#i had to put this in my drafts bc my computer was crashing and I had to restart it BUT I GOT TO SAVE IT AT LEAST ty ty tungle dear <3 ✨😖

[obionekboneme]

Looking for feedback

So basically I decided to make my own Eddie fic bc i’m not a huge fan of smut and 90% of Eddie fics are smut but idk if my writing is very good or if this idea I have is worth finishing. Basically I’m a sucker for slow burns and enemies to lovers so I thought this would be a fun way to approach that but the burn is incredibly slow and I intend there to be multiple parts. If anyone would read through this very rough draft and tell me what they think or if they’d wanna read more I would super appreciate it. 

You considered yourself a relatively peaceful person. Your friend group was relatively minimal. Robin and Steve weren’t exactly your friends, but you found yourself comfortable with them after frequenting Family Video so often. Every week you’d take days to decide what your next rental would be. This week was Ghoulies. 

As soon as the final bell rang you were off to your locker. Grabbing books and putting others back. After slamming the locker and spinning around you almost ran into someone. Someone with hair long enough to tickle your nose if you were to accidentally crash into their chest. Someone whose pin got stuck in your hair, a realization that came after you jerked your head back. 

“Woah take a breather there.” Your victim The stranger said when your eyes shot up to his wide brown ones. He was kinda cute.

His fingers met yours as you both tried to release your hair from his pin.

“Ya know your pins are at the perfect height for someones hair to get caught in.” You warn him slightly joking slightly annoyed.

“Well you should know if you look both ways you won’t run into people, I hope that isn’t how you cross streets.”

A humph suffices as a response and you recenter your focus on your knot. Soon enough you’re free from the vicious pin and you take a step back, missing the closeness. 

“Thank you for the help, I’m sorry to be rude but I’m really in a hurry!” You essentially yell over your shoulder as you dart off, accidentally knocking into a second person but this time running into their shoulder instead of chest of pins. 

It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to the kinda cute stranger. It’s just that Fridays at the video store were their busiest day and if someone got to Ghoulies before you it would take forever to choose a new movie. Decisions weren’t your forte. 

Unlocking the bike you jumped on the seat and blasted off, coincidentally rushing past your long haired victim stranger. Out of breath and covered in sweat from stepping up your speed to accommodate the interruption you arrived at Family Video at last. The parking lot was almost barren aside from a black van parked near the entrance.

Fingers were crossed as you walked to the horror section. The store was relatively empty, you beat the after school rush. All signs looked good so far, or at least they did until you rounded the corner to go to the G-K section and were met with the stranger from earlier. His head was down as he intensely stared at the two tapes in hand. Not able to decide if it’d be better to greet him or ignore him as you looked for your movie, you decided to circle back. You took a detour through the comedy section and by the time you got back your beloved horror section was empty. To your horror so was the area Ghoulies should have been. What sick bastard did this? 

“How could you do this to me.” Was what Robin got as a greeting from you.

“Do what? I just got here, I haven’t done anything to you.” She responded not looking up from the computer she was typing at.

“You rented Ghoulies. I called you last night and told you all about how hard this decision was for me. You promised you wouldn’t let anything happen to it, you promised!” Your theatrics were more a source of entertainment than genuine. 

“I did no such thing. Like I said, I just got here. Steve’s been here all day, if anyones to blame it’s him.” 

Heartbroken you turned back to the horror aisle. Your replacement wouldn’t entirely fill the void that had ripped open inside of you, but it would work for now.

The week dragged on slower than ever before, but finally Friday arrived. This time you made sure to look before sprinting, not wanting to repeat the same mistake from last Friday. You got to Family Video at record speed and threw your bike to the ground, not even bothering to lock it. 

Before the door could close behind you, Steve shattered your heart.

“It’s not here.”

“What do you mean, ‘It’s not here’, Steve?!” 

“They haven’t returned it yet. The late fees do not look pretty. I’m sorry there’s nothing that can be done.” Steve clearly didn’t understand the importance of the situation.

“Bullshit, Steve, give me their address. I’ll take care of those late fees.”

“Oh and what exactly are you going to do?” He retorted.

“I’m gonna use that bat you gave me and I’m going to take their knees, then while they’re writhing in pain I’ll grab the tape.” 

By the second week desperation had set in. To prepare for Friday you did random jobs like writing peoples essays to save up money. If Ghoulies wasn’t there you’d bribe Steve with it, but if Ghoulies was there you’d get extra snacks to properly celebrate. 

However your plan was ruined when you got there to see neither Steve or Robin behind the counter. The manager replaced your beloved friends. When he delivered the news that Ghoulies had yet to be returned you tried to make a joke about bribing him for the address. He was unamused. 

By the third week you decided you had to change your approach. Falling against the locker next to Robins and placing a hand over your heart you groaned.

“Robin, please, I need to see this movie. I wasn’t even that invested but the longer I wait the more the anticipation builds. If I go another week theres no way this movie will be able to meet my high expectations. Then I’ll watch the movie and be disappointed. All that waiting, all that effort, just to hate the movie!” You cried to her.

“I’m not telling you who has it. I’m a professional.” She replied back.

Letting out an even louder longer groan you peeled off of the locker. You were about to plead with Robin some more when you spotted someone walking with their backpack left open. You let out a gasp when you also noticed the prized VHS tape you’ve been drooling over the past 3 weeks. 

“No worries Robin, I think I just figured it out myself.” You said as you picked up a light jog to catch up to the thief person walking away.

“Hey! Your backpacks open.” You decided to play it nice, if you needed to you could bring out the bad cop.

As you got closer you started to recognize the long majestic hair. When he turned around you recognized the denim vest full of pins. When you made eye contact you recognized the brown eyes. 

#wip #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #slow burn #enemies to lovers

[liesoverthec]

OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 1

Hi folks! Welcome to my post of character details for fic writers or really anyone who wants to know! All of these details come directly from the show - they’re just things I picked up on watching the show on intense repeat for screen time, so the details are about as canon as they can get. Some of them, like addresses, come from an specific episode, while others are trends I’ve picked up on. If you want a “citation” for a fact let me know and I can provide one if it exists!

I tried to include a good range of information between the 7 main characters, so that it was available for anyone.

I’m going to keep making these posts every time I get enough details collected so you can find them all under “911 canon character details” in the future! I’m committed to rewatching the whole series again for the regulars’ screen time, so I’ll be making more of these posts throughout the summer. If there’s something in particular you’d like to know, let me know and I can keep an eye out for it.

Things I noticed that might be interesting character details, part 1:

Athena and Bobby live at 1810 Fallsgrove St.

Eddie lives at 4995 S Bedford St Apt 403 (Julia made this fantastic post of the layout of Eddie’s house, and I’ve spent my own significant amount of time trying to work it out, so when I say this layout is spot on, I really mean it). (I believe this is more of a duplex situation - ie he has other neighbors attached to his outside walls, but no downstairs or upstairs neighbors.)

(These two locations are 8 minutes apart, which I personally thought was vvvvvv useful if you wanted to have someone rush from one place to another - also makes me think the 118 would be close to that neighborhood.)

Chim and Maddie live in apartment 2B. It’s a one-bedroom apartment, so currently Jee-Yun is sleeping in their room with them. I’ll be curious to know if they move as she gets older or if they magically spring up a bedroom for her - I just know there isn’t one at the moment bc Albert slept on their couch first, and then when he was injured, THEY slept on the couch.

Buck has two bathrooms! There’s one immediately to the left as you walk in his front door, and then one up in the loft, off the platform. Which I thought was a large number of bathrooms for a loft since it’s such a small space, but useful for when Christopher is visiting I suppose...

The hospital they go to for personal stuff is First Presbyterian. They’ve only started featuring its name prominently this season, but it’s the same waiting room and ER they’ve been using since s2, so I’d assume it’s also in the same neighborhood, since it’s fictional.) It’s on Altamont Street.

Given that you can see the Cecil Hotel from Michael’s apartment, I’d assume he either lives on S Spring St or S Los Angeles St. Either way he’s about twice as far from Athena and Bobby as Eddie is, and in the opposite direction.

Alcohol preferences - Athena prefers white wine, but will also drink rose and red, Hen drinks red and beer but doesn’t do it socially as much as everyone else, Chim is p much strictly beer unless it’s a fancy dinner (or tequila if he really wants to get drunk), Maddie prefers white wine, Buck drinks beer or white wine, and Eddie is a beer dude, red wine if it’s a fancy occasion (this is what they choose if they have a choice like at a bar, or if they’re hosting - eg when Athena hosts, EVERYONE drinks white because that’s what she’d choose.)

