#i just cant do it. i cant go home.

[southislandwren]

ALRIGHT I’m home now and I also called my mom and my dad was listening in too. Anyway my dad says that that line about going from there is him being like. Into the idea and not just agreeing to hanging out because I’m asking. And my friends were like WOOOHOOOOO but idk man I am so stressed out I don’t want to fuck this up 😭

edited to add (so i dont spam posts tonight) i think on saturday i'll wear my normal clothes and hat but i'll keep my hair down. hes seen me without a hat on briefly (via fieldtrips and wearing hardhats, and at work, but that's with my hair in a bun and a hairnet on) but hes never seen my hair like. Down. and i want saturday to be like subtly special. not like knock his socks off special but yknow. a little more vulnerable than jeans and a sweatshirt

#I mean you guys have literally been here since I was first like ohhhh #man idk. I like him and I want to see what happens #and I think I’ll stay in SD a little longer anyway because I really cannot go home. it’s so fucking noisy and smelly all the time #argghhhhhh. okay I’m going to eat dinner now #I love you tumblrinas #alright im back from dinner. anyway that thing about staying in SD is like if I DO end up in a relationship i dont want it to just end #and hes staying in SD. but unless i got a job at His Job we'd be commuting anyway #but 2 hours or whatever is better than 14 #anyway. im getting ahead of myself. but i just need a good reason to not go home #i just cant do it. i cant go home. #for one thing. its easier to deal with the grief if im not Right There looking at his food dishes every day #oogh also.... hes gonna have to hear about sam eventually. especially if we start dating. which will coincide with March pretty well #i dont know about that.... #i mean i told my friends tonight i was like 'i have so many secrets' and they were like you dont have to tell him EVERYTHING. #but idk i do feel like if im gonna trust someone enough to date them they should know my secrets #im so scared lol idk how people just do this shit #also what if hes a good little christian boy and hates gay people. IM a gay people. #okay anyway i NEED to study for repro like this is life or death. i need to pass repro #(life or death bc either me or dad will end me if i fail lmaooooo) #boy post

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

biting is a love language biting is a love language Biting Is A Love Language-

#gee... how come barnaby gets to bite His best friend but i cant bite MY besties... so unfair... #obsessed with the mental image of wally latching on like a bulldog #and just. Not Letting Go. #he is Reciprocating. he is Expressing His Affection Barnaby Style. what do you mean hes Holding On Too Tight #idk i think id compliment barn's new earring. its a handsome little thing #the sillies.... #they continue to make me So fucking emotional <3 #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #name a better pair of best friends you caaaaaanttttttttt you simply Cannot!!!! #wailing sobbing eating glass etc

[poofbark]

been kinda depressed lately so i cant finish almost any of my drawings but heres 2 very contrasting bkdks for the poof fans out there

#bkdk #dkbk #ktdk #bakudeku #bkdk fanart #bakudeku fanart #mha #bnha #mha fanart #bnha fanart #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugo #so like everyday i get up i go to school i come home BURNT OUT and then i cant draw bc too tired and also hw #so when i DO have free time i just play genshin impact all day </3 #poof art #my autism academia...

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt? #i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other?? #why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this?? #i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us?? #im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

[cuubism]

as much as i love traditionally married dreamling - and do i - i also have this bruised softness in my heart for 'what we have is outside relationship constructs, define it at your own peril' dreamling, for 'drifting in and out of each other's orbit with each other as perennial anchor point' dreamling, 'i haven't seen you in sixty years but what's that to an immortal, you are always in my heart' dreamling, 'our lives are not quite one but neither are they apart' dreamling. drop in on me, i am always ready to welcome you. and i will always let you go.

hob as a fixture, a constancy, a hearth, and dream as a wild creature coming in from the cold. it cannot be kept, and you would commit no such sin of trying to, but it can be held, warm, before the fireplace for a while. let it go, and trust that it will come back.

hob as a wanderer, life to life to life, and dream as an ancient, enduring kingdom whose protection is reachable just by closing your eyes. continuance impossible in the waking world but offered as easily as a kiss on the cheek.

there is no keeping a dream, is the thing. and dream does not want to be kept, but he does want to be held, held and let go and held again with those arms always open to him. there is no keeping an adventurer, either, and hob is an adventurer at heart, always ready to see, do, the next thing, but adventurers need a home, too, one that doesn't mind when they come back a little bit different.

go where you need to, when you need to. carry my love with you. and come back to me.

that kind of dreamling.

