#i have a massive ongoing au in my head

[neoneun-au]

CAN'T HELP MYSELF; CHAPTER III: WHO WAITS FOR LOVE?

―PAIRING: wonwoo x fem!reader, mingyu x fem!reader ―GENRE: love triangle au, fluff, mild angst, romantic comedy, suggestive, smut ―CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 11.2k ―CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst, mild language, alcohol consumption, masturbation (explicit female, implied/mentions of male), 18+ only ―STATUS: ongoing

―AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cant link them here, but please find the series masterlist and other chapters on my blog. i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far, this is really only fun with interaction and it helps keep me motivation to finish !

iii: who waits for love?

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“You didn’t mention one of my roommates was basically a fucking model,” you complain, sinking into the absurdly massive grey sectional next to Jeonghan as he sits scrolling on his phone, attention removed from the drama providing background noise on the shared TV. 

“Who? Mingyu?” He tosses his head back with a bark of a laugh at the suggestion, “he’s a model idiot.” 

“Idiot or not you should have warned me he’d be so…so,” you toss your hands in the air, a dramatic display of frustration completed by the furrow in your brows. The image of Mingyu’s bare chest from your initial meeting (new and improved version 2.0 of hot roommate: now accompanied by a soundtrack of bed squeaks and the joy of someone else’s orgasm!) assaults your senses and you scrub it from your mind’s eye as best as you can before fixing your weary gaze back on Jeonghan, “so hot.”

“Oh please,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes as soon as the word falls from your lips. “Yeah he’s easy on the eyes, but once you get to know him his looks are much less impressive, trust me.” He shakes his head, raising his coffee to take a sip before pursing his lips and fixing you with a concerned stare, “I didn’t take you as the type to pine after tall, dark, and stupid. You’re not thinking of using him as a rebound are you?”

“What? Absolutely not,” the reply comes out perhaps more fervently than it should have because what was intended to deny the suggestion only serves to deepen the crease settling in between Jeonghan’s manicured eyebrows. You clear your throat and take a sip from the mug of tea growing cold in your hands as a cover. 

“Rebound,” you scoff at the word, trying to play off the twisting feeling in your gut with derision but only managing to dig the knife in deeper. “Definitely not. I have no plans to start dating anytime soon. Not after this breakup.” You’re aware that you’ve begun to ramble but as per usual, your mouth runs away with your words. Try as you might, you cannot scramble to retrieve them as they spill forward like a damn breaking open. Jeonghan stares at you with a slight frown as you monologue, “I barely even want to look at men full-stop. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, you’re okay, we’re friends and all. And Seungcheol is fine I guess ‘cause he lifted all of my heavy shit up the stairs like some kind of bodybuilding angel sent from protein-heaven,” a stray strand of hair falls in front of your eyes and you blow it away with a short puff of breath. 

“But dating? No. No, no, no,” you continue unabated, “absolutely not. I’m taking this time to get to know me. If anything, I’m dating myself. Mingyu might be hot but he won’t break my resolve, that’s for sure. I am determined,” you finish the speech with a single, firm nod–agreement with yourself clear and solid and in no way capable of breaking at the threat of warm brown puppy eyes flashed in your direction. 

“Right,” Jeonghan drags out the word, unconvinced by your impassioned declaration of independence. “Well, if you get bored of dating yourself and do end up wanting someone to mess around with for a bit, I can hook you up with some people. Serious or…less serious. Your choice.”

“I will be just fine on my own, thank you.” You nod once. Firm. Decisive. Not at all embarrassed by the display. 

“If you say so,” he sings, shaking his head and pushing himself off the couch before flicking the TV off. You sit in silence for a moment, sipping the last of your lukewarm tea, and listen as Jeonghan’ footsteps fade into the kitchen. The slight lingering guilt and shame from the night before stains your thoughts. A ring of liquid left on the surface of a coffee table, encircling the memory of Mingyu’s moaning and the keen sense of desire that burned a pit in your core at the sound.

Jeonghan returns from the kitchen a second later and sits down on the arm of the couch. He clears his throat to speak, more serious than you had seen since graduating university. “Listen, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life,” he begins. You inhale to laugh your disagreement of the statement but he holds up a single hand to silence you so you bite it back just as quickly. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I will just give you a warning, if I may” he lets his hand fall back down to his lap, “as your friend. And as someone who has your best interest at heart.” 

“Fine,” you allow, buying into the sincerity, “I’m listening.” 

“I said that I can hook you up with people both serious and not so serious,” he says, pausing to take a deep breath, “Mingyu is not serious.”

The image of the man in question pops up in your mind once more. An observable object–lips locked with the mystery brunette, hands roaming the expanse of her body as they flutter like a pair of dragonflies locked in a mating ritual towards his bedroom. The chorus of “ohs” and “ahs” that chorus in your ears like the audio from the old Italian softcore porn films you used to sneak out of bed to watch in your adolescence. The squeaking of the bed frame, and even the eventual abrupt departure first thing this morning, project themselves across the walls of your brain like a feel of film. All fleeting images and experiences serve as firsthand evidence backing up what Jeonghan is saying to you at this moment in the harsh light of day. 

“If you’re in it for a quick, no strings attached hookup then, well,” he sighs, brushing his bangs out from in front of his eyes, “you’re a grown woman, I trust you can make your own decisions. But I’ve never seen Mingyu with the same girl more than once. So just…be careful. Because if you want something substantial, you would be barking up the wrong tree with him.” 

You nod and the previous image of Mingyu–all roaming hands and bucking hips–dissolves pixel by pixel into the knitted brows of concern and the serious expression his classically handsome face held barely an hour ago. The warmth of his hand as it pressed ever so lightly against the skin of your forehead–an act so painfully tender and familiar it made you yearn at the intimacy of it. While your logical mind does believe what Jeonghan is saying, another part of you (a deeper and much more foolish part) can’t help but feel like there has to be more to Mingyu than the rest of them give him credit for. That maybe there is something to be taken seriously there. 

The thought dissipates into vapour as Vernon strolls down the stairs–bleary eyed and dazed with the lingering sleep still clawing at the corners of his eyes. He nods lazily in silent greeting, clad in tie dye and baggy jeans, and walks past the pair of you and disappears into the kitchen. 

“Just,” Jeonghan hesitates a moment, waiting for the sound of the fridge opening in the next room to disrupt the strained silence that had settled between you, “be careful, okay?” 

“Don’t worry,” you smile, genuinely grateful for the advice and care from your long-time friend, despite the bells of disagreement ringing out inside of you. “I’ll be fine.”

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“Do you think I need a rebound?” The question comes after an hour of banter and conversation over way too expensive cocktails in the dimly lit corner of the bar you used to frequent when you were still going to university with Seulgi. Her insistence that you get out of the apartment and stop stewing in your own thoughts had finally paid off and truthfully the distraction was not entirely unwelcome. But you were still stubbornly refusing to admit that she was right. The status quo of your friendship since the very beginning. 

“Didn’t you say you were swearing off men or something?” Seulgi asks, tapping a manicured fingernail against the side of her nearly empty manhattan. 

“That was before I saw the reality of the men I was swearing off,” you sigh, mourning the loss of your already weak resolve. Solemn regret for the poorly timed declamations you had given voice to in the past. “And the reality is that they're pretty fucking hot.” 

“You mean one of them is pretty fucking hot, right?” she emphasizes, ever observant, and you grimace at her over the lip of your own half-empty glass.  

“One of them looks like a Greek fucking God for no reason,” you grumble, turning to wave the waitress over for another round, “like Adonis or something. It’s not my fault I have functioning eyeballs.” 

“Adonis wasn’t a god, he was the mortal lover of Aphrodite.”

“Well whatever he was, I’m now stuck living in an apartment with him.” The young waitress walks up with an expectant look and Seulgi orders another round of the same while you drain the last of your drink, savouring the bitterness of the gin as it lingers at the tip of your tongue. You watch the waitress as she walks back towards the bar, brunette ponytail swinging behind her like in rhythm with her steps, and wonder vaguely if maybe she’s the girl you saw Mingyu with. 

Seulgi turns back to you with a slight roll of her eyes, “I’m sure it's not that bad. Just ignore him, you’re mostly working or asleep  when you’re not just hanging around bugging me anyway.” 

“Pretty hard to ignore him when he’s so openly hooking up with some random girl in a condo with 4 other people who can clearly hear him.” 

“Well put some earphones in or something, listen to a podcast,” she laughs, shaking her head. You bite your tongue, reluctant to mention the fact that you had willingly listened in as they fucked. That maybe you had enjoyed it a little more than you were letting on. You didn’t need the inevitable teasing that was bound to come if you told her any of that. “Do you remember our one roommate? From second year?” 

“Oh god,” you balk at the memory, “Johnny?” 

“He was so loud,” she grimaces. So many late nights spent huddled together on her bed watching movies, joined in mutual avoidance of the self-proclaimed playboy and his rotating roster of girls. “And then you went and hooked up with him which was just the worst. He was so insufferable after that.” 

“Hey, in my defense I was desperate and not exactly in my right mind,” you bristle at the thought of your pathetic, erstwhile crush. Surely, you had thought in the throes of your youth and naivety, someone who pulled that many girls knows exactly how to make them feel good. Yet by the end of it, as he lay open-mouthed snoring on the bare mattress next to you, you were left with a clear idea of why you never seemed to see the same girl more than once. “Anyway, from the sounds coming out of her, Mingyu seems to actually know what he’s doing in bed.” 

“So you did listen,” she smirks. 

“The walls are thin,” you let the paltry excuse fall from your lips as she tosses her head back in laughter. Gulping down a mouthful of water in a vain attempt to swallow some of the embarrassment boiling like hot lava in your bloodstream. 

“What do you think they were doing?” Seulgi leans forward with a conspiratorial gaze–brown eyes full and bright and filled to the brim with a hint of evil. There have been a few moments throughout your years of friendship where she has fixed you with a look like this, and most of them led to some of the worst decisions either of you have ever made. Breaking into the community swimming pool after dark, stealing the neighbouring houses’ lawn ornaments, making out with dudes that may or may not have been married. Her desire for intrigue terrified and excited you in equal measure. 

“Pretty sure they were fucking,” you respond and she sits back, disappointed at the bland reply. 

“Yeah, I got that part. I mean details. If we’re gossiping, we should do it right.” 

The cacophony of the bar consumes you. Chatter and laughter from nearby tables floods your senses, drowning out the roar of guilt that knocks at the door of your mind as you consider your next words carefully. Whether to completely dive off the deep end and betray your new roommates privacy (in more ways than you already have). If you had been a little more sober and a little less intrigued by the man in your own right, you might have shut the topic of conversation down before it even began. You might have left the apartment for the night and slept on a chair in the lobby and avoided the entire tryst to prevent the memory of his moans from carving themselves into your temporal lobe. 

But you did not and now you are just as invested in the situation, and Seulgi’s complete lack of shame about asking for details further strangled any lingering guilt you had left. “Well,” you start and she leans in closer, eyes alight with anticipation, “they started in the hallway. I thought they were going to have sex right against the wall while I was trapped hiding behind the couch.” 

She laughs, head tossed back in mirth, “bet you would have loved that. Mingyu, bare ass out in front of you,” she jeers and you bristle at the accusation (even if you know she’s right). The waitress returns with your drinks and you mumble a brief thank you to her as she sets the glasses down. Seulgi continues to laugh, pleased with your reaction, “it would have been your wet dream come true.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m not saying anything else,” you grumble into your fresh drink, wincing at the bite of the liquor. Cocktails were never your thing but Seulgi had offered to pay so who were you to refuse. 

“Aww,” she whines, “fine, fine, I’ll stop teasing you. Please give me the play by play. I am so curious.” She claps her hands together in mock prayer, pleading for your cooperation, and you think she might make an excellent lawyer or serial killer if she weren’t so normal most of the time.

“Fine,” you relent after a beat, already too wrapped up in reliving the night to abandon the story anyway. “Obviously,” you stress, “that didn’t happen. They were making out there for maybe like 5 minutes but it felt like hours. I was so worried she was going to see me but thankfully I managed to stay pretty low.” 

Seulgi takes a sip of her darkly coloured drink, you can tell she wants to interject but she manages to hold true to her promise. 

“So they stumble off to his room,” you continue with a sigh, “and I go to mine, which, mind you, is right next to his. We share a wall.” She winces and you give her a knowing nod, steeling yourself against the all too vivid memory. “I crawl into bed, trying to block out the noise for a while, which at this point isn’t too loud. It’s just like…some muffled talking and moaning and the occasional slap of like…skin on skin. Maybe he spanked her…” you trail off, shaking your head along with the words, fully invested in the theatrics of the storytelling now. “But, through some cruel twist of fate his bed, just like mine, is also right up against our shared wall. So as soon as they really get going, I can feel it.”

“What, like…” she thrusts in her seat, a quizzical slant to her eyebrows, “like shaking?” 

“Yup,” you pop the ‘p’ for emphasis and she lets out a low whistle. 

“For how long?” 

“I don’t know,” you shake your head, “felt like forever. I was just clutching my sheets like it was an earthquake or something.” You do conveniently leave out the heat of desire and curling of toes, but she didn’t need to know that part. 

“Did it start off slow?” she asks, voice conspiratorial. “Fast? Do you think he ate her out first?”

“Seulgi,” you hiss, keeping your voice low. You glance over at the table of college guys next to you but they don't appear to have been listening.

“What, I’m not allowed to ask?” She balks, hand on heart, and appears offended for a moment before the usual mischievousness settles back in and she leans forward with a glint. “Did Wonwoo ever eat you out?”

“We are not discussing the details of my sex life right now.” 

“No of course not,” she rolls her eyes, “we’re just discussing the details of someone else’s.” You grumble at the inability to argue with this statement. “How long has it been since you got laid anyway?” 

“I don’t know,” you sigh, dropping your head to the table and then regretting it immediately when you realise how sticky it is. “Like five months maybe?”

“Five? Didn’t you break up with Wonwoo like…” she fixes her eyes on the ceiling for a brief moment, calculating the time passed in her head before turning back to you with frown lines creased into her forehead, “six weeks ago?”

You shrug, sinking your embarrassment into another sip of alcohol, “so we hadn’t had sex in a while, so what?” 

“Do you think maybe that was a contributing factor in your dissatisfaction with the relationship?” She leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. 

“I don’t need a therapy session, Seulgi.” 

“On the contrary, I think you would benefit greatly from therapy,” she laughs, “but that’s not what this is. You’ve just been sort of distant lately.” You open your mouth to protest but she stops you with a glance, “don’t start, I know we’ve been hanging out, but over the last few months you haven’t been as open about your emotions and stuff. You used to tell me everything, even things I didn’t want or need to hear, but for a while it feels like you’ve just been…hiding. Internalizing.” She leans forward and taps the center of your forehead with one, manicured finger. “Stop that. It’s not good for you to be in your head so much.”

“I hate to say it but, you’re right,” you sigh, begrudgingly agreeing with her observation. The skin where she had poked you tingling in the aftermath of her touch like a beacon of truth.

“I always am,” she nods, “but seriously. We’re friends. I want to hear how you’re feeling. I know I make fun of you a lot, but that’s just ‘cause you’re so easy to make fun of.”

“Hey!” 

She laughs and you’re reminded of why she and Jeonghan always got along so well. “Seriously though,” she says, expression sobering, “maybe you wouldn’t fixate so much of your loneliness and desperation onto random guys if you got out of your head a bit more regularly. Just a thought.” 

“It's not desperation, I just…” you trail off, unsure of where to begin. Unsure even of what your own internal landscape was trying to tell you. You wanted to confide in her, to be more open and transparent, but it was hard to do that when none of you couldn’t even sort out your thoughts and feelings from your anxieties and worries. It was hard to be clear when everything just felt like mud. She waits, expectant, as you sift through the much for some clear strand of thought. “You’re right, about the loneliness anyway, I know you are.” She nods, dark hair spilling over her shoulders. “But it’s not desperation.”

“So then what is it?” she asks and you try to place it. Try to tug on the thought to follow where it was leading you. What was it about Mingyu that made you feel like you were chasing something? Clawing at the walls of some well of yearning like a prisoner of your own desires. What was it about him that was making you want more? More information, more contact, more, more, more. 

“I think,” you start, hesitant to speak the word lest it be wrong. “I think it’s curiosity.”

“About Mingyu?” 

“Yeah, him. And about myself,” you shake your head. Ruminating on your spiraling thoughts was one thing, but vocalising them for someone who knew you oftentimes better than you knew yourself was another thing entirely. Your thoughts held more weight now that someone else was bearing witness to them. They had more consequences now than just 15 minutes of anxiety or a few hours of doom-scrolling.

“What about yourself?” she asks, unraveling the mess as you present it to her. 

“I feel like…I’ve been in this strange place between needing people for everything and also trying my best to not need anyone at all. I can’t do my taxes without help, I can’t change a tire without help, I can’t even move apartments without it! But when it comes to emotions or vulnerability…I would rather just deal with it on my own, you know?” She nods, attention focused completely on you. Despite how long you’ve been friends, the direct attention still flickers a switch of shyness inside of you.  

“That’s what it was like with Wonwoo, too. He was never the most emotionally available person and I think I just got used to dealing with things on my own because of it. I didn’t want to burden him with my thoughts or feelings cause I know I have a lot of them. Don’t get me wrong, though, it wasn’t like he refused to listen or anything I just…he just wasn’t really open with his own feelings or thoughts so I sort of started to feel guilty about dominating those conversations all the time with mine. Like I was using him as some sort of emotional punching bag. And then I just got used to it, and it took so long for me to realise that I needed something more than that…” 

Any hesitation you had felt before dissipates as you talk, little by little. You feel like you’re back in your dorm room together, laying on your floor and just letting yourself pour out every thought, every feeling, every worry you had. Stream of consciousness–your lips to Seulgi’s ears. That open vulnerability you shared before life and work and everything else got in the way and left the door open for inhibition, shame, and guilt to move into the space between.

You feel lighter as you speak, like you had been needing this–craving it. Waiting for her invitation to come to let loose the torrential downpour of your mind to a willing listener. To a friend. 

She was right. She always was.

“So what is it about this Mingyu guy, then? You don’t think he would just be the same?” She asks, shifting the focus, and you purse your lips in concentration. 

“I’m not sure…” you trail off. And you really weren’t sure. Was he just an idle fascination after all? Did you just find him hot and that smoke screen of good looks was blinding you to the fact that he was just some guy like everyone before him? Or was there actually something there, in spite of it all? You mull it over while Seulgi takes a leisurely sip of her drink. “I was talking to Jeonghan the other day, and he said something that sort of made me think–”

“That’s a surprise,” she laughs, unable to resist the opportunity for a jab at your mutual friend. 

“He said ‘Mingyu is not serious’ and I don’t know,” you continue, unabated by her comment, “I get this feeling that that’s not the full truth.”

“What, like psychic intuition?” she laughs and you shake your head. 

“No, no…well, maybe. I don’t know. Obviously I don’t know the guy very well yet, and I have seen him do exactly what Jeonghan was warning me he does but…” you sigh, trying to collect your scattered thoughts of the man that is currently plaguing your mind. “He has also been very thoughtful, and he seems to notice such small details that the others don’t. I don’t know…I just think there might be something more to him than that, you know?”

“And you think you’re going to be the one to discover that side of him?” she asks, eyebrow quirked. Astute as ever. 

“No,” you start, but catch yourself in the lie immediately. “Well, yeah, I guess. I just want to see if my hunch is correct.” 

She fixes you with a withering gaze, dark brown eyes boring into your own for a moment before she laughs again, “Oh I get it now, you want to fix him.”

“I can’t help it, I love a project,” you sigh, resting your cheek in your palm and tracing idle circles against the wood grain of the table top. 