Eddie does not have the Hildy coffee maker on his kitchen counter - he still has an older model that only makes coffee.

He also likes to decorate in the color turquoise! (Maybe Shannon liked turquoise so that’s what he tends to buy?? That’s your decision, there’s just a lot of it in his kitchen. Also, his laptop case is turquoise!)

Hen gets a new pair of glasses every year. (Which means she’s doing better than me, I only get a new pair when I lose the old ones ����)

Athena has two big diamond rings, and she wears one on each of her ring fingers (Bobby has good taste). She does not wear her rings while working.

Bobby has a gold wedding band for home, and wears a black silicone ring at work.

Hen wears her wedding ring all the time, and it’s a plain silver band.

Eddie had a gold wedding band while he was married to Shannon, and he wore it while on active duty in the Army (even during the helicopter crash). He is wearing it after Shannon leaves, but he takes it off before he comes to LA. His St. Christopher’s medal is silver with a navy border, hanging on a silver chain.

Chim prefers the short sleeve uniform. He really never wears the long sleeved one.

Eddie likes soft jazz, and will play it in the background during dinner. Idk if it’s his favorite type of music, but he likes it enough to put it on.

Buck has a picture of the ocean (I think? it’s definitely some sort of landscape) in his work locker - no other photos currently. Eddie has also been seen using this same locker.

Everyone has an iPhone and if they have a computer, it’s a Mac (this one is just bc capitalism - the show is sponsored by Apple). Hen has a red phone case, and Maddie has a navy one with gold trim, everyone else’s is super boring black/navy.

Maddie’s contact for Chim is “Howie” in her phone.

In Eddie’s phone, his contact for Buck is just “Buck”.

Bobby is just “Bobby” in Buck’s phone.

Christopher’s current interests are space and dinosaurs. And gaming!

In addition to Eddie and Albert, Chim also seems to like baseball, going off the jersey on his wall.

Every time we’ve seen Buck and Eddie drive somewhere together, Buck has driven and Eddie took the passenger seat.

Both Eddie and the Wilsons have a fireplace in their living room with framed photos of their kids at various ages.

Karen is a doctor! It’s a PhD, so she couldn’t join the team as a medic, but it does make them the future Drs Wilson. Her specialization is something to do w/ physics or chemistry etc, b/c she worked on a project for JPL on Mars, so you can run with that.

Michael is an architect, and David is a neurosurgeon who can help with emergency medicine.

Work masks: Bobby, Maddie and Athena prefer masks with a loop over each ear, while Eddie, Chim, Buck and Hen use the ones with two straps behind the head. Everyone uses the two ear loop ones for personal time.

Buck sleeps with socks on.

I hope the start to this list met up to your expectations, but if you’re looking for more then it will be on the way soon! I just wanted to get this first set out (plus it was looking a little long in my drafts 😂)

Lots of love!

🐝

Tagging: @imaginebuck

#911 fox #9-1-1 #911 on fox #911 canon character details #athena grant #bobby nash #maddie buckley #evan buckley #hen wilson #chimney han #eddie diaz #buddie #bathena #madney #henren #userac #alcohol

[noir-porker-parker-holland]

O.O

Ben Hardy x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k of fluff bc it seems im incapable of writing anything else

Summary: You were joe’s Bff and he introduced you to Ben, needless to say sparks fly and MIckey was involved

A/n: My asks are always open so you can request something or asked to be added to my tags . Or for shit’s and giggles you can just say something.  wow i sound desperate -----

Being Joe's Best friend had it perks. For one, you were usually his date for events if he didn't already have one. He'd invite you to set every so often. You also got to me a bunch of actors that you looked up to. You were an English major and was trying to be a writer, so everytime you needed a character that was in showbiz, you'd implement things from real life into your story. Or implement different personality traits from different people you've met.

Currently you, were writing-or more like trying to begin to write a novel.

You had a character named, Noah. He had the classic fuckboy look, but was actually a very shy,introverted person. You were looking for a very specific personality traits that seems to be rare in most people so you were stuck at your computer on a Wednesday afternoon, thinking about different characters you've seen in a movie or read about that acts like Noah. But Noah is a unique character that can't be copied, or so it seemed.

You groaned while getting up from your seat at the table to walk to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. At that moment, a knock hit the door. You groaned again knowing you'd have to walk to the door to open it. You were met with your best friend's face in the doorway looking more excited hat usual. “Hey Joe,” you said letting the boy in. “Y/n do you remember that movie I auditioned for a while back?” He asked. “the biopic about a band or something?” You asked,  he nodded, “it was a Queen biopic. But i just got a call. And I got the part!!” He shouted. You looked at him and smiled, “congrats buddy.” You sat back down at your table, looking at the screen once again before evidently rubbing your eyes frustratedly. “Writer's block?” He asked. “I have a character, Noah that has a particular personality traits but I can't seem to perfect his character.” You said.

Just then, a light bulb shone above Joe's head. “Why don't you come to set with me in a couple of weeks and maybe you can meet some people to base the character off of.” He suggested. You looked at him with wide eyes. “Bro, that would be amazing!” You said coming over to hug him. You closed your laptop and got ready for a fun day with your bestie.

----

A couple weeks passed and you forgot about Joe taking you set. Your story, sat there on your laptop unopened because you knew you'd just waste time looking at the screen. So you wrote a bunch of short stories, poems, etc in your free time. As you finished up a short story you had in mind, your phone rang and a silly picture of you and Joe flashed across the screen. “Hey Joe, what's up?” You said. “Hey y/n, I'm on set right now and I was wondering if you wanted to come tomorrow?” he asked, voices were evident in the background. You didn't have class tomorrow nor were you working so it worked out perfectly. “Yeah, I'm totally free so you'd pick me up?” You said. “Yeah, around 8-ish.” He said. You nodded though he couldn't see you. “Alright see you then.” You said ending the call.

You tried to remember all that he told you about this movie, “it's a biopic about Queen” and that's when it hit you. Queen was your all time favorite band and you brushed that minor little detail off as though it was nothing. Needless to say, thra minor detail made you extremely anxious for what would come tomorrow.

----

Tomorrow- or today now, came quite quickly. You were up at 7 in order to get ready for when Joe came. You put on some black acid washed jeans, a graphic tee, and some black doc martens and packed your backpack with your laptop, a sketchbook because you had notes on it, and some other stuff. As you finished off your makeup for the day, Joe knocked on the door. You put your lipstick, phoen, charger, etc in your bag and went to leave. “Hey kid,” Joe's said. You chuckled. You were quite younger that him, you only knew him because your brother was dating his sister and when you met him you two be and friends. But I've the many years you've known him, he's acted like he was the exact same age as you.

You hopped into Joe's car and left for set. Throughout the entire car ride it was you and Joe singing along to queen songs, or you two just crashing up on what was happening in each of your lives.

“So y/n no new boy news?” Joe asked out of the blue. You snickered, “ha as though that would ever happen.” You said. He looked at you with an incredulous look, “shut up. Stop doubting yourself. You are going to find a man, and hopefully it will be by my doing but either way you will find a guy to at least spend some of your life with.” he said. You looked at him, “has that worked out in the past? No.” You said. Your previous relationship ended in your ex saying that the girl sucking his dick was only performing a 'service’ and that he felt nothing towards her whatsoever. And that resulted in her slapping him, and saying “you said you loved me!” Before gathering her shit and leaving. Which led to you breaking it off with him. So, that's why you don't necessarily trust guys.

