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temmtamm · 1 year

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My godshshshddd I just read the tails fic and 𝘐 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘐𝘛

I don't know if your taking request/ask for sonic but can you another one but with tails realising that sonic and the reader are dating? How would he react seeing the reader liking the fake (or real?) sonic and asking him for help? Pretty much like Amy's situation.

Love that scrunkly pathetic meow meow (𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶) :}

Ofc I am!! I am hyperfixating on sonic and sonic parody media so hard so feel free to bombarde me with all that jazz!! Sorry if it strays a bit from the ask, I got too into the moment with it.

'Imposter'

Secret History Tails x Reader Who Likes Sonic

Tw: violence, needles, Yandere themes, all around horror.

"--It's just--He's so kind, yknow??" (Y/N)'s hands came up, hiding their face as a flustered chuckle left their lips. "And today we were having one of those back and forth moments again and he called me a 'Dummy', but like he said it with such emotion and i--"

Tail's grip tighten on his screwdriver, threatening to stab it right through the Tornado's insides the he was working on. "Yknow, I don't really think a guy who calls you a 'Dummy' is all that into you.. No offense."

"No, no!! It's one of his more playful moments, yknow like how he likes to trash talk with Shadow or Knuckles when the two are rough housing?? It's like that." (Y/N) sighed, letting their arms fall to their side once again as they seem to fall into their many many daydream like states. One of the curses of pining for someone.

If you asked Tails, (Y/N) would be the last person he'd suggest for Sonic to go out eith--Hell, Big the cat and Froggy would be a better couple than the two!!

It's not that he doesn't think (Y/N) is good enough--Hell, it was kind of a miracle someone of (Y/N)'s caliber even really hung around the group.

And it's not that he didn't think Sonic wasn't fit for them either--Hell, his Sonic could charm the pants off of any living creature with enough elbow grease.

It's just....

He didn't think they'd be the best paired together, is all.

Yeah...

...

That's the reason.

"It just kinda...stinks, though. I mean, he has Amy practically glued to his side and everyone knows that she is absolutely smitten with him. Doesn't help she's all he can talk about to me too. It's always, " How should I give Amy this gift??" and "What type of flowers would Amy like??" when I made all the signs SO CLEAR!!" (Y/N)'s love-drunk rants quickly turned to annoyed ramblings, their face scrunching up in disdain as they did so.

"Geez, (Y/N). You really feel strongly about this, huh??" Tails' ears flicked at the sounds of (Y/N)'s complaints, a small smile forming on his lips though he his it by keeping himself nose deep in his work.

"Yea, well. Yknow the whole 'Love' thing isn't a very subtle feeling, Miles." With a tired sigh, (Y/N) leaned back in the designated seat that Tails always kept free for them in his lab. "I wish that just for once, I could know what Amy feels like. Must be nice being pined for--Especially by a hero such as Sonic."

Tails paused, a lightbulb shooting off in his brain. He was quick to seize the moment, putting his brain to work. "Yknow, I think that could be possible..."

(Y/N) paused shooting Tails a inquisitive look. "What do you mean by that, Miles??"

The orange furred fox grinned cheekily, his fingers pausing all movement across the machinery before him. "Well, You already know all the stuff he likes about Amy, right??" He set down his tools and turned to face them, watching as the morbian eyed him down with curiosity.

"Your point??" (Y/N) cocked their head ever so slightly.

"Let's use it!! Use it to your advantage!! Help Sonic see the good in you!!" For someone who was usually so indifferent to (Y/N)'s ramblings of Sonic, Tails actually seemed pretty interested at the moment.

...

"Say, (Y/N). Have you ever heard of little white lies??

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The morbian fidgeted with the hem of their top, swallowing thickly as their footsteps came to an abrupt stop. Just before them, the blue blur himself was there. He was distracted by a conversation with a fairly familiar red echidna, allowing (Y/N) to go unnoticed. (Y/N)'s gaze glanced back at some bushes behind them, rethinking on if they should go through with this plan they and Tails had crafted, but when the orange furred fox popped his head out of said bushes to give the morbian a toothy grin and thumbs up, that managed to strum enough confidence out of (Y/N) to take the necessary steps forward to enter Sonic's line of vision.

"HE--!! Crap-I mean...hey, Sonic.." (Y/N) coughed, the start of their sentence being unnecessarily loud, causing them to quickly backtrack and make their voice as meek as possible, which only gave it the appearance of a voice crack. Sonic raised a brow over at the morning, clearly weirded out by the 'crack' which made (Y/N) feel like just crawling in a hole and dying.

"Hey…?? Weren't expecting to see you here, (Y/N). I thought you were back over in the Green Hills Zone." Sonic spoke up, resting his left hand on his hip while he used the other to wave around as he spoke, talking with his hands.

"Oh, well I was actually in the area!! I was–" (Y/N) paused, a bit of uncertainty about lying to Sonic washing over them, though when a familiar two tailed fox got caught in their peripheral vision, they were reminded of why exactly they were doing this.

"I was just…in the area!! Saving…kittens from..uh...burning buildings…?" Sonic squinted suspiciously at the morning, making them fight back a sweat in an attempt to look as normal as possible.

Just as quickly as he was suspicious though his facial features shifted into a more proud look, and before (Y/N) knew it, he had leaned in and placed a hand on their shoulder, damn near giving them a heart attack.

"Well, well, Looks like we have more than one 'hero', huh?? Gotta keep my game up so you don't take my title." Sonic teased, bringing a flush of heat to the morbians face.

(Y/N) reveled in the moment, more in the fact that Sonic was LEANING into them than the others. Of course though, you can't have shit in Angel Island, and the universe was quick to remind (Y/N) of that.

"Wait…but I just saw you and you were with Tails, not saving any animals." Knuckles spoke up, reminding (Y/N) and Sonic of his existence.

"Oh, well, I uh–" (Y/N)'s face flushed up even more so, but this time it was out of the stinging feeling of embarrassment rather than any warm fuzzy feelings for any certain blue hedgehog.

"I uh…" (Y/N) gulped nervously and forced a smile.

"I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE AN EXCUSE WAITING FOR ME IN MY HOUSE, GOTTA GO!! BYE!!" With that, the morbian took off in speeds that'd even make the blue blues head spin.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"It was a bust, Miles!! All I did was make a fool of myself!!" (Y/N) whined out, face buried in their arms from the sheer embarrassment of the moment that they kept reliving in their head on repeat.

"Now Sonic probably thinks I'm a no good cheap hack just tryna' gain some brownie points!" (Y/N)'s voice was muffled from their arms but still somewhat comprehensible.

"Oh, geez. I should've known better than to suggest that. There's no way Sonic would fall for a lie, no matter how small." Tails placed a hand on (Y/N)'s back, reveling just a tad in how the morbian leaned into his touch, seeking comfort.

"I'll tell you what, I'll come up with another plan for you!! This time, it'll be fool-proof!! I promise!!" Tails spoke up, persuading the morning to lift their head up to look up at their yellow-ish furred friend. "Really??"

Tails nodded, his usual lopsided grin placed tightly on his lips. "Really." With that conformation, (Y/N) practically flung themselves into their small friends arms to give them a death hug that could knock the wind out of even the most strongest and fearless monsters ever.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!" (Y/N) buried their face into the chest fur of Tails, much to the two tailed friends delight.

"Dont mentioned it."He patted his friends back, his gloved touch lingering for just a few minutes longer than socially acceptable.

"After all....

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳??"

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tails...Are you sure this is going to work..?" (Y/N) raised a brow at their compassion, unsure of his plan as he held up a very well burnt piece of toast.

"It works in the shows, doesn't it??" Tails shrugged, limply holding the bread with two fingers as if it were poisoned as he did so. "Just bump into him on my go, and it'll work for sure!!" The morning released a sigh but took the bread nonetheless.

"If you say so.." With that said, (Y/N) placed the bread into their mouth, cringing just slightly at the crunchy texture. With that said and done, they peered over the corner of the building that both them and Tails were hiding behind.

A blue blue, one all to familiar was zipping past, just over the horizon on some far away bumps, but knowing the speeds of the beast it belonged to, it would only be a matter of seconds before it was go time.

With that in mind, the antsiness that came with anticipation filled (Y/N) to the core, making it hard to stay still for long.

"And....Go-!!"

Barely letting the words get out of his mouth, (Y/N) zoomed out from their hiding spot, far too much momentum in their "light jog" to the point where they looked as if they were a morbian on a mission.

And with momentum, came force.

A sharp pain shot through (Y/N)'s head and a yell croaked out of their throat, accompanied by a yell coming from the front of them. With that harsh collide, (Y/N) went tumbling to the ground, along with their victim. They groaned, still recovering from the pain that throbbed in their head but took this chance to reach out to their victim and grab to lift them up, taking the time to seem as gentle and caring as possible. Gotta put your best foot forward, even if it was after accidentally headbutting your crush to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, Soni--" (Y/N) cut themselves off, opening their eyes to see just a normal, everyday morbian instead of the blue hero they had expected. "Wha--" (Y/N) whipped their head around, attempting to catch the blue blue again. Whipping their head behind them, they got the lingering blue of Sonic's speedy form extending out as he zipped up and down hills far, far behind them; having been too fast to bump into.

"Oh, for the love of--"

(Y/N) growled out, dropping the morbian hand in a fit of anger, making the poor civilian fall back down to the harsh ground.

"OW!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't get it, Miles!! I've been doing everything you told me!" (Y/N) whined out, years threatening to spill from just the sheer anger of it all as they sat still, arms extended as the fox worked on the scrapes they gained from the previous stunt the two pulled.

"Maybe I'm just--" (Y/N)'s gaze fell to the steel flooring of the fox's lab, watching the shine that glistened off of the metal. "Maybe I'm just not good enough for Sonic?? I mean, he's saved the world like what, a billion times?? What have I ever done?? Hang around and drag you guys down??" (Y/N) threw their hands up in frustration, though flinched when the bandaging on their arm tightened due to pulling away from Tails' work.

"Maybe he's right to love Amy, at least she actually fights by his side. She actually helps out." Their voice became softer as they trailed off, causing a cold silence to fall upon the room as it hit them that maybe, just maybe, they just had to cope with the fact that them and Sonic is incompatible. They've been doing all this and yet, all it really did for them was either give them some scrapes and bruises or negatively effect their relationship with Sonic.

...

Maybe, they couldn't force someone to love them.

...

"...You're right, (Y/N). There's no way he can notice you in this state. You're weak--Or, at least he thinks it." Tails voice was...different from before. It was cold, it lacked them love it once held almost minutes before. His hands paused, if only for a few seconds before pulling away from his work to instead place themselves on the morbians shoulders.

"It's not all pointless, though. There is a way to show him just how string and capable you can be--And it could get rid of the...competition." (Y/N) froze, the coldness and strangeness of his tone not lost on them, their gut feeling sending alarm bells in their head though they tried to keep it down. Tails is their friend, it'd be so shallow of them to be suspicious of their friend of 3 years over just a strange shift in tone.

"What do you mean by that, Miles...?" They asked, voice now laced with suspicion.

"Well,"

Tails paws dug slightly into the morbians shoulders, almost like how a massage artist would find pressure points. "What good has Any ever done for us, hm?? There's probably a million other Amy's out there. But how many of there are you?? Maybe you just need to...make this one Amy in particular disappear, to help shift Sonic's focus onto the right person."

His paws lowed slightly, down to (Y/N)'s forearms, much to the morbians discomfort. "It's not like you're putting a dent into the the overpoluted ocean of girls her caliber. It's like just picking out a weed where it doesn't belong, yes??"

At first, (Y/N) didn't respond, trying to figure out exactly what Miles was saying. But as the more the fox talked about it, the more (Y/N) started to connect the dots and get passed. Real pissed.

They stood up abruptly, making Tails hands pull back from their form due to the harshness of their action. "Excuse me??" (Y/N) whipped around, turning to face the small friend who kept his calm half-lidded expression as he held a small grin on his lips, as if (Y/N) we're speaking the most mundane of things and not yelling at him.

"Am I jealous?! Sure!! But I'm not gonna kill over it!! You're sick, Miles!! Sick!!" They hissed out, face scrunching up in a expression of disdain at the fact that their friend who usually is so bright and cheery would suggest something so volatile and disturbing. "I don't know if this is some sick joke or what, but you need some help of you thought that was an acceptable thing to say at a time like this."

"Calm down, calm down. It was only a suggestion." Miles raised his hands up in a defensive stance, though his movements were lazed and relaxed. "If you want to live with being the second choice, then be my guest. I just couldn't stand to see my friend suffer."

