#i just love melancholic final level themes

[beevean]

Mega Man 5

Dr. Wily Stage

#megaman #megaman music #mm music #megaman 5 #music of the day #by far my favorite wily theme in the series #and my second favorite classic track just behind protoman's theme #it's beautiful #i just love melancholic final level themes #this one contrasts with darkman's theme which is fairly peppy

[loremastering]

~ - Mountain Sound - ~

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” - John Muir. 

- ESSENCE -

Alias: Halordin (Father name) Telphindor (Mother name) Daerhovan (Epesse and main name.) 

Other names: Heruthan (given by Mallovorel) Madhawin (by Lossenduin, shortened) 

Age: Mid 600's.

Born: T.A 2390. April 9th. 

Species: Silvan Galedhrim elf. (Quarter Sindar on his mother’s side.) 

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual. Monogamous. Demisexual, Demiromantic

Scent: Pine woods and decaying leaves. 

Vocals: Deep-ish voice with the musical lilt of the elves. Speaks loquaciously as his people do, but gradually begins to adopt quirks from other languages.

Build: Lean physique and sinewy limbs. 6′1 at the crown. Weighs at least 170 lbs. 

Occupation: Vine tender, (former) scholar of the trees (former)  nomad, wanderer, herbalist, conversationalist, biologist, zoologist, botanist.

Residence: Was both in Caras Galadhon, Lothlorien, but considers the whole world his home.

Ref sheet: X

Theme Song: Lonesome Dreams - Lord Huron.

- NATURE -

Protective - Independent - Playful - Affectionate - Nomadic -Adaptable - Inquisitive  - Patient - Genuine - Humble - Collected Circumspect - Neutral - Vindictive - Impulsive - Dense - Melodramatic

Daerhovan was always a restless soul from the day he was born it seemed. Desiring to find new lands and discover what secrets they hold. He has an almost ravenous yearning for knowledge, a trait that got him into trouble in his youth, and shaped him well into his adult years and onward. His favorite subjects are those pertaining to the natural world, but he’ll dabble in the histories of the free peoples on occasion. It can be said he never learns some things however, as Daerhovan gets rather impulsive, which has led to dangerous situations. He calls it thinking on his feet.

In social situations he can come across as aloof and even cold. With so few children to grow up alongside with and living in self isolation for centuries while he studied; conversation can be awkward with him. Getting him to talk about a subject he knows or likes can make him a little more involved and even lively. He does crave interaction at times, but doesn’t know how to go about it often. Small-talk is his bane. Jokes have a tendency to go over his head. 

While he’s happier than most of his elven peers during the years they’re still around it seems, he s subject to existential crisis’s every now and then, especially as he ages. Can be very melancholic during episodes as he thinks about the eventual fate of all temporal beings and his place in the big picture. 

He’s normally a calm sort when it comes to disagreements and can keep a level head most of the time. Hurting anyone or thing he loves or considers his own however, can incite a violence within him that can scare both the antagonist and the person who was wronged. 

- Has a long scar from his left pectoral to his navel from a maddened huorn that never fully heals. Though it becomes a white line that can be hard to distinguish in his older years. 

- A little bit neutral. But can be easily swayed by the opinions of close friends and loved ones. The only forces that are black and white to him are Sauron and the Valar. 

- Knows a vast slew of languages. Silvan, Sindarin and its dialects. Westron, and just a smidge of khuzdul.

- Will hoard things he finds interesting in chests buried throughout multiple regions of Middle Earth.

- Extremely connected to the natural world. Can mostly understand the language of beasts, and knows how to communicate with them in turn. Can sense when an environment is plagued with blight if it’s not obvious at first. Tends to feel depressed in places that have been ravaged somehow by disease or very heavy industry. The longer he stays in a place as such, the worse he begins to feel.

- Fond of wearing feathers in his hair in memory of avian friends. 

- An avid scholar, mainly of nature and history. Has written tomes on the study of living things himself. Likes to hoard books and find abandoned ruins or peaceful glades to spend days reading/studying in.  

 - COMBAT -

- Avoids conflict when he can, but will fight when the need arises.

- Uses his staff as a club when it’s useful.

- While he doesn’t claim to be a swordsman, he’s quite proficient with them thanks to training by his nephew. Often carries one and can dual wield on the battle field with both sword and staff, making him a force to be reckoned with.

- Used to be a very competent healer, but because of his much needed efforts to fight in the War of the Ring, has lost most of his ability to heal by elvish means. Can still do basic procedures, but the magic associated with elves who are true healers has gone.

- While not as in tune with the elements as he is with flora and fauna, has some influence over them. As little may be thought. Can beseech trees for help in battle to stir the earth. If purified by elvish means, can use water to more proficiently heal wounds and encourage plant growth. Senses that something could be done with fire, lightning, and air, but will need to study further on it.

Relationships:

here

Experience:

here

#bio #daerhovan #lotro oc #lotr oc #heavily HEAVILY based on lotro loremasters #finally re-doing his bio for hopefully the last time

[crabknee]

Crabs top 10 video game soundtracks

This here is a list of my top 10 favorite video game soundtracks from games I have played (for the purposes of this ranking, franchises will only have one spot on the list so I can't just fill the whole list with fire emblem)

10. Deemo

Deemo is this little obscure and niche rythm game that I have played on and off for many years now. The entire game is just a vibe, but the songs are all very awesome and there are SO MANY to pick from, it's honestly pretty surprising just how many bangers there are, taking into account the sheer amount of songs. My favorite will always be "Metal Hypnotised" even if it doesn't really match the vibe of the rest of the game.

9. Sly Cooper 2

Sly Cooper is a series from my childhood, I played this a lot back in the day so I have a lot of nostalgia for it. My favorite game in the series just so happens to be the second game which is filled with so many great tracks, ESPECIALLY the paris level. That's where all the good stuff is at, "Paris rooftops" especially is great for a nice chill theme, but I cannot deny that all the versions of the "Nightclub" track including "Nightclub", "Dimitri Battle" and "Following Dimitri" just cannot be beat.

8. Hollow Knight

Hollow knight has some great music, especially for the bosses in the game. I really like the orchestral vibe and a lot of the boss music fits the fights very well. I really like that the music for the titular Hollow Knight has a bit of a sad vibe, it's a great song and it gets even better when you learn the lore of the guy. That said, I gotta shout out my guy Grimm with his awesome battle music "The Grimm Troupe" It just goes so hard and is so extra in the best way.

7. Splatoon 2

Splatoon 2 just has some great music in general, especially octo expansion, which I have been playing a little bit on and off recently. It's all just so unique and I haven't quite heard anything like it. It really is almost just it's own genre. Always gets me pumped and is very hard not to bop to. My favorite track is probably "Fly Octo Fly" but the others like "Calamari Inkantation" and "Bomb Rush Blush" also just slap so hard.

6. Dark Souls

Every game in the Dark Souls series has great music, including Elden Ring and Bloodborne, but I have chosen the first game for my list because all of the music in that game is so iconic. The tracks are all so hauntingly beautiful and all fit the vibe of the game so well. It's all so melancholic in the best way. While "Gwyn, Lord of Cinder" always hits the feels and "Firelink Shrine" always makes me feel safe and nostalgic, I have chosen "Dark Sun Gwyndolin" not only because I love the guy, but because the theme itself is just so calm and haunting in a way I really enjoy.

5. Child of Light

A quaint little rpg with heavy fairy tale vibes, and the music heavily reflects this. It is such a beautiful soundtrack and I just can't help but love it, even if a lot of the melodies are the same. But come on! People have won figure skating competitions to these songs, you gotta love them. My favorite is definitely "Off to Sleep" that plays at the end of the game but "Final Breath", "Aurora's theme" and "Pilgrims on a long journey" all slap also, the last being the before mentioned figure skating song.

4. Fire Emblem

Now, am I cheating here by not picking a specific game? maybe. Do I care? no. Do you care? probably not, and if you do, bugger off! Anyway it had to be here, it's my favorite franchise ever and the music is great. My biggest problem is that it isn't on spotify and that I wasn't into fe when I listened to music on youtube and that's why it isn't higher. The music in all the games are hype as fuck but the highest points in the series are probably FeEchoes and Fe3h. My favorite track of all just so happens to be from echoes, that being the theme of the one and only Berkut, known as "Pride and Arrogance" It just fits him so well and it just goes so hard I cannot deny it it's spot here. "Lady of the Plains" is a classic tho and "Fodlan Winds" go hard as fuck.

3. Shantae and the Pirate's Curse

Now, all the shantae games have fantastic music, but Pirates curse is just a cut above the rest imo. The vibes are great, they're mostly upbeat and are all fantastic, especially all music from zombie island. I also have a lot of old great memories with this series which also helps quite a bit tbf. I mentioned zombie island and that's because they have three great tracks in "Rave in the Grave", "Run, Run Rottytop" and "Rottytops", while I love all, I am choosing rave in the grave here, but do feel free to listen to the others, and also just the rest of the ost, they're all bangers.

2. Katana Zero

An absolutely fantastic soundtrack to an absolutely fantastic game, the general vibe (idk what to call it, synth maybe? for most of it?) is just fantastic for this game specifically and there is just such a wide variety of emotions and vibes that this collection encompasses. My favorite however that I keep coming back to however is "Rain on Brick" the title theme, it is just so fantastically melancholic in exactly the way I need it to be, I will however also recommend you to go listen to sneaky driver, that is also a great track.

Oneshot

And it's not even close, this soundtrack is so damn good it's the only thing I listened to for, like, at least a week after I finished the game and I still listen to it regularly. The whole album for the soundtrack is my go to study music, my comfort playlist has 32 songs and 6 of them are from oneshot and I could definitly add more AND I'm pretty sure that the track called "Niko and the World Machine" is in my top 3 songs listened to of all time, that said the song I have decided to show you is the song called "Eleventh Hour" which is also very great.

#Honorable mentions go to the kirby games and the pokemon games #Also Turnip boy commits tax evasion and monster sanctuary #they're also great #Crabs rankings #<-new tag for all things ratings #stuff like top 10 lists and stuff

[yjyt85r98r]

Aikatsu song reviews: Have a Dream

Song

This song has a fantastical, nostalgic and dramatic atmosphere, perfectly befitting the visuals and lyrics.

Aikatsu Friends always had a tendency to go overboard with vocal filters/effects, but they went completely out of control with this song, which uses vocal filters on not just a few lines, but two entire verses (or more, if you're listening to the full version). I guess it fits with the idea that they're in space, transmitting a message from far away, and then singing freely and clearly once they reach Earth at the chorus. But regardless of that, I personally can't stand it.