Soon enough, you were at set and Joe was leading you to where the magic happens. “Hey Joe!” You heard someone exclaim but you were too busy letting your eyes explore all the things around you. “Oh y/n this is Gwilym Lee he plays Brian may,” Joe introduced. Gwilym stuck his hand out for you to shake and you gladly took it, mumbling a 'hello nice to meet you’ to the very tall man. “Ah, My love!” You heard Joe exclaim which prompted you to turn to look at 'his love’. “Hello Joe,” a blonde headed man said. Even though he didn't know him, you were about to steal 'his love’. “Oh Ben,” Joe started. So his name's Ben, cute. “This is my best friend, y/n.” You took Ben's outstretched hand and you felt his gaze on you linger a bit longer than usual. Gwilym and Joe exchanged a look before saying they were needed somewhere else, leaving you and Ben alone together. “So Ben who do you play?” You asked. “uh, Roger Taylor.” He said timidly. You both stood there quite awkwardly before you opened your mouth to speak again. “Hey I'm can you tell me where Joe's trailer is? I need to get some writing done.” You said. “Oh yeah sure, btu you're a writer?” He asked. You nodded, “I'm writing a novel right know- or at least trying to.” He looked your way while leading you. “Why do you say that?” He asked. “Writer's block is a bitch. I can't seem to find a right personality traits for one of my characters and it sucks.” You explained. “Well can I read what you have so far? Once we get in the trailer.” He asked, you nodded.

The rest of the walk to Joe's trailer was quite awkward and quiet. Albeit, Ben is great company but you just met him and he's a bit shy. He opened the door for you and you entered Joe's trailer. You sat down on the couch and Ben was next to you. A reasonable distance way but you didn't mind if he were to scoot closer. You opened up the document on your laptop and placed it on Ben's lap so he could read.

“Wow,” he started. “But?” “But there's a lot of talk about Noah but he hasn't been introduced so…” he trailer off. You nodded your head slowly, “Noah was the character I was having trouble with. Couldn't seem to find the right trait for him, you know?” He nodded.

You both stayed in the trailer till it was Ben's turn to go shoot his scenes. Then you were left alone with not even Joe to keep you company. Just then the door swung up revealing a blonde lady. “Joe! I- oh hello. Are you here with his?” She asked. You nodded, “hi, I'm y/n Joe's friend.” She shook your outstretched hand, “I'm Lucy. I play Mary in the movie.” She explained. “Can I just say that I'm living for this outfit right now.” Lucy complemented. “Why thank you, that so kind you to say.” You said. “Well I need to go shoot some scene but I hope to talk to you a bit later. Bye.”

And with that she left.

By the time Joe said to meet for lunch you were almost done editing your first draft of a short story. He texted you saying to meet at his trailer so you figured you wouldn't need to move. “Hey y/n, have a nice time with ben?” He said wiggling his eyebrows. You nodded, “yes as a matter of fact I did.”

“What did you guys do together?” He asked, you knew exactly where this was going. “Well, I showed him my short stories and told him about my character dilemma, and no we did not hook up Joe.” You said. His cheeky smile soon melted into a visible pout that you couldn't help but laugh at.

Lunch was normal with Joe, no talk about Ben whatsoever. Joe showed you some videos of him practicing the bass. Overall, it was a good lunch. Joe went back to set but you had to go home. Your brother had asked you to babysit his year old daughter and well how were you going to decline to the face of your niece. But it would be ok because Joe would stop by later anyway.

You took an Uber home and awaited your niece by making dinner for later. The bell to your apartment rang and there was you brother holding his daughter in his arms. “Hey y/n.” He said.”thank you so much for watching her for the night. It feels good to have a night out by ourselves for once.” You chuckled. “Must be good.” You said. “Ah, it is.” He sighed before leaving.

The baby in your arms fussed and you out her on the floor in front of the TV so she could roam around while you called Joe. “Hey y/n, I have to ask are we still on for tonight?” he asked. “yeah that's what I called to tell you-” you were soon cut off by the sound of Mickey's cries. You picked her up and held her against you chest while you talked to Joe. “I'm babysitting my niece, is that ok?” You asked. “Yeah of course. I highly doubt a baby is going to put a damper on tonight. Well they're calling me back to set so bye.”

The day went by quick with Mickey. She wasn't ass fussy after you continuously held her. Like most girls she just wants a hug. There was a knock at the door and you could only assume it was Joe. When you opened it, Ben was standing there. Cheeky Joe, you thought. “Hey Ben,” you said. “Where’s joe?” You led him inside. “Oh he couldn’t make it. Said something about a date with his TV,” He told you. “But um, who’s this?” He motioned to the baby in your arms.

“Oh this is my niece Mickey. I’m babysitting her for tonight.” You said, as he nodded. “So, what exactly do you and joe do on movie night besides watching a movie?” He asked.

You walked to the kitchen with Mickey starting to fuss in your arms once again. “Well uh-” Your sentence was cut off with Mickey starting to cry. Oh lord, you thought. You tried to calm her down but that didn’t seem to do anything. Ben walked towards you and mickey with his hands out “Here let me take her,” You handed him the crying child and suddenly her cried came to an abrupt stop. She nuzzled into him like she did to you moments before. “Thanks.” You said. “Me and joe usually eat dinner then go to the couch to watch movies.”

He nodded as he said down on the stool, and Mickey closing her eyes. “Do you guys like cuddle and stuff?” He asked, going slightly red. “If we’ve had a shit day. Or we just want to.” You said. He nodded.

Dinner went off without a hitch and not you were sitting on the couch with ben on your left, scrolling through netflix to try and find something to watch. You finally found something and you got comfortable under some blankets.

Half way through the movie, ben asked something that had been bugging him since dinner. “Y/n?” you hummed in response. “Do you want to cuddle or something?” He took your silence as a no and started saying things as an excuse. “You don’t have to. Was just wondering-” He was cut off by you nuzzling into his side. “Seems like Mickey is asleep. I’m going to take her to the room.” You said getting up and taking sleeping Mickey with you.

You came back and found ben lying down on the couch. He made room for you and you two were cuddling. As in, you were almost completely on top of him. His arm snaked around your waist but it was ok. He draped a blanket over the two of you and you sighed contently.

You opened your eyes and looked at the clock 2:47 A.M. You looked up and saw a sleeping Ben. You both must’ve fell asleep. He stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes to see you sleepily looking back at him. “I better go, it’s late as it is.” He said. “Stay.” You said. “It’s late and well at least here you can go back to sleep immediately.” He nodded and you led him to your bedroom. Mickey was still asleep so you put her in the bassinet that you kept in your house just in case you had to babysit. You tossed Ben a pair of sweats that were always too big for you, to sleep in. He had decided against the shirt because it was too warm for it and you couldn’t disagree. You were currently clad in tiny shorts and a t shirt.

You went to the bathroom and brushed your teeth and when you came back Ben was sitting on your bed on his phone. He saw you walking into the room and got into bed. You slid in with him and weren’t sure if the cuddling still applied to sleeping next to each other so you settled with staring at the ceiling. “Are you going to want to cuddle again?” He asked. You turned and nuzzled your face into his bare chest.

----

You woke up to Ben's sleeping face quite close to yours.  Your hand was on his abs closer to an undisclosed place, if you know what I mean. Your head was nuzzled into his neck. His arm was wrapped protectively around your waist. Your legs tangled together. You wished you could stay like that forever. But he wasn't yours.

You could easily say after all the time you spent with Ben, you developed feelings. I mean who wouldn't. He's kind, funny, smart, and good looking. But did he like you was the question.

You thoughts about ben were quickly replaced by the sound of Mickey's crying, which evidently woke up Ben. You sprang out of bed going to the bassinet to where Mickey was and picking her up. You went to the living room to grab her bag but you just changes her there so you could spare Ben the shitshow. Literally.

You carried Mickey back to the room and you just decided to lay down with her next to Ben. Ben was already awake but you figured you should probably stay quiet because it was seven in the morning too early. Ben didn't have to go to set so he could sleep in, even if it was in your bed. “Morning.” Ben said once you got comfortable with Mickey laying on your chest. “Morning.” You said. Mickey fussed and you thought she was going to cry again so you sat up so you could rock her in your arms. But she started to make grabby hands at the man next to you. You looked back and forth from Ben to Mickey and figured that was probably what she wanted. Ben opened this eyes and saw Mickey trying to grab at him. “Seems as though she wants you.” You giggled slightly. He grabbed her out of your hands and sat up next to you. “wouldn't be the first time right Mick?” He said. You shoved his bare shoulder slightly and scoffed at his remark. “Uh do you want to eat with me?” You asked. He looked at you like you put all the stars in the sky. “Yeah, I'd like that.

