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#i have no one to blame but myself but GOD it doesnt feel good
oflgtfol · 2 years
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god LMFAO i have so much homework due in my german class that i HAVE NOT done all fucking semester there is no physical way for me to do it all in time. im taking the L in this class man i seriously think i might get my first C ever. in german of all fucking classes
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posallys · 3 months
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all right here is my word vomit live watch
IMMEDIATELY i am slapped in the face by toby stephens as poseidon i am FERAL
THE LUKE AND PERCY PARALLEL “LOOK, YOU DIDN’T WANT TO BE A HALFBLOOD” OH MY FUCKING GOD
THE MISSING LUKE AND PERCY TRAINING SCENES OH DEAR LORD THANK YOU THANK YOU
“When am i ever going to use this” percy i LOVE YOU
“So you can use them against your opponent” OH BOY
Finally some action i love a good sword fight
But where's annabeths necklace imma kill people
Ooh some god strength okay okay tasty
HELL YEAH POSEIDON POWERS FUCK HIS SHIT UPPPPPP 
“I WARNED YOU. IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, YOU'LL FIND OUT WHO I AM” OH I LOVE THE ENERGY YESSSS FUCK YEAH
GO OFFF PERCY 
“AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A KID”
Ares didn't curse him i hate it here
OH WHAT IS THAT VOICE
OH MY GOD THE CABIN SOMEBODY SEDATE ME
this can go one of two ways
“Violent seismic activity” MMM YUMMY
UH HULLO THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED ALECTO!???
I lied there was a secret 3rd way this could have gone and it happened 
OOP THERE’S THE NECKLACE
“Where's the glory in that” wow tell me you don't understand Percy's character without telling me you don't understand Percy's character 
“I don't have an appointment” THATS SO FUCKING ICONIC OF HIM
Wait i kind of fuck with this olympus i was picture all white and pristine but this FUCKS
“SHOULDN'T THEY BE JUST AS AFRAID OF US AS WE ARE OF THEM” OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT 
“you're learning fast” OH MY GODDDDDDDDD
“Things that are small and scary….” BROOOOOOOOOOOO
the show has rights for the luke and percy content and posally and percabeth and that's IT
LANCE REDDICK ❤️❤️❤️ greatest of all time rest in peace ❤️ (you'll always be Cedric daniels to me)
Ohhh king he does a bad ass zeus
Where's poseidon though DONT TAKE HIM FROM ME 😭😭😭
Lance ily
Lance reddick zeus you're perfect to ME
OHHHHH YES GOOD SHIT
percy jackson king of audacity 
AGHHHHHJJJDHH POSEIDON I LOVE YOU BRIAN BROMEN OH FUCK YES IM. SNKDKKWKWJFKMQ3LI4HRND IM VIBRATING NRJNW OHMYGID
IM THROWING UP OH MY GOD
“I SURRENDER” OH BROTHER DO I HAVE THOUGHTS THOUGHTS TOO MANY THOUGHTS FUCKKKKK
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD IM GOING TO PUKE
TOBY STEPHENS LOVE OF MY LIFE
I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE UNWELL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
SHUT UP NOBODY TOUCH ME
“OBEDIENCE DOESNT COME NATURALLY TO YOU DOES IT” ohhhhhhhh brother call me an ambulance 
“I must take some of the blame i suppose” so you CAN read the books you just chose not to for the other 7 episodes….
THE SEA DOES NOT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED FUCK YEAHHHHHB BROTHER
HIM ONLY UNDERSTANDING THE WORD FATHER IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM SOBBING 
POSEIDON SMILE IM DYING 
I DIDN'T LEARN IT FROM CHIRON AND THEN POSEIDONS FACE OH FUCK IM PUKING SHAKING CRYING
IM SO SO SO UNWELL IM LITERALLY INCOHERENT 
“Ares is a moron, as you noticed” STOP I LOVE HIM THERES THAT ASSHAT POSEIDON ENERGY IM LOOKING FOR
“of course we dream, why do you ask” “DO YOU EVER DREAM ABOUT MOM” I AM DEAD I DIED I ASCENDED IM FLOATING LEVITATING FLYING OH DEAR LORD OH MY GOD IM SO SO SO ILL
TOBY STEPHENS THE MAN THAT YOU ARE POSEIDON THE MAN THAT YOU ARE OH MY GOD HIM GOLDING PERCYS HEA DIM VIMITING SHITING MYSELF KILLING DYING DEAD DJFICJJWOKDKDJN FUCK ME FUCK FICK
TOBY TOBY TOBY YOURE PERFECTVTHE PAIN THE FACIAL EXPTESSUINNS IM DYING DEAD
THE PEARL KILL KILL KJAJDJWKKDJJDJDUEJJ2NH3H
I AM HYPERVENTILATING 
Not to be greedy BUT WHERE IS THE QUEEN AMING WOMEN WHERE THE FUCK WAS IT YOU CANNOT GIVE ME ALL OF THAT AND THEN NOT GIVE ME THE MOST FUCKING ICONIC LINE OF ALL TIME WHAT THE ACTUAL ABSOLUTE FUCK I AM GOING THROUGH SO MANY EMOTIONS WHATBTHEFUCK
there's still 20 minutes left taylor breathe it can still happen 
PERCABETH HUG MY RELIGION
annabeth luke percy trio is SOOOOO interesting to me
I hate percy knowing :( ur a bit too perceptive buddy but it's okay 
“I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D GIVE THEM TO GROVER TO WEAR” SHOOT ME IT WOULD PROBABLY FEEL ABOUT THE SAME
THE GODS ARE MY ENEMY, YOU IM HERE TO RECRUIT OHHHHH BROTHER
OH HELLO BACKBITER LORE OKAY
LUKE I GET YOU I UNDERSTAND
I MET YOUR DAD *SLASH* OH THEY GOT HIM THEY GOT HIM GOOD
LUKE PERCY FIGHT MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED IN THIS DAY
PERCY APOLOGIZING HONEY UR TOO SWEET
ANNABETH OH FUCK OH HELLO
So tell me what are the plans for ttc now lol
I HEARD EVERYTHING ANNABETH HONEY COME HERE I NEED TO HUG YOU
I must ask….where the FUCK was this energy the rest of the season this episode is literally so insane it almost makes up for the rest of everything
“How does she feel abt all of this” ooh yummy i like the foreshadowing 
“I imagine she's thrilled” WRONG thalia would stomp freddy chases head in if given the chance
LEAH UR BRAIDS ARE GORGEOUS
stop percy had HEART EYES 24/7 FOR HER IM GOING TO COMBUST
“JUST BE A KID” IM SOBBING
THE SEARCHERS LICENSE IM CRYING SOBBING UR PERFECT GROVER 
“I'LL FIND YOU” FORESHADDDDDDDOWWWINGGGGGGGG
“NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WE MEET BACK HERE NEXT YEAR”, OH I LOVE THEM IM CRYING SOBBING OH MY BABIES
MONTAUK IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF FUCK DUDE U CANT DO THIS 
i want poseidon to be there i know he wont be but i NEED it
Stop honey percy ilyyyyy you're such a sweetheart im kissing ur forehead and tucking u in
OH HELLO “IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP” WOOOOAHHHHHHHH OKAY
“WE'RE STILL DOING THIS” LMFAOOOOO
“TURNS OUT IM PRETTY GOOD AT THIS….COME FIND ME” CRAZY 
……MOTHERFUCKER if they dont show gabe dying im gonna riot
WHERE WAS THE REST OF MY POSALLY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 YOU CAN'T GIVE ME SOME AND THEN TAKE AWAY THE LITTLE FROM THE BOOKS
WHERE IS SALLY MURDERING GABE HELLO
AHHH END SCENE LOL AH THE BOX
THE IMPLICATION THAT IT WAS ALL POSEIDON……..WHAT IF I DIE OH MY GOD
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co27 · 2 months
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9 people you'd like to know better
tagged by: @funshinebf woah!! hey!! hi!! :3
a) three ships:
DELLUMBRA. my beloveds forever and ever and ever. an animator put della and penumbra holding hands in the chibi valentines day thing and its the only thing that matters for the rest of time. seeing them never fails to make me the happy smiler
spova... HRHGHGHHGHGHHHHH (STARTS CLAWING AT THE WALLS) im getting a bunch of my irls to watch the show with me and like how do i explain why sparx catching nova in circus of ooze makes me actually start howling in pain. the slow burn... the trust... the botched confessions the loss the self blame. oh god its all just so fucking painful forever ill never be over them
tomshiv :) theyre the perfect eternal punishment for each other and i love seeing them make each other suffer. the dirty talk scene in season 3 permanently altered my brain chemistry and tom wambsgans mr brightside is the greatest video of our generation
a1: bonus ships:
SERIREI :) save me serirei... serirei save me... such a classic i love those crazy businessmen. 2018 serirei was literally the perfect era like you had to be there
joongdok. thousand yard stare. ive been coming around to yoohankim lately too but i feel like a lot of content doesnt really capture what i like about orv so i dont look at or like a lot of the shippy content in the first place
gibotto
also gibson/sparx
b) first ever ship:
...... :( it was grey/juvia from fairy tail. yandere x tsundere was like elite to me. if i close my eyes and pretend im in a universe where fairy tail is good i can honestly see the vision. the first one that made me really crazy crazy about shipping though was germany and italy from hetalia unfortunately. sorry. and sometimes i fear i may never escape the annoyingly optimistic x grump who secretly likes it trope and its all their fucking fault
c) last song:
hello, i love you by adore delano. SHE JUST GETS ME
d) last movie:
uuhhhh fuck i watch a lot of movies absolutely baked with my friends so its hard to remember. i think everything everywhere all at once :) i sincerely believe it is one of the best movies ever made. STEPHANIE HSU WAS ROBBED AT THE OSCARS
e) currently reading:
cirice by madeline miller, i havent picked it up in months tho... and i keep telling myself im going to start one piece and dungeon meshi but i havent yet #laziness
f) currently watching:
sooo many things but im currently keeping up with season 16 of drag race with my friend. besides that primarily trigun stampede and hannibal because im watching those with my friends. and i count srmthfg again. but also dungeon meshi is on the backburner too. and a million other things like the boys and interview with the vampire... GOD THERES TOO MANY SHOWS GUYS
g) currently consuming:
idk waht this means. if its about eating then i have a big tub of cocktail peanuts that im munching on right now
h) currently craving:
DAVES HOT CHICKEN. SAVE ME DAVES HOT CHICKEN
9 people to tag:
um uh um uhhh @godza @morguerue @irradiatedsnakes @faglagomorph @treecakes @itaots @soulreaper @puppetlooselystrung @vampirewings and also anyone else who wants to talk about themselves yay!!! i hope its okay i tagged you heart emoji <3
easily copyable version under the cut for joy and prosperity yay
9 people you'd like to know better
tagged by:
a) three ships:
a1: bonus ships:
b) first ever ship:
c) last song:
d) last movie:
e) currently reading:
f) currently watching:
g) currently consuming:
h) currently craving:
9 people to tag:
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sea-dwelling-wizard · 1 month
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who are you?