#aka the dynamic of only lovers left alive #auressea if youre out there i saw your comment on the desire fic about relationship anarchy and i was thinkin about it thanks #and then i was reading about it and found the term anchor person and i was like oh.yes #this is not to say they *cant* have domestic married life they can they contain multitudes XD #though the more i think about it the more i think hob would not be happy being permanently in the dreaming #like if dream were to be like hey do u want to come live with me here. he wouldn't want to. unless he was literally going to die or somethn #he can make a second home of it sure and he does love it there but he's a creature of the waking world almost more so than most others #like dream is a creature of the dreaming. or rather is the dreaming #anyway #the sandman #dreamling #sandman meta #idk i guess? #just thoughts #my writing

[pictureday2005]

i dont need therapy or medication i need it to be 2007. i need it to be my full time job to learn and explore and be curious about the world around me again

#crayon on envelope #i cant do any of that shit when i gotta have a job #i really miss when all i had to do was go to school #like i didnt realize how good i had it at the time #go in for like six hours and still have time and sunlight to do what i wanted when i got home #weekends off where all your friends Also have it off so you can organize hanging out #the whole summer to yourself #honestly i feel like id be doing so much better psychologically if i could have summer vacation again lol #bc at least then i was working towards something #just gotta get through the year so i can enjoy my summer #now its like. why am i even doing all of this #why is my only goal to suffer till i get a paycheck #and i dont even get to keep most of it #pointless luv litchrally pointless

[p4nishers]

"why did the will scene feel like a love confession tho" bc it was one!!! hope this helps!

#nobody says shit like that i just like being annoying about my theories #eddie's been waiting for buck since the shooting and you know what im actually good to jump off that bridge yeah #thinking bout how buck probably been pissed at eddie ever since cause by putting him in the will eddie basically declars that he cant die #meaning he breaks the 'i have ur back' promise cause if eddie is in danger he cant just risk everything to save or even die with him bc he #has chris to go home too. obviously both of them do but yk what i mean #anyway i could talk abt that scene for hours and hourse #911 fox #evan buckley #buddie #eddie diaz #buddie 911 #buck x eddie

[occupyvenus]

Guess who's started to watch the Atla liveaction remake, only to be swept away by a massive wave of nostalgia for the original, stopped watching the remake half-way-through and decided to do her first proper OG Atla rewatch since before TLoK aired instead?

Yes, me. It's me.

Get ready, cause I'm gonna blog about Atla the way I would have back in 2000-fucking-8 if I had had access to a functioning internet connection.

Blacklast #zutara and #anti-bryke RIGHT NOW if you don't want daily updates on why Zutara should have been canon.

Welcome to the twisted mind of 15-year-old me.

PS I just reached The Storm and I AM NOT OKAY

#zutara #atla #atla-rewatch #anti-bryke #anti-kataang #just so everyone knows where I stand #god I haven't properly been on Tumblr for so long #I missed the GIFs and the memes and everything #coming back to tumblr feels like coming home #do any of my mutuals still exist on here? #is the #jonsa #fam still around? #not really relevant really but I cant NOT tag my other OTP that should have been for my grand return can I? #getting dragged back into fandom is going to end with me rereading asoiaf anyway

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me #i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job #when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever #im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do #im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far #but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird #all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job #and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration #or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing #which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn #im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor #unrelated

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

warlock wizard Wally scribbles... Thinkings! oh and a bonus bard-ish Barnabys in the corner for flavor

outfit ramblings:

first of all that is a Terrible rendition of what Home looks like in my head. i just needed to fill empty space </3

the staff was the toughest part honestly. bc it Had to be paintbrush-themed, but then halfway through scribbling i was like "oh shit. there are only so many ways to draw a paintbrush-wizard-staff and Weevmo already hit it out of the park." so if you're seeing similarities! you're right! i tried to make it as different as i could! there is Inspiration from their marvelous design, however accidental or subconscious! Apologies!

he gets a pointed hood instead of a hat because a) it looks great on him! and b) it has less of a chance of messing up his hair! also c) it helps muddle the difference between Wizard and Warlock. typically hoods have evil/duplicitous connotation - blur the lines! i want his long gloves and forearm wraps to have the same vibe. his neckerchief is a big help in hiding Home's seal!

