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sunriseseance · 4 years

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please,,, even if you dont answer this publicly i wanna know your In Depth Thoughts on fanon klaus and the issues w him bc i also have issues w fanon klaus but i cant put it in words

This got SO LONG, so I hope you meant it when you said you wanted in depth! Holy shit I sorta lost my mind on this.

In my early days as a bear-poker in this fandom, I described fanon!Klaus as that person who gets resurrected in a horror movie and comes back different. As an audience member, I can tell he's wrong, but nobody interacting with him directly seems to know this. I've also talked a little bit about Klaus and intelligence before, which plays into any discussion about fanon!Klaus, but I'll be more specific here. Before I get started, I wanna say that fandom is a fun space and I don't think anyone is *bad* for creating/enjoying fanon!Klaus, especially not for the third reason I lay out. I just think he's awful, and has some harmful roots that I doubt the people writing him even know about on a conscious level.

Okay, let's get into this. Because I'm me and Wittgenstein's early work that he later disagreed with has changed my entire way of interacting with the world, I'm gonna define my terms. Let's talk about what fanon!Klaus is LIKE before we talk about why I REALLY DON'T LIKE HIM. Fanon!Klaus is a happy, stupid, sweet, childish, bubbly, luminous free spirit. He wears bubblegum pink skirts and he cries when Diego eats his cookies. He doesn't know what numbers are, he can't count, he can't walk and chew gum, he thinks that Africa is a country, he forgets that homophobia exists, he doesn't know that drugs are bad for him, the list goes on (These are all real examples. Can you tell what part of fanon annoys me the most?). He cries at the drop of a hat, and doesn't understand his place in the family. He'd move heaven and earth to help the people around him, and he'd never be mean to anyone but Luther (and even then just barely) He constantly needs attention, supervision, etc. He makes jokes about modern memes and listens exclusively to pop music. He's really damaged but it's only because nobody Took Care Of Him and he needs someone to Rescue Him.

Canon Klaus is mean, and quick, and sharp, and miserable, and hiding, and funny because you're laughing WITH him, and an old soul, and a goth, and chronically apathetic, and selfish, and so fucking smart, and acutely aware of just how much he matters to other people. He makes rape jokes, he figures out how to get info on the eye while high out of his mind, he speaks like 10 languages, he listens to Nina Simone, he uses people's inherent fear of the dead to buy himself time, he finds the perfect story within the dead to cause a rift, he tells Luther TO HIS FACE that he doesn't care if the world ends. Klaus is a fascinating study in queer trauma, and robbing him of these traits is a complete disservice to yourself AND the character.

I say this often about fanon!Klaus, but WHO IS THIS??? Like…. Okay, if I gave you this list and you didn't know it was about Klaus, would you think it was? I think he's literally unrecognizable. He's not any of the things I know or love about Klaus. He's nobody to me, except a nuisance wearing the same skin suit and clogging the tags. He is also, weirdly, the most popular character in the entire fandom. I wanna think about why, and I have 3 theories that I think can all be true separately or simultaneously instance to instance.

First, fanon!Klaus exists because of internalized homophobia, classism, and anti-addict rhetoric. I think that on some level people don't believe addicts, feminine queer men, or homeless people are capable of intelligence. I think people see Klaus's canonical positive traits and they sort of throw them out the window because they don't make sense with their world view. A queer addict is a helpless tragedy, and he's someone that needs rescuing by Kind Strong Dave. A queer addict can't be smart, because then he wouldn't be an addict. A queer addict can't be wily, or interesting, because then he wouldn't be an addict. Fandom sees a feminine queer mlm and knows he should be in a sparkly bubblegum pink skirt, and saying "dahling" or "wig" or whatever else all the time. They know he should be bashful and submissive and always falling into the arms of Kind Strong Dave who protects him from Evil. They also know he should really, really like Britney Spears, and not give a shit about Nina Simone.

Second, fanon!Klaus exists because people want to excuse negative behavior in their favorite characters. Klaus is selfish and mean and apathetic. He just is. These are flaws that haunt him, and define a lot of his interactions. These are, also, pretty tough flaws to excuse (which… Hey…. I have a solution for that). I think that fanon Klaus, who just doesn't GET that he's being mean, and is too stupid not to become an addict (I don't think addiction is a flaw, but I do think that addiction plays into this), and is too out of touch and childish to understand that he shouldn't just fucking leave, comes from a place of wanting Klaus to be a good person who does good things. I'm sorry, but he isn't. Not always. I think the impulse to make him constantly sweet and constantly stupid comes from wanting Klaus's actions to be fundamentally excusable. He can't help it! He's just too much of a useless twink to know that it's bad to lie! (also, side note, fanon!Ben comes from this side of fanon!Klaus. In canon, Klaus is self destructing on purpose and Ben's presence helps…. Maybe, possibly, twice. In fanon, Klaus is just stupid and he needs a babysitter and that is Ben, the motiveless, endlessly loving but Exhausted braincell holder. This is fucked up on many levels. Ben is an asshole, and we all need to get used to that idea quick).

The third and final reason is that fanon!Klaus is… More fun, in the traditional sense of the word. Fanon!Klaus seems like he comes from a very emotional romcom or sitcom or something. He's like a barbie. He's fun to play dress-up with. He's fun to make incorrect quotes about. He's fun to write about, especially when it's about his siblings herding him or coddling him. Good ol' useless, loveable Klaus. I think this is partially because Klaus is a pretty fucking heavy character. He's a traumatized homeless queer drug addict, and that's sort of hard to make jokey fandom content about. Not impossible, I don't think, but not easy. This isn't to say that angsty fandom content isn't guilty of fanon!Klaus, though. It absolutely is. Often when Klaus willingly shares his feelings, or cries in front of someone, or asks for help for something more intense than tying him to a chair, it's fanon!Klaus. Hell, any time he GETS rescued it's teetering into that territory. He's still completely devoid of all of the grit and intrigue of canon, but he's fun to write about, and fun to project onto, and fun to rescue. He's also EASIER to write. People know that Klaus is a funny character, they know they laugh when he's on screen, but it is WAY harder to write a character you're laughing with than it is to write a character you're laughing at. It's WAY easier to write a character who moves your angst plot on by asking for help, or necessitating rescuing, than it is to work out how these things would happen without initiation. I get it, and in spite of the length of this, I don't think it's the end of the world.

I guess as I close this out, I would remind everyone that Klaus is smart, and mean, and over 30 years old. He's not a babe in the woods, or a damsel in distress, or a useless silly junkie twink. I promise that the real Klaus is worth the time and effort it takes to engage with him.

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #Answered #Um #Fandom criticism #Rape cw

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glitxhwayventeen · 3 years

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We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow

Minghao: Chapter 3 (Beautifully Unfinished)

Characters: Minghao x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, blood mentions, runaways, domestic violence (I mean not really because she doesn’t really want to hurt him she’s just sad and lashing out), sleep seducing (If that’s a thing?), sleep/entranced fucking, blood mentions, death mentions, suggestive/slight smutty content, violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Have any of y’all seen American Horror Story Roanoke? Well, that’s where I got the inspiration for this chapter. You didn’t ACTUALLY think I’d have a story with a fully happy couple with no tragedies or drama did you? But, if you want a song to listen to, I recommend Beautifully Unfinished by Ella Henderson and I recommend listening to it started at the point where they go to sleep. It’s perfect for the mood the Main Character’s feeling

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀

We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow Master List

Chapter 3: Beautifully Unfinished

It had been a few days since the Siren incident. You hadn’t heard anything since. So, of course like the fucking dumbasses you all were, you all began to forget about it and let your guards down. You all carried on like everything was normal, but everything was far from it.

You had all a long day of shopping at the market. You really just wanted to go back home and fall asleep to recover some of your energy. But when you got back, you had bigger things to worry about.

See, both Junhui and Minghao were in rut. Typically, before you came along, their ruts were always at the same time so they both… helped each other out a bit until it passed. But now that you were in the picture, Minghao had you to help him get through it. It left Jun a mess, he wasn’t upset that he didn’t have anyone to help him out or anything, he was glad Hao had finally found you. But he was struggling to… keep himself in check. And while the other wolves just kept their respective mates away from him during his rut, Minghao didn’t really see the point of trying to keep you away from him. You were just as strong as him after all, you could handle yourself and he knew you’d never do anything with him, some part of him always knew that.

But Hao was acting… off. Like even more so than he usually did. Typically, your mate was very reserved and mostly just kept to himself when the others were around and he’d be personable with you behind closed doors. Lately though, he’d been more distant, even with you. Which everyone found odd. Especially during his rut. He should only want you around him during it, but he hadn’t touched you since that day. It confused you a great deal. It was like he was a different person, half the time when you woke up now, he was already gone from bed.

Part of you attributed it to his mating season, but you were still worried about him. He was much more aggressive than usual. Again, that could’ve just been attributed to his sudden hormone change. But when Jun had got a little too close to you, he snapped.

You were in the kitchen with Jun just cleaning up after dinner, everyone took turns and it was now the both of yours. You didn’t mind, you actually liked cleaning and helping out. It made you feel like you were contributing to the pack. Jun however, was getting very bored and very distracted by you.

He couldn’t help it, you were a very attractive girl and he was going through mating season. He was trying his best to maintain his control. He’d NEVER actually act on his need to mate with you of all people, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still suggestively flirt with you. It was just in his nature at the moment. You both knew that, so you didn’t particularly care.

While scrubbing the dishes, he blew some soapy bubbles at you playfully, so you of course blew some right back at him. It soon turned into an all out bubble fight and ended up with the both of your shirts soaked. You had been wearing a pretty thin T-Shirt and the water had made it start to stick to your bra. Junhui realized this and at first, he tried not to stare. He really did try not to. But, eventually his hormones took over and he caught a glimpse and made a stupid joke about how much better you’d probably look with your shirt off. Again, you just brushed it off and snorted a laugh, because you knew he didn’t mean any harm in it.

But Minghao, who had been sitting on the couch in the living room that was visible from the kitchen, had seen and heard the whole thing and darted to the kitchen. He quickly shoved the older wolf away from you and you watched as his yellow eyes turned red.

“Dont ever fucking speak to her like that again.” He snarled at his brother, leaving you both momentarily stunned.

“Hao, look I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m going through rut and you know how I get and the dumb shit I say-” Junhui tried to defend himself calmly, thinking that Minghao would forgive him if he apologized for his words. Boy, was he wrong.

“I don’t give a shit. Don’t fucking say shit like that to MY mate ever again!” Minghao’s breathing was becoming unstable due to his anger.

“She’s MINE. Don’t try it again.” He growled, grabbing his brother by the collar of his shirt.

“God would you calm down. I’d never try anything with your mate Hao. It was a joke. Besides, she could use some action…” Jun trailed, implying that the older wolf hadn’t slept with you in some time.

“Even if it’s just a dumb joke, seems like it’s the closest thing she’s getting to sex anytime soon.” He chuckled darkly, his testosterone started to soar from the annoyance that was bubbling inside of him at his brother’s possessiveness.

“I’ll fucking kill you.” Minghao all but screamed, shifting right there in the kitchen and pouncing on Jun.

The rest of the pack heard the whole commotion from upstairs and knew that it wasn’t gonna end well. So, by the time Minghao had phased, five boys were already down the stairs pushing him off of Jun and shoving him outside before he could do any long term damage. You just stood there in complete shock. He was always so good at controlling his emotions, even during rut according to the other boys. What the actual FUCK was his problem?

“Hao, what the hell was that?” You shouted at your mate, who seemed completely blindsided by the situation.