You both went downstairs and Ben was still playing with Mickey as you made breakfast. There was a knock at the door and Ben went to go answer it. “Y/n somebody is here for you.” He said. You made your way to the door, and was met with your brother. “Hey Chris.” You said. “Oh uh, Chris this Ben.” You weren't sure how to address your relationship to your brother. Or lack thereof. They shook hands and he handed Mickey to him. You grabbed her bag and off he went with his child. “So,” he said, feeling as though the atmosphere between you turned awkward. “Hey uh, j was wondering if you wanted to on a date with me sometime?” He asked. You froze at the stove. You turned to him, and nodded. He smiled, “well uh I don't have to go to set today, maybe we could go out tonight?” He asked. “Yeah, I'd like that. Thought we did kind of do this backwards.” He looked at you confused. “I don't usually let a guy sleep with me before taking me out.” He smiled. “Hmm but either way I get to go out on a date with you so does it matter if we slept together beforehand?” He said. You had walked closer to him and now your faces we're here lunches away from each other. You looked to his lips and back and him, he noticed the motion and didn't waste any time placing his lips on yours. The kiss was sweet. It was better than you'd ever had before. You pulled away breathless. “Wow.” You said. “Yeah.”

“Do it again.”

----

That day was etched in both your minds and was single handedly the best day of your lives besides the day of your wedding. But that day was soon become number two in both your minds, because the birth of your son, Nicky was about to be number one. Nicky was two days old and he was one of the greatest things that had happened in your lives.

After that day, the day you exchanged your first kiss with Ben, you went on to date Ben for 3 years before getting married. When Ben had to leave for shooting after your wedding and honeymoon it was harder to let him go. But when he came back, you both went at it like rabbits. It was hard to pinpoint when you actually conceived Nicky but you were glad it happened. 

After your wedding, you finally wrote Noah into your novel, given you forgot about him for years. You implemented ben’s personality into Noah and now your book was reaching number one. Congrats!

You were glad lots of things happened. If it weren't for Joe introducing you to Ben none of that would've happened.

There was a knock on the door of the room where you, Ben, and now Nicky were kept while you recovered from and 18 hour labor plus delivery. Ben went to answer the door and in came Roger, Brian, Joe, and Lucy. “Hello you guys,” you heard one of them say. Lucy came over to you and kissed your forehead. “Rami sends his congrats but he couldn't leave the states for another week.” She said. You nodded in acknowledgement and looked down at the now awake baby in your arms. “Congrats you two.” Roger said patting been on the shoulder. “He kind of reminds me of Felix when he was born. Did you cry when he was born? He asked. “like a baby.” You answered for him. “So did I.” Brian hugged Ben, and said to him “I cried for all my children. And boy, seeing them born was just this feeling that you can't explain but feels amazing.” Brian said.

Joe came over to your side of the bed and kissed on the forehead like Lucy. “So do we have a name? Kinda hoping it's Joe. But just wondering.” He said.

Ben sat next to you, and said “his name is Nicholas Joseph Meddows Jones.” He squeezed your shoulder as he saw both Roger's and Joe's mouth form and 'o’ shape and their eyes widening like saucers. “They used our names. “Joe said hugged Roger before bawling like a baby. “Wow. You used out names. That means so much to us.” Roger said tearing up.

“We also have one more surprise. Since Roger you have been Ben's mentor for such a long time and we couldn't have done it without you, we'd like to make you a godfather.” You said he covered his mouth with his hands and kept saying 'oh my god’. “As well as Joe. Joe we wouldn't have ever met if it weren't for you and we are eternally grateful. I mean without you, we would have never met, dated, gotten married, or had this beautiful baby boy. So we thank you. So will you both be Nicky's godfather?” Ben asked. They nodded frantically as they hugged Ben and started to cry. You took the moment to lean over to Lucy and say, you're the godmother to the next baby.” You winked. And she smiled.

This moment, this was a moment you'd never forget. You're favorite people in a room, (Gwilym and Rami were in the states doing press for a movie they were in).

In three years you'd be here again, welcoming your daughter Lucille May Jones, or Lucy May Jones into the world.

But until then, you have to settle on this life changing moment, with the people you loved. But either way you wouldn't have it any other way.

-----

Tags:

@sleepybesson @shewantstobreakfree @ixchel-9275

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy fluff #joe mazzello #best friend!joe #ben hardy x oc #ben #roger taylor #gwilym lee #lucy boynton #rami malek #ben hardy angst #ben hardy one shots

[theblekromantik]

Rebirth -- 1 

a/n: hello loves! ive written somethinnnnnnnngg im kinda excited about it bc i struggle with writing usually but i wrote this quicker than everything else ive done. i hope you enjoy! (dont mind while i flex my four years of french on you lol)

word count: 1.1k

warnings: none

post-infinity war! pre-endgame! oc!reina fennel

“Ugh!” The woman exclaims. In front of her, there is an open document, which is blank except for a word written in a small front:  « Sans titre » and under it, « Reina Fennel ».

Wide shot. The room is dark except for the glowing light of the computer and subtle streaks of dusk creeping in from closed blinds. And further, there are coffee cups. Several coffee mugs. Some tall, some short, some knocked over, some resting on unconventional surfaces, like the fish tank across the room. Reina shifts in her seat, and papers crumble: the scrapped ideas of yesterday rendering only useful as an uncomfortable seat cushion. It is clear that she has been at this for a considerable amount of time, perhaps days.

She exclaims once more, and BANG! Her hand goes on the smooth metal of the computer’s surface. She holds her head in her hands, pulling at the satin scarf tied around her hair.

I need a break, Reina tells herself, deciding to ignore the draft altogether. Rubbing her tired eyes, she emerges from her place on the couch and heads to the kitchen. She waters the small succulents on the small windowsill before filling the kettle and putting it on the hot stove. This is her life. And as mundane as it is, Reina loves it. She’s a plant mother, and there’s no duty more rewarding that.

KNOCK! KNOCK! Zoom on the door to her apartment.

She scrunches her eyebrows, curious as to who may be at the door, for since after The Great War, Reina decided to move out of the country to someplace on the outskirts of Paris. And she rarely had visitors.

« Qui est là ? » She inquires, grabbing a wooden baseball bat from behind the fridge and creeping her way to the door.

No response.

« Allô ? » But still, nothing. She grips the bat even tighter, her hands sure to form callouses the next day.

The knob to the door begins shaking as a dull whirring begins to sound from the outside.

Slowly, she begins to reach for the handle, but –

BOOM! The door bursts from its hinges on the wall and makes a deafening splat onto the ground. And through the specks of dust, there is nothing other than a battered robot with an “A” imprinted onto its left breast. The Avengers A. And subsequently, Tony Stark, appears from behind it. Grey hair grows from his temples and the wrinkles adjacent to his eyes have only become deeper, more prominent as he smiles a tight smile at her.

“Took you long enough,” He remarks, entering her home by stepping onto the fallen door.

“T-Tony?” Reina stammers, the bat colliding with the ground.

It has been years since she saw him last. Since her friends had been evaporated into nothing but dust. And in these years, Rei tried to put the past behind her, purging the memories and nightmares of Thanos snapping his golden-clad thumb, Vision taking his last breath before exploding into thin air, and the grasslands of Wakanda no longer green and vibrant but drenched in red blood. Not only the blood of her enemies, but also her own teammates. And she succeeded. She really did, becoming a writer at a popular French newspaper, Le Parisien. But Tony’s presence sends all of it crashing back, an ache forming in her mind.

Looking back at her, he shrugs, “I’ll have it replaced.”

Beat. Tony says, “I love what you’ve done with the place. Real homey.”

She should respond, but the words are trapped in her throat. So, she stares, studying him as he walks from her kitchen to her living area, picking up pictures in their frames along the way.

“Well,” He begins. “You’re welcome. You know, this is no way to treat a guest, Rei.”

But she can only look at him with disbelief. “How did you find me?”

He doesn’t answer. “I really do love what you have here, Rei, really.” A decoration on the wall catches his eye. “See! A poster that says,” He picks it up, « Ècrire, c’est une façon de parler sans être interrompu. » You’re a writer now? You? Assassin to…writer is quite a demotion, don’t you think?” 

Zoom on the kettle as it screeches loudly from the kitchen, but Reina doesn’t break her concentration on the man.    

“How did you find me?” She repeats, growling, each word more ferocious than the last.

“You can’t expect that it was difficult. I mean, with my technology and the fact that you didn’t even change your name…You must’ve wanted me to find you. Tea?” Tony sets two mugs on the kitchen table and pours them full of green tea.

“If I did, I would’ve never left. Now leave.”

“Can’t, sorry.”

“I swear, if you don’t leave, I’m calling the police.” Heat brews within her, her skin becoming hot.