The chorus, on the other hand, is marvellous. It's very simple, but it perfectly conveys everything about this song: joy, wonder, mystery, fantasy, and a little bit of sadness. The beginning of the chorus is very major-key, and combined with the bells in the background, it almost starts to sound like a Christmas song – but the lower, slightly melancholic "sugoi nante/jikuu koete"/etc parts help transform the atmosphere into something more dreamlike. There's a very careful balance of putting in enough pop elements to make the song fun and catchy, but not enough to destroy its unique and magical atmosphere.

I'm sorry, but I think the electric guitar interlude is ugly. It comes out of nowhere and completely changes the atmosphere for no reason. Its jarring randomness is only rivalled by Liella's "Wish Song". Also, it has an oddly smooth and wiggly sound that doesn't seem right for electric guitars. Take some of the distortion from the vocals and give it to the guitar instead, please.

I usually love calmer breakdown sections of songs, so it's a testament to how good this song's arrangement is that I always look forward to the drums and bells coming back for the last chorus. I also usually like irregular rhythms, so again, it's a testament to good arrangement that I usually feel slightly disappointed by the change in rhythm and wish that it was the dance beat from the first chorus again. But the change in beat gives a very 'finale'-like sound to that last chorus, and I think it was the right choice.

Vocals

I think the vocals of this song do their part: they carry the lyrics, and provide something other than the instrumentals. No more, no less. I suppose there are a few parts that could be considered slightly good or bad. Of course, I have to mention the part where they take turns singing syllables – doing that requires a high level of synchronicity and trust, and helps to highlight how well they get along as sisters. And there are some moments where their soft voices create a really chilling effect, especially when they sing together.

Lyrics

This song has some of the best (if not the very best) lyrics in all of Aikatsu Friends. They tell a story while providing vivid visuals, and the rhymes and moon puns just take it to the next level.

Choreography

Some people were saying that the ballet-inspired moves were not executed very well. And yes, the dance is definitely does not reflect that the characters are supposed to be good at ballet. But it probably looks fine to anyone who isn't a dance nerd.

Visuals

The stage design, like the song, is so mysterious and nostalgic. It brings back countless vague, unnameable memories for me.

The outfits are really special, and everyone was commenting on them when they first were revealed. I mean, I'm not sure that ram horns and hooves really fit the theme of a Princess Kaguya-inspired fairy tale, but they do give a very strong 'fantasy' feeling.

Good points: Magical yet catchy music, really good lyrics, and the bells!! Bad points: I think the things I consider bad are the things that other people like...

Rating: 8.5/10 Personal rating: If I consider the whole song and not just the parts I like then it's probably only 6.7/10, but it pains me to say that.

#aikatsu song reviews #have a dream

[septembersghost]

I want thank you so much for introducing me to Taylor Swift! I didn't use to listen to her songs before (dunno why, sometimes I want to check smth out and then I forget), but you talking about her music so passionately moved me. I've just listened to Midnights and it completely blew me away. Bejeweled feels so empowering, bright and asserive, I straight up cried during Snow On the Beach, because it sounds so delicate and hopeful, a bit melancholic but filled with love and tenderness, like a beacon of light gleaming amidst the darkness. But I think Labyrinth is my favorite track on the album, it's just... All the thoughts I've had, the fears I have, and hearing her speak about this kind of place you find yourself in felt so validating to me. "I'm falling in love, oh no, I'm falling in love again", "You know how scared I am of elevators, never trust it if it rises fast, it can't last" - this line, it gripped me and broke me. The idea that grief, like you said, is a continuous experience, and trauma is something you'll be getting over for years and years, and even if you finally heal and grow as a person, it can still impact your life and happiness, in a way that you can't really trust anything again. If something you loved deceived you, hurt you, shot you in the heart in the past, how can you be sure it won't happen again? How can you open up and love something, someone without being swayed by fear of what happened the last time you loved with this intensity? It's almost like opening your old wounds in a way. Tracing them with a knife. If you're detached, if you're shielding yourself, it can never hurt you as much. But love leaves you vulnerable. Love leaves you open and defenseless. It's like handing somebody a gun and saying: "Here, I trust you." But what if you shouldn't? Then there's also "I thought the plane was goin' down, how'd you turn it right around?" For me it's like: "I've been hurt before and betrayed before, I was wounded and grew a thicker skin, I made myself distant, thinking I could never love anyone this much again, but now you are making me feel things, you're bringing those vibrant colors back into my life and I'm so surprised and startled. I'm falling for you and I'm so afraid to fall for you. Please don't hurt me." I apologize if I'm reading this wrong and projecting my own issues a little too much, and I admit I don't know much at all about Taylor's personal life, so my interpretation is probably entirely false. Still, this song speaks to me on a fundemental level and I find myself here too, I can relate and I really love the way she writes her music. Please never stop talking about the things you love, your passion is so igniting and your blog is truly a beautiful place!!! What are your favorite tracks from Midnights?

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, INTRODUCING PEOPLE TO TAYLOR AND KNOWING THEY THEN LOVE HER TOO IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD! I READ THIS LIKE:

this message makes me so so soft oh my goodness. thank you for sharing this with me, and for reading all my gushing, emotional, silly little posts because it brings me unending joy to discuss music, especially hers, and the depth of love i have for it.

the fact that you enjoyed midnights fills my heart!!! your descriptions are totally beautiful and fit exactly the themes and emotions she's depicting.

I straight up cried during Snow On the Beach, because it sounds so delicate and hopeful, a bit melancholic but filled with love and tenderness, like a beacon of light gleaming amidst the darkness. like this, that is precisely the story she's telling, i cried hearing it too because the wonder and tenderness of it is so tangible.

i am obsessed with your explanation of labyrinth and the fact that it was your favorite - in the video analysis i watched yesterday, the professor discussing the album said it's his favorite song she's ever written and that it (along with a couple of other moments on the album) brought him to tears with how affecting and accessible and vulnerable it is. it's really cool to hear this from you too. her vocals in the song are incredibly beautiful to me, and the way she expresses her fears, and the swirling anxiety of it, and the almost miraculous amazement of realizing that you're finally held and safe. i love the simplicity of the progression from, "uh-oh, i'm falling in love again, oh no, i'm falling in love again" to the simply breath of, "oh. i'm falling in love again." it says so much in so little.

The idea that grief, like you said, is a continuous experience, and trauma is something you'll be getting over for years and years, and even if you finally heal and grow as a person, it can still impact your life and happiness, in a way that you can't really trust anything again. If something you loved deceived you, hurt you, shot you in the heart in the past, how can you be sure it won't happen again? How can you open up and love something, someone without being swayed by fear of what happened the last time you loved with this intensity? It's almost like opening your old wounds in a way. Tracing them with a knife. If you're detached, if you're shielding yourself, it can never hurt you as much. But love leaves you vulnerable. Love leaves you open and defenseless. It's like handing somebody a gun and saying: "Here, I trust you." But what if you shouldn't? Then there's also "I thought the plane was goin' down, how'd you turn it right around?" For me it's like: "I've been hurt before and betrayed before, I was wounded and grew a thicker skin, I made myself distant, thinking I could never love anyone this much again, but now you are making me feel things, you're bringing those vibrant colors back into my life and I'm so surprised and startled. I'm falling for you and I'm so afraid to fall for you. Please don't hurt me."

i'm just quoting your entire wonderful description because you could not be more right. i'm serious, you're spot-on, this is what she's describing, this is the experience the song is about and i'm touched that it spoke to you like this with such clarity. it underscores not only the impact of her writing and how empathetic it is, but how empathetic and perceptive you are too, and it is a gift to read this. it proves to me how powerfully universal her music is, and that's one of the reasons she's been special to people and been successful for so long. i'm not even articulating myself well here because i'm teary over how this resonated for you. 💗💗💗

I can relate and I really love the way she writes her music. forever mood.

my favorite tracks are...tentatively because the entire album keeps growing and transforming for me the more i listen to it!...snow on the beach, sweet nothing, lavender haze, labyrinth, and you're on your own, kid (or mastermind, they keep competing for me). that's from the standard 13, if we include the extra seven 3AM tracks, it gets even trickier for me to decide! (i truly believe would've, could've, should've and bigger than the whole sky are two of the most profoundly impacting songs she's ever written, i also can barely listen to them despite how lovely they are because they HURT). plus the great war is fantastic and opens up a lot of things, it was brave of her to put quite a lot this forth in such a raw way.

do you want a guide for more of her music to listen to? because i am always thrilled to provide one!!! 😄💖

Please never stop talking about the things you love, your passion is so igniting and your blog is truly a beautiful place!!! 🥺🥰 this is the sweetest and highest compliment, and i'm grateful for it, words like these are always encouraging and stay with me. thank you for sharing your light with me too.

#I LOVE YOU #snowstormserenade #letterbox #this message is so so beautiful you have no idea #taylor swift #people are too nice to me #my heart

[thedavinoparadox]

🏖 August Reading Wrap-Up (Part 2) 📚

Selenio, 14th September 2023

As announced, here now the second part of everything I read in August…

Terra di Sicilia by Mario Giordano (2022)

The generational drama surrounding Barnaba Carbonaro, a boy from Sicily whose affinity with numbers helps him grow an empire and eventually bring his family to Germany, his place of longing. I have to admit, I mainly bought this book because of it’s beautiful cover and after having read the blurb (after the purchase, mind you) regretted it ever since. After finishing school in Germany I did not want to be reminded of this rather depressing country where I had lived for the majority of my school career (at least for the summer following my A-levels). This summer, I finally decided to overcome this negative first impression and now regret having not decided to do so earlier. Giordano’s writing style and pacing is absolutely superb, the emotions he depicts are realistic, heartfelt and not a single line or scene in this book feels out of place. From the ancestral Sicilian superstitions to the rigid German customs, the sprinkled in historical facts and emotional conversations: everything seems like a carefully woven net, which captures the reader from the first line. I also adored the recurring theme of nymphs and faunlets.

Love, crazy love by Zara Kavka (2016)

After failing her A-levels, Clara visits her father at his place of work – a clinic for the mentally unstable – and falls head over heels for a boy, who’s being treated there. Wanting to be near him (and not be shunned as ‘the doctor’s daughter’), she fakes an eating disorder and lies her way into treatment. I will not say a lot about this book, as it is my first DNF of the year and perhaps I will revisit it in the future and give a more well-rounded opinion. My sister was gifted this book by a probably well-meaning, but ultimately wrong-doing friend. I could not even reach the 100 page mark without having to put it down and have not picked it up since (which I’m certainly not planning to do). The protagonist is just a complete and utter annoyance who has no perception of taste, empathy and consideration.