“What was what (Y/N)?” He sighed, running his hand through his hair while pushing the sheets and comforter of your bed over so he could get on the mattress.

“You know what Hao. What the hell did you attack Jun for? He’s one of your best friends and you went and wolfed out on him over a dumbass joke?” You screeched while throwing your hands on your hips and tipping your head to the side to show your frustration.

“You’re my mate. He shouldn’t say shit like that to you. That’s my job. Plus I’m going through rut, he should’ve know better.” Minghao just shrugged before he laid down with his hands behind his head on the pillow underneath him.

“Oh rut huh? Is that what you’re gonna blame it on? Could’ve fucking fooled me” you scoffed, laying down on your side of the bed, turned away from him.

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?” He questioned, pulling you to lay flat on your back so he could see your face.

“It means you hardly act like you’re going through rut right now. You’re supposed to be a sex monster and all needy and whiney and shit. But the only reason I’d believe you were in rut right now would be your anger. You haven’t touched me in almost a week but this is your first time going through rut with a mate. You should be completely insatiable right now but you aren’t. So using that as an excuse really doesn’t fucking cut it Hao.” You declared, rolling your eyes at him.

“So you’re pissed because I haven’t fucked you?” He laughed dryly as he threw his head back in the process.

“No. I’m not mad you haven’t had sex with me Hao. I’m upset because you’re acting weird and you won’t tell me what’s wrong or what I’ve done.” You say softly while looking down to avoid his sharp gaze.

Minghao felt a twitch in his heart. He had made you sad and he wasn’t even sure why himself. He never wanted you to be upset with him or yourself. He let out a loud sigh.

“I’m- I’m sorry baby. It’s not you. Or anyone for that matter. I’ve just been struggling. I don’t even know why. I just wake up and feel completely exhausted, then I get up and get angry because I don’t want anyone around you, but Then again I also don’t feel the need to be pounding you into the mattress right now. I’m just… I’m just a mess and I’m not sure what’s happening with me. I’ll work on it.” He stroked your cheek causing you to look into his eyes with your watery ones.

“Do you promise?” You whispered aloud, blinking back any tears that ha began to form and looking up at him sweetly.

“I promise, I’ll try to get my shit together.” He assured you, pecking the tip of your nose to seal the deal.

“And that you’ll actually be here when I wake up tomorrow?” You whimpered while bringing your own hand up to hold the one he had resting on your face.

“Yes baby, I promise.” He rested his forehead against yours before connecting your lips to his for a tender kiss.

“Good,” you say, breaking the kiss after a few seconds to regain some air, “now cuddle me so I can sleep.” You giggled and began situating yourself in his arms.

“With pleasure my love” He smiled, holding you to him like his life depended on it.

You awoke in the middle of the night to an angelic humming sound. You fluttered your eyes a bit before you turned in your spot. You reached for you mate and quickly realized he wasn’t next to you anymore. You darted up in bed immediately. You had a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You had to find him.

So you got out of bed, throwing one of his large sweaters over your head before you went to sniff him out. His scent lead you outside into the dark forest, the sound had also been coming from the same way. Wolves could see almost just as good at night as they could during the daytime thankfully, otherwise you surely would’ve ended up breaking something as you made your way through the woods. His scent was getting stronger, so was the humming. You went deeper and deeper into the woods before you saw some smog floating just above the ground.

Your mate’s scent lead you further into the smog and closer to the song. You soon came upon a small clearing, a dull light had begun to rise from within the tree branches. You knew he was there. And you knew he wasn’t alone. Your heart was now pounding out of your chest. Fuck.

You pushed past the last of the trees and bushes before you found yourself in the middle of the clearing. What you saw made you sick to your stomach.

It was Minghao, he had his sleep pants pulled down slightly and had a woman’s legs wrapped around his waist. From the angle you had, you could see that the beautiful blonde woman he was with was laying on a tree stump as he plowed into her, her melodious song still drifting through the air. Tears sprung to your eyes and you fell to your knees.

“Minghao?” You sobbed loud enough for the both of them to hear as you began all but hyperventilating on the ground.

It all made sense now: Why he didn’t want to be with you during rut, he had her. Why he was so tired, he was up all night with her. Why he was always gone when you woke up, he was with her. He was fucking a siren behind your back and you were too stupid to even realize it.

Hearing his mate sound so broken while crying out his name helped shake him out of his trance. It was his instinct to always comfort you, even if he was in a dead sleep, he’d wake up to make sure you were alright. His movements halted and he blinked his eyes continuously, trying to force himself awake so that he could get a better gist of his surroundings.

He could see the trees and brush all around him, he could see the moonlight glistening in the sky above him. But why was he outside? And why were you crying for him?

That’s when he found himself deep inside another woman, who was staring back at him fondly and singing, raising her hand up to his face to try and lure him back to her. He knew what he was doing with the woman was wrong, but her song was so enchanting, he almost kept going with his actions.

But he could hear you bawling your eyes out not too far away from him. It brought him to his senses and he quickly withdrew from the woman, pushing her away and growling at her, warning her to stay away from him. She just sat up and looked at him with a smirk on her face.

“What the fuck??” Was all he could muster out, pulling you out of sobbing into your hands to look up at him.

You sniffled, catching his attention and making him attempt to come over to your aid, it was his instinct as your mate to put you first after all. Which only made you back up with a scowl on your face. He hadn’t even… pulled up his pants yet. How DARE he come near you with himself still exposed after he had been inside another woman?

Once he realized why you were inching away from him after a small gust of air hit him, he turned around quickly and positioned himself back into his sweats.

The Siren looked over at both your torn expressions with her blood red eyes and laughed, amused by the predicament that she had purposely created.

“Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now huh?” She seductively said, finally sitting all the way up and standing on her two heeled feet.

She started getting closer to Minghao, who snarled at her to stay away from him. She just darkly chuckled.

“Oh relax baby. We had quite a bit of fun these last few days. I already got what I wanted from you so I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore…” she tsked while rubbing over her stomach tenderly, indicating that she already had fertilized eggs she would be laying soon.

“I just kept coming back for more. You were the best I’ve ever had and expecting just makes me so… horny sometimes, I’m not really sure why, so I kept going with it and kept coming back to you.”

You wanted to throw up. You wanted to rip her to shreds. You wanted to beat Minghao to death. You wanted to run away as fast as you could. But you were frozen, too traumatized by the whole situation to even move. You just went back to crying silently.

“I wouldn’t do that. I couldn’t! I have a mate!” He yelled at her, in complete disbelief of the entire situation.

He loved you, more than life itself. Why would he risk what he had with you to be with her? She was lying. She HAD to have been lying… right?

“Yes, you would. Yes, you could. Yes, you did. Mates don’t really matter when it comes to sex. Me and you- We’re both just primal beings, we want to reproduce. You know, I almost moved on to the next town, but then I saw you. I could sense your need to procreate. And now, thanks to you and your willingness, I’m going to.” She devilishly smiled as she came up and began running her hand through his hair.

He jerked his head away and gritted his teeth, eyes already spotting red in anger at the woman.

“Dont fucking touch me!” He lowly let out, his fingers curling into fists and his knuckles turning white from the pressure of how tight his hand was closing.

He was yours. How dare she fucking touch him? Especially when you were right there? Who the fuck did she think she was?

“Why not baby? You’ve already touched me. And now, your mate knows it too.” The Siren fake pouted, swaying her hips from side to side.

“Fuck you! Don’t call me that! I didn’t know what I was doing!” He declared as his claws started to elongate due to the woman’s lack of respect for the both of you.

“Of course you did. My song has you follow me sure. But It doesn’t MAKE you want to fuck me. Sure you may have thought it was a dream, but you still kept coming back. Pun intended.” She taunted in your direction, clearly trying to get under your skin. Of course, it was working.

“You didn’t tell her about the ‘dreams’ you were having either. You wanted it to be a secret. You wanted THIS to be kept a secret. You didn’t want to get caught so we could keep going because you loved it so much. She must not be taking care of your needs too well…” She smirked at you while running her finger up and down his chest, making you cry even harder at her words.

Was it true? Did he really know what he was doing? Did he… want her? More than he wanted you? Did he get with a siren because his instincts told him it was time to mate and he knew you weren’t ready to have a child? Were you really not enough for your own fucking mate?

“Stop fucking talking!” He shouted at the woman as he pushed her back after hearing your sobs worsen at her continuous talking.

“Now Now Minghao. Is that any way to speak to the mother of your children?” She tilted her head and looked at him as if she won, waltzing her way backwards so he could get a better view of her.

She was pregnant. Pregnant with his offspring. The thought made some part of you break, a part that you had already thought broken after having caught them. The part of you that craved him was now… damaged? It felt like there was a hole in the part of you that could sense him, you weren’t sure how to explain it. You just knew that it hurt like hell and you wanted it to stop.

You thought he would care, hell, even he thought he probably should’ve cared a little, but honestly, He didn’t give a shit. She wasn’t really human. THEY wouldn’t be human. She was soulless. THEY would be soulless too. They were evil and he couldn’t care less about what happened to manipulative dark creatures. Those THINGS wouldn’t really be his. They would be hers. They would be sirens that preyed on innocent people the same way she did. She just used him to create more demons.

He had a mate. A mate he loved more than anything. He had you, at least he was still hoping he did. He wanted you to have his children. He wanted to watch your belly grow and wanted to hold your hand while you had his babies. He wanted to raise them to be loving happy good people just like you were.

But here you were, crying over something this evil… thing had started. He refused to allow her to speak anymore, you didn’t deserve to have to sit here and listen to her lies and torments. You didn’t deserve and of this.

“You’re talking about them like they’d be real children, like they’d be real people. They wouldn’t be. They would be pure evil. Just like you. None of you are human.” Minghao sneered, shoving her to the ground in anger and allowing his claws to fully come out. You watched as he got closer to her and you could hear his heart rate excel in furry.

“You hurt my mate. You’ve ruined everything. I’ll fucking kill you for what you’ve done!” He said, tears burning at his eyes as he knew full well things would probably never be the same with you ever again.

She just chuckled at his threat. She figured he wouldn’t let her live when they got caught, but she was glad it all happened. Sirens weren’t afraid of death, their lack of souls made it impossible for them to really be remotely remorseful or human. But at least now, she made you hate him. At least she caused the havoc she craved so deeply on yet another unsuspecting couple. She had no regrets.

You had passed out from exhaustion. Shedding so many tears really took a lot out of you. You thought that you had dreamed it all for a second. God, you hoped it was all just a dream. But, when you awoke to a very tired and worn out looking Minghao sitting next to you holding your hand, you knew it wasn’t. He had blood on his cheeks and on his sweats, he must’ve made good on his promise to kill the sadistic creature that ruined your lives.

Tears started streaming down your cheeks again at the remembrance of the woman, you pulled you hand away from his in disgust. It made his heart ache to think about everything that had happened. That he was now trying to touch you with the hands he touched her with. You couldn’t believe him. You didn’t want to even look at him.

“(Y/N), please. Let me explain.” He pleaded, pulling your hand back to his and placing a chaste kiss to it.

“FUCK YOU!”

You started to roar from the hurt he caused you. He wanted to help you, he couldn’t just have you sit there crying and not at least try to comfort you. He brought your weakened form into his chest and shushed you. You began hitting him with what little energy and strength you had. He just let you, knowing full well you couldn’t really harm him, even if you wanted to hurt him the way you were hurting. You still loved him. And you fucking hated yourself for it.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?”

