserve that in our stories on our screens I loved it all.

I loved rhe writing and direction. To absolute pieces. I've seen cheesy shallow romcoms and while I admit there's good aspects to them, they're not for me. This was for me. And this had a lot of layers under the romance. Henry had a whole fucking personal arc I think a fuck ton of people cab relate to. The way him leaving is akin to people who've left me because they could NOT leave the closet the way I could. The way Alex having healthy parents changes SO much of this story and how healthily HE communicates and how much easier it is for him to act and solve problems, and how that support helps Henry respond to him and answer. And stand up for Himself once it's time to. And that says so fucking much about what parents can do, siblings (Henry's sister was amazing versus his brother), about how secure attachments can be healing, about how communicating more really can solve a fuck ton. Truly. It's truly the biggest key to getting through stuff. How the political is so inherent in Alex's past, present, future, how the movie doesn't have to address anything But the romance plot while STILL addressing so much. A world where Henry is a symbol "people love for their symbol" who gets loved for who he is and the future clashing with the past, progress and healing and growth versus history and conservatism and regression. There's so much fucking going on if you just watch. It's all worth hearing.

Alex being a great brave bi disaster I wouldn't have it any other fucking way. They say BISEXUAL IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE. If little 12 year old mejo had a movie do that I could've avoided so much trauma and isolatoon growing up! If I could live in a world as a child with people who said the word bi out loud and that it isn't silent? If I could live in a world where a politician was aloud to be bi growing up? God that could have been a kinder hopeful world for little mejo. And that is the world now, at least in one movie, and I want that for the little kids now who are living in a world with lawmakers that hate them but also so many people like us, like the writer of this novel and script, who want those children to feel SAFE and like they matter and they are allowed to take up space and WANT GOOD THINGS.

And of course, on a shallower level, I loved Alex. I loved him as a representation of what America could be. Which in a way I felt like while you can't summarize a nation with a single person, that's in a way what Alex and Henry felt like. Values slammed into real living people, and of course with the excellent writing they become so much MORE than shallow symbols (but in a weaker story they couldve been). But like. Yeah. I see it. Alex is brave, he isn't afraid to change the world for the better and want To. He wants to put in the effort. Be involved. He's not shy, he's not scared to love or hate or embarrass himself and pull himself back up and try again. His ego isn't critical and he will go across an ocean and at LEAST communicate and have a discussion and only take a real answer. His mom is HIS MOM and he's still got the guts to tell her who he is and his ideas (romantic AND political) and he was raised in the kind of loving family id hope many people get, a family that he knew would never imprison him or hurt him or reject him. He and Henry are not alike for their status as political figures. Despite appearances. Henry is of the same generation and I think he wants to help and make meaning of his life by making it useful for others. In that regard they click. But Henry was raised in rules, respects those social norms, is aware of and respectful of history in a way Alex is not (and to generalize I'd say the average non rich American I know is probably closer to Alex than Henry in terms of respect for meaningless rules and following history for the sake of it being how things were always done), Henry may not even be like the average person in his country. He's removed from them, isolated from them, stuck in this system of the past, and so walled up inside this system he doesn't get the privilege to simply Not Care. To simply not notice it. Alex remembers what it's like to be completely removed from it. Henry has been aware of it ever since he was 4 and had memories. There's so much to say about how the structure of the characters themselves represent various structures in the world. Alex and Henry are more than that. As characters they're people Actively Affected by those systems. But this story is so fucking fascinating on so many layers and I'm so GLAD. Thank you

Thank you.