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (2019)

What if the son of the American president and the Prince of England have to pretend to be best friends and slowly start to discover deeper feelings in the process? I certainly did not see myself reading a fluffy ‘enemies to lovers’/alternate universe romance this summer, but I’m also certainly not mad about it. After returning from Italy I was freezing, melancholic and longing for the warmth I had felt when looking at the ocean. So as I was sitting there, cuddled up in a bunch of blankets in front of the tv, I stumbled across the movie, which seemed to have come out while I had been on vacation. And to be frank, it was just what I needed to pick me out of my slump. Some of the scenes, quotes and just overall feel of the movie were magnificent and as you will, the next day I had already ordered the book. Which… was equally as comforting and cozy. Although some of the descriptions of the more technical political parts were not completely up my alley – as my knowledge of American politics is a little limited – I stayed for the amazingly fleshed out characters and their dynamics and humorous conversations. And I will unashamedly admit: I devoured every single page.

The Magic of Reading by Annemarie Stoltenberg (2021)

An anthology of different writers’ relationships with books and reading in general. My grandmother was so kind to gift me this delightful little book for my last birthday and at the end of last month, I finally felt in the perfect mood to indulge myself in it. Naturally, as is the case with most anthologies, some texts stuck more with me than others, but overall it was just the thing to give me reading energy for the upcoming September and my time at university. Some of the revelations I had while reading were: I have to read Proust, I will probably not start reading Tucholsky before I turn 50 and I probably am the male embodiment of Madame Bovary.

The Conspirators by Ursula Poznanski (2013)

The second book of the dystopian ‘Eleria’-trilogy by Ursula Poznanski. After finishing the second installment of this very intriguing sci-fi series, I have realized how much I missed reading science fiction (and especially dystopian) fiction. The author has managed to once again pull me into a new genre and I will definitely explore this new found love in the following months. As per usual: wonderful narrator, believable characters and great pacing.

I would entitle this August as one of my more successful reading months thus far and hope, that I will be able to retain this energy for the last months of the year to come. I am excited for anything September might hold in store for me and can’t wait to see what next month’s Reading Wrap-Up will look like. (Probably filled to the brim with university text books, or so I hope.)

#book #books #reading #bibliophile #dark academia #light academia #academia #literature #german #english #what i read in august #august reading wrap up #reading wrap up #terra di sicilia #mario giordano #book reviews #book review #love crazy love #zara kavka #red white and royal blue #rwrb #casey mcquinston #the magic of reading #annemarie stoltenberg #the conspirators #ursula poznanski #august #casey mcquiston

[norahastuff]

penny for your thoughts on salmondean codependency ?

Sure. Fair warning it’s long (was longer but I stopped myself.)

I think it’s complicated in a show that’s had so many different showrunners because they’ve all handled Sam and Dean’s relationship very differently. In Kripke’s era (s1-5) there was a romanticization of the bond. Sure there was a lot of in-depth exploration of how they wound up at the place they were at, spoiler alert: it was all because of John and his obsessive crusade to find the demon that killed his wife. That’s all he cared about and as a result, Sam and Dean had to be everything to each other. But Kripke had no intention of dismantling that at any point because he was (and always had been) writing a tragedy. Gamble continued that too. There was no room for anyone else in their lives and it would always just be the two of them against the world. So Cas had to go. Bobby had to go.

(Actually, it's funny because Gamble didn't intend this at the time, her plan was to kill Cas off, but by Edlund creating the masterpiece that is The Man Who Would Be King, he not only saved Cas from being seen as a villain, but he also deepened Dean and Cas' relationship in such a profound way and inextricably linked the two of them emotionally. And since Cas was eventually brought back, that laid the foundation for a lot of what their relationship would become.)

Up until this point, there hadn’t really been any significant dismantling of perhaps the more unhealthy parts of Sam and Dean’s relationship. Enter Carver. He stripped things down and started to explore what drove these characters. What they wanted and why they couldn’t have it. It starts with Dean being mad at Sam for not looking for him in purgatory, which sets up the whole speech in the s8 finale of Sam’s guilt about letting Dean down, but the thing is, Dean was never honest with Sam about his year away either. He never told Sam he could have gotten out much sooner if he hadn’t stayed to find Cas. I mean Dean had assumed Sam was up there alone doing God knows what to try to bring him back, and yet still he stayed in Purgatory because things were clear there. He needed Cas. Anyway, I just find that interesting, but Cas isn’t a victim of Sam and Dean’s relationship in s8.

Who gets the honour of being cast aside? That would be Benny and Amelia, two characters they introduced in s8 specifically to highlight that Sam and Dean’s relationship doesn’t allow for anyone else to be a significant part of their life. I mean that’s nothing new, we’ve watched that happen many times before. Lisa even said as much to Dean. The thing is this time? It’s framed as a truly sad thing. That moment at the end of 8x10 when Dean has just ended things with Benny and Sam leaves Amelia, and they’re sitting alone drinking beer and watching tv is such a hollow empty moment. This is not what they want. But it’s the way things have to be.

I’m actually fascinated by Sam and Dean’s conversation in the church in the s8 finale. Not so much Dean’s assertion that there is no one else he would put before Sam, but more so what provokes it, which is Sam saying “who are you going to turn to instead of me. Another angel? Another vampire?” See the thing is Dean saying he would always put Sam first is not news. We know this and it’s not really an unhealthy statement in itself either. A lot of people would put their sibling above anything else, not less a sibling who you raised and is the most important person to you. But in this context? After what Sam said? It just highlights how unhealthy they are if Sam believes that Dean having other people in his life means he doesn’t love him enough. That he’s a disappointment to him. That’s so profoundly fucked up.

(Note, Dean tells Sam that he killed Benny for him but he doesn’t say anything about Cas. I think like I said before, this is because Cas and Dean’s relationship has largely existed out of the Sam and Dean stuff up to this point - Sam and Cas don’t even really have much of a relationship yet besides both of their connections to Dean.)

And then from here, things start getting steadily worse. But we also keep being shown how bad they are. Dean lying to Sam, taking away his free will by letting Gadreel possess him. Dean sending Cas away, Kevin dying. It’s all awful. The whole “there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you line” from 9x01 isn’t really said by Dean, it’s Gadreel, but that is how Dean feels. He does think that’s all he’s good for. And over the season we’re shown how much of himself and what he truly wants he’s had to give up because of his ingrained “Save Sammy” and “Sammy comes first” mentality. It’s always been this way for him. In 9x07 we see that he had found a happy home, a good father figure, and his first love, a first love might I add that he had to leave behind with no real explanation because Sam needed him, and Sam comes first.

I mean just one episode earlier we had him rushing out the door elated about seeing Cas and spending time with him, only for their time together to come to sad and melancholic end when Dean once again leaves Cas behind without any real explanation, because despite what he wants Sammy comes first. What he wants doesn’t matter.

See I think after the Gadreel stuff comes out is where the narrative starts to get a little wonky for me. You can clearly see that this was intended to be a shorter story that they ended up stretching out to a much longer one because of renewals. There’s also the fact that this is a formula show so they can’t necessarily be separated for longer than an episode or two. S10 is a rough one to get through at times, I think the themes still mostly hold up but it’s a rough one to get through.

S10 highlights all the connections that Dean has, Cas, Charlie, Crowley even, but Sam doesn’t really have those bonds in the same way.  For Sam it’s just Dean, so he goes down a reckless destructive “do anything to save Dean!” path and so many innocents pay the price, and ultimately with the release of The Darkness, the whole world.

They skirted right up to the edge of exploring just how toxic and dangerous their relationship had become in the season 10 finale.

DEAN: I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A..a good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world.

I can’t say evil is the right word, they were never evil, but they were wilfully blind to everything and everyone else when it came to saving each other. S10 tested my love for the show because after watching it, because there was certainly a feeling that the two of them had become the villains of this story. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a problem with that, it’s just after 2 seasons of this I can’t say I had a lot of faith that this was going to be properly addressed or if we were going to keep going in circles around it. Keep being shown, it’s bad and then nothing much being done to fix it. Your mileage may vary on how it was handled, but I think s11 did a relatively ok job considering it wasn’t the end of the story, and the show needed to keep going.

See from Dean’s side a lot of the codependency rests on 1. His father’s orders to always save Sammy 2. His low self-esteem where he sees himself as nothing but a blunt instrument. 3. His guilt at not being able to perfectly fulfil every familial role in Sam’s life 4. His belief that no one could choose to love him but family has to love you. 5. The unhealthy example of what it should look like to love someone that he got from John. You give up everything but them.

For Sam (and honestly it’s not as clear for me as Dean’s side is so feel free to correct me/disagree on this) 1. Everytime he’s tried to leave and create his own life it’s never ended well. 2. His guilt over wanting freedom and a normal life when he was younger (I’m referring specifically to Stanford era here) 3. His guilt over everything Dean has given up for him. 4. John. 5. Jess.

Ultimately it all comes down to isolation. They both had to be everything to each other, and the deeper they got into this fight, the more people that they lost, the tighter they clung to this notion of family and brothers. I think s11 (and 11x23 in particular) was an important turning point, both for Sam and Dean’s relationship, as well as for them as individuals. Because they weren’t alone there anymore. Cas was there. Sam let Dean walk to his death. Of course, it would devastate him, but he knew it was what had to be done. And he didn’t walk out of that bar and go back to the bunker alone. He had Cas, he had someone who cared about him and wanted to help him and talk to him. Sure Dean asked Cas to take care of Sam for him (you know after Cas offered to walk to his death with him) but Sam let him. He let him be there for him. We didn’t get to see much before the BMOL showed up and blasted Cas away, but still, we saw enough.

I think that’s a significant difference to note why their relationship was different in the Dabb era. It wasn’t just them anymore. Cas was an important member of their family and given a level of importance he’d never been given before and couldn’t have been when the story they were telling was of the dangers of their codependency. Mary was back. Eventually, Jack would become a part of their unit too. Just the two of them wasn’t enough for them anymore. This is made abundantly clear with all of Dean’s desperate attempts to get Cas to stay in s12, followed by his inability to keep going when they lose Cas and Mary in s13. Similarly, Sam really struggles when they lose Jack and fail to get Mary back later in the season.

Another big moment is Dean letting Sam go alone to lead the hunters against the BMOL in 12x22 while he stays back to try and reach Mary. Like he tells Mary, he’s had to be a brother, a father and a mother to Sam and he never stopped seeing him as his kid, but in that moment he makes a choice. He lets Sam take charge and he shows that he trusts him and believes in him. He knows he can handle it.

Sometimes it’s not even a character growth thing. Sometimes having other people there stops you from making destructive choices even though that’s still your first instinct. I’m thinking specifically of 13x21 after Sam was killed. Dean would have run headlong into that nest of vampires and got himself torn apart, but Cas was there to stop him. He was able to make him see reason.

Basically, I think that for a long time, they thought the only relationship they could have was each other, which then became a self-fulfilling prophecy because their desperate attempts to keep each other around led to them losing the people around them. They eventually started to learn that that wasn’t true, they could have more, they were allowed to want more, and that it wasn’t an either-or situation. Dean didn’t have to choose between Sam and Cas. They didn’t have to choose between each other or Jack. The same goes for Mary. Different relationships can coexist without threatening each other, and not say that their relationship in s12-15 was all smooth sailing, but it was certainly so very different from everything that came before.