“So take up crocheting or something! Stop throwing yourself at every man who looks like a kicked puppy.” You groan at the accusation but can’t deny the truth in it. You did have a track record. “Look, if you want to do this. Really want to crack that big beefy chest open and see what’s inside, I’m not going to stop you, but I’m warning you now that I do not think this is going to end well.”

“You sound like Jeonghan,” you mumble, eyes closed as you listen to the lecture. 

“Good, at least someone you live with has some brains.” She shakes her head, pausing to hand her card to the waitress as she walks over with the bill for the evening. Silence stretches out for a moment, the din of the bar enclosing in to envelop you in its swell as you wait for the transaction to finish. The waitress returns and Seulgi slips her card back into her wallet before turning back to you, “I’m not saying this to be mean, but I really think you should take some time to be with yourself before you end up repeating the same mistakes you made with Wonwoo.” 

“Harsh,” you mutter, feeling the sting of it spear through your heart and settle there. Slow poison. 

She softens, eyes warming as she slides off her chair. You follow suit and walk with her out into the chill of the night. The bitterness of winter was starting to seep slowly into the air, you can feel it biting at your skin as you step outside with her to wait for the Uber she ordered to pull up.

“I love you and I want what’s best for you, and if you think that there might be something there with this Mingyu guy then I hope you’re right, I really do,” she says, a smile softening her expression. “I just want you to be careful, ok?” 

“Okay,” you sigh, hugging your arms tight against your chest to fight off the wind as it blisters through your thin jacket. “I love you, too. And I will be careful, I promise. I’m not really too keen to repeat my last relationship either…”

“Good,” she nods, eyes roaming to the curb as a slick black sedan pulls up. “I’ll see you soon. Try not to throw yourself too big of a pity party before then.” She waves goodbye as she strides towards the car. You roll your eyes, returning the wave, before starting your brisk walk the few blocks back to the condo.

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Time passes slowly in the new stasis of your life. You take the new opportunity in the wake of your hangout to bury yourself in work and get through some projects that had been building up untouched while you were feeling sorry for yourself. You kept up with regular jogs with Seungcheol, largely at his behest, and they were starting to become an enjoyable break in your days. A way to clear your mind and focus your attention on your body. It also did not escape your notice that the route he was taking you on now steered clear of the street where you had seen Wonwoo a few weeks ago. You use your commitment to the new routine as a silent thank you to him for somehow knowing what you needed when you needed it.

Vernon was becoming a favourite of yours as well. A quiet denizen of the condo; he showed up at random hours, taking a seat near you but not too close, reading through scripts or scrolling on his phone in companionable silence as you worked. It was like living with a cat that took care of itself and had an impressive collection of beanies. 

Mingyu you tried to avoid, for the most part. He still plagued your thoughts on a daily basis, but out of respect for your friends’ concerns you wanted to give this budding infatuation time to settle into shape. To give yourself time to try and figure out what your real feelings on the matter were. You tried to find a delicate balance between roommate and acquaintance, figuring out his general schedule and adjusting your own accordingly so that you weren’t caught in any more awkward situations in the middle of the night or without anyone else around. 

All of these measures were helping to make you feel more at home in the condo. Less like an interloper disrupting their days and more like a part of the makeshift family–even if that part for now was cousin, twice-removed. 

As a result you were spending less time doing your work from the cafe and much more of it huddled over your laptop on the coffee table in the living room. Projects were getting done quicker, though it did mean that you were seeing Seulgi less often. 

“Why aren’t you answering my texts?” Seulgi’s face blinks to life on the screen of your phone as you finally accept her FaceTime call. “Are you still moping?” 

“I’m not moping!” you defend, raising the phone to hide the view of the pajamas you’ve been wearing for the past 24 hours as you were locked in a death-match with an upcoming deadline.

“Well how many more projects do you have left to do before we can go out? It’s been two weeks since I saw you now that you’re actually working from home,” she sighs in exasperation. Judging by the smoked out black liner defining her eyes, she was heading out tonight with or without you anyway. “Yerim is in town and she’s been asking about you.” 

“Yerim? Wait, since when? I thought she was still in England?” you straighten up at the mention of your distant friend’s name.

“She’s back for now to get some visa renewal stuff done,” Seulgi answers, “and we’re going out tonight so you should come if you’re not still buried under a mountain of work.”

You glance at the screen of your laptop, folders stacked on your desktop in a messy landscape of the digital mountain you created for yourself. The thought was tempting but you knew Yerim and you knew what a night out with her always entailed. Read: getting black out drunk in a club and stumbling home at 6:00am the next morning. You had made a lot of progress scaling your workload, but you weren't sure that even without work you would have the energy needed for a night out like that. 

The front door clicks open behind you and you spin your head to spout a quick greeting. Mingyu nods a quick hello, arms loaded with bags of groceries, before disappearing into the kitchen. 

“Who was that?” Seulgi asks, noting the interruption in your conversation.

“Mingyu,” you answer, mindlessly pushing yourself off the ground and bringing her with you as you walk into the kitchen behind him in search of a glass of water. He smiles at you as you enter but says nothing as Seulgi’s voice rings out through your phone.

“Ah,” she smirks, “the one with the nipples?” You roll your eyes at the clear attempt to embarrass you but nod—pointedly ignoring the man in question as he sputters next to you at the comment. You fill a glass with water from the filtered jug in the fridge. “So are you coming tonight or should I tell Yerim you’re too depressed?”

You give it a moment of thought. You haven’t seen Yerim since she moved to the UK in the middle of her third year of university, after the rest of you had already graduated. She sent some odd gifts here and there—chocolate, snacks, a figurine of Shakespeare wearing heart print boxers—but communication had dwindled as you all found your footing in your adult lives, far removed from the heady days of hedonistic college life. 

“Well first of all, don’t tell her I’m depressed, ‘cause I’m not,” you emphasise and Seulgi laughs at the bitter defense, “but I don’t think I can make it tonight. We should make plans for dinner or something before she leaves, though. Something a little more lowkey than the club.” 

“Fine, be boring,” she sighs. “By the way, Yerim brought a friend back with her. He’s apparently cute and not completely useless. She thought you might like to meet him, just as a distraction. Or a rebound that’s not going to jeopardize your living situation. He’s also coming tonight” 

You groan, settling down in a kitchen chair—opposite to the one Mingyu had sat down in with his reheated leftovers. He watches you with mild interest out of the corner of his eye while you try to think of a way to convince Seulgi that you don’t need Yerim’s charity date. “I would, but I already have plans tonight,” you lie, hoping she buys it without question.

“Oh?” she asks, eyes narrowed in cautious suspicion. “Do you have other friends?” 

“Very funny,” you roll your eyes, “but no, actually. It’s just with my roommate.”

“Which one?” she probes, digging you deeper into the grave of your own lie.  

“Oh uh–” you stutter but your eyes flicker above the screen of your phone, locking in on Mingyu’s own wide brown gaze. “Mingyu. We’re going to dinner tonight.”

He opens his mouth to speak, clearly confused by being dragged into your mess, but you shake your head lightly—willing him to just roll with it. He clamps his mouth shut and returns to his bowl of stew. 

“Mingyu?” Her surprise is genuine and you can tell she’s starting to believe you. A flicker of concern shines in her eyes. “Is it like…a date?” 

“No, Seulgi,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger. She was edging dangerously close to that  ‘jeopardizing your living situation’ territory on her own. “It’s just dinner. With a roommate.” 

“Okay,” she drawls, “but if you end up against a wall with his face between your thighs—”

“Goodbye, Seulgi,” you end the call with a panicked stab of your finger and lean back in your chair, eyes shut tight against the rising tide of anxiety. You feel lightheaded. Hopefully Mingyu didn’t catch that last part. 

“Did we—” He clears his throat. His voice, hesitant and low, floating in and dispeling your faint hope that he hadn’t been paying attention. “Did we have plans I forgot about?” 

You want to laugh, he sounds so genuinely worried. It forces a bitter bubble of bile to rise up into your throat. “No,” you shake your head, clearing it with a sip of water. “Don’t worry you don’t have to go out to dinner with me, I just really didn’t want to go out tonight. Yerim is sort of wild sometimes and the thought of meeting some stuffy English guy in a club was making me feel ill.” 

“Oh,” he smiles—also hesitant, but you can see a hint of his canines poking out behind his lips. “Well, glad I could be of service, then.” His smile widens and you can’t help but return it with one of your own. 

“You have been most helpful,” you laugh. “Sorry for using you as a scapegoat. Also sorry about the nipples thing, Seulgi has a selective memory.” 

“I don’t mind,” he shakes his head, the flush of warmth in his skin betrays the hint of embarrassment he’s trying to mask. You smile at the grace he’s giving you in what could have been an exceptionally awkward moment (especially after weeks of avoiding being alone with him) and push your chair back–wooden legs sliding against the tile. You stand up, preparing to turn around and hunker back down in front of your laptop screen, but Mingyu calls out your name before you get the chance. 

“Yeah?” you reply, half-turned towards the living room. 

“If you do,” he pauses, clearing his throat. “If you do want to go out to dinner tonight though…I could do that. I would uh…I’d like that.”

Your eyes trail from his still slightly pink face to his nearly empty bowl of leftovers. “But you already ate?” 

“Yeah,” he laughs, hand rubbing the back of his neck. A gesture so familiar to you from spending so much time with Wonwoo, but it looks different on him. Less like an anxious tick and more like a bashful habit. “I can eat again though,” he drops his hand from his neck and pats his stomach twice, “I’m a bottomless pit.” 

You should say no. You know you should say no. You shouldn’t dig yourself any deeper into this hole than you already have. But looking at him now, eyes so wide and genuine—freely offering you this tether of kindness—you can’t seem to bring yourself to summon up the word.

“Okay,” you reply, deadpan. Numbed with the confusion and surprise of this sudden change of plans so easily agreed to. So easily ruining weeks of careful avoidance and the cooling off of the one-sided tension you felt when you were near him. 

“Great,” he grins, white teeth glistening in the bright lights of the kitchen. “I need to grab a shower first and make a quick call, but how about we head out in an hour? What kind of food are you in the mood for? Do you have any favourite spots?” 

“I uh—” you stammer, unsure of the answer to the posed question. “I’m fine with anything. I don’t go out for dinner a lot so I don’t really know that many restaurants…”

“No problem,” he smiles again, standing up and grabbing his bowl. “I know plenty, I’ll bring you to a good one. Promise.” He winks before turning around to rinse out his dish and your heart skips a beat at the expression. One you would so often find lecherous and off-putting seems somehow so endearing coming from him. You scold your brain for the thought before stalking back to your room to change out of your pajamas and attempt to appear somewhat presentable. 

.

.

.

The lights of the city cast their soft glow over the water of the slow moving river. A hypnotizing dance of yellow and gold against the backdrop of the night sky. It lulls your thoughts–quietens them to a dull roar–as you sit next to Mingyu on a park bench.

You had finished dinner a half hour ago; a mouthwatering feast of flavour grilled by the deft hands of your roommate himself. You watched as he took to the task with an almost reverent disposition—ushering the food through the cycle of cooking as you sat across from him, absorbed in the aroma and savouring each morsel he placed in front of you. 

You had worried that he was going to take you to some uptight, fine dining restaurant where each dish was somehow the size of your pinky finger while costing more than you made in a day (Mingyu did have a vibe of luxury about him); but when he opened the door to the small, hole-in-the-wall barbeque joint in a random side-street you felt the tension in your shoulders ease and you were finally able to let yourself relax. 

He ordered–a generous selection of high-quality but reasonably priced beef–and you sat and ate and talked. It was normal and nice and the old wood-planked walls of the restaurant leant the entire dinner an air of casualness that your anxiety-addled brain desperately needed. Just a nice normal dinner with a roommate who you did not have any romantic attraction to at all.

Conversation continued after dinner ended. He was easy to talk to, easy to listen to, and you lost yourself in it, completely forgetting about your previous plan to avoid him, as he paid the bill. You continued to talk as you left the restaurant, stepped back out onto the street, and as you continued to walk together until you saw the Han River stretching out in front of you. 

You hadn’t been paying attention as you walked–just let your feet move under the vague assumption that you were just heading back home–so reaching the river had come as a surprise. Mingyu’s face remained impassive as he led you past the numerous couples dotting the riverbank, each splayed out on grass and blankets, bathed in the soft amber glow of the city. You followed him for a few hundred feet until he stopped at a small hill and sat down on a bench, draping his arm casually over the back as he leaned against the sun-faded wood.

You hesitate a minute before sitting down. The mirage of purely platonic companionship had dissipated step by step as you followed him downstream, watching the way his jacket moved against his torso–loosely fitted but structured enough to hint at the firmness of his shoulders underneath, swelling as his arms swung idly at his sides. Your mind blaring a fire red warning in Jeonghan’s voice: be careful. Mingyu notices you hesitate and offers a warm smile, just touching at the corners of his eyes. He moves over an inch on the bench to give you more space and your heart takes that moment to consider itself some sort of acrobat in your chest. You silence the warning, washing it out with your own self-soothing lies, before taking a seat next to him and focusing on the night skyline. 

Living in the city always felt isolating. Like the loneliness of existence was only amplified by the millions of other lives that played out parallel to your own. Millions of other people with different thoughts, feelings, and experiences existing right next to yours–there, but never touching. Lines crossing and converging but rarely intertwining for longer than a heartbeat. 

Wonwoo had been an anchor in that sea of loneliness. Something solid to hold onto as you were buffeted by the waves of life. Stabile, grounding. You never realised how much you needed that stability until it was no longer there. Until you were cast adrift once more, alone in the deep blue. 

Seulgi was there of course–as well as your other friends and family–but it wasn’t the same. They were islands of reprieve to visit when needed, and to offer the same when they did, but it wasn’t the same as having that one person to tether yourself to. To merge your life with and create a new island on solid foundations. Unshakeable, until it’s not. 

Maybe you were pathetic, relying on a partner for so much support. Needing someone to rescue you from your own life. Maybe you needed to save yourself for once. 

“Do you ever get the feeling like you’re going to end up dying alone?” you ask the question, half expecting it to dissolve into the air in front of you and go completely unanswered. Unsure if you even want an answer or if you just needed to remove the thought from your mind.

Mingyu scoffs, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he glances at you sideways–evaluating. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem for you.” 

“Oh?” you raise an eyebrow, a twinge of offense scurrying up at the comment. “And what makes you so sure of that?”

“Well, what makes you think you would?” he counters and you let a small laugh slip out at the seriousness of his expression. 

“I don’t know,” you shake your head, dismissing the thought and turning your attention back towards the view. Bitterly regretting altering the mood so seriously. You should have remained flippant, joyous. Unserious. But when did your mouth ever listen to you? “I was just thinking out loud.”

“Oh no you don’t,” he laughs, “you brought it up and now you’re avoiding the question?” You feel the heat of his body warm the air around you as he adjusts on the bench, angling away from the river to better face you and pry the answers free under the weight of his attention.

“You avoided mine!” you bite back in defense, turning in kind to face him, but realising the trap too late as he flashes you a wolfish grin.  

“Ah-ha, so it was a serious question!” he cries, pleased with himself. “Listen if you want my honest answer, I will give it to you but I want an answer in return as well.” 

You hesitate, not for the first time tonight—wavering at the edge of the offer and cursing your propensity for sticking your foot straight into your mouth at the drop of a hat. 

Do you really want to open up to him like this? 

It had been such a nice evening. Good food, good conversation, and a nice walk along the river. It had been a while since you had felt so at ease in someone's company. And yet, despite all of that, you had to go and get lost in your self-sabotaging, meandering thoughts and open your big dumb mouth. Did Mingyu even really want to know? He seemed friendly and open enough but you can’t help but hear Jeonghan’s voice as it bounces off the walls of your mind: ‘Mingyu is not serious’. Did he know what Pandora’s Box he was willingly opening by asking you? Did he care?

You fix your gaze on him, evaluating, searching his eyes for any sign of ambivalence or even trickery. He stares back, waiting patiently for you to mull it over, and you come up with no discernable ulterior motive. Nothing lurking in the clear brown of his eyes other than open curiosity and a slight glimmer of amusement. 

“Ugh, fine,” you relent, falling back against the bench with a huff. You forgot Mingyu’s arm is resting against the back and you feel the pressure of it against you as you settle deeper into the bench. “Why do I think I’m going to die alone…” you repose the question, willfully ignoring the shiver that ripples out from the spot where his arm is pressed against you. You can feel the warmth of it even through your jacket. “Maybe because I’m a bit of an anxious wreck and that can’t be easy to deal with. Or maybe because I’ve managed to fuck up every relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“I don’t think so,” Mingyu replies, assured in his denial of your reasoning. 

You let out a mirthless laugh and glare into the middle distance. “Don’t think so? Don’t think what? That I’m not an anxious wreck? You clearly don’t know me that well.”

“No, I believe that part, though anxiety can be treated to a certain extent. I have this psychologist friend, Minghao, he talks a lot about it. I could get you his number if you want.” he offers and you furrow your brow at the suggestion. 

“You want to set me up with a psychologist?”

He laughs, “not like a date. Like if you wanted to book an appointment to see him about it. You know, like a therapist?” 

“Oh,” you mumble, immediately feeling stupid. “So what did you mean then?”

“Just that it takes two to fuck up a relationship most of the time.  You can’t fuck up something that wasn’t ready to be fucked up, you know? No one is perfect, we all have issues so no relationship is ever perfect and that’s not the fault of just one person.”

“Wow,” you exhale. His words sink in, a stark contrast against the internal monologue of shame and blame you had callously constructed. A differing perspective roaring in to shake your foundations. You try to reckon with it, the thought that it might not be all your fault, and it clamours and clangs against your brain in the worst way. In a way that you know it might be true but you’re not ready to accept it yet. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Mingyu asks, momentarily rendered insecure by your plunge into melancholic silence. 

“No, no,” you assure him, distantly amused by his immediate assumption that it might have been him that did something wrong. “It’s just…” you hesitate, unsure of how to word it. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so insightful.”

He snorts out a laugh, “thanks, I guess. I have my moments.” 

“No, no, I don’t mean that I think you’re like…incapable of insight, just…” you pause, trying to reformulate the thought in a way that doesn’t sound like an insult. “I’m just not used to getting reality checks like that from people I don’t really know that well.”

“Oh, okay,” he laughs again, in relief this time, and you feel the edge of tension you had been holding in your body ebb away. “Well, I mean it though,” he affirms, “I don’t think it means you’re going to die alone.”

“Okay, well,” you sigh, unsure where to follow this new proffered perspective, “thanks, I guess.”

“No problem,” he grins. “Your turn.”

“My turn?” You knit your brows in confusion, eliciting another laugh from your seatmate. “For what?”

“You answered my question, so it’s your turn to ask one,” he explains.

“I didn’t realise we were playing 20 questions,” you tease. The words leave your lips with a little more edge than you had intended and you wince. Why did you always sound so defensive? You glance at Mingyu and feel a slight sense of relief at the fact that he seemed not to have noticed the tone. 

“Well, if you don’t have any questions, I’m fine with being the hot, mysterious one in the house,” he winks and again you find yourself not hating how he looks when he does it. 

Still, you snort derisively in response. If only he knew how deeply not-mysterious he already was to you. “Hardly,” you reply. “Okay, fine. I have a question for you: why does The Notebook make you cry so much?”

Wide-eyed surprise ripples across his face, a tinge of red embarrassment colouring the tips of his ears, “who told you that?” he asks in a nervous half-whisper.

“Jeonghan might have mentioned it when I was moving in…” 

“Traitor,” he seethes, running a hand through his hair as he considers this revelation before answering you. “It’s sad,” he states plainly after a moment’s hesitation and you ‘tsk’, refusing the easy answer. 

“Lots of movies are sad, Mingyu. Why does this one in particular make you cry so much that I was warned never to watch it in the living room?”