call me wizard!
i go by she/her pronouns.
i live in the mariana trench. if you wanna visit pls make sure you have the correct equipment i am not responsible for any harm or injury
this blog is for me to infodump about my interests and talk about my passions and thoughts! dw it doesnt bite :D
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
what things do you like?
dancing with the fae, singing with the sirens, swimming with the ones down below, stargazing with myself, writing about realms beyond, sketching all that i see, summoning those above, coding the divine (HTML, PHP, now learning CSS!)
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
fun facts
im not aesthetic at all im trying so hard to make this look good rn send help
im super girly :D
im not a picky eater, but put figs in front of me and i will explode
fis
i love stuffed toys, figurines, and those of the like!! i still sleep with a plushie akajjshsh (its a whale plushie i love it sm)
i collect stationary. i dont use any of it
im thinking of opening a neocities but i dont know enough CSS to do that hhhh
im in a MASSIVE book slump rn 🙏im trying to get back into it thoo
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
important!
i don't live in the USA nor Europe. my timezone is in IST, so please be patient when you interact with my posts! i may stay up late on weekends tho ;D
i do not tolerate racism, transphobia, homophobia, sexism, TERFs, etc. on my blog. if you are an NSFW blog, you will be blocked.
i am a minor. please refrain from sending suggestive/graphic/violent asks.
on the other hand, please feel free to tag me in tag games!!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
some other stuff!
my favorite songs: reincarnation apple by pinnochio-p, non-breath oblige by pinnochio-p, god-ish by pinnochio-p, odo by ado, dramaturgy by eve, konoyo loading... by REOL, no title by REOL, wozwald by nilfruits, CH4NGE by giga-p, soleil soleil by pomme, hole-dwelling by kikuo, matryoshka by hachi
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
my favorite books: the midnight library by matt haig, klara and the sun by kazuo ishiguro, and tons more!
what i'm reading: the hobbit by j.r.r. tolkien!!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
my favorite shows: puella magi madoka magica, sailor moon, arcane, dungeon meshi
indie shows i like: helluva boss, the amazing digital circus, hazbin hotel, port by the sea (pilot stage), lackadaisy (pilot stage), ramshackle (pilot stage)
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
ABOUT MY WIPs!
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
beneath the waves, within this soul: book 1 of the Heavenly Tetralogy
The Abyss consumes. It gives no mercy for those damned.
The dark is home for Ourra, a trench-dweller with plans of chaos. Haunted by his mistakes, he yearns to make all well again.
Atticus, a lost soul with nothing to lose, enters the Abyss to save those he loves; for a price, of course.
So, what will it be? Love, or the pain of a man turned evil?
Progress: I'm on the second draft. I'm aiming to finish draft two by the end of this year, and (hopefully) publish it before i graduate school!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
on this sunset shall i sing: book 2 of the Heavenly Tetralogy
Having magic beyond the set boundaries of the realm you live in means high expectations. And when you break those expectations, it isn't pretty.
Now, the Impyreum is stuck in a state of chaos and darkness: who's to blame?! No, no, no, Apollo did not drown the Sun. That's what he said, anyway!
The First Protector sets sail for the seas to search for the missing fragments along with the smartest, dedicated, and the top investigators and strategists. Apollo is invited, and nobody really likes him for a while.
Where's the Sun? Will the light ever come back?
Progress: Nope. Nothing. I haven't even decided the team-
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
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𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Dive in!!! It'll be fun!!
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
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stitchwraith-stingers · 3 months
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i read in the flesh, so you dont have to
its no secret that in the flesh is one of the only things fnaf fans know about fazbear frights and its imfamous for its story (which i dont blame people to be disgusted about)
but have you ever wondered what it was plot-wise but you couldnt have been bothered to read the summary on the wiki, couldnt find the book on your own to read or you just didnt want read the main reason people hate it? no? well too bad
as your local faz fright fan i decided to reread it and make a (incoherent) post made in 4 hours talking about it just because, small screenshots included (trying to not focus enterly on that)
(DONT MAKE "hahaha springtrap matpat mpreg" JOKES ON THIS POST I WILL KILL YOU)
(cw for pregnancy mention and matt being an ass to women in general)
everything under cut
now the story just starts out with matt, our protag, telling us all about how hard game making is for a page or two, theres nothing interesting of note moving on
now right after this hes playing his game, springtraps revenge, a VR game which is just a maze with puzzles where you have to escape springtrap, and 1. i got jumpscared by him describing springtrap as hannabel lecter and 2. the fact that springtrap is described as 'a child of his rage' which i just find hilarious in a ironic way
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now in the game hes in a maze and he has to escape using 4 doors, and because its randomized he doesnt know which door would have the 1-in-4 chance of killing him, and long story short he looses! twice
he gets angry enough so that he throws his vr headset after the fact and when his coworker named jamie wanted to walk in to tell him hi he snaps at her
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and immediatly after this we get afew paragrapths talking about matt and his previous wife, hannah
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it starts off as cute, them both meeting in chemistry class in highschool, matt then started to have gotten bored of being married as it seemed to be the same thing every day, hannah having wanted kids and matt not wanting to
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now he has the audacity to say that her being pregnant that she would loose her petite figure and that she had called him shallow and threw a glass of water on his face (HONESTLY very deserved)
and he had met some woman named brianna as a friend which had led to them divorcing after their annervary because of hannah seeing brianna in a bikini on his computer (hi matt, i dont believe you about you and brianna just being friends. at all. btw.)
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women wronged by matt count: 1
(also i need to say this right now before anyone kills me: matt is written to be an asshole on purpose, i know that very well and it shows up how he treats people, i know its also in his perspective which is why everyone is described as it is, i know other protags have been assholes one way or another as most of my faves have been, i just dont like matt myself but if ur like one of the 3 matt fans ur cool with me and im not saying you cant like him just saying this so people dont tell me how dumb i am)
"Women were crazy, Matt had decided. And not worth the effort." GOOD RIDDANCE YOU ARE BITCHLESS
and now because of how lonely and frustrated he feels he uses his VR game as a way to deal with it, but with an actual quote "It was the cruelest of ironies that the game—much like his relationships —seemed to have turned against him."