“You can’t call the police if you don’t have a phone, N’est-ce pas?” He, with his head, instructs the robot to cut the cord connected to her landline.

“Then I’ll go.” Reina grabs her black leather jacket from the coatrack and makes her way to the door. She shrugs it on, the cool of the jacket doing little to pacify her.

“Stop her,” he orders the robot, it blocking the space in front of the entryway. “You have to hear me out.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“Please,” he begs, his voice full of desperation, “Just sit.”

Reina eyes him, dubiously. She hadn’t seen Tony this distressed since before the battle, in his lab, sleep deprived, scanning over mission strategies and sketches for new weapons and uniforms. But finally—

She sits from across him, cupping the steaming mug of tea.

It is silent, the only sound the buzzling streets of Paris.

“Why are you here?” Reina probed, her eyes piercing into his, searching for an answer to this disruption. Truly, she didn’t want to know, for she feared the answer would further complicate her life, the life created for herself as a normal person, free from the burden of defending the human race from whatever domestic or galactic threat came its way.

“We have a problem. And I need your help.” There it is.

Reina didn’t care about what he needed. The day left she knew what she was leaving behind. She couldn’t stand the pain and grief painted her teammates faces, knowing that everyone gone would never come back. The only thing she regretted leaving was Steve, her heart throbbing every time she thought of him and the love they shared. But after a year, that feeling faded.  She convinced herself that it was all for the best. They all just had to understand that she was never going back.

She marches to her the bedroom—

“Reina!”

—and shuts the door.

.

.

.

.

  Sans titre – without title; untitled

Qui est là ? – Who’s there?

Allô ? – hello?

Ècrire, c’est une façon de parler sans être interrompu. -- Writing is a way to talk without being interrupted. (Jules Renard)

N’est-ce pas ? – isn’t it so?; right?

#oc!reina fennel #marvel #infinity war #original character #post-infinity war #avengers #avengers x reader #endgame #pre-endgame #black!oc #black!reader #poc! #poc!reader #black woman reader #black #marvel fandom #kris writes

[fadedtoblue]

NYCC 2018 Daredevil Season 3 Clips: Spoilers abound!

Sorry this is a little late - I had drafted everything on mobile but I couldn’t do read more cuts and figured it was worth waiting until I was back at my computer, just in case. I don’t want to spoil anyone who is actually trying to avoid that stuff.

Anyway, this is a Very Spoilery write up of the clips we saw at NYCC the other day. Pardon any errors or nonsense - I wrote this quite late the other evening and no mobile no less. I might be a little bit fuzzy on certain specifics right now but the major beats should be covered! I’ve also tried to match up screengrabs from the released trailers to add context. Read at your own risk under the cut...

Clip #1: Matt and Maggie

Scene opens with two little boys poking around a disgruntled Matt who is lying in bed. We soon find out that these are little boys who live at St. Agnes, the orphanage Matt himself grew up in, and where he is apparently convalescing. Sister Maggie comes in to shoo them off - she comes off as very strict and humorless, which comes into play when she starts chatting with Matt as she’s redressing his wounds. They talk about he was young and he was her charge at the orphanage. They also talk about Matt being the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen (he had to have been dropped off in his costume I guess!) and go into a back and forth about his senses and how it all works. Maggie also emphasizes to Matt that since he’s mostly healed, he’ll need to find another place to stay.

Clip #2: Karen and Foggy

Karen and Foggy are having a hushed conversation in the Nelson family butcher shop. Karen thinks Matt might be alive because she’s heard about some guy in a black mask running around town. Foggy firmly disagrees, implying that it’s not possible, and this whole thing is clearly a sore subject for them. Karen asks something like don’t you want to be sure that this isn’t your best friend running around out is there and Foggy seems resigned, saying that if that were actually his best friends, then Matt would have come to them already. Karen leaves, upset.

Clip #3: Special Agent Nadeem and Fisk

This is inside the prison, Nadeem and Fisk sit across each other at a table. Nadeem starts to give some FBI spiel as but stops part way, thinking this whole thing with Fisk is nothing more than a charade. Fisk doesn’t see it that way, and launches into a speech about how he’s been willing to pay the debt on his crimes, but he refuses to accept that the person he loves (Vanessa) should pay for those crimes too. I can’t remember that particulars now, but this is basically when Fisk asks to strike a deal - he’ll become an informant in exchange for a Vanessa’s safety.

Clip #4: Matt vs. FBI

The scene opens inside a car, which happens to belong to Big Ben Donavan; Matt lurks menacingly behind the drivers seat while Ben is unaware. Matt then pulls a cord across Ben’s neck and threatens to choke him in exchange for information - why did Fisk flip on the Albanians and what his greater plan is. Ben gives some answers that are clearly unsatisfactory to Matt, who pulls the cord even tighter - Ben insists that Fisk is doing this all for Vanessa, but Matt believes it has to be more than that. Before he can finish interrogating Ben, feds enter that parking garage level, and Matt tries to make an escape. So begins Matt basically working in stealth mode and trying to take out the agents one at a time, almost succeeding, until he runs face to face with an agent aiming a gun at his face. Matt goes into ass kicking mode, taking down the agents even though he pleads with them to not do this. One of the agents yells at Matt that these guys have families - it feels like the seeds are being sown for DD becoming public enemy #1, at least with the Feds.

Clip #5: Introducing Agent Dex

Fisk’s FBI convoy is shot out of the road but what I assume is heavy weaponry, flipping the car over and knocking out all the passengers, including Fisk. When Fisk comes to, he’s shouting for Nadeem and he realizes there’s some serious shit going on outside. He actually looks a little nervous - FBI agents surround the overturned vehicle, firing on an unknown group of assailants, who are packing a lot of firepower and taking down the agents. They clear out the group and turn to trying to get Fisk out of the car, shooting at the windows to weaken the glass and bringing in machinery to cut through the door, presumably to capture him for themselves and some unknown purpose. Before they finish, there is suddenly someone gunning for the group. He picks everyone off cleanly and accurately, one by one. When it appears he might be out numbered, he throws dual knives straight into two dudes’ throats. He headshots the remaining mystery assailants, right as Fisk manages to get out of the vehicle, and slowly lower himself to the ground with hands on his head. Agent Dex has his gun trained straight on Fisk - this is the first time they cross paths.

Clip #6: Bullseye Teaser, which everyone has already seen!

Clip #7: Matt vs. Bullseye

Okay this was some crazy bonkers bullshit. I’ll give you a chance to stop reading bc it might be worth experiencing totally fresh on the show but if you wanna keep going, then you do you.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Scene opens with Foggy walking into the Bulletin newsroom. The first thing he sees is a dead employee, bloody on the ground. His eyes move across the room and he sees the back of Daredevil. Foggy is clearly confused. Fake Daredevil turns around and makes eye contact with Foggy, who is stock still, whether from fear or confusion, it’s not clear. Fake Daredevil, who is Bullseye, reaches down to pull his billy club out of another employee’s head. Then he lobs it across the room directly at Foggy’s head, when it is suddenly stopped right in front of his face by Matt, who is wearing an improvised black outfit. Foggy is stunned AF and eventually turns and runs out of the room - he goes out a door and closes it, only to find Karen and two other employees holed up while she’s pointing a gun at the door.

Back to Matt and Bullseye - we see Matt holding the baton and both of them sizing each other up and that’s where we get the “Who are you?” “I’m Daredevil.” exchange. At this point, shit suddenly gets REALLY real and I don’t think I can even convey the specific order and particulars of this crazy ass fight, not in a way that does it justice. It starts out hand to hand, and Matt is putting up a solid fight. Unfortunately, they are fighting in a newsroom full of office supplies, which basically becomes a limitless toy box of weapons for Bullseye. I can’t remember the exact order as the scene bounces all over the room, but Matt is woefully underprepared for this. 