(Y/N) paused, features softening for just a split second, pain at the feeling of both being rejected as well as being the second choice. The pain was almost enough to consider accepting Tails' offer, though they were quick to snap out of it.

"Miles...Are you.." (Y/N)'s brows furrowed as they took a step closer to the two tailed 'friend' before them. "Are you trying to manipulate me??"

Tails froze, expression faltering into one of surprise. He hadn't really expected (Y/N) to realize his tactics so easily, especially after all that time he spent pushing and toying with his limits to make sure that he could get away with such blatant acts as that. And yet, all it took was a heated moment for (Y/N) to figure it out.

He was impressed.

He knew his (Y/N) was smart, but he hadn't known they were THAT smart.

"Just like that, huh?? I knew you get defensive about your friends, but seriously? Just that? You're a tough cookie to crack, (Y/N)." He dropped the act. He didn't need it anymore, it'd do him no good. With the act came the voice, him letting his real voice break through out of the annoying mold that he got in the habit of using to recreate the other Tails' tone.

"You..." (Y/N) locked up for just a minute, pupils shrinking at the display as their mind seemed to connect dots. Lucky for the two tailed fiend, (Y/N) had verbalized said thoughts, leaving nothing to the imagination. "You're not Miles, are you...?....Who-Who are you??"

"Isn't it obvious?? I'm--" A sick crack escaped him, almost like his bones had snapped, and with the noise came the sickening sight of his body contorting and twisting, as if breaking out of a box it had been contained in.

"Sonic's-"

It was a painful experience, (Y/N) knew it just from the sounds of his flesh and muscles tearing as well as his bones desperately trying to find where they belonged to repair themselves into his new form. His lankier, more unsettling form. (Y/N) took a few steps back, but couldn't stop themselves from looking. It was like watching a train wreck unfold before your very eyes, something about it forced you to stay, to watch the outcome even though you knew it would leave some mental scars on your psyche.

"BEST FRIEND!!" Tails gripped harshly on the lab table behind him, using that to keep himself upright, his gaze flickering over to (Y/N), showing the morbian that they too had changed. The once large dark brown orbs of the fox now were now shrunken into a permanently surprised look, his pupils now in the shapes of stars and having many vibrant colors that were organic looking, despite not belonging on any morbians body.

"Miles...Miles, you're not okay..We-We need to get you to a doctor, or-or a therap--" (Y/N), although frenzied and panicked to the point where having a heart attack was a very real fear that could happen, tried their best to keep their cool, trying to cling onto the idea that this was still their friend of 3 years who was just having psychotic break rather than an imposter who had been masquerading as their friend.

Before their sentence could truly be finished though, 'Miles' had grabbed them by their arms, pulling them closer to him and closing any possible gap they had made when they had time to back up. "DON'T CALL ME THAT!! DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!!" His shrill yell was short lived, though did it's job in throughly scaring the ever loving daylights out of (Y/N) if that's what it set out to do.

A smile placed itself onto his lips, acting as though he hadn't just bursted out in anger moments prior. "Don't...Don't call me that again, okay, Dear??" Despite his cheery tone and smile, his chest heaved up and down from the energy his previous yell had exerted, showing that he had been and probably still is very pissed about it. "I'm Tails, Sonic's best friend. Not that whiney, shit for brains imposter!!" His grip tightened, threatening to place bruises along (Y/N)'s arms.

Ironic choice of words, considering he was the imposter. But, not wanting to anger this clearly deranged and dangerous individual, (Y/N) nodded frantically, agreeing to whatever he'd say as long as it kept them out of harm's way.

"Right, Right. Tails, my apologies." (Y/N)'s tone was shaky and full of fear, not that Tails seemed to notice--Or maybe he didn't even care. Neither of these options seemed that far of a reach.

"Good." Tails' grin widened, if that was even a possibility, and with that came the flash of his gums, drawing (Y/N)'s attention to his mouth, or more specifically his teeth.

They were crooked, misplaced, and appeared to be rotting. It looked as though when he was being made, whoever had made him had used if as a playground to go ham on all the possibilities of where teeth could be, and that's not even getting started on the smell of his breath.

"Yknow, I waited so long for this moment," His grip loosened on (Y/N)'s arms, making relief wash over the morbian, though the feeling was brief as he soon would replace his previous hold with another, now wrapping his arms around the morbian and pulling them into an air-tight embrace where the breakage of their ribs was a very real possibility. "When I could finally show myself to you--My real self. I think you'll find you like me better this way--Much better than that phoney vermin that came before me!!" His grip tightened as he spoke about Miles, making a pained noise involuntarily escape (Y/N)'s throat.

Tails took notice to this, and then loosened his grip as one of his gloved hands came up to stroke (Y/N)'s hair, bringing a sickening feeling to the morbians chest. "Though, I wished that it was on better terms, I guess this will have to do." (Y/N) froze, staying as stiff as a board, they didn't know what to do, no words left their throat, and they didn't even know how they could start to respond to this man's insane ramblings, much less his touches and--Did he just sniff their hair.

After what felt like centuries, (Y/N)'s fight or flight kicked in and they started to fight back. Hard. They kicked and thrashed, attempting to scratch out the imposters eyes and break free from his grip. "Wha--Cut this out!!" Tails, obviously fought back, though he only tried to keep his grip on the morbian tight, making it hard for them to let go--Though, he also did let warnings or threats of sorts slip out. "I don't want to get physical, but if I need to, I will, Darling."

(Y/N) finally managed to break free after biting down on Tails' arm, breaking the fur and skin and even drawing blood. They pushed Tails away, giving them enough space in between the two to break off into a sprint for the lab's doors, making a break for it.

They were so close, their hand right on he handle when suddenly a steel shield of sorts came down, blocking the outside as the lab had went into a lockdown type of state. Whipping their head around, they saw the reason for this.

Tails stood there, a remote in one hand with a thumb pressing down on one of its many many buttons. "Don't tell me you thought it'd be that easy. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Miles, let me go." (Y/N), despite their fear, spoke in a stern and commanding tone, hoping that would be enough to persuade Tails, despite knowing it very well couldn't. "If you kill me, people will notice I'm gone. I won't speak a word of this, I swear. Just let me go."

"Kill you??" A small giggle croaked out the Fox's throat, little at first, but soon escalated into a hysterical laughing fit. "Kill you?! No, I couldn't dare lay a finger on you. You and Sonic are one of the only good hings about these sick dimensions." He chuckled again, breathlessly this time around.

"No, no. I have much bigger plans for you, my sweet." Then he set his remote down, hand reaching behind him to grab for something that his body obscured from (Y/N)'s vision. "Though, I doubt you'd go through it willingly. You're such a fighter!! It's like playing hard to get for you!"

(Y/N) didn't need a rocket scientist to figure out the possibilities this could lead down. All were definitely not in their best interest. They were quick to reach over, to try and grab something, anything they could use to defend themselves. Their fingers brushed against a small screwdriver sitting near the edge of a toolbox, and they quickly snatched it up, gripping onto it tightly in their hand.

(Y/N) attacked first, using the screwdriver as a dagger of sorts to stab at Tails. It made a slice, but not one deep enough to stab, let alone deter the two tailed fiend. Before (Y/N) could even really process all that the lightly furred fox had done, they were sent to the ground with a pounding feeling in the back of their skull and a gloved hand tightly clutching at their throat with their attacker, Tails, mounted on top of them.

"Well done, Darling! I really don't see why Sonic skipped out on you, you certainly are the whole package!" He was grinning from ear to ear, teeth gleaming dangerously as the scarce lighting of the room reflected off of his teeth as well as his eyes. "Beautiful, intelligent, and a fighter!! There really is only one flaw with you!"

(Y/N) gasped for air, coughing and wheezing as they tried desperately to get some form of oxygen to fill their lungs, their hands instinctively went for the one that was wrapped tightly around their throat, trying to pry it off though that only made the fox's fingertips indent themselves deeper into the morbian's neck.

Tails leaned I'm close, half lidded eyes watching them and reveling in the sight of them. "You just don't know when to quit." That's when (Y/N) saw it. The glisten of light hitting the slim blade of a needle that he held tightly in his right hand, preparing to strike (Y/N) with it, inserting the mysterious liquid that the needle was holding into them.

"Tails--Tails, wait!! You don't have to do this, We can--" (Y/N) was cut short, a chaste kiss being planted on their lips with sharp teeth threatening to cut them before the fox made his move, inserting the needle into the little amount of (Y/N)'s neck that wasn't before squeezed by his hand.

Inserting the liquid and pulling back, Tails' grinned and admired his handiwork. His grip loosened, allowing (Y/N) to catch their breath, though that didn't matter much when the liquid had already started to take its effects, draining away at their energy until they were in an almost slumber like state.

"Sleep. Sleep now, and once you're awake, you'll be just like me. We can finally live like we were meant too--Not collecting dust with all these vermin. You'll have no need for this imposter 'Sonic' you busy your thoughts with. You'll be with me, and the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 Sonic."

#secret history #secret history mashed #secret history tails #sh tails #sh tails x reader #fanfic #yandere x reader #sonic fanfiction #tails x reader #headcanons #ask response #yandere #temmer

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brandileigh2003 · 7 months

Text

Ok. But like?

I'm cool with remus not being traditionally beautiful. But Sirius still thinking he's the best thing ever. I think that he has certain attractive features, but he's def not some rockstar and most ppl don't take a second glance. But you need that to see the shade of his eyes, his crooked smile. Sirius loves him and finds beauty because of not despite of his scars. Bc they show strength and tell a story.

Mid level I think someone put it. Sure, I get why that can be a thing.

But. I think he can have sex appeal in other ways. His smile, his voice, a look in his eyes, muscles in certain places that defies him being otherwise skinny.

I'm fine with sirius being super intelligent and quick. Its canon after all. I love how him and James have this quality. But I don't think that means that remus liking to read or studying a lot takes that away from Sirius. I think that he likes academic validation, and he needs to read and study to stay caught up. He wants to prove he's worthy to be at school and has to work for it. I do think that he's smart though, and adds to group dynamics.

I don't think that he's just a downer and boring persay, otherwise why would they want to be with him. I think that he'll do the research maybe on the great idea that Sirius and James had and they will later carry it out flawlessly. Or sees some kind of gap in the plan and can think quick to help patch it up.

I do think he probably gets so hyperfixated on things which some people can't stand. but sirius loves to hear him talk about it. Just like remus is obsessed with everything sirius has to say. He's totally a nerd but I don't think he's just pathetic or a loser. Or maybe I just don't see those words the same as the recent posts have been using for him.

I think he's extraordinarily kind. he worships sirius, who in turn thinks remus is also the best. He's not rude to him even though I really do think they fight. But can't stay mad at each other long.

I do think that he can be angry, but I also think that a lot of times it's just at himself or crappy life circumstances. He's normally careful to keep any anger controlled bc he's worried about perception.

he's shy and and awkward and deals with a lot. He loves to help the younger students, and he uses above hard earned study methods to help them bc everything doesn't just come naturally or can share how he overcame it.

If everyone has a crush it's not bc he's completely hot or any of that. He's a soft boy with big comfy sweaters that gives good hugs. He's a good listener, a good teacher, shares anything he has, especially the chocolate that seems to be never ending in his bag. Bc he believes that it'll make you feel better. He has a kind word or compliment and can make you feel better.

I think he can be a momma's boy. And wants hope or poppy to hug him, and give him a space to cry and be weak. Otherwise I think that he likes to try to hide his pain bc he doesn't want to be a burden.

And ... That all said. I think that CR remus is different than a lot of this and hes absolutely perfect and I love him and I'd do insane things for this fictional man. It's one of my favorite ways to read about him. But something that carries over there from everything else I said is how enamored he is with Sirius Black. And how much he loves his inner circle. How he has this sacrificial love.

But anyways, I could go on about CR but that's totally not the point. Ive just seen a few things and wanted to say some things about how I see him a lot. And maybe the posts that have me feeling kind of sad talking about him are actually saying some of the same things I'm just negatively associating some words or ideas bc I know personally I can also interpret things completely the wrong way or not read into the subtext well enough

Let me know what you think. But if you think this is wrong; be kind.

And the people who like to come all up in my inbox about hating Sirius-- this isnt that. To be clear. I don't want remus to take over any traits of Sirius or whatever else you accuse me of. This has to do mostly with remus except me saying that sirius sees something in remus that a lot of people don't, that they're in love and adore each other.

I do in fact love Sirius Black and think he's wonderful. And you're missing the point if you think I hate that man. But I want to talk about remus rn and if you want something talking about Sirius, so many other wonderful people on here do that, so let's find that instead and let me hyperfixate and talk about remus.