He sighs again, heaves his chest in and out like an exasperated dog settling down for bed. You watch as he stares out over the river, wide brown eyes shimmering with the lights of the city, and wait for him to respond. You had never seen Wonwoo cry during a movie. You had barely seen Wonwoo cry at all. He kept his emotions held tight, whether for self-protection or because he really was just that steady you didn’t know, but Mingyu’s upfront expressiveness was a breath of fresh air. Seeing someone so open at every moment with how they were feeling made you feel a little bit less alone with your own rapid shifts in mood. Maybe you weren’t the broken one. 

“Fine,” he relents, “honestly, I know it’s corny. I know it’s a corny movie and it’s lame and dumb that an adult man with a job still bawls like a baby while watching it but I can’t help it. Seeing those two old people dying in bed together after reliving the tale of their love just gets me every single time. It’s a confusing mixture of sadness and hope and I have never been able to get through it without weeping.” 

“Wow,” you remark and he shakes his head. 

“Happy?” he huffs, again with an air of a disgruntled dog and you laugh.

“Very happy, thank you for sharing.” 

“Okay my turn,” he grins, leaning back against the bench once more, the wood groaning slightly under his weight as it shifts. 

“Good luck, movies don’t make me cry often.” 

“Well you’ve gotta have some embarrassing secret. Otherwise we’re on uneven ground, and I don’t like that.” 

“I’ve already told you something embarrassing,” you start to defend yourself but he shakes his head. Resolute. 

“What? About thinking you fuck everything up?” You nod and he laughs, “that’s not embarrassing, that’s normal. Everyone thinks they’re more fucked up than they are.” He shrugs and you again marvel at how casually he accepts the very thing that feels so earth-shaking to you. “Tell me your most embarrassing secret.”

“That’s not a question, it’s a demand.” you point out and he nods, considering the rebuttal. 

“Too broad? Okay, then what’s your favourite song?” 

“How is that supposed to be embarrassing?” you ask, aghast. 

“It’s not, I’m just curious. Not every question needs to be so heavy, you can get to know people through simpler things. Happy things,” he smiles again, coy, and your heart betrays you again with a flutter of wings against your chest. 

“I’m not sure,” you muse. He starts to protest but you cut him off before he can begin, “there are too many songs that I love to feel like I can narrow it down to just one all–time favourite. Too many things to consider.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like, what am I doing when I am listening to it? Is it a song I could listen to anytime, anywhere? Does that make it a favourite or just an easy listen? Is it a song that fills me with a swell of emotions? A favourite from high school that still makes me nostalgic? Or a recent song that I’ve played on repeat too many times to count? You see…too many things to consider.”

“Wow, you’re right,” he laughs again, “you really are an overthinker.” 

“Gee, thanks,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. 

“How about you just make me a playlist with all of the above and we’ll consider it answered?” he winks and you blink back at him, stunned to silence. Wonwoo never really got through the songs you would recommend to him, was Mingyu really going to go to the trouble of listening to an entire playlist? For his roommate? 

“Oh–okay,” you answer, unsure of what else to say. 

Silence descends for a moment, settling comfortably between you, and you glance around in surprise to find that most of the people that had been here when you arrived have since departed. How long had you been sitting on this bench talking?

As if reading your thoughts, Mingyu clears his throat. “It’s getting late,” he feigns a yawn, forearm flexing as he brings his hand up to cover his mouth, “but you have one more question to even it up before we start walking back home.”

You sit still, contemplating. While teasing him had been fun, an overwhelming part of you wants to really get to know him. To know what makes him tick. What thoughts and desires lurk in the depths of those puppy brown eyes. To find out exactly what it was about him that was drawing you in so much despite your (and Seulgi’s and Jeonghan’s) better judgement. 

“What did you want to be when you were a kid?” you ask finally. It feels like a silly question as soon as you ask it but you can’t take it back once it’s been spoken. And you do actually want to know the answer. 

“Is that your final question?” he asks and you hesitate but nod. You’re curious about what kind of kid he was. What his dreams had been before the demands of adulthood had set in. “Alright, but it’s silly,” he warns and you wait silently for his response despite it, “I wanted to own my own bakery.” 

“You wanted to own a bakery?” you parrot the response, surprised by his answer. “Really?” 

“I told you it was silly,” he smiles, voice a slight quiver. You hadn’t expected the answer, true, but it’s the nervousness around it that is really taking you by surprise. Like it’s kid Mingyu answering the question and not the 20-something year old adult you had bought you dinner. 

“No, no, it’s not silly, I just didn’t expect it,” you reassure him and the expression of embarrassment on his face melts back into neutrality. The wave of nerves slipping away into the ether. “Why didn’t you do it?” 

He shrugs, “my parents didn’t think it was a suitable career path for someone like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You bristle, feeling defensive on behalf of the kid he once was. 

“I never asked for clarification,” he laughs. “Just went to school for business like they suggested. Jokes on them, though, I can still make a mean sourdough.” 

“What can’t you do?” you mumble, intending the comment to be unheard but clearly failing as Mingyu throws his head back with a laugh before getting to his feet. 

“Well, what about you?” he asks as you join him and you both head back down the path towards the main road. “What was your childhood dream?”

“I always wanted to be an artist,” you say, “and I sort of am doing that now just in a more corporate-friendly way. Career was the one aspect of life that I always felt I had a handle on. There was no guesswork. It was just me involved.” 

“Your parents didn’t have any different thoughts as to what they wanted you to do?” he asks, a slight note of surprise colouring his voice. 

“Not really, no,” you shrug, “they were pretty supportive, honestly. I think the only things they really cared about was that I got an education and was able to pay for rent and food.” 

“That’s lucky, it’s nice to have such supportive parents.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” you nod. It had never been something you had actively thought about, just taken for granted and assumed it was sort of the same for everyone. You make a mental note to call your parents soon and catch up as you and Mingyu leave the park and the river disappears behind you. 

“Would you ever bake something for me?” you ask, matching Mingyu’s stride as you take a turn down the block towards home. 

“That depends,” he replies, amusement clear in his voice.

“On what?” 

“On whether or not you want to hang out again in the future,” he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. You see a hint of blush reddening the tips of his ears again and it makes you wonder. Was it just the slight chill in the air causing it?

“Well, we do live together so I think that’s almost inevitable,” you laugh, trying to brush the niggling feeling off with an assurance that you did not feel. 

“True,” he concedes, “then I guess I will. Are you more of a sweet or savory person?” 

“That depends,” you reply, a small grin turning up the corners of your lips. 

“Overthinking pastries now too?” 

“No,” you laugh, all lingering feelings of defensiveness gone from you. “It depends on what you’re better at making.” 

“Oh, I’m good at it all,” he replies, voice smooth–silk slipping over mahogany–as he holds open the door to the condo complex for you. You glance at him, eyes meeting his in the dim light of the lobby, and study him for a moment. He’s smiling, cool and casual, but there’s a seriousness hiding in the depths of his expression that you can’t quite unravel. It draws you in, curiouser and curiouser, until you find yourself face to face with a crossroads. Two paths diverge in the yellow woods of your mind and the only thing that remains is to choose.  

“Then I’ll take it all,” you reply after a breath, thoughts slipping into place. Threshold crossed, decision made. You step into the lobby and head towards the elevator leaving Mingyu to trail behind. 

.

.

.

The condo is blessedly quiet when you arrive upstairs; everyone else scattered throughout the city with Friday night plans. The absence of Jeonghan in particular is a relief, you knew that no matter what the context was, if he saw you return with Mingyu at this time of night you would be primed for some form of lecture or another. Whether verbal or simply that knowing stare he likes to give you when he thinks you’re being stupid.

That silent cloud of judgement would have been especially intrusive tonight as you step in through the front door barely clinging onto the tenuous air of bravado you had conjured up in the lobby downstairs. It would have shaken your resolve to follow this thought of intrigue towards Mingyu and thrust you right back into your torrential thoughts once more, spinning haphazardly between mourning over what was lost and what might not ever be.  

Instead you stand with shaky confidence and a pounding in your chest as you bid Mingyu goodnight, savouring that look of intrigue you’re sure is mirrored in his own expression as you close your bedroom door for the night and bar any doubt from creeping in behind you. 

You listen through the walls as his own door clicks shut before rummaging through the unpacked duffel bag in the corner of your room. You dig through unsorted paperwork, unopened mail, random knick knacks you had found no home for yet until your fingers grasp the object you were seeking.

Sleek, black silicone emerges from the bag and you glance behind you as if Mingyu might be standing there, ready to chastise you for your impure thoughts. 

You stand up, hesitating, evaluating the vibrator as it sits like a brick in your palm. You had only used it once, years ago, after buying it at a convention with Seulgi before it ended up buried deep in the recesses of your drawer. At the time your sex life had been consistent and satisfying–it was early days for you and Wonwoo and the excitement and novelty of having each other at your fingertips for the whims of the moment had kept you too busy to even remember that you had the toy stored away in the first place. It wasn’t until you were packing to move out that you rediscovered it.

You hesitate for a second before thinking ‘fuck it, I paid like $200 for this, I’m gonna get some use out of it’ and slipping out of your clothes and into your bed. 

You try to set the mood in your mind, fingers swirling idly over your bare skin as you flip through mental images of celebrities, movie scenes, fantasies that you used to use to get in the mood. Anything to deepen that pressure that burned quietly inside of you. None of your old tricks produce results and you sigh, ready to give up on the activity completely, before you feel the distinct thud of Mingyu’s headboard against the wall. 

You imagine Mingyu: what is he doing? Maybe sitting on the edge of his bed, scrolling through Instagram, or maybe he’s under his covers too. Maybe he’s having the same thoughts as you? 

You follow this thought where it takes you, back to that night the other week. Back to the low sound of his moaning carried through the drywall and plaster, the thudding of his headboard against your wall, back to that yawning pit in your stomach that felt like it might swallow you whole at any second. Your hand traces the path of the scene playing out in your mind, blazing a trail down your chest, stomach, and finally to the aching space between your thighs. 

You recall the weight of Mingyu’s arm pressed against your back on the park bench–steady and solid. The sound of his voice and laughter muffling your gasp of surprise as you flick the vibrator on and jump at the sudden noise filling your room. 

You flick it back off immediately, worrying that the distinctive buzzing sound would carry itself through the cover of your blankets and body and make it through the proven-thin walls towards Mingyu’s ears. He would know for sure you were in here thinking about him, fantasizing about his lips on your neck. The thought of discovery adds a confusing stab of guilt to the knotting in your guts but you do your best to squash it as it pops up. What exactly were you doing wrong? You were tired of denying yourself pleasure out of fear of other people’s judgements or shame. You flick the vibrator back on, this time prepared for the noise, and dig the object deeper between your thighs. 

Maybe part of you wants him to hear you–wants him to know what you were doing alone in the dark in the bedroom next to him. Maybe, in this alternative timeline, he knocks softly on your door. His brown eyes rake over your naked body, bared to him like a gift prepared just for him. His sweatpants strain with the pressure of his bulge as his blood travels lower, and lower. Filling him with the desire as it fills you now. He steps forward, wavering at the threshold of your bed and asks, voice so low it plucks at the strings of your core, to join you. To help you release this coil of tension that had made its home inside of you, growing bigger and hungrier every single day since running into him half-naked in the kitchen that first night. Maybe he’s been running through this same scenario every night before bed, hand gripping his cock as it pulses in his hand, sweat beading his brow. 

Alternative timeline or not, the thought itself is all that you need to push you over the edge as you move the vibrator against your clit, finding the right rhythm of pressure, the right balance of relief, to feed the beast of desire crying open-mouthed inside of you. To have your legs shaking and your core pulsing with waves of pleasure no longer denied. You cry out, muffling the sound with the back of your free hand, and for the first time in years it isn't Wonwoo's face clear in your mind as you reach your climax.

© 2024, neoneun-au. all rights reserved.

―AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cant link them here, but please find the series masterlist and other chapters on my blog. i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far !

#caratlibrary #svthub #mingyu x reader #wonwoo x reader #mingyu smut #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #mingyu angst #wonwoo angst #seventeen fluff #svt x reader #chm updates

[dgmovies]

Lee Minho: Recommendations Masterlist

✨Welcome to my world✨

Here are some fics I've collected of STRAY KIDS Lee Minho. I have a few more saved up, so I will be adding those in the future. Enjoy :) Idk if all the links work. Some works may have been deleted already. Also, some info might be missing. *Disclaimer: English is not my first language.*

Tags: © = My personal favorite, F = Fluff, A = Angst, S = Smut

*Updated: 28-01-2023*

ONE SHOTS:

Bunny - @tasteleeknow-remade (F, S) *recently added*

Status: Completed + part 2

Word Count: 7.2k + 5.4k = 12.6k

Summary: After leaving your toxic relationship, you and your bunny are completely alone in the world—until your soft spoken neighbour slowly brings down your walls. (Neighbours!AU, S2L!AU)

Company (Ft. Changbin) - @btssmutgalore (S)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 15.3k

Summary: You’re sick and tired of living the good girl life. In other words, you just want to get laid, and who better to help than your two best friends? (Non-idol!AU, F2L!AU)

Conflict, Conceal, Confess - @fizzydrink698 (©, S, F) *recently added*

Status: Completed + Series (ongoing)

Word Count: 18.1k

Summary: E2L!AU, College!AU, ModernConsort!AU (series)

Enough For You - @jiminbbyboy (©, S, A, F)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 6.4k

Summary: Your mother ask for Minho to be your date to a charity event and you get to spend a lot of time talking about the past and the what they want in the future. (RichBoy!AU)

Euphoria - @cherrydumpling (S, F, A)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 23.2k

Summary: Minho and you definitely do not like each other. No matter what the tabloids say. He’s your friend who argues and bickers like no other but you also crave the taste of him on your tongue. You are people who sling insults at each other from your respective stages, only to find him later painting your skin with sloppy kisses. And that's something you need to work on. (Actors!AU, FWB2L!AU)

Evil Roommate - @ch4nb4ng (S, F)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 6.2k

Summary: The new roommate was a handful. lazy, disrespectful, arrogant, and a whole bunch of other negative things. but wow, you were sexually frustrated and he, well, attractive, was an understatement (E2L!AU, Roommate!Minho)

Horizontal Hierarchy - @cb97percent (S)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 10.3k

Summary: You've been having a great time at the media agency you work at as a screenwriter by pledging allegiance to no oen other than yourself. Your entire chilling privileges get taken away from you when you're assigned under the direct supervision of Lee Minho, the new devision head who is ridiculously hot albeit massively insufferable. (Office!AU, Supervisor!Minho)

It's Cold Outside, Come To Me - @etherealinowrites (A, F, S)

Status: Completed + part 2

Word Count: 7.8k + 2k = 9.8k

Summary: It was the christmas season once again which meant two weeks away at your family’s vacation house. The only problem? Lee Minho. Your brothers annoying best friend who was joining you this time. Whats worse? You both hate each others guts more than anything. You could only hope for a christmas miracle. Oh it didn’t help that you found him hot. (E2L!AU, ChildhoodFriendsToLovers!AU)

It's High Tide, Baby - @lettersfromaphrodite (©, A, F, S) *recently added*

Status: Completed

Word Count: 23k

Summary: Pirate!Au, E2L!AU, Soulmate!AU, Magic!AU

Kiss Me More - @angelwonie (©, S, F) *recently added*

Status: Completed

Word Count: 13.2k

Summary: He's your brother's best friend, and that should be enough to keep him off limits. But he's just a little too handsome, and you're just a little in too deep. (Brother'sBestFriend!Minho)

Sleeping Beauty - @j-0ne25 (A, F, S) *recently added*

Status: Completed

Word Count: 6k

Summary: Counting down the days to your arranged wedding, your best friend helps you get your mind off of the future you’ve never wanted – unaware there’s another curse put on you, just a matter of time until it breaks free. (FairyTale!Au, Prince!Minho, Princess!Reader, BestFriend!Minho)

Pas de Bourrée - @jisungnaur (A, S, F)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 24k

Summary: And in the end, they were only atoms, drifting alone- desperate for something to cling on to as they sat hand in hand while the stars went out. it was beautiful, how angelic he was. he had the most breathtaking laugh that every time he cut himself, an angel got their wings (Dancer!Au, E2L!AU)

Pudding - @cb97percent (S, F)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 7.4k

Summary: The declaration that Minho was a virgin until your night together drills a hole in your head. It can't possibly be true because who the hell fucks like that with no prior experience? (College!AU)

Teach me to reach you - @hynjnhwng (S)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 2k

Summary: Lee know x reader x I.N.

When he sees me - @candlewaxandp0lar0ids (S, F, A)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 13.3k

Summary: Interacting with others has never been easy for you, whether it is talking to them or, worse, flirting with them. As a result, relationships, but also any form of sexual interactions have always eluded you. You had no reason to think that was going to change anytime soon. And then your hot neighbor’s cat shows up in your apartment, and you think that things just might change. Even if it’s only on one front. (Neighbours!AU)

Wrapped Up - @joyfulhopelox (©, S, F)

Status: Completed

Word Count: 12.4k

Summary: The dance soc is not the place to flirt but you promised yourself you’d try new things this year, and when the boy wearing the colourful cosy sweater approaches you with a compliment you can’t resist but respond to him. (College!AU, F2L!AU)

SERIES:

Consort – @fizzydrink698 (©, A, S)

Status: 5/? Chapters (Ongoing) + Spin-off *recently added*

Word Count: ? (5 Chapters)

Summary: … (ArrangedMarriage!AU, Historical!AU, E2L!AU)

Cupid's Christmas – @btssmutgalore (©, A, F, S)

Status: 4 Chapters (Completed)

Word Count: 61.8k (4 Chapters)

Summary: Your friend creates the perfect blind texting event for all her single friends, including you. While you're texting a person who seems to be perfect for you, you start interacting with your college arch-nemesis, Lee Minho, a lot more.

Wedding Season – @ballelino (©, S, A, F) *recently added*

Status: Intro + 9 Chapters (Completed)

Word Count: 79.3k (Intro + 9 Chapters)

Summary: This wedding season, you're invited to the wedding of the one that got away. You have one chance to win Chris over or watch him be someone else’s forever. Therefore, you need a master plan, which includes your insanely attractive (and mildly annoying) ex-boyfriend that Chris always hated—Lee Minho. (FakeDating!Au, Exes2L!AU)

#straykids smut #masterlist #fic recommendation #leeknow smut #stray kids smut #lee minho smut #minho smut #skz smut #fic recs

[mathiwrites]

Day 5, Prompt 1 of @tamlinweek: Shapeshifter

Notes: I've already written a couple of Shapeshifter-Faerie Tamlin scenes, so I wanted to see if I could put a twist to the prompt. So, welcome to Pacific Rim!AU ACOTAR. This fic is ongoing and multi-ship.

I'll probably put the masquerade prompt in this fic, too. Trust the process 👌

Read Courting the Apocalypse on AO3 or below the cut.

THE FIRST ATTACK

They came out of nowhere—somewhere deep in the sea, a place no one could follow.

The first attack happened in Australia, on the coast, and before long the massive creature was dragging itself into the city, destroying the lives of thousands. It had taken five days for the air force to take it down, in tandem with the military, and any other goddamn fighting force at our disposal. But the damage was done.

We called these creatures kaiju.

And that first guy? That first big, ugly, fucker? We called him Hybern—a level one kaiju that came back after the winter. We thought we had him, but whatever death we saw was a retreat. He waited, recuperated and hibernated until it popped up on our sensors again.

After the first attack, we knew we needed to change. We need to get bigger, faster, stronger. We needed to defy what we were in physicality by using what set us apart as the dominant species of this planet—our brilliance. We were no longer at the top of the food chain, but not for long.

And that is how the Jaeger program was born.

