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astormyjet · 3 years

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Winter of 2018 - Summer of 2021 TIME FILES WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR 20s!!!!

OH BOY. It’s been three years (or more) since I updated this. “Time is a weird soup!” to quote a fave. I guess I quit tumblr around the time there was a purge of content and creators and a smack down on a lot of the fandom communities. Tumblr has always been something of a crapshow though so I’ve been more productive with my time than I was in some ways, but I’ve also found other ways to waste my time. *cough twitter/netflix/youtube/MTGArena cough*.

General Life Achievements since 2018 -JLPT N3 GET in 2019! -Blackbelt GET in 2018! -TESOL 120 Hour and BE 50 Hour Cert from online provider GET in 2021 -STUDENT LOAN BANISHED (Thank you grandparents) -Survived Apartment flooding in early 2020. -Mystery anxiety related illness and chronic pain in my left leg from early 2020 - Present. -A mythical 6th and 7th year on the JET Programme. -Started posting on Instagram a lot more about my wanderings around Matsuyama/Uwajima. Mainly old buildings and stray cats. @astormyknight -Surviving so far in Japan with old rona-chan.

2018 was rough. I was given an additional school in the first semester (March to July) as we had someone find a better job. I enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a rough go especially when I was transferred that August after three fantastic years at Tsubaki JHS and ES and only a semester there. I legit went through the five stages of grief - which I think is another reason I stopped blogging. I was given my current base school along with four other schools. Going from 2(3) to 5 schools was a bit of an adjustment. I still feel a bit spread out.

That said, I keep running into teachers and students who were at the Tsubaki’s. The teachers shuffle around every April, so it's always a lottery with which new faces are going to be old friends (or enemies…). A couple of kids moved and transferred into my current schools from Tsubaki too. So I have one kid I can say I've been teaching for 6 out of the 7 years I've been here!

One of the kids who was in JHS 3rd grade when I first got here (in 2015!) hangs out around one of my favorite cafes, so I got chatting with him recently. He's in his second year of nursing school - his class nearly broke me in the first year, it was really a trial by fire with those kids. I was 22 then, and he’s 20 now, so it was interesting chatting to him about that first year of teaching. His younger sister was one of my favorite students too, she was in the group of kids that graduated in the March of 2018, the year group that went through Tsubaki JHS with me - they’re newly minted University students now!

This Thursday morning when I was cycling in to work, a kid who was 2nd year JHS when I left (so 2nd or 3rd year JHS now) pulled up with their Mum in a van and got their mamachari out of the back to bike to school. The franticness of it all was hilarious. Their Mum legit sat on the horn until I pulled over. I was so happy to run into this kid, even at social distance and both of us late to work/school - because we both remembered each other and as they were going around the corners they were yelling each time they turned and humming the old elementary school directions chant and pelting me with questions about what I’ve been up to.

I've had so many students and schools now, that everything is kind of running into a blur. I remember flashes of kids faces and voices, random memories of in class or out of class shenanigans out of the blue. Also, I now, more than ever, have issues remembering kids' names, but I still know their faces (even with their masks), whose homeroom class they were in, who their friends were and which club they were in. I get random flashbacks to past conversations with them when I see them on the street or we run into each other. I feel bad because the first thing former students ask is ‘Do you remember my name?’ and I always have to be like, ‘Honestly, no, but I remember you did this on x day, x month in x classroom’.

Socially in 2018 -2019 - a few of our friends went home and things shook up a little. Our DnD group changed a bit - one of our players stepped into the role forever DM (THANK YOU RALPH). From memory the newbies were great - some of them just went home at the start of last month and it’s weird not seeing them around (JESS DO YOUR BEST!). I think we only have one or two people left from that rotation. There’s no 6th year ALTs, and only two 5th years.

Aug 2018 - Aug 2019 was the year of Hiura - my mountain school. Dang man, they were so cool. The students of the JHS and the ES combined barely hit 30, so each class was between 3-10 students depending on the grade. It was easier to get to know the kids, their abilities and their goals than it has been for me at other schools. I miss it so bad, being in nature once a week did my country-kid heart so good! The bugs! The frogs! The river! The mountain! The monkeys! The lizards! The dilapidated houses and hidden shrines!!!! The random crabs in the English room...I forgot that there was such a thing as freshwater crabs, and being right next to a river, the invasion wasn’t as out of place as I first thought...

The area is so picturesque and calming. Every week up there was a small adventure (after getting over my motion sickness from the bus ride up). The kids were constantly pranking either myself or the main English teacher. There was always some new weird bug or lizard in a tank to be educated about. There were chickens on the way to the JHS that used to escape from their cardboard box prisons to run riot on the gardens. There were old people to freak out with my youth and foreignness! The kids also got to do a lot of extra classes, sumiyakai (making charcoal the traditional way), planting and maintaining rice paddies, setting up vegetable gardens, raising fireflies, conserving a special breed of fire lily (only found in this particular mountain valley) and another rare flower, wilderness training ect.

I wish I could have stayed there a lot longer but SOMEONE (read...the BoE) decided that schools had to be shuffled again(thank goodness the dude who has it now was able to keep it from the 2021 shuffle, he's the best fit for the school). I had so many good memories from there, I wish I had been more consistent in writing it down. I do have a bunch of photos and videos from there though, so that's nice. The only thing I don’t miss is the bus trip up and down - not only was it motion sickness, there was a healthy dose of fear each ride as the driver brought us perilously close to the edge of the mountain drop…

2019 - 2020 was interesting. With the school I got given instead of the Hirua’s I was roped into more demonstration lessons which was a lot of pressure because I was also involved quite heavily with the JHS observation and training lessons too. They were somewhat rewarding, the third graders are now super smart 5th graders, but the teachers who need to embrace the new curriculum and ways of teaching really haven’t taken on anything from the lessons....

Outside of work as well, I was given the chance, thanks to an ALT buddy of mine, to join in with the local festival. It's been one of the biggest highlights of my time here, and I am gutted it’s been cancelled for the last two years, but I understand the reason…. I was able to travel to Okinawa too during that summer for an international Karate seminar with the Dojo I train with. I met the head of the style I currently practice and a bunch of people from around the world. I also got to see Shuri castle before it burned down. So that was a stroke of luck. One of the places I want to go when/if we get out of this pandemic is Okinawa. I want to see more of those Islands so bad. Just before the whole pandemic thing too - I managed to see the Rugby World Cup, a Canada vs NZ match, I even ran into Tana Umanga in Oita city!!!

2019 - 2020 was supposed to be my last year on JET, so I was frantically Job hunting. I went to the Career Fair in Osaka in early Feb/Late January 2020. I applied and got interviewed for a position in Sendai in early Jan 2020. In the end though - the Rona hit. We started hearing whispers of it around the end of 2019, then the cruise boats happened, and then Japan refused to cancel the Olympics...every holiday season there is a new wave of infections, my nurse friends in Tokyo are struggling....my teacher friends in more populous areas of Japan are struggling…

JET couldn't get new ALTs for 2020-2021, I took the extra year when it was eventually offered, as the one job I had managed to get a serious offer for was hesitating because with the rona setting in, things were uncertain. There was a lot of time spent adjusting to the new rules surrounding what we could do in class with the kids as well as textbook change. Schools shut on and off during the spring months.

I also got a reminder of my mortality mid May with an unrelated illness which is still smacking me around a bit - stress/age, it does things to the human body it has no right to. It's only been in the last three months I’ve been able to exercise like I used to, I’ve put on a bunch of weight I can't shrug off (one part medication, another part diet) My relationship with food needs to change, and I really need a kitchen that allows me for more than one pan meals. I also need to figure out what to do with a left leg that is in constant pain from the knee down and a heart that misses beats when stressed out (mentally and physically…).

My apartment also got flooded by the guy upstairs at one point, I spent most of late February/early March living in a hotel while my walls and floor got redone - I think this was one of the things that really stressed me out and kicked my anxiety right up a notch, it was right when things were getting REALLY bad with rona-chan in Hokkaido and schools were shutting down here as it was filtering into the prefecture and so Japan closed schools for the first time…

Classes in covid times have been weird. We’ve been wearing facemasks full time since the early stages of the pandemic (March 2020) - so I admit that I get a bit pissed off seeing both Americans and New Zealanders back home bitching about just having to start wearing them full time in public. I have asthma and have been suffering with the things on during the 30*C plus with high 90s humidity summers. Teachers were offered vaccines late July 2021, just days before the Olympics were open - and I finished my two shots in the middle of August. But the overall distribution and take up of the jab has been slow. As mentioned above, we can't play a lot of the games we used to play with kids in classes anymore, and a lot of the activities outlined in the textbook curriculum need to be adjusted too, so we’ve had to be creative. We use hand sanitizer a lot more too. One of the things I miss the most though, is eating lunch with the kids.

Socially from summer 2020 - now 2021 we played a lot of DnD and board games, both online and in person when we could. There were no new ALTs again for the 2021-2022 JET year, and those of us who were in 6th year were offered a 7th. Four out of six of us took it. As a whole we’re down from a peak of 38 ALTs for Junior High and Elementary school to 22 for now. We hopefully will get a new person at the end of September, and 4 more in November. Which will bring us to 27. This has led to ANOTHER round of school shuffles.

Summer vacation has been weird the last two years. With rona-chan, we haven’t really been able to travel. All the summer festivals (all the Autumn and Winter ones too!) have been cancelled, so the changing of seasons just feels, wrong. I dunno. There is so much we all miss from pre-rona-chan, and so much that doesn’t happen that makes this just feel like one long long unending year of sadness, coldness, raininess, unbearable heat and repeat. I’m tired. Time is going so fast, but so.dang.slow.

I lost my favorite school (AGAIN GDI!!!) and gained the school I taught a semester at in 2019....I had my first day there on Wednesday. Schools actually started back on September 1st so there was some drama as the BoE didn’t communicate fast enough about our school changes. We legit got told on the 27th of August (on a Friday) our schools were changing effective September 1st, but somehow some of our schools found out on the Monday 30th August. In July we were told we would be changing schools at the end of September, so.a lot of ALTs and schools were left short changed, not having opportunities to say goodbye to co-workers or students/having their planning for the semester more or less thrown out the window too. I love my job. I really dislike the way the BoE treats us, the Japanese assistant language teachers and our schools.

The new school I have is used to having an ALT there twice a week, who plans all the lessons and executes them. I’m at three elementary schools. I'm only at each once a week, I want to plan, but being that I miss an entire lesson in between visits, it's going to be difficult to do so. Not impossible, but being that I'm already doing it for two other schools, who are at two different places in the textbook ah…….. From what I have talked to my new supervisor about though, it sounds like the teachers have taken on more of the lesson planning and I'll be able to contribute ideas when I'm there. I just want to and wish I could do more without being confused all the time. (This is all usually done in my second language too, not in English so extra levels of confusion and miscommunication abound).

I feel like this at my JHS too a lot of the time. I want to contribute more, but even with constant communication with my main in school supervisor (who is a badass and pretty much on the same page about everything with me) I still feel about as useful as tits on a bull. Especially now that classes have been cancelled and or shortened, there's less time to do stuff. Any game or activity I plan is usually cut in favor of making up time in the textbook. When I'm in class, I'm back to being a tape recorder, the fun police and general nuisance.　

Also in the last week...my two of my schools were shut due to students testing positive for the rona. This is the second time my schools have had a scare in the last 8 months. And by shut, I mean the students were all at home, but the teachers all had to come into the office. Because why not I guess….. I mean, the cases increasing is really not unexpected with the amount of people who were travelling over obon and the increase of cases due to the Olympics/Japan being slow on vaccinating/delta being the dominant strain/Japan's leaders doing relatively little except asking shops and restaurants to limit people coming in at one time and closing before 8pm. I know my schools weren't the only one shut either - but still High Schools were having their sports days this week. I kept on seeing groups of kids hanging in the park after, so that was a little bit nerve wracking.

It's just frustrating - we’ve been on half days to “minimize the risk of infection” for kids and teachers, as if only being at school from 8am through to 1pm is going to reduce the risk. My schools have only just started testing out Microsoft teams and Zoom lesson equipment. Thankfully our school’s run in this time was contained real quick, the family was super good about informing us when they got their results back, and the fact they needed to be tested. The homeroom teacher and the students from the same class were the only ones tested, and they all came back clear, which was nice. But the information came back so SLOW.

I’m a little irritated because I found out on Wednesday night what was going on, and even if I am vaccinated, I am super worried that I will end up being the covid monkey due to being at different schools three days out of five. I think other than being worried that I will catch it myself and get real sick, my biggest fear is that I will be protected from bad symptoms from the vaccine, but still be able to pass it onto some of my more vulnerable friends and students. The whole thing is a mess.

Other than Covid and BoE drama, life is good. I’ve had a couple of other big changes - both fantastic and not so great, but yeah. I have my health (and health insurance!) for now. I have a job, for now. I have a sense of existential dread for the next 12 months, but we’ll see where we end up. Life post JET is going to be way less cushy and I am TERRIFIED. I mean, I have a BA in Eng/Ling and no idea what to do with it…..because I am NOT suited for academia.

TLDR: Love my job. Don’t like the system. What is life? Future scary.

#life on JET #blog post #life in Japan #jet programme #jet program

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thisselflovecamebacktome · 3 years

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My personal connection with Taylor’s discography, part three: Evermore

Basically this is just a series I’m doing where I write down my feelings on what each of the Taylor songs means to me personally. Part one was my relationship with It’s Time To Go, which you can find here and part two was Right Where You Left Me which you can find here.

Before we get started I want to give a quick trigger warning that this particular post is going to talk about sexual violence, suicidality, and revenge porn, so please keep that in mind if you’re someone with a history of those topics.

Anyway, with that being said, this is how I personally relate to this song.

Evermore

As a whole, this song feels like a recollection of all of my darkest times as well as a reminder that even though it felt like those moments would define the rest of my life, I have reached a point where they no longer do. It is also a good reminder that timing and love are such important aspects in life and sometimes you have to trust and rely on them to get you through the rough times, even when there’s no solid evidence that it will work out, because that’s all you have.

Gray November, I've been down since July

2011 was an absolute shitshow for me. It was my final year of high school (year 10 where I live) and two of my closest friends had just moved across the country. Likewise, I had two friends die in the space of a month, one from a brain tumor and one from a suicide that I witnessed. And to top it all off, it was when my family issues really started ramping up. Just when I thought that I was moving forward and starting to recover and find my footing from all of that, July 3rd happened. In short, on July 3rd, I non-consensually lost my virginity, a concept that was very important to me at the time as a Christian teen, to multiple men. As a result, I spent the next year and a half in a depressive and suicidal state over the events of that night and regressing the progress I had made from the other bad things that had happened in 2011.

Motion capture put me in a bad light

A few weeks after the events of July 3, I had found out that those events had been filmed and distributed on porn websites. It took almost a year and a bunch of legal action to get it down and I remember going to school each day in fear that one of the boys were going to announce that they watched it, or worse yet, I would be called to the psychologist’s office because one of the teachers had seen it, and the one area that I could be “my usual self” was going to be taken away from me.

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone trying to find the one where I went wrong. Writing letters addressed to the fire

This line feels very reminiscent of my relationship with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in general to be honest. Like through triggers, nightmares and just general feelings of not being able to move past it, I was forced to consistently revisit both the trauma of my friend’s suicide and the gang rape. As a result, I used writing, both fictional and not, as a mechanism to discover and express my emotions and try to figure out how a “good girl” (yes I did have a lot of internalised misogyny issues at the time before someone says it) had gotten herself in that position. At the end of the day, all of the pieces I wrote ended up as unsaved drafts on my first laptop, but it was a very therapeutic and “healthy” way to figure out what had happened and how I felt.

And I was catching my breath staring out an open window catching my death

The events of July 3 made me agoraphobic to the point of not leaving my house for the remainder of the holidays I had and only leaving when I did because my parents forced me to go back to school. It took another two years to feel comfortable outside my home and to this day, certain environments (loud places, night times etc) still make me very anxious. It genuinely felt like I was going to die in that room, and though unhealthy, feeling the icy cold breeze of Winter nights on my skin was the beginning of my deliberately unhealthy habits as it felt like the only time I felt anything at all. This later translated into actions like excessive drug/alcohol use, self harm and forming bonds with people I know weren’t good for me so it also reminds me of sticking my head out of car windows if I’m honest.

And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore

This is pretty self explanatory. At the time it really did feel as if that pain was all there was of my life anymore, and as a result, I almost ended my life at seventeen.

Hey December, guess I'm feeling unmoored. Can't remember what I used to fight for

Moving forward in my life, this line reminds me of the destruction of my family. Yeah, yeah, it always comes back to this I know. A warning for anyone who is already sick of me talking about my family in these posts, all up there are 39 songs in Taylor’s current discography that remind me of them so it’s going to be a very common theme and you should leave now if it bugs you. But as I was saying, this line basically encompasses what I feel about that whole situation and the damage it did now. Like there’s this part of me that feels like I don’t have a good, stable place in my current reality and just feel disconnected because like fighting to keep us together was literally 23 years of my life and now it’s just not because things didn’t work out. And because things didn’t work out and somehow (barring my mother) everyone is surviving just fine from what it seems, it just feels like that fight was not worth it and I can’t see why I stood my ground for so long anymore.

I rewind the tape but all it does is pause on the very moment all was lost

Despite knowing the signs of my family falling apart were present long before we fell apart in 2015, and certainly more before I accepted it in 2017, it is still impossible for me to comprehend that. All I can think about is that moment when it hit me that I was going to have a future without a family of any kind. Like none of the signs leading up to that live rent free in my mind in the way my father’s last words to me and the devastating realisation that I had been delusional for ever thinking things would work out does.

Sending signals to be double crossed

Basically just a reminder that my family fell apart not because I didn’t try hard enough or didn’t voice myself enough, it was because those signals weren’t received because the people who were meant to receive them didn’t want to and sent them out into the abyss in order to fulfil their objecting desires.

And I was catching my breath, barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death and I couldn't be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore

When I cut off my father in late 2017 after accepting him, my sister nor extended family wanted to reunite with my mother, brother or I as a family, I was in a moment of time where I didn’t have time to fall apart. I was in the middle of a university semester, dealing with a manipulative acquaintance tearing apart one of my friendships, and dealing with my mother’s far more concerning suicidality. But as a result of continuously trying to fake it til I made it, I fell apart and 2018 led to almost a full year of me feeling as suicidal as I had in 2011. And while I was now better equip to deal with that thanks to therapy, there was definitely an overarching feeling of “well if I can ‘recover’ and feel great just for this to come back years later, what’s the point of getting better? I’m never going to recover from this” for the better part of the year.

Can't not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost. Oh, can we just get a pause? To be certain we'll be tall again

After my family fell apart in 2015, nearly every moment of my time was dedicated to three things; my mother’s mental illnesses, working to make sure we didn’t become homeless and my university degree. As a result of that and issues my partner had to overcome, the relationship fell through, But as part of that, we ended up meeting up a few months after and discussing the idea of getting back together. However, while there was nothing more that I wanted at the time, realistically I knew that it wasn’t the time. The same issues were still occurring and unlikely to change in the short run and I knew deep down we’d end up resenting each other if we went head first back into a romantic relationship without resolving those issues. And quite frankly, after everything I had lost, I felt like I couldn’t lose him too. So I asked him to wait to give us our best chance at a future together.

Whether weather be the frost or the violence of the dog days. I'm on waves, out being tossed. Is there a line that I could just go cross?

There are two scenarios I think of when considering this line.

Following the above, the first I feel like this was pretty much how my partner felt after my family fell apart. He was suddenly thrown into a rough (potentially triggering considering he lost his family too in his childhood) situation where he was barring the grunt of my reaction to the situation without any type of benefit given I wasn’t even spending any time with him or considering his feelings because I was so wrapped up in my own. And in that, he was just trying to find a point where he could help me and our relationship would be on good terms.

And then, again, it feels like 2018 for me personally over again. Like I spent every day feeling like I was drowning and just trying to get through to the next and just trying to find that one switch that would make me feel non-suicidal again.

And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you. In the cracks of light I dreamed of you. It was real enough to get me through. I swear, you were there

Throughout 2018, there was nothing physical that I could hold onto to get me through the days. Instead, I had to really lean into my friendships, many of which didn’t live in the same city I did so couldn’t be physically present, and the hope that one day this would all pass and I’d be living my imagined best life with my partner. And it did, and I thank god everyday that it did.