Other random things I'll probably add to that really are prb just me.

-he is a horrible dancer. But he'll do it for sirius

-he'd do almost anything for Sirius.

-he's a music snob. But he'll read anything

-he is super annoying in class bc he shakes his leg or taps his quill. Sirius thinks it's adorable though.

-he needs a cane around the full. But he doesn't like to use it.

-the man loves weed. Him and hope smoke together.

-he has no idea how to take care of his hair

-to me he's associated with chronic illness, pain or disability in every universe. Or some mix or variation. (Ofc authors have free choice it's their story and I have no right for demands or anything) but I write him that way, hc him that way, get stupidly happy when I read it bc I feel so seen, search AO3 tags regularly for these portrayals.

-remus has no sense of style. But sirius doesn't care, he's so soft and cozy with his sweaters. The only thing about that is that I'm personally convinced hope bought remus a leather jacket, he shows up wearing it on the train, Sirius somehow gets his hands on it... Remus' eyes pop out of his head, maybe drools a bit- and it becomes Sirius' trademark

#remus lupin #remus loves sirius #sirius loves remus #wolfstar #marauders #remus lupin appreciation #my take on remus #please be nice to me #i am fine if you disagree #but don't be those rude anon messages #to be clear #i love sirius #but this is about remus #disabled remus #chronic illness #chronic pain

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milks-thoughts · 11 months

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SOMETHING I NOTICED ON REWATCH OF LMK S3 (this is a semi-long ass rant and I’m very sleep deprived you can stop reading after Redson lmao):

BABY REDSON HAS A CIRCLET. ON HIS FUCKING NECK. The circlet is a torture device created by Tang Sanzang, it tightens when a spell is chanted out (Tang Sanzang freed Monkey King from Five Phases Mountain and put a circlet on his head. When Monkey King was disobedient, the circlet would tighten around his head. - The LMK Wiki) so.. Tang Sanzang put the circlet on this INFANTS neck (assuming he can control where it appears, I know next to nothing about The Journey To The West and I’m strictly speaking about LMK) While I understand why Tang Sanzang put a circlet on Redson in the first place, it’s still horrifying to think about the placement. And it leaves me wondering if DBK and Princess Iron Fan ever used the spell. (Probably not tho- DBK and Princess Iron Fan are good parents I dont really care what anyone else says)

What I do find strange though, on MKs Lego figure his headband has a circlet design on it. WHAT are they implying??? Is he gonna get circleted-? is that the right way to tense that?? IS MY MONKEY MAN GOING TO GET TORTURED or is it just another comparison to Wukong?

AND EVEN WEIRDER. The ONLY figure that doesn’t have the circlet on his headband is when he’s working!

WHAT ARE THEY IMPLYING?? WAS THIS ACCIDENTAL and am I looking WAY too deep into this because I’m running on 2 hours of sleep and festering with autistic hyperfixation on this show? We may never know. ALSO ALSO Y’know how young Sun Wukong has the circlet on his head?

Do the different locations of the circlet do different things? It’s very strange why Wukong would have it on his head while an ACTUAL BABY has it on his neck BUT AT THE SAME TIME NE ZHA ALSO HAS IT ON HIS NECK

SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT THE CIRCLET BEING LOCATED ON THE HEAD HURTS WORSE THEN IT BEING LOCATED ON THE NECK?? MK also gets a circlet in the show, although it’s very brief,

In the S1 Pilot “ A Hero Is Born “ he gets one when he first unlocks his powers and attacks DBK. So is the circlet connected to Monkey Kings powers? since that’d be the ONLY way MK could even get a circlet at the time (and still now, I seriously doubt Tang would stick a circlet on MK)

CIRCLING BACK TO NE ZHA REALY QUICK: why does he have a circlet? WHAT did he do to deserve it? (I think I remember reading somewhere that he fought/killed Ao Bing, Ao Gaungs son) From what we know he was always doing what he was told, he fought against the Brotherhood when they first invaded, along side Princess Iron Fan and Erlang. So..like..why? Why does he have a circlet? And we can see that its not a necessity for all celestial beings. So does he obey out of fear and not loyalty? And is that why he was so hell bent on not letting Monkey King get the map and the rings in S3? Was he absolutely terrified to fail because of the circlet? But that doesn’t make sense, maybe he was only terrified of the Samadhi Fire. Even when he was young he had the circlet, what did this man do.

HE EVEN HAS IT WHEN HES BANDAGED UP IN S4

WHAT DID HE DO??? WHY DOES HE HAVE A CIRCLET???

#lego monkie king #lmk spoilers #lmk season 4 #lmk sun wukong #lmk red son #lmk nezha #lmk mk #seriously wtf did Ne Zha do??#why is he in magic jewelry baby jail #baby jail..accept they’re tortured #fun :D #im very sleep deprived #and confused #im also autistic #soo #(I will be reading Journey to the west whenever i can)#maybe even more

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user-needs-new-hyperfixation · 29 days

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Thanks so much @user-needs-new-hyperfixation for sharing your fic"The First Poem". It's one of my fav sherliam fic until now.... And imagine my surprise when I read that one of the thing that inspire you to wrote this fic is that one scene from Vanitas no Carte.....💐🌷🌺

Can I ask for advice if you don't mind? My friend wants to write rare pair from Yuumori, between Mycroft and Hudson. So somehow they got into relationship between those 3 years gap, and when Sherlock & William got back to London, miss Hudson found out that she got pregnant.... Now, my friend knows that I ship Mycroft and Albert but still want to ask my opinion on her fic. What do you think? Does that plot seem ooc to you? Is it possible in au?

Sorry for my long ask....

Having now been reassured that the friend is cool with this, I can answer haha! (Thanks for that!)

(Sorry for my long answer! 😅)

First off, thank you so much for reading my fic! I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it!! 😊

Even though I obviously very much ship Mycroft/Albert, I do also really really like Mycroft/Hudson. I think it's as valid as any of the other side pairings: Sherliam is the big essentially canon ship and everything else is just kind of taking little crumbs and running with them, and that's great and fun and I love doing it, haha!

I've written random posts before about how I think Mycroft and Miss Hudson could have a very...idk, mature? romance. They're both very independent and well into adulthood. I think they would be really forthright and have a good idea of what they want from life, and, in a relationship context, from each other. I tend to think they'd avoid a lot of the drama that comes with younger romances (*affectionately side-eyes Sherliam's theatrics*).

Also I always think they'd be really good parents because they've already been parenting Sherly together for years. 😆 (I kid, they're definitely both more older siblings to him. Regardless, it's a cute part of their bond.)

I think them growing closer together during the timeskip years is a very realistic possibility. It's canonical that they were there for each other in their grief at least to some degree, with the adorable milk tea thing and whatnot. It's sweet to imagine them discovering something new and joyful together while they comfort each other.

I don't know how familiar you and your friend are with the Victorian Era, but the one caution I'll give just in case is that if an (I'm assuming) unmarried pregnancy is treated in a Victorian-setting fic the way it would be in the modern day, it would absolutely take me right out of the story. Being unmarried and pregnant then was A Big Deal, with relatively few options for how to proceed (here's an article about one of those options: TW for mentions of rape and suicide). So, if the fic isn't a modern day AU, I would want to see those problems at least be acknowledged. Most likely it would put the couple in a position where a quick wedding makes the most sense. (Of course, if the idea is that they actually got married during the timeskip, disregard all this lol!)

Anyway, I would actually love to see more Mycroft/Hudson fics in general, so I'm eager to see what your friend comes up with! I don't think there's anything ooc about the pairing at all -- at least, no more so than any of the other ships besides Sherliam. In fact, I could probably even argue that Mycal (at least with the way most of us like to write Albert 😅) is much more ooc from a canon perspective. I'm always delighted to hear about (new?) people making fic for our lovely little fandom, and I wish your friend all the best with their writing!!

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #asks

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kayetra-spade-queen · 1 month

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Randy Cunningham

The youngest baby Shade of the team. My own Furina-fied child of hyperfixation over theater shows and senses to abide of the law.

Randall Dupont Cunningham

Randall = actual first full first name, people just settles over the nickname (like everyone else)

Dupont = an add-on middle name to give my French-origin headcanon a meaning and reason. Also meaning 'Bridge' in French

Cunningham = I do not need to explain

Relationships:

Mr and Mrs. Cunningham:

The fact that these two barely had any existence in the entire show makes things infuriatingly complicated. They're mentioned, sure, but even when they're mentioned, it didn't give much an impact to the overall show, and they're ended up as characters of the abyss; they exists to some extent, but they have little to no relevance in the entire plot.

Well, I suppose this give me more room to style my way in; a relatively normal family, it's just that none of the parents are aware of their son's heroic deeds and stunts, nor aware he was the then-Norrisvile ninja. When Randy became interested in learning law so suddenly, it came as a huge surprise as Randy is usually isn't so invested in studies, even in his highschool years. Nonetheless, they were pleased that their son had found something he wanted to pursue, and it was also thanks to Randy's own quick learning ability and both parents' endless support that he manage to became a iudex of the country at such a young age.

Howard:

I cannot find anything to change in their relationship. I'd say they're besties through life and death and even after the end of time. Still stuck with each other even after the post-change of ninja. Howard was like Randy's right hand man when he became iudex.

Theresa:

See, I wanted to change a few things in their relationship; I want them to be kept as friends, nothing more, as I am still on the fence whether I should create a whole new character as Randy's love interest or no. I want to think that Theresa didn't know the ninja is Randy until after a little while later, and became a trio along with Randy and Howard afterwards; covering for Randy if he had to go fight while still in the middle of class for example. At some point, she did have a crush on Randy after knowing the ninja is indeed Randy because she had an initial crush on the ninja, but she decided to let go of her feelings in fear that it'll hinder Randy's work. They are still friends to this very day. She's Randy's left hand woman, and the current director of the Phénix Institute.

Danny:

Although with the vast age difference, they get along quite well and are very close. Danny had an immense respect for the younger for his dedication towards his duty as a iudex, the ninja-mentor for emerging new ninjas, and as the current long-lasting ninja himself. Randy also respected the older for his great power and authority over his ghostly court, and felt inspired to do better in his own court. Danny is mostly more amused with the style of how Randy manages his court.

Kim:

Viewed her as a teacher who is willing to help him tackle subjects he never knew he needed in his life. Kim herself is quite fond of the younger for his unique perceptions and views and work ethics, and she found enjoyment teaching the younger some skills that could be very useful and put in a interesting way at the Cour De La Soleil.

Zak:

Acquainted through his former-pen-pal-now-bestie, Ben. Upon first impression, he already admired the older already, and was pleased to gained another friend himself, the same thing could be said to Zak also. Although he would much rather meet him in a more... Favorable circumstances.

Rex:

Was more surprised than anything when he heard from Ben that he started a relationship with someone, but otherwise supportive and happy about it. When they first met (though not in the most pleasant circumstances sure), he was already pleased to meet the very same person who had made his friend happy (also with that same person's talent over magic tricks). Rex was a frequent guest at the Cour De La Soleil courthouse (before becoming a member of Soleil Theater afterwards) after he moved to France to move in with Ben and the children, presenting his magic shows in favor of everyone's entertainment and enjoyment. A few times, they're also partnering up to make extravagant theatrical-magic shows, and many times it became a hit.

First Ninja, Ninjanomicon:

Randy had the mentor-student relationship when it comes to First, while Randy had this weird relationship with Nomicon, cuz like- it's sentient artifact, what relationship is there to be established? Even if Randy tried, it'll be way too difficult with how Nomicon is hella stubborn and vague and all that.

Personality:

Somewhat similar to his personality in original, but had matured since he's now older. Randy actually had a knack for teaching himself in his time mentoring the current-chosen ninjas (as his memories aren't wiped, still kept his ninja abilities, and was completely denied of Ultimate Lesson by Nomicon), and finally understood why Kim and First had the fondness of watching their students/successors learning what they were taught to do.

Surprise to absolutely no one, I also intend to put some of Furina's personality on Randy too (technically she was all acting to the point she doesn't recognized herself anymore for the sake that her nation doesn't fall into calamity, but idk for her now since she's no longer the archon and for her story quest); flamboyant, unpredictable, yet also laid back, but this only happens when he's off from the courthouse and/or are in duty with the Soleil Theater. However, when he's in charge of a case, the whole dramatic flares and laid back energy are gone; replaced in all serious and no-nonsense attitude with no tolerance over those who couldn't abide to the order of his courthouse.

