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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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'VALENTINES DAY IS A CAPITALISM PLOT' YEY DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY!!!! good morning, my love, lets go riot! 'what if i dont' well... then dont.... 'HA HELP?' I MEANT THE DRESS TT 'i was ont he brink of tears' oooh poor girl TT im so sorry for your headache TT you did great with that fic. i never read it bc i had no mood for pedro but im sure. i trust you and your readers. youre amazing and funny so its the only logical way. 'NOW 7AM SUNLIGHT BURNS' got some freezy hugs from me idk TT 'a child i never understood...' well recently i heard two girls in the kindergarten giggling after hearing 'bare soul' and was like?? its really only the society that makes a big deal out of .. everything? any part of human being and life.. 'but i love you' and i love you so i say you should write it only if you want. you dont have to do it. 'i did 😗🍵👌' youre a catgrandmom now 'WHY IS HE CRINGE NOW' i never watched vampire academy and dont judge your taste. you can like danila however you want. and maybe back in 2014 it was indeed good. but i know his russian works. and i know his present works. and 1) most of them are cringey 2) hes cringey 3) hes done many other cringey things. though its not only his works or personality that made him a meme here. hes just a meme? somehow weve come to this and i love this. good for danila. a pretty name. and a pretty person, he makes money with his cringe after all. 'YOU WHINY BABY' i am. 'SHE IS DAEMONS FIRST WIFE THE ONE AND THE ONLY' Yey sounds like the victory! 'he’s technically also not wrong' nah hes wrong bc 1) HE doesnt consider himself the first 2) man. 'change my mind about who yn ends up with' in my mind hes lonely and he ends up heartbroken with his brother who finally came to his senses, watching the wedding with the bitterness in the smile and the great pain. 'im going to add that' such an honour TT 'let me finish this fic in 5 parts dammit' go ahead. dont forbid you anything. go ahead. ill gladly read. 'you know that married member in BigBang?' GHDKDOLHHG ok mental health cutie. i got u. thanks<з yk i like witchy playlists VERY much. ive just found this. and i dont understand if its the authors au or smth but. u feel how accurate it seems with daemon?... like my witch au wasnt abt it. its definately another thing. but imagine another witch au. where daemon is no prince but a narcissistic demon. and a witch loves him unconditionally and selfishly. hes the rouge prince of his own, he does whatever he wants and have as many women as he want. and she know it, it doesnt matter though. bc she love the feeling of love, she loves the fact of feeling something for such a powerful and one of a kind creature. theyre acquaintances and hes totally aware of her love, he relishes in it. he flirts with her and she responds in kind with no hesitation or embarrassment. and they both are just perfectly fine with this. it may sound foolish or not making any sense but i love relationships with no logic TT that are absolutely chaotic and incomprehensible for anyone outside of the dynamic. sorry i just got inspired a little. tbh i liked only the first song of the playlist... and its not exactly the mood i have about this dynamic but nvm. also i love the trope with the relationship bound to end from the very first moment. and it is the one of those i told about. a reader meets daemon in essos/another place he travels to during his exile. and its the love at first sight. and both of them knows he wont stay and she wont come with him. so they enjoy the very 2 or 3 months they have. thats all i wanted to say. besides 5 other ideas i had💀 maybe at weekends... maybe... hope your week is alright, you eat well !!! and drink enough water. have a nice day/evening/night! love u! take care<з

HELLO <3 MY MING MIMG MIMGING MIGMGNIGNMIGMNGMIGN

i was bummed out i couldnt write anything so i didnt reply to you though i read this moment i saw it. sorry

'VALENTINES DAY IS A CAPITALISM PLOT' YEY DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY!!!!

good morning, my love, lets go riot!

damn i just woke up i dont want to riot i want to write and finish my assignments

'what if i dont' well... then dont....

T_T HAHHAH

'HA HELP?' I MEANT THE DRESS TT

ahhhh ok AHHAHHAHAHHAHAH T_ HAHAHAHH

'i was ont he brink of tears' oooh poor girl TT im so sorry for your headache TT you did great with that fic. i never read it bc i had no mood for pedro but im sure. i trust you and your readers. youre amazing and funny so its the only logical way.

T_T i have been wanting to write but i find myself unable to T_T you dont have to say sorry to me but i do want to tell you that idk... i usually write every other day or every day and yet i havent written in 2 days lol T_T i mean i know i dont owe anyone anything but T_T T_T idk i feel like im letting people down /: i know im not but /: my brain. my brain man

'NOW 7AM SUNLIGHT BURNS' got some freezy hugs from me idk TT

thank you <3

'a child i never understood...' well recently i heard two girls in the kindergarten giggling after hearing 'bare soul' and was like?? its really only the society that makes a big deal out of .. everything? any part of human being and life..

T_T BARE SOUL HAHAHHAHAHAHA T_T AHAHHAAHAHAHAH thats cute. society is fucking weird and L

'but i love you' and i love you so i say you should write it only if you want. you dont have to do it.

T_T but i love you. i love you so much and if i cant do this if i cant make art what am i T_T this is why im tryna make another cover song soon. i have to keep making art. i cant stop

'i did 😗🍵👌' youre a catgrandmom now

T_T it be like that

'WHY IS HE CRINGE NOW' i never watched vampire academy and dont judge your taste. you can like danila however you want. and maybe back in 2014 it was indeed good. but i know his russian works. and i know his present works. and 1) most of them are cringey 2) hes cringey 3) hes done many other cringey things. though its not only his works or personality that made him a meme here. hes just a meme? somehow weve come to this and i love this. good for danila. a pretty name. and a pretty person, he makes money with his cringe after all.

i want to say that i want to be a meme if i ever become a celebrity T_T BUT it has to be like funny haha meme not omg CRINGE meme. anyway i do love his name sm sososossosos much and hes pretty cute. and yes he makes money off his cringe so good for him HAHAHHAH

'YOU WHINY BABY' i am.

/: why didnt you put an episode number so i can watch. should i start in the first ep of matt smith? but i also kinda wanted to watch david tennant

'SHE IS DAEMONS FIRST WIFE THE ONE AND THE ONLY' Yey sounds like the victory!

lol if thats what it sounds like to you <3

'he’s technically also not wrong' nah hes wrong bc 1) HE doesnt consider himself the first 2) man.

#2 HAHAHHHAHAHAHAH. i mean just because #1 he doesnt consider himself the man doesnt make it less true

'change my mind about who yn ends up with' in my mind hes lonely and he ends up heartbroken with his brother who finally came to his senses, watching the wedding with the bitterness in the smile and the great pain.

very logical. i hate logic. im going to give him a shot. a fair shot

'im going to add that' such an honour TT

'let me finish this fic in 5 parts dammit' go ahead. dont forbid you anything. go ahead. ill gladly read.

T_T thank you <3

'you know that married member in BigBang?' GHDKDOLHHG ok mental health cutie. i got u. thanks<з

T_T AHAHHA 1000000000000$ cutie

yk i like witchy playlists VERY much. ive just found this. and i dont understand if its the authors au or smth

i think it is.

but. u feel how accurate it seems with daemon?... like my witch au wasnt abt it. its definately another thing. but imagine another witch au. where daemon is no prince but a narcissistic demon. and a witch loves him unconditionally and selfishly. hes the rouge prince of his own, he does whatever he wants and have as many women as he want. and she know it, it doesnt matter though. bc she love the feeling of love, she loves the fact of feeling something for such a powerful and one of a kind creature. theyre acquaintances and hes totally aware of her love, he relishes in it. he flirts with her and she responds in kind with no hesitation or embarrassment. and they both are just perfectly fine with this. it may sound foolish or not making any sense but i love relationships with no logic TT that are absolutely chaotic and incomprehensible for anyone outside of the dynamic. sorry i just got inspired a little.

ok. i like this prompt. i will try to write it because i feel like i cant write anything rn T_T if i cant write this rn T_T then i guess i cant.

i really like how you made daemon in this. a demon a selfish demon its so canon and poor bb girl witch who loves him no matter what T_T fuck off i hate men i kinda want to write it. but also ??? T_T sounds tiring

idk i havent been able to write. i have so many things i want to write but i cant T_T i need a cleanse fic. a fic only i thought about and i need to go wild

tbh i liked only the first song of the playlist... and its not exactly the mood i have about this dynamic but nvm.

LOL HAHHAH im in class right now but i'll listen to it later

also i love the trope with the relationship bound to end from the very first moment. and it is the one of those i told about. a reader meets daemon in essos/another place he travels to during his exile. and its the love at first sight. and both of them knows he wont stay and she wont come with him. so they enjoy the very 2 or 3 months they have.

oh no i love this too T_T <3 you've got such a beautiful brain. i love you so much

thats all i wanted to say. besides 5 other ideas i had💀 maybe at weekends... maybe...

you should have told me all of them! i love hearing you speak or reading your words rather AHAHH. if i sound out of it, maybe i am my head hurts again. maybe its the heat AGAIN maybe im dehydrated fuck. but just tell me everything you want ok <3 i love you

hope your week is alright, you eat well !!! and drink enough water.

i will do my best <3. i hope you do too <3 take care of yourself ok i love you

have a nice day/evening/night! love u! take care<з

i love you so much i hope i feel better this sucks i love you <3

xxx

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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shanastoryteller · 3 years

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Questions about outlines: How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary? How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points? Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go? Sorry if this is to many at once

lmao okay i got several asks about outlines but i’m just going to answer this one because it’s ~comprehensive~

every writing teacher i’ve ever had has hated my outlines. my friends find them incomprehensible.

if people are going to look at my answers as ways to do their own outlines, i have to say: that’s probably not a good idea

i don’t write outlines a majority of the time

i don’t write outlines to plan a story i’ve already decided to write

i write outlines primarily as a way to exorcise story ideas that i want to write but don’t want to actually commit to writing (answer prompts are another way i do this lol)

now, some things do get outlines as a way to plan and organize. survival is a talent has an outline because it’s 400k and spans six years. child king had an outline. needy’s body had an outline.

b u t

i’m currently writing rotten work without an outline

lynchpin didn’t have an outline

hope is the thing with feathers didn’t have an outline

never grow a wishbone only had an outline for the first couple of chapters

an invincible summer didn’t get an outline until like. chapter 4 of 6.

i just. uh. think about what i want to happen and then hope i remember to write it down. even when i do an outline, i’ll deviate from it wildly, and not update it to reflect that, because i know what i’m doing (ha!)

so! with that in mind, let’s go!