And I was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step and I couldn't be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn't be for evermore

November 2nd, 2018. Perhaps some of you recognise that date as a certain Reputation Sydney show date, as you should. Look, I’m not one for saying music saves lives. I find that far too simplistic and takes away from the effort the person made to save their own life. But my god did that night make me want to save my own life. After almost a full year of feeling suicidal, something clicked in me while watching one of my closest friends (who ironically wasn’t meant to be there, another friend dropped out) screaming out to lyrics to the Long Live/New Year’s Day mashup and 22. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt loved and appreciated to the point where I stopped missing everyone I had been missing and overall just felt happy. It was genuinely as if I had found that switch and from that day have bounced back and not felt anywhere near as terrible as I did in 2018 or 2011. And you know, while those days will probably come back, after defeating them twice, I know that any days like it that are in my future won’t last and ultimately I will be happy.

#evermore album #evermore #taylor swift #about me

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starryskysimmer · 4 years

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First, I would like to start out by giving credit to the person who came up with the idea. I will not be posting their name due to privacy reasons. The idea was a cottage styled home for a single parent with two kids. I challenged myself to do a tiny home tier 2. This was tough because I have not built in a while, so it got my building memory muscles going again. I also decided to add a back story with this home.

Back Story

Lance married a beautiful woman named Janice. Lance had just started his job as a nurse making his way up to become a doctor. Janice was a scientist who loved gardening. She was all about growing her own food, as well as finding natural home remedies for things. She loved nature and spent a lot of time away from home exploring new places. They were married for 4 years when Janice found out she was pregnant. Janice gave birth to a set of twin girls. They have their mother’s hair color, and eyes. Once the girls started kindergarten Janice fell ill. She began losing weight rapidly, was not eating, more sleeping very often. She ran high fevers and was very weak. Lance took her to the doctor, and they diagnosed her with stage 4 breast cancer. Lance had a feeling she did not have cancer. Some of her test did not show signs of cancer, some test was just off. He begged the doctors to run more test. Every result came back the same, but Lance knew that was not it. A few weeks later Janice died. Lance became depressed but had to stay strong for his daughters. He had so much debt that they had to move out of their home into a new cheaper one. He picked up his wife’s habits of gardening and natural remedies. To this day he is still doing research to try and figure out what could have killed her. He was going through the closet when they moved, and he found a box of journals with weird writing and shapes. His wife was studying something new. He also found a bunch of old dry herbs and weird looking plants. This mystery and his daughters are the most important things in his life right now.

· Packs used: Discover University, Island living, Seasons, Cats & Dogs, City Living, Jungle Adventure, Parenthood, Tiny Living, Laundry Day Stuff, Kids Room Stuff, Holiday Celebration pack

· Please turn on bb.moveobjects on before placing this lot.

· It says modded but it is not.

· 2 Bedrooms, 1 bathroom, Kitchen, living room, Backyard & Garden.

· Lot Value: $29,546

· Lot Size: 30x20

· ID: PandasAreBae18

· DO NOT CLAIM MY BUILDS AS YOUR OWN 😊

#ts4 #ts4builds #mybuilds

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redeadepression · 5 years

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Hello, I hope you're feeling good today! Umm I was curious if you want to share some HCs about modern John and Arthur. What aspects would change if they lived in our present days? Or if they woke up a day and were here? :)

Modern AU | Arthur Morgan | John Marston | Headcanons

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OMG yes. So I think about Modern AU Arthur and John A LOT. Both in the sense that they actually grew up in modern AU and that’s all they have know and the sense that they have just woken up in a modern world and have to come to terms with what the world is like in 2019.

I’ll just do a set for each of the boys on Modern AU because this post was getting SO long. But pleaseee if you want to hear about 1899 Arthur and John in a Modern world, send me an ask!

John’s HCs are MUCH more fleshed out than Arthur’s and really more of a narrative where as for Arthur I have a huge bunch of ideas as to who he is as a person but nothing super solid for his actual story.

I have SO many more headcanons about these guys and also Modern AU Abigail. If you want to see more, just ask. ♥

~~~~~

A little background on Modern AU Arthur and John. John’s Father died when he was They were both placed in the Foster-care system where they were taken in by Dutch and Hosea; an older couple that decided to foster instead of adopt. Arthur is still 10 years older than John. He is placed with Dutch and Hosea at around the age of 10 and then seven years later John is placed with them as well at the age of 7.

Arthur isn’t an orphan but he was taken away from his bio Father due to abuse and after that his Father spiralled and found himself in prison. His sentence kept getting extended due to bad behaviour and eventually Arthur writes him off when he reaches adulthood, realising he isn’t going to change. Dutch and Hosea adopt Arthur with his Father’s consent right before he turns 18. His mother died due to illness when he was a toddler.

John’s Mother died in childbirth and his abusive Father was killed when John was 6. He goes straight in to Foster-care and is bounced around from house to house due to his troublesome nature. His Foster parents find him challenging and he continues to be replaced until eventually he lands with Dutch and Hosea at the age of 7. After Arthur, they find John and his anxieties/acting out to not be all that much of a handful.

John isn’t adopted when he turns 18 and as a result has a strained relationship with the people he had considered his family for over 10 years. He attends family Christmas and other holidays but ultimately feels out of place.

~~~~~

Modern AU Arthur:

Okay so first thing you need to know about Modern Arthur is he’s a serial dater

A romantic always looking for ‘the one’

But total self-sabotager when anyone promising appears

Think Ted Mosby from HIMYM

He is HOT but he doesn’t really know it

Really low self-esteem

But at the same time weirdly arrogant because he can pretty much get any woman he wants

He has a new partner every couple of weeks

Always brings them to events and puts them in the photos which annoys his friends

When he is roughly 25 he has a bad break up and decides to ‘be single’ for a while

He meets Eliza and has a one night stand

She gets pregnant

He tries to make it work with her but in the end they are too different

They break up and Arthur is a little relieved

He’s a good Dad to Issac

But Eliza moves away with him when he is around 3

So Arthur only see’s him on holidays and when he can afford to fly out for a visit

He is an Artist

Actually makes some decent money off his work

But hates the whole ‘art scene’

Absolutely despises rubbing noses with “pretentious art folk”

But despite that, is really good at schmoozing to get his art recognised

His friends like to remind him that he’s actually really pretentious himself sometimes

But he likes to think of himself as ‘Down to Earth’

He loves food

Always has snacks

Lives off coffee

Has drank dirty paint water instead of his coffee many, many times

Arthur has a really good parental bond with both Dutch and Hosea

He gets along with them both really well and often voluntarily spends time at their house where he grew up

Dutch is an enabler to Arthur’s womanising

He instils the belief in Arthur that when he meets ‘The One’ he will know instantly

Hosea disapproves and encourages him to try and settle down

Not every relationship is perfect but they still work out etc

Arthur’s sibling relationship with John turned to more of a friendship when the later turned 18

He invited John to live with him for a little while, while he was setting up his business

They didn’t live together for long as they got on each others nerves too often

Arthur doesn’t have many male friends

He finds it easier to connect with women in a platonic sense

Besides John, his male friends are his friend’s husbands

(i.e Jake Adler)

Arthur likes to go away for a couple of weeks at a time

Sometimes he tells people where he’s going

Other times he just disappears

But his Instagram alerts his family to the fact he’s still alive

He never goes on extravagant vacations

Often saving enough for a flight and a stay at a hostel somewhere

Sometimes he camps

He uses these trips for inspiration in his work

Often has a huge influx of stylised work, based on where he’s been once he returns home

It gradually returns to his usual art-style

That’s when he realises it’s time to get away again

He feels content in his life and genuinely enjoys living

He actively yearns for more but deep down isn’t sure he actually wants it

He could live like this the rest of his life and not have many regrets

Modern AU John:

As a child, John never really had anything of his own

Never had anything new

Always hand-me-downs

So once he becomes a teen he is incredibly keen to enter the work-force

He’s very excited to spend his first pay cheque on something new for himself

He never flourished at school

Found that he was much better at working

Especially with his hands and machinery

He took on a trade and worked to become a construction worker

When he reaches adulthood and realises he’s going to have to live by his own means he takes a business course

Starts his own company at the age of 18, doing handy-man kind of work

Dutch and Hosea offer him money to grow it

He turns it down as he feels it’s out of guilt

This spurs him on to work even harder

He wants to prove himself

Eventually starts to make enough money to hire staff

Starts taking on bigger clients

Bigger jobs

Grows his company until at the age of 22 he’s got his own small business and it’s thriving

He does well for himself

He lives off Energy Drinks and coffee

Fast food is a must

Often eats in his car at lunch or on his way home from work

It’s lonely

He meets Abigail and they start casually dating

Not long in to their relationship she falls pregnant

John freaks out but recovers well

He doesn’t want his child to grow up like he did

Proposes because he’s young and dumb

They get married really quickly despite people trying to tell them it’s a bad idea

He takes a mortgage on a house and they move in together

Things are good for a while

But once baby Jack comes they go downhill

Abigail is a good Mother but very young and selfish

This is a whole other set of headcanons if anyone is interested, I’ll write them

John steps up as a Father because he has to if he wants his child to have a good life

He flails a lot

Almost drowns a couple of times

Eventually falls in to a good rhythm of work and baby

His relationship with Abigail crumbles

They separate with joint custody

He has a few good friends

He leans on them hard in during his divorce

He sells his house and moves in with a friend for emotional support/help with the baby

Puts the profits from his sale in to his business and grows it further

As a human; he has a lot of flaws

But they are very different from his flaws in 1899

He is full of anxieties and mental health issues

But refuses to work on them

As a Father he feels he is unfit

But he takes it on anyway and is actually a natural

As a husband he was clingy, yet distant at the same time

Wanting attention and then space when it suited him

He is resentful of Abigail for ultimately being the one to end the marriage

Despite knowing it was for the best

He starts dating a friend

He realises what a good, supportive relationship is like

He and Abigail fight often about what’s right for Jack

John grows frustrated with her childishness

Eventually fights for full custody because he feels like Jack isn’t Abigail’s first priority

Doesn’t win due to being at work full-time

Abigail settles on 70/30 because she is also working and knows John can afford a better Nanny than she can

He never confront Dutch and Hosea about not being adopted

Figures they just didn’t want him to be permanent in their lives

They were his parents for 11 years

It stings but he moves on

He’s in denial about how much it affects him

Affects the decisions his makes parenting his son

#Arthur Morgan #John Marston #Modern AU #modern au john marston #modern au arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #headcanons #hcs #modern au headcanons #modern hcs

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comicteaparty · 4 years

Text

June 13th-June 19th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 13th, 2020 to June 19th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What is your physical and digital workspace like when you’re working on your story?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

LOL it really depends on what stage I'm in of the process - My storyboarding space is at home, as comfortable as I can be, a beer and some food at the ready and pure silence. The cats have to be freshly fed, otherwise I'll be harassed and lose my headspace entirely LOL. I usually work on my story boards digitally, just at a very small scale, with my script/outline on my computer and working on my ipad! The double screen helps a LOT, although i would just print out the script if I had access to a printer, haha. When I'm working on the actual page itself, it's a very different story. I usually just try and work on it in tiny little batches during the day when I'm stuck at home, and usually work around the animals as best i can, lmao. Truthfully, I really prefer to be in a coffee shop when I'm working on finishing pages, it makes me so much more productive than i am in this house with so many things to take care of right in front of me, but, obviously, that's a bit difficult to do these days. ;; I usually reserve food and drink until after I pass a milestone in inking/sketching to help motivate me to keep going for as much as I can before taking a break, and I need some kind of music or video playing in the background to keep myself from being absolutely bored out of my mind. My shading process, since it's in black and white, is very easy and i can finish it in one setting, easy, no matter what I'm working with. I also work digitally for my pages, of course, although I don't need more than my ipad and clip studio for it!

DaeofthePast

freshly fed cats

🌈ERROR404 🌈

They are BEASTS when hungry, the little bastards (love them)

I may only work in peace when they're post-food napping lmao

DaeofthePast

we only have one, but same

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I work almost entirely in the corner of my IKEA couch at home I used to work at a proper desk with a Cintiq, but when I switched to Procreate on an iPad, I migrated to the couch and surrounded myself with a nest of clothes and blankets and books and... here I am, bein' cozy. With terrible posture But when I was between jobs last year, I did rent a little coworking space down the street so I could get out of my pajamas and go get comic stuff done there. It was a godsend. I like drawing at my favorite coffee shop every so often too, but I tend to hide my work while I draw, and there, everyone can look over my shoulder The coworking space had a tall artist desk that was rarely used, so I often grabbed that one. Not cheap, but to stave off cabin fever, heck yes, worth it.

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ahhh I've been really thinking about getting a studio space one of these days I really shouldn't rn, with my finances as they are, but I could REALLY make use of one recently

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I loved the space I used last year. They recently had to close for... current-event reasons... and are going to reopen with all sorts of plexiglass barriers between the desks I feel so bad for them. Good studio spaces are wonderful, I would support them again if I ever was out of a job!

🌈ERROR404 🌈

it's good they've found ways to make it safer, though!

carcarchu

My old workspace was in the basement of my home in canada and it was always perpetually freezing even in the summer and i was frequently visited by spiders so my current workspace is a huge improvement in that regard. I do miss my old ergonomic desk chair though. I'm definitely not the kind of person who can draw in bed or on the couch. I need to be in workmode and having a designated space just for that is necessary for me to get in the right headspace for that.

DaeofthePast

my workspace rn is just my desk with my laptop and my drawing tablet. my laptop is stacked on top of a pile of books so i can see the screen (otherwise my tablet blocks my line of sight). it's kinda simple

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Depends. I have a Cintiq Mobile Studio, so I can draw pretty much every where and sometimes in the oddest position, but most of the time I am on my desk with the cintiq hooked up to a second monitor so I don't have to look down so much.(edited)

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

For Wayfinders: Thumbnails are somewhere cozy and the only physical work. Me and Q sit and plan them out together. The rest of wayfinders are made on Photoshop, and flat colors in clip paint studio. In the world I would love a nice studio place in an office with others. During corentine I have been working from home, and I am not that good at it, being quite the extrovert. Before corentine I was in a artist residency where I worked on Wayfinders which had a workstation and all the programs we could need. It is so nice and me and Q are going to return there when it opens up again!

Miranda

I have an iPad so usually on the couch, cozied up with coffee and pillows and blankets. But sometimes at the table. But usually on the couch like the gremlin I am

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I have a large drafting table, a mini drafting table, and a lapdesk in my papasan when we ink/draw! Toning and letters are all done on the desktop in its own space

Miranda

I need to get a good lap desk. But that sounds like a grand setup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

My first time hearing about a lapdesk

Omg I need one

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

They are the best things ever Mine has just the pencil holder !(some come with cup holders and its a waste of space imo)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Wow I like your setup of the drafting tables

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I wanna show pics of them....if im allowed in this chat?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I hope so, I'm not sure which channel we can post studio photos at? I did see some did before?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Ill post in shop talk since creator babble gets archived

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my current space is uh.... a bit better than my last one. I used to work on an old writers desk for a decade and I did most of my comic work sitting there cramped up with my desktop taking most of the space. Now I have an L shaped desk where I have my desktop on the shorter end. The longer end it's my pen, pencils, and watercolor stuff. my display tablet occupy the space at times so switching from digital and traditional without worrying about setup hassle is a lot better than what I dealt with before lol.

I'm glad the days I had to curl up and draw with no privacy are long gone now

kayotics

I’ve got a little drafting table where I draw all my comic pages. I’m messy with my pens so they’re kind of strewn about until I start to lose them. Then I put them back. I’m not particularly neat. I spend most of the comic process off the computer, so most of my digital work is just on an iPad where I can sit anywhere. I try to keep good lighting around my drafting table and there’s always loose eraser shavings all over.

Natasha Berlin (Pot of Gold)

I got myself a lil corner desk by the dining table. Not as well-lit as I'd like, but it's decently ergonomic and I started putting posters on my wall Plus I can leave work mindset easily by turning off my computer and forgetting about the dark corner in the dining room XD(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My desk is really sloppy and covered in all kinds of junk. I have a harmonica, a ball of yarn, a bunch of ink bottles, etc on my desk. I have my sketchbook under my tablet and usually a notebook somewhere for writing. My tablet sits to the right of my laptop (on top of sketchbook) while I'm not using it and when I'm using it it goes over my computer keyboard. I sometimes have a glass of water or some food sitting to the lefthand side

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The only thing I wanna share about my workspace is this

once i spent over three hours looking for that damned pen

never again

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ajkdhfkjs the models for hte magazine im crying

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh my God

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

mad giggling

Deo101 [Millennium]

youre gonna manage to lose the string

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i know in my heart deo is right but still i hope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

You should weld a metal chain to it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Watch me lose the whole tablet

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh nooo

I believe in you!

TaliePlume

My workspace is a black table with a white, yellow, blue and green tablecloth with 3 black chairs. It's next to the kitchen. On it, is my laptop and the left side is my clipboard, 3 blue folders full of writing. Then above it, is 3 sketchbooks and another blue folder from a class that I took in community college.

June 16, 2020

sagaholmgaard

I have one long desk at almost three meters. On the left side is all my coffee and tea supplies, in the middle is my work space and on the right is my dining table xD I get everything done from there, despite having a mobilestudio so I COULD sit anywhere and work, lol. It's a blessing during holiday seasons to be able to bring it everywhere, but at some I like my designated working space. Although I am moving in a few weeks, so who knows what my new workspace will be

Moral_Gutpunch

My workspace is anywhere I can draw or write. It's more of a "Will I be interrupted over something petty or stupid" issue than space. Not that I don't want more space.

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

My workspace is a big, broken corner desk I managed to lug out of an old apartment when it was gonna be trashed. Before then, I'd just draw in bed. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure the folding chair I sit at is a similar affair. It's got a Dollar General throw pillow on it so I can at least say I'm trying to save my back. The top of the desk is a mess of mostly old bottles and cans, pencils, incense ash, and my old tarot deck. I love this setup dearly. This is the first time I've ever had my own desk space, much less a space I can decorate or leave as messy as I want. Got my own art up on the walls with sticky tack and all! Also the cat's scratching post is directly behind me, because we've learned the cat won't use it unless it's as in the way as possible. What can ya do, lol.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh cats...

Desnik

I got spoiled with an adjustable desk. It is six feet long, and has a whiteboard top for noodling with dry erase markers

my main computer is set up on an adjustable stand so it floats over the desk, and then I have my cintiq, which we tried to mount on a similar stand but then it was just too heavy

I keep my dice collection nearby because fidgeting helps think things through sometimes

and rolling to make odd decisions never hurts

lately during the quarantine I've been sharing the office with my spouse so we've had to establish rules over when it's okay to bug each other(edited)

oh yeah and we also have a whiteboard installed in the office, and it rules!(edited)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Mine is pretty simple: I have a laptop that's long stopped being portable and is now mostly just sitting at my desk at all times and a 19 inch Ugee as my display. I usually keep a lot of stuff on top of my desk, but it's mostly just a mess because I have been using it for work too for a while now

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I suppose I'll talk about my setup too :) My main setup is where I do digital art. I share an office with my SO, so we both have workspaces on opposite walls from each other. I work on a corner desk that holds my beefy computer, two monitors, and a Huion Kamvas GT-191. That's where I draw my comic and pretty much everything else done digitally. Ngl, it's a mess right now. I have comic notes and location floor plans in sketchbooks and DnD character sheets spread out all over the surface, and random pens and sticky notes. In the corner of the room, we have a nice large-format printer where I produce prints for conventions. I actually sketch my pages on an iPad pro in Procreate, so during the sketch phase, sometimes I'll just bundle up on my couch and do it, or before quarantine, sometimes I'd sketch on the go. My other workspace (which hasn't gotten much love as of late tbh) is a drafting table in the corner of our living room. I keep a tabletop easel on it and my Copic markers, as well as whatever I'm working on at the moment. (RN it's some ink washes.) The drawers hold all my ink, pencils, erasers, etc. Next to the drafting table is where I keep all my large charcoal, graphite, and oil pastel drawings (mostly school projects), and my large paintings. Other than that, I have a nifty little cart where I keep painting supplies :) I will say, this setup is by far an enormous improvement from my previous setups.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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lastbluetardis · 5 years

Text

Family of Six (5/14)

After James and Rose bring their newborn twins home, they work to find a balance between all four of their children, and each other. Ten x Rose AU, Soulmates AU.

This chapter:Teen, 7500 words

Ages of the Tyler-McCrimmons at the start of the chapter: James: 39, Rose: 33, Ainsley: 9, Sianin: (almost) 6, Twins: 3 weeks

If you like reading my stories, consider leaving me a tip? Or leave a reply on this post to tell me what you thought? And as always, reblogs are very much appreciated so more people can see this.