(There’s maybe a point to be made about how they didn’t have anyone or anything in the finale and how that relates to the story we got, but honestly I have no idea what the intention was with any of the choices made in that episode so I’ll leave it at that for now.)

#asks #winchester brothers #my spn thoughts #long post for ts #Anonymous #spn meta

[anime-grimmy-art]

Told you guys I’d ramble in due time.

I absolutely adore Bravely Default 2. It came at a really bad time cos I can’t waste 70 hours on a jrpg, but well, it’s too late to be concerned about that now. And as is tradition with me obsessing over a new game / show / whatever, you’ll basically find a fullblown review disguised as ramblings right under the cut. Be aware that I’m gonna talk about EVERYTHING, so spoilers are a given. Some maybe even for the previous Bravely Default games.

Also, if you wanna talk about this game in any capacity, hit me up, I’m DESPERATE to talk more about it.

Just for reference on how long this is gonna be, I made a voice recording while driving to remember all the points I wanna make, and that recording is almost 2 hours long. I did cut it down but still, this is gonna be a lot.

I’ll start off with the things that actually bugged me about the game, since there are only 3 things that really bothered me. First of, I really don’t like that you can name Seth. He has too much personality to be a self insert and player integration is not that big of a part in the game that this decision can be justified. It wouldn’t bother me that much if it didn’t leave a bad mark on the ending. First of all, we were robbed of Gloria desperately shouting for Seth, which makes the impact work less, and it’s just so prevalent that the name can’t be said because you have all the normal sound design going. If they’d just let the credits still play I wouldn’t have batted an eye, but because every other sound comes in it’s so obvious they’re just silently shouting in this scene, which makes it look silly. Like I said, this decision is more a detriment than an addition, and it’s a shame it casts a shadow on an otherwise heartfelt ending.

Speaking about lost potential, the other thing that really bothers me is the lost potential in certain plot points and character conclusions. I mainly mean Adam and Edna here. Both of them have been built up to be these formidable foes but they just, die. If it was just Adam I’d be fine with it, since you expect Edna to backstab him and be the actual big bad of the story, but I cannot fathom why they dropped Edna this HARD. If not Edna herself, I don’t understand why we don’t get more of a reaction from the Fairies and especially Adelle. I mean, Edna was her sole reason she left for her journey in the first place, then Edna dies and that’s it? No part where she grieves for a second? No concern from the others about Adelle? Mind you, I haven’t finished all the Sidequests, so maybe there actually is one in which this is addressed, but I think even just a Party Chat after Bad End 1 would have been sufficient to show how Adelle suddenly feels about the loss of Edna. It would have made Bad End 2 / The Secret Ending even more impactful, because, yeah, of course, you kinda know Adelle isn’t going to turn her back on fairy kind, but one of the reasons she doesn’t leave is because if Enda didn’t get a happy ending, then she shouldn’t either. It would have been amazing foreshadowing if she showed this sentiment before this scene happened. Other than that, it’s a shame that we know so little about Edna, or rather, how she became “bad”. I get she’s supposed to be corrupted by the Night’s Nexus, but how did it even come to this? It can’t have been a gradual thing, after all, Adelle says Edna was always good natured and then just disappeared one day. Really would have loved seeing more of that plot point.

Ok, last gripe I have, some choices in the soundtrack and sound design. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the OST, and I will get to that, but damn, whatever Revo used for the lead instrument in Wiswald hurts my ears. It’s a really good track, but I always have to turn down my volume because these high pitched sounds physically hurt. And for sound design. Dude, the Night’s Nexus is the least threatening, nightmare fueled abomination that ever existed. I get that its growl is kinda supposed to be layered with Edna’s or sth, but it, it just sounds silly. If they went the route of just swinging between different voices or began distorting it from phase to phase, it would have been fine. But the choice they made really made an otherwise creepy design just absolutely silly.

Ok, enough jammering, on to the good stuff. Like I said, there’s going to be a lot, so I’ll try to be brief in each aspect.

Gameplay

I honestly like the new battle mechanics more than the old ones. This individual, turn based system feels way more dynamic and it’s easier to strategies in battles. Because nothing made me more angry than setting up for a heal and the enemy suddenly being faster than me and killing my healer. Now it’s easier to plan ahead a bit.

I also found myself experimenting more with the jobs. Not sure what it really is, but none of the party members leaning more towards certain types of jobs and the job leveling being way faster probably helped.

And I know some people get up in arms because the boss sometimes can be a real pain in the ass (looking at you pope dude), I still found it very interesting getting around counters or even using these counters as a benefit. As an example, I made Adelle my main physical fighter and gave her lots of counter abilities to help her profit from being countered by enemies themselves. Now, she can attack enemies, get countered, automatically evade that counter and earn a BP at the same time. Made a lot of boss fights way easier and fun to exploit.

Music

Ok, I will try my best to be really, really brief, because in my recording this part takes up almost 40 minutes. Anyways, Revo might have just become one of my absolute favorite composers ever. I don’t know what kind of magic he used, but I initially wasn’t that impressed with the OST, but every time I listened to it, I just fell in love harder and harder. Before getting into specifics, I wanna highlight the two things that made me love this OST overall. First of all, this soundtrack almost seems like a refinement of BD’s. While losing some of that fairytale vibe, it sounds even more fantasy now. And in contrast to the original, this almost sounds more balanced? Like, BD’s OST felt high energy throughout, BD2’s on the other hand manages to find a good balance between high and low energy pieces. Like, the character themes or battle themes are absolute hype, but the overworld themes are a lot calmer and easier to listen to while exploring. Second big point that makes this soundtrack amazing is that Revo is an absolute god at using emotional progression/storytelling and leitmotifs in his songs. And heck, do I love myself my leitmotifs. You’ve got some obvious ones, like the final battle theme in which all the character themes and other leitmotifs are integrated. Then you got some maybe more subtle once, just like how the overworld themes are just the main theme, just a lot calmer and using the lead instruments of the towns of the areas.

But my absolute favourites gotta be the character themes and the main theme. I love how fitting the themes for the characters are and in general, each of them is such a bop. At first I prefered Elvis’, because I sure am a sucker for jazzy vibes, but over time Adelle’s became my fav. It’s just something about the trumpets, and how the theme almost sounds a bit melancholic and bittersweet, that drew me in. And considering her story, mostly her bad end, that the bittersweet tone really fits.

Then there’s the main theme. Just like BD’s it shouts “triumphant anthem” and it definitely gives you a very familiar vibe, but I’d argue it has even better emotional progression. Heck, the first time I heard the music start up in the reveal trailer, I didn’t have to look at the screen to know this is gonna be a BD game. Also, the credit song version had me weeping at the true end. I’m someone who’s very easily affected by music (if me shouting about soundtracks on this blog wasn’t proof enough) and just hearing that ending song, getting the after credits scene, just for the second credits to start as a freaking duet. Dude, at that point I just started sobbing, I’m not gonna lie. Just this little part showed how much Revo knows how to put emotion in a song and also write it in such a way that he can elicit strong, emotional reactions from you too. 

Story

People have been complaining how the story is too boring and kinda disappointing in comparison to the last one, but I just think the games tried to accomplish different things here. Since the BD series is a celebration of old, classic jrpgs, “cliche” storytelling is a given. Though, BD did throw a lot of meta stuff in there too. BD2 in contrast just feels like a direct execution of that initial idea. It feels familiar, it feels comfy and it feels safe. Except for the little things with the endings and then overwriting the Nexus’ “save file”, BD2 doesn’t really get that meta, which is totally fine. It doesn’t try to reinvent or innovate anything, it just wants to be a fantasy story, that might be cliche, but still fun and enjoyable in its own right.

I’d also argue that the pacing is a lot better than the old game, because with BD I sometimes found myself skipping through scenes to get on with the story. Not that this game didn’t have me rushing through stuff as well, but I found it kept my intrigue way better than the original.

Characters

Next to the music, this is the part that I absolutely love the most. While, yes, they did lose a lot of potential with some characters, mostly with the villains, the main cast is just so much fun. I love these 4 dorks so, so much.

I honestly can’t stand how much people compare them to the original cast. Yes, ofc, I’ve been doing my fair share of comparisons too, but calling these four a more boring version of BD’s party physically hurts me. Because except for some initial impressions, the Heroes of Light are completely different from our beloved Warriors of Light.

While yes, Seth and Gloria give off strong Tiz and Agnes vibes at first, they both grow into such different characters that they’re not really comparable. I think this shows with Adelle and Elvis even more. I do understand how people could compare Adelle and Edea, since they’re both the feisty girl type, but I can’t understand how people can see Ringabel and Elvis as the same character type. While those two are the “suave” party members, they act so differently from another. And that’s honestly apparent the first time you meet them. 

Anyways, I love these 4 so much.

We technically don’t know a lot about Seth at all, but they manage to pull so much out of just the fact that he’s a sailor, that it makes him really endearing, really fast.

I was kinda disinterested with Gloria at first, because again, the initial impression was Agnés2.0, but she grew on me a lot. Gloria is way more hard headed and honestly sassy in comparison to Agnés and I absolutely adore it.

Elvis. Elvis, my man. I love this fantasy scottosh wizard so, so much. He’s such a ridiculous character but so endearing at the same time. You got all this dorkiness, with him setting himself on fire as a student, him doing god knows what for a good drink or just laughing danger and prejudice in the face. But then you got his super empathetic and caring side. Mind you, most of his wise moments come from quoting Lady Emma, but still, as much as he’s hopeless with certain social situations, he’s actually still really good at reading the room and playing things smart. He’s a smart and powerful idiot, which makes him a danger to everyone and himself, and I love him for it. (I also can’t believe they called him Lesley I MEAN COME ON)

And then there’s Adelle. I liked her from the start, but I didn’t think she would stick out to me. I think now she’s my favourite character. Not even talking about all the stuff that happens in chapter 3 and onward, because these story threads are awesome in their own right, but there’s just something about her personality that’s interesting and appealing to me. Like I said, I’m not surprised people compare her to Edea, I did too at first, but while Edea walks very close to the line of a Tsundere, I was really surprised that Adelle is, well, not a Tsundere at all. Yeah, of course she’s putting Elvis down a lot, but that stems more from her preventing his ego from going to his head than her being all embarrassed. No, Adelle is actually really well adjusted when it comes to communication. While it’s hilarious that she and Elvis met with her chucking her shoes at him, the two just got along well right from the start. Adelle in general has this really open and helpful personality, but also doesn’t shy away from putting her foot down, even if that sometimes comes out as an embarrassed sputter. She’s also the mother hen of the group. She looks out for the other three and gets concerned about them real fast. 

I dunno, Adelle just really grew on me over the course of this game, and then her kinda being paired with Elvis too, as partners and as partners, makes me like her even more. Because as much as I like their personalities individually, I like their character dynamic even more. I honestly love the relationships between all four of them a lot. You really feel them grow closer as friends and all the little character sidequests just always made me really happy.