How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary?

they vary! but honestly - not very. sometimes i’ll write out a paragraph or bits of dialogue that are important to me, but most of the time it’s just broad strokes of what i want to happen, or a mechanism of how something complicated happens. like i have several paragraphs in my siat outline dealing with necromancy books, but like. two sentences on how they actually occur in the story because that’s just something i’m trusting myself to figure out when i sit down to write it.

How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps?

I try to put them chronologically, although sometimes that’s a little hard (in siat i have several scenes that i know will happen, i just don’t know when). that is something i will go back and edit on my outlines, is if i’ve changed the order the something happens i’ll go back and copy and paste until my outlines is in the right order. but only if the outlines is something i’m actually using to write and the story is longer than a couple of chapters.

because my outlines are so very not detailed, i just write down what it is that i want to write, like the reason i’m going to write this or want to write this, and figure out the rest later. i’ll fill it in later - or i won’t! because most of the time i don’t use my outline to actually write the story, and i use it more as an idea list, so if i don’t know what happens between scenes or i find it boring i just won’t write it down

like, for example, here is my “outline” for won’t even plant a garden in it’s entirety

weep as a woman

“you weep as a woman weeps.” “and how is that?” “as if the future rests on your hips, and you must walk it forward.”

crowley and eve were friends. cain killed abel with the flaming sword, and crowley begged them to say it was with a rock instead

crowley was raphael the painter and fucked michelangelo

crowley was there the night yeshua was born, was friends with mary, helped raise yeshua?

ghosts

crowley and anathema and joan of arc

i ended up dropping most of this and crowley ended up sleeping with both eve and yeshua as the major plot points. i don’t explain stuff, really. i know what i mean so i just don’t bother to get very detailed most of the time.

Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points?

siat i divide up by year, and i think i did it by chapter for the last two chapters of build your wings on the way down, but otherwise it’s just one long list. i do my chapters based on words counts rather than content, so outlining by chapter doesn’t really make sense for me (siat is always around 15k a chapter, and everything else i do these days thats multi chapter is around 8k because that’s the best, but ngawb was 5k a chapter and i think for child king it was around 11k a chapter)

Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go?

I’m constantly adding as a i go! my outlines are never really “complete” they’re just abandoned. i write down what i think will help me and tend to ignore the rest. sometimes i just. talking to myself in my outlines when i’m trying to think something through.

my outline for child king is under the cut because that’s one that’s a good mix of stuff i kept and stuff i threw out. DON’T JUDGE ME!! bad ideas don’t get written because they’re bad!! it’s part of the ~process~

child king

Summary: “A child king is still a king,” Deaton says softly. “A child king is still a child,” he snaps, but he knows this is an argument he’s already lost. – Stiles is a born alpha, and after the Hale fire, things get real complicated, real fast.

Stiles’s mom is the last remaining human from a pack that was destroyed by hunters. John is the one that helps her after, so he knows everything. When they move to beacon hills she doesn’t feel the need to say anything to the hale pack, because as far as they’re concerned she’s just a human, and she doesn’t want to get involved in pack business. But then stiles is born with red eyes. The doctor is quiet and scared john and Claudia freak out, but it’s because he’s a werewolf, which is a relief to parents because they thought something was wrong with their kid. Maybe they don’t know he’s an alpha, only that he’s a wolf? Or they know and they keep it a secret on purpose

Claudia is the one to approach mrs. Hale. She tells her that her son is a born werewolf, but that she’s not interested in joining their pack. Her husband is a new deputy and they just bought a house but they’ll move if they have to. “he’ll need a pack one day. It’s safer,” she says. “if he wants to join you one day, I won’t stop him. But that’s not a choice I’m willing to make for him.” Mrs hale agrees that they can say separate as in exchange for the sheriff smoothing over some ruffled feathers no and again. They agree. Claudia to sheriff “we’re going to have to move one day. Our son is an alpha, and he’ll need to make his own pack.”

Stiles is seven the first time he snarls at his mom, eyes flashing red, and she freezes. She’s got the pack instinct, it doesn’t matter that hes her kid, hes still her alpha, so its hella awkward. John can see how this will quickly spiral out of control if they can discipline their own kid. But stiles is the one to back down first, apologizing and doing as he’s told. There are careful power structures here, and this is the beginning of differentiating between stiles the human and stiles the wolf.

When his mom gets sick, stiles offers to turn her. Hale offers to turn her. She refused for Reasons that I have to figure out. Maybe the politics of it? Wanting to protect stiles and not wanting to become part of the hale pack

The fire happens. John ships stiles the hell out of dodge, because there are hunters about. He snoops around enough to figure out it was kate argent, but theres not really anything he can do about it

Scott knows about everything, and tries to tell his mom in a really akward way that they should trust stiles if they’re ever in danger, but she just laughs it off. Except when someone breaks in and threatens her with a gun, and she manages to make a phone call, it’s not 911, not john, but stiles, and she doesn’t even know why, regrets it as soon as it happens. But then stiles shows up and breaks both of the guys, eyes glowing red, and then calls his dad and scott to take care of it, because they’re humans, so they get human punishments. Melissa is told everything.

Scott has a bad asthma attack and, and Melissa asks about the bite. Scott is itching for it. He wants it so badly. Stiles has already promised to turn them when they turn 18, and Melissa knows that. She asks if theres a reason to wait, and the answer is nah, not really. So he gets the bite. Stiles being like uh psa punishments cant include scott staying away

After hale fire and stiles gets back, he’s shocked that hey just left, and that they left peter behind. He starts visiting peter several times a week. He tells his dad that they should pay for his medical care. They have a fuckton of money because his mom inherited all the pack wealth, and john doesn’t touch it because that’s stiles’s money, that’s werewolf money. But this is a werewolf thing, so he agrees. “his pack left him dad.”

Stiles bites Erica when they’re 14. Some point in middle school stiles wises up to the Isaac thing and tells his dad he needs to arrest his dad, or stiles is going to kill him, and he’s not even a little bit joking. Stiles hears Isaac crying while going by the house? In johns squad car. Makes them pull over, then bursts into the house. John goes with it because his son’s eyes are red.

Some point after the hales leave, things start trying to move into hale territory. Some wolves? Stiles smells them, and ends up at 10 years old telling them to fuck off. This how scott finds out? He’s with scott and his dad. Deaton is facing off against something? Panics when stiles intervenes, but stiles goes wolfy and red eyes and is like. This is mine now fuck off. Looks at the hale house, and finally says, we have to take care of this. We have to. But they don’t own the house or the land or any of it. They do … something

Stiles ends up having to deal with a lot of crap real young

Stiles has scott and Isaac when peter wakes up. Stiles is there, and peter isn’t crazy because he wasn’t abandoned to die alone. Stiles says he can stay, or he can go, not trying to pressure anything. Peter chooses to become part of stiles’s pack, because his family is either dead or abandoned him. Peter ends up moving in with them as he finishes healing and to get used to being in a pack and with stiles. It’s very strange for john, but it’s a werewolf thing and he’s trying to be supportive. After a couple months, stiles tells his dad that having peter is a relief, that there’s finally someone who knows things, someone older who can support him as a werewolf. Peter acts as his second, and he finally has some degree of authority that age has lost him. Stiles has peter take care of the hale house. Peter and stiles have the conversation, where peter is like the hale land is your land now. You’re the alpha of beacon hills. He does what stiles directs him to.

Isaac is living with scott under stiles’s direction ish. But lots of Melissa. Isaac like I don’t wantto be afraid anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore, and stiles is like. Okay. We’ll fix this. But he doesn’t bite Isaac until he goes to a shitton of therapy and has mostly sorted himself out. For isaac’s fifteenth birthday, he bites him.

Erica is spur of the moment, it’s something that all instinct and very little thought. OR they’re dating and it happesn? Erica’s parents suck. Stiles doesn’t want the balancing act of being boyfriend and alpha.

Jackson is so fucking desperate to belong to something. He nags and nags and nags and finally stiles bites him at least half to shut him up.

“dad can I talk to you about something weird and uncomfortable and a little creepy” talks about crush on Lydia, and how he’s not sure if its because he has a crush on her or if it’s bc he thinks she’ll be good for the pack. Lydia joins before Jackson, and she’s the one that pushes stiles into it. Lydia and stiles are not dating, but she’s clearly high in the hiarchey.

Boyd? Just like. Shows up. Idk.

So by the time laura and derek show up, stiles’s pack is: john, Melissa, peter, Lydia, Jackson, danny, Isaac, boyd, Erica, deaton (who’s acting as emissary but is training danny). Maybe bring in some later characters, like malia and kira and cora. Ooooh maybe the twins show up before they became alphas, still run aways and looking for something else? Stiles takes them on. Stiles finds malia early on after the fire

Peter is willing to forgive derek but he has a lot of shit with laura. Stiles agrees to let laura and derek stay and not be part of his pack, although laura insists she doesn’t need his permission. She snaps at peter to come home with them, and he looks at her like she’s insane. He says there’s no hale pack, and if there was, he’s not interested. He’s a stillinkski wolf now. Cora too maybe? Double blow. Peter owns the hale land, and he makes it clear the day stiles turns 18 he’ll be signing it over to him. Stiles is known by the surrounding packs.

Stiles has to somehow defend the surrounding area, has to make it clear he’s his and that he’s not willing to give it up. It’s valuable land. People are going to come looking for it once people figure out it’s abandoned. When deaton finds out stiles is an alpha, he goes around as an emissary to the surrounding packs. Saying that its under stiles now. He’s known to them so it goes mostly uncontested. This is when he and the sheriff have the child king conversation.

Stiles tries really, really hard to be a good alpha. That means controlling the territory, and working with other packs when members go rouge or something goes wrong. He’s thirteen the first time he goes to lend a hand in a fight, and it’s young, it’s too young, but he’s an alpha. He has to do this, to maintain the peace. And the thing is – stiles is good at this, good at not pushing, at not using his status as a crutch or an excuse, instead as a tool.