Giant mech suits that allowed us to change our shape and meet those things on a level playing field. We were knights—fuck, we were goddamn superheroes. We were anything but helpless little humans once the world came together and started sharing all their innovations, coming together against a single enemy. We could be whatever we wanted, fight in whatever way felt right. Plasma guns? Check. Swords? Check. Rocket launchers? Hell yeah.

But it wasn’t always good, and it wasn’t always shit.

My father was a part of the initial Jaeger Program, and he was the commander of Western Shatterdome of the Pan-Pacific Defense Force. My brothers were rockstars. They were the first dual pilot-team—the first soldiers who were able to set aside their hangups, their wants and needs, and blend into one another as one. They became our cause, and they became everything we needed.

Until me and my co-pilot killed them.

PRESENT DAY

“You need a new partner.”

“No.”

“Tam, will you slow down.”

“No.”

The auburn-haired soldier jogs beside his friend until he can stand his way; he can barely get Tamlin to stop, and much less look at him. A thick white bandage covers his eye, and Lucien knows that’s exactly why his friend won’t look at him. He sighs, trying to catch his gaze.

“It wasn’t your fault. None of it was. Not this, not what happened back then. If that’s what’s stopping you—”

“It’s not.” Tamlin snaps, looking at the metal walls of the hallway. The shatterdome isn’t made for comfort, it’s cold, utilitarian efficiency. Right now, it’s a lot more comforting than the warmth (and forgiveness) Lucien is offering him. “I’m done.”

After two partners, both of which that ended in some kind of tragedy, Tamlin gets the message. He’s not made for this fucking life. He can’t keep his partner safe, and he sure as hell can’t help his other teammates. What? Lucien doesn’t think he knows what they say about him? The PPDC are a superstitious bunch; the rangers have their rituals, and he wouldn’t be surprised that on their next deployment, if they manage to coerce him to get into one of those godforsaken machines again, they’d steer clear of him. Bad luck is contagious.

“Just go see. Andras found her manning an abandoned model two alone. Do you know how insane that is? Do you know who the only other pilot is who did that successfully? Will you,” Lucien snaps, grabbing Tamlin’s face to look at him. “It’s not your fault. I’ve been in your head. I know that you’re beating yourself up over guilt that doesn’t belong to you. I knew what I was in for signing up for this shit.”

His amber eyes search Tamlin’s emerald ones, finding all the grief he wishes wasn’t there. Lucien sighs, shoulders slouching.

He remembers the first time he jumped into Tamlin’s head—the fear and the anger had been so overwhelming. More importantly, the desperate cry to keep others out of his head was deafening. Lucien wonders if he’s the one that’s in the wrong, if he’s asking Tamlin to sacrifice himself for ‘the cause’.

“There’s so few of us left,” he says softly. Pilot compatibility has dropped over the years. Hell, there isn’t even enough people to test. The war against these monsters has worn hope down. “Someone has to believe in the PPDC. If it could be me, you know I’d free you.”

“If it’s not you, I’m not doing it,” Tamlin says softly. “We are one.” He shaped himself to Lucien—he slotted himself against his heart and mind. To abandon Lucien is to abandon a part of himself. It has to be him.

But it can’t. The second Lucien steps into the Drift, he’ll rob both of them of their left peripheral view. He knows they could adapt; he knows that Tamlin is so damn stubborn, he’d give Lucien his sight back like a healing, avenging angel. Pair that weight along with the responsibility Tamlin feels for Lucien, he’d be taking too much of the mental load. It’s a risk that he can’t take.

Lucien pulls Tamlin close, pressing their forehads together. “Just because I’m not in there with you, doesn’t mean I won’t be there with you.”

Tamlin eases at his touch, and listens. He closes his eyes, latching onto that familiar voice that’s lived in his mind for years.

“I’ve asked for a transfer to LOCCENT. I might not be in your head, but I’ll be in your ear.” Lucien grins.

“What?" You’ve been planning this the whole time?”

“Yeah? Do I look like a quitter to you?”

No, Lucien doesn’t quit. Lucien is a fighter, through and through. To think, they’d sold Lucien to Tamlin as the failure of a legacy family, just like he was. To think, they’d made the best team—brain and brawn.

“Fine, I’ll go see her.”

“Good man,” Lucien pats Tamlin’s cheek, affectionately. His smile falters, as his hand slips to Tamlin’s shoulder. “I need you to know. He’ll be there. He’s still looking for a partner.”

Well, fuck.

#tamlin week #tamlin #pro tamlin #pacific rim au #polyamory #multiple ships #rhysand #lucien #feyre #tamsand #tamcien #feylin #tamlin x rhysand #tamlin x lucien #tamlin x feyre

[marriiemeii]

Circles Chapter 2

jeonghan x oc x seungcheol

status: ongoing genre: drama fluff, angst, professor au, romance, comedy warnings: death of a loved one

synopsis: Faye has always been more focused on her career than her social life. When she meets two new customers at her cafe, her once solitary life begins to change.

chapter list

previous chapter || next chapter

Faye went home after bidding goodbye to Seungcheol and Jeonghan but before that, the two had been insisting on walking her home or calling her a taxi to make sure she arrives home safe, which she exasperatedly mentioned to them that she had walked home alone plenty of times before she knew them.

Seungcheol responded to her comment by saying that was in the past. Now that they do know her, they were worried about their new friend and wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be in danger. She gave in to their request by allowing them to call her a taxi, because two strangers, in her eyes, walking her home just didn’t sound too good. Even if they were really handsome, Faye had at least some self-restraint.

When she arrived home, the moment she was through the front door and closed it she let out a massive sigh of relief. Ever since she sat with them she’s been feeling a bit uneasy. However, now that she’s in the comfort of her safe space, she feels like her social battery is being recharged already.

Faye walked through the hall in front of her front door that led to the center of the living room with the kitchen and guest bathroom to the left and her bedroom and laundry room to the left. Faye turned to the right and headed straight to the kitchen. She grabbed a food prep container from the fridge and took off the cover before putting it in the microwave. While waiting for her food to finish warming up, she grabbed her laptop on the counter and video-called her best friend, Rian.

Rian’s face showed on the screen with her daughter, Aleah, on her lap as she sat at the dining table of her house. When she noticed she was connected, she waved at the screen excitedly before telling her daughter to look at the screen. Aleah looks up at the computer screen before wiggling around in excitement.

“Auntie Faye! Auntie Faye!” Aleah starts trying to get up and get closer to the screen. I laugh as Rian struggles to hold on to her daughter so she doesn’t fall down.

“Hi Leah~ how are you? Your mom said you were sick?” I asked the excited 4 year-old. She starts pouting as she starts telling that she was ok but she got her mom sick after. I listened to her enjoying her exaggerated storytelling.  As she finished telling me all about her getting sick, her mom suggested that she should go to her dad and ask if he needs helps with cooking. Aleah agrees before waddling off in pursuit of her dad. Rian watches her as she goes to make sure she’s ok before turning back to the screen.

“Soo, how are you?” Rian inquires, leaning on the dining table excited just like her daughter to hear from me. I chuckle and shake my head as I see where Aleah gets a lot of her personality from.

“Even though I know you gave birth to Aleah, it’s crazy how much personality she takes after you,” I noted. When the microwave beeps, I get up to grab my food and I hear Rian calling after me to get back here and to explain myself. She’s always so excited whenever we have our little update sessions. I tell her to calm down and that I’m just grabbing my food.

“Work is pretty normal y’know?” I try to dismiss the topic. Immediately after I hear noises of disagreement coming from her so I look at the computer screen and see she’s frowning at the camera, showing her discontent and skepticism with my answer.

“You talked with my mom didn’t you,” I stated. She starts nodding her head rapidly and a wide grin appears on her face. I sigh to myself before sitting at the counter again and prepare myself for all her questions.

“She said there were two handsome male customers~” She beams at me. I could hear a faint voice calling after Rian asking who’s handsome. I smile a bit knowing that it was just her husband teasing her. Rian splutters and starts explaining it was my mom’s words not her.

“Anyways, so did they come back to the cafe? Are you finally going to date?” Her questions come at me rapidly one after another about me and my love life. I bring my hands in front of me as I start shaking my head at her.

“No, no, no, no. I barely know them and it’s kind of weird that they talked to me in the first place,” I asserted. She lets out an exasperated sigh and her head drops on to her arms. 

“But Faaaye~ you could at least make friends with them,” She pouts.

“If it makes you feel better I told them I would talk with them tomorrow after work.”

She perks up in her seat. “You should have said so in the first place!”

“You ShOulD HavE SaID sO in ThE FiRSt plAcE,” I mocked her. Her mouth drops open in shock.

“HEY! Don’t mock me!” She protested. I laugh at her expression.

“I’m kidding~” I joke with her as she crosses her arm with a pout on her face. She grumbled a little bit but the microphone wasn’t able to pick up what she was saying. She stops frowning before looking a bit more serious.

“Y’know, I’m proud of you right?” She trailed off. My eyebrows furrow a little, kind of confused with where she was going with this.

“You opened the cafe that the both of you wanted for so long already. You’ve accomplished a lot on your own… Not only am I proud, but she would be too, y’know?” She started. “You can slow down now and start thinking about yourself and your life. AND I don’t mean your career because you have that down already.”

I look down at my food and start pushing it around rather than eating it, thinking about what she was saying. It was true that I didn’t really think about my life except my career. Drowning myself into work so I wouldn’t have to think about the past or more specifically, Flora. Doing the things we planned together so that it seemed like it was ok that I was here and she wasn’t.

“I know that you feel like you have to do the things that you guys wanted to do together but you should also live for yourself, and I haven’t seen you do that since before the accident,” Rian hesitated. “So, you telling me that you’ll talk to them tomorrow, it really does make me happy.”

I stop playing with my food and look up at the screen to see her facial expression. She was leaning her head on one arm with a soft smile on her face. It was times like these that I realized how much she has changed from when I first met her in high school. She was no longer the wild party girl that sat next to me in my class and instead this loving and caring mother to all. I softly sigh and smile a bit at her.

“Aww~ there’s my pretty best friend,” She teases. I scrunch my face at her and stick my tongue out at her. She giggles a bit at my reaction. “But seriously, I think you should make friends with them at the VERY least, if you don’t wanna date them. Broaden your friendships and social circles.”

I nod my head at her before agreeing that I would try when I talk and hangout with them tomorrow. Rian then teases me by saying, “If all else fails, I could try setting you up with Mingyu again. We all know how much Rhea loves you~”

We burst out into laughter thinking about Mingyu’s daughter, Rhea, and how she would call me Mama when she first started talking. I was always helping out with taking care of Aleah and Rhea when they were growing up and their parents were always busy. She must’ve learned the word from Aleah. When Mingyu found out about her calling me Mama, he bursted out in apologies and told me that he’ll get her to stop.

“I’m so sorry, Faye! I don’t know how long she’s been calling you that but I promise I’ll get her to stop.” Mingyu apologized with his head lowered like a puppy. He really is a giant puppy with those puppy eyes he’s directing at me.

I shake my head as I chuckle at him, patting his shoulder. “It’s fine, I’m in her life a lot so it’s no wonder why she thinks I might be her mom. When she’s old enough to understand, we’ll explain that even if she views me as a mom, we’re not together.”

He nods kind of sadly. I feel a bit bad because I know Rian had wanted to try setting us up together, but I just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I felt like it wouldn’t be fair to Mingyu to try dating him when I wouldn’t be able to put the time and effort into the relationship, because I was focused on starting my cafe.

“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward for us?” He hesitates. I smiled at him, happy that he was hoping the same as me. He was a really great friend that I hoped I wouldn’t lose.

“Of course not! And of course, I’ll still help with taking care of Rhea, she’s such a sweetheart.”

“How are they doing by the way?” I asked her, knowing that Mingyu and her husband talked everyday. 

“They’re doing great, Rhea got student of the month actually. I met her kindergarten teacher because that’s where Aleah will be attending next year. And she’s so nice and surprisingly really young. All the students love her,” Rian rambles on about all the things she heard about Mingyu and Rhea. “Actually Mingyu wanted to have a get together soon, when me and Aleah aren’t contagious anymore. He wanted me to tell you to come and he made me do it because he knows I’ll be forcing you to come and socialize with us.”

Of course they all knew me so well that I’d find a reason to wiggle out of the event. Since it seemed that I wouldn’t be getting out of it I agreed to going. It’d be nice to see how much Rhea has grown and see how Mingyu’s been doing. I asked Rian to send me all the details for the event.

“Rian, dinners ready,” I heard a voice call out from the kitchen. I see a tall figure approaching from behind Rian and she looks back and waves him over.

“Wonwoo! Say hi to Faye!” She calls out to him. The figure gets closer and I see Wonwoo with a black apron on with two plates in his hand. He bends down and I see his face appear on the screen.

“Hey Faye, hope you’re doing well. You better come to the get together,” He says, with his slightly monotone and low voice. Rian starts laughing at the way he greeted me.

“I already told Rian I would,” I huffed at the two. They both start smiling at my reaction to their teasing.

“Good, I’m excited to hear about if you’ll finally start dating. Bring them with you so I can pick which one you’ll date,” He states. My mouth drops in shock that he wasn’t even asking and rather stated that I’m bringing them AND he gets to choose who I date. 

“HEY, why do you get to choose who she dates? She’s MY best friend,” Rian complains at Wonwoo, hitting his back slightly. Wonwoo puts down one plate in front of her and then uses his free arm to push her head out of the frame and sits on her.

“So, bring your boyfriends and me AND Mingyu will choose who’s the better choice,” Wonwoo talks over Rian as she starts complaining and tries pushing the taller and heavier man off of her. “AND if none of them are good enough for you, you’re going on a date with Mingyu again.”

“I AGREE but I should be the one to say it, not you!” I hear Rian shout from behind him. Wonwoo continues to ignore her, just sitting on her, until the both of them hear a tiny voice.

“Daddy, why you sit on Mommy?” Aleah’s voice carries through the mic. Wonwoo reaches down and grabs her, setting her on his lap.

“See Leah, now we’re all on Mommy’s lap. Isn’t it so fun?” Wonwoo asks her. Aleah giggles and nods her head, exclaiming that she’s having fun.

“Alright, fun times over. It’s time to eat dinner now,” Rian states. It was fun watching the family of three interact. I watched as Aleah complained and whined that she wasn’t hungry and wanted to keep playing. Wonwoo finally got off of Rian with Aleah in his arms as he went off to set her on her booster seat.

“It was nice catching up with you,” Rian started. “Next time we catch up hopefully it’ll be in person and none of us are sick this time.”

I agreed with her and we said our goodbyes. Once the call ended, it was silent in the apartment, except for the faint noise of the A/C running. I got up from the counter to go put my dishes away in the sink and wash them. I thought back to our conversation on the computer. Would Flora be proud of all that I’ve done since she’s been gone? I haven’t done much except focusing on getting the cafe of our dreams to become true. Would she have been upset that I didn’t put much effort into gaining friends or a relationship?

As I finished washing and cleaning up, I headed over to my room and into my closet to grab a box on the top shelf. The box was full of high school and college memories. Pictures and small trinkets filled the box to the brim. I dug into the box to find a specific picture from college. When I finally found it I held it up to the light.

It was a picture of me, Flora, Wonwoo, Rian when she was pregnant, Mingyu and Rhea when she was still a baby less than a year old. You could see that Rian had a tiny baby bump since she was still in her second trimester. Rian was in the center with me on her left side and Flora on her right side. Rhea was in my arms and the guys were behind us. We all had big smiles on our faces. It was one of the happiest times in our lives.

We were all so excited when Rian was pregnant even though it was an accident. Wonwoo and Rian were so worried about being parents while still in college but with the help of Mingyu, Flora, and I, we managed to calm their worries and help them get through with it. Especially since Mingyu was already a single parent in college. He managed to help them the most.

The longer I stared at the photo the more I thought of how Flora would be if she were here now. Would she already be a parent? Would she still have been in a relationship with Joshua? I was slowly spiraling into all the “what ifs.” I shook my head and tried not to think of all the possibilities because it would do nothing except make me feel guilty for being here instead of her. I huff to myself and think that my therapist would be proud that I was able to stop my overthinking. I start putting everything in the box except for the photo and dig around for a spare photo frame to put the photo in it.

I get up out of the closet and set the photo on my nightstand, hoping that this will be the start of my actual healing. I hope I’m ready to open myself up to new people again and maybe Flora will be watching over me proudly.

****

The next day at work seemed to drag on as I started to feel anxious about hanging out with basically strangers. I tried keeping my focus on my work whether it was making sure that inventory was correct, deliveries were being scheduled on time, or even helping out the baristas and bakers, but somehow the two handsome men wouldn’t leave my mind. So many possible scenarios came to mind but I would never really know what to prepare for. So the moment it was time for me to leave work, I was a shaking mess.

Even one of the employees, Mira, had noticed and asked if I was alright. To which, I responded that I was alright, just a little off today. She wished me the best of luck as I was heading out. I stepped out of the back and headed to the front of the cafe. I noticed that Seungcheol and Jeonghan weren’t inside the cafe, so I headed to the outside tables.

I looked around for the two but only saw one of them, Seungcheol. He was sitting at one of the outside tables and was looking down at his phone. I walked over to him and as he heard my footsteps, he looked up.

He was wearing a black leather bomber jacket with a black shirt underneath and black pants. It actually made me wonder if he would be alright in the sun because he was wearing an awful lot of black. He stood up and went over to the seat I was heading to before grabbing it and pulling it back for me to sit on it. I sat down and he scooted my chair in towards the table, before going back to his seat.

“So, Jeonghan isn’t going to be coming today. He said he forgot that he has something to do,” Seungcheol explains, once he settled down. I nod my head at him. “Did you still want to just hangout? We could reschedule if you want to?”

I thought about it, maybe we could reschedule but then all that worrying and anxiety would be for nothing and that would suck. So instead of agreeing to reschedule, I shook my head, which seemed to surprise him slightly. “I’m fine with just hanging out with you.”

After I said that, his eyes lowered a bit and he ended up scratching the back of his neck a little embarrassed. I wondered why he seemed a little bashful after saying that until I realized that what I said could be taken in a different way. I honestly would like to bash my head in with a brick after realizing.

“If you’re ok with it just being us then I am too,” He smiles at me slightly, showing a little bit of his dimples. I had the urge to just poke them but I brushed away my intrusive thoughts. “Do you have anything in mind or anything you wanna do?”

I hummed to myself as I thought about what we could do, but nothing was really coming to mind. I shrugged my shoulders at him. He frowns slightly and tries thinking of something that they could do together.

“How about we go to the outlet and just walk around?” He suggests. I nod my head and agree with him that we could do that.

“Would we just catch the next bus to get there?” I wondered. The next bus would be here in about 20 minutes, so it wouldn’t be that long of a wait.

He shakes his head before taking something out of his pocket. He brings out car keys and shakes it in front a bit. “We can just take my car.”

I stare at his keys and feel my heart skip a beat a bit. I do my best to keep my breath even once it starts feeling like it’s getting harder to breathe. It’s just a short 10 minute drive. It’ll be fine, I’LL be fine. It’s been years already and I’ve been on buses plenty of times. Nothing has ever happened all these years.

I nod my head and try my best to smile at him, hoping that he falls for the fake smile. He looks at me and doesn’t seem to notice it much or he just didn’t want to say anything. Either way he started getting ready to get up and I did the same. He walked in front first to lead me to where he had parked which was closer to the university. 

Since it was a weekday, there were plenty of students wandering around, unluckily for me. I could tell that some of the students were looking at us as we walked together quietly. It was a little unnerving having this attention and Seungcheol ended up noticing.

“Just ignore them. It’s what Jeonghan and I do all the time,” Seungcheol whispered softly. I almost didn’t catch what he said, had I not been standing next to him. I looked up at him and saw he was still looking forward until he felt my eyes on him. He turned his head to look at me before giving a small reassuring smile. I return his smile and face forward again, feeling slightly better with the reassurance.