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ok but these quotes sound kinda metal. moving on
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having been mad that springtrap killed him for the 3rd time this book he decides to change up the coding, so that springtrap can just, walk around forever in the maze and spedup the gameframe by 1000 so is like extra sad i guess, matt talks about himself like a god controlling a rabbit which i found kinda funny, (the voice of woody) YOU! ARE! SOME! GUY!
now here we meet the next important side-character called jason, hes matts roommate he seems friendly and they seem to be on good terms so far
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he and jason watch TV and he thinks about how it was like in collage, "no complicated female emotions" having takeouts and TV and video games all day, however as time went by those feelings of being carefree are wearing off,
but thats unrelated as theyre watching the TV show he thinks about how violent it is and fantisizing how he wants to kill springtrap, which is hilarious to me.. “i saw him kill me in the vr game!!!” girl… what were YOU doing progamming him 👀 /ref
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now a tiny timeskip, matt is back at his job and he is testing the VR game again, he is excited to see springtrap run around in circles like a lost child or whatever and gets a surprise
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gonna be honest i think thats kinda metal how it sounds (if we ignore how the story is gonna continue for a moment) why is this the 3rd time i see disembowlment in a series i like.... 3rd penny.... werid it happened thrice
tldr springtrap has been making a clone of himself very so often and killing himself which is funny out of context because all it has as a game mechanic is to chase you and kill you, and the rabbit is now gone and apparently not in the code and considering matt has a deadline he is screwed and he goes in the vr game and just finds him . disembowled and gets an electrical shock
ANYWAYS. NOT IMPORTANT ITS TIME TO INVOLVE MORE WOMEN
jason has been setting up matt for a double date with two girls: eve and meghan, and matt is not happy that eve is his date (which im gonna assume its a blind date? not specified)
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and the first thing he does is look at this girl, go "wow she fucking sucks" and starts thinking about the woman on his roommates date
"matt couldnt figure out why she didnt sound ehtusiastic" i am going to killl you........ and then kill you again
anyways they both take their own cars to the resturant, eve and matt just have a talk thats like "you work on fnaf? my brother loves fnaf" "what do you do" "IT, jason thought itd be nice of us to know" "tech is the last thing i want to think about when im home" "me too"
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this made me giggle. moving on
matt and meghan get the same food while jason and eve get spaghetti and matt is just like "yknow what, maybe i should have gotten the hotter one"
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so matt is like "cant have a goodtime without money" and eve is like "thats not true :>" and matt in his mind is like "what the hell, how could she do this to me"
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now for the rest of the date matt just goes on and only talks about himself, eve and jason both go to the bathroom and this is where he starts to try to impress meghan
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matt is that "you not rockin with me ?! im gonna kill myself" image personified
women wronged by matt count: 3
and now this is where the pregnancy symptons come in, feeling quesy, he drinks coffee and has toast and is sick, deciding to go to work untill lunchtime and nothing had worked at this point at all, nothing too interesting to point out here
obvously now matt is irritated again, given how he cannot fix the damn thing, gary, a unimportant guy you wont see him again after this, comes up to him and asks "heyyy watcha doing!!!!!!" meanwhile matt is trying not to throw up
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(oh and also gary is described as having ken-doll like hair which is hilarious to me, love it when they give the most random descriptions to characters who will never appear again)
while hes waiting for gus to make his food he looks over at a totally-not-pacmac refrence from a arcade machine nearby and is like "oh i could have reprogrammed springtrap in, how couldnt have i thought of that" and how this time he 'wont antagonise the rabbit' which i find funny cuz in the game he IS the antag but i cant be bad
WE INTERUPPT YOUR BROADCAST OF MISOGENYSTIC GUY GETTING HIS WORK FUCKED OVER TO BRING YOU: GENE!!!!!!!!!
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tldr this gene guy is a hacker and gets a copy of springtraps revenge before the release date and just finds a dead disembowled springtrap which i can only imagine as this fucking screenshot and its sending me
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anyway he opens the files and just finds one named "its_a_boy.exe"
did you like gene? you did? too bad, were never gonna see this guy again, say bye to gene junior
back to your usual broadcasting of misogynistic guy getting fucked over at his job
now matt is on his 2nd date with a girl called madison, matt being so hungry, orders some real cooked steak and madison is like i just want a salad please ^_^ and matt asks about what madison eats and is shocked that she spilts a burger when with friends (cuz hes so hungry at this point)
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these sentences amused me, moving on
also in this i realised whoever made that one post saying "i need these books to stop using the world belly" was right. who says "Well, you won’t hear it long because it’s going to be in my belly" on a date
belly counter: 1 (for good mesure)
he just, eats the steak for a good few paragrapths, lies about being anemic, madison leaves cuz her cat is sick, hes still so hungry, theres nothing else to note of here, moving on
he wakes up, notices that he has gained afew pounds and goes to throw up
jamie meets matt and matt is like "listen im nausiated alot and starving and gaining more weight do you know any virus like this" and jamie is like "idk but you look yellowish you might have jaundice dude"
and a meeting has started, gary (hi gary again i lied he comes back a 2nd time) is like "so the game is doing well, springtraps programming people have said isnt that well, thats what beta testers said idk" and matt is like "what the hell shut the fuck up ur making it up" "how about you not talk to ur supervisor like that" and he just zooms out of there idk
he goes home to eat, again, he is no longer hungry and: ladies and gentlemen welcome jason again!
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GET HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DESERVED
right after this based jason moment matt gets a headache, not before getting a beer oh my god i cant believe i forgot about the belly counter
belly counter: 3
anyways next mini arc, matt at this point cant put on most pants, but manages to find some for his next date, with a girl named emma
so he and emma are at a bar, matt noticing immediatly that she is ""chunky"" , leading to this convo
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and nvm i cant post anymore images sorry guys ill have to put them in another reblog its so over link to that will be here if you wanna look at them
(1) emma sees him and is rightfully concerne about him leaving this early and matt goes. "you should have posted a image on a dating site not 25 pounds ago" OK. WHAT
and emma just goes . "you know you are a hypocrite right" meanwhile he is like "im leaving goodbye" and has a scene the equivalent of ripping ur pants out in public
(2) lol even
women wronged by matt count: 4
matt goes home, gets changed and tries to take medicine for pain relieve and instead gets more pain, leading to the infamous scene
but wait before that i almost forgot:
belly counter: 6
the infamous scene isnt that, bad? ive seen people act like if its some unspeakable horror
matt goes into the kitchen, grabs a knife, goes on his back and disembowls himself / gives himself a C-section or whatever, almost the same, and fleshtrap is born, or something
(3) i would have expected it to be afew more paragraths if this was the case w how people describe it, its like people going "look guys this CANT be a kids book it has PEOPLE DYING" and its just like this,
(not saying you cant be grossed out im talking about the guys on freddit making the most batshit theories talking about it like its some unspoken thing, thats what i mean)
(4) and it ends here on a, id say pretty nice ending, the investigators are asking what happened to matt with jason, noticing some slimy fur next to him, honestly on its own i like it tbh
and that was the end of in the flesh 👍
MY THOUGHTS:
it was ok, no strong opinions on this honestly, had some banger lines,
and my hot take but the pregnancy thing isnt really a pregnancy? i dont know how to describe it, but it was more like, a whole entity growinh up the whole body and not like, just from the abdomen which would have been described differently, to me atleast thats how i saw it idk i might be wrong
considering it seemed to have been fully grown enough to be able to move on its own and speak, and the fact that it was described as something INSIDE him (5) so idk, idk
and it wasnt even that horrible, they dont mention it often and it isnt that in detail if you ask me, everyone is just like "OHHH THE HORROR YOU GET TO SEE SPRINGTRAP BIRTH" but again if you still cant handle it i cant blame you you do whats best for ur health
honestly i know it does describe fleshtrap as a newborn infant and the whole its_a_boy.exe thing it makes it confusing to me, the best i can describe it in my opinion is like those horror alien movies where a guy gets infected with a parasite and another alien comes out of his ass or something, yknow
(again if you just want to form ur own opinion on that for whatever reason, you can skim the story cuz this isnt like, THE best place, just a summary for anyone curious enough to read like maybe 2k words about this, dont fully trust me this isnt even checked to see if it makes sense as sentences)
tldr: i myself dont imagine it was a pregnancy, but like an alien parasite thing, if it makes sense, i might have gotten confused about what the writers ment, i dont think the scene was THAT bad
in the flesh was a story about a guy who had all his relationships tumble down not only by his frustration with them, but his frustration with the way he programmed his game, leading him to be isolated and depressed after everyone had left him on his own
as for more silly opinions on this story that arent that important
hate matt glad they got the job done of killing him off for me, i hope every girl danced on his grave, i hope jason is living his life and i hope gene junior out there if living his life, why was belly used 6 times and stomach was used like 3 times
stan robert the cliffs and sylvia your the band instead and i need everyone to hear my idea of a hannah/madison/meghan/eve/emma polycule
ok im done wiring this its 23:17 rn and i couldnt be bothered to wait next morning to recheck everything if you see any spelling mistakes no u do not
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krushkreates · 2 years
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some post-inversion david x angel bc i like hurting and making yall hurt with me
tw/cw: post inversion, mental breakdown, ptsd, anxiety, night terrors- it’s a wild and long ride for this one.