Maybe this is why no one cares for laura’s excuses. As much as laura wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility, she was an adult, if only barely. Stiles is a literal child, and in her absence shouldered it all. So even if she does technically have a claim, none of them are willing to honor it. “if you kill alpha stiles, you won’t have allies, you’ll have enemies.”

Allison and argents. Stiles brings his pack to kill kate. Gives peter the chance to do it himself, and is so very proud when he says no. but instead of letting her go free, stiles crushes her throat. “revenge would have been trapping you all in here and setting the whole thing on fire. Justice would have been making you watch as she burned alive. This was mercy, and don’t you forget it.” Scott is hella in love with Allison, but he knows this comes first. Her mom is full of hatred, but stiles more than makes it clear that he has no problem with killing her too.

Stiles sees derek soon after. They’ve already gone back and forth a lot. But he and laura weren’t there. Stiles tells him what he did. They have a ~moment~

Derek wants so very much to join stiles’s pack, but he doesn’t want to lose laura.

Something finally convinces laura to take the plunge and the stillinksi pack is one happy family

#asks #anon #writing advice

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alienaiver · 3 years

Text

Half the Battle, pt. 1

Kuroo Tetsurou x gn!reader

find part two here!

warnings: slight angst about childhood/parents fighting/divorce, one (1) bottle of wine is opened, someone is betrayed in Mario Party, NOT beta-read! apologize for any mistakes! (lmk if there’s any warnings i missed!)

wordcount: 5.5k

content: soulmate AU, mild angst, fluff, post-timeskip but slight canon divergence (i haven’t read the manga yet so this is loosely based off of their canon timeskip lives), gender neutral reader, reader is a video editor, reader is bad at eye contact but the details as to why are vague/up for interpretation!

notes: this was made for @gg9183 ‘s wonderful birthday event, a soulmate collab! (go read the other wonderful works!) happy birthday once again, gray!! this was meant to be a 2k one shot but.... plans and inspiration changes sometimes, right? 🥺 so this ended up as a 5k part ONE lmfao i hope thats alright w u!!! part2 will be up asap, i promise!! i hope you enjoy this!!!!

—————————

Not meeting his soulmate was fine, Kuroo often found himself thinking. The odds of finding your soulmate’s way too low to be realistic anyways, he supported the thought. It’s illogical to spend so much time fretting about it, he finally added for good measure.

Soulmates were a natural part of life, always had been. But with the big wide world filled with over seven billion people, meeting yours wasn’t completely unheard of. But given the powers of soulmates even existing, it wasn’t unrealistic to also believe that some kind of fate would pull you towards each other throughout your lives so that you would meet each other. Kuroo however, prided himself in not caring about soulmates. His life was rich enough. People explaining their feelings about “something being missing until they finally meet them” was incomprehensible to him.

Kuroo had lived for 29 years without being able to see color. And you know what? His life was damn well fulfilling enough. He had a beautiful apartment, an economy that flourished, an adorable cat named Cucumber and good people around him. What would he really need a soulmate for? He could ignore his friends comments on how wonderful the world was in color, if only he would just start looking for his soulmate, how much meaning it gave life. Just because the people in his closest circle had all magically met theirs – not to mention how many of them had already met in Goddamn high school, Kuroo scoffed and was always able to move on.

Even though a lot of people actively made eye contact with everyone they met, even people on the street, to make sure they would meet their soulmate, Kuroo kept his eyes down. He wasn’t insecure, come on, he was perfectly happy! He just didn’t need to be late for a meeting because he got eye contact with some stranger, you know?

His life was in perfect balance as is.. Until yesterday, of course. It had turned out there was mold in his apartment complex so they had to evict it for a month while a crew would go through everything to remove it. He didn’t want to go to his mother’s place, that was too far from his work, but he wasn’t in the mood for a hotel, that was way too expensive, so he turned to his best friend of many years with the biggest set of puppy eyes he could muster and the prospect of making every dinner while he lived there.

“Fine… but don’t get in the way,” was all Kenma had to say.

And so Kuroo spent his last weekend in his own apartment packing things down to make it accessible to the cleaning crew. Cucumber hated other cats with a passion so he couldn’t bring him to Kenma’s, where three cats already happily lived, so his mother would pick him up tomorrow afternoon.

He sat on his couch, scrolling his phone mindlessly with Cucumber on his lap who had been stressed with all the packing down, sensing something was up. He was being extra cuddly towards Kuroo who, honestly? Didn’t mind at all. He loved when Cucumber was in mood for cuddles, though it wasn’t very often. He had been told his cat was orange and while he didn’t have a measure for what that color actually looked like, he was happy with his gray cat.

His mother was supposed to arrive any minute now, so he should have gotten up and put the cat in his carrier but it was easier to get him in it if you had two pair of hands. He scrolled through Instagram, reaching a photo put up by Tsukishima of his soulmate, the light-haired manager of their high school volleyball club, with a tooth-eating grin on her face and proudly showing off a ring on her finger, the caption said, This smile makes me wanna brag. Kuroo could physically hear the provocative tone of his voice, knowing he was one of the first in his circle of friends to actually plan a wedding. Kuroo clicked his tongue with a smile on his face and double-tapped to like the picture.

He didn’t know if it was the combination of that post and the fact that his mother was on her way but memories of his parent’s wedding flooded his mind. For a lot of people, weddings felt obsolete in the face of the whole “you already got your soulmate and you know this” thing, so a lot of couples were happy not getting married but just being together. But there was also the benefits of marriage in the practical sense, so some people did anyways, some hosting parties, some not. His parents weren’t married when he came to, but after he turned five they decided to do it so he would be protected by both of them, in case of any emergency.

It had been a small wedding, only the closest family and friends but Kuroo was vivid, so excited about being part of that whole romantic ordeal, even helping his mom find a dress and everything. He had been a huge and important part of the wedding – if he did say so himself. Everyone had been glowing at the day, the food was delicious, there was laughter, song and cheers and everyone had brought so many presents – even some for little Tetsurou, who had been very excited about his new train tracks.

But when Kuroo was seven years old, it wasn’t as romantic anymore. His parents were fighting a lot, he wasn’t entirely sure why or about what because they would never tell him about it, no matter how much he asked. When he tried to listen in, the words he heard didn’t explain anything to him because even though they were yelling at each other, the important words were always whispered, as if they knew Kuroo was listening in.

When he was eight his mom had come into his room, hugged him and with tears in her eyes and said that they were going to move away.

“Where are we going?” he asked simply, no emotion to be read on his little face. He was exhausted from his parents being this way – they were soulmates, right? Why did they fight like that?

“To Tokyo, just you and me, my love.”

That’s when he met Kenma. He had been very closed-off and shy back when they met, he reminisced. He had been a regular kid when he was younger but the way his parents split up – his soulmate parents – had closed him off pretty bad, so it was a miracle he met Kenma and started opening up again.

Kuroo smiled to himself bitterly before scratching Cucumber’s ear. He supposed this was also why he wasn’t interested in his soulmate. So many people had romanticized the whole soulmate ideal so a lot of people forgot that relationships still took work, took effort and just because they were made for each other, didn’t necessarily guarantee that they would stay together. His mom and dad didn’t officially talk anymore, but when he asked his mom as a child whether or not she still saw color, she said that she did. He also found long letters in her bedroom when he was nine, letters from his dad, so he supposed they still talked together, though Kuroo wasn’t let in on it – nor was he particularly interested. And he definitely we wasn’t interested in ending up in a relationship with someone who would end up not wanting to put in the effort for the relationship to flourish.

After Cucumber had been picked up by his mom it was time to leave for Kenma’s place. He carried the last boxes of valuables down to his basement and locked them in before trekking down to the subway with his suitcase and sports bag.

_____

You were late for work, so you scrambled to pack your things. It was Wednesday afternoon and you were supposed to meet in at 3PM, because that was around the time that Kodzuken had planned to finish his recording, he told you yesterday. You were a video editor and had met Kenma through your old part-time job in his favorite convenience store quite a few years back, back when he had first bought his house when he was 24. You remembered talking to him about video games in the store since you also played some, and after a good while of polite customer service and talk about new games, you had started hanging out outside of work as well. When you had then told him you were actually a freelance video editor but just didn’t get many jobs, he had almost instantly hired you to do his YouTube videos for him and general editing and set-ups of his streams. I know video games, not recording equipment, he had told you so many years ago.

Your original thought had been wary, because working for a friend might get messy but Kenma cared a lot about keeping it professional when you were on the clock, which you appreciated very much. In his house, down by his game room, there was a room next door with screens and all the best editing software just for you to play with. Your pay was higher than average for such a “simple” but regular gig but when prompted about it, he simply shrugged and told you it wasn’t up for negotiation and no one was being treated unfair – and who were you to go against such a good pay for a job that you loved doing and wanted to do full-time? With Kenma being a famous streamer and gamer, he often made lots of different videos for various sites so your job hours resembled a nine to five job, easy, even if the hours were off from the more conventional jobs and you usually came in later in the day and sometimes finished off late in the evening – some of his videos had a time limit for a release date of a game, so there was also days where you were extremely busy and scrambling to get the video done right for a release of a game.

As you closed your bag and ran out the door towards the subway, you checked your phone for any updates. If he’d finished early, he would’ve texted you about it, so you put your phone in your pocket and hurried towards his house.

When you arrived you immediately rang the doorbell before catching your breath, you were used to Kenma spending a few minutes before reaching the door and opening it, so when the door opened almost instantly you took a step back before looking up. The one opening the door was taller than Kenma and in a loose dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top - that’s all you saw before your eyes darted down to your feet.

“...Hi! I’m uh… Where’s Kenma?” was all you got out while fidgeting with your purse strap, it certainly wasn’t his boyfriend Hinata opening the door today.

“Oh, hey! You must be his video editor, right? He told me about you!” The man said, pointing to himself with his thumb,

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou! Kenma’s childhood friend! Sorry to intrude, I’ll be living here for the next month, I promise not to get in your way!” As he finished his introduction, he moved aside so that you could enter. As you took off your shoes you heard Kenma’s feet shuffling towards you, “oh hey, welcome, you’re early,” Kenma said with his usual deadpan expression but you could clearly hear the teasing in his voice.