his layered (loosely apple-themed) capelet (which the hood is attached to) has a nice high collar & hides the details of his loose shirt - eye embroidery! and some flowers on the shoulders but yk, mostly eyes. on one side of the shirt buttons has open eyes, the other side they're closed! there's also one big eye on his back!

his belt buckle is two halves of an apple! he wears tall thigh-high boots w/ low heels to feel Taller! he has a book-holster hooked to the back of his belt, which holds his grimoire! and he has a lil thigh-bag that has been magicked to be Bottomless and warps size! he can fit pretty much anything in there! canvases! paint! apples!

his half-skirt thing (idk what the word for it is!) is really plush, like a quilt - his capelet is the same fabric. soft, cozy. sometimes he'll use the skirt thing as a blanket in a pinch, or as a picnic placemat!

is his outfit a little Complicated? is it annoying to replicate? yes and yes. but im a maximalist at heart and Nothing But The Best for the blorbo <3 layers my beloved <3

#i know ive said it before but whenever i make an au its essentially an Exploration in a sense #and this fantasy au ~Bog Edition~ is basically me going #'so wally and his house huh. whats up with that' #and maybe im taking it a bit to the extremes #since home is pretty much warlock wally's god??? sorta? loosely?? #well it literally gave wally life and a body. so. #and it also literally took the place of his heart - wally Cannot live without home #they have a fun 'we cant exist without each other now' codependent very devoted kinda unhealthy relationship #wally sometimes has to do terrible things for home #and home will do terrible things in return for wally. even when wally doesnt want them to #and they both love each other very much <3 what kind of love is it <3 fuck if i know! theyre Weird About It though #its the only dynamic an ancient lovecraftian horror & the puppet they gave life & tethered itself to can have!!! #wally wisely keeps home & his 'warlock' status a secret from his friends for as long as he can #they just dont understand his & home's bond smh #scribble salad #welcome home #wh fantasy au #gonna have to workshop barns.... #i need to balance the fantasy + hes a distinguished fella + bard #hence the hat. the hat stays. #gotta find the right vest... #and then everyone else if i feel like it.... #outfit design is so Grueling but i refuse to keep it simple #there have to be LAYERS it has to be IN CHARACTER i have to put ALL THE EFFORT INTO IT

[expatesque]

Well ladies (gn), it might have been unexpected but funemployment isn't starting off too bad.

#I was fired! Truly unexpected and truly proof that April is not my month! #(the break-up was last April) #anyway i was not passionate about investing which is true but also stupid because they were happy with my work #they kept telling me they knew I'd be spectacular at any job I wanted but they could tell i didnt really want this one #which is vaguely true but like i enjoyed it enough. i probably would have left in about a year but #for once! i would like a few months! where do i not have to make a life changing decision!!! #I'd like to just live for a bit!! #so I'm home now going to travel going to italy going to read and write and we'll see #s narrates her life #truly April 23-24 has been like... Blow up your life 2k19 HARD MODE #and more like have your life blown up really #c'est la vie #they're paying me for six months so I cant actually complain complain #it's the sabbatical i wanted but better because im being paif #paid* #but worse because im unemployed haha

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[inkybinkyboink]

urinetown headcanons (under the cut) while i wait for my headphones to charge >:)

there are. so many.

hope is a total plant mom

her place is like. decked OUT in plants. they are her pride and joy

just like. assume that they all have water. for now.

bobby does not get it. at all. but he's so supportive

bobby and hope get a puppy together and the puppy is scared of loud noises but so is bobby so when hope vacuums they hide in the broom closet together

officer lockstock watches drag race like an olympic sport. it's his version of like a laker's game or a yankees game or whatever

avid bianca del rio stan and i will die on that hill

no sorry i just gotta take a second to like.

lockstock 100% lives in like. your grandparents house. it's decorated the same way. blankets over chairs and couches, plants, LOTS of books, antiques, that sort of thing. vintage but like. humble?

officer barrel collects coins

you're gonna look at this man and tell me he doesnt collect coins?