There is definitely the moment when Bullseye bounces the baton off the ground and straight into Matt’s face - ow. Then the fight goes another level of crazy - basically any piece of office furniture, accessory, or equipment becomes a deadly weapon in Bullseye’s hands. Moments include: Bullseye grabbing a handful of pencils right when Matt pulls up part of a desk to shield himself - every pencil pierces partially through stopping short of his face. Bullseye nailing Matt in the head with a computer monitor, a stapler, like...everything, and this is WHILE Matt is dodging and flipping and crashing through furniture, doing his usual shit. He gets hit by EVERYTHING. There is a moment when he is hiding behind the wall of a cubicle, Bullseye grabs a roll of tape (?) aims it the wall opposite Matt and bounces it straight into this face. Or Matt is trying to quietly take an xacto knife or similar looking utility item off someone’s desk, but Bullseye shoots some other office item at his hand before he can pick it up, as if he were sniping him with a gun. There’s another crazy moment when Bullseye chucks a large crystal ball looking paperweight or snow globe or something at Matt’s head, which he catches, but he shoots a pencil straight into the globe and explodes it in his hand. Matt does manage to distract him long enough by making a noisy diversion, at which point he launches into him and resumes hand to and and does whatever he can to take Bullseye down, keeping his arm pinned back just out of reach of a pair of scissors in a pencil cup...but he manages to get his hands on it, and flicks the scissors STRAIGHT INTO MATT, which completely throws him off and onto the ground, at which point a bookshelf falls on top of him (or he may have fallen into shelving) and Bullseye basically stomps his face. 

Matt is out and Bullseye looks gleeful about what he did - a small maniacal smile crosses his lips. But then there are sirens that sound like they’re getting closer and that’s probably what saves Matt from getting seriously wrecked or killed.

Again I feel like I’m doing a shit job of describing just how incredible this scene was. You fully grasp the extent of Bullseye’s abilities straight away and everything is filled with a ruthlessness. Matt is STRUGGLING. It’s just bonkers good okay?

Anyway, that’s it for the clips. I am so hyped for DDS3, you could not believe. October 19 cannot come soon enough!

#matt murdock #wilson fisk #karen page #foggy nelson #benjamin poindexter #daredevil season 3 #marvel's daredevil #dd s3 #dd spoilers #daredevil spoilers #again SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

[jejublr]

25 questions!

I was tagged by one of my favs @bfwooz! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAGGING ME~

Question 1: do you have any pets? I’ve got a cat but its currently staying w my brother’s friend bc my mum’s allergic to cats :(

Question 2: name three things that are physically close to you. my phone, an empty plate and a glass of green tea lol

Question 3: what’s the weather like right now? its hot despite being cloudy outside

Question 4: do you drive? If so, have you crashed? I drove only twice before but my dad won’t allow me to get my license >:( his reason is beyond me istg

Question 5: what time did you wake up this morning? I woke up at around 5 but got back to sleep till 7 lol

Question 6: when was the last time you showered? yesterday sajdhslfj

Question 7: what was the last movie that you saw? justice league. bOI was it good.

Question 8: what does your last text message say? “what game are u playing?” @khanhwrites ( is tumblr messaging considered text message? lol)

Question 9: what is your ringtone? lmao I put my phone on silent mode so I don’t even know what my ringtone is anymore

Question 10: have you ever been to a different country? yeah! I’ve been to a lot of different countries but I just got home from Japan! Question 11: do you like sushi? I LOVE SUSHI. DON’T GET ME STARTED. (nobody asked but my fav are the tuna ones nyum)

Question 12: where do you buy your groceries? the supermarket lol

Question 13: have you ever taken any medication to help you fall asleep faster? no, I sleep easily anytime, anywhere.

Question 14: how many siblings do you have? I have an older brother, a younger brother and a younger sister.

Question 15: do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? I have a laptop but I don’t know where I put it??? I’m currently using my older bro’s desktop heheh (ya girl is a mess)

Question 16: how old will you be turning on your next birthday? 18 *dabs*

Question 17: do you wear contacts or glasses? I wear glasses but I’m a bad girl so I only use them in class

Question 18: do you colour your hair? nope

Question 19: tell me something you are planning to do today. TO FINALLY ANSWER QS AND MAYBE FINISH DRAFTS AND GETTING MY SH** TGT ON THIS GODDANG SITE

Question 20: when was the last time you cried? 1st Jan wow

Question 21: what is your perfect pizza topping? I’m a simple gal so I only like sauce and cheese on mine! (margherita for the win!)

Question 22: which do you prefer, hamburger or cheeseburger? I’m not picky but if I gotta choose then it’s cheeseburger (mmm, fake cheese)

Question 23: have you ever had an all-nighter? no. I’m that little sh** who says that she’s gonna sleep early and wake up early to study the next morning but ended up sleeping past my alarm lmao.

Question 24: what is your eye colour? dark brown but it’s also light? shdj idk how to explain bc it ain’t light brown but it’s also not dark brown? ya get me? I like it tho.

Question 25: can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? boii I can. Coke is much sweeter for me while Pepsi got that lil citrus-y punch? I prefer Pepsi so @bfwooz can fight me outside denny’s like she said when she’s ready

I’m tagging @icantatoryourtots @blacklioness15 @khanhwrites and @pasteluji for this one!

#tag game

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

↬ i hope this autumn breeze scatters our memories away.

date: august 2019.

location: ash’s apartment + a studio at bc.

word count: 1,881 words.

summary: ash said (sorta) fuck love... my impact...

notes: creative claims verification. please blame any part of this that doesn’t make sense on the medicine i’ve been on the whole time i was writing it.

mid-august 2019.

ash sat down at the piano bench and set his phone down next to it, voice memo app set to record. he hadn’t done this in a while. back in the days before he’d become so busy with solo schedules and proven himself as a creative enough for songwriting to be a real part of his job, he used to do this all the time. he’d have too many feelings not to let out in some way (he’d been less practiced at keeping it all in then) and the piano was a loyal friend who always listened. it had been his closest confidant since he’d been four years old. it didn’t matter that he’d been to so many different instruments to confide his troubles. in the end, they all represented the same thing, and that’s what drew him to even the most foreign piano.

a piano was the one thing that had been by his side in his life the longest. friends and partners had come and gone, but the relationship between ash and the nearest piano had never grown stale, even when schedules had kept him away for extended periods of time and caused neglect of their bond. no matter how short his time with the black and white keys was, he never forgot how to connect with them, and that’s more than he could say for so many of the people who had passed through his life — and for so many of the people who had once been his entire life. 

it’d only been a few months that he’d had a piano to call his own. moving out into his own place, a used baby grand was one of the first items he’d invested in for his new home’s interior. more than privacy or peace and quiet, he had a piano to call his own placed in front of the expansive set of windows that fronted his living room. he hadn’t had many opportunities to sit down at it and make music, but, as naturally as if he’d been doing it every night for the past half a year, he let his fingers spread out over the keys and start their push and pull, practiced endlessly until it had become nothing more than sheer instinct. like gentle waves crashing upon sand, taking and delivering in equal measure, his hands slowly traced out experimental notes and chords as he attempted to recreate the composition that had been forming itself in his head for the past few hours, itching to come out and be brought to life.

a piano was so different from the keyboard in his studio. the keys had lived a life of their own and they pushed back against the press of his fingers in a battle happening on the microscopic level, but it was a battle of passion, not wrath. there had been times he’d set to work at the keys with anger, but never toward the instrument itself. simmering anger was better for composing than the explosive type. art laid in the intricacies of a dynamic range, something more straight-on emotions didn’t lend themselves as simply to.

ash wasn’t able to put a name to all of the feelings he felt in the moment. there were too many and they’d interwoven with another until they became unrecognizable, only able to be expressed in the wave of his fingers.

it was a simple set of chords. it wouldn’t be anything notable for its complexity, but it was remorseful and unrelenting. there was a reluctance to follow the beat, and ash replayed sections as he figured them out multiple times to make sure the feeling was conveyed into the recording he’d be transposing over into his computer later by ear. 

it only took about an hour for him to have one final recorded memo of the composition that he was pleased with.

lyrics had come in bits and pieces as he composed, as tied to the music as the piano notes themselves. the words that came to him told a story that wasn’t his own. not now, at least. they were a story he’d lived time and time again in the past, but had never let come out in such bitter words.

love. it’d been the thing ash had sought out ever since he’d been a little boy with only the way his parents looked at each other and the way they sneaked kisses as they made dinner to idealize. he’d written more love songs than he could ever hope to release about every person who’d taken a piece of his heart since he was a teenager. even before then, ash remembered the elementary poetry he’d written about the butterflies he got from the boy who was so good at soccer at recess and the lengthy love letter he’d composed to his fifth grade “girlfriend”. love songs had filled most every playlist he listened to. even when he had gone through heartbreak, he’d listen to them to remind himself love was still out there.

now, he didn’t want to remind himself of that. where had love songs gotten him? they hadn’t ever made anyone stay, or kept insecurities from bringing love to a fizzling end, or made a relationship with his career and his own mind to contend with any easier. the mirage revealed its truth eventually every time, so why was it so hard to let go of the ideal he’d painted for himself that he clearly wasn’t meant to have?

if he could shatter his stupid heart on the floor of his living room like glass, he would.

late august 2019.