We eventually reached his car which was parked by one of the restaurants right by the university. He unlocked the car with the button on his keys before walking over to the passenger side and opening the door for me.

“You don’t have to do that, y’know?” I tell him, as I enter the car and look up at him. He watches to make sure I’m in the car completely.

“Yeah, but I was taught to help others,” He shrugs it off. It was interesting to see someone who has very polite manners, holding the door open, pushing the chair in, and other small things I noticed that he does.

He closes the door before jogging over to the driver’s side of the car and getting in. We both put our seat belts on and he checks to make sure I’m good before turning on the car and starting to head over to the outlets.

The car ride was silent except for the sounds of the radio playing music quietly. I didn’t want to try speaking in fear that he’d notice that I was slightly shaking. I was doing my best to control my breathing so he wouldn’t hear me. Luckily, the car ride was short and sweet as we arrived just a few minutes later at the outlets. We both got out and started to walk around seeing all the different shops.

“If you see any shops that you want to go in, just let me know, alright?” He mentions to me as we walk together. I nod my head and tell him the same, not wanting this day to just revolve around what I want.

We found a couple of shops that we mutually wanted to go into, such as electronic stores and snack stores. We bonded a bit over time as we walked together.

I learned that Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been friends ever since they were kids and their families were close with each other. Their families aren't really close anymore but the guys were best friends and knew everything about each other. They basically thought of each other as brothers at this point.

It was surprisingly a very laid back hangout, and the slight awkwardness went away by the end of the day. Eventually, he was already driving me back home as our hangout came to an end. The ride was still nerve wracking for me but it seemed easier to hid it from him.

He walked over to open my door when we reached my home. As I walked to my door, I looked back and saw that he was standing there waiting for me to go inside. He brings one hand up and makes a shooing motion, telling me to go inside. I smile and wave before unlocking the door and going inside. It wasn't too bad of a day. Maybe next time, Jeonghan can join us.

****

a/n: sorry this took so long T_T i was actually stuck at how to write this chapter. hopefully this chapter is ok.

chapter list

previous chapter || next chapter

#seungcheol #seungcheol fanfic #svt imagines #svt fluff #kpop fanfic #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol x oc #jeonghan x oc #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan fanfic

[palfriendpatine66]

WIP Wednesday

TL/DR: The bad news: Birdcage au is on hold (indefinitely). The good news: continue reading for short 27 dresses au snippet (working title Here Comes the Groom, which I forgot to include on my list of projects) For @grapenehifics @briliantlymad @yourfavoritefridge and anyone else still waiting on The Birdcage au after Monday's wip ask bonanza (major thank you to everyone who chimed in!! I wrote 1500 words over 6 vastly different projects, overcame two really massive road blocks, started one I didn't have anything written for, and did some major brainstorming) bad news - I think the birdcage au is on hold, perhaps indefinitely. I was working hard to nail down the plot and I don't think it's just me getting into my own head when I say if I'm going to do it I want to do it justice and I'm not really sure where I was taking it is my story to tell. so. I’m bummed but I think this is a case of do it right or not at all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you’re still with me - here is a bit from Here Comes the Groom, a modern au very loosely based around the premise of the movie 27 dresses (I think! I don’t actually remember the movie!)

Obi-Wan is always a groomsman, never the groom. He's the best best man. And despite the constant comments from everyone who thinks they’re as witty as he is during his speeches (they’re not) he’s in no rush to change that status.

Anakin works as a server for a catering company, not a bad side gig for a hopeless romantic. He’s got all the industry connections and everything planned out to make his big day the wedding of his dreams, if only he could meet the one.

*****

Wolf whistles and good natured jeering broke out as the groom disappeared under the bride’s voluminous dress to retrieve her garter. It looked as though she was trying to shimmy and work it down so there wasn’t far to go, but her gown was definitely working against her.

“You couldn’t talk them out of this?”

Obi-Wan was nursing a drink watching the event from afar when Anakin returned to the bar with a serving tray full of empty glasses.

“Couldn’t be swayed. It’s tradition.” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

Anakin snorted as he took his time unloading the glasses. “It’s bad taste is what it is. I never even understood - isn’t it weird? Half of the people here are related to her.”

Obi-Wan didn’t disagree. “It’s supposed to be good luck,” he offered.

They shared a wince as the lacy band landed on a red faced cousin. “Gross,” Anakin laughed quietly as he loaded up the tray.

“No garter toss at your wedding then I take it?” Obi-Wan took another delicate sip of his drink, not wanting to rush his excuse to linger away from the ongoing “entertainment.”

Anakin looked offended by the possibility. “Look, I might have it all planned out but I wouldn’t stick to any plan if it made the love of my life want to cry from embarrassment on our wedding day.”

Obi-Wan looked back at his glass as Anakin made his way back through the crowd with fresh flutes of champagne. He frowned and wondered if he was truly the only one not anxiously awaiting their own trip down the aisle. He downed the rest of the contents and shoved back from the bar; it was time for him to put in an appearance.

#wip wednesday #here comes the groom

[lutiaslayton]

So uh. Hi, I finally made a decision I probably should have made a long while ago thanks to talking a bit on Discord: for the sake of my sanity I will not be keeping up the weekly schedule after all 😔 Layton's Book Club updates WILL be posted exclusively on Saturdays at the decided time, instead of at any random time in the week, and I will likely make a few heads up when we're on a lucky week during which you'll get an update, but I will not force myself to make it happen every single week. Simply because at least right now, it is physically impossible for me to do so. (Chapter 1 Part 1 of Illusory Forest is going to be the end of me, and not just because I am still questioning if the author was under the influence of some Folsense gas while writing it.)

That being said, I believe this should actually be treated as good news, and not just good news for my personal health. Because, sure, the updates will not come out as often as I had originally planned to. But in the long run, I actually believe that since I no longer plan to force myself to only work on one thing (which has progressively been eating at my sanity on top of that because darn it this chapter is stupid and it just doesn't seem to END, + it'd be nice if I could finally get some content out that is my creation rather than somebody else's), it means that I will actually allow myself to post more diverse Layton stuff in the meantime.

Stuff like the Evan Barde post I made a few days ago, or other helpful-for-the-fandom stuff that isn't translation work, or… even maybe stuff like finally allowing myself to write SLS and draw random stuff again? Or even read other people’s fanfics and comics and AUs and stuff? (ok technically that last one would probably not lead to tumblr content but shush it means I would take time to look at YOUR content for a change)

The list of stuff I'd like to post in the future includes but is not limited to:

A tutorial on how I get my translation stuff done despite the fact that I do not actually speak Japanese. Best case scenario, this might even lead to some brave people among you to start helping me with this monumental task that is translating multiple novels and games from scratch while you're not even fluent in the language you're translating, and this would be a MASSIVE weight off my back. (spoiler alert: while I do use DeepL to check stuff and/or get inspiration, my work is NOT limited to simply copy/pasting sentences into it and then copy/pasting whatever it gives me back)

The Playthrough series! You had all forgotten about it, hadn't you? Yeah, me too.

Lore analysis stuff in general. I have a massive, absolutely insane project ongoing which is basically "Want to find some info about X? Just open that one (1) web page, enter a few tags such as a specific character's name or location, clich the Search button, and get a list of every single known fact which is related to all of your tags which is summarised down to the bare minimum fact, along with the exact source and quote directly taken from the source material."

Puzzle theory stuff. I've talked about it a lot, it'd be cool if I could finally get the stuff sorted and actually provide all the evidence supporting, refining or challenging it in one place. Above-mentioned lore analysis stuff should help with that.

More fancy shitpost such as the ones found in the #lutiasdraws tag. Let me join in on the fun pls it's good for my mental health to get some serotonin out of non-boring stuff. Heck, perhaps I might even do fanart/shitpost about some fanfics/AUs/others I find and enjoy.

That being said, I apologise to everyone who was hyped at the idea of Illusory Forest updating weekly, but I hope you'll still enjoy the stuff I'll be posting here. If not, blacklisting tags is a thing! I tag everything diligently so for example if you're tired of seeing me ramble about stuff (I do that a lot lately, sorry for that 😭), you can just block the #lutiastalks tag. Yes I finally decided to make #lutiasreplies exclusive to actually replying to asks or reblogs, and use #lutiastalks for random news stuff. yay to self-care and cleaning up my house, head, and tumblr blog.

#lutiastalks

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside

Chapter Four

Stray Kids Mafia (ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 3k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Synopsis: After years spent away from the family, two strangers start frequenting your place of work, only to bring daunting news. Flung back into the world of the mafia, you try to adapt to your new normal and work alongside a team of eight skilled members to uncover a mystery and take down an unknown enemy.

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Disclaimer: Any portrayal of Stray Kids or any other idols in this story is purely fiction and do not at all reflect their own personalities or how I view them as a person, it is purely for the sake of the story.

Please do not copy or repost my work

My eyes squinted as I failed with a miserable attempt to shield my face from the light aggressively shining through my windows, honestly windows this large in a bedroom facing the sunrise should be a crime.

Lifting myself from the cradle of the soft mattress below me I sat up, finally getting a moment to observe the room Felix had led me to last night. I had been barely coherent, hardly aware of my surroundings as I struggled to keep up my pace behind him. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and in a half awake daze started to take in my surroundings.

My suitcase sat beside the dresser that was across from the foot of the bed, a mirror above it reflecting my rough appearance back at me. I was painfully aware of the blinds, which most definitely should have been closed last night before slumber, being wide open as I struggled to keep my squinting eyes away from the beam of sunlight making it’s way into the room. My head pounded as if I had a piercing hangover, my body clearly angry with me from missing an entire night of sleep prior. I quickly realized that I still wore the same clothes as last night, too tired to strip and redress myself before crawling into bed.

With a groan I collapsed back into the mattress, staring at the ceiling, as I recounted the events of the night. This predicament that I now found myself sitting in the back of my mind, preventing myself from finding any comfort beneath the warm sheets around me. There was nothing I wanted more than to just melt into the blankets, finding more blissful comfort in the embrace of a dead sleep. I rolled onto my side away from the windows, attempting to pull the blankets to my face and get comfortable again.

A soft couple of knocks emitted from the door, my groaned “whaaat?” slipping out from under the sheets. I could hear a slight chuckle from behind the door, the voice following clearly identifying Felix standing behind it.

“So I take it you’re finally awake then, come out here when you’re decent.” I pushed the blankets off of me again in a groan, finally lifting myself from the comfort of bed. I crossed to the mirror, settling down any hair put astray from a deep nights sleep. Taking a deep breath, I made my way to the door and opened it slowly, finding Felix leaning against the opposite wall. He stood as I appeared, a soft smile spreading on his face before he observed my outfit with a raised brow.

“You hadn’t changed?” I responded with nothing but a weak shrug, wondering if it was truly surprising with the last 48 hours I’ve had. “Well, Chan’s been waiting to talk to you.” I pressed my lips together in a tense line before closing my eyes and sighing.

“I should have expected that, huh?” My feet fell in line behind Felix, following him down the stretched hallway. “Let me guess, Chan’s the leader?” Felix nodded as he turned us to the left down a separate hall, my eyes finally starting to take in the massive home I was within. Last night my eyes were far too foggy with sleep, unable to observe the dark hall I had been led down.

“Yeah, he didn’t really expect you to sleep in until 4, but he insisted we let you sleep.” My feet stopped abruptly where I stood, staring at the back of his head in shock.

“IT’S 4 O’CLOCK?” He finally stopped and slowly turned around, looking at me in confusion.

“Yeah? Nothing wrong with that, we know you didn’t sleep at all the night before, and that’s kind of me and Hyunjin’s fault.” I scoffed with a laugh before continuing behind him, only a few more steps before he stopped before a large door. Looking back to check that I had caught up with him, he then turned back to the door and left three knocks. A voice within welcomed him in, Felix poking his head in just slightly.

“Hey Hyung, y/n woke up.” I absent-mindedly picked at the skin around my nails, more nervous than I had expected myself to be when now facing the very thing that held me from my family for so many years.

“Oh shit. Yeah, um, go ahead and let her in.” I could hear him shuffle papers around on his desk before Felix stepped aside, gesturing me inside. The office was the same stained mahogany as Blossom, a bit of home sickness already starting to settle in my stomach. The room was long, bookcases lining the sides bringing your eyes forward to the two chairs with their backs to the door and facing the desk before them, at which sat the man I could only assume was Chan. His icy hair pushed back from his face, showing that it adorned a scar over his brow and one across the cheek. He leaned back, running a hand through his hair in exasperation before sighing and relaxing back in his seat, finally looking up to me as Felix stepped out, shutting the door behind him.

“An honor to finally put a face to the daughter of the Choi syndicate.” He gestured to one of the seats before him. “Please, come sit. I bet you have a lot of questions.” My eyes finally fell on the empty seat, only just now realizing the other was occupied by someone yet to look at me. His eyes stayed on the floor in front of Chan’s desk with his chin resting upon his hand. I quietly crossed to the chair, taking a seat before him. Chan leaned forward, interlacing his fingers and resting his elbows upon his desk.

“I guess I should start with introductions, I’m Bang Chan” his hand rose to gesture to the gentleman next to me “and this is Lee Minho.” Minho still failed look at me as I glanced to him. His features were sharper than Chan’s, his hair a warmer chestnut color than any of the other members I’ve met so far. Chan tongued the inside of his cheek with a clenched jaw, the tension filled room I had walked into only just now becoming apparent to me.

“I know Hyunjin and Felix told you a bit of the situation we’ve all found ourselves within.” Chan’s gaze turned back to me, I can tell he’s trying to soften his features in an attempt to possibly calm my nerves with being flung back into this world so abruptly. I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, watching as Chan scanned over the papers in front of him before sighing and continuing. “And let me be first to give my condolences about your father. I heard Hyunjin was a bit…blunt… with his delivery of the news.”

“Oh no, I definitely fed into that one, can’t really put all the blame on him.” I waved my hands in front of me to disregard any offense. “And to be completely honest, I’d been prepared for this day ever since I left, I knew it would happen eventually.” My hands fell back into my lap, my eyes immediately drawn back to them. I’ll be first to say no level of preparation could have truly made me ready to receive the news, but I told myself if I just put focus on distraction it might make this whole situation a little easier. Chan tapped a pencil to his desk, focusing on me with a look of concern.

“Right…” He leaned back, arm perched on the arm rest and chin settling between his fingers, deep in thought. “Well, his assailant has still yet to be identified, and because of that Jiho wants close eyes on you incase they intend to target you two as well.” Chan’s eyes fell back on the still silent Minho, another frustrated sigh leaving his lips. “I’ve informed Minho here that he’s to be by your side for that purpose.” My face scrunched as I glanced between the two, Minho’s eyes still glued to the floor.

“Wow, I can definitely say he seems elated by the news.” My sarcasm bled through my words as I rolled my eyes. The person refusing to even acknowledge my existence is being given the task of managing my protection? “As flattered as I am to say someone is supposed to be my protector, I can fend for myself.” Finally the first indication of life came from beside me, Minho letting out a scoff as he sat up in his seat staring forward to Chan.

“There’s nothing I’d rather fill my time with, Boss.” My side eye glare was evident, his flat tone doing very little to disguise his irritation.

“Jesus christ can you two please just play nice? You guys don’t have to like each other but at the very least you can fake it.” Abruptly Chan’s phone began to ring, Minho and I fell back into silence as Chan held the receiver to his ear with a nod. “Alright, I’ll send them down.” Chan rested his elbows upon his desk again as he hung up, glancing between the two of us. “Y/n. Someone’s here to see you. Plus, you need to meet the others. Minho, please show her down.” Minho rose from his seat first, quickly turning on his heels and making his way back to the door as I followed. As he opened the door, Chan called out one last time to us before shooing us off with his hand.

“Remember, just behave yourselves. Please.”

Footsteps echoed through the halls of the home as I followed Minho in silence. The same stained wood carried throughout the rooms as we worked our way to the grand staircase leading to the foyer, ceilings high making me feel miniscule in comparison. Branching off the foyer was a sitting room at the front of the home, a man standing before the large window, observing the scene out front with hands held behind his back. He slowly turned to us as we neared, Minho stepping to the side as the face of Jiho came into my view.

My chest tightened as I ran to him, enveloping him in a tight embrace that I had felt deprived of for so many years. His arms wrapped around me with a chuckle, holding me close and resting his hand on the back of my head.

“Good to see you too, Goober.” I pulled back with a smack to his chest, tears already starting to build in my eyes, contradicting the wide smile now stretching across my face. Jiho cupped my face and wiped the tears with his thumb, scanning my face with a gentle grin. “Look at you, you’ve changed so much.” He pulled me closer once again, holding me tight.

“10 years tends to do that.” I choked out through pained sobs, the emotions I had been ignoring for so long finally hitting me all at once. “Speaking of which I think it’s about time to retire the name Goober.”

“Never.” His chuckle vibrated through his chest, his voice soft as he rested his chin a top my head. “You’ll always be Goober to me.” Jiho pulled away, hand falling back towards the seats behind him. I wiped my face with a deep breath, centering myself before sitting beside him, finally taking in his changed features.

“So Dad’s really gone…huh?” Jiho’s quiet nod in response made me exhale deeply as I looked away, reality truly starting to seep in. “I guess, what does that mean for us?” I leaned back in my seat, my gaze settled back on him as I chewed my cheek.

“Well, as I assumed you’ve heard, I’ve taken the seat.” Jiho scratched the back of his neck before leaning forward, resting his arms on his legs as he focused on the floor before him. “I can’t do this without you, y/n.” He glanced up to me, his eyes drooping in a plea. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, feeling tense under his gaze.

“Jiho… I-I don’t know.” I squirmed in my seat, the abrupt inability to keep myself still taking over. “You know how long I’ve been away, how is it even possible I’d be able to help you?”

“You’re a Choi. Of course you can do this.” He reached forward with a quick squeeze of comfort to my knee. “I’m not talking about immediately, you need some time to acclimate, get your bearings. That’s why I wanted you to stay with SKZ, they can teach you well.” He glanced back to Minho, who’s presence leaning against the archway had quickly been forgotten by me with sight of my brother. “Especially this one here, he’s the best they’ve got.” I shot a quick glare behind me, Minho’s forced smile with a subtle wave. I turned back to Jiho with a sharp stare.

“Yeah, we’ll see how that one plays out.” I settled back in my seat, staring out the window in front of us, the trees with the soft glow of the sun beginning to set behind the house. The looming fear that had been locked away within me now reaching the surface. The blissful ignorance I had been living in for so long had been obliterated, the hope for staying away from everything crumbling beneath me. I rubbed my temples, closing my eyes and running through every possibly of turnout. Did I truly have this potential? Would I be able to prep myself to take charge by Jiho’s side? I leaned forward, resting my chin on my thumbs with my hands pressed together before my mouth. I scanned the room around me in thought, the depth of the color scheme within this entire house seemingly matching the ominous appearance of the exterior. “The family still dealing in arms exchange?” Jiho and I shared a nod toward the other, both slipping into silence again as I contemplated my options. I hummed in a disheartened response. “So what exactly happened with Dad?” I avoided Jiho’s gaze, one that which stayed pointed on me.

“Happened during the night within his home. Which is why I can’t let you stay alone anymore, it was definitely a hit.” My eyebrows raised with a deep breath, the years of no contact with the family starting to process through my mind and giving me disdain. The thought of the last time I had the ability to see my Father being at 17, I couldn’t help but feel as though it was handled in vain. “We can take this over, y/n. I’ve been at his side since you left, I just need you to do the same for me.”

“This is a big ask, Jiho.”

“But you’re more than qualified for it.” His response was quick, glancing back to Minho still standing in the entryway. “Listen, I can’t stay long. I just needed to see you finally. Get yourself settled here, get a hang of things. We can talk about this more later, okay?”