Battle Attire:

Since when in duty with the Shades, he'll have a ninja suit. However, I'll heavily alter it since the style of his previous ninja suit as well as its abilities within the suit is the Norisu-style that can only be worn by the Norrisville ninjas. Ben had to make a whole new ninja suit just for Randy. The red will be replaced with grayish blue.

As for the hair, it grew out throughout the years, so now is about the length of his chest, usually being tied so it wouldn't get in the way. He had blue streaks because of the Heart of Tandem.

(Base: TheCherryMonsterLu (DeviantArt));

Weapons:

Ninja sword

Longclaw sword (depending on fighting style, which this sword heavily relies on his Heart of Tandem powers)

Smoke bombs

Chain sickles

Abilities:

Water manipulation (via Heart of Tandem)

Basically everything he had learned during his time as the Norrisville Ninja

Other Info:

Randy is partial Japanese, but mostly Scottish and France heritage.

Norrisville is, in this version, are located in France, since I need to make it make sense why Randy became Ben's pen pal from France.

However, Norrisville is a city in France that speaks English half of the time. Randy could speak both English and French because it's the mandatory subjects he had during his education.

Randy's role as a "ludex" was completely inspired by both Furina and Neuvillette from Genshin Impact. The title of "ludex" from Neuvillette as the iudex of Fontaine, while almost half of his personality who enjoys theatrical drama and the shining spotlight came from Furina when acting as the hydro archon, except with the whole cursed for 500 years to fool an entire nation and the heavens bit and it was actually part of his personality instead of pretend.

Yes, Randy is still ninja even after 4 years time limit. But there's a reason for it; for one, after his ninja duty is all at Norrisville, instead of facing the Ultimate Lesson, his identity and memories as ninja is still intact for a few reasons, one of them is due to the fact of a new threat outside Norrisville (which is the reason he joined the Shades in the first place). The other because of the involvement of the Heart of Tandem literally appearing right in the middle of the years of Randy being ninja.

Randy is not the Norrisville Ninja (anymore), he's an independent ninja. Still made it secret to the public though.

Randy's Heart of Tandem element is indeed water (how original-). This however, isn't made a secret, and was showcase numerous times in court proceedings as the iudex.

Randy and Ben's relationship could be viewed like Chevreuse and Chiori respectively in a few senses, and that's disregarding the personalities.

I was honestly on the fence about giving Randy a partner (romantic-sense) using my own character, but I have a... Conflicting feelings about it, so I might rely on suggestions more than myself.

With the appearance of the Heart of Tandem in the middle of his years of being a ninja, things went on a completely different turn that took the attention of First and Nomicon. A lot of things went off course, from the whole aspect of memory-wipe after the Ultimate Lesson, the usage of powers and talents, everything went very differently. If Randy proceed with the Ultimate Lesson, not only he'll lose all of his memories of being ninja, he'll eventually lose every memory that had stems him as a person, losing his sense of self, making his body only a shell without anything inside, and that's without mentioning the other catastrophe it could caused.

#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #randy cunnigham #rc9gn #shades of prisms #Kayetra Spade Queen

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noxexistant · 1 year

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Hi I wanna know what you think all the newsies’ mental illnesses are 😤

Or as many as you can think of

oh, hell yes. bout to put my lifetime of my own brain plus everyone i’ve met through mental health exploration and treatment plus living in care with other traumatised and mentally ill kids to work. (although, obligatory disclaimer, these are just ideas and me messing around, mental health is messy and complicated especially when translating between modern understanding and how that would’ve been understood and expressed in-period. this is not me formally diagnosing these characters, more just being like ‘hey, what if’ in a more nebulous sense. and, again, mental health is messy!)

first of all, jack definitely has c-ptsd - complex post-traumatic stress disorder, caused by consistent and long-term trauma and, as the name implies, with more complicated and far-reaching symptoms than ‘standard’ ptsd. he dissociates a lot, and his visions of santa fe can border on delusion when he’s in worse states - which can sometimes border on hypomania. his self-esteem is unstable and imbalanced, and he has a lot of issues with paranoia; he believes the world is against him, that anyone will betray him, that any information learned about him will be used against him. he lies compulsively as a result, about even the most innocuous stuff. he uses anger as a cover for his emotions. he’s restless and unable to really hold grudges because he’s so desperate for bonds, but he’s also quick to back off when people get too close. he has a pretty fearful-avoidant attachment style, but feels deeply betrayed when other parties are the ones to back away from him instead of the other way around. he also probably has adhd, defined by hyperfocus and hyperfixations and inattentiveness to anything he finds dull, he’s fidgety and talks a lot and usually ends up putting his foot in his mouth and then talking even more.

david has anxiety and frequent panic attacks, and i can also see him having ocpd - obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is entirely separate from ocd. it’s characterised by a need for perfection and severe anxiety when things aren’t perfect, holding unrealistically high expectations for himself and others, and getting very anxious/distressed when mistakes are made by himself or others. he likes things organised and structured, his perfectionism holds him back from actually doing things, he focuses on work and productivity rather than his needs or hobbies, he has trouble delegating or working with others as he can believe that he’s the only person who can do something right. he has to hold himself back from immediately re-doing tasks for others, like when one of the other newsies ties their boots sloppily or les doesn’t fold his clothes right or sarah doesn’t wash the dishes properly. he’s also autistic.

crutchie has ptsd, bouts of depression, and is all but incapable of being honest about his emotions - he’d rather keep them under wraps and all but avoid them entirely, would sooner make himself sick with them than express them openly to others. he also dissociates, which helps with avoiding emotions, though his dissociative bouts happen most commonly after ptsd triggers or flashbacks. he goes empty-eyed and unresponsive when he’s dissociating, just staring into the middle distance, and he can’t get out of bed on the worst days of his depression. he won’t eat, won’t speak, will at most just try and smile at anyone who expresses concern - tight-lipped, more of a grimace than anything.

race has adhd and episodes of hypomania. he exhibits self-destructive and self-endangering behaviours, including starting fights and generally just doing stupid stuff that could well get him and others hurt, and he absolutely cannot be talked down when he’s hypomanic. he has aggressive/violent outbursts if anyone tries, will stop talking to them - usually running away to brooklyn entirely - until he’s come down by himself, and then he’ll come back and apologise sincerely for what he might’ve said when he was “jittery”. the others are always understanding, though race still harbours a lot of shame for it. he’s terrified one day he’ll say or do something that makes spot hate him.

albert is anxious and restless and a kleptomaniac - he steals compulsively, particularly anything shiny or expensive-looking. he’s not great with relationships, tends to have little interest in other people, and can’t really read tone or social cues. i could see him having symptoms of autism or schizoid personality disorder, which have a considerable overlap in symptoms, most commonly characterised by difficulty with relationships and disinterest and “lack of humour” and preferring being alone - though quite probably not enough symptoms to be diagnosed with either (speaking in the realms of a modern au).

finch, i could totally see having schizoid personality disorder. he’s paranoid too, frequently gets the idea in his head that he’s being watched or followed, particularly since he ran away, or feels like the others are talking about him. he hoards food (as much as he can when there’s so little of it) and has a lot of sleep problems, sleeping little and light. he doesn’t really dream, but when he does they’re stress dreams or nightmares and he always wakes up with his heart pounding. he’ll spend the time until the bell rings sat up, eyes darting around the room, sure there’s something, someone, something.

specs has symptoms of ocd, most commonly rituals to ensure the safety of the other newsies. he has to wash his face just right so that everyone sells okay that day, and step over the trolley lines perfect because if he doesn’t someone‘ll get hit, touch each of the beds in a certain order to make sure everyone’s safe for the night, stuff like that. his glasses are also always spotless, and nobody can touch them.

tommy boy stammers and has social anxiety. splasher has ptsd, and frequent nightmares because of it - and an intense fear of abandonment. elmer has very little self-esteem and is loud/disruptive for attention, including making out-of-turn jokes. henry harbours nothing but guilt for his father’s death (even though it wasn’t at all his fault, it’s often just how grief manifests) and isn’t processing his grief at all, sometimes he’ll lose himself in the delusion that his father isn’t really dead and the deli is still waiting for him; he also has a lot of issues with food, including binging when food is available.

spot’s got c-ptsd and his complicated emotions tend to manifest as anger/aggression. he doesn’t know how to articulate his feelings, and usually won’t try. she’s kind of terrified by her relationship with race, because she doesn’t know why race likes her and wholly believes that he’ll suddenly stop. their sense of self-esteem is very complicated - very high in some aspects, and non-existent in others. he can struggle with depersonalisation.

and, bonus, because i’m me:

the delanceys both have c-ptsd. oscar has adhd and antisocial personality disorder. morris has bpd and autism. feel free to ask me if you wanna hear more about them, or about any other characters i didn’t mention, or even just more about a character in particular <3

#answered #anonymous #my headcanons

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wifiwuxians · 5 months

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quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

#long post #shin dont look #jic #who AM I i never do fic recs LOL #the fic i linked i treat it as a twin soul to your hands and mine #<- if you havent read this one pls. anyone seeing this. your hands and mine gotnocents ao3 thank yuo

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maryellencarter · 2 years

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Memed from @thisbluespirit : "Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media, in no particular order, then tag ten people."

Do I even have ten blorbos? Surely I must. I don't have handy gifs of most of them, I don't think. How far back in my fannish history am I going to wind up going here?

1: Jigen Daisuke, from Lupin III. I've told this story in a few different places, but about six or seven years ago -- I think it must have been 2015 because some of the promotional material from Part 4 looks awfully familiar -- VirusQ was reblogging an assortment of Lupin stuff. Now, VQ and I have *extremely* similar taste in sharpshooters. I saw about a five-second clip from Jigen's Gravestone, the bit where Jigen is explaining to Lupin why he lost the first quick-draw duel in that movie (I'm pretty sure it was the Japanese subbed version but it could have been English with dubtitles, I know the audio was written down because like fuck would I have remembered Jigen's name six years later if it wasn't), and I said to myself, "If I see *any* more of this man I am going to have a new hyperfixation, and I do not have the spoons for that right now," and I blocked the Lupin III tag on Tumblr for the next six years.

Then, late last year, Leia asked me "hey would you buy me an action figure for Christmas if I asked", and she linked me a figure of one Goemon Ishikawa XIII, whom I had never heard of in my life. But I clicked through to the Amazon listing, and you know how those have the long stringy search-engine titles, so it was something like "Banpresto Goemon Ishikawa XIII Lupin III", and I was like "I know that name, Lupin III" and I had a feeling as of impending fate. (Not to be melodramatic, but I really did. I have a habit of putting off many visual medias until the stars align, and sometimes they actually do align and it's a very particular feeling.) And then I scrolled down to "other people also bought" and went I KNOW THAT SKRUNKLY ASS MOTHERFUCKER ^_^ and then I very cautiously made noises (not to get Leia's hopes up too far) indicating that I would be amenable to being shown the thing, and then she did, and now I've seen 95% of it and we're in the middle of publishing a 50k novel about it :D

(Also I've dragged at least two other people into it after me. The First is one *hell* of a gateway drug. XD)

2: Wes Janson, from about ten seconds of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, and also four tie-in novels by Aaron Allston from the '90s. If you've seen ESB, you presumably remember the scene on Hoth where they use the snowspeeder tow cables to wrap around the AT-AT's legs and knock it down. Wes is the gunner who actually makes the shot that anchors the tow cable to the AT-AT's foot. This is his entire existence on film. However, because Star Wars, his personality and backstory was greatly expanded in the tie-in novels (and some comics which I read much later and so only regard when they happen to add important details like the existence of socks in the GFFA). He became Rogue Squadron's class clown with some underlying survivor's guilt and PTSD that presents *really* similarly to mine, plus the ability as a trainer to turn a ragtag band of misfit pilots into a found family -- an ability which his friend and boss Wedge Antilles weaponizes as the premise of the Wraith Squadron trilogy, because Wedge never saw a character trait he didn't think tactically about.

I first read the tie-in novels in 2007 or thereabouts, while being extremely isolated and struggling with undiagnosed PTSD, ongoing emotional abuse, and an assortment of other mental health bullshit, and latched onto Wes *hard*. I've wandered in and out of the fandom several times over the years; I originally wanted to grow up to be Wes but didn't think that was possible. When it occurs to me to think about it, I'm still quite thoroughly confused that I've not only grown up to be him but have also managed to acquire my very own Hobbie Klivian. (That's the guy in the background of Princess Leia's briefing scene on Hoth who says "Two fighters against a Star Destroyer?" In the comics and at least one of the novels, he's Wes's BFF, wingmate, and partner in crime. He's laconic, sarcastic, pessimistic, and has up to three prosthetic limbs and possibly a prosthetic dick, depending on which parts of canon you accept and which ones you think are an editing error, a stupid throwaway line, etc. Star Wars! *jazz hands* Hobbie is a massive troll, but quiet enough that people usually notice the much more flamboyant Wes first.)