Chapters will be posted every other week → next update: September 3rd. (Notice that the chapter count went up... there’s going to be twelve chapters and an epilogue.)

Note: This chapter has some slight warnings for allusions to child abuse, as well as implying an underage relationship (between a 17- and 18-year-old).

AO3 | TSP | FF | Perfectly Matched Series

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 | Ch12 | Ch13 | Ch14

Robert walked into the house, immediately spotting the almost-birthday girl.

“Happy Birthday, Sianin my darling,” he said, crouching down for a hug. She bolted into his open arms and he stood with her.

“It’s not actually my birthday yet, Grandad,” she said matter-of-factly.

“It’s not?” he asked, his jaw dropping.

Sianin giggled as she shook her head. “Nope! It’s not ‘til tomorrow.”

“Oh…” Robert glanced down at the small pile of packages in the bag he’d been carrying. “I guess I can’t give you your presents yet, then?”

“No, no,” Sianin said hastily, looking panicked. “The party’s my pretend birthday, so we’re still doing cake and presents and everything.”

Robert laughed and blew a raspberry into her neck, making her shriek and squirm in his arms. After giving her a final squeeze and a kiss, he set Sianin on her feet and turned to greet his other granddaughter. He couldn’t quite pick Ainsley up anymore, but he gave her a great big hug that lifted her off her toes for a few seconds.

“Mum’s in the kitchen,” she announced. “And Dad went out to get more ice cream.”

Robert stepped into the kitchen and saw Rose at the counter chopping vegetables.

“Hi Dad!” she said, grinning. “I’d give you a hug, but, well…” She brandished the knife in her hand.

“I’ll get one later,” he said. “Do you need some help?”

“Nah, I think I’ve got it covered.”

“Lookie what Elena and Juliette drew me!”

Sianin skipped into the kitchen, waving her right arm. He saw a bunch of little doodles, including a birthday cake with six candles and three stick figures in pointy party hats. He remembered the days when James would proudly show him and Vera the drawings Rose had made for him, especially on holidays.

“That’s lovely,” Rose said.

“I wish they could come to my party,” Sianin sighed, tracing her fingertip over the ink on her arm.

“Soon, darling,” Robert soothed.

“Nuh uh! I have to wait ‘til I’m eighteen, but that’s ages away!” Sianin whined, slumping dramatically across the table.

“It’ll be here before you know it,” Rose said sympathetically. “And it’ll be well worth the wait.”

“Your first meeting with your soulmates is going to be utterly magical and spectacular,” Robert chimed in. “It’ll be one of the best days of your life, and you’ll look back and realize that the wait wasn’t as long as you’d thought.”

Sianin made a small noise of disbelief. “What was your first meeting like, Grandad?”

“It was… incredible,” he said softly, his chest aching with a combination of sorrow, longing, and joy as the memory conjured itself in his mind.

“I’m leaving as soon as I’m eighteen. I can’t stand to be in this house a moment longer,” he’d written onto his arms one night. His father had, once again, taken Robert’s entire paycheck from his job at the butcher’s for not only rent, but more liquor too.

“I’m so sorry about your dad,” Vera replied. And after a beat, she wrote, “Where would you go?”

“I don’t care. Anywhere. I’ll hide out in the shop after it closes. I’ll go to a group home. I’ll live in a goddamned park if I have to.”

“Don’t do that! It’s January for God’s sake! You’d freeze to death!”

“I can’t stay in this house anymore, Vee.”

She was quiet for a long time. Long enough that Robert brushed his teeth and crawled into bed for the night. He kept his bedside lamp on for a few minutes longer, hoping she hadn’t fallen asleep already.

Finally, she wrote back. “Well… if you want… my house has got plenty of spare rooms. My parents said they wouldn’t mind (that’s where I was just now).”

Her words came slowly, as though she was nervous to say them.

His heart lifted, but he tried to quash the hope.

“We can’t meet yet, darling,” he said, wishing so badly they could. “You know that.”

“I know. But…” There was a long pause. “What difference would ten months make? No one would report you or anything. And if they did, they’d have me to reckon with. Just think about it? Please?”

Robert told her that he would, even though a larger piece of him told him it was probably impossible.

As his eighteenth birthday grew nearer and nearer, Robert started to seriously consider Vera’s offer. A recent winter snowstorm made him rethink some of his previous ideas. However, she hadn’t brought it up again, which made him nervous that she regretted her invitation.

Then one night his father gave him a split lip for not forking over the entirety of his latest paycheck. His father had hit him before, but mostly uncoordinated swats or a tightly-gripped arm. Never hard enough to draw blood or a bruise. Then again, Robert had never withheld money from his father before. Robert had begun working longer hours, squirreling away the extra money for when he could finally meet Vera. But his father had somehow found out and confronted him about it.

Robert had gone to bed without dinner and his money, near tears with anger, frustration, and helplessness.

“Hey, Vee?”

“Yeah, love?”

Her quick reply made his tears spill over. He wiped them away when they rolled into his raw lip.

“I was wondering…” He couldn’t bring himself to get the words out. He felt pathetic.

“Wondering?” she coaxed.

“What you said about your house having plenty of spare rooms. Is that… Could I…”

He started and crossed out several sentences before Vera said, “You are more than welcome to come stay with me and my mum and dad. More than welcome.” She underlined those words heavily. “You’re family. Have been for as long as we’ve been soulmated. My parents already consider you to be their son.”

His tears started up again in earnest, and all he managed to say was, “Thank you.”

Barely a week later, Robert found himself on the train headed to Scotland. He’d packed the barest of essentials: clothing, mostly, as well as a few books and all of the letters he and Vera had exchanged over the years. His entire life—the last eighteen years—fit in one medium-sized suitcase and a backpack. Looking at how little he had made Robert feel hollow inside.

The train ride took forever. He tried to distract himself with a book, but couldn’t silence his racing thoughts. His father had been furious when he realized his son was leaving. Robert had hoped to be out of the house before he had woken up. Alas, his father stumbled into the kitchen as Robert was writing a brief note telling him he was leaving and never returning.

His father had shouted at him and lunged for him, but was too hungover to properly do any damage. Robert grabbed his suitcase and used it to push his father to the side, then he left the house behind without ever looking back.

Robert knew his father’s fury wasn’t due to any emotional attachment; it was simply because a source of income was gone. Robert had learned ages ago not to expect an ounce of love or affection from his father. The only thing he did learn was what kind of father he himself wanted to be, if he and Vera were lucky enough to have children one day. He would be the sort of father his children could come to without hesitation, without fear, and know that they would be loved endlessly and eternally, no matter what.

Ignoring the lingering guilt of leaving his father behind, Robert had walked all the way to the train station. He’d bought a ticket with the small amount of money he’d managed to hide from his father. Finally free, Robert was now on his way to meet the woman he’d loved his whole life.

After the train ride, he hailed a taxi to Vera’s home. If his calculations were correct, the drive would use up the last of his money, leaving him penniless and homeless to meet his soulmate.

“A great start,” he scoffed to himself.

He gave the driver the address and slouched in the back seat as he was driven out of the city to a small neighboring town. Even then, they bypassed the town until they were in a wooded area. He grew nervous that maybe he’d gotten the address wrong. But he’d been sending letters to her for years, and she’d always gotten them.

The driver made an abrupt turn that had Robert clinging to the seat to keep from toppling. The car wound through trees on a narrow, bumpy road before turning onto a long dirt road. The dirt road was actually a driveway that opened up to a huge old manor house.

Robert’s eyes widened as he took in the beautiful home with the pristine white wrap-around porch and the wide expanse of grass around it. There was a tree line beyond the house, stretching out farther than Robert could see. His stomach lurched and his heart hammered. This was where Vera lived? It was like a castle.

Self-consciousness burned like acid in the back of his throat, and he was painfully aware of his tattered, ill-fitting clothes and unkempt hair and dusty shoes.

The taxi pulled to a stop. Robert fought against the impulse to tell the driver he’d gotten the wrong address and to take him back to the train station. But he couldn’t afford another taxi ride into the city. Or a new train ticket.

A flash of movement caught his eye, and Robert saw a girl with dark brown hair jump off the front porch, not bothering with the steps as she ran towards him. His stomach unknotted and he fumbled for the door handle.

“Robert! Robert!”

She had the most beautiful voice in the world. It made his knees tremble, and he was sure he was about to fall face-first into the frozen ground.

“Robert!” she shouted again. Her face was split into a wide grin. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

“Vera,” he breathed. He forced his legs to stay steady as he took a few steps towards her. His stride grew longer and longer until he was running too.

She flung her arms wide and he followed suit half a second before their bodies slammed together. The breath left his lungs in a gasp, and he heard her make a similar noise. Then he was being held and squeezed by the person he loved most in the world.

“You’re here!” she cried.

She pulled back from their embrace, tears streaming down her cheeks. It was an automatic response for him to lift his hands to cradle her cheeks, swiping at her tears with his thumbs. He didn’t realize he was crying too until she copied his movements.

“Hi!” she giggled, beaming at him.

“Hi,” he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. He caught a whiff of her shampoo. She smelled amazing.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” she said, running her fingers through his hair, then down his cheek, before resting her palm against his chest. “You’re here. Oh! Happy Birthday!”

She lifted onto her toes and pecked a kiss to his cheek, then rocked back onto her heels, her cheeks pink.

“This is the best birthday I’ve ever had,” he told her honestly, his eyes flickering across her face, memorizing every detail. She was more lovely than his imagination had been able to conjure; he didn’t think he would ever grow tired of looking at her.

Robert was then aware that the taxi was pulling off down the driveway.

“My things,” he protested, turning, but he saw a middle-aged man and woman holding his suitcase and backpack. “I… I didn’t pay him.”

“We’ve got it,” Vera’s mother said gently, stepping up to him. “Our birthday gift to you.”

She set his backpack on the ground and opened her arms in an invitation for a hug, one that he stepped in to. He held himself somewhat stiffly for a second—wasn’t it awkward to hug a virtual stranger?—but the hug felt so nice that he couldn’t help but relax into it.

“We’re so happy to see you,” she whispered into his ear, then she kissed his cheek.

She released him, and he turned to Vera’s father. Despite his enormous size—he stood at least half a foot taller than Robert’s six feet—his face was kind and there were laugh lines around his mouth and eyes.

Robert stuck out his hand to shake his, but was instead pulled into another hug, to his surprise.

“Welcome,” Vera’s father said, giving him a firm squeeze. He pulled away and ruffled Robert’s hair.

His cheeks burned with an odd mixture of pleasure and embarrassment.

Vera skipped up beside him and hugged his arm to her chest, then twined her fingers through his.

“Are you hungry?” Vera’s mother asked. “Nobody’s eaten lunch yet. Let’s go inside and out of this cold. C’mon my dears.”

Vera’s parents picked up his bags and began walking hand-in-hand towards the house. Before he could follow them, Vera gave his hand a squeeze and tugged at his arm. He looked down at her and couldn’t help but smile. He was finally with his soulmate. She returned the expression, then reached up and rested her palm on his cheek.

“I love you,” she said softly.

He thought his heart might collapse in on itself, and he was slightly mortified to feel tears welling in his throat. Swallowing them away, he covered her hand with his and turned his head to the side to press a long kiss to her palm. He took her hand off his face and brought her knuckles to his lips.

“I love you, too,” he murmured into her skin. “So very much.”

Her face was beautifully pink, and he couldn’t resist kissing her fingers again. He then tucked her small hand into his and followed the people that would become his new family into the house.

“Awww.” Sianin’s dreamy coo brought Robert out of his own head and back to the kitchen.

Of course, Robert had skimmed over the details of his father and had expanded upon the details of Vera, but he stayed as close to the truth as he could.

“That sounds lovely,” Rose breathed, misty-eyed. Robert realized with a start this was the first he’d told Rose about his first meeting with Vera.

“It was,” he said simply.

Robert stuck his hand into his pocket for his wallet. When he withdrew it, he opened it up and took a small faded photograph from within. The photo was of a lanky, messy-haired boy with his arm around a petite brown-haired girl. They were both beaming.

“Look at this,” Robert said, sliding the photo across the table so his granddaughter could see. “That’s the day we met.”

“Oh!” Rose clasped her hands to her chest and smiled down at the picture.

“You look like Daddy,” Sianin observed.

“No, your daddy looks like him,” Rose corrected. When Sianin frowned in confusion, she clarified, “A child looks like their parent, not the other way ‘round, since the parent made the child.”

Sianin ignored her mother and instead looked down at the photo again. “She’s very pretty. She looks like Ainsley.” Sianin then glanced sidelong at Rose. “Er… I mean, Ainsley looks like her.”

“She was the prettiest girl I’d ever met… apart from my beautiful little granddaughters.”

He lifted up Sianin’s party hat and ruffled his fingers through her hair. She squealed and ducked out of his touch, but he caught her around the waist and peppered kisses across her neck and cheeks just to hear her laugh again.

“I love you,” he whispered to her.

“Love you too, Grandad,” she said, breathless and beaming.

The front door then opened, and James called out, “I’m back! And some guests have arrived. Sian, your mate Emma is here.”

Sianin scurried out from Robert’s arms and darted to the front of the house. He watched her go with a fond smile.

He picked up the photograph of him and Vera and tucked it safely into his wallet behind James and Rose’s latest family Christmas photo. He made a mental note to ask Rose if she had any family photos that included the twins, and if he could get a copy.

“Meeting before she turned eighteen… how scandalous.” Rose stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she smirked at him.

Robert rolled his eyes. “You know how big the manor house is… I had my own bedroom, and she had hers.”

“And how long did it take before you started sharing?” Rose teased knowingly.

“Longer than it took you and James,” Robert replied sweetly, laughing at the deep blush staining her cheeks and neck. “You know, I never did thank you.”

Rose frowned. “For what?”

“Being there for James when he needed you the most. And me.”

“Dad…” Her voice was soft as she approached him. She rested her hands on his cheeks and said, “You will never need to thank me for that. For either of you. I love you and James so much. I didn’t hesitate. You both needed me, so I went.”

He smiled at her.

“I love you,” he said, taking her hands off his cheeks to kiss the backs of her knuckles.

“I love you, too.” After a beat, she said, “By the way, your dad was an absolute wanker and you deserved so much better.”

“Yeah, he was,” Robert agreed. He hadn’t spared his father a single thought over the last fifty years except the day he was notified his father had passed away. He didn’t bother going to the funeral, and Vera hadn’t pressed it. “But he doesn’t matter. He was my past. I found a new home, a new life, in Vera. Then also in James. And now with you and my granddaughters, too. My life is so full, and I wouldn’t change anything.”

“Not anything,” Rose mumbled, her eyes going sad.

A familiar ache wrapped itself around Robert’s heart.

“I still miss her,” Rose confessed.

“I do too, darling.” He took Rose into his arms and rocked her from side to side. “But I still wouldn’t change anything. Even if it meant having her back, I wouldn’t erase a second of the time I’ve had with you and my grandchildren.”

Rose squeezed him tightly, then let him go to return to the vegetable chopping.

The guests began arriving in a steady trickle, with James and Sianin greeting everyone while Rose finished up the work in the kitchen. When she was able to join the party, she saw everyone was split into groups. Sianin was playing on the floor with the five friends she’d been allowed to invite, while the adults—their family members, mostly—cooed at the two sleeping bundles in James and Jackie’s arms.

“Oh, Rose, they’re simply beautiful!”

“They’re adorable!”

“Wow, you’re looking amazing, Rose!”

Rose dutifully smiled and accepted everyone’s compliments, shooting James a wink whenever anyone congratulated her on their beautiful babies. It was a running joke between them that she got all of the praise for making their children, as though they’d magicked themselves into being rather than have any contribution from him.

Ainsley was the lone misfit of the party. She was too old to play with Sianin and her friends, but too young to be fully integrated in the adults’ conversations. As a result, she hopped between groups and often hovered by the twins, helping whoever happened to be holding them.

“No Sylvia today?”

Rose looked over at her husband’s voice, not realizing new guests had arrived.

Donna, Lee—who was holding little Joshua—and Wilf stepped into the foyer. Rose went over to greet them with a hug and kiss apiece, including a raspberry for Joshua.

“Mum was indisposed,” Donna said, giving Rose a meaningful look.

“Everyone’s in the living room,” Rose said. “The pizza should be here soon, but there are nibbles to pick at in the meantime. Drinks are in the kitchen; Donna, want to lend me a hand?”

Donna gladly followed Rose into the kitchen and away from prying ears.

“Indisposed, eh?” Rose asked when they were alone.

Donna went to a bottle of wine, pouring some into a paper cup.

“We sort of… had a falling out,” Donna admitted once she drained half the cup in one go. Rose stayed silent, letting Donna gather her thoughts and continue her story, if she wanted. “Lee and I decided we want another baby.”

“That’s exciting!”

“Thanks. Mum didn’t think so. Joshua’s a little bit… behind the other kids his age,” Donna admitted, her cheeks turning pink. “Developmentally. The doctors said it’s nothing to be too concerned about yet. But he’s nearly two and hasn’t started walking yet. And because he isn’t walking, we can’t even think about preparing to toilet train him.”

“He’ll get there,” Rose assured. “And toilet training is a long way off. He’s not even two yet.”

“That what I’ve been saying, but Mum thinks Lee and I are doing Joshua a disservice by trying to have another baby when we’re… what did she say?” Donna frowned and stared off into the distance while she tried to remember. “Oh! When we’re neglecting the child we already have.”

Rose gasped, a combination of sympathy and anger bubbling up within her. “Oh, Donna.”

“Yeah. So now of course I’m worrying that maybe Mum’s right, and that we should try to get Joshua the help he needs before our lives are thrown into chaos from a new baby.”

“But you said the doctors weren’t concerned, so what help does he need?” Rose asked, puzzled.

“Exactly! I dunno, Rose. This is all so hard. I’m terrified I’m not doing the right thing for my child. But what more can Lee or I do? We have him in nursery, so he gets socialized with other kids his age and is with professional childcare experts. And when we come home, it’s not like we ignore him or anything. We play with him, we read to him, we try and get him to want to walk, but he absolutely refuses. He screams his little head off and starts crying for us to pick him up. Or he just happily crawls everywhere.”

Donna sighed and scrubbed her fist into her forehead. Rose stepped up and wrapped Donna in a loose hug.

“I love Joshua so much,” Donna whispered. “God, I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. But I just… want another baby before I get too old.”

Rose nodded, understanding all too well what the other woman was going through.

“Needless to say, Mum and I had it out.” Donna shook her head in dismay. “I told her if she wasn’t going to accept and support her grandson as he was, then she wasn’t going to have the privilege of seeing him at all. I’m not going to let her stand around and talk down about him where he can hear her. He might only be a little boy, but I’m sure he can understand more than we realize.”

“Good for you,” Rose murmured, rubbing a hand up and down Donna’s back. “I’m sorry about your mum though.”

“And I feel awful for putting Gramps in the middle of it. I feel like I’ve made him choose between his daughter and his granddaughter.”

Rose gave her a comforting squeeze, and once Donna had composed herself, they joined the party.

Their house was loud, hectic, and full of people—the twins handled it well though, considering this was their first time around so many other people. Rose and James ran themselves ragged, making sure that not only were their babies satisfied, but that all of their guests were attended to, especially Sianin and her friends. They appeared to be content to stay as a group and play together.

The family all tripped over themselves to have a turn with the twins. Rose hadn’t needed to change a nappy or comfort a crying infant all afternoon. Her mother and James’s dad in particular seemed to self-appoint themselves as the babies’ caretakers, and were often disappearing into the nursery with one of the twins.

“Hey Dad? We’re doing the cake soon.” Rose leaned up against the door frame of the nursery and found her father-in-law sitting in the rocking chair, bottle-feeding one of the babies. Hannah, she thought, but she couldn’t quite see her daughter’s face well enough to distinguish.

“I hope you don’t mind?” he said sheepishly. “James gave me a bottle out of the fridge.”

“It’s fine,” Rose assured. Because she breastfed, it was rare for somebody other than her to feed the babies. She knew Robert enjoyed the task though.

The sight of her nursing daughter made her breasts become tender. She would have to sneak away and pump soon. “I was just saying, we were about ready to do the cake. Did you want us to wait for you?”

“Nah, it’s all right,” he said. “I’ll join you when she’s done.”

Rose nodded and moved back to the kitchen, where she found James sticking six candles into the chocolate cake before sampling a bit of the peanut butter icing.