“The others should be down shortly anyways.” Minho’s piped up, catching both of our attention. I rolled my eyes as I looked back to Jiho.

“Don’t leave me alone with them I swear to god.” Jiho chuckled as we stood and pulled me into another embrace.

“They’re good people, y/n. Just try to make the most of it until you can come home.” He pulled back, ruffling the hair on top of my head. “You’ll be back before you know it”

“Is that really necessary?” I quickly settled my hair back down as we started to hear the sound of feet behind us. I glanced back to the men coming down the stairs, each giving a quiet nod to us as they passed the archway and made their way deeper into the home.

“And it looks like that’s my sign to head out, go meet the boys.” Jiho patted my arm before crossing beside me towards the front door. Felix was last to come down the stairs, a soft smile pointed my direction again, at least one felt like they were welcoming me with open arms. “I’ll be in touch, take care of yourself.” Jiho slid out the door and made his way to a car waiting for him, the silence following his exit felt deafening as I rubbed my face in defeat. This was truly happening.

“Com’on. Now isn’t the time to wallow in self pity.” My eyes caught sharply on Minho, hoping my irritation translated to my face properly.

“Hmm. Easy for you to say.” I scoffed as I walked past him, avoiding eye contact as I made my way towards where the others left to, Minho following behind with a soft chuckle. If any of the others happened to be like him, this surely was going to be a difficult stay. The most I could hope for was that the rest of the group didn’t feel so cold with the ever looming stress of the current situation.

Entering into what appeared to be the living room, my eyes fell on the boys now settled on the couch. Felix and Hyunjin sat beside each other, the other four unfamiliar faces immediately landing on my entrance with tense stares. I was getting real tired of these repeating uneasy conversations immediately after waking from a hibernation. They better have some form of liquor in this house, I was going to need it after all of this nonsense.

Next chapter

#stray kids mafia #stray kids #skz mafia #skz #lee know x reader #lee know enemies to lovers #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #fanfiction #stray kids freeze

[coraleethroughthelookingglass]

20 Question Writer Ask Game

Thank you so much @galbrand for tagging me!

⚜️1. How many works do you have on AO3?

155 😮

⚜️2.What's your total A03 words count?

Over a million (again 😮)

⚜️3. What fandoms do you write for?

Rings of Power, Game of Thrones, Star Wars Sequels and Critical Role

⚜️4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unsurprisingly, these are all Game of Thrones ones;

High Garden, Bye Garden

I Should Be Over All The Butterflies

Recovery

A Year In The Life

The Kingsguard & I

All modern AU, which will come as no surprise to those who know my Haladriel fics as modern romance seems to be my happy place.

⚜️5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do try to, though I do get a bit in my head and self conscious sometimes and think I should be cooler than just saying thank you to everyone who’s left a comment.

⚜️6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably -

⚜️7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings, to be honest, so anything that’s tagged with ‘fluff’ will have a one :)

⚜️8.Do you get hate on fics?

I’ve had unpleasant comments once or twice, but thankfully it’s not a common occurrence.

⚜️9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, yes. I’ve written both F/M and F/F so far and am planning on writing some M/M for my Celeborn/Galadriel/Halbrand OT3 fic - eventually.

⚜️10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No crossovers, but lots of niche AUs :)

⚜️11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of, no

⚜️12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it’s not something I’m against

⚜️13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes :) Both for Jaime/Brienne and Galadriel/Halbrand

⚜️14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I’m going to say Jaime/Brienne but I also have a massive soft spot for Jadiza/Worf from DS9

⚜️15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I started a Hunger Games AU for Jaime/Brienne and Arya/Gendry back before I went on my pandemic hiatus. I’d love to finish it but I think the inspiration for that one has passed now.

⚜️16. What are your writing strengths?

I think that would probably be world building and character backstories, both of which I find a lot of fun coming up with

⚜️17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I find dialogue hard, especially when it needs to be the kind that pushes the story forward. It can feel a little forced at times and I do have to talk it all out loud when it gets to that point

⚜️18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

There is a little German and French in In Sickness and In Health but that’s only because of the wonderful @somebirdortheother helping with translation

⚜️19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter (Bellatrix/Voldermort), though that was very silly and unpublished. Game of Thrones was the first fandom I put any of my writing online for.

⚜️20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

This changes a lot, but my top three are a Battlestar Galactica AU;

A Jaime/Brienne/Cersei threesome

And an ongoing Roman Era Haladriel fic;

No pressure tagging @somebirdortheother @jhalya @myfavouritelunatic @scriberated @niennawept @lady-of-imladris @theriverwild @starlady66 @makeshiftdraco @demonscantgothere

#writer ask game #halbrand x galadriel #jaime x brienne #my fics

[azzzhat]

Hello

I have arrived with more questions :>

So

What was the lab like back in mimictale?

Considering the fact that this universe basically has an entire world's worth of room compared to the other aus, I assume it would be much larger unless it was lacking in funds. Did they have other projects to work on? Did the bros ever get to see any projects or were they taught anything about them? Would they have been friends with any of the staff?

Would the core be necessary or would they use something else to generate power? Since they have access to electricity and a much larger amount of land, did they have a similar technological timeline to that of humans? (Like using coal and steampowered engines instead of something magic based)

Also since mimictale is basically a scaled up UT then what would waterfall be like? Would it be in a massive cave or out in the open? Could it be used for mining purposes to support a much larger population, a lil settlement or just a place to explore? Since it's in-between Snowdin and Hotland (where I presume the lab is located) then would the bros have been thru there? If so, do u think they liked it?

Just a few questions, u don't gotta answer them since it's kind of a lot sorry

New chapter was amazing, can't wait to see what happens next!

Also make sure to get enough rest if ur busy & have what good day >:]

Hello Anon!!! It's nice to see you back :D

The capital's lab was VERY well funded. Back in its prime, it was regarded as the leading innovator for technology within the region. I think it'd be nearly completely underground below the Kingdom and only accessible from within the castle, both to make use of geothermal energy and for protection. Most of the lab's work was concerned with studying the effects of magic on organic matter or enhancing the properties of materials and minerals with magic.

Orion and Freki were quite involved with the projects in the lab because of Asgore's indifference to child labour policies, though only Freki was allowed to be present while experiments were ongoing and help out with menial tasks. Orion was still a little too young to be there without constant supervision, so he had the concepts explained to him instead. They wouldn't have made many friends since Eridanus (Mimictale Gaster) tried his best to keep them away from the rest of the lab staff and essentially threatened to strip anyone of their title if they touched either of them. Mimics can get dangerously possessive over children, especially ones supposedly with no declared parental figures.

Mimictale would still use the CORE to power the Kingdom as the geothermal energy generated from Hotland supplies a good part of their energy needs. If not, it'd come from their own magic. The technological timeline does loosely follow that of humans, but as a whole most non-renewable energy sources are often substituted/bolstered with magic or draught animals. Rural areas also have less access to technology or reject it entirely.

I imagine Waterfall to occur as a wetland biome leading into a natural cavern! The surface would resemble a swamp while its underground region would take after a marsh. Its large cave system would definitely be a popular mining location with taverns, stilt houses, wooden bridges, echo flower fields, etc. It was one of the only places where Freki and Orion could catch a break thanks to the sparse aboveground population, so they did like it!

It's no problem for me to answer! I've never thought too deeply about the answers to some of these questions, so it helped me flesh out Mimictale in my head a little more. Have a good day, Anon <3

#ask!! #these days the lab isn't as glamourous as it once was since eridanus is gone #underground waterfall is shiny rock heaven and a hot tourist destination

[exy-shmexy]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

Thank you so much for the tag @fortheloveofexy <3

Tagging @halfpintpeach @brokenpinetree @desolatebee

One thing I want to say first is that I am so grateful for all the friends I have made thanks to all these fics. I have met some incredible people who supported me and offered me much-needed feedback when I needed it most so to each of you, thank you for absolutely everything.

TOP 5 (by Kudos)

Patchwork (2.3k, Andreil)

In this one, Andrew lets a bored Neil doodle on his legs, then decides to keep a permanent trace of it. I'm not gonna lie, I'm very surprised this is my number one. I love it dearly, mostly because it's basically just fluff and I'm a massive sucker for fluffy fics, but the fact it's ranking so high is funny to me. It's a little guy, but one I was very happy with in the end.

2. Of Detention and Passing Notes (7.2k, Andreil)

This one started off as a very silly tweet I posted about a High School AU where Neil meets Andrew in detention and bugs him by tossing paper notes on his desk. I had an absolute blast writing it! It's one of my first long-ish one shots so I was very happy with it at the time. Also I had to ask several people about actually getting into detention because I was too scared to get in trouble back in my high school days.

3. On The Road (1.8k, Andreil)

This is basically Neil getting horny while the team is on their way to an away game. I uh don't know what madness took over my brain for this one but you know what? It was fun to write c:

4. Let Our Hearts Do Their Part (8.1k, Andreil)

This... is not what it was originally supposed to be lmao I'm happy with it, but my brain kinda decided to go in a completely different direction than what I originally wanted, which is fine! Sometimes you have a plan but then along the way your idea strays away from it and another sprouts in its place.

5. As It Was (3k, Andreil)

Oof that's the very first fic I wrote for AFTG. It's a sick fic in which Neil gets the flu, is stubborn about it, so Andrew comes back to PSU to take care of him. I really like it, still now. I was sick myself when I wrote it and pretty mad about it so that was a good way to vent lol

PERSONAL 5

Paw and Order (ongoing currently 22k, Andreil)

This is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. This Cat Cafe AU has my entire heart, I absolutely love it and it is just so comforting to write. I have two chapters left to write for it and I'm excited to mark it as completed when the time comes for it although I will probably be sad about it because I just seriously love this silly thing so much.

TW for the paragraph below: mental health, depression, loneliness

Since this post is about being open about your writing, I have to admit that the first two chapters are very heavy on the angst because I was in a similar kind of mood as Andrew is in the beginning of this fic. I tend to get very lost in my own head, and it usually ends up in me feeling very lonely because my brain is great like that. Being able to project on Andrew (sorry my guy) was very helpful at the time. Me being me though, the next chapters get fluffier because even though I try to pretend that I'm a tough emo person, I'm secretly a softie but don't tell anyone. So yeah, this AU will forever have my heart.

2. Querencia (11k, Andreil)

Aw man okay another one I loved working on. To no one's surprise, this is also a very fluffy boy. Neil and Andrew go on a road trip together. This fic has a special place in my heart too for lots of reasons.

3. Snow Angels (1.6k, Aaron)

Listen, we've barely had snow over here. One morning I saw that one video of a dad teaching his kid how to do snow angels, and my brain ran with the idea. It's centered around Aaron because I just know he is the most amazing dad to his twin daughters. Also, they have a puppy.

4. Le Corbeau et le Renard (ongoing currently 40k, all the Foxes)

Basically everything is the same except Ichirou forces Jean to join the Foxes instead of the Trojans after TKM. I have SUCH a love-hate relationship with this fic. I think I was onto something when the idea popped into my brain, but as soon as I sit down to write it my brain just turns off. I like writing about Jean and his relationship with the Foxes, also all the tiny subplots sprinkled in-between, but sometimes I think I was perhaps a bit too ambitious.

Anyway, all of this to say I need to tame this beast and get back to it after I'm done with Paw and Order.

5. Licorice (1k, Andreil)

It's kinda funny because now that I thought about Patchwork again, these two have very similar vibes. I guess I just have a thing for Andreil, being alone in their dorm and some non-sexual intimacy.

#if you read all of this kudos to you I will forever admire you #the way I just decided to ramble on and on #but it was fun! #aftg #aftg fic

[jaewritesfic]

DBH WIP Masterpost

I have a multitude of fics in progress that I'll likely be posting snippets and previews of, so I'm putting together a little masterpost of the general concepts and tags that will be used for clarity.

Synthetic Blues

Hankcon, Ongoing, on Ao3

Premise: Deviant Connor joins the DPD as a human Detective, gets thrown into the midst of the deviancy investigation

Tags: #synthetic blues, #jaewritesfic, #my writing

Malicious Compliance

Hankcon, Ongoing, yet unpublished

Premise: after a mostly peaceful android revolution, it's time to negotiate human presence back into Detroit - that starts with the police department. Hank is part of the group set to negotiate with a representative from Jericho.

One of the stipulations of the deal is that the android must be identifiable as such outside the military barricade that separates android occupied Detroit from the rest of the world.

Connor comes to negotiate on the behalf of Jericho - and he does so without skin. It doesn't get much more easily identifiable than that. Play stupid games win stupid prizes y'all.

Tags: #maliciouscomplianceau #jaewritesfic #my writing

Amnesia AU (untitled)

Hankcon, Ongoing, yet unpublished

Premise: After a head injury in the field, Hank suffers massive retrograde amnesia, including all prior knowledge of androids. He must now maneuver around a new world and more importantly, his android friend and partner Connor.

Tags: #amnesiaau, #jaewritesfic, #my writing

Rare Prize (Zlatko Experiment AU)

Hankcon, Ongoing, yet unpublished

Premise: somewhere in the beginning of investigations into deviancy, Hank gets a tip from one of his street acquaintances about one Zlatko Andronikov possibly being involved. He ends up in the man's basement while Zlatko tries to figure out what to do with him.

Hank thinks the young man on the other side of the stall wall he strikes up conversation with is another human hostage - he couldn't be more wrong.

Tags: #rareprizeau, #jaewritesfic, #my writing

Undercover Wireplay (untitled)

Hankcon, Ongoing, yet unpublished

Premise: NSFW one-shot, Hankcon undercover in a sex club. Of course devolves into some wire tugging 😉

Tags: #undercoverwireplay, #jaewritesfic, #my writing

All NSFW snippets will also be tagged with #jaewritesnsfw

List will be updated as changes develop with tags, status, etc.

Please feel free to ask about any AUs and any posted snippets!

#synthetic blues #my writing #jaewritesfic #maliciouscomplianceau #unpublished wip #amnesiaau #rareprizeau #undercoverwireplay #jaewritesnsfw

[neoneun-au]

CAN’T HELP MYSELF; CHAPTER I: BADBADNOTGOOD

―PAIRING: wonwoo x fem!reader, mingyu x fem!reader ―GENRE: love triangle au, fluff, mild angst, romantic comedy, suggestive, smut (later chapters) ―CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 5.8K ―CHAPTER WARNINGS: break ups, angst, mild language ―STATUS: ongoing

―SERIES M.LIST HERE

i: badbadnotgood

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“It’s literally fine,” you state, voice edging on manic as you take another sip from the iced coffee clutched in your (only slightly trembling) hands, “I’m literally so fine.”

It’s a Thursday afternoon in September and you find yourself once again sitting at the counter of your friend’s day job, taking advantage of her waning generosity (i.e. free coffee) while avoiding doing any of the multitude of things you should be doing at this moment in time. The aforementioned friend, Seulgi, stands in front of you–lower half obscured by the fake marble counter–clad in a coffee-stained apron and fixing you with an expression of open concern. “Are you sure you’re okay? Because you look…I don’t mean this to sound insensitive, but you look a little insane. Are you developing a twitch?” 

“I think I might take up running,” you drown the manic edge in your voice with another sip of iced coffee–groaning in disappointment when all that greets your lips is faintly coffee flavoured melt water from your ice cubes. You shake the container to check the contents and with a wave of bitterness confirm that it is, indeed, very empty. 

“You should consider taking up drinking water as a hobby first,” she says, snatching the cup away from you and tossing it into the garbage can under the counter behind her, “and then maybe we can go from there.” 

You heave a sigh and turn to stare out the window, deepening the cliché of the afternoon. A forlorn widow at a bar draped in pearls and fur.

Thursdays were slow, so you always took your time chatting with Seulgi and sipping whatever drink she was gracious enough to make for you. Today had been a “three iced coffees in a row” kind of day and due to extenuating circumstances (read: an incredibly recent breakup) she was being patient. For now. If the steel in her gaze was anything to judge by, her patience was beginning to run thin. 

“I just think that this is the perfect opportunity, Seulgi.” She keeps her eyes trained on your face–steady and unblinking–as you continue to ramble off your tired-but-wired thoughts. “I have so much free time now to do whatever I want, be whoever I want. I haven’t been single in over three years. That’s so long.”

“It is long,” she nods cautiously. A glass of water is set down on the counter in front of you, condensation dripping down the sides, and without thought, entirely on autopilot, you raise it to your lips and take a sip. A small wave of relief ripples over Seulgi’s face as you do.  

“I’ve been living with Wonwoo for two of those years, as well,” you choke the name out despite how it still stalls in your throat, threatening either tears or a coughing fit or both. You’re too bolstered by your false sense of optimism in the present moment to let it stop your monologue in its tracks. “Not going out, only cooking at home, spending more time playing video games and watching Netflix on the couch than I ever have in my life. I don’t have to think about what he wants to watch anymore, I can watch what I want. I can go where I want. I could watch Glee!” 

“Do you want to watch Glee?” She narrows her brows in suspicion but you wave the glance away with a breezy hand gesture. 

“It doesn’t matter what I want to watch,” you shake your head in frustration, “the point is that I can.”

“Right,” she nods, “you’re single now, which was sort of the goal of breaking up with him in the first place. So…live your life.” 

“Yes,” you nod, mentally shoving the words ‘breaking up’ into a small closet in your mind. Not to be opened until you were sufficiently under the influence of a massive amount of alcohol. “Yes, I can live my life.” 

The bell over the front door of the cafe rings out clear through the air, drawing your attention towards a young couple striding in from the windy day outside. Seulgi pushes herself off the counter in front of you and heads to greet them and collect their order–leaving you to continue to stew in your own thoughts. 

Breaking up with Wonwoo had never really been a part of the plan. Two years ago when you moved in with him, you were certain that it was going to be the last relationship you ever had. The hopeless romantic in you had hitched your wagon to him and he made it so easy to build a home around. Your relationship existed as simple domesticity; in simple romance and simple companionship. It was comforting and easy. And that was what scared you the most, in the end.   

Maybe it was too easy. Maybe you were settling. Maybe there was something more out there that you weren’t seeing because you were too content eating the same meals and telling the same stories. Part of you started to ache for a break in routine–some excitement and adventure that he wasn’t able or willing to offer–and after months of turning it over in your mind you finally figured what you had to do to make that happen.

“Have you found a place to stay yet?” Seulgi’s voice calls to you–yanking you unceremoniously out of your brain-stew before it hit the boiling point. The young, beige clad couple had settled themselves into a corner booth and Seulgi had come to take up her spot leaning on the counter across from you once more. 

“No,” you sigh, shoulders falling. The one sticking point in your resolve to leave your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now, you suppose) had been the apartment. Aside from it being the home you had made together, you didn’t really have any idea where else you could stay. For the past week you had been sleeping on the couch and disappearing as fast as possible before Wonwoo could wake up. Avoidance became key to your survival. 

A few friends had suggested you keep the apartment and he could move back in with his old college friend Jihoon, but you already felt too bad breaking up with him in the first place to then subsequently kick him out of an apartment that he also had every right to live in. So, maybe somewhat foolishly, you volunteered to leave. 

“What about Jeonghan, didn’t you say he had a room free at his place?” Seulgi nudges the now lukewarm glass of water towards you as she speaks and you take another sip, wincing at the mention of Jeonghan’s name. 

“He did,” you reply, setting the glass back down on the counter with a satisfying thud. From the moment he heard about the break-up he had offered as much accommodation to you as possible. You had been roommates for six months in college and it went as smoothly as it possibly could have at that age, so you knew you could live with him in a pinch. Although you suspected the main driving force behind his offer was to keep his own rent at his massive condo as cheap as possible.  

“And his place is a bad idea because…?” 