Did I mention Wes is also a sharpshooter? For some reason, I have a *type*, and very little about it is physical appearance -- I think "sharpshooter with a soft spot for people who need help, probably has PTSD, also a knack for unexpectedly wise insights possibly delivered in a rusty baritone" is probably gonna be at least half the guys on this list.

3: Zaeed Massani. Case in point. Zaeed is a DLC character from Mass Effect 2, voiced by the late and greatly lamented Robin Sachs, who was an absolutely amazing voice actor (possibly better known as the recurring chaos sorcerer Ethan Rayne in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the main villain whose name is escaping me in GalaxyQuest, although there's something wrong with the mike setup or the ADR in GalaxyQuest so you don't really get the full effect of his amazing vocal range). Uh. Where was I? Right. Zaeed is yet another sharpshooter, a merc in his forties or fifties -- Mass Effect continuity being what it is, he has at least two wildly contradictory backstory timelines. Point is, twenty-odd years ago as of ME2, he founded a mercenary group which became very large and successful, and his co-founder double-crossed him and shot him in the face at point-blank range. Being made primarily of steel wool and hatred, Zaeed survived this with only the loss of an eye, which you'd think would be a problem for a sharpshooter, but nope, he's still one of the best there is at what he does.

As of ME2, Zaeed has been trying for twenty years to find and get revenge on the man who double-crossed him. Being a DLC character, he has a nice compact little story where you can either help him get his revenge -- having to let a factory's worth of trapped workers burn to death in order to do so, because video games -- or save the trapped workers but let the enemy get away. When I first played ME2 on a severely underclocked computer, I had planned to take the "Paragon" route where you save the workers (me being me, I had read a walkthrough of the mission beforehand), but there's a puzzle minigame you have to solve to open the door to that route, and my computer lagged too much to get through the minigame, so I had to take the "Renegade" route where you take a quicker path through the burning factory, help Zaeed get his revenge, but have to listen to the distant screams of the dying factory workers the whole time.

I've since played both routes, but Robin Sachs absolutely *nailed* the voice acting, the script was fantastic as well ("Don't you call that a goddamn grudge!" hits me really hard for personal reasons), and I always wind up going Renegade because... well. Depictions of PTSD mostly have a tendency to trigger my own PTSD (it's complicated), but some of them land just right. Plus, listening to him tell the story about Jessie, his first gun that ge finally had to retire a couple of years before ME2... god, he absolutely breaks my damn heart every time.

Actually, I should probably tell the story about Jessie, too. It's this weird recursive piece of causality. So, okay, when I was very first getting into Mass Effect 3 multiplayer, this would have been in early 2013. There used to be these weekend challenges where you competed to get a certain number of points with certain weapons, or killing certain enemies, or whatever. I hadn't played any of the singleplayer games yet, didn't know any of the characters, I was just messing around in what is still objectively the best co-op shooter multiplayer ever created. Early March 2013, it was announced that one of the voice actors had just died and there was going to be a memorial weekend challenge, so many kill points with this specific gun and so many with this specific power. Well, I didn't have any kit with the required power (it took me literally another year to finally unlock one), but I had the gun because it's one of the five starter guns you unlock on your first multiplayer login. So I'm always down for a memorial event like that, so I did what I could. Didn't get very far that weekend, but I did find that I liked the gun -- a basic shooter game assault rifle, very "spray and pray" style (which was about all I could do on this extremely laggy underpowered computer), kind of a peashooter as far as damage per bullet but with a really big clip and easy to aim.

So then I carried this gun as my default for quite a long time, and of course anytime people were talking about their favorite guns in the game they just had nothing good to say about it (because, gamers being gamers, there are like two or three guns that are really best suited to the highest difficulty level, and this gun really is only suited to the lowest difficulty but that's what I played). So then when I finally got around to playing singleplayer, and I got to Mass Effect 2... even before you do Zaeed's DLC mission, as soon as you recruit him, you can go and talk to him about various items scattered around his room, get some war stories and characterization out of him. And one of those items was his first gun, which he named Jessie, which was this same model of starter assault rifle. He spoke so fondly about it that a big part of why I initially latched onto him is that I'd finally found someone else (even though a fictional character) who appreciated this gun. Which, of course, I only appreciated so much because of the memorial weekend challenge for Robin Sachs, where we had to use Zaeed's gun.

Damn, now I want to play Mass Effect again. I take Zaeed everywhere in ME2, every mission that you get to choose a squadmate on (there are some where you can only take required squadmates). Because squadmates don't have bullet/power travel time but the player character does, and because my computer was so laggy, telling Zaeed to shoot a particular enemy off me was often the only way I stayed alive.

Am I gonna be able to fit ten blorbos in a single tumblr post at this rate? Fuck if I know.

4: Wolverine / Logan, from the X-Men (comics and various assorted animated shows, I've never gotten into the live action X-Men stuff). Not a sharpshooter, for once. ^_^ So back in 2004, Spider-Man 2 (the Tobey Maguire one with Alfred Molina as Doc Ock) came out, and somebody recommended it to my mother, who became absolutely obsessed with all things Spidey. So a friend of hers was taping the '90s Spider-Man animated TV show off cable at the time, and I wound up getting assigned the rather drudging work of cutting the commercials out of said show using some video editing software we had for reasons, so we could burn it to DVD-R without having to sit through a bunch of ads. I still owned that set of homemade DVDs until I lost all my most treasured stuff a few years back, actually, but it's on Disney+ now, so there's that.

Point is, the '90s Spider-Man cartoon did a crossover two-parter with the '90s X-Men cartoon, and I *really* have a thing for those growly baritones, okay? So I wound up finding the bulk black-and-white "Essential X-Men" reprints of Chris Claremont's run at the library -- they had volumes two and three, which turned out to be the perfect introduction for me, covering most of John Byrne's run as artist (including the classic Dark Phoenix Saga, which literally every X-Men adaptation apparently has to cover at some point) and all of Dave Cockrum's second run, and more to the point, covering the most pivotal part of Wolverine's character development from a feral hypothetically-teenage asshole with no known name to something pretty much approximating his "standard" characterization in the years since. As an autistic tortellini dealing with constant forced overstimulation and unpredictable meltdowns, I really latched onto the portrayal of Logan's struggle to control his "berserker rage" meltdowns caused by his enhanced senses.

Of course, Herself was always terrified of anything that she feared might get me in touch with my violent side, and for good damn reason -- both my parents strongly deserved to have me snap and kill them, and I'm convinced that she at least knew it. (I have not, for the record, killed anyone irl. Yet. You never know.) She forbade me to read X-Men comics, I attempted to set An Boundary on my eighteenth birthday by telling her I would respect her rules and not bring them into her house but I was an adult who needed to make my own moral decisions and I would continue to read them at the library, and she very conveniently started the Remodel of Doom a few months later which kept me 100% isolated and under her control for the next five years as well as permanently ruining my health... but also forced me to spend most of my waking hours at the library because the house where I was living didn't have running water or, uh, installed toilets for a lot of that timeframe, which meant I found a compilation of "40 Years of X-Men" on CD-ROM at the library and read *the entire fucking thing*.

With that kind of isolation and that kind of input, I wound up developing a headmate version of Logan, who helped me massively with surviving and getting out of that whole situation. He very, very rarely shows up anymore, which is a really good sign, because it means I haven't been in that kind of a survival situation in... several years at least. I still think of him as my big brother, though (which is from a whole other situation I may have mentioned where my sisters and I had this incredibly complicated multi-crossover found family storyline going on... it says a lot about our general situation that the one who insisted no abuse was happening and I couldn't even use the term "a bad situation" about my experiences, was also the most heavily involved in creating a world where none of us had any interaction with our RL bio-parents.)

(My name in that storyline was Estel, which is Sindarin for "hope". On the nose much? ^_^ Logan still calls me Essie, which nobody else who's still in my life does. I've tried on a royal fuckton of names over the years. If I was going to change my legal name again, I'd probably take the last name Logan. Unless I made it my middle name and chose something that's not a first name for my last name -- my current legal name consists of three names that can all be first names, and the confusion it causes at doctor's offices is a pain in the ass.)

... that's only four blorbos, but I am out of spoons. I'm pretty sure the other six would fit the pattern as well. Let's see if I can at least make the rest of the list, if not say anything about them.

5: Adam Cartwright, from Bonanza. The original reason I wanted a hat, before Logan even entered the scene. Another sharpshooter, soft-spoken, mechanically minded (I have been known to say that my type is guys you'd want around to help you rebuild after an apocalypse, specifically a lot of them have engineering and/or childcare skills), and -- man, I don't know if it holds up, I don't even know where the hell I'd watch it since my VHS tapes are long gone, but I loved the hell out of early Bonanza back in the day. It hit the same kind of "eye-opening social justice for an extraordinarily sheltered tortellini" buttons as Howard Pease's 1930s YA mystery novels. The very first episode I ever saw was about the ways USian society treats felons after their jail sentences are up -- I can still hear the guest star saying bitterly, "They say you do your time and you pay your price, but don't you believe it!"

6: Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver and Jack O'Neill, which are two very different characters but I'll put that down as a twofer.

7: Gandalf, because he is a delightful bitchy-ass troll. We read The Hobbit and LOTR out loud as a family when I was ten, which was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me as a kid, and I was hooked right from "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I like it or not, or that you feel good this morning, or that it is a morning to be good on?" (I am still *insanely* proud that, with no other spoilers than the fact that the blurb for ROTK in the back of The Hobbit mentioned Gandalf, I recognized him on his return as Gandalf the White at the same moment Aragorn does and for the same reason -- his "laughing long and softly" there is distinctive, he does it in that first conversation with Bilbo in The Hobbit as well (at least I think it's the first conversation, I have my one-volume of LOTR but I don't own The Hobbit currently).

8: Does Marvel count as one fandom? Seems like it's supposed to, these days, but I'm gonna put down Venom as well. I named my hat after him. Well, *I* didn't, exactly -- my sister had a brown cowboy hat of which the brand name was Eddy, so when I got my black cowboy hat, he was promptly named Venom. I didn't mind, because in the '90s Spider-Man cartoon, Venom is voiced by Hank Azaria nomming on all the available scenery and then some, and I do love me some good scenery-chewing. Also Eddie Brock is just kind of a dork in any incarnation, and depending on your version and timeframe, he's also very much the Catholic guilt superhero, which you can see why that grabbed me.

Anyway, then Herself decided my hat was in fact a symbiote and wouldn't sit next to him in church (another reason I wanted a hat was for taking it off in church purposes, because when that's about the only way you can express masculinity as a very suppressed trans tortoise, you do what you can). Well, she always said she didn't actually believe he was a symbiote, but in a defensive sort of way, and she really wouldn't sit next to him. So that's why my hat has pronouns. That and the fact that he was basically my only remotely physical companion during the Remodel of Doom. Have you ever had to figure out the logistics of crying on a hat's shoulder? I have. Much of my hat-wearing experience lends itself well to writing Jigen, but I'm not so sure about that bit.

(Technically I retired Venom-the-hat earlier this year, he has a spot on the closet shelf now, but the new hat seems to be inheriting the pronouns. Nearly twenty years of habit doesn't go away easy. The new one doesn't seem to have a name for now, presumably because I have other friends.)

9: Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty? Man, I am either running out of blorbos or not thinking of some. Merryweather was partly a color coding thing -- my birth name was a variant of Mary and my next sister's was a variant of Rose, so whenever there were things like toothbrushes to divvy up, I got the blue one and she got the red or pink one. Suited me just fine, not being the pink-coded one after she came along. Anyway, so in Sleeping Beauty, obviously Flora was "her" fairy and Merryweather was mine, but Merryweather is also very relatable -- the most aggressive of the three fairies, the one who it's implied does all the chores for the sixteen years Aurora is growing up, and also she's just a little cutie.

10: Dr McCoy, from Star Trek: The Original Series. My space doctor. *The* space doctor by whom all others are measured. I could do a whole essay if I wasn't so tired. Best space doctor.

#meme

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fakeloveaskblog · 2 years

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Pretty lebiansss idm asking questions I am just horrible at ideas-but if you need plot please go ahead :) )

Thats fair logan, and sorry if I went too far :)

uh-remy, do you want to-check your phone? Or turn it on silent, if thats better-it just seems to be annoying you a bit, I noticed

Also, this game could go both ways, you could ask me or any of the watchers questions, maybe perhaps

Now, Remus's-have you everr...gone somewhere purely as an excuse to see someone?