Conclusion

You might not believe me, but I really held back there. This could probably have been 3 times its length. As much as I love this game, it’s of course not perfect. It struggles and flails in some parts a lot and it certainly has some aspects that might turn people off. But for me, it was just a very familiar and comfy game that didn’t necessarily deliver anything new, but that told its story in such a way that it still got me excited to keep going. The soundtrack is absolutely amazing and the conclusion of the story actually got me to cry. While not groundbreaking, this game is highly enjoyable and leaves you absolutely satisfied at the end.

Also, I would like to iterate that I am desperate to get more content about this game, so if you wanna chat about it, hit me up.

Anyways, anyone else felt like having a fever dream when everybody in chapter 2 started talking fantasy scottish? Cos I sure did.

#bravely default #bravely default 2 #bd #bd2 #fanart #review #ramblings #seth #gloria #adelle #elvis #elvis lesley

[sukirichi]

Museum Dates with Porco

Modern AU  — Art Museum ver!

(had to make this headcanon because I had a fic idea for him and it included him going on a museum date with the reader :D)

To be honest, he’s not really into art that much, but after finding out you liked paintings and seeing the stories and meanings behind it, it was his idea to get you two tickets.

He’d be SOOO shy like I hc Porco is a cocky ass, but he’d definitely be mushy around his SO (especially when they’re at that stage of not confessing yet)

He’d try his best to look good that day, slicked back hair and wearing your favourite perfume

Ofc he’s going to bring flowers for you

The smile on your face as you light up, bringing the flowers up to your nose to smell it, oh it’s going to make him WEAK in the knees

He’d be a little surprised that even though you both are polar opposites, the sense of style is the same. You’re both dressed very casually and comfortably but still stylish that expresses yourselves

Let’s be real here, he doesn’t really understand the whole jazz behind paintings

He thinks they look good and knows it takes a lot of talent and effort to do one, but he’s just not that into it

Seeing you admiring them though?

That’s a different story

The way you’d just stop and stare at the paintings, a small smile on your face, an unreadable look in your eyes

He’d fall for you even harder

He couldn’t even believe that you actually agreed to go out with him that day, since he was never good at expressing himself and worried that maybe he hadn’t properly gotten his feelings across

But you’re there with him, and suddenly he doesn’t have any complaints about how “boring” looking at the paintings were because it’s never boring when it’s with you

Cliche but,,,he’d only have eyes for you the whole time, he’d glance maybe once or twice at the artwork but that’s it lol

When you explain something to him about the painting, he’d be humming and nodding in agreement, but really he’s too focused on the way your lips move or how you’d clasp your hands in excitement while telling him all about it

He can’t believe how precious you are – and he finds it even more admirable that you’re able to connect with art pieces in a deeper, different level

HE WANTS TO HOLD YOUR HAND SO BAD

But you keep running away or dashing to a piece that you’d been dying to see

He’d stretch his hand out to reach you but you’d move before he can do anything, so he’ll play it cool by pretending to brush his hair or something

When you go, “What’s wrong?” after seeing his flushed face, he’d be like

“Oh, nothing. You were saying?”

You’d shrug it off and just light up all over again, but cmon, HAVE MERCY FOR THIS PRECIOUS BOY

You guys reach the department or hall with more solemn artefacts (maybe something about the war or just gruesome or melancholic messages) and he’s astounded by how you pay respect to those dark times

Porco would inch closer to you, finally getting the courage to place a hand on your shoulder and rub it gently

Finally, he sees something he’s familiar about

Shyly, he tells you about what he knows about that painting, and when you turn to him looking like he just handed you the stars, this man would BLUSHHH

Overall, going to an art museum date with Porco would be very romantic and sweet!

Even though he has a tendency to be an ass to everyone, he’s really gentle and respectful with you. I mean, he finds all these boring, but he legit spent two hours in art museum with you listening to you rant about everything

It’s going to be difficult for him to listen to every word since he’s more distracted with your presence and enthusiasm, but that slight pinch in his brow lets you know he’s trying his best

Of course he also wants to impress you, so he did a little research beforehand (he gave up trying to know a LOT about the themes after 15 minutes, it’s just not his thing lol) but you’re surprised he knows a thing or two about the historical backgrounds of some things

After that, Porco buys you an umbrella with a painting you liked as its design from the museum’s shop

He’s not always good with his words, so please appreciate everything this man does for you, he’s really trying his best

He knows he can be crude sometimes – most of the time – so he tends to hold himself back when it comes to being verbally affectionate

Instead, he’ll show it through touches and spending time with you, investing in your hobbies and always being a good listener

But he also doesn’t miss the opportunity to tease you when you turn into a blabbering mess when you get excited over a certain piece. He can’t help himself, he’ll just lean forward and pinch your cheeks because you’re so darn cute like that

Once you’ve gotten closer and established a more official relationship, you can bet this man will SPOIL you

An art gallery out of town? He got you tickets.

An art exhibit by a foreign artist you support? He’s busy with his thesis but he’ll still make the time to drive you there or pick you up afterwards, never forgetting to provide you your daily dose of kisses

The next art museum date you guys have, he’s not that shy anymore

He’ll hold your hand, rub his calloused thumbs against the pad of your palms, and sniffing your hair because your shampoo smells so good

He’s TOUCHY for sure, but never to the point PDA becomes uncomfortable for others

But he’s really going to want you close to him all the time

Porco likes to party, but he’s actually not into too much noise or clamour, especially when he’s with you

You’re like the sweet breath of fresh air in his life and he wants to treasure everything with you. The next museum dates with him would include lots of hand holding, and him telling YOU about something you told him regarding that piece

And when you beam up at him, surprised that he remembered, it makes his chest swell with pride

If he’s not holding your hand, he’s got an arm wrapped around your waist

But if you’re eager to see something, you’d drag him inside a room and he’d just laugh while you light up like a little kid

IDK WHY but for some reason I can see you guys sharing scarves because most museums are really cold, and this gives him more of an excuse to be closer to you

I can really see this scene very well, where you guys are just staring at this piece you both like (you like it for art and philosophical reasons, but Porco will like it more because of sentimental reasons that involves you) and you place your head on his shoulder, his breath softly tickling your skin

The tranquillity of that moment and just being with your SO really calms you both down

He couldn’t be any more thankful in that moment, he’s extremely glad he met you

Then, as you’re too busy admiring the artwork, you’d feel Porco’s gaze on you, his eyes are literally SHINING with love and appreciation for you

PORCO BEST BOI

please comment/like/reblog  — let me know what you think! I’m new to writing HC’s but I’m sooo in love with all the bois rn, I might do a Museum Date ver with all of them <3

#attack on titan #attackontitan #porcoxreader #porco x reader #porco #porco galliard #porcogalliard #attackontitanheadcanons #aotheadcanons #shingekinokyojin #shingeki no kyojin #aotporco #porco galliard x reader #warrior headcanons #warriors headcanon #fluff #porco fluff #porco galliard x fluff #attack on titan x reader

[moldygreenblue]

things from the asoue movie

(i personally think did better than netflix asoue, with “honorary mentions” that i can tolerate in ways.)

1. the movie soundtrack. thomas newman composes a lot of good scores, and everything in the asoue movie soundtrack is no exception (drive away is a real head banger). the fact it’s all on youtube, means one can jam to it whenever they go on youtube (i’m guilty of this). i love the netflix soundtrack a lot as well because shoot that is jim dooley’s music (i love his music ever since pushing daisies came out!). but netflix...where’s the official soundtrack? the fact jim dooley’s youtube channel has him uploading songs via request means he’s the only one to listen to the fans who want the show’s soundtrack is why the movie did better because of netflix’s poor treatment by not releasing it. it has to be jim dooley himself having to do it (and i appreciate him doing so because omg i can finally hear the tpp version ‘that’s not how the story goes’ without lemony talking over *tears up*)

2. the vfd group photo. everyone in the photo feels all organic and real. you got members sitting on the floor and steps. some members are standing. some members smiling happy to be there, or with neutral expressions because they don’t want to be there. some are in gestures of sorts (ike is flexing his arm like a goofball; that’s a nice touch to flesh out a dead minor character). it almost feels like the movie team decided ‘since we have the budget, we should get billy connolly, meryl streep, and others to take a photo and we’re telling them they can do whatever they want’. netflix’s vfd feels artificial and very, fake in ways. i don’t want to say it’s a bad photoshop, because group photos can have everyone stand in neat little row all smiles, but some heads feel...off. like, something feels really off with larry, ike, and uh, the guy i think is lemony who is clearly got the worst of it. is that a bad photoshop?

3. the littlest elf. the movie made that elf have a (minor) presence from beginning to end. there’s the fake out opening. the theme song from the fake out opening is heard three more times (twice in-verse, and it’s the final song in the credits) and it’s annoyingly catchy. olaf having a bobble head doll so shoot that means it’s popular franchise in the movie world. the movie made the littlest elf a thing, and netflix only makes it a word-of-mouth reference. what’s weirder for netflix is gustav despite having more of a character and kept his director status (unlike movie!gustav), never bring up this horrific masterpiece and the connection between the two (that i can recall). like, this is not cool, netflix!

4. movie!monty being able to carry snakes and having a personal snake.  the movie probably had the budget to do so unlike netflix, but monty in any continuity would carry a snake with him if possible, even for a short amount of time. movie!monty goes up a level by being a giddy herpetologist with his own personal pet snake he loves and adore (sidenote: movie!monty, that’s why petunia thinks you’re a tree you always carry her around. you spoil her rotten). netflix!monty with the winged lizard is not the same vibe, because it’s cgi. i think netflix!monty should have hold a real snake for at least a minute, as a treat.