“At least I’m here now, right?” You smiled back, instantly relaxing at the sight of your boss and friend. You turned to Kuroo again, bowed and introduced yourself before taking off your coat and putting it on a hanger, while Kenma and the guy named Kuroo seemed to bicker a bit about whether or not Kuroo should answer the door while he lived there.

“I’ll go set it up, have you transferred the video files to the hard disk?” you asked Kenma as you moved towards ‘your’ office, sending Kuroo a polite smile while keeping your eyes on his neck.

Eye contact was hard for you, it always made you extremely uncomfortable and you didn’t really have any before you felt comfortable with the person. Your mother had often scolded you, saying you’d never find your soulmate at this rate, which you always acknowledged with a hum or a simple yes without starting a discussion.

You honestly weren’t sure whether or not you cared for a soulmate. Your biggest argument to wanting to find one was so that you could see colors, because it’d help your career. Kenma already had his soulmate, so he was the one deciding the color scheme for his videos and helped with the color-related editing, which worked fine as of now, but you would probably appreciate to be able to do it yourself. You had also spent some years coming to terms with your struggles with eye contact and accept that this was just how you functioned. If you missed your soulmate in a random supermarket thanks to it one day, well, you’d be none the wiser, so you felt sure you’d survive without one, but you also couldn’t deny that the sound of a soulmate sounded really nice and comforting. That someone out there existed to fit you, that you were born to love someone who was also meant to love you. You were sure that finding your soulmate wasn’t a dance on roses, it was sure to still be hard, frustrating and maybe even painful sometimes, but you also couldn’t just have all the good, there was a balance that was sure to exist within soulmates as well.

After hours of going through the raw footage from his video game play and slowly editing while watching it, you popped your shoulders and stretched your arms for a moment, yawning as you did so. Your hours were always a bit intense, but that couldn’t be helped when you had six hours of raw footage to work with. Looking at the clock you saw that it was 5.30PM which meant that soon Kenma would wake up from his pseudo-sleep (which was more like a nap in your opinion) to look at your process and ask what you wanted for dinner.

Soon after a soft knock was heard followed by the door opening slowly, Kenma standing in sweats and a hoodie with bags under his eyes, “do you like hotpot?” he asked, and you smiled at him, “sure, are you cooking tonight?” he yawned while he shook his head, “Kuroo is. He insists on a ‘fulfilling meal’, whatever that means.”

You giggled before beckoning Kenma in to see some of what you’ve done so far and making minor adjustments along the way. “Now, something smells delicious and I’m thirsty,” you stated after the two of you had talked a bit about the rest of the video’s plans. As you went towards the kitchen you could hear the sound of of a nameless tune being hummed, pans sizzling from something being cooked and kitchen utensils being used.

Inside, the table was already set with plates and prepared ingredients lying ready for the pot that Kuroo was just about to put on the table. It seemed he had made an endless supply of different side dishes and really put in a lot of work for it, so you looked really forward to eating it and it smelled delicious. You grabbed a glass from the set table and went to the sink to get some water and just as your hand reached it, Kuroo had extended his hand as well to the sink and you accidentally touched.

You both recoiled as if you had been burned and you couldn’t stop the gasp that accidentally left your lips. A feeling was rushing through your body you hadn’t experienced before and you immediately apologized to Kuroo and went back to the table, foregoing the water. You didn’t notice how Kuroo was frozen in place from when he touched you before Kenma called out to him and he immediately started moving again.

You ended up eating shortly after, Kuroo serving the food and talking animatedly about him and Kenma’s childhood, making you laugh quite a bit at their (or more, Kuroo’s) antics and their volleyball days. Kuroo was the type of person to make you relax in his presence and have fun which you didn’t even notice until you got home later that evening and really thought about what a great time you had had. You found yourself surprised by how easily you clicked with Kuroo, a total stranger. It must be his charm, you thought to yourself before going through your night routine. You had to come back tomorrow and finish work, after all. You estimated the video would take you a few more days to finish but that would end up fitting well with the weekend coming, so as you went to bed you felt yourself more relaxed than you had in a while.

_____

“What are they like?”

It was Friday and it seemed you had finished Kenma’s video and therefor you weren’t here for dinner – for the first time in a few days, which did let down Kuroo just a tiny bit. He had talked a lot with you during dinner preparations when you came out from the office and during dinner as well and while you did answer all his questions (which, he admitted, there were quite a few of them) and follow up with your own for him, it still felt… off… talking to you – and Kuroo didn’t like not knowing why. “What do you mean?” Kenma asked, taking another bite into his mouth.

Kenma swallowed a piece of meat before looking up at Kuroo who was stabbing his plate with his fork in what seemed like a useless purpose. He knew he was being a little weird but meeting you was weird, even though he had no reason to explain why.

“I mean, is this how they usually act?” He didn’t even know what that question meant or why he was even asking it, nothing made sense! But he had a desperate feeling that he needed to get to know you – he was afraid of what that implied and what suspicions he needed to hold onto, but he was sure it was his gut telling him you were dangerous for Kenma to be around – that had to be it! Kenma was his best friend, his childhood friend, it had to be a gut feeling meant to protect him!

“Who knows, they’re being more polite than usual, I think. But that makes sense,” Kenma replied calmly before adding, “I mean you are a stranger who’s really intent on being social with them over our dinners, they were a bit shy as well when I met them,”

Kuroo nodded and finally took a bite of his own food. He didn’t notice Kenma’s raised eyebrows or the questioning look that was sent his way, so Kenma decided to let the subject rest.

Not seeing you today felt weird to him too and he couldn’t help the irritation building up inside him – you had just met a few days ago and only in the evenings when he was done with work and ready to make dinner – and yet, the thought of you kept invading his mind. He had gotten through work today thinking you were going to be there for dinner so when he came home and found out you wouldn’t be there, the first seed of irritation had been planted – why was he suddenly looking so much forward to seeing you? Had it been like this yesterday too? Why was it suddenly important that you weren’t there? He ended up sitting in front of the laptop in the guest room for the rest of the evening, the document left open and completely untouched.

Kuroo, however, didn’t let the subject rest in his head for the rest of that evening. Hinata was in town, having time off after a big game yesterday so Kuroo was left to his own devices – which really wasn’t a problem considering he had to make the paperwork for a promotional deal for a meeting Monday morning that he had procrastinated making – which wasn’t like him at all, he usually never pushed assignments to last minute and he then realized the reason he wasn’t done yet was because he had spent so much time over the dinner table with Kenma and you, talking even after dinner had been done for a while. You always offered to help him with the clean-up so you also spent some time talking there, drifting off to various subjects far passing the cleaning duties and sitting down again with a glass of water.

He enjoyed your company, it felt... easy, somehow, the sensation that something was off was there but it didn’t really settle in his stomach until every time after you left, as if it was left to grow a bit from a small sensation to a problem, which worried him – Kuroo prided himself as an impeccable people-reader, he was captain for both the volleyball team in high school and college, he knew how to act around business relations so well because he could read them so flawlessly – so the feelings he got from you was unsettling and unreadable and it took some control away from him – and Kuroo always felt uneasy when he wasn’t in control.

____

Kuroo heard your name and almost got whiplash from how fast his head moved towards Kenma, “what?”

“I asked if we should invite them? To game night? Being three is a little annoying in Mario Party.”

“Oooh, that’s a good idea! I’d love to see them again!” Hinata happily exclaimed before taking another bite of the lasagna Kuroo had prepared tonight. It was Saturday and Kuroo had been in a daze the entire day, first at the office for a quick meeting with his boss about a potential partner he might be able to reel in soon and then doing his laundry at Kenma’s and continuing to try and make the stupid paperwork but ultimately failing before he had to make dinner.

“Isn’t it a bit late to invite someone? I mean, they could have plans already...” Kuroo tried, knowing what a pain it could be to be asked to something an hour before it happened and he didn’t want to let you go through that – that’s what he tried to tell himself, at least. In truth? He was a bit afraid of seeing you again, afraid of his potential reactions, since he had spent his entire Friday in a stupor just thinking about you. His thoughts didn’t mean much for Kenma and Hinata though, who was already texting you to ask. “Oi, no phones at the table, have you parents taught you no manners?” Kuroo chided and Hinata immediately shrank back and apologized – Kuroo smirked, yea the Chibi-chan still had respect for his seniors. But he was quickly pulled back to thoughts about you by Kenma’s phone lighting up again, “they’ll be here in an hour. They’re asking if they should bring anything?” Kenma looked up to gauge Kuroo’s reaction, having noticed something about his friend had been off the past few days. He immediately made a funny grimace before turning it into a smile. “Yea, they can bring a bottle of white wine, if I have to beat you all at Mario Party, I would very much like to be a tiny bit buzzed,” Kuroo said, and Hinata looked at him with wide eyes, “you drink wine!? So grown up!” Hinata exclaimed, to which Kenma just muttered, “or just an old man…” Kuroo didn’t hear that though, too busy to fidget with his hands under the table, suddenly feeling nervous that you were showing up.

Hinata plopped down between Kuroo and you with a controller in hand, “I’m gonna beat you all in this Mario Kart!” to which you laughed loudly, “good luck since we’re playing Mario Party.”

“Huh? Is there a difference?” Hinata asked, making Kuroo belt out a loud laugh as well, holding his stomach, “you just told us you’d beat us but you don’t even know what we’re playing!” Kuroo couldn’t contain his laughter for a bit until he noticed how you were looking at him and instantly retracted his laugh, sitting up straight with a cough, and apologizing for being loud, which confused him to no end. He had never been self-conscious of his own laugh! He knew it could be obnoxious and loud, but he also liked it himself, and-

“That’s a really cute laugh.”

The comment earned you the stares of the century from the three other people in the room, with Kenma in genuine shock – he wouldn’t say he disliked Kuroo’s laugh, just that it was… special.

“Uhm… Uh. Thank you?” Kuroo could feel that his blush went all the way to his ears but he hoped that the light in the living room wasn’t bright enough to catch it. “Yeah uh! Sure! Mhm,” you awkwardly coughed a bit as well before reaching for your glass of wine.

You had brought a bottle of white wine for Kuroo on the promise that you’d get a glass too, saying he was your first friend who also liked wine. The word ‘friend’ had dumb-founded him and he’d just answered “you can have it all,” to which you had laughed and said it’s fine with half, you weirdo.