“I’m sure it doesn’t taste that different from when you made it last night,” Rose drawled, smacking at his hand.

“Well, you never know,” he said innocently. “A good scientist always performs an experiment to test that his hypothesis is still valid.”

“Uh huh,” Rose said dubiously. “Last I checked, scientists weren’t supposed to go around licking the science.”

“Oh… well… ehm…” James floundered for a few moments before turning away from her for the matches. “Is Dad coming? I set him up with Hannah and a bottle a few minutes ago.”

“He said to go on without him,” Rose answered. “After this, I’m gonna need to go pump unless I want my tits to start leaking all over the place.”

“Just not on the cake,” James said, pulling it away from her.

She swatted him halfheartedly, then went into the living room to let everyone know the cake was coming out in a minute. When she returned to the kitchen, James was touching a lit match to the last candle. The flame had burnt close to his fingers, and he hissed as he quickly blew it out and dropped the smoking match into the sink.

“Ready?” she asked, grabbing her camera off the kitchen island.

“As I’ll ever be,” he said, picking up the pan.

Rose guided him out into the living room, flicking the lights off as she did so. Sianin looked up excitedly at her and James as they approached and began to sing. As they sang, Sianin looked around the room at her family and friends before she stared into the flickering candles on the cake that James set on the coffee table in front of her.

Rose loved getting this shot, when the candles reflected in her child’s eyes and cast shadows across her face. If it wasn’t such a hazard, she would love to have fire in all of the photoshoots she did.

She took as many photos as she could of Sianin’s face scrunching up as she thought of a wish, then of her cheeks puffing up as she blew out her candles. The room broke into applause as she extinguished them all in one breath.

Sianin carefully pulled the candles out of the cake and licked off the crumbs and icing clinging to the waxy surface.

“We’ll all get some cake and ice cream, then we’ll do presents,” Rose said, carrying the cake back into the kitchen.

“You can go pump, I’ve got this,” James said, making a shooing motion with his hands.

Rose skipped up to him and pecked a kiss to his cheek in thanks.

When she returned, her breasts feeling much more comfortable, Sianin ripped through the multitude of gifts everyone brought for her. As soon as all the gifts were opened, she and her friends took over half the toys out of the packaging and began playing with them.

Rose sat back on the couch with a piece of cake and her camera. She took shots of all of the family as everyone began to wind down from the excitement of the party. The parents of Sianin’s friends would be arriving soon to pick up their kids, and hopefully that would entice the rest of the family to leave too. Being a party host was utterly exhausting and Rose was ready to have her house to herself again.

“Rose! Rose, come look! Quick!”

Rose lowered the camera from where she was about to catch a photo of Sianin and Ainsley. She turned towards her husband. He was sitting on the sofa with Maddie lying in the cradle of his thighs.

“She smiled at me,” he said. “I swear it. She actually, properly smiled at me!”

“Oh, don’t be stupid,” Jackie scoffed, even as she walked towards him. “She’s too little to smile.”

Rose rolled her eyes at her mother and had to bite her tongue to keep from reprimanding her in front of the other guests. She instead snapped a quick photo of James holding Maddie before she went to stand behind him. She draped her arms around his shoulders and looked down at their three-week-old baby who, as much as she didn’t want to admit her mother was right, probably hadn’t actually smiled at James.

“Do you want to smile for Mummy? Do you want to smile for Mummy? Or are you gonna be shy? No need to be shy, my darling, not with those beautiful big dimple-wimples and those lovely pink wittle gummy-wummies. Want to flash Daddy your gummy-wummies? Eh?”

Rose smiled fondly at her husband as he dissolved into his rarely-used baby babble. But then, as James started talking about her “big blue eyesie-wisies”, the baby’s lips quirked up and her eyes scrunched as she grinned.

“Oh!”

“Look at that beautiful wittle smile!” James crooned. “Maddie-Waddie has a beautiful wittle smile-wile, doesn’t she?”

Rose brought her camera up and, heedless of trying to get the perfect shot, began snapping photos at random, hoping that at least one would turn out well.

“Anybody would smile at your daddy’s silly voice,” Rose cooed. “Wouldn’t they? He sounds so funny, doesn’t he?”

“Yes he does,” James sang. “Yes he does!”

A crowd had formed a semi-circle around them, hoping to get a glimpse of Maddie’s first smiles. Everyone began making silly faces and speaking gibberish to try to be the next person to make a three-week-old baby miraculously smile; all they managed to do, however, was overstimulate her and send her into a whimpering fit.

oOoOo

Once all the partygoers had departed for the evening, the James and Rose collapsed in an exhausted heap on the couch. Everyone and everything was quiet. The twins had fallen asleep, and Sianin disappeared into her room with Ainsley to play with her new toys.

“We should clean up,” James mumbled, even as he rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes.

“Mhm,” Rose agreed, sitting in a similar position. “In a moment, though.”

“Maybe two moments,” James replied.

They each dozed for the next hour, and when they awoke, they were groggy but somewhat refreshed. They used their rejuvenated energy to clean up the worst of the mess from the party.

They weren’t particularly hungry when dinnertime rolled around, but knew they ought to eat something more substantial than the snacks and birthday cake they’d eaten that afternoon.

“Ainsley, Sianin, are you hungry?” James called out as he moved down the hall. “We’ve got some leftover pizza.”

He leaned against the door frame of Sianin’s room; his daughters were playing with the multi-tiered toy car ramp that Jackie had brought as a gift.

“Girls, are you hungry?”

“A little,” Ainsley said, looking up at him. Sianin continued playing with her toy.

“Well, food’s in the kitchen,” he said, thumbing behind him.

When he returned, Rose was sprinkling cheese on top of her salad as she nibbled on a slice of cold pizza. He scooped out his own salad and stole a bite of Rose’s pizza, earning him a smack on the shoulder.

A few minutes later, Ainsley skipped into the kitchen alone.

“Sianin not hungry?” Rose asked.

“She’s angry with you,” Ainsley said before putting a piece of pizza in the microwave.

James paused with his fork half way to his mouth; a bit of salad dressing dripped onto the table.

“What do you mean?” Rose asked.

“Sianin’s angry with you,” Ainsley repeated unhelpfully.

James looked over at Rose, who seemed just as puzzled as he was.

“Why is she angry?” Rose asked.

Ainsley shrugged. “Nobody paid attention to her at her party.”

“Sure they did,” James argued.

“Not according to her,” Ainsley replied, popping open the microwave door a second before it would have beeped.

James was utterly confused. Sianin looked like she’d had fun at her party; she played with her friends the entire afternoon.

He and Rose moved at the same time, setting down their forks and pushing away from the table to walk down the hall to Sianin’s bedroom. Their almost-six-year-old was sitting on the floor exactly how James had left her ten minutes ago.

The toy she was playing with had five car ramps that all circled around each other, and Sianin was using them to cause a massive pile-up in the center where all the ramps ended. James thought the various ramps were to race the cars against each other; leave it to his daughter to prefer making them all crash.

They knocked on her open bedroom door right as she made an explosion sound with her mouth.

Sianin looked up at them briefly, then returned her attention to her toy, resolutely ignoring them. For good measure, she even scooted further around, turning her back completely to them.

“What are you playing with, darling?” James asked softly.

“Cars,” she answered shortly.

“Looks like fun.”

“Yup.”

“Can Mummy and I join you?”

“No.”

James clenched his hands into fists, his nails biting into his palms. How had they not noticed before that Sianin was upset?

“Why not, love?” Rose asked, stepping into the room.

She crouched in front of Sianin while James sat on the bed behind his wife. Sianin shrugged.

“Are you angry with us?” James asked quietly.

Sianin shrugged again.

“What’s the matter, darling?”

Many long seconds passed before she grumbled, “I hate the babies. They’re stupid and take up all the attention. It was my birthday party but everyone only wanted to see them.”

James’s chest caved in on itself, snatching the air from his lungs. “This is the first anyone has seen the twins. It was exciting for them.”

Sianin continued on as if he hadn’t spoken. “And when I blew out my candles, Grandad wasn’t even there. Then everyone went to go see Maddie smile. How is smiling that big a deal anyway? Everyone smiles.”

“That was her first smile, love.” Rose’s voice shook slightly. “There’s only one first smile.”

“What about a sixth birthday party?” Sianin shouted. “I only turn six once but no one cares ‘cos the babies are here instead!”

“That’s not true…”

“It is true. Everyone wanted to be with the babies instead of me.”

“We’re sorry, darling. Truly. But your sisters are very little and…”

“You’re making excuses!” she screamed, angry tears beginning to leak down her cheeks. She swiped at her face and said, “I don’t want you here. Leave me alone!”

James froze on the bed, not knowing what to do. He wanted to stay and comfort his child, but he was the reason his child needed comforting.

“Sianin, we’re so sorry…”

“Go away,” she wailed. “Go away!”

Rose stood up and tugged James to his feet. Together they exited Sianin’s bedroom, and after they made it a few steps down the hall, they heard her door slam shut, making them both flinch.

“Shit,” Rose whimpered, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Shit!”

“What a mess,” James agreed, rubbing his hand up and down Rose’s arm. “We’ll let her cool off, then talk to her again.”

When they walked back into the kitchen, Ainsley was just finishing up her pizza.

“Told you she was angry.”

“Yes, thank you Ainsley,” James snapped.

Ainsley held up her hands defensively, then pushed back from the table to put her plate in the full sink.

“Can you help me load the dishwasher?” James asked.

“Don’t you want to finish eating?” Ainsley asked.

“Not very hungry. I ate too much at the party,” he lied. In truth, his appetite had been obliterated upon seeing Sianin’s distress. He dumped his salad into the trash and together, he and Ainsley filled the dishwasher to capacity then hand-washed the rest.

The evening passed slowly, with Ainsley and Rose reading on the couch and James pretending to read while his brain whirred frantically to figure out how to fix things with Sianin. Sure, a lot of the family had spent time with the twins, but they’d also spent time with Sianin, hadn’t they? And besides, Sianin had been with her friends for most of the party.

Unless she’d been with her friends so much because everyone’s attention was elsewhere.

Bugger, he said to himself.

James got through nearly fifty pages of his book without absorbing a single word, but finally it was time to get the girls ready for bed. Sianin was still in her room but playing with a different toy when he went to summon her.

“Sianin, bath time.”

“No. I don’t want to,” she said.

“Well, you have to,” he countered. “Come on.”

“I’ll do it myself,” she said, grudgingly getting to her feet. “Without you.”

“You can’t be in the bathtub by yourself,” he said. “It’s not safe.”

Sianin huffed out an annoyed breath, pushed past him, and marched to the loo.

“I’m gonna do it!” she said when he turned on the water out of habit.

“Sorry,” he said, turning it off.

He gestured for her to go ahead and turn on the tap and adjust the temperature however she wanted it. It took her much, much longer than it would have taken him, and he cringed as she stuck her hand under the stream when she had the dial set all the way to hot.

She yelped and yanked her hand away, then turned the tap to make it cold.

In the end, the bathtub was filled with water that was only tepid at best, but Sianin didn’t say a word as she stripped and lowered herself into the tub.

It was one of the most torturous bath times James had ever been a part of. Sianin was utterly silent and efficient in her movements, and she snapped at him whenever he tried to assist her.

“I’m trying to help,” he said defensively, setting down the shampoo bottle he’d been trying to hand to her. “Don’t be angry with me for that.”

Finally, Sianin finished bathing herself and stood up out of the now-cold water and drained the tub. Goosebumps prickled across her skin and she began shivering lightly as she pulled a towel around her body. Rather than dry herself off, Sianin hugged her towel tighter, a frown etched into her face.

“A bit chilly?” he asked gently.

She didn’t say anything.

“Do you want a warm Daddy hug?” he asked, opening his arms.

Sianin sniffed. “I can do it myself.”

“Of course you can,” he said. “But there’s no harm in getting a bit of help, too. Daddy will always be here to help his little girl, no matter what.”

Sianin glowered at the floor for a long minute before she stepped into his open arms. Her body was damp, but he pulled her close anyway. As soon as she was ensconced in his embrace, a violent shudder rippled through her body.

“My bath was cold,” she muttered sadly.

“I know,” he said. “You’ll get better at figuring out the right temperature.”

He held her in his arms for a few minutes, trying to warm her up. When her shivering subsided, he let her step away to dry herself off then change into pajamas. After she brushed her teeth, he followed her to her bedroom and dried her hair, but when he grabbed a book off the shelf, Sianin shook her head.

“I don’t want a bedtime story tonight,” she said, tucking herself further into her blankets.

“No?” he asked, his heart falling.

“No.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “If you change your mind, or want to talk, Mummy and I are always here for you.” He set the books back and stepped up to her. He kissed her forehead and whispered, “I love you, Sianin.”

“G’night,” she said, and she turned away from him.

James exited the room, pulling the door shut behind him. With a heavy exhale, he walked to Ainsley’s ajar bedroom door, and saw her sitting up in bed, reading.

“Did Mum read aloud with you?” he asked wearily, digging his forefinger into his eyes.

“Yeah,” she said. “Only a couple pages though ‘cos Hannah started crying.”

James stepped into the room. “Let’s finish out the chapter, eh?”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to,” Ainsley said.

“I want to.” And he did. Bedtime stories were one of his favorite parts of the night, and it killed him that one of his children hadn’t wanted one that night.

Ainsley scooted to the far edge of her mattress, giving him plenty of space to sit beside her.

“Is Sianin okay?” Ainsley asked, feathering her fingers through the pages of the book.

“She will be. She’s just a little upset tonight,” he answered. “Can you do me a really big favor? If she comes to you and wants to talk, can you listen? Or if she wants to sleep with you, can you let her? Let me and Mum know if it becomes a problem, but at least for the next couple of nights?”

Ainsley nodded, and he flashed her a small smile. “Thank you. Now, what’s going on with Harry and his mates?”

He lounged with his eldest as she read about the trio’s adventures with the Polyjuice potion. When she finished, he tucked her in, kissed her forehead, then turned off the lights. He pulled her door shut behind him, then made his way back to the living room.

Rose was sitting with the twins on the couch.

“That was the worst bedtime in the history of bedtimes,” he announced dramatically as he plopped into the seat beside her.

Rose pursed her lips in sympathy. “Hopefully Sian’s in a better mood tomorrow.”

“Yeah. God, I’m knackered. The party was exhausting enough, now our kid hates us.”

“I don’t think she hates us, James,” Rose said. “She’s just… upset.”

He grunted in reply. “Have we done something wrong? Did we not prepare her enough for having baby siblings?”

“I don’t know,” Rose admitted. “Let’s try not to worry about it too much now. There’s nothing we can do. Tomorrow, we’ll talk to her and see how we can help her adjust better.”

“Yeah. I wish we could’ve ended the day on better terms. This was supposed to be her day, after all. It was supposed to be fun.”

Rose didn’t say anything. She instead rested her head on his shoulder.

James pressed a kiss to her hair and stroked his fingers absently up and down one of the twins’ backs.

“Want her?” Rose asked.

“Please.” He slipped his hands beneath his baby’s tiny body and took her into his arms.

While his heart still hurt for Sianin, holding another of his daughters helped soothe the ache. The feel of her warm, solid body released a cocktail of hormones that loosened his taut muscles and attenuated his anxiety.

He brushed his lips across the top of her head, inhaling her fresh baby scent as he did so.

“Love you loads, my darling girl,” he murmured, kissing her again. “Which one are you, eh? Daddy promises he’ll get better at determining it.”

“You’ve got Mads.”

“How do you do that so easily?” he huffed.

“Well, I was the one who changed them into new outfits, and I knew Maddie was in purple while Hannah was in black,” Rose teased, knocking her shoulder into his.

James stuck his tongue out at her, but pressed a kiss to her temple.

“I love you, Rose.”

“I love you, too. We’ll get through this, James. I promise. We’ll figure it out.”

He nuzzled his cheek into her hair, taking comfort from her presence as they both lapsed into silence.

If you’ve made it to the end, consider leaving a comment or reblogging? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

#ficandchips #doctorroseprompts #dwfic #doctor who #ten x rose #ten x rose au #soulmates #soulmates au #james x rose #kid fic #family fic #baby fic #my fic #soulmates verse #perfectly matched series #family of six

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silentexplorer18 · 4 years

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A Little Update

Hi all! I hope all of you are doing well in your 2020 adventures! I thought I’d hit you all with a little (when have I ever written anything little?) life update now that I have a spare bit of time.

I haven’t been the most active on here lately, but I promise I’m seeing you all when you tag me in things (thank you all for that), and noticing when mutuals post. I haven’t been able to read or write as much as I’d like just because of all the life things that have happened through the holidays and new year, but I’m coming on a little more time in my life.

For those of you who have stuck with me for a while now, you may know that I was writing a lot of Colby stuff back in Fall of 2019. I still have a bunch of prompts (Halloween, Christmas, random, you name it) for him that are laying in my fanfiction Google Doc (a hellscape in and of itself, but more on that later) that I plan on writing; however, when I do write for him or anyone else in the future, I doubt it will be with the intensity I was writing back then. Not to say that I’m not going to write, it will just be more 1-5 works a month instead of 1-5 works a week. That’s just way too much for this gal to handle on top of normal life now that I’m finally well again (for those of you that were around during my illness, thanks for sticking with me, and yes, my procedure worked magic).

My SO just went back to school so we’re back in LDR mode [insert the most sarcastic “yay” here], so I’ve spent the last few weeks dedicating my attention to family and our relationship. However, now that he’s back at school, I’ll have some more time to write. My current fanfic document is rather scary, but if you’d like to know what’s going on there, it’s about 45 pages long, and has a lot of different projects on it. There are 6 or 7 WIPs I’m currently shuffling between working on (most of which involve Drarry or Draco). There are also about 10 dormant WIPs that I still have things written for or plot synopsis made, but I’m not actively writing on them right now (most of those involve Colby, Draco, one of the Weasley twins, or Mike). There’s also a George Weasley series I’m sitting on (currently dormant, but fully fleshed out in my mind’s eye). Along with that, I probably have 15 more prompts that I want to write but haven’t plotted out yet. Needless to say, I’ve got a lot of things I’m writing or planning on writing, I’m just not going to rush them out for the sake of “producing content.” This blog, writing fanfics, it’s all meant to be fun, and I’m not going to try to stress myself out trying to write “enough” or curate some sort of aesthetic. I’m gonna write and enjoy writing and enjoy getting to talk to all of you about writing and things I enjoy. :)

That being said, I’d like to reiterate again (from many a post ago) that I am shy. If I’m not reaching out to you or I’m reaching out too zealously, know that it’s because as a whole, communication is rather alarming for me. I love being here on Tumblr, on AO3, and on Wattpad interacting with everyone about things we enjoy and the things I’ve written. But I’m shy, anxious even, so please understand that I’m really excited about your conversations, I’m just also nervous in general. But I LOVE talking with all of you, even when I’m kinda awkward about it, so please understand that even when I’m odd, I’m really sitting here behind my computer going “ooh this is cool! I’m having a cool conversation. This is so fun! Oh shoot, it’s my turn to talk. Gosh, what do I say???”

I’m also kind of awkward about what I’m telling you guys at large. If there’s anything you’d like to know about me, just ask! The only thing I don’t really do is my name (but I’m trying to come up with a good nickname for myself to go by) since I’d rather that be kept off Tumblr, but everything else you can ask away about! :) If any of you would like to know anything about me, send me an ask. I might do a “get to know the blogger” type post here in the near future since all the things I have said about myself are kinda scattered.

Anyway, I hope you all are having a great 2020 so far, and I’m excited to start putting up some more writing this year. Much love to you all!

-Silent

TL;DR I’ve got a lot of WIPs to work on this year that I’m excited about, I’m always welcoming talking with anyone that would like to talk, and if you have any questions about me you’d like to know, send them in! :)

#silent talks #update

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coinelot · 5 years

Photo

Unfortunately we didn’t have time to actually collect fic recs from all guests during the convention, but a bunch of them sent in fic recs to us via email afterwards, and we’d like to share the results with everyone. All in one post, that’s going to be long, but you’ll have them all in one place :).

Angst & Hurt/Comfort

Home Like Here

by @pendragoff, 3,594 words, Teen+

Sometimes at night Arthur pretends Merlin's laying in the bed beside him, fast asleep.

Such Fractured Shadows

by i_claudia, 24,625 words, Explicit

Lionel is the first, approaching Merlin one late summer afternoon as the sun slants through the dust in the stables and turns the air into heavy fire.