This is the kind of movie I fucking wanted. Like, Love Simon was a great movie for the time It came out. And for the audience it was made for: teenagers, Disney movie target audience, who deserved a nice sweet childhood style romcom for them. Who had a million ones for other teenagers, so here's one with coming out in suburbia and sweet romances without much pain. Here's a High School musical type movie for a new generation. And it was good. And frankly it still is, it broke ground as a movie with overt queerness made for teenagers. And still it's probably one of the only ones, I can't think of many newer queer stories MADE INTO MOVIES specifically FOR kids. There's Heartstopper, but that's a standout, thank God for heartstopper too. And Heartstoppers a show so it has more time to do more for teens, show more characters and complications of teen life. I appreciate it deeply. But back to Love Simon: it's a one off. I think teens need 100 more movies like it. But adults? We also deserve 100 queer romcoms. And more movies like THIS, like Red White and Royal Blue. That are more then a quickly written poorly produced hallmark quality movie. That you sink your teeth into and could write essays about. That a straight person Says Pride and Prejudice is one of the BEST romance movies and we can say cool, here's 10 queer romance movies that are just as phenomenal. Anyway that's what this fucking movie is to me. You can disagree, tastes differ, totally valid babes you do you.

but OH MY GOD THEY PLAYED CANT HELP FALLING IN LOVE AND THE STORY IS TOLD BY A BISEXUAL DISASTER WHO EMBODIES SO MANY WONDERFUL QUALITIES I ASPIRE TO HAVE AND HOPE TO SEE MORE OF IN THE FUCKING WORLD.

And like. Henry. I'm gonna go read the book for him in case it's got more. I really think the movie did so many cool things with his personal character arc. That comments on family dynamics, the closet, the trauma of the past (and in many areas the current political regression and harm), the way historic systems control and damage people (both people inside and the entire wider populace they influence), the way things even in the Best circumstances can be truly Imperfect because that's the real world. In the real world, you can fall in love and there's nothing to do but try your best to keep being with each other as the world puts obstacles you'll never destroy in your way (and some truly awful ones). And like. The fact that Henry gets a happy ending. Talk about queer fucking happiness. Talk about wish fulfillment, but without sparing my feelings first. The movie made me feel the very Real fear and threat first. The reality that people like Henry leave all the time and sometimes nothing can last forever without being a danger to the person involved, the reality that their conversation in Henry's room was so fucking high intensity to My fucking heart. And I've stood there. I've been them. The election too, I figured a movie would fear being political (you know lol despite being queer). But movies nowadays, they do fear. They fear saying they care about it, when for fucks sake there's places we can visit and not have the right to exist so fuck That. And it's a fictional election. But my hearts in my throat and I bet Alex's is too. Alex is safe if his mom loses, he's a rich politicians kid. But I've Sat on election night and lived through trump winning. And knowing that meant women losing their rights and safety, queer people losing their rights and safety, knowing every Single election people sit there and wonder if anything will be okay tomorrow. For ordinary people. For people like Alex if his mom never became a politician. For his mom, his dad, his abuela. And in a way sure the movies heavy handed. Frankly I'm gonna forgive it, I could give a fuck about heavy handed. I liked the Barbie movie, but that movie sure was gentle for being called "very feminist." Women are getting arrested for abortions. It's not very on the nose or heavy handed when that's not even really a major issue (not that it needs to be, a movie about a doll wasn't ever expected to be heavily handed political). But this movie? The presidents a main character. To avoid politics would be Expected of a romcom, but shitty. So yeah why not lean in and be heavy handed. They don't have to say it, because this movie is an optimistic future where people like Alex are fine. But there's a weight to what if his mom loses, what if Alex can't hold hands next time he goes to a certain state. But I hope the people who watch this movie, one day, don't even feel those stakes. Because they don't have to. Because the world's like it was for Henry, kind and accepting. Because more of the world is that way then not.

And I'm glad it ended happy, but real if that makes sense. It's an optimism I can carve out eventually, you can. Eventually. If we keep trying.