INVERSION AND POST-INVERSION SPOILERS
angels been david’s pillar after the inversion. and honestly? i felt that. anyways, since david’s got a small security job, angel has the house to themselves for the day. it’s quiet. they’ve taken a nap, done laundry, cleaned, even made some food. they get a phone call from their best friend. it’s all fine and dandy. they know david’s been involved in an attack (or the inversion if they’re an empowered person) and that it’s been a rough time to say the least. they both go silent for a moment before they ask “angel, how are you actually doing?” and the floodgates open. angel confesses through these heaving sobs that they don’t sleep at night because david wakes up. sometimes he’s screaming, sometimes he’s half-shifted. sometimes he’s thrashing and growling. then the crying hits for hours and the suns up by then so there’s no point in going back to sleep because angel has work in an hour. they take a nap on their “lunch” that’s really maybe 15 minutes long so they’ve got 5 minutes to shovel in something so they don’t pass out. if they’re lucky they sleep in the car for 30 minutes once a week. their phone is always on the charge because they’re so scared they’ll get that call again that somethings happened and won’t know if he’s okay or god forbid even alive. the only times they really fully shower now are when he does because he doesn’t feel safe being alone and he’s usually needing to be under warm water. the therapist said it’s a good way of feeling safe so that’s what they do. angel doesn’t remember the last time their muscles fully relaxed or their head wasn’t hurting or part of their shirt wasn’t wet from tears. through all of this, they never once blame david. but they’re so tired and angels curled into themselves, shoulders shaking and eyes watering.
it’s so hard to be someone’s support when you yourself feel like you’re crumbling but what good is it to complain when you weren’t in the ward? you weren’t in there so your needs don’t matter? the front door opened about 10 minutes ago and while every fiber of david’s being is screaming at him to go comfort his mate, he stays, partially hidden by the wall that separates the front door and hallway from the kitchen. it’s a rare moment to hear angel genuinely express what’s been on their mind about all of this. he’s told them time and time again that his trauma doesnt mean they weren’t affected. now angels apologizing to the other person on the line but it’s just so damn hard because “i don’t remember the last time i got a full nights sleep or actually let myself cry and i don’t remember to take my fucking meds anymore because i have to make sure he does because i’m so scared that i’m gonna lose him to the aftermath.” it’s silent in the house and angels wiping their tears and apologizing again and shakily laughs at something the other person said. i’ll be alright, they reassure them. i love you and i’ll talk to you soon okay?
he takes that as his cue to start walking but all he can think of is how hurt they are. he takes a glance at their wide and bloodshot eyes and finally notices how dark the rings are and when did they lose that much weight and they’ve put the mask back on, asking him about his day and how the job went. he holds them so tight and apologies fall so fast out of his mouth and now they’re crying again and he’s fighting back tears but the therapist said that holding in emotions is bad so now they’re both crying on the kitchen floor. he’s hurting and they’re hurting and he’s hurting because they’re hurting for him. they know angel’s prone to anxiety but when you’re fighting for your life in your mind, you get tunnel vision. he notes that they never once blamed him. no accusatory fingers, no clipped tones of vehemence, no sagging shoulders when he asks them to come back to bed for a minute, no dry attitude if he comes home from the office early in tears. no stiff shoulders when he’s hugging them. none of that. always warm, soft, and caring. healing.
the kitchen tile is cold through his jeans and angel’s gripping his shirt the way he did the first month after. how animalistic emotions make a person. he’s sorry and they’re sorry and while wounds don’t heal proportionally to time, they heal eventually. they always do
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scalproie · 7 months
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FINAL(?) THOUGHTS ON MK12
the story in general: enjoyable if you take it as face-value and dont dig deeper than the surface level, also if you dont have any passionate attachments to what came before.
the earthrealm champions storyline: genuinely liked it. Kung Lao/Raiden/Johnny/Kenshi's introduction and characterization were strong enough to carry them through the story. It was pretty easy to fill the gaps between timeskips and the dynamics were enjoyable
the outworld storyline: lots of players in this one but having a clear villain (shang) that ties everyone's motivation together makes it easy to follow. Overall I did like it.
the lin kuei storyline: as per usual, its isolated from everything else, but it's given NO screentime to actually develop, and even seem like an afterthought. I'd even dare say that with a little tweaking, you could remove them completely and the story would be no different. The only thing accomplished here is making explaining who the characters are harder than necessary, and I swear if I see one more person with vague knowledge of what theyre talking about trying to explain them to people who know even less and getting it absurdly wrong because of this game, I'm going to lose it. By far my biggest disappointment.
The timelines shenanigans: in a weird limbo where it's simultaneously too much focused on and not touched on enough. It felt like it was here for spectacle rather than smth they genuinely wanted to explore, but then again we have one interactions thats kinda sweet and satisfying. Overall, the entire story revolves around this so its pretty solid? but I also did not quite like it on a fundamental level. So it was... whatever.
INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS:
Liu Kang: the closest thing we have to a clear protagonist, as he ties everyone together, which is fitting for his role both out and in-universe. I dont mind him even tho he is definitely flawed as its impossible to write a character with that much control as 100% good (we wouldnt have a game otherwise). Think he shouldve kept the white god hair tho.
Raiden: his role being switched with liu kang's was expected and the logical following of their storyline in mk11, I am more than fine with that. Raiden feels like himself in a different circumstance. I sure do wish his electricity was inherent to him and not the product of an amulet tho, I have no idea why this change was made. I did like him overall.
Kung Lao: Kung Lao is consistent in his characterization and this familiarity made me like him even more than usual. He gets really sidelined early on but I know the chapter system is to blame for that. There is a lot of cute moments involving him.
Johnny Cage: god, the writers fucking ADORE him do they? As one of mk's sole comic relief characters, I get he is the only one able to deliver a bit of comedy to the mix but fucking hell they almost abuse him in that regard. BUT they also give him a shocking lot of nuance too? The scene with his future ex-wife and everything involving kenshi? He gets a LOT of screentime and development and he is nothing BUT characterization, hence why, as someone who doesnt care that much about him, at one point it starts to feel really fucking unfair. Johnny is fine but I have to check myself because if I get too much exposure to him (which is inevitable) he genuinely starts to piss me off so fucking bad
Kenshi: he's fine. Kenshi here, like Johnny, is a character that isnt tied to anyone else, so the both of them having a joined development thats resolved in this very game is pretty good. I dont have a lot of things to say about Kenshi, he complete his arc and gets his job done in the narrative.
Geras: Geras has only been in one game prior so he does not have overwhelming expectations weighing him down. I really liked him here, his relationship with Liu Kang really does both of them favor.
Sub Zero: Bi-han fit the antagonistic role he was given well enough. Sadly it comes at the price of his already feeble reputation of an originally neutral character. But even when I lower my expectations, here he is given no nuance and no room for growth, not in a satisfying way anyway, as things are right now. The "depth" (read: one or two lines) he is given feels more like inconsistence on the writers' part than him having complex feelings. As usual, he COULD have been great, but he isnt. I'm really disappointed.
Scorpion: Utterly Unrecognizable. He is not fully Kuai Liang on account of being Scorpion, and he is not fully Scorpion on account of being Kuai Liang. This isnt a character, this is a checklist: 1) get the scar (Kuai Liang part) ✅️ 2) be shirai ryu (Scorpion part) ✅️. He is the only character to be given this treatment, or at the very least, the only one where its THAT noticeable because he is made of arguably the most popular characters of mk. We are missing CRITICAL parts of his and his brother's characters to make us care (his motivation comes from an unknown and unseen dead father that never existed before and such a massive big deal is never given development or focus, despite being all they're talking about), their entire storyline rely on nothing other than the HIGHLY popular rivalry between "Scorpion" and "Sub zero". No love and care was brought to his character, nor his brothers', nor his storyline.
Smoke: Smoke... sure as hell was there. Personal thoughts: but the more time passes the more I Do Not Like his characterization. He is written no longer as an equal to Kuai Liang but as what I can best describe as a sidekick, even moreso than usual thanks to him being written and played as younger than the brothers. Yet another thing I dont like about the Lin Kuei storylike. Literally miss (bi-han) after miss (kuai liang) after miss (smoke) for me. They're out.
Hanzo: genuinely ask yourself. Are you happy that hanzo is here? His presence in mk12 is the same as nrs holding up a cardboard picture of him so people wont be mad that he's absent. Everything that he had has been given to "scorpion" aka kuai. He cannot be important because he is young. And when we get a timeskip of him being finally being older then what? The only thing people want of him is dying and coming back as an angry wraith? That's all he is and will be? I'd rather have no Hanzo at all rather than him being stripped of what made him him and used in an unsatisfying way.
Harumi: Harumi went from being the wife of Hanzo Hasashi that dies to being the prize of Scorpion's character. She is finally given development but said development is so confined to the game she's in that it doesnt even matter to me, adding to the fact that they're going in a direction I find boring (to my tastes) with her.
Kitana: she was also there. Which is surprising because kitana always felt like... the protagonist when outworld was involved? While I understand her role, I personally am not that fond of her being relegated to a supporting character.