Guard and Keep You

by youfeelallthat, 7,426 words, Explicit

A nasty storm rolls in and Merlin takes Arthur, his company's sweet, simple custodian, home with him. They end up finding much more than shelter.

Forming the Lines

by alcove-words, Teen+

Merlin takes ill and is conflicted over Arthur, Arthur is conflicted over Merlin and hates considerate replacement servants, and the knights are helpful, thoughtful fellows.

With podfic by alcove-words.

Saving Merlin

by @arthur-the-cute, 22,794 words, Explicit

A prompt given to me via my ask box on Tumblr: Season one, The Poisoned Chalice. Arthur is in the room when he thinks Merlin has died and instead of Gwen kissing Merlin, Arthur does.

Challenge accepted.

Fluff

To Dance With the One You Love

by emrys_mk, 1,042 words, Teen+

Arthur asks his father why he made Merlin his manservant.

of blowjobs and candy rings

by coffeeandparchment, 6,221 words, Teen+

"No."

"What? I didn't even say anything yet."

"You didn't have to. It's all in your beady little eyes. You want me to give you a piggyback to the club." Arthur said.

"My feet hurt," Merlin said, as if that was a good enough reason for a piggy back. At Arthur's silence, Merlin pouted. Gods, maybe he was a little more than tipsy.

Arthur slowed down as Merlin walked past. "What are you doing now? For someone who is all about doing these quickly you sure ar—” Merlin cut off as he turned to see Arthur stopped and crouching down. "What are you doing?"

Arthur huffed in annoyance. "What does it look like, Merlin? Are you going to get on or just leave me crouching here like an idiot all night?"

Concert Air

by Saturning, 9,303 words

Arthur and Morgana were having the times of their lifes at this rock festival. Then a drunk Merlin almost ran Arthur over and his excuse took Arthur's breath away, quite literally.

Mint Editions (84 Charing Cross Road)

by @wanderlust48, 10,049 words, Teen+

A London bookseller and an aspiring New York writer strike up an easy friendship over correspondences about books, and food parcels. Arthur and Merlin finally meet in person in London.

Screen control your mother(board)

by furloughday, 10,890 words, Gen

Arthur is Merlin's tech support at work.

With podfic by @momotastic27

Canon, Canon AU & Reincarnation

The Curse and the Coffee Shop

by merlinsivan, 21,860 words, Teen+, WIP

OUAT/ Coffee Shop AU. When Morgana casts a curse that will bring the gang back to our world with no recollection of who they are, will true love’s kiss be able to break the curse? Featuring dragons turned baristas, clueless warlocks and kings that may realise magic isn't such a bad thing after all.

Writers Block

by Kalee60sAlterEgo, 45,808 words, Mature

Merlin, a travel writer for a well-known paper went to his local bar to forget the worst day in history – he didn't expect to sit down at a table and free-write a story starring the god-like barman, Arthur. And he 'really' didn't expect to be drawn back there again and again to write – each story more outlandish than the next.

King for a Day

by @guessimaclotpole, 26,592 words

King Uther has had a rough week, and so he drunkenly decides to take a 2 day holiday. Arthur is thrilled at his opportunity to temporarily become King. That is until Uther announces that Merlin will have to act as King too.

In which two idiots are in love, and learn about what it takes to be a noble and honest leader.

The Long Lost Prince of Camelot

by Phoenixfire513, 31,036 words, Teen+

What if Uther had not banned magic? What if Ygraine had given birth to twins and one had magic? What will the king and his twin brother Balinor do when the Prince who had magic is threatened?

Now I Will Unsettle the Ground Beneath You

by nu_breed, 42,323 words, Explicit

Merlin's dreams have always fuelled his art, but they've always been abstract and removed from reality. Soon after he meets Gwaine, he starts to see vivid images of a past full of death and magic and love for a King who was ripped from him. Things only escalate further when he spends a weekend in the country with Gwaine and meets his group of friends, which includes aristocrat and It Boy, Arthur Pendragon. Merlin soon realises that no matter how hard you try, one thing is certain, you can't fuck with destiny.

With podfic by fluffyllama

Three Castles

by @rageprufrock, 4,538 words, Teen+

It’s a perfectly wretched day in Camelot when Uther Pendragon announces Arthur’s betrothal.

With podfic by EosRose

With podfic by paraka

With podfic by dodificus

The Knights Have a Thousand Eyes

by Stakeaclaim, 74,232 words, Teen

In which Arthur is teaching his knights and Merlin is about to get roped into a lesson.

With podfic by Beccaleelee

Route to Advancement

by magog_83, 30,350 words, Gen

New Knight hopeful, Percy, has been at Court four months, but it might be another four years before Prince Arthur stops calling him Perrin. That's where Merlin comes in.

With podfic by kalakirya

Fidelity

by @schweetheart, 70,249 words, Explicit

Arthur and Gwen have been married for a little under a year when Arthur discovers Merlin's magic, and suddenly everything changes. In a desperate attempt to regain the King's trust, Merlin offers to do the only thing he can think of: to voluntarily bind his power, and with it sacrifice all hope for a united Albion. But as with all things magical, such a concession comes with a price, and with an assassin in their midst and a vital political alliance hanging in the balance, Merlin is not the only one who will find his loyalty tested.

Awake

by Cori_Lannam, with art by @phoenix-acid, 50,711 words, Explicit

King Arthur sleeps in Avalon, waiting to return at the hour of Albion's greatest need. But once a year he awakes and spends a single day with Merlin, who will never, ever leave him.

Crossovers & Fusions

In Front of the Whole World

by Trillsabells, 1,492 words, Gen

She was meant to be showering away the sweat, changing into her Team GB sweatsuit and sorting out her hair to look presentable at the presentation. Instead she was sat on the bench, staring at the wall and wondering what she was thinking and what the hell she was going to do now.

All because of one kiss.

Fast Girls crossover

Broken

by Clea2011, 2,697 words, Teen+

“I’m not Leo Elster,” Merlin snarled. “I don’t even know who he is.”

The synth, or whatever they had all become now, just shook his head sadly. “You don’t remember.”

Merlin remembered. Merlin remembered more than he ever wanted to.

Humans crossover

Note to Idiot

by @tinylilemrys, 9,762 words, Teen+

Arthur and Merlin are members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad who work different shifts and share the same office. Arthur, who works the day shift, can't stand the rain. Merlin, who works the night shift, can't concentrate without it.

When they both get tired of changing the weather in the magical window in their underground office, is there a more British way to settle their differences than with a few passive-aggressive memos?

Harry Potter crossover

Two Weeks Notice

by ras_elased, 39,884 words, Explicit

Arthur is a prattish Executive VP of the Pendragon Corporation with a disturbingly non-ironic love of Demotivational posters. Merlin is a tree-hugging barista with a "magic" tongue. Morgana's a peeping Tom and her breasts have superpowers. Gwen and Lancelot get married. Owain is the company bicycle. Arthur attempts to steal Merlin's affections from Will through epic DDR combat. Merlin gets drunk a lot. There is a pillow fight, and a helicopter ride, and rooftop confessions, and Arthur decides Merlin really is his destiny, whether he likes it or not.

Two Weeks Notice fusion

With podfic by jennacorinth

The King of Mars

by @ivaleelovesmerlin, 34,304 words, Teen+

As children, the Pendragon siblings were obsessed with the space program. They dreamt of becoming astronauts and one day walking on another planet. Their dream leads them to NASA where the revelation of magic suddenly brings Mars within our reach. The Camelot 1 crew, including both Pendragons and powerful sorcerer, Merlin Emrys, land on Mars, and the world celebrates -- until a Martian storm cuts the mission short and tragedy strikes. Arthur is killed, and Morgana makes the difficult decision to leave her brother's body behind on Mars. His crewmates and the world mourn his loss, until Gwen Smith, a clever engineer at NASA, makes a shocking discovery: Arthur is alive.

His ingenuity and determination will get him far, but will Arthur be able to survive alone on Mars until help arrives?

The Martian fusion

Arthur Pendragon and the Quest With a Capital Q

by rubberglue, based on art by @akikotree, 8,164 words, Gen

There's a Holy Grail out there and Arthur Pendragon wants to find it, if only to prove to his father that he is a hero. He gathers his reluctant, suffering manservant and best knights (sort of - some of them are unavailable) and sets off on a quest for the Holy Grail. Gwen never wanted to go on any quest but her mistress, Morgana, thinks the young prince is in danger and requires their aid. And so, the two motley groups make their way through the wilds of Camelot in search of their trophy, encountering overly-stubborn knights, knights with bad dress sense and guards with an unusual interest in ornithology (to name a few) before their final encounter with the big bad - a very fluffy big bad.

As it turns out, the quest is less epic than this summary.

Monty Python fusion

With podfic by @akikotree.

Winter & Christmas

Christmas Memories

by @ivaleelovesmerlin, 4,337 words, Teen+

Merlin and Arthur spend a cozy Christmas Eve snuggled before the fire, reminiscing about past Christmases.

What Nonsense!

by @momotastic27, 8,735 words, Gen

In which Uther Pendragon is Ebenezer Scrooge.

It’s That Time of the Year

by @rotrude, 20,819 words, Explicit

Merlin is a personal shopper at a high-end department store. He's tasked with helping Arthur, who's helpless when it comes to gift ideas for his demanding friends and family. Arthur soon finds that going shopping isn't that tremendous an ordeal.

The Good Times Are Killing Me

by minor_hue, Explicit

In which the boys pretend to still be together for Christmas (and there is more than one kind of charade).

With podfic by @misssnowfoxx

Merlin’s Yule Gift

by rotrude, 15,465 words, Explicit

It's the first Yule after Uther's death and in spite of some initial doubts as to the propriety of holding revels, Arthur decides to celebrate the festival all the same. The populace deserves a time for merry-making and so do his friends and loved ones. Now present exchanges are a Camelot Yuletide tradition, a long established convention. And that's where Arthur's plans falter just a little. While he knows what to give his friends and followers, he has no idea how to reward Merlin. Right, Merlin...

High School & University AU

Best You Ever Had

by neuroticnick (now orphaned), 36,305 words, Explicit

Arthur has been with just about every girl in the sixth form. Merlin pines from afar, knowing he doesn't have a chance. Then Merlin gets an invitation, and realises he has a chance after all. Apparently Arthur is bored and wants to try something new. Merlin knows it's meaningless sex, but he might just be okay with that. Even if the butterflies in his stomach say otherwise.

With podfic by @merlins-earmuffs

The Pope, A Singing Nun, and Arthur Walk Into a Library

by @gigi-gigi, 4,210 words, Teen+

Merlin is a librarian, Arthur is in search of a book. Of course this entire transaction results in true love. There might also be a professor asleep in the Ancient Egypt section.

With podfic by striped_bowties

Best Friends & Flatmates

Little Hours

by orphan_account, 3,640 words, Teen+

Arthur is sleep deprived and Merlin just bought so many snacks.

Time Forward

by @kianspo, 23,180 words, Teen+

While still at uni, Arthur Pendragon meets two people who become his best friends. He falls in love with one of them... but marries the other. This isn't his story to tell; it's Merlin's. And Merlin will always remember that he met Arthur first.

With podfic by @sugaredwhimsey

Something Unpredictable

by alby_mangroves, with art by @softershadows, 38,957 words, Explicit

Arthur’s treehouse was the same as Merlin remembered it, all of it was. Maybe a little smaller, but then everything was, now.

And then there was Arthur himself; and it wasn't so much that a lot had changed about him, not really, it was only that everything had lengthened and broadened and become more.

Enemies to Lovers & Friends to Lovers

When You're Busy Making Other Plans

by helloearthlings, 3,339 words, Teen+

Merlin and The Plan were two irreconcilable parts of Arthur's life.

He wasn't ready to let go of either of them.

Rule Number Four

by orphan_account, 47,732 words, Explicit

Pendragon Enterprise is the world's leading computer security company and ruthless when it comes to taking down malicious programmers. It's the perfect place for a skilled hacker like Merlin Ambrosius (codename: Emrys) to work undercover and gain a tactical advantage. But being the personal assistant for vice-CEO Arthur Pendragon is more complicated than Merlin expects. The female Pendragon threatens castration, Arthur apparently sleeps with all his PAs, and it only gets more complicated when the Kilgharrah virus causes a panic. Merlin might just have a solution though, because Anonymous...Anonymous is legion.

In Spite of Everything, the Stars

by @thepolomonkey with art by @mushroomtale-fanart, 82,243 words, Explicit

London. 2015. The government is set to vote on ending the microchipping of magic users, and Arthur Pendragon has been tasked with kidnapping prominent Magical activist Merlin Emrys to influence the outcome.

Locked away in a house on the North York Moors, tensions rise and confrontation ensues as Arthur is forced to re-evaluate everything he’s been taught about magic, and Merlin finds himself in a struggle for his life. And the fact that they’re falling for each other doesn’t help…

With Podfic by @momotastic27

Love, Toast, and Post-It Notes

by themadlurker, 6,704 words, Teen+

It was love at first sight, and Merlin knew it — when it came to the flat, that was. Merlin wasn't anything like as clear about the man he was going to have to live with.

With podfic by @tipsyxkitty

But It’s a Good Refrain

by @theladyragnell, 23,090 words, Teen

Arthur doesn't care much about the popular radio program Dragon's Lonely Hearts until his ex-girlfriend calls in to slag him off and get advice. When he calls in and has an on-air argument with the host, it starts off more than he expected, including meddling friends, overinvolved fans, and maybe love.

With podfic by striped_bowties

At Our Best When It’s From the Hips

by @derryere, 12,781 words, Explicit

Merlin goes to a brothel to get rid of that virginity thing and runs into Arthur. From there on, it's all madness.

Fake Dating & Fake Marriage

A Date for Dinner

by the5leggedcricket, 10,002 words, Mature

This time Uther has gone too far. With the help of Morgana and a ridiculous advertisement, Arthur finds the perfect revenge: a pretend boyfriend.

#weddingweekend

by sweetiejelly, 5,335 words, Mature

Being with Arthur has never been a chore. Being with Arthur is a breeze, a real breeze, especially in the convertible with the top down.

(Or, Arthur pretends to be Merlin's boyfriend for a wedding weekend. Kilgharrah 'Killy' possibly ships Merlin with Arthur or possibly just wants some chicken.)

An Exchange of Favours (aka The One Where Arthur Gets his Dick Stuck in a Door)

by SPowell, 9,030 words, Explicit

When Merlin gets a stranger out of a jam, he asks him to pretend to be his boyfriend for the night in order to make his ex jealous.

Maybe We Were Coming All Along

by @sassafrasx, 22,181 words, Explicit

In retrospect, the "Prince on the Lam in Wales" Christmas headline was not what Arthur had intended.

Of Coffee Shops and Terrifying Sisters

by Ellenoel117, 4,626 words, Gen

In a sleepy haze Arthur stumbles into a random coffee shop, not expecting much, just coffee. Enter Merlin, shy, dorky and impossibly cute. Add in a rushed explanation, Morgana being Morgana and you've got something cooking.

The Practice Boyfriend

by giselleslash, 24,495 words, Mature

Merlin’s been in love with Lance for years, but he hasn’t had much experience dating and he wants to figure out the ins and outs of dating before Lance comes back into his life. Cue Arthur and his manwhoring ways, ready and willing to show Merlin the ropes.

A Prophecy of Dragons

by Skitz_phenom, 65,185 words, Explicit

Named the Last Dragonlord as his birthright, Merlin knows he must be responsible to his fellow druids and honor the tenets of the prophecy. That doesn't mean he's entirely happy about it and of course, trudging through yet another year of ritual with yet another potential consort, Merlin's perhaps grown a bit too blasé about the whole thing. So when Arthur Pendragon shows up in the Valley of the Fallen Kings, and they're both swept up in the auspices of said prophecy, he's not entirely sure how to feel about it all (or about the handsome, arrogant prince).

Domesticity (in est. relationship) & Parent AU

Oh Baby!

by ReneeLaRoux, 7,862 words, Gen

A witch's hex turns Arthur and Merlin into infants. The Knights of the Round Table are tasked with babysitting the miniature King and his Warlock.

The mysterious creature that struck at the heart of Camelot in the wake of the Festival of Ostara

by @prue84, 5,341 words, Gen

As the Festival of Ostara approaches, a mysterious creature threatens Camelot’s crown. Will King Arthur survive the attack or will the creature succeed in deposing the head of the Pendragon’s nest?

Pole Dancing AU

by Bevinkathryn, 47,916 words, Explicit

Arthur's secretary is hell bent on getting him a life. He never expected that life to involve her pole dancing friend, Merlin.

With podfic by @momotastic27

One Day at a Time

by @sara-bocchan

Arthur had returned a couple of weeks ago and Merlin and him are slowly but surely settling into their new routine of adjusting Arthur to the modern world, preparing for the impending threat to Albion, and making the best out of this second chance. This is a story about one of these normal, calm days in their new lives.

Fostered

by @rageprufrock, 6,511 words, Teen+

Obviously, it was not just any sort of egg.

With podfic by dodificus

Keep the Magic Secret

by orphan_account, 73,580 words, Explicit

For the prompt: Someone tells Arthur about the legends of Emrys, an all-powerful warlock whose destiny is to protect Arthur and his kingdom and help bring about an age of peace. He is told that Emrys is someone close to him, and has hidden his identity and trials over the years to protect himself and make sure he can continue on at Arthur's side. When Arthur asks who it is, the person turns to Arthur and shrewdly asks: "Arthur, who do you want it to be?" ... Arthur's mind automatically goes to Merlin.

Cis Swap, Genderbending & Sexuality and Gender Minorities

Dude Looks Like a Lady

by Uniquely_Queer67, 4,941 words, Teen+

In this au, Arthur returned from Avalon a few weeks before he reunites with Merlin in this fic, and had to figure out the world by himself during that time (once he found Google he was pretty much set). But apparently he doesn't know enough when he falls for a gorgeous young woman performing in a club; or so he thinks...

Here and Nowhere Else

by @pendragoff, with art by @eviko, 41,882 words, Explicit

"We've grown into what our fathers had planned for us to be and that makes it even more impossible."

Forced into friendship for publicity at a young age, Merlin finds herself drawn to Arthur despite the fear of dishonoring her own father's memory. Arthur, the daughter of an unkind ruler, has her own issues to work through; seeing as the object of her affections has magic, the one thing her father hates above all else.

Remember, Remember, the Fift of November

by @angelqueen04, 3,351 words, Mature

Secrets destroy, one way or another.

With podfic by Hebecious

Smut

Someone Special

by teprometo, 3,882 words, Explicit

Merlin’s best mate’s older brother is really hot. It’s sort of a problem.

With podfic by sophinisba

Moments Like This

by dreamdustmama, 3,078 words, Explicit

In which Arthur is definitely not drunk, Merlin's secret is no longer a secret (at least from Arthur) and so-not-the-first-time sex happens.

Favourite Epic Length (100k+)

Evil Overlord, Inc.

by @insanewordcount, with art by @mushroomtale-fanart, 137,922 words, Mature

Merlin is a recent graduate with a double doctorate in metaphysics and physics. Arthur is a low-level paper pusher with a desk in the sub-basement of MI5. They live in a world with ridiculous laws and restrictions against anyone who might be supernatural in any way, shape, or design.

Merlin has huge debts looming over this head, a few quid left in his bank account, and no job prospects. Arthur is pushing thirty, in a dead-end job with no chances of promotion to fieldwork agent, and is thoroughly bored with his life.

One ill-advised Craigslist advert, five pushy mates, one nosy all-knowing sister, and a hacked email account later, Merlin and Arthur take the world by storm.

(Or, more precisely, they take over the world.)

Favourite Short Story (under 5k)

Play Me Something

by Caledonia, 2,100 words

Merlin is a classical pianist who habitually gets notes of complaint from his neighbours, and habitually gets evicted by landlords unwilling to keep the peace. Until one note turns out quite differently than the others.

The Tulip Thief

by @thepolomonkey, 3,182 words, Gen

'Sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery, but today you’ve caught me and have demanded to come with me to make sure the “girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft” and I’m trying to figure out how to break it to you that we’re on our way to a graveyard'

Damsel in a Phone Booth

by @blackwidina 3,053 words, Teen+

I was on Tumbler and found this AU prompt:

“it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au

And this was born. Enjoy!

Stranger Things Than Strangers

@fractionallyfoxtrot, 995 words, Gen

Arthur calls Leon to complain about a horrible meeting with his father. At least, he thought he called Leon.

One Day

by @thepolomonkey, 2,018 words, Teen+

Arthur meets Merlin outside a support group.

how not to propose

by @merlinwyllt, 100 words, Gen

“What would you do if I put a crown on your head?”