If anyone saw Fire Island, another great queer movie, that one also didn't shy away from political. It's a romance too, and it was frank about queer communities and people and us with each other versus how the wider world is in relation to us. I appreciated with Red White and Royal Blue another movie that felt like that. That felt a bit closer to honest, rather than sugar coating both our identities and our experiences in the world to make it easier to palette. There's a time and place for sugar coating it (teen movies that aim for kind to us like Love Simon are a good place) but there's also a time when I don't want anyone straight coddled. I want them to see us make love and KNOW it's love. I want them to see us for who WE are, even the degree that we are different and that the world Does make us endure hoops and pains it never forces on straight people, and make them Care about us and learn to relate to us if they want to enjoy our romance. They wanna care about us falling in love? They can care about what we have to go through and be brave about and empathize with people who don't always flirt like they do or follow the same path. I'm fucking over the Moon that this movie asks its audience to view life and love and the whole world from the perspective of an optimistic political bisexual young man. Even if you're nothing like him, try to connect. And likewise, Alex is being asked to try to understand a man who has his own very Different experiences to Alex. Henry again, asks the audience a second time to relate to a man both they and Alex cannot relate their own life experiences to. Even further, if Alex is assumed straight when you go in and you learn to accept hes bi, then Henry makes the audience also reach to accept Henry is gay. Idk if straight people consider that another hurdle lol as they both seem hurdles to straight people I've seen. But also Henry is old money, royalty even, and fuck I know absolutely no one who can personally connect to that or even knows someone in their social circle who's fucking royalty. But Alex is asked to connect and relate, and so are we, and hopefully we grow and expand a bit as we do. And maybe that's part of what we're supposed to leave this story with. That the world is wide and beautiful and full of so many experiences and there's value in them and in trying to understand their values and pain and hoping for all of us to have a kinder world we're allowed to exist within. I don't know. I'm too tired to know all this movies got to offer.

But as I said. Red White and Royal Blue is fucking phenomenal.

#lb #rant #red white and royal blue

[dilatorywriting]

idk if you plan to do any monster mayhem for the staff where reader is there age too but i am having SUCH a brainrot over monster crowley i have to share it

im just imagining hes similar to howls feathery monstrosity form except more Fae more thats his actual true form not a form of magic and he takes on a human form albiet one obvs non human due to the pointed ears and the feathers people swear up and down are in his hair and pn his shoulders like a feathered ruff bc all the shiny things humans have and interesting devices to make life easier!

the man definetely has like 838384 heated blankets for his bedroom that is more a nest than anything else lol and the one day he gets injured in his natural more beastly form and mc come across him and he thinks that this is it this is where he dies bc humans attack what they cant understand due to fear but instead this little human he could crush under his talons like a bug comes up and fusses over him ordering him to not move (as if crowley even could) and then leaves

but they come back with a bunch of medicinal stuff and patches him up and returns every day chattering away aimlessly at him as they changed the bandages and compliment how beautiful and shiny his feathers are and maybe theyre a healer or smth and mention a familar and the next day they come back they have a crow following them feathers glistening brightly in the sun cawing happily at mc and crowley is faced with the realisation that oh no hes become smitten with them at some point

and then once hes healthy again he starts showing up in his humanoid form at mcs little apothecary with random cuts or bruises from tripping or being attacked by stray cats that he totally couldnt have healed himself oh no! and everytime he slyly conpliments them and leaves something shiny they could keep or give their crow familiar or some bundle of rare herbs they mc was having trouble getting

and he just turns down all his admirers (that hed never paid attention to more then for the praise anyway) to instead lavish mc with attention bc theyd seen his true beastly form crowley had secretly been so sure no one could love which led him to indulging so much in his "human" life and had looked after him like he was something beautiful to be cherished and bow MC is like oh no i think im smitten

anyway i dont like crowley i swear i dont okay hes just hes just i DONT hes just pretty i dont like him i swear <- man helplessly in denial

I do indeed love the absolute horror nightmares that could come from Staff Monster Mayhem, and Crowley as some sort of demonic bird monstrosity is Peak. I do have to get a bit better with his personality I think before I dive into anything actual for him, because mostly I just write him as A Nuisance, when in reality he gives me vibes of being A Bigger Nuisance but also... not quite right? Like he's got pointy ears and glowing eyes. There's got to be some sort of weird, fae, bullshit going on with him. And in the words of Patrick Star, gotta 'firmly grasp it.' Because I'm still a bit lost on him

My thought honestly when I was debating something for the Staff was, like, a Mount Olympus sort of setup? Or maybe more specifically like a Hades (the game) sort of situation? With the MC as a sort of stand-in for Zagreus, receiving the guidance and blessing of all these all-powerful, very temperamental and moody, gods.