Mileena: she is an entirely new character with mileena as a basis. I think her story has holes but on the surface it gets the job done. She is definitely one of the more focused on character all the way til she gets her own chapter to conclude her arc, and she has plenty of relationships to bounce off of, so she's definitely one of the more rounded characters here. I dont mind her, but I cant hide personal pettiness that her popularity mightve been the reason why she's so important.
Sindel: I genuinely DID like sindel but I look at her and in the back of my mind there is always the devs' voices going "sorry sorry sorry". Still, I liked her. I liked her death also! It made sense and, while I think it couldve been done MUCH MORE EMOTIONALLY, Im fairly okay with the way it was done. Idk if her being a flawed leader is completely a feature or a bug but I did like it!
Li Mei: I literally did not care that much about li mei until the revelation that she and sindel used to be friends, and then a lot of things clicked together, so I would say THIS was good. Other than that, li mei is whatever to me.
Reptile: one of my main issue with him just boils down to him being hot. I do not mind him having one big monstery form and one human form, but the two are clearly not treated equally, and yeah yeah I know its easier with a human model or whatever BUT LITERALLY BARAKA EXIST. So him being "good looking" 75% of the time with sad backstory and an IMMEDIATE nice an easy going personality (even tho imo he should maybe be a bit angry and grieving that his fucking family died in the living forest until at least his own chapter) = the writers trying too hard for me to give him my sympathy. And I dont like being forced. Aka reptile lost most of his edge with me, it's like hes trying so hard to be likable he has no flaws and so he annoys me a bit in return. But I still like him. I SHOULD love him, so much even, but when I try there is always smth bugging me. I want him to be more fucked up, and no, eating a bug once (1) doesnt count, its what should be NORMAL for him.
Tanya: she's so weird to me. Tanya is mk12 is like, if she was from a mirror universe where she was the good version of an evil jade, if you get what I mean? She's not tanya in almost every way, yknow? Also, usually if you think the writing staff do anything with shipping in mind, you're reading too much into it, and shipping itself is not smth that's seen with respect... BUT THAT BEING SAID I genuinely wonder: if tanya/mileena had never been a thing, would they still had picked tanya for this role, or would they simply just have picked jade.
Rain: to fully appreciate rain you have to hunt down everything involving him in mk12, cutscenes in storymode, endings, intros... my man literally has SO little. But. What he has is literally so inoffensive to me, I actually quite like this rain a lot. He has his own thing going on and I like the direction it took!
Baraka: his inclusion feels like mileena's story was thought of first, and baraka's was built all around it to support it. No, I still dont like the tarkatans being a leprosy allegory now, and no, the new identity Baraka has doesnt do anything for me even if (or because) it was made completely out of nowhere for the purpose of mk12. People dont want SOME characters to suffer (even tho it makes for an interesting story), but when baraka is reworked into doing nothing but suffering, nobody bat an eye because he is no one's favorite. Also he is severely underused in story mode, where he could give us more insight on tarkat and the flaws of the regime, but doesnt. He also helps the earthrealmers out of the kindness of his heart but it really does feel a bit forced, especially when intros show he is not actually that kind in general. Still, just like reptile, I liked baraka.
Shao: funnily enough shao is given interesting depths in this story, but because shao has been an absolute fucking bastard in his 30 years of existence, nobody seems to notice or care. But I Do, despite myself I notice and care about whatever weird thing shao has got going on this time around. I know he has to be a lil bit problematic in there if I dig a little but nothing BIG on the surface so far??? And its the addition of MISGUIDED BUT NOBLE GOALS in shao that were previously non-existent thats so fucking weird to me. I'm literally looking at him under the microscope.
Reiko: Jobber Supreme. Reiko was funny. He is carried by his relationship to shao but it could legit be interesting so yknow what Im gonna let this silly fucking guy entertain me. What can I say, I like when villains have positive interactions and relationships.
Shang Tsung: Shang Tsung (both of them) was funny af. 10/10 no notes. Extremely entertaining. No fucking redeeming qualities. Critical amount of Kunt being served here. Evil and having fun about it. Caught being stupid in 4k by his own self. His plan(s) was pretty straightforward and I can appreciate that. I have nothing bad to say about Shang.
Quan chi: Quan chi was there to make funny faces and be mean gays with Shang Tsung. I dont mind him. Him being an outworlder and "turning white" is not smth I enjoy much tho, whats wrong with him being tied completely to the netherrealm?
Ermac: his design is something you eventually get used to. But as soon as you do he fucking get That Face. I swear I almost end up hating Jerrod in spite because of how they used Ermac. I cant deny it technically makes sense why they wouldve used him like that but I cant help it, I Did Not Like It. didnt liked it in mk9, dont like it now. I think I wouldve liked more the idea of Ermac being influenced by Jerrod rather than him being downright possessed by him. My opinion was much more scathing before the leaks but I have since calmed down a bit. But Ermac gets treated so badly in this game, he actually gets all my sympathy and more, compared to other characters.
Ashrah: Ashrah is okay. I like what she adds to the earthrealm team (and god know they needed her bc damn this was the no girls allowed club before she showed up) but I'm not sure I would enjoy her on her own without someone to bounce off of. Because she also was a character whole neutrality got removed to make her a fully good-aligned character. One thing that really endeared me to her tho was her "I've never had a home before!" line and the genuine happiness she showed there, I wish this part of her had been more explored. And she is also one of the characters that gets a lot more fleshed out in the intros to me. But still, like I said, Ashrah was okay.
Nitara: yeah the megan fox voice acting is objectively bad but it could also be way worse. I know its different bc this one is just an optional skin and not the character's actual voice but fucking listen to JCVD's voice acting. As for nitara, Im really sorry but it feels like she is just here to fill a niche, and said niche being "fanservice". So i'm really sorry for people who like her but yeah she is outshined by her VA and the "well she is a 3d era character that hasnt been shown for awhile so lets bring her back for the people" sentiment. As for her role in the story, I know we need jobbers but she is so isolated from everything they could remove her and it wouldnt change anything. Her personal motivation is not even given the time of day even tho it's the ONLY thing she has, so yeah Im having a hard time to care. Which is sad.
Havik: as soon as I saw his bio I knew he was going to be done dirty, the trailer he showed up in implied it but him having such a sympathetic backstory all but confirmed they were gonna go the "guy with good reasons to change the system fucking take it too far so you cant endorse him" trope with him. Everything with him seems a bit random (which is ironic considering he is mr. chaos) like, why is scorpion the one to give him his iconic open jaw look? (It also cements scorpion as the checklist character ngl). Anyway I do understand the reason for his inclusion as well as the story needing jobbers, doesnt change that I still think he's whatever tho.
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ha-youwish · 15 days
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This is not a vent post, it’s a book recommendation and self-analysis kinda. Please consider reading this, I won’t blame you if you don’t.
Last year around this time, my granddaddy passed away. Usually, online and in formal spaces I would call him my grandfather, but that’s not what I call him and I will not limit myself for this post.
Last year around this time I was beginning my second semester of college ever. I was not doing so well. My grades were low because my attendance was abysmal and my work outside the class was shit. However the previous semester I had taken a class that I was able to stick around for more than the rest.
This class was studying how different major religions and cultures coped with death and how they thought of the afterlife. I bought the books for that class with financial aid and never read them.
Just now I got done reading one of the books, When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner, never read it until I found it sitting around today.
It’s a relatively short book, under 200 pages, about how Kushner deals with the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” from his place as a rabbi.
Now I don’t have any sort of relationship with god. i’m not strictly atheist or anything but i tend to believe in whatever religion people want me to believe in if they ask me to pray for them or a family member.
when grandaddy died, i had nothing to fall back on. granddaddy was extremely religious and generous, i am so incredibly grateful he was involved in my life and there for me. but people from his church said it was a part of god’s plan or that there was a reason he passed when he did and when i was in such a low state at college already.
i moved away to college and the landlord sold my home. i was in an unfamiliar uncomfortable place where the only place i felt fully comfortable was now completely inaccessible. my mom moved in with grandaddy and took care of him before he passed. it was tense. he was kind but old and stubborn and so is everyone else. the drain of taking care of someone can be worth it, but that doesnt mean its not there.
i was, and am, dealing with severe depression surrounded by other gloomy people who didnt make it much better. i never went to class and i had, and have, crushing guilt that i was wasting the time and money of my family.
and then granddaddy went to the hospital. and then he died. and its unfair.
all of it is unfair, and if it was a part of gods plan then hes fucking unfair too.
now, i have not necessarily moved on. my fingers shake still if i think about it too long. i dont even know if im going to post this because of how exposed and raw i feel. but its important to me that somehow in some way this gets expressed and that someone other than myself will read it.
your suffering was unfair, whether it was a lot or a little. the world is unfair. we all know it. i hope you know that you will never be able to look into the eyes of someone who has never known suffering, and i hope you can find some comfort in that connection.
this book is from the point of view from a religious man. it talks a lot about a god i dont believe in. but the way it talks about suffering and how it effects people makes it helpful for me to parse my own feelings and thoughts.
so feel free to replace god with whatever you want, with humanity and spirit and the universe and everything good. here are some quotes, alt text included:
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- sometimes i convince myself that what i feel is nothing more than chemicals, that the regret i feel from not driving home the day before and visiting before he passed was just something my mind is doing.
i once stayed up late at grandaddys house after he passed and i was shoved right back into school like my life hadnt just gotten its shit rocked.
my mom was in her room asleep, but i really couldn’t take it anymore. we stayed up late just talking through how we felt after i had cried to her. and to be completely honest, hearing that she had regrets and wished for just a little more time fucking sucked. knowing the people around you are going through it sucks, even if it was to be expected
but we connected over that long early morning. we resolved almost nothing. i felt the same as i did before and granddaddys still dead and buried. but it was easier to go on after that.
another quote, a tldr if you don’t want to read the book but want to understand what he gets at, in the end of it all.