You smacking his body again and again while he just rubbed your back in response, tears threatening to spill from his own eyes. You were so mad. You wanted to kill him. He could see it written all over your face. The absolute devastation and betrayal had turned all your love for him into bitterness. How could it not? You trusted him and he turned around and slapped you in the face with the faith and trust you had given him.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!?”

You held your eyes shut as you continued pounding at his chest, trying to hit as much of his skin as you could so you could express the pain you felt inside. Feeling all the heartache hit you like a bullet straight through your heart. Angry tears had started falling from your eyes at a gut wrenching pace.

“I HATE YOU!”

You sobbed as you finally stopped hitting him and just went back to burying you head in his torso to vent out all your frustration and anger. Why did this have to happen?

“I fucking hate you.”

You blubbered, bringing your hands to your eyes in an attempt to muffle your howls of agony. You were sure by this point you had woken up the rest of the pack with your screams, but you didn’t care. All you could think about was the stinging feeling in your chest. How could he do this to you? How could he be so disloyal when all you had ever done was love him with your whole soul?

“I know.” He stated, kissing the top of your head as tears began to fall from his eyes and onto you.

You hated how you wanted nothing more than to cry all your pain away into his chest. You hated that you still craved his skin touching yours. You hated that his voice brought you so much comfort and security. You wanted to hate him, but you couldn’t. Even if he did what he did, he was still your mate.

Another Author’s Note: Before anyone comes for me and says shit about me having him “kill a pregnant woman” please actually READ the siren description. You’ll see that they aren’t people. They’re literally demons. She would’ve hatched ACTUAL DEMONS, even if they looked human, they wouldn’t ACTUALLY be. So he didn’t really kill anything but evil creatures which happens all the time in these aus. Also, I made this where, while he doesn’t necessarily know what he’s doing while he’s… well you know, doing her, he does have to be okay with it deep down for the sirens song to work. Meaning some part of him was actually complicit with it. It’s complicated. I’ll explain better during his next chapter. It just felt like a “every bitch and their mother’s gonna cheat” kinda day you know? But yeah, hope you guys enjoyed the third chapter of the day!

(Updated 9/24)

#seventeen #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt au #seventeen x reader #minghao #svt minghao #the8 #seventeen myungho #seventeen minghao

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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fairycosmos · 4 years

Note

chloe what do you do when you feel really suicidal? but like not like before- but NOW that you are grieving such a painful loss? dont need to answer but i read your a. to the anon that felt trapped and like they couldnt leave now bc their sibling died too and like you and that anon i feel the same. im so so suicidal chloe. i cry every day and night and i feel despertate but my parents just lost their child so. how do you cope... as much as its possible. what do we do? fuck.

dude i am so sorry you're in the same position as me and you are going to hate me for saying it but there is no satisfactory answer 😔 it's a cruel joke. we're in the worst pain we've ever been in, and our instinct is to want to make that stop. but we can't because now we're obligated to stay alive, where all the hurt is, because we're one of the only ones left. and we dont want to cause more of this feeling by ending it all. it's like a contract you didn't agree to and are now trapped in for the foreseeable. grief is the absolute heaviest thing a person can carry, it's a fucking nightmare. it doesn't make any sense, it doesn't have a cure and it's disorienting as fuck. it's ok to be exhausted by it. reality has been irreparably worsened and it's an absolute tragedy, it's completely unfair. personally i'm more suicidal than i've ever been, but like you, i know i'm not going to do anything. and in moments of great pain, where i want to act on those thoughts, i find myself coming back to that fact. i watch the idea of suicide run its course through my head and then i acknowledge the reality of things, that i can't leave. that it doesn't matter how sad i am and how tired i am, because i'm still here, and processing these emotions is a part of that. the urge to kill myself is there, but the actual act of suicide has never been less of an option than it is right now. so i can feel whatever i need to feel, but there's no point leaning into it or daydreaming about it. because it's not going to happen. sometimes i'm screaming and crying to myself in absolute agony while this is all going on, and sometimes i'm just sitting staring at my phone, numb. the desperation is very real, and i understand that. but it is not as urgent as it feels in the moment. no matter how many times i think i'm at my limit, i know that there's going to be tomorrow. and at the moment that sounds like a really bad thing. but i know that by waking up my parents aren't getting a call saying i'm dead, which for now is kind of the whole point. i am living to minimize their trauma, i am living for them, and an optimist would have hope that that could keep me alive long enough until i get to the point where i can eventually live for myself again. i could definitely see that for your future, even if you can't. the thing is you don't have to know what to do and you dont have to look for ways to fill the void that has been left behind by your sibling. you just have to learn to exist alongside it, and i do mean just exist. as awful as it is. waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, crying and crying and crying. that is good enough. i know it doesn't feel like much of a life, but. it's the short term answer, or so it seems to me. another thing i remind myself of is how it all comes in waves. waves are the nature of both grief, and strong suicidal urges. maybe they're always running in the background, but the moments of pure despair where you feel like you're bursting at the seams, they're so strong and harsh that they flare out faster than you realize. and they feel unbearable, and i know those moments are very frequent when you're in our position, but it's good to remember that the intensity of their nature makes them temporary. especially if the grief is fresh, every little thing triggers an avalanche of hopelessness. but some part of me believes these experiences will either a. become less persistent with time or b. become a part of us we learn how to navigate. at the moment, the simple act of being completely broken by these episodes means you're surviving them. i think it's not a matter of knowing how to cope, but knowing that if you're here to ask these questions - what do i do, how do i go on, etc - then that is proof you have been coping. and it probably doesn't feel like you have been. i think there's a common misconception that coping is thriving, letting go, having positive memories. and sure that's a part of it. but there is a lot of darkness and absolute horror to work through before that. additionally, there is no rule book on how exactly to work through it. theres just time, experience, learning what works for you and hanging on. i'm trying to hold my own hand through it, i'm trying to look at the present moment i'm in and just think about what i need at that very second. not what i'm going to do tomorrow, not what i should've done yesterday, but what i have to do right now to make it through. a lot of the time the answer is nothing, and i just sit and stare or cry, because like i said, ultimately nothing can fix it. theres no epiphany that can change what happened.

as far as practical things you can to do combat suicidal thoughts goes, i have a few suggestions that i really hope you consider as viable choices: talk to your doctor/therapist - idk where you live or what your financial situation is like, but if it's at all an option i would really urge you to seek professional help. at least let your GP know what you're dealing with so maybe they can refer you to a therapist, or give you some mental health resources. grief counselling is also a step in the right direction. having someone to talk to and implementing positive coping mechanisms into your day to day life, even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do, can work wonders. understanding your own suicidal thoughts, why you react the way you do and what you can do about it, can really come in handy when you're breaking down. it's ok to reach out. it's ok to visit different counsellors until you find one that fits you. it's ok to treat your emotional turmoil as seriously as you'd treat any physical disease. there is always support and treatment options available in some form, and it is always worth looking into.

call a (grief or suicide) hotline - i've had the hotline number open in my browser for days. if you are in a moment of crisis, it can absolutely help to have someone talk you through your emotions, listen to your pain, and then give you some gentle recommendations as to what you should do next or where to go from here. you don't have to tell them your name, you don't have to say anything you don't want to say. you're in control of the call and they care about keeping you going. you're not alone. theres also online grief support groups - i'm in a sibling loss group on fb. it's absolutely crazy how many people are in this position.

talk to your parents/family/friends - i know saying 'this is a tough one' is a giant understatement. idk if it's the same for you, but i've been isolating to cope and i don't want to tell anyone what i'm thinking because they're already having such a hard time grieving my sister. but if there's anyone you trust, i just want you to know it's alright to lean on them. it's up to you how much you open up, but the urge to keep to yourself leads nowhere. those around you can relate (to an extent) with your grief, and sharing it, talking about memories and crying together - it's fucking awful, god it's the worst thing ever, but it's necessary. and i don't want to say it helps, but a shared burden is always better than trying to shoulder it alone. you deserve to be listened to and supported. and if you think you're being an inconvenience to your loved ones, that's your inner self hatred talking. they would likely rather be there for you when you need it, than have you harm yourself because you kept it all pent up. it's a lot easier said than done, but it's important to keep in mind that it's an option.

try to create a safe space - try to remove things from your living space you could use to harm yourself with, and make the environment as comforting as possible. refer back to safe coping mechanisms/ distractions that have worked in the past - this can be as simple as going for a walk, watching stupid shit on your phone, meditation, having a crying session, writing to your sibling or just about how you feel in general. these are not suggestions that will solve anything or cure mental illness by any stretch of the imagination. they just get you out of your head. that can really make a difference.

create a crisis plan and learn what triggers you - this is a bit of a process but that's alright. being able to identify what sets you off, and being able to recognize your own toxic thinking patterns/behaviours, is the first step towards combatting them. another idea is, if you do end up talking to a loved one or a mental health professional, come up with a plan with them regarding what they should do when you're suicidal and your judgement is impaired. you can even start by just making one for yourself, like writing down a few suggestions as to what you should do when you're in a crisis, what your other options besides suicide are.

i think that's all i've got right now. i'm sorry this got so long, especially when i know nothing truly helps. i just know what it's like having all this useless life in front of you that you're going to have to fight through without the one person who always should've been there. i keep thinking about what she'd say to me if she could see me, and i know she'd be livid if i threw my life away, but. that doesn't change the fact that she didn't get to live hers, and that i miss her so so much it aches. i keep coming back to the idea that our relationship will continue to grow beyond death. i can still talk to her, reminisce with her, understand her, love her. so much of this reality was shaped by her. it's not the same as when she was here, but it's not total absence either. anyway, i'm so so sorry for your loss and i hope you can just focus on taking care of yourself, love. because your life still has so much worth and you deserve to see your own future even if you cant stand the thought. moments of happiness and peace are still 100% possible. it's just never going to feel like it did before. and it's ok if you spend the rest of your life struggling to come to terms with that fact, because at least you got to live the rest of your life. i'm sending so much love to you and i'll be here if you need a friend. one day at a time.

*no pressure to read all this you can just refer back to it whenever you feel the need

#anon #tw suicide #long post #sorry i dont shut up💖 this 1 hurt

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memoriashell · 3 years

Text

with age comes wisdom ( or at the very least, entirely unneccessary celebrations )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), Syo / Komaru, Warriors of Hope

crossposted on ao3

Notes: happy @tokomaruweek week everyone!! i love these funky wlw so i am going to try and have some stuff up this week, but i probably won’t manage to do the whole week / i'll go back to do the ones i miss afterwards? we’ll see.

for today i decided to combine the birthdays + warriors of hope prompts.

i’m also just ignoring canon’s timeline bc god knows i did not want to figure out that bs sorry dr3 ily but i dont love you that much just know it is somewhere post sdr2 / pre dr3 probably?

i also use they/them for syo ( nonbinary hc ) and while there aren’t any specific trauma mentions, given the group of characters this revolves around, there’s refrences to the fact they have shit lives. and some lighthearted murder jokes and self-deprication?

Summary: nothing says happy birthday quite like babysitting her ( favorite ) group of brats

It’s just her luck that this would happen— a coincidence for sure, but that doesn’t make Touko any happier about the whole thing.

This is the situation: they don’t usually see the ( former ) Warriors of Hope much. The kids stay on their side of Towa, and her and Komaru tend to stick closer to the adults. The adults are the ones that need to be kept under supervision, in her opinion. Not that the kids are blameless, but is there much reasoning with brainwashed kids? No. Of course not. Are the adults also practically brainwashed and hard to reason with. Yes. Would this all be easier if Future Foundation was involved? Yes. Yes it would, but for obvious reasons they are not ( they have all agreed to omit some information from public record for the sake of those involved, and right now Naegi’s stunt with the Remnants have Future Foundation’s attention away from them ).