#Asks #Monster Mayhem

[moonlightrpg]

magic

i would like to have a bigger theme around it, like Rick Riordan's mist, but i need a auxiliar magic system so players around too tied on plot to have magic, so i am just throwing the idea of nobles do magic with movements and stuff by writing on the air, kinda like Dragon Prince but with material components.

to cast a spell, you need freedom of movement, speak and any materials the spell ask, but instead of needing a specific item like bat shit, you need something like a descriptor, so a cloud of daggers would be a cloud of edges, and anything that is sharp could be used to make the spell work. a item can have multiple descriptors, like a tiger claw would be "sharp", and "bestial", all to the discretion of the table and the master, any item used to cast a spell is consumed, and when you gather or buy an item you roll a rarity die and this becomes the modifier of the item, you roll once for a bunch of the same item, i am not entirely sold on this system, it would be cool, but i can't play test it.

familiars can be used as material components, so if something needs a "flammable" component you could use your familiar that spits fire and cast the spell with no item bonus. it should make sense with your familiar, so not every familiar can be used as every component. familiars should be useful in combat more as pokemons and not as spell bot, so they have this nice benefit for mages without being any less useful for everyone else.

because you need to take a action from your 4 to get an item to your hand or to change items of your hand, you can cast most fast spells with one action instead of two or three. it should also cost a resource but i am not sure what, maybe a resource that gets better as the battle goes on to create tension, leave your ideas.

you can cast spells outside of combat for free if you take a lot more time to do it, like rituals in ded, any material cost would still apply.

if you see another spell cast casting a spell, you can spell duel them, you cast another spell and roll opposing checks and who wins decides the result and if you two roll the same, wild magic happens. this is blatantly stealing from DC20 spell duel, but its a cool mechanic, again, the table and the master decide if it makes sense on the narrative.

i don't have any idea on how to theme this around but i decided on some schools of magic, these could be

soul, life, death and healing

time, gravity and entropy

prophecies and divination

enchantment and illusion

transport, transformation, manipulation and creation

this is all very generic and depending on themeing it could be bundled differently, but i don't know themes for generic arcane magic, i wanted some philosophy to support it like i have for the solarpunk druids, but i cant think of anything.

i think that's all i have around generic arcane magic that i need to make magic accessible to this fantasy setting, maybe i could make it more steam age and in a setting where people are already slaves of capitalism instead of in the process of capitalism world domination. so the magic would be more to be fantastic steam technology, i don't like that.

thank you for reading :3

#ttrpg #brazilian artists #rpg #writing #faterpg #rpg scenario #making rpg #creating rpg #making ttrpg #creating ttrpg #DC20 #magic #magic system #arcane #arcane magic #i dont have any idea on how to use this but i want people to talk to

[judas-redeemed]

you don't know how much i have grown to love your blog. i discovered it yesterday ?? i guess. but it already feels like a thousand years. its funny since according to the common notion, you feel time passing quickly when you are having fun or are happy. "one day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy" but they didn't tell me about how it would feel when someone puts emotions into words. feelings that have not been noticed by others since so much time and and now finally feeling seen... not that those posts are about me or u know me but that is the beauty of poems isn't it ? we are free to feel how we want to when we read them. have u ever felt that the world just doesn't understand you... you have so much beauty and such a beautiful perspective on things but people are just so busy nowadays ? it just breaks my heart to see all that and suddenly i discover your blog... here you are posting things i love and writing things i feel too. i am extra emotional from a few days and i probably wouldn't have written all this. but really i m on the verge of crying. i dont even know u but i sincerely sincerely wish that everything works out for you. i cant help u financially since i m not that old but i really want you to know that you have a well wisher in me. you are blessed with a very beautiful mind and i will never not think about your words.

i mean this so genuinely, i love u dude. i rlly can't begin to express how much stuff like this means to me.