Favourite Fic

Ace of Hearts

by beccadearie, 32,285 words, Mature

One night when out with friends, Merlin meets Arthur and quickly realizes that they have something in common: they are both asexual and trying to make their way through life and love in a sexual world without going crazy. What starts as hanging out between friends evolves into something more, and Merlin and Arthur decide to plunge headfirst into this tenuous relationship of give and take between the two of them.

Missed Connections (Glory, Glory Holelelujah)

by tourdefierce, 51,218 words, Explicit

Glory-Hole Romantic Comedy. 'NUFF SAID PEOPLE.

You bring the music to my silent world

by Balthamos, 49,818 words, Mature

Arthur and Merlin are thrown together as children when Merlin’s mother moves into the Pendragon Manor as the new housekeeper, bringing her deaf son Merlin with her. Arthur is a loud and obnoxious child, whereas Merlin is quiet but not as shy as everyone thinks. The two children become fast friends, but as they grow up together things begin to change, due to the pressure of wanting to be normal, and the growing lack of communication between the pair. Growing up is never easy and the graceful friendship they had as children gets lost as they reach their teenage years, but through their difficulties they develop a deeper, stronger relationship, one far more permanent.

Sitter!verse

by orphan_account, 32,476 words, Teen+

In which Mordred is Morgana’s 7 year-old son, Merlin is her (terribly cute) housekeeper/babysitter, and Arthur is over all the time because he’s hopelessly in love with him.

Jerusalem

by Magnolia822, 28,859 words, Explicit

Prince Arthur has spent his eighteenth year in a drunken haze of public debauchery, and after the latest round of incriminating photographs, King Uther is fed up. Though magic is outlawed and Magic Users are generally distrusted, Uther secretly hires a young sorcerer to keep Arthur in line, much to Arthur's chagrin. But what starts out as an antagonistic relationship becomes much more as Arthur, increasingly drawn to his secretive young warden, begins to suspect there is something rotten in the state of Great Britain.

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again

by katherynfromphilly, 209,983 words, Mature

For many long years Merlin waited.

For the other part of his soul, for the other half of his life. He was born to serve Arthur. So that meant he was also born to wait. Even if it took a thousand years. Even if the wait seemed never to end.

Until one day, suddenly, it did.

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Set after the Merlin Series 5 Finale "Diamond of the Day". Canon Compliant. In Character. Arthur Pendragon Returns

When Arthur stumbles from the Lake of Avalon 1,500 years after his death, he finds a world unlike the one he knew. Faced with the loss of everyone he loved, and the threat of impending prophecy, Arthur must quickly learn what it means to be not just a king, but the Once and Future King. Merlin does all he can to guide him in this journey, even as he struggles to hide his love for his king, and to conquer his fear of losing him again.

Story includes sass, banter, horseplay, and True Love.

Creators of COiNELOT

Distant Echoes

by @sara-bocchan, with art by @lao-pendragon, 33,678 words, Teen+

Arthur grows up in a small town and into an overall great and normal life. Except, he keeps having these strange, recurring dreams. Once a year he dreams of a man, watches whatever he is up to at the moment, and sees places he could have never imagined. Arthur was sure he had never met him, so why did he seem so familiar?

Getting older, Arthur becomes determined to find out more about his dreams and the mysterious man. He starts to travel to places he had seen in his dreams and does all the research he can possibly do – but to no avail. Over the years he almost gives up, when suddenly he starts to remember a lifetime many centuries ago – the man from his dreams always at his side...

You Swiped Right

by @momotastic27, 22,038 words, Explicit

Pendragon Books is to London's bookselling industry what Sauron is to Middle-Earth: Bad fucking news.

Merlin could also compare them to Voldemort and the magical world in Britain, or maybe the White Witch and Narnia, but no matter what analogy he picks, the point remains the same: Wherever Pendragon Books pops up with a new shop, existing businesses die a painful death, robbing their city of more and more personality and character. Therefore it comes as a bit of a shock when they're settling in right across the street from Merlin's bookshop, and Merlin finds out that Arthur Pendragon himself is gorgeous and unreasonably easy to talk to, and - worst of all - a bit of a nerd.

However, not only is Merlin most definitely not fraternising with the enemy, he's also already sort of dating someone. So what if it started on Grindr, and is only through text messages?

Bad Behaviour (gets you the Pendragon Treatment)

by @tayathestrange, 24,258 words, Explicit, WIP

After his attack on the Pendragon Inc. servers backfired Merlin finds himself in some unpleasent situation. Maybe he shouldn't have taken the job after all...

My Once and Future Love

by @tracionn, manip, Mature

Naked cuddling :)

Choices and Tourneys

by @elveatas, 13,879 words, Explicit

Every year, right before mating season, Camelot holds a great tournament in which the alphas will compete with each other in order to show their strength to the omegas who’ll be looking to choose the perfect mate. After all, it’s not the alpha who chooses the omega, but the omega who chooses the alpha, and Arthur really, really wants Merlin to choose him.

Perfectly Imperfect

by @little-dhampir-1508, 4,867 words, Teen+

Arthur takes care of Merlin after some bullies got to him.

Times Change

by @elirwen, 7,427 words, Explicit

After witnessing Uther's breakdown and finding out some of the horrible things he did during the Purge, Arthur's general stance on magic shifts radically much to Morgana and Merlin's surprise.

What’s a Soulmate?

by @misssnowfoxx, 2:26 min, fanvid

I've been wanting to vid this quote for way too long! And I'm sure you'll all agree no couple in the history of the world has every deserved this quote more than these two stupid assholes in love. I had a very emotional time making this video and I hope I got across what I wanted to.

Creswell Crags

by @gwylliondream, 5,747 words, Teen+

When Arthur takes ill, he finds himself in a strange environment that echoes his past and gives him hope for the future.

What were you the god of again?

by @brolinskeep, manips, on tumblr

a reluctant heir to the throne who's rather out on quests to keep his people and others save than sitting at home in his palace, an army of the dead, a very special sword, golden eyes of magic and a dragon, a prophecy that needs to be defied and 'oh yeah by the way, you have an older sister i never told you about who's pretty powerful and wants your throne. you got this son. dad out.'

sound familiar?

Diplomatic Immunity

by @archaeologistd, 86,952 words, Explicit

Merlin has come to Camelot to act as an envoy between the magic users and the new High King, Arthur Pendragon. Four years ago, Nimueh had twisted the truth, making Arthur think Merlin was in league with her. That Arthur is unhappy to see him again is an understatement.

My Magical Manservant

by @lao-pendragon, art, Gen

The »My magical Manservant Series« is a collection of many little stories about Arthur Pendragon who is deeply in love with his very magical manservant Merlin. While several secrets, whether magic or love, are no secrets anymore, they have to deal with disobedient dragons, cheeky knights, a whole kingdom and their own feelings for each other. Keep their magic secret!

#bbc merlin #merthur #merthur fanfic #merthur fanfiction #merlin fanfiction #coinelot reincarnated #c2: activities

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thelifeofhayleymarie · 5 years

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18/01/2019: Closing a chapter of my life

This is a post I’ve been dreading to write. Just a warning too, its going to be very, very long. This will also unfortunately be my last post on this account.

5 weeks and 1 day. That’s how long its been since everything changed, since L ended things with me, and I’ve been trying my hardest to make sense of it all. I’ve been trying my best to find the words to be able to write this post, but I’ve really struggled. All I’m going to start off with is that my heart is absolutely, completely and utterly broken.

This is not how I imagined things would be. This is not how I wanted to end the distance. I imagined us together in our own house, with a couple of dogs, happy and inlove... not like this. Never in a million years did I think we’d end up like this, not with how inlove I was with him. It still doesn’t feel real. When you give someone all of you, love them harder than anything else you’ve ever loved in your life, you never expect them to tell you that they don’t want it anymore. That it’s not enough for them. It’s so hard to accept; its just unfathomable really. I wanted to marry him. I was willing to move across the country for this boy. I was so ready, and so excited. It’s just disappointing. I feel like I sacrificed so much for him. Put his needs before my own. Accepted the heartbreaking challenge of doing long distance without getting a choice in the matter. Supported him in going out and achieving his dreams while I waited here for him. And for what? Him to turn around and say he’s changed his mind and that he doesn’t feel the same anymore? That he doesn’t have the passion for the relationship and that he loves me but he’s not inlove with me now? This whole thing has left me devastatingly broken. And it hurts, my god does it hurt...

It’s been extremely hard and confusing for me to understand too. December 8th he told me that I’m the love of his life and that he can’t wait to come home to me, then on December 13th, only 5 days later… he told me he couldn’t do this anymore. It was absolutely soul shattering to hear those words. Especially because we hadn’t been fighting or anything. I thought we had been perfectly fine, he made me believe that we were doing better. He even texted me that morning saying that he loves me. Then later that night he completely pulled the rug out from under me.

He messaged me that Thursday night saying he wasn’t doing very well mentally and that he needs to talk to me. Me being me I dropped everything and called him immediately, desperately wanting to help him and understand why he was feeling this way. He wouldn’t completely tell me the truth behind it until I kept asking questions. When I asked him if he could think of one thing that makes him happier than anything else in the world, and he answered saying he’s happiest when being on holiday at the lake… my stomach dropped and I immediately knew what was going on; because he didn’t say he was happiest when he was with me. This lead into me asking a whole bunch of other questions where I discovered that he had been apparently feeling miserable for months because he doesn’t think he wants to be with me anymore, because he feels like he’s changed, we’ve changed. This phone call was 3 hours long, yet I couldn’t grasp what was going on. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. I was a mess after that phone call. I knew deep in my heart there was no coming back from that. I knew what he wanted, and it completely broke me. My best friend and my brother had to come and physically restrain me because of how inconsolable I was. I felt like my whole world was ending, especially because of how blindsided I felt. Eventually my mum had to literally medicate me to make me calm down. My heart couldn’t take it. I think I slept for 2 whole days after that.

Even though I knew it was over, a couple days later I had a very weak moment and called him and basically begged for him to just keep trying, at least until he comes home and we see each other (which was only a week away… I’d been looking forward to it for ages. I hadn’t seen him in 2 months... he was coming home for christmas on the 20th of december). But my god, it felt so degrading. No one should ever have to beg someone to not give up on them, or to try harder or love them back. I never wanted to stoop that low but I was in shock and I was desperate. And to my utter dismay- he said no. He didn’t want to try anymore. He said he’s been trying for months and it still just doesn’t feel right. This outraged me because 1, he hadn’t been completely honest and open with me about how he was feeling this way and 2, giving someone the bare minimum is NOT ‘trying’. He stopped meeting my needs a long time ago and I was too blinded by love to understand this. I deserved so much better than that. I deserve someone whose sure about me 100% of the time. I deserve someone whose consistent with their love and effort, which he very much lacked on and off throughout our whole relationship. His words rarely matched up to his actions. One day he’d say he loves me more than life itself and that he wants to marry me, the next he would hardly even speak to me. Complete head fuck right? But I stuck around because I loved him. Maybe that’s my own fault.

He was messaging me every day after that phone call- I don’t really know why, I think the guilt from hurting me was eating him up inside to be honest- but I just couldn’t reply to his messages. I needed space. I needed time to let it all sink in and to be able to reflect on it all. I eventually messaged him and asked him to give me the respect of ending things in person, where I can ask questions, get closure and say goodbye. He agreed and wanted that too. It’s so painful having to say goodbye to someone you wanted forever with. But I did it. I went over to his house a couple days after he arrived home and I got say my peace and get the closure I needed. And although I am hesitant to say, I also did end up seeing him a couple more times before he flew back home - alcohol and a broken heart dont mix well folks, trust me - but I surprisingly found that it didnt make things worse for me, because I had already accepted that this break up is probably for the best... dont get me wrong it was sad, and confusing but it was also nice to just be together, talk and take our time to say goodbye; our last goodbye, and the hardest one of all. It was especially hard seeing him cry along with me at the thought of it being the last time. But as I had time to reflect on it all leading up to seeing him each time, I came to the conclusion that this was for the best, and I told him that too. I knew I wasn’t being treated right, I knew I deserved better, I knew the distance had gotten to us too much, and I knew we both weren’t happy. But it was nice to end things on a good note and say goodbye in our own way.

During the past month I have rediscovered my worth and realized that I have so, so, SO much love to give, and if he doesn’t want it, then thats truely his loss. I put him on a pedestal for the longest time and forgot about myself through it all. I haven’t been fair to myself. So now, I think its time I put myself first- in every aspect of my life, not just through the break up. I’m going to try my best to leave all heartache in 2018, and begin to focus on my self worth, growth and all things positive in 2019.

As much as this hurts and as much as it killed me to do long distance this past year, I really have no regrets. I gave 110% of myself to this relationship and to L. I put my heart and soul on the line for someone I love and I think that’s something to be proud of- it’s actually admirable I think. Like a friend recently told me, I let someone know how it felt to be loved by me, and that’s beautiful. I love so damn hard too, and I deserve to get the same love back. Consistently. I also just want to make note that as much as this has hurt me, I don’t and will never wish ill upon him at all. I really just want him to be happy, and if that means not being with me anymore then so be it. I don’t think of him as a bad person- just someone whose young, and isn’t sure about what he wants. I’ve also realized that I can’t hate him for feeling a certain way. I don’t want to. That wouldn’t be fair. At the end of the day, as much as I tried to hold on, I think I always knew it wasn’t meant to be. There’s been too much hurt in the past, and the relationship was damaged from early on from certain things I think. The distance was also really, really difficult for both of us too; even though I felt like I could deal with it because I believed it would be worth it in the end, I guess he just couldn’t handle it, and that’s fair enough. Being away from the person you love constantly changes you. Its heart breaking. I’ll always love the person he is, and forever cherish every amazing memory we ever shared. Our love was epic. The past 2/3 years have been some of the happiest moments of my life- despite it being a rollercoaster at times. And I owe a lot to Luke and will always respect him. I just know now that maybe we’re not meant to be, and that’s ok. As hard as it is to accept that it’s over, and that i’ll never see him again (that part tears me up inside ugh), I’ll always remember him as my first love, and I’ll always appreciate the beautiful times we had together. I still love him, I think I always will, but I’m a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and I know I’ll be stronger from this.

I just want to also say a big thank you to everyone who has gone on this journey with me, for all the love and support and advice shared. It’s helped more than you know. I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without you guys. I’m going to miss being apart of this beautiful little community of long distance and military couples. Even though it didn’t work out for me, I still believe long distance can work and that those who are willing to make it work, no matter the struggles, are some of the strongest and most noblest people around. But just remember, if you’re giving more than you’re getting, if you’re beginning to question your worth, if you’re crying more than you are happy, if you’re the only one holding on and trying to make it work, then you need to be honest and fair to yourself and understand that you deserve so, so much better- and you will find that one day, I promise. A part of me wishes I had’ve realised sooner.

I’m closing a chapter of my life, only to begin a new one. I hope 2019 blesses all of you. Best of luck with everything, I really am rooting for you all!

(I’m also not going to delete this blog. It holds way too many incredible memories and posts of happier times that I would like to look back on in years to come. And although it makes me sad now, I just think its so special and it may also be able to help others to read. But, like I said earlier, this will unfortunately be my last post...

If you’d like to contact me in anyway from now on I will be using my main blog more regularly. You can find me at:

http://tr-anspar-ent.tumblr.com/)

Stay strong, keep fighting through the distance and for the ones you love. Always remember you’re not alone.

Love always,

Hayley x

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dazzlingfantasiesblogs · 5 years

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Hurricane Side Story : Christmas Decorations

Happy x Reader

Notes: Warning/Triggers: 18+ only. IF UNDER 18 KINDLY DO NOT FOLLOW ME AND DO NOT READ. Thank you. Smut. 18+.

More notes: Hey loves, I have been writing this off and as I have been listening to christmas music and when I set up my Christmas tree earlier in the week. This is a side story to Hurricane. Attached is the Hurricane Masterlist Note that I need to update that masterlist!

I am still working on a Chibs oneshot as well! :)

Tags: @samanthab983 @trippinjenni @camobighairnboots @mywhitehatisbigger @moodygrip

Also, please do not take credit for my work, or post on other websites. That is stealing. I do not own Sons Of Anarchy, however this is a spin-off and my original work. Do not take what is not yours.

Gifs are not mine.

The smirk across his face couldn’t be any wider. He watched as you twirled around the living room. The Christmas music blasting in the background. He laughed a bit as you hung the decorations around the house. Tinsel around the photo frames and lights strung around the living room. “When are the boys dropping off the tree?” you smiled walking up to him. “Mm.. soon Mami.” Happy grabbed your hips, pressing a kiss to your lips. He couldn’t believe how cheerful he felt for Christmas with you. Before the holiday being a nuisance since he would have to spend money on presents. You made this house a warm home.

Hearing a knock at the door, Happy looked outside and seen his brothers having a hard time carrying the Christmas tree you picked out a day before. Kozik walked in “Come on prospects. Fuck my sisters tree up and I will send you to an early grave.” Kozik smiled to you and kissed your cheek. Mariah Carey “All I want for Christmas” came on and you squealed. You gave Kozik the look. “Alright, Ill dance and sing this with you. Just once.” He smirked waiting for it to play and you started to sing. “I don’t want a lot for Christmas, all I want for Christmas is you!!” Kozik twirled you are the living room, holding on to your hand. The prospects snickered, Happy looked at them, causing them to shiver in fear. After the song you where breathless and laughing so hard you fell on the couch with your brother. You pointed to the prospects, telling them to set the tree in front of the large window. Kozy watched as the boys struggled. The dog walking over to sniff the tree. “No peeing on the tree Kozy.” The dog wagged his tail. Walking over to his dish, drinking water. “Thanks boys! Beer in the fridge.” The prospects smiled to you. Walking in the kitchen they each got a beer and sat down. Jax walked in a bit after the prospects finished fighting with the tree and grabbing a beer. “Hey Prince.” You waved to Jax. “Hey Y/N. Brothers.” You stood back up and started to grab the lights to hang on tree. “Babe, I gotta.. gotta go. I will be back later tonight, tomorrow morning.” Your smile faded and nodded. Kissing Happys cheek you went to your brother“You watch each other.” They nodded waving. It was odd how quickly they where leaving. Especially since you where certain you and Happy where going to spend the night decorating and then sleeping next to the tree and making love. With the club you long let go of the hope to have a normal life. Nothing about your life was normal after all.

It was three in the morning and you finished baking cookies, decorating them and set them out for Happy to eat when he got home. You finished some work next to the Christmas tree as Frank Sinatra played in the back round. Being a little sad since Happy left on your big decorating day, you fell asleep on the couch next to your little man. Kozy snuggled close as you fell asleep under the flannel cozy blanket. Happy opened the door quietly, hoping not to wake you. He seen you asleep next to the Christmas tree on the couch. He smiled seeing the whole house looking like a bunch of elves threw up festive cheer. Tip towing to the room, he hid the bag full of presents that he had bought for you on his way home from church at the club. He slid them on his side of the closet, behind clothes he rarely ever wore. He snuck back outside to the backyard where his brothers waited. They quietly worked on a surprise for you that Happy had planned.

Feeling your shoulder being moved you seen Happy standing there. “Hey babe… mmm you ok?” you rubbed your eyes, slowly sitting up. You grabbed your phone seeing the time. It was 5am and still pitch dark outside. “Cover your eyes love.” You did as told and felt a blanket drape your shoulders. He guided you to slide on your slippers and walk to the back porch. “Open your eyes.” You did and your jaw dropped. “Holy Santa’s beard!” The back yard was lit bright enough by Christmas lights, you where sure that you could see it from a satellite pic. There was colorfull lights strung around the trees, the patio lit up with small bushes that had lights strung on them. A huge ‘Winter Wonderland’ arch into the back yard. Happy held you hand and walked into the back yard even more. Looking on you seen a huge hottub. “So.. I may have went overboard and bought us a hot tub..” you chuckled seeing the tag was still on it. “You stole it didn’t you?” He shrugged his shoulders. “No, the guy owed us a favor. Said I could pick one out. So I took the biggest one. IT even has rainbow lights in the water.” Happy smirked, thinking dirty thoughts about you two in the hottub together. “Happy! This is amazing!” you jumped into your old mans arms, kissing him deeply. He smiled into the kiss and was glad you where so Happy. “You deserve every bit of it my queen. You had a rough year. With your dad bull shit, Lorenzo being an ass, me being an ass.. the club taking advantage of you… Ima.. I am sorry you had to deal with so much beautiful. Know I love you more than the kutte on my back. You are my heaven on earth babygirl.” Happy held your chin in his hands. “Aww so corny!” you looked over to see Tig, Jax, Juice and Kozik walking in from the side gate. “Shut up assholes and get out of here so I can make love to my girl in the hottub.” Happy growled out to them. Kozik walked up to you, ignoring Happy. He kissed your forehead. “Thanks sis, for everything you do for Happy, Kozy and the club.” “I will always be here for you all.” You smiled wrapping your arms tightly around your brothers body. He hugged you tightly, rocking you back and forth. “Alright all, lets get out of here so Happy can fuck his girl.” Tig spoke bluntly. “Tig, really..” Kozik groaned, not wanting to think of it happening. They all waved to the two of you and headed out. “Alright, you up for relaxing in this winter wonderland?” Happy wiggled his eyebrows. You chuckled at the childish movement. “Always my love.” “Let me go get towels. Strip naked babe. No one can see us over the fence. I will bring Kozys outdoor cott out here and his blanket.” Smiling you thought about how being domestic was a good look on Happy.