The game was about to begin but Kuroo was still sitting stuck on the fact that his laugh was cute – cute? Had anyone else found it cute before besides Bokuto and his mom? He wasn’t sure – he sure couldn’t pinpoint them right now anyways. He tried to shake it off and focus on the game, though quite a bit of time was spent explaining the rules to Hinata who apparently had thought they were just playing Mario Kart.

When you were 12 laps into it, it seemed that you were set to win with your four stars and 121 coins. Kenma was right behind you with three stars and Hinata and Kuroo had been left in the dust with zero stars. You had stolen Kuroo’s first (and only) star early in the game, so he was plotting his vengeance in quiet but was getting afraid that the game would end before he could do anything to you – but just as his hopes were at the smallest during the last round of the game, you were put in the same team as him in the last mini game.

Kuroo had a wide smirk when you cheered and said, “this’ll be easy then!” because no, it would not be easy for you. If he had to go down in order to take you down a notch, then so be it. He’d rather Kenma win than you did with stolen goods!

The last mini game was “Tow the Line” where two players were put in a sewing box shaped with nine dots as a grid and two players tied together with a string and the objective was to make the shape with the string as shown in the middle of screen. As soon as the whistle sounded, Kuroo lowered his hands and stopped using his controllers, all with a big grin on his lips.

“Kuroo, what the fuck! Get moving, we’ve started!” you yelled at him as Kenma and Hinata won the first round, signaling the next round began, Kuroo started whistling and looking away from the screen, to which you got up from your seat, “fine, I’ll just take your controller and do it myself!”

Kuroo put his arm with the controller behind him, “nah-ah-ah! You’re not winning this, fiend! That’s what you get for stealing my star!” He grinned up at you with his eyes closed as you stood with your hands on your hips, “come on man! I stole that star in the fourth round! Kenma stole a star from me as well!” you tried, “maybe he stole the one that was yours, who knows! Get over it so we can win!”

But as soon as you’d said that, the third round had just been won and you sighed and flopped down on your seat again, “not cool Kuroo, not cool. I’ll remember this!”

You both laughed as the game made ready to announce the winner, Kenma and Hinata entertained by your antics.

“You can’t avenge something that I avenged in the first place! I only did it because you did me wrong, you know!”

“You can’t use logic on me, it doesn’t apply!”

To no surprise, you won the entire game, even winning one of the two bonus stars given at the end of the game.

After the last sequence and a bow from you there was a quick break before you decided to play some Mario Kart for Hinata’s sake, since his argument was that he lost due it being Party instead. You played quite a few hours and after another toilet break you had switched places with Hinata so Kenma could cuddle up against him. You yawned, drinking the last of the wine in your glass and said, “I should head home, I have a friend coming over for lunch tomorrow.”

Hinata and Kenma both started to get up to say goodnight but you waved at them with a smile, “I can walk out myself, it’s fine!” But Kuroo had already gotten up from the couch as well, so you walked with him towards the hallway where you put on your shoes. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, which Kuroo noted and scowled a bit - he might have only known you for less than a week but for some reason he felt like it had been a lot longer, like you were old friends – it felt strange, to be so close with a stranger. He didn’t know anything about you, really. He knew your name, your job and how you liked some of your vegetables and which meat was your favorite, he knew you also loved cats but didn’t have one (he couldn’t remember if he knew why) and he felt pretty sure he would recognize you in a crowded area – why it was so intense, he was unsure of, he hadn’t tried meeting someone this way before. It had also seemed like having this game night had made you considerably more relaxed in his presence, even joking around with him instead of being polite, which made Kuroo somewhat giddy, though it didn’t really make sense to him as to why.

“I hope you had fun,” Kuroo said awkwardly, as if he had been the host and scratched the back of his head.

“Yeah, I did! I’m sorry I stole your star, though,” you laughed, buttoning your jacket.

“Nah, no worries, as they say, all’s fair in love and war, right?”

You giggled and picked up your bag from the dresser while Kuroo opened up the door for you. As you exited, you turned around with a bright smile, “well, thanks for toni-”

Everything ended up a blur, too bright, too much, too noisy, too… colorful? Kuroo was still looking into your eyes as all that went through him, completely blindsided. As he took a proper look, he could see that you looked just as surprised as him, your eyes wide but still never leaving his either.

“Is… Is this? Are you? Is…” You asked after what felt like both days and milliseconds, I could stare at them so much longer, he thought to himself, the colors only making your face more clear to him. Had you really not had eye contact at all? Had you seen each other for several hours – more than a few times, without looking each other in the eyes at all? Kuroo was more baffled by this happening so late than the fact that it was happening.

He was about to say something, anything, when you promptly turned around, nervously yelling, “I-I uh, I gotta go! Goodbye!” as you hurried out of the driveway and down towards the subway.

“W-wait!” Kuroo belatedly and unhelpfully yelled out as you turned a corner, too late. You were gone. A hand was dragged down his face as a sigh left him, what the fuck had just happened? He obviously needed to talk to you about this, but he also needed to gather his thoughts about all of this, so he slowly closed the door and went back towards the living room, greeted by Hinata and Kenma who looked up at him curiously, “why did you yell?” Hinata asked with his head tilted.

“I think I just found my soulmate.”

#haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsurou x you #kuroo tetsurou x reader #hq x reader #waaaaah im so nervous about this!!!! i basically cranked it out in less than 24hrs ngl.... i had 1.5k of beautiful words before i came u #P WITH A WHOLE OTHER PLOT!!!! :-)#if any of u get the ref of the title i love u and we need to play mp together lmao <33333 #also kenhina and tsukiyachi is mentioned!#both reader and kuroo r A MESS #stay tuned for part 2!!!!!!#nohr.writing #half the battle series #im gonna dig a hole real quick to hide in hehehe #honestly im not sure this is entirely coherent i had so much.... i wanted to force into it im afraid some of it feels out of place but!!!#here we go!! face the fear lmao!!!!

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wokestraightpuffy · 3 years

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Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER? the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever.

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO)

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

* she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot.

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

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justanotherpersonsuniverse · 4 years

Text

Okay so a while ago I wrote a chapter of a fic where the Miracuclass get thrown into a Persona Shadow world, however I lost motivation immediately for it and never continued writing it cause it sucked

HOWEVER HOWEVER! I STILL WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT THE SHADOW IDEAS I HAD FOR IT! Not in order, but Marinette’s shadow would most likely be last sense that was supposed to be the final boss of the fic. Note: I’m never working on it again, but I still wanted to throw out the ideas I had. Hope you like it!

The Shadows—

Marinette: Shadow Marinette is basically Saltinette. Has lost hope in the entire class. She’s very mean and demeaning, and does her best to convince Marinette that she should leave them. She’s a culmination of disappointments, pain, anger, spite, and the feeling of hate with her job as Ladybug because of how much it steals from her life. Shadow Marinette also carries much of her ptsd as ladybug with her, including Chat Blanc. She’s covered in red string that slowly starts to cover and wrap around her more, before it ties around her throat like a noose. Eventually, her monstrous shadow form becomes Lady Blanche, and the school turns into the rotting, broken, and fallen down remains of the Eiffel Tower. She confesses who she is as Ladybug, and jeers at the class at any time she has, but who she targets the most is Marinette, whom she practically torments.

Adrien: A caged bird. Shadow Adrien is a prisoner of his own heart, desperate for escape. He’s begging for death, for love, for acknowledgment. He sees himself as nothing and asks why “she doesn’t love me?”. Turns into a monstrous, corrupted, decaying, melting cat and bird monster(or I guess.. griffin) trying to protect a treasure box it’s chained to. The dungeon/palace is in the theme of a medieval castle.

Alya: So you know Yosuke’s shadow? How it was based on boredom but in the most realest sense? Where he was just looking for a story to be a part of because the life he lived up until that point was really plain, dragged out, and tired feeling of just monotony? Yeah, that. She feels like nothing, so she wants to be something more, like the stories she’s read, watched, she’s longing to be more. So that’s why she became obsessed with Ladybug, why she took her job as Rena with such hope and excitement. For the first time, she’s felt like she’s finally living, and she’s scared that it’ll go away. Most likely gets the design I gave her with my other fic. If you don’t know what that looks like, it’s a centaur like monster who’s skin is made up a ton of faces, bodies, limbs, and contorted creaming beings. The humanoid top side has two faces, one half being a camera, and the other a snarling fox.

Nino: Issues with his divorced parents, he feels like it’s partially his fault and it fucks him up. He carries a lot of his family on his back due to this, and it’s a feeling of incomprehensible guilt. His Shadow clings onto Nino and tries to smother him, before turning into his shadow form. I don’t know what this form would look like. A giant deformed lion turtle maybe.

Chloe: HOO BOY THATS A BUNDLE OF ISSUES. Pulling an Adachi here, the shadow’s monster form is quite literally just an inverted and corrupted version of her. Because she’s already a monster in her own eyes. Only thing that makes it different is that it has a yellow bandana covering its eye’s, because all across their arms and on her palms are blinking eyes. This thing is fucking out for Chloe’s blood, begging to just fucking die. To disappear already. Because if Mother doesn’t remember them, they’re as good as gone right now. Because mother’s approval is all that matters, right? Shadow Chloe, when defeated, just falls to her knees and just starts to cry from her eyes underneath her bandana. As it’s taken off, the other eyes bubble away and she just digs her face in Chloe’s shoulder, finally letting her pain out and being acknowledged.

Sabrina: A game show host, Shadow Sabrina puts Sabrina up onto one of those spinning roulette wheels, making the others literally have to play for her life. The stakes continue raising as she keeps telling them to just back out already! Sabrina’s gonna die anyways why don’t they just quit and move on! But they refuse, and it breaks her. She’s just supposed to be a puppet! They let her be a puppet! So why the hell are they doing this now?! Eventually everything falls apart and Shadow Sabrina doesn’t even get a chance to turn into a monster as she just falls to her knees. She tries to spit bitterly at Chloe only to receive a teary hug, and she crumples in her arms.