5. two-thirds of the wide window section. it’s not that i think the netflix version is bad, for i do enjoy it. but there’s so many details in the movie version i enjoy: josephine and her poofy black mourning dress. klaus dissociating in the kitchen and josephine losing it. josephine casually telling the children ‘oh no he [ike] got eaten by leeches’ and the baudelaires are all (O_o) and sunny speaks for them all. the fact josephine is strong enough to pull the chain to show off the wide window all by herself and violet and klaus are still (O_o).  josephine screaming at the jane lynch cameo + “we got to get her out of the house.”. sunny accidentally dropping the apple basket. klaus tackling captain sham shamelessly. the baudelaires getting accuse of shoplifting. everything about hurricane herman, especially with josephine’s fears coming true. klaus assuming violet may kill them all with her plan to get off the platform.

the fact that the deleted/extended version of josephine’s death is so messed up (josephine realizing she can’t jump, josephine allowing herself to sit back on the boat, crying as she apologizes, the fog covering her and the boat), i truly think the wide window was the book the movie team attempted to do the series right in their own way, but meddling got involve.

and now, honorary mentions.

honorary mention 1: movie!powder face women ages. i don’t know what is up with their personalities (i’m including deleted scenes), but you know what? the movie team did cast two actresses who fit the age range of the sbg. had the movie continued in hypothetical sequels, i would have 100% believe their recruitment into vfd is connected to the loss of their sibling in a fire. netflix!powder face women are older than their movie counterparts (and maybe book counterparts, taking brett helquist’s illustrations of them as them being on the younger side), so when netflix decided to make ishmael the creator of vfd, they pretty much made a giant hole of a contradiction over their statement of losing a sibling to a fire (unless they aged very badly). netflix due to their major changes of vfd, made the movie look good in a weird way. honorary mention because movie series is dead in the water, and their characterization.

honorary mention 2: the baudelaire’s mansion. the exterior only shows up for one second in its glory before fernald stabs his hook into the photo, but given how the ruins are shown a lot, it’s easy to tell the mansion isn’t super huge, but still huge and noticeable. its location being in middle of the street holding a corner spot of sorts means looking from high above does give the illusion it’s in the ‘heart of a dirty and busy city’. the netflix mansion...it’s something. the netflix mansion looks like it’s borderline on a suburb neighborhood, and the mansion takes up six lots like this not what i thought in mind. it’s honorary mention because the exterior shows up for one second (and i’m not sure how to feel about the interior).

honorary mention 3: movie!lemony hiding his face 24/7. netflix!lemony showing his face is because he’s narrating the series from the future. whenever (past) netflix!lemony shows up, there’s is a sense (future) netflix!lemony is trying to avoid narrating himself because it screams, “oh hey that’s me! oh wait that’s me. i’m just...going to go.” and he leaves and only comes back after he’s certain past!lemony is gone. as much i as actually enjoy what netflix did, i do like the ‘i’m not going to show my face, suckers’ angle lemony has in the books. 

the movie carries this over. lemony’s face is always not in the shot because the movie is showing his body head down, obscure by shadows, or do show his face but partly. the whole ‘my ribbon just jam’ bit still has lemony still refusing to not show his face. in fact, it’s hard to find a shot where his face is ‘visible’ without editing the lighting and shadows and what not until the ending, when lemony gets his transcript out of the typewriter due to the lighting of the lamp:

it’s a honorary mention because excluding lemony having no shame on interrupting the fake out opening, no shame on telling the audience to jump out the airplane if they’re watching the movie there, the ‘ribbon just jammed’ moment (if only because movie!lemony blank out afterwards), and technically lemony being melancholic after looking out the spyglass (lemony would totally do that, but in a different context), movie!lemony doesn’t do a lot of things that make him be, well, lemony. that, and movie!lemony’s aesthetics still confuses me to this day.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #asoue movie #moldy watching movies #this is actually old tbh #like a few months old #but it's still relevant #i don't think netflix still released an official soundtrack

[enerday]

So I don't usually write here about any series and stuff, but I wanted to share some thoughts on final space season 3. It's been released 12 episodes out of 13 and the last one hit me really bad.

I love final space with all my heart for its comedy and I love it much more for its dramatic moments. Season 2 has this perfect blend of golden comedy (well, except the piss battle) and heartbreaking drama. I mean I liked season 1, I thought that avocato was amazing character and his death in the middle of season was brilliant move, but season 2? I fell in love with it. I managed to get through first episodes without caring much, yes, even episode 3 with ash and her sister. But episodes 4 and 5? They rip your heart out. (It's the one where little Cato gets stuck in time anomaly and the one where Gary's mom appears). They made me fall in love with themes of loneliness and family that the show invests so well, with so damn good animation and the perfect amount of comedy in drama and drama in comedy. So I rewatched those like 3 or 4 times.

So what about season 3?

I'm not gonna say it's bad or even that it's worse that previous seasons. Don't get me wrong - it's still great. I enjoyed every minute of watching it. Yes, I thought that episodes were a little less memorable as episodes in season 2. But that may or may not be because I rewatched season 2 for numerous times and I watched most part of season 3 within 3 hours (I tend to remember a little bit less stuff then usual when watching it in one shot).

So season 3 I liked a little bit less than season 2. And here's some thoughts about it - I tried to make them as little biased as possible.

Of course there are spoilers.

1. Opening

Why is it just Gary falling down? The story has never been just about Gary and it is shown in openings 1 and 2. My guess is that they didn't want to spoil who's gonna stay in team-squad and who's not. But in my personal opinion it wouldn't matter if they showed all members of team-squad from the beginning of s3 and then Fox died and so on.

Opening 1 was all of them standing together in nearly static fight scene and well it wasn't that interesting but the viewer was getting the ambiance of the show. Opening 2 was so good - it was well-animated, it showed characters' personalities and basically was fun to watch every episode without struggling or fast-forwarding (my personal favorite is when Gary throws KVN - it says so much about both of them). And I guess it wasn't so fun for me to watch Gary failing down alone for 12 times.

2. Comedy and drama

Like I said season 2 has perfect amount of comedy and drama mixed together. And for me it just didn't feel that way in s3. Drama is on a whole new level - Quinn episode or death of Fox, and don't even get me started on little Cato and his real parents. And while dramatic episodes still hit so damn hard, there's an episode with kinda new atmosphere for the show - the one with ash and her new (girl)friend evra. It's kinda melancholic but not in a sad way, more like in a reflective dreamy and wistful way. I'm really glad they're not getting stuck on the one and only way of doing things.

But sometimes it feels like they don't mix comedy and drama anymore. Like I can't really remember fun part of sad episodes, maybe just a couple of jokes but as for me they're not the same. For example, said 4 and 5 episodes of season 2. There's funny bonding moment in the ep.4 and hilarious loggins dancing scene, then little Cato stuck in this time zone and it's sad but also fun with Clarence, and Tribore others stuff and KVN becoming murderous crazy. And then it turns out that they had never been here, and the amount of loneliness little Cato had to face just tears your heart apart. Unforgettable, and it works so well because of the comedy and fun parts of the episode. Because you can only feel that devastated if you don't expect this while laughing. Same with ep.5 - you laugh on fun part with Gary not wanting save his mother from jail and pretty cliche (still funny though) moments of Sheryl befriending everyone except for Gary. And then it's not the betrayal that hits you with sadness, it's the realization during that heartbreaking flashback that Gary still had hope that he can be family with her. And the moment of him losing that hope.

What I'm saying that in these episodes comedy and drama coexist in the same space and inseparable from each other.

There's still funny parts in season 3 which are mostly hilarious (personal favorite - "I finally found him - father of beelzebub") but it feels like there's a little bit less of them and that they carry less weight for the story-telling and building the atmosphere purposes. And as an aftermath you can separate fun parts from sad parts without losing something. They don't support each other and the story feels less holistic.

Again, it could be that creators were trying to show that the stuff became so much more serious than it used to be, but personally I wish they mixed drama and comedy a little bit more.

3. Themes

So I don't actually know if I think of it as a good or bad thing. It's different for sure, though.

I think themes this season were much less obvious and straight shown as before. For example there's still loneliness theme - but sometimes it's so subtle you might not notice it right away. Like this last episode little Cato tries to spend some time with Gary or Sheryl but everyone shooshes him because they have stuff to do. And you know that they're still family but that feels kinda sad and a little bit familiar. (Also in the beginning of ep.12 there's this kinda sad intonation which with he asks Gary in which team he was).

There's a lot more moments with different themes which you maybe don't notice but feel I can't really recall what are they specifically.

So yeah while season 2 serves themes of the show on big plate and put them right under your nose, season 3 sprays them in the air and makes sure you feel rather then see them.

(Maybe I'm overthinking it but still).

4. Characters and stuff

I'm not really gonna say too much in this section because everyone has pretty much different opinion on each of them.

But some things have to be said.

I saw a lot of people hating ash arc this season and saying that it's artificial. But I find it quite natural. Like, yeah, she makes bad decisions and jumps to wrong conclusions but it's not like it's not in her character. She's always been proactive type and now more than ever she wants to take action, not to sit and wait. And it doesn't mean that if character does something you don't like it makes a plot poorly written or her arc artificial.

I like how Quinn's decision to stay in final space raises debates. There is no clear answer whether her decision was right or wrong, and it's amazing that the show can ask the audience this type of question. And again there's much more to discuss with no clear morally right answer than it was in season 2.

Every father-son bonding moment between Gary and little Cato is precious. Period.

Gary himself feels much more mature and this is amazing job with his arc and character development. Avocato has this inner (soon to be external) conflict with him killing little Cato's real parents and sometimes it feels like it's all that he got in this season, but it's fine, I guess. Tribore is simply the best as always.

Not sure I have something unique or smart to say about everyone else that is not obvious itself and I don't want to extend this so freaking long post for things that have already been said.

Except for that it's been 12 episodes and I still have no idea why it was story-wise necessary to add Biskit to team squad. He's not plot relevant. For me personally he's not even that funny.

So, I guess that's all for now. Definitely gonna update this when season finale is released. Just to talk things out.

Sorry, there are probably ton of mistakes. English is not my first language but I try my best to be better, so feel free to correct me.

#final space #ash #little Cato #gary goodspeed #final space season 3 #final space review #opinion #review #correct me if im wrong #i mean it #final space season 3 spoilers #final space spoilers

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch8 reread as fast as i can before ch11 arrives help

aww Dani nervous for Jamie’s big race is so cute

i love Dani’s whole photography thing n her wanting to document their lives it’s so sweet

i’m suddenly stuck on the whole blue as a theme thing n now I’m noticing it everywhere/remembering their tent was blue and now their school colours are blue and Dani’s car is blue and I think Jamie’s house is blue. and of course THE SCRUNCHIE

god I love track star Jamie

flip these two are cute together

‘a favour for good luck’ god idk why this gets me so much I think like... Dani giving her this little piece of herself is so wholesome but weirdly loaded i just love it

the carson eddie banter is so funny sdkdhfgj

Dani is such a lil ball of emotions I’m obsessed w her feeling a million things while she watches Jamie

she’s a winner baby!!

also love that this is her setting the record that was mentioned in the prev chapter we love lil details being followed through

Jamie going straight for Dani when she won god that’s so cute

aw Jamie gets a kiss (and a whole gay crisis lol) for her win how sweet

oh no the beginnings of Dani and Eddie

pls this is so soft Carson and Judy so proud of Jamie

I just ate so many carbs I am finally properly fueled for this reading sprint (solidarity w Jamie)

aw Nan quietly proud of her

fkjdfh Dani and Jamie playing footsies at the table

god Nan n Jamie are such a force together truly terrifying to be stuck in the middle of I’m sure. Also fuuuck cld u imagine grown up Jamie and Nan interacting and Jamie in particular being a bit more chilled out and them getting along a lot better but finding their way back to silly little bickering arguments that are really just them knowing they can do that w each other and still be ok at the end of the day bc they love each other ouch it hurts to think about :(

lmao Jamie losing her mind at the sight of Dani in a towel lol I can just imagine her having the same reaction when they’re together too

oooh is the watch from Jamie’s great uncle (? Nan’s brother that she was named for right?) that’s so cool

ugh I want Dani to get her travel adventures so bad

god everytime Dani touches Jamie or says something really sweet or just gives her a look Jamie is suffering so bad