Sometimes Komaru takes some of the things that they get over to the kids because things are rough enough as it is, and Syo will go with her because they can keep the Monokuma off their tracks better. Or you know, because Syo is generally more helpful to Komaru when it comes to things like that. She’s not jealous.

Allegedly— Touko does not know this for a fact herself since she hadn’t been fronting, and only learns this second hand while she is in the middle of typing up a report to send back to the foundation— Kotoko is the one to bring it up, casually handing off some of her share of the cookies Komaru had made for them, to Jataro. An early birthday present, she had said ( pointedly ignoring Nagisa, who’d pointed out she had given Jataro the ones he hated ), before turning to Komaru to ask if they could throw a party. A small one. With no murder, because that would be ‘totally not adorbs’. And no adults, because they stink ( it goes unsaid that Komaru and Touko themselves are the clear exception to this rule, which is some kind of progress, supposedly ).

That seemed like a fairly reasonable request, according to Komaru, who’s only response was to ask when his birthday was. And then accidentally lets it slip that hey, that’s the week that Touko-chan’s birthday is! And that’s how Touko finds out that apparently, she’s having a joint birthday party with the kids because Masaru managed to turn a party into a competition, somehow? Touko has no clue what that actually entails, because Komaru refuses to elaborate.

( Also, at one point before leaving, Komaru had tried asking Jataro if there was anything she could get him; to which he’d remarked, “A new mask?”

...Yeah, Touko can’t blame her for not knowing what to say to that, even if Komaru had spun it as not the most self-deprecating thing he could have said, which was an improvement? She personally disagrees, but whatever )

Here, she should point out the obvious fact that she does not want to really celebrate her birthday, let alone have a party for it. Because those kind of things lean so far into the zone of things Touko doesn’t really know how to handle, that it makes her close to uncomfortable. And if— if she had humored herself in imagining how she would ideally spend her birthday this year; quite frankly, it would be very quiet and boring and only with Komaru. Not with a group of ten year olds. Ten year olds that she might think of rather fondly, but ten year old brats all the same.

( It’s not like she has any alive friends: if Touko acknowledges the other survivors, justifiably they are too busy with more important matters to fuss over a birthday. They aren’t kids anymore. Some of them hadn’t ever really been like normal kids to begin with, but that’s besides the point )

“Look at the bright side,” She starts, and she bites back a snide what bright side and remark about how that’s all Komaru’s good at ( it’s not. She’s more talented than she gives herself credit for ). “None of you probably have really positive memories when it comes to birthdays or parties, so even if it isn’t the greatest, at least the bar to please should be pretty easy to clear!”

Touko thinks she probably gets the point she is trying to make here, but Komaru’s complete and utter lack of tact doesn’t make for the best delivery. “Are you trying to...to make me feel bad? S-So sorry my life was complete sh-shit growing up.”

“No! That’s not what I meant at all!” Komaru pouts at her. “Does that mean you’re not interested in having a party?”

It’s not like she’s so cold-hearted and selfish that she’s going to say no to that. Well, no, that’s not quite true, Touko might be just that; but it doesn’t really matter either way, because Komaru gives her best kicked dog impression, so she says ( a less than enthusiastic ) no, she doesn’t mind, yes you can have a party; even if she thinks she’ll probably regret that choice.

Okay, if you are to be honest with herself, some part of Touko that never got to be a normal child doesn’t entirely mind the thought of a party, even if it’s...not the most ideal scenario, the impractical fantasy situation that lives in her head. But if she says that aloud, Komaru will either take it too seriously, use it as an excuse to celebrate things more often, or something else that probably has consequences that she doesn’t want to think about. And also admittedly because if she says it aloud, she has to acknowledge it, and maybe she doesn't want to get her hopes up over something as stupid as a party.

( There’s also the fact that, deep in her extremely repressed memories of Hope’s Peak before the tragedy, she does remember parties. Birthdays. Celebrating things with her classmates, if somewhat forcibly so. She has no desire to remember those things, so those feelings remain repressed with most of her trauma )

It’s easy to not acknowledge any of that when she has to deal with the sudden onslaught of a headache that is Syo forcing themselves into their shared headspace, hand rubbing at her temples. Not trying to co-front, she can tell they aren’t trying to snatch control from her ( for now ), just forcing her to pay attention to them. It works, even though Touko has told them to not do this specifically because of how irritating it is for her.

I could scare the kids into cooperating? It’ll save us a headache and a half! Syo offers, maybe too eagerly. Their ideas of scare and cooperate are probably different from her own. Still. She also knows Syo is aware of more than they are letting on, given that they had been present when this conversation had occurred, but she doesn’t think she’ll get much out of them in that regard.

No. Touko tells them firmly. It’ll be counterproductive, Komaru won’t let you do that, and they’re all traumatized enough without you adding to that.

Boo, you sure about that? Consider it a birthday gift from me!

No. She repeats herself sternly, and she feels them withdraw a bit after that. Ugh, Syo hasn’t had a chance to front much recently, now that she thinks about it. Since they usually only take over when she’s in danger, and she hasn’t really been in ( as much ) danger now that things are starting to calm down. Well, relatively speaking. Syo is probably just looking for an excuse to be allowed to front, since it’s probably rough going from being very present to rarely getting the chance to be out: akin to going cold turkey on an addiction. That’s not exactly her fault ( or theirs ), but maybe she’ll ask Komaru if she’d be okay with hanging out with Syo more, if only to placate them a little, before they try something more drastic.

“Everything okay? That was Syo, right?” She hears Komaru ask after a few minutes, and Touko rubs her eyes and blinks. “You looked a little frustrated.”

She considers telling her the truth, but no point in getting her concerned over nothing. She’d like to figure out what she wants to negotiate with Syo firstm so she’ll leave that conversation for another time. “Fine. They just...ugh, just wanted to make sure I was okay with it.”

“And you are okay with it, right? You aren’t agreeing just because I asked?” Touko thinks she begged more than she asked, but she’s pretty sure Komaru will only sulk if she brings that up.

“I wouldn’t let you if, if I was really opposed to it.” Probably. She...trusted Komaru, or something like that, so she figures she’d probably be more honest with herself and not mentally torture herself by putting herself through something she has no interest in. “But...what are you even planning on doing to celebrate? I can’t im-imagine we’ve really got much around here that we can use for a party.”

“Ah. Uhm.” Komaru looks a little embarrassed at that. “About that. I was kind of hoping you and Syo might help pitch in. You don’t mind, right?”

You’re hopeless, she wants to mutter, but—

Yeah!!!! Syo wakes right back up upon being mentioned, no sense of self awareness at all, much to your annoyance, but it’s not like you completely disagree with the feeling that is shared between you two.

“You— You really bit off more than you could chew, hm...? Good thing this wasn’t supposed t-t-to be a surprise.” She quips, leaning over to peer at the paper she’d been making her notes on. “We’ll help, just tell us what we...what we need to do.”

“Thank you, Touko-chan! And Syo too!” Komaru sounds somewhere mixed between grateful and relieved, and casually plants a kiss on her cheek as if it’s no big deal—

She said my name last, so the kiss was for me! She knows Syo is intentionally trying to provoke her and get a rise out of her ( yeah, a rising sense of jealousy ), but puts that aside for the time being because Komaru’s blabbering on like nothing happened.

“I know we probably won’t have the whole day to ourselves to do whatever—” Correctomundo, Dekomaru! “— but I’ll make it up to you on your birthday, okay? We’ll do something that you want.”

“You don't...there’s no need for that.” She forces out between gritted teeth, trying to ignore the flustered feeling in the pit of her stomach, chewing around a fingernail ( what an unattractive sight to follow that ). “Because— ugh, don’t repeat th-this, okay? What I want to do is spend time with...with you. That’s all. So don’t go...you don’t need to go out of your way trying to do s-s-something over the top. Stick to being normal.”

“Really? You’re sure?” Komaru sounds a little uncertain, but happy enough to pull her into a hug, despite her grumbled complaint. “Oh, but Syo has their own birthday, don’t they? So I should probably ask them what they want as well, right?”

“Don’t make me repeat m-myself. It’s embarrassing...” Touko huffs, but lets herself be held against her side, just for a moment. It’s nice, though she won’t admit it ( it is better than any real gift that she could receive ). Syo is kind enough to back off long enough to let her have this moment. “You can ask them later— focus on, on what you need to plan.”

By something short of a miracle, they are able to pull together a party that is not a complete disaster, even if Komaru probably has a point when she says the bar to clear is a pretty low standard for all parties involved. The closest she has to an actual concern is the very narrowly avoided fight that almost breaks out when Masaru and Kotoko fight over which one of them should give their present first— which is apparently the competitive aspect of the party? It’s probably meant to be heartwarming, if it were not such a foreign thing to Touko. Which Nagisa is quick to put an end to: because this is how they would treat Monaca, which is not inherently healthy, and she’s glad that at least one of them can recognize that fact now. Jataro spends the entirety of the fight trying to hide behind her long skirt and, relatable kid, and rubs the top of his head while Komaru tries to both scold them for fighting and appease them because they’re, well. Kids. Who still need to learn some things and have time to unlearn things.

So yeah, it’s a good party— for not being on her actual birthday, she’ll consider it one of the better memories Touko has associated with the day. The start of many, she’d like to hope.

#tokomaru week 2021 #tokomaru #toukomaru #komaru naegi #toko fukawa #touko fukawa #danganronpa #udg #dr:ae #* zhi writes #glad to have the excuse to finally post something w/ these girls.#i have several long wips w/ them w/ no motivation to finish :/

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years

Text

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 7

A/N- Thank you to all of you that are showing this Fic love! It means the world to me! ILY 💕

**From here on out expect spoilers from Defending Jacob**

I found it hard to sleep last night, my mind just wouldn't switch off. The thought that there was someone out there that killed a kid..... was this the start of something bigger or just someone with a grudge against Ben Rifkin?

God i wish Frank was here... i really didn't want to be home alone right now. But I hadn't heard from him since i said that i couldn't make drinks, i had sent a few texts but got no reply to any of them. Then my mind would wander to Andy, wondering how he was coping with everything, id seen a different side to him yesterday, a vulnerable side.

I gave up trying to sleep around 5am, had a shower and dressed for work. I decided to stop at the coffee shop on the way to the office today, so left a little earlier than usual. As i was walking towards the coffee shop i saw Frank walk out with his arm around a little blonde's waist nuzzling her neck and smiling, that same panty dropping smile he gave me. After the initial shock i shook my head and scoffed.... how could i have been so stupid to think he meant the shit he said?? Andy was right, Frank was a fuckboy.

When Frank looked up and saw me he looked a bit like a deer in the headlights.

"Morning" i said as i casually as i carried on walking into the coffee shop. It was far too early to deal with shit like that.

I ordered my coffee and something for Andy then grabbed a couple Cinnamon Rolls. As i waited for my coffee's i was approached by Neal Logiudice, he worked for the DA, Andy's protege from what i heard, i hadnt really had much dealings with him to be honest.

"Hi" he said "your Y/N right? Andy's new assistant?"

"Thats right"

"Im Neal Logiudice, i work at the DA's office"

"Yeah i've seen you around" i nodded.

"Its awful about that kid isnt it?"

"The worst, i cant even imagine what his parents must be going through"

"Me either. Im actually surprised Andy isn't doing more you know?"

"No, i dont know!..... what more do you want him to do?? Andy has done everything he can in this case...."

"You see i dont think he has, i think his too close to this one to see clearly"

"Well your wrong Neal, Andy is doing everything he possibly can..... dont try and use this tragedy to further your own position!" I snapped feeling my blood boil at his shitty accusations.