Lila: A mirror maze, Shadow Lila always being a step ahead and taunting. Her body is glitching, and she almost low key looks like light hope from she ra. Every mirror has a reflection of what she thinks of people, what she remembers events as, and her multiple personas she puts on. Shadow Lila is sick of it. And she as a shadow, she can’t lie, and despite being Lila’s subconscious, she asks her what the truth is. Because Lila lies to herself so much to the point that Shadow Lila herself isn’t sure what she is.

Juleka: I didn’t have any completely solid ideas for this, however! I had ideas of the class walking into like, a circus fair thing. Festival? Idk. And Shadow Juleka would try and throw Juleka into one of those water chambers while setting shit on fire. I was more focused on aesthetics than story. Think Coraline for this one.

Maybe one day I’ll draw these shadow forms. These are the only ones I had ideas for. Shame I abandoned that story, but thanks for hearing about my rambles, maybe one day I’ll do a rewrite

#Miraculous ladybug #miraculous au #miraculous team #miracuclass #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #chloe bourgeois #sabrina raincomprix #lila rossi #juleka couffaine #writing #persona #ml class sugar #chloe redemption #lila redemption #these kids deserve hugs

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fairycosmos · 4 years

Note

what do you do when you're feeling really lonely?

well, since you’re asking - sometimes i cry, other times i just sit. i force myself to think about all of the people in the world and how most of them carry some sense of loneliness even if it doesn’t seem like they do on the surface. looking out my window at all the neighboring houses spilling out golden light helps me remember that there’s so many other lives occurring at the same time as mine, more than my brain can quantify. and a lot of them have parts that are unreachable or have never been seen by others, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or that they don’t matter. i usually move on to considering the planet and the way it’s such a tiny pin prick of activity in the most incomprehensible blackness. when i’m really lonely it hits me how i’m a part of both of those things: the endlessness and the the consciousness. a few months ago i had a bit of a crisis about how we’re all individuals but we’re also a part of the collective and therefore never truly by ourselves. like mary oliver said, time spent alone is still time spent with the world. thats when the tears usually start though. because then i’m analyzing what it is that’s so fundamentally wrong with me that i’m alive at the same time as so many others, sharing this human experience, and i still can’t make them see me. nor can i see them. it feels like the longer you’ve been alone, the better you get at it. and the less you remember how to love and let yourself be loved. you get out of the habit of feeling real before you even realize it, and whose going to want to put up with someone like that? by this point i need to hide under a blanket or stand in my garden so i can take some deep breaths. this usually melts some of the tension, eventually allows me to listen to the hope of the future and it’s possibilities. people can walk in and out of our lives at any moment, as they have done in the past. it’s not a personal flaw to go through periods of isolation. sometimes it helps to get us to be where we need to be in the development of our own lives in order to meet the right people at the right time. even if it’s only one or two good ones every few years. i try to end on the thought that everyone i pass on the street is alone in the togetherness, but that they won’t always be. i usually run my hand over my shoulder as if somebody else is there to ground me, then i put some music on and wait until the silence seems less heavy

#u realize i do everything but try to talk to ppl? thats where i go wrong.....reaching out is an antidote no matter how ashamed u feel #it breaks the cycle #anon

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bisexualmaedhros · 3 years

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[slides into your asks] hi!!! uhm 20, 32, 33, and 36 for da trans ask meme ,, or less if thats too many hehe :—)

not too many at all, friend! thank you for the ask! (this is the post orion got the questions from! i'm a little late answering this ask but anyone's free to send in more! lmk if the link doesn't work)

20. "what do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?"

uh, a lot of things for sure, but mostly these: first, go with what makes you happy. this is not something you can measure. i know that terrifies you, but it also means it's not something anyone else can measure either. you can like girly things without being a girl and still be trans. that's okay. secondly and kind of related to that: you aren't neurotypical, and that probably affects the way you see and experience gender. that's okay. there are people like you who will be happy to talk to you, and they will be wonderful friends. and above everything else, you are not hurting anyone by doing this.

32. "how do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?"

well... in 5 years i'll be 23. i'll probably id and present differently by then at this rate considering the revelations i've been going through recently, lol. i'm not sure how, exactly, but i hope i'm happier then. hoping for a glow-up of some kind...

33. "what trans issue are you most passionate about?"

that's hard to say, to be honest. i'm passionate about a lot, haha. the first thing that comes to mind is the fact that teachers and people in similar positions of authority, especially in regards to children, need to do a much better job of protecting trans people. i listened to my peers spout so much transphobia growing up in school, and teachers never lifted a finger. i had one teacher who i know would've done something had she heard anything, and she was my favorite. one teacher out of the 13+ i had. kids can't swear in class but they can actively make the place unsafe for their trans peers? fuck off with that shit. i'm still mad about that even after graduating.

36. "what, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?"

oh, the difference is huge. i've never felt like my body was my own. it's always felt so alien and shameful, but that became routine and familiar and then for a long time i didn't notice.

i think the difference is that my identity actually feels like me. it feels like something that's really mine, like some kind of pure divine truth that's hard to understand or see every aspect of, something incomprehensible and vast and splintered. but it's mine, it always has been no matter how much i've changed over time. my body is only mine in the sense that i see it every day and so i recognize it, and other people seem to think it's me.

#answered #gender tag #thank u sm!!!#ok to rb #i like talking about this stuff a lot lmao

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wizisbored · 3 years

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What are some of your favorite lines you've written for your fics? (Also I'm sorry things aren't going well right now. Sending love 💜)

right its time to go diggin im using this as an excuse to reread everything because i cant think of any lines off the top of my head even though i know theres a shitton

premptively putting a cut here because this will probably end up long as shit and you know what fuck yea to that because fuck yea to being proud of what youve made

hallelujah, first thing i posted:

If those bastards want to make her part of their shitty musical, then she’s going to make it difficult. Or at least inconvenient.

The hive is not inconvenienced in the slightest.’

- idk if this is as funny as i think it is but i find it funny

"Nobody dies with dignity, Emma. There's no honour in the thing, however you dress it up."

- wrote that to sound creepy and now i cant decide whether i actually think its true

But he’s holding her like she’s his salvation, as if it’s his life hanging in the balance.

- salvation is just a good word tbh

It’s hopeless, but she refuses to be killed by a game of fucking ‘got your nose’.

purgatory, intended to be a shitpost but now i unironically think of it as the best thing ive ever written

After a few years (or maybe seconds, it’s not clear) / it takes a moment (or maybe it doesn’t, who knows?) / An undocumentable amount of time passes. / They might have slipped into an uneasy silence lasting millenia - or milliseconds - if it wasn’t for the jolly tune that suddenly fills the air. / for minutes or years or millenia or maybe even eons / After a brief, indescribably long nap / But the incomprehensible amount of time seems somehow shorter this time.

- 2 in one of fucking with the concept of time and hinting at an unreliable narrator, hell yea. its about the weird atmosphere, baybeeeee

“Does one day of trying the hardest we could outweigh years of not trying at all?” Emma wonders aloud. Paul squeezes her hand.

“I damn hope so.”

He doesn’t ask if she believes in Hell.

- even without context i like this line but in context it really helped set the sombre tone so i could do a full 180 at the end of the chapter

Emma wonders whether they’ve been sent to musical hell for failing to stop the musical apocalypse

- love the implication that there is a hell dedicated to annoying people via musical theatre

“You said- you told her you’d never be in a musical?”

“Yes.”

“And then you died performing a musical number?”

“I- yeah, I did.”

“Brilliant! Now, that is stupid!”

- probably my best characterisation of death, sounds like something that would be said in a stupid deaths bit, i can hear it in his voice

teachers pet

“It’s only blatant if people know about it. So in actual fact this is secret favouritism.”

- hidgens gives absolutely 0 shits about the ethics of the situation good for him

“And if that is kidnapping, well, consider yourself kidnapped.”

- once again ethics simply do not matter

“Oh, where is your sense of adventure? Are you not curious about the results of washing baked beans?”

- this line hants me when im trying to make stew or just have some fucking beans on toast because I am curious about the results of washing baked beans

“Well, if it isn’t, and we both die, then I’ll be quite disappointed. We did spend all evening on this, after all.”

- priorities

finishing what we started, actually originally a scrapped ending idea for igtlt that i liked too much to abandon entirely

“How many bullets?” He eventually asks.

“Enough.”

- they just know what theyve got to do

Only thing left to say is a big ol’ fuck you to… God, everyone else in the fucking world. Oh, and God. Fuck you God, you prick.

- gotta love them tto refs

wildfire, almost 20,000 words of angst that im going to read through because fuck it why not

She doesn't understand the order, at least not yet; a dog doesn't understand the first time she's called to heel. But that can change. Though, from the bared teeth of this dog, the trader guesses it may take a while.

- this is actually something i really like doing in narration, calling a character something in dialogue or comparison and then directly calling them it in the narration

He understands; she doesn't want to show weakness to someone who could exploit her, doesn't want to show gratitude to someone she hates. But the tribeswoman is tired and scared and hurt, and it's obvious. She's broken, at least for today.

The loneliness, however, refuses to wane. It settles in her chest like a physical need, a craving for closeness.

- got inspiration for this description by thinking about hugging my partner while i was stuck in lockdown

"You can say that again," the older woman mutters, shaking her head. "God-fuckin'-damnit, Lauren, why d'you never think about the implications?"

Jemilla turns to her with a questioning look. "Who's Lauren?"

"She-" Molag begins to explain, then pauses. She thinks for a moment, then shakes her head. "I don't even know."

- crossover jokes hell yea

He’s tolerable, she’s decided, at least relatively so, but not trustworthy. If she could truly trust him then he wouldn’t be involved in all this. If she could trust him, she wouldn’t know him.

The thinly-veiled threat in his grin

She stares up at the man, shaking, whimpering, pleading. Wordlessly begging for him to stop.

- gotta love reaching the breaking point

She probably looks insane, bruised and bloody and laughing quietly to herself in a cage. She doesn’t care. They can think she’s insane, just as long as they don’t think they broke her.

laughing as they rediscover half-forgotten days spent as children let loose in a world that seemed so huge and yet so small at the same time

“You know, kids like Zazzalil - scrawny little things born as Autumn died - they’re not supposed to see Spring.”