🐌🕸

(proofread this while my sleeping pill was kicking in just fyi)

Logan shook his head "Not at all. If you had asked something I geniunely did not want to answer I would have expressed that"

Patty poked at his foot and smiled "Yeah he could have just used a safedword and gotten out of the game!"

"Deary please" He lightly smiled back.

It took a few seconds of Remy slowly blinking at you before what you'd said actually connected to their brain. They suddenly sat up and put on a relaxed smile.

"You're like tots right girlie! I'm gonna go for a quick cig break and like check my phone. Yeah"

Remy got up from the couch and nearly immediately fell over. It was unclear if it was because of the chronic pain or the alcohol. Both Remus and Janus were already half up from the couch when they got waved off.

"I'm okay! Just stood up too quickly!" Remy assured. They forced themself back up and stumbled out of the apartment.

All of them looked at the closed door for a few seconds before returning to the game. Remus excitedly clapped his hands at your suggestion.

"Great idea!! And great question. Hmmmmm lemme think. It takes a bit before the rats running around in my brain unionises enough to remember things and stuff!"

He filled his glass with slightly rotten milk while thinking before letting out a loud "A-HAH! ARGH AHAHAH!" and taking the shot. His sister wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Whenever I go on walks- Not to exercise don't worry!!! I'm still good ol Remus!! when I go on walks looking for road kill or bugs for Jannie's snake or bugs for me or cool trash cans or-"

"We get the point of your walks" Janus slipped in.

"Oh right. So whenever I do that and I happen to pass by a coffee shop I peak my head in just in case Remy is there! But ehhh usually they're not. But I still try!"

Patty tilted her head "awww. That's so cuute"

Remus dramatically put his hand over his heart and gripped onto Janus' shoulder "My dear bitchboy!! I have a confession to make!"

"Glad to know I'm at least a dear kind of bitch" Janus replied sarcastically.

"I do not actually come to your library that often because I love literature!!! I also love you- Your friendship!!!!"

"Darling you never actually take any books home. You just check them out and sit down and read them right in the library. And you also have the reading speed of a confused fish so it takes you many many days just to finish a single book in the library. I figured out quite quickly that you weren't only coming for the books"

"Yeah if i was purely coming for the books I would be eating them!"

"Excuse me?" Logan said, nearly exclaimed, as if he was a book that had been eaten recently.

"Nothing" Remus sent big puppy eyes to Janus "You don't mind me being there a bunch? I can concentrate better there as well. It helps having breaks to talk to someone- You- It helps to talk with you or else the words just become all jumbled after a while. I feel a bit silly when I can't like read because it's all too jumbled and I have to ask you to like help me parse it out-"

"Do I? A librarian mind? Mind having a consistent reader? Mind getting to search for incredibly specific books to quench that readers hyperfixation thirst? Mind having an inconspicuous to spend work time speaking to my dear friend? Mind also helping that dear friend? Yes Dukey, all of that sounds terribly exhausting and horrible actually and I mind it so incredibly much every second of my life. I think it has taken 40 years off of my lifespan already"

"It is very engaging when a kid comes in wishing for information on their niche special interest. I enjoy very much searching all over for them" Logan agreed "Reminds me of my young self"

"Have you also helped the tiny girl who wants every single book about squirrels?" Janus gushed a bit.

"I have. She told me there are 289 types of squirrels. Which is approximately 200 more than I had expected"

Remus let out a sigh of relief and slumped against Janus like a deflated balloon "Goodie. I was a bit nervous maybe I was annoying you when I asked you to find books on torture methods through the middle ages"

"That book was actually a total mood" Janus snarked.

Logan somehow pulled out a mini notebook and pen from his pocket "The watchers asked for questions right? I have quite a few. I shall start with basic biology-"

"Dear it's still for the game. Save it for later kay?" Patty butted in.

He let out a sigh and put the pen back "The figurative autopsy must wait for another time then"

Remus put his hand in the air "ME! Me! I have a super good question. Watchers would you ever....Kill a human!? Can you!? Is it against like ghost rules???? Demon rules???"

"Could you posses one of us? Like in the movies" Janus added.

Patty shook her hand around "Could you posses a plushie to hug us?!"

Rowan's eyes lit up "Could you posses a sword! Could I have a sword fight against an actual ghost demon????!"

Logan pulled down his glasses a little "Are you aware if you have a biological heart and if so could I see it and maybe take it apart?" Patty mouthed something which made him add "Pretty please?"

#ask #thanks for the ask!#sanders sides #dukeceit #🐌🕸#nearly put in an angsty part before deciding no lets keep this fluffy acually

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rubbery-duckery · 3 days

Text

Art Questions - from this post

When did you get into art?

Around late 2015, but really 2017 maybe.

What art-related sites have you ever signed up for?

Deviantart (circa 2009 maybe) and Tumblr.

Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

What defines your artistic style?

Now how can I know that? Crude maybe. Lacking any discernable inspiration.

Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

Not really. I feel like I have different styles though.

What levels of artistic education have you had?

None other than art class in elementary school, plus a pottery class in high school. I did take an intro to drawing class as a required art elective.

Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

Later

What is your favorite piece that you have done?

Every crummy, cringey doodle I made that gives people secondhand embarrassment.

What is your least favorite piece that you have done?

Something from 2nd grade that keeps getting shoved in my face by my sister.

What do you like most about your art?

Silly.

What do you like least about your art?

Silly.

Have you ever considered taking commissions?

No. I'm not good enough and I don't feel comfortable taking money away from others who actually need it. Maybe like $5 or less for quick fandom drawings, but even that seems dirty and like taking advantage of people's hyperfixation-state.

Are you looking to pursue a career in art?

No, because I know I can't improve enough to ever be professional.

What do you like drawing the most?

My own characters I guess.

What do you like drawing the least?

Things I'm incapable of drawing because it makes me mad. Complicated objects.

Do you draw more fanart or original art? If fanart, what fandom do you draw the most of?

Original because I'm bad at replicating other art styles and don't have a fandom mindset.

What would you absolutely refuse to draw?

NSFW stuff or even suggestive or overly romantic.

What is your purpose for drawing?

To have fun and relax.

What medium/program do you use the most in your art?

Cardstock paper and Medibang app

How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Poor.

Do you believe there is such thing as “bad art?”

Yeah.

List at least one of your “artspirations.”

Oswald / Astrocrush (gone)

What do you think you could stand to improve on?

Getting away from same face syndrome and more diversity. Anatomy. Backgrounds.

Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I don't think so. I used heavy reference (not tracing) for high school assignments and I think that made me look more talented than I really was to my classmates.

Draw a picture!

Okay !

#not art #text

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sansaorgana · 3 months

Text

— THROWN TO THE WOLVES (VI)

THROWN TO THE WOLVES MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader // Atreides!OC

SUMMARY — Na-baroness becomes untouchable since she is carrying The Harkonnen heir. Her new status allows her to push her husband's boundaries more fiercely.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — It’s written as an usual x Reader fic without describing anything about the Reader’s looks but I still classified it as an OC as well since she is Paul Atreides’ half-sister. I started with Feyd's pov because I know some of you wanted it but also I wanted it as well 😁 As usual, big thanks to everyone commenting and reblogging 🤗 Some of you were asking how can I post so frequently – the answer is I am an unemployed student completely abandoning her uni responsibilites as I am hyperfixating lmao ✌🏻 I think this is the longest chapter so far!

WARNINGS — arranged marriage, mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut), violent behaviour, death, mentions of planned and scientifical breeding, syringes

WORD COUNT — 6,890

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

THROWN TO THE WOLVES (VI)

Feyd woke up in the morning at the same time as always, his body was almost programmed to do that every day. The reason behind that was not only his need to practise but – most importantly – discipline. What had started with his uncle’s regimen, turned into his own self-controlling practices. At least when it came to pushing his body to the limit and training himself to become the greatest warrior in the galaxy.

Sex was the only sphere of his life where he was free and without any self-discipline at all. And perhaps the only sphere where he was really in charge. His daily life was filled with his uncle’s repulsive presence – Baron Harkonnen was like a big, fat spider; his sticky spiderweb was surrounding Feyd-Rautha and everyone else involved in his schemes. His presence was suffocating. Even in the arena Feyd could not be in control because everything was arranged by his uncle.

He looked at his sleeping wife. She was breathing calmly as her chest kept rising up and falling down rhythmically. Her throat was deliciously exposed and her lips slightly parted. She was a beautiful little thing and one swift movement of his hand would kill her. He always slept with a knife under his pillow. Feyd could picture it already; her pretty throat slit open and her red blood spilling all over the pillows and the mattress of his bed.

He had used to think of that a lot in the beginning of their marriage. How easy it would be to just kill her… for fun. For the sake of it. Because he could. Because she was his property.

But now, picturing that scene made him feel uneasy. He didn’t like imagining it and it was weird. He couldn’t understand why he found no pleasure in a fantasy like that anymore.

Perhaps it was because she could already carry his heir. But did it really matter? If not her, another one would. It was not that big of a deal after all.

He left the bed and went to take a quick shower before putting his clothes on. She was still asleep and he smirked at the sight. He wondered what her dreams were. He barely had any but he was sure it was not the case for her.

Not wanting to be late, he left the bedroom and walked towards the staircase when one of the Baron’s closest servants stopped him. It meant that his uncle had to come back from Arrakis already. Feyd knew he would come back quickly but it still felt too quick. He wouldn’t mind him staying there for a longer time.

“My Lord na-baron,” the servant bowed down as lowly as he could, “your uncle the Baron wishes to see you before your training.”

Feyd nodded at him and turned around to go to his uncle’s chambers. He couldn’t understand why he hated to go there as much as he did. He owed his uncle everything. He owed him the Harkonnen surname, he owed him his status and the future title of the Baron. Yet, seeing that old, sick man in his slimy black bathtub felt somehow pathetic, disgusting and enraging. If Feyd’s position on Giedi Prime was stronger already, he would murder his uncle with his bare hands. He wanted to bite the hand that feeds.

But his reputation was not good enough yet – most people saw him as a playboy who was only good at putting on a show in the arena. They knew his rivals were drugged and they knew he was his uncle’s puppet. Most people didn’t see him as smart and mature enough to be the future Baron.

Although his servants had told him that the same people liked his wife and hoped that the marriage would change him into a more serious man. People of Giedi Prime were mesmerised by their new na-baroness. Not only had there been no women in power in a long time on this planet but also she was of an exotic beauty that was making people jealous and curious.

Feyd stood in front of the door leading to his uncle’s chambers and nodded at the guards. They opened the door and he walked inside confidently before standing in front of the big tube where his uncle was sitting and smoking a pipe.

“You’re back,” Feyd greeted him coldly and clasped his hands behind his back.

“You don’t seem to be pleased, dear nephew,” Baron chuckled. “I left your brother in charge of Arrakis for now.”

“Why is he given this chance and not I?” Feyd’s muscles tensed. “Am I not your heir?”

“You are. That is why I need you here,” Baron smirked. “My servants informed me you had freed our baroness after one night in the cell. Is that true?” He changed the topic.

Feyd hesitated with an answer. First of all, he hated the way his uncle addressed his wife. He had hated it from the very beginning when they were talking about her – even before he had met her. After all, she was supposed to be his pet. But these days it was making him even more outraged.

Second of all, he knew very well he couldn’t answer honestly. He couldn’t tell his uncle that he simply hadn’t felt like locking his wife up in a cell for a few days. There had been no reason and she hadn’t been acting up after her family’s death. In fact, she was surprisingly stoic about it. At least when he was around.

“I wanted to fuck,” he answered but his uncle squinted his eyes at him. He knew very well that was a lie.

“You have plenty of others to satisfy your sexual desires with,” Baron pointed out.

“She is my wife. I don’t have to explain myself to you about what I do to her and what I decide about her,” Feyd drawled out.

“That is what I wanted to talk to you about, actually,” Baron only chuckled sarcastically. “Have you bred her already?”

“I have,” Feyd nodded. “She will be inspected by the medic today.”

“Assuming she is with child, in nine months you will have to make a decision whether to keep her or not,” Baron reminded him.

Feyd knew that his uncle wanted to be the one to make this decision for him. He wondered what his opinion on that matter was.

“And what would you want me to do with her?” He asked.