THE MIXTAPE (LITTLE BLUE DUDE SCREAMING AT THE SKY.MEME)

oh god they’re really just gonna curl up in Jamie’s bed and listen to this declaration of love mixtape while Jamie plays with Dani’s hair hold on a minute wait a second

oh no the eddie of it all

aw he brought her flowers (like I am not here for their relationship overall but he does do some sweet things sometimes and he does clearly care abt her)

ugh of course Jamie helped pick them out tho this whole situation is so complicated

god I’m so sad for both of them that their relationship ended up like this. Dani loses that friendship she cherishes so much when it becomes something else she never wanted and Eddie is in love w a girl who will never love him back that way. it really is heartbreaking

oh god the house party time for chaos

Jamie my beloved. sdkjfhsdkjfh and Roger trying to put the moves on her pls this will never stop being funny to me

ugh Dani already feeling so trapped in this life I hate it I hate it

Jamie fiddling w the coin necklace while she watches Dani n Eddie together feels like... she knows she’s losing Dani on some level ouch my heart

is this when Jamie was telling Ed of for letting Dani get drunk wdjkfhdj always the protector aw

she’s still wearing Dani’s scrunchie oh my god. u may have her hand ed but u will never have her hair ties

Dani’s dress MORE BLUE

this is such an interesting event w them like they’re best friends and they’re together so much but they avoid each other for half the party it’s so like... indicative I guess of things changing between them hmmmm

cursed spin the bottle. poor Dani

the zippo lighter. i love seeing things from the box in these chapters. like a gay scavenger hunt

the inadvertent cigarette kiss oh my god. also a little bit like... Jamie just leaning into the pain huh??? I get to put my lips where her lips were but it’s around this thing that has the potential to kill me. god the implications

a little fireside cuddling w ur soulmate ur never gonna kiss how romantic

the sandalwood. I fuckin love that she held onto this scent after Dani told her she smells nice one time. gays really do be like that huh

god this really is the softest moment

christ that almost kiss is so intense how did they just carry on as normal after that I would have died

lol “did i interrupt something?” bro........

dsfkjhdkj Jamie GROWLING at him hahhahahahhaha

oof Dani just wants more of her. I love there was the mention of her carefully constructed walls crumbling and now she’s just like... in this little bubble of almost with her n trying so hard to hold onto that in any way she can

and now she’s back w eddie ouch I hate watching the things she wants slipping out of her grasp

lmao Eddie not putting his arm around Dani when Jamie is there. she really put the fear of god in him I love this angry little lesbian so much

poor Carson being dragged to sports games like “no I’m gay I can’t”

lmao the pair of them trying to be sneaky smoking around the corner (and also having more Moments god the tension of it all)

oooh this Orpheus and Eurydice ref spicy (also fuck this was the beginning of her actually losing Jamie huh god the storytelling... *chef’s kiss*)

oh no Nan :(

god Karen is so awful how could u just break the news to your kid like that

it’s only pain hours from here on out huh

poor Jamie god my heart breaks

something about Dani saying she’s sorry and Jamie just saying she has to go put Mikey to bed fucking breaks me. the fact she’s just lost everything, her home and the stability she was missing from her childhood that she got to have for such a short time, and she can probably barely even process it but all she knows is she has to take care of Mikey. fuck

god her destroying her bike because she’s just so devestated but anger and destruction is easier to feel than being sad.... ouch

“You don’t - you don’t have to feel anything right now. I’ll feel it for you. For the both of us” how dare u make me cry like this

god Jamie giving the scrunchie back feels like such a fucking sad little acknowledgement of her deciding she has to do everything on her own noooo

Dani trying to confront her mom god this is all so much for them to be dealing with I am so sad

tiny mikey saying “want nana” so much pain

Jamie just clinging to Dani when they’re sitting in the pew bc it’s the only way she can ask for help right now ow

“Don’t fight me” my fcking heart this chapter is so sad I need a drink

Jamie is far too young to be self-medicating her way through this god this hurts to read.

this chapter has such a melancholic loss of innocence vibe like going from the teenage parties and boys and track meets and only really having to worry about themselves to this massive amount of responsibility on their shoulders when nan dies (like as much as Jamie tries to push her away Dani takes on a huge burden in trying to help her too) it’s so fucking saaaad

Jamie just breaking and finally crying all this out in Dani’s arms holyyyy shit that will never not break my heart

god Jamie just. determined to raise Mikey on her own cause god knows what the alternative is :(

oof the thread of Jamie determined to fix things. baby sometimes u just cant.

Dani trying so hard to hold things together in the ways that she can :*(

god this ending I am in pain. i know it’s ultimately for the best like Jamie and Mikey absolutely could not carry on like that but.... bro... bro..... ouch

ok gonna go cry in the shower for a bit n then i’ll be back for ch9

#bhah #this really was the highest of highs and the lowest of lows #trying to speed read that might have been a mistake

[ganbaramen]

Ai Furihata’s CYaRon! Music Impression (LL! SS!! Unit Live Adventure 2020 Pamphlet)

Happy birthday, Ruby! Here are Furirin’s reflections on the first six CYaRon! songs, from the Love Live! Sunshine!! Unit Live Adventure 2020 pamphlet.

1. Genki Zenkai DAY! DAY! DAY!

It's been about four years since this song came out, but even now, it's representative of CYaRon!. The first time I heard it, I remember thinking that it matched my image of CYaRon! exactly. One especially memorable part is Ruby's solo in the second verse. It’s actually the first take I recorded—apparently it was good that it turned out to be kind of like dialogue (laughs). And during concerts, we put our own touches on that part to make it a fun performance. Along the same lines, we make some minor changes each time we do the interlude's “We are CYaRon!”. You can feel both us and the song evolve together with all the fans with each concert!

2. Yozora wa Nandemo Shitteru no?

I really like the three members’ relationships, and it’s wonderful that the lyrics do such a splendid job illustrating them. I sing it with the interpretation that Ruby’s watching over Chika and You’s relationship. In the choreography for this song, we rarely make eye contact with each other. You can feel the loneliness expressed in the choreography too. Our performance at 1st Live was especially memorable to me. We went around the venue in individual carts, and the fans were kind enough to set their penlights to the color of the member near them. Our “10th member”s lit up the path for us to go forth on. I remember clearly how lovely the venue became.

3. P.S. no Mukougawa

I was the first member to record this song. Even though it was the first time I’d heard the song, from the intro, it felt nostalgic for some reason. Just from the lyrics and melody, the worldview of the song naturally emerged in my mind. While this song conveys the hesitation to write one’s true thoughts in a letter, it also shows a girly cuteness. So during the recording, I was able to sing feeling quite in sync with the song. When we first performed it at 2nd Live, the choreography was linked to the visuals on the screen behind us, and when I realized it while we were performing, I was like, “Ah!!” (laughs). It’s another song where you can feel the staff’s love!

4. Kinmirai Happy End

The first time I listened to the song, I went, “Finally, a love song!” (laughs). Ruby doesn’t really know much about love yet, but even so, she wants to root for a friend who’s in love with all she’s got. I sang this with the sparkly feelings of a teenage girl in mind, with a bit of “being in love with the idea of love”. Being able to express that purity and innocence—I think that’s special to CYaRon!. The three of us wanted something at the concerts that represented CYaRon!, and after discussing it, the idea of using flags came about. We also came up with the design together, and the one we use now is what I drew with my drawing tablet. In that sense, our feelings run deep within this song!

5. Kaigandoori de Matteru yo

Even though it’s poppy, the lyrics are melancholic—I like that gap. The point of view is that of someone who wants to reconcile with their friend somehow, but doesn’t know how to. The melody sounds comical and fun, but the song expresses the delicacy of teenage girls. Like with “Yozora”, everyone listening to this can definitely relate to it in some way, and I think that’s one of the great things about CYaRon!’s songs. During the chorus, everyone dancing along—with the salute and CYaRon! pose—has become a mainstay! By the way, the “zutto matteru~!” (“I’ll keep waiting!”) was added on the fly during the recording. I put my own spin on it at concerts too (laughs). That high level of freedom is part of the appeal of this song!

6. Sakura Bye Bye

Each unit sings about the theme of graduation, but CYaRon! is the only one that doesn’t have third-years, so our direction changed to doing a “send-off” for graduating students. This was released after the ending of the second season of the anime, so it has these two concepts: “a cheer of support for graduating students” and “we have to grow up”. For Ruby, she’s definitely singing for her graduating older sister. At the same time, she feels that she has to grow up to be strong. I kept both those feelings close to my heart when I sang. During concerts, we sing this while sprinkling cherry blossoms, exactly as the title says (laughs). We’ve only performed it at 5th Live so far, so I’m looking forward to how this song will develop from here on!

Credits

Translation: ramen Translation Check: xIceArcher Quality Check: @yujachachacha​

#love live! #CYaRon! #ai furihata #ruby kurosawa

[bootlegsymphony]

Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]

*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*

Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.

Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.

First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.

But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.

I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.

But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.

In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.

Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.

But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.

For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.

I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.

It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.

If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.

Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.

But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?

Komaeda.

It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.

And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.

I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.

Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?

It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.

They had no choice of not knowing each other well.

Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.

In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.

It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.

#nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #komahina #komahinawriteup #Komaeda Essay Club #dr2meta #danganronpa2

[monstersandmaw]

Embers - Male dragon shifter x reader, Chapter Five! (sfw)

So... this was supposed to go up on Friday but no one reminded me and I’m clearly not able to set a weekly reminder like an actual adult.

Hope you’re still enjoying this weekly series... Don’t forget to show me it some love if you are.

And I seem to have thrown my 'short chapters/800 words only' thing out of the window. This one is the longest so far, at 2455 words long. *rolls eyes at self*.

One, Two, Three, Four

An entire week passed without word from Mikaeïl. You had almost given up on the whole commission for this departmental murder mystery dinner, when one lunchtime your phone buzzed and you answered with barely a glance away from what you were doing. With a searingly important deadline looming for work, your stress levels were possibly at their highest since university finals, and you had been staring at the computer screen for what felt like days without a break.

“Yeah?” you barked, still tweaking the design while holding the phone with your other hand.

“It’s Mikaeïl,” came a surprisingly shy, male voice at the other end. “Is now a bad time?”

Your heart skipped a beat or two and you grinned despite the lingering frustration that the design wasn’t looking anywhere near ‘there’ yet. “No, not at all,” you smiled, “I’m at work, but I’d much rather talk to you.”