- i will see any character without a detailed fleshed-out backstory and say ‘is anyone going to make headcannons about that’ and then not wait for an answer

Maybe the pain will shock her out of her head.

im going to live twice

It feels more like a bag of broken crockery than a human.

- this was the only time ive ever had to describe something really gory and decided to make it as uncomfy as possible

she notices with a concerning level of non-concern

Paul Matthews is gone, boy. And if I catch you using a dead man’s name again, well.

- its about the ✨forced disconnect✨

It stares at him, and for a moment he sees the young man that Benny used to be, silently pleading for the agent to tell him he'll be okay.

"In my defence, that was the Colonel's idea.” The man raises his hands in surrender. “I wanted to call you Lauren. I was outvoted.”

- i will take literally any chance to make a 4th wall joke and that is a threat

“I’ll see what can be done,” he assures it, knowing full well that nothing will be.

- xander doesnt flat out abuse emma in the way mcnamara and shaffer do but hes still cruel in subtler ways

“No chance of being hurt?”

Xander nods. “No chance of you being hurt.”

- ✨foreshadowing ✨

If only he was free, free to just get up and go find Blue and tell her - actually tell her, out loud, with words - that she’s going to be okay. If only he could say that and have it be the truth.

She holds onto that piano. Right now, as she kneels crying into the tabletop, it's all she has.

- ‘sir thats my emotional support near-complete stranger’

smoke and feathers

Irony can be a cruel, twisted bitch.

- probably the best opener ive written

There’s a sort of pathetic irony in the fact that she slipped on a stone while wading across a shallow stream and broke her neck.

The stars move across the sky, and she still doesn’t know why.

- sounds poetic and all while also being a fuck you to the chorn twist because i hate it

It seems like every time she looks away the moon goes from waxing to waning and back again, time marching onwards in one unending night, swallowing one unending forest.

Even with her limited view of the person’s face, Zazzalil can see the softness in their expression. She’s hit with a pang of longing for Jemilla.

They share those tender looks that make Zazzalil long for home.

The kind of silence only shared between people who can appreciate the simplicity of each other’s presence

aaand thats pretty much all of em. i know when you said ‘some’ you probably meant less than this but i will give a consice answer to a question when pigs fly. i was going to do the double e au too but its past 1 am now and im going to bed. thanks for this ask because whether intentionally or not you just made me read 48,860 words of fic and thats a damn good distraction when things are getting a bit shitty :)

#igtlt fic #wildfire fic #teachers pet fic #sf fic

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sofhtie · 5 years

Note

all i want from life is a second season of fantasy high where aelwyn gets out of jail, and moves back to elmville to (begrudgingly) reunite with adaine where they end up bonding over spell work and their shared trauma and become actual sisters instead of rivals who have the same parents (and maybe elianwyn joins them after she leaves her bastard husband)

FINALLY someone who GETS IT

anon i’m so sorry about how long this took me to answer but i just have a lot of feelings about her and am bad at expressing them consisely! anyways im now using this ask to rant about aelwyn and give my Thoughts on her so…. thats under the cut

so first of all. she’s seventeen (at most!!!) which is crazy to me bc like. i’m seventeen so i feel very qualified to say that seventeen-year-olds are just tiny balls of stress who have no clue what they’re doing. even tho her crazy shenanigans are fun for like, entertainment purposes on the show they’re actually extremely worrying if you take them seriously (which i, being an overthinker, of course, do). like, she shouldn’t be secretly partying and trying to get as messed up as possible and joining up with an evil dragon, she should just be. enjoying her life and hanging out with friends and maybe worrying about fantasy college. but she doesn’t get to do any of that!

it seems to me that most of what aelwyn is trying to get throughout the season is some kind of attention and validation. her parents like her more than adaine, sure, but they still treat her more like a trophy to show off than a real person. she doesn’t have any friends at school. so instead she goes to parties hosted by people she doesn’t even like and summons them elementals to hook up with just so she’ll keep getting invited back.

i think what is most heartbreaking to me is how isolated she is–her parents have raised her to believe that to have any value at all she needs to constantly be proving herself to superior to others which. needless to say is an absolutely terrible midset. personally i believe that her lack of empathy towards others is a pretty direct result of this, because the only way to really keep this up long term is to earnestly believe that others are lesser to you. like, spend enough time with parents (and likely other adult figures that she gets praise from) telling you you are exceptional, and you’ll start to believe it.

but as a result of all of this, there is legitimately no one in her life who is soft and gentle and caring towards her. i doubt anyone’s ever told her that she matters to them. vulnerability, tenderness, simply isn’t a thing in her life. and that can fuck up a young person so much.

that being said, i’d bet she also deals with something a lot of kids who were designated as “the smart one” when they were young deal with: never learning how to cope with any type of failure or struggle. messing up? it’s just not an option for her. both because she never learned how to do that without hating herself, and because even if she did, her parent’s affection is so blatantly conditional that she’s probably terrified of losing it in an instant. ultimately, it seems most of who she is in her life has been built specifically to please them, so i’m sure that would seriously hurt her.

so i wonder if maybe, when kalvaxis asked her for help, she agreed because to her it felt like finally, someone truly appreciated her powers. someone admired what she could do, and in a weird, twisted way, it made her feel wanted. even if just as a part of a team, even if just as a minion. it’s something.

anyways to conclude i just. i have a lot of feelings about this girl and what she’s been through and what she’s become. to be willing to become a part of a plot to basically destroy the world as you know it, you can’t think that world has much to offer you.

i really hope that someday she’s able to get away from her shitty parents and realize how toxic of an influence they’ve been on her, and how unhealthy all her behavior was. she can apologize to adaine and together they can finally develop a healthy relationship and just. have fun. be sisters. and aelwyn can become an adventurer or maybe take up some form of art or maybe just be a counselor a la jawbone but. most of all she can be happy

sorry if this is incomprehensible i just have a lot of feelings and have given up on making some version of this post that makes any real sense and isn’t just me crying

#fantasy high #aelwyn abernant #dimension 20 #aelwen abernant

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mind-writing0 · 5 years

Text

Chapter 40

He rocked back and forth to pass time, and as he looked up, the sun was beginning to set in the trees. He was imagining hearing things, distant shouts of incomprehensible words. They were getting closer, louder! Virgil lifted his head quickly. There were figures scraping their way through the plants. They wore royal blue guards suits and gold trimmings, it was the guards, they'd found him.

Virgil stood up and scrambled towards them. "I'm here, I'm here!" He saw Dan among them, not hesitating before running straight into his arms. The other guards in his group must have assumed that he was in shock, so they let it slide.

"Are you hurt?" One of the guards asked cautiously.

"Just a few scrapes here and there," Virgil replied absentmindedly. Then he smiled and faked a pout, "One of your bullets ripped my favorite suit."

The guards all seemed surprised, especially Dan, though they laughed. "Fascinating," said one, "I don't think any of those other contestants could do what you just did today."

"Well, none of those other contestants is a Five." Virgil said smugly.

"You need help walking? I could carry you if you need it." Dan offered. Virgil didn't really need it, though he took up the offer anyway. As Dan lifted him bridal style, Virgil wondered briefly if Lance and Officer Kogane ever did anything like this, anything obvious, before the night of the Halloween Ball. Then the thought made him uneasy, so he tried to push it from his mind and instead think of how warm and comforting Dan's body was against his, how he could feel his steady breathing and know they were both okay. Besides, there were other things to think about...

"Dan," Virgil whispered, "there's something odd about those rebels..."

"What do you mean?" Dan raised an eyebrow, though he continued marching forward with eyes forward, so as not to attract suspicion.

"There was a girl...she saw me. She looked so young, maybe my age. She curtsied at me, like a maid. Her bag was full of books...and I don't understand any of it. She didn't hurt me, though, so I think she was a Northern Rebel."

"Northern Rebel?" Dan asked incredulously, "There's not rebels from certain parts, V, they're all just attackers."

Virgil caught himself beginning to doubt the things he'd learned. Nothing seemed to be explained to him, and when it was, it didn't make sense. Why wouldn't someone just tell him the truth. "I...I don't know. That's just what Roman told me."

"Because he's always right," Dan scoffed quietly. "Perfect Prince Roman knows everything."

"More than you," Virgil was beginning to get angry. Just because Dan was a guard for a few months didn't mean he had all the answers. "He's been in the palace his whole life." He paused, "I don't want to get in a fight, I don't think I could handle it anyway. What do you think the books were for?"

"I don't know..." Dan replied thoughtfully, "kindling? Maybe it's cold where they live, if they're from the North."

"I wish she dropped one of her books...or I wish this all didn't seem like a mystery...I'm tired..." Virgil echoed faintly, head falling against Dan's chest.

"Then rest, V. I'll take care of you."

Virgil felt something odd in that, or the way he said that, though his eyes slipped shut before thinking too much into it.

When he woke up, he was in soft white sheets in the hospital wing. There was someone holding his hand, thumb running over his knuckles quickly. The anxiety of this person was evident in the quick tapping of a shoe under the bed.

"You're awake," Roman said breathlessly, "they said you were okay but I was still worried. I just wanted to see your beautiful face, love...and I know that physically being okay isn't the same as mentally."

"I'm okay, Roman, I promise." Virgil grinned a little at Roman's usual antics. No matter what happened, he'd always be a flirt, a charmer, a reason to smile. "I just saw some unusual stuff in the woods, and I wanna tell someone who'll believe me."

Roman raised an eyebrow, "You didn't halucinate, did you?"

"What? No. I mean...I saw someone in the woods. A Rebel. She saw me, but she just curtsied. Her bag was full of books." Virgil took a deep breath, hoping that Roman wouldn't half-blow him off like Dan did.

Roman looked like he'd received an odd but wanted Christmas present. "I knew it!" He exclaimed, "They are looking for something! Maybe...I hope so...but at the same time...I don't want to worry about that right now. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wish they wouldn't bring me to the hospital wing so much. I appreciate it and all, but it's kind of embarrassing. All I have is a few scrapes. When can I go back to my room?"

Roman thought for a moment, "Tomorrow, most likely. I just wanted to take some pro-cautions. Besides..." he blushed a little, "I'm not allowed to visit the Elite rooms after nine PM. It's to prevent...certain things, and there are ways around it, but..." he shrugged with a sheepish smile. "I appreciate the traditional Selection rules."