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i dont think i can forgive other people for being unfair, not without effort. but i think i can forgive the universe because the unfairness is proof that people have choices. shit happens, you choose what to do after it.
for a lot of people, mourning and religion bring them the strength to move on, as he talks about in the book. things dont get better because of prayer that god will fix everything or the universe will set itself right again or you can escape through fantasy books to another world,
they get better because something gives us strength to get up again and keep moving. to kushner, thats god and people who came together to support him. to me, i dont know yet, i dont know if i’ve really started to pick up my life yet. but i think this book helped me start to see the bigger picture
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Text
Nightmare part 2 (Part one here)
Dont repost anywhere online or print reblog snd feedbacks are welcome.
Warningw are angst a whole lotta angst steve thinking the reader(female wanted to hurt herself she doesnt) Steve being a Shmuck and thick headed. Steve completely missing the points.. so hes basically acting like a man lol
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"It wasn't that,"   I paused.  Trying to figure out how to expain this to Sam in this "counciling session" on an empty flior witj two odly shapped red couches, modern isn't word maybe avant gauard. They face eachother and almost come to a point at one end which is why or how rather Sam and he4 were so close together I know steves job. I qlways knew it and it wasn't  that. I wouldn't have even dated him if that was an issue. I mean it's  sorta like being a cop but he comes back to me dirty and bloody its not even the dirt. Its the blood. Like ," I paused and its his blood. Its not like he says its not my blood. He just i hate seeing him covered in blood walking around like it's....paint from working at a preschool with kids. And the way he treats me. I felt like he more or less pushed valium on me. I mean i know if I had said no he would've gone ok but then listed why I shud take it Nd hiw itll help make me feel better. Like I just give in not wanting the conversation because its not the conversation I want to have with him even this he just told you he didn't  talk to me first rhat you should talk to sam hes a counselor or talk to someone like he thought I was going to kill myself and this is hw he handles it. Know I know why he goes through girlfriends. Man doesn't freaking talk." Sam just kinda stared at me listening and nodding. "God I'm sorry Sam," I dropped my shoulder and put my head in my hands. "I know you and Steve are best friends and I dont mean to talk about your best friends like that it's just frustrating. I feel like we're  playing a game of freaking telephone i say something he tell you then you tell me theen I tell tou and you'll tell him and then hell talk to me i mean it's  just." I was getting frustratingly upset.... if that's even a word. "Hold up. First I'm  not going to tell Steve shit. As far as I'm concerned  this session is between you qnd me. You could tell me you killed someone and I'd  say nothing ok. And secondly. You're  right. Steve should have talked to you. And he never shohld pressure you to take meds. The dude's intense. If you feel like you need to give in to him or else. It's not healthy. Look I love Steve like you said he's  my best friend and as much as I... your relationship isn't  just about him. It's about you too. And if you can't  handle it you can't  no one will blame you or fault you. Especially Steve.
"Sam you dont get it. He." I swollow  "I mean we're living togeather. I thought it was fast. But I'd felt so happy around him and I thought I wanted that all the time but it's it's  not like that." "Did you tell him how you feel?" "Oh yea sam that make sense. How many hydra ya kill save any  hotigaes by the way btween you relaxing for 12 hours mission deprefeffibg and then the next brief  and sleeping and eating cause you you leave again in two days need to tell you you gotta talk to me diffrent. Bye have fun.' When do I talk to him?"
"You need to look I know Steve he doesn't want yiu to be unhaply. He's  doing what he thinks is good for you. But if its not you need to tell him."
"How. Can he join us? Like here come to one?" Sam sat up to tell her no. "Well I-" "Friday where is Steve?" "Captain Rogers is in the gym." "Can you have him come up to meet me and Sam?"
Sam watched as Steve entered the room and  she started to shrink a bit. Her shoulders dripped a little she curled up a bit. Even after Steve gave her a kiss. Before sitting on the couch across from Sam.  "What the hell is going on here?" He thought watching the strong girl who insisted Steve come dissapeared. "How's  it going? How do you feel babe?" While Steve had his hand on her leg and looked at her briefly he immediately looked at Sam.  She watched the scene. Sam gestured to her She looked at Sam, who only provided two words- “Go on" "Steve, wa-" she took a deep breath looking at the floor. "Why didn't  you talk to me and go right to Sam?" "Well you said-" "I’m not suicidal. I was talking about us. I-" she paused and sighed, "I dont think I can do," she took a breath "us anymore. You didn't even think to talk to me? And you just." She looked at Steve and he was just taking in the information. And trying not to show how hurt he is. Another girlfriend leaving. "Steve you, you just. I felt like you forced the valium on me and didnt give me a chance to think. And everytime I say no it's  an argument and its besides the fact that it woudir wouldnt help. I just felt like I had to give in. I had to take it. But this Steve?" She gestured. "This is  beyond ridiculous. And you don't get it don't get how... isolating things can get either I everyone hates me the agents treat me like a, I dont know and, your teemates?" she finally turned and looked up at Steve  and sighed,  "I mea. Minus Sam I- Steve no on wants me here." She starts to tear up. "That's not true." "Steve you don't  see it. "The other agents just stop talking when I'm around. Someone told me your other girlfriends got agents in trouble and on desk duty so they're scared me of me practically or mad I don't know all I know if I'm universally ignored... by everyone." Steve opened his mouth to say something but she continued, "And the rest of your "team mates"," she used air quotes, " the avengers. I see how they look at me. Tony side eying me, Nat is constantly sizing me up. I know Bruce is quiet anyway and Clints been nice but I haven't really seen him. Haven't met Thor so..." She leaned back and crossed her arms with a huff. "Well I-" Steve didnt know what to say. His eyes were blinking.  The only thought  that he had was- "So that's it its over?" She rolled her eyes, "That's what you took from the whloe thing is that we're over?"
She rolled her eyes, "That's what you took from the whle thing is that we're over?" "Well yes." His eyes were wide unable to understand why she didnt understand his concern was for her to be with her fuck the of the team, screw the other agents. He wanted her to stay. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. And Sam could see she was getting angry and Steve was missing the points. "Ok lets take a breather. Steve she was saying that she feels alone not welcome which we can address with the team later,” Sam looked her way with an assuring nod. “But, did you hear what she said about what you did by comming to me?" "Yea that she meant it was us and not her." "So you 100% thought she was going to harm herself?" "Yes I -I mean she never..." "Never what Steve?" "Never said she was unhappy with us and  when I heard her say she couldnt do it anymore I was scared terrified that I'd  come back one day and find her on the floor. I've" Steve turned to her, took her hand which she allowed. He moved towards her and caressed her cheek. "I've lost so many people. I've  lost so many soilders or have had them wounded and then now agents get hurt and we lost them sometimes, I lose them but I can't lose you.  And the thought of you being scared snd unhappy to the point where youd end you was terrifing. Morr than anything.  Friday wouldn't know if you took a razor or too many pills. And I'd walk in from a mission and find you gone id never be able to forgive myself. So the first thing I thought was to get you help and I know you and Sam do get along and he's  my best friend. And I love you." "So you thought shouving a pill down my throat was ok?" "I know Valiums helps people and if yoh were sleeping you couldnt hurt yourself while I was at the briefing. "But Steve if you really thought It was that bad why didn't you talk to me?" "I didn't want to waste any time. Time is too precious to me." She "Then why are you never there?" She was raising her voice,  "And You thought shoving a pill-" "Lets all just calm down," he turned to Steve,  "Why didn't you ask her what she meant. And she said she feels like you are very, well what did you say?" "Distant at time. Forceful and you dont think about me. And you're always gone." Steve for once has no idea what to say. "You're overwheling Steve. It can be too much for me." "How am I overwhelming and always gone?"
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charmanderxerneas · 9 months
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(going to be tagging this as ruin spoilers but please dont comment any spoilers because we're not actually done with all the game. We've gotten 2/3 endings and are working towards the secret ending where you have to find hidden cameras while also replaying and seeking out the secrets we missed. This is seriously just insane ramblings aimed at no one i just need to get my thoughts out and suggest u scroll past.)