i started seriously writing poetry when i was about 12-13 i think, at one of the lowest points of my life. i wrote because i didn't have any other way of expressing what i felt, and felt so lonely and hopeless and wanted some kind of release. years later, it still brings me so much comfort even tho im in a much better place. but to think that my words, that for so long were my only anchor, can help anyone else in even the smallest of ways, genuinely brings tears to my eyes.

i don't know u, and u don't know me. but because of poetry and ur beautiful heart causing u to say these unbelievably kind words, we carry a piece of each other inside. i hope wherever u are, u find joy and laughter and healing. may ur days be easy and ur nights full of peace.

be warm and well fed, friend :)

#i don't think u guys understand #i am BAWLING rn. like genuinely #thank u so much #asks #judas talks #on humanity #on writing

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey, we're a newly discovered system ("newly" being kinda loose here. its been something ive (🐦) experienced for so long in my(?)* life that i thought it was normal and no one talked about it. and at least a year since properly established contact with another headmate)

we've all been participating in looking up resources and whatnot for this kind of thing bc there's words for this stuff??? and we just never knew???? but im incredibly scared by the sheer size of it all

just earlier today fell into the rabbit-hole of sys-course and it has me doubting everything. again. i frequently worry (and frequently another headmate speaks up and reminds me he can hear my worrying and its lowkey annoying to him LOL) but like. augh.. it tears me apart and makes some of the others nervous too because im so loud about it accidentally

i feel like im faking because i cant remember anything traumatizing (or anything before a specific age range really), we still function as a group fine enough, we're not particularly switchy + are often blurry, and we have really robust communication that almost sounds too good compared to the other experiences we've read.

but on the other hand... i (personally) know roughly when i formed, what of "my" actions were not actually performed by me, tug each other around over control and time management, do understand and feel the change from switching, and just. cant deny this experience. its confusing for me. but just me personally. there are other headmates who don't see any issues and are fully aware and accepting of our multiplicity.

i guess i'd just really like some positivity for alters who are confused and trying to figure things out, even if some of the others seem to have it all down

-🐦

Hi! We’re so sorry that y’all have been dealing with this!

Syscourse is honestly a nightmare. It causes so much stress and anxiety for systems and doesn’t actually help resolve differences or bring the community together. It’s mostly just the same handful of people shouting at each other endlessly, so we’d definitely recommend you and any system avoid it if they can! Involvement in syscourse can absolutely diminish healing and encourage self doubt, and it has the capacity to hurt systems in the long run!

Remember that, while trauma is a requirement for systems with DID and OSDD-1 to form, there’s way more types of plurality than just these! You don’t have to have been traumatized as a child to end up plural. It’s also worth pointing out that these dissociative disorders function by hiding, masking, or disguising trauma. Many people with complex dissociative disorders grow up entirely unaware of their trauma history. We ourselves did not think we were traumatized when we first discovered our system! Since then, however, we’ve learned that we do in fact have tons of trauma to process, along with a CPTSD diagnosis.

If you’d like to learn more about dissociative disorders or plurality in general with hopes of learning more about your system, we definitely recommend checking out our master post of resources! We’re trying to keep it up-to-date with any plural, dissociative disorder, or ptsd recovery content we can find - I’ll link it below!

Finally, we would be more than happy to write a positivity post for confused alters, headmates, and systems. We’ve queued this post for tonight at 8:00PM EST! Please keep your chin up 🐦, we sincerely hope things get better for you soon!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker

#long post #syscourse #syscourse tw

[milanocookiesandivyprofen]

headcanons

amphibia

During the resistance, Anne constantly asked to borrow Sasha's cape because it was cold and it smelled nice

Marcy brought her switch to Amphibia and kept being the clumsiest motherfucking woman alive but stopped using it when she saw Anne because she didn't want to get lectured

Post-Amphibia, Sprig and Ivy travelled all across Amphibia, like they said they would. They even brought Ivy's mom on some trips because she knew some of the people there

Silvia moved out of town but she and Hop Pop constantly write to each other

Polly invented more technology as she grew older, taking advantage of her knowledge of human tech. She even made custom phones (and wifi!) and is one of the most famous frogs in Amphibia