"Two coffee's for Y/N" was called and i turned to go grab them without another word to Neal.

When i got to work i headed straight to Andy's office to give him his coffee and pastry.

"Knock, knock" i said with a smile holding up the coffee's, Andy was sat at his desk looking over a file.

"Hey, come on in" he leant back in the chair and gave me a smile.

"I brought you the good coffee and a Cinnamon Roll" i placed them on his desk in front of him and sat in the chair opposite.

"You angel!"

"I was up early so i had time to stop" i shrugged taking a sip of my drink.

"You okay?"

"Im fine, just..... it doesn't matter" i scoffed shaking my head as i thought about seeing Frank with the blonde and the weird encounter with Neal.

"You know you can talk to me"

"Yeah i know" i nodded quickly "just been a weird morning...."

"Already? Damn that doesn't sound good" he smiled pulling out the cinnamon roll and taking a bite.

"Actually, there is something i feel like i should mention, it just seemed odd....."

"Okay...."

"When i was getting the coffee Neal came over to me"

"Logiudice?"

"Yeah..... he started saying how he thinks you should be doing more on the case, that your too close to see clearly"

"Thats bullshit! I barely even know the Rifkins!" Andy said shocked at what i was telling him.

"I know that, i told him you were doing everything you could. I also may have told him not to use this tragedy to further his own career before walking out" i admitted nervously "i'm sorry.... i just got so pissed when he started talking about you like that"

"Why are you sorry? I would've said a lot worse than that"

"It was unprofessional of me...."

"Neal was the unprofessional one, I wouldn't worry too much about him"

"Okay, i just thought id give you a heads up.... i dont know if his planning to try and get you pushed from the case"

"Probably, sounds like something he would do, his a little shit".

"Creep more like. Anyway, you all set for the interviews at the school? You need me to do anything?"

"We're all good, i'm meeting Duffy at the school at 9 and we'll probably be there all day.... if you can just keep on top of things here for now and i'll call if i need anything?"

"Sounds good"

A knock on the door made us both turn in our seats to see who it was.

"Andy, Lynne's asking to see you" Lynne's assistant Abby said quickly before rushing off on her way.

"Great, i better go. I'll catch up with you later, thanks for breakfast" he winked on his way out.

It was about 20 minutes later when Andy came marching out of Lynnes office, he stopped at my desk when he reached me.

"You were right about Neal, little prick!"

"Oh god, what happened?"

"He went to Lynne and offered to take over the case, he apparently has concerns about the appearance of conflict! which Lynne agree's with!" Andy was trying to keep calm but i could tell how much this was pissing him off.

"He says i'm dragging my feet with the case..... i cant help it if its going slow! We have no evidence except for a partial print!" He sat on the edge of my desk and rubbed his hands over his face "im not just going to indict someone just to make it look good"

"Of course not!"

"He wanted to know why we hadn't already started to talk to the kids at the school.... half the parents there are lawyers, he knows that. We had to do things right.... every single detail had to be negotiated before we could even attempt to talk to the kids"

"So are they taking you off the case??"

"Not yet, Lynne accepted my argument for staying on. For now anyway."

"Thank god!"

"I gotta go meet Duffy....." he sighed as he checked his watch.

"Okay, good luck, i hope you find something that helps. Call me if you need anything?"

"Sure" he nodded giving me a tight lipped smile "thanks for the heads up about Neal"

"Of course, we've gotta stick together right?"

"Right" he smiled giving my hand a quick squeeze, a minute later he was pulling on his coat and heading to the elevators.

Frank: Hey, can we talk?

Y/N: Im working

Frank: Y/N please?

Y/N: I dont have time right now! Haven't you heard whats going on??

Frank: U mean the kid in the woods?

Y/N: Yeah! things are crazy here.

Frank: I bet. Maybe i can come by tonight? I can explain....

Y/N: There's no point, its obvious what was going on. It was all just casual fun with us anyway right? we weren't exclusive or anything.

Y/N: I think its best we don't see each other for a while

Frank: seriously??

Y/N: I gotta get back to work. Take care Frank.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig

#sebastian stan #chris evans #eb!frank #eb!frank x reader #andy barber #andy barber x reader #defending jacob #endings beginnings #reader insert #rose coloured glasses

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kareofbears · 3 years

Note

Thoughts on Shusumi as a ship?

i think ive stared at this ask long enough to type out something half decent

short answer: no, sorry not for me, but its not her fault.

the rest is under the cut because i love to prattle

long answer: ive talked about this before and ill keep talking about it, which is the tragedy of yoshizawa sumire’s character. basically atlus decided that they wanted to make sumire the perfect girl in the entire game. she has to hit every single box on the waifu checklist without fail.

they introduce her as the mysterious character--she saves joker right at the beginning of the game and its supposed to be a shocking moment for returning players because ‘why does joker need help from some girl oh my she must be so cool!’ and immedietely youre supposed to be intrigued by her and her mystery. but then right after they do that, they re introduce her by doing the most stereotypical archetype of the male love interest saving the cute small girl from a creepy man to show how good of a guy he is and in that moment Atlus had locked themselves into an uneven power dynamic between shusumi--she feels indebted to him because he saved her! so she has to work hard to make it up to him! classic anime trope because dudebros love that whole ‘girl throws herself at me because of how amazing i am’ thing. and its supposed to be a fun play because ‘how fun, they saved each other’ but honestly sumire literally did not need to save joker in sae’s palace because???? what??? it just doesnt make sense?????? even the game couldnt explain that part properly afterwards.

and to add insult to injury, they make her call him senpai. theres this trope in anime called the imoto trope which translates to “little sister.” this could be non-sexual/romantic but many times it just means that a girl looks for guidance to a male figure in her life so he can “protect” her so she feels indebted/reliant to him, etc. the fact that shes the only one calling him senpai makes her perfectly slot into the imoto trope. it’s tripe. its annoying. its demeaning. it’s especially infuriating because futaba is already the imoto figure in this stupid game and she works perfectly without a romantic subplot. they just want to give akira another leg-up over sumire for the dudebros because dudebros eat that kind of shit up

and thats the most annoying thing!!

look, i love yoshizawa sumire with my entire heart. shes a great character with an incredible backstory. ive written a lot of fic about her. i love her. shes great. Atlus knows shes great--they made her great because in order to make a perfect waifu you need to make her three dimensional because the dudebros would never accept a half-assed waifu because jeez who do you think we are

but. atlus did this horrifically infuriating thing where they know sumire is great BUT they did it in a way where she will never ever be better than, or threaten the power and competence, of the player.

its like they’re (atlus) playing the most infuriating game of im not touching you when they were trying to make sumires character. they make this character and she’s super cool (but not rude! because if shes rude then shes a bitch and she wont be waifu material!) and she’s a badass (but she isnt as good as joker! because he still has to be the most skillful character for some reason!) she has to be pretty (but she can’t be interested in shopping or makeup because shes supposed to be smart and not like other girls!)

because atlus miscalculated while they were developping sumire--because they were so desperate in making her a three dimmensional character (because remember, she can’t be one of those normal girls, she has to be different), they erased who she was to the point that she isn’t a character anymore. she’s a girl that’s ten tropes rolled into one--she’s the badass good girl, she’s a girl with a tragic backstory so akira can ‘fix’ her (her flaws are all accounted for and fixed and that is not a good thing in writing but i wont get into it now). its like they wrote this great backstory for a character and then panicked that you might not like her, so they shoved in twelve other tactics to make her likeable.

she’s pretty, she’s deep, she’s perfect. she’s hollow. Yoshizawa Sumire only exists to be a love interest in persona 5 royal.

she can’t stand on her own legs as a character because she isn’t a character--she’s only there to be akira’s perfect other half; from her metaverse outfit, to the weirdly frequent and often one-on-one hangouts the two of them have, to their boss battle??? (oh yes a boss battle is necessary so that these two characters can move past whatever feud they have so their relationship can strengthen and they’re even more perfect together, etc, its another way atlus is forcing us to see how great sumire and akira are together)

and that’s why i dont like shusumi as a ship. because why in hell is atlus trying to shove this “perfect waifu” down our throats when its supposed to be the player’s choice? we as the players have no choice but to see sumire constantly. its like atlus doesnt trust us to see how great their new character is on our own--which is a shame, because ironically if they had given us less sumire screentime i probably would have like how she was used way more.

atlus tried too hard, and that was the cause of sumire’s downfall, and by extension, the downfall of shusumi.

short explanation part two: anyway shusumi isnt for me because it never stood a chance against akiryu

if you like shusumi, great! good for you. but if i was, say, a shuann shipper, i would be so so so annoyed because its like atlus just shafted all of their other characters to make room for their shiny new one.

I don't like shusumi because the result was not enough given the sheer amount of screentime that that had together. It did not justify how much time and development it took away from the other characters. Atlus weakened it's own game by devoting so much of it to shusumi.

#i love this ask #thank you mushroomfusion #ask #asks

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tillman · 4 years

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Can you tell me more about gawain and lancelot in the arthurian myths? I really ship then in FGO and I heard that they are bestfriends

ok this is straight up going to be an essay without the revisions so just a stream of consciousness on my thoughts of how their relationship is handled in both fate and then the legends themselves since fate pulls a lot yet changes some key aspects that really makes their relationship what it is. it kinda goes from a one sided pinning for an idiot who doesnt comprehend love to a more. theyre just bros. which kinda makes me upset anyways. under the cut. im so sorry for hwo long this is gonna be i have a lot to say about gawain and lancelot.

ok honestly i think fgo handles their relationship pretty well from what ive seen. they genuinely are just bros too stupid to realize the other is flirting with them in their own ways which is fucking hilarious. i think the only thing that bugs me about how fate actually likes. has them interact is they remove like. the greatest bit of their friendship and i think make it just about the war between them at the end. i cant say for certain but from what i can figure out i think they reduce gawain and lancelots conflict at the end of the main story to just completely them fighting and gawain dying via lancelots wound? but i dont know for certain dont quote me on this. this both a) removes all the REAL tragedy of this situation of both of them just being really fucked up over grief and regrets stirred by arthur in the first place and b) completely ignores one of the best bit of gawain characterization in le morte, gawain forgiving his literal best friend on his death bed and pleading for his return, to come back and mourn for him, to try to save whats left of the world they both helped build and protect. in an adaptation of le morte (which fate lore mostly is) i think gawains final letter is NEEDED to complete his arc and his like. entire character since malory (and then thus fate) spends more time focused on lancelot.

like just pulling from their dialog w each other in the My Room things, gawain talks about his regret and immaturity over... not forgiving lancelot? what . and lancelot just offers to play chess which is extremely funny. (on another note hwy does fate gawain hate bors. i ltierally can not figure this out at all why is he so mean to his best friends cousin theyre bros.... theyre bros!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

anyways now onto the legends because this isnt about fate. fuck fate i hate fate all of my homies hate fate. im gonna focus MOSTLY on le morte since that connects to fates version more and pull some quotes from other legends i have memorized but there is absolutely more, and the vulgate delves into it a bit more but i havent ... gotten that far im so sorry the prose merlin is kicking my ass.