I seriously like. Am struggling to figure out the whole plot of ruin in an analytical story timeline sense. No i do not read or care about fan theories, i interpret the game and the lore by playing it and looking at all the clues myself thank you very much, so my interpretation of the lore is. different from most fans (you have to consider: very autistic, fnaf a Huge special interest for me. So when i analyze lore, i analyze as much as i can, every single secret. And i feel like a lot of people Miss main lore secret plot points. Im not trying to be a contraian, id love for the fans to have good theories. But like 70% of the time they dont. Or theyre dumb lil kids who blindly listens to mat pat)
my interpretation of sb is different from most fans and theories (mostly because I actually take help wanted and ar into account and can like. Use my brain to understand the differences between the vanessas (there are two. The murderer vanny, who we play as in help wanted, is referred to in ar, and is the one in the therapist tapes) and vanessa the nightguard, who's COMPLETELY unrelated and just an innocent nightguard who happens to have the same name and face as vanessa murderer (though it is also possible to me that like. Murderer vanessa chose to try to look more like nightguard vanessa in an attempt to shift the blame of her crimes, but we dont know this for sure.)and i dont think the therapist tapes are two different people because thats STUPID and it obviously is murderer vanessa (people just. Cannot possibly understand that a person being possessed by an entirely different entity might have changes in her prrsonality. Or that a person with anxiety might have something similar to selective mutism or at the VERY least: troubles speaking because of said murderer in her brain)
ANYWAYS THATS A HUGE ASS TANGENT. MY MAIN THOUGHTS AS OF PLAYING RUIN RN (Please dont spoil things for me im not completely done) is that mainly: i dont know who is speaking to us or who mimic is.
There may be two different people communicating with us with the vanni network (as evidenced by helpi changing eye colors and how like. Some of the motives seem conflicting?) Initially i was like "oh its glitchtrap or williams spirit or something." But that doesnt make any sense because glitchtrap gets Trapped and is worked against.
Even tho that was my first thought: i dont think mimic is burntrap, or william, or glitchtrap. But i dont know what it is, because there are no other obvious characters that it could be in mind (tho since its michaels old fnaf 6 restaurant theyre in, and we saw the blob down there, god knows it could be any number of old ass animatronics or spirits)
Another very fuckin obvious thought is: hey where the fuck is vanny. With the whole mask mechanic, the plot revolving around glitchtrap, ect, you THINK we'd see her st least once. And though she has a cameo in the bad ending which is clearly a vision/fantasy/trick, she doesnt actually appear. The INSTANT That we started this game i speculated: is she talking through helpi? The yellow eyes reminded me of an early sb teaser artwork where we see a close up of a vanessas face with striking, yellow eyes, and i was never sure the significance of that... But i dont think its related at all, as mimic seems to be the one speaking when helpi has yellow eyes. Is mimic related to vanny somehow? I wouldnt assume so.
Whats weird about vanny not being there is it makes it seem like shes not carrying out glitchtraps bidding, which is odd. Dont y'all come at me with that "Gregory helped her!" Crap, the burntrap ending is the canon ending so that never happened. It makes sense for her to be against him (shes never really been on her side, shes the RELUCTANT follower. She explicitly does not want to do any of the horrible shit, but shes beinf forved to) but i just. Gahh i cant figure it out
I WILL figure it out just you wait. I will figure out what my interpretation of the lore as so good as soon as I finish the game just you wait
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madame-fear · 3 months
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it's really really dumb okay- but i swear the dumbest littlest storytimes make me cringe the fucking hardest, idk why, maybe it's the autism /hj
it has to do with me, obviously. have you ever had an idea for a work you wanted to post, and had like THE IDEA itself but didn't know how to write it? to the point where you know it's going to be so fucking good but- the writing ends up looking like shit because you don't have any imagination on how to start it?
well if that's the case, thats what happened to me as well. i had an idea, really great one and i wanted to develop it. i spent an entire week (i had a deadline for myself in order not to spend too much time so no other could post the idea before me) and in the end, since the deadline passed, i forced myself to make a small drabble out of it and post it. i literally posted it and went to bed like, now its in the hands of GOD, that child is not mine.
for previous context, before i even thought of developing the idea, i made a small post on my dash saying this:
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(although it's an actual characteristic, like its not a headcanon or anything, its on their canon but everyone that wrote for that specific aspect wrote it with their own characterization / own take i did not want people accusing me of plagarizing)
and a mutual of mine said that please write it etc, i do not want to say the exact words in case they see this WHICH I HOPE NOT BECAUSE ITS NOT EVEN BAD BECAUSE IM CRINGING AT MYSELF BUT STILL
and i wrote it, super fast and badly, and posted it. and you know shit is bad when you recieve a: ooo that's good, from another mutual (not the one that left the note saying that please write it etc). BECAUSE I SWEAR IT FELT LIKE THOSE MOMENTS WHERE THE TEACHER DOESNT WANT TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY THAT YOUR WORK IS SHIT AND THEY SAY: it's good :)
NOT EVEN GREAT LMFAOSAO
the mutual that left the comment tho, they ended up liking my story- which i dont blame them, if i were them i would not even rb it myself tbh.
and the cringe only escalated from here, slowly but surely went up and beyond to the point where not even myself i could read that drabble and had it deleted it.
and you wanna know what's even more funny? (it's not). another acc, weeks later, posted a fic with the same fucking idea, just written with their personal style, and it has like 44 reblogs by now LMFAOO
my conclusion here is that whenever i remember that poor mutual that asked me to write the drabble for them and i did such a bad job that just recieved a like and weeks later found out another writer actually managed to acomplish what i wanted i cringe so fucking bad my eyes tear up
I AM FUCKING SCREAMING AND IN TEARS BECAUSE I GET THR PAIN SHWIKXEJIDKEKFI 😭😭😭
Like, you get an idea that’s so good to write, maybe a certain idea that hasn’t properly been written or one never seen before — the light of creativity is shred upon you blissfully. You tease your followers and people on the fandom about it, you prepare yourself mentally, wrap yourself around it because you know this fic is the one and true good SHIT; your best piece of work.
You have no idea how to put it in words, you just have the ghost of the idea lingering in you, so you try and prepare yourself so nobody else writes it before you. The time of putting it into words come when you think you are ready. And boom, you are staring at a full ass fic with disappointment, far away from what you wished and you are just like IN FUCKING TEARS FROM THE CRINGE.
HELP ME I SWEAR TO GOD THIS HAPPENED TO ME WITH THIS ONE EYED LORD LUKE FIC. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THE DARKEST FIC I EVER MADE AND ITS FAR AWAY FROM HOW I IMAGINED WRITING IT AND I AM DISAPPOINTED T MYSELF AND FEEL ABSOLUTE CRINGE I CANT EVEN READ IT QJNENDKAMNFJGDKSKJF
I feel you on the mutual being like a teacher, or like that one parent that goes "this is great honey!!!" but they obviously say it out of compromise 😭 Like it happened to me many times AND I GENUINELY FEEL EMBARRASSED WHEN MY MUTUALS READ MY CRINGY ASS WORKS.
I am actually certain your work was great! The thing is that maybe when we have an idea we haven’t seen before or know it might actually be good, despite preparing ourselves around that idea to shape it as we wish, we kinda hurry into it — so nobody else does it first like you said, and I can 100% relate. Or at least, that’s something I noticed on myself! Perhaps you can relate too? 😭
ALSO THE FACT THAT ANOTHER WRITER POSTED THE SAME IDEA AND HAS 44 REBLOGS I SWEAR TO GOD I WOULD BE CRYING KICKING SCREAMING I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPEBS LIKE ???? DOES GOD HAVE HIS FAVOURITES OR WHAT BRUHHH ITS NOT FAIR. WE PUT S MUCH EFFORT INTO OUR WORKS 😭😭😭 and surely the other writer too ofc BUT COME OOOON 🗡🗡🗡
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muuurder · 2 years
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HI ITS ME FROM EARLIER(like wayyy earlier)! (i shall give myself the name 'meatball'
okay so i genuinely have no idea how i didnt piece together him being autistic as well as having bpd. it makes perfect sense to me. i can see the vision fully. greta being his favorite person makes sense because typically, youd feel protective over someone you love. but brahms took the extra step. he would literally do ANYTHING for her.
i also think that the theory that he hates baths is wrong. i think it would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to stay clean while lurking inside walls which also probably have very bad ventilation, plus he isnt supposed to be alive, so... he doesnt have to opportunity to bathe. we've seen his parents and the fire happened when he was 8, so id assume he developed a few habits since he had such strict parents. they probably heavily enforced things like hygiene.
i also completely agree with him only killing cole. the fear of abandonment can make you say and do things that arent entirely healthy. people take his threats to heart and turn him into a monster but he killed cole to protect greta. i mean she did ask for him to help her. he didnt kill Malcolm, he was just in the way a few times. he had already been left by his parents, he couldnt lose greta too.
i just read your headcanons and THE COOKING ONE, I LITERALLY HAVE THE SAME THING TYPED UP IN MY NOTES. he is definitely a helper. i feel like hed stand there and wait to be given a task and as for helping, i have an image of just knocking on a wall and he just spawns like "yes did you need something".
also i can see him having a cat. youd be wondering where him and the cat are, meanwhile theyre both in his room in the walls, just having a good time.