Sprig, after getting Polly's wifi, searched up so much stuff on Anne's phone, found tons of social media websites, and doesn't know it but actually found Anne on one of those sites

Sprig is a master pizza chef

Maddie is now a very well-known sorceress. People pay her to curse or heal others

Mayor Toadstool turned into a decent guy and after passing, Toadie became Wartwood's new mayor

the owl house

Luz and Amity have planned out their entire future

Hunter, Raine and Luz are all harcore Warriors fans. They all have OCs and they even created an RP which they begged their wives to play

Gus became an actual illusion master and does magic shows

Camila has grown to love the Boiling Isles' weirdness and has learned a few glyphs, but mostly stays true to her trusty baseball bat

All of the Hexsquad's parents share a dartboard with a picture of Belos on it

King has cat habits (ex: he never stops sleeping, he gives "gifts" to Luz and Eda)

Eda, Lilith and Raine all live in the Owl House and Lilith is hardcore third wheeling

gravity falls

Dipper and Mabel make each other gifts and appreciate them no matter how bad they are (and trust me, they are bad)

Wendy probably part-times as a security designer

Soos and Melody are the cheesiest couple to ever exist (they go on sweet dates, they tell each other really corny jokes, ect)

Stan and Ford, after their big boat trip, got into tons of trouble together and even got arrested together (dont worry they got out of jail safe and sound)

Pacifica works at a construction site and is constantly getting her hands dirty to spite her parents

wednesday

enid cant sleep without her snood

wednesday kills anyone who said something slightly negative about enid

xavier has given up his weird stalking tendencies but nobody wants to date him anyways

morticia and gomez treat enid as though she were their own daughter and have a burning hatred for enids mother

enid has read twilight and somehow hates it more than wednesday does

wednesday still gets visions but theyre about really dumb things like whatever weird thing enid will do on a date or some plan pugsley has to deal with bullies

wednesday still murders anyone who bullies pugsley but scolds him about it

warriors

ivypool is lesbian (i used to hc her as bi but she is a definite lesbian)

fernsong is transfem

firestar is pan

sandstorm is omni

bluestar is bi

ravenpaw is bi

jake is pan

barley and tallstar are gay

everyone knows firestar is pan except for himself

after having jay holly and lion leafpool was dating mothwing but they broke up after the leafcrow parent reveal. mothwing wasnt mad about it but they both thought their reputations were damaged enough

blossomfall bullied when she was younger and still does it when shes mad for no reason

everyone secretly thinks ivypool is super badass

wings of fire

willowdew is canon and bumblebee is their official daughter

sundew is lesbian

cleril eventually gets married but peril cant get a wedding ring and she is WAY too sad about it but doesnt want anyone to enchant her ring because she has severe anxiety about animus magic after escaping peril

snowfall had a small crush on sky but quickly forgot about it after going back to the ice kingdom

tsunami ended up dating riptide in secret and once she became queen, she announced it officially and literally no one was surprised

shark is surprisingly loyal to anemone but literally hates tsunami and anemone is the only thing stopping him from swearing about her when no one is looking

glory, tsunami, sundew, burn, blister and snowfall have all sworn at some point

keeper of the lost cities

dex becomes the most talented technopath in the lost cities and makes tons of gadgets for everyone to use

sophie is fucking bi

fitz goes to therapy and solves his anger issue problems

keefe and silveny are still BFFs

the adults (including all the councillors) need at least a glass of fizzleberry wine per week to cope with all this shit

harry potter

ron stays an idiot forever and hermione is the only reason he is alive at this point

ginny is bi

#headcanon #amphibia #toh #the owl house #gf #gravity falls #wednesday #warrior cats #warriors #wings of fire #wof #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #harry potter #the wizarding world of harry potter #sashanne #sasha waybright #sasha #sasha elizabeth waybright #anne #anne boonchuy #anne savisa boonchuy #marcy #marcy wu #marcy regina wu #sprivy #sprig plantar #sprig #ivy #ivy sundew