the thing to note is gawain (excluding guenevere) was kinda the first person to show lancelot respect when he came to court. gawain kinda took him under his wing for a bit, and they end up VERY close. they have a relationship built off of respect and understanding for each other and it ends up being one of lancelots only Real friendships throughout most legends since he has issues w communication and understanding intention that i could (and will) rant about for hours so i wont delve too into it rn. but like. theyre arthurs best knights basically. troyes will say otherwise and say eric and yvaine are better than lancelot but troyes is fucking stupid and a whore, and most sources will tell you its gawain and lancelot (most sources favor lancelot over gawain due to the french influence on some later literature, and le morte is on the lancelot side due to being pulled a lot from the post vulgate, which pulls from the vulgate, aslo called the lancelot-graal cycle. its a whole thing)

but basically for a lot of the main legends you have two Absolute Best Bros who would literally do anything for the other, one being extremely horny and the other being so hopelessly inept when it comes to communication he doesnt understand how love works. theyre a wonderful pair :-) im kidding theyre so fukcing stupid watching them interact is like watching a car crash. its fucking disastrous and you want to yell at them to just beat the shit out of each other homoerotically and understand their feelings (which they do! wow! shout out to le morte!) anyways to keep this from getting too long lets go over some fun gawain quotes about his Best Friend. Who he thinks about a lot. but like... in a no homo way. he swears.

anwyays uhhhhh to keep this short heres a fun compilation of gawain being gawain. and a pretty good overview of how how gawain talks about his Best Friend in a totally not gay way. its straight if he says no homo.

in gawains death note, which i think is the peak of gawains character in le morte

“Sir Launcelot; for of a more nobler man might I not be slain. Also Sir Launcelot, for all the love that ever was betwixt us, make no tarrying...”“And I require thee, most famous knight of the world, that thou wilt see my tomb.“

and then. for equality since i skimmed all of knight of the cart for this, have some good lancelot lines. for context some idiot locked him in a tower for a year and lancelot just does this the entire time

anyways: tldr lancelot and gawain are in love even if both of them are too stupid to realize it. thats basically their entire relationship. everything goes to shit after lancelot accidently kills gareth and gaheris because lancelot too thinks of them as his brothers and is so torn up about it he lets everything happen. gawain starts a war with him because he would rather die than face the music. like its insane.... they should kiss. fate kinda gets this ok, but i think they should have had them just more homoerotic at every given moment because they Are. thanks for listening to my ted talk. im sorry im like this.

find u a bro to have a homoerotic duel with and live your best life babey

#I CANT FIND LITERALLY ANY ART OF THEM TOGETHER SO WERE GOING IWTH THAT #thank u for this i love ranting #im sorry im fucking crazy #i learned a lot about fate gawaain thru this which is weird #why does he hate bors......#also i forgot how funny knight of the cart is lancelot goes nuts in that tower going 'he loves me... he loves me not...' for hours #this got so out of hand i just want them to hold hands #Anonymous

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moon-yeongjun · 4 years

Text

“Tae-yah, I love you, but this is a stupid dream.” || Moon Bros

Summary: June 5-- Tae asks for permission to get a nipple piercing and then wants boy and friend advice, thus torturing Jun. This is very funny.

@moon-yeongtae

Tae: hey so would u ever sign a paper so I could get my nipples pierced and not tell eomma?

Jun: what the hell

Jun: why would you want to do something so absurd

Tae: bc it looks cool?

Jun: aiya

Jun: look i dont think that is something we could hide from eomma for forever

Jun: cant you just wait a year and a half you'll be 18

Jun: then you can do whatever horrible body mutilation to yourself that you want

Tae: maybe

Tae: but if I really wanted to you'd sign it right?

Tae: :)

Jun: i dont think so

Jun: i am not going to go behind eomma's back

Jun: then you'll get me in trouble

Tae: :(

Tae: i could tell her I forged ur signature if she found out

Jun: no

Jun: this is a waste of your money anyway

Jun: if you still want it at 18 then you get it then

Tae: my friends are gonna get piercings

Tae: all three of them

Jun: oh u going to buy drugs if all your friends buy drugs

Tae: no

Tae: but I also don't want drugs

Jun: well why do u want nipple piercings anyway are you trying to be a pirate eh

Jun: a drug lord

Tae: maybe

Tae: im actually starting my own biker gang

Jun: all the more reason for me to say no

Tae: why can't u support my dreams hyung

Jun: tae yah i love you

Jun: but this is a stupid dream

Tae: wow

Jun: someone needs to tell you

Jun: that someone is me

Tae [hours later]: Hyung

Tae: on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being u actually like it and 10 being u want to shoot urself in the face

Tae: how do u feel about me talking to u about boys

Jun [deleted]: 씨-발

Jun: a 5

Tae: ok so like an 8

Jun: i said a 5 didnt i

Tae: 5 means u have no feeling one way or the other lmfao that's impossible u have an opinion about everything

Jun: if you tell me you want to get your nipples pierced for a boy i am at a 10 how about that

Tae: haha no that would be just for me ;)

Jun: right

Jun: the answer to that is still no

Tae: no i was actually going to talk about how i'm never going to date anyone in my whole life and i might as well become a monk

Jun: oh well personally i think that is a good life decision

Jun: monks are well respected

Jun: i am also probably going to become a monk

Tae: yeah why don't u get laid more tbh

Tae: all my friends talk about how hot u r so i mean u probably look alright

Jun: i am now at a 7

Jun: we're not supposed to be talking about my sex life

Jun [deleted]: also you should get new friends they are not allowed to come over anymore IN WITH THE NEW OUT WITH THE STUPID

Tae: ugh

Tae: im depressed

Jun: okay

Jun: because you think you're never going to date?

Tae: no

Tae: bc i can't date nemo

Jun: why not

Jun: he likes boys too

Jun: does he not like you?

Tae: apparently louie had a crush on me this whole time

Tae: and thinks we are assholes

Jun: oh wait im remembering this

Jun: we did talk about it

Tae: yes

Tae: and like

Jun: i told you to tell him to shut up

Tae: he's just now starting to talk to us again

Jun [deleted]: first of all i cant believe you have so many gay friends is everyone just gay now

Tae: and nemo is a really good person and cares

Tae: about louie's feelings

Jun: so you'er saying he wont date you because he does not want to upset his other friend

Tae: yea

Jun: im not really sure what you want from me here i dont really do relationship advice

Tae: ok

Jun: it seems to be that louie is being selfish and you should just date

Jun: right? is that crazy?

Jun: and if he is going to not talk to you well he is a terrible friend anyway good riddance

Tae: that's a little bit how i feel

Tae: i also see nemo's side

Tae: but the longer it goes on

Tae: the more i just really don't give a fuck what louie says

Jun: you shouldnt give a fuck about him but i guess you should care what nemo says since he still has to agree to date you

Tae: u said fuck lmao

Jun: ive said fuck many times before

Tae: yeah but i was expecting u to yell at me about my language lol

Tae: anyway

Tae: i want to kick louie in the mouth and date nemo

Tae: and im depressed bc i can't do that

Tae: bc i really really like him

Tae: a lot

Tae: so much

Jun [deleted]: well thats nice... no what the fuck do u say to someon

Jun: ah well im sorry tae yah that your friends are both equally stupid for different reasons

Tae: im moving to texas

Tae: that's like one of the only states i know

Jun: i hear things are worse there

Jun: you should move to new york thats where everyone goes

Jun: personally would hate it but

Jun: i dunno, lots of gay people are there

Tae: like city?

Jun: yes sure

Tae: that shit is too big

Jun: aiya now i will yell at you for your language

Tae: can i stay home from school tomorrow lmao

Jun: what? no

Jun: there is no good erason for you to miss school

Tae: it's to stop me from killing a skinny white boy

Jun: not good enough your education is most important

Jun: a little murder never hurt anyone

Jun: but missing school? terrible tragedy

Tae: except the dead guy

Jun: well in a way you're doing him a favour if you think about it

Jun: he doesnt have to go to school anymore

Jun: but you do

Tae: omg

Tae: that's a good reason to keep him alive i guess

Tae: so he has to suffer

Jun: there we go

Jun: other ways to get revenge

Tae: he's being such a little bitch baby too

Tae: UGH

Jun: yes just get it out

now

Tae: did u know he's not even looking at me

Tae: like he won't

Tae: he looks off to the side and like doesn't speak actual words to me

Tae: he will text when we are in a group and acknowledge me there

Tae: that's it

Jun: thats very immature

Jun: weird way to treat a crush if u want them to like u back too but thats neither here nor there

Tae: what he is basically doing is making sure i will never like him back probably bc why would i like someone who can't like

Tae: talk about what is bothering them

Tae: and instead ignores me

Jun: well i dont know i definitely wouldnt

Tae: and like we have talked about it

Tae: but he basically said i was a dick and i should leave him alone

Tae: so the whole thing pisses me off i hate it

Jun: well maybe you should

Jun: let him get over it or whatever

Tae: i am

Tae: im not being pushy it just sUCKS

Jun: well i saw a lot of people in my year date and break up over and over

Jun: the good thing is he will get over it and you will all forget about it

Jun: then you and nemo can date if thats what you want

Tae: yeah

Tae: when u come home can u bring some nectarines

Jun: what am i a delivery boy

Jun [deleted]: yes yeong junnie

Jun: fine

Tae: thank u hyungie

#text #moon bros #moon bros text

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zombiequincy · 4 years

Text

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela AGE: 21 CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc.

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise !

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!!

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation.

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @bazzardburner cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu @blooming5th @viciousvizard @glacies-tempestatem and whoever else wishes to do this!!

#dash games #// this took ages....

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umbillicalnoose · 5 years

Note

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

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kookiestiddies · 6 years

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Welcome to the 70′s -Tom Holland

“Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain” Benedict Cumberbatch repeats in the movie playing on TV.

“He will outlive God trying to have the last word ” you mutter under your breath as you shove another spoonfull of cookie dough ice cream into your mouth. As an investigative journalist for one of the most controversial yet popular newspapers out there, you had expected your adult life to turn out a lot more interesting than it was. But alas, the sad truth was that the most cotroversial thing you would have ever come to write was an article on how apparently British people drink more Starbucks than the Americans ever will and that your Friday nights are never going to get any more interesting than a tub of ice cream and a MCU film.

Suddenly, the Avengers theme start playing from under the pile of interview notes on your coffee table indicating that someone was calling you. You hurriedly scramble around the thick blanket that’s covering you and over the sleeping dog at your feet to get it. Without glancing at the screen you answer the call to the schrill voice that belongs to your ever ecstatic friend, Stella. “Y/NNNNNN” she screams down the phone. “WOOOOOOT” you scream back at her.

“I found a freaking disco, yeah that’s right, a DISCO, downtown and it’s freaking playing soNGS from the freaKING 70′s ARGGHHH can you please get your ass down here I think they’re gonna start playing Queen anytime soon” she whines to you. You don’t think at all, you just spring into action. “Send me the address. I’ll be there in 10 and when I’m there i’ll holla at you so you know I’m there. Don’t do anything remotely fun until I’m there or I swear to God-”

“Okay I get your point, hurry” she says and hangs up.

You absolutely love 70′s and 80′s music. Songs these days are just an absolute tragedy with the whole autotune, EDM stuff. The best part about old songs is how when they come on, everyone feels like dancing and just want to have a good time. There’s no strange robotic dance routine to follow and no challenges to complete. There’s just fun. And there is no way you’re going to miss out on that kinda of fun. You know, Fun with classic Rock Band Sprinkles.

*time skip*

“dum dum dum dum anoTHER ONE BITES THE DUST *clap*, anD ANOTHER ONE DOES AND ANOTHER DOES ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST YEAH” the entire crowd sings the last few words.

From across the disco somoene screams out “MR. STARK, I DONT WANT TO GO!” so you scream back at the person “TOO SOON BRO!”.