"Oh..." Virgil blushed as well, thinking briefly of the other Elite, and how far they would go to win the contest. Patton and Logan would never...probably...but Bill? The thought of him manipulating Roman in that way alone made him nauseous. "Well...I'm going back to sleep. Would they get mad if you stayed? Then again, never mind, you should get some sleep too, sorry."

"No, that's okay." Roman grinned, "The staff probably wouldn't like it, though, and neither would my father. I have to go...I'll see you soon, though. Goodnight, darling."

"Goodnight, princey."

Roman glanced back at the nickname, and Virgil smiled. It seemed that no matter what, a mystery or a love crisis or when life was ripping either of them apart—they would always be themselves, just simple children, around each other."

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idreamofwolves · 5 years

Text

Old Times -Part One

Summary: Negan stumbles upon a familiar face from life before the end of the world.

Pairing: Negan (The Walking Dead) x OC

The dead walk the earth, the living survive on nothing but fuel in the form of safe houses and scraps of food they find or hunt. It wasn’t the way Emily ever thought things would be, or anyone for that matter, but there she was, hiding out in some old, abandoned cottage in the middle of the woods. She thought this would be her safe place, somewhere she could feel comfortable sleeping without the fear of being eaten by walkers in her sleep. She was wrong.

Emily had woken in the middle of the night to the sound of pounding on her front door that she’d hardly reinforced given her false sense of safety. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two came when fear started to override rational thought. Instead of running for weapons when the door cracked open, she attempted to hide herself in a small closet.

As the dead drug their feet in, they became frantic, or as frantic as the dead could be, in search for the living flesh they smelled and craved. Her hands shook and tears ran down her face. “This is it. This is how it’s going to end.” She thought, feeling more hopeless than ever.

Just when she had given up all hope, she heard something that would change the course of her awful night. The croaking sounds of walkers dying tang through the cottage, making her perk up and wonder what on earth was going on out there.

When the sounds of smashing and crushing finally came to a close, foot steps could be heard around the area. It seemed like only one person, but Emily couldn’t imagine a scenario where one person could kill so many walkers. And although it was against her better judgement, she slowly and quietly crawled out of the closet. She gasped as she was quickly met with the rotting face in hers. She threw herself into her back and took in the bloody scene around her.

Just as she started to get overwhelmed, a figure in the doorway took her attention. “Ho-ly shit!” The man exclaimed, oddly amused somehow. A barbed wire covered bat was sling over his shoulder, dripping with blood. He seemed unfazed by this. “We got a live one.”

“You did this?” She asked, not sure what she was more horrified by, the graveyard around her or the man above her that caused it without a flinch.

“Yeah and saved your ass in doing so.” He chuckled as he rest back on his heel. “What’s your name, doll?” The room was dark and she couldn’t see much, but she recognized that voice from somewhere.

“Emily.” She answered without thought, his demeanor and authoritative stance made her feel afraid, but he’d just saved her life. She couldn’t be anything less than grateful. “Thank you, for this.”

“Emily.. Have we met?” She was taken aback by the question, but upon really looking at him, she realized he was right. They’d met before, long before the outbreak.

“Negan?” She answered, trying to hold back a smile. She stood up and brushed herself off quickly before going back to the conversation. “You’re alive? What are you doing here?” She hurried to him and hugged him out of a rush of relief and joy.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He hugged her back, almost dropping his beloved bar in the process. His smile was still there, but it wasn’t the normal, cocky grin he often wore. He was shocked to find someone from his old life, relieved even. It suddenly made him miss the old days.

They’d met long before the outbreak, looking at her was like looking into the past, into a place he dearly missed when he let himself think about it.

He pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. He looked almost just as he did the last time he saw her, except maybe more muscular now. “I haven’t seen you since..” she trailed off, remembering exactly when she saw him last but didn’t want to say.

“Since the bar.” He finished, and in the back of both of their minds they remembered their first and last meetings.

Negan’s wife, Lucille, was harsh and demanding and every part of him felt his marriage had failed. They fought so often that he barely knew what it was like to laugh with a woman anymore, until he met Emily. He’d often go to the bar to get out for a while and let things cool off at home. That’s where he met her.

She was shy and new to bar tending, she wasn’t cut out for it but she was pretty and men tipped well. It wasn’t what she really wanted to do in life, but it paid the bills.

It was a slow night when Emily came into work. It was the last shift, and a short one at that. She was ready to go home as soon as she came, until she noticed the tired looking man at the end of the bar. A few others lingered as they sipped their drinks, but it was him she was interested in. “Hey.” She smiled as she gained his attention. “You okay?”

“Doin’ great doll.” It seemed like he’d actually meant to sound more honest, but it came out sarcastic. “Mind filling this up?” He slid his glass over to her, and motioned toward the nearby bottle of whiskey.

She lowly watched him as she poured the whiskey. She slid his glass back and checked on the other bar dwellers. After a few moments of contemplation, she went back to him. “Want to talk about it?” She pried, making him chuckle.

“That obvious, huh?” He rubbed his eyes with his hand and took a deep breath. “Think I’m here for the same reason most of these lonely, alcoholic bastards are here for. Angry wife.”

“Ooh. That bad, huh?” She rested her elbows on the bar and sipped on her soda. “By the look on your face, I’m guessing it’s one of two things. This is your first big fight with a wife you’re crazy in love with, which I’m going to doubt since I’ve seen you here once or twice, or this is becoming so common that you don’t know what to do anymore. Am I close?” She found it easy to talk with him, despite her normal reserved nature.

“Spot on, sweetheart.” He chuckled and sipped his drink, looking confident but deep down she knew he was feeling down.

“It’s Emily.” She smiled and lightly tapped her name tag. She got a smile out of him, which was really all she wanted.

“Negan.”

From that moment on, they bonded over broken relationships and their off sense of humor. It was an unexpected friendship laced with some kind of flirtatious nature, as time went on.

Negan quickly became attached to Emily, as he was able to use her as therapist and friend. She reminded him how to laugh, and she helped him forget about the rest of the world outside of the bar. And although the friendship was innocent enough, he knew himself enough to know he had feelings for her.

Emily, on the other hand, was incredibly oblivious to Negan’s flirting. She saw it as a joke most of the time, just friends kidding around, even if it did make her heart beat out of her chest. He wasn’t someone she ever imagined she’d want to be with, but she couldn’t help but imagine it at times. She found safety in him, as he was always there to ward off the seemingly sexual predators that frequented the bar now and then who always wanted more than a drink from her. She found solace in him, knowing she could vent if she needed to and ask for his opinion. He was honest and caring, something rare, she thought.

The last time Negan saw Emily, he knew it would be the last. The news of Lucille’s cancer made things hard for him, and he knew he couldn’t keep seeing this girl anymore. As much as it hurt him, he knew he had to let her go.

He walked into the bar, his composure slightly different than normal. His confident stride and cocky smirk had completely vanished. “Hey you.” Emily greeted him as he took his normal seat. He mumbles out some sort of greeting, but it was incomprehensible. “What’s up buttercup? Bad day?” She asked, thinking he and Lucille must have gotten into some kind of major fight.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Definitely a bad day.”

Emily frowned, she hated seeing him upset. “Whiskey kind of day, huh?” She poured him a drink but he put his hand out to stop her.

“Look sweetheart, I’m not staying today. I just wanted to drop in and give ya this.” He dropped a folder note down on the bar for her to read. He didn’t have the courage to tell her what he desperately needed to say, especially knowing it wouldn’t get him anywhere anyway.

Emily picked up the letter and looked him in his sad eyes, somehow knowing she wouldn’t see him again. “What’s this?” She asked, not really wanting to open it.

He sighed and looked away for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. “Read it later, okay? Lucille’s got cancer so I won’t be around much anymore. Just thought I’d say ‘bye’ to my favorite bar tender.” He tried to make it light, but this didn’t feel good for him, it felt like a break up.

“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” She nodded, squeezing the paper in her hand. “Well I hope I see you around some time, Negan.” She forced a smile, even though no part of her felt like smiling.

“Me too, princess.” He walked out, feeling more broken than he ever had. It was hard, knowing she was about to find out what he’d been feeling, and not being able to do anything about it. Not to mention the guilt he started to feel about having feelings for another woman while he was married.

It was tough on the both of them, but they never saw each other again. Not before the outbreak, that is.

“Yeah. The bar.” She said, slowly. She didn’t want to remember that night, but she still had his note. She carried it with her the moment she’d been forced to flee her home, knowing it was all she had left of him and the old life she’d lived.

“I’m real sorry about that Em.” He started, but she didn’t want him to finish.

“How’s Lucille? Is she-“

“Dead.” He said, abruptly. “She died while all the shit started hitting the fan. Turned into one of them.” He shrugged, feeling a little defeated. He hadn’t really talked about it before, but he knew he could trust her.

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” She hadn’t expected that answer, somehow.

“Don’t be. I’m glad she didn’t have to deal with this shit show.” He motioned around them, and she knew where he was coming from. Part of her wished she never had to deal with it too, but the other option scared her more.

“Right.” She nodded and looked out the window. She felt nervous, never did she think this opportunity would come. Honestly she figured he was dead. “So what are you doing here? On the run?”

“Never.” He said, confidently. “I run a place called The Sanctuary. It’s an old compound we fenced in. We take in everyone we can, make deals with other communities, you know.”

“Thats sounds amazing. I’ve been on my own since this started. Somehow I’m still not any good at fighting these things.” She laughed, knowing her weaknesses.

“How the hell have you been living in this without fighting?” He asked, semi amused but mostly worried.

“I just go from house to house. I board everything up and live on the food and stuff there until it runs out, then I venture off to a new home.” She wasn’t proud of the way she’d been living, and honestly she had very little contact with anyone since the beginning. It was amazing to her not only seeing someone, but seeing someone she knew.

“Come on, come to The Sanctuary with me. We got food and hot water, even beer.” The offer was enough without the luxuries he’d mentioned. She realized she still had feelings for him, and she wondered if he still felt the way he said he did in the letter. There was only one way for her to find out.

“I’d love to, thank you.”

#negan #twd #the walking dead #twd negan #negans thirst squad #negan fic #negan x oc #the sanctuary

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