“He has like three other roommates already,” you groan, dropping your head into your hands. That was the only catch to rooming with him–strangers. All sense of optimism and bravado vacated your body at the thought of having to get to know new people. You no longer wanted to change your life for the better, you wanted to dig yourself into a soft pit in the earth and sleep for 1000 years. 

“So?” Seulgi asks and you groan deeper at her blatantly missing the source of your frustration, “you’ll have your own room. Besides, haven’t you been friends with him for like…ever?” 

“But they’re all dudes, Seulgi,” you whine, splaying your arms out across the counter. 

“You’ve lived with a dude for the past two years, what’s the difference?” 

“I’ve sworn them off,” you state as if it’s the most natural thing in the world and she just stares blankly back at you. 

“Dudes?” 

“Yes.” 

“You’ve sworn off…all dudes?” 

You nod, grateful she finally gets it, “yes.” Her steady gaze bores into you as you straighten your posture and readjust your hair before finally coming out with the question you had been meaning to ask since you stumbled into the cafe three hours ago, “can I move in with you?”

She barks a short laugh, shaking her head–her bright orange ponytail waving behind her as she does. You sit, patiently waiting for her response and ignoring the pit of vipers in your stomach biting at your nerves. After a moment she sobers up and brings her expression back to one of practised neutrality, “oh, you’re being serious.”  

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You know I live with my parents, right?” 

“Yeah, but they know me. I’ve met them.” 

“You’ve met them once,” she clarifies, stressing the last word. “I don’t think they really want to have another body in our house. It’s not exactly palatial.” 

“That’s fine, I don’t need much room,” you shrug and she heaves a sigh. 

“_____, you need to find a place that is a more permanent solution than crashing on my parent’s couch. Just look around online for some roommate ads, you can find plenty that are female only.” 

“Yeah,” you sigh, gathering your bags to leave. “You’re right, I should just do that.” 

“You’re leaving before close today?” She asks, slightly taken aback at the sudden shift in routine. 

“Yeah, I mean I don’t want to keep loitering and distracting you from your customers,” you nod, slinging your purse over your shoulders. Seulgi takes a cursory glance around the cafe–eyebrow cocked. The singular couple that had been occupying a table in the small space had already left, leaving behind a wayward glove as the only sign they had been there in the first place.

In an effort to avoid as much contact with Wonwoo as possible, you had been doing all of your work (read: moping and avoiding your actual job) from the safety of the cafe walls on the days Seulgi worked, and the library on days she didn’t. It was a nice cafe but with the university students not yet back for the start of fall semester, it wasn’t an especially busy spot this time of year. 

“Besides,” you start, pushing yourself off the stool and stretching out the kink that had developed in your spine from leaning dramatically over the counter for the past 3 hours, “Wonwoo is usually working late Thursday nights so I can have some time alone to browse through rental listings.” 

“Oh okay. Well good luck,” Seulgi waves you off and you think she might look slightly relieved as you push open the door of the cafe and step out into the fresh air. 

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Wonwoo, as it turns out, was not working late this Thursday night.

Instead, as you walk into the apartment at a quarter past 5 in the afternoon, you find him leaning against the kitchen counter waiting for a pot of water to come to a boil. 

His back is turned to you, head bowed forward as he scrolls through his phone. You freeze in place, bag swinging at your side, for a moment–staring at the back of his head as he remains blissfully unaware of your presence. 

If you were still dating, you would have snuck up behind him and wrapped your arms around his slender waist, tucking your face into the space between his shoulder blades. He always smelled like the faint remnants of his cologne–softened with wear throughout the day–and a strange combination of mint and coffee that you could only ever describe as ‘Wonwoo’. 

If you were still dating, he would have laughed softly–silently–at the sudden intrusion while twisting around the pressing his lips to your forehead, mumbling a quiet “hello,” against your skin. 

If you were still dating, you would have taken half of the ramyun he was cooking and sat together eating on the couch while chatting about your days, or watching whatever TV show had been in your rotation at the time. A comfortable stillness would have settled over you as you sunk back into each other as you so often did. With ease and flow. 

If you were still dating you wouldn’t be standing like a deer in headlights, staring at the back of his head. Waiting for the pin to drop. You wouldn’t be frantically trying to think of an exit plan before he took notice of your presence in the room. Your muscles tense to bolt at the slightest movement from him.

If you were still dating you might have known what to do when he finally did notice you there. When he turned to face you and you could see, even in the dim lighting of your small apartment, the redness in his eyes. But you weren’t still dating, so instead of instinctively knowing what to do you just waved at him with your pathetic, useless hands. 

“Umm hi,” you stutter the words out as you let your bag slip off your shoulder to the floor, kicking it to the side of the entryway. “I didn’t think you’d be home until later.” 

“Took the day off,” he replies, turning back around to add two packs of noodles into the now boiling water. You nod and slip off your jacket, feeling distinctly like an intruder inside of your own home. 

The obvious bags under Wonwoo’s eyes didn’t help with that feeling.

In fact, the more you watch him out of the corner of your eye, the more you start to feel like at your core you were actually a very evil person. Here he was, standing unkempt in the t-shirt you had bought for him last Christmas while you stood on the other side of the room from him alive and breathing and like you hadn’t broken his heart only days prior.

The tense silence from moments before is replaced by static in your mind as you let the guilt consume you–raging like a fire through your thoughts and burning everything it touches. ‘Evil, awful, terrible, horrible, bad, bad, bad person,’ it chants–over and over twisting and turning inside of you. A mantra for all the things you’ve done wrong. It buzzes inside of your head so loudly that you hardly notice Wonwoo speaking to you until he clears his throat in question and calls to you by name. 

“Sorry,” you start, putting a lid on the buzzing in your mind, “I didn’t hear you. What?” 

“Are you hungry?” he repeats himself, already setting out two bowls of ramyun on the small kitchen table before you can muster up a response. You take a seat without a word, wincing at the sound of the chair scraping against the vinyl flooring, disturbing the silence like nails on a chalkboard. 

“Thanks,” your voice is sheepish. He nods in acknowledgement and begins to slurp back his noodles, eyes trained on his phone screen as he avoids meeting your gaze. 

For a few minutes, the only sound in the room is the occasional clinking of chopsticks against the sides of your bowls. You sit, watching Wonwoo and waiting. Waiting for something to happen to break the stalemate. To cut the tension and alter the current status quo. 

You want him to scream. To yell at you, to throw something. Anything more than just…sit. In silence. Looking at his phone. ‘If you get mad at me I will get on my hands and knees and beg you for forgiveness,’ you think to yourself, telepathically sending him the hint you so desperately want him to pick up on. ‘Give me some emotion, for the love of god.’ 

The sticking point in your relationship had always been his introspection. Sometimes it was a boon. He went inwards to see things you often couldn't see on the outside. It was nice, having someone so thoughtful. Someone who sat back and observed; taking note of everything, never reacting blindly. 

But as the days ticked ever onward, and you remained in that same place of ease and comfort, you began to wish he would. React. Make any move purely on emotion. Share his ugly, dirty, messy thoughts–even if they were never fully formed, even if they were retracted a second later. 

Instead he remained–steady, stoic–and the desire inside of you for passion and change burned brighter and brighter until you couldn't stand it anymore. Until it nearly blinded you with its intensity. 

Even during the break-up, when you sat across from him at this same kitchen table, with a combination of tears and mascara running down your face, he sat still and calm. Listening. Observing. You sat there with your heart bared blood red on your sleeves and your feelings spilling out before him from the open wound of your mind–more vulnerable than you had ever felt in all your years of dating. And you watched, splayed open, as he retreated further and further from you, locked his emotions and heart back up into himself. He remained even as you pleaded for him to give you something–anything–other than that. 

So you left. 

And then came back an hour later because you didn’t know where the hell you were going in the first place and besides you had left your wallet and phone behind and what were you going to be able to do without those aside from sit on a park bench. You snuck back in through the front door and expected to see him in shambles on your bed or wailing dramatically along to a comfort film. Instead you found him three games deep into an extended Overwatch session. 

Now, days later, you find yourself once again hoping against hope for him to give you something. Something other than the (mostly) cold-shoulder you had received for the past few days when you did accidentally bump into him. You needed it. It might feel less painful if it felt like he cared more. More than hiding his tears behind whatever wall he had built inside of himself.

The silence bites at you again as Wonwoo gathers the bowls to clean up–checking yours first to see that you’ve finished, the way he always does–and you trail behind him into the small galley kitchen. 

“So, umm,” you start, unsure of what you’re about to say but unable to stop yourself from saying whatever it was anyway. If he wasn’t going to talk, you would. “How’s work?” 

“Same as usual,” he shrugs, setting the bowls into the sink. You can see his shoulders tensing under his shirt as you talk, and that monster of guilt peeks its head up inside of you for a split second before you shove it aside and continue. 

“I think I might have found a place to live,” you say suddenly, surprising even yourself.

“Oh?” His hands still in the sink, and he turns towards you–fully facing you for the first time since that night. The eye contact makes your breath catch in your throat–you can see more clearly now the redness in the whites of his eyes, the dark rings encircling them. Guilt rears his head once more. Regret. And a small–incredibly small, but still present–flush of victory. A reaction, finally. 

“Yeah,” you nod, spurred on by nerves and a desire to keep the tense silence at bay for as long as possible, “umm, Jeonghan offered me a room at his place.” 

“Jeonghan?” 

“Yeah, you remember him. Blonde guy–well I guess he wasn’t blonde when you met him, I think his hair was like…long and purple, or maybe blue–?” you catch yourself rambling, Wonwoo stands–hands poised still over a bowl–clutching a dripping dish rag. 

“I remember him, yeah,” he turns back to the dishes, scrubbing at the bowls but you can tell that you still have his attention. 

“Anyway, he offered to let me move in there. I just need to let him know when and then the room is mine,” you finish the thought and nod as if signing the lease agreement with your words despite this being the first time you’ve even seriously considered the offer.

“Doesn’t he have a bunch of roommates already?” Wonwoo shakes the water off the bowl–from a set of dishes you had bought together shortly after moving in–and sets it gently in the drying rack off to the side of the sink before moving on to the next one. 

“Yeah, like three,” you state, watching his forearms flex and unflex as he scrubs at an old stain in the grey ceramic, “but it's a five bedroom condo and one of his old roommates–Dino, I think was his name? I only met him once at that one murder mystery party they were throwing,” you catch yourself rambling again and take a quick breath to rearrange your thoughts, “anyway he just moved out so now they have an empty room.” 

Wonwoo nods, the way he always does when he is considering what to say, and you wait. Silence creeps back in for a moment–the only sound is the water whirling through the drain–before he turns back to you with one eyebrow slightly raised, “do you even want to live with that many people? You like having your space.” 

“I mean,” you hum, “I don’t really have many other options.” 

“You could stay here,” he says after a breath–voice barely above a whisper–and you feel your heart stutter in your chest. Is this it? Is this the moment he breaks through his walls and fights for what he wants? Fights for you? Wonwoo clears his throat, and you wait, breath held, for him to continue, “at least until you can find something better.”

The hope you had built–a delicate house of cards stacked on his words–crumbles and you can feel yourself physically deflate. “No,” you shake your head, “thanks but…I think this will be good. I feel good about it.” You’re not sure who you’re trying to convince more with this statement.

“Well,” he nods once, slowly, one eyebrow raised in suspicion, “as long as you’re sure.” 

“I am,” you try and offer the most assuring smile you can muster despite how entirely unsure you feel about the snap decision, only letting it fall from your face once he tucks the last bowl away and slips into the dark of the bedroom. 

.

.

.

“Okay,” Jeonghan grins, taking the seat across from you at the kitchen table, “house rules.” 

After your last interaction with Wonwoo you had tried in vain to think of any possible reason you could back out of the spontaneous declaration of your new living arrangements. Even going so far as to dig through the personal ads on numerous websites, seeking any even remotely attractive alternative that you could use to move into immediately and hide your shame before it grew big enough to swallow you whole. 

It took only two hours and 10+ ads seeking “female companionship for free room and board” with blurry attached photos for you to give up and just message Jeonghan. To which he promptly replied with an ‘I knew I’d hear from you ;)’.

The move had been relatively simple after that. Jeonghan had roped one of your new roommates, a guy called Seungcheol, into hauling nearly all of your stuff down five flights of stairs to the moving truck you had rented for the occasion and then back out of the moving truck and into your shared condo. Two days and nearly twenty boxes later, you sit across from Jeonghan in the condo you were now going to have to call your home for the foreseeable future.

“Rule one,” he begins, holding up a finger to emphasize the number as if it wasn’t abundantly clear, “wash your own dishes. If the dishwasher is full and clean, empty it and then add your stuff.” You open your mouth, poised to speak, but he stops you with a dismissive wave of his hand, “I know you will, I’m not worried about you, I just have to be excessively clear on this point after the last incident we had.” Jeonghan ends the sentence with a somber shake of his head and you decide it’s probably best not to ask what said “incident” was.

“Second, the movie The Notebook is banned from this apartment.” 

“What? Why?” 

“The last time we watched it it took three hours to peel Mingyu off the couch,” he shakes his head, “trust me you don’t want to see a six foot tall man in that extreme of a state of distress. It’s…hard to watch.” 

“Okay…” the worry you had felt prior to moving your stuff into the apartment metamorphosizes now into pure confusion. You weren’t sure what exactly to expect living with four adult men, but suffice it to say this was not it.

“Rule three is simple: no overnight guests on Sundays.” 

“Why Sundays?”

“It’s the Lord’s day,” he explains, face showing no hint of a bluff as you flounder for a response, mouth agape. “Kidding, it’s really just because if we didn’t have a set day there would always be someone here with the amount of people that live in this condo. It’s just for my own peace of mind. Not that Dino was much of a concern with that and considering…circumstances you won’t be either.” 

“Got it,” you nod, ignoring the sleight and wondering if you should have brought a notepad. 

“Honestly, that’s pretty much it for the hard rules. Everything else is just…be conscious of the people you live with. But I know I don’t have to worry about that with you, you lived with Wonwoo,” he laughs but stops himself as your expression falters, clearing his throat with a cursory cough. “Anyway, we’re all really excited to have you here.” 

“Yeah,” you sigh, feeling the weight of the world settle back on your shoulders. You can’t remember ever being so tired. “Thanks again, Jeonghan, for letting me stay here.” 

“Of course,” he smiles, patting your folded hands in a gesture of comfort, “this is your home now, and we’re happy to have you.” 

You glance around the room, trying to place that word in with the surroundings you find yourself in. Trying to make it fit. “Home”. 

The kitchen is a good size, with more than enough space for multiple people trying to cook at once. The fridge is relatively new, stainless steel, and equipped with a water dispenser which was something you definitely did not have at your apartment (Wonwoo’s apartment, now, you remind yourself). The dishwasher is also a welcome addition, and you're happy with the prospect of not having to hand wash every dish you use. 

The apartment in general is in good condition. It is clear, despite your previous assumptions, that everyone here puts some level of care into their living space and you appreciate that. It makes you feel a little better about living with a group of men who (beyond Jeonghan) you barely know. 

But still, despite the relative cleanliness and general coziness of the space, it is still hard to envision yourself ever being able to fit the word ‘home’ here in these four walls. Home is still a word that until recently had only made sense in one place–in the arms of one person. And you had destroyed that. Chopped it's head clean off like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Maybe you don’t deserve the word anymore. 

“So,” Jeonghan begins, offering you a wide smile, “we were thinking pizza for dinner. Something fun and easy to welcome you into the place. Mingyu wanted to cook but I talked him out of it, it’s too formal. Mingyu and Vernon will be home later. I think you might have met them once before. Seungcheol you already know, he’ll be back later too, he spends a lot of time at the gym. If you ever need a gym buddy I’m sure he would salivate at the opportunity.”

You nod, unfocused. You’re following his words but your mind is a million years away. Jeonghan, tuned in as ever, notices you drifting and stops in his tracks. “You must be tired,” he concludes, a knowing glint in his eyes, “why don’t you head to your room and I’ll leave you be for a while. Let you get settled in. Feel free to come out and join us whenever.” 

“Thank you,” you breathe, already halfway out of the kitchen.

“I’ll call you out for dinner later, if you like,” he turns to you, a soft encouraging smile painted over his lips and you can’t help but return it in kind before disappearing down the hallway. 

.

.

.

Five minutes alone and you dissolve completely. 

Every emotion you had been holding back behind the dam of your desire to keep a straight face for the sake of everyone else around you floods forward as you unpack your first box and you fall onto your bed in a what can only be described as a fainting spell interspersed with waves of crying and not uncharacteristic wheezing. All thought to your roommates completely ignored in the midst of the hysterics. 

Somewhere in the middle of the wailing, you think you hear Jeonghan call your name through your door but you’re too all consumed by your sadness to reply to him. Instead you bury your head into your pillows like a flamingo in the sand to muffle the sound of your crying until you fall asleep with your tears drying to a crust on your cheeks.

When you finally come to, the sun is gone and your room is lit only by the light pollution of the city seeping in through your blinds. Your face feels swollen and puffy from all of the tears and your throat is sandpaper–for a brief second you’re afraid you might have lost your voice. A dull headache pounds through your entire skull. You feel as miserable as you’re sure you deserve to feel at this point in time. 

With a sigh you slide off your mattress, letting your feet fall to the vinyl floor with a thud and reach to grab your phone from the nightstand that Dino left behind when he moved out. 

A single text notification sits unopened on your phone. 

[jeonghan] there’s pizza in the kitchen if you get hungry. introductions can wait until tomorrow.

So they did just decide to leave you alone for the time being. Good. Considering your current emotional state, you didn’t think meeting new people was a good idea. The first impression was already shot since you’re sure they heard you wailing through the thin walls of the apartment. 

You consider just going back to sleep without any dinner, but your stomach answers the thought with an insistent rumble that you don’t think you’d be able to stave off for too long before it gets cavernous. You push yourself from the bed and pad out into the hallway–cautiously stretching your head out first to see if anyone else is wandering around. 

Three slices of pizza sit wrapped on a plate in the fridge, illuminated in the dark of the kitchen and you feel your sour mood lift slightly at the sight. You eat them cold, standing in your bare feet and wrinkled clothes alone in the kitchen.

The dishwasher is clean when you go to place the plate inside, but considering time you decide it would be worse to unload the whole thing for one measly plate so you run it under the tap for a few minutes–scrubbing at one stubborn spot of hardened cheese with the sponge. 

“I think it’s clean,” a voice calls out behind you and you startle–nearly dropping the dish in the sink at the sudden intrusion.

“Wha–! Fuck,” you exclaim, inhaling a sharp breath to slow your heart back down to a normal pace. 

“Sorry,” the voice chuckles, low and easy, and you find yourself praying that if you pretend he’s not there he will leave before you have to turn around and face whatever man the voice belongs to. “Did I scare you?” 

No dice. “No, it���s fine I was just thinking about something–” you pivot slowly on one foot and are immediately grateful that you’re lit only by ambient lighting, “–else.” 

Immediately upon turning around you come face-to-face with a dripping wet and uncomfortably bare torso. You snap your gaze up to his face, avoiding further eye contact with his nipples, and the knot of nerves in your stomach tightens. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he laughs again–casual despite his state of undress and your clear distress. You feel your head shake no without your permission, betraying you and forgiving the hidden apology in his words. “Not a great first impression, I gather.” His smile is bright, but a little lopsided and bashful. It conjures up images of your childhood dog when he would track mud in through the house from the backyard, eyes big and wet and brown and sure that any sleight would be forgiven immediately based purely on his cuteness.

“It’s fine,” you clear your throat, words finally returning to you, and glance around for a possible exit strategy while still trying to avoid staring directly at his (admittedly very well built) chest. 

“I’m Mingyu,” he smiles, extending a hand to you and you take it briefly, feeling the warmth of it on your own like a shock. Not an entirely unwelcome one. 