“are you sure you wrote this?”

ash snapped his eyes from his computer screen to the woman standing next to him at her question. of course he’d written it. he wasn’t about to start plagiarizing and claiming someone else’s work as his own. and if he ever did finally abandon all of his morals, it wasn’t going to be for a proposed last minute addition to a track list that was supposed to already be finished. it’d definitely be because he had finally snapped and decided to end his own career because bc wouldn’t end his suffering for him.

“yes?” he answered incredulously and the first response he got in return was a laugh. it wasn’t a malicious laugh, but ash remained tense nonetheless, unable to catch on to what she was implying in his own fatigue-ridden mind and they way her tone was much more humorous than his. 

“sorry,” she apologized, seeming to catch on that his mind wasn’t working at a fast enough speed to read her tone. “it doesn’t sound like you. well, it does. i’ve heard your heartbreak songs. but this is so cynical. you wrote ‘some’ and those songs you wrote on knight’s albums. they’re cute. i don’t know. i expected something more like that.”

ash’s tensed shoulders relaxed, but not completely. the singles he’d promoted from i’m young and daydream had both been songs about heartbreak. he’d written more songs about heartbreak than happiness in a relationship or the butterflies of having a crush if he considered everything he’d ever written. negative feelings were easier for him to write about than positive ones most of the time. they were easier to lose himself in and they were more plentiful in his life for the past few years. why was it hard to believe he’d written this? not to mention cute had been off the table the minute bc had decided he had some sort of marketable sex appeal that they’d been neglecting.

“it’s not that out of left field. and there’s already songs with a similar feeling on the album. that’s why i was going to suggest adding it. the whole back half of the track list is about disillusionment with love, so it should fit,” ash countered, trying not to sound as defensive as he felt. “i geared all of the production to fit in with the sound of the album.” had he failed?

“wasn’t it supposed to be about the sad feelings after a break up? ‘disillusionment with love’ is taking that pretty far.”

ash wanted to argue back, but he didn’t have the energy and she wasn’t wrong. those exact words had never been raised when discussing the concept of the album, and he hadn’t envisioned it in such pessimistic terms when the album had been in its early stages either. it was only when he’d begun writing this song that disillusionment became such a defining term for him. he knew why. his own mindset had changed in the months since the album had begun and he himself had become disillusioned. “but does it work? for the album? do you think it’d be worth pitching?” he asked, more interested in getting an answer to the reason he’d asked her to listen in the first place than dwell on his own roller coaster of emotions recently. or the continuing roller coaster ride of emotions he’d been stuck on for the last four years, seemingly either unable to get off or purposefully torturing himself by refusing to.

“yeah, give it a go. it’s a good fit sonically. you’ve just got to convince them to take such a late addition,” the woman said with a shrug. “but clean up the percussion a little bit. it gets lost in itself.” ash assumed their conversation would end there before she quirked her head at him, one hand on her hip in a stance that prepared ash to be questioned. he wasn’t prepared for what that question was going to be, though. “i don’t want to be nosy, but did someone break your heart recently? you’re pretty easy to see through.”

ash was too exhausted to keep his expression from revealing the surprise at her inquiry. that really wasn’t any of her business and he didn’t consider them close enough to discuss that. they weren’t anything more than work colleagues and ash wasn’t even one for discussing his love life with his closest friends, but he wasn’t blunt enough to say that. she had good intentions, he was sure, but anyone who had sat in on writing sessions with him more than once or heard drafts of his songs should know he didn’t like discussing the details of his private life beyond what he willingly laid out in his songs. it wasn’t how he worked. too many people were under the impression they knew his life already for him to want to voluntarily share the truth with anyone not involved.

“nope.” he forced a smile and a nonchalant shrug similar to her own. he got a dubious look in return and ash swiveled in his chair to face the computer screen again. “really, no. but thanks for listening. and the percussion, i’ll fix that. thanks for the tip. i’ll send it over to some people and hopefully there’s still time to add it.”

he wasn’t lying to her. no one else had done the breaking. he couldn’t blame anyone else for something he’d done himself.

he’d thought his heart had broken so many times, but it was still there, beating and hoping in the background, even when he was the one doing his damnedest to fracture it beyond repair.

#fmdverification #any time i write about ash and an instrument i end up having to delete chunks because it sounds questionable #as it should. ashiano otp #piash #please don't use this as an example of how to do a writing verification it's a really bad example #arguably The Worst Example #&& queued

[lichfucker]

you reblogged that yesterday but 48 & 49

48. Talk about how your day went

oh boy okay my day today was A Lot and I’ll include some of yesterday both bc this was yesterday’s meme and bc it’s relevant 

I only work 3 days a week and when I’m working I crash at my cousins’ apartment so I don’t have to commute in from jersey every day. there are only 2 other people in the office with me and our boss works out of another office way uptown so we rarely actually speak to her face-to-face

when I went in this week I fully prepared to be in the office tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, and my cousins’ sons had just come back from camp and wanted to see me so we made dinner reservations for last night, y’know, with the full intention that I’d stay over afterwards and then come home after work today

then yesterday afternoon like an hour before work ended my coworkers realized they were set to have a meeting w our boss uptown and, between travel time and our boss’ unceasing ability to talk, it would probably take like 5 hours (the meeting was at 11, I get there at 10, and we leave at 5) so they’d be out all day and there was no point in me even coming in to the office so I might as well just work from home. that’s cool with me, I’ll just catch a late bus after dinner I guess

but since both of them were gonna be tied up all day, I, the lowly intern, would have to run the entire website for the day. I’d have to publish the drafted articles (they didn’t teach me how), cross-post them to facebook and twitter, probably write up a curated piece or two, and do all the editing and database work I’d be doing anyway

so I woke up today prepared for Death

I woke up at 9:30-ish and a little after 10 I texted one of my coworkers and asked just a quick clarifying q abt how the day was gonna go and you know what she told me???????? the meeting was fucking canceled

that’s fine, less work for me to do, but now I’m alone in this house bc my dad is on a plane to texas and it’s just gonna be me sitting alone in the basement staring at an excel spreadsheet for 7 hours trying not to put my head through the window

the work I was doing, on any other day, would’ve taken me maybe 4 hours, tops. by the time 5 pm rolled around I’d barely even scratched the fucking surface. why?

my computer decided to be the slowest piece of shit I’ve ever seen it be. it has never worked that poorly ever. it would take 3 minutes to load a single page, 2 more for it to register that I’d scrolled or clicked something, excel crashed nearly every time I tried to input any information, at one point I opened up the task manager to see what the fuck was going on and EVEN THE TASK MANAGER STOPPED RESPONDING !! WHERE IS MY GOD NOW

on top of all of this my tattoo has been fucking burning I wanna scratch it so bad the itching is ruining my fucking life oh my god JUST HEAL ALREADY

at like 10 after 5 I put my work away I couldn’t fucking do it anymore I had to walk away before one of us broke

oh also boss called me at one point because she couldn’t remember when or how much she last paid me :^)

I listened to both episodes of til death do us blart twice while I was working and it did not help

mmm then I listened to the taz finale and now I’m here and it’s almost 9 pm I’m still in my pajamas and today I have eaten half of a slice of pizza and a bag of m&ms my body is sewage

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

I wanna be a tv writer. I am going to be a tv writer. one day I’ll run the room on my own series and it’ll be good, yo, it’ll be really fucking good. it took me so fucking long to get to a place where I can say with full conviction that I am good at the thing I love, I am good at the thing I want to do with my life. I know that I am.

god I just wanna stay in new york like if you’re gonna work in tv in the us you’re either gonna be in la or new york and it’s like 70% la 30% ny and if a show based in la wants me then fuck me I’m gonna fuckin take it, but I want so fucking badly to stay in new york. I don’t have a west coast temperament, I hate the heat, I can’t drive, and I don’t want to fucking be 3 time zones away from everyone I care about. I don’t want to be 3 time zones away from a decent fucking bagel.

and y’know somewhere along the way I’ll meet a girl I guess and she’ll actually like me and we’ll make a life together, just the two of us and our hairless cats, quasar and ozymandias. but that part is negotiable. the rest of it??? I think I’d die without

#lesbianniedison #long post //////////// #caps /// #food mention // #bluh bluh #personal #thx gil this was fun n gay ilu

[martinlawless]

March Hare Classic, Masters Race E1234

Lee Valley VeloPark, Saturday 16 March 2019

The March Hare Classic is a full day of crit racing: from Youth to National B Seniors, over at Lee Valley’s road circuit in the VeloPark. Maybe because it’s sort of the start of Spring and more likely because it has a podium full of prize money attached to it, it attracts a large and highly skilled range of riders.