You arrived at the disco about an hour ago and as promised you holla-d at Stella who found you very quickly. She was by your side the whole night but then around the time Bohemian Rhapsody started playing, she was nowhere in sight and a text from her said that she was busy with a hook up. It was always like this. Stella always called you out for what promised to be a wild night but halfway through she would mysteriously wander off with a man and you would be left on your own.

Just as Boogie Winderland started playing, someone bumps into you causing you to almost spill your drink. Unfazed, you just sighed and started swaying to the rhythm of the classic song that the band was playing. However the person who bumped into you immediately turned around to apologize and with a shock, you realize who it is. Not at all tall compared to most men around his age, with slightly curling brown hair and big brown eyes stood a boy in front of you. It’s him! It’s freaking Spoilerman! He’s standing there apologizing for mistakenly bumping in to you and you’re too busy mentally fangirling to say anything in response.

Instead of replying with something normal like “Oh, no worries” or “It’s okay, there are no mistakes there are only happy accidents”, you start belting out the lyrics in time to the song that was playing in the background.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, I almost made you spill your drink on your pretty dress. Forgive me for I have siNneD.” he rambled.

“Midnight creeps so slowly into hearts of men who need more than they get..” you sing your eyes wide, face ridden of any emotion.

“Sorry sorry sor- what?”

“Daylight deals a bad hand to a woman who has laid too many bets..” you keep singing, this time you motion for him to continue.

“The mirror stares you in the face and says"Baby, uh, uh, it don't work"..???” he starts singing with a questionig look at you. But you notice that he’s also started swaying to the music.

You smile and nod and this time you scream out the words and he joins in with you “You say your prayers though you don't care, You dance and shake the hurt, Dance, Boogie wonderland, Ha, ha, dance, Boogie wonderland!”

“Hi, I’m Y/N” you introduce yourself over the loud music. “Hello Y/N, i’m Tom” he replies with a strongly pronounced English accent.

“Hi Tom” you say breathlessly with a grin. “Hi Y/N” he says back you with a grin of his own.

“Y/N, do you mind me dancing here with you?” he asks. God bless that boy. “Of course not.”

“Thanks, I had to ask for consent because drunk consent is not the right consent” he says.

You let out a bark of laughter.

“What even?!? Firstly, i’m not drunk...yet. And secondly, you don’t have to ask for anybody’s permission to dance if you feel like it.” you say.

“Okay,but I feel the need to ask for YOUR permission to dance with YOU” he says with a lazy smile and have to look away to stop him from seeing the smile that’s growing on your face.

“Huh”.

For the rest of the night, Tom stays by your side, singing and dancing without a care in the world. Song after song, band after band, you don’t stop having fun. At one point Mamma Mia starts playing and you scream for joy because that song is your shit. Tom gives you a weird look but starts singing the song with you despite your manic behaviour.

“Mamma mia, here I go again, My my, how can I resist you?”

“Yes, however can I resist your constantly screaming state?” Tom mocks you.

“Say what you want, all the other boys want me. I’ve got the right milkshake for it” you say with a purposely added duck face that you make at the end.

“Wow, can I get some milkshake please?” he says and realizing his mistake, his eyes go wide and his face turns red.

“Yikes Tom, don’t you think that was kinda fast” you say. It was your turn to make fun of him.

“Oh God no, no, no, NOOOO. I beg of you, forget I ever said anything, oh my God why do I always do this.”

You start laughing uncontrollably. Tom looks at you pleadingly. “Stop laughing at me, it’s a tragedy that I was born so undeniably awkward. The Roman gods in togas are looking down at the entirety of humanity in dissapointment beacause of my innability to talk to girls”

You roar with laughter even harder because of all the stupid things he’s saying. “What the hell!!! Tom, I promise you, the entirety of humanity and all the Roman gods in togas see you as a national treasure. Watch out cause Nicolas Cage is out to protect you.” you say and this causes Tom to start laughing.

The rest of the crowd stops to stare at you and Tom clutching your stomachs, histeriacally laughing at who-knows-what.

To be continued....

A/N

Hey guys, so this is my EVER fic and i’m honestly so nervous about this. At first I didn’t want to post any of my ideas, but then I thought, what’s the worst that could happen right? Right? Feedback is needed and appreciated ;3 Also, i’m going to post the second part to this depending on the feedback this receives so amen to that.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #peter parker #tom holland fluff #tom holland headcanon #tom holland cuddle

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air--bag · 7 years

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I really don´t know how to start this, or it´s future implications, or if you still use Tumblr, or if you still remember me, or if you´´ll ever see this or if it´s going to be read by someone. But even if this go invisible for centuries or forever I need to put this somewhere so I can be a bit more free and maybe one day you´ll read this and finally you will know my feelings for you. (Sorry for the shity grammar and ortography or for mixing spanish words but im kinda lazy and this is really long, so ill just leave it as it its)

I was 13 years old the first time I saw you, it was the second day of school our professor came in when class had already started and in front of him there was a new student, it was indeed someone new. Since the first time I swa you, I knew you weren´t from here, you were so diffren to all of us. We were plain and common stupid suckers that only thought in when to lose virginity and to get waste for the first time in our lives; but you didn´t seem to be that kind of person. you seemed to be quite more deep. THe first time I talked you I thought you were really old and you fucking hated ll of us., it´s kinda of surprising how close you came to be for me, after that first encounter. We eventually become friends, I don´t know how but it happened and actually you turned up to be really fucking cool I mean you were the shit. .You were like really something else, i mean your overall style, and you were a talented drawer (you are still ive seen some of your shit and tis really great). and yu were a cospayer. So in conclsuion we were lightyears from beenso cool like you... From that first year I don´t remeber to much, just htat you lost someon important in your life, and I still remeber how you didn´t go to school and the night that, with a friend, i went to see you. I kept talking to you during vacations and that made so happy because I fucked it up, but about that I will talkin other part of this text Oh, and I started to listen to bands like Asking Aleexandria and some metal shit that was reallly cool and thank you for showing me those bands.. So vacations, ended January was realy cold, and for thee very firt time I started to use my hair long. Of course people laughed at me, it was really a messy hair but I kida liked... To this day my har is really important its like my force its on my hair, without my hari I wouldnt be the same. That year we started kind of apart till our firen, that in this text im going to call Jordan, was expelled from school and sso it was you and me. I know that we had other friends like the one that in here im going to call Alfonso, and many oters, but principally it was you and me. One day for some reasin our cases were changed and we had to move to ihter class that was bigger I think. And since i was lucky that Jordan expeleed (dont get me wrong, I mean, i felt bad for Jordan but deep inside of me, to have you for me in the class, was like winning an oscar, the lottery o winning nobel prize) So basically from march to october we sat next to each other, and that march was the beginning of one of the best time s of my life. I remeber how to see you in my left side, focused in whatever you were draing,, that year you started to draw with rapidografos, and actually your were improving, yowere going to more anime conventions, you were improving your cosplays to. That year I started to watch anime, just have some other things in common with you, porbably without ou I wpuld have never seen anime bugt bracause of you I did, and I lied to you saying tat I did watch anime since12 years old or something like that. So I talked to you about your drawings, or music, or anime, or movies, or conspiracy theories, or how you were dying because got varicela, about videogames, about life, about books, about your cosplas, about everthing, absolutely everinght. We laghed, we played with each.. there was a time actually that we played with water and we kinda of enede u wet, we play with our foot, with our hands ( you used to make the triforce symbol with your hands and was a fucking hell to me t do it) we aughed, with the we were becoming really close... You were becming my best friend... I reaally enjoyed to go to scholol beacuse you were going tp be by my side, the morning would end fast and will had the time of my life, and those years I felt really really fine. Prbably without you hat yer would be boring, and I dont knwow , maybe it would´ve been a more difficult year for me. I would got bullied or something like that. But nothing bad happened that year actuallly it was one of the best years. During that time w=you became really close to Dr. dooferschmitz(Im calling him like that, i hope you know who im talking about) and to Monica ( you know, the girl that was best friend of the Dr. dooferschmitz) so I kinda of felt apart, I mean were laughing and stuff but I started to feel afraid that I nothing for you and that eventually you would throw me away,( of course you didn´t do thatt, know its imposiible for me to think of you doing that) and I was afraid of losing you, and that added up with the many new emotiones that I had, my fear and so many other things, made me to epeat my mistake from thae year before, I started to treat you with coldnes, I ingnored you I treated you bad, and to this day I still regreat hat. You were the last persons that deserved that, and I took you apart from me and I don´t know, why I didn´t gave an effort to avoid to hurt you i just don´t know. I fucked it up again...But agin you kinda forgave me, and seriously thank seriously losing you and those moemnts would be a tragedy for e thank you for been so cool for being amazong an for keep beign my friend. So we kept talikng and beign friends and things become brighter for me again, going to school was my favorite thing in the world this become colorful. You know they say that when youre in love things become colorful and I agree withem, beacause hen I remember those days thers like a feeling that make it so romantic, something in the sun or in the sky or in the color of the walls make those memories really special and beatiu,, even when i was dying of boredom in the church to think that that nex t day I would be talking shit with you made me feel excitedl. My love for you was growing more and more You were there, you showed me cool music, I was hapy with that music, with the animes you recommended me , and basiclly with life itself. My happines had no end or I thought so. We came out of school , we kept talking almost everyday day as we did in the months before, we talked through skype, i remeber seeing you making some cosplays, you were wearing a dinasour pijama that to this day, I still love, you presented me thorugh skype to shini and I remeber how it hurted o not talk you, it was a hell to be without you, it was kinda of infectious beacause I came to depend on you its never good in any kind of relation, but yet all that pain was healed when I talked to you again.. But we started to talk less, you moved to another school, I moved to other school, and even though we still talked every now and then, thngs were changingand I did notice that. Things we re becoming gray, life started to be boring, but yet, somehow, my love for you still kept growing, buut that year (2014) we talked almost nothing. There was a day that I saw you, it was tests-week so I came out early and I was going to see you, I remember how my legs were shaking and the hug i gave you when i wsaw you, i threw you my jacket and you thre w it backt to me and th then whe huged like for a minute repeating ecac other how much we mieed us. God, you were so beatiful that day, actually i havent talked about how beatiful you are, I mean you are funny intelligent, bright, clever, how you ended up beign in this shitty city? fuck, youre so beatiufl, I love your light lips, your tiny nose, youre honey eyes, your snowy skin, your voice, your laugh, Iwas stupid in porpuse just to make you laug and the to go to heaven for a few seconds by the power of your laugh. God I really thought you were perfect,its curious because, I knew that there were things i didnt liked from you but at the same time i liked the beacuase those things made youyou, and fuck you were so beatiful in all the posiible ways, metaphsiclly, physcilly you were jus beaitulf, and realy fucking loved you a lo a lo t lot, i dreamed of you, of holding your hand, of kissing you, of sharing life with you, whit brojke the atmosphere and went to the space, ravelled to far away galaxies and was loving you I was just happy and in love I didnt care about anything ese but you. I enojyed to se your face every morning, how you putted your legs on the desk, all your gesture, i loved the time i holded a part of your body, i loved your smell that to this i havent forget , i remeber how the sun shined and crashed in your hair as in a trigo field. I was so lucky so so lucky, you made everything else beatiful, as if there was some kind of power inside you that transformed everythin around you, to thins day i think that you were a god, and or wanted to experience human life and so came own to the mortal war and picked anyone to be around with and for destiny reasons i was one of those lyucky basards. You were so different from this shity world. One day you invited me to your house to watch jack frost ovies ( i dont remeber its name) and at some point of that day we were ion your rooftop sitting next to each other, weather, was fresh, sky was blue as an ocean sun was warm and soft, and you were beatiufll, and i felt love and calm, everything was balanced everything, was more than ok, everything.... Life can be cruel sometimes, I think that its part of what makes all of this beaiufl, its tragical factort.... life is like that... our perfect circle ( or at least mine) broke and the only thing that i could do was accept it and move on, but i never did that, . wel till last year, 2016 was a good year for me and it mean an advance in my life. But every time I finally move on form you I crash with sometihing, I dont know what it its. Something ive been realizing is that I will never forget you, cause what you did in its sobig that i cant just ignore it, everywher i go i will see afraction of your beatiful eyes, every time I love there weill be a part of me, that eventually will thin of you. IYpu fell in love with new people, you trvelled, and I stayed here, and I decided that finaly have to let you go. even though the things you gave to me will always come with me , the beautiness you showe med will always lay in my heart as if its writeen in stone , those beatiful memories will always be inside of me. Enven if as i became older those meories start to blur I kow that in some part of me, those memories will be there, and so you will be. Actually my life can be seen as a life before and after you. Before I met you, I was sleepwalking, I woke up, ate my brakefast, came from school, doing nothing during afternoons, going to church in sundays, repeating everything that was told to me, the only human from tha pat me was my desperate effort to fit somewhwere, to be like tthe popular guys, I dressed like them, I tried to be like them bu the real me wasn´t even clse to be like that. The pepole that formed part part of my life was stupid, boring, plain and I hated them. And then theres you, you were a real human, you dressed as you wanted to dress, you llistened the music you wanted to, you didn´t care what the people said, you just were a strong powerful color in the middle of thiss that gray schooI remember how teachers wanted to make you pray, and tried to obligate you to change yourself , cause they didn´accept anthing that was different to them, and you revealed to them, you sttod up with your beliefs withyourself and ddn´t leet them to denigrate you or to destroy you, you stood p and were yourself and that inspired me. Cause you know I´ve always een a lie, to this day my parents don´t know my sexuality nor that I´m agnostic, they think that Im still that christian boy who loves god and will marry when he graduates from university. Bu actually I´m not beacause you opened my mind, o talk with you, to hear you to see howyou was exciting refreshing, an experience itself it opened my mind, it showed me that theres was world outside waiting for me to l ived it, you showed me that I have a mind and a soul and that Im someone, and that Im a fucking person, that Im a fucking person dude, it ound strange but I didn´t kew that before I met you. You know what´s funny? Thath you weren´t noticing all this things you were transfroming in me, just by been yourself you blosoomed the best of me , Dude I loved you, i really fucking loved you whit all that I had, even if was young, stupid, preteantious I loved you. I loved you I fucking fucking loved you I fucking loveeed you sooo much , My only regret in this life is to be so coward to never took the courage to tell you this and love you even more. Dude thank you for been there when life was shity, thank you for been my best friend whe I was completely alone, thank you for all the fucking great bands that you sowed me, thank you for opening my mind and been one the most influencial things in my ife and to start this fire that become me in the person I am. I know im not perfect and Im not better than anyone, but just to imagine what kind of personI I would be if I would never met you, scares me, I was full of hate and anger while I sleeped and you woke me, you gave me the srenght to move on, you gave me love, lfe, empath, forgivness. Yeah, there were bad times, there were shity things, asi in everything in this world, but there was something inside of me where to hold on. You were my big bang, you gave me a breath of life and since that i been moving on. Thank you dude, seriously. But for now I have to defintily let you go. Ive been trying to move on from you but its kind of impossible if I dont release all my feelings in some way. So I have to let you go. I don´t know what life has for me or for you but I hope its the best for both, and I hoped that you find your way if you havent, I hope that you love someone with all your heart and that someone loves you with all its heart too and that you fly acroos the atmosphere and shine like stars through space and time even after you die... Your light will still shine in this world and in aliens world and the universe will receive that light with love. If you don´t know what to do in life, do as Boukowski said: Find something you love and let it kill you. You´re talentful and intelligent and I hope that you go far in this life. Please take care of you, of your mental health ofr your physical health please, love yoursefl. Dude, always always fucking remeber how beatiful you are, how amazing you are, anhow much love you can give to people. To this day you are one of the most amazing person I met and think you will always ben in my list of the coolest persons in the worldyou will always hvae a part of my heart, and wherever I go, whatever I do, I will have you somewhere inside of my heart, that part is forever yours. I loved you a lot a lot. Im sorry for the shit i did to you, thank you for been an important parf of what saved my life.Thank you for beign yourself, for beign so real, for beign so brave, for beign amazing. Thak you for beign my first love, I couldn´thave been anymore lucky... I have to let you go, and I have to move. Keep in mind that somwhere, someone will have a part of you inside of him. I hope you the best and I remebered you that i loved you with all my fucking, heart, soul mind, thoughts, with absolutly everything I had,... Dude, all my love and best wishes for you... Goodbye...