“Mingyu?” you ask, partly to clarify and partly to give yourself a chance to regain your thoughts. You notice his hand is still in yours and you drop it, letting your own hand fall back to your side–flexing the fingers as if to shake off the warmth of his.

“Yeah,” he laughs again and you wish he would stop. 

“You live here?” 

“I do,” he nods, still smiling. “That would be why I am standing in the kitchen at 1:00am.” 

“Oh, umm…yeah of course. Yeah,” you slide sideways against the counter behind you until you’re no longer parallel to him, preparing to bolt back to your bedroom at the slightest provocation. 

“Anyway, sorry we had to meet like this, it’s not really ideal.” 

“No,” you shake your head–thoughts numb from hours of crying and the shock of his arrival in the kitchen. 

“We can re-do our introductions in the morning, hey?” There is a hopeful lilt in his voice and you can't help but agree–feeling a little like a nervous rabbit being placated by clumsy hands. He steps aside and you slip past him, grateful at being on the other side of the kitchen and not trapped between his body and the counter. “Sleep tight.” 

You feel his eyes lingering on you as you shuffle back to your bedroom, but you resist the suffocating urge to turn around and check. The door closes behind you with a soft click and you lean all of your weight against the wood, unsure of your legs' abilities to keep you upright for more than a second longer. 

“Fuck,” you whisper into the darkness and are answered by sirens as they race by outside of your window. “This is not good.”

© 2023, neoneun-au. all rights reserved.

#svt x reader #wonwoo x reader #mingyu x reader #svt fic #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader

[denizenhardwick]

☕ 👻 ⭐

Ooh, thank you!! :D

This is all going under a cut because my favorite passage is from the end of chapter three of On Broken Bones Built Paradise and spoils a massive plot point, so please read that if you haven't and care about spoilers ahaha

☕️- favorite passage

Why? Why couldn't he move? This was his job. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one who could kill zombies without remorse, no matter who they’d been in their past life. That was the role he’d taken up that day on the roof, when he bashed his crush’s head in with a shovel.

But standing there, alone in the emergency bunker and faced with the zombified remains of someone he'd loved so much, he felt weaker than ever before.

He thought of the hours he’d spent just sitting in Mr. H’s office after school, reading while he graded papers, even though Joshua didn’t even have his class that year, and how he felt just a little bit less unwanted; he thought of the advice Mr. H had given him that day before he went to the roof, which now felt so trivial when that ended with a shovel to the head.

He thought of the after, of Mr. H helping him through tears and vomiting and panic attacks he didn’t want anyone else to see.

Mr. H took another staggering step forward, and adrenaline shot through Joshua’s body, enough that he was able to grab his shovel and raise it for the killing blow. But as he found himself face-to-face with Mr. H, only a couple feet separating them, he hesitated.

And, led by rotting teeth set behind decaying lips, the zombie lunged.

AAAAHHHH okay that was probably more than necessary but I just love this whole scene so much, because it basically deconstructs Joshua’s whole character in the fic, both to the audience and to Joshua himself? Up to this point, Joshua’s narration is very blasé and unemotional because Joshua had been suppressing so much of himself as a way to cope with the trauma and his ongoing need to be able to kill zombies for the sake of his friends. But that all comes crashing down here, and it results in him getting bitten, which links his mental health with his infection, something that will be super important if I ever finish writing the sequel because he’ll have to grapple more with the effects of his infection in that.

.... And now I really want to work on that sequel lmao

👻- 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet

For a moment, Neku couldn't move, couldn’t breathe, transfixed on the blood spreading out across the pristine marble floor. Then the silence was broken by the sound of Joshua's shoes against the tile. He strolled across the room, ever-so-casual, and took a seat on the throne, a sinister, satisfied smirk spreading across his face.

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration?

I don’t really know, honestly. I just... get ideas sometimes? And if it’s something interesting, I’ll develop it more in my head and then maybe write it. But I’m mostly fueled by my hyperfixation, to be honest. I can’t stop thinking about twewy and I love making up stories and AUs.

#asks #purplelea14

[collymore]

Intentionally overlooked, and even quite cherished sexual abusers operating freely in the family home!

By Stanley Collymore     Quite truthfully, what was it     really like or distinctly still     knowingly is, undeniably     within your very own familial home;     or do you effectively, basically prefer     rather ludicrously, deluding yourself     that the very opposite, is literally the     reality as you distinctly, indifferently,     and rather blissfully, carry on living     in your noxious state, of deniabiliy?     The mothers; step-mums as well as     those female guardians undeniably     in all of these nauseating sex abuse     cases by actually biological fathers,     step-dads, and also live in lovers to     these aforementioned 'ladies' quite     definitely: in my honest, forthright     and logical opinion, unequivocally     know or if these abuses were then     in the distant past; knew perfectly     well, what exactly in undoubtedly     the two instances, was going on!       But the feckless, immoral and     evil cowards that they are     they basically haven't     got even the rudimentary principles     or guts to actually stand up for their     daughters, sons, or essentially those     children, who're entrusted to them!     Even crucially, and vilely choosimg     in the vast, overwhelming majority     of instances, that this abuse carries     on; for with the quite malevolently     egregious abuser undeniably more     fervently involved elsewhere; they     would aptly, be sexually left alone!     Now, take a long; undeniably hard     for literally numerous numbers of     you; and likewise an unrestrained     warts and all, quite simply, honest     look at yourself in any mirror and     truthfully, then hopefully respond     to this essentially crucial question     which I am now candidly publicly     and most specifically so obviously     unapologetically positing to all of     you but quite concertedly I freely     and likewise also rather willingly     admit, to the Daily Mail's, usually     pestilent and puerile aficionados:     where do each of you irrefutably   stand morally and solely relative     to both sets of these inexcusably,     truly evil, noxious, sub-humans?       (C) Stanley V. Collymore     31 May 2023.         Author's Remarks:   When it's considered quite au fait and similarly distinctly elan to court, have sexual relations with, have as your own lover or mistress; effectively marry and have offspring with, fully cognizant all along that they are your own biological and quite invariably as well your quite close blood relative and such deliberate family relationships were to effectively supposedly and ludicrously consolidate you specifically prized bloodline and as well ensure your massive and distinctly unearned and unwarranted wealth did  stay quite irrevocably within that exact family, it should come as no surprise to anyone with a truly functioning brain within their head, that essentially such persons perceived as their divine rulers and societal leaders would set the basis and the trend, obviously in an ongoing process, that the surfeit of very gullible serfs, commoners, plebeians - call them what you will - would earnestly follow; and they indubitably have done so.       Incest is rampant across Britain and too within its kin, genocidally acquired and now quite exclusively controlled global seizures like Australia, New Zealand, in Canada and undeniably the anglophile areas of the USA and South Africa, just naming a few along with Ireland.       And basically accounts overall for why British courts are essentially evidently lenient towards the offenders, of whom there are both males and females let's not forget, and explains exactly why all these commenters on these right-wing rags and electronic media happily lay the blame at the REAL victim's door; and rarely that of the perpetrator.       Sick Britons and their global kin firmly ensconced in the Middle Ages in more ways than just subservience and gross fawning sycophancy to their ardently perceived societal betters!       It's totally morally offensive, similarly too, essentially personally as well as culturally anathema to me entertain let alone realistically effect the reality of actually courting, having any kind of a romantic relationship with far less so indulge in a heterosexual relationship - quite specifically no other kind for me I'm afraid - consensually or otherwise, with someone who I'm even remotely so biologically related to; and why I ask myself would any sensible person quite logically and intelligently want to do so when there's literally a surfeit of actual clearly perspective partners to lawfully satisfy one's emotional or carnal needs globally? Beats me!       My Barbadian cultural upbringing not only induces me to have an instinctive and reciprocal respect for other human beings of both sexes but indubitably so and quite importantly as well, my very own biological family members; and consequently we don't and never will as Bajans - the quite affectionate name which we nationally and very proudly call ourselves - see any of our biological relatives as relatively potential lovers, sexual partners or marital spouses. And furthermore, even members of the very opposite who we literally grow up with in our own communities are distinctly off limits physically and emotionally as we essentially see them as brothers or sisters and never as sexual partners or potential spouses.     And it rather literally and significantly does account undoubtedly for why our quite beloved homeland, Barbados has one of the very highest and distinctly so most impressive genetic pools and also attendant with that per population also has the world's highest number of very active and likewise physically healthy and well educated centenarians. And the exceedingly proud, industrious and moral Bajans that we are; we intend to purposefully and intelligently carry on respecting the status quo while doing, as usual, our very best simultaneously to improve it in every way we can! Not for nothing is our National motto: Pride and Industry!

#inspirational

[differentwombatluminary]

Cultural Greetings in Africa

Inhaltsverzeichnis

African americans

Greetings in Northern African countries

great service

These figures embody a classic tension in Urhobo aesthetics – they are fearsome to humans, but beautiful to the spirits. This figure, which has a hollow core, may have been used as a reliquary—a container for human remains—among the Bembe people in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The family of an important member of the Bembe elite would have commissioned and displayed it.

Africa is much more than destination to us - it is our home, our family, our passion. The most common sign of greeting in Africa is the handshake.The handshake should be firm and you should look straight into the eyes of the person greeting you. There are some cultures however where the women are not allowed to interact freely with the men, so don’t take this as a bad sign if you run into such a situation.

Sculpted out of wood, the dog has been carefully covered in animal fur, creating a graphic mimetic effect. The dog’s tail stands nearly upright, signaling a commanding and attentive posture. Most striking, however, are the antelope horns, stuffed with medicinal substances, videobotschaft aus afrika as well as the metal blades that have been affixed throughout the dog’s trunk and underbelly. This wooden figure depicts a female with a strikingly large, balloon-shaped animal skin sack tied above the crown of her head.

The royal court of Benin and other Nigerian officials have been demanding their return for decades. The act or process of restoring or returning human remains or cultural artifacts to their country of origin. The pandemic has exacerbated several ongoing global challenges. The intense wave of infections in China has impacted up to 900 million people.

Want to know more? Wish Happy Birthday with the video message of African Boys

Through this service, you can count on us to guide you in every step of the process. Treat yourself to a one-of-a-kind adventure you’ll never forget. So contact us today to make sure you don’t miss out on the trip of a lifetime. Africa is a dream destination in every sense – home to unforgettable wild animals, extraordinary scenery and beautiful people.

As an epidemiologist and infectious disease doctor, I focus my work on analyzing infectious disease transmission through multiple forms of data.

Shrine figures could be installed in pairs of male and female, which together manifested the martial power and fecundity of the spirits.

And because they depend on public resources to help them reach the city, they often miss appointments when roads to their villages are flooded by rain or the vehicle provided by SESAI isn't available to pick them up.

Some people who recover from COVID-19 infection have other lingering and often debilitating conditions.

They'll learn from it and use it to contribute their ideas. Local governments, I wish you'd pay for that free access to lead to a free flow of education and ideas. This greeting is used when a young person is greeting a significantly older person. Young people everywhere like to make language sound cool. We send each video to the client individually by email with a link to Google Drive.

African americans

A medicine bundle carrying feathers and a horn hangs behind the figure's back. This particularkakudjiis emblematic of the northern style of Kusu woodcarving. Its large belly suggests pregnancy and therefore evokes maternity, fecundity, procreation, and the continuation of the family line. Most remarkable, however, is the massive animal skin balloon resting on top of the female’s head; this pouch, along with its embedded horn, contains ingredients specially crafted by the medium to activate and energize the spirit within. The crown of the head, and to be more precise, the fontanelle, is regarded as the site of communication with spirit entities. This power figure, orkakudji, is attributed to the Kusu from the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

My wish for 2023 is for more investments in long COVID research and provision of support to sufferers. And I wish that efforts to document experiences of long COVID should be extended to Africa. Ensure that the most rural of the rural can connect to the internet for free and in locations from schools to libraries to parks to bus stops.

Each case study is updated regularly as we find out more about the histories and potential paths forward for each of the artworks. Please check back regularly to follow our research as it develops in real time. An in-public investigation into 11 African works of art from UMMA’s collection. Perhaps more pertinently, Morocco's success should hopefully inspire other African teams and provide a blueprint for how to harness talent. At the time, we didn't know which teams would reach Qatar from the CAF qualifying program, although we tipped Algeria, Senegal and Nigeria among the hot contenders to break new ground at the global showpiece. With 2023 firmly underway, ESPN's Ed Dove looks ahead to the coming 12 months and reveals his big wishes for African football this year.

Iranian women are protesting for the right to make their own choices. Taliban leaders in Afghanistan instituted a nationwide ban on girls' education. Discouraging as these realities may be, my wish is for people to remember that courage is stronger than fear. Just One Africa’s mission is to partner with local leaders to create sustainable solutions for orphans and vulnerable children and the clean water crisis. Our vision is to inspire the individual to effect change, resulting in thriving communities with access to clean water and capable of providing for their basic needs.

Greetings in Northern African countries

The duration of the video recording with wishes is seconds. To extend the duration of the video for an additional fee, contact us by email. We prefer to not simply be a click and book company, rather, we are genuinely interested in a tailored safari experience the exceeds your expectations.If you have any questions, simply reach out. Every trip taken through Wishing for Africa, helps sustain this dream.

However, there's been a lack of transparency from CAF about where the financial support for the project will come from, not to mention exactly how a single league will fairly represent and remunerate a confederation with 54 member federations. There's doubtless immense potential in African club football, and there's cautious enthusiasm on the continent about the prospect of a new, lucrative, pan-continental league. The North Africans, led by FA President Fouzi Lekjaa, have invested in the Mohammed VI Academy, in footballing infrastructure, the logistics around the national team, and the competitive domestic league to help Morocco punch above their weight. Our first wish for 2023 is that the Atlas Lions can build on that remarkable performance to ensure their campaign in Qatar is not an isolated success but rather the beginning of a marvellous cycle. Celebrated across various countries in the African continent, the occasion of Africa Day is the yearly commemoration of foundation of Organization of African Unity.

I highly recommend their services if you're looking for a way to surprise anyone at a special occasion. It would be great to have a space for additional requests, such as emphasizing more muscle or something else. The people in my video didn't seem as motivated as in the Instagram videos, but it's not a big issue in my opinion.

I hope people learn to forgive or go easy on themselves for what they did in their survival mode during the pandemic, then work to heal and move on. This is very essential to our holistic wellness as a society. Taking care of oneself shouldn't be seen as selfishness but as self-preservation and not necessarily "me first" but "me too." May 2023 be good to us all. Especially now, when women's rights are worsening around the world.

#Youtube

[jukemaid]

juke’s great ffxiv persona au masterpost

ok here we go

disclaimer as before my oc my wol my beloved tiamat is a big part of the story but not the main character, more a deuteragonist. g’raha gets to be the protag bc he just has that face. she’s the wol in here just like all my other works but is of course way different than “the wol” in this context since. that is not a thing. anyway

general setting and characters are the same as canon ffxiv. it takes place in a modern universe so everything is adjusted for that. all the races are present and for simplicity's sake i've given everyone a boring human lifespan, tho there's probably some worldbuilding shenanigans to fill in the gaps and callback to ffxiv (for example: there's some historical evidence that suggests viera used to live for hundreds of years, but since it can't be proven it's a matter of ongoing debate). overall the world doesn't super matter for the meat of the au but it's good to have the foundation

the story specifically takes place in sharlayan, which i imagine to be a somewhat rustic mid-sized college city. it boasts some of the most prestigious schools in the country and cost of living is through the goddamn roof. to live there you have to have roommates or get really, really lucky with scholarships that are as rare as winning the lottery. the leveilleur and baldesion families are the two Big Names there and they own various universities and institutes and housing. the baldesions aren't as wealthy or powerful, but offer more benefits to students at large regardless of their financial status or background. the vast majority of scholarships come from their programs and funding. on the flipside it's near impossible to get anything substantial out of the leveilleurs bc they're extremely picky about what to put their money into. there's a stigma surrounding hem as a result-- that the only people in their good graces did some shady under the table shit to get there. the bad part is they're not entirely wrong, but it's not bc of the leveilleur family themselves but associates with too much power and too little supervision.

the cast consists of all the scions from 2.0+ onward, with varying degrees of relevance and history. i'm trying to keep things like individual character development consistent with canon as far as timing and events goes, with some adjustments to be less bad. most are university students, friends/family of said students, or people with weird connections that just tossed them into the group. the scions were already established as an anti-shadow unit prior to the beginning of the story, so there's various relationships and dynamics for our dear catboy protag to learn when he shows up. only a handful of the scions are persona-users, with the others involved by their request (read: refused to take no for an answer) to provide means of support outside of battle.

and battle! i decided the Shadow Place is gonna be WORLD OF DARKNESS, and otherwise 13th inspired, which can be accessed by rifts that have been suddenly appearing across sharlayan with no discernible cause. touching a rift causes the person to warp to the world of darkness, which is like a fucked up spooky dilapidated version of sharlayan. except there's no other people there and it's full of shadows trying to kill you. anyone without a persona who falls in there is guaranteed to die, since the smaller rifts are a one-way trip. the scions have personas with support abilities that allow for an artificial rift to be opened and closed on command, from the outside, and that's how they explore. also most of them call the world of darkness "wod" (pronounced like wad) and it annoys y'shtola specifically.

the defining event happened four years prior to g'raha (designated fool and wild card) coming into the picture. it was catastrophic and massively traumatic, causing the deaths of some of the original scions, yda and minfilia, as well as their founder, louisoix, and kickstarted a lot of off-screen events that will come to a head later. suffice it to say there was a lot of anger and interpersonal conflicts in their group afterwards, leading to the severing of friendships and some notable persona users outright leaving. over the last few years the atmosphere HAS settled somewhat, but bad blood is still very much present and not everyone wants to talk to each other.

characters and things they do and! i forget characters all the time so if i missed any (and i def missed some) don't worry about it

original scion persona users: y'shtola (empress): magic dps and heal. uses agi. current team leader urianger (hierophant): heal/support. uses zio thancred (emperor): physical dps and debuff. uses slash yda (strength): physical burst dps. used strike papalymo (tower): magic dps and debuff. uses bufu

new scion persona users: alphinaud (justice): heal/support. uses hama alisaie (magician): mixed phys/magic utility. uses slash, zio, and agi krile (temperance): navigator. can open artificial rifts g'raha (fool): wild card. starting persona is mixed dps and support. uses pierce and garu

??? persona users: tiamat (death): mixed phys/magic dps. uses slice, agi, and mudo. current field leader estinien (hermit): phys dps and debuff. uses pierce ysayle (moon): heal/support. uses bufu and hama zenos (devil) phys burst dps. uses slice and mudo

non-persona users still involved: louisoix (aeon) minfilia (high priestess) tataru (fortune) moenbryda (chariot) arenvald (star) haurchefant (lovers) aymeric (hanged man) lyse (sun)

and more.................

some various details that are important to the plot: -tiamat was supposed to be the wild card, but the Thing four years ago exploded the possibility of her journey and caused her arcana to settle as death. neither she nor anyone else knows that she was the og fool since she didn’t awaken back then, and only g’raha (as the current fool) could possibly learn of this at some point. -g’raha moved to sharlayan thanks to a baldesion scholarship and connections through krile who, as the granddaughter of the founder, pulled some strings to help her bff out of an otherwise tricky situation back home. he has never met any of the scions and only knows about them based on what krile said. -alphinaud and alisaie attend a nearby high school after kicking a fit (or, alisaie kicking a fit) over not wanting to go to a faraway Fancy Private School their father picked out, bc they wanted to stay close to their grandfather’s legacy. much like in canon, they’re both chasing down what exactly louisoix was so invested in... which gets them into the persona business. -tiamat is the only member of the earlier scions group to not technically be a scion at all (since it’s a funded university group for current enrollments) and also not be in any kind of school. she’s just there

#ffxiv #ffxiv persona au #will be updated now and then