you're lying

ms. pennywise is a tea fanatic

lesbian hot blades harry

little sally's favorite movie is Coraline

and she definitely takes apart toys and puts them back together to make little frankensteinian creatures like sid in toy story

lockstock would make a hella cool university english professor

tiny tom believes that the moon landing was faked

hope sews

ms pennywise's favorite book is definitely like wuthering heights or something

personally. i think. as someone who's played barrel. that were he given the opportunity to come to terms with his own identity, he would go and sincerely apologize to everyone he's hurt over the years.

like he probably wouldn't be forgiven, and i don't know if he deserves to be, but i think he would at least recognize the severity of his actions

lockstock taught little sally how to roller skate

little sally has an ant farm kit

caldwell b. cladwell has an eerie amount of world war 1 and 2 books.

mcqueen and millenium marathon euphoria together

fipp collects rocks and minerals

barrel lowkey knows how to cook a good ass meal

little becky two shoes is the type of person who you run into leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette while it's pouring rain and if you talk to her you're getting unskippable lore

kinda like your wine aunt but on drugs

little sally made lockstock a friendship bracelet once

idk i kinda feel like lockstock had a kid once and then they like. passed away or something. i just feel like lockstock has a tragic backstory but i dont know what it is

ma strong gets migraines and it got passed down to bobby

*chants* sick fics sick fics sick fics

ok i have a theory that the amenity numbers correspond with street numbers. so it's called amenity number nine because it's on ninth avenue. that way the numbers also still correspond to the quality of the toilets.

so the cops would have jurisdiction based on where the amenities are. that way it makes sense that they're the only two cops, because they only have jurisdiction in that particular area.

ok im done :)

#urinetown #k literally. i have upstairs neighbours and they are. so loud. all of the time. and me and my roommates have done everything we can to get #them to quiet down and they literally wont like its fucking sadistic man #anyways #my point is #i had earplugs and headphones on last night so i could sleep #and then my headphones died bc i had them on all night #and i realized that i left the charging cable at home which is like an hour drive away so i cant just go get it #and i need to clean my place and i cant do that without my headphones #so i had to go get a mfing charger from the store #and THATS why i had to wait for my headphones to charge :)

[s0fter-sin]

when midoriya punches the zero pointer at the entrance exam, all might says “show who you are, embody what it means to be a true hero, nothing is nobler than self sacrifice” do you think aizawa heard kill bill sirens

#he said that very loud and very confidently #i hold true to the hc that midoriya is so reckless due to his horrific self worth from being quirkless #but a good chunk of it is definitely bc of all might #who through his own issues encourages his self isolation and the worth of his power and what he can do with it over midoriya himself #and then you have aizawa who has spent his entire teaching career hammering home that living is just as important as saving someone #all might nedzu and probably everyone else in the room saw that as a heroic moment #midoriya saved uraraka with an unbelievable move with no reward for himself #aizawa is the only one that sees a kid break three out of four of his limbs and plummet to the earth with no plan to save himself #if uraraka hadnt managed to hit him he wouldve at the very least shattered his other arm #he very easily couldve died #and aizawas the only one that notices #thats why he grills him during the ball throw #he says midoriya cant be a hero bc being one will lead to him killing himself if he doesnt change #bc he saw a kid that would destroy himself at every given chance to help someone else #and hes the only one that realises how wrong that is #its been a minute since ive watched this scene and damn it hits a bit different now #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #go beyond plus ultra #aizawa shouta #midoriya izuku #deku #all might #bnha #mha #save post

[brittie-frog]

So we have when the new people are joining so:

- a french, a brazilian, 2 Spanish speakers, 2 English speakers and ????

- ???? Is definitely east asian based on time zone probably korean based on the sign on the 2024 poster

- I want Tina to do another twilight shift so she's there to meet the new people and possibly help the Korean with her limited korean

- the timing is unfortunate but it was either midnight for the American or midnight for the Korean

- I want to know who they are NOW!!! I'm so impatient and I want to know which of my unsual POVs are gonna get on early so I can watch from theirs as well

#the fact thats its sunday is so bad because i might be on a train back to uni... #i might have to get up earlier or go back a day early... *into pieces* #i cant do what i did for tinas stream the other day and just walk around with it on my phone because i want multiple povs #go home for my mums birthday do two?? pieces of art on friday and go back to uni on saturday?? so sad #but still so excited #qsmp 2024 #qsmp