Happy walked out with two large towels. He set them on the small table that was set on the side of the hottub. He went back and grabbed Kozys bed and laid it on the patio. The dog snuggling on it and laying his head down. coming back outside for the last time, Happy brought out two cups of coffee. He seen you had gotten into the hot tub, licking his lips instantly. “Love seeing my girl naked and wet.” You chuckled at his pun. Happy stripped his clothes off, twirling his shirt above his head dramatically. “That’s it baby, dance for me!” you whistled. Happy laughed a bit and got into the hot tub. He relaxed feeling the warm water and jets relaxing his exhausted muscles. After all, ordering prospects around was a job within itself. “Thank you Happy, for all of this.” You smiled shyly. “Of course. I could tell you where sad when I left at the time you where decorating. I wanted to do this for you.” You nodded, scooting over to sit in his lap. Pressing a heated kiss to the lips you had kissed so many times before. Each time feeling like the first to you. Happy took his wet and warm hand and grabbed you face, forcing his tongue past your lips. The feeling of his warm tongue dancing with yours felt heavenly. “Need you..” He bit your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it, to leave it puffy. You slowly lifted your self on your knees as Happy positioned himself right under you. His slid his hand down over your hips and to your ass, slowly pushing you down on him. Both of you enjoying the initial first thrust. Happy went back to attacking your lips. How the passion between over the years never faulted you will never know. As you moved your hips and slid up and down on him, you noticed Happys head fall back in pleasure. He rarely showed that side of him, letting the pleasure fully take hold of him. “Fuck.. baby..” you moaned out, you knew this was not going to last long. When love making held this much passion, you both knew it was going to be short and pleasureful. As you bounced on him more, he grabbed your hips tightly “Fuck Y/N… I cant last… You feel to fucking good..” he leveled his eyes with you. He started to thrust up into you, the water splashing all over the place as he moved his hips with yours. He press a bite to your throat and you where done for. The pain and extreme pleasure caused you to black out momentarily.

After the two of you caught your breath, you went to get off of his lap. Happy held you in place. “No love, lets watch the sunrise together in OUR winterwonderland.” You looked at the sky and seen the pinks, yellows and oranges as the sky started to wake for the day. This was a life worth living

#happy lowman #happy x reader #soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #kozik #herman kozik #jax #jax teller #tig #tig trager

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basshouse · 5 years

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Of Politics and Road Trips

Welp, it seems like the time has come to address one of the gnarliest and most frequently asked questions of all time. To be clear, that's gnarly for me and to me, respectively. I’d also like to memorialize a recent road trip. Before I start, though, let’s get grounded in the current context: it’s late summer IN MARCH; We are headed intro autumn, and there has been enough early snow that Mount Hutt was open for skiing (what?!?!). I started my new job at Jade Software; the kids started a new school year in January, with Anily headed off to her first year of high school (5 years of high school here); both kids have changed to a new soccer club, which is much closer to the house (thank god); Anily made the A team; James is playing soccer and basketball and ridiculous amounts of Fortnite. It’ll soon be a year that we’ve been here. We are right in the middle of a full 12 weeks of visitors and trips from/to the US. And in case you were wondering, the cat has managed to escape through open windows and doors a few times, but he’s always come back so I guess he’s ours for real :-)

I still haven't submitted my dreadfully complicated tax return. I am seriously procrastinating, and having visitors and reasons to road trip is helping/hurting.

So! BFGFAQ (big fat gnarly...you get it): It’s the political one. From the Kiwis this usually comes in the form of “are you a Trump refugee?” or “what do you make of what’s going on over there?” And even if it’s not an explicit question, how can I possibly answer the most frequent Q of all time -- “why did you move to New Zealand?” without considering how the political landscape of the US factored in? I mean, you don't just up and move across the globe and leave a great place and a fabulous life without at least a mental checklist of pros and cons. At least, most of us wouldn't. And if you’re a grown-up (which we sadly have established that I am) and a contributing, aware, member of society (which I would argue that I am), your list must include considerations of the way your taxes are spent and people are treated in the place you live and how the outcomes of those things impact your lifestyle, your life, and the lives of other human beings. Right? Right!

MAJOR UPDATE: A handful of days after I posted this, someone (likely an asshole white supremacist) shot and killed people in a CHCH mosque. The city is still in lock down as I write this. It is terrible and sad that things like this happen anywhere, ever. And I just want to say that as you read the ideas below, I’ll be watching closely the response of the NZ government.

If there’s one thing that moving around the world to a place you’ve never been before, with a small family and no friends, and taking up a real life with a paycheck and a rent and a job does really well, it’s create an opportunity to reflect on the differences between where you were and where you are. It also is extremely useful for considering, in a very real way, how the values you hold are (or are not) reflected in both a political system and a local way of living. You really notice how political decisions, socioeconomic forces and cultural norms trickle into investments, infrastructure, bureaucracy, language, aesthetics, and interactions that impact you as you move through your day-to-day and learn how to get things done. And because you’re an observer who is trying to become an insider, you may operate with less bias and pre- disposition to judge, more of a natural curiosity and interest in gathering information and then assimilating it and deciding over time. Chalk one up for perspective! Happy to say this was the kind of experience and growth I hoped we’d all get through this adventure.

Now, from the Americans this question usually comes in the form of something like “OMG, are you so glad you’re not here for this?” or “are public healthcare and lack of gun violence really as amazing as they seem from here?”. Because, like me, most people I talk with on a regular basis feel something like this:

t least you do now, thanks to Willie Wonka’s and friend above, and this:

So while I am not here in NZ without political bias or personal ideas of what’s right, wrong and important, I am more open minded to considering what’s good for this country and this context, and I have a stronger appreciation for the complexities of things all across the board since I’ve now gathered more data and had more experience.

So, my American friends, in the interest of helping you draw some of your own conclusions, here is a segment I like to call Fact, Figures and Feelings:

America is amazing. You have SO much of everything. Including great food, tons of money, vast political power, and a really noticeable amount of homeless people. I mean! When I was in San Jose I felt so conflicted by both where to go for every meal and the fact that to get where I wanted to go I was uncomfortable with my own feelings and anxiety about possible conflict with the homeless and mentally ill folks I passed constantly. And it was often while I was walking into a convention center full of people trying to give away millions of dollars, listening to speakers who had made millions through technology. And while the dog adoption station on site and the furry friends in it made me feel a little better in the moment, could there be anything more cliche? Embarrassing. And yet is it fundamentally bad to have cute dogs making rich people feel good and maybe getting adopted? No. But it maybe uniquely American.

Know what else you have a lot of, USA? DRAMA. Seriously. The NZ morning news is usually about 25-50% reporting on the shitshow that is US and Brexit, and it turns out that when people say “if you get homesick, just listen to the news” they are correct.

So what about NZ? Well, when you live in a country with SO MANY FEWER (like so many!) people and a much smaller GDP, your reality is very different. Not so loud. Not so busy. Not so many options. Much much simpler and frankly, it feels more sane. But we know the Mexican food sucks. So... six of one/half dozen of the other? This is what I am saying: I cannot tell you if Enchiladas and Aveda products make up for dealing with the opioid crisis if you’re seeing it every day, or if leaving Tito’s vodka and a much higher salary on the table is balanced out by the fact that police here in CHCH carried guns last week and this is how people think about it:

FUN FACT: During the “summer holidays” (December-Jan), the morning news show on public radio literally went off air. They replaced it with special summer programming, mostly dedicated to personal profiles and reviews of music and activities. The only headlines they read each day were almost entirely about the US (shut downs) and UK (Brexit). Apparently it’s possible for time off to extend to politics and news. WOW. Just notice how you feel about that.

Now, NZ is certainly not the rainbows and unicorns utopia we liberals like to think a place with a public healthcare system and affordable education and far fewer guns will be -- there’s a growing imbalance in the distribution of wealth, the abortion laws are archaic, affordable housing is a big issue, nurses and teachers strike because they don’t get paid enough.

Politics was not the only motivator for our move, but we considered it -- sure seemed like a nice time to be out of the US, and it is. It’s certainly not a clear #NZFTW-100% -they -nailed-it situation, though. Every place and every system has its bad sides, and I have a lot to learn to really decide how the pros and cons balance out. All I know is that it’s really, really nice to be in a place where the political conversation is much simpler and more focused on politics and their outcomes on people than on hateful rhetoric. I am disappointed when I think of the lost opportunity due to the amount of resources you are wasting on unproductive, unkind conversations in the USA, when you have so much. I feel bad for not being there to help stand up for the rights of people I believe in, but when you don't wake up angry every day at the headlines and the people you share space with, when the dialog is a little more open and productive, when the headlines are not so likely to be violent and sad, you start with a much better mental health baseline. You just can’t eat a great caesar salad whenever you feel like it, and it’s expensive as hell to leave the island and you don’t get paid enough to be able to do it often, which may really stress you out. For now, I’m really ok with it. But over time will the flaws in the NZ system (every system has them) outweigh the positive? Do the opportunities in the US outweigh the negative?

In the interest of letting you form some your own opinions: Take a look at the the top headlines of 2018 in New Zealand. They include a pregnant PM; visits from Ed Sheeran, the Royals, and Obama; a handful of natural disasters; a bunch of news about other countries and sports; and the BIG BIG Drama which “unfolded over several deeply uncomfortable days” and ended in a minister being briefly admitted to a mental health facility and broad discussions about mental health. Consider if the US was as concerned about its politicians’ mental health when they did crazy shit :-).

Oh also, this is my CEO at work on Friday (hee hee):

So far this year Lime Scooters (people get hurt on them, and people break the rules and double ride with no helmets -- gasp!) and the potential of a capital gains tax have been in the news pretty much daily. And that’s about it. Boring? Yes! Nice? Also yes! Did you know NZ is the only country in the OECD to not have a CGT? Are you impressed with my knowledge of initialisms? Worldly is the word you’re looking for to describe me.

I know, it looks like I am pooping on a trail, but I am actually doing squats mid-hike IN A SKIRT. Probably gives me enough credibility to become a world leader, or at least present these numbers for your consideration:

Now that you have something to think about -- because you weren't already thinking about politics enough (sorry!) -- let’s turn to a less political, but more important spiritual and philosophical topic: The Art of the Road Trip.

Pro tip: It’s easier to be a Road Trip Rembrandt with the right tools -- like these:

Mountains + Vans = Roadtrip Masterpiece

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that one of the things we’ve been doing a lot of is road tripping. Not so different from Seattle, eh? True. But since we can surf so close to the house and we have such a beautiful country to explore and a slightly less active social life, the road trips are more frequent and more varied. As we are all happiest when we’re in the flow and hitting the right balance between challenge and success, I guess it makes sense. Because if I do say so myself, we are damn good at the road trip, but there’s no way to have 2 to 6 people in a small space with a lot of stuff and a windy road ahead and podcasts and music to choose without challenge.

#vanlifeisthebestlife.

Here’s a map of where we’ve been on our travels thorough the country so far:

So what’s the art of the road trip? Composition:

And the science? One part great music, one part planning, and at least two parts having a sense of humor and joy about all the chaos.

Like when there’s no where for you to sit:

My most recent road trips were extra awesome due to the fact that Leslie Lapham (AKA Alex, AKA LL) was here and we took off on a few fun adventures. Now, Leslie is great for a lot of reasons and it was super fun to have her here for 5 weeks...and one of her best qualities, she takes great pictures!

Here’s what I like to say about our first trip: it started with a bang and ended with a bee sting.

Here’s the bang -- this is what happens when some dickhead decides to pass you on the right at high speed on a highway while you are TURNING RIGHT into a campground:

So, that sucked. Especially because aforementioned dickhead did not stop to see if we were ok, just left us there in the dark on our own. Luckily the Taupe Donkey was still drivable and packing enough duct tape to make it work. So, off we headed from Kaikoura to make ourselves feel better in the vineyards and wineries of Marlborough.

The Cloudy Bay Winery was not a bad place to spend an afternoon!

Watson’s Way (not pictured) was a really weird place to spend a night though -- we were basically parked in a gravel parking lot in someone’s yard. But man, did we have some good food!

Although oops, I accidentally tried to take a grapevine as a souvenir. And I swear this was before I even did a tasting!

After wine tasting and an amazing dinner at Arbor, we headed to the Marlborough Sounds, starting at Havelock, the mussel capital of the world!

We did a cool tour on the mailboat, which literally delivers mail, packages, animals, groceries, and god knows what else (possibly the odd tourist by accident?) to the residents of the remote 300 or so bays in the region, which can only be reached by boat.

We ate a lot, of course. ��But we ordered more than we could eat.

After that we headed south on the inland route and camped overnight at the Tasman Lakes National Park.

There were eels, pretty views, and random dock yoga.

And last but definitely not least, we topped off the trip by meeting Jason at the always fabulous Hanmer Springs Thermal Pools. What a drive to get there, too! I did get stung by a bee while I was soaking, which was a total and pretty painful shock, despite the signs warning people to watch out for bees. Little fuckers!

After that, back to co-working and a couple weekends in CHCH:

Then...Lois!!!

Now this blog is not about all the visitors and it’s already so long I dare not start going on about having Leslie and Lois here together. Suffice it to say we had some fun times, some great food, and after 8 hours in the emergency room we did a quick road trip to Oamaru. There were PENGUINS!!!!

There were penguins!!! We saw them waddle onto the beach at dusk after swimming 50K through the ocean all day. Alas, you cannot take pictures of them, so you’ll have to settle for 3 Generations of Wachsmuth Women in the Wild until next time. XO.

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thisweekingundamwing · 6 years

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This Week in Gundam Wing 21-27 October 2018

Here’s this week’s roundup!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@anaranesindanarie

11:11 https://archiveofourown.org/works/16430819/chapters/38471807

Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell, Long Meilan/Hilde Schbeiker, Catherine Bloom/Abdul Kurama, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Long Meilan, Chang Wufei, Hilde Schbeiker

What happened before Tequila, Breakups

The events before the start of Tequila. Not necessarily in order.

@gundamwing-ellesmith

WIP Wednesday http://gundamwing-ellesmith.tumblr.com/post/179394868609/wip-wednesday

This time I’m sharing a snippet from my next big fic (still a work in progress, so give me a few more months to complete it…). It’s a 3x1, with a dash of 11x1, and a whole bunch of bad stuff that’s happening to poor Heero… (duh!)

Story takes place in AC 206.

@lifeaftermeteor

Saturday Snippet https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/179499575750/duo-and-heeros-apartment-brussels-belgium-12

Duo and Heero’s Apartment

Brussels, Belgium

12 September 210

Shenlong1

Bound, Bonded and Betrayed (Ch. 75) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9726683/75/Bound-Bonded-and-Betrayed

Rated: M

Character: Heero Y., Duo M.

Summary: Heero is the eldest son of the King of Colonia. His 21st birthday is approaching and as tradition dictates his betrothed is soon to arrive. However he is also bound by tradition to select his own personal slave. The events that unfold lead him down a path that not only tests his sanity but his humanity and love as well.

@terrablaze514

Freedom Fighters Snippet https://terrablaze514.tumblr.com/post/179407984742/freedom-fighters-wip-wednesday

So, this is a WIP Wednesday post (from Freedom Fighters). It's AU, and this scene is dark. I think I've caught the characters thoughts and feelings well.

2+1, implied OT5.

Let Down Your Hair Snippet https://terrablaze514.tumblr.com/post/179407577902/let-down-your-hair-wip-wednesday

This type of fic was inspired by a beautiful fanart I saw back in May, and I think two fellow GW writers wanted to see how the story turns out. This is only half of it. 2x5x2, OT5. Somewhat Canon.

I Do Snippet https://terrablaze514.tumblr.com/post/179406539882/i-do-wip-wednesday

The idea for this fic was inspired by World Mental Health Day, and two writers who had discussed "Safe-touch therapy". It's bound to be a long oneshot story, Quatre-centric. Also an OT5 and Dorothy x Relena. My apologies in advance if this snippet is too short, but I came across some writing advice that held me back from sharing all I've *really* gotten so far. Anyways, completion soon awaits.

@vegalume

WIP Wednesday http://vegalume.tumblr.com/post/179396394330/wip-wednesday

Excerpt from Holiday Arc: Thanksgiving - the eventual part 7 of the Holiday Arc

Fanart:

@duointherain

http://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/179344756559/from-the-chapter-of-terminal-velocity-im-about-to

Duo Maxwell

@lemontrash

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/179424377309/a-v-quick-scribbly-duo-one-day-ill-figure-out

Duo Maxwell

@pazsune

http://pazsune.tumblr.com/post/178246285281

WuFei Chang

@rhysgalentalcernunnos

https://rhysgalentalcernunnos.tumblr.com/post/179509925591/anaranesindanarie-commissioned-this-treize-as-a

Treize Khushrenada

@seitoushi

https://seitoushi.tumblr.com/post/179477207116/a-quiet-moment-for-a-quiet-couple-on-their-day

Heero Yuy/Trowa Barton + Kitties!

@shinigami-of-excellence

http://shinigami-of-excellence.tumblr.com/post/179395235722/aca-collection-of-did-i-ever-post-these

Relena & Zechs

@vegalume

http://vegalume.tumblr.com/post/179459915546/midnightear-youre-on-a-date-with-zechs

Zechs Merquise

Photosets/Screenshots:

@hisuimaxwell

http://hisuimaxwell.tumblr.com/post/175068028262

Duo, WuFei, Trowa, Quatre, & Heero

Head Canons:

@disturbed02girl

https://disturbed02girl.tumblr.com/post/179285896445/thisweekingundamwing

Heero Yuy

@lemontrash

https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/179430311144/gundam-cakewrecks

Gundam Characters and their ‘Cakewrecks’

@lbro009

(It’s headcanon ish... shh~.)

Quotes/Dialogues:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179339018359/heero-can-you-take-constructive-criticism

Heero & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179294811548/trowa-doktor-s-says-that-if-i-cant-find-a-new

Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179330112622/heero-all-i-know-is-that-pre-kiss-trowa-doesnt

Heero, Trowa, & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179358320403/une-on-the-phone-just-snap-his-kneecaps-and

Une

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179426725613/at-preventers-hq-duo-fei-and-i-are-able-to

Duo, Sally, & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179439744690/quatre-i-wasnt-injured-i-was-lightly-stabbed

Quatre & Duo

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179440502209/heero-you-gotta-learn-to-love-yourself-trowa

Heero & Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179444669353/wufeis-babysitting-adventures

WuFei & Mariemaia

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179477145666/quatre-what-are-we-gonna-do-duo-i-dont-know

Quatre, Duo, WuFei, Trowa, & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179499599579/duo-i-turned-out-perfectly-fine-heero-duo-this

Duo & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/179510511470/heero-i-care-about-all-of-my-friends-equally

Heero & WuFei

OC October:

@lifeaftermeteor

Childhood Memories Prompt https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/179466243130/last-one-for-gwoc-october-childhood-memories

Sousuke Maxwell-Yuy

@skullqueensart

Meet the Family Prompt http://skullqueensart.tumblr.com/post/179305307282/meet-suzies-family

Suzie Tsurugi

Were they involved in the War Prompt http://skullqueensart.tumblr.com/post/179299574067/gwoc-october-week-4-day-1-2

Suzie, Mike, Angel, Kikki, Renee, Masato, Saturo, Jack, and Katsuro

How did they get involved Prompt http://skullqueensart.tumblr.com/post/179473727927/gwoc-october-week-4-days-34

Suzie, Mike, Akito, Kain, Angel, Kikki, Renee, Masato, and Saturo

@lochtayboatsong

https://lochtayboatsong.tumblr.com/post/179281685365/my-gundam-wing-sims

GW Sims OCs!