“I have to observe her more thoroughly. She has good qualities and I wouldn’t mind keeping her around. She surprised me, I have to admit. But on the other hand… Her cunning nature is something I do not approve of,” Baron confessed and Feyd laughed contemptuously at that.

“Look who’s talking, dear uncle,” he hissed out.

“Either way, perhaps we will not have to make a decision at all,” Baron smiled mysteriously and Feyd looked at him questioningly. “You know that her mother died in childbirth. The medic told me that the chances for that are high with our baroness, too. But don’t worry, your son should be fine.”

Feyd’s jaw clenched. For some reason he didn’t like the possibility his uncle had just told him about.

“Stop calling her our baroness. She is mine, is she not?” He felt anger filling his whole body; his veins were on fire, his muscles tensed and head felt as if it would explode any given moment. He had to restrain himself, though, and that was when he found the self-discipline training indeed useful. “When you were trying to convince me to this marriage, you were luring me by telling me she would be my pet, my property, something for me to play with. Now you claim her as if she was your own.”

“Between us two, dear nephew. If I was younger and of better health, I would never give her to you,” Baron Harkonnen smirked with contempt. “Perhaps I’d still do it anyway but I just knew that Leto would never agree to that,” he laughed and Feyd felt sick at the thought. “She is more fit to become the Baroness than you are to become the Baron. Under different circumstances, she would be mine. And what belongs to you, belongs to me anyway, for as long as I’m alive. You owe me everything.”

Feyd hadn’t been that angry in a long while. Not only did his uncle play with his possessive nature but also managed to insult him by saying that his wife was more worthy than him.

“Can I go now?” Feyd only asked, breathing heavily and clenching his fists.

“Yes, my dear nephew, you are free to go… Kiss our baroness from me,” Baron’s chortle accompanied Feyd as he was walking out of his uncle’s chambers.

After breakfast you were taken to the medic who was supposed to inspect you to find out if you were expecting Feyd-Rautha’s heir. You were not sure how to feel about it at all.

The idea of being pregnant with his baby was making you feel disgusted. And you knew that after giving birth to that child he would be able to kill you. On the other hand carrying his heir in your womb would make you untouchable for the next nine months and you could start playing your game with him a little rougher.

The medic smiled slightly and looked into your eyes as you were laying on the examination table. One of his cold hands was on your abdomen and the other was looking at some sort of device that you had not seen before. Giedi Prime was more technically advanced than your homeworld.

“You are with child, na-baroness. With a healthy baby boy,” he informed you.

A sudden wave of emotions spread throughout your body. Some unexpected warmth as you caught yourself smiling back at the medic.

“A-are you sure?” You asked.

“Yes, my Lady,” he nodded his head and moved away from you.

You carefully put your shaking hand on your womb as you took a deep breath in. There was a life inside you – half of your heathen husband, yes… but also half of you. And no one would take it away from you. It was your legacy.

Even if Feyd would kill you after you hand him your son for the first time, you’d always be written down as the mother of one of the Harkonnen barons in their big black chronicles stored in the fortress’ library.

“I will inject some vitamins and minerals now, my Lady,” the medic informed you and you nodded your head. You reached out your hand and allowed him to inject the substance that would help you to remain healthy for your son.

Now you were untouchable. He wouldn’t dare to hurt you. In fact, his job was to keep you and the child alive and strong.

“I wonder what he will look like,” you chuckled slightly and the medic laid his eyes on you. “Will he look more like me or Feyd?”

“The child you’re carrying, my Lady, is inheriting the best genetic material from both sides.”

“So he will look like me?” You teased and the medic chuckled.

“We will see. It is hard to tell, na-baroness. I have seen children of the Harkonnens with off-world women and it’s a lottery sometimes, really.”

“What do you mean? There’s been more?” You furrowed your brow but he remained silent as if he had just accidentally shared a secret. “Just tell me were the babies my husband’s?” You asked as your heart filled with fear and… jealousy?

“Oh, no, no, my Lady, not at all,” the medic shook his head and you sighed with relief. “You are free to go, na-baroness,” he added.

You stood up and let your dress fall down to cover your body properly as an idea popped into your head.

“Please, can I be the one to inform my husband about the child?” You asked the medic as he widened his eyes at you.

“You don’t have to ask me about such things, my Lady…”

“I just wanted to make sure if it’s allowed. I haven’t read much about the customs of this sort here,” you explained. It was true. Recently, while reading the books from their library, you focused more on learning their battle and war strategies, the origins of their glamorous victories and excessive violence.

“You are free to inform your husband on your own. I am going to talk to him later about it anyway. And I will inform the Baron in the meantime, my Lady,” the medic nodded his head.

“What do you mean you are going to talk to my husband about it later? Is there something you are hiding from me that is a matter of my health?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

You weren’t a child and Feyd was not your father. It angered you that there were things that were hidden from you as if your every single body function was your husband’s property.

“It is not…” the medic tried to find the right words, “...it’s for your own good, na-baroness. I do not wish to offend you with my words but… I will have to tell na-baron a few things… If he wants the baby to be safe, I mean… Na-baron will have to change some… Some of his behaviours, I mean…”

“Hush,” you smirked at him. “I know what you mean. Thank you,” you nodded your head and walked out of his room.

Despite carrying the devil’s spawn inside of you, you felt relieved. Perhaps in nine months you’d be killed and join your family but for those upcoming nine months you were the most protected person on Giedi Prime. And even your husband would be instructed to treat you gentler.

Speaking of him, you went to the courtyard where he had been training. You heard the noises from afar already but they did not startle you. In fact, you couldn’t wait to tell him the news. You wanted to see what his reaction would be.

Would he be pleased? Or would he not be interested at all? You began to enjoy that little game you had with him so much that every new situation like this – with a new possibility and a new scheming scenario to prepare – was filling your head with adrenaline.

When you entered the courtyard, you immediately spotted that Feyd was unusually angry on that day. You had been often watching him from the balcony as you had been eating breakfast and you had never seen him that furious during a training before. The slave man he was fighting already knew his fate on that day. Your husband wouldn’t be satisfied with the simple victory. There would be blood.

You nearly regretted bothering him. When he turned around to see you approaching him, he had murder in his eyes. It made your blood turn cold for a second. You only watched and swallowed thickly as he slit the slave man’s throat without even turning his head around to look at him. The body of the servant fell to the floor behind Feyd and he lowered his knife before approaching you.

“What do you want?” He asked, harshly. His eyes were still filled with rage. That murder was not enough to satisfy his appetite for destruction.

And it scared you a little how little you felt after witnessing it. Of course you felt bad for the servant’s life. But you were not terrified like you had been the first time witnessing him kill before your wedding.

“Why are you so angry today?” You tried to ask nicely as you tilted your head and bit on your lower lip.

He looked you up and down and you dared to touch the tensed muscles of his arms gently. He flinched but did not take a step back as usual.

“Doesn’t matter,” he drawled. “I asked you a question.”

“Aw, you’re not very nice,” you batted your eyelashes. He was visibly confused with your behaviour. “And I have very good news for you, dear husband,” you added ironically. Feyd’s eyes sparkled at that.

“You’re carrying an heir?” He asked and you nodded as your lips curled into a nervous smile. To your surprise, your husband smiled, too. It was one of his sneering smiles but it still counted as a form of joy in his limited body language.

“The medic says it’s a healthy baby boy. I’ve been injected with some vitamins and minerals, too,” you informed him. “He said he would have a word with you later.”

Feyd nodded at that. You noticed that his anger seemed to disappear now almost completely as his eyes kept wandering to your abdomen. You rolled your eyes and grabbed his empty hand to place it on your womb.

He tried to take it away and hissed at you but you kept clinging to it and pressing it to your body until he gave up.

“It is your heir, Feyd-Rautha. Your son, my Baron,” you whispered very quietly, seeing one of the real Baron’s servants approaching you from afar. “And it surprises me but I feel pride carrying him in my womb,” you added but what surprised you even more was the fact that these words didn’t feel like a lie at all.

“Na-baron, na-baroness…” Baron’s servant bowed down in front of you. “I am very sorry to bother but Baron Harkonnen wishes to see the Lady in the throne room.”

“Thank you,” you nodded at him. You wondered what that could be about but you assumed it was about the baby.

“I will go, too,” Feyd decided as he hid his blade and began walking even before you had moved. You followed him, not sure why he cared so much to be there as well. You had a feeling that something had happened this morning that you did not know of. And you didn’t like not knowing because every piece of information could be useful.

Not that you’d ever know everything going on behind your back. Not that you ever had.

When you entered the throne room, Feyd stood by your side in front of his uncle. It was perhaps the first time he didn’t stand behind you like a guard watching your every single movement. You weren’t sure if he did that intentionally but it made you feel more equal to him and you enjoyed that feeling.

The Baron was sitting on his throne and you smirked at the memory of conceiving your son there. You weren’t sure if it had exactly happened there but you liked to think so. There were also a few of Baron’s advisors sitting by the table filled with all sorts of papers.

“Baroness,” Baron greeted you and you nodded your head, gritting your teeth at the title he addressed you with, “I’ve heard that you’re carrying our heir. This pleases me,” he added and you heard Feyd taking a deep, shaky breath in.

“This pleases me, too, my Lord,” you answered calmly.

“But that is not the reason why I invited you here,” he explained. “As you know, your father and brother are dead,” he reminded you casually but it was obvious that he was watching your every little reaction. You felt your eye twitching but nothing else except for that. Feyd watched you, too, from the corner of his eye. You felt like a trapped animal. Showing weakness was absolutely forbidden.

“And Lady Jessica, too, I hope,” you only said.

“Of course,” Baron chuckled, “but have you thought what does that make you, then?”

“An orphan?” You asked, confused and that made the Baron laugh again.

“No, baroness. You are now The Duchess of The House Atreides,” he announced and your heart sank in your chest.

Oh, in what a twisted way your dream had come true. You had always wanted to bear this title; to be your father’s heiress. But you had never wanted to achieve it with murder and death. And now – indeed – you were the last living person of the Atreides bloodline. And it didn’t matter anymore that you were a woman because the title was allowed to be inherited by women in case of no male heirs.

“I guess I am,” you looked at the Baron. “But is not Arrakis now under your rule, my Lord?”

“We need you to sign a treaty of capitulation, Duchess Atreides,” he explained while using your new title sarcastically and he pointed at the table with all the papers. “Just a formality.”

You approached it and Feyd followed you like a dog. You furrowed your brow while starting to read.

“Take your time,” Baron mocked you.

Of course you knew that you had to sign it anyway. But you still wanted to know what you were supposed to sign. The treaty included allowing Count Rabban to become the Governor of Arrakis and a few more complicated details about the spice production. There were also points about you basically having no right to anything as the Duchess Atreides – you’d be her by the title only.

“And what about my homeworld? Caladan?” You asked.

“Caladan has been given to Count Hasimir Fenring by the Emperor’s order,” Baron informed you.

“Shame. You shouldn’t have allowed that, my Lord,” you told him. “Caladan was my family’s home for ten thousand years and it still officially belonged to my father while he resided on Arrakis. We lost Caladan then,” you sighed and leaned in to sign the treaty.

“I know your homeworld has sentimental value to you, baroness, but to me it has none. I only care about Arrakis and its spice,” Baron squinted his eyes at you.

“I did not expect you to give up on things so easily, my Lord. The more the better, is it not? Shouldn’t our ambition be unlimited?” You teased him and he remained silent for a short while. You started to worry that you had said too much.

“Either way, I have a gift for you, Duchess Atreides,” Baron waved at one of his advisors and they opened a black box in front of you.

It contained one of your father’s signet rings and you froze at the sight. It felt like a slap on the face.

Your father was really dead, you realised as a wave of shock went through your body. They were giving you his signet ring, most likely taken off of his dead body. You wondered what had happened to the second one but you didn’t want to ask them. Maybe they had no idea about it and you wanted to keep some secrets to yourself, too.

Your hand shook slightly when you took the signet ring out of the box. Of course it was too big to fit your pinky finger but it fit on your thumb. You would ask the jeweller to adjust its size later.

You had to chew on the insides of your cheek not to burst into tears at the feeling of your father’s signet ring on your skin. Not only it made your heart ache from the grief that you were trying so hard to bury deep down but it also made you realise that your dream of becoming The Duchess Atreides had really come true.

And now you wished it hadn’t.

You turned around to face Baron Harkonnen and you kneeled, remembering very well the diplomatic protocol for such situations that you had been taught as a child, thinking it would never be useful.

“I, Duchess (Y/N) of The House Atreides, pledge my allegiance to The House Harkonnen,” you bowed down and waited for his reply.