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elsewhereuniversity · 7 years

Text

ASKS - Mini Stories/Headcanons/Ideas

Little ask-stories sent to my main blog, posted here!

violetsnowstorm555 said: Archaeology majors agree never to dig anywhere near campus for fear of what might come up.

Anon said: What about that one kid who thinks the fair folk are actually ALIENS

k4t3yk4t said: There was that one occasion with the Vegan™ freshman who discovered the black fur coat in her roommate's closet. She was so appalled... She stole it, not to keep, but to confront her roommate later about. She never got the chance to. She wasn't seen for months, but eventually came back. She was different, when she did, though.. And never went near the pool again.

unicorn-aly said: The Girl With The Eye Tattoo on The Back Of Her Neck™; To always be kind to That One Janitor; don't pass that broom closet unless it's a life or death situation (and even then run as fast as you can); to say your purpose and you mean no harm when you enter That Room; leave exactly 9 cups of vanilla creamer under that tree; don't step on the tiny hills lest your head should face the opposite way for the rest of your life; never ever EVER pick up and keep the things you find in the mini garden 2/3

(I can’t find the other two asks connected to this which is a tragedy bc this fragment is a Gem)

chaoswolf1982 said: I am sooooo tempted to headcanon that EU is one of the places where citizens from Night Vale attend for higher education, but due to NV's own innate weirdnesses, those who've attended find absolutely nothing unusual or strange about the place, it being equivalent to them as being a quiet and plain small-town college. A good math program, decent arts scholarship, but nothing particularly stands out about it.

scarymaryanne said: OHMYGOD I'm in love with Elsewhere Uni! Just thinking about the RAs and how far they are willing/allowed to go to keep their students from getting nabbed. Like a rota for who rings the bells at dawn and dusk and no one will ever skip that duty, not again. And watching for signs of who might get taken. You can't foil them all the time cos they get mad but that tiny dance major on your floor is TOO fragile to revel with the Gentry and you will camp outside their door with salt and iron and the RAs who go in at the end of the year to get back those who were taken spend all year hoarding favours and gifts to use to get people out. They keep the crows sweet because while they would never, ever spy on the Fair Folk they've been known to drop tidbits of information and gossip that come in handy. They're the silver tongued English and Poli-sci majors who know exactly how to wheedle those who were taken back home

thecommrade said: EU idea. That one kid that everything seems to revolve around them. Are they the ring master? Are they a fae? Do they have forbidden dark magic? Nobody really knows. They're honestly too crazy to get a straight answers from them. Its always some cryptic poem of nonsense.

themarginalthinker said: They slide their notebook towards you. "I won't bite, promise!" You look down at the offering, the bullet points and neatly written summaries of the professor's lecture. Though sleep-deprived you are, pull away, sudden sickening realization of what you've done. They're smiling again, and there's something pinched between their fingers - a single hair. You'd taken their offer. They took their due. You don't acknowledge them day after next. Their eyes don't match. You know that hair color. You try to get your bearings on what's going on in class, not paying a whole lot of attention to the new student. Who is paying a lot of attention to you. "Bad week, huh?" They ask. You nod absently, suddenly realizing you don't know anyone really well in this class enough to ask for notes. Damn it..."Want to see mine?" The new student asks. You look over, finally - they seem friendly enough, an why not. Their eyes do not match. "Um..." You hesitate. They smile and /their eyes do not match/.

roseverdict said: headcanon: EU's school song rings a little longer, a bit louder, at home games. and in dorms. and honestly it's always playing just out of hearing range for the upperclassmen but the freshmen are freaking out that there's the song aLWAYS GOING-

solongraggedydoctor said: Elsewhere university. Their are three distinct types of non believers who attend. All three arrive unaware of the far world type 1) rapidly changes their views on the world, and accept and believe. Type 2) they willingly follow the rules, as they've seen what happens otherwise, but they say they don't believe, if just so if it turns out to be a joke they don't look stupid, they get got a few times. Type 3) they outright deny, and oddly, no matter what they do, nothing happens ... And oddly, no matter what they do, nothing ever happens to them. They show disrespect, follow none of the fae rules, and are still left alone, but then, towards the end of their final year, they kinda just seem to disappear, and no one really seems to remember where they went, and even years after the fact, no one you know has had any kind of contact with type 3, other than rumours that they moved away, and did something unnoteworthy.

las-lus said: About elsewhere university: Kids who dont notice time running slower because "fuck, isnt this how it usually runs in calculus' class?". Kids who Starr drawing weird shit on their notebooks and their friends dont know if its from that weird geometry class, if they started a new drawing style of If they've been abducted. Im majoring in physics and really I cant stop thinking How hard would It be for us to notice If our friends had been taken

kass-king-of-sass said: Hi, just wanted to say your stuff for elsewhere university is amazing. I don't know if you're still accepting stuff and I've never submitted an ask like this before but here goes. I've been imagining mischievous or angered fae living in residence halls and playing tricks on the inhabitants. Pulling the fire alarm at 2 am, locking people out of their rooms, messing with the thermostats, burning food in the microwaves, things like that. All the hallmarks of a bad roommate but with a fae twist.

Anon said: There are certain alleys on campus that, on some nights, lead to faerie pavilions. If you bring them an offering, the fair folk will let you dance with them and will not harm you as long as you don't eat the food and leave before dawn.

Anon said: Oh, oh! I'm an interior design/architect student! Just imagining all the little tricks of the eyes that you could learn from the fae and then implement in human design is so exciting!

Anon said: sorry im sure youre getting a veritable INFLUX these days but imagine: student at Elsewhere whose parents' expectations have guided them into med/law/some other 'esteemed' course but theyre secretly into/good at art or singing or something. the fae would have such good sport luring them away after they sang under their breath in the wrong part of campus or one of their pages of doodling got blown in the breeze out of the window :3:3

Anon said: A freshman who lives off campus in her own apartment but Knows more than any other freshman or off campus student. She smiles and speaks carefully eyes always watching she goes by a name that's familiar to some until one night at a party she challenges one of Them to a game of 21. She drops 2 pictures on the table one of 2 girls a younger her and dark haired girl with a duffle bag in her hands and the other is of the dark haired girl with a boy who has empty eyes. "I want to see my sister again"

Anon said: In the end, it turns out she was never any different from you. She just happens to be from Iceland, just happened to have grown up with Gentry in her garden and the sea in her back yard. The one place where one lives with Them in the mountains, the one place where even the government respect Them. She never needed salt, she had hemmed her skirts with rocks and painted her nails with volcanic ashes. You conclude that international students can be just as foreign as the Fae (3/3)

Anon said: A student invested in geopolitics strikes a deal; "Give me the power to stop the corporate damming and I'll make sure no human ever nears the Nile". After all, the fae doesn't care whether their actions hurt the humans, and the student now posses unprecedented bargaining chip against at least four different governments

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