~meatball
YESSSS. Especially about the baths oh my god. I said before but I think he’s very tidy and actually really enjoys being clean. Including clean shave too, which I can’t imagine how rough it must be to shave with his burn scars. They aren’t smooth at all.
As far as Cole, I don’t think he even planned to harm COLE either. He tried to scare him off, I’d wager he’s actually not all that violent by nature. I think the mixture of threat and the he’s taking her from me and going to hurt greta, and the shattering of the sole item that has ever been used to allow him makeshift connection (though I can’t imagine how much resentment he likely has for the damn thing), it all kinda came to a head. Cause mind you his parents also just died, he’s upset and angry like I can’t blame him and honestly good riddens to Cole. He was a bastard. Fuck around and find out imo.
I will offer you this, I think once he gets used to being out of the walls he won’t go back in too often anymore. Possibly might move out. He’s been in there for years, and I feel like the moment you have the opportunity to come out you won’t want to go back in. It’ll feel too cramped and possibly have trauma reactions. Once your out of survival it’s wild how your body collapses. I will say if he does use the walls it’s to be a cheeky bastard. The cat likely won’t go in, king loves bathing far too much lol (at least in my story line).
I also Headcanon he likely has sight issues in one eye (near the burn) and possibly asthma or copd too due to smoke inhilation on top of dust and low air quality in the walls.
Aka the moment you get him comfy and trusting you, y’all making a doctors visit. To what doctor you ask? All of them. Every single one. He hasn’t had medical attention since before he was 8.
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buckmepapi · 2 years
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IM. Not. Okay. I’m having an aneurysm. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. He came to my home for the first time last night. In my room. Where my bookshelf’s are.
He picked up a spicy book and asked why I had little post it notes on some pages. He got to the smut page. Fuck. My. Life.
He read a few lines, set it back (in the right place may I add!) tapped the book and said “that’s good to know”
WHAT WAS GOOD TO KNOW!! Home girl was getting RAILED in the book. I’m not prepared to see this man again
(Side note My Killer Vacation by Tessa Bailey is a good read 5/5 would recommend)
OOOOOOH CHILE ,,, that was spicy and he deffo seems like he’d be planning some shit 🍆
I’ve actually never read an actual smut novel, so I will 100 percent check it out !!!!
Also I’m gonna post some long soppy shit rn; I finally left that toxic ass guy back in April that I was seeing for like 4 years (some of u may recall posts I made bc literally every single one of u would reply to the posts telling me to get out asap lol) and I started seeing this guy in June and boy lemme tell you
He is a skinny nerdy tattooed guy that radiates alt dilf energy with his sense of fashion and has a big thick dick that curves lord have mercy
He is literally so emotionally mature, like my god he treats me like royalty and will do anything for me. He moans and whimpers when we fuck, he’s also starting to come out of his shell and talk abit during sex now which I’m dying over, he knows all my kinks and is on bored, even jokes about breeding and I’m like 👀👀👀👀👀
He eats pussy like a god like I’ve never had sex feel good before. I’ve spoken about sex before on my page and I was pretty much lying bc I was overcompensating bc sex has never felt good for me but everytime this guy fucks me I feel like I’m in heaven and I’m always saying “oh my god?” Or “how are you doing that??”
Side note; I still can’t cum though. It’s not really him bc he feels incredible when he does literally anything I get all over chills I just get too inside my head bc no one’s ever made me cum but myself but he’s getting their with praise and reassurance and verbal stuff like dirty talk etc so I know damn well he’ll be able to do it one day. He understands and doesn’t get defensive or upset and blame me , he listens to what I want and learns.
Like I can not reiterate how this man is so mature emotionally and mentally, he’s empathetic, we’ve cried in front of each other many times. He even cries when I cry lol, when I’m upset he crouches down in front of me and holds t my face and looks at me when he speaks to me and kisses my forehead and I AHHSJDLSOAJSKA
We’ve said I love you to each other now, we’re dating/seeing each other exclusively and have been since we first met. We aren’t in a relationship yet and we’ve discussed it before but due to our past issues we’re taking it slow and waiting till it feels right so we don’t rush into anything too quick.
And!!! I let this man sleep over at my house every weekend. If y’all know me y’all know I have insomnia and also can’t sleep around people whatsoever. I feel so sleepy around him constantly and fall asleep next to him within 30 mins — he literally makes my inner child feel so safe and protected.
He understands my disabilities, is learning sign language to communicate with me when I can’t hear, helps me when I’m non verbal, looks after me when I’m in pain or tired, he understands my sensory issues and doesnt say hateful things to me about my disabilities or triggers. He understands my CPTSD and helps me during episodes — this man !! Holy shit!!!
That’s why I’ve been so quite as well bc I’m so happy ;; he’s coming over tomorrow after his shift at work and will be here till Monday AAAAAAAA
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underscorecc · 30 days
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2.
ive reached another time where i feel like i need to vomit out all the shit thats been churning in my psyche. you know that feeling where you dont want to go to sleep because of this subtle sensation in your stomach? I think its dissatisfaction, both with myself and with the people around me.
the girl that i broke up with turned out to just be a hoe. She played w my heart and told me i was " the right guy at the wrong time" and that "she needed time to be single" and then immediately hopped onto some mid ass white dude LOL. anyways i fucking hate her guts. not cause she doesnt like me anymore, but because shes a damn liar. on a positive note it just means that little plot threat in my life has just been tied up, and now all i have to do is reconcile with the distrust for people that ive already been harboring, so nbd.
the ppl in my life kinda got me fucked up tho. right now i feel like theres no one genuinely there for me. I have a therapist, but you cant rlly get the level of intimacy with a therapist in the way youd have with family or friends. so right now i feel like i have nobody. my friends all suddenly seem extremely disinterested in talking to me. someone who i consider my best friend barely texts me and brushes off making plans and never reaches out. and my other friends just dont seem to really care or respond to me anymore. I get replies, but im not having conversations. it also seems like my mom is tired of me. shes even said it herself. she gets annoyed at a bunch of little things that i do. so i dont think id be wrong to assume ive become a nuisance rather than a valued family member.
it totally could be me. it totally could be them. it also totally could just be a series of unfortunate circumstances so ive been kinda torn trying to figure it out. I know im partially to blame. i can be overbearing and i dont know when to shut the fuck up. its hard for me to do genuine real talk anymore. I say "real talk" and then give advice to friends (probably unsolicited). but i never rlly talk about stuff that goes beyond skin deep. I talk about terrible moments in my life, like when i was sa'd or like something fucked up ive done, but its water under the bridge and doesnt rlly affect me anymore. i dont know, i just get the feeling that people will be repulsed if they see the real me. the me that is insecure and struggling and tired and angry. god im fucking angry, but im also so goddamn complacent, which is infinitely worse.
i am in the process of changing my life in a drastic way, which is needed. wont say how but it should shake things up in a good way. unfortunately its also partially a waiting game. so im stuck here in this in-between where i am given the privilege and honor of being alone with all of my thoughts!!!
i think i am having an identity crisis. I dont know what defines me anymore and i dont know who i want to be. ive thought about changing my name. im already changing what i wear (slightly). and weirdly enough even though i am a straight, cis dude, i occasionally have very very slight doubts about my sexuality and gender. its probably normal tho who knows.
I think this stems from a lack of masculinity in my life. having high free testosterone does not make me a man. being aggressive or stoic does not make me a man. but theres this concept of a real man in my head as something to aspire to be, but its an extremely vague and loose concept ive formed. despite being 20, i dont really see myself as a man. but im not a boy either. not to say im non binary. im just in this awkward in-between period. I wish i had a genuine masculine figure in my life who i could look up do. my dad is more like reddit atheist ben shapiro who debatelords me when he doesnt like me doing something. i dont live with him anymore so those problems are in the past, but the lack of a male role model is catching up to me, and its on me to define my own masculinity, but like fuckkkkkk i dont think ur supposed to do this by urself.
i been feeling mad weak. i always was a pussy on leg day and its showing now that i havent been to the gym for months. it really makes me feel pathetic. that 15% increase in struggle for things that i used to pick up with ease is really shameful, or embarrassing, or idk. it just fucking sucks. I want to be a strong person who cannot be surmounted, like a legendary dragon. But at the same time i dont know if these desires are my own or some responsibility i put onto myself as a means to gain social acceptance. its probably something i should put thought into when im eating enough and actually going to the gym, but i think ive been holding off because i feel so pathetic.
its a brutal cycle too. I feel pathetic from prior experiences where ive been demeaned (so a lot) -> i feel i dont have the grit or willpower to do something -> i try something thinking ill fail or just avoid it outright -> i feel pathetic. shit sucks ass.
anyways word vomit over thats p much it
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