However, he was taking his time with it and you assumed it was giving him some sort of pleasure to witness you like this – and by you he had to mean all The Atreides. The longer you were kneeling the more angry you were growing. You started to fantasise about murdering him with your own bare hands when he finally spoke up.

“May your service be accepted, Duchess Atreides.”

You tried to stand up but your legs had gotten numb already and you clumsily lost your balance for a moment. It was embarrassing enough but you felt someone’s strong hands catching you and helping you to get up.

Your husband’s hands.

You were shocked with this gesture and so was he because once you were back on your feet, he gave you a very confused look and let go of you as if your touch was poisonous.

“You are both free to go,” Baron announced and you walked out of the room as fast as possible.

When you were already on the corridor, walking side by side with Feyd in the direction of your bedroom, you waited a while to get away enough from his uncle’s throne room. Then you moved rapidly and pushed Feyd against the wall.

He would swiftly grab your wrists and twist them or break your arms, of course he would. But he had never seen it coming even in his wildest dreams that you would do such a thing. So now he was trapped between the wall and your body.

Not that he couldn’t push you away. He would easily do that but he didn’t. He only smirked at you and waited for an explanation of this behaviour.

“Why did you let him make your brother the Governor of Arrakis? It should be ours,” you hissed out.

“I do not have to explain myself to you, pet,” Feyd chuckled. “You’re lucky you’re carrying my heir, otherwise I’d break your little hands and snap your little neck,” he threatened.

“Sure,” you rolled your eyes. “You always say that.”

You saw the sparkle in his eye die off slowly as he realised you were no longer scared of him. Or at least you did not show it because it was impossible not to be scared at all.

Before he would push you away as usual when you confused him, you joined your lips together to kiss him passionately. He kissed you back just as fiercely, as if he tried to show you that it was him who was in charge. You cupped his face and moved away slightly, watching the torment in his eyes as your touch was making him feel deeply uncomfortable.

“Shh, shh,” you cooed softly like you had used to the startled horses back on Caladan, “let me, shh, just let me,” you whispered and you began to caress his cheeks with your thumbs.

And then, just like that, something in him broke and you swore you could see the pain in his eyes. A real and raw emotion, no sneering and no mockery. His muscles relaxed slightly, too. A small victory.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Feyd,” you whispered to him. “I am not like him.”

He had to be aware of his dog-like nature. He needed an owner, he had been raised this way and it was something that would not be easy to change. You just hoped he would choose an owner who was good to him rather than the one who ruled by fear and terror.

“I only want the best for you. For us,” you added carefully. “So, please, tell me why it is your brother the Governor of Arrakis and not you?”

“Because,” he took a deep breath in, “I am needed here now. My reputation amongst the people and nobility of Giedi Prime is not yet satisfying. They do not see me as a worthy successor. But that will change soon,” he promised and the look he gave you made you smirk. It was as if he waited for your approval.

“Good boy,” you praised him. “Isn’t it easier this way? When you behave?” You asked him and caressed his cheeks again.

“What are you doing to me?” He breathed out. “You’re a fucking witch.”

“No, you know I am not,” you chuckled softly. “But the feeling is mutual.”

Feyd furrowed his brows at that.

“I am drawn to you like a shark to a bleeding wound. I might enjoy it a little too much,” you confessed.

“Do you seriously think I am stupid enough not to know that you’re playing some sort of a game with me?” He asked.

“Oh, the thing is, I don’t know anymore what is a game and what is not,” you admitted.

“Na-baron,” a familiar voice interrupted you. It was the medic. “May I have a word?”

You moved away from your husband and he nodded at the medic.

“I am going back to my room,” you informed them and walked away, smiling to yourself and playing with the signet ring on your thumb.

You were laying on your bed in the evening and reading one of the books from the library as Astra and Cara were sitting on the edge and quietly working on the small diamonds attached to one of your dresses that had gotten loose overtime. You noticed that they were looking at you from time to time from the corner of their eyes as if they wanted to tell you something.

“What is it, girls?” You asked with a sigh and lowered the book down to put it on your chest.

“Oh, she’s just excited about the baby, my Lady,” Cara told you.

“You’re as excited as me!” Astra gasped at her. She looked a bit startled, perhaps afraid that you’d find it offensive.

“Come here,” you encouraged them to sit next to you and they abandoned their work to join you as they sat on both sides of you. You took their hands and placed them on your abdomen and watched their faces warm up immediately.

They were such sweet girls, you couldn’t imagine your life without them. Not so long ago you had found out how old they truly were and your heart had shattered to realise they were fifteen years old. You really had thought they were older and closer to you with age.

“I want you to train yourself in infant care,” you told them as they looked up at you. “I won’t trust anyone else with my child.”

“But, na-baroness, you will be given women who are qualified to take care of children, much more than we would ever be…” Cara tried to explain.

“They are… real women, not slaves, I mean,” Astra added. “They will feed the baby, too. We are not able to do that, my Lady.”

“I do not care,” you told them. “I will not let any of them touch my child and I will feed him myself anyway. No offence but I will not let any Harkonnen woman feed my son,” you explained. “I’m sure even your milk is polluted.”

“That is so unusual for noble women to do that, my Lady…” Cara’s eyes widened. “Did your mother feed you, too, na-baroness?”

You didn’t answer at first as her question unlocked a painful memory in your brain. It was unpleasant to remember because the truth was making you feel uncomfortable. Cara began to look scared.

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, my Lady, I shouldn’t have asked…”

“My darling, it is perfectly fine to be curious,” you answered her. “My mother died giving birth to me, remember?” You asked her.

“I’m sorry, how could I forget…” She looked down.

“It was Lady Jessica,” you whispered and they looked at you, confused. You weren’t even sure if they knew exactly who Lady Jessica had been. However, you were mostly talking to yourself at that point as your eyes were focused on the wall in front of you, absently. “I had a wet-nurse at first but when she was able to feed me as her pregnancy progressed, she took over. I still don’t know why she was doing that. Was she feeling sorry for me? An orphaned, unwanted little baby? Did my father ask her to? Was he feeling guilty? Or was she performing her Bene Gesserit witchcraft on me when I was a newborn as she fed me? I don’t know. And I will never find out,” you smiled sadly and looked at Cara again. Then, at Astra. You always wanted to make sure not to favour any of them. “Oh, how I wish you were not my slaves,” you blurted out.

“We are very happy and honoured, my Lady…” Astra started but you shushed her gently.

“No, you are not. You say that but even you know, deep down, that there could be a better life for you,” you caressed her cheek and then you caressed Cara’s.

“This is the best life we could ask for on Giedi Prime and even more, na-baroness,” Cara tried to convince you and your heart broke for them even further.

You watched them go back to the edge of the bed as they picked up the gown and continued to work on the diamonds.

You however were growing impatient. It was odd for Feyd not to come to your chamber in the evening. He would usually ask for you at that time but it was not happening tonight. You stood up and approached the doors leading to his bedroom but when you pushed them, they were locked. You were surprised.

“He locked me out,” you told your girls and they looked up. “What a bastard,” you mumbled to yourself.

You wanted to know the reason behind it and you didn’t want to let him think that you were so easy to get rid of. You left your bedroom to go out on the corridor and you approached the guards who were already staring at you with wide eyes.

“Open the doors to my husband’s chamber,” you ordered them.

“We were told not to, my Lady…” One of them informed you.

“I am your na-baroness and I command you,” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“We were told not to by the na-baron himself. We cannot…” He protested.

“Fine then. I am able to do it myself,” you took a step ahead to push on the doors yourself but the guard stopped you by pointing his blade at you.

Your heart skipped a beat at first but then you remembered that it was him who was in big trouble now – not you.

The doors opened anyway as shirtless Feyd stood in them and witnessed the scene taking place in front of him.

“What are those noises, what is going on here?” He growled at the guard and then looked him up and down with rage in his eyes. “How dare you point your blade at my wife?”

“Sh-she wanted to go inside your room, my Lord na-baron and you… You told us not to… Not to let anyone disturb your peace, my Lord…” The guard took a step back trying to explain himself.

“How dare you point your blade at my wife and my son?” Feyd was walking towards him slowly as he was visibly feasting on the guard’s fear.

You were tempted to watch that little scene and to witness the guard getting his proper punishment but you heard familiar giggles coming from inside of the Feyd’s bedroom. You walked inside and saw his pets on the bed, half-naked and in the middle of a heavy petting session.

He had been keeping them away from you since his fight in the arena after your wedding. You had not seen them since then and they had not shared his bed with him either because you had been occupying it every night. You couldn’t understand why he decided to do this again. It felt humiliating, especially on a day you found out about being pregnant. Especially on a day you thought you broke him a little.

You heard the guard begging and screaming but you did not care at all. Your eyes squinted at the three Harkonnen women and they smirked when they noticed you standing in the middle of the room.

“Master’s seed is growing in you, we’ve been told,” one of them hissed at you. “Good pet,” she praised you with contempt.

“And in nine months our Master will be all ours again,” the other one added. “I will eat your heart when he’s done with you,” she licked her lips in a vulgar manner, showing off her sharp teeth.

You instinctively put your hand on your abdomen to protect your child. That gesture made them sneer.

Feyd walked back inside the room as the heavy doors closed behind him. You gave him a look of disappointment.

“Get out,” he ordered.

You weren’t sure if he had been talking to you or them. But as his wife, you remained in one place and waited for his next move. However, the three pets remained in their positions as well. The atmosphere was tense. It was you or them and for a little while you really got scared that you’d lose this battle.

“I told you to get out!” He yelled at them and they startled. You had never seen him being so angry at his darlings. They gave you a very hateful look but they ran out of the room as fast as possible.

“How dare you bring your whores to this bed you share with me every night?!” You approached him when you were left alone as you pushed him fiercely. “I will not lay here again as long as I can feel their stench in the air.”

“Good,” he told you angrily and you gasped at that. What could he possibly mean…? Perhaps he didn’t find you attractive now when you were carrying a child. That could be an explanation. “You have to stay away from me,” he added.

“What are you talking about?” You dared to cup his face and he tried to push you away but your grip remained strong. “Look at me, talk to me,” you commanded.

“I can’t break you,” he finally gave up as he laid his eyes on you. “The medic said I have to stop hurting you when you’re carrying my son.”

You swore you could hear a hint of worry in his voice. It was almost delicious; you wanted to savour the feeling.

“Then don’t hurt me,” you chuckled at him.

“This is all I know,” he replied and grabbed your wrists to push you away but he did it… gently.

You watched him turn his back on you and approach the balcony door to walk away as far as possible from you. He was broken, you thought. Well, almost. He was on the edge and he needed a little push. Just a little.

“Feyd-Rautha,” you addressed him in a harsh tone and he turned around to look at you, confused. “Come to me,” you commanded.

After a long while of silence and hesitation, slowly and carefully he began to walk towards you. You would never say that he was scared because you doubted such a word even existed in his dictionary. But he did not look as confident as usual either. When he stood in front of you like that, you suddenly realised how beautiful he was.

You had never expected to admit such a thing but he truly was stunning. Your husband was a handsome man with beautiful facial features and smooth skin on his muscular body. The moonlight creeping inside the room through the balcony door and the narrow windows was making him look even more mysterious and alluring.

You put your hands on his shoulders and then you pushed him down. Surprisingly, he gave in much more eagerly than you’d expect him to. In no time he was on his knees for you.

Oh, how exciting it was. But also… sad. You wished you could take away all the damage that had been done to him but you could not. You could only use it for your own advantage.

However, there was a new feeling blooming inside your heart. And it was not pity, it was not compassion. It was some sort of affection – disgusting, poisonous, unwanted and repulsive. You did not want to feel it but it was there and you assumed he was suffering from the same form of illness when it came to you.

“What did you do to this guard, Feyd-Rautha?” You asked him, sternly,

“I killed him,” he confessed and you hummed to yourself as you nodded.

“Would you kill for me again?” You raised an eyebrow at him and he looked up to meet your gaze.

“Any time, my Lady,” he nodded.

Completely broken. Utterly shattered. In thousands of pieces.

You smiled at him gently as you placed your hands on the back of his head softly and pressed his face to your womb. After a short while, Feyd tugged on your nightgown and his body relaxed.

A large victory.

But for some reason you didn’t feel as proud of yourself as you expected to. For some reason you just wanted to crouch down in front of him and to comfort him, to kiss him, to hold him. You shook off that feeling quickly.

“You see…?” You asked him after a while and he looked up again. His beautiful eyes had never been that confused before. “You don’t always break things,” you pointed out and caressed his head lightly.

MASTERLIST

#feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #lilysfiction #austin butler x reader #tttw

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