Goes with the Meet the Family Prompt.

Calendar Events:

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, between 3 & 5 pm EST.

Here’s the prompt for Friday November 2nd! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/179483610881/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday-november

@gwoc-october

Prompt Calendar https://gwoc-october.tumblr.com/post/178493762370/hoping-this-is-good-for-a-final-calendar-if-not

Come have fun and tell us about your OCs!

Only a few days left everyone!

Have no worries about “missing it” as you can answer these prompts about your OCs until next October when the prompts will change!

@lifeaftermeteor

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/177748352595/spooky-gw-shenanigans

Spooky Shenanigans at @gw-horror

https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/178903787564/might-be-that-time-again#notes

A potential Meet Up on the Discord Server for GW fans!

Pick a time frame and we’ll set what works best for a majority of people and host it then!

November 10-11 or November 17-18!

Please reply to the linked post!

@simulacraryn

Heero Yuy Month https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/177808907580/iso-more-heero-yuy-fanpeople

The Month of January (obviously, as it’s 01 *winks*)

Stay tuned for more news!

#21-27 October 2018 #Gundam Wing #Weekly Rouondup #This Week in Gundam Wing #thisweekingundamwing

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topclassteacher-blog · 6 years

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What it’s like to live and teach English in South Korea

I have been teaching for nearly 10 years and during that time, I have had the privilege of teaching in a number of different countries. Therefore, I’d like to write a few posts for other travellers who may be thinking of following in my footsteps.

So, first of all, let’s go back to where it all began; Busan, South Korea. The year is 2008 and I had just finished my degree. Like a lot of graduates, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life but I had spent the previous few years working with kids and I had loved it. Therefore, when my mum told me that the daughter of one of her friends was teaching in South Korea, I thought why not?

Before Going

One of the worst parts of my whole experience was before I went. First of all, a mate of mine was supposed to come with me but he dropped out - after we had had our leaving party! Then, the agent who I had been working with went on holiday and my visa application sat on her desk untouched. This meant that I was late arriving and I missed the training provided by the EPIK (English Program in Korea). That being said, I have since been told that the training was not fantastic and that a lot of my peers went to their respective schools feeling far from confident.

If you are planning to go to Korea, you must be in possession of the following things:

- A Bachelor’s Degree

- A passport from a native speaking English country (UK, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Ireland)

The following things are also important to consider

- No visible tattoos

- No history of mental illness

- No drug use (you are drug tested when you arrive)

However, remember that most employers in South Korea will pay for:

- Your rent

- Your flight (this will be reimbursed on arrival)

Arriving

Upon arriving in Busan, South Korea, I was taken to my school directly from the plane. Imagine my horror when I realised this - I was wearing a Hooters baseball top as it was the most comfortable and loose fitting thing I owned. I met the principal and had to give a little speech in front of all the other teachers - again something I wasn’t prepared for.

Just a day later, I was in front of my first ever class. I had been given a few textbooks (even then I could see what poor quality they were) and the powerpoints created by the previous incumbent of my position. I cobbled together an introduction lesson and stood up in front of the class. Now here is a huge difference to consider - will you be in a public school (organised by EPIK) or a hagwon (a private academy)? For an explanation of the difference, see the section below. I was with EPIK which meant I was assisted by a Korean co-teacher who translated everything I said into Korean. At the time, I thought this was great but I now realise that this is really bad practice. I was really glad she was there that day though as, 25 minutes into a 40 minute lesson, I ran out of things to say. Fortunately, she stepped in and ‘rescued’ me and by the time the next class rolled around, I had prepared a little more; enough to fill the time at least.

On the whole, I did the best I could in class but with no formal training, I acknowledge my lessons were pretty awful. That’s why I would definitely recommend getting a CELTA before teaching anywhere. Not only does it prepare you for what it’s like to stand in front of a class but you also get a slight salary bump as well.

EPIK or Hagwon?

EPIK

Advantages

A Korean co-teacher handles discipline and is on hand to translate any difficult words.

You don’t teach the same class all the time so you can ‘rinse and repeat’ lessons which means less planning.

Your classes are often cancelled as they are not high priority. This means you often get paid for doing nothing. For me, this was actually a disadvantage because I went stir-crazy with nothing to do for long periods.

You work a traditional work week - 8.30-4.30, Monday-Friday.

You are much less likely to get bad accommodation, although this does happen.

Disadvantages

Days are very repetitive

You may be the only native speaker teacher there which can make meeting new people difficult

You sometimes feel like a circus attraction - the kids used to come to my class just to stare at me or pull hairs out of my arms.

Hagwon

Advantages

Higher salary

You teach the same children so you have a chance to learn names and build a relationship with them

There are other native speakers around for you to interact with.

You are given full lesson plans to work with

Disadvantages

There are a lot of shady operators who do not treat their teachers very well, e.g. a friend of mine was made to live in her boss’ basement.

You work until late. The normal work day is 2-10pm.

Your classes are NEVER cancelled. If you are contracted to work those hours, there will always be students there.

You have to handle discipline yourself.

Life in Korea

Socialising in Korea

Socialising in Korea was incredible. I quickly got myself into a football team of native speaker teachers and travelled all over Korea with them and I had a large group of friends. While the majority of my free time was spent out drinking and partying, I also had some of the most incredible experiences there including:

- Making Kimchi (see food) with monks

- Diving with sharks at the Busan Aquarium

- Jumping off the Daegu Tower (unfortunately this is now closed)

- Playing in a volleyball tournament on Haeundae Beach in Busan

- Being invited to a co-teacher’s house for traditional Korean food

- Visiting incredible temples - Yonggungsa in Busan is stunning!

2. Korean Food

I miss the food - my God how I miss the food! When I arrived, I wasn’t convinced by the food but after being shown around by my new friends, I realised that Korean food is fantastic. Here are some of the things you need to try

- Kimchi. The Korean staple, Kimchi is fermented cabbage served in a chilli sauce. While it may not sound nice, it’s different in every restaurant that you visit and when you find 2-3 restaurants where they make good kimchi, you will not be able to stop eating it. Popular variations are Kimchi-jigae (Kimchi soup) and Kimchi-Pahjon (Kimchi pancake) which are also delicious.

- Samgyupsal and Bulgogi. Order raw meat and cook it on your own personal grill with onions, garlic, Korean chilli paste and Kimchi. Then enjoy family style!

- Hae-Jang-Guk. Translated this means ‘hangover soup’ and boy does it do the job. The contents are pork spine with a fiery broth. The meat just melts in your mouth and you can add rice for extra yumminess.

- Tang-Soo-Yuk. Korea’s answer to sweet and sour, this is much more tasty in my opinion. Sticky and really unhealthy, it’s another thing you won’t want to stop eating.

- Ojingo. Squid that is served while it is still moving. This is an acquired taste but something you have to try. The sensation of the suckers sticking to the inside of your mouth is bizarre but unique.

3. Korean people/customs

On the whole, you will find Koreans a pleasant enough bunch and some of the younger generations have grown up having native speaking English teachers so it is normal for them. Make an effort to have some Korean friends even though it’s tempting to just hang around with other English speakers. Some of my best experiences came with my Korean friends Gyu-Ho, and (Super) Hans. However, there are a few things you should be aware of. Do not get into any kind of conflict with a Korean as your status as a foreigner means you are always in the wrong (even in the eyes of the police in some cases). Koreans are fiercely protective of their language and are not especially helpful when you make mistakes. Do what I didn’t and take classes to make sure your pronunciation is spot on.

Korean people (especially women) love to form relationships with native speakers and while they are very affectionate and undeniably attractive in a lot of cases, this can cause problems with old-fashioned families. One friend of mine was told that he would marry his Korean girlfriend ‘over her father’s dead body’.

This section seems unduly negative and I don’t want it to be. Most of the people I met were great people and were so happy that I was there to share in their culture. The negative sides of this part are more a case of ‘forewarned is forearmed’.

In terms of customs, you will often find that you will need to remove your shoes before entering a house or, in my case, even a school. However, they will often provide slippers/sandals for you to wear.

While eating there are a few customs to be aware of. A lot of meals in restaurants are served on low tables which require you to sit cross-legged. I am the least flexible person ever so this was not an enjoyable experience for me. Also, the person sitting opposite you is your ‘partner’ and you are ‘responsible’ for them, Make sure they always have a drink in front of them and serve it to them with one hand while holding the other on your bicep, e.g. serve with your right hand, your left hand should be on your right bicep. Finally, please please please learn to use chopsticks before you go. When I arrived, I didn’t know how to use them and it caused me no end of embarrassment. When I finally learned, my Korean co-teachers and waiters/waitresses in restaurants were so happy. It’s a small thing but it makes a huge difference.

The last major custom that you should be aware of is the different approach to nudity. Koreans will often visit jjimjilbangs (spas) with friends and coworkers. Once inside, the men and the women are separated and go into large spa rooms/hot baths completely naked. This is normal but Korean people are a little prone to staring especially if, like me, you are quite hirsute.

4. Shopping in Korea

While you are in Korea, you will still be able to get a lot of your home comforts. In Busan, they have a Costco where you can buy a lot of Western food although you have to buy it in bulk.

In terms of clothes, you need to be aware that sizes differ drastically. Here in the UK, when buying a pair of shorts, I wear a medium but in Korea my shorts were an XL! Also, for women, if you are busty, it can be very difficult to find clothes that will fit. A friend of mine once went into a shop and the shop assistant pointed at her chest and said “No size, no size”.

As you might imagine, electronics are cheap so there’s no need to take too many gadgets with you. I bought a really nice camera out there much cheaper than I could have bought it in the UK.

5. Transport/Getting Around in Korea

The best way of travelling from city to city in Korea is the KTX (the bullet train). This super-fast train is affordable and comfortable and is a pleasure to travel on. If you’re on a budget there is also the mugunghwa which is an older, slower train that is used to get to smaller towns and villages.

In terms of travelling in the city, most of the big cities have a subway system which makes it easy to get around. I used this opportunity to learn the Korean letters as all the stations are in Korean and in English. There are also buses that you can use if there isn’t a subway station near where you are heading. Finally, taxis are much cheaper than in the UK (I’d say cheaper even than Uber) but make sure that you know how to pronounce where you’re going - I got into a rather heated argument with a taxi driver about my pronunciation of White Hotel as the Korean pronunciation was White-uh Hoe-ter. As you might imagine, I was quite upset about having my pronunciation of English words corrected.

Last word

Overall, Korea is a wonderful place and a part of me still misses living there. The quality of life is great and as an English teacher you will be financially comfortable.

I hope this guide to living in Korea has been helpful and if there is anything I haven’t covered or if you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

#teach abroad #teach in korea #tefl #tefl life #busan #korean food #korean transport #socialising #topclassteacher #life in korea

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christinaroseandrews · 7 years

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Writing Jewish Characters: Yom Kippur

So I bet you all weren’t expecting to see me back so soon! Well, you’re in luck, since we’re in the three week period I like to call “all the Jewish holidays.”

Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, sometimes referred to as Shabbat Shabbatot (the Shabbat of Shabbats) is the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. It is a one day holiday which falls on the 10th of Tishrei, which is between September 13th and October 13th. The no work rules (see this post) definitely apply. In fact, this is the one day where (unless I’m ill or the weather makes it impossible) I always walk to and from synagogue, despite fasting.

If your Jewish character is going to go to synagogue one day a year, it’s this one. If they’re going to fast one day a year, it’s definitely going to be this one.

Greetings on Yom Kippur are “an easy fast” and “G’mar Chatima Tova” or “G’Mar Tov”, which means “may you be sealed in the book of good [i.e. the book of life]”.

Synagogue

Yom Kippur is the most synagogue-oriented holiday in the Jewish calendar (as opposed to home-oriented holidays like Passover). Synagogues won’t do anything overnight, but that’s about the only time they’ll be empty.

While there aren’t specific rules for what to wear to synagogue on Yom Kippur, there are traditions. More religious Jews refrain from wearing leather shoes (I’ve heard various reasons why, ranging from avoiding comfort to stories about Joseph’s brothers selling him for shoes). A lot of people wear white, particularly at Kol Nidre (the very first service of the holiday). This is for atonement, purity, and, oddly, to remind us of death. For men, this is most often accomplished by wearing the kittel, but many women specifically buy white clothing for Yom Kippur. Neither of these is a requirement, and you won’t be kicked out of synagogue for not following them. However, they’re both very common, particularly among the Orthodox.

Yom Kippur starts at the beginning of sunset (which is based on your synagogue’s location and the exact date) with candle-lighting, both of holiday candles (which double as Shabbat candles if Yom Kippur happens to fall on Friday/Saturday like it does this year) and of Yizkor (memorial) candles.

While I’ll be discussing Yizkor in more depth when I get around to writing a post about death in Judaism, for now it’s enough to know that it’s a prayer you say on specific holidays (Yom Kippur, Sh’mini Atzeret, the 8th day of Passover, and the 2nd day of Shavuot) for close relatives who have died. Close relatives is defined as a parent, child, spouse, or sibling.

A long-lasting candle is lit at sundown before each of these days and is allowed to burn until it naturally dies.

Immediately after candle-lighting, there’s the Kol Nidre (all vows) service. This is a one to two hour service in which we start the full Yom Kippur repentance (we’ve already done some in the ten days leading up to this - see my Rosh Hashanah post for details - but this is the full ramping up).

The Torahs are dressed in white (much like the humans!) and paraded around the entire sanctuary, until everyone has a chance to touch one. Then there’s a bunch of prayer, including the first appearance of the Viddui (confession), the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy, and the Avinu Malkeinu (Our Father, Our King). All of these prayers are repeated multiple times throughout the holiday.

As Kol Nidre is one of the most-attended services in Judaism, and charity is one way to atone for sins, this is often when synagogues do their yearly appeal for donations. Rabbis will speak of all the good the synagogue has done over the past year and how, with your money, they can do more. As you can’t actually use money or electronics or even write on Yom Kippur, this often involves committing but not actually giving the money until after - but it still counts in terms of atonement.

My synagogue gives out personalized cards which state how much money you gave last year, with flaps to fold down for different amounts so you can choose how much money to give this year. The synagogue also gives a second card, with good deeds (such as donating to the homeless shelter, driving the elderly around, or providing meals for people in mourning) that you can also commit to.

After this, everyone goes home and sleeps.

The morning starts with yet more prayer - at my synagogue, services will run from about 9 am to 2 pm. There’s all the usual parts of a Shabbat service, just moreso, with the addition of repentance and confession. (I’ll be making a Shabbat post in the future, so look for that.) This is also when the actual Yizkor service takes place. It’s a very solemn moment.

During the afternoon, people tend to do one of two things: nap or study. I usually go for option a, but many Jews won’t leave synagogue at all, either napping as they can or spending the time between services studying, another form of showing your devotion to God. Honestly, by this point, you usually want the nap - which has to do with the lack of food/water, as I’ll be discussing farther down.

After the rest, there’s more synagogue - we start back up at about 4:30 or 5 and run all the way until the sun has set. This service is called Ne’ilah, or closing, because it’s when God closes the gates of Heaven, having decided who will live and who will die in the next year. The last part of this service is particularly difficult, as the Ark is open and you can see the Torahs, which, in Judaism, means you’re supposed to stand. After fasting, that’s not easy! So a lot of people sit.

The holiday ends with the recitation of a few specific lines and a shofar blast, in which the community reaffirms its commitment to God.

And then we all go home and eat.

For writing purposes, think about how your character is going to be feeling. Do they miss loved ones during Yizkor? Do they like all the ceremony or hate it? Do they feel guilty about things they’ve done wrong or not? And if they do, will they actually try to make an apology? Do they give to charity? And do they focus on it now?

Very few Jews will work this day - so how does that impact them? Are their jobs understanding or not? (That will depend partly on the organization/area you’re writing in. In NYC, it’s almost a given that Jews will be out. Elsewhere in the country, it may not be. But even here it often counts as a vacation/sick/personal leave day, depending on how a job categorizes it. Does having to take a lot of “extra” vacation days impact your character’s vacation schedule the rest of the year?)

Fasting (and Feasting)

Yom Kippur is the most major fast day in the Jewish calendar by far. While I discussed this some at both Passover and Tisha B’Av, it bears repeating.

In Judaism, there are two types of fast days: major and minor. Major fast days last from sunset to sunset while minor fast days last from sunrise to sunset. In both cases, nothing can be consumed, including food and drink. That includes water. Which means Yom Kippur is 25 to 25 ½ hours with no food or water.

Adult Jews who are healthy are expected to fast for the entire day. You are technically an adult at the age of 12 or 13 (we’ll get to that when I hit up life cycles, at Bar/Bat Mitzvah) but teens don’t always fast immediately. No one gets angry if a 13-year-old can’t make it the whole day, at least not in any sane community.

Young children are not expected to fast at all, while older children will be slowly weaned into the day. The steps are generally: give up sweets, skip breakfast, push lunch back farther and farther until it’s essentially dinner, give up water. These steps will take years to get through.

If you are not healthy and need to eat or drink for medical reasons, you are expected to eat or drink as needed, but no more than needed (so skip that piece of cake). This includes anyone who takes medication that requires food, pregnant women, and women who are nursing. As a personal example, in 2011 neither I nor my stepsister-in-law fasted, as she was one week from her scheduled c-section to give birth to her twins and I was just two weeks past surgery to take care of a ruptured ovarian cyst, during which I spent three nights in the hospital. But in 2012, when we were both back to normal, we both fasted.

While not everyone fasts, a lot of Jews do - and like I said at the beginning, if you’re going to fast one holiday per year, it’s this one. If you do two, it’s this and Tisha B’Av - very few Jews other than the Orthodox do the five minor fast days as well.

Food/drink isn’t the only thing Jews give up on Yom Kippur. A lot of religious Jews won’t bathe either (though many go to a mikveh for a ritual cleansing right before the holiday, so it’s not like they’re gross), and sex is definitely a no-go. Basically, you keep yourself alive, but uncomfortable, to focus on the spirituality of the day rather than bodily needs.

Now let’s talk food!

Because of the fast day, there’s really only two meals eaten at Yom Kippur - one right before the holiday starts, and one right after it ends. The only required food is challah, because bread is always required to make a full meal and that’s the Jewish ritual bread (though gluten-free and paleo Jews have found ways around that). Everything else is a matter of tradition - and generally family tradition at that. There is no universal meal.

In my family, we go for protein and carbs right before the holiday: generally, my mother makes simple baked chicken, egg noodles, and steamed broccoli. She also serves challah with honey. Everyone drinks water. Lots of water. Lots and lots and lots of water. (Seriously, you’re prepping for 25 1/2 hours without water, you want extra.)

The meal after Yom Kippur has a specific name: break fast. No, not breakfast. Break fast is pronounced like the word “break” and the word “fast” - you’re breaking the fast. (It has the same roots as breakfast, obviously, but the pronunciation is different.)

Orthodox/Conservative Jews will not break the fast until after the sun has fully set, but Reform Jews will often move it earlier, making the holiday and the fast shorter.

Every family will have its own traditions, but it’s often foods that can be prepped before the holiday and left in the fridge (so you don’t have to cook after Yom Kippur but can go straight to the eating). I often see bagels with various toppings (lox, cream cheese, butter, other spreads), coffee cakes, fruit, cheese, and donuts. Orange juice is popular, though I’ve also seen lemonade, and there’s obviously water. Eggs are one of the more common cooked foods, but I’ve also seen pre-made tuna and egg salad.

Food - both the lifeblood of Judaism and something we intentionally deny ourselves at times.

So think about your characters and how they’ll feel - and in this case, it’s as much physical as mental! Do they find it easy to go without food? Difficult? Are they like me - I can manage it, but around 20 hours in, my body stops being able to regulate temperature properly and I keep going from too hot to freezing and back. Do they get shakes from going cold turkey on caffeine for one day? My stepfather always spends the week between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur cutting down his coffee intake to avoid that specific problem.

How do they feel if they do have to eat? Guilty? Does it bother them at all? Or maybe it doesn’t - maybe they don’t fully observe the fast.

In addition, if you’re writing a character with kids, the kids still have to eat. How does this impact the parent?

And what if your character isn’t Jewish, but is dating a Jew? Do they try to give up food/water? Do they feel guilty if they don’t? Is trying to fast harder when you’ve never done it before?

Ultimately, think about how the lack of food and the day of atoning in synagogue impact your character, and use those to create a richer, fuller, Jewish world for your characters.

(And if you have questions, always always always feel free to ask!)

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