I wanted to give the Masters (40+) race a go. I want to race a couple more times before the Tour of Malta at Easter. The plan, confirmed when seeing the start list, was simply to finish in the bunch and - hopefully - have a sprint for a top ten place. It’s an E1234, and sure enough there are Elites in the race, including our Mitchy, racing for Contour. Who, bravely, would be racing the National B race an hour after we had finished.

Top-tips-time for the aspiring racer…

Pack your race bag two nights before your race. Get everything you can prepare in advance ready. I pump my tyres up then and leave them. I think pumping your tyres up shortly before a race is Russian Roulette and I’ve seen a good few tyres go boom with minutes or seconds to go before a race. Pack your clothes, shoes, helmet, put your race licence in your wallet. All your gels, liquids, pins and creams, options for clothing: like thicker gloves and arm warmers, tools: everything two days before. That way, you get a better night’s sleep. The next evening… firstly, stuff happens and you don’t want to be messing around late into the night faffing with your bike or whatever. Secondly, your nerves and being unable to switch-off can get the better of you and a poor night’s sleep the night before can often happen. So, at least you had a good night’s sleep the day before.

The evening before a race: eat normal. Don’t stuff yourself with pasta. Be dead normal. Don’t go to bed too early, just do what you normally do. The next day, eat a normal breakfast. Which is probably a version of porridge or muesli anyway and so perfect. If your race is in the early afternoon, like so many weekend crits are, I’d go a small sandwich around an hour and a half before the race. Don’t ride on empty. Or eat too close to the race. I avoid chocolatey things too in the morning as it messes with my metabolism. I will have an americano. A banana. Apple. Health bar.

I drive to my races. I wear loose clothes and don’t put kit on early. I change at the venue. I will apply chamois cream before setting off, as it’s one less thing to faff with. I wear my racing socks. I put on mostly what I will wear on my warm up.

I will double-check I haven’t left my essentials behind: helmet, shoes, licence. I leave a spare kit set in my race bag at all times. socks, bibs, jersey, sunglasses. I also pack a spare tyre and tools. Gels and pins. I drive down thinking positively about doing well.

I love to get to a race a good 1.5 hours before the start if I can. It’s amazing how quickly that time will fly. Pinning your numbers on can take a long time. I always over-pin to make the numbers flat to the body in the wind. It’s easy to get pinning wrong. And races will often have protocol on how the numbers should be orientated. Check: ask. I’ve seen riders sent back to unfold their numbers. Don’t mess about. There are many ways to get your numbers on the way you like. I just do it on the floor, taking care not to be too ambitious on how tight I can put them.

My jersey is alway pre-prepared with the requisite gels and nutrition. I use Lucozade Sport or similar energy drink for liquid so there’s no messing about with powders.

I often forget to take a gel just before the start: which is really more of a superstition than a practical tip. I have nearly forgotten to set my bike computer off at the start lots of times.

Toiletness… This is a tricky one. The chances are, the toilet situation at your race will be rubbish. But if you don’t disturb normaiity on what you eat and drink in the run-up, and simply don’t be late at home or at the venue: you’ll be all right. Be normal.

If it’s a crit, there’s often a whistle before the start to call riders up, a short briefing and you’re off - like rockets. So don’t be faffing when it’s near the start. Get close to the start and keep warm however you can. In the start line, be sensible, be wary of the riders in the front who will clip in like you are and so just be calm and efficient with it all. Don’t panic.

The beginning of the race will most certainly be fast. Don’t panic. It will likely ease back at some point soon enough if you plan on just being in the bunch.

Hold your line on every corner. Follow the line of the rider in front of you. Simple.

Don’t overlap wheels. If it’s a squash and you kind of have to: do what you can to let a rider know you’re near them. Say so. Touch them. Get into a safer position when you can: carefully.

Snot rockets: aim them down and at yourself if you’re boxed in. 

Be a good group rider. This can’t be learned quickly. Join a club, go on club rides, do the local chaingang. Chaingangs are you best way into racing.

The race…

The strong wind was causing a chill. It’s overcast and rain is in the air. I opt for shorts, arm warmers and a really light undervest.

As expected, our race went off like a rocket. I recorded my joint fastest lap of Lee Valley at 28mph average, and the next couple of laps at the start were similar too. It was tough as one team weren’t hanging around in launching their break. Two top riders went clear and that was that. They’d go on to get 1st and 2nd. Thereafter, there was a mix of bunchness and launches for a break on this 25 lap, 25 miles race. All I wanted to do in this early period was keep out of trouble and away from the back. We’d lost one rider who got caught out at the start. All this pre-race effort for 6 minutes of racing. But that’s how it goes sometimes and I hope he happily comes back for more.

There was a horrific headwind. Weather Warning level. It made every turn into the blast an art in positioning so as to be in the thin line fighting against it. Once or twice I had no cover and the effort required was intense. The data shows I never got higher than 12th place on each lap start. This was in part because eventually, several more riders made a break. After that, it eased back a little. Mitchy was still with me, but after around half way through, he gave me a little sign to say he was going to launch off the bunch. I shook my head as he glanced. We turned from the headwind and into a total tailwind - the perfect place to launch - as the pack are knackered after the hard work. Mitchy fired the quads. In a blink he was gone and no one could haul him in. Eventually, Mitchy would consolidate with several other riders and catch 5th place overall. Great work.

At one point, a rider knocks into my side, but he says, ‘Watch out’. I don’t react. As ever, the pace is high and serious concentration is required at all times.

Not to say there are no moments of light relief. One rider who is desperate to work the bunch into greater efficiency starts losing the plot at our less than equal sharing of the front. The rider next to me starts laughing, and I remark that I was unaware this was a Tour De France stage.

Suddenly, it’s 6 laps to go. The race has got a bit mechanical in the bunch with our collective lack of imagination and aggression. I wake up a bit and start looking around. I can count how many riders are ahead and work out that we in the bunch are probably sprinting for 10th place and a solitary BC point.

I feel quite strong by now and wonder if I need 45 minutes to get going in a race. And if I do, that’s a pretty bad thing. I am enjoying lolling near the front. As we enter the final lap, we are laughably slow: like 15mph. But it picks up. Now, as we approach the final bend, what I should have done - in 2nd place in the bunch - is put the hammer down and go for it. I don’t really know these riders and don’t know the good from bad. However, at the last minute I see the guy in front moving into a sprint position ahead of me. He looks pretty handy, so I plan to use his wheel to launch my attack.

As we enter the finishing straight, my plan starts to unwind. The guy blows up pretty quickly and I get swamped either side. I’m stuck and a bit gutted I just didn’t use my 2-3 bike length gap at the start of the sprint better. Riders bump around a bit and I don’t like the maelstrom, especially when there’s nothing to play for. I cross the line and consider it objective job done.

I nearly crash faffing with turning my computer off: idiot. Then roll around to see how Mitchy got on. I’m well impressed he broke away late but hauled in to the others.

I unpin, change, collect my licence and grab a coffee. I wait to see Mitchy go again in the National B race. It’s the first time I’ve seen 80 riders start at Lee Valley. I cheer him on. I go inside the velodrome for a hot chocolate and late lunch toastie, then cheer Mitchy on more who is understandably finding it tough after racing already. Brave.

As I leave, the wind seems to have got worse, but the sun is trying to get out. The VeloPark looks good in early Spring. I look forward to returning in two weeks for one more Masters race before the Tour of Malta. Hopefully, the field will be more my level of competitiveness and I can be more creative in my racing than being so super defensive. Though these defensive races are very good learning for racecraft and things like drafting and handling wind direction and positioning.

Strava link: https://www.strava.com/activities/2217157546