That seemed to fluster him a little, but he cleared his throat and said, “Well… I spoke with the department and showed them your preliminary design. They loved it and are very happy to commission you to do the posters for the event.”

“Fantastic!” you grinned, genuinely thrilled to have a more exiting project to work on than this steaming pile of minotaur shit currently sitting on your computer.

“I thought we might discuss it in more detail when you bring Celia over on Friday...” he said, his softly-articulated words doing odd things to your insides and heartbeat. You could imagine him standing amongst his hoard of plants, one arm folded protectively across his slim chest as he stood, ramrod straight, surveying the gardens beyond.

A second after that image had flashed through your mind, you realised that it wasn’t your turn to being Celia to her flute lesson that week. When you said as much, he sighed and said, “Never mind.”

“I mean... Celia doesn’t have to be my only reason to come over and see you, does she?” you asked playfully, doodling with the stylus on a new layer of the design. As you listened to him speak, his eyes began to stare out at you from the screen as you drew them, all distant and guarded, but glittering and somehow soft all the same.

“No,” he said slowly, the slight smile audible in his rich voice. “No, of course not. I’m rather busy with work this week, and I’m presenting a paper at a conference on Thursday, but if you’re alright to meet up in town instead during the week we could do that?”

“Stickybeaks?” you suggested, thinking of the cafe where you’d first met him.

He clearly along the same lines because he gave that sonorous chuckle that made your stomach churn pleasurably. “Perfect. What day suits you? I’m free most days after five, except this Thursday.”

“Friday?” you suggested. “I think Stickybeaks stays open til seven. We could have an early supper? That way you can tell me all about the conference too, if you like.”

“I wouldn’t want to bore you,” he said reflexively.

“Oh, I think you’d have to work quite hard to bore me. I’m really quite a curious person...”

There was something melancholic about the tone of his clipped response. “If you say so,” was all he said. “Well, Friday works well for me. Shall I meet you there at half past five? That will give me enough time to walk over from the department.”

“Perfect. Looking forward to it.”

A beat too late, he said with a slight crack in his voice, “So am I.”

You rushed out of work that Friday and ended up getting to the cafe way too early, so you got out your A3 sketch pad and started to draw a number of variations on the same theme that you’d doodled back at Mikaeïl’s house. When he stepped through the doorway at precisely 5.29pm, Mikaeïl glanced around, the lenses of his round glasses glinting in the low light, and when he saw you, the hard line of his tense shoulders eased just a little.

Mikaeïl nodded politely at Lidaë, who was fluttering around behind the counter as usual despite the fact that there weren’t all that many customers in at that time, and then he strode over to your place in the back corner. The pathway through the sleek, modern tables gave you the opportunity to admire the slender form of his body and the effortless grace with which he moved, almost like a dancer. Today he wore a butterscotch coloured trench coat, belted tightly at his slim waist over black skinny jeans, and his autumn-red hair was tied back in a sleek ponytail again, with the shorter sections at the front falling down to mask the full intensity of his bright golden eyes.

“Hey,” you said, half standing.

“I hope you haven’t been here long,” he said by way of a greeting and staring at your drawings again with that odd expression again.

“No, not really,” you said, awkwardly sitting back down again. “I finished work a bit earlier than usual and came straight here. I roughed out a few more designs for the poster anyway.”

“You’ve been here long enough to have finished your drink,” he said pointedly. “Can I get you another?”

You eyed your empty cup and then glanced at your watch. “I just turned in a major project that’s been bugging me for weeks,” you grinned. “I think I earned a grown up drink…”

He cocked his head slightly and the corner of his pretty mouth twitched ever so slightly to show his amusement. “Congratulations. And I think I might join you in that.”

By the time he returned, you’d shunted the sketch book to one side and once he’d set your drink down, he took his coat off to hang it on the back of his chair. It was a real effort not to stare at the beauty of his figure. Perhaps it was the artist in you, but you really noticed the strong, straight lines of his waist and thighs, his body clearly tightly corded with extremely lean muscle, and the elegant movements of his fingers as he worked the buttons of his coat.

When he was finished, he sat and shyly drew his ponytail over one shoulder, twisting the end of it between his fingertips and blinked softly at you. “What?” he asked in a breathy murmur.

“I… Uh…” you blushed, and settled on a bashful, “Nothing. Have you come straight from teaching?”

He nodded.

“Oh boy,” you laughed. “Your students must love you.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not,” he said bluntly.

“I wasn’t,” you said, feeling a heat creeping up your neck. Did he seriously not have any idea how attractive he was? “Don’t take this the wrong way then,” you said, sipping your drink and letting the warmth of the alcohol ignite a little courage in you, “But if you were my professor, I’m not sure I’d get much learning done…”

“Then I’d be failing in my duties as a teacher…”

Damn but he was hard work.

“Never mind,” you said. “How did the conference go?”

“Very well, to my surprise,” he said, holding the stem of his wine glass as if it were a rare specimen rose. He inhaled the scent of the wine before drinking, and closed his eyes briefly as he savoured it. His throat worked and you watched his sharp Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, and that newly-kindled heat in your cheeks flared a little hotter while blood rushed south away from your brain to somewhere a little less articulate.

“What was your paper on?” you managed to rasp.

He cleared his throat and swirled his wine absentmindedly around his glass. “It’s… hardly a dinner time conversation,” he said.

“What, because you study bodies and death?”

His golden gaze flicked up to meet yours. “Most people find it repulsive.”

“You’re searching for answers,” you said. “I’m sure you’re respectful about the way you treat the remains. What’s repulsive about that?”

Mikaeïl blinked, and then his hard, wary expression flickered to something a little gentler, bordering on relief. “Well, alright. I was presenting my preliminary findings on the use of MRI and CT scans to determine the presence of necromantic activity in long-dead remains…”

“That stuff shows up? Even centuries later?” you asked, instantly intrigued.

He made a side to side shake of his head. “That’s what I’m trying to find out. X-ray has been used in the past, but because any damage caused post-mortem usually presents exactly the same whether the person in question was truly alive or undead, it’s not always particularly accurate… I want to explore the use of other technology to explore the effects that necromantic magic in particular has on the body after the heart has ceased beating.”

“That’s awesome,” you breathed, and he smiled again. “Was it well received?” you asked tentatively.

“Yes, for the most part. Non-invasive examination is always preferable, so there was a deal of interest from others in the field. I even had a lich in the audience who was willing to undergo some testing, which was encouraging.”

“Did you study medicine at the university here?” you asked, and he nodded.

“Quite some while ago though,” he said. “I worked as a medical examiner for a long time.”

You frowned, and he read your next question in your eyes.

“I’m not as youthful as I look,” he said. “My kind is long lived. And before you ask, I’m just over two hundred and sixty.”

“Whoa…” Honestly, it wasn’t actually that much of a surprise, given how… ‘remote’ he seemed at times. A moment later you added with a wry smile, “You must have enjoyed watching the leaps and bounds that science has made then in the last hundred or so years! I’d love to witness something like that…”

“That’s…” he faltered into silence.

“What?”

Mikaeïl steepled his long, fingers and rested his lips against his index and middle fingertips, elbows resting on the table. “That’s… honestly not a reaction I’ve had before.”

“I don’t understand?”

With a dry chuckle, he said, “Most people - though the number is admittedly few - discover I’m old enough to be their ancestor, and they start to act strangely. Friendships have been hard to initiate, and even tougher to maintain, though I’m sure that’s partly due to my own…” he swallowed, apparently unsure of the word before settling on, “‘Quirks’.”

You shrugged. “It sucks, I’m sure, but anyone who doesn’t at least try to understand or get to know you is missing out, and probably isn’t worth the effort anyway, at least in my limited experience. Can I ask you another question though?”

As his lips hitched up on one side, he nodded. “Of course.” And with that, he seemed to relax a little more in your presence.

“Is it super rude of me to ask what you are? I had thought you were at least part tiefling, but that was literally just from the horns and the eyes.”

“A common misconception,” he said over the rim of his wineglass before he took another sip. “And one I usually let slide. But no, I am not any part tiefling. I am… my family is… that is to say…” He set his wine down, took off his glasses, and cleaned them with a little cloth that he drew from his top pocket while he said quietly, “We are dragon shifters. Wyvern, technically.”

You blinked in silence for a stunned moment. Dragon shifters were exceptionally rare these days, having been hunted ruthlessly for sport, mostly by orcs but also by humans, about five hundred years ago. They’d been massacred in droves almost to the point of extinction. “No way,” you finally breathed.

He acknowledged the truth with a brief pursing of his lips, and returned his glasses to his face. Tersely, he added, “Please don’t ask me to prove it here. I won’t fit into this corner of the cafe, and besides, shifting is a huge inconvenience to say the very least.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” you said hastily. “I’m just… amazed? Surprised? Honoured?”

Mikaeïl deftly and promptly steered the conversation onto your drawings and drafts after that, and you allowed him to slide the limelight onto you. Clearly an intensely private individual, Mikaeïl had just honoured you with the truth about himself, and, curious as you were about what he might look like in his wyvern form, you respected his gift by focusing on the real reason you were there. This was not a date after all, no matter how much you wished it were.

Despite that fact, however, it was five minutes before closing time when Lidaë flitted over to you, her iridescent hummingbird’s plumage shimmering, and politely asked if you’d mind wrapping up so she could close up her cafe.

Mikaeïl startled from your conversation as if he’d suffered an electric shock. “I’m so sorry, Lidaë,” he said, standing abruptly and pushing his chair back with a decidedly ungraceful scrape on the wooden floorboards. “I had no idea it was so late.”

She patted his arm fondly and shook her head. “Never you mind, my lovely. I’m glad to see you having such a good evening.”

For the first time since you’d met him, his pale cheeks flushed and he glanced briefly at you before fumbling to pick up his coat. Once he’d slid it on, he fished out his wallet and insisted that he pay for everything.

Outside, with your bag packed and a design finalised, you looked up at him and he turned his deep, golden eyes on you. In the light from the street lamps overhead, his yellow eyes reflected the soft glow in a decidedly inhuman way, and you felt something stirring inside you again.

Feeling perhaps a little uncharacteristically bold, you reached for his shoulders, took them gently in your hands, and leaned in to kiss his smooth, cool cheek. As you withdrew, you saw that he’d gone rigid, his eyes wide with surprise. Allowing yourself a small giggle at his expense, you grinned at him.

“I’ll bring the finished design with me when I bring Celia over next Friday, if that’s ok.”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed softly.

“Looking forward to it,” you said. “And thank you again for supper.”

“My pleasure,” he croaked, bowing his head. “Sincerely.”

Tossing a final grin and a wave his way, you walked off down the street, leaving him standing there, and when you glanced back, you saw that he was walking away in the opposite direction, his fingertips just brushing his cheek where your lips had kissed his skin.

To be continued next Friday! (don’t let me forget!)

—

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